#I’m glad they’re making them friends like in the book I hope they expand on him more

[the-patchwork-girl-of-oz]

She’s known his name this whole time?

[myfairkatiecat]

Keefe (for bingo)

AHELDHKAUSHDKJAAHJSSHAKSBDKHSKSDSHAJAHDLDUSBSKSJSHALSHDHSKA

OK I CONTRADICTED MYSELF A LOT SO LET ME EXPLAIN

this is my favorite character of all time in any media, right up there with Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars, Nicholas & Nathaniel Benedict from TMBS (showverse) and Lancelot from bbc Merlin. Actually probably slightly above all those characters which is SAYING SOMETHING.

Is he comic relief? Yes.

Would I be his friend? Yes.

Has he done nothing wrong? Yes!! No he’s done many things wrong he’s so precious to me ok but the law he’s broken the law I love him so much he literally betrayed his friends I will always love him he has sooo much to answer for I’m glad Sophie forgives him after she chews him out she should chew him out longer but I suppose Fitz does that for her He has so many apologies to make but like he’s also done nothing wrong look I’m aware of my blorbo’s mistakes he’s honestly not as problematic as the tumblr fandom makes him out to be sometimes, and I MEAN that, but he’s also not as perfect and sweet as the eleven year olds on Wattpad make him out to be. He’s a LOT okay, you can’t analyze Keefe Sencen without the everything

Are my opinions unpopular? Yep! The other keefe girlies hate my opinions bc I acknowledge his character flaws and the Keefe haters hate my opinions bc I acknowledge the fact that he’s NOT an antagonist and actually has a lot of really good traits, and that’s NOT me making excuses. Also what are y’all on about saying he doesn’t get held accountable for his actions, like yeah Sophie forgives him pretty fast but not until she’s yelled at him, and the rest of his friends do NOT bounce back to normal (Fitz)

Do I relate to him? Yes, unfortunately. I have Fitz’s trauma and Keefe’s coping mechanisms (they aren’t good coping mechanisms but they’re literally mine)

Is the fandom wrong about him? Yes, the Keefe fans and Keefe haters alike. Don’t flatten this guy there’s SO MUCH THERE. (I’m not talking about my Keefe-negative mutuals—if I follow you, you didn’t flatten his character, I am very serious about Keefe Sencen)

Do I want to adopt him? YES I mean I’m literally his age but if I was old enough to adopt him I totally would, get that kid away from Cassius Sencen and kill Gisela Sencen. Honestly tho I’d settle for an Elwin adoption, dad!Elwin rocks

Did he need less screen time? *sighs in resigned Keefe fan* probably…objectively…yes…

Did canon do him dirty? I debated filling in this one. Because Shannon has made him a SUPER complex character. But also I swear if the ending of stellarlune isn’t the last time he steals something from Sophie to carry out a reckless plan he told no one about, I’ll riot. Don’t give him forward character progress and then erase it! If it’s a momentary relapse of bad habits I’ll allow it but I’m starting to want Shannon to let Keefe grow from all of that. Cause she keeps letting him get better—and then slip back. (Which isn’t unrealistic and I can work with!! I love him! But SHANNON PLEASE)

Do I want to study him? I want to get a full on PhD in this guy’s character arc actually

Did he need more screen time? Heh. Uh. Objectively NO. But also this amount of page time has allowed us to learn so much about his character complexities?? Like I’m torn between missing the other characters and eating up his character arc. Currently I’m gonna hope book 10 expands the other characters more bc I need more of them and 9.5 can feed my Keefe brain

Would I hit him with a golf cart? Listen my friend made this bingo game (hi Bods, if you’re reading this) and I know exactly what the actual intention was behind this square. But like. I want to slightly run into him with a golf cart. Just enough to slightly injure him and make him rethink his life choices (affectionate) (actually in the words of@phtalogreenpoison “I’d like to microwave Keefe. Just shortly”)

Does he need therapy? OH MY GOSH YES. I have thought this about other characters but SPECIFICALLY KEEFE HOLY GUACAMOLE GET THAT GUY THERAPY

Is he insane? Define insane. But I love him anyway (what is going on in his head half the time 😭)

Am I rotating him in my head 24/7? WELL YOU’VE READ THE POST WHAT DO YOU THINK

Do I have so many headcanons? Oh you guys don’t know the half of it. I have. So. Many. SO MANY

Is he wasted potential? Uhhhh I have too many thoughts on this to actually put it on this post. Genuinely love what Shannon’s doing with his character, like I said. But at some point she needs to. Address the things. Or he just becomes a guy with all these complications introduced that just kinda sit there and continue to change and grow and Keefe is the complex character to end all complex characters but Shannon you need to DO SOMETHING WITH THE MASTERPIECE OF A CHARACTER THAT YOU HAVE CREATED

The amount of bingos holy moly

Anyway

Keefe means a lot to me

Thanks for the ask anon!

[usmsgutterson]

Time and Time Again- Platonic! Tolya Yul-Bataar x Gn! Reader

Okay, this one was requested by the purple alien emoji anon! Anon, if you’re reading this, I hope you like it and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long--April was one hell of a month and May has turned out to be quite the same so far, but I promise any requests you send in will come out a bit more efficiently lol

Okay, just a bit of a quick disclaimer, none of the quoted poetry lines are actual lines from poetry, I couldn’t find any I liked in a lot of the scenarios so all of the poetry in this is entirely fictional.

Fic type- fluff!

Warnings- none

The first time you and Tolya had met had been in Ravka. You worked in a library in a small town in Ravka, and it became a place that Tolya frequented while he worked for Sturmhond, going to the library in his off days and finding you there.

You became friends quickly, bonding over a mutual love of poetry and lit. You expanded Tolyas horizons, something that had been a relief to Tamar when she found that her brother didn’t quote poetry nearly so often as he once had. 

When he’d left, he’d promised to see you again. “I don’t forget my friends,” he’d said. “You’ll see me when the war is over, Y/N.” 

You’d given him a grin, slipped a poetry book you’d thought he’d enjoy into his pack as he left. 

Then the two of you met again, your hair cropped shorter then it had been when you had first seen each other in the library you’d once worked in. Your eyes had been a different color, too, and your hair had been just a few shades darker. 

The second time you met, you’d worked in a bookstore rather than a library, never quite wanting to stray too far from your beloved books. 

“Why is your hair different?” Tolya had asked one night as you were wiping down the table Tolya had brought up five steps so that you could set up a poetry display. “And your eyes. They’re different to how I last remember them.”

“My hair isn’t different,” you’d said. “Nor are my eyes. Your memory is skewed.”

“My memory is in perfect condition,” Tolya rebutted. 

You laughed, shook your head as you moved to wheel the cart of books over to the table Tolya had brought up. “‘A memory as good as yours must make fools feel smart, my dearest enemy’“ 

“Vasquez,” Tolya said with a smirk. “The poem from her collection about the person she hates. That one is called An Enemy Who I Hold Dear. Page 102, line 22 out of 43.” 

“Ah,” you said with a grin, taking the stacks of books out and beginning the process of organizing them on the table. “You’ve still got it, then. Good to know.” 

Tolya scoffed. “Of course I do, Y/N.”

You laughed. “Yeah, Tolya. Forgive me for having my doubts.” 

Tolya grinned, part of him glad to be in your presence again. “I’ve missed you,” he said. “In Os Alta. Your presence at the library has been wiped clean.”

“‘I am everywhere, and I am nowhere all at once. I cannot be contained.’”

“Hanlen,” he said. “The poem ‘Everything, Nothing, All of It’. Lines seventeen and eighteen. Stop dodging my questions and my lead up into questions with quotes.”

“No.” 

Tolya gave an exasperated laugh, some part of him debating walking out of the bookstore. He chose not to in the end, though, and the two of you stayed talking for the rest of the night.

Then, Tolya returned to the bookshop at which you worked and found you weren’t there. Much as it’d been at the library, any record of your presence had been wiped clean.

Such was how it went from then on. Every few months, you’d crop up, with newly pigmented hair, eyes, a new name and new identity, working at coffeeshops, bookstores, bodegas and boutiques in cities all over Ravka. 

It wasn’t until Tolya found you in a bookstore in Ketterdam that he’d thought to ask you why you did as you did. Why you’d change a couple of things about yourself, assume a new name, and move along. 

“Why do you do it?” Tolya asked. “The hair, the eyes, the name. Hell, I think I’ve even noticed that the sound of your voice has changed.” 

“I--” you paused, took a sip of the coffee Tolya had brought in two hours before. “Do you really want to know?”

“It is something I’ve found most intriguing throughout the course of our friendship,” Tolya said, gently swaying the coffee in his cup to give himself something to do. “So yeah. Spill.”

“I’ve got a couple of heists under my belt,” you said. “Big ones. Think Fjerdan Royal Palace, Kerch museums, Kaelish museums, a couple of big jurda plants in Novyi Zem.”

“So you’re on the run, then?”

“No,” you said. “I’ve gotten away with these heists by quite the large mile, Tolya. I’ve just never loved the idea of living in the same spot for the rest of my eternity. I love staying on the move, gives me something to do and keeps any one spot from becoming boring.”

Tolya grinned. “I have someone I’d like you to meet,” he said. “We can go now, I’m meant to go back to the ship in the morning anyhow.”

“The ship?” You asked. “Oh, Tolya. If you take me to meet a pirate, I’m absolutely going to make you regret it! Pirates are the worst, as someone who’s worked with them too many times for their own good.” 

“He’s a privateer,” Tolya said. “Different then pirates. Just as willing to take on criminals, but less--” he gestured widely with his hands.

“Privateers have less oomf?” You said, nodding understandingly. “All right. I’ll meet him. What’s the goal?”

“That he likes you enough to give you a job, which he will,” Tolya said. “It’ll be a wonderful opportunity, Y/N. You just have to trust me.” 

And a wonderful opportunity it turned out to be. You and Sturmhond talked for fifteen minutes before he was offering you a job and you were accepting it, grateful that Tolya had thought to introduce you to him. 

Your life had sorted out, so it seemed, and that was all that mattered in the end. 

[fersauce47mediatalk]

About "Dating Amber"

SPOILER WARNING FOR DATING AMBER!!! (You should go watch it first it’s great)

You may have seen my post from yesterday about how a massive dick of a snowstorm is looming over the US at the moment, and I’m in the tip of it. I shovelled my driveway today. My back hurts. 

You also may have seen my post about how I was gonna watch Dating Amber a few days ago, and then tuned in for that and then wondered “Hey, didn’t this guy say he was gonna review it? Where the hell is that?” but I’m hoping that nobody cares how much I postpone rants. 

I just watched it for the third time. I’m gonna go ahead and say right now that it was almost a 10/10 movie. It’s peak. I’d say it’s the best movie I’ve seen in a while, but that’s only because I haven’t watched Forrest Gump recently. It took me 4 days to get this out, and I have quite a bit to say. 

I’ll set the stage. The movie is centered around our two main characters Amber and Eddie. Amber is lesbian, Eddie is gay. They’re both seniors in high school, and since this movie takes place in the 90’s, AKA before everyone was a flaming homo, they get berated for being queer. The movie is about them fake dating each other to save their reputations. 

I’m kind of glad that I watched it 3 times, because there’s a lot of small details you wouldn’t catch on your first watch. This movie is very keen on small details. For example, how in the milkshake scene Amber is ranting very passionately about the one book I forgot the name of. She asks Eddie if she’s seen it, and he says “No, but it’s on my list” and then she lets off of him a little bit because she’s thinking “Okay, that’s good enough.” Therefore, she knows how to quit on things when they’re just okay, and keep things real in the moment. This opposes Eddie, because he’ll just keep on prying until he gets what he wants. 

The character growth is well done. Small note, since the last paragraph relates: Later in the movie we see Eddie reading the book that Amber was talking about. Yet another small thing: There’s montage scenes that show characters having fun in a relationship. There’s two that I need to talk about. The one with Eddie and Amber shows them doing more friend-type things, and if you showed it to a straight person with no context, they’d say “Aww, look at those two really good friends!” but the one with Amber and Sarah (Amber’s gf) is CLEARLY gay. Amber and Sarah look SO much happier and more in love in this scene, even with the same music and relative editing style. 

Side note: The set design is amazing. You can tell that they didn’t do any CGI bullshit and shot a real movie. 

The casting is good, the families look like they could realistically be related. Eddie and his dad especially. They look very similar, and if you told me that they were father and son IRL I would believe you. All of Eddie’s family looks related. I do want to say that Eddie looks like Neil Cicierega mixed with skinny Steve Rogers. Anyone else see it?

Everyone who acts does an amazing job. I was never thinking “I wonder what other movies that actor is in” because I was so sucked into the story. I don’t know if that’s good for the actors, but it’s great for the immersion of the movie. You know how hard it is to make a bisexual not get their phone and look up “cast of-” on IMDB 10 minutes into a movie? Really hard.

I was gonna say that the end kind of appears out of nowhere, and yeah, it does happen fast, but that’s realistic. The same could be said with the beginning of them starting to date, although that gets expanded on better in later scenes anyway. Those two things are the only things holding this movie back from a 10/10, but that’s a personal preference, I’m pretty sure most people would think it’s fine. 

The pacing is good. I’m running out of characters so I won’t say much, but it never felt like scenes were rushed. The scenes were short, but not fast paced, if that makes sense. Also, the music scenes never overstayed their welcomes.

Okay, that’s about it. Go watch the movie if you like peak fiction and realistic gay people. I’ll have the Doja Cat rant soon enough.

[ggukkieland]

Hi. How are you? I hope you're doing good. 😊 I've been following you for quite some time and I usually check your recommendations and even checked your other link for those. So thank you so much for doing so because I've expanded my horizon to other authors and their stories. 💕

I just want to ask if you have some reco's for idol aus? I've been looking for some to read since I'm already reading Foolish Love, Fake Love so that's recommeded by you and it was written really nice that I've been rereading it and now I'm craving for more Idol aus. Hehe thank you again. Hope you have a great day ahead. - EJ💙

🌹 Hi EJ! I want to say your message and tone overall is just so warm? It made me smile and want to keep conversing with you 🥰. You’re welcome, I try to share as many authors, fics, discoveries, etc. I find interesting and glad others are discovering them too 💛💜.

Ah yes, for Idol AUs I actually panic every time I get an ask about this because it’s actually not part of my top 10 AUs (I listed my top AUs here). I feel like I’m forgetting a favorite fic when asked about Idol!au fic recs most of the time. The Foolish Love, Fake Love series I was drawn to the bodyguard/E2L component and I have to be reminded it’s an idol fic 🤭.

So, please accept this kind of messy quick list 😁  

🌹 Quick List of BTS IDOL AUs*

This is not as organized as I’d like it to be. I sort of pulled all the titles from:

reblogged ongoing series I’m reading (main blog) - tagged as #ongoing

monthly reading lists (main) - I also recommend going through each list and searching (I just know I missed some fics). I tag it well so just CRTL+F the word “Idol” to give you the fics

fic recs by theme (sideblog) - same process, I just searched each list and found the ones with “idol” tags

some of the fichunting asks (sideblog) - I filtered ones I’d like to recommend

Please try the readers’ recommendation too - I think there are some recos that are idolverse

*I didn’t include AO3 fics.

🌹 reblogged ongoing fics +  from my monthly reading lists (note: most are still incomplete)

Smoke and Mirrors minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong  - ongoing series Solo Idol!Jungkook, Gamer!Jungkook, Makeup Artist!Reader, Manager!Seokjin, Florist!Hoseok

The Dream Anthology @hobiandsprite -  JJK | ongoing, soulmate au, vet!reader, friends to lovers

Just Facts @yoongiiverse - JJK |  ongoing SMAU, E2L, dancer!reader

Foolish Love, Fake Love @manggojooz - JJK |  bodyguard!reader, E2L ⭐

Angel’s Trumpet @hansolmates - JJK |  supernatural au, alternate universe *series complete*

Navy @jjkfire -  JJK | childhood friends, secret identity/pseud  ⭐

Don’t Hold Your Breath @ilikemesometaetaes - JJK |  more of rockstar!au, exes au  ⭐

Open When @iluv-hobi - JJK | letter form, just fluff

Paper Doll @winetae - JJK | exes AU  ⭐

Playmates @scribblemetae - OT7 | 22.6k+ | Idol AU, Sex Worker AU, Strangers to Lovers

Price of a Wish @joonclouds - JHS | idol!hoseok, rich!reader ⭐

ILYSB @rkiverse - JJK | one shot | 11.1k | idol au, broken-hearted jungkook, love clinic staff reader, fake dating but not really (more of part of therapy) | F, A

The Night We Met @leftonraed -  KTH | 18.2k+ | Single Dad AU, Bodyguard AU, Idol AU | A, F  ⭐

Replacement @akinnie75 - KSJ | one shot | 24.5k | Fantasy AU, idolverse, body swap AU | F  ⭐

A Bite of the Apple @jinpire - PJM | one shot | 8.6k |  Supernatural AU, Vampire AU, Idol AU | S

Oh What a World [100k] @cutechim - PJM | A, S, F, fake/arranged marriage au, fallen idol au (being edited and reposted)

Tongue Tied @btssavedmylifeblr - 12k | PJM | S, F, minor A,  crack, demon au, idol verse, established relationship, pwp

Physcom @teawithkpop - OT7 x sex worker!reader

Not Allowed @whatifyoulivelikethat - MYG x Reader x Jungkook, real-time idolverse  

The Accountant @avveh - JJK | one shot | 3.4k | Idol AU, hired to relieve his stress 😉 | S, PWP

Strings Attached  @jimidol  - JJK | one shot | 4.4k | Idol AU, Friends to Lovers, FWB AU | S, F

from ggukkiereads:  completed fics + fichunting asks (will include asks that I’d recommend) + others in my drafts

Bands @xpeachesncream - JJK | Stripper!reader

There’s a section for IDOL AUs in this themed series  ⭐

Lost & Found @alpacaparkaseok - PJM | soulmate AU where OC cut the red string of fate. ⭐this is angsty nice

Book of Soulmates @/alpacaparkseok - JJK |  soulmate drabble that’s really cute

Just One Kiss @bangtsblossom - JJK |  established relationship, one baking day (fluffy smutty)

Appetence @jiminimoon - JJK |  canon-compliant,  established relationship, smut (I think the scenario was after JPN tour)

Owned @7deadlysinsfics -  JJK | secret relationship, interpreter!reader, pwp

Comfort Inn Ending @joonbird - JJK |  break up au, exes au, themes of infidelity, prepare tissues!, but satisfying ending for each character⭐

Hidden Stars @jungblue - JJK x R x MYG |this is so nostalgic to me since this is a classic. funny thing is it never registered on me that it is an idol au because I was so focused on the relationships  ⭐

Lost Stars @smoochkooks  - JJK | childhood friends, fuckboy au  ⭐

Angels and Airwaves @yeojaa - JJK | gamer!jk  ⭐

Recrudescence @chimchimsauce​ - OT7 x supernatural  ⭐

Baby, You’re Bad @forgottenpasta​ -  yoongi x pregnant!reader x taehyung (yoongi as sperm donor)

Sugar High @yeojaa - JJK |  series [16/16] | 33k | unrequited love, slow burn, childhood friends au, idol au |  F

Plot Twist @kimnjss​​ - KNJ | smau | Idol AU, Rapper AU, Rich Girl AU, Enemies to Lovers | A, S, F

Are You Going to Stay @hollyhomburg​ -  JJK | fuckboy, soulmate au, bestfriends to lovers

Be my Baby by @kimnjss - MYG | social media au, angst, exes to lovers au, fluff, smut, idol au  ⭐

Ghost Marriage @akinnie75- JJK | fantasy, idol au, kind of arranged marriage  ⭐

Ripped Jeans @kookiesjoonies - JJK | idol!au x seeing him in ripped jeans 🥵

Bloom + Sequel  @jamaisjoons - PJM | two shot | idolverse, hanahaki | A, F

Dead Roses @guksthighs​ - KNJ | drabble | idolverse, established rel (they’re like dating but no confessions of love), hanahaki | A, F

2 Years of Lost Time @kpopisthereasonihavenolife - JJK | one shot, 5.9k | strangers to bestfriends, idol!jk, hanahaki | A, F

The Fitting @noona-la-la-la​ - JJK | stylist!reader  ⭐

Also try @cupofteaguk​ fics - they have great idol fics in their masterlist  such as:   ⭐  all too well (series) | the endless winter (soulmate pjm) |  take my hand (amnesia)  ⭐

Always in my Dreams @sunshinekims​ - KNJ | soulmate au, dream au ⭐this is so nice, I’ve forgotten that Namjoon is actually an Idol here. I was too focused on the soulmate/dreams part

Make Me Proud @moonscriptsx​ - Agust D, both idols (part of my daechwita fic recs)

Hobi’s girl @v-hope​ - post-concert; hobi noticed a fan

Tactile Amnesia @tayegi - MYG | accident

Through the Night @nightbts - JJK |  stylist!reader, friends to lovers

I think my blogs are difficult to navigate now because tag search don’t yield all results (which I am currently fixing). But I hope you’ll find new favorites here! 💙💛💜

Enjoy and thank you for your kind message. Have a great day too!

