#I’m just getting shit done cause my blog looked a mess

[vampzzi]

—- AISLE 2 | MASTERLIST

recent works ; none right now

in progress works : lyla (atsv)

ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE !! — #spidervinyl

nothing yet..but you can requestttt

CALL OF DUTY MW2 !! (favs only)

— rest of under #bitevinylcod

WHITE NOISE — 0.7k > Keegan x Ghost x reader

summary ; Keegan and you are fuck buddies and you know the rules of fuck buddies, none of you can fall inlove with each other but it happens anyways and you cannot get him out of your head but you both don't know how to pick up on social cues and miscommunicate your feelings and you end up leaving him but he and ghost come back to help you with a shocking decision you’ve made.

ROOKIE DREAMS — 0.1k > Keegan x Ghost x Reader

summary ; pure filth, getting double by both Keegan and Ghost. I hardly remember what the plot was to this ngl

RAZBERI & WHISKEY — 0.6k > Ghost x fem!Reader

summary ; Ghost visits the bar every friday, and gets hammered after work hours. You guys never really talk but this crush you have on him is so random but I guess he feels the same too?

FINAL FANTASY !! — #scratchedvinyl

CHAOS IN THE FOREST — 0.2k > Yazoo x Reader

summary; SEX, I was so downbad for this man oh my god

RESIDENT EVIL 4 !! — #brokenvinyl

not taking request yet for this fandom!! But in the future I will.

THE QUARRY - #forgettenvinyl

IDENTIFY VAMPIRE? — 0.3k > Nick x agender reader

summary ; the ending of high school and you’d love to send your summer with some kids at Hackett Quarry. So you sign up, you might just wanna wait to go though cause something’s wrong with you.

SECRET ROOM — 0.2k > Ryan x Reader

summary; you and Ryan fuck in Chris Hacketts secret room of the camp. It’s pretty straight forward but hot

[cameronsprincess]

— summary: it’s been a month since you and rafe broke up, and when the two of you end up at the same party, rafe wants closure. but things go differently.

— pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader

�� warnings: strong language, toxic relationship, some angst, pet names, praising, dom!rafe, unprotected sex, fingering, slightly sweet!rafe in the end.

— note: my first fic i posted on my old blog, only fair it’s the first reposted on my new blog <3 it’s also slightly reworked but not by much!

❥ closure— r.c

It’s been a month since you’d seen him. A month of dodging calls and texts, begging you to just come talk.

The truth was, you missed him, but you knew it was for the best if you steered clear of him.

He was toxic in every way imaginable; controlling, mentally abusive, he had a drug problem he wasn’t willing to shake, not even for you. He had so many problems within himself and he wasn’t willing to try and fix them. It had been a long but rewarding month, and you finally felt happy again.

But you knew you’d see him eventually, given y’all live on a small island in North Carolina, and now here you were, standing in the middle of his best friends living room at a party, hoping you can make it through the night without seeing him.

“Y/N? You okay?” you hear your best friend ask from beside you, completely pulling you from your thoughts.

You look over at her and give a small smile, trying your hardest not to give away that your mind is on Rafe.

“Yeah i’m fine, just a little on edge. This is the first party i’ve came to since…” The sentence dies on your tongue when you see him, standing at the opposite side of the house, glass full of whiskey in hand, his eyes locked on you.

“Fuck” you say under your breath and looking to your best friend again.

“What? Y/N/N what’s wro-“ she starts, but is cut off by an all too familiar voice. Rafe.

“Hey Y/N… I was wondering if we could talk?” Rafe asks, his eyes trained on the ground beneath him.

You stand frozen in your spot, unable to form a coherent thought. You hadn’t seen him in an entire month, you hadn’t heard his voice in an entire month, you hadn’t felt the feeling you were feeling right now in an entire month.

You look up at him, trying to get a read on his face, hoping you could figure out his true intentions through his eyes. But when he locks his blue eyes with yours, they’re filled with nothing but sadness. You’d never seen Rafe look so sad before, not even when his dad spent the entire day tearing him apart, he never looked as sad as he did right now.

You look toward your friend who is just watching the two of you like it’s her favorite show, causing you to roll your eyes at her. She gives you an apologetic smile before she looks back at Rafe, “Sorry bud, I don’t think she’s much up for talking to you”

He gives her a shit eating glare, his head slowly turning back to you. You notice his features soften when he meets your eyes again, “Look Y/N it’s just a talk. We need better closure, I need better closure… Please?”

You let out a deep sigh and let your fall to look at the ground before looking back into his eyes. You really missed him. Missed those deep blue eyes, his plump pink lips, you missed everything about him.

“Rafe, I don’t think I can give you what you’re looking for. I just- We were toxic together, you know that. What more is there to say?”

Rafe frowns. “Look I just need you to know I will fucking change. I need you. I’ve been a mess this last month, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, all i’ve done is try and drink you away. I even quit doing coke for you, I thought maybe if I try and change who I am, then fuck, I don’t know.. Maybe you’d love me again. I fucking need you though”

You stand there in shock at his revelation. You never thought you’d hear Rafe Cameron say he needs someone. He’s the Kook Prince, he has everything he wants, he could have any girl he wants, so why does he need you? Fuck why does he want you?

Rafe pulls you from your thoughts, his hands placed softly on your shoulders. “Y/N?”

You shake his hands from your shoulders. “Let’s go talk. But just talk, Rafe”

He gives a small smile, taking your hand in his and leading you up the stairs and into a small guest bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.

You move to sit on the end of the bed, eyes finding Rafe who was still standing by the door, his eyes raking your figure up and down. You felt your face grow hot from his intense stare, he’d always had this sort of affect on you, even though you’d been together for three years, he always knew how to get you flustered.

“Rafe, you said you wanted to talk, so let’s talk” you say with a shaky voice.

He begins moving closer to you, making your entire body grow hot, “I do wanna talk, but y’know it’s hard to just talk when you look so goddamn sexy baby”

“D-don’t call me that. We’re not together anymore”

“And that’s the problem baby girl, we should be together. We were meant to be together, why can’t you see that?”

“Rafe” you begin, but are cut off by his lips hovering over yours, he was so close you could smell his expensive cologne that you love so much.

“What is it baby? I know you miss me like I miss you. Fuck. I miss your smell, your laugh, your smile, I miss the way your hands feel in mine. I really miss the way your pretty lips look wrapped around my cock, I miss everything about you”

You suck in shaky breath, his words causing an ache to grow between your legs. You squeeze your legs together and push him back, finally able to catch a good breath. You look up into his eyes, normally beautiful and blue, but right now they’re darkened over and full of lust for you.

“Rafe I can’t do this with you. You always try and use sex to pull me back in, and it usually works, but fuck, I can’t do this” You stand from the bed, pushing past him and making your way toward the door, unlocking the door. Before you can pull the door open you’re pushed into the door, hearing it locked again before you’re spun around to face Rafe.

“Fucking hell Y/N stop! You wanna talk? Let’s talk”

“Rafe let me go” You say sternly, trying your hardest to push him off of you.

He loosens his grip on your arms, and steps back a little. You look into his eyes, noticing the tears that were threatening to fall.

You give him a sad smile and exhale deeply, “Look, Rafe. You know I love you, fuck you’re the one person i’ve loved more than anything in all mu years in this earth, and we were good together, but we weren’t at the same time.. The bad outweighs the good..”

You see a single tear fall from his eye, the sight breaks your already broken heart more, but you know you can’t give in. If you do it’ll be the same cycle repeated all over again. Years of dealing with the fights, the tears, him shutting you out when his dad has been a royal ass. You couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Y/N I promise i’ll change. I know you say the bad outweighs the good, and I understand that, but if you just let me have this one last chance, I swear I will spend every single goddamn day proving to you that I fucking love you. You’re the only happiness i’ve had in my miserable existence, I can’t fucking lose you”

You feel your heart shatter in that moment, you knew he loved you, that much you never doubted, but you weren’t sure you could allow yourself to go through all the heart ache again.

You slowly move toward him, wanting to take all his pain away, let him know you were here. You bring him into your arms, his head falling into the crook of your neck as he let choked sobs escape him. You rub at his back softly, whispering sweetly to him as you tried to calm him down.

You know you miss him, why is it so hard to let someone go? Why is it so hard to stop loving someone when they’ve given you every reason to hate them?

You pull away from him, looking into his sparkling blue eyes, seeing him this way hurt, and you knew you were going to forgive him. Take him back. You couldn’t help it. You loved him. You lift up on your toes and place a soft kiss on his lips before quickly pulling away. He looks into your eyes, searching for any sign that he could kiss you again.

He slowly bends down and captures your lips with his again, softly and slowly at first to make sure you were okay with it, but he quickly deepens the kiss when he realizes you weren’t going to shove him away. You melt into the kiss, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth and explore as your arms fly around his neck.

He moves his hands down the curves of your body, reaching your thighs and giving a light tap, signaling for you to jump and wrap your legs around his torso.

He holds onto the bottom of your thighs, walking the two of you over to the bed. He never breaks the kiss until he softly drops you onto the bed.

You watch in awe as he tears his shirt off, tossing it to the side and crawling on top of you. He keeps his gaze on you, a small smirk on his lips before he leans down and kisses you deeply again.

Yo whimper against his lips, “R-Rafe, please. I need you. I’ve missed you”

He breaks the kiss and looks down at you with that cocky smirk you know all too well, “Tell me what you want sweetheart, and I’m sure I can help you out”

“Touch me, please” You whine, grabbing his hand and leading it to where you need him the most.

