#I’m gonna post about the trope on my meta blog

[dewwshi]

TRANSFEM DRIZZT MASTERPOST

breaking my usual “only art posts” rule on this blog to write a dissertation on a thought that has been on my mind since literally homeland. LISTEN. i'm gonna proselytize i’m honestly shocked i haven't seen anyone else say this before. i think drizzt do'urden is transfeminine coded, specifically trans lesbian coded. and i have EVIDENCE. (WALL OF TEXT UNDER CUT)

for the record i'm gonna use he/him pronouns for drizzt in this largely because that's what he uses in canon but i feel like he would for sure switch to she/her or something if he did transition. but i feel weird talking abt characters with pronouns other than canon ones

i'm transmasc so for transparency when i speak abt transfem experiences it's from what i have heard and learned from transfems and take all generalizations with a grain of salt blah blah blah nuance vanilla extract be normal please

also i'm currently only on spine of the world. i have no idea what happens in later parts of the series so my evidence is only from books i’ve read + be forgiving if you know smth i don't + try not to spoil too much thank you BUT ALSO I WANNA KNOW what people think on this sooo yea tell me :heart:

OKAY NOW after all those qualifiers. i'm sorting my evidence into a couple categories:

character evidence (about how being a girl would fit into drizzt’s narrative)

relationship evidence (about how drizzt’s relationships are enhanced by/contribute to his girlitude)

and miscellaneous meta stuff & wording evidence (aka wishful thinking)

CHARACTER/NARRATIVE EVIDENCE

firstly. we MUST discuss the backstory. the childhood trauma.

drizzt's primary backstory, i.e. his childhood in and abandonment of menzoberranzan society, places him in the position of someone who is “too soft” and “too weak” for their society and thus becomes ostracized and outcast. this is a REALLY transfem coded position to be in.

in our world transfem kids get ostracized for not being masculine enough and for being a “sissy.” the situation is obviously pretty different in matriarchal menzoberranzan (“girliness”/femininity is not considered a flaw there the way it is in prevailing attitudes in our world) but the parallel still holds

i'm sure everyone remembers the “you’re a dancer” scene. despite excelling in combat, drizzt (at least pre-melee-magthere) is considered too weak and soft for menzoberranzan even by zaknafein, again framing him as being (by surface standards) more traditionally "feminine" than the rest of menzo men

and YES "you're a dancer" is a complicated scene with a lot of emotional shit going on for both characters but my point is specifically that drizzt's alienation from his society REALLY resembles the alienation that a lot of transfem children experience

for the record he is also very autistic. 100% autistic i’m on that wagon all the way. just to put it on the table

but anyway the queer coding is extremely strong here. the other way you could read the “dancer” gncness drizzt exhibits is as gay coding (many of the same tropes and narratives apply to young gay boys as do to young transfems). i have a couple reasons i prefer the transfem reading though

gayness is not treated the same in menzo. bg3 confirms romantic relationships between women are standard fare in menzoberranzan; my hc is that the same is true among men

that's an explanation from the world's perspective though, not from a meta/writing perspective. to me drizzt's infatuation with women (We'll Get To That) makes him read more like a transbian than a gay man though

anyway back on topic. something the books (the ones i’ve read so far at least) don't really talk about but SHOULD is the relationship with gender (and women specifically) that drizzt would have been left with from his upbringing.

menzoberranzan culture holds that women are above men and that men are inherently worse. you can't just forget something like that after living in a place where that's simply a fact of life for 30 years. lots could be said on that and i think it must have had an effect on how drizzt views women

however to focus on the trans thing let's state the obvious: menzoberranzan gender roles are RIPE for transmisogyny. it’s a society of terfs. the gender roles are SO defined and SO exclusive that an assumed boy even trying on feminine clothing would probably get physically abused. not so different from parts of our world shrugs forever but for a different reason like i mentioned; it's not “girl shit is gross what are you, gay?” it's “how dare you, a filthy man, attempt to partake of womanhood, which you would sully with your very touch” AND AGAIN. THAT SOUNDS LIKE TERF RHETORIC DOESN'T IT?

i think drizzt would have been left with a deep-rooted sense of shame and self-consciousness about gender (as he was about basically all parts of his identity for the record) and i specifically think that a clear parallel can be drawn between those feelings and the transmisogynistic ideas common in our world, in particular the idea that trans women “steal/appropriate womanhood.” in menzoberranzan’s case the idea is more like that “womanhood is a privilege to which men (who are lesser) have no claim.” 

drizzt seems to generally feel like he doesn't deserve to have things he wants, he doesn't deserve to be happy etc etc. and i think it would make peeeerfect sense for that to extend to gender. that he has to learn that he can and is allowed to express his gender freely

then there's the graduation ceremony.

in a journal entry in spine of the world drizzt says the reason he was so uncomfortable with the melee-magthere graduation ceremony was because 1. he didn't wanna do drugs and 2. because Casual Sex Is Bad And You Should Be In Love Before You Do Sex (he's so. repressed. beautiful stupid baby) and while i for sure think those ARE both PARTS of his discomfort, i think i have a bit of extra sauce to add.

consider: the graduation ceremony's purpose (in addition to being a fun light-hearted celebration by drow standards) is to enforce a specific social/sexual gender role onto the young graduates of melee-magthere (clearly the most desirable sexual partners for noble drow women).

that gender role is specifically placed in opposition to womanhood. there's matrons, and then there's patrons, just like the surface world has husbands and wives

i’m thinking that while drizzt is and is written as being HEAVILY attracted to women (again We Will Discuss This), “pretty lady's boytoy” isn't a gender role he's comfortable inhabiting, and so he felt reflexively bad being forced into it.

of course the social role of men in menzoberranzan isn't a nice position to be in even at the best of times but i don't think that was what was on his mind at the time!! what if part of the reason he was so instinctively against partaking was because he rejected the gendered social role placed on him in that moment, a reminder that melee-magthere, and the kind of warrior role he'd been trained for, is for boys alone?

leading from that. in siege of darkness drizzt imagines what catti-brie’s life would have been like in menzoberranzan if she was drow. consider how easily he chooses to imagine her going to melee-magthere instead of arach-tinilith even though the former is boys only. this is SOME kind of gender fuckery for sure. i'm thinking some part of him feels that melee-magthere (and the kind of combat training taught there, which drizzt excels at) isn’t or shouldn’t be for men exclusively. he enjoys being a warrior and he's good at it, but, for him, that warrior role is DISTINCT from a masculine gender, even though in menzoberranzan it wasn't distinct at all.

i find that drizzt being transfeminine boosts the hell out of all of his other “fuck you"s to menzoberranzan society

not only is he an insult to the way of lolth by rejecting it in favour of empathy, but he's going in the face of the entire gender system of menzoberranzan. just totally blasts it. i feel like it adds a whole new layer to his rejection of the lolthite way of life

of course that's an argument you could make of any queer reading of drizzt as a character but i feel like it hits hardest with SPECIFICALLY transfem drizzt. one brave tgirl's Exodus From Terflandia.

but even then when he does come to the surface, he finds himself alone and apart from society. 

in the early books’ world there is no place in surface faerûn society for a drow, it is designed to exclude him the exact same way existing binary cisnormative gender structures are designed to exclude queer people.

drizzt has to start off on the complete fringes of society and then carve a place and home for himself with like-minded people who love him and who he loves. that's exactly what queer people have to do too. is leaving the underdark a metaphor for coming out??? i guess so.

CAN WE TALK about the shit with the mask of disguise in the halfling's gem? THAT SHIT IS TRANS AS HELL!!! again autism coding runs parallel hand in hand here but like.

“you have the choice to suppress who you are in order to fit into wider society. now will you do that, or will you live as someone visibly outside the norms? is it enough to know no matter what, you will still have your loved ones who accept you no matter who you turn out to be, to know that you will be happier if you let yourself express your true self?”

THAT'S THE QUEEREST SHIT EVER.

also drizzt's fixation on personal freedom makes a lot of sense (a lot more sense than it does as in-canon imho) if you read him as trans. in menzoberranzan he would never have had the freedom to do with his body and presentation what he wants.

being able to be the person he wants to be seems to be a central concern in his mind, for himself. he doesn't just have an “i don't want to kill and torture people” objection to menzo culture, but an “i want to be able to choose the life and identity that i want for myself” objection

as it stands in canon the reason why he's so fixated on this isn't clear (so far at least). it makes more sense if he is transfem, and growing up in a system where he was actively prevented from pursuing his own tgirl happiness left him very invested in standing against that

on a meta level the “freedom is the most important thing ever” thing kinda is weird to me (it's very “can you tell the author is american”) BUT it becomes a lot BETTER if reinterpreted as “my old government wanted me dead for being transgender, so i think everyone can do whatever they want forever”

some of the general stuff about drizzt's queercoding in this section is pretty general but i veeery much think specifically transfem drizzt makes the most sense and adds the most to his character and story. and that's what the post is about. so yeah

RELATIONSHIP EVIDENCE

this section is abt drizzt's relationships! wahoo

1. CATTI-BRIE

ok so there’s a lot to say about catti-brie and why i consider their relationship a lesbian one and how i think drizzt's attraction to and love for women reads as extremely trans lesbian in nature.

bringing back that thing about shame from earlier. drizzt has, as he has in all things, a tendency to be ashamed of and suppress his own emotions in terms of romance.

the way he thinks about his attraction to catti-brie reads a lot like the way a transfem with a lot of internalized transmisogyny and lesbophobia might feel abt her attraction to women:

he acts guilty and embarrassed and tries to keep it a secret, to avoid talking about it, to avoid expressing his wants in any way at all

he's also afraid of being punished for it. think back to his stuff about women in menzo. he feels like he's not allowed to feel this way about women OR - HEAR ME OUT - HIMSELF. to me, a fear that he is encroaching on womanhood (both as a participant and as an enjoyer) is a very natural source for that shame

note that it’s specifically when she isn’t looking. ashamed!

drizzt in that excerpt assumes that bruenor would berate him even though he SHOULD KNOW bruenor trusts and likes him enough to fully give them his blessing. also drizzt blushes immediately after this and acts all flustered about it. ashamed!

in siege of darkness (during the "but for now, friends" scene) drizzt does tell catti that he’s in love with her- and follows it up immediately with “it’s no big deal, don’t even worry about it, i can totally just repress it forever if you’re not comfortable with it” (GUT WRENCHING SCENE THAT THREW ME OUT TO THE CURB BTW. AUGH). it's a COPE. he's terrified of being punished or rejected or ridiculed. i think all of those fears tie deeply and specifically into gender- his own, and hers too.

lesbian culture is known for a level of near-rhapsodic adoration for women and i see that in drizzt. the way he talks and thinks about catti-brie is insanely sapphic. basically every time he thinks about her he’s thinking shit like “god she’s the most beautiful and the best and i would die for her and there’s nobody in the world like her” this is truly a kind of infatuation lesbians are famous for. 

are there men who think about women like this? yes of course. is it a cornerstone of wlw culture to a degree that casts even the most cisgender of those men as almost gender non-conforming? i would say yes.

he spends so much of this scene fawning over her that i don’t even know which parts of it to include

i could keep going but listen the point i’m trying to illustrate is that he’s fucking SMITTEN with her okay? and it's EVIDENCE he is a woman i swear to god this is facts and logic and makes sense THIS IS LESBIAN BEHAVIOUR!!!!

AND THE SLOW BURN. the slow burn is lesbian coded as well. wlw stories are LEGENDARY for the extended periods of mutual pining that they often feature. pining is basically a classic feature of lesbian romance.

catti-brie and drizzt spent SIX FUCKING YEARS on the sea sprite together in the time skip between siege of darkness and passage to dawn, the ENTIRETY of which drizzt spent HOPELESSLY IN LOVE with her, and they did NOTHING together. if pining was a song these motherfuckers would have gone triple platinum. and that? oh BABY, is it yuri to me

i could make a whole other post exclusively about a lesbian reading of catti-brie and her relationship with wulfgar being comphet. honestly i could make a lot of posts about catti-brie she's insanely interesting and i have SOOO many thoughts about her. but suffice it to say: i think she’s gay as hell

for the record you may be thinking “okay he’s just in love with catti that’s why he’s like that” true but he is also fascinated with and identifies himself with a lot of the women he meets on the surface. and of course there is The Guenhwyvar Thing

2. THE GUENHWYVAR THING

let's discuss The Guenhwyvar Thing

you guys remember the fucking poem from homeland? about how beautiful and incredible guen is? literally the first time i saw that i was like “this is the most tgirl shit i've ever seen.”

are you guys seeing this??? “you, girl panther, are how i feel inside, i wish i could be you for realsies." reflection from mulan core. on all levels except physical i am a giant female panther

the fact that drizzt is so utterly enamoured with, again, a Female magical panther reads as extremely transfem coded to me. i truly feel like guenhwyvar's gender is a core facet of why drizzt adores her so much.

drizzt's relationship with guenhwyvar is – and was from the beginning – a place where he could freely admire and relate to femininity without shame.

guen’s femininity (by virtue of its animalness and magicalness) is very different from the femininity of menzoberranzan’s matron mothers. drizzt grew up in with an exclusive and abusive femininity that left him as an outsider, always unable to partake of or even genuinely admire womanhood. but he always wanted to and, when he gets the chance, he does. HARD.

i maintain a headcanon that if drizzt were to play dnd with the companions of the hall, he would play a conspicuously female druid every single time and never explain why it had to be a woman. but i know. I Know Why it has to be a woman.

3. ARTEMIS

god the queer reading here is sooo potent. here's my thoughts

artemis and drizzt’s struggle (at least as far as i've read) is one of a person who pursues happiness even under the risk of being outcast or hurt by society, and a person who has suppressed the need for happiness to secure survival. this can be easily expanded to a queer context:

artemis is closeted or stealth, dismissive of his own queerness. he sees an out and proud drizzt, publically living as a queer person, pursuing queer happiness. (not that drizzt is actually out and proud as a tgirl BUT HE HAS THAT ENERGY! LIFE COULD BE DREAM)

in other words artemis sees drizzt living a life that he (artemis) subconsciously decided long ago was impossible, unattainable, something he had to give up to survive. a kind of life that he hates his own desire to have. he hates drizzt for being happy in a way he wants but has decided he cannot have and thus nobody should even try for. he envies him.

you may be thinking “that sounds a lot like the dynamic drizzt and artemis already have in canon” EXACTLY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

i really enjoy transmasc artemis who's been stealth since age 10 but i'll admit i'm not as dedicated to that headcanon as i am to transfem drizzt. idk where he's getting that beard from. maybe the crime guilds of calimport have access to magic hrt

bet when you started reading this post you weren't expecting kalvin garrah artemis entreri

anyway the point is that artemis’ redemption arc is the journey from he/him transmasc to he/they transmasc. DOESN'T HE JUST HAVE HE/THEY ENERGY?