[teawaffles]

The Fugitives from the Fire: Chapter 8 / End

——It had been an absolutely bizarre day.

After Sherlock Holmes and the others had solved the case, that was what the man known to them as Jerry Dorff thought.

Presently, he was walking along a thoroughfare in the city, a piece of paper in hand. He still wore the bandages that had made him a suspect in the arson-and-murder case; as people walked past, his unusual appearance sent them casting dubious and uncomfortable glances openly in his direction.

However, he’d already grown used to such negative reactions. Paying no mind, he continued walking towards his destination, and thought back to the events that had resulted in this curious appearance of his.

——Originally, he’d been a capable businessman: one who had expanded a retail shop into a major commercial establishment. But one day, he was betrayed by a noble he’d thought of as a close friend. He was kidnapped abruptly in the dead of night, shot in a deserted area of London, burned all over while still alive, and thrown into the River Thames.

Yet he survived. After being swept downstream, he regained consciousness; somehow, he managed to climb out the river and save himself. At this point, he thought of returning home, and telling his child and his friend that he was alright—— but the moment he considered that, he stopped.

The man who’d tried to kill him was part of the nobility: an institution which wielded absolute power in this country. If that man knew he’d survived, he would attempt to eliminate him once and for all. On top of that, he could even be placing the people important to him in harm’s way.

As such, the man relinquished everything. He gave up proving that he’d survived, a life of peace, as well as the chance to see his family and friends again. From then on, he never revealed his true identity to anyone, and led a solitary life in the slums under the false name Jerry.

However, just the other day, a mysterious letter had arrived at the inn where he was staying. Written on it was his real name, and some simple instructions.

To summarise its contents: an incident would break out at a nearby inn; he was to get himself involved as one of the suspects; after which, the famous detective Sherlock Holmes would solve the case. Then, once the man had seen that the case was resolved, he was to go to this address.

And in reality, in the case involving the famous detective, the man had indeed been caught up as a suspect.

At first, when he read the letter, he was wrought with unease that his survival had finally been discovered. But if that had been the case, it would’ve been an assassin rather than a letter that arrived on his doorstep. As such, he surmised that at the very least, the author of the letter meant him no harm.

Moreover, the occurrence and resolution of the incident had happened exactly as the letter said it would; from that, it was apparent that this person had considerable foresight. Hence, powerless as he was right now, it would be mean nothing for him to disobey those instructions anyway. Having arrived at that conclusion, the man resolved to head to that address, even as apprehension took root within him.

“……Only being able to go with the flow — just like a puppet on strings, huh.”

He murmured self-abasingly, then stopped. He had reached the address written on the letter.

He was in the heart of one of London’s shopping districts. It was dusk, and the street lamps were lined up like candles on a birthday cake, casting a gentle glow all around. As usual, the passers-by cast strange looks in his direction, but the man didn’t care a whit.

Amidst the stream of people, he stood stock-still, his gaze fixed on the enormous building before him.

This was the department store he had, in the past, guided to success together with his friend. It seemed that a big incident a while back had forced the business to close. But as he soaked in its majestic atmosphere, a sense of nostalgia surged into his chest.

Nevertheless, at this point, he was no better than a recluse. No matter what end awaited this department store — the very one he had watched grow like his own child — that had nothing to do with him anymore. How was his precious family spending their days? That was immaterial to him too.

A firm resolve; and within it, an inexorable sorrow and regret. Perhaps the one who’d sent this letter was hoping to dredge up these emotions within him. If that were the case, then although he didn’t know who they were, he was certain they had rather bad taste.

Carrying a faint indignation, as well as an emptiness in his heart, the man made to leave.

Then, a little further down the street, a carriage caught his eye as it slowed to a stop.

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

“——Hey, William. You came to my house all of a sudden, picked me up in this carriage, then brought me all the way here — what on earth are you doing?”

As they rode together in a carriage, that was what Helena Curtis asked William James Moriarty seated across her. His elder brother Albert was seated next to him, and their youngest brother Louis held the reins in the driver’s seat.

However, both William and Albert simply responded with meaningful smiles.

“You’ll know it when you alight……. Since everything up till now, has been part of my plan.”

“………?”

She still couldn’t grasp the meaning behind his words; but for the time being, she did as he said and descended from the carriage.

Then, she found herself standing before the place where that brutal occupation had occurred several days earlier, and where she had ended up making William’s acquaintance: that very department store.

“……Maybe they’re going to unfurl a banner saying ‘Congratulations on your reopening!’ or something like that?”

Helena murmured as she gazed up at the building before her. Now, its enormity seemed almost hollow. She had thought of this store as her second home; part of her had been reluctant to see it fade away, but she also understood that there had been no other choice. For better or for worse, she was an intelligent girl.

What on earth was their purpose in bringing her here?

With that question on the tip of her tongue, Helena was just about to turn back to the carriage, when a voice came calling out to her from the side.

“……Helena?”

“——Eh?”

Her gaze shot toward the direction of the voice; there, stood a man whose face was wrapped all over in bandages. As the evening sun shone on him from behind, he looked almost like a demon from a child’s picture book.

Helena was shocked.

But it wasn’t because this suspicious-looking man had suddenly called her by name. What had taken her by surprise, was that ‘colour’.

——A warm, and slightly lonely colour, like clouds drenched in the evening sun.

It was dusk now: perhaps she had simply confused it with the sky? No, definitely not. That colour had certainly come from this man.

Then, the man seemed to have realised something all of a sudden, and turned his face away.

“Apologies. It seems I was mistaken. You reminded me of an acquaintance’s child.”

He said that as if making excuses to someone else, then turned away and tried to leave.

But Helena stared right at his back and shouted.

“Dad! It’s you, isn’t it!?”

Her voice had been clear, and imbued with a strong conviction. The girl’s plea washed over him, and the man looked down.

“……You’re mistaken. I’m not related to you.”

“That’s a lie! Your colour is the same as my dad’s! I’m absolutely sure on that!”

At this point, her voice was already trembling. With all her strength, she dashed toward him. He’d stood there with his fists clenched, and his back still turned; but finally, as if tearing himself free from everything, he spun around and knelt on one knee, hugging his daughter in his arms.

“I missed you so much……”

Helena spoke, her face buried in the front of his tattered, worn-out shirt. Even without looking at her, the man knew tears were flowing freely down her cheeks.

“……It’s been so long. And you’ve gotten so big.”

He too smiled at his daughter, no longer caring about the gazes of the people around him. Just for a moment, it was as if the bustle of the city had faded away, and the evening sun bathed the reunion of this long-separated family in its tender glow.

If only time could stop at this moment, they wouldn’t have to suffer the anguish of the impending tragedy. With that thought in mind, even as he felt a pang of regret, he pulled his daughter away from his chest.

“Helena. I’m glad I got to see you again. But, it’s no use: if he finds out I’m still alive——”

“——You need not worry about that anymore.”

Right then, William called out to him as he got off the carriage.

“……You are?”

“My name is William James Moriarty. I was fortunate enough to have made friends with Miss Helena.”

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Helena spread out her arms in joy.

“Thanks to William, I also saved Mr Kevin’s life, you know. Also, that noble, Andy — he can’t lay a hand on us anymore.”

“Is that…… true?”

From within the depths of his bandages, the man’s eyes widened, and he looked in William’s direction once again. At that, William responded with a smile full of warmth.

“This may be a bit too sudden, and perhaps you will need some time to process it, but that will not be an issue. We have completely eliminated that which has been tormenting all of you.”

“That…… How?”

“About that, please speak with your daughter in your own time after this.”

The man was more bewildered than overjoyed; but William left only those words with him, and stepped into the carriage once again. Her face brimming with smiles, Helena looked at William in the carriage, as well as Albert seated inside, and Louis in the driver’s seat.

“To everyone in the Moriarty family: truly, thank you. No matter how many times I say that, it will never be enough.”

William bowed respectfully, and then the carriage set off. As he watched the man stand there blankly, and the young girl waving at them as hard as she could, a gentle smile rose to his face.

Seeing that, Albert chuckled.

“So, is this the finishing touch?”

William nodded.

“That’s right, Albert nii-san.”

——Searching for Helena’s father, and reuniting them. That had been William’s plan this time around.

In order to pronounce judgement on Andy at the survival game, they had been looking into what the man did to Helena’s father, when William landed on the possibility that he was still alive and in hiding somewhere.

They had commenced their search right away, but it seemed the man was leading a rather inconspicuous life — his whereabouts were a mystery. Hence, William took advantage of the department store attackers who had fled from the police.

Those men were born and raised in the slums; having committed numerous petty crimes for a long time, they were well-versed in the art of escaping from the Yard. Of course, among the streets they’d grown up in, they were also familiar with the best places to evade detection. Putting it another way, one could take it that wherever these men had chosen to lay low, that same place would be perfect for Helena’s father to hide himself, seeing as he wanted to mask his existence. Hence, as soon as the fugitives holed up in one place, William would probe the surrounding area, and when he’d determined that Helena’s father was not there, he would let the fugitives catch wind of the Yard’s presence, and drive them on to their next hiding spot.

After repeating this a few times, as William had predicted, they finally discovered a man who appeared to fit the bill. He stayed at a certain inn, calling himself Jerry Dorff; but having laid low for such a long time, the man had become extremely distrustful — it would be no mean feat to call him out to meet Helena. Forcibly abducting him was out of the question, and even if they had brought Helena to meet him, he might mistake it as a trap set by the noble who’d betrayed him.

After exploring various methods, William chose to send him a single letter. Written on it was a full description of the incident that would occur — serving as a prophecy of sorts, to show that he meant him no harm, as well as a final notice: hinting that he couldn’t escape the net William had cast. After which, all that was left was to send an anonymous tip-off to the police regarding the fugitives’ location.

Then the detective and the Yard moved to hunt down the two fugitives, and Helena’s father was led to this place. Everything had unfurled from atop the palm of the “Lord of Crime” — and all of it occurred without the slightest deviation from his plan.

As a modest reward, William had been able to witness a beautiful love between parent and child. Sharing a meaningful look with Albert, he called out to his younger brother.

“Shall we, Louis?”

“Yes, William nii-san.”

With that, Louis urged their horse on a little faster.

Now that their twilight-coloured plan had been accomplished, they were headed in the opposite direction from the sunset sky, still radiant with the sun’s last rays — and towards one which was already dyed pitch-black.

When the sun went down, this city would once again be ruled by the darkness of the night. They would continue to race through its darkest parts, and work towards their goal. Finally, dawn would arrive. All the darkness would be dispelled, and a new day would begin: one that would bring people hope.

The carriage continued racing forward in a straight line. As it disappeared into the streets that had begun to dissolve into the gloom, William James Moriarty smiled.

One day, the morning sun would shine upon this world, and the ideals they created would come to life — that, was what he believed.

T/N: …When Helena’s father was revealed to be alive, I was oh my god what if—— and then they did get reunited and I was about to cry… It’s a better end than I could’ve imagined! (tears of joy)

[qitwrites]

growing pains 

Fandom: Boku no hero academia 

There’s an absolutely atrocious, disgustingly gooey feeling curling around Bakugou’s chest.

He wonders if Recovery girl has any medicine for feels.

OR

5 times the Bakusquad tells Bakugou they love him + the one time he says it back

(AO3)

Ashido is many things. Book smart isn’t one of them.

No really, she’s got so much going for her with her dancing, her strength, her versatile quirk, her perky attitude and even her distinctive appearance, but she’s not one for the books. She doesn’t like them, and they clearly don’t like her back.

Her grades thoroughly reflect this hate-hate relationship.

Ashido tries though, she really does- even if it’s just cramming a few days before the exams, she tries to study. Yao-momo had even gone out of her way to help, but it just doesn’t do the trick. She knows she needs to get her act together and figure this out because she can’t be a hero with a failing grade, and the anxiety and fear starts taking its toll, leaving her restless and upset.

So, when Bakugou sees the pink-haired, pink-skinned pain-in-the ass sulking in the common room, he’s horrified by the words that leave his mouth-

‘Want my help?’

Ashido doesn’t even glance at him at first, choosing to stare at the wall forlornly. She slowly looks up to catch his eye, looks around, realizes that they’re all alone, snaps her eyes back to his and her jaw drops.

‘Me?’ She points a finger at herself. ‘You’ll tutor me?’

‘What did I just say dumbass?’

‘I just- BAKUBRO, THANK YOU!’

‘Shut the fuck up and get your shit. We’ve got our work cut out for us. And raccoon eyes?’

Ashido turns to look at him, eyes bright and shiny.

‘Tell anyone about this and I’ll kick your ass.’

Ashido beams. ‘It’ll be our little secret!’

To her credit, he sees her try. She’s distracted and constantly jumping up and down, too jittery to be in one place, but she also pushes herself to focus, to really absorb the material. Bakugou’s rough with her, the way he is with Kirishima, but he’s generous with the praise too, or as generous as he’s capable of being. It makes him feel all kinds of gross, disgustingly soft and gooey things when Ashido’s eyes go warm with pride when he pays her the smallest compliment.

They work hard for the two weeks leading up to the exams. Kirishima joins them for every session in addition to the stuff he does with Bakugou separately, and between the three of them, they manage to cover most of the syllabus quite thoroughly.

The day before the exam, Bakugou sees the nerves rolling off Ashido.

‘Oye!’

She flinches and turns to look at him, throwing him a sheepish smile. ‘Yes, Blasty?’

He bristles at the nickname but recognizes that there’s no malice, no intention to mock, nothing really- just a nickname meant for a friend. She isn’t provoking him- she’s just nervous and falling back on old, comfortable habits.

He grunts, ‘You nervous?’

Ashido chuckles. ‘Course I am! Don’t wanna let you down, you know?’

Bakugou smacks her lightly on the head with a roll of practice sheets.

‘Who do you think tutored you? Don’t underestimate our sessions. Get in there and fucking obliterate those stupid tests.’

Ashido’s smile grows more confident, and she gives him a huge thumbs up, bumps hips with Kirishima and jogs over to her seat. The bell rings, and the exams begin.

The tests are not bad. Bakugou notes that a good majority of the papers contain material that he’s covered with the two properly, and works his way through the problems, the equations, the literature, all of it. In the very back of his mind, in a place he barely refuses to acknowledge, he hopes that they’re doing ok.

A week after their final exams, Bakugou is walking back from the training centre when he sees a ball of pink approaching him at an alarming speed.

‘BAKUBRO!’ Mina hollers, arms raised over her head as she outright sprints at him.

Bakugou furrows his brow, chest expanding as he gets ready to yell at her when she interrupts him-

‘I passed EVERYTHING!’ Her smile is humungous, wide and warm and genuine to its core. ‘AND I ACTUALLY DID WELL!’

Bakugou doesn’t even realize he’s smiling back, that feral, triumphant grin he has when he beats someone during training or takes down a villain. He’s proud of himself, and he realizes, with a surprising amount of acceptance, that he’s proud of her too. Really damn proud.

He’s a bit slow to realize that she hasn’t stopped barreling towards him though.

‘RACCOON EYES, DON’T YOU DA-‘

Ashido collides right into him, sending them both tumbling to the ground. Bakugou curses the entire way, but Ashido out-laughs him, her body shaking with joy.

‘Thank you!’ She beams down at him, pulling him into a warm hug. ‘You have no idea what this means to me.’

Bakugou wants to push her off, wants to stand up, spew out some curses and stomp away, back to his room.

But he’s also proud. He’s also happy for her. He’s also glad she did ok. That she worked hard and was determined to make him proud and that she isn’t going to get held back or expelled or something.

So, he blames it on the summer heat when he not only doesn’t push her off but rests a hand on her shoulder, gives her a quick pat, counts to 10 and THEN shoves her away.

Ashido pulls off easily enough, still laughing. She bounces back to her feet, dusts off her track pants and offers him her hand. The blonde looks at it, huffs, and takes it with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

Ashido yanks him to his feet with a strong, firm grip and her eyes go soft and warm and radiant.

‘Thanks again, Bakugou.’

‘Tch, whatever. Fuck off.’

Ashido giggles. Her phone suddenly starts ringing and she pulls it out of her pant pocket.

‘Oh, it’s my parents, I gotta take this!’ She starts walking back to the dorms. ‘Let’s go out this weekend, get some food at the mall. My treat!’

‘I don’t want to fucking do-‘

‘Bye babe. Love you!’ And with that, she’s gone, her laugh echoing around the courtyard.

There’s an absolutely atrocious, disgustingly gooey feeling curling around Bakugou’s chest.

He wonders if Recovery girl has any medicine for feels.

---

Bakugou knows for a fact that Sero is 90% memes and 10% tape.

He has no scientific evidence to back up this claim of course, but he’s definitely right.  

The thing about Sero is that the longer you spend time around him, the more you can appreciate his stupid sense of humour, his great taste in mangas, and his ability to make the people around him smile.

Bakugou hates him completely, or so he tells himself. There’s no scientific evidence to prove on the contrary either, thank god.

So, with his shitty sense of humour and his easy-going nature, it’s natural to find Sero with a smile on his face. Not the kind of sunshine happiness that Kirishima has, but more of a mellow, easy joy. His body language exudes a relaxed vibe, immediately making the people around him lower their guard, and he shares a love for healthy food with Bakugou, earning him the blonde’s begrudging respect.

Bakugou finds the tape hero sitting at the kitchen island on a Tuesday night. It’s past Bakguou’s bedtime, but he’s hungry enough to warrant a midnight snack, though he’s not expecting any company. Turns out, neither is Sero.

‘Oh, hey.’

