#I’m happy with it but not that happy to tag Everyone In It
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Thank you so much for the tag! I’m happy that I made people happy.
Okay, so there are so many people I want to tag, but I’ll stick with just a few to avoid making this ridiculously long, so if we’ve interacted and I didn’t tag you, I’m very sorry; I promise you’ve made me happy, too!
@mostlyintact @generaltraitor @spencerreid1234 @marshymallows28 @gldnstrngs
Also, I know you’ve both already been tagged, but the fandom wouldn’t be the same without @i-may-be-an-emu and @youling-the-ghost, so I’m tagging you again; I hope that’s all right!
@animated-scribble @y0ur-f4vor1te-crypt1d @kartsstuffig @44-mr-midnight-44 @silver-eater @free-slug-cat @my-mom-named-me-duck @softenedsunbeams @ccosmicentity @starsofthestorm @jaime-in-chaos @ the person who sent me this (i cant remember your url so sorry man) @ UHM UHM I FORGOT URLS
#I hope everyone I tagged is okay with being tagged#let me know if not#also thank you so much for tagging me!#I actually got tagged twice and so I’m just reblogging the first one#I hope that’s the right course of action here#I’m so happy that I made someone happy with my posts!#tag game
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▗▬̸̎͞/̄͆̅ ̎ ̎̿͞͞͞͞͞͞͞͞ι̚━─ ⠀ NYCTOPHILLIAC ⠀ ⠀ 𑄼ల۫ thanos / reader
getting caught up in thanos’s web was a mistake, especially when it interfered with your sleep.
𓂂 ͜ᩘ ̵̼͓̥͒̾͘𑣿 ⠀ TAGS unconsensual voyuerism (thanos & reader have sexual relations in her bed while everyone is asleep. even though they are asleep, i still put this warning because i know some people can get uncomfortable). ooc thanos (first time writing for him). oral sex (fem. receiving). porn no plot. mentions of past sexual relations. fingering. dirty talk. unrealistic expectations of quiet sex(?). overuse of pet names (senorita, mama, etc.) etc.
𓂂 ͜ᩘ ̵̼͓̥͒̾͘𑣿 ⠀ NOTES please heed the warning above as i would hate to make anyone uncomfortable while reading this fic. with that said please enjoy and i apologize for any grammar mistakes or typos.
Despite different games being assigned each day, it all felt the same — as if you had just stepped inside this odd room, surrounded by strangers that held far too many similarities with you. You couldn’t count the amount of times you flinched or teared up as you watched and heard bullets tear people apart, how their strangled cries escaped in a last ditch effort to somehow convince the ruthless guards to spare them. You nearly screamed yourself when blood hit your cheek, tainting the already sweaty area — which you gingerly cleaned up the moment you got time to.
You somehow survived, in just the nick of time too. You wondered if you had any right to be happy for your victory, or you should be remorseful for all the lives lost today. You pondered it for a complete moment before deciding doing so was useless, and not impertinent to your current situation.
Getting out with enough money was of the upmost importance, nothing more and nothing less.
Which is why you were quick to settle into bed the moment the opportunity arose, slipping out of your socks and jacket, pulling the blanket up over yourself, and shutting your eyes. The world around you seemed to cease — aside from the old man’s snoring beside you — your body melting into the mattress. Sleep was the only comfort you could afford to cling to in this situation, anything else was an unnecessary distraction.
Including the one that stood infront of you, taking form as a purple-haired devil.
You never intended to get entangled with any of the other contestants. You could smile and cheer together, but it wasn’t a secret how quickly that relationship could turn sour. Mixing any type of deeper attachments just seemed like a bad idea.
But you fucked up horribly, one thing leading to another, with you in the arms of a man named Thanos, who said just the right words at the time.
You promised yourself that one time was it, you wouldn’t slip up again. You couldn’t afford to slip up anyway.
“Thanos.. go away.” You murmured, courteous of the other contestants around you. You wondered if the two of you were the only ones awake.
Through the dimmed room you could spot Thanos tilting his head, elbow pressing against your bed as he leaned closer.
“C’mon don’t be like that.. just checking on you.”
You rolled your eyes, growing more frustrated by the minute. You desperately wanted sleep- actually, you needed it. You refused to suffer the next morning, especially since your life was literally on the line. You adjusted your pillow, basically staring daggers into the man.
“I’m fine, now, go to your own bed—“
“And.. I’m also cold.”
You blinked rapidly, nearly slapping that stupid smile right off his face. You decided to turn your back to him, ignoring that soft sound of disapproval he released.
“Wear your jacket or something.. hell— steal your friend’s blanket. Just let me sleep.”
You chose to ignore the second sound he released, which seemed to be an unusually pitiful whine, mixed with an obnoxious groan. You wanted to tell him off for his volume, but decided not to— trying to seem as stern as possible so he could finally leave you alone.
But Thanos wasn’t the type to let up, something you quickly learned the moment you met him. Seeing as his fingers began to graze your blanket, rising closer just so his lips were hovering over your ear.
“But you’re right here.. can’t we share some warmth until morning? You wouldn’t want me to freeze, right?”
Thanos’s words were tempting, as usual. Whether you liked to admit it or not, he knew just what to say. Which is why you called him a devil, a sickening demon with that silver tongue.
You bit the inside of your cheek, desperately trying to fight mind over matter. Not only was this bad for your sleep, you were also at risk for breaking some unknown rule. And if you got shot over cuddling, you would definitely haunt this place like a vengeful spirit.
But in the end you gave in, the reason fleeting at the moment. You could only focus on the fact he would hopefully shut up when he got what he wanted. So, wordlessly, you brought up the blanket behind you; hearing his small giddy voice as he climbed in with you.
At least the man was nice enough to allow most of the blanket to cover you, the rest of your exposed self covered by his larger frame. Thanos made quick work of wrapping his arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him as his face found your neck.
“You have to leave before morning.”
Whether acknowledging you or not, the man just let out a hum, lips treading across your warm skin in the process. With a shiver you attempted to focus on sleep, admitting to yourself that the extra warmth was comforting. It also allowed you to truly relax, knowing your back was covered— literally.
Your hand found the back of his, fingers spreading along it as your eyes settled shut. You felt your self slipping in slowly, body growing heavier as that relaxation began to reach its peak.
Only to tumble down the moment you felt a thumb play at the waistband of your pants.
“Thanos..”
“Hm?”
You slowly turned your head, tight-lipped and squinting at him through the darkness. “Don’t fucking hm, me— what are you doing?”
The shit-eating grin that developed was telling, his thumb now slithering under your shirt and rubbing small circles into your skin.
“Not a thing.. yet.”
“We’re supposed to be sleeping!”
The man was quick to raise his free hand, placing a taunting finger to his lips. “Don’t wake the others Señorita, that’ll be just plain rude.” The circles on your skin continued, Thanos closer as his lips brushed against your own yet didn’t fully touch.
“This will help you sleep better. Erasing alll your worries in the blink of an eye.” He breathed, eyes flicking low as if attempting to see beneath the blanket. Instead his hand did the seeing for him, fingers breaching your pants and underwear; tips stroking your soft cunt. He couldn’t help the little twitch of a smile the moment he felt you release a strangled breath, using two long fingers to spread you open to his hand.
And when your lips parted to speak, his own covered them; a gentle kiss that caused your mind to grow dizzy. You couldn’t help your legs spreading, hand wrapping around Thanos’s wrist the moment you felt him at your clit. He rolled his thumb so perfectly, applying delicious pressure to the little bud that caused you to see stars.
The moment you needed to breathe you regretted leaving his lips, seeing as you struggled to keep your voice down. He wasn’t even touching you much yet here you were, panting and releasing the softest moan. With a quick raise of your hand, you covered your mouth— teeth biting into the flesh the moment you felt a finger slowly sink into your wetness.
“Wish I could see..” The soft comment made you groan softly, hips rising the moment he began to piston his finger. Within moments a second was joining, scissoring you open and plunging deeper then your own fingers could. Your eyebrows knitted close, the pain of your bite washing away with each thrust of his digits.
“Thanos.. please..”
“Oh no.. keep your voice to yourself— I wouldn’t want anyone else to hear how pretty you sound.”
As usual his words held such a teasing tone, face moving back to your neck to kiss and bite gently. Even with his small request the man wasn’t making the situation any easier, especially when his thumb moved right back to your sensitive clit; rubbing those same dizzy inducing circles.
You felt way too good right now, your body practically shaking with how much you struggled to keep in. The thought of anyone waking up right now with you in this state — under the mercy of a certain purple-haired, tattooed rapper — was a thought you couldn’t even imagine without your heart pounding with anxiety.
The best thing to do would be to push him off before things progressed. You hadn’t a clue how far he wanted to take this, nor did you think it would end in time for the lights to cut on. And Thanos wasn’t a creep, he would listen to you the moment you expressed actual discomfort from the situation. But you weren’t, that pain you felt all day, that anguish; did truly wash away in seconds just from the flick of his fingers.
The thrusts against your velvety, soaked walls were perfect— your eyes rolling to find your skull the moment the ferocity increased. A metallic taste invaded your mouth from how bad you were biting yourself, but you didn’t care; it was a concern for morning [Name], not horny [Name] who was currently being cared for by the hottest contestant in this god forsaken place.
“Oh, all this clenching— you’re close aren’t you? Can barely get my fingers out.”
The smile in his speech was obvious, breath fanning against your skin as he urged you more and more; curling his fingers just right to hear your muffled sounds peak into a small squeal.
Your nails dragged across his tattooed hand, feeling it flex with each movement of his fingers. Your mind was growing cloudy, barely being able to register the words that were being pressed right against your ear.
“How about I get a taste, huh? Wanna come all in my mouth, mama.. it’ll be such an easy clean up.”
Before you could even think to speak Thanos was pulling his hand out from within you. You had little time to protest when you felt him grabbing your blanket, pulling it over his body as he crawled down your own. Your eyes slowly widened, realizing his words and actions; a new sheen of sweat finding your skin. Your nerves were on fine at this point, inner mind screaming to tell him to do anything else but that.
However, the moment you felt him pulling down your pants and his lips finding your pretty cunt, all hope was lost. The back of your head quickly found your pillow, hand going right back to your mouth to bite down even harsher than before. His tongue exited his mouth in a long stride, gliding across your wet center, and parting you easily.
Thanos created similar ministrations with the tip of his tongue like his thumb, circling your bud and slowly pulling it between his lips. There, he began to suck, the sound noisy but muffled by your blankets and other’s snoring.
Muffled gasps pushed against your skin, hips rising and legs closing around his head; bringing him even closer to you. The peak that was steadily approached seemed to pick up speed far too quickly, your mind turning to mush.
No more were you number so-so, victim to madmen and their sick games. No, you were simply [Name], moaning wantonly with little care for the environment around you.
Your other hand slithered under the blanket, finding his hair and tugging the soft tresses; feeling them stick between the gaps of your fingers. Shamelessly you rubbed against his face, desperate for that sweet release. Your pussy convulsed with each struggled breath you took, stars impeding your vision as you got closer and closer.
You felt it before you heard it, Thanos’s sweet urges right into your pussy. His wet words of make me a mess, pretty girl— don’t hold back on me now, causing you to tip over the line.
His mouth latched to you, drinking up your release as if you tasted better than any drug within his cross. It didn’t help he was practically praising your taste, a sloppy groan being delivered right into your pussy. Gingerly, Thanos licked you clean, assuring not a single drop was left.
Only when the man was fully satisfied did he let up, climbing up from the blanket and popping his head out to look down at you.
“See, it helped— you can barely keep your eyes open right now.”
You released a soft breath, a mix of a chuckle and a sigh as you stared up at the man. “You gonna let me sleep now?” You spoke softly, watching his wet lips curl into a gentle smile.
“Of course. Good night, [Name].”
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So I binge watched Squid Game season 2 a couple days ago and the brainrot is back in full force for The Recruiter and The Front Man. So here’s some more Squid Game prompts! Warning: These prompts are centered around Season 2 and contain spoilers! Pls tag me if you’re inspired by any of these and I’d love to read it! 🔴🔺🟥
1. You knew The Recruiter when he was younger, back before he worked in the games and was removing and burning up the bodies of countless people. He was like the game players and homeless people at one point in his life, having hit rock bottom. His actions in the park are an expression of self-hatred and an attempt to set himself apart from them. The Recruiter has nothing but contempt to people who choose the lottery and is more than happy to stomp the bread just to spite them, but he happens to at least approve the people who pick the bread.
“These things aren’t human. They’re just trash, uterrly useless in this world.” He kept telling himself that and worked hard for a few years. Then they gave him a gun. It felt pretty good. Like his existence was acknowledged for the first time in his life. He doesn’t know which year it was but one day he was about to shoot a man who had lost a game. The guy seemed familiar. His dad. His dad was suddenly standing right in front of him. He was in tears, desperately begging him to spare his life. He shot him right in the middle of his forehead, and realized, “Ah. I’m cut out for this job.”
He had absolutely no qualms about shooting his own father dead. He even admits that when he killed his father in the games, he realized he was totally the type for his job, mentioning no remorse or guilt. But what if him shooting his own father proved his loyalty to the people he worked for and so they rewarded him by making him a recruiter and letting him keep you, the love of his life or object of obsession from his past life in the outside world. Asking the Host and his higher ups for a companion is just one thing, but it’s a big thing, and he’s scared to death that he will never see you again once he asks. Most of the staff are ruthless killers motivated by profit, but out of all of them, The Recruiter is one of the few who seems genuinely psychopathic, his businesslike attitude masking a vicious sadist who revels in humiliation, torture, and murder.
Still, it’s nothing short of a miracle in his mind that he’s allowed to have you. You’re just living your life, but then you get kidnapped and brought to an undisclosed location and while the room you’re in is admittedly very nice, you’re terrified. Turns out your kidnapper is your childhood best friend or college sweetheart who you lost touch with years ago when he went into the games. To you, he ghosted you or went missing and you were never able to find him. His own family hadn’t heard from him and didn’t know where he was. He’d go so far to keep you that he’d fake your death. He spoils you rotten but he also punishes you if you misbehave or act out of line. Treats you like a princess, fucks you like a whore kind of thing. He doesn’t keep around those dog bone shaped gags and possibly even sex toys or buy you nice lingerie and jewelry for nothing. He doesn’t want to break you as you’re his favorite toy, but he’ll do what it takes to properly train you until you learn to accept your place as his lover. His amiable facade comes down and it turns out he's psychotic and it frightens you but a part of him gets off on your fear. You see yourself as a prisoner, but he insists it doesn’t have to be that way if you just relax and love him back and be a good girl. You loved him once, didn’t you? You were his only friend. The only woman he’s ever loved. How hard can it possibly be to love him again? He’s the only one who can protect you and love you now. Everyone else thinks you’re dead.
He’d go so far as to kill anyone who stands in his way of having you, even your significant other if you have one or your family and friends. The Recruiter absolutely enjoys what he does to his victims, especially during the Russian Roulette game. You have no one else to turn to for comfort or conversation besides him. A part of him hates it when you cry but the other part of him is turned on by your tears and the fear in your eyes. He doesn’t have a god complex, more like a death complex. He’s given himself over completely to his philosophy of death. He believes he’s Death incarnated into a man with how people’s lives are in his hands, and that includes yours. And aren’t there so many famous artworks of Death and His Maiden? Why shouldn’t he be able to keep you as his?
If he was your first ever sexual partner, he’d make for damn sure he’s the only one through silently and stealthily arranging for your other potential partners to die in tragic “accidents” or go missing with their bodies never found. Just like he’s dedicated himself to the games, he’s dedicated himself to proving he’s worthy of you everyday by protecting you and giving you everything you ask for - except real freedom, of course. He can only give you semblances of freedom by allowing you outside under heavy guard watch or his watch. You can’t go anywhere alone anymore. You can’t have a cell phone that connects to the internet (or if you are allowed the internet, you’re only given access to certain websites while the rest are blocked) or any phone numbers except his. He’s practically isolated you.
2. Going off the idea of what if you knew The Recruiter back when he was younger and working in the games: Alongside him, you’re also a pink guard. You’re one of, if not the only female guard. The Recruiter is the first to find out that you’re a woman despite the mask covering your face, the voice modulator, and the suit covering your body. You spend a lot of time together when you have to shoot the eliminated players and then remove and burn the bodies. You use a separate channel on your walkie-talkies to have private conversations while you’re on a job during the games or to talk from your separate dorms after the day’s work is done. When other male guards try to attack or sexually assault you in your room for getting in the way of their illegal organ harvesting side hustle due to you shooting the bodies in the heart or head to ensure the players die quickly and make the organs unusable, he comes to your rescue when he hears the struggle over the walkie when you manage to press the button. He practically breaks your door down and takes the guards out with his bare hands or a random object in your room. He’s so strong and skilled he doesn’t even need to use a gun or a knife (in the show he subdued two men just with his briefcase). You watch as he subdues both guards, knocking them out with ease. He would’ve loved to kill them in that moment, but he doesn’t have the right to do that. He can only report the incident to the Captain/In-Ho. Pink guards cannot kill other pink guards. They’re only permitted to kill players. Only the Captain can kill pink guards.
After interrogating them and reviewing the security footage, In-ho kills the guards who attacked you and puts an end to the organ harvesting for that year by killing all of the guards operating it. Whether they sell off organs from the dead or devour them, he doesn’t give a damn. However, the most crucial element of this place is equality. Everyone is equal in these games, including guards. Players compete in a fair game under the same conditions. Guards work under the same conditions. They are to follow the instructions they are given. There is a principle to these games. And those guards that attacked you for being a woman and doing your job and the guards operating the organ harvesting side hustle broke that principle.
Later, after work is done for the day and guards are ordered to return to their rooms, The Recruiter sneaks into yours so that the two of you can have sex. When he saw you getting attacked, he wanted more than anything to rush to your side and comfort you and hold your hand and ride his adrenaline-filled high by having sex with you after subduing the guards, but duty called so he couldn’t. When In-ho is overlooking the security cameras and notices The Recruiter in your room instead of his own with both of your masks off, locked in a heavy make out session while he has you lifted in his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms wrapped around his neck, your fingers tangling in and pulling his hair while his hands cup under your thighs to hold you up against the wall, your pink jumpsuits half way unzipped, he changes the cameras to play back earlier footage of both you and him so that it looks like you’re alone in your rooms so his higher ups won’t suspect anything while you inevitably do whatever it is you want to do. The Recruiter and you have proven your loyalty. You both deserve a reward. As long as you’re both back in your own rooms by morning call, he doesn’t care.
After that, The Recruiter shoots his own father dead after he fails a game. You and he work your way up to becoming the recruiters you are now, possibly even posing as a friendly married couple to get vulnerable people to trust you more (even better if you’re actually married as it makes the ruse more convincing). You do love each other in your own way, but you also are well aware that love makes people incredibly easy to manipulate and you use that to your advantage in your line of work. Together you prey on people who are hanging by a thread and are the best performing recruiters the games have ever had. In the privacy of your home, you listen to opera music, share drinks, and get down to all kinds of kinky shit when you find yourselves in the mood. You take turns when it comes to who’s dominant and who’s submissive, and your sex games often include bondage, roleplay, pain, and blood. And sometimes the blood isn’t even yours or his. When people get nosy for their too damn good, you and/or he have to take care of that.
3. Underneath the smiling facade, The Recruiter is little more than a small fry. When Gi-hun repeatedly calls him a lapdog and considers him nothing compared to whoever he works for, it gets under his skin, although he doesn't have a complete breakdown over it. Getting reminded of this repeatedly is part of why The Recruiter eventually shoots himself in the chin. But let’s pretend The Recruiter doesn’t commit suicide. Instead of being strictly dominant or strictly submissive, this man is a switch. While he loves to be in control sometimes and use your body however he wants, there’s also times when it’s you who’s the dominant one. You dress up and behave as a dominatrix while you put a mask over his face to blindfold him, gag him with the bone shaped gags and tie him up, doing to him whatever you want and calling him your dog. Your good boy. He runs, barks, wags his tail, does whatever you, his mistress, says and you reward him with praise, treats, etc. You do the same thing when it’s his turn to be the master and for you to be his good girl, his bitch. This man would probably be into puppy play whether it’s you who’s the puppy or him. And yeah that would probably include either of you being locked in a human sized cage or an actual dog kennel as punishment for whenever you misbehave. You’d take turns between who’s holding the leash and who’s on it on all fours, etc. The sex acts you do together, this dominatrix and roleplay arrangement you have, it’s like therapy for him in a way. A way for him to reclaim being called a dog when he was young and poor and turning it into something good. Even if it’s dehumanizing at times. The humiliation and the sadism is part of what turns you both on. Of course you’d have a safe word, aftercare, and all of that. But let’s be real: He’s just as skilled as you are at taking orders, deepthroating objects, and being penetrated.
4. Inspired by the film “The Odds”: You join an underground game of pain endurance, hoping to win the cash prize of one billion won. But it’s not the traditional squid games where you’re competing with other players in person. This is something different. This is the squid games before the squid games became what it is today. Instead, you’re isolated in a windowless room with little more than a table, a couple of chairs, a cot to sleep in and a toilet to shit in. It’s like a prison almost. Whenever you’re given a shower, if ever, you’re heavily sedated so you don’t lash out against the workers bathing you. The Recruiter is one of many who are assigned to players to keep them company, explain the rules of each game, and oversee their progress. Each player has their own recruiter assigned to them and The Recruiter we’re familiar with in the show is the one assigned to you. You have nobody else but him to keep you company. You don’t ever see anyone, don’t ever hear anyone except for him. He looks awfully familiar and you have a strong feeling you’ve met him before, that you know him from somewhere. Throughout the course of the week that you’re there, you’re determined to figure out how you know him. In the meantime, you flirt with each other, playfully talk about getting married and having a house and kids when you get out.
But at some point during the course of the games, the playfulness erodes and The Recruiter turns dead serious, revealing that he’s so in love with you that it’s like an unhinged obsession. Maybe you choosing to come here was in actuality you being lured into a trap, all a part of his elaborate plan to finally get you right where he wants you to fulfill his sick and twisted romantic and sexual fantasies. Maybe before that, he paid sex workers and strangers who looked like you to sleep with him, just to keep him satiated so he wouldn’t snap and kidnap you before the time was right. He might’ve gone so far as to call them by your name and become really scary real fast if they tried to correct him. The things he did to those women might’ve been so bad that they were unspeakable. But he paid good hush money to keep them quiet. And if that didn’t work, a bullet always did. But sleeping with all those women could never live up to the real thing. Nobody watching you now would be able to hear you nor would they care if he had sex with you in between games. He’s done it before with desperate female players who wanted to stay alive a little longer. And if they performed sexual favors for him as he asked - more like ordered them to do - Who is he to deny pretty women an extra five minutes of being allowed to breathe before he pulls the trigger? A deal is a deal and he’s a businessman.
He’s a man of do the wrong thing, yield rewards. To him, he’d feel like he’s entitled to your love and your body after all he went through in his life to get to this point. He’s worked his way up from a nobody who just disposed of and burned bodies, then they gave him a gun, then he became a recruiter. One of the best if not the best in the company. He’d kill for you. Even if you don’t ask him to. Even if you plead with him not to do anything and let it go. But he’s also so unhinged he might even hurt or kill you if you fail to live up to his deluded fantasies. If he does hurt you, he’d do the classic, “Look what you made me do! I didn’t want to have to do that. I didn’t want to hurt you but you gave me no choice so this is all your fault and not mine,” shtick.
You soon discover the game's rigged, and your real opponent is The Recruiter - a sadistic psychopath, who works for the Host and the organizers of the game and knows everything about you. He knows why you’re here and about your child, bringing them up to keep you motivated to continue before you ever mention them to him. He’s just one of many of a network of people ranging from VIPs to guards who are part of this game. The way you see it, you have three choices: Provoke The Recruiter into killing you if you don’t die from the games before then, give into The Recruiter’s sexual advances to survive without playing all of the games and join him, becoming his lover/wife and possibly a Recruiter yourself, or survive through all of the games and kill The Recruiter. He keeps saying you can leave at any point but you realize over time that this is a lie and if you try to leave, you’ll be shot dead either by him or one of the guards.
(Below is some dialogue from the movie with some minor changes to showcase how Recruiter coded this scenario is.)
~
“So, yes, it is necessary to keep the location a secret due to the legal technicalities of the game. You know the rules, right?”
“Yup, but you can tell me again, Mr...”
“No names. It works better for me if we keep things less personal, you know?”
“Right. Kind of like a manager-employee relationship. I get it.”
“If you like. Anyway, the game, there are 19 other players at 19 other locations just like this.”
“In this city?”
“All over the country. There's a clearing house that receives and broadcasts the signal to select clientele. The same clearing house acts as a broker for all wages concerning the game.” He puts in his earpiece and presses a button. “Receiving end, online? Okay. Yeah, just a couple minutes, we'll get started.” He sits across from you at the table.
“Have you done this a lot?”
“A few times, yeah. There are five preliminary rounds followed by the finalist round. If you leave at any point during the preliminary rounds, you will leave with zero prize money.”
“I won't quit.”
“All players who get to the finalist round are committed to the game and may not leave.”
“I said I won't quit.”
“Okay. Now, the finalists will continue to play until there's only one player left. That winner will receive the money.”
“Have you ever hosted a winner?”
“Let's not worry about that. You just stay focused.”
“It's weird that people would bet on something like this.”
“Do you know any real gamblers? Real gamblers will make odds on anything.”
“And the prize money, it's a lot?”
“Some people think so.”
“I heard it was a billion won.”
“Where'd you hear that?”
“Same place I heard about the game.”
“Hm. That's correct, and the funds will be deposited in the winner's account.”
“They must pay you a lot. That's why you're here, right?”
“I'm here for the same reason as you.”
“I doubt that.”
“Now it's almost time.” He takes a candle out of his briefcase and sets it on the table.
“I thought there was gonna be a gun.”
“Not yet.”
“Have I met you before?”
He listens to his device. “Congratulations, your drug test came back clean.”
“Of course it did.”
“I'm sorry, we have to check. Some players come in high, performance enhancing drugs, so to speak.”
“Well, drugs are where you go when you can't stand the pain anymore.”
“Where do you go, if you don't have drugs?”
“I guess we'll find out.”
He listens to his device. “Hm. Yes? We're good. You're good? Okay, standing by.”
“I know that they can see us, but can they...”
“Hear us? No. Say what you want. Your secrets are safe with me.”
“I don't have any secrets.”
“Everyone has secrets.”
“No, all my shit's pretty much out in the open.”
“All the shit you know about.”
“I think I know my shit pretty well.”
“This game has a way of illuminating a person.” He lights the candle.
“Oh, that's nice. You gonna put on some mood music? I'll take the Chardonnay.”
“So here's what's gonna happen, round one, on my signal, you, along with 19 other players, will hold your hand over the candle and keep it there. When three people have removed their hand, the round is over. Those players are out of the game. Everyone else will advance to the next round. Understand? Hello?”
“Yeah, I just... I heard it was different.”
“Used to be. They like to change things up, keep it exciting. You don't have to do this. It's still not too late to leave.”
“I've got nowhere else to be.”
“How about a home?”
“I messed that up.”
“You must have family somewhere. Everyone has family.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“Kids?”
“No.”
“But if you did, how would you feel if someone took him or her away from you?”
“I guess I wouldn't like it.”
“And how would you feel knowing that he or she should've been taken away from you...that she...he, was better off...and that maybe now the only thing to do is to win a big pile of money so that he or she could have the kind of life that he or she deserves?”
“Hm. I don't think I'd ever risk my life over a pile of money.”
“Well, that's all mine's good for at this point.”
“Hey, listen. Look at me. We're in this together, you and me. I'm rooting for you, you understand? So just settle in. We'll do this. Word of advice, this is as much a mental game as anything else, so just keep that in mind if you really want to see this through to the end.”
“I'm gonna hear the words ‘you win’, or I'm not gonna hear anything at all.”
“That's it. Visualize success, that's good.”
“You say that to all your players?”
“Just the ones that seem to need it.”
“Have you ever played, from my side?”
“Let's get through round one, then we'll talk. We're about to begin. Last chance before the pain starts.”
“The pain started a long time ago.”
~
Round One
You hold your hand over the candle, while The Recruiter encourages you the whole time.
“That's it. Keep going. You can do this. Come on. Just breathe. Focus on breathing. You can do this. Come on. Just breathe. Okay, focus on breathing. Focus on breathing. Another player's out. Just one more player. Just one more player has to quit. Number three's out! You made it. You did it. Let me see. Come on.” He takes out a first aid kit from his briefcase and treats your wound. “So, we made a deal, and no, I haven't played the game from your side of the table.”
“How many?”
“How many what?”
“How many times have you done this?”
“14.”
“And how many of those players won?”
“You don't want to know.” A long pause before he finally answers, “None of them. Most players quit before the final round.”
“But some of them made it.”
“I've seen two men and three women blow their brains out.”
“You're just a little bad luck charm, aren't you? Did you ask the other players why they did it?”
“Same reason as you, the money.”
“Same reason as everyone I'm playing against now?”
“I wouldn't worry about the other players.”
“I just want to know who my competition is.”
“Most games, you're competing against someone, right? But in this game, you can't affect the other players. Can they make you leave this room? Who can?”
“You could try.”
“Okay, take me out. Who does that leave? That's right, you. And that's what they're betting on, how much you can take.”
“I'll take whatever you throw at me.”
“It won't be me throwing it at you.”
“So there is someone else here.”
“I'm a facilitator. The challenges for each round, they've been chosen by the organizers.”
“So it's not you. You're just doing their dirty work for them.”
“I didn't make you come here. I didn't make you sit there. I didn't force you to put your hand over a candle. You think I enjoy watching you do this? You think I like watching people hurt themselves? Man. Things I've seen, you don't forget it, you know?”
“Then why do you keep doing it?”
“You've never done something you knew wasn't good for you? Sit down. We're on the same side. That's the thing about this game, it...” He’s interrupted by information coming through his earpiece. “Round two, ready.”
“The thing about this game?”
“What?”
“You were just about to say ‘the thing about this game.’”
“The thing about this game is that it changes you.”
“Good?”
“I don't know how good it's been for me.”
“Maybe you've been playing from the wrong side of the table. Are you sure we haven't met before?”
“It's time.”
~
Round Two
“Round two. Players will put their bare right foot inside the box. The three that remove their feet lose. The rest move onto the next round.”
“And there's something in the box?”
“Yes.”
“And you don't know what it is?”
“No.”
Something from inside the box moves and makes a noise, causing you to jump.
“Hey, hey. It's okay.”
“What's in there?”
“I don't know.”
“That's bullshit.”
“They don't tell us.”
“You said that you have done this before.”
“It's different every time. It's probably not as bad as you think.”
“Fuck it, I'm out of here.”
“Now wait. What about your child?”
“Why do you care? You get paid anyway, I assume.”
He removes his ear piece so the organizers won’t hear what he says to you next. “Are you afraid of rats?”
“What?”
“Are you afraid of rats?” He puts his earpiece back in. “You need to decide, soon. One player just dropped out. That just leaves two for elimination.”
“This is insane.” You remove your shoe and sock. “So it's just in there waiting for me to put my foot in?”
“There's a separation barrier. When I get the signal, I remove it.”
“How fun for you.”
“I'm right here with you.”
“That's a comfort.”
“No, I mean it, okay? I'll help you.”
“You better.”
“It's almost time.”
“I must be crazy.”
You put your foot in the box.
“You got this.”
“I got this.”
“I mean, nothing's gonna happen. Oh, god, it's moving. It keeps moving.”
“Breathe. Mm-hm.”
“It's touching me, it's touching me. It's on me. It's off, it's off, it's off. Oh, fuck!”
“Think something else, okay? Don't think about this.”
“Oh, God, ow, ow, ow! It's back on me.”
“Think of something else. Okay, think of something else, don't think about this.”
“Oh, shit. I can't do this.”
“You can, yes, you can.”
“Ow, it's biting me! It's biting me.”
“No, it's not... One player's out, okay? That just leaves one more left.”
“Ow! Ow, it's eating me!”
“Look at me, look at me! I'm right here with you. Do it for me. Say it. Say it!”
“Do it for you. Do it for you.”
“Good. Again.”
“Do it for you.”
“Good. Again.”
“Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you.”
“That's it! It's over. It's over.”
You remove your bleeding foot from the box and cry in The Recruiter’s arms as he holds you.
~
He’s wrapping your foot with fresh white gauze. “Don't look. Okay.” He kisses your bandaged foot. “I kissed your boo-boo.”
You have some time to kill while you and he wait for the next game. He gives you a bottle of water. You need to stay hydrated. Lots of water.
“Gonna figure out where I know you from.”
“Well, good luck. Okay, let's say you don't quit.”
“I won't.”
“Right, you won't. Let's say you make it. You've already told me what you're gonna do for your child. What are you gonna do for you? If you really think you're gonna make it through, you should have a plan.”
“Yeah, well, I'm not really big on plans.”
“No, seriously, instead of giving your child the money, why don't you take them somewhere instead? Find a nice quiet place, bring along their daddy.”
“You had me going till you mentioned that asshole.”
“Okay, not him, a nice guy.”
“Why is it that everyone thinks that if a woman has problems, a man is somehow the answer?”
“You don't believe in love?”
“Maybe some people just aren't meant for it. Maybe they're just not built...for it.”
“Maybe some people haven't met the right guy.”
“And that's you? From bad luck charm to Mr. Right?”
“You could do worse.”
“Okay. All right. So say it is you, Prince Charming, man of my dreams, we're living together.”
“Mm-hm, married.”
“Really?”
“I don't do that cohabitation shit. You either commit or you get out.”
“And that's you? Mr. Commitment?”
“Damn straight.”
“So, is this a proposal?”
“I guess it is.”
“Well, either it is or it isn't.”
“It is.”
“Sweep me up my feet, why don't you?”
“You don't find this place romantic? So, we're in our home...”
“I didn't say yes.”
“You playing hard to get?”
“No. Yes. Maybe. A little. I mean, come on, we just started dating. How do I know you're not just marrying me for my money?”
“What if I don't need your money? What if I already have money?”
“Great, then let's get outta here. I don't have to do this anymore.”
“Well, then again, maybe I don't have that much money.”
“Okay, so, no money. Why should I say yes?”
“Because, deep down inside, you believe in love too. So, what's it gonna be?”
“How about we get through the next round, then I'll tell you.”
“You are playing hard to get. Ready for round three.”
~
Round Three
“What the fuck is it? Or should I ask what goes in it?”
“Your other foot. We go till three players drop out. You can do this.”
“Have you ever done this one before?”
“No. This is new territory for me. They're telling me we need to get ready.”
“Should I sit or stand?”
“Whatever you prefer. We're ready.”
“I don't suppose anybody's dropped out yet. Just wait.”
“Okay. Round three, turn one. I'm sorry.”
“That feels as bad as it looks.”
“All players are still in. Second turn. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Do it for me, remember?”
“Wait, wait for me. Wait.”
“Turn number three.”
You pass out from the pain. You wake up to his voice.
“Player three has quit.”
~
He wraps up your other foot. “There. All better.”
“You’re pretty good at that.”
“One of my many talents.”
“Nine players are out by my count.”
“You're knocking them down. So...what about the answer now?”
“The answer to what?”
“Are we gonna do it, when all this is over? Are we gonna tie the knot?”
“Sure.”
“Well, then. Well, then how about a kiss for your fiancé?”
He kisses you. While he does, he slips a pill into your hand. “It's for the pain. Don't let them see,” he whispers into your ear. “Well, passed the halfway point.”
“Yeah, after this, marriage should be easy.”
“Yeah. Maybe every couple should go through something like this.”
“It's a great story to tell the grandkids.”
“Grandkids? We haven't even gone on the honeymoon.”
“Please, honeymoon.”
“Why not? Must be somewhere you want to go. Vegas, Paris, Costa Rica?”
“Not really.”
“Come on, nothing? Nothing interests you? And afterwards, when we get back to our apartment in the city...”
“In our house in the country.”
“Country's boring.”
“Can't have horses in the city.”
“Horses? More than one?”
“You can't have just one horse.”
“I'm not shoveling horse shit.”
“Fine, I want a divorce.”
“On what grounds?”
“Irreconcilable differences.”
“Okay, fine. A house in the country with horses.”
“Wow, what a pushover.”
“What can I say? I'm in love.”
You lay down on the ground with him, side by side, staring up at the ceiling.
His hands are behind his head. “You know, you can rest in that house in the woods.”
“Then I'd sleep for a week.”
“And after you wake up?”
“I don't know, maybe plant a garden.”
“What do you know about gardens?”
“As much as I know about anything else, I guess.”
“You think you could keep a bunch of plants alive?”
“What about you, mister? You're just gonna live off my money?”
He sits up. “There's lots of stuff I can do.” He gets up off the ground.
“I didn't mean anything by it.”
“I know what you meant.”
“Come on, I was just joking.”
“Sounded like an insult.”
“Why would I insult you? You're the only friend that I have.”
“That's true. Standing by.”
“God, can't they just give it a minute?”
“I know, like, what are they in a hurry for? They'll make their money.”
“Have you met them, the people running this?”
“A couple. They're not like what you think.”
“I think they're a bunch of weirdos who get off watching sick shit.”
“That's not it, at all. They're more like researchers of human behavior, and this is the ultimate laboratory.”
“Come on.”
“No, seriously, how do you think they have the money to fund an operation like this? They get to bet on human behavior every day, and win. Of course they'd be interested in a game like this.”
“We're just pawns to them. I doubt they even see us as people at all.”
“But it doesn't really matter what they think though, does it? And anyway, you should be grateful they've even given you this opportunity. If you weren't here, where would you be?” He sits on the table and slides his body over to you. “On the street, in a crack house sucking dick for a fix until your looks rot away and your teeth fall out? Where would your child be? In a group home getting daily beat downs from all the other toss aways with fuck-ups for parents. You know, you should be thanking the people who created this game, and you should be thanking me. This is the best opportunity for someone who screwed up all their other options.”
“Well, I'll be sure to send them thank you notes later.”
He suddenly smiles. “Look at that, our first fight. Come on, I was just playing. Let's get back to our house.”
“Maybe later.”
“Time’s up.”
~
Round Four
“How long can you hold your breath? It's a simple question, really. How long can you hold your breath?”
“I don't know.”
“Round four is easy. You just have to hold your breath.”
“I just have to hold my breath?”
“Yeah, well, that is while I'm holding your head underwater. You don't have a fear of drowning, do you? Hydrophobia, I think it's called. 'Cause if you did, this will be pretty tough.” He takes a bullet out of his pocket. “Bite on this. I'm kidding, just hold onto it. Jeez. Here's what's gonna happen, you're gonna face the tank, and when the time comes, I'm gonna hold your head under the water. You... You hold your arm out. If you want me to let you up, you just let go of the bullet. See? First three players to let go are out. Everyone else stays. You trust me, right? Well, you should, we're married.”
“I guess.”
“You guess? What do you mean you guess? You wouldn't marry somebody you don't trust, would you? Good. You know, it's good that you trust me 'cause that way you know that when it's time when everyone drops out, I won't just keep your head under the water. Oh. Looks like we have someone afraid of drowning. Our first dropout. You're not gonna drop out, right?”
“Right.”
“Because you want that house in the country, and you trust me, right?”
“Right.”
“Say it.”
“I trust you.”
“And you love me. Say it.”
“I love you.”
“Oh.” He tucks your hair behind your ear. “Whoops. Looks like we got another dropout. Okay, we got to get this thing going before we lose any more. Deep breaths. When the third player quits, I'll let you up. Get ready. On the count of three. One. Two. Three.”
While your head is underwater, you dissociate and experience flashbacks of your life before this, of your child. “I love you.” You hear their voice say. That’s the last thing you see before The Recruiter pulls you back up as you cough and move your wet hair out of your face.
“I thought you were gone! Jesus, why didn't you let go of the bullet?”
“I swallowed it. Only way to make sure that I didn't drop it.”
The Recruiter gives you a towel, admittedly impressed.
~
“You know, with a little effort you could be a very attractive woman.”
“What am I supposed to say to that?”
“Well, when someone compliments you, it's polite to thank 'em.”
“Thank you.”
“How many guys have you dated?”
“How's that any of your business?”
“Well, if we're gonna be married, it's something a husband should know. Come on.”
“Come on, what?”
“How many?”
“I don't know.”
“That many?”