He begins quickly unbuttoning your shorts, sliding them down your legs and tossing them across the room. He palms your cunt through your panties, rubbing his thumb over your soaked core, “Shit princess, so wet. You’ve ruined these” he says lowly, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties and sliding them down your legs.

“Shirt off” he demands, moving to unbutton his pants, eyes never leaving you as he watches you pull your shirt over your head.

He sucks in a sharp breath when he sees you’d opted for no bra tonight, “Fuck baby, I missed you like this”

“Prove it”

Before you have time to think, Rafe pushes your back onto the mattress and begins littering your neck with kisses, pulling moans and whines from your lips. “Rafe! Please, do something”

“So needy for me aren’t you baby?” He says as he begins rubbing slow circles on your clit. You squirm underneath his touch, your hips bucking forward as you try and gain more friction. He takes his free hand, pushing your hips down into the mattress.

“Be a good girl, and don’t move. You know i’ll take care of you, alright?”

He slowly rubs your clit with his thumb, inserting his middle finger into your soaked pussy, forcing a moan to fall from you, your gummy walls clenching around his finger. You try and focus on your breathing, the pace of his finger mixed with the pressure he was applying to your clit pushing you toward the edge fast.

“My needy girl, clenching around my finger, you like when my fingers are inside you baby?” He asks, voice low and raspy as he sinks another finger inside you, quickening his pace.

You nod your head, back arching off the mattress, pushing his fingers deeper into you. He chuckles darkly, curling his fingers slightly and hitting at your sweet spot before he pulls them from you completely.

“Rafe what the f-“ you were about to complain, but the words die on your tongue when he sinks both fingers back inside you, thrusting them in and out harshly, the slight curve of his fingers repeatedly hitting at your g-spot.

“Oh shit, keep going baby, i’m gonna cum, Rafe! Fuck!”

Rafe slows his pace, leaning forward and kissing your lips softly. “I know baby, I can feel your pussy clenching around my fingers, but you can’t cut, not yet princess. You’re gonna cum on my cock”

You moan out at the slow pace of his fingers, your eyes squeezed shut as he pulls them from you. You open your eyes and watch as he strips his briefs from his body, letting his hard cock spring free. You prop yourself up on your elbows and stare in awe at the beauty of the man in front of you. After three years you still find yourself drooling over him like this, but who wouldn’t ?

“I almost forgot how big you are baby” you stay while moving to bring him into your mouth, but he stops you before you can even begin.

“Tonight’s all about you sweetheart, we’ll have plenty of time to let you put that pretty mouth to use, but for now, i’m going to fuck you. Lay back”

He begins stroking himself slowly, bringing his free hand and wrapping it around your throat, “I’ve always loved how you look with my hand wrapped around your throat, such a pretty girl”

You squirm beneath him, wanting nothing but the feeling of his cock inside you. You begin to whine, begging for him to fuck you when he finally sinks himself inside you, moans and groans falling from both of you as he fills you perfectly.

“Fuck baby, so fucking wet, so tight, and just for me”

He begins thrusting himself into you slowly, your inner walls squeezing at him tightly.

“Tell me you only get this fucking wet for me, that this pussy belongs to me!” He demands, his hips pounding into you harder and faster.

You open your mouth to speak but nothing but moans and whines come out, you can’t think straight, much less form a coherent sentence.

Rafe slows his thrusts to an agonizingly slow pace, stilling inside you completely. He tightens the grip he has on your throat, forcing your eyes open and onto him, “Answer me baby, or i’ll stop”

“Fuck, Rafe! Only you, It’s all for you!”

He smirks, his hips pounding into yours again. “That’s my good girl”

You feel yourself clenching around him, your walls sucking him further into you. You bring your hands to his face and pull his lips down to meet yours, kissing him sloppily and hungrily.

“Fuck Rafe! I’m about to cum!” You whine, your hands flying to his shoulders, fingernails digging into the flesh.

He takes one hand and grips at your hip tightly, surely leaving a bruise. He pulls your body further into him, his thrusts growing sloppier and harder as he buries his face into your neck, sucking a bruise into the skin.

“Come for me baby, come all over me”

You feel the pressure build up in your stomach, your pussy clamping down on him harder. You begin to move your hops with his, trying to push him closer to his release.

The room is filled with nothing but the sounds of both your moans, and skin slapping against skin. You feel the band snap, your legs shaking uncontrollably beneath him and your release rushes through you.

“Fuck baby, i’m so close, fuck!” Rafe groans out, his dick twitching inside you as the hot ropes of his cum spill inside you.

He lets his body fall onto yours, fighting to catch his breath, “I love you”

You place a soft kiss to his cheek, smiling, “I love you too”

He pulls himself from inside you, rolling onto his side and off the bed. You watch as he disappears into the bathroom, emerging seconds later with a warm washcloth in hand. He begins cleaning the inside of your thighs.

Once he’s done cleaning you up, he grabs his briefs from the floor, slipping them back on and moving to grab your t-shirt.

The two of you quickly get dressed, the room completely silent until Rafe clears his throat and grabs your hands, pulling you toward him.

“So I just want you to know, this wasn’t me using sex to pull you back into my fucked up life.. I understand if you still don’t want to be with me..”

You sigh, bringing your hands to his face and kissing his lips, “Rafe I know we’ve been through this before, and we go through the same cycle time and time again, but I love you. So i’m willing to try this again”

A big smile takes over his face, and he pulls you into a long, sweet kiss. When he breaks the kiss he looks deeply into your eyes, “I promise i’ll show you how much you mean to me, how much I love you. I promise you’ll see the change in me, i’ll be the man you deserve”

You giggle. “I trust you, Rafe. And most importantly I love you. Now let’s get back down there before everyone thinks we killed each other”

RAFE TAGLIST: @whore-4-drewstarkey @ivy-34 @aemonddtargaryen @thelomlisrafecameron @rafegirly @f4ll-for-you @drewstarkeyslut @starkeypankowsbae @lizcameron @m-1234 @dilvcv @thewitchesofart @rafesgfxo @unsaidjaelinrose @abbybarnesstuff @itsmytimetoodream @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @r1vrsefx @alexisbaumann2004 @yourfavborderhopper @moremaybank @mel119g @rafetopia @rafecameronnslut @rafemotherfuckincameron @jade-is-jaded @jjmaybankisbae @lexasaurs634 @softlilacarrest @fayerite @exhaustedbutelated @lyndys @urmyslxt @presleyanswrites @sierraluvz @carma-fanficaddict @rafescokenostril @madzzz0797 @slytherhoes

rafe masterlist | taglist form

[hvnlygrl]

smut dialogue.

"aren't you going to thank me?"

"aw, it hurts? too bad. you're gonna keep taking it until i’m satisfied."

"baby, i could do this all day."

"be a doll and do a spin for me, won’t you? you just look so adorable."

"come. sit."

"cry all you want… i'm starting to think you're enjoying this."

"did i give you permission to do that?"

"don't be shy now, sit on my face."

"don't you hide that cute face from me. i wanna see all of you."

"good girl—that's a good fucking girl."

"have it your way, then. just be prepared for the consequences."

"i'd hate to do this, but you're giving me no choice."

"keep talking shit and i'll show you the other things i can do with that mouth of yours."

"open up."

"shh, you don't want the others to hear, do you?"

"so good for me, you ready for your reward?"

"that's it. that's my girl."

"what pretty noises you're making for me… am i making you feel good?"

"what's the matter, love? you get nervous when i look at you like this?"

"you can give me another one, can't you baby? for me, please?"

"you can pretend all you want, i can see the fucking mess you're making of yourself."

"you heard me. i told you to take off your clothes."

"you like it when i fuck you like this? yeah you do."

"you look so pretty like this."

"you're gonna have to ask me nicely or you won't get it at all."

"you're so filthy... all this for me? how cute."

“been there, done that. wouldn’t recommend.”

“bite me.” - “thought you’d never ask.”

“don’t stop.”

“don’t tempt me.”

“fuck you.” - “when?”

“fuck, that’s it.”

“i bought this for you. it’s your favorite color.”

“i hate you.” - “really? cause your body says otherwise.”

“i missed you. a lot.”

“i’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“i’m gonna kiss every inch of your skin and then i’m gonna fuck you until you cry.”

“i’m not wearing any panties.”

“i’m yours.”

“more, please.”

“No more seats, guess I have to sit in your lap.”

“no one’s ever made me feel like this.”

“no, i’m supposed to be making you feel good.”

“say my name.” “louder.”

“spank me, then.”

“spread your legs, i wanna see how turned on i made you.”

“try to stay quiet for me, can you do that?”

“what did you just say?”

“what happened last night?”

“you always turn me on when you do shit like that.”

“You clean up nicely”

“you cocky bastard.” - “what’s that? you want my cock?”

“you have no idea how much i want you right now.”

“you look so beautiful tied up in my bed.”

“you want to do this right now? even though we could get caught?”

“your nipples are so sensitive today.”

“your skin is so soft.”

“you’re fun to touch.”

“you’re gonna regret that.”

“you’re so beautiful.” - “shut up and fuck me.”

-> back to blog guide.

[l4zyb0n35]

hai :3 can you do alastor with a s/o who is annoyed by men but she sees him and is like "but you're okay" because he's not a brute. it's like wow they're both mean to everyone except each other <3

This is the ask i always needed because like it’s literally just so real. Like, Alastor needs an s/o that understands him like this, no??? Sorry i got so lazy with this since it so not small headcannons, but i will be sure to make a fic of if, i already put it on my list <3

PAIRING: Alastor x F!Reader

SUMMARY: Check ask ^^

WARNINGS: Small mention of violence, implied sexual harassment, language, misogyny, protective behavior, comfort and trust, lmk if o missed anything <3

NOTICE: please don't copy or steal or translate any of my work or you will be haunted in your dreams and i will spawn something unpleasant at your porch the next day. But...thanks for liking my work !! >.< Property of @l4zyb0n35 and @genderlessdude92

Requests are open, support is highly appreciated!

