#I’m getting weed this weekend this is getting to be too much goodnight

[futureghost97]

oooooh currently crying because it’s now officially my childhood best friend’s birthday! I’m alone in bed and staring out the window which is nothing unusual for me these days but like… tonight it feels wrong because we should be suntired and drinking around the firepit at my parents’ old house, eating cake I baked and trying to be the funnier person and sticky with sand up to our shins and laughing with our friends well past midnight, and we should be exchanging our Christmas gifts on the patio even though it’s the middle of summer because we’re always half a year late with any gifts we give each other. but we have an entire country between us now and our friends don’t talk anymore and our mothers don’t know what happened and I miss being known and loved that well. Evan should be in charge of the fire (but I don’t even know where he is or who he talks to anymore) and Allison should be panicked about coyotes in the woods and gulley (but I can’t call her because I’m about to drop out of grad school for the third time) and Kyle and Katie should be huddled up for warmth (but they’re in separate cities and separate relationships and the last time I saw Kyle was November and the last time I saw Katie was two years ago). and Caleb should be hating that it’s his birthday and that everyone is celebrating it and paying attention to him, and I should be making him smile and wondering how I got so lucky and hating that he’ll have to go home to his house down the street instead of just staying forever (but he’s in LA now and I have no idea where he goes home to or who he goes home to and I only see him when he can afford a flight home). I shouldn’t be spinning and burning out in a cold city on my own, I hate this so so much.

[slxtarchive]

𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 ⍟ 𝐣𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐛𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬. you and jake had to be separated for a few nights but he stand being away from you for one

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. implied sexual intimacy, nudes!!! obv, a little bit of sexting, talk about marijuana, yk high horny shit…PS. i do not condone sending any nudes!!! i strongly recommend that you do not especially under 18!!! if you want to by all means do what you want but remember this decision can come back to haunt you, people are so fucked up these days just make sure you will not regret who you send them to!!! take care 💞

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬. my first jake fic/blurb :p ty ty

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭. 800+

you had taken a trip to go visit your parents for the weekend and a certain someone beside your cute cat was not happy about it.

you had gotten on your 2 hr flight back to your hometown with no missed calls…and landed with 15 missed calls from jake.

from jake 😇

baby when do you land???

hello??

baby why does your location say “no location found”

are you cheating on me

great, well now you won’t get to go on that cruise i booked

baby

babyyyy

hellooooo

it’s been 15 mins why can’t u answer me

did you already board

yes, jake looked nothing like he would act like this, but he was a huge baby.

from jake 😇

it’s been thirty minutes baby not funny anymore

i miss you

come back

please

as you landed you got a billion messages and the courtesy your phone had to notify you of them all was not missed.

the rest of jake’s messages consisted of …

from jake 😇

it’s been an hour i think i’m dying

from jake 😇

just jerked off for the first time in idk how long i need you

from jake 😇

i made food can you taste it? OH WAIT! you’re gone

from jake 😇

oh look it’s been 1 hr and 30 mins!? why haven’t you landed yet.

from jake 😇

IM DYING i think i’m dead

from jake 😇

2 hrs is UP!!!! why can’t i see your location

from jake 😇

baby

baby

baby

baby

from jake 😇

i love you pls answer me i’m gonna shit myself

when you saw the message or actually messages; plural.

you smiled.

to jake 😇

hellooo

you received a message from him almost instantly.

from jake 😇

BABYY

to jake 😇

i just landed im exhausted

from jake 😇

text me when you get to your parents house

to jake 😇

i will!

a few hours past and you were finally home from the airport

as soon as you get to your childhood bedroom your parents said goodnight and left you to unpack your things.

the jet lag wasn’t affecting you too much but you were still wide awake as you finally settled into bed.

from jake 😇

im glad you made it safe baby

i miss you

are you already asleep

to jake 😇

just got into bed

im not that tired i slept on the car ride a little

what are you up to

from jake 😇

smoking, thinking of you, the usual

to jake 😇

ugh i could use a smoke

from jake 😇

i could use some of you

to jake 😇

oh really, how

from jake 😇

many ways baby

ughhh why’d you have to go

i want you so baddd

to jake 😇

weed just makes you the horniest mf on the planet

from jake 😇

for you only

babyyyy

i want you so bad why r u so far

to jake 😇

im sorryyyy let me make it up to you

from jake 😇

as many rounds when you get back?

you had butterflies in your stomach as you turned your bedside lamp on.

you were only wearing a very thin lacy tank top and underwear.

you snapped a pic in the low light but didn’t put your face in the picture.

and then you sent it.

a few minutes past.

from jake 😇

you’re so beautiful

just wanna eat you out

to jake 😇

omg jake

from jake 😇

need u

you then stood up facing your full length mirror and looked at yourself.

you studied your appearance hyping yourself up then got up and went to your dresser that you had organized with your clothes you brought from home.

you tried looking for something sexier but the only thing you had brought was a swimsuit just in case your family decided to go swimming.

so you opted for just your bare self.

you turned back to the mirror grabbing your phone.

you weren’t sure how to do this but you knew jake would enjoy it regardless of what you did.

you had the idea to take the quilt from your reading chair and drape it across your naked chest.

so you took off your top and covered your right side but not your left.

you then took a mirror picture capturing you nude.

your heart pounded in your chest as you sent the picture.

a few minutes past again until you heard your phone buzz.

from jake 😇

holy shit

cannot take it anymore

need you to touch me soooooo bad

to jake 😇

sorry baby gotta do it yourself

from jake 😇

have no problem w that either

time passed and you felt yourself become aroused.

you wanted to touch yourself so bad and as you were about to, you received another message.

from jake 😇

finished

that was quick

thank you baby

can’t wait to see you

and touch you

you smiled at the phone finally feeling time catch up to you…

© slxtarchive

[comfortwriting]

Little Minx - F.W

Masterlist, Requesting Rules, Writing Prompts 

Fred Weasley x Fem Hufflepuff Reader

Prompts: 44, 45, 54. 

44: “what did that idiot say to you?” he asked again “just tell me!”

45: “it’s just a bit of weed, calm down okay?”

54: “you’re a prefect? no fucking way”

Requested/About: Fred and the reader aren’t close but know one another and hangout in the same social circles, engaging in constant banter with each other. One day, Fred and the readers sexual tension is pushed to breaking point when jealousy is thrown into the mix. 

Warnings: angst, swearing, sexual tension, soft smut, fingering, hand job, mention of drug use (smoking weed).

Sitting down in the three broom sticks you passed the butter beers down the table to Lee Jordan and the Weasley twins, hearing them muttering and insulting each other.

“Cheers love” George smiled at you, taking his drink. 

Lee moved his chair up over to the wall, you sat down at the table and took a sip of your own drink, licking away the liquid moustache that formed on your upper lip.

“y/n, be a doll and wash these pint glasses up for us, will you?” Fred smirked, pushing four or five empty glasses across the table towards you.

You rolled your eyes and scowled, trying not to let his dig bother you too much. 

“Shut it, you.” you replied, taking another sip. 

Fred smirked and started to laugh, elbowing George and mocking your response. Staring at his lips whilst doing so, you wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss him to shut him up but also because your heart kept begging for it. 

You often daydreamed about being with Fred, fucking him in the trophy room, in an empty classroom during detention, you thought about it all - and Fred making these jokes and frustrating you only made this worse and your feelings more intense. 

You brushed your foot against Fred’s leg, he turned to look at you, his expression slightly flustered by what you were doing. You continued to finish your drink, chatting with Lee and George, Fred felt like he could melt, he got himself excited and had to hold onto his seat. 

Picking up his drink, you smirked and kicked him, causing him to jolt and spill his drink all over the table and his brother. 

“Oi!” George yelled out, moving his books out the way “sort yourself out Freddie!”

You smirked and clamped your hand over your mouth, unable to stop laughing, Fred shot you a glare whilst gripping the inside of his thigh, swearing and muttering under his breath. 

Fred cleaned up the mess and the three of you continued to rinse him, taking the piss and making jokes, you couldn’t stop biting your lip and flashing him winks when George and Lee weren’t looking, getting the older twin more hot and bothered. 

Over the next week in the classes you and Fred shared together, you couldn’t help but tease him even more - you’d unbutton your shirt to expose your cleavage, roll up your skirt, continuously drop your quills so you had an excuse to bend over, biting your lip and winking at him. 

When it came to helping him with homework, projects and his tests, you made sure to confuse him, give him the wrong answers and get him into trouble whilst you continued to get everything right and go above and beyond with your studies.

Fred felt like he could burst into flames, so desperate to grab you by the waist and punish you for making a fool out of him at the weekend, but he also wanted to kiss you, run his fingers through your hair and give into his desires completely. 

Whilst eating your dinner, George and Lee waltzed over to you, mischievous glints splashed across their faces. You put down your fork and stared at them, a smirk playing on your lips, you hid your prefect badge in your pocket. 

“Where's Freddie?” you asked.

George and Lee kept shuffling with their hands in their pockets.

“Detention thanks to you” George replied.

“Anyway” Lee looked at the rest of the Hufflepuff students staring at him and put his focus back on you “can you help us..”

You cocked your eyebrow and raised your hands up in front of you in defence “okay, okay, I’m coming” 

Getting up from the table you followed Lee and George out of the great hall, the two of them hurrying away with their heads staring down at their shoes. Breaking out across the quidditch pitch, you noticed Fred sat on his broom, hovering above you with an annoyed expression on his face. 

“Thanks for that, Y/N” he scowled at you, flying down and unmounting his broom “you got the good stuff Georgie?” he asked his brother.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes “it’s why you should revise, Fred, I don’t help naughty boys” you smirked.

Fred glanced away from you, trying to hurry his brother up, knowing how pleased you would be to see you got him flustered. 

George got out some rolling paper from his pockets and a plastic tub filled with nugs, the four of you sat on the floor on a huge blanket, shielding yourself from the early evening breeze. Sitting next to Fred you winked at him and brushed your hand against his thigh, making him jolt and move away. 

You noticed the weed whilst George and Lee began to roll the joints, you pulled out your prefect badge from your pocket and pinned it onto your jumper, trying to imagine how Percy would act. 

“we can’t be doing drugs!” you fake hissed, bending over and trying to snatch the joint out of George’s grip. 

Fred could see your underwear and the outline of your pussy, instantly making him go red in the face, his dick starting to get a semi.

“it’s just a bit of weed, calm down okay?” George scolded you, moving the joint out of your reach.

Lee laughed and noticed the badge on your jumper and continued to roll the other joint “come on Y/N don’t be a snitch, I know your position requires it but we’ll curse you babe.” he spoke out calmly “won’t we Fred?”

You moved away from George and sat back down next to his twin, turning to face him, flashing a innocent smile.

Fred looked over to you and his face dropped, noticing your now gleaming badge  “you’re a prefect? no fucking way”

“We’ve known for ages, Freddie, she won’t tell, will you Y/N?” Georgie cut off his brother, finishing rolling the last joint, passing them around. 

You shook your head and smirked at Fred, batting your eyes at him “I won’t tell, I swear” you took a joint from George and passed the other to Fred. 

Fred glared at you and covered his bulge with his free hand and jumper, you eyes him up and raised an eyebrow, laughing at him. 

For the rest of the evening, George and Lee continued with the same old banter - ripping into one another, making jokes all whilst high and too dazed to properly think of something creative and witty; Fred sat back and just stared at you, his heart skipping beats as you laid your head against his shoulder. 

Fred pocketed his joint and so did you, you didn’t know why but if he wasn’t getting high, neither would you. 

His lust filled wants and needs swam around his head, whispered in his ears, images of you and him fucking flashed before him, his boner was painful and he had to keep swallowing the drool that pooled inside of his mouth. 

Lee and George kept yawning and decided to call it a night, getting up with them you hugged George goodnight, he pulled you into him and whispered in your ear “you should keep the badge on, look how flustered he is.” 

The two of you shot a smirk at his brother and laughed “see you later, love.” George waved.

Sitting back down, you laid on your back and watched the stars - the sky now dark shades of blue against the bright, twinkling stars.

“What did he say?” Fred asked, staring at you, admiring your beautiful features whilst his heart fluttered. 

“nothing” you laughed, shaking your head “it’s none of your business anyway”

Fred rolled his eyes and furrowed his brows, scooting across the blanket, sitting beside you  “what did that idiot say to you?” he asked again “just tell me!”

Turning your head to look at the golden haired boy, you bit your lip and let out a soft laugh “George notices how flustered you get because of me”

Fred got on top of you and brushed the hair out of your face, blocking your view from the stars; you didn’t mind, you preferred him anyway.

“You tease me on purpose, Y/N” Fred growled, his hand cupping your face, his thumb gently brushing over your bottom lip. 

Letting out a shaky breath, you kissed his thumb and stared into his deep brown eyes “that I do, but you know you love it”

Fred kept quiet, his eyes wandering over your lips and back up into your own lust filled eyes.

“How bad do you want me, Freddie?” you asked gently, running your hand up and down his arm. 

Fred started to get goose bumps, his hard on wanting to break free through his trousers “really bad”

You propped yourself up on you elbows, brushing your lips against his you whispered “show me”

Fred kissed you like his life depended on it, his tongue dancing with yours, his gentle hand moving up your inner thigh, his long digits brushing against your pussy through your silky underwear.

Letting out a moan against his lips, Fred hooked one of his fingers on the waist of your underwear, pulling them down your legs, his thumb circled around your clit whilst he lined up two of his fingers against your entrance. 

Fred pulled away from the kiss “May I?” he asked.

You nodded “Can I?”

Fred smirked and nodded too. 

His very touch making you wet, your own hand reached out, pulling down the zip on his trousers to pull them down and his boxers, his large length springing out and slapping against his stomach, you grasped it and started to pump gently. 

Feeling his fingers slide inside of you, pumping in and out whilst his thumb stimulated your clit sent fireworks of pleasure igniting inside of you but you wanted more and so did Fred, but he didn’t want to fuck you right here and now, out in the open - he wanted you to be in his warm bed, nice and comfortable.

Fred could sense this, he moaned out and started to kiss your neck, whispering in your ear “sometime soon, love, I promise” his kisses turned into sucking, leaving his marks on you for everyone to see.

Pumping his cock faster caused him to slip a third finger inside of you, finger fucking you faster and deeper whilst your clit started to send shockwaves from your knees and down your legs, you couldn’t lay still anymore and you bit your lip to hold yourself back from moaning out too loud, making you lips red and start to bleed. 

The very sight of you feeling so much pleasure because of Fred made him get closer, he had you exactly where he wanted you and he couldn’t get enough of hearing your moans and seeing the pleasure you were experiencing flash through your features. 

“look at those bloody gorgeous legs of yours shaking” Fred teased, your juices coating his fingers “cum for me” he grunted, twitching in your hand. 

“only if you do the same for me” you moaned out, pumping his cock faster, squeezing him. 

Fred could feel you tighten round his fingers, and he couldn’t get the thought of him making love to you out of his head. Letting his head fall back, Fred muttered swear words out of his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut - hot liquid shooting out and running down the head of his cock and down your fingers.

Feeling the fireworks explode inside of your tummy, the built up pressure inside of you released itself and leaked out onto Fred’s long fingers, your legs shaking and almost jolting. 

Withdrawing his fingers, you let go of Fred, he tumbled and lay next you - no longer blocking the view of the stars. The golden haired boy pulled put his wand, muttering “Scourgify” breathlessly, before pulling up his boxers and trousers. 

Putting your knickers back on, the two of you stared at the stars in silence, almost too shocked to talk about what just happened, Fred turned and looked at you, smiling. 

“Satisfied?” he asked, grinning. 

You slapped his arm playfully “I could ask you the same thing” you paused for a moment “same time next week?” 

Fred bit his lip “you’re a bloody little mix, you know that?”

Tag list: @amourtentiaa , @reeophidian , @inglourious-imagines

[moonlightchildz]

The art of broken love; K.T

writer: moonlightchildz

date published: 03/07/2020

pairings: taehyung x reader

warnings: smut: creampie, fingering, unprotected sex, oral f. receiving, uhh does dirty talk count??, use of drug (weed), & angst

description: you were utterly and irrevocably in love with kim taehyung. problem was that he was your best friend’s ex.

word count: 21.2k (whoops)

His lips are roaming the crook of your neck, tongue sweeping your skin. His hands are placed on the wall that you’re backed into, eyes watching you as you begin to lose yourself into his touch. You’re mewling at just the sensation of his mouth on your skin, hands beginning to tangle themselves into his long, wavy hair. His wet kisses start to trail up your neck, kissing the side of your mouth as you giggle, eyes opening to finally see him.

“Taehyung,” you pull him closer, noses nudging against each other’s. He hasn’t kissed you yet and you’re becoming a tad bit crazier as each second passes since you need to kiss him at this point.

“I love you,” he whispers it out against your mouth, fingers encasing your mouth to keep you close to him. Your eyes widen, fingers becoming numb. “I love you.”

And before you could utter those same words out to him, you woke up.

“Holy fuck,” you panted out heavily, hands trembling as you tried to get yourself together. You glanced around your bedroom, noting that it’s past three am and you feel those familiar tears paint your face once again.

You did not just have a wet dream of fucking your best friend’s ex.

                                                            ——

“What’s wrong with you this morning?”

Hyejin eyed you skeptically, innspecting your bodry from head to toe.

“I couldn’t sleep very well last night,” you partially admitted to your best friend. There was no way in hell you were going to tell your best friend you had a dream of being fucked thoroughly by her ex-boyfriend. Oh and let’s not forget the part where he told you he loved you.

“Yeah it looks like you had one fucked up night,” she mused out and you just ignored her for her sake. Instead you dragged your way to the fridge, trying to find something edible to have at four in the morning. Once you finally found your culprit, Frosted Flakes, you decided you needed some bananas in it as well. 

“Why are you still up?” You asked with a mouthful of cereal. Your best friend just kept analyzing you since you knew you probably looked quite sad and vulnerable right now in her eyes.

She immediately grabbed herself a bowl and joined you. “Joon left an hour ago and I just took a shower. I have today off so no worries.”

Regardless if she didn’t have today off, she still would be staying up until her shift started. She was that insanely chaotic.

“Anyway, Joon is coming over so—“

You were already groaning. Whenever Namjoon came over that meant you either slept with your headphones plugged in with all of the high volume on, or spending the night somewhere else that wouldn’t require you to throw yourself out your bedroom window. Namjoon and Hyejin were just so unnecessarily loud when fucking, it was irritating and ruining your much adored sleeping hours. Not to mention that Namjoon was also one of your best friends. In fact, you and that absolute clumsy moron were practically sibling soulmates. So it was definitely weird seeing both of your worlds just collide into one.

“I’m not in the mood to spend the night somewhere else.”

“Actually he’ll be spending the weekend next week so,” she paused, taking your reaction in. You didn’t know what kind of expression she saw on your face, but she hastily began to launch into an apologetic but semi aggressive rant. “Look, his water is gonna be out for the weekend cause he’s reconstructing his bathroom. He was already going to stay at this expensive ass hotel, but I’m not letting him when he can crash here with me.  Also, y/n, he’s your best friend.”

You never had a problem with your best friend’s lovers that is until she started dating the ever so artistically, beautifully, and charismatic man named Kim Taehyung, but that’s another story to tell. Namjoon was a great guy. He was sweet, poetic, and everything a man should be but he was also careless, clumsy, and a complete nimrod. Yeah he was your best friend, but it just weird it you out that these two suddenly started dating a year ago. You remember passing out with Namjoon on your bed after your little drinking session of cheap vodka had escalated. Namjoon was all wrapped up in your covers and you were thrown on him, mouth wide open with drool collecting on our pillow. Hyejin had stormed in and immediately raged. If you could color the way her face looked, it would be more along the lines of an angry, magenta red.

She was screaming ‘how could you do this to me?’ and ‘you know what I’ve been through’ but poor Namjoon was still knocked out, snoring his problems away. She tried coming at you and you just ran away screaming at her to fuck off. By the time she got you, Namjoon was widely awake and ripping her off from you, yelling at her to get away from you. The misunderstanding was cleared up, but you never really forgave her for thinking that you could ever betray her like that. Even when she was with Taehyung, you never once tried to get with him. Your friendship with him was just that, a heartbreaking and one side love that had turned into a beautiful friendship.

And then he left without a trace.

 Snapping out of your thoughts, you immediately launched into your list of do’s and don’ts. “He’s not touching my food, he has to pick up after himself, whatever the hell he breaks he’s paying for or I will drive my foot up his ass so far you’re going to be kissing it goodnight instead, okay?” You smiled rather sweetly at her, but she knew you meant business.

Hyejin was already nodding, launching off her chair to throw her arms around your neck in such excitement. Getting to agree to bring boyfriends over was a cautious decision ever since her last relationship. She was more secretive, more reserved, and wouldn’t overshare anymore. That still didn’t change the fact that you both loved each other so much despite everything. However, Namjoon was your best friend first, so any stupid ideas that she got were immediately shot down by Namjoon and you. Which brings you back to this predicament.

“Thank you, thank you, and thank you!” She squealed in your ear and as much as you loved her, having her scream in your ear at nearing five in the morning wasn’t something you wanted to endure anymore.

“Uh huh,” you sighed and gently pried her off you. With that, you finished your bowl, threw it inside the sink, and bid her a goodnight before you dragged yourself back to bed. You figured tomorrow was going to be a long day at work.

And it was.

 It was filled with reports, your dickhead of a boss assigning you the worse people to work on a proposal that was due next week, and honestly you couldn’t believe you chose this field instead of something you would genuinely like to do. Society had its way of bending you over and fucking you over completely. Thinking about that, you then realized you hadn’t actually fucked anyone in over a year again. It reminded you just how lonely and saddened life had become for you. It only reminded you of him and how much you missed him wholeheartedly. It was honestly pathetic. Stop, you told yourself. Just stop it already.

 If live was a canvas, everything would be shaded in with the grayest and darkest of colors. Splattered paint would angrily cover it, and to soothe the pain it would be with gentle strokes of the softest of white. There were moments in life that you knew the soft white color would turn into a variety of others, it’s just the timing wasn’t right now. And as you wandered aimlessly around the museum, you started noticing your surroundings once you turned the corner and saw a more colorful perspective of art being displayed on the wall. Every single painting looked the same in a sense, but you knew in your eyes that it wasn’t.

 Each stroke, each color, each scheme represented something that the artist itself was trying to portray to themselves, or anyone feeling the same as them. It differed from love, anger, fervor passion, and distinguishable sadness that welcomed you so warmly. It wasn’t until you reached the last painting, when you slowly came to a stop. Everything about it screamed at you, demanding your utmost attention. Because even as the brightest of colors covered the canvas, the picture itself contrasted it. There was two figures. You presumed it was a male and female. One was in the middle shinning as brightly as they can, and the other remained in the shadows. But as you inspected it closer, you realized that it hid in the shadows of her colors, watching her. A hand was spread out and you could see on the palm of his hand was split with her colors, and the other with what seemed to be his.

It was breathtakingly beautiful. And it reminded you of someone so much that you felt something spill from your cheeks. Your hand was trembling as you tried to stop the drops that were falling and you claimed it was just raining. It was.

 It was severely raining inside your soul.

 And then your eyes glanced over at the artist’s name: Silly by Vante

You blinked once, then twice, and then finally you had to lean against the wall to sustain yourself properly. There was no way in hell this could be happening to you right now. There was no way in hell that life could be this cruel to you in this instant. But the shaking in your fingers, the quivering in your lips, and the sobs that were lodged in your throat begged to differ. All you wanted was a distraction, not a wakening alarm. So before you lost your shit, you tried gathering the last remaining bits and pieces of yourself before you lost those too since it had taken ages to collect those when he had left.

You felt a presence behind you and you just wanted to get out of there and breathe. Time felt as if it was slowing down, the ticking began to commence.

A painting by him? Here? Here?

“y/n?”

Your bags slipped from your fingertips. 

You didn’t turn around.

By the sound of just their voice you already knew who it was and honestly you felt your heart and mind were just playing tricks on you. Your mind knew what your heart needed and it was simply giving it to you in a sense of a vague memory of him. You were going batshit crazy.

“I know it’s you,” he spoke up after a moment and that confirmed it.

He was actually here. He was actually here.

You hadn’t seen him, or even spoken to him after your best friend broke up with him. He had vanished out of your life the second they were done and even though you told yourself several of times that he wasn’t yours to even yearn for, your heart didn’t give a fuck. In the wake of an ending relationship, a friendship had blossomed between you and him. So in a way it was like a break up to you too. You had lost someone special in your life and you didn’t even get to say goodbye. You didn’t get to say goodbye to him, or your pending feelings for him.

No matter how hard you tried to sustain yourself, you didn’t want to turn around. Because once you turned, you’d have to face reality and you weren’t exactly prepared for that in that instant. Your eyes were set on the wall, tears prickling. Don’t cry you weak little bitch. Suck it up and breathe. It was the beating of your heart and the jitters that reminded you that you were indeed alive and still breathing despite everything. And it was screaming, ‘he’s back’ with such intensity. With a deep breath, you slowly turned around.

He was carrying shopping bags in both hands. His hair was matted up as usual, but there was now a gleam in his eyes like never before. You noticed his hair had gotten longer, strands of dark brown hair covered his eyes. His beige cotton sweater complimented his skin so well and fit so loosely on him. Not to mention those brown plaid pajama pants that he would wear every day because he claimed ‘it’s fashionable these days’ and ‘look! It matches everything I wear’. But despite his physical exterior changing, the way his eyes shone immediately whispered to your aching heart that he hadn’t.

Taehyung. My Taehyung.

Out of all the days he could show up, it just happened to be that same day he had surprised you in your dreams. It happened to be the day you had wandered inside the museum you had met him in two years ago.

 “Beautiful isn’t it?”

 You were utterly speechless. “I’ve always loved the concept of the sun, moon, and the stars. It’s sort of a love triangle between them. You know the story of how the sun died every night just to let her breathe? Well, the stars make the essence of the sky. It unifies them, ties them together and makes them even more beautiful. But people think of stars separately. They don’t see the stars with the sun and the moon even though they should be.”

 The stranger turned to look at you. “Have you ever considered that the stars alone don’t need the sun and the moon? They are their own separate entity. They shine brightly with, or without them.”

 “They are uniquely beautiful. And the whole romance between the sun and the moon is bittersweet since yeah they were once together in a sense, but they don’t complement each other. The stars do.”

   You had missed him so dearly and now he was just a few feet away from you, looking toned and practically glowing. In that second, you felt your body go numb and haywire simultaneously. All of these thoughts whirled inside your mind as your body stay put in its place because he was right there. All you wanted to do was cry and be welcomed back into his arms. Your heart yearned for it as all of the memories that you created with him overwhelmed you once again.

  It was summer again.

You were laying on his lap, babbling away some nonsense since you were drunk. Taehyung on the other hand was just amusingly watching you, responding back to you and even questioning you more. Your best friend had already fallen asleep on his bed, leaving you both alone in the dark as you both softly whispered to each other. Empty glasses of wine stood on the outdoor table along with a jar of weed, and there was your bong sitting beside it.

“You’re so cute,” he bopped your nose and you rolled your eyes. You tried swatting his hand away but instead he just pinched the bridge of your nose softly.

“If I’m so cute, then why am I still single,” you whined out and Taehyung just softly chuckled. “You know, whenever I see you and Hyejin I get a little sad.”

“I’m sorry.” He immediately responded, but you hadn’t caught that.

“But it’s because I’m reminded that I don’t have anyone to kiss, or hug, or even share something with. I mean for fucks sake, I haven’t fucked anyone since—” you counted your fingers and whined some more upon realizing just how long you’ve been dry. “Oh my god it’s been a year.”

Taehyung quirked an eyebrow. “I find that very hard to believe.”

“Me too.” You agreed and Taehyung remained silent. Curious upon his silence, you glanced up to see him intently gazing down at you. It was as if he was caught in his own thoughts. His finger delicately traced the underside of your chin rather gently and as you both continued to speak in hush whispers to each other, you wondered what went on that pretty head of his when it came to you. Deep in your heart you knew the reason why you hadn’t let another person touch you intimately. They just weren’t him.

  The way you both greeted each other had become a routine even.

“Hey there, silly.” He greeted you quite enthusiastically, arm slinging over your shoulders. He pulled you towards his side and you made yourself comfortable, a smile already laced on your lips.

“Hey there you twat,” you happily chirped out but Taehyung had another set of plans since he teasingly ruffled your hair and you whined, hitting his chest rather harshly. 

“Oh no, no!” He was quick in stopping the both of you. From behind, you could feel his warm hands slide over your sides before wrapping his arms around you, spinning you around as you began laughing and telling him to stop.

 The feeling of his hands on your skin kept you wide awake for nights.

   “What are we doing tonight by the way?”

You glanced over at Taehyung who was already awaiting your answer. The both of you were on the couch side by side. There was a respective amount of distance between the two of you in the beginning, but then a fighting footsie battle had initiated and you were leaning on his shoulder now, watching him play on your Playstation 4.

“You sir,” you tapped his nose to try and gain his attention. “Have a date with Hyejin tonight, remember?”

He squinted, tilted his head back, and made a motion of opening his mouth to bite your finger rather than answering. You just shoved him back by the push of your hand on his forehead. It was after a couple of minutes later that he decided to say, “That doesn’t mean we can meet later? I wanna show you my new playstation.” He then pouted as you started shaking your head.

“Can’t. She told me she had a special surprise for you so,” you smiled, though it didn’t exactly meet your eyes this time. “I’ll be staying at Namjoon’s tonight.”

“Oh,” His movements on the controller suddenly slowed down, attention span lost. “Namjoon? You mean that dorky professor who everyone has a crush on?”

“You mean the dweeb that is my best friend?” you corrected him, finding it amusing that everyone around you did in fact have a crush on Namjoon. “Yeah.”

“Right.” He drawled out, clearly not buying it. 

“Anyways, I have to get ready for work soooo,” You ruffled his hair and quickly ran past him because you knew he would follow you and tickle you endlessly. From behind your closed door, you heard him whine in return.

“MY HAIR.”

“Have fun on your date!” You shouted instead, softly giggling to yourself like a school girl.

“I’ll try.” He quipped and you were left there wondering if he meant it, or if he was genuinely playing around.

 And then, there was that one night that changed everything around you.

Hyejin had been pestering you about your love life, trying to interrogate you as to why you were always so single and lonely. It did aggravate you at times. It felt as if she was pouring salt and lime all over your wound, but there was one night where she had set up a blind date with someone who you were definitely not interested in knowing at all. She wanted you to tag along to her and Taehyung’s date. You obviously declined, but it’s not like she ever listened in the first place.

“I don’t wanna go,” you told her, but she was not having it.

“I worked hard for this night and you Miss are not going to ruin it.”

“Dude, just go without me. I’m sure you rather not spend time alone with Tae.”

She stopped swirling the batter she was keen on making for pancakes. Something about the way she glanced over you, as if something was at the tip of her tongue should have raised concerned. Slowly, she prompted, “Tae?”

You on the other hand were carelessly flipping over your notebook, trying to review your notes for exam season that was quickly approaching. “Your boyfriend?” you told her, pouting once you realized your head was hurting beyond belief.

“I never knew you and him were that close,” she noted, eyebrows furrowing a bit.

“Well, that’s what happens when you’re a third wheel in your best friend’s relationship,” you carelessly joked, but she didn’t laugh. She just stayed silent.

You figured it was the nerves since she always tended to get very easily irritated whenever something important was coming up. Her anniversary with Taehyung was just weeks away and she was racking her brain for ideas. And since you were her best friend, you obviously had to hear it and even voice your opinions. It was definitely some cruel and twisted joke. However, after that day she never spoke to you about Taehyung anymore.

Then the date night came.

“Tae is here,” you notified Hyejin once you received his text to open the door.  She was prancing around the room, trying to make sure she looked like perfection when in reality she already was. Your best friend was honestly beautiful inside and out, no wonder Taehyung was so in love with her.

You were about to step out to let Taehyung in to let her continue getting ready when Hyejin spread out her arm, stopping you from walking out of your room. You blinked twice, trying to understand what was happening.

