#I’m making some REAL mistakes with my time today lol…..

[astraariel]

eternal snow

pairing: sanji x fem!reader

summary: your love for sanji was unconditional, unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same seeing as there were petals coming out of your mouth.

word count: 3.6K

warnings: spoilers (?) just the name of a character from the whole cake island arc, it’s a modern!au so I don't mention anything about the actual arc!

tags: loosely based on “eternal snow” from fullmoon wo sagashite; angst; hanahaki disease; implied cheating; modern!au; hurt no comfort; lovesick; requited unrequited love

author's note: I think along with everyone opla is taking over my life so it encouraged me to finish this fic I started months ago lol. once again I like angst and this is soooo ooc of sanji he would never cheat I love him so much I’m sorry. on another note, I really like AmaLee’s cover of this song so you can give it a listen if you want to feel the vibe. 

also, ignore the fact that Pudding is sixteen, she’s older than that in this. I couldn’t really think of anyone else to have/didn't want to think of a different character. just know, she’s of age. other than that, ignore grammar mistakes and enjoy♡

──★ ˙ ̟read pt2 here!

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You weren’t entirely sure how you had gotten to this point. You were certain that you two would be together forever. How you had unknowingly lost the one you love so dearly, you would never know.

Sanji was a flirt and you loved it, he could simply say that you looked beautiful today and you’d melt. Hell, that’s how you too met, Nami had introduced you two and Sanji wooed his way into your heart. You knew that he had you in the palm of his hand, but you weren’t sure you could say the same for him.

Sanji was an attentive lover. When he loved, he showered you with his attention. You could always tell that his presence was there whenever you spoke. He’d care and cater to every request you asked of him, not allowing you to lift a single finger. It’s who he was.

You were blinded by your love for Sanji that you never noticed him slipping away from your grasp.

The two of you were currently sitting together on your living room couch. Sanji mentioned there was a new show he wanted to watch, so here the two of you were. Your attention was focused on the TV in front of you while his was on his phone.

You glance at him, “Who’s that?” 

He hadn’t looked away from it for more than 30 seconds throughout the last episode. You watch him out of the corner of your eye as he looks at you. 

“Oh, it's the new dessert chef at the restaurant,” he shuts his phone off, “I've been assigned to help her around and show her the ropes,” he smiles, “It’s nothing, you want popcorn?” 

You turn to him, “Of course I do.” He gets up to walk to your kitchen, “Hey, I love you.”

He walks up behind you and bends down, kissing your head, “And I love you more.” He stands up and you hear him rummaging through the pantry for a popcorn packet. 

You cough slightly, “Could you grab me some water, Sanji?” He shouts back a response but you don’t make it out because you’re too busy pulling a petal out of your mouth.

♡‧₊˚

After that lone petal had made its introduction, it planted itself as a constant. Every so often for the following weeks, you’d feel something weird in your mouth, only to pull out a single flower petal.

You weren’t sure what was going on, but you couldn’t bring yourself to think too much about it. On top of the weird cough you were having, Sanji was also acting off. 

It was small at first, just tiny, little white lies that he’d tell you. 

Like when he’d say he was tired, that he was going to bed, but you could hear him on his phone laughing at something from the room. Or when he claimed that his phone had died and that’s why he hadn’t texted you back even though you were hanging with Nami at the time and he had replied to a video she had sent him a minute after you texted him. 

That was just the first few weeks.

You weren’t sure when the white lies became real lies but it had only spiraled more. You had found that he wasn’t even bothering with lying anymore, simply stating that he was too busy to come over or that he didn’t even want to hang out with you that day.

Sanji would claim to be too tired and not bother to see you for an entire week, but then he’d call you complaining that he missed you and question why the two of you hadn’t gone on a date recently and then insist that he was going to cook dinner for the two of you. Those times were always the best. It made you feel like nothing was wrong. 

It was pure whiplash. 

You were never sure which Sanji you were gonna get that day. Maybe it’d be the Sanji that you loved or this new person who had taken over and wouldn’t even text you back for days on end. 

Recently, he was your loving, doting boyfriend. Which caused you to completely forget about the flower petals you were currently collecting from your mouth when you were being distracted by Sanji’s full attention. 

You were lying on Sanji’s chest recounting your day to him when suddenly the sound of his phone pinging cut you off. 

A quiet chuckle made you peek up at Sanji, his eyes were looking at his phone intently, whatever was on his screen, clearly captivated him more than what was coming out of your mouth.

You sit up, his blatant disinterest in your day annoying you. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Your voice cuts through the room.

He looked up at your now sitting form, it looked like he was just acknowledging your presence.

He lets out a noise of confusion, “What?”

“Are you angry at me? Did I say or do something that pissed you off? Because, please, just tell me, I can't take it anymore.” you pleaded.

You notice Sanji’s body tensing, his brow scrunching in even more confusion. He laughs awkwardly, “Baby, what are you talking about? I’m not angry.” he looks away, “I love you, you know that right?”

And suddenly, you weren’t angry anymore. 

You smiled, “I love you too.”

He glances at his phone again.

But you don’t care, because he loves you. 

Satisfied with his response, you settle back down but are interrupted when you begin to cough. Quickly, you stand up to fetch your handkerchief from your pocket, wiping your mouth swiftly. 

You look back at Sanji, “I’m gonna-” but before you can finish, you feel the familiar flowers clawing their way up your throat. You walk out of the room coughing. 

Sanji doesn’t look up from his phone.

♡‧₊˚

He was late.

Again. 

You were exhausted. The constant lies that you fooled yourself into believing for the sake of your heart were beginning to wear on you. 

The old hoodie you were wearing enveloped you in an attempt to provide yourself some level of comfort that no one could really give you anymore. 

It’s late, around midnight, last you checked. The spaghetti dinner left on the table you had cooked had long gone cold. The Baratie had closed hours ago and Sanji still wasn’t home. 

You sit in complete darkness, the TV is currently rattling off an old rerun of some show you didn’t watch. You’re too tired to get up and find the remote to change the channel so you settle on watching the old comedic sitcom. You’re holding your trusty handkerchief that’s become your best friend in the past months; ready to close around your mouth in an attempt to catch the petals of flowers that’d come up your throat every so often. 

Your eyes glaze over the screen when you hear the door creak open. Footsteps were heard as a soft clatter sounded throughout the room from Sanji setting his keys down on the counter. 

You sit up slowly, in an effort to prohibit any intense coughing. 

Your eyes meet Sanji’s surprised ones, “You’re still awake? It’s late, you should go to bed.” he looks away. 

“You missed dinner.” You look over at Sanji’s form, he’s stiff, you note.

“I stayed late to help close, sorry we can reschedule.” He brushes you off swiftly.

“Was she there?” The argument had already begun, why not fuel it some more?

Sanji whips his head at you, an incredulous look gracing his features. “Who are you talking about?” Acting dumb was never a good look on him. 

Your tired eyes stare at him, “I know you’re spending time with her.” The venom in your tone was palpable.

You were over the lies. You were over the constant tiptoeing between each other, you’re honestly surprised he still even decided to come over. It would have been better for him to stay at his place and just call you in the morning to tell his lie. 

He has balls, you’ll give him that.

“Do you even love me anymore?”  

The silence that surrounded the room was upsetting. Of course, he didn’t, who were you fooling? You had all the proof you needed in all of the trashcans around your house, discarded tissues soaked in blood, and petals filled the bins.

Sanji scoffs, “I don’t know what you want from me.” He doesn't answer the question, “Why are you asking if I love you, you're being needy.” He stares at you before continuing, “If you don’t trust me,” he looks away, “Then maybe we should break up.” With a tone of finality, he turns around and walks toward the door, the sound of it shutting echoing throughout the house.

You’re left alone in the silence, the ticking of the clock on the wall muffling your coughs that were accompanied by flowers and blood. 

♡‧₊˚

With the new development of the blooms coming out of your throat, you felt defeated. You’re not sure what you did in a past life to deserve this. You didn’t wish this on anyone, it was a lonely and awful feeling, physically and emotionally. 

You’ve gotten used to your condition. It had been a month since you’d seen Sanji after he had broken things off and in that month, you would constantly find yourself leaning over the toilet bowl, hacking up blood and flower blooms. 

You finally had the courage to look up what you assumed was hanahaki disease. It was a rare condition, but you were certain that was what was causing you pain. The only cure was to have surgery that resulted in the patient forgetting about whomever they had loved. That you’d act as if nothing had happened, that you’d live in ignorance bliss afterward. 

Sacrificing your heart for your life. 

After that month, you had decided to go to a coffee shop forcing yourself to get out of the house and do something. 

So you went to Sanji’s favorite coffee shop. 

Why you had put yourself through that? You weren't sure.

You remember wrapping your hand around the door handle, ready to walk in when a wisp of light auburn hair had caught your attention inside the cafe. 

There she was. Pudding. The girl who had replaced you. The one who had captivated Sanji’s attention in a way you could only dream of.

Sanji stood beside her, you were certain he couldn't see you from inside, his attention was fully on Pudding’s face, absorbing whatever story she had been telling him. 

He had never looked at you like that.

Did he ever love you? Were you that stupid to even see the truth? Had it been there all along and you were simply too blind to notice?

An “excuse me” had brought you back to reality and had you rushing back to your apartment in hopes of not bumping into Sanji or Pudding. You weren't sure your heart could take it if you were forced to talk to them.

After that defeat you noticed that you were no longer hacking up petals, but fully blossomed flowers, you couldn’t walk for a long distance without wheezing, the flowers constricting your airways preventing you from wanting to do anything. You knew you were nearing the final stage, soon roots were going to begin to show up, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go to a doctor. You had read that the longer you kept this from being treated, you’d enter the point of no return. 

So, you simply waited.

Your mind was reeling. You never wanted to stop loving Sanji. You didn’t care about the pain that it brought you. 

You don’t care that you still long to have Sanji tell you that he loves you. To tell you and for you not to immediately have to turn away and cough up blood and flowers. 

You missed him. You yearned for him.

After Nami had found out why you and Sanji broke up, she went on a rant about how she was going to kill him, on how he could have done this to you. You weren't sure if you had ever seen her get so angry before. 

But even after that, you confessed that you still loved him. 

She proceeded to call you insane, but she simply didn’t understand. She didn’t know about how his eyes would sparkle when he would go on about a new recipe that he developed and how he was certain that it was going to be the new hit at the Baratie. She didn’t know how bashful he got when you complimented him on his food. How he’d kiss you like how it was the first time you were kissing each other.

You loved him. And you would forever love him.

But he haunted your life. Leaving you lying at night, not even allowing you to find comfort in your dreams since he haunted those too. When you’d close your eyes you could only mourn for the love that once was. To mourn for him even though he was alive and well, but could you say the same for yourself?

You had long accepted that you were going to die. If anything, you willed it. Never did you want to forget your love for Sanji. The idea that you would never be able to recall how he made your heart pound every time he’d look at you, would be a nightmare.

But you were tired. 

In the months after the cafe incident you would go through phases where the pain would turn to anger, cursing Sanji, wishing you two had never met, wishing that Nami had never introduced you too. 

But the anger would never stay directed towards Sanji. It would always circle back to you. And anger would turn to pity and pity would turn to sadness. 

You wanted to cry and scream at the sky, to yell at the world, to question why love felt this way. Why couldn't he just love you back, why were you being punished for simply loving him unconditionally?

You suffocate yourself in the love that you have for Sanji. Sacrificing your every breath to simply feel the true and fierce love you felt for him. You’d cry until you were gasping for air, til you were choking up flowers that were clogging your lungs. You wished, begged, for it to go away. Wishing that you had never fallen for him. 

But even with all the pain he caused you. You could never hate him.

You could never hate Sanji.

You can’t even bring yourself to hate Pudding, it wasn't her fault that Sanji was infatuated with her rather than you.

And you could never truly hate him for that.

The sterile white walls and the smell of disinfectant wafting through the air brought you back to reality. 

Recalling how hours before Nami had found you on the ground of your bathroom, post-hacking your brains out from the various blooms of flowers that rose from your throat at what seemed like at every hour of the day as of recently. You hadn’t heard her call for you when she entered your apartment so you weren’t able to hide anything from her. 

“Are you insane?” Her voice ricocheted in the bathroom after you had explained to her what had been happening to you for the last couple of months.

You were numb the entire car ride to the hospital as Nami yelled at you for being so careless. 

“Why are you letting that boy kill you?” 

Why were you? 

Why were you putting yourself through this pain, knowing he would never love you again?

The recent memory reminded you of Nami’s presence on the side chair that was placed beside the crunchy bed you were currently sitting on. Her brown eyes met yours and smiled softly at you. 

“You’re gonna be okay.” Nami’s attempt at reassurance was comforting to you for 5 seconds before the door swung open revealing the doctor. 

“Hello,” she said your name, “you’re the one with hanahaki disease, correct?” You glance over at Nami before replying to the doctor in confirmation. “Well, unfortunately, it has been developing for a while and if you had come just a little bit later it would have been untreatable, so I highly suggest proceeding with the procedure as soon as possible.”

Your hands grew clammy. This was it. You were going to be relieved from this grueling life you had found yourself in. You would finally be able to go back to normal. 

Normal. 

Would it truly be normal if you didn’t love Sanji anymore? Could you truly live with yourself knowing that you gave up the one thing that has been keeping you going? You guess you wouldn’t actually remember your love for him if you did the surgery but your heart would know. Your soul would know. 

You wished that all of this pain would go away. Longing to run back to Sanji, for him to stop the anguish that you felt. To have him whisper that he loved you and for you to not cough up flowers anymore. To know that he truly meant the words that he was saying.

You wondered how your life would have gone if you had never fallen for Sanji. Would your life still lead you to this very moment of hell that you’re living currently? You would think that hell would be hot, blazing with heat, but all you felt was the coldness of lies that you believed that spewed from Sanji’s lips when he spoke to you. 

You would like to think that you wished you had never fallen into this trap. That your heart never fell for him, but you knew better. You knew that he had your heart from the beginning. You were doomed from the first interaction.

Wasn’t it a true act of love if you could let the person go? Wouldn’t it be the final seal of approval of your love if you went through with the surgery? The love that you felt for Sanji would be proven by this simple act. 

You felt Nami’s hand grab yours. Her eyes were filled with remorse, a sadness that you could distinguish as the same sadness that you saw in your eyes ever since that first petal came to be.

Anticipatory grief.

She was grieving your love for him already, grieving for your heart, how you would never love again, how you would never love him again.

You sigh. 

♡‧₊˚

You wake up to the soft murmurs of the television in the corner of the room. 

Your mind was hazy, from what, you weren't entirely sure yet. It felt as if you had lost something like it was on the tip of your tongue, but you just couldn’t think of exactly what it was.

Guess it wasn’t important.

Your eyes wander over to your surroundings, the hospital room is bare except for the basic, usual furniture. Your eye caught movement out of the corner of your eye, turning your face to examine what it was.

A balloon with the words “Get well soon!” fills your vision, and your gaze scans over the hearts that surround the bubble letters in bright yellow hues. You reach over the side table to grab the card that sat under the balloon. 

Hope you feel better - Nami.

Sad that you had missed your friend, you made a mental note to pay her a visit after you were discharged from the hospital to thank her.

A soft knock echoed throughout the room, your attention to the door opening revealing the doctor. “Hi, glad you’re awake. The procedure was a success. You should be good to go soon, but take it easy for the next two weeks.”

The procedure.

You quickly scour your brain for answers of who it was you loved but came up short. 

Guess that was the point, wasn’t it? 

Before you could thank the doctor, rushed footsteps were heard outside the room, hasty knocks piercing the air along with the clamor of the door opening quickly. 

Sanji’s blond hair comes into view, and he stands, wide-eyed, near the doorframe. He was panting slightly, a sign that he possibly had been running before he got here. 

He says your name quietly, the doctor gives you a nod before excusing herself from the room to give you guys privacy. 

“Sanji,” you smile brightly at him, “Did you get off of work? Why are you here?”

His eyes shift over to the balloon on the stand beside the bed. “Nami told me about the…procedure.”

“Really?” you roll your eyes teasingly, “It’s not that big of a deal honestly, that Nami. Always the worrier, thank you for visiting me though, you’re a good friend, Sanji.” You look away before you can notice Sanji’s face falling. 

You look back at him, “Oh, could you take me home? I probably shouldn’t be driving right now.” you laugh quietly and scan Sanji’s face. His mind seemed to be somewhere else, perhaps he was really busy at the restaurant. “If you can, if not I’ll just call Nami.” 

“No,” he clears his throat, “Yeah I can take you home.” 

You offer him a smile, “Thanks, hey I think I may have to fill out some paperwork. Could you grab it while I go change?” You begin to stand up slowly before he rushes over to help you up.

You look up at him to thank him again when you realize his eyes are watering. 

Weird. 

Your eyebrows knit in worry, “Hey, are you okay?”

