#I’m full of righteous grumpiness | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yikesharringrove · 4 years ago

Note

I have a headcanon that Billy doesn"t really know how to apologize like most people do. To him, the words are kind of empty so he just does things for people instead. Things like replacing all of the dishes with better quality ones for the Byers, making the girliest clothes Max hates disappear and replaced with things she likes, a new slingshot showing up in Lucas's locker, breaking into a car to fix it. Steve is weirdly charmed by it.

These may both be you? But here’s a combo since they’re p much the same idea

anonymous asked: Billy has forgotten how to actually connect with people so he shows affection through acts of chaotic good, like planting catnip all over the yard of the lady who allergic for yellomg at Max or breaking into a car so he can fix the engine. Steve figures out Billy is the one doing all these oddly kind things but he is still kind of intimidated by the blonde so instead of thanking him out right he just leaves things like cigarettes and baked good for him in his car. Have fun with that one!

This got pretty long so I put some of it under the cut.

Billy didn’t believe in the words I’m sorry.

They just didn’t make sense to him. He had never heard the words when someone actually meant them, and fuck knows he’s never actually meant those words before.

But that does not mean there aren’t things in his life he regrets.

For example: beating the shit outta Steve Harrington.

He felt like absolute fucking garbage about it.

Harrington hadn’t deserved that shit. Billy was just runnin’ hot that night, and Harrington had been unlucky enough to have bad timing.

But he didn’t know how to fix it.

So he started leaving snacks in Steve’s locker.

He noticed how he would always be giving his friends the food off his fucking plate, so he would shove granola bars, candies, even made him a sandwich one day.

He watched as Steve would eat whatever it was Billy had left for him, just fuckin’ chowed down without question.

He would look into classes, find out where Steve sat and leave little treats on his desk.

“Mr. Harrington, I think you may have a secret admirer.” Steve flushed a little at the cupcake, and shoved it into his mouth in two bites at the beginning of history class, but he wasn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak, and figured whenever this chick came forward, he would thank her for being so thoughtful, and let her down gently.

After leaving Harrington alone with all his snacks, Billy set his sights on his other regret.

He had Max hadn’t always fought and bickered. True, Billy wasn’t the warmest, when they first met, but once he got his car they would drive around together a lot. He’d take her to the arcade and the boardwalk. They both didn’t like being home too much.

So when Billy’s informed he’ll be watching Max for the weekend while Neil takes Susan to the city, he forms a little plan.

There’s one Chinese restaurant in Hawkins. It’s totally not authentic, not like the dim sum they used to get wandering around San Fransisco, but they had steamed pork buns and Billy picked up eight.

He let Max do whatever she wanted that weekend, figured they would have better luck with one another if they both acted like outdoor cats, coming and going as they pleased, but come Sunday evening, all the pork buns were gone, and there was an unopened pack of cigarettes on his nightstand.

Regret number three: Lucas Sinclair.

Billy probably felt the most fucked up over this kid.

He’d gone after him, a fucking child, in his blind rage.

He had figured that out when he came to on the floor of that weird house, sitting up empty and alone, realizing I’m just like Neil.

He had seen all those kids with their nerdy toys, went out to RadioShack, early Sunday morning, leaving with a light wallet and a new idea.

Dustin was arguing with Mike over the realism of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, like there was anything realistic about it.

Lucas rolled his eyes, opening his locker, his mouth dropping open when he saw something inside.

He pulled the bag out, peering inside.

There were six brand new walkie talkies inside.

They were better than the ones they already used, had further range and more channels.

Everyone went silent.

“Um, these aren’t mine.”

Max’s eyes went wide. She snatched something up from the top shelf of Lucas’s locker.

The new Wrist Rocket had a note attached to it. She knows this handwriting, but couldn’t place it.

Enjoy the new gear. Don’t quit saving the world.

“Do you think they’re from Steve?”Max furrowed her brows at the note.

And then everything clunked into place.

“Maybe.”

The boys were tearing into the new walkies.

She got two cokes from the vending machine at lunch, handing one quietly to Billy when she got in his car after school.

Billy doesn’t really know what he’s doing here.

He had driven Max to one of her nerdy little friend’s houses, and somehow he got roped into staying? He doesn’t even remember.

But now he’s standing with a short kind woman, in the exact kitchen he beat the shit out of Harrington in, with Steve himself leaning against the other wall, watching the kids like some kinda hawk.

Billy’s hands were shaky, and he inserted himself into washing dishes from dinner.

He noticed most of them had chips, and all of them were mismatched. He put them away quietly, and drove to the nearest home goods store he could find.

Ceramic plates didn’t run too much, and he got a nice set of three different sizes, twelve plates of each size, light blue like the one he broke.

He left them on the porch, parked his car down the road a ways.

He rang the doorbell, sprinting and diving into the bushes before anyone can see him.

He watched as one of the sons, the one his age, the one in his English literature class, opened the door, his brow furrowing at the box of new plates.

“Um, Mom? Somebody left us a set of plates?”

He closed the door, but the took the plates with him.

Billy was sitting on the lawn, had just finished raking up all the damn leaves, and was taking a well-earned smoke break as he watched Max skating up and down the street, practicing her kickflips and ollies.

She cut into the driveway across the street, the only one on the entire block that was well paved, no cracks in the cement.

“Get out of here!” Max started as Mrs. Reynolds, a mean old woman was shouting through her screen door. “You little hooligan! You’re going to leave marks!”

Max bit her lip, trying not to laugh as she boarded back over to their house, standing next to Billy.

“I’ll be having a word with your father!” She rolled her eyes as Billy ground his jaw.

Cat nip was way more expensive than Billy was expecting, but he bought plenty of packages, returning home just past sunset.

He waited until about three in the morning, when Mrs. Reynolds’ sprinklers had finally turned back off before he climbed out his window, spreading the cat nip through her yard.

He flipped her house the bird.

Max was awed at the cats the next morning as Billy drove them both to school.

There must’ve been at least a hundred.

“Isn’t Mrs. Reynolds allergic?” Billy tried not to laugh.

“Damn. That sucks for her.”

Billy was sitting on the hood of his car, reading one of his lit books while he waited for Max to get out of her nerd club.

He startled a little bit when someone knocked on the hood.

And it was Harrington, smiling sheepishly at Billy.

“The Byers got some new plates last night. You know anything about that?” Billy tracked the thin scar on Steve’s head. It disappeared into his hairline. Billy wonders how long he had sat in front of a mirror, picking glass out of his thick hair.

