#I’m not good at identifying breast and butt sizes

[aaamike]

Wait a second... has Vermeil gotten... bigger???

[sslytheringhufflepufff]

Amorteserum (Fred weasley x Hufflepuff Plus Size)

Disclaimer: I had another story in mind while I made this one plus I also have my college work so this might be shitty and I’m very very sorry about it & Also made this very fast so I didn't proofread!!!!!! Warning: Smut, Dom Fred, Fat Shaming

This was also requested but it doesn't let me tag so fredswhore this is for you! t 

1.9k words

“Fred” you screamed after the boy running from you laughing his ass off, he pulled another prank, this time it affected you, you had your Hufflepuff robes on and he threw a color changing bomb causing it to turn purple, the robes and you included “I look like a bloody blueberry” you said stopping on your track looking around, everyone was either staring at you or laughing at you “You do look like a huge Blueberry, y/n” you heard Pansy say smirking, you looked back at Fred who’s laughter died down looking at you, your eyes started to sting, you turned your heel and started walking to your common room “Oi! Wait, Y/n!” you heard Fred call after you and you just walked faster already starting to feel your tears falling, you recited the password to your common room “wait, y/n, I didn’t mean for any of that to happen” “leave me alone, Fred” you said choking out entering the room leaving Fred standing outside regretting the prank.  

A couple of days has passed since the prank and you were ignoring Fred and all his attempt to apologize. Walking into Potion class sitting next to your partner, a couple of minutes passed and Fred came in laughing with his brother, you looked at him your gaze meeting his causing you to blush, you looked down and started to write potions down. You’ve always liked Fred and thought that he might like you too but yet again you reminded yourself that you’re not thin and he might not like you that way, maybe that’s why he pranks you “Settle down, now” you heard your professor call out looking up you noticed the twins sitting on the table next to you Fred staring at you giving you a small smile you just turned away looking down “Today, we’ll be practicing a potion called Amortentia” he said holding up a small flask “This potion is the most strong love potion out there, do not drink it please, when you make it just take a small sniff and you will smell something that attracts you immensely, keep in mind that the smell is different for every person” he said putting the flask down, he started to say the ingredients you writing them down quickly, you loved potion class, you always did well in it and Snape took a liking to you, even though you’re a Hufflepuff, he knew that you were a great student and he couldn’t deny it “Miss y/l/n, when you finish the potion bring it up and test it” he said and you nodded starting to work on it. After a little while you stood up “I’m done” and headed towards the professor, he took the pot looking at it “Excellent miss y/l/n, will you please demonstrate how it works” he said and you nodded taking the pot and bringing it up to your nose you took a deep breath suddenly the smell of coffee infected you “Coffee…” you smiled “I smell something sweet like cinnamon and…” you opened your eyes as the realization hit, you blinked a couple of times “And, miss y/l/n?” “I don’t know” you said looking over at Fred, his head was on his hand staring at you as you told the class “I can’t identify the smell, Professor” you lied you felt blush creep up “I don’t feel well, I’m going to the bathroom” you gave the professor your pot, grabbing your things and heading out towards the bathroom without a second thought. You splashed your face with water trying to make your blushing face calm down “Fireworks, I smelt fireworks” you said looking at the mirror you let out a sigh “I smelled Fred Weasley” you said a small smile appearing on your face but disappearing instantly “That doesn’t mean he’ll smell me too” you said softly as you looked at the mirror again turning around leaving the bathroom. You walked around the hallways bumping into someone “Y/n” Fred said smiling “I wanted to apologize” “It’s okay, Fred, don’t worry about it” you said smiling up to him looking at his eyes, his face softened “Can we talk?” he said, you just nodded, he grabbed your hand and guided you to his common room “Can I be here?” “Well you’re not supposed to but, everyone’s in class so it doesn’t matter” he said smiling sitting down on the couch in the middle of the room, you took a seat beside him looking at him “So, what did you want to talk about?” you asked “What did you smell in the Amortentia?” “Uhm I already told the class, Coffee, something sweet like cinnamon and another thing I can’t identify” you lied again “What about you, Fred?” “I smelled Rain, Flowers…” he said looking at you getting closer “And” you said not moving from where you were sitting “You” with that he crashed his lips into yours, you kissed him back, suddenly realizing where you are you pushed him off “Fred, what are you doing?”  you said catching your breath “Something I’ve been wanting to do for a while” he said scooting closer to you “W-wait” you said standing up looking at him “What is happening?” you said confused, he stands up “After smelling the Amortentia, I had to tell you y/n, I’m so in love with you that it makes me feel stupid” he said placing his hand on your cheek you smiled at him “Fred…” without saying anything else you kissed him grabbing his hair pulling him down to you, he grabbed your waist pulling you towards him deepening the kiss he snaked his hand down to your butt squeezing it causing you to let out a squeal causing Fred to chuckle “Let’s go upstairs” he said taking you hand breaking the kiss “Wait, can I go up there, the spell won’t let me” “You think George and me wouldn’t figure a way to break it” he said laughing taking you up the stairs “Are we doing this” you said stopping in your tracks “I mean if you don’t want to its totally okay” he said turning to you “This isn’t a prank?” you said his face changing “What do you mean? OfCourse not” “I don’t know, maybe a prank the ugly fat chick into having sex with you” “Don’t say that, I would never do that, besides I think you’re very beautiful and I’m very into your voluptuous body” he said winking  “Y/n, what I said is completely true, I am completely in love with you and its stupid that I had to smell the Amortentia to realize it, when I heard you talking about yours, I knew I had to figure out if it was me or not” “It is you, Fred” you said as you closed the gap between you.

Fred grabbed your waist, before you knew it you were on his bed, he was on top of you, his hands running through your body, he kissed your neck giving more love to your soft sport, his hand traveled to your skirt pulling it upwards then placing his hand on your center “My, my baby girl, I made this happen” you felt his smirk against your neck and nodded, he slipped your underwear to the side causing you to let a sharp breath out as his hand played with your folds “You’re so wet” he said you let out a small moan, he kissed down your neck to your boobs ripping off your top, you were taken back by his force and dominance but it only made you hornier “Fred” looking at him, he just smirked standing up taking off his shirt and pants then taking off completely your underwear leaving you only in your skirt ��Turn around” he said and you obeyed moaning at the friction from the sheets on your boobs, Fred grabbed your waist lifting it up and placing his hand on your back indicating you to just lift your ass up, your anticipation building up “I’ve always wanted to see you like this” you heard Fred say as he gave you a slap on the ass “Fred…” you said almost in a whisper, he ran his finger through your folds causing you to moan, inserting one finger, making you gasp, he left it there not moving it “Fred, please” you said making him chuckle “Do you want me to fuck you with my finger, Darling?” you didn’t know how to respond, you never knew Fred would ever act like this, it turned you on even more thinking how rough he could be, he slapped your ass again “Or do you want me to fuck you senseless?” he said taking out his finger and sucking it you let out a whimper and nodded slowly causing him to chuckle “Oh Darling, so pretty, so desperate” he said positioning himself on your entrance pounding into you “Fuck” you screamed as Fred groaned  fastening his pace “Fred yes” you said gripping the sheets “You feel so good” he said slamming harder into you, you let out a loud moan suddenly you felt him leave you, a small whimper leaving your mouth, he grabbed your hips lifting you up he took a seat on a sofa in the room and motioned you to go to him, he grabbed your hand “Come on, Princess, Ride me” he said pulling your legs in-between him positioning himself on your entrance as you lower yourself onto him moans leaving both of your mouths you slowly began to rock your hips, Fred gripping your waist while your hands made their way to his neck you started to jump on him his hands gliding up to your breast cupping them as you holded on to him by the shoulders “Fuck” you said he grabbed your ass and squeezed it as you went faster “Fuck yes y/n” suddenly you were laying on the couch while Fred fucked you harder holding one of your legs on his shoulder making circles on your clit “Oh Fred, I’m close” you said and he went faster “Come on Princess, let it out” he said grunting with a few more thrusts you felt yourself clench around Fred you closed your eyes as you felt the wave of pleasure hit you now the thrust sounding more sloppy than before you felt Fred twitch in side you as he let out a loud moan he came.  

He laid beside you panting he looked at you “I have to tell you something” you looked at him waiting “I actually didn’t smell the Amortentia” “What!” you screamed sitting up “I took a Veritaserum that George was saving for a prank” “But you talked about Amortentia?” “I did smell you in the Amortentia, a couple of weeks ago when other student made it” he smiled at you “I really am in love with you and I really did smell you, just not today, but I needed to tell you how I felt and needed a little courage, thank merlin i did” he said smirking and winking at you, you just blushed and tried to hide your face “Will you do me the pleasure to becoming my Girlfriend miss y/n”  you just smiled and nodded giving him a small kiss then nestling onto his chest smiling.  

[samiii-p]

miss temptation (I don’t think you know) 1/?

aka The Maryan Roommate AU no one asked for 🙃 ao3

“You need a home address by next week or I’m writing you up.”

Fuck

Scratching an 'X' over another available apartment listing in the newspaper, Ryan grunts, blacking it out in her frustration. This one was her last true option within her price range and it was about the size of a walk-in closet with a communal bathroom to boot.

And no, just no. God no.

At least the last one had a view. It was a brick wall of the neighboring apartment but one nonetheless.

“You know for someone who needed this job, you sure don’t look the part.”

Sucking her teeth, Ryan glances up from her troubles, spots Luke in his custom three piece suit, grumbles and glances back at the paper where the only options left cost an arm and a leg to stay. Gotham wasn’t cheap by any stretch of the imagination, but selling her organs on a monthly basis just to get by didn’t seem all that appealing either.

“What do you want, Luke?”

“Can’t a guy just stop by?”

“Sure.” Ryan says, flipping the newspaper to the next page, maybe she could find something outside of town. The commute would be hell, but at least she’d have an address and her parole officer would finally get off her back. “I take it that’s not what you’re here for though.”

She hears him harrumph and nothing else. He does it a second later, again … and again.

“Okay, how can I help you?” She asks, sliding her current issues down the counter. Another 18 months in jail won’t hurt, let alone leaving the city in shambles when Batwoman disappears again .

Luke tilts his chin, hard line forming between his brows, a look Ryan has grown accustomed to over the past few weeks. Even though he’s apologized and promised to give her a chance until Kate’s return, there's still a tiny bit of friction lying beneath the surface no matter how much they both try to ignore it.

Reaching into his breast pocket he unearths a photo and slides it across the bar into Ryan’s line of vision. A picture of a black mask, outlined like a skeleton, stares up at her with cold hard eyes. In the corner a coiled snake is drawn with Luke’s handwriting underneath.

Snakebite - fear toxin/mushrooms

“Um, who or what am I looking at?”

He thumps the photo twice. “I was hoping you could tell me. You said you run in similar circles-”

“- ran.”

“As Victor Zsasz, I was hoping you could tell me a little about our friend here.”

“Sorry to tell you this but, no.” She pushes off the bar with a huff, nodding at the photo. “Whoever this person is, is new in town. At least to me.”

“Yeah, well his snakebite is hitting the streets like a plague and no one knows its source. There’s only this photo as a possible supplier but there’s no name, no facial recognition, no origin or leaks, no nothing.”

“So what do we do?”

“You suit up.”

Heat signature enabled, Ryan takes a look around the abandoned building noting two low level street hands Luke identifies as TJ Pillar: 1 to 3 strike for armed robbery and Curtis Armstrong: out on parole for possession.

“Come on, dude.”

She totally gets how uneasy it is to get back on your feet after spending a little over a year incarcerated but at least try to do better.

“What?” Luke asks through the coms, Ryan ignores him, scouting more of the building. It’s been over an hour and nothing. They wouldn’t be here if no one was coming but it’s growing closer to midnight and she has to be back at work at nine.

“Can’t I just bring them in? It’s late.”

“I mean you could, but it’ll be a waste of time. The guys on the street don’t know anything except to wait for the drop here.”

“And we couldn’t call in Gotham PD or the Crows for surveillance because..?”

“Hey, you wanted the job, this is what it entails.”

Behind the mask, Ryan’s eyes roll, mocking this is what the job entails meh meh, like she's a child grounded for the night, which, all things considered…

“Besides, it’s not like you have anything better to do.”

“Okay! Okay!” Over the coms, Ryan hears hushed voices arguing, a muffled ‘no’ then the sound of chairs being switched, Luke’s voice replaced by Mary’s, “heeey, girl. How ya’ doing?”

She smirks, attitude vanishing the moment the heiress speaks. Call it a general preference to all things sans-Luke based but she’d one hundred present rather talk to Mary until the butt crack of dawn instead of Mr. Kate would do it like this and Kate would do it like that. For starters Mary’s a lot nicer. Calmer. Funnier, I mean the girl’s one liners are top tier, bone tickling funny.

