#I’m going bankrupt guaranteed

[test-url-please-ignore]

Might make a Lovebug (and loveplague) design for Wesley if y’all would be interested in something like that

also sorry for the lack of art, but hey I have a break coming up soon so maybe I’ll have more time then!

[archiveikemen]

Jude Jazza 1st Birthday Campaign: Story (2023)

His POV

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

Ellis: Jude, this is…

I had just returned to the castle after work when my assistant handed me a memo with an usually serious look on his face.

“Happy birthday, I have your woman with me.”

Jude: — Ah?

…

— A few hours ago.

Kate: Is it your birthday today?

Kate asked the moment she saw my face. Who knows where she got that information from.

(What a nuisance.)

Knowing what was going to happen, I ignored the question and left my seat.

I had just finished my breakfast, and it was time for me to leave for work.

Kate: I just happened to find out earlier on. Is there anything in particular that you need or want?

Jude: I don’t know, you can go ahead and sing a song or something. Oh, but do it when I’m not around.

Kate: Won’t that be meaningless?

Jude: Do I have to spell it out for you? I don’t need anything.

Kate had become significantly less wary of me, compared to when we first met. I dealt with her and put on my coat.

Kate: Are you going to work? It’s your birthday, after all.

Jude: Will it kill you to not keep asking questions day and night?

Victor: Oh? You’re working on your birthday again this year, Jude?

Victor: Make sure to come back in the evening this year. We’ll be waiting to throw a party for you.

Jude: More like a party for you. Last year and the year before, you threw a party even though I wasn't there.

Victor: Every year, I would wait for you to come back, until the day ended… *sniffle*

Roger: Let’s all get drunk and sing a loud “happy birthday” song in the garden.

Jude: Oi. Don’t put your arm over my shoulder, you quack.

Roger: I hope that this year’s party won’t be missing its main character.

(Tch… all the fucking annoying ones are gathered here since morning.)

Jude: I don’t have the culture of celebrating every little occasion. It’s sickening.

I brushed his arm off my shoulders and was about to finally leave the dining room.

Kate: Oh, Jude, is there anything you want…?

(Did I not say that I don’t need anything?)

Kate: I’ll really sing you a song later! Please don’t complain that it’s too ‘insignificant’!

Walking away from that persistent voice that carried a hint of resignation, I left the castle that morning.

…

(So this is the place.)

Instead of begging for their lives to be spared, those bastards who sent me that memo spat out all the information they had.

True enough, there Kate was— dolled up and lying unconscious at the altar, she appeared to have gotten herself ready for tonight’s ‘party’.

(... There’s this revolting feeling in my chest.)

The people who had taken Kate hostage seemed to have something against me.

It was either they were blaming me for their business going bankrupt, or it was just the usual petty grudges.

Kate only got implicated into this because of mine or Crown’s missions. It wasn’t the first time such a thing happened.

And yet, for some reason, I felt especially irritated this time.

(Crown forced a contract onto a woman who was coincidentally present at the scene of an assassination.)

(The Queen insisted that this woman go on our missions with us, despite knowing what dangerous situations she could possibly wind up in.)

(Even after having her life threatened on countless occasions, this woman still refuses to back down.)

(I myself have tested the sheer willpower and guts she had to keep following me around.)

— All of that disgusted me.

(Where’s the ‘happy’ in ‘happy birthday’?)

(Shit.)

Jude: … Oi, you pleb. Are you dead?

I spoke as I stood there, staring down at Kate.

With a groan, Kate stirred and turned to lay on her back.

The hair covering her face spilled onto the floor — revealing her swollen cheek and bloodied lips.

(...)

Something in the core of my mind turned cold.

Kate: … Jude…?

Jude: … What with that hideous appearance? This isn’t funny at all.

Kate: I’m… I’m sorry. I wanted to get you a birthday present, and when I went out to town after seeking permission…

Jude: Screw your apology and how you got captured. I’m asking how you got your face injured.

Kate: They threatened me for information about you, and when I refused to disclose any—

Jude: You could’ve just made some shit up about me.

Kate: I… I can’t do that. You’re always coming to my rescue before I get hurt. I can’t put you in danger because of me.

The response that was so typical of her only made me even more fed up.

(Ah… this woman is hopeless.)

(If I let her keep this up, she will really end up dead one day.)

In the first place, she was only in danger because of the selfish contract Crown forced onto her.

While I had the right to give Kate a piece of my mind, there wasn’t a need for her to feel any obligation towards me.

(I failed to see that.)

She was thick-skinned enough to still spout those pretty words at me, had a strong heart that became enraged upon being looked down on, and was stubborn enough to stand her ground even after being hurt.

I was self-aware that I didn’t hate those traits of hers.

(But… no one can laugh when their birthday present is the dead body of a woman who was innocently dragged into a mess she didn’t create, even as a prank.)

Jude: You seem to have quite a lot of trust in me, however—

Kate: … ggh?

Kate’s body stiffened when I placed my hand on her neck.

Jude: Do you seriously believe that I won’t ever let anyone kill you, or that I’ll always protect you no matter what?

Kate: ugh… haa…

(Oh, you poor thing.)

(You think that you can finally be at ease after being so terrified just now, huh?)

(But you’re wrong. Shall I teach you a little lesson?)

Jude: You haven’t experienced being strangled to the point of losing consciousness, have you?

Jude: I can make that happen, all I have to do is tighten my grip on your throat for about one minute.

I slowly tightened my grip, putting pressure on her pulsating carotid artery.

Kate: ahh… ugh…!

I pinned her struggling body to the floor of the altar.

Light shined in through the stained glass windows onto her hair and skin, making the scene look almost comical.

Jude: You never expected yourself to be strangled by the ally who just rescued you, did you?

Jude: But killing an ally who’s being an eyesore in the heat of the moment is so cliché.

Jude: You’re just a pleb who knows nothing, and yet you tried to go against those low-lifes with that stupid sense of duty of yours.

Jude: You’re a hundred years too early to do that.

Kate: —!

I felt a slight pain in the back of my hand and looked down to see Kate digging her nails into it.

Jude: Hah, look at you trying to fight back. You make me laugh. Even a little kitten can be stronger than you.

Kate: …!

(... What’s with that look?)

Despite the clear difference in strength between the two of us, the resilient look in her eyes never faded.

She was glaring straight at me, as if urging me for something.

Jude: … At this juncture, what is it that you want to say?

I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of things she would say—

The moment I loosened my grip, Kate forcefully shook my hand off.

Kate: Huff… huff…

Jude: … I’m not asking you to start huffing and puffing. I’m asking what you were glaring at me for.

Jude: I’ll go on if you can’t answer.

Kate: I… I…

Kate glared at me with tears in her eyes while desperately trying to catch her breath.

Kate: I’ve experienced horrible things like today’s incident many times, I’ve also witnessed multiple cruel acts; and every time, I would see you enjoying yourself…

Kate: I know very well that you’re a sadist with sick and twisted interests, a villain who finds joy in hearing the screams of other people.

Jude: You don’t say?

Kate: But I believe that deep down, you’re not heartless…

Kate: You may threaten and torment me like this often, and yet when you see that I’m about to die, you do whatever you can to save me.

Jude: You fantasise about me too much.

Kate: Then why do you always look upset whenever I go on missions with you?

Jude: Because you get in my way.

Kate: What are you trying to accomplish by ridiculing me for being soft-hearted?

Jude: That you're so happy-go-lucky that it's an eyesore and a hindrance.

Kate: ... Really?

Despite my harsh words, her eyes remained focused on me.

Kate: ... You show no mercy to people who are arrogant and take human lives lightly.

Kate: ... But looking at it from a different perspective, you save those who have been tyrannised by them.

Jude: The main point is that I enjoy tormenting those bastards. I couldn't care less about who gets saved.

Kate: Whatever your reason may be, doesn't the result remain the same? And that's why I trust you.

Jude: ... Hah, what are you talking about? Sounds stupid as hell.

Kate: But at the same time, I also get that you're not helping me because I value my life.

Kate: That's why, like what you said earlier…

Kate: I don't think that you'll 'always protect me no matter what'.

Her voice trembled with a tinge of loneliness for a moment.

Even Kate herself seemed to be surprised by what she just said and her eyes shifted.

She lifted her head, trying to cover it up.

Kate: What I want to say is that...

Kate: Even if I'll end up being strangled until I lose consciousness, it won't change the way I choose to act.

Kate: If I do get myself captured and threatened again, I won't say a single thing that would put you at a disadvantage.

Kate: That's all I have to say. If you want to go on with what you were doing... be my guest, do as you please.

(A person's life can be so fragile.)

(Trust is useless when you're faced with evil and murderous intentions.)

Some things can't be prevented, no matter how hard you try.

(That fact is more than clear to me.)

But even so, why was I dazzled by her unwavering determination to keep her trust?

Jude: ... I can do as I please?

Kate: ...!

Her shoulders shuddered when I placed my hand on her neck—

Jude: Pfft.

Kate: ...?

(Putting on a brave front when you're actually feeling afraid. Truly idiotic.)

I withdrew my hand from her neck.

Jude: Just as you said, that was a threat.

Jude: However... it's not hard to snap your neck off. Besides, the kind of people I deal with won't be so kind as to hesitate and warn you.

Jude: If you're aware that I'm keeping you at a distance on purpose, then you should know what to do if you're smart enough.

Kate: I thought of avoiding getting myself involved, but…

Jude: But?

Kate: That thinking changed after I noticed various things every time we complete a mission or run away from trouble together.

Kate: And I don't hate that change in myself.

(...)

Kate: Although being captured this time was entirely unintentional... look, I managed to snatch the identification document of the person who captured me.

Kate: If it was you they were after, then they must belong to some sort of organisation, right?

Kate: The ones who captured me were likely someone's subordinates... so perhaps this might serve as a lead to the mastermind behind this.

(... Geez.)

(This girl is truly a bold princess.)

Jude: Don't get too proud of yourself over such a tiny thing. You're like a dog playing fetch.

I took the ID and helped Kate up.

She then exclaimed, as if she suddenly recalled something.

Kate: Oh, right! There's something very important that I forgot to tell you.

Jude: Ah?