“Who’re the Byers?” Steve huffed a laugh.

Max was standing in front of the mirror looking like a grumpy old cat.

Susan had bought her a lovely new dress, and Max fucking hated it. Susan was fussing over it, saying I ordered it from the Sears catalog! and can you believe it was only fifteen dollars?

Billy slipped a five and a ten into Susan’s purse later that day, taking the dress to the Goodwill downtown.

He found Max a couple crappy t-shirts there, bands she would hum to on the radio, shit like Journey and Foreigner, and slid them into her closet where the dress used to be.

She wore one the next day, blinking slowly at him over breakfast.

He avoided all eye contact.

Steve has long legs.

this was of course something Billy always knew, but watching him stalk in all his righteous fury down the street towards the high school really solidified that fact for Billy.

He was stomping, his strides long as he hustled to class. Billy thought about offering him a ride, didn’t think they were there yet.

Billy found himself in Steve’s driveway later that night, popping the hood of Steve’s dead car and searching over everything with a flashlight.

Billy rolled his eyes.

Steve had probably always paid someone else when his car broke down, didn’t realize if your oil was low, your car wouldn’t work.

Billy kept a few cans in his trunk, refilled the bad boy for Steve, making sure that was it.

He found nothing else wrong and Steve pulled into the school parking lot the next morning.

Billy could feel Steve staring at him when he walked into school.

He found Steve sitting on his car at lunch, holding the sandwich Billy had snuck into his locker, and a loaf of bread wrapped in cling film. .

Billy raised an eyebrow.

“I saw you last night.” His cheeks went hot. “Thanks for fixing my car. And all the snacks and stuff. And for the Byers’ plates. And for all the stuff with Max.”

“Nothin’s happened with Max.” Steve appraised him for a moment.

“She said you’re being nicer.” He held up the bread. “Homemade banana bread. Made it while you were being not at all stealthy fixing my car.” He smiled at Billy, one a’ those perfect sunshine smiles Billy had only ever seen Steve direct towards his kids.

“I just changed your oil. Car won’t run if you don’t got oil.” Steve furrowed his brow.

“My gas tank was full. I had just filled it.”

“Nah Pretty Boy, oil. It’s different.” And Billy took a deep breath. “Could show you, if you like. Teach you some basic car shit. How to jump, how to change a tire.”

Steve beamed at him.

“I’d like that! I don’t know shit about fixing cars. Always figured it would go way over my head.”

“It’s pretty easy. There’s usually only a few major things that go wrong in nice cars that are easy fixes. You’ll figure it out quick.” Steve slid off his car, and Billy lamented that for a minute, liked how Steve looked perched on Billy’s car, wondered how he’d look in the passenger seat, in the backseat-

Steve pushed the bread into Billy’s hands.

“Y’know, I forgive you. For that night.” Billy tightened his jaw. Steve’s eyes were a little green in the sun. “There was a lot goin’ on, and I was being sketchy. I don’t hold it against you.”

“I, uh, thanks, I guess. I’m sorry, about it.” Steve smiled at him again, the corners of his eyes crinkling just a bit.

“Yeah, I know.” Steve took a bite of his sandwich, his cheeks all cute and full. “And I’m more of a ham and cheese fan.” Billy rolled his eyes at Steve, taking with his mouth full of turkey sandwich.

“Sorry man, you get what Susan buys.” Steve laughed, his mouth still full. Billy was uncomfortably endeared by it.

“Don’t be surprised to find some lasagna on your porch one night soon.” And Steve winked at him, walking backwards towards the school. “You’re not so bad, Billy.”

“Tryin’ not to be.” Steve gave him a stupid little finger gun. Billy’s heart melted.

“You’re doin’ a good job.” And Steve set off back into the school.

#yikes writes #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years ago

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 20, part two

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

So much happens in this episode that I couldn’t stop the meta and had to break it in thirds. Part one is here, part three is here.

Owie Owie Owie

Wen Zhuliu takes exquisitely tender care of Wen Chao, despite presumably disliking him quite a lot. He wipes his tears away, saying that the tears will infect his wounds, which...isn't likely, but ok.

I will note that he didn't get the "no sting" kind of medicine, however, so maybe there's a limit to his kindness. Wen Chao screams and yells at him while he puts a tiny amount of medicine on one tiny spot of owie. It's going to be a long night for these fellas. Except it isn't because they're going to die, so at least they won't have to put more medicine on.

The candles blow out and we hear the sound of a flute, which Wen Zhuliu hilariously says is just the wind when Wen Chao starts freaking out. They have two days to go before they get to safety, and Wen Chao is pretty sure he's not going to last two days. And you know...he's right!

As usual he blames Wen Zhuliu for the situation, but then gets afraid that WZL is going to leave him, and starts making promises of status. WZL says that's not necessary. He is a loyal sonofabitch, I'll give him that.

The Man Comes Around, Redux

And now Wei Wuxian enters the scene, climbing menacingly up the stairs carrying his own hair fan, just like Lan Wangji did in the previous episode. (Gifset here). Wen Zhuliu doesn't look optimistic. When the boys on the roof see Wei Wuxian they don't look too happy either.

Wei Wuxian stops in front of Wen Zhuliu and proceeds to have a philosophical conversation with him. Wei Wuxian has come to fuck your shit up, but he has also come to pass judgement on your ethics because he is, fundamentally, still himself.

Wen Zhuliu takes the opportunity to justify his actions, giving a heartfelt statement about what he owes to Wen Ruohan. Wen Zhuliu knows his number is up and that they obviously didn't kill Wei Wuxian hard enough, but he still feels righteous.

(more after the cut)

Here Wei Wuxian asks a question that shows the fundamental difference between himself and Wen Zhuliu. In many ways they are similar: neither of them was born into their clan. Both were appreciated by the clan leader and placed in high positions. Both feel an obligation to those clan leaders. When Wei Wuxian asks "why do other people have to pay for your gratitude?" he's foreshadowing the moment when Jiang Cheng demands the death of the Dafan Wens.

Wen Zhuliu doesn't hesitate to murder people because his clan leader wants him to. Whereas Wei Wuxian doesn't hesitate to pay a terrible price--his golden core-for his gratitude to Jiang Fengmian. But he won't let the Dafan Wens pay the price of his continued membership in the Jiang clan; he chooses exile while Wen Zhuliu chooses murder.

Wei Wuxian is done talking and very very slowly brings his flute into position and starts to play. Wen Zhuliu doesn't make a move to stop him, but he might be frozen in place...everything happens at weird speeds in this scene.

