#I’m just telling him to stfu half the time he’s on screen

[alexisntedgy]

I constantly half-pretend to have beef with thomas thorne in the same way he half-pretends to have beef with lord byron

[sevenpoyo]

school headcanons for because i only got 3 more weeks

margo’s is so long even tho she got like 2 minutes of screen time bc i love her so much and she’s my gf

Margo Kess, 1610Miles, 42Miles, Gwen Stacy, Pavitr Prabhakar

margo kess / spiderbyte

ain’t shorty on zoom in the movie?

my girl dont attend class, she once shut down the entire blocks power so she would have an excuse to not be in class

eats in class all class everyday, only shares with you

takes really good notes and never studies them

like???? ma’am??? share???

all her electives are programming related and she pretends to busy while playing centipede all day

sends you 50 links to stuff you might like while ur in math

she got papers that let her opt out of gym

no matter how much you beg ur gonna be alone in gym and she doesn’t feel bad about it

popular with no friends type

like everyday 50 ppl stop you both and say hi

she only knows like 5 of their names she can’t stand half of them niggas

empty ass backpack like she got one notebook and one binder

all a’s and b’s like bitch how

her memory is absolutely ass but she can remember every story you told her or stuff that happened when y’all hang out

don’t ask her what she did in her class

don’t ask her if her class also has a history test

she don’t know

she don’t care

but she do know that when you were 8 your cousin burned ur thigh while y’all were playing iron vs knife fight

(u were dumb as hell for picking knife everyone knows iron always wins)

i looked it up on her word everybody uses those virtual avatars

she’ll shit on your class choices so damn hard

she just likes making fun of your choices fr

like half of ur conversation go;

damn i’m tired

u was up doing stupid shit last night you don’t get to complain

stfu that’s why ur a bitmoji

that’s why ur granny beat ur ass for something your brother did when you were 9

i hate telling u shit

then stop telling me shit

(i have no clue how accurate this is to her character but i need to write about her i’m in love but damn it’s long)

1610 miles / spider-man 2 lmao

book bag full locker full but never has a pencil

writes notes assignments and homework in paint pen ink don’t ask this nigga for notes

(he gets nigga treatment but not my queen margo bc i got favorites)

he miss mad classes but somehow still solid attendance record???

somehow always present in the record he miss 40 days and get caught on like 6 of them

unless his mom make breakfast and lunch on her day off for him he eating the most random shit from the bodega closest to visions

like what do you mean you got a cosmic brownie and a cold chopped cheese from last night ? it’s literally 7 in the morning no i don’t want none

makes you hype him up every time he slap boxes people and he’s so ass at it

he be ashy with no lotion atleast 5 times every month it’s embarrassing

he calls visions his white people school to his parents and his friends

once he said it to gwen and they sat in literal complete silence for like 10 minutes

prolly took music theory because he thought it would be easy and switched out of that shit so fast

i’d be so mean to him for enjoying physics

like this nigga trying to make something of him self

lil einstein ass nigga

he understands color theory but can’t explain it

12 half full sketchbooks but at school he literally draw on computer paper he don’t let the sketch book leave his bag

i know he’s ass at watercolor, he always spills shit, the colors always end up brown

try’s to be interested in your class choices bc he wants to know stuff he can talk about with you

when you first meet he can’t take meaner jokes bc he thinks that you mean them

but one day he’s gets comfortable, and brutal

no one in your life is safe when he looses a video game

except your mom

rio taught him better than that

42 miles / the prowler

comes to school with no school related supplies in his bag unless you count art stuff

finds a pencil on his way to class

has a change of clothes, rat tail comb, 3 bottles of water, a camera, a flashlight, lotion and cocoa butter.

like bro ur going to Ap Art not a camping trip

once he pulled out a griddle and and pancake mix and y’all started making pancakes in class

forgets his metro pass every day and gets so pissed ab it

runs into people in the hallway bc he’s never paying attention

idk if he goes to visions but if he does he calls it his white people school with his full chest to anybody even if they’re white

he be leaving halfway through the day all the time like bro you miss algebra 2 every damn day

uncle arron always talking him out of school with some bullshit reason

bro’s had his tonsils out 8 times on the school’s records

He will get ur parents to put his uncle on ur pickup list and you will be out of there with him

he will YELL if someone step on his shoes no matter what the situation like the school could be on fire and he fighting in the burning building

also his uniform is so pristine

his pants stiff

that button down is bleached ironed pressed and allat

this mfer is an online shopping addict u just know he be on amazon in class

will offer you the weirdest food combos like no i don’t want to put tajin mangoes on my beef patty i’m sick of you nigga

not school related but he’s super good with kids (both miles fr) but he’s the #1 little cousin defender and apologists

he ride for them always one of ur little cousins could sucker punch u and he be like

‘they just want u to play with them’

he takes a preforming arts class for fun prolly

loves sports but doesn’t play one understands the stats well and would help if you played one

wakes up at the asscrack of dawn on weekends

SICK ASS COSTUME FOR HOLLOWEEN IK THIS NIGGA LOVE HOLLOWEEN

plans costumes for school spirit weeks but always checks to seen if he’s gonna be the only one wearing a costume for it

never eats lunch unless his mom makes it he be hungry all day and be complaining

his socks are never in uniform (yes some uniform schools have sock rules)

gwen stacy / spider woman / ghost spider

idk what to call her

she has every snack you could ever want in her lunch bag

hates her music theory teacher

she literally has the most pristine locker with a calendar and a mirror and all that shit will write down test for you and important dates for the both of you

goes to school plays and shits on the story, like she ain’t pay 5 dollars to be there

some of her teachers hate her

like ma’am ur beefing with a whole 16 year old rn

she hate english teachers but love creative writing teachers

she keeps all her books in her locker never brings them home never brings them to class

always comes through with an extra pad no matter what

she also always has hand sanitizer

in like 4 extracurricular after school things and complains so bad

ur starting to hate that shit to ur sick of hearing it like girl quit then

10/10 cameraman she has every fight and every drama in 10khd and she will share them if you ask

she chews her pens and nails

has her drumsticks out always teachers have banned her from taking them to their classes

can watch tv on her phone but look focused you think she’s paying attention but then you look over and she’s watching good luck charlie

pavitr prabhakar / spider-man india

always late for class never in trouble

always eating and sharing food and never in trouble

how is he blessed like this? it ain’t fair

eats from the school vending machines or begs other ppl to share

will always have and share the homework answers no matter what he’s an angel

his sock always have holes in them like sir please get that shit together

gym try hard ik goes insane in football/soccer

very encouraging for shit u don’t wanna do he believes in you

you him and Gayatri talk so much shit but are somehow all well liked

he tells you what teachers are dating (he can just tell)

he has toothpaste in his bag for some reason?? i can just feel this one

his aunt will let you come over after school she’s so sweet to you.

always got a job at school assemblies

he’s reading poems or shaking hand or leading in the school pledge or something

Pav’s is short because i have no fucking clue if school in India is different form america and Barbados

[monochromeruby]

Why Riya should (and deserves to) win All Stars

Back on my bullshit… Here we go…

Reason 1: She definitely worked the hardest.

Out of the final four, Riya has definitely done the most. She made game moves, thought about her decisions logically, and had her eyes on that BAG from beginning to end. She had eyes on her from the beginning and she still stuck around to the final four. She played her pieces and used her cards, and truthfully, she was probably the only character that kept 👏her 👏head 👏in 👏the 👏 game👏

Reason 2: Compared to the other finalists, Riya is a clear deserving winner.

Ally also worked hard I’ll admit, but Riya had done more power plays I’d say. She had her act together near the beginning and end, and I’ll defend Ally to the grave, but comparing her game and Riya’s… Riya did more. (Not to mention that it was Riya that made her start playing the game more fiercely…)

Connor… love… do you know where you are? I feel like he’s lost half the time. Not to mention he rejoined.. he was literally gone for 40% of the game… His arc has mainly been worrying about Riya and he’s been letting her use him all the time. He’s made no game defining moves, only really binding the heroes together (which did nothing near the end), and using the totem (that he wouldn’t have used if it weren’t for Grett…)

And Jake… oh god… IHATE THIS TWINK.

Jake has done nothing but piss me off the whole season.. He starts bitching at James because of his jealousy, then fights with Ally for no fucking reason, same with Aiden, has his FACE lodged between Tom’s CLEAVAGE 24/7/365 and then at the visceral moment where he needed to get his ACT together, he goes and done fucks it up, and Ashley gets eliminated. His game has been nothing but emotional thinking, and he’s probably the least deserving winner. Let’s be honest with ourselves, the only reason he’s still here is because he’s a fan favorite and a writer’s pet.. He only gets his act together because SOMEONE ELSE has to tell him to. He’s like a chihuahua that barks at other dogs minding their DAMN business and then someone has to reel in his retractable leash so he can stfu. PLEASE… Jake had done literally nothing except ruin his own game and then cries about it.. please get him off my screen forever..

Reason 3: We just need more of her.

“Riya already made the finale why do we need more of her???” NO SHE DIDNT!!!!!!!

The Riya that got to the finale in season 2 was not the Riya we have now. 95% of Season 2 was a completely different character until the very end. Now in All Stars we’re seeing the Riya that was only shown in the last few episodes. She’s a completely different character. She’s not the “villain again”. She wasn’t the villian for the majority of season 2. Now we get to SEE her as the villain for the whole season instead of just a few episodes. We’re being fed a girlboss and you’re being picky???? What is wrong with you???

Reason 4: It would be perfect for her arc.

Riya’s character has been about how she acts differently on camera but worries that her real relationships are drifting apart. Hold my hand. Picture this with me.

Riya wins. She gets the 3 mil. But literally nobody celebrates. They just kind of look at her as she realizes that she won at the cost of her relationships with those she cared about. Like??? Wouldn’t that be a perfect way to end her arc??? That would probably be the best way to wrap her up. If she gets eliminated, then it would just be like “haha, you did bad things, here’s your karma.” Like YAWWWWN. But if she won???? It would be perfect for her to realize that winning wasn’t everything, and that the people she hurt and lost are permanent. This comment on yt sums up what I’m trying to say:

And Reason 5: If she loses, what will that do for feminism? Nothing. Do you hate woman? Is that it? You disgust me. (This is a joke)

So all in all: Riya should win because she’s the best player out of the four, and I want a winner that actually WORKED to win. Not only that, but it’ll be the perfect end to her character. Her losing would just be a bland close to her book.

[perpetually-sad-but-its-fine]

7x01 of chicago med and what. the. fuck????

natalie left. (low-key kinda saw that coming)

dean archer is still an asshole but POP OFF doctor charles. i did not think he had that in him.

will halstead and stevie hammer????

bro???

he said ‘I know dr. hammer’ in that tone and with that look in his eyes???? am i reading into it or is seggsual tension???????? (spoiler alert: its seggsual tension)

Goodwin’s ‘ah, okay, nice’ is fuckin HILARIOUS to me bc she’s just so done with all of will’s bs and im so here for it.

bro the way that stevie walked towards will and their banter?! oh they definitely fucked. definitely.

maggie sliding into frame. LMAOOOO we love that

will’s thumbs down gesture when maggie asked what his rank was in the class *snort* me too

BRO? APRIL’S JUST GONE??? IK THEY SAID SHE GOT ACCEPTED BUT THEY DIDN’T EVEN ELABORATE ON THAT????? WHAT THE FUCK??

animosity b/w marcel and halstead better LEAVE rn. im not in the mood for more unnecessary angst

dean archer further cementing himself as asshole of the year

but

will’s reply??

*chef’s kiss*

archer fuckin deserved that

istg if will doesn’t punch archer, I WILL

the way that archer said, ‘gemma and emma’

archer’s ‘i'm sorry, you said what?’ to the twin was fuckin GOLDEN

and the clarification of ‘i would like a needle in my arm, too’ and the other twin nodding??? true comedy

ik ive only known vanessa for a few episodes but I already love her and sheS SO BEAUTIFUL

bro, gemma and emma saying ‘we’re one person’ ew ew ew ew ew. no. it creeps me tf out

dr. charles’ pained smile just says ‘nope nope nope’

ARCHER AND CHARLES

OH MY GOD

‘with your history, i guess you just never know’

DOCTOR CHARLES

ARCHER’S LOOK OF SALTINESS AFTERWARDS

LMAOOOOOO

vanessa desperately trying to keep the conversation going w/o a fight

dr. charles’ logic better fuckin work

*rosa diaz voice* ive know dylan scott for half an episode but if something happens to him, i will kill all of chicago meds writers and then myself

stevie and dylan’s dynamic?? they may have barely said anything to each other but i love it already. they work so well together.

when is archer going to get punched???? WHENN????

if i were dr. charles i would've prolly yelled at him and kicked him in the head

is it foolish of me to hope that maggie and vanessa end up becoming closer so that i can see their mother-daughter dynamic??? yes, it is. do i keep hoping anyway?? unfortunately, i do.

I JUST WANT THEM TO BE A FAMILY AND TALK TO EACH OTHER ABT THE STUPID SHIT THAT HAPPENS IN THE ED. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR????

sharon goodwin is in her bad bitch era and im here for it

BRO CMON

marcel and halstead would be great friends!

they'd be the best of bros!!!

WHY THE FUCK MUST THIS HAPPEN

i do not trust cooper

not in the slightest

loving how the animosity b/w marcel and halstead disappears the MOMENT someone else tries to suggest something

dr. marcel’s ‘oh?’ is funny and sexy and its telling matt cooper to stfu

‘yeah, okay then’ is the most obvious FUCK YOU, ive seen in a while

get matt cooper off my screen rn

will, i'm glad ur right but now is not the time to give the face of ‘i told you so’

*gasp* are we gonna learn about stevie’s backstory in her first episode????

the look on her face when she asks the patient if she's living in her car??? its personal. one hundred percent

STEVIE’S SO GENTLE???? I LOVE HER????

her and dylan have actually sky-rocketed in my charts and they are now amongst my favorite characters

PLEASE

dylan and stevie’s banter??? *chef’s kiss* we love to see it

NO GOD PLEASE

VANESSA’S FIRST SOLO CALL AS A DOCTOR AND SHE NEEDS TO ANNOUNCE SOMEONES DEATH???? NOOOOOO

MY BABYYY

maggie comforting vanessa??? that was so sweet!!

goodwin: guilt-tripping will into doing what she wants

me: >:o

OH MY GOD ITS THE WRONG TWIN

THEY SENT IN THE OTHER TWIN

OH. MY. GOD.

I WAS RIGHT

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

DAMMIT WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW???

dylan scott is such a sweetheart and we do not deserve him

dr. archer and dr. charles patching things up? kinda?

dr. charles’ look of confusion, wondering whether archer was genuine or not? perfect. amazing. fantastic.

oh god marcel and halstead

how’s this gonna go?

oh wow

not as bad as i expected

can they PLEASE be besties now??

PLEASEEEEE

archer is giving out compliments???

is he okay???? did he fall on his head at one point during the episode?

