#I’m not a native speaker so it’s hard for me to express my thoughts right. Pls let me know ur opinions I rlly wanna talk about this

[honey-with-pancake]

I’ve seen some people complaining that TianShan’s love line is illogical and doesn’t add up for the rush and irrational character development that they are being OOC and their love process is confussing. But guys they were in their youth period, were at the very end of middle school, meaning that they would go crazy and do silly things with their immature and impulsive mind. With their teenage psychophysiological characteristics, they would have mix of feelings for peers, would explore more about their personality. Yes they would fight and reconcile right after that. Mo would hate He Tian to the core because he is hot headed. He Tian would toy Mo to kill his time and ease his boredom because he was so bold to himself and was a bastard, yet ultimately in the ‘who knows’ moments, they fall in love hard.

The author didn’t explicitly show from when they have feelings for each other, but we can certainly interpret that by their actions. Love doesn’t have to be always displayed to be viewed. The feelings they have all make sense. They changed for each other. That’s all.

He Tian changed to be softer and more gentle to Mo. He didn’t hit or hurt Mo anymore, because after events with She Li, he witnesses so much pain Mo has been through, and for sure he couldn’t stand watching Mo suffer more. Lil Mo changed for He Tian. He became softer too, because he wanted to become better, to deserve to stand side by side with He Tian. Those changes in their characteristics cause people to complain, but why can’t they understand that TianShan changed to fit each other, because they are madly in love?

I don’t see any irrational character development here. Just because they are not the same as their initial selves doesn’t mean they are OOC and have a bad character development. People change, and that’s normal.

[cherry-holmes]

Happy birthday, Javi | Javier Peña x F!reader❤️‍🔥

‘Glimpse of a life with Javier Peña'

Chapter 8

MASTERLIST

Summary: It’s Javi’s birthday and you want to gift him something he has been wishing for a while: you.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Previous chapter

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female reader

Word count: +4k

Warnings: Established relationship. SMUT. Soft porn with a lot of plot😅 – Loss of virginity. P in V sex. Protected sex. Soft sex. Nipple play, oral sex (fem received), fingering. A brief mention of breeding kink. Praise kink.

A/N: It’s me, hi! I’m gonna be honest, I am so nervous for this! This is my first English work ever! And I’m not an English native speaker, but I am a student translator so I hope there’s no so much problem🥲 I’m sorry if you find some errors, please let me know if there’s any and I’ll fix it asap!

A/N 2: IMPORTANT BEFORE READE! As you know, this was the first work I published and, to be honest, at the time I didn't plan to turn it into a whole series. However, upon seeing the good response to this first writing, I was inspired to create an entire universe between our Reader and Javi. Therefore, this part now contains INCONSISTENCIES and INACCURACIES regarding the current timeline of the story. I decided not to modify it so as not to affect those who have already read it, but I hope that if you are readers of the original series, you can adapt it and understand the space-time in which our couple finds themselves.

I hope you like it!❤️✨

•

Javier Peña wasn't a selfish man, especially when it came to matters of sex. He believed that women had the same rights as men to explore themselves and have numerous experiences with their sexuality. There's nothing quite like a woman who knows exactly what she wants and how she wants it.

But there was something about the fact that the only woman he had truly fallen in love with, his girlfriend, was still a virgin. It turned him on immensely. The mere thought of your innocence and the opportunity he had to make you feel truly good for the first time made him feel incredibly lucky. And also it made his cock throb.

The thought of you every night, and the things he could teach you in his bed, consumed him. His only desired was to lead you astray, turning you into a temptress. However, he never rushed you into anything you didn't want.

Of course, he felt disappointed the first time you both came so close to consummating your love on his couch, after a session of tender kisses here and there. He was already aroused, and he sensed that you were ready too. However, when you expressed uncertainty, he immediately stopped. He held you and reassured you that it was okay. He genuinely meant it, even though he had to take a cold shower by himself to cool off.

You had been with him for almost five months now, which really made you reflect on how quickly time flies. What's more, it was hard for you to believe that Javier had gone all those weeks without sex. He had a reputation, and you were well aware of it. He used to go from woman to woman; some of them you even knew from work, and others were his informants from the streets of Bogotá.

Initially, you were intimidated by his reputation as a heartthrob, a man afraid of commitment, as you had heard from office gossip. You didn't want to be just another one-night stand for him. You were the boyfriend-girlfriend kind of person. The dates, flowers and late night dancing kind of woman, someone who valued commitment, loyalty, and meaningful relationships. Plus, he was older than you, and you thought the age gap could be a problem when it came to establishing priorities in life. He was in his late 30s, and yet he didn't show any signs of wanting to settle down. It's not like you were desperate to get married; you were barely 26. But you needed to know if what you had could potentially lead to something more meaningful someday. You had a big crush on him and you wanted to make it last.

That's why you made him chase you for three months, wanting to see if he was trustworthy and if you were truly worth it to him. And then, after you said yes, he spent another fifteen weeks waiting for you, because he had fallen deeply in love with you. Your smile or even just a glance from you made his heart race every time. He felt like he didn't deserve the world because of all the sins he had committed, yet there was a piece of heaven in the shape of you right in front of him.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was the middle of June, to be more specific, Javi's birthday. You had spent the entire week asking him about any plans he might have for his special day, but he had insisted that he didn't want anything specific, just to spend the day with you. But you wanted him to have a great day to show him how much he was loved and important for you. And one of the things you planned was something he had been waiting patiently for quite a long time: you.

You were ready for him now. You had been dreaming about him all over you, his hands on your body, and the things he would let you do to him, and vice versa.

You two didn't live together yet, but you used to spend most days and some nights at his apartment, just like that morning when you woke up earlier than usual. He was still sleeping by your side, his bare chest rising and falling with each peaceful breath. He looked younger in that moment, with his messy hair, his face at rest, and his always furrowed brow now relaxed. He looked so innocent.

You didn't know it, but before you, he barely slept. He used to have sex with women but always slept alone, or at least, tried to. He spent endless cold nights tossing and turning in his bed, attempting to forget all the blood and violence he had witnessed during the day. But then there he was sleeping like a child, knowing you were right there and you would never left.

You got out of bed as quietly as possible to avoid waking him up. You retrieved the small shopping bag you had hidden in the closet and tiptoed to the bathroom. You had bought lingerie—a beautiful red lace babydoll that resembled a princess gown but with much less fabric, of course. The color matched your freshly painted nails, and your hair appeared even brighter with that color palette. You completed your look by applying a touch of color to your cheeks, lip gloss, and his favorite perfume of yours.

As you gazed at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, your cheeks flushed at the sight of yourself in that lingerie. You looked beautiful, and you had never felt more sexy. You returned to the bed where he was still in the arms of Morpheus. You lay down next to him, admiring his handsome features, and then placed a gentle peck on his cheek, hoping it would wake him up. But it didn't. So, you decided to gently turn his face toward you, using a finger on his chin to guide his lips to yours. It worked like a charm. He responded to your soft touch, kissing you back passionately. He purred with satisfaction and pulled you close, wrapping an arm around your waist. Then, his groggy eyes widened as they roamed over your delicate figure. Confusion flickered across his face for just a fraction of a second before he realized. You couldn't help but notice the way his eyes darkened, and he swallowed hard at the sight.

"You like it?" Your voice was a whisper, and in that very moment, he was the only one in the world who could hear your words. "Feliz cumpleaños."

He looked up at you, grinning with eyes full of desire, and appeared so alluring, almost like the devil himself. He hadn't said a word yet, and you were apprehensive about what his voice would do to you when he used it. With just the way he looked at you, he had you wrapped around his finger. You began to feel aroused, and now you knew that there was no force in the world that could stop you from doing what you were intended to do. Your lips met his once more, and your hands found their way to his broad chest, feeling his smooth, tanned skin melting beneath your fingertips.

He broke the kiss again, this time to take your hand and guide you out of the bed. He sat down at the corner of the mattress, placing you standing between his legs. You couldn't help but notice the bulge forming in his sleeping pants, causing you to blush.

"C'mere, baby, I need to see you," he whispered. His hands roamed all over your body, exploring every ribbon and every spaghetti strap, caressing the parts where the lace were too transparent. "You look gorgeous," he praised and you felt the heat travel from your cheeks to your core.

You felt a little ashamed tho, not used to being so exposed to anyone before. On the other hand, Javi was mesmerized by how you looked, every one of your curves, and how the babydoll suited you so well. He couldn't believe that it was happening; he was over the moon. But he needed you to know something.

"Are you sure, amor?" he asked, finding your eyes. He did his best to be serious, not wanting to appear too eager and pressure you. "There's no rush. It doesn't have to happen just because it's my birthday," he continued, but you silenced him with another kiss, feeling the muscles in his shoulders relax even more.

"I am ready, Javi," you promised. "I've been thinking about this for like two weeks," you confessed, and he chuckled.

"You have?" he asked, and you nodded. He left a gentle kiss on your lips and seated you on his knee. "Look at me, baby," he said. "You tell me if you want to stop, anytime, okay?" You nodded. "As I told you, there's no rush. We'll just have fun as long as you feel comfortable. We're taking things slow."

You knew it! You knew he was the one. His words meant everything to you. You couldn't feel more comfortable and protected with him. Sex was one of the most vulnerable and exposed scenarios for a person, yet you felt like you could do it with your eyes closed, not worrying about anything else in the world as long as it was Javi touching and caressing you.

"I'm gonna take good care of you, mi amor. Do you trust me?"

"With my entire life, Javi," you answered.

He smiled again, proudly, and took you by the waist. Without wasting any time, he placed you in the center of his bed. You opened your legs, inviting him to take his place between them. He admired you from the top, your body so sexy in that garment, your flushed cheeks, and your shining eyes. That image used to be in his dreams, but now there you were, right in front of him, on the verge of being completely his. And only God knows how much he wanted to be entirely yours.

Javi bent over you, his hands caressing every inch of your body, worshipping you. His lips left wet kisses on the delicate skin of your neck, jawline, and collarbone. Your hands roamed his arms, where his prominent muscles bulged from supporting his weight to avoid crushing you.

And then you felt his hardened cock against your core, making everything feel more real. You moaned in the middle of a kiss, overcome by the sensation and anticipation of what was about to happen. Javi began to press his bulge against the delicate fabric of your panties, leaving a wet spot on his pants.

His hand reached for one of your breasts, gently caressing your hardened nipple, causing a moan to escape into his mouth. The touch sent electric shocks through your core, making you grow increasingly wet.

"Javi, Javi..." you cried out, moving your pelvis to meet him halfway, trying to alleviate the building urgency stemming from your clit.

"You're so needy," he whispered into your ear, his words sending shivers down your spine and painting your skin with goosebumps. "Tell me what you want, preciosa, I want to hear you."

"Touch me, please," you begged as he moved against you. "Please, I need you."

"Fuck," he growled. His hands went to your back, undoing your bra, and he paid careful attention to the way your breasts were revealed for him.

His lips began on yours but then trailed down your jaw, finding their way to your neck. Wet kisses on your chest made you sigh, and then you lost all coherent thought the moment he captured one of your nipples with his mouth. Your back arched, and your fingers tightly gripped his arm. He moved to the other nipple, teasing with his tongue and teeth. Your whimpers filled the room, his name escaping your lips like a prayer, as you surrendered all control over your own body. You didn't want him to stop; you wanted more, so much more.

As if he were a mind-reader, his hand slipped into your panties. His thick fingers parted your wet folds, caressing you up and down, collecting your honey as they found your clit. A gasp escaped your lips due to the sudden and new sensation, feeling your arousal dripping from your sensitive pussy. You couldn't help but moan louder, your toes curling between the covers at the foot of the bed.

"You're so wet already, baby. That's so fuckin' good" He traced soft circles, bringing you relief. He teased your entrance with his fingers, but he didn't penetrate deeply. His thumb continued to stimulate your throbbing clit, while his middle finger attempted to enter you. You could feel the pressure between your folds, and due to your inexperience, it left you feeling overwhelmed.

Now it was your turn to slip your hand inside his pants, something Javi hadn't seen coming. He had been so concentrated on your pleasure that he didn't notice until you wrapped your trembling hand around his hard, warm cock. His skin felt like velvet under your touch. You began moving up and down, a little clumsy and uncertain if you were doing it correctly, but your desire was for him to feel as good as he was making you feel. In response, Javi let out a deep moan, his hips instinctively moving to find your touch, and he started whispering your name like a prayer.

"Yeah, baby, you're such a good girl," he praised, making you moan and became wetter. A few seconds passed, until he moved, ceasing his touch and forcing yourself to let him go. "I need to taste you," he said, slowly tracing a path with his kisses down your body, starting with the exposed skin of your breasts, then moving to your stomach and bellybutton, until he reached your panties. You watched as he positioned his head between your thighs, leaving gentle kisses on each side and slowly making his way toward your core.

"I think you don't need these anymore, sweetheart," he whispered as his fingers gripped the tiny straps on each side of your panties, slowly removing them. A gentle breeze caressed your wetness, and you let out a shivery sigh. He created a trail of soft kisses that led to your center until he finally began kissing your core. The sensation was unexpectedly delicious. You let out a cry and felt the impulse to close your legs, but he prevented it by grabbing you and making you stay still. You lost yourself in a whirlwind of sensations, where only you and Javi existed.

You were a virgin, but you weren't a saint. Of course, you had pleasured yourself before, often thinking of Javier Peña, but the way he was making you feel with his mouth was something else entirely. He was real, devouring you with the hunger of a starved man. His hands caressed your hips, your belly, and reached for your breasts. You couldn't help but whimper and praise him.

He looked up at you, his eyes dark and filled with lust. Unconsciously, Javi began to thrust his hips against the mattress, feeling the moist spot of precum staining his pants and boxers. His balls had become heavier, desperate for attention after several weeks without a woman's touch. Of course, he had taken care of himself, jerking himself off in the shower or during the nights he spent alone in his apartment. He always thought of you, reminiscing about your kisses, the warmth of your body against his, and even the way your pencil skirt hugged your heart-shaped butt around the Colombian Embassy.

"Javi... I... I want to come," you whimpered, feeling a knot growing steadily in your belly, signaling your impending climax. Meanwhile, Javi tasted your sweet honey pouring on his tongue. He intensified his attentions, fastening his sucks on your swollen clit, alternately licking your vulva and your entrance. Your fingers tangled in his soft hair, seeking something to hold onto as you approached your powerful orgasm.

You shattered into a million little pieces, melting all over his mouth, your essence dripping from his chin. He admired your body as it trembled and unraveled in front of him.

"There you go, baby, let it go," he encouraged.

You lost track of time, caring about nothing else; the entire world had disappeared beneath you, and you couldn't care less. As you descended from your peak of pleasure, Javi traced a trail of tender kisses from the curve of your hips to your belly and up to your neck. Until you felt his lips on your mouth again, and you moaned when you tasted yourself on him. You wanted so much more of him, to spend your entire life tangled with him in his bed.

Javier felt your heart beating rapidly against his chest, and for a moment, he thought that you might be tired and overwhelmed. But you proved him wrong by starting to pull his pants down, freeing his dick. You felt his weighty member against your belly, so you looked down. It was the first time you saw it. You found yourself even more aroused, if that was possible, and at the same time, you felt a touch of shyness. By this point, you had allowed him to kiss your entire naked body, bringing you to climax with his skillful mouth, and yet, your cheeks burned at the sight of his cock above you. He couldn't help but notice the pearl-white drops of his pre-cum that painted your lower belly.

"Baby, if you're tired, we can save it for another time," he managed told you, even though he didn't stop you from helping him remove his pants and boxers.

"I want you inside of me, Javi," you begged, your voice carrying more desperation than you had realized. "I want to make you feel as good as you've made me feel."

"You're such a naughty girl, who would've known?" he chuckled.

"Only for you, Javi," you assured him.

His eyes darkened further, drawing nearer to your lips again. "I can't believe no one has ever touched you before," he said, "You're every man's dream."

"Many had tried," you confessed. He felt a wave of jealousy, because he knew it was true and he couldn't bear the thought of another man touching you, kissing you... It made him feel selfish, but he couldn't help it. "But no one but you was worthy. I waited for the right moment; I always knew it would be the right man. And I knew it was you the very first moment I saw you."

"I swear I'll spend the rest of my life being worthy of you," he said, dead serious, and you could tell from the look in his eyes.

After placing a peck on his lips, you said, "You can start by fucking me," with a shy smile on your face. You were attempting some dirty talk, but he could tell from the way you whispered and tried to hold back a laugh that it made you feel a bit awkward. He also promised himself that he would help you get used to it, taking charge of teaching you.

