#I’m no different. I think Cas is too young to get a turn in Lucifer’s presence but Anna might’ve been taught a few higher mysteries

[19catsncounting]

I have a collection of Supernatural headcanons that consistently pop up through my work, but one of the weirder ones is “Lucifer was there at the 10 Plagues.”

Like, Lucifer’s disdain for the pagan gods seems like it has history, which is Weird because we’re either working with the Paradise Lost origins where pagan gods fell from heaven with him, or tulpa gods which means they came about after Lucifer was locked up, or the season 15 interpretation that God made them which comes with the implied inclusion of pre-human religion and also that Lucifer had beef with them then (which, does indeed Fuck Severely but I like tulpa gods better because the whole ‘fall guy’ bit seems like a level of grasping divorced dad vibe that reads post-Lucifer to me).

Also, specifically with the 10 plagues, Michael inviting Lucifer to participate in the Slaughter of the Firstborn Specifically is… a dynamic and situation For Me.

And, most importantly, it seems kinda mean to not invite him to at least one biblical massacre. He probably didn’t get to fuck over Job, he definitely didn’t tempt Jesus in the desert - it’s one mass casualty event, let him be there!!!

(I can work around Lilith not dying Real Easy, actually. There’s over 600 seals and she can Almost die, so that Lucifer Almost leaves the cage, or Heaven could contract out some faerie magic to get part of Lucifer, or someone could just fly down and use the cage like a power outlet and Lucifer is conscious of how he’s being used for Heaven’s aims again but hey, he also gets pagan slaughter and a lot of humans dying on pay-per-view.)

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

So I watched 10.09 recently, and it has that part where Dean tells a story about him basically being almost roofied as a teen, but somehow it ends up framed as the funny joke and yet another proof that John "did what he could", and I kind of hate this? And it's the same episode in which MoC!Dean killed guys that kidnapped and tried to rape Claire, and you'd think writers would've addressed the parallels and acknowledge that Dean could've been triggered by this situation. 1/2

2/2 But in the end, it's never addressed, and the whole situation is framed as the proof that Dean is evil now. And I'm not even sure what I am trying to say, but with that being the show's approach back in s10, I'm not surprised about the finale anymore. Guess we should've known?

That’s an excellent angle to look at the issue because the Mark of Cain arc is a clear example of how people with different experiences will see the same thing in wildly different ways. There’s this phase of season 10 where everyone is like “oh no Dean is Getting Worse” and when you look at what Dean is doing... you actually go “...good for him”.

Let’s give Caesar what belongs to Caesar. It’s not “the writers” in this case, it’s Dabb. Plenty of other writers don’t fall into this John apologism thing. Just look at how the episode before Lebanon, written by Buckner and Ross Leming, says that sometimes John would temporarily kick Dean out because he was “pissed at him” despite Dean always taking his side to mantain the peace. It almost seems like a statement to sprinkle some salt given what Dabb does in Lebanon, you know? Maybe not, but there is a tension between “John was shitty” writers and “John did his best” writers.

In hindsight, we gave Dabb too much of the benefit of the doubt. We were like, weeell, that’s supposed to be way the characters perceive the truth, which is distorted by the trauma... But now it’s obvious that he truly believed in the John-did-his-best version. He brought him back and got Mary back with him. No matter what happened to the finale, the network didn’t print those pictures of John and Mary to hang on Sam’s wall. He never took Dean’s abuse seriously and it shows.

The “anedocte” of Dean getting drugged and “saved” by John from being raped is obviously there to parallel him with Claire. Which works! It’s so weird because it’s like. You are soooo close to getting the point. Younger Dean was assaulted just like this teenage girl is assaulted and Dean saves her... but apparently John yelling at those people is a good way of dealing with the issue, while murdering child traffickers is an overraction thus bad.

That’s the problem, isn’t it? That Dean’s murder spree is framed as an overreaction. Sam is like “tell me you had to do this! tell me it was you or them!” - the answer to which (by the narrative) is obviously no, it wasn’t self defense, he just killed them because he could. He just murdered those men for no reason except he felt like being murdery. And the audience is supposed to be like “oh no! Dean is murdery for no reason except for murderiness! That’s bad!”.

But it’s a power fantasy, isn’t it? Going on a murder spree on rapists and traffickers. I bet any people who’s been violated like that has fantasized of doing the exact thing Dean does here. Killing them all.

Dean had the physical strength and skill to kill them all, why shouldn’t he kill them? (I mean, in real life I’m against private justice because I’m a fan of the state of law, but the Supernatural universe obviously works on different principles than the state of law. Again, it’s a fictional narrative that plays out as a fantasy for the audience, so.)

So what was Dabb’s intention? I’m afraid it’s the worst one. “John Winchester’s not going to win any Number One Dad awards, you know? But, you know, damn if he wasn’t there when we needed him”. What the fuck, Dabb? It’s been established since season 1 that John WASN’T there when they needed him. Which... I’m afraid... leads us to the Cas-Claire plot in the episode. Cas has fucked off with Jimmy’s body leaving Claire on her own. Parallels how John wasn’t going to win wny Number One Dad awards. But! Cas is there when Claire Really Needs Him i.e. when she’s about to be raped by older men. Parallels how John was there when Dean Really Needed Him i.e. when he was about to be raped by older men.

I think the point is to say, Cas kinda sucked because he took Claire’s dad away but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Claire because he gets there in time to prevent her from being raped. Just like (ew) John kinda sucked as a father because hunting and stuff, but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Dean because he got there in time to prevent him from being raped.

It’s pretty yucky. Literally NOBODY wanted a parallel between Cas and John. But he made one. And he made one to absolve Cas from the guilt he carried for what he did to Claire (Claire’s mother is a mother so who fucking cares about her. She’s basically a Blurry Wife(TM), she’s only a tool for Claire’s arc, Cas apparently only cares about the harm he did the child, not the wife, for some reason.) and to absolve Cas from his guilt it absolves John too. Don’t worry, being a parent is hard. You often screw up. But you can *looks at smudged writing on hand* prevent the kid from being raped by predatory adults and everything’s fine now.

It’s not really important if the child suffered hunger or whatever, the only important thing is that they don’t get raped, because that’s bad, everything else is just a little detail.

All Dabb got with that scene was to paint Sam as extremely unsympathetic because he’s no longer a child, he’s a full adult now and still thinks of that episode at the CBGB as a funny story. That’s not a good look. It almost makes you think that the writer himself saw it as a funny story. Lol teenage boy biting more than he can chew. But then why the Claire parallel? The Claire scene onviously is not supposed to be anything but horrific. I'll give Dabb the benefit of the doubt on this specific thing.

It’s weird, yes, because Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon where he establishes that John was a bad husband/father even before tragedy hit the family. But apparently that’s the “not going to win any Number One Dad awards” part, I suppose? I guess he intended to write John as this flawed, ~complex~ figure who was imperfect but still brave and whatever blah blah did his best blah blah. I’m all for flawed complicated characters but a horrible father is a horrible father. A rose by any other name... parental abuse is still parental abuse even if the poor guy was complicated and traumatized and did what he thought he had to do to prepare his sons for a violent world.

Also, the story frames Dean’s escapade as a teenager being stupid. “You know what he got for that? Me whining about how much he embarrassed me. Me telling him that I hated him. But then he stopped and turned around looked at me and said, Son, you don’t like me? That’s fine. It’s not my job to be liked.” “It’s my job to raise you right.” This seems straight from a novel about teenagers doing something stupid that they’re too young to realize that their parents are right to be against them doing. But this isn’t just... a parent walking into a bar to stop their child to drink alcohol. Dean literally describes feeling sick from something that was inside the alcohol.

Sure, it makes sense that he’d lash out to John because of the shame and shock. But the scene is... off. Are we supposed to see this as a typical teenage mistake? Are we supposed to read it as something as horrific as what happened to Claire, literally sold into rape? Or, worse, are we supposed to see what happened to Claire as a teenage mistake, ah silly teenager, blindly trusting shady people, no wonder you end up in a situation where you’d get raped if a father figure didn’t sweep in and save you. I hope that wasn’t the intent.

To get back to Dean’s Mark-of-Cain violence, the writers clearly didn’t intend it to come from the Darkness up to a certain point. It was supposed to an arc about your own inner darkness (consider the Charlie episode, a couple episodes later). Then they came up with the idea of The(TM) Darkness, the suppressed cosmic feminine. While it caused a bit of dissonance in the subtext, it doesn’t really change Dean’s narrative, because his inner darkness is the trauma, and his trauma is inherebtly tied to the “feminine” i.e. the parts of him that don’t fit seamlessly into the scheme of toxic masculinity values. That the violence that comes from the Mark of Cain comes from Dean himself and that’s it, or is connected to the Darkness, it doesn’t change what it means for Dean. Dean and Amara have parallel histories, the feminine principle locked away, the trauma the anger stems from.

In 10x09 we’re still in the Before The (TM) Darkness era, before the suppressed cosmic feminine. The Mark of Cain arc is still about... well, Cain. But the shift is the signal that someone looked at Dean’s arc and said... you know what? “Lucifer gave me this curse so now I’m demonic and murdery” is meh. “Toxic masculinity suppresses the feminine and it creates trauma which rage and violence comes from” is more interesting. I don’t know whose idea it was, but it was a good idea, and surely the idea came from seeing how Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding.

Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding in a certain way, in fact, because of a pretty simple reason. There’s a fundamental tension in Dean’s MoC arc. We want him to go murdery, but it’s also our main character, so we don’t want him to do really horrible things because he still needs to be relatable. The audience cannot hate him, so he must NOT do something entirely unforgivable. He still needs to be somewhat relatable, even when demonic or demonic-adjacent.

So he goes on a murder spree... but it’s rapists and child traffickers. He’s demon, but he kills a misogynistic dude that wanted his wife dead for cheating on him. He’s a demon, but beats up dudes that harass women. He does a slaughter, but they’re nazi. He’s off the deep end, but works a case of kidnapped and abused young women...

Speaking of which. 10x23, written by Jeremy Carver. Dean works a case where a girl was killed while dressed scantily and Dean makes some slut-shaming remarks, and we’re supposed to think “whoa Dean, that’s bad”. But later he confronts the girl’s father and what does he say?

I’m just doing my job, Mr. McKinley.

By suggesting my daughter was a slut?

I’ll admit that thought crossed my mind. Then I came here, and I smelled the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervade this home.

You shut your face right now.

And you know what? I don’t blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her.

Back then the episode was super controversial and everyone hated the case because of the apparent slut-shaming but I loved it! Because it’s not about the girl. It’s about Dean. Dean doesn’t think that a girl gets killed because she dresses in a miniskirt so it’s her fault. Dean is projecting on himself and he’s not actually victim blaming the girl, he’s victim blaming himself. And when he absolves the girl by putting the blame on the father... well, subtextually he’s absolving himself by putting the blame on his father. On the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervaded his own home. He’s textually not ready to absolve himself, of course, he summons Death to ask him to kill him later, but subtextually he’s on the right path.

Rose McKinley basically did the same mistake Dean did at the CBGB when he trusted some older people who offered him drinks and the same mistake Claire did when she trusted a man who sold her for money because he offered him a place and stability. She trusted the wrong people (in this case, vampires, which adds the whole subtext of vampires and sexuality) who took advantage of her. Except Rose had no one to save her. (Her friend, Crystal, gets rescued by Dean, even if he causes the other hunter Rudy to die in the process.)

Carver’s writing is pretty brutal. The girl made that mistake because was abused at home, so she was desperate for validation and that desperation drove her into the wrong hands. (Rose even has a brother who blames himself for bringing her sister to her future murderers, destructive sibling relationship check.) It doesn’t actually even matter if Dean guessed right about Rose’s family situation, because what matters is what it tells us about Dean. He basically relates to a dead abused girl. Actually all through the season Dean is paralleled to “skanks” “sluts” and sex workers. Obviously this happens kinda all through the show, the whole “the business is based on absent fathers” thing happened much earlier in the story, so it’s not new. But s10 draws a picture of female suffering - abuse, manipulation and death. Season 10 was difficult to go through. In hindsight, it was probably on purpose because it was supposed to be darkest hour of the feminine. Summed with some good old fashioned misogyny, but hey.

The Carver era was wonky but Carver wanted to free the feminine. (I believe that Mary’s comeback, while written by Dabb because of the showrunner shift, was planned before the showrunner shift.) We thought the Dabb era wanted the same, with Mary choosing life and Amara being independent and so on, but it evidently wasn’t the case. Not a single woman arrives at end of the story. It’s hardly ~Bucklemming or ~the network or ~covid because it starts before the very end.

I’m not saying that dead sluts are more feminist than living women, but if the women die or disappear anyway (and they did) I’d rather have an exploration of trauma than nothing. And I definitely prefer a dead slut narrative that calls out parental abuse than a narrative where women live but abuse gets the you-did-your-best treatment.

Whoops! I digressed! But feel free to ask for any clarification or send me any observation or thought.

[hawkland]

(Mostly) Destiel Fic Recs #5

This is a LONG recs post because it’s been a while since I did an update and I fell hard into reading one author’s work (DeanRH). In fact I could easily do a rec post just of their fics alone, but for this round I’m just going to pick out a handful of my absolute favorites so far, the ones I’d recommend to start out with, along with more other authors’ works I’ve especially enjoyed lately.

Absolution at the Five-and-Dime by DeanRH (125k)  - this is perhaps THEE DeanRH fic to start with if you want a good, long read with a little bit of everything (Roadtrips! Intriguing casefic! Americana! Tasty Dean/Cas pining! Wing!kink and unique angel lore! Kinky soul fisting and tentacles!) It’s kind of two of parallel stories in one: the first, a flashback to Dean and Sam's first year hunting on their own (as well as trying to avoid hunting, and John in general); the second on how Dean and Cas finally get together during an unusual case and when Dean is able to really let go of his past trauma and accept himself/accept love from Cas. 

What I love about DeanRH’s work is that they write from the unique point of view of a drifter, so they understand living on the road, traveling place to place, and the highs and lows of that life like no others I’ve encountered in SPN before. (The author’s notes are often as much fun to read as the stories themselves). They also write a kickass angel!Cas and never lose sight of his non-human traits and background. Their writing style is unique - almost poetic in nature, and I know some readers have found it difficult to get into. But it works really well for me in their SPN fic...gives it the flavor of oral story telling as might actually happen at a drifter’s camp (with one story written exactly as such). Be warned this particular fic does play up the idea of John Winchester being mentally abusive and Dean having to turn tricks when he was younger in order to support him and Sam, so there is some dark stuff. But as someone who grew up with mentally abusive parent, reading this was extremely cathartic to me and believably written (unlike some stories that go too over the top with abusive John, or just don't understand how that kind of abuse leaves lifetime psychological scars.)

The rest of this round’s recs below the cut.

Carnevale by DeanRH (18k) - Actually the first fic by this author I read, because I just couldn’t resist a story set in my favorite place in the world, Venice, Italy. Castiel is the Angel of Venice, banished there for so long he does not even know or remember the reasons why. But Carnevale season is the one time a year he can let his wings out - figuratively and literally. And during this particular Carnevale season, he meets an intriguing masked young American tourist there with his brother and their one night stand turns into something far more powerful than either expected. This one’s hot, romantic, and achingly sad at the end as it all ties together unexpectedly with canon-verse...though with a hint for the future so it’s definitely not totally sad. I loved how DeanRH clearly understands Venice as a fellow lover of the city, the side of it most tourists never see unless they spend a long time there. This story made me cry just from wanting to be back in Venice again.

Ice cream was sweeter, food more satisfying, everything was an epicurean delight. There was just something magical about Venice, and he had lived here in the city for hundreds of years, so the shine should have worn off by now.

But it didn't, and there was always something more, something wonderful to discover around the next corner. The painted eaves of a church. The beauty of two women dancing with flowers in their teeth across the Piazza San Marco one day, overcome by the sheer joy of just being there. The way the university students still created Venetian masks, like Castiel's extravagant volto mask and Dean's humble servetta muta, with crafts that had been handed down across the generations. The morning silence that lay against the stones.

Hard Landing by DeanRH (26.9k) - A bit similar in theme to Carnevale. A pre-series Dean and Sam are sight-seeing in Spain when an angel, struck by a babel-spell, crash lands right in front of Dean. A strange yet seriously hot encounter with the angel turns into something much more complicated when the brothers return home and realize something more serious is afoot and they are both trapped in the middle of it. This is another story where things are very much not as they seem at first (as fun as that is!) It features master strategist Cas at his best, with a side helping of delightful trickery care of Gabriel and Balthazar as they deal with Lucifer, Michael...and a few others along the way.

The Sacred Band of Thebes by DeanRH (14.5k) - The last DeanRH fic I’m gonna allow myself to include in this round up, because it’s just very soft and sweet and beautiful - for a story about Dean & Cas being magically transported back in time to ancient Sparta! This is another story infused with a great knowledge of place and history, with some wonderfully delightful original characters added in that make it all the more enjoyable to read.

And now on to some other authors, I promise!

IPAMIS OL OLPRIT by emmbrancsxx0 (56k). A really wonderful fic that take a different look at what might have happened with a temporarily resurrected John Winchester during Season 14. Dean & Cas are in an established relationship here, and John here isn’t too happy about it — though mostly because he sees Cas (and Jack) as monsters, the kind of monsters he spent his lifetime hunting. This is a great fic for the emotional complexity of how John, Dean and Cas are all handled. John isn’t a cardboard evil dad, Dean is struggling between his loyalty to his father and to Cas, and Cas is increasingly bitchy/frustrated at Dean still being so desperate for his father’s approval (and all the more complex for not just being a quietly suffering perfect supporting boyfriend.) There’s some great action sequences in this too along with the emotional angst and a delicious dose of hurt!Cas if that’s your thing (as it is for me :D)

Abrenuntio by Neonbat (51k). A very dark but compelling AU take on the/a apocalypse universe. Dean, Sam and John are all alive in this post-angel war-apocalyptic world. They are part of a group of human survivors fighting against the angel army when they manage to capture “Blue” — a particularly feared angel of death. Dean is tasked with bringing Blue in for interrogation and he becomes a prisoner in their camp after John is killed. As mentioned, this is a pretty dark/sad fic (with some rather gruesome torture scenes) but I still found it quite compelling as a look at how things could have gone in some other parallel universe. And somehow the author manages to make the Dean/Cas relationship come together despite them starting out as complete enemies. This is one of those AUs that works for me because the core of the characters really shine through despite the differences in the setting.

if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee (37k) - a gorgeous post-Empty rescue fic that takes an approach I haven’t really seen explored in detail before (despite being something I’ve actually thought about as something that could’ve happened.) What if Cas has spent so long denying himself happiness, and then trapped in regrets and false-rescue scenarios created by the Empty, that he can’t trust that his rescue is real? And so he runs off to be on his own - literally stealing the Impala because he can’t handle being in Dean’s presence one moment longer - and only slowly comes to terms with the idea that it’s over now and he can be happy with/around his friends and family. This one’s both deliciously angsty and at times funny/sweet, looking at Cas’s relationships not just with Dean but with Sam, Jack, Claire, even Eileen. It does some fun stuff with other returned angels and demons who now find themselves back on Earth (and human), and...I just really enjoyed this one a lot.

Both Saved and Lost by angelfishofthelord (13.7k) Gen Cas character study, absolutely gorgeous and sad and one of those fic I couldn’t stop thinking about the day after reading it. AU where Apocaverse!Cas isn’t immediately killed by our Cas during 13x22 but instead hitches a ride back to the main ‘verse. Dean and Sam want to keep him alive for information on Michael; Cas is torn and trying to figure out just how similar—or different—they really are. Some great angel stuff here (I also highly recommend this author’s Jack & Cas “dadstiel” fics, they’re equally lovely and heartbreaking at the same time.)

flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k) - THEE “What exactly did Dean eat in Purgatory, anyway?” fic you’ve probably already heard about. *cough* I’ve been trying to work up the courage to read this one for a while and finally gave in and OH MY CHUCK I’m so glad I did. It’s perversely disturbing and beautiful at the same time, Cas is wonderfully DERANGED and ALIEN in that way that I love it when fics managed to convey just how much angels are NOT human. Do heed the tags.

Full of Grace by ilovehowyouletmefall (11k) - Another one for the weird-as-fuck-angel!Cas lovers’ list. Heaven/canon-compliant fic where Dean knows he should feel happy and at peace but he just...isn’t, even with Cas and all of his friends and family there. He finally goes looking for Cas when he’s been absent for a time and, for the first time, gets to not just see but experience his true form. Another one that hits some kinks I knew I had and others I didn’t...until now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

don't ask me where i've been by saltwound / @1x06 (8k) - I can never resist a good 09x06 fiction gap fic! What makes this one really stand out is how well it captures Cas’s internal voice - his struggles adapting to human senses, limitations and emotions versus what/how he experienced things as an angel. The longing and feelings between Dean & Cas here are so achingly beautiful and I just wanted to cry when Cas says he misses hearing Dean’s prayers, so Dean, he...oh, I’m not going to spoil it. *happy sigh* Just read it.

this room is wrong by DarkHeartInTheSky (12k) - Sometimes I like torturing myself with some good 15x03 divorce arc angst and this fic hit that button just so. It’s an alternative take on where Cas might have ended up after leaving the bunker and features some great Cas & Sam friendship feels, when Sam sets out to try to bring Cas home. It’s all the stuff you’d wish the writers would’ve let them talk out in canon.

Well that’s more than enough for this round! Go forth, read and give some great writers some kudos & comment love!

[demonologist-in-denim]

Okay, let’s get into this, because I have put off talking about Crowley’s cut monologue from 12x23 for long enough. If you haven’t already, you can read it here, or in this great gifset.

I absolutely see why this was cut. And I’m only acknowledging it here to talk about why I not only think it doesn’t add anything to Crowley’s story or our understanding of him, but how it actually detracts from it. After that, I intend to ignore it and let it fade away into the ether of the spn fandom. That being said, deleted scenes and cut scripts live in a sort of canonical limbo – you can choose for yourself whether to accept them as canon, consider them glimpses from some alternative universe, or do away with them entirely. I’m choosing the latter in this instance.

(This was meant to be a post, but it turned into an essay.)

Whomever wrote this was either unfamiliar with Crowley as a character, or was intentionally twisting the character in such a way as to fit into the convenient narrative that removed him from the show. Blame it on Chuck in text, blame it on the showrunners outside of text, whatever your preference – this doesn’t read like Crowley.

There are very few parts of this monologue that felt in character, that read like something Crowley would say. Not just in the tone or the choice of words, but the openness of it. And that’s coming from someone who writes reformed and/or human Crowley, with his admittance to remorse and shame and love. In this cut script, he is uncharacteristically vulnerable, sharing self-reflections he would never have shared aloud at this point in his character development. His dialogue lacks the layers of meaning or deflection that Crowley would normally employ, that he employed everywhere else in the show, even when being emotionally vulnerable.

That’s not to say that Crowley didn’t think or feel these things – I will argue to the end of my days (in spn fandom) that after the cure, Crowley hated himself. He hated that he was alone and unloved. Some part of that was due to being a demon and the horrible, evil, messy things he’d done, and some of it he believed was due to his inherent lack of worth. And I think this monologue was written in part to have Crowley make that final confession out loud. Final because, if that’s the case and he’s willing to admit it – to his former enemies and now the only people he really has in his life – his story can only take one of two directions: redemption or death. Embrace the desire for change and move forward as a reformed demon and full Winchester ally, or dramatically (and unnecessarily) sacrifice himself.

And there is a way to write that, but with Crowley properly in character and with the emotional complexity we know him to possess, not this blatant declaration. Maybe the line would have worked depending on how Mark Sheppard played it, and it only falls so flat because it’s just a script – I’m willing to allow for that. But this moment, facing down the boys after letting Lucifer loose, in front of an audience of Mary Winchester that he doesn’t know well and isn’t comfortable with, it doesn’t feel like a moment for Crowley to be this open, this vulnerable, about something so personal and so monumental.

I’ve no doubt that Crowley expected the Winchesters would one day kill him, “for good this time.” He was a demon working alongside a pair of hunters; there was always going to be that risk. Crowley was intelligent, one of the smartest characters on the show. He had to know that was how things would play out – either that, or he would die on their behalf, or because of their actions, even if he had ended up leaving Hell and joining Team Free Will. That was what happened to people around the Winchesters. Crowley warned Kevin of that himself. “They use people up, and leave them to die bloody.” Crowley knew. And as he internalized more and more of his blood-born conscience, Crowley had to believe on some level that he deserved it, especially if he hated himself and what he’d done.

But once again, if Crowley was going to say something like that, that’s not how he’d say it. It would be as a dismissive aside, or a knife in Dean’s gut in a moment of intense emotion between the two of them, or as a rebuke that the Winchesters badly deserved. Or better yet, as something remarked between himself and Cas, who Crowley likely suspected would outlast him but also ultimately die in service of the Winchester cause. Words like those have power. And it’s unlike Crowley to lay them down in supplication like this. It doesn’t even feel like a heart-felt confession, like his monologue in 8x23. It reads like someone wrote what was meant to be under Crowley’s words, the intention behind his dialogue, the much-exalted subtext, but failed to add all the layers on top of it, to put it in actual character.

I’m just going to bundle the whole beginning of the monologue together and toss it out entirely. Firstly because I’ve argued more than once that Crowley is an unreliable narrator when it comes to his human life. What we know of it from Rowena comes with an agenda, and what we know of it from Gavin comes from a man who had a difficult relationship with his father. It’s about as reliable as young Dean telling stories to Sammy about their parents’ time together. And there’s canonical errors in this monologue to back that up – we know Crowley wasn’t buried in a pauper’s grave, because we saw it 6x04. The “dying in a puddle of his own sick” is a great detail in terms of storytelling, but it’s almost directly repeated from Rowena, who said it as a belittling comment to a young Fergus. It’s too forced. And we know at least Gavin came to the funeral, because he tells us so in a deleted scene in 12x13 (remember what I said about getting to pick and choose when it comes to cut scripts and deleted scenes?).

But more importantly – and this is the part that really grates – Crowley’s iteration of his human life reinforces the narrative of absolute morality in the spn universe. It supports the argument that if a character becomes a demon, it must be because they were a terrible person. There is no room for human flaws, for characters to have made mistakes – and that doesn’t just hinder characters in terms of backstory, but in character development and emotional growth moving forward. It’s a stance spn takes more than once, and especially with non-human characters, though never in regards to the Winchesters. The Winchesters can become soulless or demons, but they were “always good” before that, so they are deserving of redemption. If Crowley or other non-humans were “always bad,” that absolves the Winchesters from seeing them as people deserving of help, or of their ability to change, or even to be seen as beings deserving of any level of respect or agency. And it absolves the showrunners from writing a character capable of development, of being able to grow beyond their previous flaws.

That’s not to say that Fergus MacLeod wasn’t some or all of those things. But if he was a complex character – if he was a person, as all stories should aim to present their characters – then he was all of that and more, just as the Winchesters are their virtues and their faults all wrapped up in an individual person. And if Crowley had brought this up some other time, in reference to his human life, none of this discussion would be necessary. It would be easy to say: he’s an unreliable narrator, and this provides us with insight into how Crowley feels about himself, and it would be interesting and valuable. But here, it’s used in justification for Crowley’s status as irredeemable – which is not true – and as part of justification for what happens next.

Crowley’s death was written by the showrunners as an excuse to remove him from the show – attribute that to budget costs for the show, or running out of story ideas for Crowley, or creative laziness, whatever you want. And within spn, it can be attributed to Chuck not wanting another character like Cas muddling up his Winchester Brothersᵀᴹ grand narrative. I’ve written before both in posts and in fic about how Crowley’s character-central instinct for self-preservation crumbles into depression after losing Hell and the seemingly-irreversible depletion of his and Dean’s friendship in 12x23. And that this ushers in a desire to End in such a way that achieves revenge against Lucifer (not a significant motivation, in my opinion, you’ve got to outlive your enemies to win against them), earns him the appreciation of the Winchesters, saves the world (proving his capacity for good), and brings about an end to his waiting. Glory through death, redemption in death – tropes that are hard to associate with Crowley unless you buy into his character’s devolvement in the latter half of season 12, but which the writers do their best to smooth into place and the fandom was forced to choke down.

And I won’t argue that Crowley didn’t wanted an end to his waiting – I’d argue the opposite in fact. This blatant preference for suicide, however, is antithesis to everything Crowley. What Crowley wanted in that End wasn’t an end of himself, but an end to existing in a state of perpetual limbo. Be accepted by the good guys, embrace his more human aspects, or return to the full dark depravity of demonkind. An end to the emotional rollercoaster, to continuous and destructive self-doubt, to striving to be both the king Hell needed and the ally the Winchesters refused to admit they benefited from having. That’s entirely different than wanting to end himself. As much as Crowley hated himself, he would never have considered death to be a preferable option – not unless some outside force, be it Chuck or the spn showrunners, decided otherwise for him.