〰ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ..。.:*･ﾟ♫₊ ♪ *♬‧₊enjoy!~

I think you both probably met smack in pentagram square, believe it or not.

He was walking out the tailor shop and basically you were being cornered by sharks or sum shit and he was like “nuh uh.”

After dealing with him while you were watching you asked, “why did you do that???”

he was like “fym he was gonna molest you.”

and that’s how you guys met <3

…and it went on from there.

now, when we you two first went to the hotel and met angel dust, you were like “fuck no, i’m out of here”

from a lot of convincing though, you stayed to help alastor.

angel honestly…kinda hated you at first??? just honestly though you were ‘hoarding’ al.

now, i know you specifically put only alastor in that ask for the reader to tolerate…but husk.

-not romantically. you just…well, he just hates about everybody in hell, and that’s understandable.

you both understand each other. so you don’t hate husk.

like alastor, yes, you despise vox.

he is a clout chaser, he’s most likely sexist, and it’s fun whenever you guys mess with him.

laughing at the thought rn give me a moment.

Alastor honestly gets confused sometimes for whenever you guys go out and you wear a dress that can be considered provocative of sorts, he asks you why.

you say that it looks good on you, then he likes, “are you good???”

ur always careful whenever you aren’t around alastor, let’s say running a quick errand outside.

so he learns later on that whenever you two are together and out, you just feel more comfortable.

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

END NOTES: Kinda short notes cause i’m tired, but this might be one of my favorite asks on tumblr in a while. It’s my first one on this blog, but not on tumblr. And i’ve done A LOT of asks on tumblr 💯. Bye guys i’m going to bed for the 3rd time today. I WILL be sure to make a fic of this soon, putting it on my list, but for now i’m posting the general headcannons.

-Lynn Lazybones

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

Masterlist Link

[zairene]

THE CAR WINDOW. nanami kento

* ˚ ✦ synopsis: while you’re out running errands, you approach a random car window to adjust your appearance not knowing there was someone watching from the inside.

* ˚ ✦ genre: fic, 1.2k word count !

* ˚ ✦ author’s note: gonna lean more into a jjk blog for a bit !

it was an average day.

you were low on some cleaning supplies in your home and decided that today would be the day you finally dragged yourself out of your bed to go to this damn store. it was the same routine every time. you went to the store, bought what’s off your list, then spent some time “eye-shopping” which meant in your terms to buy everything you see and spend way more than intended.

but this time, you were not about to repeat this habit of yours. you will get in the store, get what you need not what you want, and get out. that’s it. that’s what was on your mind when you got out of your car. you could hear the sound of your keys dangling as you fiddled to lock the doors of your car. you were speed walking in the parking lot determined to make your goal a reality.

but to your luck, a fly decides to invade your personal space which leaves you waving your hands like a lunatic and frantically patting your face down. now, this was not out of fear but more out of annoyance. and when the fly finally realized that it’d done enough torment to you, you were slightly embarrassed but realized that amid your freak out your hair was out of its side part and the part of your hair you’d been neglecting to fix was on display for any bypasser to witness.

on instinct, you walked to a random car window and began to fix this monstrosity of a mess this stupid fly had caused. too many thoughts were running through your mind to even realize the stranger peering through that same window from the inside.

to your horror, the car window winds down and you freeze. you come into eye contact with a man. a blond man with eyes so heavy, that they could probably carry all of your grocery bags in one trip. he sighed deeply and ran his hand through his hair. “are you done?” huffed the annoyed man.

“oops.” was the only thing you could manage to muster in that situation as a wave of shame washed over your body.

“‘oops?’” he repeated.

“i mean…” you facepalmed. “i’m so sorry, sir. i didn’t notice that you were in your car.” you stood up completely disregarding your looks at this point.

“sure. now can you get out of the way? i have things to do and i don’t have the time to deal with trivial matters such as this.” you were shocked at the blunt but rude statement.

“excuse me?” you crossed your arms. “i get that i blocked your way but it wasn’t intentional, and i apologized.”

“or you should’ve paid more attention, and maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation, yeah?” your eyes widen. you were not about to put up with disrespect this early in the morning.

“well, who shit in your cereal this morning?” you scoffed.

“nobody ��shit in my cereal,’” he mocked, “i’m just annoyed that you blocked my way without any consideration that maybe someone was in the car.”

“it was a damn expression! there was no need for you to be so rude. all you had to do was say it was okay and we still wouldn’t be here!” at this point, you were heated. the coarseness from this man had made your mood a whole lot worse than it already was. “you know what, i don’t have time for this. good-fucking-bye.”

you walked away from the car, not wanting to listen to anything else he had to comment about your actions. needless to say, that single-handedly ruined your day. and it didn’t help when you ran into this man once again at the same store, in the same parking lot but only about a week later.

this time, you were just here to see some things you could buy for your house since you were bored and your friends were busy. you were just walking when a voice rang out behind you, “hey!”

you turned around to see the same man from a few days back. you rolled your eyes and turned back around. you weren’t exactly excited to deal with his shenanigans again. but this time, he was persistent. “wait!” he yelled again, seemingly getting closer. you stop in your tracks and sigh deeply—loud enough for him to hear. you swiveled around on your heel to see him again.

“what do you want?” you said in the same displeased tone he had when he first met you. he shuffled on his feet, looking slightly lost on what to say. for someone who was just telling you to basically fuck off the other day, he looked quite adorable from the way he looked nervous trying to spit out what he had to say.

“look…” he struggled to maintain eye contact, but still looked at you anyways. “i’m… sorry about what happened the other day.“

“oh really?” a smug look grew on your face.

“yes, really. i wasn’t in a good mood and really tired—“

“i wasn’t either and i was only running on a few hours of sleep. next excuse?” you quickly retorted. he furrowed his eyebrows.

“i don’t have any. it was extremely uncivil of me to act toward you in that manner, especially since it was merely an accident.” you raised an eyebrow.

“oh really? anything else you wanna say?”

he sighed. “yes, and that i’m seriously sorry for this. and because of the way i acted…” he paused, figuring out a way to word this next statement. “i was wondering if i could treat you to lunch sometime soon.”

“and what makes you think i’ll say yes to that?”

“i have to make it up to you somehow, correct?”

your eyes widened. now that was a surprise from him. with the way he presented himself, it looked like he struggled with saying the word sorry. maybe you had justifiably misjudged his character. i mean, he was very attractive. tall, quite muscular with nice short blonde hair that framed his face. his jaw looked like it could slice through any tension that was clear in the air between you too, with plump pink lips to match.

his looks weren’t the only factor that somewhat swayed you to agree, it was also the apology and the way he wasn’t phased by your comments and came back with the right words. so, he isn’t that bad after all, you thought.

“okay.. sure.” you smiled. you pulled out your phone from your back pocket and opened the ‘phone’ app, opening the keypad and giving the phone to him to suggest that you wanted his number. after a few seconds of tapping, he gives you your phone back and you go to save his contact. you quickly grasp that you never got his name.

“oh, i never got your name. what is your name?” you looked up at him, it seems he forgot too. “right. nanami. n-a-n-a-m-i.” he spelled out for you as you typed. you nodded.

“well, okay nanami. my name is y/n, it’s nice to meet you.” he gave you a small smile. “it’s nice to meet you too y/n.”

“i’m gonna go, i have things to do. i’ll text you later.” he nodded and you turned around again but this time in a better mood than you were in before. you had already walked about a few feet when you heard a yell.

“wait, how is your name spelled?”

“you’ll figure it out!” you yelled back. waving your hand goodbye.

(🪭) — JUJUTSU KAISEN TAGLIST // @mypimpademia @megurulvr @chinieh @jogeto @jamies-cumslut @laylasbunbunny @edgyficuselastica @goldenglow149 @s-surreality @fiannee @4kh @stqrriichiigo

(📝) — TAGLIST FORM :: sign to be apart of the taglist!

[straws-and-sunflowers]

Life Update.

Creampuff- remember the 9 month old Pomeranian that’s quite fat with the pretty blue eyes?? I sure do.

Feel free to read at your own discretion

(TW: blood mention)

Long story short:

She has internal bleeding in her left eye, I’ve got three different types of eye drops, one oral medication…and blood tests has been done, the eye doctor for her doesn’t know why..and I guess overall life has been shit.

I’m behind on school- I won’t get into that whole mess, money is…shit.

I guess…I don’t know why I’m posting this, cause I’m not gonna beg for money- I know most of my followers can’t pay for commissions or anything- I wanted to let you all know why posts have been weird..I’m not obligated to post often though? I’m a stranger on the internet after all.

If this mess isn’t cleared up by the time Siggy is able to post on their Law ask blog for whatever reason, I’m sorry. I just..haven’t been feeling myself and..yeah.

Creampuff is fine, still active as ever- but..if you want to talk commissions at all-I have this post, it’s kind of old, but you’ve all seen the improvement in my art..so..yeah.

If you want to message me, here’s my discord: ghost_head_8808

I’ve never done commissions before so be kind-?? If you want to request something..

