#I’m okay really
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Understanding and coping with depression even as you experience is so weird.
I recognize all the old, dangerous patterns of thinking, so I can just sort of pat them on the head and send them on their way. I forgive myself for falling behind on the chores, and I baby myself a bit in the ways that make it all a little more bearable. I identify what really matters and make sure I’ve got spoons reserved for that.
But there’s just no logicking my way back into feeling the full spectrum of emotion, and honestly that’s bullshit. It’s like, I’ve checked all the boxes! I’m doing all the things, brain! Now you!
#I’m okay really#I just got clotheslined by some really old really deep-down-painful family shit#a couple weeks ago#and the fact that the days are dark and cold and work is insufferable makes it hard to get back on an even keel#real talk with menace
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If it makes any of you feel better I do think I’m due for my period in the next few days which is probably why I’m just randomly sitting here feeling more awful than normal
#I don’t normally post about this stuff but I don’t want you guys to worry#I’m okay really#I just hate crying
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Feeling a bit stifled time to use my tax refund to get new piercings
#my mother will be *delighted* when I come home with fresh new holes in my lobes#honestly they’re lucky I’m not actually rebellious#apparently buying a cute key ring is too much#joke’s on them I didn’t even buy it!!#it was a gift from the partner they don’t know exists!!!#ahhhhhh#mine#personal#I’m okay really
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Do you guys ever wonder what your mooties would think if anything ever happened to you?
Like for me I’d probably want my partner to log onto my phone to post what happened just so you guys know?? But also how do I casually bring that up in conversation? I can’t just go “hey babe if I ever die/fall into a coma could you post on my blog and tag all my mutuals, there’s a list of who to tag saved on my phone” like they’re gonna think I’m gonna kms or some shit 😭
#feeling very mortal tonight#seriously though I want someone to tell you guys if anything were to happen to me#but how tf do you ask someone to UPDATE YOUR BLOG AFTER YOU DIE#I’m okay really#i promise
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I’m may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but sometimes I am the sharpest. You know, because of all the pieces 🤣😭😅
#adhd#cry laugh#help#mental health#self deprecating humor#I’m okay really#if you don’t laugh you’ll cry#thought of a new colloquialism
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thinking abt the fact that i once told him that i’m very bad at expressing emotions so the people i like never figure it out because they just think i’m being friendly when in reality they don’t realize i am MUCH different to most of my friends. he definitely does not realize i was talking about him
#mars’ antics#i’m okay really#*listens to james marriott’s awty album abt it*#i cope with crushes by looping three albums
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Platonic love is so fucking cool, and beautiful, actually. We should have more of that.
#love my mutuals#I’m okay really#I’m just working on myself#putting this here so I don’t hold on too tightly#posting instead of using notes
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reading and watching “classic” books and films is such an interesting experience because, before you get into them, when you only know them by name and maybe the vaguest plot outline, they’re intimidating and stuffy and up on a pedestal, but then you finally take the leap and check them out and realize that almost every story that’s achieved such a legendary level of popularity did so because something in its emotional core reached out and grabbed a lot of people by the throat and you are NOT immune.
#not that anyone but me probably needs to hear this but…#it’s OKAY to have Big Feelings about popular things#they’re popular for a reason - it makes sense to have a big reaction#but yeah - i should really know by now but i’m STILL floored every time i read or watch a classic and it Gets Me#like. this story has been Getting people for decades or centuries or MILLENNIA and yet STILL i’m surprised#‘i didn’t think the story would Get me’ says man about story that’s Gotten everyone who’s ever heard it
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🫳🛸👽👻🦷🟡
#didnt realize momo’s cardigan doesn’t open until I had finished the lineart so just play pretend with me 😊 okay? 🤗🥰#dandadan#momo ayase#ken takakura#okarun#hARTcore#I know I change up my lineart brush every six months but this one??? brother I’m gonna use this one. for EIGHT months#really happy with the shapes on momo w this one :)#momokarun
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i really don’t think it’s “typical dragon age fandom nonsense” for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing that’s remained constant are nods to our previous choices.
i wasn’t expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i can’t find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldn’t have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? you’re gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldn’t have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? you’re saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.
#dragon age#yes i’ve seen john epler’s explanation on only wanting to carry forward choices that they could ‘really do something with.’#and i understand what he’s saying and i’m curious to see how those 3 choices they brought forward will impact the story!!#but i’m still disappointed. and i think telling people why they shouldn’t be disappointed is just gonna make them More disappointed.#also don’t really appreciate dev comments like ‘careful what you wish for with cameos. it just gives us an excuse to find new and horrific#ways to kill your faves teehee 🤭🤭’ like okay???????? what???#alistair came back twice & could be fine both times. loghain’s inquisition cameo was so meaningful because who the hell expected to see him#again? leliana can straight up die in origins and yall brought her back anyways. like what are we doing out here.#also when i think of ‘typical’ nonsense for this fandom it’s people doxxing each other over fictional character opinions. or what#fictional side your fictional inquistor took in the fictional mage-templar war. or just plain old racism.#NOT ‘damn it’s fucking upsetting that this excited replay i’ve been doing of the previous games and all the recommending i’ve been doing#for new fans to play the other games before veilguard has turned out to be pretty fucking pointless.’#might as well tell someone to watch a let’s play of trespasser and that’s it.#11/26 in a hater mood so i’m turning rbs back on lol. go forth & be petty
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happy (very late) birthday empires smp!!