I FUCKIN KNEW IT WAS PERSONAL FOR HER

ITS BECAUSE OF HER MOTHER

I KNEW IT

THEY ACTUALLY REVEALED A LITTLE BIT OF HER BACKSTORY?????

damn alr

[angstyaches]

hey! it is a rather different request this time. uh. i know you’ve been having some Mental Health Days tm too, so you absolutely do not need to write this if it’s too much or if you don’t want to. so i’ve been having some pretty fucked time lately, and that included me getting weirdly nauseous because my thoughts were too fast? if that makes sense? like. emotional motion sickness? so i was wondering, if any of your ocs suffer from depression or any other mental illness, could you write them getting sick from that w their partner comforting them? (id especially love shayne and charlie, but it’s up to you!)

i know this is a very intense request, so you can very much 100% ignore it/delete it/tell me to stfu/ whatever you need. thank you, i hope we all feel better soon <3🍄

Note: this is not the fluffy fic I was talking about yesterday.

Mild spoiler alert, but I want to give some context. While I was working on this and one other fic, I started thinking about how difficult it can be to believe someone loves you when you’re at a dark point in your mental health, and I want to explore that a bit with both Charlie and Shayne. That’s why Shayne says “Thank you” at the end of this fic; he’s not being an asshole, he’s just taking a moment to recognise and appreciate that Charlie loves him.

CW: anxiety attack, emeto, mild touch aversion and trust issues

_____

Charlie had been sitting in the single armchair with his laptop all morning, lost in the depths of the Internet. It had started off as a single scouring of his university’s website, which had ended in him lightly stalking the Facebook page for their LGBTQA+ society. From there, he’d ended up finding a Facebook group for incoming students for his course, and gotten added to a private chat with a few of them. One girl had found a copy of the semester’s reading list, and from there, Charlie had gone on a tangent of trying to find cheap copies of the books on various websites. His older brother Jonathan had warned him about how university libraries sometimes only stocked one copy of a book that sixty students would all need on the same day, and Charlie wanted to be prepared.

It wasn’t until someone in the chat said they were leaving to go get lunch that Charlie realised how long it had been since he’d looked up from the screen. He said goodbye to them and closed the lid of his laptop, stretching his arms out over his head. His legs were draped over the arm of the armchair, so he stretched those out too, almost kicking Shayne in the head since he was sitting on the sofa.

“Oh! Sorry,” he giggled, hopping up and placing his laptop on the cushion where he’d been sitting. “I hope you don’t feel like I’ve been ignoring you.”

“Nope.” Shayne had his head propped up on one hand, his eyes slightly glazed over. He sounded like he could have been in a bad mood, but those were sometimes hard to distinguish from normal moods, so Charlie tried not to read into it.

“How are you doing?” Charlie asked, slumping down on the sofa. He reached over and brushed his fingers through Shayne’s hair, his heart sinking when Shayne flinched at the contact. “Something wrong?”

Shayne shrugged, gaze dropping to the floor as he folded his arms across his middle. Charlie immediately began to analyse the situation, his heart thrumming with the frantic worry he always felt when Shayne began to clam up.

“Are you feeling sick?”

Shayne shrugged.

“If you are, I can get you some medicine.”

“No.”

“Okay.” Charlie cleared his throat. “I was thinking of having lunch soon, if you want to join me.”

“No, I don’t –” Shayne leaned forward, burying his face in his hands. “You don’t get to decide what goes in my body, Charlie.”

“Whoa.” Charlie sat forward too, wishing he could get a glimpse at Shayne’s expression. “That’s not what I was trying to do.”

Fists clenched by his sides, Shayne got up from the sofa. “Just leave me the fuck alone, okay?”

“Okay,” Charlie said in a small voice. He wrung his hands in his lap, letting his eyes follow Shayne across the living room.

He paused by the door to the hallway, like he was considering whether or not he actually wanted to storm out. In the end, he turned around again, crossing his arms.

“Shayne?” Charlie eased himself to his feet. He knew sudden movements probably wouldn’t make Shayne any worse, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

“No.” Shayne shook his head and started walking back and forth. His fingers were digging into his upper arms. “No. Don’t. Don’t.”

Charlie felt sick. He couldn’t tell if Shayne was talking to him, or to himself.

As much as it killed him to just stand and watch, he kept himself planted on the spot and let Shayne pace back and forth. It was better for him to use up some of his nervous energy for a few minutes. Charlie knew the last thing he should do was try to control him when his anxiety acted up, since it was usually the feeling of losing control that caused it.

What he wasn’t expecting was for Shayne to suddenly turn and fling himself towards him, head hitting Charlie’s shoulder with force.

He was gasping as he tried to get words out. “I-I can’t – Charlie, everything’s messed up. My stomach, my chest – I can’t fucking breathe–”

“Oh, lovely, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Charlie whispered as calmly as he could.

Shayne exhaled deeply, his body falling still for a moment. It felt like a calm before a storm. Charlie held his breath, not quite sure what kind of storm to expect. He realised he wouldn’t have been shocked if Shayne had turned around again and punched a hole in the wall.

In the end, Shayne just jerked his head back, his eyes watery and unfocused. The tension in the air changed, becoming less intense but a lot more delicate.

“Are you okay?”

Shayne shook his head.

“What’s wr–?” Charlie started to ask, cutting himself off when Shayne abruptly spun on the spot and leaned over, a weak stream of sick pouring from his lips. “Oh.”

“Fuck,” Shayne whimpered, pressing a hand over his mouth. It had landed mostly on the glass coffee table and not on the rug, at least. He gave a muffled “Sorry” from behind his hand before he sank back onto the edge of the sofa.

“Hey, don’t – don’t worry.” Charlie dragged over a metal bin that lived in the corner of the sitting room, mostly for used tissues and snack wrappers to be thrown into. Luckily, it was empty now. He knelt down in front of Shayne, who was still covering his face as he leaned on his knees. “There’s a bin, in case you feel sick again.”

Shayne just shuddered in response.

“Hey,” Charlie sighed, resting a hand on his shoulder. His breath was a serious of ragged gasps again, making his body convulse so badly that Charlie couldn’t tell if he was still retching or not. “Are you okay? What – what happened there?”

“Everything… Everything was too fast, in my head.” Shayne let out a shaky sigh, fingers clinging to his hair now. His eyes were squeezed shut. “Charlie, what the fuck’s wrong with me? What am I going to do?”

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me.”

“I can’t.”

“Look at me.”

“I can’t, Charlie!”

“Shayne, trust me, alright?” Charlie extended both arms, palms facing up. “Squeeze my hands.”

The breath shuddered out of Shayne as he took Charlie’s hands, closing his fingers tightly.

“Alright, now, count backwards from ten with me. Ten –”

“Ten…”

By the time they reached zero, Shayne’s grip on Charlie’s hands had relaxed, and there didn’t seem to be any fresh tears on his face. He was shaking, and his eyes were searching Charlie’s like he was waiting for them to spit out the meaning of life. Charlie had never felt like more of a fraud, a charlatan; he hadn’t even been sure that the counting-backwards-from-ten thing would work, but he was glad that it had.

“Okay? You with me?” Charlie whispered.

Shayne nodded distantly.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah. No.” Shayne’s teeth chattered as he fought to compose himself. “Sorry. Physically, yes, but everything – everything else is just…”

Charlie shook his head, feeling like his heart might break from watching Shayne try and fail to find the right words. “Lovely, it’s okay.”

“Fuck. The coffee table,” Shayne groaned.

“Hey, that’ll be easy to clean up,” Charlie half-laughed. “I’m gonna go do that now, and then I’ll make us some tea, okay? Do you want to lie down while you wait?”

A short nod, a glassy gaze.

“Okay. Maybe don’t lie on your tummy, though,” Charlie said as Shayne began to move, anxious that he would resort to his preferred position for sleeping and relaxing. “It might make you sick again and make it hard to breathe.”

“’Kay,” Shayne murmured, curling up on his side with his knees almost all the way up to his chest.

Charlie stroked his shoulder and prayed to a god he didn’t believe in that he’d be able to understand what went on inside his head one day. He had a heavy feeling in his chest as he got up from the floor.

Charlie turned around at the door. He both loved and hated how tiny Shayne looked, curled up on the sofa. He drew a deep breath. “I love you.”

Looking exhausted, and also like he was about to start crying again, Shayne nodded and said something in a very low voice before letting his eyes close. He’d mumbled it – badly, even by his own standards – but Charlie was almost certain that Shayne had said, “Thank you.”

[fandom-sheep]

Fundy 28 APR 21

Delayed Liveblog Vault Hunters Part 1/1

Our favorite fox is damp. And apparently can’t get his hair to sit right.

He’s already having to raise the redemption price. It’s been 5 seconds.

I don’t even quite get Vault Hunters I know Hbomb did it last season and that it.

Charm. Lovely.

Is the bottom right a confetti cannon?

Oh no we have to fight? We can’t be trusted.

We are the sort of people to purposefully lose the fight.

Don’t get me wrong. We love Fundy and will cry on command. But also we are rather mean to him.

Mystic Tomato. I don’t know what it is but I love it.

I was saving up Chanel points for water and ads. But now I gotta save for those and the little fun reward pack things.

Oh no. Did we hit 100 subs already? That’s what it says over his name?

Confetti canon?

5up! Hooray!

HBomb humoring Fundy with the emotes.

Fight fight fight!

So close. We tried out best to fight the giant.

Alright chat. We need another arena. Everyone get him.

Everyone in chat yelling about Phil doing stuff in OSMP. Wrong server y’all. We can deal with that later.

Ooo are we doing VC?

Everything is so chaotic already.

Tubbo and Fundy trying to figure everything out.

You know things are confusing when the original people are like “the what?”

There was a how to play meeting? And somehow these boys are still confused.

Tubbo at least has an excuse to be confused.

I love skill trees in games. They just look so pretty.

“I see a melon!” -Fundy

5up our beloved.

My streamer is being beat up with a boomerang.

Fundy doesn’t know what’s happening, but he’s rich so it works.

Tubbo is just saying every name in hopes he says the right one.

Pizza!

We attack!

WE WIN!

We did it! We’re a good chat!

Is 5ups skin still cog champ themed? Maybe not. Maybe my brain is being goofy.

Is Fundy complaining about his hair? I’m not actually paying attention. What is chat on about.

That’s one thing that can be said about all the chats. They like it when their streamers have fluffy hair.

Chat really is just crying aren’t they. Fundy’s chat has a skill of crying at everything.

Hooray 5up is active! Fundy go say hi for us!

Hooray friends!

Super good item! I don’t get it, but super good item!

ITS THE BEING!

Arena arena. We’re almost to the arena!

Aww. I missed the bets.

ARENA TIME!

Beat em up chat!

Oh no. He’s hitting hard.

WE DIDS IT!

ARENA TIME!

Oh were getting hit hard.

But we did it!

Good Job Wolf! Awesome Millionaire!

No arena box for winning. Rude.

Chat can’t even remember how many fights we’ve won.

Stupid full inventory.

Temporary base on the hill.

Pretty chest!

All the gifted subs. Such a popular streamer.

That looks so cool! I missed what it did but it looks cool!

Ooo all sorts of cool things.

Look at chat go

SHULKER SHELLS!

Look at everyone giving Fundy things.

It’s neato that they use peoples skins. That you can see the people who donated.

Shulker crates! Nice! That’ll be good for transporting things.

We’re so fancy.

Ooo sorting. The most complicated thing.

Chats over here spoiling our streamer.

Wool?

ARENA TIME!

We got this!

Beat em up subs!

WE WON!

Looting 2 noice.

Mods bribing chat to stop barking with Scooby snacks. I love them so much.

Wolf my dear you have done nothing wrong.

Oh cloud9 has a fox skin!

Ooo create mod. We know about that.

A lovely little base.

Cake is being stolen all over the place.

Stab stab the dragon.

Hooray follow goal! Music time!

Oh... that was it. Alrighty we’ll take what we can get.

Time to win an arena subs. We want music.

Our boy is confused.

Fundy just read the chat. They are telling you.

I got to get this time! The subs will destroy everyone!

Happy Halloween?

Gasp! Mega gift!

Pretty skin!

We love the Fundy mods dearly. They are so chill and nice.

The water well has run dry.

The streamer has escaped. It’s just us, the mods, and the chair.

Oh a Schlatt plush! Neato!

Schlushy I agree with that name.

“Not the hat the other one.” LOL.

Chat go Glatt

Went to get water the. Forgot to drink it.

Subs can modify emotes left and right.

Viper good job! Good book!

Fundy doing his game at middle of the night o’clock.

Streamer... please sleep. Please eat meals.

We’re almost at the Arena!

Sleep 8 hours... just at the wrong time.

Chat fully admitting to thinking our streamer is dumb enough to fall in lava.

We have learned to balance our expectations Fundy.

Oh this is going to be a long stream. A really long stream. I’ll probably need to take a break and do some work.

Arena Time! Beat em up subs!

Good job subs!! You did it!

Let’s see what we get for the arena.

So many Wolf!

Diamond!!!

Putting the winners on their boxes. Nice.

I have so much work to do, but I just want to watch the funky Fox.

Villagers? We love villagers.

PIANO!

Oh we’re switching screens it’s serious piano.

So lovely. I love listening to music people do their things.

I love the fact the subs keep shouting FundyJam!

I swear improv music should not sound this lovely

Spooky sounding tune. Sounds like a boss fight in a haunted castle.

Awesome piano!

Poor boy so annoyed by his hair. Bless his heart.

For anyone who doesn’t touch Twitter. The Fundy Updates Twitter is fabulous and amazing. They are just always so upbeat over everything.

Trying to nether portal. You go fox friend.

Wow Just portal to the center do a lava lake. Under soul sand.

You go 5up! You get that bastion.

Rip 5up.

Poor Fundy doing his best.

How’s the VC crew doing?

MENDING GOLD PANTS!!!

The drip is back!

Also I voted no in the will he burn pole. I have faith in my streamers.

We’re calling Fundy emo now. And he’s trying to deny having an emo phase, and failing.

I don’t know what’s happening half the time in this chat.

Fire Fox!

We’re still calling Fundy emo. Chat spoils the streamer and chat bullies the streamer.

Oh are we trending emo Fundy? Nice. I’m conveniently scrolling on Twitter.

Look at us bully our streamer.

The two people in chat. Those saying emo Fundy. Those going “his hair is nice stfu”. The duality of chat.

Sounds of suffering coming from the nether.

Fundy has taken responsibility for enderpearls.

We cursed Fundy? I look away for 10 seconds.

Pixel has turned on Fundy.

Fight that ghast.

Fundy’s going to get all the endermen.

Piglin goes smack.

We’re wearing the drip. Nice.

Everyone gets rich so fast here.

Well. We’ll just leave the corpse there.

Sizzle.

The people who bet on him dying are so rich in channel points now.

*sad fox noises*

Surely not. Fundy we have lost all hope in you.

Pixel doing everything they can to do anti emo Fundy.

Aww. I missed the prediction. I bet he won’t die. I believe in him.