Even if that had been the case, and I am wrong about Crowley’s characterization and his motivations, I still do not think he would have been as open about that motivation as is written in this cut script. It is just not like him. It is too vulnerable, too self-pitying. Crowley was always concerned about the others around him, and especially the Winchesters, thinking less of him. He never would have said something like this to them, not as this is written. Nor would Crowley have gone to the Winchesters with the intention of them killing him. He might have known it was a possibility, once he confessed his actions, (and from his perspective, there was the chance the Winchesters didn’t know of his involvement in Lucifer’s escape anyway), but it would never have been his intention. It’s not unknown for Crowley to encourage abuse from those he’s wronged, and to revel in the attention and emotions of it (here I’m thinking specifically of Kevin beating him in 9x02), maybe considering the punishment just and due. And Crowley at this point likely suspected he would eventually meet his end in some way involving the Winchesters. But death by their hands in this moment would have involved none of the justifying benefits of death by his own hand only a few scenes later – glory, revenge, redemption, a sense of closure.

Compare this cut monologue and its potential death – at the hands of the Winchesters after confessing his role in Lucifer’s escape – to this cut line of dialogue from later in 12x23. “Tell Dean he was right – you bloody fools have rubbed off on me.” This is Crowley. This is emotional complexity, admittance to a change of heart, self-awareness, and a brave act of equal defiance and sacrifice, with his usual smug, snarky dismissal. This isn’t suicide brought on by depression, by an uncharacteristic vulnerability. It is resolved, determined, if reluctant. This is Crowley choosing the greater good and the boys, even if it means sacrificing himself.

For me, this small addition smooths over much of the unevenness in the showrunner’s attempts to justify Crowley’s death. He has lost Hell, he believes he’s had an irreversible falling out with Dean – all of which could be overcome, grown beyond. But then a rift opens, and Lucifer is an immediate danger, and it requires a life to save the day. Crowley knows it can’t be either of the boys – that tends to have world-ending effects – and it can’t be Mary Winchesters or Castiel, because of “Winchester man-pain.” So that leaves Crowley. And having exhausted all immediate alternatives, Crowley does what internalized Winchester logic and conscience tells him is right. It would still require a moment of hesitation, a moment we see him combatting his deeply imbedded trait of self-preservation. But at least that would have been in character and show definitive character growth on Crowley’s part.

So yes, I completely agree with the decision to cut this monologue in 12x23. It doesn’t tell us anything about Crowley that we don’t already know, and is uncharacteristic of him, and provides out-of-character justification for his actions that wasn’t needed. You don’t have to agree with me, obviously. And I’ll end this rather long rant of an essay by saying what I always say: that Crowley deserved better. He deserved better than the mangling of his character’s motivations in the latter half of season 12, and he deserved better than this monologue. I’m glad it was cut from the final script.

[thegeminisage]

wAit i actually do want ur thoughts on how much u think michael was talking total shit i nthat bar

(here’s the post for context)

well firstly i think it’s an interesting juxtaposition between lucifer, the “bad son” who ostensibly doesn’t lie but merely tells uncomfortable truths*, and michael, the “good son” who not only lies all the fucking time, but knows the exact worst possible thing to say to anyone at any given time. I JUST THINK THAT’S NEAT. 

(*lucifer lies a lot in late seasons too because of antag decay, but like, the original concept of him was one of uncomfortable honesty.)

michael is willing to lie to get his way and does so frequently - starting with going back on the deal he made with dean, to leave him after they killed lucifer. he also does it when he shit-talks every last one of our protagonists in turn in 14.10, the episode the gifs are from. he starts with jack - telling him he’s nothing but a job, and dean wasn’t sad when he died, when we know that isn’t true (jack is visibly upset by this, which is part of why he chooses to use his powers later; michael successfully manipulated his enemy into doing harm to himself). after that michael goes in on cas, telling him that god doesn’t care about his world because it’s nothing but a failed draft (interestingly, cas is also visibly shaken by this).

then, before sam and cas enter dean’s mind, michael says that he WANTS them to do that - because his body might be all chained up, but in there, they don’t stand a chance. this is also untrue, because the whole purpose of him talking shit in that gifset to begin with is to stall so his monsters can rescue him. dean DOUBLES DOG DARES HIM to snap his fingers and nuke them all, and he doesn’t because he can’t. he didn’t want them in dean’s mind at all. he’s in trouble the whole time they’re in there and he KNOWS it.

as for what he said to sam, dean, and cas - yeah, this was also deeply untrue. the first thing he does is take a shot at cas; he claims that dean doesn’t care about cas, only feels obligated to help him out because of cas pulling him out of hell, and that cas, known fuck-up, is almost not worth the trouble. of course, WE know that isn’t true, and DEAN knows that isn’t true, and, being that cas was just looking through dean’s worst memories a few moments ago, and likely saw his own death there, HE probably knows it isn’t true too. (look at his face there compared to sam’s; he’s quite unbothered by the accusations, but shortly after looks away as though remembering something. the sheer magnitude of the lies michael is telling is what leads cas to figuring out in a moment that what michael is actually doing is stalling.) 

michael takes a swing at sam next, and this punch seems to hit the mark a little better - michael claims that dean was happiest when sam wasn’t around so it could be just him and john, alone together, just the two of them. it’s not in this gifset, but he also says “deep down, [dean] knows that you will always abandon him, again and again,” and sam shakes his head furiously. 

of course with what he went through at lucifer’s hands, sam has every reason in the world to be afraid of archangels, but i like to think he’s thinking about running away in flagstaff - i imagine the older sam got, the more he began to understand about the differing ways he & dean were abused by john. michael is striking at sam’s guilt for leaving dean alone to go to school, because he knows EXACTLY what dean’s life with john alone was like (more on that in a sec), but he’s also unknowingly striking at that flagstaff guilt. knowing something in your head and believing it in your heart are two entirely different matters - but i think logically sam is emotionally intelligent enough to know, most of the time, that the person at fault for dean’s abuse is his abuser. at the very least, he can be certain that dean was NOT happy when left alone with his father - dean’s neediness has been brought up in this series almost more times than i can count.

but both michael’s attack on cas and his attack on sam are ALSO attacks on dean, because dean will worry that sam and cas WILL think it’s all true - which is why michael says it. sam and cas are there as dean’s support system because dean isn’t strong enough to fight michael on his own. michael is SMART and the smartest thing to do is to drive a wedge between dean and his rescuers as quickly as possible. 

dean’s face here is absolutely INCREDULOUS. not only is this evidence that everything michael is saying is wildly untrue, but that he knows exactly how untrue it is - after all, he’s in dean’s head. michael’s goal isn’t to expose an ugly truth, it’s to strike at insecurities and weak points with untruths. the very next thing he says to dean is “you don't need them. you don't even like them. they're not your family, they're your responsibilities. they're a weight around your neck, & deep down, you were desperate to get away from them - that's why you said yes.”

dean goes from incredulous to disgusted in a big hurry once michael starts implying that dean believes sam’s going to abandon him again, and he gets out-and-out angry once michael actually does hit on the smallest kernal of truth - that dean sometimes felt burdened by the responsibilities of caring for his family. i think dean only getting truly angry THERE is indicative of how much bullshit the rest of it was. 

...including (told you we’d get back to this) the fact that dean was happy to be left alone with john. as we can see from his face - his “michael-is-lying” face - dean was NOT AT ALL HAPPY that it was just the two of them. consider:

john is a control freak - he expects instant and unquestioning obedience from his sons at all times. dean explains to sam later (and john himself confirms this near the season finale) that john equates control to protection. "dad was never disappointed in you...he was afraid of what could've happened to you if he wasn't around." "when you said that you wanted to go away to school, all i could think about, my only thought was, that you were gonna be alone, vulnerable." john, in his insane quest for vengeance and in his constant paranoia, wanted to control every possible aspect of sam and dean’s lives.

when sam leaves he’s not under john’s control. when sam and dean withhold information from him (that sam has been having visions) they aren’t under his control. when they talk back or disobey orders (when a young dean leaves the motel room to go to the arcade instead of watching sammy, when sam won’t accept his hunt midseason, when sam refuses to shoot him in order to kill yellow eyes) they are not under his control. even when dean doesn’t take care of the car as he was asked to, he’s not under john’s control. he’s slacking. 

and EVERY time this happens john gets angry. he demands to know why didn’t didn’t call about the dreams. he snaps at him about the car. when john came home from flagstaff and found sam missing, he was furious. we don’t know exactly what happened but we can tell it was not good. how much worse would it have been when sam went away for good instead of just two weeks?

i don’t think john’s reaction was as rash as the one in flagstaff - because he knew sam wasn’t dead, and sam’s college dreams weren’t dean’s fault, he didn’t wind up beating dean for it - but i do think it was longer-lasting and in many ways worse to deal with. he basically threw a 4-year temper tantrum that he couldn’t MAKE sam stay. and with one son missing there was just one left to take it out on. again, dean’s abuse is the fault of his abuser, NOT SAM, but no: dean probably did not have a good time while sam was gone.

what’s absolutely twisted about this is that the feeling seems to have been mutual - sometime in those four years, john started letting dean go on hunts by himself. this is explained away in the now-iconic “i’m 26 dude” line but john is such a control freak that it seems unlikely it was a matter of finding dean old enough to have earned his independence. dean could have turned 40 and if john was still alive and hunting yellow eyes he’d still expect dean to go right where he put him. i have a different theory:

dean says in season 14 that john used to send him away from sam when he was angry, so dean associates being split up from them with failure and punishment. it’s very likely that not only was dean NOT happiest when it was just him and john, he was actually SO unhappy that john simply didn’t want to be around him anymore.

hence the incredulous face.

[spn masterpost]

[irrlicht-writes]

the path we choose to walk on pt.4

So this is it. Part 4, everyone. The last part! We made it to the end! Wooo! (now I have to focus on my bang again) Thank you for being with me. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Tell me what you thought! Tell me what you liked! Tell me what you hated! (be nice though) @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @cass-said-i-love-you @professorerudite @insertdeeplyrics anyone else want on the tag list?

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

Ao3

Part 4: let the good times roll

Sam and Eileen gift a painting set to Castiel one day. Dean isn’t sure why but they say it’s because he saved their baby. Later Cas admits to Dean that he barely remembers what happened.

As it turns out, Castiel sees the world vastly different than Dean. Dean’s no art critic, nor could he detect a masterpiece in the making but to him, Cas’ pieces feel alive. There is a certain aspect to them.

Castiel paints mostly with his fingers and the faces of the people are wonky at best but still, they stare right into Dean’s heart.

“They are dead,” Cas says, “but with this, they’re alive. There was a world people cannot understand today. You have changed so much in so little time and yet it remains – you will always look at the world with wonder in your eyes.”

 Charlie helps them sell Cas’ art online. They sell somewhat well and Dean thinks that Cas is happy that he gets to help. Cas had said that he would’ve like to take a real job, but Dean shut him down very quickly.

Nobody would want to hire Cas – first, Cas didn’t even properly exist. And second; there would be too many days where Cas would have to stay at home. Any employer would only allow so many sick days and Dean is afraid of sending Cas to a therapist.

Even though he knows that they all probably need one, how would you even start explaining?

“Yeah, roughly 15 years ago I set off with my brother to find our dad and now our son turned into God. Oh and also we picked up this literal angel as our best friend and all of us – our son concluded who by the way was fathered by Lucifer – have died several times and then we just kind of went going.”

Yeah. No.

Not to mention all the additional bullshit Castiel would have to unpack. Dean’s been in a mental constitution once; he doesn’t really have to go there again. And he certainly doesn’t want Cas to go there – also, again.

The bees are still on Dean’s mind. He doesn’t need a repeat of that.

And anyway, the paintings are selling. And in time, they might even be able to ask for more money. Dean doesn’t really hold out hope but who knows?

 Two years after Maria is born, Sam and Eileen get married. Dean knows that they’ve been discussing marriage for a long time and have never been able to decide whether it was for them or not. But then Eileen proposed and here they are.

“She asked me to accompany her with the ring shopping. I think she just wanted to use me for my fingers,” Cas says to Dean and Dean smirks.

“Do you think Jack’ll show up?”

“I don’t know. I’ve told him; and I’m sure he knows but whether or not he’ll actually show up... it would be good to see him again. But even if he can’t make it here, he’ll be watching over these two.”

They are about to begin the ceremony and Dean’s excited to be the Best Man. He’s never thought he’d get to be that for real so it feels like a dream. Maria’s supposed to be the Flower Girl but she hasn’t shown up yet.

“Cas,” Charlie rushes over to them. Cas blinks up at her, tilting his head.

“Maria doesn’t want to walk, she’s embarrassed. Do you think you can help her out?”

Maria has gotten overly attached to Cas in these past two years and Dean believes it’s just infatuation. After all, who could look into these big blue eyes and not fall for them? Dean, however, is a little bit upset over the fact that she likes Cas better than him. But he’ll just wait until Maria will appreciate cars. And that’s when Dean will win.

“Of course,” Cas replies, “come on, Miracle.”

Miracle has essentially become Castiel’s therapy dog. She follows him everywhere and makes sure he eats and drinks enough. She loves Cas to pieces and anyone who even looks at the angel wrong gets growled at.

Dean watches them walk away and gets his phone out. He knows that there is a photographer here that films things but he wants that piece for himself. And he has to go up there anyway, so he might just go now anyway.

It takes five more minutes before Cas was apparently able to convince Maria to come out – and even then, she’s getting carried. She’s holding the flower basket close to her chest and Cas encourages her to throw the petals down. Dean’s heart melts at the sight of them.

Cas stops next to the pew where Claire and Kaia are sitting and basically tells Maria to throw flowers on them. Claire laughs and playfully shoves Cas away from them. Jody and Donna are also getting petals thrown in their face. Everybody is smiling and Dean’s happy that he’s filming this.

Maria is giggling and throwing petals all over the place. “She was so stiff before,” Charlie whispers in his direction.

“She wasn’t even looking at me and now look at that. How is Cas’ gayness softer than mine?”

“You’re just intimidating.”

“Cas is an angel!”

 Eileen is beautiful when she walks down the aisle. Sam next to him exhales and has the biggest smile on his stupid face.

“Mama so pretty!” Maria proclaims loudly while clapping her hands.

“Yes, she is,” Cas replies a little quieter. He has her sitting on his lap and he has a flower in his hair. Apparently Maria was supposed to give that to her mom but she had decided that it was for Cas, so now he was wearing the flower. It does fit him, Dean thinks.

The ceremony itself goes over without a hitch even though Sam almost breaks down crying twice. Dean was expecting more, if he’s honest. Maybe Sammy practised with Cas – apparently Cas is the solution to every problem.

Later, at the party, Dean holds an embarrassing speech about Sam and after, Sam dunks his head into a pie. This is fair, because Dean definitely deserves that. It’s all good, though. Cas laughs and wipes Dean’s face clean and Maria – still in Cas’ lap – giggles like it’s Christmas.

Dean dances with Eileen and Sam dances with Cas and Maria. Charlie’s taking pictures and Dean loves it. Cas can’t dance for very long and he leans heavily onto Sam but he tries his best for Sam and Maria both.

Dean loves him.

And someday, he’ll man up enough to actually say these words. He just needs a little bit longer. And Cas is here to stay. Dean’ll work up the courage he needs and then it’ll be alright.

 Charlie is dancing with Maria and Eileen is sitting next to Cas. She’s taken her shoes off and is likely complaining to the angel that her feet hurt. Cas is holding the wedding bouquet now and Dean knows that Eileen will insist he keep it.

“I wish she would’ve thrown it,” Claire says and Dean wiggles his eyebrows.

“You were hoping to catch it, weren’t you?”

“Shut up.”

 At the end, Jack didn’t show. The party had ended a while ago, but Dean and Castiel are still sitting on a bench outside. It’s a nice night, and Dean doesn’t want to drive home yet. There are no clouds in the sky and the stars are shining bright. Dean reckons that that’s Jack’s doing. He still wishes he would’ve shown his face.

“Don’t be mad at him,” Castiel says while leaning on Dean’s shoulder. “You know he doesn’t do that well with a lot of people.”

Yes. That is true but still – he hadn’t even come to congratulate Sam? He also still hadn’t come to meet Maria yet. Dean wonders what work a God has to do. Didn’t Jack say he wanted to be hands off?

“Don’t you miss him?” Dean asks.

“Every day,” Castiel replies.

Castiel raises a hand towards the sky and Dean sees a shooting star. But the star stops after it passes Cas’ hand.

Castiel retracts his hand and there’s a golden orb floating above his palm.

“What’s that?”

It glows brightly and it’s almost too much for Dean to look at. It compels him in the same way it tells him to stay away from it. Where did it come from? Why is it here? What’s it going to do?

“Divinity,” Castiel quietly replies and closes his hand, making the orb disappear.

 *

 “Dean, really?”

Dean sighs. He knew it was a mistake to talk to Sam about this. But he knows that Charlie would’ve squealed in his ear and honestly, Claire is still a bit too young for this to talk about it. And yeah sure, Eileen would’ve been an option but even after all this time, Dean still hasn’t improved on his signing skills.

“I know it’s stupid.”

“I didn’t say that. But have you even choked up an I love you?”

Dean is quiet.

“Oh my god, I knew it. Dean, you can’t just propose like that!”

“...shut up.”

He pockets the box inside his jacket. He doesn’t want to propose right now anyway. It’s more like a promise to himself, that one day he might be worthy of this. If – when he’ll find the words one day, he’ll be good enough for Cas. He can be.

He will be.

For Cas, the best thing that ever happened to him.

For Cas, who still thinks he’s barely tolerated.

For Cas, who sees the world as more than it is.

For Cas, who loves so much and has never been loved in return.

 Their first kiss doesn’t quite happen as Dean would’ve imagined it – not that he had ever been imagining it in the first place.

Cas is watching Dancing With The Stars and he’s really fascinated. Apparently, he’s never danced before. Dean’s never told him about Garth and Bess dancing in front of the window. He wonders how they’re doing now. Maybe they’re dancing right at this moment, while Sam and Castiel are finally asleep?

“Dean, please?” Castiel’s blue eyes are pleading and Dean has a hard time saying no. Cas always asks for so little and Dean’s always liked dancing when he got a chance to do it – which sadly is not often. So he sighs and stands up from the couch, offering his hand up to Cas.

“Might I have this dance, milady?”

Cas blinks at him in question, and then looks at the outstretched hand. At last, there’s a smile stealing itself across Castiel’s face and he gently takes Dean’s hand and hauls himself up.

“Of course, my lord.”

Dean chuckles and pulls Cas flush against him. It’s been a while since they were this close together without one of them on literal death’s door. Cas is alive and warm under his hands and Dean starts swaying. He’s never danced a real dance, much less so with another man. But it’s not like Cas could dance at all, so it’s okay. And besides – it’s not about the skill, it’s about the experience. And Cas –

Cas is laughing. It’s a happy laugh and he enjoys himself. It’s truly a sight to see. It’s rare to see Cas so relaxed and Dean feels more than privileged to witness this much less be the cause of it. Dean swirls Cas on the spot and as the swirl ends, Cas stumbles forward against Dean’s chest. Dean holds him tight and it’s a good feeling.

Cas’ hair is brushing against Dean’s chin and he feels calm. He gently puts one hand on Castiel’s cheek and Cas nuzzles into it. Castiel’s hand is loosely laying on Dean’s chest and the volume of the TV playing in the background is already fading away.

Dean’s in love.

He’s in love with Castiel.

He gently directs Castiel’s face upwards and looks at the big, blue, blinking eyes.

He doesn’t understand how he got to be so lucky.

Dean bends down, just a little, and ever so gently presses his lips against Castiel’s mouth.

It’s a quiet kiss, one that doesn’t require anything.

“Dean,” is all that Cas says afterwards but Dean quietly hushes him.

“Shh,” he replies and kisses him again.

It’s easier than anything else he’s ever done.

He doesn’t remember why he was ever afraid of this.

This, right here, is where he’s meant to be.

With the TV running in the background, in his shitty apartment, in worn-out clothes, with a dog sleeping in her bed, kissing Castiel.

Sometimes things are just easy.

Dean holds Castiel tight and thankfully, Castiel doesn’t speak.

It’s the most comforting silence and Dean cherishes it.

He’s in love.

 *

 It’s a soft thing, after. Nothing changes and yet, so much is different.

He kisses Cas in the morning before he goes to work; in the afternoon when he returns; when they make dinner; when they watch TV.

It’s the easiest thing in the world.

And yet, Dean knows that Cas wonders.

I know you don’t love me.

But Dean does. He just can’t say it. If he did, then – then what would John say? Dad would judge him for this. Dad would call him a girl; and a fairy; and tell Dean that Dad hadn’t raised a gay son.

 He’s still thinking about this in bed. Next to him, Cas is fast asleep, holding onto Dean’s arm. Miracle is snoring in her own doggy bed.

“I love Cas,” Dean says toneless into the dark room and is instantly overcome by anxiety. Somehow, even after all these years, he expects John to bust through the door and expose him and nail him to the cross or something.

He turns to his side and looks at Cas. The angel looks so relaxed in his sleep and Dean gently pats his hair. Cas mumbles a bit and burrows closer to Dean as if to seek warmth. Dean puts his free arm around him and pulls him as close as possible, tucking the angel under his chin.

He doesn’t know what to do. Cas deserves to be told. But whenever Dean thinks it might be the right time for it – then there’s John standing in the distance, observing and judging him. Dean knows he just has to do it, that he just has to push through. Dad is dead and nothing can happen anymore. But this fear is far too ingrained inside his brain. Maybe writing a letter would help? But somehow it doesn’t feel like enough.

Dean needs to say it.

He has to say it.

But he can’t.

He can’t.

For all his bravery, for all his courage – he can’t.

 “A bird learns to fly when it falls.”

Cas is not in bed when Dean wakes up.

“Water will whittle away the mountain.”

Cas is nowhere to be found inside the apartment. Miracle is quiet.

“A flower will break through the concrete.”

Dean panics. In his panic, he runs outside.

“Long after its death, a star will remain in the sky.”

 Outside it’s foggy.

But there is Cas.

Cas is standing outside, barefooted, and Dean is rooted to the spot.

There are golden orbs floating around Castiel.

Divinity, Cas had called them.

“Cas,” Dean breathes and the angel turns around.

“Hello, Dean.”

 “What are those?”

“I’ve told you. Divinity.”

“Yes, I know, but what are they?”

“A burden shared is a burden lifted. Ever since I woke all the way back before time existed, a great many stars have died. And still, some remain in the sky. Did you never wonder where they go?

Their physical form shall burn from velocity, but what about the stars? What about them? Who catches them? Where do they go? Shall they forever be lost in space?

I was lost too, you know. I was lost ever since the start. Sometimes I think I remember. Sometimes I think I remember an all consuming light in the dark. Sometimes I think I remember the beginning before it ever began. Sometimes I think I remember the void, the naught.

And then, just as quickly, I lose it again.

Why did Father abandon us?

Why did He create so many of us, if none of us mattered?

Come with us, the stars whispered to me, we have no answers but mayhap we shall find them.

Why did the stars exist, if only to die? I didn’t want them to be lost and so I collected them. I found them in the void and I took them with me for I thought I might find a purpose within them. And in time, they started finding me. I became their haven, their destination.

But still, I was lost. Each time a star would find me, I think I can see the light in the void again, the end after the end. But soon these memories are gone, too, and I can only hold on to scraps. And I wonder.

What if I don’t remember at all? What if what I see are just fragments from the stars, showing me what they saw in their last moments?

Dean, you must know: time is not linear. What happens before will happen after. The end happens before the start and sometimes the beginning happens in the middle. This time, this life is just one stream amongst them all.

Some stars tell me of the end; and others tell me of the start. Maybe some tell me of the middle. And maybe some tell me of all, and all I get is the light in the void at the start.

I’ve wondered.

Why am I broken?

Why am I, of all the angels, the only one that’s cracked?

What went wrong?

Why was it only ever me? Why wasn’t perfect like the others? Why weren’t others cracked as I was?

Why was I the only one that’s ever looked to the stars and collected them?

What if Father never made me?

What if – what if I was created by something else?

And if so, what was it? And why? And why did Father allow me to continue existing? Did He perhaps just not notice? Did He perhaps just not care? Did He perhaps just think me merely another insignificant angel that He needn’t pay attention to?

What broke the connection?

Why am I the only angel to love you?

Was I whole before, perhaps, but if that was so – what shattered me? What put me back together? Where did the missing pieces go?

The light I remember in the naught – what is it? Where does it come from? Why does it matter at all, why do I care if it lights up the void or not?

Why do I cling to a light that does not matter?

I –

I’m lost, Dean.

Amidst the stars, I am lost.

From here on out, where do I go?”

 Dean reaches out.

Castiel is standing there all alone, surrounded by what remains of the stars – surrounded by divinity.

He takes Castiel’s hand.

“Go with me,” he says.

“I love you,” he says.

Amidst the stars, Castiel smiles.

Dean thinks he can see the light that Castiel spoke about.

It’s a soft, shining light and it’s free.

 *

 “I don’t know if I can.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a big thing, Cas, you know? What if I fail?”

“Then we’ll fail together.”

 Dean buys a corner lot. It’s very expensive. But he has a dream. He doesn’t want to work construction forever. He deserves to be happy. And Cas is here. Cas is here, and Sam is here, and Eileen is here – and everyone is here.

He’s not alone and he can rely on all these people. They want to help him; they want him to be happy. He can do this. For the first time in his life, he can do something solely for himself.

For the first time in his life, he doesn’t have to depend only on himself.

 *

 Sam hoists Maria out of the car seat. He wants to go and help Eileen out of the car but if he did, she’d kick him in the shin.

“Are there no balloons?” Maria wants to know. Sam looks up. True, there are no balloons outside.

“I’m sure Uncle Dean’s got some inside, sweetheart.”

Maria grins from ear to ear and hugs her monkey toy harder. Cas had given it to her just a few years ago. It hadn’t even been her birthday; he had just wanted to give something to his niece. Sam is glad that they get along so well. But sometimes he debates: should they tell her that Cas is an angel? It’s not a problem right now, but he and Dean and Eileen will start aging one day while Cas will not.

But, ah well, it might be best to cross that bridge when they’d get there.

“Hunter’s Rest is a nice name,” Eileen says when she finally steps next to Sam. Sam just nods. It’s true. Sam had kept suggesting Roadhouse, in Ellen’s and Ash’s and Jo’s legacy but Dean had always refused. Dean hadn’t wanted to be a copy-cat of what they’ve been.

Dean wants something that’s his own.

And Sam couldn’t be happier for him.

It was a long road, getting here, and even now he could scarcely believe it.

But the Hunter’s Rest is officially opening today.

He smiles at Eileen, takes both his girl’s hands and enters Dean’s bar.

 “Uncle Dean!”

Maria yells as soon as she spots her uncle and throws herself at his middle from across the room. Dean laughs and catches her. He lifts her up and holds her on his hip.

“How’s my favourite tornado?”

She giggles and hugs him tight.

“Where’s Uncle Cas?”

“He’s still in the back, sweetheart. Be nice to him today, okay? It’s not a good day. But I know he’ll be happy to see you, so why don’t you go say hello?”

Maria nods with a solemn expression on her face. She knows about Uncle Cas’ bad days. She shouldn’t be too loud on these and she has to understand that he might not want to play as much with her. She loves Uncle Cas. She wouldn’t tell this to anyone because she knows Uncle Dean would be upset, but Uncle Cas is her favourite. There’s a glow about him that she can’t explain to anyone, but it draws her to him.

Uncle Dean puts her on the ground and she goes to find Uncle Cas. When she finds him, he smiles at her. He looks tired and sick, but he glows so brightly today.

“Hello, Maria,” he greets her.

She steps closer and climbs into his lap.

“I love you,” she says and Uncle Cas hugs her tight.

 “Looks good, Dean,” Sam says to Dean in the meantime. Dean grins and pulls his brother close. He nods at Eileen who waves back.

“How are we coming along?” he asks her and she rubs her stomach.

“Good,” she replies, “the doctor says it’s two.”

“Two, huh? Man, Sammy, you dog!”

Sam laughs and Dean slaps him on the shoulder.

“Maria was really hoping for some balloons,” Sam says and Dean shrugs.

“I have some in the back, but I don’t know if I should hang them up. It’s gonna be a few hours still until official opening, you know?”

“Are Charlie and Stevie coming?”