Kate: The day isn't over yet, right...?

Kate: Although I didn't manage to get you a present in the end... happy birthday, Jude.

Jude: …

The innocent and pure blessing fell onto my heart with a thud.

(You went through all that, and yet you can still bring yourself to say something so optimistic.)

(Aren't you going to say things like it's all your fault, or that you're no longer in the mood to celebrate?)

All sorts of insults came into my mind, but none of them came out of my mouth.

Nevertheless, the blessing remained warm in my heart, the same way she gave it to me.

Kate: A birthday song is all I can give you... but you don't need that.

Jude: ...

I detested the 'happy birthday' song.

It brought back memories of a dusty attic that reeked of mould and alcohol; I recalled the hoarse voices of 2 people who kept singing while coughing violently, disregarding my protests.

7 years had passed since then, my vengeance should've been long gone.

Yet every time I recalled that raspy voice singing the 'happy birthday' song, the hatred ingrained in me craved to hear the screams of its prey.

But, right now—

Jude: Fine, you can sing. I'm listening.

Kate: Eh? But... you said that you don't have the culture of celebrating every small occasion.

Jude: I changed my mind. I still don't care about the others, though.

Jude: Just yours is enough.

Kate: ... Huh?

Kate's eyes widened for a moment before her cheeks turned bright red.

Kate: H-Huh...?

Jude: ... Heh, what are you blushing about? You simple minded woman.

Kate: Wha... d-did you just tease me again!?

Jude: Who knows? It's obvious that you're very fond of me, though.

Kate: WHAT!? I am not...!

Jude: Yeah, yeah. So, are you going to sing or not?

Kate: ...!!

After being at a loss for words for a brief moment, Kate started to sing.

Her voice was too soft to echo through the church, but it lingered in my ears longer than any other blessing I had ever received.

Birthday Letter

[yuikomorii]

♡Valentine’s Day♡

// I present to you Ayayui Valentine's Day cg because they're adorable together and I really wanted to feed their stans uwu. I got this idea from something my bestie drew last year, and I'm not one to brag, but I love how this one turned out! It almost looks official, which makes me happy! ٩̋( *ˊᗜˋ* )و

I also wrote a special Valentine’s Day story regarding this cg! Despite being my best boy, I don’t really consider myself good at writing Ayato but I tried my best, therefore… if you’re into fluff and cheesy moments, click on “keep reading”! <3

~Ayayui Valentine’s Day scenario~

Yui: “Limited edition Pocky”

(That’s what I got yesterday when we went to the Demon world. Kanato-kun was surprisingly kind enough to recommend a good candy store, so I’m sure he must know best, right?)

(I can’t believe it’s already Valentine’s Day…)

(If I remembered it sooner, I would have tried to bake something special for it but I suppose these pocky sticks should do the trick as well. It’s still chocolate after all and it’s really interesting how once you finish them all, you’ll get a message at the bottom of the box!)

Now, all I have to do is wait and——

Ayato: Whatcha doing there, Chichinashi?

Yui: Wah…! Geez, Ayato-kun, you scared me!

(And he almost saw the pocky box too—!)

Ayato: Tch… stop screaming, will you?

Yui: Ah… I-I’m sorry! It’s just that… Ayato-kun, there is——

Student: Hey, you’re Ayato-san, right? I was told to give you these. They are quite a lot, you must really be popular, huh?

Yui: …!

(Eeh!? A bag full of chocolates!)

(I know Ayato-kun, as a member of the Sakamaki family, is popular but when this thought crosses my mind, my chest… it somehow tightens…)

W-Woah, the amount is really impressive!

Student: Right? I wish I received such gifts on Valentine’s Day too but haa… not everyone is lucky enough.

Ayato: Y’know, if you really want them, you can have them.

Yui: Wha—!

Student: E-Excuse me?

Ayato: I don’t need them, they can’t satisfy me in any way so what’s the point of keeping useless trash?

Yui: B-But Ayato-kun, it’s the thought that counts! Besides, they spent money on them!

Ayato: If they can afford to attend a private school, buying chocolates will not bankrupt them. Let's go, or what now? Do you prefer to walk home all alone in the dark?

Yui: That’s… I-I’m coming!

— Timeskip —

Yui: (Ayato-kun… Does he refuse Valentine's Day gifts? But if that's the case, I can't guarantee I won't be rejected as well...)

(Nevertheless, thinking negatively will accomplish nothing. I bought the box with the thought of him in my mind because Ayato-kun is the person I like the most. If I don't take a shot, I might regret it later, so it's now or never!)

Hey, Ayato-kun.

Ayato: Hm?

Yui: (Here we go…!)

Will you be… my Valentine?

— Yui blushes and hands him the pocky box —

Ayato: Heh…

Yui: (C-Come on, is he laughing at me now?)

— Ayato teleports —

Yui: Eh?

(We’re at some sort of dessert shop?)

Ayato: Took you long enough, Chichinashi. I would have much rather preferred to receive Takoyaki but pocky doesn’t sound half bad either.

Yui: Wait a little, so you knew!?

Ayato: Obviously? I noticed you hiding something from me a few hours ago and waited all day for you to make your move. At some point, I even thought you were scared based on my reaction to that bag of chocolates, which… wasn’t my intention.

Yui: It’s alright, don’t worry. I should have guessed you don't like Valentine's Day gifts. I mean, I'm sure there are a lot of disadvantages to being popular. You probably grew tired of receiving gifts from people with whom you had little or no interaction.

Ayato: That too but those chicks also lacked courage. If you're going to make something for me, give it to me face to face. I wouldn't have turned down their gifts otherwise; I'm not that kind of person, y’know?

Yui: (I see, so that explains his reaction. I failed to look at what was actually bothering Ayato-kun but on a positive note, I’m glad I took action, because that’s what he truly wanted.)

Ayato: Besides… I… I would have accepted it anyway from you.

Yui: A-Ayato-kun…!

Ayato: S-Stop screaming already, will you!? Tch… whatever!

Yui: (Am I not seeing well or is he really blushing? Fufu, that’s somehow cute~!)

Ayato: Pocky, huh? Let’s give them a taste test then, hm?

— Ayato puts pocky in his mouth and gets closer —

Yui: Eh? R-Right now? But this is a public place!

Ayato: And? What’s the point in having a Valentine if you can’t show them off ? Now c’mon, open your mouth.

Yui: Uuh…

(He’s lifting my chin!)

(When Ayato-kun looks at me like that… I simply can’t resist anymore!)

F-Fine… Mn..

Ayato: Mn… Mn… Mn…

Yui: (W-Wait, slow down!)

Ayato: *kisses*

Yui: …!

Ayato: Heeh, your face is turning bright red; are you really that easy to heat up~?

Yui: “E-Easy”, you say, but that's a normal reaction when you decide to kiss me unexpectedly!

Ayato: And now that I've done it once, I demand a second round!

— Timeskip —

Yui: (I can’t believe we finished the whole pocky box. Gosh… that was so embarrassing!)

(Thankfully, the people around us preferred minding their own business rather than looking at us.)

Ayato: …

Yui: (Ayato-kun became unusually quiet; could he be sleeping?)

Ayato-kun…?

Ayato: …

Yui: (No answer at all? Did he really fall asleep?)

(However, I shouldn't wake him up. We'll be asked to leave when the dessert shop closes anyway, so I'll let him nap for the time being.)

Come to think of it, now that the box is empty, a message was said to be at the bottom of it, no?

— Yui finds a piece of paper and starts reading —

Yui: “Thank you for purchasing our limited edition pocky! In honor of this release, we have a special treat in store for you too: if you share a pocky stick with your beloved, both of you will be able to drown in pleasure afterwards! The reason is simple because our secret ingredient is… aphrodisiac”!?

(N-No way, this can’t— Kya! Something is touching my leg!)

Ayato: Change of plans. Come with me, Yui.

— Ayato picks her up —

Yui: W-Wah, wait, Ayato-kun—!

(Uuh… what will I get myself into?)

[thatndginger]

Well... it's done! I've finished polishing this little project up, and the last step is to print it off at work after I enjoy my first two-day weekend off in over a month ^.^

The Idiot's Guide to Moressau

In an attempt to stem the flood of idiotic tourists who inevitably get themselves killed, injured, or swindled every year, Portia Beckham has written a short primer for all thinking of visiting Moressau. Her goal is to lay out the most dangerous aspects of the city and what you can do to avoid them. This is not an in-depth guide to the city or any supernaturals by any means.

full transcript under the cut:

CONTENTS

PAGE ONE Sightseeing The truth behind the tourist kitsch - places to avoid at all costs, hidden gems to explore

PAGE FOUR Shapeshifters Debunking stupid werewolf myths, how to pick a shifter from a crowd, how to avoid getting your face ripped off by an angry one

PAGE SIX Vampires How to spot a mosquito, ways to keep your neck safe, popular vampire hunting grounds PAGE EIGHT Witches Best practices for dealing with magic users, apothecaries to stay away from

PAGE NINE Magic and More Magic, and what you should know about it before you visit

SIGHTSEEING IN THE SMUGGLER CITY

The Golden Rule: Use Your Brain It’s hard to resist the allure of magic, I know. But Moressau isn’t the kind of place you want to walk into unprepared. There’s a lot of rot beneath the thin veneer of civility the city’s been splashing around lately. This isn’t meant to be a tourist guide. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that your visit is going to be all sunshine and roses. The sun rarely shines in Moressau, and don’t you know roses have thorns? No. This is a survival guide to help you avoid becoming a statistic.

Avoiding the Tourist Traps I’m going to be honest: ninety percent of the stores in Old Downtown are overpriced and full of cheaply-made tourist trash. ‘But what about Heron’s Compass or The Crooked Spine?’ you may ask. Overpriced. Tourist. Traps. The Crooked Spine touts itself as the oldest bookstore in Moressau, but most of its shelves are filled with the kind of crap tourists spend hundreds of dollars on just to say they bought a piece of Moressau. Most of that crap is made overseas. If you want to hear a sanitized, all-ages-friendly account of witches in Moressau and buy ridiculously named potions that do jack-all, then by all means go to Heron’s Compass. The Maer-Rigan Coven will charge you out the nose, and probably gloat about overcharging you to your face. If that’s the kind of vibe you want, then please stay in Old Downtown and never bother the rest of us.

