#I’m not gonna dwell on it cause I will cry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dollfaceksj · 1 year

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reminder | jjk (m)

➥ PAIRING: jungkook x fem!reader

➥ SUMMARY: Whenever he flies back into town, your doorbell is the first he rings. When he has to fly out again, your bed is the last he lies in. However, you’re not stupid. You know your ex-boyfriend, that also happens to be an up-and-coming professional boxer, Jeon Jungkook, doesn’t come to you only. Unfortunately, you have no right to be jealous, not when you’re the one that ended the relationship.

➥ GENRE: angst ⋆ smut ⋆ bit of fluff ⋆ exes with benefits

➥ CATEGORY: three-shot

➥ WARNINGS: explicit sexual content, exes, second chance, angst, fuckboy!jk, possessiveness, jealousy, exes with benefits, boxer!jk, unprotected sex(STAY SAFE), creampie, fingering, squirting, pussy slapping, oral sex (f. rec), handjob, spanking, toxicity (a lot if it), shower sex, heterosexuals (sorry), fluff if u squint, mutual pining, sooooo much pining, minors DNI

➥ WORDCOUNT: 8.7k

a/n: ck jungkook has given me brain rot and i just had to write something about it. sorry in advance.

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Change is inevitable. Everything changes. Everyone changes. You love change, though. You don’t like clinging to things and you’re always up to try out new things. You’re the one in your friend group that’s always trying new items on a menu, always checking out random music, trying different things with your hair.

Maybe it’s because of the way you’ve grown up, always taught to move on and enjoy new things because life is short. No dwelling on the past, no asking yourself ‘why me?’, no fear of change in your life. That’s exactly how you’ve always been.

So, what you have trouble understanding is how you allow yourself to be in this situation right now, a book you should’ve closed a long time ago.

With your face pressed into your wet sheets, back arched, bare ass in the air and lewd moans spilling from your lips as you get fucked into your mattress by the man you broke up with 2 years ago.

“Jungkook! Slow down, I’m gonna–”

You’re cut off by a harsh slap to your left asscheek, your teeth sinking into the bunched up sheets in front of your face as the stinging and warmth from the spank spreads through your skin. You yelp in pain yet pleasure, your fingers gripping the sheets even tighter. You usually don’t orgasm from solely penetration but the overstimulation is causing you to physically feel every single one of your nerves electrifying in your nether regions.

“Cum, then. I’ll fuck you through as many orgasms as you want.” The pace of his merciless pounding never falters and it has you seeing every celestial body in the universe every time you blink. He grunts loudly as you start clenching around him, his hand reaching for your forearm and pulling it back to press it into your back as he continues to fuck you.

Your other hand reaches behind you, pressing flat into his lower abdomen to get him to slow down but he just swats your hand away. You attempt it for a second time and this time he grabs your wrist, bringing it next to your other arm that he’s already pressing into your back, now caging both of your arms in his grasp against your back as his hips slam into your ass.

A cry rips through your throat, eyes tightly squeezing shut as you drool into the covers. Your orgasm hits you like a fucking train, the knot in your stomach snapping and your entire body heats up as if you’ve been set on fire. Your slick walls constantly clench around Jungkook’s dick, making him grunt your name alongside a few swear words. His hips stutter in their movement, speed faltering as you continue to cry out in pleasure under him.

He curses under his breath, letting go of your arms. He presses his hands down on your ass until you’re fully lying on your stomach, face still pressed into the sheets. He never pulls out, on the contrary, he continues to fuck into you as you sob under him, the overstimulation has you squirming like a fish out of water.

There’s a pressure against your upper back, one that you quickly realize is his bare chest as he leans into your ear. “I’ve missed you so much,” he breathlessly says into your ear, a soft moan following his words and you feel his dick twitch inside of you. He’s close.

“Fuck,” he grunts, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder. His thrusts start getting inconsistent and sloppy.

“Jungkook,” you sob, a sniff following your cry and it’s the final thing you know he needs to get that knot in his stomach to snap. It doesn’t take long after for him to shoot his load into you, coating your walls with his cum.

He moans in your ear softly, something you swear is the single best sound on Earth. Paired with the best feeling on Earth, having Jungkook fuck the shit out of you.

After a few more lazy thrusts, continuously fucking his load into you, he comes to a full stop. His hips are still pressed into your ass and his forehead is pressed against your shoulder.

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2 hours ago

You’re scrubbing the last of your dirty cutlery with your soapy sponge when you hear 3 soft knocks on your front door.

It’s him.

You glance at the clock that’s hung up on the wall in your kitchen, your hands automatically reaching for the kitchen towel that you slung over your shoulder when you started washing your dishes. 10:45PM. You dry your hands and neatly drape the damp kitchen towel back over the cupboard’s handle before heading into the hallway.

You peek through the peephole but it’s blackened out, already knowing who it is with the way he always presses his thumb into your peephole to keep you from seeing him. You fight the smile that’s trying to force its way onto your lips as you reach for your keys.

With a sigh, you slowly unlock your front door. Your hand pulls on the door handle, creating a bigger gap and allowing yourself to be seen as your eyes make contact with his big brown ones and his sheepish smile.

There’s a cut on his cheekbone, bags under his eyes, his long black locks pulled back into a small bun. The layers that are too short to fit into the bun frame his face so perfectly, kissing the top of his brows and tickling his temples.

Still as gorgeous as ever.

He’s wearing a black shirt and grey sweats and he’s got luggage with him, allowing you to assume he probably came here straight from the airport. He must be absolutely exhausted. Or at least jetlagged.

You cross your arms, closing your cardigan around your torso in the process. “You’re back.” It’s all you can say, really. It’s all you ever say when he’s suddenly in front of your front door every few days or weeks.

Like it’s become some kind of inside joke, an inside joke just for the two of you.

“You’re beautiful,” he says without any hesitation right after the words leave your mouth. He always replies with these exact words but it catches you off guard every single time.

He doesn’t wait for you to invite him in, he knows you’ll let him. Like you always have, like you always do, like you always will.

He struts in, kicking his shoes off his feet but neatly placing them by the door next to his luggage before returning his attention to you, his big hands finding their way to your waist as he pulls you closer. You lean back a bit to glance up at him, your thumb gently grazing the cut on his cheekbone.

He doesn’t react, just stares at you as he lets you do whatever you want. He’ll always let you do whatever you want.

Because it’s no secret that Jungkook is still in love with you.

“Does it hurt?” you ask softly, bringing the same thumb down to rub his bottom lip, peeking at him through your pretty lashes.

He shakes his head, parting his lips as he takes your thumb into his mouth and slowly circles the tip of your thumb with his warm tongue.

“You must be hungry if you came here straight from the airport. I just made some pasta, you want some?” You move your other hand up to brush some of his hair out of his face.

“Hm, I can have you for dinner as well.”

You roll your eyes and take the opportunity to take your thumb out of his mouth and pry his hands off your waist to head into the kitchen. He huffs but quickly follows you, trailing behind you like a stray kitten.

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With your empty dinner plates in front of you, your conversation goes on. He’s just staring at you, teeth nibbling on his bottom lip. It makes him look like a bunny.

“How long are you staying in town this time?” you question, already assuming since he usually stays a week or 2 before he flies out again.

“5 days.” His answer is almost immediate, like he knew you were going to ask that question. It’s only natural, though, you usually ask him that.

“How was Paris?” you ask as you reach for your glass of water and bring it to your lips, keeping eye contact with him over the rim of your glass.

“It was good.” He leans back into his chair, rubbing his stomach which he always does after dinner. “Cold, though.”

“Yeah? I bet some lucky ladies kept you warm, no?” you tease, knowing he hates talking about that with you. You watch as he cringes, adjusting in his seat as he sits straight up.

He glances at you for a moment with a slight frown on his face and then rises to his feet, gathering the dirty plates and utensils before heading into the kitchen. You’re used to him completely ignoring questions like that.

A soft sigh leaves your lips as you momentarily look out the window. You’ve always pushed him to try new things like you do, that includes moving on from you.

He simply refuses.

You need him to move on from you so you can move on from him. It’s that simple. But every single time he stands before you, it’s like he sucks all the strength to turn him down out of your body.

The water runs and you hear the clatter of dishes, assuming he’s washing them. You get up and clean the table before walking up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his back.

He dries his hands with your kitchen towel and turns around in your arms, cupping your face delicately, his pretty brown eyes scanning your features.

“Will you let me kiss you?” he quietly asks, thumb rubbing back and forth on your cheek.

He always asks this when you see him again. You always agree.

Your eyes shift from his left eye to his right repeatedly, a look of contemplation on your face. You both know that you really, really want him to, though.

Does he kiss the other people too? Does he caress their faces like he does you? Hold them so gently?

With a curt nod of your head, he finally leans down and presses his lips to yours. With your chin tilted up to meet his lips, your eyelids flutter close instantly, your heart rate picking up whilst a bubbling heat spreads through your body, starting in your stomach and growing all the way to the tips of your fingers and toes.

His lips were made to be on top of yours.

His kiss gets a bit needier, his hands holding your face so gently yet so firm, as if he’s scared to let you go. He tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss, a soft muffled sound resounding in your throat.

The wet muscle you feel poking your lip doesn’t go unnoticed by you and you happily welcome his tongue, letting him lick into your mouth. By now his kiss has gotten heavy, tongue ready to devour you and swallow you whole.

With your hands still on his waist, you squeeze him gently, wanting to feel more of him. Needing to feel more of him.

After a few more minutes of passionate making out, he pulls back and deeply inhales. He’s still holding your face, tilting it even more to make you look up at him. “Will you let me fuck you?”

He always asks this when you see him again. You always agree.

Your heart jolts in your chest at the unexpectedly expected words. If the making out didn’t already leave you soaking, those words surely did.

You quickly nod to his question. As if you’d ever decline. He drops his hands, moving one to wrap around your wrist as he starts leading you toward your bedroom.

He sneaks his arm around your waist and pushes you toward your bed again, slowly letting you down onto your mattress. You reach for your pyjama shorts and yank them down, leaving you in your tank top and panties.

He drops down onto his knees in front of the bed, dragging you to the edge of your mattress by your thighs. You softly gasp at the sudden force pulling you, propping yourself up on your elbows as you set your gaze on him between your thighs, intently.

He takes his time, bringing his index finger to your clothed sex to gently rub all over your slit. Your hips jolt up like they’ve got a mind of their own but Jungkook presses you down by your lower stomach with one hand, shaking his head.

“Let me take my time, baby. You know I’ve missed this pussy.”

The moment those words leave his mouth, you let yourself fall back on your mattress. You’re sprawled on your bed with your ex-boyfriend in between your thighs and if you told yourself at 16 that this is who you were going to be when you grow up, that girl would’ve laughed at you.

Because you don’t dwell. You don’t go back. You don’t cling to the past.

But all those thoughts instantly disappear like fog in your head the moment Jungkook presses a kiss to your clit through your panties. A soft gasp leaves your lips, your fingers tucking under the hem of your panties as you try to yank them off.

He simply chuckles as he allows you to take them off, his eyes glued to your glistening sex. He wastes no time latching his tongue onto your wetness, licking a thick stripe up your slit before wrapping his lips around your pulsating clit. He hums in delight at the taste of you.

A cry falls from your lips, your fingers making their way to the top of his skull. You tug on the loose strands that frame his perfect face so well as you grind into his mouth.

“Hm, missed me?” he purrs, pressing you back down by pushing on your pelvic bone. He slides his hands up the back of your thighs from your ass to the back of your knees, pushing them back as he continues to devour you.

Soft moans spill from your lips as you arch your back off the bed, toes curling at the sensation of your clit being sucked on with so much fervor. “Jungkook!” you cry, pressing your palms into your eyes to try and keep yourself from bursting into tears at the pleasure.

He simply hums against your sex, dark eyes peeking up at you. His tongue slides down your slit, teasing your hole before licking back up to your clit. “There’s nothing better than the taste of this pussy,” he mumbles before wrapping his lips around your clit again, gently sucking on it.

A soft moan bubbles up the back of your throat, leaving your lips which makes him smirk against your skin. “Hm, even better than your little girlfriends?” you tease. You always use the words ‘little girlfriends’ to refer to all the girls in the city he fucks besides you, all the girls he fucks overseas, all the girls he fucks that aren’t you.

He peeks up at you again, this time a frown on his brows. You steal a glance at him when you sense him looking at you, a sheepish smile on your face. He pulls back and wipes his mouth and chin with the back of his hand as he lets go of your legs and rises to his feet.

You eternally groan at the fact that made him stop fucking you with his mouth but the show he’s giving you as he removes his shirt almost makes you thankful that he did.

“Yeah. And I fucked a bunch of ‘em in Paris,” he replies as he tugs his sweatpants down his legs, kicking them somewhere across the floor.

The slight raise in your eyebrows shows that you’re surprised. Jungkook never comments on your attempts at provoking him and mentions of other women.

You just shot yourself in the foot because you really, really don’t want to imagine him fucking someone else. You usually bring it up to provoke him and he usually dismisses it but this time, he puts a vivid image in your head and you don’t like it.

You huff as you sit up on your bed, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” His response is immediate, his hand reaching for the hem of your tank top. You let him pull it off your body and allow him to ogle at your breasts.

He tosses your tank top at the growing pile of clothes on your floor before licking his thumb and bringing it to one of your nipples, rubbing circles around it with his wet thumb.

You sigh at the stimulation. “Were they good?” You can’t help but ask him this question, your voice coming out a bit choked but he doesn’t comment on it.

“They were fucking great.”

You almost bite a piece off your tongue, the entity that’s called Jealousy menacingly looming over your body and ready to devour you whole. You know you always provoke him but you only do it because he never responds.

You don’t comment further, you just reach for the hem of his boxers but he stops you. He swats your hands away and pushes you further back onto your mattress, so you scoot back whilst still sitting up right. He climbs into your bed next to you, sitting down on his ankles as he leans over you.

You place your hands behind you, leaning back on them as you glance up at him. He’s staring down at you, hand sliding up and down your thigh. With a little pressure, he spreads your thighs further apart and his fingers find their way back to your sex.

You grunt once his fingers make contact with your clit again, a tiny shiver running down your legs. You bend your legs at the knees, placing your feet on the edge of your bed and spreading your thighs further, still looking up at Jungkook who is staring you down like he wants to absolutely ruin you.

The tips of his middle and ring finger start rubbing consistent circles onto your pussy and you scrunch your eyebrows together, mouth falling open.

“Whose pussy is this?” he murmurs, fingers sliding down your slit and rubbing in between your folds. You moan softly at the sensation, thighs jerking in the process.

You quip, “Mine.” You know that’s not the answer he’s looking for, especially with the way his eyes narrow at you.

“Mad because I finally answered your stupid questions for once?” he scoffs, fingers sliding straight into you which earns a surprised gasp from you.

Your eyebrows scrunch together even more, your mouth still agape and your big eyes pleading for more. It’s the face you know Jungkook can’t resist, he usually kisses you right away.

But this time, he doesn’t. He doesn’t kiss you. He just stares you down as his hand starts slamming into your sex, fingers rubbing against your slick walls with each movement.

The lewd sound of your wetness almost embarrasses you but your mind is too clouded, his lustful eyes never leaving yours.

Before you can fathom what just happened, you yelp out in painful pleasure. Jungkook has retreated his fingers and brought his palm down with a slap to your wet pussy, making your legs jerk and your hands reach up to grab at his biceps.

“Ah!” you cry out at the sudden impact, your nose warming up and you know you’re about to start tearing up.

“I asked you a question.” His voice resounds inside your head, it almost makes the return of his fingers inside of you go unnoticed by you.

He fucks his fingers into you, palm slamming down on your clit whilst his fingers thrust in and out of you.

Moans spill from your throat as you hold onto his neck now, eyes squeezing shut at the delicious torture on your sex.

“Answer me, Y/N.”

You cry out when he slaps your pussy once again, your hips jolting under him but he pushes you down by your lower abdomen. He enters his fingers again, palm still continuously slamming down on your clit.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you manage to say without sobbing, the pleasure he’s giving you is making you dizzy.

“Bullshit,” he grunts, picking up the pace of his hand.

You want to pull his face closer by tugging on his neck but he doesn’t budge, his hand adamant on making you cum and it’s succeeding.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper, clenching around his fingers with your eyes shut tightly. You wince when he pulls his fingers out but you have no time to react when he suddenly rubs all 4 fingers in a waving motion against your clit at an incomprehensible speed.

You cry out again, squirming under him when a different kind of knot in your stomach snaps. You open your eyes just in time to watch yourself squirt all over his hand, all over your sheets, all over your floor.

All the strength in your body dissolves and you fall back against your mattress, the sensation of squirting all over your mattress still going as you writhe under him.

His torture never stops, the demonic speed in which he assaults your clit is enough to have tears bursting out of your eyesockets and the longer he keeps going, the more you keep squirting. “You gonna answer or want me to keep going?

His name falls out of your mouth in a series of sobs. “Fuck–! Yeah, I’m mad!” you admit, pushing against his arm to try and get him to finally stop.

And he does, he pulls his hand away. He takes a while to just stare you down and if you weren’t already, you’d describe the feeling as feeling naked under him.

“So then, why do you keep asking me if you know you’ll get mad?” he asks as he starts tugging his boxers down, allowing his erection to spring free. He kicks his underwear off the bed as he uses his wet hand to pump himself, essentially lubing himself up with your slick.

Not that you’d need any type of lube now, you are completely and disgustingly soaked.

You’re still on your back, trying to catch your breath when his hand slips under the back of your knee. He spreads you for him again and circles his tip all around your sensitive sex.

“Jungkook,” you warn, the effects of overstimulation making anything you say sound like a pathetic cry.

“Shhh, I know.” He pushes into you and usually circles your clit with his thumb but he doesn’t this time, for obvious reasons. You’re grateful, though. Jungkook can get pretty rough with his so-called punishments – that are absolutely sublime – but you don’t think you could take any more clit stimulation now.

He places his hands on either side of your head and leans forward, his silver chain dangling in your face. He presses a soft kiss to your lips before he pulls away to watch your face as his hips start slamming into you.

You sob his name, legs falling limb after an attempt at wrapping them around his waist. He leans down and presses his lips to your cheeks, softly kissing your tears away.

You sniffle, enjoying his proximity as he continues to fuck into you. Soft moans escape his throat too and it’s your favorite sound in the whole world. He sounds angelic. His lips retreat from your face in the meantime as he watches your face, a look of admiration on his.

“Do you kiss them as well?” you quietly whimper, sincerity in your eyes instead of the usual teaseful look.

He observes you for a moment longer, gaze dropping to your lips quickly before returning to your eyes.

You’d tease Jungkook about being with other women, something he hated and he never took the bait, and in the two years after your break up of the two of you casually having sex whenever he’s back in town, you’d never crossed the emotional territory. Because you had always taught yourself to move on, to not dwell, to not beat yourself up.

But with Jungkook, it’s just inexplicable. You want him, you need him, you breathe him.

You didn’t expect this time to be so emotional. So raw. So unchanged.

“Would kissing be worse than fucking?” he asks, dragging you out of your thoughts. You try to fight the quiver in your bottom lip but you can’t help it, your hands wrapping around each of his wrists that are caging your head in between them.

You turn your head to look away from his overwhelming gaze, pressing your lips to the side of his arm.

Out of the blue, he picks up the pace and starts fucking into you again. Several moans and cries fall from your lips, muffled by the skin of his arm. You sense his eyes on you from your peripherals but you don’t return the eye contact, you can’t. You might burst into tears. And this time it won’t be from pleasure.

He takes the opportunity to press his lips to your neck, kissing the skin under your earlobe and making his way down.

The words ‘I love you’ are stuck in your throat, threatening to blurt out. With all the strength you can gather, you swallow them down, squeezing your eyes shut tightly.

“No one will ever compare to you.” His voice is muffled from kissing your skin but you can hear him loud and clear, aside from the skin slapping and the wet sounds from your pussy being pummeled by his hips.

You shake your head in response to him, not wanting to hear that at this moment. You’ll just fall in love with him all over again and you’d rather die, you’d much rather die.

“Shut up,” you mumble after another sniffle, turning your head to face him again. He takes his lips off your throat, letting his gaze drape all over you again and it makes you feel so small.

His thrusts come to an abrupt halt, making you wince. In one swift motion, he pulls out of you with a grunt. He sits back on his ankles and gently – yet with a firm grip – turns you around onto your stomach. His hands return to your body with a tight grip around your hips, yanking your ass up into the air.

“You want to know how I fuck them? I’ll show you,” he says breathlessly as he shoves himself right back into your wetness, fingers sinking into your skin as he pounds his hips into your ass and the back of your thighs.

This is how he fucked you when you’d have an argument back when you were together, when he was mad at you, when you were acting up. He would say he didn’t want those eyes of yours looking up at him if he was fucking you with no emotion, with no warmth, with no love.

This is his way of answering your annoying questions, you suppose.

You mewl under him, your hands gripping the soaking sheets tightly to support yourself from the momentum of his thrusts. A low grunt rumbles in his chest when you clench your walls around him. His speed is almost demonic at this point, your body being sent into overdrive as your stomach tightens again.

“Jungkook! Slow down, I’m gonna–”

“Fuck,” he grunts, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder. His thrusts start getting inconsistent and sloppy.

He moans in your ear softly, something you swear is the single best sound on Earth. Paired with the best feeling on Earth, having Jungkook fuck the shit out of you.

After a few more lazy thrusts, continuously fucking his load into you, he comes to a full stop. His hips are still pressed into your ass and his forehead is pressed against your shoulder.

He pulls out and collapses onto your mattress, right next to your body. You crack one of your eyes open to peek at him. He’s on his back, the back of his hand pressed into his forehead with his eyes shut tight as he’s focused on steadying his breath.

You stare at him for a moment, captivated by his utter beauty. Your eyes trail the bridge of his nose, his pretty black lashes, his red cheeks and swollen lips. The thin layer of sweat makes him look like he’s covered in glitter, his cheeks glistening like a glazed donut, the pretty moles on his face making his soft skin look like a starry night sky.

The small cut on his cheekbone doesn’t go unnoticed by you, of course. The wound has seemingly healed but the skin around it is still purple and has some traces of yellow too. He’s way too beautiful to be fighting for a living.