MISCELLANEOUS EVIDENCE

this section deals a few other little random things that don't mean much but boy do they add spice to my life

UNICORN SYMBOLISM. drizzt's ranger symbol is a unicorn. a symbol of mielikki of course but also perhaps the most feminine of all mythological creatures and he chose it specifically to represent himself as well. and as a ranger/ nature guardian drizzt occupies a very typically feminine role. like who speaks to animals often? disney princesses do. my girl drizzt is a disney princess deep in his heart and i know this to be true.

now last but not least these ones… these are clearly unintended from salvatore’s pov but i find them FASCINATING

supposed to be a reference to his age i think BUT STILL HOLY SHIT? HE SAYS THAT. DRIZZT HIMSELF OBJECTS TO BEING CALLED A MAN. I'M DOING A LITTLE HAPPY DANCE THIS IS THE GOLD STANDARD FOR TGIRL HEADCANON EVIDENCE

let’s parse this okay because it’s pretty weird and confusing wording. the hag says it is “not for any man; it’s for two and only two” and those two are catti-brie and drizzt, implying NEITHER of them is a man.

the second half conspicuously shifts from “man” to “male,” again avoiding calling drizzt a man and implying he may be male (biologically), but he ISN’T a man. it’s also kind of tacked on to the end, to single drizzt out. almost like the hag was like “shit they’re not going to figure out who the other not-man is so let me add this second thing to it”

and yes of course the author-intent reason it’s phrased like that probably has to do with the word “man” which is sometimes used in these books to mean “human” HOWEVER given that everyone there immediately assumed “no man” referred to catti-brie (who IS human but NOT a man in the gender sense) supports the reading that it does mean gender

IN CONCLUSION

i think drizzt do'urden is a tgirl. i’m just about 100% certain this was not RAS' intent but nonetheless i think a reading of drizzt as transfem based on the evidence present in the books both makes sense and adds a lot to his character AND the other characters AND the story and themes. basically he’s a girl. thanks for readingg

[watch-grok-brainrot]

can i enquire your opinion on what i perceive as misuse of the words "zhiji" / "zhiyin" by western authors? it's often translated as soulmates, or even used synonymously, and for wx, often in romantic situations to fulfil non romantic soulmate fic tropes. i often get a bit frustrated by it. zhiji and zhiyin are both bosom friends, people who get you, appreciate you but they are not the western term of soulmates. what do you think? seeking perspectives to shape my opinion!!! thank you!!

nonny! I am so sorry! I meant to answer this the week you sent this and then i kept on getting sidetracked and forgot. >.> this is why i don’t get asks. i’m terrible at answering things. 

First of all, for those who are reading this and not nonny, i’m assuming you are either familiar with chinese or have read the blog post by @/hunxi-guilai by now. If you are not chinese and/or have not read her blog, go to her blog and go to linguistic meta and then read the post titled “ all right guys, let’s have a conversation about soulmates ” (gonna delete the link if i can’t get this to show up in tags since this is a nonny ask i want nonny to be able to find this... )

ok. now that we’re on the same page, let’s talk about translation. translation is messy. cultures don’t have the same concepts. when expressing words as complex as 知己/ 知音, you do what you can. 

do i think soulmates is an acceptable translation? yes. i would not hesitate to call wangxian soulmates. 

Is 知己/ 知音 inherently romantic? no.

do i think the connotations of 知己/知音 and the connotations of soulmates match perfectly? no. 

am i fine with fanfiction authors writing what they want? yeah. if i don’t like it, i just won’t engage with the material. it’s the idgaf of old age that i’m really glad i acquired. i can just nope right out and go find something i prefer. e.g. if i see a baobei in a wangxian fic, i usually nope right now. it’s not worth getting worked up over. lol. 

yes 知己/ 知音 are bosom friends but it’s deeper than that, right? 

Actually, i’m really glad i’ve waited. I’ve just binged Word of Honor (or what eps are currently out) and they toss out 知己/ 知音 a lot -- as they should. The show is spectacular (thus far 25 of 36 eps are out and i am dying at how amazing the main CP interactions are). Basically my heart is full of  知己/ 知音 mood so i think i can do a better job of explaining what it means to me now. 

To me, 知己/ 知音 is knowing someone/hearing someone so deeply that your souls are in sync. It’s being open and vulnerable. The mortifying ordeal of being KNOWN and/or HEARD. it’s joyous to discover that your eccentricities are understood implicitly. it’s stolen cheeky grins and stupid laughs that makes you feel alive again. It’s precious and rare and if you get one person in your life that REALLY knows/hears or tries to know/to hear you, you are lucky. this can be part of a romantic or platonic relationship. 

someone wants to call that a soulmate? sure. by all means. 

But if I were to see it in a novel or show I was trying to translate, I may translate it differently each time. The beauty of translation is, as the translator, I have the power (and the terrible responsibility) to interpret a work. My choices will be the text moving forward. My diction, if the only translation around, could be overanalyzed by a portion of the fandom. So would i always translate  知己/ 知音 as soulmates? no. Sometimes I might say say, “You’re the only person to know me truly.” or “To be truly heard in this life by one person is enough.” or I might say “soulmate” sometimes. 

so, i guess i do agree that soulmates limits the translation of the concept. but if you’re watching a show and there are subs, the subbers have more than meaning to worry about. you have to consider characters per second: 1) physically focusing on words with one’s eyes and then reading them takes time; 2) some people are much slower readers than others. (subbers also have to consider sentence structure and how to breakup a lines. and, depending on the show, sometimes the subs come out at an INSANE pace. it’s approximately 3-4 hrs of translation work once you have the chinese in front of you for a 20ish min ep if you’re being neurotic and probably just as much if not more of timing work to get an episode out. not to mention the translation checks and quality checks. so sometimes shortcuts are required... but i digress...) Is soulmates a good, succinct way to get the message across? yes. so i’m fine with it. and if it captures peoples’ imagination and brings someone joy, then even better. 

fandom should be fun. it should be happy. it should be a place where you grow and meet people that bring you joy. :) so am i upset that it’s the preferred translation of the mdzs/cql fandom? not really. it’s not perfect but it’s good enough for fandom (and horseshoes and hand grenades as people would say). 

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Love Poison 2 Ep 3 - incomprehensible plot, confusing characters, terrible audio, I’m dropping this one. 

Second Chance Ep 2 - they are my adorable babies and I LOVE THEM. Must protect Jeno at all cost. Chris, come on, boy needs you. (They’re the jock/nerd pair.) Then there’s the friend-to-lovers (Paper & Fah) and cafe cute boys (M & Near). We got artful injury tending (finger & lip) and some jealousy or something. Is the script good? Hell no. Is anything happening? Nope. But I’m INVESTED in the nothingness. 

Lovely Writer Ep 7 - mostly set in the past, but the child actors they got were decent. I actually liked how they explained Sib’s behavior (I mean losing your BFF + figuring out you’re gay at the same time gotta mess with your head). We got touch my lip, carry baby to bed, let’s sleep facing, face touch, hair touch, and a hand kiss as well as The Kiss. With so many intimacy and caring tropes, I’m well pleased.  BONUS: NO SOUND EFFECTS. Please make then have fired the sound tech. OHPLEAESEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 1 - I like it. Might as well break the 4th wall if you’re gonna do a voice over. Some super cringy moments but I think that’ll improve post makeover. Yet again we have a BL poking fun at its own tropes. 2021 is definitely the year of meta. Oh and Phuwin’s English is really good. 

Call It What You Want Ep 1-2 - it’s slow and more arty than I expected. The actor playing the main character looks eerily like Up (Gene in Lovely Writer) + an ex of mine - it’s disconcerting. 

Brothers Ep 10 - my two got together and ARE ADORABLE. I actually really like how they dealt with Khun’s seme ownership freak out. That’s some sexy communicating, boys! So many couples (and triads) I’m well confused, but I only love KhunKaow so no one else matters.  

Y-Destiny Ep 2 - cute, bit raunchy, kinda fun, about a million tropes in one tiny ep. I’m getting So Much in Love meets something from Strongberry. No bad thing... no real good thing either. But I was expecting a lot worse. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai 

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 4 (AKA Ep 7-8) - I don’t wanna blog about it. I can’t even think about it. I’m still gonna keep watching it. Conclusion? I’m trash. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 22-24 - Wen is as much as a drama queen as Gene (in his own special way). Most of his past is now revealed plus obligatory bathing scene. (Is Gong Jun contractually obliged to be topless in all his dramas or is it just for the good of the planet? Asking for a friend.) A good 60% of the time I have no idea what is going on (so many names! who is this Lovelace putz allasudden?) but I don’t care cause they so pretty. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 3 - didn’t drop this week, or was it only 2 episodes? I’m so confused. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - It’s GREAT, they’re great, everyone’s great, the world is great. So pleased to get Shu Yi and his dad talking Japanese. I love it when Taiwan makes use of bilingual actors (see Because of You) almost as much as them flexing their marriage equality muscles. The full circle pool kiss was adorable and this series is officially a favorite. (@heretherebedork your boys don’t end unhappily but they don’t get an HEA either, everyone else does. I think you’d be okay with this one.) 

Stand Alones 

Tell the World I Love You (Thai BL movie) released into theaters? Or not? Haven’t heard anything about it. 

Breaking News 

Bite Me got a full trailer and it looks GOOD. Mark Siwat seems to be carrying this one, which is fine, we all know he can (especially if you’ve seen his non-LBC stuff). Quality controls seem relatively high, although this may only be a fund-raising trailer. No eng subs at last check but I’m disposed to be hopeful. It feels like we are in Oxygen territory and that was one of my favorites last year. 

You’re My Sky dropped what they’re calling an “official pilot.” No eng subs. I think this is a tester trailer to raise funds. MDL listing makes this sound like a standard college BL, but trailer portrays a sports romance. Stars almost-familiar new faces from Y-Destiny. It’s like we have a new crop of BL actors chomping at the bit to take over from MaxTul or MewGulf, and with the 91 line aging out*, maybe they aren’t wrong? 

* Don’t crawl into my craw, they’ve most of ‘em said they don’t wanna keep doing BL after turning 30 and frankly, why should they? 

Gossip 

Nitiman dropped BTS from their publicity shoot. No eng subs. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

Spring Line Up:

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22.

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu

I joined MDL under this handle AbsoluteBL. Find me there if you like, currently it’s just ratings, tracking, & three lists: 

Japanese BL & Live Action Yaoi Manga

Korean BL

Taiwanese BL

[awfulwhumpsideblog]

Introduction post

Thought I should make one of these. I’m Chris and basically this is a blog to share prompts and writing and stuff, with a focus on angst and hurt/comfort.

I really like fantasy and medieval settings with knights and royalty and stuff. As for plots/characters I like trickery, morally gray shenanigans, and generally convoluted nonsense.

Ask box is always open for requests, questions about me/my writing/my characters, song recs, basically anything.

(Gonna put the rest under the cut so I don’t have a novel at the top of my blog)

General Original Content Tags:

#ramblings: for my silly little thoughts

#ask: for responding to the creatures that visit my ask box

#whump prompt: for my whump prompts

#writing prompt: for writing prompts that aren’t necessarily whumpy

#whump shitpost: for dumb whump jokes/drabbles

#whump community: for meta posts about whump as a genre and its community

#my ocs: posts about my ocs

#whump ocs: posts about ocs (some shared) from whump-focused stories in particular

Specific Original Content Tags:

#remrev: short for “Reminiscent Reveries”, an oc universe of mine that follows the stories of many characters who inhabit the fantasy continent of Eugaria. Humans can use magic, memories last beyond death, dreams are all connected, Earth itself is dying and its twin is already dead, ghosts poison people, and there are glowing mushroom forests. 

#your son darius: a collab story between me, J whump-mania, and S girlsjustwannadrawwhump, in which the main character Darius is abused by his boss, the noble Alastor. Things get more complicated when he catches feelings for his abuser’s son.

#cerovell stories: an oc story of mine about Marlais, a knight who has to take care of a mysterious dragon who was kept in horrid conditions by the noble Matthias who is now on the run. 

Reblog Tags:

#wretched tag: posts with wretched and evil auras

#girlboss tag: posts for/about cool and sinister women

#despair tag: posts that encapsulate the unbearable pain of continued existence

#kino trope: posts about writing/story stuff that inspires me

#kino: posts I really like in general, usually other people’s writing

Other blogs/accounts/pages:

@ceroscopies is my main. Likes/replies/follows come from there and I reblog misc funnies

@cero-reblog-spam is something I made two minutes ago for the sake of reblogging anything and everything as to not crowd my other blogs

My twitter is @ceroscopy

Here’s a giant list of all my Reminiscent Reveries OCs

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[klug]

ok im gonna pester you about puyo. i dont know anything about puyo! give me some info on a few of your faves! and where i would start to check out puyo and see what its all about!! >:3c

oh my god THIS IS LIKE SOMETHING I'VE BEEN WORKING ON ON THE SIDE... because people do like..write beginner's guides on how to get into the series but the Language Barrier is kind of fucking insane. I've been into it for a long time and even I'm not sure about everything, mostly because a lot of extra materials, esp. older stuff, isn't...actually translated

The TL;DR version of the series' history is that it started as a Japanese dungeon-crawler called"Madou Monogatari" (or Sorcery Saga in English) for like personal computers developed by Compile. Not many of these games are patched into English, but there are a few! Which you can find here. They're actually really fun and super retro so I do recommend checking out the patched stuff. So...since this was successful, the developers made an action-puzzle spin-off, akin to Tetris, of this dungeon crawler which...ended up far, far, far, surpassing the original series' popularity. That was Puyo Puyo.

After some financial mishandlings on Compile's end, the property got bought by SEGA and this is probably where most people recognize it because of the unique art style:

Anyway, it's a puzzle game franchise now with a pretty strong Japanese competitive scene (video is in Japanese but you can get an idea of the gameplay from this)

IMO...knowing where to start is...hard. I started with Puyo Fever, the fifth game in the series, when I was a kid because it was localized outside of Japan. I do recommend this if you want a feel for the series' humor? It's very short! Feels VERY much like a game you'd find in an arcade, right down to the cheesy voice acting.