Shopping That Won’t Bankrupt You If you want to find some shopping that’s reasonably priced and not forced to keep up a bright and happy facade for the city’s ‘image’, then you’re going to want to check out the street markets. All local, usually handmade, and what they lack in visual appeal they more than make up for in atmosphere. The really good ones don’t advertise their existence, you just have to know. Best practice: check the Arts or Lonewood districts on a weekend evening. You’ll find something that makes the entire trip worth it. Guaranteed.

Not in the mood for a stall crawl? There are a ton of unique stores around Moressau worth your time. But like most things, you’ll have to put in a little footwork for them. My personal suggestions are The Salt Well - a secondhand store covering three stories in the Arts - and Thistle & Rue - a local artist co-op that has everything you little heart could desire.

Local Food Worth Your Time Moressau is far from a haute cuisine destination, but since you’re here you’re better off sniffing out some of the local offerings than settling for fast food. Trust me. Check out Jax’s Diner down in the industrial side of town. Open twenty-four-seven and home of the best breakfast plate you’ll ever eat in your life. Or if you want something fishy The Queen’s Catch in the Boardwalk is by far the best place to sample some of the sea’s bounty. Finally, if you’re looking for somewhere with both good booze and good food, you can’t go wrong with Island Goat or the Salt Beard Tavern. Just don’t ask to try the chef’s special at the tavern.

The Historical and Creepy Look. All of Moressau is creepy. At least that’s what I’ve been told. It’s dark and gloomy and you’re just as likely to get mauled by a creep as you are to get scared by a dumpster rat. If you don’t know what you’re doing, stick to the shit all the brochures tout. You’re less likely to die that way. There’s museums and tour guides for all of you nerds, too. That tour of Augustus Laroche’s mansion is actually pretty fun. They have paid actors and everything, but frown on self-guided tours outside of the usual routes. Just FYI.

I’ve heard of some walking tours that have popped up recently that seem safe, if you’re into that kind of thing. Word to the wise, though: avoid anything that mentions the Montrose Syndicate. They aren’t dead, and they don’t like being talked about. Whoever started that tour is going to end up at the bottom of the bay sooner or later.

Seaside Attractions (And Then Some) This is another one the brochures can handle for you. The Boardwalk and lighthouse are safe enough, and there are parts of the preserved old wharf that aren’t too bad either. And yes, they were made with old shipwreck lumber. The founders were thrifty and morbid like that. Stick to the North Docks and Downtown if you want to explore Moressau’s seaside attractions. The Old Docks aren’t the safest place anymore, day or night. If you’re up for a bit of a hike, check out the original lighthouse just north of the city. It was abandoned in favor of the new lighthouse in the early 1900's, but whatever they made it with keeps it standing, even if the rocks around it have eroded away. It’s not as fun since the city took out the bridge connecting the lighthouse to land, but you’re brave (and stupid) you can still make it across the gap. Ask me how I know.

For some modern entertainment - or modern-ish - it’s worth it to check out Saltshock, the amusement park right off the Boardwalk. It’s got some of those old wooden rollercoasters that are actually terrifying. The modern steel coasters have nothing on those rickety old things. The prices aren’t too bad, but definitely don’t bother buying any souvenirs or food there. That’s where they get you.

And since you’ll be in the area, keep an eye on the street art. I know a guy who paints some really cool murals around the Docks and Southside neighborhoods. Some of them disappear pretty quickly, since he never asks permission to decorate someone’s wall. So keep an eye out for anything signed “W S”. And keep an eye out for the rest of our local renegade artists too. You could spend hours searching out all the hidden masterpieces in this city and still miss half of them.

SHAPESHIFTERS

There’s one thing you can count on in the world, and it’s that no one will ever agree on what’s the ‘right’ thing to call a shapeshifter. But to save you some trouble, I’ll tell you the best ones. Only scientists and academics use that stupid ‘metamorph’. Most people settle for ‘were’ or ‘shifter’. If you know what kind of shifter you’re dealing with, calling them a werelion or whatever regional term you know is probably fine. Just don’t call them a beast unless you want them to act like one.

Debunking the ‘Werewolf Myth’ Because ‘shapeshifter’ is such a broad category of supernatural, there are a lot of rumors and hearsay floating around out there. Hollywood certainly doesn’t help. So let’s get some of the worst rumors put to bed once and for all.

First and foremost, weres aren’t controlled by the moon. They won’t uncontrollably transform under a full moon, or grow stronger in moonlight, or whatever else Hollywood has fed you. A transformed shifter isn’t a mindless animal or killing machine. There are some shifters who have trouble controlling their animal sides, but in those cases they’ll act like any other animal. Lassie doesn’t attack everyone in sight, does she? Most shifters are fully in control of their animal sides, and you’ll only have to worry about one attacking you if you’ve pissed them off.

Second, not every bite from a were will kill or turn you. Which is hardly comforting, since you won’t know that until after they’ve bitten you and you’ve spent about half an hour shitting yourself with panic. No one knows how it works, but a were has to want to turn you for the magic to take hold. That said, a big enough shifter doesn’t need to Bite you to kill you. So I’ll tell you again: don’t piss off a shifter.

Spotting a Shifter There’s no one-size-fits-all way to pick out a shifter in a crowd. They look like any other human. Act like any other human. Until you get close enough to notice that they have a cat’s eyes, or pointier-than-normal ears, or freckles that look more like spots. Every shifter has a ‘quirk’ courtesy of their animal form, though it’s not always immediately obvious. I know a werewolf who has fangs in human form, and another who acquired a ‘birthmark’ in the shape of their wolf side’s markings. Each quirk is unique to the shifter in possession of it.

Behavior is another one of those things that’s unique to each were. Some will take on certain behaviors of their animal form while human, while others will only act like an animal when they are an animal. They’re like humans that way. You can’t just shove them all into one box and expect them to act the same.

Finding a Shifter Shapeshifters don’t have a lot of restrictions the way some other supernaturals do. They can go where they please when they please. Except for the fact that most mundanes are still scared of them and prefer shifts stay in specific neighborhoods like Amber Wood and The Point on the north edge of the city. So if you’re trying to find some entertainment on the wilder side, start there.

The hangouts in Amber Wood tend to be the friendliest to non-shifters. Belmont’s Basement is a historic dive that’ll let anyone through the doors as long as they don’t start trouble. Then there’s Ovidia. Be warned, the music and atmosphere are quieter than a usual human club, since Ovidia caters to the sensitive senses of shifters first and foremost.

The Point has been undergoing a bit of a gentrification spell of late. The Montrose Syndicate has been expanding their turf, and with the wolves come the wealthy. Above all, steer clear of Arnaud’s Run. That’s where the top Montrose brass live, and they do not like outsiders. You’re more likely to get your throat torn out than to get a lukewarm welcome in the Run.

But if you want to try your luck, The Hunt on Starfall, or the Silver Bullet lounge are your best bets. Better be on your best behavior, though. Insulting a Montrose soldier is the last thing you’ll ever do.

Were Deterrent? There Deterrent! Silver will mildly irritate a shifter, but it won’t kill them. That whole silver bullet thing works because, it turns out, guns kill things. It doesn’t really matter what the bullet is made out of. Wolfsbane will do the exact same thing to a shifter as it does a human. Don’t you know wolfsbane is incredibly poisonous? Just touching the stuff can kill a mundane, let alone a werewolf. Don’t be the idiot who goes touching deadly flowers because of a myth.

If you want to keep a were from transforming, slapping a collar made of copper and rowan branches will do the trick. It’s how cops ‘subdue’ shifters in Moressau. Why rowan? Who knows. Same reason vampires hate it, probably. It’ll irritate the crap out of a were, like itching powder, but it doesn’t really hurt. Copper disrupts transformation magic, but only when combined with rowan, and only when directly touching a shifter’s skin. That one’s easier to explain. Magic and copper don’t mesh well. Rowan amplifies it against shifters.

VAMPIRES

If your entire reason for coming to Moressau is to meet a vampire then I have two questions for you: What the hell is wrong with you, and why bother coming here at all? Statistically, there is at least one vampire in or near where you live now. Go find them. They’ll probably jump at the chance to drink your blood, if that’s your thing. You don’t need to travel for it. The only reason you should be visiting Moressau when it comes to vampires is their nightlife.

How to Spot a Vampire Let’s get something straight right now. Vampires don’t sparkle. They aren’t incredibly pale. They aren’t indestructible. A freshly-fed vampire isn’t much different from a human, actually. They’re warm to the touch - never hot - and no paler than the average person. The only thing they’re missing is a heartbeat.

That said, there are some tell-tale signs that you’re talking to a vampire. Their fangs don’t do that stupid retraction thing like some movies claim. You’ll see them as soon as a vamp opens their mouth. A vampire’s eyes don’t glow, they aren’t blood red, they’re just eyes. But they’ll shine in the passing light of a car or a camera flash, that’s for sure. Most supernaturals have that little quirk. Lastly, vampires lack both a shadow and a reflection.

A vampire who hasn’t fed in a few days will have a chill to them like any other dead body. But a hungry vampire is faster, stronger, and much easier to piss off. And a really hungry vampire might just turn feral on you. Trust me when I say you never want to meet a feral vampire. They don’t have enough reason left to leave you alive when they’re done.

Where to Find a Vampire Typically, vampires can only come out at night. They tend to burn to a crisp in half an hour if they’re exposed to full sunlight. It’s not a pretty sight. Luckily for the vampires of Moressau, the sun only comes out about 30 days of the year, so they can be out at nearly any time of day.. Most of them keep to the night hours out of habit, being nocturnal creatures. They also tend to hang out in the Midnight Quarter. There are some vampires who’ve lived there since the city was founded, and if you’re looking for night life then the Midnight Quarter is exactly where you want to be. Don’t be surprised by what you might see in a back alley there. The city’s feeding regulations are only really enforced when the police department feels that vampires are getting a little too comfortable. There are ‘authorized’ parlors for safe feeding in multiple parts of the city, but it’s only in the Midnight Quarter that vampires feel safe enough to feed out in the open.