Fundy being scared by his own body. Cant wait to see that clip everywhere on YouTube.

Back to attacking the endermen.

Tubbo is such a villain. He’s so willing to kill HBomb.

Fundy just getting back to work.

I’m sorry corpses become skeletons. That’s horrid.

Off to get the dragon. The dragon the dragon.

Tubbo was smote.

HBomb and Fundy fully ready to be that person that steals the temple.

Hbomb shaped chest. That is great.

Everyone bullying HBomb.

Almost Arena time.

Betting yes on the arena. The subs are strong and they’ve got this.

My twitch app is being stupid. This might be my signal to take a break and do my school work.

8k boosters and the chat goes nuts.

Chat from where I am is just a bunch of booster packs. I think I need to close and reopen the app.

There we go. There is the lovely chat.

Arena time!

Aww. My bet disappeared when I moved the app.

No! He’s cheating! The subs are doing their best!

Good job subs!

I mean it’s a diamond sword. It’s not diamonds but it’ll do.

I heard a du du du du?

I’ve got to go. Time to be productive with my life and time.

Let me know if I miss anything especially stupid or funny.

Alright it’s been 2 and a half hours but I’m back.

Looks like I missed a lot, and the boy has been going 5 hours.

Still on Vault Hunters? How is he not tired of this yet good gracious.

We’re enchantin’

I don’t know what’s happening but I’m watching.

Who stole all the luck from the boy?

Good that he’s drinking plenty of water

Good that he’s taking a break for foods.

What is with the lightening sounds? I don’t like it.

Spare the soup pet.

Sadness. No 3rd cow.

Yes! One more arena!

Lure da cows.

No that’s the Fundy Cow!

Nooooo. That’s worse than killing it!

Did we win our other arenas? I only say the first 5 or so.

Lightening Cow. Lovely.

Noooo the cowwww!

For once Fundy isn’t the one thriving.

He tunneled the cow out. Wow.

Bye 5up! Good luck!

Hi Crumb. The cow was snatched.

Noooo. Quit stealing our cows!

What he jumps like Superman and steals our cows.

Cow bunker.

These cows will get snatched. I just know it.

No. No taking da cows.

Our cows must be protected.

Enchanting is not on our fox’s side

Oh so they did beat the enderdragon. Good for them.

All sorts of neato elytra.

I must go again. I am called to dinner.

Good job getting you diamond sir.

30 minutes later I am back and we are chatting with HBomb.

Sharp boomerang.

Saw a bit of cat maid peaking out there.

5up judging Fundy for just sitting and mining.

Oh the facecam is off. I’m just noticing.

I guess it probably goofed up and froze.

Everyone in chat talking about how much to make the magic packs. I like the people saying 6.9k just for the funnies.

I’m voting 6.9k in the pole just for the funny.

I know it won’t win but I’m doing my part.

Goblins? What the squeak did I miss?

What. We stab the goblins. And they give us emeralds?

This mans has been going for 6 hours and a while. I hope he doesn’t forget to look after himself. He was talking about eating an hour ago.

I love all the product minions. All the donators just chilling on their chests.

Why are all the minions black and white? I missed that one?

Oh they run out. They ran out of stuff and out of color.

Wealth in the chest, since we don’t have a mouth.

Angel or Fairy? Is that even a question? (Chat chose fairy)

Fairy Fox. I want to draw that but have negative amounts of art skills.

We’re killing time until we hit 7 hours.

We’re meeting up with 5up! Nice!

Oh HBomb left and thought Fundy hadn’t done anything in 20 minutes but jump around his castle. LOL.

We hit 7 hours and dipped.

7 hours and almost a thousand subs. Look at us go.

Hello Puffy Raiders! You’re a bit late but hello!

Oh no. He’s panicking and not ending.

Please someone who feels like being annoying remind the mans to eat.

Raffle? Oh donators! They go through a raffle thingy! Nice!

Hooray OSMP but also Fundy please sleep and such.

Not even raffling. Just opening and closing.

Nice spin noises.

WOLF! Wolf earned to win the raffle.

Wait wait wait? Fundy go get some food and go to bed!

Hey look there is our streamer!

This is the max post size lol. 5up raid let’s go! Hello 5up! We are here! But now I’m going to bed. Oh nevermind. I hear the fox. Ah that’s smart 5up. Anyway. I’m gone now.

[sintatae]

stfu

stfu // 912 words (previously on old acc chimtaehyvng)

...in which you know yoongi’s a grouch, but you just can’t help it. those videos were just so funny.

pairing: yoongi x reader genre: fluff, couples that live together!, some typical yoongi swear words tbh, this was just a drabble, crack tbh

Yoongi and you were never the conventional couple.

You knew that what you wanted in a relationship was for your partner not to baby you, someone who could tell you the cold, hard truth, and someone who wouldn’t treat you so delicately.

And what better person was that, other than the ice man himself, Min Yoongi.

Having moved in together recently, you were starting to get to know his little habits, quirks, and tendencies.

I mean, you already knew he was a lazy shit that wanted to sleep all day. You knew that he could be a grouchy grandpa that rolled his eyes better than you ever did. But he was also a driven, hard-working artist. Which was why you should have known better than to keep pestering him to watch some funny video while he was busy writing.

It had been one of those days. Those days where everything seems funny and you keep laughing. Perhaps you were overtired, stressed from work, or just plain bored—you were being weird and you didn’t care who was in the path of your amusing, albeit annoying, destruction.

Yoongi was in the studio-made office room of your shared apartment, working on a new song. Usually, you knew this wasn’t a time for you to interrupt his creative process, and you respected that.

You weren’t sure what you wanted, if you were being needy or clingy (again, maybe you were just bored), but you found yourself laying on the couch in front of him while he worked at his computer.

You were just scrolling online, watching any random, or obscure video that seemed to pop up. Every now and then you would chuckle and cover your mouth, attempting to be careful of not disturbing your diligently, working boyfriend.

‘Attempting’ being the operative word.

“Babe, you’ve got to watch this video.” You said, holding back laughs.

“Yeah? Show me later.” Yoongi said, not even looking up.

A few videos later and—

“Hahaha—oh my gosh, Yoongi plea- you have to watch this, oh my god.”

“Mm. Okay I will. Later.” Yoongi replied.

A few more videos later.

“Oh my god what the hell, this fucking cat, I can’t breathe, look at this!” You laughed to Yoongi, yet again.

“Make me a list, I’ll watch them later. Now babe, please, I’m working okay? Give me like half an hour more, and we can laugh all we want.” Yoongi sighed, exasperated.

“Okay yeah sure, of course. Let me know if you need help with anything okay?” You smiled sweetly back at him.

Ten minutes later and another video of some DJ had you rolling in laughter.

“Hahahahahah- I, oh my, hahaha!”

“Babe—“

“Hahahahahahaha I can’t breathe oh my gosh please I-”

“Babe, please-“

“Yoongi oh my god, hahaha!”

“Babe!”

“Oh, yes?” You said, a few chuckles still bubbling to your throat.

“Can you help me with something?” Yoongi asked with a sweet smile on his face.

“Oh yeah sure!”

You stood up and went to go look at the screen that was lighting up Yoongi’s small, sculpted face.

However, what you saw was something you should have entirely expected, but were slightly taken aback instead.

The words “SHUT THE FUCK UP” were littered across the computer screen.

You actually felt your smile fall. You literally felt your face drop. Yoongi had no filter. You already knew that, but this. THIS. Oh. Oh, this.

You looked back at Yoongi, who had the most “done” expression on his face. He sighed exasperatedly, and shook his head, moving his chair closer to the computer screen.

You just stood there and stared at him in awe. Again, maybe yeah, you should have expected this. But, I mean, you were only just… laughing.

Pride getting in the way, you lifted your hand to flick him on the forehead before huffing and crossing your arms, walking to your bedroom.

You muttered something along the lines of, “I just wanted to show you a funny video. Jeeze, you grouchy, old man.”

Okay, so your ego was a little bruised.

“Stupid, grouchy, tiny old man.”

Okay, so your ego was a lot bruised.

Ten minutes later, you found yourself lying in bed…doing the exact same thing you were doing before. Watching videos.

You were just about to laugh again, when the door of your bedroom cracked open. You covered your mouth again, and turned to face the other way, feigning anger.

You felt the bed dip as Yoongi crawled in behind you.

“I’m sorry you were being annoying.”

You raised your brow and glanced at him from behind your shoulder.

“Okay, I’m sorry you were being annoying but I’m also sorry I wasn’t paying you any attention.” Yoongi said, slightly rolling his eyes.

You turned your body to look at him and there he was with his cute glasses, elbow propping his head up, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

You rolled your eyes, but cuddled closer into his chest.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. I shouldn’t have bothered you, oh-creative-genius Min Yoongi.”

“Okay babe,” He said, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Now what were those videos?”

You flicked him on the head again, “You’re not getting any anytime soon, I hope you know that.” He rolled his eyes. “But oh my god, anyway, so you have to watch this…” You continued.

And there you were, laughing again, infectiously. Yoongi could only smile. You were a fucking nuisance, but you were his nuisance after all.

*

an: lmao this was just pure...trash but here it is i’m literally screaming at 19/20 year old me who tf let me write this

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

BTS

Park Jimin/Reader [F]

Genre: Literally: just fluff and Halloween

Warning(s): The use of the word fuck like one time

Words: 1.7k

a/n: I know it’s still August, stfu.  I can write about Halloween if I wanna write about Halloween.  If y’all can talk about Christmas in like April, I can talk about All Hallows Eve.  Long story short, have a drabble that takes place after Taboo Attachment.  If you haven’t read that, feel free to click on that there link and do so. (pls love it, it’s one of my bbies)

October was your favorite month- for several reasons.  For one, it was the time of year for the best type of weather.  Breezes that chill the air just enough for the best hoodie hung up in your closet.  Leaves finally falling from their tree limbs only for them to crunch so satisfyingly under your boot heels.  

Another was Jimin’s apparent birthday he neglected to tell you about until the day of.  In which you haphazardly threw together a small party for him when he was working.  Only Seokjin, his mother and a co-worker pal of Jimin’s- Taehyung- on the attendance list.  When he came home that day, the smile he wore when he was shocked to see a small group of friends of his for his birthday showed you that this was enough. 

Lastly, the night of all nights: Halloween. 

“Hey, are you going to dress up for Halloween?” You asked Jimin.  You both sat on the couch, your legs are thrown over his as he rested his hand on your thigh, the other holding a book open as he read.  He had been reading book after book recently in his free time- find the imagination of human’s endearing.  He fancied non-fiction action the most.  He still sat in his human form, knowing his demon hand would risk cutting you with his claws.  He looked at you, eyes leaving his book. 

“Why would I need to?” 

“I dunno,” you shrugged.  “It could be fun.”  You took a sip of your tea, fresh and steamy as it sat in your mug.  A mug Jimin brought home as a keepsake from his job; the words Serendipity Spa printed in script on the side.  

“I don’t think I will,” he drew out in a breathy voice, looking back to his book.  Finishing his paragraph, he spoke again.  “What about you, dearest?  Any plans to play non-human for a night?” He joked with a chuckle.  

You smiled as you leaned to set your mug on the table and you whipped out your voice.  You inched closer to him so he could clearly see your phone’s screen as he set his book away for the second time.  You began to show him picture after picture of Halloween themed props and clothes. 

From fake blood to capes, you had it all.  You showed a pair of fake curled devil horns, fake teeth for fangs, all the black-gaudy clothes you could find and even red contact lens. 

“I’m going to be a demon,” you laughed at yourself.  “You’ll never guess what my inspiration was.” 

Jimin played along with your teasing.  “Well, if it isn’t your dashing demon husband, we’ll have ourselves a problem,” he told you.  Pinching at your side as you squirmed away from his hand. 

“Oh my- we could match!” You exclaimed.  “If you walk around as yourself- like your demon self- we could totally be the best demon couple ever.” 

“Is it safe for me to push my luck like that?” 

“Sure it is.  It’s Halloween, Jimin.  Everyone will think it’s just a costume anyway. duh.”

“Don’t ‘duh’ me,” he told you with another pinch.  “You can dress up all you want, I’ll just sleep.”  You expected that from him honestly.  You weren’t upset since you suggested it half-joking.  Jimin was very homebody recently, working tiring him out because of his skyrocketing popularity with clients who have steadily started becoming regulars.  You couldn’t blame either party.  You smiled as you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

“That’s completely fine with me.  You need to rest up too, just because your a demon doesn’t mean you don’t get tired.”  Jimin began to doze off, his demon slipping out along with his growing dreariness.  “Do you want me to stay in with you or can you hold down the fort?” 

Jimin hummed.  “You have plans?” He inquired. 

“My class is putting together a little Halloween party and I signed up for the working committee.  I’ll be helping run a small little prop-photo booth.”  Jimin remained slight.  “Oh, but I don’t have to go!  My class isn’t small but any means, so I can always skip,” you added with a small laugh.  

“No,” Jimin shook his head, letting out a breath out of his nose.  “Go have fun.  Not like I need to be taken care of,” he chuckled.  

“Are you sure? I really don’t mind.”

“Yes, love.  I’m sure.” 

When Halloween came, Jimin got home and was only vaguely aware you were working on a quick meal for him before you left.  By the time he fell onto the couch, he had already ditched his human skin, content on a nap right there. Next thing he knew, he was waking up and it was already past 8 PM and well dark out. 

“Y/n?” He called, momentarily forgetting you were gone.  Seeing a note under a glass of water, he sat up to read it. 

‘Please rest up! When you wake up, food is in the fridge (I know you don’t need it, but eat anyway.  Wife’s orders).  Bottom shelf! I’ll be home pretty late.  Happy Halloween!’

He scoffed playfull and moved to the balcony glass door.  Even on the third floor and the door closed, he could see and hear all the overseen children dressed up as they stay up well past bedtime to go door-to-door for a sweet treat or two to add to their stash. Jimin could see royalty to wicked dressed by toddlers with his excelled eyesight.  He let a small smile grace his lips. 

The single lamp lit room was comforting to the demon.  Cliche that the dark, shadow demon enjoyed the dark of his apartment.  The apartment he shared with you.  

From the couch, he heard his phone chime with a message.  It must’ve fallen out of his pocket while he slept.  Finding his place back on the couch he pulled the phone from it’s pinned position between the cushions.  It was a message from Seokjin.  He apparently volunteered to help your class (specifically you) with the party set up. 

He sent a photo of himself- ever the narcissist- along with a line of text. 

[Seokjin: Your wife dressed appropriately.  I’m not going to show you though.  Your loss.] 

He was obviously teasing, but Jimin did feel the smallest sliver of guilt that he didn’t actually get to see you dressed up for the night.  Glancing at the clock, he shot Seokjin a message back. 

[Jimin: So, when does this party end?]

Half an hour later, Jimin was meeting Seokjin at the front of a public gymnasium that the college party was currently held at. Showing up as a ‘dress up’ demon.  Seokjin- upon seeing him- whistled. 