You quickly avert your eyes when he opens his eyes again, staring straight at you as if he sensed you staring at him. You clear your throat awkwardly as you slowly turn onto your other side, giving him your cold back.

A finger starts drawing patterns on the bare skin of your back and you’re incapable of stopping the goosebumps from popping out of your skin. The mattress dips, telling you he’s scooting closer until he’s completely pressed up into your back.

He places his lips on your shoulder blade, not moving them, not kissing your shoulder. Just keeping them there, like they belong there, like they’re magnetized.

Neither of you say anything.

Nothing has to be said. You just enjoy the moment.

Because you know once he walks out your front door, you won’t see him until the day he has to catch another flight.

You know where he goes, you know what he does, you know how he spends the nights when he’s not with you.

He just showed you.

And you have no right to feel any way about it. You broke his heart.

Shattered his heart into so many pieces that you’re still the first one he sees when he’s back in town, you’re still the only one he actually lies with.

You’re the only one.

But you’re also not the only one.

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You stir, eyes fluttering open in the darkness of your room. It takes you a moment to gather your thoughts and recognize your surroundings. It’s then when you notice Jungkook’s tattooed arm lazily slung around your waist. Soft puffs leave his mouth, his breathing slow and very quiet snores fill up the room.

You silently reach for your phone, turning the screen to you and almost being blinded by the light of your phone. You squint as you try to figure out what time it is. 6:01AM.

You’re startled by the sudden jerk of his arm and you realize he’s waking up. With a turn of your head, you glance at him. He peeks at you through one eye, a sheepish smile on his lips.

“Sorry,” you start, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

He shakes his head, his lips puckered as he leans into your face. He places his lips on your jaw, softly kissing down your neck which awakens the goosebumps on the upper layer of your skin.

You squirm once his breath hits your neck. “That tickles,” you giggle as you scoot away from him but he doesn’t let you get too far, quickly climbing on top of you.

You turn onto your back, tired eyes staring up at him, his beautiful hair falling forward which frames his face beautifully. It’s now that you’re reminded you’re both still naked and it makes your cheeks instantly heat up. Not because you’re embarrassed but because Jungkook’s body is temptation itself.

His muscles are soft and squishy now that they’re not flexed but you know how tight and hard his body really is. Your eyes trail the contours of his pecs and biceps, at least what you can make out in the dark.

His black locks must’ve escaped the elastic that kept his hair together in a bun whilst he was sleeping. Your hands automatically reach up, running your fingers through his beautiful hair to push it out of his face. “It’s getting quite long, hm?” you muse, ruffling through it in the meantime.

He lets you, of course, a soft chuckle leaving his throat as you play with his hair.

“You don’t like it?” he quips, teeth nibbling on his bottom lip. You can hear the attempt at making it sound like a joke but you know him well enough to know he values your opinion about him.

Your tongue slides over your teeth from left to right, fighting your smirk. “Are you crazy? I love it.” You tug the hair on the back of his head, smirking when he hisses at the grip you have on him.

He pokes your rib which makes you release his hair, a quiet yelp leaving your lips at the feeling. “What time is it?” he mumbles as he buries his face in the crook over your neck, leaving wet pecks all over your skin.

“6 in the fucking morning,” you groan as you squeeze his waist, nails grazing his skin gently, rubbing patterns on his exposed skin.

He grunts as he pulls away from your neck, rolling off of you in the meantime. Your eyes are greeted with his bare back as he sits up in your bed, your hand automatically tracing the back muscles he’s putting on display for you. “I should leave, Yoongi-hyung needs me to go take new photos for my passport,” he mumbles as he lazily rubs his face.

Your eyebrows raise at the mention of Jungkook’s coach-slash-manager, Min Yoongi. You haven’t seen him since the breakup. “Already?” you ask as you crawl toward him. “Can’t you stay a little while longer?” You press your bare chest into his back and wrap your arms around his waist, pressing soft kisses to his earlobe.

His hands automatically move up to yours on his chest, bringing one of your hands up to his lips to press a kiss to it. “I was supposed to do it yesterday because I ran into some trouble at the airport. I have to fly to Australia in a couple of days.” He peels your hands off his body and gets up, pulling you up with him.

“Let’s go take a shower, we passed out in all that shit,” he laughs as he nods towards the big wet patch, right where you squirted. You’re instantly reminded of the fact you both passed out right after that intense fuck session, you didn’t even clean up after yourself. Gross.

You wince in disgust and scrunch your nose up as you nod quickly, swinging your legs off the bed and placing your feet on the floor. You stand up and let him lead you to your bathroom, he could do it blindfolded – obviously, he used to live here.

You awkwardly wobble to the bathroom, the load he fucked into you last night threatening to spill out of you with each step you take.

You switch the lights on and let him close the door behind you, trapping you against it in between his arms. He takes this opportunity to kiss you softly, catching you off guard by the sudden affection.

You welcome his kiss nonetheless, your hands roaming all over his shoulders and squeezing his muscles. You can’t get enough of him.

He abruptly pulls away and rubs your bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, something unfamiliar pooling in his dark eyes as he stares you down. He parts his lips and it looks like he’s about to say something but he doesn’t. He closes his mouth and takes a step back, turning around and reaches for the lever to let the water run before he enters the shower.

A frown climbs onto your brows but you don’t comment on it. You won’t push him to talk. You quietly follow him, simply just getting into the shower and sliding the glass door shut. You cross your arms nervously as you wait for the water to heat up.

Jungkook is already used to cold showers so he hops right under, letting the droplets of water trickle down his honey skin. You reach out to him, suddenly getting the urge to slap his buttcheek, and you do.

He grunts as he glares at you over his shoulder, his buttcheeks clenching in response. You laugh as you reach for the body wash, squirting a generous amount onto your palm before you rub your hands all over his back. It’s almost like it happens automatically, he always used to ask you if you could wash his back for him.

You rub down to his buttcheeks and he whines your name childishly, making you laugh loudly. “Come on, you know I love your booty,” you tease, reaching around his waist from the back to grope his pecs.

He throws his head back in exasperation but he can’t help but chuckle, the lukewarm water finally hitting your skin. You sigh as you hold onto him, feeling his heart drum against your palm.

It’s quiet for a moment, the sound of the water hitting your bodies and the tiles filling up your eardrums. That is, until Jungkook breaks the silence.

“Have you been with anyone?” he quietly asks. The sudden question knocks the air out of your lungs for a moment because he has never asked this before in the 2 years you’ve been broken up.

Your heartbeat stutters in your chest and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he could feel your heart thumping against his back.

“Yeah.”

Jungkook’s body tenses under your skin and it isn’t long until he turns around to face you, a blank expression on his face but he doesn’t say anything.

“Do you know how it feels knowing you’re overseas fucking other people? Even when you’re here,” you explain in a panic, heart racing as he just stares you down intently.

“You’re the one that walked out on me, Y/N.”

His words sting.

“You know why I did that, Jungkook,” you whisper, tearing your gaze away from him as you pull your arms away from him to rub your own arms in an attempt to comfort yourself.

He huffs, “Yeah, and it was bullshit.”

Your head snaps back in his direction, anger bubbling in your chest and threatening to burst out of your throat in a pathetic cry. “What’s that supposed to mean, you dickhead?”

“Exactly what you think it means.” He nonchalantly shrugs, looking away from you for a moment as he rinses the bodywash. “Breaking up with me because I was ‘gone all the time’ and had a ‘dangerous job’, but you’re still here. You still let me hold you, you still let me kiss you, you still let me fuck you.”

You scoff, pushing against his chest but he doesn’t budge. You spin on your heels and reach out to the glass door of the shower, ready to make your exit but Jungkook is quicker. He doesn’t let you.

He pulls you back by your bicep, tugging on it until your back meets his chest. “You’re not going to rob me of the little time I have with you,” he mumbles as he wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Let go.”

“No.” His reply is instantaneous, arms strongly caging you in.

You blink back the tears threatening to fall, his proximity enough to calm you down yet drive you crazy. You shake your head and begin, “Jungkook, I–”

“I’ll always want you, Y/N. Just say the words.”

You freeze, breath hitching in the back of your throat. You already know this. Jungkook doesn’t shy away from telling you about his feelings and reminds you every once in a while.

Before you can let your mind wander even more, you’re turned around by his strong arms in one swift motion, both his hands moving up to cup your face.

He tilts your face to make you look at him but you stay quiet. The words he’s yearning for you to say never come.

“Kiss me,” you whimper, not able to take this silence and not in the mood for a staring competition.

He doesn’t waste any time, he instantly leans down and presses his lips against yours whilst slowly pushing you backwards until your back collides with the cold tiles.

You deepen the kiss, your hands roaming his chest as he licks into your mouth. A grunt resounds in the back of your throat at the feeling of his hand slowly making its way down your waist, to your hip, to finally your bum.

He grabs a handful of your asscheek, squeezing it and it elicits a lewd moan from you. It doesn’t take long for you to feel his growing erection inflating against your lower stomach and you reach for it.

You pump him slowly, making him grunt into your mouth. You rub your thumb all over his tip, gathering his precum and spreading it all over the head of his dick.

He pulls away from the kiss, his head dropping to your shoulder as you continue to pleasure him. His hand continues to knead your asscheek, a low swear word escaping his lips.

“Look at me,” you whisper, hand still jerking him off at a torturously slow pace.

He lifts his head off your shoulder slowly and let’s his eyes meet yours, head tilted downwards as he towers over you.

“How does it feel, knowing I did this with another man?” you ask him, a clear attempt at provoking him as you peek at him through your pretty lashes.

Something between an angry scowl and a confused frown etches onto his face and he merely grunts in response. His hand stops kneading your asscheek and before you know it, he’s turned you around, your front pressed into the tiles.

You’ve let go of his dick, hands now on each side of your breasts against the tiles in front of you. Your cheek is pressed against it as well, head turned enough to see him over your shoulder.

“I don’t want to hear about that fucking garbage,” he grunts, his hand pressed flat against the spot in between your shoulder blades as he holds you against the wall firmly.

You huff, but before you know it, his hand comes down to your asscheek in a powerful slap. It makes you jolt under his hold, a yelp ripping through your throat.

He spreads your asscheeks and slowly rubs the tip of his dick between your folds, earning a moan from you and you relax under his touch.

He pushes into you, eliciting a gasp from you at the intrusion. The delicious burn makes you arch your back more. He doesn’t really wait, he just starts slamming his hips into you, a series of cries and moans falling from your lips.

“Gonna fuck me like one of your hoes again?” you snark in between moans. Another slap to your asscheek makes you grunt and you look over your shoulder at him again.

He doesn’t even look at you, just snakes his hand around your face and drapes his palm over your mouth as he peels your face off the tiles and toward him, making you arch your back even more.

He continues to fuck angrily into you. “I fucking hate you,” he grunts, eyes glued to his dick disappearing inside of you.

You moan into his palm, eyes rolling back as the head of his dick repeatedly kisses your cervix. “Jungkook–!”

His other hand grips onto your waist, keeping you steady as he pounds into you. The strength in his hand has you seeing stars, if he put just a little more strength into it, you’re convinced he could crack your ribs.

“Come with me to Australia,” he whispers in your ear, lips softly brushing against the shell.

You close your eyes as you listen to his words. He’s often offered to take you with him, offered any way to keep seeing you, to keep being with you, to still have you.

“Please,” he whispers in desperation, the hand on your waist moving down to your sex as he furiously rubs your clit.

You cry into his hand, squirming and writhing under him but he has you under control. His thrusts never falter in speed and it has your eyes rolling back as you recognize the familiar knot in your stomach growing.

“Am gonna cum,” you whimper into his palm, but he doesn’t comment as he continues to destroy you.

He presses a kiss to the back of your ear, teeth gently nibbling on your earlobe and you slowly start losing control.

Your entire body is set alight, his hand leaving your mouth so he can listen to your pretty moans for him. Your orgasm comes to you like a punch to the gut, your eyes shutting tightly as pure bliss takes over you. You squirm under him, hips involuntarily jolting and knees buckling.

Both his hands return to your waist as he continues to fuck into you, wanting to get to his own release.

You’re fucked out, pressing your cheek against the tiles as moans continue to spill from your lips.

It doesn’t take long after for Jungkook to cum, shooting his release straight into you as he moans your name softly into your ear alongside a few swear words, which you’ve grown used to.

His thrusts get inconsistent, his breaths heavy and his grip on you loosens until he comes to a complete stop.

You stay there, mind clouded with nothing but Jungkook.

You’d considered going with him often but being on planes and having jet lag every few days wasn’t your dream, it was his. And while you would give up your life for him, you didn’t want him giving up his life for you. You know he’d start taking less fights, training, matches just to please you, to be with you, to love you.

He quietly pulls out but you don’t budge. When he notices, he takes it upon himself to clean you up, draping the showerhead over you, washing your body, your hair, his body, his hair.

The rest of the shower is quiet.

Not a single word was spoken.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

You both get dressed in silence, the occasional clinking of metal and ruffling of fabric being the only sounds in the room.

After he’s fully dressed and you’re back in your comfortable pajamas, you head down the corridor with him closely following behind you.

A soft exhale pushes past your lips when you unlock your front door as he puts his shoes on. You suddenly slouch, pressing your forehead against the front door. You think about the situation for a moment, the ruffling of him putting his shoes on being the only thing you hear.

“What?” he asks once he straightens his back and sees you looking out of it.

You push yourself off the door, turning to glance at him before momentarily looking away. “What are we doing, Jungkook?”

“What are you talking about?”

“This is not right.” You shake your head, your hand moving up to adjust the earring in your earlobe. “Why do you keep showing up at my front door?”

You’d never asked him that before so he’s surprised, the slight raise in his eyebrows being proof of that.

His brown eyes stare you down, a look of contemplation on his face before he takes a step closer to you – making your heartbeat mess up its perfectly fine pace.

“Why do you keep opening it for me?”

He knows he’s got you, that much is clear. You’re at fault as much as he is. You know you shouldn’t keep letting him in but you do and you always will. You’ll always want him.

He reaches for the door handle but you make no effort to move out of his way, essentially letting him cage you in between him and the door.

You really don’t want him to go.

You prepare to speak, clearing your throat in hopes that your voice doesn’t give out. “I’m trying to forget about you. You know that.”

His gaze burns holes in your irises, a whimper threatening to burst from your throat at the intensity. He leans down and presses his lips to yours in a quick kiss but pulls away too quickly for you, your lips chasing his for a split second before you realize he has already pulled away.

“I will never let you forget about me.”

The words leave his mouth with a certain arrogance yet desperation before he pulls you toward him by your waist. You think he’s going to kiss you again but he’s simply pulling you out of the way, to allow himself to open the door and leave.

And he does, your sad eyes intently watching as he exits your once-shared home and closes the door behind him, luggage in hand.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

⇠ PREV. ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ NEXT ⇢

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mrs-dr-reid · 1 month

Text

Scary Dog Privilege

(A Wolverine Fic)

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Mutant!Fem!Reader

Summary: The reader practically begs Logan to be her fake boyfriend at a gala, but ends up getting more than she bargained for

Genre: Fluffy throughout, a teensy bit angsty near the end, and a dash of "oh my god, just KISS ALREADY!!!" sprinkled in pretty much everywhere

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive language, fake boyfriend trope, friends to lovers, oblivious idiots in love, more than platonic touches, tw food/alcohol, crying, protective!Logan, the image of Logan in a tux (yes, that's a warning), Tony Stark being... himself, a Hugh Jackman-sized Wolverine and an average/small reader (size difference, yaaaaay)

A/N: Big thanks to @snixkers for being my designated Wolvie Beta Reader, as well as a handful of buddies in my writers discord for helping me turn the head words into page words (you know who you are).

Word Count: 4419

———————————————————————

This is going to be a disaster, Y/N thought as she stared hopelessly at the event notification on her phone: Superhero Gala tonight!!!

It was her least favorite day of the year, even though on paper it was a good thing. All of the Avengers and all the X-Men getting together and hosting a gala fundraiser to raise money for a different cause every year, as well as “celebrate the spirit of collaboration among heroes” or whatever preachy bullshit Charles is always on about.

She just knew that she’d inevitably be stuck getting hit on by drunken aristocratic strangers in a dress she didn’t want to be wearing, just like every other year. She’d much rather be honing her abilities or reading a book, but attendance was mandatory for every adult living at the mansion, much to her chagrin.

Y/N paced the length of her bedroom, worrying about her certain doom, when she got an idea. It wasn’t a very good idea, but it was better than no idea at all. She stuffed her phone in her back pocket, then ventured down to the kitchen where she was hoping she’d find who she was looking for, and she was right.

Logan was sitting at the island munching on a piece of toast and nursing a flask of what she assumed was whiskey, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it. She said, “Howlett, I need to talk to you in private.”

Logan looked up from his breakfast and said, “Good morning to you too, L/N,” mostly unbothered by her request.

Y/N rolled her eyes and said, “NOW, please.”

He raised a hand in surrender and said, “Alright, Bossy Pants,” before following her into the other room away from the prying ears of Jean, Scott, and Ororo.

Once they were out of earshot, Y/N said, “Okay, I’m gonna ask you to do something kinda weird, but I promise if you do it, I’ll never ask you for anything else ever again.”

Logan raised a questioning eyebrow at her. “Okay?”

She took a deep breath. “I need you to be my scary dog privilege tonight at the gala.”

The request hung in the air between them as Logan tried to process what the hell she just said to him. “You need me to be your what?”

Y/N sighed exasperatedly, then elaborated. “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend so the sleazy rich assholes leave me alone!” before steepling her hands and giving him her best puppy dog pout.

Logan wasn’t swayed, and he crossed his arms. “Why me? Couldn’t you ask McCoy?” Y/N glared at him, annoyed that he was being so difficult.

“Yes, I could ask Hank, but Hank is a teddy bear! You’re tall, you’re intimidating, it’s somewhat believable that we’d be together, and you have claws. And if you don’t do this, I promise you that if even one slimeball approaches me, I will use the ‘what not to do’ section of the Geneva Convention as a to-do list! So will you be my fake boyfriend or not?!”

Both of Logan’s eyebrows went up at this, and he said, “As entertainin’ as that would be, Chuck would probably ground you for committin’ war crimes against a civilian,” before starting to walk back to the kitchen.

In a panic, Y/N blabbed, “I’ll smuggle in cigars and booze for you for a month!” which stopped him in his tracks. Gotcha, Wolvie.

He turned back around, let out a groan in the back of his throat at the hopeful smile on Y/N’s face, then said, “Fine. But just this once,” before sticking out a hand to shake. She grinned, then shook his hand, trying her best to not think about how his hand completely engulfed hers or how warm and rough it was.

That evening, Logan was waiting at the bottom of the stairs alongside Scott for Jean and Y/N to come down, both men in sharp black tuxedos.

Scott said, “So, you’re L/N’s date tonight, huh?” with a shit-eating grin on his face, so Logan rolled his eyes, tugging at the collar of her dress clothes slightly. “She made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Literally. If I refused, she was gonna kill the first stranger who told her she was pretty.”

Scott chuckled. “Yeah, sounds about right.” Then he fell silent, so Logan followed his gaze and tried to ignore the weird tug in the pit of his stomach when he saw Y/N trailing behind Jean. She looked like a completely different person than the woman he bantered with every day.

Her hair fell in a halo of perfect waves around her shoulders, her makeup was done to perfection, diamond studs decorated her ears, and her dress… oh, that dress.

While its rhinestone-encrusted fabric covered every inch of her body except her collarbone and her hands, it hugged every curve like it was made especially for her (and it probably was). The slight padding of the shoulders and the emerald green hue made her look almost ethereal, and the matching shoes he could see peeking out from under the hem with every step she took added to the effect, though he wasn’t sure why.

Y/N stopped in front of him. “Well, you clean up nice, Howlett,” and adjusted his tie (which just so happened to match her dress). That snapped him out of his reverie before he cleared his throat. “You too, L/N. Shall we?”

He offered her his arm, and she took it. “Let’s get this over with,” before letting him lead her into the ballroom.

After he had initially agreed to this admittedly crazy scheme, Logan and Y/N had gone over different forms of PDA that they were each comfortable with. Y/N had told Logan that he could do whatever he needed to do to sell it, whereas he was more hesitant to give her carte blanche, only allowing lingering arm and shoulder touches or a kiss on the cheek if the situation desperately called for it.

Logan instantly clocked the bar the second they stepped foot inside, and before he could say anything, Y/N quipped, “I need to be drunk half an hour ago, let’s move,” and started pulling him towards the bar, causing him to let out a snort as he allowed her to drag him along.

He ordered a whiskey on the rocks while she stuck with a vodka soda, and after they were given their drinks, Logan said, “Say what you want about Stark. At least he has the decency to spring for an open bar, and it’s the good shit,” while swirling the liquid in his glass.

Y/N snickered and said, “I’ll drink to that.” She held her glass up for cheers, and Logan clinked his glass against hers, then downed about half of his whiskey in one swig.

Y/N had to blink to rid the image of his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed from her mind, then she downed her drink as well. “Well, we better go find Charles and the others.”

He nodded in agreement, then put a hand at the small of her back as they ventured into the center of the room. Y/N spotted Charles amongst a circle of Avengers and X-Men including Captain America, Black Widow, and Iron Man as well as Hank, Scott, Jean, and Rogue. The two of them approached the circle, and Y/N said, “Partying hard or hardly partying?”

Charles looked away from the tall, blond man Y/N recognized from last year as Steve Rogers at the sound of her voice, then said, “Ah! There you two are! Logan, Y/N, I’m sure you remember Captain Rogers, Miss Romanoff, and Mr. Stark from last year’s benefit,” and gestured between them.

Y/N smiled and said, “Of course. It’s great to see you again,” while shaking each of their hands, earning a “Likewise” from Steve, a nod from Natasha, and a smirk from Tony. He was surely about to say something lewd, but Logan stuck his hand out to shake just in time. “Mighty nice of ya to foot the bill on some decent booze, Stark,” his arm snaking protectively around Y/N’s waist.

If Charles and the other X-Men didn’t clock it, which was highly unlikely, they thankfully said nothing about it, but Tony recovered quickly enough that it wasn’t necessary anyway. He shook Logan’s hand and said, “Of course. Only the best for the best, amiright?” before shooting a wink in Y/N’s direction.

Logan bristled slightly, so Y/N took that as an opportunity to place a hand on his chest and say, “Lo, I believe I was promised a dance?” raising her eyebrows pointedly at him.