Not all vampire parlors and clubs are dangerous. Just some of them. Club Nomad caters primarily to vampires, but they’ll welcome anyone looking for a night out. The bouncers there are better than most about keeping an eye out for trouble. If you want exclusivity, then L’Sourire en Sang run by the Société de Keres is as old and exclusive as you can get. They’re pretty strict about who they let in - mundane and vampire both - but I’ve heard that almost every human visitor leaves alive. Or occasionally undead.

Last but not least, there’s Cameo. It hasn’t been around very long, but it’s already pissed off all the old and moldy vampires in the city so it has my vote of confidence. I heard it’s run by a new coalition in town called the Strix Assembly, and they’re very concerned about keeping their bloodbags alive and well. Pampered, even. They don’t mind the occasional shifter drifting through, either.

Finding Good Mosquito Repellent Vampires might be some of the deadliest supernaturals out there, but there are some tried and true ways to keep them off your neck.

First, sunlight. We’ve covered this. Keep up.

Second, rowan wood. I don’t know what it is about rowan specifically, but it’ll burn any vampire who touches it. They hate the smell of it too, if you’re in the market for new cologne.

Vampires have an aversion to garlic, but it’s not going to stop a determined one. Pepper spray is useful if you can make a quick getaway. Don’t bother with religious iconography or silver unless you want to be laughed at before you die.

And finally... most vampires are just like everyone else. Common sense and a nice attitude will go a long way. If you wouldn’t go around insulting Joe Schmoe, don’t go around insulting a vampire just because you can, either.

WITCHES

Before you go getting all sad because I’m telling you just how dangerous all the ‘fun‘ parts of Moressau are, just let me finish. Because as scary as shapeshifters and vampires can be, witches are so much worse. You’ll never a know a witch is standing in front of you. Not until you piss them off and they curse you for it. At least a vampire has the courtesy to show their fangs before they fuck you up.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let me debunk some more stereotypes about witches. Some of them wear pointy hats, but so do a lot of mundanes. You can’t judge someone by their aesthetic. Even if it’s a stupid one. If they are actively channeling magic, a witch’s eyes will glow. It’s a soft light, like a glowstick. There’s no specific glow color for ‘evil’ witches, but the color is unique to each individual. A witch also tends to smell like the air before a storm when casting. Petrichor, some call it. That’s the smell of magic in general. Depending on how much magic is used, the smell can linger for a while too. But it’s really weird to go around sniffing people, FYI.

Finding a Good Witch Shop Most witch-run businesses in Moressau prefer to call themselves apothecaries or mysticaries. ‘Magic Shop’ sounds like a place full of gag gifts and card tricks. The good apothecaries are usually run by a single person or small coven. Anything with multiple locations or run by the Maer-Rigan Coven is going to charge you out the nose for something even an infanct could mix up. Maer-Rigan runs Heron’s Compass and Satyr’s Step in the Old Downtown, so steer clear of those. It’s better to avoid Hag’s Eye Apothecary and Honey & Sage while you’re at it, too. They aren’t Maer-Rigan run, but they’re way too pricey and their products are weak.

If you want a really good mysticary shop, check out Whitehart Apothecary near the Old Docks. Their prices are fair, and the witches who run it are a riot. They’ll even check you for errant curses, if you ask nicely. Breaking curses will cost you, though. Some other options are Lazy Gull and Black Fin & Feather, both found near the Boardwalk. Black Fin & Feather is perfect for all you goth-y, creepy folk. And Lazy Gull recently opened a coffee bar, so you can get your enchanted drinks on-the-go. Just make sure to tip well, or they might add something unpleasant in there too.

MAGIC AND MORE

There’s one thing I can say about Moressau that is unequivocally positive: it really is the most magical place in America. And I mean that literally. There may be other places with a longer history of magic use, but Moressau was built and rebuilt with the help of magic, and you can feel it. The city is alive with it. Be good to the city, and the city will be good to you. That’s our motto. That’s why most of us still stick around, even with the constant rain and cold. And the danger. We love this city. And it loves us back.

Now that I‘ve gotten a little sappy, let’s get back to business. Most of the newer parts of the city - really anything less than 50 years old - haven’t had time for the city’s magic to sink in. So if you’re scared of the idea that a city is alive, stick to them. They aren’t really alive yet. The oldest parts like the Boardwalk and Old Downtown are where you can feel the magic heartbeat of Moressau. You’ve got to stand still, and tune out the city noise, and then you can feel it. But since this is Moressau, standing in the middle of a busy public area and spacing out is dangerous, so bring a buddy if you want to try this.

Never, ever go below the city streets. It might sound cool to check out the ‘Buried City’, but the magic down there is different. Older. Woven into the ground by smugglers and people who didn’t want to be found. It doesn’t matter how well you’ve prepared, or how good your sense of direction is. Ten minutes down there and you won’t know up from down. There are people who manage to live down there, but don’t ask me how they do it. You probably don’t want to meet them, either.

If you’re a magic user, make sure you’re prepared for the side effects magic tends to experience here. I’ve been told magic has a stronger will in Moressau and takes more effort to channel. It also tends to take on a mind of its own and react in ways you wouldn’t expect. It’s nothing off-the-walls crazy, but it’s definitely something to keep in mind. Or else your protection spell might become a ‘knock everyone three feet back if they dare touch you’ spell. It’s only funny for the first twenty minutes.

Shapeshifter taglist: @sunset-a-story @touloserlautrec

[tjemegames]

HSR: e0s1 Feixiao Warps

My video footage was super glitchy and partially corrupted so we’re doing this the old fashioned way 🫠

Starting off on a high with a 50/50 win after 80 pulls. I was lowkey fishing for Moze (yes, you may call me a hypocrite) so this was a pleasant outcome. I told myself that I would only fish until I hit the first 5* this time around, netting a grand total of 2 Moze copies in the process. Not how I would've liked for that to go but I got Feixiao out of it; this was a relatively huge win for my FUA roster, a loss to Himeko would've been better for my account but we don't question wins around here. Since I was feeling pretty good about my odds, I decided to stop fishing and pull for sig instead of trying for Robin.

Went a bit downhill with a 75/25 loss after another 80 pulls. This is the hardest pity I've ever had to go to on the light cone banner... It was not a good time and my friends (who were with me, in person, live reacting to my pulls) were wincing through my frantic clicking and mutterings of "it's fine. aha, it's fine... please? eh, i'm gonna go bankrupt." They then got to watch me sink two-thirds of my starlight into buying more pulls before the tragic final 10 pull of the day and subsequent reaction of "no, NOOO! gePAAAARRRD!! WHY? i hate this game..."

I'm now on the ground, my guarantee took 8 days of grinding and 67 more pulls to come through. I spent the final third of my starlight, did the 2.5 continuation, scrounged around collecting treasure/completing the Penacony mini-games that I hadn’t done yet, forced myself to finish Swarm Disaster, and achievement hunted to make this happen. Was it worth it? I don't know. The answer is probably yes; I'm already sharing Cruising in the Stellar Sea between multiple units, I don't have Baptism of Pure Thought or Worrisome, Blissful, and using swordplay on her (even though it's a fine f2p option) doesn't appeal to me, so this was the way to go... Still hurts though.

Here's what 227 warps got me:

2 x Asta (already e6)

1 x Day One of My New Life (s6)

1 x Luka (e6)

2 x Moze (new, e1)

1 x Trend of the Universal Market (s6)

6 x Swordplay (s12)

5 x Resolution Shines as Pearls of Sweat (s6)

1 x Feixiao (new, 79 pity)

6 x The Birth of the Self (s13)

1 x Natasha (already e6)

1 x Qingque (e5)

1 x Moment of Victory (new, 71 pity)

1 x Arlan (already e6)

1 x Tingyun (already e6)

1 x I Venture Forth to Hunt, (new, 67 pity)

Total = twenty-eight 4*s & three 5*s

These were, hands down, the WORST warps I’ve done so far. She took everything from me… No savings or stralight left to even attempt to fish for another copy of Moze. I hate to say it, but I might actually be forced to skip anyone who comes out within the next 4-6 months. It’s not like I need to pull anyone, I’ve got enough units to clear endgame with, but being completely broke at the conclusion of a continuance is terrible timing. Sincerely hoping that they won’t rerun the light cones I’ve been waiting for before I’ve had the chance to replenish my savings.

That’s all for this one. Good luck to anyone who is pulling on the lesbian kryptonite banners! May your luck be much better than mine was.

I’m gonna go sulk and work on my Feixiao now 🫡

[vro0m]

I’m just asking in general btw (if it’s a good idea), since we’re going to do musical chairs for this season. I’ve just been thinking about it and I’m ngl (and I’m saying this because of how good he is) I’m not confident Sainz is getting a seat for next year.

Sauber is beneath him, the Audi project is going to take time especially cuz of the cost cap era. I’m sure now more than at the start of the season that Checo is keeping his seat, he’s been on pace and he brings in a lot of money, doesn’t disrupt the 1-2 dynamics, why wouldn’t you resign him?

Merc is not doing well, they’re set on Antonelli and wouldn’t it be better if he goes to the team now and get familiar with the team, have George show him around while they’re still in a dip and then he’s ready by the time they have a championship winning car. Even if he goes to Williams, Sainz wouldn’t want a short term contract with Merc. Even if he’s confident he can beat Russell, I don’t think everyone would appreciate the politics.

Aston may be set on Yuki since Red Bull keeps dangling that second seat away from him, torro rosso is also beneath him and I don’t see the Strolls leaving unless they get bankrupt. A sabbatical is not looking like such a bad idea if he’s interested in another racing series yk.

You're right that it's difficult to imagine where he's gonna go, but everything being open you never know what could happen.

I still don't believe Antonelli will get the Merc seat next year (and if he does I still 100% think it's a mistake).

I don't know that Sainz wouldn't want a short term contract with merc or anyone else tbh. It could be a good way to stay in F1 for a few years while waiting to see how the Audi thing goes. The politics are irrelevant imo.

I'm also not sure that given the choice Aston would choose Yuki over Carlos tbh, although Yuki is doing well at the moment. In any case it would require them having an open seat in the first place which is unclear right now.