And well, she was a hell of a lot prettier too.

“Oh, you know, just pulling an all-nighter right before my day shift.”

A hiss sounds dramatically over the intercoms, the image of Mary’s twisted face pops up and Ryan can almost see the apple of her cheeks bunching and her eyes closing in that cute ass scrunchy face she makes when she’s thinking hard or embarrassed clear as day.

“Don’t worry about it, you can always come in later.”

“You enable her by making exceptions.”

“Luke!”

“What!?”

More muffled noises, a bang and yelp later Mary comes back on. “What I was getting at is that if you want to come in a little bit late, it’s totally fine or we can even change your schedule to mid-day, as your boss and fellow bat accomplice, I would totally understand.”

The corner of Ryan lips quirks up, “you don’t have to do that.”

“I do. We don’t know for sure how long you’ll be out tonight. Coming in afterwards is going to be draining-”

“It’ll be draining for all of us.” Luke yells.

“Shh!”

Unfortunately, Luke has a point. It's not fair on the team if she’s the only one taking the easy way out when they all have lives and responsibilities outside of the cave to adhere to, and a mid-day shift would never work anyway. Mid-day is Officer Steven’s favorite time of day to intrude on Ryan’s life.

“No that’s okay,” Ryan says, “Luke’s right. I have to put on my big girl panties and suck it up like everyone else, besides, I’m going to be too busy selling body parts for an overpriced cardboard box in the foreseeable future or it's a one way ticket back to Black Gate-”

“Wait, what-?”

“Oh, hold up.” An engine alerts Ryan to an incoming vehicle speeding into the warehouse disrupting their conversation. “We got action.”

Censors pick up on a lone body inside, facial recognition scanners kick on and work to identify the driver’s profile as well as the car’s make, model design, vehicle number and license plate number are all shot over to home base for further analysis. She twitches them off once complete just in time to see a window roll down and a hand throw two duffle bags out the window before speeding off.

“Did we get anything?”

A beat passes before Mary’s back on, “Not yet. Gotham PD and the Crows database has no facial identification, Luke’s expanding the search but the car is unmarked, plates false, even the tires vin numbers have been scrubbed. Whoever this person is, really doesn’t want to be found.”

From Ryan’s personal experience, news like that is never good. Someone that deep undercover either has a checkbook large enough to make themselves disappear or an iron grip so ruthless the utter mention of their name is probable cause for permanent removal. This was going to be harder than any of them expected.

“Keep me posted.”

Kicking off the beam she leaps down sticking another perfect grand entrance; hoping the acclaimed symbol printed on her chest will be enough to scare off the bad guys for once.

She is really tired after all.

Unfortunately, Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb both reach for guns, shooting before she can warn them to stand down. And there goes her ‘early’ night. Figures.

“Ya’ll know I’m fucking bullet proof, right?”

Another bullet ricochets off the suit as she takes a step forward. Idiots. Surprisingly they keep at it until the clip clinks, empty, and Ryan comes face to face with Curtis who tries throwing a punch she easily ducks, coming back up to head butt him so hard his knees crumple. His coworker steps up and he’s a bit more of a challenge throwing blow for blow with her until she ducks up under him and comes back with a roundhouse kick to his Adams apple. He clutches his windpipe, now down on one knee she delivers the final blow to the bridge of his nose.

She picks up the bags and hightails it out of there, latching onto a high beam for an easy escape, and heads towards G.C.P.D where she drops the contraband with a note attached of where they can find the assailants tied up and ready for arrest.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re homeless!?”

Ryan wonders if disrupting her day as a civilian was going to become normal protocol for Luke and Mary going forward and on a recurring basis.

“I wouldn’t say homeless.”

“How else would you classify living out of your van down by the docks?”

“Surviving on wheels – ow!” Ryan giggles, rubbing her shoulder and doesn’t know whether to cower or soothe the frustrating scowl rapidly spreading across her friend’s face. “How’d you find out?”

“I had Luke track you after you left last night.”

“Wow, talk about invasion of privacy.”

“And for good reason, why didn’t you say anything?”

Ryan flips an empty glass, dries it out before placing it on the rack and considers how to move the conversation forward, possibly far, far away from this topic all together. The best she comes up with is, “it’s handled.”

Handled ends up being a 200 square feet one room apartment Mary demands to see. The bedroom, kitchen and living room are all one in the same but at least she has her own bathroom. The walls are paper thin, she’s pretty certain the constant dripping sound is coming from the kitchen, one she can easily fix after a YouTube tutorial or two, and a hotter than hell furnace the landlord warns her not to touch when the temperature is anywhere over 60 F unless she enjoys suffocating.

She watches Mary take in the room, the petite brunette moving in a slow swirl on her heels, lip turned down and Ryan just knows it’s not good when they make eye contact.

“Nu-uh.”

“What do you mean nu-uh?” Confused, Ryan watches Mary storm past her and out the door. “Mary! Mary, what does that mean? Mary!?”

Mary breaks her housing contract. When Ryan tries to object she quickly learns that all 5’2 of Mary Hamilton-Kane is nothing to play against and a powerhouse forced to be reckoned with.

… It kind of gets Ryan hot under the collar watching Mary tell her landlord exactly what’s about to happen, and cutting a check like it's nothing in the process.

Assertive has always kinda been her type.

“You’ll be staying here.”

Mary says, showing Ryan around her penthouse in the upper echelon of Gotham City. The apartment is just shy the size of a department store, the lounge being big enough to take up most of the square footage, built in with four bedrooms, one now officially hers, one for guests and another used for office space and three huge bathrooms big enough to house a football team.

“Jesus,” the name slips under her breath as she takes it all in. This place is – is. It’s too much. “I can’t afford this.”

The carpet under her feet probably cost more money than she'll ever see in her lifetime.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not asking you to pay anything.” Ryan quickly gets shut down as Mary carries on, “until you can save enough money to get back on your feet. It’s the least I can do. Being this city’s vigilante is hard work. The last thing you need to worry about is where you’re going to lay your head at night.”

It makes sense, but still. “I’m not comfortable asking you - I won’t use you.”

“You’re not.” The med student emphasizes. Mary takes the box out of her hands and places it on a dresser. “My home is yours now, bestie. Stay as long as you want to.” And before Ryan can prepare herself, Mary’s arms are snug around her waist and her cover girl smile is beaming up at her.

This is going to be terrible.

It’s worse.

Far worse than Ryan could have ever predicted. Not only is Mary super considerate of her new roommate, but she makes her resources Ryan’s own. She’s never slept so good, ate so well or drank water so delicious for that matter. Until recently she thought water was just water but Mary’s fridge is full of this alkaline stuff straight from the mountains, and Ryan swears she can never look back.

“You want pickles?”

Ryan visibly gulps, sitting on the couch, eyes focused on anything other than Mary prancing around the kitchen in her underwear. Mary’s always been super comfortable in her skin but especially at home when she’s surrounded by her things in her place of peace and why shouldn’t she be, this is her home. Ryan wants her to go about as she normally would, actually prefers if Mary pretended Ryan wasn't there altogether. The last thing she wants is to intrude or take up space but she can only take so much. It’s been nearly a month of coming home to Mary asking how her day was, waking up to Mary smiling at her over homemade breakfast or passing out on the couch cuddled together after another failed movie night. There’s only so much she can take.

What they’re doing is borderline domestic. And Ryan’s too gay for this.

“…pickles?”

“Hmm – what?”

“I asked if you want pickles on your sandwich?”

"Uh, sure."

Handing her a plate, Mary plops down on the couch leaving no space between the two and licks the pad of her thumb, humming pleasantly at the taste.

Ryan bites the inside of her cheek. “So, what are we watching?”

Hopefully something gory, and bloody staring a cis-het white male. Anything to take Ryan’s mind off of Mary Hamilton.

Mary chooses Its Okay Not to be Okay on Netflix and by the end of episode 2 both girls are huddled together, simping hard for all the three leading actors. Mary is obsessed with Kim Soo-Hyun's entire face and Ryan’s pretty sure if Seo Ye-Ji stomped on her in six inch heels and dragged her through the mud, she’d thank her.

At least they can agree Oh Jung-se is a freaking king and is killing his role as Moon Sang Tae.

It's nearly midnight before they start to turn in, cleaning up the little mess they made, Ryan shuts off the lights and walks Mary to her room; the first door to the right.

“Night.”

It kind of feels like a date, which is absurd. She knows. But can you blame her when pillow soft lips press against her cheek and Mary breathes, “sleep tight, Ryan” in her ear. Its stupid. She’s being stupid, and seeing things that arent there. Or maybe she needs to get laid. Whatever she needs to do, Mary can’t be a part of it.

After weeks of failed interrogations the team finally manages to catch a break. A source looking to get out and start over leaks the warehouse location where a scheduled supply of ingredients are due to be shipped in at any day now. Niko of course makes Batwoman promise to protect him at all cost and that means working with the Crows.

“Where’s the shipment being dropped?” Sophie asks.

“Unimportant.”

The lieutenant cocks her head to the side, unsurprised at how this conversation is going. The Bat has never worked well with authority in this town, no matter who dons the emblem.

“The only thing I need is for you to make sure Niko is somewhere safe, undetected.”

“Is he at least willing to stand trial in the event you manage to catch this guy?”

“I think that all depends on if your team can keep him alive. Crow.”

The alley is dark, damp and the chill fogs Sophie’s breath as she sighs. “You're going to get yourself killed. I know you have something against my badge and everything it stands for, but it can do some good if you let it. Now, tell me where the shipment is and I can have my team there as back up in seconds. We can get this drug and these thugs off the street.”

That word makes Ryan's jaw tingle. Thug. Of course a Crow wouldn't understand that sometimes people do bad things to make ends meet, but it doesn't make them bad people. To a Crow they’re all the same and need to be locked away never to see the light of day again. Including her.

“Focus on our informant. If I need you for anything else I know how to find you.” And she’s gone, vanished in a cloud of fog.

“Nice job pissing off potential allies.” Ryan switches her coms off.

The warehouse is guarded heavily by six men up top, double the number at the bottom not including the others unloading trucks full of supplies. Photo analysis identifies them and sends the information to Gotham P.D. before she strikes.

“Hope you’re ready for this. If we’re lucky this can all be over tonight.”

“Don’t I know it.”

Taking it as his cue, Luke hits the lights covering the warehouse in complete darkness. Motion sensors switch on and Batwoman moves into action. The training her team insists she go through pans out as she’s able to take out four guys twice her size in fast compact moves. One guy goes over the railing after she cracks him in the nuts with the steel toe of her boot. His strangled whimper is heard all the way down, but hey, no one ever said this was going to be a fair fight.

The team at the bottom catches on and gun fire immediately follows, running across the bridge Ryan spreads her arms and flies through the air, her red and black cape bellows behind her as she sticks another perfect superhero landing. All at once it seems like twenty people are coming at her from all different angles but as always she's quick on her feet tying a handful of them up by their ankles and running through the rest with a non lethal taser, just enough to subdue until she can contain everyone before she starts asking questions.

“We ain’t telling you shit!”

Another guy spits on her shoe, the red of his blood splattering against her boot and she rolls her eyes. There’s no need to be nasty.

“Look, I’m trying to help you guys out here.” Spotting a pair of boobs in the corner, she course corrects, “and girls - theys? Whatever! I’m trying to help you all out here. This thing,” she holds up a box of snakebite, “is killing the community and while it may bring you all brief satisfaction, financially, what’s it going to do for your futures when you get caught, to your families?”

“Who knew the new edition of the Bat came with such a bleeding heart?”

“Well, she does. So if anyone here is willing to tell me anything that’ll point me in the right direction of your boss, I promise I can protect you, get you somewhere safe.”

From the little the authorities have been able to dig up about this gang, anyone willing to betray their leader either winds up dead or living their last days in a vegetative state. That’s why it’s so important to have Niko, no matter the length it takes to protect him, it was for the sake of Gotham.

“I said-!”

“I heard you the first time,” Ryan says, cutting him off, “And I don’t know what you’re used to but I’m only going to tell you how this is played once. I ask the questions and you give me the answers, if you don’t, have fun rotting in jail or better yet … I can let the little I do know out onto the streets.” She bends down right in front of the man and lifts his rabbit mask, exposing his face. In seconds she knows his name. “I’m sure your boss would love to know who’s ratting him out, huh, Robert Michael Humprey?”

The terror in his eyes says it all.