“My boyfriend is here so I go first,” she tried joking, passing past you before you could walk out into the living room. You simply stepped aside and signaled her to walk before you. You figured it was just the nerves.

“You look gorgeous,” you overheard Taehyung tell Hyejin. She giggled quite loudly and you glanced over your phone, definitely not having it tonight. Maybe you could pretend you were sick?

“Where’s y/n?” Taehyung suddenly asked, his deep voice making its way into your heart.

At the sound of your name slipping past his lips, your nerves simmered down. You could do it. It was just one night that you had to endure. Everything would be okay. Without a much glance at yourself, you began walking into the living room to accompany them. You were texting Wheein and Yongsun, trying to find their encouragement words as motivation for tonight.

“Wow,” was what made you look up from your phone as soon as you stepped foot inside the living room. Wow indeed. Taehyung was so insanely handsome in rendered you speechless. His short hair had been permed like he had told you he would do it and you wondered how it would feel like against your fingers. He wore a light grey long overcoat that covered the creamy-white dress shirt that molded to his body like second skin. His dress pants made his ass stand out and you noted the rings that decorated his hand so prettily. His pretty dark brown eyes was all that you could think of in that moment.

“We’re matching,” Taehyung grinned, eyes firmly set on your eyes now.

You glanced down at yourself and laughed, because yes, you both were matching. A creamy white champagne high low dress complimented your body. The straps hung loose on your arms where you decided to put a bracelet and to compliment it you wore rings on your fingers. The jacket that you had on was a light grey color and your curly hair had been pinned up by the sides.

Taehyung’s grin was endless that it made your heart flutter.

“You look really beautiful,” he said and you wondered if the smile you instantly let on your face screamed the evident feelings you had for him.

“She would have looked better in another dress.” Hyejin spoke up, eyes raking your body from head to toe. “Also those heels are old and worn out. You wanna wear some of mine instead?  You know the ones that Taehyung gave to me?”

“No,” you shook your head, still smiling. “I wouldn’t want them to get dirty, or worse trip and break them.”

Taehyung’s grin slowly morphed into a disappointed frown. He glanced over at his girlfriend, eyebrow quirked. In return you glanced her way and then back at Taehyung who seemed to be getting irritated as each minute passed.

“So, are we just gonna stare at each other, or can we leave already? Your date is already waiting for you over there, y/n.” She said, eagerly signaling you to walk out before them.

Taehyung began coughing, hands turning an awful white from how hard he was curling his fist. And Hyejin immediately started spluttering out, “Babe, are you okay? Would a kiss make it better?”

And that was your cue for you to let them be. You grabbed Taehyung’s keys from the couch and then you simply told them you would wait in the car, leaving them inside. They took quite a while to come down, but once they joined you inside you noticed there was a certain tension between them, and it was starting to suffocate you.

“Oh, fuck I forgot my purse in my apartment. y/n, go get it.”

“No,” you flatly responded. “You go get it. It’s cold and I’m being dragged out to this, remember?”

“Boo,” she pouted and then sighed heavily. “I guess we’re not going anywhere then.”

“Hyejin,” Taehyung suddenly spoke out, his patience wearing thin. “Are you good? Why are you acting so bratty lately? If y/n doesn’t wanna go then—”

“Leave her out of this,” she gritted out, surprising you momentarily. “She is fine. I’m the one who is not. I’m fucking cold, you know, your girlfriend? So can you go get my purse and my jacket?”

Taehyung inhaled deeply, face remaining stoic before he calmly exited out of the car. She watched him slowly walk back up the stairs and you remained silent for a bit, trying to figure it out how to approach your best friend without pissing her off furthermore.

“Hyejin, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, y/n.” She snapped and you bit down on your lip, restraining yourself from provoking her. The last thing you needed was a fight between the two of you. He came back after ten minutes and once he started driving, you sighed. Hyejin started talking to him then, animatedly telling him how the guy was a perfect for you and she couldn’t wait for you to meet him. She even joked about getting rid of you finally.

“Now Taehyung will be able to finally spend the night again.”

Except her plans backfired for that night since your blind date didn’t have the nerve to cancel last minute. Though that didn’t hurt you as much as watching them together in front of you. Hyejin clung on to Taehyung, seductively muttering nonsense into his ear but his eyes were set on you. Yeah having to endure them together was something you had to put up with since that was your best friend, but just the realization that he’ll never be yours to love wholeheartedly did the trick that night.

You remember excusing yourself and rushing into the bathroom stall where your tears were hidden from everyone in that moment. You clung on to your dress, eyes blurry as you felt your heart break further more. Your back was against the stall and you were huddled into your own bitter demise because why? Out of everyone in this goddamn world did you have to fall for someone who belonged to someone else? 

“Get yourself together, bitch.” You sniffled out, trembling hands beginning to wipe away your tears. “You’re no pussy, hoe.” 

Once you repeatedly told yourself that mantra, you gathered your shit together temporarily. You hastily splashed water on your face, trying to erase evidence of your downfall since you couldn’t handle looking at yourself anymore. After a couple of minutes of just resting your forearms on the sink, head between your arms, you reminded yourself that you could just go home. You would excuse yourself from their date, leave in an Uber, and go to Namjoon’s since you didn’t want to handle Hyejin. Not whenever you were so close to breaking.

The moment you stepped foot outside though, you spotted Taehyung pacing back and forth, talking to himself. He was running his fingers through his hair, tugging at it insistently.

“Tae?”

He stopped at the sound of your voice, hands falling to his sides as he turned to face you.

“Hey there silly,” he softly spoke upon seeing you. He was quick to approach you and you allowed him to pull you close into his arms, inhaling his sweet scent. You allowed yourself the comfort as his hands caressed your back. “I’m sorry she put you up to this. I told her you weren’t comfortable.”

You allowed yourself to curl up further into his embrace, hands sliding underneath his arms, digging into his shoulder blades. You felt as if you were crumbling and he was here collecting your pieces, helping you remain intact for a little longer.

“It’s okay, I’m just tired really.” You croaked out, genuinely feeling drained in that moment. “I’m just tired of constantly having to fight myself for something that is out of my control.”

“We’re leaving okay? I’m going to take you to that stupid noodle place you love so much and play that dumb board game that you’ve been wanting us to play. I think we have some left over face masks, too. And of course your favorite thing in the world?”

“Weed?” you hopefully asked and Taehyung just laughed.

“On a serious note,” he began murmuring it out, “I’m sorry you had to deal with that unsympathetic asshole, but in reality I’m sorry for him. He missed out on an amazing woman who lights up her surroundings with just a glance of her eyes.”

“You’re too kind sometimes, Kim Taehyung,” you softly told him. Please stop.

He slowly bent down, eyes set on you now. His hands framed your face so tenderly and you swore fate was cruel to you. “I’m being 100 percent honest with you right now. You are such an amazing person and I—”

He suddenly halted. You could feel the way his hands curled around your face, fingertips slowly tracing your skin. The way he was gazing at you and tenderly touching you made your heart flutter. It made forgetting him ridiculously harder than it already was.

“If I were an artist, I wouldn’t hesitate to make as many portraits as it takes to make you realize just how beautiful you are.”

“But you are an artist,” you immediately interject, not having it. Taehyung was an incredible artist, but he always claimed he was the contrary. He didn’t really see the talent that he possessed, but in your eyes he was the next Van Gogh. After all, he had painted your world in a variety of colors.

He laughed softly to himself, and instead of saying more, he simply pulled you back into his arms. The moment you felt his lips trace your head something strange had happened. As he held you in his embrace, your fingers curled into his shirt, the desire to kiss him becoming incredibly stronger than remembering that he wasn’t yours. But as he reassured you with the sweetest of words, you realized you were utterly and irrevocably in love with Kim Taehyung.

 It was a few weeks later after the date night when Taehyung had called you at exactly seven in the afternoon. You weren’t alone in the apartment since Hyejin was preparing herself for the ‘happiest night of her life’ as she claimed. She was bragging and constantly telling you about it to the point where your heart and mind connected to tuning her out whenever she did. Instead, your thoughts rewind it back to that night. That night when you realized just how deeply your feelings for him were coursing through your veins. Ever since then, you hadn’t seen him.

Then as soon as you were tucked inside your covers, heartbroken, and ready for bed, his unexpected call came through. You didn’t even say hello before he was sputtering out, “Can you come over? Please? I-I need, um, it’s an emergency.”

He hung up after that. All kinds of scenarios formed in your mind in that instant. Was he hurt? Did he finally realized he no longer wanted you in his life? Maybe he needed help in picking out his outfit for the perfect night tonight. So with your pjs on, you slid on a hoodie and secretly left without telling your best friend anything. Either way she didn’t notice.

“You actually came,” Taehyung spoke up, sounding weak and even relieved in a sense.

You mustered up a tiny, but genuine closed lip smile. “Of course, dummy.”

“I thought you were ignoring me,” he said, pausing afterwards to see you. His eyes trailed your body from head to toe, a tiny grin replacing the worried frown he had earlier.

“Shut it,” you immediately told him, huffing. Yes, you were wearing mickey mouse pajama pants, and yes Taehyung was grinning widely now.

“This isn’t even about me so—” you stopped talking once you realized just how distraught he really seemed. “Tae, what the hell happened to you?”

His hair was everywhere, dark heavy bags underlined his eyes, and all over his clothes was splattered paint. Without even intending so, you quickly approached him. Your hands were framing his face before you could detain yourself, eyes roaming his features. He had purple, green, pink, gold, and blue paint adorning his handsome face.

“Hey,” with a soft whisper, you demanded, “talk to me.”

He simply responded back with his beautiful, signature, boxy smile. “I rather show you instead.”

Confused, you glanced up at him and he just pulled you closer to him. His hand pressed against the back of your head, hugging you fully now. And you just complied with your hearts desires and inhaled deeply his scent. Your hands tentatively wrapped around his sides, ear placed directly against his beating heart.

“Thank you for coming,” he softly spoke to you and you hummed in peace. “You made me realize what I finally need to do now.”

Of course, after all, you were in love with him. You would do anything in order to retain that beautiful smile of his, even if it meant breaking your own heart in the process. Because the person who was responsible for his happiness, for that smile, and for his heart was someone else.

“Come,” his voice rumbled throughout his chest and you nodded, your heart sighing. He was pulling away from you, slowly, and you found yourself not wanting to let go. You found yourself wishing you didn’t feel this way about your friend, about your confidant, and about your best friend’s boyfriend but the heart wants what it wants.

“Someone missed me,” Taehyung mused out, glancing down at you. His arms immediately went back around your body, wrapping you up so warmly against him in a way that made your heart stammer beyond control.

“As much as I love this,” he chuckled, his deep, honey like voice sounding like a melody in your ears. “I’ve been working on this for weeks and it’s really important.”

“Okay.” You let go of him, reminding yourself where your place should be. You shyly glanced up at him and found him already looking at you. He didn’t say anything else, instead, his fingers tentatively interlocked with yours.

The feeling of his hand sliding and interlacing with your own, only enhanced everything around you. You felt dizzy and lightheaded from just being near him, but now he was holding your hand as he led you through his apartment.

Taehyung unlocked a door that had always been secured. He didn’t even allow Hyejin to see what was in there, much less go into the said room. You slowly followed behind, curious eyes taking in every detail. All around the three walls, paintings were hung. The only light that was being portrayed was by the wall to wall sliding doors. The room was painted with beige colors, and next to the doors you could see pillows and blankets strewn. Alongside stood bottles of water, wine, and his color palette that had been heavily used judging by the colors that were grimy and mixed together.

“Okay but these paintings are beautiful as fuck, holy shit.” You were in absolute awe that you let go of his hand first. “Can I?” you whispered out, unsure if it was okay to taint his pretty art with your touch.

He simply smiled.

So you went around the room, curious eyes taking in every detail because Taehyung had taken seconds, minutes, hours, days, or even weeks out of his life to pour his soul into these canvases and convert them into his own art. You gazed in fascination since he managed to mix every color together, creating these contracting meshes into one. It depicted him so well, and you felt an overwhelming pride upon seeing these because he finally painted.

It was the last painting that made you stop and really take time and depth into analyzing it.

“Do they remind you of something?” He was behind you, probably just a couple of inches away from you since you could feel his warm breath fan the back of your neck.

You tilted your head, trying to decipher what it meant. The painting was eccentric from the start. In the background the colors were shaded in dark monotone colors but in the center of the painting there was a figure that resembled a woman that was outlined with soulful colors. Hues of pinks, blues, yellow, green, and everything in between surrounded the figure that happened to have their eyes closed with a smile. As you sank to your knees to get a closer view, you traced the stars in the background with your fingertips. Something about it reminded you of something but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it yet. Stars? The moon and the sun were parallel to each other. The stars were everywhere though, outshining them both in a sense. An overwhelming emotion clouded your senses once seeing the painting as a whole. The woman was painted beautifully.

“It was the first time we met,” he quietly explained and you felt the air in your lungs rapidly leave your body. “At the art exhibit. I remember you telling me about how you’re stupidly obsessed with the concept of stars, the moon, and the sun.”

“Is that...” you swallowed thickly, hysteria bubbling up inside of you. No, no, it couldn’t be what you were thinking.

“Read the back of it,” he softly spoke behind you.  

“I-I,” you started blubbering out, your eyesight momentarily blurring for a second. As your finger traced the stars, you felt the sob lodged in your throat threatening to spill out.

Silly.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung was quick to pick up on your mannerisms. He seemed concerned upon seeing the tears in your eyes once you turned around to face him.

“You idiot,” you simply muttered out before launching yourself at him. Arms winded around his neck and Taehyung softly chuckled before wrapping his strong arms around you. You inhaled his scent, finding comfort in his arms and just him overall.

“Thank you,” your voice was muffled out by his clothing. “Thank you.”

“It’s yours, if you want it.” He softly spoke out, chin on top of your head. His thumb was rubbing soothing circles on to your exposed skin, humming along to whatever song was on his mind in that moment.

You simply nodded, afraid if you spoke something else would end up happening in that moment. Your quivering lips ghosted over his exposed skin, hot breath fanning against his chest. His movements stopped suddenly, and you could feel him inhale sharply. Your fingers were digging into his sides, tears beginning to stain his shirt now.

“I—” you choked out, not really finding the right words to say to him.  

“Please don’t cry,” he begged you, his hands cupping your cheeks. You could feel his hot breath fan against your lips. His nose nudged against yours and you felt a dizzying spell overwhelm your soul upon being so close. He was tantalizing you without even meaning to. Just by the way his breath ghosted your face, your mind had wiped clean your conscious. He was so close. He was just there. His fingers were tangling into your hair, unspoken words being desperately told with just a flickering of eyes between the two of you.

“You are so undeniably, bewitchingly, ethereally beautiful.” He softly confessed against your mouth. You felt the murmur of his lips against yours and it just enhanced his lovely words into your heart. The pad of his finger softly ghosted over your bottom lip and you didn’t realize how utterly close the both of you were until you felt the erratic beating of his heart. Your fingers wandered up his arms, suddenly stopping once they were around his neck.

“y/n, I—” he breathed out, his lips slowly and just inches away from finally meeting yours. Your eyes were fluttering to a close, almost allowing yourself to finally dive head into what was Kim Taehyung, but just as your heart almost gave up on you, your mind thought of something immediately.

“Hyejin,” you threw out, eyes widening. Hyejin. Images of your best friend flickered in your brain, the red warning flags finally slapping you back to reality. A reality where Kim Taehyung was not yours and will never be yours. His heart belonged to someone else.

“Oh fuck,” he suddenly blurted out as you were pushing him away from you. The both of you instantly fell apart in that moment. Shame quickly took a whole of you now and the mortification and guilt was just eating you away as you tried to avoid Taehyung’s gaze.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” you shakily said, your heart breaking with each word you uttered out.

Taehyung had his eyes screwed shut, his hands hastily tugging at the roots of his hair in what seemed desperation. “I, uh, I actually have to meet up with her.” He said as an afterthought, and then his eyes widened. “Oh fuck, I have to go pick her up in twenty minutes.”

He glanced your way and you simply did not look at him at all. After all, you were just seconds away from kissing him and rendering straight into his arms. Your feelings had begun to control you and that had become incredibly dangerous now. You knew deep in your heart that you needed to get away from him because you were sure the next time you wouldn’t remember Hyejin. But that’s what happens when you’re trapped with the person you’re in love with. Feelings tend to tangle you up, choking you up until you’re forced to breathe because you’re suffocating on the inside from all the kept up emotions.

Despite everything, you were already demanding him, “Taehyung, go get showered and dressed.” You didn’t even spare him a glance as you walked past him. Your hands were trembling, head whirling, and broken pieces leading from Taehyung’s hands to wherever you were heading into now.

“Hey, wait.” He was trailing after you, hand encasing your arm to stop you. He held you back, managing to spin you halfway from the sudden momentum. His eyes were pleading, feet unconsciously nearing you. “Please, look at me. We need to talk abo—”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you back like that.” You blurted out, your trembling fingers taking off his hand from your skin. It was too much. You wouldn’t even dare to look him straight in the eye because you knew you were bound to cry and spill everything that your heart was just aching you to at this point.

“What?” he sounded incredulous, eyebrows furrowing as he slowly said the following words, “Don’t you ever apologize for spending time with me. I love being around you.”

Despite everything, you meekly wondered, “Really?”

His fingertips were already marking their way into your skin, comforting you without him meaning to. “So much that you make me forget life altogether.”

It was so messy. You wondered when everything in your life had become such havoc. How everything had spiraled out of control and you no longer were in reign over your emotions. The moment Kim Taehyung pranced into your life, you knew you were bound to be fucked. You didn’t expect to fall so in love with your best friend’s boyfriend. You just didn’t expect such heartbreak in return after this moment.

“Taehyung,” you croaked out, tears slipping past your cheeks. “I—”

“What is it?” He tried nearing you, but with each step he took you backtracked. “Just tell me already. I know you fee—”

“Hyejin,” was all you could muster out. You couldn’t do that to her. No way.

I love you, but you are not mine to love Kim Taehyung. At least, not in this lifetime.

You flung his hand away from you, already walking away from him, muttering out, “I’ll see you around.”  

 That same night you trailed your broken hearted soul back to Namjoon’s penthouse. His keys dangled on your fingers, mocking you with each step you took towards your own demise. He wasn’t there so that made it even worse. Namjoon had been your comfort, best friend, and soulmate since the first time you both met. In fact, your friendship was stronger than yours and Hyejin’s combined. Unfortunately though, he wouldn’t be there to hold you tonight and you decided it was okay. You figured you’d cook for the both of you whenever he decided to come back from girlfriend number four.

You knew going back to your place was a big, fat, fucking no. After all, Taehyung and Hyejin were probably celebrating their first grand anniversary together and you didn’t want to be there. No one wanted to witness who they were irrevocably in love with be someone else. It just reminded you of the heartbreak, sadness, and tears all over again. Sighing, you made your way inside, going into Namjoon’s room to retrieve your left over clothes from last time to change into. You didn’t want to be in clothes where Taehyung had left his mark on.

Fortunately for you though, Namjoon had arrived quite early from his date.

“I thought you weren’t going to be here.” You said with a mouth full of mint chocolate ice cream. Even though Namjoon despised that flavor with all the fiber in his body, he still always went out to retrieve some from you.

“I had a feeling you’d be a mess tonight so I brought this,” he said, lifting a recycling bag. His dimples were showcasing, eyes slightly squinted from how cutely he was smiling. “I went grocery shopping so we can make pasta!”

“Oh, well I made your favorite a while ago as well. How about you roll up this—” you brought up the baggy that was filled with weed. “And serves us some wine while I cook the pasta?”

He sighed, hand over heart as he melodramatically said, “Sounds like utter heaven.”

And that’s exactly what happened. He sat across from you, legs crossed with a blunt in his hand as he waited for his pasta to slightly cool down. You were already gone, loving the hazy effect it had on you. Soft music was playing and you were doing okay, but then a particular song came on that made you remember him all over again.

“I don’t know the situation between you and him, but it has you fucked over so badly. I’ve never seen you so head over heels over someone, much less a man.” Namjoon suddenly spoke up after watching you. There were tears already brimming in your eyes as you tried to blink them back.

“If I told you who it was you wouldn’t be this nice to me.” You quietly muttered out, avoiding his curious gaze. But you kept on forgetting who you were talking to after all. Namjoon was always one step ahead of you, he was only giving you space.

“You are my best friend, you idiot.” He fiercely reminded you, arms wrapping around you. “I know you like the back of my hand so whoever it is I know you’re not doing it on purpose to hurt yourself, or anyone else.”

“He’s just different. I don’t know what made me just fall into oblivion for him, but he makes me feel safe, secured, and at home.”

“But?”

You glanced down at your hands, heart aching to the point where you just wanted it to stop. “But he’s not mine, Namjoon. He belongs to someone else, and they are just so in love with each other.”

“It’s Taehyung isn’t it.” He didn’t ask, rather he stated it. At this point you weren’t going to deny it. After all, you were hell bent on not seeing him anymore after today. It was for the best. Your silence however spoke rather than your own words could. Tears were staining your cheeks, a choked up sob escaping from your lips. You hastily covered your mouth with your hands to prevent anymore, eyes screwing shut as the pain coursed through your body.

“C’mere,” Namjoon gestured you towards him and you instantly wrapped yourself around him like a koala. You leaned your head against his chest, your eyes fluttering to a close as he began to rock you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.  You wondered how you had lucked out with finding Namjoon. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t feel and be this safe in his arms. This love you felt for him reminded you of how strong your bond was with him. He’d do anything to protect you just as you would as well. And right now seeing you sob against his chest broke your soulmate apart.

“Love is a bitch, y/n. But one thing I know is that if it’s meant to be, then it’s worth fighting for…the right way that is. Right now I know you feel this intense fervor of love you have for him won’t go away anytime soon, but I promise you it is.  Put some distance between you and him. If you find yourself going back to him, then all I can tell you is to talk to him. Talking does wonders, baby. ”

“It’s easier said than done. Also, Hyejin is my best friend and are you forgetting that Taehyung is still in love with her?”

He remained quiet. If Namjoon voiced out his real thoughts, he was sure he would just ignite the fire within your heart. So he sufficed with just holding you in his arms because this was the support you needed in this moment. You needed someone who could hold you and see through you. He figured Taehyung had dug deep beneath the depths of your secured heart and he wanted nothing than to go and ruin their precious little celebration. Regardless, he just hoped Taehyung was taken out of your life so you could get a whole of yourself again.

After midnight, your phone had begun to ring insistently. You were deep asleep, curled up in his covers as Namjoon stared at your phone. ‘Taehyungieee’ was the name flashing on the screen. Namjoon wondered what he wanted from you. No sane boyfriend would be calling their girlfriend’s best friend this late. He wondered just how you had developed these feelings for him and the answer was staring at him right on the face. The picture it flashed along with his name was you and him. You were on Taehyung’s back, arms lazily wrapped around him as you did bunny ears on him. His eyes were closed, but the huge grin plastered on his face made it evident that he was incredibly happy around you.  

So Namjoon grabbed a hold of your phone and answered the call.

He was already sputtering out nonsense as soon as he answered the call. “I know it’s late, but I need to tell you something. I—I, I did something tonight and the only person who I only want to see in this moment is you. I don’t know what I was thinking, but today just reassured me that you—”

Namjoon was having none of it. “She’s with me, Taehyung.” He sharply cut him off, anger evident in his voice. “So I suggest you to stop playing with her feelings before I personally go over to your place and beat the fuck out of you. I don’t wanna hear any of your bullshit when all you’ve done is hurt her recklessly. Leave her the fuck alone, you don’t deserve her.”

Namjoon hung up. Your phone was tossed somewhere behind him after he deleted the call. He sighed into his hands. Now he knew why. He wondered if Hyejin knew too. He wondered if she was okay because you surely weren’t and you weren’t even his girlfriend. He glanced over at you, wondering when your heartbreak would end.

 A week later, Taehyung had packed up everything and left. And in his wake, he had taken your heart with him too, the red string of your love attached to it, tangling until it was just a huge ball of sorrow.

  And it goes back to now.

It’s him who breaks the silence. You watched as he calmly bent down to drop his bags on the ground and once he stood up again, his dark brown eyes met yours. He seemed hesitant in approaching you at first, but you felt yourself take a step closer to him involuntarily. You honestly could not believe it.

“Taehyung,” you finally acknowledged him, eyes meeting his. The way he gazed at you reminded you of the time in the hallway where he was declaring to you so many beautiful words and you had realized you were fucking in love with him.

He slowly inched closer, his hands twitching at his sides. It was him who took the final step, his arms slowly raising rather tentatively. A flicker of eyes was exchanged between the two of you, almost fleeting. Your fingers were already raising, yearning to touch him because you just had to make sure that this was real. However, the second his hands met your skin, reality had set in. Eyes widened, breathing had halted, and Taehyung’s arms were pulling you into his embrace so desperately. You practically lunged yourself at him, all teary eyed and with quivering lips spilling his name.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” he breathed out, his hot breath raising goosebumps all over your body. “And I missed you so much.” He whispered it out, but you heard it so loud and fucking clear. You dug your face into the crook of his neck, hands inches away from the nape of his hair that had gotten longer. Your side was curled up into his, eyes closed to keep the feeling of this moment engraved in your heart.

His hand was placed at the back of your head, keeping you in place in his arms. Your fingers dug into his skin, your mind trying to wrap around the idea that he was indeed here. He was here, and you were finally in his arms once again. His arms were strongly wrapped around your body, pulling you flush against him. His scent was everywhere. It was invading your senses, your way of thinking, and reigniting those feelings that you tried to burn away. Everything was just bubbling up inside and now you had to worry about waiting for it to burst once again.

Your Taehyung was back.

You felt his hand slowly travel down your spine, his fingers tracing every curve of your body before enveloping you in such a tight, vice grip. You could hardly breathe and you didn’t know if it was due to the excitement, or because he was just holding you so close to him so tightly. The beating of his heart was erratic against your chest and you inhaled his scent, not fully believing that he was finally back after such a long period of time.

“You have no idea just how much I wanted to come back every time you came into my mind.”

And then your clouded, foggy mind soon returned all the sorrow, heartbreak, and tears you had suffered all at once. That brief happiness of seeing him, of being reunited with him, and having him hold you like this would never fill up the hole he had dug out of your heart.

“I’m sure you did,” you bitterly bit out at him, remembering the shit he had put you through. No matter how comfortable you felt being in his arms again, you were already pulling away from him. “That definitely seemed like it when you just left and didn’t say anything to me, or anyone for a fact.”

It was too much. Just two years ago he had walked into your life, made you feel butterflies and heartbreak all at once. Two years ago, he had begun dating your best friend and all you could do was play along, pushing a side your own feelings. A year ago, he broke your best friend’s heart and yours simultaneously. And now, he’s back.

“I’m sorry,” his eyes were deeply filled with concern. Those hands gently framed your face, his thumb wiping away a tear that had fallen. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”

You just shook your head and laughed a little at the situation you were in. He was pulling you back into his embrace but you just removed his hands from you. He wasn’t allowing you think again. Snapping out of your trance you snarled out, “Just stop! Stop touching me and let me go.”

Taehyung seemed as he had been punched. His grip on you weakened automatically, eyes shining with turmoil trapped in them.

“I’m leaving,” you mustered out, avoiding his gaze once again. You knew if you glanced into those eyes you were going to turn into putty and run back to him like nothing. That was something you didn’t need right now. He couldn’t just prance back into your life without facing the consequences.

“Hey,” he started, his voice filled with despair and urgency. “Please wait, please,” he pleaded and you shook your head, trying to clear his voice from your mind. His hand intertwined with yours, tugging you back to him.

Your eyes widened at the feeling of his fingers interlocking with yours. If you could kiss him right now, you would. Every inch of your body was yearning to pull him and just kiss him because no amount of words would ever put it through your heart just how much you adored this man.

“I’m sorry I left like that, but I’m back now and I want to make things right, okay?” He tried resonating with you, but you figured moving on was the only way to keep you and your poor, fragile heart safe. “Here isn’t the place to talk, but please give me a chance to come back into your life again and explain why I left like that.”

You slowly disentangled your fingers from him and Taehyung faltered. You just grabbed your bags and said, “I can’t let you back into my life, not when it was so hard to let you go when you left me behind so easily.”

 And with that said, Taehyung let you go.

 —-

 Tears spilled down your cheeks, and you knew your eyes were red and swollen, but you hadn’t felt any sort of emotion since he pranced into your life minutes ago. You were a blank canvas, but somehow Taehyung always managed to get you so beautifully painted with the brightest and warmest colors you could ever think of. Streaks of blues, purple, pinkish, orange and yellows hues adorned and blossomed from your soul, evolving as each day passed. All of these colors reminded you of how it felt to be around his presence. Of how it felt to slowly and all at once fall in love with a person.

“What’s wrong with you?” Hyejin murmured out, her arms were wrapped around you. She was leaning her head on your shoulder, eyes curiously gazing at you with worry. “I haven’t seen you this sad since last year.”

A bittersweet smile edged your lips. Of course destiny was cruel. To fall for a man who wasn’t, couldn’t, and still wouldn’t be yours. To be fair, falling for Taehyung came unexpectedly, but yet again everything with him was unexpected and beautiful in a sense that reminded you that you were alive and could feel.

“I’m fine, just tired,” you mumbled out, trying to not let your emotions get the better of you. How could you explain to her that the reason you were crumbling once again was due to the man who broke her heart on the day of their anniversary? 

The day they broke up Hyejin was enthusiastically telling you about how passionate and fulfilling that night was going to be so you spent the night at Namjoon’s again, trying to drown yourself with weed and food. The next day you found your best friend on the couch with makeup stains and the smell of alcohol oozing from her. She never really told you what went down that night but for a while your relationship with her had been strained. There were days where it was just silent. She wouldn’t face you, or even talk to you until a couple weeks passed by. The mentioning of Kim Taehyung was forbidden in the household you both shared together. That unspoken rule was what made everything okay between the two of you again.

“I’ll be back later if Namjoon cancels—”

“No,” you waved her off. “Go and enjoy your weird date with him. I just saw this stupid drama and it has me in my feelings. I’ll be fine. I’ll call Wheein later and see if she wants to get drunk together.”

“Yeah,” She said, grabbing a hold of her purse with a semi disgusted look on her face. “I definitely don’t wanna be here to see that go down like last time.”

“Have fun with Joonie! Tell that moron that I found my Nintendo 64 the other day!”

“He’s going to feel relieved that he didn’t actually break it, or misplaced it as you accused him of.” She narrowed her eyes at you and you simply glanced down at your phone, feeling attacked right now.

“To be fair it wouldn’t be the first time so leaveee me aloneee,” you whined out and Hyejin just shook her head.

“I’ll be back for dinner tomorrow so don’t go anywhere! I’m buying Chinese takeout tomorrow.”

“I’ll be here as long as you buy me food.” You dryly replied, being genuinely honest.

She smiled cutely, waving her finger at you quite adoringly in response. “Done.”

You felt like a proud mother watching her child go into her first day of school since Hyejin was enthusiastically waving at you. She was quick to tell you she loved you before she skipped out the door. A tiny smile managed to make its way on your face. You figured she’d be back in less than five minutes though since she tended to be forgetful at times. As in cue, the doorbell rang and you sighed.

“I asked you if you had your fucking keys and you—” your eyes met with the figure who was not in fact your best friend.

You almost screamed, but conformed to a whisper. “Taehyung?”

Upon seeing him, you immediately stumbled over your feet as you tried to close the door again. Taehyung’s response seemed out of reflex. His arms were already wrapping around you, catching you in seconds before your face could connect with the lovely ground. He held you protectively against his side, his eyes taking in your expression as you glanced up at him in shock.

“I see you haven’t changed one bit.” He retorteed, his voice echoing throughout the hallway corridor. You had forgotten the sound of his voice until you saw him again, and now he was standing outside of your apartment…with his arms around you.

“Hyejin isn’t here.” Your mouth automatically told him. It was always that fucking sentence. Every time he would come over Hyejin would already be at work, or out with her friends, or even going to his place. Taehyung was always at your place though, with or without her in the apartment.

