#I’m gonna go lay down I feel like poo | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

johnsbleu · 3 years ago

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Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 128

warnings: none hmh masterlist

The last two days have been fairly uneventful. You spent last night with your parents and Jimmy and Tess, and of course little Finny, which was really nice. John made a really big dinner for everyone, then you just sat around and talked. It was nice and it helped calm down your anxiety. Your mom even made her famous cherry pie for you! You have some leftovers that you can’t wait to eat. You’re secretly saving it for after you give birth.

You thought you were having some contractions yesterday but it turned out to be nothing. You’ve stuck around the house just in case something changed with this never ending pregnancy, and John was close by as well. He’s been pretty busy this past week making sure everything is taken care of at the shop and at home, but he did bring you home a few new books to read while you’re recovering.

If you ever have this damn baby.

One of the best parts of trying to get labor going has been all the dumb ways to induce it; exercise, castor oil, eating dates, sex, nipple stimulation, which always led to sex, swimming, pineapple, massage, which also led to sex. It’s been fun, but you know you and John are just over it at this point -- you most of all.

It really does feel like this baby is never going to come at this point. It’s exhausting and frustrating. You’ve been pregnant for 40 weeks and 2 days. You look over at the clock just as it turns 12:01.

Make that 40 weeks and 3 days.

September 5th - 3:37 AM

You sit up in bed and reach over for your phone to open the app that helps track your contractions, and you lay down back and breathe your way through it. This is the third one in a row that you’ve had. John is fast asleep by your side, but since you’re not entirely sure if this is it, you don’t want to wake him up. You’re only having mild contractions that aren’t lasting too long, so you figure this won’t be it. They feel like the Braxton Hicks that you had in Greece, so you know that they’re not too intense right now which means you’re most likely not going to be pushing a baby out in the next 10 minutes.

Baby Wick isn’t ready yet.

You exhale slowly as you look down at your app and check to see how long the contraction was, but since it wasn’t very long, you lock your phone and set it aside before you roll to your left side and lightly rub John’s chest to wake him up. He squeezes his eyes shut and hums a little, then he opens his eyes and looks over at you before he sits up and grows concerned.

“Everything okay?” he asks as he sits up to look at you, then he turns on his light.

“I don’t want to startle you,” you whisper, and he sits up more, obviously startled. “But I’ve been having contractions for about 15 minutes now.”

John nods his head and leans over you to grab your phone so he can check the app, “Baby, you just had this one. Why didn’t you wake me?”

You laugh quietly, “Didn’t want to wake you up if this wasn’t it, and you look so cute when you’re asleep.”

John lets out a small laugh as he rubs the sleep from his eyes and looks at you, “How are you feeling?”

“They’re really mild.” you say, then you laugh when John rubs your belly, “You know when you get cramps like you have to poo, it’s like that. Kind of.”

John chuckles as he leans down to kiss you, then he nods, “Must be super uncomfortable though.”

“It is,” you nod, then you lay back down and smile at him, “You can go back to bed, babe.”

“Nope,” he shakes his head and places his hand on your stomach, “I’m with you through this all day.”

You exhale loudly as you look over John’s shoulder to see the moon shining outside, “I’m three days past my due date, so I really hope it’s today.”

John nods, “Me too. I just want to meet her already.”

“I think she’s gonna be happy here.”

“Of course she will; she’s gonna be spoiled rotten,” he whispers, and you laugh quietly, “She’s going to love it here, baby. She’s going to love you, she’s going to love her room as well.”

You laugh a little, “She’s only a baby, so she doesn’t know what her room looks like but I hope she’ll like it and find comfort in there.”

“She will.” John whispers before he kisses your hand.

You shift in position a few times until you get comfortable again, then you look up at John, “She’s going to love you too. She already loves you. She starts moving so much the moment you start to talk.”

John laughs quietly, rubbing your belly, “Can’t wait to meet her.”

“I’m sure she can’t wait to meet her dad.”

“And her mom,” he whispers, and you smile. “She’s gonna want to meet the person who helped keep her safe all these months.”

You laugh, “She’s probably wondering who the hell fed her donuts, hot cheetos and pickles every day too.”

“Yeah, you got really into pickles there for a moment.”

“I bet she’s gonna love pickles.”

John chuckles, “I guess we’ll see soon.”

You reach over to cup John’s face, then you close your eyes when you feel him press his lips to your forehead. You grow a little dizzy from exhaustion, and you snuggle closer to John.

“Can you go back to sleep?”

“Probably not,” you shake your head, then you roll over a little to get the TV remote.

John laughs as he takes it from you, “Thanks. Do you need to call Doctor Mendez?”

“Uh, probably. I should make sure she’s actually at the hospital.” you grab your number and press her name, then you rest against him as the line rings in your ear before a receptionist answers, “Hi, this is Y/N Wick. I’m a patient of Doctor Mendez’s. I’m having some contractions, and I just wondered if she was at the hospital just in case things start speeding up.”

“I can patch you through to her right now.”

John leans down to kiss your forehead as you wait for Doctor Mendez to answer, then he looks at you when he hears her voice.

“Doctor Mendez.”

“Hi, It’s Y/N Wick--”

Doctor Mendez laughs, “It’s 3:45 in the morning, are things happening?”

“I’m having some contractions, just Braxton Hicks type ones, but I was just wanting to make sure that you’re at the hospital. You know, just in case.”

“I am. I’m just about to start my shift. There’s another doctor on call as well -- Doctor Riley. If things happen and I’m in a delivery, he’ll tend to you. He’s great. I have two other patients who look like they’ll be having their babies sometime tonight or tomorrow.”

You chuckle, “Busy schedule, huh?”

“Yeah, I love it.” she says, and you look up at John. “But I am here. Just waiting for you. I know you want to labor at home until your water breaks, but just keep me updated. And if the contractions get to be a bit too much, just head in. But you can call me at any time, okay? Don’t hesitate. If I can’t come to the phone, my nurse will be there.”

“Thank you so much. Hope she comes today.”

Doctor Mendez laughs, “I have a feeling you’ll be holding your baby by the end of the day. I hope to see you soon.”

“Bye.” you smile, then you hang up and look at John, “She’s there. She said she has a few other patients but if she’s in a delivery, another doctor is there to help. I don’t care who delivers the baby, I just want them to deliver her safely.”

John nods, “But you want Doctor Mendez, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” you laugh a little, “I feel comfortable with her, but I wouldn’t throw a fit if she was busy, of course.”

“Yeah.” John rubs your belly and kisses you, “Get some rest.”

You close your eyes again and rest your head on John’s shoulder, and you feel John rubbing your belly as you listen to the meteorologist going over the weather report for the week. Likely some rain later but today is looking sunny and warm with just a bit of a breeze.

You won’t be able to fall asleep again with contractions coming and going, but it’s nice to feel a little relaxed in the meantime in John’s arms.

7:25 AM

Leaning over the counter, you breathe your way through another mild contraction. They’re still not too bad at this point, but it’s definitely an unfamiliar pain that is not very comfortable. You exhale softly as you stand up, then you walk over to turn on the coffee maker to make John some coffee.

Bleu is sitting at your feet and looking up at you with his pathetic little eyes, and you chuckle as you lean down to pet him before you walk over to let him into the backyard.

“Hey,” John smiles as he walks into the kitchen, “How are you doing now?”

You nod as you walk over to the fridge to get out some fruit, “Good. Just gonna keep the food light for right now, but I’ll definitely need to eat and keep my strength.”

“I’ll get you whatever you want after she’s here, okay?” he smiles, and you nod as you walk over and lean against his chest, “The plan is still to leave once your water breaks, right?”

“Yeah, I just want to do as much as I can from home,” you say, looking up at him, “I’m not trying to be super woman, but I just don’t want to show up there and be turned away because I’m not ready. I’ve heard so many moms say how discouraging it is to show up only for the nurses to tell them that they’re not ready to deliver. I don’t want to be discouraged.”

John nods, “Makes sense. Did you call Doctor Mendez again?”

“Just got off the phone with her. She agrees with me.”

“Talked to your mom or--”

You both start to laugh when you hear the front door open as Tess comes inside, and you let go of John so you can make yourself some breakfast.

“Someone is having a baby today!” Tess sings, then she nudges John’s shoulder, “How are we feeling? She screamed at you yet?”

John chuckles as he sits down at the table, “Nah, she’s been so calm. It’s actually freaking me out.”

You stuff a strawberry in your mouth and shrug nonchalantly when Tess looks at you, “Contractions are about 15-20 minutes apart, they started around half past 3 this morning, but they’re still mild. Doc says that if it’s getting harder to breathe through them, then I should head in. Oh, I’m getting another one.”

John walks over to stand behind you and rubs your back as you breathe in through your nose then out through your mouth, and he massages your lower back and nods his head when you lean over the counter, “Good job.”

“Well, that certainly put an image in my mind and I’d very much like it out.” Tess says, gesturing to John standing behind you, and you laugh since you know she’s only trying to keep the spirits high.

“That’s the strongest one I’ve felt so far.” you say as you clock it on your phone, then you exhale loudly, “I want to be able to nap but I don’t think that’s going to happen. I’ve been up since 3.”

Tess walks over and hugs you, “Just try to relax though, okay? And eat! I know you told mom you’re worried about eating, but you can eat. Obviously don’t eat a steak dinner but you need to eat and keep your energy up.”

“I will,” you smile at her as you tear up, “I’m finally gonna join the mom club.”

“Yeah, we just ordered some jackets.” she jokes, and you laugh.

John rubs your back a little and smiles as he looks at Tess, “Do you have all your camera stuff?”

Tess nods, “Yup! All ready and sitting by the door. Jimmy isn’t going into work today since we both think you’ll be having a baby today!”

John chuckles, “I’ll have to call him in a bit.”

“He’s very happy for you, John. He was telling me all about it last night, talking about how much you deserve this and how excited he is for Finn to have his little cousin to hang out with.” she says, and you smile as you look at John nodding his head. Tess walks over to you again and rubs your belly, then she leans down, “Hi, it’s your favorite aunt. If you join us today, I promise to spoil you rotten! Well, I’m gonna do that regardless.”

You laugh as you reach out to hug her, “I’ll keep you updated all day.”

“Please do.” she smiles, then she waves as she leaves the kitchen, “Love you both.”

“Love you!” you say as you wave at her, then you look at John, “Do I look like shit?”

John shakes his head and smiles as he leans closer to whisper, “You look beautiful.”

Tilting your head back, you hold John’s gaze, then you laugh when he leans down to kiss you several times. You exhale softly and lean against his chest as you sway with him, then you look up at him.

“I think sex to get things going is no joke.”

John laughs, “Who knew you’d start having contractions 5 hours later?”

“Certainly not me!” you say as you both laugh, “Had I known, I would have had sex with you yesterday afternoon!”

“We’ll remember that for next time.”

Leaning back against the counter, you smile at him, “Well, I did have a membrane sweep, so that probably helped.”

“Yeah, what’s that again?”

“Uh, she basically took her finger and swept it around the opening of my cervix.” you say, nonchalantly twirling your finger.

John jerks his head back a little, “Sounds painful.”

“Eh,” you shrug. “It was alright.”

“Well,” he reaches out for you and places his hands on your waist, “I like to think labor started because of the sex.”

You laugh loudly, “Yeah, I’ll let you take the credit for this.”

9:13 AM

Looking at the things you’ve bought so far, you go through your checklist to make sure that you have everything you’ll need for a newborn. You look over to see that you have 2 boxes of wipes and diapers, but you’re starting to think that maybe you should get another box. You’re also starting to think that you need to get out of the house for a bit.

“Diaper cream!”

“What?” John yells from the other room, and after a few moments he comes into the baby’s room, “What, babe?”

You look up at him, “We need diaper cream, and I just realized that we don’t have a bottle brush either to clean the bottles.”

“I can grab that stuff later, don’t worry about it,” he says, and you look up at him and nod as you slouch a little. “Actually, you know what, let’s go now. We need some stuff for us too. We need some more milk, eggs, and toilet paper. Your mom said to get some really nice and thick toilet paper, and she also said to get some toilet wipes that are kind of like baby wipes but for you. For your…you know…”

“My vagina,” you say, and John laughs as he nods. “I just need to get out of the house for a bit.”

John smiles as he leans against the door frame, “I know.”

Getting up from the chair, you smile as you walk over to him, “Thank you.”

“You think you’ll be okay? You won’t be in too much pain?”

“No, I’m good.” you say, then you head downstairs with him to grab your purse and shoes. “I just want to get these last few things so we don’t have to run around after she’s born. I know we have family that’ll be more than happy to help, but I also don’t want to rely on everyone.”

John nods as he opens the door and watches you walking to the car, “I get that. It’s our first baby. We want to experience everything.”

“Yeah!” you smile as you get in the car.

“Aurelio called a little bit ago. Asked how everything is going, so I’m assuming you told Amanda.”

You nod, “She texted me this morning to ask how everything is going and I told her that my contractions had started.”

“She’s texted you every day this week.” he says, and you chuckle as you nod, “I’m really glad that you two hit it off. Aurelio always says how he’s happy that you two are such good friends to her.”

“I love Amanda! She’s super sweet, and I feel so comfortable asking her questions about being a mom. I can ask Tess, of course, but even Tess asks Amanda stuff too. She’s our go-to when it comes to motherhood questions.” you say, then you widen your eyes as you look at John, “Don’t tell mom!”

“My lips are sealed.” he laughs, patting your thigh.

You and John both look over at the bookshop as you drive past, and you perk up when you see some cars already parked out front. John was so busy the past few days making sure everything would be taken care of for a while since you’re not sure when you’ll be back at work.

You smile and wave when you see Grace getting out of her car, and John slows down as you roll your window down.

“Hi!”

Grace furrows her brow and tilts her head, “I thought you weren’t coming in.”

“We’re just running to the store for the last things we need.” John says, and you nod as he places his hand on your belly, “She’s having contractions though.”

“I am,” you laugh when Grace widens her eyes, “Not so bad as of right now. I haven’t had one in about 15 minutes though, so I will probably be having one soon.”

Grace grimaces, then she gestures to the shop, “I should head in, but I’m so excited for you two and I can’t wait to meet her!”

“Us too!” John says, rubbing your belly. “Hopefully today.”

“I hope so!” you laugh, then you lean over a little to hug Grace, “I’ll send you a picture of her when she’s here!”

Grace nods, “Yes, please! I can’t wait to see how gorgeous she is. Good luck! Bye.”

“Bye,” you smile, then you roll up your window as John drives down the road to the store. You look down at your phone and scrunch your eyebrows a little as you look at your logged contractions, then you tilt your head back and close your eyes, “Wondering when this next contraction is going to come.”

John chuckles, “Hopefully not when you’re in the middle of the store.”

“Yeah,” you laugh, then you grab your purse and hold it as John parks. You get out of the car and reach for his hand as you walk inside to get a cart. “We should probably get some snacks and stuff too.”

“Sounds good.” John nods, then he rubs your back, “I need to grab some toilet paper at the other end of the store. Are you okay if I run to get it? Less walking for the waddling mom.”

You laugh as you nod, “Yeah.”

John leans down and kisses you a few times, then he quickly heads to get the toilet paper. You push the cart through the aisles and grab things you need, and a few things you don’t need but want, then you turn and head over to get some milk and eggs. You scrunch your face up a little when you feel a contraction coming on, then you lean over your cart and breathe slowly.

“Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no…”

Gripping tight to the cart, you grimace as the pain spreads across your stomach, then you exhale loudly and inhale deeply to continue breathing your way through the contraction, despite not having John with you. You look around to see if he’s coming back, then you put your head down and whimper softly in pain.

“Miss,” a woman touches your back and smiles when you look at her, “Are you okay?”

You nod as you inhale deeply, then you gesture to your stomach before talking through gritted teeth, “Contractions.”

“Oh, is there someone here with you?”

“Baby, are you okay?” John asks, and you look over at him as he widens his eyes and rushes over, throwing his things into the cart before he reaches out and rubs your back to help you through your contraction. “Good job, baby.”

Exhaling softly, you lean back against the freezer door for a moment before you open it and fan yourself as John laughs.

“She’s been having contractions since 3 this morning,” John says to the woman, and she grimaces. “She’s a champ.”

“Well, good luck!” she smiles, and you give her a small wave as she walks away.

John smiles, “What a champ you are.”

You scoff as you look over at him, then you perk up when you realize you’re using the ice cream freezer to cool yourself down. You reach in to grab a few different kinds as John laughs, then you smile and put them in the cart while he gives you a funny look.

“What? I said I wanted junk!” you laugh, then you look to see that John got everything else you needed, “Okay, let’s go home before I have another contraction in the store.”

11:08 AM

Sitting around waiting for your water to break has been nerve-wracking to say the least. Because you’re just waiting around, it’s unfortunately allowed your mind to run wild and stress you out. You’re trying to take your mind off of it, so you grabbed a box of photos to look through. You want one of you as a baby since you have one of John, just to compare to see who Bug looks the most like once she’s born. You know she looks just like John from her sonogram, but you’re hoping to see a bit of you in her.

You find a picture of Tess’ mom, Claire, holding her when she was first born, and you smile for a moment before you tear up, thinking about how Tess had her first baby and her mom and dad weren’t even there with her. It must have been so hard for her. You’re incredibly lucky to have your mom with you still.

“Hey, you…” John whispers softly as he sits down next to you on the couch, “What’s going on?”

You sniffle loudly as you look at him, “Just getting emotional.”

“I see that,” he says, wiping the tear off your cheek.

“It’s gonna happen soon. We’re gonna meet her,” you whisper, and John smiles. “It’s just really hitting me, you know? I’ve wanted this my entire life; I’ve waited for this. I’m about to be a mom. I’m gonna be the mom to a really great kid. I’m so excited, but I’m also really fucking nervous.”

John laughs as he nods, “Me too.”

“I was…” you sniffle and try to stop crying, “I was looking through this box of pictures to maybe find one of me the day I was born, just to compare it to her. Only problem is I stumbled onto some other pictures that just made me even more sad.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” he asks, and you hand him a picture, “Is this Tess’ mom?”

You nod, “Yeah, Claire.”

“And let me guess, that’s Tess.” he says as he points at the baby, and you let out a small laugh.

“Yeah, this was the day Tess was born.” you say, sniffling a little, then you hand him another picture, “That was the day I was born. Look how happy my mom is to be holding both Tess and I. She had no idea that in just a few short years, Tess would legally be her daughter.”

John smiles, “Must be cool to look back at these pictures.”

“It’s sad too,” you say, looking down at the wedding picture of Tess’ parents -- Tess really is the spitting image of her mom. “They got married in Spain. Only a few people were invited. Mom was one of them. They had…a very interesting life.”

“Yeah?”

Nodding your head, you sift through the pictures, “High school sweethearts. My mom’s best friend since they were 8. After high school, my mom went to nursing school, but Tess’ parents decided to travel. They had got a ton of money from graduation, and Claire came from a really wealthy family, so when she turned 18, she got a ton of money. They put it to good use. My mom rarely saw them for a few years because they were always traveling. They’d even offer to take my mom somewhere. She only went once, and that was to Spain for their wedding.”

You close your eyes and place your hand on your stomach when you feel a contraction coming like a wave from your back to your front, and John rubs your back and helps you breathe through it. You let out a small whimper since the pain is just a little more intense than before, then you exhale loudly when it finally stops.

John reaches up to move your hair out of the way, “Keep going.”

He knows. He knows telling him random stories is helping take your mind off what’s going to happen in a few hours. God, he’s perfect.

“They got married and continued to travel some more, so my mom didn’t get to see her that much. Until Claire randomly showed up at my mom’s house. My mom wasn’t expecting her at all since she hadn’t called or…” you laugh quietly, “Or sent a postcard. That was their thing. Claire sent a postcard from everywhere they went; she never forgot. My mom has them all in a scrapbook. So, my mom was super shocked to see her. Claire said that she was ready to settle down and get a house.”

John laughs, “The house down the street from where you grew up.”

“Yeah,” you smile, nodding your head, “My mom said she was confused because Claire was kind of hard to nail down. She liked her freedom. She liked to do what she wanted.”

“Tess.”

You nod your head and look at him, “Very much like Tess. Claire told my mom that she was ready to just be…still. She was ready to have a home because she was pregnant. She was ready to be a mom. She was scared but she was ready.”

John plays with your hair and rubs your back, “So are you.”

“A few months later, my mom walked down the street to Claire’s house, sat down on the couch and told her that she was pregnant too.” you laugh, shaking your head, “Tess’ dad was so excited. He kept telling my mom how he was so excited because in a way, he now had two kids.”

John leans over to look at the picture of you and Tess wrapped around her dad’s tall lanky legs, and he lets out a small laugh.

“You know, when I was born, my biological dad wasn’t even there.” you say as you look at John, “He didn’t even know I was born; my mom never called him to tell him either.”

“He didn’t deserve to know.”

You laugh a little, “No, he didn’t. He wasn’t there, but Ray was. He was the third person to hold me -- after my mom and Claire, of course. He held me, he cried and said how happy he was. I wasn’t even his daughter. But as you can see, that doesn’t matter in my family.”

“That’s very true.”

“My dad wasn’t there when I was born, he wasn’t there for me ever, and I hate him every day for it. He left my mom. He left me,” you look down as you tear up, then you look at John, “Today is going to be so special, and I can’t tell you how much it means to me that I know you’ll be by my side the entire time. And I can promise you, Bug will be so grateful for it too.”

John leans over to kiss your forehead, then he smiles at you, “I have no plans on leaving your side. Not now, not ever. It’s me and you.”

“Thank you.” you reach up and cup his cheek, then you kiss him, “We’re gonna have a baby soon.”

“I know.” he laughs, smiling so wide his cheeks must hurt, “I can’t wait.”

12:02 PM

Your belly has gotten much tighter in the past few hours and the contractions have gotten a little more intense but it’s nothing you can’t handle. Your hips are starting to hurt more though, but you’re being brave and toughing it out! Even though it hurts like a bitch! Yeah, you’re being tough.

John suggested that you lay down and try to get some rest but there’s no way that you can. Not with the pain and not with the anxiety and excitement. And after laying on the couch this morning, you realized it only made your contractions worse, so you’re definitely not doing that again.