“Yeah, Charlie’s gonna help me set up the music. The others are coming too, but Donna can’t make it. Some important thing came up but she’s gonna drop by in the coming days.”

Sam nods.

“There should be balloons,” Eileen pipes up and Dean sighs deeply.

“Fine,” he says then, “but y’all are helping me with that. I ain’t the only one blowing these things up.”

“I overheard,” Cas says as he’s rolling out of the back in his wheelchair. On his lap, there are Maria and a big load of balloons.

Dean sighs. “Why am I being set up?”

Castiel smiles at Dean. “Because balloons make everything better. We should’ve gotten glitter, too, you know? We’ll help, Dean.”

 “Bad day, huh?” Sam asks him while they are placing the balloons. Dean nods.

“Last couple days actually. Yesterday was the worst; he wouldn’t even get out of bed. The day before that, he spent almost all day puking into the toilet. But he’s getting better now, I think. It’s just – I know that he’s sick. I know that these days happen and that they’ll happen again, it just – it just fucking scares me, y’know? Knowing that there’s nothing I can do, no spell to find to cure him or anything – it just makes me feel so helpless.”

Sam puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Dean, you’re doing great. What you’re going through – what you both are going through – is extremely stressful. I can’t even imagine. I can’t imagine all the hurdles you had to go through to get here. How scary it has to be to wake at night and see Cas being sick again. I’m proud of you, Dean. I really am. You’re holding it together so well and if – if you ever have to break, I’m here for you. We’re all here for you. You’re not alone. You’re never alone, Dean.”

Dean huffs out a laugh and turns to hug his brother.

It’s true.

Their lone journey is over.

They started with just the two of them.

But they’re never going to be alone again.

 *

 “I love you,” Dean whispers into dark hair.

“I don’t know when I fell in love. I don’t know when I realised. But I love you. I love all of you.

We’ve endured a great many things, you and I. We fell and rose together, we burned and crashed together. And in all this time, you weren’t even supposed to be there. But you were. You fought and clawed your way back to me every single time, and I’ve never even said thank you. I never once appreciated all the pain and misery you had to endure just to get back to me.

No matter what, you were there. You were there for me and Sam when nobody else was. You stayed by your side since the very beginning and you overturned everything you believed in because you started to believe in me. You had faith in me, the man without faith. And through you – you became my faith. I believed in nothing, I had faith in nothing – except you. I had faith in you. When you were gone, so was my faith gone. And when you returned, you brought it back with you.

When we met, you told me that good things do happen.

For so long, I didn’t believe you. But you were right. And know what? That good thing that would happen to me was right in front of me. And we didn’t know. Neither of us knew. Who could’ve imagined?

A man afraid of flying and an angel afraid of falling.

We really did meet in the middle, huh?

I’m sorry, Cas. I never did right by you. All your life you thought you were wrong because you weren’t like the others. You always believed that you needed to atone for your sins someway. And I – I didn’t help you. I made you think that you were expendable, that you weren’t worth anything. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, because I was wrong.

You’re worth everything. You matter so much, Cas – to me, to Sam, to the world. I’m sorry that all of us have fallen short. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll make it up to you for all eternity, because I love you. If you’ll have me for whatever reason, then I’m yours. And I’m never going to let go. If I lose you, I will stop at nothing to find you again.

It’s you and me. Now and forever.”

“Look for the light,” Castiel whispers into the darkness.

“Look for the light and you’ll always find me there.”

 *

 At the end of a long, long life, Dean opens his eyes.

Above him, there’s nothing but endless stretches of blue sky.

Dean sits up and looks around.

He’s in an onion field and he stands up.

He turns to the side and sees him there.

 There’s a trench-coat angel standing in the onion field, surrounded by the golden orbs of stars.

The wings behind him are magnificent and have the colour of a rainbow.

 Dean starts approaching him.

Behind the angel, there is a massive tree.

 “Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

[rupertgayesarchive]

That ask and your answer about what if Sam was out of hunting and never left Stanford because Gabriel wanted to stop the apocalypse and threw him into a pocket dimension and I’m like. Obsessed. primarily with gabriel and how Sam would go.

I think he would stick Sam in a like… you remember when Zachariah stuck sam and dean in the office job and it was a parallel universe but also it was real life? like coplanar planes, I think Gabriel would elect to do that instead of his you’re going in my alternate universe, because it’s less detail consuming and I think Sam would notice small things that were off like how he figured out it was him in mystery spot.

You said Sam deserves to have the apple pie life but if he was comfortable with that it wouldn’t like.. work he wouldn’t be ready to ever confront Lucifer or anyone. i agree but also I don’t think he would stick with his normal life. like in the zachariah episode he had a normal life and fake memories of that but he still wanted to hunt and help people and also figure out wtf was happening. I think in this scenario Sam would still be psychic because I love that but Gabriel would probably try like… suppressing his visions and such, because they would lead him back into possible angel business. I think he’d still get little snippets because that’s fun and having reminders in that that the supernatural like.. exists and ppl are getting hurt, I think that would overrule his want of complete normalcy and even his spite toward John.

I don’t think he’d go back into hunting like, completely because I want him to have something good and also be semi well adjusted. but like we saw in the terrible life episode I think he’d like.. if he got bored and started looking up strange deaths well now he has to go help them!!

also it is sooo fun to me if he starts realizing something is wrong but he doesn’t know what. like in mystery spot I love that trope sooo fucking much also in s1 sam gets back into hunting through John Winchester style revenge quest and I want to give him a reason to start poking around that is like.. for himself and not anybody else. he can have a little obsession over it as a treat because i like seeing him be a bitch <3

i think initially when Gabriel found out the apocalypse was like in motion and Sam was at Stanford he’d have an opportunity there to do something without revealing to other players that he is alive because he was pretending to be a trickster. like he’s very much in this for self preservation and if he did some time traveling shenanigans, or disappearing both Winchesters and maybe even Adam out of nowhere, I think he’d worry that the angels would take notice. Randy your vessels!! But Stanford gives him a natural window to hide a key player. he needs to do away with Adam too so Lucifer can’t possibly have a true vessel to fight.. maybe he can kill him in a freak accident because I find that funny. sorry this is long and it will be getting longer

anyway I think as time went on Gabriel would pay like less meticulous attention. he’d still keep away like key players but as other people also started trying to stop the apocalypse he would become more relaxed also he’d be overconfident in himself like in changing channels. I think this would lead sam to notice more stuff that just doesn’t make any sense and maybe start looking for dean or even his dad, or going out of his way to look for hunts. maybe get involved in magic because i think he deserves to be a witch. wait actually that’s how he should find Dean. i think Gabriel would hide Dean from Sam and vice versa, and he didn’t foresee Sam using magic or anything. Also at this point it’s been years and I think Sam is more invested in this than his like… normal life. he’s more well adjusted but I can definitely see him just impulsively quitting his job to figure out what the fucks happening. Also I think he’d feel animosity at dean during this for not being there and not helping him, even though that anger doesn’t make complete sense. sorry i like the early seasons salmon dean reconciling and learning to like each other and sam realizing Your Parents Are People and I would like to see it with them having like, completely different lives and also some fun miscommunication bc of Gabriel. also sam having to reconcile dean having cas OHRHDHJ also dean and cas trying horribly to cover cas being not human is so fucking fun to me. unless this happens during a cas is dead time period which is fun in a different evil way.

I also think dean would only stop looking if he though Sam was dead, but I think… Gabriel might have hidden him but other people ARE still meeting him even with like altered memories. so I think angels or something can sense that Sam is alive but they don’t know where and I think they’d gloat and use it to taunt dean that he is like.. suffering while his brother is living a perfect normal life. Also because this adds another miscommunication that can be discussed and end in reconciliation in a way I don’t think would feel contrived and is in line with it the characters. it’d be Amelia s8 but Sam would be like (Sam voice) I did look for you!!! where were you when I needed you! also I want Sam to find out John died and he’s in absolute despair while cas is standing there like oh yes that’s so awful your father was an. absolutely a man😔😐🏳️‍🌈

idk when this would occur and i think every season offers like… different flavors of enjoyment for an audience of just me. like s7 proto widower arc?? Sam reconnecting with Dean during TMWWBK when he is not familiar with the dean and cas dynamic and has to be witness to Trying So Hard To Be Loyal. additionally that would be fun because bobby is there and dean is like, covering his ears and back talking bobby regarding cas. and if they’ve taken pains to hide cas being an angel Sam being like .who is this to Dean. is suchhh a fun concept.

WAIT post goodbye stranger. or maybe Sam can show up pre goodbye stranger to watch dean go from clingy after cas gets back from purgatory to wrongfooted to like ANGRY. well not Angry… to dean having dean emotions. when cas is off with the tablet ignoring him and he feels betrayed. and this Sam isn’t as close to him so he doesn’t know ANY details until Dean stats divulging them as they reconcile. ALL GOOD OPTIONS..

also if this happens during s6 i think it would be nice if cas started collecting allies, and at the same time as Sam trying to figure out what was keeping him away from dean and the angel business Cas could figure it out FIRST and use Gabriel as an ally against Raphael but he’d feel like he has to hide it from dean and sam. like in this scenario. actually any time I talk about s6 hypotheticals Cas’ conflict IS the A Plot. the Winchester’s were on a side quest idc. s6 is a fun time for these reasons but i don’t like it as much because Cas is still in the process of like.. formative development.

okay one last thing I’m SOOO sorry for my essay. you said if Sam was dispossessed the apocalypse would just.. not happen. i agree to like, a certain degree, because I do think they could have found another way but all of them would have been dust compared to swan song. so maybe Gabriel semi succeeded but instead of stopping the apocalypse he just… prolonged it. this changes a lot but if either Michael or Lucifer didn’t have a viable vessel I think the angels would scramble to actually for real stop the apocalypse but others would still want it to happen even if it was like.. Perfect they just want it to be over. this provides angel politics which I am in love with and we can still have like TMWWBK development for cas. I don’t know where I’m going with this sorry

op this is a lot, this is so much. i love it, i hope you have a google doc open somewhere and are typing away furiously.

now i didn't rewatch a lot of spn past s3 (surprise) in part bc i can't handle the brain damage and some scenes are seared into my cerebral cortex in a way that induced a temporary bout of eidetic memory, meaning i'll never forget the crypt scene in Goodbye Stranger for as long as i live. that being SAID, my s6-s7 knowledge is not as firmly coalesced. so because of that i'm letting your thoughts roam free as i don't know how accurate my own takes would be? but i feel like without sam there, like... hm. would dean even be the same person... would the past however many seasons even OCCUR remotely similar with sam out of the picture for literal years? we might be looking at a completely different world at that point.

my other theory is that the s2 plot of special children - we know azazel was raising a new 'crop' of psychic kids. i think that was a plot thread that they ended up dropping anyway, but if they didn't i do wonder if we'd be dealing with a lot more shenanigans like in s1 and s2 except with kids? and dean and cas trying to figure out what to do with these young psychics that might be turned into a vessel for lucifer or - whatever they wanted to do with those kids. hm.

i also question if purgatory would be a thing. like it probably would come up and be on the table, but maybe the godstiel arc wouldn't, bc if like you're saying dean and cas are together at this point, like. cas might have grown to love humanity (not just dean but like 99% dean) to the point where he might not be doing this risky gambit for more souls. and if gabriel is still around, cas may start petitioning gabe to help throw his archangel weight around against raphael while he tries to do the actual strategizing.

i think sam would still have his visions, like you said, and then maybe those lead him to dean or to a case that dean is also on? or if angels are more well-known later on, he tracks one down, maybe cas, maybe not (if it's NOT and it's one that works on raphael's side. ohoho. the possibilities...)

[writingfromkitchenator]

Agathokakological

Artist: @dmsilvisart​

Beta (if applicable): @emmagan

Rating: M

Word count: 13,829

Warnings: Blood, mentions of torture, violence, near death experience (major character), fatal injury, subtle loss of control from spell

Other important tags: Magic, canon divergence, powerful character, love spell, obsession, vaguely set during season 11, hidden past

Crowley x Original Female Character

Other characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel, Gabriel, Lucifer, Balthazar, Rowena, Chuck

AO3 Link

The absolutely amazing art is shared below!  I cannot thank @dmsilvisart​ enough, I absolutely adore it!

Summary: After being hit by a love spell, Luna has to adapt herself quickly to try and prevent her past being brought to light, as well as stopping her friends from getting themselves killed.  In a time of crisis she knows there’s only one person she can trust, as she always had, and Crowley finds that he still can’t tell her no.

The spell had been rushed, launched as a final distraction to ensure a getaway, and the fact that it made contact, was even better.

Just not for Luna.

She was unharmed, much to her initial surprise, but after a few moments, it began to sink in as to what the spell was actually effecting.

Castiel hauled her to her feet, earning a startled yelp, and he brushed her down rather roughly, surprising her completely.  This behaviour was completely unlike the angel and she didn’t really know how to take it for a moment.

“Are you alright?” He asked.  “She didn't hurt you did she?”

Luna managed to free herself from Castiel's grip, letting out a sigh as she heard the Winchester’s approaching.  “I'm fine, I don't know what it did, or was meant to do, but I'm fine.  I feel fine.”

Castiel stared at her, unconvinced, and she realised that there's something different about the way he looked at her.

Her gaze was dragged away by Sam and Dean bursting in.

“What happened?” Dean asked rather angrily, bee lining for her, his eyes doing a quick scan of her.

“Rowena got away,” Luna said.  “Whatever spell she was intending to use on me, was incomplete, so it didn't work. I'm fine.”

Dean stopped short of her and Luna found herself looking at him and then to Sam.  The same look was in their eyes as Castiel.

“Are you guys okay?” She asked, a worried feeling beginning to bubble up in her stomach.

“Just worried about you,” Sam said, finally putting his gun away.  “I think it's time we got away from here.  We can track down Rowena later.”

Luna was stunned when Castiel and Dean agreed.  “We've been chasing her for months and you guys are going to call it quits?  Just like that?  For all we know, she’s just in the next room.”

“For now,” Dean said, he took her arm and started pulling her from the room.  “But right now, we need to get you checked over and safe.”

She stopped dead, frowning, Dean looking back at her.  “I told you guys, I'm fine, but the three of you are acting really weird.  If I didn’t feel the impact, I would’ve said that the spell hit you.”

“I'm not acting weird,” Dean said, letting his hand drop.  “But we do need to get out of here.  The spell could have a delayed effect, the sooner we are safe, the sooner we can check.”

It didn't stick, something about the way he said it just didn't make sense, and Luna stared at him until he shrugged.

“Come on Luna,” Sam stepped in close.  “I think we could all just use a moment to regather ourselves.  We'll go get some food or drink or something.”

Luna had no idea what to say to this and even looking back at Castiel didn't help, his gaze intensely on her, as if he wanted to stride over and just teleport her away.

“Okay,” She said, but kept herself out of anyone's reach.  “If you guys insist.”

It got even weirder when they made a stop at a gas station.

Luna ducked in to grab some snacks and she quickly took notice of the clerk’s eyes following her around the store.  The hair on the back of her neck started to raise up, a million possibilities flooding through her mind.

She made her way to the register and as she put her collection of items down, the clerk interrupted her.

“Free of charge.” He said, his cheeks quickly flushing red as she met his gaze, an eyebrow raised.

“I'm sorry?”

He seemed to swallow a growing lump in his throat.  “F-free of charge.  Anything you want, you don't have to pay.”

Luna frowned.  “I can't do that.  How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing!” His voice rose an octave till he cleared his throat.  “Anything for you.”

There it was again, that odd look in his eye, and something slowly began to dawn on her.

The bell sounded, Dean entering.  “You all good Luna?”

“Uh huh,” Luna said slowly and looked back at her items.  “You know what, don't worry about it.”

She left quickly, even as the clerk sputtered after her, the awkwardness leaving an odd weight on her shoulders.

Sam's frown was full of concern.  “Are you okay?”

“No,” Luna said, quickly getting back in the car.  “But leave it.  I need to think.”

When Dean returned, he was ladened down with food.

“Seriously dude?” Sam asked as Dean dumped it all in the car.

“What?”  Dean shrugged.  “The guy was insistent, kept rambling on about not wanting Luna to starve. I don't know what you did to him before I walked in.”

“I didn't do anything,” She said, frustrated.  “He wouldn't stop staring at me from the moment I walked in.”

Castiel, who, up until this point had remained obstinately silent, suddenly disappeared from the seat next to her, making her jump.

The three of them quickly looked over as there was a crash from the gas station, Castiel holding tight to the front of the shirt of the terrified clerk.

“Cas, what the hell man!” Dean was out first, quickly followed by Luna and Sam.  “Put him down, he didn't do anything.”

Luna stared at the tenseness in Castiel, her previous theory slowly becoming more prominent.

“Cas, put him down.” She said firmly, earning the angels gaze.  “I mean it Cas, staring is nothing to get upset over.”

Slowly, Castiel put the terrified young man down, an unmistakable look of anger in his eyes. “He made you uncomfortable.”

“I'm sorry!” The clerk squeaked.

“At the moment, all of you are making me uncomfortable,” Luna said, a little angrily.  “Now, I don't know what's going on, but we're all going to calmly get into the Impala, and we're going to go home, got it?”

There was silence for a moment before Castiel nodded and Dean shrugged, both heading to the car.

Sam lingered behind her. “Luna-"

“Sam, if you dare ask if I'm okay, I will tell Dean to leave you here.”  She said, quickly striding past him as his face flushed red, the doors closing behind them.

Silence sat heavily in the car all the way back to the bunker, the thought of chasing down Rowena long gone from any of their minds.  Luna was now more concerned about whatever this spell was doing to those that were around her.

It wasn't until they pulled into the garage that Luna realised that there were going to be three more people in here to contend with, ones she currently didn't want to test her theory on.

Getting quickly from the car, ignoring the three men's looks, she hurried to her room and shut her door.

“The spell hadn't been ready,” She said to herself as started to pace.  “So why do I have a feeling that this was still the intended effect?”

Luna knew magic, knew it better than most of them, she could recognise an incomplete spell when she heard and felt one, so why was this having so much effect on her?  It didn’t make sense, she couldn’t understand it, but she knew that there was a good chance that she was going to have to try and fix this on her own.

“Hey sugar, what are you hiding in-”

She jumped as Gabriel popped into her room, stopping mid-sentence, his head tilting as he stared at her.

Luna groaned.  “Oh Gabe, come on, I came in here so I wouldn’t be seen, not to mention the fact that I’ve asked you not to do that.”

Gabriel frowned slowly at this, and she could see his mind working, but there was no missing that now familiar look in his eyes.  “Why would you not want to be seen?”

“Because something is happening, and I was trying to avoid anyone else being affected by it,” She said, a note of desperation in her voice.  “I was hit by a spell and-”

“Are you alright?” He asked suddenly, looking her over quickly, as if expecting to see an injury.  “You’re not hurt are you?”

“No!”  Luna snapped and rolled her eyes.  “For the last time, I’m fine!  If you all actually listened to me-”

Her room disappeared around her and she froze, finding herself out in the main room of the bunker, all eyes turning to her.

“Oi, what did you knobs allow her to get hit by a spell for?”  Gabriel asked Sam, Dean and Castiel angrily.

“We didn’t let her do anything,” Dean said, frowning.  “Rowena got lucky.”

“She’s fine Gabriel,” Castiel said.  “She assured us that she wasn’t hurt.”

“But who knows what else it’s doing to her!”  He said and the four of them started to argue.

Luna was preoccupied though, very aware of the other two gazes now on her too.  As cautiously as she can, she casts a look to the other side of the room, and refrains from flinching, both Balthazar and Lucifer staring at her.  If she didn’t know any better, it was like the two of them were seeing her for the first time, much like Gabriel’s stare had been, and the more she thought about it, the more she thought that Castiel, Sam and Dean’s had been almost the same way, she just hadn’t been paying attention to it.

The one that scared her most was Lucifer, something dark in gaze, and she had to quickly drag herself back to the argument at hand as voices began to raise.

“Stop.”  She said it so firmly and loudly that a silence sat in the room.  “All of you will stop this right now.”  They all stare at her and she takes a deep breath, trying to stop the racing of her heart. “Thank you.  Now, and I’m going to make this very clear.  Whatever your reactions and or feelings currently are about me, I believe that that has been from whatever spell Rowena hit me with. So, I need you all to calm down, and think rationally about this.”

Sam was first to react, frowning at her.  “If the spell was affecting us, we’d know it Luna, and it hit you, not any of us.”

Luna shook her head. “Not necessarily Sam, it depends on the nature of the spell that she cast, and judging by what all of you have been doing since you saw me, it was to cause utter chaos.”

Another moment of silence passed through the room.

“I’m sorry,” Balthazar said finally.  “Just what reaction am I meant to be having?”

She sighed.  “That’s not helping.  Don’t you think that I can see it all in you?  You’ve all been acting differently since you’ve seen me after I was hit with that spell.”  When they still all just looked unconvinced, she makes a frustrated grunt, glaring at Castiel, Sam and Dean.  “Why do you think that that clerk reacted how he did?  He saw me and something changed!  Look at all the free food he gave us because of me!”

“Free petrol too,” Dean said, his grin quickly faltering at Luna’s glare.  “Well what was I supposed to do?  Leave him a credit card so he can charge me when he feels like it?  He might’ve just been trying to get fired, you don’t know.”

“Fired, right.”  Her gaze moved to Castiel.  “And your reaction?”

Castiel’s cheeks tinged pink.  “I didn’t like that he was making you uncomfortable.”

“Why was he making you uncomfortable?”  Gabriel asked quickly.

“You don’t need to know.” Luna said quickly.  “All you lot need to know is that it was because of the spell.  Gabriel, you yourself were fine when you burst into my room, but as soon as you saw me-”

“How uncouth.” Balthazar said, looking at Gabriel. “I’m pretty sure she’s asked you not to do that.”

“Well, excuse me for being worried when she didn’t reappear with the three musketeers here.”  Gabriel said hotly.  “I don’t see either of you making an effort.”

Lucifer’s smirk set Luna’s teeth on edge.  “What do we need to make an effort for?  I do believe any decision that needs to be made, needs to be made by Luna.”

“And what makes you so sure she’ll pick you?”  Gabriel asked, cutting Luna off.  “The last I checked, she couldn’t stand your guts.”

“In all fairness Gabriel, she’s never really liked any of us,” Balthazar said.  “If I do remember correctly, there have been a fair few colourfully worded insults thrown our way.”

“I’ve got a few more if you keep talking like I’m not here.”  Luna growled, but they either ignored her or didn’t hear her.

Gabriel smirked. “And it’s absolutely killing you to admit that, isn’t it?”

“At least he will admit it,” Lucifer drawled.  “Unlike you, constantly popping in and out of denial.”

“Denial?  You’re really going to compare me to the Winchester’s and yourself?”

“Hey!”

“Well, you have spent enough time around them.  I have more important things to worry about.”

“You guys don’t get to just put that on us.  You lot are hardly perfect yourselves, even for angels.”

“That’s hardly fair Dean, you’ve tried to kill her before as well.”

“Because I was a demon!”

“And like that makes things any better.”

“Like she’s going to pick anyone that’s been down that road.”

“That makes you a saint in comparison doesn’t it?”

“I’m sure we could come to some sort of arrangement Sam, then we may just both get what we want.”

Back and forth the arguing went, each point making Luna just feel worse, both in anger and in the bad feeling sitting in her stomach.  When she tried to talk again, and again her voice fell on deaf ears, she huffed and stormed back to her room.

In her room, she dug out a permanent marker and quickly drew a symbol on her door, and then shoved her dresser in front of it, ensuring that she wouldn’t have any visitors.  It wasn’t perfect, and she knew that there was a chance she would need to get properly out eventually, but for now, it was enough to be able to think.

Luna sat on the edge of her bed, resting her head in her hands for a long moment.  She was worried that the argument may get worse, but she also hoped that her presence not being there, would help ease the tension in the room.

She stared at the floor, unsure of where to start.  The internet wasn’t going to be of much help, and all the books she could’ve needed were out with the others.

Huffing, she lets herself flop back onto the bed, working several options through her mind, each less impressive than the last, until she finally had a thought on one person that would potentially be able to help.  Whether he would or not, would be another question.  It wasn’t that they had a bad relationship or anything, in fact, she’d probably known him the longest out of anyone, but it was more she didn’t know how far she could push the friendship.

Crowley had looked at her like she was crazy, and while she knew it definitely wasn’t a normal request, she was fully in her right mind.  “This is important Crowley.”

“I had figured,” He said calmly enough, but it was clear that he was a little on edge.  “You do realise though what sort of target this is going to put on you?”

Luna shrugged.  “No one knows me bar you, maybe the princes, but none of them have really been seen in years bar Azazel.”

He remained unconvinced.  “And Lilith?”

“Okay, and Lilith,” Luna huffed.  “Honestly Crowley, I don’t give a damned about any of them.  None of them know this. That’s all that matters.  None of them control me and you are the closest one I know to be able to trust you with this.”

“Terrible idea really.”  Crowley said flatly.  “No matter how much I know you’ll torture me if it ever gets out.”

Luna sighed heavily, scowling at him, losing patience.  “Look, will you do it or not?”

Crowley pursed his lips, thinking for a moment longer before he nodded.  “I’ll do it, but I want you to know, I do not like it.”

“And your price?”

“I’ll think of something,” He said with a casual shrug, his usual smirk tugging at his lips.  “For now, though, let’s just leave it at that.”

Luna shook her head of the memory, just one of the many that she had, some not so peaceful.  She didn’t know why, but she had to keep believing that Crowley would help, no matter what, because the danger of thinking otherwise was something she wasn’t sure she could face.

Hesitantly, she took out her phone and scrolled through till she found his name.  She had no idea how to start a message, just staring at it for a long moment, until she knew that she would have to get straight to the point.

It seems your mother has given me a wonderful gift after hitting me with a spell.  I’m sure that’s bringing up all sorts of questions in itself, but let me just say that 1. Don’t come and see me, and 2. It’s a pain in the arse; I’ve got six men arguing over it already and a store clerk that couldn’t stop staring.  Can you help?

Luna hit send before she talked herself out of it, and then held her breath as she waited for a response.

She was pleased when it didn’t take long.

That’s awfully vague and amusing.  I take it the whole not seeing you part is from the effects of the spell?

She lets out a breath and feels herself finally relax slightly since all this started.

Good guess.  I’m almost worried that they’ll start killing each other, but if I can get rid of this spell, then hopefully I can stop that too.

I don’t know, sounds like an ideal scenario to me.

There was a loud crash outside, making Luna jump.

“Ow!”  Gabriel’s voice said.  “Why would you lock us out Luna?”

“Because I have more important things to deal with than listening to you lot argue over me,” She said hotly.  “So you’ll all just leave me alone, got it?”

“Come on sug-”

“No Gabriel.  Go away.”

She turned back to her phone.  I’m sure it does, but it’s not for me.  I’m almost 100% sure that Lucifer would ensure it was him that would win.

There was a long moment of silence to this, one that had Luna more than a little nervous.

That’s hardly going to be good for anyone.

No shit Crowley.  Can you help or not? I'm a little stuck here.

Isn't it a good thing I owe you favour?

She sighed at this, knowing that it would come up.  It had been Crowley that had introduced her to the Winchester's, the two of them having worked together on a few things before, although neither of them were particularly happy about it.

When she made friends with them, he was nothing short of amused, and while it didn't change much between them, it changed enough.

It might just be enough for us to be back to even.

Crowley smiled at the message and shook his head.  “Ah love, if only you knew.”

Leave it with me.

Without much thought, he teleported to the bunker, and he actually took a moment to look at the six men sitting there, all looking rather miserable.

“Having a pity party are we?” He asked.

He knew it was bad when no one, not even Dean or Lucifer, said anything smart back.

Sam sighed, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.  “Luna is locked in her room.  It seems we succeeded in upsetting her.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow.  “And this is a good reason for the mood because...”

“Why do you think Crowley?” Dean huffed, picking at the label of his beer. “What are you even doing here?”

“Entertaining myself,” He said lightly, although he was currently thinking back to her messages.  “A little birdy told me you were all miserable sods, so I came to see for myself. I can’t say I’m disappointed.”

When he still didn't receive any sort of response, he knew things were bad, and as much as Luna had warned him, he needed to see her to be able to tell just what sort of spell was at work.

“Hello darling,” He said, appearing in her room, making her jump. “I have to say, you have wonderful company.”

Luna was instantly anxious, as if expecting something to happen as she looked at him.  “Crowley, I told you not to come and see me.”

“I know,” He said.  “But if you want me to find out what's going on and how to undo this spell, then I'm going to have to try and work out what's hit you in the first place.”

She stared at him for a long moment, searching his eyes.  “You're not...affected?”