“Do you want to know how many I've dated, or how many I've fucked? Because I didn't keep count, but it was a lot. And sometimes I didn't even know their names.”
“Now why do I get the feeling that you're saying this just to hurt me?”
“You're sick in the head.”
“I bet you were a real looker. I bet the boys couldn't keep their hands off you. Hey, how old were you when you did it the first time? Sweet 16, 15? Yeah. You were an early bloomer.” He cups your breast and you instinctively slap him. He slaps you back, harder. “I'm sorry, but you should not have made me do that.”
“You know, you can't do whatever the fuck you want.”
“Come on, don't be like that. Let's get back to how it was before. And, you know, to tell you the truth, I've been wanting to do that for a while now.”
“You can't do whatever it is that you want.”
“Who are you kidding? Like you didn't want me to.”
“What?”
“Look, if you didn't want me to do that, why are you still here? You could've left at any time.”
“I’m here for the game, that's all.”
“Maybe this is part of it. You ever think about that?”
“No.”
“No? Well, of course it is. Why else would you be here?”
“For my child.”
“No!” He slams his hand on the table. “Don't give me that shit. No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We alone walk the path. The Buddha said that. He was a smart guy, everyone says so. You put yourself here. You decided to stay 'cause you know that we belong together.”
“I didn't ask for any of this.”
“Why else are you here? Look, you could've gone any time. There's the door. It's always been there. Go on. Go on if this is so wrong. Nobody's stopping you. You won't go, because you know you belong here. You deserve this. Your whole life has been a long, long path that's led you to me.” He grabs your face and forcefully kisses you while you sob. At that moment, a guard walks in with a long bag containing something for the next game, causing him to move away and break the kiss. “We're on a schedule. You might want to reconsider. This might be your last chance.”
“For what?”
“To make love as a whole person. Round five. Here's where you really start to leave some skin in the game, so to speak.” He opens the bag, revealing a red hot branding iron. “It's not that bad, really. The Yakuza, you know the Yakuza, right? Japanese mafia, they do this kind of thing all the time. When they've screwed up, they remove body parts. It’s how they apologize for... Oh, forget it. Just take my word for it, you're not the first, you won't be the last, unless you want to leave. You go through with this, you won't be the same. Some cultures would consider you heavily scarred. Personally, I think you'll be plenty serviceable, but, you know.... If you're afraid of the pain, I can give you another Oxy.”
You take the Oxy that he gave you out of your pocket and set it on the table. He quickly swipes it off the table and puts it in pocket so the organizers don’t see.
“Jesus! Suit yourself. After this round, you'll probably be a freak, probably have a limp, from your legs being burned so much. Who will want to fuck you then?”
“I’m sure as long as I have all my lady parts, any sick fuck like you will.”
He pulls out protective gloves from the bag and puts them on. He takes hold of the branding rod.
“We're ready. Scoot your chair forward and remove your pants.”
You do as instructed, not letting yourself feel embarrassed for being sat half naked in front of him.
~
Round Five
Your ears ring from all the pain you’ve suffered so far. The skin on your thighs is burning still, your once flawless skin now marred with dark patches. Luckily the brand isn’t engraved with anything, but you know The Recruiter still gets a sick joy out of branding you. Like he thinks doing so means he owns you. Still, The Recruiter admits to you that he’s impressed with how many burns you’ve been able to endure so far. Some turns he held the branding iron to your skin longer than others, making the coloration in your skin vary. As the rounds progressed, you moved up from your thighs to one of your arms.
“Well, it's about time now. Turn seven. After this, your wrist will hurt so bad you won't be able to pull the trigger with your left hand. That career in trick shooting, it's out. Go on, get ready. You know, think about it, you don't really use your left arm much anyway. It's a right-handed world, you know?”
You’re whimpering and sobbing from the pain. Despite how difficult it is, you get up from your chair and walk away. You stand in front of the door.
“You're about to lose. You go through that door, all of this would've been for nothing. Is that what you want?”
You knock on the door.
“Wait! Three players have all just dropped out. You made it. Don't do it.”
“I have to pee.”
A masked guard opens the door and escorts you to the bathroom. He’s standing there the whole time, watching you impassively while you wash your hands and have an emotional breakdown in the corner. You stare at yourself in the mirror and gradually calm down, your resolve hardening as you think about your child. You hold a middle finger up in the mirror and pretend you’re giving it to The Recruiter.
~
When you make it back to the room, The Recruiter is sat in a chair, holding your discarded underwear in his hand. At some point during the game, it was too painful to wear them when the fabric brushed against the burns on your upper thighs.
“You mind? I thought I'd hold onto these. You know, something to remind me of our time together. What? Like you're not gonna use 'em. I’ll buy you much nicer lingerie to wear for me when this is over.” He tucks your underwear into his inner suit jacket pocket. “Well, sit if you're gonna. You know, I'll tell you something. I knew from the moment I saw you that you'd go the distance.”
“Is that right?”
“Mm-hm. Damaged people are tough. Fire, temper, steel, and all that.”
“You could tell I was damaged, huh.”
“Honey, you shone like a lighthouse. I wish I could've bet on you.” He gestures to the revolver on the table in between you. “Ever use one of those before? Don't worry, they're pretty user-friendly. You just point and click. If you don't hear the click, you're already dead.”
“Have you been a dick to all the players you've done this with, or am I just special?”
“I mean, they're all special, really, but if it makes you feel any better, you're my favorite.” He winks at you.
It’s finally clicked for you who The Recruiter is. “I knew I'd met you before.”
“No. I’d remember you.”
“I've known you my whole life. See, I watched you get drunk and smash my older sister’s head into the front door when you were dating her. I dropped out of high school when you got jealous of my friends because you thought I was sleeping with them. I lied for you every time the neighbors called the cops because of the noise. I know you, very well.”
“You know, now that you mention it, you do look familiar. You look like every smartass bitch I've ever known. All the teachers who thought they were so clever, thought that they could just push around a kid. All the bitches in school who thought they could just lead a guy on, tease him. Those women at the jobs where they just wiggle their tits and their ass to get ahead of some poor son of a bitch who does the real work, who carries his load and hers too. You look like every stupid cunt who thinks the world should bow down and worship her because she was born with a pussy made of solid gold.”
“Nice. You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“I don't know what happened. You know, we started out so good. How did we end up like this?”
“I guess it was fate.”
“You think?”
“I think...I think…you know what I think?”
“Tell me.”
“I think that you found the perfect job to indulge in your sick fucked up fantasies.”
He slaps you, causing you to fall out of your chair and back up against the wall.
“You're right.” He slaps you again. “I can do anything I want to right now. You know what's funny? That's what you want me to do. You screwed your life up so bad, you'll take any punishment I dish out ‘cause you know you deserve it.”
“Don't touch me again.”
“I'm not finished.”
“You asshole. You have sat there and watched me do everything that I've done and you think that you can hurt me?!” You slap yourself.
“Oh, that's cute.”
You slap yourself again.
“Stop it.”
You slap yourself again and again and again and again and again. “You fucker. You wouldn't have the guts to do what I've done.”
Angry, he slams the camera face down on the table so the people watching can’t see as he grabs the gun off the table and wraps his arm around your neck, holding you in place and cutting off your oxygen. “You think you're some kind of hard bitch now?! Is this what you want, hard bitch?! You want to play?! Let's play.” He presses the gun to your head and pulls the trigger three times, all blanks as the gun clicks.
“What? What?!”
“You…don't…scare me.” You choke out.
He lets you go, slams the gun back on the table, and puts the camera back up. “That round’s a freebie.” He sits back down and combs his hands through his hair. “If you're gonna stay... It's time.”
You pull the chair back up off the floor and sit back down. “Just out of curiosity, later, if I decide to quit, what's gonna stop me?”
“You take that chair. If you try to leave the game, either me or my compatriots will shoot you dead.”
You sit down and scoot your chair up towards the table, getting ready.
~
Final Round
“There are five players in the final round. This will consist of as many turns as necessary to eliminate four players. All players will pull the trigger simultaneously.” He puts the bullet into the chamber and spins it, then places the revolver back on the table. “Wait for my signal. Take the position, please.”
You put the gun to your head.
“We're ready.”
He nods at you.
You pull the trigger. Blank.
“Thought you'd be disappointed.”
He laughs. “No. I'm glad you make it through the first round. I hope you last a long time. I want to see you break. That'll be fun, to watch you break down completely before you die.” He removes the bullet from the chamber and sets the gun aside. “Just waiting on the report. And one player has been eliminated. Down to you and three others. Relax. We'll give them a minute to place their bets. Is it everything you hoped for?”
“This is the easiest thing I've done all day.”
“Maybe so, but there's another asshole out there somewhere who went through everything you went through and now he's just a pile of meat, brain splattered everywhere. See, you think your pain buys you something, that you earn some kinda big cosmic karma where now you’ll get what you deserve. I got news for you, pain is just pain. It doesn't get you anything.”
“You're wrong.”
“We'll see, when it's your brains that are on the floor. Oh. Time for turn two. You know, if you die here...” he puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it. “…nobody will know. We'll just scoop up your body, throw it to an incinerator. It'll be like you never existed. Nobody will know you were ever here.”
“But I'll be dead, so I won't care.” You put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.
“Bang!” He yells, making you jump and drop the gun on the table as he laughs. “Oh. Oh, another one down. They're dropping like flies. The odds are catching up with you.”
“Yeah?”
“How many times you think you can beat this?”
“29.”
“That's a very specific number.”
“Well, it's as far as I ever got.”
“When?”
“When I practiced.”
“You practiced?”
“Oh, yeah. Bought a real gun, put an empty shell in the chamber, spun it around. It almost never came up, and I did it a lot.”
“What's the lowest number of times you went before it did come up?”
“3.”
“Hm. Well, just so happens we're coming up on turn number three.” He puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it.
“What part do you enjoy the most, watching all the pain, or this?”
“Darling, I like it all. Take your position, please.”
You take the gun from his hand and put it to your head. You pull the trigger. Blank. You slide the gun across the table at him so fast it nearly falls into his lap as he gasps.
“Why don't you take a turn?”
“Because I don't have to play.”
“That's a shame. I bet if you had to play, you'd see things a little differently.”
“Lucky for me, then, that I don't.”
“Lucky for you. So?”
“So, what?”
“What was the outcome of that round?”
“Oh. Nothing.”
“What?”
“No players were eliminated.” He tells you slowly, like you’re an idiot. “It happens, more often than you might think. Something wrong?”
“No.”
“Really? Because you look like every other dumb prick I've seen blow their brains out.”
“You ever see anybody win?”
“Not a one.”
“Then I'm due. See, it's kinda like the lottery, somebody's got to win.”
“Except when they don’t.”
“Every time you spin that cylinder, there are five chances out of six that that bullet won't come up.”
“That's true. Let's see if now is one of those times.” He puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it. “I think I got you on this one. No, seriously, I feel good about this. Go on. Do you feel it? This is it. Am I right? I think I have you. Come on, take the position. Yeah. This is the one. You ready to say goodbye? Say it. Say goodbye. Say it.”
“Fuck you.”
“Pull the fucking trigger.”
You pull the trigger. Blank.
“No players eliminated.”
“You think they're enjoying this as much as you are?”
“Maybe, probably more. You know, you last as long as you say you will, you're gonna make someone a lot of money.”
“And that's why they're doing this?”
“Sure, I told you, gamblers will bet on anything. This is the best game in town.”
“So they're putting money down on me right now?”
“Even as we speak, they're betting against you. Some are betting for you. They're betting to see how many rounds this will go on, whether we'll have a winner or not.”
“Whether what?”
“Sure, maybe one of these times, all the players are eliminated. It's possible.”
“But the odds of that happening...”
“Are 50/50, either it happens or it doesn't.”
“But that's not how odds work.”
“It's time.” He spins the chamber and sets the gun back on the table. “Pick it up.”
You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank. You do it again. And again. And again. And again. You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger 12 times. All blanks. You set the gun down again. The Recruiter takes the bullet out of the chamber and sets the gun off to the side.
“No players were eliminated. You know what I think? I think your child would be better off with no money and you dead than rich with a crazy bitch like you.”
“No.”
“No?”
“They need me. They need to know what love really is. They need to know what it looks like. They need someone to help them understand that they deserves it.”
“And that someone is you? You just figured this out?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Well, then this wasn't a total waste.”
“Guess not.”
“You know what I'm gonna do after this?”
“Drown a puppy?”
“I think I'll go find your child. That one got you, didn't it?”
“Tell me, how have you made it this far without someone killing you?”
“Just my luck, I guess. Oh. There's been a change of plans. Seems the longevity of the current players has made the people upstairs change the rules around.” He adds a second bullet. “Now what do your odds look like?”
“It's not fair.”
“All the other players have the exact same challenge.”
“No one said...”
“Said what? You didn't practice for this? I'll be sure to tell your kid you said hi.” He puts the two bullets in the chamber and spins it. “Pick it up. Come on. You know the drill.”
You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.
“How many are left?”
“How many what?”
“Players. Someone has to have been eliminated.”
“Oh, yeah, that. One player was eliminated...as far as you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, as far as you know, it's just you and one other player.”
“I don't understand.”
“Then let me explain it to you. All that you know about this game is what I've been telling you, right? So, what if I told you I've been making up these last couple of rounds? What if I told you you've already won? Kinda funny if you think about it. What if you're the only one playing the game?”
“That wouldn't work. How would you bet on that?”
“Maybe the bet's not about who wins the game. Maybe you're the bet and it's simply how many times you'll keep pulling that trigger until you lose. Think about it. How would you know?” He suddenly laughs. “I'm kidding, yeah, of course. One of the other players really was eliminated. That leaves you and one more. And it's that time again.”
“So there really is another player?”
“I was just joking. Jeez, you got to learn how to lighten up. If the player could take their position please?”
“There really is another player?”
“Yes,” he says, highly annoyed.
“Prove it.”
“Hold on a sec. Assume the position!” He orders you.
“Prove that there's another player.”
“That's not how this game works. You got to trust me.”
You put the gun to your head.
“Ready.”
After staring at The Recruiter for a long moment, you remove the gun from your head, an idea coming to you.
“Pull. The. Trigger.”
You stare at him.
“Do it!”
You put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.
“I've been instructed that if you fail to comply again, you forfeit the game.”
You laugh. “Forfeit?”
He pulls up his shirt, showing the other gun tucked in his pants. “Then I'm instructed to shoot you.”
“Your bosses, money is just their excuse for playing. They don't really care about winning. They just want to see blood.”
“Now you're catching on. And they don't care whose it is. Oh. And we're upping the ante again.”
He adds a bullet.
“You forgot to say whether a player was eliminated.”
“Did I? What if I told you there wasn't really a game? What if I told you this whole thing was just made up? What if I told you it's been you and me this whole time?” He asks as he loads the bullets into the chamber.
“You're a liar.”
“Well, I guess we'll find out.” He spins the chamber. “It's time. Position. Please. Mm-hm. You got it.”
You grab the gun but don’t put it to your head. “Let me ask you this. What if there is just one bet? What if it's a 50/50 one?”
“That wouldn't make any sense.” He taps his temple to signal you to sssume the position.
You put the gun to your head. You don’t pull the trigger. “You know what? I think I have already won.” You point the gun at him. “I think the bet now is simply who walks out of this room.”
“That's not how this game is played.”
“You said it yourself, real gamblers will make odds on anything.”
“What if I told you that gun doesn't have any bullets?”
“I watched you.”
“Dummies, blanks. The real bet was to see how long you'd play before you quit.”
“Liar.”
“Okay. Okay, you're right. It wasn't fair, so just put the gun down, and we'll talk about changing the rules.”
“You're gonna change the rules?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Guys like you don't get to make the rules.” You pull back the hammer and stand up. “Do you know what your mistake was? You thought that the show was all about me, but you forgot that there are two animals in this cage.” You notice him sliding his hand back towards his gun. “You won't get it out before I pull the trigger.”
“If that chamber's empty, I got you.”
“I thought they were blanks.”
“You don't have the guts.”
You shoot. Blank. He flips the table up and makes a run for the door, failing to notice his gun has fallen out of his pocket as you keep shooting at him, firing off three live shots and then nothing but gun clicks. The door slides open to reveal a guard. You grab The Recruiter’s discarded gun off the ground and shoot at the the guards, killing some of them. You then play dead behind the upturned table. They let their guard down and when they get close, you shoot them dead too. The Recruiter comes from behind and tackles you to the ground and tries to strangle you to death. But you manage to get the upper hand.
Even though he could, he’s too proud to beg for your help as he lays on the ground, convulsing, dying. He just stares at you as he chokes on his own blood until he dies with his eyes wide open. A smile still on his face.
You pull his earpiece out of his ear and put it in your own, listening for the person on the other end to say something. And then you hear those two words:
“You win.”
5. What if The Recruiter faked his death like how Oh Il-nam did in season 1? He died with his eyes wide open and none of the other characters checked his pulse. This man is so unhinged and was always five steps ahead of the other characters, always knowing they were watching him and looking for him. He eluded them for two years. He got the jump on them and subdued two men with just his briefcase. So what if he had planned for every possible outcome during the Russian Roulette game too and had piping lined underneath his suit to spurt out fake blood at the right time and the bullet was a dummy or a blank? Squid game men love to fake their deaths. Gi-hun winning the Russian Roulette game and not giving into his mind games throws him into abject shock. That's the second time he loses his smug smile. Gi-hun throwing his words back in his face only makes it worse, to the point he's driven to suicide rather than admit Gi-hun is right. But what if his “suicide” was just a part of a contingency plan so he could lie low for a while and then eventually go back to recruiting players once Gi-hun wasn’t a problem anymore and it was deemed by the people he worked for that it was safe to do so?
After his fake death, he’s left alone in the room when the main characters leave. He gets up from the chair he was playing dead in, cleans himself up by changing his clothes and washing away the blood on his skin, and goes home to you, his wife, as if nothing happened. You’re kept in the dark about what he really does. (Or you’re in on it and help him get the bloodstains out of his clothes, though you work behind the scenes and use your computer and hacking skills to find potential players and learn everything about them. He has to get his information from somewhere, after all. But you don’t go “out into the field” so to speak like he does.) If you don’t know the truth, he explains that he’s been granted extended vacation time from his work and suggests a holiday outside of South Korea. What about Thailand? Or Italy might be nice. Anywhere you want to go, just say the word. He has plenty of money to sustain the both of you during said vacation so don’t worry if you can’t get the time off. You didn’t really like your job anyway, right? Or maybe you’re pregnant so you take advantage of maternity and paternity leave early. Either way, a months or years long holiday would sound heavenly, wouldn’t it? If you do know the truth, you’re prepared the second he gives you a call on your restricted phone and says just a few words. You’ve been prepared for this day for years.
6. A scenario very much like the Korean thriller movie “Addicted”. You’re the long time girlfriend of The Recruiter’s brother (Of course you know The Recruiter’s actual name but for simplicity’s sake, I’ll just call him The Recruiter so authors can choose whatever name they want to give him.) and get married. While he and his brother are very different as people, and the only thing they really have in common is the parents they share, they are very close despite having very different interests and personalities. You wonder if the only reason they get along so well is because of you since you’re the common link between them. The Recruiter decides to take part in a car race for money even though his brother, who is concerned for his safety, asks him not to do that particular race. With a heavy heart, your husband plans on attending the car race to support his brother. Running late, he has to hail a taxi. The speeding taxi crashes into a lorry, and your husband is seriously injured. At the same time as the taxi crashes, The Recruiter’s car overturns in the middle of the race and he is also badly injured. Both The Recruiter and your husband fall into comas.
A year later, The Recruiter wakes up but is unable to walk properly, due in part to his physical injuries. He is brought home by you, where you attempt to take care of him while he recovers. Over time, you realize that The Recruiter is behaving identically to your husband. He tries to convince you that he feels like he is actually his brother, your husband, unable to explain why. He agrees to go for a hypnosis test and his answers so reflect his brother's character, that the doctor concludes your husband’s spirit has entered his brother (The Recruiter’s) body. You’re devastated by this revelation. You, unable to accept The Recruiter as your husband, tell his girlfriend that you are unable to live with him. She offers to take The Recruiter away and he agrees to go with her for your sake. One rainy day, he appears to you just as your husband had before. You discuss memories together and you finally accept The Recruiter as the "possessed" spirit of your husband. The Recruiter and you then share a slow, emotional night together where you have sex after the tearful revelation. You start to live life together as a happy and loving couple. In time, you become pregnant with The Recruiter’s child. Meanwhile, your real husband is still on life support. The doctor suggests to you that there is no chance of your husband waking up and it may be best if he were allowed to die in peace. You agree, and watch with The Recruiter as your husband is taken off life support.
The Recruiter’s girlfriend returns and tells you that she has accepted the fact that her now ex-boyfriend is no longer himself, and that she can no longer love him. She decides to go abroad to study (she may or may not have been blackmailed or bribed by the Recruiter and the people he works for to keep quiet and get lost or else be shot dead and her body burned and never found). The Recruiter, living as your husband, continues life as normal. Recruiting players for the games and keeping you in the dark about what he does or who he really is. You’re not feeling well while you’re out and about with him, so you decide to go home to get some rest and let him stay as what he’s doing is too important for him to just leave with you. While you’re home, a weird looking package addressed to The Recruiter arrives. You open it and find a necklace which had been given to you by The Recruiter. It went missing one day. You thought you just misplaced it.
You read the accompanying note, from The Recruiter’s ex-girlfriend, saying that she cannot understand his crazy love for you and could never ever hope to be you, no matter how hard he tried to mold her into you. Frantic, you dig through The Recruiter’s workroom and find a number of hidden photos of yourself that were taken by The Recruiter. You realize that he had loved you before you married his brother. You also find a notebook that The Recruiter wrote about loving you and being happy because he is able to watch you and live with you through his brother. You cry sorrowfully. You drive back to The Recruiter. You take him aside and ask him various questions about something innocuous like works of art and comment that some pieces may look good in your home and he should consider bidding on them or buying them outright. You continue to pretend that your husband’s spirit is in The Recruiter’s body despite knowing the truth. The Recruiter scatters his brother’s ashes across the sea. He loved you even before his brother, and had for the entire time you were with him. He faked his leg injury so you’d take care of him for a few weeks before he could pretend it was all healed thanks to you. The Recruiter also confesses that he made use of all of his brother's secrets to "transform" himself into him, to the extent of sacrificing his own identity and behavior. He claims that it was he who died after the accident. He tells his brother that you will forever love him under the identity of your dead husband. He apologizes and asks his brother never to forgive him for his deeds.
7. Hear me out: A consensual non-consent/CNC roleplay fic with The Recruiter. While you’re not a loan shark yourself, you’re part of the team Gi-hun hires to help track down The Recruiter due to being an associate of sorts of theirs and being personally recommended to Gi-hun by them. You’re the only woman and the youngest amongst the many men you’ve worked with the past two or three years. Despite your gender and age, you’ve proven to them and to Gi-hun that you’re experienced and have had great success in finding people that don’t want to be found. You’re highly capable and confident that you can do this and you’re not just in it for the one billion won he promised to whoever finds The Recruiter. You’re with Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok when they spot The Recruiter at Jonggak Station. The three of you are told to follow him carefully but avoid making contact and do not approach him. You watch him in Tapgol Park when he gives bread and lottery tickets to homeless people, but he doesn’t approach you, Choi, or Kim. Secretly, while Kim and Choi are shocked at The Recruiter’s behavior and think he’s a total nutcase when he stomps on all the bread after making a short speech to everyone, you think he’s so hot when he’s a little disheveled after all his stomping and combs his fingers through his hair, slicking it back and tucking his tie back into his suit blazer.
Despite Gi-hun’s order to not engage, you get the idea to follow The Recruiter down the alleyway and tell Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi that you might lose him if you wait and should just get him by yourselves. Before they can protest or tell you to wait, you’re running ahead, yelling for The Recruiter to stop. They don’t have time to argue and run after you to help you. When they get close, they witness The Recruiter hit you a couple times, so hard that the force of his hits causes you to stumble backwards and fall to the ground. You’re seemingly knocked out cold when your head makes impact with the hard cement. Despite Mr. Choi having a knife, The Recruiter easily subdues the two men with just his briefcase, knocking them unconscious for real. Once he tells you it’s okay to do so, you open your eyes. He grabs your hand and helps you up. You dust yourself off then help The Recruiter drag and carry Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok’s bodies inside to finish setting up the room for Russian Roulette. Together, you stand on the roof of a building and watch Gi-hun from above. When he tells you, you take your place in a chair that’s in the middle so you’ll be in perfect view of both men when they wake up and you’ll have The Recruiter standing directly behind you the entire time, his body pressed against the back of your chair and hovering over you. You nearly moan and rub your thighs together while he fastens your wrists to the armchair and pulls the ropes extra tight. As he ties the gag around your mouth, he gives you a warning to behave or else he’ll make use of your mouth later. But all you can think is, “Mmm. Don’t threaten me with a good time, daddy.” You see the lust swimming in his deep brown irises underneath his faux irritation with you. You know that if he could, he’d fuck you right now. But like you, he’s sticking to the plan and is going to wait to start the game until the real players wake up. On command, you let out a few tears to make your acting all the more believable.
Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok wake up and The Recruiter puts on opera music and explains the rules of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Minus One, and Russian Roulette, dramatically illustrating the penalty for the loser when he points the gun to his own head and pulls the trigger. But there’s another twist. They may have noticed you’re tied to your chair a little differently than they’re tied to theirs. That’s because, unlike them, you’re not playing. You’ll be an observer of sorts and won’t need the use of your hands. To their horror, The Recruiter then takes a knife or pair of scissors out of his pocket and violently cuts your clothes off your body. When you try to thrash and pull away from him, he slaps you and orders you to sit still unless you want him to cut your pretty skin. He grips your hair to keep you in place as he grazes the knife or scissors against your cheek, not cutting you, but coming very close. You sob harder and squeal in fear as you comply until you’re left in just your underwear, (because he is the only man allowed to look at your cunt) your shredded clothes in pieces around you. You don’t even have your bra or socks anymore. He explains to Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi that, for every time they tie and have to go again, he will touch you however he wants in front of them, seemingly without your consent. The first time they’ll tie, it’ll be for fifteen seconds. Then thirty. Then forty-five, and so on. And they’ll be forced to watch for the duration. He’ll point the gun and pull the trigger at whoever diverts their eyes before the time is up. He has so many fun toys he could use on you in his briefcase.
Your acting really sells it and adds to their fear and disgust. Whenever they tie, you pretend to cringe and sob every time The Recruiter touches you, letting out muffled screams as you beg him not to. He’d do all sorts of things to you, from fondling and squeezing your breasts, to sticking out his tongue and licking a long path on your skin from your wrist to your shoulder to your neck to your cheek before ending in biting your ear. He’d remove your gag for just a second, not giving you time to cry out before he’s tilting your head back to kiss your mouth, violating your lips with his own and the inside of your mouth with his tongue. He’d kiss you so hard that he’d bite down and your lower lip would bleed. After he’s done kissing you, he’d lick up the blood from your bleeding lip and immediately put the gag back in place. He’d drag the gun down between your breasts and to the inside of your underwear, rubbing it against your mound and teasing the possibility of inserting it inside your cunt, only to actually reach his other hand inside your underwear and finger you instead, using toys on you, etc. You’re such a pretty little actress, aren’t you? So good for him.
The exhibitionism, the humiliation, and Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi’s fear of death makes it all the more exciting for you and The Recruiter, especially when Choi and Mr. Kim beg him to stop, for you to be left alone. Though their pleas are just as muffled as yours. The shame and pity in their eyes as they’re forced to watch what they believe to be you being sexually assaulted by a sadistic stranger almost makes you want to laugh. But all games must end eventually. The time comes when The Recruiter puts five bullets into the chamber, increasing the chances of death to 5 in 6. When Mr. Kim refuses to take a hand away and sacrifices himself to spare Choi Woo-seok, The Recruiter shoots him dead. His blood splatters over the space between your breasts but only a little bit of it lands on The Recruiter’s cheek. As he passes by you, he strokes your hair with one hand, running his fingers through it and then letting it go as he bends down and congratulates a traumatized Choi on his win. He looks over his shoulder at your practically naked form, shivering and twitching with the aftershock of everything he did to you with just his tongue, hands, and toys thus far. He hasn’t even given you his cock yet and already you’re like this. He gloats that while Choi won the game, he’s the real winner who received the grand prize - you. He asks if they can have a talk. The Recruiter asks questions on Gi-hun’s location.
After the interrogation, The Recruiter knocks Choi out again and unties you so he can unbuckle his pants and manhandle you however he wants so he can have sex with you properly. Against the wall, on the table, on the floor, on the couch, it doesn’t matter. He’ll take you wherever and however he wants to take you. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Minus One and Russian Roulette was just a warmup. But this…this is even more intense. Even more passionate, primal, painful. When he inserts his fingers and/or cock inside you, it always hurts so damn good. He’s demanding, he’s high maintenance, but you always are able to keep up and know exactly what he wants without him even having to say a word. You read his body language so well. He’s the same way with you. He can tell exactly what you want just from the noises you make. Though he loves to hear you use your words and say it. He can be such a tease sometimes. He loves driving you to the precipice but withholding your orgasm from you until he believes you’ve earned it. He planted you within the Loan Sharks’ circle and tasked you with earning their and Gi-hun’s trust by using the information he fed you so you could pretend to be good at finding people. The ploy worked. Good girls deserve rewards and bad girls earn punishments. And while you’ve been bad at times over the past three or more years you’ve known him and have been punished by him accordingly, you were such a good girl for him in the game, so he’ll reward you by fucking you however you want and then giving you amazing aftercare. He hit you rather hard to make the act believable and your skin might be bruising, but you took it so well. He’ll get out the first aid kit and make you feel better in more ways than one. This plan was as much your idea as it was his. God, you’re so fucking brilliant, a perfect match for him in mind and body. He fucking loves you, even if he’s not the kind of man to say it often.
You change into the outfit he picked out and bought for you, including new lingerie to replace the set he half-destroyed. Could be a nice women’s dress suit similar to his. Something expensive but overall inconspicuous. When he goes to confront Gi-hun and play Russian Roulette again, you’re hidden in an alley nearby, waiting behind the wheel in the getaway car for after he either wins the game or fakes his suicide/death. Whether The Recruiter wins, loses, or Gi-hun breaks the rules and tries to shoot him, it doesn’t matter. You’ve planned ahead for every possible outcome, and they all end with the both of you getting away and lying low for a while, continuing your work for the games from behind the scenes. It’s not long before he opens the passenger door and has you drive, opening his briefcase where he has guns at the ready. He gives you the directions throughout the drive and you’re off. You’re like a professional stunt driver at the wheel, having no issues going high speeds, making smooth and fast turns, and weaving in and out of traffic to evade pursuers if you have to. He needs to keep his hands free in case you’re followed and he needs to lean out the window and shoot at anyone.
8. Going off of a previous thought I had now that season 2 revealed In-ho had a wife who died young from acute cirrhosis of the liver, and that he took bribes when he was a dirty cop because of her condition: What if In-ho went so far to save you from your illness that it turned into a Nora and Mr. Freeze situation? You were just a happily married couple but then you started feeling unwell. You didn’t think much of it at first, thinking your symptoms were from something else like the flu or food poisoning. It possibly got so bad that you fainted and hit your head on the way down. When he got home from work, your place was filled with smoke but no fire as the smoke alarms went off. Covering his mouth and nose, he was quick to open windows to let the smoke out. He found you unconscious in the kitchen, your hair matted by the pool of blood forming on the floor from your head wound. He’d never been so terrified until that moment. As much as he wanted to rush to you and make sure you weren’t dead, he had to secure the house first. He had to make sure you weren’t attacked and that, if you were, the attacker wasn’t still inside, hiding somewhere. With his gun pointed, he searched every room. All clear and nothing appeared to be stolen or out of place. He didn’t care about the burned dinner you were in the middle of making as he rushed you to the hospital. He was there with you, holding your hand during every doctor appointment, every test. And that was when you got the news. When he has a heart to heart with Gi-hun while undercover as Oh Young-il/Player 001, he tells him the truth. Not the whole truth, but some of it: That you’re very sick with acute cirrhosis and need a liver transplant (or any other disease and treatment of your choosing). But when you were going through the tests, you found out you were pregnant. The doctor suggested a termination, but you wouldn’t listen. You said you’d give birth even if it killed you. You’re stubborn. Your husband has never been able to change your mind about anything. You were struggling to find a donor and your condition was getting worse.
“Breathe. I'm right here. Look at me. Where's the formoterol?” He kneeled down next to you, wrapping his arm around you as you coughed violently (possibly coughing up blood) and struggled to inhale and exhale properly. He found the bottle and gave you the pill, helping you to drink by tipping the glass of water to your lips. The attack gradually subsided.
“That was the worst one yet.”
“That was the last pill. Why didn't you tell me?”
“I'm sorry. I forgot. There's so many. There's so many,” you cried.
“If you have another attack and you don't have this medication, you could die. You can't let this happen again.”
“Why? Does it matter?”
“It matters. I'll be back. I need to get this refilled.”
He went to the pharmacy, leaving you alone in your house.
“Next.”
“I need to get this refilled.”
“Do you have the prescription?”
“I have the bottle.”
“That's not the same thing, is it?”
“Please, I just need it refilled.”
“The original prescription doesn't have a refill order. If it doesn't have a refill order, I can't refill it.”
“This medication is for my wife. She's sick. She's in pain.”
“Everyone that comes in here is sick or in pain. Have your doctor write a new prescription. Then I can refill it.”
“Just give me the medication.”
“No.”
“You son of a bitch!” In-ho lunged at the man, trying to strangle him. He was pulled off and away by two other workers.
“Get out! Get him out of here! Get out of here before I call the cops, you kook!”
Call the cops? He was a fucking cop.
“You shouldn't have done that. I'll be back,” he warned, pointing a finger as he left.
You were admitted to the hospital though you could barely afford it and your husband visited every day until his visits suddenly stopped. You were worried but he never returned your phone calls. For an entire week, you didn’t hear from him. He borrowed as much money as he could, but it still wasn’t enough. He was desperate, then one of his oldest vendors heard about the situation and offered to help. So he borrowed money from them. But people saw it as a bribe and he got fired from his job. He had devoted his entire youth to it. The games were his last hope. He really needed that money even if it was blood money. He needed that money to save you and your child. That all happened in 2015 during the 28th annual squid games.
When he came back after he won a week later, he was all in black, including gloves and a mask that covered his entire face and changed his voice (not his Front Man outfit, but something similar). He was carrying a Heckler & Koch MP5A3 sub-machine gun and his Smith & Wesson Model 19 revolver from back when he was a cop. Though he’d gone against the protocol of leaving one chamber empty and another filled with a blank. He had five live bullets loaded in the chamber and ready to fire as he pointed it at the worker that denied him before.
“Formoterol. Now.” He demanded. Upon entering the pharmacy, he shot the only other worker and person in the building not to kill but to incapacitate him so he couldn’t call for help.
“Okay. Okay. Take it all. Please, don't kill me. Please. I’ll-I'll do anything you want.” The worker begged, holding his hands up. He wasn’t so smug now, was he?
In-ho took all of the medication you needed. “Thank you. You and your friend here...are helping to save my wife.”
He shot both men dead and left.
To make sure nobody would make a missing persons report or come looking for you when he inevitably kidnapped you from the hospital you were staying in and brought you to the island, he faked your death by doing something crazy like impersonating a doctor and drugging you with something that wouldn’t kill you, but make your heart rate so slow that it caused a Code Blue and set off the alarms, making it look like you were flatlining. He even forged legal documents making it look like you consented to a “Do Not Resuscitate” order so that medical staff wouldn’t accidentally kill you by shocking you or break your ribs from performing chest compressions. Once they disabled all the alarms and unhooked you from the IVs and monitors that were attached to your skin and moved you to the morgue, he kidnapped you and replaced your unconscious body with an unclaimed female corpse that was unrecognizable in the face and teeth but looked enough like you to pass by planting stuff on it so his family would false identify it as you after DNA tests matched with you. After whisking you away to the island to get you the treatments you needed to overcome your sickness, whenever you were awake, he smoothly lied to you to leave you oblivious and in the dark about where you really were and what was really going on, taking advantage of your confusion and disorientation and other side effects from your condition to gaslight you.
“In-ho...?”
“I'm here, darling. I brought you home,” he said, holding your hand.
The room you were in didn’t look familiar. It didn’t look like home. It looked more like a luxurious hotel room.
“I'm so tired.”
“I know. It'll all be over soon.”
“In-ho... I want you to let me go. Let me die,” you begged, cupping his face in your hands.
“Honey, you don't mean that. We can do this. A donor has been found. The surgery will work. I'll be there when you wake up. I'll be there.”
“Okay.” You nodded your head and he kissed you.
Just as you were about to be put under, you stopped him and who you assumed to be doctors standing nearby (though they were dressed rather strangely) from injecting you with the sedative or putting the mask with knockout gas over your nose and mouth by grabbing his hand. “In-ho, wait. My necklace. The one that you gave me on our first anniversary. I left it on the nightstand in my hospital room when I had to go in for scans. Did you get it for me? Please, dear, tell me you did.”
He hesitated, unsure if you were just stalling for the sake of stalling or not. He brought it with him. Of course he did. “I got it. I've got it,” he said, pulling it out of his pocket to show you.
“Can you put it on me? Please, honey. I know it’s silly, but it’d make me feel…less afraid.”
He complied with your wish, bending over you to put it around your neck, clasping it into place. You fiddled with it, the familiarity of the metal bringing you comfort under your fingers. Now that he was close enough, you put your other hand on his cheek, rubbing it as you ran your fingers through his hair. “In-ho. I love you. If I don’t make it off the table… Please don't blame yourself.”
“You’ll make it. I’ll see you soon.” He reassured you, giving you one last kiss. “I love you,” was one of the last things you heard. A few minutes later, you were unconscious.
It’d take months, possibly even years to even begin to get you back to where you were, though you’ve shown signs of improvement after undergoing treatment. You were often unconscious from the surgeries and operations during your pregnancy and he’d tell himself he wasn’t gaslighting you out of malice, but out of love. The less you knew, the safer you’d be. He’d go as far to make sure you didn’t find out that he keeps hidden cameras around his quarters and a tracker hidden in either a piece of jewelry he knows you always wear or possibly under your skin even, claiming it was part of your surgeries so you wouldn’t question the stitches or the healing scar. You don’t feel it so you don’t know it’s there. You spent most of your pregnancy on bedrest. He couldn’t drug or sedate you too much because of the risk to the baby’s health, but even when you were awake, he’d do his damnedest to keep you safe, healthy, and comfortable even while lying to you or expertly deflecting your questions. Where’s your cell phone? Deflect. Why can’t this Apple computer in his office connect to the internet? Deflect. When can you go home? Deflect. Where are you? Deflect. Even though the circumstances of your new living situation were unclear and left you unsettled, you were excited to give birth despite the somewhat shady doctors your husband brought to care for you. If he ever detected you trying to leave his quarters, an alarm beeped just loud enough for him to hear it, signaling to him to put his quarters on complete lockdown with a push of a button so you couldn’t wander off and he’d rush to check on you. He’d either sedate you again if he absolutely had to out of fear your lashing out at him would be a danger to yourself or the baby, or he’d otherwise distract or dissuade you from asking too many questions or wandering too far. If you asked questions, he’d tell you to think of it as a dream, that it isn’t a bad dream for you anyway since you’ll have your baby soon. When the time came for you to give birth, your husband was there with doctors that were hired for their discretion (or he’d just kill them afterwards) and you gave birth to a healthy baby and survived, though the birth was difficult and took a great toll on your body. That was in 2015 or 2016.
You thought you’d be able to go home eventually, but in reality, you’re still practically a prisoner on an unknown island. During the first couple years, you took care of your baby while your husband oversaw vulnerable people being driven to kill others or themselves out of desperation for blood money for the entertainment of bored rich people in sadistic death games. Whenever it was lights out for the players, he came back and gave you your much needed break, taking his turn to care for your baby while you rested. You’re not sure why you’re still here as you’re feeling much better, but your husband and doctors keep saying your condition isn’t stable yet, you’re not in the clear, a few more tests and treatments. It’s always something. He won’t let you leave. You can’t leave this place without his permission.