Lan Wangji is super horrified when he sees what Wei Wuxian is doing with his flute. So horrified, in fact, that by the time they are face to face, he's moved past any other emotion.

Lady in Red

As Wei Wuxian plays the flute, the camera moves around him (or they spin him on a turntable) and the scenery around him shifts to a 360 view of...the burial mounds! That's so fucking cool!

You can take the boy out of the graveyard but you can't take the graveyard out of the boy. He is carrying it within him now.

He summons up the hottest ghost lady ever, to scratch the shit out of the Wens with her fancy fingernails. She's all in red, not the dark Wen red, but super-saturated bridal red.

She's not dressed as a bride, but she is very pretty and the color is awesome, particularly when she turns into red smoke. Presumably having actual ghosts attacking people is ok with the censor board as long as they are pretty ladies in nice clothes, since there are two in this episode and this one is absolutely definitely a non-corporeal being when she wants to be.

Camera Operator: What did I ever do to you?

She fights with Wen Zhuliu, who tries to put his core-melting hand on her, unsuccessfully, and then figures out that Wei Wuxian is the better target, so tries to put his core-melting hand on him.

Wen Zhuliu, you need to have some different moves! Not everybody has a core for you to melt.

Zidian’s Revenge

As soon as Wen Zhuliu targets Wei Wuxian the boys break in from the rooftop, with Jiang Cheng snapping Zidian up over a rafter and down around Wen Zhuliu's neck in a single move, and then hauling him up and hanging him.

This is a pretty gratifying moment; Jiang Cheng finally gets his vengeance using the weapon his mother gave him before this fucker killed her. He also gets to come back at the guy who melted his core and kill him with a spiritual weapon. All around nice work, Jiang Cheng.

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji initially placed himself between Wen Zhuliu and Wei Wuxian, which is a pretty strong show of devotion, given that his chest was directly in line with Wen Zhuliu's hand.

He watches intently while Wen Zhuliu dies...Lan Wangji is actually a pretty vengeful guy, isn't he? He's not into torture but he seems to like executing bad people, and he enjoys chopping off arms a whole lot.

Welcome Back

Having disposed of Wen Zhuliu, Team Where The Fuck Have You Been is ready to greet Wei Wuxian. This is Lan Wangji as he prepares to turn around and face him.

This is not "relieved that my soulmate is ok" or even "feeling betrayed because you didn't even send me a text." This is cold, hard, fury. He's plowed right past relief and joy into full on disgust and vehemence.

Jiang Cheng is also pissed at him, but he's so used to being pissed at him that it's not a remarkable emotion, and it passes quickly. He gives him his sword, calls him a prick, punches him in the shoulder while Lan Wangji looks grumpy Wang Yibo tries very hard not to smile, and fails.

Then Jiang Cheng gives Wei Wuxian an enormous squishy hug.

Wei Wuxian, who has probably wanted that hug for the past decade, does not return it, and looks stricken, eventually raising his flute hand behind Jiang Cheng's back.

Lan Wangji glares at him while Jiang Cheng hugs him, and then shifts to glare at the flute.

Let's talk about Lan Wangji's body language here. This scene is often talked about, including by OP, as "Wei Wuxian picks a fight with Lan Wangji in order to push him away." But since their very early days,Lan Wangji's nonverbal communication has been an essential component of his relationship with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian has been reading his microexpressions from the very start, and he's the only one besides Lan Xichen who does that.

Lan Wangji's anger and disapproval are written all over his face and posture, so much so that even a casual observer can tell what he's feeling. For Wei Wuxian, with his extreme awareness and having shared actual literal telepathy with the guy previously, this has got to feel like Lan Wangji is screaming at him.

Lan Wangji is the one picking this fight. Wei Wuxian is trying to defuse it by giving him time to calm down before engaging. For perhaps the first time since meeting him, Wei Wuxian ignores Lan Wangji to focus on Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng asks him a bunch of questions and Wei Wuxian slides out from under most of them, giving half answers, non-answers, and what All The President's Men calls a non-denial denial.

Wei Wuxian, who is adept at sounding like he's speaking truth when he is lying, here sounds like he's lying when he's speaking something very close to the truth. He spins a particularly outrageous-sounding tale of finding a cave and learning an ultimate power there...but that's actually what he actually did, actually. Xue Yang does this "lie so much that the truth now sounds like a lie" thing by accident, years later in Yi City, but Wei Wuxian is using it as a deliberate tactic to hide the truth from his brother. Which is basically his main occupation at this point.

He acts offended that Jiang Cheng doesn't believe him, but he does it playfully to cast everything in the conversation as a joke.

Lan Wangji is not as inclined to accept utter codswallop as Jiang Cheng is, and he has already figured out an important underlying layer of the situation--the turn away from the way of the sword--while not seeing the very bottom layer, the "I don't have a golden core" layer.

Unfortunately, he continues to be judgy and pissed off. He says "Wei Ying" gently enough, but his body is braced for conflict.

Wei Wuxian looks at him wearily and stands up to have the fight Lan Wangji is asking for.

Maybe you were right But baby I was lonely I don't want to fight I'm tired of being sorry

I'm standing in the street Crying out for you No one sees me But the silver moon

Soundtrack: 1. Sympathy for the Devil, The Rolling Stones 2. Tired of Being Sorry, by Ringside

Writing Prompt: Who is the lady in red and what is her deal?

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #wangxian #chengxian #the untamed gifs #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs

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talesmaniac89 · 5 years ago

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Choices - The Beginning

Pairing: Dean x Reader OR Sam x Reader

Summary: Choices is an interactive Supernatural choose your own adventure story where your choices determine the outcome. You go on a hunt with the two Winchester brothers, one of whom you love. You decide who your Winchester is and what happens along the way. Each part is a fully independently written section and no parts are copies of others, so the story can be read a full 8 different ways with 15 parts in total and 8 endings!

Total word count: 45k+ words (over 15 parts)

Triggers: Dark, torture, reader death, angst, loss, pain, blood, serious injuries, heartbreak, implied possible major character death, fear of abandonment, loneliness, hostage situation, gore (series levels blood, torture and fatal injuries)

Triggers depend on your choices, so if you are easily upset by any of the above please proceed with caution.

[Your Story Starts Here] - You’ll be asked to make your first choice at the bottom of this chapter.

Y/N = Your Name

---

“(Y/N)! Get a move on!”