He blinks rapidly while looking away from you. His hand lets go from his grasp on your arm and runs it through his blonde hair while turning away from you. “Yeah, I’m fine.” he coughs, “Uh, I’m gonna go look for those papers.”

He walks out of the room before you can respond, leaving you slightly confused but you shake it off before you begin to look for your clothes. 

You don’t see Sanji standing outside the doorway, coughing up a flower petal. 

[rimaiahwrites]

more looks into the life of connie and his princess puh-leeze !!! that fic was so cute i’m obsessed

YESS I LOVE THEM SO HERE YALL GOO

(This soo late lol imma edit it tomorrow sorry about any mistakes) kinda short too but anywho

—

Connie’s good girl

The school year has been so rough for y/n, you have been more stressed than ever and was nearly burnt out. Connie knew this and was helping as much as he could but a lot of the time he was also busy with making drops and making ‘business’ plans with ony so when he was very pleased to see you running in the living room with a piece of paper in your hand waving it around with a big grin. “Pa look, look!” You said extremely excited. He grabbed the paper and realized it was your report card and it had only As and A pluses on it, no B or C in sight. He grinned before picking you up and spinning you around in his arms, “Good job princess, all AS!” He kissed your cheeks than your neck making you squeal and giggles since you were so ticklish. “I knew you could do it mama.” You smiled shyly, it always felt good to get so much praise from Connie, other then yourself he was the only person you ever truly wanted to make proud.

“You proud of me papa?” You grinned standing up on your tippy toes to kiss him on the lips. “Mhm very proud I think my princesa need some rewards.” You beamed with glee because that means Connie was going to get you whatever you wanted. You were already spoiled as it is but now that he had a real reason to spoil you today you knew it was going to be something special.

You went to get ready right away. You sported a mini flare skirt with a cute colorfully cropped top with spaghetti straps and pink kitten heels. Your hair was in a half up half down style with two ponytails. You were very cute to say the least.

“You look cute today mama, hope you got sum’ under this short ass skirt tho.” Connie said walking up to you running his hands to you ass to check. You rolled your eyes playfully, of course you did because you knew he didn’t play about any of that with his. “Yes I do now let’s gooo” you say pulling him to the front door. You connected your phone to his Bluetooth in his all black hellcat because of course You being the princess passenger you always got to play your music in the car unless you wanted to hear his. Connie speed out of his driveway like a damn crazy man you were truly surprised he hasn’t gotten into any car accidents with the way he drives, him being a speed racer makes it no better either.

Once you were in the mall it was like a kid in a candy store, you were pulling him to every store your eyes landed on, you got sneakers, heels, couple of bags, cute clothes makeup really anything your little heart desired and Connie was right there supporting you pulling his card out as soon as you stepped up to the cashier. It made your heart swell every time he did too, not just because he was spending his money on you but because he truly treated you like a little princess.

“Con which one?” You asked holding up two bags one dark pink and the other light pink. “I don’t know baby which ever one you want.” Connie mumbled kissing you on the cheek. You huffed and pouted “that’s why I asked you I don’t know what I want papa.” You rolled your eyes still looking at both of them not paying any attention to your surroundings clearly because the older white lady standing closely behind gasped and eyed you shocked at the pet name that you normally addressed Connie as. Connie snorted a chuckle looking the lady in the eye and pointed to the dark pink one. “That one you got a lot of clothes it will match with plus papa loves you in that color.” He said pulling you close and sliding his hand down to you ass gripping it a bit inwardly laughing at the white haired women awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact. You grinned and placed the other one down planting a big kiss on his shape jawline. “I think this is all I want pa let’s go home my feet hurt.” You cried playfully limping a bit.

Connie walked out the mall with Seven bags filled in his arms and you clinging on to him like a koala bear because your feet were hurting to bad from the heel and Connie of course spoiled you to no end and one little whine from you and next thing you knew you were being carried to the car.

“Thank you for all this I really appreciate it” You shyly admit, he was so fine that sometimes it intimidated you a little like his side profile, the neck tattoos going all the way down his arm and hand. He smiled back and leaned over to place a kiss on your soft lips. “You’re welcome mama, my pretty girl so polite let’s get home so I can give you your other presents.” He smirked as he bit and tugged on your bottom lip softly making you whine and clench your legs tightly.

-

Connie pulled his gaming chair to the mirror in his bedroom and pulled his shirt off, his tattoos on his chest now visible, you had just gotten out of the shower and you had nothing on but one of his big black t shirt. No Panties or bra. “C’mer.” You walked over to him with shaking legs knowing he was about to fuck you dumb. He pulled you on his lap and got started on your neck, kissing gently and pushing his hands under you makeshift nightgown and squeezed your boobs making you moan out a little bit. You bite your lip and watched him through the mirror. He was being so gentle with you like you were made of glass, you rubbed your legs together making your slick spend from your entrance to your clit. Connie quickly caught on and grinned against your neck. “be patient mama imma get to it.” You tried your best to slow your breathing but he was in your ear whispering and touching you. You were getting turned on very quickly. Connie ignored your needy moan and continued on with the teasingly foreplay before he pulled you against his chest and pulled your legs apart opening you up.

Your breath got caught in your throat when you saw your pink insides and Connie staring holes into mirror. “Look at this pretty pink pussy…so wet is that all for me?” You were quick on nodding your head. “I know.” He took his hand and rubbed his fingers up and down your slit slowly, killing you on the inside. He rubbed your clit for a beat before sliding his thick fingers in. Your pussy was already clenching onto him. “Ah-mm please go faster” you moaned. He nodded before he stroked his fingers deeper hitting your spot. Your eyes rolled shut and leaned your head back on his shoulder. “That feel good? Tell papa let me hear you.” You tried your best but only a pathetic whine was heard. That was good enough for him..for now. He pulled his fingers from you and placed them in his mouth sucking your cum off. “Why’d you stopp?” Your spoiled ass whine kicking your foot up a little. He chuckled and flipped your around so you were facing him. “Cuz I want you to cum on my dick not my fingers now stop whining.” He pulled his sweatpants down and his dick strung out, it’s tip was pink and wet with prenut.

“Come get up on it mama.” He pulled you up higher so you were above him and rubbed his tip up and down your slit before dipping in your sweet warm pussy. Your eyes widened from the shock it had only been a few days since he had given you dick but it was so big to you that you didn’t think you’ll ever get over the shook of his tip sliding in. “P-pa- ehhh” he looked up at you seeing the look of discomfort on your face. “I know it’s all the way in.” He said before slamming you down on it. “Oh fuck! Oh fuuuuckkk!” You moaned placing your hand on his shoulders trying to balance yourself but that was all thrown off because he started thrusting from up underneath you.

You gasped loudly grabbing his shoulders. “Waitt papa wait!” He smirked and thrusted harder, his dick hitting your g spot perfectly everyday. Your finger nails gripped into his strong tattooed arm.

“Yeahhh I’m getting in that pussy huhh mama” he said his voice raspy and deep, his tongue folded on his bottom lip. Your pussy was so tight and gripping his dick so good. You nodded your head already feeling out of it.

“Tell me how it feel baby…tell daddy.”

“Good, feel good daddyy.” You whine trying to sit up to ride him, you got up on your toes and laid your hands on his torso, he grinned big watching you “you gon ride like a big girl? Oh you acting outta character today princess.” You giggled but as soon as you sunk down you quickly remembered why you didn’t ride him often. “Go ahead you can do it baby.” You slowly but surely begin going quickly hitting deeper than before. Your knees knocked together when it started getting a little to deep and good.

“Gimme it! Gimme that daddy dick papa please I been a good girl promise!” You went on and on.

“Get it than mama you in control right now.” Connie said through small groans, you shook your head you wanted to keep going but all your strength was getting zapped. You fall onto his chest shaking like a leaf, his dick popping out. “Aw princess I thought you was gonna be a big girl and take it?” Connie chuckled smacking your ass making you jump a little.

“Papa I tried it’s just so hard and my legs aren’t that strong.” You pouted.

“That’s ok, that’s why I go to the gym.” He chuckled and picked you up by your legs and put his dick back in.

He Bounced you up and down, your loud wails were surely heard by the neighbors but Connie couldn’t give a fuck he was making his pretty girl feel good and that all that mattered to him…and you. You felt like you were in a whole different dimension you were hearing color and seeing sounds, your eyes felt like they were permanently crossed.

Connie loved your fucked out face, the drool and tears making you even prettier.

“M’ gonna nut daddy please don’t wanna make a mess on the floor waitt!” You sobbed, Connie ignored you and pounded harder because that’s exactly what he wanted.

“I know baby I know gimme that juice it’s okay daddy will clean it up.” He smiled gripping your face with one hand and the other holding you up, he placed a sweet kiss on your lips.

You whined against his lips and let it all out on his dick and floors. “There we gooo, mhmm.” He groaned rubbing his pink tip up and down your slit making your cum fling all over the both of you. You placed your face in his neck embarrassed hearing the loud splashing sounds. He smiled and waited to until your breathing evened out before setting you down on his bed. “You gonna suck daddy up?”

“Mhmm” You hummed giving him the prettiest smile before bringing his dick up to your lips.

“Daddies need to get spoiled too sometimes.”

[icyg4l]

Pick-A-Girl Group: What Purpose Do the Women In Your Life Serve?

Continuing on with my Women’s History Month series, I am going to do a reading on how the women in your life feel about you and the effect of these feelings. I am going to be using the True Heart Tarot Deck and the Archetype Oracle Deck. These readings are supposed to uplift, relate to and inspire women so I hope they serve their purpose. I Without further ado, please pick your pile. 🫶

***Disclaimer: Regardless of your gender identity, the women that are in your life deserve to be celebrated as long as they have pure intentions. Much love. 🩷

Left-to-Right (1-4):

Pile One: If you resonate with the image of FLO, then you deserve the whole fucking world. Pile One, the women in your life absolutely adore you. You probably resonate with the song’s theme: recognizing beauty in yourself when everyone is against you, specifically as a black woman. You have come such a long way. The women that are currently in your life have seen you make mistakes and allowed you to do so. They recognize your evolution. A lot of you have a best friend who you’ve been friends with for a long time and she is so proud of you. She is proud of the person that you have become. This pile has some cheerleaders around them. I feel like the women in your life are meant to take inspiration from what you are going through right now. I think that you may be going through your redemption arc.You’re forgiving yourself for a lot of things that you’ve done in the past. The women in your life see that and are following suit. After all, living life does mean not being a robot. These women who are around you are all ears, very receptive to what it is that you are doing with your life. You’re like their Oprah, lol. If you have a story to tell, share it with her. She may need to hear it. I channeled the show: Beyond Scared Straight; specifically the parts where the prisoners talk to the kids about their life stories and the reasoning for why they should not end up in jail. I feel like you could be someone’s mentor, whether they’re younger or the same age as you, perhaps even older. You are someone’s Reesa Teesa too, lol. I get the feeling that you need to be talking about yourself, Pile One. There is an audience full of women who are willing to hear you out and listen. When I pulled from the oracle deck, I got the following cards: 

God: Benevolence and compassion. Recognizing the eternal force within yourself and others/Despotism and cruelty. Using power to control people 

Mother: Nurturance, patience, unconditional love. Joy in giving birth to life/Smothering or abandoning children. Instilling guilt in children for becoming independent.

Poet: Expresses soul insights in symbolic language/Turns a lyric gift to negative or destructive effect. 

Cards Used: 2 of Swords, 4 of Discs, 9 of Cups, Prince of Wands (RX), King of Discs, Four of Cups, Temperance.

Pile Two: If you resonate with the photo of Destiny’s Child, you got some ride or dies around you for real. I think that you’ve been through hell and back with the women in your life and they do not play about you. I think the women in your life want you to know that you are so worth it. I’m not going to lie Pile Two, it sounds like you’re in a toxic love situation and your girls want you out of it. Your friends, cousin or little sister could have told you that you need to exit stage left multiple times. They absolutely believe you deserve better. Hypothetically speaking, If y’all fell out today and an emergency happened tomorrow, they would be on the way to the hospital. I feel like family is so important to you. They feel like you’ve forgot about them but I don’t think that you have. Circumstances make it difficult for you all to see eye-to-eye. The women in your life want you to know that you are not alone. They will forever be there for you no matter what, even if you have lost your damn mind. These challenging times will make the bond between you and these women stronger. When I pulled from the oracle deck, I got the following cards: 

Artist: Expressing a dimension of life that is beyond the five senses. Inspiring others to see life symbolically / Using talent as an excuse to mistreat others. Posing as the Starving Artist to elicit pity.

God:  Benevolence and compassion. Recognizing the eternal force within yourself and others / Despotism and cruelty. Using power to control people 

Goddess: The feminine expressed through wisdom. Nature, life force, and sensuality / Exploitation of the female nature and form 

Cards Used: Ace of Discs, 9 of Swords, Princess of Cups (RX), Prince of Discs, The Hierophant, Princess of Discs, 4 of Cups (RX), The Devil (RX), 10 of Cups.

Pile Three: If you resonate with the photo of TWICE, you got the grandmother spirit around you. Did you grow up in the church? Or at least with a god-fearing grandmother? I feel like the women in your life hate to see you unhappy and this is what you’re feeling right now. I think that you may be uninspired/unfulfilled with what life is giving you right now. It’s not an uncommon feeling. But smiling can make all the difference. The women in your life want to see you smile, make you smile and laugh. They want to be there for you like how your grandmother was. No one will ever replace Granny but her presence is always there. You may be questioning God/your higher powers because of something that deeply affected you. But the women around you want you to not feel ashamed or want you to feel like they are judging you. They have been in the same predicament. They only want to see you get better. They hate to see you like this. It may be hard to do this but look at the glass half full, rather than half empty. They want you to get back to yourself, the version of you that isn’t defeated. When I pulled from the oracle deck, I got the following cards: 

Child: Nature: Friendships with animals. Communication with nature spirits / Tendency to abuse animals, people and the environment. 

Destroyer: Releasing what is potentially destructive. Preparing for new life / Intoxication with destructive power. Destroying others’ dreams or potential.

Child: Magical: Seeing the potential for sacred beauty in all things. The belief that everything is possible / Pessimism, depression and disbelief in miracles. Believing that energy and action are not required for growth.

Cards Used: The Devil, Princess of Cups, The Star, Judgment, The Moon, Temperance, Seven of Swords.

Pile Four: And lastly, if you resonated with the photo of the Spice Girls, you seem very sensual. Are you a SWer? Do you attend pole dancing classes for fun? Do you know someone who does either of these things? I feel like the women in your life appreciate how physical you are. You’re probably an artist and you're sensitive about your shit too. The women in your life feel as though you have a lot of talents. You’re very multifaceted and they love to brag about it, especially the older women. You could been the cousin who had to show off the latest dance move. So as a result, you became the leader of the pack. You can be naturally nurturing but it can drain you. The women around you feel like you need to put up some boundaries so that you can still worry about you. They respect your quality of being a giver, but do you even respect yours-[GUNSHOT]. There is a woman that you are close to that admires a quality that you hate. She compliments it any chance she can get because she wants to uplift you. I feel like people always try to touch you, whether it’s your hair, your arms, or even your butt. The women around you could immediately shut it down or call them out or defend it. They want to protect your innocence. Even though you are grown, you have that ingenue within you. They know how you can get (especially while under the influence) so they refuse to let you get that way. When I pulled from my oracle deck, I got the following cards: 

Servant: Delight in serving others with a free and loving heart / Using the lack of money as an excuse not to move forward with life 

Bully: Highlights your tendency to intimidate others. Helps you confront the inner fears that bully you / Conceals deep fears behind verbal or physical abuse.

Hedonist: Inspires creative energy to embrace the good things in life. Celebrates the beauty in yourself / Pursues pleasure to the detriment of health. Indulges at the expense of others.

Cards Used: The Star, The Lovers, Judgment, The Emperor, 7 of Cups, 10 of Swords, Ace of Cups, The Moon, 8 of Cups (RX).

[sixthwater]

Hello! I will be doing some short pick a card's to help see if I'm the reader for you! Today we'll be doing a personality reading with my astrology oracle cards. Let's go!

Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)

Decks Used: The Arcana or Astrology, Astrological Oracle Cards, claves astrologicae, astrological dice

Disclaimer | Pinned | Tip Jar | Paid Readings

Pile One

Cards: Pallas Athena, Eighth House, Eleventh House, Fourth House, Cancer, Pluto Rx, Sun, First House, Solar Eclipse, Virgo, Capricorn, Eighth, Saturn

So far I’m not really getting *you*, I feel nothing. Not in a bad way, but everything is about other people. Which is funny because I have a video I haven’t started yet about how a character’s transformation throughout a series is through his relationships, which I think is what you offer to others. It’s not a subconscious thing, it feels as if you actively seek to help people or point out issues within relationships or people so they can fix them. You value bonds and community and you like things to be even. However this isn’t just you so let’s dig a bit deeper.