It took some convincing but you were able to get John to lay down in your room for a little bit for a nap. He’s your main support, so you need him to be well rested and ready since you’ll need help later on. He said he didn’t want to nap long, and you promised him you’d wake him up after 45 minutes. He put up a pretty good fight, saying that it felt wrong to be resting when you’re in pain and how it seemed so selfish, but you told him repeatedly that you need him to be well rested.

“Don’t let me sleep longer than an hour.” he said, then he widened his eyes, “And wake me up. I mean it, Mrs. Wick. I want to be here through it all.”

“What do you think I’m gonna do? Pop her out and surprise you when you wake up from your nap?”

Knowing John, he probably didn’t sleep at all.

You’re just on your way up to your bedroom now to wake him up, and you can feel another contraction coming on. You get into the bedroom and find it empty, then you look over at John as he comes out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“I figured.” you say, then you reach for his hands. “Contraction.”

John walks over to you and places his hands on your sides as you both sway back and forth, and you close your eyes and begin to breath through your contraction. You let out a small whimper since this one is a little more intense, and John smiles softly and moves your hair out of your face.

“Good job,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss your forehead so softly you’re not sure he even did, “You’re so strong. So strong, baby. You got this.”

You tilt your head back and keep your eyes closed while John continues to rub your back, then you smile softly and look at him as he smiles. He gently touches your arm and rubs it, then he moves his hand to your belly and ever so softly rubs it like he’s afraid of hurting you.

It’s finally subsided and you feel normal again, relief rushing through you.

“Wow,” you exhale, then you rock in place while John quickly gets dressed, “You didn’t nap at all?”

“I’m too excited!” he laughs, then he puts on his boxers and walks over to the closet for some jeans, his back to you so you can see his dark tattoos spread across his skin. “And I just kept thinking about you downstairs in pain. I shouldn’t have let you talk me into trying to nap.”

You laugh as you lift up your shirt and rub your belly soothingly, “I had one little contraction but it was like…a baby one. I was very proud of myself to get through it alone. Nothing compared to what I felt just now though. I like being able to labor at home. I feel much more comfortable. I feel like I can do whatever, you know. I put away the dishes and swept, then I read some of my book while I just rocked in place. Stood on the patio and listened to the birds in the trees. It’s nice. I definitely want to labor at home always.”

“Home birth next time?”

“I don’t know. Might be cool, I guess we’ll see.”

John pulls his shirt over his head and sits down to put his socks on as he looks at you, “Your belly has definitely dropped.”

“Yeah,” you look down at it and laugh, “It’s super tight right now too. You better get one last belly picture.”

“I should!” John leans over with only one sock on and grabs his phone to take a picture of you, which makes you laugh since you look like absolute shit. “I’ll have to get the camera out too.”

You inhale deeply when you feel the pressure between your legs, then you close your eyes and begin rocking again. John’s hands on your arms cause you to open your eyes, and he leans down to kiss you.

“What can I do?”

“I think I just need to get in the bath for a bit. Might help soothe the pain a little.”

John nods, then he takes your hand and walks to the bathroom with you. He leans down to get the water started for you while you get undressed, then you hold his hand as you step into the water, catching a look at yourself in the mirror.

“Wow,” you laugh as you turn to the side, “She really has dropped.”

Carefully sitting down in the water, you close your eyes and feel the warm water easing your body, and you hum as you smile a little. John sits on the edge of the tub and massages your shoulders and neck, and you lean over to put your head on his thigh.

“Thank you.”

“What?”

You look up at him, “I said thank you. You’ve been so good to me today.”

“Just trying to help you.” he whispers, still rubbing your back, “I know this is hard and it hurts, and I just want to take it all away but I can’t. It’s hard for me seeing you like this; I’m sure everyone says that though.”

“Yeah, I know that you mean it.” you laugh as you rest your cheek on his thigh and look at him, “I love you so much.”

John leans down and tilts your chin up to kiss you, “I love you, honey.”

A big smile spreads across your face as you laugh and hide your face, which makes John laugh. You’re not sure why but every time he calls you ‘honey’, you just feel like complete mush.

“Was it ‘honey’?”

“Yeah!” you laugh, then you look up at John and frown as a tear slides down your cheek, “I’m so fucking happy I met you.”

John gets up so he can sit down on the floor in front of you, then he holds your gaze as he tears up, “You’re so special to me.”

You close your eyes and lean your forehead against his as the both of you happily weep for a moment, then John leans back before pressing a kiss to your lips. He gently wipes away the tear on your cheek as he smiles, then he furrows his brow when he hears his phone.

“Stay here.”

You laugh as you gesture to yourself naked in the tub, “Not going anywhere.”

John gets up and rushes into your room, then you hear him answer his phone, “Hey, yeah, yeah, she’s good. In the tub right now. Yup, I’ll ask. Peach…”

“Yeah,” you look at him as he leans against the door frame.

“Mom wants to know how you’re feeling.” he says, then he holds his phone up so you can talk.

You lean your forehead against your hands as you rest them on the side of the tub, “Pretty good. Contractions are getting a little closer and more intense. Just waiting for my water to break now really.”

John nods his head when you glance up at him, then he laughs, “No, she’s been great. No screaming. Must be saving that for the hospital.”

You look up at John as he laughs at his own joke, and you shake your head and laugh too.

“She is, she’s staying hydrated. I made her a smoothie a little bit ago. She’s had her water bottle with her all day, just gulping down water.” he says, and you roll your eyes jokingly since your mom is being a little overbearing, but it’s understandable. “Uh, no, I haven’t. I’ll probably make something for myself soon.”

“Babe, go eat!�� you say, but he waves it off. You immediately get out of the tub and grab a towel, and John puts his hand out to stop you but you swat it away.

John shakes his head and widens his eyes, then he nods, “Yeah, oh, mom, she’s on the move. I’ll call you back. No, no, she’s hellbent on making me something to eat. Yeah, bye. Peach, wait!”

You pull your robe around you as you head down to the kitchen, “You need to eat!”

“I’m fine, baby.” John laughs as you move to grab the bread. “I’ll do it. You just worry about you.”

“That’s not how this marriage works, Wick.” you say, taking out two pieces of bread and spreading mustard on one, “You worry about me, I worry about you. Now get out some turkey.”

John laughs as he grabs the container of roasted turkey, then he slides it across the table, “God, you’re amazing. Laboring and still running to the store, making me a sandwich.”

“Oh, I’m only doing this so I can throw it in your face later that you made me make you lunch even though I was laboring.” you look at him and raise your brows as you both laugh, “Didn’t you know that?”

John shakes his head as he laughs a little, then he walks over and grabs some chips from the cupboard. He places his hand on your lower back and rubs it lightly, then he kisses your shoulder a few times before you hold up his sandwich.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he whispers in your ear, and you smile at him. “Go get back in your bath. I’ll come up with you.”

You take John’s other hand as he eats his sandwich, then you head back upstairs to your bathroom.

“Oh, it’s coming…” you stop at the door and squeeze his hand as you feel the rush of another contraction coming from your back to your front.

You look over at John as he sets his sandwich on the dresser, then he rubs your back and nods, helping you through another contraction. This one is painful, much more painful. After a few agonizing moment, you finally exhale and stand up straight.

“Well, that one fucking hurt.”

1:35 PM

After sitting in the bath for a bit, you were able to get in the shower and change into something so you don’t look so frumpy, and you also did your hair and makeup a little. You’re not worried about looking like a model while delivering a baby, but John has started to record some stuff already and you don’t want to look back on it and be upset if you looked gross. You also made sure that you had on something comfortable, so you’re wearing some loose shorts and one of John’s t-shirts. You’ll have to get undressed when you get to the hospital anyway, so you don’t want to wear anything cute.

Sitting on the couch, you lean forward and fix the little baskets with snacks you’ve put together for your nurses and your doctor, then you look over at John as he wanders aimlessly around the house. He’s been walking around non-stop for hours now, and you know he’s starting to get anxious as well.

You get up from the couch to grab your bag from the bottom of the stairs, but you stop and immediately bend over the back of the couch when you feel another contraction. You feel John’s hand on your back as you groan in pain, and he rubs your back slowly but firmly as he leans down next to you.

“In through your nose,” he says, then he nods when you look over at him, “And out through your mouth. Good job. Keep going, baby.”

“They’re so much stronger now.” you whisper as John kisses your temple, then you grab your phone to log the contraction. You exhale sharply as you stand up, then you smile as you text your mom to let her know your progress, “Mom is getting anxious too.”

John chuckles as he nods, “I know the feeling.”

“Yeah, well, I certainly do too.” you say, and John lets out a small laugh. You lean back against the couch and look down at your belly, “Take a nice long look, Wick, because I won’t have this belly for much longer.”

“I know,” John frowns as he rubs your belly, then he leans down and kisses it, “You look so sexy.”

You laugh loudly, “I think maybe you’ve seen me with a belly for so long, you’ve forgotten how sexy I look without it.”

“Oh, trust me, I know how sexy you always are.” he whispers as he leans in to kiss you.

“I’ve been a sexy pregnant woman?”

John laughs as he nods, “Are you kidding? I can’t keep my hands off of you!”

“Well,” you laugh a little, “You never have been able to though.”

“That’s very true, peach,” he whispers, then he wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, “We’re gonna have a baby today.”

You nod as you hug him back, “We definitely are.”

“On a scale from 1 to 10, how scared are you?”

Tilting your head from side to side, you look at him and shrug, “I think right now I’m about a…6. I’m not really scared anymore, I’m just really anxious and excited.”

“Me too,” he nods, then he rubs your back. “I’d say I’m 6 or 7 right now.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have anything you need to be scared about.”

John tilts his head a little, “The love of my life is about to have a baby. I don’t have the best of luck.”

“Oh, you think I’m gonna die?” you laugh, and John lets go of you and backs up a little, “I’m not gonna die!”

“I’m just worried about everything that could go wrong. It’s just how I think. I always have to prepare myself for the worst.” he says, and you reach for his hands, “I just don’t want something to be wrong with you or the baby, or something to happen to you and you get wheeled off for surgery.”

You smile softly, “I won’t.”

“Yeah, but your hemorrhage…”

“Doctor Mendez and I already spoke about that. They’re going to monitor me and the baby extra close.” you whisper softly as John rests his forehead against yours, “I’m gonna be okay, baby. I promise. Remember, I’m not going anywhere. I’m about to enter into the best chapter of my life--of our life. I’m not missing that. I am not missing out on seeing you as a dad. Hell no!”

John inhales deeply as he looks at you, then he gently cups your face and kisses you a few times, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” you smile as you look into his gorgeous brown eyes, “We’re gonna have a baby by tonight!”

Nodding his head, John smooths your hair away from your face and smiles, “Is there anything I can get you right now? Give me something to do. I’m going crazy.”

“Well, I’m hungry…” you say, and John nods, “I can’t really eat a full meal, but I can snack on some stuff.”

“I can make you another smoothie,” John says, and you smile softly as you nod, “I know, you want actual food.”

You put your hands on your belly and look down at it, “Get out of there so I can eat!”

“Plus we really want to meet you!”

“Yeah, I guess that too.” you joke, and John smiles at you. “It’s only been in the making for 9 months, right?”

John chuckles as he leans over to press a kiss to your forehead, “Let me go make your smoothie. Hey, how about some of that quinoa and avocado salad you made yesterday? That’ll provide you with some energy.”

“Sounds good.”

Grabbing your phone from the couch, you open your music app and turn on some music as John walks around to make your smoothie, and you lazily sway back and forth. You grab your birthing ball and sit down on it, bouncing up and down and doing the exercises that your doctor says can help. John smiles as he looks over at you, then he reaches down for your hand and pulls you up and into his arms as the two of you sway to the music.

“I can’t believe we’re going to meet our daughter today,” John whispers, and you tilt your head back to look at him, “I can’t believe we’re having a baby.”

You laugh as you reach up to tuck his hair behind his ear, “It’s pretty crazy.”

“I sound like a broken record, I’m sure, but I really didn’t think this would happen for me, but…” John shakes his head and laughs, “When we met and it became an option for me, it was all I could think about.”

“Oh, I’m well aware!” you laugh loudly, “You would constantly bring it up! When we watched Benji and Harper, you’d make little comments about how good I looked with a baby and how good of a mom I’d be. I was well aware that you wanted a baby.”

John chuckles, “I’m glad we finally figured our shit out.”

“Me too,” you nod, then you lean back against the counter, “As bad as that fight was when you found the pregnancy test, I’m glad it happened. It finally forced us to just fucking talk about it!”

“Looking back on it, I can’t even rationalize why I was so upset.” he says, and you laugh a little, “I was wrong though. I shouldn’t have yelled at you and been so upset.”

You jut your bottom lip out and reach for his hands, “Hey, it’s done and over with.”

“No,” John shakes his head, “I don’t want you to ever think I’d yell at you like that again. I hurt your feelings too. Hurting you hurt me. When you hurt, I hurt.”

“I know, babe. Me too.” you smile as John kisses your hand, “But the whole fight needed to happen. We just needed to put our shit on the table and discuss it, and like we always do, we talked it through. We talked it through and realized we really wanted a baby.”

John smiles, “Now look at us.”

“Yeah!” you put your hands on your belly and laugh, “About to meet our little girl.”

“God, every time you say that!” he laughs, then he puts his hand over his face since he’s tearing up. He sniffles as he moves his hand and looks at you, and his chin wobbles a little. “I just don’t think you realize how much this means to me.”

You swallow hard as you tear up, then you nod, “I do know. I know how much this means to you, Jonathan.”

“This life with you is the most precious thing I’ve ever had,” he says, and you smile softly at him, “I'm not fucking this up.”

“I know,” you reach up to cup his face, then you pull him down to your lips, “And I’m not worried that you will.”

John closes his eyes as he leans down to press his forehead against yours, and you place your hands on his chest and close your eyes too. The two of you stay like this for a few moments until you wince a little.

“Another one.” you say, then you lean over the counter and breathe your way through it with John right by your side to help.

2:12 PM

You just got off the phone with your doctor who suggested that you go for a walk to get things moving faster, so that’s the plan!

Holding John’s hand, you walk with him over to the front door, then you smile when Bleu wags his tail wildly and sits down, waiting for John to leash him. You take John’s hand again and walk outside to the front step, then you head down the driveway.

“Do you really think she’ll come today?”

You look over at John and nod, “Definitely. I would say no if my contractions weren’t getting stronger and closer together, but they are. If this was Braxton Hicks, they’d be gone by now. Plus I’m 3 days overdue -- she’s coming today.”

John smiles wide and looks at you, “I can’t wait to meet her. I’m nervous.”

“You think she won’t like you?”

“Just nervous I won’t be a good enough dad. I’m new at this.”

You laugh, “Babe, I’m new at this too! We’re gonna get through this together.”

John nods his head slowly, then he looks over at you and smiles, “What should I wear?”

“This is fine, baby.” you laugh, gesturing to his t-shirt and jeans. “You’re so cute.”

A smile spreads across John’s face as he looks down at you, then he waves at the neighbor across the street, “Hey, Bill.”

“Uh oh, I know that waddle! Baby’s coming!” he laughs, and you nod your head. “Can’t wait to meet our newest neighbor. Good luck!”

“Thank you!” you smile as you wave at him, then you put your hand out on the tree to lean on it, “Contraction.”

John rubs your back and leans down to coach you through the contraction, then he breathes along with you, “Good. One more.”

“Fuck, this…is a really strong one.” you whimper, then you lean your head on the tree and breathe deeply as you cry softly in pain. “Ooh, ah, okay.”

“That was about 8 minutes since the last one.” he says, and you nod as you look over at Jimmy pulling up next to you.

Jimmy laughs, “How’s it goin’?”

“Fucking fantastic.” you laugh as you stand up, then you slouch and look over at John, “We should head back.”

John nods, then he moves so he’s closer to Jimmy’s car as he drives alongside you, “Contractions are getting closer and stronger. We’re waiting for her water to break before we head to the hospital though. They’re getting closer together, so I think we might not have a choice but to go in before it breaks.”

You hold onto John’s arm as you walk with him back to the house, and you lean your head against his shoulder and rub your belly as you breathe deeply until you feel like yourself again.

“Yeah, man, of course.” John says, and you look over to listen in to the tail end of their conversation.

“I mean, I’d sit in the hallway.”

You smile as you nod, “You can come with, Jimmy. I mean, hopefully it’s soon, but yeah, of course you can come with.”

“We’ll call you when it’s time.” John says, then he laughs, “Fingers crossed that it’s soon. Bye.”

You wave at Jimmy as he speeds up to pull into his driveway, then you smile when John leans down to kiss you. He holds up a bottle of water and hands it to you, and you laugh as you open it to take a few sips.

“You’re so good to me, babe.” you whisper, leaning up to kiss him. “Can you walk along the lake for a bit? I feel okay right now.”

John smiles as he looks down at you, “Of course.”

2:42 PM

The trees are swaying in the wind as you and John walk hand in hand down the path near your home. It's afternoon and the sun is so warm on your skin but with the breeze, it's a little chilly. The next time you’ll be walking along the lake, you’ll be with your newborn baby, which is an insane thought.

You’ve only had one more contraction and it was just as bad as the other one. John held your hand and rubbed your back as he talked you through it, then he kissed you and told you that you’re doing a good job. Marrying your number one fan was definitely the best decision you’ve ever made.

You shiver a little as you walk in silence with John, and he looks over at you and wraps his arm around your shoulder to warm you up. Continuing your walk, you and John both gravitate towards the very spot that you had exchanged your vows.

Today has been so hectic and crazy with getting everything ready and with all your contractions, it completely slipped your mind that it’s your anniversary. Two years with John and one year married to him. Still the best thing that has ever happened to you. You still wake up and look over at him and wonder how the hell you got so lucky, you still get butterflies in your stomach when he holds your gaze a little longer than usual, still get the tingles when he touches you in all the right places. You’re still absolutely head over heels in love with him.

“One year ago today, we stood in this very spot and exchanged our vows.” you smile, reaching out for John's hands, “Kinda crazy to think we'd be here a year later with a baby on the way. And two years ago, we met. That's so crazy.”

John lets go of your right hand and tucks your hair behind your ear, “Two years later and I'm still crazy for you. Not that I’m surprised. I’ll be crazy about you for the rest of my life. Happy anniversary, baby.”

“Happy anniversary, Jonathan.”

Holding John's gaze for a moment, you smile at him before you finally lean in to kiss him. The breeze picks up a little, and you bury yourself in John's arms as best as you can to shield yourself from the cold.

“I think we should head to the hospital now,” you say, and John looks at you as you lean back in his arms, “I don’t know how dilated I am, I don’t know if things are moving along, I don’t know if she’s doing okay, I don’t know anything. If we go, they can at least tell me to go home and just wait a little longer.”

“It has been almost 12 hours,” John says, nodding his head, “How long can people labor for?”

You shrug, “Some people can labor for 32 hours. She might not even come today. At least if we go there, they can tell us something.”

“Maybe going in isn’t such a bad idea. I get that you’re bummed out about your water not breaking on its own, but don’t get too down on yourself. Your body is already doing a lot of work.”

You inhale deeply as you walk with him back to the house, “That’s true.”

“You’re so strong, baby. You have no idea how amazing you are,” John says as he opens the door, then he turns around to look at you frozen in place. “What?”

You slowly put your hand over your mouth and stare at John as he grows more and more concerned. He shifts in place a little, then he moves closer to you as you reach out for him.

“My shorts...are they wet?” you ask, and John bends down a little to look.

John stands up straight with his eyes wide, “Holy shit.”

let me know if u want to be added or removed!

#john wick x y/n #john wick x you #john wick imagine #john wick x reader #fic: hold my hand #i'm so excitedddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ik it's a terrible place to end but it ended up being way longer than i intended #ahh i hope u enjoy!! she's coming!

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etherealeeknow · 4 years ago

Text

we have each other

• rated m for mature (along with a pinch of angst? and fluff)

• pairing: soft dom!minho x fem!reader

• wc: 1.420

• tw: arguing with minho, dirty talk, grinding, slight nipple play, explicit language, unprotected vaginal sex (remember to always stay safe!), bathtub sex, soft sex, creampie,- i think that’s all, please do tell me if you find more c:

• note: lmao i was aiming for a drabble but def got carried away while writing this- plus, this is my first smut after a decade 😂 so fingers crossed you’ll enjoy it! feedbacks are much appreciated <3 also, please kindly note that english isn’t my first language. therefore, i apologize for any mistakes.

—

“holysh- this better not be- fuck!” you grunt on the unpleasant sight and smell coming from your favorite sneaker as you mentally do a karate chop to whoever let their dog poo in the middle of the crosswalk. jumping on one leg, you almost make it to the sidewalk when all of a sudden, it starts raining cats and dogs. gripping onto your handbag as tightly as you can, you run with all your might while spitting out endless curses, the situation on your left shoes long forgotten as the only thing you want right now is to get under your roof.

yet, the cycle of your bad luck doesn’t stop when you get to your destination as the one and only functioning elevator in the old apartment building is out of service. “it was totally fine this morning!” you say out loud, earning nothing in return from the ignorant security who’s half asleep by his desk. sighing, you stomp your way to the stairs. the day’s gonna be longer.

once you reach the seventh floor and spot your apartment door, you feel like crying out of happiness, but it doesn’t last long as the realization hits you that you lost your key last week and haven’t gotten the chance to get a copy. “dear heavens, why are you doing this-” your sentence is cut off when the door clicks open right when you get in front of it, barely having the chance to knock; revealing the sight of minho with his poker face, shooting you a look. “don’t,” you warn without sparing a glance as you make your way inside to hurriedly grab your needs so not much damage will be done from your drenching self.

“why didn’t you pick up my calls?” silence. “i asked you a question, y/n,” you can hear the sound of his gritting teeth even when you’re back facing him. turning around, you only glare at him before heading to the bathroom, only to spin around when he calls your name again. “really, minho? you honestly expect me to return your calls after last night? did you hit your head and forget that you literally told me to fuck off?” silence. “exactly. now please, go mind your own business and let me mind my own.” swinging the bathroom door open, you’re welcomed with the view of your cramped bathroom, now all squeaky clean and filled with tealight candles- even your bathtub has been filled with bubbles.