[alegriaspain]

A Book in Bed, Ahhh…

“Let’s have a lie-in tomorrow morning. It’s Sunday,” says Maureen. But I’m an incorrigible early riser so yesterday morning I was up at 5:30, lighting a fire in the bedroom fireplace and looking for a book. The first one to come to hand was Richard Hugo’s Selected Poems. I read it quite a few years ago but I was ready to give it another go. Books don’t change, but we do. The best example of that phenomenon that I can recall is my experience with Arthur Miller’s 1952 play, The Crucible, set in the 17th-century Salem witch trials, but universal in scope. The Crucible was required reading when I was in college but it  made no impression on me. Then, when I was 30, I had to spend a month in bed with hepatitis. Toward the end of that time The Crucible was the only book left in the house that I hadn’t read. I was poleaxed by it. It’s one of the most intelligent and moving books, theater or otherwise, that I have ever read and my discovery that it was a commentary on McCarthyism only enhanced its value. It contains this line, for me, and in context, one of the most moving in literature:

Elizabeth, gently: “They press him, John.”

  Richard Hugo, the Personification of Bleakness

Maureen became friends with Richard Hugo in the mid-sixties when she was running a little hotel and restaurant in Nerja, a fishing village on the Mediterranean coast of Málaga province. The town was bucolic then and an eight-liter carafe of passable red wine cost less than a dollar. Barefoot children ruled the cobblestone streets. The village was ideally placed between the coastal mountains and the sea, with kilometers of beaches and 300 days of sunshine a year. Since then it has been devoured by industrial tourism. So it goes.

The poet was in his early 40’s during his three-month stay in Nerja. It was time enough for him to fall in love with a much-younger English girl. He bought her a ring. Her parents obliged her to return it. That was a typical Hugo ending. He was already a well-known American poet at the time and later went on to edit the Yale Younger Poets series, to have two of his books nominated for the National Book awards and to direct the creative writing program at the University of Montana.

A good poet can rearrange your chromosomes and Hugo is undeniably a good poet. But he’s a poet of constant sadness and unfulfilled lives. According to Maureen’s account Hugo fought in the Italian campaign during the Second World War. Several times while she was waiting to close the bar he recounted for her his grueling experiences in the 123-day siege of Monte Cassino where the Allies lost 55,000 troops. “He never looked up from his beer while he was telling the story,” she said. Could the origins of Hugo’s world view include a case of PTSD? Who knows. In any case, there’s very little glamorous Big Sky Country in his writings. What he perceives in Montana are its numbing cold and damp, its mining-town poverty and an irretrievable love affair. And he notes that there were people in Butte named “Grubski.”

Though Hugo grew up in Seattle and studied at the University of Washington he is more associated with Montana, perhaps the place he should have been born due to its unforgiving bleakness. You can’t grow many cash crops up there, but Hugo makes it look like a perfect place to cultivate despair.

Saved by the Contacts

I was on the verge of despair myself when a 4×6-inch sheet of glossy paper fell out of Hugo’s book. It was a sheet of what we used to call “contact proofs.” These were digital copies of black and white negatives and quite a bit smaller than standard 35mm contacts. So they were harder to read and for that perhaps more intriguing. So I got out the great magnifying glass that came with my condensed versión of the Oxford English Dictionary, 16 volumes shrunken down to two, still hard to read, even with that  magnifying glass. Judging from the age of our dog, Pachi, the pictures must have been taken in the mid-80’s, about 35 years ago. It was a different world then and we and our friends were still the same people, but younger. Everything has changed. The Spanish have a phrase for this: “Ha llovido.” “It has rained.”

The first three frames at the top left are images of the Gentle Young Poet (GYP), sitting at the base of the fig tree with Pachi lying placidly in the background. GYP had already won a national poetry prize by then and would go on to write many more books of poetry and to teach literatura at university level. One of his first collections of poems was entirely about his girlfriends anatomy, which he considered unique, as all young men do. Today he’s the director of one of Spain’s principal international cultural projects.

Next on this glossy little sheet of nostalgia come a few shots of my best friend (MBF) and his wife in bed with their newborn baby girl. She’s precious in the pictures, as all babies are, but as she grew up she began to show symptoms of instability such as screaming her way around the house, “Leave me alone.” Today she’s a perfectly normal Canadian engineer, married and with a family of her own. You never know. I first met MBF when he was 17. Someone told me there was an American teenager living in Málaga who was writing articles for an English-language magazine there. I went down to do a story on him for a General Motors magazine called American Youth. He was a delightful, precocious kid and we hit it off immediately. Written on the front of his guitar was a quote from a Spanish poet (Antonio Machado?). It said (my translation):  “Don’t identify yourself with the “you” of my song, friend. That “you” is me.”’American Youth paid $500 for the story, a small fortune in those days.

How Can I Be a Godfather?

When their second child, a boy, was born MBF asked me to be the godfather. I replied, “How can I be a godfather? I’m an atheist.” “That’s why we want you to be the godfather,” he said. So we drove the 130 kilometers down to the ceremony on a 250cc Ducati 24 Hours. It was the month of February and the thing I remember best from the whole experience of that day was getting off the bike every 20 or 30 km. and flapping our arms to restore our circulation. MBF was a saint of a father and a friend. He died of lung cáncer at the age of 45. A lot of people miss him. Many of them will tell you he was their best friend.

The next three frames are photos of the Young Painter Who Wanted to Be Famous (YPWWTBF). He was the youngest of a talented and idealistic group of people, most of whom belonged to the Cultural Cell of the Granada Communist Party. A lot of them were well on their way to fame, GYP among them, as writers or musicians and he, not a bad painter, half expected to be joining them soon. It never really happened but his consolation prize is a lot of famous friends.

Then come eight frames of our Great Dane, Pachi, the best dog we ever had. Why does he have more pictures than anybody else? Because he deserves them. He was big and beautiful, noble and as gentle as a lamb—except for one occasion when a rough English couple came down our entrance stairs shouting demands. Pachi accompanied Maureen out to see what the ruckus was, his right shoulder pressed against her left leg. The ingleses never made it to the bottom of the stairs because Pachi emitted a deep-throated growl that inspired them to turn around and scramble up the way they came. We never saw them again.

Tragic Poet, Girlfriend Two, Petite Bavarian Painter

Then three frames of Granada’s most talented poet since Federico García Lorca. Unfortunately he, the son of a prominent Granada doctor, drank and led a disorderly life and committed suicide at 35. Maureen had painted a near-life-size double portrait of him and his girlfriend at the time and given it to him as a gift. It was one of her best. One of his subsequent girlfriends—he had a few—shredded it with a knife in a fit of jealousy.

Next  comes a single headshot of Maureen, wearing her painter’s squint, and then three shots of the poet’s former girlfriend, the subject of the ill-fated portrait. She wasn’t beautiful in a conventional way but she had a head of pitch-black hair like a stork’s nest, and beautiful breasts. She was nude in the double portrait. Perhaps that’s what motivated Girlfriend Two’s destructive rage.

The next three frames are identical bracketed (one on, one over, one under) photos of the bronze monument to Mariana Pineda—Granada’s Betsy Ross—in the plaza named after her in a quiet corner of the city. Bracketing is what photographers do when the light is tricky or when they’re insecure or just too lazy to expose carefully.

The last three photos are of the Petite Bavarian Painter (PBP) sitting in the extravagant wicker chair that figures in the aforementioned portrait, looking like a miniature Polynesian princess. The PBP has lived in Granada for some years now, running a bed and breakfast in the Sacromonte Gypsy caves, and is one of our favorite people. Before that she lived in a Bavarian town south of Munich surrounded by delightful gasthauses in the countryside where they served sausages with wonderful potatoes simmered ever-so-slowly in farmhouse-fresh butter. And of course the beer, brewed according to the 1516 Reinheitsgebot rules, which permit only three ingredients: water, hops and malt.

We used to visit PBPand her Japanese mate almost annually during the 70’s and 80’s. PBP’s cooking—always the finest ingredients—was so good and occasionally her husband would prepare a Japanese meal. One time we stayed with them for two weeks. When they arrived in Granada to stay Maureen taught her etching.  Those were the years when I covered most of Europe for an American hotel guide. People always ask if that was an interesting job. Yes and no. The first time you see Belgrade and Skopje they’re interesting, but the fifth visit you start to get the feeling that you’ve been there before. Yugoslavia had its charms, though. The people were so refreshingly naive then. I asked the manager of a lovely little 40-room hotel on a lake if it was private or publicly owned. He looked at me pityingly and replied, “Public, of course. Nobody has enough money to own a hotel like this.” Also, I loved Ćevapčići and Yugoslave speeding tickets which, in those days, were like a dollar and a half. The war in Bosnia-Herzogovina changed everything there for me. Sarajevo used to be one of my favorite places. But I can never go back.

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Sunday Morning, Old Book, Sheet of Contacts, Nostalgia A Book in Bed, Ahhh… “Let’s have a lie-in tomorrow morning. It’s Sunday,” says Maureen. But I’m an incorrigible early riser so yesterday morning I was up at 5:30, lighting a fire in the bedroom fireplace and looking for a book.

[patchrillo]

V - Love With A Stranger

I came over to watch Imperial Highway with you.

Remember, the movie with the kid from Attack The Block in it?

Remember you said the movie was hella depressing? Eh, never mind haha

Anyways we hadn’t seen each other in a while. Maybe a few months…

Anyway the movie was over after-while.

It was kind of late maybe 2am. I don’t remember exactly.

We had already eaten the Nick’s 20pc lemon pepper box we shared so I decided that I should leave.

You had to get up for work pretty soon. I say, “well let me hit the road it was nice seeing you.”

You replied, “same to you mister.”

I loved that shit, when you call me “mister.”

Instantly I grew hard.

But we lacked the time so I kept shuffling on-shuffling on towards the door.

We made our way through your narrow entry way. The heat from the laundry room quickly singed my neck and ears.

Feeling toasty I figured I’d get a quick hug and be about my way.

Hugs between us have always been a tinge awkward since we’re basically the same height - we could never agree on whose arms get to go over the other’s.

But tonight it was different… You instantly gave in. My arms up top wrapping you up. Your arms around my waist.

You randomly complimented me on my butt. Asked if I had been doing my squats. I laughed.

Never one to just take a compliment, I paid you one back. “You smell good”, I said.

I sat next to you for a full feature length movie and hadn’t smelled the eucalyptus spearmint lotion that I brought you those several months ago when you were still mine.

But oh do I smell it now. Strongly inhaling your scent with my nose buried in your neck.

You know, you were always so sensitive. So easy to read.. Easier than most, at least.

I could tell the presence of my warm face, my full lips and strong nose was exciting your body. You reached up from my waist and slowly drove your nails into my back. At this point, I’m sure you could tell I was fully aroused.

Whatever spacing that was there when I went I for a simple church-hug was basically nonexistent now.

I pulled you in closer so you can feel what you were missing and you instantly let me know you got the picture by reaching down and stroking my thick black dick through my jeans.

“Damn did you bring enough dick for the whole class, Mister”, you asked. I laughed and blushed.

I guess you had truly forgot what it was like but I’d be quick to remind you.

Fr strong wafts of air and inhaling your scent I moved to nibbling on your body as if I were Dracula.

Slowly flicking my tongue on your neck, right beneath your ear. You know I was always attentive and caught on fast.

I had you right where I wanted you.

Your knees grew weak as you held yourself up by grabbing the back of my neck.

You quickly remembered how thorough I am like the swing of a pro golfer.

Mouth still on your neck as I flicked my tongue like a small tornado. Fluid and articulate.

You trusted me in my skill. You knew i could give you something to feel and you wouldn’t wake up with a hickey the next day. I’m no amateur.

You’re breathing heavily as you dug in my back some more.

I whispered in your ear, “spread your legs for me.” You obliged so I slid my hand down your the front of your black leggings.

I didn’t instantly slide a finger in. No I wanted to tease you a little. So I cup my hand and just firmly placed over your engorged lips.

By this point I took my left hand and slid it down the back of your leggings & gripped your left asscheek. Basically wrapping your body up, pulling you closer to mine.

I brought my neck up and looked you in the eye - a millisecond almost felt like eternity- and kissed you deeply in the mouth. My tongue was your tongue. Your tongue was your tongue. We kissed for a few more moments. You bite my lip in anxiety for what I’m about to do to you next - my hand still cupped to your pussy.

By this point there was a puddle the size of Lake Erie inside the cuff of my hand. So aroused you start dripping into my hand.

Holding you in suspense long enough & I pulled down your leggings in one motion. A small rip formed so I guess I still owe you $9.50 for a new pair haha

Now all my hands were free.

Still in the hallway i moved my hands slowly up your thighs. Then, out and up your hips. And over your ribs cuffing your breasts. Then suddenly my hand was around your neck. I choked you against the wall, but careful so not to wake your kids.

