#my emotional s at very intense. it feels like the only thing i’m gonna feel ever.

[telltaleanatomicalheart]

it’s crazy when i open up my notes app bc i was literally feeling that 5 hours ago and i’m over it already

[badchoicesworld]

Hello hello :)

I hope you're having a good day!

May I request Hobie and Spider-Noir with a s/o who cries a lot?

Not only out of sadness, but out of everything. They're happy? They cry. They're frustrated? They cry. It's just their body's natural reaction to any intense emotion. Even like, if they're listening to a song that itches their brain just right, boom, tears (talking of personal experience, me? Absolutely.)

I'm just kinda insecure about my crying habits lol, I need reassurance. (I cried to System Of A Down and Slipknot, send help)

Thank you and sending lotsa love :)

hobie brown and spider-noir with an s/o that cries a lot !

ok, first i wanna stress that you should never feel insecure about your natural bodily functions- ever. crying is completely natural and a normal way to express any type of feeling, so i hope you gain a little confidence in your ability to feel so strongly :] it’s a beautiful thing

second, you should check out demon slayer in you haven’t, there’s this character that always cries at everything and he’s the strongest ! gyomei my love

third, these are kinda short and i’m very sorry, i struggled w noir

separate scenarios

warnings: crying ?? insecurity ?

pairing: hobie brown x gn!reader, spider-noir x gn!reader

requests: refer to this bad boy

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

i bet hobie’s one of them guys that gives out great advice about mental health or just in general and doesn’t take his own advice

he’s too cool to cry, he claims

but suddenly it’s not cool for everyone else to NOT cry

also uses common sense and figures that crying is a completely natural reaction when you feel any type of emotion, won’t be embarrassed by you if you start bawling your eyes out in public if you happen to feel happy to be spending time together

he just smiles and rubs your back, shaking his head but in a playful way since this is a common occurrence

does one of those side hug things where he hooks his arm around your neck and squeezes you to his side a few times, talking about “let it out”

it’s nice in a way, he knows that you’re crying cause you’re happy to be spending time with him

he’s close buddies with pav who i can also see crying at a lot of things, man’s not judgemental

and he can of course understand crying at sad things ! if you two are kicked back one day and you’re violently bawling at a movie that’s meant to be a tear jerker, he’s not gonna shame you

he’s probably thinking about how accomplished the movie directors must be/feel while simultaneously shaming the big company who produced it

it’s nothing new and he’d rather not address it directly by asking you each time if you’re okay when you cry, he imagined it would get irritating and make you feel like it’s wrong

so he probably does something to show he’s there, an arm around your shoulder, maybe he ruffles your hair or something if you’re excited crying (i do this w my special interests, there’s no shame)

overall, hobie just wants you to feel comfortable enough to cry at all- this stuff should be normalised after all, no reason to even justify it to begin with

he may even encourage you to cry, get it out your system

he definitely understands frustrated crying, i imagine he’s a man who’s had his fair share of frustrations and sometimes crying is the only way to cope

if it bothers you so much, he might try introducing you to other coping mechanisms that he personally does

encourages you to get into music, play an instrument, do something spontaneous with your appearance

if he ever catches you crying over one of his own creations, the man’s floored with this appreciation

the last fucking thing he’ll do is ever make you feel guilty for crying, he’s having none of that and he’ll silently scowl in such disgust at the people that do

it’s not cool to shame peoples emotions, no invalidation here

if he’s in the right mood and you’re crying for something, happily he might just hype you up honestly

go bestie go, cry your eyes out

noir

someone else who sees nothing wrong with crying- he admittedly associates it most with grief so definitively panics the first few times he sees you crying at anything

but explain how crying is your response to everything and he’ll relax

he’s probably envious of your ability to feel so strongly about everything, since he struggles to feel a thing

the man literally lets matches burn to his fingertips out of hopes of feeling anything

that being said, he doesn’t want you to think like you now get to feel ungrateful for your tendencies to cry at everything since he envies it- crying is still taxing as fuck and you’re entitled to your own functions, he just wished he could take a page or two from your book

nine times outta ten he will probably assume each time that you’re crying out of sadness, he’s horrible at reading the room

it’s a pretty instant reaction from him to ask what’s wrong and assume the worst, man’s is instantly ready to start a fight if you’re crying for something bad that’s happened

makes a really big deal out of hugging you and dramatically wrapping his coat around you before suspiciously listing all of your enemies

he’s more of a “cheer up, sport” kinda guy and is a lot more insistent about talking to him about your feelings

partly because he want to understand the feelings, mostly because he wants to help you

probably cites some old 30’s techniques on how to make your face less puffy after crying if it bothers you- a really bizarre remedy

he’s also heard some more modern techniques, like chewing gum when cutting onions

he assumes that works for crying as a whole

happy crying takes him some time to wrap around his head, but he’ll get it

it’s a little surprising to him at first that you cry at every little thing, but that’s okay

he cant imagine that he’ll ever get over that initial surprise, seeing you cry at all immediately catches his attention - he’ll eventually stop assuming it’s bad, but he does attempt to comfort you each time without fail

you could be crying in such joy and he’ll fail to read the room, strokes your head while talking to you like you’re a dog that’s just had their paw stepped on

thinks he’s helping an incredible amount, has a small ego boost when he does successfully comfort you

he really does embrace it instead of trying to avoid it, which he imagined would be arrogant anyway

he’s envious, overall

good for you for being so in touch with your emotions

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

IM SORRY THIS KINDA SUCKS IM BAD AT CRYING

[neptunedivine]

my 2023 solar return observations

(tw: possible eating disorder mentions)

I was looking over my solar return chart yesterday and it made me very nervous. When I get nervous I feel better writing everything out. So that’s what I’m going to do :)

✨natal north node year✨ ✧ I turn my north node degree this year! My NN is Gemini 11H at 21° and in combination with everything else going on in my solar return, it does amp up the anxiety for me. I feel like I’m gonna be shoved into my destiny because I’ve been stalling for so long (well not stalling as avoiding, but not taking the leap(s) I need to out of fear).

8H stellium ✧ tbh I just wanted to address the obvious in all its glory before I tried to dissect it any further. Transformations feel like they’ll be a focal point this year, like heavily. But then again looking at the planets that make up this stellium (aside from Chiron), it doesn’t seem too bad? We’ll see.

Virgo rising at 3° + mercury as the chart ruler in Pisces 8H @ 29° ✧ I taste a lot of criticism in the air (mainly from myself but we’ll see). Some of this energy looks familiar because natally I have my mercury in Pisces in the 8H but @ 10°. Virgo is on my 3H cusp natally as well. Naturally knowing myself I feel like writing is going to be the focus for the year. Since my natal NN is also ruled by my chart ruler this year, I think I’m going to be pushed to really start making music this year. Especially since mercury is conjunct with my sun too. I think putting more time and dedication into it will change my life? (I’ve been viewing a lot of readings lately telling me that my passions and creativity will grant me great abundance so this could be in association) There could be an emphasis on me speaking my truth as well. Possible recognition as well with it being at 29°? It feels intense not only because it’s a fame degree but it’s the fate degree and conjunct with the Aries point.

Pisces sun 8H @ 28° ✧ I’m used to the placement but not in the 8H. With it being conjunct with my mercury I feel like this could be related to me shedding a bad mindset or patterns in my habits this year? (I feel like this pairs well with my Saturn placement which I’ll talk about later). As well as finding a trusted source to have deep conversations with (possibly a therapist) seems very likely for this year.

Aquarius Moon 6H @ 19° ✧ I think I will be very analytical and regulatory with my emotions and my feelings this year. Instead of feeling everything and questioning everything and feeling lost, especially with the possibility of a therapist, being able to dissect the reason for why I feel certain ways may happen. I also spiraled a lot in the past year so there could be a sense of grounding brought into the year.

Taurus Venus 9H @ 2° + + NN @ 4°+ Uranus @ 16° ✧ I don’t see myself traveling really? I could travel to somewhere beautiful, but since my natal venus is in 9H too this would be a continuation of my love for other cultures. A possible love interest from a different country or uni could be possible, but my guides know for sure that I’m not looking for that right now…right? Idk I’ve been very career driven for a few years now and I don’t see that changing. But who knows since my SR Uranus and NN are in the same house lol. Speaking of Uranus here, please for the love of God let this not play with my degree. I'm supposed to graduate next spring.

✧ I’m just now noticing how many feminine degrees there are that inspire creativity (Taurus (2°,14°,26°), Libra (7°,19°), and Cancer (4°, 16°,28°). Pretty cool. ✧

Gemini Mars 10H @ 26° ✧ Pairing drive (Mars) with curiosity (Gemini), this could relate to my passion and writing outside of the box of what is expected from me, or who I'd expect. (I have a list of talent that I really want to write for and I think about them when I write songs sometimes so that could be relevant). Or I could be just collaborating more? I’m not sure with the 8H stellium though. Oh! A drive to learn new things maybe? I’ve always wanted to get into production but with it being so white cis-male dominant it felt gatekeepy. But miraculously I have I think enough tools to figure out a good part of it independently.

Aries Jupiter 8H @ 16° ✧ I keep reading good things about this placement and I’m very excited about it. I could be receiving a large sum(s) of money this year (scholarships?). Also, this placement is not only conjunct with my natal venus but MC as well, so this energy could be amplified since having Venus/Jupiter in the 8H are very strong wealth indicators, but I could be gaining monetary abundance or just abundance in general towards my career somehow.

Pisces Saturn 6H @ 1° (tw: possible eating disorder mentions) ✧ I was watching a tiktok a few weeks ago about Saturn going into Pisces and what that could mean. They mentioned an end to things that relate to escapism, which makes sense since in modern astrology Pisces is ruled by Neptune, like overeating and procrastination. I feel like both of those topics would be covered in my life this year since the 6H rules over the physical body and health, but also the daily and routines. There could be a theme of cutting the bs and getting in control of my life in these areas. My Chiron natally is in the 6H so this has been a struggle I’ve been dealing with for a while. I don’t know if the "problem of Chiron” will be resolved but I think significant improvements could be made.

Pisces Neptune 7H @ 25° ✧ I don’t have the energy to be delusional in love this year please abeg. I have Neptune in the 7H but in Aquarius, so there’s an element of this that I’m used to. I could be continuing to manifest my dream partner? Because I do that every day when I listen to love songs and I really enjoy it. But a real person? In the flesh? Right now? Absolutely not, pass.

Capricorn Pluto 5H @ 29° ✧ I have my natal pluto in sag at 17° so I’m used to some of the energy but I think with it being Capricorn which rules over hard work and discipline rather than the freedom sag grants, I will take my passions seriously enough to make moves. Personally, I stress so much about making music and my skills and being really talented and getting everything right but I don’t do anything. I just sit in my charged obsessive energy. But hopefully, I’ll make the right moves this year. Recognition worthy? Possibly with how much 29° is popping up in my chart.

Taurus MC @ 29° ✧ The idea of getting recognition for my passion and my work feels very daunting for me because I don’t feel ready at all. I'm very perfectionistic with my passion. I'm so adamant about making it my career and being very well-known for it. I get very nervous about f*cking up. Regardless I don't think this year cares I might be shoved into the position to be seen, maybe not at its height because I glanced at my SR for the next two years and they feel like extensions of this year, like in acts.

that's all for now. see you later! :)

[sativaonsaturn]

Hello. I saw that we could send in our placements. I will be giving feedback. What do you think about my placements?

Libra Sun 10th house

Leo moon 8th house

Virgo mars 8th house

Scorpio Mercury 10th house

Libra venus 10th house

Sagittarius ascendant

Thank you 💕

thank you for submitting! <3 i’m gonna write on a few of these but overall a seemingly harmonious chart, like all the elements complement each other.

Leo Moon in 8th house

this placements is truly intense. i mentioned in a previous post that leo mars can be extremely emotional when it comes to their egos and leo moon is no different. 8th house only turns up the heat 😭 to paint a picture; leo moons already feel things at the core of their being and 8th house is ruled by scorpio so the native’s feelings run as deep as it gets. their feelings may also come out in an explosive way.

Scorpio Mercury in 10th house

scorpio is such a driven sign and 10th house is ruled by saturn/ capricorn so the drive of this individual is intense. you’ll never know what scorpio mercury is thinking unless they want you to and 10th house will provide a unique kind of discipline. whether the native wants to climb the ladders of their career or even win a debate, they are very likely to succeed. also their words are carefully chosen and precise unless afflicted.

Libra Venus in 10th house

libra is at home with venus so this may make the individual in love w/ love. bc of this they may interpret the idea of love as true love, meaning they date to marry and search for the picture of romance in many before finding the one OR they love the way being w/ someone feels and stay bc it fills a void. this is not to say that they don’t have discernment, it’s really more that they sometimes are dishonest w/ themselves in relationships (to keep the peace) or simply feel incomplete w/out a partner (knowing the person isn’t right for them). however! when libra venus finds a home, they are such devout and romantic lovers.

just cause I haunt you, it don’t mean I want you

- Brent Faiyaz, who has a libra venus

10th house (capricorn) brings libra venus a much needed grounding presence. this may make libra more careful when choosing partners and operating in relationships. this placement may also make the individual especially charming in their professional life. may also find their partner(s) through work.

Sagittarius Rising

often have a muscular/ athletic build, esp in the calves and hips

distinctive voice/ laugh

noticeable teeth/ smile

i wrote about more sagittarius in general in this post :)

[fishedeyelenz]

*inhales deeply* haaah….okay. Okay, this might be…rather lengthy, but please bear with me Ms. Fishy! I usually try not to leave comments on things, just cause I’m, nervous about how much I want to say lol, and then I sometimes (most of the time) come off too intense and strongly and I unfortunately have more than once maybe freaked or creeped poor innocent souls out accidentally lol. But! This is about our poor freaky attic boy! So maybe it’ll be fine lol.