(this ended up taking thirty hours and forty minutes)
close ups and alternate versions below!
#GUYS IM FREE#okay some more stats#14 layers used (multiple hidden)#45154 strokes made and a 1.27793 mb size file#i’m so proud of this i really hope y’all like it#mcyt#mcyt fanart#art#fanart#empires smp#empires smp fanart#ldshadowlady fanart#smallishbeans fanart#katherine elizabeth fanart#shubble fanart#solidairty fanart#smajor fanart#geminitay fanart#fwhip fanart#mythicalsausage fanart#pearlesentmoon fanart#joey graceffa fanart#pixlriffs fanart#xornoth fanart#shipping#ship art#empiresshipping#flower husbands fanart#jizzie fanart#nature wives fanart
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Meeting the Light Dragon ✨🐉
[tagged as spoilers!]
#do you like the color of the sky#sorry long post#anyways#everyone’s talking about ‘the theme of totk is hands’ okay yeah but have you seen the eyes??#this game is so good I’m biting my hands#I just wanted to get this one off my chest bc im tired it didn’t turn out the way I wanted but that’s okay#coloring was really fun though!#im sad now gotta draw happy stuff to cope#totk spoilers#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#tloz#loz#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#totk#botw#Zelda#Nintendo#totk link#totk Zelda#totk light dragon#light dragon#totk zelink#zelink#tloz fanart#totk fanart#art#my art
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i don’t mind suspending my disbelief for leverage’s person-sized ventilation shafts bc that’s pretty standard for the genre, but that doesn’t mean i won’t laugh a bit at some of the egregiously large vents. particularly in the crowning acheivement job (lev: red s2 finale) because - well just look at this lol! harry and parker, two adults, can kneel side by side in those vents. parker can sit upright.
that museum was made for vent crawling purposes. that’s just an extra room in the museum they forgot to decorate. the leverageverse has a thief union that successfully lobbied for a better working environment. these vents double as a playground for museum-goers’ children. i was crying with laughter thinking about this and harry’s vent crisis was NOT helping me remember that there was a serious heist thing going on lol, i love this show.
#leverage redemption#leverage#parker leverage#harry wilson#harry wilson leverage#parker#wren speaks#leverageposting#the sun roofs (or are they just lights?) really get me lmao#ALL of the person-sized vents are unrealistically large so this is not criticism! this is a generic convention!#vents are not human-sized and clean or remotely safe enough to reliably crawl through irl#but basically every building in every crime drama has comfortably person-sized vents#usually for knee crawling not even people lying on their stomach bc that’s difficult to move and looks sillier#and that thin layer of the ceiling under the vent is usually surprisingly built well enough to support a persons weight#and there’s no fans or rats or dust or bugs or that foil tube stuff i forgot the word for#and it’s often oddly well-lit. and that’s okay! it’s fiction! we’re having fun!#sewers tend to be unrealistically large + accessible + well-lit etc in fiction too.#anyway my point is i’m not saying this as criticism! just a neutral obserativion of something i found funny!
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my cat dying taught me more about grief than any human loss i’ve ever known
#guess that just proves i’m very lucky to not have lost much#but everybody gets a soulmate cat and he was mine#he was mine for 17 years i dont remember a time without him#and it’s been 3 months and i’m just supposed to live as if he was never here?#anybody new i meet will never understand he’s just a ghost to them#but to me he was my baby#like life is changing and he’s not here to see it :(#i’m okay really#it just comes in waves#grief mention#i’m not talking about just loss of life btw you don’t just grieve death#personal
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she’ll be alright because she had you.
#star wars#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#sw tbb#the bad batch season 3#the bad batch season three spoilers#the bad batch season finale#tbb spoilers#tbb#tbb season 3#tbb hunter#sergeant hunter#just been thinking about hunter struggling to let omega go because he fears for her safety#it’s a big bad galaxy and he’s seen some of the worst of it#but i think he’d come around because he knows that he’s done all that he could to teach her to survive on her own#his love for her#the same love that makes him fear for her#is the very thing that gave him the strength and drive and dedication to give her all the tools she needed to mold herself into her own—#extremely capable person#idk i just think they’re beautiful and i miss them#apologies for waxing poetic (not really at all but it feels like i’m dumping— don’t know if anyone will even read this. oops. okay bye)#mods draws#mods art#my art
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He just wants to be missed
#gravity falls#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#billford#shitpost#the amount of times Bill asks if people will miss him is something he needs to bring up in therapy#did your parents not love you enough Bill?#your issues are showing#ignore the mistakes#I’m too tired to fix them#and honestly not emotionally stable enough#feeling like a piece of shit rn and I haven’t even done anything wrong#…um but#did you guys miss me? 🥺🥺🥺#one day I’m gonna stop posting entirely and wait patiently for the ‘omg are you okay’ messages that will never come in#and then give up and post again#I never said I was any better than him here#I too constantly crave validation from others and really want to be missed
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