He scoffed, and then began to softly laugh upon seeing your confused expression. “I’m not here for her.”

Oh. Your eyes widened at that. Oh.  His arms had gotten bulkier, his frame broader and you hated that you noticed that within the seconds that he was holding you. You gained footing again and pushed yourself out of his arms, backtracking into your apartment to refrain your dumb self from saying anything stupid.

“I went over to your old apartment last night, but instead I got met with an eccentric Chinese couple.”

You snorted, biting back a venomous retort. “I’m sure you had fun being introduced to their classic rock collection, eh?”

He was watching you, taking your reaction towards him as he carefully spoke. “That and they invited me over to dinner tomorrow since I was so charming in their eyes.”

Your mouth was set on a thin line, expression impassive. “You won’t look so charming once my fist connects with your face if you don’t tell me what you’re doing here.”

Despite that threatening comment, he grinned. “You’ve always been all bark so I highly doubt you’ll do that.”

He was right on that, but the anger you had stored inside you would beg to differ in this case. 

“I’m not here to fight though,” he quickly spoke, noting how you were seconds away from slamming the door on his face right now. “I’m here to say that no amount of words will ever take back what I did to you. I know what I did was unfair to you in every way and I’ll understand if you don’t want me back in your life. But let me tell you something y/n, during that time that I was gone I did a lot of self-thinking and it all led me back to you. The first thing I did once I stepped foot in this country was look for you, which is why I’m here. I’m sorry for leaving like that, for not explaining myself, and for hurting you the way I did.”

“You idiot,” you quietly uttered out before becoming more vocal once the anger seeped in. “I-I, how dare you try to prance into my life like nothing and think that an apology is going to fix everything? You were my person, Taehyung. You broke my heart once I realized that you had left and you weren’t coming back. For a year, I wondered what happened that made you leave me like that and—and—”

You felt your throat begin to burn as tears blurred your eyesight. Damn it. Hold yourself together.

“y/n...”

“You know what?” you sucked in air and blinked back the tears. “I wish you the best in life, but what you did I will never forgive you for.”

You slammed the door in his face with all the force in your body, causing the door to shake. It echoed through your apartment and you couldn’t hear him over the roaring waves of anger that clouded your senses overall. Despite you being so livid, the other part of you wanted nothing more than to open the door and let him inside once again. You knew what side could overpower the other one the moment you could clearly hear him once again.

“y/n, I’m sorry,” his voice cracked and you screwed your eyes shut, fingers curling into the palm of your hand. “Please,” he continued, twisting your heart more. “I’m not asking for forgiveness. I just don’t want to lose you. It was a hell of a year without having you constantly by my side.”

“Liar,” you instantly called his bluff.

You slowly approached the door, hand outstretched towards the door handle. Taehyung was outside your door, it wasn’t a dream anymore that you could wake up from. He was just a few feet away with a barrier between the two of you once again. And then your hand went limp besides your body, eyes screwing to a shut as you tried to allow your brain to do the thinking instead of your heart. Sighing, you simply leaned your forehead against the wooden floor, wanting nothing more than to have his arms around you.

Silence.

You wondered if he had given up and left.

“I’m going to wait here until you decide to open the door.” Nope, he hadn’t.

“I’ll call security.” You immediately bit out and all you heard was a quiet chuckled.

Out of gnawing curiosity, you watched through the peephole as he slid down and sat criss crossed facing your door. His phone sat next to him, faced down. He was simply gazing at your door now, not moving an inch.

“I’ll be waiting.”

You deliberately screamed at yourself to leave him there. You pried your fingers from the door handle, reprimanding yourself over being so incredibly stupid. So instead you occupied yourself with trying to clean, organize, and even fucking cook. But everywhere you went was full of memories of you and him. Despite you moving away from your old apartment, you still had the same couch where you both sat across each other, throwing popcorn, gummy bears, and m&m’s at each other’s mouths. The bed sheets where he had accidentally fallen asleep while you were running your fingers through his hair, listening to him talk about his shitty day at work. The pillows you both had initiated a pillow fight with at three am in the morning. The wine glasses of that summer night where you and he spent hours talking about everything and anything. Even now as you filled up a glass of water to pour it into the pot reminded you of how he would volunteer to help you cook.

“Here, let me just—” he leaned over you, his shirt raising above his belly button as he reached over to grab the glasses for sweet tea. Your eyes flickered over to his exposed skin and the urge to trace your fingers down his abdomen was so immensely strong that it frightened you completely. You felt heat warm up your cheeks as you decided to glance away from his glowing skin and rather turn your eyes towards him. But Taehyung’s gaze was already on you, glasses already in hand.

The proximity between the two of you was numbing to the heart and brain. He was so incredibly close, to the point where you could see the color of his irises. In that moment, your favorite color had gone from yellow to brown in seconds. He was trapping you in, body touching yours. His warmth envelope you and you swore you could count those pretty lashes on his eyes and you would not get tired of it. His eyes flickered down to your lips and you knew you weren’t breathing at this point.

“Strange,” he suddenly cleared his throat, and took a step away from you. He turned away from you and you took in a deep and necessary breath.

“What?” you uttered out, slightly ashamed. He caught you staring and was probably disgusted by you now. Even you were bemused at your sudden urge that hadn’t been there before. What the fuck was going on?

He turned to face you, seeming a bit struck himself. “I suddenly have the urge to paint.”

“Really?” you broke out into a smile, forgetting the moment all together. “Dude, that’s great!”

His awe was transparent as he warmly smiled back at you. “It really is.”

That night you realized Taehyung had begun to sneak his way into your heart. The first ever color to be tentatively painted on the canvas of your heart was the color brown.

 “Can you believe Taehyung has been ignoring me for the past few days?” Hyejin began to ramble on quite angrily. “So you know what I did the other day? I went over his place and he was inside this weird room, locked inside. He came out with paint all over him and proceeded to kick me out of his apartment, claiming he was too tired and busy.”

You continued writing down your notes, trying to stay focus on your assignment.

“…something about finally getting his fucking muse and whatnot. He was telling me about his drought the other night, but I think I fell asleep on him. However, what the fuck? It’s been almost a week now and he’s not even answering my c—”

She suddenly got a phone call and you thanked your lucky stars. Judging from the disappointed look in her face, it was clearly not Taehyung. She still answered the call and finally left you alone in peace.

From: Taehyungieee

I just finished my first ever painting since two years ago

   The cup of water suddenly slipped from your numb fingers and crashed all over the floor. It was a rude and uncalled awakening call for sure.

“Shit,” you said, immediately grabbing a hold of the broom to clean the mess up.

“Are you okay?”

And there he was: the rude, uncalled awakening call. It was startling you awake again, but did you really want to wake up? You’ve been asleep all this time, waiting with your broken heart at the palm of your hands. Did you really want to wake up just to have it punched, twisted, and hell bent over again?

“y/n, I need to know if you’re okay or—”

“I’m fine,” you croaked out, eyes watering. You were obviously not fine. And you weren’t going to be as long as he sat outside your fucking door. The anxiety of Hyejin coming back and seeing him suddenly struck a nerve. How would she react to him coming back after so long? You were barely hanging on right now. You even sat down beside the pile of broken glass, head leaning back against the cabinet. You ignored the pile you had amounted, waiting to be pricked by now.

As long as you were in love with him, you knew it was going to stir everything up in your life once again. You knew him coming back was something that you did not plan for. You weren’t the slightest prepared and it frightened you. The last time you were unprepared you fell deeply in love with a man who was not yours to keep.

It was past midnight when you decided to just see if he was still outside. The temptation of sliding him a plate of food was incredibly strong, but you held out. Now as you peered out the peephole you realized he was cold. He had his arms wrapped around his body and was slightly shivering. The best of part of you grabbed a hold of you and you grabbed a hold of your favorite blanket and rather quietly and slowly you opened the door. You found him resting against the edge of the door frame, sleeping. With light steps, you approached his sleeping figure before taking a seat next to him. You wrapped your blanket around him and yourself. With a poke to his cheek, you secured yourself that he was indeed passed out since he didn’t even flinch or stir. The silence welcomed you, bringing you so much peace as you quietly heard Taehyung’s breathing. It was in that moment of weakness that you momentarily allowed yourself to lean your head against his shoulder. 

He was back.

Taehyung.

Your mouth was already spilling your contained secrets.

“The only reason why I’m here is because I still love you, Taehyung.” You whispered it out, your fingers tenderly brushing away the bangs from his eyes. “I don’t think I ever stopped, or will if I’m being honest.”

You figured he was dead asleep so it wouldn’t matter.

And he was sound asleep. But as you glanced up at him, gathering each and every detail from his pretty face, you realized just how much you had missed him. There were nights where you would scribble away your heart out on a piece of paper in search for him. Tears were documented on those pages and your feelings were a mesh of words that only he could bring out of you. Kim Taehyung had definitely left a wound in your heart and now here he was beside you sound asleep, quickly patching it up and healing it with just his mere presence. God, you were an absolute idiot.

You stayed there with him for who knows long until he started moving. It was then that you instantly ripped yourself away from him and stood up in time for him to flutter his eyes open. A loud ass yawn emitted from his lips and he looked disoriented before his brown eyes landed on you.

“y/n,” he rasped out, immediately sitting up once again. His legs were wrapped up in your blanket and you watched how he realized he even had it in the first place. His fingers tentatively curled around it, tugging it closer to his body.

He wasn’t looking at you as he spoke up, sounding incredibly tired. “Do you want me to leave?”

Yes. Yes, was what you meant to fucking say.

You were gazing ahead of you, not turning towards him as you replied heavily, “No.”

Taehyung was immensely surprised and shocked. You were sure he was expecting you to kick him out for good once and for all like you should, but then he softly replied, “Okay.”

“It’s cold.” You quietly told him, already beginning to walk inside your apartment again. “Come inside.”

He trudged in behind you rather quietly, hands still curled around the blanket. You led him into the kitchen, pouring him a hot cup of green tea so he could drink. Alongside stood a plate full of food that had been obviously warmed up. Whatever he was thinking though, he didn’t utter a word out. His eyes didn’t meet yours. They were too focused on the steaming mug of tea and food.

“Drink this,” you said as you passed him the mug, your eyes flickering away from his intense gaze now. “You’re more than welcome to take the couch. My bathroom is down the hall to the right if you need it. And I want you out of here before 10 in the morning the latest.”

The way you spoke was monotone, firm, and was nothing compared to the sweet, kind hearted person Taehyung knew so well.

“Noted.”

You both finally met each other’s eyes. You held his gaze, hoping that in some way all your pain, tears, and heartbreak could be transferred so he would know how you felt for so long. Maybe then he would know the damaged he had done to you inside and out. However, that did not happen. Instead you felt your gaze blur, hands beginning to tremble from just how hurt you were so inside. You glanced away, shoving past him.

You didn’t turn around to notice the way his saddened gaze followed you all the way until you trapped yourself between another set of four walls, away from him.

It was four am.

You couldn’t fall asleep.

Your bed sheets were just not lulling you to sleep at this point. You were curled up on one side of your bed, hugging your pillow into your body for comfort. You laid there, feeling so empty and with so much emotion all at once. Your brain couldn’t exactly grasp it. Taehyung was literally down the fucking hall from you. He was just a few steps away from you. A few steps from wrapping his arms around you and making you feel like home once again.

A soft but rather small smile appeared on your face. At least he was safe and healthy. He looked so much better, glowing even. You then wondered how you looked. Did you look as you felt? Did he not hurt the way you did? Probably not.You sat up, legs already swinging off your bed. You were bound to drink some medicine so it could knock you out to the point where you’d wish you’d wake up with him already gone. You were already opening the door, ready to step out when you met Taehyung already outside your door, hand curled into a fist midair. 

“I—I fuck,” He sputtered out, hand falling beside his side. “I didn’t know you were awake.“

“Did you expect me to sleep soundly, Taehyung?” you genuinely prompted, the anger quickly igniting inside of you. Your voice was incredibly sweet, but dripping of venom. “Did you expect me to fall asleep so easily? Is that how you slept while you were away this time? Without a care in this fucking world? Liberated and running away like the coward you were and still are?”

Taehyung did not respond. His eyes had become watery as he barely spoke up, “I know what I did was shitty. I know what I did hurt you beyond believe. I can’t express just how much I was hurting too, okay? You think leaving was easy? You think being away from you was ever easy?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you finally spat out, causing him to flinch. “Don’t you fucking compare your pain to mine. You left without saying anything to me. You left nothing, nothing. Not even a single note, letter, or anything. And you left me wondering, stupidly worrying over you, but you obviously didn’t give a fuck. Instead you were living life in Venice ever so graciously.”

He was shaking his head to every word you were saying, disbelief written all over his features. “What do you mean, I didn’t give a fuck? Are you fucking blind, y/n? Did you honestly not know just how much you meant to me, and still do? For fucks sakes, I’m standing here, trying to apologize to you when I could be fucking other bitches, or even forgetting completely about you. So what the fuck do you mean by me not giving a fuck about you? And you’re pulling up Venice?”

His eyebrows were furrowing, trying to follow along. “You knew about me all this time? And you didn’t even try to at least contact me?””

“A friend of mine bought your painting and I recognized it the moment I saw it. And how could I after what she told me?” you bitted out, boring holes into him by now. “The world renowned artist, Kim Taehyung, an indie artist who lives in Venice. Happily living his life away with fucking bitches and enjoying his newfound wealth.” You recited the exact same thing Wheein had told you in her precise words.

She had burned the painting in front of you afterwards.

Taehyung simply scoffed and then began shaking his head in annoyance. “The Venice part is true, but in no moment did I ever touch anyone else that wasn’t you.”

“Stop,” you instantly warned him, his words becoming more of a blow that for some reason instead of consoling you it just kept adding to the flame inside your soul. “Stop saying things like that to me.”

“It’s true though,” he desperately urged out, sounding frustrated now. He ran his hands down his face, groaning as you seemed to be distancing yourself each time he opened his mouth. “Never once did I fuck anyone while I was over there. You wanna know why? Because my certain muse was waiting back home for me.”

“Fuck you!” you finally snapped, shoving him away from your entrance. “You don’t get to say shit like that when your actions prove you otherwise. Do you not see how you left me? I am here standing in front of you crying because I am a pathetic ass person who cared too much over someone who didn’t give a single fuck about me!”

His jaw ticked, seeming impassive and you fucking detested that. He never once showed an ounce of emotion and it always made you feel incredibly stupid. This time however, Taehyung finally snapped. “Don’t you fucking dare say I never gave a shit about you when I did. I showed you countless of times just how much you meant to me. For fucks sakes, I painted you so many times!”

He finally exploded, yelling back at you now. “Could you not fucking see it? How insane I was when you came into my life? You want prove?”

“No, what I want—”

“What?” He barked out and you bit the inside of your cheek, restraining yourself from physically assaulting him.

So you resonated with hurting him verbally instead. “I want you out of my life.” You decided, trying to convince yourself with that too.

“You sure you want that?” He challenged you and you were taken back by his assertiveness. It only infuriated you even more. Your fingers were curling up inside your palm, nails digging into your skin. The pain felt numbing compared to the bubbling hatred you were feeling inside. “If so, just say it straight to my face.”

Before you could control yourself, your fingers were fisting his shirt, crumpling it up as you brought him closer to you. He stumbled over, hand flying over to hold on to the doorway entry to stop himself from crushing you. You slowly gritted out with such defiance, “I. Want. You. Out. Of. My. Life.

By the time you were done uttering the last word out, your voice had begun to shake. Your fingers had loosen a hold of him and you felt utterly defenseless.

He leaned into you, getting on eye level, and lowly bit out, “And actually mean it.”

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Sev—

“Get out and never fucking come back into my life!” you exploded, yelling at him now. You were quick in releasing him and shoving him away from you. “Get out!”

He stood there, without saying a single word. 

“Get out of my fucking apartment, out of my life, and out of my existence.”

“But I don’t want to,” his voice cracked and you halted, your throat feeling on fire from how hard it was to not cry in front of him. “I don’t want you to give up on me when I am standing right here, ready to give you everything and much more. I am standing here, and I am not leaving until your hatred for me goes away.”

What did he mean by that? What the hell was going on?

His hair was a mess from letting his fingers tug at it and just the sound of his broken and desperate voice was making you crumble all over again. “I don’t want to leave when it’s been a hell of a fucking year not having you around me, not seeing you smile over the dumbest of things, and not being able to hold you. It’s killing me, y/n.”

Tears were already spilling down your cheeks before you could stop them. With the sleeve of your shirt, you hastily wiped them away from your face since you were not going to let him see you cry. But he was right there, and he was back. He was back after such a long time and he was right there.

“I hate you for making me feel this way,” you sobbed out, finally breaking. Your shaking hands tugged at the strands of your hair in utter devastation. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you. I hate you so much Kim Taehyung. I hate you. I HATE YOU!”

Each word felt like a needle pricking into his heart, but seeing you break down like that? Taehyung wanted nothing but to beat the fuck out of himself as well.

“I am so sorry.” Tears were streaming down his face, he seemed at lost for words. “I am so fucking sorry.”

You both were unconsciously edging closer. As you were screaming at him how much you hated him, he was nearing you, his cries of  ‘I am so sorry’ contradicting yours. His hands tentatively framed your face, foreheads pressed against each other’s as you sobbed.  He was so careful in touching you. You felt his fingertips ghost your face so gently, the pad of his fingers wiping your tears away as he brokenly croaked out, “I hate myself for making you cry. I hate myself for leaving you like that, and I will continue to hate myself as long as you cry over me because I don’t deserve your tears, y/n.”

“Just—” you hiccupped, hands encasing over his. Your grip on him tightened, eyesight blurred and throat burning. “Just hold me, Taehyung.”

“Please, j-just hold me,” you sobbed out and Taehyung was wrapping his arms around you before you could finish that sentence. His hands were encasing your head, his mouth on your hair as he tried his best to mend you back into the person you were before he came into your life.

All your pain, hurt, and heartbreak had seeped into his veins. His own feelings had intensified and seeing you break down like that was enough to render him straight down on to his knees.  Being in Venice was hell. He was alone and his thoughts were constantly full of you and only you. There were times where he impulsively would try and run back into your arms, but he stubbornly reminded himself that you were better off without him. Seeing you now with your face dug into the crook of his neck, fingers digging into his clothes, he realized just how fucking wrong he had been.

Your feelings were as evident as ever and he blamed fate for separating you both like that.

“I’m sorry,” he held you close to him, whispering it until it was engraved in your mind. “Please forgive me, I’m so sorry. Give me a chance, give me a chance to prove just how much you mean to me. Please, just one. And if that doesn’t work, then I’ll let you go.”

You sighed, you were too drained. You felt completely exhausted, but Taehyung was running his fingers through your hair, still apologizing to you with tears in his eyes. At one point the both of you had slid down against the wall together. His hold on you would not loosen and by now you were resting your head against his chest, his breathing luring you to sleep as each minute passed. You were sitting in between his legs, eyes fluttering to a close.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he continued, sniffling. “I never meant to hurt you, please know that. Please, please know that none of this was intentional. I—, I, lo—”

“Okay,” you mumbled out, tilting your head back against his chest to glance at him. He glanced down, lips centimeters away from yours but you didn’t falter. “One chance. One chance to prove to me that all of what you’re saying is true. Actions tend to speak louder than words, Taehyung.”

“Okay, okay,” he was quick to agree. “One chance is all I need. And I’ll prove it to you, okay? Not for me, but for you.”

You returned back to your original position. You made yourself comfortable in his arms, eyes finally closing. A soft plead left your lips, “Are you going to leave in the morning?”

“Not unless you kick me out.”

You were out like a light after that.

 Hours later with the sun peeking in through the window sliding doors, you slowly stirred yourself awake. As you began to blink yourself fully awake, you realized you were no longer on the hallway floor, but on your bed. And Taehyung was beside you, hot breathing fanning the back of your neck. His arms were not only wrapped around you, curling you further into his own warmth, but his fingers had intertwined with yours as well. Never in your dreams, would you have imagined the day you’d wake up and realize you were still in Taehyung’s arms.

He didn’t leave.

He didn’t, but you needed to. It was almost noon and you knew your best friend would come barging in through that door in an hour or so. You heard him softly exhale, fingers twitching in your hold. He was waking up. You immediately closed your eyes, relaxed more into him, and evened out your breathing.

“I won’t fail you again.” He whispered out, fingers slowly pulling away from yours. You had your heart lodged in your throat, feeling him pull away. It was seconds later when you felt his fingers tracing yours, trailing up your arm, and then going back down. His touch must work wonders since you were lulled back to sleep in seconds. The second time you woke, he was gone. A note was messily written on your night stand and just as you were about to read it, Hyejin barged into your room.

“You deadass just woke up now? It’s two in the afternoon!”

You curled the note underneath your hand, your eyes zooming in on the jacket behind her. It was Taehyung’s jacket. Did he leave it behind? Will Hyejin turn around and recognize it?

“Y-Yeah,” you stammered out, screwing your eyes shut at being so damn obvious. “I- I think I smoked a little bit too much last night.”

“Well, hydrate yourself then.” She reprimanded, seeming worried now. “I’ll serve you some water, okay? Also, Joonie is out there and he brought us lunch!”

Oh fuck. Not only was she here, but Namjoon as well? You waited for her to leave your room until you uncurled the note.

‘I’m in your closet’

“Taehyung,” you gasped out and quickly ran over to your closet. You pulled the door open and saw him sitting there, playing Overwatch on his damn phone.

“I was going to wake you when I heard them, but then I heard her calling your name so I had a few seconds before I could write that and get in here,” he  sheepishly admitted and you found yourself grinning like an idiot at him despite everything.

He hadn’t left.

“I can give you a five minute window for you to make it out through the door. You’re going to have to be really fucking quick.”

“Damn it, y/n.” He began to then crawl out of the closet, mumbling nonsense into the air. “Okay, but before we do all of this, can you come over to my place tonight?” He was standing down, towering over you slightly.

“That quick?” you dryly humored out and Taehyung bit down on his bottom lip.

His next sentence was what did it for you. “You said I have one chance. It’s been 393 days since we’ve last seen each other and I’m not going to waste any more time between us.”

Your gaze met his. “I’ll text you when I’m there.”

Getting him out of there wasn’t exactly easy. You gathered Namjoon and Hyejin into her room, slamming the door shut behind you. How did you even manage to get them in the same room? Well you accused Namjoon of stealing your favorite chips and went over to complain to Hyejin who was already in her room.

“I did not touch your fucking chips,” he continued to defend himself, eyes narrowing. “This is called defamation and I will sue you, you nimrod.”

“This is called defamation and I will sue you,” you openly mocked him, knowing this would grate his nerves.

“You little—”

“You see!” you extended your arm, wiggling your finger at Namjoon as Hyejin seemed utterly done with the both of you. “He called me a bitch! Tell your boyfriend to stop stealing my food and calling me degrading names.”

“I did not call you a bitch.”

“Whatever,” you waved him off.

“Did smoking too much bud suddenly shorten the two brain cells you still had left?” He retorted, his index finger tapping the side of your head. “Hellooo, I know you’re already working hard, but can you try a little bit more?”

With slit eyes you slowly began approaching him. “I will castrate you in your sleep and choke you with your own—”

“Hey, hey!” Hyejin tried cutting in between the two of you.

“You’re on your period, right? That’s why you’re acting bitchier than usual.”

“Woah, woah!” Hyejin interrupted, a scowl placed on her lips. “Did you just pull that fucking card with two women in the room?”

Namjoon sighed, seeming utterly irritated, “I forgot what happens when thing number one joins thing number two.”

“You’re on fucking time out, Kim Namjoon.”

The five minute mark had passed.

“It’s okay.” You waved at them, but they were too busy debating between the two of them now. “I just remembered I ate them last night while I was high as fuck, whoops!”

It’s not like they heard you since they had begun bickering. Namjoon was actually sitting in the corner, face against the wall as they both tried to throw their opinions at each other. Without saying anything, you tiptoed your way out of there. Now all you needed was time to get ready for what was about happen tonight.

  -------

On the way to his new apartment, you wondered what would be the end of this story. Would you finally move on and leave? Would you finally be able to forget Kim Taehyung? You entered his penthouse, eyeing the place wearily as you made your way inside the low dimmed place. You then came to a slow stop once you came into view of the living room.

Paintings. You were surrounded by paintings of you.

From portraits, to abstract paintings, and even old sketches. El Museum de Amor was what it was written so intricately right on the center of his new wall. Judging by the new glamorous penthouse, you knew that it was him who wrote it. Your eyes brimmed with tears, an incredulous laugh emitting from your lips. Your trembling hand cupped your mouth in awe and utter shock. You were in utter disbelief since there was no way Taehyung had kept these hidden for so long. Each painting differed from one another, but one thing for sure was that his colors never did. He painted you with purples, pinks, blues, yellows, and a mixture of brown colors, enhancing you with the most beautiful, pastel colors.

Paintings of you doing daily, tribal things surrounded you, and you could tell they were old. Some included you with delicately made flowers surrounding you, enhancing the beauty that you never knew he saw in you. You traced the portrait, his emotions coming to life in your eyes after so long of waiting. It was as if you were seeing yourself through his eyes and all you saw was love. One thing that you noticed was how Taehyung had managed to beautifully shade in the stars in every single one of his paintings of you.

You are you’re own entity. You shine so brightly, silly. 

“I not only fell in love with you,” Taehyung spoke up, coming into view now. “But I fell irrevocably in love with painting you.”

You flipped a painting over, hands still shaking.

My muse, Silly.

It reminded you of the interview Wheein had showed you and Hyejin, which then proceeded by them two burning the painting together. Watching them set it on fire, tore you completely apart. Wheein was holding the painting as Hyejin held the lighter in her hand. You felt like an outsider just awaiting for the destruction that was about to commence. Hyejin lividly poured gasoline on it, screaming at an inanimate object until the tank was completely empty. Then she set it on fire and you could see the glimmer in her eyes as she watched it crumble beneath her fingertips.

 “Who is this mystery person?”

“Someone who I’ve tried to forget.”

“She must be very special then, since you know, to have the famous Vante painting her so intimately and beautifully.”

Taehyung was turned towards the screen, a saddened spark in his eyes.

“She is indeed. She was and still is my only muse and inspiration.”

 “I hated you for leaving me like that,” you suddenly told him, turning to face him. He was already behind you and you were ready to step into what was Kim Taehyung as a person. But first, there were still some questions unanswered. “Hyejin told me you both broke up and then when I went to see how you were doing you had packed up your bags and left.”

He was frowning now, eyes blazed. “I went to say goodbye to you but Hyejin told me you had gone out of town.”

“Well yeah,” you frowned, finding it all weird. “I left Sunday.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I went Friday.”

“We weren’t exactly on speaking terms when you left.” You clarified, still finding everything so uncorrelated and coming to terms at the same time.

“Fuck,” he swore underneath his breath. “Did you receive what I left there for you?”

“No?”

“It was the painting you left that day. I got it back the next day, you know, after Namjoon answered your phone that night.”

It was your turn to look in disbelief, “What?”

“The night that I broke up with Hyejin I called you and Namjoon answered.”

You began shaking your head, finding everything so confusing. “But, but there was no call from you that n—”

“I called you that night to tell you that I was in love with you.”

Oh fuck.

“The reason we broke up that same night was not necessarily because I wasn’t the same person when we met, but I had fallen in love with someone else.”

Staring at all the delicate and intricate paintings, you began to feel all of your questions being answered. The timing between the two of you was just incredibly fucked up.

“And rather than leading this relationship on, I was honest with her and that’s that. I broke up with her because the thought of not being with you was suffocating me so fucking much.”

You were blinking back tears, feeling so distraught by how much shit you both had been through because of the timing and uncertain events.

“So tell me why it took us this long to get to here then?” you said, sounding so heartbroken. “Tell me why in my dreams was the only way I could get to hear you say that you loved me?”

Everything was a mess, but here you both were. Taehyung was standing here in front of you, asking for another chance and here you were ready to give it to him. You were ready to dive back into him, hoping that this time you wouldn’t end up with a heart broken into bits of pieces. You were ready to fall even more in love with him. You knew it was possible.

“I love you,” he breathed out against your mouth, hands becoming firm on your hips now. There it was, the confirmation you’ve been desperately waiting for. His whole body was pressed against yours and your mind was racing as his eyes met yours.

“I am so stupidly and blindingly in love with you. It’s you who I’ve been trying to forget, but I can’t. No matter how hard I try to forget you, to forget the way you smiled at me, how your body was made for me, and how incredibly beautiful you are inside and out. I just fucking can’t.”

I love you.

“The reason why I left? I left because I was in love with you, y/n. I was in love with someone who I didn’t deserve. Someone who I have hurt so much in the process while I was with someone who I never truly loved. And I figured disappearing from your life would be better, but I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did. I thought that doing this was going to be good for you and you’d be able to finally be happy.”

“Why?” you demanded, pushing him away from you. “Why couldn’t you have just talked to me like a normal human being instead of leaving this country and erasing yourself from my life like that? What the fuck were you thinking Taehyung?” your voice cracked, but the anger inside of you was finally dripping from your fingertips. 

“Do you have any idea how it felt to be in love with someone who wasn’t mine? To watch you with my best friend wishing that it was me in your arms instead of her? And then you leaving like that? Make me happy?” you scoffed. “Taehyung I was lost for so long and it’s not fair. You don’t get to decide what’s good for me. I get to decide that and if I strongly believe that it’s you, then it’s going to be fucking you.”

“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.” He slowly breathed out, inching closer to you now. “To—” he paused, tentative hands slowly inching closer to your face.

The pad of his fingers softly graced your face, awaiting your reaction before softly whispering, “To touch you like this.”

“Then do it Tae,” you whispered it out, hands cupping his face to have him closer to you. You softly brushed your lips against his, eyes fluttering to a close. “Please.”

His eyes glanced into yours before slowly fluttering to a close. Mouth softly molded against yours, his lips being tentative at first. But as Taehyung slowly kissed you, his hands wandered down your sides, carefully beginning to touch every curve of your body. Your heart soared as your lips heaved a gentle sigh into his mouth. You hadn’t felt so much emotion being put into a kiss, but yet again this was the man you were so in love with. His lips were tender and rendering you down so quickly, making your legs turn to mush and jelly all at once. It was slow and gentle, everything you ever hoped it would be with him. And then he abruptly pulled away from you, touch and sensation leaving with him.

There was a pause between the both of you as you both struggled to get a grip of one another. Something about the air was different as fleeting glances passed between the two of you. All you could do was stare intensely back at him as you both breathed in each other’s air from the proximity. And then as Taehyung gazed into your eyes with such fervor intensity, something clicked between the two of you.  Soul, heart, and passion vibrated throughout your body at the sensation of his touch because he was everywhere all at once. His fingers were already tangling themselves into your hair, tugging insistently as his mouth roughly met yours. Mouths clashed and pants began to emit from the both of you. A moan slipped past your lips at the sensation of his soft lips because it was finally happening. His cologne invaded your senses, making you even more stupid dizzy for this man.

His mouth missed yours from the excitement and his hot breath fanned against your skin as he nudged his knee between your legs, hoisting you up on his thigh, and pressing you further into him. Your skirt managed to ride up your thigh and Taehyung definitely did not miss the red, lacy thong adorning you so well.

“Much better,” he lowly breathed out against your mouth. You could feel his boxy grin against your lips and then you were kissing him again, melting and molding to his sync in just a few seconds. Soft moans emitted from you, body reacting before your already brain dead self could. You managed to wind up your arms around his neck, fingers pulling at the nape of his hair so desperately. His tongue was already slipping past, mouth sensually sucking down on your bottom lip.

Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung.

Fingers left his hair and instead wandered down his chest, hastily beginning to rip his shirt apart since you needed to feel him. And Taehyung didn’t seem to mind it one bit since his lips never detached from yours as he aided you in those fleeting moments.

“Here, silly,” he mumbled it out against your lips, eyes fluttering to an open. A laugh emitted from his lips upon realizing just how utterly impatient you were in that moment.

