#i love seeing disabled characters in fiction. makes me happy.

[luna-azzurra]

12 Emotional Wounds in Fiction Storys

Betraying a Loved One. Your character made a choice, and it backfired, badly. They betrayed someone close to them, maybe on purpose, maybe by accident. Now, the guilt’s eating them alive. They might try to fix things, but can they even make up for what they did?

Guilt Over a Past Mistake. They made a mistake, one that cost someone else. Maybe it was reckless, maybe it was a dumb decision, but now it haunts them. They can’t stop thinking about it, and no matter how hard they try to make things right, the past keeps pulling them back.

Survivor’s Guilt. Imagine surviving something awful, an accident, a disaster, but someone else didn’t make it. Now your character is stuck asking, “Why me? Why am I still here?” They push people away, convinced they don’t deserve to be happy or even alive.

Feeling Powerless. Your character is trapped, maybe in an abusive home, a toxic relationship, or just in life itself. They feel stuck, with no control over their own future.

Being Wrongly Accused. They didn’t do it. But no one believes them. Your character has been falsely accused of something serious, maybe even a crime and now they’re fighting to clear their name. It’s not just about proving their innocence, though. They’re also battling the pain of being abandoned by people who were supposed to stand by them.

Public Humiliation. They’ve just been humiliated in front of everyone, maybe it’s a video gone viral, or they were betrayed by someone they trusted. Now, they can’t even look people in the eye.

Living in Someone’s Shadow. No matter what they do, it’s never enough. Someone else, a sibling, a friend, a partner, always shines brighter. They feel stuck in that person’s shadow, invisible and overlooked.

Abandoning a Dream. They had big dreams, but somewhere along the way, life got in the way, and now they’ve given up. Maybe it was because of fear or circumstances beyond their control, but the loss of that dream has left them feeling empty.

Childhood Trauma. Something happened to them when they were young, something painful that still affects them today. Whether it was abuse, neglect, or a significant loss, the trauma follows them into adulthood, shaping how they see themselves and the world.

Being an Outsider. They’ve never felt like they fit in, whether because of their background, their personality, or something else. They long for acceptance but fear they’ll never find it.

Struggling with Addiction. They’re caught in a destructive cycle, whether it’s with substances, behaviors, or even people. The shame and struggle to break free from addiction are real and raw.

Living with Chronic Illness. They’re living with a chronic illness or disability, and it’s not just the physical challenges that weigh them down, it’s the emotional toll, too. Maybe they feel isolated, or like they’re a burden to others.

[thejollywriter]

IT'S TIME TO LAUNCH THE BOOK

WELCOME FRIENDS, TO THE BEGINNING OF AN ADVENTURE! Allow me to introduce to you, DELILAH JONES; free-lance Robin Hood and bad-ass extraordinaire.

In the cyberpunk future of The Redwood Files, Delilah Jones is half film-noire private detective, and half western-gunslinger, who rides into a lawless town and fights the bullies and the bastards that hurt innocent folks.

This anthology contains SIX, count 'em SIX short stories and novellas detailing Delilah's Adventures.

Through a Dream, Lethally; When tech CEO Michael Lense decides to hijack the soft-RAM in his employees heads in order to make people do his bidding, things can get awful, FAST. Being forced, without your consent, to be an assassin or a thief or a sex worker, and more. But Lense also has the city under-thumb. Only Delilah's got the brute force to break Lense's control, and free the city from his cruel influence.

Happy Endings, Guaranteed; Delilah has a partner, and after a long day of nonsense, is looking forward to visiting them at work to unwind. Only to get to the club where her partner works, and discover that they've been KIDNAPPED! Delilah races around the city, squaring up with every underworld hard-ass she comes across following every lead to find her partner. Except nothing is what it seems, and a simple (but tragic) kidnapping turns out to be way more nefarious than Delilah expected. . .

Delilah's Heart; recovering from the last adventure weeks later, Delilah meets a handsome butch at a dive bar. Things between the two show promise, but the butch gets called back to work by an abusive bastard who violates and exploits his employees. The butch asks Delilah for help, and as she digs into it, discovers a deeply connected mafia bookmaker who uses that underground protection to kill and exploit people without fear of consequences. Delilah's the only one who can bring justice down on this bastard, but it threatens a gang war if she does. . .

Gutter Medicine; a gang of outta-town skinheads robs an impoverished clinic in a rough neighborhood. Delilah digs into the theft, and promises to recover the medicine, only to discover that the outta-towners are stirring up trouble to pave the way for an invasion from the South. A Kingpin from Los Angeles is hungry for expansion, and Redwood is fertile ground. Unless Delilah can stop the gang, and convince the Kingpin it'd be too expensive to expand beyond the safe borders of LA.

Restitution; Delilah's robbing a rich billionaire's museum-like mansion one night when she's caught by an unlikely sentry, a very old man who'd had plans of trying to embarrass the billionaire for reneging on a deal, and leaving the old man destitute. Delilah invites him to tell his story, and she volunteers to see justice done, according to Delilah's exacting standards.

In a Name?; every trans person's name comes from a personal place and an intimate choice. This story is about a young thief, with big dreams and a hard head, how she picked her name, and the day she was reborn into Delilah-fucking-Jones.

These stories have literally been years in the making. Some of them are personal, all of them are personal favorites, and this anthology is a collection I've worked very hard on.

Genre fiction is deeply important to me, and I love bringing queer characters to this space. Every story published in this book appeared first, both as ideas and in rough-and-final drafts on my patreon.

HERE'S HOW TO BUY AND SUPPORT THE QUEER NOVELIST IN QUESTION!

my ko-fi store: this is the most direct way to support me (a disabled queer novelist) and I get the biggest cut if you buy the e-book from this source

AMAZON! you want a paperback, YOU GOT A PAPERBACK

and lastly, if you want to see my writing in advance, get your name in the credits, or get special copies in advance, my patreon

thank you for your support, and happy reading <3

[bandtrees]

this has always been one of my favorite lines in this scene it’s so striking to me. i think debating over callum’s level of lucidity and what can or cannot “fix” him is deeply antithecal to what the story is trying to express with him - but the idea that callum is still there and still a person who does have the capacity to love mingus, just not in a way she can ever comprehend or accept, because she can't comprehend or accept anything outside her narrow worldview, is sooooo good.

there is no way of actually knowing if callum is proud of mingus, much less recognizes her at all - but it's added to by the fact there's only so much of that she would accept even if he could. ultimately, she wants validation and power, his prestige, from him, she wants a supportive parental figure she never had - there's only so much of that callum is able to provide even in a world where her stint to fix his memory actually worked. he's like a hundred. he never even MET her. to say nothing of all he's missed in the past fifty-odd years. to say nothing of how his age may have messed with his mind deteriorating even without the pre-existing brain damage.

and mingus' phrasing here implies he doesn't even look at her when she visits - which brings me to the visit that radicalized her: the one after her surgery, where he was watching gingi out the window.

obviously, callum watching gingi is mostly for the thematics of it all, how similar the two of them are in ways mingus refuses to recognize, but theres also the thought of... callum's been sitting alone in that room for over half his life, barely lucid if at all. of course he's going to be drawn to a brightly-colored thing making noises and knocking stuff over outside. if he can't respond to stimuli of the people around him he's at the very least going to latch onto something more visually interesting than Brown Wall and Brown Figure.

but it's not like mingus can think of it like that, because she's internalized so much about her grandfather and built up such a specific, personalized vision of him - she doesn't see him as an elderly man with (a fictional equivalent to) dementia, she sees him as President Callum Crown™, the man she personally has to please and live up to the legacy of and make proud, disregarding the fact that's not something he has the mental capacity to even do - because she's so obsessed with validation and complete control that the only way she can get it is by either subjugating others and forcing it out of them (what she does with her townsfolk), or just completely projecting on someone who, for her purposes, is basically a blank slate.

which is maddening to her in its own way, see how crazy she drives herself trying to restore callum's memory in the first place - but also, would she be happy even if callum could see her for who she is? post-game, when she's working on herself, that's an irrelevant question as she's pushed past that need, but as we know her? absolutely not.

i love the ch3 standoff between norm and mingus as a show of "Okay guys let’s see who can dehumanize this disabled guy harder (via pedestal-putting) and justify themselves for it better" and why i think it is so important that it’s gingi who reads the postcard and ultimately speaks for callum instead of either of them, or even the narrator. they can’t read, and they struggle to, but they manage to get it right even when people are telling them to stop. and the fact they’re able to do it at all, are given the chance to do so, and are ultimately the one to wind down this conflict shows that the world of dialtown, while not perfect, really is how callum would have wanted it.

both gingi and callum are some of the most altruistic and human characters ever, and the crux of their parallels is that they are denied this by close-minded people because they happen to Behave Strangely. it's why seeing mingus act the way she does hits so hard - she loves her paw-paw, yes, but if she were to see him in a vacuum, a one-limbed man who can hardly think, much less speak for himself: or even his younger self, who was struggling to make ends meet with his odd inventions...