This is what it looks like:

Ok bye…

[eldritch-spouse]

holy shit pinnie you really know how to write angst. i was reading your posts about Krulu killing the self of admin and i was flat out crying in my bed.

couple curiosities abt it though, is there any possibility that Admin could ever come back to their full self and is Krulu ever haunted by nightmares of Admin? (if he does sleep and dream that is. but i’m imagining like, Krulu finally getting a fitful night of rest and the moment he closes his eyes he’s greeted by admin back to their full self before being forced to lose them again by his own hands) Thank you for the wonderful content pinnie<3 your blog gives me great joy

[You're welcome! Really? Because most angst doesn't really inspire me. Stuff like "well, what if you killed yourself" or sporadic events that cause death just sort of tire me out. "What if reader cuts themselves?"/"what if reader is depressed?". I've grown very tired of those. The thing with you and Krulu was new.]

There were times after that specific scenario where I humored you coming back, but wrong. Not as an undead, but just fucked up. Something happened to your soul during the process, as is likely- Krulu has no idea how difficult it is to pry an intact soul from Dorem's hands these days. And you're clearly not the same person, everyone notices.

You lose track of things, you say stuff that you never would before, you seem genuinely apathetic over most of what goes on, in spite of the way Krulu trained you to feign care and respect. There are moments where that carefully drilled facade falters and you just look... Empty. Confused. As if asking why you're still alive. You're not truly there, some part of you was forever obliterated in this process, memories are missing, your capacity to love is non-existent, as is the ability to hate.

Sometimes, when you have nothing specific to do, you'll grab things that can potentially kill a human and just look at them for a long time. It goes against your indoctrinated mind to hurt yourself, because Krulu would take it as an insult- But you also know that you shouldn't be here. The keeper is calling for your soul. You're lost. Return to him.

Your bizarre behavior doesn't end there, as you've also taken to being amongst corpses when nothing calls to you. It seems right, why aren't you rotting?

You can survive without food for so much longer than you should have. In fact, you hardly have an appetite. You hardly feel pain. Or pleasure. Or most things. Something both the staff and Krulu do their best to collectively ignore.

The bucket tips when Krulu calls you to his floor and silently shows you the raven figurine.

And you, blank as a canvas, with wind in your mind, simply put on the smile you know he likes to see. There's no hint of recognition, no crumb of genuine thought, not even muscle memory seems to have stuck with you.

He's livid beyond words and meaning.

The next day, no one questions what's happening when you start your shift with the very same figurine protruding from your chest in a bloodied mess, where your heart supposedly is. You don't look to be in pain, or care much about it, but it's shattering their illusion.

Because now, they have no choice but to admit that even more irreversible damage was done to you.

Not just your body, but your soul.

In his effort to bring you back, Krulu made sure that there will never be a vestige of you ever again.

And that's enough to make him want to bury himself under The Clergy to die and rot.

[baurbiediv]

needed

PAIRING ➔ toxic!jack harlow x gf!reader

WARNINGS ➔ none

AUTHORS NOTE ➔ listen to needed by brent faiyaz

DISCLAIMER ➔ in no way am i portraying jack’s behavior in this way! it’s just for shits & giggles and heart break!

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

“save your breath, don’t even speak on me now.”

“you and your friends ran my to the ground.”

“you left me then so i figured it out.”

“save your tongue, don’t even give me a call.”

“if i was a bum, you wouldn’t call me at all.”

“i don’t say it enough, i’m getting tired of y’all.”

“you say you’re so happy for me, you’d always know what i would be.”

“where was the love when it was needed?”

you knew better than to keep messing with jack, the first time should’ve been enough. he was having you make yourself look like a fool, all over social media and behind the screen. countless times you’d convinced yourself that one day, you would get up and leave him.

easier said than done though, right?

jack has you constantly making yourself look idiotic. when he told you he was going out to clubs to promote his albums, he was, but that was partly true.

blogs were all over it, posting a copious amount of pictures with girls all over him and in his section. nobody in your life understood why you chose to be with him.

it was evident he wasn’t treating you the way any normal person would treat their significant other. on some nights, you find yourself with tears spilling out of your eyes, jack had constantly ‘promised’ that he’d turn his life around because he ‘truly loved’ you.

a part of you wanted to believe that he was partially telling the truth and that he was being honest. you already knew how this game went though, he tells you he’ll change for you and yet, he turns around and does the exact same thing.

the small led clock read 1:57 am, the faint sound of cars honking and occasional blow of the wind were the only things that were keeping you awake.

you could hear the sound of the front door unlocking. you knew it was jack since he was the only other person to come in at this time of night and he was quite literally the only other person who has another key to the house.

your back faced faced the bedroom door and you closed your eyes to avoid whatever foolishness jack was up to. the bedroom door opened.

jack’s somewhat heavy footsteps could be heard leading up to the bed, you hoped that he’d just go to bed and not fool around. the bed dipped beside you as he now made his presence known, his lips softly pressed against your cheek and made your way down to your neck.

“hi baby, i missed you.” he mumbled, the rasp in his voice obvious. in that moment you thought your heart would probably burst out of your chest, yet you were growing annoyed with him and his actions.

“jack ..” you grumbled while pushing his face away, “i’m not in the mood.” you could hear him smack his lips, and you wanted to smack his entire face off his head. you reached over to the nightstand and turned on the bedside lamp.

who did he think he was, for him to come in during the late hours of the night and think that he’ll get whatever he wanted?

you sat up against the headboard and scoffed, “with that attitude, you can go sleep on the couch.” you told him, the look on his face almost made you want to laugh.

“i’m not sleeping on that damn couch.”

“and you’re sure as hell not sleeping in this bed. find a blanket and a pillow, and lay down on the floor.”

“y/n why are you acting like this.” he questioned like you were the one who did something wrong.

“cause you ain’t shit jack. don’t think i haven’t seen those blogs. i’m not stupid.” you looked at him and suddenly he looked guilty.

just like you wanted him to.

you got up and walked towards the closet which had jack questioning what you were about to do.

“and you don’t even like me, neither do your friends. i’ve heard about the things y’all say about me. and if you claimed you ‘loved’ me, you wouldn’t even let the shit come out of their mouths. jack who do you think i am? some bitch that’ll wait on her hands and knees for you?”

you occasionally dropped his clothes near a window, until you opened it.

“i’ve dealt with your shit for too long jack, i really did and i loved you. but clearly the feeling wasn’t reciprocated.” you faked a frown before you threw the clothes out the window.

jack swore he never reacted faster, he made his way to you and pulled you away from the window and looked out of it, “y/n are you serious!” he tried to restrain from yelling.

the smile on your face was very clear, meaning there was no regret for what you did.

jack left the room quickly and you followed him out to the doorway of the backyard, he grabbed as many clothes as he could, hoping to come back for the rest that he couldn’t grab.

without thinking you locked the door behind him, you watched as he twisted and pulled the knob.

“y/n, i’m not playing with you. open this door!” he yelled but you shook your head.

“have fun sleeping with those other bitches tonight!”

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

just a lil sum as i’m coming back from my unannounced writing hiatus, i missed you guys sm

[burning-fcols]

❧ I feel like your blog is too organized compared to mine ☒ I’m worried my blog isn’t fancy enough for you ✎ I can’t write long enough replies and don’t want to annoy you ✉ I don’t know how best to contact you ✂ I sent you something and you never replied I really wanna I really really wanna :(( - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @ʙɪᴛᴛᴄɴɴᴇᴄᴋ 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

✧   「 ᴍᴇᴍᴇ   」   ✧ 

(( *scampers in here to Reassure that—* I think your blog is great! I don't judge based on fanciness™ ( we're all just here to have a good time ) and prefer to choose based on whether I can mesh with the writing being done. I followed you back because I enjoy what you create ( although i Do also think your blog looks nice, aesthetically-speaking :3 ) and seeing you on dash. ))

(( Also please do not worry about length when it comes to me because I NEVER expect others to match. *motions frantically at my essays* I couldn't be brief to save my life and honestly, I don't want to. XD I have the most fun writing novella and have Accepted This, but my partners are free to do Whatever they want. Because it's all about enjoyment, not putting pressure on yourself. I adore every reply I get. Also, annoying me is Never an issue 'cause I am but a bean vibing. lol ))

(( I did see the ask you sent and like it! I'm just- terrible at getting to things in a timely manner most of the time. Sorry about that, and I really need to go through my drafts/asks because frankly, they're a hot mess. As for contacting me, I can shoot you my Discord if you'd like. I'll be real: I can be slow as shit due to a number of reasons, but Discord is still way better because at least I can SEE my notifs. Unlike Tunglr, which has a nasty habit of not alerting me when I have new IMs. ))

[stephs-place]

This blog is like meaningless, no one looks at it, no one fucking knows it exists, it’s just a vapid place of nothingness where one persons complete fucking disaster of a life is on display. I’m sick of being this person, I’ve tried to be different, I got better, I got medicated and I’ve been acting right and I’ve been trying really really really hard to not do the things that I know make me worse. But it hasn’t mattered, no one in my fucking life gives a shit, no one reaches out, no one cares if I live or die, I fucking hate people. I fucking hate fake ass bullshit friends that lie and that tell you that it’s gonna be okay, and that it won’t be different, and that they won’t think of you differently, those people are fucking wrong, those people don’t give a shit if you live or die, they just want to stop having to deal with you. You don’t have to deal with me anymore, I’m not broken, I can be good, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that I’ve improved, or that I’m still trying to improve, or that in spite of everything I still don’t blame anyone, that in spite of everything I just want to be happy and to have friends who care and who enjoy my presence. I’m sorry that I fucked up, I’m sorry that I wasn’t good, I promise I can do better, I don’t even know why I’m pleading. It won’t bring anything back, the summers gone, the people are gone, the love is gone the fun times are gone, I’m back to where i was. It’s like I’m a senior again, getting fucked up every night, barely talking to people, just wasting time until I die. I don’t want to waste time anymore, I’m done with being a broken mess. I think it’s tonight, I think if all goes to plan no one will ever have to worry about me again, because clearly I didn’t mean enough the first time, I stuck around cause I thought it’d get better, I stayed hopeful in that place because I thought it’d would get better, it doesn’t matter though. I’m just a fucking freak after all, it’s probably all the better that I go out sooner than later.