Ah I was just thinking ‘they probably really need to feel comfortable’ just as Cancer flew out. Mmm you might have fourth house placements not necessarily Cancer ones, but it’s just more about being easily...frazzled? Oh you’re difficult to explain lol. It’s not that you’re easily frazzled because you can confront/spot these issues within others and it’s not simple things like ‘oh well did you talk to them’, it’s usually deep wounds that long conversations unearth. However at the same time you’re very simple and a bit introverted? This introversion is mainly because you feel more comfortable around people you know or in places you’re familiar with, but you also make people around you feel comfortable enough to be that vulnerable. I’m doing it again- did you. Pick Pile 2 from my pac fooreeeveerr ago when I couldn’t even focus on you - for what makes you attractive. A lot of your personality is like a guiding light, which is a bit annoying because that’s not really describing you it’s about your effect on others you know. So what I can get from that is...you might hold a lot of stuff in. With Pluto coming out in reverse, because I always take my oracles upright, it feels like struggling to deal with that energy on your own. However you have all of this glowing energy to welcome others so that they can be loved and comforted even though you can’t do that for yourself.

Solar! Oh, are you one of my cardinal siblings?! I would guess signs but whenever I pull this section they never match hehe, but I did guess maybe a Cancer Rising, however that doesn’t add up — I’m rambling. Understanding why I took Perfectionist, you sometimes present yourself as someone who needs to always seem okay. I don’t think it’s physically? It’s more like that Virgo cringe of being wrong or making mistakes or like. Existing, let’s be real lmao. However you are very open to new phases in your thinking or view of the world — which does remind me of when people do room makeovers. Changing their aesthetic for something else? It’s like you sometimes do that with who you are (forgiving of your core values). As I said, this section tends to be people’s view which can sometimes conflict with the first pull, but in this case it can match up because the Eleventh can speak to group integration and the Eighth can be constant transformation, just not in the way people seem to think.

Okay with your last roll you have to have some Cardinal dominance with Eighth house placements lmao, happy Solar Eclipse! Really the only thing to add is that you might be a bit restrictive with how you express/present yourself? As in you overthink or you feel like you’re not allowed to do certain things because you didn’t suffer enough for it? Unfortunately problems and emotions will always present themselves regardless of your status, you don’t have to be at a certain level to be frustrated, it’s okay. Also you feel a bit goofy, I hope you’re allowed to let that side out enough.

Songs: Friends – Flight of the Conchords, Girls & Boys – Good Charlotte, Perfectionist – Flash Forward, Drew Barrymore – SZA

Pile Two

Cards: Twelfth House, Hygeia, Last Quarter Moon, Sixth House, Sun, Venus, Jupiter, First Quarter, Seventh House, Uranus, Aries, Eleventh, North Node

Oh? Well, as a side note the cards came out without issue, so there’s a feeling that you know yourself quite well. More than you might realize because I feel like you...there’s a feeling of you making adjustments for yourself without realizing. There’s a house opposition but it feels like it’s working well so far here. In tune with your body and soul, so when something feels off or you’re feeling sluggish, you make adjustments to one portion of your life and you’ll be feeling a bit better the next week. There’s also a pretty forward quality here about you, you don’t pretend to be anything you’re not and you’re down to earth. This first pull can also point to a healing quality about you — the dynamic of the 6th & 12th can usually have someone who ends up working for charities or having a natural ability to help others in some form underneath their daily routine.

I already had a feeling this pile was something else. I don’t know there is a very relaxed energy about your. Even while listening to your first song, it still felt more calm despite the meaning of the song? Considering these are Benefics and The Sun, it’s like you do your best to always look on the bright side of things. I mean yes this can point to overindulging and running away from issues, especially since we got the Twelfth, but I’m feeling more tranquil and like...happy. I’m not getting negativity. So it’s just minding your business and trying to live a peaceful life. Also lowkey spiritual/philosophical, always looking for more.

Not surprised by these cards. Due to your actual energy, you seem very harmonious and pleasant to be around. However looking at these songs I’m getting it’s clear that you’ve experienced connections/situations that weren’t so pleasant. As I mentioned before, you’re someone who prefers to live a happy life, you don’t want to stay in negative places. It’s reflected in these cards that you’re very determined to move on and live the life that you want. From the perspective that you might’ve just had the worst thing happen to you and you’ve moved on next week, it can seem a bit perplexing to others haha.

Oh! That’s interesting. There is that peaceful energy to you, but due to what you experienced you want to protect others. Not in a sacrificial way, but you want to implement change. You’re not someone who wants to sit around and wait to protect after the incident has occurred. Very passionate, possible leader material, and so much care to those around you and the community that you could foster. I absolutely love your energy.

Songs: Best of You – Foo Fighters, When the Day Met the Night – Panic! At the Disco, Demons – Imagine Dragons, Awake and Alive – Skillet

Pile Three

Cards: Virgo, Sun, Taurus, Hygeia, Sagittarius, Pisces, Cancer Rx

I keep being drawn into the hole on the Sun card. I’m getting nothing else, so I think right now there is some healing that needs to be done to the ego — or identity. To piece this together, it’s like someone is being too self-critical of who they are, and to solve this they need to implement self care because I also got that. That could just be parts of the personality but I’m getting. Nothing. Let me see.

Oh my god I can’t read any of this literally. Sag-Pisces makes me think of Jupiter influence, and could point to avoidance for this particular reason. It feels like being asked what to drink, not knowing what to choose so asking to try everything. Everything feels very flimsy, so either I have a lot of people within this pile or we just need to work on who we are at our core a bit longer which is just what happens in life. Cancer being in reversed is also important, because I never take my oracles that way unless they fly out as such. This signifies a lack of nurturing in some sort. Or the emotions are being pushed to the side. Ego can’t survive without emotion — it’s just a paper bag at that point. It feels more like trying to fit into another archetype or be someone that you’re not? Like following trends as an example. I’m pulling advice for you, one second.

Energy to Embrace: Whale, Oyster, Peacock

Yeah, you have to embrace your own qualities and put them back out into the world. All of these cards show that there has been some damage done, so I can understand that there is some insecurity or fear in doing that, but masking as someone else is not the answer and it’s causing more internal confusion/damage. You have gifts that the world should see. Everyone does. We each have something that no one else can offer, which is why we’re here. Don’t water yourself down just because someone else believes you deserve to be. Work on yourself bit by bit and I hope next time I can see this pile glowing.

**As I was finishing up I realized the first song could be from another point of view towards you and you're the second song, but that might only resonate for a few people**

Songs: Oogie Boogie's Song — Ed Ivory and Ken Page, Read Your Mind – Tayla Parx

Pile Four

Cards: Venus, First Quarter Moon, Cancer, Eros, Libra, Gemini, Cancer, Third House, Seventh House, Virgo, Second, Sagittarius, Uranus

Enjoying the finer things in life and all of it’s pleasures. I’m not really feeling an intense energy besides you starting off with a Britney song but it feels more like...hidden intensity. When pushed you’ll bite back. Besides that pretty calm? You know your worth and you’ve very giving to others. Can be a bit infatuated with the idea of love, but I don’t think it’s too unrealistic or imbalanced. You’re very peaceful but also determined to achieve your goals.

Not all my favorite signs??? So you definitely enjoy interacting with others, definitely flirting with and annoying people as well. I’m still getting a really chill energy despite having these signs hit the table haha. I think you’re pretty sweet, enjoy giving your time to others and would appreciate the same back *most* of the time. You can be sensitive to the energy around you considering we got both Venus and Eros before. I can see the messiness from here but I will look away because it’s funny.

Yeah, relationships are pretty important to you. Doesn’t have to be romantic, just making the connection with others puts a smile on your face. You could also be seen as someone who is really easy to get along with. Another thing is you might be known in your community? Like local, not a big name. I’m not sure why it shot out with that, but 3rd is giving me that your parents talk a lot or they’re very involved, therefore people end up knowing you. You could also be very dedicated to what you do? Maybe not a perfectionist but you take your job or craft seriously? So you could be seen as very intelligent or very gifted due to your ‘spotless’ record haha.

Okay also maybe a bit of a smart-ass because the second I said ‘what the hell is this’ I got the last song — which is basically ‘I do whatever I want’. I don’t think that’s your dominant personality, but as I said before there are times where people test you or think lowly of you and that’s when it comes out. Like ‘ah they’re too spineless to do that’ and then you do it to prove them wrong or just piss them off honestly. With the second house I don’t think it’s money that’s a concern, but more like that items that you have, or the clothes. It’s like how you’re seen and present yourself, which can be counted as valuables because they reflect you. Sagittarius and Uranus are both outspoken and well, you want to make sure you’re noticed sometimes.

Songs: Piece of Me – Britney Spears, OT – John K, Speak — DBMK, ^_^ – CHANMINA

[pedropascalsx]

Dabble request: F reader with Dieter Bravo. He finally wins a major award and the reader decides to award him with smutty sex

THE AWARD.

I slightly changed it and had them enter a bet… I hope that’s okay and I hope you like it. Also you sent this in April and I missed it, i’m so sorry it took so long.

Summary: you jokingly bet that you’ll fuck your best friend dieter bravo if he wins an oscar.

Warnings: Smut. P in V. Oral. (M&F receiving). Betting. Strong language. Dieter Bravo being… Dieter Bravo.

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F! Reader.

Word Count: 2053

A/N: I tried LOL. Thank you to @littlebirdsbookshelf for reading an unfinished version of this fic and encouraging me to finish it. I didn’t edit it and I’m too scared to read it back… so I don’t know how many mistakes are in it 😭😂 ENJOY!!

You groan as your phone wakes you up from the most comfortable sleep you’ve had in weeks, before reluctantly kicking off your covers and stepping out of bed.

The photo of Dieter Bravo's smug face flashing up on your phone screen makes you roll your eyes and curse his name before you swipe to answer. “It’s 5AM Diet, if someone isn’t dead, you’re able to be,” you growl into the phone.

“Shut up,” he says with an obnoxious chuckle, “I’m cashing in on our bet, pretty girl.”

“What?” You say before stuttering, “No. Not today, I’m not playing any of your annoying games this early.. . I’m hanging up and I'm going back to sleep, asshat.” You say, with a wide smile spreading across your face from the sound of his chuckling.

“I can hear you smiling.” He remarks and you roll your eyes again at how easily he can read you.

“What do you want, Dieter? I’m tired.”

“I already told you, I’m cashing in on our bet. March 21st 2015. You said you’d fuck me when I win an Academy Award.” Dieter recalls, his voice dripping with its usual arrogance.

“Buying a fake one from Etsy doesn’t count,” you sigh, imagining he’s just dragged himself back to his hotel from some club, “Dieter, if you haven’t already, go to bed, get so—.”

“I’m nominated,” he interrupts, ignoring the irritation in your voice, “My agent called me fifteen minutes ago. For Hunger Strike - Best Leading Actor.”

“Dieter, you better not be fucking with me.” You squeal with excitement, almost jumping up and down on the spot.

“Not yet, I’m not, pretty girl.”

“When are you home?” You ask, suddenly forgetting how tired you are.

“Eager are we?” He says, his eyebrows raising and the first real smile forming across his face in weeks despite his nomination.

“Shut up, asshat, you’ve got to fucking win the thing first… and if I recall correctly, which I do, I think I said I’d consider fucking you if you ever win one and I only said it so you’d take that damn role.”

“Mhmm. Nope. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word ‘consider’ fall from those gorgeous lips before now,” he teases. “But jokes aside… Tell me you’ll come with me, I hate those fucking things, they’re only fun if you’re swooning over how handsome I am in a suit sitting next to me.”

“Shut up, asshat.”

“Come with me, pretty girl, put those shiny statues to shame, show them how you shine brighter.” He says, unaware of just how fucking cheesy he ends up sounding.

“Only if you buy me a burger after.” You say, glad he isn’t there to see the way you’re unable to stop yourself from smiling.

“Deal.”

*

You haven’t left his side for the past few days, he had asked you quietly to stay with him while he went through the required amount of press and you had made sure that your hand was close enough for him to squeeze when he needed it.

And today was no different, the confident Dieter Bravo the whole world thinks that they know, nowhere to be seen and instead the sweet Dieter that a few people have the pleasure of knowing sits beside you, looking at the dress bag containing the tuxedo he’ll be adorning in just a few hours time.

“You okay?” You ask, quietly bumping your shoulder against his.

“Ask me again when this is all over,” he says, before taking a generous sip of his drink. “I fucking hate red carpets.”

You take his hand and squeeze it a few times, before resting your head on those broad shoulders that you love so much.

“Whatever happens tonight, I’m really fucking proud of you.” You murmur into his skin, “Always have been, you’re the best friend i’ve ever had.”

He shushes you before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, grateful that you’re with him. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

“Let’s do this.” You say, with a little scrunch of your nose.

*

“And the Academy Award goes to… Dieter Bravo.” The gorgeous actress announces and you swear you can hear his heart beating.

He stands slowly, fiddling with the front of his jacket before turning to face you, immediately smashing his lips to yours in a fleeting kiss that steals your breath before shaking the hand of his director and making his way to the stage.

His speech is short but insightful. He makes sure to make eye contact with you as he thanks you for encouraging him to take the role and then shuffles off the stage as quickly as he can.

“Will you be mad if I suggest we skip the after party?” He asks after they finish engraving his oscar, the award ceremony now over and more hands shook than he could possibly be bothered to count.

“Not at all,” you say, resting your head against his shoulder, and inspecting his shiny new award.

“Room service burgers and a shitty movie to fall asleep in front of?” He suggests, before wrapping his hand around your waist.

“Sounds like heaven.”

*

“It’s really fucking pretty,” you say, your hands wrapped around the statue.

“Yeah,” he says, from somewhere behind you. Unable to stop his eyes from scanning up and down your body, and unable to ignore the way his heart leaps everytime he looks at you. “Second prettiest thing in this room.”

“I’d call you a charmer, but I'm pretty certain you’re about to announce that you’re in first place,” you say, turning around to face him with a giggle and a signature scrunch of your nose.

“No. It’s you.” He says, “In every room. It’s you.”

“Charmer.”

You both stand in comfortable silence for a few moments, just staring at each other before you take a step towards him. “Academy award winner, Dieter Bravo.”

“The one and only,” he scoffs, with a roll of his eyes. “You look really fucking beautiful by the way.”

“Shut up, asshat.” You mumble, now standing toe to toe. Unable to stop thinking about the bet that you had made a few years earlier, one that neither of you had mentioned since the day he was nominated.

He’s been your best friend for years. You met on the set of his very first movie, while working as a makeup artist and immediately struck up a friendship. And while there has always been an obvious attraction between you both, the fear that making a move and acting on it could potentially ruin your friendship had kept those feelings at bay.

But standing here and seeing the way that he’s looking at you, you can’t hold back, so you don’t. You surge forward and capture his lips, kissing him with the same intensity he had kissed you with earlier this evening, but this time it didn’t have to be fleeting. His mouth swallows your moans and his hands start to roam your body, squeezing and grabbing anywhere they could as he kisses you back.

He carefully pulls down the zipper on the back of your dress, dragging it slowly and savouring every second of this moment, a moment he’s been dreaming of since first laying eyes on you.

“Dieter,” you murmur softly against his jaw, wanting him to increase his painfully slow pace of undressing you. “Please.”

He increases his pace, frantically pulling on the material and letting it pool at your feet, before helping you step out of it and guiding you backwards towards the bedroom. His hands still greedily grabbing at any and every part of you as he lays you down.

He wastes exactly no time, pulling your panties off in one clear sweep and diving his head in between your legs. The noises he makes are loud and desperate as he laps at your clit with a messy intensity. Alternating between licking and sucking your little bud, only satisfied when you’re screaming his name and tugging at his signature messy locks before soaking his face with your arousal.

You whimper his name as he continues to lap at your clit, before gently pushing him away as it gets too much. Giggling slightly at the sight of his soaked face.

“Are you planning on getting undressed?” You ask as he moves up your body.

“Not this round,” he growls, before capturing your lips again. His movements are sloppy as he fumbles with his belt, pulling it through the loops and throwing it across the room, before pulling his pants down enough to expose his cock. You push him back slightly, and lay down in front of him on your tummy, a moan slipping out as you take a good look at his cock. Thick, long and throbbing. The tip flushed red with a bead of pre-cum, you lean forward, push up the bottom of his shirt and pepper light kisses on the swell of his tummy, nipping a few times before taking him in your mouth.

He groans your name as you hollow your cheeks, your jaw immediately aching from the sheer width of him and slowly you start to bob your head. Gagging slightly as he rocks his hips and pushes past your tonsils. The snap of his hips meet the rhythm of your enthusiastic mouth. After a few minutes he groans impatiently at not being able to touch you, before pulling out your mouth leaning over you and slapping your ass and then spreading your cheeks and tasting you this way.

You take him in your hand, stroking and flicking your wrist in perfect strokes, moaning his name in a perfect little chant as he uses his nose to tease your clit. You cum with a yelp of his name, taking you both by surprise as he soothes you through the aftershocks with gentle coos and little flicks of his tongue against your pretty little clit.