Dean’s deep voice echoed down the hallway just as you shouldered your duffle bag with a roll of your eyes. It hadn't even been 10 minutes since the call for help had come in. If it wasn’t for the fact that you’d been busy cleaning your guns when the call came, you would’ve already been out there in the library with them, ready to go. It wasn’t as if you’d been standing around fussing over which ratty t-shirt to pack for an hour.

“On my way!” You shouted back, grimacing as the heightened volume easily erased the annoyance you’d wanted to subtly lace each word with. Throwing another quick look around your room in the Men of Letters bunker you sighed at the mess.

T-shirts and jeans were everywhere, as you’d pulled out everything to quickly stuff a few items in your overnight bag just in case the hunt took longer than planned. Not to mention the cleaning supplies you’d left abandoned on the floor from where you’d been sitting cross-legged polishing your favourite revolver.

It would all have to wait till you got back. Even though you knew you’d regret it once you made it back, bruised and stiff from the fight and the subsequent ride back in the Impala. Having to clean your room before you could fall into your bed feeling sorry for your aching bones was never fun.

Yet, sticking to a decision you knew you’d come to regret; you got a move on before Dean could call out for you again. Swiping up your phone, you hurried out into the hallway and nearly ran straight into Sam as he came barrelling out of his own room.

“Dean?” He asked, his hazel eyes meeting yours with a raised eyebrow a clear sign that your annoyance at being rushed was showing on your features. Though it didn’t matter, since the youngest Winchester clearly shared your irritation as he threw you a glance, underscored by an eye roll that put yours to shame.

“Yeah… Dean,” You said with a sigh as you lifted the straps of the duffle bag off of your shoulder. Attempting to bring some blood flow back into your arm from the heavy load of guns, knives, holy water and other goodies. As well as the clothes thrown in for good measure.

“Let’s not keep our oh so righteous leader waiting then. C’mon (Y/N),” Sam smirked, teasing a small smile out of you as well. Before quickly reaching down and effortlessly snatching your duffle bag from your hands and hurrying down the hallway. If it wasn’t for your relief of having the bag off of your shoulders you would have stopped him. Reminded him that you could easily kick his ass if you went one on one.

But, you knew that there were no hidden meanings in Sam’s gesture. He was just trying to be helpful.

You’d realised quite quickly after getting to know him that one of the things the youngest Winchester feared more than anything else was being abandoned; seen as useless or a burden and left standing in the dust. The shadows of his childhood fears were still clinging to him, little tendrils that he’d never managed to shake. Old fears from a youth spent in constant worry that his father would just drop him off somewhere and drive off without ever coming back. That, coupled with the many lost friends, lovers and hunters that had left him, willingly or unwillingly, made him try twice as hard at being of use to those he loved, every step of the way. From small kind gestures, like carrying your bag, to willingly offering himself up as a sacrifice to the big baddies of the world, in hopes of rescuing Dean, Cas, and now you.

Rolling your shoulders to shake off the rest of the strain from the bag, you pocketed your phone before hurrying after Sam down the hallway. No point in being grumpy when there were bad guys to gank. And neither of the two men in your life deserved your grumbled dissatisfaction. Both the bag and Dean’s insistence of getting on the road as fast as possible were just their own little ways of showing they cared.

Sam was just trying to be helpful and Dean was always worried about losing another civilian by being just a second too late. And you loved them both for it. After all, one was your best friend in the whole world, while the other already secretly had your heart. Though you’d never found the courage to tell him you slipped it into his hands when he wasn’t looking.

“(Y/N)!” Dean’s voice echoed down the hallway, pulling you out of your thoughts and back into your grumbled exasperation aimed at the oldest hunter. Ok… So maybe you’d allow yourself to be a tiny big grumpy until there were baddies in front of you to take it out on.

“I said I’m on my way!” You called back in a huff. Casting a quick glance at your closed bedroom door before quickly running to join the boys. Hopefully the bruises yet to come from the hunt wouldn’t make you regret your decision to leave the mess behind.

---

“So where are we headed, exactly?” You asked after about an hour’s drive and a quick case briefing from Dean. Leaning between the seats from the backseat of the Impala in a way that had Sam throwing worried glances your way for your lax seat-belt etiquette.

“There’s a farmhouse, just 40 clicks away now, shouldn’t take long,” Dean’s voice had taken on that steely hardness it got whenever things got serious. And though the case was nothing out of the ordinary for the Winchesters and you, there had already been two reported deaths.

Which also meant that Dean had already added their names and faces to his list of sins to carry. People he could have saved if he could have somehow seen into the future. The oldest Winchester always etched the names of every lost soul into his big heart, burying them there among the many ‘should haves’ and ‘what ifs’ that weighed his broad shoulders down. He was a good leader, and a great hunter, but sometimes he cared a little too deeply. Leaving him hurt no matter how well a hunt went.

“... And put on your seatbelt (Y/N),”

“Yeah, yeah,”

… And sometimes he treated you like a little kid. The thought teased a wry sigh out of you. Quickly reaching out, you turned up the volume of the Led Zeppelin song that was playing, a small act of rebellion, before leaning back in your seat. Smiling innocently as Dean’s green eyes met yours in the rear-view mirror, his attempt at exasperation softened by the way his eyes crinkled in a smile.

No matter how hard as steel the hunter tried to act, he always had a soft spot for Sam and you. To Dean, his feelings were cracks in his armour. They were the blind spots his father had told him about when teaching him to ‘always watch his back’. Yet, the man was more deserving of a family, of love, than anyone else you knew. And so, Sammy and you watched his back instead. Where he watched yours. Both of you determined for the older hunter to see you as strengths, not weaknesses.

Soldiers, shoulder by shoulder.

And, though Dean would constantly complain... You knew he was secretly happy the two of you stuck around; silently terrified of the loneliness he always tried to force onto himself by pushing others away. No matter how loudly his father’s words echoed in his mind and tried to tell him he was leaving himself vulnerable.

Letting Black Dog be your soundtrack, you watched the two most important people in your world from the backseat of the Impala. The Winchester brothers; both carrying scars from the family business they’d fallen into after their mother’s death. Each fearing abandonment and hurt in their own bruised and broken way. Both forced to give up any dream of apple pie to make the world a better place. Children turned soldiers turned martyrs, shaped into a sacrifice by a world that turned a blind eye to their suffering. Which was why you had promised yourself that you would try your damndest to give them a home, and that you would never run away from your life with them.

Even if a certain hunter sometimes made that a hard promise to keep, as every friendly jab broke your heart at the clearly unrequited love you harboured.