That said, the actual "first game" in the series is, well, "Puyo Puyo" which was released in 1991. The current "competitive" meta is based on the sequel. And it's been largely unchanged since then.

I think the most beginner-friendly games are as follows:

- Puyo POP for GBA (has an English version)

- Puyo Puyo Fever (has an English version as mentioned above)

- Puyo Puyo Tetris 1 and 2* (these both have English versions and are multiplatform) *I recommend these with some caution, as the title implies these are crossovers between Puyo and Tetris and introduces a lot of characters exclusive to "Tetris" due to copyright. They're continuous with one another (and with the main series imo) but you can watch the story of Tetris 1 on YouTube and pick up Tetris 2 if the spirit moves you. These should all have ROMs available online, at least the first two.

I can't write too much in this post without getting EXTREMELYYYY long-winded and I've already failed at keeping this concise, but you can send me more questions about this LOL it's my favorite series considering that I (try) to help with translating the games with some amazing translators on this blog.

I'll close this off with my favorite characters:

Strange Klug who is my poor little fucking meow meow who is everything to me and I feel bad for her all the time (she's a guy in canon but she is a trans girl in my heart). She's a demon who was sealed in that book to the left of her because of a sick prank someone played on her. She is usually stuck in there, but can be unsealed under the right circumstances (usually by Klug,who is coming up, because of course) She's my...favorite villain. Embarrassingly. Unfortunately her lore has been shelved since her debut in 2015, so any appearances she's made since then are fanservice :"D.

Klug, who is my blog's accursed namesake (as well as my own, sometimes) he's a student who loves dark magic and well...unsealed a demon because he thought it'd bring him power. He's stupid, screechy, does anything to inflate his ego, and is probably one of my favorite characters to think about in the franchise.He hasn't really been relevant for a while and is mostly a background, supporting character, but I still like him lol

And then, not necessarily my favorite but she IS essentially the series mascot: Arle Nadja. She's a 16-year old mage who originated as a protagonist in Madou Monogatari. In those games she crawled through dungeons, fought monsters and devils, fought off Satan multiple times, and is generally just trying to chill with her BFF (bunny friend forever) Carbuncle and find something delicious to eat on their adventures.

She's probably one of my favorite fictional characters Just in General for just subverting a lot of RPG tropes like being a mage rather than a fighter, being a girl (this is a big one), and always managing to fight off her Baited Love Interests (also a big one. acearo Arle ftw) lol. She's toned down a LOT in her current iteration so she comes off as a bit bland, but she's still a fun straight man whenever she gets stuck with her friend group

[katierosefun]

Heyy, just wanted to say I LOVE your stories (and all you headcanons and tags hehe) I'm new here and wanted to ask how and when you started writing fanfiction for star wars and if you have any tips 😊

hello! thank you for the kind words :’) and of course, welcome!! 

so if we want to get really technical about things, i started writing star wars fic like,,,,waaaay back in 2013, and i kinda cringe a little when i think of those fics now because lol i was thirteen years old then--and i wrote for a little while until maybe 2016-ish? and then took a break because of mental health things, and then got back into writing fic in the past year and a half or so! 

as for the how, i wanted to write star wars fic mostly because as a thirteen year old, i was devastated by the season five finale (back then, that was when the show just got cancelled and the season five finale was the only series finale we were gonna get!), and i just kinda wanted to write all these stories about the tcw fam actually being happy. filling in the gaps and all. (lol considering how my gut reaction to the tcw season seven finale was also to write as much fic as possible, i can safely say that some things just don’t change.) 

as for tips! i got a little into writing gen fic specifically here, but as for writing fic in general: (and under the cut because i,,,as usual, went off for a while.)

1. rewatch/reread source material! this is something i usually do when i’m trying to refresh my memory on a certain episode--i won’t watch through the whole thing, sometimes i’ll just kind of jump around, but i like to get some quick look back into the source stuff to put myself in the right headspace to explore how to extend/expand the story somehow. 

of course, if you’re writing something that’s an AU then you don’t really have to worry about this, but!! rewatching the source can also just be super helpful when you’re trying to characterize properly/try to get a feel for what the characters’ voices are like. 

2. wookiepedia is your  best friend, but if you don’t have enough info on something, either search through fanon star wars meta or!! just make up something on your own! like, i cannot tell you the amount of times i’ve wanted to tear my hair out because i couldn’t find enough information on x or if i had to stop and be like “wait, but does star wars even have y??” sometimes, wookiepedia is helpful for providing those answers, and other times, blogs like @gffa really provides a big, broad look at all the stuff in star wars, and her blog kinda runs like wookiepedia itself, so i can guarantee that you’ll find some useful stuff if you’re ever kind of lost about what certain jedi customs/culture or in general, what different cultures were like in the galaxy far, far away. 

but also, as i’ve mentioned, i think it’s okay to just kinda ignore the technical stuff and just make something up in star wars as you go along. you don’t like that glass in star wars is called transparisteel? then use glass. you’re not sure if star wars even celebrates the new year? screw it, why not? you’re the writer--you get creative license!

3. there is no such thing as “too much” of one trope. so, idk if you might struggle with this, but just in case you do--sometimes, fic writers will hit a wall and be like “no i can’t post this because so many people have already written about this/used this trope/etc.” to that, i say pffft, nah. there’s a post floating around here on tumblr about a cake analogy and how like,,,to you, you might have just brought another cake to a party with already so many cakes, and you might feel kinda embarrassed about that, but to the large majority of people? all they see is more cake, and who doesn’t love more cake? 

what i’m basically trying to get at here is!! write whatever you want and don’t worry about if someone’s already done it, because everyone in fandom lives to see their favorite storylines expanded over and over and over again/everyone lives to see their favorite tropes used over and over and over again. fic is wonderful for that very reason, and you shouldn’t deprive yourself of enjoying that. 

4. this might seem kinda trivial, but spellcheck and formatting is...mostly important. the unfortunate thing about fic is that sometimes people will click out the second they see a huge block of text like so: 

“this is just a practice run,” i say as i start this paragrah. i don’t really know what i’m writing about but this is an example, and i know that this is probably going to look really, really ugly on the screen but here we go oh the things i do for explaining fic i already know that this has gone long enough but who is to stop me you know? wait no i haven’t made any spelling errors yet to prove my point so okay let me think of a common spelling error i can’t think of any right now but hm let’s see i will causally say that i have made a spelling error. oh look! i have made a spelling error (well, not a spelling error, more like a mix-up of words) because you can tell that instead of writing casually which would be more correct i wrote causally and those two are very different things. but there are other spelling errors that can sometimes be a turn-off for readers like when they notice that the k in kenobi isn’t capitilized and once or twice that’s all fine and most people will overlook that, but if you do that consistently then most people will be turned off and click into another fic and oh dear it seems that i am actually explaining things so i guess that means i should stop with this ugly paragraph and actually move forward. “move on!” i shout to myself now. (and just pretend that something like this continues for a good two or three pages.)

do you see how ugly that is? it’s an eye-strain to most people when they read, and you can write the most beautiful fic in the world, but if the formatting and the spelling is off, then most people will move to a different fic. (which is, again, unfortunate, especially for younger and newer writers, but! ‘tis a thing that comes with fic.) 

5. have fun! don’t get yourself caught up with appealing to the crowd. write what you want to write first and foremost, because at the end of the day, it’s you who’s putting in the work and the effort to craft a story, and if you’re about to invest your time and energy into anything in your free time, then it should be something that brings you at least some joy and comfort. so go on and write, and keep writing if you enjoy it! no one can take that away from you. 

hope that all helps!! 

[bellamyblake]

so I saw some posts in the bellarke tag (from a few bellarke) saying how season 6 bellarke was terrible and that Bellamy was out of character and would never do the things he did for Clarke that season.. and that he was bland, and the cpr scene could’ve been any sappy couple, but like ?? I loved season 6, and I thought Bellamy was in character (as opposed to season 5 where they barely interacted and had any big emotional talks after 6 years of thinking she’s dead and ugh s5 to me felt the least like them) i mean to me him doing anything for her seems like something Bellamy would do? Look at the all past seasons and all the sacrifices and thing he did for her and how protective he was over her for any little thing! I feel like Bellamy leaving everyone to save clarke would be something that would happen? And him basically in tears trying to save her as she’s dying in front of him pleading that he needs her seems in character and something they would do and it felt special and sweet to me :/ how was Bellamy bland for doing the most he can to save someone he loves?? Idk, s6 was one of my favorites for how actually romantic it was and it bums me out hearing some bellarkes hating it. How do you feel about it? Do most of the fandom think it’s ooc and Bellamy’s bland?

I think the most important fact to begin with here would be that you gotta understand something that was also a little hard for me to understand at first but that I learned fast when I got into the fandom and that is that-

Nobody judges Bellamy Blake more than his own fandom.

Literally.

I’m even gonna be as brave as to say that the pinapples might not even know what to put on his shoulders besides season 3 to blame him for every mistake but we can. We absolutely can say the worst things about him and call him anything.

You know back when I got in the fandom that was season 3 and that was the WORST time to join but haha, silly cute lil me, I knew of so many blogs and Bellamy and Bellarke fans who HATED Bellamy and refused to understand his actions which yes though questionable, were at least supposed to be put under the microscope and understood.

I knew people who hated season 2 Bellamy too which was such a surprise to me, those were mostly original season 1 fans who said that he was *too  herioc* in season 2 and it *doesn’t fit his character*.

So after that, like season 3 and everything (and after Bob explained how much was missed on and not told and the better part of the season which made some fans show some mercy towards his character), I decided myself that I’ll always step back, think over everything that happens to him with as clear of a head as I can and decide for myself. 

I kept doing it to the end which is also why I am the only one in the fandom who didn’t call him ooc in s7. But THAT is another subject.

I think what I mean here is that nobody and I believe that wholeheartedly is more rude or more brutal to Bellamy Blake than we are. I often felt like we as a fandom hated him more than any anti can and it broke my heart. Most of all what broke my heart was the blatant refusal to understand him or his actions.

I think after season 1 people just had this image of the bad boy rebel king with soft heart who lets Clarke and the 100 in and that was it and that still sells most to these days in fics and amongst the fandom. 

That’s literally where they stopped and they refused to add anything else to his multilayered character in their heads.

ANYWAY-

You asked about season 6 and I LOVE season 6 despite most bellarkers not being fans of it. I think here it comes again a lot to fandom and how the said old gen bellarkers refused to like season 6 bellarke because apparently it wasn’t written as well, the dialogue was bad, they kept recycling stuff, I’ve seen this over and over and over again but for me, personally season 6 was a whole ass trip from beginning to end that is just that-

a love story.

His love story to Clarke.

I think through it he manages to achieve in his heart what he never got to do for her in season 4 and season 5. I have had a few friends at the time who thankfully felt the same way and we discussed the fact that-

season six is filled with all the romantic tropes that we as bellarke writers (and old gen bellarke) KEEP WRITING but complain that we never actually had

WHICH WE DO????

but somehow it is not good enough for them. 

So to answer your quesiton, no, not all people in the fandom thought it was bad, but I feel like again as before with just bellamy and season 3 there was this PUSH as if on purpose, to hate this, to condemn it, to call it *not the same*. I understand what they say that yes they are not entirely the same people and here comes my next point-

THEY ARE NOT!

and newsflash-

THAT IS FINE.

I think a majority of the people refused to accept the fact that they grow as characters and they have layers added to them just as the story grew and went from one planet to another. I think not everyone can accept that and that is fine, I have no problem with that I just wish it wasn’t just so blatantly hated.

I personally think that the CPR scene is where they PEAKED in all aspects. THIS is the most they’ve been truly romantic I believe that and that it is actually expressed in the DESPERATION with which he saves her and her waking up and throwing herself in his arms. Also let’s not forget his lips touching hers which for us is like basically sex.

And after that scene came out I saw a lot of hate and I was so surprised, mainly on twitter from old bellarkers, fic writers who said LOL what a dumb scene, haha he can’t do CPR right and i was like WHAT-

WHAT-

WHAT-

COME AGAIN?

You were okay when she peckered his cheek for 0,02 secs and left him all the fuck alone in season 2 to deal with EVERYTHING and the kids but this is-

BAD FOR YOU?

HIm reccassitating her and begging her and crying and his own effing sister seeing his break down and then managing to get to her, to make her to pull through and her coming back and throwing herself in his arms IS BAD?

I mean I literally died there and it is still my favorite moment.

I know nobody would agree with this but I still think this is the best one. The hugs were great but at some point how many hugs can you have?

This was more. This was so much more and I loved it.

I think also there is something else when people call some scenes blind and that is that Bob was in a lot of pain filming that because of his injury. He literally couldn’t walk and had to redo some scenes from the beginning of the season back in the end when he was a little bit better so it is clear that it is very hard for him to do this but he still does his best imo and by the time the CPR scene comes he clearly is much better and it shows in his acting too (which is also why i personally love his acting in s7 it shows so much how when an actor takes care of themselves, takes a step back, recovers and comes back he literally crushes it but AGAIN i am a lone wolf in that aspect)

Anyway, here is my advice:

1.Stay out of the tags;

2. Find people who you enjoy seeing on your dash to follow and who do fit your interests in terms of the show.

3.Don’t read ppl’s opinions, frankly, don’t listen to anyone, not even me in that ask if it doesn’t sit right with you. Instead find your own thoughts and emotions. 

When I first got in the fandom there was so much meta and meta blogs and you dk the hate I saw in our fandom when it came to bellamy or the wrong discorse about his actions so I just unfollowed them all and did my own thinking. 

That’s what i advise you to do!

Thank you for your question, sorry for the length!

[furubabes]

Okay. Somebody Asked. @shoujobell and @cryptidaicat, y’all encouraged this. I’m gonna tag this #long post if you wanna filter.

So here. I got the urge to write and so I ranked the Fruits Basket couples from my favorite to least favorite. These aren’t my complete thoughts because I could honestly do multiple full meta posts on each pairing, but I tried to justify and explain all my choices. Standard disclaimer, this is subjective and we can agree to disagree.

Part 1: Just the reasonably popular ones

1. Kyoru: Someone’s gonna call me unoriginal for this but it’s fine. Kyoru is the main romance of Fruits Basket! They bring out the best in each other and build each other up as characters. Kyoru is basically my gold standard take on Sunshine Girl x Grouchy Dude, and I’m not even usually into that trope otherwise. Their romance is one of the few that feels so genuinely necessary to the story. They love each other and like each other. Kyo understands Tohru in a way no one else in the narrative does, and vice versa. They’re in love like soulmates and also like awkward teenagers. Kyoru invented romance. If it’s boring to like healthy romances with realistic development, I’ll be boring.