Crowley tilted his head.  “You seem completely normal to me love.  I certainly don't see any need to be wallowing in my own pity like that lot are.” He smirked.  “Maybe I should take a few videos, it is quite amusing.”

“I would much rather not have any memories of this, thank you.”  Luna said, looking miserable and frustrated. “At least I know they aren’t fighting anymore.”

“Then I definitely would’ve taken videos.”

Luna sighed but finally smiled a little at him.  “Cute Crowley.  Do you have any idea what this is like?  I feel like I’ve become the centre of their whole attention.”

Crowley hummed in thought, looking her over.  “Well, whatever magic has hit you is currently hidden from me, which means there is a good chance that we are going to need my mother to remove it.  Do you feel any different?”

She shook her head.  “No, nothing. The spell winded me for a moment and knocked me back, but that’s it.  I would’ve said it was incomplete, but the longer that this goes on, the more I’m doubting what I saw and heard.”

“Which was?”

She repeated what she heard Rowena say, or, as close as she could remember it.  With all the current distractions, it hadn’t been a top priority, and when Rowena had even hit her with the spell, she’d been more occupied in trying to take the witch down.

Crowley thinks again.  “Alright, give me a moment.”

He reappeared back with the others, all still looking rather miserable. Dean had successfully peeled the label of off his beer and was now spinning the bottle on the table.  Sam was trying to keep himself focused on the book in front of him, but it didn’t stop him constantly looking up or rubbing the back of his neck.

Castiel seemed content to stare at the floor where he was sitting, his foot tapping occasionally.  Gabriel stared down the hall and Crowley just knew that he was itching to see Luna. Balthazar hummed away to himself, pretending to be distracted by a glass of wine and a book, and it seemed that Lucifer was intent on staring at him, trying to be annoyed.

“What is wrong with you all?”  Crowley asked, finally, understanding Luna’s discomfort, an odd air sitting in the room.  “What is going through your heads to just be sitting here doing nothing?”

There were a few shared glances, but it was Gabriel who answered, finally breaking his gaze away from the doorway.

“You’ve seen her,” He said, sounding miserable.  “Don’t you feel it too?  We love her.”

Crowley blinked.  “I’m sorry?”

“I love Luna.”  Gabriel said loudly, standing and puffing his chest out with pride.  “And I’d like to see any of you challenge it.”

Dean glared at him.  “Dude, we all love Luna, and it’s not a competition.”

Murmured agreements came from all of them and Crowley couldn’t help but stare at them, it slowly clicking that Luna had realised this already, which was why she’d asked him not to see her.

But then, why hadn’t he been affected?  They had known each other a long time now, but Gabriel and Lucifer were archangels, they were meant to be some of the most powerful beings there were. He had little doubt that this was no simple spell, especially to provide such a result, but it was certainly nothing he’d heard about before, which was no small feat.  Luna was the only person that had ever done such a thing before.

“How did you even find such magic?”  Crowley asked frowning, but then shook his head, a little angry.  “Don’t answer that.  Why would want to go through with such magic?”

Luna wouldn’t look at him and this bothered him even more.  “You don’t know what it’s like Crowley.  None of you do.  This is the only option I have.”

“Only option…Luna, there is nothing wrong with you now.”

She shook her head, giving him a small smile.  “You are saying that simply because of how much I’ve done for you lately.”

“Rather effortlessly,” He said flatly.  “But that is beside the point.  You were naught but rumour and speculation when I was first thrown into this hole, and I have told you since I found you that you have potential to take the top bloody job if you wanted to.  There is nothing wrong with that.”

“I don’t want the top job,” Luna said, her eyes flashing in anger for a moment so she dragged her gaze away.  “I want to be normal.”

“Normal is boring darling.” Crowley said.  “You cannot ask this of me.”

“It’s going to take me time to gather what I need anyway,” Luna said, turning away. “Think about it Crowley.  I’d rather not do this alone.”

Crowley had watched her go, had felt helpless to do anything, and had a growing worry that this was going to be something well out of his control, not that she was anyway.  Somehow, the whole time they had known each other, they had just worked off of a healthy respect of the other.

He admired her strength.  She admired his tenacity.

Crowley continued staring at the men in the room, a brief thought flickering through his mind, about how that hadn’t changed between them, even though it really should have.  He quickly forced it away though, wanting to deal with the problem at hand.

“Right,” Crowley said, a little slowly.  “And this has all been since you’ve seen her after she was hit the spell?”

“Well, you should bloody know,” Dean growled.  “You’ve seen her too.”

“Of course,” Crowley lied.  “Just making sure.  You do all realise that this is magic at work?”

There was a mumble around the room and Crowley’s frowned deepened.

“It feels like I’ve felt like this forever,” Castiel spoke up finally. “Every memory I have with her just makes me…makes me feel…”

Sam looked up, interrupting Castiel.  “You can see her right Crowley?  She hasn’t blocked you from her room?  Maybe you can tell her that we’re sorry?”

Crowley stared for a long moment before shaking his head.  “I am not an errand boy Moose, so that’s no can do. In fact, her and I have something much important to attend-”

His words stuck in his throat and he could feel Lucifer’s gaze burning into him, a curl in his lip as he snarled.  “Watch your tongue dog, or I may just rip it out.”

Pain flared in his throat and Crowley held up a hand, it easing away just enough so he can talk.  “I’ll do what I can to help, but you lot need to not intervene.  She’s upset enough with you already.”

Lucifer stared at him coldly for a few more moments before letting him go, Crowley instantly teleporting back to Luna.

“It’s a love spell,” He said as she stared at him.  “A rather powerful one too.  They’re all practically ready to fall at your feet.”

“I was afraid of that,” Luna sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “It is actually bad enough that they’ll start killing each other eventually right?”

Crowley nodded, adjusting the collar of his shirt.  “Considering Lucifer almost killed me for just mentioning spending time with you, yes.  I won’t go back in there in a hurry.”

Luna flinched.  “Sorry. I didn’t think it would put your life in danger.”

He tried to shrug it off.  “It’s witchcraft darling, if that’s not life threatening, I don’t know what is.  The question now is, how can we fix this before it gets that far?”

“Well, unless you know of another powerful witch, then we’re going to have to find your mother.”  She said, even as he looked less than impressed.  “I don’t like it either, she’s already hit me once today.”

They were cut off by a knock on the door, Sam’s voice coming through. “Luna, can we talk please?  I’m sorry about all this.”

Luna sighed.  “Now is not a good time Sam, maybe in an hour or so.”

“Look, whatever is going on, we just want to help,” Sam said earnestly. “Maybe I can even just look through some books for you?”

Crowley rolled his eyes, but Luna held up her hand, stopping him.

“Could you do that for me Sam?”  Luna asked.  “Do you know of any books that have anything on love spells?”

“Love spells?”  Sam echoed for a moment.  “Maybe, I’ll have to check to be sure, I know there’s at least one potion, but spells…”

“That would be great if you could do that for me Sam,” Luna said softly, making Crowley fold his arms.  “Just…don’t tell the others.  This spell is going to get worse before it gets better.  I don’t…need anyone fighting over me.”

“I’ll see what I can find Luna.”  Sam said and they heard him walk away.

Crowley stared at her, making her roll her eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that,” She said, gathering a few things from her draws.  “You and I both know that Sam is good at this.  If he can find something before the two of us find Rowena, then so be it.”

“And I thought I was the manipulative one,” Crowley said, but he doesn’t miss the slight awkwardness in her look.  “And who said you were coming with me?”

Luna frowned.  “Come on Crowley, you know that it’ll be easier to find her with both of us, not to mention dealing with her and getting her to remove the spell.  Plus,” She glanced at the door.  “I really don’t want to stay here with that lot, especially if things start to go bad.”

“Are you running from the danger or towards it?”

“It’s a rock and hard place and you know it.”

Crowley chuckled and took her arm, the two of them teleporting away from the bunker.

The last place Crowley had ever thought to look was in some small backwater town in outback Australia, and yet, this was where all the small clues he’d scrounged up had led him.  Almost instantly, his nose screwed up at the heat, far too reminiscent of Hell for his liking, and then he stared at the dirt and the dust and sighed.

If someone was pulling his leg, there was going to be hell to pay for this.

It only took a few questions before he found what he was looking for, and he went out into the very emptiness of the area, just making out a small house in the distance. He was quick to make his way over, but he quickly froze, staring at the shotgun pointed at him.

“I know it won’t do much,” Luna said coldly, sitting in a chair on the porch.  “But it will certainly make me feel a lot better. Get lost before I make you.”

Crowley held up his hands.  “Now, now, that’s hardly a way to greet a guest.”

“Guests are invited,” She snarled.  “And you were definitely not invited.  I won’t tell you again.”

“I promise I’m just here to talk,” Crowley said slowly.  “And I’m the only one that knows you’re here bar rumour and specula-”

The gun went off and he staggered back several steps, before he sighed.  “-tion.  Was that really necessary?  That does still sting.”

“And I warned you.”  Luna reloaded.  “I won’t hesitate to shoot you again.”

Crowley pursed his lips.  “Well, I guess I’ll just go and report to Lilith and Azazel where you are then. They were the ones that put me on the trail of this to begin with.”

Luna stared at him for a long moment before she slowly lowered the gun.  “Why wouldn’t you report to them anyway?  Seems odd for a low little demon to disobey his betters, especially when it could get him killed.”

“Low little demon indeed,” He brushed down his suit, annoyed as he looked at the holes now scattered through it.  “I didn’t get this job just for the fun of it darling.  I’ve worked quickly through the ranks and I’d like to keep it that way, which means I need others outside of the ranks of Hell too.”

She took a moment to process this, observing him, and Crowley waited as patiently as he could, trying not to squirm under her gaze, knowing she was seeing a lot more than he would’ve liked.

Finally, she chuckled.  “Alright little demon, what do you want from me?”

“Obligatory question first, even though I know what the answer will be.”  Crowley said.  “Will you come to Hell and help Azazel with his plan?”

“Nope.”

“Right,” Crowley nodded.  “See, normal conversation isn’t so hard is it?”

Luna just raised an eyebrow at him.

“Right,” He said again.  “Second question.  What are you doing in this god forsaken place?”

“Staying out of the way and passing the time,” Luna said simply.  “It might be hot, but I’m less likely to come across demons accidently, until you of course.”

“There’s nothing out here,” Crowley frowned, but shook his head.  “Whatever.  Now that those two are out of the way, would you be willing to work with me?”

“And what would you offer in return?”  Luna waved her hand as he went to speak.  “Don’t feed me bullshit about keeping me hidden, I’ve been doing that well enough since I escaped Hell, and certainly don’t feed me anything about protecting me, I could smoke you where you stand.”

Crowley refrained from smirking.  “I know where the witch is, or at least, rumours of where she was last.”

He got the exact reaction he was looking for, Luna tensing and slowly leaning forward in her chair, suddenly taking this much more seriously.  “Is that so?”

“I found you, didn’t I?”  Crowley asked innocently.  “A witch should be no problem after you.”

“And just what exactly do you know of witches?”  Luna asked.  “Not to mention, how do you know you can find her when I couldn’t?”

“I have my sources,” Crowley said.  “I thought the more pressing question you would’ve asked would be how did I know exactly who you are?”

“I’ll get to that.” Luna stood, and gestures to the front door.  “But you might as well come inside first.  I hate to think of any other demon or angel getting a whiff of me here talking to you.”

He blinked, having not expected this so quickly.  “Just like that?  You also don’t even know what I wish of you.”

She smirked back at him.  “Unless you’d rather stand out in the sunshine Crowley?  I’m sure a heavy sunburn would suit you.”

Crowley stared after her for a long moment before it clicked she knew who he was too, but then he grinned and followed.

The two of them appeared in the warehouse that they’d been at earlier, Luna letting out a steadying breath as Crowley lets her go.

“That’s still mind spinning,” She said.  “No matter how many times you’ve done it.”

“We’ll, there is an easy solution to that,” Crowley said, but then looked around the space.  “So where did dear old mother get too?”

“She ran out that door,” Luna pointed to the side of the room, ignoring his first comment.  “After hitting me with the spell.  Of course, those three were more worried about me than following her as soon as they saw me.”

They moved to the room, to see a small puddle of blood on the floor, Crowley raised an eyebrow.

“I may have shot her,” Luna said a little sheepishly.  “The bullet grazed her leg, or, that’s what I thought.”

“Oh, you won’t find me complaining,” Crowley said rather cheerfully, seeing small spots of blood on the floor.  “And look, we even have a trail to follow.”

Luna smiled and shook her head as she followed after him.  That would definitely never be a relationship she understood, if it could even be called that at this point.  Like most of their odd little group, they always seemed reluctant to kill each other.

“I still can’t believe you let yourself get hit by a spell,” He said casually as they walked together, following the faint trail of blood.  “Another spell.  After everything you’ve been through, I thought you were actively avoiding anything with witches.”

“I was,” Luna said.  “But when the boys practically begged for my help in pinning Rowena down, I could hardly say no, no matter how much I wanted to.  I never thought I’d end up on the end of another one though.  It’s certainly not preferable, and I still can’t decide whether it was better or worse than the first one I got hit with. At least the second was what I wanted.”

“You could just break that one,” He said, watching her out of the corner of his eye.  “And then break this one yourself.”

“And bring an even bigger mess back?  I’m good.”  Luna said. “It took me too long to do what I did in the first place Crowley, I’m hardly going to tear it down just like that. You know that.”

“Shame,” He sighed.  “It’d be good to have you back at your full potential.”

“You mean it would be good to have someone powerful on your side again?” She asked, grinning as he shot her a look.  “Come on Crowley, you can admit it to me, I’m not an idiot.”

Crowley snorted.  “I would never say such a thing.”

“As in you won’t admit it or won’t call me an idiot?”

The blood trail ends and Crowley frowned at her.  “Can we get back on the task at hand please?  I can’t say how long we’ll be left alone out here, especially considering two of those currently in love with you are archangels.”

“You don’t need to remind me,” Luna chuckled.  “But there is one more thing I have to ask.”

Crowley paused and frowned, a trickle of worry rolling down his spine, although he wasn’t entirely sure why.  It had been some time now since she could see things in him, but he currently had nothing to hide, so it was an irrational thought.  “What?”

“Did you ever tell anybody?”  She asked, smiling.  “That wasn’t so painful a question now, was it?”

He stared at her for a moment before he sighed and gave a small chuckle. “No and no.  Considering I helped you…put it away, I hardly want to be facing any fall back for it, and with the attention you’re now receiving, it is an uncomfortable thought that any of them could find out.”

Luna nodded, still smiling.  “I guess we should hurry it along then.  All the angels do have the capability of finding out of course.  In all honesty, I’m actually surprised that they haven’t.”

“They aren’t the brightest.”

She laughed.  “True, but do be careful not to push that line too far.”

Crowley rolled his eyes and let her lead through the closest door to look for anything further on where Rowena could've gone, his eyes following after her.

Worry sat in his stomach, and had he not been a demon, would've made him feel rather ill.  The thought that anyone else could find out about her, could understand or undo what had happened, he wasn't entirely sure he could live with that scenario.  It was irrational, considering the ease of the alliance that they had over the years and into now, but this had been something that was her choice.  He’d hate to see that taken away.

“You wanted immortality.”  Luna growled low, approaching the wounded and terrified witch.  “You wanted to survive the world through the ages, and yet you cursed someone like me to Hell.  I hate to tell you this, but that was the stupidest thing you could’ve ever done.”

The witch tried to straighten out, tried to get her bearings again, but as soon as she met Luna’s black eyed gaze, her courage faltered.  “Please…”

Luna snarled and grabbed the witch by the throat, pinning her to the wall. “Please?  Do I look like I care about your pleas?  Now, where is it?”

She whimpered, holding her tongue.

“Oh, so you were courageous enough to kill me when I was human,” Luna said coldly. “But now that I come back practically as death itself, you are nothing but a snivelling coward.”

“What do you want from me?”  She managed to get out.

“I want it back.”  Luna spat. “What do you think I want?”

“B-but you can’t use it anymore…”

“Do I look like a give a damn?”  Luna snarled. “Your death is going to be slow and painful, that I promise, but you can save yourself a whole lot of torture beforehand by giving me what I want now.”

Tears filled the witch’s eyes.  “Please…please don’t kill me…”

“You don’t get to ask me that.”

The witch’s screams were more than satisfying for Crowley, but he still couldn’t help but frown, not realising that the witch would have anything she could’ve taken from Luna when she cursed her.  It was a development that he hadn’t been expecting.  As far as he’d been concerned, the two of them had been more than honest with each other during all this build up to here.

Now he was questioning everything.

The fight the witch had put up had been a decent one, but it was quickly clear that she was no match for Luna, and it was really the first time that Crowley had seen her use any sort of her power to its full capabilities.  He had little doubt that she was the strongest demon to have ever existed, which was both dangerous and exciting.  He was the only one that knew she still existed.

But now he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d tell him exactly what was going on.

The screaming stopped, turning into wheezing sobs and Crowley watched Luna tuck something quickly into her pocket.

“There, now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”  Luna said coldly.  “You witch’s all think that having magic makes you untouchable, that it gives the right to do as you please without consequences.  Well, guess what, I’m the consequence.”

Luna stepped back, letting the witch slump to the ground, letting a silence fall for a long moment.

“Would you like anything done with her?”  Crowley asked.

“I’m thinking.” Luna said, glancing at him.  “I don’t suppose Hell would take a witch for a while?”

Crowley smirked, knowing where she was going with this.  “I’m sure I can come up with something.”

The witch tried to mumble something that sounded like ‘no’, but they both ignored her.

“Good,” Luna turned away from her.  “I’ll be happy if I never have to see her again.  I’ll leave that to you, of course, right now, I need to get away.”

He didn’t have a chance to say anything, Luna disappearing, and leaving him less than pleased.  The witch continued to sob and for a long moment, Crowley thought.

“What was she after?”  Crowley asked.  “What was it that you took from her?”

Crowley had been less than pleased when the witch had told him what it was, happily locking her away in Hell with an excuse he could no longer remember.  The harder part now, apart from trying not to be angry at Luna, was trying to find out how it gotten that far in the beginning.  He spent a long time thinking of a way to broach the subject, but as it turned out, she approached him first, asking him to look after it.

Which he still wasn’t happy about, especially when she turned herself human.

And yet, here he was, still by her side helping her with whatever she needed.

His thoughts lingered on it all for a long moment, watching as she followed the blood trail, and again, that thought came up and niggled him, causing him to internally scowl at himself and push it away once again.

The blood trail disappeared in one of the back rooms, and they could both tell that Rowena had stopped to either heal or bandage the wound.  They hoped that she wouldn’t have gone far.

“Crowley,” Luna said slowly, a frown coming to her, the thought just occurring to her.  “You don’t think Rowena knows, do you?”

He didn’t like the idea any more than her.  “I don’t see how she would, and if she did, I’d like to think she had something more impressive than a half formed love spell up her sleeve.”

Luna looked about as convinced as he felt, and as much as he wouldn’t argue with her returning to what she was, he also knew that there were a fair few dangers involved with it.

“Right,” Luna sighed and then tugged a small bag out of her pocket, Crowley raising an eyebrow at her, making her give a small smile.  “Don’t give me that.  I do what I have to do survive.”

“That I know,” He said flatly.  “But perhaps you should let me do it?  I’d hate to think that magic could conflict with magic.”

She hesitated a moment, but tossed the bag to him, Crowley catching it easily.  “I guess I picked the right person to help me then.”

Crowley snorted, pulling a pinch of powder out from within.  “I’ll try not to take offence to that.”  He muttered a few words and blew the powder, it shimmering in the air for a moment before gathering and moving outside the building.  “Let’s go get ourselves a witch, shall we?”

Luna sighed.  “Again. We should stop meeting like this.”

He chuckled, leading the way.  “Or you could stop asking, but then I’d really know something was wrong.”

She smiled after him, shaking her head as she followed.

For once, it seemed, fate was on their side, Rowena looking less than impressed as they caught her trying to get out a locked door.

“Well, isn’t this cute?”  She asked, looking between the two of them.  “I suppose a few words had you eating out of her palm?  I’m surprised none of the others she’s come across has joined you.”

“Oh, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to,” Crowley said rather cheerfully. “And since one of them is Lucifer, I’m pretty sure he could settle the score rather well.”

“Is that supposed to scare me?”  Rowena scoffed.  “If you really thought that, if you weren’t terrified of him yourself, you would’ve already brought him along.  Now, what can I do for the two of you?”

“Get rid of the spell,” Luna said before Crowley could say anything else. “Get rid of it and clear everyone that’s been affected.”

Rowena rolled her eyes.  “Oh yes? Just like that?  Sorry dear, the spell is permanent.  You’re just going to have to learn to deal with the consequences.”

There was a dangerous flash in Luna’s eyes, one that reminded Crowley of what she had once been.  “Just like that.  I’m not here to play games Rowena.  I want it gone, and I want it gone now.  They’re all going to kill each other soon enough if it’s not.”

“That would be a pity, I’m sure.”  Rowena said, and they watched closely as she tried to shift a little.  “But I can’t say that none of them wouldn’t deserve it.”

“While I’m sure we can certainly say Lucifer deserves it,” Luna said coldly.  “I can guarantee he would come out on top.  I don’t really feel like losing all my friends today, or any day for that matter, no matter how much they are currently convinced they love me."

Rowena tutted and looked at Crowley.  "Doesn't it just break your heart to hear her say that?”

Crowley raised an eyebrow.  "And why should it?  I am not effected by your spell, so whatever else is laced in there means little to me."

There was something about Rowena's look that neither of them liked.

A charming smile crossed her lips.  "Is that so?  Well isn't that interesting.  I'm sure then that you'll feel no compulsion at all to jump in to save her when things go wrong then?"

Crowley and Luna frowned at this.  "What do you mean go wrong?"

"Well you were correct in your assumption that they will get violent," Rowena said innocently.  "And more than one of them will probably die, but then the real kicker of the spell? They'll turn on you.  If one of them can't have you, none of them will."

"No," Crowley's voice was quiet.  "Remove the spell now mother."

"I have more important things to be doing I'm afraid.”  She said sweetly.  "So as much as I'd love to stay and chat, I really must be going."

No!"  Luna took a step forward, but Rowena was quicker, launching her backwards with a wave of her hand, her body slumping.

Crowley found himself powerless and immobilised as Rowena turned to him.

“Oh, I'm sorry Fergus," She patted his check as she walked over. "But I would tell her before it's too late.”

Rowena left, anger curling in Crowley's blood, even as Luna groaned, sitting up, giving a small shake of her head, before she focused back on the room, seeing what had happened.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate witches?"  She grumbled as she limped over to him, breaking him free from the spell.

"Many a time, and the feeling is mutual."  Crowley growled, glad to be free of that quickly.  "Our chances of finding her now are slim."

Luna scowled.  "Almost makes me wish...” She shook her head.  "Doesn't matter.  We better get back before they do anything.”

Crowley pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to her.  "Your head is bleeding."

"Oh, thank you.” She dabbed at the wound.  "I'm just glad I wasn't unconscious long. That could've been disastrous.”

He nodded, but he was still watching her, something about Rowena's comment getting to him, although he didn't understand exactly why, or more, he didn’t want to understand why.

Luna sighed, the blood not easing.  "I'm dreading walking into the bunker like this.  It's going to be disastrous, especially when they are all an edge with each other as it is."

Crowley stepped forward and applied a little more pressured to the wound. "Have you ever thought what it would be like to go back?"

She met his gaze with a sad smile.  “Many times, but you know as well as I do...”

His expression is grim, his jaw set.  He knew, he knew what she was trying to do, but he still had a feeling that it would never work.  Spell or no spell, demon was ingrained in her blood, and she was always going to be one now, no matter what the spell did.

Luna could read him still, even after all this time, and she knew he still wasn’t happy about it, no matter what she said to change his mind.  If she didn’t stick with what she felt was right though, then she was going to be miserable, and if she could get things back in control...

Luna stared at the pile of ingredients in front of her, going over her mental list again to ensure she definitely had everything.  Crowley was watching her, still looking unconvinced, but he remained silent, waited for her to talk to him.

Finally, she let out a slow breath and met his gaze.  “Is everything in place?”

Crowley nodded.  “Set and ready to go as soon as this is done.”

She hummed absently.  “Good, and the Winchester’s don’t suspect anything?”

“Darling, if they did, they would be on to you already.”

She gave a nervous smile.  “Relax Crowley, it’ll work out fine.”

He snorted.  “I think it’s you who needs to relax.  If you really want to go through with this, then do it now, before you have time to convince yourself otherwise.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to change?”

“I don’t,” He admitted.  “But this is your choice, not mine, just as all of this has been your choice.”

Luna flinched and began preparing the ingredients.  “Not all of it.”

“I meant between us Luna.”

She smiled at him, a sadness in her gaze that he'd never seen before.  "Whatever happens, I do want to thank you.  You've given me a freedom back that I haven't had in a long time."

Crowley does his best to keep his expression passive.  "Don't get to sentimental on me darling, I might just change my mind about helping.  You are a damned good demon after all,"

"I wouldn't say that," Luna shook her head slightly. "More just...stuck in the middle I guess."

"Nothing is black and white Luna."

"I know,” Luna said softly.  "We both know.  Now, let's get this over and done with."

The spell had worked, almost too well.  After everything she'd been through, she was basically human again, but Crowley knew, as did Luna, that the spell was hanging on by a thread.

Still, the plan went on.  She came across the Winchester's on a ‘hunt’, one carefully organised by Crowley to gain their trust.  Luna was good, almost too good, but they eventually let her in.

Crowley didn't like it then, and he liked it even less now.  She deserved better than this.

Luna comes out of her bathroom, the two of them safely back in the bunker. Things were quiet, but right now they couldn't sense any harm being done, so Luna focused on cleaning up.

"How's that?"  She asked, angling her head for him.

"Very normal," Crowley said.  “But you know that's not going to stop the angels from sensing your pain."

"I know, but I can't do much about that." She rolled her eyes at his look. "It's not that simple Crowley.  The destruction it could cause alone-"

"Could potentially level the bunker.  I have always said the place needs redecorating."

Luna laughed softly, shaking her head. "Come on, let’s go make sure everyone is okay."

Crowley caught her arm as she went to walk past and he hesitated for a moment, a bad feeling sitting in his stomach, but as she met his gaze, surprised, he faltered.

“Just…be careful.”  He said quietly.  “We don’t know how bad this has gotten.  If you were still…you know…I wouldn’t have to…to…”

Luna smiled and patted his hand.  “Come on Crowley, we’ll be alright.  It’s not like I want to go out there, I’d rather not have others obsessing over me, but right now, we’re the only ones that know what is really happening, meaning we’re the only ones that are going to be able to fix it.”

Crowley let out a slow breath and forced himself to let go of her arm, watching her smile again and head to the door.  His bad feeling grew, but he pushed it down.  She was right, and he had to trust her as he always did.

The bunker was far too quiet for either of their liking as they went out into the hall, and Crowley watched her fingers itch a little towards her gun. Something wasn’t right.

Whatever had happened while they were away, was nothing good.

Something was burning, and Luna instead pulled out her angel blade, Crowley following suit.  Both of them knew that smell, having used holy oil multiple times over the years, and it only set them more on edge wondering what had happened for that to come out.

The first thing they saw were Sam and Dean tied to chairs, both trying to get themselves free, mouths gagged shut.  The next was Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar trapped within a circle of burning holy oil.

Neither of them got a chance to react to what was going on, Crowley suddenly launched away from Luna’s side, leaving just her facing off against Lucifer.

“That was uncalled for,” Luna said, a note of coldness in her voice, glaring at Lucifer.  “Crowley has been helping me, and by extension, helping you.”

Lucifer shrugged, unfazed, holding her gaze.  “He’s still just a demon, by rights, I should just kill him now and be done with it.”

“Really?”  Luna asked, keeping Crowley in the corner of her gaze as he slowly gets up, glaring darkly at Lucifer.  “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.  As much as none of you here seem to think otherwise, I do prefer him very much alive.”

He scoffed.  “And what hold does he have over you to have that reaction?  You are a hunter, by right-”

“I should be killing you too,” Luna said.  “As the supposed epitome of evil as you are, but life is just a little more…complicated than that, isn’t it Luci?”

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed on Luna and she could see him pause, an implication in her tone that he didn’t quite understand.  A tense air began to fill the room, and all eyes were on Lucifer and Luna.

“Leave Luna alone Lucifer,” Gabriel said, trying to edge himself as close as possible to the circle of flames.  “She’s the victim in all this, and needs us to help, not hinder.”

“I’m not the one that’s armed,” Lucifer said, gesturing lazily to the angel blade in her hand.  “So clearly she was expecting some sort of fight.”