"Your wish is my command, bonita" he answered. Javi reached for the first drawer of his nightstand and, without searching too much, took out a condom.

He knelt between your legs, and you watched him put it on. He was bigger and thicker than you had imagined. For the first time that night, you felt a wave of nervousness coursing through your body, anticipating the pain you had always heard about the first time.

Would it hurt? Would he be gentle enough with you? Would there be any bleed? These thoughts raced through your mind as he positioned himself at your entrance, collecting your wetness with the head of his dick. He had been so focused on this moment that he hadn't noticed your worried expression until he looked up at you for a kiss. In that very moment, he stopped, his heart skipping a beat. He didn't want you to feel unsure or uncomfortable. His only desire in that moment was for you to have the best experience, feeling loved and well taken care of by him.

"Is something wrong?" he asked. You shook your head to indicate that everything was okay. "Words, baby, I need you to use your pretty mouth," he added, his voice gentle.

"Everything's fine," you assured him, trying not to sound too nervous. "I'm just a little nervous."

"That's normal, mi amor, just relax," he replied. His lips met yours, and then he whispered in your ear, "You tell me if you need anything, preciosa. Are you ready?"

"Yes," you sounded more confident this time, and you could hear a smirk forming on his lips as he buried his face in your neck, and you held onto his strong arms.

Javi's hand traveled between your bodies, and you could feel him positioning at your entrance. The sensation made you gasp. Then he began to push inside slowly. At first, you felt pleasure, followed by a slight burning, as if something inside you were stretching. You couldn't help but wince and feel yourself growing pale. Javier didn't move, and you were grateful for that because you needed a moment.

"Are you alright?" he asked in a whisper, his voice tense.

"I'm okay," you tried to convince him – and yourself – that everything was fine. But it wasn't; it hurt a bit, it felt invasive. You wanted him to continue, but at the same time, you needed a break. So you decided, "Could you... could you pull out?"

He immediately complied, carefully withdrawing, his forehead creased in concern. "Did I hurt you?" he asked.

"No, it just felt awkward"

"Do you want to try again?" he asked. You couldn't tell because he didn't show any hints, but he was almost praying for you to give him an affirmative answer. He was as hard as a rock, and it was almost painful. However, he wouldn't push you to do something that might hurt you, so he remained patient and reminded himself that he had a whole lifetime to wait for you to be ready.

"I do," you murmured. He nodded, kissed you again, and continued. He left soft kisses along your neck and shoulders. You smell so good, like a mix of fresh flowers and fruits, he thought. It drove him completely insane.

"Relax, bonita. You're doing so fuckin' well," he praised. This time, when you felt him inside, it didn't hurt as much as before. On the contrary, it became a pleasant sensation.

Then you realized that he wasn't fully inside yet. As he continued to push, stretching you further, any discomfort faded away.

"You feel so good," Javier took his time to start moving slowly. His chest touch your nipples, stimulating them, making you increased your soft cries of pure pleasure. That was when all uncertainty disappeared. You began to feel incredible. Moan built up in your chest and escaped your throat. Javier was captivated by your gaze as you saw him directly in his eyes, and the way your lips parted to release cute moans and sighs.  Nose, cheeks, and chest turned red, the frown on your brow, and the way you scrunch your nose. He wouldn't last long. You looked so cute and sexy at the same time. You were a completely goddess, so pure and gorgeous.

His face disappeared between your hair and neck, leaving soft kisses and tasting your essence, whispering your name right into your ear amidst his own moans and pleasure-filled grunts.

"¿Te gusta, mi amor?" he wanted to hear you, although your mouth emitted the most sensual sounds he had ever heard.

"Si...," you could barely speak; the bliss was too intense, rendering you almost speechless. He was fucking you completely dumb. "Si, Javi, así me gusta."

"Fuck, you're so tight," he groaned. He rose to his knees again, his hands firmly gripping your hips to raise them and thrust harder. He was captivated by the way your beautiful breasts bounced, your face lost in pleasure, goosebumps covering your body. The morning sun illuminated your skin and hair.

He knew he wouldn't last, but he needed to make you cum again. Using his thumb, he began tracing circles on your swollen clit, sending you into an intense spiral of raw pleasure. Your back arched of its own accord, and your hand clutched his wrist just to have something to hold onto.

"¡No pares, Javi!" you whimper, so ecstasy-filled, begging him to keep fucking you like that. "Oh, you feel so good, Javi. I... I'm..."

"Cum for me, baby," he encouraged, "I wanna see you fucking cumming on my cock."

And then another wave of pure chaos consumed you. You threw your head back against the pillow, digging your nails into the muscles of his beautiful, strong arms. You felt your world crumbling beside you, and imploring again.

Javier had never cum as hard as he did the very moment he felt your pussy clenching around his cock. His balls throbbed as he cum inside of you. He was so deep on you, filling the condom with his thick, warm load and he couldn't help but imagine your pussy filled with his cum. Carrying his baby...

A couple of seconds passed until you both came down from the clouds. Javi pull out before went completely soft. He reach again for his night table and looked for a box of Kleenex and started cleaning the mess he made. And then he cleaned you, so gentle and caring. Then, he lay next to you, pulling your naked and warm body to his, kissing the top of your head.

"How do you feel, bonita?" he wanted to know. With one hand he traced soft circles on your arm, and with the other he massaged your head, making you feel sleepy.

"Amazing," you mumbled.

"Sleep, baby, you sound tired," he spoke in a soothing tone.

"But I've plan an entire birthday for you..." you tried to say, but your body felt so relaxed and exhausted.

"We have an entire life to do whatever you want, mi vida hermosa," he placed a soft kiss on your forehead and thighed his embrace around your body. "Now sleep, baby."

"Happy birthday, Javi," those were your last word before fell asleep on his arms, bodies tangled and hearts still racing.

Javier Peña wasn't a selfish man, but he wanted you to be his for as long as he may live.

NEXT CHAPTER

[killerlookz]

heyy! i hope this doesn’t come off as rude because you’re one of my fav joost writers and i genuinely enjoy ur writing so much but i have sort of some constructive criticism¿¿¿ so i love the way u characterize joost sm, however, sth that i find hard to believe in pretty much every joost fic in this app is the dialogue. now, joost has great english skills, however they’re not quite perfect. the way he words some phrases, how he conjugates some verbs, his overall expressions are very telling that he’s not a native speaker. and sometimes i read some of his dialogue in fics and i’m like “there’s no way he would’ve said that😭”, because while u do a great job writing what he would say, he wouldn’t say it in that way, you know what i mean? So yeah i really hope you’re not offended by this, i just think u have so much to offer, and by changing this tiny aspect (making his grammar a bit different, etc.) your fics would be even better. but that’s it, again, u can completely ignore this, ik it’s unsolicited advice and it can be annoying asf😭 thank u anyway!

hiiiiii!!! i totally understand where you’re coming from anon !!! i don’t mind constructive and your message was very respectful.

i’ve definitely thought about changing joost’s speech patterns / grammar in my fics, i do know i write his speech very “perfect” (i am a native english speaker haha) i just don’t want to come off like i’m “mocking” his accent u feel me? mostly because it’s hard to tell which words he doesn’t always get right and that’s not necessarily something i want to make up because then it does kind of get into kind of a weird territory. (i hope this makes sense? it just feels wrong to me to make up which words/grammar rules he’d get wrong, since it’s not always a 100% thing with him. he’ll get something right one time, and get it wrong another)

on the other side of the coin i also don’t want it to seem like im “dismissing” the fact he speaks with an accent so of course i always strive to make dialogue more accurate so i appreciate your comment. i do tend to watch interviews of his / videos of him when i’m writing so i can keep his general “vibe” in mind, but yeah for sure i’ll definitely watch out for particulars that are solidified in his speech when it comes to his english speaking!

[mamuzzy]

MAMUZZY READS HARD CONTACT: Chapter 1.2.

In case you need to hear it from someone: reading this book won’t make you misogynistic, queerphobic, terf, ableist, genocide-supporter and [insert whatever antis may have called you]. In fact, no book or movie, or game makes you one of these. How you behave with a flesh-and-blood person is what defines you, not the media you consume.

But maaaan… you can’t believe how hard this was to write. We are at still only on chapter 1, yet heavy themes such as grief, survival guilt and possible caste-system among the clones was already mentioned. And now as we follow a different point of view by introducing the secondary protagonist in Hard Contact, Etain Tur-Mukan, we’ll get into more darker topics. Getting the right words to talk about sensitive and serious topics like misogyny and sexism, rape and xenophobia was truly a challenge.

While I’m grateful to those repcomm-critical people who actually sat down and pointed out the problematic parts of the book for me in the past, I still feel that being critical of RepComm is like an exclusive club, where you can get inside if you already possess the secret of knowledge of… well, being critical thinker, and other “basic” criteria.

I mean, these are supposed to be serious problems. They fucking are. Misogyny is a serious problem all around the world, helping people to understand why you find certain parts problematic might be much more effective instead of going on full rage and tearing people heads off and make a fucking joke out of real people’s misery by gatekeeping information about serious topics.

In this essay, I will use related quotes from this section of the book to talk about an issue what I’m struggling with lately: relearning english language to be all-gender and sexuality inclusive. I know that lot of non-native english speakers are struggling with this, especially around my age or above, so I try to explain what does it mean to have addressed as female/male instead of woman/man in an everyday conversation, without calling you derogatory names for not knowing. Sorry that this has to be specific, but I’m truly angry about how antis rhetorics are basically about “if you don’t already know this, the problem is with you”. You can never assume with what background the readers come. Never.

-- FEMALE vs. WOMAN --

I started to recognize the differences between Hungarian edition and the original English release. Hungarian translations can be really good when a passionate and professional hand touches it and the more I read the English version, the more I think that the translation is faulty at some places. I often had that feeling that yeaaah, I get what the original english sentence would have sounded like. Karen Traviss’ style is much more simple, less-artistic and surprisingly easy to read despite the military topics.

Because of these differences, nuances can be lost in the translation.

Also, I started to feel the influence of the constant exposure of critical voices toward the books, and made this segment truly hard to read. Because when you hear certain voices, labels and slogans all the time, you are unconsciously trained to notice these things, I mean, that's how real life propaganda works. Immediately getting focused on certain words or expressions and immediately have the "appropriate" emotional response. And then you spend hours to figure it out if this is how the author intended or the curtain is just blue and that was it.

Here are some examples:

A friend of mine once told me that the book uses the word “female” a lot instead of woman and that is usually a telltale sign of someone being a TERF. Because of this, I immediately noticed that Ghez Hokan referred to women as such, moreover, he was talking to an alien.

I thought that our culture uses these terms entirely differently, but now that I researched a bit, it is not that different: the only difference is that english language uses “female/male” terms are incorporated in everyday speech like it’s nothing, while in Hungary, you don’t use such terms so casually.

What does this mean and why is this important in connection to queerness and especially trans-related topics?

In what context you use female/male?

You refer to people by their sex.

It is used in scientific context.

You use this when talking about flora and fauna.

You use this when you are talking other species that are not human and fantasy species.

If you use female/male terms on a human, you basicly degrade them to their mammalian status and reproductive abilities. You basicly call them animals.

A little Hungarian lesson: Hungarian language doesn’t have a word for gender. We use the same word for sex and gender, so basically there is no difference. Government use “dzsender” as a slur against transpeople in their propaganda, and deliberately don’t invent a Hungarian word for it, so it will still sound like english, therefore, it makes easier to alienate people even more from the “rotten west” when you use scary foreign words which meaning you don’t know and you don’t care to look up.

Because we don’t use female/male in our everyday language, only in scientific context, calling a women “female” sounds exceptionally rude and people will give you a weird look because of it.

You would say how our country is progressive language-wise (I love how people are going crazy over how we have a single gender neutral pronoun <3), but actually we are far from it. Yeah, it sounds nice that we use respective language when addressing women, but when a women are culturally encouraged to be treated like a breeding cattle based on their reproductive organs and constantly associated to motherhood, nice words just simply lose their meanings. That’s why I don’t really hung up on single words usages and labels. You totally focus on one thing and miss everything else around it. Women are treated shit no matter how appropriately you call them.

So imagine the confusion that I was introduced to a culture where you call women or men casually as animals and I’m expected to learn this language so the majority of the world may understand me, only to encounter with other people who will call me TERF and I don’t even know why. Progressive fandom spaces don’t automatically come with unconditional friendliness and patience.

Just for curiosity, I upload the hungarian version of this scene.

English in comparison

Because hungarian used the term of “nőket” (woman+plural+accusative), the potential problematic usage of “female” are completely lost in the translation. Even if you have the misogyny-lense on, in hungarian, you won’t find this scene problematic... well apart from the obvious that someone is getting killed brutally. “Nő” is a completely acceptable way to talk about women in Hungary, and you use “hölgy” if you especially want to be polite or talking face-to-face.

-- ABOUT XENOPHOBIA --

Other thing I wanted to show you regarding this scene, that beside misogyny and terf-associations, Karen Traviss is often accused by fans by being xenophobic to alien species other than humans. If you remember in what cases we call living beings female/male, anything that is not human are referred like that in everyday English language.

I honestly can’t decide if the word usage of “female” was due to the guy being weequay (an alien, other than human), or because Ghez Hokan don’t respect women or it has some significance at all. We actually see Hokan talking to a woman later so we can check this later.

Also I can’t decide if comparing the “incoherent animal sound beings made when pain overwhelmed them” is just a description of sound or the so-called KarenTravissness. See what slogans and labels do to your brain? If you are fed that this book is xenophobic, you will see xenophobia everywhere.

I’m not here to make judgment about english language, but I hope I could provide help in translating one of the common slogans and catchphrases people usually don’t bother to explain, because this is something you are supposed to know on your own.

Don’t gatekeep important information to make yourself feel more intellectually and morally superior!

-- WEEQUAY LORE --

Etain actually has opinions about the Weequays. She starts the chapter being on the run, chased by a Weequay mercenary. First of all, Etain is not having a graceful entry because she spends her first minutes hiding in a barq-field (very expensivy luxury grain), most precisely, in manure, and this scene alone made me fall in love with her. But also the Weequay didn’t hide what intention he has when he founds Etain.

A certain someone in repcomm tumblr said that Etain should sort out her racist and xenophobic thoughts because Hondo Ohnaka definitely has a diverse vocabulary. I don’t know, but if I was chased by a someone in threat of getting raped, I wouldn’t think nice and politically and socially correct things either, but it's probably just me. People really should sort out their priorities. But it only made me wonder and research further. Because I played old Star Wars games, I know that Weequays are fluent in Huttese but it made me wonder: do weeqays have their own language?

LORE TIME!!!!!!!!!

The first weequay appeared in the Original Trilogy serving Jabba the Hutt, called Pagetti Rook.

But who are these guys actually?

Weequays are a humanoid race originating from the desert planet of Sriluur, The Outer Rim with a neighbouring Hutt Space/Hutt Sector. Their appearance evolved due to the harsh weather conditions. They have clan-based, harsh society with a mindset of “only the strongest will survive”, and what is especially interesting about them that they don’t use speech as their primary communication form, they use pheromones to communicate. When a weequay is from another clan, there is no guarantee that they will understand each other, let alone people from other races. They don’t use names (only when they are blending among non-weequays), because they identify each other by smell. This is one reason other species find them inferior and uncivilized and unintelligent. You can see braids on his head which has cultural significance, weequay women are bald.

Weequays already appeared in the Original Trilogy serving Jabba the Hutt, and usually in this role you will find them: due to their neighbouring influence of Hutt Space, they serve Hutt clans. It’s one of the very common star wars cantina scenes, where you see women of different alien species entertaining guest, and if the bar is Hutt affiliated, there is a chance that they are slaves and kept against their will. Weequays are different: they remained independent from the Hutts, but they will lend their aid, lend their mercenaries to serve them, so they are mostly associated in with gangs, crime syndicates, drug cartels, smugglers etc. Weequays and Rodians often associated with criminal gangs in Legends.

On the bright side, there were force-sensitive weequays in the Jedi Order: Que-Mars Redath-Gom - Died in the Battle of Geonosis Master Kossex - died in the First Battle of Kamino Master Tyr - died in the Battle of Thustra Master Sora Bulk - Betrayed the Order and joined Count Dooku General Sev - Died during O66

So according to Legends-lore, Etain’s little comment about the weequays’ communication skills is not entirely out of place. Now if Etain was aware that they had weequays in the Jedi Order or not is another question, or more like, if Karen Traviss was aware. From what I know about her, she wasn’t well versed in the Extended Universe’s (now Legends) lore.

