#I’m just thinking about death

[ceruleansol]

warning: descriptions of impalement

And what if Niph pulled Daiven off of that branch? What if, at that moment, Daiven was consciously aware in his painful agony that something grabbed him?

And it started pulling him. The branch lodged between his ribs dragged back through his insides inch by slow inch. It's worse than when he fell. Did he deserve this?

The wet gasp of air he took once free caught in his throat as he sputtered, wallowing up blood. His body was light until it wasn't, the ground pressing up against his feet an unwelcomed sensation. Daiven stood.

A dead man walked into that oceanic kingdom. Somehow, he found the grit to meander through the entryway. If there was a pathway to hell, he thought this might just be it. That was until he heard the scuffle of bodies and fists.

"Pathetic. Does your daddy know you sneak around with men?"

He heard the voices.

"It's not what you think—"

The sound of fists hitting flesh reached his ears before the sight of them. And when his blurred vision took in the three young guys surrounding another, a rush of heat filled his chest. All he could see was red.

The next moment, the three laid unconscious on the floor, and the one spoke to him.

"Ah, thank you—! Hey—hey! You're losing blood!"

The weakest scoff passed Daiven's lips. "It's not lost, I know exactly where it is—"

His world went black. Finally.

[ohwhatagloomyshow]

I know & remember very little about RTD as a person but I do remember he left DW to care for his dying partner and that his partner has since died. And the way that this is so evident in his approach to 14 and 15, it’s phenomenal.

2005 Davies was interested in high drama, big stakes, the roughest heartbreak that could exist. And now he’s lived it, and it feels like his approach to the show has shifted as he has shifted!

14 getting to rest, Wilf alive off-screen, Donna’s memories returned - 15 leaving his trauma and his heartbreak and his pain with 14 in order to begin again fresh and new and ALIVE…it is all so meaningful to me!!!

[flakops]

warrior cats hot takes be upon ye!

[stinkythehutt]

also. something about palpatine being so adept at seeing into the future that all of his successes feel completely joyless by the time he achieves them because he’s just going through the motions… how fucked up and nihilistic and brutal that would make you…

[biceratops7]

I just-

the way that queerness actually is shown fairly historically accurate in the show but not to the point where the lgbt community feels like 1-dimensional victims instead of people. The world is still the same as ours, Homophobia is there, it’s just… quiet. It’s not constant aggressive action, or violence permeating every moment of their lives… it’s the background noise.

It’s in the bullying Stede endures for not performing the ideal masculine, but it’s also the simple expectation and eventually enforcement that he’ll marry a woman. It’s in “anything goes at sea” and the calm, almost practiced defensiveness that prompted such a statement. The small confirmation that Hornigold would lose his mind at Ed having breakfast at a table every morning with Stede.

It’s not just seen in queer sorrow but community as well, even joy. How Lucius looks after Jim, Stede, and Ed once their queerness is known to him. How Ed kisses Stede in a quiet place away from expected public, the refusal to discuss Blackbeard further when the truth of being “lovely” to another man garners unsavory looks. In the best circumstances, protecting one another in a world that isn’t built for us is like breathing.

It even comes from people with no ill intentions. Mary doesn’t mean anything by “what’s her name?” but it tells us something anyway, about the world these characters inhabit. About which ones can step comfortably through it, and which ones must think carefully before even revealing they lack such luxury. The quiet understanding in tossing a stone in that perfect path by saying “his name is Ed.” It means something that she reacts in surprise, pleasant surprise, but surprise none the less.

It’s not a show without homophobia, but it’s not a show about it either. It manifests in the narrative the same way it does for most of us day to day: the white noise of heteronormativity.

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: dismemberment / ]

I think a lot about how Leo’s rescue could have easily ended in him losing a leg as the portal snaps shut on the Krang still clutching the limb, or, alternatively, only having Leo’s right arm make it out, still held dearly in his brother’s hand as the rest of Leo is left behind. (The latter hits even harder, as it directly parallels his future self in the worst of ways.)

I think a lot about how so many things could have gone wrong during the course of the movie with even a little bit of a change, but it really is harrowing how much of a coin-flip the entirety of the Prison Dimension rescue was.

[applestorms]

thinking about how near refers to light at the end of the series— not really as light yagami, not even really as kira, and not quite as L, but rather an amalgamation of titles: L-KIRA, a twisted mix of two personas, masks on top of masks. no longer a person but a series of letters, a filtered voice through a screen. a man who has built his entire life in the space between lies, who cannot let himself stop for a second without the weight of his own guilt, his sins, crushing him. regrets repressed because this is the only way it could ever be, it has to be worth it, it has to, it has to, because you can’t even bring yourself to consider what it all means otherwise.

i am a firm believer that light yagami, the son, the student, the average human person, dies at the same time that L does. at least at the beginning of the series he has some semblance of normalcy to hold himself to, the Serious Student persona that keeps him walking to and from school and talking to people and eating dinner with his family at home. how many times do we really see him going outside, post-L death? how often do we see him outside of some L-based police HQ, talking to people he isn’t trying to manipulate? really, it’s no wonder he falls so far, alienated as he is from the rest of humanity. when was the last time he breathed long enough to remember what the sky looks like? hugged his mom, laughed with his sister? did he ever visit his father’s grave? does he remember what the breeze smells like? was he ever really happy? did he deny himself his only chance?

at least in the case of L and near the isolation feels intentional, a preferable choice, carefully and logically considered for all the pros and cons. light never asked for the position he fell into, that fell upon him, that he created for himself. he denies the death note being a curse, but it’s not like he could ever admit it if it was.