Looking as his normal-self, Jimin sports his demonic traits the slightest bit of irony in his eyes.  Of course, pulling his finest pair of black slacks, white oversized button-up and freeing his forehead of his bangs.  The mocking cross earring in a dull silver, chains around his neck and plethora of rings on his fingers were a little added bonuses. 

“Wow, you sure take Halloween seriously, don’t you?” You even matched with Y/n!” 

“What can I say, Halloween is the best night to really be myself.” He shrugged as Seokjin clapped his shoulder.  Taking his sarcastic tone in stride when Jimin bit back his legitimate seriousness. 

Walking inside the party room was what he almost expected. Darkroom with, yellow, purple and green lights flicking around.  Students with a glow stick around their necks or wrists.  A long snack table with a cheap purple table cloth covered in bats and a Jack-O-Lantern at every turn.  There was a booth in the back for pictures with a selection of ‘spooky’ props. 

Jimin rolled his lips to keep from laughing at the costumes around him.  Hooker to nurse to batman to hobos and anything supernatural docked down was in the house.  At least 50 people in attendance with more still filing in. 

Seokjin pat Jimin’s back.  “Allow me to escort you to your lady,” he flaunted.  He was dressed up as a butler after all.  Weaving through the weeds of humans, Seokjin came to your booth.  You were inside, clean up from the last photo-goers.  “Y/n!  Your demon husband is here!” A slightly panicked squeal at Seokjin’s choice of words left you as Jimin slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.  You sped out of your booth, rounding the corner. 

“Shut up, Seokjin!” You gasped, seeing him with Jimin.  A dressed-up demonic Jimin with a face blessed by God.  “Jimin?!” You made your way over. “I thought you were going to stay home tonight?” 

“I persuaded him to come out,” Seokjin chimed in.  You offered him a glare, making him scurry off before he was faced to be met with your fury.  Disappearing into the crowd of costumes, tailcoat whipping behind his legs like a cape.  You crossed your arms.  

“It’s alright,” Jimin chuckled. 

“It is not! You’re tired and he made you come all the way out here.” You huffed as Jimin looked you over. 

“Seeing you like this,” he started.  You were dressed as a literal sin. The high-waisted garter shorts pressed into your skin, showing that your leg was more than bone (something he won’t admit to your face he fucking adores).  The fishnet excuse of an undershirt teased your stomach as your cropped and torn up black shirt exposed it.  The platform boots made you taller, making you eye-to-eye with him.  Pentagram earrings, chain choker around your neck and teased hair showing your fake horns and glower red covered eyes.  Jimin peeked his tongue out past his fang.  “Coming out was absolutely worth it. You look like a proper Demoness.” 

You pushed your chest out in pride.  “I take my demonic passion very seriously.”

“Of course you do.  You married me,” he teased.  One of your classmates volunteered to take photos of you and your husband in the booth.  You and Jimin quickly took the opportunity while it was presented. 

What other time are you going to get an authentic photo of your demon husband after all? 

Before leaving the venue, you both took a walk around a nearby block and more than a few children told you that your costumes were both ‘really cool’. You giggled each time a child swooned over Jimin- even a few mothers sent glances.  The night concluded as you and Jimin drove home and contemplated adding to your small family.  

By adopting a black cat.  Named appropriately: Pitch. 

-END-

a/n pt.2: pls appreciate the lack of curses here, bc it’s rly hard for me to limit myself.  I said fucking once and I’m proud of that. (hi appreciate the drabble pls thx)

[welovekpopscenarios]

41 minghao

Mimi’s Drabble Challenge #41: “Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!” + Minghao Word Count: 830Warnings/Genre: Fluff, humour, swearing, poor minghao

The excessive pinging of Minghao’s phone sitting beside himon the table was enough to pull him away from messing with Photoshop, a huff ofannoyance escaping from being disturbed as he was just getting into it.

One look at the notifications had him rolling his dark eyesup towards the ceiling, already annoyed at the barrage of messages from Junthat he hadn’t even read yet and contemplating throwing his phone back into hisbedroom to hide somewhere on his floor.

But, his heart could never let him, as much as he loathedit. Despite coming to accept that whenever Jun sent more than 5 messages it wasnever an emergency and more often than not to cry over some kids movie hewatched, he begrudgingly answered without fail to tell him to shut the hell upand leave him alone.

His slender fingers punched in the digits of his code withspeed, and head straight for the messages Jun sent. Better to get it over anddone with so he could return to his photography.

Jun: hey heyming ming!!! :D

Jun: how areyou buddyyyy!!!

Jun: I hopeyou’re doing well, I really do

Jun: youdeserve it bc you’re the best person ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Almost on instinct his eyes narrowed into impossibly thinslits, suspicion flooding every one of his senses and inexplicably filling himwith the need to punch Junhui for whatever stupid thing he’s done now. Thesecond he saw the first message, he knew Jun was up to no good.

You: jun stfu

You: what did you do

His reply came within in seconds, as expected of Wen Junhui.The man never strayed from his phone and payed more attention to the brightnessof his screen than anything Minghao ever opened his lips to say.

Jun: I amoffended that you would think I did smth!!

Jun: honestly,after all these years is there no trust, ming ming???

You: obviously fuckingnot

You: it’s you

You: now cut the shitand tell me what’s going on

Jun: r00d

Jun: well uhm,smth might have happened

Minghao didn’t even have it in him to sigh. Instead hisbrows furrowed and his lips twisted into a frown.

You: and what was thatexactly bitch

Jun: again,r00d, I’m not a bitch

Jun: and uhm

Jun: (((((:

Jun: I may have…

You: fuckin spit itout before I punch you

Jun: jeezalright

Jun: I may haveaccidentally told her you like her imsorryimsorryimsorry pls don’t kill me

Minghao’s phone slipped like jelly from his grip andclattered onto the surface of his desk. He scrambled to catch it, handsflailing and mouth spitting curses, panic setting into every single cell in hislanky body. He didn’t even need Jun to clarify who ‘her’ was, knowing full wellthere was only one possibility as to who Jun would spill the beans to and ruinMinghao’s life forever. He felt a dead weight settle in the pit of his stomachas he stared at the screen of his phone – one half of his body felt overcomewith nerves, sweaty palms and leg shaking nerves, and the other was pure ragethat left him seething.

You: WHAT

You: W H A T

You: WTF DID YOU JUST DO

You: IM GONG TP FUCKIGNKIL YOUI

You: JUN YOU ARE ADEAD FUCKNG MAN I SWEAR

You: THE NEXT TIME ISEE YOU I AM KNOCKING YOUR TEETH OUT

Jun: MINGHAOCALM DOWN

Jun: PLEASE DON’TKILL ME

Goddess: Hey

Minghao almost dropped his phone for a second time, butquickly caught himself as he stared at the notification. His mouth was ready tocatch flies, hanging open so widely his jaw was starting to cramp. Yet, hecouldn’t stop. There it was. A message from you, bright and blinking in frontof his face in the middle of his freak out, completely unware and innocent. Hisstomach churned in uneasiness, the vague message doing him no favours for hisheart that was currently hammering away at his ribcage and threatening to breakhis bones. Before he could overthink the situation and make plans to change hisidentity and get the first plane to Iceland, you messaged him again.

Goddess: So I was talkingto Jun

Goddess: He told me somethinginteresting about you

Goddess: and I’d love totell you what he told me over coffee tomorrow

Goddess: Are you free? 😊

Once again, Minghao was left utterly dumbstruck. Was this adream, was this honestly happening? This wasn’t healthy for his heart, that wasthe only thing he was sure of in this moment. Jun sent another message.

Jun: MINGHAOYOU HAVEN’T REPLIED IN EXACTLY 2 MINUTES

Jun: ARE YOU OKARE YOU STILL ALIVE

Jun: I’M SO SOSORRY

You: Sorry isn’t goingto help when I kick your ass!!!

You: but I won’t bekicking your ass tomorrow

You: I think I have adate tomorrow

[rocknvaughn]

You should go to the psychiatrist if you are obsessed with an actor who doesn't know that you exist and really doesn't care. You are an adult who thinks that tv series or film is a reality, spends too much time on thinking about younger man who lives on different continent and will never talk to you on his free will, because fans of your kind are dangerous. My name is Kate and yours? You will not tell, because frankly you are as secretive as most of the people on internet.

Well, Kate, I would say that it is nice to meet you, but that would be impossible, since we’ve never met. (Not to mention a lie, because you’re kind of a b*tch.) 

Which is why the verbal abuse you’ve been spouting at me is utter bullshit. 

The fact of the matter is that you don’t know me. You only know the few things that you’ve gleaned about me from here and from Twitter, and even that information is faulty. 

But wait...let’s put it all out here, so people can see just how lovely a person you really are: 

So, let’s take all these accusations one at a time, shall we?

1. Are you insane? The answer to that would be, why no, no I’m not; thanks for asking.

2. Did you ever think why United Agents are ignoring your tweets to them? Actually, no, I haven’t wondered this at all. I’ve only directly tweeted to them a couple of times over the years, and at least half of those interactions were simply to inform them about people who were impersonating Colin online. I don’t bombard them with tweets; they have better things to do with their time, and frankly, so do I.

3.  You are a psychofan/you should go to a psychiatrist... Well, that’s a hell of a statement to say to someone you’ve never met. And I assume you have some sort of degree that would qualify you to determine who does and who does not need psychiatric help? No? Didn’t think so... *eyeroll*

4. You are disrespectful/a liar. Disrespectful to whom? To Colin, who--by your own description--doesn’t know me and doesn’t care? To other people in the fandom? To people who are randomly abusive to me online? I’m afraid you’d need to be much more specific for that accusation to hold any weight.

5. You are acting like you know Colin, but you don’t and you never will. I have never, ever suggested that I know Colin, save for the thirty seconds where he signed my programme at stage door in 2013. I told him I thought the play was fantastic and he said, “Cheers, thanks a million!” and moved on. Did my amazing presence make an indelible impression on the Irishman in question? *snorts* Not hardly!

That being said, I am assuming this part of the tirade has to do with my remarks both here and on Twitter about Colin’s likelihood to attend Merlin-related Comic Cons or do stage door visits at the theatre when he appears at the National Theatre this summer. 

While I obviously don’t know the man personally, there is some empirical evidence that I use to support my thoughts on the matter. I’ve explained those reasons already, so I don’t see any purpose to rehashing that here. But, for example, if you want to see for yourself how uncomfortable Colin tends to be at stage door, I suggest you search out some of the videos taken from when he was doing Mojo. Personally, those videos make me cringe. 

6. Actors act, they are not the characters they play. Wow...thank you for pointing that out, because clearly, even at my advanced age, I had no idea what the word “actor” meant. /sarcasm

7. You are over forty years old, you are not a child. And your point is...? I’m not allowed to admire a person’s God-given talent or appreciate a handsome man’s looks because I am old and decrepit? You do realize that Colin is 32 years old, right? That means he’s not a child, either. In fact, he might just be closer to my age than he is to yours!

8. You are obsessed with an actor who doesn't know that you exist and really doesn't care. Wait...isn’t that the literal definition of being in a fandom? *eyeroll*

I relatively obsessively follow Colin’s career, yes that’s true. He does technically know I exist, as he’s actually met me, although I would never expect that he’d remember. I would hazard a guess that he cares about me insomuch as he appreciates his fans’ support, but nothing more. I don’t think I am “special” to him in any way, shape, or form, as you seem to be implying. I am firmly set in reality when it comes to that fact. 

9. You are an adult who thinks that tv series or film is a reality. Another incredible accusation, seeing as we’ve never met.  I’d like to know where you got this frankly mad idea, (actually, no I wouldn’t because I don’t care) as it is blatantly untrue. I am well aware of what is reality and what is not, although you are starting to make me wonder about your grip on it.

Also, you do know that some of the characters Colin has played were real life people, right? There’s this thing called research. I might suggest you do some before you go around randomly accusing people of insanity.

 10. You spend too much time on thinking about younger man who lives on different continent and will never talk to you on his free will. Again with the ageism. What exactly is your problem with my age in comparison to Colin’s? You do realise that Colin attracts fans of all ages, genders, etc. because that is what happens when someone is a gifted artist.

Also, I was unaware that there was a formula somewhere that determined how much time devoted to a fandom was too much time. Please, enlighten me as to its whereabouts so that I may avail myself of its mystical powers! (

I have no idea whether Colin would ever speak to me of his own free will, seeing, as you so rightfully pointed out, we live on different continents. Nor do I have any particular interest in trying to make that happen as he has much better things to do than to talk to me. But my point here is: neither do you know what he would do, so STFU, if you please. 

11. Fans of your kind are dangerous. Fans of what kind, exactly? What is it about me that are you terming dangerous: My interest in the man's projects and being willing to find and broadcast information about his career? My enjoyment of reading or writing the occasional fan fiction? My propensity for collecting memorabilia? My interest in his wardrobe? My steel trap of a mind that holds a multitude inconsequential Colin-related details? My willingness to travel to see his live performances whenever possible? My ability to determine and appreciate his physical attractiveness?

I think those things make me a curiousity at best, but not in the least bit dangerous. And if you actually knew me, this would be obvious.

In contrast, I don’t imagine that I have any sort of place in the man’s life. I don’t expect that I am special to him in any way. I don’t send him love letters or believe that “we are meant to be” or any of that hogwash. I haven’t tried to cut off a lock of his hair or follow him home. I don’t send him tonnes of presents, hoping he’ll notice me. And I don’t think that he owes me anything (besides his body of work) because I am his fan. 

He is a grown man that has his own private life completely apart and separate from mine, and I have no illusions about that.  

12. My name is Kate and yours? You will not tell, because frankly you are as secretive as most of the people on internet. First of all, there are reasons why people are secretive on the Internet...one of them being ignorant and rude people like you. 

Secondly, if your name is actually Kate, then mine might as well be Rasputin...because it’s just that meaningless. You could have literally picked that name out of a hat, since you are just as anonymous as “Kate” as you were after your first anonymous bashing. 

Obviously, you missed the point I was making in my last post, so let me be perfectly clear: it was that if you want to make rude, obnoxious, bullying comments about a person you don’t know, then come out with your screen name attached and OWN your statements. Let people see what kind of an arsehole you really are...but you won’t do that, will you?

Clearly, you have some sort of ax to grind with me. I’ve pissed you off in some way and you’ve decided to come at me like a coward by spamming my inbox with anonymous bashing. Apparently you expected me to be so ashamed that I would curl up, hide and just take the abuse. Well, good luck with that, because I have balls of solid steel and you can kiss my arse. 

Your five minutes are up, and I don’t feed the trolls. Rockn out. 

[tobythewise]

(N)oob

Thanks for the prompt @emani-writes!! 

Warnings for ‘gamer talk’, past knowledge of League of Legands that might not match how the game is played now, and some vulgar language at the end!