For the one person who used to read this blog, who used to like my depressed ramblings, I hope you’re doing well. I really hope things got better for you, I don’t know you but you deserve happiness and you deserve a life that’s enjoyable and one in which you are comfortable.

[liggy-not-potter]

intro

hello :3 i’m liggy, i go by she/her pronouns, i’m 14 (a minor, don’t be creepy), acespec and possibly arospec. if you follow me i will most likely refer to you as my child out of a mom friend habit.

hobbies

i’m a freaking nerd, so book and movie recs are welcome! i’m in a lot of fandoms, so i probably can’t list them all here. harry potter, both canon era and marauders (fuck jkr) and the fanfic i’m writing where harry has a sister no one knew abt. (posting that on ao3). legendborn by tracy deonn, percy jackson (i’m not done with it so no spoilers please), mcu, the owl house, gravity falls, amphibia

i write songs and poetry, i play piano, ukulele, violin and guitar i like drawing but i’m not very good at it all the time, i have thousands of failed art pieces.

dni

the usual. if you discriminate against any minorities or hate people solely because of a group they belong to (religion/lack thereof, race, sexuality, gender orientation)(unless it’s stuff like terfs, neo-nazis and such bullshit if it’s a group that causes harm intentionally you’re right to hate them)

random shit about liggy

i have a gluten intolerance meaning i can’t have anything containing wheat, and i make jokes about it. well, brie does most the joking.

i have adhd and most likely a hint of something else neurodivergent. i’m a mess, but at least i’m not boringly neurotypical ur local owl (do not ask questions) i’m a minor so don’t be creepy, i don’t care abt interacting with adults as long as you aren’t being a creep i refer to myself in the third person sometimes, get the fuck over it gryffindor - enfp - scorpio

the rats (my moots) @jamespotterbbg — kay — my first moot, chaotic, mentally ill as the rest of this site, is the reason i’ve even interacted with half of these people @garden-of-runar — runaround — talented poet, fellow defender of bagels, absolutely and entirely concerning, you’ll never know her next move @melonhead10 — wife of mine — silly little rat, one of the only people on here i know irl, rarely online bc strict parents, if she is online it’s to look at shiny duo and tangled the series @eef-stars — british ethan — the gay dad friend of this whole hellsite. king of deactivating and coming back out of nowhere. happily in love with @kawaiibarty @kawaiibarty — james the baked bean — short, gay and irresponsible. has too many doggies but we don’t care bc doggies are great. changes his url every two seconds. in love with @eef-stars @tequilaqueen — bea — possibly an alcoholic, you’ll never know. hates bagels and commits war crimes. @picklerab23 — dill — lives in a jar on a shelf in a grocery store in wales. speaks in consonants and y’s. @crowleys-mortalcounterpart — brie — my child. genderfluid lesbian variant of remus lupin. descendant of the scottish. some unknown flavor of neurodivergent. i also know them irl. @0urazz — satan — brie’s sister and my daughter. chaos incarnate, addicted to regretevator and some other random ass roblox games. one step away from being gen alpha. the attention span and brain capacity of a grain of rice. violently affectionate. ik her irl as well @thejudeduarte — jude — cruel prince and legendborn fan. really nice and sometimes chaotic. @iamaladder — stepladder (ethan’s version) — chaotic aarakocra boi, old crusty man (in other words a year older than me) another person i know irl @thestrawberryapologist — mari — purchaser of jams, very goofy, does silly sitcom rp with me, recently returned to tumblr after disappearing on us

(if u want to be added ask me, i just gotta save it)

interactions

blow up my ask box, tag me on stuff, and message me all you want. i love being on here and talking to people and making friends <3

my pinterest poetry side blog: @liggy-attempts-poetry ask game: here ask game 2: here moodboard on banner is a collage on my pinterest

my tags: liggy rambles: all my random ass posts liggy found an ask: i answer asks liggy attempts to sing: i sing liggy attempts poetry: my (likely reblogged from side-blog) poetry nonsense liggy special: i most likely did something fucking stupid jam murder sitcom: a silly sitcom thing i do with mari to the queue you go motherfucker: my queued posts, likely because i’m out of townliggy rambles in the tags: i rant to everyone and no one in the tags

[thegirlfromhawkins]

Bleaching/Dyeing Your Hair ft. Eddie Munson

Inspired by me bleaching my hair for the uhhh idk how many times I present you this lovely headcanon. It was something short and sweet I could write today since I’m a bit busy at the moment but welcome to my blog! First actual story post and there is more to come! Thank you for reading! (I will be making a master list when I get more works out.)

✪ good lord when you came to his trailer with a box of bleach and hair dye he was shocked but not super shocked

✪ he totally gets the whole do it yourself thing and not having to pay for someone else to do it for you… even if doing it yourself has a more likely chance of something going wrong

✪ before even letting you bust open a box he’d stop you

✪ “Babe are you sure you want to do this?”

✪ “Yes. I am positive.”

✪ “I just don’t want you to regret it or something love.”

✪ though he has no experience with the whole changing hair color thing he gladly steps in to help

✪ he even bestows one of his old band tees to wear so you don’t ruin your clothes

✪ he must read through all the instructions before allowing the process to start even if you tell him you know exactly what you’re doing.

✪ (it’s not because he doesn’t trust you, he just doesn’t want to mess up while helping you)

✪ “Y/N it says to split your hair into four sections not two.”

✪ “I don’t care if it takes longer to section it out, I am not messing up your hair.”

✪ once he’s got the first step down after however long it takes for this man to get his shit in order he insists on mixing everything up and begins to claim he’s your “personal hairdresser”.

✪ “Jesus Christ why does it smell so strong!?”

✪ “It’s burning my nose just smelling it. You’re sure you want this on your head?”

✪ after he finishes each section making sure to get the bleach on every strand possible he gives you a kiss

✪ he also sticks his tongue out as he’s trying to work with such precision

✪ (if only he would have worked that hard to graduate sooner)

✪ after he gets done with your hair he looks it over and gives a satisfied smile to you

✪ he’s so proud of himself gosh he’s the sweetest boy

✪ after setting a timer on his watch and giving you a kiss you’d think he’d be more relieved but nope

✪ this boy checks his watch constantly while you sit and watch tv while waiting to rinse out your hair

✪ “Eddie it hasn’t even been ten minutes.”

✪ “I know, I know! I’m just checking the time…”

✪ right as that timer beeps you better get your ass up quick cause your hair will not be ruined with this boy around

✪ he quickly finds a nice temperature for the water coming out of the faucet and helps you get your head under it

✪ running his fingers through your hair he watches as all the bleach goes down the drain

✪ he was doing great until…

✪ “Eddie! My eyes! You’re getting it in my eyes!”

✪ water is then flung around the bathroom as he curses frantically trying to find the closest clean towel as fast as humanly possible

✪ profusely apologizes for the incident after finishing up your hair and drying it with a towel

✪ even after you say you’re okay he still can’t help but feel a little bad

✪ when you both make your way back into the kitchen you notice how late it was

✪ with pleading eyes Eddie simply asks,”Tomorrow night?”

✪ knowing you were both tired from not only the day but also the hair bleaching events you agree

✪ (how could you not agree with those eyes?)

✪ after a sigh of relief from Eddie you both enjoy the rest of your night in watching movies and listening to music as usual until it’s time to get some sleep

✪ cuddling up together is Eddie’s favorite part of you sleeping over but he can’t help but have other things occupying his mind and one thought comes out in a whisper

✪ “You still smell like bleach.”

[absolutepokemontrash]

I come bearing a request! The Brothers with an MC who's really good at cooking and baking? Like, the stuff food blogs dream of. Master-level instagram pastries. Could compete with the chocolate guy if they put their mind to it.

👀 ooooo, I do love me some pastries-

(I know you have an *ahem* distaste for Lucifer, dear moot, so enjoy Lucifer acting like a bit of a dingus in his section!)

Lucifer

Oh, the human can cook. *insert asshole eyeroll here*. Great. Wonderful. Groundbreaking. That’s what’s got all his brothers acting like- what was that word Levi used? Simps? This human has turned six of the seven rulers of hell into a bunch of simps.

Sure, the human has near godlike cooking prowess. Sure, everyone looks forward to their day for cooking. And sure, everyone thinks the human’s pretty great.

Tsk, not him though. He’s a refined demon. Some silly food isn’t going to make him a lovesick fool… did he smell eclairs..?

Lucifer peered into the kitchen to see MC carefully taking a tray of eclairs out of the oven and letting them cool off on the counter. His favourite dessert… right there in front of him…

Due to not being a total moron, MC notices Lucifer and asks him what the hell he’s doing just standing ominously in the doorway. Lucifer makes up some bullshit excuse about reminding MC to do their homework and just leaves. Okay, game plan, he needs those fucking eclairs or he will spontaneously combust.

As he snuck into the kitchen that night, Lucifer took a moment to briefly wonder why he was creeping around his own house. He was the Avatar of Pride for pity’s sake! He could eat whatever he damn well pleased! Oh shit was someone coming- no? Okay, back to sneaking.

Lucifer crept into the kitchen, saw the eclairs, and all logic was thrown out the window. Time to eat!

