#I’m gonna come home from like church or something to everyone crying

[ferallester]

*skitters in, crashing into walls as I go*

the gay jacket is back

[crystalcow]

𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑//𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝 𝑝𝑡 3

Masterlist // part one // part two

Sapnap x reader !p !child reader

Pronouns used: none specified!

Warnings: swearing, death, betrayal

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╔.▪️.═════════╗

Being sapnaps child will include..

╚═════════.▪️.╝

𝐏𝗼𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐥

Apparently the castle got attacked

George was killed by the one and only technoblade

You haven’t personally met the man but you respected him

After all he is a legend

But he killed George

So you were dragged with sapnap when he got pinged on his coms

Dream and George were arguing on the prime path

The sight somewhat terrified you

They were supposed to be best friends?

Dream is the strongest person on the server

George was supposed to be the most unproblematic and protected person

For some reason Quackity was also there

Hiding in the corner of Tommy’s house

“You don’t give a shit about us”

Those words brought some hurt to you as they left sapnaps mouth

“Of course I care about you! I just want to keep him safe.”

The three most important men in your life

The dream team, and ultimate trio the friendship that could never crack! The ones who raised you to be who you are

They were falling apart

“George is no longer king!”

Quackity was just eating all of the drama

Damn duck

“I’ve done so much for you, I hope you don’t forget.”

“Like what?” “I helped you raise a child Sap, a damn child.”

That pissed the both of you off

As if you didn’t just recently spend a whole day with him

None the less your whole life

Being drawn into wars, multiple actually

Practically being drawn to death

“Don’t you bring them into this Dream.”

“Eret is now king again, he can actually rule this place.”

“I was the best king this server ever had!”

So there it happened

The crown was snatched off of George’s head and you were dragged along with it

“Don’t worry, we can start our own place!”

“El rapids it is”

𝐄𝐥 𝐑𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐬

You were 100% skeptical about all of this

You didn’t trust that this would be good

I mean how could you

Everything that someone starts on the server

Dies, explodes, nukes, or straight up fails

So instead you went down to Lmanburg for the day!

You went to Nikkis bakery to get something to eat

She was glad to give you a couple snacks for the road

So while you were walking around the new area you spotted dream

“Where you heading off to?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You both eyed each other weirdly

“Aren’t you supposed to hate me?”

You just laughed

Ofcourse you were upset

But you were also bored

“And?” “Come on let’s go see tommy”

So you agreed and carelessly followed the green man

You missed Tommy, after not having seen him for a bit

Fucking hell you needed friends

But when you got there

“Why the fuck is everything gone!”

You ran around the now blown up area

The tents were destroyed and signs were thrown around

Then you noticed the large pillar

You instantly ran to dream, begging him to give you a pearl

He was upset himself he lost his leech

So you threw the pearl up thankfully landing on the pillar

Looking around to see if there was any way he could’ve survived

But you accidentally tripped

And lost your first life

𝐘/𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝗼𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝗼𝗼 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 ♡︎♥︎♥︎

𝐏𝐫𝗼𝐩𝗼𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐬

You woke up screaming in your bed

The three lines on your wrist now faded into two

Sapnap came rushing in holding you lose to him

You tried not to but you cried a little

This was your first time loosing a life..

And you didn’t even mean too!

“Your never fucking leaving me again.”

Karl came in with Quackity following after

Karl just like snatched you away from sapnap and just held you

That man was ready to go back in time and reverse that from ever happening

Trust me he will if you ever loose another life

So after that everyone kept a close eye on you

That was until one day you were with your dad

You both were at your old house just chilling around

Before he handed you two velvet boxes

You were in awe of the two rings that sat in them

Who the fuck paid for these??

“I’m going to purpose.”

You almost dropped the boxes

“What?”

Sapnap just kept smiling

“You really like em huh” “Yeah flame, I love them.”

So you just hugged him

Internally freaking the fuck out

What would this mean???

Three dads? What if they wanted another child! Oh hell no

So you all stood in el rapids

Candles were spread around the top of the grassy hill

There were flowers blooming from every direction and lanterns set afloat

It looked mystical

You watched as sapnap got down on one knee

Karl was in shock, tears streaming down his eyes

Quackity looked love struck, looking into sapnaps eyes with total adoration

So when they said yes your dad called you and the other two just hugged you

“I’m guessing they said yes” you laughed

“Yeah they did!”

You couldn’t help but be happy

Your dad finally found some happiness

Even tho life was going to shit

If you won’t be there

He’ll have them

𝐋𝗺𝐚𝐧𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐞𝗺

Oh wait shit did someone spot tommy?

There was supposed to be a festival today

So you went to go check it out

Maybe throw a ball at the furry

“Go fetch!” You shouted at fundy

Yeah he was not happy and just threw you the finger

“Hey N/n is Dream coming?”

You were excited that Tubbo was actually talking to you again

“Huh? Oh yeah I think” “Great thanks”

And back to the disappointment

So you walked over to get a pretzel or some shit

And then heard everyone making a commotion

There he was, Dream walking in (angry) with full netherite armor

Damn dude respect some tradition

“Tommy blew up the fucking community house”

Did someone say tommy?

Oh you were ready to kill that bastard

Hell if Dream didn’t you most definitely will

So you followed everyone to the community house

Yeah you were ready to fucking cry

One of your homes, the place you’d always confide in since you were little

Where dream and George both helped raise you

Now blown to shreds

“What the fuck”

They were talking about Tubbo giving up the discs

Oh we are not going through that shit all over again

And this time the odds are most definitely not in your favor

Then tommy appeared half invisible

“YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD I THOUGHT YOU DIED YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT”

You litterly stabbed him, having to be held back by Quackity

“Alright hot shot, lets let them have their argument”

Tommy sent you an apologetic look already on the verge of tears

“Tubbo your not seriously considering this”

Then it hit everyone

“The discs were worth more then you ever were!”

Oh yeah we’re you already pissed off at tommy?

Yeah

And he just made it worse

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO TUBBO YOU SHIT HEAD”

Yeah you didn’t take pretending to be dead very lightly

Oh shit why was techno there

never mind, Lmanburg will be gone by tomorrow

No point killing tommy yet

Whos side were you on?

Neither. You litterly went into that battle feild and killed some shit

That was until multiple pieces of tnt landed ontop of your head

And that’s where you lost your second life

Shit

𝐘/𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐰 𝐮𝐩 ♡︎♡︎♥︎ ⚠︎︎ᴏɴᴇ ʟɪғᴇ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴɪɴɢ

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐬𝗼𝐧

This time when you won’t up it didn’t feel as bad

But you still screamed

A rush of a heartburn and scars employed on your body

The second line now faded into one

Shit

You were only 16-17 and on one life??

Die young the better

You waited out in your bed until the end of the fight

Death alerts and messages drowning out your communicator

But you had no energy what so ever

Until it all went quiet

You tried your damn best to get out of bed and walked to the damaged Lmanburg

There were people crying

Others were severely hurt

Then there were those who were perfectly fine

The whole place was a crater

Lmanburg.. the place of agony and depths of your pain

Now it’s finally gone

What the hell are you gonna do now?

Quackity spotted you calling out for Sapnap

You felt like you were gonna be crushed under their hold

“I’m gonna fucking kill dream.” You heard Quackity mutter

Sapnap felt like a bad father

Who lets their kids die twice?

(Cough cough Wilbur and dream)

Then suddenly things switched around

You were walking around with a bloodied nose and black eyed Tommy

Yeah you did a number on him

But it’s okay since he was your best friend

And there was a sign inside his house

“Wednesday you and Tubbo. Bring no one or anything, lets settle this once and for all”

The final disc war

“Tommy you can’t go” “I’m going N/n, he has my discs.”

So you like cried a little bit lined up on the prime path

Giving the two probably the last hugs they’ll ever get

Prime you really didn’t want to loose them

So you ran straight to church prime

Litterly begging Master Oolong that they won’t die

“Please please please spare them. Pogchamp.”

(Please this is all jokes and old references don’t cancel me)

You got a blast message from punz on your comms with cords

“Come here. bring your best armor”

So you did so running to the nearest ender chest

If walking means saving tommy and Tubbo, it’s somewhat worth it

Sapnap made sure you didn’t leave his side as you traveled around the nether

even tho you could literally swim in the lava

So just to piss him off

You jumped in

The sigh of relief this man

Yeah he’s gotten a little more paranoid for you

But it’s okay since it’s in love

You looked around the weird black stone room

There were two giant photos of the discs

And everything was made out of the same material

No design what so ever

Tommy and Tubbo ran to you like you were gonna protect them

“Dream why” you asked as he was incased in the blocks

Down on his last life

Just like you

‘I’m sorry’ he mouthed to you

Why was he apologizing to you?

Hasn’t he hurt everyone here

You looked around the different items

Tracing the outline of the item frames

Gasping in shock as you a cage with your name on it next to badboyhalo

“Tell em what you told me! How you blew up the community house!”

Your neck spun around faster then an owl doing that 360 thing

You picked up your ace seriously read to slash his head off

“Wait wait! Lets put him in the prison.”

So they took him off

And it pained you to see it

You trusted that man for a very long time

Nothing stays the same on the Dream Smp

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TUMBLR WOULDNT LET ME WRITE MORE KMS. So yes I’m sorry but there will have to be a part FOUR. I just wanted to finish this-

As always! Ask or request anything and ask if you want to be on a tag list :))

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Run to You Part Three

Derek Morgan x Reader

Words: 1758

Part 3 of 3

Part One; Part Two

Summary: Having been dating for a while, you finally feel comfortable enough to introduce your boyfriend to your daughter, Angelica. Derek takes on the role better than you could have imagined and you start to feel like a family. Then one day, Angelica disappears from a friend’s house and your ex husband starts making demands. 

Notes: Is this procedurally correct? Probably not. But here it is! The last part to my Derek Morgan imagine! I hope you guys enjoy this and never forget that replies mean the world! This one kinda feels jumbled, but I hope you still like it. (I’m sorry it took forever! I got caught up with other projects, which I hope to be sharing soon!)

More Criminal Minds: HERE

-

The swarms of cops were overwhelming. You watched teams and teams of people surrounded the block Dr. Reid was the one that figured out that Lance had brought Angelica to the church that you got married, especially upon the discovery that it was going to be torn down in a few weeks. The idea of losing the one connection to you he had left was likely a trigger. 

No one was allowed to get too close. They worried that cornering Lance would make him panic and kill Angelica, so you were forced to stand back and watch. They made sure you weren’t alone, of course, though you weren’t sure if it was to comfort you or to make sure you didn’t try and run in alone. With all of the standing around you were doing, you felt ready to break down the front door. 

“Alright, so we’re sending a team around to the back to get in as quickly and quietly as possible. That’ll be me, Prentiss and a couple of the local P.D.” Derek explained, keeping his eyes locked on yours to make sure you understood that he wasn’t going to let anything happen to your baby. 

“He wants me, Derek. What if he knows you’re in there and he panics and he-”

“Hey, listen to me,” He put a hand on your cheek. “I’m not gonna let that happen.” Despite the eyes of his coworkers, he pulled you in for a gentle, reassuring kiss. It did little to calm you down, but just having him there made the situation that much easier. That moment, however, was cut short by the ringing of your phone. 

“God, not again.” You cried, pulling the device from your pocket. This time, Derek held out his hand. You gave him a confused look, but handed it to him. 

“Mr. Booker.” 

“You must be Agent Morgan.” Lance spat. “I know that you and your gang of federal pigs are coming after me. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because Y/N will see she’s wrong. I’ll show her she’s wrong.”

“Mr. Booker, we just want Angelica to be safely returned to her mother.” 

“What about her father, Agent Morgan? What about me!” 

“I want to make this as easy on you as possible, Mr. Booker, but you’ve got to help me out here.”

“Just bring my wife to me and nobody will get hurt.” 

“I can’t do that, Lance. You know I can’t do that.” Derek could tell that you were starting to panic from the way your eyes kept darting to the church and you slowly crept closer. He took your hand to keep you from bolting in there. 

“If I don’t see her in the next half hour... I’m taking my baby girl with me.” The call ended, but Morgan was already prepping his team to go in. 

“Derek, what did he say?” You kept your grip on his hand, following him to join Prentiss. 

“Nothing that he hasn’t already said.” He gave you the most reassuring look he could, but he knew that they had to act fast. 

“I’m going with you.”

“No. No, baby, you can’t.” He took your face in his hands. “Y/N, I need you to stay here. I need you to be safe. I can’t go get your little girl if I’m worried about you too, okay?” You shut your eyes, feeling more frightened tears slip down your cheeks. 

“What if he… what if you don’t get her in time? I need to see her, I-I need-”

“Don’t even think like that, baby.” He looked over your shoulder and motioned to the younger agent to stand beside you. “Now Reid is going to stay here with you, okay?” Reid gave him a small nod and put a comforting hand on your shoulder. Derek kissed your forehead. “I’ll be right back and I’m bringing Angel with me.” 

As he walked away, you could feel your body start to shake. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. You shut your eyes tight, the foolish part of you hoping that when you opened them, Derek and Angie would be smiling in front of you. But when you finally opened your eyes, all you saw was him walking away.

-

Morgan moved silently, followed closely by his team. Prentiss was right behind him and the other officers were ready to go. From what they could tell, Lance was in the chapel, keeping Angelica towards the back. The church had multiple entrances with one leading to the basement. This was determined to be the best point of entry since Lance was least likely to hear the team coming. 

While you couldn’t see him anymore, your heart beat more with every second. Dr. Reid stood by your side, his presence serving as a small comfort as he listened to the situation through his earpiece. He shifted suddenly and gave you a small, if not nervous, smile. 

“They’re in.” 

Derek directed the officers to one staircase while he and Prentiss crept up the other. The old floors creaked as they walked, making him wince. He could only hope that Lance couldn’t hear them. They moved fast and efficiently like they would any other raid, but his body was buzzing more than usual. He focused on the image of Angelica and kept going. 

“Morgan,” Prentiss stopped suddenly, looking around the corner. 

Angelica was seated on top of the old alter, swinging her small legs back and forth while she colored in a tattered psalm book. Booker was nowhere to be found. Morgan and Prentiss approached her slowly, double checking to make sure Lance wasn’t waiting for them. As soon as they were sure, Morgan ran to the little girl. 

“Derek!” She cried, throwing her arms around his neck. 

“It’s alright, Angel. I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay.” He cradled the back of her head, holding her closed to his chest. 

“Sweetheart, I need you to tell us where your dad went.” Prentiss said gently. Angelica just gave her a tearful look and pointed up. The two agents exchanged a look, reaching the same conclusion. Derek motioned to one of the officers and reluctantly handed her a crying Angelica. 

“I wanna stay w-with D-Derek!” 

“I know, sweetie, but this nice woman is going to take you out to your mama, okay? I have to go find your dad with Emily. I’ll be out before you know it, but I need you to be brave. Can you do that?” 

She nodded, but held onto his hand until he had to pull away. Prentiss put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Morgan if you need to-”

“No, I want to finish this. I’m not letting that son of a bitch take the easy way out.” 

As they made their way to the roof, you were desperately watching the door of the church, gripping Dr. Reid’s hand a little too tightly. Time was ticking and your heart beat faster every second. 

Suddenly, a group of officers exited the church. You didn’t see Derek, but at the back of the group, a female officer held Angelica. Immediately dropping Reid’s hand, you sprinted towards her, taking her from the officer’s arms and holding her closer than you ever had. You cried as her hands clung to your shirt, promising yourself to never let her out of your sight again. 

On the roof, Derek stared down Lance as he prepared to jump. 

“Don’t do it, Mr. Booker.” Prentiss said, carefully taking a step towards him. 

“There isn’t a point anymore.” The man swayed back and forth, almost losing his balance. “I just wanted us to be a family again.”

“Killing yourself won’t fix what you did all those years ago, Lance.” 

“I loved Y/N. I swear I did. But I kept hurting her. I kept hurting her and now my daughter doesn’t even know who I am.” 

“Is this how you want Angelica to remember you? The man who hurt her mom and took her away?” Derek inched closer, careful not to provoke him into jumping. “If you die now, that’s all she’ll know.” 

“Don’t come any closer!”  Lance screamed, but he had stopped swaying. 

“Lance, you can spend the rest of your life giving her something good to remember. You owe her that much.” A darker part of Derek wanted Lance to know the pain that he inflicted upon you and your family, but the words he said now were true. The best thing Lance could do was try to redeem himself after everything he had done. 

“I...I… okay.” Lance seemed in a daze as he stepped off of the ledge. Prentiss cuffed him and the two led him back downstairs. 

Lance left the church first, making your heart sink. You almost didn’t recognize him. He was just a shell, nothing like the man you knew all those years ago. Maybe, one day, you would learn to feel sorry for him, but for now, as you watched him be loaded into the patrol car, you only felt relief. 

“Derek!” Angelica squealed, reaching out her arms. You whirled around and felt another sob escape your throat. 

The team watched Derek run to you, taking both you and Angelica in his arms. Prentiss finished getting Booker into the car and joined Hotchner, Reid, and Rossi. 

“That’s not something I thought I’d see.” She whispered with a smile. 

“Did you not think we’d get to the little girl on time?” Reid asked. 

“No,” She motioned to the trio in front of them. A family. “Derek falling in love.” The rest of the team smiled and separated into their designated vehicles. 

-

The crowd shouted and cheered as Angelica sprinted towards home plate. Visitors 3, Home team 6. You cheered louder than anyone. Well, maybe not anyone.

“That’s right! You can’t touch her!” Penelope screamed at the other team’s players. Everyone from the BAU had shown up. Over the past few months, you’d gotten to know all of them pretty well, even earning Penelope’s approval.  

“She’s good.” Emily smiled at you. You nodded. 

“She has a good coach.” You looked down at the dugout where Derek was waiting to give Angel a high-five. You must have caught his eye because he beamed up at you with that knockout smile. You grinned back. 

“You guys seem really happy.” J.J. mused, giving you a supportive smile. You nodded, keeping your eyes on Derek. 

“Yeah.” You waved down at him and your daughter as she came in for her victory. “We are.”

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks

Series: @ weasleytommy, @ lowsodiumfreaks67, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @ literallyprentissstwin, @ yallgotkik

[mypoisonedvine]

Dishonorable Discharge | dark!Bucky Barnes x sister!reader

please please please do not read or interact if this content would be triggering or upsetting for you in any way.  i do not condone the topics or behaviors that i write about.

summary: you and your brother were always thick as thieves, even if you weren’t technically related.  you weren’t ready for him to leave to go off to war, but you were even less prepared for the shell of him that would return.

warnings: noncon smut, sibling incest (I mean she’s adopted but still), breeding kink, innocence kink, loss of virginity, mention of hypothetical underage activity?? idk how to tag that but everyone in this story is 18+!

word count: 3.6k

tagging @lestersglitterglue​ cause they asked real nice!

Even though you were adopted, people always said that you and Bucky had a family resemblance.  It wasn't your respective appearances per se, but rather the way your eyes both sparkled.  Your parents sometimes joked that the two of you were more brother and sister than most brothers and sisters were— and they were right: even with the age gap, often the two of you felt like twins.  It was hard to imagine that your biological parents could've kept you and that you never would've known him... it felt like he had always been your brother, your best friend, your partner in crime; your Jamie.

You had been awful when he deployed.  You'd sobbed and screamed and beat his chest with your weak little fists.  You'd told him that if he left, you would hate him forever; that if he left, he might as well never come back.

Of course you regretted it once you got older and realized how stupid you were.  But you were only fifteen then, and heartbroken, and too selfish to understand that there were things more important than the promises you'd made to each other as children.  You were so afraid that he wouldn't come back and that you'd lose your only real friend in this world; and, like it often does, that fear turned to anger.  

By the time you were seventeen, you finally stopped crying and tried to make a life for yourself.  You tried to see it all as an opportunity: he'd always been the popular one, meaning you were stuck being known as "Bucky's little sister" rather than as your own person.  Now you could just be you for once— as soon as you figured out who you were without him.

By nineteen, you had lost hope that he would return.  You pretended to be at peace with that.  You pretended not to hate yourself for pushing him away when you needed each other most.  Silently, you thought of him every day; secretly, you went to church every night to pray for him.

It was the sort of neighborhood where you could leave your door unlocked, so you did.  Still, people usually knocked first.  You were wearing a nightgown you only wore around the house because it was much too short and small for you now, but with the hot weather, it was necessary.  You hadn’t expected to hear the door open, so as you nervously peered out from the hall to the foyer, you were beyond surprised at what you saw.

The man in the doorway… he looked familiar.  He was wearing your brother's uniform.  But his eyes were different.  That sparkle you shared was long gone.  And without it, you weren't sure he was your brother anymore.

"Jamie?" you asked, unable to believe what you were seeing.

Recognition crossed his face like he was hearing the name of someone he used to know.

"Jamie," you called again, your voice breaking as you ran to him; you wrapped your arms around his waist and held him tight enough to make up for all the lost time.  "I thought I'd lost you," you sobbed, "oh god, Jamie, I thought you were—"

"Shhhh," he soothed, finally reciprocating the hug as one hand stroked the back of your head.  

"Don't ever leave me again," you begged.  "I can't lose you again."