2. Tohrin: If Tohru didn’t end up with Kyo I would only want her to be with Rin. I guess they have some of the same appeal as Kyoru for me - Rin reads Tohru in a way a lot of people don’t. I also like how honest and raw they are with each other. They yell! They fight! Rin is down to just straight up knock Tohru over to keep her from rushing off. Also, they’re both absolute fashion icons. Goth x Prep rights. I firmly believe Tohru Honda is bisexual.

3. Yukeru: This is my favorite Yuki pairing. I followed @yunsoh way back when the reboot first started and her blog has got me absolutely hooked on Yukeru. I think Yuki’s arc would have just made a ridiculous amount of sense if he was gay. It screams comphet. Kakeru is an excellent complement to Yuki, and their bond feels incredibly natural. Honestly I feel like it’s the most organic romantic development outside of Kyoru. I think realistically they wouldn’t have gotten together until post-canon and frankly Yuki shines in his friendships much more than romances, so I’m not absolutely dying for them to be together, but if Yuki’s going to date anyone Kakeru is my pick.

4. Arisaki: Man... I just like them. They strike me as less of an epic love and more of a comfortable partnership. I also read them both as lesbians anyway lol. Honestly I think they both had feelings for Tohru at one point and bonded over it. The way I picture them happening is honestly just Arisa at 25 frantically googling “is it gay to hold hands with my girl roommate who I spend all my time with and also we never date men“ because Saki bought them rings that look like wedding bands but they could just be super close friendship rings and oh god she’s in too deep. They’re dating for four years before they notice.

5. AyaMine: But Jessie! You literally never post about this pairing! Yeah, you’re right. I never think about them actively. But when ranking the canon ships I realized that I like the two of them together because they’re chill and understated. They’re huge loud personalities on their own but as a couple, they just feel like two people who are happy together and like spending time with one another. No drama, no mess, very understated. No plot contrivances driving their relationship. Good for them.

6. YukiKyo: Okay, so I can be convinced to put on my YukiKyo goggles more often than not. It feels iffy because there’s debate about how closely related all the Sohmas are and these two are called “cousins” a lot in school, but since half of the Sohmas are dating each other anyway, I err on the side of them being more of a clan than a proper blood family. Anyway, YukiKyo is my designated angst fuel. I think it would realistically be pretty one-sided from Yuki’s side, since we see him wanting Kyo’s approval from a very young age, but I like exploring the what-ifs of their lives if they’d been friends instead of rivals. In canon, I like to think that after high school they’re not best friends in the traditional sense, but either one could show up with a dead body and the other would help them bury it, no questions asked.

7. Yuchi: Really? Yuki’s wife is my third favorite pairing for him? Look, I adore Machi, and I still like Yuchi. But as I’ve been watching the reboot and reading others’ metas, I think I agree that their relationship could have been very powerful as a platonic one, sort of running parallel to Yuki and Tohru. I like them together but I think there wasn’t quite time for a complete character arc for Machi and her growth sort of begins and ends with Yuki. I don’t object to them being a couple in canon and I think they’re genuinely very sweet, but once again, I think Yuki stands out in his friendships more than anything. I would have liked to see Machi strike out on her own a little more.

8. Haru x Yuki: I don’t have any particular feelings towards them but I love their dynamic already and I think as a couple they’d both be really easygoing and comfortable with each other. I think a childhood crush turned close friendship is honestly the narrative that works best for them so I have no need for the two to date canonically, but every time they interact in the anime it gets a laugh out of me. They’re cool. They’d make a very pretty pair.

9. Mayutori: I’m Mayutori-neutral. I think they suffer from Fruits Basket’s pair the spare syndrome, but out of the side pairings that don’t have too much impact, they’re one I enjoy. Mayu’s fun as a character, and painfully relatable, and I like that Hatori’s eventual romance isn’t with someone who reminds him of Kana or something like that. I also want good things for Hatori. Mayutori has serious heterosexual energy though. I’m not saying this as a pro or con, they’re just very straight.

10. Hatsuzu: Okay, Haru and Rin aren’t this far down because I hate them. I’m perfectly fine with them being together in canon. But I think their romance almost... functions better as individual motivation for their character arcs than it does as an actual relationship, if that makes sense? Rin’s backstory episode is heartbreaking and her motivation to protect Haru is compelling and sympathetic, but their actual scenes together just don’t move me that much. Their romance is the least interesting part of either character for me.

11. Hiro x Kisa: Yeah I never got into it that much. It’s cute, it’s a sweet depiction of childhood crushes, but I’m not a fan of the idea of them ending up together. Kisa’s a cutie and Hiro is entertaining but the two of them together don’t actually do much for me. The dynamic between them is almost like if someone did Kyoru with none of the nuance. Ultimately though, they’re kids. I don’t expect them to have a deep and complex romance.

12. Yukiru: I think it would be a disservice to their characters if they were a couple. People far more eloquent than me have already written plenty of meta on why Yuki and Tohru aren’t what the other needs romantically, so I won’t get into it, but basically I just think their canon friendship is so beautiful and meaningful that I wouldn’t want to change it. Yuki and Tohru support my thesis that not all soulmates are romantic.

13. Tohru x Momiji: Welcome to the subjective dislike corner! This pairing is reasonably popular among people theorizing who Tohru would be with if not Kyo, but for some reason it just sits poorly with me. I can’t rank it any lower because there’s nothing evil or morally wrong about it! I just really don’t like it. I’ve quit a few fics because this pairing came up and I just can’t enjoy it.

14. Kakeru x Komaki: Idk, I just think Kakeru latching onto the one girl who was nice to him and put up with his bullshit and then being with her forever isn’t compelling. Komaki’s also probably his beard. She’s likable as an individual though.

15. Akigure: There’s plenty to say about the age gap, Shigure being in love with Akito since she was a fetus because of The Dream, the implications of a 15-18 year old knowing he’d one day want to be with a then-10-year-old... yeah, you get it. But even if I was able to put all that aside because Soulmate Destiny Logic, I still don’t think I’d like Akigure. I think they’re interesting as bitter, codependent exes, but I don’t like the idea of Akito ending up with anyone who she abused or who abused her. I think she has so much growing to do as a character and staying in a relationship within the Sohma family to do it can’t be healthy for her. I can’t see them living happily ever after, nor do I really want to.

16. Kurisa: I think what frustrates me the most here is that I want to like Kureno and everything about this romance is written to dull his most interesting traits. First of all, the age gap. Yeah, it’s gross, I don’t like it. But even past that, the love at first sight, instant fixation with each other, and lack of actual chemistry just kills me. Arisa’s stated reason to like Kureno is that he reminds her of Tohru, basically piggybacking off the chemistry she and Tohru already have, and his total lack of agency means the plot just sort of carries him along. It frustrates me that Takaya could have done something pretty cool by making them simply friends who have a chance encounter and then build a friendship from there that parallels Kureno’s abusive dynamic with Akito. It would be neat if a stranger’s kindness was the push Kureno needed to get himself out of the Sohmas’ grasp, without all the nonsensical drama about them being in love. It would also be less of a disservice to Arisa, who basically just spends the whole series pining for Kureno after they meet and I hate it. I could write a whole post about this. Maybe I will sometime.

17. Kyoko x Katsuya: I don’t think their story is romantic. I think it’s tragic for Kyoko, and if it were framed that way within the narrative, I wouldn’t object so much to its existence. But... Takaya just really likes age gaps with a younger woman and an older man, so the narrative romanticizes this man marrying his student. Katsuya can be depicted as well-meaning as you want, but he’s still got a ridiculous amount of power over Kyoko. She was also still pretty young when she had Tohru, which doesn’t make things any better because it’s clear that the relationship turned physical when Kyoko was a teen, thus dashing the idea of Katsuya legally marrying her to save her but not actually doing anything creepy. I wish Fruits Basket framed this as a story of Kyoko escaping one dangerous situation by entering a relationship with a huge power imbalance, because that happens to girls all the time and it’s tragic and compelling. The events of the story could stay the exact same and if the framing changed I would be fine with it. But this is not that. This is just a really romanticized teacher/student age gap. I’m not into it.

Part 2: Rarepairs, weird shit, and others (oh my!)

1. Yuki x Kakeru x Kimi: OT3. I’m enamored with the idea of this hot mess polycule.

2. Momiji x Kimi: Chaos meets chaos. This couple would say uwu without any irony and also steal your car keys. They’re both perceptive and smart hidden under a layer of cute and I’d wanna watch them play 4D chess with each other.

3. Kazuma x Kunimitsu: Idk how old Kunimitsu is so if he’s like 20, strike this one from the record. But I saw one post once that was like Kyo slowly realizing Kazuma and Kunimitsu were gay and had been dating for years and it was funny as hell.

4. AyaTori: It’s cute. Opposites attract, black and white hair, and Aya only listens to Hatori anyway. It’s just fun to think about.

5. Megumi x Hiro: They don’t interact in canon I just think Goth x Punk-Ass Bitch is a great concept.

6. Motoko x Nao: They’re both loud as hell and Nao having a gf that towers over him is funny. Maybe Yuki would finally get some peace.

7. Machi x Kimi: I don’t see them actually being compatible in canon but I think they could have a really homoerotic college friendship.

8. Hajime x Mutsuki: This is just YukiKyo, the non angst version.

9. Akito x Hanajima: I’m so wary of shipping Akito with anyone but this is kind of fun. The two are friends in canon and Hana isn’t remotely afraid of Akito. Plus Akito never abused Hana. I can sort of see it.

10. Hiroshi x Yusuke: Makes no sense, wouldn’t be relevant, but if those two just never spent any time apart and continued being a pair for life it would be a really good bit.

11. Akitohru: I don’t think it’s healthy to date anyone who’s previously stabbed you.

12. Kazuma x Hanajima: Stop. Go to jail. Hana’s one-sided crush is funny though.

[thetiredstuff]

Watching the panel through live blogs, let me see if I've got the gist of it.. so Misha loved his characters goodbye scene, but also knew that he was supposed to come back in some capacity but can't directly tell us more, just that it wasn't a bury your gays situation.

He loved the emotional climax of Dean's death and how Jared and Jensen acted it out.

He said he didn't know how the episode ended but now is worried the fans will disappear?

But he can't talk about it.

So help me out here, did he ever actually comment directly on the ending? Did he give his opinion on it? Or just comment around it.

(feel free not to post this, I'm just sad and frustrated all over again) 😔

Hi! Okay so I’m gonna be honest: I’ve spent the last 5 days (since the finale) on every social media platform (basically reading through the tears of sadness lol) and I’ve seen the panels and everything and I remember almost nothing of anything hahaha so I’ll try answering this to the best of my abilities. 

Misha loves the fact that he was able to get Cas saying “I love you” in a romantic way. For him, finally being able to actually confirm a gay Cas means a lot to him because he knows how much it means to fans. 

It’s speculation if Misha was supposed to be back as Cas in the finale but story-wise it’s pretty clear he was supposed to be in it. However, he can’t confirm that because he signed NDAs (just like every actor does) that will still be valid for an unspecified time period. 

My speculation: I doubt it was supposed to be a bury your gays' trope because Misha said that they went to Jensen about Cas’ confession and if Jensen didn’t like it, they wouldn't have gone through with it. To me, the only reason why they’d have to ask Jensen about going through with it would be if his character would say something back. I just doubt that they intended to go bury your gays because it is extremely well-known as awful and lazy writing and I doubt bobo would go for it if they couldn’t subvert it and bring Cas back in a way. But alas fucking CW. 

He cried watching Dean die because he saw Cas’ friend die. He praised Jared and Jensen’s acting but nothing about the storyline of that episode, outside of that scene, was mentioned. 

Misha said he hadn’t read the script of the finale and ep 19 (which I’m not too sure about because we know he was in Vancouver probably for the finale so he had to have read at least part of the script for his scenes)

A lot of meta writers/fans have speculated (and I agree) that the actors probably didn’t know that certain scenes would be cut. I mean we know Misha was in Vancouver during covid filming even though the CW tried to scrub all the evidence. Misha has always been afraid of fans disappearing, he’s been pretty vocal about that since the ending of the show was announced. But now he’s seen how hurt fans are. And they have all seen it. It’s too big of a portion not to see it. 

And (I’m speculating) I’m pretty sure they’re devastated as well. The devastation and sadness that’s been going around are so hurtful and bone-deep that it is the kind of hurt that would make fans disappear from the fandom. Misha knows that and so he was always afraid of the fans disappearing. This shitty finale that made absolutely no sense and that left so many people heartbreaking and angry probably makes/made him even more worried about fans disappearing. 

But yeah he can’t talk about the OG ending, he can’t talk about having filmed in Vancouver, he can’t talk about Destiel because they went ahead and basically shot that dead (again fuck the CW), he’s even being vague about who came up with the idea for the bloody handprint, he can’t mention the fundraiser The Castiel Project for the Trevor Project that’s been started by fans to donate money to and that almost raised 50.000 dollars. 

He can’t talk about any of it because all of that would imply that the ending was shit or was cut severely, or they stomped out the queerness etc. As long as he has an NDA he won’t say anything cuz he can’t and even afterwards.

(again this is me speculating) Misha has always been treated poorly by some factions of SPN/the network. For a guy who saved their rating in season 7 and who managed to get the show to 15 seasons (together with J2), he’s always been shunned aside by some. He is a pretty selfless and grateful guy so I doubt he’d go right out and say something. Maybe but I think he’s also aware of how much it would hurt the fans to know what they did to his character and destiel (we kinda know through speculation but we don’t KNOW)

Jensen is probably the one who’d open his mouth more, surprisingly. He’s extremely diplomatic in how he carries himself in this industry which is gonna get him far but his lack of posts since the finale speaks volumes. It’s a silent protest. He’s also got the NDAs. 

but (I’m speculating again) Dean is something Jensen takes extremely serious. I’m pretty sure he saw bi!dean (with ep 18) and understood that it made sense for dean as a character (which is why i think Misha said that comment about Jensen not liking it would mean it wouldn’t happen). 

Jensen already had trouble with the ending all the way in the beginning (probably dean dying). He then likely supported Destiel or at least the implication of it (ep 18). Only to then find out that all queerness was erased (which I’m guessing he saw that queernes as serving the story), Misha who played Cas a fan favorite was also erased, and Dean died (he cares a tremendous amount about dean and doing right by him). And all of that has been getting some severe reactions of people being extremely hurt. 