And even worse, when your child reached a certain age, maybe around three or four (old enough to walk and talk), he took them away from you, sent them to be raised and cared for by people he knew he could trust until the time was right for you to take them back. He couldn’t let your child grow up in this place and become old enough to have awareness of their surroundings or start asking questions. When children reach a certain age, they get curious. Too curious. He couldn’t risk that. And this is no place for a child anyway. They need proper socialization and a healthy environment to grow and learn. When you found out what he’d done, you yelled at him, screamed at him, hit him repeatedly. He took it all. Then you ignored him, gave him the silent treatment. He took that too. He’d understand if you never forgive him but he needs you to understand that he does all of this because he loves and cares about you and your child - his family - more than he does a bunch of strangers. He’ll kill however many he needs to if it means you both get to live. And that’s why when Thanos is talking shit while he’s undercover in the games, telling him to stop running his mouth and take care of his own damn kids, to save the lecture for his own children, he snaps and beats the shit out of him, nearly choking him to death in the middle of the dorms. But, unbeknownst to him, after your child was taken away from you, you became more proactive in discovering the truth and getting off this damn island. You weren’t just gonna lie down and blindly love and trust your husband anymore. You can play dual roles and keep secrets as well as he can. You know your husband would never kill you. He’s done everything to save you. And even if he does kill you for going behind his back, you’re not afraid of dying. Your resolve is strong, unwavering. You’ll either get off this damn island and get your child back or die trying, with or without your husband. It’ll be up to him what he wants to do, if he comes with you or not. You just have to bide your time and play your cards right.
9. You’re a player and while In-ho is undercover as player 001/Oh Young-il, you and he form some kind of connection and stick together during the games. You likely have a considerate age gap between you. He’s probably at least fifteen years older than you but despite that, you’re hot for each other. You have been ever since surviving the six legged relay race. You’re so thankful he and his team took pity on you and let you join and bonded with him in the dorms afterwards. He sticks by you during the Mingle game and saves your life by grabbing your wrist and running with you, keeping you close for every round so you’re always in a room with him, no matter how many people are needed. On the last round, he kills a man in ten seconds before your very eyes after he refuses to leave. After the game, he comes to you during lights out and asks if you want to go with him somewhere away from everybody else to have some “much needed alone time together”. You know, despite his use of euphemism or polite language, that he’s inviting you to have sex to blow off some steam and come down from the high that the combined stress of playing the latest game and left over adrenaline gave you.
You follow his lead when he knocks on the door and asks a guard to use the bathroom. Together you ditch the guard (unbeknownst to you, he used his authority as the Front Man and subtly signaled the guard to go away.) and he takes you back to the room where the Mingle game was played, now spotless from clean up. No blood or bodies anywhere. The lights are mostly off and the few that are on are low, making the lighting in the room look dark purple, almost black, with hints of red. He tells you to pick any door of your choosing. You pick a door that’s your favorite color and he grabs you by the hand or lifts you up to carry you bridal style or over his shoulder into the room, closing the door behind you. You barely pay attention to the sound of the lock clicking into place as In-ho/Young-il is instantly on you, his hands and mouth all over your body, touching and feeling everywhere he can before you even begin to take your clothes off. That comes soon enough as, finally alone, you have sex on the floor in the colored room, the light above reflecting off the painted walls and creating makeshift “mood lighting” as you meet his hot kisses and touches with equal fervor. The potential danger of being caught by the pink guards only further turns you on. Unbeknownst to you, there’s no danger at all since you’re having sex with the Front Man and Host of the games. You’d hate to admit it, but you thought he was so sexy when he was strangling that man to death. It almost turned you on when he didn’t break eye contact with you and you heard the player’s neck snap. While he’s thrusting in and out of you, you beg him to choke you. He asks if you’re sure, and you confirm your consent. He tells you to tap his shoulder or scratch down his back three times if you want him to let go. While he fucks you, he chokes you so hard that your vision begins to blur and you see stars as you struggle to breathe. He doesn’t apply enough pressure to kill you or knock you out, but it’s enough to make your orgasm that much sweeter of a high.
10. While In-ho is undercover as player 001/Oh Young-il, he becomes obsessed with you because you’re visibly pregnant and/or have a resemblance to his deceased wife somehow. Even if it’s just one thing like your smile, eyes, or personality. After his wife got sick and both she and their unborn child died, he was devastated at the loss of his family, believing he went through the games and won, but it was all for nothing as he got out only to find his family was already dead. He felt guilty for not spending time with his wife in the hospital and being there for her before she died. (“I should go and be with my wife at the hospital,” he said to Gi-hun.) He never really forgave himself for just abandoning her without a word. And with nothing to go back to in the outside world - no wife, no child, no job - he dedicated himself to the games as the Front Man. That’s why he snapped and beat the shit out of Thanos and nearly choked him to death after his insensitive comments about “save the lecture for your own damn kids”. He thought he lost his beloved wife and his baby forever, but seeing you makes him believe he can have both a wife and a child again.
He becomes immensely protective of you, so much so that it’s unnerving to the other players at times, possibly even you, but nobody would dare to say a thing to his face. He’s one of the most formidable players in the game. He kills several players in the games personally while telling you sweet and caring things when you’re given moments of respite during the games and when you’re back in the dorms after the games are over.
“When you get out of here, go see a doctor right away. You’ve been under a lot of stress. You need to get yourself checked out.”
He gives you his milk or shares his food with you, insisting on you taking it since you’re eating for two and need it more than he does. He lets you use his pillow or blanket during lights out. He’s always asking if you’re all right and cracking jokes to keep the mood light and make you smile despite the circumstances. He keeps you stuck to him during every game like velcro. During the six-legged race? Your arm is interlocked with his. During the Mingle game? He’s holding onto your arm or wrist so tightly when you run to gather enough players and get to a colored door in time that there’s no chance of other frantic players pushing you to the ground or separating you from him. When you need to go to the bathroom outside of hours and sneak out of bed, he’s awake and asks what you’re doing. When you sheepishly admit you need the bathroom, he’s there with you at the door demanding for you to be let out if the guards tell you no at first. Despite being a man, he’s in the women’s bathroom with you. You’re the only two people awake and using the bathroom, so who cares if he’s a man in the women’s bathroom? The guards definitely don’t care. (Because he’s their boss, but you don’t know that.) He’s leaning against the stall directly across from the one you go into or the sink and keeps you company, asking if you’re sick and if you need him to hold your hair back for you if you’re feeling nauseous when he notices you’ve been in there for a long time. If he hears you crying, he’s knocking on the stall before opening it and kneeling in front of you, immediately fretting over you, asking if it’s the baby and if you’re in any pain, are you in labor, is the baby coming? Then he’s holding you and comforting you when you admit you’re afraid. Same for if you have an emotional breakdown over not being allowed to go home after the vote doesn’t go the way you want it to. He’s there to hold you, stroke your hair and stomach (with your permission of course) and tell you you’re going to make it out of this and both you and your baby will be fine. You swear sometimes you hear him say “our” baby, or that he’s calling you pet names like darling, honey, and sweetheart, but he gaslights you and tells you that you must’ve misheard him whenever you call it out and ask him about it.
When he goes with the men to find the control room, you stay behind. While you’re not sure if you love him, you have grown to care for him and see him as a dear friend at least and are worried for him. After the game is over and he goes back to being the Front Man, the pink guards storm into the dorms, firing off two warning shots and ordering everyone to get down on the floor. The sight of the pink guards rushing forwards with their guns pointed and no sign of Young-il or any of the other players makes you fear for the worst. Curled up on your side on the floor, you panic when your water breaks at the exact moment you believe Young-il is dead. Other players might think you’ve peed your pants from fear, but you can feel the contractions already starting. Unbeknownst to you, the Front Man sees your water break on the cameras from the control room, the small puddle staining your sweatpants wet and forming on the floor under you as the women nearby try to comfort you. He orders some of the guards in the control room to escort you out of the dorm room and to his private quarters while the other pink guards are busy defusing the situation. He emphasizes to them to be gentle with you, meaning don’t walk too fast, make sure you don’t fall, and keep their guns pointed away from you at all times. You’re terrified when three or four pink guards approach you and two of them slowly lift you up by your arms and force you to follow them out of the dorms the second you get back on your feet. You’re the only player singled out and escorted away from the others. Your friends are yelling your name, asking the guards where they’re taking you, but they receive no answer. Once you’re in the hallways of many colorful stairs, they blindfold you so you can’t know where you’re going, making you more scared. Your arm is held the whole way to wherever it is you’re going. They don’t tell you anything or answer your questions. They only tell you when there are steps in front of you so you don’t trip and fall on them. But you think they’re holding onto you so you can’t run. You think for sure you’re going to be killed and your baby will be cut out of your dead body and sold to a black market along with your organs or something.
But when the blindfold is removed, you find yourself lying down on a plush bed in a very nice, almost luxurious room with the Front Man and who you think is a doctor of sorts. The Front Man orders the doctor to help you by giving you everything you need for a safe and healthy delivery. But while you’re given a clean and plain men’s t-shirt so you can change out of your ruined track suit, you’re unnerved that the Front Man won’t leave. He’s considerate enough to turn his back or let you change in his bathroom and doesn’t turn back around until you’re back in his bed with your lower half covered with the blankets and the men’s shirt, which is so big and long on you it’s like a nightgown almost. He stands either on your left or right side near your head so he can’t see between your legs. While a part of you is relieved you have that semblance of privacy, he just stands there, watching over you. And you can’t read his face since it’s covered by his black mask. And you can’t tell much emotion from his voice either. It unnerves you.
But the terror becomes confusion when he eventually asks if you need to hold his hand after watching you struggle through a few contractions despite the epidural you were given. What? He repeats the question. When you shakily say yes, he removes his black leather gloves to hold your hand in both of his, letting you squeeze as tightly as you can when the contractions are at their worst. Your strength is nothing compared to his so he barely feels it. His skin is so warm. This bed is warm too. Much warmer than the cot you were sleeping in. You hate to admit that it feels nice. He puts on some jazz music to help you relax. He tells you not to think and to just focus on the music, breathe, and push whenever the doctor tells you to. After who knows how many hours, you give one last push and hear a baby crying. Your baby. After the doctor cleans them up and does what needs to be done for aftercare for you including any stitches or disposing of the placenta, etc., the Front Man orders him to leave. Your baby is wrapped in a soft towel or sheet as a makeshift blanket and resting on your chest. For a moment, you’re too in awe of them to care about the Front Man or what’s happening around you.
But then you hear a soft click as he takes his mask off and reveals himself not as player 001, Oh Young-il - but Hwang In-ho, Captain and Host of the squid games following his predecessor’s death and, even more alarming, your husband and the father of your child. You can’t believe it. He joined Gi-hun's assault on the staff, dispatching several guards personally. He killed two players to effectively fake his death to resume his place amongst the staff. When you’re horrified and exclaim that all those players who went with him are dead because of him, he is quick to correct you that no, they’re all dead because of Gi-hun. Even worse for you, if the real father of your child is still alive, whether or not you have a relationship with him, he won’t be alive for much longer. Even if he’s in the outside world and not a part of the games, In-ho will still find a way to kill him discreetly and dispose of the body so he can have you and your child for himself. He effectively kidnaps you and keeps you and your baby captive in his quarters because he’s all kinds of fucked up after his wife and unborn child’s deaths. You thought the games made him so relentless, that the games changed him. What you don’t know is that this relentless drive to get what he wants was apparent even before becoming the Front Man, as there were many self-help books on achieving one's desires in his old apartment.
OR
If you’re not already pregnant when he meets you, he’d be determined to impregnate you and would go out of his way to seduce you through emotional and mental manipulation or bribes during downtime between the games. Even worse for you if it works and you sleep with him in a moment of clouded judgment due to your hormones and/or fragile mental and emotional state from the high stress of your near death experiences. Either in your bunk, a bathroom stall, the stairs, or inside one of the colored doors from the Mingle game. Whether or not you’re already pregnant, once you have sex with him, your fate is pretty much sealed. He’d be even more protective and possessive of you, as your consenting to have sex with him would affirm for him the delusion that you love him back and accept him as your husband and father of your child, whether or not he actually is the child’s father biologically.
Either way, it’d be like a Basement Wife trope but he keeps going back and forth between sweet and doting and cold and ruthless personalities so it’s like you’re dealing with a Jekyll and Hyde type situation while prisoner. He’d never hurt you, especially not while you’re in such a fragile condition. He doesn’t want to chain you to the bed or sedate you as it can’t be good for you or the baby, but he will if you persist in misbehaving and lashing out. Stress isn’t good for you or the baby. He has no fear about you harming him, he can easily overpower you without hurting you, but he won’t let you harm yourself or your baby in any way. He might strap a monitor on your wrist that you can’t take off because it has a very special lock only he has the key to. Kind of like a house arrest ankle monitor. But this monitor allows him to monitor your health, whereabouts, and call you if he’s away for any reason - like an Apple Watch. Either that or he’d implant a tracking chip under your skin somewhere on your body while you’re passed out from being sedated. If you wake up, he knows. If you get out of bed to get a glass of water, use the bathroom, take a shower, or otherwise move around his quarters, he knows. If you so much as get a goddamn paper cut from reading a book, he knows. He won’t let anything happen to you or your child. You should’ve known something was wrong with him when he strangled a man to death and broke his neck in front of you during the Mingle game just so you and he could be the only two people in the room needed to pass. He looked at you and you saw no remorse or horror in his eyes. Only pride at protecting you.
11. You’re pregnant during the games and go into labor at an inopportune moment, possibly during the games or during the “special game” of the lights out free for all when everybody was murdering each other. If it’s the special game, he’d hide under the bed on the bottom level with you and his “friends”, his arms wrapped around you and his body almost on top of yours like a human shield. His hand would clamp over your mouth to keep you quiet if you cried out from seeing a player get murdered right in front of your eyes. You’d cry out again and that’s when you’d both feel wetness coming from your sweatpants and you both know it’s not pee. However it happens, In-ho/Young-il is so fiercely protective of you, having a soft spot for you ever since you revealed you were pregnant when you approached him and his team for the six-legged race and since then giving you special treatment that you thought was just him being nice, like giving you extra food and milk or letting you use his pillow and blanket so you’d be more comfortable during lights out.
When pink guards burst in and the players enact their plan to steal the guards’ guns and infiltrate the control room to capture the Front Man, In-ho makes sure you stay down and out of the rain of fire as he shoots many pink guards dead. When enough guards are dead and the others have retreated, he gets ready to head out with Gi-hun and his team. He waits until everyone else in line is ahead of him before he helps you up and takes you out of the room with him, telling you that you can’t stay in the dorms and he knows a place where you’ll be safe to deliver your baby. While the others are being led by the pink guard they took hostage and aren’t looking at him and you at the very back of the line, he takes you down a different hallway. You’re confused as it appears to be a dead end. He looks up towards a camera and nods. You don’t have time to react or understand what’s happening when the wall behind you opens up and a couple of pink guards blindfold you and grab hold of you from behind, pulling you away as you scream Young-il’s name for help. The others are too far away and can’t hear you over the sounds of their own yelling and all the gunfire. The last thing you hear is gunfire and Young-il’s voice telling you to trust him and that you’re going to be fine before the wall slides shut again, cutting you off from him and everyone else. You have no choice but to go wherever the guards are leading you and hope you and your baby will be okay along with Young-il. That’s why when after In-ho shoots players 047 and 015 in the back, he tells the control room to start wrapping things up. The sooner Gi-hun’s failed attempt at playing the hero ends, the sooner he can drop the facade of being Young-il and be at your side while you give birth in his private quarters.
OR
In-ho arranges for you to be exempt from the game so you can be taken away and brought to a medical bay or his personal quarters quietly without the other players putting up too much of a fuss since you can’t compete while in labor. It wouldn’t be fair and the games are all about fairness, or so he likes to preach. (Just like how he exempted Mi-nyeo from the marbles game when nobody wanted to pair up with her.) Could be part of my previous ideas of you being pregnant or could be its own separate thing.
12. You’re his wife and you’re very sick with acute cirrhosis and need a liver transplant. (Or any other disease and treatment of your choosing.) But when you’re going through the tests, you find out you’re pregnant.
"What-what are you saying?" In-ho gasps out as panic and wishful thinking begin to battle in his mind.
You brush your hand against his and smile with teary eyes. "The doctor is saying I'm pregnant, In-ho. We're going to have a baby."
You’re happy about this. He can’t believe it. Under different circumstances, sure. He could understand you being happy then. But now? With you so sick? Being pregnant now is far too dangerous. Even the doctor suggests a termination, but you won’t listen. You tell your husband you’ll give birth even if it kills you. You’re stubborn. Your husband has never been able to change your mind about anything. But in the following weeks, you’re struggling to find a donor and your condition is getting worse. He borrows as much money as he can, but it still isn’t enough. Then one of his oldest vendors hears about the situation and offers to help. So he borrows money from them. But people see it as a bribe and he gets fired from his job. He had devoted his entire youth to it. He’s desperate. Desperate enough to do something terrible. An irrevocable betrayal.
The first scare is...relatively simple, in retrospect. That night, In-ho comes home to you, perfect and lovely, preparing a meal meant to be shared. He doesn’t have much time to stay before he has to leave for “work” once more, but just seeing you in your shared dingy little kitchen creating something with him in mind makes his heart skip a beat in his chest. It’s a wonderfully simple moment the two of you spend together, holding hands like lovestruck teenagers across the table while you eat. As he’s preparing to depart, you sit by the window and sip at a glass of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage, illuminated by the lights of the city. In-ho is certain he's never seen you more beautiful. You take another sip of your drink before a strange expression crosses your features. It’s mostly an unreadable expression, but there’s the undercurrent of something...sad. It’s something In-ho has never really seen before, and it makes the first tendrils of anxiety curl in his stomach.
"Darling? Is something wrong?" he asks, walking over to where you sit.
"No, no, not at all," you assure him. When you look up at him, the twinge of sadness is already gone. "I just had...a strange thought, that's all. I'm being silly." You reach over and place your hand on his cheek. He can’t help but nuzzle into the simple touch and press a kiss to your soft palm. "Go," you say comfortingly. "Work hard, do good."
In-ho manages a smile and places his hand over yours for a lingering moment before pulling away. "I’ll see you soon, my love."
The two of you share a smile before he turns to go. He’s halfway to the door when he hears your voice again. And what you say makes his blood run cold. To you, it’s something so innocent, so innocuous. But In-ho almost drops what he’s holding. Just from that one sentence, he can tell you’re worsening. He scrambles to remember when your last injection was, and his mind is already cataloguing the work he will need to do to prepare your next one. He curses himself internally for letting it go so long, for putting you in this position. You need your medicine and he’s going to get it for you.
In-ho almost forgets about that incident by the time something else happens.
You place his hand over your stomach, encouraging him to splay his fingers out as if you’re expecting something to happen from his touch. "Do you feel anything? Anything out of the ordinary?"
"Not at all." He tilts his head at you with confusion and a hint of worry. "Why? Are you feeling all right, is everything okay, darling?"
"No, In-ho, everything is fine!" You still hold his hand over your stomach, gently stroking over the skin on the back of it with your thumb to reassure him. "I feel great. You...didn't notice anything?"
He shakes his head, brows furrowed but relishing in the feel of your soft skin.
"Oh," you say with an edge of...disappointment? "I guess it must be too early, then. I thought I felt movement. Must’ve been phantom kicks.” The smile on your features steadily grows nevertheless.
His throat tightens and he feels the beginnings of hot tears prick behind his eyes, so he has to look away from you. All he can hear is the blood rushing through his ears, your words falling away somewhere behind him. Imagining you pregnant was one thing. It gave him a private thrill, the idea of having a family. With you. It was a beautiful fantasy he kept close to his heart, but he knows now that you’re getting further along, that you won’t survive childbirth even if you do manage to carry to term. In the forefront of his mind, he knows that his fantasies of having a child with you has to remain exactly that. Fantasies. At least until your disease is cured or, if it can’t be, then at the very least, he can get you treatment to pull you out of danger and make you healthy again. At a different time, perhaps, your pregnancy would be a joyous moment. How exuberant he would be were things different, to prepare to bring new life into the world. How beautiful you would look, growing with his child, your body undergoing glorious metamorphosis. His child.
But that is not the reality he can live in while you’re still sick. You’re in danger, a danger he helped perpetuate. The thought makes In-ho shudder almost violently. There is no way to guarantee your survival if you go through with this pregnancy, or even the child's survival if you do bring him or her into this world. The thought of you suffering hours of labor, of dying…only for your baby to die after a few feeble hours of breathing in the NICU… That shakes him down to his core, makes him sick to his stomach. It would be better, merciful even, to not introduce a child to this world at this time. It breaks In-ho’s heart to realize, but worse, he’ll have to break yours, too. He can’t just tell you why there’s so much danger in this joy. He tried that when the doctors first gave you the news and advised you to terminate. You wouldn’t listen to him then and it resulted in an argument that he worried would only add too much stress onto you. He pretended to acquiesce to you, telling you that you’re right and together you’ll find a way, you will. There's always hope. As long as you're alive, there's hope, right? And you told him yes. There's hope. And that was the end of the argument. If he brings it up again, what will you think? You definitely won’t change your mind now. Talking to you will get him nowhere. He knows that. He has to do what he has to do.
It isn’t hard to get the pill. It’s a simple thing, a beige color, unassuming overall. Yet, it seems to have the weight of a brick in In-ho’s coat pocket. Since your pregnancy reveal, you had managed to find books on prenatal care and baby names and were going through them religiously. It’s...painful for In-ho to reconcile your eagerness, your pure unadulterated excitement, with what he’s about to do. It’s necessary, he knows that, and he hopes you will understand that. Eventually. He trudges into the house and sure enough, there you are sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through the pages of one of your new baby name books with a highlighter. When you hear the door close, you smile up at In-ho and go to stand to greet him.
"Stay seated, darling, it's fine," he assures you, walking over and kissing your temple.
You giggle at him. "In-ho, I'm only three months along at most, I won't overexert myself by getting up to welcome my wonderful husband home."
"I know, I know." He plants another kiss on your forehead before he walks into the kitchen. "Hungry, my love?"
"I can make dinner, you've been working so hard lately. All that overtime at the precinct."
"Just tonight, honey. Let me do this for you. For...both of you."
Maybe it’s an underhanded manipulation tactic, but it works. You smile with a dreamy look in your eyes, turning back to your book.
In-ho isn’t much of a cook, but he grabbed a few fresh fruits and vegetables the last time he went out for groceries, purposefully so. With a blender he hasn't touched in years, he’s able to whip up a basic green smoothie. He hesitates when he reaches for the pill in his pocket. In that moment, he hears something from behind him: you begin humming to yourself. When he listens closer, he realizes the song is an easily recognizable lullaby. Nausea swirls in his gut and he has to fight the urge to look back at you. If he looks, he won’t be able to go through with it. He crushes the pill into powder and sprinkles it into the mixture, stirring it with a spoon before he can think about it anymore. It’s blended so much that you won’t feel or taste it at all. You won’t notice. When it’s finished, In-ho pushes a glass towards you and is greeted with a curious smile.
"Trying to keep me strong and healthy for the baby?" you tease. You smile warmly. "Thank you, honey. It looks great." You reach out and start to drink without hesitation.
It’s over. In-ho feels like he can breathe again, at least for the moment.
It doesn’t last long.
In-ho goes away to “work”, hoping you’ll be asleep while the pill works. He’s ready to be there for you once he returns, to be with you in any grief you feel.
The house is eerily silent and dark when he returns. In-ho climbs the stairs, eager to slip into bed with you for just a few moments of fitful rest. Just some time to be with you, before he has to face your hurt. The bedroom is empty when he walks in. The bedsheets on your side are haphazardly tossed aside, and you’re nowhere to be seen. He walks over and flips on the nightstand light, and notices out of the corner of his eye a discoloration in the sheets. A large stain rests in the middle of the bed, right where you would be lying, and when In-ho touches it, the tips of his fingers come back red. That’s when he notices the door to the master bathroom is closed, and a bit of light shines from underneath. If he focuses on the silence of the room, he can hear...something, from the other side. He makes his way over, slowly, a death march to the door. He reaches up to knock, but stops when he hears the faint sound again. Tiny gasps, hiccups. Sniffling. Muffled sobs. His heart shatters all over again.
"Darling?" He eventually calls, giving the door a strong but soft knock. "Darling, I'm coming in."
"In-ho?" You gasp out, your voice heavy with tears. "In-ho, no, please, don't-" you dissolve into more pronounced sobs, and In-ho hears something clatter to the floor.
"My love, please let me-"
"I said no!"
He freezes. He has never once heard you like this, the agonized sharpness turned to venom in your words. Not even when you were arguing with him in the doctor’s office over whether to terminate your pregnancy or not. He doesn’t try to knock or speak again, but he cannot bring his feet to drag his body from the door. He ends up sitting with his back against the door, listening to you cry. Alone. He doesn’t get any rest that night. Eventually, In-ho has to regretfully rise. Shady characters are in need of him once again and, in exchange, they’ll give him money he so desperately needs. It’s through such shady characters he was able to procure the medications that you needed so far. How he was able to get the pill to terminate your pregnancy. As he gathers his coat to go, he hears the door creak open, and turns to look at you. It’s like seeing a ghost. You’re pale, eyes red and ringed with dark circles, and even the way you hold yourself is as if you’re being dragged down to the earth. There’s a moment where the two of you simply exist in the same space. In-ho watches your features for even the most minuscule change, and it feels like hours pass as he waits. Eventually, you sigh in an attempt to speak, but your voice shakes with even the simple release of breath. In-ho takes a single step forward and waits again. This time, you meet him halfway, but keep your eyes firmly down and away from his own. Is it shame that motivates you to divert your gaze? The shame that rightfully only he should be feeling? The shame that is, in fact, burning in his core as he observes how much grief is weighing you down? You make an attempt to speak again, but just shake your head. You press your eyes closed to keep from outright sobbing but still stray tears escape. In-ho reaches up and brushes them away, letting his knuckles brush against your cheeks. The contact of his skin against yours shatters the tension and you walk forward into his arms, burying your face against his chest. He holds you close, knowing he’s wholly undeserving of the beautiful creature that is his wife seeking his arms for comfort. He allows himself a single tear that falls into your hair, not any more than that. How dare he compare his grief to yours, how dare he try and appropriate your sorrow? He can almost hear your voice in his head: How dare you? How dare you? Somehow, the embrace ends and he’s helping you into bed after stripping the bloodied sheets and putting on fresh ones. He pulls the blankets around your unmoving form, tucking you in and making sure you’re warm enough.
"I have to go," he whispers regretfully, not even sure if you’ll respond.
And you don’t. You don’t even look at him but, before he leaves, he kisses your lips and your hairline then steals a glance back at you. Your eyes fall closed, and silent tears are streaming down your cheeks as you cry yourself back to sleep.
But it doesn’t end there. You’re hospitalized shortly after and he’s driven to compete in the squid games after being recruited. The games are his last hope. He really needs that money even if it’s blood money. He needs that money to save you since he couldn’t save both you and your child. He could only save one. He wants to return home to you so he can get you the operation and medication you need to ensure you could one day have a healthy and safe pregnancy. He knows you still want a child despite the traumatic loss you suffered. You’ll never know what he did. After he won, you’re still in the hospital, waiting for him. As part of his reward for winning, a donor is found for you on top of the cash prize of 45.6 billion won. But he can’t go back to his old life after all the bridges that have been burned behind him. But he wants - no, needs to keep you. If there’s anyone or anything from his old life he will never let go of, it’s you. Bound by his duties as the Front Man for the games and his marriage vows to you, he has no other choice but to go undercover as a doctor and create a diversion to kidnap you from the hospital so he can whisk you away to an unknown and private island where you can receive the best medical attention for your condition. Somehow, police have already been notified of his activity and what he plans to do.
“He’s in the building, posing as a doctor. He’s armed and has already killed five people. Evacuation is underway. We have to go,” an attending physician says.
“No. An evacuation is exactly what he wants. The staff bailed when the alarms went off. This is a deliberate diversion to get everybody out and away from her. He’s here for her. We can't leave her alone in her room. She’ll die if we leave her alone here or if he takes her,” your personal doctor insists.
“So we take her with us. Come on. Careful.”
“Thank you,” you say weakly as your doctor helps you out of bed and into a wheelchair.
You don’t get very far when you’re stopped by your husband standing in the doorway to the ward you’re kept in, dressed in black scrubs, black gloves, and a medical face mask, just like the police said he’d be. He’s holding a Heckler & Koch MP5A3 sub-machine gun that’s strapped over his shoulder and across his body. “Ah... I'll take it from here.”
“In-ho… In-ho, listen to me. We're trying to help her.”
“You're killing her.”
“No. No, In-ho.”
“In-ho...” you rasp, your voice and body incredibly weak from your disease. Your eyes water when you look at him. Despite his black attire, you can still see the blood on him and you know it’s not his. You’re terrified.
“I understand why you're doing this,” your doctor tries to sympathize.
“I'm saving her life.”
“At the cost of how many other lives?”
“Too many to turn back now. As soon as I've done what I need to do, I'll give myself up. But now we have to leave.”
“In-ho, listen to me. I'm her doctor. I know her history. I’ve known her her entire adult life. If we move her now, she might die.”
“Her doctor. Good. You're coming with us to push the wheelchair. Let's go.”
“No. No way!” The attending physician tries to stop this from happening.
“I'm going. She's my patient,” your doctor insists.
“I can't let you do that. I'll go.”
“It's not your call. She needs me.”
“I'm not gonna hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone, unless I have to.” Your husband insists.
“I'm going.”
“In-ho, please...don't do this. Please, she’s pregnant.” Pregnant just like I was, you want to say, but you don’t have the strength. Your voice shakes like a rattle as you struggle to breathe while you beg for him to not do this, to leave your doctor out of it, trying to get through to him, to get him to see reason.
“Honey, don't worry. It's all under control.”
“Help...” you beg, your body already feeling worse.
“We have to go. Now.”
You sob when you hear bullets go off, your husband having shot dead the attending physician left behind. He can’t afford to leave any extra witnesses.
“In-ho, please think about this. How will you take care of her if you're in prison?” Your doctor asks as she follows behind him and pushes your wheelchair.
“I won't. You will. The city will. It's the law. As long as she's legally alive, she's a ward of the city and the city has to keep her alive and safe.”
“So I shall undergo countless operations and spend days or weeks in medically-induced comas only to wake up one day with you in prison or dead? A life alone isn't one that I want. There must be another way. Please, In-ho,” you beg him again to reconsider, but he doesn’t listen.
Holding your doctor at gunpoint in her car, he gives her directions and orders her to drive exactly where he tells her to go. You reach docks where a speedboat is waiting for you with masked and armed guards on board. He orders your doctor out of the car and to board the boat at gunpoint, then carefully lifts you into his arms bridal style and carries you onto the boat himself. You’re unconscious for most of the voyage, unable to bear the stress of the situation anymore, though it doesn’t take too long to get to your destination. Against your will, you’re taken to the island. You’re given the surgeries you need, the treatments and medications you need, etc. but despite the success of your operations and treatments, recovery still takes months. Most of it is spent on bedrest and In-ho is still hovering over you whenever he returns to your shared personal quarters, asking both you and your doctor how you’re faring, if you’re eating well and sleeping well, etc. as he comes to your bedside and rests his hand on your head to pet your hair and rub your cheek. You feel guilty that your doctor has been held captive alongside you all these months, kept by your side to attend your every need whenever In-ho is called away and can’t do it himself. You’re terrified of what might happen to her if you were to suddenly take a turn for the worst. It’s not rational, but you have a horrible sinking feeling in your gut that if anything involving you were to go wrong, In-ho would blame her, even if it’s something out of her control. And that he’d kill her if you were to die under her watch.
One day, when you’re alone, you confess to your doctor that she may be able to escape.
“I heard In-ho talking when he thought I was asleep. There’s speedboats and oxygen tanks docked on the coast of the island not far from here. If you hurry, you can take one and make it out before he gets back,” you plead to her.
“I'm not leaving you,” she insists, holding your hand to comfort you.
“This must be very stressful for you and your baby. And you’re almost due.”
“We're fine.”
“Could I have some water?” You ask instead, and she walks away to grab a glass and fill it with water from the sink. She hands it to you. “Thank you. You’ve heard him all these months. He's not a bad man at heart. You’ll get out of here alive, I promise. I’ll talk to In-ho. I’ll do everything in my power to make it so. If I’m not standing on the shoreline and waving you off as I watch you board a boat headed for home, then I’m not breathing at all.”
“Don’t talk like that. You’re going to be fine. The surgeries have been successes so far and your body has accepted the new organ with minimal issues. There have been no signs of rejection.”
“When you’re sent home, you have to tell them that he’s not a bad man. That he only wanted to save me because he loves me. Please.”
“I will.”
“And please tell them that I'm very sorry for my part in this. I saw the man that he was becoming and I did nothing. Because I loved him. You know what that's like, don't you?”
“I do.”
“Thank you. You've been very kind. Can you…would you mind if I ask… Have you picked out any names for your baby?”
You’re desperate to talk about something else, to think about something else. Something happy for her even if it’s bittersweet for you. You need a distraction from your current predicament. When she tells you about the baby’s gender (if she knows it) and the names she likes and has been considering, you smile and tell her about the names you highlighted in the baby name book you had at home. You’re not sure if you would’ve wanted to know the gender or be surprised. You talk about the dreams for the future you once had, whether you wanted your first to be a boy or girl, if you had a preference or not, etc.
During your recovery, your husband still acts as the Front Man for subsequent annual games and you’re kept in the dark. He’s in deeper than he was when he won the games. He’s now taken to arranging the games and acting as the Host following the original mastermind's death. He has continuously run the games for several years. It’s now 2024. Your doctor was set free and sent back home before her due date after all the precautions were taken to ensure she couldn’t find or disclose the location of the island, including having her being closely monitored by the pink guards, ready to shoot her dead and dispose of her body if she ever spoke out. But she’s kept quiet and gone along with the story that you and In-ho are dead, because of you. Because of you, she’s still alive and got to have her baby. And you? You’re still on the island. You understand that recovery for your condition could sometimes take more than a year, but you’ve been here nearly ten years. You can’t leave without his permission. You’ve tried more than once. Rather than tell you there’s no life for you to go back to since the world thinks you’re both dead, he keeps you here for so long by lying to you over and over and over. If he told you the truth, how could he admit to any of it without losing you? It’s his duty to protect you, the love of his life. Even if it’s painful. This relentless drive to get what he wants was apparent even before becoming the Front Man, as there were many self-help books on achieving one's desires in his old apartment.
But disruptions to his facilitation of the 36th iteration of the games have forced his hand to resort toward more drastic measures. As retaliation for Gi-hun's continued defiance against him for three years, he repeatedly tries to break him by forcing him to participate in the game. He joins the games specifically to break Gi-hun's spirit, and intentionally works his way into his inner circle, with no indication that he truly sees him as a friend, all to successfully sabotage his efforts to bring the game down by force. When Gi-hun's rebellion is successfully suppressed, the Front Man spares his life while personally ordering the execution of Jung-bae in front of him and telling him it’s the consequence of trying to play the hero. At the same time he’s undercover as a player, he’s still fulfilling his duties as your husband through proxy, having the pink guards give you whatever you need and keeping an eye on you so you don’t learn too much. He’s hidden the remote control he uses to watch the games on the big screen so you won’t know. But what if you’re stronger, smarter, and more resilient than you let on and manage to gather very valuable information by eavesdropping on In-ho’s conversations by feigning being asleep whenever he checks on you, sneaking away and stealthing around the building, etc., all to slowly discover the horrific truth your husband so desperately has kept hidden from you for the last ten years?
13. Like above with The Recruiter, a scenario very much like the Korean thriller movie “Addicted”. You’re the long time girlfriend of Jun-ho and get married. While he and In-ho are very different as people, and the only thing they really have in common is that they’re both cops, they are very close despite only being stepbrothers. You’ve also been very close to In-ho, though you always thought of your relationship as strictly friendly due to him being your brother-in-law and himself having a wife that you believe he loves. You’re there for In-ho and his wife when she gets sick and she views you as a sister not just because of your relation as sister-in-laws but because you’re always there to support her and do what you can to care for her and comfort her, from little things to big things, especially whenever In-ho is away due to his job. He and his wife can always count on you. You visit her more in the hospital than her own husband does. You’re the only other person besides In-ho to learn of her pregnancy and when she confides in you about it, she swears you to secrecy in case the worst happens. She tells you that in case she dies, she doesn’t want Jun-ho or his parents to know and feel even worse. In-ho tries to get you to talk to his wife, to try to convince her to change her mind and terminate the pregnancy, but she’s stubborn and won’t listen to anyone, not even you, despite your pleads that In-ho is only worried for her health and she can always try again after she’s better. Sometime in 2015, In-ho goes missing for a week. Neither you, Jun-ho, or his wife can get a hold of him. You’re all worried. You were always concerned for his safety while on the job and even his wife asked him not to be away from home so much anymore, but he’s just as stubborn as she was. You can understand that he needed more money to help her, but you grew concerned that he was putting himself at risk. And when she worsens and later succumbs to her acute cirrhosis, you’re devastated. Even more so when In-ho returns home and you have to break the news to him. You’re there for In-ho, taking him through the worst of his grief. In subsequent years, he asks you to go with him when he visits his wife’s grave on her death day to bring her fresh flowers, etc.
But then he goes missing again. For real this time.
Your husband becomes so obsessed with finding In-ho that he neglects you. You don’t divorce, but your marriage is deteriorating and while a part of you still loves him, the spark is slowly flickering out. You feel less like a wife and more like a single woman as time goes on. With a heavy heart, you carry on with your life and try to move on and find ways to be happy despite all the loss you’ve suffered. But your depression worsens when your husband stops coming home and stops answering your calls. It’s like he’s also vanished into thin air, exactly like In-ho. You can barely stand to be in your house anymore and often spend time outside or in hotels. One night, you have to hail a taxi when your car breaks down. The speeding taxi crashes into a black van, and while the driver is seriously injured, possibly even killed on impact, you’re only knocked unconscious with minor injuries.
Unbeknownst to you, this is a deliberate and orchestrated car crash, part of a plan to kidnap you and bring you to an unknown island. Under the Front Man’s orders, you’re sedated during the whole transportation process. You later wake up in an unfamiliar room, strapped down to a bed. You freak out, but freeze in shock when In-ho enters the room and comes to your bedside. He looks older, which is to be expected since you haven’t seen him in over five years, but it’s definitely him. He calms you down from your lashing out and panic attack, explaining the situation in a way that’ll keep you in the dark about what’s really going on but also serve his ulterior motives for why he brought you here. He takes care of you while you recover from the minor injuries you suffered in the collision, nothing major besides a concussion and a minor head wound and other scrapes and bruises. He tells you a fabricated but believable story about why he went missing, which includes that Jun-ho is dead, that he was shot and fell into the sea while on a job. To “prove it” he shows you doctored but eerily convincing confidential police files and death records from when that random body was found with Jun-ho’s ID on him. It was so damaged it was unrecognizable in pictures. With evidence in front of you, you have no choice but to believe In-ho and everything he tells you. Still, you’re devastated by this revelation. But he swears to take you through the worst of your grief, just like you did for him when his wife was sick and died.
Years go by of you living on the island, still kept in the dark. Could be through the use of drugs to make you disoriented and confused and blurring that edge of reality, gaslighting, and other manipulation tactics. When he does take you outside his private quarters to get some fresh air, it’s always brief and he stealthily knocks you out so you don’t get a full grasp of where you really are. You never know how you got there or how you got back. It’s so subtle you hardly notice and think you just fell asleep. You and In-ho eventually share a slow, emotional night together and have sex after the tearful revelation that you’ve fallen in love. You didn’t confess to him your feelings sooner because you felt so guilty due to being married to his brother even if he’s dead and you’re a widow now, and because In-ho’s wife was like your best friend. You felt awful for “stealing” her husband even though she died and he’s a widower who suffered the same loss you did. He helps you to overcome that guilt and you start to live life together as a happy and loving couple, despite the strange and unusual circumstances. In time, you become pregnant with In-ho’s child. One day you’re not feeling well, so you decide to go back to your private quarters to get some rest after he takes you outside for fresh air. While you’re there, a package addressed to In-ho arrives. You open it and find a necklace which you remember In-ho had given to his wife. You read the accompanying note from her, saying that she cannot wear this necklace anymore as it wasn’t meant for her and she cannot understand In-ho’s crazy love for you.