Immediately, Bakugou’s shackles are up. Because Sero isn’t smiling. He isn’t teasing him, there’s no humorous lilt in his voice, no mischievous glint in his eyes, nothing. He’s hollow almost, his skin pale and his eyes sunken in. Even his breathing seems off, too fast and too shallow all at once.

‘What are you doing up?’ Bakugou asks, quirking a brow.

‘Could ask you the same.’

Sero is barely looking at him. He has his phone in a vice-grip, and he looks like he’s going to throw up.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

Sero jolts at that, eyes darting all across the room, and he can’t seem to look at Bakugou. Can’t seem to sit still or calm down. Bakugou can taste his anxiety, and it’s making the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He feels protectiveness - strong and vicious and ridiculously overpowering - all the way in his toes.

‘Nothing, ha, I’m fine.’

‘Tapeface, I’m not fucking blind. If you don’t want to fucking talk about it, fine. Just don’t lie to my face.’

Sero finally looks at him, and he looks lost and scared and helpless. Bakugou’s never seen him like this, and the protectiveness surges.

‘I- I didn’t expect anyone to be awake. I’m not sure, you know, how to talk about it. I don’t even know what to do.’

Bakugou grunts to show him he’s listening before turning around and slowly pulling things out of the fridge. He remembers Sero’s love for fruits and soy and all things healthy and decides to make some Mapo Tofu. Not because Sero will like it or anything, the blonde just really likes Mapo Tofu, ok?

Bakugou begins the task of pulling pots and pans out of the cabinets and gets to prepping the ingredients. He keeps himself busy and fills the space with the comforting sounds and smells of food because he is an expert at being unable to talk about his feelings. To articulate his thoughts sans anger and rage and panic. And he finds that it's easier, even if only a little, to talk when the focus isn’t just on you. When there’s stuff going on, when there are other focal points. It’s less scary.

‘My mom is getting surgery.’

Bakugou pauses in his movements. He stays still long enough to indicate to Sero that he’s listening but goes back to work so the focus is still on the food, so Sero will continue to speak. His voice is uncharacteristically soft and so pained, and something in Bakugou churns horribly. He works more softly, so he can hear everything.

‘She’s had medical issues all my life, so it’s nothing unexpected. She gets surgery pretty often, but it’s never any less scary.’

Bakugou can’t even imagine what that’s like, to have a parent regularly undergo medical treatment and surgical procedures.

‘It’s the first one since I got to the dorms. I’ve never been this far away, and I can’t-‘ Sero’s voice chokes. He breathes deeply and continues ‘-I can’t calm down. I begged them to let me come home but they refused, said I need to see this UA thing through, do my own thing, all that.’

Bakugou continues to cook. The kitchen smells warm and spicy, and the sound of sizzling spices saturates the space between them, and he thinks he can sense Sero calm down a little.

‘I get it. I do. They're right and logically, I can accept that. I just. Fuck, this is horrible.’

Bakugou doesn’t offer any words of comfort or advice because what does he know? He has no idea what Sero is going through, and anything he says might sound insincere or plain insensitive. So instead, he cooks. He cooks the meat, mixes in the spices, and tastes the broth. He works fast and efficient, his movements practised. When it’s done, he plates up two bowls, and sets one in front of Sero, taking the seat next to him. Sero’s at the head of the table, so Bakugou ends up on his right.

Sero stares at the bowl and then looks up at Bakugou.

‘Mom makes me Mapo Tofu when I’m upset,’ he grumbles by way of an explanation. The blonde proceeds to douse his serving in extra chilli oil and peppercorns because he made the overall dish at a much more tolerable spice level. NOT for Sero or anything, just because. You know. For the fuck of it.

Sero stares at the bowl of food silently before picking up the spoon.

‘I haven’t told the rest because I couldn’t find a way to talk about it.’

Before Bakugou can figure out a way to respond to that, Sero continues, ‘I’m glad you know, is not so bad to have someone to talk to. Or at, I guess.’

Sero digs in, and after the first bite, his eyes light up.

‘Holy fuck,’ he breathes, ‘this is so good.’

Bakugou smirks, digging into his own bowl and humming in agreement. It’s probably the best Tofu he’s made so far.

‘Shit man,’ Sero says in between big bites, ‘I freaking love this. And you. But mostly this. But also, you. Like 65-35? Maybe 60-40.’

The blonde snorts and Sero’s grin gets wider. They eat in relative silence, with the occasional comment from Sero and the sounds of them kicking each other playfully under the table. When they’re done, Bakugou rinses the bowls in the sink and joins Sero on the couch in front of the TV. It’s gotten ridiculously late, but he doesn’t want to leave him alone.

Sero rubs the back of his neck. ‘I uh, I don’t want to go to my room right now.’

Bakugou leans over the couch, grabs two throw blankets from a bin nearby and flings the yellow one at Sero.

‘Play that cool documentary on speedcubing,’ he barks out, tucking himself under his own red blanket. Sero gives him a wide-eyed look before navigating to the right piece on Netflix. He gets comfortable under the throw, and they fall asleep to the sound of people solving Rubix cubes at inhumane speeds.

Shoji finds them like that in the morning and gently shakes them awake. Sero’s phone has a message from his parents, telling him everything’s alright, and that’s the only reason Bakugou forgives him for gathering the blonde in a big, warm hug before the sun is even up.

He crawls into his own bed 5 minutes later, and his heart feels lighter than ever.

Maybe an antacid will help with all of these stupid, horrid feels.

---

Bakugou doesn’t like people.

As a general rule of thumb, he dislikes them almost instantly. People are loud. They’re invasive, annoying, clingy, and they never smell good.

People are also cruel and selfish and use you as they please.

Bakugou doesn’t like people; until he comes to UA.

Because the people in UA are loud, invasive, annoying, clingy, and never smell great either.

But they’re kind. They’re smart, driven, capable, funny. They work hard, they play hard, and they’re mostly selfless. They don’t flock to him simply because he’s got a great quirk or something. Truth be told, they’re all pretty formidable themselves. Grossly underdeveloped and years away from being at his level, but Bakugou knows that with time, all of his classmates will reach insane heights. They wouldn’t be in UA otherwise.

So Bakugou tries. Mostly because his stupid squad won’t leave him alone, but he tries.

When people hang out in the common rooms, he’s downstairs with them. If there’s a stupid Christmas party, or it's someone’s birthday, or the class wants to go out shopping or to play in the pool, Bakugou tags along with them more often than not.

There is a compromise though. With a social battery as small and easily drained as his, it isn’t uncommon for the class to find Bakugou chilling in a corner with his headphones in, simply taking in the vibe rather than actively participating. There’s no bad blood over this though- they kinda get it. Not everyone is as friendly or as vibrant as Kirishima or Kaminari. They’re honestly just glad he’s there at all, so they do their best to make sure he’s included while letting him set his own pace.

Bakugou’s in one of his recharging phases when he spots Jirou.

The earphone jack hero is wandering around, looking a little worse for wear. There are people from both 1A and 1B milling around, talking and laughing in the common areas, and the energy in the room is almost stifling. The blonde doesn’t miss the way Jirou covers her ears at one point.

From what he can tell, Jirou is an ambivert. She enjoys the company of others often, but she’s also perfectly fine being on her own, with a book and some music to keep her company. Right now, she seems exhausted, her own social battery running dangerously low.

Bakugou catches her eye. She gives him a small wave and he sticks his tongue out at her, pulling the skin under his eye down on one side. It’s petty and dumb, but he sees her huff a laugh and slowly meander towards him. Bakugou goes back to closing his eyes and tipping his head back, enjoying the familiar texture of the common room couch and the sound of the music in his ears drowning out everything else.

He feels the couch dip next to him, close but not too close. Jirou doesn’t touch him, doesn’t bother him, doesn’t shake or poke or otherwise engage him. She just sits there, stock-still.

When his eyes slip open again, Bakugou sees that she’s got her hands in her lap and she’s mimicking his posture, comfortably seated on the couch with her head tipped back. Her signature headphones are nowhere in sight though, and her eyes are open and red.

Distantly, Bakugou wonders if she’s forgotten them. That would suck ass- he’d be lost without his own pair. And Jirou’s relationship with music is on a level no one else can fathom- it’s literally part of her DNA, her quirk, her identity.

Bakugou isn’t sure what compels him to do it- maybe it’s because they both like bugging the hell out of Kaminari. Maybe it’s because Jirou is no-nonsense when it comes to hero work, which he can respect. Maybe it’s because, beneath all the teasing and smart-ass comments, Jirou has often looked out for him, advocating for the need for personal space when the idiot brigade drains him.

Whatever the reason, Bakugou finds himself pulling out his right earbud and holding it out for her, a silent invitation.

It takes maybe 4 seconds for him to feel the bud lifted gently from his fingers. Jirou is careful to not jar his own earbud when she adjusts his in her right ear, and Bakugou moves to raise the volume a little.

It is a bit annoying, yes, to have one ear open to the noise around them, but it’s not unbearable- far from it. He’s got some reggae on right now, a genre he indulges in when he needs to calm down and just relax his body.

When he turns to look at her, Jirou’s got a smile on her lips. Her feet are tapping to the beat effortlessly, and her fingers are mapping out the tune on an invisible fretboard. She opens her eyes and looks over at Bakugou, and her smile widens, crinkling the edges of her eyes.

Thank you, she mouths, flashing him another blinding smile. It makes Bakugou huff.

‘Whatever,’ he murmurs under his breath. The look in her eyes could not be mistaken for anything else- unadulterated gratitude and a heavy dose of love.

These gooey feelings are going to give him an upset stomach, Bakugou’s calling it right now.

---

Bakugou doesn’t even notice the pattern till Kirishima points it out to him.

It goes a little something like this- Bakugou feels off during training, or maybe doesn’t do as well as he’d expected on a test or project, or something just doesn’t go right. So naturally, he’s in a piss poor mood.

The squad’s antics don’t do much for him then, doesn’t really raise his spirits or anything, and he usually goes back to his room, slamming his door shut and pacing around like a caged tiger.

And that’s when his phone rings. The caller ID reads Pikachu.

‘What the fuck do you want?’

‘Bakubrooooooooo,’ Kaminari croons, and Bakugou wants to break something.

‘Fuck of-‘

‘You ever wonder if cereal is soup?’

All the fight drains out of Bakugou, leaving only confusion in its place. ‘What?’

‘Yeah, I mean, is cereal like a sub-category of soup or something? Wouldn’t that make sense?’

‘Dunce-face, what the fuck? That doesn’t even make sense? You don’t cook cereal?’

‘Yes, but you could eat it with a soup spoon. That should count for something.’

‘I hate you. So much.’

‘Aww, love you too bro. Ok, gotta go, byee~’

Bakugou stares at his phone, shocked and confused and annoyed.

But no longer angry. No longer pacing about, no longer in a foul mood.

Another time, after a particularly bad bout of training, ending with aching forearms and snarls of frustration because he needs to get better but it’s not happening fast enough, Bakugou wants nothing more than to scream into a pillow and maybe eat some hot sauce.

Again, he gets a call from Kaminari.

‘Wha-‘

‘Do you ever just think about pizza and cry?’

‘Huh?’

‘Yeah, I mean, I think humanity reached its peak when it invented pizza, you know? And that makes me cry. Such perfection.’ He can picture Kaminari making a chef’s kiss gesture, and it pisses him off.

‘This is why you called me? Are you fucking with me?’

‘It’s really an honest question Bakubro. Don’t you ever tremble at the sheer magnificence of pizza?’

‘Delete my number.’

‘No can do. Gotta go, love you, bye!’

And again, he’s gone, just as quickly as he arrived. And again, Bakugou is left feeling baffled and miffed but no longer angry, no longer itching to scream and claw and break something.

He still eats some hot sauce though.

Kirishima is with him after one of his bad days, sitting on his bed and trying to pacify him.

‘It’s ok, it-‘

‘Shut up, Shitty hair! Fuck-‘ His hands tremble with the need to just do something, vent somehow, to break the tension in his spine. He doesn’t want to snap at Kirishima, which is why he never lets him tag along when he stomps away to his room after a bad day, but the redhead can be ridiculously caring sometimes and Bakugou doesn’t want to hurt him.

He doesn’t know what else to do though.

‘Shit, I- you need to leave, get out before I-‘

His phone rings. Pikachu, it says.

‘Dunce-‘

‘I’ve decided that, in the event of an apocalypse, you and I are teaming up together.’

‘Wha-‘

‘I know you’d much rather team up with Kirishima, cause he’s so strong and handsome and he’s your best friend, but he’ll be fine. I, on the other hand, will die immediately. So, it’s just you and me Blasty.’

‘Fuck right off, why would I-‘

‘We could name ourselves the atomic blondes.’ Kaminari suddenly makes a whooping noise. ‘Damn, that’s perfect Bakugou! I gotta print tee shirts right now, we’d look amazing.’

‘I am not wearing anything that matches you, miss me with that shit.’

‘I promise it’ll be black, and like, soft, with skull patterns or something.’

‘Fuck off.’

‘I gotta go anyway, but you’re stuck with me Bakubro. Anyway, bye, love you!’

They end the call, or rather, Kaminari cuts it before Bakugou can get an insult or two in there, and when he looks back at Kirishima, he sees a big, goofy smile on his face.

‘What?’ he grumbles, tossing his phone on his bed.

‘He does that often?’

‘What, call me and say really random, really stupid shit? Yeah, all the damn time. I need to block his ass.’

‘Kinda sweet though, huh?’

Bakugou cocks his head. ‘What’re you talking about? It’s a fucking pain.’

‘Yeah, but you don’t seem as mad anymore.’

‘I-‘ And yet again, Bakugou is disgruntled and confused and irritated at himself, for getting swept up by Kaminari’s pace, but he’s not angry. All the fight has mostly bled out of his limbs, and he feels more or less normal if only a little on edge. Nothing too difficult to deal with.

‘Son of a bitch,’ Bakugou breathes. Kirishima’s smile is a tad wider, and he scoots over on the bed, making some space for Bakugou while he pulls out his laptop, ready to load up some shitty videos.

‘Tell him about this and I will never speak to you again,’ Bakugou grumbles finally, settling in next to Kirishima, leaning most of his weight into the redhead.

He feels Kirishima’s chest rumble with laughter.

‘Your secret’s safe with me.’

Bakugou wonders if anyone’s ever tried to harness the power of feels to run turbines or some shit, because this stuff’s turning out to be overwhelmingly powerful.

---

In terms of quirk compatibility, Bakugou has found his perfect match in Kirishima.

The blonde’s quirk is perfect for offence. Granted, it’s exceptionally versatile and he can handle his own just fine, but with Kirishima, he feels invincible.

Red Riot is unmoving, unabashed, and utterly unbreakable. He knows Bakugou inside out, knows his moves, his tactics, his signals. They fight like a well-oiled machine, adjusting and improvising with ease. Fighting alongside Kirishima, alongside Red Riot, is like breathing. They almost dance around each other, and between taking down villains and conducting search and rescue, they’ve made themselves a formidable hero pair even before graduation.

So, it’s not uncommon for them to be paired up even when they’re working and interning under different heroes. They’re that good.

They’re on a mission together when things take a turn for the absolute worst.

Most of the pros are down, caught in the crossfire or too busy protecting the civilians to engage in combat. There are fires blazing everywhere, smoke congesting the air around them so much that Bakugou can barely breathe.

Riot stands next to him, breathing slightly laboured but otherwise unhurt. Bakugou has a cut on his forehead, blood running down his face, but he feels ok. Good enough to rush into battle and do his part in subduing these shitty villains.

But experience has taught him better than to run in with no plan, even when he’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, eager to rush into the action. Experience has taught him that without a moment to catch his breath and restructure the plan to achieve their goals, he’ll be doing a lot more harm than good. It’s frustrating as all hell, but he’s a hero in training. You learn this stuff on the job.

‘What do you think?’ He asks the redhead.

Kirishima straightens out his back, hands on his hips. ‘The elemental quirk user will probably be the biggest pain in the ass.’

Bakugou nods. ‘It seemed like a water quirk. We need to get her away from the buildings, away from the piping. There was also that shitty smoke user, he’s the reason the air is barely breathable.’

‘Yao-momo’s masks would’ve come so in handy right now,’ Kirishima muses with a smile.

Bakugou grunts in begrudging agreement but doesn’t comment further on it. ‘There should be three other villains, all with high-level quirks. I’m not sure which other pros will free up to help, but we have to isolate them, move them towards the construction site,’ Bakugou points somewhat East of their current location, ‘as per the plan.’

Kirishima nods in agreement and catches Bakugou’s eyes and the blonde’s breath hitches.

They don’t talk about it, but here’s the other thing- they’re probably going to get hurt, maybe even fatally. Not because they’re weak or they want to or anything, but the villains seem endless. They’re fucking strong too, and even with an army of heroes, the villains seem to come at them harder and faster the longer this battle goes on. Bakugou can feel his own stamina start to vain, and he knows Kirishima will hit his limit too, slower than the blonde but still. There will come a point when Kirishima’s skin won’t harden and Bakugou’s blasts will lower in intensity till all he can manage are sparks.

And even then, he knows they will fight with their fists and their bodies and their teeth. That’s what heroes do- they put everything on the line, for the people and for justice.

More often than not, they lose their lives for it.

Well, for what’s it worth, Bakugou could not have asked for a better partner by his side in such shitty, dire times. Kirishima’s soft smile seems to reflect his sentiments.

‘Hey, Katsuki?’

The hero code of conduct frowns upon the use of personal names in costume. You have a hero name for a reason, and it helps preserve your sense of anonymity and privacy, even if it’s pretty useless at its job.

For Kirishima to name him, and first name him at that, just goes to show how serious the situation is.

‘Yeah, Ei?’

‘Make me some hotpot when we get back, ok?’

Bakugou inhales deeply, coughs because of the stupid smoke, and his fists clench tight enough to leave crescent moons in his palms.

‘Only if I’m in the mood, Shitty Hair,’ Bakugou retorts, his voice far too soft for the King Explosion Murder hero. But that’s ok- here is only Eijirou, Katsuki, and the world burning around them. Soft is ok here.

Kirishima’s familiar belly-deep laughter gives him a boost of energy.

‘Let’s kick some ass.’

Bakugou feels, for one glorious moment, like he can take on the entire world.

They take their first few steps before Kirishima steps in front of him, blocking off his path. When he looks up to catch his eyes again, the blonde’s protests and insults die in his throat.

Kirishima’s gaze is trained on him as he slowly reaches forward and grabs Bakugou’s right forearm with his right hand, fingers digging into the muscle. It’s a firm, solid grip, reassuring and warm and so very familiar. His eyes are bright, bold, and wine-red. And they’re so full of love, brimming with the kind of affection, respect, and adoration that Bakugou never thought he’d be subjected to. Kirishima opens his mouth as if to say everything his body is already telling Bakugou.

‘I know,’ Bakugou interrupts, voice hoarse. Because he does know. The redhead is his best friend in the entire world, his person, his rock. ‘I know, Ei.’ His own fingers wrap around Kirishima’s wide forearm, gripping tight with calloused, too hot fingers.

Kirishima flashes him another soft smile past his headgear before letting go. He waits for Bakugou to catch up and they walk together, side by side, equals.

When they see the first villain, doing her best to uproot an entire building, Bakugou casts one last look at Kirishima, sees his positively feral smile, and charges with the force of a wild beast.

There are no feels there, just adrenaline, rage, and trust so thick, even concrete would crack under its weight.

---

When you’re training to be a hero, things can go wrong.