… I really hope that my little lore-detours don’t bore you. It will happen again.

-- ABOUT MISOGYNY --

UFFFFFF-!!!!!!! Reminds me of a time, when once I walked late at night to home, I looked behind my back because I heard someone and the guy yelled after me with hurt self-esteem: YOU especially don’t have to worry!

The swift comeback indicates that maybe this isn’t the first when Etain got such comments about her looks. We actually got a glimpse about her appearance by that weequay.

Scrag-end is a derogatory slang for thin and veiny people.

I want to make clear another thing. Misogyny is present in this book, and I truly believe that depicting misogyny itself is not misogyny. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MISOGYNY, but like a mature person, and not treat it like a fucking fandom trope!!!

It’s the sad reality that things like this exist in the real world. Erasing it from literature because it makes you uncomfortable - regardless if you are affected or not - won’t help anyone. “It should be actively condemned by the narrative!!!!” Like you would actively condemn misogyny happening before your very eyes? Would you be brave enough to step between a guy and her girlfriend who is being yelled at or you decide it’s not your business? Will you call out a woman (and your boss) who claims that women should make the environment clean because boys are just stupid boys who can’t do shit on their own (which is now a road to misandry as well. LOL! Misandry is not recognized as a legit word in scrivener)? You would probably just politely smile while serving a woman customer who just told you that you shouldn’t lift heavy things and do man’s job because your uterus will be damaged and you can’t have kids. I’ve got more misogynistic remarks from women than men actually.

Nobody will teach you how to protect yourself from misogyny and people like these. I never feel protected and loved by couch activists who are supposedly on women-side preaching about fictional misogyny but I can protect myself from actual assholes face-to-face, because I had to learn to do it. This book won’t teach either the how-tos, but maybe you can recognize speech patterns. This is how you use a “problematic” literature. You learn from it. If you learn from all this that it’s okay to talk about women like that, the problem is with you, my friend.

-- ABOUT ETAIN --

We get to know about Etain that she is not very good user of the Force, or at least she is not mindful in stressful situations like this. She is exhausted and not have any strength left, emotions completely overrun her.

It made me really wonder what Etain was through if her first thought was to cut down a farmer with her lightsaber.

You know… the more I read about Etain (and what I remember about her in the other books), I would say that she is written as a child soldier. Which is weird because Jedi are ultimately are not trained to be soldiers

There are a lot of paragraphs where she compares herself to the clones and comparing their upbringing to hers, but her reactions in this scenes, it made me really wonder.

*SNORT* This part made me chuckle. Clever girl.

Etain definitely has doubts in her own abilities. It is not known if Master Fulier truly thought about Etain this way, some gestures indicated that in the past, or simply Etain’s low-self-esteem is talking. In this part, we don’t get to know more about her relationship with her master, but Fulier is described a challenge-loving person, and that could explain Etain’s jumpiness as well.

Interesting parallel that for a clone’s punishment is decomission if they fail their tests.

While it’s not supposed to be a punishment for a Jedi, those padawans who are not suited for knighthood are sent to one of the four service corps (Medical, Agricultural, Educational and Exploration). Etain is certainly feels it as a punishment to be sent here. Imagine you are trained for one thing in your life, and if you fail, you ultimately failed everything in life. Not exactly death, but almost.

-- JEDI AND THE TERRITORIES OUTSIDE OF THE REPUBLIC --

Another so-much-heard critic about Karen Traviss’ work that she wrote everyone hating on the Jedi, even the civilians.

But: Qiirula at this time (and probably before) is a Neutral planet in the midrim. Meaning, they have no ties with Republic. They don’t get aid, they don’t get Jedi visitors because it’s not their jurisdiction to care about. Ultimately the Senate decides where a Jedi should go and maintain peace. I don’t see why should an average quiirulan look at the Jedi like a godly entity and positive figure if they never see one before. Legends and hero stories won’t feed your stomach after all but you have bullies like Ghez Hokan and his mercenaries and the Neimoidians traders who will exploit you shitless.

There is no active war on Qiirula, but the Jedi are here - Padawan Etain and her master, Kast Fulier -, and that means, there is something here that is worth something to the Republic and something requires a Jedi presence after all.

The Jedi are not obligated to help the neutral systems or those under the CIS unless the Republic sends there forces to occupy and then they have maintain peace and enforcing the political decisions that had been made. At least that's what real life peacekeepers are doing in contries with tension. Do what you will with this information.

I certainly don't vibe with the Jedi Order as a government supported religious order.

That’s it for now, Chapter 1.3 will be the next, a smaller post introducing Fi and Niner and that will sums up the entire Chapter 1. ^^

Sorry if this one sounded like a rant, but I hate when people are throwing labels here and there and words eventually lose their impact.

[antonnieely]

before our last stage of 2023...:D

hello! to everyone who might be reading this, hi! haha, i just felt that, while i am a native english speaker, as all of you must know by now, i haven't really had or taken the chance to express myself in english. so, as another year comes to a close, i wanted to write down some of the things i've been thinking about lately and also share my thoughts with anyone who bothers to read this. haha. I’m not someone who usually journals or writes down my thoughts regularly, but i do sometimes find myself doing so near this time, at the end of the year, as a sort of self-reflection on what i've felt and experienced over the course of the year. what have i accomplished? can i honestly say i tried my best? or maybe how i've changed, or haven't changed, and so on and so forth. so while i'm still only 19 years young with lots more to learn and experience, i think i can say with confidence that even when looking back many years later, 2023 will, to me, have been one of the most important years of my life. Thinking back to the start of 2023, i had been going through some turbulent times. i recently looked through some photos from around this time last year, and what i saw was a very different version of myself. changes happen naturally, big or small, so i'm not saying i'm surprised at how much has changed. but just last year, i was still a trainee, not knowing when i would be able to debut and unsure of whether or not things were going the way they should. i think i should've had more confidence in myself, given the fact that i had left my previous life behind to pursue this dream of mine. but what a relief it is that i've at least gotten to where i am today, and i am proud of myself for having seen things through to the end, although i have not yet felt the satisfaction i once thought i would after debuting. more than that, i think i've been able to realize more fully what it is i want to achieve as an artist and learned that it tends to be harder to be content. and more than anything, i've felt a lot of gratitude towards my family and friends who've always supported me and to the team i've been so blessed to be a part of. and of course, to the fans that have found us and have joined us in our "journey" to achieve great things. No matter how hard i might try, realistically i can only see things from my point of view and in turn only have the right to speak on the things i have personally experienced. so for that reason, i don't believe in assigning levels to struggle, as all people can only speak on the things they are going through. but if there is anyone out there who might be feeling their way through their own obstacles, i hope that they can at least find the strength to not give up. I think that all people perceive time quite differently, so a very long time for someone can seem very short to another. i, for one, feel that time flows very quickly, so right now, i can't believe another year has gone by so fast. but in a year so full of things to remember, i truly am grateful for all the highs and lows i went through. just about four months have passed since our debut. only four months? already four months? what might be some of my new year's resolutions... stay true to myself? and continue to work hard to fulfill my ambitions. and for riize to stay rising. heh. My rant. thank you, and happy new year 🧡

[wisteriartist]

I wrote something about my OCs. I’m not really good I only started recently so if any of you has advice you’re welcome. And I’m not a native English speaker so tell me if some grammar is wrong

Tw: graphic description of violence

Sunset Hours

It was almost dusk and as the sun's rays lit up the orange sky the Twin Moons rose on the opposite horizon; in the meanwhile Savika and Florian were leaving the little rural village.

The girl turned to check that no one was following them but the path behind them was empty; yet she couldn't shake the feeling of being watched.

“Savika, is everything okay?”

“Yeah… I just feel like we’re being followed,” she said as she looked around. She was exhausted. She hadn't been sleeping or eating enough since she ran away and perpetual nausea stopped her from doing both no matter how hard she tried.

Florian observed the surroundings carefully but did not perceive any danger “Maybe it's just those from the village who are curious to know what two foreigners like us are doing here. Not to mention that it's clear that I'm an elf. But I didn't notice any wanted flyers around the village. The danger might come from outsiders."

“Yes… you're right…” the other replied, although not very convinced. Since she was a kid she had learned to never let her guard down and, even though her life had been relatively serene lately, she couldn't relax.

They walked along the Asiteral Trail, staying at the edge almost inside the forest, since it was usually quite busy, because it was the only connection that most places had to the capital, and Savika didn’t want to attract too much attention.

To give reason to her paranoia there was a small group of people who were going in the same direction as them, carrying the horses by hand. They were shady characters, with weapons concealed under their clothes that Savika's trained eye noticed immediately, and were eyeing them suspiciously. Savika pulled her hood over her eyes to slip past them without being recognized. Unfortunately their gazes were focused on them, on Florian to be precise.

He attracted a lot of attention, not only because he was an elf but also because he seemed to brighten the places he was in with both his appearance and his personality.

His long blond hair shined golden in the last rays of the sun, contrasting the dark roots that peeked out of his scalp. He was smiling at her, a kind and reassuring smile, but she looked away, tormented by feelings that she couldn't even understand. However, she didn't have time to think about it because she noticed that the group they had just passed had shrunk from 10 to 6 thugs.

Savika suddenly stopped and with her arm blocked Florian and pushed him into the forest.

“Savika what-?“ she couldn't finish her sentence because she the girl covered his mouth with her hand, startling him. She didn’t notice but his cheeks blushed slightly at the contact.

“They're following us” Savika whispered, nodding her head towards a shadier, more hidden area of ​​the forest. Looking closely she could see two figures advancing towards them.

“There are two more behind and in front of us. Plus those left on the main road. Be prepared”

“Do you think they recognized you?” Florian asked worriedly, looking around.

“Maybe.” Savika pulled two knives from the sheaths at her hips and handed one to the elf.

From inside the forest there were sounds of breaking branches and a hissing whistle cut through the air. Savika felt a searing pain across her chest: a verretta (crossbow arrow) had pierced her body and came halfway out of her chest. Her vision filled with black dots and a trickle of blood began to come out of her wound, the hemorrhage stopped only by the same weapon that had caused it. Her mouth was filled with the metallic taste of her own blood and her fangs pricked her lips. Stop it. This is not the time she thought trying to distract herself.

“SAVIKA!” Florian shouted, turning to her with a terrified expression as she pushed him to the ground, just before a bolt passed over their heads, embedding itself in a tree.

The gang surrounded them while they were both on the ground and her leader placed a foot on Savika's back to keep her on the ground.

“What a surprise! The poster said 'Dangerous, approach with caution' but it took me one arrow to knock you out.” he mocked her and the other bounty hunters laughed with him "Thanks to you I will secure not only my freedom but also a life like a king!"

“You bastard-“ Savika growled through clenched teeth, collapsing under the weight placed on her. Her hair went over her face, narrowing her field of vision, and her own blood filled her lungs, rising to her trachea and filling her mouth. Another person was holding Florian still, who was shaking like a leaf and with wide eyes.

As her vision blurred and her breathing hitched, Savika felt her blood boil in her veins: she wouldn't die like that, she hadn't survived anything and everything to be killed by a bunch of chicken thieves. She tapped into that primal rage within her, the one that had been hers since she was born, the one that the High Priestess would have called Divine Madness, and she screamed.

The sky turned scarlet tinting the environment with that color and alike did her eyes, including the sclera. Savika turned the ring on her finger. Once. Her fangs elongated, piercing her lip, the new blood mixing with the blood from her lungs. Twice. Her nails grew longer as her skin grew even darker, turning pitch black up to her elbows. Three. Click. The sword's hilt fit perfectly in her hand, and its tip pierced cleanly through the man above. Blood and guts splashed around and covered Savika from head to toe. The girl fought and her movements were perfect, mowing down the men with her sword as if they were ears of corn.

The last one left was the one who was holding Florian down, who tried to say something, to plead for their life, but didn't have time. The sword split his skull in half, stopping a few centimeters from Florian's neck.

“Savika! What is going on?" Florian placed his hands on her shoulders, shaking her out of her daze. “What have you done…?”Her eyes slowly returned to normal as did her arms, the black giving way to the brown of her skin.

“Ah… you… sorry…” Savika tried to clean his cheek, smeared with bloody remains, but she only left a bigger, bloodier imprint. And she passed out as the elf tried to catch her mid air.

[miss-tribulationperiwinkle]

English

I’m one of those people who believe in the healing power of theater. I firmly believe that seeing a play or a show can equate to a session (or more than one) of therapy. Theater shows us the world from our seats, it tells the stories of multiple people, different to us, exactly like us. It sometimes mirrors our lives, it sometimes shows us everything we have never lived. I believe it’s something magical that allows us to be as human as possible and feel as much as we can possibly feel during the time of the performance. It allows us to laugh and cry in cathartic ways while being surrounded by hundreds of people, all going through different journeys, who are witnessing the same thing we are.

This past month and a half I’ve been very lucky to be in the audience of many plays and shows, and there were many that filled my mind with thoughts, new and old, welcomed and unwelcomed, comforting and awkward. One of those plays was English. 

English tells the story of a class in Iran where English is taught (particularly for students who want to sit for the TOEFL exam). I have been on both sides of a classroom, being an English teacher and a student of the language, so it’s no surprise that I saw myself in many of the characters. But many scenes made me feel very, very emotional, and they made me think about my relationship with English. 

It made me realize one of the reasons it’s so hard for me to make friends in this foreign place known as the US is because I’m still scared of speaking English with native speakers. I was the nerdiest student in my class and I loved, loved, loved learning the language. I still do. I even went to college to become a translator, but now, years after I graduated, I’m still afraid of people hearing my accent. Of people thinking I’m stupid because I used the wrong word or didn’t pronounce one correctly. I’m not stupid, but I’m sure you’d think I’m smarter in Spanish. The same way I think I’m funnier in Spanish. Or that I can express myself better in Spanish. 

It is hard living in two different languages, it truly feels like you’re two different people sometimes. Why is it that I can speak in English so well with everyone in my country, but not here? Well, in the play one of the characters said that he felt comfortable in the classroom because he spoke well there. I speak better than lots of people in my city, but when I’m in NYC, I just feel stupid. I feel that my knowledge is not enough and it will never be. I’ll never speak like a native because I’m not a native. I know I shouldn’t strive for perfection but I don’t know how to make the feeling of not knowing enough go away. 

And then, there’s also the feeling that I will forget all the words and not be able to talk to people, that people will not have the time to stop and wait for words to come to my mouth. Now, when I want to really say something to someone, I write it down on a DM, a letter, a text. That way I know I will have the time to say what I want, that I can give myself permission to take the time I need if words don’t find me easily. I just wish I didn’t feel that way, I wish I could speak more freely, the way I do in my mind, or the way I do with my non-American co-workers. I wish speaking English allowed me to be as much myself as Spanish does, I wish I could be funny in English, I wish I could say anything, I wish I wasn’t so afraid of saying everything I want to say, I wish I could speak without fear of not being able to express myself correctly. Maybe it’s time I started working on that. Maybe I should let myself look stupid in front of people, and have trouble finding the right word, and mess things up, and say the wrong thing when I mean the opposite. Maybe that’s the way I will truly find who I am in English. But sometimes it’s just so hard to open my mouth and just… talk. 

[chansonderoland]

Roland Valentine’s scene & CE translation - Fate/Grand Order

[Let’s see… I’m going to give this chocolate to Roland, but]

Roland A chocolate for me?! Ohh, thank you!

I have no choice but to take it off!

Ye—ah! I got a chocolateeeeeee!

*shakes head* 

[He won’t go that far, right!] [... probably!]

*Roland and Astolfo training* 

Roland Haaaaaaaaaah!

Astolfo Yaaaaaaaaaah!

Ready, set—

Roland !

Astolfo Too late!

[Vulcano Caligorante (Capture Net of Good Fortune)]!

Roland It’s not… too late!

[(The sword got entangled in his arm—!?)]

Astolfo Huh? Huh, huh, huh?

Roland …. Mmmmmmmmh…!

Astolfo Wa, wa, wah. Wa, wait—

Roland Hahaha, there’s no way I’d wait!

*loud crash* 

Astolfo Uhnyah—!?

Roland It’s the difference between our strength and our tactics. The only thing in your advantage was your timing.

As long as I know how to handle that, the rest is easy.

Astolfo Uuhh….

Roland Even if you look at me like that, it’s still the truth—

Astolfo You’re right!  Then let’s go one more time!

Master’s here now, so I won’t lose this time! 