...well, the feeling norm's imagining here would probably be mutual. mingus' relationship with bigotry is a very fascinating one, she's very close-minded but views certain oddities (ie her flesh-head) as having earned their place and thus being fine - she's a freak too, by her own admission, but she's doing it for a just and wider purpose, so it's fine. which is, ironically, the ideology callum forced upon himself.

callum was obsessed with helping people, pushing himself to do more and more, because it was the only way he ever found respect. if he didn't help people and have grand visions for the world and make himself "useful" to society at large, then what would he be, if not a freak?

mingus and her paw-paw are very similar people, from their well-intentioned extremism, to their stubbornness and paranoia, to their inability to view themselves as anything more than a vessel for that grand cause they believe in (callum in the dialup, mingus in restoring her paw-paw's memory) - which is funny, because if mingus was able to view callum, and herself, as a flawed human person, she would come to understand how similar they really are.

:(

[jesterbells]

Tumblr New Word Dictionary

I love new words. So here's a list of recently created words and idioms I have learned through tumblr (not all of these terms were invented on tumblr but that's where I learned them--the citations specify whether the term was coined by a specific post, or cite a source for where I first heard the term even if that is not necessarily where the term originated):

blorbo: a fictional character you're a fan of. Coined by thelustiestargonianmaid.

"I'm so hungry I could get banned from facebook": coined by babyslime in response to a Wil Wheaton post

GORIMM: Gross Older Relation I Must Marry. Source: bethanydelleman

hlep: when a disabled person asks for a specific kind of help and "they do something that is not what you ask for but is what they think you should have asked for ... Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hlep." Source: giantkillerjack's therapist.

horse fantasy: something that is theoretically possible unicorn fantasy: something that is definitely (or almost definitely) impossible. Source: bemusedlybespectacled.

zomancy: soup divination. Source: cryptotheism.

UFOs: unfinished objects--"something that is unfinished but in hibernation," as distinct from WIPs. Source: knitting community and bylambd.

autoenshittification: turning cars into digital extraction machines to steal your data and money through digital infrastructure and microchips, and the endless repair nightmare of digital car systems and cybersecurity vulnerabilities. Source: mostlysignssomeportents

nude: "when your clothes are off." naked: "when you're clothes are off when you're up to something." nakey: "when you are an animal and your collar has been removed." Source.

sideways fan: following a fandom second-hand. Source: capricorn-0mnikorn.

spoken Garamond: "the over-emphasized voice people use to read poems." Source: Frances Klein's friend.

nongry/nungry: when you're starving but also don't want to eat any of the food in your kitchen. Coined by tathrin.

scrumbling: scrolling on tumblr. Coined by the mum of anti-terf-posts.

window shipping: "any shipping done without actually watching/reading the work in question." Coined by lurker-no-more.

friend John / a Friend John answer: "when someone asks a relatively reasonable question in context and the enquiree 1) speaks at length without answering the question, and 2) implies the enquirer has injured the enquiree by even asking such a thing how could you." Coined by sileana.

bitism: a new school of media criticism which asks the simple question: is the work committed to the bit? Coined by linecoveredinjellyfish

snors d'oeuvre: having a little nap on the sofa before taking onseself to bed for main sleep. Coined by SJKSalisbury (can't find the tumblr repost now).

socratic terror: "what every athenian felt when they went down to the agora in the 5th century and saw an old man with a beard approaching them." Coined by lesbianshepard.

introvirtuous: "when you're introverted but have taken on numerous leadership and outgoing roles in your life." "I'm here to help. But I'd rather not be." "Someone around here has to get things done. and unfortunately it's going to be me." Coined by soundslikerhetorical.

grundlous: "of or pertaining to grundle." Coined by IMLIZY.

concretes: specific aspects of a character that persist across interpretations. The essential, structural essence that makes a character recognizable as the same person. Rarely physical traits; subjective. Coined by Ladylark and kayanem.

skeletonin: "the happiness chemical released when you see a ghoul or perhaps a ghost." Coined by gwentrification.

broflakes: "the weak, fragile 'alpha' males who are so easily threatened by strong women." Source: rickladd (can't find the tumblr reblog atm).

the planet of hats: "the thing where a people only have one thing going for them, like 'everyone wears a silly hat.'" Source: Star Trek fandom & TV tropes, learned via homonculus-argument.

feelings yakuza: "those who turn their personal discomfort into a social evil and try to erase the target completely." Source: Japanese fandom via マロミチャン.

Ship of Thesaurus / Rogetism: "When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense." Coined by trek-tracks and Chris Sadler respectively.

Flemming's law / vibe dysphoria: "the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media." Coined by Chris Flemming and canadianwheatpirates.

fight with a gorilla: "any secret or invisible struggle." Coined by punksandcannonballers.

squimbus from my polls: the poll version of blorbo except for obscure fan favorite characters. Coined by yardsards.

pebbling: "the act of sending your friends & family little videos and tweets and memes you find online, like how penguins bring back pebbles to their little penguin loved ones." Source: NurseKelsey (can't find the tumblr reblog atm).

serpentineabouts: roundabouts that aren't round. Coined by paulgadzikowski.

luft: air equivalent of wet. Coined by questbedhead.

getting the good bologna: "when you experience something of better quality and then you’re doomed to no longer be satisfied." Coined by the family of kelssiel.

hypofixation: "the kind of things that you've autisticly decided you Do Not Care About." Antonym of hyperfixation. Coined by animate-mush.

[the-eeveekins]

I've talked about it a lot over the last 6 months, but with the year ending, I want to express my feelings once again, with more clarity.

There may never be a character who means as much to me as Suletta Mercury does. There may never be a fictional couple that means as much to me as Suletta & Miorine do. Not just because I love them so much, but also because of what their representation meant to me.

I've been a Gundam fan for over 20 years. I'd basically given up on a female main character in a main series before G-Witch. Suletta Mercury gave me representation I desperately wanted from a franchise I'd loved for decades. Representation that I'd lost hope of ever seeing.

And then they gave me even more representation by making her a queer woman. You could not have convinced me before G-Witch aired that Suletta would fall in love with another woman. That Gundam would take that step with it's first female main character, especially with a target demographic of mostly teen boys. But it did. Suletta Mercury fell in love with a woman, and not just that, she fought and earned a happy ending married to that woman. A woman who is just as equally amazing as she is.

(And while it's not representation for me personally, I think Suletta providing representation for women of color and disabled fans is also a big deal.)

I'm sure as I grow up, queer and sapphic media will continue to push boundaries, and we'll get more queer female leads in mainstream media. But I can't think of any other franchise I love where making the main character a sapphic woman would mean close to what it meant to me when Gundam did it.

Certainly there's "better" anime out there, even Gundam anime. But none of them mean to me what The Witch From Mercury meant to me. None of them come close to the love I have for this show and these two women.

[lavendermoonlitskies]

Hi.

It’s been a very intense week. I am a little embarrassed by the level at which I publicly freaked out on here about the possibility of losing this fandom, i.e. my happy place, and even more so how disgusted I am by that awful man’s actions, but I’m going to leave those posts up because they are genuinely how I feel and I do not want anyone to think I no longer care about what he has done.