Accidents happen. People don’t move out of the way fast enough, or there’s a domino effect of some sort, or the aftershocks of one attack reaches a place it shouldn’t.

Bakugou’s switched up his training partner, choosing to train with Iida to fine-tune his aim and work with a fast-moving target. His blasts hit the mark sometimes, but not always. The gym is huge, so they aren’t really risking anyone with their training; at least, that’s how it is for a while.

But then, Bakugou takes aim and blasts at Iida, Iida dodges swiftly, the attack takes out a portion of the rock formations in the gym, and suddenly there’s a landslide headed right at Hagakure and Kaminari.

Bakugou doesn’t even think about it; his body moves before his brain catches up, and he’s suddenly in front of the two, arms raised to obliterate the debris when he realizes that a portion of the mountain had been laced with explosives for someone else’s training, and his quirk would make things exponentially worse. With the last few moments he has, Bakugou shoves Chargebolt and Invisible Girl away roughly and gets buried under the avalanche of debris.

The last thing he thinks he hears is a chorus of voices yelling Bakugou before his vision goes black.

---

And that’s what Bakugou remembers when he wakes up to white. White walls, white curtains, white sheets.

Unfortunately, the noise isn’t white. It’s annoyingly and stupidly loud.

‘There are too many of you here,’ Recovery girl says, sounding exasperated. ‘He will be fine, he just needs to regain his strength.’

‘Sensei, a whole section of a mountain fell on him, how can he just be fine?’ Jirou questions, sounding severely distressed.

‘Plus, this happened while he was saving me,’ Kaminari chips in. ‘I’m not leaving him.’

‘I have a secret healing quirk of my own,’ Ashido bullshits. ‘He’ll feel so much better when he hears my voice. I have to stay, it’ll be a crime for me to go.’

‘I can tape his wounds?’ Sero offers sheepishly.

He can hear Recovery Girl’s sigh from the other end of the room. ‘And you?’

‘He’s my person.’ Kirishima says it like it’s enough of an explanation.

Recovery Girl clicks her tongue. ‘Overdramatic, the lot of you. Play rock paper scissors or something, but I’m only allowing one of you to stay. The rest of you are going back to the dorms.’

The room bursts into noise again and Bakugou’s head feels like it’s splitting open.  

‘HOLY FUCK, SHUT UP!’ The blonde roars from his bed. ‘I LOVE YOU GUYS, BUT IF YOU DON’T STOP YELLING, I WILL BODILY THROW YOU ALL OUT THE DAMN WINDOW.’

His own yelling does more harm than good to his throbbing head, but the noises stop completely so at least it did its job.

He’s alone for a blissful second before a crowd of five idiots surroundS his bed. Kirishima’s face peers into his, smile wide and eyes crinkled around the edges.

‘Hi, how you feeling?��

‘Like someone ran me through a garbage disposal and then put me in a microwave.’

‘Such details, much prose,’ Sero quips, earning him a chop from Ashido.

‘Blasty my love, can we do anything?’

‘Yeah, shut the fuck up and let me sleep.’

Jirou squeezes his calf from the foot of the bed. ‘You gave us a real scare there.’

‘I’m fine,’ Bakugou grumbles.

‘He will be,’ Recovery Girl reiterates, pushing them away and standing next to him. ‘I’ll do another bout of healing once you’ve recovered some of your strength. You can go back to the dorms before bed.’ She turns to his classmates. ‘Only one of you.’

They look at one another and everyone but Kirishima starts shuffling away reluctantly.

Kaminari lingers behind before quickly giving Bakugou a gentle hug. ‘Thanks,’ he whispers into his ear before pulling off and following after the others. Bakugou rolls his eyes and curls onto his side, yelping when he puts some weight on his tender side.

‘Easy,’ Kirishima mumbles, easing him onto his back. When Bakugou is finally comfortable, Kirishima drags one of the chairs lined up against the wall next to the bed and plops down, exhaling. Bakugou opens a tired eye to look at him and sees Kirishima with a stupidly smug smile on his face.

‘What?’

‘You love us, huh?’

Bakugou had hoped they hadn’t caught that, even though he’d screamed it loud enough for the entire building to have heard. Apparently, a cliff falling on you doesn’t stop you from blushing.

‘Fuck off, you were hearing things,’ he says anyway, because what is Bakugou if not in full denial about so many things?

Kirishima’s laugh is loving not mocking, and he puts his hand on Bakugou’s elbow.

‘Good to have you back Kats.’ He gives it a gentle squeeze. ‘Get some rest huh? I’ll be here when you wake up.’

Bakugou gives him a weak glare, but he can’t muster enough rage and anger because the absolute worst part is, he meant it. Because apparently being a rage-filled hero in training doesn’t make one impervious to feels.

Bakugou feels so betrayed by his own thoughts and emotions.

But right as he loses consciousness, he finds himself wondering if he minds all that much and he decides he doesn’t, almost not at all. The answer doesn’t really surprise him either.

He falls asleep to a cool breeze brushing over his skin and the sound of Kirishima humming under his breath.

[sepublic]

Infinity Train Book 4 Trailer!

           BOOK 4 TRAILER!!!!

           Ryan and Min! Those are our names, Ryan is the one with the glasses, and I think Min is Asian rep? If so, NICE…! Also, the gay vibes for these two are off the charts, the whole premise feels like the Infinity Train is doing couples counselling for these two, and I ain’t complaining! Already I’m seeing concerns about Amelia and Hazel not playing a major role here, and while I DO think they’ll likely cameo at least, given the outfits that Ryan and Min are wearing… Honestly, same.

           But! At the same time, I appreciate and am glad for the show to take an even more anthological, experimental trope that doesn’t necessarily tie back to past arcs, either! It seems that Ryan and Min are best friends with a knack for music who want to be a band, make it big… But there also seems to be some relationship issues, perhaps Ryan taking risks, while Min is having a more pragmatic mindset, and possibly settling on being more ‘realistic’? With how Min is chasing Ryan onto the train, and how that leads them into the Infinity Train… I have to wonder if Ryan did something rash behind Min’s back where he went ahead and bought tickets without permission, and then revealed this at the last second to rope Min along? This would just contribute to their initially vitriolic interaction, which the Call Bell picks up on, assuming they’re worst enemies. Worst enemies… That sounds like another interesting prompt, although one might argue that Min and Ryan ALSO serve that as well!

           This season could be about best friends, probably boyfriends, finding themselves going in different directions as they grow up, and coping with that… Likewise, I have to wonder if the Infinity Train meant to pick up only Ryan, and Min tagging along made things weird. Are their numbers synced because they went on at the same time, and is it related to Ryan’s issues specifically? Or is it both of them; Did the Train mean to pick up both, or adapt? Either way I’m glad the show is exploring these kinds of questions more…

           For example, does their synced number represent their shared relationship problem together? Can Ryan go up, while Min goes down, and vice-versa? Are they both handling two halves of the same problem, or are their numbers completely synced, keeping track of not so much an individual, as the specific relationship; With the number being a record of their relationship’s development, not so much the individuals? That’d be fascinating, with Min and Ryan HAVING to stick together to get their shared number down together… Was this intentional, planned out by the Infinity Train as One One is expanding things, and/or the result of adapting to a fluke? Were both hands overlaid one another as the number was written? Similarly, perhaps each number is separate and tied to the individual, but they both share a problem; So Min and Ryan can make different amounts of progress, or even find separate solutions entirely?

           Likewise, Min and Ryan are wearing the same kind of outfits as Amelia and Hazel. Are they being called on as technicians to help with the Infinity Train, or more likely… Is this part of One One’s changes to the train to make it more interactive and user-friendly, by designating them possibly giving them proper supplies to start off with and survive, after the mess that was the Apex and ITS valid concerns brought up? We see a fully-repaired Steward (or another one, there might be more) showing up, so perhaps Min and Ryan get into trouble with the Infinity Train’s mechanisms that involves Amelia and Hazel; OR, One One is just checking up on them as a more responsive and attentive conductor!

           Dunno Call Bell’s name, but it seems like she’s acting as a neutral, intermediary party, an outside opinion of sorts to give feedback on how Min and Ryan’s relationship is going. With how dark this show can be, a part of me is afraid that Min and Ryan may end up splitting off at the end, even if it is on healthy terms… But as long as it’s handled maturely, I guess I can’t complain. I’m wondering if Samantha and Randall will also make their obligatory appearances, and I’m REALLY hoping for Amelia and Hazel; Perhaps Min and Ryan will stumble into a malfunctioning car? And Amelia and Hazel will meet them there? Regardless, I’m glad to see this show go into more experimental venues and prompts, ideas that discuss and explore the world and its mechanics; And if we want to see the show keep doing this, and eventually give its resolution to Amelia and Hazel…

           WE BETTER WATCH IT Y’ALL! A BUNCH! AND ROPE EVERYONE ELSE INTO WATCHING IT TOO!!! If you’re reading this and haven’t watched Infinity Train, DO IT!

[dropofgoldensun]

omg hiiiii i am here from cat (@luvdsc) wondering if you could offer any advice about college apps 🙏 especially about the uc piqs? thank you so much i hope ur doing well!!!!!!!!

yes yes hello friend !! 💝 miss cat directed you to me because i did my college apps last year !!! (yikes one year passed already?? why does that feel ages ago 🤧)

first of all, congratulations on making the decision to apply to college !! i know it’s been hard for a lot of people our age to figure out the college situation recently, so i’m proud of you for choosing to take the extra step this summer to buckle up and write those essays 💞

i’ve compiled a few tips on answering the PIQs (i was actually in the middle of typing this up when i received your ask haha), but some of them can be applied to other essays, as well !! they’re all under the cut (because, unfortunately, being brief is not my forte) 😊

(and for reference, the prompts i chose were #2 (creativity), #6 (subject), #7 (community), and #8 (anything) !!)

tip #1: understand the prompt.

before you even begin writing, it’s important to understand what the question is really asking. for the UC PIQs, this will look different depending on which four prompts you decide to do.

in question one, for example, they want to know about your skills in leading others, but notice that they’re also curious about your resolution abilities and teamwork experience. or in question two, they don’t want to know that you paint and that you love painting—they could be asking how resourceful you are, how you think outside the box when you have an idea.

once you know the question you’re going to be answering, you can move on to brainstorming!

tip #2: write down three (3) key takeaways.

these are like the most basic, not-even-a-sentence answers you would give to each question. so for me, in response to question eight (“what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for the UCs?”), my answers were perseverance, courage, and character. i had a story about that, so i wrote about my experience with martial arts.

i recommend you do something similar. decide on three things that you want to communicate to your audience, and write them in the footnote of your document. your goal is to cover all three points so that, if anyone were to read your essay, they would walk away understanding those three things about you.

i found this strategy really helpful for keeping my essay streamlined while writing—if a sentence didn’t relate to any of those main points, i would cut it since those words would take up valuable space in the word count. stay focused on what needs to be in this essay, and if you have extra words left in the word count later, you can add those details back in.

and once you’re done with your essay, make sure to refer back to your takeaways and check that you covered all of them sufficiently!

tip #3: highlight your stories.

i sent cat an ask a couple days ago with a few pictures of my response to an end-of-year college counseling survey that referenced this tip (you can find it here). basically i said that, when choosing what topics to write about, pick things that interest you! if you get excited talking about it, your audience should get excited about reading it, because they’ll pick up on the passions you have and then everyone’s excited !!! :D

i’ll tell you a secret: everyone you meet, everyone you see, has countless unique experiences that few others may have. me? i spend hours making mashups out of kpop songs. i earned my black belt years after a traumatizing experience during training. i get russian harry potter and spanish dr. seuss books from the library. and i created a collaborative online google photos album for my classmates that now has thousands of entries. although these aren’t necessarily unique to only me, they’re still special enough to the point where, when you put them all together, you get a better image of the person i am, and what i value.

so find a story, a habit, a hobby that makes you different, because i believe that everyone has them. give them some food for thought, or that one-liner that sticks in their brain and won’t go away. and remember: these stories don’t all have to be extraordinary—they should be about people or moments of special value to you, because that’s what matters.

personal tip: when i was brainstorming ideas, i decided that the best way to get ideas out there was to go on a rant (because sometimes it helps to just have a conversation with yourself !!) and i recorded myself, so i could replay what i said !! this was so so crucial to me finding my own voice for writing essays. notice the way you word things when you talk—a good line or two may make it into the final draft :)

i found it helpful to read sample essays as well! they give a lot of great ideas on the kinds of topics people write about. (also, it’s kind of fun, because who doesn’t love a good story?)

but the people reading your essay won’t be there to just enjoy your story; what they really want you to do is to tell them what you learned from your experience. they want to know whether you’re teachable and willing to grow both as a student and as a young adult. so make sure to take note of the life lessons you learned, experience you gained, character you built, etc.

minor tip on ending your essay: if you’re telling a story that happened in the past, then close with what you learned and how you can apply that to your life moving forward. if you’re telling a story that has no definite end yet (like a passion or dream you have), you probably don’t have everything figured out (and you can say that in your essay!), so it might be better to close with your hopes for the future.

tip #4: ask your family for help.

peer-editing is one of the most effective ways to detect errors and inconsistencies in your writing, because, after staring at your essay for so long, you might gloss over glaring contradictions. for all of my essays, i printed them out and asked my parents to help me revise them. we’d meet every other night (or every night, depending on how much time was left) to review and discuss improvements.

i actually kept some of those printed drafts (only the first and the final ones for comparison), and let me tell you from experience—you’re probably going to have a lot of drafts (i think the most i did was seven? but you don’t need to go that far!). this part of the process does take some time, so remember to be patient and kind to yourself :) these essays won’t happen overnight!

enlisting the help of others also helps keep you accountable. one of the struggles many seniors face while writing essays is just... setting aside time to do them. and even though the constant reminders from your parents will definitely get repetitive and a bit stress-inducing, i can tell you from personal experience that i’m so glad they did; otherwise, i don’t think i’d have my essays done in time :’)

while writing college essays is challenging, your family will be there supporting you each step of the way. chances are that they’ll have their own pointers to pass on to you, since they probably remember doing this process themselves! and, out of everyone in your life, they probably remember the most about you (because you probably don’t remember much when you were four or five), so they might have a couple starter ideas for topics when brainstorming. you can rely on them for their advice and their experience.

tip #5: self-editing.

here’s the part that takes the longest time.

use action words. this is probably something you’ve heard all throughout elementary school where they didn’t like you to say “said” because it was “boring”… but honestly, the difference between “doing my own version” and “infusing it with my personality” could go a long way. also, use words that you would actually use in an essay—then it’ll have your own special flair, and not sound like it’s taken from some stuffy 80s textbook!

here are some of the words i used (once again, you shouldn’t use these words if they don’t sound like something you’d write/say): potential, overlay, wrestle, launch, analogous, weave, infuse, experiment, outlet, revel, fascinate, satisfaction, pursue, expand, distinction, capture, range, archive, engage, beyond, build, adversity, cultivate, preserve, commit, explore, convey, naturally

also, be on the lookout for repeated words. i once wrote an essay without noticing that i used “hope” three times in the same paragraph. don’t do that! use synonyms :) personally, i tended to run short on synonyms, so i always kept a tab or two open on my computer reserved for searching up new words.

side note: unfortunately, during my search for synonyms, i discovered that thesaurus.com just didn’t give me what i was looking for. i highly recommend using wordhippo instead; it has so many more options and they’re grouped by the different definitions of your word! i found the synonyms i needed really quickly and it was very satisfying!

avoid the passive voice! my teacher gave me this tip for theses or any other college-level writing. here’s an example of the passive voice: “there was a large part of me that wanted to turn back.” that’s twelve words taking up precious space in your word count! instead, say something like, “i considered turning back.” you’ve just freed up eight words :)

tip #6: final revisions.

this is the step where you fine-tune your essays. meet that word count.

read your writing out loud. does it sound like you? it should. every writer has a different voice, and you need to ensure that yours is pervasive throughout your essay. feel free to use contractions—not only do they reduce your word count (this was a good thing for me, since i had a problem with getting under 350 words), but they also give a more casual tone to your essay, as if you’re telling a story to someone in the room.

next, pretend to be an admissions officer and have someone else read your essay to you. do you get excited hearing about this student who shares your name? if you do, there’s a good chance the real admissions officers will love your essays, too. this also gives you a chance to review to your essay as a whole. pay attention to the overall flow. is there a clear beginning and end? do you resolve the issues and overcome the trials you brought up? listen to it as if it’s a story, and take this time to enjoy what you’ve written. you worked hard!

final thoughts / encouragements.

oh my goodness, did we make it to the end? honestly if you did, thank you so much 🥺

okay but despite my relatively optimistic tone throughout this post, i’m still going to be honest with you—the college essay writing process is difficult. it requires you to look inside yourself and analyze the “why” behind some of the things that you love, and that isn’t easy to do at all. it’s intellectually and emotionally challenging, because not only do you need to use so much energy writing, but you also have to dig deeper to understand yourself, and that’s not easy, either.

but i wanted to encourage you, too. no matter what you may think of yourself at 12am, 2am, 4am writing these essays, believe you have a personality that others love and will love when they meet you. you are an interesting person with unique experiences who deserves to share your thoughts with others. you have so many people behind you, supporting you during these next few months. and when you find that you can’t write any more, remember to take time to care for yourself. have a warm shower. go to bed early. i could go on and on about why sleep is good for your brain but i’ll spare you the details in this post 😉

one last thing: keep the bigger picture in focus. remember, by december or january, you will be finished with most of the application process. that’s no small accomplishment. you can do it. 💝

i really hope you found tips that you were looking for, and that they’re applicable to your own PIQs and other essays !! if you have any other questions, feel free to send in another ask (i promise my response won’t be this lengthy LOL) 💘💓

oh, and if you feel comfortable enough reaching out about anything in particular, i’m only a DM away 💕 i wish you the best of luck on writing your essays and i hope you enjoy your final year of high school !! 💗🌸💟💖

[kerwritesthings]

Subway Surfing

Summary: When a literal run in changes the course of a day, let alone of a life…

Word Count: little bit over 2.2k

Warning: adorable, fluff and funny

Author Notes: A bit of a birthday surprise for @fallinallincurls​ - Happy, happy birthday Bre! Big birthday deserves nothing more than the start of a new verse for the hockey boy I forced at you last year. Umm sorry not sorry.

Things have been a lot of not ok around here for a good clip, I’ve been really not ok. It’s been hard. Writing hasn’t come, life has just kept throwing me down and down. Trying to fight the way back up, not easy but I’m trying. This was a nice way to try to get back some of that light. I had been poking at this for a beat, the idea gnawing at me with some pieces written, notes scribbled around, but birthday sparkle helped get it over the finish line. Part two already has some bones, as does part three - but please to bear with me if you will.

You hate that it’s a Saturday and you’re trekking your way into the office. It’s finally truly fall in the city and it’s a gorgeous day. The last thing you want is to be stuck at your desk behind a computer screen. You want a hot spiked apple cider, a book, a good playlist and your plaid blanket on the grass in Central Park.

It looks like the rest of the city is awake early on this day for the same reason. The subway, which normally is slightly more bearable at this time on a weekend, is the furthest thing from that. It’s packed with people including the grimy, sweat-ladened guy in the chopped-up joggers and crocs who keeps trying to “accidentally” bump and grab you every chance he gets.