Uncuffing my hand I took my right middle finger and gently ran it from the back of your pussy up to the front and softly around your clit. Then, the same with my index finger. Lather, rinse, repeat. Wax on. Wax off. Doing so until there were enough coats over my fingers to lubricate them enough before I touched your clit.

Now I’m stroking firmly from your pussy to your clit. Back and forth with a little clockwise motion.

We were maybe 7 minutes into this whole hallway situation and you still hadn’t been penetrated one way or the other.

But you knew I didn’t forget. I slid the middle and ring finger in knowing you could take the double. But I don’t stroke or finger fuck you right away. I wanted to feel your pissy clinching and tightening on my fingers.

So I started sucking your breast. The left one because for some reason thats the only one you could can cum from.🙄

Working my neck I sucked your nipple passionately as if I were kissing you in the mouth. Slow and long suction, working it in every direction. You start shuddering like a child at a bus stop in November.

Your pussy clinched. Throbbed and pulses like a frat boy’s heart after he’d just done a line of Peruvian marching powder.

And then…..the downpour came. All in my hand. All down your thigh. You’re a nasty girl and you knew Daddy liked just that.

I hoisted up your 5'7, 165lbs frame by the legs and walked you back to the bed.

Your cum on the stomach of my shirt I threw you on your back in the bed & started undressing you.

You lied there gathering you breath as I pull whatever was left of your leggings off. I grabbed your leg. Any leg. It didn’t matter to me and put your big toe in my mouth.

Sucking slowly and staring intently back at you. While I did so you couldn’t help but to play with your pussy until I was done.

You massaged your pussy at the same speed that I’m sick your toes so I sped up.

Twirling my tongue between the webbing today your big toe and the next.

I stopped just before you could cum - because I wanted to catch every drop of the nectar in my mouth. It’s far too sacred to let it the bed catch it. I started giving you head. Working my lips and tongue as I work your clit back & forth in my mouth. I pulled the hood back on it for extra exposure and just to give you something to clinch onto I slid in two fingers & curved them at the back of your pussy.

I promised myself that those fingers were just to give you something to clinch on to help you cum faster at your speed but I couldn’t help myself. I was then curling and stroking inside your pussy as I sucked on your exposed clit.

You grinded your pussy in my face and gripped on to the back of my neck. I almost thought I was going to suffocate.

“PLEASE…just FUCK ME,” you screamed.

Music to my ears. That’s all I wanted to hear. I undressed in front of you. Taking off my black v-neck followed by my grey sweatpants. Yeah…I knew what I was doing wearing those.

I pull down my black hands boxer briefs. My dick immediately soared back up like a beach ball when you try to hold it under the water.

I slide the condom on that you handed me from your bedside dresser drawer then slide you closer to me.

But you know that’s not how I like so I flipped you over on your face & brought your hips upwards to my waist.

You’re already wet and open after cumming two times by now so I introduced your pussy to my thick, throbbing dick once again after such a long time.

If your pussy had a tongue it would’ve sung Amazing Grace on the spot. The way it gripped my dick a Marine’s wife would be jealous that her man didn’t hug her that way after a deployment.

I gripped your ass, spreading it open with my thumbs. I’m just as big a fan of myself as you are of me. I wanted to watch my dick work in and out. Over and over again as your pussy submits to my anatomy.

“Yes daddy. Deeper please”, you moaned.

I oblige. Tossing you on your back i watched as you bit your lip as every inch of this curve filled you up..

You grabbed lower back instructing me to fuck harder and deeper. And once again I oblige.

I sound like a track star trying to squat 375. You sound like the blonde as King Kong ravishes your body.

You somehow find the strength to say, “SHEEYIT, daddy is about to cum.” “Damn babe me too”, I replied.

It wasn’t soon after that the fireworks shot off. I let off more animalistic grunts, the likes of which not even the Crocodile Hunter could identify.

As I collapsed over you. Dick still hard, i let you use what’s left of me as you continue grinding your hips against me. Fucking me from underneath. Then you suddenly pushed up until I slid out. I knew what that meant. Waterworks.

Once again I was wet up with your love.

We lied there for some time in silence. Maybe 20 minutes or so. I don’t know.

I got up.

Put my pants on and chuckled, “okay I got to go for real this time.” “Okay, I’ll just stay here and lock it behind you in a minute because I got to get in 5 hours.”

I kissed you on your forehead knowing it would be another season or two before I saw you again.

You looked up back at me with a look in your eyes that you knew the same.

And there it was. I had made love a stranger and walked away with a bit more of soul than I took last time.

[apsbicepstraining]

5 Baffling Lies Society Told You About Fat People

A few months ago, Reddit prepared report because it censored a 150,000 -strong radical dedicated to tracking down and harassing fatty people( don’t fret, several fat-hating subreddits “re still here”, at least one with over 100,000 members ). The live of those groups surprised some people — not that there was mock of the overweight, but that there was frothing, pathological hatred of them. And if you’re an overweight girl, then God help you — girls’ self-esteem is inversely proportional to their body weight. And this is because society makes it clear that the overweight are brutal, soulless monsters.

And where you find irrational hatred, you find lots of people who have no idea what the hell they’re talking about. Almost every aspect of our war against fat is clamped by a batch of fallacies, corrects, and dodgy data. For instance, did you know that …

# 5. Weight Discrimination Is Widely Countenanced( But Makes No Sense)

It would be one thing if the obese is just easy-going comedy targets around the place( and “they il be” ), but there is an entire method of all forms of discrimination purported directly at the horizontally-challenged amongst us. Workplace bias against the flab is more prevalent than discrimination on the basis of ethnicity, sexual direction, and disability benefits. And as you can probably guess, it’s worse for women.

To clarify, neither the study nor we are insinuating that weight discrimination is somehow “worse” than racism or sexism. However, unlike its challengers, weight discrimination isn’t often talked about, and actually seems various kinds of acceptable. While we’re all pretty much in agreement that you can’t opt your fornication and race, lots of beings cling to the mentality that weight is not just a option, but likewise a moral alternative. “If those lazy rascals just had some self-respect, they’d put down the ice cream and get off their fuckings! ” Yes , now tell us again about the time you had to sit next to a fat person on a long flight!

… Too, tell us about how when you eat ice cream, it doesn’t weigh .

Never mind that researchers now know over 140 locations across the human genome that contribute to obesity in various ways. Or that whether or not you’re overweight depends heavily on what part of the world you grew up in, what prescription drugs you’re taking, whether “youve had” babes( yes, in the event of its both mothers and fathers ), and your income and demographic group. Thoughts the problem is that parties these days have simply get too lazy? Well, subjects show that in parts of the country where physical activity increased, so did obesity.( Note: People who exercise tend to eat more .) Oh, and your “lazy” Western lifestyle burns the same amount of energy as that of your hunter-gatherer ancestors.

Roughly restated, “Ugg’s mama so fat, when she gather around fuel, she picked around fire.”

What we’re saying is that while you do verify what you gobble, causes outside your verify determine how often you get hungry, how strongly you feel thirst, what food is most easily available to you, and how much occasion and force you have to devote to fitness. In other terms, a thin person taunting a fat person is no different than a wealthy person scorning the poorest of the poor — it requires willful knowledge about how both of you got that way.

# 4. Our Dietary Attires Are More About Vanity Than Health … And That Can Kill You

Ask overweight people why they want to lose the pounds, and a desire to improve image comes in as the top react. We all know why — the fat-hate bunch likes to insist that they actually simply worry about their targets’ health. But the stigma against the overweight has far less to do with health than it does with seeing fatty parties distressing to look at. Channing Tatum can be smoking tobacco and gras on camera in between burns of pure butter, but no one will blink as long as he has those abs. But if he increases 150 pounds, his film vocation will be completed and the tabloids will call him a monster. Twenty pounds if he was a woman TAGEND

“We ask every cadre of fatty be in your butt and breasts! Your person is exclusively for our amusement! ”

The problem with this should be obvious: If we’re thin, it’s all too easy to be lulled to a inaccurate appreciation of security interests, despite the multitude of ways conventional “fat parties diseases” such as cardiovascular both problems and diabetes can plague thin beings, too. Who attends if the doctor’s cry at you when your six-pack says you’re as healthy as can be, right? Nobody looks at a seductive model on a billboard and asks how their blood pressure is doing.

Here’s how crazy it’s gotten. It’s well-known that ceasing inhaling have contributed to heavines gain( about ten pounds, on average ). Society has established us so scared of being overweight that smokers are afraid to quit because of this. A third of smokers say that the same reasons they don’t quit is that they’re afraid they’ll get fat. Hell, many who actually finagle to quit soon find themselves contemplating picking up the garb again because of the pounds they packed on after quitting.

“At least now the judgy assholes just oblige faces and walk away.”

That’s how ingrained the “thin is better than fat” happening is in our culture. There are beings out there who’d preferably danger croaking from cancer than living as a fat person, although there are no physician in the world would recommend it. “You’ve put one across a few pounds, Steve, I’m going to prescribe you this here cartons of Camels. What’s incorrect, Steve? Don’t you want to be hot ? Are you a pussy ? “

# 3. The Obesity Epidemic Is Far More Complicated Than We Think

Type “obesity epidemic” in Google and you’re punched in the gut with close to 1.5 million search results, many of which are from reputable foundations, such as Harvard and the World Health Organization. So who the hell is we, a humble comedy website, to claim that the epidemic doesn’t subsist? No one, that’s who. The nature is fatter and more diabetic than it’s ever seen. The difficulty encompasses countries around the world, and science has identified lots of factors that are contributing to it( none of who the hell is “people around the world all abruptly became lazy slob” ).

However, we are saying that things are a lot more complex than “People are getting fat, so we need to get them thinner, period.” For speciman, being overweight doesn’t means that you’re inevitably unfit , and research expresses that being too lean might in fact be worse for your health. According to a 2013 report that reviewed over 100 previous investigates on the subject, persons living the longest on average are the ones with a BMI in the “overweight” range of 25 -3 0. Though there is a host of possible reasons for this( they might get better healthcare than their leaner equivalents, for one ), this throws an interesting darknes over the whole “thinner= healthier” mentality.

Who could’ve suspected that 100 lbs of extra opposition added to every progress might buttress you up a little bit .

Studies demonstrate that if an obese person is metabolically fit, which predominantly implies activity and not feeing too much horrendous nutrient, then they can be health. Yes, healthy while being obese. There is convincing exhibit that these fit obese parties don’t have a greater danger of expiring from, or even developing, illnesses like cancer and coronary thrombosis than their slimmer counterparts. And then there’s the “obesity absurdity, ” a recent breakthrough that obesity appears to lower fatality in the face of innumerable illnesses, for reasons discipline doesn’t completely understand.

Which is good, because as we’ve “ve said”, dieting statistically repairs severe obesity with a success rate on equality with voodoo and wishful thinking. It’s not much different than telling an addict to “just stop doing heroin” or a poor person to “just go acquire a skill that will acquire you lots of money.” Prohibiting surgery or some other medical involvement, the obese are going to have to find ways to be as healthy as is practicable while knowing they’ll never be that thin, smiling being on the billboard holding up a giant duo of pants.

Don’t be clowned; those are going right into storage for eventually, because your body will try like crazy to force a relapse .

And since we brought up surgery …

# 2. Liposuction Sucks( Away Your Good Fat)

Our fierce rejection of anyone in the plus-size category drives about 400, 000 beings a year in the U.S. alone to try to take a shortcut to thinness via the cheater system of liposuction. Well shit, why doesn’t everybody do that?

It’s because liposuction is a fruitless tool for the obese — and, for that are important, a questionable one for everyone else. It is only appropriate for those with very specific health concerns, or thin people who want to be very slightly thinner in a particular area. What’s more, the methods used comes with more potential health hazards than a crosswalk in the Fast& Furious universe. Harmonizing to lipo experts, the findings are “never drastic.” Well, to its implementation of weight loss, regardless; the drama factor of spooky skin flaps or sudden nasty health complications is well and duly present.

So be developed for the chance of more cellulite — one of several ways lipo can leave you gazing worse .

Even if the surgery goes perfectly, you’ve still likely endangered your health. Read, fatten is kind of useful for some nonsense. This is especially true of the subcutaneous paunch — the stuff directly beneath your skin. This fat protects you from injury and cancer, regulates metabolism, fights infection, and even attains your skin sound smoother and more youthful. Guess which type of fat liposuction almost exclusively removes? The procedure is useless against visceral fat — the other, truly hazardous type of fatty — which is usually lodged deeper down in our body and can’t be lipo’d away, due to a stupid technicality of a whole cluster of organs in the way. Therefore , no matter how much fatty a liposuction removes, you’re unlikely to get the health benefits normal dieting would give you, because the bad paunch is still there, disguising. Scheming .