I posted a lot about not wanting to lose this fandom space or the enjoyment out of watching this series, but with my head a little more clear, I want to make it known that victims of sexual assault getting justice for what has happened to them is always the number one priority. At best, NG took advantage of his authority to get what he wanted out of two women with their reluctant consent, traumatizing them in the process. I feel the way I feel about Good Omens, but if this results in season 3 being scrapped, then so be it. I will be upset (not at the victims, obviously), but life goes on and I will be fine.

I’ve done a lot of thinking in terms of fandom engagement, and the truth is, at this point in my life, this is how I get through the day. The fandom is talented, brilliant, funny, and at this point in time it’s too engrained in my daily routine to completely deprive myself of it so suddenly. I mentioned this in another post, but things in my life are really unsure at the moment and the constant anxiety about not being where I should be is terrible for my mental health.

Good Omens came into my life right around the time I needed it, it’s an escape. A fictional world for me to immerse myself in and 1) see myself in a disabled character whose disability is not only represented well, but celebrated in a way that I’ve never seen before on screen, and 2) imagine a happy ending for a couple of characters I’ve grown to love, during a time where I don’t know what my happy ending looks like. If I’m being completely honest, 90% of my engagement with it anyway is with fanfics, art and metas from fans.

As I’ve been kind of quietly lurking around people’s tumblrs and ao3’s, I started to realize that other fans are probably in the same mindset that I am, and I recognized that this fandom may be their happy place too and they don’t deserve to have that taken away over the actions of one man who isn’t even the sole author of the book, and is only one of many, many individuals involved in the production of the show. I had to sit with that and realize that holding myself to an entirely different standard is unfair, so I won’t. Nobody’s a bad person for drawing their favorite characters, or writing stories, or analyzing a relationship between two fictional characters in-depth in a tumblr post for other fans.

I don’t want to hurt anybody, I just want to be happy. That’s all.

[ayashitetsuko]

An open letter to David Jenkins

Some fans believe that we should not vent our anger and frustration to show creators. I don’t believe that. The thing about being a professional is that receiving criticism is part of your job—especially if you have done a terrible job.

OFMD went from groundbreaking to disappointing overnight.

There was a momentum to create a queer media that is smart, fun, sexy, and most importantly, respectful. In the way they are writing these queer characters. Especially older and disabled queer characters, a reflection of a generation of marginalised communities that have gone through so much. To give audience a glimpse of hope in their escapism.

But sir, you choose to Remus Lupin him instead.

This is not just about killing off a character. Hell, I might be willing to accept it. After all, I have read and even written fics with MCD in it—involving my favourite character.

But I want you to know that this is a special case. It is not just another popular character being killed off to drive plots.

I have issue with how you kill off a queer character that represents many marginalised communities in his arc.

Izzy is an abuse survivor who becomes disabled as a result of it. Izzy is a queer elder. Izzy is suicidal but manages to overcome it with the healing power of love and community.

Having him killed off just like that is a huge slap for fans who have gone through what he has gone through. Turns out, even in fiction, in our escapism, there is no joy. Only despair.

Also. Father figure? Where does that come from? Ed has never been shown to have any level of respect for Izzy. So let me ask you again. Where does “father figure” come from?

You have an opportunity to make a difference with OFMD; to be remembered in history for the right reasons. Yet somehow you choose not too. You choose to turn this into cheap, sensationalist entertainment where death and torture are thrown around for shock value.

It is like you have no idea how much power you have by being a professional storyteller.

Let me break it down to you. For you as a writer, perhaps killing off Izzy is nothing but an artistic choice. A plot point to figure out. But for audiences in marginalised groups, stories are mirrors. They see themselves in stories. That is how stories give them hope. This is why OFMD has never been “just a pirate story”. Perhaps this is hard to understand if you have never been part of an underrepresented community in the mainstream media, but this is how many are feeling about your work now. Your legacy.

OFMD has truly become an overnight failure. I don’t know how this happened. I would like to blame budget cuts, but your Vanity Fair interview makes me realise this is all deliberate choice.

So, what is next for us Canyonites?

If anything, this convinced me that queer and disabled people should write. And continue to write.

We can no longer trust major media to speak for us. We definitely can never trust David Jenkins again. Any form of progressiveness that he showed earlier was just coincidence, apparently. Even worse, it was fake.

As my friend Sam beautifully puts it, Izzy belongs to us now. We reclaim that character and give him all the happy endings he deserves in our fic, our art. We transform the works. We write about queer, disabled, suicidal characters the way the deserve to be written. If being a published writer is the path you choose, make sure you make wiser decisions than David Jenkins.

Thank you, sir. It was good while it lasts.

But this is a terrible job that you’re doing.

[pompadourpink]

It's a new beginning!

Hello children,

September is coming, school too for some of you - often a great moment for a bit of decluttering and a few new good resolutions. Here am I, offering myself as one of them!

As you hopefully know, I started this blog in 2016 and have been a private tutor since the beginning of the pandemic. I have room at the moment for several new students, so here is what I offer:

Classes, obviously - the typical schedule is one hour a week, sometimes one and a half, or one every two weeks, or two every two weeks; typically same day same time (I'm always happy to make adjustments if you work shifts)

Homework, if you can make the time for it. I typically prefer it to be finished by the middle of the week so that I have time to take a look and correct it, giving you the opportunity to give it a second try before class!

Depending on your preferences, either just a few activities so we can take our time, especially if you are a beginner, or something a bit more dynamic consisting in five to ten minute long activities to keep you motivated and alert (which seems to be a crowd's favourite as most of my students are neurodivergent).

Talking activities are typically answering series of questions I share from my Notion, talking about your week, summarising a book or a movie, making me guess a word or a person, or a concept I call "alien talk" where you explain something (like a vaccine or insurance) from scratch to a little red man.

Writing activities are often fictional (I have students create a little character on a website and we write an update about their life regularly), they can also be an overview of your month, a letter to quit your horrible job or convince Snoop Dog to marry you because you are a gold digger.

Transcribing activities, especially at the beginning, are either me reading very easy sentences so you can write them down and memorise the way things sound, then it's episodes from young children's shows, extracts from very famous movies, then we hit harder and turn to gameshows or podcasts.

Translating activities, from one language to another, are a written translation of the first page of a novel (I did the Secret History recently), or a newspapers article (we are working on this one at the moment); or an oral translation of songs lyrics, fairytales, children's books, muted captioned playthroughs of your favourite games on Youtube, etc.

Finally, a few games: silly quizzes, crosswords, Wordle and even Quordle, hangman, and sometimes we even sing if you're comfortable with that.

Here is the link of my website where you will find reviews and a list of what to send me to get the process started. A few things to know:

I try to make the activities fit your preferences: get me a list of what you like and that is what we will work on. If your first language is not English, I am happy to include it, I'm always eager to learn (I've been reviewing my Spanish this way!)

I work without cameras. I don't need to see your face, I just need a voice and a good Internet connection. All students are welcome, no matter if you have an accent, a stutter, or disabilities. Do not be afraid of being judged, there is none of that here.

I ask for your contact information to be able to do my billing, no one else sees it and no one will know if you give me the address of a building in your area if you feel more comfortable this way. If you prefer to have a lesson first and decide that you want to continue before sending me your info, that's also an option.

I have a student and a regular rate, depending on what you can afford, and we can make different arrangements if your country's rate makes it too difficult, I've done it before.

Please comment if you have a question!

Much love,

Rose

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Alan & Jeff Forever!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 10 of 12 - I am a little concerned that this is getting too big for its britches, rather like Phaya’s recently recovered snake… shall we say? Adding in yet another character at this juncture isn’t the best idea. Still, I love how this show makes me cackle laugh with grandmas + Yai and then TENSION.

