#I’m just slow at answering them lately
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ssreeder · 1 year ago
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hi again! im reading the 6th chapter of ITF right now and, ofc, im just bursting into tears, i just can't tell how much I was touched by the scenes where our beloved uncle iroh bitterly finds out about zuko, and then reunites with him in prison... that's too mUCH
but, fortunately, that's not what im talking about. because while i was reading RIA, i was listening to billy talent 🥴 again and couldn't help but notice that their track "cure for the enemy" perfectly illustrates everything that zuko and sokka were going through. that's really fucked up i know. i am both horrified and delighted by how the songs i listened to while reading fit PERFECTLY into their relationship. it already hurts me to listen to my playlist later. (PS I love your playlists, but we have slightly different tastes, however, i find this a great opportunity to show you, as an author, how your readers and fans feel!)
so... im devastated but really happy with your work. you're INCREDIBLE !!!!!
please enjoy my hurtful music taste 🥹💗
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Hiiii!!! Omg I love your taste in music! I have a few of your recs on a playlist I listen to & every time they pop up I think of you! It’s awesome you’re getting caught up!!
Yeah Iroh & Zukos reunion was an emotional one haha you know I love the dramatics haha. <3
Yes!!!! That song does really capture the RIA vibe with the boys. Thanks for always expanding my taste in music!!! Enjoy the rest of ITF!!
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leafdrake-haven · 1 year ago
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lol I can’t believe I accidentally made a perfect fanwalker for the return to Eldraine but I have barely developed her so it’s hard to know what she’s been up to during all of the recent Events™️
But I mean…. My Temur werewolf fanwalker from Eldraine that has dream magic and dream powers and goes by Fox and whose werewolf form is a werefox instead (or at least I had been considering it)
Return to Eldraine has:
enchanted sleep and nightmares/dreams as a major plot point (though I haven’t actually read the stories yet oops)
actual werefoxes in the cards???
WoTC…. Have you been looking at my fanwalkers? 👀
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jamminvroomvroom · 2 months ago
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as sick as it sounds, i loved you first. 1
LN x fem!leclerc reader
part 1 of 2 -> find part two linked HERE!
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in which you just can’t help yourself and neither can lando…
I’M BACK BITCHES!!!! hi sorry it’s been a while but we are back with what i hope is a bang lol. i’ve missed writing so much and as stressful as this was, i’m so so glad to be uploading something! i worked hard on this one and, of course, now i hate it whoops, but my girlie @lavenderlando made this possible and worth it. that’s my hype woman fr fr. N E WAY enjoy! lemme know what you think, and use some imagination for the timeline…
songs to set the vibe: i love you, i’m sorry by gracie abrams, 2hands by tate mcrae, love in the dark by adele, illicit affairs by taylor swift, think twice by suki waterhouse
warnings: 18+!! minors GO AWAY! smut, angst, fluff, kinda enemies to lovers? kinda? r is charles sister oop, miscommunication, both of them are down bad for eachother but they are also extremely dumb! breeding kink, size kink, pain kink (if u squint), unprotected p in v (don’t be silly!),
part 1: 10.3k words
1. oncoming traffic 
���hey, osc, who’s that girl hanging around leclerc? thought he was still with alex.” lando tries his best to sound nonchalant, but oscar can see through him like a freshly buffed window, the way lando clears his throat and nervously ruffles his unruly hair. 
“mate, i know you’re not the sharpest but i didn’t think you were that slow.” oscar laughs, side-eyeing the brit. he was baffled that lando was even asking. lando just shoots him a glare. “wait, you really don’t know?” lando’s glare hardens further, his eyes demanding an answer and oscar just laughs. “that’s his sister, you idiot. how have you never seen her?” 
lando didn’t know how he’d never seen her. this year had been nonstop, what with the pseudo-championship battle and the never ending media shitstorm that rained on him whenever he reared his head. he’d also learned in his years of racing never to look too closely at the women in another drivers entourage. that’s how you ended up in the wall during a race. but charles’ sister? how had he never noticed? 
“maybe i should go and introduce myself.” lando trailed off thoughtfully, his voice remaining playful. oscar snorted beside him, adjusting his racesuit. 
“ooh, yeah, send twitter into a frenzy. it’s been boring lately.” the aussie driver drawls sarcastically, successfully dodging lando’s rapidly approaching elbow to his ribs. 
“glad to know that you take pleasure in my never ending public humiliation!” lando grins maniacally, sauntering out of the garage, no longer any intention of seeking out the pretty girl in the short, black skirt. it was for the best. 
he’s passing through the pit box, immersed in a groupchat thread with max and p about a trip to portugal that he didn’t really want to go on, and bam! like the idiot oscar had just accused him of being, he slams blindly into oncoming traffic. 
oncoming traffic: the pretty girl in the short, black skirt.
“are you incapable of looking where you’re going?” your accent comes out thick, low with rage. it tickles his brain, like he’s heard it before. lando opens his mouth, like a fish out of water, closes it again pathetically. “seriously, for a pilot you have abysmal spacial awareness!” 
“sorry… what the fuck.” lando mutters. why is this woman shouting at him like she knows him? like he regularly barrels into her? 
“lando, yes?” you’ve calmed down a bit now, but you still speak through gritted teeth. 
“…yes?” he replies like he’s not so sure. 
“learn to look where you’re going.” you wrinkle your nose, composing yourself before stepping around him and strutting down the pitlane as if nothing had happened. 
lando stands there, fixed in place, watching her walk away in utter confusion. 
“smooth!” oscar calls from inside the garage, flanked by several laughing mechanics. 
“go fuck yourself!” lando’s flushed red, now, and beeline’s for the pit wall. 
he’s out of earshot when oscar says it. 
“think he just met his wife, boys.” 
-
lando is staring at the data on the screen when it hits him, will’s voice somewhere far away all of the sudden. 
the mysterious leclerc had every right to reprimand him, because she was right. he did need to learn how to look where he’s going. 
she’d told him that already, during their actual first meeting. 
-
2. the first collision 
the music was too loud, suffocating him along with the overbearing smell of cheap perfume, but the alcohol in his system and the outpouring of validation kept lando going. 
three time race winner, lando norris. 
five years of clawing back points and grabbing at podiums with two impatient hands had built up to this, to the incomparable glory of gracing that prestigious top step, and lando wasn’t about to let go of this moment just because of a pressing headache. max and pietra were waiting for him in a booth, surrounded by the rest of lando’s touring entourage. he was wracking up quite the tab, but it was all worth it. every slap on the back, seductive grin sent his way, made it worth it. 
he’s stumbling over his feet, wasted, or close to it, grinning lazily, peering through hooded eyes. the vodka cranberry in his hand is sloshing dangerously around in the glass, his careless movements propelling him towards disaster. 
lando hears the splatter of liquid, first, the scoff of disgust immediately after. long hair whips against his face as she turns, eyes wide with fury, set into a face that was never meant to look angry. he can smell vanilla, flowers. she’s an angel, turned devilish under the strobe lights, her delicate face morphing when he takes in the sight of him. 
“are you fucking serious? mon dieu!” her accent twists his tummy, as does the increasingly see-through material of her tight white dress, layers of chiffon turning transparent with the stark red liquid. it’s all over her back, running slowly down the length of her exposed thighs, sticky. lando stands there, utterly transfixed and useless. she looks like she might slap him; he kind of wants her to. “of course, just stand there. fucking pilots.” 
she mutters the last part and lando gulps. what does she know about other drivers? the implication makes his skin crawl for no reason, the idea of this nameless, mystery woman being familiar with his co-workers. he’s flushed with embarrassment for a multitude of reasons, opening his mouth just to close it again. 
“‘m sorry!” he finally calls out to her, over the music. can the dj turn that shit down? “can i buy you a drink?” she just glares at him, gesturing at her ruined dress. “or… a new dress?” lando tries again, flashing what he hopes are puppy dog eyes. 
he wants to take her back to his hotel room, lick the sweet liquid off of her frame, lap at her til she’s clean and crying. he wants to peel the stained white material off, tear it a little - it’s already ruined anyway! he can’t, though, because she’s wrinkling her nose at him, eyebrow raised, judging, and he’s awash with embarrassment all over again. the club spins and he feels nauseous. he finds max’s eyes on him, his friend stifling laughter at the tragic scene. 
she’s gone when he looks back, seems to have disappeared into a cloud of distinctly expensive perfume, and her friends are curling their lips up at him, dismissive. they don’t care who he is. he wonders if they’re redbull fans, ferrari fans, perhaps. 
he’s met with hoots of laughter as he slumps into the booth. he grabs a shot without a thought, doesn’t even register what liquor it is as it slides down his thick throat. 
“can’t believe you just did that. only you would spill a drink all over leclerc’s sister.” max teases, elbowing him playfully. 
“wha- he has a sister?” lando slurs, spluttering. 
he doesn’t remember much after that. 
youruser just posted on instagram:
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tagged: francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc
liked by francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and others.
youruser: shoutout to the guy that spilled his drink all over me!
francisca.cgomes: so beautiful so slay i miss u already
alexandrasaintmleux: love you!!!
charles_leclerc: delete this 🤦‍♂️
and other comments.
-
3. the watchful eyes of the big, black horse 
your arm is linked with kika’s, giggling with her as you walk through the paddock. 
“what about him?” kika whispers, pointing her chin towards one of the passing alpine mechanics. he’s blonde, pale, eyes dark.  “pierre said he heard that he’s good with the ladies.” she wiggles her eyebrows and your cheeks heat up, swatting her playfully. 
“i am not about to get a reputation for sleeping my way through the paddock.” you scoff. “plus, he’s not my type.” you shrug. 
“you need to start putting yourself out there more, you keep saying you want someone.” the portuguese girl reasons. you nod sheepishly. 
“i don’t wanna look for something, i want it to find me. is that pathetic? i just see how you are with pierre, how alex is with charles, and that’s what i want. something… real.” you sigh. kika sees the way your eyes gloss over with sadness. 
“it’s never as easy and as perfect as it looks, babe, trust me. and anyway, maybe just focus on… the thing you were telling me about.” kika lowers her voice, giving you the look.
“shut up!” you squeal. “god, i am not discussing that here!” 
“discussing what?” you hear pierre before you see him, hot with embarrassment. you’ve know him since before you could even walk, which is why you have no problem voicing your deepest, darkest shame. 
“how i’m not getting laid, apparently!” you drawl sarcastically, slapping your hand over your forehead. 
a poorly concealed laugh that you don’t recognise has you whipping around, eyes wide with bewilderment. it’s hearty, smooth, surprisingly warming. you practically growl when your eyes land on the source of the noise, standing next to pierre who looks embarrassed for you, his lips pressed thinly together to prevent himself from cackling. 
“why is he here?” you grit your teeth, squeezing your eyes so tightly shut that you feel a pang in your temples. 
“as polite as ever.” lando smirks. you open
your eyes just in time to catch him eyeing up the skin of your thighs that your skirt doesn’t quite cover. is he checking you out? 
“says the drink spiller.” you bite back, rolling your eyes. 
“hey, i tried to pay for the damage.” lando looks utterly amused, pink lips still twisted into a punch-worthy smirk. 
“so, you’ve met lando, then.” pierre grins, staring between you both. you don’t register the way he’s trading looks with kika, watching whatever this scene is unfold. 
“unfortunately!” you smile tightly at the racing drivers. 
“pretty sure you walked into me that second time. distracting me in the workplace, or something.” lando chimes in, enjoying this all a bit too much. 
“if you did a better job at looking where you’re going-“ 
“okay, so this has been delightful!” pierre buts in, knowing that you have the shortest temper of all the leclerc offspring. “you,” he points at you. “get laid. you,” he points at lando. “don’t piss her off, you won’t like the result.”
kika can only send you a sympathetic smile, and remind you of the coffee date you have scheduled for tomorrow morning, as she’s dragged away from your place of social suicide. pierre winks, tilts his head far too pointedly for your liking towards lando. you fantasise, in that moment, of clawing his eyes out. 
“i am sorry, for the record.” lando smiles at you, genuine and gleaming. something inside of you twists. 
“for which time?” you’re just teasing now, but he doesn’t need to know that. 
“you have quite the attitude on you. that why you’re not getting any?”
you’re about to rip his head off and give max an even easier ride towards the championship, but lando steps forward. you can smell old spice, tangy and alluring and masculine. 
“how fucking dare you-“ 
“because most men don’t know what to do with a woman like you. don’t know how to treat them right.” he’s so confident when he says it, leaning towards you in a way you can only describe as enticingly. 
“oh, and you do?” you scoff, arms crossed. you must remain combative, or else you’ll give in. is this rock bottom?
“i’m free tonight if you wanna find out.” 
“i’ll be far too busy doing literally anything else.” you can only pray he hasn’t caught the tremble in your voice, the ever so slight quiver of you bottom lip. you chew it into your mouth to stop yourself. 
“but not anyone else.” lando doesn’t pose it as a question. it seems that he’s got you all figured out. 
“whatever helps you and your hand sleep well tonight.” you spit. there’s heat between you, sparking into a flame that could burn down your whole life. you feel eyes burning into the back of your head - green ones that match yours. you falter. “i’m done here, lando. have a fantastic evening.” 
he takes another liberty, leaning in even closer. spearmint and the idea of a million bad choices flood your every pore. you can feel the big, black horse watching over you, now, set into bright yellow, adorned with ferrari red. looming, warning, turning you in. 
“you know, something tells me i will.” 
lando disappears first, not even giving you a chance you spin on your heel and storm off. you want to kill him, hurt him, sink your teeth into that bronzed, thick throat, claw into his back, down, down, down… until you’re on your knees and- 
“why were you talking to lando?” charles’ voice cuts through your filthy thoughts and you sign yourself over to god immediately, purifying yourself as you banish the visions of delicious sin. after all, you’re standing in the presence of il predestinato, the prince of monaco, a saint to many. but to you, he’s just your brother. your big brother, always in the way, always meddling, always, always watching. you sigh. 
“friendly conversation.” you quip, short. you love him dearly, would take bullets for him, but, god, he keeps you on a leash. leo’s has more give than the conceptual tether charles has to you, keeping you close, boyfriendless, out of “trouble”. you know why, and deep down, you’re beyond grateful, all things considered. you can’t admit that, though. 
“that’s not how pierre described it to me.” charles raises an eyebrow, voice bitter despite the clear attempt he’s made to try and hide it. 
“fucking pierre.” you grunt. “it’s nothing, he came over with pierre. i was with kika. first time i’ve ever even had a conversation with lando.” that didn’t result from a drink being spilt over you to the point of transparency. you leave that bit out - charles really doesn’t need to know that. 
charles mulls over your words, eyeing you suspiciously. you want to stomp your heeled foot like a child, a brat, scream and shout and kick and wail that he has to back the fuck off eventually, but you just smile innocently and pray he believes you. 
“okay,” he mutters, making his peace. “i don’t want you getting too… familiar with him. bad reputation. he used to be quite sweet until his last breakup and now he will fuck anything with a pulse.” you wrinkle your nose at your brothers crude words, feeling the need to jump in and object. but why? you don’t know lando, you don’t care about lando. you press your lips into a thin, painful line. “you should go back to the hotel with alex. looks like i’ll be here late.” he rolls his eyes, you know how it is. 
“sure, good luck.” you offer, smothering the rage that pools in your belly. let me fucking live, you think. just because he’d had to swoop in and save you from yourself once before, didn’t mean that you could live like this forever. 
he has lit a spark under you, one that spreads like a wildfire towards the flame that lando ignited minutes before. if only your brother knew how to keep his big mouth shut, you wouldn’t be spurred on to bad behaviour. 
if only lando hadn’t spilled that drink over you, maybe you wouldn’t be opening his instagram profile and sending a message request. 
a place. your room number. a time. 
you only wish you’d gotten to see the devilish grin on his face when he received it. 
lando can’t want you for the reasons that other guys do. your status as charles leclerc’s little sister, and the gateway to your brother that you provided, meant nothing to the brit. that’s why you’d let him have you; he wouldn’t try to take more than you wanted to give. 
-
4. generous 
the knocks are soft against the door, yet they manage to have every hair on your body standing to attention. you’re quick to let him in, itching to get him inside and away from prying eyes. this is clandestine, secret, could even feel somewhat sacred once it’s over, and the last possible thing you could ever need is for another soul to know what you intend to do with lando, what you intend to let him do to you. 
“hey.” 
“hi.” 
you stare at each other. 
he steps forward. you don’t move away. he takes it as an invitation to close the space entirely, so close that, there it is again: oldspice, except this time it’s mixed with something fresh, shower gel you guess, sea salt. his curls are crisper than they were a few hours ago, still damp from the shower he must have just taken. 
“what changed your mind?” he asks. 
“i was feeling generous.” you deadpan. he bites back a laugh. 
“generous, huh?”
“very.” 
“considering your alleged dry spell, i’d say i’m the generous one, no?” his voiced is edged with something dark, dropped a few octaves. you could absolutely squirm under his gaze, but you hold strong. 
“you know where the door is if that’s how you’re gonna be.” you coo, mocking his seductive undercurrent. all he does is flash his teeth, grinning cheekily, his way of accepting your challenge, your attitude. 
“i think you want me to stay, honey.” 
honey. you fear it works on you. the gap closes even further, you fear it’s your doing. 
“you’re only getting this opportunity because i invited you here.” your resolve is slipping. you’ve admitted that you want him in your pathetic bid to hold the power, when the truth is, you want him to pounce on you, strip away every layer and barrier and make you see stars, feel euphoric. 
“okay, honey, whatever you say.” he chuckles, cruel and taunting. “so, how dry of a spell has it been? wanna know what i’m working with.” 
lando touches you then, lightning shooting down your arm as he traces from your elbow down to your fingers, featherlight, barely there, a ghost of a touch that haunts you so deliciously. your fingers intertwine. you initiate it, but really, it’s his fault. this is all his fault.
you try and laugh, but it sounds broken, quivering it’s way out from your dry throat. 
“dry.”
he just stares at you, expectant. he needs to hear more, needs to know. he craves details about you, has ever since you body slammed him outside his garage - leading to some very covert instagram stalking on his behalf and his oh so convenient way of worming his way into a conversation with pierre when lando could see that the other driver was on his way over towards you. it’s pathetic, maybe, but he craves you the way one craves nicotine forever after just one puff of a cigarette. he has you, just for tonight, maybe longer if he gets this right, so he will know everything he needs to know so that he can touch you just how you need. 
“i’ve only… it’s been a while.” 
he sees right through you. 
“you’ve only what?” he presses. he needs to know.
“i’ve only done this once.” you whisper. it’s the meekest he’s seen you. he loathes it. 
“and was it good?” lando murmurs so attentively that you want to cry. 
your fourth interaction with this man, and he has you melting. 
“not really.” 
“do you trust me?” his nose is bumping yours. you’re locked in, twitching. he has both hands on you, now, one still laced with yours, the other trailing up your arm, tempted to brush his fingertips against the taut skin of your neck. 
how the fuck can i trust you? i don’t know you! what the fuck are we doing? what the fuck am i doing?
that’s not what you say, though, because for some reason, you are so sickeningly comfortable and okay that you worry that something is wrong with you. 
“yes.”
“then this time will be so, so much better. i’ll make it all better.” 
when his lips meet yours, you’re surprised at how good it immediately feels. you don’t know what you were expecting, but his lips are plush, enveloping yours softly, but firm enough that you sink into him, allowing him to cement that grip on the side of your neck that he’d been taunting you with. 
he kisses you like he’s sure of everything, like this is second nature and you’ve done it a thousand times. you want to kiss him a thousand times. why it’s so good, you’re not sure, but it gives you the confidence to lean into him, grab the bottom of his hoodie in your hands and tug. 
“be patient, ‘n i’ll make you feel so good, honey, i promise.” he mouths down your cheek, nipping at your jaw, down your neck until he finds that special spot below your ear. he nibbles there, lapping his tongue over your sensitive skin like he already knows your body. you want to see just how familiar with you he can get. “but,” he punctuates the word with a sharp bite. you both dread and revel in the mark it will leave. “you have to behave for me, okay?” 
his words are whispered against the shell of your ear and you shiver, eyes rolled back already. you wonder if he’ll get them to do a full three-sixty rotation in your skull. 
“‘kay.” you breathe, mindless, floating away. it’s already better than last time.
“‘kay’?” he mocks. “no, honey, you gotta promise me. can you promise me?” 
“promise.” you lock eyes, conveying your obedience. his eyes blow wide, pupils dilating to shove away the mysterious bluey green. his teeth grit. he knows he’s hit the jackpot. 
“good girl.” 
you’re stripped naked, mustering all of your energy to shove his clothes off, his hoodie flying away, his sweats kicked into a faraway dark corner. you’re left naked, him in some increasingly tight boxers, and you tumble into the freshly made bed. he slinks over you, crawling on his hands and knees, predator stalking prey. 
he stains your inner thighs purple, tugging your legs over his shoulder, huge hands warm and rough as they manoeuvre your malleable body to his liking. lando presses kisses to every inch of skin, dragging his tongue over your bare flesh before he spreads you open, sucking and tasting and savouring. he moans into you, open and wet, and it ricochets off of every nerve ending, sending your body taut and arched, catlike. you’re trying to get away, whilst simultaneously grinding yourself closed to him, feeling that broad, sharp nose of his bump messily and firmly against your clit, an ache spreading through your pelvis that makes you shake and shake and whine his name out to the gods. 
“taste like heaven.” lando’s words are simple, straightforward, make you bite your lip so hard you taste something metallic seeping over your tongue. “so tight, even around my tongue,” he slurs, drunk, lost. “gotta stretch you out for me. that okay, honey?” you can just about make it all out, and you nod furiously, pleading. 
his teeth graze your clit. 
“say please.” 
“putain! please!” you kick your feet out when all he does is laugh into your wet flesh. 
one finger grazes through your folds, parting them and collecting a mess of your slick. he looks transfixed as it drips down his finger. 
honey.
you watch him watch how he opens you up, revelling in the utter fascination painting his features, pussy drunk and curious, transfixed. 
“can’t believe you’ve never been fucked right.” he coos, breathless, genuinely shocked. you quake under his skilful hands and his awful, sinful, dirty mouth. 
“more.” you plead, not ashamed by your crude begging. you’re a mess for him already, might as well get the full experience. 
“think you can take another?” 
a second finger slides in, rocking against your walls, testing the waters. you writhe, meeting his movements with shallow thrusts of your hips. 
“faster, i need- mon dieu! anything, lando, please just-“ he really goes to town then, scissoring your dripping cunt open, curling and twisting and grinding the two digits so deep that you see white, hazy chocolate coloured curls and deep, glazed over eyes. 
“that’s it, honey, there you go. so fucking pretty for me.” lando whispers the last bit, awestruck, and you’d take the time to wonder why if you weren’t on the verge of tears, overstimulated, ears ringing. your orgasm crashes over you like a surge of electricity, tearing through your body like it’s trying to escape and take cover. it’s so strong that you’re damp everywhere, sweating and crying and so fucking shocked that it can feel like this. 
“lando.” you pant, mouth dry, voice hoarse.  
“you did so good. was it okay?” he rubs small circles into your hips, eyes flitting between your own and where you’re still leaking for him. he manages to tear his eyes away, like a trance has broken, snaking up your body until he’s laying next to you, propped up on his elbow. he hovers over you, raking his eyes over the rising and falling lines of your body. 
“pretty good, i guess. didn’t know you had it in you.” you tease, smirking lazily up at him. 
you want to keep staring at him but your vision is blurring as your eyes begin to droop. what a long day it’s been. 
“high praise coming from you.” lando reasons, laughing lightly. he strokes over your hipbone and you jolt, curling around onto your side. his skin is warm against yours, soft and smooth, and you dare you press your even closer, shy, as if he wasn’t just buried mercilessly between your legs. you hum in response, spent and languid. “you wanna get some sleep?” he asks. 
“we didn’t… i mean, you didn’t…” you trail off, awkward, gesturing towards his middle. 
lando just smiles. 
“guess i’ll just have to come find you in monaco.” 
you flush, cheeks burning as you consider the fact that you’re gonna be in the same country, a very small, very private city. who knows what could happen? 
you fall asleep quickly, easily, far too comfortable next to the british driver. if you were to ask, he’d say he left immediately. he watches the way you breathe far too intently, ever so slowly pulling his clothes back on. he doesn’t know how long passes, but what he does know is that he can’t wait to have you like this again. 
-
5.  some guy 
you sink into the oversized armchair, sitting back and letting kika and alex talk, nattering backwards and forwards about nothing in particular. or, maybe you’re just zoned the fuck out. 
you can’t stop thinking about the way he touched you, your body littered with evidence, dark purple bruises turning a stale green between you thighs. when you woke up, you initially wondered if it was all a dream, but the dull, sweet ache thrumming through your bones told you just how real it really was. you went through the motions, embarrassed momentarily before deciding to just embrace it, try to bask in the way he’d made you feel: sexy and desirable and electric. 
it was just a shame that it had to be him. that’s what you kept telling yourself, at least. 
kika’s nodding along to a story alex is telling about leo, about to respond with a similar anecdote about simba but she gasps instead, almost spilling her americano all over herself. this gets your attention and you open your mouth to ask her is she’s okay, but she beats you to it. 
“my god, what is that?” she chokes, staring at you. or, well, your neck. 
you flush, heated, blood pooling in your cheeks. 
you’d tried to cover it up, seriously, applying layer after layer of concealer and strategically placing your hair in such a way that you prayed it wouldn’t be noticeable, but nonetheless, there it is, clear as day. red raw skin tinged purple around the seams, branded into your neck like some kind of public humiliation ritual. 
fuck you, lando fucking norris!
you avert eye contact, leaning away from alex who is now making a point of leaning in, going as far as to push your hair back so she can get a closer look. 
“oh my gosh!” she squeals, giggling with kika. 
you take a long, slow gulp of coffee, not caring that it burns your tongue. 
“who was it? holy shit, was it lando?” kika whisper shouts and you officially drop dead on the spot, watching her connect the dots so easily. 
“oh jesus, no! no!” you lie, feigning offence, your leg bouncing shamefully under the table. the two girls eye you suspiciously, but you assume you’ve played it off well. 
“who, then?” alex asks. you wonder if kika has told her about yesterdays interaction. 
“just- i don’t even know, some guy.” you huff, playing with a loose thread hanging from your jumper. 
“some guy? after what you were saying yesterday? okay, babe.” kika teases sarcastically. “no, cmon, who?” she pouts, leaning in as well. 
“just… someone.” you squeak, unable to look up at them. 
“okay, well, we will find out eventually.” alex wiggles her eyebrows and you stick your tongue out, mock-glaring at your sister in law. 
“no, the fuck you won’t.” you try and fake some confidence, scrapping for a mere shred of control. 
yes, the fuck they will, because when you leave for the bathroom, you leave your phone unlocked like the utter fool you are. god has it out for you, you figure, because that’s when he chooses to strike. 
the message lando sends you is short and sweet, and alex chokes on a piece of cake when kika starts gesturing wildly at the notification that pops up on your screen. 
for when you’re lonely at home and can’t find anyone to fuck you right.
attached is his address. 
they don’t breathe a word when you come back, but they share a knowing smirk when they catch you smiling at your phone, and again when you ask if either of them have anything with a higher neckline that you can wear for the race. 
youruser has just posted on instagram:
Tumblr media
tagged: francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux
liked by: francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris and others
youruser: race day, big slay
user1: LEO!!!
alexandrasaintmleux: prettiest girl in the world
user45: lando what are you doing here 🤔
6.    manners
“are you even listening to me right now?” charles scoffs, finishing off his drink out of annoyance. your eyes snap back to him, the thumping music vibrating through your body. 
“sorry, just tipsy.” you purse your lips, attempting to lock back in on whatever he’s saying, but it’s hard. it’s hard, because sprawled out in a booth across from where you stand at the bar, lando is watching your every move. 
you’ve managed to avoid him thus far, no contact since you’d liked the DM he’d sent you a few weeks back. you’d be lying through your teeth if you said you didn’t think of him and what you’d done at literally every waking moment, so the way he’s watching you, hooded eyes sparkling under the strobe lights, has you squirming. it was easier to tell yourself that, surely, it wasn’t that good when he wasn’t right in front of you in a half unbuttoned shirt. the navy blue fabric is wrapped around his body deliciously, taut where his muscles are, the colour popping against his tanned skin - which you can practically feel writhing against yours. 
you wish charles would go away so you could crawl into that booth and commit public indecency. 
speak of the devil, your brother seems to have clocked that you have zero interest in what he has to say so he huffs, ordering another round for the table and telling you he’s going to find alex. he shuffles away and you subtly search for the british drivers mindful eyes, but he’s disappeared, left his entourage in the booth. you swallow disappointment that makes you feel pathetic, head in your hands against the bar top, but the lightest brush of fingers against your waist drags you out of your spiral. you know immediately. 
“did you dress like that for me, or are you just a slut?” he’s grinning, light and teasing, surprisingly sober, tipsy at most, just like you. 
“i could ask you the same.” you smirk, blatantly eyeing his exposed chest. he shrugs, leaning in. 
”might have left an extra button undone just for you.” lando winks and you hope the lights hide the way you flush. 
“sure you did, just for me and every other girl in here.” you challenge. his eyebrows furrow. 
“nope. just for you.” his eyes darken, just a tad but enough that you notice. your mouth runs dry. “you never replied to me.” 
“not true, i liked the message.” you smile coyly, sipping your drink. your lipstick smears against the rim of the glass and you watch him stare at the print, tongue wetting his lips. 
“you are something else.” he shakes his head, pushing his curls back. it could be frustration, but he still seems at ease, like he’s enjoying your combative nature. you smile into the glass, hoping he doesn’t notice. he does. “how much have you had to drink?” 
“this is my second.” 
“you sober enough for me to take you home?” lando’s face is mere inches away from yours now, and you can feel the pull, desperate to crawl into the space that still remains and lose yourself there. 
“depends.” 
“on?” you truly exasperate him, but he thinks he loves it. 
“if you’re actually gonna fuck me this time.” you casually take another sip, playing it off as if your crude words had no impact on you. 
lando’s eyes widen at your bluntness, and so does his grin. 
“meet me by the valet.” 
lando leaves, and you quickly follow, downing the remnants of your glass and touching up your lipgloss. 
-
alex watches from her booth, and pulls out her phone. 
to: kika gomes 
oh, she’s deeeeefinitely sleeping with lando!!!  