“min-” a tiny gasp escapes your lips when minho wraps his hands around your shoulder and his lips come in contact with your neck, kissing it softly. “h- hey, i’m all wet and sweaty,” you say, yet having no intention to stop him. “mmm, don’t care. all i want is to make you even wetter.” one by one, he unbuttons your shirt and lets it hit the floor. he draws circles around your tummy before sliding a finger in your bra, playing with your hardened nipple and making you shiver under him. “i see you’re finally cold now, huh, my hot headed baby? you want me to warm you up?” you instantly nod, sparing no time, and minho does the same—unclasping your bra while you shimmy out of your culottes and undies.

patience has always been in your virtue, but today is an exception. you miss minho so badly, his touch, his kiss, him. you want him. sure, the episode last night between the two of you leaves a certain scar somewhere on your heart, but it can’t compete with the love you have for him. you hurriedly help him undress and he chuckles, making you reddened along the process. once you look up to him, though, he’s already looking at you ever so fondly, the light in his eyes shines so bright and you just can’t take it anymore. you pull him into a kiss and feel his hand on your neck, his thumb stroking the lobule of your ear for quite some time before he bites your lower lip and you let him in to take control.

“up,” he mutters in between the kiss, tapping your foot as a signal, and you oblige; jumping slightly to wrap your legs around his waist, and you can feel the tip of his cock lightly hitting your bum. your kiss comes to a halt for quite some time when minho goes into the tub and slowly sinks down. both of you groans in satisfaction upon feeling the warm water. “i’m sorry,” minho says as his hand reaches out to caress your cheek while the other remains around your waist, pulling you even closer till there’s no more room separating you. “i didn’t mean anything i said to you last night, but that doesn’t mean i’m not at fault. i’ll fix myself for you, y/n. i know you want it as much as i do, but you’re right, things aren’t going as planned so we should take it slow for it to work out. please let me work on it with you?”

his last words come out almost in a whisper and it brings you to tears as you struggle to tell him that he doesn’t need to ask for your permission. minho has been your number one support for half of the decade. through the seemingly never ending hardships, he’s always there, so if arguing over big and small matters is what it’s gonna take for you to marry him, then so be it—because you know that at the end of the day, it’ll only strengthen your feelings for each other. feeling his eyes getting teary, minho nuzzles against your neck, out of words to say, and it softens you even more.

you take the chance to start grinding on his dick and whimper shyly, “please make love to me, minho. i need you.” that definitely brings his attention back to you and all the emotional thoughts vanish to the back of his head. unlike the usual minho who lives to tease you and could go on for hours with only sliding his cock up and down on your slit, the minho he is today only wants to give you everything you want. your moans mixing with one another when he lifts you up and guides you down by your hips, piercing through you—your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel him stretching you while he’s in the same state, already feeling on cloud nine when he feels you clenching around him. right when you’re about to ask him to move, minho pulls out of you slams back in, making you cry in pure pleasure as you begin to buck your hips against his, craving for more.

though short of breath, minho manages to chuckle at your eagerness. “baby, let me take care of you,” he says, cheeks all flushed from the heat. he proceeds to take care of the situation, going in and out of you steadily before fastening his pace. “oh my god, min- minho, ah!” you moan, partly for the ecstasy of feeling so full, but mostly because he has hit your sweet spot and the familiar knot’s finally starting to build up on your stomach. “f- faster, please, please, please-” you beg, voice now a pitch higher, yet unbothered by the possibility that the neighbors might be able to hear how minho is making you cry over his cock.

“cum with me- ah, fuck! cum around my dick, baby-” with his desperate plea and the way he twitches in you, it only takes a few more thrusts before a wave of pleasure washes over you and you cum around him while letting out a choked moan—minho follows only a second after, both his body and voice shaking over his own climax. the room’s now only filled with your heavy breathings, but they, especially minho’s, sound like music to your ears. right when your head leaves his shoulder and you lock eyes with him, everything turns black.

“you have got to be kidding me-” you groan, this time in disbelief and annoyance, but it quickly changes into a chortle when you lay your eyes on the tealight candles surrounding you. “good thing my boyfriend has set these romantic candles for me,” you joke, making minho laugh along as he, again, pulls you towards him, wanting to be as close as possible with you. “i know, right? and at least we have each other.”

“at least we have each other.”

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mde1011 · 3 years ago

Text

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

�� “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

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theramseyloft · 3 years ago

Text

7/28/21 Loft Notes

Went straight outside today because it's supposed to be 106 all week.

Stormed all night, but that didn't bring down the temperature. Just drastically elevated the humidity. Dripping sweat with in minutes of going outside to work, but it doesn't evaporate.

So I'm just overheating and sticky.

An hour and a half of work in that, and it feels like I'm gonna drop where I stand, regardless of how much I've been drinking or how cold it is.

Georgia is the front porch of hell.

Thought Nica's new clutch was a single when I came out and only saw one egg in the nest.

She laid the second last night in Luxie's favorite nest and got driven off of it

I noticed it buried in the straw.

Tucked it under her.

Ok. Think I've finally cooled down enough to function.

Huh.

Mote isn't Wukong's either.

Look how dark they are.

You can't get a darker checker than the parents were.

You can only match the darker, more saturated checker parent, or lighter.

Suki is a clean, light check.

Wu is a clean, medium check.

A dirty dark check can't come out of that pairing.

Can't be a Satin baby.

No way in hell Satin x Suki peeps wouldn't have any white flights

Same thing disqualifies Ginger

No way in hell a Cherub x Suki baby wouldn't be mostly white.

Patron: "Thistle?"

He seems the most likely.

Back boxes mucked.

There's cloud cover and it's cooler, but I'm struggling.

Patron: "May be worth taking a break until evening"

Can't. Have to get up at balls in the morning to get Ankhou to UGA's vet (3hours away) by 9:30 am.

I need to get to sleep as early as I can this evening.

Patron: "Just be careful and make sure you drink lots of water"

Yep.

Going is very, very slow, but it's going.

The person I've hired for loft help half asses a bunch of minor things that add up on the following cleaning day.

I prop some of the feed mesh up on the wall instead of laying it all flat to avoid or at fucking least minimize this mess ^

He lays it flat every time, and I have this to clean up next cleaning day.

I don't know why he fucking refuses to use the weight stones, but I use them instead of bricks so the peeps don't have to play musical bricks to figure out which one is made of salt.

Literally nothing I do or do or instruct is without purpose!

Patron: "does he still do that despite you specifically telling/showing him how to lay it??"

Problem is I only call for help when I physically cannot safely be outside.

So he's just seen how I lay it when he unlays it and I guess assumes it's arbitrary.

I get wanting to get in out of this ASAP. Believe me. But I need the job completed when I can't.

Laying the mesh flat and weighing it down with bricks is annoying, but just flipping the swing and bricks shit side down and not bothering with what ever has been pushed against the walls while sifting is fucking dangerous.

That ammonia source is just left there to leech into the air, and the mess along the walls is practically a red carpet to invite the Fire Nation scouts

Maybe saying he could do what ever he needed to get things done as comfortably as possible was a mistake, but I had thought I made clear that the job needed to be finished.

Patron: "I would gladly offer to help instead if I lived a little closer, I think it's about a 5 hour drive as it stands. : /"

Bless you.

Had to come in and shower to cool back off.

Birds have been fed.

Porch was a goopy mess of muck, so I had to pressure hose it down.

Last things I'll need to do outside are muck the rest of the boxes and sift the rest of the sand.

Well, that may have been the most disgusting thing that ever happened to me.

Cleaning a nest box and talking to a client on the phone.

A blade of straw catapulted a chunk of squeaker poo straight into my mouth.

Gross nest cleaning hazards...

New winner for grossest thing I have experienced.

We received $20 for 2 boxes of craft feathers

Bringing our PayPal Balance to $246.72

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kasey-writes-stuff · 4 years ago

Text

Got a request for a ler!mcyt of my choice and lee!reader sooooo here it is!

Sam

You and Sam were on a discord call with a few of the guys, it was yours and Sam’s first time meeting in real life! You had been hanging out for a good few hours now and things were great! Well... besides the fact your love language is touch and you don’t know Sam’s love language or how he feels about physical touch in general so you had hardly touched at all apart from the initial hug you briefly shared at the airport... it was very short though you being the first to break it off despite desperately not wanting to, you didn’t know how long of a hug he’d be comfy with and didn’t wanna overstep his boundaries...

“So y/n how was the flight?” Dream asked, you shrugged “Eh not too bad I got the aisle seat and two passengers next to me were teenagers who just sat on their phones most of the plane ride, turbulence wasn’t too bad either” Dream nodded “Thats good then” Ponk asks “So what have you and my Sammy poo been up to?” He giggles softly as Sam rolls his eyes fondly before saying “Not much really just helped them get unpacked and we’ve been chillin watching tv” Sap raised his eyebrows “Oh watching tv hm? Say they been cuddling you yet or asking for tickles?” Your face immediately turns bright red as you exclaim “SAPNAP SHUT UP!” Sam tilts his head confused “uh no they haven’t, I mean I got them to sit on the same couch as me but they haven’t really shown any want of physical touch so I’ve been respecting of that, why do you ask such specific questions sap?” Sap softly smiles “sorry y/n I just figured you would’ve told him or he would’ve found out by now” You sigh softly at him in a light hearted manner not upset at him just throughly embarrassed “it’s fine sap don’t apologize... and no I haven’t and he hasn’t... you know me I always put everyone else’s comfort and needs above my own so I didn’t wanna push things so quickly...”

Sam turns and looks at you softly “Y/N I love that you’re always thinking of others but please think of yourself for once and explain what sapnap is on about” Your eyes soften as you look into his “Well it’s just... my main love language is physical touch and usually whenever I’m with Sap, George and Dream I hug them and cuddle them a lot especially when watching tv and movies but really just any chance I get to be connected to them even just our pinkies being connected I take it because it makes me feel really calm and happy but with this being our first time meeting I don’t know your love language or just feelings on physical touch in general and I was too embarrassed to ask because I didn’t wanna push any boundaries...”

Sam had turned into the pouty face emoji, he lightly and carefully cupped your cheek “Y/N thank you for being worried about my boundaries honey but if you wanted cuddles you should’ve just asked, I would give them to you in a heart beat!” Your eyes slowly look towards his “Really you’re not just saying that are you? Because I really don’t want you to just be feeling like-“ Sam gently puts a finger over your mouth to shush you giggling a bit as he says “honey honey honey ppplllhehehahassehehe calm down, I’m not just saying it to say it I’m more than okay with physical touch I don’t know much about love languages but I would guess it’s probably mine too so don’t worry okay?” His thumb gently caressed your cheek as you smiled softly at him “Okay I’ll try to calm down and think of myself more” Sam smiled softly “you can do it I know you can”

George suddenly pipes up smirking softly as he says “So are we just gonna ignore the last bit that sapnap asked about or what?” Your face flushes a light red at his words and smirk as you quickly try and act oblivious out of flusterdness “Uh what last bit all he mentioned was cuddling right? I mean I don’t know what you all heard but I only heard about the cuddling right?” They all rolled their eyes and a few of them giggled softly, sap spoke up “Actually George is right I did mention something else, I asked if you had for tickles yet” he smirked clearly satisfied with how your blush was already turning an even more noticeable red

Sam raised an eyebrow curiously “uh no they haven’t asked for any tickles? Why do they like them?” Dream grins “Oh no no no they don’t just like them really they love them! Like I’m talking all tickles, rough, soft,playful, anything and almost anywhere!” George nods “Yea the only off limit spots are their feet and knees because they just don’t feel comfortable with their feet being touched and their knees aren’t ticklish neither is their neck” sap nods “Yea they just feel pain whenever someone tries to tickle their knees so we always stay away from there” Ponk who had been silent most of the time just taking in the info his own self possibly for future reference..... audibly awed about how precious this whole thing was “Y/N you are literally the most precious person I think I’ve ever had the absolute pleasure of meeting, we have to meet up in person sometime so I can give you the biggest hug possible!”

You pout slightly at ponks overwhelming kindness and adorableness “Aweee ponksss we’ll meet up soon I’ll be sure of it!” He clapped and smiled excitedly making you smile more, Sam suddenly spoke up “excuse me you’re not meeting my ponky before me!” You scoffed lightly “just watch me!” He snickered softly as he reached out and poked your side “No! You’ll be watching me meet him first!” You jumped and yelped slightly from the poke “ah! Nooo Sam it’ll be you watching me meet him first! And I’m gonna give him the biggest hug ever possible and you’re gonna be so jealous!” Sam smirked very softly at your reaction as he reached out giving you multiple alternating pokes on both your sides “no I’m gonna give ponky the biggest hug ever in the whole world and you’re gonna be jealous!” You squeaked softly at each poke and you heard ponk begin to speak giggling slightly

“Guys guys guys haha just come meet me at the same time okay? We can all have one big group hug! The biggest group hug ever possible!” Sam slowly stopped the pokes and you both looked at each other and nodded before both saying okay! And so you and the guys chatted for a little longer Sam every so often giving you little side pokes and Sam trying to ask the guys for more information on you but the guys refusing and saying he has to figure everything out for himself, before you guys ended call and went to go lounge around in the living room... Sam lays on the couch and opens his arms, you shyly smile lightly blushing a rose color as you lay besides him, his arms wrap slowly and loosely around you his head on top of yours as his hands rest on your stomach, you feel butterflies welling in your stomach just at the simple placement of his hands.... He sighs contently as do you, you let out a small squeak feeling his hands begin to gently rub your stomach “ee! Shaahmm...”

He smiles softly “Yes honey? Something the matter?” You grumble softly cursing him being so teasy already, he doesn’t hear or if he does just ignores it and continues on as you being to wiggle softly... he switches to gently scratching around your stomach in circles causing for you to break into light giggles “ssshahahmmmm” He giggles softly “yes honey what’s wrong why are you so giggly? Wait does this tickle? Awe are you ticklish honey bear? How adorable!” He speeds up slightly making your giggles raise and the teasing makes your blush brighter

“sshahahHAHAHAHhahhammmmm ddoohhoonnntttt sshhaHAHAHyyyy tttHAHAHhahahttt!” He pouts playfully “Don’t say what honey bear? Tickle? Ticklish? Awe do those words fluster you? Do they maybe make the tickles tickle even more?” “SAHHAHAHAMMM!” “I’ll take that as a yes!” He giggles softly as he begins squeezing your sides, making for you to jump and wiggle around your body attempting to instinctively dislodge his hands as your giggles raise becoming much louder “HAHAHAAHAHAHA SSSHAHAHAHMMM IHIHIHITTT TTTHIHIHAHAHAH!” “Awe can’t even say the word can you? That’s okay honey bear I can say it for you! Tickletickletickletickletickletickletickletickletickle!” Your hands fly up to your face to muffle your loud giggles and to cover your maddeningly red face “AAHH SSSHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAMMMMM!” He chuckled softly continuing the squeezes for a few more minutes for slowing down to give you a break “You okay sweetheart?” You nod your head softly giggling residually “ihihihimmm ggohhooodd”

he smiled softly as he gently pet your head “do you want more or have you had enough?” Your face flushes in embarrassment as you say “more please if you don’t mind...” he grins softly as he says “of course I don’t mind! How about I gooooo here!” He experimentally squeezes your hips and he jumps slightly as you scream and then giggle “AAAHH hahaha!” “Oh death spot sweetheart?” You nod shyly “Ihihi yew hahah” He smiles more as he says “can I?” You nod and so he begins squeezing away and you lose it screaming before falling into cackles which only seem to increase as he begins circling the divots of your hips with his thumbs “AAHAHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!” “Wow this must tickle like crazy for you to laugh like that sweetheart!” You nod wordlessly laughing hysterically before squealing as he switches to massaging, he continues wordlessly for a few moments before he slows down to simply tapping along your hips and sides leaving you to giggle residually as your squirm slightly from the tapping “hehehahhahahehahah wwwohohohohowww hhbehehahaha” “You gonna be okay sweetheart?”

You nod softly “yyeheheahhaha” He smiles lightly as he gently rubs your back “that’s good, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself because I’ll be honest sweetheart I enjoyed myself too” You looked up at him softly “Really?” He nodded “of course I wouldn’t just say that if I didn’t mean it!” You turn towards him and hug him tightly hiding your head in his chest, he hugs you back just as tightly... you raise your head “hey sammy?” He looks down at you “yea honey?” You smirk slightly “Are you.... ya know?” He blushes softly “I-uh I... no?” You snicker “hmm I’m not sure I believe you” you gently wiggle your fingers on his sides and he bursts into giggles

And so now it was Sam’s turn to be a cuddly tickly mess!

#ler!sam #lee!reader #tickle fic #mcyt tickle fic #mcyt x platonic reader #dsmp tickle

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lukesperfectharmonyhair · 4 years ago

Text

im rewatching jatp instead of studying for the 3 tests i have tomorrow and i thought i would share my thoughts and reactions with each episode so enjoy!!....

wake up

- hearing the “1, 2, 3″ at the start of the episode gives me more serotonin than my antidepressants ever will

- julie’s slippers...that’s it...that’s the thought

- that dry ass pasta the molina’s are eating for dinner??? someone needs to give my man ray some cooking tips or a cookbook... something

-the looks the boys give julie when she says it was an OLD cd she found. as if they could be old??

-the entire julie and luke kitchen scene i mean there are no words to describe how much i am in love with scene. the banter, the flirting, luke giving this girl he literally just met an actual PIECE OF HIS SOUL so she can get music back into her life. not a single time have i watched that scene and not felt my heart literally grow cause of how cute they are.

-the entire scene when julie is singing wake up. that scene is what made me literally CRAVE watching the other episodes. like of course i was going to watch them cause i wasn’t gonna just stop watching a show after one episode, and yes the show was good already but seeing the lighting and her voice, and just everything about the scene,,,,*chef’s kiss*

bright

-flynn drinking seven sodas....SEVEN??? i would be throwing up if i drank more than like 2 and she drank seven,,,no ma’am.

- flynn and her trumpet. talented queen

- “ i wouldn’t have given you the song if i didnt think you were gonna rock it.” lmaooo im crying:)

- i start tearing up every time julie goes to play the first notes of bright,,, and then i’m full on bawling when the guys come in and play with her cause...they weren’t playing to be seen they were playing to be there for her and play to comfort her. pls i love them<3

- nick vibing in the front row

- the tech guy deserves so much more praise

flying solo

- reggie’s little butt shake or whatever you wanna call it!!

- julie’s little laugh when she yells at the guys to stop it

- “and we’re on the runway again” GENUINELY one of my favorite lines of the whole show pls i love luke’s humor

-this is the first time i noticed this but reggie’s face after alex says “DONT TELL ME HOW TO GHOST!”

-WILLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU<3333333

-the slow mo helmet take off,,,,me too alex me too

-willie’s little giggles:))))

- “oh-oh!”

- “no clue” alex i love you baby<3

- next season better give us a scene of flynn throwing eggs at someone’s house because i think it’s safe to say we were robbed of that experience.

- the flying solo performance is just amazing

i got the music

- just the whole opening scene is so cute ....the dancing, singing, happiness RADIATING from julie

-nick in an all white suit and fedora

-WILLEX MUSEUM DATE YEAH BABYYYYY

- carefree skateboarder bf and anxiety ridden drummer bf

- yelling. in. museums.

-alex thinking he’s literally dying again because of the salt... zero braincells in this band.

- another scene we were robbed of that i need to see in season 2...reggie singing “home is where my horse is” while alex and julie sit patiently and attentively listen to him but luke looks like he’s about to commit murder

- i get SO MUCH second hand embarrassment for julie when she looks through luke’s songbook and says “ wow luke I didn’t know you were such a romantic” julie baby i love you but...eekkkkk

- “he looks like a substitute teacher”- where did he come up with that like so many other things he could be compared to but a substitute teacher??

- “luke introduced you to rock” heck yeah it did.. literal soulmates

- would like to see a picture of the raccoon in Flynn’s backyard

- wee woo wee woo police sirens://///

- julie’s outfit ughhhh i love it

- the poster that im pretty sure says “sexiest role” behind caleb... why was that necessary

the other side of hollywood

- THE ENTIRE PERFORMANCE OF THE OTHER SIDE OF HOLLYWOOD

- i lose my absolute shit over this song omg literal chills

- the cape grab i cannot physically do this rn

- willie being so excited the entire performance and looking over to see alex’s reaction

- reggie being in awe everytime one of the girls performing does something.. me too reggie

-”well i wouldn't really call it mAAgiCcCC bUT”

- nick and his fedora again

- alex has a crush, alex has a crush on.....WILLIE

-the boys eating food for the first time in 25 years is honestly so realistic

-alex shoving a whole slice of pizza in his mouth

- lukes ‘OH MY GODDDDD’

- reggie kissing his meatball sub that looks painfully dry but also delicious

- the continuation of the other side of hollywood performance and everyone dancing

-reggie imitating caleb’s evil laugh and owen trying so hard not to break

-me getting mad at the boys for not showing up for julie and being sad with her but at the same time i’m obviously not mad at the boys just...disappointed?? idk

finally free

- how did julie get to the school if she missed the first three classes?? wasn’t she still at flynn’s house from the night before cause she slept over so did she walk to school or was she just sitting in flynn’s house by herself and one of flynn’s parents was like you gonna go to school or???

-dance class with nicky poo<3

-reggie fixing his amp in the rain

-julie’s blue dress outfit in this episode is my ABSOLUTE favorite

- the birthday candle scene makes me sob like a little baby,,,and rightfully so

- julie smart, smart to be taking calculus as what a sophomore??

- all eyes on me yes queen iconic

- alex dancing is how i dance in my brain whenever the song comes on

- finally free as a song is NEVER given enough credit and why not?? it’s my favorite song they do as a band AND the madison’s vocals and the echoing part omg i loveeeee

- and the whole performance with luke’s heart eyes. i count this performance as the moment luke like fell in love with julie...like full on just blown away with how much awe and admiration he has for her in that moment and all the time.