"I won't go," he promised softly.

And just like that, you were the same little girl who'd clung to his legs and begged him to stay all those years ago, but this time you'd gotten what you always dreamed of.  This time, he wasn’t going to leave.

“You still like your eggs basted?” you asked him with a toothy smile, doing your best to keep things light.  You had so many questions for him but you wanted him to just feel at home first.  You two had always told each other everything, so you figured it wouldn’t be long until he told you what he’d been through in the last several years.

When you turned to receive the answer to your question, though, you found him spaced out in his seat at the dining table, staring off into nothing.  You could tell he was thinking about something just from the way his eyes were glazed over; you could tell he was thinking about something unpleasant from the way his fist was tightened.

"Are you okay?" you asked gently.  Silence.

You left your place by the stove, crossing the kitchen and kneeling down so you were eye-level with him.  Hesitantly, you reached out to brush your hand against his face.  He was certainly older-looking, and stubble dusted his jaw where it met with where his hair had grown out.  You wondered if it was as strange for him to see you and how much you’d aged as it was for you to see him like this.

“Jamie,” you whispered, “come back to me.”

Finally, as your hand cupped his cheek, he turned to look at you.  Even with a face that was hard to recognize at times, the eyes that met yours were undoubtedly your brother’s.  Darker, yes, and clearly tired from everything they’d seen, but as blue and perfect as always.

"When you call me that,” he spoke, eyes scanning your face, “it's like no time has passed at all.  It's like I'm still the same boy I was the day I left."

You swallowed.  "But you aren't, are you?"

He shook his head, just barely.

“Hey, listen to me,” you instructed, getting more serious and refusing to let him break the eye contact.  “It doesn’t matter what you’ve seen, or what you’ve done.  You’re my brother.  You’re my best friend.  You’re my whole world—”

You choked up a little, but kept going.

“—and I’m glad you’re home, okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed, smiling that crooked smirk that made your heart melt every time.

“You still want those eggs?”

He nodded a little.

“Basted?”

“Yeah, basted,” he agreed, turning back to the table as you stood up and returned to the stove.

“Your room’s the same as it was when you left,” you told him as you cracked the first egg into the hot pan.  You were sort of nervous to bring up anything about that, but you thought he might find it comforting.

“I don’t think I’m ready to go in there yet,” he admitted.  

“Stay in my room tonight, then.  It’s almost the same as it was then, too…”

“I’m amazed that bed can still fit you; are you sure we’ll both be able to sleep on it?” he asked.

“Oh, I was gonna give you the bed and make myself a pallet on the floor!” you clarified, wondering how he ever thought the two of you could share a bed; you hadn’t since you were little little-- like, under ten-years-old little.

But when you turned to look at him again, he seemed genuinely disappointed.  "Of course I can't let you sleep on the floor.  You take the bed; I've got a lot of practice with sleeping on the ground anyhow."

That was the last thing you wanted, him reminded of what it was like out there.

"We'll share the bed," you announced.  "If I take off all the plushies and decorative pillows, there might just be room for you."

"Woah woah woah," Bucky raised his arms as if to motion for you to slow down.  "We can't just go evicting Mr. Hoppy!  He's been a full-time resident of your bed for the past twenty years!" 

You both laughed, and it was almost like old times.

"He'd happily move over for you, Jamie."

The two of you brushed your teeth side-by-side in silence; you waited for him to finish his shower while you turned down the sheets, scooping up everything decorative on the bed and tossing it into the chair in the corner.

You choked a little when he stepped into your room with only a towel around his waist, using another to rub his hair dry.

"Don't you have some pyjamas?" you asked awkwardly.  "No matter— I actually have some of the pants you used to wear right here."

You pulled the checkered pants from your closet, and handed them to him as he nodded gratefully; you barely turned around fast enough to look away before he dropped his towel.

"Why do you have these in here anyways?" he asked as you tried to ignore the sounds of the fabric brushing over his bare skin.

"I wear them, sometimes," you admitted, feeling your face get a little warm, "when I miss you."

"Well, I'm here now," he hummed, wrapping his arms around you from the back and pulling you into a hug.  You could feel the warmth of his chest and arms burning right through your silky shift.  You almost wished you had worn something thicker; and yet, somehow, you also wished that there was no fabric in the way at all.  

Slipping under the comforter together, you wondered if it was odd that he was cuddling up to you.  You didn't mind it, since it was the most like the brother you remembered that he'd been all day, but some part of you was worried what people would think if they knew.  

You brushed the thought aside.  Nobody would know anyways.  

He placed a kiss to the top of your head as you basked in how small it made you feel.  "You smell the same as before, sissy."

You used to hate that nickname but now it was beyond welcome.  It reminded you of simpler times.  

"I hope that's a good thing," you replied.

"It's a wonderful thing.  The day your handkerchief stopped smelling like you was the day I thought I would lose all hope," he recalled.

You remembered when he took it; he said he wanted something to remember you by, and you'd responded by telling him to just forget about you because obviously he never loved you at all.

"I was so cruel to you that day," you cringed.  "I hate myself so much for that..."

"Hey, hey," he got your attention with a soft plea, guiding your chin until you were looking up at him with watery eyes.  "You were a kid.  I was, too.  You acted out, it happens."

"But I said things that weren't true, Jamie— awful, terrible things…"

"I never believed them," he assured you with a smile.

"We promised to never lie to each other," you whimpered, "and I broke that promise."

He shook his head.  "It's all in the past now.  Just be honest with me from now on, and I'll keep every promise I made."

You remembered a pinky swear made up in the highest branches of a tree: a promise to never be apart.  He'd broken that one, but maybe he wouldn't do it again.  The thought made your heart flutter.

"Be honest," he instructed you again.  

"Always," you agreed.

"Do you love me?" he asked, so quiet it was barely a whisper.

"O-of course," you answered quickly, stuttering not because of any lack of surety but simply from wondering how he could ever question that.

Slowly, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, his thumb and forefinger still holding your chin.  For a brief moment it felt believable as a familial kiss.

But then it didn't.

He began to move his mouth against yours, and instantly you pulled back, looking at him with what you figured must have been an expression of stunned confusion.  "Jamie," you mumbled in disbelief.

"I missed you so much," he purred, seeming to ignore your reluctance.  "Don't break my heart, sissy, I just want a kiss."

"I can't kiss you like that," you shook your head.

"Please?  You have no idea how lonely I've been, how hard it was without you…"

You felt guilty for his pain, and you had always hated to deny him of anything.  The absolute second that you gave him a hesitant nod, he dove right back in, kissing you deeper and harder than before.  His tongue forced its way into your mouth but you couldn't pull back; his arm had somehow gotten to the back of your neck, holding you close to him.

You whimpered with confusion when you felt his other hand moving up your leg and slipping under your nightgown.  He smiled against your lips when his fingertips brushed over your hips and he realized that you weren't wearing undergarments.  You internally cursed yourself for it, even though it was normal not to wear anything underneath a gown like this.  What was abnormal was what he was doing.

"You're so smooth, and soft," he murmured, just barely pulling back from the kiss, "and I know you want me so bad—"

Just as his hand started to move dangerously close to somewhere it was definitely not supposed to be, you reached down and stopped him by grabbing his forearm.  

"D-don't," you managed to stammer out.

"Don't?" he repeated incredulously.  "Well, why not?"

"It's wrong…" you explained weakly.

"Such a good little girl, just like always," he chuckled. "You haven't changed at all.  Except, of course, this incredible body…"

It was much too easy for him to wriggle out of your grip, pulling out from your nightgown only to reach up and roughly grab your breasts through it.  Your face was burning and your gut sank with fear— and yet, there was a paradoxical tingle of arousal burning between your legs.

"You've grown a lot while I was gone," Bucky noticed aloud, groaning softly as he felt you up.  "Almost didn't recognize you when I stepped in.  I saw those gorgeous legs of yours and thought, 'who's the fox and what's she doing in my house?'  Of course, by the time I'd realized it was my kid sister, it was too late."

"It's not too late," you desperately assured, "you can stop now, and we won't tell anybody, and it'll be like nothing ever happened—"

You stopped as he started laughing lowly, shaking his head.  "Sweetheart, I'm not coming back from this, don't you understand?  You were all I thought about while I was gone.  You're the only girl I ever loved."

His hips pressed forward and you gasped when you felt his erection pressing into your thigh.  You bit down on your lip to keep it from quivering; for some reason, you didn't want him to know how scared you were.

"Feel that?" he asked, grinning when you nodded nervously.  "That's how much I love you."

You stammered helplessly as he reached down between your legs again.  

"Time to find out how much you love me," he purred, and you were frozen; paralyzed.  Two of his thick fingers swiped through your folds, gathering the arousal they found there.  "Oh, you love me quite a lot."

"I— I don't—"

"Take this thing off," he demanded suddenly, grabbing your nightgown.  You shook your head.  "I'm not gonna ask you again," he informed you sternly.  "Take it off or I'm gonna rip it off'a you."

You shook your head again, tears flowing freely until you felt wet patches beside your face on your pillow.

Bucky growled and manhandled you onto your back, grabbing at your nightgown and pushing your arms out of the way when they reached up to cover your chest.

He tore through it like it was paper.  "Look at you," he murmured in awe, "all grown up."

"James," you sobbed, "what are you doing?!"

"I'm taking care of you!" he responded, seemingly confused that you would even ask that.  "You're my baby sister; I promised to always take care of you and I meant it."

"This isn't right," you whispered, partially to him but mostly to yourself.

"This is the only thing that's right," Bucky disagreed, leaning down a little to hover over you as he began to push his pants down.

You recoiled when you saw his cock; you hadn't seen one before, except in drawings.  They hadn’t prepared you for this.  His looked big, red at the tip like it was angry; leaking and throbbing like it was desperate.

"You a virgin, sissy?" he asked in a way that made it hard to tell if he was being genuine or mocking you.

You nodded; you'd promised to be honest, after all.

"You were saving yourself for me," he informed you, and before you could deny it, he continued, saying everything like it was obvious fact.  "You knew you needed me. You knew you'd only be satisfied by your big brother's cock."

You shook your head as tears welled in your eyes, your protests muffled as he roughly kissed you again.  You tried to push him away but he was like marble, hard and unyielding.  You felt his sex sliding over yours and it made you feel dizzy and a little nauseous.

"You know how long I've dreamed of being inside you?" he asked darkly, his lips brushing against your ear.  "You know how long I've wanted to get a taste of this perfect little cunt?  I'll give you a hint: it was before I left."

He ignored your sobs of fear and cries of pain, and pushed his hips forward; he groaned as his cock forced your walls to part, and you felt like the wind had been knocked out of you.

"Oh god," he moaned weakly when he bottomed out, "oh my fucking god… you feel so perfect, sissy.  You feel so fucking good, I swear I could come right now.  I could fill you up—" he pulled back out most of the way and shuddered— "right fucking now."

"N-no, Jamie," you sobbed, "you have to pull out, you can't come inside!"

"Why not?" he pouted, slamming into you so hard that you were forced to choke out your cry of pain.  "I think you want it.  I think I deserve it.  I could get you pregnant and then you'd be mine forever."

"No!" you sobbed.  "Please, you can't!"

"I can," he assured you coldly through his teeth, his arm wrapping around your neck to hold you steady as he fucked into you.  "I can, little girl, and I'm gonna."

Tears streamed down your face, even as you let yourself admit that your brother's movements inside you did feel… intriguing, to say the least.  He buried his face into your neck, fucking you deep but slow.  You'd never felt so full before; you wrapped your legs around his hips before you could stop yourself.

"Fuck," he groaned, "you want me so damn bad, don't you?  You always wanted me.  I remember how you got so jealous when I lost it to Betsy Miller."

As sick as it was, you had; and even now, imagining him doing this with her made your stomach twist.

"You want me all to yourself, don't you, sissy?"

Shamefully, you nodded.

"Aw, it's okay," he soothed.  "You've got me, sis.  'M never gonna leave ya.  We're gonna be together forever, just like we always said."

That was all you'd ever wanted.  Why did it sound so terrifying now?

"I can feel you squeezin' me, babydoll.  I know you wanna come all over my cock," he taunted.

"N-no," you stumbled over your denial, but pleasure was searing through you faster than you could handle it.

"Beg me to fill up this little pussy," he instructed as his eyes got darker and a hand wrapped around your throat.  "Beg or you don't get to breathe."

"Please," you moaned through your tears, "please, fill up my— my little pussy…"

"Yeah?  You want my come?"

He started thrusting faster and you could feel the way your arousal had spread to coat both his thighs and yours; why was your body so responsive?

"Please, Jamie, I want your come," you repeated.  "I need it…"

"I know you do," he snarled, looking down at you with half-lidded eyes.  "I know you do, baby, I know you need my come."

"Please…" you repeated one last time, the word coming out choked and weak as you felt your own orgasm starting to crash into you, your whole body tightening involuntarily.

"Fuck, I can feel you coming— 'm close, sissy, I'm not gonna last much— oh fuck—!"

His hips stuttered to a stop and you winced as you felt him flexing inside you, pumping his load into you for what felt like ages.

He collapsed on top of you with a sigh and a smile.  "I wanted to last longer, even jerked off in the shower to try to take the edge off but… you just felt too good."

You were silent and still beneath him as he rambled, kissing away your tears between each word.

"I'll take better care of you next time, sis, don't worry.  Wanna make you come with just my tongue," he announced excitedly.  "But that'll wait until tomorrow.  Tonight you just relax, and don't move too much so I can stay inside you.  It's the only way I'm gonna be able to sleep."

He hugged you all night, drifting off even while you were wide awake and staring at the ceiling.

You were horrified at what your brother had become, and at what he had done to you.  But that wasn't what kept you awake.  No, you couldn't sleep because you were too busy trying to deny how much you had enjoyed it.

[libraryofloveletters]

Misplaced Promises

Eddie Diaz x Sister!Reader

Warnings: sibling arguing, general protectiveness, a few swear words and that’s it I think ? 

Category: angst/fluff

Word Count: 3.6k

Author’s Note: This one mostly focuses how Eddie tries his best to keep promises he makes and be a good brother but he keeps fucking up. I also tried my best for this to follow a timeline and make it make sense with canon but idk, I made shit up go with it. // 

---- 

14 years old // 19 years old. 

The 2 of you were 5 years apart but you were attached at the hip. Eddie was your big brother, the guy you looked up to the most, the person you went to when you didn’t know what to do. You had 2 sisters but what you and Eddie had was different. Sophia and Adriana were the two older ones, they stuck together and they included you but it wasn't the same. 

The day before Eddie announced that he enlisted, he had been quiet, shifty and weird all day. He avoided you at all costs. You needed him to look over a project for you - seeing that you ended up with the same English teacher he had in high school but he kept coming up with excuses as to why he couldn't help you. 

“Running to the store to pick up something for mom, I'll check when I get back” 

“Going to play some ball with the guys, remind me when I get back” 

“Gonna shower, I'll do it after” 

“Let me go see Shan for a bit, I'll check it when I come home” 

Excuse after excuse, he was up to something and knew you would be able to tell so he ignored you at all costs. The next morning at breakfast, he announced that he was enlisting, Shannon was at breakfast too and she didn’t seem shocked at all. 

Your father asked him why, your mother began crying and your sisters wished him good luck and hoped that he would be safe. You on the other hand, had your eyes glued to Shannon. 

“You knew?” your question directed straight at her. 

She nodded, “he told me last night” 

“Huh,” you scoff, getting up. “you told her before you told us ?” looking towards your brother. 

“y/n, don’t” his look pleading you not to start and you didn’t, simply walking away and going to your bedroom. You can hear bits of the conversation from your room, Eddie telling your parents that he’s only going to do one tour just until he finds what he really wants to do. 

It was a while before someone came looking for you and no surprise, it was Eddie. 

“Can I check the paper for you now?” he sticks his head in from the doorway, waiting for your answer- his way of hoping that you’d talk to him. 

“Sure” nodding toward the computer on the desk. Eddie made himself comfortable in the chair and began going over the paper. The keyboard clicking as he edited the paper and your sighing were the only sounds to be heard. 

Everyone had been dealing with the news differently. Your father had turned to whatever project he was building in the backyard, your mother had stepped out- probably to go to the store to get stuff to make one last proper meal for him before he left and your sisters seemed to be handling it well, you could hear them bickering in the hallway over who would get his room as they passed by. 

It’s not that they didn’t love him, they just had a different version of the world and of love. 

The whole family did.  

Sophia and Adriana were the first two, all the love and support of your parents was what they basked in. 

Eddie was the only boy, automatically gaining him an in as a mama’s boy and his father’s only son, someone to show off- he was their pride and joy. 

That left you, not that they loved you any less because they ‘love all their children the same’ but you never got the parental love and affection that your siblings did. Your parents were busy working and now that you were in high school and capable of looking after yourself, you saw them even less. Eddie had always been there, at the recitals, school concerts, whenever you learnt a new trick and was looking for someone to show, he was there. 

In some way, Eddie raised you more than your parents did. 

That’s why you couldn’t wrap your head around it. 

“Couldn't just find a job here like every other lost kid after high school ? You had to go sign up to get yourself killed?” sitting up, you look towards him. 

Eddie sighed, leaning back into the chair and looking at you. He looked sad, almost hurt. “I didn’t ‘sign up to get myself killed’” he tells you, “I can’t sit around watching Soph and Adriana get their lives together meanwhile I'm still living with mom and dad and I have no idea what to do” 

“So what? you take a little longer to get your life together, that’s not the end of the world.” 

“I’m supposed to know what I want to do, I've been out of high school for a year and a half. Most people have already moved out of their parents’ houses” 

“God you’re so stupid” you groan, falling back onto the bed.

“Excuse me?” he looks at you, obviously offended. You get up off the end, pacing the room for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts. 

“Just because you’re lost doesn't mean you sign up for the fricking army! Eddie, you could die” your voice breaks at the end of the sentence. Then and only then did Eddie really see how upset you were, you really thought he could die- yes there was that possibility but he knew that when he signed up. He gets up off the chair, you were now facing the window, not wanting him to see the tears that were forming. His hand resting gently on your shoulder. 

“I’m not gonna die” he whispers, pulling your shoulder towards him which caused you to turn. “You better not, I'll kill you” 

“But I'll be de-” “shut up” you give him a look, he chuckles and pulls you in for a hug. “I promise I'll come home, who else is going to keep you in check?” he teased which earned him a smack to the side, “more like who’s gonna keep you in check” you rebutted, a smile on your face now. Eddie kissed the top of your head, his cheek now resting atop of head - abuela’s words ringing in his head. 

“Don’t make promises you can't keep Edmundo” 

She had scolded him for promising to give his sister her candy back after he knew he was going to eat it (and he did, but that’s besides the point) 

He promised to come home but he didn’t know if he would. 

--

17 years old // 22 years old 

“We’re having a baby!” Eddie’s arm around Shannon as they announce the second piece of exciting news for that evening to the family.

Eddie had finally returned from his first tour with the announcement that he and Shannon were getting married all while they were expecting as well. Your parents were the first up to go congratulate the love birds, your sisters are next and you follow last. Hugging Shannon who was already beaming with happiness and then your brother who hugs you for a second longer than needed, whispering that he wants to talk to you afterwards. Humming, you step back and go to help your mother set up for dinner. 

The rest of the evening is spent talking about when the baby is arriving, the plans for the wedding and whatever other exciting things are happening for them at that moment. You tuned out about halfway through the conversation, only replying with the simplest answers to make it seem like you were actually listening. 

Your sisters, mother and Shannon were in the kitchen all gossiping and making plans for the wedding. A big church wedding, ‘do it right’ as your mother would say because ‘if you do it right the first time, you don’t need to do it again.’

The whole big wedding thing was a scam- a pile of bullshit that you wanted no part of. Don’t let that fool you, you were beyond happy for your brother, becoming a husband and a father- those were things the two of you used to joke about, thinking that it was such a long time from then yet here you are. 

The door slammed as it shut, Eddie sitting beside you on the porch. He set a bottle on the step beside you. You glance at the bottle and then at him, brows furrowed. 

“Thought you could use a drink after all the exciting news” he hums, taking a sip out of his own bottle. 

You let out a dry chuckle, taking a sip yourself. “Yeah, congrats dude. Husband and baby daddy in one go ? You got the guys around here beat” jokingly nudging him with your shoulder. Eddie laughs, “yeah.” the word kind of trailed off, there was more to the answer than he was letting on. 

“What's wrong ?” 

“Are you really happy for me ?” he turns to you, “I know you weren't exactly happy when I left, especially that I told Shannon first. I just.. you’re my little sister and it means so much that you’re on board with everything-” your hand rests on his. 

“You always were kind of an idiot huh?” you pat his hand, Eddie looking clearly offended again. “Of course I'm happy for you. You’re my brother and no matter how much we fight, there’s no way I wouldn't be there for you. Eddie, you’re going to be an amazing dad, you know that right ?” 

“Yeah ? You think so ?” 

“Mhm hm, know how I know?” 

“Do tell” 

“Because you raised me and I turned out just fine” you smiled and so did Eddie, shaking his head. 