He was just so undeniably hot. With his curly hair matted up, swollen pretty lips, white dress shirt ruffled and almost off his body, and the tone of his tan skin glowing under the dim lighting by his candles. This man was effortlessly so beautiful and he just confessed to you about being his fucking muse. You eyed his button up shirt was and hurriedly tugged it down without wasting any more time. You wanted to get to the part where he was pinning you against his mattress and fucking your insides out.

“When you left,” you began and he was nearing you again. Hands framed your face ever so delicately with his pretty adorned silver ring hands. “I wanted to go after you, but you weren’t mine to yearn for.”

“But I was,” he lowly admitted to you with earnest sincerity. He was breathing into you as his lips met yours. “Since the moment I met you, I was already yours.”

His gaze was enough to set your whole soul on fire. Hands felt all tingly, head was dizzy but not from the buzz, and all you wanted at the moment was him. In your mind all that echoed was his name, Taehyung. You felt bewitched as he nudged your nose with his, hot breath fanning your face. You felt his fingers twitch, and with one last glance you simply stood on the tip of your toes, and softly pressed your mouth against his.

You felt him smile against your mouth and that immediately made your heart blossomed. As your hands slowly began to wander up his chest, you felt a soft pink hue being gently stroked against the canvas of your heart. It was light and sincere and tentative. And as Taehyung deepened the kiss, that soft pink darkened.

All thoughts were wiped free from your mind as his lips began to trail down the side of your neck, sucking and marking to his liking. It was then Taehyung’s hands grasped the back of your thighs, swiftly lifting you up. With a knee nudged between your thighs, he backed you up against the wall, pressing himself against you. A soft gasp emitted from your lips since he was right there again, lips barely brushing yours so tentatively and slowly. Hot air fanned your face, and the way he was gazing at you made your insides quiver in delight and your poor heart stutter.

“I can feel how wet you are for me, baby,” he purred out, fingers mischievously dancing up your thigh. You were watching his teasing movements like a fucking hawk, just waiting for him to do something you already.

“y/n.”

You glanced up and Taehyung was just gazing into you so intensely, halting you.

His fingers caressed your body, slowly wandering up before encasing your face in his large, veiny, and pretty hands. With a clear and low voice, he said, “Do you want me as bad as I want you?”

You happily wrapped your arms around his neck, a dazed smiled plastered all over your face. Taehyung definitely didn’t miss that since he was kissing you all over again. Taehyung hadn’t moved a muscle though and it dawned upon you that he was waiting for confirmation once he quirked an eyebrow, eyes telling it all. You almost laughed since here you were, practically kissing the crook of his neck and eagerly waiting for him to bend you over and do his worse.

“Yes,” you spilled it into his mouth without hesitation. “Yes, yes, yes.”

“Okay.”

A moment of realization dawned upon the both of you, but you figured you’d deal with this later. Right now, what you wanted was standing right in front of you and you were bound to get it once and for all.

“Lead the way,” you breathed out against his lips.

“Okay then,” he confirmed, beginning to lead the both of you into his bedroom. One hand was placed along your back while the other was set on your ass, gently squeezing. He groaned upon feeling the lace that was barely covering you, and you could feel him harden underneath you.

With a kick to the door, he swung it open and gave you a last peck on the mouth before gently laying you down on his king sized bed. He didn’t turn on the light, but you propped yourself up, watching as he roamed around his room, fingers running through his long hair. His back was facing you and you could feel your heart accelerate since even in the dim lighting, you could still make out his broad shoulders and defined back. He had definitely changed physically.

He arched an eyebrow, a smirk making its way already. “You want me to fuck you with your clothes on, baby?”

“I preferred if you take them off.”

“Oh?” He boyishly grinned. “Is that so?”

You simply let yourself fall back against the covers, teasingly spreading your legs for him. You heard a sharp inhale, followed by a guttural moan. You were beginning to shimmy out of your shirt when suddenly Taehyung was already climbing on the bed, hovering over you. Hands firmly encased yours, pinning them above your head.

“You’re killing me,” he whispered it out against your lips, eyes slightly darker. “I’ll strip you naked, then. If that’s what my baby wants, then I’ll give it to her.”

My baby.

His hands ripped your shirt open and you gasped in surprise. Taehyung watched as your expression went from instant shock to what seemed to be a slightly frightening pissed off one in just seconds. Your hands were already beginning to shove him away, since that shirt happened to be a favorite and he just ripped it like nothing. “Dude, why?” your eyes had turned to slits and Taehyung knew he had fucked up.

So naturally, he quickly began to spill out, “I’m sorry, fuck. I’ll buy you another one, shit, I’ll buy you whatever the hell you want tomorrow, okay? My wallet is yours.”

Your pissed expression suddenly wavered into a tiny pout and he knew he was in the clear now. “Okay,” you slowly relented, rolling your eyes. “You’re definitely buying me this exact same shirt.”

“Deal.”

“Okay now undress me,” you whined out suddenly and he definitely had no problem in complying with that. You watched as Taehyung practically moaned at the sight of you in just a maroon coated corset. He didn’t even need to take off your skirt to notice the matching set, nor the garters that complimented you so fucking well.

The corset tied around your body, almost like a present to him.

“My little present, huh? Can I unwrap you now?”

“Please,” you impatiently whined out.  

He bent down where the end of the red silky string ended. With his teeth, he grazed your skin as he teasingly dragged it down, slowly unraveling you to him with such ease. You could feel his hot breath fan against your skin. He stopped suddenly, his gaze just wandering your body from head to toe in such awe. His attention to detail was definitely there since his artistic eyes were just brushing and tentatively painting your body with his gaze alone. It was when your hands were coming around to cover yourself when he snapped out of his stupor.

“Nope,” he kissed you, pinning your hands away from your body. “My art.”

“I—” you began, stunned.  

“So beautiful,” his lips were kissing your thoughts away. And then they were marking  away down the base of your throat, licking down on your collarbones, and then his lips immediately went to your nipple, tongue swirling momentarily around it. You squeezed your thighs, trying to find some kind of release as he puckered his lips and sucked. He was definitely enjoying himself since you found him humming along to whatever song was playing. Your brain was muffled by the sensation of his lips to recognize the song he was so keen on singing along to.

“So pretty,” he languidly purred out, a teasing grin laced on his pretty face. He was watching you, tongue swirling around your bud as you both gazed into each other’s eyes. You softly moaned, hands desperately beginning to search for his body. You just wanted to hold him, to feel him against your body, and to feel his lips grace yours so hotly and animalistic simply because you craved for him.

You’ve been yearning for him for so long that all you wanted was to feel him move inside of you.

“Taehyung, I need you to fuck me already,” you heaved out, your impatience getting the better of you.

However, Taehyung was quick to hover over you, pinning your arms against the bed as his lips grazed yours. He was dizzying you again, causing your head to spin from the proximity.  “I am appreciating my art. So you’re going to wait until I am fucking done, understand?”

You thickly swallowed, nodding. He didn’t take that as an answer though. “I didn’t hear you, love.”

“Yes,” you whimpered out and Taehyung’s grin just made your thighs a dripping mess.

He was already in between your legs again, tongue lapping up every single drop. Hands were firmly splayed against your hips, keeping you still as his puckered lips sucked on your clit without pausing. Oh, oh my fucking god. Taehyung was quick to catch on your mannerisms, figuring out the way your body worked with such ease simply because he already knew you inside and out.  Watching as you propped yourself on your elbows, mouth opening and closing frantically. These loud ass moans could rival a pornstar and Taehyung couldn’t breathe just from how hard his dick was.  

“Oh God,” you softly gasped out, your body jerking slightly at the movement of his fingers. Slick covered your ass and thighs as Taehyung pumped in two digits inside of you. He curled them inside of you and you knew his hands were more than capable of making you cum with such ease. You loved his hands and watching his fingers disappear inside of you so harshly, as if you were being used to his liking excited you more than you could think of.

“Oh fuck!” you choked out, fingers fisting the sheets beneath you. “Tae, I’m so close, so close, soclosesoclose.” You screwed your eyes shut, crying out as he replaced his fingers with his tongue. With a few strokes and a mild slap to your cunt, you jerked forward and came without a warning.

Oh fuck, so this is what you’ve been missing. Your breathing was in pants, legs shaking, and head spinning. Taehyung definitely knew what the fuck he was doing. And that fucker just laughed, hands massaging your thighs.

“You done for the night?” he teased you, boxy smile growing. “Wanna take a shower and go to bed, Grandma?”

“Fuck you,” you laughed as you managed to sit up. Your body was practically yearning for more at this rate. You just didn’t want to boost his goddamn ego. He was good, great even if he could make you see stars with just his hands and mouth. You wondered if you would pass out if he fucked you now.

“That’s the plan, baby,” he cheekily replied, winking at you even. You didn’t know what to do besides smacking your hand on his forehead and trying to push him away from between your legs.

“Oh no, no.” He tilted his head to make your hand slip down his face instead. He bit your palm and rasped out, “I gotta clean all of my mess first.”

With his hand, he motioned for you to lay down and you did as you were told.

“Tae,” you tugged at his hair, trying to get him on top of you instead, but Taehyung was busy kitty licking you clean, softly singing, “If you want it, you can have it.”

His mouth hovered over your sensitive bud, slightly nudging it with his tongue. You dug your heels into his bed, getting worked up all over again. Then he proceeded to challenge you, “You think I can make you cum again, baby?”

“Uh huh,” you nodded without thinking, chest beginning to raise and fall. His grin was wicked, yet charming. His mouth though kept slurping away the mess he had made out of you. He hummed against your hole and your legs quivered at the sensation.

“Tae, please,” you began, pushing him away with your hands.

He raised an eyebrow, tongue sweeping his bottom lip.  “Yeah?”

“I want you to fuck me already, goddamn it.” You exasperatedly told him.

“I think, I’ll fuck you with these on,” he smirked, fingers hooking underneath your red garter. Just the sensation of his fingers on your skin, ignited the anticipation inside of you.

Do whatever you please, just fuck me already.

His hands were already unbuckling his belt, whipping out before throwing it behind him. His gaze alone made you swallow thickly since the way he just looked at you told you what he was planning to do to you. Once his pants and underwear were gone, you were already meeting him on the edge of his bed, hands sliding up his arms.  You stood before him, smiling so widely.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” you sincerely uttered it out, finding yourself breathless once meeting his eyes.

He caressed your cheek, arm winding around your body to pull you flush against him. “If I could capture the essence of how beautiful you are, I wouldn’t share it to the world. Call me selfish for wanting you all for myself, but it took us three years to get here where I can finally call you mine.”

He was lifting you up once again, gently placing you down on his mattress. You could feel his cock press against your stomach and you simply welcomed him between your legs so naturally.

“You sure?” He asked once again, trying to reaffirm himself in a sense.

“Make me yours,” you said without hesitation, games and teasing falling off the table now. Your heart, mind, and body were in unison as you kissed him immediately to reassure him that it was okay.

As your mouth deliciously met his, he slowly slid into you. He swallowed your moan in his mouth, hips bottoming down against your body. A grunt emitted from his mouth as you squeezed around him, starting to milk his cock. His hands had gotten busy with your hair, fingers tangling themselves as he slowly began to push himself into you. All you could do was muffle your moans by biting down on his shoulder, nails digging into his side. He was in between your legs, hips sensually moving against your body. Finally. You could feel his cock move against you and your toes were curling at the sensation of having him finally fuck you dizzy like you always wanted. Your mind was whirling and your body sighed in contentment. His weight on top of yours, his hands roaming down your body, and the feeling of his soft pants emitting on to your lips was just too much. Taehyung was praying nonsense into air, he too was getting senseless and lost inside of you.

“Oh god,” you whimpered out softly, hot pants heavily emitting from your lips. His cock pulsed against your tight hole, driving shameless whimpers from you over and over until he was the only thing engraved in your mind.

His big hands were splayed against your thigh, fingertips slowly dragging down your skin, squeezing and marking to his liking. His mouth ghosted across your neck, sucking and grazing his teeth between your breasts.

“Yes, yes, fuck,” you moaned out, practically shivering against him. He was a quiet lover, except for an occasional grunt and soft moans that vibrated against your warm skin.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned out, his hips grinding against yours. He was gripping on to your thigh, fingers tugging at your garter so harshly that it started to slide down.

“I—Ah, ngh, Taehyung,” you were practically mewling. And Taehyung was relentless as he kissed you suddenly to swallow the whimpers emitting from your lips because he felt he was going to cum at the sounds you were making just for him.

“You’re so loud for me baby,” he cooed out, shamelessly praising you. “My baby is so responsive for me, so fucking hot.”

“Mhm,” you ate it all up, hands greedily marking his back as he slammed inside of you. His hips were rolling down, practically grinding against your pubic bone.

“Paint your pretty body with my hands,” he hotly sucked the tip of your earlobe, earning a sharp inhale from you as your response. “With my lips,” he continued, his lips softly ghosting your skin. “mark you and brand you with my name written all over you skin.”

“Yes, yes, do whatever you want,” you whimpered out, legs beginning to tremble.

He suddenly cupped you’re face rather firmly, momentarily slowing down his movements. As he slowly panted out each word, he rolled his hips, hitting your sensitive spot over and over again. “You’re mine, you hear me? No one can touch you but me.”

Done.

“I’m yours,” you shameless repeated it to him, eating up everything that was leaving his pretty mouth. “Ah, I, ah always been.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” you instantly moaned out. Taehyung’s fingers were tracing your lips, watching as he fucked you silly and you responded to his demands so easily.

“Suck,” he demanded, and you happily obliged. With puckered lips, you swirled your tongue around his finger before sucking briefly.

“I know my baby can take more,” he cooed out, slowly deep throating his fingers down your throat. You gagged around his long, slender fingers, soon hollowing out your cheeks to fully take them in rather happily. He was quick in sliding them in and out, letting you do all the dirty work. And you happily obliged to his bidding, coating his pretty and delicate fingers with your saliva.

“Such a pretty, messy baby,” he groaned out at the sight of you. He removed his fingers from your mouth and with his pretty tongue, he licked and sucked to your echoing moans.

He used your headrest as leverage, hips grinding against yours as low, guttural moans left his pink lips. His eyes were screwed shut and you clenched so deliciously around him that he let out a small ‘oh fuckohfuckohfuck’ in return.

“I’m so close,” you cried out, legs wrapping around his waist. Your heels were digging into his skin, fingers pressing into every curve of his body. He moved your body against the bed, chest pressed against yours, hands beginning to intertwine with yours. Foreheads were pressed against each other’s and you both were breathing in the same heated, desperate for release of air into each other’s mouths.

“Yeah?” He panted out against your mouth, hips stuttering as you felt your body jerk. “Is my baby close?”

“Mhm,” you whimpered out again, back beginning to arch off the bed. Your heels were digging into his ass and tears began to prick your eyes from the intensity.

“Taehyung,” you cried out, eyes squeezing to a close. Legs had begun to tremble, toes were curling, and then your body stuttered and all you could feel was a hot blazing white overwhelming you.

Taehyung came with your name in his mouth and lips desperately finding yours. Your fingers instantly lost themselves into his hair, body melting and molding with his. He was still in between your legs, arms encasing you whole. His arms slid beneath yours, hands still tugging at your hair as you breathlessly continued to kiss him.

“I am so love with you, you know?” he suddenly sprung up on you, voice laced with so much emotion. His voice was breathy, and low. 

You simply gazed at him, happiness overwhelming you wholeheartedly.

“Taehyung, I am so in love with you,” you softly told him, your fingers tenderly caressing his face. “Since the moment you walked into my life, I have been in love with you.”

As he gazed at you with stars in his eyes, you remembered what he had told you the first day you had met him. How he had contradicted your viewing of how the stars seemed like background. In a sense, you felt as if you were the stars, sometimes covered by clouds, dying with time, and overlooked because you were always there. And then he came into your life and showed you that the stars were magnificently beautiful in every way. 

“Have you ever considered that the stars alone don’t need the sun and the moon? They are their own separate entity. They shine brightly with, or without them.”

“They are uniquely beautiful. And the whole romance between the sun and the moon is bittersweet since yeah they were once together in a sense, but they don’t complement each other. The stars do.”

“I love you, silly.” He softly reminded you once again, nose nudging yours so sweetly.

You brought him down towards you, kissing him as you confessed into his lips, “And I love you.”

It was during the time where the sun started peeking in through his blinds that you laid wide awake. Taehyung was sound asleep, arms around your body, lips on the crook of his neck, and you could feel his even breathing on your skin. His hair was all matted up from running your fingers through it and you were so fucking happy. A variety of colors painted your heart and you couldn’t wait until you got to see the masterpiece he had created inside of you. There was one thing standing in the way though, something that wasn’t exactly letting you fall asleep in his arms. You wondered if your best friend would set on fire that masterpiece that you called your heart once she found out you were with Taehyung.

[ayellowcurtain]

Sander singing 'without you' (Mariah Carey)...not sad version...kinda like cute style...to robbe

Sander looks at his boyfriend, squeezing his hand, feeling how he moves with no or too much confidence, crossing his steps every time in the way that his hips hit Sander's constantly. Robbe is drunk, in such a good mood only alcohol can give you - or weed - and his happiness makes Sander happy, and soft, and even more gone, if that’s even possible.

It was a good day, spent outside with their friends, playing a bunch of random games they decided to play. Even Jana’s curiosity didn’t bother him. They didn’t have much time to get to know each other before she moved to New York, but she was quick to catch up, the alcohol also clearly getting rid of any shame she could have to ask the most intimate questions. Even Jens got more talkative when around her - which was all night long - and he was happy to ask his questions too.

Robbe laughed at them, trying to avoid the questions he didn’t want Sander to answer. He wouldn’t answer everything anyway, but it was cute to see Robbe dragging his words, always smiling, asking them to go find something else to do, or more interesting conversations to have. Sander knew the three of them were close some time ago, mostly when Jens and Jana were a thing, and so he was happy to tell her all about his plans of spending his life with Robbe, drunk or not.

The party started to die down, everyone finding somewhere to throw themselves to sit for the next few hours until they got sober enough to go home, or to another party, Sander asked. He was as nice as he could, asking Robbe if they could go, and Robbe nodded his head deeply, laughing with the movement, asking for kisses as he said, “Yes, let’s go home.”

The music at the party was okay, nothing that would stand out in Sander’s mind, but he’s very sure there was no Mariah Carey. His brain remembers the song, Sander doesn’t know how, but he knows it’s an old song, and he hasn’t heard it in the past few years, at least! So it’s weirdly endearing to hear Robbe singing it, like an afterthought, as they walk home and he swings their intertwined arms back and forth. The lyrics sound fitting though.

I can't live

If living is without you

I can't live

I can't give anymore

I can't live

If living is without you

I can't give

I can't give anymore

Robbe looks at him when he notices Sander staring, smiling as big as he can, his hair still wet from the sea, smelling like the beer someone spilled next to them at some point, mixed with the salt from the sea.

He lets go of his boyfriend’s hand to hold his waist firmly, grabbing his oversized shirt to see if it helps but he's struggling, Robbe is too loose to be guided.

So he does the second best thing: he stops and makes Robbe stop next to him, putting one arm behind his boyfriend's knees, hearing when Robbe laughs, his hand playing with the hair in the back of Sander's neck.

"What? Sander!" He sighs because Robbe is a little bit heavier than normal, that's how drunk he is, but he’s still light enough where Sander can carry him once they get the position right, Robbe’s arms always quick to hook around his neck.

"Come." Sander says when he finally manages to squeeze Robbe’s knees together over his arm, getting up, walking with Robbe in his arms.

Robbe laughs, kissing his cheek, whispering, "Yeah, come, but not like this."

Sander snorts, and rolls his eyes, carrying Robbe all the way they have left to their hotel, pushing the door open with his feet.

It seems like their group is the only people staying here this weekend so the person at the front desk doesn’t even care to look up when they burst inside. Robbe wraps his arms tighter around Sander’s neck, burying his face against it.

“You’re gonna fall asleep so fast...” Sander purrs, pressing his cheek against Robbe’s, not sure if he’s happy about how tired Robbe will get once he hits the bed or not.

“No way, I’m not.” Sander smiles, pulling Robbe even closer.

He’s been pretty vocal about all the things he wanted, so bad - his words, not Sander’s - to do when they were finally alone. And Sander wants to do all of them because he loves being with Robbe, doing anything with him. But Robbe is extremely drunk. He can’t even walk a straight line. Sander doubts he can do anything else. But he’ll gladly watch Robbe sleep for five minutes before he forces himself to go take a shower before joining his boyfriend in bed.

“Where are your keys, cutie?”

“No idea.”

Sander sighs because he doesn’t know where his keys are either. He’s sure he put it inside his pocket in his jacket but then he took his jacket off, then his shirt, and now there’s no card in any pocket.

Robbe whines when Sander puts him down, standing up against the wall next to their door, with one arm next to Robbe in case he loses his balance again.

“Found it!” Sander grabs the card in the back pocket of his still wet jeans. “Shit, I hope it still works.”

He rubs it against his somewhat drier shirt, hoping it’ll do the trick. Robbe squeezes his hand around Sander’s wrist, and he looks at him, Robbe trying to pull him closer. “Marry me.”

Sander snorts, kissing him gently, “Yes.”

“Marry me.” Robbe complains, frowning and pulling him closer. “Marry me, Sander!” He laughs, letting his body rest against Robbe’s, quickly putting his arms around Sander’s neck again.

“Fuck yes, Robin!” He kisses Robbe’s face, finally unlocking their bedroom, dragging them to the side until Robbe slips inside, letting go of him to regain his balance, turning around, trying to kick off his shoes already.

Sander closes the door, and puts the card on the table, right next to his phone so they won’t lose it again. Robbe tries to take his jacket off by pulling it over his head even though the jacket is completely open. Sander smiles as he watches him struggle for a moment, standing in front of Robbe, his head hiding somewhere in between his jacket and shirt, also going up as he tries to get his arms free, at least. Sander pulls his jacket, and Robbe waits, letting Sander get rid of his jacket and shirt at once.

“Fuck, come to bed…” He says like he wasn’t struggling with his clothes a second ago, dragging his feet against the dark carpet while trying to open his jeans, pushing them down his skinny legs. Sander snorts, getting rid of his own shirt, and jeans as he watches Robbe jump on one feet while trying to pull his jeans all the way out of one feet, then the other.

He turns all the lights off, and lets Robbe settle under the heavy comforter first, closing the curtains, watching his boyfriend from the bathroom while he brushes his teeth. Robbe already found his perfect spot, and he’s trying to watch Sander too, a soft smile just on the corners of his lips. He adjusts his head on the pillow, and by the way he sighs quietly, blinking slowly, Sander knows Robbe is thinking about how much he loves this pillow, how soft it is.

Robbe looks over his shoulder, using his last few seconds of energy to pull Sander’s pillow to be right next to his, almost over it, and Sander laughs, washing his mouth, putting his toothbrush next to Robbe’s too.

He turns around, sad that he can’t watch Robbe while he’s using the bathroom, selfishly already missing him. Robbe is asleep when he comes back a minute later, and it’s no surprise to Sander, but still, he wishes he could at least give him a kiss goodnight.

He lies next to Robbe and pulls his body closer, hugging him tight, but not too tight it’ll make him let go of him during the night.

[breakyeol]

Give Him a Show

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: college au, friends to lovers au, suggestive, tiny pinch of angst

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: strong language, fuckboy!chanyeol being an complete asshole, !!! themes of harassment (not with malicious intent but it’s still not okay) !!! , mentions of drinking and marijuana use, mild groping, heavy making out

A/N ; hey guys. I feel like there is a slightly more serious topic addressed in this one shot. never let a man or woman or anyone treat you the way Chanyeol treats reader in this. don’t be afraid to put your foot down and tell them to fuck off. and if you don’t feel comfortable doing it then ask a friend or family member or anyone you trust for help. please be safe and don’t be afraid to say no ♡ also! this one shot in NO WAY portrays Chanyeol’s true character!! we all know that he is a respectful gentleman in real life thank you and goodnight

It was too often that you found yourself in places like this, surrounded by people like them.

Places like this being an entirely too crowded apartment, the scent of weed and sweat intertwining in the air, the deep bass of a song pulsing from unseen speakers causing the floor to vibrate beneath your sneaker clad feet.

People like them being your so called ‘friends’ who partied every weekend and got shit faced or cross faded every time an opportunity presented itself.

Don’t get it wrong, you knew how to get down and dirty with the worst of them. But tonight had been one of those nights— one of those nights that all you wanted was to sprawl yourself out in your bed and binge watch Scream for the gazillionth time while stuffing your face full of all your favorite snack foods. It hadn’t been the best day in the world, and just being able to sit back and unwind seemed like the most ideal use of your free time.

Unfortunately, that plan was abruptly negated when your friends got the brilliant idea of partying until their legs gave out. They found it of the utmost importance to drag you along as well, claiming dramatically it had been forever since you last hung out with them.

Since the beginning of the night, you had been tucked into the corner of the room on one of the unoccupied couches, pretending to nurse the cup of god knows what kind of alcohol, and wearing your best resting bitch face in hopes that everyone would just stay the fuck away. Thus far, the strategy had been successful. If someone started coming in your direction, all you had to do was shoot them an icy glare and they’d immediately spin around and walk in the opposite direction.

Though, there was one particular person that seemed to be completely oblivious to your blatant disinterest in being here.

“Y/n!”

You grimaced at the familiar booming voice, reluctantly tearing your eyes off of the window where you’d been counting the lights of passing cars on the street bellow. The one and only Park Chanyeol stood before you, signature lopsided smirk plastered across his face.

You’d known Chanyeol since high school, but you really only knew each other because of your mutual friends. In all honesty, you didn’t consider him much more than a good acquaintance. He was a sweet guy, funny and bright and very outgoing.

But, he was also one of the biggest fuck boys you’d ever met. And he was not shy in displaying the fact that he had wanted to hook up with you, to the point where you couldn’t even pretend that it was just your ego. Not-so-subtly eye fucking you whenever you walked into the room, constantly pressing you about your ideal man or what kind of guy you were interested in, finding any and every excuse to be near you or touch you in one way or another. It was all a bit excessive, especially considering that you just weren’t interested in him like that. Unfortunately, he couldn’t seem to get the hint— or, he just didn’t care.

All his indirect advances made it a bit uncomfortable for you to be around him. That was another reason you’d been subtly avoiding hanging out with the big group of friends, because he was always there. And every time you weren’t, he’d text or call you about it and you’d have to make up an excuse as to why you didn’t show.

It wasn’t even like he actually liked you, either. All that he wanted was to snag a quick fuck.

You’d told him straight up on several occasions that you just were not interested, when his advances got too much for you to put up with. He’d lay off for the rest of the night, and if you were lucky the rest of the next day. But by the next, he’d be right back to his flirting and excessive touching. The dude was relentless.

And it was honestly getting a bit exhausting.

But for tonight, you smile politely and just deal.

“Hey, Chanyeol.”

“I’m surprised you came!” He said, voice louder than usual, falling onto the couch beside you like it was where he belonged. You tensed at the feeling of his thigh pressing firmly against yours, and attempted to scoot away from him, only to be stopped by the arm rest digging into your side.

Shit. Did he not know about personal space? More than likely he did, but just didn’t give a fuck.

You only offered a mild nod of your head in response, lips tight, body rigid. He should have been able to feel it with how tightly he’d pressed himself up against you, should’ve felt the tension in your muscles, the uneasiness rolling off of you thick, heavy waves. But he didn’t even flinch, tossing a nonchalant arm over the back of the couch behind your head. You curled in on yourself as his fingers feathered over your shoulder, the corner of your lip lifting in an uncontainable grimace.

“Yeah, me too.”

For whatever reason, the stiff, grumbled response coaxed a round of guffawing belly laughter from the boy squeezed against you. Personally, you didn’t think it was all that funny.

“Well, I, for one, am very glad you came. But why are you over here all by yourself?”

You shrugged, sinking your teeth into the inside of your lip and turning away from him, opting to give your attention to the lack of stars visible in the light polluted night sky. “Just... not in the mood for all this, I guess.” The empty reply was intended to cut this one sided conversation short as soon as possible.

“Then... do you wanna get out of here?” He whispered the question against the shell of your ear, and you couldn’t help the way you lurched away from him. His breath reeked of vodka, the scent so strong that you couldn’t help the way your nose wrinkled in disgust. One thorough look at him was all it took to confirm your suspicions. His cheeks were flushed a deep red, his hooded eyes unfocused and bloodshot.

“You’re wasted, Chanyeol.” You deadpanned, arms folding over your chest.

“What?! N– no I’m not!” You could clearly hear the faint slur of his words now, only solidifying your point further. He was thoroughly shit faced. And if you weren’t too off base, you thought you caught a whiff of weed clinging to his plaid button up. “I’m fine, y/n!” He insisted, apparently lucid enough to catch the look of disbelief that flashed across your face. A sober Chanyeol was one thing, but dealing with him while he was cross faded? That was above your qualifications as an acquaintance.

“Listen, let’s just go somewhere, yeah?” He hiccuped and you almost hissed as one of his hands fell on your knee, and quickly pushed it away. A faint downward twitch of his lips was the only indication he even noticed it had happened, before he was covering it up with a wide grin and leaning in closer. “I know this great pancake place, open 24/7, most delicious milkshakes you’ve ever had in your life. Then maybe afterward we could... chill at my place. What do you say?”

You knew damn well that just ‘chilling’ was nowhere near being on this man’s mind.

“I say you’re drunk and need to lay down and drink some water.”

“Come on, y/n~” He whined at your blunt reply, and your brows furrowed in distaste as he tugged you closer, only to leap into your hairline when you caught his hazy gaze slip down to your mouth. He bit his lip, eyes fluttering. Fuck. Fuck. Was he going to kiss you? Shit. You couldn’t let this happen. But as you pulled away, he pushed further, and all at once you found yourself trapped against the wall. Fuck!

“I—!”

“Chanyeol.” Both yours and Chanyeol’s head turned, surprised by the sudden interruption. A soft breath of relief escaped your lips, though you also felt the familiar tug of embarrassment in the pit of your stomach.

“Sehun?” He mumbled, blinking in confusion.

“You’re fucked up, Chanyeol. Go drink some water.” The younger boy huffed, rolling his eyes.

“But I—”

“Seriously go, Chanyeol. Before you do something you regret when you sober up.” The exasperation in his voice brought a faint glower across Chanyeol’s face, but, to your relief, he pulled away. You watched with pursed lips as he stood on shaky legs and stumbled past his younger friend, roughly bumping his shoulder as he went.

“Fuck.” You cursed once he was out of ear shot, rubbing your palms over your face, frustration peeking.

When you looked up, Sehun was still standing there in his stupid leather jacket and ripped back jeans with his stupid black hair that fell perfectly over his annoyingly handsome face, pretty eyes narrowed into slits and focused sharply on you. You hated it when he looked like you like that. Hated the way your skin burned and your heart sped up in your chest. Hated the way your stomach stirred with butterflies. You hated it. But at the same time…

“What?” You sighed, grimacing at the faint quiver in your voice.

Sehun folded his arms over his chest. “You don’t have to put up with it, you know.”

“What?”

“It’s so obvious that you’re uncomfortable. Why don’t you just tell him to fuck off?” He asked, shifting his weight onto one hip.

“I have.” You groaned. “I’ve told him I’m not interested. He lets up for a bit but then he goes right back to pulling his usual shit.” You tried to explain, face twisting in irritation.

“Have you told him to go fuck himself?”

“Not in those words, exactly.” You admitted, rubbing at the back of your neck.

“Why not?”

“Isn’t it a bit mean? He’s an asshole but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or something...”

“Why the fuck should you care about his feelings when he refuses to consider yours?”

He wasn’t wrong.

Then again, Sehun is rarely wrong when it came down to things like that.

Even though he was the youngest, he always seemed to carry this strange sort of wisdom. He saw and understood things in ways your other friends, in ways most people just didn’t. He took the time to try and see deeper than most cared to look. You had always respected that about him.