- julie and luke singing “and you’re a part of me” while staring directly into each others soul,,,yeah that’s love kids

edge of great

- carlos being the ghost hunter he is and tía being done with him

- luke’s pouting face

- reggie and ray making breakfast together is so wholesome. reggie really loves and seeks comfort in ray and i love that

- luke just waiting next to julie’s locker and his little “hey”

- the first time i watch this scene i thought charlie was from new york cause of the way he says “ i can't do this without you” and then i watched the cast interviews and just realized he is somewhat joey tribbiani

- jealous luke hehehehehhehehe

- “well dont you look shARrP”- yes he does luke thank you very much

- “uh oh i think someone has a crush on julie” yeah you do you little shit,,, now admit it to her

- the proud look on luke’s face when he realizes julie is still paying attention to HIM even though she’s supposed to be having a full on conversation with nick

- the shoulder push ( as someone who has had their own shoulder pushed in the middle of a high school hallway as a weird way of flirting,,,,i can definitely somewhat attest to how luke is feeling in that moment and i too continued to flirt with the person who shoulder shoved me while we were still standing in the hallway)

- the flow from whatever the hell dance nick and julie are doing and the perfect harmony dance is so special to me and i love it

-ADOANCLOBNAOVBCOAB THE HAIR PLSSSSS

- EVERYTIME THE SCENE COMES ON AND I SEE HIM WALKING THROUGH THE MIRROR I HAVE TO PAUSE THE SHOW FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WHILE I DIE LAUGHING BECAUSE THE HAIR IS SO BAD EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD BE USED TO HOW IT LOOKS AFTER WATCHING THIS SHOW LITERALLY 30 TIMES

- i think people see my username and assume i like his hair in this scene but...ummm fun little fact i do not like it

- the dance is so good though ugh my babies

- the hair

- madison is gorgeous

- another season 2 scene i need: julie teaching this dance to luke and they perform it in front of alex and reggie so they can see luke roll on the floor like that

-the hair

- the lift i loveeee

- the voices at the end of the song *chef’s kiss*

- the way julie spins out from luke and into nick omg so good

- “thAnKs pArTnER”

- luke denying his feelings for julie,,,babe pls

- the whole edge of great performance is so good and beautiful and the colors are SPECTACULAR

-julie avoiding luke’s gaze lolz

- can't believe my mans really tried to deny he didn’t have feelings for julie like 5 hours earlier even though he’s getting upset because she hasn’t looked at him in 2 minutes

- THE. GUITAR. RIFF. SOLO.

- when i finally learn how to play the electric guitar well enough to learn the guitar solo... it’s over for everyone

-nick just came to watch the girl he likes perform not watch her flirt with a hologram plssss can we give this man a break next season.

- “we have to say goodbye to julie”- that’s literally more important to luke than not playing music anymore because julie is music to him now

unsaid emily

-already crying and the episode hasn't even started

-willex in the orpheum

- alex literally being OVER reggie

- nope too emotionally unstable to watch this scene right now

- my therapist will be hearing about this tomorrow

- show us the baby picture of luke cowards

- this is such a beautiful song that makes me cry every fucking time gosh damn it

- everytime i watch the flashback scene of luke on his bike i think of “christmas song” by phoebe bridges and i cry even more

- i tried to learn how to play this song on my electric guitar (because i dont have an acoustic guitar) and i ended up crying half way through so i do not think i will be playing it anytime soon:/

- the harmonies *chef’s kiss*

- THE POLICE LIGHTS ....i cry

- FAT tears rolling down my face

- there's literally not a moment i don’t cry during this episode

- interesting little relationship :0

- when i played percussion in 7th grade i used to lay down on the couch in the practice room at school ( which god knows what people did on that couch...ew) and stick my drumsticks up my nose too,,,, just another similarity between alex and i

stand tall

- willie really drove a bus 200 miles into the desert for his crush

- WILLEX HUG

- i love willie no last name so much,,,i just wanna hold and protect him

- alex’s ballerina dance

-julie’s overall outfit i love<3

- “im swimming”

- the way carlos hangs up the iPad on tía makes me CRACK UP he’s just lmao bye girl

- another julie outfit i love

- “anything julie. you know that.” AHHHHHAASIDSJFPACISN love bitches

- the suits

- luke’s hair in this episode is so much better than the perfect harmony hair pls

- YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE

- the way luke looks so restricted and confined in his suit... but at the same time he looks like a 10 week old puppy

-luke’s AGGRESSIVE but small foot tapping leading up to being on the stage

- the solos:)))))

- crying again over julie’s monologue to her mom

- julie really was brave enough to be ready to perform by herself

-the way Trevor looks at carrie when she says “been here before”

-ALEXXXXXX

-REGGIEEEEE

-luuukkKKKEEEEEEE

- this performance makes me cry

- especially the first time when i saw luke flickering...sobs

- he finally looks free in his suit:))

- alex’s solo is so pretty i love him

- reggie’s solo too

- nick just straight up vibing the entire performance

- alex and luke holding hands...hehehe cute besties

- “thank you, guys” NO THANK YOU

- the way julie begs for them to do something about the jolts for HER cause she knows luke would never say no to her

- “no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you,” I JUST SCREAMED AND IM PRETTY SURE I WOKE UP MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD...whoops

- going back to that line i could say so much about it but....for someone who’s life was literally MUSIC for the 17 years he was alive, and after finding out he could play music again even though he was dead and saying it made him feel alive, he would give that up- he would give up playing his guitar, playing in a band with his friends, give up writing and singing music- if he wasn’t doing that with julie. that’s more than saying i love you,,,that’s literally like saying i’d give up my ENTIRE LIFE and what i love to do if i dont get to do it with you

- i just made myself cry with that description...wow

-the hug<3

-also imagine how luke felt in that moment,,, hearing this girl, once again that he would give his life up for, saying in his ear that she loves them. i would motherfucking glow too, luke

- *passionately but gently holds each others faces*

-HANDS OFF MY BABY NICK, CALEB

- caleb’s outfit is....something

- the head turn plssss

this was so long and i am so sorry but if you read this far.....leave some of your own reactions or thoughts:)))

k goodnight im gonna, ugh, finally go study ://

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #julie molina #alex mercer #luke patterson #reggie peters #willie #flynn jatp #nick jatp #carrie wilson #renew jatp #netflix PLEASE we are begging give us a season 2

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emy-loves-you · 4 years ago

Text

Snowed In

Janus and Remus get stuck out in the middle of the snowstorm. Patton is the kind stranger that saves them.

Pajamus (Patton/Janus/Remus)

Word Count: 4,718

Warnings: Mentions of Sex, Guns (but no gun injuries), Hypothermia

Masterlist

Janus growled as he trudged through the knee-high snow. “W-why did you believe that it was a good idea to p-play with a gun in the car?” His boyfriend, Remus, merely shrugged, apparently not seeing anything wrong with their current scenario. Janus rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I love you too, Janny-poo!” Even though Remus seemed to have no trouble moving forward, practically skipping through the snowstorm, Janus knew he wasn’t fairing much better.

Janus frowned as another shiver ran down his spine. “We need to find shelter for the night, and possibly a way to call Roman.”

Remus whined, trying to cover up the way his legs buckled for a moment. “Why did you have to bring up my brother? He always interrupts our fun time, even when he’s not here?”

Janus snorted, blinking rapidly when his vision went spotty. “You see this as a fun time?”

Remus giggled breathlessly. “Of course! We’re alone, I’ve got Bertha in one pocket and a condom in the other, and Roro isn’t here to cockblock us!”

“Hello?!” Both of them froze, staring at the pale yellow light in the distance. “Is anyone out there?”

“Over here, Sweetcheeks!” Janus couldn’t even find himself to be mad at his boyfriend giving away their location to a potential serial killer, his vision swimming as he forced himself to stay standing. The yellow light came closer, but Janus couldn’t focus on it, the winter chill seeping through his bones. He heard muffled words before his world went dark.

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When Janus woke up, his first reaction was to shiver violently. He groaned softly, gripping the soft blankets around him. There was a gasp followed by footsteps before a cool hand touched his cheeks. Janus flinched away from the touch before falling unconscious once more.

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This pattern of waking up to shiver before falling back asleep continued several times before Janus regained the strength to stay awake. This time he was actually able to open his eyes, and he was slightly surprised to find the room empty. Seeing as this was the first time he’s been awake long enough to see, Janus took stock of his surroundings.

The room was large, but it was difficult to view it that way, the walls covered floor-to-ceiling with large wooden bookshelves. Each shelf was filled to the brim with books, except for a few shelves clearly missing a book or two. The bed Janus was sleeping in was smaller than he was used to, most likely a double-mattress, with dozens of dark blue and space-themed blankets on top of him. A small lamp sat on the night table next to him, the stars and designs on the body of the lamp appearing to be hand-painted.

“Oh, you’re awake!” Janus’ head snapped to the doorway and he winced, clutching his head as a headache quickly formed. “Oh, don’t strain yourself, please! Here, take this.” Janus felt something being pressed against his lips and he quickly pressed them shut, not trusting whoever was in front of him. “It’s just pain medication, I swear. Here, would you take it if I showed you the bottle it came from?” Janus didn’t move, and the stranger seemed to take that as confirmation. “Alright, I’ll be right back!”

The footsteps retreated but Janus kept his eyes closed, trying to ignore how much his headache was affecting him. As he waited for the stranger to come back, he belatedly realized two very important things:

The clothes Janus was wearing were not the clothes he was wearing out in the snow, and he didn’t know where his clothes or his gun were.

Remus wasn’t there with him.

Janus grunted softly as he forced himself into a sitting position, ignoring how heavy his limbs felt. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, shivering as his bare foot brushed against the nightstand. Just as he was about to try and get up the footsteps returned followed by a gasp in surprise.

“Oh, please don’t get up yet! You’re fever just broke an hour ago and I don’t want you to overexert yourself. Here, I have the bottle they came in.” Janus glanced down at the bottle now in his palm and read the label. “Headache relief, take 2 every 3 hours, no more than 12 in 24 hours.” Janus tried to remember the numbers but his head was still sluggish. He tried to open the bottle, but the child-proof seal proved to be too much for him at the moment. A warm hand covered his own as the stranger opened the pill bottle, their movement slow and obvious as they kept the bottle in Janus’ field of vision.

The pills were gently pressed to his lips once again, but this time Janus opened his mouth to take them. A glass of water was held up to his mouth and Janus drank eagerly, a small stream spilling down his chin. When the glass was pulled away Janus gasped for breath, the cold water making it easier to focus. “...where...am I?”

The stranger turned away and Janus looked up at them for the first time. They were short and on the heftier side, tufts of curly chestnut-brown hair peeking out over a sky-blue turtleneck. “You’re in my cabin, around a 10-minute drive from where I found you, and you’ve been here for almost 2 days now. You and your friend had some pretty bad hypothermia. What were you doing out there in the middle of a snowstorm?”

Janus shrugged. “My friend was messing around and we crashed the car. Where are my clothes? And my friend?”

The stranger turned around and Janus bit back a gasp. Standing in front of him was the most beautiful angel he had ever seen. Soft, round face; a smattering of freckles across pale skin. A pair of wire-framed glasses made their cerulean blue eyes look big and innocent, and plump pink lips formed a little ‘o’ before they answered. “Sorry, I had to change you out of those wet clothes. They’re all clean and dry downstairs in the living room, along with your… other items.” Janus suddenly remembered his lack of weapons and gripped the blankets tighter, suddenly feeling much more exposed. “Your friend is in the room next to yours.” They gestured to the door they didn’t come in through. “The rooms are connected through that closet, and when you’re feeling better I’ll help you over there so you can see him. His fever broke last night, but he hasn’t woken up yet.”

Janus snorted, speaking without fully thinking. “Remus sleeps like a log, he’ll wake up when he’s ready to wake up.”

The stranger gasped, a pretty pink blush dancing across their cheeks. “Oh, how rude of me!” They held out their hand for Janus to take. “I’m Patton Heart, he/him pronouns please!”

Janus tentatively took Patton’s hand, giving him one firm shake before letting go. “Janus, he/him. Remus also goes by he/him.”

Patton smiled and Janus felt his heart practically melting. “Thank you for letting me know!” Janus heard something beeping and Patton gasped. “My soup! I’ve gotta go take care of that.” He rushed over to the door before giving Janus one last stern look. “Don’t you even think about getting out of bed, mister! You need to save your strength so you’ll get better.” He nodded dumbly and Patton smiled, closing the door behind him.

Janus stared at the door for a few more minutes before shrugging, deciding it best to follow Patton’s orders for now. The man didn’t seem threatening, and he didn’t appear to be a threat to Janus or Remus.

Janus groaned as he laid down. “Roman’s gonna kill me. I’ve gotta give him another raise when this is all over.”

Roman was Remus’ twin and Janus’ personal assistant. Janus’ parents had each owned their own successful companies before they passed away, and Janus had made work of expanding them into his own financial empire. Roman gladly took up the job of managing the company behind the scenes, making Janus’ only job to make the big decisions, keep Remus happy, and not get kidnapped. While that third one could be easily solved with a few bodyguards, Janus preferred to just have himself and Remus armed and vigilant.

He had been driving home from a business meeting (he hated having chauffeurs when he could drive perfectly well on his own) when Remus decided to mess around with his favorite pistol, or ‘Bertha’ as he tended to call it, and they ended up crashing the car.

Janus sighed, his eyelids already growing heavy again. Maybe just a few more minutes of sleep…

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It wasn’t until around noon the next day that Remus woke up. Janus had been awake for around 2 hours now and had just finished eating when he heard Remus swearing in the next room. While Patton went to assure Remus that ‘no, you aren’t being kidnapped right now, and no, this is not a sex thing,’ Janus slowly got himself out of bed and made his way through the open door and into the other room. This room was much darker than the one Janus was staying in, with purple and black decor and My Chemical Romance posters on the walls. Patton was facing away from Janus, fretting nervously. Remus was still laying on the bed, whining about how much his head hurt. “My head feels like it just had an orgy with Dwayne Johnson and-”

“Remus.” Janus growled out, and both of them turned to look at him.

“Janny!” Remus whined out, making grabby hands. Janus rolled his eyes and slowly walked over to the bed, putting his hand in Remus’ hair. Remus melted into the touch and Janus smiled fondly.

There was a sigh and Janus looked up to see Patton frowning slightly. “I could’ve helped you in here, you know.”

Janus smirked. “I’ll be sure to ask for help next time.” He then sighed. “We need to call a friend to pick us up. May we borrow a phone?”

Patton frowned, looking away. “I’m sorry, but the phone lines went down last night. And the storm’s still going on strong, so even if you managed to call someone they wouldn’t be able to get here until after the storm let up. But you can stay here for as long as you’d like!”

Janus glanced over to Remus, who just shrugged. Janus thought about it for a few minutes before sighing. “If you’re alright with it, then we’ll stay.” It’s not like there’s much else we can do.

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The next day, Janus and Remus recovered most of their strength and explored the rest of the house. It was a simple house, with three bedrooms and one bathroom upstairs, and a bathroom, living room, study, kitchen and dining room downstairs. When they made their way to the living room, Janus’ attention was immediately drawn to the dozens of photos that lined the walls. All of them had Patton with two children. One kid was pale and short, probably around 12 years old, with Patton’s chestnut-brown hair but brown eyes. They wore an oversized purple hoodie in most of the photos. The other kid was tall and lanky, probably around 16 years old, with much darker skin and wavy black hair tied in a knot and dark blue eyes. They wore a pair of glasses like Patton’s, along with a polo and necktie in most of the photos. “Hey, Pat?”

“Yeah?” Patton called out before his head popped into the living room, a tray of small sandwiches in hand.

Janus gestured to the pictures lining the walls. “Who’s in these pictures?”

Patton beamed, setting down the tray. “Oh, those are my kiddos! Virgil’s the one in the hoodie, and Logan’s the one with the necktie! They’re just the sweetest little things!”

Remus piped up from where he was sitting on the couch. “Why aren’t they here with you?”

Patton sighed, sitting down. “Well, Virgil’s mom got pretty upset when I came out as bisexual, so we got divorced around 3 years ago. I get to have him all summer vacation and on weekends, while she gets him on weekdays and all winter break. Logan’s technically my godson, but I adopted him 2 years ago. He goes to a fancy boarding school for gifted kiddos out in the city, and he wanted to stay there during the break since Virgil wouldn’t be here.”

Janus frowned, his chest aching at the sad look on Patton’s face. “What are your sons like, Patton?” he asked, not being subtle with his desire to change the subject.

Patton didn’t seem to notice, smiling like a proud parent should. “Oh, they’re the bestest kiddos ever! Logan’s really smart, and he always has fun little facts to share! And Virgil’s really good with music, I don’t recognize most of the songs he plays but they’re still really good!”

Janus smiled, taking a bite of his sandwich while Patton rambled on about his kids. Maybe staying here for a little while wouldn’t be so bad after all.

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“Remus, we are not having sex in a kid’s closet!”

It had been almost a week since Janus first met Patton, and things had been going pretty smoothly so far. The three of them spent most of their time chatting and spending time together. It was obvious that Patton was lonely in this big cabin all by himself, almost as obvious as how attached Janus and Remus were to the sweater-wearing dad. There were very few moments where Janus wasn’t either spending time with Patton or thinking about him. And it was very obvious that Remus was feeling the same way, and that he was trying to find distractions for these newfound feelings.

By having sex in a closet, apparently.

Remus whined, practically throwing all of his weight on top of Janus. “C’mon Jan, it’s been ages since I’ve touched you!” He pouted and batted his eyelashes. “Pretty please, Janus?”

Janus sighed, leaning back on the door that connected the closet to Virgil’s room. They hadn’t told Patton that they were in a relationship, and they were still sleeping in the kid’s bedrooms, so they hadn’t actually had any time together in a while. “Just kissing.”

Remus purred, his hand reaching behind Janus’ head to pull him closer. “Fine by me.” They wrapped their arms around each other, their first few kisses hot and desperate, before melting into slow, languid kisses-

“Eep!” Janus quickly pushed Remus off of him, who fell back on the floor with a quiet ‘oof.’ Patton stood in the doorway to Logan’s room, blushing brighter than a cherry. “I’m sorry- I didn’t- I- I’ve gotta go!” And then he was gone.

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When they eventually got over their own mortification of getting caught and found Patton again, he was perfectly fine, all traces of blush gone. “You should have told me that you two were together!” He chided. “I’ll take Logan’s bed and you can have the bed in my room!”

Janus blushed. “We’re perfectly fine with our current arrangements Pa-”

Patton interrupted, putting his hands on his hips in the ‘I’m the dad, you listen to me’ voice. “Nope, no buts!”

Remus snorted. “Hehe, ‘butts.’”

Patton smiled fondly before continuing. “I’ll be fine in Logan’s room. Besides, that bed’s too big for little ol’ me anyways.” He clapped his hands and spun around towards the kitchen. “Now, who’s ready for lunch?”

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Patton was avoiding them.

Well, avoiding would be the wrong word to use, but Janus didn’t really have a word to fit their current situation. He still ate with them and they still spent hours chatting about anything they could think of. But there were quite a few times where he would get really excited or he would give Janus or Remus a look that would make their hearts melt, but then the light in his eyes would die and he would close himself off. Janus didn’t know what to make of it.

It didn’t help that he and Remus were absolutely smitten with the kind-hearted man. They’ve been sleeping in Patton’s bed for 3 nights now (an alaskan king bed, two big for the two of them, and definitely too big for Patton all on his own), and contrary to what would’ve been expected, they didn’t spend their time getting, ahem, reacquainted with each other. Instead, they cuddled on the too-large bed, whispering about how they felt about the amazing man who slept just down the hall.

They had just finished lunch and Patton had rushed off to clean up the plates, despite Janus and Remus’ assurances that they could clean their own dishes. Janus got up to at least clean up the living room when-

Knock knock knock

Patton stepped back into the living room, his eyebrows pinched as he wiped his hands on a small towel. “That’s odd, no one should be out in the middle of this storm.” Patton opened the door and Janus immediately knew who it was from his voice alone.

“Hello, I’m looking for two men. One looks like me with a mustache and the other looks like he would actually take candy from a baby.”

“Gee, thanks.” Janus called out sarcastically as Remus shouted “Roro!”

Patton came back to the living room with an enraged Roman trailing behind. Roman stormed in and grabbed Janus by his (technically Patton’s) sweater, shaking him slightly. “Where the hell were you?!? I thought you and Remus were kidnapped! I was tempted to send out a search party! You’re lucky that the GPS on you’re car was still working!”

Janus gulped. He had almost forgotten how terrifying Roman can get. Almost. “Relax, we’re both safe and sound, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

Roman glared at him before letting go of him with a huff. He then pulled Remus into a hug. “God, don’t scare me like that again.”

Remus chuckled softly. “You know I can’t promise that Roro.” He looked up at Patton’s confused look and pulled away from Roman. “Oh, time for introductions! Patton, this is Roman, my twin. Roro, this is Patton. He’s the one who saved us!”

Roman looked up at Patton and nodded. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Patton. Thank you for saving my brother. And my boss.”

Patton blushed. “Oh, it was noth- wait, boss?”

But Roman had already turned to face Janus. “C’mon, we need to leave ASAP. I had to postpone 3 different meetings to find you, and we can’t launch the new HYDRA TECH product until you officially give the go-ahead.” He looked around at everyone’s faces and suddenly realized that there was something he didn’t know. “...You have 10 minutes before the helicopter takes off.” He quickly left to give them privacy, the shutting of the door the only sound for a while.

“...So,” Patton chuckled nervously, looking away, “you have a helicopter.”

Janus blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah… I inherited quite a few companies from my parents.”

“Oh.” Patton frowned. “...Were you ever gonna tell me?”

“Eventually.” Remus piped up. “It’s kindof dangerous, having so much money and so little protection. You can’t say things like that to just anyone, y’know.”

“Right, of course.” Patton didn’t really sound like he agreed though. He suddenly smiled, a smile that by this point Janus and Remus knew was fake. “Well, I guess it’s time to say bye.”