You sighed internally as you cast a careful glance in the direction of the man you’d come to love as more than just a hunting buddy or a friend, more than anything really, over the last year and a half of hunting with him. He’d probably be heartbroken to know he was hurting you, which was why you could never tell him how you felt. How your heart and body reacted, as if by reflex, whenever he was around.

Anything he did, from the smallest smile to the feel of his eyes on you, set your body on fire. In a manner not so different to what Robert Plant was promising he’d do to you as Black Dog blared over the Impala’s speaker system. And fuck if you didn’t want to echo the great artist himself and ask the man in front of you to do some not so innocent things to you whenever your eyes strayed to lips that you’d rather have on you than rambling on as they currently were about the case.

“Right… So, to make sure we’re ready…”

---

Make your choice below to move the story along:

The man you love is speaking - who is he?

[Dean Winchester] or [Sam Winchester]

---

Tags:

Dean Winchester Stories: @ria132love @woodworthti666 @defenderrosetyler @akshi8278

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forever-rogue · 4 years ago

Note

"here, take my sweater" with Javi please? thank you for doing this!

I hope you enjoy 🥺

Javier Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

You didn’t need a sweater or a jacket, you had insisted.

It was going to be a warm afternoon, you had insisted.

You’d be fine in your tshirt and jeans, you had insisted.

Like a fool.

Colombia seemed to laugh in your face as she decided to bless you with rains and a cold front that no one could have predicted.

And here you were in the middle of Medellin, on a stakeout with your grumpy partner, one devilishly handsome, Javier Pena.

He looked so stupid and warm and comfy in big, soft sweater. He had his trademark little grin on his face the whole time, silently reminding that he told you so.

Gods, he was infuriating. Why couldn’t you be with stupid Steve instead?

“Cold?” he asked, his voice dripping with sheer amusement on the single, harsh syllable. You reached for the binoculars in his hands, yanking them with slightly more force than necessary as you ignored his question.

“How long is this gonna take?” you groaned silently as you tried to hold back a shiver. You’d been at this for hours, which in your current state felt like ages, and found nothing that was even remotely useful. Javier shrugged as he leaned back in the driver’s seat, his elbow resting on the door as he watched you, “this is pointless.”

“Maybe we’ll find something and make your shivering worthwhile,” he snorted as you rolled your eyes and glared at him. Letting out a small sigh, you handed the binoculars back to him as you started to open the passenger to climb out. It may have been raining, but you spotted a small, warm looking cafe just up ahead. You’d quickly decided you’d run there and get a hot, steaming coffee to help warm you up, “what are you doing?”

“Going to that cafe,” you nudged your head in the direction as you tightened the laces of your now muddied sneakers. There was no reason you’d need to trip and fall on top of everything else. No reason to add insult to injury.

“Baby, it’s raining,” Javier lamented as he tried to reached for your wrist to keep you from slipping out of the car. You just stuck your tongue out at him before pulling out of his reach and stepping into the rain. Okay - downpour. Okay - torrential downpour that almost soaked you to the bone within seconds. Maybe this wasn’t the smartest decision after all.

“I’ll be back,” you almost had to shout over the loudness of the rain crashing down around you. Javier shook his head as you started to walk away, promising him you’d get him a coffee as well. You’d started a quick pace, half running to get to your destination, and trying to avoid as much of the rain as possible. You were already soaked, so there really wasn’t much point, but still.

“Babe!” Javier called after you as he started to follow you. You’d barely heard him over the sound, turning around to him rushing over to you, “you’re going to get soaking wet.”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” you almost laughed as you held out your arms to show him that you were practically completely soaked. There was nothing but a look of sheer exasperation on his face as he slowly moved to take off his thick, soft sweater, “take my sweater!”

“You’re going to be cold then, Javi,” you pushed his hands back at him, but he was stronger, more firm, as he insisted with a fervent shake of his head. You looked between him and the sweater and saw nothing but determination in his eyes.

“I don’t care,” he promised, his voice just low and soft enough for the two of you to hear, “as long as you’re warm, I don’t care.”

“Javi,” his name was but a mere reverent whisper as you took the sweater from him. He was so, so infuriating at times, so bullheaded and stubborn, and full of himself, but gods, you loved him like no other. You had since almost the day you’d met him. And moments like this, just cemented how much you really did. You clutched the soft fabric to your chest, marveling at how it still managed to smell like him - cigarettes and aftershave and his own soft, scent. It was an intoxicating mixture, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he replied as he took his hand and gently placed it on your face, stroking your cheek, “mi alma.”

“There’s only one problem,” you almost laughed as he raised his eyebrows, “it’s soaking wet already. So am I...so are you.”

You exchanged a look before the two of you burst into the laughter, standing there in the pouring rain in the middle of the Colombian jungle. Deciding that it didn’t even matter anymore, you pulled on his warm sweater and, so wet nothing mattered, before he pulled you into his arms and held you tightly.

“Hi,” it was a soft, breathy thing as you rested your forehead against his, his aquiline nose delicately nuzzling yours, “we’re very wet.”

“I know,” he said softly, “let’s get you home and warmed up. I told you that you’d need a sweater.”

“And look, you were right for once,” you giggled for a moment, “can we take a warm bath?”

“Of course,” he promised tenderly, “and hot, decent coffee.”

Nodding eagerly, you let him take your hand as he held you back to the car, but then suddenly you remembered.

“Javier!”

“What?” he asked as spun on his heel, a worried expression on his face, which quickly melted into a much softer one when he saw you standing there with arms outstretched and face turned towards the sky, “what are you doing, baby?”

“It’s raining,” you laughed, a most musical that the stoic DEA agent adored, “isn’t wonderful? It always feel so fresh and renewing. It’s beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful,” he beamed as he walked back over to you.

“And you’re a big ole softie,” you teased as he shook his head, “don’t even lie. You were gonna give me your sweater...you did give it to me.”

“Yeah well, that was only because it was you,” he admitted.

“You love me?” you asked as if you didn’t know, like he hadn’t probably told you that hundreds of time by now.

“No shit,” he said before you flipped him, “te amo con todo, mi alma.”

“Te amo, Javier,” you whispered as you pulled him close, hands on either side of his face as you looked into dark, gentle eyes that you knew you inside out, “can I ask you for one thing?”

“Something else?” he pretended to be shocked as you nodded, “for you? Anything.”

“Kiss me,” you whispered as you ghosted your lips over his.

“Here? Now? In the pouring rain?” he asked, his lips already warm and soft as they danced over yours.

“Yes,” you replied, “here and now.”