He said, “Right, yeah, absolutely, Doll Face. Nice seeing you again, but duty calls. Boyfriend duty, that is,” nodded at Steve and Natasha, then shot an almost gloating wink in Tony’s direction before giving Y/N his arm and whisking her off to the dance floor.

As they left, Y/N swore she heard Scott whisper incredulously, “‘Boyfriend’’?!” and Jean smack him in the chest, which made her stomach flip slightly at the thought that only Scott questioned the arrangement.

As they reached the dance floor, Y/N took note of the string quartet a few paces from the floor. “Open bar, and live entertainment? That Stark sure knows how to throw a party.”

Logan rolled his eyes and huffed, “If he took hints as good as he threw parties, then we’d be in business,” before he remembered that he wasn’t actually Y/N’s boyfriend, and there was no reason for him to be that pissed. So why was he?

Y/N said, “He’s the outlier in this situation. I’ve clocked at least eight different guys that have made to come talk to me, but immediately backtracked once they noticed you standing right next to me. I should bribe you to be my scary dog privilege more often!”

He just scoffed. “Yeah, yeah, don’t hold your breath,” but there was still a hint of a smile on his face as they joined the other couples waiting for the next song.

The musicians took up their instruments and began playing again, so Logan extended a hand to Y/N and said, “May I have this dance?” while raising a teasing eyebrow at her. She smiled, then took it and replied, “You may.”

He grinned before spinning her into his arms, a peal of laughter escaping her as she collided with his solid chest in a very ungraceful manner.

She giggled, “Logan!” He shrugged and said, “Gotta keep you on your toes somehow, don’t I?” neither of them acknowledging that she used his first name.

They kept dancing, Logan periodically making comments about the people around them just to hear her melodic laughter, and to any outsider, they looked just like any other couple; young (or seemingly young in Logan’s case) and in love, even though that wasn’t the case.

When the song ended, Y/N let out a breathless sigh and said, “I’m gonna go get a drink. Do you want anything?”

Logan held up a hand and said, “Nah, I’ve got all night to drink Stark outta house and home. Thank you, though.” Y/N nodded with a smile, then went to head for the bar, but Logan stopped her with a hand on her waist.

He said, “Hang on a sec, Doll,” then held her chin in place with his first two fingers and brushed some rogue strands of hair away from her face before murmuring, “There we go. Perfect.”

Y/N fought to keep a blush from staining her cheeks as she thanked him, then she scampered away to the bar after telling him she’d be back soon, hoping to god he didn’t notice the spike in her heart rate.

She reached the bar and ordered another vodka soda, somewhat breathlessly. As she waited, she ended up overanalyzing all that had transpired thus far, and she couldn’t make sense of any of it. Logan’s protectiveness around someone he knew wasn’t a threat? Going out of his way to play the Boyfriend Card in front of their teammates and collaborators? The pet names? The way he’s been looking at her since they stepped foot inside the ballroom?

As she was going through all of this, an unfamiliar man sidled up next to her at the bar and tried to strike up a conversation, much to Y/N’s dismay.

“Hey there, I’m Jeffrey. Did they give you a name to go with that pretty face?” and she just barely contained a gag/cringe combo before telling him her name. He smiled a bit too wide to be genuine, then said, “Can I order you a drink?” so she said, “I already ordered. And I promised my boyfriend I’d come find him as soon as I got it, so…,” and craned her neck to search for the bartender.

Jeffrey scoffed.“Some boyfriend he is, letting a lady like you wander off by herself.” That made Y/N inhale sharply. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and he’s well aware of that,” she said curtly, silently daring him to say one more stupid thing so she could knock him into next month.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak again, his voice faltered and his eyes trailed up to someone much taller than her. She didn’t have the chance to turn around before the familiar scent of pine, whiskey, and tobacco filled her nostrils and a pair of lips pressed a kiss to her jaw.

Logan husked out right next to her ear, “Hey, Baby. Thought you were gonna come find me once you got your drink. Dinner’s about to start.” One of his hands slid around to rest against her stomach protectively, so she placed a hand on his arm and said, “I was! It just got busy, I guess. We had the home-front advantage earlier,” trying to pretend like she wasn’t silently losing her mind over what he’d just done and praying to whatever deity existed that he couldn’t smell her body’s reaction to what had just occurred.

She turned her head to look at him, and he smiled at her before nodding his head in Jeffrey’s direction and saying, “Who’s this punk?”

She shot a quick glare at the man in question, then looked back up at Logan. “Just someone who is very lucky you showed up when you did,” she said with a smile before going up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

The bartender arrived with her drink not a moment too soon, and as she grabbed it, said, “It was nice to meet you, Jeffrey,” and then let Logan lead her back to their designated table, choosing to ignore how Logan looked over his shoulder and snarled at the man as they walked away.

Dinner thankfully went off without any hitches, but since Y/N and Logan were seated next to each other, the constant whiffs she got of Logan's unique (and intoxicating) musk whenever he so much as shifted in his chair were driving her insane. Not to mention the absentminded circles he was drawing on her leg under the table, which he didn’t need to do since nobody could see.

Just as she thought she’d be able to beeline it to somebody’s office or the bathroom or anywhere else to hide, Jean pulled her aside while asking to talk to her in private, making her think a string of expletives that she was well aware Jean could still hear as she allowed herself to be dragged to an unoccupied corner of the ballroom.

Once they were away from listening ears, Jean said, “Okay, what is going on between you and Logan? Yesterday you were threatening to shove him off the roof, and now you two are all over each other! And don’t even try to lie,” while raising a questioning eyebrow. Y/N let out a petulant whine, but Jean shot her a look that Y/N liked to call “The Mom Glare”, so she let out a loud sigh and explained everything, her voice growing more hysterical with every word:

“Okay, I bribed Logan into being my fake boyfriend for the night to keep the creeps away, and I told him to do whatever he needed to do so people would believe it, but I realized that I like what he’s been doing way too much for us to be just friends, and I’m losing my goddamn mind, Jean!”

Jean put her hands on Y/N’s arms to ground her and said, “Whoa, calm down. What exactly has he done that’s got you so worked up?” Y/N let out a mildly panicked laugh, then said, “For starters, if he was within arms reach of me, his hands were on me. He was being super protective of me in front of Tony even though we all know he could snap the Tin Man like a toothpick if he wanted to. He kissed me on the jaw earlier when some sleazeball was hitting on me by the bar, then snarled at him as we walked away. And to top it off, he was drawing circles on my leg under the table at dinner, and I’m not convinced he realized he was doing it, because I did nothing to stop him. Ugh, this is so complicated!”

Jean made a confused face at this. “Why does it have to be complicated? You two clearly have feelings for each other that are more than platonic. And if I may, he agreed to this crazy scheme of yours, didn’t he? At least some part of him feels the same way about you.” This earned another whine from Y/N.

She started rambling, “I don’t want this to change our relationship! I mean, yeah, I’ve had a crush on him for years because I’m not blind, but we’re just friends! And we’ve always been just friends! We bust each other's chops, we affectionately threaten each other with violence, we smuggle contraband into the school for each other even though Charles absolutely knows we’re doing it, so there’s literally no reason for us to be so secretive about it. I can’t just throw that away because I’m in love with him!”

Unfortunately, she didn’t notice Jean’s face pale or her attempts to get her to stop talking until a familiar deep voice said, “You’re in love with me?”

Y/N’s blood ran cold, and she turned around to see Logan standing there with a confused expression on his face. Her stomach clenched, and she said meekly, “How much of that did you hear?” hoping he wouldn’t say what she thought he was going to say, and bracing herself for the worst.

“Everything after ‘complicated’.” Fuck.

A whimper escaped her throat, and she heard Jean scamper off behind her. She sighed and whispered, “Shit,” squeezing her eyes shut in embarrassment. Logan made to move towards her, but Y/N recoiled from him and said, “Don’t!”, before side-stepping him and sprinting out of the ballroom as fast as her wildly impractical attire would allow her, ignoring the concerned calls of her name from her fellow X-Men.

Y/N knew Logan would catch up to her eventually, but for the moment, the only thing on her mind was getting as far away from the ballroom and him as possible. She ended up in the hedge maze, and she fell onto a stone bench to catch her breath, but all too soon she heard Logan yelling her name.

She ignored him, then proceeded to bury her face in her hands and cry due to the sheer irony of the situation: She was hiding in a stupid hedge maze from the only man she’s ever wanted because she can’t bring herself to face him.

Logan rounded the corner a few moments later, and the second he saw her on the bench and heard her sniffling, he knelt before her. “Hey, don’t cry, Sweetheart.” He gently pulled her hands away from her face.

Y/N just shook her head and whispered, “I can’t do this, Logan,” through her tears, making Logan’s eyebrows furrow before he said, “Can’t do what, Darlin’?” and went to wipe her cheek with his thumb, but it was too much for her to take.

Y/N flinched away from his touch and sobbed out, “This! The pet names, the tender touches, you looking at me like that! I can’t go back to just friends after everything that’s happened tonight, I can’t! If you’re gonna let me down, please just let me down gently because it’s the only way I can bear losing you!”

A fresh flood of tears blurred her vision enough that she couldn’t see his face, and she tried to get up to run back to her room or anywhere else where she could lock the door and try to pretend like this whole night was just a bad dream, but Logan’s hands shot out to hold her in place. “Y/N, who said anything about letting anybody down or losing me?”

Y/N startled at the sound of her first name coming out of his mouth, and she blinked back her tears to find him looking at her so tenderly she thought she was going to melt into the grass below her. Logan cupped her face in his hand and said,

“From the day that I met you, I knew I needed to find a way to keep you in my life. For a while, that was by being your friend. But only being your friend isn’t enough for me anymore. I need you more than I’ve ever needed anyone in my entire life.” His thumb stroked her cheek comfortingly as he spoke.

Y/N giggled through her tears, and she said, “That’s a long ass time, Wolvie.”

He chuckled back and said, “My point exactly, Doll,” squeezing her knee for emphasis. Y/N looked down at the ground and said, “You’re gonna get grass stains on your pants.”

Logan raised an eyebrow challengingly before bracing his hands on the bench on either side of her and purposely grinding his knees into the grass, pulling a shocked laugh from her. “Logan Howlett!”

He chuckled at her admonishing tone, then leaned in to press his forehead against hers and murmured, “It stopped being pretend for me the moment you came downstairs in this dress,” as he ran a hand down her leg to fiddle with the hem of her dress.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, and she whispered, “You had me at ‘hey, baby’.” For a moment they just stared at each other, but Logan’s resolve broke when she breathed his name, and he surged forward to capture her lips in a desperate kiss that said everything words couldn’t then.

His tongue ran along the seam of her lips, and she let him in without hesitation as she gripped the back of his jacket and he held her against his chest like she’d disappear if he let go. Y/N could have stayed in his embrace forever, and Logan could have kept her like that indefinitely.

Unfortunately, humans need oxygen to live, so Y/n pulled her lips away to at least attempt to catch her breath, but Logan had other plans.

He trailed his kisses down her jaw to her neck, and his hand started roaming around her back to find the zipper of her dress, but Y/N put a hand to his chest to stop him and said, “You better take me on a real date before you try something like that, Howlett.” He buried his face in her shoulder and groaned disappointedly.

Y/N giggled, then said, “As far as I know, the gala doesn’t end for another few hours,” to which Logan leaned back so he was sitting on his heels.

“I think I like where your head's at, Princess,” a smirk crossing his face before he jumped to his feet, scooped her up bridal style, and started jogging back to the mansion, his heart swelling at her squeal of laughter and how her arms tightened around his neck.

Logan set Y/N down outside of the ballroom, then held out his hand and said, “Ready, Darlin’?”

She smiled and said, “Always, Big Guy,” before lacing her fingers with his and walking into the room, where seemingly every Avenger and X-Man was standing and waiting with bated breath.

Y/N bit her lip and looked up at Logan, who let out a resigned sigh and said, “Ahhhh, fuck it,” before sweeping her into a dip and kissing the life out of her, an eruption of shocked laughter, wolf whistles, and applause coming from the gathering of heroes, making Y/N smile against his lips and cup his face in her hand.

When he pulled his lips away, Logan murmured, “I’m in love with you, too. Didn’t get to say it earlier,” making Y/N snark, “Oh, really? I never would have guessed,” before giggling and reconnecting their lips, Logan chuckling as he held her even closer.

Scott hollered teasingly, “Hey, lovebirds! Mind wrapping it up?! We’ve got places to be!”

Both Logan and Y/N simultaneously flipped him off while they stayed engrossed in each other.

“Yeah, fair enough,” Scott said, making Jean laugh at him. Logan eventually stood Y/N up again, then said, “Hey, Stark, is there any good shit left? I don’t know about you, but I finally got the girl, and I feel like celebrating.” As he spoke, he shot a wink at Y/N solely to make her blush.

Tony said, “Absolutely!” A waiter came over with two glasses of champagne, and even Y/N could tell that it was high-quality stuff just from the smell.

Logan held his glass towards her, then said, “To you and me, Darlin’.” Y/N clinked her glass against his in cheers and said, “You and me, Bubba,” everyone cheering as Logan kissed her temple.

As an avid romance novel reader, she probably should have seen this coming, but she couldn’t really bring herself to care about anything else besides the comforting feeling of Logan’s arm around her waist and the knowledge that he was all hers for as long as she wanted him, which was forever.

———————————————————————

MCU Taglist: @libraryofloveletters

Let me know in the comments if you want to be added

#logan writes #logan howlett x reader fluff #extended avengers cameo because i said so

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enhaheeseung · 11 months

Text

Come back to me - L.HS

Pairing: heeseung X fem reader!

Warnings: angst, crying, divorce, heartbreak.

WC: 1,571k

Part four

“Okay,” heeseung sighed as he straightened his tie, looking at himself in the mirror one last time before heading out for work.

Today was the day he was going to give you the divorce papers and finally come to terms with everything for real this time, no talking to himself, no more holding onto pictures, no pretending that you were still there.

Nothing.

He packed up his briefcase and put the papers in a separate file. He was gonna drop them off to you after work. Hopefully, you were home cause he just wanted to see you one last time while he was still officially your husband and you were his wife.

He went in early so he could keep his mind occupied with something other than you.

For the first four hours of his work shift, it worked, but as the clock struck closer to 5, his whole entire body was filled with nervousness and anxiety.

The meeting he had would have definitely gone better if he wasn’t sweating and stuttering the whole way through it, but he hopes he was able to make a good enough impression so he could do future business with them.

After that meeting, though he knew he wouldn’t be able to carry himself as confidently as he once used to, the divorce was getting to him in the worst way possible, just normal daily tasks he found difficult to complete the passion he had for work no longer there and don’t even get him started on his home life.

He prays that you are taking things better than he is.

He was all packed up and ready to go an hour before his shift ended cause as soon as it was go time, he wanted to bolt out of that building as soon as possible so he could see you after all this time.

The messed up part about this all was that he convinced himself that he was just going to give you the papers so you could finalize the divorce, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was just using it as an opportunity to see you.

Although he didn’t dwell on it, he just concluded he was killing two birds with one stone and went ahead with his original plan.

“Me, you jay bar?” Jake waltzed into Heeseung’s office, inviting him out for a drink cause it was the weekend.

“Can’t I have some business to tend to?” he politely declined.

Jake knew this could be taken as rude, but he was curious, so he went along and asked it anyway. “So are you really, you know… getting a divorce?”

Heeseung merely nods his head, the faint outline of a smile on his lips as he gathers his belongings.

Jake stands there stunned, mouth opening and closing to try and say something comforting, but nothing comes out. He really thought you guys might have worked things out, given Heeseung’s seemingly good mood lately, but apparently not. “I’m sorry. I thought things were better 'cause you seemed happy,” he trails off.

“I understand,” he sighs, throwing his suit jacket over his shoulder. “But I have a job, I have a life, and it’d be very unprofessional for me to show up depressed and sad all the time so this,” he points to his face, pretending to smile. “Is what you get?” the fake smile quickly drops from his face, returning to a frown as he turns off the office lights and walks past his friend. “Forget the bar. It’ll always be there. She won’t.” he pats Jake on his arm before leaving the office and heading straight for your new home.

Heeseung hadn’t felt this nervous since your guy's wedding. He was sitting out in his car for at least five minutes, pondering on what he should do.

Ultimately, he unbuckled his belt, grabbing the folder from his suitcase, and walked up to the steps, knocking softly on the door. The hopeful part of him wishes that you’d answer, but the guilty part wishes that Sunghoon would answer instead.

He took a deep breath, tittering back and forth on his feet anxiously. Not even a minute later, there you were, standing in front of him, leaving him completely speechless, just like you did when he saw you walking down the aisle on your wedding day.

You stare back at him just as speechless after seeing your husband for the first time in weeks.

He was undeniably handsome, his work shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his black slacks framing his lean build perfectly, and his hair always styled to perfection like always when he went to work.

But past it all, he was still the man who broke you down over the time span of 8 months, and no matter how handsome he looked, it still wasn’t enough to ignore all the horrible things he did to you. “What do you want?”

He’s finally knocked out of his daze when he hears your voice for the first time in so long. “H-hi y-y-y/n I Uhh I just wanted t-to.” he took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself down just a little bit. “These.” he reached for the folder he was holding under his arm and handed it to you. “They’re all signed and ready to go, so yeah,” he says quietly, not an ounce of confidence coming from him. His whole demeanor looked completely different from the heeseung you’ve known for the last couple of months.

You just took the folder from his hands without saying a word.

“Sorry it took so long to sign. I was just busy at work and all,” he told a little white lie as you nodded, really not caring about why it took him so long. All that mattered was that they were signed, and you could finally detach yourself from him. “I know you gave it back, but it’s yours, so you keep it, sell it, get rid of it.” he lists out a bunch of options as he gives you back your wedding ring. “Personally, I’d sell it,” he jokes, but it’s not funny, and he knows that, but he’s just saying whatever at this point, trying to stall and stay with you just a little longer cause after all this was the final goodbye after this there was a high chance he wouldn’t even ever see you again.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you reply.

When he sees you’re not even interested in giving him the time of day, he just gives up and tucks his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know what to say,” he whispers shakily. “I never prepared for a day like this. Never thought I’d ever be saying goodbye to you.”

You really wish he’d just stop talking and go. This was already hard enough, and to hear him saying things like this just made it harder.

“You know what I did prepare for, though, having you in my life until the day I die, having a family watching our children grow together, you know, just everything we always talked about.” he sighs and looks down at his feet feeling so small and pathetic in your presence. “But that’s all gone now 'cause I fucked it up” he lifts his head up, showing you the tears in his eyes, and you use all your strength to hold in your emotions. It took everything in you not to let your tears fall cause he didn’t deserve your tears, let alone your sympathy. “I’m sorry,” his voice cracked even though he tried so hard to fight it. “And I know that’s not enough.” he swallows the lump in his throat, nodding to himself. “I’m not asking you to take me back even though I want nothing more in the world than to call you mine again. All I’m asking is for you to please forgive me, y/n. I’m so so sorry for everything I put you through. I’m sorry for breaking my promises, I’m sorry for hurting you, and I’m sorry for letting you down.” he buried his face in his hands, unable to look at you any longer. He wipes away his tears, his shoulders rising and falling with every deep breath he takes, attempting to calm his thumping heart.

You don’t even know how you managed to keep it together seeing him so weak and hurt, but somehow you did. And deep down, you really wanted to accept his apology, but you just couldn’t. The things he said and did were far too hurtful for you to reconcile.

So you stayed silent, watching all the life and hope leave his eyes the longer you went without giving him an answer. “Wow,” he chuckles to himself, wiping away more tears. “I even found a way to fuck this up, too,” he bites on his lip, another shaky breath escaping his dry lips. “I’m sorry for disturbing you.” he cleared his throat, gathering himself for a moment before saying those dreaded words that he knew he’d have to say sooner than later. “Goodbye, y/n.” he turned around, heading back to his car in the rain as you shut the door.

You opened the folder, looking at his signature, tracing over it with your thumb, and telling yourself you were happy with your decision not to go back to him.

Thanks for reading likes comments and reblogs are always appreciated sorry for any typos or errors I hope you all have a good day/night♥️

Permanent taglist:®• @ashxsmoon @lhsggg @scarlet127 @bunhoons @axartia @kpopscruggles @badidealy @heeseungleeworld @jayroseyy @bangchanhasbigfeet @duolingofanaccount @oceanyocean @hee-in @heesgirl @bambisgirl @heeaddict @heartandfangs @nyxtwixx @iamliacamila @ramenoil @mimikittysblog

#enhypen heeseung #enhypen #heeseung smut #heeseung #lee heeseung smut #lee heeseung #enha heeseung #engene #heeseung fic #heeseung angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen smut #lee heeseung x y/n #heeseung x reader #enhypen heeseung smut

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ariesqueencobra · 10 months

Text

what we used to be | ll

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your expectations aren't met when Eli doesn't ask you to the dance. You're left heartbroken for a multitude of reasons and Eli wonders if he can fix it.

Warnings: bullying, slut shaming, mentions of violence

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Here's part two! I'm enjoying the story so far and I hope you do to! Make sure that if you want to see more of this story to comment and reblog! Comments let me know what you like about the story and reblogs help others see the story! Thanks!

I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.

“Cyberbullying is no laughing matter,” Counselor Blatt said into the mic.

You cringed as you listened to Counselor Blatt talk about bullying, specifically targeting Eli with her “a mother called about her kid crying with a facial deformity” statement.

Was she really that oblivious?

You sent a reassuring glance Eli’s way, your smile causing him to drop his hand from his mouth.

He tipped a small smile towards you and you reached for his hand under the table. A small gesture you both have been doing more and more.

“This Friday is our Halloween dance,” the counselor continued.

You half-zoned in on her announcement of dressing in appropriate and inclusive costumes. You thought to yourself about your costume, part of you hoping Eli would like it. Speaking of which, you hoped he would actually ask you to the dance.

It had been a week since you both confessed your feelings for each other. While you enjoyed the hand-holding, you were still waiting on a date. Maybe you should ask him out, you tend to think to yourself. But you never had the guts to.

“You should come by my karate dojo tonight,” Miguel told Eli. “We’re still looking for recruits”.

Eli smiled, nodding slightly.