Janus frowned, stepping forward. “Patton-”

Patton held his hand up. “Nope, you heard him. You have important business stuff to go do. No reason to stay here any more than you already have.”

Janus looked hopelessly between Remus and Patton before sighing defeatedly. “Alright. Goodbye Patton.” And he left without another word.

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After a whole week of being away from Patton, Janus was just about ready to throw everything away and run back to him.

The only things stopping him were his company, and the fact that he was pretty sure Patton didn’t like him back. Or Remus, who seemed to have taken it even harder than Janus had. He’d spent the entire week curled up in their room, staring off into space or sleeping. Janus had completely dove back into work, hoping that by the time he was done all of his feelings would be gone.

Roman was the one who put an end to it, slapping a manila folder onto the desk.

“Here’s all the information I could find on the guy you were staying with. Patton Heart, age 36. Has partial custody over his biological son Virgil Heart, and full custody over his adopted son Logan Heart. Worked as a vet for several years before retiring shortly after his parents died 3 years ago. Owns that cabin and stays there year-round. No living family other than the kids. Virgil is homeschooled while Logan goes to Sanders Academy for the Gifted.”

Janus was surprised by the last part. “Logan goes to Sanders Academy?” Janus’ family had been huge donators towards the academy and Janus had joined in shortly after they died, even becoming good friends with the headmaster.

Roman nodded before realizing what was going on. “Oh, no you’re not. I see that look in your eyes. You’re plotting something.”

Janus sputtered. “I’m not plotting!”

Roman snorted. “Dude, that’s your plotting face.” He suddenly grew serious. “Just don’t do anything that’ll hurt my brother, got it? Goodness knows he’s already hurt enough.” And with that he left, leaving Janus to plot.

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Logan Heart was a very good student. He always showed his work, he aced every test, and he never, ever, cheated.

So, when Logan’s counselor arrived to tell him that Headmaster Sanders himself wanted to speak with him, without any warning as to what this conversation would be about, Logan grew to be very, very nervous.

He walked into the Headmaster’s office considering every option under the sun as to why he would be summoned in the middle of the day during winter break. He did not expect to find said Headmaster quietly chatting with the school’s main benefactor, Mr. Hydra.

Headmaster Sanders looked surprised, as if he didn’t expect Logan’s presence (or perhaps he just didn’t expect him to arrive so quickly). “Ah, Mr. Heart, how delightful for you to join us.” He suddenly got up, holding his hand out for Mr. Hydra to take. “I’ll leave you two some privacy. It was a pleasure to see you again, Janus.”

Mr. Hydra smiled, shaking his hand. “The pleasure was mine, Thomas. Tell the mister Remus and I said hello.”

The Headmaster chuckled. “I’ll make sure I will. Yell if you need anything!”

When the Headmaster left Mr. Hydra gestured to the seat next to him. Logan sat down stiffly, not entirely sure of what was going on. “Mr. Hydra-”

“Please, Mr. Hydra was my father.” The man interrupted, waiving his gloved hand. “Call me Janus.”

“...Janus,” Logan ammended, trying to not squirm as he kept eye contact. “I’m not quite sure why I’m here. Could you please explain that to me?”

Janus chuckled. “You’re so smart and polite, just as he said you were.”

Logan felt his lips twitch into a frown. “Just as who said I was?” It was highly unlikely that he was referring to the Headmaster, or any of the counselors. So that only left…

Janus shifted, suddenly looking… uncomfortable? Embarrassed? Logan always struggled with reading facial expressions. “Patton did. He’s actually what I came to talk to you about.”

Millions of scenarios began flying through Logan’s head at once. “What happened to my father?”

Janus waved his hands frantically. “No no no, nothing’s happened to him, I promise!” When Logan finally calmed down, he continued. “My boyfriend and I met your father around 3 weeks ago. We had crashed our car in a snowstorm, and your father rescued us and nursed us back to health. We stayed with him for nearly 2 weeks before leaving.”

Logan nodded. “You needing to tell me this implies that there’s more to this story.”

Janus blushed and looked away. “Yes, well, you see-” He huffed, crossing his arms. “This sounded like a much better idea in my head.” He turned back to face Logan. “My partner and I both developed romantic feelings for your father over the course of those 2 weeks, but we were forced to leave before we could tell him or learn if our feelings were reciprocated.”

Logan nodded in understanding. “You want me to ask Patton if he harbors any feelings towards you or…”

“Remus. And yes, I would be most grateful if you did so.”

Logan sighed, moving his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You do realize that it will be near impossible to do this, right? My father has an extremely difficult time with admitting what he wants. I hope you also know that my father wouldn’t want to enter a relationship that quickly. Contrary to what he might say, he is still rather heartbroken from Virgil’s mother leaving him.”

Janus nodded. “Of course, but I need you to pull every trick in the book. Guilt tripping, ‘innocent’ questioning, doe eyes, whatever you have to do. Surely you must know what makes your father cave by now. And we can take it as slow as needed, I just need to know before we accidentally break our own hearts, or his.”

Logan stared before sighing. “Alright. Do you have a number I can give him?” Janus scribbled off a number and handed it to him. “Thank you. This will most likely take a few weeks, so don’t get upset if he doesn’t immediately call. If I’m confident that he does not harbor any romantic feelings for you, I will call you at the earliest convenience.”

Janus nodded. “Thank you.” He went to get up, but Logan grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him down to face Logan.

“Oh and one last thing. If you do anything to harm my father, physically, emotionally, you name it, my brother and I will find a way to make your life a living hell. Got it?” Janus nodded, not even showing a hint of shock or fear. “Good.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took two weeks for Janus to get a phone call.

It was the most miserable two weeks of Janus’ life. He hadn’t told Remus of his interaction with Logan, not wanting to get his hopes up. So, he spent two weeks glued to his cellphone, desperately hoping for and dreading the inevitable phone call.

He had been in bed when it came. He shot up and answered the unknown number, putting the call on speakerphone and ignoring Remus’ questioning look. “Hello?”

“...Janus?” Remus jumped at the voice but Janus put a hand up to silence him.

“Hello, Patton. I see Logan sent you my number?” Remus gave him a questioning look and Janus just mouthed ‘later.’

“Yeah, he gave it to me a few days ago.” The line went silent for a second. “Is Remus there?”

“I’m here.” Remus croaked out, apparently still awestruck by the thought that Patton was calling them. “What do you need, Pattycake?”

There was a giggle, and Janus felt his shoulders untense from the sound alone. “Well, the storm’s finally let up, and Logan wants me to come visit him at his school. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to meet up for lunch. Not on a date or anything! I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, but-”

“Patton.” Janus interrupted, and the line went silent. “We would love to have lunch with you. Would you like to invite Logan, and maybe Virgil?”

“...Yeah, that sounds really nice.” There was more silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was calm, peaceful, relieved. “How about next Tuesday at 2pm? We can meet up at Logan’s school and choose where to go then.”

“Sounds amazing Pattycake!” Remus called out, a new light shining in his eyes. “We’ll see you then.”

“Alright, bye!”

“Goodbye!” They both called out as Patton hung up. Remus turned to Janus, a large smile on his face as he kissed him. And Janus had just as big of a smile as they kissed. They kissed for hope, for new beginnings, and a chance for love.

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst @whatishappeningrightnow @idont-freaking-know @cute-and-angsty-princess @artsy-enby09 @girl-who-reads @larrymalecsolangelo

#sanders sides fic #pajamus #janus sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders

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crackinwise · 3 years ago

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You're gonna get a lot of advice online about how NOT to write, presented in a really condescending way by people tooting their own horn about why their experience means you should totally listen to them.

You shouldn't care much. Honestly here--unless you want to learn it for yourself (you should, but from people who don't talk down at you) and/or write for a living--write for fun however you feel comfortable. As long as it's completely coherent to the reader, go nuts!

I've been writing stories for decades, for school and for myself. I know how to use proper writing composition (mostly). Ya know what? The most boring crap I ever slogged thru was writing for English Honors. It wasn't FUN. Gd, even my final research essay for my med lab school was more fun than the torment of ~good~ writing in Honors classes. It leeched joy. So I structure things however the hell I want. I like to write like someone telling a story to the reader how they'd speak, and I in turn really enjoy reading the same. Especially if it's just fanfic, like, damn.

The cheat of fanfic is the reader should already know these characters and world, so you can skip every introduction and explanation; and lay descriptions like landmines! You can throw names and places out of nowhere and not worry about setting them up. This isn't formal writing or your novel for sale.

You like the word 'said'? Use it! You hate it? Never ever use it again! (You're not mentally a child for refusing to use it all the time--stop that comparison.) Has there been a callout post on some writing device you like being "cringey"? Whoopsy-tiddies: you can flip them off and keep doing it if you so choose.

The latest post I saw was about "epithets" but either I learned wrong or they're using a broad-ass term for it. I had been calling them adjectives or just descriptors. I was taught epithets are usually descriptive nicknames repeatedly attached to someone/thing to give you a better picture of them. Calling the phrase "the taller man," with no name attached or repeated importance, an epithet and it being called useless made my brain glitch a minute. Technically it's right, and it shouldn't be used over and over, or bog down your sentences when you can just restructure, but you CAN use things like that. Published authors have used things like that wtf. Have I also used them when I could've just changed a sentence or paragraph around? Yeah, but 1) the sentence had a flow or alliteration I was deadset on, 2) I wanted to remind the reader what profession/hobby the char had, or 3) I'm having fun. Sue me.

"If I see this in a fic I back out of it." Ohhh noooo. Do you know how many stupid arbitrary things will get people to hit the back button?? People are fickle. You can't account for it all! I'm guilty of it, and you're guilty too! I don't enjoy second-person pov -> the writer did -> I moved on -> no crisis occurred.

Did you like what you wrote and how you wrote it? Good! If anyone gives you tips or constructive criticism: take it, learn. If they only chastise you because they personally didn't like your technique: f*** em.

You don't want something you do for fun to become a grind, is my point. You don't need to be afraid a snob is poo-pooing your choices when you just wanted to share joy. Ya know what I care about in your fics? Personality. Characterization consistency. Interesting situations. Emotions. Funny or different narration. Continued updates on what positions the chars are in when needed. If you give me any one of those, you're doing great!

tl;dr: In writing, learn everything you can, practice and grow. But in the end it's about you having fun and you shouldn't let rude criticism posts or articles make you second-guess or dislike your work. (And if you make a career of it, there are editors & self-publish options. Your preferences aren't deal-breakers.)

#writing #fanfiction #criticism #i read these things and make a rude pumping gesture with my arm #long post is long

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trashystar420 · 5 years ago

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Chapter 8 Maribat babysitter AU

“Hey did you boys enjoy the food?” The cook asked the Wayne brothers. They all responded with a yes or a nod.

“Alright, lets rest up a bit, Alfred will be here with the limo in a bit. How about we play a game in the meantime to pass the time?” She offered. Tim shrugs, but Jason looked excited. Even Dick looked ready.

“I’m gonna beat yo butt Pixie Bob! Just you wait!!!” It was a promise, and one Marinette was keen to break.

“Oh we will see Mon Cherrie. We will see.” And boops the young one’s noise in a playful manner. She dodged the slapping hand of Jason’s. Reflexes of a bug after all.

“So what’s the game Marinette?” Dick asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“Charades .” Jason made a face.

“Meh, no offense pixie bob but that doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun.” Dick didn’t want to be mean to Mari but he also agreed with the older brother. Marinette was close to giving up, but then an idea came in mind.

“How about I show you instead.” Dick, Jason, and now Tim all give their undivided attention to her.

She takes a deep breathe, and then covers her face. The boys wait with baited breathe, wondering what on earth she would possibly do.

And she gave a very mock/scary glare. Her nostrils flare up to exaggerate on the anger, but the boys all knew it was fake. And she coughs, before she could speak.

“Grayson! Todd when I get my hands on you two!!!” Tim was laughing, Jason in a wheezing fit, while Dick giggled, pointing at Marinette while she performs a crab walk with ‘Damien’s’ face.

“Drake you need to lay off the coffee!!!”

“Never!” Retorted Tim. More laughter ensued.

“I-I can’t breathe.” Jason tried and failed to make another sentence and just kept laughing. Tim wasn’t fairing any better. Dick managed to calm down, and raised his hand, wanting to go next. Marinette scoots over your Dicks spot while the boy stood, thinking up an act. An imaginary lightbulb ‘dings’ as he makes that eurika pose.

“Got it!” And turns around to prepare himself.

Dick has his hands crossed behind his back, his chest puffed out, and his eyes closed. He proceeds to move his right hand over to his ‘mustache’ and makes stroking motions with it.

In a dying old man’s voice, he says, “ma-ha-ster Bruce, would care for a cup of teaaa?” Marinette giggles, she couldn’t help herself. Him being funny was just too cute. Tim was still bawling, while Jason laughed, although not as much.

“I wanna go next!” Jason went to the picnic basket and picked up too apples.

“Yes” he mutters to himself, getting himself ready, Dick already in Mari’s lap. Tim wipes a tear from his eye.

“Is everyone ready?” Jason asked. Everyone answered yes.

He turns around. The apples he used, are under his shirt, resembling large breasts. Dick already started to giggle, knowing this was going to be good.

In as much ladylike in his voice, Jason starts with, “oh good dearie Alfred!!! Why Does BRUCIE DEAR NoT CaLL. Doesn’t he know I must show off all my JEwelry to him?!? Hmmm Alfred you don’t understand, he’s a literal brick wall!!! GoSH he’s lucky he’s good in bed otherwise I’d leave his sorry ass behind. OH ALfreD, you always did listen to what I had to say. Hey Dearie, why don’t you be my owN PErsonal ButLer?!?” Dick was dying, Marinette was bawling, and Tim wanted to get in on the action, so he did.

“Ahem, b-But Mistress Selina, I shall not forsaken the one I was meant to serve. ForGive me, ‘tis I was the one who raised him. It appears I have failed to teach Master Bruce the, propèr etquite in the dealings of a woman such as yourself.” Tim finished in the funniest old man voice you can imagine.

“Oh AlfRed lets elope, forget that old Bat, yOur the real gentlemen!” Jason shouted in his feminine voice, rushing to Tim, putting both his hands on his chest as thou he wanted to embrace him.

“B-B-but Mistress!” Tim acted scandalized in his fake old man impersonation.

“But nothing Alfred. I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT MY JEWELRY AND BOOBIES!” Jason and Tim couldn’t hold it in any longer, for they proceeded to burst into laughter. Marinette and Dick were wheezing and pathetically trying to reclaim the air they lost to the laughter.

It took a good five minutes for the four to calm down, but eventually did.

“*cough* *cough* alright, well I’ll be beat, Jason, Tim that was the best yet.”

“Ya I liked it to Jason!!! And Tim you have a better Alfred expression then me!!!l

“Dawww well, when you have Alfred persisting you on what you can and can’t drink you tend to learn a few things.” He shrugs it off. Eventually Alfred pulled in with the limo.

“Young masters, are you enjoying yourselves?” Jason had a growing smirk, while Dick covered his cute mouth to hide his giggles. Tim just laughed at the family butler.

“Y-you could say that Alfred.” Marinette implies. The butler raises a brow, but leaves the conversation at that. More uncontrolled chucking ensues.

“Alright boys-“ and then the babysitter giggled at the sight of a wheezing Jason. Dick and Tim managed to relax from the laughter.

“D-Did you see the way his eyebrow moved with his mustache?” Marinette gasped. Dick and Tim lost it.

“Oh Mistress!” Tim yelled in his fake Alfred impression.

“Oh Alfred Dear!” Jason responded, putting one hand over his heart, the other over his head. More giggling ensued.

Eventually, the gang arrived at their destination. It was still half past four. Around two hours they can have fun at the amusement park before Marinette has to get the boys home. Curfew curtsey of one Bruce Wayne after all.

“Be safe young masters, Marinette. And if you need anything else, I will be here.”

“Of course Alfred.” The gang say their goodbyes, but Alfred stops them from taking another step. With a smug smile, he states that he has a much better impression of himself then whatever nonsense Tim made up. The boys and Marinette blush, embarrassed to be caught, but Alfred was impressed nonetheless.

“How did he find out?” Jason asked.

“It’s Alfred, Jason. He always knows.” Tim answered, speaking the truth and nothing but the truth.

“Well at least he liked it.” Marinette said, hoping to damper it down. Dick smiled.

“I wanna go on that!!!” Dick yelled, pointing at a rollercoaster that looked too dangerous. Jason and Tim also grinned. Marinette looked ready to pass out. Granted she has/ been Ladybug, and KNOWS how it feels to have her body thrown around like a sad rag doll. But it was in an indestructible suit made of magic. And she had a magic yo-yo. The guardian in hiding is in civilian casual clothing not meant for danger. What if something bad happened? Or if they get stuck? Or

“Marinette?” Dick’s concerning voice interrupted Marinete’s mental breakdown. Shaking her head to snap out of whatever stupor she got herself into, did a 180 and gave a smile, although one laced with nervousness.

“Yes?”

“Your afraid aren’t you?” Jason answered knowingly.

“I what me- pft afraid! Of that... thing.... of death...” she visibly gulped. Tim snickered at Marinettes suffering. Dick, being the innocent bean that he his, takes both her hands in his, and calms her down.

“It’ll be fine Marinette. I’ll hold your hand the whole time.” Dick offered. Jason was snickering, and so was Tim.

“Dickie poo, she doesn’t want to go on that ride.” Tim reasoned. Dick faltered. Marinette took a calming breathe. ‘For my Mon Cherrie!’ She told herself.

“I’ll take you up on that offer Dick.” Marinette said, surprising Tim and Jason. Instead of her nervous face, was instead one that held resolve. Dick is ecstatic, holding her hand the whole way, almost dragging her. Tim and Jason were behind them.

Luckily, there wasn’t a long line, despite it being a holiday. Eventually, Dick and Marinette sat in the back of the ride, while Tim and Jason sat in front of them. The duo mainly wanted to see how Marinette would deal with the ride. Tim holding his phone out, to get a photo or video of Marinette’s reaction.

“Alrightie passengers, make sure to keep your hands and feet, WITHIN the cart. Please. We are NOT liable for any lost possessions in the ride ok, and please, don’t be idiots.” The female roller coaster worker said with a tired voice. She glared at Jason when she said that. Jason just gave her a middle finger and stuck out his tongue.

“JASON!” Marinette berates. The boy flinches, but crosses his arms and looks the other way, like the little brat he is.

“I’m so sorry about him!” Marinette started, but the worker just sighed and pulled the lever activating the ride. Cutting off Marinette from the conversation.

The ride made a jolt at being activated, startling the poor French-Asian woman. Dick just held her hand tighter to reassure her, and it worked. Tim filming everything from a secret camera placed on his back without the knowledge of anyone else.

“Hey Pixie Bob, make sure to raise your hands up when the ride goes down.” The troublesome boy instructs.

“Didn’t she just say NoT to leave arms and legs OUT of the ride?”

“Relax, it’s still within the boundary.”

“Jason Todd you better not otherwise I-“ Marinette failed to notice that the ride was already at the peak of the mountain before it would plummet ride down. She screamed, tears flying out of her eyes from the wind. Everyone was screaming. Jason and Tim both had their hands up. Dick gave a comforting squeeze in Marinette’s hands, which grounded her.

And she lets herself calm down. She doesn’t think of anything. And slowly a smile creeps on her face. Surprising Dick she raising her and his hand up, shouting ‘wooos’ and ‘yeaaaaaas’.

“I TOLD YOU IT BEE FUN!!!” Dick yelled from all the wind rushing into their ears. Marinette nodded, but the young boy didn’t see. Every twist and turn made the Bluenette giggles and laugh and shout and scream. And then came the loop.

“OH KWAMI!!!” Jason was laughing like a maniac, his hands out the whole time.

The ride finally ends. It may have been five minutes, but to Marinette, it felt so much slower.

“So how was it?” Dick asked. She ignored how messed up his hair turned, and combed it up with her dainty hands.

“That was incredible!!!” And she really meant it too.

“Ha, Tim did you get all that on film?” Jason asked. Tim gives him a withering glare.

“What does he mean Tim?” She asked eerily calm. Tim eventually shows her the film he took on his phone.

“Are you telling me, you had your phone on the WHOLE time?” Marinette asked, crossing her arms. Ah gave an unimpressed look to the teen before her. Tim shrunk in on himself.

“N-No I uh had this!” He showed her the small device, and he mentally wanted to slap himself. This is tech he’d use as Red Robin!!!!!! And he showed it to an innocent civilian, in his civilian self.

Dick and Jason waited with baited breathe. Their faces remained neutral, but on the inside were panicking as well.

It was at this moment The eldest Wayne entered.

“What did you do now Jason?”

AND SCENE!!! That was chapter... 8!!! Wow can’t believe I made it this far. I hope ya all have a happy holiday!!! Like comment reblog yada yada

#damien x marinette #maribat #damienette #older damian wayne #younger dick grayson #younger jason todd #alfred pennyworth #miraculous ladybug #batman #batfam #rollarcoaster #fanfic #bruce x selina

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zhilan · 4 years ago

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Do you think the sisters actually really don’t like Abigael ? I’ve rewatched season 2 recently and I’ve seen a couple of post about it, but it always seemed to me like there is this agreement between them. Enough trust to know they can actually count on each other. One proof is how ultimately, the sisters were fine with Abigael knowing where they lived, where they worked. It was never an actual worry for them, that she would go after them. And same on Abi’s part. She was never really worried they would go after her. Try to defeat her.