“On your back, pretty girl,” he orders, giving himself a few rough strokes as he watches you. “You ready for me, baby?” He says with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“I'm ready,” you confirm with a giggle, yelping with excitement as he pushes into you. Praising your ‘perfect little pussy’ as he fills you to the hilt. His arms swoop beneath your knees, so he can fuck into your deeper. “Move, D,” you beg as he waits, wanting you to adjust to the size of him.

The second you give him permission, he’s rolling his hips back, watching your face intently before snapping them forward. Loving the sound of your pretty moans as he thrusts back into you. He bends over and presses his lips against your face, thrusting himself in and out of you. Finding that spot and dragging his cock against it with ease, loving how reactive and tight your pussy gets around him.

“Oh Dieter,” you whimper, almost delirious with pleasure.

“I know, fuck, I know, baby girl,” he murmurs, “Taking my fat cock so well, baby.” You love how vocal he is, the sound of both of your moans filling the room. “You know how many times I’ve dreamed of this?” He whispers into your ear. “Every fucking day, since I met you.”

“Me too,” you stutter, seconds before your pussy clamps down around him and everything goes black. White hot pleasure erupting behind your eyes and his name becoming the only word you can speak.

It's a pleasure like you’ve never experienced, you feel him everywhere and you still want more and more. He keeps his pace as steady for as long as he can but his hips begin to falter, his pace more stilted as his cock begins to throb and he pulls out.

Stroking his cock hard and fast as he pants your cunt with thick pearly ropes of his cum.

“Holy shit.” You say with a giggle, “Even better than I imagined, D.”

“Me too,” he says as he collapses on top of you, leaning his weight onto his elbows. Kissing you gently, before nuzzling his face into your neck.

“So how was your night?” You ask with a giggle. “End as good as it started.”

“A million times better.” He says quietly.

You giggle loudly, “Better than winning the most coveted award in acting?”

“Not even a competition. You would win every time.”

[hunieday]

Yuki Rabbitube Mini - Rabbit Chat

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Yuki: I saw you two in my dream today

Yuki: Thank you for appearing

Nanase Riku: Huh!? I appeared in your dream!? 😲✨

Yaotome Gaku: I’m kinda happy!

Yaotome Gaku: Do you remember what it was about?

Yuki: Well, it had a strong and vivid impact

Yuki: You were wearing happi coats and twisted headbands as you carried a portable shrine all night long.

Nanase Riku: 

Yaotome Gaku: All night!? That's some dedication.

Nanase Riku: You were completely influenced by Rabbimini weren’t you?!

Yuki: not only did you carry the shrine the entire night, you were also shouting "wasshoi" without a break.

Yaotome Gaku: Why?

Yuki: Who knows. You were the one shouting, Gaku-kun, not me

Yaotome Gaku: No that was me in the dream!?

Nanase Riku: Then let's decide on a reason now! What do you think, Yaotome-san!

Yaotome Gaku: Hmm. Not sure...

Yuki: That’s hilarious. you're seriously thinking about it

Nanase Riku: Maybe saying "wasshoi" increases your power!

Yaotome Gaku: I like that! And it also enhances our sense of unity, so let's go with that!

Nanase Riku: Yippee! 😆 It's decided then, Yuki-san!

Yuki: good for you

Yuki: Just as you two were saying, “let’s aim for the top of Mount Fuji!” I jolted awake. 

Yaotome Gaku: Ain’t that a big scale dream!

Nanase Riku: A festival at the top of Mount Fuji sounds amazing! 🪭✨

Yuki: I bet you’d still have high energy even after climbing

Yuki: I'll just wait down here

Nanase Riku: Then we have to make the festival lively enough for Yuki-san to see us 💪😤

Yaotome Gaku: I wonder if he’ll be able to? Maybe we should set off fireworks

Yuki: Real fireworks? or human fireworks like in rabbimini?

Yaotome Gaku: Please don't call it human fireworks lmao

Nanase Riku: Human fireworks…how about we play that in the background!

Nanase Riku: "Tarumono boys! ~MATSURI~" 🎆🎆🎆

Yaotome Gaku: The way you phrased it…

Yuki: Sounds good. Are they gonna be set off in sync with "wasshoi" too?

Nanase Riku: 

Nanase Riku: That’s gonna be real hard since they keep shouting wasshoi in the second half 😂✨ lol

Yuki: I really wanna see it now. I’ll go back to sleep and see the rest

Yaotome Gaku: You're going back to sleep!?

Yuki: i shouldn’t... let's listen to Matsuri for now

Yuki: It's a great song. Yamato-kun sounds very energetic

Nanase Riku: Yamato-san always looks happy while performing it live! He always holds a large fan, he’s so lively >u<🪭

Yuki: You must have a ton of fun performing it live too, Gaku-kun.

Yaotome Gaku: It's hella fun!

Yaotome Gaku: Riding a trolley and seeing fans' smiles up close makes it really easy to join in. You can feel a growing sense of unity and excitement alongside the audience.

Yuki: The "wasshoi" chant solves all problems

Nanase Riku: I have an idea! How about we sing it together next time? I wanna go to karaoke!

Yuki: Sounds fun. who will take which part?

Yaotome Gaku: I’m gonna take any part that’s not mine since it’s a special occasion!

Nanase Riku: Oh! Can I try your part, Yaotome-san? I want to say "appare...😏” It sounds fun 💪

Yaotome Gaku: Hell yeah! Looking forward to the Nanase Version of "appare"

Yuki: What about you, Gaku-kun. maybe nagi-kun's part?

Nanase Riku: I wanna hear it!!!!

Yaotome Gaku: I’ll put my heart and soul on the "Ladies and gentlemen!!" part! What about you, Yuki-san?

Yuki: I'll go with Yamato-kun’s part. I'll bring glasses and shout "now, it's a festival!!" though I might run out of energy right at the start

Yuki: I’m glad nobody took Mitsuki-kun’s part. I’m planning to give that to Momo

Nanase Riku: so you decided…! Tho I’m sure Momo-san will do that part very well! Especially the part where you laugh “Ha ha ha ha ha” real loud!

Nanase Riku: 

Yuki: 

Yaotome Gaku: Should we bring happi coats or headbands while singing?

Yuki: huh?

Yaotome Gaku: Oh, headbands might be better than happi coats after all

Yuki: are you really that into it?

Nanase Riku: I think it’s a great idea! Our office presidents performed a TRIGGER song the other day, they sang and even dressed up like them >:)👍

Yuki: Isn't Takanashi Production amazing?

Yaotome Gaku: Sorry, I've gotten too used to that kind of thing lmao

Yuki: Okay. let's carry a portable shrine while we’re at it

Nanase Riku: Huh!?

Yaotome Gaku: A portable shrine!?

Yuki: The NEXT Re:vale spirit has been ignited. We can't lose to Takanashi Production.

Nanase Riku: Our agency is amazing for setting Re:vale on fire ‼

Yaotome Gaku: How are we even gonna bring it to karaoke...? should we rent the place?

Yuki: I told you the NEXT Re:vale spirit is awake. we'll do it on the show

Yuki: Since it's the very last Rabbimini, let's gather all 16 of us and have a "Rabbimini Thank You Festival." what do you think?

Nanase Riku: Th-that's awesome...!

Yaotome Gaku: As expected of Re:vale...!

Yuki: If we're gonna do this then let's have a full-fledged festival. We gotta set up stalls, which ones do you want?

Nanase Riku: Ohhh!! I'm torn!! Maybe candy apples or baked potatoes...

Nanase Riku: Cotton candy!! I wanna make cotton candy!! i’m so excited to spin it around and make fluffy candy!

Yaotome Gaku: Then I'll make yakisoba! we did it in Rabbimini too. I'll cook up some delicious soba!

Nanase Riku: Yaotome-san cooking on a griddle, so cool...! ✨

Yaotome Gaku: Thanks. I think you'd look good making cotton candy

Yuki: I'll be in charge of the mask stall. Sitting sounds comfortable

Nanase Riku: Please make one of Kokona-chan too!

Yuki: Sure thing. I know a kid who’d be happy with it

Yaotome Gaku: Can you make Saddle man too? I know a few guys who’d like that!

Yuki: who...?

Nanase Riku: It's a character from a game Tamaki’s playing! 😳

Yuki: A game...? Is his face a saddle...?

Yaotome Gaku: You don't know "Seventh Riders"?

Yuki: I don't know... I wonder if they’re supposed to be riding something…

Nanase Riku: Yes! Saddle doesn’t wear anything on his head 😳 his face is half hidden though!

Yuki: he’s in a biker gang?

Yaotome Gaku: nuh-uh, It's not a bike it's a bicycle!

Yuki: he’s a pervert?

Yaotome Gaku: lmao

Yaotome Gaku: I'm explaining it poorly, but from an outsider's perspective he sure is a weird character lmao 

Nanase Riku: We have no other choice but to spread the word, Yaotome-san! 🔥

Yaotome Gaku: Yeah. Rokuya knows a lot about that sorta thing right? We should ask him how to spread propaganda

Yuki: that sounds terrifying... make sure the room is well-lit.

Yuki: But anyways, the Rabbimini Thank You Festival sounds like it'll be a blast. I'll talk to Momo about it and call you later

Nanase Riku: Yes!! Looking forward to it 🥳

Nanase Riku:

Yaotome Gaku: 

Yuki: 

[boobabietch]

hcs on ellie comforting a reader that’s on the chubbier side? my body dysmorphia is so bad today :/

Hcs of Ellie x Chubby!reader

Warnings: self image issues!!!!! Slight nsfw but nothing too explicit, mentions of oral sex and fingering.

A/N: Hii anon!!! I’m going to be honest with you I didn’t know how to approach your request at first so I hope you’re happy with the result! I’ve struggled with my self image a lot and I still do so I know how much it sucks when your mind tries to make you feel like you’re not it, but I think that a thought that helps me a little bit is that no matter what I look like there is always some horny teenager that would make TikTok edits of me if I was famous lol. Anyways English is not my first language so if you find any grammar or spelling mistakes please tell me so I can change them asap. If you like this you would help me a lot with a like, comment or reblog. Love Sof :)

Word count: 572

There is not one single day that you don’t wake up with ellie telling you how pretty you are and everyday she makes sure to let you know how cute you look and how hot you are in the outfit you’re wearing (even if it’s your dirtiest depression pajama she it’s still drooling at the mere sight of you)

I just want to take a moment to remind you that you are this woman whole world

I mean she chose you for a reason! You are her heaven on earth

Honestly I like to think that since she met you you’ve always been her muse, she would love to put your beauty into paper in every extra time she has.

I’m 100% that she has a whole sketchbook only for you

She is aware of how the world is and how beauty works, she knows how much time you spend comparing your body to others on social media or real life and she also knows how much this means to you and how sometimes you just don’t feel enough

When you feel down because of this, all I can picture is Ellie being the touchiest person on the planet

I mean she would respect if you need some time to yourself or if you felt a little uncomfortable with showing your body but Ellie fucking Williams is a kissing your insecurities away believer

Picture her softly caressing your thighs, taking her time tracing the stretch marks in them with her thumb or kissing the bulge of your belly while she whispers how pretty you are and how fucking lucky she felt to be able to love you with the intensity she does because it’s what you fucking deserve

If she finds you looking yourself in the mirror for a little too long she would come from behind wrapping her arms and just take the time to admire how breath taking you are, she knows sometimes you don’t feel that way but if you could just see yourself like she does, you would understand that feeling bad about you body is completely crazy

This woman is a cuddler. Period. Her arms around your hips while she presses kisses to your neck, muttering sweet nothings while she worships you, because she just wants you to feel loved <3

We all know that our girl is 24/7 the horniest mf in the room so if you’re comfortable with it she would gladly make you moan your pain away with her head in between your legs or her fingers buried in you

Imagine looking her in the eye while she is on top of you expressing all the love and admiration she feels for you turned into the heavenly pleasure she is making you feel

This woman is a love maker and I will die on that hill!

If you take her with you to buy clothes you would need to physically stop her from taking you there and then on the fitting room because holy fuck you are HOT

But back to earth for a second she doesn’t matter how you look, she loves you and she loves that you love her back, so she’s made her most important task to be the safe place you need every time your thoughts become a little too much

You make her feel loved with your mere presence so she just wants to return the favor <3

Requests are: Open!

Masterlist

[c-cw-f-saeko]

tell me your name (tesso and seonhee headcanons 2/3)

they moved out of the way so i could take a picture of mt. fuji -> loose recreation of this image 

hi !! i thought i’d finish this tesso and seonhee (separate and together) headcanon masterpost. it covers their individual backstory, how they met and how their relationship grew.

btw i made another headcanon masterpost about the liumang here 🤩 it wouldn't be a bad idea to read it before this one !

i warn that this is the ultimate yapping session LOL so it's long and very image heavy OOPS! there are more than 30 images, i wanted to add more but will stop there for now. check the bottom of the post for some straightforward headcanons (and a TLDR).

also, please pretend the entire timeline makes sense.....i won't beat myself over ageless characters not fitting 100% with documented events 😭 (imo seonhee is 34 and tesso is 37 currently) nvm my guess for seonhee but tesso is surely 37

also, the two fics i wrote heavily tie to this (don't mind the last one). i won't say you need to read them to understand, but i recommend reading them (BC I COOKED!) it'll be linked when needed.

- wang tielin

not completely accurate because he shouldn't have his scars but i'm too lazy to re-do the texture from scratch... sorry tielin 💔

birth name is wang tielin

born in japan. lived in the countryside with his uncle for the longest he could remember.

vowed to his childhood friend to live on the straight and narrow no matter what (hahaha)

a promise to keep was to become rich and share with their family when they grow up.

went to school just because, but had no plans nor dreams in particular. never stirred trouble.

was always kinda bland, but made an effort to become and dress "cooler" after coming to kamurocho (look at the fit please 😭 it was definitely a phase). this is part of the stuff tesso left behind (including his real name). would've preferred no one he knows today met him during that time.

zhao tried time and time again to make tesso show him pictures of him when he was younger but tesso claims to have none. zhao even got seonhee on the task and was ready to put down a good chunk of cash to make it happen. unfortunately for him, tesso was a nobody that truly came out of nowhere according to the geomijul (seonhee just lied 🤩 sorry tianyou).

-> long before the liumang

he came from some city in the country side where nothing really happens. his aunt and uncle took care of him and sent went to school. he was expected to take on his uncle’s restaurant since he was helping out from time to time and that’s what his uncle wanted anyway. 

how can i put it… as long he found a way to feed himself and have a roof over his head, he didn’t have a goal to attain (like a goal career or whatever). he had no aspirations as in “i guess i’ll live” 😍 

though, he had a close friend called liwei. they spent most of their time at school and outside together doing whatever. unlike tesso, liwei had big dreams of finally making it out go the “boring” countryside and establishing himself in a big city, becoming the wealthiest person of his family to provide for his parents. he had a passion about going to especially kamurocho because it was the complete opposite of their current lives. tesso's response to liwei was mostly -> “i support you!” he kinda admired liwei for having determined ambition. 

-> a bit before the liumang 

though, liwei ended up getting killed because a hit was ordered by a bunch of strangers on seemingly the wrong person. not a lot of clues were left behind, but tesso was adamant about it being a mistake since the two of them always swore on being on the straight and narrow (ironically).

so, tesso decided to leave his hometown in the countryside to find out what happened, who killed liwei and how the mix-up happened in the first place.

it lead him to many big cities (like kamurocho) though he navigated a bit clumsily with his words (talking a bit too carelessly about “i’m looking for such such that killed such and such, not knowing the type of place he was getting into), tesso ends up getting jumped by the local chinese mafia at least twice 😭 the clues he finds leads him into yokohama and bro gets jumped again 😭

all to figure out the true culprit was guys from yokohama's chinatown and going up front to them was the worst idea ever. instead, he joins the liumang (at first for refuge as outsider chinese people were vulnerable to trouble between seiryu/liumang and liumang/chinatown). then, in hopes of giving another meaning to his life and eventually seek justice for liwei’s murder.

-> in the liumang 

won't go too much in detail here, but tesso ends up being recruited personally by zhao as a liumang officer through a fight - given the exploit of him being able to scratch his jacket with his claws (and zhao scratched his face across his nose and cheeks with his sabre 😍)

- sakura, the number one hostess

long ago in kamurocho, seonhee used to be an hostess called sakura. remnants of the jingweon mafia rejected by mainland and local koreans (that later formed the geomijul) survived  the best they could with low-level information dealing. they used cabaret clubs to get info out of the local population. 

moving left and right with her mother, it was lucrative enough for her to be able to fend for the two of them — even if it was temporary, she would be doing it until they’d be able to find some sort of stability. 

eventually, the cabaret club was disbanded due to more prominent gangs taking over kamurocho, basically forcing the geomijul out of the city (to later end up yokohama).

in the move, the geomijul was very unstable; most members falling into despair as they were forced out of of home one more time.

seonhee was one of the few people to step up to rally the remaining people together. if they were wavering in the faith of surviving their predicament, the geomijul wouldn't even survive. she did everything she could to make sure fellow members wouldn't walk astray and find them a new home.

being one of people that proposed lodging the geomijul between the seiryu clan and the liumang and reprise their information dealing activities. it was through her sheer determination and in the success of securing the geomijul in yokohama that seonhee was made leader (despite being that young and a woman) jumping over all the oldheads.

fun fact, after leaving the cabaret club, she vowed to herself to never do that type of work ever again.