(Again I’m speculating) but J2 have been praised by Pedowitz for ages, and I think that all of that really soured Jensen’s view of people involved with the network that previously had his back. Jensen has been the most vocal already with his dissatisfaction with the finale/the way things were handled. Just look at his social media likes and the absence of both Jensen and Misha in the Thank You videos. 

He’s being vocal by being silent. 

Both Jensen and Misha and their characters fell victim to the CW trying their damnest to stomp out the queer. And wow did they do a brilliantly awful job at it. 

Jared you’re not gonna get anything for years because he has Walker which is on the CW so he has to keep those people happy. 

I just wrote a mini-essay again lol hahaha 

I’m sorry you’re sad and frustrated. I feel it too. Today was the first day I didn’t wake up and start crying immediately, so it does get better it’s just gonna sting for a really long time. Just know you’re not alone in your feelings. 

This ending sucked and it sucked because it didn’t make any sense. It came completely out of the left field and it was a complete injustice to the characters, the actors, and the fans. We all deserved better. 

Also: I’m not in the know so this is mostly me speculating. I hope I made that clear with all the brackets. 

[edwardslostalchemy]

the thing that kills me about bakugou is when the plf go "having a powerful quirk means i'm better than you"and basically advocate for eugenics, it's horrible and corrupt, but when bakugou does it, it's lol funny and 'oh that gremlin.' in a recent chapter he made fun of the past OFA holders for having 'weak' quirks and dying and he said these things in front of Toshi, who has himself given so much. just...what was the point of him knowing about OFA if he was just going to be a disrespectful ass?

I have no idea why it was necessary for him to know, tbh. I think it was a waste of an opportunity to give him growth by NOT telling him. And honestly, I agree that k*tsuki and the plf have similar ideals because they’re elitists. :/ They think they’re better than others. Unironically, the lov wanting k*tsuki on their side would have been like, them all sharing this same thought. Idk, I just don’t like him. The things he says and does are played off as comedic relief now and it’s honestly so annoying. He needs to be brought down from his pedestal. 

(I have multiple messages so I am putting them all in one post under a read more, I hope it works, but if somehow it doesn’t, I’m really sorry. My computer says it works, but mobile doesn’t show it. This will be a long post.)

Anonymous said:

You know... I wouldn’t mind Bakugou winning vs Ochako so much if his blast had simply redirected enough rubble for him to make it though the pelting, and the fight had ended with an actual visible inflicted injury on his part, like a cut on his face, that stuck around for the rest of the tournament. Make the close call have more concrete, visible consequences for him then his arms aching a bit.

I agree with this completely. That thing about his arms aching doesn’t show much of the consequences at all. And he gets over it rather quickly. I hate that he has so much plot armor.

Anonymous said:

Ngl i dont ship Todo/deku (dont really ship Izuku with anyone lol) but its such a nice ship like?? People can ship what they want but why ship Baku/deku when Tododeku is RIGHT THERE. I would rather have todo/deku be the twin stars like.. Todoroki having to overcome his fathers legacy and be a better hero then his father ever could be while Izuku perpetuates all mights legacy and carries the legacy of One For All?? Poetic cinema

+ I SENT AN ASK ABOUT PREFERRING TODO/DEKU TO BAKU/DEKU AND I WANTED TO ADD SOMETHING SKSKS. we could totally have an "its your power" moment. Izuku getting Todo to accept his left side and Todo getting Izuku to remember that OFA is his power now.

Todo/deku is really the poetic cinema we need and deserve. Idk why people like b*kud*ku, that’s what they prefer, but the ship itself is not healthy in the slightest and I find it pretty disturbing. I agree with you, nony. Everything you said is correct.

Anonymous said:

If I'm gonna be honest the whole "he was raised in a household of screaming and abuse" isn't a good enough reason as to why Bakugo has no chill. Like we've seen people like Todoroki raised in a household much worst but he didn't come out as a jerk or bully. I'd like to see more of Bakugo's interactions with his parents but for the most part the dad seems like a pushover and his mom is just loud at times. But no where close to Endeavor. So yeah Bakugo shut up challenge

Yeah, idk how their dynamic works, it’s just mitsuki screaming at k*tsuki while his dad tries to intervene, but doesn’t do a good job about it. I don’t like that she smacked his head. But I think people really stretch it to give him a tragic backstory when in reality, he doesn’t have one. He is a spoiled brat. Shouto has proven how to be a better person. He’s just a better character in general.

Anonymous said:

This might be long but I want to get something off my chest and I love your blog so I used to like bk//dk. If you asked me why. It's because I was enamored by the fanon ver of this pair with a better bkg and the whole appeal of childhood 'friends'/reconciliation trope it had going on and some fans have convinced me that their relationship wasn't as bad as it's portrayed before UA and that bkg was only like that because of society and thinking Izuku was "looking down" at him. 1/3

Thinking about it. it's really stupid and the verge of victim blaming but anyways. What stopped me from liking it and instead hating the pair is that after dk vs kc 2 I was expecting the improvement in their relationship, for a moment I thought we got it. But in reality it's just bc we haven't seen them interact much after the overhaul arc and before the joint training arc.Then the joint arc came and the 2nd internship arc came and whoo boy, I feel like I was cheated on. 2/3

Rather than making bkg's behavior improve towards Izuku, He's still as much of an asshole who belittles him, mocks him ,acts like he can't stand him but less threats of killing him combined with Izuku who just takes it because he's a nice person. But the narrative acts like their good friends now and I have been feeling so frustrated with this, I wanted a mutual relationship with mutual respect on both sides and bk//dk hasn't reached that part and it shouldn't take this long for it to be. 3/3

Thank you for sharing this with me, nony!! I appreciate it. It’s really sad that their relationship hasn’t improved at all. It’s so long overdue and now things are played as comedic relief like him hurting Izuku with his spike and also being extremely disrespectful during the ofa meetings. Their relationship isn’t healthy and it isn’t friendly, no matter how canon wants to paint it that way.

Anonymous said:

the only reason bkg gets to know OFA is because he guilted Izu into telling him a half truth in S1 then guilted AM and Izu with his tantrum in S3 He also had the privilege to know Izu since childhood and saw AFO so he had the advantage Izuku would have never told him otherwise. Same time Izuku's friends don't "deserve" to know about OFA, rather, Izuku deciding to tell them himself will make the revelation to them more special since its Izu deciding to tell a piece of himself than being forced to

HOT TAKE

@havocsss said:

i just wanted to say i appreciate your opinion on bnha about bakugo (bc someone finally said it 👀) and you put into words for me how i feel abt that character - and that's partly why i just can't watch it. he's the bully that everyone idolises and gets let away with murder and naaaah mate that's not how it works

Thank you, I’m glad to hear it. I don’t like that he, a literal bully who has suicide baited Izuku and has hurt him with his explosion quirk, is the fandom’s favorite and the most popular character. Literally any other character would have been better to stan than him. He’s everywhere and I can’t enjoy part of the series because of him always being there. It’s so annoying. I will continue to yell about why he is not a good character until horikoshi gives us the development he desperately needs AND an apology to Izuku for being so abusive to him. And yes, bullying is abuse.

Anonymous said:

I know that feeling. I also greatly dislike Bakugou. He almost ruins the manga for me at times. I can't even think of a plot with Izuku where Hori won't try to include him in some way. I tried reading metas abt him, tried to look at him in a different light but I realised that I really hate his personality, combined with his overhyped popularity just makes me can't stand him. I wish I could even just be neutral for him but that's being a challenge.

Yeah, he’s not a good character. Very infuriating and annoying. We do not stan him in this house.

Anonymous said:

I feel like if Aizawa actually knew that Bakugou used to bully Izuku he'd probably whoop Bakugou's ass

OOF I’d like to see him expel him.

Anonymous said:

I like how it's framed like I'm supposed to feel sorry for Bakugou because he feels manpain for not being the strongest in the class. Like the dude went from a regular school to the best of the best and he still expected to be the strongest person there is with no challenge?

Awww, is the spoiled brat sad? Good. He can die mad about it.

Anonymous said:

If Aizawa did the combat training instead of All Might he would've stopped Bakugou the first time he used his gauntlets and automatically failed him and I really wish that would've been the outcome

Tbh he should have been expelled for trying to kill a classmate.

Anonymous said:

Oh yeah I remember that character entrance when he just basically I insults his partner for training. Look I love the kid but if I was a teacher I would've flamed him so hard like there could've been a hostage, that weapon could have went off, his partner could've been captured. That's how you ended up failing the license exam

OOF. When will he learn.

Anonymous said:

Um excuse the ever living fuck out of me but I just saw a fic that was bakugou/consequences where Izuku attempted suicide and you know what the ship was?? My pure green son who deserves the world and his literal bully/abuser are you SHITTING ME???? I try very hard not to hate ships I do really try but I just CAN'T with this ship it disgusts me

It's not a healthy ship. I am disturbed by this fic and I don’t even know what it’s called and I don’t want to know. Eww.

Anonymous said:

I see myself as Izuku cause I relate to him a lot and I just read something where Bakugou does what my abuser did to me to Izuku and now I'm having a very hard time stomaching the thought of him and like I really loved kiri/baku too but now I can't even think about it cause someone who shipped my notp thought it would be a good idea to make Bakugou an abuser and give Izuku Stockholm syndrome ☹

Oh nony…I’m so sorry to hear about that. That really sounds rough and I hope you’re feeling better. That sounds awful. I’m just…I’m appalled. Also giving Izuku Stockholm syndrome with this ship is just. Wow.

[huckleberrytm-a2]

𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄 𝐌𝐂𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

a pretty important meta to my portrayal.

so if you haven’t figured it out already, my portrayal of jesse is pretty much just a mash of western tropes and popular western media, so i’m gonna talk about those things at length here. also a lot of general headcanon housekeeping/accumulating important things to know. buckle up.

the individual vs. the community.   jesse consistently flip flops between being a loner and being a part of the community he’s presented with at that given time. he constantly drifts between those lines, and it’s mostly by his own design. this is the most apparent with blackwatch and post recall overwatch respectively. it isn’t that he doesn’t want to truly be part of a community, because he does, but he doesn’t know how. he is a killer, a thief, and overall isn’t a very stellar person. he doesn’t know how to be normal, he hardly even feels like a human most of the time. he doesn’t know how to adapt to normalcy or pretend to be something that he isn’t, but he does care and tries to act in the best interest of the people trying to accept him. it isn’t for lack of trying on their part; it’s jesse. he presents the illusion that he is part of the group when he knows completely that he isn’t, and never will be, and then takes back off on his own once the trouble is over. more often than not, he won’t even introduce himself completely to people as a means of keeping a layer in between them; he rarely introduces himself as anything other than MCCREE. he will not let himself forget what he is, as much as the longing for community tempts him - know that it is very hard to keep him around unless he has a very specific reason. a man has to be what he is.

you can’t be a bad person and expect good things to happen to you.   so this is an arthur morgan quote, if you didn’t know. i take from red dead here and there in terms of characterization. jesse lives by this quote in particular almost to a t and fully believes that  1) he is not a good person, as characterized by his rough past and that there is no redemption for that, and  2) that his lack of goodness has contributed to the bad things that have happened to him. the loss of his arm and his eye, though devastating to him, also seemed fair to him. blackwatch falling apart seemed fair to him. losing everyone he’s ever cared for seems fair to him, even though it realistically isn’t. it’s going to take more than your muse chanting YOU’RE NOT BAD JESSE!!! at him for him to get that. this is deeply ingrained in his sense of self and it’s going to take a lot of careful, thoughtful work to undo that.

he lives by his own code.   jesse is a vigilante bounty hunter; he punishes people in need of punishing the way that he sees fit which, more often than not, is death. his main source of income is hunting down rapists, pedophiles, murderers  ( ironic? )  and other violent criminals. he doesn’t care for the justice system. he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. he does what he believes will protect people best; they can’t re-offend if they’re dead. even if submission means there will be less people at risk, that’s what he’ll do. take the train hopper comic, where he straight up gives talon what they want so as not to endanger any more civilians. his stance on this is unmoving, and he will get nasty if you try to argue it with him. this is probably the one thing he doesn’t retain SOME kind of open-mindedness for.

jesse does not exemplify the ‘idiot southerner’ trope and if you insinuate that he does on this blog, i will smite you.   jesse isn’t stupid. he was smart enough to co-run a highly successful gang as a TEENAGER and then was accepted into a covert ops unit, aka blackwatch. he hunts people that professionals often CAN’T FIND for a living, and he does it well. you have to be pretty damn smart to handle all that and the fanon interpretation that jesse is an idiot is a huge pet peeve of mine. he does have moments of cluelessness in some social and slice-of-life situations just because he doesn’t hang around people very much, but he’s incredibly smart. he often feigns stupidity and flirtiness to get people to underestimate him or think little of him, but it’s just that: an act. he’s not dumb, nor does he want to fuck everyone he meets, nor is he a ‘fake cowboy’ who doesn’t know what a horse is. please respect this because it drives me absolutely bonkers when people follow me expecting any of those things in my portrayal.

[paintedrecs]

@mad-madam-m​ tagged me in the “list 5 OTPs from 5 fandoms” meme a couple days ago, which I laughed at her for because (a) she knows my otps FULL WELL (b) our lists are very nearly an exact match (which i am by the way delighted about because half my list right now is full of rare pairs, and I have never before known the hell of treading that landscape alone)

but!

I’m gonna do the meme and double it up as an announcement of what I am currently into and what you’re likely to see on this blog if I start picking up my activity levels a little.

I honestly have no idea how active tumblr is at this point - how many of you are still around, and how many of you I might lose if I start reblogging my other fandoms in addition to Sterek - but after doing a Pillowfort experiment for a while, I think I’ve finally figured out how to use social media again in a way that works better for me.

My old method, before tumblr kinda imploded and fandom got weird (filled with antis and ship hate and constant infighting, ugh why), was to create a separate blog for everything I was into, which is why I have appreciatederek, appreciateshiro, appreciatejack, and...is that it? See, this is why I need to stop scattering myself into a zillion different pieces.

So I’m going to consolidate more (like I do on twitter and now Pillowfort), and also hopefully get back to my fandom roots: digging into more meta, like I did 8 years ago when I first fell in love with Sterek, and posting fic recs, like I also did thanks to Sterek. (And sharing my own fics as I write them. Guess which fandom pushed me down that path, too.)

So it’s fitting that the first ship on this list is...well, an obvious one.

1. STEREK (Teen Wolf)

Y’all know this one. Sterek will always, always be the OTP of my heart. I love their dynamic. I love the creativity and passion of the fandom. I love that they brought my writing back to me and introduced me to so many of you.