“BEEL NO! NOT THE- Lucifer..?” “…” “…” “…you’re very talented, MC, do you mind making more of these?”

SOMEONE SNAP A PICTURE! THIS IS THE CLOSEST LUCIFER HAS GOTTEN TO BEGGING IN THE LAST THOUSAND YEARS!

Mammon

Ugh, stuck babysittin’ some dumb human, how lame…

As Mammon was throwing a “I’m broke and I’m stuck in a pact with a dumb human” pity party, the most heavenly smell entered his nostrils. Cooking… good cooking… was Barbatos visiting or somethin’? Nah, Lucifer woulda made a big fuss about gettin’ ready for Lord Diavolo. Huh, so what was goin’ on in the kitchen?

Huh? The human? The human can cook? Well damn, maybe this whole deal wouldn’t be so bad. Oi! MC! As payment for babysittin’ ‘em, he got to have an extra big share of- OW!

Did- did the human just hit him with a spoon?! Th-they can’t do that!

Apparently they fucking can. Mammon gets told to sit the fuck down and wait for the food like everyone else. He grumbles on the way to the dining room, but he can’t fully hide his excitement to try the food.

The food even looked pretty! How did they do that?! Magic. It had to be!

After everyone’s tastebuds were blessed with the heavenly substance that is MC’s culinary exploits, Mammon decides he needs to get on this human’s good side in order to receive more food! Maybe even find some way to make a profit or somethin’!

After weeks go by of trying to suck up to the human without looking like too much of a chump, Mammon eventually realizes… hey, this human ain’t so bad. They’re nice, they make him feel good about himself, they give him headpats… he’s really hit the jackpot here!

He’ll offer to help MC bake or cook, but beware, he will try and sample the food before it’s done. Don’t let him lick the spoon!!!

Leviathan

First thought? This human ain’t shit. Thought after seeing their food? WOAAAAAAAH! JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME-

He was unceremoniously cut off by Beel asking demanding seconds. Humph, fine, he doesn’t actually care about this dumb normie food anyway.

…well at least until Levi saw a little something something on TV that he just had to ask MC to try and make. He shyly knocked on their door and when they answered, Levi shoved the screenshot in their face and stuttered out a dinner request.

On the day MC was supposed to make dinner, Levi poked his head into the kitchen and tried to make it look like he was just standing in the same room as MC and not checking to see if they were making his dinner request.

Not that he’d blame them for not doing that… who’d wanna make some anime dinner for a yucky Otaku- OMG JAHSHSHABA THEY’RE MAKING IT! *fangirl squeals*

As Levi continues to commit the SIN of being in the kitchen at the same time as someone else, MC eventually just asks him if he’d like to help out.

“Here! Just keep turning the takoyaki.” “R-really? You trust me?” “Yes, Levi. You watched how they made it on your show, right?” “Yes! I won’t mess up! I swear on my honour as an otaku!”

All in all, it was a very cute bonding experience for the two. Now it’s a regular thing. Levi requests something for dinner or dessert, MC makes it, Levi helps out.

Satan

So, the human can cook. That’s nice. At least someone in this literally god forsaken house can.

He makes sure to thank MC every time they cook, then he makes sure to thank whatever deity is watching over him that Solomon wasn’t the human staying with them.

As the months progress, Satan realizes, he should learn how to cook better. I mean, Levi and Mammon were somehow both improving in their cooking endeavours, and if MC could teach those two, then he would be a breeze.

Satan walked into the kitchen and simply asked if MC needed any assistance with what they were doing. MC just slid him some garlic to dice and that’s how this mentor/student relationship was formed.

Satan was a star pupil, but Mammon and Levi weren’t above trying to sabotage Satan’s progress to get him to leave.

Here’s the thing, the sabotage worked, but it only worked once, and the two idiots didn’t stop to think that maybe they shouldn’t sabotage the meal they were going to have to eat later.

Well, cooking lessons continued uninterrupted after the ghost pepper incident…

Even when he’s ‘graduated’ their little cooking class, Satan’s always willing to lend a hand if needed. He also will slyly hand over some recipe books and cute baking supplies that he finds. MC should be prepared for lots of cat related things to come their way.

Asmodeus

The human can cook? Oh frabcious day! He’s saved from a life of his brother’s mediocre cooking! And the human’s so cute too! What a bonus!

Not only is the human cute, but their food is just so… aesthetic??? Pretty???? Omigosh he just has to get a picture for Devilgram!

For the first few months, MC’s relationship with Asmo consists of Asmo not at all subtly asking to take pictures of their food and post it to his Devilgram. Listen MC, his followers would just love it!

Being the saint-sheep they are, MC lets Asmo sit in whenever they’re making anything in the kitchen. And Asmo slowly realizes “hey, this cute human with the awesome food is actually pretty cool too!”

New Mission: Make the human fall madly in love with him so they’ll want to hang out more.

Whether the mission succeeds is up to MC of course. (I mean, I’m already smitten with him sooooooooo-)

MC offers Asmo a lot of the pastries they make, but the Avatar of Lust almost always declines. Listen honey, he’s on a diet- wait, don’t make that sad face! He’ll eat it! Look! It’s- it’s delicious…

Diet cheat day is now every day MC makes dessert. The feeling of bliss Asmo gets when he takes a bite out of anything MC makes is only second of the treats is second only to the joy he feels at seeing MC happy that he likes their food. It’s just so wholesome I can’t-

MC’s food Devilgram has almost surpassed Asmo in terms of followers and honestly- he isn’t even mad.

Beelzebub

Gasp! Lucifer finally got him the pet personal chef he’d always wanted! Thanks big bro! :D he’ll be sure not to eat this human!

On the first night MC was supposed to make dinner, Lucifer needed to hold Beel back from breaking into the kitchen to see what was causing that heavenly smell. It was, difficult… especially because Lucifer hadn’t slept in three days.

When they all sat down to eat, Beel practically inhaled everything and held up his half bitten plate for seconds.

We here at Stupid Headcanons incorporated recommend that MC have as many bodyguards as possible stationed around the kitchen at all times to ward off a hungry Beel. We don’t want him eating the ingredients and half-tempered chocolate.

A cinnamon roll through and through, he’ll eat everything MC gives him with a big ol’ smile on his cute little face. He’s not the best person to go to if MC wants advice or critique because the best thing Beel can usually muster is “it was really good.”

As Luke said in Lesson 5, Beel would make an awful food reporter. But we love him.

Similar to Levi, he’ll give meal requests on what to make for dinner. (At this rate, MC’s going to have to make some kind of list).

He kind of just waits by the door like a sad puppy whenever MC is making anything because he can’t get into the kitchen :(

Belphegor

The smell of freshly made chocolate chip cookies wafting through the house did reach the attic and it only fuelled his rage more. How dare the human win everyone over with cookies?!

After the attic incident, Belphie was won over with cookies.

Belphie just stands creepily in the kitchen doorway whenever MC is making anything and just makes shit really uncomfortable. Why’s he doing that, you may be wondering, well, he’s trying to calculate the energy needed to swipe the bowl of cookie dough and sprint to safety.

He never succeeds, mainly because once he gets to the bowl, MC already has the wooden spoon ready to smack him, so he just freezes mid-theft and slowly puts the bowl down.

“Oh my gosh, it says let the bread dough rest overnight? Let’s get a headstart and go to sleep now.” “Belphie what-” “I made a pillow Fort, come in. Let’s sleep.” “In the kitchen????”

How’d he make the pillow Fort without MC noticing? Years of experience. He’s trained in the art of- MC? What do you mean you can’t sleep right now and you need to get a head start on shaping fondant?

…he may have eaten the fondant while MC wasn’t looking… whoops… Beel may have rubbed off on him a little…

[goldengoddess]

it looks better on you - nikolai lantsov

pairing: nikolai lantsov x reader 

request: Hiii! I recently discovered your blog and I love everything you write, your Nikolai content deserves so much love (as does everything else)!But speaking of that cheeky bastard, would you be up for writing headcannons or in a style you’re comfortable with about Nikolai (Strumhond in this case) where reader is new to the job and packs light and forgets a coat, but Tamar tricks them into wearing Strumhond’s coat (being oblivious that it’s his) and Strumhond makes a sarcastic comment but in the end is fine with it? Don’t worry about if you’re busy - it just came to mind! ❤️

a/n: thank you sweet thing! i love my baby nikolai,,, this is so cute by the way i love the concept so much 

warnings: cursing, suggestive comments

you could not have been so stupid. 

it was your first week on this job. you were new to the crew of this ship, and you had done everything right up until that point. you wanted to make the best impression possible. strumhond’s crew was legendary. there wasn’t a single sailor on the seas that didn’t know his name.

and you, of all people, had been lucky enough to be chosen to help his crew. if you proved yourself, you hoped, you could get an actual permanent job with the crew. 

but of course that wasn’t going to happen, because you were going to freeze your ass off before you even got the chance to do anything useful.

your inability to think ahead had caused you to forget to bring a warm coat. most days at sea were warm, sometimes too warm, with the sun hitting your face and body at every angle.

but there were days like this one where the winds were too rough and the air to cold, and every part of your body felt like it could fall off due to frost bite.

you searched the deck of the ship around you, hoping to find a spare coat, but mostly to make sure that the captain of the ship didn’t see you freezing in the corner.

you’d seen him a couple of times in the last couple of days. usually giving an order or messing around with the closest of his friends on the ship.

he was cute, you couldn’t deny it. at a distance there was nothing wrong. but closer up it was easier to see that there were parts of his face that seemed.. wrong. you’d been around long enough to know a tailored face when you saw one.

you tried not to linger on the reasonings for his tailored face, it wasn’t your business and it didn’t change his ability to lead a crew. despite that, you couldn’t help but imagine what he looked like for real. he had this royal presence to him.

even though he was a pirate, sorry, a privateer, he knew how to hold command. how to get people to listen when they didn’t want to. to make deals and compromises whenever a fight broke out. to leave both sides satisfied. he was like a prince at sea.

okay so maybe the prince had caught your attention more than you wanted to admit.

but it was hard not to be interested in him when every time he made eye contact with you it felt so intense that your knees felt weak.

the sudden gust of cold air snapped your thoughts back to the reality of your situation. your arms were wrapped around your body, as if this position could make the light jacket you had on suddenly sufficient against the cold.

you saw tamar walk onto the deck from below deck. she turned and saw you huddled near the wall. you gave her a sheepish and embarrassed grin. tamar had been the first person to speak to you and though you’d only known her a couple of days, you knew she was the kind of person one trusted.

she walked over to you with an amused smile. you could practically feel the teasing retort that was about to come out of her mouth.