“Only for you,” were the last words out of his mouth before he kissed you. You were both soaking wet, drenched clothes sticking to your bodies like a second skin as he kissed you. You couldn’t think of anything more romantic and perfect.

Javier might have been a fool, an arrogant well righteous bastard at times, but he was yours. All yours. And you adored every fiber of his being.

“You owe me a new sweater, by the way,” he joked as he pulled back, but not before giving your bum a good squeeze. Typical Javi.

“Oh yeah,” you laughed as you took his outstretched hand, “you can borrow any one of mine. I’m sure they’ll great!”

“I’m sure they will,” he agreed as he opened your door and helped you inside. He watched you intently before wiping away a few raindrops and placing the most gentle of kisses on your forehead, “now, let’s get you home and warm.”

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #narcos

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popculturebuffet · 3 years ago

Text

Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers: Part 14: GlomTales!: Cannae Top Louie’s Grand Plan to Beat that “Scotsman” (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to of Moons, Millionares and Mothers, my look at the complete season 2 arcs of Ducktales! And we’re at the goal line as we’re counting down our final episodes, leading up to the finale next week with Moonvasion, just in time for the show’s anniversary! But we’ve got two episdoes before that so let’s bring back the counter shall we?

And this counter is apporiate as unlike the seasons i’ts sandwitched between, each of the final three episodes of this arc and the season as a whole tie up one of the storylines. Glomgold does come back in a big way for the finale and Louie’s development coming full circle is just as crucial, making Moonvasion feel like wrap up not just to the della arc but to the season as a whole, But the arcs themselves had solid endings BEFORE that so the finale movie can focus purely on the moonlander invasion, finishing Della’s character arc and giving us a big, avengers endgame style finale to the season. This episode wraps up Glomgold’s bet while pushign teh Louie storyline to it’s conclusion. Granted Owlson will stick around for one more episode, as HER story arc isn’t finished, but we’ll get to that. For now, i’ve ran out of budget so consider joining my patreon (More about that and what neat stuff yo ugeto for signing on at the end. ), but you’ll all love it so GLOMTALES!:

Previously on Ducktales:

Now on Ducktales:

We have to plots that come together, right now, over me, and unlike the last few times there isn’t any plot to get into BEFORE they split off naturally. Sooo....

Hate You, Hate You Both:

So yeah i’m getting the part of the episode that objectively sucks and brings this episode down entirely.

Yeah i’m not remotely playing my cards close to my chest with this one. While Timephoon had issues the Louie plot here? Contender for worst of the season and it’s only not the worst of the series because we have “Launchpad: Too Stupid to Tell Fiction From Reality” and “Sasquatch Plot in the middle of a terrifying psychological horror story” So the show has had worse.. but my my my god this one still leaves a bad taste in my mouth and a rewatch only made it worse.

So Louie is still grounded, with Della having hacked the wifi to have self righteous lectures from here instead of anything fun on Louie’s phone. Hope he dosen’t say have to call for help from an army of super villians. HOPE THAT DOSEN”T HAPPEN.

Anyway the family is going on an adventure as usual, this time an easy breather one to the Big Rock Candy Mountain, which naturally is a real place, to have a vacation for once before the bet finishes. Yup the bet is almost due and Glomgold is trailing with no real hope of catching up in time. More on him soon. I’m counting the seconds. Louie expects he’ll get to go.. but Della dosen’t let him and he’s grumpy about it despite you know BEING GROUDNED AND HAVING NEARLY KILLED THEM ALL.

Yeah this is our first problem, Louie has.. no shame for what he’s done. No repentance, no shred of feeling BAD or residual guilt. This carries over from last episode.. and that’s a problem in itself. They had a whole nother breakdown to correct this problem, have him maybe using his lack of guilt as a cover for the fact he actualy feels bad. His mood instead?

He just expects everything ot be fine after this and expects his mom to bend over. His emotoinal moments this episode fall flat because he did something ABHORENT that nearly wiped out history itself, and is just.. not at all bothered by it or remotely rattled and gets away clean from having ZERO guilt over almost loosing EVERYTHING. He felt bad in the moment but once it was clear there were no consequencs he was fine. And that’s REALLY bad. I THOUGHT Louie’s characterization issues started in season 3 but honestly rewatching his arc.. he dosen’t REALLY grow until the very END of it.. and that’s reset next season. He really has learned absolutely nothing, each lesson just shaking of fhim like tefflon.

It’s annoying enough when a character learns the same lesson again and again in a more episodic show but in this show character development STICKS. Webby slowly learns normal interactoin, Huey’s fear of the unknown is gone after “Terror of the Terra Firmians”, Dewey never leaves his brothers out of stuff the way he did. Lena slowly forgives hereslf for her past, Fenton learns to be a hero, Gyro learns to treat people better, Scrooge learns a ton of lessons and to actually remember who drake is. Things STICK in this series normally so the fact Louie remains almost entirely the same REALLY bothers me. He’s not a bad character and Bobby Monnihan is talented... but for an arc entirely about his development nothing changes.

In contrast Dewey learns the consequences of his selfishness, and that sticks, and Huey has TONS of development scattered across Season 3. While he’s not the most key player in the FOWL arc like we hoped, the show compensated by giving him tons of focus and a clear arc: peace by peace he grows to make peace with chaos. He accepted the unknown.. now he needed to accept the weird and oddness of his world and of life itself. The unpredictablity. And he did wether it was with wrestling, not being the best woodchuck in favor of his girlfriend, or in his own head. Huey CHANGED and while at first I genuinely thought my boy didn’t get a capper to his arc.. honestly he did. It’s just subtle. His final major act in the series is saving his uncle.. by USING the ludicrious nature of the unvierse he’s in. By fully embracing it. He simply says “family is the greatest adventure of all”.. something that like Bradford says “makes no sense”.. but Huey gets now that sometimes the world DOSEN’T make sense, sometimes it is just plain weird.. and that’s okay. IN the end what seperates him from our big bad is Bradford refused to accept the world is weird, wonderful and diffrent.. and Huey did, and Huey won because of it. Louie.. is just a greedy dick and while his greedy dickery does win the day here, he dosen’t really feel lik ehe’s ever sorry for what his greed has done and the next time it bakcfires it’s soley on Louie himself so he never gets to.

Now you’d THINK Della would also be sympathetic right?

Yeah no Della leaves her child with an unstable reporgammed DT-87 (the robot from day of the only child) that she HOPES won’t turn evil that zaps him any time it detects a scheme. There.. there is so much wrong in that one sentence it’s astounding.