Frantic, you snoop around the other doors and find an underground chamber. You dig through In-ho’s secret workroom and find a number of hidden photos of yourself that were taken by him. You realize that In-ho had loved you before you married his brother and before he married his wife. You also find a notebook that In-ho wrote about loving you and being happy because he is able to watch you and live with you through his brother, Jun-ho. Through these secret documents, you discover your husband is possibly alive, having only been shot in the shoulder by In-ho himself and fallen into the sea. He lied to you just so that he could have you to himself. You were talking about getting married because you’re so in love and you thought it’s what Jun-ho and In-ho’s wife would want, at least for the sake of your unborn child. You were so happy mere hours ago and now, you’re crying sorrowfully. You don’t know what to do with the new information you’ve uncovered. Luckily, through some miracle, you’re not caught by In-ho. You put back everything exactly the way you found it as you’ve spent enough time in his personal office at home and remembered how he organizes his things, even down to which direction he sets down the phone receiver.
Do you take him aside and ask him various questions about his wife and where you are and when you can go home? Every time you tried in the past, he’d change the subject after giving you non-definite answers. Do you continue to pretend that Jun-ho is dead and you’ve moved on despite knowing the truth? You love In-ho and you know he loves you but this…this is much more than you could’ve ever imagined. You couldn’t have ever expected this. It’s been revealed that In-ho loved you even before Jun-ho, and had for the entire time you were with his brother. In-ho also confessed in a secret letter to Jun-ho that he’d never send that he made use of all of yours and his brother's secrets to "transform" himself into the perfect man for you. He tells his brother that you will forever love him as your husband. He apologizes and asks his brother never to forgive him for his deeds.
14. In-ho’s wife managed to successfully give birth to a healthy baby girl despite dying in the process. That baby girl is you, born sometime in 2015. When In-ho returned home and went to the hospital his wife was staying in after winning the 28th annual squid games, he received the bittersweet news that his wife was dead, having died in childbirth, but that you, his baby daughter, was alive and would be fine. You were either being kept in the hospital still or staying with Jun-ho and his parents. When he saw you and held you for the first time, he almost didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to set you down or let you out of his sight. He gave you the name his wife picked. It’s now 2024 and you’re eight or nine years old. What would your life be like? Would In-ho take you with him to the island from infancy to keep you safe and under his watchful eye while he acts as Front Man/Host for the squid games because you’re the last living piece of his wife that he has and he doesn’t want to ever lose you or miss out on any milestone in your life? What would it be like, effectively being kept prisoner on the island but kept in the dark and oblivious about what he does? Having no real friends to play with except maybe the Pink Guards who are under strict orders to play with you or keep an eye on you? Or would he leave you to be raised by his parents and Jun-ho? Or would he keep your existence secret from Jun-ho and his parents and come up with a secret third option that entails you having a normal-ish life with other “family” of his that he personally arranged, but he visits you or sends you messages on a very special encrypted phone or through the mail through mysterious envelopes without return addresses on them whenever he can, even if it’s at the most random of times? Would you know he’s your father from the beginning or would you learn this fact later in life?
OR
For a darker and more fucked up version: What if Jun-hee isn’t the first heavily pregnant player to compete in the games? Sometime during his years working as the Front Man and overseeing the games, he kept a close eye on a heavily pregnant contestant. After she was shot and killed for failing a game (the guard responsible making sure to avoid her stomach and shoot her in the head), her body was quickly loaded up into a box and taken away. The guards working in the morgue only had about ten minutes if they wanted to save the baby growing inside her. And they were under clear and strict orders by The Front Man to do so. A post-mortem c-section was performed and, when they cut her open, they pulled out a crying and screaming baby girl. The baby was cleaned up and checked by the doctor stationed on the island, then wrapped in a blanket and handed over to the Front Man per his orders/request. And that’s how you came to be his daughter. He’s your father now. And as far as you’ll ever know, he’s your biological father who solely raised you after your mother, his wife, died in childbirth from complications of acute cirrhosis of the liver.
15. Being in a poly relationship with the Front Man and The Recruiter would include? I don’t know any specific plot ideas exactly or how you got to be their personal whore/toy, but just imagine being a sugar baby or lover to both of these men that are two different flavors of DILF. You’re given everything from clothes, lingerie, and jewelry to a car and a house, as well as all the money you could ever need to pay for whatever it is you need - college tuition, medical bills, etc., even if it’s not for you but for one of your loved ones. In exchange, you’re on call for whenever either or both of them are in need of you and your services. You do whatever they ask of you, no matter what it is. Doesn’t matter what time it is, you go to them whenever they call. (Or maybe The Recruiter would go so far as to having a key to your house and letting himself in through the door or through a window, without giving you prior warning he’s coming. He comes whenever he feels like it. Could be any time of the day. And if you’re not home when he gets there, he’ll call you and tell you to get your cute ass home. Now. Then he’ll make himself comfortable in your house while he’s waiting for you. But you know that the longer you make him wait, the worse your punishment will be. Maybe a stipulation to having the house is leaving the doors and windows unlocked. If it’s late at night, he’d just sneak into your bedroom while you’re asleep and rouse you awake by going down on you or something. Classic Somnophilia.)
You either drive to them yourself or a car and/or a boat is waiting for you to be picked up. Imagine being squeezed in between these men like a sandwich or being in an Eiffel Tower with them, whether or not either or both of them are covered in blood from shooting players. (They wouldn’t care if you were on your monthly cycle. If anything, your blood would turn them on even more.) Imagine getting fucked on the hood of or inside the white limousine. Imagine them taking turns to watch while the other one fucks you. Imagine them turning fucking you into all kinds of thrilling and borderline dangerous sex games along the same vein of the actual squid games. Like they tell you do something under a time limit and if you fail and the timer runs out, they won’t kill you, but they’ll punish you sexually. And sometimes their punishments are so intense they make you wish you were dead because being denied your orgasms over and over and over is a special kind of torture and the coiling in your gut from your building orgasm that’s unable to be released is almost unbearable. What if you’ve been at this “job” so long that it gets to a point where In-ho wants to give you a “raise” and get you pregnant because he wants a child after the death of his wife and their unborn child and he may or may not have a pregnancy kink?
That is all for now. Thank you for listening to my brainrot.
#the recruiter x reader#the salesman x reader#gong yoo x reader#hwang in ho x reader#the front man x reader#squid game x reader#squid game fanfic#squid game smut#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game s2#squid game spoilers#lee byung hun#gong yoo#squid game prompts#fic prompts#pls tag me if you’re inspired by these#I’d love to read it
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TINKER- Twisted Wonderland x Tinkerbell!Yuu/Fem!Reader Part 1
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・Being a fairy like [Name] was definitely not for the faint-hearted. Fortunately, [Name] managed to hold her own. She was always seen as the smallest and weakest in the family, the one who seemed to drag everyone down. Her creative ideas were often brushed off in a family that preferred to stick to tradition. That’s why when Peter, a boy their age, actually showed interest in what she had to say, [Name] couldn’t help but latch onto him. Wherever Peter went, [Name] was usually right there, trailing behind. That is, until Wendy and her little brothers decided to tag along. At first, [Name] didn’t mind too much, but Wendy just had to make it worse by throwing some not-so-subtle flirts Peter's way.
So there they were, sitting by a tree, doing their usual thing. [Name] was tinkering with an old watch, John and Michael were play-fighting with wooden swords, and Peter had just given Wendy a beautiful sapphire pendant he found. “He’s given me a prettier pendant anyway,” [Name] thought, biting her lip as they focused harder on the watch.
“Oh Peter, I’m so happy I think I could give you a kiss!” Wendy exclaimed.
That was it. [Name] shot up from her spot, their wings jingling as they fluttered in a mix of anger and disbelief. A pale glow around them turned fiery red. Peter wouldn’t really go for that, would he?
“What’s a kiss?” he asked, genuinely curious.
“Well... I’ll show you!” Wendy said, leaning in.
Before she could land a peck on Peter’s lips, [Name] swooped in, grabbing Wendy by the hair and yanking her backward. Peter swatted at [Name] like she were just a pesky fly, which would’ve stung if it wasn’t for the fact that they were fighting for their life up in the air.
“What’s the matter with you, [Name]?!” Peter shouted.
With arms crossed defiantly, [Name] replied, “What’s the matter with me?! I’ll tell you what the matter is! It’s her!” She turned their back on Peter, fuming.
“Then leave! I hereby banish you… forever!” Peter announced dramatically.
Whipping their head around, [Name] gritted her teeth, feeling her size shrink as they flew away.
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That was the last time [Name] saw Peter. Time passed, and she grew older, still has a bit of a loose temper but definitely more mature. If she got accepted into NRC, they would be picked up tonight. Despite her parents' disapproval due to the family’s belief of everyone filling their designated role in the village , [Name] couldn’t bear the thought of being stuck in the village all her life —not after all the work she put in. She stuffed every piece of clothing she might need into their bag, feeling her eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment. Yawning, she trudged over to her flower bed, snuggling into the soft petals and slowly drifting off to sleep.
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[Name] jolted awake, her wings twitching in what felt like confinement. Wait... why were their wings trapped? She felt around and tumbled out of a coffin onto the cold floor.
“Nyah?!”
Suddenly, a flash of blue fire and a mop of black hair caught her attention. “I better hurry up and find that uniform before someone spots me... Urgh, this lid weighs a ton! Try this on for size! Mya-ha!”
Fire?! What in the Sevens was going on? [Name] turned to see a boy with black hair. Strangely, she sensed no magic from him, which was pretty unusual for a magic school.
“Now to grab the goods... What?! You two aren't supposed to be awake!”
“A talking weasel?! Two?” The boy blinked, noticing the glittering fairy wings and petite stature of the girl behind him. As he reached out to touch the wings, [Name] slapped his hand away with an angry jingle. “Don’t touch,” she reprimanded.
How surreal was this dream? The boy thought, rubbing his hand to ease the sting.
“How... HOW DARE YOU! I’m no WEASEL! I’m Grim, sorcerer extraordinaire!”
“You don’t look so extraordinary,” [Name] shot back, a smirk forming.
“Tch. Whatever. You... Fly! Just give me your uniform, and be quick about it! More specifically, you insect!” Grim pointed at [Name] with his paw. “I bet I can fit your clothes! If you don’t... you’re gonna regret it!”
Insect? Please, [Name] was taller than this little pest by a long shot. Anger and embarrassment flushed their face.
“Getting slapped by a fairy and roasted alive by a weasel? What will I dream of next?”
“Well, keep dreamin', 'cause I ain't no weasel!”
Sure...
“Where am I?” the black-haired boy asked, looking around.
Now that was odd. Either this guy was slow or from another planet. Even in her small village of Fairy Hallow, people knew about prestigious schools like NRC.
"Foolish human! Did you really think you could slip away from ME? Unless you want to get burned to a crisp, take off that—Me-YEOW! That hurt! What gives?”
A whip seemingly from nowhere hit “the extraordinary Grim.” You’d have to be crazy to think [Name] wouldn’t seize this chance to get back at this little weasel for making fun of her height.
“Could the oh-so-powerful Grim not sense that?” [Name] snickered, the jingle of her wings adding salt to the wound.
“NYAH?! You!”
“Consider it tough love. Ah, I’ve found you two at last. Splendid! I trust you’re the new students for this year? My, were you children ever eager to make your debuts. And bringing a poorly trained familiar with you? That’s a clear violation of the school’s rules.”
“It’s not ours,” the duo said in unison.
“As if I’d serve some lowly human and an annoying fairy! Now lemme go!”
An irk mark appeared on [Name]’s forehead. The audacity of this cat was astonishing.
“Once I get my wand, I’ll—” the glow around [Name] began to turn red, but the headmaster cut them off. Maybe that was for the best; what she was about to say was definitely better left unsaid.
“Yes, yes. Rebellious familiars always say that. Do be quiet for a bit, won't you? Dear me. Of all the students I've dealt with, you two are the first with the audacity to open their own gate and step out of it. Does the very notion of patience elude you? No matter.” The older man scolded.
“Your orientation has already begun. Let us return to the Mirror Chamber.” As they walked, a question sparked within the boy.
“What do you mean by student...?”
“You awakened in a room full of gates, did you not? All the students here at the campus arrived by passing through such gates. Although typically—”
“You came through a coffin-shaped portal into Night Raven College, or NRC for short, a school for magic. The one leading us is the headmaster of the school,” [Name] interrupted, eager to explain. Leaning in closer, she whispered to the boy, “But I believe you don’t have any magic to attend, so you might be sent home.” The boy’s eyes widened slightly.
“Well said,” the headmaster praised, “But now is not the time for such prattle. You have a student orientation to attend! Go on, now. Make haste.”
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“Orientation and dorm assignments are done? All right, new students—let me be clear. At Heartslabyul House, I am the law. Break the rules, and it’s off with your head!” a boy with cherry-red hair proclaimed.
‘He’s probably going to be a dictator,’ [Name] muttered under her breath.
“Well, that ceremony was as boring as ever. I’m going back to the dorm. If you’re in Savanaclaw House, follow me,” yawned a male with lion ears.
‘It’s hardly even the afternoon yet.’
“New students! Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on your achievement. As dorm leader of Octavinelle House, I’m honored to support you in what I hope will be a fulfilling campus experience.”
“He looks shifty,” the black-haired boy remarked, appalled at [Name]’s bluntness. How could she be so casual about it?!
“Hey, does anyone know where the headmage went? He disappeared midway through the ceremony?” a striking boy asked his fellow dorm leaders.
“Some headmage he is,” a voice emitted from a tablet.
“Maybe he had a tummy ache?” one suggested.
“I most certainly did not!” He argued.
The Red-Headed Boy crossed his arms across his chest “Ah, speak of the devil.”
“If you must know, I was searching for the new students who failed to show for orientation. You two are the only ones yet to be assigned a dorm. Step up to the Dark Mirror, and be quick about it. I’ll watch your weasel.” Crowley explained to the House wardens.
[Name] was the first to step up, revealing her face to the mirror.
“State thy name,” commanded the mirror.
She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, “ [Name] Faye.”
“ Her soul is incredibly strong and unwavering. You hold immense potential, [Name] Faye. You’re perfect for Diasomnia.”
“Wait a minute… You’re a girl?!”
The room erupted into hushed whispers.
“What’s wrong with being a girl?” [Name] asked, her brows knitting together in confusion, placing her hands on her hips.
“The problem is that NRC is a BOYS SCHOOL. It’s completely inappropriate to have a girl surrounded by all these boys... I’ll have you sent home immediately.”
The fairy flinched at the man’s words. Perhaps her small village didn’t know everything about NRC, but it was too late for her to turn back now. She had to figure out a way to convince him to let her stay. [Name] gracefully stepped aside, giving the boy access to the mirror.
“State thy name,” the mirror repeated.
“Yuuken?” he replied, sounding more like a question than an answer. I mean, he had just been tossed into a random magic school without even knowing magic existed. For all he knew, this could be some bizarre fever dream.
“…The nature of your soul IS…….. unclear to me,” the mirror declared, and for a brief moment, silence enveloped the room.
“What did you just say?” the headmaster interjected, breaking the stillness.
“I sense no magical power from this one. Soundless. Colorless. Shapeless. Utterly vacant. Therefore, no dorm would be suitable.”
Yuuken winced at the mirror’s bluntness. Ouch, talk about harsh.
“Are you suggesting that the black carriage came to pick up someone who can’t even use magic? That’s ridiculous! The student selection process has never made a mistake in a century! How could this happen?”
Grim struggled against his restraints. “Mmmph! Nnnrgggh... ME! Let ME take this student’s place!”
“Not so fast, you hyperactive weasel!”
“Unlike that human, I can actually use magic! Let me be a student here! Watch, I’ll show you! My spells are the cat’s meow!” Grim inhaled deeply and let out a massive burst of fire from his mouth.
“I’m starting to think he’s more dragon than cat,” someone quipped.
“Is this really the time for jokes?!” Yuuken shouted in panic as flames engulfed the mirror hall.
“Everyone, get down!” warned the red-haired boy.
The boy with red eyes and white hair flailed his arms like a maniac. “AHHHHH! HELP! I’m on fire over here!”
“Stop, drop, and roll!” *[Name]* laughed, nearly doubling over as she wheezed. Yuuken sweat-dropped, catching the girl in his arms as she struggled to breathe. How could she find this funny? Finally, she gathered herself and flicked her wrist toward the flaming boy, sprinkling some fairy dust on his burning robe, instantly extinguishing the flames. A proud jingle rang out as her wings fluttered. “Fairy dust fixes everything.”
“Someone catch that blasted animal before it sets the entire school on fire!” Crowley ordered.
“Can I leave now, or…?” the lion boy groaned.
“Oh? I thought you fancied yourself a hunter. Go and help yourself to that plump little morsel!” the blonde boy teased.
“Too much effort. You do it,” the beast man shot back.
“Allow me to handle this, Headmage Crowley. If none of you are capable of catching a little creature, I’ll take on the responsibility.” One dorm leader with glasses stepped up to the challenge.
“Check it out! See how strong I am?!” Grim cackled.
“How very bold of you to break the rules in my presence,” Riddle said sternly, glaring at Grim.
“Shall we make this quick, then, Riddle? I’m afraid we don’t have much time,” the boy with glasses smirked, gripping his magic pen.
“Must you take pleasure in playing with your prey, Azul?” Riddle sighed, pulling out his own magic pen.
“And here I thought we both enjoyed this sort of thing,” Azul feigned disappointment.
“Please, I’m not like you, so spare me your nonsense.”
Grim yelped, “Myah! It’s a dead end!”
“Poor thing. Did you run yourself straight into a corner?” Azul taunted, further trapping Grim.
“I suggest you give up. Otherwise…” the redhead threatened.
“NO! I’m getting into this school, and that’s FINAL!”
*[Name]* tilted her head, intrigued. She was enjoying this more than watching the Lost Boys squabble. A part of her felt sorry for the cat; he wanted to join the school just as much as she did.
“Stand aside, Azul!” Riddle commanded, pointing his magic pen at Grim, preparing to deliver the final blow.
“Off With Your Head!”
“What was that?” Yuuken asked, staring in awe at the collar around Grim’s neck.
“It’s a unique magic. A signature spell that only one mage can use. Its name is a bit gruesome, though…”
Yuuken nodded, understanding the girl’s explanation. “What’s your unique magic then?”
*[Name]* shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I only know the simple spells I’ve picked up from books. I’m more of an inventor than a mage.”
“The Queen of Heart's Rule 23: ‘One must never bring a cat to a formal affair.’ Your very presence here violates that order. You need to vacate these premises immediately,” Riddle quoted.
“Glad I’m not in his dorm,” *[Name]* muttered. She’d probably die trying to follow all those rules. She considered herself a free spirit, prone to unpredictable bursts of anger from time to time.
“Until I remove that collar, you won’t be able to use any magic. You’re nothing but a pet cat now,” Riddle taunted, a smug grin spreading across his face.
“M-meoWHAT?! I’m nobody’s pet—NOTHING!” Grim stepped back, raising his paws defensively.
“Oh, you have nothing to worry about there. I have no intention of keeping you as a pet. The collar will disappear once you leave campus.”
“Ha-HA! Good show as always, Riddle. Your signature spell nullifies any magic. It’s quite handy. I just HAVE to respect it—ah, I mean, I just have to have respect for it.”
*[Name]* shot Azul a side-eye. No point in trying to cover up what he just said; everyone heard it.
“*[Name]*! Was I not clear that you’re expected to take responsibility for your familiar? Now discipline your—What’s that? It isn’t yours?” Crowley chastised her.
“It’s not mine?! Why would you assume it’s mine?!” *[Name]*’s temper flared once more.
“Oh... Is that so?” Crowley said, sweat trickling down his face at her outburst. “Then I’ll have it expelled from campus. I’ll even spare it from being served for dinner. My, but I AM kind... Someone take this away, please.”
“Why doesn’t he just do it himself?” the fairy muttered under her breath.
“NOOOOO! Let me gooooo! You fools better remember my name! I’m going down in magic history! Just you wait!” Grim shouted, struggling against the students holding him. *[Name]* felt a twinge of sympathy for him. He must have a reason for wanting to stay here, just like she did.
“I wonder why he’s so desperate to be here?”
“Well, that was quite the unexpected spectacle. I hereby declare that orientation has concluded. Housewardens, please escort your students back to the dorms… Hm? Come to think of it, I don’t see Housewarden Draconia of House Diasomnia anywhere.”
“And that surprises you? The dude’s a total recluse.”
“Wait a sec... Did anyone even invite him?” the boy she saved from the fire asked.
“Ah. Just as I suspected. I thought I’d come down and see for myself if Malleus had shown up. But once again, he was evidently not informed that his presence was required at an official ceremony.” He shook his head in disappointment. Something told *[Name]* this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.
“You have my sincerest apologies. I assure you, this oversight was not intended as a slight,” Azul said, his tone insincere.
“I mean, you have to admit, he’s not exactly the easiest person to strike up a conversation with,” Riddle tried to justify.
“Never mind. All who were assigned to House Diasomnia, follow me. I just hope he doesn’t sulk about this.”
*[Name]* glanced at Yuuken from the corner of her eye, then tucked her wings behind her and pulled her hood up. She trailed behind the Diasomnia group, putting a finger to her lips in a shushing gesture. Yuuken’s eyes widened in disbelief at her antics. Did she really think she wouldn’t get caught? Especially with her glowing presence and the trail of fairy dust she left behind? He quickly turned his gaze back to the headmage, who had his back to him, facing the mirror.
“Well, Yuuken, *[Name]*. This is quite an unfortunate turn of events. I’m afraid you won’t be attending Night Raven College after all. Surely you realize that I can’t very well admit a student with no magical ability and a girl to my academy. But don’t worry. The Dark Mirror will see you home safely. Now, step into the gate and visualize the place you came from.”
The headmage turned around, only to find Yuuken standing there.
“Where did *[Name]* disappear to?”
Yuuken looked down at his feet, remembering how the girl had signaled him to keep quiet about her whereabouts. She must have had her reasons. “I’m not sure... I just want to go home.”
Crowley sighed. “I’ll deal with it tomorrow. Come along now.”
He actually believed it?!
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*[Name]* kept her head down to avoid drawing attention. It was dark outside in the Diasomnia dorm, making it easier to blend in, thankfully the ceremonial robe dulled her glow a bit.
The vice housewarden helped the new students settle into the dorm. *[Name]* stopped in front of her dorm’s door, sighing in relief for making it past all the staff and students. She turned the doorknob slowly, peeking inside. It was a four-person room. She was about to—
“Shoot.” *[Name]* cursed her luck and was about to turn around when someone came barreling up from behind her.
“MOVE!”
She jumped in shock. Why was he so loud?!
She stepped aside, allowing the boy to access the door while flicking some dust on his foot, causing him to trip and tumble upside down. Was everyone here like this? An “excuse me” would’ve been nice. She simmered with annoyance at the situation. *[Name]* huffed and walked away from the door.
“Excuse me? Are you going into the dorm?”
[Name] let out a startled scream, jumping at the sound of the voice, her light green wings flaring up in defense. She looked up and nearly fell back at the sight of a boy with dark pink eyes floating above her, staring straight into her soul.
“Looks like you snuck in…” the boy teased.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about—”
The boy began inspecting her wings. “Seems like you’re the girl from earlier… You do know this is an all-boys school, right?”
“You—”
“Lilia Vanrouge,” he introduced himself.
“Lilia… I really need to stay at this school,” [Name] broke character for once, desperation creeping into her voice. “I can’t go back home; I have nowhere…” Her eyes dropped as she fumbled with her fingers. Her wings twitched, lowering as if surrendering.
Lilia’s gaze softened slightly as he listened to her. “I won’t turn you in today, but if you want to stay, you should talk to Headmage Crowley.”
[Name] perked up at Lilia’s words. “Thank you! But where will I stay tonight?”
“Can you shrink?”
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[Name] nestled comfortably in an antique music box, tucked in with a small scrap of cloth. She watched as Lilia polished his weapon. In a way, it reminded her of the weapons Peter would describe in his stories.
“I wonder how he’s doing,” *[Name]* murmured in her native tongue.
“Who?” Lilia asked, curious.
“You can understand?!” Shock washed over her features.
He pointed to his ears, which resembled hers. They were pointed too!
“What kind of fae are you?”
“Nocturnal Fae. You must be a tinker fairy.”
[Name] zipped over to Lilia, circling around him. “Where are your wings?”
“Fu Fu Fu... Not all fae and fairies have wings,” he chuckled lightly.
“Oh…” [Name] yawned, pinching herself to stay awake. A comfortable silence settled between them, allowing [Name] to plop herself on the crown of Lilia’s head, drifting off to sleep.
#Twst wonderland#x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#Tinkerbell!Yuu✨#Twisted Wonderland#twst x reader#Fem!reader
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Picking you up
Picking you up out of the dirt, when he finds you by yourself between the trash behind a restaurant. Why not trusting him and getting a nice home and the warmth you’re looking for?
Pairing: Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Bunny (BunnyHybrid!Fem!Reader)
Wordcount: 2.855 Words
Warnings/Tags: Dark content, violence, homelessness, talking about punishments, abusive past relationship
Authors Note: Lloyd and Bunny were already mentioned in “Realisation”. So thought they could be introduced. Thanks to @holylulusworld @thezombieprostitute for letting me share all the thoughts with you.
Events: Fandom-Free Bingo: Book Edition [O1 | “That’s it sweetheart” | @fandom-free-bingo], Fandom Free Bingo: Gingerbread Edition [Alternates 2 | Regretting a wish | @fandom-free-bingo]
Masterlist | Sweet side of darkness (SSOD) Masterlist
The sun slowly goes down behind the buildings of the city, the sky painted in a beautiful orange-red color. There aren’t many people around anymore; most of them are sitting at their homes, probably at the table, eating and talking to their families.
A soft whimper escapes your lips when you look over the street toward the house you’re admiring every day. The little boy just went inside with his dad, the mother preparing everything for the dinner, while the sister’s laugh matches the one of the little boy once they are home.
It’s long ago that you had a moment like that, long ago that you felt the warmth and love of a family. After your ex and you moved in together, your family distanced themselves further and further — it may have been because your ex-boyfriend made sure to keep you just for himself and tell you lies about your family.
However, once they didn’t care any longer, he humiliated you in front of everyone; he cheated on you before he threw you out and left you to yourself on the street.
Now you’re living between the trash in a dark alley behind a restaurant. At least you get enough food every day. But the loneliness clawing at you more and more, the want to belong somewhere, to be loved as the one you are — as the hybrid — you are getting more present the more you watch the families laughing and interacting so lovely and happy with one another.
It’s only when the backdoor of the restaurant swings open that you turn your head to look at the scene. Your bunny ears swinging slightly — they aren’t too long to annoy you, but long enough to swing with every move you’re doing.
A man is thrown out of the door, slamming into the wall of the house opposite. Your eyes widen, and you try to push yourself further into the corner of the garbage can and the wall of the house.
Another man follows out of the door; he’s wearing tight white pants and an even tighter shirt that defines his well-trained muscles in his chest. He has short brown hair and a moustache perfectly framing his top lip.
The man with the white pants grins, a low, dark chuckle leaving his lips as he takes another step into the dark alley and toward the man who’s still pressed into the wall. “Good to see you here, sunshine. Thought I had to look more in the underground to find you.”
You notice the white pants man pulling something out of the back of his pants — a knife. You shriek; your eyes go even wider when his head turns to you and he looks you up and down. You immediately press your hands on your mouth, your bunny ears covering half of your face. Maybe he will ignore you; maybe you can tell him that you haven’t seen anything, mayb—.
“I’m sorry, pumpkin. You’re going to have some fun with Kemp; he loves having fun with bad boys. I have to do more important things,” the man in the white pants says to the other man. His expression shifts when the name ‘Kemp’ slips past the white pants man.
“Think you can steal our hybrids and sell them yourself?” Another voice comes from the exit of the restaurant. You only listen to them, still covering your face with your ears. The man whose name is probably Kemp and the man in the white pants have obviously been trafficking with hybrids, and it makes your stomach drop.
White pants man has seen you; will he get you and sell you too? You curl yourself further together, pushing as much as you can into the corner, and maybe the man isn’t interested in you then. You’re a dirty, homeless hybrid; they couldn’t make much money with you, could they?
“Hi, little bunny,” a voice coos; to your surprise, it sounds soft, and you dare to move your ears a bit to the side to peek through them. In front of you is the man with the right white pants; he’s kneeling down, and a smile curls up his lips. A smile that doesn’t look as sadistic as it used to be as he walked out of the restaurant. “You’re a shy little bunny?”
“Y-yes, sir,” you whimper, your hands still covering your mouth so your voice is still a bit muffled. Lloyd almost groans when you call him that; you’re so obedient. He nods; a flash of possessiveness is visible in his eyes before his expression turns soft once more. “P-please, I haven’t… I won’t tell anyone, sir.”
“I know you won’t, bunny,” Lloyd says with a now darkish grin once more. You’re shivering, your bunny ears covering your face once more. The white pants man chuckles low in his throat.
Lloyd waits already a while for his perfect hybrid, a girl that’s obedient but a little slut for him. His housewife and fuck toy, someone he can come home to and doesn’t have to be just sadistic but can also wrap one in his arms and just enjoy a nice movie night.
“Please, sir. I will be good,” you whimper once more behind your ears and hands. Fear growing in your body, and it shows in your trembling form and your hiding behavior.
“I know you will. Bunny?” Lloyd asks, his voice softer again but with an edge of dominance. You’re wondering how he can switch from terrifying to sweet within seconds. But as long as he keeps his soft side with you, you don’t mind him, right?
When Lloyd notices your ears moving again and allowing you to peek through them, he chuckles softly. You’re his perfect little bunny, sweet and shy, obedient, and if you’re not a little slutty girl yet, he will turn you into one.
“Did someone train you, Bunny? You’re such an obedient little girl,” he continues, keeping a bit of distance between the two of you. You nod softly, and your ears swing softly, causing a soft chuckle to escape Lloyd's plump lips. “Yeah? Who trained you?”
“M-my ex. H-he… He said if I’m bad… h-he would put me in the basement,” you reply, recalling the memories from years back where he threatened you whenever you didn’t do as you were told. You quickly learned your place; the spankings were rare but better than the darkness in the basement you feared so much. He knew; that’s why he used it to his advantage. He used to put you in the basement until you begged him, until you kissed his feet as an apology for disobeying. “I-it was so dark and cold in the basement…”
It’s ironic; you’re now living in the street, no matter if it was wet and cold or sunny and warm. You find security between garbage cans, and the only light source is the lamps that turned out at some point.
“Aww, little bunny, scared of the dark. Whatcha doing out here at this time then?” Lloyd asks, looking around at all the trash. It looks like a little sleeping place where you’re sitting, between some pizza boxes.
“I—I…” you mumble, interrupting yourself. You feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment. Your ears twitch, but this time, before you can cover your face once more, Lloyd brings his calloused hand to them and pushes them out of your face. You whimper, trying to hide yourself, but he keeps them behind your head with one hand.
“You, what, bunny? Don’t hide yourself when you’re talking to me; that’s not polite, is it?” He asks, his voice low but still soft. His grip around your ears tightens a bit when you stay quiet. It doesn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable, but it’s enough to make a point that he’s in control.
“I sleep here,” you whimper, your voice barely above a whisper. Lloyd nods; he knew it, but he wanted to hear it from you. Why else would a little bunny like you be in that dark alley between some garbage. And it underlines once more that you’re the perfect little girl for Lloyd.
Lloyd nods, getting up and turning his head to look at Steve and the other guy. Kemp has everything perfectly under control, the man pressed between him and the wall while he grins at him. Then, Lloyd turns back to you and grins. “Get up.”
Your eyes widen at the sudden demand and the change in his voice. The slightly soft edge in it is now the cold one he used before with the man. You back away, shaking your head slightly.
He narrows his eyes, the stare on you intense while the smirk fades from his lips. Lloyd reaches one of his calloused hands out to wrap it around both of your bunny ears and yank you up.
“I don’t like repeating myself,” he growls, the softness from before turned into a coldness. The grip around your ears tightens, and you whimper. “You were such a good little bunny, so why don’t you keep behaving like one for me, huh?”
“L-let go, please; I-it hurts,” you whine, keeping still to soothe the pain he’s causing with his tight grip around your ears. He chuckles, loosening his fingers a bit but holding your ears still firmly to make sure you obey.
Lloyd takes a step further into the dark alley and toward the other men, pulling you with him. You take a shaky step too, following him so he won’t pull your bunny ears again. You have the urge to stroke your ears, to make them feel better with soft touches, but you don’t dare to do anything Lloyd hasn’t asked for.
“S-sir,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. The man turns his head to you, looking down. You’re looking so small and vulnerable, your body shaking, and he growls low in his throat. He loves how tall and strong he is compared to you.
“Yes, bunny?” He asks, leading you further to the other men. Kemp has the other man still pressed against the wall but leans back and releases the other after a moment with a grin. You watch that man’s legs shaking and trying to steady himself with his hands against the wall behind him.
“Please, your grip is too tight around my bunny ears,” you say quietly, not wanting to upset Lloyd. He nods but doesn’t change his grip around your ears. He pulls you further through the dark alley. Your smaller steps cause him to pull your ears further; it almost looks like he enjoys your little cries and begs for him to release your bunny ears.
Lloyd stops next to Steve and the other man, pulling you to his side. He lets go of your ears, and you immediately back away from him. The man rolls his eyes, shaking his head slightly before he turns his attention back to Steve. “And?”
“He doesn’t want to talk… insisting on not having tried to steal our hybrids,” Steve answers, his hand firmly wrapped around the other man’s throat. Lloyd groans in annoyance, then he nods slowly. “Want to take him there? And the bunny too?”
“No, the bunny comes with me. But you,” Lloyd says with a sadistic smirk on his plump lips. He feels almost a bit disappointed that he misses the punishment of the man who tried to betray them, but he found you, his cute bunny, and he wants to take you home more than punishing that man. “You will have lots of fun with Steve. He will have lots of fun with our betrayer, won’t you, Kemp?”
Lloyd turns around to look through the dark alley, his eyes scanning every little inch of it. He rolls his eyes. You really think you can hide from him. With a nod he walks through the darkness, a sarcastic grin on his face the further he walks through it.
“Come out, come out, little bunny,” he says, his voice low as he looks at the place he first found you. But there’s no hint of you. Lloyd groans, frustrated; he doesn’t mind a good little game, but right now he’s not in a mood for that. “I’m gonna find you, and you won’t like it then. So you better come out now, bunny.”
There’s still no hint that you’re still in that alley, but luckily for him, you walked in the direction where a wall comes. So you can’t escape him even if he has to rummage through all the trash to find you — he will.
“I’m gonna count to three, and you better thank me for being so patient with your little disobedient ass, bunny,” Lloyd growls darkly, stepping further through the alley. He’s feeling satisfied that you disobey; as much as he loves your obedience, he loves the thought of training you even more. “One.”
He keeps walking; his steps echo through the darkness. You flinch with every thud of his expensive shoes. You push yourself further into the corner you are in, curling yourself together while you listen to his steps.
“Two, bunny,” he says loudly; there’s a hint of amusement in his voice, but you don’t trust it. He was sweet earlier, and then he turned mean; he can change his voice, but he’s still mean.
Lloyd’s steps get closer, but to your relief, he walks past where you’re hiding. A soft sigh escapes your lips, and you lean back a bit. You keep listening to him, waiting for him to walk further so you can get out of your hiding spot and run.
“Three,” he says, his voice suddenly so close, and you shriek when his face appears in front of yours. His blue eyes glistening with amusement as he reaches out to grab you — to your surprise — softly by your shoulder and pulls you out of the trash. “There you are, bunny.”
“P-please don’t hurt me,” you whimper, freezing in your spot when you notice his eyes wandering over your face. He takes in every little detail, enjoying himself. You’re shivering, and your legs shake so much that you feel like they give in and you fall down, but Lloyd wraps one of his thick arms around your waist and pulls you close to his chest.
His scent is sweet, still manly, and you feel yourself leaning into him a bit more. Lloyd smirked, his expression turning more soft again, and while he holds you close, he brings his other hand to your side, running it up and down.
“I’m not gonna hurt you, bunny,” he replies softly. ‘Not yet at least.’ Lloyd adds in his mind. He feels your nod against his broad chest, and he starts walking with you close to him back to the restaurant to get out home. “I just want you to be good, my obedient little bunny.”
You nod once more, pushing yourself further into Lloyd’s side while you walk toward where Kemp is still standing. He grins at you, nodding toward Lloyd as he grabs the other man — you don’t know about, except that he stole hybrids — by his neck and pushes him into the restaurant.
Lloyd leads you to the exit as well, stopping just before you walk in. “You have to be good now, bunny. Stay by my side and look down, get me?”
“Y-yes sir,” you mumble and look down. Lloyd smiles, satisfied with you obeying him, and takes your smaller hand in his. Then he pulls you with him into the restaurant. You hear some gasps, feel some eyes on you, but you do as you’re told and keep looking down. You squeeze Lloyd's hand until he strokes his thumb over the back of your hand to calm you down.
The walk through the restaurant isn’t too long, but with all eyes on you, you feel like it’s going on and on while you’re like a trophy. When you finally reach the door, you notice two big SUVs in front; your mouth drops open, and you look up to have a better look.
“That makes it two,” Lloyd says more to himself than to you. He pulls you to one of the cars, opening the back door for you to get in. “That’s going to be fun, my little bunny, a good old punishment for the disobedient little bunny you are.”
With that, he shuts the door of the car, and you notice a clicking. The door is locked, and there is no escape for you from that man anymore. You shiver; your eyes widen as you watch him get into the driver's seat. That sadistic smile back on his face when he sighs in satisfaction.
“No more disobedience, or I need to teach you manners. And you already deserve a good punishment for running from me and for lifting your head when I told you not to, didn’t I, bunny?” He asks, even though it wasn’t really an ask; it was more a statement. Lloyd leans further back in his seat and starts the engine, tuning in the music and humming softly to it.
Taglist: @rogersbarber @loki-laufeyson68 @etherealdisneyvillainness @winterschildren8 @pono-pura-vida @kimmie113080 @sergeantbarnessdoll @sebastianstanisahotmf @mercurial-chuckles @holylulusworld @randomawesomeperson102 @looking1016 @multiversefanfics @kpopgirlbtssvt @blackhawkfanatic @hisredheadedgoddess28 [add yourself]
#sweet side of darkness#Lloyd Hansen x Bunny#lloyd hansen x female yn#lloyd hansen x f!reader#lloyd hansen x you#dark!lloyd hansen x reader#dark!lloyd hansen#dark lloyd hansen#dark Lloyd Hansen x reader#lloyd hansen x y/n#lloyd hansen x reader#chris evans character x yn#chris evans character x fem reader#chris evans character x you#chris evans character x reader#chris evans character fanfiction#chris evans characters
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Christmas Crashing
I'm taking a break from my regularly scheduled Swayman programming for a different fic where I'm actually not mean with the ending????? Who would have thought I could do that
ANYWAY this is for @wyattjohnston's winter fic exchange, and I got to write for the absolutely amazing @laurenairay! We're ignoring that it's more than the week after Christmas but oh well
Also shoutout to @nicohischier for letting me yell about this and reading this while I scared her ily
Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, I actually gave you a happy ending?????
WC:8890
Flashbacks are in italics
______________________________________
“What are you saying?”
“That I’m done.”
“That we’re done,” he clarifies for her.
She can feel her chest start to tighten, a lump forming in her throat. “Yeah.”
Mimi hangs up without letting him get in another word, telling herself that she didn’t want to let him listen to the first sob that came out of her. She couldn’t read the text that he had sent trying to make sense of what just happened, telling her that he loved her and knew she loved him, that he wanted to figure this out and get through whatever was going on.
________________________
“You should totally post this photo,” Stella tells her, her mouth hanging open while she stared at Mimi’s phone screen.
“Are you sure?” Mimi leans over her friend's shoulder, trying to look at Stella’s handiwork. Mimi was facing the arena, the back of the jersey her mom got her for Christmas a couple of years ago on full display as she looked back over her shoulder, her ponytail covering part of Hischier’s name.
“Babe, you look so hot.” Stella opens up Mimi’s account, drafting up a post for her roommate.
Mimi tries to snatch the phone from her before she could do anything, her taller friend holding the phone over her head while people around them filter into the arena, probably thinking these two girls outside were acting ridiculous. They were, but that wasn’t going to stop Mimi.