The "beneath him" thing... I mean sure. But when you have a choice between a seat that's "beneath you" or being out of a job... You tend to choose the seat. Because you are not guaranteed to find a seat again after stepping out for a sabbatical. Or if you do it's generally not for a better seat than you previously had. Keep in mind that although he's been performing well these past few races, he's not a champion. He's won 3 times, all in the last 3 season, despite having been there since 2015. It's not a brilliant record sheet. It would be a very risky move if he still wants to drive in F1 imo.

[tame-a-messenger]

I wholeheartedly agree with you and other anon, I love Shayne and he’s been my top 3 for as long as I can remember but he hosts too many freaking shows. Anon only mentioned Reddit and the guessing but we also have who meme’d it, beopardy, and challenge pit technically bc he was in most of them. I know he’s pretty much the money maker of Smosh and everyone enjoys him but I miss back in the day where almost everyone had a show on pit they can enjoy. But honestly I think the reason he’s pretty much the only host is because it seems he’s one of the only people full time. So I feel like thats the smartest decision money and views wise. Idk I just miss when they actively tried out new shows, I know that those don’t really pay their bills but it would be nice bc it’s something new and refreshing. I think I’m just ranting at this point, I just NEED my babies to come back 😕

I totally didn't count those! I was mainly talking about "one person" videos where it's only Shayne + 1 or 2 other people, but yeah, no you're right he does HOST a LOT of shows.

I miss back when everyone had a 'show' too. "Seriously Super Stupid Sleepover" was my FAVORITE thing they did back in that time! (it might have been the only thing I watched at some points)

"I just miss when they actively tried out new shows"

Me too! They've been trying that out recently (kind of) and it's been some fun? It kind of seems like they don't want to spend too much money on newer content. Which I understand, but some of my FAVORITE videos are the low budget ones! like the squad vlogs!!! I LOVE THOSE. We don't want big impressive sets, we want the cast having a good time with a good premise!!! (I genuinely have no clue why they haven't tried more different stuff out. The only thing I can think of is they don't want a video to bomb and lose out on guaranteed money, but they aren't getting anywhere as they are rn. Risk = Reward gamble)

I am really starting to think they don't really know what they want to do on the channels because of how they are acting as of recent. They keep trying out stuff between things they know get views, (Sniper Chess - Reddit Stories) and I'm not saying I think they're shitting the bed or going bankrupt rn, just that they seem nervous?

OR y'know, they could just be planning big things for the future so that's why we've been getting these "low effort" videos.

Some of the best times I had watching Smosh was when they were doing different stuff on most uploads. They can keep the Reddit Stories and all their staple shows, but give me VARIETY. Like REAL variety. Don't force feed me content that doesn't even get you views, focus on building your fanbase! LOOK AT HOW MUCH MONEY THEY RAISED JUST DOING NOT EVEN AN HOUR AND A HALF LIVESTREAM???

21k IN 1hr 20mins ???? that's $262.5 dollars A MINUTE .....

THEY DONT REALISE HOW MUCH THEY SQUANDER THE FANS THEY DO HAVE.

do. better.

So sorry this ended in a rant, I just am very passionate about this subject! I WANT them to do well! I see all the ways they could have more and they just shit themselves and flounder, then act like they couldn't do anything, it's INFURIATING! They have a large fan base that loves them, that would be willing to help crowd fund most anything cool (summer games anyone?? I'm 100% certain that if they did a fundraiser for that we could get them AT LEAST 50k to spend on it) and they don't. do. anything.

Maybe I am just fully unaware about what goes on, and if I am lmk, but it really just feels like incompetence from the 'suits' at Smosh

Sorry this turned into a rant Anon :D I also have been in need of my cuties (IM GOING CRAZYYYY as you probably can tell from this post lmao)

[thecrappycrafter]

Supplies

So I got more stuff animals or as I like to call them “victims”. I got the duck, lamb, and two rabbits today. Each one cost $1 and the total cost is $4. I should probably stop buying stuff animals without a plan for them. I am creatively bankrupt when it comes to crochet and I suck at drawing so I don’t really want to do it. I know that’s counterproductive when my goal is to get better at drawing but I have no idea where to start learning.

The one of reasons I got them was because they are $1 each and it’s not guarantee I’ll be able to get them. For example, before Valentine’s Day, there where a couple of $1 stuff animals I got (a bear, lion, and dinosaur; oh my) and there were some more I wanted to get when they were on sale. Well, they weren’t there by the time Valentine’s Day came around. Another reason is that I only spend this kinda money for the holiday items. For example, a Halloween bucket, my Valentine’s stuff animals, the Christmas polar bear, and now the Easter plush.

That’s why I got the $1 plushies. I saw a couple more “expensive” ones ($3, $5, and $8) I wanted to get but I decided not to. I’ll buy them later when they are on sale. Maybe the after Easter. I also want to save more money so I have more freedom to spend.

Like I said before, I don’t have a lot of ideas for these stuff animals. The only idea I have is for the lamb. Unicorn lamb. I’m going to use yarn to add a horn and hair to the lamb. But that leaves the others. Maybe I’ll make clothes for the duck. For the headless plushies, I think I might make a small octopus plushies and sew them onto the body.

CC

[ilikebreadbyitsself]

OKAY GUESS WHAT

I’m literally feeling incredible today and I’m about to apply to a career and tech center so wish me luck !!

I’m applying for video production since when I’m older, I aim to be a producer and director/screenwriter. Writing and creating a show/movie is honestly my ultimate goal. It’s something that has brought me through some pretty unfortunate times, as well as bonding w my current best friend over it.

But the entertainment industry is sooo risky and difficult to get into. There’s no guarantee that you’ll be successful or make money, which has always scared me away and when people ask what I want to be as an adult, I’m quick to answer with something within the medical field.

I really want to write stories and create new worlds and such though, so I’m willing to take the risk that comes with the stingyness of the entertainment industry.

Let’s hope I don’t totally fail as an adult and go bankrupt

Anyways wish me luck and cross ur fingers that I get accepted !!

[feralgirlfromatl]

Why It Feels Like a New Dark Age Is Falling

Five Words that Define the 21st Century: The Theft of Human Agency

umair haque

Eudaimonia and Co

When you look at this age, what do you see? There’s a lot going on. Too much. It’s chaos out there. From fanatics to climate change to stagflation — we live in profoundly troubled times, and don’t let any mediocre mind, with the confidence they always have, tell you different. What does it all mean…add up to…say? How will history think about this age?

When I look at the world, here’s what I see. I’ve begun to think that it’s what history will see, too. It’s a subtle, nuanced concept to really grasp. So let me say it up front, but warn you that I don’t like saying it this way, because we don’t have a good word for what it really means yet. I think that this age will be remembered for the loss of agency.

In sudden, rapid, and disturbing ways and forms. Human agency, just…vanishing. Setting fire to itself. Being eviscerated. Curdling. Narcotized. Lulled asleep. There are many ways it’s happening. And yet everywhere I look now, here’s what I see: the shattering loss of human agency.

I don’t like that word, “agency.” It doesn’t really tell the story well. But let me tell try to tell the story, anyways, because right now, it may be the best word we have.

Human agency, this word I dislike. It comes in many forms. And the striking thing about this age? They are all going into serious and staggering decline.

Let’s begin with an obvious one. Political agency. Take a hard look around the world. What do you see? In France, Macron’s forced through an utterly unnecessary reform, that the entire country more or less hates — raising the retirement age — not just undemocratically, but anti-democratically. Agency? Poof. But that’s a small example. Let’s go through bigger and bigger ones.

Britain chose the catastrophic folly of Brexit, out of arrogance, stupidity, pride, helped along by Big Lies. Now Brits are beginning to realize just what a mistake it was. Suddenly, they don’t have the right — LOL — to live and work in Europe. Trade with it in simple terms. And so scores of businesses — even historic ones — are going bankrupt. What was all this? How will it be remembered? History will emit a baffled chuckle. Brits took agency — that much agency — away from…themselves?

Brexit’s a very good example because it begins to illustrate just how…effed up…the story of the loss of human agency in the 21st century is. In many ways, we’re doing it to ourselves. One simple definition of agency is rights. Think of what agency is lost when you give up the right to live and work in Europe — your entire country. That’s the kind of staggering, sudden loss of agency I’m talking about.

Why would you do that?

Let’s look at America. There, the loss of agency is perhaps even starker. Rawer. More medieval and regressive. Women just lost…their basic freedoms…from movement to expression to association. Now, they’re fair game for lunatics to do things like ban them from leaving the state, or sue people for “aiding and abetting” them. Even when the Supreme Court repealed Roe, American pundits poohed-poohed the warning, as they usually do, and said: “the lunatics won’t go that far! They’re not going to, LOL, ban women from leaving states. Alarmist!” And yet…here we are. That’s — again — a sudden, catastrophic loss of agency. What else do we call it when a society’s…largest social group…women…all of them…suddenly don’t have guaranteed, inalienable basic freedoms anymore?

America’s a good example because it makes even clearer than Britain’s pathetic mistake of Brexit — crystal clear — just how this works, what folly it is. In our societies, some people are taking agency away from others, en masse, suddenly, so that they can feel more powerful. But this isn’t how agency works. I don’t have more agency because you have less. We all just have less.

Because of course my agency is enhanced when yours is liberated. It’s the old point about maybe you being the kind of genius that creates a vaccine that cures my cancer. Doesn’t matter — you see the logic. It’s true even at a mundane level. Maybe you become the teacher who educates my kids. But in an America where women are under attack? Where they increasingly don’t have…basic freedoms? Their chances, their possibilities, are seriously, starkly diminished. That is what statistics like “high maternal mortality” or “falling longevity” mean.

Let me point out again how foolish and bewildering this situation is. In our societies, there are groups of people who are now hell-bent on taking other people’s agency away — whole social groups of them — just so that they feel more powerful.

This road, of course, is fascism. Not leads to, really. But is. If I say to you, “sorry, you don’t deserve rights, and I have the power to take them away from you, because I’m superior to you — supreme over you, in fact,” well — that’s the essence of fascism. This is what the fascist wave ripping across the world like a tsunami is about: taking agency from people, so that you feel more powerful.