It’s a wobbly kind of balance but a balancing act is happening nonetheless. It makes the pacing of this show good. It may be all over the place but I'm never bored.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 11 of 14 - No trash talk this week, I was charmed & delighted. Who knew I would actually enjoy this show? Certainly not me. (not much of a...) Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - I am pretty much skipping most of the 3 chef friends, and all of the side dish action (sorry Neo). And with OffGun apart for most of this ep, it didn’t hold together since they are the glue. Sigh.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 12fin - Okay let’s talk about it.

Mhok should have gone off with someone else. Day treated him like shit and never once apologized. To assume an apology isn’t necessary is to pity Day in the exact way he didn’t want. (On a complete aside, one of my favorite Thai restaurants back in my mispent youth was in Hilo, HI… ah memories) meanwhile the "passing escalators trope" activated in the land of malls (it’s been a while my old friend).

Anygay, I hold that Mohk was not a fault and Day was the one who needed to apologize.

Although they did have one of BL's BEST ever face touch moments. 

In conclusion: 

The story of a blind man and his caregiver falling in love. Mark is great. JimmySea are spectacular. The support cast is GMMTV-good. And for the first 3/4 this BL was something rather special. But it was let down by its ending (for which I entirely blame the author). In order to like this show you must buy into the premise that Mhok was in the wrong and caused their breakup. If you don’t believe that, you won’t like this BL. Also "fixing a disability = true happiness" is gross messaging. For me, endings counts for a lot and this one was ultimately “happy” but felt like a failure. 7/10 and I was sorely tempted to go as low as a 6/10, so it should count itself lucky 

I dithered my darling BLabies... I dithered A LOT over this one. But JimmySea alone held this one up.

GMMTV we gotta talk. You're fielding some of the world's best pairs right now. It's time to get them equally good scripts.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - This installment had too much of the side couple in it. Although it was nice to see First/Dream (Twins) again. He's still a cutie, even playing a straight. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 23 of 24 - I have to say I’m very glad we are on the last installment of the series. Narcissistic hairdresser starts seeing a spirit in a mirror. Turns out to be a friend from his youth who he thought was dead. This one is kinda sweet, and I find the premise interesting. Is the kid actually dead and a spirit? Or is there something else going on? I am intrigued. And I like the actor playing the kid in the mirror. I suspect this will be sad tho.

Time the series (Thai Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - I don’t exactly know what is going on. And frankly I don’t particularly care, either. So far nothing seems to be happening, and I really intensely dislike one half of the main couple. DNF welcome 2024 here we go 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love For Love's Sake (Korea Weds iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 - based on the Manhwa Love Supremacy Zone by Hwacha (they should have kept the original title). I adore the premise. IRL person has been sent into fictional universe to save a side character from doom. Fantastic. Every fanfic author's dream. Also, I love that our POV was the bad boy in high school so there’s also a redemption arc going on. I adore this kind of isekai (if you wanna call it that). Puppy/cat pairing too! 

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - Oh my goodness they too cute. Basically dating. Although only one of them realizes it, and he is such a drama queen. It’s GREAT. Also they are both so damn gay. I love the supportive bestie trying to cope with the girl who has a crush on his gay bff. 

Happy Ending (Korea Tues YT) 1 of 3 - Strongberry is back and it’s very them and very atmospheric and cute. I’m enjoying it. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - Japan giveth and Japan taketh away again. Look, I just like the lost love teacher/teacher couple better. I'm assuming they'll have to do a time jump in the final episode to make this one work at all. 

I am SO GLAD we have KBLs back on our screens.

It's done

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam so I assume it's on YouTube. I never even noticed. Anyone?

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - Is TRUST Entertainment bringing us the first ever Burmese BL? I don't know if it's really the first, but @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch through.

Beside You (Thai ????) - a 3 ep short that's supposed to have aired but I can't find it.

It's Airing But...

[NO INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Ends next week. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

In Case You Missed it

All my year-end round ups:

TOP 10 BL Trends of 2023

Top 10 BL Secondary Pairs of 2023

2023 BLs Best Trope Execution Awards! TOP 10

All the BLs Announced for 2023 that didn't happen

BL 2023's Best:

Back Hugs Thailand & Elsewhere

Cute Bits of Domesticity

Boys Feeding Boys

BOOP!

Best Cuddles

Heads in Laps

Touching Head Touches

Thailand Put His Head on Your Shoulder

Put Your Head on My Shoulder (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES FROM THAILAND

Next Week Looks Like This:

2/2 City of Stars AKA Fueangnakorn (Fri YouTube?) 10 eps - An actor falls in love with a programmer and the narrative intends to “explore the ramifications of being public figure in the social network era who must endure critics, bullying, and defamation.” Looks like another Lovely Writer/Call It What You Want sort of thing. But helmed by Star Hunter? Chaos will ensue.

2/2 Anti Reset AKA Anti-Reset (Taiwan Fri Gaga?) 10 eps - from Vidol (who aren't doing us very proud right now) - Human and robot find love.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Say what you like about this show (and I have) they do some very gay cuddling. (Him the series)

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

This show, damnit, so close to being genius. (Last Twilight)

I don't that's a hardshi,p grandma ... although it may be a hard ship... get it.

I'll stop now.

(The Sign)

(Last week)

[decompose1]

im so intrigued abt the name tell me abt jabberwocky please

YAY OKAY!!

Jabberwocky is a character i made for a superhero roleplay run by a friend of mine. Some people in this world have "Marks"- superpowers caused by a solar flare a few generations ago, displayed in the form of a tattoo/birthmark-like marking on the skin.

Jabberwocky's mark, "Alice in Wonderland", allows her to manipulate the size of her body and any object she touches. There is no known limit, and she CAN do it at will, but she also shifts unintentionally depending on her emotions. This can cause her to become GIANT or SUPER TINY if she were to get, say, really angry/excited, or really scared, respectively.

There's an extra layer of complexity to this because Jabberwocky has level 3/"high support needs" autism. She's cognitively/intellectually disabled and has very little understanding or control of her emotions! She's also fully nonverbal and only uses AAC to communicate (she cannot reliably write/type, either. Struggles with language)

The location they're in is a fictional continent with its own autonomous city-states (that'd take me a bajillion years to get into). The city-state Jabber was born into, however, sees Marks as extremely scary and dangerous, so they're kinda heavily criminalized and it's illegal to even USE your mark in public. But the thing is Jabber can't help it, her mark activates without her say any time she feels like. Emotions. So she's labeled a Villain and constantly got arrested for public mark usage until she ran away and joined a cult in the mountains that worships the sun and moon. But uh. The moon exploded. So the whole cult is super freaked out and increasing recruitment efforts, leading Jabber to become a missionary for them.

I'm playing her as a duo with her little sister, Tyche, played by a friend of mine :o). Jabber is 23 and Tyche is 19. They're best friends, very very close!! They love each other so dearly and they make me so happy to write. My girls...

uhhhh the premise of this RP though is that all the characters were recruited to this top secret paramilitary project to try to make the Land better in the middle of all this extreme political unrest and bad shit. Jabber is not there by choice, she was arrested and handed over as a deal. But if she completes the project they'll free her, so. Yay(??). Her sister did join by choice because she's a hero, and that coincidence is what reunited them!!

... THAT'S SO MUCH! thank y ou for your interest in my strange little lady. She's very sweet and also doing terrible awful cult recruitment because she thinks this is a good thing. I love her

[stargazer-sims]

Victor & Yuri appreciation post ♥

My beautiful boys have aged well, and in my opinion this is the best they've ever looked. I will never not appreciate these two. Writing their "journey of discovery" story took me over two years, and I'm glad I saw it through, because these characters deserve it.

They were characters of mine long before I ever made sim avatars for them, but I've had fun with them as their sim avatars as well. A lot of the CC i've made over the years and a handful of builds have all been for them. Whenever I want to quit The Sims, I always come back to playing with these two, and whenever I'm discouraged with the writing process, I look at what I've done with these characters.

A lot of people ask if Yuri and Victor are that Yuri and Victor (from YOI). The answer is no; they are not fan fiction characters. If you're curious, Victor and Yuri's origin story is here.

__________

A little about Victor & Yuri...