Roland Oh, Master. My bad, my bad. What is it?

If it’s training we can do it together… 

[Roland, here you go!]

Roland ?

???

Astolfo Roland has the same expression as a cat that has seen something strange…

It’s choco, y’know, chocolate!

Ah, Master. Please gimme one too!

[I’ve already given you one] [Sorry, I’ll give it to you next time]

-> [I’ve already given you one]

Right, right! 

… will you give me another one? You won’t? You won’t, huh—

-> [Sorry, I’ll give it to you next time] 

Yay, I’m looking forward to it!

Astolfo So, Roland, what’s wrong? 

Roland Um…. no. I just don’t know what I should do.

Don’t get me wrong!   I’m really grateful! There’s no doubt about that!

However… You need to give something in return for Valentine’s, right?

I just can’t think of anything to give you in return for this favour…

[(He’s more serious than I thought…)]

Astolfo Uhmm. Well, anything other than stripping is fine, right?

I’ll go train with someone else while you think about that! 

*Astolfo leaves* 

Roland Hey, wait, Astolfo! Let’s think about this together!

Geez. He really left, huh…

Uhm… Master. Is there anything you want?

If it’s something I can give you, I’m ready to give you anything!

Though it’s impossible if it’s something I don’t have…

[Anything is fine]

Hey, that’s cold.

It makes it harder for me if you say that.

Ah, but wait a second. Hmm…. it can’t be helped. I’ll bring out my best!

[Your best…?] [Your best…] 

-> [Your best…?]

Yeah, my best!

->[Your best…]

Roland Yeah, in other words— My best birthday suit!

Roland I know what you’re thinking, but that’s not it. 

*Roland kneels* 

Roland My Master. No, at this moment, my King!

I dedicate my fealty and my oath,  and my chivalry to thee.

[Huh!?]

Are you dissatisfied?

[No, not at all!]

*Roland gets up* 

Heey, I’m just kidding, just kidding!

I’ll give you something more concrete when we get back!

Like QP! Or golden fruits!

*slap* 

Eh, that won’t do either?

That’s hard… then, I have only one thing left…

— should I take it off?

[This is enough—!]

Okay, understood!

Ah, but even if it’s not a return gift for the chocolate, my fealty and oath are real!

You can trust me on that! See ya!  

*Roland leaves* 

[My knight, huh…]

—

As a knight

A return gift from Roland.

Well, for me as a servant, even if another master shows up— For you, I’ll be your one and only servant.

So even if my king is here, as a knight, there is no doubt to whom I should give my allegiance to. My dear, esteemed Master. On my life and on my pride, I swear in this moment that I shall protect you with all my heart and soul.

Hahaha. Did I manage to seem like a knight for once?

— more than enough.

— 

TL Notes: 

I am no expert in Japanese, and I would have never attempted to translate this scene if it wasn’t dubbed. Take it with a grain of salt and feel free to disregard as soon as something better comes up. I tried to make it as natural as possible, but I’m not a native English speaker either, so if you think it’s weird, it probably is. 

Anyways, thanks for reading and please remember to give your Roland a chocolate. 

[crestofshame]

The ramblings of an english major at 3am about Petra Macneary’s language development.

For awhile now, I have been trying to figure out what the language of Brigid would be analogous to. It’s hard to think too hard about it, especially considering that her speech patterns are localized, but it is definitely formulaic. Unfortunately, I cannot speak nor understand even a little Japanese, so this is just from the perspective of the localization.

For a while, I thought that the way Petra spoke was random grammatical errors to emphasize the fact that she was foreign. But, with 300 hours in Houses and 100 in hopes, I’ve noticed that other characters (Claude, Dedue, Nader) do not have this issue. Claude we can assume grew up speaking both languages because of his parents; Dedue and Dimitri exchanged languages; Nader briefly mentions how he learned it, but I fail to recall exactly what he said. Dedue is the most important one here; he admits to petra in their new support chain that he’s fluent because he had a teacher, petra had to study on her own.

While I do not speak Japanese as previously mentioned, I do speak another language (Turkish; not very well, but I can manage). One of the interesting things I found out was that there are things about a language that only non-natives will know. For example, my teacher knew the order that adjectives had to be organized in, which most native English speakers do subconsciously. I also had to relearn subject-object-verb placement, because it is totally different from English.

Petra seems to know subject, object, and predicate placement pretty well; most of her sentences are organized. What she struggles with the most pre timeskip is finding the right words (I assume she’s translating in her head as she is not fluent), and detecting satire. Both of these things are improved post timeskip, even if she mentions her frustrations with not being able to properly express herself, especially in Hopes. (She even detects puns, fires quips, and mentions new words that she learns.) Her confession letters as well as statements from her in Houses (especially after timeskip) reveal that she actually is more adept at reading and writing the language of Fodlan than speaking it. This is likely because she learned from books and because writing allows her to process what she is saying, rather than trying to translate fast for the convenience of maintaining conversation.

There’s one thing that makes her learning curve so unique and formulaic to me, and it’s typically what she gets ’wrong’ when she’s speaking and sometimes writing: Verb tense.

If there’s ever an ‘issue’ with her speech, it typically has to do with verb tense and grammatical parallelism, in which there’s subject-verb agreement and a consistent verb tense through a whole monologue. Petra tends to favor perfect continuous verb tenses the most. For example, instead of saying, ”I am excited,” Petra will say, ”I am having excitement.” In some cases, she will use just perfect tense (“I have excitement”). While this is technically correct as the suffix of the root agrees with the verb tense, this is just obedience of following grammar rules rather than the typical vernacular. Assuming that English is the Fodlani analogue language (for those of us playing localized), I’m stuck on why she gravitates toward using perfect verb tenses when speaking. Because she learned from a book and is likely translating in her head probably 70% of the time, whatever language Brigid speaks must have way fewer verb tenses.

It’s probably safe to assume that Brigid’s language has past, present, and future tense, but likely only has perfect and perfect continuous tenses. OR, a more likely answer, its language is lacking in tense and has direct translations to perfect tense.

My guess would be that its analogue is something like Malay or another Austronesian language, which would make sense if they were nodding to it by making Brigid an archipelago.

I love Petra’s character so much, and getting to see more of an extent of her frustration with being an incredibly intelligent and incredibly feeling person in a world where she cannot express the entirety of what she thinks and feels because of language and ignorance was such a good addition to her character in hopes. I love our Brigid princess! She loves and fights fiercely despite being faced with many troubles that are very unique from the rest of our cast.

Anyone who has any other suspicions for the language or someone else who has the perspective of the non-localized text, I would love to hear what you have to say! Feel free to correct if I’m wrong or add your own thoughts.

[stylesann]

Rebuilding

Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Summary: Steve decides to go back to the 40’s and you hurt.

Warnings: idk? Angst but happy ending

A/N: I have no idea what this is but aaa I feel like it’s bad lol, I just always get in a very angsty and dramatic mood every time that I read a story about Steve leaving so I wanted to do my own twist? Idk, and it’s been yeaaaars since I don’t write anything and also I’m not a native English speaker so I apologise any mistakes. Comments are always welcome 💕 -> written in around 15/04/2021; ->posted 28/05/2021

Masterlist

You stare at the ocean and release all the air you were holding on your lungs. You still felt your body heavy but at least your tears had stoped. You’re fighting hard to keep your thoughts out of your head, to keep your mind calm like the scenario in front of you, an empty beach with the ocean waves rhythmically hitting the shore. The sky had a lot of clouds and it would probably rain soon, but you didn’t mind, it matched you mood.

You could say you were surprised but all you felt was disappointment, sadness and if you were being honest, you felt anger and jealousy. What Peggy had that you didn’t? I mean, you didn’t know the answer and you were sure if you had asked Steve he wouldn’t be able to give you one cause he had spent such a short amount of time with her that he couldn’t be able to actually know all of her. All her flaws, all the quirks. In the past you had thought he didn’t even loved her anymore and was just in love with an image, an illusion he had from his past. But for him to had left you for her you weren’t even sure of that anymore.

You also felt used, replaceable, like you were just kept there cause he couldn’t do better, cause he couldn’t be with her. And now that he could he just tossed you away. You knew Steve wasn’t that kind of guy, but thats how you felt. And no one could tell you how you should feel or deal with it.

So that’s what lead you here. It had all happened hours ago. You saw his old self in that bench and you just felt numb. Bucky tried to hold you, he said that Steve wanted to talk to you but you just left. You had that right didn’t you? You didn’t care about what he had to say, it was all bullshit. You didn’t care about his guilt, or how sorry he was. You didn’t even care to go back to the apartment you shared with him, because you knew if you had gone there you would be stared by a hundred pictures you had with him.

You just wanted to get away. So here you came. You look down to the wedding band on you finger and the engagement ring. You wore both together but it didn’t make sense to have them anymore. You didn’t want any memories from Steve on you so you take them out and feel their light weight on you palm. You knew this was it, it was your way of closure, of ending that part of you life. You take a deep breath and throw them at the sea. There’s no way of seeing them drown but just the thought that you didn’t have them anymore made you lighter.

You turn around, ready to go back to the car that brought you here but you see a familiar figure blocking the way. Bucky.

“How are you feeling, doll?” he says approaching you. You didn’t know how long he was standing there or what he had seen. You wonder if he could see how empty and drained you really were.

“In the moment I’m not feeling anything. I think I’m still mostly numb. But that’s probably for the best, right?” You try to give him a light answer knowing that he lost his best friend too. How could Steve have left him after fighting so long to have him back was beyond you. “Did you know? Did you know what he was gonna do?”

“I did” that was all it took for the tears to start falling from your eyes. Why had Steve told him and not you? You were his wife for gods sake didn’t you deserve at least this? Bucky reaches for you but you push him away.

“Why didn’t h-he tell me? Why did he d-do this?” you hiccup between the words, the tears falling harder than before.

“I think he just didn’t have the guts to. You know he loves you, Y/N-“

“Screw him! If he did, he wouldn’t have done this!” All the feelings you were trying to push down seem to come to surface and tighten their grip on your chest. “I can’t understand why you aren’t angry? Why aren’t you feeling betrayed?”

“He didn’t leave me alone Y/N, he asked us to take care of each other” he has a pleading look on his face while he says that, and you see that the difference between you and him is that he had some time to come to terms with his friends decision, he’s sad but keeping it to himself. He’s trying to be strong for everyone one else who didn’t know, for you mostly.

“I don’t care about what he asked. I’m not staying and I’m not doing what he would want me too. I’m always gonna be there for you Buck, not because he’s wants that but because I care about you. Whatever you need you can call, even if it’s just for a chat, but I’m not staying, i can’t. I am getting into that car and I’m gonna drive away as much as i can, and I’m only stopping when I feel like I’ve put miles between me and this” you say more calm than you were minutes before. You had a plan, it may not be the best one but that’s what you had for now. You didn’t want to be in the same place you lived with Steve, you didn’t want to see the same scenarios you saw with him, you wanted nothing from him. Maybe it was bitter of you, or maybe you didn’t have the best coping mechanism but you needed the distance.

Bucky’s expression seemed to sadden a bit but he understood, he knew this wasn’t easy for you. “I don’t want to change your mind about leaving, so I say the same, if you need anything you call Y/N, got it?” He says as he hugs you firmly.

“Got it” you say in whisper against his shoulder, his arms still around you delaying the last moments he’s gonna have with another friend. You hate to be doing this, he didn’t deserve it you knew it, but you also knew that he wouldn’t be willing to accompany you on your trip, and it was something that you needed to do alone. You were alone.

“You know he wouldn’t have done this if he didn’t know you you be able to rebuild your life, right? You’re a strong person” He uses the same tone of voice you had, he probably just didn’t want to trigger you into making your feelings rise again.

“Everyone has the ability to rebuild themselves, Buck. The fact that I’m strong shouldn’t make what he did alright. And I don’t feel much strong now... I just feel like I’m a shell. And even if I do find someone else, how am I going to let them in? How am I supposed to trust anyone with my heart, when the guy I gave all my heart before completely destroyed me?” A single tear fall from your eye, but you hold the rest back. “I’m going to be fine but I don’t even know what that mean anymore.” He just nods to this, and I know there’s nothing left to be said so I head to the car and take a deep breath holding the wheel. This is it.

I look at Bucky while I drive away, he’s still standing where I left him and I hope with everything on me that he will be fine too. Whatever that means.

****************************

The sun is harsh on your eyes slipping through the curtains open frames. You turn your head to the other side and you feel a heavy weight on your waist stopping you from moving further than that. You slowly open your eyes to see Franks figure with his arm on you and his head drowned on the pillow.

You turn again to look at the clock to see it marking 8:47 am. Mary would be up soon, so you slip from Frank taking extra care not to wake him up and head to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast.

“Y/N! Y/N! Can we have pancakes today?!” Mary breaks into the small kitchen excitedly jumping around. Today you and Frank would be taking her to her new math club and she couldn’t be more anxious about it.

“What is going on here” Franks rough morning voice appears on the room. He’s rubbing his eyes and seems to be sleeping still.

“We are making Mary her favourite pancakes for breakfast” you answer them as you get the ingredients on the counter. Mary hugs you and sits straight on the table waiting for you to prepare them.

It had been 6 years since the day you left New York and ended up traveling for a long time through the country only to end up here. Florida. It was hot all the time, you always felt warm but it was distant enough from your past and you felt better about it. You decided that you wanted to rent a small place near the beach and so you found a woman named Roberta, that rented a few houses that fulfilled your wish. You didn’t think twice before accepting her deal.

You weren’t carrying anything on you except for the few clothes that you had bought on your journey so the move was quite simple. And you weren’t expecting to fit in so well here but the fact that as soon as you were settled a little girl, who was maybe 7 at the time, had come to you with a lot of questions that honestly you couldn’t answer warmed you up to the place real fast.

The fact that Mary had managed to always meet up with you but you still had to meet Frank was beyond you. She talked a lot about him “Frank did this today”, “oh did you know Frank let me adopt another cat”, “the first cat Frank got us was Fred, he has only one eye”, and so on. You knew more about him that you probably would by talking to him in person, according to Mary herself. She said he was very closed but had a great heart, she even told you the story about him fighting in justice for her guard. It only made you think he was a great guy who would do anything to protect his niece, and you were sincerely excited to meet him, give the person a face.

However, as it appears that his schedule was always all over the place and you always waking around town and spending many hours on the beach didn’t help with your meeting. You didn’t understand at first too how Mary always found you around, but she explained that whenever she wasn’t studying and Frank was going out with his girlfriend Boni, she stayed with her friend Roberta, who quickly became a good acquaintance of yours.

Either way, Mary had been talking to you for weeks when you finally met Frank. You couldn’t believe your eyes and genuinely thought you were delusional. He looked just like Steve, but the moment he started speaking you could see the differences between the two and the helped you find your foot again.

In the beginning you were hesitant about spending time with Mary and Frank, who surprised Mary with the news that he had gotten a more stable job. According to him, he still fixed boats but for a company that payed well. You were happy for him but the memories his face brought still made you want distance.

During the four years you traveled around you had let him go, all of him. You had been trough all the grief stages and learnt how to do well with your own company, you didn’t need anyone else. But looking at his face had the effect of hitting you with a sad resigned feeling and you didn’t like it. But Mary always spoke so highly of her uncle that you knew keeping your distance from both because of memories wasn’t fair.

Frank, of course notice that you never iniciantes any conversation with him and he wondered if Mary had introduced the same woman she said was talkative and affectionated. He asked you about it and it wasn’t until you answered with sincerity that he understood. Since then he was more careful in your presence which you appreciated.

With time though, you warmed up to him, he was a good guy you never doubted that. You became close friends and when him and Boni broke up you helped him. It was a mutual break up but it’s never easy.

You friendship was going great until you notice him treating you differently than he would before and you realised he was slowly catching feelings for you. Obviously being romantically involved with him was the last thing you wanted but you couldn’t bring yourself to change the way things were going between you two and that’s what led you to this moment.

In a car, dropping Mary off to her math club, with Frank by your side and the promise that it would be okay. It had to. You took so long to let him in that now you didn’t want to let go, and you doubt Frank wanted anything but stay. Bucky said the same when he came to visit you and Frank. You look at him and you see him smile at you.

“You think he’s gonna be a mini genius?” He asks looking at the small bump on your belly.

“If he gets MY genes, obviously” I sass laughing.

“Ha, you know the genius genes it’s on my side of the family Mrs. Adler” he chuckles.

“On your dreams” you smile. It you be okay.