-
pietra leans towards her boyfriend, close enough that he can hear her over the noise. 
“isn’t that charles’ sister?” she shouts, pointing to the bar, where lando is stood. 
max analyses the way he’s stood, leant  against the bar, nice and close to the ferrari drivers little sister. he knows that look on lando’s face, and he knows it far too well. max pinches the bridge of his nose. 
“oh for fuck sake.” 
-
it’s weird, sitting with him in silence. he’s only had half a drink, able to drive back through the winding hills to his apartment. you stare out the window, mostly, when you aren’t staring blatantly and curiously at lando. you can see the sea, glistening under the moonlight and you wish you could focus on that instead, but he’s there, and you have to admit - begrudgingly, albeit - that he’s stunning. his hands wrap around the wheel tauntingly, as if he’s trying to convey how he’ll touch you, all consumingly. your thighs press together, your fingers clasping together as if you’re subconsciously stopping yourself from reaching out for him prematurely. 
as if he can hear your thoughts, his palm smoothes over the skin of your bare thigh, right where your dress has ridden up, without a second thought, nothing tentative about the way his digits curve around your skin. 
“so, you’ve been thinking about that night, then?” he breaks the silence, glancing over at you. 
“what makes you say that?” you whisper, not even meaning to but the silence had been so heavy. 
“well, you only left with me on the condition i’d bend you over.” he laughs loud, whole and warm. you fight it, just for a second, but then you join in, giving in to him. you can’t help it, he makes it easy. 
“you got me.” you concede, rolling your eyes. without realising it, you’ve relaxed completely into his touch. 
he pulls off of the road and into a private garage. you breath hitches.
-
“do you want a drink or…?” lando gestures blindly towards his kitchen, walking further into the apartment. 
he’d spent the elevator ride up to his place leant against the opposite wall, taunting, making you wait. he’d let himself look at you, totally unabashedly, raking his eyes over your frame, meekly tucked into the corner, shy under his intense gaze but frustrated by his lack of urgency. 
“i’m good. didn’t come here for a tea party.” you hope your words push his buttons. they must, because he turns on his heel, facing you again, suddenly towering over you. 
his eyes are steel, face serious, and you don’t know what to do. you’ve never seen him look at you like this. 
“i think we need to work on your manners.” he speaks condescendingly, down at you, and if you weren’t so needy, hadn’t been waiting weeks, you’d turn around and leave just to really prove his point. but you stay planted, looking up at him through mascara coated lashes, softening you gaze until you’re sure you’re conveying faux innocence. 
“maybe we can work on them in your bedroom.” you truly don’t know where you get this confidence from, he’s the second man to have ever touched you so intimately, but he’s magnetic, drawing you out of your own head and straight towards him. 
he tugs you towards him, kissing you messily, right there in the dim light of his kitchen, pawing at your waist hungrily. his tongue brushes your and you moan, humming into his mouth at the faint taste of mint and vodka, long gone but you can taste everything. his thick fingers find your ass, hoisting you up until you have no option but to wrap your legs around him, your dress scratching at your thighs the higher it rides up, but all it does it turn you on more, rough sensations on sensitive skin. 
lando walks you blindly to his bedroom, never breaking the kiss, and you wonder how many times he’s done this to get it down to muscle memory. the thought makes you nauseous, drags you mercilessly right back into your head, and you pull away, your lips barely brushing his. 
“why me?” you breathe, panting into the shallow space where your mouths have parted.
“what?” he whispers, confused. 
“why do you want to do this with me?” you have to check, past insecurities rising to the surface like bile in the back of your throat. he looks genuinely baffled and you feel foolish for ruining the moment. 
“why wouldn’t i? you’re gorgeous and-“ he cuts himself off, his eyes glazing over. the demeanour slips and you’re stuck, his arms still tight around you, holding you close in the empty space at the foot of his bed. 
“what?” you whisper. 
“you’re part of the same life.” the way he looks at you says words that he can’t. 
words that will sound too shallow and too selfish and too meaningless, even though you will understand them because you’re here for similar reasons, and therefore, they will mean too much. 
you can’t take things from him. you can’t fake it. you can’t break him into a million pieces when he finally discovers that you want him because of what he can give you.
you nod once, firm.  
“i get it.” you smile sadly. lando wants to know more. he can find out some other time. a moment of clarity passes between you. “kiss me, again?” you ask. he delivers immediately. 
kisses you all the way onto the bed. kisses you while he helps you take off your heels, while he drags the zipper of your dress down. you both feel safe now, understood, and that really moves things along. 
“so pretty.” he mutters into your skin, shedding you of your tight dress. 
your shaky fingers work over the buttons of his shirt, peeling it off of his broad shoulders, taking in the sight of him all over again. you’re left in your panties, braless already, and he gawks down at you, like he’s seeing everything for the first time. it makes you feel powerful. 
“can you hurry up?” you writhe, arching into his touch. he smiles, covering his body with yours and pressing a kiss to your lips. his fingers slide over the curves of your body, finding the band of your underwear and toying with it. 
“want me to take them off?” he purrs, trailing his lips down your jaw to just below your ear. 
“now.” you beg, eyes fluttering closed as his warm breath pricks at your skin, teeth nibbling. “no marks.” you whine, flashing back to the weeks over knowing looks and attempts at covering the last one up. 
“what were we saying about manners, hm? gonna need to start hearing some ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’, okay, honey?” he bites down again, harder this time, and you squirm underneath him, your soft belly moulding to each dip of his abs.
his fingers dip into your panties, finding your clit amongst your wetness. you just about bite back a moan, but you can’t help but roll your hips into his hand, his fingertips gliding easily through your folds. 
“va te faire foutre.” you mutter, teeth gritting at the pleasure and his words. go fuck yourself.
“i’ve lived in monaco long enough to know what that means.” lando whispers, pinching your clit once before plunging a finger inside of you. 
you hiss, head thrown back, the feeling of him smiling against the hickey bittersweet. and to think, it was almost healed. you can’t help but keen into his touch. 
“more,” you pant. “please.”
“you learn fast.” lando approves, and quickly fulfils your request, adding another finger. 
they flex inside of you, grinding deeper and deeper until you’re whimpering his name and leaking down his wrist. your arms wrap around him, nails digging in to his smooth back, his ropey muscles tensing under your firm touch. his thumb bumps your clit, over and over, pushing you to the precipice, so close you can taste the impending orgasm on your tongue. 
“it’s so good, merci, god.” you sound wrecked already, and lando can’t wait to see how far he can push, how far apart he can take you.  
“that other fucking loser didn’t know what he had, jesus, you’re so fucking hot.” he rasps, admiring the rise and fall of your chest, how your breasts bounce with every thrust of his fingers, the way his hand is glistening in the low light of his bedroom. his words are your undoing, the awe in his voice sending sparks shooting through every nerve ending. 
“lando, ‘m gonna… putain!” the way you switch languages is sexy to him, tells him how scrambled your brain is, and he twitches in his boxers. when you cum, it’s as gorgeous and as enticing as the first time, and he jolts against your hip, desperate to get inside of you finally. 
“you’re so beautiful.” he groans, pulling his fingers from your entrance. he stares blindly at the mess you’ve made on them, salivating, remembering the way you taste. it’s a no brainer for him, and he licks both digits clean, giving you just a moment to recover. 
“i need you.” you whisper, your legs still spread, quivering slightly. 
you pull him in once more, his covered crotch grinding against your slick and you cry out, the friction sending you into overdrive. his teeth dig into your shoulder, the sensation entrapping him, leaving him weak, ready to give you whatever you ask. he pushes his underwear away, and your eyes go wide. 
“you can have me,” he grunts, running his hand over himself. “think you can take it?” he wets his lips and you think you could cum again at the sight of him. sweat slicked, tight curls falling over his eyes, lips licked pink and kiss swollen, hard and heavy in his own hand, body curved over yours possessively. you’re a simple woman, really. 
“i think i can try.” you want to sound confident, but it comes out as a squeak. 
he sits back on his knees and brings his free hand to cup your jaw. 
“i’ll go slow with you, honey, okay? you can tell me to stop.” lando promises. “you sure you want this?” 
you nod, pouting up at him. 
“i want you, i can take it.” you manage through a deep breath. 
the stretch is brutal, splitting you in half. all you can do is breathe, watching the way he watches you, and that’s what you hone in on, his pretty eyes watching where he’s filling you up. when he bottoms out, he stops for a second, scanning your face for discomfort. 
“are you okay?” 
“c’mere.” you coo, and he falls back over you, paws at your waist. “move, lando.” you plead. 
it’s slow, deep, makes your toes tingle. you can feel each and every drag of him against your walls and it makes you dizzy, a knot twisting and tickling in your belly. your fingers are twisted around him, around his biceps, crumbling a little bit every time he flexes in your grip. 
“oh, mon dieu.” you’re whimpering, legs wrapping around him like vines, tighter and tighter with every buck of his hips. 
“‘s it feel good, honey? yeah? you’re so fucking tight for me.” lando chokes, licking over the sweat on your collarbone. “‘m i making it feel good?” he sounds so cocky, sexy, but there’s a soft edge around his words. it matters to him, how he’s treating you, this, a certain delicateness hanging around your intertwined bodies like a cloud. 
“so good, lando, so fucking good.” the words scratch your throat raw, and your teeth sink into your bottom lip. 
“no, no, lemme hear you, pretty girl. can feel how close you are for me.” you can hear the edge to his voice, can tell the end is near for both of you, the way his words wobble despite his best attempts at hiding it. “need you to look at me, and i need to hear you.” 
you don’t even realise until then that your eyes are shut, screwed up tight as the pleasure rolls through your body, flooding each and every one of your senses. you free your lip, and everything pours out, whines, raw slurs of his name. 
“i’m so close.” he grunts, watching the way your face moves, hanging on to every micro expression, the way you battle to keep all of your attention on him. 
“fill me up.” you urge, squeezing his hips between your thighs. his eyes widen, the request slowly registering, and he blinks away the voice in his head telling him to do it. 
“you know i can’t.” he’s firm, sensible even if you aren’t. 
“want it so bad, lan, please, wanna feel it.” you reason, cupping his face and pushing his curls back. 
“not tonight.”
“yes, tonight. give it to me.”
“i said no, don’t be a fucking brat.” he hisses, squeezing his eyes shut. 
“know you want it.” you whisper, seductive and devious. you can see his resolve slipping, tightening around him. 
before you can say anything else, your hands are scooped up, pinned above your head. he’s right over you now, your hips perfectly aligned, and he’s driving so deep that you swear you can feel him in your tummy. his thrusts resort to a harsh grind, digging into each other with every snap of his pelvis. 
“you want it so bad? huh? fine.” he growls, forehead resting against yours. “want me to cum in you, fuck it all back in? yeah, honey? you gonna keep it all in for me?”
“whatever you want.” you promise, eyes rolling back in your head. “just- please, please do it.” you pant, mouth dry. 
“that’s it, pretty girl, take it all for me.” he buries his face in your neck, nipping at your collarbone. “doing so good.” the words fan against your throat, hushed, leaving you warm from the inside out, brainless. 
when you spill around him, it’s at the same time as he lets go, and he fucks you through your orgasms. you go limp beneath him, taking it, letting it all wash over you, letting him wash all over you. you feel like you can’t breathe, suffocating under the weight of him and the reality of what you’ve just done. again. for some reason, you don’t care, and decide that you’ll do this again and again, anytime he’ll have you. not that you’ll ever tell him that… 
“fuck.” he exhales, rolling off of you carefully, but the overstimulation - and then lack thereof - makes you wince, and he strokes your hip gently in apology. 
“that was better than i thought it would be.” you grin, staring blankly up at the ceiling.
“you know, these are starting to sound kinda backhanded.” he beams, laughing breathlessly, but just as he begins to relax into his bedspread, he remembers. “oh fuck, shit, we need a pharmacy!” lando bolts up so that he’s sitting, scanning the room blindly for his clothes. you giggle and he snaps his head towards you, panicked. 
“no, lando, we don’t.” 
“all of that ‘uh, fill me up, please lando you’re so sexy’ talk means that, yes we absolutely do! fuck, how much is plan b these days?” he’s spiralling now, tugging at his curls. 
“first of all, i’m on birth control. second of all, i don’t sound like that, and most importantly, i did not call you sexy.” you smirk, stretching out your tight muscles. 
“that’s the most important part? woman, you nearly killed me.” lando gasps, slumping back down into bed. 
“‘m sorry, couldn’t resist playing with you a little. good to know we share a kink, though.” your smirk turns into a coy smile, and you swing your shaky legs out of the bed, your feet sinking into the plush rug. 
“oh, yeah? what other kinks are you hiding from me?” lando sits back against the headboard, tucking his hands behind his bed. you have to look away, or else you’ll accidentally fall back into his bed. 
“guess you’ll have to wait and find out.” it makes him quirk an eyebrow, a look of understanding settling over his face. 
“so this is gonna be a regular thing, yeah?” 
you’re putting your underwear back on when he says it, searching for your dress, but his words make you freeze. he sounds hopeful, and it makes your chest pang… wait, is that your heart?
“i don’t… i mean, as you unfortunately know, i haven’t done this before. i don’t know how this works.” you say it so earnestly, so innocently, that his whole face softens, awestruck and boyish. 
“i want it to be a regular thing.” he says it gently, like he’s offering it to you, to the universe. 
“okay. me too.” you whisper back, shy under his gaze. 
“are you… like, do you think you’ll be sleeping with other people?” lando squeaks, doing a terrible job of playing it cool. 
“for so many reasons, no.” you grimace. “but if we’re doing this then i wouldn’t want to anyway.” you say softly. your dress is back on now, but he has you flustered, and you can’t quite get the zipper. 
“lemme help.” he offers, and he’s out of bed and before you in a matter of seconds. his calloused fingers graze your skin as he pulls the zipper together and up, adjusting your dress back into place. it feels so terrifyingly intimate, exciting, and you can’t bring yourself to move away. “i wouldn’t want to either.” he breathes the words quietly into the small space between you. 
“okay.” you don’t even try to hide the way you beam, staring up at him. 
“i’ll take you home, yeah?” 
“yeah.”
-
7.  worth it
and so, begins a clandestine affair, touches in the shadows, subtle glances, watchful eyes. 
one of you calls, the other comes, sneaking through doors that neither of you should enter, leaving bars a few minutes apart, making up excuses to get out of plans. 
there’s the time lando has you bent over the end of your bed, tears leaking into the mattress, slick everywhere. he’s so deep this way, hammering away at the special spot nestled within you that he’s become very familiar with. one of his hands is dragging your hips back to meet his thrusts, the other splayed out across your back, holding you down. 
your phone rings. it’s alex. you were supposed to be a brunch twenty minutes ago. you groan out, frustrated in every sense of the word. 
“answer it, honey.” lando grunts, pulling you towards him even harder. you whimper, shaking your head, words dying on your tongue. “go on, i know you can do it. wouldn’t want alex to worry, would you? let her know you’re okay.” he coos, condescending. 
he’s so arrogant, full of it, and you like the challenge. you can’t let him win, can’t let him revel in how fucked out he has you, so against your better judgement, you grab the phone, fingers shaking as you answer. 
“hi, love. i know, i’m late! ‘m sorry, i’ll be there soon!” you wince at the way your voice shakes. you hope she can’t hear the way you’re panting, or the sound of his hips hitting yours. 
lando slows his hips, hitting deep at such a torturously slow pace that feels a million times better than it already did. your free hand flies back, swatting at him. 
“where the hell are you? i was worried!” alex sounds relieved, but there’s something else in her tone that you can’t quite decipher. 
“i’m on my way, i promise! i was with arthur.” you lie, throwing your younger brother into the line of fire. you know, for credibility. alex is silent for a moment. 
“oh, okay. well, get here soon, please! love you!” and with that, she hangs up the phone. you release a breath you were holding, crying out when lando immediately speeds up again. 
“i hate you.” you choke, grinding your hips into him. lando just scoffs, sliding a hand under your belly, flush against the mattress. he finds your clit, playing with it, urging you quickly towards your release. 
“no, you don’t.” he laughs. “you better cum for me, pretty girl, i think you have somewhere to be.” 
-
“i’m on my way, i promise! i was with arthur.”
alex has to bite back a laugh. she stares across the table, where arthur is having an avid debate with charles and joris. arthur, who had been with her and charles for hours. 
“oh, okay. well, get here soon, please! love you!” alex hangs up the phone, giggling to herself. leo stirs in her lap. 
“what’s so funny?” charles asks her. she shakes her head. 
“oh, nothing, she just overslept.” 
-
there’s the time where he has you hiked up on your kitchen counter, messy curls tickling the insides of your thighs. he’s licking at you ravenously, dragging his tongue up and down, twisting around your clit in circles. 
you’re tugging on his hair, holding him close to where you’re aching, dripping, slicking up the lower half of his face. he’s groaning into you, starved and desperate. it’s been a week since you’ve seen him, had him like this, the longest you’ve done without him since the first time you’d had sex. its untamed and needy and you fear what it means, the way you’re so addicted to one another. 
you also haven’t seen your brother for a week, something you realise when you hear a key turn in the lock, down the corridor. you have seconds to react, the noise washing over you like a bucket of ice cold water. you squirm, pushing a very confused lando away, managing to kick him lightly in the head as you leap from the counter. 
“mon dieu! fuck, i’m sorry!” you gasp. 
“what the fuck is going on-“ you cut him off, slapping your palm over his mouth. 
you glance around frantically, looking for a way out of this. there is but one option available. 
“the balcony! just- fuck, get out there!” you shoo him over to the small window, begging him with your eyes. “please! i’ll get rid of him!” 
you can hear footsteps approaching. you’re sweating now, smoothing down your skirt and your hair anxiously.
charles calls your name, rounding the corner  and walking into your kitchen, just as you pull the window closed again. 
“shit, you scared me!” you fake, clutching your chest. you can feel your heart hammering. 
“i did knock, sorry!” charles looks you over, scanning the kitchen. “are you okay?” 
“yeah, fine, sorry, i must have been out of it. i’m in the middle of an assignment.” you lie. 
“oh okay, well i can always go…” he’s looking at you weirdly, and you fear he knows something, that he can tell. 
“can we get dinner tonight? i’ll book.” you offer, scratching your neck. 
“yeah, that’s great. are you sure you’re okay?” your brother asks, turning to leave. 
“promise, yeah, i’m just so busy with work, deadlines and all that.” you wrinkle you nose, feigning distaste. 
“well you can tell me all about it later, okay? love you.” charles says sincerely, smiling. 
“love you too.” you call, listening for the sound of the door closing behind him. 
you immediately rush for the window, throwing it open, peeking your head out. lando stands with his back against the wall, shivering in nothing but a t-shirt. you look at him sheepishly. 
“get back in here.” you tell him, standing back to give him space to crawl back through. “‘m sorry.” you giggle. 
“you’re lucky you’re worth it.” lando teases, stalking towards you and wrapping you in his arms. his skin is cold against yours, and you huff, try and push him off. “hey, i’m cold!” he pouts. 
“you know, you’re lucky you’re worth it, i could have just let him murder you.” you reason, looking up at him. your hands slide around him, returning his embrace, warm hands skating up under his shirt. 
“you wouldn’t.” he says simply. “i’m way too good in bed.” 
“you keep telling yourself that, norris.” 
“i don’t need to, you tell me more than enough.” 
lando leans down to kiss you, then, nothing all that unusual but it always feels like a step too far, intimate in a way that you two usually aren’t. you kiss him back regardless, because really, you love it. he always tastes minty, divine when you let him lick into your
mouth. 
“i believe we were in the middle of something.” he whispers. 
“remind me.” you breathe. 
-
and there’s also the time where he’s fucking you in his drivers room, the massage table thudding dully against the wall with every hard thrust. 
his race suit is pulled down just enough, your dress bunched around your hips, and he’s slamming into you mercilessly.
the whole thing was a blur, really; you’d always vowed that you would never have sex at a race track, but that promise was old news, now, broken the very second you caught the way he was staring at you. his eyes were hard, unreadable, jaw clenched as he glared at the man talking to you. you were just being friendly, catching up with franco, but lando wouldn’t have it, not after such a shitty race. one harsh snap of his neck towards the mclaren motorhome had you quickly excusing yourself. you knew what it meant. 
“you don’t talk to me at the track but you let him?” lando growls, rutting into you wildly. you cling onto the damp material of his racesuit, head thrown back. 
“was just saying hello.” you gasp out, opening your eyes to look up at him. he’s staring down at you, angry. it’s hot.
“i don’t wanna see you talking to him. you see how he was looking at you? fucker should know who you belong to.” he hisses, sliding his hand between your legs. “you’re gonna cum for me when i say, okay? and you’re gonna be nice and loud, honey. no holding back.” 
“lando i’m-“
“when. i. say.” he cuts you off, punctuating each order with a snap of his hips. 
all you can do is take it, dripping all over him. you can hear it, the wet squelch of him filling you up. 
“should mark up this pretty neck, yeah? let everyone know that you already belong to someone.” 
you barely register what he’s saying, but the words leave you hot, pushing you even closer to the edge and you clamp down around him. 
“squeezing me so tight, bet you’ve wanted me all day, huh, honey? saw you looking at me earlier, pretending like you weren’t when i caught you. couldn’t just asked and i would’ve fucked you right then.” lando grunts. you wail out, thrashing against the makeshift bed and he nods, letting you know it’s okay. 
“that’s right, pretty girl, that’s it. been so good letting me have you. cum for me, baby.” 
baby.
it’s the first time he’s ever called you that. it’s the final push you need. 
he collapses into you as he finishes, sweaty curls plush against your bare shoulder. you’re both panting, spent, basking in the moment of silence.
“thank you.” he whispers, sealing it with a kiss against your neck. it tingles, a foreign feeling settling in your belly, shooting through your veins. 
“you drove really well.” you reply, quiet. his breathing halts, a self deprecating laugh filling the room. 
“don’t do that.” 
“what?” 
“act like you were watching my race. charles have a great drive, that must have been a lot more interesting.” 
“maybe, but i was watching you.” 
your words hit him hard. he can’t help but kiss you. you swallow a moan, and a whole heap of feelings that you’re too scared to tackle. 
“you better go. will i see you in brazil?” 
“yeah, lando. you will.” 
youruser just posted on instagram:
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youruser: hola chica 🤭
francisa.cgomes: my love my loveeeee
user21: once again i am asking. why are you here lando? 👀
user56: stop inventing!
alexandrasaintmleux: my beautiful girlies
user66: icon mother slay incredible
-
PART TWO IS HERE!
taglist
@boysthatgovroomvroom @welld0nebaku @thegirlinthefandoms @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239
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sooniebby · 1 month ago
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ఌ 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐄
w.c › 9k
Warnings › face claims. Part 2. Bottom male reader, slow burn, slight romance with Doha. Mentions of body shaming
Plot › Mingi begins to actively pursue you, while you uncover who else in the group still likes you
Kinks › size difference, cross dressing, manhandling, lite feminization, semi-public sex
Words to know › maknae (막내) — youngest. Hyung (형) — a term a younger male will call an older male. Jagiya/Jagi (자기야) — “sweetie/baby.” Noona (누나) — a term a younger male will call an older female.
ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
Four years ago
Doha didn’t get it.
You and Hyojin were acting buddy-buddy after one music video. It was strange to him at how easily Hyojin just started calling you “Hyung.” Did you really allow it? You haven’t even been in the group for over two months yet.
The company just plopped you into the group and expected everyone to just fall at your feet.
Well, he wouldn’t.
But he didn’t agree with Yohan’s weird hatred of you.
He and Yohan were walking to the dance practice room. Yohan looked angry, he had been angry ever since you stole the leader title from him.
“I don’t get it. I’ve been leading you guys for four years, how is that Hong (Name) better than me?! Just because he can carry a tune?” Yohan ranted, lowering his voice when he and Doha reached the empty room.
Doha didn’t respond, letting Yohan whine about his frustrations. He took off his jacket and backpack, resting them on the couch. Why was there a couch in the corner of the dance studio?
Who knows.
He plopped down and pulled out his phone, typing away. “You talked about this earlier. It’s been two months.”
“Two months!” Yohan yelled, throwing his bag onto the couch. “Two months compared to my four years! How is that fair?”
“Stop yelling at me as if I chose for this to happen.” Doha rolled his eyes. “We just have to go with what the company decided.”
Yohan groaned, rubbing at his face. Doha glanced up and noticed the door to the studio open, Mingi was walking in with Hyojin to behind him. He was about to greet them when you appeared right after them.
His eyes widens as he glanced over at Yohan who had his back to the door. He quickly tried to signal for Yohan to shut his mouth.
“It’s so strange, what did Hong (Name) sleep with the CEO to get my position?” Yohan ranted, pausing when the sound of the door slammed shut.
Doha held back his loud groan as he watched Yohan look pale, he wasn’t making any effort to look back.
“Seriously, Hyung?”
Doha raised an eyebrow, he had expected Hyojin to say something but Mingi beat him to the punch. Hyojin looked pissed but Mingi had a look of anger that he had never seen on the younger boy.
You on the other hand, didn’t look bothered. Doha looked closer and realized why—you had headphones on. You took off your headphones and smiled widely, naive to the fact one of your teammates just insulted you.
“Afternoon!” You said. “Is everyone here?”
“Kihyun Hyung is coming late,” Hyojin answered, looking back at you.
Mingi kept his gaze on Yohan’s back, tightening his grip on his bag. He raised his hand up and leaned back, before throwing his backpack to hit Yohan square on the head.
Yohan grunted, almost falling to his knees from the impact. Doha winced. Mingi always had the heaviest backpack because of his school supplies. He still went to school at the request of his mother.
The bag fell to the floor as two thick school books slipped out.
“Mingi-Ssi!” You said, a frown on your lips. “That’s not nice, you need to apologize.”
“I’m not apologizing to an asshole like him, he should apologize to you!” Mingi yelled.
“Why should he—?”
“—sorry I’m late.” Kihyun said, entering the studio with the choreographer and a few managers behind him.
Well, things were getting worse by the minute.
The dance practice went fine. The choreographer had to tell Mingi to stop glaring at Yohan. A few times Yohan was even told to fix his movements, which was rare. Yohan never got moves wrong.
After the managers gave the dance practice their approval, everyone was eager to leave. Mingi left first, his excuse was the need to “study.” However Doha knew it was because Mingi would’ve jumped Yohan if he stayed any longer.
Hyojin didn’t even speak to Yohan as he walked past and left with Kihyun. Doha was about to go speak to Yohan when the boy left quickly.
Doha sighed, rubbing at his face. He’d have to try and talk to Yohan another time. Any sort of tension between the group before debut was a bad sign.
Just as he finished packing, he glanced up to see one of the managers had stayed back. It was an older man. He wasn’t their main manager—just one that would occasionally substitute for Dawon or Gaeul.
“Do you need something?” Doha asked, standing up.
“Ah, yes,” the man said, a wide grin on his face. “You dance pretty well but… I’ve noticed that you’ve gained a bit of weight.” He used his pen to point of Doha’s stomach.
Doha just felt himself freeze as the man poked his stomach that was spilling over from the shorts he was wearing.
“You’re probably just eating good for your debut but you don’t want to be over a certain weight. Guys need to watch their weight too!” He laughed, as if this was just a funny joke. “Maybe lighten up on the gimbap or something, I’ve noticed you’ve been eating it a lot.”
“Gimbap is healthy.” A voice cut in.
Doha glanced over to see you. You hadn’t left yet?
Your gaze was harsh as you glared at the manager, reaching over to push his hand away from Doha’s stomach. “You shouldn’t touch someone you don’t know. It’s rude and disgusting. Besides, are you his doctor?”
“Huh…?” The manager asked.
“Are you his doctor? What if he is at a healthy weight? He’s still growing.” You patted Doha on the back. “Weight fluctuates… but even then, even if he was gaining weight from ‘eating too much’… it’s none of your concern. Now you should go, I’ll be reporting you to the HR department.”
The manager squared his jaw. He looked ready to say something before he raised his hand up high. Doha felt himself move before he could even think as he grabbed the man’s wrists just as he brought his hand down close to your face.
“Are you crazy?” Doha yelled, pushing the man away. His yelling seemed to catch a few people’s attention as Dawon and a few other people walked into the studio.
He stopped paying attention as the workers began speaking to the manager as he glanced over at you. His gaze softened at the sight of you, you looked calm for just a second before you let out a gasp, almost dropping to the ground. Doha grabbed your arm and held you up as you took multiple deep breaths.
“Doha, (Name), are you guys okay?” Dawon suddenly asked. Doha looked up to see the manager being carried out with force. “I didn’t think he’d be crazy enough to hit any of you guys.”
“We’re okay. Maybe you guys should look into the people you hire.” Doha spit out.
Dawon rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure. I’ll go tell them that. You guys should go home, it’s late.”
As Dawon left, Doha heard you let out a sigh. He looked over at you and helped you stand up straight.
“Sorry,” you muttered. “I tried to act… tough but I was so scared. He shouldn’t have said that to you.”
“Has.. someone spoken to you like that?”
You only nodded. “Mhm. But it’s the first time I’ve talked back… it’s easier doing it for other people, for you.” You looked up at Doha and smiled.
Doha only stared at you before feeling himself blush. “Ah.. thanks, (Name)-Ssi.”
“Oh, you can call me Hyung.”
“Are you sure..?”
“Mhm!” You grinned. How could someone be this cute without being cringy?
“Ah.. okay, (Name) Hyung…”
“You’re so cute, Dodo!”
Doha narrowed his eyebrows, “never call me that again.”
“Mhm… Dodo!”
Never mind, he didn’t like you.
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
You were pretty sure Mingi was dying.
It had only been four days since your ‘no touching’ rule and he’s been acting as if he’s going through a drought. He was currently on the couch, dead eye contact on the tv as he occasionally let out a loud groan.
He seemed to groan louder each time you walked past the living room to get to the kitchen.
While he was certainly dying—you couldn’t lie to yourself much longer.
You were horny.
Worst of all, you were missing him sleeping with you at night. You never realized how much Mingi touches you everyday. Yohan was the cuddliest but Mingi was on another level—but usually only with you.
Teaching him a lesson seemed so silly now. You wanted him to touch you but you knew he wouldn’t dare unless you told him to or until the month was over.
But… that was embarrassing. You didn’t want to ask. You, the oldest, whining to the younger man to touch you?! Have some decorum!
No way in hell were you going to embarrass yourself in front of your maknae again. No way!
You’d get through this… you would!