Okay first off GYRO built and refurbished the DT87. Gyro.. the guy who didn’t think to put a homing device in your rocket della. And the fact it wasn’t tested yet dosen’t excuse this: he built a full manual and as far as I can tell the only thing faulty on the rocket was the cosmic ray shielding fantastic four stylez. A guy who on a GOOD day usually makes about 5 or 6 ultrons to Hank Pym’s one, is petty and vengful and has every reason to hate your son after he stole his invention the other dayyyyyy, and nearly undid time with it. Your trusting HIM not to murder your child.

I get not having most of their associates look afte rthem: With selene it’s not really kosher to ring up your ex to look after your kid, the cabs, fenton and most others they have at this point are too scamable, and most who aren’t are going with you on the vacation. But you had two VALID other options to babysit him without depriving Beakley or Scrooge of a vacation. Duckworth whose STILL in the manor and for NO REASON GIVEN dosen’t watch Louie or take care of watching his schemes himself, and thus creates a massive plothole in the “tourturing your son with a robot” subplot. And of course the biggest, most obvious one of all Della...

Yeah I do not get in the slightest why Della isn’t the one watching Louie. The ONLY reason he’s alone is for the plot later... and even that makes no sense.. just have him fake his defection still, but have it clear Della’s in on it or get she’s planning something. This plot would work better if Della, feeling responsible, stayed behind to make sure Louie stayed grounded. It’d also give more weight ot the mansion invasion..which has plenty but adding in them fighting one of the main heroes would make it so much more exciting. Instead.. Della leaves one of her kids home alone with a neglectful ghost and a possibly muderous robot. This is easily the worst thought out thing she’s ever done nad yes i’m very much aware she shot herself into space with no planning , commuincations or backup because a creepy and suspcious old man told her where a rocket was. Leaving your child to get murdered by a robot instead of watching him yoruself, something your other children would FULLY understand you having to do and only be a little bummed at your absence, really tops it, especailly since she’s had 10 years to grow th ehell pua nd.. not do this.

So we get the payoff as Della wants him to stop scheming.. but Louie is worried it’s all he has. And i’d feel for him if I felt he had a soul at this point but everything in the last two episodes points to a big fat nope. It’s GOOD character idea: that Louie Schemes because it’s what he knows and dosen’t know HOW to stop.. but it only comes up NOW and isn’t hinted at earlier... which dosen’t work when the premeir is BUILT aroudn Louie having an inner psychological issue tha’ts slowly hinted at. Here he just comes off as wanting to go on a vacation he didn’t earn till suddenly feelings. God I need a frigging break.. and thankfully i’m getting it as we can now get to the actually GOOD part of the episode

The Actually Good Part of the Episode:

So yeah about that bet. Back after that first scene and several hours ago, Glomgold breaks into the Beagle’s junkyard HQ and tries to get Ma’s help for a scheme, which already seems.. off. Glomgold NEVER relies on anyone who isn’t a shark in his schemes. If you look back their always done solo and even with Owlson h’es more mad she’s popping on his party than actually trying to get her to help him despite thinking she’s his assistant. Not only that but his ego means only HE can kill scrooge .. so why would he want one of his other eneimies help? Ma , after the boys caputre him figures it out right away, but before we get to that answer let’s talk about Ma. Ma Beagle.. is awesome here.. a criminal matriach whose hialriously dickish to her sons, clever, pragmatic and of course voiced by the always incredbile and perfectly cast Character Actress Margo Martendale, in between heists of course. The only shame of her character.. is that she ended up sidelined: her sons showed up more because their easier to use as disposable antagonists, she’s too clever for that, and unlike Glomgold, go got this full arc that concludes here, Beaks, who became Fenton’s arch enemy and got apperances outside of that being easier to squeeze in, and Magica who got an arc AND an arch enemy slot with Lena, Ma never really GOT any major focus or depth. Even when we get her backstory we find out she was always a convincing controlling beast of a woman. She’s not a BAD character but with the show’s changed priorites her and her sons just didn’t fit into the world Frank created as well and thus juts kinda faded and it’s a shame.

Anyway Ma has Glomgold figured out: She knows the bet is in it’s last 12 or so hours, and thus Glomgold is desperate to win, and has no real stake in it We then get a moment that’ shonestly.. shocking on rewatch because i’d forgot about it and it’s shockingly out of character, not the poorly written kind the “oh crap this is really serious” kind” Glomgold.. let’s his ego and his walls down and is EMOTIONALLY HONEST. He admits he CAN’T beat scrooge, something you’d think would be impossible for him to grasp.. but he’s tried everything. Done everything he can.. but just. Can’t swin.

But cleverly he’s figured out part of why> I mean obviously he hasn’t figured out it’s his lack of planning or own stupidity, thisi sn’t a miracle ephininy. But he has figured out he can’t do this alone, even though he is strong, he needs something more to him, something that’s the key to victory

That key.. is family Scrooge’s family gives him one of the greatest temas ever assembled when you think about it: The Greatest Adventurer of all time, an ace pilot whose also skilled at hand to hand, thinking on the fly and mechanics, a master sailor, scrapper and dad, ANOTHER ace pilot whose the king of the himbos, nigh unkillable and very good at punches, a former spymaster with decades of experince and combat skills only rivaled by scrooge herself, her daughter whose also the secret daughter of the world’s greatest adventuerer and a burgoning master in all martial arts and history, the brightest young mind of a generation, an instinctive scrapper who would later outwrestle a god, a master manipulator and conman at only 11, the world’s smartest man, and a ghost. And that’s just the major cast, the extended “family” includes an awkward latino genius piloting the most powerful weapon known to duckkind, a gay emo sorceress, her magically genius sister, the luckiest man alive, a suprisnigly briliant and unsuprisingly nuts oceanographer, and an apocalyptic god whose also a horse.

While Glomgold DOES mostly fail because.. he’s glomgold, it’s undeniable he has a point: sure one man CAN fight a cool family team.. but it take sa HELL of a man. Doctor Doom is only able to take on the fantastic four , the world’s second greatest family and all with the power of gods, because he’s the world’s second smartest man, has an entire countries worth of resources and thinks 80 steps ahead when he’s not writtne by a moron who thinks “kill everyone because one of these guys slept with my fiance and surely this won’t ge tthe world to declare war on me for obviously having done something this stupid that could easily be found out”. Syndrome took on the incredibles because again, incredibly smart, rich and ful lof resources, only loosing because of his own ego.