Oh my goodness, so. I have, in recent times, discovered Billy….and immediately I just feel in love with him! First cause he looked so silly and cute and goofy! And because I only vaguely saw one or two things about some guy in a sweater who was either really sweaty or just intense. So I needed to know more about this little man! I mean…obviously. And the more I read about him, both on actual research trips in google, and my roaming and happy lurking or tumblr, welp I just, fell more in love with him!! Little freak boi.

But what really just….sealed my brain to him, was when I started finding fanfiction on here and ao3, that really took a step into his brain, and his very scattered and unstable thinking process, and all his behaviors, in conjunction to me hunting down and watching the actual black Christmas movie and I just…..there was one specific little fanfiction I read…I don’t remember the name or the author…but it just, broke my heart so much. It made me cry SO much, because they made him sound so much like me! In all the worst ways he was written in a way that is so familiar to me.

And so now I’m hunting for good Billy stories on ao3, and that’s where I find you! The first story I read by you was the…the snow day one if I’m naming it correctly, and oh…me hart…but then! I found Mousie!! I freaking cried. Again! Because it’s so intense reading about Billy…behaving so…SIMILAR to me….it just makes my chest and my heart fill up so tightly, and I feel my heart break for Billy, because, in my brain, I would go, “he’s like me! He’s just like me, I’m just like him…..I bet…he would like that. We wouldn’t freak each other out! If I could just hold him! If I could just hold him tight and cry with him cause I know! I know Billy! But it’s okay I promise, we’re both gonna be okay please just listen to my heart beat!” And so I, in my many many day dream stories, would day dream about all kinds of ways I would meet Billy, who would lose their marbles first, and how I would show Billy how similar we are, and how…NICE it would be to actually understand each other. To just, not feel so alone and ODD.

And this is all well and good, and I keep in my heart close to me…but! Your most recent ask! About, Billy and dilf Billy with an S/O with all kinds of ticks and stims and sensory issues….and when normal Billy is happy and goes, “your just like me..!” I freaking lost it aaaah!! My eyeballs MAY have gotten watery again lol. I’m so sorry if this is all just so silly sounding….but oh my goodness…I just…love the way you write Billy. I do it all….the hair pulling, the skin picking, the finger and skin biting…the rocking, the stuttering, the voice and word mimicking, the fear of being seen, the thoughts, the horrible loud thoughts, the URGES, the emotions that explode and make my brain either break and I have breakdowns and I’m sobbing screaming hurting myself, scared of hurting others, or I just check out, I’m out yo I’m gone babe, I just ain’t here at that moment. The fear, the slight delusions when I get bad…the shame and disgust and guilt, ugh horrible loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, bad textures, bad words, so much BAD! (Yes I’m autistic lol) but, yes believe it or not lol, I’m actually a very happy person (besides the horrors) and I’m very giggly, (overly giggly actually it a problem at times) very smiley, and I make all these little noises (though I try to contain it to when I’m alone) like I chitter and I click my throat when I’m happy and I wriggle and squirm and squeal cause there’s just so much happy pressure in me and I just shake and wiggle my hands by my side and, geez that’s all me, that’s all me and I know it’s a lot and I’m reading and seeing it all in Billy and it’s…gee it’s so overwhelmingly sweet to me! Reading about his bad times, and someone being sweet to him, how I wish I could be sweet to him cause heaven knows I understand, and just maybe him be sweet to me! I just….mmh! Dang. I just think we’d be friends me and him. And the way you write just fills my heart, it’s so very lovely, thank you so much for all the wonderful Billy stories.

(I know that was a lot please forgive me you straight up don’t have to respond, I just wanted you to know how lovely it all is and how I appreciate your Billy writing lol)

(But like fr I wanna freaking chew on him and shake him while growling like a freak rrrRRRGH I’ll bloody tackle him I’ll snarl at him do not TEST me Billy *deep affection*)

Oh... oh my god. You just made my day. This made me so happy you cannot believe. Thank you for taking your time to write this this ask, it first shocked me (in a good way lol) and then i started grinning and crying. It makes me so so so happy to see my goofy stories resonate with people and when you guys come and compliment me I go AAAAAAAHH- <3333

I never would have thought my fics would resonate so much. I started writing them in desperation from a lack of content after I read every fic that I possibly could, and I thought I could write my own. I remember posting my first few fics and waiting for my first comment <3 I never would have thought my work would become so well liked!!!

I'm glad Billy is relatable. I'm glad he is a good depiction of various things you and many others go through. One of my biggest fears was that I would miss the mark, that he would come off as a caricature, or shallow or offensive or or.... but the most frequent positive comment I get consistently is that my characterization is spot on. So much of myself I put into my depiction of him, so so much. And I'm glad you feel that way. I'm glad you wasn't to reach out and hold him, and tell him that it's okay and there are people there who get you. Everybody needs that, even if you can only express that to a freaky fictional attic killer, as strange as it sounds lol <3

I'm just... I'm glad that you like my work. I'm so glad and I know I'm rambling but I don't know how to otherwise express my gratitude. I have been going through a minor crisis in art, cause I know the things I do on here or on ao3 aren't something that would be highly appreciated by my irls, and they would think it was a waste of time, and a crisis about when I will start making art as a full time job and will I make it. You gave me reassurance that I am not wasting my time, that even if the art would be seen as "lower" by some people the resonance and importance of it can be boundless to others. And you also gave me hope that I'll make it one day. Thank you so much. Billy would be your friend. Take care.

[twinnedpeaks]

i’ve read almost 270 books this year, so i wanted to share my favourites! here are the absolute best books i read in 2022.

animal by lisa taddeo: fun, real, and overall a wild ride. lisa taddeo knows how to describe things we all think, and manages to show us our worst thoughts in beautiful ways.

detransition baby by torrey peters: LOVED this little family. amazing gender politics and explorations. thrilling, sad, funny, all of it.

yolk by mary h. k. choi: a must read for those familiar with sibling rivalries. relatable and heartwrenching.

woman eating by claire kohda: a fresh and smart take on vampirism. it’s rare to find such a cleverly crafted rewrite of creatures that have already been featured for centuries.

beartown series by fredrik backman: not a new author for me but a hard hitting gutpunch either way. so intricate and subtle, so beautiful and real. also the only time i will ever care about hockey.

a certain hunger by chelsea g summers: from the description alone i knew i was gonna love it, so i looked for it for a year, then devoured it in a day. a food critic who eats men in the fanciest ways like a bon appetit hannibal lecter? i have only good things to say.

out by natsuo kirino: the graphic imagery and unsettling atmosphere in this book is INSANE!! it was such an intense read that i could almost feel it in my bones. gorey and violent, yet tender and real.

paul takes the form of a mortal girl by andrea lawlor: i’ve literally been raving about this book since i read it. it touched me very deeply and might be my favourite book of the year. an incredibly funny look at gender expression and sexuality, set in the 90’s club scene. worth a read for every lgbt person who likes fun.

her majesty’s royal coven by juno dawson: wild and thrilling and cozy and heartbreaking, this is a story featuring witches, imperialism, royal fanaticism, gender, grief, and friendship. i want more.

exquisite corpse by poppy z brite: i hadn’t been able to find this book anywhere until my london trip in september and i’m so happy that i did. the inspiration behind this book is obvious and adds several layers to this grotesquely gorgeous novel.

the book eaters by sunyi dean: i’m very picky with my fantasy reads but im so glad i gave this a chance. incredible world building and relationships. plus the overall concept of book eating is genius.

the left handed booksellers of london by garth nix: i can’t even explain what it was about this book i loved so much but GOD did i like it !!!! terry pratchett-esque, yet unique and beautiful. i loved every character and wanted more.

thistlefoot by gennarose nethercott: this beautiful and creative baba yaga retelling kept me company during a long train ride and stuck with me. such vivid imagery and an overall great book.

hell followed with us by andrew joseph white: i wanted to scream during this entire book, honestly. this biblical horror feels like the worlds best fever dream and i loved it SO MUCH!!!! gender and prejudice is explored in a new and beautiful way, while spotted with gore. on a personal note, this book featured one of the only autistic characters i’ve encountered in literature that i, as an autistic person, related to and found compelling.

horrorstor by grady hendrix: y’all know i’ll read anything by this author but this was just so fucking fun. i read it in one night and really felt as though i myself was trapped in a haunted knockoff ikea.

boy parts by eliza clark: very much up my alley in terms of genre. amazing writing and such a good story.

almond by sohn won-pyung: this was surprisingly relatable and ironically emotional. simply stunning. must read.

the seep by chana porter: i went into this blind and i’m so glad i did, because trying to explain why you should read this book is pointless. it’s simply, indescribably great.

[yourethecoolestpersonhere]

how do you think this stuff with Sam is gonna effect Euphoria S3 and beyond?

OOoF. Nonny *cracks knuckles*

So in my brain the thing that makes the most logical sense is that HBO decides that Sam isn’t going to a) be able to finish a project without being called disgustingly inappropriate or worse b) bring in the same viewership with Idol as he did with euphoria S1 + S3 and c) make a project without heavy use of traumatic s*xual scenes.

I understand it’s HBO but also, considering the themes of Euphoria last year… we would only be rapidly approaching a very traumatic, high intensity, emotional rollercoaster.. that I can’t stress enough… SAM does not have the capacity to write. His character depth is not as deep as one would want to imagine , especially those outside of his lived experiences.

Meaning … women, queers, black and brown folks in white spaces , DRUG DEALERS etc etc etc May be a LITTLE CONVOLUTED.

I say all that to say; especially with the:

Levinson allegedly stopped sending scripts to HBO and certain department heads, according to two people familiar with the matter. “I got the vibe that the mood on set was, ‘What’s HBO gonna do, pull the plug? Yeah, right. If they want a third season of Euphoria, they’ll give me what I want… We’re just gonna shoot what we want and if [HBO execs] have a problem with it, that’s their problem,’” they explain. Idol set, the idea of “ what are they gonna do censor me I’ll just take euphoria away”

lol like what w bitch ..anyways

I truly believe that we could - A) see a writers ROOM of hopefully not all older cis het yt men talking about very difficult subjects outside of drugs B) SAM is nixxed.

I just don’t think he’s worth a network going down the drain form. so while good, I truly believe whatever direction we go S3 won’t live up to hype of previous seasons PURELY because we are all made aware of the absolute havoc this man has made for his cast and crew. As well as his habit of adding certain themes and situations that feel downright abusive. I’ve said before I think season 2 ended with the idea that maybe they didn’t plan to be renewed. The entire last 2 episodes pace a lot differently when you look at them as an ending and not a prelude to another season or time.we know they are probably shooting already so it’s safe to say we won’t know for a while , with taking 7 months to film + x to do post and marketing promo) but I’m curious with know how this new show being recieved in the media and if the timing makes a difference.

Here’s the Rolling Stone article that also talks about the weirdo shit he did on the Euphoria set of S2 and how they are similar ( script changes, extended deadlines, big names for buzz but barely any lines or depth, drama drama drama)

What do y’all think fexi hive?

[aranarumei]

B, F, K?

thought abt going thru all of my fics and felt an intense bout of decision fatigue so I’ve decided to limit things to mostly a3, which I think is probably the more interesting way to answer, anyways. I ramble so this is a bit lengthy.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

oh yeah. I am Not Immune to Projecting Sometimes. I know I just said I’d talk abt a3 but this bakugou-centric fic was just me drawing heavily on my personal experiences with like. complicated family dynamics and it seemed to go okay so. I’m pleased with it mostly bc i felt like the conclusion wasn’t very… wish fulfillment? which is nice sometimes, but not what i wanted. 

on the a3 side, the Specifics are rather different but dress for success was definitely inspired by conversations i’ve had about gender and presentation before... but the detail drawn most from real life was probably juza’s thoughts about his smile, particularly that he’s just a guy that. Doesn’t Smile. As a kid i was 100% the sort of like. Person who has never smiled ever to my classmates and that made me later in life believe that i was just like. Incapable of smiling properly. I smile lots nowadays tho :) 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

[LUKE] It’s not. Besides, when I wake up, won’t you be there? On the other end of sleep, and “ Good night,” is a “Good morning”. You don’t need to follow me into everything, as long as you know you’ll see me again. [S] “Good night” is a very strange greeting, then. [LUKE] Maybe so. More than a greeting, I think it feels like a promise. 

clockwork heart is. my favorite play. it may even be my favorite event. (tough competition w/ captain’s sky pirates + my master’s mesmerized by mystery for me. and nocturnality.) 

this snippet is really just. it's kind of barely a fic. the whole post is not that long. I had Lots Of Thoughts about how luke, at the end of a clockwork heart, says, “So it’s just good night for now.” it was, to me, just such a perfect encapsulation of the idea that this separation was temporary and not forever, even though they were both saying goodbye, so I wanted to write something that expanded on that idea a little. i think it's effective, seeing as how I get more emotional about the ending, now, and the script format forced me to pretty much rely on dialogue alone.

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with? 

this made me look at myself and be like… huh, i think i’ve decreased in angst as i’ve grown older. interesting.

anyways i think mine would be…  there’s this backstage for nocturnality (so like, spoilers for that) where azuma is transported into the world of nocturnality and like. meets with kota after the ending of the play. and he makes this comment about like. oh, I prefer tasuku to kota, after all. 

and it just like. I’ve never stopped thinking abt that. so I had the sketches of an idea where it’s like. azuma is dropped into that world only like… he Stays There for wayyyy longer than a couple of hours. and u get very fun stuff of like. kota projects his feelings about reo onto azuma and azuma kind of does the same, and the like… lines blur a little badly and they probably lash out at each other somewhat. and it’s a bit complicated, since at this point in time azuma and tasuku have grown closer but they still don’t know each other Perfectly. and he’s not even here but there’s a guy with his face who is Almost Like Him (and how well can you be sure you knew tasuku, too…) all while you’re also slowly losing your sense of self because like, in this world, “reo” is the real existence?  there was also gonna be some kind of drama with the vampire society I think… since azuma would actually be like Human and not. Turned Yet. 

anyways it never rly went anywhere bc it would have to be a lengthy multichap and i’ve got a slow track record with those. i need to finish at least One. these are all also just like… vague concepts that i hadn’t fleshed out into proper plot beats, so it requires a Lot of Work that i just. don’t want to do currently. but i think it could be like. really fun.

ask me about fics & stuff!