“Hyung, are you going to stare at Mingi all day or..?”
You sat up, blinking rapidly as you looked over at Kihyun. He smiled and sat down beside you in the van. The company was having the group record content for promotion for the future comeback. Luckily, Yohan and Mingi were currently holding the vlogging camera.
“I was staring?” You whispered. “I wasn’t.”
“Sure.” Kihyun replied, looking over at Mingi and Yohan when Yohan let out a loud laugh. “Why didn’t Mingi sit next to you? He always pushes us out of the way to sit near you.”
“He does?”
Kihyun rolled his eyes. “You’re so oblivious.” He muttered, looking back at you.
You pouted. “Well why aren’t you sitting next to Jinnie?”
That seemed to be a sore spot as Kihyun immediately tensed. He didn’t even attempt to glance over at Hyojin who was sitting next to Doha. The two weren’t even talking, just listening to music on their own headphones.
“Ah,” you muttered, wondering how far you could push him before deciding to just take his mind off his problems. “You just wanted to spend time with your Hyung, mhm~?”
Kihyun glanced over at you with a raised eyebrow as you grinned. You wrapped your arms around his bicep and pressed your cheek against his chest.
“Hyung wants to spend time you too~” You giggled, purposefully tightening your grip as Kihyun tried to pull away. “Hyunnie~ don’t make Hyung sad!”
“You’re so annoying.” Kihyun muttered, but you could see the corner of his mouth tilting upwards as he fought back a smile.
You opened your eyes and glanced over to see what Mingi and Yohan was doing as their conversation suddenly fell silent. Only for you to see the both of them staring daggers right at Kihyun.
The camera was pointed at you two so you decided to wave, trying to ignore the weird tension for those two.
“Hyunnie, wave to Miras.” You said, grabbing Kihyun’s left wrist and waving it for him. He didn’t pull away and just allowed you to maneuver his hand around.
“I’m stopping for gas.” Dawon said from the driver seat. Gaeul said something too but you couldn’t exactly hear her clearly.
Once the van reached the gas station, Kihyun and the others had gotten out to buy a snack. You stayed in your seat, typing away as you texted your mother when the sound of bickering filled your ears.
“Stop it, I’m the youngest.”
“You can’t keep using your age card!”
“Face it, (Name) Hyung doesn’t even see you that way.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know a lot of things… living in the same apartment has gotten us closer than you can imagine.”
“You fucking—”
The sound of banging caught your attention as you made the move to get up. However an angry Doha walked into the van right after. He sat down beside you, muttering on about something you couldn’t understand.
Hyojin came in after, sitting down in his same spot. Kihyun walked in but seemed to hesitate for a moment. He made the move to sit somewhere else until Hyojin grabbed his hand and tugged him back to the seat.
You watched the scene with an odd sense of relief. Maybe they’ll get over whatever’s bothering them.
After a minute or so, a disgruntled Mingi walked in with Yohan close behind. The two sat in the two empty rows of the van, far apart from each other.
The van had three rows, two seats each. You were sitting in the right side middle row. Kihyun and Hyojin were in the back row, left side. Mingi in the front left side and Yohan in the front right side.
They looked childish.
Dawon and Gaeul came in not too long ago and started the car. The group was heading to the amusement park.
“Doha,” you whispered, leaning in.
Doha glanced over at you, pulling off his headphones. “Hm?”
“What were Mingi and Yohan arguing about? Did a fight break out?”
He rolled his eyes. “Dumbasses were fighting over something stupid. I think Mingi was going to punch Yohan Hyung but I beat them both to it by hitting them both. So childish.”
“What were they fighting over?”
“Uh. I don’t know.”
“Oh.” You frowned, easily clocking that Doha wasn’t about to tell you the truth.
The rest of the ride was oddly tense, well from Mingi’s and Yohan’s side. You decided to leave the two to wallow as you gazed out the window. It would be your first time going an amusement park. The last time the group went was in their second year and you had to sit out because of a family emergency.
Your mother could never afford to take you when you were younger. And even as you grew up, you threw yourself into practicing as a singer and dancer. No breaks.
To say you were excited was an understatement.
Once the van finally reached the location, you were practically buzzing in your seat. You all got out of the van as you took in your surroundings. Dawon and Gaeul was telling you guys something but you could hardly pay attention.
It was more than likely just about what to do for the vlog. Didn’t matter to you, you hardly paid attention to it since Miras didn’t particularly care about you.
As soon as Dawon and Gaeul gave you guys the ok, you practically sprinted away, ignoring the surprised yells of your members.
There was a whole plan that you had since you were ten. You were going to follow that plan to a tee!
First: ride the Ferris Wheel.
Lucky for you, there was no long line. You eagerly got on and sat on one of the horses. It looked a little silly compared to the small kids on the ride but you didn’t care.
Even if the ride was a little slower than you imagined, just being on it was fulfilling any dream you had back then.
After the ride finished, you were a ball of energy as you mentally thought about what your next step was. But you didn’t get far when something tugged at your shirt. You looked back to see an exhausted Doha as he let out a heavy breath.
“Holy shit,” he cursed, rubbing at his face. “You’d think you’re the youngest. What was that?”
You blushed, biting your lip. “Sorry, I got a little excited.”
“A little?”
You giggled in response to his harsh glare. You could hear footsteps from behind him as you glanced over his shoulder. Mingi was sprinting over to you with Yohan right on his tail, somehow holding up the vlogging camera upright the entire time.
Hyojin and Kihyun were walking behind them.
“Hyung!” Mingi yelled, skidding to a stop as he shoved Doha away from you. Doha gave Mingi an incredulous look as you couldn’t help the slight laugh that left your lips. “You scared me—!”
“—scared us.” Yohan interrupted, slowing down as he panted heavily. “Who knew the leader would abandon his members in an amusement park. I only noticed you walking away because of the camera’s viewfinder.”
You grinned sheepishly, “sorry. I’ve never been to an amusement park, I got too excited.”
“You’ve never been?” Mingi asked.
“No. I have a list of things I want to do.”
“I’ve been here loads of times,” Yohan said, grinning. He pointed the camera over at you. “I can show you the best rides.”
Mingi subconsciously stepped in front of you, “no way. You’ll hog him the entire day. I want to spend time with Hyung.”
“Stop being so childish,” Yohan rolled his eyes. “It’s so he can have a good time.”
You sent a swift glare to both boys before they could raise the tension with their stupid argument. You didn’t know what was wrong with them—they seemed to be arguing more than normal.
“I’ll spend one step of my bucket list with each of you.” You said, shaking your head. You reached over and grabbed the camera from Yohan. “I’ll start with Doha. I’ll find whoever I want to hang out with later.” With that, you turned around and grabbed Doha’s hand, tugging him away to the nearest ride.
The others just watched in silence.
“Uh,” Kihyun muttered. “That’s going against the plan of the vlog.”
Hyojin shrugged. “I think a vlog focusing on (Name) Hyung isn’t a bad idea.” He looked over at Mingi. “What do you think, Mingi?”
Mingi pouted. “How comes Doha Hyung get to go first?”
Hyojin sighed and shook his head. “Oh my gosh.”
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
Turns out taking Doha out on the fastest rollercoaster was a terrible idea. He was out of commission immediately. You felt terrible as you led him to rest on a bench.
After a few minutes, Hyojin and Kihyun appeared. Doha looked pale as he slowly sipped on the water bottle you bought him. The camera sat on your lap as you had shut it off as soon as he threw up a few minutes earlier.
“What happened to Doha Hyung?” Hyojin asked.
“I took him on that fast rollercoaster… I forgot he had eaten something not even twenty minutes ago.” You sighed, patting him on the shoulder.
Kihyun looked away as he let out a cough. “Shame… we should probably take him back to the van.”
“Ah, right. I’ll go take him.” You said, getting ready to help him up.
“No, it’s okay, Hyung.” Kihyun said, shaking his head. “Hyojin and I will take him.”
“We will?” Hyojin whispered, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah. It’s your first time here. You can’t just ride one rollercoaster and call it a day. Go find Yohan Hyung and Mingi. They were by the food court a few minutes ago.” Kihyun walked over and grabbed Doha’s arm, helping him stand up.
Hyojin helped him as well, looking a bit pissed at his forced aid. “We’ll join you guys later… if Doha Hyung feels better.”
With that, they walked away with a groaning Doha in their arms.
You felt anxious, feeling terrible about putting Doha through that. Deciding to follow Kihyun’s orders, you began to walk over to the food court to find Mingi and Yohan.
Though you didn’t necessarily want to speak to them right now. They were being so childish—it was getting a bit annoying.
You started the camera back up, unsure of what to do. You’ve never solo vlogged. You turned the camera to face you as you smiled shyly.
“Ah… I’m not sure what to do,” you whispered, feeling a bit shy. “I need to find Hannie and Minnie. I made Dodo sick, I feel so bad… I should buy him a gift to make up for it.. but—”
“—excuse me! Are you busy, Miss?” A lady yelled out to you.
You almost ignored her until you realized she was pointing right at you. “Miss…? Ah, I’m not a lady.” You said, laughing slightly. That’s the first.
The lady looked slightly embarrassed as she laughed nervously. “I’m sorry! I don’t have my glasses on right now so I can’t see far away that well.”
“It’s okay… is there something you wanted?”
“Ah!” The lady pointed at her small little venue. “I do a little make up and dress up booth! I was asking if you were interested but since you aren’t a woman…”
“Can I still do it?” You asked, grinning at her shocked face. Ever since the whole Cinderella makeup, you oddly wanted to see how you’d look with a more natural look. The stage makeup was always so heavy because of the bright light they shined on you.
It wasn’t a crime to see how’d you look. Maybe you’d like it.
“Of course, of course! Ah, you young men are so open minded! C’mere, I’ll do makeup that suits your features.”
Since you were vlogging, you had the camera propped up on her desk so it would tape the entire process. Though the editors would probably fast forward or take most of it out to save time.
The lady worked faster than you imagined. She looked on the older side, close to your mother’s age of 56. But somehow she was swift and precise with her strokes of the makeup brush. You wondered if she painted on the side.
After a few minutes, she was done.
“Ah,” she nodded, squinting her eyes as she took in her handwork, “I wish I didn’t forget my glasses but you look good, son. Boys should wear makeup more often. They’d look less ugly.”
You bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing. You reached over to look into the small mirror she had on her table. Woah, she was right. You did look good.
The makeup wasn’t overly feminine like the Cinderella makeup but it still softened your features. It was light and almost felt like there was nothing there. Minimal blush and the lightest red tint on your lips. She even put an eyeshadow that matched your skin tone.
The only strong part of the makeup was the wing eyeliner she did.
“Woah, thank you, Miss!”
“It’s no problem. It’s nice to see a man that’s not an actor or model wear makeup.”
You didn’t mention you were an idol.
“Since you’re here, take this sweater, it looks good with your outfit.” She pulled off a baby blue sweater off her chair and handed it over to you. Just as you were putting it on, she placed a headband on your head. “Might as well, they’re the same color.”
You only grinned, handing her a few dollars before grabbing the camera and leaving. While it still felt a bit awkward to vlog by yourself, it was oddly nice to see such a pretty sight of yourself in the viewfinder.
“I only wear makeup for photoshoots and performances… maybe I should wear it more casually.” You muttered, grinning slightly. “Would that be weird?”
It only took a few more minutes before you reached the food court. You glanced around, wondering if you might have to call them when a hand tugged at your sweater.
You looked back and grinned when you came face to face with Mingi. He looked particularly angry until he saw your face. Whatever he was pissed about was long gone as he stared at you with his mouth agape.
You turned the camera to face him and grinned, “Found Minnie. What do you think? A lady stopped me and I decided to let her do my makeup. I kinda like it.”
Mingi only let out a little grunt as he gulped. “Mhm.”
“Mhm..? What? Do you hate it?”
“No!” He yelled, catching the attention of a few guests. “Uh, I mean… it’s nice.. it’s not too much. It really suits you.”
“Thanks, Minnie. I don’t think I’ll wear it daily but maybe sometimes.” You giggled. “Anyway, where’s Yohan?”
At the mention of Yohan, Mingi fought back the urge to roll his eyes. You frowned, wondering if they must’ve fought again. And if there was no one there to stop them—it must’ve gotten bad.
“I don’t know.” Was all he said, shaking his head. “Let’s just hang out.” He reached over and grabbed the camera, turning it off. You raised an eyebrow and tilted your head.
“But we have to film.”
“I don’t care. I’ll take the fall from Dawon Hyung and Gaeul Noona.”
“Minnie, are you okay?”
Mingi glanced around before he grabbed your arm, tugging you away to a corner away from curious eyes. You almost forgot about how he wasn’t even supposed to be touching you right now.
He pressed you against the wall of the hidden corner, a dumpster hiding you both from anyone who peeked into the mini alleyway between the small food courts.
“Hyung.” Mingi whispered, his hands gripping your shoulders as he released a strangled groan. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Can’t do what anymore?”
“I can’t let Yohan Hyung keep thinking he has a chance with you.”
“What…? Hannie? What do you mean, Minnie?”
“If I want our relationship to work, I have to be honest.” He whispered to himself before gazing over at you. “Yohan Hyung was the person who refused to my request back on my nineteenth birthday.”
“Wha…”
“Everything was okay until he started pursuing you for real. No one told you this, but when we were choosing our roommates, Yohan Hyung and I got into a huge argument about who would room with you.”
“Argument? Oh my gosh, Mingi, why are you guys so childish?”
Mingi frowned. “Yeah, I know… but we ended up letting you choose and after you chose me, he’s been a bit pissy over it.”
“Choose you? How’d I do that?”
“Oh uh, remember when Doha Hyung asked if you’d prefer me or Yohan Hyung cooking you dinner. You said me.”
You blinked. “That’s so stupid. Who came up with that?”
“Doha Hyung because he got tired of us arguing.”
“Of course.” You sighed, shaking your head. “But this is so silly, Mingi. You two can’t be fighting over me like this. It’s not good for the groups dynamic.”
Mingi nodded, signing. “I know. I wanted to apologize but he made me angry again so I fought back.”
“Mingi… that’s not right. You should apologize to him.”
He looked as if he wanted to argue but decided against it. Mingi rest his head on your shoulder as you flinched. It had been a minute since Mingi has been so close to you that this light contact was sending you over the edge.
It seemed he could tell as Mingi let out a laugh, his lips teasing your collarbone.
“Hyung… there’s something else I can’t do anymore.”
“W…What…?”
He slowly pulled away as he held your gaze. Never in your life did you think being stared at like you were a piece of meat could be hot… but you felt a rush of adrenaline in your body from his gaze.
Mingi didn’t say anything his hand slowly reached up and grasped your cheek, gently rubbing the skin. You almost closed your eyes at the touch when lips slammed against yours. Your head knocked against the wall but you didn’t even get a minute to properly react to the pain.
He kissed you as if you were his lifeline. His free hand moving down to grab your jeans, unbuckling it. You reached up and grasped the collar of his shirt but you made no effort to push him away. Your lips followed his as he bit and tugged at your bottom lip, earning a gasp from you.
His tongue slipped in with ease as the kiss entered a new territory you didn’t know. Your eyes felt watery as you whimpered into the kiss, beginning to remember you weren’t exactly in the privacy in your own home.
But he didn’t pull away, his hand slipping into your boxers as he grasped your cock. Your hips stuttered as you let out a muffled cry. Maybe it was a good thing he was kissing you.
He pumped your cock with a quick rhythm, not wanting to drag out the quick handjob. You appreciated it but also wanted him to stop as your moans were swallowed into the kiss.
Your back arched against the wall as your eyes squeezed shut. The pleasure was too much—you wondered if this was what pleasure was like. Or if only Mingi could make you feel this way.
You cummed into the palm of his hand, nails digging into his shoulders as you tried to ground yourself. He didn’t pull away, kissing you as if he was stealing your oxygen. When you began to tap at his back is when he finally got the message to let you breathe.
A large gasp left you as you took a few greedy breaths, taking in the fresh air. Mingi didn’t say anything as he pulled out his hand from your jeans. His hand was coated in your cum as you stared up at him in embarrassment.
“Mingi—”
Your eyes widen as you watched him bring his palm to his mouth. With his gaze zeroed in on you, he stuck his tongue out and licked his palm clean off. He didn’t leave any trace behind as he showed you his clean hand.
You felt as if you’d faint.
“You taste sweet, Hyung.” Mingi grinned, a smirk pulled on his lips. His blonde hair fell into his eyes as he leaned down and captured your lips into another kiss. You didn’t even attempt to push him away, eagerly kissing him back. Your hands tangled themselves into his hair as he pressed your body against the wall with his own.
His hands reached down and grabbed your thighs, hoisting you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as you released a moan into his mouth.
You almost forgot all about your surroundings when the sound of a kid crying startled you both. Mingi immediately pulled away as he peaked over the garbage bin. Coast was clear, but that was way too close.
Mingi helped you back to your feet as you tried to fix your jeans. Your face felt warm—you couldn’t look Mingi in the eye at all. He let out a slight huff before grabbing your face, forcing your face up.
“Hyung,” he said, before his voice trailed off. His gaze widening. “Oh shit… you can’t go out there like that.”
You blinked. “What’s wrong?”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, turning on the camera. Mingi handed over his phone as you cautiously took it. Your eyes widen immediately when you caught sight of your face.
To say you looked like you were just fucked was an understatement. Your lipstick was smudged, blush almost gone from the tears. Even worse, the eyeliner had leaked and trailed down your cheeks, creating a dark stain.
Any one would understand what happened with just one glance at you.
You looked over at Mingi and noticed that there was lipstick on his lips but it looked a bit more natural on his face. Okay, he could get you some wet wipes so you don’t embarrass yourself to complete strangers.
“Go get me some wet wipes.. hopefully I can take some of it off.” You muttered, noticing that Mingi wasn’t making an effort to move. “What’s wrong?”
Mingi bit his lip, “I think I want to fuck you while you wear makeup.”
“Choi Mingi!”
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
Two years ago
“That’s a perfect birthday present for Mingi. He’ll love it, Hyung.”
You glanced up to see Kihyun standing behind Yohan. Yohan was still holding the vlogging camera before turning to face Kihyun.
“Perfect present?” You asked, moving to sit on up. “What is? I bought him a guitar…” your lips pulled into a frown.
“You bought him a guitar?!” Yohan yelled, mouth agape.
Kihyun rolled his eyes. “You are so oblivious. I meant you being on your knees.”
“Why would Mingi like that?” You whispered, genuinely confused.
“Forget it.” Yohan quickly said, “let’s just focus on getting the party ready.”
“What party?”
You all looked back to see Mingi entering the apartment.
Fuck.
After a few seconds of panicked silence, a rushed Doha and Hyojin appeared behind Mingi. They looked stressed out and you could easily tell their plan to keep Mingi away from home didn’t work at all.
The whole surprise party was a dud.
Mingi sat on the couch as he just watched everyone else continue to set up. You excused yourself to go get the cake when Mingi finally sat up, grabbing the vlog camera. He turned it off much to the other’s confusion.
“I need to talk to you guys about something.” He said.
“Without (Name) Hyung?” Hyojin asked.
“Yeah. It’s about him.” Mingi said, waiting for the members to stop what they were doing so they would listen. “I know each of you liked (Name) Hyung. Even if it’s to different degrees.”
The others glanced at each other, not seeming too shocked at Mingi’s revelation. It wasn’t exactly a secret. Even Dawon and Gaeul noticed. It was mainly you being absurdly oblivious to have not noticed by now.
“So?” Kihyun finally asked, “are you worried you have competition?”
“No.” Mingi glanced up, his face devoid of any doubt. “Because I know (Name) Hyung will return my feelings. So, I wanted to let you guys know… or ah, ‘ask’ if you could not pursue him.”
Kihyun shrugged. “Okay.”
Doha rolled his eyes. “So cocky. Fine, whatever.”
Hyojin looked hesitant before sighing. “I miss when you were scared to even upset us. But okay, I wasn’t going to confess anyway. But if you treat (Name) Hyung wrong, I’ll take him from you.”
Mingi nodded, smiling slightly. “The best birthday present you guys could give me.”
Kihyun grinned. “Ah good. I’ll return the other one so I can get my money back.” He chuckled, enjoying the sudden change in expression on Mingi at the mention of his present.
“What if I don’t want to?”
Doha groaned. Kihyun muttered a quick prayer and took a step away from Yohan. Hyojin shook his head, moving to grip Mingi’s shoulder as a way to keep him standing up.
Yohan raised an eyebrow, “huh? Will you try to stop me? How can you be so sure (Name) Hyung will want someone he sees as a kid?”
“A kid? You little—!”
“I’m back!”
The tension immediately diminished as you burst through the front door. You were bundled up in your coat and scarf, little snow on the top of your nose. Your beanie was rolling down, almost covering your eyes.
“I got red velvet, your favorite.” You walked over to the living room and tilted your head. “Something wrong?”
Yohan and Mingi glanced over at each other.
“No. Nothings wrong.”
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
To say that you were nervous around Mingi was an understatement. You practically felt hot whenever he even brushed up against you. The make out two weeks ago made you see Mingi in a different light. A light you’d never imagine for your maknae.
After the whole amusement park debacle, Yohan and Mingi seemed to have made up.
Or at the very least were hiding any fights they were having from you.
Today, the company had did a pre-album fan meeting. Strange, but you knew they were trying new things.
Each member prepared a short little performance to do as their entrance. Although Gaeul definitely had a hand on which songs for each member.
Gaeul chose Rainism for Yohan.
Bambi for Kihyun.
Any song for Doha.
Deep for Hyojin.
Peaches for Mingi.
Hyojin performing a female solo artist song got a few laughs from Doha. Though Yohan was quick to beat him. You had wondered what Gaeul would pick for you but she actually told you she had too many options.
She had given you a few popular male solo artist songs but you decided to pick the one female artist she had on her list. You mainly did it for Hyojin—so he didn’t feel left out!
But also….
Each member would be dressed up in outfits for the performance that the original artist had.
After the vlog had been uploaded, you had a lot of Miras affirm that you looked good in more feminine clothing. While a younger you might’ve viewed this as an attack on your “manhood” you now viewed it as a new way to express you.
What better excuse to dress up feminine was to perform a female artist song?
You decided on 24 hrs by Sunmi. Why not? The outfit she performed in wasn’t too much, some would argue it wasn’t overly feminine.
A perfect start. You didn’t think you’d be ready to wear skirts or dresses. While you did like the Cinderella dress… it was a cheaply made costume.
Wearing real women’s clothes felt like a big step, especially in public.
You winced as the hairstylist used another clip to get the wig to stay down. It was a short pink bob. You were once again the last one to get dressed.
Gaeul stood not too far away, a wide grin on her lips. “Aaah!!! You look so cute! I’m so happy you’re experimenting with your style! Oh, and, you’re getting some attention from women now, after the vlog. They’ve overtaken the gay men.”
“Re—?” You groaned as the hairstylist gripped your face and turned your head back to face the mirror. “Sorry.”
“Yeah!” Gaeul said. “I mean female fans are always the best anyway! But they love how open minded you were. They even started recommending certain clothing you should try! Ah, I’m sure by next year, you’ll get your own offer in modeling photo shoots!”
“Like Mingi?”
“Keep your head straight.” The hairstylist said.
“Sorry.”
“Yeah, like Mingi. See, I told you! You just had to find your audience. If only the company didn’t take so fucking long to stop advertising you as a stoic man.”
When the hairstylist was finally finished, you got up, eager to see what you’ll be wearing. The other members were already backstage, probably starting to perform.
The outfit was similar to the black and white one piece from the video. It was a black and white stripped turtle neck. Close enough. The bottom wasn’t connected to the top. It was a pair of short black shorts.
And no shoes, because she didn’t wear any.
You pulled on the outfit, making sure to keep your new hairdo safe.
“Hm, I think this is a woman’s turtle neck.” Gaeul said, helping you fix the collar. “I’m pretty sure I saw my mom wear this same brand.”
“Oh.” You pursed your lips. “I don’t look like a grandma… do I?”
“Hey, my mom is fashionable. Besides, she’s not a grandma.”
You rolled your eyes. “Do I… look weird?”
“Getting second thoughts? These shorts might hug your butt a little too much.” She pulled the shorts down just a bit to properly cover your ass. “You look cute. You always wore the more revealing clothing anyway.”
“Yeah…”
“What made you want to try feminine clothing?”
“Uh.” You shrugged, glancing over in the mirror. The makeup was similar to the one the older lady did at the amusement park but a bit more heavy. You looked more feminine this way, maybe someone could confuse you for a girl. “Just trying something new… my sister used to dress me up back then so maybe I actually did like it a lot.”
“Ah. Your sister groomed you into appreciating feminine clothing.”
“Uh, I don’t think you should say it like that.”
“(Name).” Dawon called out, opening the door. “It’s almost your turn. Let’s go.”
You gave Gaeul a tight grin and walked away. The performance was easy, you were only doing the first minute of the song anyway.
Performing by yourself for practically most of your teens made you fearless almost. The performance was done before you noticed. You walked off stage right after and let out a sigh, feeling a bit cold now.
“You were great, Hyung.” Kihyun said, smiling at you. He seemed to be the only other member backstage for some reason. Staff members walked onstage and began to set the tables up for the individual fan meeting.
You’d all sit at the table as a person talked to you for thirty seconds to get their album signed and move to the next member. It was quick and easy, Gaeul ran meetings like this like the navy.
“Where’s everyone else?” You asked, reaching up to poke Kihyun on the nose. He playfully sneered at you, pretending to bite your finger. “Are they already changing?”
“Sure, let’s say that.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. “Let’s go change.”
He grabbed your hand and tugged you to the changing room. You followed behind him, wondering if something happened. But decided against worrying if you had no proof of anything happening.
The next outfit was just “regular” clothing. Mainly, clothing from name brands that wanted a member to promote them. You, unsurprisingly, didn’t have any brand that particularly wanted you so you just wore more average clothing.
However, the outfit looked a bit… different than usual.
It was a brown sweater jacket with a burgundy shirt. Most surprising was the brown jean shorts.
You just shrugged and put them on. Everything but the jacket looked like they were men’s clothing. Maybe Gaeul added the sweater as an extra.
“Ah, should I take off my wig?” You asked, glancing back at Kihyun who had changed into his own clothing.
“Won’t your hair underneath be messy? It’s not like we’re taking off our makeup, just keep it on.” He said.
“Ah. Okay.”
After changing, you and Kihyun left to see the others had reappeared. Mingi and Yohan looked particularly upset. You mentally sighed and shook your head, not even attempting to wonder what the fuck just happened between them.
The staff member guided the group back on stage to sit at the table. You sat at the end, grabbing the pen one of the staff members held out for you.
There was a sound of screeching before someone plopped down beside you. You glanced over to see Mingi acting nonchalant as Yohan grumpily sat down on Mingi’s right.
You were about to ask what just happened when the first fan was already starting.
Everything went into motion. Not to your surprise, a few fans didn’t even stop to get your autograph or not even use the full thirty seconds or one minute to even exchange dialogue with you.
Whatever.
Before you could even properly be angry, someone sat down in the seat across from you. You glanced over and smiled, the first time someone sat down since the almost full hour.
“Hong (Name)-Ssi.” The boy looked to be around Kihyun’s age. He looked shy before he handed over his album. “I’ve liked your work for a while now. But only today have I’ve been able to come to any of your Miracle work.”
“Miracle work?” You asked, signing your name. “What do you mean?”
“Ah!” He bit his lip. “I’ve been following you since pre debut! I went to your high school… but uh!! I’m not a sasaeng!! I’ve never tried to find out anything personal about you… but I do follow your mom… she posts so much stuff about you.. but I can stop if that makes you uncomfortable… I just—!”
You grabbed the boy’s hands that began flapping around. He stared over at you in shock, mouth agape as you gave him a wide grin.
“Really? You’ve been into my work for that long?” You couldn’t help but giggle. “That’s so nice.. I’m really happy. What’s your name?”
“Oh! Kim Pilseung! I never talked to you directly… I was too shy..” he admitted, gazing down at your hands that clasped his. “Your hands… are really small.”
You glanced down and noticed that he was right, your hands hardly covered his. “Oh. Hehe, I guess so.”
“And soft. Do you use gloves while working out?”
“You noticed?” You let out a giggle, pulling your hands away as you brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “I do. I like having soft hands.”
“Woah.” Pilseung smiled. “My hands are rough. I try moisturizing but it’s a bit too late now.”
“Please move forward.”
“Ah.” Pilseung moved to grab his album. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hold up the line. Thank you so much, Hong (Name)-Ssi.”
“Hyung… you can call me Hyung.”
Pilseung gasped, his eyes wide as he stared at you. “H…Hyung?!”
“Mhm. You’re not a stranger.” You reached over and wrote a number in his album. “I trust you won’t share it.”
“O..Of course!!! You’re so cool, (Name) H..Hyung! I.. I didn’t want to tell you before but..! Your past performance with your past group… it really meant something to me when you didn’t view love between two men as something disgusting…”
“Past performance? Woah, you really are a pre debut fan!” You grinned, standing up just as Pilseung did. “Why didn’t you reach out before… it would’ve meant a lot to know that you’ve followed me for this long.”
“I’m sorry… I didn’t think you’d care… but! I’ll be more vocal now, Hyung!!” Pilseung bowed his head, ready to leave when you grabbed his arm and stepped over to his side of the table. He stared at you in shock as you hugged him tightly.
Everyone else in the room looked over at the display in shock. You knew it was over the top to do this…
But honestly, you didn’t care.
For four years, you thought you were in a group with fans that wouldn’t even notice if you left. Even before that, doing past performances to get attention for your dream to be an idol.
You thought you only had your mom and your sister as your fans.
But to think that to every performance your mom and sister went to, Pilseung was also there. To think that maybe there were even more people that did admire you, that this singing was not for nothing…
You pulled away after a second, smiling at Pilseung. At least he was your height. Pilseung looked red in the face as he tried to say something but only a weak “thank you” left his lips. He quickly bowed and walked off stage.
You ignored the stares of everyone else to look at Mingi.
He didn’t look too happy to say the least.
Ah, you’d get it at home.
For fuck sakes.
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
Y’know, when you got home, you thought you’d have to deal with a temper tantrum from Mingi. Never in your life did you think you’d be in Mingi’s lap as he fingered you.
You couldn’t even remember how it happened. The two of you got home without talking. Mingi had even went straight to his room first. You thought maybe he’d talk to you in the morning so you decided to shower and go to bed.