“Hear that Eli?” Demetri began to speak with sarcasm. “You’re gonna learn to kick some ass with a little karate training,” he beamed, making movements with his hands.

You frowned slightly just as Eli dropped his smile and pulled his hand away from yours. His mind already rethinking the possibility of actually joining a karate dojo.

You chewed on your lip, pulling your hand back in your lap, trying not to dwell on the ache it left in your chest.

“Still no luck on your sketchbook?” Miguel turned to you after the announcements were done.

“Nope, checked the lost and found, all my classes,” you huffed.

You were pacing the entire weekend, waiting until you arrived at school this morning. You even had your mom drop you off at the earliest time to search for it.

“I’m sure it’ll turn up,” Eli reassured.

You nodded just as your gaze briefly brushed over the popular table, your bullies snickering your way. That feeling found its way into your gut again but you looked away, hoping to ignore it.

As the bell rang, you picked up your stuff and said bye to Miguel and Demetri while Eli fell into step beside you.

“I’ll meet you after school?” Eli asked when he walked you to class.

“For sure,” you clutched your books to your chest.

You forced a smile, trying not to let your regret show. This was a perfect time to ask you. Why didn’t he? You wondered.

Sitting at your desk, you dropped your head into your folded arms, hoping you weren’t giving up on the idea too easily.

He had a week to ask you, there was plenty of time.

You sighed as you stared in the mirror, placing the last flower in your hair.

Eli didn’t ask you out to the dance.

While you were sad about it, the hopeful feeling in your heart deflating, you didn’t want to let not having a date ruin your chances of a fun night so you got yourself ready.

After your dad had dropped you off, you walked through the gym doors and stuffed your phone into your pocket, thankful your skirt had them.

The boys’ gaze found yours and you grinned as you made your way towards them.

“Frida Khalo?” Miguel asked, the corner of his lip turning upward when he pinpointed your costume.

“Yup,” you smirked, twirling in your skirt.

The movement and vivid color of your skirt entranced the guys, Eli taking a minute longer to bring his attention back to you.

You smiled to yourself, thankful the dark gym did well to hide your flusteredness.

“Nice costume by the way,” you grinned, complimenting Miguel’s skeleton costume. “What are you guys?”

“Necromancer,” Demetri said.

“I’m a plastic surgeon, I fix lips,” Eli stuttered through the mask, glancing down at the end.

While he was wearing his mask to hide his lip, you couldn’t help but admire how beautiful his eyes were. The blue of his scrubs only illuminated how bright his blue orbs were.

You averted your gaze, staring out to the dance floor.

“To think we traded our movie night for this,” Demetri exhaled while you stood by the bleachers.

“It could be fun,” Miguel disagreed. “We should ask those girls to dance,” he nodded to the three girls out on the dance floor dressed as Dragon Queens.

“Dancing could be fun,” you added, glancing at Eli.

“We should go before we lose our chance,” Miguel encouraged, siding with you but the two boys showed a lot of reluctance.

When the girls found other dance partners a moment later and Eli remained silent, you knew you’d be standing here all night.

“I’m gonna get a snack,” you pressed your lips together, walking over to the snack table.

You weaved through the crowd, your eyes set on the cheese platter at the table.

“Dude, you should’ve asked Y/N to dance,” Miguel scolded, hitting his arm.

“She didn’t want to dance,” Eli said, watching you walk away. “She’s not a dancer,”.

He figured he was right, he knew you best out of the three of them.

“Does it matter? She wanted to dance with you,” Miguel sighed, rolling his eyes. “You missed your chance,”.

Eli glanced down as regret bubbled in him.

“Don’t you guys like each other?” Demetri butted in. “Y/N isn’t getting the message, I mean look how hurt she looks,” the three of them turned to look at you.

You had your arms crossed as you looked over the food at the table. While they were talking to themselves, you were contemplating where you went wrong that Eli didn’t like you anymore.

If he still liked you, he would’ve asked you out, right?

“It’s still new, we haven’t even kissed,” Eli shrugged, staring at you. “What if she doesn’t want to kiss me because of my lip?” he voiced a concern.

“You’d be closer to kissing if you actually show her you like her,” Demetri explained.

“She’s probably doubting herself, you have to make the move,” Miguel said. “Strike first, remember?” he jabbed his fists.

Eli nodded, hiking his shoulders up as he inhaled. It was a lost cause, hiding behind his mask wasn’t giving him the courage he thought he needed.

You chewed on your lip when you briefly met Eli’s eyes at the other end of the gym. Your mind was plagued with thoughts. From how much you wanted to ask him out to how much you were hurt by him.

Throwing your napkin away, you almost bumped into someone, your face recognizing Aisha.

“Nice sodium costume,” you complimented, hoping a friendly conversation will give you the much-needed distraction.

The antennas she wore on her head were cute.

“Thanks,” she smiled. “What is your costume exactly?” She pointed at you, her face contorted in confusion.

“I’m Frida Khalo,” you answered. “It would make more sense with the unibrow and mustache but frankly, I didn’t want to give Yasmine a chance to make fun of me, so,” you trailed, pressing your lips together.

It would’ve tied it all together but you could already hear the comments coming from her. You wished you had the confidence to ignore it but sadly, you didn’t.

“No, I get it,” she sent you a reassuring smile. “It’s a cool costume by the way,” she grinned.

“Thanks,” you beamed. “Is it cool if I chill here? My friends are kinda boring,” you snickered.

You glanced at the three, watching as they sipped on their drinks.

“You’re welcome to stay, but it’s not much of a party over here,” she raised a brow, gesturing around.

“It’s okay, I think what I really need is some feminine energy,” you giggled.

You didn’t have a single girl friend your entire life. You stuck to Eli and Demetri all your life. That didn’t mean there weren’t moments where you wished you had one female friend with whom you could have sleepovers and do all those girly things they did in movies.

As you spoke to the girl in front of you, you thought she was the perfect person to finally share that with.

“Every girl needs that once in a while,” she nodded.

“This might sound a bit forward, but do you want to hang out sometime?” You wrung your fingers together, gripping onto the ounce of confidence you felt.

She blinked in joy, quick to reply. “Yeah, that would be fun!”

“Great, I have you on Insta so I’ll DM you,” you said. “I gotta get back to the guys, but I’ll see you,” you bid before you turned around.

Making your way back to the guys, you were filled with hope, and excitement.

“I made a friend,” you squealed. “A female one!”

“Looks like Y/N’s had more luck with women than us tonight,” Miguel shook his head.

You frowned. “Don’t give up just yet, the night is still young!” you encouraged. “There are plenty of girls waiting to be asked to dance,” you glanced out at the floor again but your eyes trained on Eli, hoping your encouraging speech was connecting dots in his head.

“I think it’s best to scope out here the rest of the night,” Demetri said before going back to his drink.

You frowned but Eli handed you a cup and you pressed a smile, deciding to join them in their wallowing for a little bit.

But when thirty minutes passed and there were no signs of Eli making a move, you grew defeated once more.

“Is anyone going to ask a girl out to dance?” you hiked your shoulders up, staring at the three.

“I kinda gotta go to the bathroom, this punch ran straight through me,” Demetri dodged your question.

You dropped your head.

“Same here,” Eli agreed.

“I think I’m gonna go,” you played with your fingers, pointing to the exit behind you. “I’m gonna call my mom to pick me up,”.

“You sure, Y/N?” Miguel asked.

“Yeah, unless you guys are gonna do more than stand at the punch bowl all night?” your tone rang with obviousness.

“Admit it, Y/N, we’re not the guys that ask pretty girls to dance,” Demetri stated.

Your arms dropped to your sides and you glanced at Miguel and Eli, both of their faces reading in agreement.

“Okay,” you gulped, pain circling behind your eyes as tears threatened to form. “Well, good night,” you bid the boys, sending Eli a look before you walked out.

To think he actually liked you. Who were you kidding?

You went home that night heartbroken.

Eli: are you okay? You haven’t answered any of our messages.

He watched as another text was read by you but was left unanswered.

Hopping off his bike, he made his way to your front door, ringing the doorbell before your dad opened the door.

“She doesn’t want to see you,” he narrowed his gaze at him.

“Sir, I’m not even sure what I did,” he gulped. “I just want to talk,” he tried to reason.

“I’m sorry, son, but I can’t let you. You’ll see her at school on Monday,” he bid him goodnight before shutting the door.

Unsatisfied, he sent you another text before walking over to your window.

He was thankful your room was on the first floor just as he brought his fist to the window. Through the curtains, he could see the light of your room and your shadow moving about the room.

Anticipation filled him as the shadow approached but it quickly fell when the light dimmed out, signaling you didn’t want to talk.

You heard his footsteps fade away and that’s when you laid back down, deciding it was best to sleep the rest of the weekend away.

The next day, you found yourself at school. You kept your conversation cut with the guys, especially Eli, your heart hurting every time you looked at him.

What you weren’t expecting to see at school though was a beaten-up Miguel. Apparently, Kyler and his gang cornered him at the dance when you had left.

It was brutal.

“I think what you did was brave,” you said, countering Demetri’s point that it was bad karate was boosting Miguel’s confidence. “You actually took a shot even if you knew things could take a bad turn,” you pressed your lips tightly.

The boys shared a glance before turning to Eli.

“Yeah, for sure,” Miguel trailed.

“I thought it was cool that you stood up to Kyler,” Eli glanced at him with a small smile.

“Are you insane? Take it this way, what is the best superpower to have?” Demetri began one of his tangents to prove a point.

“Super-strength,” Miguel answered easily.

“Wrong,” Demetri disagreed. “Invisibility, or super-speed to run away really fast,” he moved back to his work.

“Run away from who?” Kyler’s presence was made.

All four of you stilled.

“We were just leaving,” you all grabbed your things, making a move to run but Kyler got Eli, gripping him by the jaw.

Your heart clenched.

As much as you were hurt by him, you hated seeing him get bullied, especially by Kyler.

You swore if you could punch anyone, it would be him—behind Yasmine and Moon of course.

“Look at this freak,” he snickered. “What girl would kiss that?” he got up real close to his face.

You would, you knew that for sure. But you cowered in fear when Kyler shook Eli, the movement caused you to flinch, catching the bully’s attention.

“Maybe you, since you’re a slut and all,” he smirked, shoving Eli in your direction.

You almost fell from the contact but Demetri was able to catch you.

“Bet you’d kiss anything,” he made a face that had you revolting.

You didn’t understand why he was slut-shaming you out of all people, but then you remembered he was friends with Yasmine.

When Miguel attempted to stand up for all of you, Kyler gave you a mercy pass.

Without another thought, you all booked it.

After spending the rest of school away from Kyler, you were trying to get home but seemingly, Eli wouldn’t let you out of his sight.

“I kinda want to be alone,” you stared at the floor, your books clutched to your chest as you approached your locker.

“Y/N, did I do something wrong?” he stopped you in the empty hallway, a hand on your arm.

“Eli,” you sucked in a breath, about to tell him but a loud laugh disrupted you.

Blonde hair and designer brands filled your vision, her heels clicking against the floor.

“Oh, hey! Y/N!” Yasmine beamed when she spotted you. “We’ve been looking for you,” she walked towards you with Moon at her side, her arms behind her back.

“We wanted to give this back,” Moon said just as Yasmine held out a similar yellow book with lavenders painted on it.

Your heart dropped and you froze.

She wagged it in your face but you couldn’t move.

Eli just stood beside you, his eyes trained on you, searching for any sign of expression.

“Oh, well, if you don’t want it, I guess it’s trash,” Yasmine shrugged, dumping it in the garbage next to you guys. “Later, slut,” she spat towards you.

The two began cackling like crazy, leaving you with tears welling in your eyes.

You sensed Eli moving next to you and you saw him reach into the trash, pulling out your sketchbook.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said. “Do you want me to look?” he held it in his hands.

“I can look,” you gulped, blinking away your tears as he handed it to you.

You opened it, finding all your sketches and paintings ruined.

Red and black marker filled the pages, and scribbles and scratches graffitied all over. Words like “slut”, “whore”, “piece of shit”, and even comments about the actual drawings were littered everywhere.

Eli sucked in a breath as he read over your shoulder.

You closed the book, a sob racking through you as you turned and slid down against the lockers, your book pressed against your chest.

“Why would they do something like that?” you frowned, staring at Eli who sat beside you.

“I never thought they’d do something like that, I’m so sorry,” he scooted close so your arms touched. “Do you want me to get the counselor?”

You shook your head. Setting your books down beside you, you rested your head against his shoulder, looping your arm through his.

He stilled for a moment but welcomed your touch as he held onto your hand. He allowed his head to rest on top of yours, your hair rubbing against his skin, but he liked the feeling.

Especially having you so close never felt closer to home.

You finally spoke up after you sat there, letting your tears dry.

“I was sad because you didn’t ask me out to the dance or even asked me to dance,” you licked your lips. “But I’m not sad about that anymore,”.

“I didn’t know you wanted me to,” he glanced at his feet.

“I did, but now I’m just wondering if you actually like me or are you just playing with my feelings cause I can go-,” you were cut off by his lips pressing against yours.

You stilled in shock but quickly melted, allowing your first kiss to happen.

“Woah,” you blew out, staring at him, cheeks burning.

“I do like you,” he reaffirmed. “I’m sorry I’ve been taking forever to show you,” he licked his lips. “And I’m sorry about what Yasmine and Moon did,” he said.

“Me too,” you glanced at his lips. “Thank you for being here,” you smirked.

He smiled before leaning in to kiss you again.

For a few minutes, you forgot how sad you were.

#eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz imagine #eli moskowitz #hawk x reader #cobra kai

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astralnymphh · 7 months

Note

I just got on and saw what’s been happening and bro…I’m glad people are talking about it. Mostly about the smut, inclusivity, Palestine, and the fetishization of trans people.

Reading smut is so underwhelming like it seems like that’s all what people write these days. Like I need ANGST! I need to CRY! I need SLOW BURN AND PLOT….

And to be honest, I personally feel like some writers purposely list the reader’s physical descriptions as being white… like damn you know multiple people are going to come across your shit. I would get annoyed asf when I see something like “she touched your soft pale flushed skin” BITCH- 💀 don’t piss me off 😒🦶🏽

I won’t speak too in depth about the fetishization of trans people in fanfics because I’m not trans and I don’t want to say anything inaccurate BUT I will say it’s so disturbing and off putting seeing shit like that and seeing how people are sexualizing trans people more than treating them like regular humans…I also came across that ‘femcel’ series and🧍🏽‍♀️erm… no.

I appreciate the account who made the post discussing how the word trans and the f word are completely different. I didn’t even know that word was derogatory and it shocked me... I hope that account takes it down and they educate themselves or something cause 🙁👎🏽

yes pook YES smut can be underwhelming and so overdone. we definitely need more angst/fluff.. or just PLOT in general. no, i'm not saying don't write it at all (incase anons twist my words, cause.. they're good at that.) i'm just saying that it would be nice to see some fully fleshed out pieces with emotion and storytelling. i have something in the works though, that encompasses all genres (fluff/smut/angst) so, there's that!

people will so clearly write the whole petite pale white girl bs like "ur delicate small hand" or the fuckass "doey eyed and blushing cherub red" like NEVER portray reader so specifically unless you're going to specify it in the cw!!!! do whatever for ellie's white ass but for the love of gods and goddess BE AWARE OF READER AS A SPOT TO FILL, NOT AN OC!!!! idk how else to describe what i just said. but. it is said. so it. yeah. that whole delicate small petite thing kinda trickles into writing childlike readers too but. thats a whole nother discussion. no clue if i ever used that phrasing in the past tho i have no bold memories of my writings in detail.

i think people will listen to anybody but trans people who are actively calling it fetishization, like. all the mfs arguing with them say "trans and f💀ta aren't the same!" yeah. they aren't. cause one is like, a genuine, flesh and bone person.. with a whole story.. and feelings.. and experiences.. and one is.. fetishization. how many times do trans people have to repeat that? bet most of the people trying to argue against it aren't even trans.

the whole thing about authors "flooding" the tlou tag with palestine posts is also dumb as fuck. is scrolling a bit too taxing on your poor smut-guzzling thumbs?? ur scrolling over big booty fics, i think you can scroll a little further past those posts if you're really that much of a basement dwelling fuck that's sitting comfortably in their homes while a genocide is happening. out here sobbing cause people are spreading awareness. eat my bum bum booty. ++ also add-on cause we're holding writers accountable for ignoring a strike (different than not knowing at first) but there's also the artists!! they're there too.

anons r gonna come into my inbox abt all this but i'm not even gonna answer like, don't waste your time. im not reading all that. especially coming from an ANON 💀

me when

#⤹𓍢ִ໋aestras asks #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie tlou #lesbian #sapphic #ellie williams fic #ellie williams fanfiction #tlou #fanfiction

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mrsmothmom · 2 years

Note

I recently had to deal with some horrible people invading my stream with them saying some not so nice things to me and about others.

I’m still fresh and new to streaming and don’t have mods. How am I supposed to combat this?

buckle up

if you're a streamer reading this, and you have a tip that i haven't mentioned here, please feel free to reblog and add on~

how to deal with assholes

part 1: you are the dad of this rodeo

never forget the most important part of streaming. you are in control. you turn the stream on, you turn it off. you have all the power.

with that out of the way, let's talk about chat moderation.

part 2: a viewer is never more valuable then your time

when new streamers encounter people who are kinda mean, they sometimes feel like they have to put up with it because no one else is watching. this is incorrect.

you do not have to put up with anything - this is your stream and this is your community (even if that community is just you for now). tell mean people to be cool or move on. that is always your right.

part 3: ban them

if someone comes into your stream and makes you and your community uncomfortable, ban them. ask questions, think deeply, feel feelings about it later.

when you ban them, their messages for the last while will go away. they can appeal later and cry about it on their own time. if you ban by mistake, simply unban them and apologize. nice people who enjoy your stream will understand. rude people who don't care about you will be a problem about it. you don't want people in category 2 in your stream anyway.

part 4: what you react to is what you get

the bigger your reaction to something, the more of it you will receive. twitch is all about reactions (just ask xQc).

therefore if people are being mean, they are doing it to see you react. they want evidence that the bullying is working. therefore...

do not let them see you sad

do not let them see you mad

do not let them see you cry

do not argue

do not negotiate

the best reaction you can have to a group of rowdy bullies is the stone-faced enforcement of your power.

part 5: what to do, step by step

in the event that your stream is overtaken by a whole group of assholes (maybe just some bullies, maybe a hate raid), i encourage you to take the following steps:

stop, take a deep breath. all problems are solvable, and all disasters recoverable. do not let panic take over

go on break and mute your mic. don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you upset (the more overwhelming the attack, the more abrupt your break should be - don't bother explaining why you're leaving. if you have time to say anything at all, say that you'll be back in a moment and nothing else)

put chat in emote only mode

put chat is sub only mode

if you can, run some ads (if they're gonna be assholes, you might as well get paid)

if there are an actionable number of people causing the problem (read less than 30 or so), ban them by hand now. you can do more advanced clean up later if you need to. if it's too many to ban, you've gotta end the stream.

once the folks have been cleared out, get back on stream, apologize to your real viewers for the interruption, restore chat and continue on your way. don't bother giving air time to assholes. when it's over, it's over.

if you are too upset to continue stream, don't.

if you use a stream bot, stream deck, or alternative (touch portal, deckboard, etc), you can set many of these actions to a button that you can press to automatically go into SOS mode. i strongly recommend this.

part 6: aftermath

your community will move on as soon as you do. take a moment to calm down, decompress, and remember that those people don't know you and their opinion means nothing. don't let the community dwell on it - that is what they want, for you to be sad for as long as possible.

if you've got a whole ton of bots clogging up your followers, use commander roots tools to clear them out:

part 7: prevention

prevent known bots and assholes from crawling into your stream by using commander roots tools (to pre-ban folks) and sery_bot:

part 8: other security measures

never stream live from a public (as is people you don't bring in can appear) discord channel. if you are live, make sure you have total control over what appears on stream

never click links without checking them off-live first. what your friend thinks is harmless fun might be ban-able by twitch TOS

avoid streaming your entire desktop

people are not entitled to everything they want right when they want it (NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY THEY GIVE YOU). people who care about you will wait until your ready and willing do say / do / answer / preform etc. etc.

set community rules and hold everyone and yourself to them.

put disclaimers on links to gift / donate / tip you saying that everything is considered a gift and is non refundable or exchangeable.

part 9 (FINAL): respect yourself

it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks is ok. all that matters is that you feel safe and comfortable. remember:

hit them with the biggest hammer you have, and never look back.

i hope this is helpful. godspeed.

#vtuber uprising #indie vtuber #cyber security #internet safety #safe care #mom answers #discostardust #take care of yourself space cowboy

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perhaps-in-anotherdream · 1 year

Note

Helloooo!! So I'm not new to mlqc but this is probably the first time I've actually started to take note of the plot, personalities, and dynamics in the game (mostly because I rarely have free time lololol) and may I ask what Victor's relationship to mc as a child was? I find their age gap to be a bit weird as children esp since it vaguely reminds me of the weirdo in my school at the moment ;-;

Sorry if I sound rude!!!

hello! lmao don’t worry and put your mind at ease cause the writers are well aware of the boundaries at play with a 6 year age gap, haha.

i’m not gonna bore you with the details and would suggest you do read up on the contents yourself whenever you have time. to make it short-

Victor and MC had met in the park when MC was 5, and Victor was 11. Victor’s soccer ball accidentally broke MC’s sandcastle and he promised to bring her pudding the next day to get her to stop crying. From then on, MC would address Victor as Zeyan gēge (please click on the link for details), they would meet in the park very often from then on for nearly a year (childhood playmate/ sweetheart things)- until one day, Victor spotted MC trying to cross the street to save a kitten, and that was the first time ever he used his Evol in public to save her. This later on led to the orphanage kidnapping incident- Victor leading the kids to escape together, but losing MC as she jumped to save him from the lightning aimed at him. That marked the end of their childhood encounter haha.