[sylvie-fics]

Jayce and Viktor Caring for a Hurt S/O

Word Count: 600+

Warnings: Mentions of being hurt, pain, mention of blood, mention of knives. one line is a bit nsfw, so I’ll go ahead and say minors should avoid this.

Authors note: I got an ask for Jayce and Vik caring for a reader. I accidentally lost it and I feel horrible about it. I remember it had the specific of the readers situation being somewhat reoccurring, so I’ll 100% incorporate that. I *think* this was a request from @cloudsong25. I hope this is alright, and I hope you like it! I’m all about some love and care from the guys. Also, I hope you feel better soon! 

Jayce

i’ve said it before, i’ll say it again: He is so sweet, but he is so, so stupid.

if you have a physical injury, he’s gonna show up with a thermometer and a bowl of soup. 

it doesn’t matter if it’s a papercut, he’s gonna be spoon-feeding you his sad attempt at soup.

man’s glued to your side. 

constantly asking if theres anything he can do to help you feel better.

if he sees you wince in pain, he will cry on the spot.

“Jayce, I just sprained my ankle, you really don’t need to worry this much, love.”

and between sobs he’ll say that he just hates seeing you in pain.

for the next few days, you’re about to be fully dependent on him. Not even by choice. He physically won’t let you do anything on your own.

you wanna sit at the kitchen table? he’s bridal style carrying you there. 

you wanna read a book? he’s got one arm wrapped around you and he’s reading it to you.

He is *fully* aware that he’s being a bit over the top.

Jayce’s just had too many people close to him brush with death. he can’t stand the idea of losing people. 

and that fear sort of manifests through really intense acts of care in any situation, dire or not.

I imagine he’ll hold you just a little bit tighter, a little bit closer.

and when you’re falling asleep, recite the things you’ll both do together once you feel better. Dates you’ll go on, places he’ll take you. some of the most mundane things, but things he values so much.

He just loves you so much.

Viktor

Look, so, Viktor is Viktor.

If he sees you’re in pain, his first solution is gonna be a bit... drastic.

“(y/n) I need a small amount of your blood.”

“Viktor, wha-- since when are you into that?”

“... I’m going to give it to the hexcore. Are you opposed to letting me carve some symbols into you? where does it hurt?”

he’s already preparing some materials, sanitizing some blades. 

you can hear him mutter something about not being into blood, but being willing to try everything once. 

you have to very adamantly tell him that you don’t think a sprained ankle is a strong enough injury to warrant using the hexcore. 

eventually, he sort of comes to his senses. 

Vik has had some rough experiences with his own health-- and knowing what we know about him, he’s eventually going to be using his *intense* methods frequently.

he’s definitely going to be using some cures and remedies from his hometown that you’ve never heard of. 

but then he’s also going to occasionally offer you other means of feeling better.

“look, if we just cut the ankle off and replaced it with metal... it would never bother you again. you wouldn’t feel pain. you won’t have to ever feel pain again.”

and it’s sweet, because he hates the idea of you being in pain. he never wants you to hurt. 

but he doesn’t seem to understand that you aren’t in ‘cut you leg off’ pain.

he’s not as emotional as Jayce when it comes to things like this. 

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.

he, in fact, cares A LOT.

he’s already had to come to terms with his own mortality. Seeing you hurt makes him consider that you aren’t immortal either.

the longer you’re hurting, the more he spirals into fear.

and even though right now you’re young and healthy, with only a minor injury. It makes him realize something.

He refuses to lose you.

[nirvanai]

ok i Will actually get onto the topic of how i think the narrative structure of aini works to show Ryuki’s mental health. but quick foreword i guess lmao this will probably be a bit disorganized because adhd brain go brrr. also i’ll be fair and bring up a way the narrative I think maybe could’ve changed a touch to strengthen this effect in the second half of the game, though hey if we get dlc maybe it wont be an issue-

so, the tl;dr of what I meant with my last post on the topic is essentially this: by playing the game both as Ryuki and Mizuki, we’re seeing both how Ryuki perceives the world around him, and how people perceive him as interacting with the world. and I think that what they do with this is good, both as a means of building tension, but also in terms of showing (especially on a second viewing) how his disability impacts his view of the world.

(also big spoiler warning for endgame characters and plot points.)

so despite this being a Ryuki post i’m actually gonna start with looking at things from Mizuki (Bibi)’s perspective, in specific the scene at the rooftop amusement park after the shooting incident. From Bibi’s side, we get to talk to boss- and while it’s very clear that she’s (rightfully!) angry at him over this, it’s also very clear that boss is concerned for him. When you wink psync with her, it’s pretty obvious that she does want to protect Ryuki as best she can. And while her somnium representation of events isn’t 1:1 with reality, i think it does a better job of showing how she feels. 

Bibi seems pretty worried about Ryuki too- despite the obvious conflict that’s going to come up soon between the two of them, there’s no real indication that before that she ever hated him. She’s concerned whenever he’s dissociating around him, maybe a bit unsettled but doesn’t like him pushing himself too hard.

In comparison, we look at Ryuki’s scene where boss is chewing him out, and see none of that. Boss reads only as angry, and on a first viewing of the game, it feels fairly undeserved. (Yeah, he let the figure from the cathedral get away, but its because they dropped the bridge on him! Is that really his fault?) The consequences and potential demotion feel wildly unbalanced compared to what we as players just saw, and boss reads as almost overreacting angry.

Now, obviously with the context of the full game, you know that she’s angry for pretty understandable reasons. But all of that concern you’ll see on Mizuki’s side doesn’t seem to come through, and even her wink psync somnium in that scene reads as mostly just exhausted and frustrated.

So for how this ties into Ryuki’s mental health and storytelling- in my opinion Ryuki shows very strong signs of RSD, or ‘rejection sensitive dysphoria’. It’s a common symptom in people with ADHD (and it can also be a symptom of other disorders too! I’m just most familiar with ADHD personally), and sparing a big explanation, people with RSD are generally hyper-sensitive to most forms of criticism and rejection. It’s important to note that this doesn’t necessarily even mean actual critique and rejection- even perceived “negative reactions” from people around you can set of RSD episodes when those people are actually perfectly happy with you. As a result people with adhd often tend to either procrastinate a lot or become intense people pleasers (or both), in order to delay potential judgement from peers out of fear of the feelings that comes with.

It’s also important to note that RSD responses usually aren’t just sadness or frustration with yourself- it’s a genuinely catastrophic and often times extremely distressing emotional response that can be very difficult to predict or control. You can see it in Ryuki in that scene- boss says he’s being demoted, and immediately he gets extremely upset and goes as far as to say he’d rather be a bum on the street than a disgraced cop. Tama has to calm him by reminding him its not the end of the world- which is very much how RSD episodes can often feel when you’re dealing with it.

So what I’m getting at here is this pair of scenes actually does an excellent job at demonstrating how Ryuki’s mental health impacts how he perceives the people around him. While with Bibi we see boss being concerned and pulling her weight trying to protect him, with Ryuki it can feel like she’s almost irrationally mad and practically ruining his life. By hiding the actual context of why he’s being reprimanded, it does an excellent job and portraying those feelings of catastrophizing and hurt that come along with episodes like that.

When it comes to Ryuki’s dissociative episodes and memory issues, the game starts off right from the very beginning making sure that the player is fully aware that Ryuki isn’t entirely okay. There’s trivia bits about it, characters will comment on him acting strange and suggest he get checked out at the hospital, and his file from the future section makes it very explicit that he already had problems, but they got worse due to the case. We go into things knowing that Ryuki is Not Okay, which I think is very important to how we experience him as a character.

While playing as Ryuki, we see how he experiences dissociative episodes in first person multiple times. We also get to see Tama’s repeated concern for him because of it, though- she can’t see exactly what he sees and she can’t just read his mind, so he’s alone (with the player) in this. People are often asking him if he’s okay, if he needs help, suggesting he should go see a doctor, but he brushes it off every time. To him, that’s a fair response on the subject. His expression after these moments is usually tired for a bit and then a smile to reassure Tama that he’s fine. 

In comparison, when we see him as Mizuki and as Bibi, it becomes even more clear that he’s really... not. In the second half of the game we get to see Ryuki not how he sees himself, but how people are seeing him, and his issues start to feel a lot more obvious. He’s been denying help for a long time now, and he doesn’t want to stop the investigation for treatment- he literally walks out of the hospital after being told he has a serious memory disorder.

And the comparison between how he views himself and how the Mizukis view him is an intentional one- when they point out him acting strange due to TC-PERGE, he says “is that how I looked?” in response. It’s largely used to build tension and sow some distrust in Ryuki in the second half of the game, to wonder just what the hell is going on with him, but that’s also part of why that scene in the cathedral was very cathartic to me. 

He’s been struggling due to his problems, the narrative has made sure to contrast what it felt like to be him vs how people are seeing him, but his problems do not mean he’s not worthy of compassion from the people around him. Date challenges him directly, reminding him (and the player) of something Ryuki himself said on his route- that no matter how many times he’s hit down, he just needs to keep rising back up. Telling him to climb above the debris is so important- other people can and will help, and they will cheer him on and support him, but he has to remember why he wanted this too. he has to fight for himself as well, and he does. For a character like Ryuki, who we know is very motivated by his past and the people he’s lost, being reminded that he can still have a future by someone he betrayed directly is very important.

(just adding this cap bc this dialogue makes me want to cry)

So honestly, the one thing I really wish we’d gotten out of the narrative after this moment is a scene where you play as Ryuki again. I understand why that didn’t happen from a development POV- it’d likely have made things additionally complicated, and the story very much was moving to be about Mizuki and Bibi’s situation. Which does make sense to me (even though i love Ryuki), Mizuki is the returning character, she’s the one I’d imagine the dev team would expect people to be a lot more attached to.

If anything, I truly wish we’d gotten to see Ryuki and Amame talking after her somnium, because I think those two can function as incredible foils to each other. They’ve been through similar things, and I think Ryuki could absolutely understand her pain. Ryuki says himself that he would kill the criminal who murdered his brother, if given the opportunity- and Amame is someone who was given that opportunity, and she took it. (I may make a separate post abt this sometime too, bc oh boy do i have thoughts about how the narrative could’ve explored these two more. Amame’s somnium on Ryuki’s side is absolutely loaded with painful questions for him. Uchikoshi i am begging you for a dlc-)

But back on topic, I think that having one more scene where you play as Ryuki on the true end route really could’ve further strengthened this effect. Finally getting to see things from his perspective at a point in time where he’s struggled and suffered but explicitly has the support of his friends and coworkers- I think that would’ve been a very good opportunity, and I truly do hope that may be something that could be explored further later. It would’ve put a nice bow on things to get to see his feelings on things from his perspective, knowing that it doesn’t have to be just him and Tama anymore.

Anyways if you read all of this: thank you for reading, don’t feel like you need to take any of this too seriously lol, but I’d be curious to know what other people think on the subject! I really really liked looking at how the game presents both sides of its story, and I think narratives presented out of order like AI:NI was often give potential for extremely fun storytelling. 

The compassion the game ultimately has for Ryuki made me very happy, he suffers and struggles but he continues to fight to move forwards because he is so very human. It all ties back to that core theme of love- to have compassion for himself, and for him to accept the love of the people who want to see him succeed and get better. He has problems, they aren’t going to just go away, but he deserves the support and the friendship of people around him. He can climb above it when he finally accepts that he is not alone.

[omiscurls]

Diluc, zhongli and childe reaction to their s/o breaking up with them after something they said, maybe after a week or so after they argument they think the s/o forgave them but they break up instead? I WANT THE ANGST

consequences

plot: reader decides to break up with the character after not speaking to them

contains: diluc, zhongli, tartaglia (idk how am i going to do this to my special boy but ill try my best)

warnings: angst, breakups, implied past toxic behavior

a/n: OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO HARD- I DONT HAVE THE HEART TO BREAKUP WITH PEOPLE

diluc

hopeless thoughts ran through your head as you fought with yourself about wether to enter angel’s share or not, hand halfway through to the doorknob. your mind hadn’t been made up just yet, you were still in between two very different scenarios - the urge to forgive him for his hurtful words growing stronger each day, as anger and other emotions subdued to loneliness and the feeling of a part of you missing, ever since the two of you stopped talking.

your mind flashed back to the exact moment when you looked into diluc’s eyes, always so soft and calm for you, forming a way of anger he never expressed towards you before. to the feeling you got right then and there that this man is not the same one you’ve met and fell in love with.

the process of coming to terms with that conclusion was as painful as the first strike of his angry glare, and even though he seemed to have realized the weight of his words right after saying them out loud, no matter how hard you tried, you could not erase them from your memory.

one strike of that pain, one memory of that night was enough to make you go through with your plan, door to the bar opening with a little screech.

it was like just another late afternoon, with charles tending the bar, knights and townsfolk filling the hot room, and the smell of alcohol traveling through the air.

“hi” you said to the bartender “is master diluc around?”

charles, busy with his work, quickly replied that he’s out back, opening a barrel. you nodded and went where his directions guided, pushing open yet another door to see the back of the man you loved, looking just as always from this angle, working over said chore. he didn’t even seem to mind the fact that someone walked in on him working.