If anyone is interested in giving me some prompts for upcoming letters I need one word prompts starting with the letter O and then any letter after P! I also take any other types of prompts that anyone feels like reading! :)

Dean logged into his steam account. Gaming was one of hisguilty pleasures, something to help let off some stress and he genuinelyenjoyed it. It was fun taking on noobs and completely kicking their asses. Dean’sonly wish is that his boyfriend was online too. He looked at his list offriends and found the little icon next to Cas’s name showing he was offline.

Well, he had a few other buddies online to play with. Heinvited Jo, Charlie, Sam and Ash to play a game of League of Legends. Deanloved it when he could make a team up with people he knew. It always made thegame more enjoyable and more cohesive.

The five of them got into the lobby and queed up a gamebefore jumping on skype so they could talk.

“What’s up bitches?” Charlie yelled when everyone wasconnected. “You guys ready to kick some ass?”

There were a murmur of agreement from the group before thecharacter selection screen popped up.

“Alright, who wants to play where?” Dean asked. He’s notpicky so he’ll take whatever’s left over.

“Jungle!” Sam calls as he selects Volibear.

“I’ll take Mid,” Jo says as she picks Master Yi.

Ash decides on Rammus and takes mid.

“Well, that leaves us with the bottom, Dean.”

“Good thing Cas isn’t here to agree,” Sam adds with a laugh.

“Shut it, Sammy! I thought you said not to talk about my sexlife while you’re in the call?”

“Well yeah, cause you two usually get really gross!”

Jo pips in, “It’s because they’re in loooove.”

His friends are assholes… “I’ll take Ash if you wanna takeSoraka, Charlie,”

“Deal.”

Once in the game, they play like they normally would. Deanworks on farming minions and Charlie is there for support. They’re able to takea few shots at their first tower before matters start to get interesting.

A play on the other team, someone named BlueEyedAngel keepsjabbing at Dean. They’re playing Teemo which is, in Dean’s opinion, thetrolliest champion ever. Teemo keeps going invisible and waiting until Dean istoo far away from Charlie to get help. He attacks when Dean isn’t expecting itand causes First Blood.

Dean can deal with not being the best at this game. He candeal with getting tricked and killed. What he can’t deal with is goddamnkeyboard warriors.

BlueEyedAngel: GGWP,if that’s how your Ash plays then this game is in the bag

Like seriously? It was one death. Charlie was able toprotect our tower until I respawned. It’s not the end of the game yet, asshole.But Dean doesn’t voice any of those things. He’s a mature player after all.

BlueEyedAngel: Holy shit!Your Ash sucks so bad!

“Just ignore him, Dean. It’s probably some twelve year oldtrying to be cool,” Charlie reasons.

MulletDude: Bro! Areyou like twelve or something?

Oh good, there goes Ash trying to start shit too.

BlueEyedAngel: Aww,it’s so sweet that the noob needs his teammates to fight his battles for him.

Dean would usually start to get annoyed at this point but he’stoo focused on trying to take out this tower to care. Almost… Just a few morehits… and WHAT THE FUCK!!! He’s frozen!!! And here comes Teemo to poison Deanwith a dart. And now he’s dead again.

BlueEyedAngel: Gotchaagain, noob. GG! Might as well just give up. It’s all going down from here.

CrazyKnifeGirl: STFUand play the game!

BlueEyedAngel: I’mthe one kicking ass here. Tell Ash to learn to play the game! You shouldprobably just report for intentional feeding at this point.

Dean’s officially starting to get riled up. There’s no needto be such an asshole.

BlueEyedAngel: Ashsucks so bad they probably spend their weekend sucking dick.

“Holy crap this dude is a dick,” Charlie mutters.

TheMoose: Nah, heactually spends his weekend taking it up the ass.

“Sam!” Everyone yells in unison. Sam’s reply is to laughnonstop for an entire minute.

BlueEyedAngel: Wellif he’s anything like how he plays this game it must be half assed and sloppy.

Dean sighs. So much for a nice relaxing game of LOL.

GreenHunter67: Dude,what’s your problem? Are you a sad twelve year old whose mommy doesn’t love youenough?

BlueEyedAngel: Nah.My mommy gave me plenty of hugs growing up. I just like trolling you. You getflustered so easily.

GreenHunter67: Wellstop being such a keyboard warrior and try just playing the game.

BlueEyedAngel: I’mfinding making you upset is far more entertaining. Tell me, is your mom hot?

Dean rolls his eyes. Of course we’re going to get into momjokes…

TheMoose: Don’t talkabout my mom like that! She’s a really nice lady!

GreenHunter67: Wellthis has been a lovely chat but I’m going to mute my chat and play now…

And that’s exactly what Dean does. Too bad he’s already toofar behind on towers and minions to actually try and help his team at all. Thatdamn Teemo is too tricky and too skilled to trying and do anything. They end uplosing. By a lot.

In the postgame chatroom, BlueEyedAngel is still spoutingout taunts and insults. It’s starting to make Dean’s blood boil. He cracks his knucklesand places them on his keyboard.

GreenHunter67: Dude,first of all fuck off! No one likes a keyboard warrior. It’s immature anddisrespectful. All we wanted to do was play a game of LOL and here you arebeing an absolute asshole. Second, grow up! You’re acting like you’re apre-teen sitting in their mom’s basement waiting for her to call him up fordinner and picking at his acne filled face! And last, try getting a life. Maybeif you actually had friends you wouldn’t feel the need to sit online and trytrolling just to have some fun!!!! If you keep being and ass we’re gonna reportyou and block you.

Dean was breathing hard by the time he got all of that out.His eyes were blazing and his chest was tight with anticipation for a reaction.Then his steam pinged his attention.

New friend request: BlueEyedAngel

He accepted and a new message popped up on his personalsteam account.

BlueEyedAngel: Fuck!Seeing you get all bent out of shape like that got me so hard, Dean. I bet you’rebreathing so hard and your cheeks are flushed. God! I want to see you so bad!!Please come over right the fuck now so I can fuck you and make up for being adick. Sam thought it would be a fun prank but now all I wanna do is get poundedinto my mattress as you take out all your frustrations out on my ass!

BlueEyedAngel: Deanplease. I’m so hard for you right now!

BlueEyedAngel: Dean?Don’t disconnect! Please! I need you so bad!

BlueEyedAngel: If youdon’t message me back I’m gonna start without you and there’s no guarantee Ican wait until you’re here!

All these messages were left unread because Dean had alreadythrown his headphones down on the computer so he could hurry over to his stupidboyfriend’s house. And yes, Dean definitely took out his frustrations on Cas’sass.

[pllsetskyonice]

@yuriplisetsky is a size queen

Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky

2,900 words

“What are you talking about?”

“Your Twitter? Your thread that spends about ten tweets waxing poetry about the size of my dick? Everyone’s talking about it, the fans are going crazy, I had Victor ringing me up half an hour ago to ask if it was true and if I really had deflowered Russia’s Fairy like that, and I just – what the hell were you thinking, Yuri?”

In which Yuri gets drunk and Tweets some things he probably shouldn't have.

AO3 link

So @94mercy made this post that headcanoned that Yuri gets drunk one night and talks about the size of Otabek’s dick on social media, and I immediately knew I had to write it. Otherwise known as me just wanting to join in with all the hung!Otabek content that’s been coming out of this fandom in recent weeks. 

(Also tagging @daddybek because that’s where this all started back in February)

They’ve been dating for a few months when it happens.

Yuri goes round to Mila’s for a few drinks after practice one day, and they steadily make their way through a bottle of vodka, laughing and talking about their respective partners. The music is loud and Yuri feels all loose and giggly as he reaches for his phone, taking selfies and documenting their escapades on Snapchat. He’s never been this drunk before, so drunk he’s not even sure what order his memories from the last few hours go in, so drunk that he can barely stand, so drunk that the room is spinning.

He sits down and opens Twitter, starting to type. He doesn’t even think about what he’s Tweeting, just starts a thread and keeps on going until he gets it all off his chest. Mila is grabbing at his hands and pulling him up so they can dance together again, and Yuri’s phone lies on the couch, forgotten.

So he doesn’t see what he’s done until morning.

-

It’s the sound of his phone vibrating loudly on the bedside table that wakes him up. He’s in Mila’s spare bedroom, a small sized room with what feels like the most uncomfortable bed he’s ever slept on, but it evidently didn’t bother him at whatever time he collapsed onto last night. At least he made it into bed, he supposes. That’s an achievement, even if he’s still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

He grabs at his phone, squinting at the screen. It reads 6 AM, and is somehow fully charged, even though he has doesn’t remember plugging it in last night. It’s far too early. Yuri wants nothing more at this particular moment in time than to roll over and go back to sleep to avoid dealing with this hangover from hell, but it’s Otabek that’s calling him, so he supposes that he’d better answer.

“Hello?” he says, his voice sounding all croaky as he unplugs his phone and rolls back onto his back. There’s light streaming in through a gap in the curtains, and Yuri would get up and close them properly, but they’re too far away to deal with right now. Instead, he opts for the easier option: pulling his blankets over his head.

“Yuri, what the fuck?” Otabek asks on the other end of the line. Even in this still half drunk, hungover state, Yuri can tell that this is Not Good. “What were you thinking?”

“What are you talking about?” Yuri replies. He wonders if it’s about his and Mila’s Snapchat stories, but from what he can remember there’s nothing too outrageous on them, just some really bad singing in questionable English to pop songs neither of them like.

“Your Twitter? Your thread that spends about ten tweets waxing poetry about the size of my dick? Everyone’s talking about it, the fans are going crazy, I had Victor ringing me up half an hour ago to ask if it was true and if I really had deflowered Russia’s Fairy like that, and I just – what the hell were you thinking, Yuri?”

Yuri fumbles with his phone, opening Twitter with his phone call with Otabek still active in the background. He doesn’t even need to go onto his profile to see it, it’s all over his timeline. “Oh, shit,” he swears as he scrolls through the Tweets. “I don’t even remember posting any of this. I was so drunk, Beka. So drunk. I’m sorry.”

-

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

Alright buckle in its gonna be a bumpy ride let me tell you a thing or two about the size of @otabekaltin’s dick

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

I hope you’re ready bc I sure as hell wasn’t the first time I saw it – tho in fairness he did warn me about it beforehand

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

But I’m gonna be honest here and say I had to take a moment when we did somethinh sexual for the first time bc girl, I couldn’t’ cope

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

Shall we talk about the time he fucked me for the first time?

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

YES WHAT A WONDERUFL IDEA KETS CARRY ON TALKING ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY BOYF’S DICK FOR THE NEXT TEN MINUTS

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

After all of the prep (srsly ive never seen so much lube lmao) he finally entered me (is that even the right word idk I’m so drunk rn)

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

I’ve never felt so full in my whole life it was SO GOOD 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND (although hands off he’s mine)

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

honestly tho I swear the sex gets better every time? He REALLY know what he’s doing with that thing let me tell you

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

I did once ask if he needed a licence for it, he didn’t take it well lmao. Anyway, tl;dr: @otabekaltin’s dick is a godsend and

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago

I am forever grateful that I’ve got to experience such a masterpiece so many different times in so many different positions

Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 5h ago

Replying to @yuriplisetsky, @otabekaltin

Holy mother of god is this true? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS TRUE

Yuri Angels @yuriangels10 · 5h ago

Replying to @yuriplisetsky, @otabekaltin, @c_giacometti

AHAHAHA WE’VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR AGES WE CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING

-

“Yeah, I figured, from the numerous spelling mistakes and yours and Mila’s Snapchat stories from last night,” Otabek says, sighing. “But that doesn’t make this okay, Yuri.”

“I know,” Yuri says miserably as he continues to scroll through the shit storm that’s taken over his Twitter. “Do you want me to delete the tweets?”

“I’m not sure what good that’ll do at this stage,” Otabek says. “They’ve already been screenshotted and reposted too Tumblr and Instagram and Facebook so many times that deleting the original tweets doesn’t mean that people will stop talking about it.”

“True,” Yuri agrees. He hasn’t checked Tumblr yet but he already feels like the Yuri Plisetsky tag will be trending on there, full of screenshots taken from Twitter and detailed posts discussing it all. Instagram will be full of people screaming in the comments, and Facebook will have people criticising his decision to share this all on the internet for everyone to see. No doubt someone has already put together a compilation video on YouTube of closeups of Otabek’s crotch with Yuri’s tweets edited onto it. “I can’t apologise enough for all of this. I’m so sorry.”

-

russian fairy @plsetsky · 4h ago

@yuriplisetsky is a size queen

Jenna @xxknifeshoesxx · 4h ago

Replying to @plsetsky

I can’t believe that this is confirmed, what the hell

skate away @quadloop · 4h ago

Replying to @plsetsky, @xxknifeshoesxx

Is it just me that rlly wants to know just how big Otabek is now?

russian fairy @plsetsky · 4h ago

Nah (I mean it might be bordering the slightly creepy territory but still, SOMEONE FETCH THE GUY A TAPE MEASURE)

-

“I know,” Otabek says. “I’m not happy that this has happened, but it has, so we’ll deal with it – oh no, Victor’s just messaged in the group chat.”

-

Victor: EXPLAIN YOURSELVES

Victor: [multiple screenshots of Twitter threads]

Yuri: …

Yuri: why the hell should we have to explain ourselves to you two??!

Victor: BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IN THE SKATING WORLD IS TALKING ABOUT THE SIZE OF OTABEK’S DICK AND HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT AND WHY DID YOU POST THIS ALL ONTO TWITTER?

Yuri: jesus

Yuri: stop yelling

Yuri: I was drunk and said some things on twitter, it’s not a big deal

Victor: It very clearly is!

Victor: Yakov is going to have your head off over this, I’m surprised he hasn’t called you yet

Victor: If you thought he was mad at you after Welcome To The Madness, then you’ve really got another thing coming

Yuri: I can handle yakov thank you

Otabek: I’d make a joke about how if you can handle my dick you can handle anything but somehow I don’t think that would be appreciated

Yuri: oh my god beka

Victor: You’re right, it wouldn’t be appreciated

Yuuri: Maybe

Yuuri: Maybe it doesn’t matter because they’re both consenting adults and what goes on behind closed door isn’t anyone’s business but theirs?

Victor: Yuuri I love you but that’s not the point

Victor: They’re going to get people going on about this for months, in interviews, in articles, online… it’ll come back to haunt you in five years’ time at a party when someone’s flicking through their camera roll and finds the tweets and is like, “oh wow who remembers when?”

Yuri: alright I get it my tweets are a ghost that’ll come back to haunt me

Yuri: can we all please calm down I really don’t want to deal with this rn

Victor: Is that because you’re hungover? Well you should’ve thought about that before you got drunk and posted a bunch of stupid tweets to twitter!