light’s story arc in death note really feels like a tragedy to me, specifically in the sense that he never really gets the chance to change. on a plot level this is true, much of the second half of the story post-L death is light utilizing the exact same strategies as before (taking away his ownership of the DN to Strategize, romancing a woman he doesn’t care for to use her, fighting a snarky troll of a super genius hiding behind a letter whose real name & face he cannot find), but it’s true on an emotional level too. light never really gets to grow up, he never gets the chance to truly question his ideals or goals without the world he’s built by himself crashing down around him.

i keep thinking back to the significance of matsuda asking him about his dad, how he could drag him to his death for the sake of all of this. light’s response, so truthful in its desperation, really sums it all up: he died for a reason. KIRA has to win, or his dad died for nothing. he cannot face the idea that he caused his own father’s death, so KIRA must be justice. there is no other alternative. KIRA is god, or light yagami killed his own father for a fairytale.

really, it’s so fitting that his name uses the kanji for moon. moonlight— not originating from the moon itself but a reflection, of something brighter, greater, more powerful than he could ever be. light dies the same way as every other criminal he passed his judgement upon, on his knees and desperate, pathetic, begging for life even as he knows he is doomed to the same fate of nothingness that he granted to everybody else. godhood denied. he said it himself, that he could never be anything more than a human, but somewhere in the fog he lost track of the person he once was. and it’s near’s cruelest observation that stands out the most to me in that final scene— that he never really had to be this. he could’ve stopped at any point, felt his guilt, paid his regrets, and moved on with his humanity still intact. light has spent far too long repressing and denying to ever consider that an option anymore— but there was still room for sympathy for the 17 year old kid who killed without thinking, long before he built up such a dedicated palace of lies to justify his actions and hide away his guilt.

L-KIRA dies on the floor of a dirty, abandoned building, surrounded by the people he spent years manipulating and lying to and betraying. light yagami dies in a helicopter, locked and chained to his only closest equal, holding a notebook that he would use to sound the death knell of his own fate and wearing his father’s gifted watch.

[jerreeeeeee]

i don’t know if i’m ever gonna write the fic but i’ve been thinking abt like. the eternal stockade. the implications. lup, a lich who was trapped in a dark featureless cell for a decade completely isolated with nothing to keep her sanity but her own mind. she has to put people in the eternal stockade. how many liches does she see herself in. how many liches started out just like her. how many liches are truly too far gone. and the only liches we ever see other than her and barry are edward and lydia. they’re certainly evil, but mad? they seem pretty sane. they’re not, like, tattered echoes of souls, they’re definitely still people. even as much of a grudge as lup surely has against them, wouldn’t they remind her incredibly strongly of herself? do they deserve to be trapped just like she was? for eternity? isn’t eternity what turned john to existential despair in the first place?

[wordsofawanderingsoul]

Do you ever think about the fact that the last conversation Maya ever had with her sister was over the phone and she accidentally recorded it and that’s all she has left of Mia.

Do you ever think about Maya keeping that recording, transferring it to a hard drive or something and occasionally listening to it to feel close to her because she probably doesn’t get to talk to her very much through other spirit mediums?

I think about it a lot.

[crimson-nail]

(florida man voice) yoink!

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

I think something that often gets overlooked about the Lonely is that it isn’t just the fear of being rejected, abandoned, and unloved.

It is that, but it’s also the heavy sense of dread that settles in your bones when you realize that whatever danger you’re in, you have to deal with it on your own. It’s the realization that no one is around to hear you scream and that no one is coming to save you. It’s the feeling of calling emergency services (911, 119, etc.) and asking the operator when help is coming, only to be told that no one is coming, because they’re all tied up on other calls right now, so it may be another hour or so before anyone gets to you. It’s the visceral terror you feel when you finally realize that the help you need is never going to come, or if it does, they won’t be there until it’s already too late for you. It’s realizing that you’ll never see your loved ones again, and wondering if anyone will ever find your body, if anyone is going to care that you’re gone, if anyone is ever going to find out what happened to you, if anyone is even going to realize that you’re dead.

[ciderjacks]

Wip

[dnbrainrot]

Do you guys think Light is also autistic but has both consciously and unconsciously masked it so hard throughout his life and he doesn’t even know/can’t tell

[kingofanemptyworld]

the other thing I really love about grimmichi as a ship is that you cannot separate Grimmjow from Ichigo no matter who you actually like him with romantically (if anyone). it’d be one thing if he came back in TYBW and either snubbed Ichigo or had moved on but no he is very much still gunning for a rematch. it’s been like 2 years. maybe not a lot of time for a hollow but I mean. c’mon. I’ll never be over Grimmjow trying to butt into the call with Urahara because he heard Ichigo’s voice on the other end. man was desperate for attention you can’t convince me otherwise

[ghost-bxrd]

later that night

i held an atlas in my lap

ran my fingers across the whole world

and whispered

where does it hurt?

it answered

everywhere

everywhere

everywhere

(Warsan Shire)

Not any particular Batfam character but I thought it was a sad quote.

experimenting with colors and techniques is really fun, thank you for the quote 💚💚💚

[sherbetyy]

what if when duck said he “always knew he deserved to be dead” he also (maybe unknowingly) meant he excepts how their world works. like we all know he loves living in that hell hole of a home and love love loves when things go orderly and as planned. and he’s ALWAYS fucking dying so he’s sorta like . “hey. if this world wants to kill me sometimes that’s okay.” duck will just randomly out of nowhere says things like he knows too much about whats going on, but he just doesn’t care bc he believes it’s normal. and if he has any awareness of this thing specifically , i don’t think he minds as long as he gets to come back. because that’s always what happens and he’s okay with that. maybe he just thinks that that place knows what’s best for him, so he deserves what he gets. even if it means making him hurt from time to time