Stella manages to get the picture posted, despite Mimi saying she wasn’t sure. “You look hot, shut up and let everyone see it.”
“You’re the worst.”
“And you love me anyway.”
They go into the game, Mimi ignoring the notifications that were coming up on her screen from Instagram despite the ego boost she denied they gave her. She could have spent the entire game on her phone, just scrolling through notifications and making her head bigger than it should be.
“So?” Stella asks after the first period when the two of them head to the concourse to get food. “Was I right?”
Mimi had her phone in her hand, showing Stella her screen and scrolling for what seemed like forever to the end of the notifications she had yet to open. “Fine.”
“Tell me I was right,” Stella gloats.
Mimi rolls her eyes. “This kind of shit is why I broke up with Sofia, if you remember.”
“You broke up with her because she was an awful girlfriend in general, not because she was right more often than you were.” Mimi ignores her, continuing to scroll through the notifications while Stella looks over her shoulder. “Wait, woah, go back.”
Mimi scrolls back down, waiting for Stella to tell her to stop. “There’s no way.”
Stella starts jumping up and down, trying not to bring too much attention to them this time. “Did he comment on your photo?”
“Did you tag him in the photo?”
Stella smirks. “There’s no harm in trying.”
“I can’t believe you.”
“What does it say?”
“No.”
“It has to say more than just, ‘no.’”
“No, I mean,” Mimi says, moving up in the line. “I’m not gonna read it here.”
“Why not?” Stella whines.
“What if he thinks the picture is weird to tag him in? I don’t want to see that while he’s literally on the ice,” she says in a hushed voice.
“What if he doesn’t?”
“I don’t want to read it.”
The game ends, Stella somehow gaining full control over Mimi’s phone as the two of them head out to a bar after a quick pit stop at home to change, despite Mimi’s protest for wanting to stay home and read her book instead. Her bed was right there, after all.
“Go do your thing,” Stella says, heading off to find a table for the two of them while Mimi tries to secure drinks.
“Hey,” Mimi approaches one guy, pulling out a trick that she got from one of her books. “Buy me a drink if I beat you at tic-tac-toe.”
The guy looks perplexed, agreeing while his friends root him on, Mimi grabbing a napkin from the bar counter and pulling a pen out of her bag. She normally won, considering the fact that the guys were normally too drunk by the time she got to them to think straight enough to play the game.
This time was no different. She won easily.
“What do you want?” the guy asks, his friends making fun of him for losing and putting him in a foul mood.
“Vodka Sour,” she asks for Stella’s drink.
She gets the drink and leaves before he can say or do anything else, heading back to Stella with her drink in hand.
“Free?”
“Free,” she confirms, seeing her phone in Stella’s hands. “What are you doing?”
Stella smirks, a facial expression that makes her nervous. “Nothing.”
Mimi nods. “I’m gonna try and find another guy.”
She heads back to the bar, scanning for another person she could get a drink from. She sees a guy talking to a friend, looking nervous. He looked sweet. Maybe she could actually talk to him and bring his friend over for Stella, too.
“Want to play tic-tac-toe?” she asks him, the guy looking like a deer in headlights. “Winner buys drinks?”
“I’ll play,” she hears behind her, the two guys eyes getting wide as they stare at the person. “Mimi, right?”
“Nico?”
He smiles at her, taking a step closer and reaching over her shoulder to grab a napkin. He brushes against her, sending a shock through her body. “Let’s play.”
________________________
Mimi gets to baggage claim, trying her best to ignore the fact that she was supposed to be here with Nico, not by herself, as she gets home for Christmas. He wasn’t even going to be with her for that long because of his schedule, but it was supposed to be something, at least. He knew Christmas was her favorite holiday, her favorite time of year, and instead of being with her like he was supposed to be, he was back in New Jersey.
“Emilia,” she hears her mom calling her name, way louder than she needed to be since there were only about five other people around the carousel, the airport surprisingly empty considering it was December 23rd. Her mother came running up to her, practically tackling her into the bags that were starting to roll around as her father sighed, grabbing Mimi’s bag.
“Where’s Gram?” Mimi asks. Every single time she came home, without fail, no matter what time of day it was, her grandmother was always there to see her when she got off the plane.
“She’s with Uncle Sam in New York for this Christmas, remember?” Mimi nods, not remembering the conversation her mother goes on to claim they had weeks ago. It was weird that her grandmother wasn’t there. “Where’s Nico?”
Mimi hesitates, another thing that was wrong. She hadn’t told her parents yet. She didn’t know how to. “His practice schedule changed at the last minute, so he had to stay back. He’s going to let me know later if he’s going to be able to come out here.”
Her father nods, incredibly indifferent. Despite how much he seemed to adore Nico, he would rather have less people around the house so he didn’t get overstimulated when he was cooking. More people meant more food he had to keep track of.
Her mother on the other hand. “Oh, no. He’s not coming? But we haven’t seen him in so long. What if we Facetime him, tell him we can pay for the ticket for him to come. Where’s your phone?”
Mimi swats off her mother’s hand, trying to follow her dad out to their car so she could go home and go to sleep. “Mother, money is not the problem, I promise. He can’t help his practice schedule,” she lies.
Her mother continues to fret, walking to the car going on and on about how she wished she had known so she didn’t spend all the extra time preparing for Mimi’s boyfriend to come home with her. Mimi lets out a sigh, climbing into the backseat as her father loads her bags into the trunk.
________________________
“Where are we going?” Mimi asks, climbing into Nico’s passenger seat once his car pulls to a stop in front of her building.
He smirks, leaning across the center console, giving her a kiss, one hand on the wheel with another cupping her face. “It’s a surprise.”
“That’s what someone would say before they dump the body,” Mimi jokes as Nico pulls away from the curb.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Mimi,” Nico groans, Mimi noticing the smile on his face regardless of his tone. They had been dating for about a month now, spending more time with him than she spent with Stella despite the fact they lived together. It wasn’t her fault; she couldn’t say no to him when he asked her to do something, no matter what it was.
Mimi shrugs, a teasing look on her face. “Think about it, it would be perfect to take me to some far off location to commit a felony when I have no idea where we’re going.”
“Stella has your location.”
“You could steal my phone.”
Nico rolls his eyes. “Mimi, I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Then where are we going?”
“Can’t I surprise you? Please?” he begs, his tone turning a little more serious.
She sighs, staring out the window as he drives away from the city in an attempt to hide the smile on her face. “I guess.”
The snow on the ground became more pristine the longer he drove, untouched and perfect as they got away from the more densely populated area they lived in. The trees lining the streets made her wish she lived out here, giving that illusion of serenity that you couldn’t get in the city.
Nico pulled off the road to follow a gravel path, lined with a wooden fence on either side, just barely wide enough for the car to fit down.
“This is definitely the perfect place for a murder,” Mimi jokes.
“Jeez,” Nico sighs. “We’re doing something fun.”
Mimi sees the sign in front of her as Nico starts to slow down, a Christmas tree farm in front of them. She looks at Nico, who was already staring at her with a smile on his face. “So?”
“We’re getting a tree?” Mimi said, feeling herself getting giddy as she unbuckled her seatbelt, practically jumping out of the car.
Nico joins her, taking his hand in hers and leading her closer to the plethora of trees in front of them. “You said you used to love going with your dad and cutting down the perfect tree when you were younger. These are pre-cut, but I figured you could help me pick out the perfect one for my place.”
________________________
“You already have the tree up?” Mimi asks, her heart dropping when she walks into her parents house, seeing what was supposed to be a tradition between her and her dad already there. They never got the tree this early. And they certainly never had it already decorated with lights.
“Mimi,” her mother starts as she beelines for the tree.
“It’s not even real.” Her mouth hangs open as she examines the fake, plastic monstrosity before her, the lights on the tree because it came prelit. “You got a fake tree.”
“Donohue retired.” Mimi stared at her dad, the sad look in his eyes mirroring her own. “There was nowhere to get a real tree this year.”
Mimi nods, knowing it was stupid to get upset over something so trivial, that feeling that something . “We still have all our ornaments, right?”
Her mother comes over to her, putting her arm around her daughter’s shoulders. “You think we could get rid of those?”
________________________
“What are you doing today?” Nico’s voice comes through Mimi’s phone.
“Nothing.”
“Now you’re not.” Mimi could hear his smile. “I’m picking you up in five minutes.”
Mimi hangs up without another word, rushing to get ready for him.
He knocks on her door moments later, coat in hand with plastic bags full of stuff there with him. “Hi,” he says, using his free hand to pull her in for a kiss.
“Hi.” She looks at the bags in his hands, trying to suss out why he had craft supplies with him. “What’s all this?”
“Well,” he starts, pushing past her and heading for her kitchen table, placing the bags down and starting to clear the surface off. “After we got my tree, I realized I don’t have anything to put on it.”
Mimi watches him taking out everything from the bags; paint, markers, stencils, scissors, paper, pipe cleaners; it looked like he raided the store purge style for everything you could possibly think of. “And?”
He organizes everything into piles in front of them, gesturing to his haul. “I thought we could make some ornaments together.”
Mimi laughs, her heart fluttering as Nico beams at her. “How good are you at arts and crafts?”
Nico smirks. “Horrible. You?”
“Awful.”
“Then this will be fun.”
________________________
“Hey, what time is Celeste getting here?” Mimi asks as she hangs up one her ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ Ornament as high as she could, something she has done every year since she could walk. Her sister was supposed to be getting in before she did if her memory served her correctly.
Her parents exchange looks behind her back, thinking Mimi didn’t catch them. “She got snowed in.”
“What?” she asks, nearly dropping the ornament her great-grandmother made. “So when is she going to get here?”
“The snow isn’t supposed to clear until tomorrow.”
“So she should be able to get here tomorrow, then?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?” Mimi screams. This was an overreaction on her part, but it was now the third thing that had been wrong with this Christmas, on top of Nico breaking up with her right before she was getting on the plane. “Celeste has to come to Christmas. Where else will she go?”
“She would be with Quinn and his family, I would assume,” her mother says, referring to her sister’s fiance.
Mimi just nods, knowing there was nothing she could do to control it. That didn’t mean she couldn’t still feel upset about it.
The rest of the day feels like a blur, a weird emptiness knowing her sister wasn’t going to be showing up like she was supposed to, her grandmother was spending Christmas on the other side of the country, and the tree wasn’t real like it had been for as long as she could remember.
That and she kept checking her phone, expecting a text from Nico to show up on her screen, despite the fact that he hadn’t texted her in weeks.
“Hey, Emilia,” her dad pulls her out of her trance, standing in front of her with the car keys. “Want to run out and grab some things with me?
________________________
“Stop bouncing your leg, you’re shaking the car,” Nico reaches over and presses down on Mimi’s thigh, trying to get her to stop.
“Sorry,” she mumbles, sinking further into his passenger seat. She looks out the window, snow everywhere, less and less cars on the road as they get to the cabin Nico’s friends rented out for the weekend. They had a rare break between games without so much as a practice (according to Nico, this was unheard of), so some of his friends took the opportunity to get away from home for a while and just relax somewhere else.
It looked like Nico was driving her into her death.
It was worse, actually. She had to meet new people and interact with them without anywhere to retreat.
“Our room is the only one on the top floor if they get to be too much,” Nico says, reading her mind. “They’re going to love you.”
They had just had the ‘what are we conversation,’ where Nico let her know that he considered her to be his girlfriend a while ago. Apparently, Nico’s entire team had been referring to Mimi as Nico’s girlfriend for the last month. It was time to actually meet them, and Mimi felt like she would rather run out into the wilderness and disappear with the bears.
Mimi lets out a deep breath as he turns down the road the GPS told him to turn down. This couldn’t be that bad, could it?
As soon Nico pulled up in front of the cabin, the car seemed to be surrounded by his teammates, screaming about god only knows what and opening every door despite not needing to.
“You said you were bringing the beer,” Luke whines.
“I did,” Nico deadpans. “You’re barely old enough to drink, calm down.”
“Luke, go back inside,”Jack says, reaching up and trying to mess with Luke’s hair. Luke stomps back inside, Mimi hearing him muttering something about being treated like a child. “He’ll be fine.”
“I told you not to bring him,” Nico says, handing his teammate the aforementioned case of beer. “He’s too young.”
“Ok, Dad,” he says, Nico rolling his eyes. “You know as well as I do that I couldn’t leave him home when all of us were here.”
Nico hands Mimi her bag from the trunk once she gets out of the car, taking her hand in his and leading her into the cabin. “That’s Jack and Luke.”
Mimi nods, recognizing them from long before she and Nico even started dating. Nico, for some reason, had a habit of forgetting that she actually knew the sport and the team well enough, growing up with her dad being a fan of them since they were in Kansas City and passing it onto her as they relocated to Devner, then to East Rutherford. She probably knew more about the Devils as a franchise because of her father than Nico did as captain.
They get inside, the heat hitting Mimi’s face. The inside of the cabin was beautiful, the walls entirely made of wood with light fixtures that looked like oil lamps attached to the walls. Thankfully, there were no dead animals stuck to the walls as she had feared, but a huge TV mounted in front of the couches, playing none other than an NHL game on the screen.
“There’s Dawson, Jesper, and Nate,” Nico points, the three guys waving to them.
Mimi pulls Nico aside. “I thought you said they were bringing their partners, too.”
Nico blinks at her. “None of them are seeing anyone.”
“So it’s just you, me, and your teammates?”
Nico nods. “Yeah, of course.”
Mimi nods slowly, biting the inside of her cheek. “I think I’m going to head up to our room.”
Mimi layed on the bed she and Nico were going to share in the cabin, trying to read while Nico and his teammates were screaming downstairs, clearly already drunk despite them only being there for two hours. This wasn’t how the weekend was supposed to go. She was supposed to meet his teammates and their partners as Nico had told her, so she wouldn’t be alone with the guys.
It’s not that she didn’t think she would have fun, it’s just not what she was expecting.
She hears a knock on the door as she stares up at the ceiling, her book laying facedown, open, on her chest. She was making no progress. Nico pokes his head in before she can say anything. “Can we talk?”
Mimi nods, sitting up and marking her place in her book.
“You’re mad at me.” Nico sits down on the bed by her feet.
She sighs. “I’m not mad.”
“But you aren’t happy with me.”
“I’m annoyed that you didn’t tell me what I was getting into this weekend.”
“What can I do to make it up to you?” Nico pleaded with her. The look on his face made her chest ache, knowing that he actually wanted to do that.
Mimi exhales. “Give me,” she hesitates. “Like an hour?”
“Ok.” Nico nods. She stares at him for a second, neither of them moving while the sound of his teammates laughter rings through the house. “Are you not going to go back down?”
“Not without you.”
“I’m just going to sit here and read,” she tells him, giving him a suspicious look.
Nico nods again, shifting to rest his back against the headboard, his arm raised for her to cuddle right into. “That’s fine.”
The two fell into a comfortable silence, Mimi feeling Nico’s eyes on her while she read her book. They stayed that way for two hours, just enough time for Mimi to think of herself as the character in the book falling in love with the man she was going to spend her life with.
________________________
The two of them drive in silence, Mimi not really caring where they were going. She keeps resisting the urge to check her phone, knowing that she would see her background instead of any notification she would actually care about.
“So, kid,” her father starts, pulling into the grocery store parking lot. “Nico isn’t coming, is he?”
Mimi looks out the window, pursing her lips and shaking her head. “No.”
“Are you two alright?”
“No.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
He parks the car, sitting there for a moment. “Ok. Let’s go in.”
“What are we doing here, anyway?” The two of them walk through the aisles, her dad pushing a carriage with the loudest wheel possible. He had a talent for picking out the most rickety one every time, somehow not caring and not getting annoyed as he shopped.
He starts pulling things from the shelves, ingredients Mimi recognized as being for her favorite ricotta cookies, the recipe that had been passed down through her family from her great-great-grandparents. “Mom thought it would be fun to make these again this year.”
Mimi smiles, looking at his cart to see what he still needed that she could grab. The last thing he needed, the most important ingredient, was the ricotta. She heads over to the cheese, scouring the case for the right one.
“Any luck?” her father appears behind her, seeing the frown on her face. She shakes her head, staring at the case. They had to have the ricotta. They couldn’t make ricotta cookies without it. Her father flags down an employee.
They shrug, shoving their hands in their jean pockets. “If it’s not out here, we must be out. The trucks haven’t been coming in with everything lately.”
Mimi looks at her dad as the employee stalks away. “What do we do?”
Her dad shrugs, staring at the cart. “We can check another store later, but I guess we can’t make them tonight.”
________________________
The first snowfall of the year happened abnormally early; in October, actually. The last time Mimi remembered an October snowstorm was around 2010, when she was eleven. That resulted in most of her life getting shut down for the week, but at least she didn’t have to go to school.
Mimi remembered staying in while her father cleared the driveway, her and Celeste sitting at the door near the back porch and staring towards the sky while the snow fell toward them, pretending that they were being transported to a different winter wonderland that wasn’t their backyard. Their mother would make mac and cheese and turn on a movie for Celeste while Mimi curled up on the couch, cuddling with her mother while she read whatever book she could get her hands on. The hot chocolate always came later, with extra marshmallows.
As she got older, it meant no school, then no work, but always snuggling on the couch under her warmest blanket, a movie playing in the background while she read with a mug of hot chocolate next to her.
She sits down on her couch, getting ready to spend the day not moving when someone is buzzing her apartment to come up, a text from Nico letting her know it was him.
“What are you doing here?” she asks when she opens her door.
He smiles at her, making her heart skip a beat as he bends down to kiss her. “Practice and the game got cancelled tonight, I thought I would stop by since your location said you were home.”
“Oh,” she lets out, cringing at the disappointment that she heard come through her voice. She watched Nico’s smile falter.
“Do you want me to go?”
Mimi looked out the window, watching the snow fall even harder than it had just mere minutes ago, Nico already covered in snow as it was. “No, no, it’s not safe for you.”
Nico nods, unsure what to do.
“I was just about to read my book,” Mimi says, taking his hand and leading him in.
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed. “I thought we could just kinda,” his voice trailed off, his eyes flicking back and forth between her and the hallway leading to her bedroom. “But that’s fine. You can read your book.”
“I do this every snow day,” Mimi tries not to whine, sitting down on her couch and clutching her book.
Nico exhales, nodding. “That’s fine,” he repeats, clearing his throat. “What else do you do?”
Nico sits down next to her, Mimi pulling her book closer to her chest. “I just,” she starts, feeling her heartbeat rising for no reason that she could think of.
“Hey, hey,” Nico coos, gently bringing her into his chest. He kissed the top of her head, one hand rubbing her back while the other rested on her lap. “I can leave. If you don’t want me here, I will leave. If it’s not safe to go I will just sit in the hallway.”
Mimi lets out a strangled laugh, picturing him playing games on his phone while he posted up outside her door, probably staying there until one of her neighbors ventured out of their place and called someone to come take away the man sitting outside an apartment he didn’t live in. “I put on a movie in the background and then just sit with my blanket and read it.”
“Can I join you?”
“You want to watch the movie or do you want a book?” Nico shifts, getting up and heading down the hall to her room. “That’s not an answer,” she calls after him.
He comes back, waving a book in his hands. “I’ll read and then if I get bored, I’ll fall back on the movie.”
Mimi stares at the book he picked, her heart swelling in her chest. “That’s my favorite book.”
“I know. That’s why I want to read it again.”
________________________
Mimi and her father finally get home, the one missing ingredient for some reason impossible to find and the remaining groceries unable to be left in the car for much longer without ruining them, too.
“I’ll head out in the morning again and see if I can find it,” her dad tries to reassure her when he pulls into the driveway.
She heads inside to her old room. Every little thing has gone wrong so far, it seemed, but why should it bother her? She was going to be with her family at Christmas, something she hadn’t really been able to do the last few years because of work. Her sister might not be here,or her grandmother, or her boyfriend, but still with her parents.
Her ex-boyfriend.
Staring at the walls of the room she grew up in, seeing the posters from the musicals that she was in when she was in middle school and high school taped above her bed, the game-day posters from the games she went to with her dad as a child surrounding her closet, the awards she won for various random clubs and activities she did in order to go to college where she did above her bookcase.
Mimi thinks back to her packing job, trying to remember what books she brought with her for the trip. She had the one she read while she was in the airport and on the plane, but she finished that right before her plane landed, putting that back in her bag and spending the rest of the time in the air logging the book rather than starting another one. Did she even bring another one?
She remembers plugging in her e-reader before she started packing, but did she ever unplug it and pack it? She texts Stella to check and unplug it so she doesn’t murder her prized possession while away.
“Mom,” Mimi yells, not waiting for any acknowledgement. “What books do you have?”
“Check our bedroom,” she hears, heading to the bookcase that’s against the wall.
“I’ve read all of these,” she yells back, trying not to let a whining tone come through her voice. And she actually had. Most of her parents were her old books that she had read that she gave to them, or that she bought separate copies of for them. The books her parents got on their own somehow found their way into Mimi’s hands, leaving her with nothing.
Her mom appears in the doorway, a concerned look on her face while she watches her daughter stare defeated at the books. She checks her watch, grabbing her wallet from her closet. “Take my library card and check out what you want. They’re still open for another hour or so.” Mimi takes the card and stares at it. She wasn’t even sure if this was allowed. Wasn’t it some sort of fraud to use someone else’s library card? “I have a book on hold, I’ll call them and let them know they can give it to you. Go.”
Mimi gets pushed out the door and handed the keys, faster than she can even process what was going on.
She hadn’t been inside her hometown library since she was in high school, everything still exactly the same except for the self check out computers they added for when the librarians were busy. They had set up a holiday book display, Mimi beelining there in hopes of finding anything that could potentially put her in a better mood.
Mimi picks up a book with two girls on the cover, some sapphic holiday romance that had been on her radar since October when someone she followed on social media had posted about it.
“Emilia?” She snaps away from the book to see a guy standing in front of her, someone who she swore looked familiar but couldn’t, for the life of her, remember why she knew him. “Niall Walsh.”
The guy she went to junior prom with. Shit, he looked good. “Of course, how are you?” she asks him, trying to sound enthusiastic about seeing him. She just needed to get books and go home.
“Good, good. You’re still out in New Jersey?”
They fall into a stupid conversation, Mimi trying to back away and find more books for her stay. She needed at least three to survive the holiday.
“A bunch of us are heading to the green later to skate, you should join us,” Niall offers, starting to list off people from high school Mimi hadn’t kept in touch with.
“That sounds so nice, but I’ve gotta help my mom with stuff for the holidays.”
Niall finally says goodbye with his books in hand, letting her know that she was still welcome to join if she had the time.
She didn’t want to go ice skating. It made her think of Nico.
________________________
“For fucks sake,” Mimi huffs, kicking the door open. “Next time we want to move, we’re not doing it in the middle of winter, and we aren’t doing it in the middle of your season.”
Nico laughs, getting up from the couch and grabbing the box from her. They had been together for over a year, finally making the decision to move in together. “Both of our leases were up and you would hate moving in the summer, too.”
“I’m somehow sweating and freezing. This is awful.”
“How many more boxes are in your car?”
“All my books.”
“There’s no way you fit all of those in your car.”
Mimi makes a face, taking Nico’s hand and dragging him back downstairs. “Stella might also be there with her car full of my books.”
Nico sighs with a lazy smile on his face, puts his arm around her and pulls her close as they walk outside and kisses the side of her head. “That’s my girl.”
“You have too many fucking books,” Stella mutters, opening her trunk. “I nearly died because I couldn’t see out my windows.”
“You were probably fine,” Nico deadpans, checking his phone. “Jack and Luke said they’ll be here in an hour with the truck.”
“You’re meeting them back at our place?”
“My place.”
“Your place.” The two stare at each other, the gravity of Mimi moving out just about to hit them.
Nico clears his throat, hoping to distract them long enough that they can have their moment inside rather than out on the street. “Let’s get these books inside before it gets dark out.”
The girls unload the cars, boxes upon boxes of books being brought up to the new apartment and placed haphazardly throughout the space.
“Where are all of these going, anyway?” Stella huffs, setting down a book that Mimi had labelled as ‘Fantasy,’ meaning that all of her biggest books were stuffed in there.
“We have the second bedroom that we’re turning into a reading space,” Nico says.
Stella nods. “Well,” she straightens her back, all of them feeling the pain of moving too many boxes. “I’m going to go back and meet the idiots for the rest.” She leaves before the girls can say anything else to each other, both of them avoiding the fact that they wouldn’t be living together anymore after nearly seven years. They were so close to having a common law marriage.
Mimi looks at Nico, staring at all the boxes scattered around them. “We have to unpack these.”
Nico smiles at her. “I have a better idea.”
Mimi eyes him curiously, watching him head to one of the closets that she still wasn’t sure held, Nico pulling things out. “Ice skates?” she asks, staring at the two pairs in his hands.
“There’s a pond that’s frozen over behind the building, we can take a break before it gets dark.”
“We’ve never gone skating before,” Mimi points out. “You don’t even know if I can.”
Nico hands her the pair meant for her, taking her hand and grabbing his keys as they head out. “You’re probably better than me.”
“Obviously. You’re pretty shit at skating, aren’t you?” she teases him.
Nico laughs. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
________________________
“Did you leave any books for other people?” her dad teases her when she comes back through the door.
“There’s still all the books written by Republicans.”
“Do they know how to write books?”
Mimi hears her mother scold him for that one, trying to stifle her own laugh so she isn’t scolded as well. “I have enough books for the time that I’m here. I think. Don’t worry.”
Mimi heads up to her room, flopping down on her bed with a book open in her hand. She didn’t need anyone else to be here for it to be Christmas for her. She could just be with her parents and whatever other family they had coming over this year.
She reads her book, a group of friends going to one of their parents' houses for the holidays because none of them have anywhere else to do until they realize that two of them were not only together previously, but one had left the other at the altar.
Mimi sits up straight on her bed, shutting the book as fast as she could. She had to stop going into books blind. Every time, without fail, they reminded her of the things that were going wrong in her life.
________________________
“When do we have to leave?” Nico asks, his arms wrapped around Mimi as they lay in bed, the snow falling outside and coating the window, his bare chest against hers.
Mimi hums, turning herself to nestle into his shoulder. She didn’t want to leave this moment. “Our flight is at noon.”
Mimi was heading home for Thanksgiving this year, bringing Nico home with her for the first time. Her parents had met him before, but this was her whole family now. They had been dating for two years at this point, living together for almost a year, and at this point, they both decided it was time to meet her family.
It was terrifying.
“Ugh, shit,” Nico groans, letting go of her and getting out of bed. “I need to shower, then.”
Mimi lays in their bed for a few moments, trying to fathom taking a boy home with her. Not just any boy, but the one she lived with, the one she loved.
One of the phones on the nightstand makes some noise, Mimi hearing the shower starting in the bathroom. She reaches over for the one lit up, not sure whose she was grabbing.
Her mom’s first name came up as the contact sending a message.
“Nico, my mom is texting you.”
She hears something fall in the shower. “You can just leave it,” he yells back, a weird tone in his voice.
Why would her mom be texting him? Normally, she texted both of them in a group chat that included her father, Celeste, and Quinn, regardless of who she actually needed to talk to. Her mom never even texted her separately, even on her birthday.
Mimi knew Nico’s passcode. She could just open his phone and look at what they were talking about.
But why would she do that? Mimi shook her head, putting the phone back on the nightstand and started to get ready, pushing the thought of Nico and her mom talking about something that she couldn’t know about from her mind every time it popped up.
They had to focus on finishing up the last of their packing and getting to the airport, which they had less than an hour to get to, at this point.
“Babe, hurry up,” she yells, throwing the last things they needed in their bags, Nico still in the bathroom fucking around. “We need to leave, like, five minutes ago.”
“I’m good, I’m ready,” he says, emerging from the bathroom, his hair still soaked. “And we have plenty of time before we need to leave.” He grabs his phone, Mimi seeing him open the text from her mom and a smile growing on his face.
________________________
Mimi finishes one book and quickly moves onto the next, losing track of time. The last thing she remembered, the SecUnit was freaking out about dying and not saving its humans.
Next thing she knows, it’s three am, her lights are still on, her book is still in her hand miraculously with her page saved by her finger, and something was making noise downstairs. Actually, someone.
Mimi practically launches herself out of bed, finding the kitchen lights on and her sister checking the fridge. “What the fuck?” she breathes out, grabbing Celeste into a hug.
“Hi, to you, too,” Celeste laughs, Quinn in the background going through cabinets. “We need food.”
“I thought your flight couldn’t come in?”
“Quinn here drove us.”
“From Vancouver?”
Quinn shrugs, the normal sullen look on his face made even worse from the exhaustion of the long drive. “Celeste had to get here.”
“Yeah,” she says, taking Mimi’s hand and leading her to the kitchen table. “How are you?” She had called her sister almost immediately after it happened to tell her.
“Good.” Celeste gives her that look that tells her she knows it’s a lie. “Fine.” Another look. Mimi sighs, letting out the words she hadn’t said out loud to anyone. “I miss him.”
________________________
Her family loved Nico.
Her little cousins flocked to him, her aunts and uncles raved about how easy he was to talk to. Celeste nearly drooled over him despite Quinn standing right next to him and her having seen him plenty of times on TV. Her parents, Mimi was sure, wished he was their actually child. They would trade Mimi for three mini cans of soda and a bag of corn chips if it meant Nico was their son.
Mimi was watching Nico play with her youngest cousin, Vivianna, as she showed Nico all the dolls she brought with her and told him about all of them in that high-pitched toddler babble she was probably going to have grown out of by Christmas. Her chest ached at the sight of his smile at Vivianna, finding herself daydreaming about him with their own kid one day.
“Hey,” her mom pulls her out of her trance. “Can you go grab my phone on my nightstand? It has the recipe for the mac and cheese and I need to take out the turkey in a second.”
“Got it.”
She heads upstairs to her parents room, finding the phone, an unread message notification from Nico from a couple of hours ago on the screen. She was looking for the recipe, not the messages. It was saved in her mother’s notes app, and that was all she needed to look for.
But her mom told her to get her phone. She could see the messages and then just ‘unread’ the one Nico had sent her.
No. That was crazy. What was she even worried about? Her mom and Nico haven’t some sort of illicit affair? That would never happen.
She shakes her head of the thought. She was going crazy over nothing. Mimi unlocks her mothers phone, expecting to find her home screen with all her apps, her notes app in the bottom left hand corner of the main dock.
Instead it opened right to Nico’s messages.
Mimi couldn’t help herself. She scrolls up to the last few messages, her mom for some reason either not replying to him or deleting all of her messages to him, leaving only what Nico sent.
It was links upon links of engagement rings.
And she hated every single one of them.
“Mimi,” her mother yells up the stairs. “Did you find my phone?”
Shit. “Yeah,” she sets the message back to being unread and pulls up the notes app just as her mom appears in the doorway. “Here, sorry. I grabbed Dad’s phone instead.”
Her mother eyes her suspiciously, looking at the other nightstand where the other phone sat. “No problem, let’s head back down stairs. Nico was looking for you.”
Nico.
________________________
“I think you should call him,” Celeste says, ignoring the fact that Quinn was falling asleep in the chair next to her. Actually, Mimi was sure that he was already asleep.
Mimi shakes her head. “He wanted to propose, to get married, to spend our lives together and he didn’t even know what kind of ring I liked? He doesn’t know me.”
“You’re an idiot,” Celeste sighs.
“You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“No, I’m supposed to call you out when you’re being a fucking dumbass.”
“What did I do wrong here?”
“Mimi, the ring is not important.” Celeste reaches across the table and takes her sister's hands. “You love Nico and he loves you. You guys talked about getting married, didn’t you? The ring can be changed, but if you wait too long, it might not be Nico who gives it to you.”
Before Mimi can respond, Quinn stirs and startles the sisters, shifting on the table. He sits up, his forehead bright red from where he was resting. “Can we go to bed?” he mumbles, his eyes still closed.
Celeste helps get him out of the chair. “Yeah, babe.” She leads him out of the kitchen, leaving Mimi sitting there by herself. “Maybe think about calling him tomorrow? Tell him what you saw on our mother’s phone and tell him you’re an idiot?”
Mimi laughed at her sister’s bluntness. She had been wanting to call Nico for the last few weeks since she broke up with him. Worst of all, she did it while he was on a road trip and took a bag of things out and back to Stella’s place. She never went and got all her things, all her books.
She heads up to her room, her phone flashing 4:00 am. She had to get to sleep if she wanted to be ready for whatever chaos her family brought with them when they got to their house the next afternoon.
________________________
Mimi was shaking, walking down the street with an overnight bag slung over her shoulder, heading to Stella’s.
Nico was away on a west coast road trip for over a week already, scheduled to come back the next day. She had been keeping him at arm's length since Thanksgiving, since the text messages to her mother. Everything felt weird, between them and Nico had no idea why. Mimi couldn’t talk to him.
Her phone was in her hand, Nico’s number typed from memory ready to call, all she had to do was press the green button. They had talked earlier that morning, when he woke up, but she couldn’t say anything to him.
She goes for it, knowing that she had to say something to him as to why she wasn’t at their apartment when he got home.
“Hey, babe,” he answers groggily after a couple of rings. Mimi takes the phone away from her ear, trying to figure out the time difference. He was at the end of his pre-game nap, just waking up. “What’s up?”
“I’m going to Stella’s.”
“Oh, ok,” she hears him say, the ruffling of sheets as he sits up. He yawns, Mimi able to picture him stretching as he does so. “Are you guys doing a girl’s night?”
“No, um, I’m going to move back in with her.” Nico doesn’t say anything, Mimi standing outside her old building, checking to see if the call dropped.
Nico finally clears his throat. “You’re what?”
Mimi could feel the tears coming, trying to hold them back. As soon as she started to cry, she knew he would hear it in her voice. “I can’t do this anymore, Nico.”
“What are you saying?” She hears him getting out of bed, shuffling around the hotel room. He was frantic, things falling over, Nico bumping into things, probably in a panic.
Mimi hesitates. “That I’m done.”
He stops. “That we’re done,” he clarifies for her.
She can feel her chest start to tighten, a lump forming in her throat. “Yeah.”
Mimi hangs up without letting him get in another word, telling herself that she didn’t want to let him listen to the first sob that came out of her. She couldn’t read the text that he had sent trying to make sense of what just happened, telling her that he loved her and knew she loved him, that he wanted to figure this out and get through whatever was going on.
Stella appears outside, holding the door open for her just as Mimi bursts into tears, bringing her friend in for a hug.
“What happened?”
Mimi can’t get a word out between her crying, feeling ridiculous for doing this on the street. Stella tries to console her, dragging her in the building. “You’re gonna be ok. Stay as long as you need. You’re heading to your parents in a few days, anyway.”
________________________
Mimi woke up to her mother standing over her like she was back in high school and had snoozed her alarm one too many times. “It’s almost noon, are you going to get up?”
“Ugh,” Mimi lets out, swearing in her mind. She jolts out of bed, trying to find all the clothes she had planned to wear that never managed to get unpacked from her bag.
“Everyone gets here in an hour.”
“I know, Mom.” Mimi nearly falls over trying to get her pants on, her mother just standing there watching.
“Anything from Nico?”
Mimi stops, her pajama top in one hand, the sweater she was planning on wearing in the other as she looks at the smirk her mom had on her face. “I just woke up and haven’t looked at my phone yet, I’m not sure.”
Her mother nods. “Just let us know if someone needs to go pick him up at the airport.” She leaves without another word.
Mimi shakes it off, whatever weirdness her mother gave off probably just from the normal anxiety that came with hosting their family for Christmas Eve. Both sides of the family showed up, which meant the most chaos possible for their family. She heads downstairs, going through the motions of helping her father get the food ready, setting the tables, trying to find the bag of toys that had somehow completely disappeared since Thanksgiving that they kept for the little ones.
The doorbell rings, Mimi hearing one of her aunts call that she was letting herself in as she always did, a container of gingerbread cookies with her to hand off to Mimi. The rest of the family starts to filter in, the entire house filled with talking, laughing, screaming, and everyone in a good mood.
Except for Mimi.
“You didn’t call him, did you?” Celeste pulls her aside.
Mimi shakes her head, taking out her phone since she knew Celeste would make her call him now anyway. She types in his number, pressing the call button without hesitating.
“It went right to voicemail.” Mimi knew the color drained from her face, her heart dropping to her stomach. Did he block her?
She tries to pull up his location, the last time his phone registering one being at Newark Airport around the same time Celeste got home. He couldn’t be travelling for hockey.
Celeste bites her lip, a concerned look on her face. “He’s probably just busy. His phone is off.”
“What if I can’t get him back?” Mimi felt like crying, again. She really fucked this up.
Celeste pulls her in for a hug. “Then we figure it out.”
The sisters are interrupted by one of their father’s brothers, yelling something about Quinn being too quiet for the family and how he was sure they would break him out of his shell. Celeste immediately leaves to try to save her boyfriend, Mimi laughing at the image of the poor boy panicking over the anxiety that their family could cause.
The doorbell rings, the rest of the family too loud for anyone but Mimi, who had happened to wander by the door on her way to the kitchen, to hear. She was sure everyone was already there, her mother not mentioning that anyone was going to be late.
She checks through the small window at the top, the angle of the glass distorting any good view of the person she could have. All Mimi could see was brown hair pacing back and forth on the front porch.
Mimi opens the door. “Nico?” Her heart swells as he stops pacing, pulling her in for a hug as she shuts the door, not wanting her family to hear any of their conversation. “What are you doing here?”
He pulls away from her slightly to look at her, his one hand still on her waist and he brushes her hair off her face with the other, tucking it behind her cheek. “You’ve been avoiding my calls, and my texts. Stella, Celeste, and Quinn have all called me or Jack or Luke trying to figure out what happened.”
She sighs, wanting to bury herself in his chest and forget everything ever happened. “I saw the rings you sent my mom.”
“And?”
“I hated them.”
“I knew you would.”
“What?”
Nico laughs, pulling her back into his chest. “I sent those to your mom because I knew at some point, your mom would ask you to pull up something on her phone for her, and I don’t want you knowing what you’re going to get when I do ask you.”
“When you do?”
“When I do ask you, it’ll be perfect for you.”
Mimi doesn’t say anything, pulling him in for a kiss instead. She could feel him smile against her lips, his hands tightening around her waist.
“I do have this for you, though,” Nico pulls away, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a small ring box. “It’s what I’m going to put your ring in.”
Mimi raises her eyebrow at him as he encourages her to open it. “What’s on the lining?” Nico smiles, Mimi staring at the lines and marks. “Holy shit.” Her eyes grow wide when the realization hits her.
“It’s our tic-tac-toe game from the night we met.”
Mimi hugs him, nuzzling his face against his shoulder, feeling his heartbeat as he holds her tight. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Hey, there you are,” Celeste interrupts, the door open with their entire family standing there watching. Mimi felt her face get hot as they all gave the two of them knowing looks. “Look who crashed Christmas.”
#winter fic exchange 2k25#nico hischier#nico hischier fic#new jersey devils#devils#devils fic#new jersey devils fic#hockey#hockey fic#nhl#nhl fic
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˚✧𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐏𝐭. 𝟏/𝟐✧˚
Synopsis: An alternate time where they lived as not tales to tell in the dark but actual, living people. Although, they're not much different from the tales... as they still are monsters that aren't afraid to kill to get or protect their beloved.
CW: Yandere tendancies, blood, stalking, slight body horror
A/N: I caved in after a long break. I mean, I couldn't not write a fic about Homicipher! I fell hard for these monster men🥰
Word Count: 5.4k
Characters: 🧡༻✧ Mr. Chopped [1.4k] 💜༻✧ Mr. Crawling [2.2k] 🧡༻✧ Mr. Gap [1.8k]
⋇⊰MR. CHOPPED⊱⋇
Haruto is hard to miss on campus. With his fiery ginger hair and boundless energy, he stood out in every crowd. At just eighteen, he acted more like a child than a college student, bounding around like a ball of energy.
He’d sprint up to classmates, pleading with them to join him in a game. The responses were always the same: excuses, polite rejections, or outright dismissals.
“Maybe later, Haruto.”
“I’m busy right now.”
“No thanks.”
Each rejection chipped away at his smile, but only for a moment. He’d bounce back, laughing off the rejection, and run off to find someone else. You admired his resilience even if you could see through the cracks in his ever-present grin.
There is only one person who occasionally humored his games: a tall, stoic student with silver hair. While Haruto seemed happy to have someone around, it's clear the other student barely tolerated his antics.