Only for you to come into the room after showering to see Mingi sitting on your bed.
Then you ended up here, legs spread as he curled two fingers inside of you, brushing against your prostate. Your body tensed as you let out a whimper, biting your lips to keep your voice down.
“Hyung…” Mingi finally said, resting his chin on your shoulder as he paid more attention to his fingers than your trembling body in his lap. “I know why you did it… you’ve been wanting attention for awhile and Miras just aren’t smart enough to truly appreciate you.”
His fingers curled inside of you, repeatedly rubbing the edge of your prostate. “But did you forget what I said? You don’t need them—you only need me.”
You bit your lip as you gripped at the bedsheets beneath you. Your cock was already leaking and ready to burst. It only took another graze against your prostate when you gasped, cumming against your stomach. You thought he’d pull away now but he didn’t.
No, he kept going. He now began to rub directly on your prostate, his free hand grasping your cock. You let out a whine as your body began to shake from the unknown feelings. No matter the fact you’ve only touched yourself like this before.
It wasn’t him fingering you—you’ve done that many times before.
But it was continuing.
“Mingi.. Mingi stop!”
Mingi quickly pulled away, grabbing your towel as he rubbed the cum coating your stomach. “Are you okay, Hyung? Did I hurt you?”
“No.. I just… I was just..” You sighed, allowing Mingi to pull you to lay down, resting your head on the pillow. “I got scared.. I don’t know why.”
“It’s my fault. I didn’t talk things out with you… you’ve celibate since forever so you don’t know how relationships work. I’m sorry, Hyung.”
“Relationships? Isn’t this… just a sexual relationship?”
Mingi glanced over at you, “sexual relationship? Hyung…” He moved to sit beside you. “This isn’t a sexual relationship. I love you.”
You sat up, staring at him in shock. You didn’t expect him to say it that time that you didn’t get to stop him. Your face felt red as Mingi only grinned. He leaned in and pressed a kiss on your lips.
As he pulled away, you didn’t know what to do. This whole relationship was going against what you believed was right. You as the Hyung and Mingi as the maknae. But Mingi didn’t want that—so who were you to force him into a brotherly relationship?
And deep down, you knew that you couldn’t view him platonically anymore. You haven’t tried hard enough to push away because you wanted it, even if your brain was saying no.
You leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek. When you pulled away, you almost giggled at the shocked look on Mingi’s face.
“I can’t say it right now… but… I’m willingly to try…”
Mingi looked almost relieved as he pulled you into a hug, pressing a kiss on your forehead. You cuddled him back, burying your face in his neck. The two of you stayed close before he pulled away.
“Now that we’re dating—can I buy something for you? Like a dress maybe..? I don’t want you to be a girl… but I like you being feminine.”
You bit your lip. “Really?”
“Yeah. I want you… to maybe be my Noona… How does that sound?”
“Mingi..!” You whispered, giving him an incredulous look before looking away. “Just… once.”
Mingi only grinned before pulling away. “Well, I gotta go to tell Yohan Hyung to fuck off now.”
“Mingi!”
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
Four years ago
Mingi didn’t think someone like you could cry. But here you were, crouched down in the corner of the dance practice room. He was here late to practice—against his mother’s wishes.
The first performance for the group’s debut song was tomorrow and he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t scared. He was nervous. Even if the company said he didn’t need to sing live—he wanted to. Sure dancing was important, but he wanted to show off how good he was at singing.
So he had came to practice live singing again just before the performance but then he saw you.
You didn’t seem to notice him for a second until his shoes squeaked against the floor. Your head shot up as you looked over at him and frowned.
The two of you haven’t gotten as close but Mingi could say that you were getting there.
“Mingi-Ssi…” you whispered, your voice cracking as you rubbed at your face. “Do you.. hate me?”
Mingi stared at you in shock. If only you knew that not even two days ago he found your mother’s account and immediately followed it. He liked every post that had to do with you.
But he guessed he wasn’t showing it… maybe… maybe he wasn’t viewing the relationship like you were.
He sighed and walked over to where you were, kneeling down. “I don’t hate you. I’m sorry, I know I was hostile before…”
You frowned as if you wanted to say something but stopped yourself.
Mingi knew he had to be honest. “I didn’t hate you… I was scared.” He whispered, glancing down at his hands. “I had to constantly prove to my parents that being an idol was a serious job that I tried my best to get into bigger companies but I kept getting rejected.
“After so many rejections my parents said I only had one my shot and after that I had to give up… I tried for this company and when they called me back I’m pretty sure I threw up. Ever since I just kept doing my best so they could debut me as soon as possible… and I guess when you got added to the group last minute… I got so scared.. so scared that they could kick me out last minute.
“I… I shouldn’t have taken it out on you but you’re so good, Hong (Name)-Ssi! You’re better at singing at me and I… I didn’t want the company to see my flaws when put against someone like you. I—!”
Mingi froze when he felt arms wrap around his neck. He then realized he was crying. He felt his throat burn as he buried his face in your neck and began to cry. You tugged him even closer, rubbing his head as a form of comfort.
He sat there, in your arms, for possibly close to an hour before you pulled away. You wiped at his face as you gave him a smile.
“Really…? That’s it?” You whispered, “I can teach you, Mingi-Ssi… I can teach you everything I know so you can be on the same level as me.. but honestly, I think you’re cool as is.”
Mingi blinked, staring at you as if you just confessed your love for him. He felt himself about to cry again as you giggled.
“Can… can I call you Hyung…?” He muttered.
You nodded. “I was waiting for you to ask, Minnie.”
The two of you stayed in the practice room for a bit longer. He didn’t end up practicing that night, just snuggled up to you as you both took a nap in the corner of the dance studio.
But Mingi would soon wonder… if you thought Mingi was cool… he couldn’t have been the person to make you cry. It wasn’t like he technically ever did anything wrong to you.
Who were you crying over?
And why did Mingi have a feeling it had to do with a certain someone.
Park Yohan.
I love writing Mingi. He’s fun. Anyway, yall gonna see into the mind of Yohan in part 4, yall ready? Gonna go heavy into more feminization in the next part, so if it’s not your thing… you gotta end it here now lol
Tag list: @euthymiko @iwishtobeacrow @onementally-unstabel-kid @jaxyy219 @hoshimochicchi @honey-valentin3 @bensontrechic @ofclyde @star-3214 @tehyunnie @love-kha1 @chill-guy-but-cooler @tomoeroi @mooncarvers-world @the-ultimate-librarian @mello-life25 @yuzuukix @smellwell @remdayz @cherry-blossoms-187 @kiiyoooo @secretivemessenger @me-when-life @bangbangdevotee @bangchansdirty-slut @chaevvonders
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autumnscribbles · 2 months ago
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truth | rc
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pairing: bsf!rafe x reader, rafe x sofia
summary: y/n overhears sofia and hollis unintentionally, and as rafes friend decides to tell him
warning: swearing, that’s about it i think
wc: 1.8k
a/n: thank you to the anon who sent this in! i’m loving the rafe angst lately, i’ve been having so much fun getting back into writing!! I legit couldn’t think of a title so for now there isn’t one lmaooo
part 2
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘
The fresh night air filled your lungs as you took a deep breath. You always loved walking at night. The air always felt better, the way everything quieted and slowed down always brought you peace. You loved to sit on the dock, listening to the crash of the waves. You watched the stars, mentally pointing out your favorite constellations as you spotted them.
You were brought out of your trance by a familiar voice coming from one of the boats in your vicinity.
“How much?”
You turned your head, leaning your body to try to get a good view. You spotted Sofia, sitting on a boat with that blonde lady you saw the other day. What was her name again? Holly?
“25, dear,” she said. “No questions asked.”
You slowly rose to your feet, trying to get a better view and be more in earshot. You had to stop your jaw from dropping when you heard the conversation. Twenty five grand for Sofia to convince Rafe to take the Goat Island deal. The well put together woman tried to make it same like it was for Rafe’s benefit, but you could tell by Sofia’s reactions that it wasn’t. She just wanted the money, she didn’t care how.
“What the fuck,” you whispered to yourself.
You saw Holly…Hollis! That’s what it was! She handed something to Sofia, and you caught a glimpse of what looked like cash inside. The conversation started wrapping up and you quickly picked up your pace, walking in the opposite direction and off the dock so neither of them saw you.
The sound of your shoes on the pavement sounded too loud in your ears as you hurried back to your house. You knew you weren’t supposed to overhear the conversation, but what were you supposed to do with that information now that you had it? You had to tell Rafe, right? He was your friend. You couldn’t let him get screwed over, especially not when he thought Sofia had good intentions.
You sat on the edge of your bed, breathing shallow as you went over everything you heard. You let out a mix of a sigh and a groan as you flopped onto your back, staring at the ceiling. You’d sleep on it, and decide how to go about telling Rafe tomorrow. You were supposed to meet him at the beach, maybe you could catch him alone before that.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘
The sun was bright and unforgiving, your eyes squinting automatically as you walked down the street. You decided you’d meet Rafe at his place before going down to the beach together. You needed to catch him alone.
You already felt the sweat forming on your forehead as you approached his front door, knocking urgently. When he didn’t answer, you knocked again. Eventually, the door flung open, his eyes half closed once the sun hit his face.
“Can you chill out?” he groaned, shielding the sun with his hand.
You could tell he had just woken up. Usually you’d feel bad, but honestly, you didn’t care. You needed to talk to him, to tell him what you heard and saw last night.
“Rafe I need to tell you something,” you said. “It’s important.”
He groaned slightly before stepping aside, silently inviting you in. He disappeared for a minute or two, arriving back with two mugs of coffee in his hand. You let him take a few sips, waiting for the caffeine to be in him before you started explaining. He needed to be alert and awake when he heard it.
“I was out at the dock last night, just clearing my head,” you started. “And I overheard something I think you should know.”
He stared at you, urging you to continue. His bright blue eyes were fixated on you now, fully awake.
“I saw Sofia and…Hollis?” it came out as more of a question. “I heard Hollis telling Sofia that she would give her 25 grand to convince you to sign the deal.”
“What?” Rafe said, his eyebrows ruffling together and his head shaking as he set his mug down on the coffee table beside him. “You must have misheard.”
“I saw Sofia take the money, Rafe,” you sighed. “I’m sorry, I know you really like her and everything but I really thought you should know and-”
“Just stop, y/n!” Rafe cut you off, raising a hand as if to pause you. “Spare me the fucking dramatics. Why are you trying to fuck with me?”
His jaw clenched, twitching as if he was biting his tongue. You hit a nerve, you could tell. You sat up a bit straighter, trying to show that you were serious. He wasn’t believing you. He didn’t want to think you might be right.
“I’m not!” you protested. “I just thought you should know. I think this Goat Island thing is sketchy, and she’s in on it.”
“Are you seriously that fucking jealous?” he asked, his voice raising as he stood up, towering over you. “You seriously can’t handle the thought of me being happy with someone so much that you have to make shit up?”
“Rafe this isn’t about Sofia!” you defended, standing up to match him. “I want you to be happy, but I can’t not let you know she’s being shady behind your back!”
“No, you know what y/n?” he asked, not waiting for the answer. “I’ve waited for you forever. Just waiting for the day you finally give me the time of day. For once, my attention is on someone other than you. And you can’t fucking handle it.”
You took a step back, your mouth opening slightly. You were at a loss for words. He really thought this was a jealousy issue? That you made up a whole complex story just because you don’t like Sofia? Sure, you were a little hurt when they got together. She was beautiful, and kind, and there were moments you wished he looked at you the way he looked at her. But this wasn’t about hurting her, or getting your way.
“You just loooooved pulling me around behind me like your puppy,” he continued, matching your step back with one forward. His voice lowered and his eyes narrowed, meeting your gaze. “You loved holding me close. You know how I feel for you, and you love it, y/n. You love the attention and you love how you can use it to your advantage.”
“Are you hearing yourself?” you screamed. “You’re fucking delusional Rafe. I’m trying to tell you something serious and you think this is just a love triangle? A lovers quarrel?”
“Stop messing with my head!” he shouted, tapping his temples with his index fingers. “That’s all you do, is fuck with my head! All the time!”
Your mind was reeling. Is that how he felt? Like you were just stringing him along. You never knew Rafe saw you as anything other than a friend. If you weren’t so focused on trying to tell him the truth, you would have held on longer to what he said about waiting for you. Did he mean he had feelings for you all this time? You always buried your feelings for Rafe, pretending they didn’t exist. It was easier that way. Easier to accept you’d never be together.
Rafe had always made your heart flutter, but the baggage that came with him often kept you at a distance when it came to getting closer. He was your friend, you cared for him. You never told him about how you truly felt, because you knew it would likely be a bad idea to be romantically involved. You assumed he’d never feel that way about you anyway, so you buried the hatchet.
“Fine,” you exhaled. “Don’t come to me when you find out your little girlfriend screwed you over. It’s your 400k, not mine.”
Trying to keep up an air of strength, you clenched your jaw. You wouldn’t cry, you wouldn’t react emotionally. He’ll find out the truth eventually, the truth always comes out. He’d admit you were right if you gave it time.
Until then, you walked out his door, leaving it open behind you. His earlier words still coursed through your mind. The mean ones, and the ones about his feelings for you, but as always, you swept them under the rug. You couldn’t face the truth yourself.
You felt something tug at your wrist, turning around to meet Rafe’s blue eyes once again. You thought they looked glossier, a sheen over them. Was he tearing up? No way, Rafe Cameron never cries. Not over this.
“Y/n,” he said lowly, a stark contrast from his previous shouting. “Tell me the fucking truth. Are you just saying this to fuck with me and make me question my relationship with Sofia?”
“No, Rafe,” you said honestly. “I know what I saw. This isn’t some ploy to get you to break up with her or be with me instead. I’m just trying to protect you.”
It was the truth. Despite how you felt about Rafe, you wanted the best for him. If Sofia was what was best, you’d support it. You almost wished you hadn’t seen what you saw at the dock. That way, you wouldn’t have to insert yourself in their relationship at all. You could continue to stand on the sidelines, watching his life pass with you becoming less and less present.
“Protect me,” he scoffed, mocking your words.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked harshly.
“Protect me from what, huh? My little poor heart being hurt?” he asked sarcastically. “It’s too late for that, y/n. You can’t protect me from anything when you’re part of the problem.”
You shook your head at him, at a loss for words. He clearly wasn’t done speaking, but you ran out of snarky retorts. You felt like you had whiplash from all the directions this conversation was going. He stared at you for a moment, his mouth slightly open, his hands running over his newly buzzed hair. You heard him release a quiet sigh, his head hanging down.
“No one will ever be good enough in your eyes,” he said, looking back up at you. “Not Sofia, and not me. I was never good enough for you, and Sofia isn’t good enough for me. So you can’t protect me from ‘heartbreak’, y/n. Because you are the problem.”
He pointed a finger at you, his teeth clenched together as the words left his lips. He turned around swiftly and walked back into his house, slamming the door behind him. Unable to process what just happened, you stared blankly in his direction, met with nothing but the front of his house. By trying to help, you somehow managed to make things so much worse, and so complicated.
“Now what?” you said to yourself under your breath.
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eff4freddie · 2 months ago
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Joel Miller x F!Babysitter Reader No outbreak Joel Miller AU - Words: 10k
Rating: Explicit, Minors DNI
You're working your way through medical school, supporting yourself by taking the occasional babysitting gig. One local single Dad needs someone to look after his 10 year old daughter Sarah on nights when he's late back from the jobsite. And it's all fine and good until your neglectful boyfriend decides to crash the party. Warnings: small age gap (Joel is 32, reader is in medical school), reader is babysitting Sarah as a side hustle to support her studies, Sarah is cute, reader has a shit boyfriend, Joel is trying really hard to resist, exhibitionism, thigh-riding, praise, dirty talk, thigh-humping, oral (f receiving), fingering, general defiling of a perfectly good granite countertop, Joel has opinions about how a woman should be treated as is not afraid to demonstrate them.
A/N: My attempts at writing PWP almost always end up like 10k lol. Whatever, I like a good slow burn. If you enjoy, comments and reblogs are always appreciated. Thank you - Freddie x
It was a hot night, the latest in a long line. You knew you were lucky getting to spend some of your evenings over at the Millers, simply because it meant you got to sit under Mr Miller’s air conditioner, the box wedged firm into the window in the living room, little droplets of water condensing and running down the pane of glass underneath it. You’d put a dishtowel down to protect the carpet.
You knew you were lucky, too, because once Sarah went off to bed you could spread your books over Mr Miller’s kitchen table, listening to the buzzing of the fridge as you tried to memorise the functions of the lobes in the brain. In class, your biomedicine professor had blown up balloons and handed out sharpies, inviting her students to draw the lobes in the right place, and yours had popped when you pressed too hard on the occipital lobe, and your lab partner had laughed and said that it was ironic, but you couldn’t figure it: the motor cortex would have been ironic, this was just startling.
You cracked your neck, rolling your shoulders and looking over to the clock on the wall. Nearly 10:30 PM. Mr Miller would be coming back soon.
Sarah was a good kid, and some nights she stayed up to ‘help’ you study, mostly by pointing to pictures in your textbooks and asking you to explain them to her. She’d hated the full-page coloured illustration of the eye, but had been fascinated by the heart, trailing her finger along the arteries, into the chambers, tracing the pathway in and out again. You’d make a cardiologist of her, yet.
Tonight, she’d only made it to twenty minutes past eight, her eyes growing heavy as she turned the pages of your book. This one didn’t have as many pictures, and you could sense her fatigue in the stuffy air.
‘What kind of doctor do you want to be?’ she’d asked, and you’d pulled your hair up off your neck to try and get some air on your skin. You weren’t sure how to explain it without sounding gruesome, without giving her nightmares. She was only 10.
‘When people have emergencies and they have to go to the hospital right away, they need to see a doctor to patch them back up again…’ you’d said, and she’d stared at you with a tiresome expression on her face.
‘I’m not a baby,’ she said, disapproving. You smiled at her.
‘Trauma surgeon,’ you replied. She nodded her head, deeming your answer satisfactory, and taking herself up the stairs to bed.
She was one of the easiest kids you’d ever babysat for, and over the years you’d racked up quite a roster. You’d started in high school, first saving up enough for the prom dress right in the storefront window, and then later keeping yourself fed during your undergrad. When you’d moved to Austin you’d rented a studio apartment in the back garden of a little old lady, a woman who had revealed herself to be an excellent cook if militant about her hydrangeas. You’d letterboxed the neighbourhood and picked up a few odd jobs but nothing lasting, until the evening you’d got a call from a very frantic Mr Miller, who was so beside himself he only asked how quick you could get there and didn’t even ask about your rates.
It turned out Mr Miller got caught up at the jobsite some nights, staying back later than he expected with his little brother to finish framing, or guttering, or wiring. He was running out of favours with his neighbours, he’d explained, and Sarah was still too little to feed herself. You hadn’t minded, his deep southern drawl doing something to you even over the phone, such that you found yourself cancelling plans just to go and sit on his couch that very evening, textbook over your knees.
Some nights with Sarah tucked up fast asleep you’d stand and stare at the pictures of the two of them, her holding up a soccer trophy nearly twice her size, him standing with his hand in his pocket, his other over the shoulders of a younger man you assumed was Tommy. If you were feeling particularly bold, or were procrastinating especially hard, you’d extend a finger and run them up and down the strings of Joel’s guitar, resting sentinel against the windowsill. You imagined his fingers pushing into the fretboard, the strings indenting the flesh.
It wasn’t even that he was handsome, although he definitely was. He was a young father, doing it almost entirely alone, and on any other man that would have made for grumpy, for overly tired, for entitled. On Mr Miller it made for kindness, for a nurturing type of strength, corded tight under his skin. For a single dad always thinking about his daughter, only ever wanting the best for her. For a man focussed on doing right for his family, small as it was.
You rolled your shoulders, the pre-frontal cortex just about beating you for the night. Just as you were wondering if the Millers kept any ice cream in the freezer, you heard the key in the front door. You listened as Joel followed the same routine, first toeing off his boots, letting out a little grunt as the second one hit the floor. You heard him huff as he stretched his back, rolling his hips in a little circle to try and get some stretch into them, before dropping his keys on the table and padding, surprisingly light on his socked feet, into the kitchen.
‘Hey, Sweetheart,’ he said, his pet name for you emerging on only the second time you’d sat for him and still, even after this many months, causing your stomach to do a little flipper.
‘Evening, Mr Miller,’ you said, and he tutted at you, moving over to the fridge and extracting a beer.
‘Told ya not to call me that,’ he muttered, but you could see the grin behind it. ‘How was my girl tonight?’
‘Perfect, as always,’ you said, smiling at him as he poured you a glass of sweet tea from the jug in the fridge without bothering to ask if you wanted any. You accepted it gratefully, suddenly noticing how dry your throat had become.
‘She’s a good kid,’ he said. He sat down, heavy, in the chair opposite you. The ceiling lamp buzzed above you both, and the light bounced off the fine sheen of sweat accumulating on his arms, on his cheeks. He glowed, even if it was under a layer of exhaustion.
‘You look tired, Mr Miller,’ you said, and he cocked a little grin.
‘You sayin’ I look like shit, Sweetheart?’ he asked.
‘No, never,’ you said, instantly regretting how quickly, how fervently, you had responded. He continued to grin at you, lopsided, the dimple on his right cheek popping out to greet you.
‘What is it tonight?’ he asked, and you held up your book to him. ‘The bio-mech-an-ics-of-thought: phys-ee-ol-o-gee of the brain,’ he intoned, before letting out a low whistle. ‘I don’t know how you do it,’ he said.
‘It’s interesting,’ you defended, unsure why. ‘So long as there are diagrams,’ you added.
‘So that’s where the magic happens?’ he asked, gesturing to the illustrated image of the brain in the centre of the page you had been working from.
‘This is where thought happens,’ you nodded. ‘Kind of like…where decisions are made.’
‘Must be a woman’s brain,’ Joel deadpanned, taking a swig of his beer. ‘Can guarantee men make their decisions someplace else.’
You caught a glimpse of something dark in his eyes as he glanced over you. You blushed, swearing it was just the heat, and furious with yourself. This wasn’t like you; you weren’t some shrinking violet type. You’d had boyfriends, you’d had fun in college. You had no idea what it was about Mr Miller that made you immediately go all giggly, all girly, but whatever it was you wished it would fuck off.
The two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence. You were used to this from him, the way his mind seemed to drift, the way he seemed content enough to let it. Gently, so as not to jolt him out of his thoughts, you closed your book, gathered your pens together. Everything tucked away in your bag you were surprised when you looked up to see he was watching you.
‘Apparently Sarah’s taken an interest in science,’ he said after a moment, his warm eyes watching yours for a second. You felt a tingle of pride in your chest.
‘Oh yeah?’ you asked.
‘Mmhmm, apparently after she pushed Simon Strzelecki off the monkey bars, she offered to patch him up again.’
You grinned before you were able to catch yourself.
‘That’s…very, umm…’ you trailed off and he huffed out a little laugh.
‘It’s very Sarah,’ he agreed.
‘M’sorry, Mr Miller…’ you started, but Joel stood up, waving you off.
‘Don’t be, Strzelecki’s a little shit’f the highest order,’ he said. ‘You gonna let me give ya a lift this time?’ he asked, and this time you shook your head at him.
‘No, I can walk it.’
‘Y’know I don’t like ya walkin’ around out there on yer’own,’ he grumbled, and you felt the insane urge to reach your hand out to rest on his bicep, to ease his evident discomfort.
‘I can handle it,’ you said, instead.
Something stole over his face for a moment, a sharpness in his eyes. For a moment you gazed up at him, the furrow in his brow deepening, the muscles in his jaw twitching as his eyes roamed over your face. Standing this close to him you were reminded how tall, how broad he really was. You dropped your eyes to his arms, crossed over his chest, and imagined him holding you with them, circling them around your back as you leant, safe, into his skin. You blinked yourself back to reality, worried for a second he could read your thoughts.
‘Know you can handle it,’ he said, his voice low, ‘just don’t like it, is all.’
You did this every time, this stand-off. You worried one night you would waver.
‘G’night, Mr Miller,’ you said, over dry lips. He nodded, once, at you, still evidently displeased something dark, something haunted, passing over his features before he brought them back into line.
He stood on the front porch, light still on, until you rounded his driveway and disappeared past the oak tree by the front lawn.
--
Mick was a guy from your Tuesday morning bio class, and you only realised he was your boyfriend when he introduced you to a few of his friends that way. You’d just gone with it, because it had seemed easier, and he was nice if a little full of himself at times. He was the son of the one the big ranching families, had been almost guaranteed a position at whatever college he chose on the day of his birth, hadn’t ever really considered that money was something you saved, something you worked for.
But he would never let you pay for dinner, and often he showed up to class holding a coffee just for you. You’d been on your own for a long time, had been self-sufficient well before you had any business to, and it was kind of nice to let yourself be cared for, if that’s what this was.
On nights when you had to work he would pout and complain, and you told yourself it was because he cared about you, because he wanted you around, even if some part of you knew he just didn’t like to be alone. Every once and while he would ask if he could come with you, ‘feel you up on the couch like it’s eighth grade’, and it made you feel exactly fourteen years old, like this was a summer job you had failed to grow out of. It didn’t help that he more than once referred to your sitting job as ‘cute’. His mother had stayed at home the moment she fell pregnant with Mick’s older brother, and as far as you could tell was yet to leave. You never asked about a future with Mick, terrified of what kind of picture he would paint.
On one such evening, after he’d been particularly insistent that you blow off your job and come and hang out with him and his friends, he’d starting blowing up your phone just as Mr Miller sat down beside you, weary-boned and sleepy-eyed, at his kitchen table.
You ignored the calls, tried to carry on reading even as Mr Miller arched his brow at your insistently vibrating device. You huffed, knowing at some point Mick would get bored.
‘You’re popular tonight?’ Joel prompted after a while, making you lose your place in the paragraph you’d read over at least ten times already.
You huffed out a sigh, reaching out and scrolling through the stream of notifications. He’d started texting, sometimes just sending a single emoji, sometimes entire paragraphs about how badly you were letting him down. You felt an ache bloom behind your right eye socket, and you reached up to your temple to try and massage it away.
‘It’s my boyfriend,’ you told him, and with your eyes still closed you didn’t see him scowl. ‘He wants me to come out to some bar with him and his drunk friends.’
Joel considered this for a long moment. When you opened your eyes they blurred under the sudden light, and you blinked away sleep to see him clearly again.
‘You should be out with your friends, it’s a Friday night…’ he said, almost looking guilty for a moment, and you rushed to reassure him.
‘No, no trust me…this is better. They’re boring when they’re drunk. And also when they’re sober.’
Joel smiled, straining just slightly, at this.
‘He a good man?’ he asked, and you scoffed a little.
‘He’s barely a man at all,’ you said, automatically. Later you’d reflect on this moment, feel it turn you inside out and scold your skin with the heat of your own shame. For now, though, you were too tired, and it was too hot in the kitchen, for you to catch it.
Joel caught it, though. He cleared his throat.
‘We met at college, and he’s…well, he’s kind of set up for life. He doesn’t have to worry about grades, or proving himself. He’s almost guaranteed his residency.’ You were aware you were starting to sound bitter, and maybe you were just a little. Something about Mr Miller, sitting at his kitchen table late in the evening with a beer, muscles wrapped in a plaid, his soft brown eyes watching you carefully, made you think he’d understand.
‘He doesn’t make you feel good enough for him?’ he asked, after a while.
You considered this, eventually shrugging your shoulders. ‘I don’t know if he makes me feel anything,’ you said, truthfully.
Joel leaned forward, elbows on the table, his chin resting in his hand as he watched you, gazed at your face.
‘What do you want him to make you feel?’ he asked.
‘Seen,’ you said, without hesitation.
‘Just seen?’ he asked. His voice was deathly quiet now, almost entirely gravel. His eyes were burning, sharp. You watched as they darkened, stealing your breath out from under you.
‘Desired,’ you almost whispered. He dropped a hand to the table, his fingertips only inches from yours, resting casual on your textbook.
‘What man’s out there runnin’ round this town not desirin’ you?’ he asked, almost as though he couldn’t believe it, and you felt scorching heat on your cheeks, rushing down your sternum, pooling heavy in your core.
You blinked, terrified to move in case you broke whatever spell had befallen him. He turned thoughtful, his eyes dropping to the woodgrain of the table.
‘Y’been working a lot here…can’t imagine hanging out with me and a ten-year-old girl is the same as bein’ out there, living your youth…’
You felt something heavy shift in your belly, something essential curdle and erode.
‘I like it here, Mr Miller,’ you said, all big eyes and almost quivering lower lip. Joel moved away, sitting up straight and peeling the label off his beer.
‘Pretty thing like you, shouldn’t be spendin’ all night waitin’ on us,’ he said, almost to himself. You shook your head again, but he was closing off on you, you could see it in the way his shoulders were folding, the way his mouth was tugging down at the corners.
Without even considering it, operating almost entirely on instinct, you reached your hand out to rest on his bicep. You watched as his eyes drifted close, a long exhale through his nose. He grimaced, almost like you were hurting him, until he lifted his hand and held yours fast to him, wrapping his paw around you.
‘I really love spending time with Sarah,’ you said, just over a whisper, as he stared hard at the table. You could sense he was avoiding your gaze, and you wanted to say something to draw him to you, wanted to give him a little nugget of truth that he could take into himself, hold deep and quiet in his depths. ‘I love spending time with you,’ you said.
He raised his eyes to yours. His hand was so warm over yours, your cheeks so pink in the sleepless heat of the late evening. You saw his eyes fall to your lips and you slipped your hand from under his, reaching up to trace the contours of his jaw with your fingertips.
‘Baby…’ he whispered, ‘I been’ resistin’ you so long, don’t know if I can…’ and you pushed a finger to his lips. You didn’t want him to break whatever spell you were both suddenly under. Didn’t want him to take this from you both, whatever it was turning out to be.
‘Don’t argue,’ you instructed, quietly. With brows saddled, he nodded his head.
And he didn’t argue. Not when you moved your finger from his lips and traced it down over the hollow of his neck, over to his pulse where it thundered under your tough.
Didn’t argue when you leant forward, pressing your nose to his, giving him time to pull away, to move from your lips.
Didn’t argue when you pressed them to his, a little soft and quiet thing, earning you a wanting gasp from him, a prize you would hold in the cavity of your chest so long as your heart stayed beating.