And that’s the excellent -case scenario. Liposuction also offers copious health risks for something that is typically solely for cosmetic roles. Your surgery might come with a slope order of swelling, smolders, illnes, or other, weirder complications( embolism, skin necrosis …). Too, liposuction is a surgical procedure, so complications can straight-up kill you.

“I don’t upkeep; health risks is worthwhile not to have a slight elbow bulge.”

All right, it was therefore sounds like the goal “mustve been” prevention. If it’s that hard to fix obesity once it starts, then we need to make sure everybody is eating accurately from the moment they pop out of the womb! But then the problem is …

# 1. Calorie And Fat Guidelines Are Ridiculously Flawed

How numerous calories does an adult need? Harmonizing to official data ,~ ATAGEND it’s about 2,000 a daylight. If you’ve evaded appearing up the information collected, don’t fear — they’ve slapped nutrition labels with calorie guidelines on all of your packed nutrients, all according to that sacred 2,000 -calorie estimation. All those Daily Values percentages in the labels are based on it. Which is odd, as your average non-overweight soldier should actually eat 3, 050 calories a daytime merely to insist his load. For women, the above figures is 2, 400 calories per day.

“Do we look like caloric calculators? How much is that in pizza, damn it.”

The only bullshit 2,000 chassis is the product of a funny serial of spurious conclusions, and exclusively exists because when the FDA was trying to come up with nutritional guidelines, they constituted the adroit observation that sketches are a lot easier to do than dependable science. So they looked into a number of USDA inspects on how many calories Americans generally snack. This Family Feud approaching to settling a highly important, nation-defining question gave them the somewhat low-pitched hitherto semi-accurate ballpark of 1,600 -2, 200 calories per epoch for women and 2,000 -3, 000 per era for men. However, the FDA immediately proceeded to fuck up their hard-earned data by deciding to play averages, and mount the recommended daily caloric intake at 2, 350 calories, regardless of age or gender.

Conveniently forgetting that “round figures” was what they were trying to prevent in the fucking first place .

And then there’s fat. If you miss your form to be low in fatty, then you need foods that are low in fatty, right? Hell, that’s basic science! But then that turned out to be complete and utter horseshit, extremely. When the U.S. started clumsily coughing up its first dietary guidelines in 1977, heart attacks had recently taken the throne as the most common cause of demise. There was nothing in the available data to support the claim that dietary fatten grows the risk of heart attack, or any sort of death at all( except perhaps those caused by declining in a puddle of bacon paunch ). Nonetheless, officials were anxious to do something to at least appear to deal with the situation, so they grabbed a knot of arbitrary sign pointing toward paunch and declared it the enemy.

This is in spite of the fact that studies have found that a high-fat diet doesn’t even play a important role in cholesterol buildup, and that our constant fat-avoidance prepares us consume voluminous quantities of carbohydrates instead. Incidentally, carbs break into carbohydrates and a different sort of fatten announced triglyceride, which may cause more harm to your cardiovascular system than any quantity of swine produces you could chow down.

“I’m not sure; let’s accuse eggs and be done with it.” “Good , no one know what the fuck they end up doing anyway.”

Okay, what about sugar and high-fructose corn syrup? Hasn’t science proclaimed them to be Public Enemy# 1 these days? Sure, and you’re wise to cut down on them … unless you replace them with artificial sweeteners, which appear to cause just as much weight amplification, if not more, for a variety of reasons that mostly come down to “They attain you hungrier afterward.”

Confused? Good. That means you’ve gained an accurate belief of what is a truly confusing place. Any jackass who smugly proclaims, “It’s about calories in versus calories out, beings! ” is the most ignorant of all. It’s like saying that solving violation is simple-minded because all we need is everyone to “stop doing crimes.” If they’re not stopping to consider the causes of this abrupt worldwide caloric inequality, they’re being, well, as lazy as they accuse fatty parties of being.

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[chloetcommathecreator-blog]

God

 I don't believe in God as a palpable, cohesive, man-esque being But I know an angel An angel that softly descended into my life and pulled me from the abyss An angel with blonde hair and blue eyes who I can touch, hug, talk to.

An angel lives in my house It is wrapped safe in her wings

An angel that became a mother figure to two desperately lost and shattered children And who said that from the moment she met us, we were her kids.

5/5/14

My period is two weeks late. I’m afraid I might be pregnant but am trying not to think about it. If I don’t get my period within the week I will take a pregnancy test and see. I don’t feel stupid though and I don’t regret the sex I had with Dan. He bought condoms that were too big and caused so much friction that it made my vagina mad sore and he said there was too much friction on his end as well. Since the first time I let him in me without a condom it has been hard to go back to using them. I need to buy some that fit his dick, just to be safe and save me the stress, but it feels so good when he fucks me bare and he first enters me slowly, us pushing against each other until he is all the way in me… so so slow… and it makes me almost come it feels so good. Once he came immediately after entering me like that - just once, slow. Strangely, it feels better than when I am ‘stupid wet’ as he calls it, and we slip and slide against each other until his stomach below the navel is shiny wet and my hands are on his hips and sometimes there is a wet spot under us on the bed where I squirted something?? out of my body during sex without realizing or noticing. I like the way it feels when he comes on me, pulls out and grips the head of his penis and squirts warm semen on me like the type of hot rain in summer that almost hisses when it hits the sweltering pavement. I like the way it feels with the lights off, in complete black, when he pulls out of me, telling me he is going to come, and I feel the warm squirts on and up my back or the back of my legs. I think I like it for the warmth of it. I’ll smear it across my body to wipe it off and wipe my hands off on the bed before I lay there, content not to move. I thought about Ari today and having sex with him but it seems like a movie I saw, not my life, and then I thought about Dan on top of me, in me, when he told me he wanted to make me cum in a moan and I almost pee myself thinking about it. The memory sets the lower half of my body on fire. I like the way his dick feels and he doesn’t taste bad or like anything, just warm skin. I don’t mind the thick hairiness of him or pulling a pubic hair from my mouth as I clean up in the bathroom. It doesn’t repulse me. I like him even though we don’t look each other in the eyes often or talk about anything too deep. I like him even though his voice is monotone and his jokes are bad and he buys all his clothes at thrift shops that often don’t fit and has been wearing the same clothes since high school, taken from his father. I don’t mind that he doesn’t have anywhere near a flat stomach or that his back is tiger-striped with stretch marks. I don’t mind that his breasts are about the size as mine and his butt would be described as limp. I don’t mind when he farts dryly in his sleep and am so grateful he doesn’t snore. I like the way the first thing he does when he wakes up is wrap his arms around me and press into me. I don’t like when he puts my hand down the covers onto his dick. He has only done it once. I don’t like looking him in the eye during sex, or anywhere near his face. I don’t like how thick his eyebrows are to the point that he constantly looks bemused and bored. I don’t like that everyone and their brother is named Dan but I like Dan and want him back in Hyde Park so he can slip into bed with me and we can nap together tangled in the sun.

5/18/14

I take 42 pills a week, six a day. I am controlled and controlling I am everything that society wants me to be.

I am tweaked of imperfections Bleeding on schedule Able to fall asleep within thirty minutes Calm Sociable Functioning.

I put hot pink allergy pills in each section of my week-long pillbox.

I enjoy refilling it enjoy the sound of pills rattling in a plastic bottle

I enjoy the different colors and shapes I like that I am able to identify each med by sight

My jaw hasn’t been clenched for a while.

I have nightmares like never before and wake up drenched in sweat. But I can fall asleep without crying. Maybe I’m just sick from rapid temperature changes at work… working in a blistering hot kitchen and then doing inventory in the freezer until my fingers and lips are numb.

I am everything my parents want me to be and less. I am compassionate, empathetic, pretty, artistic, yearning to please

I bite my nails until they bleed and throb stingingly with every beat of my pulse.

I can create new worlds and disappear into them in books and movies and moments and dreams

I listen to audiobooks about things like the life of George Washington

I get along with my borderline mother

I can cook for myself and live alone

I am good in bed

I drink too much

I ache I ache

My foot hurts from when I broke it when I was thirteen, falling when climbing out of my second story bedroom window to see a boy I have never met.

When klonopin makes me too tired, I can chug caffeine and liven up.

I succumb to naps like a cat passing through a patch of sunlight through a window I am sucked into a sleep in which I turn off my alarm without waking and continue on and on I do not have nightmares in my naps.

I am medicated I am tweaked To make me a better me. To make me a different me? To make me a different, better me. One who is content to exist and watch what happens

But mostly just is planning the next meal Trying to adapt to change as it revs and eludes my grasp no matter how fast I run or how quickly and adeptly my mind races.

My favorite pill is the abilify because of the blue color that stands out against the whites and beiges. I like the contrast between that and the pink allergy pill dropped next to it.

The chemicals are rerouted by me the chemicals are controlled. I steer myself without the distraction of me

But I still want to get high, I think. Just a little bit of a body high to be able to lay there in my mind. But maybe I’d rather just nap instead of wasting my time stoned.

Chloé 2.0 No metal plates or screws or nitrous Just manipulated neurotransmitters at my core

Here I am 21 years in the making Slightly overweight Still antisocial Oversleeping Inactive Unhealthy Dabbled with acne Imperfect teeth Short Awkward in my own mind Avoidant of phone calls

But my jaw isn’t clenched anymore And that was all that I asked for then.

She lived among giants. She was the shyest and most calm Jack Russell I have ever met. We chose her or maybe I chose her because she was the runt of the litter, cowering in the corner and absolutely petrified of everything when we met her. Her main happiness in life was food. Once my grandfather tried to feed her nonstop to see if she ever got full - she didn't. She was a black spot running through the snow and a black and white ball curled up at my belly in bed at night. She would jump into our laps and rest her arms and head on our shoulders like she was giving a hug.

[juliehbutler]

What To Do When You Eat Healthy But Can’t Lose Weight

“Help! I can’t lose weight even though I eat real food. Most of my meals include lean protein and lots of veggies. The other foods I eat are fruits, low fat dairy, nuts, beans, and whole grains. I rarely eat sugar or junk food. Why can’t I lose weight?”

That’s an email from a reader of this website, and I’ve received countless ones like it. Many clients make a similar statement at the beginning of our working relationship about eating right but not being able to lose weight. The first course of action I tell them to take: “For the next week record everything you eat and drink; nibbles, tastes, and sips count. You don’t need to record the calories, just what you eat. For example: chicken breast, mixed veggies, a handful of M&Ms, and a cup of green tea, or whatever the case may be. Record every item.”

A week of this practice leaves many flabbergasted. Turns out they in fact do not eat the way they proclaimed in the initial email/conversation. A sleeve of Girl Scout cookies snuck its way onto the list, several slices of pizza, daily trips to the candy bowl at work, a bottle of wine on Friday night followed by a pint of ice cream, and the occasional 20-ounce soda appeared on the food log.

Sometimes people forget, or simply omit, certain foods and drinks from memory. By recording everything for a week, they see their food and beverage consumption in black and white, so there’s no denying what’s really going on.

This is why one of the first steps I recommend for someone who claims to have trouble losing weight is to record their food and drink intake for a week to get an idea of their average consumption (this works for building  muscle and improving overall health, too). This hard data provides a framework going forward. How do you know what to correct if you don’t know where you need the most improvement? The food log provides this answer.

This exercise is not meant to conjure feelings of guilt for the foods you eat. Using the example from above the woman was quick to declare, “I feel terrible about myself and how much I failed” when sharing the food log with me. The purpose of the food log is to make you aware of what’s going on. This is a judgement-free exercise. We see what’s really happening (via the food log) and decide on the simplest changes to implement first.

My response when she declared to have “failed” was: “No, you didn’t fail and you shouldn’t feel bad. We have data and know what’s going on. Now we can make simple changes so you can get the results you want.”

Here’s what we do.

Having Trouble Losing Fat? Try This.

If you’ve tried counting calories and other typical diets, you may want to try this simple approach. More often than not, it works.

Step 1: Track everything you eat and drink for the next week. Do this during a typical week; for example, don’t do this if you happen to be traveling or on vacation. You want a picture of an average week of eating.

Step 2a: Using the results from the food log, identify the simplest changes to make that will lead you in the right direction (e.g., fat loss). Perhaps you realize you eat processed foods and snacks at lunch during the week. A simple change would be to take a real food lunch to work each day, and bring healthy snacks (e.g., nuts and fruit, Greek yogurt, etc.) to keep on hand too.

Convenience oftentimes (i.e., most of the time) wins over what’s “best,” so set yourself up for success and have good stuff within easy reach.

Step 2b: Get enough protein. Build your meals and snacks around a good source of protein, and aim for .7 to 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight each day. (If you’re obese use that guideline for a lower bodyweight you’re trying to attain. E.g.: if you weigh 230 pounds and want to get to 180, use 180 to calculate the .7-1 gram guideline.) You’ll have to track and count this at first, but after a couple weeks you’ll know how much protein the foods you eat most often have and it’ll be much easier.