--

23 years old // 28 years old 

Eddie’s place was covered in boxes, the fight with your parents was the last button to be pushed. He packed up the remnants of his life in El Paso and was on his way out to the door.  

Christopher was sitting on the couch, his favourite show on tv as you were packing up the last of the dishes in the kitchen. Eddie had just stepped back in after taking some boxes out to the truck. You leant against the counter, looking at him. He knew you weren't the biggest fan of his plan but you supported him nonetheless because that’s what siblings do. 

“What? Why do you keep staring ?” he snapped. 

“Jesus, who pissed in your coffee?” rolling your eyes at your brother.  

“Sorry, I'm just ready to get out of here” he tosses a few things into a box. There had been unspoken words between the two of you since he mentioned that he wanted to move. You didn’t say anything, just listened and helped pack boxes but all of that stops now. 

“Are you sure this is the smartest thing?” 

“What do you mean?” he stops what he was doing and turns his attention to you. 

“I know mom and dad were in the wrong for asking- telling you that Chris should move in with them, that’s bullshit. He’s not their kid, he’s your kid but why are you running Eddie ? You have family there besides them, Sophia and Adriana and me. I’m here Eddie, I've always been here, helping you with Chris since Shannon left.” 

“That’s exactly the point, Shannon left. She upped and left us y/n, left me to raise Chris by myself.” 

“So did you.” you tell him what you had been waiting to tell him since Christoper was a baby. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” the anger visible on his face. 

“You left. You upped and left Shannon when she needed you the most, she needed a partner that was here and not thousands of miles away. She just had a baby- your baby and you left her to go to the fucking desert! you risked your life for what ?! you had a family Eddie! You promised just one tour but you just had to go back, you had a family that needed you!” 

“Exactly! I had a family that needed me! That’s why I left, I had to provide for them.” 

“Don’t give me that shit. You wanna know why mom and dad walk all over you when it comes to raising Chris ? Because you left! You fucking left when the mother of your child, your wife and your child needed you! He needed a father and you left Eddie! Do you know what that does to a child?!” 

“Don’t tell me how to raise my child and you sure as hell don't get a say in where my marriage went wrong!” the two of you stood in the kitchen shouting at each other. 

The things you said were nothing but what you felt was the truth - he did leave Shannon after she had Chris, when she needed him to be there. You weren't siding with her but you weren't picking up for him either- someone had to let him straight and your parents would never dare say the things you would say to him. Although they didn’t like his approach to raising Christoper, they would never say that because Eddie was their son. They much rather half ass suggest things and beat around the bush than tell Eddie straight what they felt. 

The rest of the night was quiet, nothing left to be said between the two of you. Tucking Chris into bed one last time before they leave, you spend the night because you promised Chris you’d be there when they left. 

The morning comes and Eddie is quiet, no surprise there. Chris is attached to your hip and the 2 of you stood outside the house, saying goodbye. You crouch down in front of your nephew, “will you come visit?” he asks you sweetly, your heart breaks a little knowing that you won’t be visiting anytime soon but you put on a smile for him. “Of course, only if we stay up late and eat all the candy we can find” you tickle his side, earning a full belly laugh- your favourite sound. 

“I love you always, you know that right ?” you look up at the little boy who's nodding. “I love you” he smiles, his finger tapping your nose, yours comes up to mirror his action. 

“Okay, give me a big hug and you be good for your dad, he’s a good guy. He just bugs out sometimes” you hug Christoper, his arms wrapped around your neck as you pick him up, carrying him to the trunk. 

Eddie comes out just as you’re putting Chris in. He hands you the keys to the house as he checks to make sure Chris is buckled in properly. 

The two of you standing there awkwardly before Eddie mumbles bye and walks around the truck. Stepping back, you watch as they pull you, Christoper waving to you from the window. 

--

25 years old // 30 years old

El Paso had treated you well, growing up there and going to school but you needed a change now. Applying to teaching jobs all over the country, you hear back from two- one is Minnesota and one in LA but you couldn't handle the cold so LA it was. 

The staff at the school were sweet and welcoming, you had arrived just in time for the new school year. The woman at the front desk was asking you some standard questions when she came across your name on the form.

“Miss, is it l/n or Diaz for your last name ? You have both listed here” she looks to you for an answer. You stared at the paper in front of you- l/n was your mother’s last name and Diaz was your father’s. All your legal documents had Diaz on it but you weren’t sure if you wanted to go by it or not, maybe make something for yourself with the Diaz family name attached to you.

“Miss ?” She asked again, looking at you.

“Diaz. Y/n Diaz is fine” 

Classes start and you’re getting settled in nicely, there’s still some shuffling around in terms of students and you get a finalized class list at the end of the week. Not really looking over it, you set it on the desk until the next morning when you say hello to your new class.

You begin writing your name on the board as the children set in.  

Ms. Diaz in big bold letters. 

“Hey! We have the same last name!” a little boy calls out- voice almost identical to your Chris’ voice. 

Turning, there he was sitting n the middle of the class, your nephew Christopher - except no one knows he’s your nephew nor did he seem to remember that you were his aunt. 5 years without a phone call or a visit is a long time, you wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't remember you and he doesn’t. You treat him as you would treat the rest of your students. 

The end of the day rolls around, Chris is the last student waiting with you. It was getting a bit chilly so the two of you headed into the classroom. Christoper tells you about his dad- unknowing to him that Eddie is your brother and talks about how he’s a firefighter and all the cool things he got to do when he visited the station. 

A blonde man, tall and built in stature comes running into your classroom. “Chris! Buddy!” he heads over to the boy, giving him a hug. “Buck!” the boy smiles, returning the gesture. It was obvious that he knew Chris, the man noticed you watching them. 

“Hi, I'm Ms. Diaz, y/n. Christopher’s teacher” you introduce yourself. The man smiles, “I'm Buck, I work with Christopher’s dad” 

“He sent you to pick up Chris ?” 

“Oh no, he's parking, I just came in to find him because we didn’t see anyone outside. Sorry about that, work ran late” he apologizes. 

“No worries, Chris is a great kid. oh buddy, I was supposed to give you a sticker for your work today hold on” you leave Chris and Buck by the door as you go back to your desk, looking for a sticker sheet. When you returned, Eddie was there with Buck, both men had their backs turned to you. 

“Yeah! She has the same last name as us dad, there is she” the boy smiled, waving at you. “Ms. Diaz!” he shouts as you make your way over. You don't look at the men instead you step past them, crouching down in front of Chris showing him the sticker sheet. 

“Which one would you like?” showing him the sheet, Christopher picks out a little green star with a smiley face on it. Peeling it from the sheet, you stick it on his shirt. 

“Can dad and Buck have matching ones too ?” he asks sweetly and who were you to turn down such a cute face.

“Of course,” smiling at him, you stand and turn to Buck. “Can I ?” he nods, watching as you repeat the process and stick the green star to his shirt. 

When it comes Eddie’s turn, you can feel Buck’s eyes on you and you see him move to Eddie as well. As for Eddie himself, his eyes were wide, he hadn't spoken to you in almost 5 years and his parents refused to tell him anything other than ‘she’s fine’ when he asked. You didn’t ask him, you just stuck the sticker on him, on his forehead to be exact. 

Eddie pulled you in for a hug, a well needed yet weird one. Buck and Chris are whispering behind the two of you. 

“I’m sorry” Eddie whispers, his arms still around you. 

“I’m the one that said all that shit” you tell him, he shakes his head and lets you go. 

“You were right. I’m sorry. I know sorry isn't going to fix it but you’re here and I- I just wanna fix things. I miss my sister and I know Chris misses his aunt” 

“Yeah, you’re an ass but you’re still my brother. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try” 

Buck goes “oh” behind you, you’re now standing beside Eddie- arms folded and brows furrowed, the same expression on both of you. 

“Yeah, I see it now” Buck mumbles, “I’m starving, what’s for dinner ?” he asks, him and Chris walking towards the door together.

 You and Eddie follow them out, “why don't you join us for dinner ?” Eddie turns to you, you give him a look. “I can’t crash your time with your boyfriend, y��all are probably-” “my what ?” once again, Eddie had a stupid look on his face. 

“So you’re telling me that wonderful human ball of joy isn't your boyfriend ?” looking at your brother, the stupid look still on his face. 

“No, why would you think that ?” hearing the genuine confusion in his voice, you laugh. 

“No reason, but if you’re not gonna date him, I might.” Giving your brother a smile, his head tilts and a look you know all too well on his face. 

“Don’t” his finger pointed at you, you were now biting back a laugh. 

“Hey Buck!” you shout, running towards him, Eddie running behind you and shouting for you to stop. 

Things were going to fall back into place pretty easily. 

-----

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover​ @beth-winchester21​ @fernandaweasley2​ @yikesyikesyikes95​ @hotchsdarling​ @duhbar1975​@hailsstormthings @averyhotchner​ @captainxholmes​ 

[wolfstarlibrarian]

Welcome to the fifth installment of Beyond The Shelves!

This month’s creator spotlight is on the truly unique and amazing @mlim8. Mel has brought new life into fandom with her stunning art and comics that can make you laugh and cry. She's also the artist behind the Padfoot you can pet on the Librarian's home page (desktop) and the Moony gif on the Help Desk page. Now let's get to know this incredible artist!

Name: Mel is fine :D (she/her)

Where can people find your art?/Support you?

I'm only on Tumblr! @mlim8 (I tried getting a Twitter but I got confused so it's an account in limbo~). My Wolfstar/HP Masterlist is here (links only work on mobile)

What's your favorite thing about Remus & Sirius?

I'm a biggggg sucker for the 'childhood friends' trope. As well as pairings that scream mutual pining, but on the other hand, can be pure fluff. I like pairings where the couple can play off each other, can support each other, who might not always see eye-to-eye but have also been with the other for so long now, they know what they’re doing to make sure they still work, because in the end, they LOVE EACH OTHER. Somehow, Remus and Sirius can tick off all these different boxes and I love them for it uwu And then, there’s also just so much mystery about them in the books and therefore, so much freedom to interpret them, given how little we actually have to go on - it’s so cool to see them in an assortment of AUs, tropes, canon, non-canon fics and see them fall in love over and over and over again… So ultimately? I guess my favourite thing is that it’s so damn obvious how in love they are with one another that the Wolfstar fandom is as big as it is :)

What do you think your signature style is?

I think I’m known for fanfic comics, cute fluff, and my chibi style. You will also see a blush on my characters’ cheeks like 98.9% of the time. I can’t help it… it belongs there lol

What inspires you?

Fanfics, usually. I actually came back to drawing on tumblr because of some beautiful fanfics that I couldn’t get out of my head and needed to draw them. Afterward, it would be songs, videos, memes, conversations with friends, posts from friends, etc - it’s not difficult to take something and go “Do it again, but as Wolfstar.”

What advice would you give new artists?

I guess some obvious ones would be to practice, practice, practice. Use references and 3D models, they help so damn much. Video tutorials and other art tutorials are there to help you make things easier, there really is an endless pit of things to learn and techniques to master. Some other things that people might forget: drink water, do stretches for your wrists and neck, get up once in a while to get blood flow in your legs. But most importantly, even if you want to practice a lot, don’t forget to TAKE. BREAKS. Your body and mind will thank you.

You also don’t need anything super fancy to draw: traditional art is just as valid as any digital art (more so because you don’t have a CTRL+Z function and it drives me insane, so power to you!!). Cheaper $50 art tablets can do what you need them to, as long as you know how to use it. With art programs, there are tons of free ones that you can get your feet wet before committing to any expensive programs (I’ve used Paint Tool SAI for years in the past and I know artists that use FireAlpaca and GIMP with amazing results as well :D)

Lastly, and this is gonna be a hard one: Don’t compare yourself (or your progress) to other artists. People take years (decades??) to make art that they love and develop a style/technique that they’re proud of and it’s not worth the stress. You’re only in a competition with yourself and that’s challenging enough already!

What do you use to create your art?

I use a Wacom Bamboo Fun Pen & Touch - it was a birthday gift from waaaay back that I’ve had for a decade now :’)

For art programs, I’ve been using Clip Studio Paint for about 8 months now and I use Photoshop for stitching larger GIFs together uwu

What's a favorite piece you made and why?

Oh my God, how to decide… there’s been a ton that I’ve been proud of but my favourite (spelling with a u because I’m Canadian, eh) would be the recent Candy Heart Post I did a couple weeks back now. Just a lot of love and effort went into it, not just the art itself but trimming the song, all the editing and timing of each frame. I wanted so hard to tell a story and I think it came out the way I wanted it to :)

Pick one of your own pieces/AUs and give readers a little note about it. What inspired it? Why is it a favorite?

Okay, so this is probably an obvious one for those that have been on my blog for the last few months - but I have an AU called ‘Rembus and Hunter AU’ that is about an incubus demon, Remus, and a Demon Hunter, Sirius. The demon, affectionately called Rembus, is surprisingly sweet and adorable. In short: HE IS BABY. And when Hunter comes to the Village of Gryffindor to get rid of him, he learns that there’s more to demons than he’s known through the church and his family.

It’s just a really stupidly cute AU, despite the premise, and I’m so excited to share their story with everyone (one day, haha I’m a slow artist -)! Here’s Part 0 (the info card), if anyone is interested :)

It was created when I came upon an outfit ( similar to what Rembus wears) and thought “Okay, but Incubus!Remus.” - and that’s it. That’s usually how my AUs come about. The smallest inspiration and I spiral out of control with a backstory. This AU was fleshed out a lot with the help of Whippy, who was great to bounce all these ridiculous ideas off of lol

Make sure to check back later today for a list of works and recs from Mel herself!

[noro-noro-noro]

dream summary: i invited a guy to my friend’s bday party, & it was going well until he took a powerup that made him lose control of his body & then he killed himself

dreamed that I invited a friend of mine to a different friend's birthday party & it was pretty normal. he got along with everyone else (incidentally all the party guests were people I knew, but the birthday girl had no clue who they were! she was ok with it though for the most part!! we bantered a bit & hung out. he complimented the front of my mom's house, which now looked like a church, & then we went up inside to the third floor. there were some strangers in the attic room that we didn't acknowledge as we were playing games.

party games included shit based on fall guys, & some kind of terraria thing where you eat the fruit & it gives you powerups like Mario & then you can go do like an obstacle course telephone game. we successfully did the like....vocal obstacle course game!! it was super fun!!

but then unfortunately his world lagged as he was picking up a powerups & it stacked this thing called like rainbow dance mushroom like 7 times on him & he was moving so fast uncontrollably & couldn't stop. it was making him really nauseous & it was scaring him to not be able to control his own body to the point where he started crying & also started bleeding from how his skin was twisting around. I rushed over & closed his game so it wouldn't continue stacking in case of more lag, & he said "I'm gonna throw up" & managed to get to the window. it was messy & ugly. the game menu had pixelated puke on it after that, which now that I think about it was hilarious. you puke in real life you puke in game. 

anyway tried to reach out for him to reassure him the effects would wear off in like 30 seconds without shit stacking further but he slapped my hands away (somehow I knew this was intentional despite the fact his movements were uncontrollable. his arms and legs & neck moved but the rest of his body he still could use I think? idk) & then hit me in the face hard enough to bust my lip hardcore. the amount of blood coming out was like a cartoon. it was really hot, & kind of like....thick? I guess? a little more like gravy and less like water. it had some.sirface tension to it. hehe blood is thicker than water hehe anyway I cupped one hand against my mouth to try and stop all the blood from going in my mouth while i was talking, and there was so much of it. I kept trying to reassure him it would end soon, I promise, but he was like "I can't take it anymore" over & oer again while crying & bleeding & then before I could do anything he was next to the window again and he jumped out. I screamed and ran to the window but my alarm went off & I was like :-| & spent 10 minutes typing this up instead.

by the way my neck and jaw still hurt. I asked my dad about it but he doesn't know. I'm gonna stay home today in case it's something weird

[jjmaybanksbaby]

Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)

Summer IV

Part 07: Crashing Down

series masterlist | previous part

summary: A jarring family emergency forces you to consider the future of your relationship with Rafe Cameron.

a/n: I'm a little bit emotional about this series ending because I've had so much fun writing it! Enjoy the last part and, as always, please come share your reactions with me in my inbox. Okay, that's all from me!

word count: 2.1k words

Rafe Cameron knew how to text. He was somehow witty, charming, and hilarious all in less characters than a single tweet. Texting with most boys was like talking to a brick wall: single-syllable answers, unironic uses of punctuation, asking “What are you wearing?” before even listening to how your day went. Though, to be fair, Rafe had asked that same question a few times, which always earned him a sarcastic answer in return. Well, except for that one time.

You’d been forced to spill the beans about your dreamy summer romance to Alice and Kensie after one of Rafe’s funnier texts almost made you pee yourself laughing at the lunch table.

“Oh, so he’s a stud muffin,” Alice announced, peering over Kenzie’s shoulder at the photo on your phone.

“Please god don’t call anyone a stud muffin ever again Al,” Kenzie replied.

“What? The 80s are like making a comeback.”

“Yeah, not that,” you countered and Alice huffed.

“He’s totally hot though,” Kenzie said, handing the phone back to you. “And I kinda hate you for not telling us about him.”

You looked down at the picture. Rafe was kissing your check while you grinned up at the camera, the golden hour lighting made the whole thing look rather enchanting. It was your favorite picture of you and him.

“Oh shit,” Kenzie said causing you to look up from the phone. “You’re like in love in love with him.”

“What? No,” you protested. Yes, your brain corrected.

Kenzie glanced over at Alice for backup.

“Besides, I wasn’t hiding him. I just didn’t know if there was anything there to...tell,” you finished.

“I wish I had a handsome summer fling with spectacular cheekbones,” Alice sighed.

“Don’t let your boyfriend hear you saying that.” Kenzie chucked a fry off her tray at Alice who dodged it expertly.

“Oh, please. Matty knows I would dump his ass for someone who looks like a young Chuck Bass any day of the week. Gimme your phone. I wanna see the photos again y/n.”

“I seriously don’t know how you and Matthew have been together for two years,” Kenzie replied.

“Are you kidding? They’re practically made for each other,” you added.

“The phone, please,” Alice interjected. “I wanna thirst over your mans while my boyfriend is sucking up to his English teacher so she doesn’t fail him. Of course, I told him he needed to actually read Wuthering Heights and not just sparknotes it. But did he listen? No. I picked a real winner y’all,” she finished, taking the phone from your outstretched hands. “You sure Rafe doesn’t have any brothers? Not even like a half-step brother?”

So yeah, going great. Against the odds of three thousand miles, the whole thing was somehow working. Long-distance friends with benefits? Check. Well, except for those moments when that nagging feeling in your stomach came back and you’d start overthinking everything. His texts would sit, unread in your phone for days or even a whole week, slowly sinking to the bottom of your messages.

Then came the call from the Kildare Country Hospital in the early hours of a foggy April morning. You should have gone to sleep hours ago but were still up, desperately trying to cram Maria’s lines into your brain while also texting Rafe. The Sound of Music opened in three weeks and your director had already chewed you out twice for not being off-book, something about being an upperclassman and the lead, and what kind of an example were you setting for the rest of the program. Big speeches were kind of your director's thing, you learned to just ride them out.

Around 1 a.m. your phone ran with an incoming FaceTime call from Rafe. You pressed the green acccept button, a smile spread across your face as Rafe’s own filled the screen.

“Hey Broadway Star.”

“Hi Rafe.” The dim lighting of his bedroom made his feature especially striking. “What are you still doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. Plus you’re up too so. How’s the memorizing going?”

“Shitty,” you replied, closing your binder with a sigh. “I’m too tired to do anymore of it tonight anyway.”

“You know, I was thinking I could come to Oregon for your opening night?”

“Really?” The possibility of Rafe sitting in the audience made your heart race.

“Yeah, why not? I’ll ask Ward if I can borrow the plane that weekend and I bet Sarah’ll want to come too. I wanna see my girl kill it. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Rafe. You know my friends think you’re hot.”

“Oh, do they?” Rafe replied, rolling over onto his back in his bed.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Cameron.”

The home phone ran but you ignored it, much more invested in your conversation with Rafe. The second time the hospital left a message. Your Nonna’s heart had given out. The prognosis wasn’t good. She had barely any time left.

Your heart dropped as the words echoed over the speaker of the answering machine.

“Rafe,” you said, cutting him off momentarily. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back later. I gotta-” you ended the call before Rafe even had the chance to respond. You dropped your phone on the kitchen table, dashing up the stairs to your parents’ bedroom. Your father was booking a flight for your mother back to the Outer Banks minutes later.

The end had come so quickly, so unexpectedly. It was almost like that made it harder. There'd been just enough time for your mom and uncle to get to the Outer Banks, sitting on each side of your Nonna as her final breaths passed through her lungs. Now, everyone was there to say goodbye one last time. Uncle Austin and his fiancé. Your mom and dad. Both your siblings. The entire population of Figure Eight.

☼☼☼

Rain drizzled down from the dark, gray clouds looming overhead. It was as if Mother Nature was mourning your Nonna too, hiding the sunshine away.

Three baby ducks followed their mama into the man-made pond at the edge of the cemetery. You watched their tiny feet kick up small waves disturbing the peaceful water and the tears silently slipped down your face.