The next stop, you try to move but too many people are coming on and off as the doors only quickly open and shut. You just end up jostling as the car jolts in its start. You can’t fall forward. It would land you right into the situation you’re trying to flee. Instead, you try to lean back but you slip. Fully prepared to wipe out, a hand comes gently to steady your elbow while another holds you at your shoulder.

You hear a mish mosh of “careful there” and “are you ok” crossing together as you get back steady on your feet.

“Thanks for saving me for either face planting or landing in that sweaty creep’s grasp,” you say, sliding your bag back securely on your shoulder before turning.

You know those faces. You’ve seen them on billboards and most definitely on TV. Shit, shit and shit. Of course, the two star, absolutely adorable bestie forwards from the New York Islanders have come to your rescue. This would be your luck. At least you pulled yourself somewhat together for this Saturday jaunt to the office. You keep a straight face, smiling normally and not letting anything on.

“Couldn’t let you risk that. He’s been a bit of an ass since he got into the car. We said if he were still acting a fool at next stop, we would jump in. Plotted a rescue mission and everything,” the one explains, hand running through his hair.

“His mission was to cross his arms and give him the eye,” the other mocks, shoving at his friend’s shoulder. “I mean I guess he can look threatening, like a puppy maybe.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. These two are exactly as they’ve seemed in interviews. Mathew and Anthony really are as thick as thieves.

“That sarcastic asshole is Anthony and I’m Mat. We’ll stay close until he leaves, or you need to,” he remarks.

“You don’t have to do that. It’s the subway. That happening unfortunately is just another day that ends in y, you know?” you explain. “I also don’t want to take up more of your time or ruin any of your plans.”

“You deal with that? Often?” Anthony asks, eyes a little wide.

“Welcome to New York,” you shrug. “Not every day thankfully. But it’s often enough.”

“I hope you know, that wasn’t, and we weren’t...” Mat tries to stumble through.

“No, no, no. Totally. I didn’t get that whatsoever,” you respond. “Not that from either of you guys. Promise. It’s sweet to know there are still gentlemen out in this world.”

They both get a little bashful smile across their pretty faces.

“Glad to help,” they practically say in unison which causes you to bark out a laugh.

Time to shoot your shot, you think to yourself. Worse case, it’s a moment you get to have for a fun bar story.

“I think we need to become friends, boys,” you start. “Or at the very least, I owe you a drink for saving me.”

“Yes,” Anthony jumps in, nodding his head with a wide grin. “You should come to brunch with us.”

“If I didn’t have to get to the office I would,” you reply. “Unfortunately, it’s stuff I need done before a Monday morning meeting.”

“Office work on a Saturday? That’s no fun. Play hooky! We can promise a bottomless brunch,” he teases.

“Maybe after though?” Mat chimes in with a soft smile. “Get what you need to done, give you something to look forward to after?”

“I don’t want to ruin whatever plans you’ve had for the day,” you begin before the boys both shake their heads.

“It’s just brunch and shopping to try to get this one to up his style game,” Mat chides while Anthony rolls his eyes.

You bite your lip fighting back yet another giggle. These two, at the very least, would truly make some good friends. You dig around in your tote, finally snatching your card holder.

“Not sure how long I’ll be stuck. I’m hoping only a couple hours. But. If you’re serious. Text or call me,” you say, handing one off to each of them.

They both nod, each pocketing your card as the subway comes to a halt.

“Oh shit, this stop is mine. Thanks again for the soft hands and clutch assist guys,” you wink, dashing away quickly before the doors close.

“What is my life,” you mutter, the boys waiving as the train pulls away. “I need to get to the office.”

“Ok, I think that’s the first time we’ve ever had someone realize who we are in public, without a whole big scene or making a blatant ass grab type pass. We’re keeping her. Plus, you like her,” Anthony teases, shoving at Mat’s shoulder as they hit the sidewalk coming up from the subway.

“I could say the same thing to you Tito,” he snarks back, shoving in return. “You were batting the eyes. I’m not blind.”

“She seems cool and yeah she’s pretty, but I’m not jaw drop like you were when you saw her,” he chirps back. “I was trying to get a rise out of you dude. And it worked, you actually stepped up the game. And now you have her info. Don’t make me text her too. Cause I will.”

You’re just about to settle into your email with a cup of what your office likes to consider coffee when your phone starts buzzing about in quick succession.

“Looks like this is a thing,” you mumble to yourself, lips quirking up into a half smile as you formulate a reply.

“You knew?” Anthony grins over his beer. “From the start?”

You nod, sipping at your cider. You pushed through your work to be able to meet the two downtown at this tiny spot in NoLiTa that was tucked away from the crazy of the neighborhoods it was snug between. It wasn’t as sleek as you thought they’d choose; it was something much more comfortable and lower key.

“Really?” Mat questions.

“Yep. One of you not with the other? I would have had to do double take. I would have noticed, but probably would have questioned. However, the two peas in a pod together? That was a no brainer,” you explain, fighting back a bit of a giggle.

“You didn’t say anything,” Mat replies.

“How many times does that happen and it turn into a thing or a bit of a scene?” you circle the bottom of the cider bottle around on the tabletop. “There was also no point to, either. You were just trying to enjoy the day and you were being super kind keeping me from wiping out. I get it’s New York, so it’s a less likely thing but it still happens.  So, if I could keep it from another one of those moments...”

“Told you Barzy, we’re keeping her,” Anthony taps his beer against yours. “Welcome to the crazy, Evangeline.”

You can’t help but tinge a little pink.

“Well then. If that’s the case, my friends call me Evie,” you smile.

“Evie,” Mat lets the name roll around his tongue.

A couple rounds later, of both beers and darts, you realize how tight the two are and more so, how easily you could become entangled in friendship with them. And you do. Texts and memes and random photos fly back and forth, you all hang when all your schedules align. You’re also fostering relationships with each of them separately too; sharing recipes of things you want to try to bake and longing about the places you miss in Quebec with Anthony while Mat was trying to teach you more about basketball (with little luck) and in turn you trying to expand what he calls music and what actually is music. You also share some of your favorite places in the city that the two really didn’t know about. It was easy with them, together and individually but you were getting a bit more of a tug, a bit of a warmer burn with Mat.

A Saturday morning a few weeks after the afternoon drinking funtivities, you wake up to a few texts, photos really, from the group chat with the boys. First is a pair of tickets and passes to their game that night. Second is two jerseys: a blue Barzal and a white Beauvillier. The third, a text from Mat.

Choose carefully…

We’re also not taking no for an answer. You’re coming. Game and drinks after.

“Oh shit,” you exhale, quickly jumping to your closet.

“Beth?” you call out from your room, tossing through your clothes looking for two specific items. “Please tell me you don’t have plans tonight.”

“Hot date with a bottle of pinot noir and trash tv, why?” she pokes her head into your room.

“Good. You do now. You’re coming with me to the Islanders game tonight,” you mutter, flipping through more hangars.

“Wait excuse me?” she flops down, cross-legged on the end of your bed.

“So, I may have left a tiny detail out from when I told you about the two cute guys who saved me on the subway,” you explain.

“Ok and?” Beth prompts you to continue.

“They’re Islanders…” you trail off.

“What?” she screams tossing one of your throw pillows at you.

“I’m trying to not make a big deal, cause you know. But, at the same time, well you know,” you reply, finally finding the long sleeve you wanted to wear as well as one of your hockey jerseys.

“You need to give me more than this, Evie,” Beth pries.

You lean back against your closet door.

“It was Anthony Beauvillier and Mat Barzal,” you say.

Beth screams and throws another pillow at you.

“You just casually didn’t tell me that you met the damn Calder winner and his like bromance bestie,” she laments. “Evie, what the fuck?”

“This is exactly why,” you sigh. “Like it started out as ok I could have a moment, a cool story to tell. But honestly, they’re two really great guys.”

“You’re not telling me something, I can see it in that wistful look,” she pokes. “Oh god you’re sweet on one of them, aren’t you?”

You shake your head at Beth, not acknowledging the question. Shoving her over a little, you fold the jersey on the bed next to her, so the logo was perfectly visible, but no giveaway of the name on the back or numbers on the sleeves.  

Fine if you two summon I guess I must go. I’m bringing Beth, my roommate, so you need to behave. She’s already a pretty big hockey fan so I apologize now in advance for any of her crazy. She’s great but gets excited. Also, easy answer: where’s the Ebs jersey? ;) Or I can always wear this one.

You snap a quick shot of your Dallas Stars jersey.

Mat of course chimes in first.

That’s cold Evie, really cold. And that thing? That’s even worse. Who is on there? Do I wanna know?

Then Anthony.

Non. Non. Non. Why do you even have that jersey!?

“You’ve got that look,” Beth pokes at your thigh. “I’ll leave you be for now. Need to be at the arena what 6? We should leave here at 4:30. Worse case we get there early, we can snag a drink nearby. I don’t trust the train or the subway on a Saturday to be on time. Thanks for bringing me, Roomie. I’m excited and I get to meet these boys of yours.”

I have favorites across the league, you both know I liked the sport well before you two came along. I have the appropriate jerseys for my boys. Well, almost. You guys making me choose is mean af. Rock paper scissors it between you both, whoever wins that’s what I’ll wear.

“Just leave her yours, you know you want to no matter who would win at that little challenge of Evie’s,” Anthony smiles as the text comes through, clapping his friend on the shoulder. “And I know you’d pull shit to do it no matter what. She’s really your girl anyway.”

“What…” Mat starts before Anthony jumps in.

“You know it’s never been like that with her for me, dude. She’s awesome and I’m so glad to have her as a friend,” he replies. “You though? Since moment one, she’s been something else for you. You need to make a move. You’ve got game, I’ve seen it.”

“Evie’s. She’s Evie. There’s more there...” he leans back into his locker.

“More reason to then Barzy,” he volleys back. “Come on, get your shit together. We can drop everything to leave for her on the way out.”

[outerbankspreferences]

The Roommate - Austin North

Chapter I  - Introductions

A/N This is kind of a slow start, but the next chapter is them meeting and moving in with each other. I only lightly proof read because it’s late. I hope you guys enjoy!

Word Count: 1743

MASTERLIST SERIES MASTERLIST

It was getting late into filming season one of Outer banks. Drew, Austin and Rudy were talking about moving back to LA together and getting an apartment. Rudy had been living with Chase, until he started dating his co-star Madelyn. The three boys got along great, and everyone had grown so close while filming. They were all talking about taking places in the same complex wanting to be close to each other when the show finally aired.

It was a great plan. All three had looked at different apartment buildings, figuring out how much they could afford between the three of them. Rudy had roommates already back in LA, but they were moving on with their lives and Rudy knew he couldn’t afford to live there by himself. That was when JD had suggested for him to move in with Drew and Austin.

 Everything was going great between the boys until Rudy started hanging out with Elaine more. She was the one of the crew’s photographers, always helping were she could. She got along with incredibly. Both Rudy and Elaine were in the early stages of hanging out when they started filming, knowing each other from previous projects. Rudy thought she was amazing before and jumped on the opportunity to get to know her more.

 There had been a big misunderstanding in the beginning when Rudy saw Elaine and Drew hanging out together all the time, he thought he lost his chance, but when Drew had brought another girl around a couple of times, he was clearly mistaken. Rudy went back to were he started trying to win over Elaine, cracking every joke he could think of and taking her out on cute little dates. It was simple, but enough for both.

 “Do you think they’ll be mad?” Elaine asked the blonde while they laid in the hammock. “I don’t know maybe at first, but their cool, they’ll understand.” The two were talking about getting their own place when the show was over. Elaine had a lot of projects coming up in LA and it just made sense. The two were in love and it was what they wanted. “I just wish I knew someone who wanted to move in with them you know. It would make it so much easier to tell them.” Elaine said flipping through the photos she had taken.

 Rudy was nervous to talk to the other boys. He had made them a promise and even signed a lease saying he would live there with them. He didn’t want to turn his back on his friends, but he wanted pursue things more with Elaine. He walked to Austin’s trailer assuming Drew would be with him. He knocked before walking in, the two other boys sitting around on the couch.

 “Oh, hey man, we wanted to talk to you. Did you want to go back home to see family before we go back to LA. I was thinking it would be easier if we all moved in one at a time.” Austin spoke without looking up from his phone.

 Rudy sighed looking at the two. Austin and Drew could tell there was something on his mind. “About that, I wanted to talk to you guys. I was thinking about getting a place with Elaine when we go back. You know, things are going so well right now, so we want to take things to the next step.” Rudy spoke in one big breath, glad he finally got it off his chest. He was looking at the boys for any signs of anger.

 “Well, you owe me twenty bucks Drew, I told you they were going to move in together.” Austin replied laughing. “okay yeah whatever, here.” Drew said digging into his pocket for a twenty throwing it his friend. Rudy was confused, “wait you guys aren’t mad?” Drew looked at him. “No, we’re not mad, we’re happy for you! But you’re going to have to help find us new roommate that’s going to be as good as you.” He replied laughing.

 “Yeah, okay why don’t you post something on craigslist, and we can meet with them on our break next weekend.” Rudy suggested feeling much better about the situation. “Let me know when you guys want to do things.” He called out while leaving the other two alone. He walked over to the photography trailer to talk to Elaine.

 “Hey babe, are you in here?” He called into the small trailer. It was made into small office for each photographer to work from. “Yeah, I’m back here Rudy.” She hollered out to him. He followed the sound of her voice to her end of the office. She was drinking a coffee, going through the photos she had taken recently. “I really love this on of Madison, she looks so natural.” Elaine handed the photo over to Rudy. “I just talked to the boys.” Rudy stated, “and they’re not mad about anything. They said I had to help them find a roommate. I think we’re going back to LA next weekend to meet with some people.” He said looking through more of her photos. “Oh, Rudy that’s great, see love I told you they wouldn’t be mad at you.” Elaine said rubbing his back slightly.

 Drew and Austin had gotten a lot of messages from people, and they finally narrowed down their list to a couple. They were going to meet at the new apartment over the weekend with Rudy. Madison had helped them come up with some good questions to ask people. It had taken all afternoon and they had finally met everyone they planned to meet. The three were sitting around eating pizza talking about everyone they had just met.

 “I just want someone were not going to be seeing all the time. It would be easier if they worked opposite to us.” Austin mention, him and Drew could put up with each other but didn’t want another person they didn’t know throwing the balance off. “Yeah, and someone with no pets, because I’m not cleaning up after someone else’s animals.” Drew added. “I don’t you guys, I think you might have to expand your horizon a little bit. What about Gavin, he seemed pretty cool.” Rudy tried reasoning with them.

 “No, not him, he smelt funny. You don’t want the house smelling like beef jerky and regret all the time.” Drew commented making the other two nodded their heads.

 “What about Evan, he said he was trying to be an actor too, that might be nice.” Austin spoke up not minding the guy.

 “Yeah, but then he’s going to asking for advice all the time, its hard when they’re first starting out and your established.” Rudy said.

 “Yeah, and he said he doesn’t drink, that’s weird.” Drew added to the other blonde’s statement.

 It was hard picking someone you were going to spend most of your time with. Drew and Austin worked close together, they’re character being friends helped them become friends.  When the weekend was up the three packed their things and headed back Charleston.

 Elaine on the other hand meeting with some friends while Rudy was one. Her friend Oliva had been in Charleston for a couple days working a case. She was a paralegal with a law firm that had a couple practices all over the country. She had been working in Georgia before taking a case in Charleston. The two girls met for coffee too catch. “I can’t believe you dropped out of law school.” Elaine spoke to the girl.

 It had always been her friends dream to become a lawyer, so her not finishing surprised her. Elaine had dropped out of nursing school to pursue her love of photography. He parents weren’t impressed but Oliva stuck by her side the whole time. The two drifted when Oliva went to Harvard and Elaine moved to LA, but they always stay in touch.

 “Yeah, well, I guess I took one for your books Siemek. Plus, I couldn’t stand the rich kids at a Harvard anymore.” Oliva grimaced think about the people she had met. Yes, Harvard was known for having the smartest students, but they were dull. It was so boring. Oliva didn’t live for a great amount of adventure, but she didn’t look for a bland life ether. “Well, what are you going to do after this case is over? Where are they offering for you to go?” Elaine asked taking another sip of her coffee.

 “Crazy story about that one, they want me to start working in LA, they have a firm there. It’s small and handles smaller cases but one of the paralegal’s are going on MAT leave so he asked me to fill in for her. I know the office I helped set it up in the beginning. I just don’t know if it would be a step down or not.” Oliva expressed to her friend. It was a big decision moving all the way to LA, though nothing was keeping her in Charlestown, and she was in a fight with her parents.

 “I think you should go for it! You would love LA, and in couple weeks Rudy and I are moving back out there together so we can hang out. I would love for you to meet all of them, they’re all so nice.” She smiled think about the friends she made over the last couple of months.

 “Yeah, but were would I even live, I was looking at places and it’s all so expensive. I would need a roommate, and nobody wants a roommate the works like 80 hours a week.” Oliva groaned thinking about all hurdles in her way.

 “Well, I actually can help with that. I know a couple of guys who are looking for a roommate and you’re exactly what they need. It would be great!” She explained, telling Oliva all about Drew and Austin. “Just wait until you meet them! I’ll text Rudy and tell him to bring them buy for coffee!” Elaine explained.

 There was nothing wrong with guys for roommates Oliva thought. She just didn’t know if she was ready to let anyone else in her life again. A lot had happened since she stopped talking to Elaine, and she didn’t want someone picking into her private life, but she also needed a job and place. How hard could it be she thought.

[hetacon]

Prom Queen: Chapter 4

First || Previous || Next

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Word Count: 1,800

Pairings: Endgame Prinxiety, Platonic LAMP, more could be included at a later point

Warning: Swearing, small food mention, let me know if there’s anything I missed!

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Summary: “Hey Virgil, tell us about yourself, yeah?” one of the girls asked, the guy she was just talking with fixing his gaze on to Virgil too.

(Make sure to read all the way to the end if you want my thoughts so far! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this story, my art, or writing! Enjoy the chapter!)

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Virgil started to spend more time with the popular kids after they got back to school, something he never thought would be happening. They were gossipy and didn’t really appeal to Virgil as overall people but Roman was their friend so he started to get to know them for the sake of his best friend. He didn’t even really know them honestly, they almost never talked about themselves or their interests or anything in terms of personal information, the conversations almost consistently focused on the drama going around the school that day. There was something new every time they went over. For a solid month, he and Roman would go chat for a minute or two before going off to find Patton and Logan.

That was actually what they were just doing that day when one of Roman’s friends got Virgil’s attention.

“Hey Virgil, tell us about yourself, yeah?” one of the girls asked, the guy she was just talking with fixing his gaze on to Virgil too.

Virgil looked over to Madison if he remembered correctly, trying to hide most of his shock at the fact that she even addressed him. Not many of Roman’s friends acknowledged him much when they would go over but Virgil guessed they’d taken some interest in him. He had been coming over with Roman for quite a good while now, it figures they’d notice his presence at some point. He had to respond quick though, this chance couldn’t go to waste. “Uh, ok, what do you want to know?”

“What kind of music do you listen to?” Well, an odd question to start off with.

Virgil shrugged a bit. “Eh, just what everyone else listens to, you know? Not really anything in particular. It’s not like I really look for songs to listen to by anyone specific.”

Roman nudged him with a snort. “Since when has this ever been the case? If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’re emo through and through,” he said, a certain fondness to his look. Virgil bumped his shoulder with a laugh back, fixing him with a playful glare.