“you look a little warm y/n, you sure you don’t want to take off your jacket.” she sarcastically said, her grin growing on her face.

you rolled your eyes and let out an annoyed huff, “if i die from hypothermia i’m going to make sure to haunt you.”

she let out a throaty laugh. “good, i happen to like your company. you can help me scare the shit out of tolya. he could use a ghost visit.”

the two of you shared a laugh and then you looked at her with slightly sweet puppy eyes. “tamar, please please tell me you have a coat. i stupidly forgot to pack one, trying to keep my bag light.”

she nodded her head at you, “yeah i’ve noticed.” she thought for a moment and then her face broke out into a mischievous smirk. “well i don’t have a coat to lend you but i know someone who has a spare.”

you nodded your head rapidly with enthusiasm. “saints, yes. i won’t get any work done today without a coat.”

she smirked at you and some part of your brain was telling you that her smirk had something hidden behind it. an extra plan. the look of many of the criminals you’d met during your time in ketterdam.

she linked her arm through yours and pulled you towards one end of the ship where a long brown coat was laid on top of the helm of the ship.

you looked at her sceptically, “who’s coat is this?”

she shrugged, grabbing the coat and easing it onto you. “think of it as a community jacket. we all like to share.”

you grinned and let yourself slip into the warmth of the cloth. you shuffled around a little and grabbed onto the ends of the sleeves since the coat was on the bigger side.

“i like it”

tamar smirked and motioned for you to spin, “it suits you. like it was made for you to use it.”

you narrowed your eyes and her words but before you could say anything she was walking back below deck.

the rest of the day went by without a hitch. the cold stopped bothering you and completing your daily task were actually easier. the coat smelled of the sea, the feeling of the sun, and an oddly familiar cologne that you couldn’t quite place.

it was too late before you realized how badly you’d fucked up.

you were on the right end of the ship, tying knots as the sunset around you. tamar was sat on a box talking while you worked quietly.

“nice coat y/n. i didn’t know we were at that level in our relationship just yet.” you heard a voice say from a couple feet away.

your head jerked upwards at the voice and you met the eyes of the one and only strumhond. he wore a smirk on his beautiful face and he was leaning against one of the beams of the ship.

you looked down at the coat you were wearing and had grown fond of throughout the day and your eyes went wide. you snapped your head to the girl sitting next to you, only to find her laughing silently into her hands. you threw her the most menacing glance you could manage before turning your attention back to your captain.

you got up and started wiggling out of the coat, “i am so so sorry. i was freezing and i under packed and i knew i wouldn’t get any work done today if i was cold so i asked tamar and she gave me this one and i never would have borrowed it had i known that-”

you paused your rambling and the sound of strumhond’s laugh. he took a couple steps forward so that he was closer to you and tamar.

“y/n, sweetheart, it’s really okay. we wouldn’t want you to freeze now would we tamar?” he shifted his attention to the girl next to you, throwing a teasing threat.

she hopped off the boxes she was sitting on and began walking away. “nope.” she said, popping the ‘p’, “we wouldn’t want that.” and then she was gone, leaving you and the privateer alone.

you gave him a small, embarrassed, smile. “i really am sorry. i wouldn’t have taken it.”

you finished taking it off and tried handing it back to him. he grabbed it and opened it up, an invitation to step in.

you looked at him curiously. “what are you doing?”

he nodded his head, motioning for you to step into the coat. “just use it. it’s cold. plus.” he paused and slipped the coat onto you, popping the collar. “it suits you.”

you blushed and turned to face him, suddenly aware of the closeness between the two of you.

he looked you up and down. “yeah,” he said in a breath, “it looks better on you.”

your breath hitched and your blush grew down onto your neck.

he leaned forward, his mouth closer to your ear.

“but it would look better on my floor.” he teased before walking away.

oh fuck.

[hellfiremunsonn]

Smashing Pumpkins. Eddie Munson x Reader

Smashing Pumpkins.

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT

SUMMARY: basically ur a little shit and wont let him help you even though you’re definitely struggling and he keeps asking you to give him the knife but ur just in full goblin mode and wont let him and then you cut yourself a little, and hes like SEEE!!!

18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

Warnings: fem!reader, little bit of ditsy!reader, Eddie being the sweetest boyfriend, hospital, stitches, blood (reader slices her thumb pretty badly) a doctor (cause ya know, ur in the hospital) IF I MISSED ANYTHING ELSE LET ME KNOW 

 Word count: 1876

You’re sat in the middle of Eddies living room. Newspaper and a big black garbage bag surround you from where you say, legs splayed out into a V with a very large pumpkin in between them. You wanted to do something really cool and surprise Eddie with it when he came home from work, but the fucker came home early, ruining any chance of surprise. You were elbow deep into the pumpkin, pulling out the cold squishy insides and letting them splat onto newspaper next to you when he walked through the door.

He choked on the song he was humming, slightly startled at your presence, and even more so to see the giant pumpkin between your legs.

“Eddieeee!” You whined, tipping your head back. “You weren’t supposed to be home yet!”

He laughed, setting his things down on the counter before turning to you. “I mean I can leave if that’s what you want?” He said teasingly, thumb pointed to the door behind him.

“No, you can stay” You said mumbling, trying to hide your smile “But you ruined the surprise” You said with a pout, continuing with the squishy insides.

“Was the surprise the giant pumpkin in your lap?” He said shuffling towards the sink in the kitchen, washing his hands thoroughly of any left over grease and dirt from work.

“It might have been” you mumbled. “Well technically it was gunna be the jackolantern I’m turning it into, so you can’t look till it’s done okay?” You said picking up the large kitchen knife next to you and pointing it at him.

He laughed, putting his hands up in surrender, coming over to you, feet balanced on either side of the carpet not covered by pumpkin mess, as he leaned down to kiss you on the forehead.

You giggled. “You look like you’re playing a weird game of twister”

Eddie laughed, tipping his head back and almost losing his balance. “I’m gunna change, please don’t hurt yourself while I’m not in the room” He said with a pointed look.

“I’ve made it this far Munson, I think I can manage” you said smiling.

He rolled his eyes and left, a very dramatic “mhmm” leaving his lips as we went.

You continued gutting your pumpkin until you were satisfied with it’s mostly clean insides, and started on carving it. You really didn’t know what to put on it, and you didn’t really have the artistic abilities, to do something more creative, so you decided on making the pumpkin look as silly as possible. An all too happy pumpkin to sit outside of the Munsons home. You laughed to yourself as you started on its eyes, classic triangles.

When Eddie came back out, you had the pumpkin as close to you as you could get it, practically under your chin as you concentrated on guiding the knife back and forth through its thick skin.

Eddie audibly cringed when he saw the way you were handling the knife. “Baby can I do that for you?” He asked sweetly.

“M'fine Eds I got it” You said huffing, blowing a few strands of hair away from your face.

He tapped his fingers on his thighs. “What about using a smaller knife? It might be easier” he said taking a step towards you, slowly like you were a small animal that was going to get spooked at any sudden movement.

“They don’t cut as well as this one” You said with a grunt, the knife finally going through to the other side.

“You’re going to hurt yourself” arms crossed, like a parent scolding a child.

You looked up at him through your lashes. “You look like Steve” You said with a smirk, and he immediately dropped his hands to his sides, shoving them into his pockets. 

“Can I please do it for you?” He almost begged.

“If you take one more step I will stab you I swear” You said laughing, holding the knife up to point it at him again, a harmless threat because in actuality you would never hurt that soft boy intentionally. “I know how to use a Knife Edward, I’m not gunna hurt myself, I’ve carved a pumpkin with much worse”

Cringing at his full name he huffed. “Cause that’s exactly what I need to hear to reassure me of your safety” He said rolling his eyes and turning towards the kitchen.

You mocked him in a high pitch voice before stabbing the knife into the pumpkin once more “You worry too much, I’m very mu- Shit” You cut yourself; sliced the side of your thumb from where your hand was holding the pumpkin steady, the knife slipping out a little too much with your last pull, slicing the meaty side of your thumb. Dropping the knife haphazardly you wrapped your hand around your thumb with a whimper, afraid to look at the damage.

“You cut yourself didn’t you?” Eddie said coming to your side quickly.

“N-no” You stuttered, eyes big and watery, bitting down on your bottom lip.

“Can I see?” he asked softly, tentative hands on top of yours. Looking down you saw blood dripping down the palm of your hand and your heart beat quickened slightly. Letting go of your thumb slowly, your hand sticky with the warm substance, you realized you cut yourself a lot deeper than you thought. You shoved your hand back around your thumb tightly, doing a breathing exercise to try to keep yourself calm. Eyes back on Eddies, his softened at your expression, one hand coming to cup your cheek, brushing away the tears that began rolling down your flushed cheeks. “Hey you’re okay baby, were gunna wrap it up nice and tight, and just take a little trip to the emergency room okay?”