They obviously don’t love each other but it seems clear to me there is a lot of place to grow because they don’t really consider each other a threat.

putting this under a cut because this is insanely long lmao

i think it’s a fragile line of trust, but there is trust between them. i don’t think it’s heavily reliant on whether or not they like abigael though. and i think they like/dislike abigael to varying degrees because the sisters all have different relationships with abi.

i think macy doesn’t like abigael at all, given their history it’s not at all surprising. the rift between them is personal, especially to macy, and we know from her nightmare that abigael pulls at her insecurities as well so that doesn’t help.

i think mel’s warming up to abi, but still cautious. she’s seen her vulnerable side, and abigael’s ultimately always had her back so far, so while she’s hesitant to be chummy, she knows there’s more to abi than meets the eye.

and then maggie. i honestly don’t think they’ve personally interacted enough, so i feel like maggie’s dislike for abigael is more a general dislike, she tried to kill macy, she likes to be a nuisance and calls her stupid nicknames. i kind of feel like maggie thinks of abigael as annoying more than anything, but that’s just me.

ultimately though, whether they like her or not, when you lay out the facts, you can’t really deny that since 2x03 abigael’s never actually tried to actively harm them. even when she tried to kill macy, it wasn’t because abigael had it out for them — the only reason she went after the charmed ones was because, if you remember, there was something attacking demons, the same something that attacked her as well. and in their world, witches and demons are the enemies, so it was a logical assumption to make that witches were the ones coming after them. it was a retaliation, sort of like — if you’re hunting us down then we’re not gonna sit here and take it. we’re striking back. (hence, the witches in vermont, and hence the attempt at macy) except. she miscalculated, as she admitted in 2x04, and within the episode they learn that this war isn’t between witches and demons. someone else is after all of them (we later find out that it’s the faction).

therefore, the charmed ones were never an actual target for abigael. they became a target by mistake. and while i’m not saying this is justified, and this obviously doesn’t make her innocent, this also means abigael was never after them. she was after the ones who hurt her people and that’s the faction. and as soon as abigael knew this, she stopped being an active threat to them. she may be asshole, but she’s not an asshole who’s after them. and i think the charmed ones, as much as they dislike abigael, know this.

and sure, abigael likes to annoy them. she can be self-serving, double-dealing, manipulative and a pain in the ass. but these qualities don’t necessarily make her a threat to the charmed ones. it certainly doesn’t make her an enemy. abigael has done some shady af things, but her schemes never involve putting the charmed ones in harm’s way. she helped harry find macy using the demon mind meld, she warned mel not to step into a trap, she made sure maggie wasn’t cut with the ceremonial knife, she didn’t leave mel behind when they were imprisoned, didn’t leave mel in her apartment overrun by demons either, and she wouldn’t allow the demon world to go after the charmed ones despite her own head being on the line. i’m not saying it makes her some kind of hero, but it stands that it’s clear she’s not trying to cause them harm, and she actually kind of has their backs. and i think the charmed ones recognize that. hell, if they thought abi was so evil, why would they save her in 2x16 when godric was about to kill her and mel, when they could’ve just saved mel and left abi for dead?

so i think despite not liking abigael, they know they can trust her. actions speak louder than words, after all, and despite all the nonsense that comes out of abi’s mouth, she’s only ever shown that she isn’t their enemy. i mean this is the same girl who’s like, i’m gonna kill parky poo! and yet she goes out of her way to fake kill parker but keep him alive… she literally would’ve just killed him if she’s legit evil, yk. i think the charmed ones recognize as much.

so yeah. i think the relationship feels more antagonistic than it actually is, probably because the writers like to throw the word evil around abigael, but when you look closely it isn’t, really. their relationship has made huge progress from where it was when they first met. in 3x06 when they were about to use the power of three, when mel recognizes her and says “abi?” the energy between her hands immediately dissipate, as did macy and maggie’s. as soon as they recognized abby, the sense of threat disappeared. i think that’s a pretty good illustration of where they are now in terms of trust with abigael.

#inbox #anonymous #charmed 2018 #abigael caine #macy vaughn #mel vera #maggie vera

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gayenerd · 4 years ago

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Green Day Deals with the "Rock Star" Dookie

by Tom Lanham

(First appeared in BAM Magazine, March 10, 1995)

Young, loud, and snotty equals beaucoup bucks? What pencil-pushing, graph-charting trend spotter could've predicted it? But the facts speak for themselves: As of late February, Dookie--the brattish, snap 'n' snarl Reprise salvo from Berkeley's sloppy punk trio, Green Day--has sold six million copies. Six million. Chances are, somebody on your block is jumping up and down in his living room at this very moment to the scrap-metal power chords and ardent apathy of "Longview," "Burnout," "Basket Case," or "When I Come Around" and getting lost in the teen abandon of these testy 22-year-olds--weasel-voiced, Montgomery-Clift-like charismatic singer/guitarist Billie Joe; tom-tom tribal percussionist Tre Cool (of the ever-morphing hair-color fame); and bassist Mike Dirnt (who survived Green Day's appearance at Woodstock '94, although several of his teeth did not).

Yes, punk rock is a marketable phenomenon these days, leaving many involved with the music's initial late-'70s, early-'80s wave scratching their heads, wondering why it didn't take the first time around. Public reaction started as curiosity ("Hey, honey, c'mere and lookit these goofy, green-haired little whippersnappers in an insane asylum on MTV!"), but spiraled up to rock-diet necessity (Green Day just won Grammy and they're nominated for quite a few Bammies as well, including such categories as Outstanding Group, Outstanding Album, and Outstanding Song--"Longview" and "Basket Case"). The fact that they've been nominated at all probably sends a shiver up the old dinosaur backbones of Eddie Money, Huey Lewis, and Boz Scaggs, a time-creepy feeling of "Gee, what the hell do we do now?" Because this isn't just some flash-in-the-pan punk movement, folks--this is a youth movement; Green Day are, as they hiply term it, "bored in the 'burbs," and reaching out, through TV and radio, like some prodigal preachers to other American kids who sense the same slacker ennui. Obviously, we're talking truckloads of kids.

Ironically, the more fame edges into the Green Day ruffians' lives, the more mature they seem to become. They've turned down all interview requests as of late, even People magazine, preferring to lay low until this tide of interest recedes. Billie Joe got married last autumn, and spent his honeymoon--not in any exotic, expensive locale--but in Berkeley's grand old Claremont Hotel. Cool recently became a father, and Billie Joe's child is due any day now. It's a responsibility they've both eagerly undertaken. Rob Cavallo, the boys' coproducer and A&R man at Reprise, swears they're "old souls, the smartest young kids I've ever met." It rings true.

The first time I spoke with Green Day, in January of '94, Cool, Dirnt, and Billie Joe were lazing around their dingy basement apartment in Berkeley, sitting on chairs and couches with potentially painful springs poking through. Rock 'n' roll bubblegum cards were scattered across a coffee table, along with several bongs of various sizes, plus a four-and-a-half foot red plastic pipe dubbed "Bongzilla" leaned against a doorway. The only wall decoration, besides a Ren & Stimpy poster, was a Twister game mat nailed up in its entirety, presumably for high-schoolish humor's sake.

When I'd met Billie Joe a few months earlier at a campus concert, his hair was dyed lime-green and featured squidlike tufts. Now it was dark brown, with only two tufts remaining, and both his ears and nose had piercings. Periodically during the interview, he'd ram a finger into that pierced nostril, rummage around, then stare idly at the resultant booger before flicking it on to the carpet. Cool wandered out of the rec room for several minutes, but returned, red-eyed, to proudly proclaim, "Lookit me! I'm stoned, dude!" Dirnt--when he wasn't strumming an acoustic guitar--kept watching their windowsill Sea Monkey tank, finally noting, "Hey, these Sea Monkeys look just like sperm!"

Despite all these schoolboy, poo-poo wit trappings (dookie, after all, is kiddie slang for excrement), there was a sense of seasoned wisdom about them, a feeling that they were, as Cavallo postulated, truly old souls. Like the class clown who frustrates all of his teachers by also maintaining a 4.0 grade average, Green Day can afford to play because their work--brilliantly skewed three-minute pop songs, delivered with such vehemence and vitriol you don't dare doubt them--certainly speaks for itself. But, sooner or later, of course, the band has to speak for itself, too, so what follows is a set of excerpts from that first ratty-digs meeting, as well as a later chat with Billie Joe, sans sidekicks. How did Green Day take over the rock world in less than a year? That's the six-million-copy question, and hopefully we'll provide a few answers.

* * *

So punk is back, whether America likes it or not?

BILLIE JOE: It's always been around, and everyone has their own interpretation of it. It's weird to actually call it "punk" again, when it's been there all the time.

MIKE DIRNT: It's been springing up in little suburban areas, where people grab it and express themselves.

TRE COOL: It's people who make a point of setting aside all responsibilities and just playing music. And doing fat joint after fat joint--you have to let go of things like paying rent, going to school, having a job.

BJ: And, if you can't tell by my house, we don't have a very high standard of living.

How does today's punk rock differ from its late-'70s cousin?

BJ: I think it was all about art and fashion back then, really, because everyone who was a punk in England was in art school. I read an early interview with Dee Dee Ramone, where he said he wished the Ramones had more of a glamorous appeal, too, instead of playing in jeans and leather jackets. But it was definitely about fashion, until the Clash really brought out the political side. Our music came from being bored in the 'burbs. You get put in this high school situation, where you're learning someone else's rules in a room with 30 other people that you don't really like. There's nothing interesting about it whatsoever, so you pick up a guitar instead.

But you all tried college, at least for awhile, right?

MD: And then we started touring. Constantly.

TC: So most of our reading now comes from highway signs.

MD: It's the old grasshopper and the ant story. The thought of actually working is just so...

TC: Sickening!

MD: Yeah. So we put everything we had into not working. This is what I do best, and I was always told, "If you're gonna do something, do it the best you can." So why not do the best thing you can, too?

You guys--at least Mike and Billie Joe--have known each other since you were 10?

BJ: And the first conversation we ever had was about writing songs. And then we just started playing music.

A lot of the stuff on your early Lookout! records shows what was on your mind at the time--namely, girls.

BJ: That was pretty much the viewpoint of a 16-year-old kid. I don't write stuff like that anymore. The new songs are more about coming of age and being apathetic and neurotic.

Where were your parents when you were touring [at age 16]?

MD: At work, doing their own thing.

BJ: My mom's worked a waitress job for like the past 40 years or something, and whatever I was doing was OK with her.

MD: I moved out when I was 15, and I worked all the way through high school.

BJ: And me, I've never held a job longer than two weeks. I tried to flip pizzas--it didn't work. I tried cleaning toilets in the Red Onion in El Sobrante. Me and TrŽ, we used to work for the SF Chronicle, selling papers. I sold three the first day, and the next day we just smoked pot, and we smoked pot the next day after that. So we had hella extra papers lying around. Our ultimate goal wasn't to get rich or famous or anything like that. It was to not have a regular job and not be miserable.

MD: And I've lived in every city around here, except for Albany. Literally. And one thing we want to establish about ourselves is that we're just a bunch of geeks from the suburbs.

Well, one of the first times I saw you, you guys were closing your set with Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger." That's pretty geeky.

MD: I grew up on radio--that's all I had. When I was a little kid, I couldn't afford records. I'll tell you, I've been down to a dollar in my pocket a lot of times. I've even lived in my truck. I can remember shooting rats with a BB gun in the flat we used to live in, before they'd make it to our food.

BJ: I've always been really good about saving. If I got some money, I'd put it away instead of spending it, and I'd buy ramen.

Why name your disc Dookie?

TC: Warner's said we could do anything we want, as long as we didn't say "Cop Killer."

BJ: Somebody told our manager that the ad for it was the most tasteless thing they'd ever seen in Billboard magazine.

What exactly do you mean on Dookie by "Welcome to Paradise"?

BJ, MD, TC [in unison]: West Oakland!

MD: Living in West Oakland, and going out to parties every night.

So it cost, what, around $100,000 to make Dookie?

MD: Yeah. We kept the advances low, because you gotta pay all that shit back. Everyone knows you can't become an instant millionaire just by signing, because there are so many people that want a piece of you.

BJ: We hang out with mostly punks though, and they don't want anything we have. They could care less. And a lot of our friends don't even agree with us being on a major label.

Is Green Day angry?

BJ: No, I'm not angry, like, walking around all the time with a frown on my face. But the way my music is interpreted is very angry.

MD: When you feel really strongly about something, you want to let it out in the most powerful way possible.

Like the way you baited your old high school principal from the Warfield stage recently?

MD: I think he was an asshole. He treated me with no respect. And for high school initiation, we got our heads shaved--that's the kind of small-town shit we had to deal with! Sometimes they made you push a penny up the street with your nose. But that's life, and anywhere you go, you're gonna hate a lot of shit in your life. You'll be handed

Dookie?

MD: Yeah. Yeah, you'll be handed dookie through all parts of your life. And see, what you need to do is just deal with the dookie, build upon what you have, and make something out of the dookie, you know? Like an adobe dookie building!

* * *

Several months later, and Dookie is oozing its gooey way into the public consciousness big time. The fading summer heat sticks crackling to the Berkeley sidewalks as punks--many sporting monstrous green or fuchsia mohawks--zing by on skateboards by day, and huddle in Telegraph Avenue doorways by night, conserving feral body heat the whole time. It feels like another world here, a throwback to the Bay Area's DIY/hardcore scene of the early '80s, when squatters reigned supreme and burlesque Broadway--fueled by all-ages shows at the Mabuhay Gardens, On Broadway, and even an occasional GBH or UK Subs booking at the Stone--made weekend conversions to "Punk Playground, USA." It was the best of times; it was the worst of times--despite relentless touring, most of these bands sold bupkus in the way of records, and few, save Metallica, ever held pen in shaky hand over a major-label contract.

Billie Joe saunters into the Berkeley coffeehouse in rumpled jeans and a grease-spattered flannel shirt; his once-green-and-tufty tresses have grown out into Wally Cleaver waves and been dyed a Rod Stewarty blond. He looks like one of those feisty punks of yore; like he could hold his own through sheer physical endurance in the wildest of thrash pits. There's a new authority about him, the way he strides confidently to the counter, orders a pint-size glass of coffee, then swims through a sea of late-lunching yuppies to grab a table. The singer doesn't seem to notice them at all. Or maybe he's just too tired from nonstop touring to really give a shit. He smiles a goofy grin, revealing a set of generally crooked or chipped choppers, with an entire half of one front tooth missing. But there's such charisma behind it, the same kind of "Who, me?" innocence that little kids use. Billie Joe, you might say, has quickly become the Bart Simpson of the alternative set.

How else could you explain his uncensored performance at a certain outdoor arena where--in a hyperspeed set lasting only 30 minutes before management threatened to pull the plug--he a) unzipped his fly and paraded his privates around for all to see; b) handed a stunned fan his beat-up, sticker-plastered guitar and urged him to play it; c) destroyed a $600 microphone by smashing it into the stage, then destroyed a second mike he was handed as well; and d) encouraged half the venue to chant, "Rock 'n' roll!" and the other half to respond with, "Shut the fuck up!" He then closed the show with a proposition--"They'll be really angry with us, but what we could do is rip out the seats!" he told the audience, which promptly gave Green Day a standing ovation. Billie Joe not only shrugs off such shenanigans as artistic license, he gets away with them! He's even encouraged to continue by fans who empathize with his uppity "fuck authority" attitude.

But the facts were all on the table as Billie Joe sipped his house blend that afternoon, and it didn't take a fortune teller to read 'em. Green Day was hitting big time. Fast. And the sheer enormity of the undertaking, the weight of all its accordant responsibility, was just beginning to hit him. He looked older, wiser, and spoke in more grownup tones about his future, which then included a pending marriage to longtime girlfriend Adrienne. You could practically feel this new maturity encircling him like some protective aura.

* * *

=Where do all these punks on Telegraph come from? They can't all be local and homeless.

I think Telegraph has just become this cultural mecca for punk rockers, because most of 'em who are on the Avenue aren't even from here. They're from Arizona, Minneapolis, New York, Florida. They just come out and end up squatting in houses in Berkeley. Why here? It's the climate, and the scene itself--Gilman Street and Maximum Rock 'n' Roll are in this area, and have a link to each other. But at the same time, it's separated, because there are so many different factions of punk now. There are the squatters, the pop-cores, the mods, the crusties. And all these types of people come out just to check it out. Plus, there's the best coffee in Berkeley, and a lot of 'em are real super coffee-drinkers, just pounding cup after cup all the time. It's pretty rare to come across a punk who doesn't drink coffee. I can't drink too much coffee myself--it gives me the shakes at night, so I just have a little bit during the day. Then I can smoke dope and go to bed.

=What's the attraction in squatting or homelessness for these kids?

For a lot of 'em, it's the first sense of freedom that they've had. It's like, "You mean I don't have to be home by midnight?" They've pretty much told their families and schools to go fuck themselves, so they go off and do their own thing. When I was 17, I did the same thing. And I had this total sense of freedom, where no one's telling you what to do, you don't have a clock to punch in on, you don't have people breathing down your neck; you don't have any deadlines to meet. You have this endless schedule where you can stay up all night drinking with your friends, or do anything you want.

=But isn't "Coming Clean" about leaving behind your wilder ways?

It's also about coming to grips with your sexuality. There's one line, "Skeletons come to life in my closet." And it's like, "Am I homosexual or heterosexual?" You go through this adolescent stage in your life where you don't really know what you are, and one side is taboo because your parents brought you up to think being gay was wrong. And if you come to grips with yourself, that you happen to be gay or bi or whatever, well, that was one thing about punk that was so accepting--all creeds were welcome, all sexualities, everything.

=Was this something you went through personally?

Yeah, to a certain extent. But I don't want to go around waving a gay flag or anything.

=Well, you had a beautiful girl on your arm backstage at the last Green Day show.

That's Adrienne. She's cool. Actually, we're engaged. That's why it took me so long getting here today--I had to get this! [Rolls sleeve up on tattooed arm, points to a bandaged-on cotton swab] Blood test, dude! We're getting married next week!

=Has anybody tried to tell you you're too young for such a serious move?

Of course. There are a lot of people who've said stuff. My parents have been a little more understanding than her parents. I just called my mom yesterday and said, "Mom, I'm gettin' married," and she said, "That's fine, son. Have fun!" I can hardly surprise my mother nowadays. But [this relationship] has been a recurring thing for the past four years, and we just decided to get serious about it. She's coming out here, and we're moving in together, so it's like, "Why not?" I don't really have any wild oats to sow, or anything like that. I'm not into the "Gettin' chicks all the time" thing.

=I know a lot of girls who'll be really bummed that you're gittin' hitched. They all seem to have developed a crush on you...

Me?! It must be the teeth [grins again].

=OK, so maybe you didn't brush often enough when you were young. But you were busy developing a direction...

I wouldn't necessarily say I had a direction or anything. I just knew I wanted to write songs. It comes from...uh...I don't know. I have no idea. It wasn't any kind of cosmic force or anything like that; it was just a matter of having a guitar around and wanting to play it all the time. I've had the same guitar since I was 11--I bought it off this guy at a guitar store. And I still play it--you know, the blue one with stickers all over it? That's my blue guitar, and, for some reason, things come to life, and everyone calls it "Blue" now--"Where's Blue? Can I pick up Blue and play it?"

=And you let just anybody touch it?

Oh yeah! Blue's not prejudiced.

=It's interesting to note that the general public seems to think Dookie is your debut.

Yeah, but that's just the general public. There are people who've been with us since the beginning, who know how long we've been around, since our first 7-inch came out back in '89.

=And now you can afford to trash pricey microphones.

Actually, Warner Brothers paid for those. It was pretty nice of 'em. They looked really nice--I remember looking at 'em and thinking, "Nice microphones!" They gave me one mike and I took it and threw it down, and they gave me another, and at the end of the set I creamed it pretty hard, I guess. We toured Europe with this band Die Toten Hosen--we played nine dates with 'em--and we got charged for a microphone every night. I dunno, for some reason we just started smashing shit. We'd start throwing equipment around at the end of each set, and these kids would start grabbing Tre's drum set and throwing it, and then they started smashing the microphones too. And the bouncers just couldn't do anything about it.

=And you actually yanked your dick out onstage too?

I did. Totally. It was the real thing. I dunno. The bands that we were playing with were just boring. It was more like making a mockery of the whole thing. The big arena rock thing is just so dated now, like Journey or Queen. Which is why I think punk rock started to begin with--it was this reaction to all the dinosaur bands. So for me, that show was, "How can we make a complete mockery of this but at the same time have fun with it?" I like to leave people guessing, "Did he hate that or did he like that?" It's not that I don't care--it's more that I'm careless. I try to be as happy-go-lucky as I can, but you can become apathetic at the same time.

=Do you feel like Green Day is a part of, or represents, the so-called "slacker generation"?

There's one side of me that doesn't mind it, because it's a generational thing, and another side of me that says, "Fuck that!" The reason I wrote the songs is, I ended up going back to Rodeo, where I'm from, for a week. And then I said, "Fuck it," and left. But I managed to get several good songs out of it. A lot of my friends had just turned into complete burnouts. And these are kids I've known since kindergarten, because it's a small town and you know everybody. And it was all fixing cars, staying up all night on methamphetamines, smoking dope, and finding out all these rumors about people I haven't heard of in 10 years. Like, "Oh, did you hear about so-and-so, who got married, had three kids, and ended up shooting everybody in his family?" And it happened! It was a true story! You're there for one week, and you get caught up in it. You get so bored, all you wanna do is watch television. And there are no record stores, nothing around, so you end up hanging out with all these delinquents who aren't punkers at all, just cultural idiots. So I was watching all these people rot and rotting with them until I realized, "Shit! I gotta get the fuck outta here!"

=As they say, you can never go home again.

Oh yeah, definitely. Unless you get pregnant, like my sister did. Then you have to go. But I quit school my senior year--I just wasn't getting anything out of it. I was taking nine periods a day, plus night classes, which left me no time to smoke dope whatsoever. And my mom even suggested I drop out, because she was a dropout, too. I come from a long line of dropouts. I still have nightmares about being late with my homework assignments. When I finally went in to sign out of high school, the teacher went, "Now, who are you again?"

=And if that teacher could see you now!

A lot of people think you get this big connection with a corporate label, and you make millions of dollars, but they don't understand that you just don't make that much money. And when you do, it's easy to piss it away. I mean, every cent that I've made, I've pissed away. I'm not gonna say how I did it, but I don't have it But I don't think you necessarily have to be a punk to decide to say, "Fuck it." You don't even have to have a direction. It's just a matter of getting the fuck out and exploring things for yourself.

=But didn't you feel abject terror when you first set out on your own?