- meeting for the first time in kamurocho

bro came dressed like that to the luxury club 😭 first timer spotted!! fresh meat here!!!!!!

one promise he made to himself was to realize one of liwei’s dreams, no matter how futile it was. so, he gathered most of his money and decided to light it up for one night in kamurocho in his honour. he ended up going to the first cabaret club he laid eyes on - the one owned by the geomijul.

given the way he was dressed (lol) and the fact he had never been in the city before, seonhee (the number one hostess at the time) was tasked of  tending his table. she usually handled the most "suspicious" customers. 

that's what she thought at first, but past their initial talk, she really did find out he was just young random dude trying out the cabaret clubs for the first time. 

“is it your first time here?” “yeah, there isn’t stuff like this where i live” and so on. funny enough, he turned the conversation back on her a lot so she could ramble about the city and the type of work she did (life in the countryside is boring and uneventful anyway). it caused her to indirectly talk about the geomijul — tesso couldn’t know, her words still applied to the cabaret club dynamic. “the streets are competitive so we are working hard to stay on top!” and how teamwork was the most important thing at the end of the day, etc.

they had a good time talking and tesso was glad to find out city girls were so friendly. he had the impression that he’d be eaten alive, but he was doing ok so far. 

he touched briefly on the real reason he visited kamurocho (thought to himself it would defeat the purpose to not mention it). though, seonhee was smart to not make him linger on the subject by proposing to toast in his honor. tesso agreed, he was there to celebrate and she had made the right call. 

[sorry for the lack of continuity here but i can't being myself to write more atm. will evetually expand that part into a fic.]

- meeting for the second time in yokohama

tesso was always one of the officers zhao relied on the most. for example, he was leading the men sent by zhao after nanba through the city.

so, after mabuchi's overturned coup-d'etat and seonhee taking over the liumang, zhao named tesso as the most reliable man under him and could definitely provide great support in mending the geomijul and liumang together - zhao assured seonhee she could rely on tesso to bridge the two factions.

seonhee was quick to recognize tesso right away, thinking hard about where she had seen such a familiar face before - and the options were very little. it didn't take long for her to realize that it was the same guy she met at the cabaret club years ago. she thought about playing it cool and pretending they never met before, "he probably forgot anyway" and it's not like she looks exactly the same as she did. but she couldn't really shake off the possibility of him remembering. still, she plays it off in front of zhao

for as long as tesso remembers, the geomijul was a very secretive organization and most liumang didn't even know who the boss was and what they looked like. so he rolled with the assumption of having never met them before. so, of course, when he officially met seonhee for the first time, he didn't recognize her. at least at first 😭

- the underworld post mabuchi

because of fusion of the underworld, there was a lot of re-structuring to (such as combining certain cashflows, identifying businesses to assign new leaders to look after them, etc.) it was challenging especially after mabuchi basically left the liumang in shambles and with a lot of defecting members.

tesso helped out sorting out the mess with seonhee personally; it was easier to go through everything with someone that new the ordeal from top to bottom (thanks to zhao). the little time they had was dedicated to fixing the whole organization. at that time, seonhee relegated a lot of leading responsibilities to joongi while tesso did the same with his subordinates.

that's all it was; hours in a corner of the geomijul (usually in the middle of the night) sorting through hundred of files.

at first, it was awkward. tesso had never seen who led the geomijul before and the reality was very far from this expectations. starting at the fact he didn't even thought the geomijul had a woman at its head because of the rumours running the liumang. a detail zhao never bothered bringing up before they met.

zhao's funky and malleable nature was replaced by something more rigid, stern at times but always stood on business. it was different, but tesso went along with it. her style was definitely gonna bring the liumang and geomijul back on its feet.

still, he spoke to her with the same clumsiness as he did with zhao. distant in his words, just like a subordinate should be to its leader. she didn't mind, especially when she did most of the talking anyway.

that's how their routine was at the start: meet, sort documents, leave — there wasn't anything else more to it.

but, something didn't feel quite right.

the more he heard her talk, the more he was sure to have met her before. the words she used, her tone... it felt so familiar. and he had plenty of time to think about it. there was no doubt, she definitely was that girl from the cabaret club...

he kept it to himself and vowed to pretend he's mistaken. the last thing he could do was to bring it up first and be wrong. he would continue to behave the same as he ever did. given their circumstances, he could assume she had left her old life behind as well.

though, irony seeped from his pores, it was stronger than him. the coincidence was a bit humorous; the two of them meeting again with different names and under these unlikely circumstances. he kept his stun under wraps - or at least tried to.

from lingering gazes when she wasn't looking to the way she held herself, tesso recalled the selfless woman he met long ago in kamurocho. despite the heavy facade she always wore, she played it off well, how, in the midst of her words, always passed others before herself.

even with her bolder style, and it's not like she changed much: she was still as beautiful as ever and had that unwavering aura fit of a born leader.

perhaps, he had made his realization too obvious.

ever since zhao presented tesso to seonhee, she knew they had met before. thus, sat quietly with the intent of pretending she was someone else. however, tesso's demeanour changed out of the blue. he seemed a bit more awkward and careful in his words.

though, seonhee resigned on pretending. "tesso? is that how you call yourself these days?" shortly followed with his real name. she asks, chuckling a bit. perhaps, he could've picked something more subtle. he did abandon his birth name for this alias he wasn't really sure whom give it to him. but it doesn't really matter. it just meant was a completely different man now.

it was a bit ironic; they are able to have to shy laugh about it, the ice is starting to melt between them.

- the bridge between the geomijul and yokohama liumang

overall, the union between the geomijul and liumang was welcome by its members. given the situation they both were in - one left without a leader and the other very vulnerable to outside threats. it was worth leaving residual animosity behind and cooperate for the sake of keeping yokohama safe.

so, antagonists to seonhee taking over after zhao were far and between - mainly geomijul oldheads (like seo hancheol 😍 rip bozo) and the few remaining mabuchi enjoyers (like zheng because yes in this timeline bro didn’t get banished out of yokohama).

so, not only did tesso assist seonhee in the merge of the two groups, but he kinda became for the liumang what joongi is for the geomijul: the first commander under the leader and first rep for the liumang. so, in case of trouble or any reference needed from geomijul members, they could ask him if needed. tesso is known to get along with younger folks (canon) so it helps a lot!

overall, the underworld is structured like this:

- factions subordinates (tesso and the geomijul)

yeona calls tesso liumang oppa 😭 she's the one that got tesso to read manga

i feel like yeona would get along well with these two LOL she can get info on joongi from tesso since they work on another level (joongi hides his cringy side from his subordinates). also, she tends to tease seonhee a bit about not being single anymore 😭 in a little sister-big sister type of way. bc like it's not like they ever announced anything, but yeona just picks up on vibes like that 😭 there's banter between seonhee and her, but it's in good faith!! there are so little women in the geomijul, so yeona made sure to stick with

"seonhee unnie, that's your boyfriend isn't it?" she didn't say that, but her eyes kinda did 😭 yeona always knows when something is up about her big sister. this whole exchange happened while tesso was reading his notes LOL 😭

well kinda... because now that seonhee is taken, han-sama (joongi) can stop worrying about seonhee's relationship status.

- advisor to advisor (tesso and joongi)

"Tha- That's not possible! She couldn't have a boyfriend! Some random man from who-knows-where!?" (direct canon quote istg 😭)

"some random man from who-knows-where" that's literally what tesso was to joongi for awhile. 

of course, he knew tesso was one of the closest subordinates of zhao. but he wanted to dig out his history as much as he could before even asking zhao about it. surprise came when he didn’t find much out of the geomijul surveillance system — there was no way to know for sure how nor when he got in the city. however, joongi was adamant about not asking seonhee about it just yet. 

sure, tesso and seonhee never announced they were together (for a very long time). but joongi picked up the smallest changes of seonhee's demeanour and her mannerisms. she tried her best to conceal it, but nothing went past his eye. and it was very clear to him... seonhee was indeed dating that random man.

at first, it was veiled concern but joongi believed seonhee could do better. he thought seonhee could aim for someone more or at least just as good looking than him (im sorry LOL but exhibit A) and someone as refined as her and not so… contradictory in looks and personality (tesso looks rough with a lot of distinctive features but is rather simple). so, first impression wise, it was off to a rocky start. 

despite being the two most important members of the geomijul and liumang, joongi and tesso didn’t really get along. tesso thought joongi was arrogant and preferred dealing with his subordinates instead (like yeona with whom he was able to work well with). 

“don’t mind han-sama. he’ll get over it eventually…” tesso still has no clue what she means by that

the impression of tesso and joongi not getting along wasn't setting a good example for the fellow geomijul and liumang members. while tesso was unsure about the whole thing, joongi struggled moving on for a bit. even seonhee wasn't sure of what was going on between the two.

it took yeona telling on joongi's business back to seonhee for her to set the record straight. no one knows for sure what she has said, but their short discussion was followed by a shy apology from joongi, blaming the geomijul's eternal lack of trust of others for his behaviour and vowed to be as reliable as ever. actually, that was a move from seonhee where she wouldn't let a reason so petty cloud joongi and tesso's relationship further. it was better if tesso didn't know (lol).......

in joongi's opinion, there was too many red flags or dubious points about tesso and couldn’t figure out where nor when they even met (as seonhee never mentioned him before). so, everything came to him as a surprise. 

deep down, the hurt joongi felt was because seonhee didn’t tell him about it first when they shared pretty much everything. he took it as a sign of being unworthy of her trust. understanding it didn’t come from malice, joongi slowly opened up to tesso - it was iffy at first, there was still moments when he was a bit rude despite him. it took time, but joongi trusted seonhee in her decision and agreed that tesso wasn’t so bad after all (“albeit a bit goofy and doesn’t have a presentation as neat as I do”). all that mattered at the end of the day was seonhee’s wellbeing and she seems happy. bro got over himself…

- relationship ladder

(i'm not gonna extend myself too much on this but) the particular thing about them is how the closer they got, the place to work on business changed as well.

this is the fish shop next to eomoni's vow 😭

it started at the corner of the geomijul but surely became eomoni's vow (which is just my first fic LOL) - right at the time when the city was as calm as ever and the liumang and geomijul were combined together. members were more comfortable walking the streets so the need to remain miles of tunnels under the surface wasn't as needed.

still, they usually met in the middle of the night to work on stuff, but just end up eating and drinking the hours away. they got in the habit of playing mahjong against each-other singing karaoke on rare occasion (amongst other things).

next location is qing jin.

omg bro with the three piece suit 😭

it's upgrade from eomoni's vow since the top floor has a dress code 😍 you have to be put together to get in there so dresses and dress shirts are a must.

tesso debated for awhile before inviting her. it was a bit of a bold move, but he knew qing jin would be more of her taste (more spacious, luxurious and an entire different palate) AND it was still very private.

tesso actually picked the artwork (see the tomato picture below) and the room divider is from lin lin

they went a few times, and that was then tesso told seonhee about zhao's apartment complex and eventually advanced the idea to share a spot there. won't go over the details again LOL but you get the idea 🤩

knowing she'd be coming, tesso leaves her sweets 🥹 he's usually more busy on foot (you know assassination quests 🤩), but will drop by before she does if he has other stuff to do for the day.

seonhee definitely spends more time there since she doesn't have to be out carrying missions out on the streets and enjoys the privacy. it's seemingly normal when compared to the gloominess of the geomijul and restaurant row.

- trip to kyoto

this is basically the fic i wrote last year - tesso and seonhee go on a trip to kyoto. (PLEASE READ IT I COOKED!!! 😭) the fic in a nutshell:

i am kidding of course

despite being a higher ranked officer with more responsibilities, he’s always stuck at the “uhhhh taking some time off like that kinda feels unfair” but was bullied convinced by zhao to take some anyway. yokohama had been peaceful for awhile now and his subordinates could run well without him around for a few days.

so take the bullet train to osaka only to come back three days and four nights later. notably, they visit the nonomiya shrine (the shrine of love woooooooohooooo, no it is actually!), tesso dedicates her a poem and they stay in a machiya.

funny enough, i managed to make 3d models pretty close to the original drawings (iykyk) so it's fun!

pretty!!!!!!!!! 😭

- miscellaneous

funny thing they do -> rock paper scissors and they talk to each-other the native tongue of whoever wins for a day. seonhee tends to win often; she's just built like that.

during yua's first year at seiryo, tesso and seonhee attended the parent-student meeting together in place of her uncle (yua's legal guardian at the time). to meet sawa-sensei (yes she lived).

negative trait

tesso : can be too passive | seonhee : lacks humility

positive trait 

tesso: dependable | seonhee: diligent 

strength against the other

tesso: resistant to dominatrix energy | seonhee: resistant to tianyou

their weakness coming from the other

tesso: her cute mannerisms | seonhee: him calling her a specific petname (b......ba......omg i can't [dies of cringe])

serious complaint about the other

tesso: sacrificing health for the sake of fashion | seonhee: sleeps too little

unserious complaint about the other 

tesso: lacks stamina | seonhee: grandpa mannerisms at 37

random quirk

tesso: can fall asleep anywhere | seonhee: rarely laughs from her the pit of her stomach

karaoke? 

seonhee: enjoys anything from koda kumi | tesso: either tone deaf or decent, nobody knows… won’t do anything more than adlibs

hobby they got because of the other

tesso: skincare | seonhee: gardening

seonhee enjoys growing tomatoes, amongst other things. on his part, tesso grows nappa cabbages somewhere on a rooftop in restaurant row (mostly for kimchi ofc).

hobby they don’t share

tesso: shopping | seonhee: running

hobby they tried together for the first time

dancing (thank you yagami)

seonhee is pissed bc yagami made them do something really hard as a tryout. it's not easy, but it's simple at least so they managed!

thing they do when sick

tesso: eats lemons like oranges | seonhee: drinks tea with every single aromatic she can find (ginger, turmeric, cinnamon, peppercorns, etc.)

last thing they fought about

seonhee being frustrated at tesso’s reluctance to take over the liumang, leading her to talk ill of zhao’s ways of leadership. though, seonhee is too proud to apologize first and they didn’t talk to each other for two weeks. even zhao and saeko picked up on the fact they were kinda avoiding each other. 

one thing they struggled with

(especially tesso at the start) treat each-other on equal footing. he was kinda confused at how to behave, whether to be or to not be subservient, like.....

not that it was his second nature, but that's what he used to for the longest time. so, he didn't mind at all.

seonhee was a bit frustrated at the need to spell it out, but it was better that way. at least, everything was clear between them from that point on.

for zhao's costume party [i'll write about this later? maybe?]

(actually seonhee convinced tesso but) they did matching costumes of leon kennedy and ada wong from RE.

TL;DR: i think there are moments when seonhee shares more of herself to someone on equal footing, moments where she's more vulnerable and has room to step away from her idolized self.

i think there are moments when tesso has to put himself first, moments when he must learn to not overextend himself at his own expense.

despite the unlikely circumstances and complicated conditions, i think they would be able to do that together. tesso and seonhee are polar opposites on so many things and i think they can learn a lot from each-other.

i'll make another post with all different outfits they had soon because the volume of models i made 😭

next headcanon post is either going to be ichitesso on dondoko island or yua.....idk yet........

and yes in my book miku was on dondoko island LOL

and before you ask, yes i smoke crack! thank you for coming to my ted talk!

[mmc-veronica]

A≒A'≠A - A’ English Translation

Trigger warnings: Death and suicidal ideations

UM. so i finished this quicker than i thought i would. THERES A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENING IN THIS TRACK… i did translate/format half of this on my phone so sorry if its a bit wonky 😭 when i first listened to this i remember being kind of like “?????” lol… also i.. have not proofread this so sorry for any mistakes. anyways, translation under the cut!

Hello? Honey? It’s Etan~

Actually today I have a feeling that I can get home early today, so maybe we can see each other soon~...

Eh?! For real? Then let’s just meet up somewhere… by the way, where are you right now?

Oh, oh, then that would be closer to Tokyo Station.

I’ll be there in forty secon… no that might be impossible, but I’ll be finished with work in five minutes so wait for me somewhere, or you can just go ahead and meet me at my place, that might be a bit more convenient!

Alright! If you get there before me, feel free to make yourself comfortable! Then I’ll see you later, mwah!

It’s been a while since I’ve been this tired… Yo, yo! My Honey’s shoes are already here!