While your other friends egged Chanyeol on, pushing you to get with him, Sehun saw past the fake smiles and forced laughter. He saw just how uncomfortable you really were. And he spoke up about it when he saw it going a bit too far. When Chanyeol got too touchy or too bold, he was usually the one to smack him upside the head and tell him to back off or pull you away. He was good like that. And it was nice to know that someone knew and was actually on your side.

Sehun had been a fixture in your friend group since high school. You hadn’t been very close to him at first because he was more on the quiet side and didn’t go out of his way to talk to you. Not to mention, the kid was intimidating as hell with all his leather jackets and ripped jeans and sharp, penetrating eyes.

Put bluntly, he scared the shit out of you the first time you met him. But then you saw him smile for the first time, saw the sweet blush that coated his cheeks when the older boys teased him, heard that goofy, high pitched laugh that rang like the loveliest bells in your ears, felt that unfamiliar fluttering in your chest. And you knew that you were done for.

The two of you hung out a lot in your freshman year of college, going on late night drives and blasting music and just living. For a while you thought that maybe— just maybe there was something there. A spark. A chance.

But he never made a move, and neither did you. Then there was Chanyeol and his flirting and annoyingly persistent determination to fuck you. Things got complicated and nothing ever ended up happening between the two of you. You thought you’d at least keep up the same momentum in your relationship, but Sehun started pulling away from you. His late night visits became less frequent, his texts dwindling to almost nonexistent, and his presence in your life becoming less and less every day. It hurt. But what the hell were you going to do about it? It was frustrating at first, but you got over it.

... kind of.

... not really.

That’s besides the point.

When you didn’t answer, Sehun sighed, taking a few tentative steps before dropping onto the couch beside you. You weren’t too sure how to feel about the space he left between you. It almost felt representative of the distance that had grown between the two of you in the past year. You didn’t like it.

“It’s not cool what he’s doing to you, you know that, right?” He asked, tilting his head at you. Concern shone through his gentle eyes, uncertainty. You couldn’t ignore the way your chest warmed at the thought that he cared. He cared about you, about your feelings. He cared, and you couldn’t begin to describe the immense joy that ignited inside of you. But you bit your lip to keep from smiling, to keep from sighing blissfully and melting into the familiar comfort of his presence brought you. The seriousness in his gaze kept you upright and alert, the topic at hand pulling you down from the brief high and you nodded gently.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Sehun pursed his lips, a thoughtful candescence falling over his handsome features. “I’ve known Chanyeol for a long time. He’s not a bad guy, but he is a fucking idiot and doesn’t always realize when he’s being a fucking idiot so sometimes you just gotta slap him in the face and tell him straight up to get his shit together. And he will.”

Just then, you spotted Chanyeol sauntering out of the kitchen, a water bottle gripped in his hand, a hazy kind of smirk on his face. You watched him toss an arm around Minseok’s shoulder and whisper something in his ear, tipping his head in your direction.

“You want him to back off?” You flinched at the unexpected closeness of Sehun’s voice, and made the mistake of turning to face him. He was close. So close. Close enough to count his eyelashes if you wanted. Close enough to see the faded pink of the scar on his cheek. Close enough to smell the subtle wisp of his earthy cologne. Close enough to feel the heat radiating off his skin. Your heart began thundering violently in your chest, a blazing heat blossoming beneath your skin.

“Yeah.” The word came out as less than a breathless whisper. You didn’t miss the way his eyes flashed down to your lips, before quickly snapping back up to your eyes, searching them with a tenderness that made your heart throb.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” There wasn’t a moment of hesitation, not the faintest hint of uncertainty. It was the truth. You trusted him.

He glanced out of the corner of his eye, and you followed his gaze to find Chanyeol standing across the room staring intently in your direction with brows furrowed. Gentle fingers pressing into the curve of your jaw drew your attention back to the man sitting in front of you. Ever so slightly, he tipped his face closer, his nose nudging against yours. Shallow, insufficient inhales swirled in your lungs as your eyes fluttered, utterly overwhelmed by the mere closeness of him.

“Then follow my lead.”

His lips met yours with a gentleness you weren’t entirely prepared for. They were light and cautious, waiting to see whether you’d push him off or pull him in. He let out a soft breath of relief at the feeling of your hand curling around the back of his neck, urging him closer. In an instant, he relinquished his restrains, melting into the warm pressure of your lips as you simultaneously melted into his.

You’ve experienced your fair share of kisses in the past. But something about this one — whether it was the slow, deep pace of it, or the lingering presence of ring clad fingers tracing the length of your throat, or the mere fact that it was with Oh Sehun, the boy that could set your heart ablaze with a single smile — there was just something about this kiss.

When he pulled away, you could still feel the phantom warmth, tingling on your skin. You refused to open your eyes, trying to keep the sensation alive as long as possible.

“Is that alright?”

Finally, you looked at him. And god, had you ever seen a man so beautiful? His cheeks were flushed a soft, endearing pink, deep chocolate eyes hooded and melting, lips just a touch darker in shade then they had been before. You were so awestruck by him that it took you an extra moment to realize that he’d asked you a question.

You nodded, tightening your hold around his neck in order to pull him closer and breathe the word into his open mouth before closing the distance completely, “Yes.”

Immediately following your consent, any and all of Sehun’s lingering reservations vanished. His hands dropped away from your neck, one coiling tightly around the curve of your waist and flattening against the small of your back, the other gripping your jean clad thigh and tugging it gentle over his lap. The new position ignited a dangerously familiar heat in the pit of your stomach, that quickly began to swell into something large and uncontainable, spurred by the delicious pressure of his fingers and skilled movements of his lips.

He groaned deeply as you tugged at his hair, silky tendrils clenched in a tight fist. The sound resonated through your body, vibrating in your chest and shooting straight down to your growing arousal.

“Fuck that was sexy.”

A low chuckle rumbled in his throat and you realized with an embarrassed flush that you’d said that out loud. But the buzz of nerve was quickly soothed when he mumbled breathlessly, “right back atcha.”

He emphasized his point by sinking his teeth into the sensitive flesh of your lower lip and tugging, eliciting a low, drawn out moan from the depths of your chest. Smooth flicks of his tongue soothed the afflicted skin, before he asked for permission to enter, not waiting a single moment to dive in when it was granted.

Feeling the burn of someone’s stare, your eyes flicked open for a moment, sliding lazily over to where Chanyeol still stood, seemingly rooted into the spot. His eyes were wide, lips gaping, cheeks flushed, though you couldn’t tell if it was from the alcoholic something else entirely. The grip he had on his water bottle had tightened substantial, and you couldn’t help the mild smugness that washed over you.

Without breaking to kiss, you kept your gaze on Chanyeol, making sure he was watching as you slid a hand around the front of Sehun’s throat, and captured his tongue between your lips, sucking gently. If possible, his mouth fell open even wider, eyes looking ready to pop out of his damn skull. Smirking to yourself, you cocked a brow at the gaping man. He visibly swallowed, before his eyes suddenly snapped down. You followed his gaze curiously and nearly scoffed in disbelief.

Of course he’d get a hard on from watching something like this. Nasty fucker.

“He still watching?” Sehun mumbled, detaching his mouth from yours only long enough to get the words out. You hummed softly in confirmation, shivering when you felt the slow upward curl of his lips. “Good. Let’s give him a show.”

In an instant, Sehun pulled you over to straddle his lap. Warm hands roamed over your body, though careful to keep a respectful distance from anything he thought you might not want him touching. You appreciated the sentiment, but with Sehun? You didn’t need respectful.

The younger boy faltered beneath you, chest swelling with a deep inhale when you reached around to grab hold of his wrists and slowly lowered them to the swells of your ass. He groaned roughly, fingers digging greedily into the jean clad flesh and pulling you flush against him.

You gasped when you felt him beneath you, hot and hard right between your hips. The rough friction made you clench and shudder, wetness spilling from your core and soaking through your panties. You probably should have been concerned about the heavy arousal seeping through the thick material of your jeans, but your mind was too far gone in the intoxicating warmth of his kiss that you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Fuck, Sehun.” You hissed, hips rolling hungrily over his.

“Baby.” He purred in response, and you swear you nearly had a fucking aneurism on the spot. Baby. Baby. Oh Sehun just called you baby. How long had you waited to hear him call you that? Too fucking long.

A desperate whimper pulsed from your throat, so entirely unlike you that it took even you by surprise. He didn’t seem to mind, pulling you so tightly against him that your ribs ached. But the pain was welcome, melting into a delicious cocktail with the fierce pleasure pulsing through your every cell.

“I don’t think he’s watching anymore.” Sehun breathed, glancing over your shoulder.

“I don’t care.”

You weren’t concerned about Chanyeol any more, far more focused on how Sehun’s lips tasted like mint and honey, and not like alcohol. The fact that he hadn’t drank made you feel even better, if that were possible.

Honest to god you probably would have fucked him right then and there on that couch in front of everyone (and felt damn good about it too) if not for the gentle pressure of Sehun’s fingers digging into your rolling hips, forcing their slow grinding to come to an abrupt halt. You pulled away from him then, completely out of breath and more turned on than you’d been in your entire life. Sehun was in a similar state, panting and flushed, damn near throbbing in the tight confines of his sexy ripped jeans.

“What is it?” You asked, still panting.

He shot you a lopsided grin. “As much as I would love to fuck your brains out in front of all these self centered assholes...” a hand drifted up the line of your body, delicate fingers following the cut of your jaw to trace over the seam of your bottom lip. “I think I’d prefer our first time together to be somewhere a bit more… private? Intimate? Somewhere I can treat you how you deserve to be treated.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest, warmth spreading through your body in thick, invigorating waves.

“What’d you have in mind?” You asked softly, feathering your lips over his. He smiled.

“I know this great pancake place that’s open 24/7, best milkshakes you’ve ever had. Then maybe afterward we could... chill at my place. What do you say?” Laughter bubbled at your lips as he mimicked the same line Chanyeol had used on you earlier with a cheesy grin.

And yet, the feeling was entirely different.

Sucking your lips into your mouth, you nodded shyly, arms going slack over his broad shoulders.

“Only if you’re paying.” You hummed playfully.

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically, “I’ll make an exception to my ‘seniors always pay rule’ just this once. Only for you.”

Only for you.

You could definitely get used to that.

[g0ldengubler]

Can I request for one of the chapter's they have another night at Garcia's and Spencer (who's real baked) declares his love for Y/N & she tells him she feels the same? Loving this series babe!

hi hun! thank u so much for the request and the feedback. it really does mean a lot :’) i’m so sorry to disappoint but i did already have something down for how they were gonna admit their feelings for one another (which is also the chapter im currently working on hehe) but i still wrote ur request (which i’m in love with btw)! just as a one shot, though. depending on how others respond to this, i just might change it (giving credit where it’s due obviously)! again, thank you so much and i apologize. i hope u still enjoy :) also sorry for how weird the paragraphs are, i used wattpad for the word count lol

Request: YES/no

Category: fluff in an alternate chapter of nauseous

Couple: spencer/reader

CW: use of marijuana, but other than that it’s just fluff :)

Summary: it had been a couple of weeks since you and spencer were up at your cabin. since you guys got back, you hadn’t heard or seen much of him. when you go to garcia’s one night for a little get together, what will happen when spencer had a bit too much to smoke?

Word Count: 1609

✨masterlist✨

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N! You're finally here!"

Garcia had invited everyone back to her apartment for another get together. It had been a couple of weeks since you took Spencer up to your cabin and after all the platonic kisses and the heavenly sex, you both hadn't reached out to each other once you got back home. That weekend left you questioning your relationship with him. Falling in love wasn't something you were used to. You never had that moment where you could just stand there, and look up at someone and think that this someone was your whole world. The one you never could get out of your head; the one where you wished for their arms around you with your head on their chest. Hearing their heart beat, the kind of beat that made you feel safe. You'd never felt these feelings before, until you met Spencer.

You walked in, giving hugs to everyone. You were shocked that Rossi and Hotch were there, and when you went to give them hugs, you apologized in advance for your behavior under the influence.

"As long as you don't show this kind of behavior at work, you don't have to worry about it." said Hotch.

"Yeah, don't worry about it kiddo," said Rossi, "you don't have to feel embarrassed around us. We're a family!"

You then saw Spencer on the couch, smoking on a blunt. You could tell he was close to being gone, as he and Morgan couldn't keep a poker face while playing. He looks up at you and smiles, but then that smile shrunk into that awkward white guy smile, looking back down at his cards.

"Hey." You said as you sat down next to him. Morgan reached over to Spencer, taking the blunt in his hand and putting up to his mouth.

"Hey." He whispers.

"How much has he had already?" you asked Morgan, looking over to him and using your thumb to point at Spencer as he passes the blunt to Garcia.

"He smoked two bowls before this blunt so...he's gonna be done for pretty soon."

"Damn," you laughed, "started the party without me, huh?"

Spencer just laughs at himself, still looking at his cards. Garcia passed the blunt to you. You took a few hits, letting the smoke fill your lungs. When you exhaled your final puff, you pass it to Emily, letting the wave of tingles fill your body, your eyes beginning to feel heavy.

You notice Emily pass the blunt over to Hotch and your jaw dropped when he took it from her fingers. After he takes a hit, he hands it over to Rossi, which made even everyone else in the room look at him them in shock.

"What?" asked Rossi, "Gideon and I smoked a lot in our day."

"And I had my fair share in college like anyone else."

We gathered ourselves before Jj finally said something. "It's just kind of hard to believe, seeing our boss and founder getting high."

"Well believe it!" Rossi joked before handing the blunt to her. Everyone giggled and chuckled before starting a new game of poker.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been about an hour and at this point everyone was slumped. You and Spencer ended up in Garcia's room with her, Emily, Jj, and Morgan, just sitting around and talking about your high epiphanies as you passed a joint around, while Hotch and Rossi stayed in the living room playing another round of poker. Everyone was pretty much gone. Hooded red eyes and coughing every so often. Garcia's giggled were contagious and it made everyone else laugh along with her.

Spencer let you lay your head down on his chest, which made that safe feeling even stronger than it did when you were at the cabin. You watched as he took the joint to his lips and inhaled. When he exhaled, he let the smoke hover in his mouth before blowing it all out. For some reason, you thought it was sexy when he smoked.

He passed the joint to you and you took more than one hit off of it. You wanted to forget this feeling you had for him because you felt like he didn't wouldn't want that. If he did, he would've tried harder. And quite frankly, it looked like he enjoyed your friends with benefits relationship more than something bigger.

As you inhaled, Spencer adjusted his position a bit, looking up to the stars that were still on her ceiling.

"Fuck, man," he says to Morgan, "I'm so in love with Y/N."

You almost choked on the smoke that was still in your throat. You thought your mind was playing tricks on you. This was a little random to be admitting feelings.

"What was that, pretty boy?" asked Morgan with a grin on his face.

Spencer didn't know why they were so shocked. But then realized what he had said just seconds ago. "Oh shit, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes you did, genius," said Garcia, "and I knEW IT!"

"Knew what?" I asked once my coughing attack calmed down.

"I knew that something more happened that night. I'm a pretty good cupid, aren't I?"

"Well I...I-I don't..." Spencer began stuttering. You couldn't hold in your giggles anymore and just burst out laughing.

"You can't take it back, boy genius." said Morgan.

"Hotch, Rossi! You both owe us five bucks each!" yelled Emily.

"Wha-you had a bet on us?"

"You bet your ass we did." said Jj.

You wanted to be mad at them, but how could you? You felt the same way about Spencer as he did for you. Maybe it was the amount of weed in your system, but you couldn't think of a reason to pretend to be mad at them. Then something came to mind.

"Hey, just because he said it, doesn't mean he speaks for me, too."

Spencer looked down at you with sad puppy eyes. "Does that mean you love me, too?"

You were quiet for a moment before taking the last hit of the joint, correctly inhaling and exhaling. You blowed the smoke into his face before putting the roach in the ashtray.

"Spence, I'm so in love with you. Just as much as your in love with me."

A smile grew on his face as he sat up, putting his arm around you. He cupped her face with his other hand and pulled your lips onto his. His actions showed that he didn't care about if the others saw. He couldn't care less of what Hotch or any of them would say. He probably forgot they were even there. In that moment as your fingers were tangled into his hair, you, too, felt like you two were the only ones in the room, like the whole world had stopped.

His lips were soft against yours, like comfortable pillows or fluffy clouds. Yours were always in rhythm with his. It was hard to break away until his tongue rubbed against your bottom lip, begging for entrance as you felt his hand leave your face and slowly move lower. You had to break away.

"Not the right time, Spence!" I giggled, trying to play off what just happened. I looked around the room. The rest of the gang never left, even Hotch and Rossi were standing in the door frame. They giggled at Spencer's actions as you both tried to fix yourselves.

"Well, I'm very happy for the both of you," said Hotch with a smile, "but we'll talk about this once this vacation is over. I won't be your boss right now."

"How could you? It's nice seeing two young lovebirds connecting like this." said Rossi.

"As long as I have you guys, and Spencer of course, work will never be a problem." I said, ruffling up his hair one more time.

You all ended up passing out at Garcia's (aside from Hotch and Rossi, as they had loved ones to go home to). You snuggled into Spencer's body on the couch, wrapping the blanket around you both. You both were too excited and happy to sleep. The feeling of someone feeling as much love for you as you did them was too much, but in a good way. The two of you started to make out again. You were going to let his tongue attack yours finally, before he spoke after each peck.

"I. Can't. Believe. You're. All. Mine." He whispered.

You smiled after the last peck before you both went back in, tongues going at it like swords. After a hot minute, you each broke away. Your head moved back to his chest, with his hand on top of yours as his other hand played with your hair.

"You want to hear something weird?" I asked.

"Sure," he said, "but nothing that comes out of your mouth is weird to me."

You smiled, playing with his fingers. "I always pictured a moment like this, even before you. Just...my head on someone's chest, hearing their heartbeat. It makes me feel safe. And with you specifically, I feel even safer than I thought I would."

Spencer kissed the top of your head in response. "God, even your mind is beautiful. How is that possible?"

"Says you, Mr.Smarty Pants. With the amount of classics you have stored in there, I'm sure it'd be like walking around a beautiful museum."

"I'm so happy I'm yours, angel."

I snuggled into him more, feeling my eyes getting heavier. "I'm happy I'm yours, too Spence."

"Goodnight, Y/N. I love you."

"I love you, too." I mumbled as we drifted off to sleep.

[cakesunflower]

Two’s A Party [C.H. One Shot]

A/N: So basically I read this sentence prompt that went “If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed, something’s wrong with you” and instantly thought of Calum and viola this was born. Funny how I was legit talking to @5sosnsfw last night about how writing smut is so bleh and then I wrote this about 24 hours later. Calum just does it to me, man.

This is written in 2nd person which I rarely ever do in a proper one shot so enjoy it while it lasts LMAO. This is all just smut/situations leading up to it. 

It’s only about 4k words so...... Happy reading!

The party had died down around two-thirty in the morning, your apartment engulfed in a pleasant, calm lul as opposed to the enjoyable rowdiness your friends brought with them. Besides, it wasn’t even a party, per se. More so a get together with your closest friends where you watched movies, ate lots of food, played board games, and drank even more alcohol. It was a fun way of winding down from the week and getting ready for the weekend, jobs and other adulting commitments making it difficult for you to see your friends as often as you’d like.

Especially those who didn’t stick around for too long, given their lifestyle, vastly different from your own, had them constantly traveling.

“Are you still going?”

Your eyes flickered away from the TV, which was playing an episode of Vampire Diaries—you weren’t sure why; you vaguely remembered one of your friends wanting to watch an episode just for Ian Somerhalder—and you looked up at Calum emerging from the hallway. He was eyeing the glass of wine you were sipping from, his own eyes a bit glassy from the hits he’d taken, curls ruffled a top his head as he slowly made his way over to you.

He was the last one still at your place, the rest of your friends having climbed into their Ubers after bidding goodnight, and you didn’t mind at all. You loved Calum’s company, sober or otherwise, and you didn’t have to tell him he was welcome to stay over for him to know.

You lowered the glass after swallowing the bittersweet sip, a lazy, tipsied smile gracing your lips. It was your second glass of wine—thought that was after a round of ill advised shots Luke wanted to take and a couple of hits from one of your other friend’s pen. You weren’t drunk, but a pleasant, enjoyable buzz hummed through your veins and tickled your skin. Your head kind of felt heavy on your shoulders, nothing you weren’t used to, but it was a welcome feeling.

“Don’t judge me in my own home,” you responded, watching as Calum snorted as he stepped over you. You were sitting on the ground, on a floor cushion that was softer than your couch, back against it as you absently watched the show with a throw blanket on your lap.

You felt the couch subtly move behind you, hearing Calum grunt gently as he laid down, legs dangling over one side of the arm rest as his head rested on the couch near where yours was as you remained seated. “Why’re you sitting on the floor?” Calum asked, voice raspy and just a little bit muffled due to his cheek pressed against the couch.

You licked your lips, tasting the wine, wondering if you should pour some more as you drawled, “Why are you asking so many questions?”

You knew why, of course. He wasn’t entirely sober, and whether he was drunk or high—especially high—it was when every question that ran through Calum’s mind was voiced. His need to know things always took over, asking, asking, asking. And you were always patient with him, always answering, wanting to do your best to feed his hunger of knowing. That’s how it also worked when you told him about the classes you were currently taking in grad school, and he asked you about the lectures and readings. He couldn’t go back to school like he wanted, not yet anyway, so you let him live vicariously through you. Calum always did the same when you asked about his life on the road, the wanderess in you never silenced.. Give and take, always.

Calum was silent for a few moments, the only sound in your apartment coming from the TV as the show continued on. You watched with slightly hooded eyes, unable to truly focus. At this point, you may be more tired than high. But you wanted to enjoy Calum’s company for as long as you could.

“Can I ask you another question?” he finally spoke up, the lazy drawl in his deep voice enticing. When you hummed in response, Calum asked, “What the fuck is sexual abandonment?”

You let out a groan, throwing your head back, just barely grazing Calum’s side where he lay as you felt and heard him chuckle at your reaction. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as thoughts of your ex flashed through your mind, more annoyed than pained. There was no love lost, but Calum was really blowing her shit right now. “Listen, shut up. I can’t believe I dated someone who used that as a reason to break up,” you huffed, straightening your head with a shake of it. Calum’s chuckles were deep behind you, all too amused, as your face scrunched up at the mere thought of your ex-boyfriend. He really had said he was dumping you because of sexual abandonment. You figured that’s why you’d never date a law student again. Or someone named Greg. You snorted as you raised your glass of wine. “I’m surprised he didn’t sue me.”

That only had Calum laughing harder, your smile growing as you swallowed your wine and looked over your shoulder. He was pressing his face on the couch cushion, shoulders shaking from his raspy laughter, and you could see the crinkles by his eyes as he did so. He was fucking adorable.

You bit your smiling lower lip, forcing yourself to look away from him and back at the TV screen, face scrunching up once again in distaste as you sounded disapprovingly, “Ugh.”

“What?” Calum questioned through a somewhat squeaky and endearing voice as his laughter dissolved into chuckles, taking a breath to calm himself down.

“That,” you answered, pouting at the TV as you watched one of the characters kiss the other’s neck, the recipient of it looking far too much like she was enjoying it. You couldn’t relate. “Not fun. Does absolutely nothing.”

From behind you, you heard Calum let out a disbelieving scoff, and without even looking at him you could hear the frown he wore as he said, “If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed, something’s wrong with you, doll.”

You finished off your wine with a roll of your eyes, putting the glass on the coffee table and blinking back some focus as you realized you put it a bit too close to the edge and pushed it further to the center of the table. Settling back against the couch, you informed your Australian friend, “No one I’ve ever been with has turned me on by kissing my neck. Either they just suck at it, or something really is wrong with me.”

Calum clicked his tongue in disapproval, and you felt his right arm wind around you, settling across your collarbones as he remained behind you. You enjoyed his warmth, the closeness not unfamiliar, until he shifted and you felt his lips brush along the shell of your ear as he murmured lowly, “They didn’t know what they were doin’. You need someone who does.”

Either you were drunker than you initially thought, or this was starting to take a turn you hadn’t been prepared for. Still, the sound of his husky voice sent a shiver down your spine, stomach flipping excitedly as you played with him for a brief moment, perhaps as a way of testing to see if you were right about the direction this was headed in. “Let me know if you find anyone willing.”

The hand that was wrapped around you was settled near the nape of your neck, throat working when Calum dragged a finger along the side of it in a featherlight touch. “Already have.”

Yeah. This was definitely going where you realized you desperately wanted it to go.

You inhaled deeply, the anticipation suddenly buzzing your veins more than any of the drinks had, biting the inside of your lower lip as Calum hummed, “Come up here, yeah?”

You moved without much thought, getting up from the floor to scoot up to the couch as Calum had moved, the blanket falling to the floor. Without having you face him, he had you settled between his legs, relaxed, hands settling at the juncture of your thighs where the heat of his touch seeped through the thin material of your leggings. Your heart was thundering your chest, in overdrive as you breathed in the scent of his familiar cologne deliciously mixed with the faint scent of weed, feeling Calum sit up behind you as his chest pressed against your back.

“Relax, doll,” he murmured, voice all too enticing, “just watch your show.”

It had been challenging to focus on the damn show before; did he really think you’d be able to now?

Still, you did as he said, ridding of any tension built from anticipation as you leaned into his sturdy chest, gaze on the show playing on the TV as you felt the first soft pressure of Calum’s lips. He started on your left side, where your neck met your shoulder, and you reveled in the coincidence of your decision to wear a tank top tonight.

Calum’s movements were slow, purposeful, as he pressed close mouthed kisses, starting a trail leading up the side of your neck, and each touch of his soft lips against your skin had you lightly biting your bottom lip. It was embarrassing how the sensation of his lips already had you realizing that, yeah, this was better than anyone else who’d ever tried this on you.

His hands were on your hips, teasingly sliding to the juncture of your thighs, the brush of his fingers flipping your stomach desirably. You weren’t oblivious to the way your heart was picking up its pace, already starting to find it difficult to focus on a bunch of vampires on the TV screen as Calum’s lips reached the spot where your jaw and neck met. The added sensation of his stubble scratching gently against the previous kissed spots, along with the tickling brush of his curls, had you biting your tongue as you tried to keep your breaths steady.

The wine that buzzed in your veins only heightened everything you were feeling, taking in a soft breath when Calum teased your skin with a nibble. Your eyes fluttered as his kisses trailing down started slowly becoming more intense, more playing with your skin with the use of his teeth and tongue, heart leaping in your throat when he chuckled against you. You felt his deep, quiet laughter in his chest against your back. With a squeeze of your hips, Calum murmured, “I can tell you’re already enjoying this.”

You didn’t want to give in too easily—give into what, you weren’t sure—despite leaning your head back just a little against his shoulder, hooded eyes still on the TV as you breathed, “Only a little.”

Calum, of course, took that as a challenge.

He scoffed lightly, bringing his left hand up to cup your right jaw, turning your face towards his as he lifted his head to look at you. The distance between you two was practically nonexistent, and you wondered if his dark, blown out pupils were because of whatever high he may be riding or because of what he was doing to you. You knew yours damn well had to do with him.

There was a boyish, wicked smirk growing on his lips, his hand warm against your cheek, thumb brushing along your lower lip as he leaned in close. You tried to ignore the way your heart jumped when Calum’s lips brushed against yours, just barely, so close but not entirely, as he whispered arrogantly, “You’re a shit liar.”

And then his head was ducking once more, and this time as his lips trailed to your collarbone, you felt the newfound passion behind his kisses—one that you welcomed wholeheartedly.  

The enticing burn of his stubble was soothed by the warm press of his lips, only to be teased unforgivingly with his teeth and tongue as he bit and sucked at your skin, determined to leave marks you both knew you’d wear proudly. Your breath caught in your throat, eyes still on the TV but not at all in focus, head leaned back to willingly give Calum access. Your right hand gripped the edge of the couch, digging into the soft material, while the other had a mind of its own and reached up to bury your fingers in the back of Calum’s head, lost in the strands of his curls.

He took his time with the kisses, never dialing back on the fervor, knowing just how much he was picking up your heart rate as he felt your body react to him. It drove him crazy, hearing the small gasps and sharp inhales you sounded every time he added a new mark to paint your skin with, wondering if you could feel just what you were doing to him, too. You could.

Calum’s hand that was gripping your jaw shifted, just a fraction, enough to allow for his thumb to slip past your lips, grip on your thigh tightened when you, without hesitation, wrapped your lips around the thumb and sucked. “Fuck,” Calum groaned breathily, lips dragging on your skin as you didn’t even try to hide the smirk that threatened to grow.

He kissed another mark he left on you before lifting his head, lips no longer on your skin and thumb no longer in your mouth. Your eyes met his dark ones, his no longer glazed from the weed but solely because of you, barely giving you a chance to let out a breath as Calum used the hand that held your jaw to turn you towards him more, closing the gap as his lips that had been teasing your neck for God knows how long finally met yours in a searing, toe curling kiss.

The two of you moved, lips never leaving one anothers as you turned to straddle Calum where he sat, the TV in the background drowned out by the sounds of your sharp breathing as you kissed, suddenly feeling a bit too constrained by the clothes that you both wore. You felt yourself easily getting lost in the feel of Calum’s lips against yours, working perfectly as the kiss deepened and the tongue that had been teasing your neck effortlessly slid against yours. Your fingers gripped the hem of Calum’s shirt, and he easily got the message as he reached behind to grip the material off his back and lift it off of himself completely, the kiss breaking for a brief moment that you used to take off your own tank top.

You grinned lazily at the sight of his unruly curls, messed up by your own fingers and the act of taking off his shirt, biting down on your lower lip as you noticed Calum watching you watch him. The incredulity of this whole situation wasn’t lost on either of you, but it wasn’t something you wanted to think about. That would come later.

So for now, Calum wrapped his arms around your waist before getting up effortlessly with your legs around him, smirking at the startled exclaim that fell past your lips as Calum lowered you onto your back on the couch, getting on his knees above you. Reaching your hand forward, you gripped the pendant of the necklace he wore, tugging him down to connect your lips once more, mouth craving to slant against his as Calum eagerly returned the kiss. He used one hand to plant by your head to keep himself above you, the fingers of the other digging under the band of your leggings and panties and giving them a quick tug downwards.

You couldn’t help the giggle that fell past your lips as you helped him in taking off the offending materials, the kiss breaking as he sat up to rid himself of his own pants. Both of your movements weren’t as frenzy as the pace of your heats, taking your time in ridding the clothes despite the pressing urge to once again close the gap between the two of you.

You looked up at Calum, your breathing heavy, as he sat on his knees between your legs, gaze never leaving yours as he rolled on the condom he’d taken out from his wallet. You wondered if his lips once again craved yours, wondered if his felt electric from the kisses shared while yearning for more, admiring the pinkness of his mouth from treating you so well.

There was a heat firing up your body as Calum openly admired you as well, laying bare all for him. Did he also find this turn of events unexpected? Was he also grateful things had taken this path, just like you were? Because fuck it if you never imagined getting to be with him like this, savoring every piece of him for as long as you could.

He leaned down to kiss you again, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt his chest press against yours, gasping into his mouth when his finger teased your slick folds. Calum’s lips curled into a smirk, the rasp of his voice chilling as he groaned at your wetness and mused, “No one could’ve turned you on like this except for me, doll.” Your fingers dug into his shoulders, nails sensually dragging across his skin as he added another finger into you. “Always remember that.”

As if you could ever forget.

You were lucky that Calum took mercy on you, hearing the whimper you released and he swallowed amidst your kiss, pumping his fingers a few times, dragging them against your walls, admiring your tightness before pulling them out and teasing your entrance with the tip of his cock. Being verbal wasn’t something you found yourself capable of, all of the sensations starting from the second Calum had pressed his lips to your neck to now overwhelming you, but you knew Calum and you knew he would wait until you gave him the go ahead.

So you kissed him, tugging at his lower lip with your teeth, the press of his chest against yours syncing your heartbeats, as you begged, “Please, Cal.”