You whimpered and shook your head ‘no’ in response, words stuck in your throat, unable to get anything coherent out.

“It’ll be okay, promise” he said standing up and walking into the kitchen, returning to the floor next to you with a baby blue tea-towel in hand. “Here, c'mon, we gotta wrap your hand up babe” when you hesitated to give him your hand, afraid of losing more blood.

“I’ll be quick yeah?” He said reaching one of his hands out. You took a deep breath, leaning towards him and freeing your thumb from your hand, looking away while he swiftly wrapped the towel around it. He grabbed your other hand, bringing it back to your now wrapped hand, and squeezed your fingers, encouraging you to hold the towel tightly in place. You winced a little, a few more tears escaping when you finally opened your eyes.

“Alright up you get” Eddie said holding onto your elbows while you leaned them into his palms, steadying yourself as you stood up. Helping you into your shoes, Eddie knelt in front of you, quick fingers looping the old laces of your converse, wrapping one of his sweaters over your shoulders and leaning you to his van. Hopping up onto the ledge with you he made sure you were safe in your seat, leaning over you to buckle in your seatbelt before heading to the drivers side.

The wait wasn’t as long as you thought it might have been, and by the time a doctor finally saw you, your thumb had mostly stopped bleeding. Still from it being so deep, the doctor decided to give you two stitches, knowing it would heal faster this way.

“Alright if you would just turn your head, maybe look at your boyfriend there, I’m going to numb your thumb so I can stitch you up”

“Oh god” You mumbled, turning to Eddie, your free hand holding tightly onto the fabric of his shirt, in the centre of his chest. He brought both of his hands to yours, warm and large as they wrapped around it.

“You got this babe, it’ll be quick don’t worry” He leaned forward to kiss you on the forehead, his subtle attempt to loosen the tightness of your furrowed brows, creasing in the middle.

You felt the doctor take your hand, almost as gently as Eddie had touched it earlier, but you could tell it was more strategic verses being comforting.

“If you could just take in a nice deep breath for me” The doctor said calmly, and you did as you were told. Inhaling deeply, almost hurting your lungs with how much air you pulled in you groaned at the sharp pinch in your thumb, clenching your teeth together and leaning forward until your head rested on Eddies chest, just above your still clenched fist.

“Jesus, fuck, christ, shit, bitch, tit that hurts” You spat out the words, mostly muffled by Eddies chest. He tried not to laugh at your choice of expletives and how your feet were stomping quickly on the white tiled floor.

Within less than a minute, you were stitched back together, and wrapped up with a now comically large white gauzed thumb. You felt stupid, a little embarrassed, and a bit hungry. Unusually quiet on the drive home until Eddie turned to you briefly, before looking back at the road. “What’s up buttercup?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you felt silly for being emotional about it; maybe it was the adrenaline wearing off but still. “M'sorry” You said quietly.

Eddie turned to you again, a few times in a row to take in your expression while still driving safely. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for my love” he reached over with one hand, petting the hair away from your face, hand resting gently on the back of your head. You turned to face him, cheek pressing agaisnt the skin of his wrist.

“You don’t think I’m stupid?”

He snorted. “Hardly, you’ve hurt yourself in weirder ways”

“Never needed stitches though” You said with a pout, very much feeling sorry for yourself. “Oh god did I leave blood in your house? What if Wayne sees it and thinks you really did kill someone this time, oh no”

Eddie laughed hard at that one, it was loud and throaty, his hand returning to the steering wheel as he turned back down the road of the trailer park. “You know he wont be home until way later, and besides, you really didn’t bleed all that much, just a little much”

“Just a little much?” You repeated with a smile, cheeks sticky from leftover tears.

Eddie held up two fingers, his index and his thumb giving you a visual of how much blood actually came out. You rolled your eyes at him and laughed, unclipping your seatbelt and sliding out of his van, being extra cautious of your thumb, holding it against your chest for maximum protection.

Coming around to your side of the van, Eddie wrapped his arm around your shoulder, leading you back to the trailer. “Can I help you carve the damn thing now?” he asked, opening the door and letting you in first.

“Nah, I think we should smash it, I’m mad at it now” You said staring at the pumpkin through slitted eyes, hoping it could sense your hatred through your look.

“Smashing pumpkins huh? Sounds metal, I’m in” He said with a grin.

[thefanficmonster]

It’s Only Fair

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Minor Spoilers for RE8: Village

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: It’s all fun and games while Corpse is simping over Lady Dimitrescu, seeing as how Y/N herself isn’t immune to that woman’s charms. However, things get ‘serious’ when Corpse has to deal with his girlfriend making heart eyes at the hammer wielding final lord - Heisenberg.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for this incredible request - it hit close to home, not gonna lie hehe. Thank you so much for the opportunity you gave me with this request, I had a ton of fun turning it into a fic and I hope you have at least half as much fun reading it! Love, Vy ❤

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Heisenberg remind you of Lucas from the seventh game? I don’t know, all this speakers communication is giving me flashbacks I’m not too fond of. That guy traumatized me.“ Y/N shudders in her seat from where she’s observing Corpse’s gameplay while keeping tabs on the speeding chat, answering as many of the comments as she can.

“No idea. Never played the game.“ Corpse wheezes out, feeling the pressure’s on and working up a little bit of a sweat seeing as how this is the last lord he’ll have to battle before probably having to square up with Mother Miranda. The fact he’s running low on ammo has been stressing him out but luckily he has Y/N there to comfort him every time. She doesn’t even need to use words to do so or even ask him what’s wrong - just placing her hand on his knee allows him to feel relaxed and as though everything will be alright even though it probably won’t be if he doesn’t collect some money, ammo or supplies for making ammo soon.

“Wooow, fake fan, huh?“ Y/N pokes his side teasingly, “No, nevermind, I know exactly why you chose to play this, skipping all the previous ones in the process.“ She prods on, continuing to mess with Corpse who gives her a side-smile after having held on a still face for such a long time, features frozen in his focused and on-edge state.

He rolls his eyes, deciding to play her game, “Oh yeah? Why do you think that is?”

She scoffs, “Maybe cause thee other games don’t have 9ft tall vampire ladies? I don’t know, I’m just shooting in the dark here.” She delivers another poke to his side, giggling devilishly as she does so.

Corpse quickly takes hold of her hand, murmuring: “Maybe...” under his breath before bringing it to his lips and giving her knuckles a kiss.

Y/N wiggles her hand free from his grasp, mock-offended by his words, “Knew it! I freaking- Whoa, hello there, sir.” She cuts herself off as the game enters into a scripted cutscene, showing off the final lord in all his glory. “Who is you?”

“Y/N, Heisenberg. Heisenberg, Y/N.” Corpse laughs, “I forgot you missed the episode where he was first introduced.” 

“Damn do I regret that now.“ She whispers, eyes glued to the game instead of the screen of her laptop where she’s been fetching comments flying by. No one can blame the girl, she’s got a justified reason to be distracted. “Wish we met sooner, Mr. Heisenberg.“

Corpse finds his jaw on the floor in an instant as his head snaps to face his girlfriend, “Excuse me, what’s that supposed to mean?!”

Y/N frowns, narrowing her eyes at her boyfriend as she finally brings herself to tear her eyes off the screen where now the game has been paused. “What? You now get to complain? After I didn’t say shit about you drooling all over Lady Dimitrescu? It’s only fair I get my own simp-worthy subject, don’t you think?”

Corpse rolls his eyes, “This deal doesn’t seem like it’ll benefit you much - I get a hot, classy and rich vampire lady and you get...” he motions at the screen, his face twisting in a displeased expression, “...him.”

“Oh trust me, I’ll be perfectly benefited, don’t ya worry.“ She shoots him a wink, cackling quietly yet evilly at the shock-disappointment het comment is met with on her boyfriend’s part. “What?“ She asks though laughter, “He’s hella hot!“

“Ok, that’s it.“ Corpse gets up, pushing the desk chair Y/N’s sitting in forward, rolling it on its wheels towards the door, “You’ll be in exile until this chapter’s done with. I can’t have you simping all over the place, it’s bad for business. I mean, if you fall for guys who look like him, God knows what people will think I look like.“

“Well, you do need a shower but...“ Y/N comments through a fit of giggles, kicking her legs as to get up and off the chair but by the time she’s able to react, he’s already rolled her out in the hallway and shut the door of the recording room behind himself as though she can’t just open it and walk back in. Which is exactly what she does, much to his dismay - but she only pokes her head inside, “You’re right, it’s bad for your image, so I’ll clarify.“ She clears her throat, raising her voice as for it to be picked up by Corpse’s mic from across the room, “The two men in question don’t look at all alike, folks! Heisenberg is way hotter than Corpse!“

“OUT!“ Corpse shouts, sounding as threatening as he can while laughing his ass off alongside Y/N who has followed his ‘order‘ and stepped out in the hallway where her laughter can still be heard. “Guess the longer I don’t shower, the hotter I’ll appear to Y/N. Remind me to buy myself a cape as well. Wonder how much factories cost around the West Coast...“

“COPYCAT!“ Comes Y/N’s shout from outside the door, causing Corpse to break out in another fit of laughter.

Never did Corpse think he’d be trying to cop the ranks of a video game villain but here he is, actually googling the price of cape coats and he’s never felt more bemused with himself - ok, that may or may not be a lie considering he’s really digging the coats he finds for sale online.

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