You’d watch from the sidelines as he desperately tried to engage the unwilling participant in an overly complicated game of tag or hide-and-seek around campus. Despite his efforts, it's obvious the games weren’t as fun when the enthusiasm isn’t mutual. Still, he carried on, his laughter ringing out like a challenge to the dull, routine college life.
Until now.
It' during your lunch break when you heard it: soft, muffled crying from one of the quieter corners of the library. The sound tugged at your chest, urging you to investigate. Rounding a shelf of dusty textbooks, you saw him.
Haruto, the campus’s eternal ball of sunshine, is crumpled on the floor, his knees pulled to his chest and his face buried in his arms. His usual vibrant energy is replaced with trembling shoulders and quiet sobs.
“Haruto…?” You called out gently.
His head snapped up, wide amber eyes locking onto yours. He hastily scrubbed at his face with his sleeve, forcing a shaky grin to replace the vulnerability you’d just witnessed.
“Oh, hey! W-What are you doing here?” He said, his voice betraying the attempt at cheer. “Looking f-for a book or something? I.. I-I could help!”
Concern swimming in your voice as you spoke, “I should be asking you that... Are you okay?”
“I’m fine! Totally fine!” He waved you off with a laugh that sounded more hollow than his usual bright tone. “Just… resting my eyes. You know how boring studying is!~” You tilted your head, unconvinced.
“...Hey, it’s okay to be upset. You don’t.. have to hide it from me.” Something in your voice seemed to anchor him, grounding him in a way he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in a long time.
Looking away, unable to meet your gaze, he managed to push out some words.
“I-It’s just…” he started, his voice breaking into a trembling whisper, “Nobody wants to play with me.” His fingers fidgeted in his lap, clutching at the hem of his uniform as if searching for some comfort.
“I get it… I really do. Everyone’s busy with their work, with exams, with their big, important futures... But—” His voice cracked, and he quickly swiped at the tears pooling in his amber eyes with his sleeve. “That doesn’t give them a reason to be so mean!” His words came out in a rush, raw and vulnerable. His gaze finally met yours, and your heart shattered.
He looked like a child left out in the rain—eyes wide, brimming with unshed tears, and filled with an innocence that felt too pure for this world.
You didn’t think it's possible for a person to express so much emotion, but he defied all expectations.
“I’m… sorry,” you murmured softly, unsure what else to say but desperate to soothe the ache in his voice.
“It’s not your fault,” he muttered, lowering his head again. “I just thought… maybe if I kept smiling, kept trying, someone would eventually want to have fun too. But…” His voice broke again as a single tear slid down his cheek.
Kneeling down beside him, your hand instinctively reaching out to brush away the tear tracing down his cheek.
“Why don’t we play?” You offered softly.
For a moment, he simply stared at you, searching your face as though trying to confirm that your words were real.
“You… you mean it?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he were scared you might change your mind.
“Of course,” you grinned. “What do you want to play?” The light in his eyes returned, brighter and brighter, until he's practically glowing.
He sat up straighter, his usual energy bubbling back to the surface, though tinged with disbelief.
“I—I don’t know! I wasn’t expecting anyone to actually say yes!” He laughed, and it is the first real laugh you’d heard from him all day. “We could—oh! Hide-and-seek? Or tag? Or maybe we could build a card tower! No, wait—do you know how to fold paper cranes?”
You couldn’t help but laugh along with him at his excitement infectious.
“Slow down, Haruto! We’ve got time, we can do whatever you want.”
His cheeks flushed a bright red, the warmth of his shy grin making your chest ache in the best way. He scratched the back of his neck, his fingers tangling in the messy strands of his orange hair.
“Hehe… sorry." Voice soft with an almost childlike sheepishness. “I’m just not used to being asked to play… or, well, being asked for anything at all, so I guess I got a little too excited.” He shrugged, glancing at the floor before his gaze flickered toward the clock hanging on the wall then back at you.
“How long’s your break?”
It had been a few weeks since that first encounter in the serenity of the library, where Haruto’s energy had melted, and you’d seen the hidden cracks in his endless joy.
Since then, your days had been peppered with moments spent together, from silly games in the courtyard to quiet talks on the campus benches.
You even met his peculiar silver-haired acquaintance, a stoic figure who always had this... smile in his pale features. The man struck you as strange yet you just dimissed it.
But of course, like him, you had your own life—friends, classes, and responsibilities that didn’t always align with his. Though you cherished the time you spent together, it isn’t always possible to hang out with him all the time.
Unbeknownst to you, he didn’t see it that way.
He didn’t care much for classes. If anything, they were an obstacle, stealing precious moments he could have spent with you. Whenever you weren’t around, his energy waned. It's as though your presence is the only thing keeping his world vibrant.
And when he did catch glimpses of you laughing with your friends during lunch or chatting in the halls.
His blood boiled.
Jealousy is an ugly, consuming thing. It twisted inside him, wrapping around his heart like sharp vines. His cheerful mask stayed firmly in place—he’d perfected it long ago—but beneath it, cracks were forming.
He couldn’t stand it.
That monster inside of him, the one he always kept at bay, clawed its way to the surface. He knew it's wrong, but the thought of you laughing with someone else, sharing the pieces of yourself that he craved, s unbearable.
So, when he saw your closest friend walking alone, his mind snapped. That friend had been stealing your attention, distracting you from him. They were the reason you weren’t his completely. And now... they were going to pay.
He followed silently, amber eyes locked onto their every movement. Like a predator stalking its prey, he kept his distance until the street grew quiet and deserted.
A rock lay nearby, jagged and heavy. He picked it up, gripping it tightly as his knuckles turned white. His breathing quickened and smile widened, stretching unnaturally across his face until it seemed like it might split his cheeks.
When your friend turned curious, he's already rushing forward, his figure a blur of orange and malice. They barely had time to register what's happening before the rock collided with a sickening crunch.
He didn’t stop.
Over and over, the rock came down, staining his hands and clothes as he laughed—a manic, broken sound that echoed in the empty street. Even when your friend’s features became unrecognizable, he didn’t pause. His smile never wavered.
This is for you.
When it's over, he let the rock drop from his bloodied hand, his chest heaving with exhilaration. He wiped his hands on his pants, smearing crimson streaks across the fabric, and looked up at the sky with a soft, almost serene expression.
“You’ll only have me in the end,” he whispered to himself, his voice dripping with quiet satisfaction. “I’ll be the only one you can turn to, the only one you can trust. My arms are the only place you belong… just like it should always be.”
⋇⊰MR. CRAWLING⊱⋇
Kaito—that is his name. One you’d only heard whispered during roll calls or by professors when pressed for an answer. Despite being in the same class for nearly half the semester, you’d barely noticed him—well, not entirely.
Tall and lanky, he looked like a shadow lingering at the edges of your vision. His pale complexion only added to the air of frailty around him, and the dark circles beneath his eyes gave him a perpetually exhausted. He's quiet, too quiet, always sitting alone with a notebook in hand, scribbling away.
Yet, you couldn’t ignore the way his soft, almost wistful smile lingered as he watched the groups of friends laughing together. You’d caught him sneaking glances at you once or twice as well, but each time you tried to meet his gaze, he quickly turned away, his face tinged with pink.
You felt bad for him. Maybe it's the loneliness in his eyes that mirrored your own.
Still, when it came time to pair up for a group assignment, Partners were chosen quickly, laughter and chatter filling the room as people paired up until only two remained.
It's to no surprise that he's left without a partner. Your own friends weren’t in this class, leaving you with little choice but to approach him.
He looked up then, his dark eyes meeting yours as you spoke, "Kaito... do you want to partner up?”
His eyes merely widened a bit and you had to stand in front of him for quite an awkwardly long time before he finally responding, "S-Sure.. it's just the two of us left, right?" True, whether either of you liked it or not, you have no choice.
Still, you wanted to ask him.
You sat on the chair beside him. Up close, you noticed the details you’d missed before—the small scars scattered near his eyes, the way his fingers kept fidgeting with his pen as though trying to mask his nervousness.
Opening your textbook, you placed it on the desk, while he quietly flipped to a fresh page in his notebook. The two of you started working in silence, diving into the labyrinth of symbols and translations required for the project.
It didn’t take long for you to realize that he is doing most of the heavy lifting. You tried to follow along, but the jumble of ancient symbols began to blur together, leaving you feeling overwhelmed.
“You’re really good at this,” you murmured, breaking the silence.
Your eyes stayed glued to the book, but you didn’t miss the way his hand froze mid-note. Slowly, he turned to look at you, his expression one of quiet disbelief, like he hadn’t expected to hear those words directed at him. A shaky smile crept across his lips.
“Th-Thank you,” he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re… doing well too.” You couldn’t help but laugh softly, shaking your head.
“Don’t lie. I’m just flipping pages while you’re the one doing all the real work.”
He chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck, “It’s not—”
“I mean, look at this!” You interrupted, gesturing to the maze of symbols on the page in front of you. “It all looks the same! How are you even making sense of it?” You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration, leaning back in your chair, distancing yourself from the headache-inducing text.
A faint, amused sound escaping his lips.
“I… I guess I’ve just always been good at patterns,” he said quietly.
His gaze lingered on you as you sighed in frustration, lips pursed and brows furrowed in concentration. There's something endearing about you and a hint of admiration flickered in his tired, dark eyes. Though he quickly looked away, pretending to refocus on the notebook in front of him.
His pen hovered over the page, his progress slowing. Deep down, he didn’t want to finish it. Each moment spent working with you felt precious, and the thought of the task ending meant the excuse to spend time together would be gone. But time had a cruel way of moving faster especially with someone you like.
The sharp ring of the bell shattered the quiet bubble the two of you had been working in. He blinked, the sound jarring him back to reality. He hadn’t realized how much he’d been smiling until it faded, replaced by a dull ache in his chest.
The teacher’s voice became a distant murmur, instructions about wrapping up barely registering. He didn’t move, still staring at the open notebook, feeling strangely hollow. That , until your voice cut through the fog.
“Hey, you good?” You asked, wrapping an arm around your book.
Kaito startled slightly, looking up at you.
“Oh, uh, yeah,” he stammered, quickly gathering his notebook and pen. “I just… spaced out, I guess. I-I do that uh.. quite a lot ahaha...”
“You sure?” Raising an eyebrow. “You’ve been staring at that page for, like, a solid minute. You were so super focused and all.” Your teasing smile made his cheeks flush a faint pink, and he ducked his head, trying to hide it.
"S-Sorry,” he mumbled.
You laughed, “Well, don’t let it get to you. But seriously, I don’t know how I would’ve survived this without you.”
His lips parting as though he wanted to say something, but the words caught in his throat. Instead, he nodded, clutching his notebook a little tighter.
“See you tomorrow?” You asked, pausing at the door.
“Y-Yeah,” he replied quickly, a little too eagerly.
You gave him one last smile before disappearing into the hallway, leaving him alone in the classroom. He stayed there for a moment, staring at the spot where you’d sat, his heart thudding in his chest.
Tomorrow. It isn’t much, but it' enough at least.
That conversation between you and Kaito replayed in his mind endlessly. For weeks, those stolen glances you two had shared across the room had been the highlight of his days, but now? Now he had something more—actual words, a connection, no matter how small.
But those interactions came at a cost. His nights grew restless, filled with vivid dreams and fantasies that left him feeling dazed when he woke up. He found himself longing for more moments with you.
Since the assignment brought you closer, he began to use your newfound acquaintance as a reason to linger near you. He’d sit beside you during breaks, his quiet presence soothing. He always seemed to know where you are, finding ways to cross paths with you after class.
You quickly realized that he is incredibly sweet. There is a warmth to his awkwardness that made it hard not to smile. He had this endearing habit of sticking close, always trailing behind you like a shadow, his tall frame somehow making his devotion seem both protective and.. puppy-like.
He also had a knack for being helpful. Whether it's explaining complex history topics, organizing your notes, or even packing your bag when you were running late, he always seemed eager to lighten your load. At lunch, he’d quietly take your empty tray without a word.
“You don’t have to do all this, you know,” you said one day, watching as he rearranged your books neatly into your bag.
“I know,” he replied softly, avoiding your gaze. “But I want to.” His sincerity always catch you off guard.
His eyes, dark and tired as they often seemed, held a vulnerability that made your heart ache. He isn’t just being kind—he's trying, in his own quiet way, to make himself indispensable to you.
And, little by little, it worked. You found yourself looking forward to his presence. But there is something about the way he always seemed to be there, watching, waiting, that would sent a chill up your spine.
You brushed it off, convincing yourself it was nothing. After all, he's just harmless, isn't he? Just a sweet, shy guy who wanted to help... right?
Well... the day came when your doubts turned into something far more tangible, far more terrifying.
It was a cold night, and the streets were empty as you made your way home. The air carried a biting chill that seeped into your bones and the dim streetlights cast long, eerie shadows across the pavement. Ever since you’d left your friend’s house, you’d felt it—a presence just out of sight.
You kept glancing over your shoulder but each time, the street behind you was empty. It’s just paranoia, you told yourself, shaking your head and quickening your pace. Yet, as you crossed an alleyway, the feeling became undeniable.
Before you could react, an arm wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you back into the shadows. Another hand clamped over your mouth, muffling the scream that tore from your throat. The furry fabric of their jacket brushed against your skin as you thrashed, but your attacker’s grip was unyielding.
You kicked and struggled, panic flooding your veins like ice, but it was no use. They were too strong. Then, amidst the sound of your muffled cries and your heart pounding in your ears, you heard a voice calling your name.
“[Name]!!” His voice was desperate, the footsteps quick and unsteady.
Your eyes widened as you spotted him at the mouth of the alleyway—Kaito. He was dressed entirely in black, a hood obscuring most of his features save for a glimpse of raven-black hair; the slightest bit of his eyes showing through the strands; and his slightly parted lips as he caught sight of you.
You tried to cry out, but your voice was trapped beneath the stranger’s hand.
The desperation in his expression hardened into something colder, something sharp and dangerous. His usual timid demeanor seemed to melt away as he stepped closer, his eyes locked onto the man holding you.
“Let them go,” he hissed.
The stranger only tightened their grip on you, a mocking laugh escaping their throat, “And what are you gonna do about it, kid?”
He didn’t respond. His dark eyes flicked to the trash can nearby, and before you could even register what he was planning, he grabbed the metal lid. With startling precision, he hurled it at the attacker.
A sickening crunch followed as the metal lid struck the stranger’s face. They yelped in pain, their grip on you loosening as they stumbled backward and crumpled to the ground. You staggered forward, gasping for air as you clutched your chest, your legs trembling beneath you.
But he wasn’t done.
He strode past you without a word, his shoulders tense, his movements deliberate.
“Kaito?” You called weakly, your voice shaking.
He didn’t acknowledge you. Instead, he knelt down, retrieving the trash can lid. His grip was firm, his knuckles white as he raised it high above his head.
You watched in horror as the first strike came down with a nauseating thud, the sound of metal meeting flesh reverberating in the narrow alleyway.
You flinched. Then another blow came, and another, each one more forceful, more brutal. The crunch of bone and the wet, sickening sound that followed made your stomach churn.
Your body refused to move. You stood there, shaking, your breath coming in shallow gasps as tears welled up in your eyes. The sounds—the violence—it was too much.
“Kaito!” You finally screamed, your voice breaking. “Please... stop!”
Finally, the onslaught ceased. The silence that followed was deafening, save for your ragged breathing and the faint clang as he let the blood-soaked lid slip from his hands.
His pale skin were stained with blood, his dark hair matted to his forehead. His wide eyes, bloodshot and wild, locked onto yours.
But what sent a cold shiver down your spine was the smile that crept across his face—a smile too wide, too unnatural.
He giggled, a soft, unsettling sound, and began walking toward you. Instinctively, you took a step back, but your foot caught on a loose rock. You stumbled, falling onto the cold pavement.
He stopped in front of you and knelt, bloodstained fingers brushing against his knees as he tilted his head to observe your frightened features.
“There’s no reason to be scared anymore,” he murmured, his voice soft and almost comforting if it were not with the situation. “I already dealt with it.”
His giggle returned, light and playful, like he hadn’t just done something horrifying.
“W-Why?” You choked out, your voice barely audible. “Why would you do that?!” Your mind raced with questions, a realization dawning on you. “Kaito… were you… w-were you follo—” Before you could finish, his blood-soaked finger trailed gently across your cheek, silencing you.
The sensation made your breath hitch, and he chuckled at your reaction.
“I was expecting a thank you, you know? Not questions...” He teased, his tone light and cheerful. Then, he placed his hand on top of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as he gently ruffled it. “Hehe! But you’re adorable! I think that’s enough…~”
You could only stare at him, your body trembling with fear and confusion. His grin never faltered, his eyes gleaming with twisted affection
As he stood, towering over you, he extended a hand. You didn't take it. You couldn't.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he pouted. "I'm not the bad guy here! You know that I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.” Perhaps those words were too literal.
It just seemed that no matter where you were, he’d always be crawling back to your side whether you like it or not.
⋇⊰MR. GAP⊱⋇
What an absolute jerk.
You couldn’t help but glare at the man standing in front of you, his pale skin making the dark circles under his eyes even more prominent. His wavy, medium-length raven hair framed his smug face, and that ever-present, arrogant grin made your blood boil.
“What’s the matter? Just going to stare at me? You want this book, right?” He teased, holding the textbook just out of reach.
His laughter was sharp, echoing in the quiet of the library. This guy, Sukima, was the worst. He was always around, always popping up when you least wanted him.
It was as if he lived to make your life just a little more inconvenient. Like right now—when the book you needed was on a high shelf, and just as you were about to grab the ladder, he appeared out of nowhere, snatching it before you could.
He did this constantly, not just to you, but to everyone. Most people had learned to avoid him, except for the new students who hadn’t yet seen through his charm. But for you and the others, his antics were old news. They had grown sick of him, and you were no different.
"Heeeey, my arm’s getting tired," he taunted, swinging the book playfully. "I might just put it back, unless you—"
Before he could finish that infuriating sentence, you swiftly kicked him in the groin, your foot connecting squarely with his vulnerable spot.
He let out a yelp of pain, doubling over and dropping the book. You caught it with ease, your eyes narrowing as you turned on your heel.
"Go mess with someone else," you spat, walking away without sparing him another glance.
You missed the way his grin faltered, replaced with a deep frown as he clutched his groin.
“That’s not very kind of you!” He called after you, his voice strained but still carrying that mocking tone as he tried to catch up. “I was doing you a favor, and this is the thanks I get?”
You rolled your eyes so hard it almost hurt.
“I’m not some new student you can mess with,” you retorted, marching toward the librarian’s desk to check out the book.
"Why do you always assume the worst of me?" He's tone shifted slightly, but you weren’t having any of it.
He always played these games, always tried to twist things in his favor but you weren’t falling for it.
"You act like an ass, Sukima," you said bluntly, handing the book to the librarian. "What else am I supposed to assume?"
He chuckled behind you, his voice taking on that playful lilt again, "Well, maybe I'm just misunderstood. Ever think of that?"
You didn’t even bother responding as you took the book back and started heading for the exit. Yet, of course, he wasn’t done.
"I’ll see you around, you know," he called after you, his grin returning as he leaned against a nearby bookshelf. "I’ll pop back again~"
You sighed, not sparing a glance back at him, "I’m sure you will..."
Thank the heavens he wasn’t in your classes. If he were, you’d surely lose your sanity. Still, that didn’t mean you could avoid him entirely. Somehow, he always found a way to cross your path. Whether it was coincidence or intentional, you couldn’t tell.
If he was teasing someone else and spotted you, he'd drop them like a bad habit and rush over. The pattern had become so obvious that other students started using you as a shield, calling your name whenever he begans bothering them.
“Hey, it’s [Name]!” Someone shouted from the other side of the courtyard, and dread sank in your stomach like a stone.
Against your better judgment, you turned around. Sure enough, there he was—his lanky frame looming over the wide-eyed freshman.
The moment he heard your name, though, his entire demeanor shifted. He straightened, a mischievous grin spreading across his face, and started toward you with open arms.
“[Naaaame]!~” He called out in an exaggerated tone, giggling as he approached. “It’s been forever, hasn’t it?”
You shot him a glare. “It’s been a day, Sukima. Piss off.” You sidestepped him just as he was about to pull you into one of his infamous, unwanted hugs.
His pout was almost comical.
“Aw, come ooon,” he whined, flipping a strand of hair out of his face with dramatic flair. “Such a sunny day, and you’re so grumpy. Honestly, I’m doing you a favor by gracing you with my presence. And for free, no less!”
You raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “You look like you crawled out of a sewer. I’m doing you a favor by tolerating you.”
His gasp was theatrical, as if you’d mortally wounded him, “How cruel!” He cried, clutching his chest.
You ignored him and brushed past, determined to get to class on time. But just as you moved forward, you collided with someone else, nearly losing your balance as books tumbled to the ground.
“Ah, shit, I’m so sorry!” You blurted, crouching to help gather the fallen books.
“N-No, it’s my fault,” the other student mumbled, kneeling to join you.
His bangs obscured most of his face, but you recognized him immediately—a quiet guy from one of your lectures.
“Hey, I know you,” you said, handing him a book. “And seriously, don’t apologize. I’m the one who wasn’t paying attention.”
He blinked at you, his cheeks turning faintly pink as he accepted the books.
“Th-Thank you,” he murmured, bowing slightly before hurrying off.
You smiled softly, watching him leave, only to feel Sukima’s presence looming behind you like a storm cloud.
“See?” You said, turning to face him. “That’s how it should be—an apology and a thank-you. Not ‘you owe me one.’” You rolled your eyes, brushing past him again.
He scoffed, his grin faltering as soon as you turned your back. His gaze flicked to the other student, now disappearing into the crowd, and his jaw tightened.
He’d caught the way that guy looked at you—the faint blush, the soft gratitude—and it made something ugly stir in his chest.
Sukima never cared much for classes. They were a tedious obligation, forced upon him by parents who still clung to the belief that he could make something of himself.
His grades were just enough to keep him afloat, a fact he took little pride in. So, skipping wasn’t a big deal—it just gave him more time to focus on things that truly piqued his interest. Like that student.
He leaned casually against the wall in the shadowy corner of the hallway, his dark eyes scanning the crowd as students began trickling out of their classrooms. He spotted him easily, the boy with the long bangs and timid demeanor, standing out in his gaze like a sore thumb.
The student moved with quiet purpose, pulling a striking red umbrella from his bag as he prepared to step into the rain.
He smirked. That color is disgusting, he thought, the brightness almost mocking his preference for muted tones. Still, he didn’t follow. Not yet. He had learned patience in these situations.
If you followed too closely, people noticed. And he hated being noticed when he didn’t want to be. The way students veered away from him in the hallways, their whispers trailing after him, only made it harder to move unnoticed.
The rain picked up, pattering against the windows as the student stepped outside, the crimson umbrella unfurling like a blooming flower. Sukima lingered just a moment longer, his smirk softening into something unreadable.
He wasn’t worried about losing sight of his target. He knew this town better than anyone—its alleyways, its shortcuts, its cracks.
This was his playground.
Pulling his hood up to shield himself from the rain, he slipped out a glass doors, taking a roundabout route to intersect with the student’s path.
The streets were quiet, save for the soft drumming of rain and the occasional splash of tires through puddles. His footsteps were nearly silent as he moved, weaving through narrow alleyways with practiced ease.
He didn’t need to see the red umbrella to know exactly where the student was.
His sharp gaze locked onto the crimson umbrella as he reached the end of the alley. The brightness of it against the dim, rainy backdrop only served to irritate him further.
Hidden in the shadows, he toyed with the flick knife in his hand, the blade glinting faintly in the dull light. Without hesitation, he surged forward, closing the gap between himself and the student.
The boy barely had time to react. Their eyes met—wide, terrified against Sukima’s predatory calm. The umbrella slipped from his grasp, forgotten as his hand shot out, gripping him by the throat and slamming him against the wet brick wall.
"W-Wait—" The student gasped, his voice strangled as Sukima’s grip tightened. "If it’s money you need! I-I have some! Please—just let me go!"
His dark chuckle echoed in the narrow alley.
"Money? Do I look like I give a damn about that?" He leaned closer, his breath cold against the student’s clammy skin. "No, no. I want you to leave [Name] alone. Permanently. Understand?" His words were laced with venom, his smile unnervingly wide.
The student’s face paled further.
Panic flickered in his eyes as he stammered, "O-Okay! I get it! I swear I’ll leave them alone!" He writhed in Sukima’s grasp, desperate to free himself.
His legs kicked, his hands clawed weakly at the arm pinning him, but Sukima barely flinched.
The struggle was almost pathetic. Though the student was taller, his frail build was no match for Sukima’s wiry strength. His grin twisted further, his satisfaction palpable as he effortlessly deflected the boy’s weak attempts at resistance.
"No, no, no." He shook his head mockingly, his grip tightening enough to make the student wheeze. "Words aren’t enough for me. I need… assurance." His gaze dropped to the student’s trembling arms. With a flick of his blade, the sharp edge caught the faint light once more. "You won’t be needing that, will you?"
The student’s eyes widened in horror as his intent became clear.
"W-Wait! No, please—!"
But he wasn’t listening. The blade moved swiftly, slicing into the student’s arm. The rain mixed with the crimson flow that seeped from the wound. The boy screamed, a piercing sound that echoed through the alley as the knife tore through flesh.
He met resistance at the bone, the blade catching on it with a sickening scrape. The student thrashed harder, his screams turning into ragged cries of pain. Blood coated Sukima’s hand, slick and hot, but his expression remained cold, focused.
"You’ll live," he muttered, his voice devoid of any real emotion. "But I doubt you’ll ever forget this." He pressed harder, forcing the blade deeper, until the student’s strength finally gave out.
His body slumped, but Sukima’s grip held him upright, ensuring the boy couldn’t collapse entirely.
He looked down on the atisfied, he let go abruptly, allowing the student to fall to the wet ground. He knelt briefly, his voice soft yet dripping with malice.
"Remember this pain every time you even think about [Name]. Next time, you'd lose more than an arm."
What Could've Been Pt. 2/2» [WIP] Request» Masterlist»
#homicipher#homicipher x reader#mr chopped head#mr chopped x reader#mr crawling#mr crawling x reader#mr gap#mr gap x reader
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Unspoken Words pt 3
Master List
Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, other characters
Warnings: fluff, mention of physical restraint, a little angst, child illness
A/N: Another collab story with @cheekygirl2309. This one is about a single mother with a nonverbal autistic daughter who loves Supernatural. The reader is going to a Supernatural Convention with her daughter and things unfold from there. The daughter character is near and dear to my heart. I have someone very close to me who is nonverbal, but he’s such an amazing kid.
This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Jensen is single in this story.
All work is my own and @cheekygirl2309, don’t take it or use it as your own. Reblogs and likes are appreciated.
Minors DNI 18+
Later that morning we got ready for the last day of the convention. Jensen ended up letting Lily keep his shirt because she refused to let it go. She wore it to the convention and was upset when I tried to take it.
Jensen knelt down, “Lily, do you like my shirt?” She smiled, but didn’t look at him. She gripped the shirt tighter. “Well, I tell ya what, you can keep it as long as I get to come visit you and it.” She smiled wider, “Jensen?” He chuckled, “Yeah, Jensen.” He kissed the top of her head and I stood smiling.
“I guess I have to keep coming around, visitation and all.” He smiled as he walked up to me. He placed a soft kiss on my lips before walking out to the stage. The handler with him softly gasped, looking between Jensen and I. We watched his panel from the back and Lily got a few more pictures with some of the cast. She clung to Jensen whenever he was around. He didn’t seem to mind, because he took her around to meet everyone like she was his. It made my heart swell. When it was time to leave Lily cried. Jensen held her tightly, “Hey, I promise I’ll see you tomorrow. Your mom is taking you to the park, and I’m gonna tag along.” She squealed, “Jensen play?” He nodded, “Yeah, I’m going to play.”
The end of the convention came faster than I wanted it to. Lily had an amazing time and it was the day of the first concert. Since I wouldn’t see Lily tonight I wanted to spend the day with her. I had already planned a trip to the park, and Jensen wanted to tag along. He wasn’t going to be able to stay all day with us since he had to go do his sound checks, but I was thankful he was coming even for a little bit.
Annie, Mrs. Jones was keeping Lily tonight, and I wanted to make sure Lily was calm and ready. So taking her to the park and having a picnic always seemed to calm her.
Jensen met us at the park and as soon as Lily saw Jensen she ran to him. ‘Mama, Jensen!” She threw her arms around him and grabbed my hand. “Hey Lily, hey sweetheart.” He leaned in and placed a kiss on my lips and one on the top of her head.
Lily giggled and ran towards the swings. “Well I guess we better go after her.” He said taking my hand in his. I looked down at my hand in his and then back to him. “Is this okay?” He asked softly. I nodded with a smile, “More than okay, Jensen. It’s perfect.”
We went to the swings and Jensen pushed Lily. Her legs swinging wildly and her giggles filling the air. I had never seen her react to anyone like she had with him. She was a totally different child with him around and it made my heart happy, but I was scared too.
What if whatever this is between Jensen and I didn’t work out. Was this just something to pass the time, or was this going to develop into something more.
I’d see the women he had dated, and I definitely didn’t look like them. Hell, I have extra weight all over, I like to eat and I’m not what most would consider gorgeous. Somehow he sees past all that and thinks I’m beautiful.
Jensen has a way of making me feel seen, wanted and desired. It scared the hell out of me. The last man that made me feel like that knocked me up and left me.
Now with Lily, I had to be extra careful who I let in our lives. She loved Jensen, I could already tell he was quickly becoming one of her people. I knew he and I had to have a conversation, but I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach it.
A little while later Lily was getting hungry, so I grabbed the blanket and basket and walked back to Lily and Jensen. They were running around playing tag and I set up the food.
Lily ran to me and sat down between Jensen and I. “Mama, eat. Please.” “Wow, she’s talking more and more. Jensen, this is incredible.” He placed his hand on mine, “Yeah it is.”
I handed Lily her food and picked at mine. Jensen was eating, then noticed I wasn’t. “Hey, you okay?” “Um, yeah. Just thinking about this, well, us.”
“Well, I’m all ears. What’s on your mind?”
“I just want to know where this is going. If it’s just a way to pass the time, I get it, but I can’t do that to Lily. If it’s something more I just need to know. I like you Jensen, I really do. I just can’t make decisions for myself anymore, Lily’s well being is my priority. Besides, you’re Jensen Ackles, and I’m well, me.”
Jensen sat his food down and cupped my face, “Y/N, I don’t want this to be just a way to pass the time. I want you, I want to be in Lily’s life. The other night when we kissed I felt something I hadn’t in a really long time. Being with you and Lily feels comfortable, like home. I know we have things we have to figure out, but I want to figure it out together.”
He leaned forward and kissed me. Soft at first and then his hands slipped in my hair and he deepened the kiss.
Jensen’s phone went off signaling it was time for him to leave. My heart sank. “Guess I need to go. I’ll see you later, sweetheart.” “Yeah, I’ll see you tonight. I can’t wait to see rockstar Jensen in action. He laughed, kissed me quickly and hugged Lily goodbye, then left.
A little while later Lily and I left to head home. I gave her a bath, got her packed and I took her to Annie. I kissed her goodbye and left to head home.
Walking in the house it was quiet. I jumped in the shower and got ready for the concert. I snapped a picture and sent it to Jensen.
Me: Almost ready. Can’t wait to see you. *1 image attached*
Jensen: Damn, sweetheart. You look incredible. I can’t wait to see you. Just a heads up, my parents are going to be there.
I swallowed hard. Did he want me to meet them? Should I say hello? Maybe he was telling me that because he was planning on keeping his distance. I took a deep breath, deciding to just let whatever unfold.
Me: That’s great they still come and support the things you do. I bet your mom is going to take a lot of pictures too.
Jensen: Oh I know she is. She’s always taking pictures of me.
Me: That’s what moms do. Let her be proud of her baby. She earned it.
Jensen 😀 yeah, she’s a great mom. Just like you. 😙
Me: 😊 thank you. See you soon.
Jensen: Be careful.
Sarah came and picked me up and we headed to the venue. The space was intimate, but I could feel the electricity in the air. I overheard a few people talking about Jensen’s parents being there, but I couldn’t figure out who they were talking about. I’d seen pictures of his parents, but that was years ago. I was sure they had changed some since the pictures.
I was standing near the bar with Sarah when I felt my phone buzz.
Jensen: Hey baby. You look amazing. We’re about to go on, I’ll see you after the concert.
Me: I can’t wait. Break a leg, Jens. ��
Sarah and I walked towards the stage and got pretty close. I was so excited and nervous as hell. The lights went down and the stage lights went on, the crowd roared.
Jensen and Steve took the stage with the rest of the band. Steve started talking, thanking everyone for being there. He and Jensen bantered back and forth and then started singing.
Jensen’s voice was smooth like whiskey. The crowd around me disappeared as I focused on him. He saw me, smiled and winked. I of course blushed. As I turned to talk to Sarah I saw Jensen’s mom off to the other side of the stage, taking pictures and videos. A smile spread across my face.
I took a picture of her and sent it to Jensen.
Me: *1 image sent* Now this is the face of an incredibly proud mother. ♥️
The concert was incredible and before I knew it Sarah and I were being ushered backstage.
We were shown to a room and before the door opened I heard Jensen’s voice. The man walking us back opened the door and Jensen saw me as soon as the door opened.
He jumped up, walked up to us and kissed me. Taking me by surprise. When we pulled apart everyone was staring. Jensen smirked, “Guess the cats out of the bag, guys, this is Y/N and her friend Sarah, Y/N, Sarah, this is everyone.” I nodded, blushed and said hello.
Steve immediately jumped up and pulled me into a hug, “So this is the woman who has captured this guy’s heart. I’ve heard so much about you and your daughter, Lily.” I hugged him back and looked over at Jensen who was smiling and blushing a little.
After Steve chatted with me for a bit, his attention turned to Sarah. The two of them sat on the couch talking while Jensen and I talked to some of the other band members. We talked to Angela and Sheree and they gushed over Lily’s pictures. Especially the ones with Jensen.
I told Jensen I needed to use the restroom, so he told me where it was. I stood and walked out of the room and down the hallway. As I got to the bathroom I noticed a man standing by the men’s room door.
I thought it was strange since the bar was closed, but I assumed he worked there.
I went into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later. The man was still standing there, and I made eye contact with him. “Hey sweetheart, what’s got you here so late?” “Oh, I’m just here with my boyfriend. He’s in the band.”
My heart hammered in my chest. I looked back towards the door, hoping someone would come out but I didn’t see anyone.
He stepped closer to me and I could smell the alcohol on him. “If you were my girlfriend I wouldn’t let a pretty thing like you out of my sight. Especially in a bar. Lots of bad things can happen.” As he said that he stepped closer, caging me between the wall and his arms.
“I really should get back. I’m sure he’s ready to leave.” I was terrified and didn’t know if I should scream or what to do. I stood frozen.
He grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him and he leaned in closer. Tears started to fall from my face. His hot breath blowing over my face and all I could think about was Jensen’s smile and how I wanted him to be here.
I tried to turn my face away, but he held it in place. The pain of his fingers gripping my face was becoming overwhelming.
He leaned closer and as he was about to kiss me the door to the room swung open. Jensen stepped out, looked up and saw me.
“Y/N!” I swear he flew down the hall. Within a second the man was pinned to the other wall and Sarah had me wrapped in her arms. I crumbled to the ground crying.
The bouncers of the bar grabbed the man and took him out, Jensen was by my side.
“Y/N, are you hurt? Oh baby. I’m so sorry. I should have gone with you. Shhh, you’re safe now. I’ve got you.” He held me tight. My fear started to melt away. I wrapped myself into his arms and held onto his shirt tightly.
He helped me up and we walked outside. Sarah walked out with our stuff, “Jensen, I think I should get her home. She’ll be okay. I won’t leave her alone tonight.”
He nodded, but didn’t let go. I wouldn’t let go either. “Sweetheart, let Sarah take you home. I’m gonna grab my stuff and I’ll be over, okay.” I nodded. Sarah helped me to the car, Jensen was loading his stuff as we pulled off.
Sarah held my hand the whole way to the house. “Y/N, I am so sorry. I should have gone with you. Are you okay?” I just nodded. “Sarah, it’s not your fault. We had no way of knowing what was going to happen. I’m okay.”
She just nodded. I knew she still blamed herself.
We pulled up at the house and we went inside. About 5 minutes later Jensen pulled up. I went to take a shower while Jensen and Sarah stayed in the living room.
“Sarah, is she okay? He didn’t do anything to her did he?” “She’s okay. No. I think he just grabbed her and tried to kiss her. We got to her in time.” He just nodded. His jaw tightened with rage, but his focus was me.
I heard their muffled voices, but couldn’t hear what they were saying. I knew they both blamed themselves.
I stood under the hot water, trying to clean the feeling of his hands off me. Nothing was washing away the memory. I cried and couldn’t stop crying. I slid down the wall and cried.
I felt like I failed Jensen by letting another man get that close to touch me. Me going to the bathroom alone was a stupid move. If Sarah had to go I would have gone with her.
Jensen and Sarah were sitting in the living room drinking and talking. Jensen’s leg nervously shook. He looked at his watch and realized I had been in the bathroom awhile.
Sarah noticed too. She placed her hand on his leg, “Hey, I’ll go check on her, okay?” He nodded, “Thanks, Sarah.”
She got up and walked to the bathroom, “Hey sweetie, are you okay in there?” I couldn’t answer. “Y/N, I’m coming in.” She pushed open the door and walked over, finding me crying. Reaching and turning off the water she grabbed a towel, “Oh sweetie.” She wrapped the towel around me and called for Jensen.
Jensen jumped up and ran to the bathroom. He saw me in tears and Sarah holding me. I looked at her and then at him. My voice barely a whisper, “I’m so sorry, Jensen.” He looked at me and then Sarah, “Sweetheart, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
They helped me to my room and Sarah grabbed me some clean clothes. Jensen sat on the bed holding me. I leaned into him, taking in his warmth and his scent.
“Sweetheart, I’m going to step out and let you change. I’ll be right back.” I nodded, but really didn’t want him to leave. Jensen stepped in the hallway with Sarah and I changed.
I opened the door and went straight into Jensen’s arms again. His arms pulled me in tight and held me. Sarah touched my arm, “sweetie, I’m going to the guest room if you need me. Jensen’s going to stay in here with you tonight, okay?” I looked at her and then at Jensen and nodded.
Jensen and I walked into my room, he pulled the blanket back and we crawled into bed. He snaked his arm around me and pulled me flush to his chest. He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head. “I’ve got you sweetheart. You’re safe. You’ll always be safe with me.”
Sleep quickly took over as I laid in Jensen’s arms.
*Slight time jump to the 2nd concert*
The night of the 2nd concert I was more aware of the surroundings. Jensen had Sarah and I close to the stage and would keep an eye on us. He had a bouncer near us the whole night.
The air conditioning in the building went out so it was extra hot in the building. Jensen was sweating but good lord did he look hot. I was completely mesmerized by him.
I felt my body responding to him, and it excited and terrified me. Last night when he held me, everything felt perfect. I was starting to fall for him fast.
The crowd was even more wild tonight and the way he looked, standing under the hot lights, hair damp from the sweat and his body glistening from the sweat trickling down his neck made my heart beat fast.
The fan on the stage blew his hair back and when he ran his fingers through his hair I felt my knees go weak. I bit my lip to stifle the moan leaving my mouth.
Sarah smirked and leaned over “He’s hot isn’t he.” I looked at her and smiled. I nodded yes. Jensen looked over at me and smiled and blew a kiss. I blushed. Sarah laughed, “That man has it bad for you.” I leaned over, “Yeah, I’ve got it bad for him too.”
Jensen and I looked at each other again and I could see the jolt of energy run through him. He bounced on his feet and danced around the stage. It was amazing watching him.
By the end of the night I was hot, sweaty and exhausted. Jensen kissed me good night. Our lips and hands lingered a bit longer than before. “I’ll call you tomorrow sweetheart, let me know when you have Lily. Maybe we can grab some lunch or I can come over.”
I nodded, “Okay. Good night, Jensen.” “Good night, darlin’.” He kissed me again and I got in the car. I sighed softly and Sarah smiled. “Y/N, I’m really happy for you. You deserve this. He’s a really great guy, and Steve isn’t half bad either.”