It certainly left them both with a fixation (i.e., Victor’s long search of 17 years and MC’s obsession with making pudding despite losing her memories), but whatever feelings they held as kids of that age did not get the chance to actually blossom. they were left to pine on their own lmao🫠 and now that they’ve met again, while there are regrets which MC is more vocal about, but Victor always reminds her to have their childhood encounter as a fond memory as opposed to dwelling on the regrets, cause they already have a beautiful life together now and he’d have fallen for her regardless~

I was actually having this discussion on discord yesterday haha- about how it’d have gone down had it not been for the two being separated- and in that scenario, knowing Victor, they’d have waited until they were both (!read MC) were consenting adults to “make it official” haha- which the S2 main story did give us a glimpse of- though we were shown the MC’s yearnings and longings, the writers waited for her to turn 18 before she reunited with him- and they’ve been inseparable since, quite literally and figuratively~ 💕

—

#ask #wow it's been a productive morning lmao wrote 2 analysis in 30 mins since waking up LOL

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hyenahunt · 2 years

Text

Saga: Rivals - 6

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Jun, Hiyori

Proofreading: moricchiichan (JP) & hyenahunt (ENG)

Translation: kotofucius

Hiyori: Jun-kun... Can I give you a hug?

Jun: ... well, I do get what you’re saying. Nothing's gonna change if I just keep moping around.

Hiyori: Yes, yes. So wipe that gloomy look away — let’s move onto more enjoyable topics!

Have a look over here, Jun-kun! I dropped by the agency on my way home, you see —

And they gave me aaall these fan letters!

Regardless of where the winds of history will blow, or whatever tall tales of us are spoken, there are so many people who still love us!

If we were to ever let these people feel that cheering us on was a waste of time... why, that would be the end of us. So you see, we must continue to hold our heads high and lavish our brilliant love on them, all the while with radiant smiles on our faces ♪

Jun: Ooh... You brought heaps of 'em home again, huh~ And to think you won’t even carry shopping bags on your own, usually.

Hiyori: Well, I didn’t have anyone to carry them for me this time.

In the morning, I brought Hidaka-sensei to Yumenosaki Academy, and briefly dropped in to say hello to Eichi-kun and the others. Afterwards, I just had fun wandering about town.

Hehe, we’ve almost always been around each other since Eve's formation, so being all alone for once was in fact rather refreshing.

Jun: But aren'tcha the the type that gets lonely on your own? You could’ve called me up, y'know.

Hiyori: Oh no, you second years still have your normal class times, don't you? So I was just being considerate~ It was lonely, of course, but I endured it!

Jun: Well, yeah, but the higher-ups are all still busy ‘cause of SS, so even in class we just mostly did some self-studying.

Speaking of which, we got out of SS unharmed ‘cause we sided with Trickstar — in fact, the public now has an even better opinion of us thanks to that —

Hiyori: Yes. And now Ibara is taking full advantage of it to play his game of politics as he climbs the corporate ladder with incredible momentum.

With the rate he’s going at, he may already come to stand at the very top of CosPro by next term.

Jun: Hmph. Not that I get what's so great about ruling over this tattered wreck of an agency, but...

Well, I guess there’s some kinda worth in everything? Actually, we’re talking about Ibara here — he's gonna find some use for it, one way or the other.

But yeah, anyway, despite being part of CosPro we’re still profiting from the situation .

And all those other guys probably hate us for that, yeah? Dealing with their pointed glares and shittalking gossip is 'bout as pleasant as stepping on Legos, I swear.

Jun: Well, by now I'm pretty much immune to that kinda stuff. But in the end, I just can’t help feeling guilty about it... or like, I can’t help but wonder: why me?

I don’t wanna keep asking the same thing over and over, but I can’t just shake it off or figure it out... I mean, is it really okay for me and only me to be this happy?

Ever since I was a snot-nosed brat, I've grown up stuck between my shitty old man who's trapped in the past, and my mom who did nothing but cry...

So to me, the life I have right now is like something right outta a dream. And that's exactly why it scares me.

After all, there are people in this world out there living in the absolute dumps... I mean, I was one of 'em.

So y'see, I get what you mean and all, that if I’ve got more happiness than I know what to do with, I should share it with those who aren't as lucky.

But no matter what, I just can't stop dwelling on it. Why me? There wasn't any real reason for it, y'know? It was just a stroke of dumb luck... all thanks to you finding me.

I basically earned it by chance, without a lick of effort on my part — and that's exactly why it feels like I could lose it just as easily...

And it makes me so anxious. I want something to convince me that I’m someone who actually deserves the happiness that I have, just as I am.

But there's nothing I can do right now except train up my strength. I know, I know, all it'll actually do is add to my muscle...

But still, I need to grow stronger, even if just by a bit. I need to become a true idol I can be proud of.

Or else, Ohii-san... I just can't ever forgive myself for being happy.

Hiyori: Jun-kun... Can I give you a hug?

Jun: 'Scuse me? I'll pass, that's gross. Your replies just... never make any sense, do they?

Hiyori: Whenever you feel anxious, there's nothing like letting someone hold you tight while you listen to the sound of their heartbeat. See? Mary felt so safe and secure in my arms that she's fast asleep now ♪

Jun: Haha. You'd never have guessed she used to yelp all night in fear when we first brought her home.

Hiyori: Yes, the thought of the dorm head catching on and coming to tell us off certainly kept us on edge.

Hiyori: The poor girl was born frail... Perhaps that was the reason her owner so heartlessly abandoned her.

She could have died out there in the harsh outdoors, so perhaps she was truly blessed to have stayed alive.

She was scavenging a garbage dump that day, with a desperation to stay alive and her fur stained with blood.

Perhaps I ought to have left her alone. Touching her would stain my own clothes; and I had no reason to think she would have a better life under my care...

But before I knew it, she was already bundled in my arms, my cheek pressed to her fur.

I felt the warmth of her body, and the beat of her heart. And now that I'd found her, there was no way I could leave her alone.

She could stain my clothes for all I care...

If she had died only after there wasn't anything more I could've done to save her, I could still live the rest of my life with that feeling of helplessness and regret.

But if I were to simply abandon this precious life to die, then I could never love myself again. And if I were ever unable to love even myself, why, I wouldn’t be able to live on for even a second longer.

So you see, it was for myself that I picked her up and cared for her, cherished her, and fed her.

I may not be able to save every helpless life in existence, but I wish to protect at least those that are around me.

Then, those who I protected and raised may in turn grow up to be tall and strong and splendid... Perhaps they may even come to provide me with solace and happiness.

And so long as that cycle of love persists, I'll be able to believe that the world isn't all that bad.

Jun: ... and what're you tryna say with all that?

Hiyori: What I'm saying is that you don’t need to be anxious or afraid either, Jun-kun.

You may have asked “Why me?”... but does there truly need to be a reason? Why not just go with the thought that it was the wonderful destiny God always had in store for you, and leave it at that?

More importantly — we'll be getting busy soon enough, so you should go take a bath, change into your pajamas, and get enough sleep for tomorrow.

Jun: ... gotcha. We're gonna barge right into Yumenosaki tomorrow under the pretense of meeting up with Hidaka-sensei, right?

Hiyori: Yes. We'll say our hellos, first of all. Then, just like the typical rivals of a shounen manga, we'll defeat that group they call Ba-barrier.

"Ba-barrier defeated when even Project-Saga's fan-favourite Rain-bows struggled against them — just who are these victors!?"

... So shall be our headline as they welcome our debut with dramatic fanfare! ♪

Jun: Haha. With a dramatic entrance like that, wouldn’t it be embarrassing if we just ended up losing against those Ba-barrier guys?

Hiyori: Our possibility of losing is zero. Well, Ba-barrier does have Madara-kun, so they may not quite go down without a fight...

But no man or devil stands the slightest chance of victory against us... Not when we have the divine perfection of our ruthless angel of victory on our side.

✦✦✦✦✦

← prev ✦ all ✦ next →

#ensemble stars #enstars #enstars translation #s: saga #hyenahunttl #jun sazanami.#hiyori tomoe

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wickedmoonlite · 1 year

Text

KinnPorsche Rewatch 2023

Reminder: as we go into heavier topics in KP (dub-con/non-con, toxic behaviors, etc.), I will not be doing deep dives. I’m planning on taking this just below surface value as these are literally thoughts I have in the moment as I’m watching. Thank you.

Side Story Random Thoughts

Tankhun is so dramatic here. Fake crying and the whole time giving side eye to P like "he's really buying this?"

Why is this hospital so fancy though? K is sleeping in a queen size bed for goodness sake.

Ah yes, Vegas. Here to stir shit up.

I'm on vacation he says. I'm gonna sleep alone he says. Liar. Scared of fake ghosts (actually probably not fake, most hospitals are haunted for obvious reasons).

K, I think it might be slightly obvious that P is going to stay by your side. Come on now. But thanks for giving him a phone so he can talk to Chay at least. Damn.

Sweet little ending with a cuddle ❤

Episode 7 Random Thoughts

Iconic Pete opening.

The lighting in this episode is so pretty.

Porsche and Big really just focus on a guy with an earbud... Meanwhile, another guy just strolls up with a damn grenade. Honestly.

I love how all the people there are causing a ruckus because there's a grenade up for grabs but no one fucking leaves?? They just sit there and watch??? What are y'all doing?

I dunno, beating someone into a confession probably would be difficult if the person is particularly tight lipped. But Vegas walking over with a torture case? Idk, I think I'd rather talk than be tortured...

The look that Pete gives Vegas though. Somewhat intrigued, it seems.

Did he pull out a tooth?? What is that?

Gun always trying to out wit and out maneuver his brother. He has one hell of a complex... And gave his sons a complex. And abused them. And he has too many cravats.

The red velvet shirt though.

I actually really enjoy this scene where we see how differently the minor family operates. People greeting with respect as they walk by, but they're more relaxed than the main family's people are.

Vegas walking in and out of the shadows, the lighting in general.. It's... Telling in a way. Of what kind of character Vegas puts forth for his people but also of the darkness dwelling within.

I feel like for how many people most likely live in that complex, they should have like three of those long tables set up.

Typical teenage boy with a messy room but it's just the house that's messy.

Why is K still on a saline drip at home? How long has it been since he got shot?

"But Daddy I love him!!" Honestly though, P makes K such a better person overall. Not just for their employees, but for himself. K doesn't necessarily need to be cruel to be an effective leader. I still hold that K was the worst thing to happen to P though, it turned him into someone that the old P would have hated.

Back to the single seat on the Panigale.

Vegas is more like a dad to Macau than Gun is.

Chay is all embarrassed about his room, like no my crush cannot go in there because he'll see my little shrine.

I love how easy going Kim seems to be around Chay. Compared to how we know he can be. Jeff did such a good job with him.

And then the closeup where we see the friendly demeanor drop and he goes straight back into nosy mode and walls go back up.

And then when Chay comes back, those walls come down a bit again and Kim's like damn, this boy is getting to me. I must get him to admit his crush.

It's because he's jealous, P. Always because he's jealous. K is so bad at communication and trusting P 🥴 get your shit together.

That shit eating smirk on Vegas's face. So good at sowing little seeds of distrust.

My boy Tay coming in with the best advice. And the best style.

How long has that body been there though?

Pete's out here doing the most.

I actually love that K comes to see P and gives him the lucky gun to hold onto. Nice symbolism.

"Let me show you your product." Guns ablaze. God this scene is well done. Porsche and Vegas work together surprisingly well for gun fights.

I think I've played too much Assassin's Creed, I always want to hear requiescat in pace vs reposa in pace.

The party is so well lit. All these lighting differences are so pretty.

Then Vegas trying to get Porsche to stay on with him, telling him what he thinks P wants to hear bc he's a stalker ass.

Porsche is visibly uncomfortable around Vegas in the bathroom scene. Then during the kiss pushes him away... Because he only loves Kinn.

Then Porsche hits Kinn where it hurts: I know about your ex, but only vaguely.

So hurtful, that slap was well deserved.

"I shouldn't have loved a shitty guy like you." He was trying to hit K where it hurt. And finally speaking the words that K needed to hear.

I do like how P takes back control during the NC scene. Doing sexy time on his own terms this time.

The chemistry is out of fucking control.

Consistently, the best NC scene of the series in this episode, in my humble opinion. Plus growing (my faves) KimChay's relationship :')

Episode 8 next!

#kprewatch2023 #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series

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mirkwoodshewolf · 1 year

Text

IATCOD Chap. 24; The siege of Gondor

*Author's note*

So after a couple of days this chapter was finally able to come together. I apologize in advance if the battle sequence towards the end as well as the ending feels rushed but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. Now idk when I'll update the next chapter since my vacation time is over and I'll be going back to work, then my work will transition into new work hours so idk how my updating schedule will be like but I'll try to get the next chapter done as soon as I can cause we're gonna include my all time FAV scene, 'The battle of Pelennor fields' in Cain's POV. But that's in the next chapter, for now not really much warnings except for Denethor's madness truly shining now and some graphic battle sequences.

NEXT CHAPTER

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@thats-s0-ravenn

____________________________________________________________

*Cain’s POV*

We rode through Dunharrow and I could already hear so many heartbeats of both men and horses. The sound of iron clanking on metal forges and tents being pitched up for the night. As we rode along, the men of Rohan acknowledged and announced their King’s arrival while Theoden raised his hand in greeting.

“Grimbold, how many?” Theoden asked.

“I bring 500 men from the Westfold my lord.” Grimbold answered to my right.

“We have 300 more from Fenmarch, Theoden King.” Proclaimed another man.

“Where are the riders from Snowbourn?” asked Theoden but another man told him.

“None have come, my lord.” Replied another man.

“We’re going to make camp just ahead on top of the mountain cliff’s. If you feel the altitude will be too much for your heightened senses, Theoden King will understand if you wish to stand at the ground level here.” Aragorn said as he rode up next to me.

“I appreciate the visual aid Aragorn, but I will be fine. It took some time for me to adjust but I’m able to rest on top the highest mountains Harad has to offer. The journey up the cliff’s will not deter me.” He hummed in acknowledgement as we rode up the steep cliff’s side all the way to what I assume is the King’s cliff’s where only the King of Rohan and his council members would rest while the rest of the army makes camp here down below.

When we got to the top and the men started to make camp, I stood with Theoden alongside the edge and fully counted the number of heartbeats that stood before us.

“6000 spears.” Theoden voiced my answer as Aragorn came and stood beside us. “Less than half of what I’d hoped for.”

“6000 will not be enough to break the lines of Mordor.” I wouldn’t give up hope Aragorn.

“More will come.” Theoden assured him. As he walked away, he stopped as Aragorn said.

“Every hour lost hastens Gondor’s defeat. We have till dawn, then we must ride.”

“I’m afraid he’s right Theoden King. With the four days we’ve lost since their departure, who knows what damage Gondor has already taken. Plus the three days ride from here to there. We cannot wait anymore.” I told him. Theoden turned to me and nodded and that’s when a cold shiver ran up my spine and I could sense a presence nearby.

A dark, unrestful presence. And I could sense from Aragorn that he was feeling the same thing I was. I could also hear how the horses were starting to panic.

“Theoden, where exactly does this camp stand?”

“Just a few yards straight ahead of you Master Cain is the road to the Dimholt. The—”

“Door under the mountain.” I finished.

“You know of it?”

“Yes. And I know it’s story. Hela was involved with its making and it’s curse upon the souls who dwell there. Perhaps it’s best she hadn’t come with us.”

“All the years she and my ancestors had made camp here in previous wars, I never did understood why she never settled up here.” Theoden muttered.

“And now you know. The spirits here would not have welcomed Hela with open arms after what she did. I dare not speak ill of the dead but it’s not like they didn’t deserve what they got.” I walked away from Theoden and headed towards the horse stable where I heard Wisteria in a full panic. Huffing and stomping her hooves with high levels of anxiety.

Slowly I came around to her and calmed her down in Elvish. Cautiously approaching her from the side instead of head on like most of these men have been doing.

“Fæste, stille nú. Fæste, stille nú. Shhh. Shhh. Nú. Nú. Stille nú.” I took her reigns and she whinnied anxiously and frightenedly. “Steady girl, steady big girl. All is calm, all is calm.” I gently stroked up her muzzle with the back of my fingers as she let out a huff. “I know, I know big girl. But you have nothing to fear, not while I’m here. You trust me right?” she let out a soft neigh as I softly smiled, “Then nothing shall harm you whilst I’m here.”

She lowered her head down to my chest and I hugged her, stroking up and down her powerful neck.

“That’s my brave girl.” I gave her neck a couple of pats before rubbing it in soothing circles once more. “We’re a team, you and me as one. I will keep you safe, if you keep me safe.” She nickered as she gave me a soft headbutt to which I placed my forehead up to hers.

“It’s almost as if you know exactly what she is thinking.” Éowyn’s voice spoke from behind me. I turned to her and said.

“Celestials have always had the gift of knowing animals emotions. It’s not like I can precisely know what she’s saying but I can sense how she feels based on her emotions.”

“Merry is currently being suited for his Esquire attire, he wishes have you be there for him when I bestow his armor upon him.” I smiled.

“And I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Lead the way my lady.” I held my arm out and she took it as she guided me to where Merry was.

“Master Cain you came!”

“As I told lady Eowyn, I wouldn’t miss my young pupil getting fitted for his position as Esquire of Rohan.” He ran up and embraced me and I embraced him back.

“When will it be ready?” he asked Eowyn.

“Armor and helms take time to mold and size out, be thankful they were able to take your measurements the second we arrived.” Eowyn told him. The way Merry’s heart raced, it reminded me of when Yvaine and I would take the children on a surprise picnic and they couldn’t wait any longer.

“Could you maybe check and see how it’s coming along?” asked Merry.

“Be patient Merry, these things can’t be rushed. It’s better to have an armor that is steadily prepared and fits properly rather than sloppy and unusable. You wouldn’t want your chest plate to come off and allow a sword to pierce right through you, do you?”

“No. That wouldn’t be good.” He said.

“I can still check to see how it’s coming along. With an armor your size, maybe it wouldn’t take as long to forge.” She stood up and I grabbed her wrist and whispered to her.

“You don’t need to if you don’t want to.”

“It’s really no trouble lord Cain.” I released her wrist and she left the tent.

“Now I’ve read what Esquires do in books back in the Shire, but does that also mean I’m also a knight of Rohan?” Merry asked me.

“Esquires can be knighted into knighthood by the King but that’s only if the King commands it. For now you will do as the King commands and be at his side until the battle is near.” Merry nodded.

“So is it like what you’re doing in Hela’s stand?” I smiled.

“Hela was the chief founder alongside the first king of Rohan in founding their kingdom. As such she was given the title Celestial Knight. A position in which only she can obtain. She not only helps serve in times of great war, but also acts as head of council to the king and his descendants till the end of time.”

“Hela always shared with us stories of her times serving alongside great Kings of Men. But she always held such praise whenever she talked about the two kingdoms of men, This one and Gondor, where she, Pip and Gandalf are.”

“She had a good connection with the mortal beings. Even when Ikaris and Thranduil tried to advise her on the warnings of associating with mortals, she didn’t care. Like me, she knew it was better to form as many friendships as you can in one’s life, than to never have taken the chance at all.”

“The armor is ready.” Eowyn said as she came in and I could smell the leather and metal of the buckles enter the tent. Merry’s heart exhilarated with excitement and she continued, “Let’s test it out to make sure it fits you properly.” Merry stood up and together he and Eowyn started assembling his armor.

It took the span of the rest of the day but bit by bit Merry received his armor until finally his helm was ready. Eowyn was just finishing adjusting it onto his head before finally saying.

“There, a true esquire of Rohan.” She stood up and I could hear and smell the excitement that was radiating from Merry. His hand went to his belt and he exclaimed as he quickly withdrew his sword.

“I’m ready!” almost nearly slicing Eowyn across her chest. She jumped back with a gasp before laughing softly and I told him.

“Easy up there young warrior. Don’t want to hurt the Lady of the house you serve.”

“Sorry, it isn’t not all that dangerous. It’s not even sharp.” He muttered the last part sadly.

“Well that’s not good, you won’t kill many orcs with a blunt blade, right Lord Cain?” she said to me.

“Indeed not.” I replied. “Come along, my own weapons could do with a proper sharpening too.” I stood up and exited the tent first followed by Merry who was practicing swinging his sword from the techniques I taught him.

“To the smithy with Lord Cain. Go!” Eowyn urged him and Merry raced on to catch up with me as we headed towards the smithy to get our weapons sharpened before war.

“Do you think after we get our weapons sharpened, we can train some more tonight?”

“Perhaps. But it cannot be a long training session I’m afraid. We have until dawn then we’re leaving for battle.” He nodded as he presented the blacksmith with his sword whilst I gathered my own weapons. I then soon picked up another heartbeat that was currently making the climb up the cliff’s but it was not a Man’s heart, but Elven. A heartbeat I had not heard in a long time, not since it had been nearly an Age since my own exile and he was still under the service of Gil-Galad.

I could also taste in the air the taste of freshly forged silver. So the legend is finally being fulfilled, The blade that was broken, shall return to Minas Tirith in the hands of the Returning king.

“Cain? Master Cain?” I snapped out of my thoughts as Merry’s hand was on my arm. “It’s your turn for your weapons to be sharpened.”

“Right, sorry Merry.” I presented the blacksmith with my daggers and knives.

“You were pretty deep in thought, is everything okay? Are we in danger?” Merry whispered the last part.

“Not here no. Just….hearing of a legend finally being put into motion.” Merry looked at me confused. “Nothing you need to worry yourself over.”

“Here you are Lord Celestial.” The blacksmith said. Merry took my weapons and handed them to me one by one whilst I places them around my belt and the two of us walked off to find an area to train when I heard Éowyn’s heart starting to break.

From the moment I first came here, I knew she had harbored some feelings towards Aragorn but he had to tell her that what she felt wasn’t real and that he cannot love her the way she wants him to. Rejection is a harsh, cold reality that hurts worse than a steel blade cutting through you or even getting a punch from Gilgamesh.

I hope that she can one day find someone who will truly love her.

“Merry, why don’t you find us a space to train? There’s something I need to do.”

“You sure you don’t need me to come along?”

“No, no. You go on, practice those combos I taught you back at the Golden Hall with your newly sharpened sword. I won’t be long.” He nodded then he left my side whilst I honed in on Aragorn’s heartbeat along with Gimli’s and Legolas’ who were standing at his side. I came around a few tents to hear Gimli say.

“You might as well accept it, we’re going with you laddie.” I smiled. Those three truly have formed such a bond of friendship and brotherhood throughout this entire quest.

“You should be grateful to have friends such as these Aragorn.” I said making myself known to them. “Such loyalty in friendship has only ever been strong amongst my own kin that we tried to teach all those who came to Middle Earth.”