[221bshrlocked]

VII. Needs

Pretend You Don’t See Her! Masterlist

Pairing: Mob!Sebastian Stan x Reader

Words: 4164

Warnings: Some angst, some swearing. SMUT!!! Wrap the dingaling my dudes please. Better safe than surprised. 

A/N: The smoot is here. Let me know how I’m doing in the comments please and maybe push that reblog button?? :D Thanks people!!

A familiar ringing pulls you from sleep and you groan when you feel the heavy source of heat move away from your back. Pulling the covers over your head, you turned around and finally realized where you were. As you peaked through the covers, you saw Sebastian holding the phone a little tightly, and you were sure whatever it was had to do with you because as soon as he sensed you were awake, he hissed angrily at Chris before ending the conversation. 

Before you could say anything to him, he was slithering under the covers and pulling you towards him again, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you as close to him as possible. You weren’t sure what this all meant and you hoped it wouldn’t come to an end any time soon because for the first time in forever, you felt like you belonged to someone and perhaps, someone belonged to you.

“Good morning,” you whispered against his neck and felt your stomach twist when you heard his hoarse, gravelly voice ring in your ears.

“Morning sweetheart,” his fingers wrapped around the back of your neck and squeezed, and you couldn’t help but shiver under his touch because you haven’t been awake for more than five minutes and he was already getting you hot and bothered from the simplest of actions. Sebastian, however, misunderstood your reaction to him and pushed himself away from you, his eyes frantically searching your face for any signs of discomfort. When you refused to look at him, he tilted your chin up and blinked confusingly at you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t- Y/N, I didn’t make you uncomfortable did I?”

It took you a few seconds to register his words and when you did, you felt a little bolder and trailed your hands down to his chest. Sebastian held his breath when he felt your fingers slide through the space between his shirt buttons, turning back to you again and swallowing shyly at your sudden moves. He trailed his eyes over your features, afraid your response to him was forced and not because you truly wanted him.

“Y-you did...but in a good way.” You focused on the skin peaking through his shirt, marvelling at how hard the buttons were fighting to stay closed. 

Sebastian didn’t know how to react to your words but then he felt you rub your thighs beneath the covers and realized that, yes, you did want him, perhaps even needed him to scratch that itch. Lord knows he’s been wanting to do the same ever since he saw you that fateful night. 

“Yeah baby? What way would that be?” He pushed one of his thighs between yours, smiling devilishly when you saw you shut your eyes and bite on your lower lip to suppress a moan.

“I- I think you know.” You didn’t want to meet his gaze, couldn’t if you actually tried. He was such a force to be reckoned with and you weren’t sure you’d be able to hold back from acting on your deepest desires should you find him as needy as you were. 

“Want to hear you say it...please sweetheart.” Sebastian allowed his hand to roam the expanse of your skin, pushing on your lower back and sighing heavily when he felt the heat of your center dragging against his slacks.

“Seb...please-” He was sure he died and went to heaven because even though he’d heard that nickname a million times before, it never sounded so angelic and soft as when it came from you. Before he can try to talk himself out of it, Sebastian was grabbing your hips and pulling your roughly against his thigh, trying his hardest not to blink so he wouldn’t miss a single second of you coming undone at his touch.

“Come on baby, you look so pretty like this...all needy and quiet and fucking heavenly...use me Y/N, use me however you want and drench me.” Sebastian wished you could open your eyes and look at him but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. A part of him was afraid you’d still run away from him, that this was all a dream his sick mind conjured up since last night. He didn’t want to let you go, wishing he could stay in this bed forever. For the first time in god knows how long, he felt like he was right where he belonged. He had his whole world in his arms, and nothing else mattered. His hands never let up, dragging you deliciously across his thigh and groaning when he felt your heat wet his pants. What he’d give to push you down and lick you dry until you couldn’t remember anything but his name.

“Goddamn- you’re the prettiest fucking sight in this world. Cum on me darling, cum on me and let me walk around with the scent of your sweet little cunt soaked into my skin. Mark me dragă mea! Atât de frumos. God baby, that’s it. C-cum...now!” 

You weren’t sure what it was that threw you over the edge, the way he whispered the filthiest things into the quiet room or when he spoke in what you assumed was his native language. Perhaps it was a mixture of that and the underlying meaning behind his words. He wanted you to mark him, he wanted to walk around with the scent of you on him. He thought you were the prettiest sight in this world and wanted you to use him for your own pleasure. It didn’t matter in the end because as you threw your head back and screamed his name over and over again, Sebastian leaned against you and kissed along your neck, biting harshly on your shoulder as he felt you shudder in his arms. 

He kept on pushing you down on him, wanting to prolong your pleasure if only to see you let go with him. In him.

When you did finally manage to catch your breath, you swallowed the lump in your throat before opening your eyes and looking at him. It should have terrified you, the way he was looking at you right now. He was feral, eyes dilated until there was barely any of the soft blue left in them. But he somehow looked soft as well, as if he was committing every inch of you to memory. You smiled at him and felt your heart skip a beat when he returned the expression, pulling you against him and kissing your forehead before removing his leg.

“I- uhh,” you struggled to form a coherent thought, mostly because you were still high on all the endorphins rushing through your bloodstream.

“Thank you.” Sebastian swiped your hair back and almost laughed when he saw the quizzical look you were throwing him.

“For giving me a chance to e-explain myself.” You could tell this was difficult for him, opening up and being vulnerable with someone else, someone he barely knew anything about.

“Can I ask about yesterday?” You kept your hand on his chest, hoping the skin contact would put him at ease.

“I- I can’t tell you everything just yet, but I do want to tell you why I said what I said yesterday. I won’t try to make excuses Y/N, because...as much as I hate to admit it, Chris was right. I could have handled this a lot better. But I want you to understand that I didn't mean those words. I swear on my life baby I would never...I could never say something like that to you.” He was breathing heavily and you knew the two of you needed some coffee before this conversation went any further. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Sebastian wasn’t sure if he’d heard you correctly and when you nodded at him with that lovely smile again, he knew this was it. You were it for him. 

“Yeah. How about we go freshen up and have some coffee and you can tell me whatever it is you can then? I- I won’t ask for details I swear, I only need to hear your side of things..just for- just so I know.” He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve you and he realized he needed to make this right before anything else happened. You were so easily forgiving with him when you didn’t have to be and in that moment, Sebastian knew he’d spend the rest of his life making sure he became the man you thought he was.

“That sounds good, yeah. I- okay.” He was never one to flush under someone’s gaze or become so nervous that he couldn’t form a proper sentence but you’d found your way into his heart and made him act like a teenager all over again. Surprisingly, Sebastian didn’t mind any of this, not when it was you that was breaking down his walls.

You sat up on your elbows and kissed his cheek, not waiting to see his reaction and jumping out of bed towards the bathroom. Sebastian held his cheek and looked at the closed door, grabbing his heart and sighing when he felt lighter than ever. Grabbing his phone, he made his way to the other guest room and freshened up, shooting a quick text to Chris as he descended the stairs to make some coffee. 

You, on the other hand, spent a few minutes looking at yourself in the mirror. What the hell just happened? Your eyes trailed down your form, smiling at the memory of his hands on your waist pulling you closer to him. 

But as happy as you were, you couldn’t help but think over the past twenty four hours. There was a lot to think over and evaluate, especially now that you knew Sebastian was a much more complicated man than he let on. But you had a feeling he’d be worth the hassle. 

Putting your hair up in a ponytail, you brushed your teeth and took a quick shower, allowing the hot water to wash away every insecurity brought about by last night. You were thankful you found some casual clothes in the dresser near the bed and smiled when you realized why Sebastian was reluctant to let you go with Chris last night. 

As you went down the stairs, you could hear Sebastian talking on the phone and made sure he heard you approaching him in case he didn’t want to say anything in front of you. When he held out the cup of coffee and continued his conversation, you felt relieved because true to his words, he did want to let you in on what happened and wasn’t trying to hide anything from you. He walked to the couch and hissed something into the speaker before turning to you and apologizing. You smiled and shrugged your shoulders, following him and sitting right next to him, almost chuckling at the way he seemed to grow nervous every time you touched his skin. 

“Hey uhh Chris, let me call you back. There’s this thing...I need to um, yeah.” At that you did laugh, apologizing when you heard Chris teasing him through the phone before he turned it off and threw it on the table.

“Sorry.”

“No no, you have nothing to apologize for. Chris just...it’s been a while since I’ve, since I grew close to someone. Someone like you.” The change in his behavior was endearing and you would have never guessed that such a dangerous alpha-kind-of-guy would act so shy in front of you of all people.

“I can move to the opposite side if-”

“NO. N-no, please stay here.” Sebastian grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards him, relishing at how you easily melted into his arms. 

“About yesterday-”

“Let me make this easier for you.” You cut him off, turning until you came face to face with him and you had his undivided attention. “I heard you talking with Chris yesterday so I know, I know where your mind went when you heard him talking about me. I can sort of understand how that must have looked and I don’t blame you. I really don’t work for him, and I hope you know that by now. I- I kinda got what this was all about, with that man I mean. I’m assuming he isn’t a friend and from the sounds of it, he had Aaron work for you so he could get some information on your business? Or your deals? I don’t know and honestly, I don’t think it’ll change anything so you don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to.” You held his hand in between your own, massaging his wrist and squeezing his fingers to put him at ease.

“He wasn’t feeding him information about my work, sweetheart. He was telling him about you.” Sebastian felt his chest tighten at your expression. You were so calm and collected and understanding and he wasn’t sure how you’d managed to be this sweet when, as far as he knew, you didn’t have a really nice life up to this point. But he wasn’t about to abuse your understanding either and against his better judgement, he went ahead and told you what last night’s issue was actually about. 

“Me? What do I have to do with anything? I’m nobody...I literally just started working for you.” Your little outburst shot straight to his stomach and it must have shown on his face because you found a way to move closer to him and place your hand on his chest. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to- it’s okay. Can you...do you mind explaining to me?”

“When I tell you it’s been a while since I’ve been with someone Y/N, I mean it. I can’t even remember the last time I went on a date. And- fuck, there’s a reason for that. The things that I’ve done, and- and what I do now...it’s dangerous for anyone to be with me. But I couldn’t stop myself with you. You were a surprise baby, a goddamn sweet surprise and for the first time since I was a kid, I wanted to be selfish. I wanted you, wanted to get to know you and take care of you and make sure you’re not in danger. I expected him to come after me after that night with you. I was in his territory and I had no business being there. I was so busy trying to get closer to you baby girl that I didn’t see what he was doing to try and get close to you. And I- fuck it if I didn’t see red yesterday and almost fucking killed him when he touched you. I- I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t want you to see this side of me this soon but I can’t not be honest with you. I swear on my life I didn’t mean what I said yesterday, I was afraid and stupid. Please...please give me another chance. I- we barely know each other but I need you, I need you like I need air and that fucking terrifies me but I don’t care. You’re it for me Y/N, don’t want anyone else. Never going to look at anyone else darling.” 

Sebastian’s voice broke and you weren’t sure how to react to any of what he said because as far as you could tell, that sounded a hell of a lot like a declaration of love and he was right. You barely knew each other and there was definitely a lot that was yet to be exposed. But you couldn’t shake away the feeling in your stomach, that same feeling that only grew over the past few days of interacting with him. You could tell he’s been through a lot more but was choosing to hold back for now and you hoped that the day would come where he’d trust you enough to tell you his story. 

You slowly got up and stood between his legs, looking into his eyes as you held out your hand and waited for him to take it before pulling him behind you. Sebastian wasn’t sure what you wanted of him so he decided to follow your lead and wait until you spoke your mind. You went up the stairs and occasionally looked at him, smiling to reassure him as you stood at the top of the stairs. You raised his hand to your lips and kissed his palm before pulling him to the room again. Sebastian was close to losing his mind, hoping he wasn’t misunderstanding your intentions and that the two of you had moved past this little bump in the road. 

You walked into the room and shut the door behind you, moving to the bed and softly pushing on his shoulders until he was sitting down at the edge of the mattress. As you leaned down to kiss his cheek, Sebastian wrapped his arm around you and kept you there until you wrapped your arms around his neck and moved to straddle him.

Sebastian reluctantly ended the kiss, shutting his eyes out of fear of looking at you and pushing you beneath him. 

“Baby, you don’t have to-”

“Shh, please Seb. Let me show you how much I lo- how much I care about you.”

Sebastian opened his eyes and looked at you, truly looked at you, and found something swimming in your eyes that he thought he’d never see again in his life.

Love.

You trace his eyebrows and lean forward to kiss one eye before slowly moving to the other, completely melting into him as he turns the two of you around and pins you beneath him on the bed. 

“You have no idea how much I want you Y/N.” Sebastian whispers as he begins to strip off his clothes, never once breaking eye contact as you mirror his movements and pull the shirt over your head. His hands begin to shake when he sees that you aren’t wearing anything underneath and almost loses his mind when you make quick work of the shorts and throw them away. 

“You’re a fucking dream baby, and I never want to wake up from it.” He aggressively pulls his shirt off and moves to unbutton his pants but you sit up in nothing but your panties and push his hands away, unbuckling his belt and undoing his slacks agonizingly slowly. 

“Shit, please…” He’s rubbing your shoulders and tilts your head up so you could look at him, almost falling over when you pull his pants down far enough to cup the bulge on his boxer briefs while smiling at him. Sebastian swallows the lump in his throat, no longer able to control himself as you continue to tease him. He abruptly pushes off the bed and slides both articles of clothing down his thick thighs, trying to hold back a proud smirk when he sees the way you react to seeing him.

“Seb,” you lay back down and open your legs, unable to hold back from moaning his name over and over again as he settles between your thighs and rocks against your clothed heat. 

“I feel like I’ve known you all my life,” he whispers to you, kissing your neck and holding onto your hands as he licks and nips at the flushed skin of your chest. You buck against him when he bites on your nipple and rolls the other one between his fingers. 

“I need you, Seb- please, we can do slow later. Just, fuck me already.” You aren’t sure how you’re saying any of this without wanting the earth to swallow you and you have a feeling it’s only because you’re with Sebastian and not some other man. He swears under his breath before rolling your panties down your legs and throwing them on the floor. 

“Wait fuck, I- I don’t have a condom.” You can sense a hint of panic rising in his chest and grab his cheeks so he could look at you.

“I...I want to feel you, all of you. Nothing in between us. Please.”

“Are you sure sweetheart? We can stop and-”

“I haven’t had sex in years. And I was tested right after my last...encounter.” You wished you were being awkward about this and you hoped he wasn’t thinking you were being too needy with him or misunderstand your words.

“I- neither have I.” Sebastian wants to ask so many questions but he realizes they would probably kill the mood should he voice them now so he shuts up and lowers his lips against yours, his stomach dropping when he feels your hand wrap around his cock before rubbing it against your slit.

“Shit baby you’re soaking. Haven’t even touched you yet.” He looks down to where you’re touching him and loses all train of thought when he sees how soft and almost innocent your hand looks squeezing and pulling him. 

“Oh god Seb you’ve no idea how much I’ve been thinking about you. Just- just looking at you in that suit makes me wet baby, I...fuck oh fuck that’s it.” He slowly inches inside you, groaning against your neck when he feels you clenching around him tightly as he bottoms out. 

“You’re- you’re perfect. Everything about you is perfect.” Sebastian can barely hold himself up, finding it harder to rely on his arms as you gyrate your hips and beg him to move. He pulls out and growls into the room when you cross your legs behind his back and forcefully push him back into you.

“God damn it, fuck. You tryin’ to kill me darling?” He’s sort of laughing, sort of begging his heart to beat so he doesn’t completely lose mind. But then he feels you digging your nails into his back and he lets go, pushing himself up and thrusting into you like a wild animal. You’re both panting and screaming each others’ names, and it takes Sebastian a few extra seconds to notice how you squeeze him a little bit harder when he talks to you in Romanian. He picks up the pace and rotates from swallowing your moans and sucking on your tongue to telling you how good you feel and how he can undoubtedly stay in between your thighs for hours. 

“Touch me Seb, t-touch me.” You throw your head back and rotate your hips violently against him when you feel the tips of his fingers rubbing furiously at your clit. He’s torn between staring at where you’re joined and committing your facial expressions to memory. Never in his life has he felt this physically and emotionally connected to someone and he swears again when he feels your cunt swallow him.

“Fuck, baby- look at me...l-look at me.” He takes hold of your cheeks and thumbs at your lips, not sure if he wants to kiss you until you’re breathless or bite you until you’re screaming his name.