Honey~! Are you alright? Did you bump into anything? I’m home, I’m home, I’m home!

This situation where I come home and my honey’s right in front of me… Isn’t this a bit too good? It’s so priceless that my heart won’t stop racing! Hug~!

Hah… this is nice… coming home from work and being recharged with my Honey!

All my worries and stresses from today are replaced by happiness that I feel like I could redo this entire day and feel fine~

Huh? Of course, I’m fine! I seriously hurried over here after those five minutes, you know!

Could it be… Did my Honey make me something or do something for me?!

Are you serious? That’s seriously the best! By the way, what did you get for me? What are you going to make for me?!

This is so good~ Anything you make is good! Like, seriously, somehow everything tastes like my Honey!

It’s okay! There’s nothing to worry about! This handmade hamburger steak is a given, and once this frozen potato side dish was warmed up it’s Honey-flavored, right? Mmm so good…!

Thank you for the meal~ Thanks to your nice surprise I’m in such a good mood! I’m so satisfied that I’m filled with so much inspiration for ideas for a new song!

Right, right! Well, even once the release relay starts, we NSFW are the exciting last performers, so we’ll start putting in some serious effort soon~

Well, yeah, kind of. When it comes to the performance we haven’t thought of anything yet. The other members are still out and playing around. Even so, I think we still have to produce a happy song that breaks our boundaries, so the people who listen to it will be so happy that they want to start dancing!

That’s right, as the ambassador of this name I want to keep working hard.

Well that was the plan, since my happiness has reached its limit. But you see… Mm… There are some things I need to start cleaning up… before I properly become an adult…

Well before that, Honey over here! Come over here!

No, no! That can wait until later, It’ll become a hassle!

When it comes to cleaning up, I’ll properly do it all later, so…!

I caught you~ so from here on out its the start of my dessert time~

This is…! Hyper delicious sweets! Not even a ten star rating will cut it! Just one bite won’t do, so I’ll just have to take my time with having a taste~

I’m so refreshed! Then Honey, you were alright with… Yo yo?! What is this! Isn’t this a sight! My honey, wearing my shirt and sweatpants! Oh… this is too attractive…

Oh okay, okay, help yourself to any drinks! And why are you watching the news? That’s a bit bland!

I see, I understand the sentiment. Background noise just to keep your nerves at bay is always good. Especially if you’re alone.

Yeah, you’re right. Except I’m not sure what’s been changed specifically. The drinking and smoking age has been the same. Passports… you can get after ten years, right? Damn! I don’t know if it’s because of this country or not, but if someone goes out on a whim and decides to become an adult then that’s a bit of a problem~ Even with me, there’s a lot of stuff I need to do.

Hey, honey? You call me A, right? Ever since we started dating.

Yeah, true, but… For one, you don’t call me by my real name so it’s fine and I like you calling me A but…

I am A but this- If I said I was a fake A, what would you do?

Did I scare you? I guess we are similar~

I’m actually a twin. The one on the right is me and the one on the left is my older brother. The real A, without the dash.

The one that started the band and went by A, that wasn’t me. That was my brother. But…

He died.

A bit before we turned fifteen, he was crossing the street and a truck came… He… He… I’m fine. I’m fine now. I’m sure you can guess what happened. What I couldn’t say all this time, was this. Whenever I think about what happened, I can’t stop from panicking, so I've made sure to try not to think about it. My parents and doctors have all said to hurry up and forget about it, but not just the incident. They want me to try to forget about him as well. But, I can’t help myself. Especially recently. I have to keep him in my memory, or he’ll be scared right? I keep aging, but he’s alone, in the body of a kid. To think that he’ll be forgotten by everyone…

It’s kind of too late for this, but can you listen to me? About the real A that you don’t know.

I’ll make sure that I’ll remember properly, so if it’s you, it’ll be okay.

Yeah. Of course I know. No matter how stupid I am, I know you’ll wait for me. Up until now you’ve done that already. I won’t push myself. So first I want to talk about some of the easier stuff.

To outsiders, we were both little troublemakers. But, on the inside we were actually good! Basically, we would come up with ideas and run around messing with the adults! Well we were identical, right? So we would switch classrooms and see how long it would take for them to notice! Right?! But if no one notices, it takes the fun out of it, so in the end we would just tell them ourselves, especially him. I would say to him, “We were doing so well, so why did you tell them?!” and we would get into arguments, but, when we came up with our next prank, we would just make up without a word.

We went into middle school, and he suddenly said he wanted to join the light music club. I liked music too, but I never thought of doing it myself, so I was a bit surprised. I guess it was then… the crowds of people we hung out with changed bit by bit, but we still got along well, it was what it was. When he started being the singer for the band he was in with his buddies, it felt like he kept getting sucked in by the music. He was all like, “A musical star being born doesn’t sound that bad!” and I started watching his practice sessions with my friends. When we were third years, they had a farewell stage at the cultural festival, and of course he was super excited, but he got sick out of nowhere! I would say he got too excited and he got sick. Catching pneumonia and going to the hospital, coughing everywhere, he kept saying “I let down my bandmates and underclassmen,” I felt bad for him so I said, “Well, do you want me to stand in for you just this once? We look the same and we sound the same, so if I copy your singing we can just trick them like that!” Just like we did in the past.

Yeah. I sang in his place. I thought I did perfectly… Well yeah, in the end we were figured out. Well, I guess we revealed it, he did, that is. I’m not sure. That’s what I wanted to ask. Then, that day, I met with him on the way back from class, and… From that time, I really can’t remember much. No matter how hard I try, I can’t recall anything. When I came to, I was in the hospital. No, I wasn’t injured, but…

Yeah. That’s why I don’t like hospitals, even now. I blacked out without even realizing, and when I woke up, I was told that he had passed, and I couldn’t even attend his funeral. I was the one that invited him, and if I didn’t do that, then the incident wouldn’t have happened…

No, I’m fine! If I’m able to tell you this much, I can keep going. I want to tell you everything.

It was from there, where I started thinking, “I want to hurry up and die.” That was all I could even think. Even after getting discharged from the hospital, I was a mess, and I felt like even eating was meaningless. Then, I just started messing around here and there, and was surrounded by weird people. Yeah, the weirdest people I’ve met up until now, those are the current band members. That’s kind of the punchline here. Well, I’m not sure why, but they told me they wanted me to sing for them, but once I thought about it, I thought that it wouldn’t be that bad. And I could stand in his place… because the one who really wanted to sing was him, but he can’t anymore, so there’s only one thing that I can really do. But, I didn’t want to steal his spotlight, so I put ‘ at the end of my name. I’m A, but I’m also not. An imposter that is identical to A, A’. Well that’s obvious, isn’t it? We were seriously inseparable, where one of us was, the other was there also, and we would always go to each other for advice. If we were together, I thought we could do anything. No matter how old we get, nothing would change, is what I thought but… but then why… If that’s the case I should’ve died instead… I wonder, I don’t even know what really happened. I don’t even remember. Before the accident, we were just chatting, and according to the police, it turned out the truck had ran a red light, but… Even then, I blamed myself, that I was in the wrong… No way. There’s no way. If he was here right now, he would never blame me. That’s the kind of person he is. If… I was really in the wrong, he would probably just laugh and say, “Seriously, what are you doing? Rather than that…!” Huh? No… it’s nothing. Yeah. No matter how many people say we’re so similar, I can only think that he was more mature than me. We’re twins, but I can only think that he’s my older brother.

Maybe… Well, there’s not much I can do! He’s not here anymore, and I need to make something of myself. To make something of myself… that’s…

I know. Becoming A’… it wasn’t a mistake. I met you out of it too. Right now everyone’s waiting for me. The A with a ‘’s songs. From starting as an imposter…I couldn’t do it without reason.That’s why I said at the start, that it’s okay. I wonder if he’ll forgive me too, if I keep using the name A’ and continue making songs. Me? Yeah… I think he’d say “Go for it, as long as you’re having fun.” Well of course you’d get along with him! If you can get along with me, then you could with him. I guess it was all in my head… If I think about the type of person he is… then I have a feeling it was.

Haah… Yes!! One song finished~! No matter how I think about it, this is good! Now that’s said and done, the second song… I can leap this hurdle easily. I guess regaining motivation does help…

Why isn’t there a towel hanging here?!

Sorry, I guess I can’t reach you yet. I guess you knew that already though. But I hope you’re waiting excitedly for all the stories I’m going to tell you. I’ll have fun for the both of us. Even singing, and this dazzling world of adulthood.

[lestappeninchidents]

I've already been in a pitiful emotional state for days now, reading real nonsense about Charles' talent is putting me even more on edge. I do think I understand why he's so hard on himself, it's because everyone is waiting for him to come around and never let him make a mistake like he has to be a war machine.

I would love to see these people criticizing him, behind the wheel to see if they do better. Then to compare him to Max or Lewis as if they never made a mistake, is a real bullshit. Has everyone forgotten Max's debut?

He wanted to be on top all the time so badly in his early days, that it earned him the nickname crashstappen. It was a horrible nickname. What allowed Max to reach the top was the evolution of his mind as he got older and wiser. He was able to let go at certain levels.

Because Charles crashed during free practice and made a mistake at the French GP, so that's it, he's finished and he'll never become world champion? No, but seriously, you'd think Rome was built in a day. One day it's Charles, one day it's the team, one day it's Fred who doesn't make decisions fast enough, one day it's Carlos (even if I don’t have him in my heart, he's still a good punching bag for people it needs be say).

At some point, you have to give time to time and the right to make mistakes. Even if I love Max, I wish we could stop comparing them in this way. They didn't have the same education, nor the same background. Max arrived very young in F1, he had more years to perfect himself (this is not a bad criticism, it's a fact) and above all he has a team that lets him make mistakes because he is HUMAN. A diamond needs to be polished to become a jewel, that's exactly the case with Max. I’m proud of what Max became and how he succeeded to just let it go some things that allow to him the champion he’s today. And it will be the case of Charles, I’m sure. It drives me crazy to read that Charles doesn't have the mind. The mind of what??? LOL anyone in his place would have gone crazy with what happened at Ferrari. I would have just crying at each interview and insulting everyone.

Lewis is already having a hard time with what is happening at Mercedes, even though he is an immense champion. Can you imagine how he would have finished if he had been with a team like Ferrari? Charles has the best mental state, as does Pierre, who has been suffering for years. It's a miracle that he hasn't been spun around in an interview or on the radio. Then let's stop criticizing Vasseur, he's the only Ferrari director for a while who takes his balls to say stop. We don't fire everyone in one day to hire the first person who comes along.

I repeat, Rome was not built in a day, a concrete plan, a strategy is worked on over months. People are too bad with Charles, they can't find a fault, so we need someone who doesn't fit into the cliché of the virulent and aggressive pilot off the track. So clearly we are still in the policy that being humble and calm is being weak. I understand better now why people are rotten to the bone, this vision of thinking represents well the problems that affects F1 for years that only gets worse. We criticize the FIA, but these kind of "fans" contribute to this degradation.

[ah-death]

I've decided to make an OC for fallout 3. Her name is Edalynn.

Eda and Butch are menaces to society pt 1

Gob: Is that everything Eda?

Edalynn: Yep! Oh wait, do you want this?

*Eda takes out the mini nuke and smacks it on the table*

Gob, freaking the hell out: WHERE'D YA GET THAT!?

Edalynn:... Around?

Edalynn: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Butch: It's not a joke, I'm a legit snack!

Gob: I’m glad Charon feels safe enough to sleep around us. He looks peaceful.

Eda: *uncapping a black marker* And vulnerable.

Eda: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter and Gob will accidentally cut his poor little hands on your stupidity. Please take my word on this.

Nova: What did you do?

Edalynn: A MISTAKE

Edalynn: *Stubs her toe* FUCK!

Gob: Mind your language!

Edalynn: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Gob:

Butch: You really have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes Gob.

Edalynn: It's a little muggy out today.

Gob: Edalynn, if I go outside and all our mugs are on the lawn, I'm leavin' you.

Edalynn, sweating: *Sips Nuka-Quantum from a bowl*

Gob, tying up their riding brahmin: Can you get us a table love?

Edalynn: Sure thing!

*Seconds Later, Running Out of Rivet City with a table*

Edalynn: UNTIE...THE BRAHMIN!

*Edalynn and Butch are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Edalynn: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Butch, enthusiastically: Well that's encouraging!

Butch: You're right.

Edalynn: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Gob: Where are you going?

Edalynn: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there.

Butch: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Nova: Wasn't Eda with you?

Edalynn: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Edalynn: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Butch: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Charon: In that case, we're definitely lost.

Edalynn: Bye Gob! Bye Charon! Bye Fawkes! Bye Jericho! Bye Gob!

Butch: You said ‘bye Gob’ twice.

Edalynn: I like Gob.

Butch: When Emma gets older, I'll teach her about sports and stuff and you guys are in charge of her emotional crap. We agreed that's how we'd raise our kids.

Gob: Our kids? Butch, I'm married to Edalynn.

Butch: Sorry man, package deal.

Gob, looking to Eda:

Eda, shrugging: Can't get rid of him. I've tried.

Butch: Is Charon his real name?

Edalynn: He’s older than us.

Butch: That’s not what I asked.

Edalynn: That’s the information I have.

Butch: You're late. We said meet at sunset

Edalynn: I can still see the sun, you fucking midget

Nova: *Sneezes*

Edalynn: Oh, bless you.

Gob: *Sneezes*

Edalynn: Oh no Gob are you sick?! Here let me get you a blanket. Do you want some brahmin noodle soup?

Butch: *Sneezes*

Edalynn:

Oh my God, shut the fuck up.

Butch: Eda makes fun of me for my height.

Gob: Eda makes fun of everyone for their height.

Nova: you can't even be mad. She's 7ft tall.

Some Raider, trying to intimidate Charon: I have your little vault dweller!

Charon: Which one, the greaser or the one I actually care about?

Raider:…the tall one that doesn’t have any self preservation instincts???

Charon: Yeah, you don’t have her, she has you. Good luck with that.

Charon: um I have a joke to cheer you up.

Butch: You, a joke?

Charon, hesitant: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das not good.

Butch:

Charon: Butch?

Butch, screaming: CHARON JUST TOLD A JOKE!

Edalynn, somewhere millions of miles away: OH MY FUCKING GOD

*Butch killing raiders*

Edalynn: I can't believe that's the same guy who cried when he got jelly on his fancy pants

Amata: *nodding, impressed*

Edalynn, talking about Butch to Gob and Nova: He listens to The Adventures of Herbert Dashwood on the radio even though he owns all of the holotapes.

Edalynn: Pointing this out confuses and upsets him.

Edalynn: Butch, we tried things your way.

Butch: No we didn't.

Edalynn: I did. In my head. It didn't work.

Edalynn: Write "nothing is set in stone" on my grave as both a witty pun and a subtle warning that I will be back

Butch: Once again, Butch and Edalynn save the day.

Charon: You didn’t do anything, it was all Eda.

Butch: We’re a package deal. Everyone knows that.

[megslovesbooks]

WIP Wednesday

thanks @messyhairdiaz, @sibylsleaves, @spotsandsocks and @elvensorceress my beloveds!

I wont tag anyone because its officially Thursday here now.

I'm cheating this week because not only is it not Wednesday anymore here, this is also not a wip, I just posted it. But it was a wip this afternoon?? I dunno. lol!

Was feeling crummy today so decided to make Eddie feel even worse, have some Whumptober no. 13 'Hyperthermia' as the latest chapter in my odd little h/c collection.

read on ao3

The thing is, Eddie knows better.

He was a medic in the middle of the desert for Christ's sake. He’s been trained on what to watch for both by the army medical corp and the LAFD, heat stroke is no joke and the last thing he ever wants to do is put a patient or his teammates in danger because he’s been ignoring his own body. He’s more careful than that.

It's just–he hadn’t noticed, truly he hadn’t, or at least he’d just thought it was normal on the job overheating. Nothing he couldn’t solve with a bottle of water or two and a cool shower back at the station. Yes he’s been feeling overly warm today, its August in Los Angeles, its fucking boiling. And sure, his arms have been cramping a little, but he and Buck have also been hanging off this glass and steel building for nearly 45 minutes while they try to secure the window washer’s rig that had gone rogue and smashed into the plate glass windows of the boardroom mid meeting. Rope rescues always put a lot of strain on your arms and he’s not as young as he used to be (something Buck, an infuriating 5 years younger, is so quick to remind him). But now, as his vision blurs out for the second time in as many minutes, Eddie is starting to worry he might be in a little bit of trouble. Right on cue Buck glances over at him and raises an eyebrow.

“Hey.” He says, squinting against the glare of the mid-afternoon sun reflecting off the tinted glass that seems to stretch around them for miles. “You ok? You’re looking really flushed.”