Let’s call this what it is: the theft of agency. Because agency isn’t some kind of privilege. It is a Mother Right. It is an inherent property of being a person. Personhood is in essence the recognition that you are an agent, of many kinds — moral, political, social, economic, and those forms of agency, being inalienable, are guaranteed by rights.

Our side is weak. Often spineless. Usually silent. We should begin calling this what it is. The theft of agency.

We should say that loudly and strongly whenever the other side, in bad faith, says, “but you’re the real fascists!” Are we? We’re not trying to take away anyone’s agency. Worship whatever God you like. By all means, don’t read books, or even read Ron DeSantis’s new book. We’re not trying to ban it. Only one side is engaging in the theft of agency. The GOP. The Brexiters. India’s fundamentalists, America’s fanatics. Russia’s warlords, their hands drenched in blood. This is what fascism means. Is. Does. In its essence. The theft of agency.

That implies, of course, that there are people in the world who feel powerless. So powerless that the only way they can feel potent and strong again is to…steal someone else’s agency. Why is that?

That brings me another form of agency. Economic agency. That, too, is in staggering decline. Consider someone in their 20s or 30s today — the now familiar observation about them. Their grandparents could afford homes, retirements, even vacations, on average incomes. Today? LOL. Good luck buying a house, kid — you’re going to need it, unless you can inherit one. Hence, the rise of “delayed adulthood” and all the other names that soften the blow. The point. Which, again, is the staggering loss of agency.

We now have four to five generations in accelerating downward mobility. Gen X was the first, and its fortunes stagnated. Millennials saw seriously declining outcomes. And Zoomers, of course, are doing sharply worse than them. Add the in-between cases, and that’s a long-run, intergenerational trend. But what does it mean? To face downward mobility as a long-term trend? It means that you can work as hard as your grandparents — harder, in fact — and not realize nearly the same outcomes. That you can never afford a home, retirement, a vacation, LOL, which are increasingly luxuries for many, as you go down the generations. But there’s a simpler way to say that: the staggering loss of agency. What does it say when entire generations can’t afford a home? What’s more basic than that?

Economic agency has declined and withered in startling ways. Take the now-famous example of American never retiring, or facing medical bankruptcy, or choosing between healthcare and food. Think of what a startling loss of agency all that is. Never retiring? That’s years of your life, gone. Going broke? Living right at the edge? Never being able to save? Those all come with a steep “opportunity cost,” as we economists say — think of all the things people will never be able to do, be achieve, because, well, basically, they’re trapped in a cycle of paying off interest on a lifelong merry-go-round debt that spins ever faster to “hedge funds” and “investment banks.”

We all lose this way. Because the lesson of agency, again, is that we are all better off when each of us has more of it. When I can dedicate a few years of my life to writing that great novel, pursuing that line of research, tinkering away in the garage on that invention, or just learning how to be something better than this poor frustrated cog in the machine of predatory debt and declining living standards? I ultimately benefit you. Not every time, not as a sure thing. But — crucially — better, far better, than average.

It’s a winning bet for societies to take. This is the story of how civilization sparked a Big Bang in human progress. It would hardly have happened if 1% of us had still been kings and “nobles” and 99% of us still peasants and slaves. Progress and agency have always gone hand in hand.

That brings me to the next form of agency you can see declining in the world today. Social agency. What does that mean? I often think about these startling statistics. 3 in 10 of Americans say don’t have a best friend. More than 1 in 10 Americans don’t have any friends. About half of Americans say they have less than three close friends. Those are startling, disheartening, dystopian numbers. And what’s worse is their acceleration. “More troubling is perhaps the change at the other end of the scale, where the share of people saying they have no close friends at all went from just 3 percent in 1990, to 12 percent in 2021.” In other words, this quadrupled in the last few decades.

That is the loss of social agency. It isn’t “pointing to” it, or “indicating” it — that is it. Agency is, in a sense, possibility. Social agency is the possibility that I have to form social bonds. In a way, the results above shouldn’t be startling, because in America, social capitals — bonds, ties, trust — has been imploding catastrophically for decades now. But to see the tangible outcome is striking and incredibly bleak. People don’t have friends. Friendship itself is in decline.

That’s an eminently disturbing thing, because, social agency matters, and it matters profoundly. What do social bonds do? A whole lot more than we think. They keep us healthy. Happy. Sane. Grounded in communities. They protect us from a range of harms, from providing safety nets against vulnerability and poverty, to shielding us from radicalization with reality checks, to letting us share in the happiness of others, to giving our lives a sense of shared meaning and purpose. In the end, they glue our societies together. And that’s crucial for politics not to descend into authoritarianism — where people openly hate one another, like they do in America.

Sometimes, this is called a “Friendship Recession.” That’s not a bad word for it, but in no way does it really indicate the harm being done here. You see, social bonds are delicate things, with long-lasting effects. Lonely people? They suffer in intense ways. Sure, some us like to be alone — that’s not the same thing. I’m an introvert, but loneliness is different. It has immense costs in terms of health, happiness, trust, sanity — which add up in devastating ways for a society. Like they’ve done in America.

It’s not a coincidence that the part of America that’s the most vulnerable to radicalization is also the one that’s experienced a profound loss of community, a rapid decline in social capital, the sundering of social bonds and ties. That’s a relationship. And a predictable one.

The loss of social agency, we can see now — just as great minds like Durkheim and Freud predicted — makes people go crazy. It leads them to collective delusions, like the American right believes in — the “woke mob” controls everything, and it’s committing a genocide on us! We have to strike back. The loss of social agency is experienced as everything from persecution fantasies to genocidal revenge fantasies to the sudden placing of religious levels of faith in demagogues and charlatans who champion leading such violent crusades. Like Trump, of course, or any number of junior GOP figures like DeSantis now gunning for the throne.

The loss of social agency is profoundly traumatizing in this way. Where’s it coming from? It’s linked to the loss of economic agency. If all you’re doing is working around the clock, at some job which has absolutely no point, except to make some billionaire even richer, and you barely get time off, benefits, you’re treated as a commodity, abused, demeaned, made to feel worthless — what time and energy do you have to invest in relationships? Real ones? All you want, mostly, is a target. Someone to take out all that rage and frustration on. Along comes a demagogue offering a scapegoat, and the rest is history. And if you don’t even have that? If you face no future in a decrepit used-to-be-a-town, and nobody much cares about you? All of that’s multiplied, aggravated, to explosive proportions.

All that brings me to the loss of cultural agency. Take a look at our age culturally. See how bleak it really is. We have — LOL — essentially nothing, culturally speaking. No great…anything. Books. Art. Music. Film. We don’t have an Orwell, a 1984, a Lennon. We don’t have a Hannah Arendt or an Adam Smith or a Jean Jacques Rousseau. What do we have? We have…LOL…Jordan Peterson. Squeelon Crusk. We have manfluencers teaching young men that the reason they’re struggling is because everyone hates them, especially women, and all those people are really just subhumans who deserve to be violently abused — and they make fortunes for it.

We have so many Marvel movies nobody can even count them — but barely any (are there any?) about the reality of…anything…from climate change to stagflation to what our civilization needs to do to reinvent itself to the kinds of changes we are going to need to make as people to get there to what forms democracy and society should take in the future if they’re to survive. We have a million, billion songs that sound exactly the same, and mean and say nothing, and not one — not one — on the level of “war is over,” culturally, a manifesto about something as noble and timeless and great as ending human violence.

That’s not a rant. It’s an observation. I’m not saying “this stuff sucks!!” Wrong. I watch it and listen to it, sometimes, and hey, I like some of it too. Who doesn’t like watching aliens blowing up things? Well, apart from my wife and all her friends, that is. I’m observing that it’s meaningless.

This is the loss of cultural agency. Art is there to do something. It has a purpose. Maybe that’s a controversial statement, but it shouldn’t be. It’s only controversial to the kinds of failed artists who become…critics. But anyone, really, who’s in it for the art? Does it like Lennon did. Orwell did. And millennia before them? Ovid did. Aeschylus did. To teach humanity something. Not to make the same mistakes, over and over again. To remember, forever, what folly and ugliness the human mind and soul are capable of — and what, too, at their highest, they can achieve. Art is there for a reason. Culture exists for a social purpose. Sure, there’ll be tons of annoying junior professors who won’t like me saying that — but so what? Do they really think that Aeschylus wrote his great tragedies…for the same reason that Marvel movies are written? That Lennon wrote lyrics as shattering and straight to the heart as “nothing to kill or die for…you may say I’m a dreamer…but I’m not the only one…” for the same reason LA music industry churns out its barely-even-pedestrian formulaic garbage?

Don’t kid yourself. Art exists for a reason. That reason is to expand our agency. Our moral agency. When we read a book like 1984 or A Clockwork Orange or Handmaid’s Tale or To Kill a Mockingbird — suddenly, our moral agency, which may have been just a seed, expands at the speed of light. We understand. If we go further, and we read things like Aeschylus’s Oresteia, or Brecht’s poems, or Sartre’s plays, or Arendt’s essays — our moral agency undergoes a phase shift and becomes pure light. Something that enlightens everyone around us. The world around us.

Art exists for a reason, and that reason is moral agency. But today? We’re not elevated and expanded by this sad excuse for a culture. We’re diminished by it — as moral agents, our will and power and inclination to go out there and change the world, demand a better one, improve the state we found it in, do better for our grandkids…all withers away. Atrophies, like a dying muscle. Because the purpose of this culture? Is to deaden us. Quite literally. Why do we watch Netflix? Reality TV? Why do engage in the ritual of “hate-watching” shows about people we don’t like? It’s not so that anything in us awakens. It’s so that we’re sedated, narcotized.

So we don’t feel the pain. Of what? Of losing all the other kinds of agency. Of watching our economic possibilities go up in flames. Of experiencing our social agency being torn apart. Of having our political agency stolen from us by fanatics and lunatics — and then being told we’re not to even call it that by pundits, which is another form of theft of agency, on top of the first. After all that? All we want is for the hurt to stop. Someone, please. Take this pain away. Just for a moment. Carry my suffering. It’s too heavy for me. I can’t bear it anymore. It used to be — Mick Jagger said — just a shot away. Now? It’s just a click away. No more pain. Marx said religion was the opiate of the masses. He was wrong. Today? It’s Netflix, YouTube, Instagram. But this Opioculture comes with a price. The catastrophic loss of our moral agency.