Later, when you had gathered yourselves, when he had gazed at you and you had felt the want in him mixing with the regret, with the necessity of the un-having corrupting the want to take and take and take, you had simply gathered your books, tucking them quiet and neat into the bag at your feet. He didn’t argue with you about driving you home that night, suddenly quiet in a way that set your teeth on edge, and you felt an ache in your belly you couldn’t account for when he closed the door. You waited behind the trunk of the tree at the end of his driveway, counting the minutes he left the light on for you after you’d slipped from view, giving up when you got past 15.
--
You were unsettled. Joel hadn’t called for two weeks, and you were starting to worry that you’d ruined things, your silly little kiss bubbling corrosive at the base of your spine. You couldn’t help going over the whole evening again and again in your head.
You should have told him you preferred spending the nights at his house, that the way it smelt like play-dough and sometimes sawdust, sometimes pine, was so unique to the both of them that you felt your nerves settle the moment you stepped over the threshold. That the house was warm and quiet, that you could spread out your books and something essential to you, that in this space with them you felt more yourself than anywhere else on the planet, even locked away in your little studio apartment, even just you and your reflection in the bathroom mirror.
You wanted to tell him Sarah was funny, and smart, and kind, and being around her made you nostalgic for the childhood you never had but ached for, that you felt all that time with her she was giving you something precious and absent, something simple and something sweet. That there were nights you weren’t sure who was sitting who.
You wanted to tell him you didn’t expect anything from him, that it didn’t matter to you if nothing ever happened, if he regretted letting you kiss him, if it had just been that it was too awkward in the moment to say no. Just that you wanted to keep sitting for him, just that if all you got was a casual conversation at the end of the evening and an argument about driving home that would be enough for you, because it would have to be, and so you could make it so.
You begged off seeing Mick for the second Friday night in a row, wanting to be available in case Joel called. You felt silly but you could use the cash. Your textbooks were $400 a piece, and next semester you were taking three classes. Just feeding yourself was enough to stop your studies in their tracks.
Two things happened in the span of ten minutes. A knock at your door stirred you from your lecture notes, and your phone rang. By the time you had it in your hand you were holding Mick back from your face, your palm to his chest, as you craned your neck away from him to speak.
‘M’sorry, Sweetheart, it’s just…I know, it’s a Friday…’
‘It’s fine, Mr Miller,’ you said, ignoring the way Mick was making smoochy faces over your shoulder. ‘I don’t have any plans.’
When you got off the phone Mick was pouting again, and you sighed.
‘I thought I was your plans?’ he said, and you shrugged at him.
‘It’s good money for easy work, babe,’ you said, the nickname sitting heavy on your tongue.
‘I can give you money,’ he said, pulling you towards him by your belt loops and nipping at your jaw. You cringed away from him.
‘That would make me your whore, right?’ you said, and he grinned at you, wiggling his eyebrows.
‘Never seemed to bother you before…’ he said, and you bristled against him.
‘The fuck does that mean?’
“Oh, fuck me, babe, make me yours…” he imitated, his voice high in a general approximation of yours. You blushed, furiously. ‘You think good girls beg like little whores?’ he asked, and you knew he was kidding around, knew that he wasn’t smart enough to do it without outright insulting you, knew that you’d put up with this shit before so there was no reason why he wouldn’t assume he couldn’t get away with it now. You knew the way he spoke to you was basically your fault, and you couldn’t yell at him now that the precedent had been set. You felt yourself crumple, landing with a thump on the edge of your bed.
‘I’ll tell you what,’ he was saying, grinning at you like he’d won his prize. ‘You put the kid to bed, and I’ll come by and keep you happy ‘til Dad gets home.’
You hated the idea, the thought of Mick in that space you’d almost come to think of sacred making your stomach churn.
‘No,’ you said, and you watched as he arched his eyebrows in surprise. ‘You can’t come in…’
‘Say no more,’ he said, grinning again, and for whatever reason, you didn’t.
--
He arrived, just after 9 PM, already drunk. You winced as he parked his car in the driveway, right in Mr Miller’s spot, worried for a moment he was going to swipe the mailbox when he took the angle too fast. He skidded to a stop mere inches from Mr Miller’s garage door and you exhaled, realising you were bracing for the sound of splintering wood. He ambled over to where you stood on the front porch, tugging at your shirt sleeves in the cool night air.
‘Babe!’ he called, and you shushed him almost instantly. He was carrying a sixpack of beers, three of them already gone. His breath reeked and you wrinkled up your nose when he slung his arm over the back of your neck and pulled you in for a sloppy kiss.
‘This feels like high school,’ he said, and giggled.
‘This is my job, y’know,’ you corrected him, but he wasn’t hearing you, backing you up against the side of the house. You thumped into the brick, wind temporarily knocked from your lungs before he was on you, slipping his entire tongue into your ear in a way that made your skin crawl.
‘Easy…’ you said, and he ignored you, his hand not holding the beers rising up to paw at your breast over your shirt.
‘Mmm…such a tasty little slut,’ he said, and you closed your eyes. ‘Little naughty baby-sitter.’
‘Keep your voice down,’ you stage-whispered, not sure how well your voices wouldn’t carry over the breeze in Mr Miller’s cul-de-sac. He leant down, resting the beers on the front porch so that he could grope you with both hands.
He groaned as he rubbed his cock at your clothed centre. You moved your face to the side, letting your eyes slide closed again.
You tried to think of a romantic movie. Tried to remember some of the fragments of the romance novels your mother had kept stowed under the bed and that you snuck into the den to read to your giggling friends. Tried to imagine a different man, a stranger’s hands on your chest, a stranger’s fingers pinching at your nipples. Tried to imagine what it would feel like if they found the sweet spot, if they sent electric shocks into your belly, into your cunt. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push the sound of Mick’s heavy breathing out of your mind, focusing instead on rough and calloused fingers, the scruff of a beard teasing along your skin. Heavy accent and sweet pine, a groaned little ‘Sweetheart…’ as he slipped your shirt up over your shoulders.
‘The fuck’s going on here?’ you heard a gruff voice as your eyes sprang open, pushing Mick from you hard enough that he stumbled, backwards, landing on the grass.
‘Mr Miller!’ you exclaimed, shame burning bright on your cheeks as you righted your clothes. ‘M’so sorry, he just dropped by…’ you started but Joel was striding up his driveway, as you realised with a new flash of guilt he’d had to park on the street.
‘Hey, man…’ Mick was saying, his hands up in front of his face. ‘Just checkin’ in on my girl…’
You cringed, this particular pet name always feeling more like ownership when it came from him.
Joel looked up at you, his brows saddled. ‘You OK, Sweetheart?’ he asked you, and you realised for the first time he wasn’t angry but concerned, his fists balled up like he was ready to spring to your defence.
‘It’s Mick,’ you explained, glancing down at him as he tried to climb to his feet, getting as far as his knees and settling there for a second to plan his next move. ‘He…he wanted to…’
‘Yeah, I saw what he wanted to,’ Joel huffed out, reaching down to pull Mick upright by the back of his shirt. ‘Saw the way you were bracing away from it too,’ he said, looking directly into Mick’s grinning face.
‘What else you see, old man?’ he asked, and Joel dropped him back onto his knees.
‘You got your keys?’ he asked him, and waiting for the younger man to root around in his pockets.
‘Don’t steal my ride,’ he said, handing them over and not noticing when Joel slipped them into his pocket.
‘M’going inside, and I’m gonna call you a taxi, and you’re getting in. She can drive your car back to you tomorrow mornin’…if she doesn’t decide to drive it off a cliff,’ he said, abandoning Mick on the front lawn and coming towards you, grabbing your wrist gentle but firm in his hand and pulling you inside. ‘C’mon, darlin’,’ he said, and you followed, almost entirely on autopilot.
‘I’m so sorry, Mr Miller,’ you started but he waved you away, placing a call for the taxi while keeping you fixed in your spot with his glare. When he was done, he rolled his shoulders, sighing.
‘You sit,’ he said, striding into the kitchen and emerging moments later with two glasses of sweet tea. You realised, as you lifted your hands to take your glass from him, that you were shivering.
‘I didn’t know he was going to do that,’ you said, and Joel shook his head. You felt the waves of disappointment rolling off him and you worried for a moment you might cry.
‘He always touch ya like that?’ he asked, palming at the back of his neck.
‘Like what?’ you asked, your cheeks burning again.
‘All…clumsy and…disrespectful,’ he said, quiet. He stared at the floor between you while you perched on the edge of the couch.
‘Well…’ you started, but you weren’t sure how you wanted to finish that sentence. Sometimes he doesn’t even bother to touch me at all, you thought.
Joel scoffed, his jaw squeezed tight. ‘Guys like that are all the same, Sweetheart, just…selfish. Even in the bedroom. No lady should be touched like she’s a piece of meat.’
You considered, for one crazy moment, if Joel wasn’t so much disappointed in you as he was in Mick’s prowess. Suddenly you had to stifle a giggle.
‘What’s so funny?’ Joel asked you, surprised.  
‘Just…I mean, they all go to such fancy schools, get all that college for basically free…’ you started, trailing off when you saw him starting to smile. ‘He can’t even boil an egg, and I don’t mean mine,’ you said, and he laughed then, free and loud, and the sound of it made a little fizzle of joy spark up your spine.
This was fun, you realised, shitting on your terrible boyfriend with the most handsome single Dad you’d ever laid your eyes on. This was really, really fun.
‘So, I take it he don’t make you breakfast in the mornin’,’ Joel joked, and you snorted. ‘What you eat for breakfast, anyway?’ he asked, turning to you now, his eyes crinkling at the corners. You swallowed. ‘No, wait,’ he said, ‘let me guess.’ He pretended to look you up and down, his brow arching as he considered. ‘You’re not a waffles kinda girl,’ he said, thoughtfully. You grinned and shook your head. You’d never liked the sponginess. ‘But you’re too fun for plain old oatmeal,’ he said, and you felt a blush crawling across your chest. ‘You’re a pancake princess,’ he decided, finally. ‘Am I right?’
You pretended to consider it for a second before nodding happily at him. ‘Maple syrup and berries,’ you agreed.
‘Maple syrup and berries,’ he said, grinning in his victory. He paused, something passing between you. Suddenly he shifted forward, his knees just barely brushing yours. You found yourself mirroring him, leaning in enough that you had to put your hand out to steady you, landing it on the cushion only inches from his thigh. You could feel his warm breath on your cheek when he whispered in your ear, ‘tart…but a little bit of sweet for m’sweetheart.’
You felt heat scorch its way up your chest, reduced to kindling beside him.
‘Bet he don’t kiss ya like ya should be,’ he said, and you thought for a second of Mick, grinning and drunk out of his mind on the front lawn. You wondered if the taxi had come for him yet, and had absolutely no interest in going out to check on him.
‘Mr Miller…’ you whispered, and he groaned, then, his eyes rolling back in his head.
‘Please, baby, when you call me that…’ he trailed off, eyes blown wide and you felt, then, the thundering in your chest. From this distance you could see his racing pulse in his neck, the same pace as yours.
‘Mr Miller…’ you said, again, staring now at his lips. You wanted to reach out and just take a little nibble.
And he was on you, grasping the back of your head and bringing it down to him, crashing his lips into yours as you gasped, swallowing the echo down into his throat. His tongue, scorching hot, exploring your mouth as he teased it open, the scruff of his beard tickling your cheeks.
‘Thought about you…’ you said, without even thinking, and Joel pulled back a second to appraise you; your swollen lips, your doe-eyes gazing up at him.
‘Say that again,’ he mumbled.
‘When he’d take me, I’d think about you,’ you said, and you watched as his eyes fell shut, taking the moment to glance down at his heaving chest, the aching bulge between his legs. ‘Thought about your hands on me, Mr Miller, about your mouth.’
‘Fuck, Sweetheart…’ he said, almost as if it pained him, before his eyes snapped back open to gaze at you.
‘Kiss me?’ you asked, sweet as you could for him while you tried with both hands to hang on to the moment, to stay here in it with him. You would need to remember this, every corner of the room, every detail. Would spend nights reconstructing his face in your mind, the way he was looking at you now, wanting and red-cheeked, dark eyes and a hot little huff as your words landed their blows on him.
‘Canna touch you, baby?’ he asked, and you were nodding, pulling him towards you as he slid his hands over your waist. Threading your hands through his hair he brought you over him, straddling him on the couch as he stared up at you, brows arching high, as if he couldn’t quite believe it was happening. You smiled at him, feeling like his prize, as you brought your hips down on him and watched his eyes ease shut, heard his breath stutter. He was big, you could feel it even as the seam of his jeans rubbed at your core. You could feel yourself aching for him, hot and pounding where you ground yourself down.
‘Fuck, Mr Miller…’ you gasped as you felt him push his cock up into you, his hands on your hips and pulling you down.
‘So beautiful, baby,’ he whispered, reaching up with one hand to cup your breast, squeezing the nipple between his fingers that, even through your shirt, shot lightning bolts to your cunt. You gasped, a high-pitched little sound you were sure you’d never made before, and he soaked it down into his skin, kept it held tight and precious in the core of him, to keep him warm on cold evenings.
You felt yourself shivering, even as his warm fingertips dropped to lift the hem of your tee and trace their way back up to your tits along the skin. His enormous hands almost completely captured it, and you felt small, then, and shy, but when you looked down into his warm, brown eyes you saw only safety there, only naked desire for your pleasure.
You let your hips roll, that building ache in your core. You’d only ever felt this alone, had never had another person bring it out of you, and you felt the sharp edges of it as you felt a shard of panic slice through your gut. No one had ever done this for you, before. You weren’t sure if your body would allow it, weren’t sure if you could let go enough to fall.
‘Hey…’ Joel said beneath you, his eyes roaming your face. ‘Relax, Sweetheart,’ he whispered, reaching his hand from your hip to your jaw, pulling you down to rest your forehead on his. ‘Just you n’me, baby,’ he whispered as you rocked on top of him. ‘You can take what you need,’ he promised. ‘I got you.’
‘Joel!’ you gasped, the shiver in your body now ratcheting up your spine, your thighs burning as you rolled your hips on his lap, his cock still tucked away in his jeans. ‘I don’t know if I…’
‘Sssh…’ he cooed, raising a thumb to your lips and slipping it between your teeth. You sucked instinctually, swirling your tongue over the tip and letting your eyes drift closed. ‘Just feel it, baby,’ he said, ‘don’t force it. Let it grow.’
Never in your life had you felt like this. You took his thumb between your teeth as you ground, the spark of fear in your belly engulfed by the roar of your desire. You could feel your hips stuttering, could hear yourself starting to pant.
‘Good girl…’ Joel encouraged, slipping his thumb from your mouth now and smearing it across your lips. ‘Right here for ya, baby,’ he said. ‘Wantchya to feel so good.’
You cried out, smacking your hand over your mouth to stifle your cries. He was going to kill you, and you would let him again and again, let him bring you back to life just to kill you this way all over again. You had no idea bodies were made to feel this good.
‘Oh!’ you gasped, all the warning you could muster as he grabbed your hips with both hands, slamming his bulge up into you as he pulled you down, the seam of his jeans rubbing hard into your clit. ‘Yes!’ you whispered, your body shuddering as you felt yourself crest, the pleasure roaring from your cunt to your chest, exploding out of your skin as you rolled, roiled, boiled on top of Mr Miller.
‘Jesus, there she is…’ he whispered, and you opened your eyes to gaze down at him, your breath still coming in gasps as he watched you, awe and desire on his face. ‘There she is,’ he said again, like a prayer, a benediction.
--
You woke slowly, the dappled light streaming in through the oak tree beside Joel’s window. It took you a moment to orient yourself, to remember that you were in his bed because he’d considered it too late for you to take yourself home, even if you had Mick’s car. Because the pleasure he’d wrung out of you on his couch had left you boneless, because the idea of ripping yourself from his smell, from his heat, was unthinkable in that moment.
You stretched, noting that the other side of the bed remained made, that he had spent the night on the couch. You remembered that you had wanted to ask him to stay, that the words had formed on your lips, and that in that moment you saw the regret on his face, the longing to tuck himself in beside you and pull you into his chest, let the weight of the night take him and you with him, but that he wouldn’t allow it, that he was holding back. You weren’t sure why, but you assumed out of decency, out of respect. Out of some vague employee-boss professionalism you would both cling to in an attempt to paper over the grasping maw of desire opening up between you.
You had wanted him, and you had denied him, allowed him to deny you. You rolled to your back in a frustrated huff, surrounded by the scent of him, of his cologne and the scent of his skin imbued in the sheets beneath you.
After a while you heard noises in the kitchen and you left your cocoon, pulling your clothes on and padding down the stairs constructing a cover story for Sarah as to why you were still there. When you rounded the corner, though, you saw only Joel –in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else, standing at the stove.
‘Hey, Sweetheart,’ he said casually, as if you hadn’t come on his lap less than twelve hours before, ‘Sarah’s headed off to soccer practice, so you and me’ll have to take care of all these.’
He gestured over his shoulder to the kitchen table, where a stack of cooling pancakes stood proud. You felt a shiver of shock run though you at the sight of them, turning to Joel with the curl of tears tickling the back of your eyes. ‘No berries, sorry darlin’,’ he said, without looking up. ‘But we got enough syrup to make it up to ya, I hope.’
You weren’t sure anyone had ever done anything like this for you. You wanted to sob, wanted to walk over to the table and pick up the pancakes in your fists and mash them into your skin, wanted to drown them in syrup and eat until your belly distended, wanted to force feed them into Joel. Instead, you stepped forward, your arms opening all of their own accord, wrapping yourself around his back like a Koala. He huffed out a surprised laugh, growing serious when he turned you in his arms to face him, seeing the gathering tears at your waterline.
‘Hey, what’s this?’ he asked, and you grinned, watery, up at him.
‘No-one has ever…’ you started, catching your words before they spilled too much of the truth. Understanding passed over Joel’s face.
‘Oh, my sweet girl…’ he said, and you glowed for a minute, the words reaching down into your chest and igniting something long extinguished.
He leaned down towards you, pressed his nose to yours, his forehead resting gently on yours. You inhaled him, his scent and the sweet smell of the pancakes on the stove, tried to imprint the memory deep in your DNA.
‘What the fuck is this?’ an angry voice sounded from behind you, and you snapped away from Joel, taking several steps back. Mick, still in his same clothes from the night before, stood furious in Joel’s kitchen.
‘The fuck, you let yourself in?’ Joel asked, matching Mick’s anger with his own. ‘This is a private residence, man.’
‘That’s my girlfriend, man,’ Mick spat, his face twisting into an ugly mask you weren’t sure you’d ever noticed on him before. ‘The fuck you doing feeling her up? You stealin’ my car and my girl?’
‘Mick…’ you started but he was ignoring you, advancing on Joel. You stepped towards him, hands up to placate, but Joel was suddenly beside you, tucking you behind him and shielding you with his broad chest.
‘Back up, buddy,’ Joel said, a whispered warning.
‘Me, back up?’ Mick seethed, about to go on before Joel interrupted him.
‘Yeah, you back up. You need to sit your arse down and learn yourself somethin’,’ he said, advancing on Mick so that the younger man took several steps backwards, heading towards the kitchen table. You wondered if anyone had ever actually stood up to him, if usually his wealth was enough to make people cower. He backed into a kitchen chair, slamming down into it with a thud as he stared up at Joel, the older man red faced and pointing a finger at his chest. ‘You think that little display last night was any way to treat a woman?’ he grit out. You watched as Mick shook his head no. ‘You think she enjoyed that, being pawed at in the dark like a fuckin’ street walker?’ he asked.
‘She looked pretty whorish a few seconds ago,’ Mick responded, petulant and stupid. You could see by the way Joel braced his shoulders, his back expanding in resplendent fury, that Mick had made the wrong fucking choice.
‘Ya little shit,’ Joel said, stepping back from Mick and towards you. He held his arm to you, beckoning you into his chest and you went to him, tucking yourself against his side.
‘You have a woman like this, you fuckin’ cherish her,’ Joel muttered, tracing his fingertips along your side and making you shiver. ‘Look at these pretty little tits,’ he said, moving to cup them as you blushed, tucking your face into his neck. You heard Mick’s sharp intake of breath, mirroring your own as Joel rolled your nipples through your shirt. ‘The way you were grabbin’ at ‘em last night, you think that felt good? You make her groan like this?’ he asked, applying just the right amount of pressure on the sensitive nubs, eliciting a moan from you, unbidden.
‘Listen, man, this is…’ Mick started but Joel cut him off with just a look, stern and disapproving, before his face shifted back to adoration when he turned to you.
‘Let’s show him, baby?’ he asked, his brows saddled high. You knew you were safe with him, that at any moment you could call it off, but you wanted this. You wanted Mick to see what Joel could do to you, the sounds you could make. Wanted him to feel small and insignificant in the presence of a real man, of real pleasure. Wanting him to see what money couldn’t buy.
You nodded your head at Joel and watched as the grin bloomed over his face. ‘M’good girl,’ he said, quiet enough that only you could hear it, and you felt the bolt of want shoot down into your core. Your cunt already aching, already dripping for him.
‘Show me where,’ he said, stepping back as you surveyed the space. You nodded towards the kitchen island, the bench just above your hip height. Joel nodded, lifting you up easily to perch on the edge, your body facing Mick as he sat, frozen, at the table in front of you.
‘Slip these off, baby,’ Joel said, tugging at your sweatpants and you lifted your hips as he slipped them, your panties along with them, out from underneath you. The granite countertop cold on the top of your thighs you revelled in the sensation of it, the hard, cold surface so different to Joel’s hot body as he hovered at your side.
‘Show him,’ he said, tapping you on the knee. You spread your legs, hooking one thigh over the edge of the counter and the other widening out to your side, your cunt unfolding before the two men in front of you. You watched as Mick’s face turned pink, sweat appearing on his brow. You turned to look at Joel, the hunger in his eyes as he devoured every inch of your skin. He reached over, running his fingertips over the inside of your thigh, moving closer to you, leaning over your body to whisper into your ear.
‘You’re dripping onto my countertop, baby,’ he said, and you could hear the glee in it, the wanting.
‘For you, Joel,’ you clarified. ‘Not him.’
‘Nah, never for him, I reckon,’ Joel agreed, his fingers slipping further towards your slit. You felt totally exposed and wanton, whorish, as Mick had put it, and your cunt was pulsing, aching from the desire of it. You felt like a priceless piece of art admired in a big city museum, like a stripper opening up her legs for hoards of braying men, like a girlfriend letting her disappointing boyfriend know in no uncertain terms he would no longer neglect her. You felt power coursing through your veins and into your cunt, your slick pooling on the top of your thighs as the most beautiful man you had ever seen stood beside you and teased the pleasure from every nerve.
‘Fuck…’ you whimpered as Joel’s fingers landed light and dexterous on your clit, the little bundle of nerves sending the pleasure roaring through your core and into your chest. You bucked your hips, nearly slipping from the countertop, Joel coming forward again to brace you against his chest.
‘God, look how much she wants it,’ Joel said over your head to Mick. ‘Bet you’ve never made her jump like that.’ You opened your eyes, not even having realised they’d closed, to watch Mick swallow hard and heavy. You beamed back at Joel, letting the pride in his face radiate warmth down upon you.
‘So good f’me, so good t’me,’ he said, spreading your lips apart with his fingers and pushing a fingertip inside. You gasped, shock on your face at the intensity of the need for him burning where he touched.
‘Please…’ you whimpered, just wanting more and just wanting him to never stop, just wanting him to reach inside you, to wring the pleasure out of you, to make you come so hard you forgot your own name.
‘Sshh…’ he cooed to you, ‘your boyfriend needs to concentrate so he can learn.’
You emitted a squeal of frustration, bucking your hips on his hand to try and draw him in, earning you only a chuckle from Joel.
‘Ok baby, m’sorry. Just like teasin’ ya,’ he grinned at you, before sliding two fat, rough fingers hard into your cunt.
For a second you lost touch with reality, your head flying back to the ceiling as sensations strong enough to take your breath roared from your cunt. The stretch was delicious, the heel of Joel’s hand rubbing hard at your clit as his fingers reached deep inside you, opening you up for him, your slick gathering in his palm.
‘Look how wet she gets,’ Joel noted, over his shoulder to Mick. ‘Such a shiny little cunt when she’s drippin’ like this. You ever work her up like this?’
You heard Mick grunt, a pleading note of displeasure, and you sighed as Joel started pumping, stoking the fire in your cunt that threatened to eviscerate you and everyone within the vicinity.
‘Joel!’ you gasped, rolling your hips again, trying to shove him deeper into your greedy little cunt as it grasped at him.  
‘Could lick ‘er up, whatchyu reckon?’ Joel asked, already getting down on his knees as you groaned, certain now he was going to send you into the stratosphere. ‘Can I, baby?’ he asked, and you nodded, frantic, unable to form words.
‘Bet she tastes sweet,’ Joel said to Mick, who was inching closer in his chair, peering over Joel’s shoulder as your cunt swallowed his thick fingers. ‘Like watermelon on a hot summer day. You ever taste her, Mick?’ he asked. You watched as the shame bloomed over Mick’s face. Joel scoffed. ‘Course not, ya fuckin piss weak little prick,’ he spat before turning, diving in to lick a fat stripe at your folds, settling in to lap at your clit as his fingers worked you.
You screamed, sucking in huge lung-fulls of breath just to let them keen out of you, your hips slamming shut on Joel’s head as he sucked at you, every nerve ending screaming now as you felt the blooming heat of release.
‘Oh, he’s gonna make me…’ you said to Mick over Joel’s shoulder, watching you with owlish eyes.
‘Don’t talk to him,’ Joel admonished you, pulling your focus down to him as he perched between your legs, ‘you talk to me,’ he said.
‘Sorry, Mr Miller,’ you said, watching as his eyes rolled shut, a shiver passing over his shoulders.
‘Be the death of me…’ he muttered, returning his attentions to your pulsing cunt. You gripped his hair, rolling your hips on his face and rocking into him, chasing the release now gathering at the base of your spine.
‘Jesus…oh, fuck…’ you cried, trying desperately to warn him, your eyes slamming shut only to open in shock as he found new ways to wring the pleasure from you.
Joel worked you up, his tongue never fatiguing, setting up the perfect rhythm to hold you just on the edge. You could feel your sweat pooling on your skin, the heat in your cunt spreading down your legs, the pull of the knot in your belly.
To your utter dismay Joel stopped, lifting his face to address Mick at his shoulder. ‘You ever make her squirm like this?’ he asked, and you cried for him, then, scrabbling to grip his shoulders, his chin, to push him back to your desperate cunt. He laughed, nipping at your fingertips as they passed by. ‘Look at her graspin’ for me. You seein’ this? This is what real pleasure looks like.’
You cracked open an eye, the room spinning around you as you fought to regain control of your limbs. You saw the look of shame embedded deep into Mick’s face now, the sight of it somehow intensifying your pleasure, the building pressure in your cunt.
‘Fuck me,’ you gasped, turning your attention back to Joel, his eyebrows shooting up. ‘Show him how to fuck,’ you groaned, pushing off the countertop and spinning up onto your toes, laying chest down on the granite now hot to the touch from your writhing body on top of it. You spread your legs a little, knowing that your puffy little cunt lips would be revealed to them both, and you heard them both groan, Joel’s chesty moan full of grit, Mick’s high pitched and brimming with regret.
‘Don’t do this, man…’ he pleaded, and you heard Joel’s little scoff.
‘That’s the thing, buddy, the lady always gets what she wants.’
You felt him come to stand behind you, heard the rustle of his sweats as he pulled his cock over the waistband. It took everything in you not to turn and admire it, knowing in that moment you would have plenty of opportunity.
‘Fuck, she’s got me weepin’,’ Joel said, and you heard the unmistakable sound of skin on skin as he wrapped his hand around himself and tugged. ‘Got me harder than a railroad spike, this little cunt…’ he muttered. You whined, swivelling your hips to try and entice him, begging him to move faster as the walls of your cunt fluttered for him. You heard him sigh, a happy little sound. ‘Ok, baby, I’m here,’ he said, running a hand up your spine to hold you gentle and firm at the back of your neck, the head of his cock nudging at your cunt. ‘Gotta be gentle with my sweet little pussy,’ he said to you, leaning over you to place a chaste kiss in the cup of your shoulder blade.
‘Please, let him see it stretch me,’ you said, and you felt Joel shudder, notching himself at your entrance.
‘Keep talkin’ like that and I’ll chain him up in the basement, make him watch me fuck you every day,’ he muttered, pushing gently at first, the tip enough to make you gasp.
He was big, you realised. All of this time working you up he’d been leading to his moment, preparing to tease you open. ‘Oh, shit…’ you gasped as he pushed.
‘You ok, baby?’ he asked, pausing until you nodded, frantic, hands gripping at the edge of the counter for purchase as you pushed back into him, sliding in a few extra inches, as Joel moaned.
You were dimly aware that Mick was moving, coming to stand in front of you, a look of sorrow and unabashed heat on his face.
‘Please, can I?’ he asked, rubbing himself through his pants and you swatted him away.
‘No, fuck you,’ you said, emboldened by Joel’s desire for you, by his cock currently splitting your folds. ‘You never get this pussy again,’ you hissed at him, and you felt a bloom of pride at the look of hurt crossing his face just as Joel cheered from behind you.
‘That’s my beautiful girl!’ he gasped, bringing a finger to your clit and rubbing tight circles into it, making you gasp as you let your head fall, resting on the countertop. ‘So good f’me.’
The burn in your cunt from the way he stretched you abated, the pleasure Joel was giving you from your clit causing more slick to gather, your cunt grasping him again, your walls fluttering as you felt the ache turn to sweet pleasure, to a blooming rapture.
You lost touch with the ground, Joel’s harsh thrusts pushing you further up the counter, completely at his mercy as your legs hung useless beneath you, hands braced against the granite to give him purchase. In this moment, spread out on his cock, your cunt open and dripping for him, the pleasure ripping the words from your brain, gasps racking your throat, you felt completely under Joel’s spell, his touch, his heat. Mind-numb, thoroughly fucked out, gripped in this moment between the build up and the threshold of release.
‘Oh, you’re gonna make me…’ you warned but Joel had you, was there already with you.
‘I know, baby, I know,’ he grunted between thrusts. ‘Can feel it, can feel that sweet little cunt grippin’ me.’
You cried out, nodding your head furiously, entirely at his mercy now. ‘Yes, yes…Joel, it’s gonna…’
‘Let it go, baby,’ he moaned, and you felt none of the panic, none of the terror at your impending release, wrapped up safe in Joel’s body, in his groans of rapture, in the pull of the knot as it threatened to snap entirely.  