Luna huffed and threw down the blade, it clattering to the floor.  “No, actually, it was a precaution.  Did you have something you wanted to say?”

Lucifer looked from her to the blade and back, even as all the others in the room grew more agitated, included Crowley, who was now back on his feet and trying to edge forward a little without gaining Lucifer’s attention.

“You think it’s a spell,” Lucifer said slowly.  “Had little Sammy there looking things up.  You could’ve easily just asked us to check.  If there was, we could’ve gotten rid of it.”

“It is a spell,” Luna said.  “And I got Sam to look because he’s been the most sensible about all this, no matter what you all think.”

“But you still didn’t let him near you again.”

“No, I didn’t,” Luna folded her arms.  “Because the less contact you all had with me while this spell is on me, the better.  Of course, after finding Rowena, I realised that contact or not wasn’t going to make a damn bit of difference, so that’s why we came back to check.”

“And-”

“Crowley is unaffected,” Luna cut him off as his gaze went to move to Crowley, getting his attention back on her.  “That’s why he has been able to properly help.  Now, I’m only going to ask you this once, Lucifer, please let everyone go, so we can sort this out in a civilised manner.”

Lucifer looked unimpressed, his eyes narrowing on her.  “And just how is the dog not affected?  He is just like the rest of us.  This is assuming I even believe you about the spell.”

“I don’t have answer for that,” Luna said.  “It could have been the result of the incompleteness of the spell, or it could just be that it doesn’t work on demons.  I’m sure there are other reasons, but you are avoiding my request.”

He stood and approached slowly, perhaps a little cautiously, her previous words still in the back of his mind.  “Yes, because none of these idiots deserve you.  I’m ensuring that we won’t be interrupted.”

“Crowley, stay there,” Luna said, holding Lucifer’s gaze as Crowley tried to inch further again.  “I’m alright. He is not going to do anything to me.”

“Forgive me if I don’t exactly believe you.” Crowley muttered under his breath, but against his better judgement, he didn’t continue forward.

Lucifer stood over her.  “And how can you be so sure of that?”

“Well, you can certainly try,” Luna said lightly.  “But I assure you, you will be the one regretting it.”

Crowley watched as Lucifer seemed to consider how to take that statement. Luna had never been specific on how well she knew him, but Crowley knew that nothing good had happened between them.  She had been furious when Sam and Dean allowed him to stay in the bunker, and if things hadn’t been as bad as they were outside of this, he knew she would've left.

Now he was wishing she had anyway.

Lucifer tilted his head at her.  "And just what do you think you can do to me?"

There were multiple shouts at once but Luna was already moving, a second angel blade in her hand as she dodged out of the way of Lucifer’s blow, and swing back in, the blade catching him under the ribs.

It wasn't enough to kill him, but it was enough steal his breath and power for a moment, although the holy oil and ties did not disappear.

The lights in the bunker began flickering, Gabriel building up his power to try and get out.  "Leave her alone!"

Luna's gaze doesn't leave Lucifer, even as she slowly picked up her first blade, watching him pull out the first.  “I’ve been waiting a long time to do that.”

Lucifer glared at her, his eyes red.  "Is that so?  Well I'm sad to tell you that it won't have much effect on me except to piss me off.”

"Then you'll get to feel just a fraction of what I've felt." She snarled.  "Shall I do it again?”

His eyes flashed with power.  "If this is love, then I hate it.”

“You haven't even been close to human, Luci, so you'll never have an understanding of what real love is.”  She spun the blade in her hand.  “I can arrange it though, if you like.  Now that would make me feel better.”

Crowley found himself suddenly frozen, staring at Luna, a lot of things suddenly clicking into place.

Lucifer approached slowly, her blade in his hand.  “And what would you do with angel grace when you got it? You’re nothing but a little human, you have no use for such a thing, even if I did let you do such a thing.”

Crowley loved her.  That was why the spell didn’t work on him.  That was why his worry had been growing for her.  He loved her and he hated that he had never realised it.

“I’d keep it away from you for starters.”  Luna stood her ground.  “Then I’d probably enjoy watching you squirm for as long as possible.  You wouldn’t be able to cope with being human Luci, and that would just make me all the more amused knowing that I was the one that got to do it.”

He had loved her for a long time, long before she’d made herself human again, and certainly long before he’d ever experienced human emotions again. Being a demon had just dampened the emotion, hadn’t allowed him to understand it properly.  He had always wondered why he was so against her being human again, or why the two of them just seemed to fit into such an easy rhythm with each other.  He couldn’t believe that he’d never realised this before.

But then, he thought, he always chased those thoughts away that got even close to this admission.

Lucifer’s expression was a cold snarl.  “You enjoy playing with fire too much, especially for a hunter.  I think it’s time you were taught a lesson or two.”

Crowley loved her and if he let this go on, he was about to watch her die.

Luna smirked.  “And just what makes you think that I’m an ordinary hunter?”

Lucifer took another step and suddenly Crowley was between them.  He didn’t have any idea what he was going to do about it, but this had to stop now.

“Crowley, don’t.”  Luna’s voice was quiet, just for him, tension sitting far too heavily in the air.

There was something in her voice, something that Crowley had only just realised that he used himself.  Luna felt the same for him and it just made him more resolute to not move.

“This needs to stop.”  Crowley said, keeping himself calm, holding Lucifer’s gaze.  “We need everyone, everyone, for what is coming, and going after Luna is madness, no matter how you think you feel.”

“Crowley, please get out of the way.”  Luna took his arm and Crowley’s heart raced, feeling what she felt. “Please.”

“I can’t do that Luna,” Crowley said back, still not moving, wondering whether she had ever seen this in him when she’d still been a demon.  “Now, we can get this spell sorted, we just need more time.”

Lucifer’s eyes flashed and in a movement that none of them saw, everything came crashing down.

Crowley was thrown back several feet by Luna, that old feeling of her power rippling across his skin for a moment, and he had just enough time to catch himself and see what had happened.

It didn’t have time to register before Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar suddenly broke free from the holy oil and rushed at Lucifer, brilliant flashes of light filling the bunker, Sam and Dean knocked backwards in their chairs as the angels fought.  Anger and rage crackled through the air, fuelling the chaos, and Sam and Dean struggled to break free to try and join the fray.

Crowley ignored all that, he caught Luna before she could fall, a shuddering gasp leaving her, the angel blade sticking out from her chest.  His chest ached, knowing she didn’t have long, but it took him a moment to find his voice.

“What did you do that for love?”  Crowley asked, fighting hard to not let his voice break.  “That was incredibly foolish.”

Luna does her best to smile through the pain, meeting his gaze.  “For you, it would’ve been instant death, for me…well…”  She fought to draw in another breath.  “I’m sorry Crowley.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for love,” Crowley gripped the blade and as carefully as he could, he pulled it free, blood blossoming quickly on her chest. “I’m the one that should be sorry. There’s a lot of things that I should have done a long time ago.”

She took his hand, and he hated that her grip is so weak.  “You were right, you know?  I should’ve never have…have…”

Crowley shook his head.  “No, I should’ve made you take the risk, that’s what I should’ve done, then we wouldn’t be in this mess.  My mother could’ve never used that spell and…and…”

Luna gave a weak chuckle, despite herself.  “Then…you would’ve…never…known…”

She knew.  Of course she knew.  Luna always knew.  She knew him better than he knew himself.

He licked his lips, watching her getting weaker by the moment, his heart breaking, and he knew that there was only one thing that he was going to be able to do, consequences be damned anymore, and it honestly couldn’t go more wrong than this.

Crowley refused to lose her.

From his jacket pocket, he pulled a vial, angel grace glittering within, and before Luna can protest, can grab his hand to try and stop him, he pulled the topper off.

Lunvariel was less than impressed when she found herself on Earth, looking around with a slight air of distaste at all the nature surrounding her, before her gaze moved to Chuck, standing a little distance away, watching her.

“What?” She asked.  “I’m sure whatever this is, you could’ve talked to me about in Heaven.”

Chuck was looking at her disappointedly.  “No, I couldn’t.  It would cause all sorts of problems if I did, and after what Lucifer had done, and what I had to do to him, no one needs anymore of that turmoil.”

She raised an eyebrow at him.  “And what exactly am I have meant to have done to deserve that accusation?  I helped you put Lucifer away.”

“Perhaps,” Chuck said slowly, breaking away from her gaze to look around.  “But clearly you have another plan in mind for him. Being in Hell would make it easier to handle.”

“A bigger plan?”  She echoed. “Who has been filling you with that nonsense?  The only plan I have is to keep doing my duty for you.”

“And what is your duty Lunvariel?”

She was starting to get frustrated.  “I look out for Lucifer, Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, as always, as you created me for. I ensure they stay in line, and I put them away when they don’t.”

Chuck met her gaze slowly, and she could see the doubt clearly in his eyes.  “You don’t love humanity.”

“I love it enough,” Lunvariel said flatly.  “From a distance.  Being here is certainly not a preference of mine, but that does not mean I do not care. We all have places that we’re comfortable.”

She was worried, having never seen Chuck like this before, and while she knew Lucifer’s rebellion had taken its toll, she never thought it would have him question her loyalty.  He’d brought her here for a reason, and now she was wondering exactly what it was.

“I’m sorry Lunvariel,” Chuck said softly.  “I do not wish to do this, but if you cannot be honest with me, I cannot take that risk. You will stay here.”

This took her back.  “Stay here? What are you talking about?  I have always been honest with you.  What is it that I am meant to have-”

Her words are strangled in her throat as pain erupted from her back, sending her crashing to her knees, tears filling her eyes.  Her wings burned behind her, burning feathers floating through the air, and she tries to look at him, her chest aching through more than the pain.

Chuck sighed heavily.  “I have no pleasure in doing this.  I do not want to do this.  I have no choice but to do this.  I am sorry.”

“Sorry,” She gasped through the pain, her voice breaking.  “I have done nothing wrong!”

“I cannot trust you saying that,” He said sadly.  “And after all that Lucifer said, I cannot leave you in Heaven.  This is the fairest way to deal with it.”

“What?” Lunvariel tried to get back to her feet, but it was still all too much, she had no strength left in her body. “You’re still going to take Lucifer’s word over mine?  After all he’s done?”

“I am sorry.” Chuck turned away from her.  “If that is worth anything at all.”

Lunvariel watched him disappear, holding herself as tight as she could, tears rolling down her cheeks, anger curling in her stomach.  She was alone and she was human.

The reaction to her grace was immediate, her body arching, and through the chaos of the angels fighting and the lights flickering, the bunkers alarms started blaring, the room blinking between red, white and black.

Crowley backed away as best he could, shielding his eyes, as Luna seemed to burn brightly, surrounded by fire and ash and smoke.  The crackle of power through the air was unmistakable, and soon the lights disappeared entirely, flickering them all into complete darkness momentarily.

Confusion filled the room quickly, but through squinting eyes, Crowley could see Luna moving, could see her kneeling on the floor, large wings forming behind her, heavily damaged, very little of them left, and black smoke seemed to trail from her hands.

Slowly, she rose, her chest rising and falling in deep breathes, and with a sudden move, throwing out her hands, everything snapped back to normal.  Lucifer, Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar were thrown to opposite corners of the room, Sam, Dean and Crowley all back on their feet.  The lights flickered on and the alarms stopped.

There was a moment of complete and utter silence.

“Lunvariel.” Gabriel dared to speak first.  “You’re alive?”

Luna’s eyes opened slowly, burning a vivid and bright blue ringed with black.

“Lunvariel’s a myth,” Balthazar squirmed against her hold.  “And I would greatly appreciate it if you let me go.”

“No.”  She said, all too calmly, her gaze turning to Lucifer, who was watching her, frozen.  “Not until I deal with him.”

Lucifer seemed to recover a little at this, his lip curling in a snarl.  “You want to deal with me, little Lunvariel?  Now that is adorable.  You never had any chance of-”

His words were strangled in his throat, and he struggled as she turned her gaze away, looking momentarily at the trails of smoke still curling around her hands.  Slowly, she flexes her fingers and it eases away, the black in her eyes slipping back to white, although her eyes were no less blue.

“Chance of what, exactly?” She asked, her voice cool and calm. “Because last I checked, keeping you idiots out of trouble was my job.  With Uriel dead and Michael still in the cage, that only leaves me with the two of you to deal with, and seeing as I have no problem with Gabriel…” She looked at him again, a hardness in her gaze.  “And seeing as what you did to me, I think I have every right to do as I please.”

“Hang on a second,” Dean said quickly.  “I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but we need him still, but not only that, what the hell is going on?”

Luna titled her head a little.  “I thought that would be obvious?  I’m sorry to have lied to you boys for so long, but, well, I’m not exactly human. I have been appearing as such to…well, you don’t really need to know that.  Let’s just say I have had a grudge for a very long time.  Crowley allowed me to clear one off of my list, a certain witch who cursed me to Hell, but now I finally have the opportunity to do the other.”

“Angels can’t be cursed to Hell,” Sam said, still looking just as confused as Dean.  “And they certainly can’t be…be…whatever you are.”

She smirked slowly and her gaze returned to Lucifer.  “I guess rules change.”

There was an audible cracking sound as Lucifer was pressed hard into the wall, cracks starting to appear, and despite his struggling, it was doing little against her new found power.

“Get me cursed to Earth, Luci,” Luna tutted.  “Surely you can’t have thought I wouldn’t have held onto that?”

Crowley held Sam and Dean back as they went to step forward, shaking his head.  He knew, better than anyone here, that there was no stopping Luna when she had her mind set on something.  He watched in sheer awe of her, completely out of ideas on what to do next, except to let her do what she had to do.

“Luna, you can’t,” Castiel said, also trapped by her power still.  “We need him!”

“Oh, I know,” She said, the calm tone still in her voice.  “I’m just teaching a lesson and waiting.”

Lucifer was gritting his teeth against the pain, trembling as he tried to fight back but couldn’t. Cracks were starting to appear along his skin, his grace shining through, and they all thought she was about to rip him apart, none of them having little doubt that she could.

The bunkers lights flickered again and then Chuck was standing there.

“Lunvariel, stop.” He said firmly, eyes alight as she glanced back at him.  “I’m here. We can talk.”

The power in the room dissipated and Lucifer dropped with a groan, Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar stumbling forward as they were let go as well.

“You could’ve stopped this at any time.”  Luna said with a lazy shrug.  “You let it get this far.  In all honesty, I’m actually surprised you stopped.”

Chuck’s jaw clenched. “You wanted to talk, so let’s talk, but not here.”

With that, the two of them disappeared from the room.

“What just happened?” Dean asked.

Castiel grunted, brushing his clothes down, looking a little worse for wear.  “She’s gone to speak to God.  I guess I should’ve known by now that we shouldn’t have believed him when he told us she was dead.”

Sam and Dean stared at him for a long moment before they register what he said.  “Wait, Chuck is God?”

“Why was I in love with Luna?”  Gabriel asked, screwing up his nose slightly, rubbing his head.  “That’s…what all that had been about right?”

“If you listened, you would all have realised that she’d been hit with a spell.” Crowley said, feeling like a long explanation was coming and not wanting to be a part of it. “Naturally, it broke when she revealed herself.”

“Why were you carrying around her grace?”  Castiel asked.

Crowley shrugged and waved his hand at them as he turned away.  “None of your business Feathers.”

With that, he vanished from the bunker, leaving them to sort themselves out, but he doesn’t return to Hell.  Crowley didn’t care what discussion she was having with Chuck, or who Chuck even was, he needed to see her.  He needed to know she was truly alright.

He appeared close enough that he was out of sight, but could still hear the conversation being had. In the middle of nowhere, again, it seemed, although at least this time was in the woods, the two of them overlooking a large valley.

“You took an awful risk doing that,” Chuck said, a little sternly.  “Do you even know how much could’ve gone wrong?”

Luna raised an eyebrow at him.  “I didn’t take any risk.  That was Crowley’s choice to not let me die.”

“You and I both know you could’ve stopped it.”  He said. “Even after all this time, you still haven’t learnt anything, have you?”

She laughed, shaking her head.  “You talk of me not learning things, and yet, you are still hiding from your sister, still hiding from the responsibilities of Heaven, and still acting as if I was in the wrong all that time ago.”

“You were.”

“I wasn’t.”  A harsh note entered her voice.  “And you bloody well know it.  You just believed Lucifer’s bullshit.  Even now, you still hurried to his side.”

“If Lucifer wasn’t wrong, you wouldn’t have fallen in love with a demon.”  Chuck said, his voice raising a little.  “You would’ve gone for a human, or you would’ve lived out your days in peace.”

“Is that what you wanted me to do?”  Luna laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that I wasn’t supposed to get captured by a witch, have my remaining grace stolen, and then have that witch curse me to Hell.  Then what?  You really think that I was going to just sit back and let myself be tortured for eternity? You really think that I wasn’t going to take opportunities door as soon as it was knocked on?”

Chuck shook his head. “You’re missing the point.”

“No, you’re missing the point.”  She said coldly.  “Despite what I was doing for you, you always underestimated me.”

“And now look at you,” He looked her over.  “Practically an abomination, certainly not one I created.”

“No, one I created,” Luna said lightly, letting her eyes flash to black for a moment.  “Sitting firmly in the middle, where I belong, because you seemed content to put me there in the first place.”

Chuck huffed and took several steps away, frowning and muttering a few curses under his breath, before he looked back at her, a sadness in his gaze.  “For what it’s worth, Lunvariel, I am sorry.”

She shrugged.  “You tried that already.  For what it’s worth, Lunvariel died a long time ago.  It’s Luna now, and I hope you don’t forget it.”

He went to say something else, watching her for a moment, but thinks better of it, shaking his head and vanishing.

For a long moment, quiet sat in the air.

“You can come out now Crowley.”  Luna said quietly, smiling as he appeared.  “I guess it makes things a bit clearer for you now?”

“Not in the slightest,” He said with a small smile and looking her over.  “Are you alright love?”

She nodded slowly, seeming to think about, and held out her hand for him.  “I will be once you come here.”

Crowley took her hand, the two of them standing there together, watching the quiet of the world, unsure of what was to happen next.

“Thank you,” Luna said finally.  “For taking that risk.”

“I was hardly going to have you die on me now, was I?”  He asked quietly, giving her hand a squeeze.  “After all that, just sending you into the nothingness?  I don’t think so.”

She laughed and shook her head.  “It’s…still not what I was expecting.”

“No,” He admitted. “But we can sort that out.  We seem to be good at doing that together. Sorting things out.”

Luna nodded, casting him a look.  “We are. To think I shot you when we first met.”

Crowley chuckled.  “I clearly didn’t take it personally.”

Again, an easy silence fell, the two of them looking out over the valley together.

“Crowley?”

“Yes Luna?”

“I love you, I hope you know that, no matter what it really means for two people like us, and no matter what others will think it means.”

Crowley smiled.  “I love you too, and I think it means exactly what we want it to mean, others be damned.”

Luna beamed and gave his hand a squeeze.  “So if I asked you to still help me hunt your mother down…”

“Oh, now that would be my pleasure love,” Crowley chuckled.  “Although, we might actually have to thank her for this one.”

She laughed and nodded. “That we might, although, still being a witch, I don’t think I’ll mean it too much.”

They laughed together and, still hand in hand, disappeared to go and find Rowena.

[justmefangirlingoverbuddie]

TV Quiz Questions:

Choose 4 6 of your favourite TV Shows: You should try this out too...

1. Sherlock

2. Teen Wolf

3. Nancy Drew

4. Supernatural

5. Wizards of Waverley Place

6. The Originals

The first character I fell in love with:

Sherlock Holmes

Stiles Stilinski

Nancy Drew

Dean Winchester

Alex Russo

Klaus Mikaelsson

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Mycroft Holmes

Derek Hale (I was really suspicious in the beginning but now he is one of my fave characters)

Ace

Castiel (I LOVE HIM SOO MUCH)

Justin Russo

Freya Mikaelson (I was worried she would be evil at first)

The character everyone else loves that I hate:

Mary Morsten (John deserved better from the beginning)

Cora was kind of annoying

I don't have one .. yet

I think some people agree with me - Mary Winchester

I don’t have one

I don’t hate him but Vincent could be so frustrating

The character everyone else hates that I love:

I don’t have one

Deucalion turned out to be pretty good character - even as a villain

I actually really like Amanda Bobbsey - she’s so sweet. (I just don’t want her as Ace’s girlfriend)

Lucifer - He’s just misunderstood (lots of people agree to with me to)

I don’t have one

I actually wanted Finn Mikaelson to come back

The character I would have sex with:

Sherlock is hot

All the guys on teen wolf- Stiles, Derek, Scott, Isaac, Theo, Liam …..

Ace - I know he would be so sweet

Dean Winchester and Castiel are at the top of my list but if I was being real … all of them

None but only cause I think of them as eternally young

All the Mikaelson men and Marcel and Jackson but first things first Klaus

Who are your five favourite characters (In order):

Sherlock, John, Mycroft, Mrs Hudson, Lestrade

Stiles, Scott, Derek, Coach, Lydia

The Drew Crew- Nancy , Ace, George, Bess, Nick (In order)

Dean, Castiel, Sam, Crowley, Bobby

Alex, Harper, Justin, Max, Jerry

Klaus, Rebekah, Elijah, Freya, Hayley, Kol

Favourite minor character:

Mycroft (does he count?)

Coach - THE FUNNIEST GUY EVER and all of the parents

Ryan Hudson- I want to see his relationship with Nancy grow

Charlie- I miss her so much

Mr Laritate

Hope Mikaelson

A pairing that you love (Romantic and Non- Romantic):

I love Sherlock and John but I really want more Sherlock and Mycroft (the brothers are so cute)

Stiles and Derek- They are hilarious!!!

Ace and Nancy - Nace supremacy

Sam and Dean are the centre of everything but I love Dean and Cas too

Alex and Harper- the besties

Klaus and Hope - he loves her unconditionally

Favourite season:

Sherlock- Season 3

Teen Wolf- Season 3

Nancy Drew- Season 2

Supernatural- Season 4 and 5

Wizards of Waverly Place- Season 4

The Originals - Season 1

Favourite episode:

Season 3 episode 1 - The Empty House

Season 3 episode 18 - Riddled

Season 1 episode 17 - The Girl in the Locket

Season 4 episode 18 - The Monster at the End of This Book

Season 4 episode 21 - Wizards of Apartment 13B

Season 1 episode 21 - From a Cradle to a Grave

Character you would kill off:

Molly - its not that I don’t love her but she’s not essential to the story

Baeden - Sterek needs to happen

Carson Drew - It would be interesting to see how Nancy would handle losing both of her parents

Sam and Dean should have been together in death and life

Professor Krumbs - It would parallel the Harry Potter series with Dumbledore

Marcel should have died for a short time and then resurrected - Klaus would realise how much he loved him

The character that I think the show ruined:

John Watson - He wasn’t ruined AT ALL but he was less impressed by Sherlock as the seasons went on

Kira Yukimura- She deserved better

Nick (Ned Nickerson) - only because he’s really different to his book counterpart but I don’t hate him

Crowley - He didn’t deserve to die at all

Mason - I don’t think it was in character for him to ‘cheat’ on Alex - he loved her

Hope Mikaelson - she contributed to the death of her mother

The most attractive male and female character:

Male: Shelock Female: None (I don’t remember)

Male: Derek Hale Female: Lydia Martin

Male: Ace Female: Bess Marvin

Male: Dean Winchester Female: Bella

Male: Mason Female: Alex Russo

Male: Klaus Mikaelson Female: Hayley Marshall

The character death that was the worst for me:

Sherlock’s fake death - John crying was heartbreaking

Allison Argent - she died in the arms of the man she loved and her dad was devastated

Lucy Sable - she killed herself because of extreme bullying and never got to meet her daughter

The first death of Sam - Dean’s speech made me cry soo much

No one died - that I remember

Klaus and Elijah- They died together

The character that is the most like me:

Molly - I am an awkward fangirl of Sherlock too

I don’t think I am similar to any but Id love to be as charming as Stiles and as brave as Scott and smart as Lydia

I’m not like any of the characters but I think I relate most to George- I too have many younger siblings.

Castiel and I are both awkward AF and I don’t understand enough pop culture references

Alex and I are both lazy AF

I have a temper that could rival that of Klaus

The characters that deserved better:

All of them deserve the world but I think Mycroft deserves better

Stiles and Derek deserve to be happy together

Nancy deserves better. She should be happy with Ace and not have to deal with her dad lying and the Hudsons

All of the characters deserve to be happy on Supernatural - They deserve the world, Dean , Sam and Castiel

Max should have got to keep his magic and be happy with his siblings

All of the Mikaelsons deserved to live happily - Klaus should have gotten to raise his daughter

My four least favorite characters, past or present:

Moriarty (I loved to hate him), Sargent Sally Donavan, Mary

Erica, Mr Lahey , Kali , Meredith Walker

Gil Bobbsey (he’s so manipulative), Everrett Hudosn, Ceila Hudson, Diana Marvin

Metatron, God, Samuel Campbell, Mary Winchester

Gigi, Stevie, Hugh Normous, Gorog

Esther, Mikael, Dhalia, Aurora de Martel

A character I’m indifferent about:

Anderson - he felt remorseful after thinking that Sherlock was dead

Kira - Her character was good but I dint love her

Bess - she can be a little shallow at times

Meg- her voice annoyed me sometimes but she loved Cas

Professor Krumbs could be little mean

Sometimes I loved her and other I hated her but in the end I think she is a strong female character

A ship I’ve never been able to get into/ shouldn’t have happened:

John and Mary - She wasn’t a great wife

Derek and Baeden- I didn’t see any chemistry at all

Nick and Nancy - Even they are endgame in the books, they didn’t have any chemistry on screen

Sam and Ruby - Mostly cause she was really sus from the beginning

Justin and Rosie - He was better with Juliet

Hope and Roman - He used her and that’s horrible on such a young girl

A ship I’ve never been able to get over:

Sherlock and John whether it be friends are lovers - they are supreme

Stiles and Derek- Even though its not canon its the best ship on the show

Nancy and Ace- They haven’t gotten together yet but I love the angst

Cas and Dean whether it be friends are lovers - they are supreme

Alex and Mason - those 2 were cute

Rebekah and Marcel- It took so long for them to be together but they finally got there

A cute, low-key ship:

Sherlock and Mycroft (not romantically- ew) as the best of brothers

Scott and Alison were so soft

Nick and George are cute- they are healthy and communicate really well

Sam and Elieen

Justin and Juliet - those nerdy cuties

Davina and Kol

My favourite storyline/moment:

Sherlock tells John he is alive - that was shocking

Dark Stiles - Nigutsune

Nancy finding about her true heritage and talking to Ryan and Nace

Cas saves Dean and becomes a part of the rest of the show

Alex erases herself and her brothers in the movie

All Klaus and Hope scenes

A storyline that never should have been written:

Sherlock’s long lost sister

The whole of season 6b

The death of Owen Marvin - he didn’t deserve to die.

Dean’s final death and Sam having to live without him

Alex and Justin accidentally turn Max int a girl

The death of Klaus, Elijah and Hayley in the final season just because of legacies

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - Some speculations about the last 7 episodes of 15th season

Well, after 2 trailers, episodes descriptions on IMDB and some unfinished plot-lines of SPN story I’d like to share my own speculations. Some of them are definitely wrong. 

Destiel positive, happy end positive, don’t like - don’t read. 

Season 15 | Episode 14. Last Holiday

A filler - that’s how we anime fans call episodes which have no deal with the main plotline, though can contain some interesting moments and nuances. In “Supernatural” these episodes usually have no Cas in them. Sometimes they are very good... but mostly not. They are “just for fun”, and fans enjoy them, because they can be really funny. No angst.

Like this one - no angst, no Cas, a wood nymph who looks like Mary Poppins to me (or Mrs. Marple whatever). Some British origin of the character. 

That’s the episode which shots with Dean in purple nightgown are from (trailer short version).

I suppose the shot with Dean, Sam and Jack flying in the air could also be here from. But maybe not.

I don’t know where Cas may be. His absence should be explained to us in some way. In episode 10th he was missing because of talking to the angels. What’s now? Some preparations for the next Jack's trial? 

In this episode Dean should come closer to Jack’s forgiving.

Season 15 | Episode 15. Gimme Shelter

I have NO IDEA what this episode is about. Maybe the next trial for Jack? Or not?

I think the shot from the last trailer with Cas protecting Jack on the truck bed is from this episode. Also, some tortured person on the bed with the “lust” written above could be from it. 

And what about Sam and Dean? Where are they? 

I think they may have their own journey here, separate from Cas and Jack. Possibly the epic shots with them entering some building are this episode from. Possibly not. 