“Am I to assume you also are hoping to partake in our journey to the Dimholt?” Aragorn asked me. I chuckled softly.

“Fortunately for you, I won’t. Someone has to stay behind and look after things on this end. I only came to see you three off, and to give you warning.” I walked up to Aragorn and he placed his hand to my shoulder whilst I did the same for him. “The place you are about to enter is a place far worse than even the dark spell of Mordor can muster. A dark veil between our world and the unseen world, cursed by the Celestial of Death herself. The dead do not bargain with the living for they have nothing to lose. But hold true to your purpose, do not back down from your offer. And they will fight for you.”

“I’ve seen how Hela works her ways with the great beyond and she too has taught me how to speak with them. I’ll heed both yours and her teachings.” I smiled as our foreheads touched and I whispered to him in Elvish.

“May the grace of Celestial of Death Hela protect you three.” After Aragorn and I separated, he got on top of Brego whilst Legolas and Gimli got onto Arod and I walked beside Aragorn, guiding them towards the road to the Dimholt.

As we walked, I could hear the men muttering about why we were leaving on the eve of battle. When we got closer to the entrance of the mountain, I stopped and released Brego’s reigns and felt the three of them disappeared within the darkness. The men tried to call out to Aragorn to ask what he was doing but he didn’t give an answer as he disappeared.

“Lord Cain, what is the meaning of this?” asked one of the men. “Why does he leave on the eve of battle?” I didn’t give a response until Gamling spoke up, hopelessness clearly ringing in his voice as he spoke.

“He leaves because there is no hope.”

“He leaves because he must.” I told him as I turned to face him.

“Lord Cain speaks the truth.” Theoden soon came forth aiding my statement.

“Too few have come. We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor.” Gamling said again. There was deaf silence in the air as Theoden admitted to them.

“No….we cannot.” I could hear several of the men’s hearts drop in fear and hopelessness, that was until Theoden said to them, “But we will meet them in battle nonetheless.” A soft smirk came across my lips as I nodded in agreement with the King. That alone began to light a spark of hope amongst the men once more.

As promised, I soon found Merry and together the two of us worked on his combinations as well as some basic horse training since he’ll be needing to know just how to handle his horse in battle. After only two hours of training, I told him to get some rest for we had a long journey ahead of us in just a few hours from now.

Dawn approached into the sky and the sparrows began to stir, the morning dew seeped onto the flowers and grass, and the horses began to awaken. Both on the upper cliffs and down below the riders were quickly packing up camp, dousing out all the fires and saddling up their horses for departure.

I was with Wisteria and saddled her up with my pack underneath her saddle and she let out a soft whinny.

“Yes big girl. It is time. I know this is a lot to ask, but I’ll need you to be my eyes whilst we travel and when we arrive at Gondor. I am unfamiliar with these lands and I’ll need every bit of help when Theoden gives the command, can you do that for me?” she let out a proud huff and stamped her hooves twice. “Thank you Wisteria, you’re a brave girl.” I kissed her muzzle and mounted on top of her.

“Lord Cain!” Théoden’s voice cried out to me. I heard his horse ride up towards me and he said, “You ride with me at my side opposite of Éomer.”

“Yes Theoden King.” I told him as I urged Wisteria on and she followed right behind Théoden’s horse. But all too soon he stopped as we came up to Merry and I was surprised to hear Theoden say to him.

“Little hobbits do not belong in war Master Meriadoc.” There was no condescending tone nor insulting demeanor to his tone, it was as if he was doing this for Merry’s own good.

“All my friends have gone to battle. I would be ashamed to be left behind.”

“It is a three day gallop to Minas Tirith and none of my riders can bear you as a burden.” Merry’s heart broke as he tried to persuade King Theoden.

“I want to fight!” Theoden was silent for a moment before he told him.

“I will say no more.” Then he rode off. I turned to Merry and I knew he was looking up at me desperately.

“Master Cain, please.” I looked between him and where Theoden had ridden off to as Théoden’s voice called out to me.

“Lord Cain!” I sighed heavily and told him.

“It is beyond my control Merry. Even Hela would say the same thing. But take heart Merry, there might be a rider yet to bear you hence. I am too close to Theoden King to do so myself.” I urged Wisteria onward and she ran to catch up beside Théoden’s horse as everyone began to move out.

“Form up! Move out! Form up! Move out!” Éomer proclaimed to one and all as we rode through the fields of Dunharrow.

“Ride! Ride now to Gondor!” Theoden proclaimed. Soon the armies of Rohan rode away from Dunharrow and on the path to Gondor.

*My POV*

I sat there in the tombs of the Kings and Stewards kneeling before the grave of Ecthelion, Denethor’s father.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore old friend. Your son has completely lost his mind. Nothing will get through to him now. This great city is at its dire hour. And I’m afraid that not even my powers will be enough to defend its shining glory.” I solemnly spoke. I felt the soft graze of wind at my face.

‘You will have the strength to defend our home Hela.’ I heard Ecthelion’s voice say to me.

“Not according to your son.”

‘My son will need you now more than ever Hela. I know you and he never saw eye to eye. And that blame falls upon me. But soon he will see the truth. For now you must help another of my heirs.’

“What do you mean?” I asked.

‘You know of whom I speak. Reach out and hear his heart ring true.’ I then felt his presence leave me and I was once again alone in the tombs. I closed my eyes and reached out with my own powers and could hear a single heartbeat coming closer to the walls of the city. It was faint and weak but it still beat with life. I let out a gasp and whispered.

“Faramir.” He’s alive!

“Hela! Hela!” I turned to see Pippin racing towards me.

“Pippin? Have you come to tell me about Faramir?” he stopped before me and had a look of shock and confusion on his face.

“He’s alive?”

“Yes. Hurry I’ll explain it on the way hurry!” I picked him up then using Makkari’s speed we raced towards the courtyard where the White tree stood and being brought in on a gurney by several guards was Faramir gravely wounded but his heart rang true.

I set Pippin down and raced up to Faramir and helped the guards set him down. I touched his forehead and could see that like his brother, he had two arrows lodged in his body one near his shoulder, and the other near his lower gut. Thankfully the guards were smart enough to not try and pull the arrows out completely otherwise he would’ve bled out.

“Faramir, Faramir can you hear me?”

“My lady he is dead.” Said one of the guards.

“No, he’s not. I can still hear his heartbeat. It’s faint but he’s still alive. We need to get him to a healer immediately!”

“Faramir?” we turned to see Denethor running out of the palace and across the courtyard. He pushed me out of the way and knelt before his son weeping, “Say not that he has fallen.”

“They were outnumbered. None survived.”

“That’s not true! We can still save him!” I tried to speak up.

“My sons are spent…..my line has ended. The house of the Stewards has failed……” Denethor tearfully whimpered as he staggered away from Faramir. I then saw Pippin go up to Faramir and he too saw what I had seen.

“He’s alive!” Pippin vouched for me.

“Please we must do something there is still hope. Denethor listen to us! Your son still lives!” I proclaimed.

“She’s right my lord he needs medicine.” Pippin agreed.

“My line has ended!” Denethor cried out tearfully. I clenched my hands into fists and stormed towards him but my anger soon turned to horror at what I saw before me.

A full battalion of orcs spreading out far and wide across the entire Pelennor fields. Not even the force that Saruman had sent to Isengard was as great as this. It was as if the entire fields had been covered in a blanket of shadow.

“Rohan…..has deserted us.” I heard Denethor mutter under his breath. I watched as the trolls readied the catapults with heavy boulders and they were soon fired by the orc launchers. The stones flew high towards the towers and I could hear the panicked screams of the people, not only guards but women and children. “Theoden’s betrayed me!” Denethor sneered under his breath.

No. No that’s not true! If anyone it’s your fault Denethor! You could’ve called out earlier but you had to resort Gandalf, Pippin and I to do your work for you like you’ve always had. I’m sorry Ecthelion, I truly am.

“Abandon your posts! FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!!” Alright that’s it! I suddenly appeared before Denethor and knife chopped him in the neck. He let out a gasped groan as he grabbed his neck. I snarled and then using Makkari’s special move, I used my index and tall finger to disable Denethor by hitting all of his pressure points to paralyze him.

It may have looked like an overkill but by the time I was done with him, he looked like a writhing mess on the floor and all that could be heard from him was a choked gurgle.

“PREPARE FOR BATTLE!! RETURN TO YOUR POSTS!!” I used my Celestial voice to boom across the entire city to make sure that the guards knew where they stood now. I turned to Gandalf who was also looking down at Denethor with disgust but when he looked at me, he nodded firmly.

I shifted to Ikaris’ uniform and flew off to help prepare the soldiers for battle. I landed along the walls at the Gate and told the soldiers.

“You will either take orders from me or the White Wizard. Your Steward has chosen to abandon your city. You are all soldiers of Gondor! Will you flee and allow your home to burn and your families be slaughtered or will you stand and fight!?” the soldiers all withdrew their bows and arrows readying for the attack I would give them.

My hands slowly glew with star bolts and I flew just a few feet from them and I told them to ready themselves. As the orcs drew closer I told them to hold, hold, hold until I shouted.

“RAIN FIRE!!!” The archers then unleashed a rain of arrows down upon any and all orcs that came near the gates while I fired my star bolts at them. This time (and from what I’ve seen of my Starlight kin in the past), when I fired my star bolts it was like an explosion had been set off from underneath their feet. “Don’t you dare let a single one of these foul creatures get one scratch on those doors!” I proclaimed as I kept firing a rain of star bolts upon each and every orc that came near the gates.

Suddenly I felt a burning sensation from behind my eyes. I grunted and tried to rub the feeling away but it kept getting burning brighter and brighter until finally……ZAP!! Star bolts came out of my eyes right at one of the towers which exploded underneath my power.

The burning sensation soon went away and I had recalled. Only Ikaris and Cain were able to do this special move and together they were an unstoppable pair whenever they were able to do this move. They had called it ‘Starlight’s Gazer-beam’. A beam of powerful light that comes out of both eyes but it was as powerful and deadly as dragon-fire.

I smirked deviously and turned my attention back to the orcs. I could hear most that had witnessed what I had done, their hearts racing in fear. My entire body glew brighter but that’s when the sounds of the Nazgul came from above.

This time all nine of them had come to battle, including the Witch King himself. I turned to the guards and proclaimed to them.

“Show them no mercy!” I flew towards the sky and felt my eyes burning once more and I shot a starlight gazer-beam right towards Angmar himself. He swerved his fellbeast aside completely dodging my attack by a hair and turned his attention towards me.

The dark aura of his very spirit had my entire body shaking but I had to do this. I knew he was the greatest threat to this kingdom, so if I take out the head of the snake, we’ll have a slight advantage without his dark magic affecting this city. Plus this fight was personal, he already took Anor I wasn’t going to let him take Gondor too.

The Witch King and I stared each other down as my body continued to glow and shimmer like a star as both fear and rage boiled inside of me like an unknown mixture of stew. I then flew towards him at great speed as I let out a Celestial battle cry which echoed through the entire sky. While at the same time, Angmar urged his fellbeast towards me, screeching out his agonizing shriek wielding his Morgul blade.

I crossed my arms sending out a beam of light towards him, stirring him off course and fired a star bolt right at his back. He turned and urged his fellbeast to follow me. I took them high above the city but down towards the orc armies. As low as I could go whilst exploding through the orc armies to hopefully give Gondor a fighting chance. Angmar used his fellbeast to try and grab me but I fired multiple star bolts right into it’s mouth and face which forced it to rear itself inward and I took off flying back up into the sky.

A few seconds later, Angmar reappeared through the clouds with his flaming sword in hand now and I readied my own attack. My eyes once again feeling that burning sensation until I fully let it out and it hit straight at Angmar’s flaming sword. If I could somehow destroy that, it should lessen some of his powers. If you had to ask me for most powerful weapons, in order I’d tell you it was his famed Morgul blade, followed by his Flaming sword and then his mace.

He blocked himself with his flaming sword, just like I had hoped he would. I increased the power of my Starlight gazer-beam, crying out in rage, regret, and sorrow at all the lives he had taken back at Anor. However I could feel, the power of his sword starting to push my power back towards me.

My body shook and trembled but I tried to push on until finally with a flash of light I was sent falling back towards the city where I had crashed through the White tower of Ecthelion. I slammed through one side of the tower and actually came out the other side until I was skipping and going across the upper courtyard near the palace.

“HELA!!” I let out a groan as I felt small hands grip onto my shoulders. “Miss Hela? Hela?!” I opened my eyes to see Pippin hovering over me and he said in relief, “You’re okay!” he immediately embraced me and that’s when I saw Gandalf running up towards me. Fear suddenly took over me as I told him.

“He’s too powerful. Not even with Ikaris’ power can I stop the Witch King.” Gandalf and Pippin looked at me in despair and horror respectively.

“You will help us with the orcs and trolls. The Nazgul—will have to wait. These men need a commanding officer. They need you Hela.” Gandalf told me. I nodded and grunted in pain as I stood up and returned to my own Celestial armor and summoned Aeglos to my hand.

“Pippin, you wait here and guard the palace. If there is a breach, the city will need you to defend it from harm.” I told him. Pippin nodded and withdrew his sword showing me that he was ready to do his duty as Guard of the Citadel.

“Be careful Hela.” I nodded then both Gandalf and I raced off to command the soldiers of Gondor throughout the battle.

By the time the sun was setting in the West and the first signs of nightfall were upon us, the battle was still raging onward. According to Gandalf the lower levels had been breached, now my main objective was to get the women and children up to the second level. Using Makkari’s speed, I grabbed as many women and children as possible to race them out of harms way before the orc armies could flood into this part of the city.

Once everyone was through, we barred the gates of the second level and I said to some of the guards.

“Gather every bowmen you’ve got left and get them into these buildings, the orcs won’t suspect a surprise attack from the tops of civilian homes. And make sure they barricade the homes once there inside.”

“Yes my lady Celestial.”

“HELA!! HELA!!!” I heard Pippin’s voice calling out to me. Through the panicked crowd I couldn’t see my young hobbit friend but as I pushed through them I finally caught sight of him.

“PIP!!” I called out to him. He raced over to me and cried through the panicked screams.

“Denethor has lost his mind! He’s burning Faramir alive!” my eyes widened.

“Tell me where and hold on!” I picked him up and using Makkari’s speed, we quickly raced to where Denethor had taken Faramir to be burned. But we were stopped by a few guards who sported armor with anti-Celestial runes. I narrowed my eyes and reverted back to my normal armor, my hearing coming back instantly as the leading guard said to me.

“You cannot take another step Celestial Hela, by order of the Steward of Gondor.”

“Clearly you can see that your Steward has gone completely mad! His son is alive and you’re willing to let Faramir be burned alive?! If not then you lot are about as mad as Denethor has become.”

“Hela,” Pippin said to me but I shushed him.

“If you choose to fight us we’ll have no choice but to use extreme measures.” Said the leading guard.

“Hela.” Pippin now began tugging on my trousers like a child demanding attention.

“I’ve fought with worse beings than you lot.”

“Hela!”

“What Peregrin Took!?” I snapped at him.

“There’s something you need to know about these guys.”

“If it’s about the Celestial runes on their armor I can see that Pippin.”

“No, it’s about Haldir.” I froze. I looked down at Pippin and whispered.

“You can’t say his real name here Pippin.”

“Hela, they already know. Haven’t you noticed how he didn’t come to help aid in the fight?” I thought back. Now that he mentioned it, I hadn’t even been able to detect Haldir’s heartbeat within the city at all. “I’m sorry Hela, but—they somehow found out and took him.”

“And you’re sure it was these men here?” I asked lowly.

“I saw it with my own eyes. I even heard someone else’s voice. It was—it frightened me. It was both warm yet unsettling and I swore I saw Haldir’s eyes glow red at one point.” Red eyes? Deimos! I turned to the men and demanded.

“What have you men to say against these allegations? Are they true? Did you apprehend an Elf earlier today?”

“We have no idea what you’re talking about.” Said the leader. Oh they want to play this game, okay I’ll play along.

I lifted my hand as it glowed black with my own magic and all the men lurched forward in agony as they gripped their chests in pain.

“Don’t make me ask twice!” I threatened in a low, menacing tone.

*3rd Person POV*

Over at Minas Morgul, now that the Witch king and the armies of Mordor had finally cleared the fortress, there was no one left but four people. Nergal who was sitting with a Morgul blade in his hand, Perses who stood along the balcony with his arms crossed looking outward towards Gondor, and Deimos stood with a blood stained dagger in his hand and standing right before him in wires was Haldir.

His upperbody stained with blood, bruises, and scars. The wires Haldir had been bounded by were unlike anything he had ever seen or heard of before. With each struggle or even movement he made, the wires would dig into his skin like a knife causing not only pain but discomfort. And they also seemed to get tighter with each movement he made.

“I’ll admit, I’ve had my fill but now I’m growing bored, why can’t we just kill this Elfling and be done with him already?” Deimos said.

“What good is he to us if he’s dead? We want him alive for Hela’s arrival.” Nergal said. That’s when Perses’ brow rose up and he moved toward the balcony and he said in a low menacing growl.

“It’s happening.” Deimos and Nergal turned to him. “Can’t you feel it? She’s finally giving in.” Deimos smelled the air and exhaled pleasurable and said with a menacing grin.

“He’s right, I can smell her rage from here. And she’s close, so very close to spilling that blood in raw rage.”

“Seems you were right Perses, all she needed was that extra little push.”

“Soon the Celestial of Death will arrive and she’ll be at our mercy. Then all of Middle Earth shall bow before us.” Perses then let out a menacing cackle which echoed through the mountains surrounding Minas Morgul.

Back at Gondor, Pippin stood there terrified at seeing Hela, the woman he came to admire as a sister figure suddenly become this raging, terrifying deity who didn’t seem to show any mercy. The men had now been submitted to unspeakable torture thanks to Hela’s own magic.

They were all now writing in agony on the floor as it had felt like they were burning from the inside out.

“You tell me where he is now!?” with a flick upward of her wrist the men were now levitating upside down, the blood quickly rushing to their heads but they also felt their own hearts slowly stopping as Hela’s hand slowly closed into a fist.

“ALRIGHT WE’LL TELL YOU!!” proclaimed one of the other guards.

“YES WE’LL TELL YOU ANYTHING! PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON US!!” exclaimed another guard. Hela put those two men down and as they let out a long gasp of air before coughing, they were suddenly dragged forward towards Hela and she gripped their throats and demanded.

“Talk.”

“Lord Perses suspected of an Elf being in this city. He had ordered all of us to be on the lookout and if we were to find it, we had to surrender it to them.”

“Haldir is not an IT!” Hela’s voice got low before growling menacingly as she squeezed the guard’s throat tightly.

“My apologizes my lady!” he choked out.

“Where did you take him?!” she growled.

“To Minas Morgul.” Said the other guard she had in her grasp. “He said if we found the Elf, to take him there. We don’t know what they had planned for him there! We swear!” Hela released their throats and stood still. As the men coughed and quickly ran as fast as they could away screaming in fear, Pippin looked up to Hela.

“Hela? A-are you—okay?” suddenly the ground began to shake. The men Hela still had hanging upside down, had finally been released from their spell and called out a retreat. The whole city soon began to shake as if an earthquake was about to bring the city to the ground. Pippin turned to Hela to see her hands had clenched up so hard, that her knuckles not only grew white but blood was dripping from her palm.

Her hair began to raise up and wave like a banner and her eyes suddenly glew a pure white and she let out a scream. Like when she had her ‘Celestial roar’ back during the Battle of the Five armies when Thorin betrayed her trust.

However unlike before when her power was nulled, this time the full wrath of the Celestial’s roar could be heard. And with Hela’s powers increased tenfold since then, it shook the entire kingdom of Gondor.

And when both men and orcs heard her scream, they thought at first it was a Nazgul scream however unlike theirs, it was more raw, more painful, and more angrier than theirs. Everyone had no choice but to cover their ears less they wish to have their very ears explode off their face.

Her black magic began to surround her like a hurricane as she was lifted up into the sky. Pippin held on for dear life as he watched in heartbreak and horror at Hela’s powers become erratic and unstable. He let out a grunt as he tried to walk towards her through the powerful winds that her magic was bringing about.

When he found her, he reached up and grabbed her ankle as her head immediately faced towards him, a contorted face of pure rage stared down at him, almost like she didn’t even recognize him. But Pippin held firm as he pulled on her leg till she came down, when she came to her knees he immediately embraced her as tight as he could hoping that it would bring her out of this rageful state.

Then as quick as it had occurred, her magic vanished and all went still and quiet once again. Hela’s glowing eyes reverted back to her normal eye color and said wept.

“It’s all my fault.”

“Go after him.” Hela turned to the young hobbit. “I understand now. Back in Lothlorien, why you were away from us that whole time we were there. And what you had told Merry and I when we rested near those falls about your failed relationship. It was him wasn’t it? Haldir is the elf you love and still love.”

“I can’t go to Minas Morgul. That place it—they know that’s the one place I can never go to.”

“But you love him, and he loves you. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come back to you, right?” Pippin wiped away her fallen tears. “A Celestial goes to where they are needed, and that right now is with Haldir. Go after him.” Hela embraced Pippin and he gave her a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll find Gandalf, thanks to what you did you might’ve spared us some time. Not even Denethor could’ve ignored that.” Hela softly chuckled but then stood up and turned to Minas Morgul. She shifted into Makkari’s armor and she quickly raced out of the city and ran towards Minas Morgul.