He reveled in the moan you let out as he buried himself inside of you, the kiss breaking as your eyes shut and head tilted back at the sensation of him filling you. Calum dropped his lips to your throat, curls and eyelashes brushing against your skin as he squeezed his own eyes shut at the feel of you around him, snug and right. He cursed under his breath, guttural and blissed, feeling the confirming squeeze you gave his bicep a moment later that allowed him to create a pace that effortlessly drove you both crazy.

One leg on the couch while the foot of the other planted itself on the ground, Calum so easily hit that spot that had your heart jumping and head dizzying. You were overwhelmed by him; by him filling you up so well, by his lips on your throat, by the hand that wasn’t holding him up reaching between the two of you so his thumb could toy with your clit.

Calum lifted his head, taking in the flush of your cheeks and blissed out look in your eyes as you looked up at him through a hooded gaze, and he couldn’t be more entranced if he tried. He smirked breathlessly, nipping at your lower lip, grunts falling past his throat as he praised, “Take me so well, baby. How’s it feel knowin’ only I can get you like this?”

You let out a sharp breath, the urge to feel his lips against you strong as you confirmed breathlessly, “So good,” before kissing him like your life depended on it because, honestly, it felt as though it did.

The familiar coil in the pit of your stomach tightened as Calum kept his pace, thumb still circling your clit, and you knew that Calum knew you well enough at this point. You didn’t realize how well until he urged, “Let go, baby.”

Stars exploded behind your eyelids as you felt yourself do just that, the satisfied, blissed out sounds you let out music to Calum’s ears as his own release soon followed, burying his head in the crook of your neck so you could feel the press of his lips and scratch of his stubble. Even the pendant of his necklace dragging across your skin sent shivers down your spine, the mix of all these heavenly sensations taking over in the best way possible.

Your breathing was labored, as was Calum’s, whimpering softly as he pulled out of you and rid of the condom in the makeshift garbage bag made from one of the empty takeout bags. Calum then picked up the blanket and you lazily shifted over as much as you could towards the back of the couch, letting Calum settle next to you—though you ended up a bit on top of him. Neither of you minded.

You stared up at the ceiling, willing your heart to calm down as you reveled in the warmth of Calum’s bare body against yours in the minimal space your couch offered. The blanket reached up far enough to cover your chest, Calum’s toes just barely peeking out from the other end. He’d propped his head on the armrest, your own laying against his chest as his fingers lightly trailed up and down your arm as his own stayed wrapped around your shoulders. The TV was still on, as was that damned show, though neither of you paid it any attention. How could you, when you’d just done what you did?

Your stomach was still fluttering, lips electric, biting them before breaking the silence between you two. “So I guess nothing was wrong with me. Everyone else just sucked.”

Calum let out a deep chuckle at that as his fingers that had been dancing on your arm trailed over to your neck, brushing against the sensitive spots that were blooming into the bruises he’d intentionally left. Voice a low murmur, the smirk ever present, he responded smugly, “I know.”

You scoffed, lightly smacking his chest with the back of your hand, earning another laugh from him. Reaching your hand up, you took Calum’s that was trailing along your neck and played with his fingers, a thought popping in your head as you bit the inside of your cheek. Watching your fingers play with his, you dared yourself to hum, “Know what I’ve been wondering?”

He allowed you to pull off one of his silver rings before taking it between his fingers and sliding it over your thumb, the only place it’d fit. “What’s that?”

You took a silent breath, preparing yourself as the anticipation started building up without much doing. Tilting your head, you looked up to meet Calum’s curious gaze, his eyebrows quirking at the not-so-innocent smirk tilting at your lips. “If the rumors about your head game are true.”

His eyes darkened and you knew you had his attention—not that you’d ever lost it. And when your smirk widened, biting your lip, Calum’s own wicked one came out to play, already pulling off the blanket to make his way towards your sensitive heat. Your heart jumped, gasping as he got to his knees on the floor and gripped your hips to turn your body towards him, smirking up at you from between your legs as he taunted, “Only one way to find out.”  

--

tags: @irwinkitten @sweetcherrymike @meetashthere @loveroflrh @softforcal @astroashtonio @hereforlukescruff @novacanecalum @captain-what-is-going-on @angelbbycal @singt0mecalum @hopelessxcynic @lfwallscouldtalk @bodhi-black @findingliam-o @softlrh @calntynes @calumsmermaid @erikamarie41 @quintodosuniversos @longlastingdaydream @babylon-corgis @lukehemmingsunflower @spideyseavey @imfuckin10plybud @pastelpapermoons @conquerwhatliesahead92 @rotten-kandy @metangi @neigcthood @ohhmuke @old-zeppelin-shirt @5sos-and-hessa @trustmeimawhalebiologist @vxlentinecal @pettybassists @vaporshawn @lu-my-golden-boi @visualm3nte @isabella-mae13 @dontjinx-it @lifeakaharry @neonweeknds @antisocialbandmate @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave @calpalbby @grreatgooglymoogly @sunnysidesblog @cocktail-calum @miahelizaaabeth @madelynerin @dramallamawithsparkles @theagenderwhocriedwolf @kaytiebug14 @hoodskillerqueen @bitchinbabylon @empathycth @xhaileyreneex​ @inlovehoodx​ @calistheloml @aestheticrelated​ @bloodlinecal​ @sublimehood​ @madbomb​ @raabiac @britnicole11​ @outofmylimitcal​ @wildflower-cth​ @bloodmoonashton​ @vxidhood​ @tea4sykes @wildflowergrae​ 

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

Shag, Marry, Kill

Harry Hart x Reader Request Warnings: Drinking Word Count: 1,605 A/N: I’m back! Although I wasn’t really gone, I see all your likes and messages. Thank you! Also, I have no first-hand experience in going to parties and playing the games mentioned below except for beer pong, forgive me. To Anon, I hope I met your expectations, and again thank you for the request! Request: “Could you do a lovely thing? A harry hart x reader where eggsy threw a birthday party and harry got too drunk and they took advantage of his drunkenness and asked him a bunch of stuff. They played shag, marry, kill and he only wants to shag and marry the reader. Make it fluff or smut, totally up to you. Thanks.”

Kingsman's resident wizard deserves all the good things in this world for everything he's been doing for the agency. And for his birthday, Eggsy organized a party for him, and has asked you for help. You were tasked with the food since according to Eggsy, he's not posh and not a foodie unlike you, but for the drinks, Eggsy said he's got it all handled.

Everyone at Kingsman was of course invited. It felt kind of odd to see the staff and the agents in their casual attire.

It was a surprise party, Eggsy managed to persuade Merlin to "come over at his place for some drinks and board games" this weekend, and he also had to tell him that you guys would need “pairs of two to play, otherwise game night wouldn't happen.”

"SURPRISE!!!" Everyone shouted in sync when Merlin arrived.

"Oh my!" Merlin clutched his chest. "Happy birthday, Merlin!" You went in to give the man a hug, Harry and Eggsy followed and gave him a hug, too.

The party was pretty casual, everyone was just eating, drinking, and mingling around. People were complementing the food and were asking you about it.

Merlin declaring a toast and saying his gratitude wrapped the party, some of the guests started to bid their goodnights. But little did you know, Eggsy has more plans. According to him, it's now the beginning of the after party.

“It’s still a bit early to call it a night, how ‘bout we play some games?”

Eggsy started setting up the table for a game of flip the cup. He divided the remaining guests equally into two teams. It was intense. Everyone seems to manage to flip their cups after one try, only the ones who've already had too much to drink were the ones who struggled. An eruption of laughter and cheers filled the room.

Your team, with the guest of honor Merlin, won the first round. By the third and the last round, everyone's alcohol level had increased and seemed to be failing and laughing at their own failures, making the game harder than it really was. Your team managed to finish first, while the opposing team was left with two more cups. Apparently, some of your colleagues are not all stiff and posh, as was previously assumed. Well, the ones that stayed anyway. After the game, more people decided to head home.

"Now does anyone would like to play a round of beer pong?" Eggsy asked. "Eggsy why don't you play? I'll sit this one out." Eggsy has planned all of this and deserves to have fun as well. He took your suggestion and he paired off with Merlin. Merlin then encouraged his closest friend to play against them, to which Harry surprisingly agreed and chose Percival as his beer pong partner.

It was absolutely entertaining to watch these skilled marksmen play beer pong when they've already had a few drinks, though they're still somehow sharp with their aims. By the second round, they were getting really competitive and really drunk. You were secretly rooting for Harry and Percival to win against your best friend. And to your satisfaction, they did. It was refreshing to see your colleagues having this much fun. It was getting really late and more guests, including Percival, decided to call it a night. After a while, it was just you, Harry, Merlin, and of course, Eggsy who were left.

You were eating a slice of cake when Eggsy apparently has another game in mind. He asked, "Drunk Jenga?" to which you and Merlin replied "nah” at the same time. Looks like Eggsy really did his research in throwing a party. Although this was more of a young adult type of party rather than a posh formal party. Eggsy then suggested “Never Have I Ever.”

You started off with an easy one such as never have I ever got a tattoo. Eggsy and Merlin were also saying casual statements such as never have I ever given a fake name or never have I ever had a speeding ticket. Except for Harry, who were saying things like never have I ever peed in the pool, or never have I ever smoked weed. It was only after a few more series of never have I evers that the three of you started to realize just how drunk Harry Hart is.

The game slowly turned from finding out each other’s little secrets to finding out Harry’s secrets, or things he wouldn’t normally share when sober. Whether he drinks or he doesn't, one of you asks him further about it. Harry was very obliging and he answers each question to the best of his abilities. Fortunately, he’s still able to form coherent sentences. It went on and on, and Harry had no clue with what the three of you were up to. At some point you started to feel sleepy, and the four of you eventually ran out of things to say.

It was past midnight. You're sprawled on the sofa. Harry was sitting on your right, Merlin’s on the couch, and Eggsy was sitting on the floor. "Okay, okay, here’s the last thing we’ll play. We'll take turns, amongst the three of us, excluding yourself of course. Name who'd you shag, marry, and kill.” Eggsy looks around the group to see if you understood him. "I'll start," Eggsy said. "Bruv, I’d marry you, shag Harry, and kill Merlin. No hard feelings, Merlin."

“Aye, I’d also marry (Y/N). I’m afraid to say I’d rather kill my best friend than shag him, which leaves you Eggsy.” Merlin said. "You’d shag me, eh?” Eggsy playfully winked at Merlin and everyone laughed. "How ‘bout you, (Y/N)?”

“Sorry Eggs, I’m with Merlin on this one, I’d have to kill you. I’d shag Merlin, and I’ll marry Harry. Not just because it rhymes.” That earned a chuckle from the group.

“How about you Harry, who’d you shag, marry and kill?” Merlin asked him.

“Merlin, it’s mutual, I’d have to kill you too. Your genius can be a great threat to this world. And I'd shag (Y/N), and also marry (Y/N).” Harry said.

Hearing that seemed to snap you out of your sleepiness and drunkenness. Harry just drunkenly confirmed Merlin's suspicions. "Bruv, that's not how the game works, you —" Eggsy stopped when he realized what just happened.

When Harry drank to never have I ever fallen in love, you just chalked it up with him being drunk. Since Harry has once admitted that he has never experienced companionship, you simply assumed the man hadn't also experienced falling in love with someone.

And now you realize Harry's kind and subtle sweet gestures towards you wasn't a figment of your imagination just because you adore the man. 

The silence was interrupted by Merlin, "Eggsy, I think we should start cleaning-up." Leaving you with Harry to talk about what happened.

The two of you sat in silence. Unsure where to start.

"I like you, (Y/N), very much." Harry had too much liquid courage and he started to admit his feelings. "I know you might think I'm sad, and old, and that's gross. And I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it, being close to you, seeing you almost every day, I was feeling these inner stirrings whenever you're near, whenever you laugh, whenever you smile. You’re amazing, you’re smart. You’re someone I never thought I’d need... you’re all I want... and I, I... I just...” He trailed off.

"And you're a cute blabbering mess, Harry. I'd kiss you right now if you weren't so drunk." You replied

"You?... You would?" Harry wasn't sure if he heard you right. You took his hand and assured him, "yes, I would kiss you." Harry started leaning in to you slowly, you saw him close his eyes and then he fell asleep. You laughed a hearty laugh and it was heard all over Eggsy's flat.

"Well, someone's having fun." You heard Eggsy shout from across the hall. "Man down!" And you continued laughing. You let Harry sleep while you helped them clean up the place.

Once finished, you tried to wake Harry up. It took a few attempts before he started to stir. "Come on Harry, I'll take you home." He groggily responded with "really?" "Yes, you silly, you need to go home."

Merlin offered to help you, seeing as how Harry is taller than you, and drunk. It wouldn’t be easy to put him in a cab or take him upstairs to his room.

“Bruv, don’t take advantage of Harry while he’s drunk.” Eggsy jokingly told you before you left.

Once you and Merlin managed to put drunk Harry in bed, he said thank you and "(Y/N) please don't leave." You squeezed his hand and gave him a kiss on the forehead, "I won't."

"Thank you Merlin, guess I'll just crash on his couch." "Thanks to you too, (Y/N), the food was amazing. And don't tell Eggsy, I kinda knew. He wasn't very discreet with his plans." "Yeah, I had a feeling. Let's not break his heart." Merlin chuckled. "Thanks again, and good night."

You took the liberty of raiding Harry's closet for some pajamas and a blanket, and found a notepad by his desk.

"Harry,

As promised, I didn't leave. I'm downstairs if you need me. I also took the liberty of raiding your closet for something to wear. And I would also be raiding your pantry for breakfast, or I may have already done so by the time you're reading this.

P.S. I like you too, very much.

- (Y/N) "

[queenieschronicles]

Vide Cor Meum VI

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary: What would a man do to protect his family, wealth, and business? Marry his daughter off to Birmingham’s most ambitious: Thomas Shelby.

Word Count: 1302

Warnings: N/A

A/N: Sorry about that! I had a busy weekend and then my Google doc got deleted, so I put off rewriting this.

Parts: i | ii | iii | iv | v



The following days felt more familiar to you. You and Elliot shared laughs over afternoon tea. You got to flaunt a couple new outfits you'd custom-ordered from a tailor in France. There was games of "Are you There, Moriarty?" and "Charades" in the parlor with Elliot and friends.

You hadn’t dreamt much of what your life would be like as a wife or lady of the house. As you looked at your friends laughing and drinking by the fireside, you knew this is what it ought to have been.

His cool gaze caught your eye from the mantle. That odd photograph of you and your husband was a cruel reminder of your reality. For as long as he was gone, you would hold on to this pretend life. You'd keep it safe, tucked away within a dollhouse and its fictious walls.

With your mind preoccupied, the night seemed to carry on without you. No one missed a beat. The laughter and splendor carried on, until you parted with your friends at the front door.

"Bye Mary! Goodbye, Sylvie! Rupert, get them home safe! Help poor Mary get William inside!" You waved.

You were always a little sad when they left. A warm hand squeezed your shoulder and you leaned back into his warmth. He was your reminder that you were never left alone.

There was a fine line that would were dancing with Elliot. There wasn't room in a marriage for more than two people. Flowers compete with weeds. There can be no harmony there. For as knowledgeable about gardening as you were, you'd forgotten that those flowers need tending and weeding to survive.

You stepped out from his embrace reluctantly. You cast a bashful look to the floor and then up where Mary's scrutinizing gaze was. There was no hiding this from Thomas, but you'd taken safety measures.

"To bed, then. Goodnight, Elli. Thank you for keeping me company and watching out for me while Thomas is gone." You had barely talked of Tommy since Elliot had been here. Around Mary though, you felt like it was necessary to clear the air.

You two walked up the stairs. Elliot was always one step behind making sure you never lost your footing. At the top, you turned to him and gave him a hug.

"Thank you. Really."

He smiled," Always, (Y/N/N). You have always been the one."

Your cheeks burned with anxiety and embarrassment. A part of you yearned to let old feelings come forward, but you knew that was not okay.

You smiled and nodded. You backed up toward your room down the hall. "Goodnight, Elliot," you called," I will see you in the morning."

You nearly turned and ran into your room. You groaned. These were the problems in your life. Had you been able to make all of the decisions, none of this would have ever happened. You could have avoided all of this all together.

You sat by your vanity for some time. You ran the brush through your hair over and over. It be came a source of calming. You went to bed that night with much still on your mind.

You leaned over and blew the candle out and nestled back into your pillows.

You counted sheep.

You made plans for tomorrow.

You thought happy thoughts.

You twiddled your thumbs.

Finally, something happened.

He hadn't knocked. You could sense he had been hesitant to answer. After all, he had inferred earlier that you were always supposed to be his.

He was agile in the night and you wondered how he could see with the majority of the moonlight blocked by your curtains.

"Elliot, I've been thinking about it too…" you sighed deeply. He would surely be gone tomorrow when you told him you couldn't betray your vows to Tommy.

He said nothing but continued moving. You paused," Elliot, you can't be here.. I know. I never wanted this to happen. I have been scared to be alone. You made me feel safe here…"

You vomited all of that out until silence seeped in between you. For once, it was uncomfortable.

" I'm sorry Elliot." Anxiety rose like hot bile in your throat. You understood that he was probably disappointed and jaded. "Elliot?" The figure was still.

Your breath hitched. The hairs on your neck pricked. Something wasn't right.

The figure lurched forward. Your bed creaked and groaned under its weight. You thrashed wildly. The sheets tangled around your ankles holding you hostage.

Meaty hands clutched your body tightly. You attempted to scream but it was strangled by a pillow and then two hands around your throat.

You bashed your hands against the stranger. If you were to die, it would not be without a fight.

Your lungs burned. You ached for air. His hands mashed up against your trachea. For a moment, you felt disconnected from your body. Almost painless. You felt the bruises. You felt the pressure. It was all just numb and fading. You squeezed your eyes shut willing a different picture. If this was your last image, you didn’t want it to be a grim shadow.

Weightless.

You opened your eyes as the crushing pressure released and the shadow was replaced by dim moonlight. You heard the crash of a body.

"Never fuck with a Shelby." His malice was charged.

You watch transfixed on the revolver in his hand. There was a click, silence, and then a shot rang out into the night. You were frozen there. You hadn't even felt his hands on you. Your body was shaking but you couldn't tell if it was him or your nerves.

Then his voice brought you back," (Y/N).. Hey, I need you to look at me. (Y/N/N), I've got you. I won't let anything happen to you." You were not used to such softness. It looked weird on him. 

You blinked a couple times. Hot, fresh tears stained your face. Tommy pulled you into his arms. He held you close as you sobbed into his shoulder. You were finally safe enough to crumble.

You hadn't a clue about the time, but it felt like forever that he comforted you. You steadied yourself and sat back.

He kneeled at your legs and looked up at you. His eyes didn't miss a detail. You sniffled and brought a sleeve to your nose. There was no time for propriety right now.

"Y- You came back." You choked out. Your voice was hoarse and dry. You wondered if you'd always feel ghost hands wrapped around your throat.

Thomas reached up and brushed a tear from your cheek." You're my wife. I'd never leave you." He may have had many faults, but his loyalty wasn't one.

You tried to look over to the corpse, but Tommy made you look back at him. " I don't understand.. what did I do?" You began to sob softly into your hands.

Tommy took a seat beside you and pulled you into his embrace. He smoothed your hair over your shoulders and planted his lips on your head." I'm sorry,(Y/N/N), I should have listened to you. I'll never leave you alone like that again."

"He didn't come.." you whimpered. 

"Come again, my sweetheart?" He stiffened.

"Elliot.. he was here. I thought it was him.. why didn't he come?" You cried numbly. 

Despite a searing-hot anger that bubbled underneath the surface, Thomas listened to you babble on about how he was here. He should have heard. Something didn't sit well with Thomas.

As he held you, there was a lot about his trip and what your father had been scared of that were just now starting to make sense.

They had made a fatal error in their pursuit. They'd fucked with you. They had fucked with Mrs. Shelby.

[honey-makki]

Characters: Dachi Sawamura X GN!Reader

Summary: There’s a 104 days of summer vacation… which means it comes to an end.

Warnings: alcohol and weed usage

Song: august - taylor swift

Genre: fluff?

Word Count: 1.3k+

A/N: moving forward is always a weird and stressful thing so being able to find some form of solace, some stability is incredibly valuable. I really love this folklore series allowing me to explore difficult topics like the last few fics but also things as fulfilling as this.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The end of life as you knew it was today. Today, March 1st, you graduated from Karasuno High School. The graduation took a good portion of the morning and left you along with all of your friends in tears, saying goodbye to the place that acted as fertile soil for you to grow into young adults ready to take on the world.

Each hall holds memories, some good like where you were elected class president, and some bad like the stairwell where you were dumped for the first time, but each is integral to who you are now.

Tonight, Sugawara is hosting a party for everyone to close out this part of your life, surrounded by friends and peers you may not see again. You head over to Kiyoko’s house to get ready with her and do her hair. She lent you a purple dress with a deeper v than she felt comfortable wearing, and saying the color would compliment your skin tone.

Once the two of you finish with your makeup and getting dressed, you leave for Suga’s. Tanaka and Noya meet you outside of Kiyoko’s to escort you there saying something about protecting your honor or fighting off men who want to defile you. You know Suga invited the volleyball team so it is to be expected. Their jaws dropping and literal drool hanging out of their mouths when they see the two of you also isn’t a surprise but it always does something for your self confidence.

The short walk over to Suga’s house was filled mostly by the boys lamenting their love for you and how they didn’t know how to go on next year with you. You Hear them, but aren’t really listening. Opting to reminisce on the moments you enjoyed and the opportunities that you wish you took in the past three years.

You are thankful you joined the volleyball club with Kiyoko. You wish that you would have been more involved in Student Government. You are happy you dated your first boyfriend. You are not thankful you dated your second one. You are thankful for Asahi’s help with Japanese Literature.

---------------------------

The good moments vastly outweigh the bad, and overall you are content with who you are and what you've done. Sure, you could have had a little more fun, but you graduated at the top of the class and got into the university you dreamed of with a scholarship. A satisfied smile graces you lips as you open the door to Sugawara’s very packed house.

His parents were gone for the weekend getaway, although you expected they knew his plans. The beat of music resonates beneath the hum of laughter and conversation. Tanaka and Noya almost make it to the kitchen, before Yachi catches their eye. You and Kiyoko can handle yourselves, Yachi on the other hand? She needs their help.

You find yourself in a game of spin the bottle with many of your peers, everyone multiple drinks deep and generally just letting loose. Once it’s your turn, you finish your drink and let the liquid courage assist your spin. Of course. The bottle points at astudy man whose back is resting against the couch and is sporting a ready grin.

Never backing down from a challenge you let the alcohol move you, every drop of it fueling each step towards him until you take initiative and sit in his lap. His hands immediately are on your hips pulling you into him for a kiss.

Neither of you wanted to be the one to back down in front of your classmates. But even more so you didn’t want to lose the allure of his lips on yours or the soft hair that your hands we’re running through. it was intoxicating, more so than the rum and coke you could taste in his lips or the vodka cran you had just finished.

The sharp sound of something shattering, broke the moment. Suga and a few others shot up and ran over towards the sound, curses stumbling out of their mouths just like their feet.

You and Daichi did not follow. Your forehead resting against his, staring into his eyes, trying to understand what he was feeling, what he wanted. You didn’t figure it out before his large hands cupped your head and pulled you into another, albeit much softer kiss. Tonight, this is what you both wanted.

————

That was the start of the best summer of your life. Daichi walked your home soon after the silly drinking game. Ever the gentleman he walks you up to your door and turns away to leave without making a move, but you can’t hide laugh.

“Daichi, you’re really gonna kiss and run? Not even give me a goodnight one? Some suitor you are.” Each word soaked in the alcohol of the sweet mixed drinks you consumed. Playful and flirting, nothing too serious but an invitation he is more than welcome to take.

And take he does. His lips are slanted against yours faster than you expected. A deep and hungry kiss, one that wants more than it can have. While you want nothing more than to kiss Daichi until you are both panting out of breath, you are standing on your front porch and anyone could walk out.

Pulling away from him, you squeeze his shoulders and he’d to the door but before opening it you offer him another invitation. “Thanks for walking me home. I’ll see you soon, Dai?”

————

It seemed like you saw Daichi everyday. In between packing for college and seeing your friends for the last time in a while, he was there. Varying from a quick lunch date just enjoying each other, to late night drives talking about the future or even the rare afternoon the two of you did edibles and just laid around talking about conspiracies.

It was rarely planned, either of you shooting the other a message asking if they wanted to hang out. The spontaneity that spurred the beginning of this continued. What you were doing wasn’t ever really discussed, both of you just enjoying the time you had together.

You both were attending the same university in the fall, but never talked about what that specifically means for you two. It comes to a head when your parents walk in on you watching a movie one day. The scene they saw was nothing obscene but rather heartwarming and you knew the look on your mother's face, one that indicated a bunch of questions coming later.

He agreed to go on a drive instead of finishing the movie and probably knew that you were going to talk about this.

“Dai, I don’t really know what we are and I enjoy seeing you and spending time with you and kissing you but like I need to know what this is. Is it just fun? Is it the beginning of more? It’s ok either way but I just need to understand.”

“Y/N, this started as fun and it always has been fun. I know we both mentioned not wanting to be tied down going into university but I don’t want to diminish the fact that we are good together. Maybe we just keep this as a summer fling and reassess when we get to uni? I don’t know. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t—“

You can see the tension and nerves building in his body and the words tumbling out of his mouth becoming shaky.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, Daichi I’m here. Shh. You aren’t going to lose me. I think that sounds great. Let’s enjoy the rest of the summer together and just see what uni is like. We can continue this if we want to but no obligation. This is fun, not stressful.”

Your words are accompanied by your hands swiftly massaging tension out of his shoulders and neck and moving up to cup his cheeks. Unlike the beginning of this, now you saw trust and yearning in his eyes. It was a comfortable sight you had grown to value. A sight you never wanted to lose, but content that you had the opportunity to see it.

Maybe you hope that you and Daichi ended up together and maybe he did too. But even if he didn’t, this summer was fun and worth every single second.

Tags

@ceo-of-daichi @roandtheroses @sugawara-sweetheart @nonexistent-social-life @iguessimastannow

To be added to either my folklore specific or general tag list, send me an ask :)

[obxlife]

Road Tripping (Rafe x Reader)

A/N: Okay so this is going to be my last Rafe fic for a while because I have a ton of JJ requests and a Kiara request in my inbox at the moment! Enjoy this last piece of Rafe! Also, I didn’t really like this much, but it was really the best I could do. It was really hard trying to create a “new Rafe” (if you can call it that).

Pairing: Rafe x Reader

Word count: 2,422

Request: maybe in an AU where Rafe semi tolerates the Pogues lol but him and the reader maybe have a little bit more tension or something between them. They all go on a road trip (maybe somewhere snowy??) and Rafe and reader are stuck sitting next to each other, rooming together, etc. - he watches her goof off and have fun the whole weekend + somehow they end up realizing they’d be good “friends” (deep down both kind of wanting more than that 🥺)

Summary: In an AU where Rafe is more like Sarah than Ward, the Pogues and Rafe head out on a road trip to celebrate the fact that they had the gold. Here, Rafe and the reader find themselves bunking together. 

Warnings: Nothing, I think. 

ROAD TRIPPING

The Twinkie smelled of JJ’s and Kie’s weed. The smell made your nose turn up a little as you tried to open a window in the back. Rafe grunted as your arms pressed against his chest when you tired to do so, and softly pushed you back into your seat before opening the window beside him. 

“It’s hard to open a window if you have to lean across someone to do so,” Rafe teased you. “You should have just asked me to do it, as I am right beside it.”

You crossed your arms and pouted at his retort as John B and Sarah turned the volume up on the radio. 

It was your third day on the road and you completely and utterly sick of it. The only good thing about today was that you were finally going to be arriving at the ski lodge in Colorado where you had planned this trip. And you were so excited to learn how to ski. 

Having been a Pogue your whole life meant no money. No money for trips outside of the island, no money for expensive sports, and no money for basic necessities sometimes. You, Pope, John B, and JJ knew about these struggles all too well. 

Rafe, Sarah, and Kie, on the other hand, had already been skiing before and knew exactly what to do. 

The trip had been planned by the Pogues, which meant everybody except for Rafe, about three months ago. It had been the middle of autumn when you had finally gotten hold of the gold and managed to change some of it for money. You had exclaimed that you should have a road trip together and everybody jumped up in agreement. Which led you to where you were now.

Everybody had paid for their part of the trip and was ready to head out in a week when Sarah had approached the group with some bad news.

“Rose said she would only let me go if Rafe came, too.”

Everybody groaned. Sure, we all tolerated Rafe, but that didn’t mean that we wanted to go on the road trip for the Pogues with him. 

Rafe was tolerable at most. He had helped you guys get the gold from his father, but that was about where the good in him ended. He had a long history with JJ and John B which consisted of many fistfights and screaming matches. Those had stopped after he had helped the Pogues out, but it didn’t mean that the tension between him and the tight-knit group of friends had dissipated. 

And so Rafe went on the road trip with all of you. Sarah was beaming in her seat when you had all agreed, and after loading his bags in the back of the Twinkie, you had headed off into the rising sun of that morning. 

The Pogues had planned a seating chart to avoid getting into fights with Rafe. It revolved around him, which meant that if he changed his seat, you would all change yours to fit the seating chart. You, being the one that Rafe got along best with, were required to sit next to him at all times. This was decided because, according to Sarah, Rafe had a crush on you and wouldn’t want to get into a fight if you were right next to him. 

Begrudgingly, you agreed. 

Rafe loved the fact that he was seated next to you. What Sarah had said was true, but he would never admit that to you. He had tried to spark up some conversation with you during the first day that you were traveling, but you had shot him down pretty quickly, preferring to talk to the rest of Pogues. 

Rafe, feeling as if he was not very wanted on the trip, plugged his earphones into his ears and shut his mouth. That was how he had been the rest of the time the group was in the Twinkie.

Soon enough, JJ, Kie, and Pope had fallen asleep in the seats behind you. You, on the other hand, were wide awake. You had tried to talk to John B and Sarah, but you realized that they also seemed to be extremely tired. 

“John B,” you called out, “Let me drive and you can sleep back here. Rafe and I can take the front seats.”

John B didn’t need to be told twice. You nudged Rafe once the Twinkie had parked at a gas station. 

“What?” he asked pulling one of his earphones out of his ear. 

“C’mon,” you told him, opening the door, “I’m driving and I need you to talk to me while I drive. Plus, Sarah and John B are tired so they’re sleeping back here.”

Rafe only nodded and followed you out, letting his sister and her boyfriend lay on the seats that had been occupied by him and his crush. 

Buckling up, you turned the car on and pulled onto the interstate. The music coming from the radio was bothering you, so you turned the radio off. Rafe sat in the passenger’s seat quietly, shuffling his hands. 

“Rafe,” you said, gaining his attention. 

“Uh, yeah?”

“When I said I needed you to talk to me I meant it.”

“Oh,” was all he could think of to say. 

You sat in silence for a couple of minutes until you sighed and said, “Rafe, how old are you again?”

“Nineteen.”

You nodded. “What college do you go to?”

“Chapel Hill,” he began. “My dad went there. And my grandfather, too. So it was obvious I had to go there, too.”

You frowned at that as you swerved onto the left lane. “It isn’t obvious. You could have gone anywhere else to college.”

Rafe laughed. He looked at you and explained, “My dad would have had a heart attack if I went anywhere else.”

You nodded as if you understood, checking your mirrors before braking a bit. 

“Have you thought about where you want to study?”

You processed his question and tried to think of an answer. Truth was, you didn’t have one. “College was never an option for me. Well, not until now.”

Rafe nodded as if he understood. “Well, have you thought about what you might like to study?”

You smiled thinking of all the things you liked. There was one that stood out to you. “I like writing. And art. And a lot of other things, but mostly writing. Is there a career that has to do with that?”

Rafe smiled at your answer, loving the innocent tone of voice you had used to speak to him. “Yeah, I guess. I have some friends that went into writing after school, but I don’t really remember their majors.”