Nah, I didn't. Because, for some reason, I knew things were gonna be all right. You can create your own future as long as karma's on your side. And I'm a strong believer in karma. I think things can come back to you if you're just willing to give.

* * *

True enough. At least six million times over!

1995 Tom Lanham

#article #interview #articles #billie joe armstrong

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marmolady · 4 years ago

Text

Growing Pains: Part Three

PART ONE PART TWO

Main Pairings: Estela x MC/Taylor (f)

Summary: Post-ending. For Liv and her mothers, Taylor and Estela, a turbulent period of transition is afoot. Set primarily in the distant future of 2033.

Word Count: 5678

More Liv fics here: Livita, Teething Problems, Milestones and Memories, Mutual Comfort, All That Matters

Reviews and reblogs are hugely appreciated!

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn, @mrsmontoya, @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, @quinnkellys-wife, @greengroove

La Huerta, 2033

The sun slowly began to set, and a cool breeze came in from the sea. The reunion was in full swing, and Taylor, had found her way poolside, the traditional centre of all activity. The energy all around her was wonderfully refreshing after all the time she’d spent hiding herself away from the world; the sounds of the most familiar of voices as her friends caught up with one another, therapeutic. She was far too much of an extrovert to isolate herself; she knew that now.

Sitting down at the bar, it only took a few skilled flourishes of bottles before Raj was handing her a signature drink.

“It’s been a little while since I’ve had one of these,” she laughed. The joys of pregnancy. Worth it, but she’d be lying if she wasn’t a little relieved it was all over in time for the reunion. “Mm, that’s fruity! And just the right amount of kick to it. I say this every year, but you really do know me.”

“Another happy customer at the BhandarBar? You know there’s nothing I’d rather hear!” Raj beamed. He came around the bar and sat beside Taylor, sensing a need in her. “I feel like we haven’t hung out in ages-- last time I saw you, you had a baby on board. How has life been treating you, Taylor, my friend?”

“Oh, you know. My whole body gearing up for looking after baby, and then trying to tell it ‘no, that’s not what’s happening, here’; that’s been a bit of a challenge. My mood swings have been epic. I know she already did deserve one, but christ, Estela deserves a medal. Liv as well. I swear I’ve been like a walking hormone or something.”

“Well, if you need someone to lay it all on….”

He didn’t even get to finish. Taylor had her arms around him, hugging him tight. Where the tears were coming from now, she didn’t quite know. Maybe it was just a release of everything she’d been carrying these past months. But come they did, thick and fast.

“That’s it, bro. Let it all out. I’ve got plenty of shirts if you get boogers on this one--”

Taylor spluttered, laughing until she made herself choke and cough. “I don’t even know why I’m crying! That’s just me right now. A little bit useless.” Well, if you talk like that, you’re gonna be sobbing all night.

“You? Never. We have witnesses! You are definitely not useless. You just need a bit of Taylor Time right now. You’re allowed to take some Taylor Time.”

“For how long?” Taylor sighed. “Liv’s only nine-- sorry, nine and three-hundred-and-sixty-four days. That distinction is important to her. But she needs me. My body’s all geared up to be a mom, but with Liv I feel like I just can’t do anything. Some days I couldn’t even get out of bed.”

“Trust me. I’ve had those days. You know I’ve had those days. And listening when your mind and body need a rest isn’t a bad thing. If Liv was feeling the way you were, what would you have her do?”

Taylor pouted. “Who told you you could use my double standards to pep talk me? Fine! I’d tell her to be kind to herself. Every time.”

“So. What are you going to do?”

“Be… kind to myself,” Taylor said begrudgingly. Damn you, Raj. I can’t argue with that logic.

“We’re going to home-school Livi. For a year, use that time to reassess where we want to be in life. I’m a little nervous, but… I like that I’m going to be more proactive in her life. I’m glad I had Michael; having him was one of the best things I’ve ever done, but I want to be able to put my energy into Liv, and Estela, our little unit. Mostly, I’m excited. I am so, so ready to feel like a mom again.”

“Aw, Taylor-baby, you always were. But I getcha, sometimes you kind of lose a part of yourself in all that life throws up. And whatever life wants to throw at Liv, you guys got her back. She’s done all right for herself with you two.”

Exhaling, wiping away those stupid tears-- hadn’t she cried enough?-- Taylor nestled into a warm hug. Raj was a talented man, but no more so than in his ability to make everything feel all right. Together, her family had weathered many storms, and their bond would carry them through any still to come.

_____________________________

La Huerta, 2027

A resounding crack of lightning had Liv dive under the blankets, shaking in her Batman pyjamas. To her, it felt as though the storm had been raging for hours. Never had she heard the sky sound so angry. She burrowed under her Mama Estela’s arm.

“Mommy, it’s so loud,” she whimpered.

“I know, mija,” Estela said gently, stroking her four-year-old daughter’s hair. “But it can’t hurt us in here. Our house is strong and safe.”

The creaking of wood in the wind made Liv nervous. If the house was safe, why did it have to complain so much? Was it trying to scare her?

“It’s okay, Livi-sweetie,” Taylor soothed. “We’re all gonna sit this one out together.”

The family trio were sharing the big queen-size bed, Liv tucked up snuggly between her two mothers. There had been no talk of attempting to settle Liv in her own room; she was distressed, and that meant she could take security in the maternal bed.

As the howling wind became a frightening roar, Liv whined softly. At the foot of the bed, the little dog, Fenix, was sleeping soundly. Fenix didn’t have the best of hearing, which on this occasion struck Liv as quite lucky. The cat, Madam Mierdita, seemed more grumpy at the disturbance than frightened, growling and changing colours with every scary rumble.

“Hey, Liv,” Taylor said cheerily, hoping her easy tone would lessen the tension, “Knock, knock!”

Liv peered over the covers. Was now really the time? She’d humour her silly Mama Taylor. “Who’s there?”

“Europe.”

“Europe, who?” Liv asked, then her eyes went wide and she gave a shout of laughter. “Ha! You’re a poo, Mama Taylor!”

“No, you’re a poo!” Taylor chuckled. Saved, once again, by some good old fashioned toilet humour.

Estela rolled her eyes and shook her head exaggeratedly. “Oh, cariňa, you blow me away with your comedic wit.”

“Yeah!” Liv affirmed enthusiastically, apparently still oblivious to the art of sarcasm. “It was super funny!” She flinched at another crash of lightning, but didn’t hide under the covers.

“Well, my fan club, here comes another one!” Taylor smirked at Estela’s dramatic groaning. If it eased Liv’s fear, they could and would do this for hours. “Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?”

“I dunno, Mommy. W-why?” Liv asked, her voice wavering as a rumble of thunder seemed to shake the very earth. But if the world was ending, it would surely wait to hear the rest of Mama Taylor’s joke first.

“To get to the bottom!”

On queue, Liv squealed with laughter. “You said ‘bottom’!”

“You know, Taylor, I’m sensing a theme here.”

“Hey-- toilet jokes aren’t my favourite, but they’re a solid number two!”

“Dios mío! Why do I feel like I’m in for a long night?” Estela reached to tickle Taylor’s belly, which served to push Liv ever deeper into her giggle fit. She could never adequately express just how grateful she was that their daughter had that gorgeous dork to see her through the scary times. Don’t you ever change, mi amor.

The storm raged on. Cocooned together in their humble sanctuary, the small family saw it out-- or at least, Taylor and Estela did. Liv nodded off amid the thunder and the lightning, the wind and the rain… safe in her mothers’ arms.

_______________________________

La Huerta, 2033

“Livi-- be careful!”

“I am careful!” Liv hollered down from a towering palm tree. She had everything under contro--

There was a thud, and the squeak of breath being forced from Liv’s lungs as she hit the ground hard.

“Ow.”

Taylor rushed over, but her view was quickly blocked by young Isla, who had gotten there first.

“Where are you hurt?”

“I’m not hurt, Isla. See?”

“Did you hit your head?”

“No.”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Three.”

“Can you move all your arms and legs?”

“Yes!”

“On a scale of one to ten--”

Taylor cut in, feeling simultaneously relieved and incredibly fond of her friends’ little nurse in training. “Thanks, Isla, sweetheart. I think we’re good from here. Right?”

Liv scowled and jumped to her feet as if nothing had happened. “I’m fine, Mom.”

“Oh, Livita, foiled again by your old friend, gravity?” Estela laughed from her comfortable spot on the beach. She’d seen Liv through enough bumps and scrapes to know when there was nothing to worry about.

Taylor snorted, and ruffled Liv’s short hair. “Gravity’s a bitch. Try and respect her in the future, okay?”

Gravity wasn’t just a bitch. Gravity was Liv’s nemesis. A literal pain in her ass. Someday, Liv had decided, she was going to get a pilot licence like her Uncle Jake. That would teach bloody gravity.

A yell distracted Liv from her plotting.

“Hey, Livia! Livia!” Reggie hollered as he pelted up the beach. “The big tortoise came back! Diego said we can feed him! Quick!”

That got her attention. The past two years, the mighty Shore Guardian had lumbered into their midst during the reunion, and it had been an incredible thrill. In an instant, she was off and running.

“Liv, when I say to be careful…,” Taylor started.

“I know!” she called over her shoulder, “ Actually be careful. But you know I’m not scared of some old Shore Guardian, right?”

The tortoise was colossal. Built like a tank; the peak of his pyramid-like shell reached the height of a man. It had come as an immense relief to everyone when the creature started appearing on La Huerta’s shores, that he was of a docile and placid disposition.

“Helloooo there, Shelly!” Liv called, clambering up and over the rocks, a bunch of glowing flowers in her hand. “I brought you a snack.”

“See,” Diego said from his perch, overlooking the beast, “I told you he’d come back. He’s pretty smart. He must know that the reunion happens every year, and that the reunion means kids bearing flowers. I think you’ve started something, though-- the Vaanti kids are all over this guy when he hangs near Elyys’tel.”

“He’s less scary than the yeti-bear. I like the yeti-bear, but Mom and Mom say I’m still too young to give her a pat. Do you think I should make friends with the Sea Guardian next?”

The Sea Guardian was rarely observed. It was something like a plesiosaur with scales all the colours of the rainbow, and even after more than a decade since Cetus’ demise, it seemed as though the monster was only gettng larger. Sighting the beast was something of a badge of honour for young Vaanti, with the bolder among them daring to touch its back-- some even managing to take loose scales when the beast was shedding. There had only been a few serious injuries over the years, but the practice was largely frowned upon-- especially by those old enough to remember Cetus’ wrath. If there was one thing everyone agreed upon, it was that they did not want another Cetus.

Diego chuckled nervously. “Better stick to old Shelly. He appreciates your friendship.”

“Yeah, Livia, you should look after the friendships you’ve got,” Reggie said, huffing and puffing as he came over the ledge. “It’s not like you’ve got many.”

“Hey!”

“Was I insensitive again?” he asked sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“A little,” Diego said. “Why don’t you come closer and feed Shelly with Liv?”

Reggie eyed the hulking beast. “No… no, I’m fine just watching. A good scientist never interferes with wildlife. You know Jane Goodall used to feed chimps bananas? But that was like… years and years ago. Now we know that is not the best way to science.”

“Whatever, Reggie,” Liv laughed, “but don’t cry to me when I’m Shelly’s best friend.”

Down on the sand, Liv could feel the enormous presence of the giant tortoise as he towered over her, sniffing.

“Good boy, Shelly. You wanna flower?”

Diego watched her, ready to swoop down and pull her to safety if the beast appeared bothered. “Good job, Livi. Nice and slow so you don’t freak him out. Like… like you’re Hiccup and he’s Toothless.”

Liv chuckled, and peered into Shelly’s mouth as it gaped open to take a flower. “I think he is toothless.”

“Yeah, but I bet his hard mouth could break all the bones in your hand!” Reggie piped up.

“Shelly would never,” Diego assured. “He knows better than to bite the hand that feeds him.”

The tortoise gave a rumbling grumble of pleasure as he swallowed a flower.

“How have you guys been recently?” Diego probed, keeping it light, but knowing that life had recently been a rough ride for the kids. “I heard Maia moved schools; that kind of sucks. She was pretty great.”

She was pretty pretty, Liv thought, though she kept that to herself. “I’ve been really sad and lonely. But it’s all better now-- we’re all back here! No mean dumbasses. I wish Maia didn’t have to leave though.”

“I decided I don’t like getting in fights,” Reggie said. “I am now officially a pacifist. But… I guess I’ve gotta make exceptions if people are gonna say stuff about my sisters. They’re only little. They can’t stand up for themselves.”

“Better stick to fighting with your words, Reggie,” Liv said with a little smirk. “I have never seen such a weak-ass punch in my life….”

“Hey, I did pretty good!”

“If I hadn’t jumped in, they’d still be mopping you off the floor now,” she laughed.

“Well, maybe I’m better at more important things, like actually using my brain! You should try it sometime.”

“Okay, okay,” Diego intervened. “Easy, kids! You don’t want to freak old Toothless out.”

Liv looked up at Shelly. He was calmly chewing on the last flower she’d offered him, not batting an eyelid at the raised voices.

“Tio Diego,” she murmured. “Can I tell you something? And Reggie-- you can know too.”

“Of course, you can, Liv.”

“Well… it’s kinda… embarrassing. But I know you won’t laugh. Not when it’s important. I like liked Maia. I thought everyone would laugh at me if they found out I had a crush on a girl. I know it’s not something to be ashamed of, but I was still… too scared.”

“You’re telling us now-- that takes a lot of guts,” Diego told her. “It is scary. You never know how people are going to react. Most people are pretty cool these days, but it only takes one mean person to make you feel sad and small.”

Liv climbed back up onto the rocks to sit by her uncle’s side. “Yeah. Some of the kids already teased me about my moms. I thought there would probably be at least one mean person.”

“That’s fair,” Reggie concluded. “I mean, you’re probably right. If they were jerks about Erin, probably they wouldn’t be any nicer to you. They already think you’re kinda weird.”

Diego put an arm around his niece, and she leaned close. After all these years, he could always tell when she needed a hug. “Coming out and showing yourself to the world should always be on your terms. If you didn’t feel ready, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. It means a lot that you feel comfortable enough to share with me.”

“Of course! You’re my tio. I can tell you anything. Even the things that are just silly and annoying… you listen anyway.” Liv sighed, and threw down her last flower to the great, lumbering tortoise, who scarfed it down eagerly. “I’m sad that Maia is gone. I thought eventually I’d be brave enough. I can be brave with stuff like protecting people who need help, but feelings are harder.”

“Feelings can be the absolute hardest. But we’re on your side, whenever you’re ready to share them. Me and Varyyn, and Reggie, and your moms. Your moms are so proud of you, you know? Being sensitive and caring can be tough, but those feelings are what make you strong. Your Mama Taylor told me you’ve been helping her get up every day when she’s been feeling really down. You make a difference-- a good one. You don’t have to be brave enough for everything all at once.”

“Thanks, Tio. You’re smart. No wonder you wrote like, two whole books. All teachers should be as nice as you.”

“Well, I do my best. And in the end, that’s all you really can do. Do you remember from Cinderella? ‘Have courage, and be kind.’ I’d say you’re both pretty good at that already.”

______________________________

La Huerta, 2031

Seven-year-old Liv reached out her hands to a stricken bird as it flailed in distress. The sound of it being slammed against the window of the house by a larger, more aggressive foe had made her all but jump out of her skin, but if something might be hurt, she had to get over her fright quickly and help.

“Hello birdie…,”she cooed. Her fingers gently stroked the feathers on its back. It stopped flapping, but its breathing was laboured, as if it was struggling for air. Blood had risen from its eyes and nose. “It’s okay… I’m a friend.”

Gently, Liv scooped the wounded animal into her hands and cradled it, crouching over the grass in front of her home.

“Tio Diego! Varyyn! I need help!”

Of course, her uncles came running. They were never far away when tasked with keeping an eye on her; by now they were too well aware of her propensity for wandering into mischief not to be.

“Livita, are you okay--”

“Tio, she’s hurt. I think she’s gonna die. This great big bird got her and hit her against the window.”

Diego was pretty sure Liv had heard the talk about not touching wild animals, especially if they were injured and likely to lash out, but the reminder could wait. One look at the bird told him it was not long for this world.

“She is dying,” Varyyn confirmed, sadly. He exchanged a look with Diego. “It’s very sad… but we must make sure she doesn’t suffer.”

Liv sniffed. It wasn’t fair. This little bird used to hang around their home, foraging in the garden Mama Taylor had grown. They liked hearing her singing and calling to the other birds.

Varyyn squeezed Liv’s shoulder. “We’ll give her a minute to see if she fades away on her own. Do you trust us to do what’s kind for your friend?”

“Yeah… but I don’t want to leave her. I think she’s less scared with me holding her.”

Diego put an arm around Liv. “That’s good. You’re making her feel safe. Everyone deserves that. Just keep talking to her, okay? Hopefully, she’ll go peacefully.”

“It’s okay, birdie,” Liv whispered. “You’re not alone now. You can go to sleep.”

The bird gave a few more rattling breaths, then was still.

“Tio Diego… I think she’s died.”

“Yes, she’s gone, mija. You did amazing.”

Liv wept, held by her uncles.

“Death is always hard,” Varyyn said gently, “even when it’s kind. You always feel the hole where there was once a life.”

“S-she shouldn’t have died! She wasn’t hurting anyone… o-or doing anything wrong… she was just in that other bird’s way.”

“I know. It sad, and it’s not fair at all. But you made her last moments so much better; that counts for a lot. Everyone dies sometime… all you can hope for is that you go feeling loved, and you made that happen. It’s like… the circle of life. Nature can be really cruel, but that doesn’t take away the good bits. This little bird probably helped lots of plants spread their seeds.”

“Yes. Even if your friend’s life was short; it had great value.”

Liv raised her head, eyes wide. “Her body becomes the grass, right? Like Mufasa said? She’s got to at least get to be part of the circle of life if she can’t live anymore.”

“Yeah… yeah, that’s pretty much how it works. If we leave her body somewhere nice where it won’t be bothered, she can feed the earth.”

“Okay. I wanna do that, then.”

A sombre procession carried the little broken body to the edge of the meadow. Liv laid the bird beneath a bush and draped her body with a fallen leaf. Then, she sat and looked over the resting place of her friend, tears filling her eyes. Varyyn was right; already there was a big empty hole. An echoey feeling right in her heart. Liv would miss hearing the bird’s chirruping as she played around the garden with her Mama Taylor. Hopefully, she’d remember that, not just this sad, sad feeling… of knowing she couldn’t protect an innocent, of seeing a life fade to nothing. Mama Estela told her that was important. That nothing should ever take away what was beautiful about something or someone once they’re gone.

She got to her feet, brushed off the dirt from her hands, then slipped one into Diego’s.

Bye, bye.

__________________________

La Huerta, 2033

“Penny for yours?”

Estela sat down beneath an old familiar banana tree, settling beside Taylor, who appeared to be a million miles away.

“Oh… I was off in my own world, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, it looks that way. But you looked happy.”

“I am. Just being here has been a breath of fresh air. I feel like I’m me again, and it’s been a long time coming.”

Estela gave a contented hum and rested her head on her wife’s shoulder. “I’ve missed happy Taylor.”

“Well, thanks for sticking by and waiting out for her. Happy Taylor appreciates it.” Taylor chuckled at the sound of Estela’s quiet laughter. It was infectious. Hell, just Estela’s smile was like the embodiment of sunshine, it made coming out the other side of her dark cloud all the more glorious. “I think we’ve got our Livi back. Or I think we’re on the right track.”

“I know we are. It’s been a slow decline… I don’t think I even realised how miserable she’d gotten until I saw her snap back to how she should be.” Estela shrank in on herself. What excuse did she have? She had one job; to keep that kid happy. She didn’t have a war to contend with, or the struggle to get by between pay-checks, and she still couldn’t manage it. “I should have done better. I’ve been trying… I’ve been trying so hard… but somehow I couldn’t make everything better for her. Or you.”

“Don’t you even think about it! No.” Taylor pressed a fierce kiss to Estela’s temple. “We hit a few bumps in the road, that’s all. I wasn’t counting on an intense case of the baby blues… or what might actually have been full-on post-partum depression. The timing was unfortunate; really, it sucked. But you carried us through. When Liv got suspended and I couldn’t fucking stop crying because I just couldn’t handle it, you did handle it. You’re pretty great. Ask Raj; he gave me a magic pep talk earlier, I’m sure I could rope him into a repeat performance.”

“Thank you. You’re good at putting things in perspective, I’ll give you that. I know I set my bar too high. Just because Liv has her struggles, doesn’t mean I’ve failed… it means she’s a human being. And that’s probably what we were aiming for….”

Taylor giggled. “Godammit, my otherworldly influence has been foiled!”

“Actually, while we’ve got a chance to talk… I was speaking with Aleister earlier.”

“Yeah, I thought I saw you two hanging out.”

“Well, it seems like we’ve inspired him and Grace. Reggie’s not going back to that school next year either. It sounds like Livi’s gonna have a homeschooling buddy here on La Huerta!”

“Oh, wow! Ohmygod, that’s perfect! It’ll be just like old times; almost half the gang back home again. And… and the girls? Are they waiting a year, or are they going to teach them as well?”

“You’ll have to ask them, but it sounds like they’re going to get started with Erin and Immy. It’s going to be so good for Liv.”

“Yeah. Really that’s… that’s wonderful. God, I’m so happy right now!”

Estela found herself laughing. Her dork was back. She took Taylor’s hand. “And then, moving forward, Aleister says they’re considering a permanent move to San Trobida-- obviously under the assumption that we’ll be heading in that direction ourselves.”

“Oh my… holy crap!” Taylor flung her arms around Estela and hugged her tight. Something in her knew right away… yes, that’s right. That’s where we’re all meant to be. That gut feeling overshadowed any qualms or fears. “Tio Nicolas is really not gonna know what’s hit him, hey?”

“No; and I think it will be a dream come true.” Nestled in Taylor’s embrace, the scent of her mingling with the La Huerta sea air… it was, to Estela, the very essence of happiness. The excited yells of children at play had her look up over her lover’s arms; there was her Livita, piggybacking little Erin through the shallows while the terror, Immy, sent up wild splashes of water at their faces. It was time to try something new. For them.