Season 15 | Episode 16. Drag Me Away (From You)

I don’t like this episode title. It looks like Destiel mocking to me - maybe, I just don’t have enough faith. I want to trust SPN writers but can’t. Somebody help me to believe, we all need that now! :)

THE ONLY episode in ALL THE SHOW except this one that had brackets in the title was 12x12, Stuck in the Middle (With You). Yahoo. 

Obviously, 12x12 was a parody to the Reservoir Dogs, a movie by Quentin Tarantino. Parody in a good sense of this word, but still. The plotline, the scenes (oh, this lunch scene from different points of view!), the scenes’ order, the roles, though changed - all of them. In case you didn’t watch Reservoir Dogs, just go and watch it, and then re-watch 12x12. You will understand. 

"Stuck in the Middle with You" is Stealers Wheel song which was in the OST of this Tarantino’s movie. This allusion should deal with boys’ and Mary relationship - because it’s her who betrayed them involuntarily, and now they are stuck in the middle with her. 

But somehow this episode title also deals with Destiel relationship. Maybe ‘cause that’s Cas who is dying, not Mary. Maybe ‘cause even on his deathbed he doesn’t confess something important - not about his betrayal, there was no one, but about his feelings. He says "I love you”, but then adds “I love all of you”, and Dean is literally stuck in the middle with Cas here. 

Back to the brackets in the episodes titles. Because of them I suppose that 12x12 and 15x16 could be connected. But how exactly?! That’s the question. I want them badly to be connected in Destiel way, but know too little. 

Back then I supposed that Dean could be dying in this episode and it would be his turn to confess something to Cas. But now I don’t know if there will be Cas in this episode at all, I just don’t have enough information. 

I hope he will. 

Btw, the words “Drag Me Away (From You)” are in Toto’s song “Africa”. And in case you didn’t know, in 2018 this song was used for half-an-hour Destiel video made by fan here. It covers ALL the Destiel moments then far. Link for this video is in Supernatural wiki, in the Destiel article. Half an hour, 10 repeats of the song, author’s comment: 

Along the way it stopped being funny and started getting insulting because this has been a literal decade (as of 2018 the vid features seasons 4-13) and the show has explored ALL of the tropes and yet and yet and yet...

I mean the fangirl shipper part of me also loves it. And then I get mad because I love it. I have a very complicated relationship with Supernatural but that's okay.

Have you heard the good news about Tragic Widow Dean?

TLDR: Have a supercut of all the DeanCas stuff set to Toto's Africa.

We can speculate a bit about this fact, but the truth is we know only about young Sam and Dean, who certainly will be in this episode. 

I think shots with Billie talking to Dean from the last trailer also belong to this episode, as well as shots with young Dean with Samulet, who is a ghost now. But these assumptions could be totally wrong. 

What circumstances will take us to the young Sam and Dean? Time travelling? Flashbacks? The parallel world?

Personally I think it will be the third option. Because how the hell young Dean can be a ghost in “our” universe? Unless it’s not Dean, though I doubt it. But if it’s not Dean, it can be a flashback, you know, with the young boys. Yep? 

We’ll wait and see.

I don’t think that Sam’s appreciative words to Dean refer to this episode. 

Also I don’t think Sam is going to sacrifice himself AGAIN (I’ve heard such an opinion). But maybe it’s my hope that makes me think in a wrong way.

Season 15 | Episode 17. Unity

I think some of Chuck’s shots are from this episode. Maybe the red lights in the bunker too. Maybe not. 

There also should be Amara and some angels. I saw Uriel in the cast! Maybe there also be some light lit on the all situation in Heaven now, when Jack made new angels. 

Some interaction between all of them + Sam, Dean, Cas and Jack should take place. Here the shot with sigil could be taken from. 

What side the angels will take? How it happened that Uriel is alive? Was he resurrected by Chuck or Amara? What plans does Amara have, how is she planning to deal with Chuck?

And what’s for Naomi? Will she come back or not? I think she won’t, not in this episode for sure, and I’m already disappointed ‘cause you know, she should be alive. Dumah said she is. For me Naomi is an important figure considering Destiel, and I think she’d be the best Heaven runner. 

All in all, in this episode should happen something that will make Cas happy. I suppose by the end of 15x17 or in the beginning of 15x18 they all will be sure that they have won the game, and Dean will forgive Jack for Mary.

The episode title may refer to angels’, Winchesters’ and Amara unity. 

Season 15 | Episode 18. Despair

Well, in Supernatural wiki I also saw “The Truth” title for this episode. 

Most of us are convinced that in this episode Cas will tell Dean about his deal with the Empty and will be taken by it. I believe the same. 

I think shot with Billie knocking with her hand rotten belongs to this episode. 

I have some doubts, but also think a shot with Dean leaning on Cas is from here. 

I’m sure that “You fought for this whole world” and Dean’s crying scene belong to this episode. ‘Cause you know. Despair. And the truth - about Cas’s deal and possibly about their fake win. 

Billie’s with her scythe and bunker intrusion symbols could also be from here (or from one the previous episodes ends, especially for Billie - as a cliffhanger). And it should be the case for Sam and Jack, I suppose. Because there is no other way for Dean and Cas to face Cas’s deal with just two of them. 

Destiel confession will be here, in more explicit form that it could be in 15x16, because there will be A TALK, but I don’t think we’ll see something real explicit. 

Maybe, Dean’ll say he loves Cas. Maybe not. I’m sure only about the fact that we’ll cry by the end of this episode. And that will be AN UGLY CRYING, just as Jensen said.

Well, maybe there will be a hint that Cas can be brought back, but I think it won’t. So prepare yourselves, my friends. 

Season 15 | Episode 19. Inherit the Earth

Here I think Sam’s appreciative words to Dean are taken from. They are definitely comforting. ‘Cause you know, Cas is dead, Chuck is alive. Possibly Cas was in his way and Chuck erased him by making him believe in their win.

I also think Dean’s crying words “this whole mission, saving the world” belong to this episode and will be in conversation with Sam. 

They still need to fight Chuck, and Jack is still alive. Here Michael will appear and helps. And there is one moment Sergey mentioned in 15x07, about the key to the Death’s library. He even described what it looks like! Cas heard that as well as Eileen. Well, if Cas is taken, then Eileen should return to the Winchesters, maybe with Sam and Jack, or just tell them about this key. 

I don’t know what they are going to do after. Open this library? How? Find how to kill God? Or not? Will they try to save Cas?

I think they will not talk about Cas’s saving. And he will be dead in this episode for sure.

Also I think they’ll deal with God in this episode, one way or another.

Season 15 | Episode 20. Carry On

This is a land of unlimited speculation!

I hope Dean’ll have Cas back by the end of episode. I think Cas’ll save himself from the Empty, ‘cause, you know, he has a big goal there. The Empty tortures all the dead angels and demons, as far as we know. It should be fixed - Cas’s already made a promise to Ruby. And we know that Cas has no problem with ruining something and messing it up - he is basically THE GREAT TRICKSTER of this show. 

Rebelling against Heaven and ruining angels’ plans? Check. Stopping Apocalypse? Check. Opening Purgatory? Check. Becoming a new God? Check. Bringing the Leviathans? Check. Casting all the angels out of Heaven and burning their wings? Check. Becoming human? Check. Becoming an angel by devouring other angels’ grace? Check. Getting an army of angels? Check. Giving up this army for one human? Check. Kidnapping angels’ prisoner? Check. Letting Lucifer in? Check. Helping “an abomination”, Devil’s son, to be born? Check. Annoying Empty so much that it brought him back to life? Check. Making a deal with the Empty? Check. 

It’s very dangerous to mess with Cas, you just don’t know what he could do for the greater good, and yep, in some way Dean was right when he said that Cas is “something that’s always going wrong”. So I think the Empty is in trouble here, not vice versa.  

Also, there is one more thing that bothers me. When Nick in 14th season was praying to Lucifer, he woke him up in the Empty. Theoretically, Lucifer can be awake by now. It could be a dead end, but still. Lucifer’s “true face” is similar to the Empty’s, sooo... 

I don’t know what to think about it and the fact that Nick could reach Lucifer and return him from the Empty, so let’s move on.  

I hope for the happy end for Sam (maybe with Eileen) and for all the hunters we know. They are family. 

NO MCD here! If someone’ll die - they shouldn’t be Sam, Dean or Cas. I don’t want to see Eileen’s death either. I don’t know what about Jack. I don’t want him to die, but he is 100% supernatural being, and I am not sure what it means for him to die. 

Monsters should stay, hunters should hunt them. We’ll see that the “family business” thrives.    

There should be an order on the all levels - in Heaven, Hell and on Earth. There should be the new Death - of they should return Billie. Rowena running the Hell would be perfect. Wonder if Naomi could run Heaven. Maybe it will be Chuck? If he will be redeemed. Or Michael. 

I don’t know what’s for the Empty and Amara. 

I don’t know what the end for Jack will be. I’d like he will be alive, but I just don’t know. He can’t be a human. That will be right thing for Cas, but not for Jack. 

I hope for Destiel endgame, as well as for Sam/Eileen. Cas should become a human, maybe, with some supernatural skills left.   

I doubt that we have proper scenes of these ships together or Cas’ humanity. Just hints. But they can be very obvious - especially if we’ll see Dean’s reaction to Cas’s returning. 

So, I hope to see them. 

But, as I said, it's a land of unlimited speculation. We’ll wait and see. 

What else should be resolved:

- Kevin can’t stay a ghost! It’s my main point here. He also can’t go to Hell. What will happen with him and in which episode? I don’t know. I just hope they won’t forget about him. 

- There is the shot with Bobby from? 15x20? He should be somewhere. 

- Also, there should be Charlie in this season unless something’s changed. Where is she?

- What are they going to do with alternative!Winchesters from 15x13? They will rest? They will make another HunterCorp? They will be gone?! Come on, something needs to be done with them! Of course, they are not so important here, so the writers can forget about them, but still, I’m interested.

What am I going to do:

I'm going to watch all the last episodes of the season. AND THEN, if there will be no happy end for the Winchester boys and Cas won’t be with them, I'm going to rebel. :) In every possible way - petitions, letters, actions etc. We are grown-up people here. We can fight for our rights, and it's my crucial right - to be happy about my favorite show ending. :) 

__________________

Feel free to ask me anything or to comment. My ask is working!

[tintentrinkerin]

Harness & Spears Chapter 6/10

Warning: oral sex

Read below the cut or on AO3

It was a drive of around 6 hours and Sam and Jack needed to take two short breaks to refuel the car and Jack needed some fresh air one hour before they reached their destination. He got travel sick for the first time ever. But they took another car, neither the Impala nor the car Jack drove when he sneaked to Gilead. Jack still felt weird when they arrived at the motel.

Checking in was quick. Jack was surprised which motel Sam chose and Sam just gave him a smirk.

“This is luxurious!”, Jack calls out when they enter their room on the fourth floor.

“Yes, it is luxurious compared to what Dean and I are used to, we lived in really shabby stinky rooms more than once.”

Sam is wise enough to not just start telling tales of the ‘good old times’ with Dean, because that is not what Jack wants to hear right now. Dean is a topic they will avoid for as long as they’re here.

“I would say, I unpack our stuff, prepare some tea and you get better with your sickness, hm?”

Jack turns around. He isn’t that sick anymore, but Sam just offered him some pampering, how could Jack say no to that?

“Are you sure? I can help you with unpacking.”

Sam already opened his suitcase and now starts packing folded shirts and shorts in the cupboard. He turns around to Jack with a grin.

“It’s no bother, just unwind a little, take a nap while I unpack. Won’t take long.”

Jack fills the electric cattle with water and chooses a tea from the tea table. He hasn’t seen any of these so far, it seems very european, at least that’s what Sam told him, when he once was in Ireland. But he is also super curious what Sam packed. While the kettle starts working and Jack chooses fennel tea he looks over to Sam. It looks like he packed a lot for a week trip. Sam is the neater of the two brothers and carries extra underwear, even a hair dryer, three pairs of shoes. They haven’t decided on which disguise yet, but since it was a ghost hunt that had zero body count yet, they would maybe go with the ‘paranormal activity journalist’ thing, even though Jack loved also being FBI. After Cas told him after the teddy bear case he probably wasn’t the best actor in the field, he would let Sam talk anyway. Sam was big and earnest and super convincing.

Jack hears a rustling and how Sam hurries to hide what he was about to unpack back in his rucksack.

“What was that?”, Jack asks with a raised eyebrow.

On their drive here Sam chose to do the whole ride and while riding shotgun Jack played on his smartphone and he did what he always does since he and Sam are together. He educates himself about sex. He knows Sam will show him everything one day and also answer a lot of questions, but some things he just doesn’t spill. Jack is dying for answers, all the time, every waking minute with Sam. And that looked like a foil package of condoms.

Sam blushes and zips his bag, avoiding eye contact.

“Nothing, nothing that’s important.”

The kettle is done and Jack fills a mug with hot water and adds to bags of tea. He likes his tea strong and intense.

“Sam, that looked like condoms.”

Sam looks like caught in the act. And then he lets his shoulders hang.

“Yes, but it’s an old bag, I- I didn’t unpack it completely. They might have expired anyway.”

Jack is a little disappointed. Of course he had his hopes high for a second.

“Hey, baby, please don’t be disappointed.”

Sam shuffles the bag aside and invites Jack on the big king size bed. Damn it would be the perfect occasion. They’re alone and what did Sam just say yesterday? That he wants to be with Jack. And yes, yes, they are together almost all the time and they do the most exciting and thrilling things, Jack is regularly blown away and unable to form coherent statements when Sam is done with him, but… deep inside Jack he is aching for what people call ‘the first time’ and make a big fuss about. Jack reads a lot. He doesn’t like adult movies or porn, though, it’s tacky and he feels like this kind of intercourse in porn doesn’t resemble in the slightest what Sam and him would have. But how could he know if Sam didn’t show him?

Jack follows the invitation after a little hesitation, gets out of his shoes and opens his jeans, his belly hurts and Sam told him reducing pressure would, thus unbuttoning his pants or take them off completely. Sam also is barefoot now, out of his pants and Jack dives in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Jack, I know you want it. And I didn’t want to raise your hopes.”

“Is this all because I’m a virgin and you would be my first? And you have to stay pure and a virgin for as long as possible”, Jack asks quietly.

“Did you browse weird purity websites, Jack? Virginity is just a concept. The human body is made for having sex at one point in their life. That’s why you go through puberty, start having sexual feelings, breasts and penis grow, wet dreams, periods… all of this. Shaming someone for having sex is like shaming monkeys to climb trees. It’s bullshit. It’s sexist. I love being your first, but not because I think you’d be ‘unclean’ if someone else before me had sex with you, I just like the intimacy, being able to get to know you well enough to know what’s the best pleasurable way for you. And I’m very damn glad Hunter didn’t lay a finger on you.”

“But why don’t we have sex then?”, Jack asks with a trembling ache in his chest.

“You might be a virgin, but why I’m going slow is because I like going slow per se. I had sexual encounters that happened on the day the person and I met, and it was passionate and great and all, but… you remember the tacky jokes from Cas and Dean, that my cock is deadly?”

Jack chuckles, then nods. “Yeah.”

“That really happened a lot. I thought I liked someone, and then they were possessed by a demon, were a werewolf, I even had a sexual relationship with someone from whom I knew was a demon and that was even the whole point. I did it when I was mourning Dean. Later Dean stabbed her after-”

Sam swallows deeply.

“She, Ruby, was responsible for Lucifer to be freed from the Cage the first time. She tricked us into opening all the portals.”

“Oh. I don’t know what to say, Sam. I’m sorry.”

“None of this is your fault.” Sam says with a bitter undertone. “Back to the actual topic. I’ve been through a lot of experiences that seemed pleasant maybe, sexually, but in the end they got hurt, or I got hurt. I had a lot of people violate my body.”

Jack stiffens and attempts to get up, protesting.

“I would never-”, he calls out.

“Yes, you wouldn’t . I know that.”

But your maker did , Sam thinks bitterly. But when he looks at Jack, he sees Cas. Never Lucifer. And still he has issues to fully give in.

“But, Sam… I wished we could go further. I know you think I’m just a horny teenager but I feel-”, Jack clears his throat and winds out of the embrace to take a sip of his tea. It’s hot and he burns his tongue.

“I really like you, Sam, I want to be as close to you as possible. It’s a consuming feeling, it’s eating me up. I would say it’s wildly romantic to be so horny for each other, but I’m aching inside for you. Sam… I-”

Jack can’t make himself say it. “I want you so bad. ”

Sam takes the cup out of Jack’s hand and puts it on the nightstand. Slowly pulling Jack in his hug again, this time in his lap. Jack melts everytime when Sam does that and Jack can see in Sam’s face that he knows.

“Jack, believe me, I want you too. I want you a lot. It’s hard to resist you, oh, sometimes I feel like it’s impossible.”

It’s wonderful to hear that, it’s healing the aching, but only for a little and Jack knows it will come back at him even worse. He sighs and enjoys the shivers down his spine when Sam’s hand circles on his back, between his shoulder blades; a familiar motion. Never failing to make Jack either even hotter or calm him down. Sometimes it’s hard for him to differ which feeling is which. With Sam everything is right and upside down at the same time. Secretly Jack envies all of Sam’s lovers. And to hell with it, he is jealous that Dean had to have Sam so close for all these years, see him in puberty, see him maybe feeling lust for the first time-

It takes Jack a second to realize he’s just thinking about brothers, just that with the Winchesters nothing really surprises him anymore. Not even his own fantasy of teenage Sam, in full hormonal rage, humping pillows, like Jack once did when he didn’t know what the feeling he experienced really meant and how to prolong or end it.

“You’re still very victorious of resisting my qualities.”

“You sound like a dandy”, Sam chuckles, “Believe me it’s a daily struggle to not just…”

Jack’s stomach sinks and his groin is painfully hard and hot in a matter of milliseconds.

“Not just what, Sam?”, he whispers.

Sam turns both of them around and Jack lands on his back, squealing a little. It’s such an innocent, young sound that Jack has to recognise himself he sounds young and inexperienced. Sam shoves Jack’s shirt up to his armpits.

“Sam?”

Jack’s voice is shaky.

“I will show you how much I want you, okay?”

“I’m certainly not stopping you, please show me.”

He pushes up on his arms, looking down at Sam, who pulls down Jack’s shorts.

“How’s your stomach?”, he asks, kissing Jack’s abs.

Oh, fuck. Jack has to let his head fall back and he stares on the ceiling, thin blue waves dancing in his eyesight.

“My stomach? Miracle cure” he says with a raw groan.

As soon as Sam touches him in a certain way, Jack just elevates, his senses focus on what they’re doing and probably the motel could just go down in a blast of flames and Jack wouldn’t even notice he’s burning alive.

Sam’s long hair tickles Jack’s skin and he chuckles and winds a little, Sam holds him steady, there will always be one strong arm along Jack’s spine, supporting him, showing him that Sam won’t let go. And that he’s Sam’s. Jack would never ever let anyone else touch him like that. One hand digs deep in Sam’s hair, strong brown streaks, slightly curling. Unsure if to push him further down or pull him back up Jack just holds on, feels for Sam’s lips, his slick and talented tongue, waiting for the next sensation, waiting for his own wishes to form words, then sentences.

“Sam, I want you, I don’t wanna wait any longer…”

The kisses upwards stop and Sam looks up, lips wet and glistening, tongue flicking over his lower lip. It’s obscene as it is beautiful.

“I will make it worth the wait, Jack. Believe me, there are so many unbelievably good things we can do…”

“I want you… really, I want you… inside me.” Jack’s words splatter out of his mouth and he’s aroused yet a little ashamed.

Sam hikes up completely and lays Jack down. Kisses the ‘but’s and ‘when’s and ‘want’s away. Jack struggles, frustrated and horny, mood shifting between whiny and angry.

“You will, Jack. You will get everything you want and more. Please give it a little more time. It won’t be long, I promise. I know how you feel.”

A single mad tear rolls down Jack’s face.

“Sam, I want to be so much closer, I need to feel part of you in me…”

Sam kisses away the tear, tastes the salt. Jack is a shaking, needy mess, legs spread, shirt shoved up under his chin. Nipples hard, goosebumps all over and a raging hard cock between them.

“Are my fingers okay, too?”

Jack nods frantically. He remembers the orgasm that was so mind blowing and got ruined by Dean and Cas running into them.

“Yes, again, please.”

And Sam is a keeper of his promises.

Jack is shaken to the core before Sam even penetrates him. It’s a delight to see, only the sight of Jack’s golden eyes, the slight quakes, he’s so responsive in a unique way and it’s only for Sam. If Jack only knew how hard it really is for him to not just take the boy here and now, thrust in this perfect pale mannequin body, Sam has never seen anything so breathtaking. Of course he wants to feel Jack’s insides, he wants to drain the last drop of cum out of him while Jack rides him, GOD , Sam would do a lot to experience that in a complete guilt free and perfect way, like Jack deserves. Part of him wants to mark the naphil as his, show everyone that Sam is the luckiest man alive, because Jack chose him. Damn, fucking him until he’s loose and barely able to utter anything else than faint moans or sobs, yes, Sam wants to make Jack never forget the sex they’ll have. But he can’t. Not yet.

If Jack only knew that corrupting something so beautiful, so rare, so graceful strikes Sam with such terror -- to do it wrong. To disappoint.

If Jack only knew that Sam isn’t the strong indestructible man he might appear like. That things inside him are just broken and cannot be fixed. And it could destroy what they have. And Sam can’t have Jack shatter on the truth. He wants Jack to shatter on his body, shaking and in extacy. And in perfect bliss.

“Sam, please”, Jack coos.

Sam will not just give Jack his fingers, he’ll give him his tongue and mouth. Jack’s cock is full, red, tip glossy with precum Sam spread across already. He doesn’t hesitate to press the tip of his tongue on the bundle of nerves right underneath the glans while wrapping his lips around the tip. Jack sounds broken, his hips jerk and he simultaneously tries to pull away, his hands in Sam’s hair.

“Sam, so much! It’s so much!”

“Is it good much or bad much, baby?”

“Good”, Jack admits, “it was in a movie and when I saw it…”

Jack covers his mouth with his shivering hand, biting his finger.

“It was good?”

Jack nods.

“I won’t go on if you think it’s too much.”

“Oh, I… I don’t know Sam, it’s really hot, but what if I spill…”

Sam chuckles.

“Don’t worry about it.”

While talking he gently keeps jerking and Jack relaxes a little.

“I don’t want you to stop Sam, I want all of it.”

“Sure?”

“Yes, please keep going. Can I watch you?”

Jack looks down and Sam sees nothing but longing in his eyes. Good.

Sam laughs. “Of course, feel free.”

Jack already tastes a little salty from precum and Sam goes slow, it’s a new sensation and it’s just a matter of time until Jack won’t be able to hold his orgasm anymore. Sam risked it to take two fingers for Jack this time, circling his sweet spot steadily and sucking him in the same slow torturing rhythm. Jack’s hand in his hair clenches and relaxes before also his other hand grasps for some loose strands. His noises are so sweet, Sam’s cock jumps and aches with every new little ‘oh’ or whispered name it’s harder to stay patient and noble. Sam’s primitive part wants to go on without any mercy, suck Jack off, fuck this tight sweet ass with until he’s sore and force orgasm after orgasm out of this beautiful boy.

Jack’s breath hitches and his hips thrust up in Sam’s mouth, not enough to make him gag but enough to make his mouth water even more, make the blowjob sloppy and full of wet noises. Immediate reactions. Moaning. Fingernails scratching his scalp.

“Sam! I’m….”

Jack doesn’t need to finish that sentence, Sam can feel it coming. Jack’s cock grows even harder, a little bigger - or is that wishful thinking? - and Sam can’t resist to swallow as deep as possible, his fingers ramming into that tight hole -- fuck, Sam is about to cum himself untouched just by how Jack feels, tastes and these sounds. Fuck, these sounds should be forbidden.

“Close”, Jack cries, “Sam, so close!”

Sam would love to answer, give Jack some encouraging answers but he can’t stop now. He wants to feel Jack filling his mouth, he wants everything Jack can give right now. It should be painful, how Jack clings onto his hair, pulling and ripping. It isn’t.

With some firm and frantic rubs of Jack’s prostate and Sam moaning with his mouth full of cock the boy arches his back and cries so sweetly, his legs crossed behind Sam’s back start pressing them even closer together, his hands push and pull.

“I’m coming”, Jack’s voice is clear as a bell, no trembling.

And then he shoots his cum, thick hot spurts in Sam’s mouth and while Jack gasps and moans so loud the neighbors might hear, Sam swallows and keeps stroking, keeps sucking.

If Sam only looked up, he could see the molten glowing honey shade of Jack’s angel eyes, wide open, his shaking body and a faint blue light illuminating the face perfectly shaped like marble, Grace surrounding him like a halo.

Light bulbs pop and TV starts crackling -- just seconds later everything turns quiet.

Sam looks up, catching the rest of cum with his thumb from his lips and licks it up. Jack looks down at him, his eyes teary and still shining a little.

“Sam…”, he croaks.

Sam crawls up and Jack immediately snuggles up into an embrace.

“Did you just cause a blackout?”, Sam asks with a grin.

Jack sobs. “I think so... It was…”

“Yes, I felt it. Overwhelming?”

“I still feel like I’m shaking…”

Sam hugs him tighter. “You are still shaking a little. I will hold you.”

It takes a little for them to calm down. Actually, Sam can’t calm down, he is tenting his boxer briefs. There’s no way to hide it. Jack shifts, a hand runs under the fabric. Sam forgets to breathe for a moment.

“You don’t have to”, he whispers.

Jack doesn’t stop.

“But I want to.”

[yet-another-fan-girl9]

Different Worlds (5)

Summary: You’re the youngest Winchester, a girl who needs to show her big brothers that she doesn’t need help. Then one day, on a totally normal vampire hunt that you had all under control, three meddling Avengers come barging in.

Warnings: language, violence, canon divergence, slow burn, me making stuff up

Word Count: 2001

~*~

Chapter 5: Answers and Headaches

The Winchesters led the Avengers to a large, run-down building that was secluded in the woods. Bucky looked at Steve, then back at the building. If this was a trap, they could take them. The two Winchesters didn’t have any magic… that he knew of. 

“We’re home!” (Y/N) shouted as she opened a door to reveal a large, open room. The inside was much nicer than the outside.

She went down the metal staircase first, followed by her brother and the strange man in the trench coat. The Avengers went down after them, one by one. Tony had collapsed his nanotech suit, but Bucky saw that he kept one of his repulsors on his hand. 

A tall man with shaggy brown hair walked out of the next room. His already annoyed expression became darker when he noticed Bucky and the rest of the Avengers. The next person to greet them was a young man with dark brown hair. His expression was similar to the first man’s, but when he saw the superheroes, his expression brightened. Then the red-haired book thief walked in next. Her large smile grew larger when she saw the large group of people. 

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked when he noticed their expressions. 

“We,” the tall man forced a smile, “have a guest.”

“A guest that isn’t the superhero group behind us?” (Y/N) clarified. 

Then a dark-haired man in a black suit swaggered in to join everyone. The redhead, Bucky thought he heard (Y/N) call her Rowena, smiled even wider. 

“Hello, Squirrel,” the man said to Dean in a British accent. Then he turned to (Y/N). “Do I have a nickname for you, dear? Rabbit? Do you like carrots?”

“Crowley,” Dean growled. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Came to visit my mummy.” Crowley gestured to Rowena. Bucky’s mind really couldn’t keep up with all this. “I caught wind that she had a very special book.”

“Can we just put everything on pause,” Steve interrupted, “and catch us up to speed?”

The rest of the Avengers mumbled their agreement. 

“Everyone into the library,” (Y/N) ordered.

Everyone walked into the next room and found a seat at one of the tables. The Avengers on one side, (Y/N) and her gang on the other. 

“First, introductions,” Tony spoke up. “You know who we are.”

“Meh,” (Y/N) shrugged. “I don’t follow your shitty reality TV show lives.”

The billionaire opened his mouth in offense but Bucky smiled at her. She smiled back and then quickly looked away. Was she blushing?

“I’m Captain America but you can call me Steve Rogers,” Steve began. “This is my friend Bucky Barnes, he was the Winter Soldier, and my other friend Sam Wilson. He’s the Falcon.” He introduced the rest of the present Avengers, pointing at them when he said their name and superhero alias. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Uh, I’m (Y/N) Winchester.” She gave a small wave. “My brothers: Sam and Dean. That’s Castiel, we call him Cas, Jack, and Rowena. Then there’s Crowley.”

“And that was actually Lucifer back there? The Devil? Satan?” the Avengers’ Sam asked. The Winchesters, Cas, and Jack nodded in confirmation. 