In all these ways, my friends, I see something tragic happening in this age. The loss of agency. In staggering, profound, great, grave ways. I think that is what history will remember this age for. I don’t know a good word for that. I don’t think we have one, really, yet — the loss of agency. Because agency itself is a new enough idea that we have barely begun to really teach it well, or even conceptualize the thing it means well. Aeschylus, Camus, Brecht, Sartre, De Beauvoir — right down to Lennon and Orwell? I suspect they would’ve agreed: it’s a clumsy word, for a much bigger, more beautiful, nobler idea. That idea is about liberation. From the true plagues of humankind. Ugliness. Ignorance. Rage. Hate. The idea that if I just make you hurt, I’ll hurt a little less. All that has ever done? Is increasing the suffering in this scarred, jagged world. Not redeemed. It. Transformed it. Lifted it. Freed it, to become something better.

That is where we have to go, and yet this is where we are. I don’t have the answer you’re looking for, about how to get there from here. I wish I did. All I have, these days, is a sense of grief, right down in my bones that all this happening, this way, on this scale, at all. This loss of agency, the erasure of it, the death of it, the theft of it. As all those wise souls tried to teach us: just as agency itself — liberation, possibility, virtue, wisdom, grace, truth, beauty, all lthe things that clumsy word can mean, but doesn’t quite say, the way that Lennon and Camus and Sartre and De Beauvoir did — just as agency is the Mother Good, so too, the atrophy of it is the most ancient, foolish mistake of all

[my-mt-heart]

Is it normal to film a season 2 of a show before a season 1 even airs? I thought a 2nd season of a show would only be ordered if the 1st season actually did well in ratings? I hope this question isn’t stupid, or maybe I’m not getting the gist of what you’re saying. I really am confused as to why they are already filming season 2 of the DRyl spin-off. Thanks for your time.

(Definitely not a stupid question, especially considering we're talking about AMC who never seem to do anything the "normal" way haha) I wouldn't say multiple season orders are super common anymore for a new show, but Daryl and Carol already have a very loyal fanbase, so I can see why AMC would be more confident that people would tune in. No guarantee that we'll actually get to see S2. They need to not go bankrupt first and they need to give Caryl fans an incentive to watch S1. The promise of Carol's return won't be good enough if they damage Daryl's character and Caryl's relationship before she gets there.

[marmee413]

Another minute and today's my Birthday

Yesterday I ranted about the school district. Today, I’m sad. I surveyed the students in my classes this morning, and only 5% of them found any -ANY-value in high school.  

I’m sitting in a class where it’s obvious the teacher cares, who assigns assignments to encourage students to think about their subject matter. Seniors care a little, Juniors, too. Freshmen?  They see high school as a complete waste of time. Maybe that’s just because they are, well, freshmen. 

There are so many confounding variables.  

________________________________________

Just finished Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury. 

What a read. I read it before. I was young and couldn’t completely  comprehend the depth of his words. I know it impacted me, though. I read everything I could get my eyes on.  

After finishing the book today, I became despondent. Have I done enough to be remembered?  Have I become one of the people of the city who only wanted fun and to laugh (not bad things to want), live as shallowly as the people around me, only concerned with hair and appearances as well as nail polish, and the car they drive? Have I lost my depth of thought? 

Am I a calamity howler? Do I still think too much?

I’m sickened that I don’t remember things. Events, thoughts, things I’ve read that I thought were important to know. I’m ashamed I don’t have a bucket of knowledge to ladle from in order to help others, especially my children, have a wise and good life.

I’ve lost the quote that shot me. A man’s grandfather died. He lamented not the loss of his grandfather the person so much, but the man’s things he did. “...he was a sculptor. He was also a very kind man who had a lot of love to give the world…made toys, did a million things in his lifetime, he was always busy with his hands. …when he died…he would never carve another piece of wood, or help us raise doves and pigeons in the backyard, or play the violin, or tell us jokes the way he did. …when he died…there was no one to do [the things] just the way he did.”

The grandson went on to say how his grandfather was important; “The world was bankrupt of ten million fine actions the night he passed on.”

The grandfather had said “Everyone must leave something behind when he dies. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched in some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die/ And when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there.”

It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as your work changes it into something different from what it was before you touched it. [paraphrased}  It has to be something you have touched. 

“Stuff your eyes with wonder. Live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made of paid for in factories. Ask no guarantees, ask for no security, there never was such an animal and if there were, it would be related to the great sloth which hangs upside down in a tree all day every day, sleeping life away. To hell with that, shake the tree and knock the great sloth down on his ass.”

After reading this, I felt a total failure. It hit me so hard, I believe it is the basis for my continuing depression.  What have I done for anyone? Do I have a legacy? I can’t find a positive slant to give this feeling. And it has to come from within. My friends can’t say, “Well, you’re good for [blah blah blah]. 

In my shallow head, I thought maybe I just wasn’t getting enough sleep. But I have, and I’ve been drinking enough water. These are two of my triggers, dehydration and lack of sleep.

Not sure what I will do with myself.

[olko71]

New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on https://yaroreviews.info/2023/12/smile-direct-club-customers-gutted-and-left-in-lurch

Smile Direct Club customers 'gutted' and 'left in lurch'

Chantelle Jones

By Lora Jones

Business reporter, BBC News

Customers of Smile Direct Club have told the BBC how they feel “left in the lurch”, “outraged” and “gutted” after the remote dentistry firm shut down.

Chantelle Jones, 32, paid a total of £1,800 to straighten her teeth before her wedding next year. While her top teeth had aligned, she was waiting for new moulds for her bottom teeth.

“I’m not sure if I’m going to get any money back,” she said.

Dentists have also expressed “great concern” for stranded patients.

Late on Friday, it emerged that a last-minute rescue attempt for Smile Direct Club had failed as the company was weighed down by debt.

“I found out in a TikTok video that they’d gone bankrupt. I think it’s an absolute disgrace how they have treated customers,” says Chantelle from Churchdown in Gloucestershire.

“The worst thing about it is… the app has not closed down but when I click on the chat button it’s not there. They seem completely uncontactable and I’m just left in the lurch.”

Oliver, a photographer from Kent, spent £799 with Smile Direct Club just under two weeks ago in the hope of straightening his smile.

“I’m gutted. It’s a fair chunk of money and I feel a bit numb about it really,” he says.

Oliver

Founded in 2014, the orthodontics company styled itself as a disruptor to the “bricks-and-mortar” dental industry.

In traditional dentistry, “train-track” braces and clear aligners are fitted by dentists and orthodontists themselves, or a trained orthodontic therapist, after an in-person consultation.

Many customers were drawn to US-based Smile Direct Club because of lower prices, and the fact that they typically take the moulds for their aligners themselves at home.

The Nashville-based firm debuted on the Nasdaq stock exchange in 2019 and it was once valued at about $8.9bn (£7bn).

But it failed to turn a profit and in late September the firm filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in the US. At the time it had nearly $900m worth of debt, according to Fortune magazine.

And late on Friday the firm said it had made the “incredibly difficult decision to wind down its global operations”.

It said that any orders that have not yet been made or shipped have been cancelled, and apologised for any inconvenience caused. It recommended that if customers in the US, UK and elsewhere want to carry on with their treatment, they should get in touch with a local dentist.

There would be more information on refunds, it said, as the bankruptcy process determines next steps.

It has angered some customers, however, by saying that the “lifetime smile guarantee” it previously offered was no longer valid, while those with payment plans set up are expected to continue making payments.

Smile Direct Club dentistry firm shuts down

Dentists warn of damage from braces ordered online

Teah from the West Midlands told the BBC that she had paid a £135 deposit for her aligners about two weeks ago.

The treatment, which typically takes about four to six months, cost £1,739, which Teah was planning to pay back using the Smile Direct Club payment plan.

She says she feels “outraged and anxious” about the fact she is still being asked to make payments.

“It is not right that I [am expected to] pay such a large sum of money even though I didn’t receive any treatment or merchandise from them.”

The BBC has contacted Smile Direct Club for comment on Chantelle, Oliver and Teah’s experiences.

What should Smile Direct Club customers do?

Lisa Webb, consumer law expert at the organisation Which?, said that many customers would feel “adrift” due to the company going bust.

She pointed out that where refunds would be available, they will be handed by liquidators. “But customers will be at the back of a long queue of creditors so this is unlikely to amount to much, if anything at all,” she said.

She recommended that anyone in the UK who is still waiting for products, and has not had their order cancelled and paid via credit card, could also try to claim their money back via Section 75 under the Consumer Credit Act.

Dental bodies have also spoken out after the firm’s collapse.

The British Dental Association (BDA) said that it had raised concerns about the company offering plastic aligners remotely and the potential risk of misdiagnosis with regulators.

“Dentists are left to pick up the pieces when these providers offer wholly inappropriate treatment,” said BDA chair Eddie Crouch.

“It shouldn’t take a bankruptcy to protect patients from harm. It requires decent laws and effective regulation.”

Getty Images

And Anjli Patel of the British Orthodontic Society suggested that the firm was avoiding responsibility for customers’ treatment in a way that was “nothing short of scandalous”.

It is calling on watchdogs in the UK to ensure any firm providing orthodontics directly to patients in the UK are held to high standards.

Smile Direct Club vigorously defended its practices throughout and said consistently that customers’ treatments were reviewed by licensed professionals, while risks were listed as well.

In the statement on its website, the company said that it had “improved more than two million smiles and lives”.

But that is no consolation to those who now find themselves out of pocket with incomplete treatment.

Both Chantelle and Oliver regret being attracted by Smile Direct Club’s cheaper prices.

“I should have gone to my own dentist. Although it was more than double the amount of money – I was quoted £4,500 – I would have rather paid that looking back in hindsight,” says Chantelle.

Neither are hopeful of getting their retainers or their money back.

“I went cheap, and the whole phrase ‘buy cheap buy twice’ comes to mind,” says Oliver, adding that he was asking his bank for help and wanted to “fight his corner”.