“diluc” you said with a sigh, and he almost immediately turned around, tools falling from his hands and onto the ground.

“darling, hi” he replied quietly, walking over to you but stopping half way, eyes set to analyze your expression, figure out what was going on in your mind. “i’m glad you’re here safely, i haven’t heard from you in over a week” he added cautiously, as if weighing every word before deciding to say it out loud.

“well” you sighed again, once again going over wether you should actually break things off right then, mind taking pity on his troubled expression, tired eyes, on the obvious eyebags that were much more apparent than before, a sign that he didn’t catch too much sleep. “i had to come to terms with what i’m about to say”

he wanted to tell you he was sorry, he really did, but words didn’t seem to come out of his throat. obviously he was sorry, it was a bad day and he meant none of what he said, but you knew that, right? you knew he always cared for you and loved you… right?

he wasn’t the best with words, hence, the idea of apologizing with a gesture after you were done teaching him his lesson came to mind. a brilliant idea, one could never go wrong with a thoughtful deed for their significant other, just give him one more chance.

“and my conclusion is, we need to take a step back and… reevaluate things in our lives. i’m not saying this is the ultimate end, but what you’ve said, and how you’ve said it made me realize…”

you were making a good point. you were talking about your feelings. he should listen, but the only thing he heard was the blood pumping through his veins, and the two single words

the end

so there won’t be another chance? he won’t be able to prove himself? what do you mean, the end? the best thing that ever happened to him in his sad life was coming to an end because of him? but he was so careful, he treated you like his treasure, because that’s how he truly felt, like his lifeline, something he could never lose…

and all it took was one sentence too much, one glare too intense. for the first time in what, six, maybe seven years, his eyes began to water, as he blinked the tears back at a rapid pace.

“… and that was a shitty thing to do. i hope you know that. i don’t know if i had anything else i wanted to say, perhaps i did, but… that’s all. see you around, i guess” you mumbled, loosing confidence in what you were saying, taking one last glance at his lost eyes before turning around.

turning around from him, from the love of your life, was perhaps the hardest thing you ever had to do, and yet you did do it.

before you could reach the door again, though, a cold hand caught your forearm. your eyes met his, with just a glimmer of hope that he would magically say all the right words and somehow make you stay, you didn’t want to leave, yet knew you had to. if you wanted to preserve the respect you had for yourself, you had to leave.

why were you giving him time to say something?

his helpless gaze seemed to speak with a thousand words, begging, pleading you to not leave through that door, but as much as his lips did part, not a single word left.

he couldn’t say anything to hold you back, and you ripped away from his grip, turned, and walked away.

and just like that,

he was all alone, again.

he was gonna need a drink.

zhongli

tears flooded your vision, blurring every details of zhongli’s face, causing you to only see a pale color palette, instead of your favorite person, ever. maybe it was for the best, maybe it would make it easier, you thought, but that was a foolish thing to hope for.

even through the salty tears, you could make out his eyes, it’s glow never failing to guide you, and comfort you, now seeming to burn their way through you, through your body and soul.

“you’re stuck in another love, zhongli, we both know that!” you exhaled a bit louder than you intended to, the outcome sounding more like an accusation than a fact. “how can you ever say you love me, when it’s so obvious, and so apparent, that every time you look at me, you see someone else? you HOPE for someone else?”

you could only wish the words you spoke didn’t come out as a complete mess, because of those tears you were constantly choking on. desperation seeped through your voice, as the feeling of helplessness rose every time you looked at your lover and at the anguish, and confusion he presented.

how could he make this so hard? it’s not like you’ve presented some statement he didn’t know already, right?

you hoped your eyes would say all the things you didn’t trust your voice to. you hoped he’d somehow hear how all you ever wanted was to be enough, was to meet his standard, how it tore you open that every time he said <i love you> his eyes wandered everywhere but onto yours, how all his touches seemed absent, how all his compliments were truly about some other face, some other smile, some other kind soul.

the worst part was, how could you blame him? how can anyone, ever, blame someone for being in love, of all things? love was something beautiful, and once you’ve experienced it, you’re drowned in it forever, and don’t even want to see the surface again.

love is beautiful. when you’re the one who’s receiving it. love was beautiful, to you, too, when you loved how his wisdom flew through his words, how his kindness hugged your spirit, how his aura brought you comfort. you loved his eyes, you loved his cheeks, his lips, every single detail of his skin.

the love you felt made you complete, made you warm, until you finally realize the thing you should’ve seen much sooner.

that you were merely a mirror for him to look at someone else, someone long gone.

suddenly all the warmth you felt was directed back at you, burning you inside, making you wish you never felt it in the first place.

“aren’t you gonna say something?” you whispered.

his long fingers found their way to your hand, but you snatched it away.

if you fell onto his charms now, you wouldn’t be able to get out once more.

his breath hitched as he gathered himself to speak

“i want nothing more than to love you” he said, although quietly, it rang through your ears like the loudest of screams.

you scoffed.

“we both would’ve wanted that, then”

“and i’m sure i can, if you just—“

now, laughter was all that you were capable of letting out.

“zhongli, you can’t train yourself to love someone. and even if you could, then how do you think that would make me feel? like i’m so unlovable you had to force yourself through it to grow accustomed to a feeling similar to love?”

“that’s not what i—“

“that’s what it means! let it go, please, please just… let me go” you sighed, standing up from the bench over at liyue harbor that you were sitting on. the sun has begun to set on the other side of the sea, and you couldn’t help but notice, it would’ve been the perfect date.

“i do sincerely hope you’ll find someone who’ll love you just the same” he finally stated, as he gave up on trying to make you stay.

“why?” you chuckled “so i could make them suffer the same way you made me?”

tartaglia

(archons give me strength)

you found nothing but guilt, looking into the endless ocean trapped in his eyes. for the first time in forever, they glistened, but not with a spark of joy, like you always hoped they would, they shone a sickly shine, caused by a thin layer of tears, that didn’t dear to spill over his porcelain cheeks, almost as if afraid of making contact with the ruthless face of the number eleven of the fatui harbingers.

he could’ve easily been crying if only he let himself go. he would’ve been in tears, sniffing and coughing, but he just… wasn’t. he held those tears in the gates of his eyes, as if his life depended on it.

the guilt you found inside them, wasn’t his, but yours. you felt guilty, watching this composed, confident man fall into pieces right before you, crumbling before your sight. why were you doing this? you seemed to forget all those terrible things you’ve heard just from the way his irises begged for forgiveness and brows furrowed in inexplicable sadness.

but you couldn’t, no, this time you couldn’t.

“my word” you swore on dear life you’d burst into tears if your voice shook right now “my word is final. we’re over. and that’s… that’s it. you need to understand that there won’t be another chance.”

the moment his lips parted, you knew you were lost.

“i have told you so many times already, but i will say this as much as i need to, it will never happen again! i swear, on everything i love and everything that i am, i swear on life itself, i won’t ever let that happen again! you know i won’t! come on, i promise you, if there’s anything you can say about me is i do keep my promises, don’t i? darling, please…”

“promise yourself to heal and become better, first” you stated coldly, watching faith disappearing slowly from his fixed look.

“im sorry, you know i am, im sorry, im sorry, im so fucking sorry!” a scream left his throat as desperation took over both reason and self-respect.

“sorry isn’t gonna cut it”

“then what will? i’ll do anything, anything in the world, anything to prove myself to you. i get that you can’t love me, i understand that, but please, let me win your trust again.”

he said unnaturally calmly, compared to what he did before, and you got concerned immediately.

i understand that you can’t love me, his words rang through your head. oh god, what were you doing? guilt stroke again, right at where you felt your heart to be.

right when you wanted to turn around and leave, he must’ve sensed that, and pulled you into a tight embrace. not suffocating, as they often describe it, not toxic and desperate, but… as loving as every other hug you’ve ever received from him. as calming and grounding, even though you could feel his heart racing. he didn’t refuse for you to leave, he didn’t trap you.

you understood after a while,

he was saying goodbye. all the love trapped inside his heart seeped out onto you, all his feelings surrounding and engulfing you.

“let me promise you this” he whispered, voice shaking painfully “the next time i’ll see you, i’ll be a better man. someone you will be able to be proud of, someone worthy of both your trust, and love. i won’t stop until i’ll be enough for you to look at me without the disgust and fear you have now. i promise. i’ll be better.”

“until then, then.” was the only thing you were capable of saying before leaving.

as soon as the door shut behind you, you rested against a wall and covered your mouth with a hand, unable to hold your tears any longer.

you heard a cry through the door. so he does have some feelings left, after all

your daily reminder that requests are open [here]

[bubbledumbbinch]

Thank you so much for doing my ask(>0<；)

I LOVED IT. I kinda have a thing for shy characters if you could tell. If you don't mind, can I request the same oral headcanons for Ruggie, Jamil, Jade and Rook this time? The one who look like the service tops? Thank you so much💕💕

Eek hello again! I’m so happy you enjoyed my last one!! I had fun writing it! Ty for the request again, I’m v excited for these set of characters. And, I like the shy ones too 🙈

ALSO THESE CAME OUT MORE LIKE SCENARIOS JKSDKJNDKNAK

A/N: This piece of writing is for 18+ readers only. Minors DO NOT INTERACT.

Warnings: Mild story spoilers for Episode 4 for Jamil(?) , mentions of blood for Jade, slight yandere for Rook 

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!

Ruggie Bucchi x Reader

Giving

Right so, it’s no secret that Ruggie is a real giver. He does so much work for Leona and is known for being giving in his community back home! He’s too sweet!

Ruggie playfully slaps your ass as you walk through the halls of NRC, making you gasp as you look around at your surroundings, making sure nobody caught him. Taking his squeezes on your body as a hint, he leads you to a hidden corner and starts to tease you more.

Ruggie also isn’t picky on location either, willing to find a hidden place around the school, a janitor’s closet, or an empty classroom. This man will please you anytime, anywhere.

The dirty blonde would definitely feel you up in preparation, knowing what spots to linger on, letting out his signature shishishi~ as he can hear you moan or feel you shiver at his fingers.

Ruggie pushes your form onto the door lightly, giggling at the way it rattled from the pressure. 

Pulling your pants down, the smell of your sweat from throughout the day, permeates his senses making his cock and ears twitch. It’s a dirty pleasure~

I can also imagine him saying “THANK YOU FOR THIS MEAL” before going down on you

Ruggie is aggressively trying to make you cum, he’s rough yet so good with his tongue, keen on hearing those sharp noises from your mouth.

When you get close, you put your hands on his head, rubbing his ears and giving him so many praises. He feels his cock twitch in his pants as he starts sucking on your clit with more fervor than before - making you squirt on his face

The beastman laps up at your juices as you ride out your high, eating up the flavors and the noises coming from you~

“Shishishi~ Y/N, you couldn’t help those lewd noises from coming out hm?” Ruggie teases, as he helps you put your pants back on. “Careful though, next time, I don’t want to risk having anybody else but me hearing those noises, okay~?”

Receiving

You and Ruggie are in his bedroom back at Savanaclaw, after a tiring day of him running errands for Leona. You praise him for his efforts and offer to suck him off to reward him for being such a good helper!

Ruggie is not used to someone offering to service HIM instead of the other way around, so don’t tease him for looking so shocked!

He blushes, asking if you’re sure you really want to. Internally there is some doubt as if he doesn’t know if you really meant it or if you were just joking.

Once he realizes you’re serious, he eagerly strips down to his boxers, letting the tent in his pants be all the more obvious.

You wanted to service the hardworking hyena boy as much as possible, stroking him through the cloth of his undergarments until you could see a dark spot on the briefs where the tip of his dick was.

Suddenly, you felt your hands moving on their own. You looked up as Ruggie was controlling your hands, making you pull his underwear off, as he couldn’t take anymore messing around. 

Eventually he lets control of you go, and he lets you bring his cock into your waiting mouth. He closes his eyes and lays into his pillow, groaning immediately.

After working his length in your mouth, he uses his hands to pull at your hair, his tail now wagging violently under him.

It doesn’t take long before he already starts to twitch in your mouth. As he gets closer, he asks to cum on your body, preferably on your chest

Ruggie lets out hot frequent pants as he releases, his ears twitching in delight as he paints your naked chest with his cum

He isn’t satisfied with one time, he is greedy and wants you to make him cum at least twice!

“Haanh- wow..! It felt so good, Y/N...” the blonde panted. He stroked himself back to hardness as he looked at his seed that served as art on your body. “Here, open your mouth, c-can you do it again for me? Please?”

Jamil Viper x Reader

Giving

Jamil has also been a giver for most if not all of his life. As we’ve come to find out, he isn’t extremely happy about being a giver and in turn putting himself and his desires after.

However, when it comes to you, Jamil wants to give you so much, at least as much as he can within his power. Nobody has cared this much about him romantically to a point where he can feel like he can be himself.

Jamil convinced to teach you how to make one of your favorite dishes of his in Scarabia’s kitchen, his hands grazing over yours as he stands behind you, fingers lingering over places all over your body, his touches ghosting over your ass. You hadn’t even gotten to the actual “cooking” part, only gathering the necessary ingredients and starting to cut vegetables.

Jamil’s offer to pleasure you with his mouth comes from him as he stands behind your smaller form, whispering in your ear about how he would love to taste you, making you whimper at the sound of his voice combined with his lewd words. You find yourself grinding onto Jamil, hearing a hiss leave his mouth.

After finding a clean table in the kitchen to set you on top of, Jamil makes sure to lock the door to the kitchen and make sure the coast is clear before he stalks back to your form with a mischievous glint in his eye, promptly pulling your pants down and licks up your clothed pussy.

Jamil moves the cloth to the side and skillfully uses his tongue to lick up and down your cunt, then directing his attention to flicking his tongue on your clit.