‘Watch me make her come,’ he spat out over your head, and you were only dimly aware of what he was saying as your release sped towards you.
You writhed, your breath stolen from you by the roar of the wildfire across your chest. The push of your orgasm slipping you under, crashing your body into the shore, rolling and quaking underneath it as indescribable lust coursed through your veins.
‘Oh, fuck, there she goes,’ Joel spluttered, his hips stuttering as he started to deepen his thrusts. ‘Gonna fill up ya girl,’ he grit out, his final movements sloppy and desperate as he approached the edge.
‘Do it, baby,’ you whimpered beneath him, words finally able to escape the cage of your throat. ‘Need you.’
He did, then, his come exploding into you and washing you clean, cleansing you of Mick, of all your disappointments, of all your fears. You looked back over your shoulder at him as he crested, his eyebrows saddled and his eyes trained on you, a look of reverence and hunger, of sweet shock, as though he couldn’t believe how good it felt either, as if everything for him was also slotting into place, as if he knew in this moment he would never let anyone separate you, would never let anyone take you from his side, that in his moment you were his just as much as he was yours, that this was a forging of something solid and essential, something vital and something precious, something that was just for you.
--
You didn’t remember Mick leaving. Didn’t care to say goodbye.
Joel had peeled you off the counter and carried you upstairs, drawn you a bath and lowered you gently into the water, sat beside you and washed your body as you lulled in and out of a light sleep.
Drying you off he wrapped you up in his clothes, swamping you in cotton and his scent, before promising to make you a fresh batch of pancakes. You hadn’t let him, whimpering when he tried to leave your side, pulling him down beside you on the bed and wrapping his arms around you.
Later you would figure out lunch, and then Sarah, and then the rest of your lives. For now, you had each other, and cool sheets, and the light patter of rain as a welcome cool breeze blew new life over the garden beneath Joel’s window.
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daryltwdixon · 2 months ago
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Teach You
Daryl Dixon x Reader
warnings: smutttttt
notes: daryl has 0 game, 0 experience, and is eager to please. I thought about this as I was falling asleep last night and couldn't wait to write it for you. Inspired by Norman saying if Daryl ever got down and dirty there would be premature ejaculation
She/her pronouns, foreplay only, gets straight to it
The invitation had been innocent enough, though Daryl had found a way to make it a minefield in his head. Dinner at her house. Nothing fancy, she’d said. Just them, some canned spaghetti, and maybe a drink.
He’d almost said no, but the way she’d looked at him—smiling soft and easy, like she wanted him there more than anyone else—made him mutter, “Yeah, alright.”
Now, he’s sitting on her couch, shoulders stiff, his crossbow propped awkwardly by the door. She hums in the kitchen, clinking dishes together. He wonders if it’s too late to leave.
“Don’t sit too quiet in there,” she calls, teasing. “You’ll scare the furniture.”
Daryl huffs a laugh through his nose. “Furniture don’t need me to make it nervous.”
She steps into the room, carrying two mismatched bowls. “You kidding? You’re terrifying. Real menace, Dixon.” She hands him a bowl, sitting close enough for her thigh to press against his.
Daryl shifts, his grip tightening on the bowl. “S’not what people usually say.”
She gives him a sidelong glance, lips quirking. “What do they say?”
He doesn’t answer, staring into the spaghetti like it’s gonna save him. She leans in, the bare skin of her arm brushing his, and he forgets how to breathe.
“You’re not used to this, huh?” Her tone is light, but her eyes are searching.
He shrugs. “Dunno what ‘this’ is.”
“Someone flirting with you,” she says, blunt as ever, setting her bowl aside. “How’s that feel, by the way?”
He almost chokes. “Ain’t what you’re doin’.”
“It’s exactly what I’m doing.”
His ears burn, and he fights the urge to stand up and bolt. “Y/N—”
She cuts him off, leaning closer, her voice dropping to something softer. “If I haven't made it abundantly clear lately: I like you. A lot.”
The words hit him harder than any walker ever could. He swallows, glancing at her, then quickly away. “Ain’t right.”
“Why not?”
“I’m… too old.” He shifts again, looking anywhere but her face. “You could do better.”
Her laugh is quiet, almost disbelieving. “You really think that?”
He nods, his jaw tightening. “Don’t got think ‘bout it. It’s true.”
She tilts her head, watching him for a long moment. Then, setting her hand lightly on his knee, she asks, “When’s the last time someone told you you’re wrong?”
He tenses under her touch but doesn’t pull away. “Not wrong—”
“Daryl,” she interrupts gently. “You’ve got this whole big, twisted idea in your head about what you deserve. And it’s bullshit.”
He stiffens. “Ain’t—”
“Bullshit,” she says again, firmer this time. “And I’m gonna prove it.”
She stands, setting her bowl aside, then his, and turns to face him. Her hands are on her hips, her gaze steady as she looks down at him. “Can I ask you something personal?”
He frowns but nods hesitantly.
“Have you ever… been with someone?”
His face flushes crimson, and he drops his gaze to the floor.
“That’s a no, then.” Her voice is warm, not teasing, but it makes him flinch anyway.
“Don’t mean nothin’,” he mumbles, fidgeting where he sits.
“It means everything,” she counters, stepping closer. “Because if no one’s shown you what it feels like to be wanted, how’re you supposed to know?”
His heart hammers against his ribs as she moves between his knees, crouching down and resting her hands lightly on his shins. He stares at her like a deer caught in headlights. “What’re you doin’?”
She smiles, tilting her head. “Only what you want me to. But you have to tell me if you do.”
He swallows hard, his hands gripping the edge of the couch. “I...I dunno.”
“It’s okay to want, Daryl,” she murmurs, moving her legs up and onto his lap with a slow, deliberate movement so she's straddling him, her hands now resting delicately on his shoulders.
His breath catches, and he freezes, his hands hovering uselessly in the air, "Okay," he breathes.
Her voice drops lower, softer. “You don’t even know where to put your hands, do you?”
“I— I can’t—”
She gently lifts his wrists, guiding his hands to the curve of her hips. “Start here.”
He stares at her, wide-eyed, his fingers twitching against her waist. “You sure ‘bout this?”
“I’ve never been more sure.” She says, her hand coming up to cup his jaw, the touch sending electricity into his skin, “I’ll show you what you’ve been missing. Only if you want me to.”
His grip tightens slightly, a shuddering breath escaping him. “Yeah. I want it. I want you.”
Daryl barely has time to process anything before she tilts his chin up, forcing his gaze to meet hers. Her hands are steady, her expression soft but laced with something deeper-desire, maybe? His throat goes dry.
"First things first," she murmurs, brushing her thumb along the line of his jaw. "You ever kissed anyone before?"
He shakes his head, his breathing becoming irregular.
Her smile softens as it spreads across her face, endearing and non judgmental. She leans in, her breath warm against his lips. "Then let me teach you."
Her mouth brushes his softly, testing, like she's giving him the chance to pull away. He doesn't. Instead, his hands tighten on her hips as she deepens the kiss, her lips moving against his in a way that makes his head spin.
"Relax," she whispers against his mouth, pulling back just enough to guide him. He exhales shakily, his shoulders dropping slightly. When she kisses him again, he leans into it this time, his lips parting hesitantly.
She hums in approval, her hands threading into his hair, tugging gently to encourage him. He nearly lets out an inhuman noise at the feeling of her fingers curling in his hair, but he swallows it down, instead focusing on her soft lips on his.
"That's it," she breathes, her voice low and sultry. "Just follow me."
Her tongue traces the seam of his lips, and he jerks slightly, his breath hitching. She pulls back, laughing softly. "You okay?"
"Yeah," he rasps, his face burning. "Just... wasn't expectin' that."
"Well, get used to it," she teases, leaning in again. This time, when her tongue slides tentatively into his mouth, he meets her halfway, mimicking her movements as best as he can. It's clumsy, but she doesn't seem to mind, her soft moans sending heat straight through him. It suddenly occurs to him that she might be enjoying this just as much as hime.
As the kiss deepens, her hips begin to move, rolling slowly against his lap. Daryl tenses, his fingers twitching against her sides as she grinds against him, finally drawing a low, shaky groan from his throat.
Her lips brushing against his stubble and eventually against the shell of his ear where she whispers, "You like that?"
"Yeah. Feels-feels good." he nods, swallowing hard.
She smiles, pressing a kiss to his jaw before pulling back just enough to grab the hem of her shirt. Slowly, she lifts it over her head, tossing it aside to reveal bare skin and soft curves that leave him staring, wide-eyed and trozen.
"You're beautiful," he mutters before he can stop himself, the words tumbling out unfiltered.
Her smile softens, and she cups his face in her hands, searching his eyes. "Could say the same about you. Touch me, Daryl."
His hands flex nervously on her hips, now pressing into bare skin that feels hot to the touch. "Don't wanna mess it up."
"You won't." She reaches for his hands again, guiding them upward until his calloused fingers brush the swell of her breasts. He sucks in a sharp breath, his touch featherlight and hesitant.
"Is this okay?" he asks, his voice rough with uncertainty.
"It's perfect," she murmurs, arching into his touch. "Here, let me show you."
She places her hands over his, guiding his fingers to knead and explore, her soft sighs of pleasure encouraging him. He grows bolder with each movement, his thumbs brushing over her nipples, drawing a gasp from her lips.
"Like that," she breathes, her hips grinding down harder against him. "You're doing so good, Daryl."
Her praise sends a jolt of heat through him, and he pulls her closer, burying his face against her neck as his confidence grows.
"Never done nothin' like this before," he admits, his voice muffled, his lips tracing the column of her neck and moving down to her shoulders, onto her clavicle and chest.
"You're a fast learner," she says breathlessly, tugging his hair gently to make him look at her. Her lips find his again, hungrier this time, and he responds with a desperation that surprises even him.
His hands continue their kneading of her breasts, traveling around her to hug her tight against him, the swell of them pressing into his clothed chest, his hips beginning to move instinctively beneath her. The thought occurs to him that he hates clothes.
She gasps against his mouth, breaking the kiss to press her forehead to his.
"You're incredible," she whispers, her voice breathy. "I've wanted this for so long."
Daryl swallows hard, his chest heaving.
"Don't know what you see in me, but... I don't wanna stop."
"Then don't," she murmurs, kissing him again. "I'll take care of you. Just let me."
With newfound confidence—or maybe just desperation—Daryl leans forward, pressing his lips against the soft skin of her chest. He works his way down, his kisses slow and clumsy, but she doesn’t seem to mind. Her breath hitches when his mouth brushes between the swells of her breasts, and when he kisses the top, then the underside, he swears she arches into him on purpose, trying to drive him out of his damn mind.
Then, tentatively, he takes her nipple into his mouth. The sound she makes—low and ragged—has his cock straining so hard against his jeans he thinks he might lose it right there. Her hands bury themselves in his hair, tugging lightly as his tongue flicks out, testing, tasting her. She gasps, and that sound drives a hunger in him he’s never felt before.
His hips shift beneath her as she continues grinding against him, her movements deliberate and unrelenting. The friction is almost too much, the ache in his lap unbearable. He grips her hips hard, trying to slow her down. “You’re gonna drive me crazy,” he mutters, his voice rough, lips brushing against her neck.
She exhales a shaky laugh, a smile teasing her lips. “That’s kinda the point.”
Before he can respond, she leans back slightly, her hands moving to the waistband of her jeans. “Here,” she says, popping the button open with practiced ease. His breath catches as she begins to slide the zipper down, revealing the curve of her hip.
His mind races. He’s never had a woman like this before—so wanting for him, so sure of herself. His chest tightens at the thought of messing this up, of not being enough for her. But at the same time, his heart pounds with anticipation. God, he’s thought about her like this more times than he can admit. What her skin would feel like. What her lips would taste like. And now, it’s happening, and he feels so far out of his depth he doesn’t know where to begin.
She must notice his wide eyed stare, because her other hand tilts his chin up then, catching his gaze, "Only if you want to," she says again.
His throat is suddenly very dry, and all he can do is nod.
She smiles, and his chest tightens. She guides his hand beneath the waistband of her jeans, the soft skin of her pubic bone brushing his fingers first. The light tuft of hair there is the only thing rougher than her skin, and when his fingers graze lower, they slide easily over the slick heat of her center.
A growl rumbles in his chest, unbidden, as he realizes how wet she is. For him. His head spins, his blood roaring in his ears. When his fingers dip lower, pressing into her, her walls clench around them greedily. She moans—loud, uninhibited—and the sound nearly undoes him.
"Yes, Daryl, that's it," she breathes. "Curl them, baby."
He does as she says, his fingers pressing into her, finding that soft, spongy spot that makes her cry out and buck against him. His palm brushes against the swollen nub at the apex of her sex, and the way she moves against him, grinding against his hand, has him gripping her hip with his free hand to ground himself.
“Goddamn,” he mutters, his voice raw as he watches her, awestruck.
She’s beautiful—blissed out and needy, her body moving with his like they’ve done this a hundred times before. He can’t take it anymore. His free hand comes up, fingers curling lightly around the back of her neck as he pulls her down to kiss him. The kiss is desperate, hungry, and the little sounds she makes against his lips make his body tighten unbearably.
“Don’t stop,” she gasps against his mouth, her voice trembling. “I’m so close.”
Her words send a jolt through him, and he groans low in his throat, the tension in his core mounting to an unbearable peak as he groans against her lips, gasping for breath as his high flushes through him. Before he can stop it, his release hits him hard and stars break against his vision. Her whimpers rise to full on ragged moans as she presses into his hand then one last time, his fingers knuckle deep inside her as they press against her spongey walls as she tightens around them, sucking his digits further into her as the climax breaks over her.
His chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath, her kisses trailing down his jaw and neck as her hips slow, her ragged breaths giving way to soft, contented sighs.
When she pulls back, her cheeks flushed and her eyes hooded with lust, she looks down at him and smiles. “Did you just…?” she asks, her gaze dropping to his lap.
His face burns as he remembers himself, the wetness in his pants prominent as they both look down. Slowly, he pulls his hand from her, the loss of contact making her frown slightly. He bows his head, shame tightening his chest as he presses his hands into his lap.
“That is so hot,” she murmurs, her voice rich and warm, not even a hint of laughter behind it.
Daryl’s head jerks up, his breath catching in his throat. “Hot?” he rasps, his voice cracking slightly.
She nods, her smile soft and utterly disarming as her fingers trail along his jaw. “Yeah. You’re so worked up just from me, Daryl. That’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Her words make his head spin. She’s serious—dead serious—and it hits him like a freight train. She isn’t mocking him, isn’t annoyed or disappointed. She likes him. Wants him. And not just in some passing way.
“You really mean that?” he mumbles, his hands twitching where they return to rest awkwardly against her hips.
Her brow furrows slightly, her expression turning tender. “Of course I mean it. You have no idea how crazy you drive me, do you?”
He stares at her, stunned silent, his heart hammering in his chest. He doesn’t understand it—can’t wrap his head around why someone like her would want someone like him—but the look in her eyes leaves no room for doubt.
Her lips brush against his, slow and teasing. “Wanna go again?” she whispers, her voice like honey. “I’ve got a few more things I can teach you.”
His heart stutters, and he swears the heat in her gaze alone could undo him all over again. She’s not just enjoying herself—she’s reveling in it, like she’s been waiting for this moment as long as he has.
“Yeah,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, rough and hoarse. He swallows hard, his body stirring again despite the lingering haze of his release. “Yeah, okay.”
Her smile widens, and it’s nothing short of radiant. She leans in, her mouth covering his in a kiss that feels deeper this time, more confident. He lets himself relax, his hands finding her waist, and for the first time, he lets himself believe this is real—that she’s here, wanting him, and not judging him for a second.
Her hips roll against him again, slow and deliberate, and his fingers tighten instinctively on her waist. When she breaks the kiss, her lips curve into a smirk, her voice dropping to a sultry purr. “Good. ‘Cause we’re just getting started.”
Part II
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catboyieejeno · 2 months ago
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NEED MORE BF MARKKK
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bf! mark would be so, so easy to love effortlessly.
Just imagine the way he’d show up on your first date—a little nervous but doing his best to hide it with that signature easygoing smile. He’d bring a hoodie or jacket for you “just in case it gets cold,” with that mix of boyish charm and thoughtfulness that makes your heart race. Might overdo it with the cologne ngl... but it's unbelievably endearing.
"Jeno. Smell this."
Jeno snorts, pushing it back. “Dude, I’m not smelling your sweatshirt.”
“Come on, man. Just smell it.” Mark insists, wiggling the fabric at him.
With a sigh, Jeno brings it to his nose and takes a cautious sniff—then immediately recoils, gagging and waving his hand in front of his face.
“Bro, did you dunk this in cologne?” He gasps, holding it at arm’s length. “She’s gonna need a gas mask just to survive.”
Mark frowns, glancing at the sweatshirt. “I thought it needed a couple sprays…”
As things get more serious, he’d make a habit of sending you little surprises that show he’s thinking of you. You’d find a random playlist from him waiting in your messages one day, labeled “For you” with the one giggling emoji, filled with tracks he thinks you’d love. He’d stay up late making it, mulling over how you’ll react to each song.
He’d invite you to hang out with his friends one weekend, blending you seamlessly into his life. When you’re there, you’d see his quiet, protective side come out—he’d stay close to you, keeping an arm around the back of your chair or brushing a hand over your shoulder to make sure you’re comfortable. He might not even realize he’s doing it, but everyone would notice the way he softens around you, the way he’s always got a careful eye on you, ensuring you're having a good time. If you so much as shiver, he’d immediately offer his jacket with a shy, “Here, just take it, okay?”
And if he sees that you’re having a rough day, he wouldn’t ask too many questions or push you to talk; he’d just show up with your favorite drink or snack, a hoodie, and some silly videos he’s saved just to see you laugh. When you’re ready to open up, he’d listen so intently, holding your hand, never interrupting.
When he’d kiss you, it would start out gentle, with him leaning in a little slowly, his eyes flicking to yours to make sure to watch how dazed you become when he gets so close. His lips would be soft, barely brushing against yours at first, before he’d press in a little deeper, savoring the feeling. He’d hold your face in his hands or let his thumb trace along your jaw, taking his time. He might laugh softly into the kiss, his hands slipping to your waist to pull you closer or just hold your hips, rubbing slow circles on your skin or squeezing if you make any kind of sound. God, hearing you hum or moan during a kiss would absolutely drive him insane.
"Just like that," he'd mumble, "I love the pretty sounds you make for me."
"You like it when I kiss you there?" and if you didn't answer, he'd let his hips hover, not giving you what you want.
"How about this?" A kiss on your shoulder, "Hmm?" another on your chest, "Is this okay?"
"Shit, baby, c'mere." if you've been kissing anywhere but his lips for too long, he always finds himself craving them.
His lips would be anywhere, on the corner of your lips, on your cheek, your jaw, your neck... fingers trailing on your waist and squeezing your flesh. I feel like he's on the shyer side when the two of you are doing mindless tasks or around friends, but for some reason, when he's so wrapped up in you in these private moments, he'd groan and whimper without restraint. There's a sliver of shyness left, a tell being his flushed skin and the way he'd bite his lips, but otherwise, he's giving you his all.
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jackmanwife · 3 months ago
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Professor!Logan has always been professional, but you can’t ignore the way he looks at you during his lectures anymore. It’s subtle— a look that lingers on for far too long when you raise your hand or a small smile when you answer a question correctly— but it’s enough to make your cheeks grow hot. He leaves you little notes on the papers he turns back to you, too, and you save every last one of them. Study material. “You're smarter than most of my other students,” he praises, but you just giggle out a small "Thank you."
Professor!Logan is starting to catch on. Sitting in the front row, you're doing all sorts of things to catch his attention. Twirling your hair around your finger a little, biting the tip of your pen, crossing and uncrossing your legs. When he looks your way, you make sure to hold his stare, letting your eyes drop to his lips before flashing a small smile. After class, he orders you to stay behind, but you know this isn’t about the paper you turned in. “You’re not just interested in the material, are you, sweetheart?” When he walks around his desk, he doesn’t sit. Instead, he stands in front of you, towering, and you look up at him, keeping your eyes on his. “You’ve been distractin’ me for a while,” He steps closer, and your back presses against his desk, “You want me to show you what happens when I stop holdin’ back, darlin’?” His hand slides up your thigh, fingers brushing against the hem of your skirt, teasingly close to where you’ve been needing him all this time.
Professor!Logan knows you're back for more. He’s got his reading glasses perched on his nose, running his hands through the stack of papers in front of him, “This couldn’t wait until office hours?” he asks, not looking up as he marks a paper and flips to the next one. You take a slow step forward, shrugging, “No, I…” He looks up now, leaning back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. “I wanted some extra help.” Logan’s eyes narrow slightly. You swallowed, “I just need to understand the material you taught today better,” you said, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way your voice wavered. Logan chuckles softly, lips curling into a smirk, “Is that so, darlin’? Because from where I’m sitting, it seems like you’ve got a…” His eyes take you in, looking you up and down, “different kind of help in mind.”
Professor!Logan is usually calling you back to his office after a long lecture. You’re sitting on his desk, legs dangling over the edge as he stands between them, his hands running up your thighs. “You sure you understood everything, sweets?” His lips brush against your ear before he presses a kiss onto it. One of his large hands slips around your waist, his fingers pressed firmly on your back, pulling you closer to him. You nod, leaning into his touch. “That’s good,” his thumb brushes gently over your cheek as he tilts your face up to his, “Been thinking about you all day, you know that?” He murmurs. You nod again, barely able to find your voice as his thumb brushes over your lip, and the look in his eyes tells you he’s just started.
Professor!Logan likes to keep you around now. You walk down the hallway to his office, a hot cup of coffee in your hand. You noticed the light still on under his door and couldn’t help but think about him working alone, grading papers into the early hours. Knocking softly, you step inside when you hear his short “Come in.” When you do, Logan looks up from his laptop, brows raised in surprise before they rest as he smiles. “What’re you doin’ here this late, darlin’?” He sounded so tired. You hold out the cup, and he takes it from you, his hand lingering on yours. “Thought you could use this,” you murmur, watching as he takes a sip, his eyes never leaving yours. He sets the cup down on his desk and shakes his head, “Always lookin’ out for me, huh? Come here,” he pats his open lap, “Keep me company for a while.”
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moonlightwritingf1 · 1 month ago
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Unspoken Desires | LN4
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🌙 summary ━━━━━━━ Lando and Y/N have been dating for a few weeks but haven't been intimate yet. As they're getting ready to go out one night, Lando suddenly confesses his intense desire.
🌙 pairing ━━━━━━━ Lando Norris x she!reader
🌙 word count ━━━━━━━ 3.1k
🌙 warnings ━━━━━━━ +18, sexual content
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"I’ve never wanted to fuck someone as badly as I want to fuck you right now," Lando said, his voice low and rough, cutting through the silence like a knife. His words hit her like a punch to the gut, leaving her breathless and hot all over.
She glanced up at him, her heart racing, and saw the intensity in his eyes—a raw, unfiltered need that made her own body respond in kind. He wasn’t hiding it, not even trying to play it cool. The way he looked at her, it was like he was seeing straight through to her core, like he knew exactly how much she wanted this too. And maybe he did. Maybe he’d been picking up on the little cues, the way her breath hitched when he got too close, the way her thighs pressed together when he leaned in to kiss her neck.
He had always been good at reading her.
---
It started about three weeks ago, during one of those late-night encounters that seemed harmless at first but quickly spiraled into something much more. They had been hanging out at his place, just talking, laughing, the kind of easy chemistry that makes time disappear. But then his hand brushed against hers, just a fleeting touch, and suddenly the air between them felt charged, electric.
"What are we doing?" she asked, unable to keep the nervous edge out of her voice.
Lando had leaned back in his chair, studying her for a long moment before answering. "I don’t know," he admitted, his tone measured but his eyes telling a different story. There was something there, something simmering just below the surface, and it wasn’t hard to guess what it was. Desire. Pure, unadulterated desire.
And yet, neither of them made a move. Not then, anyway. Instead, they fell into a rhythm, a dance that involved lingering glances, stolen touches, and endless teasing. It was intoxicating, thrilling, and frustrating all at once. Every time they got close, something held them back—a fear of ruining what they had, perhaps, or maybe just the uncertainty of where things were headed.
But tonight? Tonight feelt different.
---
The two of them were standing by the door, coats draped over their arms, ready to head out for the night. Or at least, she had been ready. Now, with Lando’s words still ringing in her ears, she could barely think straight. Her pulse pounded in her temples, and her skin felt overly sensitive, like it was buzzing with anticipation.
"Lando," she managed to say, her voice trembling slightly. "What… what are you saying?"
He stepped closer, crowding her space until there was only an inch or two between them. His hands found her hips, fingers gripping lightly but firmly, anchoring her in place. "I’m saying," he murmured, his lips brushing against her ear, "that I want you. Like I’ve never wanted anyone else. And yeah, maybe we’d only been dating a few weeks, but fuck it. I don’t care about playing it cool anymore."
His confession sent a shiver down her spine, and she felt her resolve starting to crumble. He wanted her. No games, no pretense—just raw, undeniable desire. It was overwhelming, but in the best possible way.
"Are you serious?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Lando pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, his expression fierce and unapologetic. "Dead serious."
The weight of his words settled over her, heavy and irresistible. She could feel the heat radiating off his body, smell the faint scent of his cologne mingling with whatever he had for dinner earlier. It was intoxicating, drawing her in like a moth to a flame. And honestly? She didn’t want to resist.
"Then what are we waiting for?" she challenged, lifting her chin slightly.
A slow, wicked grin spread across his face, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. Then, without warning, he grabbed her wrist and yanked her toward him, pressing his lips to hers in a kiss that was equal parts demanding and desperate.
Her bag slipped from her shoulder, hitting the floor with a dull thud as her free hand clutched at his shirt, pulling him closer. His tongue swept into her mouth, urgent and insistent, and she could taste the sharpness of his mint gum, mingled with a hint of something darker, wilder.
Lando’s hand slid up her side, tracing the curve of her waist until his fingers dipped beneath the hem of her top, brushing against the warm expanse of her skin. A soft gasp escaped her lips, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, devouring her mouth like he couldn’t get enough of her.
"God, you feel so fucking good," he muttered against her lips, his voice rough and strained.
She tugged on the collar of his shirt, urging him closer, and he responded by lifting her effortlessly, setting her down on the nearby table. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, pulling him flush against her. The sudden intimacy of the position made her breath hitch, and she could feel the evidence of his arousal pressing against her center, a delicious reminder of just how badly he wanted her.
"You feel so good," he murmured against her mouth, his voice low and gravelly, almost possessive. His fingers traced the curve of her hip, skimming over the fabric of her jeans before dipping beneath the hem. The touch was electric, sending shivers down her spine. "I can’t stop thinking about how perfect you are."
Perfect. The word made her heart stutter. She was far from perfect, but in this moment, with Lando looking at her like she was the only thing that existed, it didn’t seem to matter. His green/blue eyes bore into hers, stripping away any doubt, any insecurity. All she could see was the intensity in his gaze, the way it flickered with need.
"Lando…" she breathed, her voice shaky. Her hands found his shoulders, gripping him tightly as if he might disappear if she let go.
He responded by pressing her harder against the table, his hips aligning with hers. The friction sent a jolt of pleasure through her, unrelenting and undeniable. His lips left hers, trailing down her jawline, nipping at the sensitive skin just below her ear. "Tell me you want this," he whispered, his breath hot against her skin. "Tell me you want me."
Want. The word hung heavy in the air, a demand disguised as a plea. She did want him. God, she did. But there was still a part of her holding back, questioning whether this was what she really wanted or if it was just the heat of the moment talking. Lando seemed to sense her hesitation because he pulled back slightly, his eyes searching hers for an answer.
"I want you," she said, her voice steady despite the storm raging inside her. "I’d never wanted anyone like this before, but..."
"What’s wrong?" he asked, his voice softer now, almost vulnerable. It was such a stark contrast to the dominance she had felt moments ago that it caught her off guard. "Do you not feel it too?"
She shook her head quickly, feeling guilty for making him question himself. "No, it’s not that. I do feel it. I just—" She paused, unsure of how to explain the tangle of emotions swirling inside her.  "I’ve never been this close to someone before. Not like this."
His expression softened, the corners of his mouth lifting into a small, reassuring smile. "I have," he admitted, his voice steady. "But none of it ever felt like this. This is different. It’s real, y/n. Can’t you feel it?"
She nodded, unable to deny the truth in his words. There was something different about this, something that felt raw and unfiltered. It wasn’t just about the physical attraction—though that was undeniable—it was about the connection, the way their hearts seemed to beat in sync.
"Then stop overthinking," Lando said, his tone playful but firm. "Just feel."
And with that, he kissed her again, deeper this time. His tongue parted her lips, exploring every inch of her mouth with an urgency that left no room for doubt. One hand traveled up her side, slipping beneath her shirt to press against the bare skin of her lower back. The other slid around to the front, palming her breast through her bra.
The sensation was overwhelming, her body arching involuntarily into his touch. A moan escaped her lips, swallowed by his as he continued to kiss her with a fervor that set her blood ablaze. The world around them faded away, leaving only the two of them in that moment, lost in each other.
"You’re so beautiful," Lando breathed, his voice ragged. His thumb brushed over her nipple, already hard with arousal, and she gasped against his mouth. "Every part of you."
His words sent a thrill of pleasure through her, her mind spinning with the implications. She’d never felt this desired, this wanted. And it was intoxicating. “Lando…” she whispered, her voice barely above a murmur. “Don’t stop.”
His response was immediate. He broke the kiss, pulling back just enough to meet her eyes. “I won’t,” he promised, his voice thick with intent. “Not unless you tell me to.”
The weight of his words settled over her, leaving no room for uncertainty. This was happening. Right here, right now, with Lando looking at her like she was everything he’d ever wanted. She nodded, her decision made without a single doubt.
“Then don’t,” she said, her voice steady despite the pounding of her heart. “Take me.”
His pupils dilated at her words, the hunger in his eyes unmistakable. Without another word, he reached for the button of her jeans, his movements quick but careful. The sound of the zipper sliding down echoed in the quiet space, a reminder of the intimacy unfolding between them.
“Spread your legs for me,” he commanded, his voice deep and gravelly. The tone sent a shiver down her spine, the mix of dominance and tenderness overwhelming.