Your hand leaves his back and grasps at his wrist. Sebastian is staring at you like he’s finally found his heaven and you cum around him just as he closes his lips softly around your lower lip. He hisses when he feels you contracting around him, fucking you through your orgasm to stretch out your pleasure and reach his own. 

“C-cum for me Seb,” the short request shoots straight to his heart and for a brief moment, Sebastian wonders if this is what it feels like to catch a bullet into his chest. It must be because his own release catches him off guard, the sheer force of it knocking out his strength and he falls on you as he continues to thrust his cum deep inside you. You’re shaking from how warm and full you suddenly feel, scratching his neck and whispering his name and telling him all kinds of sweet words as he comes down from his high. 

Sebastian slowly returns to himself a few minutes later and he barely manages to push off of you before falling onto his side. You’re looking at him like he’s your world and he’s close to tears but holds them back to not ruin the moment. He smiles at you when you move to face him and kiss his cheek. 

“You’re amazing.” He’s rubbing your neck and pulling you closer to him, bumping his nose with yours and laying out his arm so you could lay flush to him.

“You’re pretty amazing yourself.” You return the compliment and chuckle when he blushes at your words, hiding in the crook of your neck to hide his embarrassment. 

As the two of you drift to sleep, Sebastian realizes that no matter what happens now, he is going to try his hardest to become the man you think he is. A man that’s worthy of your adoration and who can one day be deserving of your love as well. 

Pretend You Don’t See Her: @feelmyroarrrr @yallneedtrek @talk-geek-to-me @lovecatystuff @scuzmunkie  @diablefatale @ayybtch @searchingforbuckyfavs @that-damn-girl @ruthyalva96 @pizzarollpatrol @calwitch @maybeisthemoon @metalarmsandmanbuns @saliarheva @becs-bunker @gogomez-509 @hailmary-yramliah @sycochick @evilxcupcakexnik @redgillan @dragonqueen0606 @sydthekid1518 @bbmommy0902 @honey-bee-holly @godohammers @mazarinqueen @ladifreakingda @duhh-danielly @buckysoldierstories @prettyboyswow @siana2208 @infinity-saga @g4y-lolita @clarissahaan @le-tha @booya--18 @superhero-missouri @i-stan-stuff @stuckyinamoose @this-is-serenaa @sweettangeriness @sergantbuckybarnes @cynic-spirit @bisoubarnes @som-iserem @krazykiara @buckys-estrella @clintbartonswifee @thesoftdumbass @marvelous-capsicle @2s0uls @kcd15 @bitchierrichie @paranjaperiyauniverse @romanosgirl1978 @iwillmakeyoucraveme @luckyfiction17 @bitterstar88 @lostinspace33 @niknoca @tumblstreets @minetticatinwonderland @the-endoftime @coraz0ndcristal @dancingalone21 @sweetlittlegingy @spideyxstan @calwitch @nerdy-bookworm-1998 @positionsfyou @poeta-nascitur @nevenabadr @tanyaherondale @brooke-supernatural16​

Sebastian Stan: @libbymouse​ @its--fandom--darling​ @princess76179​ @miraclesoflove​ @freeshavocadoooo​ @talk-geek-to-me​ @words-way-of-life​ @niall7inches​ @nevenabadr​ @atashi-no-yuuki​ @lostinspace33​ @planetariumx​ @brooke-supernatural16​ @leannawithacapitala​

[sweetjekyll]

25 Kisses — PCY

pairing: Park Chanyeol x Aquarius!OC / Reader (first pov) 

genre: birthday au, fluff, domestic life, established relationship, one shot rating: teen and up  warnings: slightly suggestive towards the end but it’s nothing worth tagging 18+  word count: ~1k 

summary: Birthday morning with one of your my favorite tall man

↳ MASTERLIST

A/N: today is my birthday and I’m finally 25! yay! this piece is 1st pov since I’ve been actually struggling to write any 2nd pov fic recently, since it’s also my birthday I thought I’d indulge myself just this once hehe. anyway, I hope you like it! I miss Chanyeol a lot lately, I hope this helps those who miss him too. ps: I’m not a native english speaker, I think I’ve mentioned this before, but there might be some errors, I did not proof read this!

⟶ To my dear readers: feedback is highly encouraged and important! as it gives me motivation to write with more passion, knowing that you like what you are reading. Please LIKE and REBLOG so more people can find this and read it. ❤ My askbox is always open for questions or to chat ❤

Enjoy! ❤

Mornings with him were my favorite, despite me hating mornings with a burning passion. I love waking up with his arm draped over me, to the warmth of his body pressed against mine and his soft breath tickling the skin on my neck and shoulder. It’s when I feel the most at peace and it makes me smile absentmindedly. Dreamland cannot compare to waking up in Park Chanyeol’s embrace.

The first kiss he gave me was a very sleepy one, pouty lips caressing my shoulder and slowly moving towards my neck, until he attacked with a loud smooch. Chanyeol knew about that spot just below my ear where I’m most ticklish, and he still went for it to watch me squirm and giggle in his arms, trying to get some distance between our bodies but he never lets me. In the end, I’m always pulled back against him under the bedsheets, until I kiss him back and greet him with a good morning.

“Good morning, beautiful.” It should’ve sounded like a whisper, but it was much deeper when he said it as he wore a content smile while looking back at me with those soft, breathtaking, black eyes.

“Had a good night’s sleep?” I nuzzled the tip of my cold nose in the crook of his neck, returning a kiss to his skin, which was much gentler than his.

“I always sleep well with you next to me…” One of his hands reached out from under the sheets to brush back the mess of hair that was covering my face and I looked up at him; my will to sleep was long gone despite having woken up before the alarm went off.

“That’s so cheesy, but I love it.” Huffing a bit ungracefully, I adjusted my position and laid on my belly, partially leaning against him. One arm was folded on top of his toned chest with my chin resting on top of it.

It appeared as if his smile got wider and brighter when our eyes met again. “Do you know what day it is?”

I furrowed my brows and averted my gaze, thinking hard, but my brain was still coming down from dreamland. It took me a long moment before I remembered, but I shook my head instead. “Why don’t you remind me?” A playful grin caught his attention… he knew me too well.

“Okay, close your eyes,” Chanyeol pointed a finger at me as he bit hit bottom lip, eyebrows slightly raised in a warning, “no peeking!” I did as he said and felt his body shift a little, I could hear his hand reaching out towards the nightstand on his side of the bed. I heard him opening a drawer followed by some rummaging a shuffling, his hand was outstretched so far and in an awkward position that I couldn’t help but peek with one eye. “Hey, I said no peeking!” His chest reverberated with a chuckle when he noticed one of my eyes open, looking in the direction of the drawer.

“Sorry!” I sat up on my knees and covered my face with both of my hands, to allow him take whatever he was looking for without being awkwardly twisted onto the bed. “It’s not like I can see a thing without my glasses on anyway!” I whined, yet still felt excited.

“Happy birthday, baby.” I felt his lips press on my forehead and I removed my hands to see what he had been looking for earlier. He held a black velvet jewelry box, but it was too big to hold a ring. Nonetheless, my mouth fell agape as my pupils darted from his eyes to the box he was holding out to me.

“Loey…” I couldn’t help but bring my hands to my chest and pout my lips in disbelief, tears clouded my eyes.

He quickly pouted his lips too at my reaction. “What— you haven’t seen it yet!” He reached out to gently hold one of my hands and brought it to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “Ready?” He opened the little box, making me gasp and giggle at the sight of a gorgeous golden necklace, the pendant had some tiny diamonds encased in an irregular design. “It’s our zodiac signs connected.”

I looked closer at the pendant and noticed that indeed it resembled two constellations, Sagittarius and Aquarius, blending with each other. The sight of such a thoughtful gift made even more tears rush to my eyes. The panicked expression in Chanyeol’s eyes was quickly replaced by a groan, after I threw my arms around his shoulders and held him close in a tight embrace, lulling him left and right gently. “Thank you, Loey, I love it so much!”

“Wait till you get my second gift!” Chanyeol’s words took me off guard and I looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“There’s more?” I shrieked wide eyed.

He swiftly stole a breathless kiss from me thanks to our close proximity and nodded. “Twenty-five kisses for my love turning 25 today…” mischief was back in those dark eyes of his, yet still shining a joyful light, “And so far I believe I’ve only given you six.” He suddenly snaked his arms behind my back and laid me back down in bed, laughter feeling the intimacy of the room at the crack of dawn.

“When did you start counting them?!” Yet the question was long forgotten after his lips found mine once more, but they didn’t stay there for long…

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

Not Everything Is What It Seems

Prompt: Y/N finds herself in a quite scary scenario with a stranger(is he tho?) Samoan in her bedroom (I know it’s a shitty preview that I just gave but I don’t wanna ruin the story ok?! Hahaha)

Word count: I honestly lost the count,but it’s long-ish

Pairing: Roman Reigns/Reader

Warnings:+18,smut,consensual non-consensual,name calling,light bondage,slight degradation and slight chocking,oral male(receiving),oral female (receiving).I think that’s it??!!

Notes: Ok,so I’m really nervous about posting this! It’s my first ever fanfic so please be nice to me??! Also I just wanna put it out there that I’m not a English native speaker so I apologize in advance for any misspelling also my writing English is a little rusty so you know,give your girl sometime to adjust hahahaha.I love reading the amazing fanfics about Roman that some of the lovely ladies around here write and I thought with myself “why not,right?!” Even tho I know that my writing will NEVER be as good as theirs,but you know I was bored and had the scenario on my mind for a while now,so here you go and I really hope you can enjoy it!😘

I woke up to the strange feeling of something heavy around my hips.As my brain started to slowly get off from it’s slumber I started to search for whatever had disturbed my sleep,the bedroom was still dark and the only lighting source came from the digital watch at the night stand.

“1:44 a.m.” I sighed “You have got to be kidding me!”. I slowly moved my hand to turn on the bedside lamp so I could have some light in the bedroom,when I notice that something was restricting my moves.”What the hell?!” I thought to myself. I started to tug at my arms when I notice they were bound to the headboard.”Oh God please let this be a nightmare!” I silently prayed to whom ever was listening.Then suddenly I notice a large manly figure seated on a chair near my bedroom door.”I knew I should’ve not let Amber tell me all about those freaking shadow man stories she saw on the intern..” My train of thoughts stopped when I saw that figure get up from the chair,and slowly but firmly,walk towards my bedside lamp..

*Flick*

“You know,you got me scared for a moment there,I was beginning to think that I had put it too much chloroform on the rag.”

My eyes were still adjusting to the light so I heard him before I could see him,and when my eyes finally found the large Samoan man owner of that deep voice,my brain got numb and my jaw dropped.

“What the actual fuck are you doing here?Why did you tied me to the bed? Are you going to kill me? You son of a bitch!I knew I should never have talked to you,shouldn’t have trusted you!Everybody told me you were a sick pervert but this??”I yelled.Before I could continue,one of his large hands covered my mouth and he leaned in so his voice was just a whisper.

“Now you listen to me Y/N,and you listen very carefully.I let you have your little fury attack but now that’s enough! I don’t take shit from no one,so you better watch your mouth and choose your words very well ‘cuz you might regret them!”He let out a dark low growl that gave me goosebumps.

“The first time I laid eyes on you,the very first thing that caught my attention were your lips.Lightly stained with a beautiful cherry red color”.He removed the hand that was covering my mouth,and started to stroke my lips with his thumb.”You looked so beautifully innocent,so sweet...but at the same time there was this mischievous sparkle in your eyes,that gave a glimpse of your true colors.The woman every men wants..The sweet innocent little angel on the outside,”He stopped caressing my lips,and placed his fingers around my neck,applying just enough pressure to make me feel dizzy.”But the the most dirty,filthy,useless little fuck toy on the inside”. He released the pressure around my throat so I could breathe properly,but he continued to hold my neck up to prevent me from looking down.

“Aren’t you baby? Tell me,if you aren’t my sweet little fuck toy?!.”My eyes started to tear up,given the primal fear I was feeling.”What’s the matter baby girl?Are you gonna cry?Aww my poor innocent girl.”He chuckled.”Don’t worry baby, I will fuck that innocence out of you,and after I’m done,you will thank me!”He got up from the bed,went to my beauty vanity and reached for the top drawer where I stored my false lashes,eyelash glue and...Oh no,the scissors!

“Please,please don’t do this to me..”.My voice was just a faint whisper as the tears now begin to run down my cheeks.”If you let me go I promise you I won’t even press charges,just please let me go..If you need money I’ll give it to you,just please I beg you!Don’t to this to me,please don’t kill me..please...”I could see the cloth scissors on his hand.When he reached the bedside again he dropped to his knees and leaned his face to mine.

“Kill you? Oh no baby,I could never kill you! I’m just taking what is mine.” And with that he got up and cut my baby doll off leaving me naked on the bed.”So fucking gorgeous!You’re so much better than I have imagined!” With that he roughly kissed my lips,but when I didn’t open my mouth to let his tongue slip through,he stopped his actions pull my hair hard enough to make me look up towards his gaze and said.

“We can do this your way or my way baby girl...my way we both get fun,your way only I get the fun.Either way this IS going to happen.”That’s when I notice he had already stripped his clothes,leaving on only his boxer briefs.”Wether you want it or not...now just to prove my point..”He pushed down his briefs just enough so his dick could spring free.*Oh my god he’s huge!There’s no ways in hell he’s gonna* My thoughts got cut off when I felt the grip in my hair tighten and him bring my head down towards his cock,the action surprised me,making me gasp giving him the opportunity he needed to slide his cock inside my mouth.”C’mon baby girl,that’s it.Take everything baby..Oh fuck,so fucking good”.Being restrained to the bed and having his hand around my hair with a ferocious grip pushing me down towards his cock made me feel powerless,like there wasn’t much I could do,and I was too tired to fight him back so I just gave in,and when I did he suddenly stopped and forced me to look at him.

“So we’re doing this my way then huh?”He chuckled.”Good,that’s what I had planned from the beginning.”

He let go of my hair and went to the foot of the bed,kneeled down and started to kiss my inner thighs.

“You know how long I’ve been waiting for this?Do you know how many times I have jack off thinking about this moment? Do you know how many times I came on my hand wishing it was your pussy instead?”.He locked eyes with me while his hand reached to my pussy and he started to slowly rub my clit in gentle but firm circles,just applying the perfect amount of pressure on it.”Do you know baby how many times I’ve imagined,what it would be like having you scream my name?Do you know..how many times I wondered what do you taste like..”And with that he buried his head between my legs.His tongue worked on my pussy like some kind of evil black magic,so good,so insanely good...I’ve had my fare share of partners but no one ever ate me out like that man was doing.And for a moment I forgot all he had done to me,the fear he made me feel and I just gave in to the pleasure.

“Oh please...please just fuck me..” I moaned,in a voice so rough with lust that it didn’t even sounded like my own.”Please I need you inside of me,I need your cock stretching me out,please I beg you..” I didn’t even felt that his tongue had stopped working on me,or that he was now kneeled between my thighs.”Please I need..” That’s when I felt the hard deep thrust he gave and oh my,he entered me so harshly,and I could feel him so deep that I honestly thought I was going to pass out.

“Fuck!You’re so fucking tight,I can’t even move”.He said,his face expression of pure bliss and pleasure that I could only stare at him in awe.

“Just so perfectly wet,fuck!”.As he continued to praise how good I felt around him,his eyes were glued to the vision of his cock disappearing inside my pussy.

“Harder,please”.I begged.

“I’m not gonna last much longer baby girl if I go harder,and I wanna savor this moment,I’ve waited for so long after all!”He gave me one of his lazy smiles and I knew that I would cum at any minute now.

“I’m begging you,please just fuck me harder.I need it! Just ruin me please!” I whimpered.

“Fuck” He growled. “I want you to scream my name when you cum,do you hear me?!”He yelled

“Yes,I will!Just please fuck me harder.”With that his grip on my hips became so vigorous that I knew they would be bruised up by morning.He fucked me so hard,so deep and so rough that the only thing I could do was scream.When I felt my orgasm building up,so fast,I whimper a faint “Please”.

When he noticed he said”You better make sure you scream my name when you cum baby,so the whole neighborhood hears who’s cock is making you feel so good.” And those words were the final push over the edge and I came screaming “Oh Roman,Roman,Roman...”

“Oh fuck baby,Y/N.” He came inside of me with a loud growl,and he thrusted into me slower and slower till we came down from our high.