Jamil’s so good at this you have to wonder how many time’s he’s done it before, but a particularly hard suck at your clit is bringing your full attention back to him.

Jamil also knows how to use his hands, bringing his calloused fingertips from basketball practice and putting them to use on your nipples.

Maintaining eye contact with his dark eyes, Jamil works you up gradually to a slow but intense climax. He holds onto your legs as you squirm in front of him. You’re struggling to find something on the smooth table to grip onto so you bring your fingers to his head, feeling his smooth black locks in your grasp.

Only moans and slurping sounds can only be heard in the kitchen as you try to keep yourself silent. “Y/N...” Jamil’s liquid honey voice calls to you. “Let me hear those beautiful sounds you’re making, my jewel. Let me hear you scream out my name as you cum..!” was all you heard before losing yourself to the pleasure once again.

Receiving

Jamil was coming by to visit you at Ramshackle dorm after basketball practice. The way his tan skin glistened with sweat never escaped you, and your gaze trailed from his eyes, to his arms, down to his gym pants. His sweat seeped through his clothes and created multiple dark spots.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, Jamil was perceptive and smirked once he noticed where your gaze was at the moment, blush coating his cheek as he chuckled. He would never push you however to do anything sexual, if you didn’t want to.

Like Ruggie, Jamil would be a bit shocked about you offering to give him a blowjob. He knew you were bold but... the fact you were offering it to him and knowing who he was, what he’s done, and you still forgave him... Jamil is absolutely shocked but he feels a certain emotion that makes his heart feel warm.

He lets you take the lead as you both lay in bed, kissing him gently while stroking him through his pants. Every grunt and pant is like music to your ears.

You crawl down so your face is near his crotch, as you pull down his pants and free his member. After a few pumps and a very visible bead of precum comes to your attention, you stare into his eyes as you take him into your mouth.

Jamil releases a low sigh, as if he doesn’t want to be heard by a single soul. His expression can only be described as admiring as you bob your head up and down his cock, stroking what you can’t fit into your mouth in your dominant hands.

Jamil covers his face with his hood, cheeks visibly red and his hair splayed messily on your bed. Suddenly, he bucks his hips up when you tongue his head, causing you to moan in pleasure.

Jamil warns you of his incoming release, telling you to go faster. You answer his pleas and suck more of him and move your hand faster up and down his dick, causing him to groan loudly and release his hot cum.

You look up and see him staring down at you with piercing dark orbs, black bangs sticking to the side of his face as he’s panting heavily.

“Let me see it, my jewel. Open your mouth.” You obeyed Jamil and opened your mouth to reveal all of his cum on your tongue, allowing it to drip onto his limp cock. “Tsk, it looks you’re gonna have to clean this up now...” Jamil placed a hand on your cheek and lowered your head again, gently.

Jade Leech x Reader

Giving

Lord have mercy I’m boutta BUST

Jade notices how tired you are when you’re both working shifts in the Mostro Lounge, seeing how you stretch your back and move a bit slower than usual. He can tell you’re nearing the end of your multiple hour shift.

Once you’re both finished your shifts, Jade offers to lend you his bed to rest on. He smirks once you turn away hehe

While you rest yourself on his bed, you take off your blazer, scarf, and hat from your uniform. You close your and you hear Jade from across the room shuffling about - removing his shoes, the sounds of his clothes being placed into his closet, his steady breathing.

Jade was beautiful. 190cm of pure intimidation, yet he was always gentle and chivalrous towards you. His stunning eyes were unique and the way he smiled at you only served to send shivers through your body. Not with fear but exhilaration.

You moved your head to sniff at his pillow, inhaling his scent of light cologne and pressing your legs together under his covers. Suddenly you hear him leave the room and you take the bold liberty to remove your shirt and pants. If he finds you, you can just weasel your way into making him believe you were too hot, right?

After several minutes of imagining Jade’s presence and his scent, you nearly screamed when you felt a sudden dip in weight on the bed, opening your eyes to see Jade’s signature smile.

Once he rips off his sheets from your body, he smirks and trails his fingers lightly along your form - from your chest, your abdomen, then finally to the waistline of your panties.

Jade bites you lightly, on your plush thighs, drawing a bit of blood and licking the wounds, making you squeal.

“May I?” Jade looks into your eyes, voice as smooth as ever. After given the signal of approval, Jade removes your undergarments swiftly and gets to work on your leaking pussy, tongue changing paces on your clit.

After a few minutes, Jade eases off. “If you don’t mind, darling...” he simply mutters as he takes off his gloves and inserts his long middle finger into your hole, earning a throaty moan from you.

Jade feels his cock leaking from the actions and sounds coming from his partner - yet he only pays attention to you, focusing his energy on pleasing you.

It feels like electricity running through you as your orgasm rips through your body - you gripping onto Jade’s bedding as you still feel him on your pussy, slowing down his ministrations as you come down from your high.

“Oya oya~ what do we have here?” Jade whispers. “I could smell your arousal from the other room, darling. Have I been neglecting you?” He feigns sadness as he raises his eyebrows and licks his lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll service you soon so, please, allow me...”

Receiving

Jade was coming back to campus from one of his frequent trips to the mountains to gather some mushrooms. Some were questionable and some were edible, and Jade loved to find out which were which.

You offer to service Jade, teasingly, when he told you he was going to cook one of your favorite mushroom dishes for you with his fresh inventory.

“Oya? Don’t tease me like that, you’ll make me think you’re serious. Although, that would be nice.” He chuckled, patting your head. You huffed and started working on his pants, lowering them to reveal his still flaccid penis.

You started gently working on Jade’s length with your fingers, watching how the blood started to rush to it and make it harden. As precum leaked down his dick, you licked it from where it was on his length back up to his tip, taking him into your mouth.

Jade only offered a pleased “Hm.” as you started to move his girthy dick in and out of your mouth. You stared up to see his face, still the same expression as ever, but with a light blush across his cheeks. Were you not making him feel good..?

As if the eel merman could sense your feelings, he gave you firm praises telling you how good it feels and to keep going.

As you move faster, Jade starts meeting your pace by moving his hips to meet your mouth, chasing after his own release.

Jade makes light grunts and starts panting when he finally cums into your mouth, staring into your eyes. You swear his heterochromatic eyes glow, whether you have the lights on or not.

“Aah, darling... you were lovely.” Jade praises you and strokes your hair. “I wonder, how you’ll feel if you serviced me with your other holes...” Jade’s smile only grew as he bared his serrated teeth.

Rook Hunt x Reader

lord have mercy im boutta bust part 2

Giving

Rook Hunt is a romantic - he’s over the top, poetic, compliments you endlessly, gives you plenty of affection, what more could you want from a lover? Some may think he was too eccentric but you loved that about him.

You were in his room as he showed you his collection of photos. You knew Rook had a thing for taking candid photos of people, it was quirky and it made him unique! However, when you passed by a certain page, Rook quickly tried to take the album from you frantically.

After finally pulling it back, you open the next pages to see many photos of you from afar, close up photos of your clothed chest and photos of you in gym class, your shorts showing off your thighs shining with sweat. Around the photos were hearts on the photo covers and cute stickers.

Rook visibly grows embarrassed, furrowing his brows and looks away from you.

However, you take the opportunity to bring his chin back to face you, and plant a loving kiss onto his lips. Were you really not creeped out by him?! You already had a feeling Rook would have done something like this. In fact, the idea of him being so fixated on you only turned you on more.

“Mon amour... I’m sorry but you are so ravishing I could not resist.” Rook bites the bottom of your lip, making you gasp. He uses this opportunity to skillfully let his tongue slip into your mouth. Feeling the way his tongue moved over your tongue, you couldn’t help but whisper “I wish I could feel your tongue somewhere else, mon chasseur d’amour...”

Something inside of him awoke when you used what little knowledge of his mother tongue to speak so seductively like that. Swiftly, Rook lifted you from your position on your chair and brought you to his bed.

With your permission, he stripped you down fully naked to be able to admire your beauty. He sighed as his cock twitched in his pants at the sight of your nude form.

It feels like heaven once Rook’s mouth is kissing your lower lips. He moans into your cunt as he tastes your juices - making a show of his tongue working hard on your clit. Vibrations are sent from his throat through your body as he moans while sucking violently on your clit, making you scream in pleasure.

Yet, he doesn’t stop - after he notices you really love when he does that, he keeps going. Now, he slips a finger to your dripping pussy and uses his fingers on his other hands to play with your nipples.

The overstimulation has you screaming, panting his name and squeezing his head into your thighs. You’re cumming as a blubbering mess, only his name leaving your mouth as high pitched squeals.

“Ah, Y/N, mon amour...” Rook’s blonde locks stick to his face in a mixture of his sweat and your juices as he raises his head up. “You were amazing! I wish I could have recorded that so I could watch it over and over again... you won’t mind if I did that next time, right?”

Receiving

You and Rook hadn’t seen each other as often as you’d like, recently. Whether it was with his Science club’s activities, your assignment workload being too intense, or just misalignment of schedule free time, you felt down.

You missed your blonde lover and his affection. Therefore, you hatched a plan. You had ordered a bunny suit and ears and were waiting in his room. You admired the way your thighs and breasts looked in the suit, angled his chair towards the door, sat on it with your legs crossed, and waited.

After minutes that felt like hours, you heard his footsteps and humming from outside of his room. Opening the door, Rook stopped dead in his tracks as he caught sight of you waiting for him.

He dropped his backpack to the floor, closed the door, and practically dashed to where you were sitting, falling to his knees and kissing your pantyhose clad legs.

After a few heated kisses were exchanged from this position, you got up to lift the blonde up from the floor and push him to the chair you were just sitting in.

“Roook~ my love, I’ve missed you...” you whined, unbuckling his pesky uniform pants. “Let me service you today, mon chasseur d’amour~” he groans at the use of his self given nickname leaving your mouth.

Rook watches intently as you pull his pants down and kiss up his legs, stopping where his undergarments started. Gazing up at him with half lidded eyes, you took the fabric down with your teeth, causing him to breathe heavily and moan at the sight

You part your lips and lick his throbbing pink head, tasting the precum as you sink further down his length. Slowly, you bring your head back up only to come back down, sucking his cock eagerly.

Rook had a mirror on his wall that was, luckily, facing him so he could see the view of your back and the way your ass looked in the tight bunny suit you wore. He even fawned over the little tail that was on top.

Cupping his balls and stroking his cock with your free hand and your mouth, you could feel him twitch. Rook brought his calloused hands to entwine his fingers in your hair as he feels himself coming close to his orgasm.

Rook spits nothing but praises into your ears as he releases his seed into your mouth, listening to you gag lightly. You swallow his cum and he pulls you up high enough to kiss you, his greedy tongue tasting himself in your mouth.

“Mon amour, what a little trickster you are, no? I never expected to see you waiting for me... it’s like I got caught in your trap, oui?” Rook wiped his forehead of his sticky sheen of sweat. “My, bunny... you look like you’re in heat. Why don’t we take care of that together? I’ll help you this time...”

Anyways... 

[noctumbra]

peaches: nine [part two]

summary ─ a kiss sealed their love once again, but it was only filled with adoration and love this time. 

pairing ─ dadsbestfriend!bucky barnes x reader

warnings ─ smut, +18, age difference (reader is 21, bucky is 39 40), cockwarming, hand feeding, light d/s dynamics, anal sex, plugs, dirty talk, kissing, fluff, pet names

a/n ─ it took a little while to post this, i know, i’m sorry. BUT THIS IS THE END. THE FINAL PART. WE’RE SAYING GOODBYE TO THEM. I’M EMOTIONAL. i really hope you like this final part! so please, please, leave a comment if you do and tell me what you think! thank youuu <33

series masterlist ─ part one

FINAL

It was little past three when they woke up. Both of them had collected some of the energy they’ve lost during the round one.

Bucky was in the kitchen, making a fruit bowl, when she walked in only in her underwear. Her hair was a mess, she had bruises adorning her thighs and her lips were swollen from all the kissing and the stubble Bucky was sporting. “Hey,” she murmured, sleepy tone was heavy in her voice. Bucky looked up with a soft smile.

“Hello, baby,” he greeted her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She hummed. Her arms were quick to wrap themselves around his waist, she plastered her naked torso against Bucky’s bare back.

“How you are so damn warm all the time, I don’t even know,” she grumbled, rubbing her cheek against the muscle. “No complaints, though,” she added, eyes closing. Bucky chuckled lightly.

“Mm,” Bucky hummed. “You’re welcome to use me as your personal heater, honey.” She made a noise that sounded very much like ‘duh’ and then tightened her arms. Smiling widely, Bucky went back to cutting the strawberries in half. After he was done with them, he moved onto the bananas.

“Can we melt some chocolate, too?” She asked, peering up at his work at his side. Bucky nodded. He knew he had some chocolate they could melt somewhere in his kitchen.

“Sure,” he agreed. “Gotta find it first, though,” he added. She made a sound of approval and stayed in her place, on his back and hugging him. Bucky, feeling content and happy with her body in contact with his, started humming a song to himself silently. Not too long after, he was done with the bananas and now it was the time to search for the said chocolates. “Wanna help me locate the chocolates?” He asked even though he knew the answer.

“Nah,” she grumbled. Bucky shook his head fondly.

“Gotta let me go so that I can find’em, love,” he murmured. She whimpered, the thought of being away from him even for a minute was something she did not want to do. “I’ll be quick, c’mon.” Bucky gently led her to one the chairs in the kitchen and made her sit down. He pressed a kiss on her forehead, stroking her cheek with his thumb. It didn’t take him even a minute to find them; they were in his junk food drawer. Bucky did a quick job to melt them and gathered everything on a tray.

Both of them walked back to the bedroom. Carefully getting on the bed, Bucky placed the tray on his night stand. He could sense that she was trying to find the right position, but Bucky had other plans.