She obeyed, shifting her hips until her legs were parted, allowing him access. His hands moved with purpose, slipping beneath the elastic of her panties to gently cup her warmth. The contact was sudden, his fingers brushing against her clit with a precision that made her gasp.
“You’re so wet for me,” he murmured, his voice laced with satisfaction. “Did you know that?”
She shook her head, too overwhelmed to speak. All she could do was watch as he dipped a finger inside her, his touch sending shockwaves through her body. The sensation was unlike anything she’d ever felt, the way he filled her completely, tilting his finger just right to stroke her walls.
“So tight,” he groaned, his voice strained. “God, I can’t wait to be inside you.”
His words ignited a fire within her, her hips bucking against his hand as she chased the pleasure. Lando obliged, adding a second finger and curling them in just the right way to make her knees tremble.
“Fuck, Lando…” she moaned, her voice breaking. “Please…”
“Please what?” he growled, his eyes dark with desire. “Tell me what you want.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but the words caught in her throat. How could she even begin to articulate the craving building inside her, the desperate need to have him fully, completely?
Before she could form the words, Lando took matters into his own hands—literally. He withdrew his fingers, replacing them with his tongue. The sensation was overwhelming, the warmth and pressure of his mouth sending her spiraling into sensory overload.
“Oh my god…” she gasped, her hands flying to his hair as she tried to anchor herself. Lando didn’t hesitate, his tongue flicking against her clit with relentless precision. Every movement was deliberate, calculated to bring her closer to the edge.
“You taste so fucking good,” he muttered, his voice muffled against her core. “I can’t get enough of you.”
His dirty talk only added fuel to the fire, her hips rocking against his face as she struggled to hold on. But Lando wasn’t done yet. He pulled back, positioning himself between her legs before guiding his cock to her entrance.
“Ready?” he asked, his voice trembling with restraint. His eyes met hers, and for a moment, it was just the two of them, locked in a silent exchange of trust and desire.
She nodded, biting her lip to keep from begging. ��Yes. Please.”
With one swift motion, he pushed inside her, filling her completely. The sensation was almost too much, her body stretching to accommodate him. She gasped, her nails digging into his shoulders as she adjusted to the feeling.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Lando whispered, his forehead resting against hers. “I don’t think I’ll last.”
But then he started to move, slow and steady at first, giving her time to adjust. Each thrust was measured, his hips meeting hers with a rhythm that sent sparks of pleasure shooting through her veins.
“Lando,” she moaned, unable to hold back any longer. “Harder. Please.”
He listened, picking up the pace until the sound of their bodies connecting filled the air. The pleasure built with every thrust, consuming them both until all that was left was the raw, primal need to reach the peak together.
“Come for me,” Lando growled, his voice commanding. “Let me feel you come apart.”
He didn’t stop moving, not even for a second. His arms tightened around her as he carried her down the hallway, her legs still wrapped securely around his waist, his cock still buried deep inside her. Her breath hitched with every step, the sensation of him twitching within her only heightening the anticipation that built with each passing moment.
“You feel so good,” Lando murmured into her ear, his voice low and gravelly, sending shivers down her spine. He nuzzled her neck, peppering soft kisses along her skin, making her shudder. “I can’t wait to have you like this, completely at my mercy.”
Mercy. The word sent a rush of heat through her body, pooling between her legs. She bit her lip, trying to steady her breathing, but it was no use. She was already lost in the haze of desire that Lando had created.
He kicked open the door to his bedroom with one swift motion, and then he was laying her down on the bed, his weight pressing her into the mattress. His hands were everywhere—in her hair, on her hips, sliding up her thighs—as if he couldn’t get enough of her. And maybe he couldn’t. She certainly couldn’t get enough of him.
“Lando,” she whispered, her voice trembling with need. “Please,  move… don’t make me wait.”
His lips curved into a wicked smile, and he leaned down to kiss her again, deep and possessive, his tongue dominating hers. He pulled back just enough to look into her eyes, those piercing green/blue  eyes that seemed to see straight through to her soul. “I won’t,” he said, his voice a promise. “Not tonight. Not ever.”
Before she could respond, he spread her legs apart, repositioning himself between them. He looked down at her, his gaze intense, almost primal. “Are you sure?” he asked, though his tone suggested he already knew the answer.
She nodded, unable to speak, her heart pounding in her chest. Yes, she thought. Always yes.
With one quick, deliberate motion, he made an in-and-out motion and sank into her again, filling her completely. She gasped, her body arching up to meet his, desperate for more. His name escaped her lips in a breathless moan, and he groaned in response, his forehead resting against hers.
“Fuck, y/n,” he muttered, his voice ragged. “You feel so damn good.”
He began to move, slow and steady at first, giving her body time to adjust again. His thrusts were measured, deliberate, each one hitting her in just the right spot. She clutched at his shoulders, digging her nails into his skin, as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her.
“Lando,” she cried out, her voice breaking. “Please… harder.”
He listened, picking up the pace until the room was filled with the sound of their bodies coming together. His thrusts grew deeper, harder, each one sending jolts of electricity through her veins. She could feel the orgasm building inside her, closer and closer, threatening to consume her.
“Come for me,” Lando demanded, his voice commanding. “Let me feel you come apart.”
His words pushed her over the edge, and she did exactly as he said. Her body convulsed around him, her walls clenching tight as the orgasm ripped through her. She screamed his name, lost in the throes of pleasure, as he continued to thrust into her, chasing his own release.
“I’m close,” he gritted out, his voice strained. “God, I’m so close.”
She reached up to touch him, her fingers brushing against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath her palm. “Don’t stop,”she breathed, her voice barely audible. 
He didn’t. With one final, powerful thrust, he came. He let out a guttural growl, his body going rigid as he spilled inside her, his warmth mingling with hers.
For a few moments, neither of them moved, caught in the aftermath of what had just happened. Lando collapsed onto the bed beside her, pulling her into his arms. She lay there, her heart still racing, her body buzzing with the remnants of pleasure.
“That was…” she trailed off, unable to find the words to describe what had just happened.
“Incredible,” Lando finished for her, his voice soft but filled with conviction. He kissed her forehead, then her cheek, before finally capturing her lips in a gentle, lingering kiss. “And it’s only the beginning.”
She smiled against his lips, feeling a sense of contentment wash over her. But before she could fully bask in the moment, Lando pulled away slightly, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Ready for round two?” he asked, his voice teasing.
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As the night drew to a close, Lando and Y/N lay tangled in the sheets, breathless and content. Lando's fingers traced small circles on her skin, a soft and soothing contrast to the intensity of earlier. His lips pressed a gentle kiss to her temple, and she smiled, feeling completely at ease in his embrace.
"You know," Lando murmured, his voice playful yet tender, "I think we just set a new standard for our dates."
She laughed softly, turning to meet his gaze. "Is that so?" she teased, her fingers gently caressing his chest.
"Yeah," he grinned, his eyes sparkling. "But no pressure. I think we can take it slow from here on out... unless you're ready to break some more records."
She chuckled, snuggling closer, feeling his warmth surrounding her. "Maybe we should just enjoy the moment, Lando."
He nodded, his expression softening as he held her tighter. "You're right. This... us... it feels real. And that's all that matters."
She rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Just the quiet, simple certainty that something beautiful had begun between the two of them.
948 notes · View notes
mixingandmelting · 1 month ago
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Give Life Another Chance
Summary: He had always had your back when he was Robin. He'll always have your back even as an Outlaw
Word: 3.9k
A/N: Finally did Jason's version of childhood friend to lover trope! *Also part of Winter Series: Day 5
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Soft, black curls and a smile that could win the hearts of millions- there were so many good points you probably should’ve noticed first. But having been kicked out of the orphanage again and preoccupied to find a safe place to sleep on the streets for the night, your mind was slow to process that you were just saved from being jumped by Robin. So, your brain chose to point something else out as it registered.  Like how haughty he was being with both hands on his hips and an eyebrow raised as he had asked why a kid like you was out in the street this late. 
“You’re short.” 
“…Seriously? Instead of a thanks you tell me I’m short?” 
You were going to ask him if he had any plans on denying what you had just said when one of the thugs on the ground let out a groan. 
“Let’s go!” 
Quickly, boy wonder wrapped an arm around your waist before using the Batarang to pull the two of you up one of the near-by buildings. Surprisingly, you never once let go of him nor scream as he swung from one building to the next. Was it from trust? Survival instincts? You don’t know.  The next few minutes blurred as two teens continued to swing from building to building until he finally landed in front of a 24/7 burger place.
“Wha-where-“
Where did he get the cap he plopped on your head from? When did he change into the hoodie and sweatpants? Your head was spinning from so many unanswered questions that he was practically dragging you into the restaurant with a firm yet gentle grip around your hand. Shuffling you into a booth, he sat across from you and ordered two sets of the same burger meal. 
You both sat there quietly until the food came out. 
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Robin asked, noticing you hadn’t touched your food yet. 
You blankly blinked at him then at the food in front of you. Slowly, you reached for the burger and took a bite. Then another. You take the napkin he offered across the table to wipe your mouth and cheeks from both the food stains and tears while eating. 
By the time you finished, you both were slurping on your soft drinks, stuffed and satisfied.
“Well?” He asked, his eyes behind the domino mask trained on you. 
“… Why?” He must’ve expected you to ask him from the shrug he gave. 
“You looked like you needed it.” 
You looked like you needed it? 
“You were planning to sleep out tonight weren’t you? How were you going to do that on an empty stomach?” 
“I…” You paused for a moment, fiddling with your thumbs. “I’m used to it.”
He didn’t cue you or pressed for answers. It was all on you, spilling everything you’ve gone through from how your parents had abandoned you at age four from being chased by loan sharks to how you were continually being kicked out of each orphanage you enter for accidentally catching the employees embezzling funds meant to maintain the place. 
The one question he did ask was about school. He didn’t pursue further when you told him everyone knew your clothes were from hand-me-downs and the Salvation Army. 
You appreciated how he didn’t offer words of faux sympathy, simply muttering with an “I see”. You were curious what expression he was making though as he had his head turned toward the window and the hoodie pulled over his head blocked your view. 
Once the glasses were emptied, you both headed out. 
“Do you have any friends at your school?” 
You weren’t taken off guard anymore, finding yourself adapted to your current situation. 
“No.”
“Then head to this place. It’s nicer compared to all the others you were placed in.” 
Unexpectedly, an address for somewhere in the nicer neighborhood of Gotham was neatly written on the napkin.
“Yeah, and how am I supposed to get there? Have them let me in? It’s not like I have a social worker or anyone who’ll fill the paperwork for me.” 
“It’ll be fine. Just take the bus and walk there. Once you get there, just give them your name and then, they’ll let you in.” 
It was suspicious to say the least. At the same time, you didn’t have anything to lose.
“Then you have to promise to come visit me tomorrow.” Childishly, you stuck your pinky out at him. “ ‘Cause if you don’t, it’ll be your fault I’m dead.” 
“You aren’t going to die,” he snorted, yet wrapped his pinky around yours. “If anything, it’ll be a step forward to make life a bit better.” 
He was right. Life did get better when you arrived at the written address. With no hesitation despite the time of your arrival being past 1:00 AM, a kind woman welcomed you in and helped get you situated. For a week, you were busy getting used to the new environment where everything and everyone was… well, normal. None of the other kids looked as if they were struggling or waging war for survival. The adults were attentive and fostered healthy maturity. 
It helped that Robin had decided to visit you every night rather than just the next day. Along with checking in that you were okay, he listened to everything you had in your mind. The struggles, the challenges, the confusion from how none of your past experiences could’ve prepared for this big of a change. In a good way of course. 
Too bad the visits became less frequent once you started going to your new school. He mentioned about getting in trouble for not focusing on his patrols the last time. Your disappointment must’ve been evident when he proposed to do the  “pen-pal thing”. Using how you mentioned you’d do anything to thank him on the promised night as an excuse, he apparently had been wanting to do it but didn’t have anyone until you. 
That’s how you ended up leaving your window open ajar every night, having slipped a letter between the slim gap between the sill and the window itself and getting one back the same way, same place.
School on the other hand was eventful. Your only friend was Jason Todd, who, you had to admit, put in a lot of work to get close to you. To be fair, you didn’t expect someone to approach you all friendly on your first day. There were some hiccups along the way, however you guys managed to get through them and became buddies. 
There wasn’t a day you guys weren’t hanging together. Homework was being done at the library, talking about the books you both recently read during lunch. The time you both didn’t talk to each other was during class. Unlike you who sometimes found the drawl on Homo sapiens boring, Jason was soaking in all the knowledge with enthusiasm. You once called him school-freak from how much he loved to learn, being in school and exploring the topics the teachers were going over. He retorted that you were mad you couldn’t beat him in getting a higher grade during the last exam. You simply snatched his book and ran away with it, not appreciating how he was right.
With Robin during the night and Jason during the day, you were brighter and friendlier. Slowly, yet surely, you were found smiling more and approachable. Your schoolmates and teachers warmed up to you, treating you like one of them. You also had a place you could call home temporarily, where you could relax and enjoy the presence of having somewhat of a family.
The serenity and joy you had ended up lasting for two years. Jason suddenly stopped coming to school. Robin hadn’t visited you for a while nor sent you a letter. With Robin, you assumed it was because he was busy fighting criminals alongside Batman. Jason? You got worried about him. You tried to get in touch with him in every possible way you can. You asked the teachers, who were also worried as they didn’t know why he hadn’t been attending. You used the school’s directory book they hand out every year and sent letters to his residence. 
It was when you got the courage and called his home phone you were given the news. It went from shock. Denial. And then devastation. You felt completely ruined. Your eyes were glass and devoid of emotions when you had gone to his grave, dressed in black, holding a bouquet of red roses (he once said in passing that they were his favorite). 
Your one friend you made for the first time in life- you refused to believe he was dead. The news reported it was from an incident related to the Joker, making things much harder from the sheer weight of reality. Especially knowing the survival rate of the victims when the notorious villain was involved. 
You managed to maintain sanity superficially, convincing everyone that you were over it. That you were fine. Never realizing the reason for you to hold on was from the belief that Robin would soon visit you again when he had time or at least take the letters that were growing longer where you switched size of the envelopes multiple times.
Things became complicated when Batman, who hadn’t been seen with Robin for so long, made an appearance with him again. Problem was, the Robin next to the older man wasn’t your Robin. Instead of soft curls, his hair was silky and straight. The costume was different. The way the new Robin smiled wasn’t the same as the other Robin. Your Robin.
During the time Robin wasn’t present, you had thought he was severely injured.  Hence your expression of concern was always written in your letters, even in the midst of your grief. But what if. Just what if- 
You wanted it to be not true so much as you matched dates to events. The day of Jason’s death to around when Robin stopped sending you letters. The day Jason was seen with a cast to the day Robin wasn’t present on a mission. It was a cruel, awful joke played by the fates. Your Robin was Jason Todd. And the people- no, person- you loved with every fiber in your heart was dead. 
Jason, on the other hand, was never really into people back when he was a kid. Helping those in need and bringing justice so those suffering would finally have peace? Of course. He would always do it. Interest in a specific person though? He didn’t until he found you walking out and about in the middle of Park Row. Initially, out of empathy from knowing what it was like living in that awful area of Gotham, he was planning to follow you in the case you decided to get your hand dirty and mess with the wrong nest. He was proven wrong and soon changed his assessment of you to respect when he watched you give candy from your bag into the hands of the little kids hiding in the alley. You weren't being dumb about it either, posing it as if you were threatening contrary to what had actually happened. The longer he followed you, the more he saw how knowledgeable you were, knowing when to pick fights and when to keep your head low to stay out of trouble as you walked through the different alleys.
It made him more curious about you, from how you managed to save an adult man from a beating by tripping the assailant with the cover of his sidekick being the one to kick a nearby can. When he read the information he was able to find about you, he felt bitter. It was one thing to live with a dead-beat dad and a drugged out mom, but it was a whole different situation when having to live out in the street without a roof to cover your head most of the time, trying to get by on your own with no adults. 
He tried to think of something, anything to help you that night, after closing out the files that had been on the monitor in the Batcave. He started out with following you around during patrols and beating up anyone who seemed suspicious or approaching you with ill-intent behind your back. In his spare time, he was figuring out ways to get in a better child-care system considering you were still a minor, just like him. After hearing about his old man sponsoring to open an orphanage in central Gotham, he mustered the courage to put in a favor.
His plan was all set and ready to go once Bruce got involved, all that was left was to get you on board. Lady Luck must’ve been smiling at him when the perfect opportunity arose when he caught sight of some thugs hiding in the alley you were about to pass. That definitely got your attention when the thug that was close to grabbing you by the scruff went down with a thud. 
He never understood that awful and tragic feeling of seeing someone empty until he saw your eyes. Blank and filled with nothing, not even a spark of resentment or rage. He swallowed the lump in his throat, heart burning from the evidence of how the corruption of Gotham claimed another young victim. 
“So, what’s a kid like you roaming the streets at this time?” 
He didn’t mean to sound cocky. He was trying to sound normal, mustering the tiny drop of remaining strength in him to not waver when you looked so broken. Doesn’t mean he was impressed with your jab though. He had been told by Alfred that he was taller than Dick when he was the same age as him for your information. 
As he proceeded to help you get another chance with life, it wasn't part of his plan to become besties, even more so develop feelings for you. Sure, when he approached you as Jason Todd, things didn’t go well at first considering he knew you but you didn’t know him. His civilian self, to be exact. But as he got to know you as both Jason and Robin, he came to know the other side of you. The one with a heart that could encompass the whole world, a mind that had the potential to excel in anything you put your mind into. He constantly worried over the chances of you getting hurt, despite the rough exterior, from being so fragile.
Your letters reflected this as there were times your vulnerability appeared in writing on your thoughts of others. Yes there was hatred and annoyance but always in the last paragraph, you express your desire to understand rather than to exact revenge. You wanted to give them a chance and connect, not resent. 
The day he was captured was the day he wanted to confess to you. Reveal who he was and see if he could have a chance to be in your heart. So when he had come back to the living, he didn’t seek you out. He was scared to find out you had moved on without him. That he was simply left as a fragment of a memory like everyone else. 
You would’ve laughed at the expression he made if you had seen him when he saw you at his grave. He was camping, hoping that Bruce would appear and prove him wrong. To show that he was still loved and in his heart as his son. All he could do was hide his presence behind the giant oak tree, slightly tilting his head out to watch what you were doing. 
He watched your form from behind as you sat down in front of his grave before shuffling and pulling out folded pieces of paper. With his hiding spot not being that far off, he could hear you talking. And he wished he didn’t. A giant block of ice settled to the bottom of his stomach, listening to you read your letters you apparently continued to write to him. Your voice didn’t waver, casual and light as if you were truly talking to him like in the past. 
When you got to what seemed like the end, your voice cracked. Then a sniffle. For a moment, he forgot the anger and hatred he harbored, his knuckles going white from suppressing himself to reaching out and comforting you. It ripped him into pieces from the sorrow and wretch you were emitting, sobbing and whimpering why he couldn’t have told you sooner. Why he left without letting you say your final farewells. How you wanted him back.
You get interrupted and quickly forced to wipe your tears when your phone rung. 
“This is Officer-“ 
He stopped breathing. Out of all things, you became a police officer. The hope to meet and rekindle with you was completely crushed, his status not at all glamorous or society acceptable at the moment. When he heard ruffling, he came back to reality. He could feel his eyes well-up as he watched you place a familiar bouquet of flowers on his grave before getting up and leaving. 
Once you were gone, he walked over and picked the bouquet up delicately. For the first time since his revival, he was grieving for someone other than him, someone he still loves. Ironically, he wished that you were the one to have forgotten about him. Not being haunted and distraught as if you were watching him die over and over. 
Maybe it was then he developed the motivation to change, to leave and let go of emotions he had been holding up to then. Eventually, he had gone from working to dominate the underground businesses to getting rid of them. And whenever he had spare time, he’d have your back and make sure no one was going after you. It wasn’t just criminals he would take down who were planning to attack you and your group when on the field, he had also aimed at any corrupted officers that were going to use you as their scape-goat. 
Sure he had gone on adventures as he progressively turned over a new leaf, yet you were and still always his priority. Back when he was Robin and now, as Red Hood the outlaw. As time passed, he could see you healing. Your smiles more genuine. A glow in your skin. Your visits to him every week being more peaceful. 
He didn’t think nor entertain the idea of ever meeting you again. How could he when it’ll break you to find out he’s been alive, again, for so long?
So imagine his surprise when he arrives at the manor for the traditional Wayne Christmas party, finding you standing under the ridiculously large tree in the equally ridiculously large living room. 
The disgruntled expression gets replaced with shock for Jason as yours morphs into disbelief. 
“Ja..son…?”
Six feet, a body packed with muscles and scars, not to mention the infamous brown, leather jacket. Dick really wasn’t kidding during the time you helped hide him and the other vigilantes during the anti-hero hunt led by Amanda Waller when he had revealed that Jason Todd was actually alive after hearing from you how you knew the other, both as the former Robin and civilian. It makes you sick in the stomach of how much the person you loved once known as Mr. Sunshine went through for all the pure, unadulterated positivity and radiant optimism to be stripped away from him, leaving only hardship, fatigue, and harshness when hearing what he had gone through before and after his death. He didn’t deserve such cruelty, not when he was trying to pull the weight of the effort society refused to put in to make life better when he was a tiny teen. 
What you do next is risky. It may cause you to lose everything the two of you once had even. But how could you have him stand in front of the double-oak doors alone with eyes exposing his vulnerable and fragile heart. 
The questions he wants to ask, the actions he wants to take, they all are swallowed down when he’s pulled into a hug. It’s then he notices how much smaller you are compared to him. Your arms that once used to completely wrap around his shoulders can barely wrap around his torso. Your frame, frail as you tremble and leave tears on his thin, cotton shirt. 
He doesn’t need Dick’s motions or Tim’s mouthing to know what to do. Careful to crush you, he leans into you. 
“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you I was back.”
It’s the greatest Christmas gift life has ever given the two of you when you awkwardly nod in response to his words, no intentions of letting him go from fear he’d disappear on you again. And the sentiment is shared when he squeezes you closer to himself, a smile that was lost for a while reappearing and making those around feel the joy of the holiday miracle.
840 notes · View notes
sturnsluttz · 5 months ago
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Let me~Chris Sturniolo ꣑ৎ
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After a shitty day all you want is your boyfriend Chris who’s wants nothing more than to make you feel better, especially if that means softly fucking you till you can’t move.
WARNINGS: Soft dom Chris x sub fem reader, established relationship, smut, p in v, fingering, oral-fem receiving, slow sex, gentle Chris, slight overstimulation, unprotected sex (wrap it plz), aftercare
enjoy xx
You sat lazily across your bed, drained from an equally horrific morning, day at work and drive home. You had stained your last white work top, rushing out the door, been screamed at by your boss and when you thought the bad luck was over you nearly got rear ended on your way home.
As soon as you had arrived home all you wanted to do was cry your eyes out then call your boyfriend, Chris. You didn’t expect him to come over but you just wanted to hear his voice. Attempting to call and not cry you picked up the phone laying by your side, clicked his contact and it began ringing. You caught a faint glimpse of your reflection on the screen, Jesus, you looked rough. Quickly sniffing and wiping away the faint mascara stains off your face you recollected yourself before he answered.
“Hey ma” Chris talked through the phone enthusiastically, “Hey Chris” you responded, smiling to yourself at the goofy nickname. Chris sensed your dull tone immediately questioning if you were ok. “I had a really rough day, I didn’t mean to bother you, just wanted to hear your voice” you honestly admitted, “aww y/n I’m sorry, I’ll be right over, do you need anything while I’m omw?”
“Chris it’s ok you don’t have-“ you were cut off “No y/n tooo late, I’m leaving now” you giggled at his sassy response, “thanks” you huffed, “course ma”.
It wasn’t long before you heard a knock on your front door, you were too physically drained…and comfy to get up and open the door so you texted Chris to let himself up, but by the sounds of it he was already doing just that.
A glint of light hit you as your door was slowly cracked open. Standing there was Chris, with a sympathetic smile on his face, “hey y/n”. You didn’t know why, you were happy he was here but you began to feel that hot burning sensation in your eyes as a tear dripped down your now lowered face. “Shh sh it’s ok, I’m here” Chris spoke dropping his bag (presumably to stay the night) at the door and rushing to wrap his arms around you. He sat cradling you as you cried pathetically into his chest, squeezing him tight.
Chris held your shoulders lightly prying you away from him so he could see your face. You dropped your head to look at your twiddling thumbs, not wanting him to see you in such a state. “Hey baby, look at me” Chris spoke, lifting you head to look at him. You sniffled not even wanting to imagine how horrific you looked right now. “There’s my girl” Chris responded smiling at you, wiping away your tears and dripping snot shamelessly.
“Can you let me look after you ma?” Chris spoke softly, you nodded confused on what that ment but grateful nonetheless. He moved carefully from your comforting side, directing you to lay down. He adjusted around you comfortably laying next to you, drawing circles on your arm with his finger. Before you nearly nodded off to sleep at the calming sensation you felt a hand tap your hip, your gaze shooting down to meet his, “Can I take these off and make you feel good baby?” Chris said gesturing to your shorts with his eyes. You nodded back at him, helping him pull them down as he threw them lightly to the floor.
Chris stared in awe at your pink lace panties, toying with the waistband he glanced at you for permission and with a nod of your head they joined the pile on the floor. “So pretty” Chris praised, lowering himself between your legs, opening them. Your breath hitched at his new position squeezing your legs back together “it’s ok baby, let me see how wet you are for me”, you felt Chris’s breath on your thighs as he spoke sent light shivers up your spine. “Relax y/n, let me make you feel good” Chris whispered, reverting your legs back to their previous open position.
“Please” you muttered, your cheeks turning a dark shade of red, snapping Chris out of his admiration trance. “Of course baby” he responded placing a hand on your thigh. Chris inched closer to your heat, without warning placing a small kitten lick across your folds “mhm Chris” you whimpered at his touch somehow already sensitive. “I know baby, I know” Chris continued, licking up and down your slick, stopping to give a gentle kiss to your clit. He paused before carefully running a finger against your cunt “can I” he questioned before going any further. “Mm yes” you panted out, desperate for more of his touch.
Chris knew the control he had over you, he knew he could rail you to pieces if he wanted too. But he didn’t, he cared. All Chris wanted in that very moment was to take care of you. You felt his finger delicately enter you, your back arching him further into you. Strangled whimpers left your mouth as he began to pump his finger in and out of you. “Mfm-fuck—Chris” you moaned as he moved, “Mmore—please” you muttered. Granting your wish he added a second finger, his angel blue eyes locked on your contorted face as he continued pumping into you.
“Mm-Chris—Ddont stop” you chocked out, “I’m close”. His free hand lay holding your waist, the other still thrusting into your dripping pussy. “I won’t baby” Chris answered, and without slowing the pace of his fingers his tounge joined his fingers licking circles around your clit. Sweat beaded at your forehead as you felt your orgasm burn inside you, and without warning the knot snapped with a loud moan. Chris slowed his movements helping you ride out your high. Detaching his tongue from your swollen clit.
His face moved to meet yours, slowly pulling his fingers out of you in the process. His hands moved to hold either side of your face, kissing your lips. You could feel your own cum still on his fingers as they moved back down to reach under your shirt, squeezing your tits lightly. “Chris, I” you began “yeah” he replied, his eyes never leaving your face as he continued caressing your boobs. “I want you—“ you paused, “inside of me, not just your fingers” a light grin crept across his face as you spoke, “are u sure ma? I don’t wanna overstimulate you” he responded, care in every word. “I-im sure, I need you” you continued, your stomach fluttering with embarrassment.
Only second had passed before Chris’s pants and boxers grew the pile of the floor. He held himself over you while he pumped his length in his hand. Warm precum dripped onto your stomach before you felt his tip graze against your puffy folds. “You ready sweetheart?” Chris questioned, you nodded frantically as a reply, feeling his tip push into you. Your hands shot up to hold his waist for support, your nails digging into his soft pail skin “Mhmp—sorry” you apologised as the little red indents you left became visible “don’t be, I’ve got you” Chris whispered back. You felt his dick sink further into you, your insides stinging as you adjusted to him. “I’m halfway baby, you talk to me—tell me when you want more” Chris assured, so careful not to hurt you, “now” you exhaled while giving a light nod.
Chris finally bottomed out, his tip kissing your cervix “tell me when I can move baby” Chris says holding painfully still as his dick throbbed inside you. “Mfmm-uh-n—now” you whimpered back to him. Chris granted your wish as he began carefully thrusting in and out of you.
It wasn’t long before your pussy started to ache from overstimulation. Your previous organs hit you so fast and Chris’s dick was already inside you giving you no time to recover. You squirmed under him, his thrusts slowly rocking you back and forth. His speed picked up likely to chase his own orgasm, “C-Chris—mhm-sensitive rem-member” you reminded “sorry baby” his hips immediately slowed “your pussy just-uh-squezin me so—t-tight”
His thrusts continued at a much slower pace as your orgasm began to rebuild. Your pussy aching around him. “Mm-im c-close” you moaned. “Let it out gorgeous” Chris responded, and with that your orgasm hit you with a painfully guttural moan. A tear ran down your cheek as you tried to recover, Chris still thrusting deep inside of you.
“Mhmpf—C-Chris!” “T-too much” you cried, your thighs shaking from overstimulation. “I know ma-I-im sorry” Chris moaned into the crook of your neck, making your brain go fuzzy. “I’m so c-close I promise” he continued, you only whimpered in response before your insides were filled with that warm sticky sensation.
Chris panted loudly, trying to regain his composure “im so sorry baby” he spoke, his dick still holding his release inside of you. “You ok?” He asked, obviously concerned, you nodded tiredly in response as he let out a sigh of relief.
He pulled out of you, making you wince from overstimulation-him immediately apologising. The white liquid began to leak from your pussy onto your bed, “shit sorry ma, I’ll clean that up” Chris spoke. He stood up from the bed pulling his sweats back on, leaving to go get a towel.
A minute or two passed before Chris was back, with a wash cloth in hand. You attempted to get up but the shake in your now jelly legs prevented you. “Here, I gotcha” Chris chuckled, picking you up and carrying you to the bathroom. He sat you carefully on the edge of the cold bench, wetting the cloth with warm water. Chris leaned between your legs, your core still throbbing “im just gonna clean you up baby, I’ll be gentle” he spoke softly. You felt him wipe your thigh lightly, you shivering at his touch “too cold?” He questioned “no-it’s fine, thank you Chris” you assured him as he continued to clean you up.