“So what the fuck even happened at the cafe?” Clint raised his hand like he was in school. 

“Lucifer escaped,” Cas explained in a low voice. “We used the Magicae Libro and Rowena as bait to trap him again.”

“The ‘Magicae Libro?’” Nat asked. “The Magic Book? Very creative.”

“They didn’t need to be creative when it was the only one,” (Y/N) pointed out. Bucky saw Cas narrow his eyes at her.

“The Magicae Libro is the world’s first spellbook,” said Cas. “Written by witches who were guided by Lucifer.”

“Goddamned witches are a thing too?” Bucky thought about all the supernatural entities he had learned about in the past month: vampires, ghosts, Satan, and now witches? What else was there?

“Yes, ‘goddamned witches’ are a thing,” the Scottish woman said in a slightly harsh tone. “I’m a witch. One of the most powerful, I would say.”

“So who took the Devil?” Tony put everyone back on track. 

“Some angels.” (Y/N) shrugged like it was no big deal. 

“Angels?” multiple Avengers exclaimed.

“Yes, we exist,” Cas answered in prediction to the questions heading his way. 

“You’re an angel?” Steve’s eyes were wide with awe. 

“So Lucifer and angels exist,” Wanda began, “does that mean God and demons exist too?”

“Yes.” (Y/N)’s side of the table answered simultaneously. 

“Are you sure?”

“Considering I am literally the King of Hell,” Crowley said proudly as his eyes turned blood-red, “I am very sure.”

“And God?” 

“Chuck can go suck a dick, honestly,” (Y/N) blurted out. 

“Chuck?”

“My grandfather went by the pen name ‘Chuck Shurley’ for a while,” Jack explained. “He still insists to be called ‘Chuck.’”

“Grandfather?” Clint raises his eyebrows. 

“God has a fucking pen name?”

“Grandfather!?”

“Why does ‘Chuck Shurley’ sound familiar?” Nat tapped her finger on the table as she tried to remember. 

“Grandfather!?”

“He wrote a shit ton of books based on our lives,” Dean shook his head. “He called it ‘Supernatural.’”

“Grandfather!?”

Wanda sucked in a breath and looked at Nat. “I think we read one of the books during a girl’s night.”

“GRANDFATHER!?” Clint was shouting now. 

“My father is Lucifer. I’m a Nephilim,” Jack unhelpfully explained. Bucky swore that every time they tried to explain something, more questions would arise. 

“Please explain,” Tony groaned and rubbed his head.

“A Nephilim is—”

“I know what a Nephilim is. How is your father the fucking Devil?”

“My mother was Kelly Kline,” the young man said before he was interrupted again.

“Wasn’t she President Rooney’s aide?” Steve asked.

“Yes. My father briefly possessed the President of the United States.” Jack was only met with silence as the Avengers tried to wrap their head around the very large info dump. Bucky could see (Y/N) trying to hide a smirk. “He got my mother pregnant. She died giving birth to me.”

“I thought she only died in 2017?”

“This kiddo is only seven years old.” (Y/N) placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. 

“I need a break.” Tony placed his head on the table. 

“I’ll get some beers,” Dean offered and left the room. 

~*~

You walked over to Bucky with your beer in hand. He gave you a charming smile as you sat down in the chair that was just recently vacated by Steve.

“How are you doing?” you asked.

“Fine, I guess.” Bucky studied your face and you could feel your face warm up. “Are you some supernatural being too?”

“Nope. I’m nothing special.”

“I think you’re very special.”

“Even my brothers are more special than me,” you sighed.

“I think you’re greatly underestimating your value, doll.”

Your heart fluttered at the nickname. You usually hated talking about yourself but Bucky’s compliments were nice. Very nice.

“S-so do you think this is below your paygrade?”

“Sweetheart,” you blushed at the second nickname, “I think this is above my paygrade. It’s above all of our paygrades.”

“You guys deal with this stuff a lot?” Steve joined the conversation.

“Yeah, I guess.” You shrugged. “Sometimes we just go on small hunts. Some monsters would be killing people and hunters go get rid of them. For some reason, it’s always me and my brothers who have to deal with the Apocalypse or the random angel who wants to be God.”

“The Apocalypse happened?”

“We stopped the Apocalypse from happening.”

“When?”

“Way before you guys formed,” your Sam said. “Like in 2009.”

“I had just become Iron Man,” Tony shook his head, “and you guys stopped the Apocalypse?”

“Sometimes I miss the Apocalypse,” you confess. “Simpler times.”

“Definitely simpler than the fucking leviathans,” Dean agreed.

“Oh, Chuck. I hated the leviathans.”

“Let’s skip over the fact that you miss the fucking Apocalypse and move on to ‘What is a leviathan?’” Avenger Sam asked.

“We accidentally opened a portal to Purgatory in 2012 and a bunch of shapeshifting leviathans escaped.”

“Have you heard of Dick Roman?” You looked around the room at each member of the Avengers. Tony, Natasha, and Clint nodded. “He was the leviathan leader.”

“You said they were shapeshifters,” Bucky said slowly. “Did they impersonate you three and go on a killing spree?”

“Yep!” You beamed at him. You don’t know why, but it felt like a weight lifted off your chest when Bucky knew you weren’t actually a serial killer.

“You face monsters and it seems that all odds are against you,” Natasha pointed out. “You guys must be good at your jobs if you’re still alive.”

“Oh, no,” Dean corrected. You smiled. Their reaction was going to be hilarious. “All of us here have died before. Multiple times.”

The Avengers looked like fish, opening and closing their mouths as they processed the information.

“How?” Bucky looked at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“Sammy was stabbed and I made a deal with a demon to bring him back,” Dean started. “Because of the deal, I was dragged to hell until Cas dragged my ass back out. Then there was the whole Mark of Cain thing when I became a demon.”

“The good times,” Crowley sighed as he reminisced.

“I was stuck in a time loop once where Dean died every day.” Your Sam shuddered at the memory.

“Remember when those two hunters killed you ‘cause you started the Apocalypse?” You smirk. You had missed that fateful night as you were off hunting somewhere else.

“Raphael made me explode. Then Lucifer exploded me. Then I imploded because of the leviathans. Then I was stabbed by some lady. Then Lucifer killed me again.”

“God smote me.” Jack frowned.

“Lucifer killed me twice,” Rowena said simply as she looked at her nails.

“I had to die to become a demon.”

“I was smote… smited… smoted,” you gave up and continued, “by Gadreel, an angel, when he possessed Sammy. Then I was mauled by a werewolf.” You wrinkled your nose at the memory. Honestly, you didn’t know which one was worse but you ended up in Hell both times. That was literally a pain in the ass.

“You guys really know how to throw a party,” Tony snarked.

“I don’t see how that’s a party,” Natasha responded.

“I understood that reference!” Steve said with a smile on his face.

“I don’t understand that reference.” Cas looked around, confused.

You sighed and changed the topic, “Do you have any more questions?”

“Well, yes,” Avenger Sam said. “But I don’t think I have the mental capacity for any of the answers.

“That’s for sure,” you heard Bucky say. You let out a snort and Avenger Sam glared at both of you.

“Then it’s time for you all to leave,” Dean announced. “Thanks for stopping by and drinking our beer, but now we have to get back to work.”

“Yes,” Steve agreed and stood up. “We have some work to do as well.”

The Avengers made their way back into the map room and up the metal staircase. They said goodbye one by one and left the bunker until only Bucky was left.

“I hope I’ll see you again,” you said and held out your hand.

“I hope so too.” He took your hand with both of his. How did you not notice his left hand, and possibly arm, was metal? “I want to learn more about you and your work.”

“You know where I live now. See you ‘round, Bucky.”

He smiled, dropped your hand, and gave you one last wave before he left. You knew you had a stupid smile on your face, but for once you let yourself be happy. You stood there for a minute before Rowena broke the silence.

“I thought they’d never leave!” she exclaimed. “I just wanted to play with the Magicae Libro.” A moment of silence. “Where is the Magicae Libro?”

“Where’s Crowley?” Jack asked and you all looked around the library.

“Aw, fuck!”

~*~

~*~

~*~

~*~

~*~

Tag List (strike though means tag didn’t work):

@grav3dollie-666 @broco8​ 

[smol-and-grumpy]

Something Just Like This - CH06

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester, mobster boss. He’s a little cocky, a lot ruthless and more often than not, short tempered. But he’s also, Dean Winchester, a war veteran and hero who suffers under a shit ton of PTS. He met her in a bar and thinks it’s fate that brought her to him. Little does he know why she’s really here.

Warnings: There is still none, what the fuck is wrong with me?! Well, maybe mention of sex trafficking, abuse of minors

WC: 3717

A/N: There are some discussions about a scandal on a classified ad website that really happened. Thank god that page has been taken down but these things will continue to happen and they dominate the lifes of minors who are captured and exploited by these people every day.

SERIES MASTERLIST

It’s a sunny day and there are lots of dog walkers in the park. Y/N was never really a dog person but Linda is, so maybe that’s why they always meet here at the dog park. Plus, it’s always crowded and they are able to go incognito. 

Y/N schleps her bags to the closest unoccupied bench she can find and sits down. 

Thinking about it, maybe she shouldn’t have bought this much. She only wanted to go in for one bra but then another one jumps in her face and it’s so cute with the lace and all, and it was the same color as her dress and of course then she needed matching panties and then, of fucking course, she needed them in different colors too. 

She doesn’t really know why she bought so many. Why she thinks that someone will ever see her in them. It’s not like she has a boyfriend, nor does she have a boy she wants to show them off to, for that matter. She’s no prude by any means and has lost her v-card a long time ago, but work has always been more important than going on dates. Not that she hasn't tried the dating thing, it’s just— every time she met with someone, she couldn’t help but run a background check on him, which she is technically not allowed to, but she’s better safe than sorry. And even if their record is clean, they bored her to death, and when she mentions that she’s with the FBI, they usually backed off on their own anyway.

Once Y/N settles, she pulls out a book from her bag and starts to read. Of course she can’t concentrate on reading. Can’t really think about anything else but how cute Dean looked when he was mortified that he might have said something weird. She also can’t stop thinking about how big and firm Dean is. How the dress shirt stretches tightly over his chest, the buttons praying for mercy. Can’t stop thinking about his perky little nipples that poked at the shirt and screamed to be freed. And his arms. Ugh. It always looks like the shirts cling onto his biceps for dear life. Not to mention the veins in his forearms when he had his dress shirt folded back. She noticed that night that Dean Winchester’s arms and hands were, in fact, freckled.

No, she shakes her head. She has no business thinking about him that way. But also, he has no fucking business looking that good, so there’s that.

She hardly notices someone sitting down next to her until the person speaks up.

“You went shopping?” 

It’s a familiar voice. 

Y/N doesn’t turn her head, instead looks at the person through the corner of her eyes. The woman next to her pulls out her phone and puts it to her ear.

Y/N continues to pretend to read. “Yeah, got an opening to attend, remember? You got what I sent you last night?”

“We looked through it. It’s quite a finding.”

“Really?” Because Y/N couldn’t make anything from the scribbles, “Good.” 

“There’s something about Lucifer in the notes. That’s just his nickname, which is fitting because he is indeed the devil. He’s Winchester’s rival. Used to be his right hand but split with them. Now he’s up against them while simultaneously building up a reputation in human trafficking.”

“Oh,”

Human trafficking , she remembers the time in training where they taught her about that. Knows that it’s a multi-million dollar operation behind it, knows that it’s dangerous as hell.

“Be careful, alright?”

“I will.”

“You wanna quit?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s getting risky. You just have to tell me and I’ll pull you out.”

“I know,” Y/N says. 

She knows that she can pull out anytime. It’s just—

—the more she gets to know Dean, the less she wants to quit. Which is unlike her at all. 

Y/N feels some kind of need in her. A need to know more about him. Wants to know how he ticks, wants to know why he’s always so reserved. She thinks there’s another layer of Dean Winchester. A layer you can’t see with your eyes, a layer you have to see with your heart. 

She thinks that there’s more to him than the mob boss and she feels weird to want to stay to see what’s beneath the hard shell. “So you’re telling me that Dean isn’t such a bad guy after all. That there’s someone out there who’s worse. Shouldn’t I try to get this Lucifer guy then?”

“No, Winchester’s bad, okay? I agree that Lucifer is worse but I can’t get you close to Lucifer. That guy is not only bad, that one is dangerous. I’d be risking your life and that’s the last thing I want to do.”

“Human trafficking, huh?” Y/N still looks down at her book and turns a page, just in case. “What kind?”

Linda nods subtly, “He started with organs but he wandered into sex-trafficking. Mostly young girls.”

“Wow.”

“Girls from normal families, runaways, sometimes he gets them off the street, promising them shelter and care—”

“—But instead they get abused and drugged.” Y/N finishes the sentence.

“Yes,” Linda nods.

“Isn’t there a special unit for that?” Y/N remembers her dad used to tell her about the Village Voice scandal.

“There is, and there’s another team on Lucifer but we’re working close with them.”

“So, what is that about, some sort of backpage kinda thing? I thought we put that to rest?”

“Oh honey, for every page we close, there are two or three more showing up, and that’s only the pages we know of.” Linda’s voice is small. 

Y/N remembers her dad being engrossed in his work while the backpage story blew up. A place where underage girls were trafficked. Heavily. Up to 20 clients a day. Every time she went back from college to see him in the years where backpage won case by case and continued to exploit girls on their page, he’d make sure to hold her just a little bit tighter.

“Right.” Y/N sighs, doesn’t want to think about all the bad things in the world because it would only rile her up more, “I need to keep going if I want to be on time for my shift.”

“I love you.” Linda says without looking at her. 

“Love you too,” Y/N replies, stands up and grabs her bags to leave.

*

Dean didn’t show up that night but when her shift ends, Y/N receives a text from an unknown number. 

D: Hey sweetheart, where can I pick you up tomorrow? Dean

Her cheeks warm up and ugh, there’s the flutter in her heart. She should not be feeling this.

Y/N: Hey stranger, you were missed tonight. 

D: Yeah, sorry, have a lot on my plate. Broken any noses or jaws tonight?

Y/N: No, they behaved. 

D: Good. Would have been a shame if I would have to punch them all in the face next time I’m there.

Y/N: I can take care of myself. 

D: I know. I also know that I shouldn’t get on your bad side. 

She giggles at that.

Y/N: So, tomorrow, picking me up at the bar is okay. I’ll see if I can help Ellen before I have to leave.

D: You are really a good girl, huh? 

D: I’m kidding. I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. Have a good night.

Y/N: You too.

She smiles to herself as she puts the phone back into her purse and proceeds to close the bar.

***

THE NEXT DAY

    “Alright, Ellen, everything’s in the cooler, you want me to help with anything else before I have to get myself ready?” Y/N calls to the back. Taking a look at the clock, she notices that Dean said he’ll pick her up in two hours time. There’s still plenty of time to do some other chores if Ellen wants her to.

“No, that’s alright. Just gonna hang up this sign,” Ellen comes through the door and pushes past Y/N with a sheet of paper in her hand. She notices some scribbles done with a black marker but can’t quite catch what it says.

“What’s that?” 

“Oh, I’m only open for a couple of hours tonight, gonna close earlier than usual.” Ellen shrugs and tapes the paper to the front door.

“Why?”

“I’m alone and I can’t possibly manage all the people. Have you noticed that there are more and more every night? I think it’s because of you, honey. They all drive out here to see you. And besides, Winchester paid me enough that I could actually close the bar for tonight, for the whole weekend even, but I guess some people still want to have a drink or two.”

“Oh,” Y/N could say she’s surprised that Dean paid Ellen, but really, she’s not for one bit. Thinks, it’s ridiculous how he always finds solutions by using money. 

“Go and get yourself ready,” Ellen pats her shoulder and disappears into the back office.

  *

She’s sitting at the bar on Dean’s stool when the door opens to a tall guy. One she’s never seen before. 

He smiles when he sees her and waits at the door. “I take it, you’re Y/N?”

“Who’s asking?” 

“Hi, I’m Castiel. Cas,” He looks around, as if to inspect the bar but makes no further move, “Everyone calls me Cas.” 

Castiel walks in and stands in the middle of the bar now, his gaze wanders from her to the back door. From the back door to the jukebox and further to the other side of the bar, “I’m working with Dean and he sent me to pick you up.”

“Oh,” She says and swallows down the disappointment she knows she shouldn’t be feeling. Of course Dean’s busy. He’s a fucking gangster boss who helps his brother opening up a legal law-fucking-firm. It’s a wonder if he’s not busy.

“We should get going. We’re already late as it is,” Cas walks back to the door he came through and waits for her while he holds the door open, “You coming?”

“Sure,” Y/N says, and hops off the stool, bites on her tongue as not to snap at Cas and ask him why Dean couldn’t come. Because let’s be honest here, she shouldn’t care about it as much as she does anyway.

They walk out and Cas is a gentleman, lending her a hand to walk down the front of the bar. He’d parked right in front of it too, so that she doesn’t have to walk through dirt with her nice new shoes. 

“That’s Dean’s car, isn’t it?” She asks upon realizing the Impala that Dean usually drives.

“Yeah, he told me that if you should get suspicious, I can always show you his car. Told me you’ve seen it already and let’s be real here, she’s a beauty.”

Right, she definitely should have interrogated Cas. Especially because Lucifer is on the loose and he holds a grudge against Dean, apparently. Only she doesn’t think that she’d be important enough for Lucifer to consider her a person of interest at all, so it never crosses her mind that someone would want to harm her. Not even after what Linda told her yesterday.

Cas goes on after he settles in the car, “Like, he never lets me drive, ever! So who are you really that he even made me drive out here in his Baby to pick you up?” 

“I’m his barmaid.” She just shrugs and it makes Cas laugh. Loud and sharp. 

Dean nervously flips his wrist and glances at his watch. The party has started and people are starting to pour in. Some of them mingled together in a group, talking in low hushed voices. The background music is soft. Sam had wanted some jazz music, had dismissed Dean’s suggestion that people might prefer classic rock. His firm, his party, so Sammy put his foot down. 

There were also powerful people here, judges, doctors, state reps, they’re all legal on the outside, but Dean knows their secrets — as much as they know his. Which kind of works to his disadvantage, really. 

He’s standing off to the side, grabbing a bite off the trays the servers are bringing every now and then, shaking hands with people he has never met, letting Sam introduce him as his brother, the war hero. To say that Dean’s bored and feels out of place is an understatement.

Jo’s hanging on his arm like she belongs there and Dean can’t remember when the last time was that she’s been so clingy. She’s talking to Jess who’s hanging onto Sam. Sammy’s beaming from ear to ear and Dean likes that. Finds his own comfort in Sam’s happiness. 

Sam’s been with Jess since college and Dean advised him not to spill too soon about who he is, who his family is but of course Sam did the contrary. Boy has some authority issues. To Dean’s surprise though, Jess stayed with Sam and cut all ties to her family. He guesses that it really must be love. 

Whatever love is. 

He doesn’t know it, can’t really say that he’s been in love himself. Love. It’s only a word, some utopian thing that only happens in movies. Well, or something that happens to other people. People who deserve it. Like Sammy for example.

“Dean!”

He doesn’t have to look in the direction to know who it is. Dean would recognize the voice — or rather the noise — anywhere. Jo’s hand around him grips him tighter, as if she wants to mark her territory. Dean thinks it’s weird but before he can even form a thought in his head, he hears loud clicking of heels walking swiftly towards him.

She struts closer with her mother. Both of them dressed to impress with too much make up on their faces. It makes them look like very expensive hookers. Those kinds where Dean wouldn’t want to get involved with.

“Amara,” Dean greets her and then, he’s being hugged. Amara’s strong perfume penetrates his nostrils, her boobs rub against his chest and he knows that she does it deliberately. Jo lets go off him by the sheer force of the hug.

Dean literally plies himself from her and her arms are still hanging off his shoulders when he greets her mother, “Rowena,” He nods. 

“Hello Dean,” Rowena’s smile was bright and white. “How are you, boy?” 

Dean knows that Rowena likes him like a son. She was madly in love with his father, he didn't even know if they had something going on, didn’t really want to know, to be honest. But he knows that Rowena would have loved it if he would have married her daughter, which, of course, would only happen over Dean’s dead body.

“Good, thanks.” Dean tries to smile and somehow winding out of the grip Amara still has on him. “Oh, hey, Sammy’s here. It’s Sammy’s night tonight.” He grins and it’s all forced, hoping to avert the attention from him to Sam. 

Jo’s gripping his arm again, on his other side hangs Amara, and the two women are sending each other daggers with their eyes as they greet one another. Dean looks around the room, trying to see if someone could get him out of his misery, knows that he could do it himself, and as much as he loves to tell them both to fuck off, he has to play nice because he doesn’t want to upset Sammy on his brother’s big night.

When nobody seems to notice his state of discomfort, Dean decides to make the best out of it, talking to the group of people and making lame jokes. To his amusement the two women laugh the loudest at something that isn’t even remotely funny, making Dean frown in bewilderment.

He looks up again, his eyes scanning the room, maybe someone will take notice of him now. His eyes stall at the front door.

Cas walks in, Y/N on his arm. Their eyes meet immediately, and maybe Dean’s wrong but he sees her looking down right after, as if she tries hard to look at anything else but him. 

He can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy hitting square in his chest, right where his fucking heart is, upon seeing her hanging off Cas’ arm. 

At that moment, all he sees is her. Sees her hair loose around her face, the pretty dress hugging her beautiful body. What he also sees is the color in her cheeks, and the puff of her lips, wonders how they would feel on his, or around his cock. Feels only a little guilty that when he rubbed himself off in the showers this morning and closed his eyes, all he saw was her. 

Dean pulls himself away from Amara and Jo. Shaking off Amara’s arm when he feels her nail claw into him more, hears her say something but he doesn't even listen because he’s literally running towards Cas and Y/N.

“Hey,” He comes to a halt in front of them, and she’s still not looking at him. Dean turns to Cas instead to get them some privacy, “Cas, thanks.” 

Cas nods and holds out Dean’s key to his car but doesn’t say a word, sensing the awkward situation that Dean’s in immediately. 

“I need a fucking drink,” Cas declares and pushes himself further into the room to find the bar. 

“You okay?” Dean asks as Cas has left. It’s a stupid question really, when he could clearly see that she’s not, in fact, o-fucking-kay.

He sees her hugging her arms around herself and when she looks up, he notices something else in her eyes. Something he can’t place. Maybe hurt? Annoyance? He doesn’t know, could never read a women like a fucking book. And he can’t say that he doesn’t hate that she feels this way.

“Yeah, why shouldn’t I be?” She smiles but Dean can see that it’s a little strained. 

He rubs one of his hands over her arm and she relaxes noticeably, which he thinks it’s good, isn’t it? Dean takes her hand, pulls her with him, and he’s glad that she let him, “Come on, let me introduce you.” 

     *

He got her drinks and it wasn’t long before she warmed up to him again while they talked and laughed with Sam and Jess, having successfully fended off the two other women as Dean stopped paying attention to them. 

Dean can see now from the corner of his eyes as he checks her out every now and then (he didn’t dare to stare at her too long though, fears that she might feel uncomfortable), that her smiles are genuine. 

Thank fucking god, Dean thinks. Wouldn’t even want to think how awkward the night would be if she would be mad at him for the majority of it. 

“Dean Winchester!” 

He knows that voice, knows it too well. Dean sighs and rolls his eyes before turning around, earning a giggle from her which actually makes him feel better too.

“Crowley,” He nods.

Crowley grins. “Nice party,” 

“Yeah, I agree,” Dean answers sharp. 

“And who is this lovely young lady?” Crowley looks at Y/N and the dude takes her hand, kisses it while Y/N clearly looks stunned. 

Dean balls his hands into fists, bites the inside of his cheeks to calm himself down.

“Y/N, this is Crowley—” He says at last.

“The mayor.” She finishes Dean’s sentence. 

Of course, Dean thinks. He tends to forget that Crowley is not the sneaky leprechaun but instead the mayor of the city. 

“Darling, mind if I borrow this giant for a moment?” Crowley asks Y/N and Dean hopes that she says no, even though he knows that he needs to talk to Crowley but tonight he’d rather let business be business and enjoy the time he has with her. Who is he kidding though, of course she’d say yes because she’s a good fucking girl. 

“Go ahead,” She smiles and nods. 

*

Dean didn’t see Y/N for the rest of the night. Amara’s back on hanging to his every step and every which way Dean turns, there’s always someone who wants something from him, even if it was Sam’s fucking night. 

He doesn’t complain though, playing his part — because he owns Sammy that much. He talks to people while Amara’s hanging on his arm, laughing at stupid jokes that people tell him and telling his own lame ones over and over. It’s fucking draining and he promised Sam that he won’t drink a drop, he regrets the promise right about now. 

Finally, by the end of the night, the guests start to leave one by one, and Dean looks around because he still couldn’t find her so he walks over to where Sam and Jess are saying their goodbyes to their guests. 

“Dean, you alright?” Sam asks and Dean knows that Sam can probably see in Dean’s face that he’s distressed. 

“Yeah, no,” Dean doesn’t even have it in his heart anymore to keep up the facade and lie to Sam, “Have you guys seen Y/N?”

“I saw her talking to Amara but it was almost two hours ago,” Jess says and as if on cue, Amara walks past them, grabbing at Dean’s arm again but Dean shakes her off.

“Amara, have you seen Y/N?” Dean almost shouts and it might have been louder than he wanted it to be but yeah, he’s a little worried — if not a lot. 

“I spoke to her and then she said she wanted to go outside to get some fresh air.” Amara’s tone of voice has something in it that rubs him the wrong way.

Dean pulls his phone from his pocket, thumbs over his contacts and dials Y/N’s number. It doesn’t even ring. It went straight to voicemail. He tries it again. And then again. 

“Right, Sammy, I gotta go,” Dean doesn’t even wait for Sammy to answer, instead he runs outside, and when he doesn’t see her, he runs to his car.

CH07

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: Left Behind Chapter 19 - Jackson

Warnings: Angst

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: In the series finale Kate and Morgan leave Hope County, Montana and move back to Jackson, Wyoming. John and Kate say their final goodbyes. 

Guest OCs: Joel Winchester [mentioned]

Guest characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Gabriel [mentioned], Lilith [mentioned]. 

Note+UPDATE: The Mother will continue to be posted, then Aftermath, then the New Dawn series will finish off the entire series. Thank you to those who shared, and read my Lucifer forsaken writings!!. 

************************************

Ever since Kate told John about her leaving Hope County, he spent every second of every day with her.

Wanting to be by her side all day, everyday. When that day came, November 2nd. It was tough for him, the love of his life leaving him.

Kate constantly reassured him. Telling him that she’ll come back, and they can talk on the phone all day, every day. Video calling, all of it. 

Her and Paige finally settled their differences, after uncle Brent gave Paige an hour long lecture on the phone, talking about family and shit. They were to leave that afternoon. John never, not once left Kate’s side.

He spent the night at her house, sleeping in the same bed as her. Cuddling with her the whole night, never letting her go. Had a little sex here, and there. He even let her do all the work, let her go on top, and ride him.

“I love you” he says in her ear, playing with her hair.

She chuckles softly, “I love you too”. 

Kate and Morgan were gonna leave around 1pm, the 7 hour drive that will be ahead of them from Hope County to Jackson.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving” John tells her.

She sighs, “Yeah me too. It’s gonna be hard, leaving all of my friends and you behind”. She signs again, resting her head on his chest, “It’s gonna be a tough one, but I’ve dealt with worse. I think I can manage”.

John chuckles, “What about me? I’m gonna need you. I need you here. How are we gonna keep us alive?!”.

She lifts her head up, and looks up at him, “I may have a few ideas”. 

Kisses him on the lips before getting up off the bed, and over to her shelf. She grabs a bluetooth earbud.

“What is that?!” he asks, sitting up.

“A bluetooth earpiece. You hook it up to your phone, and we can talk on the phone for hours. Well it works up to 12 hours. We can talk on the phone without even holding them” she explains to him. 

The whole day passed by so slow yet so fast. Going from Montana to Wyoming, then Wyoming to Pennsylvania. Who knows how long this demon shit is gonna be. Demon deals can only last for so long, 10 years usually. 

Kate knew this would be a long trip. A long and painful one.  That afternoon before they left, she had an angst worthy conversation with John. well actually she had two. One with John, and another with a feathery boy.  He left that morning to work on some Cult stuff, and he returned that afternoon before Kate and Morgan left. 

They both had a heart to heart conversation. Kate and Morgan were packing up the trailer, and the car with their stuff. They planned on leaving some furniture behind, donating it or leaving for the trash collector to pick it up.

“Katie?!” John singfully calls out for her as she packs up the trailer.