“Nuh-uh,” he said, patting his thighs. “Come up here.” She felt the warmth licking her face as she looked at Bucky. He smirked. “Yup,” he nodded. “You gonna keep me warm while I feed you, that alright, baby?” Choosing to staying silent, she nodded as well. She climbed on Bucky’s lap, settling over his groin, and barely surpassed a moan when she felt he was half-hard already. Bucky hummed. “Lift up,” he said and tapped her ass. She did, lifting herself on her knees, Bucky grabbed his member and lined it up. “C’mon.” She took a shaky breath as she lowered herself on his cock. His half-hard length getting enveloped by her silky heat, he was fully hard in matter of minutes. Bucky let out a satisfied groan.

“So good, baby,” he whispered as he stroked her bare thigh under his hand. Leaning a bit forward, he stuck his fork into one of the strawberries and dipped it in the chocolate. “Open.” Obeying his order happily, she let him feed her with chocolate covered fruits in peace. The silence between them was calm and nice; it felt like their bond was somehow getting stronger. The soft smiles on their faces were a proof of how happy they were to be together. Between the hand feeding and exchanging soft smiles, his hard length into her pussy was forgotten. It wasn’t about pleasure, the way she was seated on that thick cock, but about the trust and skin-to-skin contact. Their bodies were touching from head to toe, and both of them were loving it.

“Sometimes I wish,” she started, her voice held a sleepy tone but she wasn’t sleepy, just serene. “that we could stay like this forever.” Bucky hummed as he put the fork into the empty bowl and settled deeper into the bed.

“Recently I started wishing the same thing more than you can imagine,” he whispered, the truth spilling from his lips without a hesitation. “I’ve been thinking about talking to your parents about us.” She froze briefly on top of his body, and then her head turned and her eyes found his.

“You think it’s time?” Bucky knew her long enough to tell that she was scared, and he could understand why she was feeling that way. Her parents were Bucky’s long time friends if not his only friends. If they didn’t approve his relationship with their daughter, it was most likely to be over and that meant both of them losing the other. Not that both of you wouldn’t fight for each other, making them understand what their relationship was based on, but even if it would be brief, it would hurt you both very much.

Neither of you were ready to lose the other.

“I’m tired of hiding,” Bucky said. “I’m tired of not being able to hold your hand or hug and kiss you the way I want to. I’m tired of sneaking around. I want to take you on dates where we don’t care if someone we know would see us. I want to show you off, want to introduce you as my girlfriend, my partner. I just want to live my life with you and show my love for you to the whole world freely.”

“Bucky…” She whispered and pressed a kiss on his neck. Bucky sighed when her lips moved to his jaw to his lips. The kiss they shared was chaste and soft but carried their delicate love and their strong lust in itself. She wiggled on his lap; widening the stance of her legs, she wrapped her arms around his neck and looked him in the eye. “I love you so much.”

Bucky smiled. His eyes were a little red with sudden rush of tears. His hands moved from her waist to her cheeks, and he cradled her face gently. “I love you so much, too, peaches.” With a small whimper, she kissed him.

Their eyes were closed, chests heaving as they kissed and kissed. His hands stroked her cheeks, slid into her hair and then to her waist. Bucky held her against his body gently. Although they had the rush of pleasure in their actions, the love and tenderness were there. Both of them were yearning to be even closer to each other.

“Bucky…” She sighed when his lips moved to her neck, sucking small, barely visible hickeys on the sensitive flesh. Her hands were in his fluffy hair, nails scratching his scalp and fingers sometimes pulling his hair. “Sir, I need you, please,” she begged sweetly.

“No begging, baby,” Bucky whispered to her lips. “You gonna get whatever you want tonight. I want to give you everything you want, alright?” She nodded, breathless. Bucky gently laid her on her back. His cock still inside her, Bucky settled in between her thighs even more securely as he leaned in for another kiss. “You always gonna get whatever you want. ‘m always gonna give you anything you want or wish or need, okay, sweetheart?” She nodded again, eyes a bit teary. Bucky smiled and kissed her cheeks. His thumbs were stroking the soft skin of her sides, making her whimper in his ear.

“Sir,” she panted lightly. “Kiss me?” It was Bucky’s turn to whimper and give in, lips finding hers without missing a beat.

This kiss was dirty, rushed and sloppy. The lust between them got intense when their positions changed. Bucky’s tongue was licking her lips, inside of her mouth and making her moan with the control he was performing for the kiss. It was so easy to dominate her, so easy to control her, especially when she was letting him, it made Bucky dizzy. Bucky moaned.

“Baby,” he whispered. “Tell me what you want, hm?” His lips moved from her lips to her jaw, nibbling on the flesh and rubbing his scruff all over. You whined lightly.

“Your other present, Sir,” she said, making Bucky moan loudly. “Want you to open it.” Bucky pulled back just a little. “Want you to be the first and last.”

Bucky wanted to scream.

The way she was giving herself to him felt so damn good, Bucky didn’t know how to deal with the feeling. It was so intense and mix of bunch of other emotions: He wanted to hug her and never let go, maybe hide her in his chest, and he wanted to leave his marks on her so that everyone would know whose she was.

Instead, he started with loving on her the way she loved.

“Okay,” he murmured. He slowly pulled out, leaving her empty and gaping. His hands roamed her beautiful body as he helped her flip on her belly. She did so with a moan: Face buried in a pillow, arms placed on both sides of her head and her ass up in the air. She looked so gorgeous, so ethereal and his, Bucky wanted to mark her.

So, he did.

He leaned forward and bit harshly on one of her ass cheeks. She gasped. Her hands fisting the bedding, she closed her eyes. Bucky pulled back to look at the mark he left behind: It was a perfect brand of his teeth sitting on her ass cheek. He hummed. He slapped the other cheek lightly to make it burn and to watch it jiggle.

“O-oh,” she moaned. The little sounds she was letting out were driving Bucky mad in the most beautiful way. Biting down on his lip, Bucky trailed one finger from his teeth marks to the plug sitting nicely between her cheeks. It was teasing him, luring him in to look at it, and Bucky fucking loved it. She was letting him have her this way, she chose him to the first one there, and honestly Bucky didn’t know what he had done to deserve you.

“I’m gonna pull it off, a’right?” He whispered and saw your head moving up and down. His fingers grabbed the base of the small, heart shaped plug and pulled it off just a little before tucking it back in. She hummed. Wiggling her ass, she pressed against the heat of Bucky’s body.

Bucky played with the plug; pulling it back and pushing it in, he made her groan throatily into the bedding, made her move her hips and chase the pleasure. He could see how wet her pussy was, it was literally glistening. Bucky wanted to bury himself in there, but he did that already. It was his first gif. This time, it was going to be this small, other hole which she presented to him beautifully.

Humming to himself, he pulled the plug but did not push back in, this time. He pulled it off slowly. As soon as the widest part was off, plug fell onto the bed, winking innocently at him. Bucky groaned when he saw her loose hole. He needed to prep her a bit, but he was okay with it.

“Love,” he called out to her gently. “Grab the lube from the drawer for me.” Whimpering slightly, she lifted herself onto her arms and opened the drawer, finding the lube immediately. Bucky extended his hand and explained what he was going to do to her as she passed it. “You’re loose, but I’m gonna prep you a bit more, okay, baby?” She nodded. “I don’t wanna hurt you.” He leaned forward and kissed her tailbone. She shuddered.

Bucky squirted some lube in his hand; his fingers found their place over her hole, Bucky started circling the still tight muscle. Bucky slipped one finger inside gently. It was loose enough the let it in in one go. He hummed again, but thoughtfully. He slipped in another finger and heard her sigh deeply.

“Y’alright?” He asked, immediately stopping. She nodded, humming appreciatively.

“Feels good,” she murmured. She was rubbing her face onto his pillow, and Bucky felt his heart swell at the sight even though he was two fingers deep inside her ass. Scoffing lightly, he shook his head.

“Okay,” he said. “Tell me if I hurt you, please.”

“M’kay, Sir,” she whispered.

Bucky petted her side before continuing to prep her. As he moved his fingers in and out, adding more lube and fingers, he felt her hole loosening up bit by bit. Soon, she was moaning and whimpering and grinding her hips against his touch.

“Sir,” Bucky heard her whining. He smirked.

“Yes, peaches,” he answered casually. His fingers were moving relentlessly in her.

“Siirr,” she whined again. “I’m ready, Sir, please─” Bucky crooked his fingers, causing her to cut herself off with a loud moan. She felt ready, and he knew he couldn’t hold it any longer. His cock was hard as fuck for some time now. Groaning, Bucky grabbed a condom. He moved quickly to put it on, hands trembling slightly with the excitement.

“Y’ready?” He rasped. His hands were holding her cheeks open, making her glistening loose hole to wink at him cheekily. She nodded. She looked far too gone to talk with sentences, and Bucky could understand. He was about to lose words, too, he could feel it. “Mmm, okay,” he whispered. He grabbed his hard cock and lined it up.

The slide in was slow. Torturously slow.

She could feel every ridge and vein as Bucky slid in slowly. He threw his head back. The groan that got ripped deep in his chest was loud; she trembled. It was so fucking hot to hear him moan and groan and losing himself like this.

“Oh, fuuck,” Bucky moaned. He was looking at where they were joined, watching himself slide in her virgin hole and was desperately trying not to come too soon. “Fuck, sweetheart─” He gasped when he felt her walls ripple around him. He stilled. He was panting and was only halfway in. He wanted to take it slow, didn’t want to hurt you, but it was really hard not to just slam in.

“Bucky─” She whimpered. “God, shit, move.”

“Don’t wanna hurt you,” Bucky breathed. Sweat was beading on his forehead and chest already, and his body felt like it was on fire.

“You won’t,” she hissed. “Just fucking move─ Fuck─” Groaning, she wiggled her hips, clenched around him and wiggled a bit more. Bucky’s hold on her hips tightened. He started to move his hips again. He was fucking in half an inch more with his every thrust. She moaned. “Yeah, move, Sir, fuck yes, move!” Her hands found the back of his thighs, her nails dug in deep as she pulled his hips against hers.

Both of them moaned loudly as Bucky buried himself to the tilt with her yanking. Her thighs were trembling, walls were rippling like crazy around his cock, and they were both on the verge of coming.

“Shit,” Bucky hissed. She felt so fucking good around him. It was tight as fuck, hot and wet and tight. Bucky was about to lose his goddamn mind. He leaned forward, covered her body with his as he closed his eyes and tried to calm down. Kissing her bare shoulders and neck, Bucky smiled dopily. “Not a virgin in there anymore,” he whispered before kissing her cheek. She giggled breathily. She took one of her hands from his thigh and tangled it in his fluffy hair, pulling him in for a filthy little kiss.

Bucky moaned as he bit on her lip, licked in her mouth and just kissed her as sloppily as he could. His hips were moving back and forth a little because he still felt like he was about to come, and he didn’t want this to end so quickly.

After what felt like an hour but was actually ten minutes, Bucky started to slam his hips harder and deeper. His cautious pace was now replaced with hard and deep and a bit filthy one which got her moaning and whimpering under him so prettily.

“You love it, don’t you, love?” Bucky whispered in her ear as he slapped her ass cheek lightly. “You love how full it makes you feel, hm?” She nodded vigorously. He did feel so good in her, made her feel so damn full, she never wanted him out of her. Bucky slapped her ass cheek again, this time digging his blunt nails. She gasped. “You’re drippin’,” Bucky murmured and trailed one of his hands from her ass to her pussy and slid two fingers inside.

She screamed.

“Yeah,” Bucky groaned. “Sing for me, baby, c’mon.” The pace he set up got harder and faster. The sound of skin slapping skin and obscene wet sounds were so loud. Like it was possible, Bucky was getting more turned on with each thrust. “Your ass is a fuckin’ wonder,” he hissed. “A peach for fuckin’ sure, sweetheart.” Snarling, he moved on the bed. He wrapped his hands on her knees and spread them even more apart as he pressed the outside of his thighs to her inner legs. She was practically sitting on his lap now.

“Oh fuck!” She cried out. With this new position, Bucky slid in even deeper and was now stroking something sensitive in her with his each thrust. He still had two of his fingers in her pussy and now a thumb was pressing on her clit. “Oh shit, ‘m close!” She moaned. “’m so close, Sir, fuck!” Her hands flew and grabbed his ass. Her nails dug in deep as they pulled his hips against hers harder. “Yes, yes!” Throwing her head back, she bared her throat to him.

Bucky snarled as he placed his mouth on the exposed neck. He wanted so badly to leave some marks there, but he couldn’t, he knew it. Not yet.

“Come,” he ordered, voice rough and hoarse. “You come on my cock now, and I’ll fuck your pussy after, feed her with my come.” She swore, groaned and whimpered. Her eyes rolled back as Bucky pinched her clit, and she came screaming.

Bucky’s whole body trembled, and he collapsed on the bed with her body under his. The clench of her ass on his cock was so tight, he thought he might come any second if he even dared to breathe.

She shivered, her body shook violently and her muscles twitched. The orgasm that rolled through her body was very strong and intense, she felt herself floating. With a sigh, she relaxed under Bucky’s body and moaned happily. She could feel Bucky’s hands roaming all over her, fingers stroking her hair.

“Mmm, fuck,” she grinned happily. Bucky kissed her shoulder.

“You back with me?” He asked, and she nodded. She looked so blissed out, Bucky felt proud. He kept peppering kisses on anywhere he could reach. She hummed.

“Kiss me,” she whispered, and Bucky obeyed immediately. Their lips met in a chaste and loving way, and both of them sighed. It lasted for only four seconds, but it was a very sweet kiss. Then, she pushed him back lightly, signaling him to pull out and off. He did. He slid out of her abused her as carefully as he could and sat back on his haunches.