My mind was still on a post orgasm mode when I felt he softly slide out of me,sit on the bed by my side,grab the cloth scissors from the night stand and cut the ropes freeing my wrists and slowly rubbing them to soothe the numbness limbs.Then he stroked my hair softly and asked.

“Y/N,baby?Are you ok?Was I too rough to you love?” I couldn’t help but smile to him,Roman was always like this,so kind,loving and caring.That’s why I was surprised when he agreed on this roleplay.

“I’m more than ok babe,you were perfect”I cupped his bearded cheek.”As you always are!”

He gave me one of his one million dollars smile and leaned in to kiss my lips in the most tender way.

“Well I’m glad to hear that!”He chuckled.”You know,at first, I was a little insecure about this whole consensual non-consensual roleplay thing, I was afraid I was gonna hurt you..but I must say baby,that was one of the most hottest things we’ve ever done together”He laugh.

“Oh see,I told you you were gonna like it!”Now was my turn to laugh.”But seriously Ro,that’s why I wanted to do this with you.Because I trust you,and I know that you could never hurt me,not even if you try it!” I pulled him in for a kiss which he happily accepted.

“I’m glad you think this way baby girl,because”He slowly squeezed my ass.”I’m already starting to have ideas for our next roleplay...” He smiled devilish to me and I couldn’t help but think,what was going on inside that sick lovely mind of my husband?!...

[fanfics-of-marvel]

Tony dies and Natasha is devastating by her boyfriend’s death until he comes back as an angel with beautiful wings. I keep things simple so your creativity isn’t withheld. Love your work!

Hello @chuckshurleyfucks

Remember me? You sent me this really great prompt so long ago and I am really sorry this comes after so much time! :( I don’t have much time to write and often I’m away from tumblr for some time. But I told myself that I’ll finish each and every request in my inbox NO MATTER WHAT and I fianlly had the chance to write yours. :)

I really hope it resembles what you desired to read and I can only hope it was worth the wait!

------------------------------------------------

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Release date: 21/04/21

Pairing: Tony Stark x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Tony dies in an accident and Natasha is devastated. After the funeral, however, she has an unexpected meeting with him.

Words count: 3 139

A/N: I guess I could call it a magical AU :)

Warnings: None, maybe a little bit of angst

Requests | Masterlist

I’m not a native English speaker, so there might be spelling or grammatical mistakes.

This fic is my own work, it is not to be re-posted on this site or posted anywhere else without my knowledge and consent!

------------------------------------------------

“Tony Stark was a great man,” Rhody’s voice echoed in the capacious room in the Avengers Headquarters. “Despite being Tony Stark”.

Laughter rose among the attendants. Natasha smiled, too. For the first smile since the accident.

A picture of Tony himself filled the giant screen behind Rhody. He turned around and looked at his best friend. Nobody could see but his eyes were watery. Rhody turned back to the crowd.

“Is it me or was his head actually this size?” he said as he pointed at the enormous photo of Tony projected on the wall.

Everyone laughed again. Even louder than before. Natasha’s smile was even bigger.

‘Oh, it was,’ she thought to herself.

After the ceremony was over Natasha retired to their room. She closed the door behind her and leaned upon its massive structure. She stared at the empty bed with an even emptier gaze. It looked bigger now.

Natasha waddled to the wardrobe. She pushed the door and walked inside an even bigger room. The lights turned on automatically. It was Tony and Natasha’s private wardrobe. She walked to the hangers holding Tony’s suits. Natasha slowly slid her hand upon one of them and closed her eyes. She pictured her loved one in it on Wanda and Vision’s wedding. He was smiling, he was laughing, life was flowing through his veins.

‘Congratulations,’ he had said hugging the newlywed couple.

‘Thank you, Mr. Stark’, Vision had replied. ‘Perhaps, sir, now it is your turn,’ he had added nodding towards Natasha.

Tony had looked at his girlfriend across the garden with twinkling eyes. ‘Perhaps, it is,’ he had whispered heard only by the bride and groom.

Natasha opened her eyes and a tear slid down her face. Her skin was still moist from all the preceding crying. She let the tear flow down freely. Its final destination was on her bosoms.

Natasha walked towards another suit. She held it with both her hands and shove her face at it. She took a deep breath and breathed in the leftover aroma from Tony’s perfume. He wore this suit just a week ago. As Natasha sniffed the fabrics she could hear Tony speaking.

“All just for you, my love,” he said while unfolding the blindfold upon Natasha’s eyes.

“Tony,” she gasped at the view of the beautifully decorated gazebo in the garden surrounded by flowers and burning candles.

It was a hot summer night. The air was filled with the sweet scent of the flowers. The discreet light of the candles provided perfect view of the stars above them. Crickets played a lovely concerto.

“Tonight it’s just you and me,” Tony said with tenderness and he literally meant it for the waiters were a few droids from his Iron Legion.

The night was going as planned and Tony knew there was only one final thing missing to make it perfect.

“Nat,” he said holding Natasha’s hands. “There is something I want to ask you. But you need to close your eyes.”

Natasha curved her lips in a smile and closed her eyes. She suspected what was to follow but it still took her by surprise.

“You can open them now,” Tony said with noticeable nervousness in his voice.

Natasha opened her eyes and a specific reflected light crossed her eyes. She looked down and saw the most beautiful diamond upon a ring. Her eyes met with Tony’s. They were sparkling even brighter than the diamond.

“Nat, will you marry me?”

Natasha sobbed. She had taken the ring box out of the internal pocket of the suit jacket. She opened it and looked at the ring. It seemed even more beautiful now. Out of fear not to lose it she kept it there safe during their final mission.

Natasha let it all out. The most gruesome sound exited her. Tears were falling down her face. She leaned towards the wall and slowly slid down. She was panting. The memory was too strong, too vibrant. She laid down completely squeezing the ring box at her chest. She closed her eyes and heard the bombarding again.

Two days ago Tony and Natasha were on what seemed to be nothing more than a routine mission. There was a minor terrorist attack just outside the city in which a small group of people threw grenades and shot at the nearby houses, stores, and cars. Agents of Tony and Natasha’s class weren’t needed at all but Tony had a thing against terrorists, so he couldn’t miss destroying some more. Natasha had joined him in the last moment. She always said he needed her back up, especially on the ground. Besides, she loved watching her future husband kicking ass in his latest Iron Man suit.

Natasha was smiling playfully as she observed Tony far up in the sky threatening the puny terrorists on the ground. His voice could be heard loud and clear even down there thanks to a special technology which he had recently developed. The three men seemed terrified and were yelling some words in Arabic, their arms were in the air and they dropped their weapons.

‘Easy peasy’, everyone thought at this view. The S.H.E.I.L.D. agents were looking at Tony with admiration wishing they had what he had and hoping that someday they’d possess at least half of Tony’s authority.

Natasha was smiling smugly and was already packing her ‘toys’ which she obviously wouldn’t need during this mission when she heard it. Loud thundering sounds coming from very near. She quickly looked around trying to figure out where did the sound come from. But before she managed to make a full turn the wave from the explosions threw her few meters behind. For a moment sand and dirt fell all over her face. A high-pitched noise rang in her ears. Her head felt heavy and dizzy, the world around her was spinning.

An impenetrable fog of sand and dust surrounded Natasha. The only thing she could perceive was the distant thunders of bombing and shooting. Except that it wasn’t distant. It was right there, so very close to her but her hearing was impaired. So when she heard that raw gruesome sound of metal hitting the ground hard she hadn’t whatsoever realized it was Tony himself. Natasha closed her eyes and felt completely senseless.

When she finally opened her eyes the world was still spinning but the high-pitched sound was getting weaker. Natasha couldn’t know how long she’d been on the ground unconscious.

‘Ambush,’ she thought to herself as she groaned trying to get up. Her legs were really unstable but somehow she managed to remain standing.

“Tony,” she tried to speak but barely any sound came out of her lips.

The sound of the bombing had seized. Now she could hear some distant noise of people screaming and could distinguish silhouettes running around.

“Tony!” Natasha shouted as loud as she could. The sound was still very quiet but she started to regain her senses.

The more Natasha walked towards those people, the better she could hear and see. The fog was clearing up and everything hitherto shapeless started to fall into pieces.

“Agent Romanoff, are you alright?” Natasha noticed a fellow S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in front of her.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. What happened? Where’s Tony?”

“There was an ambush, ma’am,” the man continued speaking. “After those three terrorists seemed to be surrendering there was whole artillery that appeared out of the blue hiding underneath enormous canvases that had perfectly blended with the landscape. They hit us unexpectedly, ma’am. They threw bombs, grenades and every hellish explosive you can think of,” the man stopped talking as if there was something more which he just didn’t want to say.

“Well, where’s Tony, then?” Natasha was persistent. There was no getting out of this.

The man sighed. The dust had almost completely settled, so Natasha could see his face quite clearly. There was something bad written in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, agent Romanoff,” the man finally said pointing away in a direction to her right.

Natasha followed his finger and with terror noticed the Iron Man suit lying on the ground in a little crater.

“Tony!” Natasha shouted and ran towards him.

Due to the shock from the explosions her legs and balance were still compromised, so she tripped and fell two times until she managed to get to Tony. He was lying on his back but from the traces of the impact it was clear that he hadn’t fallen that way and had been moved from the agents.

A paramedic was examining him as Natasha walked near. Her facial expression and eyes showed fear. The strongest fear she had ever felt in her entire life. Abruptly, her whole body started trembling, she couldn’t catch breath and tears flew down her face.

Tony was lying in his forcefully opened Iron Man suit covered in blood and bruises. She could barely recognize his face which seemed twisted now. The suit had absorbed part of the impact but he had fallen from a great height.

The paramedic was looking down shaking his head. A defibrillator lied near him obviously recently used. His colleague took a deep breath and then Natasha heard the worst words in her entire life.

“Time of death,” said the second paramedic and looked at his watch. “1:03 p.m.”

“No!” Natasha screeched so loudly that the two paramedics jumped startled. They hadn’t noticed her presence beforehand.

She gathered a whole lot of looks from other agents, as well. Some of which were also still unaware of the tragedy.

“Tony,” Natasha barely made a sound as she fell on her knees next to his dead body. Tears were falling down her face and she could barely breathe.

The two paramedics discreetly recoiled. They had to take care of the body but also knew they had to give Natasha a moment.

She gently placed her hands upon his distorted face. His blood was already drying but his skin was still warm. So warm as if he was still alive. Could it be that the paramedics were wrong? Natasha slowly slid her right hand and felt his carotid. No pulse.

Why had they given up? Natasha examined more of Tony’s body. There were noticeable fractures on his chest and abdomen. He definitely had broken ribs and most likely suffered from a punctured lung for his chest was purple and bloody. Some of the blood upon his face had surely flowed from his mouth.

There was no doubt. Tony Stark was dead and the tries of the paramedics had been unsuccessful.

“Agent Romanoff,” the paramedic spoke. “I’m really sorry but we need to take the body. It’s the protocol,” he paused for a moment. “You can see his body again at the mortuary.”

Natasha knew the protocol very well. She had followed it a little too many times with fellow agents. And she always kept in mind she might have to follow it with Tony, as well. Or he with her. She had always hoped for the latter one. As cruel as it sounded to prefer to cause Tony such pain she hoped she’d never have to live it herself because she would be the dead one.

“Goodbye, Tony,” Natasha quietly said and kissed his forehead.

Then she got up and walked away. She heard the team preparing to take his body. She kept on walking and never looked back.

Natasha looked at the ring. It dispersed the light from the ceiling so beautifully that the entire wardrobe was shining bright. She hadn’t put it on ever since she took it off for their final mission together.

With trembling hands Natasha took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger. She was much calmer now. The tears upon her face had started drying. She remembered about the dinner on which he proposed to her. A smile appeared on her face. It was sad that Tony was gone but it was a virtue to have had him in her life.

“Natasha,” a barely perceptible sound.

Natasha looked up and around her. She thought she heard a noise but assumed it was nothing.

“Natasha,” there was it again. This time a little louder.

“Who’s in there?” she asked confused and a little concerned. Nobody else had access to their bedroom. “Rhody, is that you?” she got up and walked towards the wardrobe’s door. The sound seemed to be coming from the bedroom.

“Natasha,” this time she heard it more clearly.

She stopped sharply right at the door. The voice sounded like Tony’s. Her eyes got watery and her breathing stopped for a moment. Could it be?

“Nat,” he said again this time very clearly. “It’s me.”

There was a very bright white light coming from the bedroom. Natasha slowly walked out of the wardrobe. She gasped and dropped the ring box.

Tony was floating in the air just above their bed bathed with beautiful heavenly light. He was dressed in all white and behind him there were big beautiful angel wings. Even though Tony was being Tony Natasha had always known that he was just like this on the inside – a beautiful angel.

“Tony?” she said with trembling voice.

“Hello, my love.” Tony spoke with a tender and soothing voice.

Natasha’s lower lip trembled. She never thought she’d see him again.

“Tony? Is that really you?” she asked with a hoarse voice.

“Yes, my love. It’s me,” Tony replied with a gentle smile.

Natasha shook her head. This all must have been an illusion. She assumed it was the shock and all of the emotions from the past week which were playing with her mind. Or perhaps she had fallen asleep in the wardrobe.

“Come here,” Tony said as he floated down and stepped on the floor facing her. He outstretched his hands and gently placed them at the sides of her face.

Natasha shuddered at the touch. It felt so real. She lifted her hands as well. Tony’s face was warm again.

He leaned down and gently kissed her lips. Natasha’s knees felt weaker.

“How is this possible?” Natasha asked after Tony moved away.

“The ring,” Tony said as he took her hand in his. “It’s a very special stone. It’s connected to my soul.”

Natasha gasped. How?

“More magical things than Doctor Strange exist on this world,” Tony said wittily. “And I got my hands on this,” he pointed at the stone upon the ring. “As long as you wear it I will always know where you are, I will always feel you, and I will always be your guardian angel.”

“I want you back, Tony,” Natasha said with hope.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible, Nat,” a bitter smile.

Not the reply she wanted to hear.

“But I will always be with you,” Tony said gently fondling her cheek. “I will be a barely perceptible presence. Always there next to you, just one breath away. You might sometimes spot me with the corner of your eye. But you will never be able to see me,” tears fell down Natasha’s face. “You will always be showered in my heavenly light. And you will always be protected by my angel wings,” Tony held her left hand. “As long as you wear the ring,” he smiled softly.

Natasha looked down at her hand gently placed in Tony’s. His skin was so warm, so alive. She had to check. Her right hand slid upon his wrist. Her fingers found the spot.

Nothing.

Tony had no pulse.

“Oh, my love,” Tony whispered softly.

Natasha’s whole body was trembling. Her hand did another check-up.

Strong lively heart rate. Slightly accelerated.

“If I take my pulse away will I be able to be with you?” she stammered in tears.

“Oh, Nat,” Tony sighed. “Great things await you. The world needs your protection.”

“The world needs your protection.”

Tony fondled her face again. “The only one who needs my protection is you.”

“But I want you here with me,” Natasha burst into tears. “Next to me, all of the time. Fighting beside me, kissing me, loving me,” she was falling apart. “Please, Tony,” Natasha wrapped her arms around him and shove her face at his chest weeping.

Tony placed his hands on Natasha’s head as his wings surrounded her. Natasha calmed down in an instant. She felt completely relaxed and balanced. There was warmness and peace.

Natasha placed her ear next to Tony’s chest. But it was an empty chest. There was no treasure for her in there.

“Nat, stop searching for my heart here,” Tony said. “You know it’s there,” he placed his fingers upon her chest. “I gave it to you long time ago. And it’s where it will always be.”

Natasha felt warmness in her chest. For a moment it seemed like there were two hearts beating as one. She smiled gazing into Tony’s eyes. She didn’t want this moment to end.

“Now you need some sleep,” Tony said and holding Natasha’s hand he pulled her towards the bed.

“I don’t want to go to sleep. That means time not spent with you,” Natasha objected.

“Shhh, my love,” Tony gently placed his finger upon her lips. “I’ll be right next to you.”

He laid down on one side and his angel wing was spread on the bed. Natasha joined him and lied upon it. He embraced her with his arms and then with his wings. It took her seconds to fall asleep perfectly calm and relaxed feeling completely protected for the first time in her life.

When Natasha woke up the next morning she was alone on the bed. There was no trace of Tony. She looked at her left hand. The ring was there reflecting the light just as beautifully. She wondered about last night. Did it all happen or was it a dream? She assumed it was the latter and got out of bed. She had fallen asleep with clothes on and smutched make-up. She needed a shower.