I still have dozens of Sterek fic ideas; quite a few of them are partially written or have significant outlines, so at some point I will still be writing them. Life is just, as you know, very busy and very tiring and it’s so hard to fit everything into my days. I’m working on it, I promise. 

I’d like to start doing more updates with snippets of my upcoming fics, maybe a lil Q&A if anyone wants to chat about what I’m working on/my thought process behind what I’ve already written/what you’d like to see from me, etc. Interactive fun stuff! Sterek fandom is still the best and most supportive fandom I’ve ever been a part of, and it makes me happy every time I’m reminded we’re all still around and thriving.

And here’s some of the other stuff I’m into right now...

2. XANATOWEN (Gargoyles)

I have been sailing this ship entirely by myself since January, recently joined by the aforementioned M, who also created this gif for me while she was still in the patient “I’m your friend, I will listen to you yelling about this show” stage. (ha ha ha look at her now, that’s what you get)

I’ve been genuinely holding myself back from spamming tumblr with my thoughts about this show and this ship, which I’m beginning to realize is...maybe silly. I’ll still try to keep it a little bit balanced, but you can definitely look forward to more Gargoyles on the horizon, including:

Fics - 30k so far, with another 4.6k that I’m hoping to post this afternoon, after I look over it and decide if I still like it (ha ha fic writing amirite). I also have a fairy tale AU that I’ve done a substantial outline for, so I’d really like to get that underway.

Episode recaps/meta posts - these are currently being posted over on Pillowfort. The goal is to get the last two episodes of Season 1 up there, then to start crossposting them here.

As long as it’s not a gigantic hassle to paste over all the screencaps, because I uh. I have a lot of them. And a lot of thoughts about the show as a whole, but particularly about the relationship between David Xanatos and Owen Burnett: the meta’s currently averaging from about 1.5k to 2.5k per episode, whoooops.

I love them. I love them a LOT. See my meta posts for very detailed explanations as to why.

3. TREVORCARD (Castlevania)

I honestly did not expect to get this deeply invested in this ship. I watched and liked the first two seasons of Castlevania and really enjoyed the dynamic between Trevor and Alucard, but it wasn’t until the lead-up to Season 3 (and then the devastation of how absolutely terrible that season was) that I realized how much I loved these two together.

So now I’m having a very Sterek Fandom moment of “eff you canon, they’re ours now” in regards to Trevorcard. 

I’ve written one fic for them - it’s a 20k coffee shop/modern/college/artist/musician AU because they deserve all the fandom tropes and so much happiness together..

I don’t currently have plans to write any more, although if I do, it’ll likely be some sort of neighbors AU with wolf!Alucard, since my vast experience with Sterek fandom has taught me the absolute joys of exploring characters who can canonically turn into a beautiful giant effing wolf. 

I’ve also been steadily reading my way through every single Trevorcard fic in the AO3 tag, which unfortunately is only ~200. (HOW is this a rare pair. I will never ever understand it, they’re perfect together, and the animators literally said they intentionally storyboarded moments like the one above with the knowledge that people would start shipping them.)

Once I’ve finished up my AO3 tour, I’m going to compile the ones I enjoyed into rec lists. There are some really wonderful fics in there, and I’m excited to see what the rest are like.

4. TAIBANI (Tiger & Bunny)

I really don’t talk about this ship much, but it’s so immensely close to my heart. I have...so much...official merch of Kotetsu and Barnaby; it makes me happy every single time I see it. If I used my Tiger & Bunny stuff as the standard for what sparks joy during a konmari, the rest of my apartment would probably wind up empty.

The show (which is finally getting a second season in 2022 - Kotetsu & Barnaby had better be getting married) is wonderful. I genuinely can’t recommend it enough. Great writing, wonderful character development, beautiful animation, and Kotetsu and Barnaby are absolutely perfect together. Here’s an old post where I talk about that a little bit.

I’ve only written one fic so far: a canon compliant established relationship future fic that focuses more on their family dynamic as Kotetsu’s daughter adapts to turning 18, becoming a hero, and living with her frustratingly affectionate dad & his new husband.

I have ideas for two AUs: a single dad mature student/young professor one and a sorta weird circus/steve irwin-inspired one. We’ll...we’ll see if I ever get around to either. What I end up writing always surprises me, so I sorta give up on planning what words will come out.

And oh wait! I totally forgot about the third idea, which will be roughly canon compliant, with “Kotetsu sets Barnaby up on a series of blind dates that Barnaby initially thinks will be with HIM” angsty/funny fic. Hrm. I should get back to that one, I’ve outlined part of it.

I haven’t actually read a ton of fic for this pairing, because the more I like canon material, the less I seek out fandom content to “fix” it, but I would like to start going through the AO3 tag after I finish my Trevorcard project. I did an initial rec list ages ago and would like to follow up with another.

5. SHEITH (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Here’s the last pairing I write fics for. I have several more in progress that I’d really like to finish - including a dragon AU that I wish someone else would just finish for me so I can read it, hahhhhhhh sigh. I wrote 15k, did a ton of research, and basically intimidated myself out of continuing, because it’s one of my Big Projects. Not gonna be like, PDIW length or anything, but it should be a pretty hefty fic once it’s done.

Then there’s the roommates AU, the burrito shop AU, the....wow. I really need to get back to these, don’t I. A couple of them are super close to being finished, too.

I’ve also compiled a few fic rec lists, although I haven’t updated those (or my Sheith blog) in a while.

This fandom has been...interesting. Rough sometimes. Sliding into some of the other pairings on this list has provided a good break for me, particularly since they’re all such small fandoms that they’re relatively free from drama and hate. Once I’m fully refreshed and re-inspired, I’d love to get back into writing Sheith. They’re such a perfect, feel-good, extraordinarily balanced and supportive ship, and I am disappointed every single day I remember that Voltron didn’t stick the landing with making them canon.

Look at that almost-kiss. Just...look at it. And tell me they aren’t in love.

[bigskydreaming]

I mean, here’s the thing....

I’m more than capable of writing positive Batfam posts, meta deep dives that don’t dwell overlong on negativity, serious content, light hearted content, content about each and every one of the Batfam....anyone familiar with just a few different samples of my posts knows I do not lack for topics to happily ramble on about for absurd lengths. Hell, I’m pretty sure there’s a direct correlation where like, the less negative emotions I have about the content I’m writing, the LONGER it ends up being.

So its not like I particularly need or want to be the ‘loud angry scary adult cis white man yelling at kids’ to have something to say or talk about. Or that I particularly like that state of mind. I’m certainly not unaware of my privileges or that I can be off-putting or not someone everyone wants to be around on here. Its actually something I put a lot of thought into regularly, as personal accountability is such a big deal to me, and that certainly includes my own. There are times where I’ve looked back on something and thought yeah, I definitely could’ve dialed it down there.

But not gonna lie, given that personal accountability is kinda My Theme and I DO put a lot of time and effort into being self-aware and taking care not to cross certain lines, whether you believe me or not or agree with where I draw my lines or not....

Its more than a little obnoxious to regularly see my positive posts and my emotion-neutral meta posts and even my negative critical of canon posts take off and get hundreds of notes in just a couple of days....

But without fail, any time I so much as suggest that fandom’s perpetuating some of the very same toxic tendencies I criticize canon for, with the extension of that thought being hey fandom, unlike canon and how its written, we actually can do something about how we write these very same matters and slowly but surely normalize reader resistance to canon still perpetuating those ideas in the future, and maybe someday even they might buy a vowel and realize hey, our audience does not like what we’re selling here.

*Shrugs* Or maybe not. But even SOME changes to how specific problematic tropes and dynamics are being written in fandom currently could still only be an improvement, is all I’m saying.

Except, every time, without fail, no matter HOW I go about saying it, how polite, mild, civil, non-accusatory....its either crickets or immediate heels dug into the sand as often the very same people who commented on my neutral meta with variations of ‘this is pretty insightful’, like at the mere SUGGESTION its worth taking a more critical look at their own content to see what they might unknowingly be perpetuating and like....the very idea of asking fic writers to be more accountable for what toxic tendencies we perpetuate within our own creative works, even just among our own far more limited platforms....

Its like... HOLD UP! I AM BEING ATTACKED! WITHOUT CAUSE! WHY DO YOU HATE THE FANS? WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING ALL THIS STUFF ABOUT THE ACTUAL COMICS???

And its just like....uh....I did. I do. You were there. You were saying I was making some really good points. But without calling any individuals out or making specific insinuations or personal attacks....I am suddenly just the most unreasonable of the unreasonables, because I dared say “hey, we can’t do anything about what canon writes, but we can do something about the things we write, and actually transform some of the more problematic tendencies and dynamics from canon into things that benefit all the characters and all the fans.”

But nah. Without exception, those posts either get nada or they get vitriol, no matter my own linguistic volume....and meanwhile, posts I made just before them and just after them are now hitting the thousand notes mark. So I kinda can’t help but wonder, is the problem really that I magically lose all ability to grasp supremely basic concepts and start spewing irrelevant gibberish anytime I’m critical of fandom specifically? Or.....just spitballing here....is it at ALL possible that maybe I’m not as much of the problem there as you want to make me about to be?

Like, say what you will about how toxic my more negative, angry posts can be, but personally, I think artificial positivity is just as toxic....plastering a ‘I see nothing wrong here’ sign with a smiley face over a bunch of mold doesn’t actually accomplish anything but allow that mold to fester and grow even further, without notice, until it becomes too widespread to ignore anymore at which point its usually rooted so deep its impossible to get out.

So yeah. I get angry, the all caps come out, and the volume level of my posts on those subjects rises. Its something I’m aware of and something I’m okay with and stand by with certain posts and that I decide I’m not okay with and keep an eye against repeating with certain other posts. Its a process, it doesn’t have an endpoint or finish line, and I’m okay with all of that.

What I’m NOT okay with though, and never will be, is the heat I draw for that and the condemnations and criticisms of my behavior and how toxic and unpleasant I make fandom with those posts....as though the tendencies I’m pointing out in them, by virtue of already being present throughout fandom, don’t already make it toxic and unpleasant in a lot of ways, for a lot of people.

But for all the times I have someone respond to me or call me out specifically for one of my angry posts that very deliberately are made with no specific individuals in mind, just generic references to fandom wide tendencies as a whole....there’s a whole lot of ‘helpful advice’ for all the things I should do different or better to avoid making fandom a more toxic place.....and not a hint of awareness that there’s anything at all they could be doing differently to make fandom less toxic than it already is in various ways.

So just saying, I’m kiiiiiinda not super keen on being lectured for my shit by people who are committed to the belief that their own shit doesn’t stink....WHILE AT THE SAME TIME, I have a good half a dozen positive or neutral meta posts still making the rounds through fandom and consistently picking up notes that according to the tags, generally seem to be viewed as adding positively to fandom in their own respective fashions.

Which basically from my perspective, makes things look like this:

Me: regularly contributes positive content that’s received positively by lots of different parts of fandom, not just the Dick Grayson stan corner of it, with zero negativity attached to these posts....regularly contributes meta content that’s deemed insightful and adding fresh viewpoints by lots of different parts of fandom, not just the Dick Grayson stan corner of it, again, with zero negativity attached because it doesn’t rely on putting down any other characters to make whatever points I’m after.....

....but then contributes posts that are critical of certain specific characterizations and viewpoints within fandom itself, without actually having a twelve step powerpoint presentation attached detailing ALL FANS MUST DO THIS INSTEAD....and instead I usually just include a spectrum of possible alternative takes.....

But wait! Nooooow comes the pushback. Which usually sounds like various forms of this:

Stop trying to police us! La la la la can’t hear you over the sound of your moral superiority complex! You just want us to do exactly what you want us to do which is gaslighting and the very same abusive behavior you talk about which makes you abusive!

And also, a bunch of changing the subject or avoiding addressing various points I raise completely.

Maybe you see my issue? I don’t need tips on how to be a positive fandom presence, I actually don’t have any trouble creating positive content or meta, a large amount of which is deemed insightful and humorous and otherwise well received....but the second I make a criticism of fandom and suggest there’s things fans could be doing differently to address the toxicity existing around various characters in various respects, instead of just keeping everything about DC’s flaws which none of us including me have any kind of platform to even reach DC with......

Suddenly I have ZERO idea what I’m talking about, I clearly don’t get the point of fandom, period, I’m obsessed with my own moral righteousness, and am like, so out of the ballpark misguided its not even funny, and I need all of this explained to me like a five year old, because everyone obviously should get that ‘we’re just fans, why are you blaming us for things we write specifically instead of DC who are getting paid as if that’s even the point?’

So yup. I get ticked off, I make more posts venting about being ticked off, rinse and repeat and my volume goes up.

And that’s it by the way.

You’ll notice, that’s kinda the worst that ever happens, because I literally have never done anything but....type posts with lots of capitalized letters. I don’t target specific individuals, I don’t harass people, I don’t @ specific fics or fic writers or urge people to flood their comments or ask boxes with callouts. I’ve never called anyone in this fandom names or made personal attacks other than the posts various people have felt targeted by because my description of specific tropes or tendencies I have a problem with apparently made them think I was talking about them I guess? Hmm. Weird.

So what’s the point of this post? Idk. Nothing really. Not trying to accomplish anything, just putting my thoughts out there as a way to work through them because like....that’s literally what I have this blog for, lmao. And FYI, I super don’t appreciate the tactic of condemning me for my quote unquote rage issues and framing all this as me yelling at kids on the internet....kids, specifically, and oh right, just screaming at people rather than addressing my own abusive behavior.

Since abuse is a hugely personal and important topic to me, let me just say accusing me of abusing generic fandom in general (since again, I haven’t actually made any of this personal about any individual with my fandom criticisms)....like, I’m quite willing to consider and address flaws in my own behavior when raised, but I’m not a fan of being called abusive in a context that demonstrates a complete lack of awareness as to what abuse actually is.

You don’t like me yelling on my blog? Fine, you don’t have to like it, or me. But abuse is the exploitation of a power differential, taking advantage of power one person has over the other, or that the other person just doesn’t have period. The fact that I am an adult cis white man does not make me aggressively capitalizing stuff in my own posts the same as “the same triggering position of the cisgender man who screams and makes kids feel scared and wince and hide from your posts.”

Like, lol, nice. Classy. I mean who cares right, that yeah, even acknowledging that we can legitimately sense tones and moods through even written text.....a person ranting on their internet blog is not remotely interchangeable with the physical presence of an adult cis white man loudly screaming in your face and with the potential for immediate consequences and harm. Does that mean the tone of my posts is above criticism? No. It means exactly what I said. The one is not the same as the other. 