Step 3: Implement the changes from Steps 2a and 2b, and keep another food log for a week or two. This way, once again, you know exactly what’s going on. Ideally you’ll have successfully practiced the simple change from 2a and increased protein intake every day of the week.

Helpful tip: I’m not suggesting you should avoid your favorite not-super-healthy foods (I despise labels like “cheat” or “dirty” — there’s just food) because that oftentimes leads to binge eating or disordered eating habits (and I know from years of personal experience with both). You can still enjoy things like pizza or ice cream or whatever you enjoy most. Either enjoy those foods less frequently and/or control the portions.

For example, I used to order a small pizza and eat the entire thing. Now, I split a small pizza and have a salad on the side. This way I’m still enjoying a favorite food, but not in the unnecessarily large quantity I used to. It’s not about depriving yourself and trying to be super disciplined and avoiding certain foods — just be smart and keep things simple by limiting the frequency you eat them, or decrease the portions.

Are you the kind of person who wants something sweet every day? Find ways to indulge your sweet tooth by either a) limiting the portion size as discussed above or b) choose lower calorie substitutes. Pay attention to the term “lower calorie substitute” and notice I didn’t say “healthy.” A lot of “healthy” dessert recipes still have the same number of calories (sometimes more) than the “unhealthy” foods they replace.

Here’s a great image from Dr. Spencer Nadolsky to bring this example to life.

Some argue the Justin’s option is “better for you,” but the calories are the same. Don’t let marketing or nutrition gurus fool you into believing the “healthier” version will help you lose fat and improve your health. Even though you may be eating better-for-you foods with the “healthier” options, calories matter when weight loss is the goal.

An example for lower calorie substitutes: swap out ice cream for a pudding cup or a few squares of chocolate, or whatever the hell your taste buds prefer. Drink your favorite diet soda to appease your sweet tooth. Lately I’ve been wanting to chow down on cookies and ice cream; while I enjoy these foods once or twice a week, I don’t want to get in the habit of eating them every day. I’ve been drinking a calorie-free soda a few times per week and that tames my current sweet tooth. (Diet soda may increase the craving for sweets for some people, but for others, like me, it’s nice when I want something sweet.)

Nutrition can be simple, if we allow it to be. It doesn’t have to be a stressful all (eat “perfectly” all the time) or nothing (slip up and then continue to make poor choices because you “screwed up anyway”) mentality.

The goal with nutrition should be to develop long-lasting, sustainable behaviors. The changes you make today need to be changes you can continue to practice a year from now. This way the improved body composition and health results you achieve next month will be maintained next year. You can count calories or macros or use traditional dieting methods if you prefer, but if you’ve tried those methods to no avail or want to try something simpler, give the alternative above a try for a few months and see what happens.

Note: want more detailed nutrition information than I provide here? Go to those who know their stuff: Precision Nutrition, Alan Aragon, Leigh Peele, Georgie Fear.

Related Article: 5 Health and Fitness Principles That Don’t Suck

What About People Who do Eat Healthy And Can’t Lose Weight?

Rarely, in my experience, has someone actually eaten nothing but meat, veggies and fruits, whole grains, and other real foods as shown via a food log and claimed they couldn’t lose weight. If this did happen it was usually because they were eating larger-than-realized quantities of calorie-dense foods like nuts, nut butters, and things like coconut oil (there’s this current obsession with coconut oil being deemed a “superfood” and some women are convinced they need to put it on, and in, everything).

If this is the case — someone is eating mostly real food but can’t lose weight* — I look for the simplest solution, and this one seems to work well: reduce the amount of fat-dense foods (put a serving size of nuts in a bowl instead of eating from the container, for example); omit fat-dense foods (stop putting coconut oil on everything, for goodness’ sake); swap a fat-dense food for a protein-rich food (Greek yogurt instead of full-fat cheese). These are simple ways to reduce calories, thereby allowing weight loss to begin.

And if by some chance you’ve been convinced to put butter and coconut oil in your coffee — stop doing that. Boom. You just eliminated hundreds of calories from your daily intake. (And avoid such health and fitness bullshit going forward.)

*Note: if you have unexplained weight gain, weight loss, or reducing calories isn’t producing weight loss, go see your doctor. Get blood work and see if there’s an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

Another Option: Stop Focusing on Weight Loss

Guess what: you don’t have to focus on losing fat. You can focus on something else like, oh, I don’t know, getting stronger and eating things that make you feel great. Instead of thinking about all the foods you “shouldn’t” eat focus on the abundant variety of awesome foods you can eat. Instead of looking at exercise as a means to just burn calories it can be something you do to feel awesome and unleash your body’s potential.

Believe it or not, fitness doesn’t have to be about getting abs, a rounder butt, torching fat, or fixing flaws. I’m not saying those goals are bad — you should do whatever the hell you want with your body — but those things can be a means to an end instead of an end themselves. In other words: make getting stronger in the gym a priority and eating more of the things that are great for you the focus in the kitchen. Allow weight loss to be a side-effect.

Like what you read? Never miss a thing — sign up below to receive the newsletter. You’ll get the Beautiful Badass Mini Course as a free gift.

The post What To Do When You Eat Healthy But Can’t Lose Weight appeared first on Nia Shanks.

from Healthy Living http://www.niashanks.com/eat-healthy-cant-lose-weight/

[sarahzlukeuk]

What To Do When You Eat Healthy But Can’t Lose Weight

“Help! I can’t lose weight even though I eat real food. Most of my meals include lean protein and lots of veggies. The other foods I eat are fruits, low fat dairy, nuts, beans, and whole grains. I rarely eat sugar or junk food. Why can’t I lose weight?”

That’s an email from a reader of this website, and I’ve received countless ones like it. Many clients make a similar statement at the beginning of our working relationship about eating right but not being able to lose weight. The first course of action I tell them to take: “For the next week record everything you eat and drink; nibbles, tastes, and sips count. You don’t need to record the calories, just what you eat. For example: chicken breast, mixed veggies, a handful of M&Ms, and a cup of green tea, or whatever the case may be. Record every item.”

A week of this practice leaves many flabbergasted. Turns out they in fact do not eat the way they proclaimed in the initial email/conversation. A sleeve of Girl Scout cookies snuck its way onto the list, several slices of pizza, daily trips to the candy bowl at work, a bottle of wine on Friday night followed by a pint of ice cream, and the occasional 20-ounce soda appeared on the food log.

Sometimes people forget, or simply omit, certain foods and drinks from memory. By recording everything for a week, they see their food and beverage consumption in black and white, so there’s no denying what’s really going on.

This is why one of the first steps I recommend for someone who claims to have trouble losing weight is to record their food and drink intake for a week to get an idea of their average consumption (this works for building  muscle and improving overall health, too). This hard data provides a framework going forward. How do you know what to correct if you don’t know where you need the most improvement? The food log provides this answer.

This exercise is not meant to conjure feelings of guilt for the foods you eat. Using the example from above the woman was quick to declare, “I feel terrible about myself and how much I failed” when sharing the food log with me. The purpose of the food log is to make you aware of what’s going on. This is a judgement-free exercise. We see what’s really happening (via the food log) and decide on the simplest changes to implement first.

My response when she declared to have “failed” was: “No, you didn’t fail and you shouldn’t feel bad. We have data and know what’s going on. Now we can make simple changes so you can get the results you want.”

Here’s what we do.

Having Trouble Losing Fat? Try This.

If you’ve tried counting calories and other typical diets, you may want to try this simple approach. More often than not, it works.

Step 1: Track everything you eat and drink for the next week. Do this during a typical week; for example, don’t do this if you happen to be traveling or on vacation. You want a picture of an average week of eating.

Step 2a: Using the results from the food log, identify the simplest changes to make that will lead you in the right direction (e.g., fat loss). Perhaps you realize you eat processed foods and snacks at lunch during the week. A simple change would be to take a real food lunch to work each day, and bring healthy snacks (e.g., nuts and fruit, Greek yogurt, etc.) to keep on hand too.

Convenience oftentimes (i.e., most of the time) wins over what’s “best,” so set yourself up for success and have good stuff within easy reach.

Step 2b: Get enough protein. Build your meals and snacks around a good source of protein, and aim for .7 to 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight each day. (If you’re obese use that guideline for a lower bodyweight you’re trying to attain. E.g.: if you weigh 230 pounds and want to get to 180, use 180 to calculate the .7-1 gram guideline.) You’ll have to track and count this at first, but after a couple weeks you’ll know how much protein the foods you eat most often have and it’ll be much easier.

Step 3: Implement the changes from Steps 2a and 2b, and keep another food log for a week or two. This way, once again, you know exactly what’s going on. Ideally you’ll have successfully practiced the simple change from 2a and increased protein intake every day of the week.

Helpful tip: I’m not suggesting you should avoid your favorite not-super-healthy foods (I despise labels like “cheat” or “dirty” — there’s just food) because that oftentimes leads to binge eating or disordered eating habits (and I know from years of personal experience with both). You can still enjoy things like pizza or ice cream or whatever you enjoy most. Either enjoy those foods less frequently and/or control the portions.

For example, I used to order a small pizza and eat the entire thing. Now, I split a small pizza and have a salad on the side. This way I’m still enjoying a favorite food, but not in the unnecessarily large quantity I used to. It’s not about depriving yourself and trying to be super disciplined and avoiding certain foods — just be smart and keep things simple by limiting the frequency you eat them, or decrease the portions.

Are you the kind of person who wants something sweet every day? Find ways to indulge your sweet tooth by either a) limiting the portion size as discussed above or b) choose lower calorie substitutes. Pay attention to the term “lower calorie substitute” and notice I didn’t say “healthy.” A lot of “healthy” dessert recipes still have the same number of calories (sometimes more) than the “unhealthy” foods they replace.

Here’s a great image from Dr. Spencer Nadolsky to bring this example to life.

Some argue the Justin’s option is “better for you,” but the calories are the same. Don’t let marketing or nutrition gurus fool you into believing the “healthier” version will help you lose fat and improve your health. Even though you may be eating better-for-you foods with the “healthier” options, calories matter when weight loss is the goal.

An example for lower calorie substitutes: swap out ice cream for a pudding cup or a few squares of chocolate, or whatever the hell your taste buds prefer. Drink your favorite diet soda to appease your sweet tooth. Lately I’ve been wanting to chow down on cookies and ice cream; while I enjoy these foods once or twice a week, I don’t want to get in the habit of eating them every day. I’ve been drinking a calorie-free soda a few times per week and that tames my current sweet tooth. (Diet soda may increase the craving for sweets for some people, but for others, like me, it’s nice when I want something sweet.)

Nutrition can be simple, if we allow it to be. It doesn’t have to be a stressful all (eat “perfectly” all the time) or nothing (slip up and then continue to make poor choices because you “screwed up anyway”) mentality.

The goal with nutrition should be to develop long-lasting, sustainable behaviors. The changes you make today need to be changes you can continue to practice a year from now. This way the improved body composition and health results you achieve next month will be maintained next year. You can count calories or macros or use traditional dieting methods if you prefer, but if you’ve tried those methods to no avail or want to try something simpler, give the alternative above a try for a few months and see what happens.

Note: want more detailed nutrition information than I provide here? Go to those who know their stuff: Precision Nutrition, Alan Aragon, Leigh Peele, Georgie Fear.

Related Article: 5 Health and Fitness Principles That Don’t Suck

What About People Who do Eat Healthy And Can’t Lose Weight?

Rarely, in my experience, has someone actually eaten nothing but meat, veggies and fruits, whole grains, and other real foods as shown via a food log and claimed they couldn’t lose weight. If this did happen it was usually because they were eating larger-than-realized quantities of calorie-dense foods like nuts, nut butters, and things like coconut oil (there’s this current obsession with coconut oil being deemed a “superfood” and some women are convinced they need to put it on, and in, everything).

If this is the case — someone is eating mostly real food but can’t lose weight* — I look for the simplest solution, and this one seems to work well: reduce the amount of fat-dense foods (put a serving size of nuts in a bowl instead of eating from the container, for example); omit fat-dense foods (stop putting coconut oil on everything, for goodness’ sake); swap a fat-dense food for a protein-rich food (Greek yogurt instead of full-fat cheese). These are simple ways to reduce calories, thereby allowing weight loss to begin.

And if by some chance you’ve been convinced to put butter and coconut oil in your coffee — stop doing that. Boom. You just eliminated hundreds of calories from your daily intake. (And avoid such health and fitness bullshit going forward.)