Victor Thomas Edward Okamoto-Nelson birthday: 2 December gender: male pronouns: he/him occupation: paediatric nurse spouse: Yuri Okamoto-Nelson child: Caroline Lily May Okamoto-Nelson (adopted)

random facts about Victor

Victor is a former competitive snowboarder. He retired from competition to attend nursing school. He's still obsessed with snowboarding though.

When he was six, his father Thomas and baby sister Caroline were killed by an impaired driver driving through a crosswalk

He is terrified of thunderstorms and has been ever since he was a child

He has a hereditary genetic abnormality which caused his hair to turn prematurely silver. His hair was completely silver by the time he was thirteen, and by eighteen, his eyebrows, eyelashes, body hair and facial hair were also completely silver.

He always thought he had a mild learning disability, but it turned out that he actually had a correctable eye condition that made reading difficult for him

He and Yuri met online, on a forum for snowboarding enthusiasts. They had a long distance relationship for three years, during which time Victor threw himself into learning to speak Japanese in preparation for going to join Yuri in Japan.

He loves dogs and has a gift for dog training

His pain tolerance is very low and he doesn't do well with being sick. Yuri teases him about it, but would move the earth to take care of him and make sure he's as comfortable as possible whenever he's sick or hurt.

He cries easily, which is one of the things he likes least about himself

His favourite colour is red

Yuri Okamoto-Nelson birthday: 20 September gender: male pronouns: he/him occupation: communications professional spouse: Victor Okamoto-Nelson child: Caroline Lily May Okamoto-Nelson (adopted)

random facts

Yuri was born prematurely, at thirty weeks. Initially, he wasn't expected to survive the first forty-eight hours of his life, but he defied all the odds and survived. He loves his birthdays and always wants to make a big deal of them because he sees them as a celebration of another year of being alive rather than just being another year older.

He has a lot of health issues, but despite being chronically ill, he's determined to live the best life possible. He's physically active when he feels well, and loves snowboarding, yoga, swimming and dancing.

He's the oldest of three children. He's closest with his youngest sister Shirayuki and is estranged from his other younger sister Hana

He owns his own business, BRAVE Communications, which is a PR and communications firm. He runs it alongside his friend and business partner, James Fairchild, who is also disabled

Yuri is a survivor of intimate partner violence, from his one and only relationship before meeting Victor

He once made 1,000 paper cranes, and wished for happiness. Shortly thereafter, he and Victor met online.

He loves animals, but was never allowed to have a pet growing up. He was overjoyed when Victor agreed that he could adopt a dog, and he adopted a rescued Pomeranian whom he named Sango. Over the years since then, he's had a lot of pets

He likes to write, and has published three children's books so far, along with his friend Fox Abbottsford, who did the illustrations.

His favourite food is strawberries. He will eat just about anything that's strawberry-flavoured, but for him, nothing is better than fresh strawberries.

His favouite colous are yellow and pink

__________

*** Their married surname is Okamoto-Nelson. Victor's original surname was Nelson and Yuri's was Okamoto, but they couldn't decide who should take who's name when they got married, so they decided to combine them.

[gobbluthofficial]

I genuinely think the most upsetting thing about Umbrella Academy season 4 is how it treats Klaus' addiction and sobriety.

Klaus FINALLY gets sober and has a support system that actually cares about him. But this support system treats him like a burden. The only things Claire and Allison say about Klaus after he's sober and living with them is to talk about how much of a burden he is. I understand that supporting someone who's been an addict their entire life is hard. And I understand that it can be frustrating when they consistently deny help or relapse and always hurt you in the process. But they don't seem to be happy that he's gotten better! At all! Every time we see Allison or Claire interacting with or talking about Klaus, they're talking about how much they resent having him in their life. Allison is annoyed that he's living with them and bubble wrapping their whole house. Claire tells Allison that she needs to stop helping Klaus because every time she tries to help him, he just drags him down with her. When Klaus relapses, he snaps at Claire and it really upsets her.

And I understand these are real feelings and conversations people around addicts have! I have had these exact conversations in my real life! But this is fiction! And it is a story that has been building up season upon season of "The bad things that happen to you aren't your fault" and "Your family will always be there to support you"!

The only thing people are going to take away from this is "I shouldn't help the people I love when they're at their lowest because it will inconvenience me" or "I shouldn't ask for help when I'm at my lowest because it will inconvenience everyone around me."

And on top of that, the show equates his powers with his addiction. Believe me, I understand that having to hear dead people and have them follow you around all the time would make anyone want to start taking substances to get their mind off of it. I think it makes for an interesting and complex character! But it's an entirely different thing for Klaus to get his powers back and immediately fall back into addiction and drugs without seeing any sort of build up to it!

It just comes off as equating the way you were born with being destined to be an addict forever and there's no hope for you to ever get better. One could argue the Hargeeves' abilities work as stand ins for things like disability, mental illnesses, etc. but whether you look at it that way or not, the text is saying "Because of the way Klaus was born, he will forever be an addict and there is nothing anyone can do to help him because he is just destined to be this way." And then he dies! He dies because everything bad that has ever happened to him was his fault!

I've been around addicts all my life. They've hurt me and they've refused help and they've been hard to deal with, but I have also seen them get better! I've seen the most desperate and upsetting of situations get turned around and these people get back on their feet with the right support networks. And it really pisses me off that a huge show by one of the biggest names in entertainment can just show that these people are beyond saving and don't deserve help.

[famouscyclenerd]

ANTI THIS, ANTI THAT

I think it's funny how antis love to talk about how much eluciens dislike Elain and gwynriels dislike Azriel. And then go on about how they are so pro both of them. Even though ya'll want Elain to suffer an unaccepted mating bond she'll feel for the rest of her life and rot in the Night Court when it's been mentioned several times (by both her sisters) that she would love the Spring Court. You don't want Elain and Azriel to be with their mates even though that's the ultimate happily-ever after in Sarah's books.

Let me break it down for ya'll:🕺

Some elucien's doesn't like Azriel (not Elain)

They don't like the way he thinks of her and overall believes them to be a very bad match. Some have described his actions towards Mor and Elain as "incel behaviour" for the way he thinks and speaks for them, but none of them have said the same thing applies to the way he thinks and speaks to Gwyn and others. People saying: "I just want bby Lulu to be happy" can apply to him being happy single, with his mate, with Vassa, with anyone. That's a Lucien stan, not necessary an elucien. Ya'll don't want your faves to be happy?

Some gwynriel's doesn't like Elain (not Azriel)

Mostly because she has been very passive through-out the series and don't think she's a good match for Azriel. I've seen some calling her boring, but many are open to having their minds changed. Some doesn't care about Elain, which is fine, you don't have to. We have yet to see her fully shine and she's one of the few characters that we haven't gotten a pov from.

A LOT of e/riel's doesn't like Lucien nor Gwyn

Just because they don't like him and they think Azriel is hotter. I have yet to see a (good) reason why Elain and Lucien aren't a good match. People have called Lucien and Gwyn ugly (the gollum pic for instance - even though Lucien's described as handsome and Gwyn as beautiful - another day of antis ignoring canon), making fun of them for being gingers, making fun of Gwyn for working in the library and her, as well as Luciens, SA. Mocking Lucien for having to be carried because he can't fly. Calling Gwyn forgettable even though you talk about her every single day. Speaking for Gwyn (something antis preach about how we speak for Elain and how wrong it is. Even though they speak for her when they say she still wants Azriel yet she returned the necklace - a downright rejection) about how she should not want to have sex and especially not with the freak in the sheets Azriel. How convenient.. yet, canon begs to differ.

The great thing about shipping gwynriel and elucien is that you aren't anti anyone. You can call characters out for their behaviour, but you still want them to be happy and you still like them!

P.s! If it's racist to call out Azriel's entitlement over Elain then it's racist and ableist to speak badly of Lucien too. Also, I see you! You make fun of his disability all the time and it's not cute. Hope ya'll don't do that in real life. :D

P.s.s: You can't preach about feminism while making fun of other (fictional) women simply because they threaten your ship. This also applies to indirectly calling Nesta ugly by talking about how they had to dull Elain's beauty (by putting her in a black dress lol) when that's something you came up with. Nothing in the book supports your claim. Do you even listen to Elain? When she spoke about how Nesta, at the age of fourteen, was able to seduce a duke. And that was without Elain wearing black.