“Hey!” she replies, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

They smile at each other, they step away from the vehicle. Away from where Morgan can hear them. John looks down at her, his eyes glossy. She knows he’s gonna cry, and he knows it as well. 

He clears his throat and says with his voice cracking, “You know I love you, and I would do anything for you. You changed me. I never loved anyone like how I do with you. I never cared for anyone the way I do, other than my brothers. I never thought I would be able to have these feelings for someone. You changed me, you made me feel”.

Tears start to form in his eyes, his breathing goes shaky. 

“I don’t want to lose you” he continues, “I don’t want anyone else to have you”.

Kate shakes her head, “You won’t lose me” she says softly.

“I know I won’t, I’m just scared you’ll find someone else” he tells her.

Tears streaming down both of their faces, “You don’t have to leave” he pleads with her.

“I’m sorry” she mutters, “But I have to”.

He nods his head, “I know”. 

They stand in silence for a few moments, time seemingly seemed to freeze in place. 

Kate looks around, and sees that time is going at its normal Earth pace. 

“I love you” he tells her.

“I love you too” she responds back. 

They pull each other in for an embrace, Kate rests her head against John’s shoulder. 

A few hours later, Kate and Morgan packed up the car, and trailer. All set to go back to Wyoming. Resting on the floor inside the somewhat empty house. 

“So are you gonna do anything else before we leave?” Morgan asks Kate.

“Yeah, Yeah I have a few things I have to do before we leave” she tells her.

She gets up off the floor and goes outside to the backyard. Going behind the fence, Haley follows her outside. Kate sits down underneath a tree. She takes a deep breath, slowly petting Haley.

She closes her eyes, and prays to Castiel.

“Hey Cas” she starts, “It’s me Kate Winchester. If you can show yourself that will be great”. 

A few moments of silence followed by a whooshing sound, and a slight breeze to her left.

“You prayed?” the Angel in the beige trenchcoat asks in his monotone, hoarse voice. 

“Yeah” she responds standing up, “I never got to properly thank you for bringing me back”.

He looks at her in slight confusion which is normal for him. He never really understood human emotions to begin with.

“Of course” he says.

“I just wanted to say thank you for bringing me back from The Other Side, and letting me see my dad for the first time” she tells him with a smile on her face.

“It’s my job. It wasn’t your time, and I had to bring you back to Earth” he says to her. 

“Yeah I know” she says, staring off into the distance, “What do you know about dreams?”.

Once again he looks at her confused, “Dreams? They’re images, visions and stories that one’s subconscious manifests when in slumber. It can be in many different forms”.

Slightly shaking her head, “No, no I mean. What does it mean when you have the same dream over, and over again. Everytime it happens it never progressives. It always ends the same way, nothing else happens”.

“What is this dream you’re having?!?” he asks, head slightly tilted.

“It’s with Lilith, she threatens me that if I don’t say yes to her. She’ll hurt Paige, and then Gabriel shows up, and banishes her. It’s the same thing over, and over, and over. It never goes any further”.

Castiel narrows his eyes at her, eyebrows furrowed, “I could mean that Lilith is somehow manipulating you into saying yes, and harvesting your soul”.

Kate nods her head, “Yeah I assume, but she won’t get the answer she’s looking for”.

“Now the part with Gabriel, well that means because he’s your guardian angel, and he has to protect you”.

“Yeah I figured that” she responds, nodding. Exhaling. 

Cas sighs, “You know he’s proud of you. He talks about you whenever I go up to Heaven”.

Kate smiles, “Gabriel talks about me?”.

He awkwardly clears his throat, “Well actually. Your father. Joel, he talks about you and Paige a lot. He’s proud of both of you”.

Kate gasps softly, smiling through her tears, “Oh, he um, he talks about us?!?”.

Nodding his head, “Yes”.

She wipes her tears away, her breath shaky. “I’m leaving Hope County”.

He nods his head, “I know. I heard about the deal Flora made, and the 10 years ends soon”.

“And that’s why I’m leaving” she says, “Again thank you for everything”.

“I know, I’m glad I can help. See you soon” he tells her with a smile. 

Before Cas could disappear. She stops him.

“Cas wait!!” she exclaims. He turns to face the young Winchester, “Why didn’t you come to my save when I prayed to you all those months ago?!?”.

He sighs, looking at the ground, “I can’t tell you much, but I will tell you this. I was told by God, Chuck not to get involved because of his plan for you, and your family”.

She stares at him in utter disbelief, “I-I don’t get it!?!”. 

Nodding his head, “I know. I know, I didn’t understand it at first. I still don’t, I just want to leave it at that”. 

With that said Castiel disappears, leaving Kate by herself outside by the trees with Haley sitting at her side. 

She goes back inside the house. “Are you ready to go?” Morgan asks as she walks in.

“Yeah all set” she responds, nodding her head. 

They put the remaining of their stuff in the car, Haley jumps in the back seat, Morgan in the passenger seat and Kate drives. Starting up the car, and Carry on Wayward Son plays on the radio. 

Once I rose above the noise and confusion. Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion. 

I was soaring ever higher. But I flew too high. 

They drive off down the road as the song plays. 

Driving out of Holland Valley, driving past the fields, and small businesses. Over the bridge, passing the University and the diner. Entering the Henbane River. 

Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think, I still was a mad man. I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them say. 

Carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don’t you cry no more. 

The Henbane River, the toxic bliss flowers, drugged up angels and blissed out animals.

“Not gonna miss this place” Morgan mutters to herself as she looks out the car window. 

Joseph’s Word, the eye sore of a statue. Someone should destroy that shit, blow it up. Destroy it into teeny tiny unfixable pieces. 

Masquerading as a man with a reason. My charade is the event of the season, and if I claim to be a wise man, well. It surely means that I don't know. On a stormy sea of moving emotion

Tossed about, I'm like a ship on the ocean, I set a course for winds of fortune, but I hear the voices say. 

Carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest don’t you cry more, no.

Halfway out of the Henbane River, only a few miles away from the Ancient Bison Tunnel, one of the two exits leading out of Hope County. 

Kate stops the car in the middle of the road, putting the car in park. Pausing for a brief moment. 

Lowering the volume on the radio, Morgan looks at her in confusion. 

“What is it?!?” she asks.

Kate sighs, and says “I can’t believe we’re doing this. We’re leaving this inescapable town, only because of John, and I have this feeling that. That once we leave, we won’t be welcomed back”.

Morgan tilts her head in confusion, “What makes you say that?!?”.

“It's just a feeling I have. Like if we were to come back for our friends. It’ll be ugly, bloody and violent. Bad shit will happen, I just- I just feel it, and it won’t be good. Chaos will happen”.

“You’re just feeling guilty about leaving John, and all of our friends here. They know, they understand. They get that family is important to us. We told them we’ll be back, not sure when, but we’ll be back. John will see you again”. 

She reassures her friend, and to continue their exit out of Montana.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right” she says before taking a deep breath and an exhale, “Let’s go”.

Kate turns the volume on the radio back up, and Kansas finishes playing. 

Now, Turn The Page - Metallica plays. 

She lets out a soft chuckle, putting the car back in drive and they drive up the road towards the tunnel guiding them out of Hope County.

On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha

You can listen to the engines moanin', out this one-note song

You'd think about the woman, or the girl you knew the night before

“Here we go” Kate says with a hint of relief in her voice. Morgan looks over at her friend with a smile on her face. 

But your thoughts will soon be wandering

The way they always do, when you're riding 16 hours

There's nothing' much to do, and you don't feel much like riding

We just wish the trip was through

They go through the tunnel, on the other side, they see a sign that says “Next stop Missoula - 5 miles. Jackson, Wyoming 386 miles”.

Kate sighs, “Jackson, here we come” they drive down the long, and lonesome road of Montana. Going back home. 

THE END

[canyouimaginethatstory]

What He Deserved (Lucifer X Reader) REQUESTED

AUTHOR NOTE:  This was requested by @oopstheregoesmysoul13​ Summary: While bonding with Jack, you also start to notice feelings for a certain blue-eyed archangel. Will he return them?

You come from an alternate world where you were under the rule of the archangel Micheal. It was a world in complete ruin. You had managed to survive by hiding most of your adult life. Then you ran into to a group run by a woman named Marry Winchester and a young boy named Jack. They were building up a group that was dead set on taking down the archangel ruler. You learned soon that Jack was actually a nephilim. A being that was half-angel and half-human. He was also the son of the archangel Lucifer from their world. Jack was sweet and caring. He had this innocence about him that no one in your world had. You were soon welcomed into the group as you learned to use different weapons and was filled in on the plan to take down Micheal. You didn’t think it would work but it was worth a shot.

As time went on you bonded with Jack. You could almost say you looked at him like a son. You two were doing training and supply management together. One day the angel warding went down and Mary and a few others went to check it out. Turns out it was Mary’s son Dean but tragedy had struck and her other son Sam had died before they reached the group. Your heart broke for Jack. He seemed to be very attached to Sam being as how hard he was taking it. “He can’t be dead!” Jack said becoming more upset.

“Hey Jack,” you said gently rubbing his back. The young boy turned to you and hugged you tight, “it’s ok Jack. It’s ok sweetheart,”. You softly patted his back trying to comfort him the best you could. You all soon headed to the camp area. Jack didn’t really leave your side and you were ok with that. Mary was trying to talk Dean into not going back to get Sam’s body when a bell sounded indicating something was happening. Mary, Jack, and Dean watched in shock as a tall guy with long brown hair and blood-soaked clothes appeared. Dean ran over to him and hugged him. “Who is that Jack?” you asked. He smiled.

“That’s Sam,” he said. Just then another guy came walking into the camp. He had shaggy blond hair and he was smirking a little. You even noticed his shining blue eyes. Everyone gathered around as the man approached them. He smiled at Jack. You could see a look of pride on his face. 

“Hello son,” he said. Soon there was a lot of shouting from Dean. He didn’t want Jack talking with who you now knew was Lucifer from their world. It got so bad Jack got upset and fluttered off.

“Where’d it go, dad!” Dean shouted at Lucifer.

“Actually, I think he fluttered away because you were trying to get his uncle to kill his father,” you stated matter of factly, “I’ll go track him down,”. You didn’t notice Lucifer watching as you headed off. He had never had anyone stand up for him before or take his side. You found Jack sitting behind a big tree. “You ok Jack?” you asked.

“I don’t like it when there’s a bunch of yelling,” he said.

“I know Jack,” you said sitting beside him and pulled him into a loving hug.

“Do you think I should talk to my father?” he asked.

“Jack,” you said, “I think everyone deserves to know where they come from. No matter who your parents are. If you wanna know about your father than I support you in that,”.

“Thanks, Y/N,” you said, “I love my mother, but you feel like a mother to me too,” You smiled.

“That means a lot to me, Jack,” you said giving him another hug.

“We should head back,” he said as you both stood up. He held onto you tight and zapped into a little shed area. Once you gained your balance you noticed Castiel and Lucifer standing by the doorway. They had been talking but stopped when you two appeared. You looked and Jack and gently patted his arm.

“I’ll be by the weapons if you need me,” you said. You offered a smile to the two angels as you walked passed. You could hear a bit of shouting from Dean. You couldn’t understand why Dean was so dead set on Jack not knowing his real father. Despite him being the devil or whatever. Soon the boys came over to the weapons stand with Lucifer. That’s when you noticed he had cuffs on.

“You can keep an eye on him until we come up with a plan,” Dean said and walked away. You rolled your eyes. As you prepared the weapons you could feel the archangel’s gaze on you but it didn’t bother you.

“So, you’re close with my son?” he finally asked.

“I am,” you said. Just because everyone else was rude to him didn’t mean you were gonna be.

“What’s he like?” he asked. You looked over at the angel. You could tell by the look on his face that he just wanted to know his kid.

“He’s sweet. Cares,” you started, “wants to protect the ones he loves,” you went on and Lucifer listened to every word. It wasn’t scary or intimidating to speak with the archangel. You found it easy. Lucifer was feeling the same way. Usually, any human annoyed him but he found himself wanting to talk with you more. So you two did talk. Small things at first. Then the angel told you the story of how he fell. You listened intently. The pain and sorrow on the angel’s face as he told his story broke your heart. You were tearing up listening. When he finished you both sat there in silence for a moment. “Lucifer I am so sorry,” you finally said, “that you had to go through that. And just so you know I don’t think you fell,”. He looked at you. A small hint of tears in his eyes, “you were pushed,”.

“Ok,” Dean said, “we’re gonna head on foot to Dayton,”. Soon you all were walking. Gabriel went ahead to look for any signs of angels. As the group walked Lucifer and Jack talked. You were getting so annoyed with Dean. Why couldn’t he just let Jack talk to his father? Soon the group met with Castiel who had gone ahead a while ago to look for Gabriel.

“Any sign him?” Dean asked. Castiel shook his head no then suddenly Gabriel came bursting through some trees.

“Angels!” he shouted. Before you all knew it a group of angels appeared. You all drew your weapons. Just as they were about to smite you they all turned into puffs of smoke. You all turned to face Lucifer as the cuffs melted off his wrists. You listened as he explained to the group how he knew the cuffs wouldn’t actually hold him in this world and then pointed out to Jack that he was being a team player. Later that night The boys, Cas, Jack, and Mary went on a rescue mission for that world’s Charlie and their world Ketch. Everyone else stayed behind to defend the camp in case Micheal’s angels showed up. You were standing a few feet away from the angelic brothers as they talked. With each harsh word Gabriel spoke you could see the pain building in Lucifer’s face. It made your heartache seeing tears in the angel’s eyes. Once Gabriel was far enough you walked over to Lucifer. “That wasn’t true,” you said. The archangel looked a little taken back.

“What?” he asked.

“What you’re brother said,” you explained, “you can change and you can love and care. Why no one else can see it I don’t know,”. You went to walk away, “oh, and since no one else said it earlier. Thank you. For saving our lives,”. Lucifer just stood there. He wasn’t really sure how to respond. Later that night when the boys returned Bobby filled them on the vote the hunters had and that everyone voted on going to their world with them. You couldn’t wait to leave. It had to be better than this place. Plus part of you had known there was another reason you wanted to leave as you snuck a glance at Lucifer. By the next morning, the group had a bus up and running. To Gabriel’s surprise, Dean was going to let Lucifer drive. As you were helping people board the bus you noticed Jack walking off. “Where’s he going?” you asked Sam as you both hurried off after him. You and sam listened to Jack explain about how he wanted to defeat Micheal. A bit of pride built in you as Lucifer was to trying to make Jack see that wasn’t the best idea. As Lucifer headed back to the bus with Jack you could tell Sam wasn’t happy that Lucifer was able to change Jack’s mind.

“Mom,” Jack called looking back at you. You smiled, “will you sit with me on the bus?”. 

“Sure Jack,” you said heading back. The drive to the portal was uneventful. Lucifer would keep glancing back to you and Jack. The way Jack seemed so calm and happy talking to you. The archangel couldn’t help but notice his growing attraction to you. But he knew it was foolish to let himself thank maybe you felt the same way. You soon arrived at the portal and people started getting out of the bus. As everyone made their way to the portal explosions were heard as something big hit the ground a few times killing a few hunters in the process. You and the group watched as Micheal appeared from the settling smoke. His wings folding back and fading away.

“Gentlemen,” he said. Your heart sunk a little as Lucifer headed toward him, “Lu, you don’t really wanna try this again do you?”. Lucifer’s eyes turned red and he shot a blast of power at Micheal. It pushed him back but Micheal shot back and within two hits Lucifer was down. You couldn’t stop yourself as you ran to him kneeling down.

“Are you ok?” you asked. He looked up at you shocked. Like he couldn’t fathom you actually checking to see if he was ok. He nodded. You heard Gabriel shouting at the boys to go while he fended off Micheal. You helped Lucifer up and headed for the portal. Sam stopped you.

“Not him,” he said.

“Come on Sam,” Lucifer said, “I'm hurt,”.

“Sam either he goes or I stay,” you told him.

"Y/N,” he started but you cut him off.

“My terms Sam,” you said. Sam rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he said and you all went through the portal just as Micheal stabbed Gabriel. Over time the hunters from your world got used to being in the bunker. Some even stayed in the bunker. The place almost had enough rooms. You were in the kitchen with Jack. He looked lost in thought.

“You ok Jack?” you asked.

“I’ve been considering something,” he said.

“What's that?” you asked.

“I think I want to get to know my father,” he said,” he’s been trying hard to show others he can be a team player,”. It was true. Lucifer had been helping. Sometimes he did complain or get really snarky but he helped.

“If that’s something you wanna do I’ll support you,” you said.

“Do you think I should?” he asked, “do you think he’s evil?”. You smiled and softly laid your hands on his.

“I think your father has done bad things,” you started, “but I can understand why and I do think with a little more time and trust he can continue to redeem himself,”.

“Why do you think that?” he asked.

“Has anyone ever told you how your father fell from grace?” you asked. Jack shook his head.

“Go to your father and ask him to tell you,” you said, “and take it from there,”. Jack nodded and headed to the other room where Lucifer was. He had heard everything you and jack said. A little while later you were cleaning up from preparing dinner. You turned around and were startled by Lucifer standing behind you.

“Thank you for telling our son to talk to me,” before you could even register that he had said our son or say anything his lips were on yours as he gently pulled you to him. To the archangel’s relief, you wrapped your arms around him too and kissed back. When he knew you needed air he ended the kiss. You locked eyes with the angel.

“You’re welcome,” you said as he rested his head against yours.

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[littlemisswinchester7]

No one else but you (destiel)

Summary: My version of the alley scene (season 5 episode 18 : Point of no return) 

AN: Tell me if you want to be tagged ! (As usual, I do not own the characters or the universe)

Dean had to face many enemies in his life, but he never thought he’ll have to face Cas one day. The angel was very important for him. Before he met Castiel, the angel of the Lord who saved him from perdition, Dean was 100% sure he was straight. Yet, Cas managed to break all of his walls, he became a part of him and he just won’t let go. Lately, Dean was always having wet dreams. Every night, he was dreaming of his angel. Yes, Dean was basically obsessed with Castiel. He wanted to feel Cas inside of him, hear him whimper in pleasure. He wanted the whole Castiel, only for him.

He’ll never mentioned his fantasies to his angel though, he was worried it might frighten him. Despite that, Dean was devoted to his angel and he would always help is Cas needs him. However, the hunter was a human first, and he reached the point of no return. He couldn’t bear the pressure of Michael and Lucifer anymore. He was about to say “yes”, he’ll say “yes” and everything would be over. Yet, Castiel wouldn’t let him do this. Dean never saw him like this, he seemed really pissed. Usually, the angel always had a neutral expression. By the way, it bothers the hunter because he can never guess what’s going on in his pretty head. He wanted to read in Cas’ mind the way Cas was reading in his.

 Dean never thought that Castiel could throw him and beat him up in a damn alley. Ok, Castiel has every right to be mad, really. After all, the angel gave up everything and risked his life just to save him. But he thought Castiel’s anger would be expressed through some insults and that he’ll be gone for a few weeks. Ya know, the usual “radio silence”. This, what was happening right now, was never something Dean would have thought of. Castiel threw him on a concrete wall. His whole body was sore but he didn’t fought back, he wasn’t even trying to avoid the blows. The simple idea to hurt Castiel was making him sick. Dean’s indifference seems to upset Castiel even more as he gripped Dean’s jacket and threw him against the grid at the back of the alley.

 Dean hit the grid pretty hard, and he fell back on the ground with a cracking sound. His whole body was bruised and he was pretty sure that his ankle just broke. He saw himself dying here, in an filthy alley, at night, killed by his best friend. He could tell that Castiel wasn’t done with him just yet. The hunter was now staring at the angel’s clenched fists. In a burst of dignity -or stupidity- he wasn’t sure, he straightens up as he can and starts yelling.

 “Do it! Just do it dammit!”

Dean noticed a slight change in Cas’ gaze, as if the angel realized that he may have gone a little too far. Yet, his gaze was still intimidating. The hunter was shaking and he was trying really hard not to let the angel notice the pain he was in. It was useless, of course. Dean knew that Cas always knows everything. Nothing could escape his ocean eyes. The angel got closer and then he kneeled in front of him.

 “I believe I’ve never felt such a rage before, Dean”

 “Yep, I think I’ve noticed this, Cas.”

The hunter tried to move his leg a little, in order to ease the pain. Castiel is the one who did this to him, yet, he cannot blame him. He received the beating of his life, yes, but after all the crap he’s done in his life, Dean thinks he deserved it. When Dean saw that Cas’ hand was moving toward him, he tried to step back a little. After what happened, who could blame him though ? The angel’s hand reached Dean’s forehead and Dean realized that he was healed. Dean suddenly looked up, he was looking at Castiel in the eye. He was lost, he had no idea what to think anymore.

 “Look, Dean, I’m very disappointed at you, but I still don’t want you to suffer.”

 “I… Cas, you have to understand my place. You’re an angel, you’re above all this but I’m just human. I did this for my brother. Maybe you don’t understand my actions right now but you have to know that it was for Sammy. I wanted a better world for him.”

Suddenly, Castiel’s gaze was unbearable to support and the hunter looked down again. God, Dean felt himself becoming hard. Castiel’s rough voice and his intense gaze could turn him on so easily. Dammit, he though about being fucked right here in this alley where anyone could see them. He was unable to think about anything else now, and he was painfully hard. He couldn’t stop himself from moving a little to find some friction and he barely hold a moan which would have betrayed him. Cas was still staring at him, but his expression was different. Dean had the feeling to be completely exposed, it was like Castiel could see his every thoughts. Maybe he could, actually. We were talking about a friggin angel here. The simple idea turned the hunter on even more if it was possible. Oh jeez, he needed to find a way outta here and fast, otherwise he might just start to beg Cas to fuck him. The angel bent his head on the side like he often did, and Dean dared to look him in the eye again. This time, he couldn’t look away. He felt a strong current between them. It was impossible right? Castiel had no attraction for him.

“Look, Cas, I’m truly sorry to disappoint you but I can’t and I won’t regret my actions.”

“Oh, but I can guarantee you that you’ll regret them, and soon enough.”

Dean couldn’t reply as the angel gripped him by his shoulders and smashed him against the nearest wall. Castiel looked down at the bulge in Dean’s pants before looking up in his eyes.

 “Well, Well it looks like you have a thing for violence”

 “What ? N... No, I”

Castiel put his hands on the wall around the hunter’s face before smashing his lips on Dean’s. Castiel’s tongue was dominant and Dean opened his lips to let his angel in. Dean whined loudly when Cas bit his lips and then, licked it to ease the pain. Castiel’s mouth was sweet and dominant at the same time. The hunter forgot everything and kissed his angel back. He gripped Cas’ hair and pulled them a little which caused Castiel to moan. Wow, this was the hottest thing he ever heard. When Cas pulled back to let them both breathe, the Hunter could only see lust in Cas’ eyes.

“I know you were doing this on purpose Dean, I know that you do everything you can to piss me off. Stop fighting this.”

“Caaas, I…”

“Don’t pretend that you don’t want this. Don’t forget I’m watching you. If only you knew how many times I answered your prayers only to find you in your bed moaning my name while you were sleeping.”

Dean couldn’t bear it anymore. Hearing his angel talking like that, it was so hot. He suddenly decided to act and he reversed their positions. Castiel looked surprised.

“If only you’ll let me speak, you’ll know that I want nothing else more than I want you.”

Castiel smiled whilst he unbuckled his belt and pulled his jeans and his briefs down. He gripped Dean’s hair and forced the hunter to kneel in front of him.

“I want you to blow me Dean.”

The young man loved how his angel could change his mood like that. One moment he was patient and sweet and the other he was dominant and violent. Dean weren’t very submissive, but Castiel weren’t just a regular someone. He’ll do anything for him just because he wanted it. That’s why he did what he was asked. He started to stroke a little Cas’ length and the angel sighed at that. Dean loved to watch Cas’ every reaction. Whilst looking at him in the eye, Dean licked the little slit before he licked the whole thing. Dean whimpered when Cas grabbed his hair strongly. The hunter opened his mouth and took as much of his angel as he could. He put his hands on what was left and he started sucking and stroking his lover. He couldn’t get bored of the incredible noises that his angel was making. Suddenly, Cas took the control and he imposed his own rhythm. Yet, Cas was still careful not to hurt his hunter. Dean loved it when Cas took control and he moaned over and over. Cas felt every moans on his length and he eventually climaxed in Dean’s mouth. The hunter swallowed his cum under the angel’s approval.

“Well, well, who would have thought that Dean Winchester was a cock slut ? It’s obvious that’s not the first time you’re doing this.”

Dean moaned softly and reached the bulge in his pants to seek some relief.

“Oh, so you’re not even gonna try to deny it? The truth is, Dean that you’re a little slut. You want my cock that’s it ?”

“Y…es Caaas, please, I need you, help me.”

 Castiel lifted Dean up and kissed him tenderly before he brought them back in the bunker with his magic. Dean needed a few seconds to realize where they were.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“I need you.”

“What do you want me to do Dean? I need you to be precise.”

“I, I want you to fuck me.”

Dean wasn’t even embarrassed to say those things. He was so turned on that he’ll do anything. Castiel snapped his fingers and Dean was now completely naked, at his angel’s mercy. Castiel then start to took off his tie slowly without breaking their eye contact. He seemed surprised when Dean stopped him.

“Cas, I, I really like your clothes… You were wearing them in all of my dreams and…”

Castiel shushed him by putting a finger on his lips.

“Ok then, I’ll keep my clothes on.”

The angel pushed Dean on the bed behind him.

“Turn around and I want you on all fours.”

Dean moved quickly. He was so needy for his angel. Castiel climbed on the bed behind Dean and leaned in order to kiss Dean’s back languidly and Dean moaned softly.

“You’re so good to me right now Dean, you’re beautiful, and mine. Do you understand what it means?”

“Yes, Castiel. Only yours.”

In this moment, Castiel was back to his old self. His motions were delicate and tender. The angel’s hands were slowly stroking Dean’s body. The angel managed to linger on the erogenous parts. A weird sound escaped Dean’s throat, it sounded like a purr and Castiel enjoyed it very much.

“Do you have lube?”

Dean slightly bent himself, opened the first drawer of his nightstand and picked a small bottle that he gave to his angel. He couldn’t see what was happening behind him but he felt his impatience growing as he heard that Cas had opened the bottle. Castiel poured some on his fingers before he pressed one of his fingers in Dean’s hole. Dean’s body tensed a little at the intrusion, but the soothing voice of his lover relaxed him.

“It’s ok Dean, don’t worry. You’re doing just fine.”

When Cas curled his finger and reached Dean’s sweet spot, the hunter whimpered and Castiel put another finger inside Dean. He started to move his fingers in and out of Dean at a small pace to prep him. Dean was moaning his angel’s name over and over.

“Caaas! It’s fine, I’m fine you can take me now.”

Castiel was waiting for this precise moment. He took his fingers off of Dean who whined at the lost. He then placed his erect member in front of Dean’s entrance before slowly pushing in.

“Cas, don’t worry I can take it.”

“Remember you asked for this.”

Castiel fully pressed himself in Dean in one quick motion. He was balls deep in his lover and he was making a bunch of noises. Dean tensed and screamed of both pleasure and pain.

“Dammit, you’re so tight around me Dean, Are you ok?”

The concern in Castiel’s voice warmed Dean’s heart. He knew that Castiel really cared for him. But they’ll have plenty of time for that after. Right now, Dean needed the dominant Cas to fuck the hell outta him.

“I’m ok, I just need you, fuck me hard Cas.”

Castiel growled at that and started to move at a really fast pace. Each of his thrusts made them both whimper in pleasure. Dean couldn’t hold the screams from his throat. He was screaming Castiel’s name. When Dean felt his orgasm build in him he screamed.

“Caaas, I’m close, I’m gonna…”

At this exact moment, Castiel stopped moving causing Dean to almost cry in frustration.

“Cas what the hell?”

“Dean, if you wanna come you will repeat everything I say.”

“W, What? But Cas…”

“I won’t disobey again.”

Dean had no reaction, so Cas pulled himself out a little. That’s when Dean understood. He repeated the sentence and was rewarded by a powerful thrust.

“I will never let anyone but you fuck my sweet little ass.”

“I wi… aaah will never let anyone but you fuck my sweet little ass.”

“Ok, good boy.”

Castiel started to thrust in Dean again and the hunter came a few seconds after that. When he felt Dean’s hole clench around his cock Castiel came too. They both fell on the bed, Castiel was still in his lover. Before the angel could say anything, Dean gripped his tie and kissed him.

“You’re mine too Cas, I’ll kill anyone who comes a little too close.”

Cas smiled to that and he hugged Dean.

“I don’t want anyone but you Dean.

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