“Aw, ‘Stel, just look at them!” Taylor snuggled in, a giddy grin on her face. She needed a change, and she had a feeling that for her, for Estela, for Liv… it would be a step towards their best lives. The year to come, and even beyond that, was to be a thrill ride of the most exhilarating kind, and they’d take it on hand in hand. She exhaled her fears and sadness, and let the wind carry them away. “I really love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too, Taylor. Forever.”

_____________________

Midnight over the Celestial. Or rather, two minutes to midnight. The countdown to Liv’s tenth birthday was on, and the kids-- save for the two little ones who’d long been in bed-- were just about hanging onto the non-grumpy side of overtired.

Ten years. How could that even be? Taylor could see the years in her face and Estela’s, but it still could have been yesterday that they were interrupting the festivities with the announcement that… ‘uh, I think baby might be coming’. What had followed was a period of some of the most intense hours either of them had lived through, a culmination of two lives’ dreams and emotions. And at the end of it, Taylor had found herself holding in her hands the second love of her life. Her sunshine. As children do, Liv grew. She’d tested her mothers, putting pressure on their weak points and making them stronger. She’d brought them closer, something Taylor wouldn’t have believed possible… but sharing their daughter’s journey was like watching a miracle unfold; to be touched and changed was inevitable.

Michelle joined Taylor, a knowing look on face as they watched Liv’s impatient jiggling.

“Crazy night ten years ago… my one and only midwife job.”

Taylor chuckled. “Crazy, crazy night. The best night of my life. I don’t think I’m ever going to stop thanking you for getting us through.”

“Oh, you’re very welcome. Ten years on, it’s stuck with me. It’s amazing to see the young woman she’s growing into. I’m not going to lie, I’m proud of my small part in putting her in the world.”

That change was coming so fast. The transition from that rosy-faced bundle of cuddles into a bright, opinionated adolescent was going to be underway in no time at all. Even now, looking at that giggling ten-year-old, it was hard to imagine.

I’m going to embrace every moment. Every one. You, me, your Mama Estela, we’re on this adventure together. And I can’t wait to see where it takes us next.

Estela put her arms around Taylor from behind, smiling into her wife’s shoulder.

“Is it my birthday yet?” Liv asked, bounding over to them.

“One minute, mija.” She tugged Liv into the hug and covered her forehead in kisses. “Come here!”

The cake was unveiled, and the small girls, Isla, Erin and Immy, erupted into ‘ooh’s, while Liv did a dance in her mothers’ arms. Her family around her sang, all together, celebrating her milestone, and she knew belonging. She looked up to her mothers and grinned, face aglow with candlelight.

The future was bright.

#endless summer #estela x taylor #playchoices

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hitchell-mope · 4 years ago

Text

(Third film. Kronk’s Tavern. Facillier’s just sat down at the bar next to Hades (Eva Green) who’s nursing a large flagon of beer)

Facillier: so you’ve heard

Hades: heard? Of course I’ve fucking heard. Your daughter and my son are dead

Facillier: legally. Legally dead there may still yet be hope

Hades: he has no magic. And she’s not powerful enough to keep the both of them alive. So either they’re both dead or there’s going to be a rampaging homicidal heartbroken teenager laying waste to the island any day now

Facillier: you don’t know that.

Kronk (genuinely trying to help): well anything’s possible isn’t it? Both could be dead or one had to eat the other. Phytoplankton only goes so far you know

Facillier: Kronk! There’s a call for you downstairs.

Kronk (not getting the sarcasm): OH BOY

(He launches headfirst into the floor knocking himself out cold)

Facillier: tch. Sideskicks. Now that’s been taken care of. How are you doing?

Hades: my second son is presumed dead. So is your first daughter. What do you think?

Facillier: not very good

Hades: nope!

(She takes another massive swig of beer)

Facillier: where’s Hadie right now?

Hades: with Antony at the butchers. Why?

Facillier: let’s get out of here. You can come back to mine. And we can

Hades: oh ho ho. The offers greatly appreciated. You don’t know how much. But I have a wife

Facillier: I know. She dumped you the morning after the wedding night the moment she realised she was pregnant with Mal.

Hades: oh, no. No. I mean my first wife. Persephone. After all this trouble I think it’s time I put our arrangement aside and focus on her and my five, sorry, four, four children.

Facillier: be that as it may. You’re in no state to be alone tonight. At least let me escort you back to your lair

Hades: nope. Nope. Too risky. I don’t trust myself

(This is when “honey I’m good” happens. After the song she collapses into Facillier’s arms completely drunk)

Facillier: yeah....I’m taking you back to my place. You can’t be alone tonight

Hades (mumbling): ifyoumustyoumust

Facillier: heh?

(Hades mumbles again. This time even more unintelligibly. Then pushes herself away from him)

Hades: fine then. Walk me home.

Facillier: start going. I’ll catch up.

Hades: oooh no no no. You’re walking me back to your place.

Facillier: someone has to pay for the booze

Hades (incredulously): it’s KRONK!

Facillier:....fair point

(They leave the tavern and make their way back to the arcade. This is when “walk me home” happens. After the song they walk through the door of Facillier’s arcade, Hades (having switched to his Sebastian Stan form) being half carried-half dragged inside by Facillier)

Anastasia: so he’s heard?

Facillier: and then some. And kronk was absolutely no help whatsoever

Anastasia: Well you know what we sidekicks are like

Facillier: yes I do. I was one.

Anastasia: oh yeah....I forgot about that

Facillier: everyone does. Help me get him to the sofa

Hades (grumpily pushing himself off from Facillier): no-ohhhh!!!! Imma go drinkie-poo some more

Anastasia: drinkie-poo?

Facillier: cut him some slack alright? He’s grieving his son. I doubt you’d be coping well if Anthony were dead

Anastasia: first off. No one should ever mourn a pirate. Secondly. Assumed dead is very different than ACTUALLY dead. Thirdly. Uma’s in the same situation and you’re not falling apart.

Facillier: I can’t afford to.

Hades (over at the bar): STOP TALKING!!!! I’M WALLOWING HERE!!!!

Anastasia: yeah, we know. And you need to stop

Hades: why the he>hic<ell should I?

Anastasia: because it’s not healthy?

Hades (hair bursting into flames): I AM A GOD!!!!

Facillier: yeah, yeah, we heard you the first 98 million times. Now! We need to sober you up

Hades: wahverfor?

Anastasia: it’s unseemly for a being of your calibre to behave in this manner

Hades: oh fuck off Human!

(Facillier pulls Anastasia off to the side)

Facillier: I think it’s time to try a different approach

Anastasia: ya think?

Facillier: the question is; what do we do?

Anastasia: if we can make this slag heap partially liveable we can kick a deity out of his funk.

Facillier: yeah but how?

Anastasia: to music of course.

Facillier: now why didn’t I think of that?

Anastasia (cupping his face in her hands and looking fondly at him): because you can be a right old idiot sometimes

Facillier: thank you Ana, thank you for the help

Anastasia: it’s what I’m here for Antoine. HADES!!!! What happened to you. We made this island what it is. We built everything from the arcade to the docks. Admittedly it only took 12 hours but we did it. So why are you so down in the dumps?

Hades: I grew up. I have four-three-one. I have 1 child on this island and now he’s all grown up. I’m superfluous.

Anastasia: but people used to run at the mere mention of your name. What happened?

Hades: I’m dead inside

Anastasia: then reignite. Antoine!

(Facillier turns the stereo on. This is when “we built this city” happens. After the song they collapse on the sofa)

Anastasia: feel a bit better?

Hades (chuckling slightly): a bit

Anastasia: gonna stop the hard drinking?

Hades: yup

Anastasia: alright then. In that case. I’m gonna go back to my place. The meat ain’t gonna cut itself you know

Facillier: you could just ask us to help you with magic

Anastasia: nah, I like doing it myself. Keeps me busy. See ya tomorrow

Facillier and Hades: see ya

Hades (immediately after the door closes): I lied

(He launches himself at the bar intent on getting more beer)

Facillier: oh no you don’t!

(He clicks his fingers and Hades ends up suspended in mid air. This is when “I do not hook up” happens. After the song the focus momentarily shifts back to Uma and Celia witnessing the flashbacks)

Uma: wow. They were cut up

Celia: yeah....

Uma (breaking into laughter): THIS IS AMAZING!!!!

Celia: what

Uma: don’t you see? This means someone actually cares about me. I always thought-

(Suddenly they get pulled out of the arcade and into another building filled with exercise equipment, a boxing ring and musical devices)

Celia: where are we

Uma: Morgana’s Speakeasy

Celia: there’s a speakeasy on the island?

Uma: sort of. She told me it’s fun to say. And more inviting then mere bare knuckle boxing. Why would the incense bring us here though?

Celia: of course. Look.

(Uma turns to see the action behind her. Morgana looks shellshocked as Anastasia fetches her a drink)

Morgana: she’s gone. Dead. Dead and gone

Anastasia: assumed dear and gone. There’s still a chance she’s alive

Morgana: if he tries to worm his way back here he’s in for a nasty dose of reality. I can tell you that nothing

Anastasia: Morgan, you’ve got to stop doing this. Not everything has to be traced back your psycho sister and Antoine.

Morgana: tell that to them then.

Anastasia: that’s....a lot of T’s in one sentence. You know what you need? Visualisation Therapy.

Morgana: and that would be?

Anastasia: I don’t know. I read it in a book. And I’m spouting it to what I made Hades do just now. I see no reason why it can’t work on you as well.

Morgana: what do we do?

Anastasia: you’ve got second hand karaoke right?

Morgana: at the bar

Anastasia: perfect. (She walks over to the bar). Now let’s see. Hmmmm. Ooh! Perfect.

(She switches on the machine. After a few stutters and a tiny, easily squashed fire the music starts)

Morgana: oh Christ not this one. It doesn’t even make sense

Anastasia: who cares? Just sing it!

Morgana: ugh. Fine

(This is when “big girls don’t cry” starts. After the song the Speakeasy melts away and the two sisters get pulled upwards)

Uma: what was that?

Doug: ten minutes are up. Come on

(He leads them back into the kitchen where Carlos is glowing with white light and viciously beating Harry up as everyone but Hades, Elsa, Hadie and the Hook sisters cheer him on)

Uma: what the hell’s going on?

Doug: Harry ran his mouth. Carlos got so pissed off he unlocked his latent demon magic. And is now currently in the process of beating the shit out of Harry

Uma: and the king allowed this?

Doug: he’s Carlos’s father. Of course he did.

Uma: DE VIL. STOP THIS RIGHT NOW

Carlos (with the “I’m far too cute for you to get mad at me” look on his face): Sono sempre così terribilmente dispiaciuto capitano. ma non ho la più pallida idea di cosa stai insinuando

Uma: what?

Carlos: means “no”. I can speak Italian now

Jay: I like Italian Carlos

Uma: aren’t you English or something

Carlos: my biological fathers the coachman from pleasure island. Who else do you think would willingly reproduce with Cruella De Vil?

Uma:....good point. But you’re what? 16? How have you only just unlocked your magic?

Carlos: never been quite so pissed off before. Thank you Hook

(Harry wheezes and coughs up blood in response)

Doug: anyway....hades, Mal. I believe you two were going to tell them something.

Hades: yes! Right. Sorry. Uh. Where to start?

Doug: want me to help?

Mal: please?

Doug: fine. When I was under the sleeping curse Maleficent appeared to me and tried to get me to betray you all and join her. I stabbed her with a material dark fae are allergic to and she teleported away. But before they she said something that got me thinking. Some crap about being naive and on your own. But I wanted to know more. So I asked Hades. And then told him to tell Mal cause you know it’s her family history even if she doesn’t see herself as Maleficent’s daughter anymore. Now your turn. Your eminence

Hades: Maleficent isn’t french. She’s Persian. In the year three hundred she decided she wanted rule her kind. Only. They weren’t hierarchical. So she got mad. And killed them. Every last man, woman and child. Until she was the last one left. Then made her way to france. She made a name for herself. Became the Mistress Of All Evil. In 1300 Aurora was born. And, well, you know the rest.

Uma (incredulous): what?

Mal: and the really funny thing is. I don’t know how to speak Persian. But apparently. I can understand it. Take it away dad

Hades: امروز برای صبحانه چی خوردی؟

Mal: bakers dozen egg yolk omelette deep fried in chunky chocolate peanut butter. SEE!?!?

Uma: I-I-I I can’t

Evie: neither can I Uma. But let’s face my sister is inordinately and insanely unfairly lucky

Carlos: are you seriously still on this?

Evie: I just don’t think it’s fair that Mal is willing to forgive him after what he did and yet I’m not allowed to be rightfully mad he abandoned me for sixteen years

Mal: we’ve been over this E. You know why he did what he did

(The two sisters continue to argue as Carlos approaches Jay)

Carlos: I think it’s time for that spell again

Jay: good. Because I really like what happens when we use it. By your leave C

Carlos: thank you. To get rid of these ants in their pants/I command thee all to get up and dance.

(This is when “we are” happens. After the song. Evie now looks more annoyed than ever)

Evie: stop doing that!

Carlos: why? I think it’s hilarious.

Ben: yeah it is actually kinda growing on me

Evie: well I don’t like it. So stop doing it. Ok?

Carlos: when did you become such a drag?

Evie: hmmmmm let’s see. Probably right around the time I found out I’m related to two of the people I hate most in this world.

Carlos: hmmmmm. Nah. You were a drag before today

Mal (sensing danger): ok that’s it!

(She clicks her fingers and the whole house melts away along with everyone else leaving her and Evie in a beige coloured void)

Evie: what did you do that for?

Mal: because you snapped at Carlos.

Evie: of course. Of course you defend the precious prince(.)

Mal: what is your problem? Huh? I’m mean you weren’t exactly sugary sweet before. But today you’ve been downright freaky. Ever since I connected the dots you’ve been indulging in this pity party act that just isn’t like you. And sometimes you’re fine. And then you go ballistic for no good reason-oh my god. Is it your uh....?

Evie: what? No. That’s next week.

Mal: ohhhh. Then what is it? Cause frankly. You’re being a nightmare. And you really need to-

Evie: I don’t know ok! And even if I did know. I wouldn’t tell you. Cause there’s no way in His realm you would ever understand

Mal: and just what is that supposed to mean?

Evie: I don’t ugh I just. (Irritable sigh). It’s just that.

Mal: tell me

Evie: no

Mal: why not? Maybe I could help

Evie: you couldn’t. I doubt even Doug or Dizzy could help.

Mal: why?!

Evie: BECAUSE IT’S NOT HAPPENING TO YOU!

Mal: what!

Evie: you just don’t get it. Everything was fine. I escaped my mother. I have Doug. I have Dizzy. I gave our house. And then this happens. And you are oh so smug about it.

Mal: I’m afraid I’m not following.

Evie: of course you’re not. Allow me put this in terms you might understand

(This is when “better than I” happens. After the song. Evie snaps her fingers and takes them back to the kitchen)

Evie: so do you?

Mal: do I what?

Evie: know better than I do? Know why it’s so difficult for me to accept this?

Mal: no

Evie: then keep out of it then

(She stalks out of the kitchen)

Uma: whoo. I do believe you’ve touched a nerve

Carlos: shut up Uma

Uma: or what?

Carlos: or I’ll make you

Uma: you wouldn’t dare

Carlos: I almost killed you back in the mirror. And that was without magic. Imagine what I can do now that I have it

Uma: you don’t scare me De Vil

Carlos: of course not. Because you don’t want to face the fact that the “weak little human bitch” that you loved siccing Harry on. Can now REPEATEDLY hand you your multi legged ass on a platinum platter

Uma: you wouldn’t dare.

Carlos: oooh let’s see now

(He summons Uma’s nautilus necklace to his hand and freezes her in place)

Carlos: how’d she do this again? Oh yeah

(The nautilus begins glowing white hot and he starts singing)

Carlos: 🎶If you want to cross the bridge, you bitch/You've got the pay the toll/Take a gulp and take a breath/And please try not to be a troll/mom and dad you know I've got her, guys/The prince is on a roll/This poor unfortunate soul🎶 What was next? Oh right. 🎶Beluga sevruga. Come winds of the Caspian Sea/Larengix glaucitis/Et max laryngitis/La voce to me🎶 Now, sing!

Carlos (with an insanely sadistic smile on his face): Keep singing!

(White smoke pours out of the nautilus, forms into hands and makes their way to Uma’s throat. Which is itself glowing. Just like Ariel’s did all those years ago.)

Uma (utterly pants shittingly terrified): Aah...

(The smokey hands had just about reached into Uma’s mouth when Doug snatches the nautilus out of Carlos’s hand and throws it back to Uma who falls to her knees and starts sobbing brokenly)

Carlos: hey dude, not cool.

Doug: now is really not the time C. Alright?

Carlos: urgh. Fine

(Doug follows Evie upstairs. Carlos looks around in mild surprise)

Carlos: hey. Where’d my folks go?

(Out in the backyard Ben and Mal are surveying the completely totalled gazebo)

Mal: so whadya say? Can it be salvaged?

Ben: possibly sold to a salvagers. OOOH! I know! If we clean the wood up and fix any missing chunks I can take it to the island and give it out as free firewood. Wait. Does winter exist on the isle?

Mal: there’s no snow. But it’ll get very cold very fast at the end of August.

Ben: that should be enough time to clean and multiply the wreckage.

Mal: sounds like a plan.

Ben: whatcha thinking of?

Mal: sisters getting on my nerves

Ben: again

Mal: well at least I’m trying. Which is a damn sight more than she’s doing.

Ben: perhaps she doesn’t want you to try? Like how you never let us go to therapy with you?

Mal (realising what he means): oh. Never thought about it like that before

Ben: eh that’s alright. There’s a lot that’s been going on today. S’understandable. And besides. Even if you don’t patch it up today. You’ve got until the sun expands to talk it over. And then some. But just remember you’ve got me as well.

(He waggles his eyebrows and smiles that “who said I can’t be an incorrigible little shit just because I’m the king” smile that always makes Mal laugh)

Mal (through her laughter): oh how positively awful

(This is when “1000 years” happens. After the song. Bal hug each other. Then Mal sees something in the kitchen)

Mal: I’m so sorry. You give very, very good advice. But I’m afraid I have to go and make a scene.

(She heads back inside)

Ben (chuckling to himself): I wouldn’t have it any other way

(In the kitchen. Evie’s behind the counter. She’s put her hair up in a messy bun, taken all her makeup off and is forest green pyjamas monogrammed with the initials “D.N.S.G”)

Mal: what’re you doing? This isn’t like you. Getting ready for bed when you have guest. What’re you playing at?

Evie: I’m tired, Mal. It’s been a long. I’ve been put through hell. So excuse me but im going to bed

Mal: at 9:40 in the evening?

Evie: you all know where your rooms are. Celia can bunk with Dizzy. Hades, Hadie and Elsa can camp out in the living room. The pirates can fuck off outsude for all I care. I’m. Going. To bed

Gil: this really does seem unlike you E. Party isn’t over yet. And, plus, we’ve still got to come up plan to stop Chad, Maleficent and Adam.

Evie: but we can’t do that right now. You know that right? If we make up a plan right now and go in guns blazing we’re toast. You understand that right? I mean what the hell are we compared to them? Huh? (Pointing to Mal). A dragon in therapy.(Pointing to Ben). The one scaly to rule them all. (Pointing to Carlos). A teenager who’s four steps away from being a marvel villain. (Pointing to Jay). Civilised Tarzan. (Pointing to Uma). Kleines Fräulein tunnel vision. (Pointing to Harry then Hadie). My brothers slut one and slut two. (Pointing to Harriet). Scottish Bellatrix. (Pointing to Hades). My abandoner of a father. (Pointing to Elsa). An ice queen with social anxiety. (Pointing to CJ). A Liddellite. (Pointing to Celia). Lyra fucking Silvertongue. (Pointing to Lonnie). The general. (Pointing to Jane). A powder keg full of marshmallows. (Pointing to Gil). Blonde Hercules. (She gets kinder now as she points to Dizzy). My beyond intelligent daughter. (Pointing upstairs which is where Doug still is). My talented amazing brilliant extremely handy boyfriend. (Pointing to herself). And me. The only one in this place with any brains. So you see Gilly. We can’t beat them like this. So I’m going to bed. And we can reconvene in the morning. Good night and leave me alone

(She turns to leave but Carlos stops her)

Evie (whining): whahahat? What now?

Carlos: rooms?

Evie: what? Oh yeah. Let’s see now. Most of you know where your rooms are anyway. Uhhhh. Celia. You can share with Dizzy. Elsa and Hades can sleep on the fold out couches in the lounge. The pirates can sleep outside. It’s supposed to rain tonight. Hopefully they’ll melt. Once again. Goodnight!

(She leaves again. She’s halfway up the stairs when Squeaky starts whimpering in pain in his sleep. Squirmy soon joins him. And then they both start crying)

Evie (inhaling sharply through her nose): this is just not my day is it? (Calling up the stairs) Doug. Could you come down. (Bitterly). The shit’s hitting the fan.

(After Doug comes back down. The twins are still screaming and crying in their sleep. And he pirates are looking progressively more terrified)

Uma: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!?!

Mal (frantically flipping through the spell book): I don’t know! I don’t know!

Hades: and what time is it now?

Hades (thinking intensely): twelve hours. DOUGLAS! What time was it when my ex wife and that class traitor attacked the house?

Doug: uhhhh. 10am. Why?

Hades: and what’s time now?

Matty (who’s just arrived and been witnessing the past events amusedly with a very frightened Dude in his arms): 9:50pm

Carlos: GIVE ME BACK MY DOG!!!! (Matty does so). Thank you. Now. What the hell are you doing here you little freak?

Matty: temper temper Mr De Vil. I suggest you treat me a mite more kindly because right now I am your only hope of keeping those two awake past sunrise.

(At this point the screen cuts to Ursula’s restaurant on the isle. The time stamp on the screen says “several hours ago”. Hook’s at the piano, all limbs and mental faculties restored and he’s giving a little performance to all the villains who are meeting there. This is when “little drop of poison” happens.)

#disney descendants #zendaya!mal

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