[lockifics]

Rock, Paper, Bucky (18+ Fan Fiction, Reader x Bucky Barnes) Part 7

Disclaimer: This work is 18+ and contains mature topics, not suitable for minors. This work touches upon triggering subject matters such as. Sexual Assault, Violence, Murder, Abuse, Mind Control, Flashbacks, Severe PTSD, Criminal Activity, Trauma and severe panic attacks. Please be aware of this going in.

This fic is written from a first person perspective and is designed to allow yourself to self insert into. I don't consider this a Y/N fic as I don't use this template, seeing Y/N takes me out of it personally. Before diving in, please be aware that the POV character is AFAB. They do not have set pronouns, or a name / gender assigned in the text, however, during sexual intercourse they are referred to as a girl. This POV character is described having sexual relationships with both men and women. The POV character is described as having long hair, as well as having a knowledge of both Star Wars and TRON: Legacy. The POV character is a survivor of sexual assault and abuse.

This fic has multiple sex scenes, as well as multiple scenes where the characters discuss there trauma, experience flashbacks, disassociation and other PTSD symptoms. It can be heavy.

This fic is set some time after the events of TFATWS. Bucky Barnes is over 100 years old and the POV character does not have a specific age set, however they are a adult, they own there own apartment.

I've not published a fan fiction online for over a decade and this is my first time writing Bucky as a character. As someone who's disabled and has experienced a lot of trauma, characterisation was very important for me. I drew upon a lot of my own experiences to try to portray a more realistic relationship, adapting to a sexual dynamic after experiencing trauma and abuse, as well as the challenges of that. I hope that as I continue to write I can improve upon making my characterisations more accurate and respectful. Bucky is a character with trauma, and is often heavily sexualised by the fandom. I wanted to make sure I avoided sexualising 'The Winter Soldier' specifically, while also not treating abuse victims as babies who can't experience sexuality. I hope that you enjoy reading, I'd like to hear feedback, although please be kind, I haven't done this in a long time! I write to hopefully make one person happy, even if that persons me!

"That's not fair, I asked about what you were thinking first, the game has rules!" You state incredulously, standing in the shower with Bucky, water still thankfully warm. "You are such a pain sometimes you know" Bucky joked "Okay fine, but, you have to promise me, to tell me what you would like, or feel able to do, okay? with no pressure" You draw a little heart on the centre of his chest with your finger, making extra sure not to touch the meeting point of his metal arm "Promises!" you say delightedly. "Well," he puts his hand underneath your chin and pulls you to look up at him "I'm thinking about kissing you again". "I'm very much okay with that" you grin and give him a quick peck on the lips "Go on" you encourage. "I'm maybe thinking about how much I'd love to slip inside you, while I'm kissing you" he continues, pressing a firm kiss to your lips, his voice was husky and his body kept pressing closer and closer into yours as you spoke. "About, how much I enjoyed earlier" he starts to lean down so that his head is next to yours, so that he's able to whisper in your ear "I'm thinking about how much I want to leave you breathless and panting" he reaches over and grabs the lobe of your ear between his teeth and he tugs playfully. "About how much I want to hear you beg for me, by name, and fill you full of cum" he's pulled you in so tight to his body, his grip is vice like and every nerve ending feels like it's just been electrified by his words.

"I'm thinking about how much I want you to bite and scratch me when you get overwhelmed and your eyes roll back into your head" You could feel his breath against your ear, his hands gripping into your flesh, you were so close and so tight it was almost hard to breathe in his embrace. He pulls away from you in a flash, returning to a completely relaxed position and smiles at you "If that's okay of course," his knowing grin, a smirk, because he already knew you were down so bad. Your eyes were wide and mouth hanging open, It's like your body had shut down, "You are such a suave bitch you know that?" you manage. He roars with laughter in response "Suave Bitch, that's going to be my new name now haha!"

"I-in all seriousness though" you manage out and he relaxes his death grip on you, so that you can catch your breath more easily. "I fully consent, to being manhandled by you, to having your way with me, and I'd very much like all of that. But we should probably do that before we run out of hot water" you say, motioning with your head up to the shower. "Good point" he relents, before smiling at you, eyes locked, tongue caught between his teeth. Like he's studying you, deciding what to do next and where to start. "Don't be gentle with me" he commands, before pushing a kiss onto your lips. Hands snaking around the back of your head to hold your lips to his. He's pushing your mouth open and forcing his way inside. You can hear him softly moaning when he does, You make a mental note to teach him about what 'oral fixation' means later on, as he is down bad with it.

You grip onto his original arm, digging your nails into his biceps, you feel a shiver run down his body in response, but he does not pull away or stop. It feels good to channel some of your tension out. and he is encouraging you after all. With force and urgency he walks you back, so that your torso is outside of the water. He hitches up your leg with his metal arm and he takes all of your weight with it, allowing your other leg to basically dangle in the air. You can feel him starting to gently grind against you while he's kissing you, you weren't even sure if it was intentional or if it was just being so overcome and needing to rub his cock against you already. You we're taking shorter and shorter breaths, he seemed fully intent to not release you from this kiss at all, he wanted to be locked in. He leans you back, just enough, to push his dick into you, while having the showers water stream directly on top, Making him sliding in so deliciously easy that, you kept his wish, feeling your eyes rolling into the back of your head, you grip his shoulder, running your nails across his back. Pulling at his skin, leaving red claw marks and you feel his dick throbbing with anticipation as he pushes deeper and deeper inside. If his tongue wasn't stuck all the way down your throat you are sure you would of screamed, perhaps stifling you like this was his plan and he was more concerned about the neighbours, you just struggled to have any cohesive thoughts in your current state.

He shocks you this time, before he had been slow and gentle and ramped up. This time? He was unleashed, there was no build up, he was already pounding into you immediately. He was locked all the way around you, holding your body next to his like you were magnetised. His lips we're no longer leaving yours, he had a hold of the back of your head and he was refusing to give you an inch. You lose count of how many times he's thrust into you, it was so powerful and so fast that you felt your own mind turning into jelly as he bombarded you. Somehow stretching you out, even after fucking so recently. He was everything you had hoped for and more. You can feel your body start to shake as he pounds more and more into you, there's no way you will be able to walk out of here once he's had his way with you. He was moaning louder and louder as he pushed his tongue into you, with every single thrust you could hear him reacting to his cock being hilt deep inside you. You fully go limp in his arms at this point, but this does not change his rhythm and verocity. You move your arms to be linked around the back of his neck and he uses this to lower you down further, to increase the the angle between you. He pushes so much might into that first thrust after setting you down further that you swear, You could have crushed him, you clamp onto him inside you, willing him to cum, wanting and needing him to never pull out. He finally pulls his lips away from you, and he gasps, you are practically hyperventilating and seeing stars. "D-don't you d-dare pull out" you half beg, half growl at him, looking into his eyes as your chests heave. "I wont" he promises breathlessly. "I c-can't. You feel t-too good".

"Holy fuck, how am I-I ever meant t-to stop" he manages through full body convulsions and shakes, he was so vocal and needy and desperate for you, you couldn't keep it together. You lock your legs around his waist, with all the strength you can manage. "B-Bucky, I want to try something, b-but it might be t-too much" you manage to force out between trembling lips and moans. He looks up at you "what do you want?" he asks seriously, slowing his pace just for a moment. You take his intact hand and place it on the other side of your hips "L-let the rest of me hang towards the floor, just h-hold me by here" you instruct, watching your hands shake while you explain. He nods and stops so that you can let yourself hang down slowly. He soon picks up the pace again, now more free than ever to just move you wherever he wants. you unlock your legs from behind him, trusting that he can support you completely by just holding your hips. Which allows him to pull you onto his dick over and over and over unheeded. He can really show his full length doing this while you feel the blood rushing to your head, it was like you were in a dream, everything felt kind of hazy, like you were so high on sexual ecstasy that you lost all sense of reality.