The cars were waiting to take you back to your Nonna's house for the wake. The same house with the for-sale sign now stuck in the front yard. The for-sale sign with Rose's patronizing grin that you were starting to really hate. Your dad had handled that. Listing the house. He'd handled most of the funeral arrangement's actually because your mother had been too sunken into her grief to make any decision. Sending out the invitations, picking out your Nonna's casket, choosing the flowers. Your mother clung to him during the entire funeral, weeping into his shoulder.

“Y/n?” Rafe's voice called out from behind you and you turned to see him walked toward you. He’d stood at the back of the church with his family during the funeral. You had longed for him to be sitting in the first pew next to you, to have had his hand to hold onto to ground you, but it hardly would have been appropriate. Your Nonna would have sooner risen from the dead than have had a Cameron front row at her funeral.

As soon as he was close enough, Rafe reached for you, pulling your body tight into him. Your head landed on his chest and the sobs came moments later. God, he always smelled the same. He just let you cry, holding you close, smoothing his hand over your hair.

“I know you’re selling your grandma’s house but I was thinking you could stay with me for the summer," he said as your tears began to slow. It was hard to imagine that you wouldn't return to the Outer Banks once school let out. It was the first week of May already and you could feel the tourist-attracting town waking up. But selling the house just made more sense. Your older sister was already living her life in New York, a real adult life. Next summer, you'd be moving out too, headed to college. The house would sit empty for eight months out of the year, your family couldn't keep it and your uncle certainly didn’t want it. Selling it just had to happen.

You stepped back, slipping out of his embrace. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rafe.”

“Why not?”

“Cause we’re like Romeo and Juliet.”

“I copied Cleo’s notes for that unit," he joked, trying to lighten to damp mood. “Plus I was never a fan of Leo DiCaprio so I didn’t finish the movie either.”

“It means we’re not supposed to be together, you and me. And whenever we try, the universe rips us apart. We hurt each other.”

Rafe shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearly wanting to reach for you again but stopping himself from doing it. “But I can't lose you.”

You reached your hand out, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Oh Rafe, don’t you get it? You never really had me.” You stood up onto your tiptoes to kiss him just like you had the first time three years ago. Rafe barely parted his lips, kissing you back gently. Your hand cupped his face, your thump stroking over his cheek. It was a goodbye. Both of you knew it. It was an ending and this was your closure. You pulled away, your hand falling away from his face.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words. Your eyes fell to the ground. You needed to walk away now. You side-stepped Rafe but he grabbed your waist, turning you back around to face him.

“So that’s it? You’re not even gonna try to fight for us?”

“What even is there to fight for, Rafe? I’ve been fighting for us for the past four years. If we were supposed to be together that car wouldn’t have crashed into ours, I wouldn’t have fallen for Evan when I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at my Nonna’s funeral. What? Are we supposed to do long distance for all of college? I hardly know who I am right now. I have no idea who I’ll be in the next four years. Our future selves might not even like each other. I’m not gonna wait around for you Rafe and I would never ask you to do that for me.” You twirled the small, star charm between your fingers, a nervous habit you'd developed over the past year. His eyes dropped down to your neck momentarily and his adam's apple visibly bobbing as he swallowed his next weeks.

“You were it for me, you know. I tried to give a fuck about anyone else but I couldn’t get your gorgeous, stupid face out of my mind. I only wanted you.” Rafe paused gauging your reaction “I was falling in love with you.”

Your eyes wandered over his stoic expression. “The feeling was mutual, Rafe Cameron.”

He dropped your wrist but you both stood, not moving or saying anything. “Do you wanna walk me back to the car?”

“Yeah.” He reached for your hand, interlocking your fingers. Your other hand held onto his bicep so you walked together through the graveyard back to the parking lot.

The moment felt precious and delicate, like the fragile china your Nonna used to collect. You wondered what would happen to all that china.

Rafe placed a chaste kiss on your lips before opening the door of the car.

“I’ll miss you,” you said, the words hanging in the air meaning so much.

“Me too,” Rafe agreed.

You wanted one more kiss, one more passionate declaration of how much this all had meant but that would make leaving Rafe so much more impossible.

You climbed into the car, dropping Rafe’s hand in the process.

“See you around Cameron.” You knew it wouldn’t happen but it felt better than a goodbye.

He smiled back. “Maybe so.”

Perhaps Rafe was right and you’d both end up at a small liberal arts college in California taking the same second-year Econ class with a professor who always smelled like weed. Perhaps the stars would align and two of you would realize the universe wasn’t trying to keep you apart. It was just waiting for the right moment to show you that the love you had for each other was the soulmates, forever and ever kind of love. Perhaps you would get married and Sarah would be your maid of honor, of course. You’d buy back your Nonna’s house to raise your troubling-making kids in. Perhaps, you would find your way back and wake up each day and choose each other again and again.

Or perhaps, he'd always be your right-person-wrong-time. And, in the end, the passing days will steal away your memories of the blue-eyed boy from the Outer Banks.

taglist! @oreoenthusiast13

[ssa-babygirl]

Out of my League [Part 6]

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: JJ gives you some bad news and Spencer feels like he’s only making matters worse. For both of you.

Warning(s): Angst, mentions of grief and death, allusions to relapse, swearing, mentions of drinking, this is lowkey a mess so i may have missed a couple of warnings

Author’s Note: IT’S HERE!!!! YAY!!! that’s the happiest you’re gonna be all chapter. The next one may take a bit of time and i am SORRY for that because this may or may not have a sorta cliffhanger you should just read it to find out!! also heads up there are a lot of perspective changes later on please just imagine how it would be cut together in a movie that’s how i wrote it OK ENJOY DON’T BE MAD JUST TRUST ME OK??

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

Washington, D.C., 2011

(Reader POV)

You’d gone to three different funerals since moving to D.C. Three more than you would have liked, obviously, no one ever really wants to go to a funeral.

The first had been your father’s. You had Jamie and your mom, but you needed Spencer. He was out on a case and you couldn’t blame him for not being there, but he made up for it a million times over. Your dad’s death wasn’t unexpected, and while it hurt to say goodbye, it was relatively easy to move on.

The second had been for Aaron’s ex-wife, Haley. You didn’t really know her, but Aaron was your friend and you wanted to support him. That and Jamie got along very well with Jack, acting almost as an older cousin, and you know how important family is when you lose a parent.

The third and most recent funeral was the worst one: Emily’s. She was there one day, raring to go and take on the world, gone the next. 

The day you found out was just terrible. JJ had called you herself to tell you. You managed to stay calm until you hung up, when you practically threw your phone onto the kitchen table and collapsed into a chair, tears pouring down your face as silent sobs wracked your body.

Jamie ran in at the sound of you crying, “Mom? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You shook your head, unable to speak. Jamie wordlessly wrapped his arms around your shoulders and held you as you struggled to regain your voice. When you could finally breathe and relay the news you just received, you choked out, “Aunt Emily died last night.”

Then Jamie started crying too. He curled up into your shoulder and sobbed into your shirt, soaking you to the skin, almost like he was little again. You crumbled at the sound of his whines and cries. Every part of your chest ached with the weight of your grief. 

“What happened to her?” He finally whimpered.

“She has a dangerous job,” You didn’t even notice the tense you used, “A bad man was after her.”

“Well, is everyone else okay? What about Uncle Derek? What about Doc—”

“Everyone else is fine, baby, no one else was hurt. Doc’s fine.”

You sat still for God knows how long, silent, clutching each other like a lifeline, praying this was all just a dream and that you’d get a call from Emily telling you it was all some sick joke. Of course, you’d be furious with JJ, but at least there wouldn’t be a hole in your family where Emily had once been. 

Your mother came over to help you cook, the same role you had taken years prior while your father was sick. She consoled you and Jamie for the next two days and then drove you to the funeral. You got out of the car and walked in silence to the church, clutching Jamie’s hand as you entered. 

Aaron was the first at the door. He wasn’t one for hugs, but when he saw you, exhausted and barely standing, he pulled you and Jamie in tight. The hug was brief, but it helped, God, did it help. Dave was just behind him, and he didn’t hesitate. He ruffled Jamie’s hair and gave you a kiss on both cheeks. JJ was holding Henry in the corner, and Will gave you a weak smile. Derek and Penelope were holding one another, both shaking as they cried. Your grip on Jamie’s hand grew tighter, tighter, tighter until you saw him.

You then dropped Jamie’s hand as you ran over, arms open wide as your son followed close behind, “Spence--”

He returned your hug instantly, burying his face in your hair, “I’m sorry I didn’t call--”

You felt Jamie join the hug, but you kept your head buried in Spencer’s chest, “No, I’m sorry too, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Me neither.” He pulled away, wiping away some tears and sniffling, “I’ve just been holed up in my room reading Vonnegut all for the past three days.”

Of course, “What books?”

“Mostly Slaughterhouse-Five, it was her--”

“Her favorite,” You nodded as you spoke the last part in unison with him.

“Yeah. I read it out loud just…” His voice cracked and the words looked painful to get out, “Just in case she could hear me.”

Your heart broke imagining him wrapped in blankets, eyes rimmed red as they glazed over the worn-out pages. You ached at the thought of his voice cracking just as it did before as he read for hours and hours, begging the universe to let Emily hear him, “She did. And she loved it.”

“I just hope she didn’t realize I was crying,” he muttered, and it shattered you, “She wouldn’t want us to cry for her.”

“You’re right, but I know she’d be unbelievably offended if we didn’t cry just a little bit,” Spencer’s tearful smile was enough to make you feel slightly better. There was still hope.

Your mom took Jamie home after the wake, knowing that you needed time with the team to feel like a person again. You went home with Spencer. He shouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

“You’re really good at taking care of me,” he smiled weakly, sipping the tea you made for him.

“Yeah, I had a good teacher.” Your mother was always there when you lost someone. You had your ups and downs, but she was a good mom.

“Does it get easier? Losing someone?”

“No. It always hurts just as bad,” you sigh, “But moving on used to be a lot harder.”

“Do you still miss him?”

“Of course I do, but less than I used to.” You still talked to your dad sometimes, something you did as a kid when he wasn’t home, just telling him about your day or narrating what you were doing. Even after all these years, you still found yourself explaining to no one that you had to run to store and buy bread to make Jamie’s lunch.

“I see little pieces of him everywhere I go. Jamie has the same exact smile. His favorite book when he was little was the same one my dad read to me. No one ever really leaves. Family, friends, they stick with us.”

“I’ve never lost a friend before. When Gideon left, I knew he was out there. Same with Elle. I could have Garcia find them right now and call them up to see how they’re doing, but Emily--” his voice cracked too much for him to want to continue, so he dropped it altogether.

“Did I ever tell you about my college roommate, Juliet?”

“No.”

“We were best friends. We did everything together: Movie nights, parties, all that. The night of our last final senior year, we decided to go clubbing to celebrate.”

You told him the whole story. The drinking, the dancing, the guy. You don’t remember his name, but you remember trusting him. He was sweet and Juliet liked him, so when she came to you at the bar after dancing with him telling you she was going home with him, you let her.

“I was happy for her! She had just gone through a breakup a few months before, so it was nice to see her getting some,” you let out a weak laugh, “I remember the last thing I said before she left was ‘Okay, have fun, call me in the morning, we’ll get brunch. I love you.’” Spencer winced, almost as if he knew where this story was going. Given his line of work, he was expecting far worse, but he at least knew that we didn’t get lunch the next morning.

“I went home a little bit later, I got bored, so I got a taxi home.”

You close your eyes and sigh deeply, “I’m in the back seat when I get a call. It was Juliet’s phone.”

“She wasn’t calling you, was she?”

“No, it was the police. Juliet didn’t have a good relationship with her parents, so I was her emergency contact.” You had to plan the funeral, invite her parents, look them in the eye and lie to them that Juliet wanted to make amends with them. The horrified guilt on their faces almost made it worth it, “The car she was in got t-boned when the guy ran a red light. He wasn’t as sober as we thought he was.”

“She didn’t make it.” Spencer guessed for you.

“No. She was dead before they got her out of the ambulance.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. If Juliet hadn’t…” You still couldn’t bring yourself to actually say it, “I wouldn’t have moved home, I wouldn’t have gotten back with Kyle, and I wouldn’t have Jamie. I don’t wanna tell you that something good will come out of this, because that’s a horrible thing to hear, but looking for an opportunity to find something good can’t hurt.”

“I can’t just look for something new when all i can think about is how I should have been able to help!”

“You really think I didn’t blame myself for what happened to Juliet? That every night for years after I thought I could have done something differently, and sure, I could have, but it’s not like I knew what was going to happen, and I couldn’t keep blaming myself.”

“It’s not the same, you don’t get it.” His fingers ghosted over old scars on his forearms, scars you didn’t want to think about where they came from.

“I do, Spencer. Emily was my friend too. And because she was my friend, I know she would never let you blame yourself for it. She knows you can’t save them all. All we can do is save ourselves,” you took his hand in yours, he still tensed up, “‘cuz that’s all the people we lose want us to do.”

He turned his head up from the floor and met your eyes. Once you gazed into those deep hazel irises, the tension in his hand melted away. His shoulders slumped, and he let out a deep breath, squeezing your hand like a lifeline, “Thank you.”

“Of course, Spence.”

“I’m sorry for snapping.”

“You apologize too much.” You had nearly forgotten exactly what he said to you that night in the hotel bar in Vegas all those years ago, but clearly, he hadn’t, he couldn’t, and he didn’t, because after a few moments of staring into your eyes and slowly drifting towards you in peaceful silence, he closed the gap between you both and kissed you.

Spencer Reid was kissing you.

This was happening.

Nearly two decades of being friends--

Years of being totally, ridiculously, and most importantly, cluelessly in love with each other, Spencer Reid was kissing you. You were almost so overjoyed at that moment as you started to kiss him back that you nearly forgot that your friend was dead and you were supposed to be comforting him. This wasn’t comfort, this was what Kyle did to you all those years ago.

You broke the kiss before he did something he’d regret, “Spence…”

“Oh my god,” he removed his hands from your face and shifted his entire body away from you, “I’m so sorry.” 

“No, don’t-”

“Oh my god, I’m an idiot!” He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as his hands landed at the back of his neck, forcing his head to stare in his lap.

“No you’re not! Hey. Genius. Look at me.” He didn’t. “You’re not. You’re just in a bad place, I get it.”

“No you don’t. This time, you don’t.”

“What do you m—”

“Look, I don’t wanna kick you out but I really think you should leave.”

“Oh… yeah… sure… okay.” You slowly rose from the couch on weak knees. Whether it was from adrenaline or anxiety, you couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be! Just… please, take care of yourself?” You glance around the room for your belongings, “Shower, eat something, get some rest, please. And call me if you need anything--”

“Y/N, please, just go.”

You felt tears sting your eyes as you reached for the doorknob. You turned your head just enough to look over your shoulder to say, “Goodnight, pretty boy,” before you left. You closed the door behind you and leaned against it, breathing heavily. 

           (Spencer’s POV)

Why was I kicking her out?

Why was I telling her to leave?

Why was I pushing her away?

Why did I kiss her?

Why did she push me away?

Why did she call me “pretty boy?” She never--

The pieces fell into place as they often do, all at once with the force of a car slamming into a pole at fifty miles per hour. 

“Goodnight, Pretty Boy.”

“Goodnight, Princess.”

She remembered that night.

She remembered that night when I drove her home and put her to bed and--

And I told her I had a crush on her in high school.

And I almost said I loved her.

And I almost kissed her then.

God, I wish I had. Any time would have been better than now.

          (Reader POV)

You didn’t know you could miss someone so much while they were behind just one door. You could’ve turned around right then and knocked and waited for him to be ready to talk about what just happened. About him kissing you. About you kissing back. About you stopping him. About that drunken night when you let it slip how pretty you thought he was.

You should’ve just waited.

But you couldn’t stand to be that close to him while he wanted to be as far away from you as possible.

So you ran.

You practically sprinted down the stairs and out of his building as quickly as you could, getting in your car and pulling out of the parking lot and getting the fuck away before you hurt anyone else, including yourself.

          (Spencer POV)

I couldn’t just let her walk out like that.

I had to say something.

I had to go after her.

I had to get her back.

I needed her.

But when I opened the door, it was like she had never been there. 

I leaned on my door frame staring at the staircase down the hall, wishing I had the energy to run after her, to catch her before she reached her car, to stop her from driving away, to tell her I was sorry, to beg her to please, please, come back upstairs and talk to me, but my feet were fixed to the floor and my legs were weak. I just closed my door with my back and slid down to the floor, unable to bring myself to cry anymore. I sat there for god knows how long until I found the energy to crawl over to the coffee table where I had left my phone, picked it up, and dialed a number.

          (Reader POV)

You jumped slightly at the sound of your phone ringing, you shuffled through your bag in the passenger seat, desperately trying to find it before the light turned green. Some foolish part of your mind told you it was Spencer, you wished it was Spencer, you wanted nothing more than to turn your car around and talk it all out with him, tell him you were sorry, that you loved him, that you needed him, but your heart sank when you looked at the screen and saw the number.

It was a just fucking spam call.

You threw your phone back in your seat and beat your fists against the steering wheel, groaning and wishing the fucking light would just turn green already. When it finally did, you slammed on the gas a bit too quickly, sending the car jolting forward. You barely stopped the entire rest of the ride home, the universe must have sensed your impatience. As you finally pulled into your driveway, your skull felt as though it was packed with cotton, your tear tracks drying on your cheeks.

You raced up the steps to your door, fussing with the keys and trying to unlock the door as quickly and quietly as possible. You inevitably made noise as you entered, prompting a light to turn on in the living room. Your mom rose from the couch she had been sleeping on, her face dropping from annoyed to concerned.

“Toots, you’re home already? I thought you wouldn’t be back until morning.”

You had thought that you were fresh out of tears, but apparently, you still had more to spare, seeing as you broke the second the words left her mouth.

“Oh my, what happened?” She raced towards you, wrapping you in a hug, “Is Spencer okay? Did something happen?”

As confused and sad as you were, you couldn’t stop the smile that had suddenly appeared on your face, “He kissed me.”

“He what?” She broke the hug, holding your face in her hands and wiping tears off of your cheeks, “Then honey, why on Earth are you here?”

          (Spencer POV)

“You kicked her out? Why?”

“Why do you think I called you, Jennifer? What do I do? How do I fix this?”

“Well, what exactly happened?”

“I freaked out, she came over, we talked, I,” I took a deep breath and braced myself for her reaction, “I kissed her—”

She almost choked on her coffee, “And you didn’t lead with that? Don’t you think that’s a little important?” 

“I was trying to avoid reliving it for as long as possible.”

“You’ve wanted this since high school, why wouldn’t you want to relive it?”

“She pulled away.” There was no anger or sadness behind my words. I don’t sound hurt as I recount the scene, “She took my hand, I kissed her, she stopped me.”

JJ’s hand brushed over my shoulder and I flinched away slightly.

“I apologized immediately, she wasn't mad or anything, I just…” I trailed off, unable to admit that I just couldn’t look at her anymore. I never thought I’d get tired of seeing her face, but I had needed her to leave. When she pulled away, all I could think about was the sound of Alexa Lisbon sneering at me as Kyle and his goons tied me to that goal post.

“She wanted to help me, and I know she did, but…”

“She couldn’t.” JJ finished my sentence.

I shook my head, “Not this time.”

“But now you want her to come back?”

“And I don’t know how to tell her that because I fucked up.”

“What did she say after you told her to leave? Did she just go?”

          (Reader POV)

“I told him not to feel bad and to take care of himself.” You hadn’t had time to tell him how much you wanted to kiss him but neither one of you was in the right state of mind for that. 

“Right, yeah, and did he say anything else?”

You winced at the memory of how his voice sounded. “He kept telling me to leave, so I just went for the door and said--”

          (Spencer POV)

“‘Goodnight, pretty boy,’” I grumbled, “That was the last thing she said.”

“Okay?”

“She never calls me Pretty Boy.” I told her the whole story. When I was done, her eyebrows were drawn together and lips were pressed together in a thin, worried line uttering, “Spence…”

“What?”

She sighed, saying nothing and smirking slightly to herself, but saying nothing.

“Jennifer.”

“She loves you, genius.”

“Then why’d she leave?”

“Because you told her to. And…” she hesitated, almost scared to say anything else. I was scared to hear it. JJ took my coffee away and dumped it down the sink, a silent indicator that I had enough and needed to go to bed.

She turned back to me and leaned over the table again, making sure I'd look her in the eyes, “She’d do anything for you.”

I just stared down on my hands on the table, unable to say another word, unable to defend myself, unable to fight anymore.

Because I knew she was right.

Taglist~~~

Lmk if you wanna be added! Some names didn’t work so if you don’t see your name as a tag just dm me a url and I’ll try to fix it

@lawnmoa​ @ellvswriting @baby-pogue​ @purelyprentiss​ @confused-and-really-hungry @thatsonezesty13​ @deni-gonzalez​ @irjuejjsaa @randomfandomshitposts​ @bisoner​ @moonstarrnghtsky​ @smurfflynn​ @eldahae​ @t0xicllama​ @undeniablyyou​ @staplernpaper​ @theweirdobella @sammypotato67 @k-k0129 @helloniallslovelies @dazzlingnights @uhuhuh​ @booksarekindaneat @crimeshowtrash @carlgrxmes @collectiveuniverses @annesauriol

[finalgilmoregirl]

new years : 40s!stucky x fem!reader (all platonic) 🤍

a/n: this wasn’t requested but i’ve been thinking about this for a few days and thought i should write it! i hope you enjoy, AND HAPPY LATE NEW YEARS!!!

sorry for any typos, i’m really tired.