You returned to your spot in his arms as he carried you back to your room, dressing you in your favourite pjs. “Chris why is there a white stain on my favourite sheets” you questioned looking at your bed, “whoops” Chris replied, a guilty look painted on his face which made you laugh. “This what happens when I let you look after me? You giggled at him, “maybe” he replied.
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LMK IF YALL LIKE THISSSSSS-it’s also not proofread so sorry if there are any mistakes😚😚
-ari xx
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sistertotheknowitall · 6 months ago
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Some guy finds Red Hood annoying.
Masterpost
All Danny wanted was one peaceful day. That was all. What does he get instead? A 6’ foot, jacked, vigilante crime lord. (Anti-hero, is that what he is? Danny wasn’t sure.) Now Danny’s not gonna say that a tall, built, hot as hell morally gray bad guy isn’t always unwelcome. It was just this one. (Unless, apparently, you’re Jazz. “Seriously?” “Look I don’t need saving but if he wants to come to my rescue, who am I to complain.”) They have gotten into many fights since Danny first moved to Gotham. ( He had chosen to live in a crime alley despite being able to afford slightly better. The money from his college fund was dumped entirely into said school and the money he earned went to bills and groceries.) Said screaming matches weren't even really fights; they were closer to the squabbles he’d get into with Jazz as an annoying way to express concern for each other. (A habit they, unfortunately, learned from their parents.) So having these types of arguments with said morally gray crime lord had Danny wondering if it was too late to cancel Jazz’s flight. (She boarded an hour ago.) He didn’t want them meeting, actually he’d like to keep her as far away as possible.
That’s why it was really inconvenient for these guys to kidnap him today. He had to get his sister from the airport and now he had to deal with Red Hood? Really? Other than Dickwing, Red Hood was the last person Danny wanted to see in a kidnapping situation. At least the others didn't make him feel like he was disappointing them. Only Jazz was allowed to make him feel the sting of disappointment at being reckless (and occasionally Sam and Tucker). Now, Danny thought he had decent common sense (“Shut up, Jazz.”), but he would gladly admit that he didn’t have Gotham common sense. He wasn’t afraid to go out at night just because the Riddler got out of Arkham. Honestly, he didn't see why he had to be afraid given any time of day. Danny was pretty sure he was basically immortal. (“Immortality is not dying and coming back as a full ghost.” “Then what would you call it, Jazz!?”) This seemed to frustrate Red Hood to no end as Danny lived in his part of the city and Danny was prone to finding trouble. (It actually seems to find him, Danny’s not actively going out and looking for it. He’s just trying to get on with his life.)
Anyway, yeah, Jazz was flying in for the weekend and somebody had kidnapped him. A perfectly normal Thursday. So, in perfectly normal Thursday fashion, Spoiler and Red Hood had swooped in while Danny was in the midst of a really intense staring contest with the kidnapper across from him. (“You know the staring is flattering when Tim does it but you make me feel icky.” The man didn't move and his hard stare barely wavered. “Alright, but I warn you I’m really good at this game.”) A flash of purple and the goon was no longer standing. Red Hood had come in guns blazing and made quick work of the other two kidnappers as Danny waited patiently to be untied. He could have phased through the chains he was hanging by but he didn't see a reason to. Just because they knew he could turn invisible didn’t mean they needed to know about everything else. (“That’s gaslighting, Danny.” “Technically, Sam, I think it’s lying by omission.” “Tucker.” “Right, not helping.”)
“Sooo,” Spoiler sang once Danny was free. “Who’s Tim?” You know what? Maybe it was Spoiler he should have been dreading. Red Hood made his way over, “yeah, kid, you got a boyfriend you didn’t tell us about?” Mm no, he regrets being in both their presence. Danny waved their questions away as he turned in a slow circle looking for the door. He wasn't quite sure of the time, but he was positive he was late to pick up Jazz. He answered as he made his way to the unconscious body of the guy who lost the staring contest, “a friend, well, a customer - a regular really. Nice guy, cute, has a staring problem.” Danny stooped down and started digging through the guys pockets, “do either of you know where the exit is?” Thankfully the guy was the one with his phone, he didn't want to search all the kidnappers. Turning it on, Danny saw that he was late and Jazz had already caught a taxi back to his place. The text had got increasingly more panicked the longer he hadn’t responded along with an alarming number of missed calls. 
Danny shot her a quick text as he followed Spoiler out of the building. Sorry, got kidnapped, am fine now. Please don't call. Will explain later. Love ya <3 He quickly added a selfie that Spoiler photo bombed over his shoulder holding up a peace sign. 
The screen immediately lit up with a facetime call. Danny turned it off and stuffed it in his pocket. He really didn't want Jazz meeting Red Hood.
He turned to face his “saviors.” “Okay, this has been fun. Thanks for the rescue, sorry I can’t stay and talk but I am needed elsewhere.” Throwing a quick salute he started down the street. After a block and a half he stopped at the opening of an ally. “You know I hate it when you all just stalk me from the shadows, it's very Babadook of you.” Hood appeared first behind Danny, “what's Babadook?” “A gay icon,” Spoiler drops in front of Danny. “Very true,” Danny high fives her as he hears Red Hood sigh, seeming to mutter to himself, “this is going in the folder.” “Okay,” Danny says, addressing both of them, “you don't need to walk me home.” Red Hood crossed his arms, “you’d rather your ‘Tom’ walk you?” Danny really really didn't want Jazz to meet Red Hood. Danny sighed, “His name is Tim and he’s just a friend and I’d rather nobody walked me home, I’m a fully capable adult.” “Capable huh? That’s what you call last week’s fiasco?” Last week’s fiasco being an incident that may or may not have involved a cult trying to sacrifice him. (He was insulted that they were trying to sacrifice him to a low level demon. He was the king of the infinite realms and they were using him to summon Craig? Really? Not that they knew any of this but still. Rude.) Spoiler placed her forearm on Danny’s shoulder to lean, as if he wasn't a few inches taller then her. “Not to mention tonight's kidnapping.” Danny shrugged her off. “And you two saved me,” he started slowly backing away into the alley behind him, “so, danger avoided.” Red Hood's hand shot out and grabbed Danny by the back of his shirt collar, “uh-uh, you're not pulling the disappearing act tonight.” Danny had indeed been intending to disappear and fly home, now he was being scuffed like a kitten. In hindsight he had pulled that move fairly often with Hood. Crossing his legs Danny refused to be set down on his feet so Red Hood dropped him. “Ow!”One peaceful day, was that too much? (Luckly, they didnt follow him into his building and just watched him enter. Unluckily, he had a worried and very annoyed older sister to face.) (“A selfie, Danny?! Really!?” “I wanted to assure you it was really me!”)
Part 7
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prettyfastcars · 7 months ago
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back to you | Mob!Lando
Summary: Weeks after your break up, you show up at his place to give him back the stuff he left behind at your apartment. But what was supposed to be a brief, quick interaction turns into something else… 
Themes: smut, explicit language, exes-to-lovers, fluff, daddy kink, mob!lando
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He had already been alerted the moment your car pulled up to his property gates, so finding you at his doorstep was not too much of a surprise. 
But he pretended it was. “And what are you doing here?” 
You couldn’t ignore the bitterness in his voice. It was too obvious. Part of you knew you deserved it too. After all, you were the one who wanted to break up in the first place. You had no business being here again. 
“I came to drop your stuff. I’m moving into my new place and I found these.” You purposely avoided his eyes, choosing to look down at the box in your hands instead. But even then you could feel his burning stare on you. 
He didn’t say a single thing, he just opened the door wider and let you into his home. A home you’d lived in for months. It felt weird being back. You followed him from the foyer till into the living room area where you placed the box down on the closest surface you could find. 
Lando peeked into the box and scoffed, “So you came all this way just to give me my hoodies back?” 
You were quick to answer. “Well I didn’t want them in my new home.” 
He smirked when you finally looked up at him. “And you couldn’t just throw them in the trash?” 
You were quiet for a second or two. Of course you could’ve. But you were here solely for selfish purposes. You wanted to see him again. So you partially lied and said, “I’m just being polite, okay?” 
“Polite.” He repeated under his breath. 
Then he tilted his head to the side in that way which made him seem just a little unhinged. It only added to his overall dark look. Dark suit even this late in the evening, messy hair which looked like he had run his fingers through it too many times which means that he’d probably just gotten off a stressful phone call. 
“How was that date you went on last night?” He asked out of nowhere. 
Ah shit. Of course he knew. He had eyes all over this city. “You’re spying on me now?” You tried to stand your ground. 
He shoved his hands into his pockets and gave you a bored look. Even then he looked handsome. Arrogant, and authoritative, but handsome. Even when he barely tried. “Answer me.” 
You got a little defensive, taking a step back and away from him as you said, “You have no right to ask me about my personal life.” 
“Oh?” He spoke, in a dangerously calm voice. You watched how he slowly walked towards where you stood. You instinctively took some slow steps back until you hit the wall. Lando stopped only when he was right in front of you. He took the liberty to cage you in between his arms, discreetly shoving his knee in between yours to keep you from moving. “I have no right?” He questioned, “And you think you have the right to just walk in and out of my life whenever you want?” 
You didn’t miss the annoyance in his voice. Bitter annoyance, and something else you couldn’t decipher. But his voice was doing things to your brain. Bringing back memories of the days when he used that tone with you right before taking you to bed. You argued, “I’m just here to give you back your things and–,” 
“That’s it?” He cut you off. Smirking as he pointed out, “Then why are you rubbing yourself against my thigh, huh?” 
You immediately stopped. And only then realised that you’d been shamelessly grinding against his thigh the moment he shoved it in between your legs. Like a desperate woman. Your face felt hot as you tried to avoid his eyes but it was impossible since he had you trapped between his body and the wall behind you. 
“Why’d you stop?” He teased. “Keep going.” Then leaned in closer to your ear and whispered, “Be honest to yourself at least. You came here to get fucked good, didn’t you?” 
“No.” You lied. 
He saw right through it. “No?” Then chuckled, and said, “That guy from last night, did he not make it good enough for you? Hmm? Did he not take care of you how you like it?” He spoke, pressing his leg in between yours even more, pressing up against your throbbing clit even through all the layers of clothing. 
You held back a moan and explained, “We didn’t sleep together. He dropped me home and that was it.” 
“I know that was it.” He cooed. “He’d be dead if he touched you.” He said it so casually. 
His words should’ve made you want to run away. You had no business here after all. You should leave. But did you want to? Absolutely not. And you didn’t move. Your breathing deepened, as did his. And suddenly you couldn’t look away from his stare. 
The memories came flooding in. His face was so close to yours, his mouth, those lips… 
“Please.” You caught yourself murmuring, your hands roaming slowly all over his clothed chest. From his abdomen to his broad shoulders, and back down. Fuck, you’d missed him. 
“Please what?” He barked. 
You nearly whined as you pressed your chest against his, seeking his touch, his warmth. “Please,” You whispered again against his neck, his warm skin driving you insane. 
“Hey,” He whispered softly, his hand coming up to grab your face by the chin, “Look at me.” When you finally looked at him he said, “You know I can give you what you want, babygirl. Just ask for it. Use that pretty mouth and tell daddy what you want. Anything you want, baby. You can have it.” 
You blinked slowly, your brain totally foggy with lust as you whispered, “I want you.” 
“Yeah?” He cooed. “You drove all this way for me?” 
You nodded, “Missed you so much,” Your lips brushed against his as you spoke, yearning for his touch. 
“Poor baby,” He moved his mouth to the side so you couldn’t kiss him just yet. And he loved the way you whined at the denial. “Say it then. Say you want me back.” 
You obliged immediately, “I want you back. Please.” 
He chuckled. And the sound of it was like a warning. You knew you were in trouble then. 
“But didn’t you say I was too much?” He asked, throwing your own words back at you. Words you’d said to him that night you broke up with him and left this place, weeks ago. “Didn’t you say I was too controlling?” He leaned in to rub the tip of his nose along your throat, giving you goosebumps. “Too possessive? Too jealous?” He kissed his way up till he reached your mouth, whispering against your lips, “You said I was toxic, remember? That I was bad for you? And now you want me back?” He pulled away just enough to look deep into your eyes. He was pissed. 
“I’m sorry,” You said, giving him your best pleading look. 
He mocked you, “Oh? You’re sorry?”
You nodded. “Please, Lando. I’ve missed you.” 
“Or did you just miss the way I fucked you?” 
Fine. You deserved that. But you gave him your best puppy dog look and he shook his head, looking away immediately because even he knew those were his weakness. He waited for a second before looking back at you and you were still giving him that look and he sighed in frustration, “No, no, no don’t give me that look.” He reasoned. “You did this. You did this to us. You said you wanted to break up. You said you needed space.” He accused you. 
Your hands tried pulling him closer, but he resisted. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” You whispered, pleading again. 
He scoffed, “It doesn’t work like that, you brat. If you’re truly sorry, you’re gonna have to show me just how sorry you are.” 
You found yourself on your knees in front of him shortly after. Him holding you by the back of your neck as he eased himself into your mouth, filling it with his cock. 
“This is where you belong, huh? This is my babygirl’s happy place, isn’t it?” 
You tried to nod, but couldn’t. He just smirked and pushed himself deeper into your mouth, pulling out and then back in again. 
“You missed this, didn’t you?” He asked, “You missed not having to use your little brain and instead just doing what I tell you? Hmm?”  
Damn it. You’d missed these little games. How easily he could make you forget that a whole world existed outside. How easily he could take control and give you just what you wanted and needed. 
You whined as you sucked on his cock. He closed his eyes and hissed in pleasure, murmuring how good your mouth felt, lips parted and gasping as he tilted his head back. He looked like a god. And you couldn’t stop staring. 
“Fuck, baby…” He groaned as you quickened your pace. He thrust his hips forward gently into your mouth, and the sounds which escaped his lips made you squirm. You could feel the wetness gathering in your underwear. “Make me come, go on. Be a good girl, make daddy come. Show me how sorry you are.” 
You squirmed and clenched your thighs together at the sound of the desperation in his voice. Your short dress did nothing to hide your actions. And those words were all it took for you to suck on his cock until he came undone all over your tongue. 
He came with a moan and a sigh, closing his eyes and relishing the warmth of your mouth wrapped around him. You swallowed all of him, licked him clean and stood back up. He smirked and wrapped his hand around your throat. 
“You did good, babygirl.” He murmured and finally pressed his mouth to yours as he walked you towards the nearest couch. 
He kissed you passionately, tongue pushing past your lips and stroking the top of your mouth as he pushed you down onto the couch and straddled your body. He hummed at the taste of him on your tongue, it was all too dirty, filthy, raw and it made you whimper and tremble against him. 
He slipped his hand under your dress and wasted no time in running his knuckles up and down your dripping cunt, touching you through the drenched underwear. He chuckled. “So fucking desperate, aren’t you?” his raspy voice whispered in your ear. “Drove all the way here under the excuse that you were returning my stuff back. I bet you had this whole thing planned in your pretty little head, huh? How you were gonna come here and seduce me, and give me that ‘fuck-me’ look with your pretty eyes. You knew I couldn’t possibly resist you, babygirl.” 
“Lando…” You whimpered as he pushed his fingers inside you, gently stroking your walls and stretching you out. You whined at his touch and threw your head back, and moaned. His grip around your throat tightened a little more and he growled when he felt your walls clench around his fingers. 
“Is this all you wanted?” He asked, and sped up, his fingers slipping in and out of you so perfectly that you moaned out loud. You were dripping all over his hand and possibly the couch as well, but neither of you cared. “I had a long day at work, you know,” He whispered, kissing along your jaw softly, “I had to deal with all these stupid people. I almost punched a guy because he was pissing me off, then I came home for some peace and quiet, but you don’t care about all that, do you? Hmm?” He purposely slowed his fingers down to make you whine louder. “All you care about is getting fucked by me. All because those useless boys you go out on dates with don’t do it for you, do they?” 
You whined, unable to take the sweet torture any longer, desperately trying to grind against his hand. “Please,” You begged, looking up at him with those eyes again. 
He scoffed, pulled his fingers out of you but kept your legs spread apart beneath him so he could just watch how wet you were for him. “Tell me why I shouldn’t ask you to leave right now.” He leaned down, till his face was right above yours. “Do you know how pissed I was when I found out you’ve been going out on dates?” 
“It was one date!” You clarified. Not that it did much. He was just as pissed. So you added, in a bratty tone you were certain he hated. “Am I supposed to believe you haven’t been with anyone since I left?” 
That made him tighten his grip around your throat. “Say that again, I fucking dare you.” He hissed. Not knowing that it only turned you on even more. “Come on,” He urged, “Use that fucking tone again.” 
You were breathing heavily, and so was he. By now you could feel his erection pressing against your lower belly and it was torture. “Lando, please.” You begged again. 
“You never fucking learn, do you?” He held himself above you with one hand while the other rapidly undid his trousers. You helped him in lowering the zipper and lowering his underwear just enough so his cock was free, and hard. “It’s all my fault, isn’t it? Spoiled you too much.” 
You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, your dress bunching up around your hips as he slowly slid inside you. You were gasping and moaning as he did, hands holding on to his shoulders when he began moving in and out of you. It was all too familiar. His body moving against yours, the feeling of him inside you, his warm breath against your cheek, his weight on top of you. 
His thrusts were relentless. Angry even. “I fucking missed you too.” He murmured against your mouth. “Daddy missed this little cunt of yours, and this bratty mouth.” He fucked you hard, earning more and more moans out of you each time his cock stroked your walls. 
“Fuck,” You panted, squirming under him while he toyed with your breasts through the thin material of your dress. Your back arched in pleasure as his hands grabbed you wherever he could, holding you in place as much as he could while he pounded into you. You felt so full of his cock it was unbearably good.
“Your wet little cunt feels so good around me, babygirl…” he murmured, voice low and hazy in pleasure. He groaned as he felt your walls milking him and squeezing him just right. “So good…” 
You felt like you were losing your mind. The pleasure was overwhelming, the feeling of his warm body pressing down onto yours and the feeling of his cock ramming in and out of you, stretching you out deliciously, you couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Lando…” you moaned, your mind getting foggier and foggier with each passing second. He slammed in and out of you continuously, staring deep into your eyes. Tears fell out of your eyes as the pleasure became too much to handle. His stare was too intense. His touch was too hot. But you still wanted more of him. “Fuck, I love you.” You blurted out. 
Your thoughts were a mess. You didn’t notice the moment he frowned in surprise, or how he froze for like half a second before continuing. You squirmed in pleasure as both his hands gripped your hips, keeping you in place as he filled you up each time. 
He pushed his face into your neck out of habit. “Say that again, baby. I need to hear you say it again.” He spoke, speeding up even more. Lewd sounds coming from both of you as he fucked you. 
“I…” You gasped, “I love you.” 
He chuckled. “Yeah?” 
You nodded quickly. “And I’ll be good, I promise. Just… make me come. Please...” 
He pulled away to look down at you, gold chain hanging from his neck as he said, “Come for me, baby.” 
He slowed down a little, but fucked deeper into you. Just how you liked it. Slow, deep strokes. He held you stare the whole time. Until you came undone, gasping and whimpering with your walls clenching around him.  
A few strokes later, he came as well. Filling you up, and not even bothering to pull out before he collapsed on top of you, both of you trying to catch your breath. He nuzzled your neck like he always did. 
You were both dishevelled and in serious need of some warm towels to clean up but neither one of you made a move to get up. 
“I’m sorry.” You whispered, running your fingers through his now damp hair. “I thought I was doing the right thing but… I was miserable without you.” 
Lando was quiet for a moment. Then said, “I’m sorry too. I know I can be a lot to handle at times. I’ll work on that. I promise. Just don’t leave again.” 
“I won’t.” You said quickly. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll fix this.” 
“Good. We will.” 
Then a moment later you said, “You didn’t say it back.” 
“What?” He asked. 
“I said I loved you earlier, you didn’t say it back.” 
He chuckled. Genuinely this time, sounding like he hadn’t laughed in a long time. He pulled away to look down at you again. “I love you,” He said, then quietly added, “Brat.” Then leaned in for a proper kiss. 
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luvst4rc0r3 · 4 days ago
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“YOU’RE my wife, Sev”
Sevika x F!Reader
WC:1021
NOTE: establish marriage. I’m just lonely y’all.😰😭
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It was late. The kind of late where even the hum of Zaun’s streets had dulled into a low murmur. You were sitting at the table in your shared apartment, carefully arranging a small bow on the gift you’d picked out for Sevika.
She’d been working long hours at Silco’s beck and call, barely home except for the nights she stumbled in after a few too many drinks. Tonight, though, you were prepared. You’d wanted to surprise her—a little reminder that she was loved, even when she didn’t think she deserved it.
The sound of the front door creaking open pulled your attention. Heavy footsteps followed, uneven and slow. You sighed, setting the gift down on the table. Sevika had finally made it back.
She appeared in the doorway, her tall frame slouched, her jacket hanging off one shoulder. Her usually sharp eyes were glassy, and she had that familiar sway to her step that screamed “too much whiskey.”
“Hey, you,” you said softly, trying not to startle her.
Her gaze locked onto you, and a slow, lazy grin spread across her face. “Hey… you.” Her words slurred together as she stumbled toward the table.
And then she saw it.
The gift.
Her brow furrowed as she leaned forward, squinting at the tag tied to the ribbon. She mouthed the words as she read them aloud: “To my dearest wife.”
She froze.
For a long moment, she just stared at the tag, her drunken mind working overtime to process what she’d just read. Then, like a dam breaking, her face crumpled.
“Wh—what the fuck?” she muttered, her voice shaky as tears started streaming down her face.
“Sevika?” you asked, standing from your chair.
But she didn’t answer. Instead, she sank to the floor, burying her face in her hands as she sobbed.
“Sevika! What’s wrong?” you asked, rushing to her side. You knelt beside her, resting a hand on her arm, but she flinched away, shaking her head.
“I—I didn’t know!” she cried, her voice muffled by her hands. “I didn’t know you had a wife!”
Your heart stopped for a moment, confusion washing over you. “What are you talking about?”
“You didn’t tell me,” she sobbed, looking up at you with wide, tear-streaked eyes. “You’re married! And—and she’s so lucky, you know that? You’re—you’re amazing. And I love you. But I can’t—I can’t even… I can’t even be with you because you’re taken.”
It hit you then.
Oh, she forgot.
“Sevika,” you started, trying to keep your voice calm.
“No, don’t,” she said, shaking her head violently. “Don’t make it worse. I already feel so stupid. I thought… I thought maybe I had a chance. But no, you’re married, and now I’m just—just some idiot in love with someone she can’t have.”
You bit your lip, fighting back a laugh. As heart-wrenching as her drunken meltdown was, the situation was too ridiculous to ignore.
“Sevika,” you said again, gently cupping her face in your hands. Her tear-filled eyes locked onto yours, and you could see the devastation written all over her expression.
“You’re my wife.”
She blinked.
“What?”
“You’re my wife, Sev” you repeated, your voice soft but steady. “The gift is for you.”
Her brows knitted together, her lips parting slightly as if to argue, but no words came out. You could practically see the gears turning in her hazy mind.
“For me?” she whispered after a moment, her voice small.
You nodded. “Yes, for you.”
“But… wait. I’m your wife?”
You nodded again, smiling now. “Yes, Sevika. You’re my wife. We got married six months ago, remember? You wore that fancy black suit you hated but looked amazing in, and we danced until your legs gave out.”
Her mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. Finally, she managed to stammer, “I… I forgot.”
“I know,” you said gently, brushing a tear from her cheek with your thumb.
“I thought… I thought I lost you to someone else,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “I thought I ruined everything.”
“You didn’t ruin anything,” you said, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “You’re mine, Sevika. Always have been, always will be.”
She stared at you, her expression still caught between disbelief and relief. “I’m yours,” she repeated, almost like she was testing the words.
“Yes, you big idiot,” you teased, though your tone was warm. “Now, come on. Get off the floor and open your gift.”
She let you help her to her feet, her movements sluggish but cooperative. You guided her to the table, where the neatly wrapped box sat waiting. She picked it up carefully, her large hands fumbling with the ribbon for a moment before finally tearing it open.
Inside was a new leather glove to replace the worn one she always complained about, along with a small card that read, “To my one and only—thank you for being my everything.”
She stared at the gift for a long moment before looking back at you, fresh tears welling in her eyes.
“Hey, hey,” you said quickly, stepping closer. “What’s wrong now?”
“I just…” Her voice cracked, and she wiped at her face with the back of her hand. “I love you so much, you know that? I don’t deserve you.”
“That’s nonsense,” you said firmly, wrapping your arms around her waist. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Sevika. And I’m lucky to have you.”
She let out a shaky laugh, resting her forehead against yours. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Good thing you’ll never have to find out,” you said softly, leaning up to kiss her.
Her lips were warm against yours, tasting faintly of whiskey and salt from her tears. When you pulled back, she was smiling—a real, genuine smile that made your heart swell.
“Thank you,” she murmured, holding the glove in one hand while wrapping the other around you.
“For what?”
“For loving me,” she said simply.
“Always,” you replied, resting your head against her chest. “Now, let’s get you to bed before you start crying again, okay?”
She laughed, the sound deep and rich, and for the first time that night, she looked like herself again.
“Yeah,” she said, tightening her hold on you. “Bed sounds good. But only if you come with me.”
“Always,” you repeated, smiling against her shoulder as you led her toward the bedroom.
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I’d be coming up with the most randomness ideas
I want sleep
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luvleyshif4 · 1 month ago
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BOUND TO YOU pt 2
Rafe Cameron x Reader (Rafe’s POV)
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Summary: Even after dating for years, just like you, Rafe is still so in love with you, and he realizes just how obsessed with you he really is
Warning: fluffiest fluff, lot of physical touch, tooth rotting love, reader is a book gyal, this is purely Rafe’s POV (there aren't really any serious warnings)
Word count: 1.01k words
Authors note: so this is the Rafe POV yall requested, and when yall request I provide so here it is!!! Hope this is up to ur expectations!! LEMME KNOW IF IT IS😘😘 if you haven’t read reader’s POV yet you can read it after this or before this!!!👇🏽
Reader’s POV
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RAFE’S POV
The soft hum of the laptop filled the room as Rafe typed away, his eyes scanning the screen, his brows slightly furrowed in concentration. His fingers moved quickly over the keys, the click of the buttons steady and rhythmic. But, despite the focus required for his work, he couldn’t help but be aware of the presence beside him.
He knew she was there—he could feel her gaze, even before he glanced up. It was a feeling he’d gotten used to over the years, that quiet attention she paid to him, always subtle but unmistakable.
Rafe glanced to his side, finding her eyes already on him. She didn’t look away, her gaze soft, almost distant, and it made his heart skip a beat. There was something in the way she looked at him that always made him feel like he was the most important person in her world, something he never took for granted.
“What?” he asked, his voice a little teasing, though he couldn’t hide the smile tugging at his lips. He knew the answer even before she tried to play it off.
“Nothing,” she murmured quickly, her gaze dropping to the book in her lap. But he could tell. She wasn’t fooling him.
He chuckled under his breath, watching her squirm a little, her cheeks warming. It was endearing, the way she always got embarrassed, even now. He loved it.
“Uh-huh,” he said, leaning back slightly and closing his laptop. There was no need to pretend to work when the real work was to be here with her, even if it was just in silence. “You’re staring at me, baby.”
“I’m not,” she said, but it was too late. He could see it, the way her lips twitched in a way that betrayed her.
He stretched out his arm, the invitation clear. Come closer. His eyes never left hers, and when she moved toward him, sliding into his side, he pulled her in close, his arm instinctively wrapping around her.
Her head found its place against his shoulder, and he couldn’t help but inhale the scent of her—clean and familiar, with just the slightest trace of something floral. Her warmth settled into him, and it felt like the world had quieted even more, leaving just the two of them in that little bubble.
Rafe let his hand rest gently on her waist, his thumb brushing lightly against her side. His fingers moved absentmindedly, tracing patterns, and he could feel her pulse quicken under his touch. He loved how sensitive she was, how her body responded to him so naturally. It was something he could never get enough of, that connection between them.
She tilted her head to look up at him, and he caught the way her gaze lingered on his lips for just a moment too long. He couldn’t resist.
Leaning in, he kissed her softly, his lips slow and deliberate against hers. It wasn’t rushed; it was a kiss that felt like it had been waiting for this moment, like everything had been building up to this.
His hand cupped her jaw, his thumb gently brushing her cheek, and he kissed her deeper, letting the world around them fade away. There was nothing in that moment except her, and he knew, without a doubt, that he would never tire of this—never tire of her.
When he pulled away, his forehead found hers, his eyes heavy with affection. He smiled softly, the kind of smile that was reserved only for her.
“You okay?” he murmured, his voice low and intimate.
She nodded, but he could see the emotions swirling in her eyes. She didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need words. Her presence was more than enough.
He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, wrapping her up in his arms. The rhythm of her breath slowed against him, and he could feel the weight of her thoughts, even if she wasn’t voicing them. She was everything to him, and in this moment, with her tucked safely against him, he knew that it wasn’t just love. It was something deeper. Something that no words could capture.
Rafe’s fingers traced absent patterns on her arm, his touch soothing, a quiet comfort as he held her close. He could feel her body relax against his, but something about the stillness made him wonder if something was on her mind.
“You’re quiet,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper, like he didn’t want to break the peace they shared.
She tilted her head to look up at him, the corners of her lips lifting in a small smile, one that only ever seemed to appear when she was near him. It made his heart flutter, even after all this time. “Just thinking,” she replied, her voice light.
“About what?” he asked, a hint of curiosity in his tone, though he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was something more than simple thoughts. The way she paused, the way she looked at him, told him that she was feeling something—something that only the two of them shared.
Her smile softened, and for a moment, he thought she might not say anything. But then she spoke, her voice barely audible as she answered with the simplicity that always made his heart race.
“You.”
Rafe smiled again, the simple truth making his chest swell. He pressed another kiss to her forehead, his voice just as gentle as hers.
“Good,” he murmured. “’Cause I’m always thinking about you.”
There was no need for anything more. They just stayed like that, together, in that quiet space, the world outside forgotten for now. And as he held her, the realization struck him again, as it did every time: she was his everything.
Rafe knew he was bound to you the moment he met you. And even after all this time, he couldn’t get enough of you.
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