He seemed to realise that you were starting to get light headed, so he pulls you off his cock. You protest and see it utterly dripping and throbbing above you, looking delicious and sending you even more into a horned craze. He then flips you around, and you are completely taken aback as you feel your last remaining brain cells rattle around. Now with your back facing towards his torso, and your face looking down at the bathroom floor, he pushes himself back inside you, in one, full motion, utterly smashing himself against you, skin smacking from the impact and you can't help yourself any more. "Bucky please, god please, Bucky please" you half-scream for him, the words no longer trembling out of your mouth. Not a command, no part of you feels commanding right now, you are at his mercy and so desperate, you would do just about anything. You can't see it, but you know he's grinning. He reaches down with one arm and grabs you by your hair, twisting his hand to get a better grip on you, you moan uncontrollably as he does. His other arm pulls itself along your stomach, finger by finger, so he's got a good grip on all of you before starting to pummel you again. "Please, please, please" you repeat as his balls slap against your clit over and over and over again. You can still feel the water rushing down on you, pattering onto your back, amplifying the sound of him plapping against you, over and over. You reach your hands up, so that you can place your palms against the tiled wall of the shower and use it to push yourself back onto him, forcing him in deeper "Now, now, more, more, more" you demand of him, feeling yourself slip into a trance like state. "What's that? I can't hear you?"

He taunts and you growl back, teeth bared as you give into pure urges, you cannot comprehend how good this feels, It's like your body was destined for this. "I'm not sure if you really want this" he toys with you, slowing down his pace, pulling you out further from him and rubbing himself against your ceiling. "B-Bucky, please, I need it" you mumble and beg from him. "Speak up sweetheart" he beckons and pulls on your hair, making you arch your back further "Be a good slut and scream my name". Which sends you right over the edge. You we're scratching at the tiling and screaming for him over, and over, and over again. Each time you did he got faster and hilted you deeper and harder. Everybody in the entire city could of heard how much of a desperate whore you were, let alone the building. You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks as he starts to throb mercilessly inside of you. "Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!" You shout louder and louder and you can hear him start to get louder and louder to match. "Fuck, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, Do NOT STOP!" you scream as you can feel him getting harder and harder inside of you, he was panting and pulling your hair tighter and tighter with every thrust. "B-beg for me" he demands, barely holding it together to be the one teasing you. "Prove to me how much o-of a cock whore you are and b-beg for me to breed you" he shouts through gritted teeth, followed by quieter "f-fuck, f-fuck, o-oh gods" said under his breath. "P-Please, B-bucky, d-don't stop until you've knocked me up, don't stop, d-don't stop, I n-need it, I n-need you n-n-now" You manage through fluttering eyelashes and your clit twitching over, and over, and over again.

"O-Oh holy f-fuck" he shouts out as he finally, releases inside you. He pulls down on your hair so that you are fully arched now, your legs twitching uselessly in the air as he pumps you full of load after load. "b-breed b-b-breed, f-f-f-uck" you can hear him whimpering under his breath as the waves roll over him, he's shaking and struggling to keep his footing. He lets go of your hair and you slump forwards, but you catch yourself with your hands against the wall. He pushes you forwards so you have a strong grip against the tiling. "Y-you are so f-fucking good" he manages between pants, totally out of breath. "K-keep being a good girl for me, and d-dont move okay?" he asks and you nod in response. He grips you by the shoulder, moving his other hand from holding you up by your stomach, to sliding across your throbbing clit, cock still hilted inside you, cum leaking out from just how much he had pushed into you. He's holding you tightly by the shoulder while he start's rubbing his fingers against your clit, over and over and over. You start to scream even louder and he changes his hand from being on your shoulder, to covering your mouth, stifling the unholy noises you were making. "shhhhh" he soothes as he speeds up, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. "Now be a g-good girl and cum with my cock still inside you" he said while pushing himself against you, making you feel his cock hilted inside, spreading you open. He could feel how much you insides were convulsing and trembling and just how close you were. Just when he feels you start to ramp up the volume of screaming, he starts thrusting in and out of you again, fucking you into a orgasm. "That's it baby, you've earned this, Good girl" he has to shout at you, over the intense amount of noise you were making as you cum all over his fingers and cock. Barely able to see over your eyelids fluttering closed. hands balled into fists, keeping you from slipping down the wall.

You cross over your knees, legs still dangling in the air, and rub the top of your foot, over the back of your calf, pulling yourself tighter around him inside of you, savouring every last moment. Bucky reaches over you, and finally turns down the shower, not fully off, but decreases the pressure significantly. You dread to think what the bill is going to be, but you don't at all care, you would wait lifetimes to experience that again. He finally releases his hand from around your mouth when he hears your moans turn to quiet whimpers and panting, "You ready for me to pull out?" he asks, placing both hands on your hips "n-no" you manage pathetically "To be fair, I wouldn't have expected any other answer" he chastises jokingly. He slowly pulls you forwards and allows your feet to settle back down onto the damp ground. You stagger for a second, and he takes you by the arm to stop you from falling, It feels like your brain is full of static. You both start to breathe in tandem, slowing down your gasping. Both still reeling from an intense high. "Now I have to get clean all over again" you pout up at him "You act like it wasn't worth it" he says with a sly grin "I never said that" and he hands you the body lotion. "We're you always like this?" You find yourself asking while you clean your body again, and he throws you a confused expression "What do you mean? I also thought it was my turn" he starts to lather up your back with soap suds, seeming to always want to be close with you. "I feel embarrassed to ask" you admit, face flushed and turned into the shower so you can avoid his gaze. "Help an old man out here" he pushes, you can hear the grin in his voice, he loves seeing you flustered. "Okay, did you always have this much uh…." you trail off, moving your open hands around in circular motions, miming finding the right words "…stamina?" you eventually come up with. "Yes and no" he answers truthfully "And that's not just me defending my ego here". You laugh at that answer, it's amazing how much more relaxed you both are since this morning. "The serum makes me stronger, so that is reflected. I couldn't have held you with one hand back then. Probably with two though. I don't know if I would have been as uh…forceful?" he tries "But in terms of lasting? I don't know, I don't feel like that's a particular strength I posses at the moment anyway, But maybe that's down to you being so perfect" and he leans down to kiss you on the cheek. "Oh okay" you answer, truthfully you were too awkward to ask your most burning question but this one still intrigued you. Finally clean however, you finally turn off the shower. Bucky slides open the shower door and reaches out to grab you two towels. "I guess I have to ask you two questions now" he says while helping you get dry first. "They can wait if you prefer" you offer him and he interjects "No no, I play fair".

"What did you really want to ask me?"

"u-uh" you manage to stammer out, wrapping the towel around you. He slides open the shower door and steps out into the bathroom, his towel is just wrapped around his waist and you can see the flickers of steam rising from his chest as his body hits the cool air. You swallow nervously and follow him out of the shower cubicle. "What do you mean?" You ask, knowing fully and totally, exactly what that man meant. "You asked about, my, stamina? I get the feeling that wasn't what you were embarrassed to ask about, or perhaps, what was less embarrassing to ask about" he grins at you being all flustered and you instead push past him to open the bathroom door and step into the hallway. The far colder air of the hallway hits you and you retreat back inside "n-nope it's freezing out there" you say through chattering teeth.

"That means your locked in here with me and can answer my question" he crosses his arms and stands in front of the closed door now. "I didn't lie, I was embarrassed to ask you that" You were just not telling the whole truth you complete inside your own mind. "I can do this all day" Bucky remarked and you croak out a unexpected laugh "That's not your line!"