—————————————

“you would think since she’s the one always rushing us she’d be ready by now.” bucky grumbled, leaning on your apartments door.

new year’s eve. an exciting time that brings hope of improvement and change in the world. every year for as long as you could remember you’d spent the night with your favorite boys. being friends since childhood, you never went a day without seeing eachother. even when one of your family’s decided to hold a trip, the other two just had to tag along. and tonight was no exception.

“how much longer we got till midnight?” steve asked.

“mmmm....maybe an hour and a half. we should be able to make it.” bucky said, checking his watch.

“i don’t get why we can’t just stay inside and listen to the countdown on the radio. or even go to a bar?” steve complained.

“she said she wanted to feel the new year. which if by feel she means the cold she’s gonna have us freeze to death in? then yeah. i’m definitely feelin’ it.” the older boy shivered.

their attention was turned to the door when they heard the sound of locks being undone, both letting out a sigh of relief. you opened the door, revealing you in your favorite turtleneck and long plaid skirt. your hair and makeup all done up, the smile you had on your face looking straight out of a catalogue.

“you boys ready to go?” you asked them, happy to see them dressed in their best coats with their hair slicked back. you locked your door and adjusted the purse on your shoulder before you began to walk toward the street, until bucky stopped you.

“you forgetting something y/n/n?” he asked, holding your arm. you suddenly felt the harsh cold and realized you forgot your coat.

“oh! right. thanks buck.” you blushed, opening your door again to retrieve your forgotten winter coat.

the boys smiled at your obvious excitement and started to walk away whilst you shut your door again. you quickly caught up and intertwined your arms with theirs as the three of you made your way to the nearest park to watch the fireworks.

the three of you walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes, listening to the sounds coming from different houses and restaurants. steve was the first to talk, turning his head to you and bucky.

“what do you guys want out of the new year?” he asked, curious to hear what his best friends were hoping for.

“that michelle santana lets me take her out. maybe save up to buy a telescope too.” bucky was quick to say. the ridiculous first answer making you and steve burst out laughing.

“oh please james.” you taunted. “it’s supposed to be a resolution not a miracle.” michelle was one of the most well known girls around, and while most would fall at buckys feet given the chance, she just wasn’t interested.

“oh yeah? what’s your answer then?” bucky huffed, offended by your statement.

“i’m going to get my driver’s license so i don’t have to be seen walking around with you clowns.” you sighed, earning a glare from both boys.

“the hell did i do?” steve asked, whipping his head to look straight at you.

“nothing stevie.” you reassured, patting the blonde boy’s face. “it’s this one that kills it for both of you.” you pointed your thumb at bucky.

“oh yeah? with the way you nearly crashed my pa’s old car? you might as well be asking for a miracle too.” bucky snickered, referring to your failed and only other attempt at driving.

you gasped and pushed him away, pulling steve’s arm to walk ahead of him. bucky cackled behind you two and jogged ahead, throwing an arm around your shoulder. “oh c’mon doll you know i’m just teasing.” he kissed your cheek, to which you fake gagged and wiped it away. “i believe in you. i really do.” he said, giving you a soft smile. you turned your head towards steve, who had yet to give his answer.

“what about you steve? what are you hoping for this year?” you asked. he squinted his eyes and looked ahead as he thought.

“well” he began. “as much as this sounds like wishing for a miracle too, i want to get better, maybe even stronger.”

you and bucky smiled at your friends answer. you knew that with his conditions, getting any stronger than he was now was asking for a lot, but that never stopped steve and you both doubted he would stop anytime soon.

the three of you conversed and joked about nonsense for the rest of the walk, and by the time you approached the park there was 45 minutes until 12:00. the park held the other families of the neighborhood. all drinking and dancing while the clock that stood at the church across the street shone bright. you sat down on a nearby bench, hoping to rest your feet before you inevitably had to walk back home. you hummed along to the soft love songs that echoed through the park, shoving your freezing hands in your coat pocket. meanwhile the two boys paced in circles, having their own conversation about god knows what.

a while later, bucky stood in front of you with a hand reaching out. you raised an eyebrow as your gaze flickered from his hand to his face.

“c’mon doll. dance with me.” he smirked. dream a little dream of me was playing, a song he knew you wouldn’t be able to resist, the slow song being probably your favorite in the world. you gave him a smile and took hold of his hand, him pulling you up and steve taking your place on the bench. bucky held your waist close with one hand, while his other held yours. you placed your empty arm around his neck and rested your head on his chest, swaying along to the music, letting bucky lead. you loved bucky for a lot of things, but one of your favorites was how much of a great dance partner he was, you swore he could be a professional.

the hand bucky held on your waist slowly began to creep down south, which steve was quick to catch. “hey! watch those hands big guy.” he called bucky out, causing you to slap the back of his head. bucky chuckled and retreated his hand back onto your waist, mumbling a “sorry” in between giggles. as the song came to a close and a new one began, you kissed buckys cheek and made your way over to the bench. now it was your turn to offer a hand, but this time to steve. steve simply shook your hand with his and placed it back into his pocket, ignoring your offer.

you rolled your eyes and kept your arm outstretched. “c’mon stevie one dance. please.” you pleaded. steve rarely wanted to dance, you being the only exception a number of times. he was always worried of messing up though you told him that the only way to get better is to slip up a few times and learn. but steve rogers was always known to be a stubborn boy.

he looked at your pleading eyes and knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against them. groaning, he hesitantly took your hand and bit back a smile as you gratefully squealed. steve relaxed once he took note of the slow tempo of the song, glad he wouldn’t have too much trouble with it. he placed his hands where bucky did before and the two of you began your dance. bucky grinned at the sight of his two favorite people.

you leaned your head on steve’s shoulder and quietly sang along to the song that was playing.

never thought that you would be, standing here to close to me

there’s so much i feel that i should say

a beautiful song in your opinion, one you feel you could only understand when you’re around the people you love.

steve, feeling brave, decided to try and spin you. this caught you by suprise but you quickly went with it and the two of you succeeded nonetheless. steve beamed proudly as bucky cheered. “beautiful!”

you laughed, burying your face into steve neck. the song ended way too soon and the two of you sat on the opposite sides on bucky on the bench. you rested your head on his shoulder and reached for his arm to check the time. “how much longer jamie?” you asked. bucky took a look at his watch.

“10 minutes y/n/n.”

you groaned, already wanting the countdown to begin. it was so exciting, not to mention the joy that went through you at the sight of fireworks. the boys quietly laughed at your impatience and began playing some hand game to pass the time.

next thing you knew, five minutes had passed and you shot out of your seat, pulling steve and bucky up and dragging them towards the main street, to get a better view of the commotion bound to happen soon.

“jesus y/n you’re gonna rip my arm off.” you heard steve complain, but you paid no mind and continued marching on. you eventually abruptly stopped at the sidewalk, causing the boys behind you to nearly fall over.

two minutes left on the clock!

“okay.” you turned to the two boys. “who’s going to be my new years kiss?” both their eyes widened at the question. most years, while you three spent the night with eachother, usually found someone before the countdown to kiss. however since it was just the trio of you tonight, you had to compromise.

steve cleared his throught uncomfortably. “kiss? you?”

“yes! i need a new years kiss.” you explained, annoyed at the nervous expression on his face. “oh don’t be like that stevie, i was your first kiss for crying out loud!”

“yeah i suppose.” he shrugged, licking his chapped lips.

“so you’ll do it?” you asked.

“yeah, yeah.” steve nodded.

“hey hey hey what about me?” bucky whined. “i don’t got someone to kiss me.”

“relax. i’ll give you one after.” you told him, turning your attention to the church clock and the crowd that started to form around it as the countdown began.

ten, nine, eight

you reached for their hands, to which they happily accepted.

seven, six, five

you began to bounce in excitement, making your best friends laugh.

four, three, two

you began to join in on the chanting.

one, happy new year!!

you turned to steve and grabbed his face, pulling him into a hard kiss. everyone cheered as the church bells rang and fireworks began to erupt. steve held onto your waist and blushed as you pulled away, looking up to see the colorful sparks in the sky. you then turned to bucky, who was clapping at the view above and you pulled at his collar to give him a kiss as well, to which he quickly reciprocated and tried holding you tight. you pulled away and threw your arms around your favorite boys, bringing them into a group hug.

“i love you idiots.” you told them. they mumbled a couple “love you too”s but the moment was interrupted with the sounds of more fireworks. you stepped back to watch them and at that moment you felt ultimate happiness.

——————————

i really hope you guys enjoyed this :)

[retroellie]

Dating Ellie Williams Headcannons

Summary: Headcannons for dating ellie 

A/N: Have this because my last imagine was ass... I think i like writing headcannons way more than imagines lmao 

Warning: TLOU2 spoilers, Mentions of death, PTSD, and NSFW/dirty talk 

Word Count: 1.8k 

- She fell in love with you when she first saw you 

- She had just come to Jackson after the incident with the fireflies 

- You being around the same age as her tommy asked you to show her around and tell her what’s what

- “Ellie this is Y/n, Y/n this is ellie.” Tommy introduced y’all 

-Her heart stopped when she saw you, she couldn’t help the blush that was forming. 

-She couldn’t stop looking at you when you were talking about the shops and sights around Jackson 

- It seemed like you were liked around town, you were friendly to everyone and everyone knew who you were

- She will never forget the thing you said to her when you guys were in front of her new home 

-”Tommy told me a lot about you and i just want you to know, you're safe now.” 

-She felt for the first time she could let go, relax for a minute 

-You helped her move into the garage, trying to make her as comfortable as she could be 

- She wrote about you a lot in her journal, writing poems and drawing pictures of you 

-You guys hung out a lot with Jesse and Dina but she would much rather hang out with you alone 

-You two had become really good friends by the time you guys were 16, i mean Ellie opened up to you more than she did anyone 

-Opening up meaning talking about her interests and some of her favorite childhood memories 

-She was honestly too scared to tell you about her immunity and even more scared to tell you about her past, afraid that she was gonna scare you away 

-You introduced her to cat and you definitely regretted it because cat liked her 

-When they started dating cat was definitely the third wheel because you and Ellie were so closer

-You held Ellies hand when she got her tattoo, she couldn’t hide the blush than but blamed it on the pain 

-You guys shared the same love for music, you showed her most of the music she listened to 

-You would sleep over at her place a lot 

-You guys would watch movies, talk about space and dance horribly to old music 

-Y’all could never get bored of each other

-When you spent the night at her place you would sleep in her bed with her but it was as friends, Ellie didn’t want you sleep on the floor and you didn’t want to force her out of her own bed  

-Ellie would always get so embarrassed when you slept over, she would always go into a gay panic 

-By the time y’all were 18, she was head over heels for you 

-You two were still best friends but her feelings got in the way  so she was distant 

-It got to the point where she didn’t want to be with anyone else, it was either you or no one 

-She didn’t really have time for relationships so she didn’t really mind it 

-She would play guitar for you when you came over, even attempting to teach you 

-Everything she owned was yours and everything you owned was hers 

-”God damn it, where is my Walkman” 

-”Oh, I took it. Mine broke.” 

-Ellie bashed on everyone you liked, Little did she know you liked her 

- You liked the boy who worked at the bar? She had something to say about him 

-You found out she liked you when you two were dancing one night 

-Your arms were wrapped around her neck and hers around your waist, it was like a scene from a movie 

-You both felt the tension, it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy 

-”I’m just a girl.... not a threat.” 

-”Oh ellie... I think they should be terrified of you.” 

-Next thing you know her lips were on yours 

-The kiss felt like it went on forever until you pulled away, panting for air 

-No words exchanged just a smirk and her pulling you out of the church

-She didn’t waste anytime, She’s been waiting for this moment 

-Now that you guys were together, you guys were too powerful 

-You guys spent a lot of time in her garage, i swear you basically lived there 

-You guys could spend hours tangled up together or have heated make out sessions that lead to so much more 

-Soft kisses and 80s movies 

-endless sex i swear this woman is going to be the death of me 

-I have said this before but this girl is always horny, i mean she still has raging hormones  so she’s always on top of you 

-She tries to highlight her tattoo when pleasuring you because she knows it drives you crazy 

-She loves when you sit in her lap, it’s both cute and hella sexy to her

-Her kisses make you lightheaded, like you gotta sit down for a minute after she kisses you 

-She finds your body fascinating, like it sounds cringey but she love everything about you body 

-She likes to explore your body a lot, like what gets the best reaction out of you 

-She’s kinda new to sex, she’s had a fling or two but nothing long term so now she really has to get this shit down

-She’s the top, i said what i said 

-Joel has walked in on you two lots of times 

-”Hey elli... OH FUCK. SORRY, I’m sorry.” He says while covering his eyes 

-You both have to stop for a minute just to laugh your asses off 

-Y’all were really loud too so like y’all got complaints a lot 

-”Sorry, Y/n came over for a minute.” Ellie says busting through the door 

-”Yeah i know, i heard y’all.” Joel joked 

-She makes really bad cheesy pick up lines to you 

-”You know I’m jealous of your heart, because it’s pumping in and out of you and I’m not.” 

-”I’m literally gonna break up with you.’ 

-She never fails to make you laugh

-Her with her fucking puns mama, you can’t hide from her silly side

-Joel is a proud dad, he loves his lesbian daughter and her girlfriend 

-Later on into the relationship ellie fully opens up to you 

-You were tracing her tattoo one day, feeling the bumpiness of it 

-”What happened?’ 

-She debated on telling you, Joel said not to tell anyone 

-She gave in through, telling you about riley, her immunity, her and Joel's trip, even David 

-She ended up crying, you’ve never seen her that broken down before 

-You held her most the day, giving her all the kisses she needed 

-When Joel died, you were basically always with her. Not wanting to leave her alone 

-You were the one that found them. You shook ellie awake,  Letting her sob into your shirt 

-You brought her home, she could barely move. She was in so much shock and pain 

-You cleaned her up and took days off of rounds just to lay in bed with her all day 

-The nights were the worst 

-She would wake up in tears, sweat drenched her body. She would bury her face into her chest, crying her eyes out 

-”I saw him. All the blood..” 

-”I know baby, it’s okay. I’m here.” 

-you guys were still so in love with each other at 20, maybe even more if that was possible 

-The trip to Seattle and trying to kill Abby really brought y’all even closer, seeing sides of each other you guys never had 

-The fear and the defeat you both felt on that trip, it made ellie more in love with you that you stayed 

-You two lived in a small farmhouse after the trip to Seattle, it was nice and quiet 

-You lived like two cottagecore lesbians out in the middle of nowhere, it was a good change 

-Ellie would love to paint you with flowers, she found that you and flowers together created a perfect masterpiece 

-Ellie was kinda a city girl so you had to teach her a lot of stuff, you mostly read books about farms because you didn’t have a clue either 

-You guys lived without pants, like no one was there to see y’all, no one to impress so like fuck it, who needs pants 

-Ellie loved waking up to you in the kitchen, with messy hair and nothing but her t-shirt on.... Yes please 

-To save water y’all would take baths together, it mostly always turned into bath sex 

- Ellie was glued to your side, like wherever you went she was there with you 

-She was very distracting, always kissing up your neck or moving your hips on hers 

-I swear this woman was distracting without meaning to be 

-When she was doing farm work and her tattoo would stand out, it made you want to jump on her every single time 

-Sex with her back then  was great but sex with her now was so much better 

-She really matured a lot, she knew what she wanted and just how to do it 

-Your pleasure came first to her, she loved the feeling of being able to pleasure you 

-Don’t worry, you didn’t leave her out. You made sure she felt just as good as you 

-She wasn’t shy so dirty talk was her thing 

-”Just one more time baby, i wanna see you cum on my fingers one more time.” I’m so gross im sorry AHDS

-She would fuck you on literally everything in the house 

-No one was near to hear y’all and y’all could do it anywhere and at anytime, it was fucking heaven for y’all 

-Y’all were together a lot and although ellie loved it, she knew you liked your alone time 

-She would go into her painting room and play guitar or draw, doing anything to keep her busy 

- After a hour or two went by you would come in and sit on her lap, hinting that  you were getting a bit lonely 

-You were always there for her when she went through her attacks, telling her it was going to be okay and you were here with her 

-”Y/N! I- I can’t.. can’t breath.” 

-”Ellie baby, you're okay. just keep taking deep breaths for me, okay?”

-Seeing her like this broke your heart but you were nothing but patient with her,  she was really thankful for that 

-You never talked about joel or even riley, you knew those were sensitive topics so when she did talked about them you listened and allowed her to rant 

-”You know, I think Riley would’ve really liked you.” 

-”You think so?” 

-”Yeah, she would’ve liked your weird taste in music.’ 

-Ellie dreamed about what it would've been like in a normal world

-She could see you two meeting at a movie theater, hitting it off and eventually getting married, Maybe adopting a kid or two

-She was so in love with you, no matter what you looked like or what your body type was. She loved you 

-

-

-

!Credits to gif owner!

[pascalscenarios]

THE ONE (Frankie Morales x Reader)

THE ONE

Frankie Morales x Reader  

Summary: You party with the bridesmaids in the city, only for you to get lost and ending up in Frankie’s care.

Warning: Alcohol consumption // Intoxication

Words: 2428

Authors Note: Find you someone that is willing to take care of you like Frankie Morales will. I cry.. - k

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4

Chapter 4

It’s been several weeks since the night you hung out with Santiago and Frankie. Tonight your bridesmaids were throwing you a party and heading into the city to celebrate you getting married and an excuse to party one last time like you were single. Your friends booked a hotel for the night so you all didn’t have to worry about getting home, and so that in the morning you could go shopping and have a fun day in the city.

You were ready to let loose. You needed it. Tonight was about having fun.

“Wow!” Alex says as he watches you walk out of the bathroom.

You give them a twirl and strike a pose in the outfit you were wearing “You like?”

“Like? I love it!”

You smile at their response as they come to give a kiss on the cheek.

“Are you sure you can’t just stay home?” they say, raising their eyebrow up.

“The girls have been planning this party for months! I can’t back out now and plus I need this.” Your phone buzzed on the coffee table. You walked over to pick it. It was your maid of honor texting you that they and the rest of the bridesmaids were outside waiting in the car.

“Ah! They're here! I gotta go!” You smile, picking up your bag, and stuff your phone inside.

“Alright, well have fun, and stay safe, if you need anything call me, yeah?” Alex gives you a hug.

“Of course! I’ll see you later. ”

With that, you headed outside, walking to the car that was parked in your driveway. “Hey everyone!” You smiled as you stepped into the car.

“Ready to party?”

“I’m more than ready!” You laughed. “LET PARTY BABY!” you yell as you turn up the radio in the car. Everyone cheered as the car pulled out of the driveway, starting your destination into the city.

…

“ANOTHER ROUND OF SHOTS! You yelled to the waiter over the loud music. You were taken to a popular club for your party. Your friends had given you a plastic crown that you wore on your head and a cheesy white sash that said ‘getting married’.

Right when you stepped foot into the club, you immediately started drinking. You wanted to forget about the wedding, forget about the mess with Frankie, forget about doubts you’ve been recently having about the wedding. You wanted to forget it all and just go wild.

That's what you did. You drank a shit ton of alcohol, you lost count of how much you had. You felt great and amazing throughout the time you were there, but you soon began to feel sick.

You were standing in the middle of the dance floor, looking around for your friends. As you looked around things began to swirl, your vision becoming blurry. You tried your best to make out where your friends could be, but they were nowhere to be found. You were sweaty and hot, the warm club atmosphere started becoming unbearable to be in. You felt like you were suffocating. You need to get out.

You rip the crown off your head and sash off. With your bag on your arm, you reached for your cell phone. You stumbled your way to the club exit. When you stepped outside you started to walk, not knowing where you were going. Was the hotel this direction or that direction or was it back there? Maybe you should turn back.

You turned back around only to realize you had no idea where you were or what direction you originally came from.

You looked at the time 1:13 am. Alex, you should call Alex. You unlocked your phone and clicked on Alex’s name. You pressed the phone against your ear, waiting for him to pick it up.

“Hello?”

“H-hey! I need you to pick me up” You slurred.

“What?” They sounded confused.

“I- don’t know where my friends went. I walked out of the club in the city and I-I'm kinda lost-lost I don’t know where I am”

They started talking, blabbing on about something, but you were zoning out.

“Hello? Hey! Are you there?”

“Hmm? What's up?”

“I need you to listen to me, okay? Do you know where you are?”

You giggled. “Ofc-course not! That's why I CALLED you silly! I need helpppp I don’t know where I am! Now Can you please come to pick me up? I wanna go home” You groaned.

“I’m going to come get you, but is there anything that's open near you or a place you can sit that is well lit?”