Secondly, the repeated insistence on me yelling at kids...and this person I’m quoting isn’t the only one who’s done this, FYI, and its crap. Am I unaware that there are a lot of minors in fandom? No, I absolutely am not. Its why I make a point to check the blog of someone I’m replying to heatedly before I respond, to make sure they’re not a minor, and if they are, I don’t engage. So that I can categorically state, with complete certainty, I have never yelled at a kid in this fandom. Do my generic yells about ‘fandom’ not include kids then? Yeah, you could say kids are included there, though again I’d have to question why my criticisms of specific handlings of specific subjects somehow equates to me yelling at specific individuals, whom apparently are all kids and only kids. Like, framing my posts as being all about me screaming at kids specifically is a deliberate choice with a clear aim of making me look as bad as possible. This isn’t subtle.

Third, as an abuse survivor I’m keenly aware that doesn’t exempt me from being abusive myself, but it does mean I find it really fucking gross to be labeled abusive because my posts make kids feel scared and wince and want to hide from my posts. As someone who as a kid absolutely had to hide from their abuser in fear, I really, dearly would love to know what exactly it is about the capitalized sentences written by a man who couldn’t even pick a stranger’s URL out of a lineup, that’s so scary that kids, specifically, want to run and hide from the big bad posts. No, seriously. Go on. Please tell me what exactly it is about my screaming rage issues as conveyed by my posts, which pose any kind of threat or even the potential of threat for someone who I’ve never interacted with and only feels personally attacked by my posts by virtue of associating themselves with the behaviors or tendencies I’ve centered in those posts as the things I’m specifically angry about.

I also apparently am abusive because that’s what you call it when I gaslight or attempt to gaslight a fandom....which is apparently what you call it when my fandom policing tries to get everyone to do exactly what I want them to do. Which again is pretty interesting to me given that I’ve literally never told even generic ‘fandom’ at large to do anything in specific other than....’hey this thing I think is shitty and thus am criticizing shouldn’t be a thing, stop doing it.” Oh wait, I’m sorry, I also ask people to consider their creative impact and not insist on pretending everything we write exists in a vacuum and has no potential to carry harm, and just keep this in mind when making our creative choices. Still not sure how that’s demanding everyone do things exactly the way I want them, since the only clear and actionable request or demand in all of that is...omg....HE ASKED THAT WE THINK ABOUT THE STUFF WE WRITE, HOW COULD HE???

Like, literally, that’s the furthest any of my angry, rage-borne DEMANDS have gone: I’ve asked people apply more personal accountability to their own creative works and not take their potential impact for granted just because they’re a fic writer rather than a published one....and oh yeah, not engage in perpetuating certain tropes or dynamics I consider toxic.

Now, anyone is certainly welcome to disagree with my take on any or all of those tropes, tendencies or dynamics being toxic....but to do so, like, you need to actually DISAGREE AND MAYBE EVEN TELL ME WHY. But the overall refusal to engage with any of my posts criticizing certain fandom tendencies regarding the characters, other than to make it about my overall toxicity and RAGE.....like, that means that I keep making posts that include specific examples for what I’m describing and why I think they’re toxic, and nobody’s actually made any kind of case for me being wrong in any of those posts? So.....its not actually gaslighting to try and convince people these things I bring up are toxic....when I’m actually including reasons and examples of the things I’m talking about in order to convince people, and I’m not actually ignoring, evading or misconstruing counter-arguments....because nobody’s actually making counter arguments in the first place!! That’s not fucking gaslighting, that’s called EXPRESSING MY VIEWPOINT ON A MATTER.

And for the record, like I said earlier, abuse is the perversion or exploitation of a power differential. Try all you want, but you can’t claim I have power over myriad specific individuals I don’t even know EXIST without them interacting with me directly....power that I’m then exploiting just by yelling at stuff on my blog. Yes I’m aware of my overall privileges as a cis and white man. But none of those change a damn thing about the fact that I’m not actually yelling at anyone in specific and people reading my posts have to decide for THEMSELVES whether the thing I’m pissed about is a thing they do before they can even CLAIM to feel at all ‘targeted’ by my RAGE (with me still not being able to tell from that who any particular individual this might apply to is, and also, THATS NOT EVEN THE POINT OF ANY OF MY POSTS)....NOR do any of my privileges negate the fact that every single one of you exists in varying physical distances from me, unknown to me, and I have ZERO power to compel you to even read my posts in the first place, or to keep you from exiting your browser or app or even just going ahead and blocking me to be sure you’re ‘safe’ from the big bad abusive boogeyman and his posts of Gaslighting and Rage.

Me venting on my own damn blog, even knowing that other people can see what I post and share it if they want, is NOT the same thing as screaming in your face and making you want to wince and hide, no matter WHO you are. It just literally isn’t. Doesn’t mean you can’t have a problem with my posts or my tone, it just means what it says. Its not the same thing, they’re not interchangeable or even comparable, because NONE OF YOU ARE A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE. There are NO possible consequences to ignoring, disagreeing with or just scrolling past my posts, firstly because THERE’S ZERO WAY FOR ME TO EVEN KNOW THAT, IF I EVEN CARED. Nobody, kid or adult, can ever HIDE from my posts, because that would first require MY POSTS EVER BE ABLE TO FIND THEM. Whatever the hell THAT even means.

You’re not my prisoners. You don’t have to be here. You’re not even ACTUALLY HERE. Nobody owes me an audience, and honestly, the lack of one wouldn’t change all that much because I babble on all the time about shit none of my followers actually care about, because I post for ME first and foremost, and people from there are welcome to do whatever they want to do with my content, or do nothing with it at all. I literally don’t care, other than thinking its shitty that so many people find my content worthwhile except and until I get critical of fandom behaviors at which point they only engage with it to make it all about ME and MY toxicity instead of anything I actually posted about. Which I then...gasp...vent about. How dare I be angry in the space I cultivated for myself online and other people chose to look in on by their own choice because rather than being threatened or bullied into doing so, they found at least something I’d said interesting enough to be worth listening to hear what else I might say.

I HAVE ZERO POWER OVER ANY OF YOU. At most my posts hold some weight for the people who think I generally have interesting or insightful things to say, but that’s literally it, and that’s the result of me having said things they find interesting and insightful overall. I can’t MAKE anyone do anything, if I’d ever even tried to make anyone do anything other than actually LISTEN to what I ACTUALLY am saying on certain subjects and CONSIDER IT. So if we’re going to throw words like gaslighting around so carelessly, we might want to hold that one up next to the phrase ‘fandom policing’ I so often get accused of....as though I’m any kind of actual authority with actual power to actually enforce any actual agenda I even actually have.

Which brings me to the last thing I want to touch on, which is my supposed moral righteousness, that oozes all over everything I post and drowns out any good points I have to make, which again, apparently is just in terms of fandom criticisms, since every other point I’ve ever made in fandom seems to come through just fine.

Like.....tbh, I don’t really know what to do with the many times I’ve heard people say I’m self-righteous and obsessed with my own moral righteousness. Considering like...I’m not shy about acknowledging my flaws, I know perfectly well I can be loud and angry and aggressive in my posts and have talked plenty before about not being super proud of that, I’ve never claimed to be a saint and I don’t think my actions and choices are the gold standard everyone should adhere to. In fact, the only time I make a point to state what *I* do or did or what *I* think or believe....is when its directly relevant to something critical I’m saying.

And you think that’s because I want everyone to be aware of how moral and righteous I am? Fucking please, if I were as self-absorbed as you people make me out to be when giving me shit, I just wanna know when you think I’d have time to squeeze out 10K of random Batfam meta every other day, instead of being busy finding new things to say about myself.

Literally the only reason I make a point to bring up my own behavior or choices when criticizing others is because PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY IS THE CORE THEME OF LITERALLY EVERYTHING I SAY IN THIS REGARD.

And you know what personal accountability requires? A willingness to acknowledge and address your own behavior. Which is why its kinda hilarious the consensus seems to be I’m too up my own ass to even be aware of my own behavior or actions, given that the literal actual reason I bring up examples of what I did or think when making posts about personal accountability....is to stress that REGARDLESS of what those things were, I think its important to not just be talking out of my ass. But rather to emphasize I hold myself to the same expectations I’m asking other people to consider, I’m putting it out there and on the record, here’s what I did relevant to this matter I’m talking about and why I made that choice....see, I’m not asking anything of anyone else that I don’t expect to be held to myself. ITS NOT ABOUT TRYING TO IMPRESS PEOPLE WITH MY MORAL RIGHTEOUSNESS, ITS LITERALLY JUST ME TRYING TO ESTABLISH I’M NOT LOOKING TO BE A HYPOCRITE IN THIS REGARD, SPECIFICALLY.

Like, is maybe that unnecessary and counter-productive? Could be, its something for me to think about some more, but gotta tell you, its a little hard figuring out what will and won’t work when I’m STILL waiting on the first time someone actually engages me on an actual criticism I’m actually voicing about fandom.

*Shrugs* Whatever. Like I said, I don’t even know if this post has a point beyond just getting this all out of my head, so whatever. Make of it what you will. People will likely still just keep viewing me however they already do, for better or worse. Oh well. C’est la vie. Its not the end of the world anymore than any other post I make is, no matter how much RAGE I imbue it with. As I’ve always said, that’s literally the only reason for any of the posts I make ever...I’m just getting them out of my head and down on paper, so to speak, in whatever mood I’m feeling while thinking about that topic. Yeah, I phrase things for a generic fandom audience most of the time, other than when I’m talking to someone directly, but never have I made a post with an entitled and expectant belief that people will take every word I say literally and regard it as a directive for what they should do and how they should live their lives. Since, y’know, I don’t actually think I should be the ruler of everyone’s choices. 

Over and over I keep repeating, I just want people to put more THOUGHT into their choices, and keep in mind various contexts that yeah, I think are relevant to certain topics, sue me. Because the vast majority of creative choices I take issue with, I actually fundamentally believe are just the result of a lack of thinking critically or with a broader awareness of various implications or repercussions. Shocking though this may seem, I’m actually a big believer that humans are inherently good or at least have the capacity to be.

The thing that amps up my frustration and ticks me off so often is how much time and effort I end up wasting trying to get people to address the actual things I’m asking them to consider, instead of dancing around it and evading it in every way possible, not even like, as an attempt to counter it, just willfully refusing to let it be about the topic I ACTUALLY raised.

And yeah, just FYI, to whom it may concern, since this is so often relevant it seems.....gotta say, I find it particularly odious that WITHOUT FAIL, the very same people who carelessly throw out ‘don’t like don’t read’ as the catch-all solution to every issue anyone ever might have with something in fandom, as though its that simple.....

Time after time demonstrate a COMPLETE refusal or inability to take their own damn advice, since NONE of this would ever even come up if the loudest advocates of that system actually APPLIED it themselves. 

And simply....didn’t read my posts.

I fail to see why I’m expected to do what they don’t consider worth doing themselves, to spare themselves the aggravation (or fear) from reading my posts. Let alone interacting with them.

But whatevs. When do I ever know what I’m talking about anyway, lol, on account of all this RAGE I’ve got mucking with my head and objectivity.

Oh well, gotta go. KALEN SMASH!

[hannah-writes]

The Semiotics of Roswell (aka why Malex is Endgame because the camera says so)

One of the things I’m most grateful for about the Roswell fandom that I’ve met through Tumblr is the renewed passion I found for my degree subject, something I thought I’d fallen out of love with because of the pain associated with my time at university. Turns out I just needed to separate what I’d learned and what I loved from what I’d experienced. And Roswell (and @signoraviolettavalery, in particular) really helped reshape that.

Now, I know y’all are here for some meta, and this is just boring exposition. I’d originally planned on just keysmashing something as I’ve done in the past on other people’s posts and re-blogs but I thought I better try and be consistent.

One last thing before I dive in, like any other interpretation of a text, semiotics is influenced by the viewer, their experiences, their history and their take. It means that people might - and probably will - disagree with the way that I’ve viewed this, but discourse is discourse and I’d be interested to hear other views. For further reading on semiotics, I’d suggest starting with any of these books ( Metz, Christian (1974). Film language: A semiotics of the cinema. University of Chicago Press. Monaco, James (2000). How to read a film: the world of movies, media, and multimedia: language, history, theory. USA: Oxford University Press. Chandler, Daniel (1994). Semiotics for Beginners.). 

I’m gonna work an episode at a time and will be focusing mainly on the visual narrative of Malex, since that’s predominantly my ship, but also looking at it through the way it’s parallelled with Echo and Michael/Maria which means there will probably be a fair bit of Echo content. What started out as a way of making a friend feel better is now a monster. You can blame her.

This is gonna be image heavy. You have been warned!

The first time we’re introduced to what we know will be a romantic pairing is Max and Liz at the checkpoint. This is a well-known trope for heterosexual couples; two characters of opposite genders meet in a location in the first episode you can be pretty confident that they’ll hook up before the show is over. Same goes for movies; boy meets girl, there’s bound to be love there somewhere. Or at the very least, sex.

What this also does is begins to set up a visual narrative that lasts across the show that can be referenced when we know a romantic pairing is going to be on the screen. (NB: this is important to note that there will always be other shots where characters are in this position that are not romantically linked, however, the regularity of their placement is what is being called out here, and in Malex’s case - which I’ll get to eventually, so stick with me - there’s an absolute consistency in their framing which is too precise to be accidental)

Max is shown on the left-centre of the frame here, and Liz on the right-centre. Compare these two images with the ones below.  

Both are completely on the same side of the shot which in terms of reading the framing indicates that, romantically, they are no longer on the same page. There’s an unevenness in the camera angles here, too which is partly about perspective (i.e. when we look at Max, we’re looking up as Liz is and vice versa) but in a wider context, it also shows a power dynamic (and this is important for later). In this scene, as a police officer, Max has the power. (Think later to the scene in 1x13 where Max and Liz are intimate and a vast majority of the camera angles are shot up at her from Max’s position). 

The closeness of these shots is intimate; if we didn’t know the setting of these, we might not have assumed that there’s a physical barrier between them as there’s no real indication of one. The close-up shots are tight on their faces and not so much on the environment around them, focusing the audience to narrow in on their faces.

It’s also a highly unusual move to have a switching POV shot keeping the same angle regardless of who’s POV we’re seeing the scene from which just further highlights that this is telling us categorically that Max and Liz - though romantically entangled (TV Trope 101) - are not right now on the same page. If they were, ironically, they would be on opposite sides of the screen.