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whatstruthgottodowithit · 7 months

Text

The Other Evans Girl [Part Ten]

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauder’s Era]

Pairing: Sirius Black x Original Female Character, Sirius Black x Daisy Evans, James Potter x Lily Evans

Characters: Sirius Black, Original Female Character, Daisy Evans, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange, Walburga Black, Orion Black, Jasper Thicknesse, Barty Crouch Jr, Mulciber, Walden McNair

Word Count: 6882

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hogwarts is a safe haven, a home for many, but it’s often a place where heartache, love and complex emotions dwell and none know that better than the Marauders. Lily Evans just wants to make it out as a successful witch though the oncoming war and the ongoing advances of James Potter threaten that. Daisy Evans, her twin, has other goals. Join the Evans sisters as they make their way through Hogwarts, prepare for war and eventually find love.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, Friends, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Marauder’s Era, Teenage Angst, Babies, Weddings, Dating, Crying, Loss of Virginity, First Wizarding War, Love, Kissing, Teenagers, James Potter is a bit of a dick, Hogsmeade, 1970s, Fighting, Loss of Parents, Grief, Babies, Injuries, Gore, Harm, Christmas, The Potter’s Mansion // Daisy’s Dress // NYE Lily’s Dress // NYE Daisy’s Dress // Lily’s Ring // Daisy’s Ring

LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST // LINK TO ALL PARTS

Halloween came quickly after their meeting and since Severus had done nothing further to let her in on whatever he thought the boys were up Daisy was a bundle of nerves. Her nerves were reflected in the way she dressed unusually quickly the morning of Halloween, eager to see if she could catch him before breakfast. It was a move that made Lily eye her curiously but she ignored her and they made their way downstairs finding the Great Hall virtually empty.

‘I can’t wait for the party tonight,’ Alice said as she sat down and grabbed a couple of pieces of toast. ‘Me too actually,’ Lily said. ‘Have you got your costume together?’ Marlene asked given that their quest last weekend to Hogsmeade hadn’t reaped much meaning each of them had been relying on owl post to get the finishing touches together. ‘Yeah,’ Daisy said, she had been fortunate, having picked a devil all she had had to do was find a red dress and a pair of horns which she’d even managed to charm into looking more realistic. ‘I still can’t get my wig quite right,’ Lily said which caused Marlene to dive into an explanation about how she could get anyone’s hair right with an intense combination of spells and Sleekeazy's Hair Potion and that she would set to work after their classes. Daisy wasn’t really listening to them anymore she was looking at Severus who was facing her way but speaking to someone she didn’t recognise. Watching him she felt her nerves bubble again. She wasn’t going to see him till tonight and the only time they had spent together had had Lily involved so she had no chance to speak to him properly. If she was going to feel more settled about the whole thing she needed to talk to him.

‘You alright Dais?’ Lily said watching her sister as she stared into the middle distance. ‘Yeah fine,’ Daisy said, ‘I’m just gonna go talk to Sev okay?’ ‘Why?’ Lily asked curiously. ‘I leant him some quills the other day and he’s not given them back to me,’ she lied. Lily’s eyes narrowed but Daisy didn’t wait for any questions as she quickly rose from her seat and walked around to the Slytherin table. Severus looked up as she got to the table as did his friend. She recognised him though he couldn’t recall his name and she was sure he wasn’t in their year, perhaps a couple below. His blonde hair fell in his eyes as he looked at her but she could still see how they narrowed as he took her in.

‘Hey Sev,’ she said sitting down. ‘No one said you could sit there,’ the blonde boy sneered. ‘Good job I didn’t ask anyone then,’ she retorted. ‘Leave us for a minute, Barty,’ Severus mumbled. The blond-haired boy’s eyes went dark at the boy’s words but he said nothing and instead got up and moved down the table out of earshot. ‘What’s his problem?’ Daisy asked. ‘He’s not a big fan of,’ Severus paused as if realising his words. ‘Of?’ Daisy pressed. ‘…muggleborns,’ he finished. Daisy’s stomach flip-flopped. Of course, she knew of the supremacy some purebloods felt over their blood status but she’d been fortunate not to have experienced anything negative the fact that Severus spent time with him considering his ties with Lily and Daisy made her feel uneasy. ‘Oh,’ she said quietly. ‘Ignore him,’ he said brushing her feelings aside, ‘what did you want?’ ‘I want to know what’s happening tonight. Have you found out anything more?’ she asked. Severus’ face broke into a smile as he nodded though he didn’t offer any information. ‘Well?’ she asked. ‘It’s just a hunch,’ he shrugged, ‘we’ll see if we’re right tonight.’ ‘When?’ Daisy questioned. ‘They said they weren’t going to be at the feast right? So I say we meet in the entrance hall at half five,’ he said. ‘Right,’ she agreed, ‘wait, what do I say to Lily?’ ‘Just say you’re meeting me?’ he shrugged. Daisy shook her head. ‘No way. She’ll either want to come or force me to tell her what we’re doing and ban me from doing it,’ she said. ‘Then think of an excuse… because it has to be tonight,’ Severus said seriously. Daisy nodded though the way his demeanour changed made her feel uneasy.

The day passed as slow as could be expected. After her little rendezvous with Severus Lily kept giving her sister suspicious looks and though Daisy tried to ignore them she felt on edge. Throughout her lessons, Daisy tried to spy on James and his friends but as karma would have it today was the day they spent mostly in electives, which meant she only shared a class with them every so often.

Eventually, school finished and everyone raced back to their common rooms in order to prepare for the feast and the parties that were sure to follow in each house. As soon as the bell rang for the end of the day Daisy rushed back to her room hoping that she’d be able to change and get downstairs without Lily’s scrutiny. Yet when she got back to the dormitory she found her roommates had beaten her to it and were gathered around one bed working on Lily’s wig. They barely even looked up as Daisy mumbled a greeting and raced into the bathroom, yet as she emerged having had a shower and dressed into casual clothes she found Lily was on her immediately.

‘Aren’t you wearing your costume?’ Lily asked standing up as she took in the jeans and t-shirt her sister was now sporting. Daisy looked down at her outfit, stalling for an excuse given that in her haste she’d forgotten she’d not thought of a reason why she wasn’t going to the feast. ‘No… I didn’t think we were wearing them to the feast,’ Daisy said. ‘Frank and his friends are,’ Alice chimed in. ‘Yeah, let’s show them what we’re bringing,’ Marlene said, twirling around in her costume so that Daisy could see. Daisy had to admit as costumes went it was pretty impressive given that her angel costume had a real-life halo floating above her head, illuminating her pretty features and making her look radiant as always. ‘Yeah,’ Daisy said though she couldn’t think of dressing up as Severus’ words still rang in her ears. With that she sat down on her bed a little heavier than intended.

‘You alright?’ Alice asked from the bed opposite her. ‘Yeah, just feeling a bit rubbish is all,’ Daisy said, fiddling with her costume that was laid out on her bed. ‘You were alright this morning,’ Lily said suspiciously as she started slipping on her wig. Her gingham dress and ruby slippers were laid out on her bed. Ever the bibliophile Lily had opted for a book character, Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. ‘I know,’ Daisy said, ‘I started feeling a little unwell in ancient runes.’ ‘I didn’t notice,’ Lily said. ‘Well sorry I don’t tell you every time I feel a bit iffy,’ Daisy snapped. ‘I’m sure it’s nothing,’ Alice said trying to diffuse the tension that settled in the air immediately.

Fortunately it worked though the twins figured her case was supported given that Alice was sporting a pair of whiskers and charmed mouse ears. Lily giggled and moved to hug her sister with one arm as she muttered, ‘sorry Dais.’ ‘It’s alright. I just hope I feel better for the feast. I’ve hardly eaten today to save room,’ she chuckled. ‘That’s probably why then!’ Alice said. ‘She had a full pie and chips at lunchtime I doubt that’s it,’ Marlene giggled. ‘Alright, alright,’ Daisy said. ‘Why don’t you nip to Madam Pomfrey?’ Lily suggested, ‘she might be able to give you some pepper up potion that’ll get you right for the party.’ ‘Good idea Lil,’ Daisy said standing up and trying not to seem too eager above the excuse her sister had provided. Once she had tucked her wand into her pocket she then headed to the door grabbing a jacket as she went. ‘See you at the feast, yeah?’ she said. She heard the girls’ shouts as she closed the door behind her and headed down to meet Severus.

He was pacing in the entrance hall when she got down there though he looked up as she came down the stairs rushing to meet her in an instant. He looked nervous and so was she though she just thanked her lucky stars that there was no one around to see them. Where the hall was normally full of students heading to dinner tonight it was empty, most people probably spending extra time putting finishing touches to their outfits.

‘Hi,’ she said meekly though it was cut off as they heard movement in the Great Hall, Severus’ whipping his head around to check they weren’t going to be caught loitering. As he looked away she took a moment to take him in. His black hair hung limply around his face, unmoving, though his robes billowed behind him, the gust from under the front door was enough to move the black material. Daisy frowned, wondering why he hadn’t changed from his uniform until he turned back, creating enough of a gap to see that he was wearing pants and a simple black jumper. And though she didn’t know why she suddenly felt underdressed.

‘Hi,’ she repeated hoping he’d reply to her this time. ‘Hey,’ he replied. ‘Have you seen them?’ she asked. He shook his head and then suddenly he grabbed her arm and moved her over to the broom cupboard near the steps to the dungeon before quickly opening the door and forcing her inside. ‘Sev what are you doing?’ she asked wrenching her arm out of his grasp as she turned to face him. ‘They’re going to be coming through here, I’m sure,’ he said obliviously. ‘Okay but is there any reason to manhandle me,’ she snapped dusting off her jacket. Severus mumbled an apology but then went to the door and cracked it open so they could see the entire entrance hall. ‘So what now?’ she asked. ‘We wait,’ he said simply. She was still miffed at being jostled into the cupboard but as she thought about she realised he was right. If they were going to go anywhere it was most likely going to be via here and if someone saw them hiding they’d no doubt be rumbled. And so she accepted her fate and nodded, moving to find an upturned mop bucket so that she could sit down. As Severus stood by the cracked door, his eye pressed to it, Daisy sighed realising it was going to be a long night.

✵✵✵

Daisy’s bum was numb. She had been sitting on the mop bucket for nearly two hours with Severus kneeling in front of her, faring no better. From his vantage point, he had seen the hordes of students come from all directions and filter into the great hall leaving the entrance hall empty again.

‘Sev, we’re missing the feast and for nothing,’ Daisy whined. ‘They’ll come okay,’ he said, his gaze still transfixed to the crack in the door. ‘What makes you so sure that they’ll even come through here? I mean they could be doing anything, anywhere in the castle and we’re sat here like lemons. I’m starving-’ Daisy started though she cut off as Severus held a hand up in front of her, shushing her quickly. Looking through the gap Severus heard the clack of heels on the stone floor before he saw a flurry of green robes appear. McGonagall appeared from the great hall, closing the door behind her as Daisy got to her knees, peering over Severus’ shoulder as the head of house spoke.

‘Ah Mr Lupin, I thought I’d missed you for a moment,’ she said, a kind smile that Daisy had never seen before gracing her face. Daisy heard Remus speak before she saw him landing at the bottom of the steps in front of the woman she was watching. ‘Sorry Professor,’ he said, ‘I left the dormitory later than planned.’ ‘Well, no bother,’ she said, putting a tender hand on his shoulder for a moment before she seemed to bethink herself and straighten up adding, ‘come on before it gets too late.’ ‘Okay professor,’ Remus said following her as she started to walk towards the big double doors which they left through quietly. ‘What now?’ Daisy whispered as if they were going to hear her though they were long gone. ‘Hang on,’ Severus said. Daisy sunk back onto her heels. What was the point? They had been looking for something suspicious, an activity they could use as leverage with a teacher but it seemed that whatever they were involved in already involved one anyway which kind of thwarted the idea. Not to mention whatever Remus was up to seemed to have McGonagall acting almost maternal which in itself was weird.

After about five minutes, McGonagall returned through the double doors and quickly walked through the hall and back into the great hall as if she were never gone. There was a snapshot of sound as the doors opened and Daisy could hear the rabble and raucousness of the feast she was missing. It made her want to give up on this madness, to forget they’d even bothered trying to get one over on Potter and his gang. In fact, she was just about to tell Severus to hang it up when there was a sound of footsteps on the stairs and though she couldn’t see anyone as she peered over her friend’s head she could hear the sound of whispered arguing.

‘You’re on my foot Wormtail,’ came a low voice she faintly recognised. ‘Sorry, ow,’ came the reply. ‘Shut it you two before Filch comes running,’ came another voice. The voices were closer now but Daisy still couldn’t see them. Her mind drifted back to her date in her third year with James. The invisibility cloak. At the time she hadn’t known what it was but after a Lily style research period she had learned of the existence of such things, hence why they got away with so much stuff. ‘It’s them,’ she whispered. Severus nodded in front of her keeping his eye trained on the doors. ‘Are we covered?’ one of the voices said, Sirius if she had to guess. ‘Yeah, doors are closed,’ came a squeaky reply, Peter, definitely. ‘Right come on then,’ the final voice which she could only assume to be James said. Suddenly, the three boys appeared from nowhere in front of the front doors of the castle. Sirius pushed his hair out of his eyes whilst James tucked the cloak up and stuffed it in his jacket pocket. Peter seemed to be nursing a knock to the eye which Daisy assumed was the cause of the ‘ow’. Whilst Sirius and Peter kept an eye out in either direction James opened one of the double doors slowly and as quietly as possible, holding it open and allowing his friends to duck through the small gap before following them and closing it behind him with a small ‘thunk’.

‘Come on,’ Severus said standing up and opening the door to the broom cupboard. ‘Won’t they see us?’ Daisy asked, biting her lip as they exited. ‘When do they pay attention to anyone but themselves?’ Severus said bitterly as he stretched out his aching muscles. Daisy could feel a twinge in her back from sitting for so long but she ignored it as she tried to keep pace with Severus. They were at the front door within seconds, Severus opening it as quietly as James had and allowing Daisy to duck out first.

The air was crisp and cool against Daisy’s face, a comfort after spending hours cramped up in a cupboard. Given that the sun had set hours earlier the courtyard was barren of light, the only illumination coming from the castle windows as even the moon hadn’t appeared yet, bus she could see the figures of the boys as they disappeared down the trail that led off the bridge out of the grounds. However they didn’t follow in that direction automatically. Instead Daisy followed Severus as he walked to the edge of the courtyard no doubt scouting for a better view. They were a way down the path now, their chatter floating back up in their direction though she couldn’t make out their words clearly. Still they didn’t move and instead watched as they carried on towards the Whomping Willow. It was only when they passed Hagrid’s hut did Severus start walking, convinced they were far enough away that they wouldn’t see the pair behind them.

‘Where are they going?’ Daisy whispered curiously though Severus didn’t say anything in response. His face was frosty and his jaw taut as he stormed ahead forcing her to go at a jogging pace to keep up. The small breeze ruffled his hair and robes but he didn’t seem to care, as he was focused on the task at hand. It made Daisy feel uneasy but she didn’t say anything and soon enough they were walking past Hagrid’s cabin and towards the long grass that ran along the side of the Whomping Willow. It was only when they got within a hundred yards of the tree did Daisy realise the boys had stopped, standing in front of it as if waiting for something.

‘Get down,’ Severus said, forcing her down behind the long grass as James took a precautionary glance around the grounds. He didn’t see her though she wasn’t sure how as they were close enough that she could hear him as he took out his wand and shouted, ‘immobulus.’ At his command the Whomping Willow’s vigorous limbs slowed but didn’t stop which made her suspect whatever charm they’d used wouldn’t hold for long. It wasn’t until Peter jogged forward and pushed a large knot on the front of the tree did the branches fall completely still, allowing the boys to get closer. Daisy poked her head up, hoping if they looked around her blonde locks would blend in with the dry grass she was knelt in, and watched as the three of them rushed forward, towards a gap in the roots of the tree, climbing into it and out of sight. Daisy’s eyes bugged in their sockets as they vanished. It wasn’t a big hole, and yet all three boys fit perfectly inside and didn’t return even after a couple of minutes. Questions bounced around in her brain. What were they doing? Where did they go? Yet she didn’t have time to ponder on her questions as she was yanked up from the long grass by Severus who then led her towards the Whomping Willow’s gaping hole.

‘We don’t have much time,’ he mumbled as he uttered another staying charm over the plant. ‘What do you mean?’ she said, allowing herself to be dragged forward by his non-wand hand. ‘We’ve got to follow them,’ he said as if it were self-explanatory. She was by no means a coward, but the idea of climbing into the unknown through a violent tree’s roots filled her with some trepidation. ‘We don’t know what’s in there,’ Daisy reasoned. ‘I’ve got a hunch,’ Severus said truthfully, ‘but we can’t prove anything if we don’t see it, yeah?’ ‘Sev,’ she hesitated earning an expectant look from her friend. Daisy looked at the hole and then at her friend’s serious face. She knew he had a point and they’d come this far. Not to mention all this secrecy meant whatever it was had to be big right? Expulsion worthy and that was what they both wanted. So, ignoring the knot in her stomach she nodded and followed Severus as he climbed inside the large hole and disappeared out of sight. It was dark and dirty inside the hole and Daisy winced as she felt along the wall to pull herself up from where she had fallen on her knees. The drop wasn’t a big one but she hadn’t been sure of how far down she was going and had over-prepared which toppled her over.‘It’s a tunnel,’ Severus whispered seemingly not noticing she had fallen. Or not caring. ‘To where?’ she said. ‘I have an idea,’ he said though he didn’t elaborate further. Instead, he just lit up the tip of his wand and started walking ahead. He was right, it was a tunnel and from the state of it, Daisy guessed it was deep underground. She followed Severus through the long winding tunnel wondering just where it led to and trying to ignore the sickly feeling in her stomach. She couldn’t hear the boys anywhere and she could barely see anything past Severus’ wand tip.

After walking what felt like forever Daisy could finally see a fuzzy patch of light in the distance and as they got closer it got bigger until finally, they were at the entrance to a room. Severus stepped into it followed by Daisy who had only just realised she had been clinging to the back of his robes. The room wasn’t big and was comprised mostly of an old rickety staircase and a couple of doors on the ground floor but they had been boarded up so no one could enter in or out with the tunnel seeming to be the only entrance.

‘Sev,’ Daisy said trying to hide the nerves in her voice, ‘where are we?’ ‘I think we’re in the shrieking shack,’ Severus said calmly though whatever attention had had been paying her disappeared as his head snapped upwards, to where a noise had come from above them. There was movement somewhere upstairs and Severus wasted no time in investigating. As he crept quietly up the stairs Daisy followed behind reluctantly. He seemed to be eager to get to whatever was going on up there but she was still trying to take in the fact they were in the shrieking shack, her eyes roving over every inch of the building. The walls were decorated with wallpaper that had long since faded and was even missing in some places. The only light a barren bulb above them which seemed to be trying it’s hardest to offer a dim flicker. And the staircase was in disrepair, the wood now grey from grime and it had several scratches all over the steps and spindles. Just looking at it Daisy wondered how it was even supporting the weight of the two of them yet the staircase seemed to notice her mocking as it let out an almighty creak as her foot hit the next step. Daisy winced, mouthing an apology as Severus whipped around and glared at her, pausing for a moment to make sure it hadn’t been loud enough to capture any attention before he continued upwards, Daisy following behind him until they reached the landing.

Like downstairs, there were only two rooms. The double doors in front of them were shut but the other door was ajar so that she could see inside enough to know it was a bathroom. There was a grime-stained sink just beyond the door and the tiled floor looked just as manky. She dreaded to think what the toilet looked like. Yet her attention was caught from thinking of grubby lavatories as she heard voices just beyond the door. Severus was just in front of her, his ear pressed gently against it so he could hear though Daisy had no trouble from a foot away.

‘Are you sure it will work?’ came a soft, unsure voice. Remus. ‘Mate, we’ve been practising for ages,’ a louder voice Daisy recognised as James’. ‘And we’re pretty good,’ a lower voice said. Sirius. ‘But what if you get-’ Remus started. ‘We understand the risks,’ James said cutting him off. ‘Yes, we understand the risks. Yes, we hope it will help. Yes we know it’s not a dead cert,’ Sirius said. ‘But we give anything a go,’ a different voice, she assumed was Peter, chirped. ‘Right,’ Remus said, ‘but you promise at the first sign of trouble you’re out of here?’ ‘We promise mother,’ James teased. ‘What are they doing?’ Daisy whispered. ‘I don’t know,’ Severus snapped. ‘I was only asking,’ she replied defensively leaning in to hear better. ‘How long does it take?’ James said nervously. ‘Usually a few hours,’ Remus said, ‘depends on the month.’ ‘So what if we can’t hold it?’ Sirius said. ‘You get out,’ Remus said. ‘Wormtail, you transform first. You can hold out the longest,’ James instructed. Peter replied with something she couldn’t make out. ‘I’ll go next,’ Sirius said. ‘Then me…just in case there are teething problems,’ James said. ‘Teething problems are the least of our worries,’ Remus said. He was further away now, so much so Daisy could barely hear him. James too seemed distant when he spoke next. ‘Come on mate, it’ll work. We’ve been working on this for months,’ James said. ‘Yeah I can hold my other form for nearly a day now,’ Peter added. ‘And as we go we’ll all be able to make it a bit longer,’ James said. ‘And then we’ll be the best damn anamagi you could want with you,’ Sirius chipped in. ‘Ready Wormtail?’ James said. There was a scuffling noise and then a small cheer from the boys but Daisy wasn’t paying attention.

Anamagi.

Daisy tried to place the word. She recognised it from one of her lessons but she couldn’t pull it from where. Severus seemed to have no trouble realising what they were talking about as his face broke into a devious grin.

‘We’ve got them now,’ he said and before Daisy could protest he burst in through the double doors.

Daisy heard the commotion before she saw it and by the time she had followed Severus into what she discovered was a bedroom she was confronted by four boys all holding up their wands.

‘Evans?!’ James said, disbelief on his face as she appeared from behind the door. Daisy paused, lingering behind Severus as she took the scene in. James was standing by the bed, his wand up towards Severus, whilst Sirius and Peter stood behind him holding the same stance. Remus however was sitting on the dusty old bed, looking grief stricken at their appearance in the room. ‘What are you doing here?’ Sirius spat. ‘I knew you were up to something. And I knew it was bad but this is beyond anything I could have thought,’ Severus said. ‘I don’t doubt that you have trouble comprehending things Snivellus but you need to leave now,’ Sirius replied. It was a dig of course but from the way his grey eyes were now almost black with fury Daisy didn’t doubt the seriousness behind his words. The look alone made her shrink back behind her friend, tugging at his sleeve as she said, ‘Sev we should go.’ ‘No!’ the black-haired boy shouted and though he was speaking to her he kept his gaze forward determined not to be ambushed by any of them as she continued, ‘I came to prove they were up to no good and I’m not leaving till I’ve got proof!’ ‘James,’ Remus said unevenly, cutting whatever ranting Severus was doing off. In fact he didn’t even seem to be paying attention to Severus, no, he looked more concerned with the fact he was now pumping sweat, something Daisy could see even though she was across the room. She watched him push his now damp sandy blonde hair from his face with a tremoring hand, looking as though his sole focus was on not throwing up. Unfortunately for the boy though James didn’t pay him any attention as his focus was now on them as he started to move into the middle of the room. Sirius and Peter followed his lead placing themselves strategically as if they were circling the pair, blocking them from escaping.