“You promised me something,” she murmured. Flipping on her back, she spread her legs. “Feed me.”

Bucky choked on his next breath. “Baby,” he gasped. “I’m an old man now, don’t spring shit like this on me.” She giggled. Smiling, he walked between her legs again and took the condom off, ditching it somewhere. He leaned in to kiss her cheeks as he slid into her dripping pussy. Bucky groaned.

Her ass was so damn amazing, but he knew he’d always prefer her pussy because goddamn.

“Mm, c’mon, Sir,” she mewled, her hands grabbing onto the muscles on his back. “C’mon, she’s hungry, feed her, please.”

“Fuck,” Bucky whispered and started thrusting at a mad pace. He was chasing his relief, not bothering with his technique or something. All he needed was to empty his balls and lose himself in the throes of pleasure.

It didn’t take him too long. With a loud groan which he buried into her neck, he came inside of her. His cock twitching and releasing stripes of come in her pussy, Bucky sighed and plopped himself onto her. She huffed. Not saying anything, one her hands immediately started playing with his hair while the other started its trailing down on his back and up. Bucky shivered.

They stayed like that for a while. Skin-to-skin, serene and post-coital, they laid there on the bed. Outside was chilly, wind was howling, but neither of them cared about it because they had each other’s body heat to stay warm.

“Are we really gonna tell my parents about us?” She asked. Bucky hummed.

“Yes,” he said. “I don’t wanna hide anymore. I’m an old man, now.” She snorted as Bucky grinned.

“You can’t play that card every time,” she grumbled. “I don’t wanna hide anymore, either,” she whispered then. Bucky kissed just above her breasts.

“I want you to be mine officially,” Bucky whispered, lifting his head up and looking at her. “And you will be.” She smiled fondly. Her nails scratched his beard, stroked his cheeks and ran through his hair.

“Okay,” she murmured. “Happy birthday, baby.” Bucky smiled widely, the crinkles around his eyes showed themselves, making your heart beat wildly.

“Thank you, peaches.”

A kiss sealed their love once again, but it was only filled with adoration and love this time.

──

“Um, Dad? Papa?” She called out softly.

“Yeah, sweetie?” Steve said, Sam only humming as he put his book down. She walked into the living room with Bucky slowly. Her heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was about to burst. Bucky brushed his hand against hers in a soothing manner.

“There is something I want to tell you something,” she announced. “Actually Bucky and I wanted to tell you guys something.” Both Steve and Sam sat up straighter, their eyes trained on you intently. Bucky held her hand.

“Y/N and I have been seeing each other romantically a little longer than a year now,” Bucky said. “It started out with only one night, but then feelings happened and…” Bucky’s eyes found hers, a fond smile forming on his lips. “I love her.” She felt her cheeks heating up, but she was so nervous that she couldn’t even feel the butterflies moving happily in her stomach.

She took a deep breath and tightened her hold on Bucky’s hand. Her parents were looking at them without blinking. The silence was almost deafening, she just wanted them to say something.

“You know what, Barnes?” Steve suddenly said, and the instant fear took a hold of her body. “I fucking hate you.”

“Gimme my five hundred bucks,” Sam grinned as he extended his hand out to Steve. “Oh, and that vacation you promised, too. I could really use one.”

“W-what?” She whispered. “You’re not mad?”

Steve let out a surprised laugh. “Mad? Honey,” he chuckled. “Sam and I knew for a while. You guys aren’t so subtle, y’know.” Bucky blinked a few times.

“What.”

“The day we were gonna make a barbecue? You both were in the garage and you said that you were helping Bucky to unpack or something?” Steve said. She nodded. “I saw the car windows and Bucky’s face.”

“Oh, at the New Years,” Sam chimed in. “We knew you were kissing because Y/N’s lipstick was sort of visible on your lips.”

“Oh my God,” she gasped. “What! You knew!”

“Yes,” they both said, grinning.

“And we’re okay with it,” Steve added immediately. “We know how supportive Bucky is, and although the age thing sort of weirded me out at the beginning, I’m okay with it now.” Steve paused. “It’d be a hypocrite of me to judge you for that since me and Sam have like nine years of age gap between us.” He shrugged.

“And,” Sam said. “We know Barnes for a very long time and to be honest, he’s been really happy this past year. It’s good to see him enjoying the life for once.” He smiled. “Although that doesn’t mean that if you make her cry or sad, I’ll kick your ass no matter what, you hear?”

Bucky chuckled. “I hear, Wilson, I hear.”

“Good,” Sam nodded and then he grinned. “C’mere you two.”

The hug they shared was a sort that only families shared. With Sam and Steve’s paternal love and Bucky’s protective, loving arms around her, she felt at peace.

No secrets. No hiding.

They were officially a family now.

fin

[muffindaddystyles]

harry would be such a soft dom with bloody hard kinks and he’d say things like “oh baby, i’m going to have to punish you for this and it’s going to hurt, but i’ll kiss you all better after i promise” iM MELTING/-?!?,?

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT I WROTE BUT I JUST KNOW ITS FILTHY AND FLUFFY

Harry never knew he’d be such a kinky sneak.

He loved having sex. With consent, of both parties and he had quite an edge for exploring his own sexual desires and particular holes— if you know, you know.

With Y/N out of his picture (he wishes he’d have met her before). He never had emotional attachments with his fuck buddies, no-cuddling rule was very stony and staying after a nice fuck however was a fat chance.

He didn’t expect himself to be budded with flowers whose each petal blossomed gradually, when he met Y/N. She had all his firsts with him and he felt terribly cherished, that she gave her kind little heart to him and trusted him with it.

He has promised himself to never break it, whatever it takes him too.

When Y/N bugged him about kinks and rough sexual plays. He was hesitant to say least, walking on eggshells with easing her into it because she was just too delicate and precious for him to hurt her for getting out a blasting orgasm he could simply have by teasing her to tears and then having an amazing sex afterwards. (with Y/N he worries alot, hands diligent and tentative to her needs and limits, eyes conscious of her presence).

Y/N being a stubborn pesky menace wouldn’t leave him alone, pouting and grouching in his lap, not listening to him and rebelling just to get a reaction out of him; she just wanted him to roughen her a tad and choke and spank her peachy bum sore.

The first time. He lavished her to teary cheeks, swollen pink hued lips, and marked her body with purples and rosy lovebites—... it was heaven sent on earth for Y/N.

She felt small, secured and overly shy as Harry took pictures of her tangled in silk sheets of their bed mumbling a ‘mine.’ Under his breath and everytime she remembers the night it sends jitters down her thighs making them clench to shut down the throb in her core.

He fucked her rough and hard, holding onto her hips to leave guaranteed bruises of his grip on her when her limbs gave out sinking her into the pillows, he pounded inside her with deep strokes grinding his pelvis against her sensitive clitoris everytime he bottom out snug insid her, gritting with her face squished in his palm, “Yeah? Can’t take it babylove? Too bad,” He tutted, a knowing smirk adorned his sheeny features, “Gonna use ya however I want.” It was a last nibble to Y/N's sanity turning her into a massive puddle of loud needy moans, gushing on his cock and gasping out in surprise when he slid his fingers against her throbbing clit and circled it in calculated lazy pushes.

.

Riding his thigh. She’d always bury her face in his neck, palms pressed gently to his dense torso and always chase for his kisses when Harry’s fingers that once plays with the baby hair on the nape of her neck – spreads and slips into her hair and yanks her away from his chest and his palm draws and wraps around her throat— having his pressure known but never squeezing it too grimly.

“Choke me, please?” She’d pant, meek whines eliciting through her parted mouth when Harry thrusts his meaty thigh up into her cunt -- feeling her incredibly soaked and sticky panties gliding aside out of his little mindless action.

“My baby wan' me to choke her? Likes daddy’s hands too much, innit pet? Playing with yer soft pussy and yer pretty tits ... likes it when they mark your cute bum, mine?” He’d whisper, squeezing tightly and firmly enough to get her eyes rolling to the back of skull and her pace faster, nibbling onto her pouty lip suckling kisses and pecks on it while his hand helps her fuck herself onto his thigh.

.

Sometimes when they’re watching telly and she’s cradled in his lap, very sleepy and weary sucking onto his fingers – almost falling asleep when Harry pushes his thick digits deeply to nurse the back of his baby’s throat and she'd always whine like a disgruntled kitten, drooling down her chin with yawning whimpers and he’d always tend to her caringly, “Look at you. Sucha messy baby of mine. Lemme clean you up,” His magic cleaning tool always his tongue licking her chin and the corners of her lips until she’s a whimpering and whining mess demanding to have his cock warming her tummy.

.

He encouraged Y/N to be more familiar with her own body and needs, teaching her how to make herself feel good and not cry out of frustration when he’s away.

It started when he ordered her to play with herself and it was an absolute fruitless insistence because she got caught up into chasing the pleasure and that cloudy trip instead of relaxing and enjoying herself -- which melted her into a squirmy huffy mess, only to whine more needily when Harry reached to her rescue. “Lemme show my Angel how to fuck oneself . . . these dainty fingers of yours might not snuggle too deep in, like daddy’s does, tha’s why y'gotta learn to play with yer toys pet. Stuffs y'nice and good.” He crawled atop hers, making his presence known and pinned her hips down with his bicep while smothering kisses into the inside of her quivering thighs, her centre getting slicker and slicker with his warm daunting mouth reaching her swollen folds.

Instead of making her learn he ravished her into a proper crying mess with his tongue and his steady hand wrapped around her wrists guiding her fingers in and out of her with an abrupt speed.

.

Her punishments used to be nominal. He’d be damned if she ended up bruised awfully, because he’s very well aware how pudgy and baby like his lovie’s skin is.

She’s such a soft little peach.

Her punishment eased from getting her cummies denied, refused to be touched while Harry pounds into her cunt not empathising with her needy innocent crying (she’s getting better at her game), her wrists restrained to their bedhead with silk ties and he never forgets to make sure it’s not tight enough to stop the blood flow and make her dizzier than she already’s about to get. “Gonna tell me when ‘s too uncomfy, yeah baby?”, to getting vibrators slipped inside her hole when she acts bratty before going somewhere and all her mind could blur onto is harryharryharry, pushing her into such an intense and needy and clingy heads pace “Oh petal this ones going to hurt your poor bum, did this t'yourself. Good girls don’t get punished d'they now pet?” to getting her asscheeks spanked pink and blushy with whites imprints of his thick lengthy fingers and large palm round the globes of her bum.

Taking care of her afterwards with clean gentle cool baby wipes, “Shhh. Shh moppet knows your little clit's too sensitive, but couldn’t let you go t’sleep all messy now could I?” He’d coo, shushing her whimpers and kissing her knees swiping the drip of gooey cum oozing down her slit, then takes care of her bum, coating a good amount of soothing creams and aloevera gels to calm the sting knowing she'd be very grump in morning and batty with him when all she did is wiggle and shift while taking her online classes and didn’t hear the single damn thing her professor said.

Things only Harry could do to Y/N.

She loves taking part in his kinks as much as he does.

[yoichichi]

Aftercare HCs

captains x reader

warning(s): none - purely sweetness :)

a/n: there is some NSFW ~themes since its y’know after sex but nothing explicit or more intense than I’d say PG-13 LOL but yeah anyways - ty for requesting and as always I’d love to hear people’s thoughts! <3

characters: daichi, oikawa, bokuto, kuroo, kita, & ushijima

Daichi

He always lets you lay on his chest while you both catch your breath, and gives you a few moments before he asks how you’re feeling. He’s big on being vocal with you after to make sure you’re in a good headspace and usually ends up chatting about stuff with you mindlessly while he’s rubbing your back until you fall asleep. He tends to talk about his upcoming plans and things he’s dreading in the week to come while his low voice just lulls you to sleep. Also always has a glass of water for you after hehehehehe

Oikawa

Ok he gets very emotional afterwards. He’s not super transparent with his feelings always, but there’s something about that moment after you two just finished and your breathing heavy that it always hits him how much you mean to him. He’s very cuddly and attentive, making sure he’s doing anything he can to attend to your needs, but afterwards he just wants to be close with you. He really appreciates it if you play with his hair and let him rest his head on your chest. It’s also not unusual for him to tear up a little while he caresses your face and mutters how much you mean to him. what a little baby <3

Bokuto

I’m so sorry but it’s so hard for him to stay awake after :(((. Baby is holding you so tight against him in a bone crushing grasp and is out within 3 minutes. He just gets so clingy and feels so emotionally vulnerable and close to you after that he doesn’t want you anywhere but in his arms. He’ll try to stay up with you if you’re up after but he just can’t mans always putting in work too ok the only coherent thing you can get out of him after is usually a string of, “I love you”s and all kinds of compliments. But like I said he’s very sleepy so sometimes they don’t always make sense, “yer s’good at drivin babe.” Then he’s out. A little bit of a drooler which means it’s not uncommon for you to wake up with some of his drool on your shoulder or in your neck since he loves to bury his face there, too. Really just a big big teddy bear :,(.

Kuroo

Snack drawer? Snack drawer. He has a little snack drawer in the nightstand at his bedside that is optimal for after sex - he also has your faves stocked if you’re a big snacker too (regardless of whether or not it’s for after sex). I feel like he also loves to talk like Daichi but it ends up being more silly. The usual scene is him leaning up against his headboard shirtless while he rants about something he heard the other day that he forgot to mention to you. Also loves feeding you snacks while he talks, all you have to do is open your mouth and make a little noise and he knows what’s going down. Regarding snacks he specifically loves any kinda sour candy after - it’s actually kinda cute the way he scrunches his face up after he pops a war head into his mouth while you update him on your most recent friend drama, and he’s doing his best to hum along and act like the sourness isn’t affecting him.