"Why are you being so coy with me, I'm not going to give up" he's fully staring at you, trapped and caged, you can feel the blushing rising in your cheeks. You cross your arms "You really want to know?" "I do, in fact, that's why I'm asking". Rolling your eyes, you sigh deeply. "Fine, if you are determined to be so nosey, I know the serum has, well other effects. I know it made Steve the size of a house, taller and more muscular" Bucky grinned at you, You think he has some inkling of what's coming next "Go on" he presses. "I hate you" you hiss at him, feeling more and more embarrassed the longer this goes on, but still dancing around the question. "No you don't" he chimes back at you, he's right of course but, he's still acting like a prick. "Fine, Did the serum make your cock bigger?" you angrily push out, looking away from him as your cheeks burn so so brightly, your arms crossed, foot tapping and looking anywhere but at him. He laughs lightly at first and then into a full belly laugh, he has to use the doorway for support "Really?" he asks you between wheezing. "If your going to be like that about it I don't want to know" you pout looking down at the floor, refusing to acknowledge just how much he was enjoying this. He collects himself before continueing "No, I didn't have the same serum as Steve and it's not exactly a question I ever asked him either. But my serum didn't affect my size or stature, I was always like this." He takes a step towards you and you make even more efforts to look away from him as he did "Well fine then, I didn't care anyway" you mutter grumpily. "Oh I think you did" he starts and places both hands on the side of your arms "I mean I am still flattered that you think all of this was a magical super penis" he can barely get the ending out between uncontrolled guffaws. "Alright you've had your fun, You don't need to rub it in, I was just curios" you are looking down at his feet on the floor, refusing to encourage him. "No really, I am flattered" he continues and kisses you on the top of the head. "Thank You for asking me, can you forgive me for pressing now? But that was a bit funny" he's trying to meet your gaze by ducking down to your height "Well It's your turn again," you meet his gaze, still pouting grumpily. "I guess I owe you one" he says and gives you a quick peck on the lips.

"Fine then, I've had my fun now. I know you said to order take out in, but, would you be okay with us collecting? I'd like to take you on a drive" he says with a grin "On your bike?" you ask, expression softening as he relents "Yes, A night drive I mean, it's more peaceful" he pulls your arms down from being crossed and pulls you in for a hug, head resting on top of yours. "We can do that, but the deal is we have to order Chinese food" you bargain "Your wish is my command". "Then I also wish to be carried to bed" you order with a grin. He pulls away from you and matches your grin, too much grinning, you panic. He leans down and picks you up by the back of your legs, fireman lifting you over one shoulder "HEY!" you shout and he ignores you, carrying you out of the bathroom "This isn't what I meant!" you try to look behind you to direct your anger towards him, but he's simply laughing at you the whole time.

He gently kicks open the door to the bedroom and throws you down on the bed, You take a moment to collect yourself before continuing to lecture "That's not what I meant and you know it James!" He throws you a look when calling him by his actual name. "So much for being a good girl, and asking to be manhandled. You get grumpy when I do" he laughs at you, leaning against the door frame. "Don't be a bitch" you shoot him an angry glance as you get up and start rifling through drawers to find clothes to change into. "I will stop when you do" and he, smartly, ducks out of the way as you throw a pillow in his general direction.

"You have the bike leathers I gave you right?" he asks and you nod "Yeah, there in the wardrobe, but I need something underneath" you respond and he walks towards you, takes you by both of your hands, pulls you around to him before he replies "No you don't." "Um, Bucky, I very much do, road safety, hygiene, a million other reasons I can't think of right now" you bargain and he shakes his head. "No, I'm like, the worlds safest rider, and I think it's fun to know you are walking around naked under there, but I'm the only one who knows". "Are you asking me, or telling me?" you begin and this seems to snap him out of it "I will never tell you what to do, and you can always say no, I'm merely suggesting and letting you make your own choices. I will never take away the control you have over your own body, You know that" he's being incredibly serious right now and not breaking away from looking at you. "Can we compromise?" you offer and he nods "Whatever you want, I mean it" "Underwear only?" "That's still scandalous, I like it" and he smiles before clarifying "I really do mean it though, It's very important to me that you maintain your own agency" You nod back "I know, You too okay?" "I have no doubt, I've felt the most like myself in, quite a while today. Everything I'm doing is because I want too, and for the first time in a while? I have things I want to do".

"Well, how about you decide on what Chinese food we're getting, while I get ready?" you offer and he shakes his head "Are you genuinely trusting me with a food delivery app?" "Good point, You are useless on a mobile. Fine, you get ready and II'll find us somewhere, deal?" and he nods "deal" and lets you go, before pulling off his towel. You linger in the door way to watch him "Staring is rude" he says without turning to look at you "Guess I'm rude then". I cooked brunch, you find us dinner" he says and walks over to shut the door. You relent and walk over to the couch, phone already open to a delivery app and swiping at the deals.

<3 Thanks so much for reading part 7! <3

We're ever so close to the end now! This is my official apology for the last part being so heavy and sad. Thank-You so much for reading, You have no idea how much it means to me! Let me know if you want me to continue this and take these cuties to the Bahamas! <3

[kittencomicslol]

Gyutaro rant because IM LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH GYUTARO SHABANA OH MY GOD

LOOK AT HIM

LOOK HOW FUCKING PERFECT HE IS OH MY GOD IM GOING INSANE JES SO PERFECT WTF

HES SO FUCKING UGHHHH I WANNA HPLD HIM CLOSE AND KISS EVERY ONE O HIS PRETTY BORTH MARKS AND TELL HIM HOW PRETTY AND PERFECT HE IS AND I JUST WANNA UGHHH

I HAVE SO MANY DETAILED LITTLE HEADCANNONS ABOIT HOW HE WOULD PREFER/LIKE TO SNUGGLE AND OR SHPW AFFECTION IM ALWAYYYS THINKING OF HIM ❤️❤️❤️ LIKE WOULD U GUYS WANT TO SEE THEM??? ID LIKE TO SHARE THEM

I WANNA RUN MY HAND ALONG HIS WEIRD SPINE BIT NOT IN A WEIRD WAY ITS JUST COOL AND IT MAKES ME GO

AND THE WAY HIS RIBS

UGH

ME WHEN THE CHARACTERS RIBS ARE VISIBLE UGHHH ITS JUUUUHGHHGGG

I HAVE HIS LITTLE SPOTS MEMORIZED(at least from the front angle, thr back isn’t rlly memorized)

BIT I SWEAR LIKE I GET STREASWD OR UPSET AND I THINK ABOUT HIM LOKE

OH MY GOD CAN WE APPRECIATE THE KNY ACADEMY VER OF HIM??? LIKE I KNOW I CONSTANTLY TALK ABOIT HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE MOTERCYCLE RIDERS BIT HE IS AN ACCEPTION AND NOW SEEING THEM MAKES ME THINK OF HIM WAAA ❤️❤️❤️

AS SOMEONE WHO DOESNT REALLY GET TO LIKE. EXPERIENCE REGULAR SCHOOL BC OF MY DISABILITY AND BC I DONT RLLY GET ALOT OF PJSYICAL ATTENTIPN IRL THE FICKING ENDLESS SEA OF IDEAS I CAN MAKE IP W MODERN GYU SWOOPS ME OFF MY FEET!!

I SO APPRECIATE THE RARITY(or honestly it’s getting more common >_<) OF WHEN HE SHOWS UP IN OR IS PRESENT IN MY DREAMS BC GAHHHH!!!! MY WIFE!!

HES MT FAV I LOVE HIM MY FAV FAV FAV MY LOVEE

Haters will say it’s not true but I just know if he was real he would love me(this is a joke if he was real I know this man would not like me) BUT I CAN DREAM I CAN DREAM I CAN DREAM

This is so me and him coded tbh

I love him I love him I LOVE HIM 🗣️🗣️🗣️ RAHHH NORMALIZE BEING IN LOVE WITH AND BEING HAPPY ABOIT AND BEING HYPERFIXATIED FICTIONAL CHARACTERS BC GUHHH IS SO NICE GOOD FEELING YES THUMBS UP HOORAY!!!

[rainbowchaox]

I’m a trans man that uses a cane sometimes so seeing jayvik and victor in general makes me so happy. I love projecting onto fictional characters❤️

Yeah I can’t imagine like the Joy people recieve from like Viktor and the whole romance arc he had with Jayce? Like I have been reading some people being touched by the whole storyline and I think we need more romances with disabled folks :DD