Yuri: *true, not stupid

Yuri: and stfu victor

Yuri: no one cares what you have to say

-

Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 3h ago

I’M YELLING pic.twitter.com/t35v5f

Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 3h ago

Someone should get yuri drunk more often this is GOLD

Mila Babicheva @mila_b · 20m ago

Replying to @phichit_chu

I honestly don’t know if I should be apologising or not

Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 20m ago

Noooo! Definitely not lmao I WANT TO KNOW ALL THE SECRETS

-

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 10m ago

@yuriplisetsky is this banana bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/235g5y

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 10m ago

@yuriplisetsky is this cucumber bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/43qg5

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 10m ago

@yuriplisetsky is this aubergine bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/4gaf35

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 9m ago

@yuriplisetsky is this leek bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/98rga3

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 9m ago

@yuriplisetsky is this can of dry shampoo bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/257g23

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 9m ago

@yuriplisetsky is this chair leg bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/5gsgj1

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 8m ago

@yuriplisetsky is this table leg bigger than otabek’s dic? pls respond pic.twitter.com/43tg83

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 8m ago

@yuriplisetsky is this branch bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/6grg24

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 8m ago

@yuriplisetsky is this tree bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/7gr32t

Yurabek For Life @yurabek4life · 6m ago

Replying to @slicetheice

@yuriplisetsky is this dildo bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/24gw46

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 6m ago

u ruined it

registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 6m ago

gtfo my thread

-

There’s a knock on the bedroom door and Mila enters, a glass of water in one hand and her phone in the other. Her hair is messy and she obviously didn’t get around to taking off her makeup last night, as her eyeliner and mascara is smudged around her eyes and what’s left of her foundation is decidedly patchy.

“Hey,” she says quietly, walking forward and placing the glass on the bedside table. “Thought you could probably do with a glass of water.”

“Thanks,” Yuri mumbles, reaching for the glass and taking a few small sips. Though his phone call with Otabek has now ended, they’re continuing to text as they both keep an eye on what’s happening on social media. Victor keeps texting him too, and Yakov keeps calling him, but Yuri is ignoring those. He doesn’t need a lecture right now.

Mila shuffles on her feet, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly, looking down at the carpet rather than at Yuri. “I never should’ve got you that drunk last night.”

“You do realise I don’t really give a shit, right?” Yuri replies. Mila’s head snaps up and she stares at him, brow furrowed.

“What?” she asks, confused.

“I don’t care, Mila,” Yuri says. “Maybe in a perfect world I wouldn’t have posted those tweets and sent the figure skating fandom into a meltdown, and maybe people at Google questioning wouldn’t be wondering why there’s been a sudden increase in people Googling what the average penis size in Kazakhstan is, but it’s not the end of the world. Otabek wasn’t best pleased at first but I think he’s getting over it now. If anything, it’s just given everyone another reason to be jealous of the fact that I’m dating him.”

Mila scoffs, a smile spreading across her face. “You’re something else, Plisetsky,” she says. “Are you going to tell me, then?”

“Tell you what?” Yuri asks, feigning ignorance as he continues to scroll through Twitter. He’s trending, but he’s not exactly sure how he’s supposed to feel about that given the circumstances.

“How big he is, of course!”

“Fuck no. Get out my room.”

“Technically speaking –”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

-

17 missed calls from Yakov

Yakov: What on earth is going on

Yakov: I hope you have a reasonable explanation for all of this

Yakov: I am concerned about that boy’s influence on you

Yakov: Please answer your phone calls

Yakov: Answer the phone when I call you!

Yakov: ANSWER THE PHONE!!

-

Otabek Altin retweeted

russian fairy @plsetsky · 5h ago

@yuriplisetsky is a size queen

Otabek Altin @otabekaltin · 1m ago

Replying to @plsetsky

Hell yes he is. ;) #yurisizequeen

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 30s ago

Replying to @plsetsky, @otabekaltin

#yurisizequeen CONFIRMED

-

Worldwide Trends · Change

#yurisizequeen

@yuriplisetsky and @otabekaltin are Tweeting about this

General Election

UK General Election ends in hung parliament

The King and The Skater III

@phichit_chu is Tweeting about this

#mysearchhistory

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve Googled?

Kazakhstan’s Hero

Otabek Altin is now being celebrated for entirely different reasons than the ones you’re thinking of

#thebigmeat

1,257 Tweets

-

Yuri Plisetsky

@yuriplisetsky

Gold medallist Russian figure skater. Otabek Altin’s boyfriend. Size queen.

St Petersburg

Joined March 2014

Born March 1

-

Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 10m ago

@yuriplisetsky YOU UPDATED YOUR BIO AND I’M YELLING

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 10m ago

Replying to @phichit_chu

I was just showing who I am

Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 8m ago

This whole thing is making my day #yurisizequeen @otabekaltin so how well does he take it?

Otabek Altin @otabekaltin · 8m ago

Now that would be telling ;)

Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 7m ago

Is that code for “I’ve never had anyone take it so well before”?

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5m ago

Why must I be exposed in this way

Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 4m ago

You exposed yourself

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 2m ago

…true

-

Yuri: I’m never drinking with you again.

Mila: Yeah, whatever you say

Mila: I will get you drunk again and get you to spill your secrets all over Twitter

Yuri: NEVER

Yuri: NOT HAPPENING

Mila: Sure, keep telling yourself that

Mila: So, you want to have a few drinks next Friday?

Yuri: …

Yuri: Fine. I’m in.

-

Yuri’s been back at his apartment for a few hours, doing nothing more than curling up on the couch and watching Netflix and contemplating if he can stomach food yet when the doorbell rings. He stares at the door for a few moments, confused, because he no one’s told him they’re coming around. Maybe he left something at Mila’s and she’s decided to drop it off when running errands or something. Sighing, he pauses Netflix, drags himself off the couch and shuffles to the door, his blanket wrapped round his shoulders like a cape.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Yuri demands when he opens the door and sees Otabek of all people standing there. “You decided to just hop on the next plane to St Petersburg or something?”

“Um, yeah,” Otabek mumbles, brushing a hand through his hair as a faint blush spreads across his cheeks. With his other hand, he holds up a bag from the local convenience store. “I also got food. Wanted to make sure you were actually going to eat something today.”

Through the thin white plastic of the bag, Yuri spots a familiar label. “You got me Pringles.” They’re one of his favourite foods that he’s not really supposed to eat when he’s training, but they’re also what he really wants right now.

Otabek grins. “I did.”

“Have I told you how much I love you recently?” Yuri asks, making a grab for the bag. Looking like a kid at Christmas, he takes the lid off the Pringles and tears at the paper/foil one, before taking several crisps out of the tube and putting them all into his mouth at once.

“Well, you’ve told the world about how much you love my dick, but apart from that, no, I don’t think so.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Yuri says through a mouthful of crisps, rolling his eyes. “Come on, get in here.”

-

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 13m ago

Look who flew all the way from Almaty just to be here! ♥♥ pic.twitter.com/36uhghefh5

Otabek Altin @otabekatlin · 12m ago

Replying to Yuri Plisetsky

It’s good to be back. ♥♥

Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 10m ago

I bet it is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 10m ago

Oh yes ;)

[commander-yinello]

The Matchmakers - Part 12

It's been 80 years...... Finally a new chapter! So sorry for the wait, JuZen week and other things have absolutely swarmed us, but finally we can get back on track! <3 I hope you enjoy, as always @setthestarsxnfire and I worked on this part!

Jumin Han: Yoosung, can I ask a favor of you?

Yoosung★: Sure, what is it?

ZEN: Don’t do it Yoosung, he will probably try to put you in debt

Jumin Han: STFU Zen. Jumin Han: I have to travel to Singapore for a business meeting. Jumin Han: Could you take care of Elizabeth the 3rd for two days?

ZEN: I take it back, accept the offer and chuck that furball out of a window

Jumin Han: Were it not for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.

V: Jumin!

MC: Please stop >.<

Jaehee Kang: ;;;;;

Yoosung★: Sure, if you guys stop fighting

Jumin Han: Thank you, and no, Zen deserves to be put in his place.

ZEN: D:< God I hate you!!

Jumin Han: You can stay in the penthouse for the time being. Jumin Han: Feel free to bring someone along, let it not be said I cannot be generous. Jumin Han: Not Seven.

707: Oh come on!!!

Jumin Han: Oh, and the alarm can be kind of tricky so be wary of that.

Yoosung★: Ah okay ;; I think I know who can help

Jumin Han: Good, I’ll be off then.

- Jumin Han has logged out -

ZEN: FUCK this dude I’m so mad I’m leaving

- ZEN has logged out -

- Private Mode activated -

V: Thanks Saeran, I was just about to ask

MC: Their fighting is killing me x.x

Saeran: I really think we should wait with a new plan until their feud ends

Jaehee Kang: I’m not sure I agree.

Yoosung★: While you guys think this out, I’m gonna prepare for the penthouse

707: Are you going to bring someone (pick me! I need to see Elly)

Saeran: Idiot brother =.=

Yoosung★: Haha, well…

***

- Private Messaging; Jumin Han, ZEN -

ZEN: Wow I can’t believe you’d trust Elizabeth and your penthouse to two young men just for our plan

Jumin Han: Yoosung and Saeran are good kids, I trust them. Jumin Han: Plus I have security cameras in the living room, we can spy on them

ZEN: There’s the babe I know <3

Jumin Han: It still feels weird when you call me that. Jumin Han: I like it.

ZEN: Good ZEN: I will miss you, you know

Jumin Han: Let me bring you on a trip next time.

ZEN: Only if I pay my half

Jumin Han: Always stubborn but the earnesty suits you. Jumin Han: I promise to call on this Skype app you recommended and we can watch those two hopefully get together

ZEN: Excellent, we can both see how I will win the bet

Jumin Han: You mean how I will win. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ZEN: omg and here I thought only Seven used that emoji

***

“All we have to do is make sure the cat is fed, not thirsty and that she doesn’t go out, right?” He asked, watching as Yoosung placed down the huge bag of expensive cat food next to Elizabeth’s bowl.

Saeran still couldn’t believe the cat’s bowl was made of crystal, and it had fucking diamonds like decoration. While he ate in plastic plates most of the times.

“Yeah, and we have to keep her happy. Pets tend to get nostalgic without their owner around, and sometimes they refuse to eat as often as they need to.” Yoosung said, crouching down to pet the white cat as she ate her food. “Oh, and I almost forgot,” Saeran heard him mutter, and then he and Yoosung were staring into each other’s eyes. “Thank you for agreeing to come with me, I honestly didn’t feel like asking anyone else.”

The redhead couldn’t help but feel happy about that, it was nice to have someone feel that way about him. And no, there was no blush covering his cheeks nor was there a warm feeling spreading in his chest and stomach, hell no.

Although he had to admit that he was surprised when Yoosung had texted him right after lover boy number one had asked him to watch over the cat. It made him both nervous and happy to know that the blonde wanted him for company, and not only because the alarm of the penthouse was difficult to deal with.

He quickly stopped thinking about that to answer Yoosung, with a small smile on his face. “Sure, I like spending time with you. And the cat.” The last thing came out quickly, and perhaps a little bit forced, but Yoosung didn’t seem to notice, and Saeran was incredibly glad about that.

“I like spending time with you too! It’s nice, and you’re the only friend I have that plays videogames without cheating. Saeyoung installed multiple codes in LOLOL and that’s probably why he’s number one in the server.” Yoosung looked so upset and cute, it became impossible for Saeran not to laugh.

Wait.

Did he just think Yoosung was cute?

He looked back at the blonde, who was now scratching under the cat’s neck and sweet talking to her.

Well, it isn’t a lie.

After that, Yoosung and he spent hours playing LOLOL, petting Elizabeth when she approached them to sit in either one of their laps. It was nice, and he was glad that the cat liked him. The whole day consisted in them playing video games together, watching movies, and once or twice they went out to the balcony to look around, although they made sure to close the door. Jumin would scream at them if Elizabeth was ever out there.

Saeran would lie later, but he caught himself staring at Yoosung more than once.

He just couldn’t take his eyes off the blonde. He couldn’t look away from how the boy acted around him, around the cat, while they played LOLOL, and he was a bit more wild when he played video games, which was both hilarious and scary. Saeran must be losing his mind, because he kept thinking that everything Yoosung did was adorable, and he just loved to stare when the blonde smiled. It was like seeing the a little sun, warm and bright.

… It was incredibly hard to admit it.

But he liked Yoosung Kim, and not just as a friend.

He went to sleep that night thinking over and over just how soft Yoosung’s hair would feel under his hand. And how tender the blond’s lips looked.

Saeran had issues.

***

The next morning Yoosung woke up early. Dazed, and still sleepy enough to get scared for a minute when he realized he wasn't in his room.

After that he had gotten ready and went to have breakfast with an even more sleepy yet cute Saeran.

They decided to binge watch movies after that. And that's where they were currently.

The boy next to him shifted nervously in the couch, and Yoosung hoped nothing wrong was going on with Saeran, that would be worrying. He didn’t want Saeran to be upset in any kind of way, because it made him upset as well. And the game addict knew perfectly well why that was, he wasn’t dumb.

He had fallen in love with Saeran Choi.

But, let’s be honest, how couldn’t he? The redhead was always there for him, like the time, a week ago when they were doing the project with the website. Yoosung could have sworn they were going to kiss, but he was glad they didn’t, it would have been awkward.

At least at that moment... right now? The blonde wasn’t so sure. But then he started to remember all the things he had gone through with Saeran, from meeting each other, to that awkward coffee meeting with Zen, and the latest night they had spent texting each other until one of them fell asleep. It was sweet, the kind of thing you would expect two people that loved each other.

Oh boy, Yoosung definitely wanted that to happen, but not if Saeran didn't.

… He could risk it all now, or close his mouth for good. Well, he was a gamer, and he knew that you had to be brave if you ever wanted good things to you. Or at least that’s what he got from the Legend Of Zelda.

The final credits from Pirates of the Caribbean started to roll on the screen, and Saeran turned to him. Yoosung expected the blush creeping up his cheeks even before he felt it.

“I have something to tell you.” They both said at the same time, and their eyes widened in surprise at that. Yoosung ignored how his heart was pounding hard on his chest because of that.

“Go ahead.” Saeran mumbled, shrugging.

“No, no, you first.” He insisted, placing his hand in from of him and shaking them as if to prove his point.

“Yoosung.” Holy shit, it made his stomach twist when the boy said his name.

“Saeran.” Yoosung said, mimicking Saeran’s tone, and even tried to do the damos death glare, which of course, didn't work. It actually got the redhead to chuckle.

“You know what, Yoosung? Why don't we do it at the same time?” The older boy in front of him said, and he nodded. The redhead noticed and opened his litunagain to speak. “On the count of three.”

They both took deep breaths.

“One… Two… Three.”

“I love you.”

The two young adults had said that at the same time, and both of them seemed equally surprised by what the other had admitted. Saeran was thinking it was all too good to be true, and Yoosung was incredibly surprised yet joyous. But both boy’s hearts were beating hard on their chests.

Saeran reacted first, looking happy yet puzzled. “My ears must be betraying me but did you say the L word?”

Yoosung laughed, a huge smile on his lips. “I should be asking you that. You're not the type to say those kind of things.”

Saeran blushed and turned away, he covered his mouth with the back of his hand, they both knew Yoosung was right. “Only around you.” The redhead whispered, smirking.