Kita

So so so so so many light kisses. As soon as you guys come down from your highs he’s kissing your temple, the top of your head, your cheek, any bit of your face he can reach he’s leaving the most gentle kisses there. Same with your shoulders and back - any exposed skin he can get at really. If you giggle or groan he’s giggling and pulling away so he can get some stuff to clean the two of you up. His favorite is being able to shower with you after if you’re down, if not he does still shower on his own. If he comes back to find you asleep he just cuddles into you instead of moving you into his side so he doesn’t disturb you. Also has water ready for you after, a hydrated king.

Ushijima

Oh he’s literally such a softie. He’s immediately carrying you - it does not matter how big you are he’s doing it, he’ll be damned if you walk - to the bathroom so he can clean both of you up. And you bet your ass he’s gonna be carrying you back to bed so he can then go to the kitchen and get you anything you need. I don’t see him as someone who is super sleepy after so he’ll probably cuddle you on the couch (he doesn’t have a TV in his room cause he says watching TV in bed isn’t good for your sleep schedule and brain or whatever) and put something on that either the two of you can watch together or something to mindlessly play while you fall asleep in his arms. Even though he just ends up falling asleep with you most of the time anyways hehehehe

love you guys! Hope you enjoyed and I love love love hearing ur thoughts! And if you’d like to be added to my taglist jus lemme know :)

requests are open

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites @sweet-darling91

[buckyownsmylife]

Memory - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky's a vampire but still manages to develop a breeding kink

Warnings: smut, breeding kink, vampire!AU, creampie, daddy kink, mention of blood because of biting

A/N: this is for my darling cousin @whisperlullaby​‘s challenge, and also my own! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them, instead of on Thursdays, which are my usual one-shot posting days. I hope you guys will enjoy this silly idea of a vampire with a breeding kink 💛 I had a blast writing it! Unbeta’ed because I almost died this week and cannot be bothered to stare at my writing for any longer.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Okay, let’s play truth or dare!” I groaned as silently as possible at the proposition. One of the downsides of dating someone in college was having to deal with the immaturity of their friends, especially when I was unable to escape yet another invitation for a weekend getaway.

There were only so many encounters a man could refuse before mysterious became annoying, and I knew I was toeing the line, even if my girlfriend never complained.

She understood just how irritating these gatherings could be to me. It would have been easy to imagine if there was a realistic age gap between us, but considering the centuries that separated our birth dates, it was laughable that anyone would entertain the idea of me with a bunch of young adults who only wanted to get laid, smoke some weed and drink their asses off.

Of course, her friends didn’t know my true age, so they only thought I was a little bit irked by their behavior. Y/N knew the truth, and so evidently she tried to get me out of it, but I resisted.

I wanted her to take part in the normal experiences people her age were having. There was already so much that she was missing out on just by being with me - and I wasn’t even referring to the blood that she granted me every night.

I’d accepted to be there with her that evening. I was going to immerse myself in the full experience, if only to learn a bit more about her and those she surrounded herself with.

Her best friend let out a little excited yell when she noticed that we were joining the circle and I forced myself to smile at her. “Alright, let’s do this.” One of the male friends rubbed his hands before reaching for the bottle, making it spin as I frowned. I thought that was a different game, but apparently I was mistaken.

It landed on a girl I had yet to get acquainted with, and so I disconnected myself from the conversation as I watched my beloved laugh and have fun with her friends. It made me feel warm. It made me grateful I had decided to join.

A few more rounds went by without anything of essence actually happening. I was about to excuse myself when the bottle surprisingly stopped while pointing at Y/N.

She gasped as she stared at the man who was responsible for deciding her fate, and I already knew I wouldn’t like what was coming next. But she was smart, so she avoided the dare that would undoubtedly enrage me, leaving her to answer a question that I also would have preferred not to hear.

“So… Y/N…” He began, taking far too much pleasure at the situation, and by the way she rolled her eyes, I knew she was thinking the same.

“Yes, Simon.” He opened his mouth to say something, but instinctively looked my way. I was trying my best not to let any emotion slip through the cracks of my perfectly constructed mask, but whatever it was that he saw seemed to make him change his mind.

He closed his mouth and frowned, for a second deep in thought, before he sighed and finally voiced his question. “Just tell us one of your kinks.”

It sounded like he was trying to get this over with, and although Y/N seemed just as confused, she cleared her throat and gave him an answer.

“Oh, I don’t know… I guess.. Creampie?” Little giggles and comments rose around the circle, but nothing really stuck out and they were quick to motion her to spin the bottle so another person could have a turn.

It was a different reaction that I was expecting, especially considering what everyone did for much tamer answers, but the explanation for the lukewarm crowd was made clear by a groaned comment from Simon to the man beside him.

“This is no fun now that she isn’t single.” A small giggle resonated by my side, and I turned in the direction it came from to find my girlfriend trying to suppress her amusement behind her palm.

“Something funny, little one?” I knew they’d take notice of the pet name, but I honestly couldn’t be bothered to even pretend to care, and the fact that she smiled openly up at me showed me that she didn’t, either.

“Not at all.” She pulled me closer to deposit a quick peck on my lips and I was sure if my heart was still beating, it would have fluttered at the way she looked at me. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Of course.” Thankfully, the game didn’t last much longer - for us, at least. Somehow, the bottle didn’t land on me once, and Y/N started to yawn, her head resting against my shoulder after the third consecutive “Who would you rather bang?” question.

“I think we’re gonna leave for the night,” she excused us even though I knew she wasn’t really sleepy. She really could be an excellent actress when she wanted to.

We walked up the stairs to where the bedrooms were located, quickly getting in what had been assigned as ours for the weekend. She smiled softly at me as she reached for her backpack, no doubt looking for the one shirt of mine she always slept in, but I had a few things in my mind I wanted to ask her about.

“Why do you like creampies to much?” The words spilled out at me so unusually, considering the silence in the room, it didn’t surprise me that it took her a while to answer. When she did though, I was surprised to find her biting her lip, a look between amused and horny in her eyes when she approached me.

“Dunno.” She shrugged, taking my hands in her and playing with my fingers. I knew it was a way to avoid my intense gaze. “Guess I have a bit of a breeding kink, actually. It just felt too personal to share with those guys.”

The answer took me by surprise as I stared down at her, blinking a couple of times as I made sure to really process what she had said.

“A breeding kink?” I confirmed, and she rolled her eyes in that way I knew she did when she was embarrassed but trying to play it off as annoyed.

“Yeah, you know.” She pulled away from me to sit on the bed, legs dangling off of it almost like a child. “I like the idea of being bred. Even though I’m in no way ready to become a mother,” she added in a serious tone, making sure I understood what she meant.

But I didn’t. I didn’t and I guess it was clear in my face, because she quirked an eyebrow and jumped out of the bed, coming to stand before me once more.

“Why is this so weird to you?” She inquired, head tilted in amusement. “You’re over a century old, I’m sure your expectations regarding sexual relationships were related to impregnation for most of your life.”

And I mean… she wasn’t wrong. But I hadn’t thought about that for so long, I guess it didn’t occur to me that there was an actual term for it these days.

“There’s no way you don’t have a breeding kink.” The affirmation sounded almost like a dare, so my instinct was to fight it, wrap my arms around her torso so I’d keep her close to me, but deny it.

“You know I can’t ‘breed’ anyone anymore, darling.” But she wasn’t giving up. Her fingers softly traced my jawline, eyes sparkling with a dangerous glint as she countered, “Doesn’t mean you can’t like the idea of it.”

Even though I didn’t need the oxygen, I inhaled sharply, suddenly fascinated by her every movement, the way she gently unwrapped herself from my arms to slowly unbutton her simple dress, the one she made it look like a fucking gown.

“Think about it, Buck…” Every inch of skin that became exposed to my eyes still had my mouth watering, desperate to taste her all over.

“Wouldn’t you want to see me round with your child?” The question provoked my imagination, playing with her features as I thought about what she proposed. Her breasts fuller, stomach protuberant, and maybe a little feet rubbing against the skin, something I could kiss.

“See me carry your genes, continue your lineage… Wouldn’t you want that?” Her innocent eyes spelled trouble when she stood before me again, close enough to touch.

And I couldn’t deny that the idea did something to my heart - even though it didn’t beat anymore. Most undeniably, it definitely did something to my cock, which now strained against my pants, the arousal that the image of her impregnated by me provoked bursting as I looked at the creature that I loved in wonder and fascination.

“Are you trying to tempt me, doll?” She bit on her lower lip to stop herself from giggling before I pulled it away from her teeth when I took her in my arms again, naked breasts rubbing against my shirt.

“Is it working?” She breathed out, eyes connected to mine while she tried to gather my feelings about her attempt. I pressed her body closer, making sure she’d feel the hardness in my pants before I even voiced it.

“Very well,” I whispered in her ear, enjoying the way my cold breath awakened goosebumps all over her warm skin. She never complained about the difference in temperature, something that I was profoundly grateful for, since I loved to feel her hot blood pumping underneath my fingertips whenever I trailed my digits over her flesh.

“So tell me,” she pressed, still going for seductive even though she sounded slightly out of breath, her desire evident in the way her pupils had dilated. “Would you like to breed me, James?”

A shiver went down my spine at the question and I closed my eyes for just one second, just to relish in this sensation before I opened them to confess, “You have no idea how much I’d like that.”

My hand easily spread her lower lips, middle finger running between them to test her wetness and finding her soaked, like she always seemed to be for me. The knowledge had me smiling as I lifted my hand to taste her before making quick work of my belt, observing her slowly walking backwards towards the bed as I followed, almost like there was a thread connecting us, keeping us close.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moaned against my ear as he buried himself inside of me and I clutched at his shoulders, desperate to feel every part of him connected to every part of me.

Only he could get me this way. Chest heaving, mouth open just from the simple act of feeling him stretching me open. It didn’t matter how many times he took me, it still burned the same - and I loved it.

“Tell me, doll,” he panted, hypnotizing eyes connected to mine, unwilling to let my gaze escape his hold. “Tell me you’d want to have my child. You’d look so beautiful with your body changing because of me, wouldn’t you want that?”

I groaned, throwing my head back as James fucked me senseless, his cock ramming against my sweet spot over and over again. He knew no mercy, I knew that. I just never anticipated to have such an overwhelming reaction to a silly little kink I never even thought I’d ever get to explore.

“Answer me, little one.” His fangs came into play then, piercing around the nipple that he sucked, galvanizing me into actually responding, “I would, I would, daddy,” while pulling on his hair without even realizing.

He let go of my breasts to look at me with dark eyes - not because he had come in contact with my blood, oh no. It was clear that this was the reaction to the name that escaped me so easily, waving its way into him until it broke the last bit of his control and left him completely undone, only determined to fuck me.

I watched him lick his lips before he ordered, “tell daddy you want his cum inside of you.” Hearing him acknowledge this other secret kink, refer to himself as it had me delirious, unable to formulate any words to obey him, so I opted to hide my face in the crook of his neck, hoping the feeling of my burning cheeks would satiate him.

What a mistake.

“Oh, so now you’re shy?” He mocked, rubbing his jaw against my cheek as I whined against him. “Want daddy’s cum so much but can’t be a good girl and beg for it?”

I came with a long drawn-out gasp right then, my body twitching underneath his as his cock dragged along my walls once, twice, a third time until it spilled his cum inside of my channel. The act was so hot to me that it had me pulling on his hair, whispers of “I love you, I love you,” tumbling out of my lips.

He silenced me with a kiss, still managing to keep on thrusting until I had to push him away because of my sensitivity.

“Spread your legs for me, little one…” He ordered, brushing his tongue over his lower lip in contemplation. “Let me see the mess I left there.”

I was still a bit nervous about the whole ordeal now that the wave of horniness had left me, but I did eventually spread my legs for him, whimpering as he bit down on his own lip at the sight of his spent dripping from my abused pussy.

“Oh, you look so good like that, darling.” I could barely contain my giddiness as he laid down by my side and pulled me to rest on his chest, pressing a kiss to my temple while he caressed my arm. “But one question remains unanswered.” To my almost sleepy hum, he proceeded, “Why do you like the idea of breeding so much?”

That got me thinking, wiping the tiredness off of my muscles like a bucket of cold water. It felt weird to admit it, but at the same time, I wanted nothing more than to bare my soul to the man I loved, to have him aware of every little thing about me…

So I admitted, “I like the idea of being yours… in this very scary, slightly territorial way.” At his silence, I giggled, hiding my face on his chest as I waited for his response.

“But you are mine,” he reminded me, and even as I rolled my eyes, a silly smile painted my lips, loving that he felt like he needed to tell me that.

“I know I am,” I recognized. “It’s just another way I’d like to be claimed by you. Besides, I can just imagine how well you’d take care of me…”

Silence filled the room as we both got lost in the images of what could never be. Me with a fully-grown belly, walking like a penguin as he held up tiny onesies that looked ridiculous in his huge hands.

My heart ached for what could never be, surely, but I couldn’t really grieve a future I’d never have while I was so happy with the man who wanted to give me one.

“I’ll always take care of you.” He kissed the back of my hand, and even though he knew it wasn’t exactly what I meant, it was just enough. “I’m sorry that I can’t ever give you children.”

The guilt in his tone was almost palpable, and I wanted to do anything in my power to make it disappear. This wasn’t what I intended when I shared my sexual fantasies with him. They were just that - fantasies. I wouldn’t trade my reality for any alternative version the universe could offer me.

“It’s alright, babe,” I assured him, depositing a kiss on his chest, right where his heart would be beating for me if it could. “I think the way you want to claim me is just as territorial… and much more final.”

Bucky held me close, breathing me in - even if he didn’t need to do that to survive - before he asked me the last doubt that still hovered in his mind.

“Aren’t you scared?” And as I laid there in his embrace, feeling loved and cared for, I knew the only acceptable answer that I could give him was, “It’ll be worth it.”