“uHhhhhhhh” you say as you spin your body around, scanning the area. You stop once you see a church that was lit up from the small spotlight lights that were stuck in the ground.

“I see a church...”

“Okay, good, can you tell me the name of the church?”

“Sainttttt Mary’s Baptisttttt Churchhhhhh” You say slowly, dragging out the words as you reading the light-up sign.

“I need you to go sit in front of the church and STAY there. Whatever you do, DO NOT move. Do you understand?”

“Okayyy.” You make your way over, stumbling over to the steps, you plop yourself down.

“Hey, don’t hang up, I want you to stay on the phone with me.”

“okIE Dokie, Artiechokie” you giggled. You place the phone on speaker and set it down next to you on the step.

“I’ll be there soon alright, just hang tight.”

You yawned. Laying down on the concrete step. You slowly drift off to sleep.

...

“Smiles…” You were being shaken away. You groaned, scrunching your face up.

“Smiles, come on you gotta get up.” The person sets you up slowly. You moan, feeling light-headed. You opened your eyes to see Frankie squatting in front of you.

“F-Frankie?”

He slips off his thick jean jacket and slips it over your shoulders.

“W-what are you- I-I called Alex?” You slurred.

“No, you called me.”

“What?- I’m so confused..I swear I called-” you say, placing your hand on your head.

“Hey, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna take you home.” He places his arm around your waist securely, helping you stand. You lean against him slightly as he leads you to his truck.

Your face lit up as you noticed his old beat up pick up truck. “Oh, my godddddd the red truck!’ You giggled. “Hahahah I remember all the funnnnn times we had in here” you couldn’t contain your laughter as you raised your eyebrows up and down.

Frankie opens the passenger door. “Come on, Smiles,” he says, helping you get into the truck.

You felt sick, a tight and unsettling feeling sat in your stomach. He was about to close the door, when you pushed it wide open, leaning over and throwing up out of the car.

“Whoa!” He says back up quickly, but it was too late, you throw up on his feet.

You lean into the bench seat, groan. You began to cry, embarrassed you just threw up on him and how drunk you got yourself.

“Hey, Hey, smiles don’t cry. It’s okay.” He says stepping over your vomit and moving your hair out of your face and caressing your cheek.

“H-how can you even say that? I threw up on your shoes…” you wailed. You were full-on ugly crying.

“It’s okay!” He laughs softly. “It’s no big deal. It’ll wash off and I got an extra pair of shoes in the back.”

“Are you sure? You aren’t mad?” you sniffled.

“No, not at all. I promise I’m not mad, there’s no need to cry.” he softly says wiping your tears and stroking your cheek. “Put on your seat belt.”

You listened to him. You picked up the lap strap and clicked it into the buckle. Frankie shuts the door, walking around towards the backside of the truck, leaving over the side to grab his extra boots. He walks over to the very back, popping open the tailgate to sit down and wipe out these throw-up shoes, with another.

You felt the car dip back up. The tailgate slam shut, and Frankie comes around and slides into the truck.  

He puts the key into the ignition and turns on their car.

In the cup holder was a water bottle. He picks it up, handing it to you.

“Here, drink some water.”

“Thanks,” you say, taking the bottle.

Frankie put the car and drive and headed out of the church parking lot.

…

Frankie had been driving for a while. It was silent most of the time, small talk here and there.

“What are we doing here?” you asked, your eyes tired as you started at the neon diner sign as he was pulling into the parking lot.

“Getting food, what does it look like?” He says driving into the stall.

“But it's like almost 3 AM…”

“So. I know you’re hungry and probably haven’t eaten much since clubbing”, he says, opening his car door and hopping out.

You were pretty hungry. You sigh, opening the car door. Frankie came on your side helping you out of the car. You still had Frankie's jean jacket around your shoulders. You quickly slip your arms into the sleeves after feeling the cool breeze of the early morning.

You stand beside the truck, getting a better look at the diner. You smile realizing where you were. “Dolly’s,” you say quickly looking over to Frankie.

You and Frankie used to come to Dolly’s all the time when you were dating. They were open late at night, into the early morning. Sometimes in the middle of the night, you would crave breakfast and pancakes. You would drive to Dollys to get your fix.

You both started walking to the entrance, you still a little wobbly, grabbing onto Frankie's arm for stability. Frankie opens the front door, allowing you to walk in first.

You were hit with the smell of coffee and bacon sizzling on the greasy stove. There were a few people scattered around the quiet diner.

“Frankie Morales!” You hear Ms. Dolly yell from behind the counter, grabbing two menus and walking over to you both. She was the sweet old lady that owned the Diner. Dolly and her husband bought it in the ’50s and haven’t stopped working.

He takes off his hat and fixes his hair to look more presentable. “Hi, Ms. Dolly.”

“What are you- oh my!” she says as she notices you standing beside him. “Sweetheart! It’s been so long!” she says, pulling you into a hug.

“Hi Ms. Dolly”

“I haven’t seen you in ages! And you’re here with sweet boy Frankie! Gosh, you kids are making me feel so old! I remember when the two of you used to come here all the time when you were in college and Frankie was still in uniform.” She gushed.

“Ms. Dolly, it's so late, and you’re still working!”

“I live and breathe this place! I may look old, but I’m still going strong!” She laughs. “Gosh, you don’t need these menus, I still remember your orders! Go sit wherever you like, your food should be out in a jiffy!”

“Thank you!” you and Frankie say walking and slipping into a booth.

“I haven’t been here in ages.” You look around the dinner, it still looked the same as you remembered it. “Brings back good memories, fun memories of the two of us”. You smile at Frankie.

“It does. This was always our favorite place to eat... I come here every once in while. Sometimes I’ll bring-” he stops himself, not finishing his sentence.

“Bring who?” You ask, cocking your head to the side. Was it the person he was talking to on the phone at Santiago's house?

“I come here with-”

“Here you are darlings.” Ms. Dolly placed a huge stack of pancakes, with a side of bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns and two orange juices and extra plates in front of the both of you.

Frankie watched as your tired eyes lit up at seeing the breakfast. Your mind instantly forgot about what you two were talking about before.

“Dig in! If you need anything let me know!”

You quickly lung for your favorite, the pancakes. You pick one up biting into it. You grab a plate and the syrup, pouring the sticky brown liquid into the plate. You take the pancake, rubbing it on the plate to soak it in syrup, then take another bite.

You moaned at its taste. It tasted so good, like heaven.

Frankie smiles at you. You never liked cutting up your pancakes. You liked to eat it whole, dipping it into syrup. He shakes his head as he fills up his plate with food. “Still the same Smiles I know.”

…

“I’m tired and full… mostly tired.” You groaned leaning into the booth. “Future me is going to kill me in the morning, Frank.”

“I’ll take you home.” He takes out money from his wallet and drops it on the table. He places his hat back on his head, and slides out of the booth walking over to your side, helping you stand up.

“Thanks, Ms. Dolly!” You drunkenly wave and Frankie holds you up.

“Bye! Come back and visit now!”

Frankie thanks Dolly, then walks you to the car helping you get in.

Once your both were n the car and buckled up, Frankie started the car and started to drive back home.

You slide yourself across the bench seat, pressing up against Frankie. You lean your head against his shoulder as he drives.

“Thank you, Frankie,” you say, closing your eyes.

“For what?” He says, his eyes focused on the road.

“Getting up at the wee hours of the morning to get my drunk ass and for buying me breakfast” You chuckled. “You didn’t have to do that, but that’s one of the things I love about you.”

Frankie felt his heart stop. He grew tense at what you said.

“I love that you’d go out of your way to help anyone. You always had such a big heart. You’re gentle, patient, caring, and loving. I’ve always loved that about you. It’s the reason why I fell in love with you as a kid. Before I even knew what love was...” he can hear you growing tired, your voice slowly fading as you yawned.

You deeply sigh, “You’re the one I…the one…” you stop talking, not finishing what you were saying

He was waiting for you to continue speaking. “The one? The one what, smiles?” he asks, wanting to know what you were going to say.

You remained silent.

“Smiles?” he turned his gaze down towards you. You let out a little snore, you were out cold, sound asleep.

Frankie leans down, kissing the top of your head, and continues to drive home.

tags // @icanbeyourjedi 

[electronicgrowth]

Can’t Get Enough Part 5

Billie has lost her virginity! Where is this relationship headed? 

This has just been chilling in drafts... I forgot I was a person there for a moment. I apologize.

Summary: The two most stubborn people in Knockemstiff, Ohio have eyes for only each other. Lee Bodecker is determined to become the town’s next sheriff. He knows that image is everything. Billie Dechswaan doesn’t care about her image at all. All she wants is to leave Knockemstiff and never come back. But Lee has other plans for her. Both are far too stubborn to give up their own plans. What happens when they can’t get enough of each other?

Word Count: 2.3k

After losing her virginity, Billie can’t get enough of Lee. When he’s inside her, she promises him all the things he wants. But they fight about her wanting leave. She’s still adamant about moving away, despite her attack. Lee tries desperately to reason with her. But she won’t hear it. Lee feels his time running out as the days in June and July come and go. He makes the decision for them one day. He pokes holes in every single condom. He feels slightly guilty, but Bille needs to realizes how much she needs him. 

All the arguing comes to a head one night in mid-August. Billie snuck out like she did most nights and met up with Lee. She quickly slide into the car and kissed him. It was a Wednesday night and they hadn’t seen each other since the church service on Sunday. Billie had spent most of the time between services chatting with Lee, instead of helping to serve luncheon, and this behavior was not missed by the church ladies. 

Rumors were flying. Everyone was wondering when Lee would finally make Billie his wife. Many were saying that it was bound to happen before the next election. She’d be sherif’s wife by Christmas, the gossip said. Edna, the police station secretary made the mistake of asking Lee and relaying all the gossip. It got him thinking. He was going to broach the idea with Billie. He had to. He already had a ring anyway. 

Before Lee could even start the car and drive away. Billie was kissing his neck. 

“Did you miss me, baby?” He teased. Pulling her closer to him. 

“I always miss you,” she scoffed, straddling his hips. 

“I missed you too,” he murmured against her lips. She ran her tongue against his. 

“You know,” he began, pulling back from the kiss, “You don’t have to miss me.” 

“What do you mean?” Billie giggled, staring at him, “I always miss you when you’re not around.” 

“I mean, you could miss me less,” Lee said. Billie’s smile dropped a bit. 

“What are talking about, honey?” She asked. 

“If we live together, we would see each other everyday. Wake up together, go to bed together,” he hummed, kissing her neck between each phrase. 

“Lee,” she scolded, pulling away from him. 

“Come on baby,” he huffed, “Be mine. Be mine forever. And don’t give me that whole song and dance about leaving. You want to be with me and I want to be with you. I could give you everything. Just let me.” 

“We’ve talked about this, I want to be independent for a while,” Billie grumbled. 

“Billie, come on. We’ve been together practically everyday for months. Why do you have to independent? You want to get married and have kids right?” He asked. 

“Of course, I do. But—“

“No. No buts. If you’re planning to have kids, you won’t be working that long anyway. So, pick the right man to have kids with. Pick me, baby,” Lee implored. Billie stared at him and slipped off his lap. 

“I was up front with you Lee. I told you I was going to leave and go to college. You knew that going in. I should go,” she whispered. Climbing out of the car. Lee ground his teeth before he got out of the car. 

“Billie,” he yelled, “get back here.” He stalked after her angrily. 

“Lee,” she sighed, turning to face him, “I can’t do this tonight. I can’t have this argument again.”

He gripped the tops of her arms, “What is it? Why won’t you marry me? Is there something I’m not doing? Are you embarrassed of me?”

“What?” She spat, “Of course not. You’re everything I want—“

“Then what is it? I love you, dammit,” he shouted. 

“Look, let’s just take a pause. We can talk tomorrow. We’re both upset,” she placated. 

“Fine,” he huffed, stalking back to his car and driving off before Billie had even reached the woods. Wheels spitting gravel, engine revving loudly as he drove away. Billie felt empty. What had she done? 

The next day the county fair started. It was the event of the summer. Everyone was there. And Billie was avoiding Lee after their fight the day before. But he spots her. She evades him all night. He finally corners her outside one of the livestock barns. 

“What is with you? You said we’d talk today and you’re fucking ignoring me,” He spat, shoving her against the barn and caging her in. Billie refuses to meet his gaze. Tears quickly well up and spill down her cheeks. 

“Baby,” he hums gently, “What’s wrong.” His hands move up to cup her face and his thumbs wipe the tears away. 

“Not here,” she shakes her head, “Let’s go for a drive.” 

“Alright,” Lee murmured. They walk silently to the cruiser and Lee drove a couple of miles down the road before he pulls off onto a side road. It’s not really a road, more like a trail in the woods that farmers use in the spring and summer as a short cut. 

Billie has tears running down her face. 

“Talk to me,” he begged. 

“I’m late,” she sobbed. It took Lee a few moments to catch on.

“Your period?”

“Yeah, I’m three weeks late. I thought it was just stress or something,” she cried, her voice breaking. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” he soothed, “I’ll take care of ya.” Lee’s heart is beating out of his chest with excitement, but he schools his features and voice to one of concern and anxiousness in order not to tip Billie off. 

“What are we gonna do?” She’s fully panicked now. Lee can hear that she’s nearly hyperventilating. 

“Shh, baby. You need to breathe, okay?” He said as he grabbed her face and forced her to look at him. She nodded slowly, breathing in and out steadily before Lee spoke again. 

“We have to tell your parents,” he began. Billie’s eyes grew comically large, she started to protest but Lee cut her off. 

“We’ll tell your parents. We’ll get married and no one will be the wiser. It’s okay,” he soothed, “I’ll be with you when you tell your parents. I promise I’ll take care of you.” His eyes shone with sincerity. 

“What… what if I’m not ready?” 

“You are. You’re perfect. Gonna take such good care of me and our baby,” Lee hummed as he kissed her. 

“Lee,” she protested. 

“Come on, sugar. You’ll be my good little housewife. I can’t wait to see you get round with my baby. You’re gonna look so sexy,” Lee groaned, he kissed from her lips to her neck as he spoke, “You’re all mine.” 

“Did you— did you plan this?” Billie asked, shoving him away. Lee narrowed his eyes at her. 

“It doesn’t matter how it happened. What’s done is done and you need me Billie,” he growled. Billie opened her mouth but no words came out. She was stunned. She shook her head back and forth, as she searched for the words. 

“You’re a bastard, Lee.” His jaw clicked from side to side when she said that. Without saying anything he started the car and drove. Billie didn’t question him on where they’re going. She knew she was in deep shit. It’s only when she sees the farmhouse come into view that she starts to panic. 

“No.”

“We’re telling your parents tonight.” 

“Lee, please don’t do this,” she begged. But he didn’t listen. 

“I wanted to be nice. I wanted to wait until after we got married. But you. You just couldn’t accept the nice future I had planned out for ya. So, if you want me to be the bastard, I will be. I’ll get you pregnant. Make you marry me.” He cut the engine and walked up to the house. Billie trudged behind him, she had no other choice. 

Lee knocked at the before Billie even reached him. Joy answered. 

“Deputy Bodecker,” she smiled, “To what do we owe the pleasure?” 

“Billie and I have something to tell you,” he said happily. What a master of disguise he was. He made Billie believe, really believe that he loved her and cared for her. But he showed his true colors the second she stopped listening to him. And now he’s wooing her mother. Making her believe he’s a nice, stand-up guy. Joy’s smile faltered when she realized the Billie was with Lee, but she let them both in all the same. Lee marched to the living room as if he owned the place. 

“John,” Joy called, “Lee and Billie want to talk to us.” John huffed, but turned the tv off. He gestured for Lee to sit. 

“Clara, why don’t you go upstairs,” Joy suggested. Clara was the only one of the children home. All the others were still at the fair. She nodded and walked away. Joy sat down, but Billie didn’t. 

“Honey,” Lee chuckled, “Come sit down.” She slowly went and sat by Lee. He was quick to wrap an arm around her. 

“She’s nervous,” he said, smile glued to his handsome face. 

“What’s going on?” John growled at Lee. 

“Billie is pregnant,” Lee responded. Joy gasped. John looked like a deer caught in headlights. Billie started crying again, and leaned forward to hide her face in her hands. Lee patted her back. 

“But, I don’t want ya’ll to worry,” Lee continued, “I’ll do right by her. I care for your daughter very much. We’re going to get married.” 

John harrumphed, “You can take her down to the courthouse tomorrow for all I care. I thought you knew better than to open your legs, girl. I know you’re mama taught you better than that.” 

“John,” Joy attempted to placate, “Let’s not be unkind. Lee is going to make this right.” 

“I don’t care if he can make it right. Your daughter is out there acting like a whore,” John roared standing up from his armchair. He crossed the room and slapped Billie across the face. 

“You have one week to get her out of my house,” John said to Lee, who looked up John and scowled. Billie couldn’t take one more minute, she jumped up and ran upstairs just as Sylvia walked through the door. If Sylvia was one thing, it was perceptive. She took one look at her father and Lee and chased after her sister. 

“Now get out of my house, Bodecker,” Lee narrowed his eyes, but obliged. He would make John pay for hitting Billie. 

Sylvia found Billie crying in a little ball on the floor. 

“What happened?” She asked her sister. 

“Lee g-got me pregnant and n-now I have to get married and I’m going to be stuck here in this stupid town forever,” Billie sobbed. 

“Shit,” Sylvia sighed. Clara crawled off of her bed to join her sisters on the floor, she squeezed Billie’s hand. She wasn’t one for talking, she wasn’t good at it. 

“I thought he loved me. But he manipulated me. I think he did it on purpose,” Billie choked through tears. 

Sylvia stood up and started pacing. 

“How much money you got?” She asked. 

“About $250,” Billie answered. 

“I got about $50 left over from babysitting. And I want you to take that,” Sylvia ordered. 

“I can’t take your money, Sylvie.” 

“Yes you can. Take it. Run away. Start over.” 

“I—I—I h—have t-t-ten dollars for you, Billie,” Clara spoke. 

“Take our money and go,” Sylvia said, “Consider it a thank you for all the years you took care of us.” 

“Are you sure?” Billie looked between her two sisters. Both nodded. 

“You have to go tonight. Go to the bus station and get out now,” Sylvia started to scheme. The girls helped Billie pack two bags that night. They rounded up and pooled their money. And at eleven that night, Billie snuck out and walked the three miles to the bus station. She waited until five in the morning and bought the first bus out to Cincinnati. But she didn’t stop there. From there she took another bus to New York. She figured she could disappear into the crowd there. She could say that her husband died and that she had no family left. She could get a job waitressing. Or maybe she could train as a secretary. It didn’t matter because she felt free. 

After two weeks in the city, she wrote her family and Lee a letter. She claimed that she wasn’t pregnant. That the stress from telling them and leaving town caused her to miscarry. She said that she couldn’t face any of them now. But that it didn’t diminish her love. She refused to come home. Billie did not include a return of address. She secretly sent Sylvia another letter at her boyfriends house. It included her phone number. Sylvia would call her once a month from a payphone and then from the phone at the local grocery store she worked at. The girls stayed in touch that way. Sylvia secretly relayed the information to Clara and when Joy got suspicious, to her too. 

Lee was distraught. He’d lost the love of his life and his baby in a matter of moments. He shouldn’t have made her tell her parents like that. But he couldn’t focus on it too long, because he was soon elected sheriff. He was married to the job. Then he started getting into business with the wrong people. Those terrible men he worked with gave him an idea. An awful idea. He wanted revenge against John and he would get it. 

@greeneyedblondie44

@bxnnywriting

[henyangwrites]

Our Love Story | w. yk

Pairing : Lucas x Reader

Genre : Fluff, a bit of angst?

Word count : 3k+

Warning : none, too much fluff if you squint

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆     ⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

I never thought that I'd come to this point, I never thought that I'll ever change my mind about getting married, let alone be with a guy for a long time. I never believe in fate, or destiny, or stuff of some sort but the gods must have their own way to change my mind.

Meeting Lucas wasn't really expected, we met each other at a party because our common friend, Ten, introduced us to each other. Cliché, I thought. We hung out throughout the remainder of our college days, we enjoyed each other's company with or without our other friends. They often teased us that we'll eventually end up together, but we shrugged and laughed it off. 

When we graduated, we separated ways as we all have started our own jobs, some even had to move places. It took a lot of adjustments, sleepless nights, crying, and breakdowns until I finally got the hang of it. I eventually left my first job after a few months, it wasn't working well for me, it felt like I was being held back from growing. I was lucky enough to find a job at a well-known company after a few months of searching, there, I found joy in my work. I felt more free, growth is always an option which of course, I keep on choosing. As a token of appreciation for my own hard work, I took a one week leave to have a vacation.

I was enjoying my time at the resort that I've decided to go to, it wasn't until my second day there that I happened to bump into Lucas who I soon found out was the general manager. We were happy to see each other, of course, since we lost contact when we separated ways in college as we both got caught up with work and personal life.