“And what if I can like things that you don’t expect of me, huh?” Virgil asked with a slight tease. Roman simply raised an eyebrow but shrugged, letting the argument go without much more of a struggle. Roman wasn’t wrong though, he still listened to everything that he had before, none of it had changed despite what he said. Definitely none of what people usually listened to. He was never one to follow trends with music or otherwise and Roman unfortunately knew that.

“Do you do anything interesting?” one of the people joining the conversation asked.

“Things here and there, not exactly much. School is a drag, takes up way too much of my time to actually let me focus on anything even remotely interesting,” Virgil said calmly, trying to look casual. He hoped it was working, he felt like a nervous wreck. With a few laughs and a “Fuck yeah it is!” he mustered up the courage to add in, “I draw if that counts for anything.”

“Oh yeah? Mind if we take a look?”

Virgil nodded and rummaged through his bag, finding a leather bound book. This one happened to be his more serious one, he had another that was far more personal stashed away. Only Roman, Patton, and Logan ever saw that one, and not even in its full entirety. The personal one had gotten a lot more use than the one currently in his hands. Virgil slid the book over the table and he watched as it was opened to a page of really messy scribbles in the shape of a distraught person’s face. He’d remembered drawing that one, he was in the middle of history sophomore year having a panic attack but was too nervous to ask to step outside.

“Woah, this is cool man,” Tyler said as he looked over it, others nodding in agreement. They proceeded to flip through the pages for a bit while they took turns asking him more questions.

With so much talk, Virgil noticed Roman jump up suddenly, tugging at Virgil’s sleeve frantically. “Pat and Specs!” he explained before packing up his things frantically. “So sorry guys, I need to talk to them before we have to go to class! I’ll catch up with you tomorrow!” he shouted out as he started speed walking, Virgil in tow. Virgil barely managed to collect up his stuff before he was at Roman’s side, seeing the slightest crease between Roman’s eyebrows. As relieved as Virgil was to be away from all of the questions and potential judgement, he noticed Roman was in a big rush. He couldn’t really place why.

“Hey, you uh.. You ok? What’s up?” Virgil asked, relieved as Roman slowed down a little as they turned a corner.

“I just want to get to Pat and Specs, they’re our friends you know?” Roman asked with a bit of an edge before sighing. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect you to uh.. Hit it off so much with them, I usually just say a quick hello really,” he explained.

“Really? You think so?” Virgil really hoped he was impressing the popular kids, they were Roman’s friends after all. If he was having luck with them, he wasn’t going to lose Roman that easily. He couldn’t possibly do that, not when he’d already put so much at risk.

“Yeah but anyone who doesn’t like you how you are is insane,” Roman said lowly. Virgil thought he saw Roman’s jaw clench for a second but he quickly looked ahead of them as Roman glanced over.

Virgil was tackled in a hug by Patton, causing him to smile as he hugged back. He didn’t smile for long though as the bell rang, causing Roman to sigh. He looked over, laughing a little awkwardly. “Ha, sorry Ro, didn’t mean to make us so late.”

Roman shrugged. “It’s ok, just means we’ll have to get here as soon as possible tomorrow!” With that, he and Logan started to talk as they headed to class together.

Virgil watched as Roman walked away from him and Patton and he frowned slightly before Patton was nudging his shoulder and nodding his head to the direction of their classes.

Virgil nodded back and started walking, burying his hands deep into his pockets. He really wished he had his usual hoodie to pull over his head and hide from the world. His bangs would have to do, giving him a good look at the sickeningly sweet pink he’d decided on a month prior. Who let him do that again?

“Hey, you ok?” Patton asked, silently offering Virgil a cookie. Snickerdoodle today, Virgil would’ve usually loved it.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Virgil told him. “I’m not hungry, thanks though.”

Patton looked at him with a worried look for a second before sighing, taking a bite of the cookie himself. “Alright Virge, if you say so. Who knows, maybe some rest is all you need, make sure you go easy on yourself!”

Virgil agreed, looking ahead of them.

He went home that day and went through the motions in a haze, glad when he finally got out of his disgustingly bright outfit. He stared blankly at the wall when he got a text from Roman.

“Hey, sorry I was so tense where we left things off.. I promise you didn’t do anything, that was all me.”

“What was up with that?” Virgil texted back.

Roman’s response took a minute before it popped up on Virgil’s screen. “I don’t know, I just didn’t expect them to really take such an interest in you. They can be a bit... Stuffy. Like, all the time, I much prefer hanging out with you, Pat, and Specs.”

“I mean, they’re your friends right? They asked me questions, I answered.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Some of your answers surprised me though lol, you are truly a dark and stormy knight after all!”

“Hey, I’m allowed to expand my tastes, aren’t I? You got me into some of your dumb musicals after all.”

“They are not dumb, take that back you jerk!”

Virgil snorted, hugging his pillow to his chest as he typed out another message. “Oh yeah? Make me, you pompous thespian drama queen.”

“I just might!”

Before Virgil could respond, Roman shot him a quick text reading “Shit, GTG, I need to run a few scenes before I sleep! Until tomorrow~!”

“Go chase your dreams of ‘professional make believe’ as Logan would say, night.”

As an afterthought, Virgil tacked on a red heart before blushing harshly, cursing into his hands. He really did that, no taking that one back now was there?

Either way, check in time. Roman was still his friend, they just had a normal conversation like two human beings ought to be able to have. While he seemed a little off-put by some of the changes Virgil was talking about, he didn’t seem to take it as a serious offense so a plus there. The clothes were horrible, Virgil still hated his hair, but he was doing this for Roman so he’d suck it up. Roman’s friends were starting to like him, they liked his art so that was good. Luckily they latched on to something he couldn’t lie about.

Just as Virgil was about to go to bed, another notification popped up on his phone, this time from an unknown number. Virgil stared at it for moment, his brow furrowed. He opened it though and read it.

“Hey Virgil, this is Madison! Got ur number from Roman’s phone lol, hope u don’t mind sweetie!”

Well, he kind of did mind but putting that aside-

“Hi, did you need anything?”

“Not rn but I might! Just wanted to have ur number just in case. Anyways, I’m going to bed, see u tomorrow!”

Virgil nodded to himself before he got one more text.

“BTW loveeeee ur artwork, keep up the good work bby!”

This was certainly... Bizarre. He didn’t expect to ever have the number of a popular girl in his phone but he never knew high school would be this insane. He’d survive this though, for Roman if nothing else. And if not, he just might lose Roman forever and never be able to forget about it for as long as he lives! Ok, breathe Virgil, breathe...

Things would work out, Virgil was going to make sure they did or die trying. Nobody, Roman included, could think to stop him now.

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More Prom Queen content huh? Anyways hey hey hey guys! How’d you like the newest chapter?

To be honest, I’m not sure how to feel about this one. I feel like all of my writings sound like they’re in an echo chamber. Like as if the events are completely isolated and don’t fit into an expansive narrative and existence. I have no idea if that makes a bit of sense, it might just be my depression tbh? It’s been kicking my butt more than usual.

But Virgil is finally getting noticed by the popular kids, woohoo! This obviously can’t go wrong! We shall see what Virgil will be getting up to with time!

As always, feel free to leave comments or send me asks and whatnot if you want to talk with me about the story! I’d love to hear from you guys!

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Taglist: @artissijules, @virgils-paranoia, @its-the-cat-queen, @myyoutubecorner, @marshmallow-the-panda, @anotheregofanficblog, @tssidesfamily, @shapa-likes-art, @isabelle-stars, @falsemood, @katlikethesword

[moral-turpitudes]

Mending Hearts:

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Blood, Mentions/Descriptions of War and PTSD, Lil bit of Fluff and stuff.

Word Count: 3,296

Characters: Arthur Shelby x Reader

+ Ada, John, Finn, and Polly.

Request: (I got this super detailed request on my Wattpad: @jetblackheartsx but I loved it so much I wanted to post it on here :) For the sake of this one, it’s taking place around the first season-ish where Billy Kimber has become the Peaky Blinders’ current headache.

Paraphrased: “...Reader is new to Small Heath and makes friends with Ada. One day she invites reader to come to one of her brothers mansions. As they drive out there she tells reader about her family, and upon arrival they find blood and two men around the corner. They check to see if they’re alive and Ada calls an ambulance while reader figures out how to save them. After she manages to save them, the ambulance crew arrives and takes them to the hospital and the reader brings Ada home. The next day Ada and Arthur come to thank her and bring her flowers. Then Arthur asks the reader if she’d like to come for dinner one night to meet the rest of the Shelby family. Reader blushes and agrees to meet them after a couple days in order for them to recuperate. When there, she meets Finn who is sweet and charming, and then she’s led to the drawing room of the mansion where she meets Polly and John. And as typical Shelby’s they are a bit flirtatious and so as she sits down with them she wonders what on earth the future could hold.” 

Requested by: Wattpad Reader

Y/n walked out of her apartment ready to meet her new friend Ada and her family. She had just moved to Small Heath a week prior and it wasn’t long before she’d gotten herself in a rut. She had just been rejected from a seamstress job, roaming the dark colored town and heading towards the Garrison to drink away her current feelings. When she arrived, she saw a brunette standing at the bar with a disgruntled look on her face. She smiled and walked towards her, not paying any mind to the ogling stares from the groups of men drunkenly hanging around during the day.

“What will you have miss?” The bartender asked.

“Oh, just a bottle of whiskey....thank you.” She said as he handed her a shot glass and a bottle. She slipped him the cash and he smiled as he went to tend to the other customers.

“You don’t sound like you’re from here...what’s your name?” Ada asked, staring at her glass of wine as Y/n took a seat.

“Y/n...and you’re right...I’m not from here. Just moved from London.” She said.

“Well...welcome to Small Heath then, Y/n. I’m Ada...Ada Shelby.” She said hesitantly.

“What brings you here?” She asked.

“Planning to drink away my sadness for the night, it’s lonely here. Job rejections and such...” Y/n said before taking a shot.

“I see...well I may be able to help you out with that if you’d like. I have some pull in this town.” Ada said winking.

“Really? You’d help me out? You barely know me.” She said taking another shot.

“I know...I just want to help for a change. You seem nice so I’m willing to take the chance. And....let’s just say my family is always looking for ways to expand their business. What do you do exactly?” She asked.

“Well I was a nurse back in London for a couple years, but then I got sent out to help in the war, stitching soldiers, mending wounds, repairing uniforms, things like that.” She said nonchalantly. She never opened up much about her experience, seeing wounded soldiers everyday, but she managed to integrate back into civilian life just fine, but it was the nights when she’d sit at home alone that worried her the most.

“Oh really? All of my brothers except for my youngest got sent to France...I’m glad they and you got back. It’s changed them though...” She said sipping her wine.

“War does that, yeah.” Y/n said looking down at her third shot. Remembering all the men she saw and helped mend.

“Are you wanting to drink that whole thing?” Ada asked smirking.

“Only if you‘d want to help me.” She said, pushing the bottle towards Ada.

They continued on like that for the day, becoming best friends by the end of the night.

“You...you’d like my brothers. Maybe I’ll let you meet them tomorrow?” She asked, slurring her words a bit. Y/n could see the poor woman was desperate for some kind of human interaction that wasn’t with her family, so she smiled, agreeing to meet them and looking forward to hanging out with her again.

“I’ll pick you up at noon tomorrow. What’s your address?” Ada asked.

Y/n wrote it down quickly, hoping it was legible in her current state.

“I’ll have my driver take you back, here come with me.” She said taking her arm as they both hobbled out. She paid no mind to the men whistling at them as they walked to the car.

Once in, Y/n looked around hazily and drunkenly talked with Ada as they both watched the dreary night blow by them as the driver made his way to her apartment, Ada only slightly more sober than her, helping her to her door.

“Noon tomorrow alright? Thanks for keeping me company tonight. You’re a good friend Y/n.” She said before giving Y/n a hug. Y/n smiled and waved her off, quickly going inside and heading for her scarcely furnished bedroom.

During the war she learned to live with next to nothing, as she constantly had to share stuff with her nurse mates and only had a few clothing items She could bring. Necessities were pretty much it for her, keeping her style in both clothing and furnishings to a minimum.

The next day, Y/n awoke with an all-too-familiar headache and so she took a quick shower and put on a white dress-shirt and beige skirt. Tying her hair up into a tight bun with a ribbon and some pins, just as she did years ago. It had to be done so often that she did it out of habit now.

Grabbing her coat, she walked out, seeing Ada parked outside.

“Hey Y/n! Nice to see you! How are you feeling?” She asked, her sunglasses hiding her own tired look.

“Hungover, but I’ve been through worse.” She said smirking. Ada laughed and continued on, driving down the road.

“So tell me about this family of yours? They have a business I may be of use to you said?” Y/n asked.

Ada gulped and smiled, trying to hide the uneasiness in her voice as she spoke.

“Well, they’re pretty well known here as am I. The Shelbys that is....my brothers mainly...are known as the Peaky Blinders...rigging the books, going to horse races, taking bets, smuggling drugs, weapons, the lot...” Ada paused, waiting for y/n’s reaction.

“Oh my...You know I think I’ve heard of them before, they got in quite the scuffle in London about a year ago.” Y/n said.

“Does that scare you? What my family does?” She asked, knowing many of her friends left her due to her status.

“Not really. They sound quite interesting. That or I’m insane...” Y/n said jokingly.

“Well Y/n you might be. But in that case I think you’ll fit right in.” She said.

“I don’t mean to barge in or anything though, to their business that is, I don’t want to seem desperate for a job...” Y/n said, fiddling nervously with her hands as they pulled into her brother Thomas’ driveway.

“They don’t mind. I’ve already talked with them. Tommy needs a new nurse and a seamstress if I’m honest. The bastard gets in dangerous fights and rips holes in almost all his suits at some point. Not to mention, the old nurse almost gave him an overdose of morphine once because she couldn’t see the dosage markers.” She said chuckling.

“Oh my. Well I’d be glad to help, thanks for putting a word in for me.” Y/n said before getting out of Ada’s car.

“No problem.” She said smiling and leading her into Thomas’ estate.

As they walked along the hallway, Y/n saw a trail of blood and Ada gasped.

“Walk to the side of it.” Y/n said sternly, walking down the long hall and towards the kitchen. The blood was fresh and a dark crimson, the light glinting off it as it led down into the cellar.

Groaning was heard from two dark haired men. Ada suddenly screamed and ran away from her to call an ambulance.

“Hello! Yes come to Thomas Shelby’s estate quickly. He’s been hurt again and so has Arthur.” Y/n heard her say urgently from upstairs.

Without thinking, Y/n carefully dodged the blood and ran towards them, seeing the man with blue eyes drifting in and out.

“Hey, stay with me. Focus on my voice. I’m going to put pressure on your abdomen okay?” He nodded and looked at her from bloodied eyes, he’d been beaten and stabbed badly.

“What’s your name aye?” Y/n asked as he winced.

“Thomas...Thomas Shelby.” He said quietly.

“Ada get me a first aid kit! Now!” She yelled from the cellar loudly, causing the other man to cover his ears as he bled from his arm profusely.

Ada came running down, a look of fear and disgust as she got blood on her heels.

“Here, I found some whiskey, a needle and thread, and some pliers. Oh and the former nurses morphine.” She said handing her the box with all of it and the bottle of whiskey.

“Ada I know you don’t want to do this but I’m going to need you to wrap your brothers arm in gauze and squeeze it. Talk to him. Don’t let him fade out.” Y/n ordered. Ada shakily went over to her brother Arthur and did as instructed.

“Oi! Ada who’s that?” He asked, panting as he held his hand over his stomach which was also bleeding.

“Sh-she’s my new friend, the one I told you about. I figured she’d be able to be of some use.” She said sloppily wrapping the gauze and squeezing his arm as he yelled out.

“Thomas? Hey. Hey! No don’t look up look at me.” Y/n said shaking her head a bit as she looked on the syringe and loaded the correct amount of morphine into it, administering it carefully into his arm. She could feel his eyes on her as she poured whiskey in the wound. His eyes opened wide and he bit his lip trying not to scream as she worked.

“A piece of the knife broke off and I have to extract it, bite down on this.” She said, putting his loose tie in his mouth.

She cleaned her hands with whiskey and then carefully extracted the piece of metal from his wound, causing it to bleed more. Then she quickly threaded the needle and put pressure on him to stop the bleeding before stitching him up just as she was instructed in the medical ward.

It seemed as if it took her forever but really it only took her about 10 minutes.

Ada gagged as she held the now saturated gauze, watching Y/n put the final touches on Tommy’s gauze before wiping the blood from his face and putting ointment on the cuts near his eye.

Thomas watched her as she ran towards Arthur who was losing blood more quickly. She didn’t think, just acted, as she undid Arthur’s belt causing Ada to give her a questioning look.

“Tourniquet.” She said sharply before yanking the remainder of it from under him.

“You did great Ada. Put his tie in his mouth now please.“ Y/n said, and Ada did as instructed.

“So I hear your names Arthur. Keep your eyes on me. I’m going to tie this alright? Bite down.” Y/n said as he weakly bit down.

He groaned and she saw tears escape his eyes as he looked at her, frantic and nervous as he was losing blood rapidly.

Y/n averted her gaze and pulled the belt as tight as she could, getting the bleeding under control gradually as she assessed his wounds.

He was stabbed like Tommy but not as deeply and not with a piece of metal embedded in his side, as his arm was what took the brunt of it.

Y/n unwrapped the gauze and flushed both wounds out as he yelled through the tie. Ada walked over to Tommy after she saw Y/n had Arthur under control and asked him about what happened, Y/n listening in as she worked.

“Kimber’s men...they came in here after we got back from the races. It was just me and Arthur here as we were going to go to the shop. They came here to get me Ada. They came here to kill me after what went down.” He said weakly.

“Well they failed miserably.” Ada said half smiling. Tommy took his sisters hand and held it as she watched Y/n work, waiting for the ambulance.

Y/n got the bleeding in his arm to fully stop for now and so she administered another correct dose of morphine and then stitched Arthur’s arm up and wrapped it, doing the same to the wound on his stomach, blushing a bit as his eyes caught hers as she shyly checked him out, his abs prominent as he tensed up from the pain.

As Y/n finished cleaning him up, he looked up at her and smiled weakly.

“Where did you learn all this? You’re a way better nurse than that old hag... isn’t she Tommy?” He said looking over at him. Tommy’s blue eyes darted over to him as he nodded, he itched to get back to business, to hunt down Kimber’s men, but he knew he couldn’t right now, no matter how much he wanted to.

“I uh...was sent off to France during the war. I helped take care of the soldiers.” She said hesitantly, remembering one of the nights when she had to rush into the field and help one of the men near the tunnels. He had the shakes and was doubled over in pain from the heat and an injury he had came into the infirmary for a few days prior.

Her heart raced as she remembered trying to help him out of the tunnel as a bomb went off near one of the trenches they were stumbling towards, killing the other soldiers near them instantly. The dirt, debris, and blood of her fellow nurses and soldiers raining down on her as she hit the ground, her ears ringing for what felt like forever as the man helped her hide despite his shaky and weakened state. He had brought her down near a dirt hole that was much less deep compared to the other trenches, urging her to hide as he looked around for more bombs. She tried her best to help him when he came back, giving him her canteen and helping him cool off as they hid. But he later died in front of her as he succumbed to the shock and from sepsis due to the injury he had gotten.

She sat there with tears in her eyes, snapping back to reality at Arthur’s voice as she remembered hiding with the mans corpse until sunrise.