That made Yoosung’s stomach flip like a pancake thrown off from the frying pan. “So, does that make us boyfriends? A couple?”

Saeran hummed, shifting on the couch so that his legs pointing at Yoosung, and he opened them wide. He did the same with his arms. “Come here.”

Yoosung wasted no time in going over there and snuggling around Saeran’s chest. They had done that before, when they used to watch horror movies with Saeyoung, but right now, it was special.

The redhead laughed a little, and when Yoosung asked, he explained that he had thought about running his hands through the blonde’s hair the last night.

The blonde blushed, but still shifted so that his fr- boyfriend’s hand was on top of his head.

They decided to continue their movie session by watching Avengers, a film they both loved.

***

“DAMN IT!” Zen burst out, slamming his fists down on the couch while on the other side of his screen Jumin chuckled.

“I guess we both won.”

“Both lost, you mean.” The actor crossed his arms, the laptop on his lap nearly falling off. Jumin on the skype call simply shrugged, the office background emphasizing his black suit.

It was nice of the executive to call him on his break. Zen sneakily wondered if Jumin had been watching the CCTV of his penthouse’s living room constantly, seeing as he called Zen moments before Yoosung and Saeran confessed, or if it had been a coincidence. He put his money on the former - he had been doing the same thing after all.

Jumin was hardly upset, instead hastily typing away on his own laptop. The soft pling caught Zen’s attention and he took a look at the Skype chatbox, shocked to find a link of an agenda there, with a date booked for the end of the week and his name and a doctor’s name in full written below.

“You already booked an appointment for me? Jumin, what the hell?” The actor bristled. How arrogant did Jumin have to be to think he would have won anyway?

The executive actually looked bashful. “I got a bit too excited and jumped the gun. I promise, I would have cancelled, had you won.”

Zen relaxed a little. Jumin did seem earnest. He brushed a hand through his silver hair. “...I suppose even if you lost, I would have still gone to the doctor.” Really, he didn’t hate cats, it was just hard to be around them and back when he thought he disliked Jumin, he couldn’t have cared less. But now he wanted to be closer to Jumin… And the way Jumin’s eyes lit up from the idea of Elizabeth and him together made his heart beat a million times a minute.

The wide smile on the raven-haired man gave him the same feeling, his face warming up from the handsome sight. “And you need to start brushing up on your cooking skills.” He winked, making Jumin tug at his tie. Zen loved it when Jumin did that because of him.

“Will you teach me how to make commoner pancakes?” Jumin touched the screen, as if he were touching Zen and it made the actor miss him even more.

“All the commoner food.” He promised, returning the gesture. Jumin would be back tomorrow, they could already get started.

After a bit of sassy flirting, Jumin announced he had to get back to work. Zen took a peek at the corner of his screen where the CCTV happily displayed the new couple watching their movie, which got him wondering what was going to happen next.

“So now that Yoosung and Saeran are settled, should we tell the RFA about us?”

“No, not yet. I am pretty sure they will try to hide it, shy as they are. Plus I think it’s time we helped my assistant realize her feelings for a certain newcomer of the RFA.”

[letsplaypattoncake]

Comfort the Heart <3

Title- Comfort the Heart Ship- Moxiety (can be platonic) WN- Panic attacks, slight angst (Follow me on Archive of Our Own @ YourAverageBystander. Yes, I'm self-plugging. Stfu.) --- Patton held the counter. "Agh.." His vice-like grip only tightened as the feelings got worse. They hit all at once. Happiness. Sadness. Relief. Guilt. Stress. Fear. Passion. Innocence. Confusion. "Agghhh..." Pain. Struggle. Jealousy. Joy. Depression. Tension. Longing. Anger. "..Aghh!.. Oh G-God.. Ahh..." Each emotion banging at his soul, his insides filled with everything. Too much. It was too much. "Hel.. help!.. Oh God Oh G--" He didn't finish his sentence. It was overwhelming. He needed to be happy. He needed to be sad. He needed to be inspiring. He needed to be broken. He needed to help those around him. The personalities around him weren't focused on being happy, and if he wasn't happy for them, who would be? And Thomas. He had to be strong, for Thomas. He was the heart. He held everything. Too much of everything. And he was breaking. "What's taking so long in there?" Princey' voice echoed through Morality's head. The latter cleared the tears from under his swollen eyes, and on response, the horrid feelings inside dissolved. "Heheh, sorry kiddo! Couldn't reach the cookie jar!" Patton called back, grabbing a cookie from it's container. He plastered his cheesy half-smirk on his cheeks, walking back out to the other persona's. "You were always the least heightened of us," Logic chuckled, not breaking his eyes from his book, 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. "We're all like, the same size," Anxiety raised an eyebrow, staring at Morality with clear disbelief. "Well, I've struggled to reach that damned cookie jar in the past too. I'm with Patton on this one," Princey commented. "Heh, thanks Roman. So what movie are you guys planning on watching?" Morality asked, changing the subject as he joined the other three on the couch. Roman scooted over, patting his back. "Well, I was all for a Pixar film, but SourFace over here wouldn't let me watch Inside Out. For some reason." Anxiety quickly sent Patton a look of 'he's not ready for that shit'. "So, we decided on The Nightmare Before Christmas, because we all love that movie." "Tim Burton's style was under appreciated," Logan mumbled absent-mindedly. "Sounds great," Morality nodded, voice thin and faker than usual. Princey grabbed the Netflix remote and played the show. Logic kept reading his novel, occasionally looking up and analyzing the setting on screen. Princey was completely immersed, sometimes unconsciously mouthing the words before the characters said them. Anxiety didn't seem interested in anything. He switched from studying his hand, playing with his fringe; everything but the television. He kept looking at Patton. Virgil was watching him when he thought the moral persona wasn't aware. It was unnerving Morality, feeling as though Anxiety could see through the walls he had put up, the lies he was constantly spitting. Just from the tiny looks across the sofa. Patton payed attention the TV, looking as interested as he could without being too showy. He hissed under his breath when it started coming back. A huge pang at his heart left him breathless. You're happy now. You're sad now. You're angry now. You're confused now. You're all of these things, now. All at once. You're Thomas' deepest emotions, feelings. You hold all of his darkest tortures he's encountered in the past, you keep them away so nobody has to think about them. You're the reason for all of Thomas' problems. You're the goddamn hormones that keep Thomas from being perfect. You're guilty now. You're innocent now. You're oblivious now. Thomas needs you to live. Thomas loves you. They love you. They hate you. They need you. They fear you. They neglect you. "Heya, Pat. Can I talk to you quick?" They forget about you. They don't need you. They're better off without you. "Pat? Patton?" Anxiety' hand waved across his view. "Uhh, sorry Champ! Just got into the movie, is all," Morality easily lied. The words left his mouth like water. So simple, yet they fooled everyone. "Mm. Sure. Come here, Morality," Anxiety repeated, standing up from the couch. "Move your emo butt! I can't see the show! This is the best part!" Princey whined, contorting his body in the weirdest way to see behind Anxiety's torso. Virgil rolled his eyes and purposefully stepped to the left, covering the TV more. "Curses! Let us watch Danny Elfman wallow in his misfortunes!" Princey begged. Finally, Patton stood and followed Anxiety out, resulting in a relieved sigh from Roman. Virgil sat down at a kitchen table, pulling another out for Morality. "What's wrong?" Anxiety said as soon as he sat. "What do you mean, what's wrong?" "Don't play dumb with me, Pat. All day you've had the same look. The disconnected, suffering look that I get when I'm in pain or having a panic attack. What's happening to you?" "I'm fine." The watery lies had changed. The lie was thick. Obviously untrue. Filled with pain, annoyance. Venomous. "Patton. If you're gonna tell anyone, it's going to be me. I'm the most realistic. I'm the most experienced. I won't tell anyone. You know that," Anxiety cooed in a way that was almost.. comforting. "Why?" "Because I've been where you are. Hiding my feelings. Struggling inside, all alone. And it sucks." Virgil looked away. "Comforting isn't my forté. Neither is empathizing. But you're.. cool, okay? So I just want you to be back to how you were before today." Patton sighed. No hiding it now. "Thomas is hurting me." "How?" "He's been at home for the past.. month?.. Doing everything online. Rare phone-calls. Rare videos. And so many things are happening to him that he's dealing with on his own. He has a faster schedule. More responsibilities," Patton trailed off, tears welling in his eyes. "Go on," Anxiety allowed, rubbing circles on his shoulder. Morality began to cry, but his outburst was accompanied by a masochistic smile. "I.. I'm so selfish. You all do the work. Logic deals with basically everything. Roman keeps enthusiasm in the things Thomas does. You keep Thomas safe and on time. And me? I hide his feelings. He can't be dealing with these emotions -he needs his priorities on top-, so I get stuck with them. ALL of them. And now I'm just holding everyone back by trying to help.." Patton looked into the distance, laughter boiling in his throat and unnaturally passing through his lips. This is so funny! This is so horrific. This is enjoyable! This is terrible. Another bang at his heart as a new gush of emotions rose. Love. Forgetfulness. Sincerity. Surprise. Trust. Terror. "AGghh... ohmyGodohmyGoddd..." He cradled his head, rubbing his temples. "Shh. You're okay, Morality," Anxiety whispered, sliding off his chair and placing his hands on Patton's forearms. Patton stood up, then collapsed on the floor, followed by Virgil holding him tightly. "What's it feel like?" "Horri--" He cut himself off with a coughing fit, shivering in the warm arms. "Horrible. It feels d-disgusting." "Am I helping?" Anxiety asked, looking into his glasses, which were stained from the tears rapidly coating them. Patton hesitated, not sure what to say. "I.. don't know." Anxiety pushed the bangs out of his eyes, unsatisfied with what he was doing. "This isn't a normal panic attack, right?" This time, Morality didn't pause to answer, "No. No it's not. It's n-not just stress. It's everything." The darker nodded. "You said that it was because Thomas wasn't letting out his feelings enough. If we get him someone to talk to, will this stop happening to you?" "It should. I th-think," Morality whimpered, letting out a tiny, genuine smile. "I'll tell him to do that," Anxiety promised, interlocking his fingers with the other personality's. "For now, just breathe. Focus on your own feelings, not Thomas'. You're happy. You're loved." Morality slowly stood up, Anxiety supporting him. "I didn't know you could be so corny. I don't get to see that side of you often," Morality giggled, some of his humor returning as the pain vanished. "I don't get to see that side of you often," Anxiety pointed out. "I suppose you're right," the other shrugged, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "Thank you, Virgil." "Don't mention it, Patton," Virgil returned, smirking. Patton laughed. "Come on, we have to go finish watching a skeleton dress as Santa and traumatize children with gifts. Bring a few cookies too. We definitely deserve some."

[emhoardsbooks]

about time

James uses the hidden messages in spotify playlists craze to tell Lily how he feels. AO3

A/N: written for @emmelinevvance , happy birthday fam | listen to To: Lily and To: James

Peter renamed the group chat to Sirius owes me a tenner.

Sirius renamed the group chat to Eff You Pete I’m Poor

Peter renamed the group chat to You’re the richest person who’s had to do nothing for it I know.

Sirius renamed the group chat to no that’s jim

James: can we just agree that Sirius needs to be paid and then address the important matter here

Peter: *I* need to be paid.

James: right, whatever

James sent a link

Remus: what the hell is this I thought you hated buzzfeed

James: i do but look at this

Peter: people making playlists that spell out a message?

James: it’s brilliant

Sirius: you *have* always been a mixtape guy

Remus: yeah remember when he made us actual mixtapes last year and we all he to go to pete’s cause he’s the only one with a cassette player still

Peter: not my fault james and i are the only cultured ones

Sirius: nah mate you’re just too sentimental to throw out your bloody cassettes from when you were like 5

James: A N Y W A Y

James: im gonna make one for lily

Remus renamed the group chat to This Is Going To End Badly

James: lads I’m serious!

Sirius: last time i checked that was me

Peter: stfu

Remus: didn’t you and lily just start being friends? are you sure you wanna risk that?

James: i can feel something is different between us… i think it’s time

Sirius renamed the group chat to *Rafiki voice* It Is Time

James: stfu

----

James opened Spotify and stared at the screen for a good three minutes before creating a new playlist. In the name slot he typed, “To: Lily.”

And then he vigorously back spaced and retyped, “Dear Lily.” He did this four more times before settling on what he had written originally. He already felt like he was making a fool of himself and he hadn’t even sent her the playlist yet. Maybe he should just make her a physical mixtape.

But no. Because then he’d have to do it in person and she’d need to borrow his cassette player- or worse- Peter’s. That would be bloody awkward.

He leaned back in his chair and looked thoughtfully at the blank playlist on his screen. James knew he was supposed to create a message out of the songs, but what did he want to say? There were so many things.

I love the way you brush my hair out of my face for me when I’m cooking.

I love the way you get a little dimple in your right cheek when you smile.

I love the way you wear green because you know it bring out your eyes.

I love your eyes.

I love your kindness.

I love your wit.

I love you.

That was what he wanted to say. How was he going to say all that in one playlist? Remus was right, this was going to end badly. It was doomed. He was doomed. His relationship with Lily was doomed and he should quit while he was ahead. James tilted his head back and closed his eyes. Maybe if he just rested for a while, an idea would come to him.

----

Remus: you have to talk to james

Lily: what’s wrong with him now?

Remus: I like how you say “now” as if there’s always something wrong with him

Remus: cause you’re right

Remus: but this time he has this insane idea in mind and he’s having no luck pulling it off. talking to you calms him down so maybe it’d help

Lily: hmm

Lily: well since you said i’m right, i *guess* i can talk to him

Remus: you’re the best lily

Lily: you can stop flattering me I already agreed to do it

----

The truth was, Lily would agree to talk to James any time and she knew that Remus knew she would. As she let herself into their flat with the key they had given her a few months ago, she thought about when that had developed. When exactly had she been willing, eager even, to talk to James Potter?

Maybe when he had found her crying in the hall after a particularly bad encounter with Severus, and brought her into his flat and fed her brownies. Maybe it had been when he piggy backed her to the health center on campus after she twisted her ankle trying to skateboard faster than Sirius and hadn’t even complained when the pain made her squeeze his fingers purple. Or maybe it had been when he told jokes and laughed so hard that it felt like the coldness of winter was melting away.

However it happened, friendship had finally blossomed between them and Lily found she liked it quite a lot. She liked James quite a lot.

The door to his room was open and he was sprawled out on his bed with his arm flung over his face. Ever the dramatic one, this boy, she thought as she lightly knocked on the door frame. He slowly peeled his arm away from his eyes and when he saw her he sat up faster than she’d ever seen him do. It was adorable and a little pang of warmth blossomed and spread from her stomach to her chest.

Shit.

“Don’t get up on my account,” she teased as she crossed the room and sat next to him on the bed.

“Of course I’m getting up for you, you’re our guest,” he muttered. Lily could tell he had been dozing. His glasses were askew and his voice was gravelly.

“Oh shut up.”