When we bring another character in, Sheriff Valenti is more centralised in her framing, and the angle at which she is shot (from Liz’s POV still as we’re inside the car) is immediately less intimate, there’s more space and as an audience we’re made aware of the barrier of the frame of the car door. The close up is even a little less intense here, we see more of Sheriff Valenti’s shoulder in the over-the-shoulder shot of Liz’s face, and we see more of Liz’s car. It’s a reminder, it’s breaking that spell of MaxandLiz that we had earlier by physically creating distance.

What is important, though, is this shot below and it took me a while to realise but Max is reflected in her car window and here is a perfect example of them sharing a shot with a defined side. It’s literally seconds, but they’re on either side of the shot here and even though we can’t see Max (other than in his reflection - and honestly I only noticed when looking through screencaps), we know she’s looking at him. The obvious imagery here is that Max is, literally, in her rear window; he’s part of her past, but it also shows that he’s a part of her life despite her having attempted to move on.

This image is also key in another way; it sets up the beginning of the visual dynamic for this show’s couples that I’m going to call Your Side My Side.

One of the other on screen romantic (sort of) dynamics set up in this is Liz and Kyle. Comparing their framing (over the shoulder, opposite sides) to the Max and Liz (over the shoulder, same side) gives us a clue into the route their relationship is going to take. He’s framed similarly to Sheriff Valenti; Kyle’s in the middle of the shot here, when it would have been just as easy to have him off to one side of the frame and it would have lost no narrative impact. However, there’s none of the my side your side here, since the two of them share the middle of the screen.

In this shot (haha, and it’s a terrible screencap of Jeanine’s beautiful face and for that I AM SORRY), Liz is pretty much bang-smack in the middle of the shot, but both she and the back of Kyle’s head are sharing the same space in the frame and they’re on the same side of the image. You never see Echo or Malex sharing the same side of the shot while they’re both in it, they’re always paralleled on opposite sides (which we’ll see, for example, in the first toolshed scene where they’re sat side-by-side but on either side of the frame).

What’s set up with Kyle & Liz is a narrative that they are not to be framed romantically. Though they hook up, their shots are largely framed in a similar way with them sharing space in the frame. 

Now, the reason you’re all here: Malex.

This next few screenshots don’t need as much dissection as the kissing ones, but hey, we’ll spend some time looking at everyone’s pretty faces :D 

Michael and Alex have their own sides of the screen - Alex on the right, Michael on the left. What’s interesting here is the closeness of the shots, the character that isn’t in focus is just as dominant on the screen as the one that is; Michael takes up almost half of Alex’s shot (above) and Alex does take up half of Michael’s shot (below)

After they both look at Master Sgt Manes (which is a shot of the two of them in the middle, Master Sgt looking on - setting up the voyeuristic element Malex that I touch on in the video break down) the camera gives them some distance from each other, though the focus and shot type doesn’t change, Alex and Michael barely fit in the frame with each other. 

Though we don’t fully know what’s going on, past Michael’s spiteful comments about being a ‘real Manes man’ (and since he’s set up as a fuck-authority character it’s easy to assume that it’s all it is, he’s angry at the fact that The Man is on his property telling him what to do, fuck the man! Well, fuck that man in particular, please, in the airstream I missed you so much and how dare you be here with him.) it’s not until the ‘run and tell your daddy’ that we as an audience realise that there’s likely more going on here. The shift in framing is indicating that it’s Alex putting distance between them, which is a common theme in their relationship for the rest of the season. His face is still in Michael’s shot (above), but only Michael’s shoulder is in Alex’s (below). 

Though we’re setting up a precedent for Alex putting distance between them, Michael’s the one that shuts down the interaction in this scene by disappearing into the airstream. He’s the first to break it.

Having set up the my-side-your-side dynamic for Malex in their first interaction, their meeting again at the reunion is interesting because it shows a shift - already - in their interactions. We find that the right-left dynamic is constant unless there’s a power shift or something significant, both of which we see before the Malex kiss.

Here, they’re shot on the same side of the frame (Alex’s side). Alex has come to the reunion thinking that Michael’s doing something wildly illegal considering what his scientists found (and honestly, with Carina confirming Alex’s costume was wrong in the pilot and then in 1x02 seeing Alex with Captain Bars on his collar it makes me so happy he’s outranked his shit-bag father). They’re no longer even remotely on the Same Page. Alex is angry and confused and disappointed; Michael is better than some back-alley meth lab in the middle of a dairy ranch. 

The sudden shift in their camera angles - the mid-shot that falls back further when Alex grabs Michael’s arm (as Michael’s looking to get away from Alex again, for the second time in this episode) and holds him close gives us another dizzying shift. 

The my-side-your-side changes (below) and the camera pulls in intimately close for the ‘you’re wasting your life’ and ‘does the macho cowboy swagger thing ever get old’. 

Alex is turned into Michael (above) but Michael’s not facing Alex, not turned away. “you tryna hold my hand, private?” even though he doesn’t have the physical distance - and the camera doesn’t let him have that either, it’s close and tight and suffocating and Michael can’t escape it even if he wanted to - he can joke, he can look away, he can keep distance between their heads.

Alex has the power in that screenshot above; Alex is the one that grabbed Michael. Alex is the one still holding him.

In the below shot, however - this is a split second before Michael says ‘did it get old for you?’ - we’re treated to the same shot as above but reversed. They’re back on their own sides of the screen and Michael’s reclaimed the power in the scene. When using ‘private’ in an offensively flirtatious manner didn’t work, he drops his voice and all but purrs in Alex’s ear a question (that probably was meant to be mocking and actually ends up being a little more broken than he intended it to be (is that why you left? did you get bored of me? was I not enough?) but it’s enough. Alex is visibly rocked by it and the camera - since it stays so tight on them, swings out a second later to reveal Michael walking away to wrap his arms around another girl, with the framing still being quite visibly your-side-my-side.

Now, let’s talk about the real reason everyone’s here; the Malex kiss. I can’t work out how to embed a youtube video in an already image-heavy post and as I was writing I realised that fuck I have too much to say about it to stick into this already busy as heck post so I’m gonna dissect that separately and focus on stills here, but I’ll link to that post, too. (It’s here, by the way, if you wanna see it and breaks this scene down into TINY PIECES). 

The my-side-your-side is constant here, and honestly, the video post I made explains it in a lot more detail but I’ve started so I’ll finish. The blue wash of this entire scene is meant to encourage a sense of calm - and how we move from Alex being backlit with red (below, where he’s saying ‘we’re not kids anymore, what I want doesn’t matter) to being completely swamped in blue like Michael is is representative of the change in Alex from ‘must not kiss Michael’ to swaying into Michael’s orbit and holding onto him because he needs it as much as Michael does. (You can tear the headcanon that they’re soulmates and linked on a fundamental, cosmic level from my cold dead hands). 

We’re meant to focus more on Alex’s face in this section, which is why Alex has a few more close-up shots (and eh, who can blame us for wanting more of Tyler’s pretty face? Pfft) and we’re able to watch the journey of resistance (red) to acceptance and calm and serenity and home (blue) as he moves forward into Michael’s space and accepts Michael into his. 

This kiss is epic. You can’t deny that. The framing is soft-focused and the camera lingers, allows us to really zoom in on the moment and focus on what’s happening: the intensity of the moment. I’ve talked about this a lot, but the way the camera swings to catch up with Michael as he surges into Alex and then goes still is - imo - representative of how Alex stabilises Michael’s world, soothes it right down. The world rocks on its axis when their lips first touch, when their bodies collide, but then it all goes still and calm as Michael’s entropy changes. The blue helps foster that, too, it’s calming and soothing and tranquil. It’s safety and security. And it’s home.

With Jesse Manes’ words about love being spoken over this (below) shot and not over Echo (who have a cute handprint moment but it’s not the same), the show is choosing to put a focus and emphasis on the fact that this, right here, is a cosmic, epic love that cannot - and will not - be denied. Alex can’t run from who he is (as the soundtrack said while he was looking at a picture of his out-and-proud teenage self) and they can’t run from this (as the soundtrack says, again). This is it for them. And this is it for us, too, as viewers. We’re getting it set up in the very beginning that this is a cosmic love story, that it has history and pain but that it is love. That’s important to remember: we are told at the very beginning that Michael and Alex love each other. It doesn’t matter that they also sets up a paradigm of the two of them almost saying what they mean but never actually saying the words. “What I want doesn’t matter” -  I want you. “I never look away, not really” - I love you. “It was late, I was tired” - I stayed because this is safe for me, you are home. What we are TOLD EXPLICITLY is that Michael and Alex love each other. 

Hold onto that, folks. Because the visual narrative does not change. 

(tagging, by request, @i-never-look-away, @stydiaeverafter, @signoraviolettavalery, @saadiestuff. If you wanna be tagged in future meta, let me know!)

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

The Art of Love (Part 1) ~ Steve Rogers x Reader College!AU

A/N 10/17/2020: Hi lovelies! So, this story is not going the way I planned. So I’m changing the title because I kinda lost the plot. The posted parts are gonna stay the same and I’m going to hopefully finish it. And the plot idea I had will show up in a different fic. This was previously Algorithm Knows Best. And is now just idiots to lovers. So enjoy? 

A/N: HI all so surprise! i’m here. With a kinda new thing. But not really. Let me explain when I started writing Cupid’s Code (which I’m still working on and hope to have more of soon) I had ya’ll weigh in on enemies to lovers or friends to lovers and most of you said enemies to lovers which I love it. And I’m excited, but I also love the friends to lovers trope as you all know, so I’m doing a companion piece. Set during the same couple of weeks as cupid’s code. There’s no real interaction between readers so it shouldn’t be too meta. I hope you enjoy. Here’s part 1 

Summary: You and Steve have been best friends since sophomore year. Everyone thinks you should be more, but neither of you can see it. 

Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x reader (Platonic - for now) 

Rating: K+

Warnings: None really, shitty date 

Word Count: 601

Main Masterlist | The Art of Love Masterlist | Broken Hearts and Robot Parts Masterlist (Companion Fic) ​

You reset the song to the halfway mark as you tried to make your feet perform the steps you saw in your head.  

“This would be a lot easier with a partner,” you grumbled.

“I’d offer to help, but I’d probably just step on your feet.”

You jumped at the unexpected voice, whirling to face Steve who was leaning against the doorjamb.

“Jeez. Steve. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry.” He wasn’t.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, pausing the music.

“I was bored. Figured I should get some work done. Then I heard the music. Figured I’d see who else was here on a Friday night.”

“Just me,” you shrugged, sitting down in a butterfly stretch.

“I thought you had a date tonight.”

“I did,” you told him curtly.

He pushed off from wall and kicked off his sneakers before joining you in the middle of the floor. “That bad, huh?”

“Worse than my blind date with Gil. He was late to meet me. Flirted with the waitress the whole night. Then actually had the audacity to try to take us both home.”

Steve’s jaw tightened.

“Who was this guy again?”

“It was just a guy from a dating app. I’m not seeing him again so it doesn’t matter.”  

Steve frowned as you wrapped your arms around your knees which were drawn up to your chest. You looked so sad. The anger evaporated when he saw tears on your cheeks.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Why didn’t you just come over to my place?”

“I didn’t want to bother you,” you sniffed.  

“You’re never bothering me.”

You shot him a half-hearted smile.

“Come on. I think my couch and some take out from Mr. Chang’s is calling our name.”

“What about your painting?”

“It can wait. I’ve got a much better offer,” he grinned at you.  

You allowed him to pull you to your feet, and he held you at arm’s length for a moment, taking in the formfitting black dress.

“You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, Steve.”

“Come on. Let’s go home.”

 Steve called in the food order while you bee-lined for his bedroom to change out of your dress. It was already in a pool around your feet when you realized your clothes weren’t in the usual spot in his top drawer.

“Hey, Steve.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Where are my clothes?”

“Oh, you left them on the bed last weekend so I tossed them in the hamper. I haven’t gotten around to laundry this week. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. But I’m stealing your clothes then.”

“Go ahead.”

You started rifling through his drawers looking for one specific shirt.

“It’s in the closet,” Steve called after a few minutes. “Next to the sweatshirt you like.”

You grinned when you found the light blue Henley t-shirt. It was your favorite. You threw on a pair of basketball shorts and finally joined him on the couch.

“Food will be here in ten.”

“Awesome. I’m starving.”

“You didn’t eat on your date?”

“No, we met at Triskellion. And once I met him, I didn’t feel like extending the date. So I didn’t order any food,” you shrugged, curling up under the blanket.

“Fair enough. What do you want to watch?”

“The Good Place okay?”

“Whatever you like, sweetheart.”

You fell asleep somewhere towards the end of season one, with your head in Steve’s lap. You stirred slightly when he moved you to his bed, just enough to tug him in beside you. Not enough to see the content smile settle over his features as he wrapped his arms around you and drifted off to sleep.

A/N: Yeah, so I was gonna wait and finish Cupid’s Code and then post this, but then I decided not to do that because this bit was working for me and cupid’s code wasn’t so I hope you enjoyed! 

Tag List is Open - The Tag list for this story will be separate from cupid’s code so please send an ask

Update 3/15/2021: Hello, Lovelies. As some of you may have seen on the blog I have decided to suspend tag lists. If you would like to receive updates about new content please follow @naynay-writes​​ and turn on notifications. Thank you! Xoxo, Naynay

Steve/Chris Tag List @isaxhorror @peachykeen3502 @patzammit @wordlesscaptain @coffeebooksandfandom​ @hereisanapplepie @mywinterwolf

Marvel Tag List @hdthdthdt​   @sophiatomlinson23 @misty-panther @supermusicallee @scarlettsoldier @acupofhotlatte @slender--spirit @petitesmate

Permanent Tag List @iamwarrenspeace @jayzayy @bexboo616 @neoqueen306 @santheweird @rowenaravencalw @buckitybarnes @prxttybirdz @sergeantjbuckybarnes @captainsamwlsn @broitsmydick @ailynalonso15 @nyxveracity @queenoftrash97 @walkingtravesty97 @lamia-maizat @memyselfandmaddox @lowkeybuckyb @whiskey2011 @averyrogers83 @lovingpeterparker @buckybarneshairpullingkink @beansparker @coralphantomninja @xxashy999xx @thisismysecrethappyplace @ravennightingaleandavatempus @paintballkid711 @whosmarisaaarw @silverkitten547 @yknott81 @mmmmmmmmmchicken