“Wait, what?” She smiled, “Yeah, we hit it off last night and exchanged numbers. We have a date Saturday night.” “Oh, Sarah. I’m so happy for you.” “Thanks, I would have never met him if it wasn’t for you. So, thank you.”
Sarah dropped me off and went home. I sent Jensen a text.
Me: Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got home safely, and did you know Sarah and Steve have a date?
Jensen: Glad you made it home safely. I just got home myself. Yeah. He just told me. He’s a great guy. I promise.
Me: He better be or I’ll have to beat him up.
Jensen: I bet you would too. I’m heading to the shower. I’ll see you and Lily later.
Me: Thanks for the image. 😉 I can’t wait to see you later. Lily is going to be so excited.
Jensen: You’re welcome darlin’, now get some sleep. Good night.
Me: Good night, Jensen.
I jumped in the shower and let my mind drift to the events of the past few days. Going to the convention and everything that’s happened has been a dream come true.
Jensen has been incredible and above everything Lily talking has been the greatest thing I could have ever asked for.
The next morning after I got ready I went to pick up Lily. She was excited to see me, but didn’t talk much. Annie said she did great, but she noticed Lily being a bit more reserved last night. “The first night she talked more, last night she seemed a bit off. I’m not sure if it was her missing you or missing someone else.”
I thanked her and took Lily home. She still had Jensen’s shirt around her and her stuffies he bought her. She wandered around the house looking for something.
“Lily, honey, are you okay?’’ She just kept walking around. Lily searched every room and when she came back to the living room she was upset.
“Lily, what are you looking for?” She just grunted. I reached for her and she felt hot. My first thought was the shirt so I tried to take it off of her.
She cried, “Okay baby you can keep it on. Are you looking for Jensen, honey?” Her big beautiful eyes flicked to mine, for the first time in a long time she made eye contact with me. “Jensen?”
“He’s at home baby, he’ll be by later.” She started to cry. My heart ached for her, “Baby, he had a late night. He said he’s coming by later to spend the afternoon with us.”
When I placed my hand on her face she was burning up. I grabbed the thermometer and she had a fever of 104.2, I grabbed her and my stuff and we headed to the hospital.
I tried to call Sarah, but it went right to voicemail. I panicked. I called the only other person I could think of, Jensen.
His groggy voice answered, “Hey sweetheart. Good morning.” “Jensen, I’m so sorry to wake you up, but it’s Lily.”
He sat straight up in bed, “What’s wrong?” I could hear his panic too, even though he was trying to stay calm.
“I’m heading to the hospital. Her temperature is over 104. I’m so scared.” “I’m on my way baby.”
He grabbed his clothes and bolted out the door, speeding towards the hospital. When he arrived at the emergency department he saw me and ran up to me, taking me and Lily in his arms.
She clung to him and cried. “Shh, I’m here baby girl. We’re going to get you better.”
The nurse called us back and they started hooking her up to the machines. Tears streamed down my face. The doctor did his examination and ordered some tests.
Jensen and I sat with Lily, he was holding her in his arms, and holding my hand. I had my other hand on her. She had finally drifted off to sleep in his arms after the medication they gave her to bring her fever down some.
The doctor came back a few hours later and told us all the tests came back normal. He wasn’t sure why her fever was so high but they wanted to keep her in the hospital for a few days just to be sure. We thanked him and he left.
We waited for them to transfer her to the pediatric floor. I sat and cried. Jensen held me, “It’s okay baby. She’s going to be fine. She’s in the best place she can be right now.”
“I know, I’m just scared. This is so hard.” He kissed my forehead, “I know baby. I messaged Steve and he and Sarah are bringing some food. You need to eat to keep up your strength. I’m going to run by your house and get some things for you, then run by mine. I’ll be back by the time she’s moved.”
“Jensen, you don’t have to come back, I know you’re busy.” “I want to come back, I’m not leaving you alone in this. You two mean too much to me.”
I nodded, he kissed me and then kissed Lily’s head. “I’ll be back, sweetheart.”
I sat holding my baby girl and thinking about the man who just walked out of the room. I couldn’t believe how incredibly lucky the two of us were to be loved by him. He didn’t have to say it, but I knew, because I felt the same way. I was falling deeper in love with him too.
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#hes gorgeous#so damn sexy#jensen ackles#jackles#jensen ackles x plus size reader#jensen ackles x reader
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✨Friday Kiss Tag 💋✨
Happy New Year everyone! Here’s to celebrating 2025 with so many kisses, romantic, plan tonic, familial love, and so much more! 💖✨
Here are the rules for the kiss and non-kiss tags 💋✨
Kiss rules: From your story/WIP, share a kiss. It can be any kiss, from familial pecks on the cheek, forehead kisses, platonic smooches, to full-blown makeouts ❤️
Non-kiss rules: Share a snippet of your writing! 💚
It may be a while before there is a kiss in ITROG, so for now please enjoy a nice smooch between Ali and Noah from my genie novel YWIMC 🧞♂️✨
Noah smiled. “I thought I couldn’t wish for true love….”
“….Noah, habibi….. ” Ali returned the smile. “…..we did that ourselves.”
Noah closed his eyes as Ali initiated a kiss, leaning in until their noses were nearly touching, and connecting their lips. The stars danced in their gently-closed eyes as Ali deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue past Cauldwell’s teeth to greet that gorgeous tongue. Noah moaned gently into the djinn’s mouth, shuddering, as his brow knit in sultry concentration and his arms wrapped around his lover’s broad neck.
✨ Your Wish Is My Command: Available Now on Archive Of Our Own and Amazon Kindle eBooks 🧞♂️✨
https://archiveofourown.org/works/60879541/chapters/155506264
I’m going to gently (no pressure) tag my tag list and leave the tag +open for anyone else who wishes to join! Have a wonderful weekend! 💫
✨👇Tag list for writing snippets below. DM me if you’d like to be added 👇✨
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#writeblr tag games#tag games#friday kiss tag#kiss tag#goldencomet💫#ywimc#genie slice of life novel#college life novel#magic in the mundane#and they were roommates#bl romance#romance books#romance writers#gay#genies#writers on tumblr#writeblr#writblr#writeblr community#writing community#ao3#writers on ao3#ao3 community#writers#writer#writing#books#authors#spilled ink
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Polaris – Chapter 12
Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.
Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader
Warnings: 18+, a heavy dose of angst, kidnapping, violence, injuries, serial killers, death, an awful cliffhanger
Word Count: 6.8k
A/N: Happy New Year, everyone! 🥳 We jump straight into 2025 with an angsty banger 👀
Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List
Chapter 12: Through
On one of the sunniest mornings Helena had seen in recent days, the peaceful quiet of the early risers in the Sheriff’s Department was disturbed by one restless sheriff.
Beau was taking his office apart – bit by bit, nail by nail, panel by panel, brick by brick.
The search for you had gone on all night and yielded zero results. You were nowhere to be found. For all Beau knew, you could be dead by now and buried in the vast woods of Montana.
A computer mouse flung against the wall and only missed Jenny’s head by an inch as the blonde peeked inside his office. The rest of the station had selected her to talk to the big boss, his outbursts even being heard from miles away.
“You okay?” Jenny checked carefully.
“I’m tryna find that stupid camera!”
“Thought you already found that hours ago,” Jenny noted with a raised brow.
“Can’t be too careful…” the sheriff murmured, his focus landing on the pile of pens on his desk. The silver one – had that always been there? He picked it up. “Does this look normal to you?”
Jenny only offered a shrug.
“Never mind,” Beau muttered and reduced the pen down to its individual parts. Nothing. Just a plain, old pen.
“Did you get some sleep?”
“What d’you think?”
At five in the morning, Beau had promised Jenny he’d snooze for half an hour on the couch in his office. He did lie down, stared at the suspended ceiling tiles for about a minute, and then remembered the damn camera.
It wasn’t just about what he had done in there but also about he’d said. No wonder Diane had gotten so easily under his skin. She probably had heard every insecurity he had ever uttered. To you. And to imaginary Randy.
How was he supposed to sleep in a place where he felt exploited, exposed, and unsafe?
“Well, uh, I just wanted to tell you that Randy went into Interrogation Room 2 with Diane…”
“WHAT?!”
“Yeah…” Jenny exhaled a deep sigh and leaned against the door frame. “He said you’d deputized him and authorized it, but I had a feeling that wasn’t true.”
Beau ran a hand across his face, rubbing his beard.
Rule #3: She’s my wife. I get to decide how we proceed.
Rule #4: You’re not the boss of me.
“Well, I did deputize him,” Beau admitted. He had given his former partner a long leash, not expecting he’d bolt through the backyard.
“Beau…” Jenny clearly didn’t approve.
“He left me no choice, alright?!”
Well, no choice his guilt could deal with.
The sheriff then left his destroyed office and thundered into Interrogation Room 2 down the hall. Randy wouldn’t get to do this alone. Beau knew there was an ulterior motive – if only Randy saved you, he could also miraculously save his marriage. Randy was a persistent motherfucker. He wouldn’t give up.
And if the roles were reversed, Beau wouldn’t either. He’d probably be even more annoyingly persistent than Randy.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Beau charged in with steam coming out of his ears. For a moment, his anger was so focused on his friend, he didn’t even notice the rising smile on Diane’s lips.
“Good morning, Sheriff Arlen.” Even if Diane’s voice sounded melodious, to Beau it was still chalk on board. “Remodeling the office, are we?”
“You mind?” Randy prompted stand-offishly, glancing up at the sheriff. “Kinda in the middle of something here.”
“Outside. Now,” was all Beau said.
Defiantly and miffed by the authoritative tone, Randy followed him to the hall.
“Play nice, boys!” Diane’s voice echoed through before the door fell into its lock.
“What d’you think you’re doing? You can’t just talk to our prime suspect without my presence!” Beau roared.
Randy rolled his eyes back. “Didn’t know I needed a babysitter…”
“This isn’t a game, Randy! We need to find Y/N before it’s too late,” Beau argued furiously. They didn’t have time for petty competitions.
“Yeah, which is why I’m talking to the only lead we have! That bitch knows where she is,” Randy countered with an equal amount of fury.
“She’s not gonna tell you!”
Randy only shrugged – cocky in nature and completely unlike him. And Beau then realized something that had changed: His friend wouldn’t back down anymore and bend. Those days were over, and it was probably Beau’s own fault.
“We’ll see,” Randy said stubbornly, his hand wandering back to the door handle. “You comin’?”
Beau inhaled and exhaled a deep breath before nodding – and back into the lion’s den they went.
Diane welcomed them with a sneer. “All made up?”
“Tell us where Turner took her,” Randy demanded with a stern expression and firm voice.
If Randy wanted to play bad cop, the role of good cop fell to Beau by default. And although they had never ever played it that way before, Beau figured Randy carried more anger than even him right now. He might as well let him make good use of it.
“Can’t.” Diane twitched her shoulders. “Hal doesn’t tell me.”
“Oh, and we’re just supposed to believe that?” Beau lifted a brow in mock. “C’mon, Diane…”
“It’s true,” she said, smiling. “Call it an insurance policy in case one of you Neanderthals decides to go rogue on me – looking at you specifically, Sheriff Arlen. If you leave your own partner to die in a filthy warehouse, I don’t wanna know what you do to your enemies.” She then looked at Randy, whispering behind her palm, “You know, I think he did it on purpose.”
Beau clicked his tongue and snorted humorlessly. “Alright, Diane, you’ve had your fun. You’ve wreaked havoc… You’ve won, okay? Fair and square. Just give up your partner, tell us where Y/N is, and end this once and for all. Might even get a better deal if you do. Think about it. Murdering an FBI agent doesn’t look good in front of a judge and jury. We have iron-clad proof you killed at least five people in Texas. Capital murder, death penalty… See where I’m going with this?”
“Oh, I’ve thought about it, Sheriff. And I’ve told you: I don’t know where she is now,” Diane reiterated with the same infuriating smile. Her gray eyes then wandered to a wall clock behind the men. “At least not yet.”
Randy and Beau both followed her gaze and stared at that same clock. Their eyes widened.
“Then when?” Randy prompted.
“Don’t worry. You’ll see her soon.” Diane smirked. “If she makes it out alive, she can tell you in person she’s choosing the rugged sheriff here over you, Detective Nichols.”
Randy’s jaw tightened, his fists clenching and unclenching under the metal table.
“I gave her a fighting chance.”
“Oh, you mean like the others?” Beau had known from the start that it would be useless talking to her.
“They all could’ve gotten out,” said Diane as if she blamed the victims for not being smarter and more durable. “‘Sides, why would I give up my favorite part? I’ve waited a while for this one. Killing her? While you two idiots watch helplessly and throw feces at each other like monkeys in a zoo? Gotta say, it’s better than killing twenty-four people combined. Ever since I met Deputy Popcorn, I’ve been actually craving a snack.” Upon Beau’s facial twitch, Diane leaned closer and whispered with a smirk, “Yeah, I know about the cute little nicknames for your deputies too, Sheriff. I wonder how many bugs you’ve found yet in your office. Sure it can’t be all of them. Maybe I’ve bugged the whole station. Who’s to say? Have you checked your trailer yet? The lovely agent’s motel room? No?”
Beau couldn’t pinpoint the exact feeling that clutched his heart and twisted it like a boa constrictor. Pain, fear, anger, sadness – a deadly cocktail for anyone. Was this throbbing sting in his chest what a heart attack felt like? Only recently, he’d read an article in the paper about a guy his age who just dropped dead. Was this it for him?
Would it mean he'd get to see you again, though?
“Enough of that!”
Randy’s voice rang in his ears, but Beau couldn’t refocus. He needed fresh air to breathe, his lungs dried up and clinging to every molecule like he’d been deprived of oxygen for days. The small room felt suddenly suffocating as the monster across from him sneered joyfully.
“Look, I don’t know if you’re saying all that horseshit ‘cause you wanna hurt him or me,” Randy said, his voice laced with a darkness Beau had never seen before.
“Little bit of both,” Diane teased with a shrug.
“Yeah, well, I don’t care either way,” Randy huffed, the deep creases in his brow casting threatening shadows on his face. “Do your worst to me or him. Hell, burn us at the stake if it makes you feel any better, sweetheart, but all I wanna know is where that bunker is. Where is she? Your beef’s clearly with us. Men, right? You know she doesn’t deserve this. Just let her go.”
Diane seemed unamused by the suggestion, leaning back in the metal chair. “You’re right. She doesn’t deserve this. I actually like her. She reminds me of me. But you two did this to her. It’s out of my hands at this point. You don’t deserve her, sheriff,” she said and looked at Beau before her cold eyes shifted to Randy. “Neither do you, detective. I know a lot of things – and not just about the sheriff here. I know what you did to her, too.”
Randy forced a tight smile. “You’re bluffing. I didn’t do anything.”
“Am I?” Diane quirked a brow and then sent him an innocent smile. “About four years ago, she wrote a rather lengthy email to her sister Sophia in Seattle. She seemed very upset. Said there was a little something you wouldn’t give her. Ring any bells?”
With a thick swallow and a glare swimming in his hazel eyes, Randy nodded. “We’re done here.”
Diane let out a long, suspenseful sigh, not bothering to engage further. Her icy heart wouldn’t melt. Her eyes flickered around the bleak, depressing room. “I miss windows. Haven’t seen the outside for days.”
“Yeah, and you ain’t gonna,” Beau huffed. He had quietly listened, his heart rate slowing down as his head started spinning with questions. You had never told him anything. He had never asked. It had been an unspoken rule to not talk about your marriage. Beau always figured knowing too much would only make it worse.
“Too bad. I always liked the autumn sunsets. When it gets dark sooner…” Diane then stretched out her neck. “Anyways, nice chatting with you boys, but it’s time for my beauty nap now. Which one of you two cowboys is gonna accompany me back to my cell, hm?”
The men shared a look and then wordlessly rose, leaving the room. In the safety of the hallway, Beau ran a hand over his face and took his first deep breath.
Air. Lungs. Brain. Without toxicity, he could finally think straight again.
“Well, this was pointless and a waste of our time. Happy now?” Beau huffed with his newfound lung capacity.
But Randy’s brow was furrowed. He was thinking. “Actually, yeah… Didn’t you hear what she said?”
“Yeah, bunch of narcissistic bullshit. She’s not gonna tell us where Y/N is,” Beau muttered bitterly. If possible, he wished to never converse with that psychotic witch again. There was only so much he could handle before snapping her neck.
“She said that she doesn’t know where Y/N is now,” Randy pointed out. “Maybe she wasn’t lying. Maybe Y/N’s not in the bunker yet. Turner might keep her somewhere else and wait till he can move her.”
“At sundown,” Beau mused, Diane’s words haunting his mind. “He’ll move her when it’s dark.”
“Which means we still have a couple hours to find her,” Randy finished the thought.
“Popcorn!” Beau yelled down the hallway. The sheriff found himself in better spirits. He hadn’t used a silly name for his most loyal deputy in days, although it ached a tiny bit to say it now. “Any properties in Newton’s name?”
“Yes, sir, several,” Mo replied.
“I need a list of all in the area. Get a team together and search ‘em. One by one,” Beau ordered. “Warehouses, cabins… Take it all apart. I don’t care.”
“And also see if any properties are in Hal Turner’s name and add them to the list,” Randy suggested.
Poppernak shot Beau a look, and only when the latter gave his agreement, did the deputy nod. “Yes, Sheriff Arlen.”
The obnoxiously loud sound of birds woke you from a deep slumber. Groggily, you pried your eyes open and found the first few beams of sunlight warming your face. For a peaceful moment of dazed bliss, you had no clue where you were or how you got here.
There was a thumping, searing pain in your skull, hammering away at your sanity like the ticks of a clock. Your neck and shoulders hurt from tension till you realized you were bound to an old wooden chair, a harsh and creaking surface underneath you. Your behind felt both sore and numb.
Glancing around the room, you noticed you were in the living quarters of a small cabin. A fireplace sat to your right. Above it, a cuckoo clock that showed shortly past noon, and you realized that must’ve produced the bird noise that woke you. The stinging sunlight reached your eyes and filled you with hope.
Hal Turner hadn’t locked you into a bunker yet.
“You’re awake. Good.” Turner entered the room with a bottle of water and a sandwich, throwing the items unceremoniously onto your lap. “You need to eat. We’ll leave soon.”
“Where are we going?”
“Where they all went,” he said and came up behind you. Turner wasn’t a man of tall stature. Small, middle-aged, nervous. Non-threatening.
Diane’s little ant.
He cut your ties, and you could tell his hands were shaking. They didn’t treat the others like that. Entertaining a victim had never been his job before.
Sedated, dumped, marooned.
That had been the pattern, and you hoped this little off-course adventure would pay off with your freedom. Your gaze drifted down to a lonely brown belt buckle.
Unarmed.
With free hands and Turner still vulnerably behind you, your arms shot up and wrapped around his neck. Fortunately, he wasn’t as heavy as Beau in training when you jolted him forward, jumped up, and rammed his face straight into your knee.
Unconscious for the moment, Turner tumbled to the ground, and you sprinted through the front door. You hoped it would give you enough time to find an exit.
But all you found was a vast sea of trees – towering pines that reached heavenward with no neighboring houses or roads in sight.
There was a shed to your left. Tools. You needed weapons.
And, most of all, you needed more goddamn time to think your way out of this one.
It wasn’t long till you heard the front door of the cabin slam open, heavy and angry footsteps aimlessly searching before they slowly circled closer to the shed.
Fortunately, your little hide-out had proved itself useful – and fully stocked. Turner had arranged his tools in a neatly organized manner. Nothing seemed to be out of place, screwdrivers hanging on the wall from small to big, pliers, drills, hacksaws… Your weapons of choice, however, fell on a hammer and the heaviest, biggest wrench.
Lurking behind the small barn door, you lay in wait till the old door creaked open and Hal Turner walked through. He only blinked at you wide-eyed before your first hit with the wrench landed across his right cheek. It was hard enough for blood to spew out of his mouth, and as he tumbled forward, you delivered your second blow – the hammer, this time, slamming against the back of his head.
Dropping the tools, you decided to take your chances and make a run through the woods for it. You still had a few fleeting hours till dark. If you just kept going, maybe you’d make it to a road or a town somewhere before you froze to death.
What a great outlook…
However, you didn’t even get farther than a few yards from the house before a sharp pain seared from your ankle throughout your entire body. Falling harshly and bracing yourself on the cold, wet leaves, you screamed out and looked down at the culprit – a bear trap.
Well, points for Hufflepuff!
Apparently, you had underestimated Turner. Ahead of you, you also spied some tripwire. Great. This place was a giant death trap – and you had already hated the woods before all of this.
Getting back onto your feet was not only hindered by the giant claws in your flesh but also the iron chain attached to the trap that tethered you to the ground. So, with your freezing hands, you dug out the metal stake that served as your anchor.
Then, the fucking bear trap – you knew this one would hurt like a son of a bitch. Carefully, you inspected the oozing wound, the razor sharp edges deeply clutching your skin at your lower calf and ankle. For a moment, you even swore you could feel the tips of their pointed teeth drilling into your bone. You tried to pry them apart with your hands but gave up on that idea rather quickly once the jaws cut your fingers.
Glancing at the shed, you saw the door was still ajar. It was quiet in there. Either Hal Turner was gone, solely unconscious, or currently bleeding to death. The shed was your Schrödinger’s cat. As long as you didn’t know which one it was, you still had time.
Taking several deep breaths, you closed your eyes and remembered the trip you took with Beau when you were back in Houston. The two of you drove camping in Piney Woods. For a few days, you were gone and unknown to everyone around you. You could just be you and him. No one had to hide anything. No one had to feel guilty. In those short days, you realized you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.
“Did you know bear traps are actually pretty easy to get out of?” Beau babbles a random fact in his usual manner when neither of you has said anything in a minute. He glances at you, a happy smile on his face as he intertwines his fingers with yours during a stroll through the green and lush forest.
“Huh.”
“Yeah, all you gotta do is not panic, get up on your feet, and press your weight down on the springs at the bottom. Just pops open and you can pull your leg out,” he explains with a popping sound, turning the little lesson into a show-and-tell.
“Don’t panic…” you mumbled to yourself and sat up. “Get up…” With a strained groan and your palms supportively on the ground, you heaved yourself to your feet. You winced as you put pressure on your injured leg and, therefore, tried to shift your weight to your good one. The main problem was the next step: “Press down.”
Mentally, you braced yourself before you slowly started to put pressure on the leg again. The jaws moved and wiggled in your flesh, but the pain was too much too bear. You bit down on your tongue as tears strangled your eyes.
Alright, next try.
If slow was too painful, then maybe the bandaid method was the way to go. Quick and painless, as they say. You inhaled and exhaled through your nose as you raised your foot a few inches above ground, making sure the springs would hit the uneven surface properly. Then, you kicked down.
The trap sprung open, you pulled your foot out, and released a primal scream that echoed through the quiet woods, surely disturbing whatever lived there.
And then, suddenly, Hal Turner stood in front of you with a shovel.
Diane’s listed properties came up empty. There was still no sign of you. Turner, on the other hand, had only booked a motel room in his name but hadn’t been seen there in weeks. So, Beau figured he had to be staying somewhere if he wasn’t sleeping in his room.
At four o’clock, the sheriff was close to a breakdown when all leads petered out and the daylight was almost gone. But then Cassie and Denise stormed the station, both out of breath, and brought forth a document that showed a property north of Helena in the name of a Diane Turner. It was a remote cabin in the middle of the woods, which also happened to be close to the location where the ambulance had picked up Randy.
Ding, ding, ding!
Beau gathered the whole cavalry and raced there as fast as he could. By the time he was ten minutes out, the sky had grown dark, the woods pitch-black around him. Switching on the Jeep’s headlights only added to the uneasiness in his stomach. His passenger was quiet next to him, but Beau could tell how worried Randy was by the way his left leg anxiously drummed against the floor mat.
Both of them thought it was too late to save you.
An access road, all dirt, led up behind the cabin, only making it a short hike. Turner’s vehicle had been parked at the fork where it reached pavement. They seemed to be on the right track. After all, if Turner was here, then hopefully so were you.
Beau and Randy were the first to arrive, the cabin inside dark without a single light on, not even a candle burning in the smudged windows. Carefully, the men stepped on the porch, the property around them quiet and undisturbed, but the front door was an inch ajar. Pulling out their weapons, the two shared a look without speaking a word before entering the house, a feeling of familiarity rising in Beau’s chest.
They were still partners, somewhere deep down.
The floorboards creaked under Beau’s boots as he treaded down the hallway. The cabin was small, only consisting of one bedroom, a living area, a kitchen and bath. While the men checked each room, Beau already knew you weren’t here anymore – if you’d ever been here to begin with. Maybe Diane had sent them on a wild goose-chase, another sick game created by the mind of psychopath, while you had been locked in a bunker all along, waiting for him to find you.
How much air did you still have left? Would he get to you in time?
“Beau!”
His partner’s voice drew him from the bedroom to the living space, his mind still rattling with the unspoken fear of losing you. His green eyes then focused on the beam of Randy’s flashlight as it shone on a wooden chair in the middle of the room, a set of cut plastic ties on the floor next to it. There was also an uneaten sandwich and an unopened bottle of water scattered on the ground.
And then, there were the trails, the little drops, and the sheer pools of blood everywhere that made his gut churn. Was it all yours?
“We need to get forensics here,” Beau said with a thick swallow, already pulling out his phone to call Jenny.
“That’s a lot of blood,” Randy said with a lump in his throat, his eyes transfixed on the little red pond by the tips of his feet. And although it was dark, Beau could see the color drain from his partner’s face.
“I know.” Beau bobbed his head quietly, gently clasping his friend’s shoulder as he held his phone to his ear.
The sheriff then informed Jenny of their findings, telling her to hurry any lab results along. The sooner they knew whose blood it was, the better. As he hung up, he noticed Randy following a trail of blood to the door, leading further outside. He shone his flashlight through the dense foliage before it landed on a little working shed to the right.
As Randy creaked the door of the shed open, with Beau behind him, both thought there was a high probability they’d stumble upon a body in there – if not two.
Instead, the shed was disappointingly empty.
Beau whistled lowly as the light hit the neatly arranged wall of tools. “Well, that’s some freak level organization.”
But Randy’s brow furrowed as his light landed on the ground behind the door. “There’s a hammer and wrench on the ground.” He knelt down to inspect it closer. “Got blood on it. Lot of it.”
Beau chuckled lightly and ran a palm over his face to keep the stinging tears of hope inside, which only confused Randy.
“What’s so funny? Y/N might be dead,” Randy said sourly.
“That’s not Turner’s doing,” Beau argued and gestured at the tools on the ground, his heart flooding with a tiny bit of relief. “Look at the wall. Why would he kill her with tools? It’s way too bloody. Guy like this can’t handle the mess. He had a perfectly fine gun. Would’ve been way cleaner if he wanted to.”
“So, you think this was Y/N?” Randy thought for a moment before nodding. “The ties inside were cut. The food and water on the floor… Maybe he cut her loose and she took advantage of it? I mean, it does sound like her.”
“Yeah…” Beau’s eyes then musingly drifted back to the wall. “Is there a screwdriver on the ground somewhere? There’s one missing here.”
“Nope, nothing on the ground,” Randy replied once his flashlight search was complete. “You think she took it with her?”
“Let’s hope so…”
“But if Y/N managed to overpower Turner, why isn’t she here? And where’s Turner? And if it happened out here, why is there so much blood inside?”
Beau licked his chapped lips, his brow returning to their initially creased position. “Maybe she didn’t take him out for good.”
“You thinkin’ she knocked him out and escaped?”
“Yeah, and then Turner woke up, went back into the house before taking off after her through those woods,” Beau shared his theory. It would explain the vast amounts of blood inside.
“So, your theory is she’s lost and being hunted?” Randy cocked a brow.
Beau only offered him a shrug. “Best possible scenario.”
“Great.” Randy scoffed. “What’s the worst possible scenario then?”
Beau’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “I think we both know.” Licking his lips, he patted Randy’s shoulder. “But let’s not think about the worst right now. I’ll get a team going to search these woods. We’ll find her. You’re not losing her again, alright?”
Randy could only nod and hope, but a little tug on his heart told him something different as he glanced at his former friend.
“It’s been three hours,” Randy huffed frustratedly as they passed the same street sign to Helena down the mountain once more, driving up and down the roads around the cabin in an endless loop, hoping and praying a miracle would happen. “Don’t you think we would’ve found her by now? If she’s hurt and inside those woods, we should be in there looking for her.”
Beau passed another sigh between his lips. There had been three hours of that, too. Patience was a not only an eight-letter word but a bitch as well.
“Neither of us is any help there. We don’t know those woods. You don’t even a phone, Randy,” Beau said with a bit more firmness in his voice, causing his partner’s frown to deepen. Saved by the bell, Beau’s phone chimed in his pocket with Jenny’s angelic name popping up on the screen. He pulled over on the side of the road before picking up.
“What you got? Uh-huh… You sure? What did they say about the cabin? Okay… Both of ‘em? How far? Which direction? Alright… We’re close. Driving back up there now.”
Randy held his breath till Beau hung up, trying to guess the content of the phone call by the various facial expressions of the sheriff. Then, he asked, “Good news or bad news?”
“Hard to say,” Beau replied, his eyes fixed on his hands gripping the steering wheel. He swallowed the lump in his throat, gave himself an encouraging nod, and started the engine, trying to sink every bad theory that surfaced in his mind. “Forensics came back. Our theory was partially correct. The blood inside the cabin was mostly Turner’s.”
Randy raised a brow, his heartbeat thrumming in his ears. “Mostly?”
“Evidence points to her not escaping. Turner might have gotten to her before she could even leave the property. They found a bear trap with her blood on it,” Beau explained slowly, his grip on the wheel tightening. “Dogs picked up a trail, leading into the woods. Forensics confirmed both of their blood on that trail.”
“Doesn’t mean anything. He could’ve followed her. She still could’ve escaped,” Randy replied and knew full well it was only sugarcoating the truth swimming in the lower pits of his belly.
“Could’ve…” Beau nodded and swallowed heavily. “But then again, if she did manage to escape, how did her blood end up inside the cabin?”
Defeated, Randy licked his lips, expelling a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, guess my hopes are little too high. I mean, how the hell would you get out of a bear trap?”
Beau knew the question was mostly rhetorical, but true to himself, he still answered, “It’s actually pretty easy. Just press down on the springs, and the thing opens right up.” A smile formed on his lips as a memory popped back into his mind. “I told Y/N that once when we took a camping trip back in Houston. She probably didn’t remember it. I mean, honestly, I doubt she was even listening. I was kinda ramblin’, you know?”
“Uh-huh. I remember. I’ve spent a lot of time with you…” Randy smacked his lips, fingers tapping his thigh. “You guys went on a trip together?”
Beau’s mouth opened on reflex, but he stopped himself from replying, shooting a scrutinizing look at his partner. “Yeah, uh, just the one, really. Shoulda been more…”
Regrets seeped to the surface. If Beau had known he had only a finite amount of time with you, he would’ve enjoyed and appreciated every last second of it. He should’ve spent less time in his head. He should’ve taken you out on more dates. He should’ve been the best he could be. Instead, he wasted so much time and couldn’t even remember why in retrospect.
“What makes you say that?” Randy’s question rang both with curiosity and pain. His brown eyes stared stubbornly ahead and focused on the dark road.
Beau blew a long sigh. “Well, I wasn’t always the best–,” he hesitated a moment before saying the word, “–boyfriend, I guess.”
If Randy was upset by the term, he didn’t let it show. Maybe he was sticking to Rule #2. He quirked a brow and glanced at Beau in the driver’s seat. “So, on top of stealing my wife, you’re telling me you didn’t even treat her right?”
“Guess so,” Beau admitted quietly, poking the inside of his cheeks with his tongue and ignoring the subtle jab. “And I didn’t treat her badly, by the way. Just could’ve tried harder. Felt guilty because she was your-, well, you know… And the divorce got kinda messy, too. I just wanted to stay clear of complications.”
Exasperated, Randy scoffed, shaking his head. “This is not really making me want to give you my blessing…”
Beau huffed a chuckle. “Didn’t know that was an option.”
“Well, it’s not. You don’t deserve her.” Randy clicked his tongue, pensively bobbing his head. He then finally admitted, the words sounding almost sour, “Neither do I. You might be as big of an idiot as me.”
Beau’s eyes widened in surprise, his focus briefly swaying from the road. “What d’you mean? You guys were perfect together. Is this about what Newton said?”
Randy’s lips curved into a bitter smile. “Y/N never told you?”
“Told me what?”
Randy chewed on his lower lip before pushing out the words that had plagued him for three years. “She wanted to leave me.”
Beau shook his head. “Nah, I don’t buy it. She loved you. You should’ve seen her after she thought you’d died.”
Randy inhaled sharply, his head spinning with regret and heart filling with hope. For the past years, he had wondered if he’d ever get another chance to fix things with you.
“Yeah, well, it’s true,” he said, his gaze cast downward as if he were confessing his sins to a priest. “She wanted kids, and I told her I didn’t. Neither of us was backing down. The night the cartel kidnapped me, we were supposed to have dinner and talk about it when I got home. Part of me already knew where it was headed.”
Beau listened and nodded. He remembered the set dinner table, the lovingly prepared food, the candles – it didn’t seem like something one would do if they planned on leaving.
“No, I don’t think she would’ve left you,” Beau noted, although his heart stung when he said it out loud.
“I overheard her asking Carla for a divorce lawyer. Pretty sure she was,” Randy retorted. “Seems silly now. She was already out of my league. I should’ve just given her what she wanted. I don’t even know why I didn’t. I should’ve just shut up and been grateful.”
“That’s what I would’ve told you to do,” Beau muttered, his brain trying to keep track and process everything. Why had you never told him any of this? And more importantly: “Why have you never told me?”
“Guess I was embarrassed.” Randy shrugged. “And I already knew what you would’ve said.”
Secretly amused, Beau cocked a brow. “What? That you’re an idiot?”
“Exactly.”
“And Carla knew?”
“I guess.” Randy gave another shrug of his shoulders. “I mean, they talked all the time. Well, mostly it was Carla complaining about you, but still…”
Beau’s brow furrowed into deep lines. He should’ve been more surprised than he was. The only thing that really baffled him was the fact you had still agreed to date him after hearing all of that. What else didn’t he know?
“I thought they met once a week for book club?”
Randy shot him a pitying look. “Dude, there was no book club. Only three bottles of wine.” He then exhaled a long sigh, stretching back into his seat. “Maybe it’s good she didn’t pick anyone. She deserves someone who can give her what she wants.”
“What makes you think I can’t?” A little offended, Beau raised his brow. “You know, when she came back a few weeks ago, I swore I’d make things right. I wouldn’t let her go this time.”
But Beau broke that promise. He pushed you away to stay clear of complications. His heart twinged.
“And you think she wanted to live in a trailer in the woods of Montana?”
“Doesn’t matter. I would’ve given her anything she wanted. No questions asked,” Beau stated simply. “I was happy when I was with her. Didn’t matter where we were or what we were doing.”
“So, what? You planned on marrying her? Kids?”
Beau twitched his shoulders, his eyes not drifting from the street. If he glanced at Randy only for a beat, he couldn’t ignore his friend’s reactions any longer and still remain honest. “We never talked about it, but... If that’s what she wants, then yeah. Don’t even have to think about it. You really were an idiot, you know?”
“I know that. Thank you,” Randy huffed sarcastically and rolled his eyes. “Still not getting my blessing, though.”
“Good thing you’re not her father,” Beau snapped. He could only muster so much patience. “You don’t really have a say in who she’s datin’.”
“You’re one to talk.” Randy scoffed mockingly. “I met your friend Denise at the station. We had a long chat. She almost talks as much as you. Sounded like you tried to have a say in who Carla should marry. Little hypocritical, don’t you think?”
“That’s different,” Beau retorted defensively. “We have a kid together. Whoever Carla’s seeing is also gonna be in Emily’s life.”
“So, you don’t even care a little about Carla’s well-being? ‘Cause Denise said you killed her new husband,” Randy countered cleverly.
“Of course I care,” Beau admitted frustratedly. What did Randy want to hear? That he was right about everything? Well, except one thing: “And I didn’t kill Avery, by the way. Might have been slightly responsible for his death, sure, but I didn’t kill the idiot.”
“Seems to be a pattern for you. Maybe Diane was right,” Randy muttered wryly.
Beau licked his lips and sighed. “Listen, I know that devil woman is good at getting into someone’s head, but you gotta believe me, man. I did not leave you to die. If I had known–”
“Whoa, I know,” Randy interrupted him with an amused chuckle and two placating hands. “I was just joking. I knew you didn’t hand me over to the cartel on purpose in some evil ploy to get with my wife. That would be insane.”
Beau gave a nod, accepting his answer with relief. “Well, good.”
“Look, I’m not delusional, contrary to what everyone’s thinking. I know things happened while I was away,” Randy admitted. “I figured she had moved on. For three years, I actually hoped she did. I wanted her to be happy. Just didn’t think it be you, I guess. Probably shouldn’t have been surprised, though. I kinda knew you always liked her. Just didn’t think any more of it, you know?”
“And there wasn’t more, alright? I promise,” Beau assured him, his cheeks reddening from embarrassment. He never thought Randy would’ve suspected anything – not that there really ever was anything. But had his tiny crush really been that obvious? “One of those things, you know? Just ‘cause I find Michelle Rodriguez attractive doesn’t mean I seriously expect to date her. I didn’t know it was more than that till I spent some time with her.”
“Good to know,” was all Randy said, crossing his arms with an uncomfortable clear of his throat. “Definitely surprised Y/N likes you, though. She always had a pretty low opinion of you. Said you were doing shitty police work and I should be more careful. Guess she was right..." Beau shot him a darkened look but refrained from taking the bait. Randy pursed his lips. "Look, I know I’m a pain in your ass right now. You’d probably love to get rid of me.”
“Well, hey, that’s not–”
“What, true?” Knowingly, Randy lifted a brow. “I would if I were you.”
Beau only nodded, not admitting out loud the thought had certainly crossed his mind. “So, what are you thinking now?”
“Still want her to be happy,” Randy said quietly.
All of a sudden, Beau then slammed on the brakes, both men jolting forward into their seatbelts. A loud thud echoed through the car as something heavy hit the Jeep’s hood. For a moment, the sheriff thought he’d run into a deer before blinking his eyes at the bloodied and muddied image of Hal Turner.
“What the hell?!”
Turner was in rough shape, pantingly and deliriously stumbling around the car and onto the road, shielding his eyes from the blinding headlights with his palm. Blood dripped from various places from his head and body before Beau’s eyes narrowed on the metal tool stuck inside his neck.
“Guess we found our missing screwdriver,” Randy noted as the two men jumped out of the car, guns drawn.
“Where is she, Turner?” Beau prompted sternly, his finger itching to pull the trigger for everything he’d done to you. But knowing where you were was more important than a vendetta. Turner could only speak while he was alive.
And the man seemed to know it, too. Before the sheriff could call for back-up and an ambulance, Turner sneered and raised a hand, gripping the screwdriver tightly.
“No, don’t!”
Beau’s plea came too late. Hal Turner pulled the makeshift weapon out of his throat and collapsed to the ground, bleeding out within seconds.
Randy’s fingers landed on the man’s pulse point. He glanced up at his partner with a shake of his head. “He’s gone.”
Throwing his gun angrily into the rustling brushes, Beau gripped his temples and screamed into the void of the dark woods. Desperation clawed on his mind and heart. The fear of losing you for good took him prisoner. With labored breaths, he squeezed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and rubbed his tired eyes. Turner had been his last lead. He knew more wouldn’t be coming.
What now?
A sanctimonious beep of his phone drew his attention. A small part of him prayed it was Jenny, informing him you’d emerged a few miles up the road – bloody like Turner, but otherwise fine. Alive.
But his green eyes only found an email and darkened at the sender’s name. “Diane just sent me a link.”
Randy, caught in his own spiral, suddenly glanced up. “To what?”
“Livestream.”
Chapter 13: Sure And Certain – JANUARY 10
Another cliffhanger, and it looks like Diane's still having the last laugh 🙈
What did you think of this part? Were you surprised by Randy's revelation? He might've changed his mind on a few things 😉
See ya next week for the freaking finale 🤍
Join the TAG LIST here! 🌌 Wanna sponsor my caffeine addiction? ☕️
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💙Cas Challenge by Herzblau💙
Hey everyone, 👋
hope you’re all doing well! Do you love hanging out in CAS and enjoy getting creative with your Sims? Then this challenge is just perfect for you! What’s it all about?