Before she knew why she was doing it she was pushing him back down on the bed and nestling herself into his side. There was a stunned expression on his face and she could see the sides of his neck darkening. Hers was too, so maybe it was a good sign. Maybe he felt flustered and nervous and like butterflies were beating drums in his stomach too. She reached up and brushed his hair away from his face. He sucked in a little breath that made her head spin.

“Remus told me you have something on your mind,” she said quietly. “Just rest for now.”

They fell asleep like that. Later, Sirius came to ask them if they wanted to order Chinese or pizza for dinner. When he saw them, Lily curled into James and James with the most content, peaceful expression on his face he’d seen in years, Sirius quietly shut the door and let them be.

----

Peter: jim is in love

Sirius renamed the group chat to D U H

Remus: you twats better leave him alone

Remus: don’t fuck it up for him

Sirius: language, remus

Remus: I hate you

Remus: james? james just ignore them ok?

Peter: we’ll be on our best behavior, promise

Sirius: we won’t scare evans away

Sirius: although *you* haven’t done so already so i don’t know how we could

Remus: sirius

Sirius: what!?

Sirius: he’s not even reading our messages anyway!

Peter: yeah he’s too busy trying to make that bloody playlist

Remus: … you do have a point

Remus renamed the group chat to Just Tell Her How You Feel

----

Lily: did I do something? u guys haven’t been talking to me much this week

Lily: especially james..

Sirius: you’ve done a lot of things evans

Sirius: that time you stole remus’ bike

Sirius: that time you told mcgonagall that *i* put the goat in the library when it was clearly you and marlene

Sirius: that time you punched pete for winning a bet fair and square

Sirius: that time you bewitched our jamesy into falling madly in love with you

Lily: …..

Lily: come again?

Sirius: that time you told mcgonagall that *i* put the goat in the library when it was clearly you and marlene

Lily: THE PART ABOUT JAMES YOU SHIT HEAD

Sirius: oh yeah

Sirius: well he’s obviously in love with you despite trying really hard to just be a nice friend

Sirius: because you wanted to J U S T be friends and he all he wants is to not cross the line and to make you happy by giving what you want

Sirius: but no you had to be all charming and make him love you anyway

Sirius: i swear to god if you break his heart…

Sirius: evans are you listening

Lily: yeah sirius

Lily: I’m listening

----

James finished the playlist at one in the morning. Ever since that day when Lily had shown up, and calmed him down without knowing why she had to, he had been renewed with an intense urge to finish what he had started. He had to tell her. He couldn’t keep seeing her like this- soft, warm, and loving- if he wasn’t going to tell her how he felt.

And maybe, if she didn’t feel the same way, she’d pull away. That’d be for the best really. Then he could stop pining after her. Stop wishing that every little brush of her hands could lead to more. Stop wishing that he could whisper sweet things to her instead of plots to slip pink hair dye into Peter’s shampoo. Maybe he’d even stop loving her.

He never would.

----

She shouldn’t have been up so late. She should have been catching up on her sleep after finally submitting her final university paper ever. But Marlene had wanted to go out and celebrate so Lily had gone too and now they were finally staggering back into their flat at nearly two in the morning.

Lily wondered if they could hear her. Could James, whose room was directly below their lounge, hear her stumbling to the couch and flopping onto it? Sometimes she hated how close their flat was. She hated being only feet away from him but still an entire floor apart. She never wanted to be apart from him.

Lily heard her phone ping and considered ignoring the message. Whoever it was, they could wait until the morning. But she was too curious, as usual, and checked the screen anyway.

James sent a link

She clicked it and it opened Spotify. The name of the playlist immediately caught her eye. To: Lily.

As she skimmed the songs it took a moment for her drink befuddled brain to realize the message hidden in the titles. But once she saw it, it was like she sobered up immediately and her heart began beating wildly in her chest. And even though it was now half past two and she should have been sleeping, Lily sat in her lounge and listened to the playlist James sent her.

She cried as she listened to it. She cried because Sirius had been right and this wonderful, sweet man really did love her. She cried because she realized that all along she had loved him too.

Below her, James tossed and turned in bed, trying to sleep even though the nerves were eating him alive and he needed to know what she thought.

----

Lily sent a link

The notification was the first thing James saw when he checked his phone in the morning. He had finally fallen asleep, if only for a few hours. He immediately swiped his phone open and clicked the link, his heart pounding in his chest as he did. It led him to a Spotify playlist.

To: James.

He was just processing the message in the song titles when there was a knock on his door.

“Come in,” he said. He was well aware of how hoarse he sounded but it felt like his heart was in his throat so who could blame him really.

“James.”

He looked up and Lily was there. She looked like she had gotten even less sleep than he had. He really shouldn’t have sent her the playlist in the middle of the night like that but he wasn’t able to wait any longer. He had to know.

And now he did.

By the time he had untangled himself from his blankets and gotten out of bed, she had crossed the room and was standing in front of him. She slowly raised her hands and rested them on his shoulders. He had always thought about this moment. Being close enough to count the freckles on her nose, she the shades of green in her eyes, feel her breath on his face. How far he would have to lean down to reach her lips.

“Lily I’m sorry if it was forward of me,” he started but stopped when she smiled and rolled her eyes at him. There was that little dimple and the crinkles in corners of her eyes. When Lily smiled like that, James knew everything was going to be right.

So he kissed her.

----

Remus renamed the group chat to james and lily are A Thing™

Peter: took long enough

Sirius: how do you know before me

Remus: my room is next to james’

Sirius: so?

Peter: oooooo

Sirius: pete gets it before me that’s honestly offensive..

Sirius: oh

Remus: yep

James: boys it’s lily

James: stop texting james he’s busy ;)

Peter: jfc

Sirius: i can’t believe we *wanted* this to happen

Remus: I can

Sirius renamed the group chat to Great now Remus has starry eyes.

Remus renamed the group chat to stfu Sirius

Sirius renamed the group chat to M A K E ME

Remus: …..

Remus: ok

Sirius: huhkugab.,,

Peter: ! ! !

Peter: JAMES

James: you guys lily said to leave me a l o n e

Peter: k

Peter: just thought you’d like to know remus just marched up to sirius, pushed him up against the fridge and started snogging him

James: fuCK that’s stainless steel those prats better get off my kitchen applian c es or e lse

----

Lily reached over and slowly took James’ phone from his hand. After reading the messages that had his mouth hanging open in shock she just laughed.

“It’s about time,” she said. James looked at her. His hair was tousled and his glasses had been knocked nearly off. She loved the soft way he gazed at her. The way he made it seem like she was the brightest, most wonderful thing in the room and that he was as happy as can be just watching her.

“Yeah,” he said. “It is.”

He kissed her again and Lily melted into his arms.

[3one3]

Okay Sunday update tyme. 

There may or may not have been a mini war over making my coffee this morning. I'm not really sure. All I know is the one I got was made by the Babysitter and not very good. 

Then there was a baby. This nice couple that comes in often arrived with their maybe 16 mo son, who the Babysitter always holds and stuff. He lets him play with the touch-screen. Some people just really love babies. They see a baby and they get heart eyes and are like oo a baby how ~cute~ lemme go see it! I’m not one of them. I’m mostly afraid of and/or grossed out by babies. The Pacifier definitely got the baby gene. He was DELIGHTED by the baby. Instant, yuge smile. He went over to see him, and tickled his tummy and stuff, and I was like wow, he’s more interested in touching a baby than me, that hurts. Way to cut me deep. It was still really cute to see him be delighted by the baby tho. I def got THAT gene. The “guys being cute with kids directly affects ovaries” gene. 

Then the piña colada party started. They're not on the menu. I guess someone bought a big bottle of Cooco Real, the coconut cream stuff that makes piña coladas delicious at 900 calories per sip, but not really because it’s not as good as the thick stuff that comes in a can. They also don't have anything else blended on the menu but they do have a blender. Out comes this blender. The Pacifier and the Brother are practically giddy about this, and are verifying with the Babysitter what to put in it. He takes over anyway. Pacifier suggests using Malibu coconut rum and Babysitter is like no you use the regular clear rum rawr. They're actually both wrong. You should use a good quality white rum, yeah, but you should also use a really good dark rum. But that's if you have good quality coconut cream, which they didn't. It should have coconut milk too, and some lime, but I didn’t want to lecture the bartenders on how to bartend, ya know? Just cause I’ve been a piña colada enthusiast since age 6 doesn’t mean I’m an authority.  

Babysitter makes the first batch and tries to pour some in this little coupe glass which is all wrong for that. How do you put a full size straw in a coupe glass? You don't. Anyway. It also won't pour. It's too solid. Like sorbet. I was like "it's supposed to be a liquid, not a dessert". Pacifier chuckles at this and I'm like oooo score. Pacifier goes and gets a cherry for it and everything and they taste some and give it to me to taste, and they both said it's not sweet enough, and I said IT NEEDS MALIBU, and the Pacifier is like IT NEEDS MALIBU, and it becomes clear at this point that the Babysitter has never had Malibu and doesn't know its awesomeness. Side note: my favorite whatever drink is Malibu and pineapple juice. I didn't even know they had Malibu at this bar until last week because no one uses it for anything but the Pacifier and I happened to see him grab it from below the bar and pour some. I always wondered why there is none on the shelf with everything else. Anyway. Moving on. 

A second batch is made, with Malibu, and offered around to everyone to try. It's much better. Babysitter still can't pour it tho and Pacifier and I are watching him try and I look at him and shake my head and he starts cracking up and I melt inside. Making someone you want to be friends with laugh with you like a normal reason rather than awkwardly laugh for no apparent reason every time you talk to him is just the best. They decide it can go on the menu for the day. I told the Babysitter not to serve it in that stupid glass but he insisted. He said hey could use the cocktail straws. I was like wtf how can you sip an already too thick piña colada through a fucking cocktail straw??? And he just laughed. Another guy decided the solution was to just cut the regular straws in half 🤷🏼‍♀️

I still had the whole first example to drink myself, plus some of the new and improved one. I really don't drink anymore, so that was enough to count as liquid courage I guess. It brightened by whole day. I was in a good mood. I decided it was to be a day of progress on the communication front. But then naturally the place got crazy busy and the Pacifier was running around at Mach V doing his job. I seriously can’t bring myself to bother him when he’s busy.

I waited until things calmed down considerably and did my standard I'm-about-to-be-annoying-but-at-least-I'm-sweet-about-it way of saying his name (this has gotten males of all age and association to do things for me forever) as he was walking behind me, and he leaned in beside me and said "yes? ma'am" and I wanted to end myself right then and there. You can't ask a girl to hang out one weekend and then call her ma'am the next. It's bloody criminal. I decided it wasn't serious tho. He called the Babysitter sir earlier. I call my officemate ma'am all the time, non-seriously, like when she brings my trash can in from the hallway and I say thank you, ma’am. But anyway it ruined the whole plan it took me an hour to decide on. I was going to summon him and then be like "you know what I want *wink wink*" bc obvi I wanted a coffee and he would know that. Ma'am threw me off tho. And then he didn't give me a chance to ask a question anyway. He asked me if I wanted another one and I was like yesssss pleaaaaase. It was delicious and I was thankful. I wanted to tell him that he’s my favorite person on the planet on saturdays and sundays and that when I work those mornings the only reason I get out of bed is that I know I get to have that cappuccino after. He’s too quick. Or I’m too slow. Or something.

Now here's where shit gets cray. One of my clients and I have been looking at this horse for a while. We checked him out years ago when he had a different owner, and liked him but not for the price. Now his current owners put him up for private auction over the weekend and we were like, well if we can get him for X then it’s a no brainer and if we can get him for Y it would probably be worth it, but no more, and I did the homework on the other people I knew might be interested  and so I thought it was possible that we could get him for that. But we weren't fully sold on him. I usually feel strongly one way or another on whether to get a horse, particularly at a certain price point. I was like, we could do this, and it would be great, or we could not do it, and I probably won't  kick myself over it tomorrow. 

With 90 mins left on the sale clock, and an "it's up to you" order from the client, which I had been waiting for for most of the day, I decide that the best way to decide is to let the Pacifier choose 😂 I had a good reason though! The horse's name is one letter off being Cappuccino! It's a sign! I'll show him the video of the horse on my phone and ask him what I should do. It’s genius. I summon the Pacifier, who had to be wondering just how much cappuccino I can drink in one day, since that's all I ever summon him for. I immediately panic that the friend I was texting literally *about him* and practically nothing else and who hadn't answered me in over an hour would decide that was the right time to reply, and that she'd say something totally incriminating exactly as he was looking at my phone. It was too late to tell her to shh tho bc he was already incoming, and I couldn't do airplane mode bc I needed wifi to show him the Video. It went like this. 

"Are you superstitious?" (I'm thinking, what if he doesn't know what that means?)

~message from friend about how the babysitter is definitely cockblocking drops down from top of screen along with two others BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE and I desperately will her to stfu~

"No. " 

"Well I'm very superstitious and I need your help. There's this horse. See the video of  the nice horse?" I held the phone so he could barely see it, just in case. "I have an hour and a half to decide if I should get it for a client and I don't know what to do. I'm fine either way. I’m totally 50/50 on it. I could flip a coin. But the horse's name is Cappuccino (it would have been too hard to explain the one letter difference and I talk really fast when I'm nervous and it gets hard for people to understand and meh whatever) and you're my cappuccino guy so I need you to tell me what to do."

"Then you should go for it!" He says, laughing. It was sort of like a comfortable laugh too, not the awkward one. 

"You think so?"

"Yeah! Go for it!" At this point I'm just loving the carefree gung ho attitude here. 

I told him okay I'm gonna do it, and I warned him that I'm blaming him if the horse ends up being terrible. He was just smiley and laughing and stuff. 

And that's how i bought a $400,000 horse on the cappuccino guy's say so. Did I mention I forgot to mention to him how much the horse costs? 🙊 He might be one of those people who thinks even competition horses are peanuts. He probably has no idea. He might not have even understood what I was saying. He could have thought I was talking about betting on the horse or something. I have no idea. He was just all for it. 

I get really high when I do big deals. Like so pumped. I called the client and said to do it. And I was like shaking and grinning and stupid. Hopefully it was the horse and not just the interaction 🤦🏼‍♀️

I left a little while after that. On the way out when he was saying bye to me I reminded him that he's in big trouble if the horse is crap, and he was all smiles. 

I find out for sure tomorrow morning if our bid was definitely accepted, but I saw no others come in after so it prob was. Lawd help me if this doesn't work out well 🙈🙈🙈

Then I went running and got sunburn bc it was earlier than I wanted to go but I was too hyped to sit still, then I saw one of the guys from the restaurant on the way to where I run, and he was on a bike share bike outside mcdonalds in work clothes but not the ones he was in earlier and I was like wtf and also please don't notice me in my terrible running outfit. 

Then I got some really upsetting texts from bf about all this 😕

Then I had some food and prepped some stuff for my lunches and then I worked out bc the high hadn't gone away yet and ya gotta use it while it's there. Haven't managed to figure out how to use it to fix the bf thing tho. 

But, consider yourself updated.