"You don't need to, Lucas." I declined his offer that he'll pay for all expenses I'll consume while staying, "I insist." "Lucas." He pouted when I sternly uttered his name, "Okay, I'll just give you a discount." "Okay." For the next days that I've spent there, Lucas often comes to check up on me, making sure that I was enjoying my time, even accompany me after his work hours. He doesn't change at all, physically he does, but he was the same bubbly, passionate, and caring guy that I met back in college. Running out of energy doesn't seem a part of his vocabulary, he's also still sweet as ever. On the last day, which was also his rest day, he offered me a ride to my apartment so I accepted.

For the next few months, we meet up together to hang out, even meeting up with our other friends when we have the chance. It's like it has became a constant thing for us to meet every weekend to relax, to go for a long drive and return to the city the next day. Or if we're feeling lazy, we're just gonna spend time at each other's apartments and wasting time watching movies or trying cooking different dishes. It felt like we were back to being those clueless college students, those young adults who were in the state of confusion between enjoying their youth or starting to prepare for the responsibilities that's waiting for us in the real world. It was one of those weekends where we're awake at 2AM, a random love song blasting through the speakers, loud enough for the both of us to hear without disturbing the neighbors. Lucas stood up laughing and pulled me along, his arms wrapping around my waist so I wrapped my arms around his neck. 

"Can I be honest with you?" He asked as we start swaying, I chuckled, "You're always honest with me, Yukhei." I answered, making him laugh lightly then licks his lips. "Well, there are things that I wasn't able to tell you…" I raised my eyebrows at him, thinking that he's not obligated to tell me everything. "The truth is…." He looked away for a moment as he cleared his throat, then, made eye contact with me after. His stare was intense, it felt like he's staring into my soul. "I'm in love with you." I felt my breath hitched, my heart beating faster than the times I have to present to the big boss of our company and the investors. "I know I shouldn't but…. I just can't help it, I thought it's just  a silly puppy love back in college but when I saw you again I just…. I just want to do everything to make you mine." A sigh escaped his lips, "but you don't have to love me back, I'm not asking you to. I just can't hold it back anymore."

"Lucas…." I don't know what to say, I was overwhelmed but I know I feel the same way, too, but my mind started to be filled with what ifs – what if it doesn't work out? What if we just end up hurting each other? What if he wants to get married when I don't want to? What if I end up breaking his heart? "It's okay, you don't have to say anything. I'm sorry for making things awkward–" "I love you too." I blurted out, fuck those what ifs, I thought, it's Lucas; every risk is worth it if it's him. "I told you–" I cut him off with a kiss, I closed my eyes when I felt him pull me closer to him as he deepened the kiss.

Just as expected, there's never a dull moment in our relationship as Lucas always had something up his sleeves. When we're not together, he often sends me messages to remind me to eat on time, to check whether I made it home safely, he even picks me up sometimes without telling me beforehand. He never made me feel like he's holding me back from growing, when I tell him that I need time for myself, he won't disturb me at all, just leaving a few text messages and just waits for me to text him again. He was patient, too understanding, it made me doubt myself – do I deserve him?

Two years into the relationship and it's like we're stronger than ever, a few petty fights now and then but it was immediately resolved, after all, he always finds a way to talk me out of it. We never really had a serious fight until the mention of marriage was brought up – he was ready to settle down, I wasn't yet. I was scared, the thought of marriage doesn't sit well with me, after witnessing how it ended up with the people around me, it made me doubt whether I could handle it if our marriage ends up that way. 

We didn't talk to each other for weeks, giving each other space to think about it. Anxiety got into me, what if he leaves me? What if he decides to just find somebody else who wants to get married as much as he does? It's not that I don't want to, I'm just scared. But it's Lucas. It's him, the man who has so much love to give, the man who puts up with me even at the times that I was hard to understand, the man who was patient enough to deal with me when I snap at him when I'm frustrated, the man who always root for me when I decide to try something new, the one who cheers me up when I'm at my lowest, the one who chooses me over anything anytime. He'll change, the other part of me thought, but fuck it, it's Lucas, there's no reason to doubt him.

When I made up my mind, I let a few more days to pass to make sure that I'll not change my decision before sending him a text. It's Friday so Lucas came as soon as he's done with his shift, it was awkward while we're eating dinner, after all, we didn't talked for weeks. "Uh…. what is it that you want to talk about?" He asked when I took the space next to him on the couch, it felt like there was a lump in my throat. "Uh…" I cleared my throat and turned my body to face him and he does the same, looking at me intently as he waits for me to continue. "About the wedding…" it was his turn to clear his throat, he must be nervous, thinking that I might break up with him as he knows why I don't like the thought of being married. "What about it?" "Lucas…. let's do it, let's get married." His eyes widened at my words, clearly shocked. "W-What?" "I said let's get married?" I repeated, "What? Why? If you're pressured or anything, don't make rash decisions, you don't need to. It's okay with me if you don't want to get married…" He said, sadness was evident in his voice, making me sigh and move closer to him and put my hands on the sides of his face, my thumbs are caressing his cheeks. "I do want to get married, I know I'm scared but it's you, Lucas, there's no reason to be scared, right?" His eyes softened and a smile appeared on his lips, "Are you sure?" He asked, I smiled at him and nodded. Then, he takes out something from his pocket and it was a velvet ring box. Lucas takes my hand and puts it on my ring finger, then looks at me again and said, "I'll never make you regret your decision."

Time flies, the preparations were stressful but fun, our families seem like they're more excited than us. Our college friends showered us with an endless amount of teasing, saying that we should've believed their words. During the last week before our wedding, we were too busy to see each other, our families didn't even let us see each other the night before the wedding day, a belief of some sort.

And there was it, the wedding program at the church ended before our eyes after exchanging vows, and of course, the reception was a whole different story. Laughter and tears filled the program as our parents gave their speech, telling our embarrassing stories, giving us advice, telling us how scary marriage is but we can work it out. Even our closest friends gave their own speech, which made the reception much more enjoyable with our college stories. Just when I thought it was done, the host, our friend Johnny, suddenly called him. 

"So Lucas, I heard you have a surprise for your bride?" Johnny asked, Lucas laughed and nodded, taking out a paper from the pocket of his suit. "Ah yes, I hope everyone is still awake for another round of speech." And everyone erupted into laughter, Johnny left him to give him his spotlight. I couldn't leave my eyes off of him, just what does he has in sleeves this time?

"So uh, love, hello." He started, "Oh wow, I never thought it would be this hard to give a speech in your own wedding." He joked, making me laugh, "There you go, don't be too nervous, it's not like I'm gonna expose you or something, or maybe I will?" He joked again, making me jokingly roll my eyes at him. "It's been what? 7 years? Yeah, 7 years since we first met each other at the party Ten held. Cliché, that's what you told me two years ago when we decided to date each other, the way we met. At first, it was just pure friendship for us, right? We hang out, study together, but do we, really?" Everyone laughs at his joke, "No I'm kidding, she's very studious, she doesn't like being disturbed back then, right?" He said and pretended to hand me the mic so I just nodded. "I've seen her more than a handful of times breaking down back then because of the deadlines, whenever I receive a text from her asking me if I want to go to get some ice cream, I just know she's stressed out. But I admire how she managed to finish every one of it few days before the deadline, and at the end, the lowest she got was like 96? As far as I could remember." My heart felt so warm, he always remembers the smallest details. "Our friends always tease us, saying that we should just date each other, it was a joke at first, but then I realized…. I was having a crush on her, I was able to realize it when we took a late night drive to the beach. Again, this is a cliché love story." He stopped for a moment then licked his lips, "while we're sitting on the sand and I turn my head to look at her while her eyes are closed, I felt peace, contentment." 

"But I never made a move at her, we still remained buddies that got each other when we're down or not. I thought it's just silly, little puppy love, but when graduation day came, it felt bittersweet knowing that we might never see each other again." "Boo!" Our friends jokingly whined at him, "I did wait for her to message me again after graduating, but we're adults, we have our own stuff to deal with so eventually, I just shrugged it off and just let life be. If we're meant to be together, then fate will do something. So I guess you're all curious how we met again?" He asked, and they answered yes in unison, making him grin. "So, you all know that I'm working at a resort, and she happened to be there for a one week vacation, and we happened to bump to each other while she was looking for the bar." "She's such an alcoholic." I heard my dad said which made the people laugh again. "Since then, we started hanging out again during weekends just like the old days until one night, I couldn't take it anymore and just confessed."

"Our relationship was fun, a healthy one they said, but you know what tested us? Marriage." Lucas stopped and nodded, "Yes, marriage. It's supposed to be a fun topic for couples, right? Well, not for her, at least. You see, my lovely wife here is scared of marriage due to reasons I can't disclose." He chuckled, "I don't know what changed her mind, but I'm glad she did, but even if she didn't, I'll still stay with her nonetheless." He looked at me then smiled sweetly, "then and there, I proposed to her and promised that I won't make her regret her decision." At that moment, I started tearing up. "I know I may not be the perfect boyfriend, or husband, but for her, I'll do everything I can just so she wouldn't get hurt, let alone get bitten by a mosquito." He joked once again, "She's always been the confident and independent one, there are days that we don't talk to each other because she needed her space and I was like okay, I needed mine too, like we're not really all over each other. And that's what I love about her, she doesn't need to talk to me everyday just so she could say that I love her, she doesn't ask for anything at all so I'm just yeah, fuck it, I'm just gonna surprise her." He chuckles, "She's really stubborn, like if I said I'm gonna pay for our dinner, she'll say she's gonna pay for hers, since then, I started paying in secret before we eat just so she couldn't do anything about it." 

"She's not the showy type, a total opposite of me, she barely posts anything about us, but I never once doubt that because that's just how she is – she likes keeping things private, we go on a date? Okay, one picture, we go for a vacation? Okay, a few of it and then that's just it." I laugh at his description because that's how I really am, "And most of all, she's fragile, I had to learn that the hard way. She's strong yet so fragile, but she can't show it, so I had to teach her that it's okay to be fragile sometimes, she has me, she can vent to me anytime of the day, she can cry in my arms when she's tired." I didn't notice that I was crying until he walks towards me and wipes my tears, "Wait. I'm not done yet." He joked, making me laugh a bit, "Nah, I'm kidding. I already told you everything that I want to, I just need to say this one." He steps back and looks at his parents, "Ma, Pa, I want to thank you for raising me to be a man I am today. For constantly guiding me, for reminding me to always be kind to everyone, that it's okay to give more than to receive." Then he faces my parents, "And Mom, Dad, thank you for giving birth to this lovely lady right here." He said and pats my head, "And for giving your blessings to us, for entrusting her to me. I won't promise that we'll have a perfect marriage, but we'll do our best to keep our love strong." Then he turns to me, reaching out for my hand as he looks at me with the most loving expression in his eyes. "And to my lovely wife, I love you, today, tomorrow, and for the days to come, I will love you. You're the best one the gods have blessed me with, so no matter what problems we'll face, through good times or bad times, in sickness and in health, I will be with you. I thank the gods for giving me the chance to be yours in this lifetime, and I hope for the next lifetime we'll have, you will find your way back into my arms again."

[maraudersbutmuggle]

Summer 2012, Part 3

Check out part 1, and part 2.

Remus heard Grant talk and talk for hours. It was fascinating how he could talk, chew and text at the same time. Grant talked about random things about his day, how a lady yelled at him earlier, how much he loved the enchiladas he was eating, inserting facts about random people in the restaurant, or the lemonade they were drinking. Remus had never smiled so much in his life. He didn't have to try. Grant was doing everything to maintain them entertained.

"So why Remus?" Grant asked with his mouth full "Are your parents into Greek Mythology? That name is greek right? I think I read somethin' about him? Was he like a great hero or something?"

Remus smiled. That was the issue. Should he tell Grant about him being trans? Choosing his own name?

"My mum is a historian, yes" Remus nodded "And Remus comes from Roman Mythology actually"

Maybe not. He just met the guy.

"Really?"

"Yeah" Remus laughed at Grant's genuine amazement "Him and his brother Romulus kind of founded the city of Rome"

"Lovely" Grant nodded enthusiastically "Is your mum nice?"

Remus had never heard such a direct question. Everyone he had met had been careful to ask him stuff. The Marauders were extra careful since they found out about his secret.

"She is nice" Remus nodded

Grant smirked "How come you were in the street crying then?"

"I wasn't crying" Remus blushed

Grant laughed. He kept eating. Wow, he was really hungry.

"My dad is an idiot"

Remus didn't know why he was telling this to Grant. He barely knew him. But he felt like telling someone.

"He doesn't accept me as I am"

"Because you're gay" Grant said like it was the most normal thing.

Remus was surprised. He never thought about it that way. Was he gay? He had liked two people in his life that way, Sirius and right now perhaps Grant. And David Bowie. But that was different. No girls.

Maybe he was gay... He was a boy into boys...

"I get it" Grant continued "Margot would definitely kick me out if she finds out I'm a puff"

And Grant kept eating. Ignoring how Remus was genuinely blushing.

"Amm... Grant?"

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"How do you I'm..."

Grant laughed "I didn'. I was testin' ya. And now you have confirmed it"

Remus blinked. Grant laughed, shaking his head. Remus smiled.

"Who is Margot?" Remus asked "Your mum?"

Grant shook his head "I don' know me mum. Or me dad" he shrugged "I was dumped in a church door when I was a baby" Lemonade sip "Margot is the lady that raised me"

Shit...

"Oh, ah... I'm sorry" Remus twisted his sweater nervously

Grant snorted "Don't worry sweetheart, that's not your fault" he said "I least I had a home"

Remus felt guilty. He had been hating his father for the last two hours. And Grant didn't even have a dad.

"I've two theories" Grant said rolling his fork on his fingers "My parents were hormonal teens that didn' use a condom..."

Remus snorted. Then he regretted it.

"Or they 'loved me very much'..." he used a sarcastic tone "And didn't have money to raise me. Maybe prefered to by drugs or boose or whatever"

Remus was surprised on how Grant was so chilled about the subject. Maybe he was very good at pretending or something.

"So you sell fags?" Remus tried to change the subject

Grant smiled adoringly.

"I'm savin' for Uni" he said "Who else is gonna pay for dat?"

Remus nodded, smiling.

"Alright. Then I want a pack"

"I thought you said you said you didn' have money..."

Remus shrugged. "I can get it..."

"Nah ah" Grant raised a finger and shook his head "I promise it was free, didn' I?"

"But..."

"Smoke with me, and maybe you can give me your number"

Remus blushed.

They paid for the meal and went outside. Grant dragged Remus to climb to a roof a few blocks away. They could see the beautiful city of London from there. Remus smiled.

"This is my favorite place" Grant said putting a cig between his lips, he offered one to Remus "Tell me sweetheart, who taught ya to smoke?" he smiled

Remus smiled "Well..."

Remus began with the story. But he felt Grant intense glare on him. He tried to ignore it. Grant would

occasionally hum. So Remus continued. Mainly looking at the city.

"So yeah... I took the first drag and coughed. Not like my friends though..."

Remus stopped. Grant was close now. He wasn't smiling like before. He was pretty serious. (No fuck you Sirius, get out of my head, not right now). Remus looked at Grant staring at him. Grant leaned in carefully, and gave Remus a kiss.

Remus had never kissed anyone before. He had been tired of Sirius, James and Peter talking about snogging, their first kisses (most of them at the Spin The Bottle Game), and James talking and talking about Mary, who he dated last year.

Remus understood what it was all the fuss about. Kissing felt nice. Not nice. Incredible. His stomach rolled in pleasure feeling Grant's tongue on his mouth. He tasted like something chilli, cigarettes and mint.

When Grant broke apart, Remus' lips were wet, his face was red and hot. Grant smiled and continued to smoke as if nothing happened.

"So that was kissing" Remus murmured mostly to himself. He was in shock. And oh damn, he was definetely gay.

Grant giggled "Was that your first kiss?"

Remus blushed. Shit. Sixteen was probably late to have the first kiss. He nodded.

"You're so adorable, sweetheart" Grant smirked "Let's get you your second then"

And Grant leaned over again. This time, Remus was ready.

[kjack89]

Determination of Death (pt. 2/2)

Continued from here.

All of the angst. If y’all thought this was going to secretly be angst with a happy ending, well...you’ve got another think coming.

Former E/R, modern AU. CW: car accident, major injuries, discussion of end of life care, referenced major character death.

Joly led the way out of the meeting room, and Grantaire remembered only upon seeing the expectant faces staring at them from the waiting room that no one else knew what was going on. “Oh, and can you, uh, fill everyone else in?” he asked Joly weakly, unable to bring himself to look any of them in the eye. “You have my permission, or whatever.”

“Of course,” Joly said quietly. “Though you should know...they’ll probably have some opinions on what decision you should make.”

Grantaire snorted. “Your friends? Having opinions? I’m shocked, I tell you. Shocked.”

Joly cracked a small smile. “Sarcasm doesn’t become you,” he informed Grantaire. “It never has. Besides, it’s ‘our’.”

Grantaire frowned at his back. “Our what?”

“Our friends. Not just mine.”

Grantaire’s expression softened. “Maybe that was true before—” he started, but he broke off when Joly came to an abrupt stop outside of a hospital room door. “Is this it?”

Joly nodded. “Do you want me to come in with you?”

Grantaire’s initial instinct was to say no, but judging by the look on Joly’s face, it wouldn’t hurt to have someone with him, at least at first. “Yeah,” he said. “Please.”

“Of course.” Joly pushed the door open and held it for Grantaire, who took a deep breath before stepping into the room. It was quiet, especially compared to the chaos of the hospital; the only sounds were the beeping from the heart monitor and whooshing sound from what Grantaire assumed was the ventilator. 

And there, lying on the hospital bed, more still than Grantaire had ever seen him, was Enjolras.

Even with Enjolras’s head bandaged, even with his face bruised and bloody, even with tubes coming out of him from seemingly every angle, Grantaire still would have recognized him. Every line in Enjolras’s body was as familiar to Grantaire as breathing, even now, even like this, even after so much time had passed since he had last seen him.

He crossed to him almost without thinking, drawn as always to Enjolras like a moth to a flame. But this time, Enjolras didn’t glance up at him in irritation for disturbing him when he was working, or with his expression softening when he saw it was Grantaire. He didn’t tilt his head up automatically for a kiss or roll his eyes and brush Grantaire off. He didn’t scrunch his nose and groan because the alarm clock just went off and he didn’t want to get up yet.

He just lay there, completely still, and even though Grantaire had been expecting it, had been bracing himself for it, it still knocked the breath out of him.

Grantaire reached automatically for his hand, running his thumb automatically over the bare spot on Enjolras’s ring finger where his wedding ring had once sat. He wondered briefly what Enjolras had done with it. Grantaire used to joke to anyone who would listen that he had chucked his into the ocean because good fucking riddance, but he hadn’t – his wedding ring was in the back of the top drawer of his dresser. 

He had never been able to articulate why he kept it, but looking at Enjolras lying there like that, feeling the way his own heart stuttered in his chest, he thought he might’ve finally figured it out.

“He’s so warm,” he remarked absently, turning Enjolras’s hand over in his own, rubbing the pad of his thumb across Enjolras’s palm in a way that used to make the man laugh and scold him for tickling him, though there was no reaction now. “I don’t know what I was expecting—”

That wasn’t quite true. He had expected him to be cold.

He had expected him to be dead.

Sympathy was clear in Joly’s expression, and he reached out to gently touch Grantaire’s shoulder. “Are you ok?” he asked softly. 

Of course he wasn’t ok – he was never going to be ok again. But he forced a smile for Joly, and jerked a nod. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m fine.” He cleared his throat, looking back down at Enjolras again. “How – how soon do I need to make a decision?”

“Like I said, we’ll retest for brain activity in a few hours. If we still see some functioning, you technically have as long as you want or need—”

“Joly.” Grantaire didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t need to know – Joly knew him well enough to know he just wanted a straight answer.

“But I’d recommend making a decision on withdrawal of care sooner rather than later, especially if you want to donate his organs,” Joly finished. “The sooner we can harvest them, the better the chances are that they won’t suffer any damage.”

Grantaire nodded again, and Joly squeezed his shoulder. “If you need anything, just push the call button. I’m gonna…” Joly had to pause and clear his throat. “I’m gonna go fill everyone else in.”

“Good luck,” Grantaire told him, meaning it more than he could possibly convey. Joly patted him on the shoulder once more before leaving, and Grantaire was alone with Enjolras.

He had imagined this moment so many times, but never like this.

He sat down in one of the chairs next to Enjolras’s bed without letting go of Enjolras’s hand. Part of him wanted to touch Enjolras, to run his fingers across his cheekbone or trace the line of his jaw, but the bruising and swelling stopped him.

The last thing he wanted to do was cause Enjolras any more pain than he already had.

Instead, he raised Enjolras’s hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to his knuckles like he had done a thousand times before. “Hey Enj,” he whispered. “It’s been a long time, huh? I know you said you never wanted to see me again, but...I think given the circumstances, we can make an exception.”

Enjolras didn’t respond, and Grantaire just sat like that for a long time, holding Enjolras’s hand in both of his, completely unaware of anything else, including the tears that streamed down his cheeks.

----------

Maybe it was the fact that he’d gotten no sleep the night before, or maybe it was the unbearable emotional trauma, but at some point Grantaire must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, someone was shaking his shoulder gently. “Hey,” Joly said, sounding just as tired as Grantaire felt. “I figured you could use some company.”