Just as Natasha was about to walk in the bathroom she spotted a barely perceptible presence with the corner of her eye. She turned around startled but didn’t see anybody. Her breathing quickened. She rubbed her eyes assuming it was sleepiness and tiredness.

When Natasha calmed down she could swore she felt somebody else’s breath at the side of her face. She felt calm and relaxed. There was a warm feeling surrounding her. She slid her hands at the sides of her arms sinking in the feeling and closed her eyes. Her right hand touched her chest. Two hearts beating as one.

Natasha smiled. She opened her eyes and stared into the nothingness in front of her. There was something she could spot with the corner of her eye. A barely perceptible presence watching over her as her guardian angel.

------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! If you liked it please react - reply/like/reblog! Your support is appreciated!

This fic is my own work, it is not to be re-posted on this site or posted anywhere else without my knowledge and consent!

[cranesofibycus]

I'm not sure what ur cr otp is but do That one! I'm curious!

Right. Widojest. 

when I started shipping it if I did: 

"I run over and give Caleb a kiss on the cheek!”  I watched Caleb go quiet for a good twenty seconds... a little head shake, lots of swallowing and blinking and trying to shake himself out of that feeling. Twenty seconds. And then I went back and watched it again. Another twenty seconds. And with every second that ticked by I was dragged deeper and deeper into the pining purgatory of the Widojest hell.

my thoughts:

I mean... there are just too many. I adore this ship with my whole heart. I love how it has developed. I love how their relationship has impacted both Caleb and Jester. I love how they can be soft and quiet with each other. How they easily open up to each other while still being so concerned about what the other person might think of them. This kind of ship can only really happen in a ttRPG, where every moment gives the characters a chance to show their feelings in the smallest, most subtle way. There is a Widojest moments document that is pages and pages and pages long, because Caleb and Jester keep saying loud and clear - with every of their gestures towards each other - I care deeply for you! Where else can we watch love be expressed in these small, hidden ways over hours and hours of two people’s lives? Yes, there are big moments and smaller ones, but for me their love lives in the little smiles and stolen glances. It lives in Jester making Caleb laugh and Caleb offering to watch her dog. It lives somewhere between a healing spell and a comprehend language spell. Somewhere between divine and arcane, blue and red, fire and ice.

What makes me happy about them: 

They are friends! They have fun together, and they have shared moments of grief and of triumph, of sadness and joy. I love it when their personalities clash a little. When Jester’s spontaneity crashes into Caleb’s love for organization.   

What makes me sad about them:

*gestures vaguely at fandom* 

The ship has been under a constant bombardment of hate from various sides since long before Liam’s confirmation on Talks. This has driven a few lovely wj shippers offline and has caused some other wj shippers to fight back at the same annoying volume, neither of which has made shipping widojest more enjoyable. Most of my widojest thoughts are now my own, offline, and will stay my own. I’m breaking that promise to myself a little with this post ;)  

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

As with all fic featuring Caleb: non-native speakers using German is mostly yikes. 

things I look for in fanfic:

Veth being an integral part of how they get together or their lives as a couple. 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

As always: I completely trust Liam and Laura with the decisions they make on behalf of their characters. 

My happily ever after for them: 

Gosh, this is hard. Because I’m not sure there can be one. My happily ever after would be a Jester who finds her place in the world and finds the confidence in her own voice and her own desires. Ans it would be a Caleb who can make his peace with his trauma and his past and who believes himself to be worthy of love. Be that Jester or anyone else. (Also, a Nicodranas cliff-side wedding with Veth as Jester’s maid of honor, Beau as Caleb’s best man and Frumpkin as ring bearer)  

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Jester starts out as the little spoon most nights, but they often wake up with her as the big spoon. 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

If both of you can turn into giant eagles... why would you not always do that to do some fun flying around?

[youreacowgirllikeme]

After Class

note: so, I wasn’t really able to get that image of Jake as a college/university professor out of my head and this kind of happened, idk if it qualifies as an AU but anyway, here is Professor!Jake for you

(sorry for the grammar, non-native speaker here)

warnings: professor-student relationship, swearing, smut (fingering, oral), nsfw

“Shit, shit , shit.”

You ran through the empty hallways towards the lecture hall, the old clock on the wall telling you what you already knew: you were late, almost 20 minutes. And just because you overslept after working on that essay for your political history class till 4 am last night.

Professor Tapper would be so mad, he absolutely hated unpunctuality. Just the thought of him being angry or disappointed with you made you quicken your step even more, because Jacob Tapper was the very man you desperately tried to impress more than anyone else.

He usually worked as the lead political correspondent for CNN down in Washington DC, but, as he stated at the start of his first lecture, decided to take a sabbatical after the 2020 election, using the time to teach at his alma mater as a guest Professor.

He was brilliant, a walking history encyclopedia and was considered to be one of the sharpest political minds of the generation. His lectures were the perfect mix of both of those subjects, and he was throwing in a lot of his journalistic expertise as well. You admired him and truly enjoyed having him as your Professor. And you would’ve loved nothing more than to take in every single brilliant thing he said. But there was one tiny problem.

Because above all, he was hot. Like, please-bend-me-over-your-desk-after-class-hot. That very fact was often making it incredibly hard for you to pay attention to what he was saying, so you spent your lessons staring at his back, his hands, his face from the last row, letting his deep, smooth voice wash over you.

Even if he was more than 20 years older than you, you really had it bad for him, which was one of the reasons you lost sleep every night. That, and his very demanding curriculum.

Out of breath, you finally arrived at the doors of the lecture hall, opening them as quietly as possible, trying to sneak into the room without anyone taking notice of you.

“How nice of you to finally join us, Ms. Y/L/N“

Shit. He had noticed you.

And as you looked to where he was standing in front of the class you could see a deep frown on his handsome face.

He was, as usually, impeccably dressed, wearing a dark blue suit and his glasses, which were a personal weakness of yours.

It took a small cough from one of your classmates for you to stop staring at Professor Tapper and actually addressing him instead of undressing him with your eyes.

“I am so sorry for being late, Sir, it certainly won’t happen again.“ you stammered, feeling like you might faint from the embarrassment of the situation.

"I will certainly hold you to that. Still, come and see me after class to discuss this, please.“ he said, his stern voice and intense stare making your heart almost burst out of your chest.

He turned to the blackboard again, continuing to talk about McCarthyism, his deep voice carrying effortlessly through the lecture hall.

You were still beyond embarrassed that he called you out like that, and even more so because it was very likely that he caught you staring at him. You hastily made your way to the nearest free seat, fortunately this was a Dartmouth senior class and not Highschool, so there were no snickers or silly comments, you didn’t draw much attention.

You spent the remainder of the lesson trying to focus on the actual topic instead of how broad your professors shoulders looked in that tailored suit jacket, or how perfectly styled his grey hair was. Unsurprisingly, you had no success as your mind wandered even further down the dangerous path of attraction you had for Professor Tapper, thinking about the things those long, elegant fingers holding the chalk could do to you or what dirty words he could whisper against your skin with this sinful voice of his.

You were so caught up in your inappropriate daydreaming that you totally missed your Professor ending the lecture and dismissing your classmates.

You heard your name being called, and looked up, startled. Professor Tapper was standing right in front of your desk, arms crossed in front of his chest, staring down at you with an unreadable expression.

“We definetly need to talk about your attitude regarding this class, Ms. Y/L/N. Not only have you been late for the fourth time this month, your participation is severely lacking, to put it mildly. I...I don’t get it.” He said, his voice staring to get louder. He ran his hand through his hair, looking exasperated.

“Your submitted papers are extraordinarily good, your analysis is always spot on, and you find a way of comprehending the topics that no one of your classmates seem to grasp. And yet you spend each one of my lessons not paying attention, you’re not able to awnser any questions and you never partake in discussions. What is the matter? Am I boring you?“

He grew more agitated with each sentence, now leaning onto your desk with both arms and staring directly at you. If he only knew how far from bored you were in his class.

You felt like you were frozen, held in place by the way his eyes were looking straight into yours. His fingers were gripping the edge of your desk now, it took everything in you not to stare at the veins on the back of his hand. And, worst of all, you felt a blush starting to creep up your neck. You couldn’t get a single word out.

“I asked you a question, Ms. Y/L/N.” there was sincere anger evident in his voice now.

„I’m...I’m so sorry, Professor Tapper. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. It doesn’t come from a place of disrespect, because I have nothing but admiration for you...” you stopped yourself before saying something you might regret. You could feel your blush intensifying.

A look of realization flashed over your Professors face.

“Oh, so thats what this is all about, I see.” he murmured, and turned around, walking towards his own desk in the front of the classroom.

“I’ll make the necessary arrangements to get you transferred to Professor Coopers class. This situation is highly inappropriate and it can’t interfere with your academial career, I won’t allow it.”

You were shocked.

Quitting Professor Tappers class? Never having another lecture with him again seemed like an impossible thing to even imagine. Before you could stop yourself, you began to speak again.

“No, Sir, please don’t do this. I’ll get a grip on it, I promise. It’s a silly crush, I won’t act on it, ever. I’ll never be late again, and I’ll participate, I’ll respond to every single question you give me, just please don’t make me quit your class.” you pleaded.

Your professor didn’t answer, so you got up from your chair and made your way over to him, coming to a halt in front of his desk. He was looking at you, eyes dark, an almost pained expression on his face. You took the paper you spent all night finishing out of your bag, putting it on his desk.

“This is my latest assignment, please read it before you make your decision. I am really putting so much effort into my work for this class, and I can’t imagine going to another professor with my questions. Please don’t send me away.” You were almost begging now, desperation evident in your voice.

Professor Tapper sighed and took of his glasses, the motion making your heart go fast you felt arousal starting to burn in your lower stomach. He was too attractive for his own good. You realized, too late, that you said the last part out loud.

“Sorry.” you whispered, not daring to meet his eye.

“Ms...Y/N” he said, addressing you by your first name for the first time ever.

You looked up to him.

“What you don’t understand is that I can’t allow myself to teach you anymore, considering this new...development. I just can’t do it.”

He took another deep breath, looking as if he was under an immense amount of stress. His shoulders were tense, and the crease between his eyebrows was more prominent then ever.

“But why?” you cried, “we can act like this whole conversation never happened. Nothing has to change, I’ll do better, I promise!”

He slammed his palm onto the table, the loud noise echoing through the empty lecture hall.

“Because it takes every damn ounce of my self control not to throw you over this desk right now and have my way with you, so how the hell am I supposed to teach you every day knowing that this is exactly what you want me to do? Staring at me like you’re doing it right now? I can’t do it!”

he was almost shouting now, breathing heavily. He was leaning over his desk so that his face was just inches apart from yours, close enough for you to see the small wrinkles around his eyes and how his lips were slightly parted.

And then you just leaned over and kissed him. His lips were soft but unmoving under yours. He was absolutely rigid for a second. Then he groaned against your mouth, and one of his hands reached out to cup your jaw and pull you closer, deepening the kiss.

A moan escaped your lips, and he broke free, taking several steps back from you. He was breathing hard and you could see a bulge beginning to form in his suit pants.

“Y/N, you have to leave. Now. We can’t do this.”

But there was no chance you were throwing away this opportunity. You’ve wanted this man for months, and this was your shot. So you slowly circled the desk and stopped right in front of Professor Tapper.

Gathering all your courage, you put one of your hands on his arm...and let the other one brush against his tight, close to his crotch. He let out a hiss, but didn’t make an attempt to remove your hands. His body was tense, but his eyes were dark and full of desire. He clearly wanted this as much as you did.

“No one needs to know. “ you whispered. “We obviously both want this, we’re both adults and you’re not even responsible for my final exam. You’re a guest professor, plus my graduation is only two months away anyway. I’ve wanted this, you, since I first stepped into your class.”

This broke his last resolve, he surged forward and started kissing you again, harder this time, his hands roaming your back, going downwards and squeezing your ass through your skirt as he pressed you against the hardening bulge in his trousers. "Fuck...are you sure you want to do this?“ he groaned into your ear. You just managed a breathy „Oh my god, yes.“

He instantly grabbed your hair to tilt your head back and cover your exposed neck with kisses and nibbles, making your skin break out in goosebumps and heat coiling in your lower stomach. You could feel yourself starting to get wet, and grinded your core against his erection again, your hands fisted into the lapels of his suit jacket. You moved against him, causing him to groan again, the deep, rumbling sound only fueling your arousal.

Your hands were shaking as you started working on his fly, opening the zipper and palming his cock through his boxer briefs.

While he continued to kiss your neck, his hands found their way under your skirt and he quickly pulled your panties down. As soon as your hot center was exposed, one of his long fingers parted your folds, gathering wetness.

Two of his digits entered you in a swift motion and the feeling of his fingers stretching you was like heaven. He was stroking that special spot deep inside you with every move as he plunged in and out of your wet pussy.

You buried you head in Jacobs (yes, you started thinking of him as Jacob, which was fair enough considering he had his fingers buried inside you) shoulder, muffling your increasing moans as you felt your orgasm approaching. The familiar tingling started low in your belly and slowly spread into every part of your body as Jake continued to thrust his fingers in and out of you faster and faster, the heel of his hand rubbing against your clit in the most delicious way.

"I’ve wanted to touch you for so long, feel you come apart under me. Come on, darling, come on my fingers.“ he growled into your ear and bit your earlobe. That was the last straw and you came with a cry, your walls clenching around his fingers as pleasure surged through you.

Your knees were weak as you slowly removed your head from his shoulder to look him in the eyes. His blown pupils and heavy breathing were making it obvious that this was affecting him just as much as you, which was also evident from the very prominent erection that was tenting his boxer briefs through the open fly. He carefully withdrew his fingers and quickly wiped them on his pants.

"Wow“ you said, still trying to find your breath. "That was...amazing“

Your head was still spinning a bit from the intensity of your orgasm, but you were already thinking about how to repay him for making you feel so good.

You reached out your hand to palm his erection again, making him utter a low groan. Leaning forward, you whispered into his ear.

"Let me reciprocate, please.”

"You don’t have to-"

You broke him off with a small smirk.

"Please, I insist.”

Without hesitation, you dropped to your knees in front of him. He watched you intensely, sucking in a sharp breath as you looked up to him from under your lashes while you slowly pulled down his briefs along with his trousers. His erection sprung free, and you wasted no time, putting your hand around the base and slowly started taking the head into your mouth. You could feel his cock heavy on your tongue as you slowly sucked him deeper. One of his hands fisted into your hair and he started thrusting in and out of your mouth.

You put your hands onto his thighs for leverage, softly scraping you nails across his skin, which only seemed to spur him on, his thrusts starting to become deeper.

“God, Y/N, your mouth feels absolutely fantastic. You look so beautiful on your knees, sucking me off, taking my cock between your pretty lips.”

You almost couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of your usually so eloquent Professors mouth. Who would’ve known he could talk so dirty.

It turned you on, immensely, and you increased your efforts, taking him even deeper into your mouth. You could feel his thrusts starting to quicken, and even if it was getting harder for you not to gag, you were enjoying this slightly rough treatment.

"Shit, I’m- I’m going to come, Y/N.” he gasped, locking eyes with you.

You nodded your head as far as it was possible, signaling him to not stop. Instead, you wrapped your hands around his legs and swallowed his cock deeper until it was hitting the back of your throat. He let out a deep, guttural moan and tightened his grip on your hair almost painfully as he came inside your mouth.

You released him, wiping the spit from your lips and looked up at your Professor. He was a sight to behold, dark eyes, tousled hair, leaning against his desk as he was slowly coming down from his high. You spoke first, getting up from the floor.

“I...liked that.” you said, unsure of what to say exactly.

He took a deep breath and rubbed a hand across his face.

“It was absolutely amazing. But we shouldn’t have done it. The very last thing I want is to take advantage of you. You deserve to be treated right.” he said in a low voice as he was readjusting his clothing. Hearing him say those things made a warm, happy feeling spread inside your chest. He cared. This hasn’t been just some quick way to blow off steam.

“You treated me exactly right, please dont worry...Jacob” you said, testing out the unfamiliar first name. He just nodded, and then his arms were around you, pulling you into a tight hug as he pressed a soft kiss to your hair.

“Thank you so much. But if you want this to continue, I must insist that you transfer into Professor Coopers class. Please, Y/N.”

his voice was heavy with emotion and he released you from the embrace to look directly at you.

“I agree. And I very much want this to continue, so I’m gonna transfer. It’s only for a few more weeks anyway. But, and this is my condition, you have to take me out for dinner this weekend.”

“Fair enough. I’d love to take you out properly. And please, call me Jake.”