So here’s where Eddie makes his first real mistake. Because he should probably just tell Buck he’s not feeling great, that his stomach has started to roil uncomfortably and he can feel his heart rate picking up. But they’re so close to being finished. The window washer with the broken arm has already been whisked away to the ambulance, the remaining board members trapped between the ruined scaffolding sticking halfway out of their office have been evacuated, and he and Buck only have three or four more points to tie off before the rest of the metal pipe and wooden slats of the rig can be safely removed. Ten minutes–tops–until he’s back on solid ground, or at least solid rooftop. So instead he just tries to make a reassuring face and says,

“I’m fine, just ready to be out of this sun.” He has to stop there and clamp down because his gut is clenching painfully and sour acid is creeping up the back of his throat. He focuses instead on the rig in front of him, trying to get his clumsy fingers to clip the final ropes in place, checking the soundness of the connection while Buck, who is still looking at him with a frown etching itself deeper and deeper between his eyebrows, radios up to tell Bobby they’re almost done.

Just a few more minutes, he tells himself, just a little longer–

“Eddie.” Buck says, and the sharp edge of his tone makes Eddie think maybe it's not the first time he’s said it. “Cap needs a verbal response.” Oh. Right.

“Copy.” He says, keying his radio, “Diaz here, good to go.” God is he ever.

It feels like it takes an age to get back to the top of the building, by the time the top ledge is in sight Eddie knows it's no longer a question of if he’s going to throw up, but when.

It's here he makes his second, and arguably biggest mistake. The top lip of the roof projects out eight or so inches so it takes a bit of effort to pull one’s body out and over the edge. He should wait for help, be sure the extra slack is out of his rope then let the others hoist him up onto steady ground. But he’s starting to feel a little frantic, he really doesn't want to vomit while he’s still hanging off the side of a building, so as soon as he can get hands on the lip of the roof he’s straining to push himself up, feet scrabbling for purchase against the stonework.

Maybe it's all the extra time he’s been putting into the gym lately, maybe it's the sick adrenaline making his heart beat so fast he can barely breath, maybe it's sheer desperation, but somehow he gets himself up on his hands and knees on the edge of the roof. It's wildly against protocol, and he can vaguely hear Bobby yelling at him to stay down, but he can’t do that. Nothing feels real and he can’t quite remember what’s so urgent now, but he knows he has to get up, has to–

He forces himself to his feet, his vision swimming, head spinning so badly he loses all sense of direction. His stomach lurches violently and he doubles over to be sick. Hands are reaching for him and he doesn’t know why, he doesn't want them touching him. He twists away, stumbling back a step and then–

Oddly the fall isn’t much more disorientating than standing still had been, his vision still a spinning blur, his insides lurching with the feeling of wrong wrong wrong, his ears are ringing so badly he can��t hear the cries of the voices around him, it won't be until much later that he even understands what’s happened. The fall is fine. It's the sudden stop at the end that nearly obliterates his consciousness for good. The line pulls taught so fast it takes any breath he has left, pain searing along the lines of his harness. He thinks maybe he swings into the side of the building, that maybe it's the impact that whites out his already spotty vision, but he can’t be sure. It's too much, pain and light and sound and heat, he can’t bear it. He thinks maybe he’s sick again, or maybe he just wishes he could be. For the first time in his life he wishes for unconsciousness but it refuses to come, leaving him trapped in a burning twilight he can’t seem to find his way through.

There are hands on him again, but these are familiar–safe–so he leans in, something like a sob wrenching itself out of him when he hears Buck’s shaky voice right beside his head.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you Eddie, you’re ok.”

It's too much to answer, but he tries to reach for Buck anyway, there’s a thrumming in his bones that tells him no matter what’s happening to him right now, Buck will see him through it.

“Just stay still ok? I’m gonna get us back up, you just let me do the work.”

He has no choice but to comply, going pliant against Buck’s body, his forehead pressed to the rough fabric of Buck’s uniformed shoulder. Hands work to anchor them together then slide up his shoulders and pull him closer still, one hand cradling the back of his head while the other locks around his aching ribs. Then they are moving again, or maybe not–it's hard to tell when he’s still so dizzy–but they must because the next thing he knows he’s on his back on the scorching concrete of the roof and god its so fucking hot. His blood must be boiling in his veins. He doesn't want to be here anymore.

“Hey hey hey.” Buck’s voice in his ear again, frightened. “Stay with me Eddie. Open your eyes.”

“Here.” Someone else says, and suddenly the relentless beat of the sun is blocked. That’s better, it's still bad, but it's better.

“Come on Eddie, open your eyes.”

He couldn’t do it for anyone else, but it's Buck asking, so he pries his eyelids up, blinking tears and dark spots away. He’s still dizzy, but it's better than it was. Buck is there, crouched by his head, face panicked.

“There you are.” Buck says, a shaky smile curving up the corners of his mouth. He shifts and presses a wet cloth to the back of Eddie’s neck and it feels better than anything has ever felt in the history of everything. Someone is cutting his shirt open, Hen he supposes, because Chim is busy sliding an iv into the back of his hand. Rodriguez stands above him, uniform shirt off and held over his head like a tent. Eddie thinks it might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for him. He tries to say so, but the sounds that tumble out of his mouth aren’t even close to words. Buck shoots Hen a frantic look but her attention is locked on the pressure cuff she’s got strapped around Eddie’s left arm.

“Pulse is 173.” Says Chim, and the medic in Eddie’s brain recoils. Too fast, it's too fast and he can’t– “180.” Chim corrects, then meets his eyes “Try to breathe ok Eddie? We’ve got you.”

“Temp is pushing 106.” Hen says, then swears, “His bp is tanking, we’ve got to get off this roof.”

Everything is going white around the edges and Eddie knows that it doesn't matter how much he wants to stay, he’s going under. The thought should scare him, but he’s so tired, feels so bad, that the idea of not feeling that anymore is welcome. He wishes he could reassure Buck though, knows it’s going to scare him. His mouth simply refuses to work, but he does manage to tip his head to the side, pressing his cheek into the curve of Buck’s wrist where he holds the cool cloth in place. Buck’s other hand comes up to cradle his jaw, fingers brushing sweat soaked hair off the side of his temple.

“I’m right here.” He says, so softly that Eddie isn’t sure if he actually hears it or just knows…knows in his deepest self that Buck is always, will always, be there to catch him. It's the thought he takes with him into oblivion.

[rainbowsandwhumperflies]

whumptober day three!

No. 3: “Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.” Journal | Solitary Confinement | “Make it stop.”

tws: stabbing mention, torture themes, captivity, creepy whumper, noncon bath mention (nonsexual) (it's all written in a journal so it's more whumpee thinking about the things than them happening in real time)

2100 words

August 16

Whumper doesn’t make mistakes, especially not mistakes as big as leaving random shit in my cell. Everything they do is deliberate, which means that leaving this here had to be for some purpose. And really, it doesn’t take Whumper’s level of intricate planning to know not to leave valuable objects in the cell of your prisoner.

Well. I guess ‘valuable’ is subjective. This journal doesn’t look like much. Maybe twenty bucks at most if they went to Target instead of Walmart. It’s August right now, if I’ve been counting correctly—kids are buying back-to-school supplies. I’ll bet Whumper saw this displayed when they walked in and bought it as some sort of joke. Except, if they were going to make fun of me for this, they would’ve made a big deal about this while they were here. They wouldn’t have left it in the corner for me to find later, but I have a hard time believing it was left here by mistake.

So.

I think it must be for the back-to-school months. It’s for kids. They don’t sell these for adults unless you scour the internet for small businesses, which I can’t picture Whumper doing. And they don’t sell them for kids unless they’re preparing for school.

Still. A shark notebook. With matching shark gel pens. In different shark colors.

Whumper has to be playing some kind of game with me.

I used to journal all the time. Not coherently. I wouldn’t really write very much. I would tape little things in the pages and just write what they were next to them. I was terrified that if I didn’t document everything, there would be nothing left of me when I died. And maybe I was right, because the police haven’t found me and Whumper still has me and really, what confirmation do I have that anyone’s actually looking?

Well, anyway. If anyone at my funeral misses me, they’ll be able to look through catalogs of every receipt I’ve ever gotten. And random concert tickets and pressed flowers. There’s probably some candy wrappers in there too, with little handwriting about where I was when I ate the candy. I didn’t really look through them after putting things in there, but thinking about it now, they probably look cool. I’d actually really like to look back through them.

Maybe this is the game Whumper is playing. I write in this notebook, and they read through, and find out my deepest desires and thoughts, and they try to bribe me for the information they want.

Maybe they think I’ll write the information down right here. I’m not quite that stupid, actually. Still, this is one of Whumper’s games and I know that and I’m interacting with the game anyway, which is stupid. Whumper, if you read this, please don’t try to bribe me with my old diaries. Bribe me with something cool. Like one of those hot tubs where you can control all the individual jets.

This is stupid. Everything I’m writing in here is stupid. I don’t know why I’m doing this.

Maybe it’s the weird human interaction thing. I had a friend who used to tell me that lots of journaling was from people who had no one to talk to, so they talked to the void instead. She thought everyone was lonely. I think she was lonely.

Anyway, Dear Diary, welcome to wherever we are. I don’t actually know the location. I guess we’ll just have to find out.

August 17

Dear Diary,

I’m gonna have to find a better way to open these. I am not a twelve year old girl. “Dear Diary” is awkward, and also a little bit too fun and whimsical of a way to open a journal entry about getting stabbed.

I was stabbed today. If you were wondering. Yay.

And I was waiting to see if Whumper brought this notebook up while we were talking ("talking". lol), and they didn’t. So that’s just going to get ignored, I guess.

Medic might be here soon. They’re not mean in the same way as Whumper. They don’t cause me extra pain on purpose, but they’ve had to stitch me up a couple times, and even if the pain isn’t extra, it’s still painful.

Once I had to get held down while they patched me up. It was within the first few days of me being here. I was stupid, and wouldn’t stay still, because I wasn’t sure if Medic was here to help or hurt or somewhere in between. Some raggedy guy had to hold me down, and I’ve never seen him since. Medic definitely works here of their own free will, but that other guy might’ve been another prisoner. I think I’d actually like to see him again, to talk to if nothing else. Do you know how nice it would be to just have a normal conversation with someone for one day?

And do you know how long it’s been since someone hugged me? I was stabbed today, making that very low on my list of priorities, but it’s still there.

Fuck me. All these fancy shark pens and no erasers or whiteout. Yeah, I’m screwed if Whumper reads this.

August 19

I’ve decided to give up on introductions, because “Dear Diary” isn’t going to fly and I don’t know what else to put.

Anyway, someone was screaming today. I haven’t seen Whumper. I wonder if that’s why. It’s not like I find joy in other people’s pain, but if some stranger is getting tortured and keeping Whumper away from me, then

Well, obviously that’s not a good thing! Still! Because no one deserves to get tortured! I have a moral compass!

But also Whumper terrifies me and if I can go a day without seeing them, well, that isn’t exactly a bad thing, I think.

I was thinking, yesterday, about Caretaker. That’s a name I definitely will not be putting a last name to and probably shouldn’t have ever written where Whumper can read. But she’s looking for me, I think. She must be. She has to know I wouldn’t just disappear off the face of the earth, right? Whumper is good at what they do, but so is Caretaker. If anyone can find me, she can. I’m not sure how, because I don’t even know where I am, but I think she’ll figure it out.

Besides, I’m journaling. That means even if I can’t remember, which happens sometimes, we’ll have a record of what happened!! Well, I’m not actually very good at keeping records. But we’ll know that I was stabbed two days ago. And as of right now while I’m writing this out, we’ll know that it luckily was not deep enough to need stitches.

August 22

Dear Diary,

Cringe culture sucks and “Dear Diary” is a fine way to start these out, I think. I need to stop overthinking this. Introductory greetings to a piece of paper are not my biggest problem right now.

I think the biggest problem is actually that Medic bathed me this morning. Which was weird. For multiple reasons. The biggest one being that I was way grosser than I thought. The bath water was disgusting.

No, actually, the biggest reason it was weird is because my hair is the softest it’s ever been in my entire life. And Medic didn’t want to make small talk and wouldn’t tell me what brand of shampoo we were using. If I ever get out of this place, I’ll never be able to recreate the gorgeous thing my hair is right now.

If I ever get out of this place, Caretaker will smack me in the face with this notebook for not keeping a better record. Okay.

So, yesterday Whumper tortured me. The day before that, Whumper tortured me. The day before that, well, I think we get the picture.

Okay. Maybe a useful piece of information. There’s a window in my cell, and I can see the moon out of it. And I can see some stars, and I recognize the Orion constellation. That has to be helpful somehow, right?

My bones are going to rot in this place. That wouldn’t be helpful even if I could tell someone. Maybe this is actually the purpose of the journal: to remind me that there isn’t a single person I can talk to besides myself.

August 23

Dear DIary,

Yeah, no, the purpose of the notebook is definitely so that Whumper could find things out by reading it. They read it right in front of me this morning. I haven’t felt that awkward since that time my mom read through my text conversations when I was sixteen. And my mom never laughed at me, just sat there uncomfortably. Whumper laughed at everything I wrote.

Word travels fast here, I guess. Whumper hit my arm, Medic came in to patch me up, and apparently Medic had also heard about what I’d written. I already knew Whumper was going to read it, but Medic feels like a violation of privacy. At least they told me the shampoo brand after knowing how badly I’d wanted it. But Medic always has to be pompous and uppity and told me how my journaling looked from a psychology perspective.

(As if they’re smart enough for that. Their job is to sew people up so that a criminal can continue pulling the threads loose. It seems counterproductive.)

Anyway, Medic says I use this as a crutch for escapism. They said I’d write more about what’s actually being done to me if it was a record. They said that the journal would keep me just sane enough for Whumper to keep messing with me, which, okay. I’m trying not to think about that too much, because when I think about it I think it might be working, and that wouldn’t be ideal. I am trying to keep myself completely sane, actually. And it’s working better than Medic thinks.

Medic doesn’t know what they’re talking about. They don’t even know the difference between saw sharks and saw fish.

August 25

Dear Diary,

I was wrong. I was so so so wrong, I knew I shouldn’t have written down things that I wanted, because shit.

Whumper hugged me today.

Whumper fucking. They sat down on the floor of my cell, and they just, like, waited until I stopped shaking and started kind of petting my hair?

They laughed at me, when they were reading that I wanted a hug. But then today they hugged me, and when I started crying they started comforting me. And of course, of course I wanted to walk away, but once again, I can’t remember the last time I was hugged!

Whumper is playing games. It’s not real, and I know that, but it kind of felt real? And shit, Caretaker would be so much better at this than me. Caretaker would not fold just for a fucking hug, but last time someone touched me gently was before I even came here. And Caretaker isn’t here.

And I am tired. Okay? I am tired of getting hit every day for the sake of information that really is not that important to me. And maybe if I gave it to Whumper, they’d let me go, right? We’d figure things out from there, if I just gave them the information.

September 3

Dear Diary,

I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up for. Whumper is very good at physical torture, and better at psychological games. I can feel myself slipping, and I can’t even do anything to stop myself. Caretaker would be able to hold out, I bet, but I’m glad they’re not here, because I wouldn’t want them to have to. But Whumper was talking to me today, and they said that having one of Leader’s best strategists was more important to Leader winning than keeping their secret a secret. Whumper says that if I give up the information, I’ll go free, which is more valuable than the information.

I don’t really believe them. The fact that they have to try to convince me like this says a lot more than anything coming out of their mouth. But I’m tired. Leader can’t blame me for that. If they wanted me to keep my mouth shut, they would’ve come sooner. And I’m not going to pretend that Whumper has no ulterior motives, but at least they’re up front about it. And Whumper will let me go if I give up, and I am tired of being hurt.

Whumper has started bathing me, rather than Medic. Medic only touches me when I am injured, and their touch is cold and impersonal and I know how to deal with it. Whumper is so so gentle while they massage my scalp with one hand and dig fingers into old wounds with the other. I don’t know how to keep up with this. I’m tired. I don’t want to keep being hurt.

[sunghoonssl4t]

1:39am on adelaide rd. - show me | p.sh.

mdni !!

genre : smut , established relationship.

pairing : park sunghoon x black female character

hii , so this is my first post lol. um this was written months ago & i didn’t proof read , so if there’s mistakes , sorry 😣. yeah so , i hope y’all like it :)

sunghoon & i both had the weekend off from work , so we had planned to stay up late to binge-watch the marvel movies in order. we were in the middle of an iron-man movie movie , when we , or should i say he , had realize how late it’d truly been.

“ y/n wtf look at the time , it’s 1:39 in the morning .. how the hell did we let time fly like that. ” he said with a chuckle , eyes wide with shock.

the truth was i had been letting time slip from my mind , but not because of the movies .. my mind had been combing through a conversation since earlier today between my best friend & i.