*Note: if you have unexplained weight gain, weight loss, or reducing calories isn’t producing weight loss, go see your doctor. Get blood work and see if there’s an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

Another Option: Stop Focusing on Weight Loss

Guess what: you don’t have to focus on losing fat. You can focus on something else like, oh, I don’t know, getting stronger and eating things that make you feel great. Instead of thinking about all the foods you “shouldn’t” eat focus on the abundant variety of awesome foods you can eat. Instead of looking at exercise as a means to just burn calories it can be something you do to feel awesome and unleash your body’s potential.

Believe it or not, fitness doesn’t have to be about getting abs, a rounder butt, torching fat, or fixing flaws. I’m not saying those goals are bad — you should do whatever the hell you want with your body — but those things can be a means to an end instead of an end themselves. In other words: make getting stronger in the gym a priority and eating more of the things that are great for you the focus in the kitchen. Allow weight loss to be a side-effect.

Like what you read? Never miss a thing — sign up below to receive the newsletter. You’ll get the Beautiful Badass Mini Course as a free gift.

The post What To Do When You Eat Healthy But Can’t Lose Weight appeared first on Nia Shanks.

from Sarah Luke Fitness Updates http://www.niashanks.com/eat-healthy-cant-lose-weight/

[apsbicepstraining]

5 Baffling Lies Society Told You About Fat People

A few months ago, Reddit prepared report because it censored a 150,000 -strong radical dedicated to tracking down and harassing fatty people( don’t fret, several fat-hating subreddits “re still here”, at least one with over 100,000 members ). The live of those groups surprised some people — not that there was mock of the overweight, but that there was frothing, pathological hatred of them. And if you’re an overweight girl, then God help you — girls’ self-esteem is inversely proportional to their body weight. And this is because society makes it clear that the overweight are brutal, soulless monsters.

And where you find irrational hatred, you find lots of people who have no idea what the hell they’re talking about. Almost every aspect of our war against fat is clamped by a batch of fallacies, corrects, and dodgy data. For instance, did you know that …

# 5. Weight Discrimination Is Widely Countenanced( But Makes No Sense)

It would be one thing if the obese is just easy-going comedy targets around the place( and “they il be” ), but there is an entire method of all forms of discrimination purported directly at the horizontally-challenged amongst us. Workplace bias against the flab is more prevalent than discrimination on the basis of ethnicity, sexual direction, and disability benefits. And as you can probably guess, it’s worse for women.

To clarify, neither the study nor we are insinuating that weight discrimination is somehow “worse” than racism or sexism. However, unlike its challengers, weight discrimination isn’t often talked about, and actually seems various kinds of acceptable. While we’re all pretty much in agreement that you can’t opt your fornication and race, lots of beings cling to the mentality that weight is not just a option, but likewise a moral alternative. “If those lazy rascals just had some self-respect, they’d put down the ice cream and get off their fuckings! ” Yes , now tell us again about the time you had to sit next to a fat person on a long flight!

… Too, tell us about how when you eat ice cream, it doesn’t weigh .

Never mind that researchers now know over 140 locations across the human genome that contribute to obesity in various ways. Or that whether or not you’re overweight depends heavily on what part of the world you grew up in, what prescription drugs you’re taking, whether “youve had” babes( yes, in the event of its both mothers and fathers ), and your income and demographic group. Thoughts the problem is that parties these days have simply get too lazy? Well, subjects show that in parts of the country where physical activity increased, so did obesity.( Note: People who exercise tend to eat more .) Oh, and your “lazy” Western lifestyle burns the same amount of energy as that of your hunter-gatherer ancestors.

Roughly restated, “Ugg’s mama so fat, when she gather around fuel, she picked around fire.”

What we’re saying is that while you do verify what you gobble, causes outside your verify determine how often you get hungry, how strongly you feel thirst, what food is most easily available to you, and how much occasion and force you have to devote to fitness. In other terms, a thin person taunting a fat person is no different than a wealthy person scorning the poorest of the poor — it requires willful knowledge about how both of you got that way.

# 4. Our Dietary Attires Are More About Vanity Than Health … And That Can Kill You

Ask overweight people why they want to lose the pounds, and a desire to improve image comes in as the top react. We all know why — the fat-hate bunch likes to insist that they actually simply worry about their targets’ health. But the stigma against the overweight has far less to do with health than it does with seeing fatty parties distressing to look at. Channing Tatum can be smoking tobacco and gras on camera in between burns of pure butter, but no one will blink as long as he has those abs. But if he increases 150 pounds, his film vocation will be completed and the tabloids will call him a monster. Twenty pounds if he was a woman TAGEND

“We ask every cadre of fatty be in your butt and breasts! Your person is exclusively for our amusement! ”

The problem with this should be obvious: If we’re thin, it’s all too easy to be lulled to a inaccurate appreciation of security interests, despite the multitude of ways conventional “fat parties diseases” such as cardiovascular both problems and diabetes can plague thin beings, too. Who attends if the doctor’s cry at you when your six-pack says you’re as healthy as can be, right? Nobody looks at a seductive model on a billboard and asks how their blood pressure is doing.

Here’s how crazy it’s gotten. It’s well-known that ceasing inhaling have contributed to heavines gain( about ten pounds, on average ). Society has established us so scared of being overweight that smokers are afraid to quit because of this. A third of smokers say that the same reasons they don’t quit is that they’re afraid they’ll get fat. Hell, many who actually finagle to quit soon find themselves contemplating picking up the garb again because of the pounds they packed on after quitting.

“At least now the judgy assholes just oblige faces and walk away.”

That’s how ingrained the “thin is better than fat” happening is in our culture. There are beings out there who’d preferably danger croaking from cancer than living as a fat person, although there are no physician in the world would recommend it. “You’ve put one across a few pounds, Steve, I’m going to prescribe you this here cartons of Camels. What’s incorrect, Steve? Don’t you want to be hot ? Are you a pussy ? “

# 3. The Obesity Epidemic Is Far More Complicated Than We Think

Type “obesity epidemic” in Google and you’re punched in the gut with close to 1.5 million search results, many of which are from reputable foundations, such as Harvard and the World Health Organization. So who the hell is we, a humble comedy website, to claim that the epidemic doesn’t subsist? No one, that’s who. The nature is fatter and more diabetic than it’s ever seen. The difficulty encompasses countries around the world, and science has identified lots of factors that are contributing to it( none of who the hell is “people around the world all abruptly became lazy slob” ).

However, we are saying that things are a lot more complex than “People are getting fat, so we need to get them thinner, period.” For speciman, being overweight doesn’t means that you’re inevitably unfit , and research expresses that being too lean might in fact be worse for your health. According to a 2013 report that reviewed over 100 previous investigates on the subject, persons living the longest on average are the ones with a BMI in the “overweight” range of 25 -3 0. Though there is a host of possible reasons for this( they might get better healthcare than their leaner equivalents, for one ), this throws an interesting darknes over the whole “thinner= healthier” mentality.

Who could’ve suspected that 100 lbs of extra opposition added to every progress might buttress you up a little bit .

Studies demonstrate that if an obese person is metabolically fit, which predominantly implies activity and not feeing too much horrendous nutrient, then they can be health. Yes, healthy while being obese. There is convincing exhibit that these fit obese parties don’t have a greater danger of expiring from, or even developing, illnesses like cancer and coronary thrombosis than their slimmer counterparts. And then there’s the “obesity absurdity, ” a recent breakthrough that obesity appears to lower fatality in the face of innumerable illnesses, for reasons discipline doesn’t completely understand.

Which is good, because as we’ve “ve said”, dieting statistically repairs severe obesity with a success rate on equality with voodoo and wishful thinking. It’s not much different than telling an addict to “just stop doing heroin” or a poor person to “just go acquire a skill that will acquire you lots of money.” Prohibiting surgery or some other medical involvement, the obese are going to have to find ways to be as healthy as is practicable while knowing they’ll never be that thin, smiling being on the billboard holding up a giant duo of pants.

Don’t be clowned; those are going right into storage for eventually, because your body will try like crazy to force a relapse .

And since we brought up surgery …

# 2. Liposuction Sucks( Away Your Good Fat)

Our fierce rejection of anyone in the plus-size category drives about 400, 000 beings a year in the U.S. alone to try to take a shortcut to thinness via the cheater system of liposuction. Well shit, why doesn’t everybody do that?

It’s because liposuction is a fruitless tool for the obese — and, for that are important, a questionable one for everyone else. It is only appropriate for those with very specific health concerns, or thin people who want to be very slightly thinner in a particular area. What’s more, the methods used comes with more potential health hazards than a crosswalk in the Fast& Furious universe. Harmonizing to lipo experts, the findings are “never drastic.” Well, to its implementation of weight loss, regardless; the drama factor of spooky skin flaps or sudden nasty health complications is well and duly present.

So be developed for the chance of more cellulite — one of several ways lipo can leave you gazing worse .

Even if the surgery goes perfectly, you’ve still likely endangered your health. Read, fatten is kind of useful for some nonsense. This is especially true of the subcutaneous paunch — the stuff directly beneath your skin. This fat protects you from injury and cancer, regulates metabolism, fights infection, and even attains your skin sound smoother and more youthful. Guess which type of fat liposuction almost exclusively removes? The procedure is useless against visceral fat — the other, truly hazardous type of fatty — which is usually lodged deeper down in our body and can’t be lipo’d away, due to a stupid technicality of a whole cluster of organs in the way. Therefore , no matter how much fatty a liposuction removes, you’re unlikely to get the health benefits normal dieting would give you, because the bad paunch is still there, disguising. Scheming .

And that’s the excellent -case scenario. Liposuction also offers copious health risks for something that is typically solely for cosmetic roles. Your surgery might come with a slope order of swelling, smolders, illnes, or other, weirder complications( embolism, skin necrosis …). Too, liposuction is a surgical procedure, so complications can straight-up kill you.

“I don’t upkeep; health risks is worthwhile not to have a slight elbow bulge.”

All right, it was therefore sounds like the goal “mustve been” prevention. If it’s that hard to fix obesity once it starts, then we need to make sure everybody is eating accurately from the moment they pop out of the womb! But then the problem is …

# 1. Calorie And Fat Guidelines Are Ridiculously Flawed

How numerous calories does an adult need? Harmonizing to official data ,~ ATAGEND it’s about 2,000 a daylight. If you’ve evaded appearing up the information collected, don’t fear — they’ve slapped nutrition labels with calorie guidelines on all of your packed nutrients, all according to that sacred 2,000 -calorie estimation. All those Daily Values percentages in the labels are based on it. Which is odd, as your average non-overweight soldier should actually eat 3, 050 calories a daytime merely to insist his load. For women, the above figures is 2, 400 calories per day.

“Do we look like caloric calculators? How much is that in pizza, damn it.”

The only bullshit 2,000 chassis is the product of a funny serial of spurious conclusions, and exclusively exists because when the FDA was trying to come up with nutritional guidelines, they constituted the adroit observation that sketches are a lot easier to do than dependable science. So they looked into a number of USDA inspects on how many calories Americans generally snack. This Family Feud approaching to settling a highly important, nation-defining question gave them the somewhat low-pitched hitherto semi-accurate ballpark of 1,600 -2, 200 calories per epoch for women and 2,000 -3, 000 per era for men. However, the FDA immediately proceeded to fuck up their hard-earned data by deciding to play averages, and mount the recommended daily caloric intake at 2, 350 calories, regardless of age or gender.

Conveniently forgetting that “round figures” was what they were trying to prevent in the fucking first place .

And then there’s fat. If you miss your form to be low in fatty, then you need foods that are low in fatty, right? Hell, that’s basic science! But then that turned out to be complete and utter horseshit, extremely. When the U.S. started clumsily coughing up its first dietary guidelines in 1977, heart attacks had recently taken the throne as the most common cause of demise. There was nothing in the available data to support the claim that dietary fatten grows the risk of heart attack, or any sort of death at all( except perhaps those caused by declining in a puddle of bacon paunch ). Nonetheless, officials were anxious to do something to at least appear to deal with the situation, so they grabbed a knot of arbitrary sign pointing toward paunch and declared it the enemy.

This is in spite of the fact that studies have found that a high-fat diet doesn’t even play a important role in cholesterol buildup, and that our constant fat-avoidance prepares us consume voluminous quantities of carbohydrates instead. Incidentally, carbs break into carbohydrates and a different sort of fatten announced triglyceride, which may cause more harm to your cardiovascular system than any quantity of swine produces you could chow down.

“I’m not sure; let’s accuse eggs and be done with it.” “Good , no one know what the fuck they end up doing anyway.”

Okay, what about sugar and high-fructose corn syrup? Hasn’t science proclaimed them to be Public Enemy# 1 these days? Sure, and you’re wise to cut down on them … unless you replace them with artificial sweeteners, which appear to cause just as much weight amplification, if not more, for a variety of reasons that mostly come down to “They attain you hungrier afterward.”