“Oh, good,” you smiled even wider now. “Then I would like to go into writing, I guess.”

Rafe smiled before changing the topic of the conversation. You spoke for the rest of the ride.

************************************

The reception of the hotel was cute and small. And cozy. The snow around you was making your feet numb with cold, and the chains around the wheels of the Twinkie looked glossy from being between the white powder on the ground.

Rafe stepped out of the reception and gave you three keys. 

“So this is cabin 15, which is for two people. Then there’s cabin 18 for three people and cabin 16 for two people. I asked if the were close by, and the woman said that cabin 15 and 16 were right next to each other and that cabin 18 is in front of them, across the road.”

You smiled at him and climbed into the beat-down car again. The heat was on, so it was a lot warmer than outside. JJ had woken up, along with Sarah, and they were discussing something that died down as soon as you and Rafe entered the car. 

“So?” Sarah asked. 

Rafe repeated what he had told you outside to the two blondes. 

“I call rooming with John B!” Sarah said loudly, causing Rafe to glare at her.

“I call rooming with Kie and Pope!” JJ spoke almost at the same time as Sarah.

Your eyes widened, realizing that their arrangements left you to room with Rafe. You didn’t think that was going to be any good. Especially because of the butterfly feelings you had begun to develop around him ever since you had pulled out of the gas station four hours ago. 

This had been JJ’s and Sarah’s plan. To leave you and Rafe together. Unbeknownst to you and Rafe, they had woken up a while ago and had heard a large portion of your conversation. Once you had exited the car and entered the reception of the ski lodge, they had shot up in their place and realized that the other was awake. 

“We have to set them up together,” they had exclaimed at the same time. 

They stared at each other weirdly, not thinking that the other was going to agree with what they said. 

“Y/N needs to get laid, ASAP,” JJ explained. Sarah nodded before saying, “Or she needs to get into a relationship. Just like Rafe.”

JJ had nodded. They knew you didn’t need a relationship, but they knew you wanted to be in one. And besides, what JJ had said was true. You needed to get laid. You had told them many times before when you had been drunk.

“You are not bunking with John B, Sarah,” Rafe said. You took his hand in yours and squeezed it. This turned his attention towards you. 

Sarah was pleading at him to let her sleep with John B, but it was you that truly convinced them. “Just let her sleep with him. They need each other. Especially after the whole gold thing with your dad”

Rafe only nodded his head, realizing only then that the arrangements left you bunking with him. He smiled softly. 

You turned the car’s engine on and followed the signs on the road towards your cabins. Once parked, you woke everybody up and unloaded the car. Saying goodnight to the rest of the Pogues, you and Rafe headed into your cabin.

Turning on the light, you smiled. The first room was a living room that was joined to a kitchen and a small dining room. There was a fireplace that was already lit which brought heat into the small building. At the end of the room were two doors. Opening the first, you noticed a small bathroom. From the following door, Rafe said, “Sweet!” before you heard him flop onto a bed. 

Tired, the both of you quickly went to bed and drifted onto sleep. And no, you did not share a bed. There were two in the room. 

******************************************************

Rafe was falling in love with you.

Seeing you goof off during the weekend was enough for him. 

It began with you waking him up the morning after you had arrived. You were extremely excited to learn how to ski, so you were urging him to get up. 

While he got showered and dressed, you played music from your phone and danced around the kitchen, waiting for him to be ready so you could meet up with the Pogues. 

At ten, you were all eating breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant, winter clothes and gear on your bodies. Rafe could only stare and stare as you cracked jokes with JJ and made fun of Pope putting on sunscreen. 

“We’re in the cold, Pope. Why would you need sunscreen?” you giggled.

“I read that the snow works as a reflector of sun rays! I just want to take care of my skin!”

Once on the ski tracks, Rafe helped you put on the ski boots and the skis themselves. He taught you the basics of skiing and left with Kie onto the harder slopes. When he arrived back to where you were, he laughed at the discarded skis at your side. You were making snow angels on the ground. 

When you both arrived back at your cabin, you removed your ski goggles from your face only to find that your cheeks were red. You were sunburned!

Rafe laughed at your groans, and stated, “you should have listened to Pope.”

The following day was similar, but this time, Rafe and Sarah made sure to hire a skiing instructor for the Pogues. They wanted to make sure they actually learned. 

Speeding down the slopes one time, he noticed you in your class. The instructor was in front of the four Pogues that were taking classes slowly drifting down the beginner’s hill. Rafe smiled as he noticed your wobbly knees and the smile on your face. 

The end of the weekend approached a lot faster than you had wanted it to. 

“Why do we have to leave tomorrow morning?” you cried out. Rafe could only laugh, staring at you with love in his eyes. 

“We’ll come back again,” he promised you. “Next year. And for a longer time.”

You went to bed that night dreading the fact that you had to leave. However, you awoke only a couple hours later, freezing. You heard wind rustling outside and moved the curtain to look out of the window. A snowstorm encased the small cabins on the mountain. This probably meant that you were going to have to stay at least one more day before leaving, especially if the roads were blocked. 

You shivered and tried to fall back to sleep, but couldn’t. You sat up and looked at Rafe’s bead, an idea popping into your head. 

You stepped out of your bed and moved towards Rafe’s raising the covers and slipping in. 

Feeling something cold near his legs, Rafe woke up and groggily turned around. He saw you next to him and felt his heart race pick up. 

“Hey,” he whispered to you. 

“I’m sorry I woke you,” you apologized. “But I was freezing and you looked warm.”

Rafe smiled at you and closed his eyes, already drifting off again. He was brought back out of the dream world by you. Your arms had reached out towards his body and brought him closer to you, pressing your head into his chest. 

Rafe returned the gesture, and you immediately felt encased by heat. Sighing happily, you closed your eyes. 

“I’m glad we became friends this weekend,” you spoke out to him. 

Rafe grinned. “Me too.”

The both of you fell asleep, not knowing that the other wished to be more than friends just as much as themselves.

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Fifty-Two

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Wee bit of angst.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

The Friday before he was going to Florida, Christin came into Harry’s office to go over the small details.

“Okay, so you, Julia, and I are going to meet at the airport around-“

“I’m sorry, who?”

“Julia.”

“Why is she comin’?”

“I want her to see how these expeditions work. Dana’s going to join in on the next one. Why? Do you have a problem with her?”

“No…it’s just…I don’t know. It’s fine.”

When he got home to the barren apartment that night he slammed the door shut, making you jump slightly.

“Jesus.” You say to him.

“Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“They’re sendin’ fuckin’ Julia with me.” He groans. “I don’t want to be alone with her all week.”

“Well, you won’t really be alone with her.”

“You don’t care that she’s gonna be around me?”

“What’s there to care about?” You shrug. “What’s wrong Harry, can’t handle a little girl?” You smirk. “You’ll be fine.”

//

Of course you got your period the weekend of the big move. You and Harry were still able to have a good romp before he left, but it wasn’t the same. Your brother and mom came to help you with everything. Thank god for his truck. Niall, Sarah, and Rachel helped as well. Everything went pretty smoothly.

//

Harry had the aisle seat on the plane, Julia had the middle, and Christin had the window. He hadn’t said much to Julia. She eventually fell asleep, and her head landed on his shoulder. He tried to nudge her off, but she wouldn’t budge. He sighed loudly and tried to fall asleep himself. When she woke up she couldn’t help but marvel at just how beautiful he was. She looked at the pearls around his neck and wanted to know what he might do with them when he wasn’t wearing them. She was hoping to find out at some point during the week.

Harry helped carry the luggage out to the cab Christin had set up for them. The second he was alone in his room he FaceTimed with you. Everyone was eating pizza and laughing.

“Hey babe! You in your hotel?”

“Yes, finally. How’d it all go?”

“Amazingly! Say hi to Harry!” You yell off to everyone. They all say hi, making him chuckle.

“Have a great week off.”

“Anything you want me not to touch?”

“Nah, do whatever you like. M’sure there’ll be plenty left for me when I get back. Save the heavy shit f’me.”

“Can do. The girls are gonna sleep over here with me tonight.”

“Oh good. Wish I could be there.”

“Soon enough. Enjoy the nice weather! Love you!”

“Love you too.”

He sighs and flops onto the bed. This was going to be a very long week. There’s a knock on his door. He looks through the peephole and sees Julia. Here we go. He thinks to himself.

“Yes?”

“Hi.” She squeaks. “Um, Christin and I were gonna go down to the pool for a bit and get some lunch. Would you like to come?” He looks down at her. She had flip flops and a cover up on.

“No. Thanks. You can just have Christin text me when it’s time for dinner. Know she wants to go over all the plans then.”

“Could I have your number?” Both of his eyebrows raise. “You know, just in case.”

“Gimme your phone.” She hands it to him and smirks when he see the picture of Joe Jonas as her lock screen. “My girlfriend loves this guy. Could ya unlock it?”

“Oh sure.” She presses her thumb to the button. He adds his contact information and hands it back to her.

“For emergencies only, alright?”

“Alright…so you’re not going to eat lunch?”

“I might come down in a bit. I’m certainly not goin’ swimming. S’not a vacation.”

“True, but Christin said we could have some fun before working hard all week.”

“How nice for her. That all?”

“Yeah.”

He closes the door, practically in her face, and goes over to his bag. About an hour later he goes down to the hotel restaurant. He puts his sunglasses on and goes outside with his salad that he had made to go. Christin was lounging under an umbrella, he goes over to her and sits down.

“How are you wearing all black?”

“S’not that warm yet.” He shrugs.

“I think it’s perfect weather.”

“Where’s Julia?” Christin points to the hot tub. Harry rolls his eyes. “Thought you weren’t hungry for lunch.”

“I wasn’t earlier, now I am.”

“Hi Harry!” Julia says walking by, dripping wet in a purple two piece. She quickly wraps a towel around herself.

“Hi.” He says without looking at her. She was an attractive girl, and if he was a different type of man he wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of the situation. But he wasn’t like that…not anymore anyways.

“Wasn’t it your birthday over the weekend?”

“Yes.”

“How was it? How old are you?”

“It was good, I turned twenty-six.” He takes a bite of his salad. “My girlfriend threw me a huge surprise party.”

“She buy you the necklace too?” Christin asks. “Haven’t seen you wear pearls since you first started.”

“Yeah she did.” He smiles. “She’s the best. We’ll have been together six months on Friday.”

“Wow! Good for you, H.” She chuckles.

“How long you and Dan been together?”

“Little over ten years now. Never thought I was going to meet anyone worthwhile until he and I got together.” He nods.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to meet anyone.” Julia says.

“You have so much time, you have no idea. Just enjoy being young.” Christin says with a smile. “Harry, did you even bring a bathing suit with you?”

“I mean Y/N had me pack one, but I doubt I’ll be wearin’ it.” He finishes up his salad and stands up. “Text me when it’s time for dinner, I’m gonna hang in my room for a bit, decompress.” Julia watches him walk away.

“He’s been so private since I met him, it’s so nice to hear him talk about someone like that. He must really love that girl.”

“Yeah.” Julia puts her sunglasses on and rolls her eyes. “Must be nice.”

//

That night at dinner Christin goes over the plans for the week. She tells them what time they’ll need to be up and out, and headed to the site. They’d be going out to an island where a weed had been taking over and the natural plants of the landscape couldn’t grow anymore. Julia would be interviewing the volunteers that go out to get rid of the weed.

“I’m so excited!” Julia says stepping off the elevator with Harry. Of course their rooms were on the same floor.

“Make sure you pack a hat and some sunscreen for yourself. Oh, and water. We’re goin’ to be out for a long time.”

“Right, thanks.” She beams at him. “I’m excited to check out the butterfly garden at the manatee habitat Wednesday too.”

“Yeah, they’re nice people. This is a follow up piece, they started the project last year.” He stops at his door. “Well, this is me.”

“Goodnight, Harry.”

“Night.”

He calls you immediately.

“Is that Harry? Hiiiiii Harryyyyy.” He hears Sarah say through the phone.

“Gettin’ drunk in our place already?”

“Wouldn’t be a proper sleepover now would it? How was your day?”

“Long. I miss you already.”

“Awww. I miss you too baby.” He hears the girls make kissy noises through the phone. “Stop it you guys, be cool! Sorry.” You giggle.

“S’okay. Where are you all sleepin’?”

“We’re camping out in the living room. We all brought our sleeping bags.”

“Oh fun.”

“Mhm. You gonna be able to sleep?”

“Hopefully. I just wish I was there with you, I’m sorry.” He sighs.

“It’s okay. Only six more sleeps til your home.”

“Oh I like that. Six more sleeps.”

“Exactly. I’m gonna go now, I love you. Sweet dreams.”

“I love you too.”

//

The next morning, Harry puts on a white t-shirt, and lathers himself up with sun screen. He puts on a snapback and rests his sunglasses on the collar of his shirt. He packs the cameras and batteries he’ll need. He goes with a pair of light blue jeans and his boots. He meets Julia and Christin down for breakfast. Julia has to stop her jaw from dropping. The t-shirt looked snug against his muscles, and she could make out more of his tattoos. He looks at what Julia’s wearing.

“You might wanna wear pants. Don’t want your legs gettin’ scarped up do ya?” He puts his things down and goes up to the buffet.

“He’s right Julia. You can pack your shorts with you if you get too hot.”

“Okay.” She leaves to go change. Harry sits back down.

“How nice of you to act as her big brother.”

“Just helpin’ her with the tricks of the trade.” She comes back in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. “Much better. You’ll thank me later.”

The three head out to the site once they’re done with breakfast. They take a car out and meet a man at a dock. They have to take a small boat out to the island. Harry puts his sunglasses on. Julia can’t help but watch the curls from under his hat blow in the wind.

Christin and Julia talk with the volunteers at the site while Harry starts walking around. He begins snapping away. Julia was thankful she listened to Harry about everything. From the pants, to the hat, to the extra sunscreen. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when he took his shirt off. He tucked it into the back of his pants and continued taking pictures.

“Oi! Chris!” She whips her head to look at him. “Couldja spray some lotion on my back?”

“Yeah!” She hustles over to him and sprays the cool lotion onto him.

“Thanks. Sweatin’ my ass off.”

“I know.” She looks at her watch. “Let’s take a break and get you into the shade a bit. I packed some lunch.”

“Sounds good.”

“Julia, c ‘mon it’s lunch time.” She says to her.

The three sit in some shade and eat the sandwiches Christin brought. Julia can’t help but stare at Harry. He looks up and catches her gawking at him.

“You act like you’ve never seen a tattoo before.” He says to her.

“Sorry.” Her face blushes. “Um, when did you-“

“Got ‘em all years ago. Late teens and early twenties.” Harry’s phone buzzes and sees a text from you. He immediately smiles. You had sent him a video of the kitchen. He hits play.

“Hi! Okay, so I unpacked most of the kitchen. My mom helped a lot yesterday. Our bed is all made up too, but I can show you later. Isn’t it so nice in here? The girls were really jealous. Hope you’re having a good time! Please make sure you reapply your sunscreen, I don’t want you burnt to a crisp when you come back. Love you!” He chuckles and texts you back.

“Is she your mom or girlfriend?” A snide remark from Julia. Harry looks over at her slowly and squints.

“Nothin’ wrong with her checkin’ in. She loves me and wants me to be safe.” He gets up. “In fact, I’m gonna go send her a video a quick.”

He walks away so neither of them can hear him. He shows you where he is. When you get the video you can’t help but just stare at his sweaty torso. He looks really cool with the snapback and sunglasses. You text him immediately with a kissy face.

“Alright, let’s get back to it.” Christin says.

Harry grabs his camera and walks around the vegetation more. Julia got all she needed for the article that needs to be written, so she decides to follow Harry around. She watches the way he snaps the photo and looks at it to see if he likes it. He knew she was following him, but he didn’t mind. Maybe she just wanted to observe.

“Here, what do you think of this one?” She leans in to look at the upclose shot.

“Really cool! It’s crisp.”

“Mm.” He agrees. “Hey, I think we have everything we need.” He says to Christin.

“Let me look through.” He hands her the camera, and take his shirt out of his pants to put back on. “Oh these are amazing! I knew I was smart to bring you. I can’t wait to get you into that butterfly garden Wednesday.”

“What are we doin’ for the next couple of days?”

“Your favorite; under water shots. These same people are deploying oysters near the coast in this bay to help stop the erosion.” A smile grows on Harry’s face. “You’d be pissed if I did this without you, now wouldn’t you?”

“Maybe a little. And technically, my favorite shots are at night.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s head back to the boat.”

//

That night you decided to have a glass of wine while organizing some boxes. You didn’t want to go through too many of Harry’s things. You stumble upon a smaller box that said “X Photos” on it. Were they pictures of ex-girlfriends? Your buzzed curiosity takes over and you open it. You gasp when you see the first photo. It was of Harry. Only he was fully naked, lying on the floor, his legs leaning up against a wall, tastefully covering his manhood.

“Oh my god.” You say to yourself. “Who the fuck took these for him?”

You sit down and go through them. There were dozens more. He looked good, really good. The pictures didn’t look too old either. You were amazed at how the camera captured every curve of his beautiful body. Then there it was. A picture of him holding his fully erect penis with a smirk on his face. You realize the x on the box meant it was rated x.

“Jesus.”

Your eyes dance over the way he grips himself, and you need to put it down before your mind wanders. There was a more serious photo behind it. There were a couple of him wearing boxers too. He looked like an underwear model. Despite them being so revealing, the pictures were gorgeous. The lighting was perfect.

“Where did he take these?” You squint at one photo. You sort of recognize it and you gasp. “His flat in London.” Your phone goes off and you nearly jump. A FaceTime request from Harry. “Shit.” You put the pictures away quickly and answer the phone. “Hey babe.”

“Hey!”

“You looked cute earlier.”

“Thanks. And I didn’t get sun burnt. Got a nice tan comin’ along though.”

“Can’t wait to see it.”

“You look a bit flushed, are you alright?”

“Um.” You look back at the box. You weren’t sure if you should tell him about finding his very personal photos. “Okay, I wasn’t snooping through your things, but I found some photos…of you.”

“Oh?” He furrows his brows trying to think. “Oh! The naked ones?” He had zero shame or embarrassment.

“Yeah.”

“Good, was hopin’ you’d find those.” He smirks. “What’d you think?”

“They were gorgeous of course. Who…took them for you?”

“I took ‘em myself. I was home for a few weeks last summer and I was bored. I had just gotten a new lens, and I was testing out some black and white effects.”

“And you had them printed?”

“Printed ‘em myself too. I had gotten a fancy photo printer.”

“You were…hard in a few of them.”

“Mhm.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know, I was just havin’ fun.”

“Oh.”

“Was that your favorite?”

“Actually, this one was.” You go into the box and take out the first photo you saw.

“Oh yeah, there’s some left to the imagination with that one.”

“You should seriously just be an underwear model.” He chuckles. “I’m serious.”

“I know you are.” He smirks at you.

“What?”

“Nothin’, just thinkin’, like, would you ever let me take pictures of you like that? You know, tasteful ones?”

“Like a boudoir thing?”

“Sure. We could set the loft up all nice, and the pictures would just be for us.”

“I’ll think about it. I feel like I would be so awkward.”

“I’d tell ya exactly what to do. Totally professional.”

“Has someone ever paid you to take boudoir photos?”

“God no. Although, I have taken a few pictures of some naked pregnant women before.” He laughs.

“So, how was your day?”

“It was good. I’m going under water tomorrow, I’m actually kind of excited.”

“Oh that sounds like fun!”

“Yeah…I wish I could go to sleep with you.”

“Me too. Bed feels too big when you’re not there.”

After some more chatter, you both hang up, and you go do your nightly routine. Just as you’re getting into bed, you get a snapchat text from Harry.

“What in the…” You open it.

Harry: textin ya on here so the messages disappear.

Your cheeks heat up. He was in the mood.

You: Alright

Harry: I’m really fuckin hard

“Jesus.” You feel your lower stomach twist in knot.

You: oh? Just from seeing my little face?

Harry: yes

You: are in bed?

Harry: yes

You: would you like to know what I would do if I were there?

Harry: enlighten me

A wicked grin grows on your face as you dial his number.

“Hello?” He says chuckling.

“Hey, I just thought of something fun and I thought you might like to hear my voice as I say it.”

“Alright, lay it on me.”

“I have a challenge for you, and I’ll do the same so you won’t suffer alone.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t want you to touch yourself at all while you’re gone.”

“No way, it’ll be easier for you since you’re on your period.”

“I usually get off in the shower without telling you.”

“Jesus, don’t tell me stuff like that.” He groans as his cock twitches. “Why do you wanna do this to me?”

“Because imagine how fucking good it’s gonna feel when you come home. Please?”

“What will I get as a reward? There’s gotta be a really good incentive here.”

“Reward? Babe, I’m going to let you fucking annihilate me when you get back.”

“Fuck.”

“But that’s only if you do as I ask, okay? We’re on the honor system here.”

“And you’re not gonna do anythin’ either?”

“Nope.”

“Alright, challenge accepted.”

“Sweet dreams, hope you don’t wake up with sticky sheets thinking of me.” You giggle and hang up.

//

By mid-week you were really starting to miss Harry. It wasn’t like you could just go hang out with Niall or your other friends during the day because they all still had to work. There was plenty to do in the apartment, but you didn’t want to do any of it without him. You decided to spend some time getting a jump on your assignments for class. There was a big research paper you had to do, and now was as good a time as any to start it. Niall said you could come over for dinner that night, and you were excited you didn’t even have to drive to go over. You loved your new place, but you knew you’d love it more once Harry was home.

//

Harry was exhausted by the time Wednesday rolled around. He spent two days diving under murky water just to get some pictures of oyster shells in bags. He got some great shots, but fuck, at what cost? He’d be spending the rest of the week at the manatee habitat. He wasn’t super thrilled.

“This is beautiful!” Julia exclaims, stepping into the butterfly garden. “Harry, do you think we’ll see any manatees?”

“Probably not, they’re not usually here this time of year.”

“Oh.” Her smiles slowly fades.

“But, um, you can certainly look. There could be some.”

Christin was inside the building talking to the couple of people that worked at the habitat. She walks out with them and Harry wants to blow his brains out.

“H, you remember Molly and Beth right?”

“Sure, hi.” He shakes both of their hands. He had slept with Molly last time he was here. Not super professional, but so it goes.

“So glad you’re back.” Molly says to him. Julia comes walking back over.

“Ladies, this is Julia, she’ll be interviewing you for the next couple of days.”

“Great! Should we start with the garden?” Beth asks.

“Sure!” Christin and Julia follow her. Harry fiddles with his camera.

“How you been?” Molly asks him, her cheeks flushed.

“Good, really good. How ‘bout yourself?” He takes a test shot of a tree. “So fuckin’ bright out today, wish it was overcast.” He says to himself. She raises an eyebrow at him. “Less shadows when it’s overcast, can get a clearer picture. I’m gonna have to fuck with all the settings.”

“You’re a talented guy, as I recall.” She winks at him and walks to catch up with the others.

Once he gets things how he likes, Harry starts snapping shots. The benches in the garden were painted a vibrant blue. He thinks of you, knowing you’d love the color. He takes his phone out quick to take a picture to send to you. He gets a reply immediately and smiles big, then puts his phone away.

“What do you suppose made him smile like that?” Molly asks Julia. She sighs.

“Probably his girlfriend that he’s gaga for.” She rolls her eyes.

“Girlfriend?” She watches Harry squat so he can take a picture of a butterfly that’s just landed on top of a flower. “Damn, that’s too bad.”

“Why’s that?”

“Oh, nothing, never mind.” She shakes her head.

Harry comes walking over to Julia and Molly.

“Where’s Chris?”

“Inside with Beth.”

“Right, well she has all the water.”

“Thirsty, Harry?” Molly was trying to be cute with him, but he wasn’t having it.

“I can get it myself, but thanks for offerin’.” He says sarcastically, brushing by her.

“Pleasant as ever.” She crosses her arms.

“Did, um, something happen between you two?”

“Not super appropriate to talk about while on the job.”

“It’s off the record.” Julia jokes.

“Yeah, when he was here last year we hooked up. And I’ll be honest, I still think about it. He, uh, really knows what to do with it.”

“Did you stay in contact at all?”

“Nope, he totally ghosted me after he went home. Don’t blame him though.” She shrugs. “I mean, I didn’t expect a long distance relationship or anything. But I am disappointed that he’s not single. Wouldn’t have minded picking up where we left off.”

Harry comes back out with his Julia’s water bottles. He hands it to her.

“Thanks Harry! I could’ve gotten it.”

“I know.” He smiles at her. “This one wants to see a manatee, could ya walk her around and show her where they usually are?”

“I’d be happy to, come on Julia. The habitat is pretty big.”

Julia mouths thank you to Harry and he nods. Selfishly he was happy to be alone in the garden to walk around and snap shots as he pleased.

“He seems to like you.” Molly says to her.

“He was just being nice. He’s not always so nice though. He can be kind of snippy, but also mysterious.”

“Definitely mysterious.”

“I have a huge crush on him, it’s so hard.” She looks back at him.

“Look, it’s not like he’s married.” She shrugs. “It’s okay to flirt a little.”

//

“Harry these are beautiful! Well done!” Christin says looking over the days’ worth of shots. “Can’t wait to come back tomorrow so we can get some more.”

“Thanks, beautiful garden. Very tranquil.”

“You both ready for some dinner? There’s a restaurant around here we can go to.”

“Sounds great.” Julia says.

The three end up at a bar and grille.

“Okay, so, as a rite of passage, we’re ordering the fried alligator.” Christin giggles. “I know you won’t eat it Harry, so we’re also getting the fried pickles.”

“Fine.”

“Why fried alligator?”

“Because we’re in Florida and it’s a tradition when we come down here.”

“The girls at the habitat were really nice.”

“Yeah, they were great to us last year. Harry even got a private tour of the area.” He chokes on his drink. “Remember? Molly took you for a drive to some other sites.”

“Yup, I remember.” His cheeks started to turn a light pink.

“So, what’s your new place like?”

“It’s massive. Two bedrooms and two full baths. And there’s a loft. Not entirely sure what we’re gonna do with it yet. She said I could use it as a home studio, but I think we should just both put our desks up there and have it as a more formal working space. We’ll see.”

“That’s great, H. Sorry all this got in the way of your move.”

“S’okay, she was really understanding.”

“Julia, any boys come into your life at school?”

“Not this semester since the internship is full time.”

“You must still go to parties and hang out with friends though.”

“Oh I do…no one’s really caught my eye. Guys my age can be really immature.”

“Take it from me, guys at every age are immature.” Harry gives her a look as he scoffs. “It’s true! That’s why I opted for an older man. Hubby’s got five years on me, that’s why it worked. Our maturity levels are the same. You’re older than Y/N, right Harry?”

“Yeah, but only by a year and half.”

“Still, older is the way to go.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Julia says.

//

After his shower, Harry couldn’t wait to settle into bed with his book. He had cranked the A/C and got cozy in his favorite joggers and a t-shirt. Just as he was getting his glasses on, there was a light tap on his door. He sighs heavily and goes over to the door to see Julia.

“Yes?”

“I didn’t…I didn’t know you had glasses.” He pushes them up like a headband to rest on the top of his head.

“They’re for readin’.” He crosses his arms. He looks down to see her holding some toiletries and some pj’s. “What’s all this?”

“My shower doesn’t have any hot water.”

“Didja give it a minute?”

“Gave it like ten minutes, just wouldn’t heat up.”

“So…why are here?”

“Could I use your shower?”

“Go use Christin’s.”

“I can’t, she wouldn’t answer her phone. She must’ve passed out after dinner. Please, Harry?”

“Alright, fine. But make it quick.” He lets her into the room.

“Thank you so much!”

“Should still be a dry towel in there.”

She nods and goes into the bathroom. How the fuck did he get himself into this? He picks up his phone and immediately calls you.

“Hey baby, you ready to read to me?”

“I was…”

“What do you mean?”

“Julia’s in my shower.” He whispers.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“She said her hot water wasn’t workin’.”

“And yours was?”

“Well…yeah. I hope she fuckin’ leaves right after. I don’t know what kind of game she’s playin’.”

“Oh, you’re paranoid.”

“I don’t know, this seems weird.”

“Harry, she knows you’re in a relationship, she’s not going to try anything funny.”

“Not everyone’s a nice as you.” You sigh.

“Look, it’s not like I can come down there and save you. Do you wanna stay on the phone with me so she leaves right away?”

“No…I think that’ll make it more awkward.” He hears the water turn off. “Shit, I think she’s done. At least she listens.”

“What?”

“I told her to make it quick.” He sighs. “I’m gonna turn the TV on. I’ll call you back in a bit.”

“Alright.” He hangs up.

He flips the channels to see if anything good was on. Reruns of The Simpsons, that’ll do. He hears the door click open, she comes out in a tank top and shorts. Her hair was down and still pretty wet, causing the top of her shirt to get wet.

“Were you talking to someone?”

“Hm? Um, yeah, I was just on the phone quick.” She looks at the TV.

“Anything good on?”

“Just The Simpsons.” He sighs.

“Oh I love The Simpsons!”

“Aren’t you a little young to love this show? You probably don’t get half the references.”

“Some of the older episodes are a little confusing, but for the most part I just think it’s funny.” She sits on the corner of the bed, and Harry inches backwards.

“Listen, um…”

“Is it okay if I hang out for a bit? These nights have been a little boring and lonely. I can only check my social media so many times.”

“You can stay for one episode, but that’s it. I’m pretty tired…been out all day in the sun ya know?”

“Alright, thanks Harry.” She turns around to look at the space next to him on the bed. “Do you mind if I-“

“You can sit in the chair if you’re back hurts sittin’ like that.” He points to the chair near the desk in the room. She sighs.

“That’s alright, I’ll just sit like this.” She shifts to lay on her stomach, propping her face up with her palms. Ass fully on display for him. She knew exactly what she was doing.

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He tries to just concentrate on the TV. It was a pretty good episode too. He finds both him and Julia giggling at certain parts.

“Harry?” She turns to look at him, laying on her side.

“Hm?”

“Did you always know you wanted to be a photographer?”

“No…it was just a hobby for a long time. When I got to uni I took an intro photographer course and realized it was what I wanted to do.”

“You do a lot of freelance work right?”

“Mhm.”

“Does that get tiring on top of all this?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“What types of-“

“Why are yeh askin’ me all these questions?”

“Just trying to get to know you better…I’ve been working for you for nearly two months and I feel like I don’t know a single thing about you.”

“You don’t work for me.”

“I work with you…I know Isaac really well, even Myk at this point. She’s gotten a little nicer. I think she was happy I got sent here instead of her.”

“She wouldn’t have wanted to be on a plane with me for three hours, that’s for sure.” He smirks.

“Did you two used to date?”

“I think that’s enough with the personal questions.”

“That’s a yes.” She smiles.

“We didn’t date.” He sighs. “Sometimes when you’re young and stupid…you do stupid things.”

“You’re still young, Harry. Really young.” She giggles. “Remember the day you said I could just call you Harry?”

“Um…”

“I actually kind of miss just calling you Mr. Styles.” Yup, he knew exactly what she was doing.

“Julia, I-“

“And you thought my name was Julie, that was so cute. You could’ve called me whatever you wanted, and I probably wouldn’t have cared.” She laughs. Harry looks at the clock on the night table.

“Look, it’s gettin’ late, and I’m supposed to call my girlfriend back.”

“That was her earlier, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. And I need to call her back.”

“What’s so important?” He sighs heavily.

“She is.” He gets off the bed and walks towards the door. “You came here for a shower, remember? Should I call maintenance for you tomorrow so this doesn’t happen again? Or will everything be miraculously fixed?” She gets up and stands near him.

“You think I lied about my shower being broken? Why would I lie about that?”

“You tell me.” He crosses his arms. She swallows hard. “I think you’re a nice girl, I do. I think you have a lot of potential as a writer. But you’re out of your fuckin’ mind if you think I would ever do anythin’ to hurt my girlfriend. So, whatever you thought might happen by comin’ in here, needs to leave your head because it’s not.”