“Y/n are you alright?” He asked. He must’ve said something before but she hadn’t heard him due to her flashing back to that night.

“Oh! Right, sorry. I just have memories...I’m sure you both know what that’s like...” She said, as he nodded and took her hand. She wiped her tears away as she heard the ambulance blaring in the distance and immediately went to help Tommy and Arthur up and out of the cellar, desperately shoving the memories away to focus.

After they’re swept off to the hospital, Y/n looked as Ada watched them leave, leaving her to clean up the mess scattered through Tommy’s house.

“Here I can help Ada. I’m great with washing blood out of things.” Y/n said smirking.

“You have a morbid sense of humor, truly.” Ada said as they both worked their way down to the cellar, cleaning every inch of the flooring with mops, soap, a pail of water, and some bleach.

When all was done, it was around 5pm, and Y/n could tell Ada was tired. Y/n was used to the stress and violence keeping her going, but Ada on the other hand was worried and exhausted.

“Here I’ll take you home. I’ll drive and then walk home.” She said.

“Oh no I’ll have a driver come pick you up, no friend of mine will be walking alone.” She said.

“Alright, well I’ll still drive you home though, no use tiring yourself more than you already are.” She said patting Ada on the back as she grabbed the keys.

“I guess. Just don’t speed too much.” She said jokingly.

“No promises.” Y/n said and then got in the car, driving off to Ada’s lavish apartment.

By the time they got there, a car was waiting for her and so she said her goodbyes and received a million thanks from Ada, and then tiredly got in the car and headed home, watching the lavish building fade into the night.

The next day she awoke to a loud knock on her door, and so she sprung up and slipped on a robe as her hair fell down around her shoulders. She sighed as she took in her tired appearance, but nevertheless walked to the door.

She was greeted with a tall man hiding behind a bright bouquet of flowers and a smiling Ada.

“Put the flowers down you doofus. She can’t see your face.” She said before forcing him to give Y/n the flowers. Once she placed them inside, she saw it was Arthur.

“Oi, hiya Y/n. We just wanted to say thank you. You uh saved my brother and I‘s lives back there and I wanted to tell you in person.” He said as he looked at his fresh bandage on his arm.

Y/n blushed as she glanced at him and the flowers.

“It was no problem really.” She said looking at him again as she blushed slightly.

“I know you’ve been through a lot, but would you like to come over to meet the rest of the family for dinner in a couple days? They’re keeping Tommy over In the hospital for a day or two so that they can get some things sorted and make sure he doesn’t run out like he did in the past.” He said smirking to Ada who rolled her eyes at the memory.

“Sure! I’d love to meet my new colleagues and....patients...should the need arise.” She said.

“Alright I’ll see you at Thomas’ estate then.”

“Sounds like a plan. Ada will you be there?” Y/n asked.

“Of course! I’ll pick you up at noon.” She said.

“Alright, see you both very soon.” Y/n said before closing the door, blushing like a madwoman as she took in what just happened. She smelled the flowers before bringing them to her table near the window, finally having a bit of color to brighten up the place.

A few days had passed and she got ready in her long green dress, putting her hair up as she looked in the mirror. She added makeup and then heard Ada’s car as if on cue.

She quickly pulled on her coat and dashed out the door, excited to meet the rest of the notorious Shelby family.

Upon entering, Ada introduced Y/n to her youngest brother Finn, who politely greeted her and directed her to the others.

They were all in the drawing room, discussing what happened when Ada and Y/n walked in.

“There she is! The woman of the hour!” Arthur said excitedly, pointing at Y/n, causing her to blush.

Polly and their other brother John came over and hugged her. Polly telling her how grateful they are for Y/n being their new nurse, and John eyeing her up and down and winking as she walked past him, advancing towards Arthur to give him a hug. John frowned, wondering why she’d go for someone that wasn’t him, but he soon sat back down, wiping the expression off his face when Polly came near.

“How are you doing Tommy?” Y/n asked making her way over to him, patting him lightly on the shoulder.

He put his hand over hers and looked up at her smiling slightly.

“I’m doing better. Thanks to you of course.” He said and she smiled.

“Hey I was there too you know!” Ada said slumping down in her seat by John and Polly.

“You did great too, holding my arm and all Ada. But nothing beats a badass military nurse aye?” Arthur asked winking at Y/n as he raised his glass.

“I’ll drink to that.” Y/n said, smiling and raising her glass at him as she took in her new friends and colleagues.

She never thought she’d end up here but she knew it was where she was meant to be. Coming from nothing in London, to finding some semblance of a normal life in Small Heath, eager to leave some parts of the past behind but reluctant to let go of others. She knew that this was better than where she had been before. And that despite her brief flirtatious interactions with the tall, short-haired man, she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe he wanted something more, and that maybe it was fate that she’d moved here after all, but only time can tell.

Tag List:

@flysafepapi, @inglourious-imagines, @peakysabrina, @blinder-secrets, @ta-ka-shi-ma

[9worldstales]

MCU: Is Loki a serial betrayal or not?

So one of the things I see often discussed in the MCU is the long, long history of deceit and betrayal that goes on between Thor and Loki that got mentioned in “Thor – Ragnarok”.

As various MCU movies and comics get mentioned, I made a list of the sources referenced so you’ll know if they might end up spoiling you. Consider yourself warned (or feel free to skip the list if it bores you).

SOURCES MENTIONED:

Movies: “Thor” (2011), “The Avengers” (2012), “Thor – The Dark World” (2013), “Avengers: Age of Ultron” (2015), “Thor – Ragnark” (2017), “The Avengers – Infinity War” (2018), “The Avengers – Endgame” (2019), “WandaVision” (2021)

Comics: “Thor: Son of Asgard” (2004) “Marvel's The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week” (2012)

Direct-to-video animated film: “Thor - Tales of Asgard” (2011)

Motion comics: None mentioned

Books: “Thor: heroes and villains” (2011), “Marvel Studios The first 10 years” (2018)

Novels: “Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: Thor” by Alex Irvine (2015), “Thor: The Dark World Junior Novelization” by Michael Siglain (2013), “Loki – Where mischief lies” by Mackenzi Lee (2019), “The pirate angel, the talking tree and captain rabbit” by Steve Behling (2019)

Webs: None mentioned

Others: Interview “A Talk With THOR: RAGNAROK’s Eric Pearson”, interview “Joss Whedon told Comic-Con the question he doesn’t want us to ask ever again”, Interview “Chris Hemsworth (Thor: The Dark World)”, Interview “Tom Hiddleston Talks the Love-Hate of Loki and ‘Thor’”, Interview “Chris Hemsworth Talks Expanding Beyond Asgard, Interview “Building to THE AVENGERS 2, and More on the Set of THOR: THE DARK WORLD”, Interview “Chris Hemsworth ‘Thor: Ragnarok’, Embracing the Comedy, the Thor/Loki Relationship and More”, Interview “Avengers 4 Endgame: Is Loki ALIVE? Chris Hemsworth gave a massive hint at London fan event”, Interview “Avengers stars reveal one big downside to the job”, “How Taika Waititi Made Thor: Ragnarok So Damn Funny”, Interview “How 'Thor: Ragnarok' Honors & Deviates from Its Comics Foundation”, Interview “Empire Podcast Spoiler Special: Thor: Ragnarok with Taika Waititi”, interview “Kevin Fiege Talks Iron Man 2, The Avengers and More”

So now, let’s start with a quote from Eric Pearson, one of the guys responsible for the script of “Thor - Ragnarok”.

“Thor and Loki have had so many interactions, and alliances, and betrayals. They’ve been each others’ nemesis for so long that even they’re a little exhausted by themselves. It’s almost like the fatigue of dealing with each other allows this terminator like force of Hela to just walk in. They’re divided so she conquers.” [A Talk With THOR: RAGNAROK’s Eric Pearson]

So, since math is an awesome thing and “Marvel Studios The first 10 years” gave us an official timeline let’s do some math.

For start the official timeline.

965: Odin adopts Loki

2011: Thor

2012: The Avengers

2013: Thor: The Dark World

2015: Avengers: Age of Ultron

2017: Thor: Ragnarok, Avengers: Infinity War

2022: Avengers: Endgame (actually not mentioned in the timeline but it takes place 5 years after “Avengers: Infinity War”)

Loki is adopted in 965 so he and Thor are adopted brothers by 1052 years in “Thor - Ragnarok”.

So… “Thor” takes place in 2011 and overall covers three days and, in 2 of them, Thor and Loki are on opposing sides. At the end of “Thor” Loki is believed to be dead.

In 2012 Loki shows up again in “Avengers”. Thor arrives on Earth by night and spend there what, a day? before going back to Asgard with Loki, who then spends a year in jail with Thor never visiting him before he is freed in “Thor: The Dark World”, which takes place in 2013.

It’s worth to mention in “Thor: The Dark World” Thor and Loki are allied against Malekit before Loki is believed dead again and instead rules Asgard up until 2017, when “Thor – Ragnarok” takes place.

Anyway this means that in those 1052 years they spent together Loki and Thor had been on opposing sides for 6 years… during which only 1 year was spent with Thor knowing Loki was alive and only 4 days were spent with them actively fighting each other.

But maybe those days were days of intense betrayal… so let’s sum them up.

For start let’s remember everyone that betrayal is a deliberate break of trust, of faith.

“Thor” is the one which contain most betrayal, even though some things weren’t meant to be as such at the time in which it was filmed but whatever, let’s be strict.

- Loki ruined Thor’s coronation

- Loki had Odin warned they were going to Jotunheim so that Odin came saving their lives

- Loki lied about Odin being dead and Frigga not wanting Thor back.

- After making clear he was Thor’s enemy (I mean he sent the Destroyer to ‘Ensure his brother does not return’, could he have been more explicit?) he tricked him into helping him making him believe he was dangling on the edge of the Bifrost and needed his help.

Okay, that’s a total of 4, one of which done to save everyone’s live (and it saved everyone’s life but, as I said, I’ll be strict and still count 4).

“The Avengers” despite painting Loki as the villain, has no betrayal. Loki doesn’t make any attempt to paint himself as Thor’s friend, he doesn’t even call Thor ‘brother’, he makes clear he wants Earth’s crown and he has made clear in “Thor” he wouldn’t hesitate to kill him. Yes, he lies to him about sending the Tesseract away, uses an illusion to trick Thor into ending up in the cage and drop the cage on the ground and stabs Thor on surprise as they’re fighting. He however never let Thor believe they’re on the same side, I’ll say with dropping the cage he remarked how he wasn’t on Thor’s side since he wondered if the fall could kill Thor. If Thor didn’t want to get the message, this was not Loki betraying him, this was Thor refusing to listen. As for Loki surviving to a fall into the void and not warning Thor about it, that’s not betrayal either. When Loki let himself fall in the void it was a suicide attempt. His survival is a plot hole for whom Whedon didn’t really bother making up an explanation.

“Well, I can’t tell you exactly what went on because it’s this dark, dark secret that I didn’t make up yet. But, the other day, I had trouble with that because he had this very passionate Shakespearean tragedy thing going on in Thor and then I needed a villain who’s not only capable, but ready and willing and anxious to take on all these heroes. For me, he just basically went on some horrible walkabout… That was pretty much as far as I got.” [Joss Whedon told Comic-Con the question he doesn’t want us to ask ever again ]

“Avengers: Infinity War” suggested Thanos resurrected him, how is up to speculation. I wonder if it has to do with the mind stone, which somehow resurrected his mind in a way similar to how Wanda resurrected Vision. But I’m not sure Marvel really tried to figure this out beyond ‘it just happened’. Anyway Loki didn’t plan to fake his death, his survival/resurrection was accidental and he didn’t own to his family to send them a note saying ‘I’m alive’.

So we’ve a total of 0.

“Thor: The Dark World” has merely the fact that Loki again didn’t die when he was supposed to. Mind you, he was supposed to die (or if he were to survive this was meant to be a secret as the movie’s ending was meant to be very different), but then they decided to keep him alive and on the throne of Asgard for “Thor: Ragnarok”. So, he clearly was stabbed and let Thor believe the wound was fatal, then went back to Asgard, took Odin’s place, offered Thor the throne and when the latter refused, took it for himself. We can’t count the fact he told Kurse ‘You might want to take the stairs to the left’ as betrayal because, again, being jailed, he’s clearly not on Thor’s same side nor trusted. Betrayal is a break of trust from someone you believed on your side. An enemy doesn’t betray you, a friend does, and Thor stated he doesn’t view anymore Loki as his brother. We also know the action was a miscalculation on his part, he thought Kurse was merely a Marauder, a pirate, not a Dark Elf part of a Dark Elves’ invasion, and he didn’t think it would end up causing Frigga’s death, just some troubles for his father and brother who cast him in that cell and, according to the novelization, he was meant to end up regretting it short after doing it.

“The east stairs lead to the barraks. You’ll find them mostly unguarded.” Loki said and Kurse nodded, then continued on, glad for the inside information. Loki wanted revenge against Thor and Odin – he just hoped that he wasn’t getting more than he hoped for. [“Thor: The Dark World Junior Novelization”]

More explosions occurred aboveground and Loki glanced upward. “Don’t you think you ought to look into that?” he said. Thor scowled at his brother, then strode off toward the stairs. Loki watched his brother leave, a hint of guilt in his eyes. What had he done? [“Thor: The Dark World Junior Novelization”]

So okay, if we count the fact he let Thor believe him he died, and that he was Odin, we’ve a total of 2.

Which leads us to the amazing number of 6.

Now okay, betraying 1 time is 1 time too much but this is not a pattern that pervaded his whole life, this is 2 days in which Loki was not in his right mind due to pain (“Thor”) and a day in which he wanted to avoid being jailed for life as Thor has promised him he would be once they were to get back (“Thor: The Dark World”).

But, but, but, didn’t Loki betrayed and attempted to murder Thor PRIOR to “Thor”? And why aren’t I considering “Thor: Ragnarok” at all?

I mean, in addition to Loki betraying Thor for money, there’s this bit in “Thor: Ragnarok”:

Banner: Okay, can I just... A quick FYI, I was just talking to him just a couple minutes ago and he was totally ready to kill any of us.

Valkyrie: He did try to kill me.

Thor: Yes, me too. On many, many occasions. There was one time when we were children, he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So, I went to pick up the snake to admire it and he transformed back into himself and he was like, "Yeah, it's me!" And he stabbed me. We were eight at the time. [“Thor – Ragnarok”]

But the problem is to quote Wanda in“WandaVision” when her ‘brother’ talks about their shared childhood, this sort of relationship, well, ‘That’s not exactly how I remember it.’ From the previous movies, interviews, books, novels and extra material, I mean.

But let’s start with order.

So “Thor: Ragnarok”.

Remember Eric Pearson, the guy whose quote I used to start all this?

For start this guy never worked on a script with Thor and Loki previously.

The most he did was to be involved in the “Marvel's The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week” in which Thor and Loki have some cameo appearances.

So let’s hear what he has to say about Thor and Loki’s relation.

“For introductions, working on Thor’s voice was really great just because Hemsworth is great with the script. He actually pulled me aside one morning to talk to me about the Thor and Loki scenes. He pointed out, correctly so, that what I had was retreading a bit of what had already happened in Thor, Thor: The Dark World and The Avengers. We needed to have their relationship exhibit the amount of awareness that it should have after the audience spent so much time with them on screen. So, the Thor and Loki stuff is also some of my favorite.” [A Talk With THOR: RAGNAROK’s Eric Pearson]

So Hemsworth informed his opinion and which opinion has Chris Hemsworth of the whole matter?

Well, his opinion on Thor’s relationship with Loki evolved as time went by… but FIRST let’s focus on how he believed it was their relationship during or prior the “Thor” movie.

“In the very first film Loki and Thor as brothers had a friendship where there was less hatred involved.” [Chris Hemsworth (Thor: The Dark World)]

It’s not terribly explicative but let’s say that they were more or less friends? So his brother wasn’t trying to murder him from childhood? He wasn’t betraying him from childhood?

According to Thom Hiddleston definitely not.

“I think Loki grows up with an older brother who he loves and respects. They play, they banter and they bash each other about, but there is a latent jealousy. Craig Kyle ‐ one of our producers ‐ always used to talk about the analogy of the quarterback and the artist. Thor is the quarterback. He’s a chip off the old block and he’s just like his dad. Loki’s problem is, maybe not his problem, but [that] he’s more drawn to the powers of intellect, magic, and the dark arts. He’s not going to be out in the fields throwing a hammer around. That’s just not where his passion lies. There’s a disconnect with Odin and there’s a disconnect with Thor. He loves them very much, but he’s not just made of the same stalk. In the course of the film there’s a big reveal both for Loki and the audience about the truth of Loki’s true lineage and who his real parents are. I think that begets any jealous that was within him towards Thor develops into a dark, cancerous rage that then becomes a destructive rage.” [“Tom Hiddleston Talks the Love-Hate of Loki and ‘Thor’”]

And the ruining of the coronation? As the movie itself said it was done because he didn’t believe his brother was ready to rule… but let’s also read this bit always from Tom Hiddleston.

“He’s certainly not an anarchist who wants to burn the house down. I think he has an inner conviction. He loves a practical joke, he loves mischief and he loves playing around. He loves starting a bonfire in the next room and hearing people scream, but nobody would be killed.” [“Tom Hiddleston Talks the Love-Hate of Loki and ‘Thor’”]

In short it wasn’t meant to cause any serious harm... same as warning his father was meant to save them. Of the 4 times in “Thor” in which Loki betrays Thor, 2 are not done with evil intentions in mind.

But maybe it’s just Tom Hiddleston?

Nope, we’ve the booklet “Thor: heroes and villains” agree with this.

“Loki is often the voice of reason to Thor’s impulsiveness and is usually relied on to talk his older brother out of sticky situation.” [“Thor: heroes and villains”]

“As Odin’s younger son, Loki has always known the throne of Asgard will never belong to him. He has, however, tried his best to be a good brother to Thor and a son Odin could be proud of.” [“Thor: heroes and villains”]

Then we’ve this in the “Thor” movie:

Sif: He may speak of the good of Asgard, but he's always been jealous of Thor.

Volstagg: We should be grateful to him, he saved our lives.

Hogun: Laufey said there were traitors in the House of Odin. A master of magic could bring three Jotuns into Asgard.

Fandral: Loki's always been one for mischief, but you're talking about something else entirely. [“Thor”]

The group suspects Loki wants to hand Asgard to the Jotuns, but up till the end of the movie Loki will have Asgard’s best interests in mind. His way to pursue them though, by destroying the Jotuns, is beyond ruthless but it’s not traitorous toward Asgard.

Also they’ve nothing against him beyond the fact he was jealous of Thor. They mention no stabbing episode, no murdering attempt no previous betrayal. Loki was jealous and they fear this had caused him to do something extreme. NOW. They’ve nothing they can use against him from the past, their suspects are based on Loki’s jealousy, the fact he’s a wizard and Laufey’s words.

Even the “Thor” novelization, which discusses their relation, doesn’t mention murder attempts prior to the Destroyer thing.