“ wait so he’s never given you head ? girl why ?? ”

“ yeah he hasn’t .. i’m not sure actually. i mean we’ve had sex but we’ve never done oral on one another. we just kinda go straight into it. i mean we obviously let things build up , you know .. foreplay & whatnot , but as far as oral , we’ve never indulged. ”

“ well have you asked why ? or tried to go down on him ? do you think he might not like the thought of doing that ? because that’s all i could think of as to why he hasn’t given you head & vise versa. y’all have been together for like 8 months y/n , that’s crazy .. ”

“ i have once , but he pulled me up real fast & said “ this isn’t about me , it’s for you “ or something along the lines. i mean , he’s fingered me .. but i think that’s about it. but I’ve also never brought it up to him , or even asked about it. ”

“ hmm , i would suggest trying to ask him about it & see where things go. ”

“ yeah you’re right. i might do it tonight & update you on what happens. but we’re about to have a movie night in a bit , so i’ll call you in the morning. ”

“…. princess , hello ? you okay ? ” i finally got out of my head & saw him looking over at me , slightly shaking me with a small concerned look spread across his face.

i had to think fast. “ yeah i’m okay , sorry those movie kinda fried my brain a bit. ” i quickly , but only partially lied.

“ yeah , i agree , i’m kinda worn out as well. let’s head to the room so you can get some rest. ” as he finished his sentence , he held out his hand to pull me up from the couch. we turned everything off in the living room & headed towards the bedroom. we weren’t too tired , but we needed to stretch & get off of the couch considering we had been there almost the entire day.

this’ll be the perfect opportunity to ask him ..

________________________________________

it had been about 20 minutes since we had got in bed & were comfortable , but we were both still mostly awake.

“ uh hoon .. can i ask you something ? ” my heart is literally beating out of my chest & i have no idea why .. he’s my boyfriend , nothing to be so worried about. right ?

he clicked his phone off & set it down to give me all of his attention. “ what’s up babe ? everything alright ? ”

“ yeah i’m fine , i just wanted to talk about something. ” i go to lie on my side , propping my head up on my hand with my elbow supporting me , almost mimicking his position.

“ soo i’ve been doing some thinking & wanted to kind of get this out of my head & off my chest almost. ” i took a breath .. i was unbelievably nervous for no known reason. “ we’ve been together for some time now hoon & i’ve noticed that we’ve never went down on each other .. & when i did try a few weeks ago , you just kinda pulled me back up & we like never talked about it again. so i wanted to know if you were uncomfortable with the idea of me giving you head ? or .. ”

he was just staring .. with an almost unnoticeable grin on his face. “ no , it doesn’t make me uncomfortable babe. ”

that’s it ?

“ okay good .. so um , does the thought of you giving me head make you uncomfortable ? ” i quietly asked .. i didn’t want to push him too much on the issue since the tension in the room was already very thick. not bad .. just , well felt , noticeable tension.

“ not at all princess. ” was all that escaped his lips with a straight face.

um okay .. weird. but i’ll just leave it alone for now.

“ oh okay .. well that was all i wanted to talk about. sorry if i made it weird. “ i looked in his eyes for any source of discomfort & saw none. i just received a low chuckle from him as he got back on his phone.

he’s laughing at this ? wow.

________________________________________

i just came back from the bathroom & noticed sunghoon sitting straight up , back against the headboard. hmm .. okay. i didn’t think much of it & got back into bed. as i’m getting comfortable , he sparks a question out of the blue.

“ y/n what’s this ? ” he says catching my attention & i notice in his hand is …… my vibrator. how the fuck did he find it , where did i last put it .. shit shit shit. what do i do ??!

i was truly at a loss for words , i could only manage a nervous laugh & a few “ uhhm’s. ”

“ there’s nothing to be nervous about , i just want to hear you tell me what it is baby. “ he says lowly , inching closer towards me while still holding this excruciating eye contact.

i finally take a deep breathe & let the two words leave my lips. “ my vibrator .. ” i said trying to sound confident about it , but the words coming out weak.

“hmm …. you use it a lot ? “ WHAT ? why would he ask me this.

“ uh i mean , only every now & then. not too much recently. ” my words coming out more steady than last. still holding this eye contact , he waits a few seconds before his next move.

“ show me. “ was all that came from him.

if he wasn’t my boyfriend , i’d probably be shaking in terror. but i’m shaking in my boots right about now.

“ .. sunghoon , what ? ” i whisper shouted toward him , my eyes probably almost bulging out of their sockets from the shock spread all across my face.

he then started smirking while handing me the vibrator looking me dead in my eyes , “ princess please don’t make me repeat myself. ” he said sternly , wrapping my fingers into a fist over the toy. “ do whatever you would do when you’re alone , pretend i’m not here & show me how you use it. ”

oh .. my .. goodness.

me & him have done some crazy things as far as sex , but this was on different level of new & crazy. i just kinda sat there looking forward , shock most likely still apparent all over.

“ well , you don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable y/n. i by all means didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or make- ” he start rambling , hugging me trying to make sure i’m okay. i quickly cut him off , putting his anxious feelings to rest.

“ no . no no no babe it’s okay. i promise , i was just a little shocked that’s all. ” i let out a breathy laugh looking him in the eyes , taking his hand in between the both of mine letting him know that everything is okay. “ this is a safe space. it’s our safe space , don’t ever be afraid of wanting to try something new , okay ? ” taking a deep breathe still holding eye contact with him making sure he knew i was 100% sincere & okay with this.

his body instantly relaxed , his facial expression softened while giving me a small warm smile. in a split second , it seemed like a different sunghoon came back because his whole demeanor changed. he lifted an eyebrow , lifting his chin toward the toy i had sent down in between us.

even though i wasn’t uncomfortable , i was still super nervous about all this. but , here goes nothing i guess.

“ pretend i’m not here & show me how you use it. ” his words continued to linger throughout my brain. but i mustered up the courage to play along & i did have to admit , the consent he was making sure i was getting & giving , the “ switch ” flipping in his head , really really turned me on.

so i continued to get comfortable in bed , laying down on my back about to do what i was asked. he was watching me diligently , taking note of every move i made. as i was taking my sweats off , being left in my sweatshirt & my underwear , i started to get back under the covers. he quickly stops me from getting all the way under , “ no pretty , on top of the cover. i told you i want you to show me , i need to see you. ” he stated with a stern , but not too harsh look on his face. “ now go on. ”

for some reason that turned me on even more , his being demanding of what he wants but not too dominating. i love it .. one of the many bedroom things i love about sunghoon , he also does this a lot outside of the bedroom too but those are stories for a different time.

i got on top of the cover , grabbing my phone in my left hand & the vibrator in my right. laying back down on my back , going into my private browser i sat there tapping my thumbs on the sides of my phone screen contemplating on what to look up.

i do always look up lesbian porn , i wonder what he’ll say if he sees it. oh well , fuck it we ball.

i search for some lesbian porn videos & start watching. still feeling nervous with sunghoon’s eyes glued to my frame. i don’t turn the vibrator on just yet , i let myself get warmed up first , letting the urge come over me slowly. it doesn’t take long for me to want the contact between my clit & vibrator since i was already so aroused.

“ lesbians .. nice. ” he says with a chuckle while smirking slightly. if i wasn’t so in my own cloud of lust right now , i would’ve had a smart remark for him immediately. the realization of sunghoon next to me quickly left my mind , as i was too focused on my own world of pleasure , chasing my orgasm at this point. while still watching the video , vision slightly out of focus, i turned the vibrator up one more speed sending me in almost a frenzy. making my body buck up & down , back arching , needing to cum as soon as possible.

i was painfully close , setting the phone down & turning the vibrator up once more , my body starting to shake with pleasure & need. in a few more seconds , i would’ve reached my high if it wasn’t for sunghoon taking the toy out of my possession , leaving me upset & confused. in my dazed state , i managed to open my eyes , wanting to see what he was doing. before i knew it , he was down in between my legs , taking place of where the vibrator was just seconds ago.

“.. what are you doing baby ? ” i spoke while looking down at him , extremely out of breathe from trying to reach my high for the past 10 minutes.

he kissed me where i’d wanted him the most , sending me over the edge. he looked up with the most innocent smile i’d ever seen from him. “ granting your wish y/n. you want to cum right ? ” not even a millisecond after he finished speaking , he began licking & sucking all over my pussy as if it were routine. i was in such a state of awe , i was a moaning mess. words not making any sense , just inaudible noises were all that was escaping from my lips.

he stopped , looking up at me again. “ i’m going to add a finger , is that okay ? ” i couldn’t even speak , so i began to nod. he then gave me a stern look before continuing , i quickly understood what he wanted from me. he loved to hear me when we were sexual , but my mind was everywhere i couldn’t even form any coherent words at the moment.

“ say it y/n. i need to hear you please. ” he said in the most beautiful , whiny tone. begging me , while reaching up to grab my face to make eye contact with him so i knew he was serious. god , you’re so perfect. he was the epitome of beauty , i could melt right here in this exact moment.

“ yes hoon , i want two please. please , right now. ” i was beginning to breathe heavy , i couldn’t take it anymore. i needed him touching me again. after granting his wish , he granted mine. starting with his middle finger , he slowly inserting the long digit in my pussy. i instantly fell apart right there , moaning like crazy , eyes quickly shutting , clenching myself around his finger while he pumped inside me quickly.

“ look at me so i can add another baby. ” i heard him , but didn’t really pay attention at first , he was driving me insane. i opened my eyes to the most picture perfect sight. his eyebrows furrowed together making the most exhausted , lust driven face ever. it was too much , i closed my eyes & covered my mouth to keep myself from almost screaming at this point. he spoke again , “ come on y/n. i love your pretty muffled noises , but i wanna hear your beautiful voice now. please tell me how you feel. ”he said in that amazing begging voice he always did when he was very aroused. it distracted me from my thoughts & i opened my eyes to see his beautiful smile. as he held the eye contact , i tried to let out any words i could.

“ fuck hoon please .. ” i managed to get out , extremely out of breathe. “ please please , i want to cum so bad. i need to. “ another deep breath , “ it feels so fucking good. ” i began to beg , clenching around his finger again needing the other. as he promised , he entered another. watching him insert his other finger made my face scrunch as my back arched & my moans became louder. it was perfect , it was all i wanted from him. he pumped in & out of me with what felt like all of his strength , taking me to the edge. i was clenching around him like crazy , helping myself reach my high , moaning & squirming around.

he was still looking at me , i could feel it. my eyes were closed from the overwhelming pleasure i was feeling. “ i know baby , i know. let go for me , yeah ? show me how good you feel. ” that was it for me , i felt myself practically collapse right there. he quickly took his other hand & placed a finger on my clit , rubbing what felt like endless circles all over.

my body contorted , continuously bucking & shaking from the pleasure he’d provided me with. my moans were even louder , if that were even possible as i finally reached my high. he quickly took his fingers out & soon after replaced them with his mouth , sucking every drop of cum i had to give , out of me. hands tangled in his hair while he watched me fall apart , all with a smile on his face. three simple words then escaped his mouth.

“ you’re so beautiful. ”

[md3artjournal]

Been trying to get back into watercolors.

Even though I don't really have watercolor paper. LOL Actually, I think I have a pad of watercolor paper, but I'm not sure where to dig around in my room for it. Or maybe it's in storage; not sure. But either way, I've always been too anxious to be anything less than stingy with art materials. It was a real problem in painting class, when everyone kept telling me that I don't mix enough of the paint colors that I need. But I just couldn't stand the idea of throwing it out at the end of class. And even though I've switched to alcohol markers, I'm still too nervous to use expensive paper like watercolor paper. When I'm too afraid to mess up with expensive supplies, I end up drawing nothing, for months and years. Though, it is strange that I have no problem using Copic markers and other artist markers, though on cheaper paper. Maybe it's because I almost always get my markers on sale at anime/comic book conventions. Never pay $8 for one Copic marker, when convention booths will usually have them for $5 each.

Been making some notes during these past few days, while experimenting with getting back into watercolor painting:

5/12/2023. Tried to make intentionally messy, to differentiate from marker coloring. I wanted this to be obviously watercolors, to make switching from my usual markers medium, worthwhile.

5/12/2023. Still practicing watercolors, so tried doing my final linework as only pencil. Sometimes I wonder if the softness of pencil fits better with watercolors. I still want to differentiate my watercolors from my marker/ink drawings. So I tried some wet-on-wet techniques and allowed a lot of messy imperfections.

5/14/2023. I know I should have stuck to my usual Copic markers, since I was short on time. But it’s been a long time since I’ve done referential drawing, and I wanted the pencil’s ability to erase mistakes. Also, I’ve recently been experimenting with trying watercolors again. Back before markers, I primarily used watercolors. (Then again, back then I also had sketchbook paper thick enough to handle watercolors, and that’s not really the case anymore.) I may be comfortable with alcohol markers and ink pens now, but I keep wondering if something good might come of me returning to watercolor painting. Maybe it would look nice to color more organically, and allow some loose messiness, the way watercolors are often afforded. Maybe that type of style could really work for me. So I’m trying watercolors again. Today reminded me how much I love drybrush, when I use brush pens—even though I haven’t gotten the hang of setting up that technique with a paintbrush yet. So I might practice more drybrush with watercolor paintbrushes.

5/18/2023. My last watercolor drawing reminded me that I could use drybrush with watercolors, to mimic the feeling of using brushpens, which I love. So I did a lot of hatchlines, like I would do with my usual pen/ink drawings. I actually wanted to do more sharp detail, but needing lighter colors for those details necessitated more water, which made the brush tip less tapered, so those smaller details I wanted, ended up broader and messier. But didn't I recently get back into watercolors, wanting to differentiate them from my pen/ink drawings? And I determined that allowing watercolors to be messy and looser (since people usually afford/expect that from watercolors) would be how I would differentiate my watercolors from my marker drawings? Then again, I had been wanting for a long time to find a way to break out of my hyperfocus on one medium at a time. If I could switch to dip pen in the middle of a watercolor painting, maybe that will bring me closer to mixing color pencils on top of marker drawings, or mixing pastels on top of marker ink, and just mixing more mediums. I want to be able to use the mediums to achieve the effects I need in each case, but I keep unconsciously locking myself in to only one medium at a time. But if dip pens make my watercolors too precise and erases that lovely, organic, messy looseness, then what's the point of me going back to watercolors from alcohol markers? Hmmm….We'll see what happens.

[starrybobatea]

megarox as taylor swift lyrics

because it’s my duty as a taylor swift fan to link whatever couple i obsess over with my favorite singer’s lyrics

if you don’t like tswift feel free to ignore tho

I find it dizzying, they’re bringing up my history but you weren’t even listening - Lavender Haze

So you were never a saint and I’ve loved in shades of wrong, we learn to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts // You’re my Achilles heel, this is the golden age of something good and right and real - State of Grace

You’ve ruined my life by not being mine

And I’m so furious at you for making me feel this way

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine, I feel like I might sink and drown and die

You make me so happy it turns back to sad, there’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have, you are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

- Gorgeous

You say that we’ll just screw it up in these trying times, we’re not trying

Said “I’m fine” but it wasn’t true, I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you

“I love you”, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard? He looks up grinning like a devil

- Cruel Summer

And when we had that fight out in the rain, you ran after me and called my name, I never want to see you walk away - ME! (lbh this THE megarox duet)

I once was poison ivy, but now I’m your daisy

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace just to touch your face, if you walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay

- Don’t Blame Me

Cursed the space that I needed; I trace the evidence, make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding

You were the one that I loved, don’t need another metaphor, it’s simple enough

Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief in the good, in the world, you once believed in me, and I felt you and I held you for a while, bet I could still melt your world, argumentative antithetical dream girl

- Hits Different

Tell me that it’s not my fault, tell me that I’m all you want, even when I break your heart

Sorry that I hurt you; I don’t wanna do, I don’t wanna do this to you; I don’t wanna lose, I don’t wanna lose this with you

- Afterglow

Flashback to my mistakes, my rebounds, my earthquakes, even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me - Dress

And it’s fine to fake it til you make it til you do, til it’s true (lol)

But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet, now I’m all for you Janet, can this be a real thing, can it?

Are we falling like snow at the beach? Weird but fuckin beautiful

- Snow On The Beach

This is the first time I’ve felt the need to confess, and I swear, I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian cause I care

You knew that I’m a mastermind, and now you’re mine, yeah all you did was smile, cause I’m a mastermind

- Mastermind

I want you for worse or for better, I would wait forever and ever; broke your heart? I’ll put it back together, I would wait forever and ever - How You Get The Girl

“He’s not all bad like his reputation”, and I can’t hear one single word they say

And I watch you fly around the world, and I hope you don’t save some other girl

I watch Superman fly away, you’ve got a busy day today, go save the world, I’ll be around forever and ever

- Superman

Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me, cause every time you smile, I smile, and everytime you shine, I’ll shine for you - Jump Then Fall

There you’ll stand, ten feet tall, I will say “I knew it all along”

There you’ll stand, next to me, all I want, the rest is history, your eyes wider than distance, this life is sweeter than fiction

- Sweeter Than Fiction

I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden like daylight

I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you, I don’t wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night, but now I see daylight, I only see daylight

- Daylight