Emotions!
Create a Sim of your choice, whether male, female, or non-binary. It can be an ordinary Sim or an occult one. Let your creativity run wild!
The only requirement is that your Sim must be adorable and reflect one of the following emotions:
happy - sad - angry - jealous - shy - loving - anxious - nervous - flirty - curious - adventurous - neutral - bored - confident - inspired - lonely - content
Choose an emotion and create a cute Sim. How your Sim looks is completely up to you. There are no other requirements, except for the emotion and cuteness. The rest you can design freely. Here’s my take on the emotion in a Sim:
'cute nervous' boy Rain by "Herzblau”💙💙💙
Anyone who feels like it can join, just choose an emotion and create a cute Sim. Don’t forget to tag me and include #challenge by herzblau and #emotion cas challenge in your tags.
I’m excited to see your Sims and hope you have a lot of fun with the challenge. To get the ball rolling, I’m tagging a few amazing creators. But no one has to join, it’s totally up to you.
@tikay21 @design-men @strangegrapefruit @wolkentage @pepeshiagent @azeterna @sugarcream-sims @sadraccoon061 @southernsimmin @jasesims
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I love you all so much🥹♥️♥️♥️
@thingsmaygetalittlecrazy @n0va25 @ravenwind-75 @rypnami @okeydokeylackey @honeyed-blossom @light-of-the-room YOU ARE ALL SO SO SO SWEET FOR TAGGING ME🥹🫂🫂♥️♥️😭♥️😭😭🫂🫂🫂
When I joined the fandom in April/May of last year, I didn’t expect for it to become This. I’m normally just a lurker online, posting with 0 engagement and having a lot of fun seeing everytbing anyways, but leaving comments and seeing everything you all post while I drink my morning coffee has become the highlight of my day!!! I genuinely love talking and connecting with all of you so so so much♥️♥️♥️
Special shoutout to my Canadian alter-ego yapping gremlin @choccy-milky (im almost back🤭😈) you’ve made being in this fandom so much fun!!!
@thingsmaygetalittlecrazy IM TAGGING YOU AGAIN😤😤🤭 Dani why are you so sweet and amazing!!!! I LOVE YAPPING WITH YOU SO MUCH & YOUR ART IS INCREDIBLE♥️♥️♥️ I was already excited to see your art before you posted & then you blew me away with your talent🫨🫨🫨
@elliecutte AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL !!!!!!! I’m so happy you found my fic and my blog and that we started talking!!♥️♥️♥️ seeing notifications from you always makes me smile🥹🥹🥹
@latymerct the only girl here who understands that older music/rock is the BEST & Lyle is the only mc that is canon to Eloise for me🥰🥰🥰 I hope you’ve had an amazing time over the holidays!!♥️
@bassicallymaestra Kelly, you were my FIRST fandom friend & my first ever ask (about the pencils😆😆♥️) AND I ALWAYS LOVE TALKING WITH YOU WHEN YOURE ON HERE!!!!!!
@kay9leo THANK YOU for being you & for always being so sweet and supportive!!! I need to catch up on your writing, but I LOVE your writing style/voice so much & your art is so cute🥹 I may or may not have lots of little sketches with Iñaki and Eloise I need to upload soon🤭♥️
@sparxyv and @syaolaurant for some reason you two sweet artists came into my life at around the same time & I always love supporting you and seeing your AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING ART!!! & watching you both grow SO MUCH & experiment is literally the coolest thing ever🥹🥹🥹
@writing-intheundercroft for being my first writing friend♥️♥️♥️ idk how we started talking but I love it so much & you already know what a special spot your Theo & Sebastian have in my heart🥰🥰🥰 plus your writing is just so good & always scratches that itch in my brain🤌 plus all of the art you’ve been posting recently is SO CUTE !!!!
@holdmymallowsweet THE SWEETEST PERSON ALIVE !!!!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ I don’t know if iou know this, but you were the first person to actually leave comments on my fic (i’d been posting it for months to an audience of: me before you found it😆) & it really gave me a lot of motivation!!! Plus it started a friendship with one of my favorite people on here🥰🥰🙏🙏🥹🥹 I love all of your writing: oneshots, the long fic, and now, your art !!!!
@traceyc-uk one of my first artist friends here!! We joined around the same time & I always love seeing New Fifth Year (may he never have a different name), your comics, and how your art evolves so much🥹♥️🥹♥️
@heylorrain tía, tu arte es increíble y estoy muy agradecida por coincidir contigo en este fandom😭♥️♥️♥️♥️ flipo cada vez que veo tus cómics y Lorra es una mc MUY especial para mi🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
@espressoristretto-patronum DES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH😭♥️😭♥️😭♥️😭♥️ my Italian counterpart…you literally have NO reason being so sweet and supportive & the best person ever🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
@light-of-the-room SUCH A SWEETHEART🥹♥️🥹♥️🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
& a million other people, but I ran out of tags😫 I love coming on here & talking with all of you talented people and seeing what you post♥️♥️♥️ sometimes i feel guilty and overwhelmed bc my algorithm doesn’t always show me everything, or I don’t have the energy to leave comments. I always try my hardest to comment on everything i see & like from my sneaky main blog though, & I always want to make sure everyone feels supported here!!
At the end of the day I’m just one girl who comes on here when i have a bit of free time, in addition to writing, creating little fanarts, and doing a million other things that have nothing to do with this fandom (plus work boooooooooooo🥲). So I’ll always be here when I’m able to & support you all♥️♥️♥️🫂🫂🫂 I’m excited to see what 2025 has in store!🙏
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Dire...Dog?
Brought to you because I have an extremely large dog XD
Important Note: I might not mention it explicitly but know that if they are outside, not in a yard or anything, the dog is on a leash. Dogs should always be leashed when not inside or in a fenced area, and you should always ask before approaching them. It’s safest for everyone and the dogs!
Tried to make it a combination of silly and sweet ^J^
Tags: Fluff, Humor
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Xavier
Xavier has a way with animals, as the birds perched on his window, serenading him can attest. The neighborhood wildlife loves him. Perhaps it’s his calm and gentle aura, or perhaps it’s simply his generosity with food. (What you don’t realize is that they love you as well!) But despite that, it was still a bit nerve-wracking to introduce your dog to him.
Your dog was your best friend and beloved comrade, who had been by your side a significant portion of your life. The both of you had been through a lot together. Lately, you and Xavier were growing closer, and you quite enjoyed his company.
Xavier was becoming a steadfast, reliable and intelligent friend, gentle and sweet, but funny and sharp as well. You liked hanging out with him even outside of work, and working together was as easy as breathing. So, you figured that it was time to take the next step, and introduce him to your dog, as long as Xavier was willing.
It was a sort of litmus test. Depending on how Xavier reacted to a dog the height of the kitchen counters, you’d adjust accordingly. Then, there was the matter of how your dog reacted. If it was positive or neutral, all would be well. If it was an immediate, extreme dislike, you’d take note, as that would be different then just having to warm up to someone.
“Xavier, would you like to meet my dog? I have to give you a fair warning though, as my dog is extremely large. You can say no, of course! I just thought it would be nice for you two to meet each other.”
Xavier had been quite curious about your dog, actually. He had definitely heard them, and seen them with you, going on neighborhood walks, though that was from a distance so he had no idea of their actual size. And, he would never admit it, but he was the tiniest bit jealous of them. By meeting your dog, Xavier could spend more time with you.
“I’d love to meet your dog, and I’m sure I can handle the experience given our line of work.” His slight, subtle smile is teasing. And so, it was decided. They would meet each other at a park (neutral territory) and Xavier would be armed with treats in a bid to win favor, if needed.
“That...is a stunningly large dog.” Xavier was definitely taken slightly of guard, he knew your dog was large, but the true scale had escaped him. The dog’s nose was level with his stomach. “Are you sure you don’t have a hellhound?” Xavier’s earnest tone made you giggle.
At Xavier’s approach, their ears pricked up, their 2 foot long tail slightly moving back and forth. When you greeted him eagerly though, the tail wagging became more vigorous, starting to prance and play. Delighted, you played around with your dog, petting them, dancing around and gushing about how cute and adorable they were.
He could have sworn his eyes flashed green with jealousy, but he knew it was silly to be jealous of your beloved pet. Instead, he focused on how happy you sounded, giggling and laughing as you romped around with your gigantic dog.
Xavier holds out a hand to sniff, and they do. It takes a second, but to your happiness both of them are getting along! Your dog leans into Xavier, their full body-weight resting against his legs, tail thwacking against them. Xavier reciprocated, gracing your dog with scritching all the best spots. It makes you genuinely happy to see them together. It was heartwarming, your two favorites bonding.
He looks at you, and seeing how joyous you are warms his heart even more. Experiences like these, with you, were all he really wanted.
Xavier wins your dog over, or rather it might be the other way around, the way Xavier is showering them with affection and attention. What can he say? Your dog is adorable, loving, playful and gentle. It’s understandable why you love them so much.
“Our Dog now.”
“What?”
“What?”
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Sylus
He knew you had a pretty large dog, of course, it was one of the many things he knew about you through Mephisto’s...occasional surveillance. The true size of the dog in question, however, was a different matter entirely. After all, there’s only so much you can tell from a distance, through video. Thus, he was not prepared when he showed up to your apartment and encountered your own personal hellhound of a dog, steadfastly guarding you against any perceived threat, including him.
Sylus approved. He quite liked dogs in general, but your dog was special because you loved them, and your dog loved you, kept you safe, and made you happy. How could he dislike them? Sylus petted their velvet ears and scratched under their chin, your dog groaning in contentment, their long tail making loud thwacking noises as it hit the wall from waving back and forth.
This only happened after your dog had been barking and snarling at him, but that was no problem. Besides, why begrudge a guard dog for guarding? All he had to do was let your dog determine for himself that he wasn’t a threat, at least, not to you. Never to you.
When your dog saw that you, yourself knew Sylus, and how he behaved towards you, their behavior changed. They walked over, investigating the man by snuffling around him. Apparently, his scent met the high approval standards, because your dog then proceeded to wag their tail, sit, and ask cutely for Sylus’s attention, which Sylus gladly gave.
Your heart melted at the interactions between the two. It was another facet to Sylus, the appreciation and respect he showed your valued friend interesting and revealing. The calm reaction to your dog’s staunch protectiveness was another mark in his favor. You were starting to realize that these mental marks of yours in his favor grew increasingly numerous.
Being somewhat calculating, it did occur to him that you might warm up to him faster if your dog liked him. It did not hurt, of course that your dog had a strong personality, much like you. Playing with them would only be a bonus.
His lips curl in amusement as a thought crosses his mind.
“What’s so funny, Sylus?” His name from your mouth thrilled him.
“You are, sweetie. An adorable kitten surrounding themselves with dangerous things, deceiving everyone who can’t tell that you’re the most ferocious of all.”
“Only if provoked. Anyway, why are you here? Just to play with my dog?”
“Not just that. I also want to play with you.” Your dog was now leaning fully against him, in that way large dogs do, and he found it cute.
“I suppose we can play.” The smirk that graces your face, coupled with your playful tone, fills him with satisfaction. “But you should be prepared to lose.”
“Always, sweetie. Losing to you is well worth my while.”
Before, the thought of being with you like this was a distant, well guarded hope. But here he was in your apartment, your dog cuddling up to him while you willingly gave him your time and attention. How fortunate for him to spend time with those he loved.
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Zayne
The first time he met your dog, it was while you were on a walk with them. It just so happened that your route went past a bakery he frequents. Zayne was purchasing his favorite sweets, and considering which one you might like when both you and your dog strode past the window, pausing briefly so they could sniff around the bakery door. Understandable as the scent of freshly baked goods was incredibly enticing.
Quickly, impulsively, he buys everything he was considering and leaves the shop, walking quickly to catch up with you, but he slows down as he gets closer. Of course you hear him approaching, and you command your dog to heel before you turn, right as he greets you. “Hello, unruly patient of mine.”
Laughing, you greet him in turn, your dog waiting patiently at your heel. “Greetings, strict doctor of mine.”
With your dog by your side, he’s struck by your powerful presence. Not that that is an abnormal occurrence, but the dog is entirely new. Zayne loves animals, and secretly the day the animals come to visit patients at the hospital is one of his favorites.
But, it is prudent to be cautious, having not met your dog yet, and especially because your dog is so large. In an effort to make you smile, he did try and crack a joke. “Taking the hellhound puppy for a jaunt?” Much to his delight, it worked.
“Indeed. It’ll be much harder when he’s the size of a building, so I should take the opportunity when I can. Would you like to join us?”
“I would love to.” Approaching slowly, he asks if he can pet your dog. It’s important to ask this question, even if the dog seems calm or friendly, and you appreciated the fact he asked because it showed respect for you and your dog. “You may.”
Gently, he rests his hand on your dogs head, not having to lower himself at all to do so, and starts scratching their ears. Your dog leans into his touch, tail wagging enthusiastically. He can only use one hand, as he’s holding baked goods in the other.
You walk together, talking and laughing. Zayne is acutely aware of you, how you move, your voice, the smell of your shampoo, and dozens of other small details.
Your dog catches the scent of the baked goods and starts sniffing the air. “Would you like to sniff it?” Zayne lowers the sealed bag closer to your dog’s adorable, wiggling nose. It was a heartwarming gesture, and you could feel the rush of affection for him. He didn’t give the dog any baked goods of course, but he figured the smells themselves were a fun treat. The action further endeared him to you, showing once again that Zayne’s personality really did match his tastes.
Your dog had handily wormed their way into his heart. They say dogs and their owners resemble each other, and he can see why. He can see echos of you in your dog, which only serves to strengthen his regard for you because he can see the strong bond between you. It was a bond of the same strength he hoped to have with you, someday, as his bond with you grew.
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Rafayel
“Well, you are very cute, I do agree. But unfortunately I know someone cuter.” [Picture Received] Rafayel’s joy at his cuteness being acknowledged was replace with mock outrage. How could anything be cuter than him? (Except you!) But he did have to admit, your dog was pretty dang adorable.
That was how he found out you had a dog.
You were opening up more, sharing things about yourself that you previously wouldn’t have. It didn’t matter how many times this happened, he loved learning about you, and there was always something new.
This discovery precipitated a flood of ideas in his mind, and he immediately fills pages of his current sketchbook. Later, when you were going to one of his exhibits together, he floated the idea of a series of animal themed paintings. Perhaps your dog could be a model?(In reality, it was themed around you and your dog in particular, and he was absolutely trying to spend more time with you under the guise of the painting sessions)
“Hmmm. Are you sure? I know you aren’t really comfortable around cats, so I thought that might be the case with dogs as well. Hence, why I don’t really talk about my dog with you or invite you to my place or anything. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, stressed out or scared. Doubly so because my dog is quite large.”
“Aww cutie, you’re so considerate! But don’t worry, I’m sure. Why don’t you bring your dog around tomorrow?” More time with you is always something he wants, whatever that entails. Rafayel is willing to face and overcome his fears for you, for nothing in return.
But the thing is, he’s not getting nothing. You’ve shown your care and compassion for him, actively spending time with him, helping him, and sharing your live with him. He truly believes that he’s the luckiest, when it comes to you.
“Okay, if you’re sure.” And so, tomorrow came and you arrived with your dog, who was prancing back and forth in excitement to be somewhere new. You were taking care so that the leash wouldn’t get tangled in his legs, and talking to him as you walked up to the studio.
“Aww are you excited? I’m excited too.” He watches as you do a playful little dance with your dog, finding it so endearing. “Now, just be chill. Rafayel could have chosen another dog but instead he asked for you! Isn’t that cool?”
He absolutely had no idea how big your dog actually was though, because photos are so bad at showing scale, unless there’s something for comparison. Realization hit him like a brick when you walked up with your dog and their shoulders were at your hip. To say he was flabbergasted would be an extremely accurate statement, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. Especially armed with dog treats, your dog was absolutely gonna love him.
He comes out to greet the two of you, making sure his body language is relaxed and nonthreatening, encouraging your dog to come and investigate.
“Suddenly I have an idea for a painting where your dog models a hell-hound. You would be a perfect model for Persephone, what do you say?” Your dog approaches him calmly and happily, sniffing around until they catch the scent of the treats, hidden in Rafayel’s pocket and focus their attention on it, sniffing vigorously. Their tail whips around eagerly and they prance, hoping to get a treat.
“Hmmmm maybe.” A glowing smile and a playful shrug accompany your coy tone. “Though beware I will charge a modeling fee.” Rafayel rests his hands on your dog’s ears, petting them and flapping them back and forth. Your dog is enchanted, and leans into his touch, bracing their entire body against his legs.
“As you should! Gotta make sure you get your due.” Rafayel switches to rubbing your dog’s neck, and scratching under their chin. He grants your dog a treat, because it’s deserved for being so lovely.
It was fun and heartwarming to see them interact, and that feeling permeated the session. He liked your dog and treated them well and was calm even though he was clearly taken aback by how big they were. Your dog liked him, too!
It was supposed to be a modeling job for your dog, but honestly it devolved into the three of you spending time together and playing around. Not that any of you were complaining, of course.
Though it didn’t seem like a modeling session, Rafayel absolutely did sketch his favorite moments when you weren’t really paying attention. You hadn’t had such a fun time in a while, but it seemed you always did have fun with him.
Living life with you was what he wanted. He cherished the things he experienced with you and through you, he was able to make a new friend. What more could he ask for?
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#love and deepspace#fanfic#lnds rafayel#lads rafayel#lads sylus#lads xavier#lads zayne#reader insert#x reader#l&ds rafayel#lads x reader#lnds headcanons#lnds x reader
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I DON’T UNDERSTAND — bang jeemin x f!reader
you has to move to a new country due to your father's work. you face difficulties in school as you cannot understand the language and culture of the new place. however, everything changes when you met jeemin, who sincerely helps you adapt and feel comfortable in the new surroundings.
tags 💭 — fluff?, non-idol au, high school au, fast burn, foreigner!reader, sensitive!reader, slight cursing, bullying and etc, lowercase intended, mens dni, grammatical errors .
as you stared nervously out the window of your private car, your dad reached over and patted your shoulder gently.
"don’t worry, you’ll make friends in no time." he said with a reassuring smile. you forced a small smile in return, trying to hide your anxiety.
you were on your way to your new school — your fifth school in three years. ain’t that crazy? basically, your dad’s job means that you have to move around a lot. this time you were moving across the world, and it meant starting a whole new life in a completely different country.
thoughts swirled anxiously inside your head as the car pulled up to the front gate of the school. it was a large, intimidating building with an imposing facade. you felt small and vulnerable as you stepped out of the car and followed your dad towards the entrance.
as you and your dad walked through the school halls, you could feel the weight of curious stares following your every move. everyone was already in their groups, chatting and laughing. it felt like you’re an outsider, like you didn’t belong here.
you two finally made it to the office where you was immediately introduced to the principal and a few teachers. they all smiled warmly and said all the usual welcoming words, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place.
after the formalities were over, you was assigned a senior student tour guide to help you navigate the school. and that was how you met the bang jeemin.
when you first laid eyes on her, you was blown away. she was so beautiful and confident. she had long, glossy dark brown hair and piercing eyes. as she approached, she smiled warmly and extended her hand in greeting.
"i’m jeemin, i’ll be your little tour guide and help you settle in." jeemin smiled as she speaks in english to you. her voice was soft yet firm and she had a friendly manner that instantly made you feel at ease.
you introduced yourself in a shy voice and shook her hand, feeling your palm grow sweaty. jeemin didn’t seem to notice though (hopefully), or if she did, she didn’t show any signs of it. after that, jeemin gave you a quick tour of the school, showing the classrooms, cafeteria, and other important areas. one place you wouldn’t be able to get out of your mind was the library. the library is so huge and you feel like you can die happy right now.
as we made our way to the dormitory, you couldn’t help but notice that jeemin’s english was not as fluent as the other students. she would occasionally struggle to find the right words, and her pronunciation was a bit off. but you don’t mind it one bit. she’s fully korean after all.
as we reached the dorm building, jeemin turned to you with an embarrassed smile and apologized in a soft apologetic voice. "sorry, my english not very good," she said sheepishly. "i will try my best though."
you shook your head and smiled warmly at her, telling her that you indeed do not mind it all. instead, you find it to be quite cute that she’s trying her best to communicate and guide you despite the language barrier.
"it’s okay, i understand you." you smiled softly in which jeemin smiled back in return. jeemin’s face brightened at your words and she seemed to relax a little (a lot).
"okay so, you like the room?" she asked, gesturing towards the dorm room we had reached. you nodded and followed her into the room. the room was small but cozy, with two beds and a couple of desks. there was even a little window that let in some natural light. oh you love it already. perfectly matched your aesthetic.
jeemin continued showing you around the room and pointing out important things like the bathroom and the mini fridge. as she did, you couldn’t help but notice how naturally she moved around the space, as if she knew it well.
finally, we stopped in the middle of the room and she looked at you with a smile. "is comfortable for you?" she asked, gesturing to the space around us.
you giggled softly at her english cause you find it absolutely adorable. how could anyone be this cute while trying to communicate? you softly nodded again and smiles back, feeling a little bit more at ease in this new environment.
"yeah, it’s nice. thank you for showing me around."
jeemin’s face lit up at your response, and she beamed at you with a relieved smile. "you’re welcome." she replied softly. "i happy to help."
there was a moment of comfortable silence between us, and you suddenly felt a strange sense of connection with jeemin. maybe it was the fact that you were both ‘outsiders’ in a way — she with her imperfect english, and you as the new foreigner. finally, jeemin broke the silence and changed the subject.
"so, where you come from?" jeemin asked, tilting her head slightly in curiosity.
you snapped out of your thoughts and look up at jeemin with a soft smile. why did you just realised how tall this girl actually is. "australia." you replied with a short and simple answer since you don’t want jeemin to get confused or anything.
when jeemin told you to tell her more, you were a little surprised at the fact that she’s genuinely is interested in what you’re saying. even though she might not understand. you smiled and told her more about your home country, how it was different from this one, and some of the things you liked about it. jeemin listened intently, asking simple and short questions and showing genuine interest in what you had to say. as we talked, you could feel your anxiety slowly melting away. jeemin had a way of making you feel comfortable and at ease. before you even knew it, we had been talking for a good half hour. it feels like a minute to you.
just then, jeemin’s phone buzzed with tons of messages. she glanced at it and then looked up at me with an apologetic expression.
"i must go now," she sighed. "have extra class to attend."
you pouted slightly and nodded, feeling a pang of disappointment. you had been enjoying your conversation, and you didn’t want it to end. but jeemin was already gathering her books and packing up her bag. good things always doesn’t last long after all.
you watched quietly as jeemin gathered her things. no matter how much you hate to admit it, you’d be lying if you said you’re not gonna miss jeemin’s presence. you’re not sure why but she has this thing that makes you feel comfortable around her immediately. even though she’s a lil awkward.
jeemin noticed your pout and disappointed expression and she smiles to herself. you’re being so adorable in her eyes. "i’ll come back later." she smiled, reassuring you that she won’t leave you that long. (jeemin could never)
you nodded and sighed quietly. "okay, see you later jee." jeemin was taken aback by the sudden nickname but eventually she chuckled afterwards. gosh. you’re too cute. jeemin feels like she could die from your cuteness.
a few hours later, jeemin finally returned back to the dorm room. forgot to mention to you guys but, jeemin is indeed your dorm mate. she was still in her school uniform and looked tired, but her face brightened when she saw you sitting on your bed, studying.
sensing a presence in front of you, so you glanced up and saw jeemin standing in front of you, holding out two small cartons of milk — one with chocolate and one with strawberry. it took you a moment to realize that she wanted you to pick one, but didn’t know how to ask you that in english.
you smiled at her and pointed to the strawberry milk, knowing it’s your favourite. jeemin grinned back and handed you the carton, then sat down on her own bed, resting her chin on her hands and watching you curiously.
slowly, you opened the carton of strawberry milk and took a sip, savouring the sweetness. jeemin watched you with a small smile, her head tilted slightly as if she were studying your reaction.
after a moment, she decided spoke up, her voice soft. "you like?” she asked, pointing to the carton in your hand. you giggles before nodding which make jeemin grins happily. not to mention but jeemin was contemplating her life decision when buying the milk. wondering which flavour would you like and what if you can’t drink any milk.
the next morning, you was woken up by the sound of birds chirping outside the window. groggily, you sat up and rubbed your eyes, trying to adjust to the brightness of the sunlight streaming in through the curtains. as you stretched and yawned, images from the previous day started to flash through your mind. jeemin's friendly smile, her warm presence, the way she had tried to make you comfortable in a foreign environment.
suddenly, you realised that you hadn’t seen jeemin since she had left for her yet another extra class the day before. you looked around the room, but she was nowhere to be seen. her bed was made, and the room was empty. you frowned, feeling a pang of disappointment. you had hoped to see jeemin again this morning, to chat with her and maybe get to know her a bit more. but it looked like she had already left for class.
and that’s what you thought. and you were wrong. you flinched and your mouth dropped open in surprise as the door suddenly burst open and jeemin appeared, breathing heavily and holding a plastic bag full of food. you hadn’t expected to see her at all, let alone with breakfast in tow.
jeemin looked up at your expression and gave you a sheepish smile, gesturing towards the food in her hand. "um, breakfast." she said in her broken english.
it suddenly dawned on you what she had been doing. she had gone out early to get us food for breakfast. you felt a warm feeling in your chest, touched that she had thought of you and done something so kind. you smiled back at her and nodded. "thank you." you grinned, getting out of bed and stepping closer to her.
as you got closer, you could smell the aroma of freshly cooked food wafting out of the plastic bag. your stomach growled loudly, reminding yourself that you didn’t eat anything at all yesterday. jeemjn laughed at the sound of your grumbling stomach and set the food down on the desk. she started to unpack the bag, revealing an array of different breakfast items — eggs, sausage, toast, and some fruit.
it all looked delicious and you couldn’t help but feel grateful that she had gone through the trouble of getting it all for us. jeemin gestured for you to sit down at the desk and she began to plate the food. you took a seat at the desk and watched as jeemin expertly prepared the food, carefully dividing everything into two portions. she moved with a grace and ease that was almost mesmerizing to watch. ugh. fine. everything she did is mesmerising.
finally, she placed a plate in front of you, piled high with food. she then sat down in the chair opposite you, looking at your expression expectantly.
"eat." she said, gesturing at the food. her tone more like demanding but whatever! you eagerly dug into the food, savouring each bite. it was delicious — the eggs cooked just right, the sausages perfectly seasoned. you realised that you had been so anxious and distracted the previous day that you hadn’t eaten anything at all.
as you ate, you occasionally glanced up at jeemin. she was watching you closely, a satisfied smile on her face, as if she was happy to see you enjoying the food she had gotten for us.
"you’re so damn cute gosh." jeemin mumbled in korean. you look up from your food and look at jeemin with a confused look as if silently waiting for her to translate that. jeemin saw your reaction and chuckles before brushing it off just like that. now you’re so damn intrigued. what was she saying.
we ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the only sound being the clinking of silverware on plates. the sun streamed in through the window, casting a warm glow on the room and enhancing the feeling of contentment between us.
once we had finished eating, you put down the fork and looked up at jeemin. "thank you so much for the breakfast," you grinned, feeling a lump form in my throat. "it was really kind of you to get it for me."
on the other hand, jeemin who only understood the ‘thank you’ part smiles softly, telling you that it’s nothing and she’s willing to do it again and again for you. is she flirting now?
after breakfast, you and jeemin left the dorm room and made our way to class together. the sun was shining, and a gentle breeze cooled the air.
as we walked, jeemin chatted quietly to you, pointing out different landmarks around the school and sharing snippets of gossip about the other students. her English was much better today, and her pronunciation was slowly improving. and you couldn’t be more than proud. you listened intently, enjoying the sound of her voice and the way she would laugh softly at her own jokes. you couldn’t help but feel grateful for her presence by your side. in a place where you felt so out of place, she was a constant source of comfort and familiarity.
we eventually reached the classroom and jeemin led you inside. the teacher greeted us with a friendly smile and gestured towards the seats in the back of the room. you sat down, and jeemin took the seat next to you.
throughout the class, you found youtself stealing glances at jeemin. she was so focused on the lesson, her eyes fixed on the teacher and her notebook filled with neat, precise notes. you couldn’t help but admire her diligence and intelligence. and damn. she’s so pretty.
as the teacher droned on, you found your thoughts drifting away from the lesson. instead, your mind was filled with thoughts of jeemin — the way she always seemed to know what to say, the way her hair fell gently around her face, the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed. everything about her seems to make your heart skips a beat.
suddenly, you was jolted out of your thoughts by the sound of the bell signalling the end of the class. the teacher dismissed us and the sound of the other students getting up and packing up their bags filled the room. you looked over at jeemin, who was already packing up her things and getting ready to leave. you quickly packed up your own bag, eager to spend more time with her.
just as we were about to walk out of the classroom together, jeemin turned to you with an apologetic expression.
"i um dance practice," she said. "you go back to the dorm, okay?"
you felt a pang of disappointment at this news. you had been hoping to spend more time with her. but you nodded understandingly and mumbled a quiet, ‘okay’.
as jeemin walked off towards the dance studio, you turned and started making your way back to the dorm alone. the hallways felt eerily quiet and empty now that jeemin was no longer by your side. as you walked, your mind began to wander again. you found myself thinking about jeemin — wondering how her dance practice was going, what she was doing, and if she was thinking about you too.
you snapped out of your thoughts by the sudden impact of being pushed against the locker. ypit back hit the metal surface with a thud, and you let out a cry of surprise. as you tried to regain your bearings, you looked up to see who had pushed you. standing in front of you was a tall, bigger boy with a mean expression on his face. shit. you’re fucked up.
"watch where you’re walking, foreigner." the boy sneered at you, his eyes narrowing in a menacing glare. his friends stood behind him, snickering and whispering. seriously? he’s the one who suddenly pushed you against the locker.
"wait, you’re cute though." the boy grinned.
you was taken aback by the sudden change in the boy’s tone. he had gone from being hostile to calling you cute in the span of seconds. you couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or if he was playing some kind of game. his friends snickered again, watching with amusement as their leader continued to talk to you.
"yeah, she got a pretty face." he said to his friends, his eyes never leaving you. the way he looked at you made you extremely uncomfortable, his gaze raking over your body appraisingly. you tried to push past him, but he stepped in front of you again, blocking your way.
"where you going, pretty?" he asked, a smirk on his face. "you’re not trying to leave already, are you?"
you felt a pang of fear and anxiety. this boy was clearly looking for a fight or at least some kind of reaction from you. you tried to remain calm as you replied to him softly, "i just want to go back to my dorm."
the boy leaned in closer to you, close enough that you could feel his (nasty) hot breath on your face.
"and why should I let you do that?" he said, his voice low and taunting. you swear you’re about to piss yourself right now. this is too scary for you.
suddenly, you heard a commotion behind you, and you turned around to see jeemin grabbing the boy by his collar and pulling him away from you. she looked angry, her eyes flashing fiercely. that’s really hot though. wait what.
"what do you think you’re doing?" she demanded, her voice sharp. you does not understand anything because they are speaking in korean.
the boy looked surprised at first, but then a sneer appeared on his face. "relax," he said, trying to sound nonchalant. "i was just talking to this pretty girl."
jeemin scowled at him. "well, you’re done talking now." she snapped, her hold on his collar not loosening one bit. the boy opened his mouth to protest, but jeemin cut him off. "and if i ever see you bothering her again, you’ll regret it."
the boy’s expression darkened at jeemin’s threat, but he didn’t dare argue back. his friends shuffled nervously behind him, not wanting to get on jeemin’s bad side as well.
jeemin released her grip on the boy’s collar, giving him one last glare before turning to face you. her expression softened as soon as she saw the look on your face — fear mixed with relief — and she took your arm gently.
"come on." jeemin said, her voice calm and steady. "let’s go back." you nodded wordlessly, still reeling from the encounter. as we walked away, you couldn’t help but turn back to look at the boys one last time. they were still standing there, watching us go with expressions ranging from anger to grudging respect.
as we walked down the hall together, you felt a wave of gratitude towards jeemin. she had arrived just in the nick of time, saving you from who knows what kind of situation. you turned to her, feeling your throat tighten with emotion.
"thank you." you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper. " i don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shown up."
jeemin only smiled softly before gently ruffling your hair. she might not understand what you said but she can tell that you’re thankful for her for saving you earlier.
we walked in silence for a moment, the sound of our footsteps echoing in the nearly empty hallway. you felt a sense of safety and comfort in jeemin’s presence, knowing that she would protect you from any danger. finally, we reached the dorm room, and jeemin pushed open the door for you to walk in first. the room was just as we had left it, quiet and cozy. jeemin shut the door behind us and locked it before sitting down on her bed.
you walked to your own bed and sat down, feeling a bit shaken up from the encounter. you started to unpack your bag, trying to focus on something other than the events of the hallway.
jeemin sat on her bed, watching you closely. she could tell that you was still shaken up by what had happened in the hallway, and she wanted to ask if you was alright. but she wasn’t sure how to ask, not sure if you would want to talk about it or not. after a few moments of silence, she spoke up, her voice soft.
"you okay?" jeemin asked, her concern evident in her voice. in which, you only nodded in response. doesn’t really want to talk about it.
jeemin frowned, not fully convinced by your nods. "are you sure?" she asked again, scrutinizing your face for any signs of discomfort. "tell me. i listen even if i don’t understand."
jeemin’s words had an immediate effect on you, making your heart skip a beat. it was both surprising and touching that she was willing to listen to you, even though she might not understand everything you said due to her limited english.
"i’m just a bit shaken up from that guy in the hallway, that’s all," you sighed, your voice a little shaky. "he was being really aggressive and it freaked me out a bit."
jeemin nodded, her expression serious. even though she might not have understood every word you said, she could still pick up on the tone and emotion in your voice.
"i see," she said, her voice soft. "it must’ve been really scary for you."
you continued talking to jeemin, sharing more details about the encounter with the boy in the hallway. despite her limited english, her expression and body language showed that she was genuinely interested and listening to you. you could tell that she was trying her best to understand, even though there were definitely words and phrases that she didn’t recognize. as you spoke, you found yourself feeling more and more relieved. it was cathartic to be able to share what had happened with someone, and even though jeemin couldn’t fully understand everything, just having her listen and respond was comforting.
while you was talking about the encounter in the hallway, you noticed that jeemin had a small, amused smile on her face. you raised an eyebrow at her, not understanding why she was smiling at a story about you being harassed.
"i don’t understand but i love you."
you stopped talking mid-sentence, dumbfounded by jeemin’s sudden declaration. had I heard her correctly? did she really say “I love you” in the midst of your story about being confronted in the hallway. you stared at her, your eyes wide and mouth open in surprise.
"wait, what did you say?" you asked, your voice cracking a little bit. you was sure you had heard her wrong. there was no way she had said “i love you” in the middle of your story, right?
jeemin’s smile widened, and she repeated herself clearly this time.
"i love you." she said again, her voice calm and steady. "i don’t understand everything you are saying, but i know i love you."
your heart skipped a beat again at her words. she had really said it, you hadn’t misheard her. she had confessed her love to you, despite not fully understanding the words you had been saying.
you didn’t know what to say in response. you was both shocked and flattered by her sudden declaration, and you knew that your face must be flushed with color. you stared at her for a moment, trying to collect your thoughts.
"but why?" you finally managed to ask, still reeling from the unexpected declaration. "you don’t even understand what I’m saying most of the time. how can you love me?"
"language barrier won’t stop me from loving you."
jeemin’s words hit you like a ton of bricks. she was right — despite our language barrier, her love for you was strong regardless.
"but… how?" you asked, still baffled by her confession. "how can you love someone who you can barely communicate with?"
jeemin shrugged, her smile never wavering. "it doesn’t matter," she said simply. "language isn’t everything. i can see how kind you are, how hardworking you are, how much you care about others. that’s why i love you."
"i’ll learn english for you. i’ll do my best to understand you." jeemin smiled, gently caressing your hand. she brings your hand to her lips and press a gentle kiss on the back of your hand.
#jeemin#bang jeemin#jeemin izna#izna#iland2#izna x reader#izna x fem reader#bangjeemin x femreader#kpop#jeeseth#dew’s 🍈
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Thank you so much @rimeswithpurple @emeryhall @roomwithanopenfire @monbons @nausikaaa @artsyunderstudy and @martsonmars for the tags! You can definitely tell everyone is done digging themselves out of the holidays and countdown. I'm loving all the content I'm seeing.
I've particularly liked seeing some people's fandom's resolutions. It made me think of my own.
I spent a lot of last year trying to find a good balance between the things I'm obligated to do and the things I want to do. By the time the COC hit, I was in the mindset that the things I needed to do were too much and I had to skip COC this year. This made me incredibly angry and resentful. I hated that the thing I wanted to do was the thing I gave up. So, with spite fueling me forward, I did the COC and I'm so glad I did. But that did make me reflect on how I proceed.
I'm not going to overthink things. I'm going to do the things that make me happy. And what makes me happy is this fandom, the supportive people in it and writing. I need to lean on other folks for the things that are obligations. I don't have to do all the things, but I should at least do the things that bring me joy.
That being said, who wants to see a little of that joy?
Picket Fence blurb:
This happens again and again. An almost blowie in his kitchen, a hot and heavy grind on his sofa that came to an abrupt halt when his aunt stopped by, and one unfortunate tumble in his garden that ended with both of us thorny and grumpy. And look, I’m all for edging, but not like this. Not spread out over days and days and with no actual end in sight. I’m ready to explode. Literally.
A non-Carry On blurb (A Power Unbound Jack/Alan) :
“Apologies my lord,” Alan says back, breathing heavily into neck. “I wasn’t expecting you.” “Am I to understand you are always entertaining handsome men at your desk then?” “There was a handsome man at my desk?” Alan says cheekily. “I only saw you, my lord. Who could see anyone else once you’re in the room.” “You do not have to placate me,” Jack growls, frustrated by his own insecurities. “I know a younger, better man when I see one.” “You’ll have to point them out to me next time,” Alan says, catching Jack’s chin in his fingers and forcing him to look him in the eyes. “For I saw no one who could hold a candle to my stubborn aristocrat.” Jack has to close his eyes and absorb that last sentence.
I have something else that I'll be posting soon, but I don't want to spoil it so just know you'll see something soon-ish.
I've also got to start work shopping something for the COBB. If anyone has an idea I would not be opposed to a little jump start because I am stuck.
Ok, well, I feel this got wordy. Thanks if you stayed to the end. Here's some very non-pressure tags:
@ic3-que3n @dohrnaira @thewholelemon @facewithoutheart @imagineacoolusername
@shemakesmeforget @ivelovedhimthroughworse @wellbelesbian @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla
@blackberrysummerblog @supercutedinosaurs @nightimedreamersworld @valeffelees @iamamythologicalcreature
@shrekgogurt @ileadacharmedlife @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @hushed-chorus @youarenevertooold
@noblecorgi @talentpiper11 @bookish-bogwitch
#simon snow#baz pitch#carry on fandom#simon snow series#snobaz#snowbaz#carry on series#simon and baz#simon baz#a power unbound#the last binding#alan ross#jack alston
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2024 fandom review!
Thank you for the tag @phneltwrites
Fics Written
This feels a little silly to even include, but I wrote one story, which totaled 1,893 words! But I am proud of myself for pushing out of my comfort zone.
Fics Read
I feel accomplished in here! It may be surprising, but I don’t have the best system for keeping track of what I have read (I have a very good memory and a basic spreadsheet) so I would guesstimate, I have read about 550 stories this year.
I also contributed four themed rec lists- Wille’s Mental Health fic list- Simon’s Mental Health fic list- SECRETS fic list- CHEATING fic list.
Non-Fic Fandom Stuff
I went to 2 Omar concerts and I met fandom people in-real-life! 🤍 I also tried to connect with more people and I learned how to do/use-ish more tech stuff (I’m an elder so this is big haha). And I co-run a side blog!
Looking forward to 2025
Going to see Omar in Madrid!! And hopefully more shows and meeting more mutuals!
Some goals for this year -comment on more fanfic, make more lists and to get other readers to chitchat with me about stories!!
Thank you YR fandom! Happy reading and writing to everyone in 2025 💜
I don’t know who has already done this but no pressure @saynomorefic @grapehyasynth @pwdd1
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