From Thor’s point of view:

“His younger brother has always been something of a mystery to him. While Thor had been eager to spread his wings, fight in battles, and go off on grand adventures, Loki had always been more hesitant. True, he had Thor’s back, but it was often only out of necessity.” [“Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: Thor”]

From Loki’s point of view:

“Why did he always seem to get into trouble because of his older brother? Wasn’t he supposed to be the wiser one? Odin has expressly forbidden that they enter Jotunheim. Yet it wasn’t the first time Thor had done something reckless. And it wouldn’t be the first time Loki was powerless to stop him.” [“Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: Thor”]

Loki had Thor’s back, albeit he wasn’t happy about it, Thor is the one who causes troubles, everyone knows and in the novel Loki is regularly sent by Sif and the Warriors Three to calm Thor down and make him think.

Long story short Thor and Loki seemed to be originally planned to have a relationship similar to the one they had in “Thor - Tales of Asgard” direct-to-video animated superhero film which came out in the same year as “Thor”.

So, why somehow in “Thor: Ragnarok” it morphed into the one they have in the comics “Thor: Son of Asgard” (2004) if not worse?

Well, somehow Hemsworth’s feelings shifted along the way between “Thor: The Dark World” and “Thor: Ragnarok”. He was aware of how Loki and Thor’s relationship was portrayed in the comics and this bits fits with how in “Thor: Ragnarok” he just wants to tell Loki he didn’t care anymore.

I mean I can’t say too much but I think in the comic books, you kind of roll your eyes sometimes at the amount of times that they’re back to being best friends so we wanted to keep in mind that he did just try to kill you for the seventh time, and Earth and millions of people and what have you, so… [Chris Hemsworth Talks Expanding Beyond Asgard, Building to THE AVENGERS 2, and More on the Set of THOR: THE DARK WORLD]

Without giving too much away, I didn't want to repeat that relationship either. And Tom felt the same. All of us were like, ‘What can we do again here?’ There’s a bit of reversal as far as... In the first films, a lot of the time you’re seeing Thor going, 'Come back Loki, and da-da-da-da.' [But now] there’s a feeling from Thor that’s just like, 'You know what, kid? Do what you want. You’re a screw up. So whatever. Do your thing.' [Chris Hemsworth ‘Thor: Ragnarok’, Embracing the Comedy, the Thor/Loki Relationship and More]

"Ahhh, he's like the girlfriend you break up with and they don't get the message. Like, 'You're dead, sorry, it's over,' and they're coming round to hang the new drapes. "The most poignant moments (of Thor's movies) have been with Loki." [Avengers 4 Endgame: Is Loki ALIVE? Chris Hemsworth gave a massive hint at London fan event]

Until we get to “Avengers: Infinity War” in which he makes clear he believes Loki fooled him time and time again so that he doesn’t want him back…

While the cast share an obvious camaraderie, a void remains after Tom Hiddleston’s Loki died in Infinity War. Would Hemsworth bring back his troublesome onscreen brother if he could? “No. Why would I do that?” he answers, blankly. “He fooled me time and time again. But on the personal side, I was with Tom since the beginning of this journey and I learned a lot from him.” Hemsworth pauses. “If you’re asking if Thor would bring him back, I think if he could have done he would have. But for me, I don’t know.” [Avengers stars reveal one big downside to the job]

…even if Thor would have (and of course he would have if we’ve to believe Thor’s tears in “Avengers: Infinity War” and his depression in “Avengers: Endgame” are due to Loki’s death and it’s not merely due to how ‘fun’ it is to have a depressed Thor who ends up neglecting his health by drinking too much and getting fat… because being a source of amusement isn’t really a reason why you should introduce a depressed character in a story).

So yes, maybe Pearson didn’t go to the right source of info for Thor and Loki’s relationship.

However, credits when it’s due, the scene about Loki wanting to kill Thor from childhood is not so much due to Pearson or Hemsworth but due to Waititi.

Hewitt: You know, there’s another moment I love, when they have the little huddle about Loki, and he tells the story about how Loki turned into a snake.

Waititi: Yeah, yeah.

Hewitt: And that felt improv’d.

Waititi: Yeah, there was basically- what we did about six different versions of that story, and that was just us standing around, while the cameras are rolling, while I would just feed them lines, and feed Chris ideas for some stories. I was, “Oh, do one, this one, um, say, “I was walking through a field, and I saw a lovely Turkish rug in the middle of the grass, and I love Turkish rugs, so I went to stand on it, and it was Loki, and he turned back into Loki, and it was a hole, and I fell through the hole, and was impaled in the hole, full of spikes”.”

Hewitt: *laughs*

Waititi: As I did all versions of that and I just kept going with- Yeah, the one with the snake just turned out to be the one we used. [Taika Waititi On Screenwriting: An Empire 30th Anniversary Special]

And so how did Waititi envisioned the Thor-Loki dynamics? This is how Waititi describes Thor’s live:

“To be perfectly honest, he’s a rich kid who lives in a castle in outer space. I don’t know any of those people, but I do know people who come from dysfunctional families. He barely talks to his parents — well, his mom’s dead now — his brother is trying to kill him his entire life, and he’s supposed to be king, and he doesn’t want to be a king. A lot of it is also this father-son relationship stuff of him trying to prove himself, or trying to find his own identity, and I really relate to that. My dad was a very big personality in New Zealand and in our area, and I’ve always been trying to do my own thing to separate from him, while at the same time trying to impress him. Which is the story of pretty much all guys, and probably most girls, who are choosing a parent to impress. That was my way in with him.” [“How Taika Waititi Made Thor: Ragnarok So Damn Funny”]

Why Waititi came up with such an idea for their dynamics is up to everyone’s speculation because in itself it’s not important if he actually got told about it by Hemsworth, Pearson or by Brad Winderbaum, who admitted taking inspiration from the comics for “Thor – Ragnarok”…

“I'll tell you the three things we looked at the most. We're pulling a lot stylistically from Kirby [but] we're also looking at the Walt Simonson Ragnarok arc [and]… God of Thunder, the Jason Aaron book.” [How 'Thor: Ragnarok' Honors & Deviates from Its Comics Foundation]

… if this is the result of that 1 short comic he read…

“That’s a thing about me, guys, I did not do my research.” … “I read one issue of Thor as my research. Not even a graphic novel, it was one of the thin-thin ones.” … “And by the end of it, “Hm, well, we’re not doing that”. [Empire Podcast Spoiler Special: Thor: Ragnarok with Taika Waititi]

Waititi wanted to do his own story, not a continuation of the previous movies.

“I was lucky enough they didn’t force me to acknowledge things- there were certain things in the film, like the play, which makes fun of the scene in The Dark World where Loki dies, but there’s a point to that play, sort of to recap what happened, but also to tell the audience, “This is not what you think it’s going to be, this film is not going to be a continuation of that. It’s its own thing, and what you think you expect from this film ends at this play.”” [Empire Podcast Spoiler Special: Thor: Ragnarok with Taika Waititi]

This is not the point where I discuss what I think of this idea of stepping all over the previous movies to create a ‘new Thor’ that the Russo brothers proceeded to dismantle in the next movie.

In 2010 Feige was already on board with the idea ‘the movie comes first’ and the ‘connective tissue’ is fun and very important if you want it to be.

“It's never been done before and that's kind of the spirit everybody's taking it in. The other filmmakers aren't used to getting actors from other movies that other filmmakers have cast, certain plot lines that are connected or certain locations that are connected but I think for the most part, in fact, entirely everyone was on board for it and thinks that its fun. Primarily because we've always remained consistent saying that the movie that we are making comes first. All of the connective tissue, all of that stuff is fun and is going to be very important if you want it to be. If the fans want to look further and find connections than they're there. There are a few big ones obviously, that hopefully the mainstream audience will able to follow as well. But the most important thing and I think the reason that all the filmmakers are on board is that their movies need to stand on their own. They need to have a fresh vision, a unique tone and the fact that they can interconnect if you want to follow those breadcrumbs is a bonus.” [Kevin Fiege Talks Iron Man 2, The Avengers and More]

“Thor – Ragnarok” merely took it to an extreme, retconning a lot from the original to the point some feel “Thor – Ragnarok” is a parallel universe compared to the previous 4 movies, with its own canon.

So when they needed a joke they didn’t bother checking the previous canon, they just needed a joke and so they added that scene, and it somehow got so popular it got referenced in two novels, sorta, even if in both gets ‘adapted’.

Once he was in the room, the servant girl would likely go unnoticed enough to eavesdrop – certainly less noticed than a snake, which had been his initial plan, and which was easier to imitate than an Asgardian. But snakes tended to gather attention – Thor would pick up any serpent to admire it. [“Loki- Where mischief lies”]

In “Loki – Where mischief lies” by Mackenzi Lee the stabbing isn’t included, the book only keep Thor’s fascination for snakes and his habit to pick them up… but the scene couldn’t have happened when they were children as Loki is a teen in the book and has learnt only recently to use shapeshifting magic.

In “The pirate angel, the talking tree and captain rabbit” by Steve Behling the scene is partially retconned as well.

Where in the movie is played as a clear murder attempt in the book we’ve the same story but in a different contest.

“Hey, what did I tell you about insulting our guest?” Rocket scolded, shaking his head. “If anyone’s gonna do any insulting around here, it’s gonna be me.”

Groot looked at Rocket, and enacted an impressive-albeit obnoxious-imitation of the same sneet that Rocket used on Thor just few second earlier.

“I am-“

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Rocket warned.

“Gr-“

“I mean it! You wanna have tablet privileges revocked for a week, you go right ahead and finish that though.”

If Groot had pockets, he would have showed his limbs stubbornly into them, turned around grumbling, and walked away. As it was, he didn’t, so after a moment’s stare-off with Rocket he simply muttered, “I am Groot,” then ambled away.

“He’s in an awkward phase,” Rocket said to Thor by way of explanation, turning his attention to the master control panel.

“Adolescence is never easy,” Thor said looking over Rocket’s shoulder. “I remember when Loki and I were children. Loki transformed himself into a snake, and because I really, really love snake, I went to pick it up. But the moment I did, the snake transformed back into Loki, and then he stabbed me.”

It was at least ten second before Rocket spoke. And when he finally did, he sighed and said, “Why do I have the feeling you tell this story a lot? Like, A LOT.”

Thor smiled wanly. “Maybe a few times,” he acknowledged.

“I bet this Loki gets a big kick out of it every time you tell it,” Rocket said, chuckling.

The thin smile on Thor’s face quickly fell.

“Not anymore,” were the only words Thor could manage before he turned away. [“The pirate angel, the talking tree and captain rabbit”]

While in “Thor: Ragnarok” this story seems to be a proof Loki is an homicidal maniac because it’s compared to him wanting to kill Banner and Valkyrie and therefore, despite the idea this is a joke, make the whole matter a serious business, here Loki’s actions are compared to the ones of a teenager tree wanting to insult someone else and being told not to. It seems one of those stupid things little kids do in anger, or thinking it’s just a game, without really understanding the consequences they could have (=killing someone). Thor seems to almost brag about it, as if it was a funny childhood tale about the idiotic things they did as kids, not a cautious tale against his brother and the risks of trusting him.

It’s still a story that’s clearly out of character for how Loki was meant to be PRIOR to “Thor”, but at least now it’s better inserted in the contest and can fit vaguely more with the previous canon.

But whatever, that’s it.

So, in a way, we’ve two universes, one is the Pre-Ragnarok one, in which Loki prior to Thor loved his brother and had a good relation with him, and the other is the Ragnarok one, in which Loki wanted him dead from childhood.

Both exist.

It’s something a part of the fandom is well aware of, but also something another part of the fandom is ABSOLUTELY unaware of.

I’m not going to tell you which universe you’ve to favour, if the one in which Loki loved Thor or the one in which he wanted him dead, that’s up to your personal preference.

But if you’re among the many who’re still confused about why the fandom has split opinions about the relationship between the brothers… well, that’s a summary of the history behind it all.

Honestly, with the incoming “Thor – Love and Thunder” and “Loki” series, I’ve no idea what will be the future of it all. Waititi will probably want to go back to his “Thor – Ragnarok” continuity… unless he wants to reinvent Thor all over again so we’ll get another additional universe for Strange to enjoy in his upcoming “Doctor Strange in the multiverse of madness”… in addition to the universes created in “Avengers – Endgame” when the characters changed the past and the ones Loki will be creating in “Loki”.

Sorry, Doctor Strange, I guess you’ll have your hands full.

[wavesmp3]

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much 

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 

this whole part... chills bro 

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 

[petriichvrs]

ONE  YEAR  OF  NOXTMS  /  five  dyanmics  with  two  bonus  !

more thoughts / information under the cut ! 

001.   𝐃𝐔𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘.   ( @ddudleys )

every single day, i think about this pair & just how unexpectedly ... brilliant they are. i hope by now my love of dudley is just very apparent, but if it ISN’T - i love his character so, so much, and i think you’re an incredibly talented person for being able to give him this whole personality and existence beyond the end of the books that fits with his canon so well and still gives him his chance to be a good person. dudley & ginny bonding following the war, attending support group together ... ginny telling him wildly incorrect things about the world for a laugh, the fact they have TOTALLY bonded even more over both being sports people, the moment where they held hands at grimmauld place, everything after ... jesus christ ! i can never ever be eloquent enough to express the way they make me feel, and the way that any new little insight into their dynamic be it by meme or by thread just makes them that bit more real to me, but i’m so grateful for this funky pair, and you better know it ! 

002.   𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘  &  𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘.  ( @dolors  )

tell me a year ago that someday i’d actually care about the malfoy family and i’d have FOUGHT you over it - at no point did i ever expect to pick up narcissa, and after i did, i never expected to get such a complex and amazingly thought out lucius to write opposite of. i still remember the moment where blo and i realised you were going to bring him, and the EXCITEMENT we felt at the fact that this individual i already knew semi okay who was writing such an excellent interpretation on hermione was going to bring us a character who can be so polarising, in a lot of ways. the hope ? the willingness to die for you immediately, simply because you were going to DO it ? cherry i cannot believe there was ever a time where we were not friends in the way we are now, and i REALLY can’t remember an instance where i didn’t have malfam + lucissa to get me through my day. they’re my emotional support morally grey family who think of themselves first & foremost and everyone else after, okay ? lucius is a lot of things, and you do such a good job at writing ( and acknowleding ) them, but inside the walls of malfoy manor he’s narcissa’s honey bunch with an unhealthy emotional attachment for his peacocks & brilliant taste in erotica novels for their next book club session. 

003.   𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐙𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐈  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘.  ( @ofzvbini )​

mozzie, let’s not cut straws on this one : holy fuck. holy JESUS. holy moley. all the holys. here is the thing - my love for blaise zabini as a character / concept and my appreciation for the blaise/ginny dynamic that could exist had NEVER gotten to be mutually exclusive until you came along. never ! it wasn’t something to feel hard done by, or anything, but... i kinda do, now, but for a different reason, which is that you’ve set the bar for characters SO HIGH in general and i’m never ever going to be able to find another interpretation of blaise that even remotely lives up to yours, nor do i think that anyone will ever be on the such a similar wavelength to me, when it comes this connection. the energy all around is just utterly UNMATCHED, and the fact that... even just rereading our replies from the last event to get this excerpt, i realised i wanted so badly to reply again right now immediately, because the sparring of their words and lets be honest, the PALPABLE sexual tension going on in that thread was so genuinely fun and entertaining. i just think you knock it out of the park so consistently with your characters and the connections you write with them. i could have said any of our dynamics - luna + ginny, luna + nazli, luna + narcissa, eulalia + niko, blaise + merry, blaise + narcissa, blaise + niko - YOU GET THE PIC ! i love u moz. please marry me under the moonlight i think it would be very romantic-

004.   𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑  &  𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅.  ( @pclearwaters )

i want in on record that penny clearwater is the love of my life, actually. i want it on fuckin RECORD, because the love i have for this character who gets paid nothing but DIRT in the series all because you took her up & gave her this whole life and character and storyline that made her into... like, a real person ? who makes me feel sometimes ... just very sad, but who also brings me such joy. penny & niko are another example of that fun little thing we do where we throw these totally different characters together and then see what happens ( usually the most perfect of unexpected friendships ). i loved the last thread we did between them most, because it was one of the first chances i had ever gotten to showcase that a side of niko not really seen so often, and his confusion at penny’s genuine beautific happiness was just ... really fun to write and get into. i truly think you do such a good job with penny, and i love the dedication you have to the clearwaters, full stop. here’s to many more of their weird lil interactions ! 

005.   𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘. ( @blondsnake )

six months ago, they were one of the dynamics i chose to talk about in the original meme. when i did it that time, the excerpt i chose was : “i’m sorry,” he tells her, voice cracking, and he doesn’t know what he’s sorry for anymore. for the sins of his father? for ginny’s ruined childhood? for the fact that he is draco malfoy, and not someone else? & the REASON i chose them was at the time we wrote that thread, it felt very... real and raw and human, to me. it felt like we were exposing a nerve. the malfoy / weasley dynamic is expanded on so much when it comes to every other weasley, and ginny’s interaction with the family she has so much of a history with, with the son of the person who really took a key role in what she went through as an eleven year old, was just... so non-existent that getting to touch on it in the way we did felt...  incredbly important, and i remember the thread best for setting the continued tone. 

i’m choosing them now because i never, at any point, thought that we would end up where we are right now. i spend a lot of time, now, thinking about them - i can’t believe i never realised just how similar they were as people, and just how much possibility existed between them, because so much does, and every time we talk more about them, i come away with the feeling that this is a connection that’s like once in a lifetime esque, and i’m SO lucky that i’m writing it with you. you know ? you’re an incredibly talented writer who has four incredibly well thought out characters, and i love that i get to write with them all, because ALL of them are a treat to write with. i always wanna hear your thoughts, i always wanna hear your ideas and concepts, i always love the posts you send me and the things we joke about - almost as much as i love the things we don’t. that first night we realised what we had here came from utter meme and became something very very important to me. i’m always thinking about ‘he gives her a long look’. if you know you know, you know ? !  

006.   𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐇𝐎𝐕  &  𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅. ( @rcveuse )

saz, i know we’ve only gotten the one thread started so far, and they’re newer... but can i just say, i’m really really glad that you decided to come back to nox, and i’m even more glad that when you did you picked up those specific connections of mine, because they were some of my FAVORITE ones on the page & had never really gotten their dues ? the niko one in particular, that amelia is filling - i remember writing it because i wanted him to have moments of his life that were happy, and the best way i could think to showcase his emotional side was via someone he loved for real. i always said niko loved fiercely and was just as fiercely loyal, but i hadn’t gotten the chance to write it, because he’s a character so difficult to put into positions where he would. he takes a long time to fully bond to people. even after he does... he’s just. odd. it was a v important connection to me, and i love amelia so much, already, and can see exactly what existed in her that he fell for when he did. i’m so excited to write them more, and i can’t wait to see where the dynamic that exists now goes ! 

006.   𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐀 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅  &  𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄. ( @taciiturns )

i love kaela. i know we know this. i know i’ve said it so many times, and i know i’m going to say it again, a million times more - but i really do love mikaela karkaroff, and i already had the niko connection, so i really shouldn’t have been greedy, but.... i didn’t imagine what’s come to exist between kaela & merry at ALL. it’s a very interesting dynamic built from very simple beginnings, and it’s become one of my most enduring merry connections - i think it made her more of a person, and i totally have you to thank for it. they’re such different people from such similar worlds, with such an interest in one another that i have such a difficult time explaining - IT WORKS, it so works, but it works in a way where i kinda have to admit i never even expected it, and i feel like i’m learning more and more about it with merry. that’s a very fun sort of connection to write when it’s with someone who loves their character as much as you do kaela, and i’m endlessly interested in where it’ll go !