Additional reporting by Emma Pengelly and Rozina Sini

Related Topics

Companies

Dentistry

More on this story

Smile Direct Club dentistry firm shuts down

1 day ago

Dentists warn of damage from braces ordered online

20 January

[anthonybialy]

Retiring Entitlements

I wish Democrats were right about Republicans wanting to cut entitlements.  It’d be nice for them to be honest for once.  Social Security along with government insurance for the elderly and underprivileged are treated like sacred sacraments of a sacrilegious religion that is bankrupting parishioners who must attend then fill collection baskets.  The worst sort of bipartisanship for the lousiest sort of coerced participation is great for survival otherwise.

Bankrupting America to issue a pittance because two Democratic presidents understood buying votes and not products is a reflection of our values.  Federal dispensaries deal the precise opposite of compassion, which makes the concept like every other governmental scheme.  The duped should notice consistency by the time they reach retirement age.

Pretending government can offer protections from life’s mean vagaries exacerbates them.  There are more figurative ways to learn how cruel irony can get.  Social Security is antisocial and insecure, but I’m certain that’s the sole time government has ever not created the precise opposite.

Explaining the system if it started today would lead to fleeing the timeshare office.  Washington will confiscate a portion of your paycheck and return it in a few decades when you’re done working.  Oh, and there are no guarantees you’ll get anything back.  Plus, the return will be so far below what was involuntarily seized that you’d laugh if you weren’t going to spend your golden years ironing aluminum foil to be used again.  As far as interest, you should have none.

You can’t call it an investment when money’s not invested.  That notion seems pretty basic, which is why politicians ignore it.  I wish what was pilfered were just sitting there, as the IOUs that replace them aren’t accepted by most retailers.

Forced contributors might be shocked to learn the percentage of growth is a bit worse than zero.  It’s tricky to visualize a negative number just like it is to miss money taken before it’s ever seen.  The sinister shielding from awful outcomes can’t protect from doom.

You may be shocked to learn that a government that’s racked up close to 32 freaking trillion dollars in debt is a little shaky at creating decent returns.  Federal retirement planning is the worst return on investment since Mark McGwire rookie cards, and at least a cardboard-based portfolio was voluntary.  Americans are punished for the crime of employment, which is a Democratic specialty.

It’s not going to matter what they claim.  Certainty doesn’t necessarily provide relief.  The indifference of mathematics operating in reality is cruel to big dreamers who want to move past the indignity of having to pay.  An unfathomable negative balance growing larger by the nanosecond explains why liberals loathe economics.  That doesn’t change how broke we are.

Check to see what polls poorly before deciding to address the impending financial collapse caused by buying votes.  There’s not even a good value for what’s being sold.  Entitlements for seniors poll well.  Also, children like ice cream and get mad when it’s replaced for dinner with a dish containing more protein.

Determining what style of ripoff is preferable doesn’t really result in a winner.  Robbed backers are either getting more than they put in or ending up with less.  Exploiters of the system join with suckers to demand the Ponzi scheme remain untouched.

It’s adorable to get to that age and think they have their own accounts.  Washington is at best holding money they took from you, and they’re far from said best.

I have bad news about your lockbox if you thought it was a box that locked.  I know it’s illegal for the government to lie, but their claims seem to not be quite close to the truth.  Your dreams for a comfortable life after telling your boss to suck it have been cracked open and looted by authorities who were safeguarding it.  Don’t fret, as they took what you thought was theirs by law.

The private sector wins every single time, including and especially when it comes to your own earnings.  Take the money being shredded in the capital and stick it in a mutual fund to have way more security.  Democrats try to discourage personal responsibility, as it’s bad for their business.

Bills would be safer under the floorboards than in our nation’s capital.  Buying insurance from the same place where you get cars covered would mean competition for your services, and those options are dangerous for tyrants who already dislike having to face voters.

Having to fix the sense of assurance is going as poorly as the nation’s checking balance.  Jittery politicians could announce a transition if they’re freaked out about offending voters who like having their money taken for decades in the hopes of getting some back.

Propose retirement accounts where participants get to choose where to stick their earnings that might actually result in ending up with more money, even factoring in the inflation brought by Bidenomics.  Or keep tossing funds into a federal black hole.  The paper not worth much, anyway.

Fearing voters who have their handouts handed back in is no way to reach forward.  Running from financial catastrophe is surely courageous.  Wait: it’s the other one.  The refusal to add is truly Trumpian in cravenness, economic ignorance, and dedication to federal filtering of confiscated funds.  Seeing the benefits of better quality insurance and quantities of money should entice Republicans to offer a valuable alternative.  The latter might even be worth more on account of printing less to hand out.  Treating currency like AOL CDs in 1998 has made them worth the equivalent today.

The illusion of protection is central to every federal scheme.  Seniors will be fine in retirement thanks to Washington as long as those born first don’t get sick or plan on spending money.

[mycomicbox]

All right, full explanation.

For the uninitiated, the Asterisks in Bravely Default and its sequels grant the ability to use jobs (Knight, Monk, White Mage, Black Mage, Thief, Spell Fencer, etc.).

I set myself up with this build:

Main Job: Time Mage

Sub-Job: Merchant

Support Abilities: Spellcraft, Steady MP Recover

The Merchant has a skill called Big Pharma, which allows you to heal an enemy, forcing them to pay you money. The money that you receive is based on the amount of HP healed.

Although any offense-focused mage job could have sufficed, I specifically chose the Time Mage due to having both damage (Quake, Comet, Meteor) and utility (Haste, Slow, Quick, Stop, Teleport).

Spellcraft allows me to shape my spells to give them extra effects (Dart, Needle, Hammer, Blast, Wall, etc.)

I find and locate a multi-billionaire. Any will do. This is easily the hardest part, since they don’t often just wander the streets, but the Teleport spell should make this a bit easier. Once I’m past that hurdle, it’s party time.

I incapacitate them and make them unable to move, likely by casting Stop.

I strike them with Comet, then heal them with Big Pharma... over and over and over again.

The billionaire has two options: listen to my demands, or be continuously pelted with shooting stars until they go bankrupt. Sure, I’m pulling them back from the brink of death every time, but from the pain, there’s no guarantee that their mind would stay intact. And as I stated before, every time I heal them, their assets get drained just a little bit.

With Steady MP Recover, I could keep going for as long as it takes. If anyone else tried to intervene (security, police, etc.), one Quaga Blast could bring them to their knees. Since literally no one could stop me, I could take breaks if needed, then go right back to summoning meteors.

And, if the need somehow calls for it, I can still switch jobs and change my skillset.

And tell me, who would dare to challenge someone who can drop meteors from the sky, utilize money in combat, instantly heal injuries, leap hundreds of feet into the air, move at blinding speeds, enchant weapons with elemental properties, invigorate allies with song, become immune to heat and cold, and train cats to spit fireballs? And that doesn’t even scratch the surface of the Asterisks’ power.

Me explaining how I would use the power of the Asterisks to redistribute the wealth of multi-billionaires:

[bloody-massacre]

Boardgames w the boys hdc (poly)

(Gif not mine)

- If you’re joining them on their game nights, you better bring some Advil because it’s a 100% guarantee you’ll get a headache. 

- You and Marko are the only ones who actually care to set up a nice area instead of playing on the cold floor of the cave. Marko grabs the blankets, and you grab the pillows, scattering them all of the floor in a cozy little nest.

- David is in control of choosing the games and setting them up, he unfortunately chooses Monopoly. Obviously, he’s the banker. You better keep an eye on him because he will most definitely steal a couple hundreds when no one’s looking.

-Paul and Marko fight over the dog. David’s the race car because he got first pick. Dwayne’s the wheel barrel because he claims it’s the closest thing to a race car? You’re the shoe.

- The game starts out pretty chill until the most expensive properties are bought. Dwayne’s the first to buy them. No one knows how he has so much money, he isn’t even stealing like David.

- Paul wants you to sit in his lap and is constantly touching you. You’re honestly not sure if it’s because he genuinely wants to be affectionate, or if he’s trying to distract you from which properties you’re landing on.

- Marko’s broke because he keeps buying properties and is scared shitless that Dwayne is gonna put houses on his properties. Paul thinks it’s hilarious. Everyone’s mad at Marko because he keeps buying the properties their trying to put houses on, so now everyone has incomplete set’s. Marko has at least one of every color and he refuses to trade.

- David doesn’t care about how the game works and keeps making people pay taxes. “Paul, you just touched Y/n’s shoulder. Thats $50.” Paul is so mad, don’t even. He literally throws the $50 at David.

- Dwayne’s the first to buy houses and everyone’s freaking out. “Shit, I only have $200.” Paul is having a crisis, and no one can stop him from flipping the board when he loses.

- All of the boys think its top comedy when you go to jail because you rolled doubles 3x. Dwayne laughed to hard and got jinxed on his next turn.

- Everyone takes a break by the time you’ve been playing for 2 hours. Paul’s on the verge of a meltdown because he has to win. David’s watching everyone in amusement because their going insane, and Marko is finally happy because he got his money back.

- One of the boy’s Paul may or may not pull you into a dark corner to have a quick makeout sesh with you before the game starts back up. Dwayne doesn’t have too many worries because he literally has the most expensive properties, but he still makes you give him a good luck kiss before the game.

- The game starts back up and David forces you to sit on his lap while everyone groans in jealousy. You end up falling asleep 30 minutes in after the break because it’s 4 am and healthy humans don’t stay up that late. 

- They 100% fight over your money and properties but David shushes them with a cocky look on his face because you’re draped over him and nuzzling your head into his neck. 

- You get woken up not too long later by Monopoly game pieces hitting you in the head and shouting because Paul had an outburst and flipped the board. Everyone’s yelling at him. Dwayne’s mad because Paul woke you. Marko’s pissed because he was finally getting rich, David’s mad because Paul made a mess. Last but not least, Paul’s mad because he got bankrupted. 

-Everyone has to face Paul’s Wrath ™ for 15 minutes

- “Screw this, I’m getting food.” Paul cussed and flew out of the cave, along with Marko and David. 

- It’s just you and Dwayne now. He helps you clean the huge mess, and fold the blankets. Afterwards you lay with him on the beat up couch, commenting on how you’re good luck kiss worked.