Confused? Good. That means you’ve gained an accurate belief of what is a truly confusing place. Any jackass who smugly proclaims, “It’s about calories in versus calories out, beings! ” is the most ignorant of all. It’s like saying that solving violation is simple-minded because all we need is everyone to “stop doing crimes.” If they’re not stopping to consider the causes of this abrupt worldwide caloric inequality, they’re being, well, as lazy as they accuse fatty parties of being.

The post 5 Baffling Lies Society Told You About Fat People appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[apsbicepstraining]

5 Baffling Lies Society Told You About Fat People

A few months ago, Reddit prepared report because it censored a 150,000 -strong radical dedicated to tracking down and harassing fatty people( don’t fret, several fat-hating subreddits “re still here”, at least one with over 100,000 members ). The live of those groups surprised some people — not that there was mock of the overweight, but that there was frothing, pathological hatred of them. And if you’re an overweight girl, then God help you — girls’ self-esteem is inversely proportional to their body weight. And this is because society makes it clear that the overweight are brutal, soulless monsters.

And where you find irrational hatred, you find lots of people who have no idea what the hell they’re talking about. Almost every aspect of our war against fat is clamped by a batch of fallacies, corrects, and dodgy data. For instance, did you know that …

# 5. Weight Discrimination Is Widely Countenanced( But Makes No Sense)

It would be one thing if the obese is just easy-going comedy targets around the place( and “they il be” ), but there is an entire method of all forms of discrimination purported directly at the horizontally-challenged amongst us. Workplace bias against the flab is more prevalent than discrimination on the basis of ethnicity, sexual direction, and disability benefits. And as you can probably guess, it’s worse for women.

To clarify, neither the study nor we are insinuating that weight discrimination is somehow “worse” than racism or sexism. However, unlike its challengers, weight discrimination isn’t often talked about, and actually seems various kinds of acceptable. While we’re all pretty much in agreement that you can’t opt your fornication and race, lots of beings cling to the mentality that weight is not just a option, but likewise a moral alternative. “If those lazy rascals just had some self-respect, they’d put down the ice cream and get off their fuckings! ” Yes , now tell us again about the time you had to sit next to a fat person on a long flight!

… Too, tell us about how when you eat ice cream, it doesn’t weigh .

Never mind that researchers now know over 140 locations across the human genome that contribute to obesity in various ways. Or that whether or not you’re overweight depends heavily on what part of the world you grew up in, what prescription drugs you’re taking, whether “youve had” babes( yes, in the event of its both mothers and fathers ), and your income and demographic group. Thoughts the problem is that parties these days have simply get too lazy? Well, subjects show that in parts of the country where physical activity increased, so did obesity.( Note: People who exercise tend to eat more .) Oh, and your “lazy” Western lifestyle burns the same amount of energy as that of your hunter-gatherer ancestors.

Roughly restated, “Ugg’s mama so fat, when she gather around fuel, she picked around fire.”

What we’re saying is that while you do verify what you gobble, causes outside your verify determine how often you get hungry, how strongly you feel thirst, what food is most easily available to you, and how much occasion and force you have to devote to fitness. In other terms, a thin person taunting a fat person is no different than a wealthy person scorning the poorest of the poor — it requires willful knowledge about how both of you got that way.

# 4. Our Dietary Attires Are More About Vanity Than Health … And That Can Kill You

Ask overweight people why they want to lose the pounds, and a desire to improve image comes in as the top react. We all know why — the fat-hate bunch likes to insist that they actually simply worry about their targets’ health. But the stigma against the overweight has far less to do with health than it does with seeing fatty parties distressing to look at. Channing Tatum can be smoking tobacco and gras on camera in between burns of pure butter, but no one will blink as long as he has those abs. But if he increases 150 pounds, his film vocation will be completed and the tabloids will call him a monster. Twenty pounds if he was a woman TAGEND

“We ask every cadre of fatty be in your butt and breasts! Your person is exclusively for our amusement! ”

The problem with this should be obvious: If we’re thin, it’s all too easy to be lulled to a inaccurate appreciation of security interests, despite the multitude of ways conventional “fat parties diseases” such as cardiovascular both problems and diabetes can plague thin beings, too. Who attends if the doctor’s cry at you when your six-pack says you’re as healthy as can be, right? Nobody looks at a seductive model on a billboard and asks how their blood pressure is doing.

Here’s how crazy it’s gotten. It’s well-known that ceasing inhaling have contributed to heavines gain( about ten pounds, on average ). Society has established us so scared of being overweight that smokers are afraid to quit because of this. A third of smokers say that the same reasons they don’t quit is that they’re afraid they’ll get fat. Hell, many who actually finagle to quit soon find themselves contemplating picking up the garb again because of the pounds they packed on after quitting.

“At least now the judgy assholes just oblige faces and walk away.”

That’s how ingrained the “thin is better than fat” happening is in our culture. There are beings out there who’d preferably danger croaking from cancer than living as a fat person, although there are no physician in the world would recommend it. “You’ve put one across a few pounds, Steve, I’m going to prescribe you this here cartons of Camels. What’s incorrect, Steve? Don’t you want to be hot ? Are you a pussy ? “

# 3. The Obesity Epidemic Is Far More Complicated Than We Think

Type “obesity epidemic” in Google and you’re punched in the gut with close to 1.5 million search results, many of which are from reputable foundations, such as Harvard and the World Health Organization. So who the hell is we, a humble comedy website, to claim that the epidemic doesn’t subsist? No one, that’s who. The nature is fatter and more diabetic than it’s ever seen. The difficulty encompasses countries around the world, and science has identified lots of factors that are contributing to it( none of who the hell is “people around the world all abruptly became lazy slob” ).

However, we are saying that things are a lot more complex than “People are getting fat, so we need to get them thinner, period.” For speciman, being overweight doesn’t means that you’re inevitably unfit , and research expresses that being too lean might in fact be worse for your health. According to a 2013 report that reviewed over 100 previous investigates on the subject, persons living the longest on average are the ones with a BMI in the “overweight” range of 25 -3 0. Though there is a host of possible reasons for this( they might get better healthcare than their leaner equivalents, for one ), this throws an interesting darknes over the whole “thinner= healthier” mentality.

Who could’ve suspected that 100 lbs of extra opposition added to every progress might buttress you up a little bit .

Studies demonstrate that if an obese person is metabolically fit, which predominantly implies activity and not feeing too much horrendous nutrient, then they can be health. Yes, healthy while being obese. There is convincing exhibit that these fit obese parties don’t have a greater danger of expiring from, or even developing, illnesses like cancer and coronary thrombosis than their slimmer counterparts. And then there’s the “obesity absurdity, ” a recent breakthrough that obesity appears to lower fatality in the face of innumerable illnesses, for reasons discipline doesn’t completely understand.

Which is good, because as we’ve “ve said”, dieting statistically repairs severe obesity with a success rate on equality with voodoo and wishful thinking. It’s not much different than telling an addict to “just stop doing heroin” or a poor person to “just go acquire a skill that will acquire you lots of money.” Prohibiting surgery or some other medical involvement, the obese are going to have to find ways to be as healthy as is practicable while knowing they’ll never be that thin, smiling being on the billboard holding up a giant duo of pants.

Don’t be clowned; those are going right into storage for eventually, because your body will try like crazy to force a relapse .

And since we brought up surgery …

# 2. Liposuction Sucks( Away Your Good Fat)

Our fierce rejection of anyone in the plus-size category drives about 400, 000 beings a year in the U.S. alone to try to take a shortcut to thinness via the cheater system of liposuction. Well shit, why doesn’t everybody do that?

It’s because liposuction is a fruitless tool for the obese — and, for that are important, a questionable one for everyone else. It is only appropriate for those with very specific health concerns, or thin people who want to be very slightly thinner in a particular area. What’s more, the methods used comes with more potential health hazards than a crosswalk in the Fast& Furious universe. Harmonizing to lipo experts, the findings are “never drastic.” Well, to its implementation of weight loss, regardless; the drama factor of spooky skin flaps or sudden nasty health complications is well and duly present.

So be developed for the chance of more cellulite — one of several ways lipo can leave you gazing worse .

Even if the surgery goes perfectly, you’ve still likely endangered your health. Read, fatten is kind of useful for some nonsense. This is especially true of the subcutaneous paunch — the stuff directly beneath your skin. This fat protects you from injury and cancer, regulates metabolism, fights infection, and even attains your skin sound smoother and more youthful. Guess which type of fat liposuction almost exclusively removes? The procedure is useless against visceral fat — the other, truly hazardous type of fatty — which is usually lodged deeper down in our body and can’t be lipo’d away, due to a stupid technicality of a whole cluster of organs in the way. Therefore , no matter how much fatty a liposuction removes, you’re unlikely to get the health benefits normal dieting would give you, because the bad paunch is still there, disguising. Scheming .

And that’s the excellent -case scenario. Liposuction also offers copious health risks for something that is typically solely for cosmetic roles. Your surgery might come with a slope order of swelling, smolders, illnes, or other, weirder complications( embolism, skin necrosis …). Too, liposuction is a surgical procedure, so complications can straight-up kill you.

“I don’t upkeep; health risks is worthwhile not to have a slight elbow bulge.”

All right, it was therefore sounds like the goal “mustve been” prevention. If it’s that hard to fix obesity once it starts, then we need to make sure everybody is eating accurately from the moment they pop out of the womb! But then the problem is …

# 1. Calorie And Fat Guidelines Are Ridiculously Flawed

How numerous calories does an adult need? Harmonizing to official data ,~ ATAGEND it’s about 2,000 a daylight. If you’ve evaded appearing up the information collected, don’t fear — they’ve slapped nutrition labels with calorie guidelines on all of your packed nutrients, all according to that sacred 2,000 -calorie estimation. All those Daily Values percentages in the labels are based on it. Which is odd, as your average non-overweight soldier should actually eat 3, 050 calories a daytime merely to insist his load. For women, the above figures is 2, 400 calories per day.

“Do we look like caloric calculators? How much is that in pizza, damn it.”

The only bullshit 2,000 chassis is the product of a funny serial of spurious conclusions, and exclusively exists because when the FDA was trying to come up with nutritional guidelines, they constituted the adroit observation that sketches are a lot easier to do than dependable science. So they looked into a number of USDA inspects on how many calories Americans generally snack. This Family Feud approaching to settling a highly important, nation-defining question gave them the somewhat low-pitched hitherto semi-accurate ballpark of 1,600 -2, 200 calories per epoch for women and 2,000 -3, 000 per era for men. However, the FDA immediately proceeded to fuck up their hard-earned data by deciding to play averages, and mount the recommended daily caloric intake at 2, 350 calories, regardless of age or gender.

Conveniently forgetting that “round figures” was what they were trying to prevent in the fucking first place .

And then there’s fat. If you miss your form to be low in fatty, then you need foods that are low in fatty, right? Hell, that’s basic science! But then that turned out to be complete and utter horseshit, extremely. When the U.S. started clumsily coughing up its first dietary guidelines in 1977, heart attacks had recently taken the throne as the most common cause of demise. There was nothing in the available data to support the claim that dietary fatten grows the risk of heart attack, or any sort of death at all( except perhaps those caused by declining in a puddle of bacon paunch ). Nonetheless, officials were anxious to do something to at least appear to deal with the situation, so they grabbed a knot of arbitrary sign pointing toward paunch and declared it the enemy.

This is in spite of the fact that studies have found that a high-fat diet doesn’t even play a important role in cholesterol buildup, and that our constant fat-avoidance prepares us consume voluminous quantities of carbohydrates instead. Incidentally, carbs break into carbohydrates and a different sort of fatten announced triglyceride, which may cause more harm to your cardiovascular system than any quantity of swine produces you could chow down.

“I’m not sure; let’s accuse eggs and be done with it.” “Good , no one know what the fuck they end up doing anyway.”

Okay, what about sugar and high-fructose corn syrup? Hasn’t science proclaimed them to be Public Enemy# 1 these days? Sure, and you’re wise to cut down on them … unless you replace them with artificial sweeteners, which appear to cause just as much weight amplification, if not more, for a variety of reasons that mostly come down to “They attain you hungrier afterward.”

Confused? Good. That means you’ve gained an accurate belief of what is a truly confusing place. Any jackass who smugly proclaims, “It’s about calories in versus calories out, beings! ” is the most ignorant of all. It’s like saying that solving violation is simple-minded because all we need is everyone to “stop doing crimes.” If they’re not stopping to consider the causes of this abrupt worldwide caloric inequality, they’re being, well, as lazy as they accuse fatty parties of being.

The post 5 Baffling Lies Society Told You About Fat People appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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