Grantaire slowly sat up, looking automatically at Enjolras, who hadn’t so much as shifted in the bed. He was still holding Enjolras’s hand, and he squeezed it once, even though he knew he wouldn’t get a response. “I’m always happy for company, but you’ve had an impossibly long day. Shouldn’t you be getting home and getting some sleep?”

“I actually wasn’t talking about myself,” Joly said, opening the door. “I brought some other folks who want to see Enjolras.” Grantaire blinked as all of Les Amis filed in, many with telltale red eyes and exhaustion tightening their features. “Visitors are supposed to be limited to no more than four, but I figured no one in the hospital would mind. Provided, um, you don’t mind either.”

As if Grantaire could very well kick them out now that they were all in there, looking at him expectantly. “Of course not,” Grantaire mumbled, looking back at Enjolras before standing up stiffly. “Someone else can sit with him for a bit—”

The words were barely out of his mouth before Combeferre and Courfeyrac had sat down, Courfeyrac taking Enjolras’s hand, and Grantaire bit back the jealousy he had absolutely no right to feel at that.

He ducked his head as he pushed through to the back of the room, nodding in response to the few murmured greetings he got from the friends he hadn’t seen in almost as long as he hadn’t seen Enjolras. He found himself next to Jehan, who didn’t even hesitate, looping his arm through Grantaire’s and pulling him close, resting his head against Grantaire’s shoulder as if no time had passed at all.

“You doing ok?” he asked him in an undertone, and Grantaire just shrugged.

“Define alright,” he murmured, giving Jehan a tight, strained smile. “I’m alive. Which is about where the bar is at right now.”

Jehan stifled a laugh, which Grantaire found a little gratifying. Then again, if anyone would appreciate morbid humor at a time like this…

Judging by the dirty look Feuilly shot him from his other side, Jehan was about the only one who appreciated it.

He forced himself to look at Enjolras, watching as Combeferre reached up to rest a hand lightly on the top of Enjolras’s head, almost as if he was trying to stroke Enjolras’s hair despite it being hidden by bandages. Courfeyrac let out a shaky sigh. “He could almost be sleeping,” he said.

It took everything in Grantaire not to laugh, though clearly something of what he was feeling must’ve shown on his face, because Jehan arched an eyebrow at him. “What?” he whispered.

Grantaire shook his head, not intending on explaining, but this time, it wasn’t just Feuilly who gave him a look – everyone swiveled to stare at him, as if he had just sworn in church or something. “Nothing, it’s just…” Grantaire cleared his throat. “Clearly none of you ever saw Enjolras sleep. He was the least peaceful sleeper of all time. I think I’ve still got the bruises on my legs from him kicking me as he thrashed around, and it’s been a few years since I was subjected to it. It was like sleeping with a very large, particularly violent fish.”

Bossuet looked very much like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or cry. “That’s – that’s horrible.”

Grantaire shrugged, managing another small smile. “Maybe. But it’s also true.”

“I really don’t think,” Combeferre interjected, his voice sharp, “that this is an appropriate topic of conversation. If this is the type of thing you want to talk about, maybe you should step outside.”

Combeferre’s disapproval was hardly anything new, and maybe it was just because Grantaire’s nerves were stretched to the breaking point as it was, but he met Combeferre’s icy glare with one of his own. “And seeing as how this is still my husband and I’m still his medical proxy and you’re all here with my permission, maybe you should go fuck yourself,” he said pleasantly.

Combeferre stood up so suddenly that Courfeyrac, who had been resting his head against Combeferre’s shoulder, was almost knocked out of his chair. “Is that really how you want to do this?” he snapped, angrier than Grantaire had ever heard him. “You want a long, protracted legal battle while we get a judge to agree that while you were married to him for all of thirty seconds, we’re his family?:

Joly cleared his throat. “Guys—”

“Good luck with that,” Grantaire said with a smirk. “Just because you hate me doesn’t change the law. I know this wasn’t what you had in mind when you marched and protested in favor of gay marriage, but unintended consequences and all that—”

“Guys,” Joly repeated, louder this time. “All of you need to go outside. It’s time for us to do Enjolras’s repeat brain function tests.”

It was as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Combeferre’s shoulders slumped, and all the fight left Grantaire just as quickly. They all filed out just as they had filed in, though this time, Grantaire went with them, refusing to look back at Enjolras, mainly because he wasn’t sure he would make it outside if he did. 

As soon as he got out in the hallway, Grantaire slumped with his back against the wall, slowly sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. He wanted nothing more than to hide his head in his hands, to block the world out so that he could pretend this was all a bad dream that he might still wake up from.

But that would just delay the inevitable, and Grantaire had never much cared for that option.

Instead, he forced himself to look up at Combeferre, who was avoiding looking at him. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, and Combeferre’s eyes met his. “Of course I don’t want that. And I didn’t mean—”

“Neither did I,” Combeferre told him, exhaustion clear in his expression. “I know Enjolras loved you. Even after everything. We all do.” Grantaire glanced around the circle of his former friends, and all of them were nodding. His chest suddenly felt too tight, but before he could say anything, Combeferre continued, “And you know just as much as any of us. Probably better than most of us.” Combeferre gave Grantaire a tentative smile. “Besides, he and I had to share a bed at a conference once and I’m pretty sure I limped for about a month afterwards from how many times he kicked me.”

But Grantaire didn’t smile, Combeferre’s words picking open a scab on his heart that he hadn’t even realized he’d been carrying with him. “I don’t know him anymore,” he said softly, and Combeferre’s smile disappeared. “I mean, honestly, I don’t know if I ever did. I thought I did once, maybe. But now…”

He trailed off, and they all fell into silence. After a few minutes like that, quiet, unrelated conversations broke out. Grantaire watched all these people he had once considered his closest friends, watched Courfeyrac wrap his arms around Pontmercy from behind, resting his head against Marius’s back because Marius was too tall for him to rest his chin on his shoulder. He watched as Jehan and Combeferre sat down across the hall, discussing some article they had both read in quiet tones, both clearly looking for a distraction. Bahorel and Feuilly offered to get coffee for anyone who wanted it, and both headed in the direction of the cafeteria, neither walking quite as fast as they usually did. Bossuet sat next to a pretty woman in scrubs who Grantaire didn’t know but realized must be Musichetta, who he had heard about but never gotten a chance to meet before everything fell apart. 

That was nice, Grantaire thought distractedly. They all had someone.

Well, except for him. 

Grantaire was alone.

When the door to Enjolras’s room opened and Joly stepped out, all conversation died. Joly’s expression was unreadable as he looked down at Grantaire. “We should talk privately,” he said, but Grantaire shook his head.

“Whatever you have to say, you might as well tell all of us,” he said tiredly. “Saves you from just having to repeat it in five minutes.”

Joly nodded. “Ok,” he said before taking a deep breath and glancing around at all of them. “The scans revealed the same level of brain activity as before. Meaning he is not legally brain dead.”

Grantaire groaned, tipping his head back to rest it against the wall. “So the ball’s in my court,” he said heavily, and Joly nodded again.

“Yes. It’s your decision where we go from here.”

Grantaire exhaled sharply before barking a laugh. “You know, the irony is, he said that I would know,” he said to no one in particular.

“What?” Combeferre asked, his brow furrowed.

“That’s why he picked me,” Grantaire said, staring up at the ceiling. “I told Enjolras when we got married that he should still make Pontmercy his medical proxy like everyone else did. Told him that I would probably be right there with him getting my ass kicked so I’d be useless anyway. But he said that he trusted me.” Tears pricked in the corners of Grantaire’s eyes but he didn’t bother trying to stop them as they fell. “He said that I’d know when his work was done, when it was time to let him go.”

Silence again fell over everyone, but this time, it was Bahorel who broke it, blurting, “That’s seriously what you two would talk about?” Everyone stared at him, and he shrugged, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I just – I always wondered.”

“I think we all did,” Jehan muttered, and Grantaire cracked a smile.

“In fairness, we talked about a lot of things, not just what to do in the case of a traumatic injury.” His smile faded. “But given the likelihood that he’d get his head bashed in at a protest one day, it wasn’t exactly a random hypothetical.” 

But in the end, it hadn’t been Enjolras’s activism that had killed him, the way Grantaire always feared it would. It had been a car accident, a random, cruel accident that had ended his entire world, and he was sure there was some lesson to be drawn from that, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care.

Instead, he twisted his head to look up at Joly. “Anyway, I, uh, I need some time.”

“Of course,” Joly said instantly. “Take as much time as you need.”

Grantaire looked away, glancing around the circle before adding, “And, um, everyone should take some time with him. To say...whatever you need to say.”

He let them work out who was going to go in first as he instead picked himself up off the floor and made his way over to Marius to ask in an undertone, “Can we talk?”

Marius nodded, looking concerned, and they walked away down the hallway. “What’s up?” he asked when they were out of earshot.

Grantaire let out a shaky breath. “I, uh...honestly?” He let out a noise that might’ve been a cough, or a very dry laugh. “It’s going to sound stupid, but I wanted to make sure I haven’t committed tax fraud.”

Whatever Marius had been expecting, that was clearly not it, since he stared at Grantaire as if he’d grown a second head. “Tax fraud?” he repeated.

“Yeah, since I’ve been under the impression that I’ve been divorced, I’ve been filing my taxes as single.”

Marius barked a laugh, quickly covering his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s not funny. None of this is funny. I just can’t believe that’s what you’re worried about.”

Grantaire flinched. “I mean, I’m worried about a lot of things. This is just something that I can do something about.” He glanced at Marius. “Or not, and the IRS is putting a warrant out for my arrest as we speak.”

Marius laughed again, but gentler this time. “You will not be going down for tax fraud,” he said. “The designation is single or married filing separately, which you technically are. Or were.”

The past tense was like a knife to the gut, and Grantaire jerked a nod. “Good,” he said hollowly. “Because if I go down for tax fraud because Enjolras forgot to file our fucking divorce papers, I swear to God, I’ll kill him myself.”

Something shifted in Marius’s expression. “You know, I’m not sure he did.”

“Did what?” Grantaire asked tiredly.

“Forget,” Marius said, before adding in what he clearly thought was a helpful way, as if Grantaire was incapable of following the simple thread of the conversation, “To file the papers, I mean. I think he didn’t file them on purpose.”

Grantaire stared blankly at him. “And yet he clearly didn’t want to be married to me, so…”

Marius shrugged. “Maybe not. I can’t speak to that.” He hesitated before telling Grantaire, “Technically this is breaking attorney-client privilege, but...he came to me, after you had signed the papers. And he asked me what would happen to his trust fund in the divorce.”

“His trust fund?” Grantaire asked blankly.

“Yeah,” Marius said. “According to your pre-nup, in the case of divorce, all of his original assets revert to his sole ownership, save for what he would owe in spousal support.”

Grantaire shifted uncomfortably. “Look, I never wanted his money—”

“But Enjolras didn’t want that,” Marius continued as if Grantaire hadn’t spoken. “He wanted to make sure you had more than that. So I started to tell him about the process of signing over certain trusts to your name, and he blew me off. Said he’d take care of it.”

“Right.” 

Grantaire wasn’t sure what he was agreeing with, but it didn’t really matter, since Marius ignored him. “But I think what he meant is that he’d take care of you.”

Again, Grantaire’s chest felt painfully tight. “By pretending we were divorced?” he asked skeptically.

Marius shrugged again. “Well, I’ve never once argued that the man’s methods were anything resembling sane, but…” Almost despite himself, Grantaire laughed and Marius managed a small smile. “But yeah, I think that was what he was trying to do.” 

Grantaire shook his head slowly. “After all this time...I really didn’t think he could surprise me anymore.”

“He loved you,” Marius said simply. “I don’t know what happened between you two, and frankly, I don’t want to. But I know that much is true.” Grantaire couldn’t seem to speak, but Marius looked like he understood. “Anyway,” he said, “can I answer any other legal questions for you? Or do anything at all?”

Grantaire was about to tell him no when a sudden realization hit. “Actually, yes,” he said. “Can you get Combeferre and Courfeyrac for me? I want to talk to them.”

---------

As it turned out, between everyone saying their goodbyes to Enjolras and the general chaos of the hospital, including a very angry nurse coming to tell them that they were all liable to get kicked out if they didn’t keep it down, Grantaire didn’t get a chance to talk to Combeferre and Courfeyrac together until it was just the three of them left in Enjolras’s hospital room. Combeferre and Courfeyrac were seated on either side of Enjolras, and Grantaire stood at the end of the bed, wanting to be anywhere but there, talking about anything but what he needed to.

“What would you two do?” he asked finally, when the silence had gotten truly unbearable.

Combeferre looked sharply at him. “Legally, it’s not our decision to make.”

“I know that,” Grantaire said tiredly. “But you knew him better than I did these past few years, and I want to know what you would do.”

Combeferre and Courfeyrac exchanged glances, and it was Courfeyrac who spoke first. “Enjolras wanted to help people,” he said simply. “Yeah, his aim was always more systemic, because he knew as well as any of us that to truly help folks in the long term required breaking the system that was oppressing them in the first place, but that’s still what he wanted to do: to help.” He paused and took a deep breath. “And I think that in this case, even though it’s not a systemic help, he would still want to help people with his death, if he could. So I would– I would withdraw life support so that he could donate his organs.”

Grantaire nodded slowly. “What about you?” he asked Combeferre hoarsely.

Combeferre shook his head, looking back at Enjolras. “I know what the statistics are,” he said, his voice low. “And logic would say that pulling the plug probably makes the most sense, given the odds of him recovering. But as long as there is a chance, any chance…” He swallowed. “Science is progressing rapidly and he could live like this for years, until they’ve developed a treatment that could bring him back to us. We learn more about the brain and healing from brain injuries every single day, and he deserves a chance to see if we discover how to heal him.” He raised his chin as he looked back at Grantaire, something like defiance in his expression. “His work is not done, and I can’t imagine him giving up that chance, no matter how slim the odds are.”

Again Grantaire nodded. “In other words, you’re both completely fucking useless.”

“Enjolras said as much, many, many times,” Courfeyrac said with something like his usual cheerfulness. “Everytime he wanted us to agree with him on something and we didn’t.”

“So like, once a week, at least,” Combeferre muttered, and he and Courfeyrac exchanged a smile at the shared memory. Then he looked back at Grantaire. “But at the end of the day, we’re not the ones making this choice. He didn’t—” His voice broke. “He didn’t choose us. He chose you. And you know him better than you think you do, because you know the parts of him that none of us ever got to see.”

Grantaire opened his mouth to argue with that, but Courfeyrac stood, squeezing Enjolras’s hand once more before releasing it. “We should leave you alone,” he said softly. “Give you some time with him.” He looked at Grantaire, his eyes shining. “Whatever choice you make, you have my full support. Because despite everything, I know you loved him. And that’s enough for me.”

Grantaire could feel tears threatening to fall again, but this time, he brushed them forcefully away as Combeferre and Courfeyrac slipped away. Grantaire took Combeferre’s vacated seat, staring down at Enjolras as if the man might give him a sign, any sign.

He had hoped Combeferre and Courfeyrac would give him some kind of clarity, but he should’ve known they wouldn’t. Especially since they were both completely wrong.

They had known Enjolras, yes, and loved him, but they hadn’t loved him like Grantaire had. Like Grantaire still did. Loving Enjolras for Grantaire had always meant seeing more than just the leader of Les Amis, but seeing the whole man, even for all his many, many faults. Enjolras cared deeply like Courfeyrac had said, yes, but not about helping any one person; he cared only about destroying the systems that kept people in whatever metaphoric chains he cared about that week. He wouldn’t be swayed by the argument that he could save lives or else he would’ve been a living kidney or partial liver donor. 

And he wasn’t a hopeless believer either like Combeferre seemed to think. The thought of Enjolras waiting around for a miracle that might not even happen was utterly laughable. The man’s patience was non-existent. He wouldn’t be content to lie in bed for years on end. He was a man of action, and if there was nothing actionable, it wasn’t anything worth his time. It was, after all, probably why he had been so quick to give up on them, since there wasn’t anything left for him to do or fix.

There was only one argument that would sway Enjolras, one way or another. An argument about the Cause, about the work left undone, and as much as Grantaire was the wrong messenger for anything relating to the Cause or Enjolras’s work, he knew that only he could tell Enjolras what he needed to hear.

Grantaire would obviously never know, but he couldn’t help but think that this was why Enjolras had chosen him. Because whatever else he was, or wasn’t, had been or hadn’t, Enjolras was already gone. Whether they removed the ventilator today or tomorrow or in a week or a year, Enjolras would not be any less gone.

But Grantaire had already lost him, years ago now, and maybe that’s why Enjolras had let this be his decision. 

Because he was the only one who could make it.

And he knew what he had to do.

So he squeezed Enjolras’s hand one more time before standing and going to the door, his eyes clear for the first time all day. “Can you get Joly for me?” he asked Courfeyrac, who was standing closest to the door as if keeping watch. “I’ve made my decision.”

----------

Grantaire stroked the top of Enjolras’s head, pretending that the rough bandages under his fingers were instead the fine blond curls he had never quite been able to capture with the right color when he painted Enjolras. He had spent hours some evenings just running his fingers through Enjolras’s hair, watching the different shades of gold tumble through his fingers, while Enjolras had worked on something or other. 

He would always miss that, in particular, those evenings they spent just the two of them. He would always miss the version of Enjolras that had been his husband. But that was an old hurt now, no matter how much circumstances might make it feel brand new again.

“Damn you,” he said, which wasn’t exactly how he had anticipated starting his goodbye speech, but if he couldn’t be honest in these last moments, then when could he? “Damn you for loving me, and leaving me, and still somehow putting me in this position. For making me be the one to decide, and the one who has to live with that for the rest of my life. You always were an asshole, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but…”

He trailed off, and took Enjolras’s hand, lacing their fingers together, marveling as he always had at how well their hands fit together. There had been a part of them that had always worked, even when nothing else between them seemed to, and it had been that part that he had clung to even when they were well past their expiration date. 

He wondered if that was the part that had stopped Enjolras from filing the papers.

“We were supposed to die together,” he whispered, the breath hitching in his throat. “That’s what I promised, when we got married. That we would be together until we were old. And even if we died early, because of a protest gone bad or something, I still just assumed it’d be you and me leaving together. I never– I never thought I’d be the one left behind.”

He lifted Enjolras’s hand to his mouth again, this time pressing a kiss to the finger where, years ago, he had placed his ring and promised Enjolras he would love him forever. “I didn’t lie, you know,” he told Enjolras. “I still love you. I never stopped loving you.” He shook his head slowly. “I will you until the day I die, no matter if you’re still here or not. And—” His voice broke. “And Joly wasn’t supposed to tell me this, I think it’s supposed to be confidential, but...at least a part of you will still be here. Because there’s a 10-year-old girl in Pennsylvania who’s going to get your kidney. And a 45-year-old father of two who’s getting part of your liver. And your heart—” Again his voice broke. “And your heart is going to keep beating for a very long time because it’s going to a 28-year-old woman.” 

When Joly had told him where Enjolras’s organs were going, when Grantaire signed all the consent forms, he had told him as if it was a comfort, somehow, as if Grantaire didn’t now have a list of people to resent because they were going to live, and Enjolras was not. 

But it was better than no comfort at all.

“You have done more in your brief life than most people could accomplish in two lifetimes,” Grantaire continued, “and more importantly, you are leaving behind people who will continue doing your work. That’s the part of you that I know you care about, so you can rest easy knowing that they will carry you with them for the rest of their lives, fighting the battles you always wanted to. And as for the rest, well—” He was sure that he was crushing Enjolras’s hand with how tightly he held it. “I’ll carry that with me. I’ve got you, I promise. I always have.”

He had figured he would cry, would weep, but instead, he felt strangely at peace, looking down at Enjolras and telling him all of the things he had always wanted to say but had never been able to bring himself to. Just their fucked up luck that it had taken this. 

He leaned in close, his voice no more than a whisper as he told him, fiercely, “Others will take your place in the Cause, and keep fighting. I promise you that. So you can rest now, ok?” He bent over Enjolras and kissed his forehead, his eyelids fluttering closed. “It’s all I ever wanted for you, was for you to rest. And maybe this is selfish of me, maybe it's the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t care.” He opened his eyes, searching Enjolras’s face for some sign, any sign, that he heard, that he understood. He knew he wouldn’t find any, but that didn’t matter. 

“The work will never be done, but your part in it is.” His voice cracked. “I love you, and you can stop fighting now.”

They stayed like that for a long moment, Grantaire holding onto Enjolras with everything that he had left. Then a nurse poked her head into the room. “Are you ready?” she asked softly.

It was an asinine question. Of course Grantaire wasn’t ready. He was never going to be ready.

But he jerked a nod anyway and stood, taking a step back so the flurry of doctors and nurses could make Enjolras ready to move, so they could take him to the operating room where they would remove his life support and take the organs he was able to donate. “I love you,” he told Enjolras one last time, something desperate in his voice. “I love you. Don’t fight anymore, ok? Just...just rest.” 

“Sir,” one of the nurses said, her voice gentle. “Sir, you have to let him go.”

“Oh,” Grantaire said numbly. “Of course.”

And he let go of Enjolras’s hand.