‘What proof do you want Snivellus?’ Sirius spat, as he moved to the side of them, equal amount of distance from the door should they try and run. ‘Enough to take to Dumbledore. Or even better the minister for magic,’ Severus said with venom. At that Daisy’s eyes went wide. ‘The ministry?’ Daisy gasped, ‘Sev what-’ ‘Don’t you see? They’re animagi! They-’ ‘They transform into animals,’ Daisy said cutting him off as she finally recalled where she had learned the term before, a memory of Professor McGonagall turning herself into a cat in front of the class coming to mind. ‘So what?’ Peter said, snapping their attention to their other side, ‘it doesn’t affect you in any way.’ ‘No, but it is illegal. And I want to know why,’ Severus said. ‘It’s got nothing to do with you,’ James said, moving closer as did Sirius the pair of them forcing Severus towards the window at wand point. Daisy didn’t follow, opting to shrink back towards the wall, though she was stopped from fleeing as Peter took a stand by the door, his beady eyes watching her closely. ‘I disagree,’ Severus said unable to let any bravado go even if he was like a rat in a trap. ‘Sev, they’re breaking the rules, that’s good enough,’ Daisy said, ‘let’s just leave.’ ‘No, they’re doing it for a reason,’ he snapped. ‘Our motives have nothing to do with you, Snape,’ James said and for once Daisy agreed. They were breaking the rules, not only school rules but the law, that was good enough for her. They didn’t need anything else in fact all the needed to do now was get out of there. Though as she felt her back hit the wall she realised they weren’t going to be able to go anywhere, not without James, Sirius and Peter letting them. They were trapped.

‘Tell me why,’ Severus pressed. ‘You’re so clever, figure it out yourself,’ Sirius snapped. ‘I already know. I just want you to say it,’ Severus said darkly. ‘Why?’ James questioned. ‘So he can use his memories in a pensive,’ Remus said thickly. He was ashen now even paler than normal and his skin was gleaming with sweat and he was shaking. For a moment she wondered if he was ill, the sweat on his brow from a fever, but as she noted the way his knuckles were clenching at the bed frame so tightly it looked as though it was going to splinter beneath his grip she doubted that was the case. Whatever it was couldn’t have been good though as it immediately made Sirius drop his tirade against Severus and head to him, dropping to kneel beside his friend who attempted to push him away albeit weakly.

‘Moony,’ Sirius protested but Remus shook his head. ‘You hate us that much?’ James spat, and though her gaze stayed transfixed on Sirius and Remus she couldn’t help but listen. ‘You hate me too. Fairs fair,’ Severus retorted. ‘Not enough to do this. Run you out of school, damage your reputation in the wizarding world. Do you know what will happen if the school finds out about this? We’re helping him. It doesn’t hurt anyone…we wouldn’t ruin your life like this,’ James said. ‘You already have,’ Severus said, ‘you ruin it every day with your words, your actions-’ ‘Pads,’ Remus’ weak voice said. Sirius nodded, Daisy’s eyes not leaving him as he straightened up until she heard Severus say, ‘and I’m going to do the same to you. You and your little werewolf.’

With that James launched himself at Severus, breaking the glass behind him and knocking him to the floor as the two rolled around in a fistfight with Daisy watching the pair of them hopelessly trying to take in the boy’s words.

Werewolf.

Remus was a werewolf.

But this new information was something Daisy didn’t have time to dwell on because was a thunderous clatter from the bed. She turned to follow the noise but she didn’t see anything but the floor as she was knocked to the ground. The next thing she saw was Sirius’ grey eyes watching her with alarm.

‘Get under the bed,’ he ordered and Daisy didn’t argue. As he disappeared she crawled underneath the heavy wooden bed frame, watching what bits of the boys she could see move around the room. James and Severus were still fighting now, only the bottom of their legs visible from her hiding place. Yet as she took her focus off them she noted another pair of legs, furry and tremoring. Wolf’s legs.

Daisy’s heart turned to ice. For a moment she could hear Sirius trying to direct the situation but he was drowned out by a howl and then the room went into pandemonium. The wolf’s howl seemed to be a wake-up call and whatever debacle they’d been having seemed to be forgotten as they rushed into action. She couldn’t see their faces from under the bed but she heard James’ voice clear as day as he shouted, ‘Wormtail get him out.’ ‘Prongs you need to change,’ Sirius said, ‘I’ll get the girl.’

Daisy didn’t move but her heart started to beat a little slower as the wolf’s paw padded away from her, stalking its prey, the newly formed stag on the other side of the room. James had transformed and he was baiting his friend. As he lured the wolf down to the other end of the room, towards another door that led to the adjoining bathroom, Sirius appeared and yanked Daisy out from under the bed. Peter and Severus were now absent from the room, having been close to the door now she assumed they escaped, as Sirius was trying to get her to do.

‘Come on,’ he grunted, pulling her by her jacket sleeve towards the door. Given that she could barely see due to the dust that had settled in her eyes from under the bed she allowed him to drag her, trying to keep her focus on the flop of black hair in front of her. Fortunately he got her to the door within seconds pushing her roughly through it as he barked at her to run but just as he did he was bowled over, the wolf pouncing at them and taking him to the floor in front of her eyes. She fell too, the haphazardness of the attack taking her down onto the landing floor, just beyond the door. It stunned her, knocking the wind from her lungs which meant that when she attempted to move she found it agonising to do so. As she lay there she could hear the clatter of hooves on a tile floor but they seemed to be moving away from her towards the other side of the bathroom. Daisy couldn’t pay attention to the noise.

She didn’t have time.

Though she had barely caught her breath she pushed herself up off the floor, heading towards the stairs as quickly as she could, but her foot had no sooner touched the ground before it was off again. That wasn’t what she was focused on though. No, her focus was the white-hot pain that tore through her body as long claws sunk into her abdomen shredding her to ribbons as she tried to pull away. She pushed, kicking her feet and screaming as its head moved towards her, the wolf’s eyes glinting with excitement as he bared his teeth towards her ready to bite.

And then it was gone.

The chaos and fear of it all was gone, replaced by the only thing she could comprehend. Pain. Agony tore through every bone, every muscle, every cell of her body and she couldn’t make it stop.

Above her, the carnage continued. In an effort to stop Remus from biting her Sirius had transformed and attacked, bowling the wolf over and back into the bathroom as he loosened his grip on the girl. The wolf had been stunned, getting himself to his feet dazed and confused but before he could resume his attack both of the bathroom doors had slammed shut with James and Sirius holding them closed on the other side until they managed to get the locks hexed so that he couldn’t break free.

‘Pads,’ James said as he came around the doorway to the bedroom. He was bloodied, bruised and sure his nose was broken but alive. He flung his arms around Sirius, happy to see him alive as well even though he too looked bedraggled. Though as they broke apart realisation seemed to dawn on Sirius and he looked to the landing which was empty. His eyes trailed up to the banister railing which was now broken and splintered into a thousand pieces. He walked to the edge, his stomach in knots, and looked over to see the destruction below. It was carnage, bits of wood and debris littering the now broken staircase below, and in amongst it all Daisy.

‘Pads, what is it?’ James asked but the boy wasn’t listening. Instead, he was hurtling down the stairs hurriedly followed by James who took the stairs two at a time in an effort to catch up though as he reached the middle landing he wished he hadn’t. Daisy was laying a couple steps down, her body littered with wounds that gushed bright dark blood. James watched as Sirius knelt beside her, taking her arm to feel for a pulse which to his relief he found.

‘What happened?!’ James said kneeling on the other side of the girl, trying to keep his eyes trained on Sirius’ ashen face instead of the deep slashes that littered her abdomen and made him feel sick ‘I tried to get him off her,’ Sirius said guiltily feeling his gut churn. If only he’d knocked Remus the other way. Hell even if the two of them had gone over the banister he doubted either of them would’ve come off this badly. ‘It’s not your fault,’ James said seeing where the boy’s train of thought was going. ‘He threw her because of me,’ Sirius snapped. ‘She came here because of Snape. Not you,’ James said reaching out to put a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. Sirius didn’t say anything but he did offer a curt nod as if he accepted what his friend was saying. ‘What do we do? Should we get Dumbledore?’ James whispered. She was bleeding heavily and at least two of her limbs seemed to be protruding the opposite way from what they should but James didn’t know how to move her. The thud above them answered that question. The wolf was done pacing and was now trying to break free. ‘We don’t have time,’ Sirius said, ‘you get her legs. I’ll get her head.’ ‘Okay,’ James nodded, moving down the stairs and grabbing both of her legs with his hands, trying to ignore the squelch her ankle made when he moved it. ‘On the count of three,’ Sirius said, shifting his arms underneath her core trying to hold her as securely but as gently as he could. ‘Ready,’ James nodded. ‘One, two, three,’ Sirius said as the boys thrust her up and out of the debris. Upon movement Daisy’s face scrunched up in pain but she didn’t say anything and Sirius tried to ignore it as the guilt threatened to swirl up inside him once more.

Once they were on solid ground it was easier to move her and they managed to readjust her in a position that spread her weight out equally between them which meant her wounds slowed their incessant oozing. In the cajoling James managed to get his wand out and illuminate the tunnel so they could see where they were going. Sirius didn’t know if the path back to the castle had always been this long or it was made worse by the fact neither of them spoke but time seemed to pass slowly as they walked, careful not to do any more damage, but hurried to get to safety. They didn’t pass either Snape or Peter on the way back to the castle but as the lights got nearer they could hear the calamity of people ahead until finally they were immersed in chaos yet again. As they got to the courtyard several teachers spilled out of the castle, McGonagall and Dumbledore included, and Daisy seemed to rouse at their voices.

Sirius watched as her face creased in pain as she was fussed over. She didn’t waken though, not properly. She tried to, she tried to come back to consciousness long enough to scream in the hopes it would make them stop manhandling her but she couldn’t get her mouth to form any sort of sound. The last thing she remembered was opening her eyes and seeing two grey ones staring back at her. And then she blacked out.

SIRIUS BLACK/SERIES TAGS

@maeisafangirl @mysteriouslydelicateface @caitlin1996 @imthebadguyyy

#my writing #sirius black #sirius black fic #sirius black x ofc #marauders #marauders fic #Marauders era #hp fic #the other evans girl

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henry-fox-biggest-stan · 1 year

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Idk but it was supposed to be the opposite, Alex fell in love with Henry *after* knowing Henry, the real Henry. He knows Henry so well be even writes a whole list down even when he's gonna call Henry because he knows Henry likes having things written down. And then just flipping over that whole dynamic and making Henry feel unseen by Alex (nvm they made Alex completely ignorant of his depression too so, yay!). Alex in that fight (in the book) knew that Henry didn't want it either, their goals were the same, he was fighting for them, asking Henry to make a choice.

But they made Henry feel Alex doesn't know him at all and forces him to be someone else , that's a toxic relationship where one person feels suffocated by the other, and what I loved about firstprince was that their relationship was so healthy and sweet.

Meanwhile I wouldn’t call it toxic (they clearly love each other and care deeply about each other) I wouldn’t call it completely healthy either.

It felt a bit like one of those high schools relationships where, yes, they like each other and want the best for the other person, they’re not toxic, but like, their communication levels and knowledge about each other and real connection are kinda limited.

Idk I kinda feel like in the movie they don’t even know each other that well. And while this is a time issue not a director’s choice, it’s still there.

Alex didn’t even know about Henry’s depression?? Like, if they just deleted his depression that would have been disappointing but not surprising since Henry didn’t really show it anywhere in the film, made no mention of it, but then have Henry have it, and Alex not know about it until after the lakehouse confession feels a bit?? Like, he’s confessing his love for him and he doesn’t even know about it, which is an important thing. Alex has adhd (canon) and Henry has depression, both of them have this things than can be a bit “hard” for other people to deal with when dating them (not actually hard, but they might think it is—bad responses from past partners, or the people around them, etc etc), Alex mentions how Henry lets him be “annoying” and doesn’t complain and Alex doesn’t care to hide, and Alex talks about how he’s attracted to Henry no matter his mental health, and idk it just felt like such a beautiful bit, they love each other, and they love each other more and more the more they know each other, even if their whole life they felt the need to hide, than people wouldn’t actually like them if they were themselves.

And don’t get me started on the erasure of “I love him on purpose” and changing it to the “I can’t help falling in love” song. The meaning the book line had, how Alex loves Henry not despite the bad parts but with them included, because of it, on purpose, he makes the choice to love him because he’s so so worth it (and then we have Henry who didn’t believe himself worthy of being loved—shut up I’m crying). Also bea dwelling more into Henry’s mental health. The “I can’t help falling in love” song is the opposite, these two statements contradict each other. Alex doesn’t make the choice to love him despite everything, because of everything, but Alex simply loves Henry cause he can’t help it. That’s like saying “you have your flaws but I love you regardless because I can’t help it” instead of “you have your flaws and I choose to love them just like I love every other part of you.” They’re not really flaws, but i don’t know how else to explain it.

I kinda went off the point but you get me.

Also, the Kensington fight (movie) felt incredibly underwhelming. The way they immediately went to the v&a, instead of the next morning, the way they don’t really talk things through?? Where’s the communication, where’s Henry bringing breakfast and talking about his morning and seeing Philip and realizing he didn’t want to have his life, than Philips life was fine, but than he wanted more.

#and the lake confession???#where’s the feeling the true betrayal and hurt and just how bitter it was for Alex #it’s not Henry going and Alex taking it as ‘oh he doesn’t love me then’ like in the movie #in the book it’s worse #is Henry going while alex opens up his heart for him #talking about his tendency to focus too much on the future and have a fire under his ass and learning to slow down and everything #and on top of it falling in love with Henry who also helped him through this process #idk idk #rwrb #casey mcquiston #red white and royal blue #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #red white & royal blue #rwrb movie

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sassygwaine · 2 years

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here it is! the soundtrack to a love that won't sit still, the rather sprawling modern au series that i've been pouring my heart into these past couple months

best listened to in playlist order, track list below the cut

stray italian greyhound – vienna teng

this feeling calls for everything that I am not / I’m not that kind / I’m so good at shooting down any notion / this tired world could change

benjamin alphabet – super whatevr

if we weren’t so alike, maybe we’d work it out / but we’re stuck in this rut and my mind’s headed south

doa – olen

you hurt me bad just for fun / someday, some way / someone’s gonna love me

pressed 2 death – illuminati hotties

you only like me when I’m sad / you only want me when I’m feeling bad

bambi – hippo campus

I swear to god I wasn’t born to fight / maybe just a little bit, enough to make me sick of it / but I can read between the lines / I want to run from everything / but my legs won’t work it’s clear to me

sleep with a baseball bat – cosmic johnny

hey, space cadet / are you still floating around the rock / that you spent so much of your life trying to get away from / and does it at least look different up there?

settling – ripe

every time that you behave / every time you play it safe / you can feel it getting harder / still you’re waiting for things to get better / but you’re not sure if it’s now or never

bummer days – liza anne

I don’t know what I want, but I know that I feel bad / and then when I feel good, I think I make myself sad

heaven – los lonely boys

save me from this prison / lord help me get away / ‘cause only you can save me now / from this misery / I’ve been lost in my own place / and I’m getting weary

change – the catching

it’s time for a change / get out of your brain / it’s time that you’re wasting / you feel pretty vacant / it’s different than it was before

baby blue shades – bad suns

oh, I can see the moon from my kitchen / but I cannot see through this decision / I close my eyes and cross a line

everybody breaks – ivan & alyosha

who’s gonna bend now? / who’s gonna break? / who’s got the map to tell me what’s at stake?

heaven – bayside

but I’m getting old, it’s so contagious / if life’s a ride, then I don’t know the way / and I am a loner / and I am a fraud / and I am in hell / right where I belong / I am a sinner / but aren’t we all?

talk it up – sammy rae & the friends

smoky walls, dusty halls / no one calls / and all the window plants are dying / she talk it up / half empty cup / half-hearted love / half of the time halfway through crying

good riddance – green day

another turning point, a fork stuck in the road / time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go / so make the best of this test and don’t ask why

roots – grumpster

any time I think I feel at home again, I hit the ground running ‘til I’m gone

dwell on the guilt of saving myself – super whatevr

when everything is good, I feel like I’m somebody else / the sick loves the sick, but I’m sick of the dying. where’s the shame in wanting to grow old?

lady d’arbanville – yusuf / cat stevens

I’ll wake you tomorrow

life was easier when I only cared about me – bad suns

I had no reason to breathe / until you knocked the wind out of me / I had no light I could see / until your radiance blinded me / I was spinning around and around in an ocean of grief / your ladder came down to the sea

go your own way – fleetwood mac

open up, everything’s waiting for you

real contender – the dip

changin’ of the seasons / time is always creepin’ along / I wanna be a real contender / whether you see it or not / I know it’s in there, somewhere / this thing that we got / for once in my life I am sure of something

south – hippo campus

you broke down and left me with a / chest hum, black gun, and forty dollars / three weeks down, I drowned myself in whiskey

sabotage – beastie boys

I can’t stand rocking when I’m in here / ‘cause your crystal ball ain’t so crystal clear / so while you sit back and wonder why / I got this fucking thorn in my side

psycho – maisie peters

I feel like you feel nothing, that’s fine / please leave this behind / you’re losing your mind / calling me a hundred times / time you drew a line / and stopped wasting mine

well, fuck – mal blum

or did you lose like every other time you lost? / you have a god, you have a boss, no matter what you call / it’s all the same / fuck you, but I’ll do the things you want me to

gone insane – lucius

my heart’s so heavy I’m gonna need your help / losing my grip while holding everything else / my fists are clenched and I’m so angry with myself / the time we share is in the suffering / we’re all alone in this togetherness / go on and call me the one who’s gone insane / oh I will be the one who’s gone insane

slip the noose – the maine

I was on the verge of breaking down/ then you came around/ and not a second too late

trying to kill the moon – motherfolk

I never wanted it all / ‘til I found you / teach me as I fall / to fall towards you

crystal – stevie nicks

I turned around / and the water was closing all around / like a glove / like the love that had finally, finally found me

didya think – arlie

didya think it’d be easy? / I’ll tell you if it was easy / then everybody’d do it too

little words – the happy fits

darling, darling, darling, let me shelter you / lay you into all the homes that fear has made of me / how the shingles fall like dust beside your company

hide – rainbow kitten surprise

and he’s a better kisser than you’d think, mom / he’s a better listener than most / we took pretty pictures by the sea, mom / fell in love and sailed off

I’m okay – honest men

I’m in a good position to lose it again / the cards are dealt and my hand is in / the push and pull of my own chagrin / I’m alright

flipside – ripe

it’s alright to dive / with survival on your mind / you can take it step by step / ‘til you find solid ground

conversation – mom rock

you feel the pain and blame it on yourself / you feel the pain and hurt someone else

better in the morning – birdtalker

behind my eyes a familiar child / I take his hand and he finally smiles / be gentle with yourself as you uncover / your best kept secrets yet to be discovered

the reckoning – dom fera

change ain’t so sudden / it just hides as it’s coming / is this change or fruition / of some hope and ambition? / is this all repercussions?

bloodlust – left at London

what is hell to the god that you pray to? / either way, tell the devil “just trust us” / don’t expect anybody would’ve saved you / bloodlust tastes a little like justice

divine violence – itoldyouiwouldeatyou

and I know your father was an asshole but you ought to learn / how to keep yourself alive / because I shoot on sight now

work out – rainbow kitten surprise

well, the first cut was the deepest / but it healed up whole / and the last one was a clean hit / but I bled out below

shimmer – fuel

she says that love / is for fools that fall behind / and I’m somewhere between / I never really know a killer from a savior / ‘til I break at the bend

strangest faces – bayside

I have seen the strangest faces / yellow teeth and scary eyes / it turns out they’ve been there all my life / it’s hard to find a friendly face / when you’ve got nothing left to sell

lord is it mine – supertramp

when everything’s dark / and nothing seems right / there’s nothing to win / and there’s no need to fight / I never cease to wonder at the cruelty of this land / but it seems a time of sadness is a time to understand

the garden – the happy fits

so if I lay down / and let roots grow ‘round / would it make me whole again? / and if barren wood / could touch this ground, oh / flower it would

superbloom – misterwives

wallflower in the spring / they can’t contain you / through the cracks, you break through

saw it coming – sammy rae & the friends

you’re gonna get the good that’s coming to you / you deserve it / even if you do not feel like you do

ghost stories – the narcissist cookbook

there is no ‘why’ about it / there is a ‘how’, I suppose, don’t really understand it though / maybe if I dug around a bit in the soil / I’d find out where all this love comes from and what it’s for / but then the question would be answered

two – sleeping at last

like a force to be reckoned with / a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you without any strings attached / and what a privilege it is to love / a great honor to hold you up

nobody – hozier

we could have less to worry about / honey, I won’t lie to you / but everything I do / I’ve had no love like your love

you are the best thing – ray lamontagne

and baby / the way you move me, it’s crazy / it’s like you see right through me / and make it easier

easy silence – the chicks

and I’ve got all the world to lose / but I just want to hold on to / the easy silence that you make for me

living my best life – ben rector

I wake up with the sunrise / it does not look a thing like I thought that I would / but I’ve been getting my steps in / and I sleep with my best friend / it’s the best that it has been in a long time

know that I know – lake street dive

yeah, we’re like sneakers and gym socks / you’re happy hour and I am five o’clock / you’re captain kirk to my spock / you know I’m dee dee ramone and you’re punk rock

good old-fashioned lover boy – queen

I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things / we can do the tango just for two / I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings

sweetheart – kerry courtney

with everything you’ve been through dear / you’re stronger than you think / you’re kinda fucked up / and I love you for it / you’ve got a sweetheart / don’t you dare forget it

kick it to me – sammy rae & the friends

nowadays we’re working at the same pace / I’m still here still bright when the night comes / still burning, still bright when the night comes

#a love that won't sit still #our flag means death fic #our flag means death fanfic #i fucking love talking about music

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