“I…”

“Even if I was single, you’re like six years younger than me, I wouldn’t take advantage of someone like that. Trust me, you don’t wanna fuck someone you work with.”

“But you can fuck the people you see on business?” She crosses her arms. “Molly told me.”

“Of course she did.” He rolls his eyes. “Listen-“

“Stop telling me to listen! I’m an adult, same as you, and I-“

“Really? Because comin’ in here the way you did makes you look like a child, a brat actually. Tryin’ t’get your way. Did you really think a little pair of shorts was goin’ t’be enough to seduce me?” She blinks at him, she feels tears prick at her eyes. “Shit.”

“I just…I don’t know…I really like you, Harry.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel!”

“But you don’t even know me, Julia.” He puts a hand on her shoulder. “You know some version of me you see at work every day.”

“I’m really fucking attracted to you, I can tell you that.”

“I’m sorry about that, really I am. But it’s just not gonna happen.” He takes his hand off her.

“What does she have? What makes her so goddamn special?”

“For starters, she’s out of undergrad and has her life together.” He knew what he said would slice right through her, but she needed to hear it. “I can’t really explain the rest of it. I quite literally think she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life, she brightens my day just bein’ herself, and I love every little fuckin’ thing about her, even her less than favorable qualities. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I hope to god you meet someone that makes you feel the same way too. It’s the most amazing and awful feeling at the same time. If I were to lose her, especially over somethin’ like this, I don’t know what I would do. A quick fuck isn’t worth it, and maybe someday you’ll learn that. And honestly, shame on you for comin’ in here and tryin’ to make somethin’ happen when I’ve told you time and time again how in love I am with her.”

“I’m sorry, okay! I know I was wrong.” He sighs again.

“I forgive you. Look, I’m happy to be friendly with you, give you any advice I can about the job, whatever you need, but that’s where this ends, that’s where the line is, alright? I know how a lot of people at the studio look at me. I see it on Isaac’s face every mornin’ when I walk in, and I see it when I look at some of the other people. Don’t you think I feel bad? It’s partially why I keep my distance. I don’t want to make anything worse for anyone else.”

“But that adds to it! The mystery is so sexy.” She laughs. “When I say that out loud I just sound pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic, you’re a girl with a crush…and I’m sorry I can’t return your feelings.”

“It’s not your fault.” She sighs. “I’m really sorry about all of this, I made such a fool out of myself…”

“It’s okay. Let’s just move on, yeah?”

“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll go now. I’m really sorry again, I didn’t mean to spoil your night.”

“Don’t think much of it, not spoiled at all.” He smiles at her and opens the door.

“Can you not mention any of this to Chris? I, um, lied about texting her.”

“I assumed so, and yeah, I won’t tell her.”

“Thanks…you’re really cool you know that?”

“Goodnight, Julia.”

“Night.”

He closes the door and locks it. He wants to scream. He can’t believe he just had to lecture her like it was his child or something. He jumps to the bed and FaceTimes you immediately.

“It’s about time, I was just about to fall asleep. Did she just leave?”

“Yeah…she made a pass at me.”

“What?!”

“Well, nothing physical…but she was wearing really short shorts and said something like how she missed just calling me Mr. Styles…so I gave her a stern talking to and had her leave.”

“A stern talking to from Mr. Styles.” You giggle.

“This isn’t funny! She thought I was goin’ t’fuck her.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t.”

“I would never.”

“I know that.”

“You really weren’t worried about her at all?”

“Harry, you’re a big boy, and more importantly, I trust you. You said you’d never do anything to hurt me and I believed you. What we have is solid, I know you wouldn’t risk it just for some college girl’s loose vagina.” He bursts out laughing.

“Not exactly a woman supporting another woman are yeh?”

“I don’t have to talk nice right now, she just tried to get into your pants.”

“Wish you were here to get into my pants.”

“How are you doing with the no touching?”

“I’ve refrained, just like you told me to. It’s fuckin’ torture.”

“It’ll be worth it, I promise.”

[a-day-in-the-life-of-a-brotha]

5-24-21 Back at it, stronger, better, faster...older

5:52 a.m. I’m at the plantation, sitting in my car, 3 mins until I walk in. There are a myriad of thoughts dancing in my head, I’m still not well rested (a black cat...well the resident black cat walks by without seeing me). It’s a gray, drab Monday, but I’m in good spirits...my Dani is well, but she has a lot on her mind. She’s my biggest supporter and I’m appreciative. My children are fine, they are my biggest supporters, I dropped them off yesterday to their moms...I miss them already, especially since I really didn’t see them this weekend because of me new position. Pause...I have to go into work...

5-26-21 Unpause, thrust into debauchery again

Well,?I walk into work that Monday...I work...that’s pretty much it. It’s another day, I post a review, I talk with O and stay away from others for the day. The 17 year cicadas are out in full force. Everything is eating them, dogs, birds, humans...they must be delicious, but I will never find out. As I am sitting here I’m hearing a noise beyond the cars riding by, beyond the birds chirping, beyond the crickets and even the annual cicadas. I realize that the noise is the 17 year joints. It sounds like a cry from the heavens...a wailing...shot if I waited 17 years for a mate I guess I’d sound like that too. It’s eerie. I went to go pick up Dani yesterday, she was having a moment on Monday, crying about her next steps in life. I felt her pain, and I didn’t want her to be there. I’m the other half of her, and I’m responsible for helping her with her ailments. I asked those that are not seen to help me help her. Let me take her mind racing ailment, let me take her pain away. It worked, they answered, and on 5-24-21...I woke up with my mind racing. I knew that I took on her angst, I handled it accordingly and kept busy...ahhhh that’s what was significant on Monday. I was dead tired and I worked worked that day. Controlling my mind to not go too far over the edge. I even came home that day and started cleaning, cooking, washing, resetting my phone, cropping pictures, hooked up my studio, pulled out the dip kit, packed a go bag...just everything. Sleep was easy to delve into that night. “Goodnight Dani” is all I remember saying. It feels good to have money in my pocket on a Monday...and there is a reason why my pocket is heavy. So last Thursday I’m home, my off day, I’m chillin out on the balcony talking with...who else...my Dani. “I need to find a way to get some more money” I said. Now that statement comes not to long after a conversation we had about our ancestors, and how to put them to work for you, how they are always around and how they are READY to work for you. I contemplated more money for a hot second...then I let it go. No more than an hour later I get a call while on a call...the phone reads “Black”. “Let me see what he wants...hold on babe” I say. “Black man with the permanent tan...what up” I say to him, my normal greeting, even though we haven’t talked in a while. He says “Aye...I have a gig for you”, “Uhhhh ok what is it”? Then in the background I hear a all to familiar voice say “Heyyyyy Farman!” Ha!! It’s my long time friend Reds, Frenchie, Arlen...man these guys go back 30 plus years with me...I’m overwhelmed because it’s good to hear from them, and a plethora of memories rush through my head...those young good times. Nonetheless Black tells me about this bouncing gig. I deny it...it’s going to interfere with my regular job....but damn the money sounds good. He wanted me to stop what I was doing and go on an interview...I said “Nah...I’m cooking dinner, fuck it, I’m not going to be able to do it.” “Ok, I’ll vouch for you dog, just show up.” Damn...I thought to myself “Ok, Ok, I’ll do it!” Now I’ve retired from bouncing some years ago...now here I am again, finding myself thrust back into the belly of the beast in Adams Morgan. I’m a veteran of this strip. I know what goes on. Sex, drugs, and people that have yet to find themselves with severe mental disabilities and money. It’s a rough place for an enlightened human being, for someone that knows themselves, and has chosen to not be in the midst of that kind of debauchery any longer. When I was there those years back...it was me that didn’t know who I was, it was me that was susceptible to the night life, lifestyle. I got involved...selling this, drinking that, this woman, that woman, money money, cheating, lying, abusing (me), loneliness, depression, not trusting anyone and myself, not stopping people from going over the edge...essentially I died there, now I’m back and I’m reborn. I met many good people there in the past...hell if I wasn’t there, I would’ve never met my children’s mother. So not everything was bad...I learned a lot and I grew a lot.

5-26-21 Continued

So now I’m 45 I got this offer to bounce again, and I took it. I’m at a different place in life from 10 years ago. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke (weed anymore), I’ve done some egoism work, shadow work, and tempered my life to a better place. $25 an hour, perks like a STOOL to sit on all night (unfounded in the bouncing arena), $25 worth of food each night (an Asian american mix), $20 a night for parking...and I’m sitting outside checking ID’s all night...I’m doing nothing...getting paid. The place is called Death Punch...and it’s full of the residuals of the old Adams Morgan. Everyone in this spot is on coke, and I know it. I’m cool with it... The hours are from 10-3 a.m. and I work at 6 a.m....it a rough schedule but I can do it...shit it was hard...I had to leave that spot the first night and go to my main gig and sleep in the car until 5:50 and go to work. Whew...it was rough but I did it. Black told me to wear a black polo, and not to wear my crown...my signature red, black and green Kufi...that’s a part of my protection. I know I’m suppose to be weary a white Kufi...I know. So I obliged Black on the first night and man was I susceptible to all of the energies that shook my hand (millionaires by the way). Confusing energies, coming up to me talking about their wild ways and ill thoughts. I had to consciously swerve them these no good energies and some good. Long story longer...that first day a woman walking with her man caught my eyes. She was of hispanic decent and this instance happened in milliseconds. While walking, she pulled her mask down, smiling, and said to me “It feels funny being sober out here amongst everyone drunk!” I knew right at that moment that this was an angel, an ancestor...it wasn’t that woman. That comment stopped me in my tracks. Struck me in my soul. It had my mouth open. I yelled to her as she and her man were yards away “How’d you know I am sober?” She yelled back “Because I am”!! That moment moved me to the point of confirmation of me being in Adams Morgan in the state I am today. Shit I was even called a Bitch while simultaneously being called a King by a sista that had to be kicked out of the bar. In her moment of diluted, inebriated (coke) anger...she hurled what the average man would take as an insult (only a bitch nigga responds to being called a bitch), and right after she came back to herself from the sunken place and gave me the right title of King. That Saturday I wore my Kufi...I was fine...it was a swift night, and nobody cared that I had it on...I was protected. I saged and Florida watered the shit out of me before going in that night. Here’s to new endeavors, and being paid.

[somekindoftuber]

vld youtuber AU part two (klance)

part one

Lance gets home from spring break with his raw footage and gets right to editing. He’s pretty pleased with how it came out, but he still waits a few days to post it, worried he’ll seem overeager. Shiro posts the video that Lance is in the next week, and he’s so thrilled, it came out great. Keith had been working the camera a bit and Lance sort of wants to thank him for capturing some flattering shots. He quickly posts the video of his song and links Shiro’s channel.

He contemplates sending a follow request to Keith’s locked twitter, but doesn’t. He just met the guy and he doesn’t seem to be the type that opens up easily, and Lance doesn’t want to push his luck.

Flashback to when Lance left Shiro’s garage after filming. Keith is cleaning up and getting ready to lock up the garage when Shiro gives him A Look.

“Lance was nice, don’t you think?”

Keith pauses where he’s sweeping the floor. “He’s alright, I guess.”

Shiro just grins at him.

Things go well after that. Shiro follows Lance back in twitter, and they chat about videos and cat memes. Lance has noticed that Shiro will sometimes disappear off the internet for a few days at a time, but doesn’t pry.

Lance keeps streaming, and starts to occasionally post videos of his streams. He uploads an Overwatch clip where he sang a stupid song over the mic that had his entire team rolling with laughter, and it gets a lot of hits. A few days later, he gets an email, and has to blink a few times. Because it’s from Keith.

Lance,

Thanks for posting that Overwatch video. Shiro was feeling down and it really cheered him up.

-K

And that’s it. And it puts the biggest smile on Lance’s face.

Months go by and things are normal. Lance keeps finding himself looking at Keith in Shiro’s videos, but who can blame him? The guy is hot, and there’s nothing wrong with admiring the view. He hasn’t really spoken to Keith beyond that one email exchange - Lance had sent him a reply that was probably a little too long-winded but whatever - but he doesn’t mind. Too much. That’s what he tells himself.

Pidge calls him out on his bullshit. “You are absolutely crushing on Shiro’s brother,” she says like it’s the most obvious thing ever.

“I am not.”

But then he mentions it to Hunk on Discord and his oldest friend just laughs at him. “You so are,” Hunk accuses. “Even I can tell.”

Lance just glares into his webcam. So maybe he is. So what? He’s allowed to have a crush. Crushes are harmless. Besides, the guy lives five hours away and Lance doesn’t even know his last name. He’ll eventually get over it and that’ll be that.

Lance gets another opportunity to film with Shiro and he absolutely jumps on it. Shiro invites Lance to stay with them since they have a furnished basement he can stay in for the weekend and he is so excited. It also means he’ll be getting out of Pidge’s hair, since she has some intense projects to finish before the semester is over and needs to focus. So he puts in a time off request at the cafe where he works part time.

Lance packs his bag, his guitar, and all of his filming gear and makes the five hour drive on Friday morning. He only makes one pitstop for snacks and a bathroom break in some tiny town with absolutely no cell signal, then is on his way again.

When he parks on the street in front of Shiro’s place, he checks his phone and panics. Tons of texts. Emails. Twitter DMs. Missed calls. He hadn’t seen them because he was driving, and the one time he stopped, there was no signal. The most recent text is an unknown number:

>Lance this is Keith I got your number from Pidge please call me asap

Shit. Shit shit shit. He calls the number and it picks up after one ring.

“Hello?”

Wow, his voice even sounds nice over the phone. “Uh, Keith? This is Lance.”

“Lance.” There’s a pause. “Um. Where are you?”

Lance looks up at the house. “In front of your house…?”

He thinks he hears Keith curse under his breath. “Okay, I’ll be out in a second.”

Keith sounds tense and Lance is out of his car immediately, shutting the door just as Keith comes out of the small house. He definitely looks tense, shoulder hunched as he marches towards Lance.

“Hey,” Lance greets. “Is everything okay?”

Keith glances around, looking incredibly uncomfortable. “Um. Shiro isn’t feeling well. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to film this weekend.”

“Oh.”

They stand there on the sidewalk awkwardly for several minutes. Lance looks down at the phone in his hands. “Sorry,” he tells Keith. “I was driving and didn’t have a signal, so I didn’t see any messages until I stopped just now.”

Keith rubs the back of his neck. “How far did you drive?”

“Harborville,” Lance shifts his weight. “It’s about five hours from here.”

Keith curses again and fiddles with his phone. Lance is starting to panic because he just drove across the state and the place he was supposed to stay is sounding like a no-go and he’s too tired to drive back he doesn’t really have money for a hotel right now —

“Grab your stuff,” Keith says, “and follow me.”

“Uh. You sure?”

Keith’s expression is blank. “Shiro said you could stay, so you can stay.”

Keith ends up helping Lance carry his stuff inside, down to the basement apartment. It’s small but nice, with a tiny bathroom and a back porch that opens up to a wide yard of weeds and grass. Keith gives him the wifi password, then shuffles awkwardly.

“Sorry. You came all this way for nothing.”

Lance looks up. “Oh! Uh, no, it’s okay, things happen.” He puts on a smile. “I’ll find something to occupy myself, and I can get out of here tomorrow.”

The atmosphere is so, so awkward.

“Um.” Keith motions at his phone. “I was gonna order a couple of pizzas. What kind if toppings do you want?”

Lance perks up a little. “Oh man, I’ll eat literally anything. Get whatever you want, I’m good.”

Keith just nods and goes upstairs. Lance uses the bathroom (holy hell that last energy drink was a mistake, he’d been holding it for so long), then answers all the texts he got from everyone that wasn’t Keith. He assures Pidge that he’s fine, explains what happened, and says he will be back tomorrow.

Keith comes back downstairs about a half hour later with two pizza boxes and a couple of bottles of beer. Lance helps him and they go out onto the back porch, where he finally get to meet Kosmo. His mood is instantly lifted, Kosmo is huge and unruly but sweet as can be, and Lance alternates eating pizza and throwing a drool-covered ball across the yard, watching Kosmo dart after it like a freight train. Keith laughs softly.

“Are the cats around?” Lance asks as Kosmo rests his giant head on Lance’s thigh.

“They’re upstairs,” Keith answers quietly. “With Shiro.”

Okay. Guess he’s not meeting the cats this weekend.

They finish off most of the pizzas, Keith saving several slices for Shiro. It gets awkward again. It’s barely sunset and Lance has no idea how he’s going to spend the next twelve hours. Sleep?

“Wanna play some Overwatch?”

Now there’s an idea. “Yeah! I brought my laptop.”

Keith gives him a little half smile, though it seems forced. “I’ll go get mine.”

They set up their laptops in on the coffee table of the little sitting area in the basement, sitting on the carpeted floor. Keith brings down another beer for each of them and they start playing, Lance using an external drive to record because why not. Keith adds him as a friend so they can play together and it’s stupid how much that pleases Lance, even if he gets the feeling that Keith is just humoring him out of guilt. Keith is also a Genji main and that’s not surprising in the least, though he sometimes plays a pretty effective Mei and a devastating Doomfist. Lance sticks to Widowmaker and Ana, and though it takes them a few rounds to find a groove, the end up working surprisingly well together, each getting Play of the Game a few times.

They take a break and Lance ends his first recording to start another while Keith goes upstairs for another round of beer and a box of cookies that they put between them, and then it’s time to really have fun. Lance invites Hunk into the game and they find some gag servers. Lance starts singing his joke songs, making everyone laugh. At one point he darts back to the room where his stuff is to grab his guitar and play it while he sings. He makes up little jingles about player’s screen names until Keith finally chokes on his beer a little, then throws back his head laughing.

And holy shit, Keith has an amazing laugh, his face lighting up and the corners of his eyes crinkling as he snorts a little. Lance keeps singing just to keep hearing him laugh, and finally Keith is hunched over his laptop covering his face because he’s in tears. It’s incredible and Lance thinks that this, right here? This made the five hour drive worth it.

His voice gets too tired to keep singing and Keith looks sleepy, so they agree to call it a night. Keith takes his laptop and says goodnight with a smile that looks genuine. Once he’s in his sleeping clothes and settling into the guest bed, he’s messaging Hunk to gush a little about Keith. Hunk just sends him several eyeroll emojis and tells him to go to bed.

Lance wakes up disoriented and takes a full five minutes to remember where he is, dehydrated and groggy with a headache forming. Right, he’s in Shiro’s basement. He gets up and brushes his teeth, then looks at the stairs. Can he go upstairs? He can smell coffee, and he would do just about anything for some caffeine right now.

He hears a chirp and looks up again. The basement door is open and there’s a fluffy red tabby at the top of the stairs, looking right at him. One of the cats! With a giant grin, Lance creeps up to the top. The tabby backs up, and Lance is out of the basement before he realizes it, crouching on the floor to hold his hand out to the gorgeous cat that sniffs at his fingers.

He’s been petting the cat for several minutes before he realizes he’s in a kitchen, and he’s not alone. Sitting at the little breakfast table in the corner is Shiro, and he looks like hell. Hair a mess, face scruffy, bags under his eyes and wearing rumpled sweats with a blanket draped over his shoulders. But what Lance notices the most is that his prosthetic arm is gone, his right bicep tapering in the middle before it just stops, covered in webs of scar tissue. His chest is dotted with more scars.

Lance stands up. “Shiro?”

Shiro doesn’t respond right away, his eyes sort of vacant as he stares at the wall. Then he turns to look in Lance’s direction and seems to snap to attention.

“Lance,” he says and his voice is rough and tired as he pulls the blanket around himself with his left hand. He looks over to where the coffee maker is on the counter, at the opposite side of the kitchen. “I was just getting some coffee--” Shiro goes to stand but he looks like he’s in pain, favoring one leg.

Lance jumps. “I’ll get it!” he rushes over to the coffee maker and is sort of relieved to see Shiro sit back down in his peripheral. There’s a bunch of mismatched mugs in the glass door cupboard just above the coffee maker, so he pulls out one and fills it.

“Uh.” This is super weird. “Do you want sugar?”

Shiro gives him this tiny little smile. “There’s some hazelnut creamer in the door of the fridge.” he fidgets a little. “You’re welcome to have some too, if you want.”

Lance thinks that might be the best thing he’s ever heard and pours himself a cup, then goes for the creamer in the fridge. He brings the two mugs to the table and sits down across from Shiro, passing him the mug that’s printed with instructions on how to moonwalk. Shiro mutters a thanks and takes a few sips.

Lance nervously drinks his coffee and tries not to freak out. This is definitely not how he expected this weekend to go. The Shiro in front of him was so far removed from the one he knew online - the cool, confident Shiro was a million miles away, replaced by a man that sat at the table and sipped his coffee like he was expecting the roof to collapse on his head any second. It was unnerving, and Lance feels horribly out of place, like he was intruding on something meant to be private.

Before he can say anything, Shiro speaks up. “I owe you an apology.” he looks like he’s struggling. “You came all this way, and I can’t even film with you. I’m sorry.”

Lance does his best to smile. “It’s okay, really, it’s not your fault you got sick.”

Shiro frowns, then slowly lifts a hand to rest on his right shoulder. “I’m not sick,” he says. “It just... Bothers me sometimes.”

His arm. Shiro is a veteran. The pieces click into place.

Shiro explains a little, that his time in active duty changed him. That sometimes he remembers things he doesn’t want to and it’s hard to get past it. He says he’s better now, with therapy and medication, but it’s still difficult sometimes. Sometimes he still shuts down, gets phantom pains.

Lance doesn’t really know how to respond to that, so he just reaches out and pats Shiro’s hand where it’s resting on the table.

The sound of tapping claws makes them both turn, Kosmo rounding the corner panting happily, followed by a half-asleep Keith. And Lance can’t help but grin, because it’s an adorable sight. His hair is wild and poofy and all over the place, shirt slipping off one shoulder and wearing sleep pants that are printed with cats playing jazz instruments. Keith rubs at one eye with the heel of his hand and doesn’t really seem to register either of them, going straight for the coffee maker.

Lance learns that Keith takes his coffee black.

He’s halfway to the table with a steaming mug in his hand before he even realizes Lance is there, then Keith pops awake with a squeak.

“Morning,” Shiro says. Lance shrinks a little in his chair before muttering a “good morning.”

“Uh.” Keith keeps glancing between them. “Good morning.”

Shiro looks unfazed and takes a drink of his coffee. “Lance and I were just having a chat.” He smiles. “What did you two do last night? I heard a lot of laughing.”

Thanking all that is holy that he finally has a conversation topic to break this intensely awkward silence, Lance tells Shiro about their Overwatch game and the songs he made up. Keith snorts a laugh or two over his coffee and Shiro is wearing a genuine smile.

The conversation lulls. “I should probably pack up and hit the road,” Lance says. He tries to hide his disappointment. But Shiro shakes his head.

“No, please, you’re welcome to stay. We can probably get a little filming in tomorrow.”

It’s the best thing Lance has ever heard.

An hour later they’re all showered and dressed and Shiro looks significantly better, his hair combed and face shaved. He’s wearing his prosthetic again, even if he still has dark circles under his eyes. They pile in Shiro’s truck and head to a local bookstore with a cafe attached, and Shiro introduces Lance to Allura, one of his oldest friends.

Lance is struck a little speechless at first because Allura is so beautiful she can’t possibly be real. But she shakes his hand and Lance can’t place her accent but she’s sweet and cordial, sipping on a coffee with a book next to her elbow that’s in another language.

They spend several hours in the cafe just talking about college, YouTube, cats, and their shared friends the Holts. Allura is in grad school studying sociology or something like that (the title was long and complicated and sounded super difficult). Shiro gets up to get another muffin and Keith goes to the restroom, and Allura puts a hand on Lance’s.

“Thank you for caring for Shiro,” she tells him.

Lance is confused. “I didn’t really do anything…?”

But Allura shakes her head. “He’s told me about you and your videos. You make him laugh and have been a friend to him. It means more than you know.”

Lance blushes hot and doesn’t know what to say.

They return to Shiro’s and have a small barbecue, just the three of them and a small charcoal grill, a pile of meat, and a cooler of beer and soda. Lance plays happy songs on his guitar while Keith plays with Kosmo in the yard. Shiro looks so much better than he did that morning, and they trade stories until sunset. Shiro goes to bed and leaves Lance and Keith alone.

They talk into the night as they pick at the last kebob. Keith is still stoic and secretive, but he’s loosened up after a couple of beers and speaks more candidly than Lance has ever heard. About how he and Shiro aren’t related by blood, how he had it rough before Shiro found him. About adopting his dog from a shelter. Little things, too - Keith hates spicy food, is ambidextrous, and is a crossfit trainer. Lance files away all these little bits of information like precious treasure and goes to sleep with them bouncing around his brain.

The next morning, they head to the garage to film. Shiro doesn’t do an intro, still looking sort of tired, but assures that he can do a voice-over later. Lance and Keith trade camera duty as they work on the old chopper. It’s in bad shape and Keith has to bust out the welding equipment at one point. Lance swallows hard and tries to keep the camera steady because that shouldn’t be hot. Keith in a welding mask with a torch shouldn’t be hot but wow. Lance is definitely in trouble here.

They film for hours until Shiro says he’s too tired to keep going, then they pack up and head back to the house. Lance helps cook dinner and Shiro looks relieved, saying that he and Keith can’t cook very well outside of barbecue. They sit around the table and Lance can’t believe he’s there, in Shiro’s kitchen, trading stories with him and his brother like they’re old friends. A few months ago they seemed so untouchable, like celebrities that he looked up to. Now Shiro is laughing so hard he snorts at a story that Lance is telling him. Lance catches Keith’s eye a few times, smiling when he does.

Lance has to head back on Monday morning, and Shiro pulls him into a hug. It has Lance sputtering a little before he hugs back. Shiro whispers a thank you and it’s so sincere and heartfelt that Lance feels his eyes water a little. Keith just clasps his hand, squeezing it tight. No hug, but the look he gives Lance says a million things that he’ll have to sort out later.

For the drive home, Lance puts on his Florence + The Machine playlist and sings until his throat is sore, so happy he feels like his heart could burst.

.

Continued in part 3!

[bagels-and-seagulls]

could u possibly write something about david finding out about matteo's MI when he has a depressive episode

David’s phone buzzed next to his textbook, and he caught a brief glace of Jonas before he turned back to the page on human migration in the Neolithic Age. After he finishes going over the chapter, maybe an hour later, he checks his phone again, already have forgotten the text from earlier. There are a few messages in ok.cool. about plans this weekend, something about a party. Laura asked him what he wanted for dinner. Someone tagged him on Instagram. And then he gets to Jonas’ text.

have you heard from matteo?

David scrunched his face up and bit at his thumb nail. When was the last time he had heard from Teo? Last night probably. Hadn’t David told him he was going to spend all day studying? He must have because he hasn’t heard anything from him today. He scrolled to his messages with bella stella and saw that they haven’t messaged in two days, when David told him goodnight. He hadn’t seen Matteo yesterday at all either; he had been too focused on his test coming up.

Not since Tuesday, he responded to Jonas.

He turned back to his book and read the first sentence of the next chapter before his mouth twisted up like it was hooked with something laced in worry in one corner and grabbed his phone again. Why? He added.

He watched as the text bubble saying that Jonas was typing came up and then disappeared again after a second. It came back a moment later and vanished again, and that’s when David’s gut started to churn with something close to dread. Jonas was always quick to respond, even if it was the wrong thing, so he wasn’t sure what was taking so long now. It happened for a third time before he opened his and Matteo’s chat again and quickly typed out, Studying is killing me :(( wanna hang out tonight?.

David flipped back to Jonas’ chat. The typing message was up and still bouncing with the glee of an upcoming message, but David couldn’t help but think that this was taking too long, that this wasn’t just a friendly check up from a pal, that something was going on and Jonas wasn’t telling him what it was.

something is wrong.

David has his shoes on before he even notices that he’s flown out of his seat in a flurry like a hurricane storming onto the beach without realizing it’s destroying the coast. His mind is spinning with the need to figure out what something is wrong meant. He just throws on his layers like a tornado rips up strips of houses, and he’s out the door, knocking down a chair in the process. Laura will see the evidence of the frenzy when she gets back.

Where is he? I’m coming

Jonas response is immediate. i dont know if thats a good idea.

I’m coming. He repeats.

Hans is the one that lets him up to the apartment. David half thought that Jonas would be the one on the other side of the door, but he doubted he was even there, just had the sixth sense that Matteo wasn’t alright like he always had. Hans pokes his head through the door like David isn’t here all the time, like David doesn’t have his own key, like half of David’s soul isn’t on the other side and something is wrong.

“I don’t know if now is a good time, butterfly,” Hans greeted with a click of his tongue. He smiled sadly, and David wanted to scream.

David tried not to push past him in anticipation, in the swell of the chorus where the beat would drop to something more sinister and the opera house would figure out just what was in store. “Where’s Matteo? Jonas said something was wrong.”

“He’s not feeling well.”

David cocked his head to the side. “He didn’t say he was sick.” Hans sighed, and David felt a rush in his stomach with the need to see his boyfriend. “I want to see him.”

“Okay,” Hans cracked easily and opens the door to let David through. David feels like he let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding and rushed into the door. Hans grabbed his arm. “Just-“ He shook his head liked he was clearing whatever he wanted to say. “Just don’t freak out, okay? He’ll be fine in a couple of days max. Okay?”

David swallowed and then nodded, already freaked out anyways.

He tiptoed into Matteo’s room. The lamp on his desk was on, but for some reason, the room felt like the darkness was creeping out of the corners, like it had been waiting to for its moment to sink into all of the cracks in the paint and stay there for the rest of eternity. David swallowed again, already over the edge. Matteo was laying on the bed, and David walked over to him, afraid that his footsteps were too loud in a room that seemed to be ready to attack anything that moved.

“Teo,” he whispered as he dropped down in front of him. Matteo was awake, or at least his eyes were open. They were staring off into the corner of the room where a crack went up the wall like a weed up a grate. David pushed some of the hair off his face, and Matteo didn’t move, didn’t even look up at him, didn’t even notice he was there; he just continued to look at the crack in the wall, if looking described what he was doing. He was in his own little world, and David couldn’t seem to shake him out of it.

“Matteo,” David said a little louder and pushed his hand through his hair. It was greasy like it hadn’t been washed in days, and it probably hadn’t been. “Are you okay?”

Matteo’s eyes slinked up to look at the general area where David was, but it didn’t seem like he was looking at him at all, more like through him, around him, by him. David suddenly realized that Matteo was incredibly far away right now. His eyes were glassy, and his skin was pale like he had seen a ghost, like he was in the aftershocks of something so terrifying that the scream had all been pulled out of him and there was nothing left to do but stare and hope it didn’t come back. David thinks that maybe it had come back, that this wasn’t the first time Matteo has seen something come out from under his bed.

“Are you okay?” He repeats because he has to say something. He has to break this excruciating silence where he sees the love of his life broken into fragments in front of him, and no one even told him to bring the glue. Is this what all the kings horsemen felt like when staring down at humpty dumpty with no hopes of putting him back together? It was agonizing.

Matteo eyes went back to the crack in the wall, and David things that he hasn’t seen him blink yet. “Can I stay with you a while?” David asks through a lump growing in his throat from something close to horror wrapped tightly in wrath.

Matteo doesn’t respond, and David just looks at him a little longer trying to fight all of his instincts that say he has to fix this, has to fix Matteo. Because somewhere deep down he knew that he couldn’t, that there was nothing here to do at all, and that thought scared him more than the way that Matteo’s neck looked like he had scratched it raw, trying to claw something out. “I’m going to stay a while, okay?” He says just to hear something other than the rushing in his ears.

David toed off his shoes and crawled in bed behind Matteo to pull him close to his chest. Matteo doesn’t move all night, and David doesn’t know if he fell asleep, didn’t think he could with how much he wanted to shake someone, maybe Matteo to get him to just acknowledge him or maybe himself because he should have seen this coming from somewhere.

He didn’t know how he made it through the night or the next morning with Matteo completely lax to the world. He just tried to remember Matteo’s voice.

part two + part three :)