Glomgold has the resource part.. but he’s dumber than a sack of hammers once owned by Pauly Shore. He has the money and sheer tenacity of these dudes but not the actual competence and he’s not like the juggernaught, where he’s phsycially powerful enough for that not to matter. And even Cain would question how sharks are supposed to rob a casino then throw it on top of scrooge using an active volcano the sharks would also move due to using time travel.

But as we’ve seen while ass incompitent a stopped clock can be right twice a day.. and Glomgold is right here. Villian teams exist for a reason: one bad guy can do a lot of damage, but usually only the most powerful can take on an entire team. But together? knowing al ltheir various eneimes weaknesses their a true nightmare. Lex Luthor nearly destoryed the unvierse with th elegion of doom then saved it when that whole thing backfired for reasons I don’t know I didn’t read Scott Snyder’s Justice League Run. The Masters of Evil beat the avengers incredibly badly and only lost because the avengers were lucky enough to get some reinforments in the form of Thor and Ant-Man. The Sinister Six have nearly taken over the world TWICE. A good villian team can break worlds.

And as you can tell I like one of those and the idea of gathering all the biggest villians in the series wa sa great one. Granted I prefer ones more like the suicide squad, the secret six and the thunderbolts that are smaller villians trying to eithe redeem ehsmevles, forced to do the work, or trying to make a name but this is still awesome.

So with a right hand woman and three hired goons/sons in place, we get our opening credits. And they.. are .. glorious...

youtube

I just.. this whole thing is fucking glomglorious. I’ve rewatched it about 10 times since then and probably watched it a good 10-20 times when the theme song takeover first went online. There’s just SO much good stuff from the various half asssed (inteitnoally the art to make the hallfassery look hilarous is still very good on the crew’s part) graphics, from the blueprint begining, to the chroma key nightmare over the scrooge stinks to the cardboard at the end, to the “fancy” cg.. there’s just about 80 diffrent things to love about this. The hot air balloon WHICH SHOWS UP LATER and the sparkly suit. And that’s not even getting into the lyrics, from the actually clever bits like “Cannae top my grand plan to beat that scots man” to it devolving into glomgold, like he does with everything, winging it as he goes.. i’ts just fucking beatufiul and one fo the series best gags and ONLY not the best because of the all I do is win funeral dance. But it’s an easy second and this is easily Keith’s finest comedic performance as the character. I really miss the dude and hope he gets more work soon. I also can’t help but miss flinty.. and everyone in this series really. “Sigh”.

Anyways, onto the next member of the Legend of Glom, thank you Kev for that name: Mark Beaks. Mark is naturally running his own form of cryptocurrency because he’s natures perfect fuckboy. We naturally get a it’s in the cloud gag. Beaks has no real intrest in it because he’s so up his own ass he can see the tumorous pile of dank memes that subsittues for his brain. Ma balks at needing him, valid, but Glomgold does point out they need a “gyro” so Ma helps by manipulating him, playing on Beaks ego by saying they don’t REALLY need him, thus maknig him WNAT to join.

Next up is our old pal Don Karnage, showing up for the only time this season. It’s alwas a pleasure to see Jamie Camil again and i’m glad he’s voice acting quite a bit after this and star vs. He’s always a pleasure. Also I love the fact the Glom Air Balloon is real and it makes me think he has a Glomcopter and Hidenglom too. Anyway, Glomgold while having a good idea in legion of dooming it, still can’t hence immitating scrooge as you can see with Don on the roster because pilot. He is a valid counter though and Don IS more than happy to join.. granted he thinks this is all about DEWEY but no one here cares about a grown man wanting to murder a child so he’s all Don’s. This SEEMINGLY completes it: Glomgold naturally counters scrooge, in theory, Ma is smart ands scrappy enough to counter the more refined and just as badass beakley, the boys are larger and stronger than the triplets, Beaks has shown he can hack gyro’s tech before so he’s the natural choice for him and Don is also a himbo pilot. Not only that but while Glomgold HORRIBLY undereistamted the kids he STILL somehow managed to fall backwards into perfect counterpoitns for them: Beaks is a technical genius who Huey has a personal grudge with while being a grifter just like louie.l , and Don is a theatircal instincual badass moron like Dewey.

This being flinty he did miss something by having his thumb over the photo: Webby. And while he balks at it because again, it’s implied he dosen’t see the children as real threats because well. .he’s stupid and underestimates everyone up to and including scrooge, Ma ISN’T so stupid as Webby has kicked her ass before. Ma KNOWS Webby is just as dangerous as the adults in single combat and while she dosen’t admit it out right, it’s clear she knows she’d loose again even in an unfair fight as Webby has foiled her THREE TIMES now. Unlike Glomgold , Ma knows when to quit.

But just like the boys, Webby DOES have a natural arch enemy and counterpoint, a wild card badass. It’s just Glomgold wants nothing to do with her for understandable and unsurprisingly petty reasons: Magica. DeSpell. Flinty is naturally sore everyone considers HER Scrooge’s greatest enemy and not him... even though you know she’s actually gotten a few vicotries and even her latest loss still involved her besting scrooge, killing her niece and unleashing a horrifying shadow army. I mean sure that plan backfired in the long run: Clan McDuck was firmly reunited by the experience, whlie she struck Lena down, the teen ebcame more powerful than magica could ever imagine, and the whole mess gave Violet her origin story, not only giving lena a home and sister but Clan McDuck one of their most resourceful and powerful allies. But credit where it’s due Magica still nearly won AGAIN after this and, while accidently making Lena stronger than ever in the process, would eventualyl get her full power back and end the series turning it’s biggest threat into her harmles familiar. Glomgold would end it hitching a ride with her after ruining his reputation again.

Magica isn’t QUITE back in the game yet though as post gaslighting, see my Lena retrospective for alla that, she’s working at Funzo’s. Everyone’s outfits are amazing though why Flinty thoguht Beaks needed to be disgusied as a child to get in I have no idea. Adults seem to be fine just fine hanging around Funzo’s party or no. Anyway Flinty TRIES to weasel out of it by whispering to her.. only for Magica to overhear them talking after and is naturally in.. after getting chewed out by her boss for swearing vengance on children again. Also as a reminder.. her boss is her arch enemy the phantom blot, who while using this job to keep an eye on her is probably REALLY enjoying making the monster who massacred his entire family miserable. As a former minimum wage employee myself, i’d normally not side with managment.. but it’s Magica and again, she did a genoicde on a whole villiage. This si the one time in fiction I can side witht he douchey manager over the employee.

So with that Glomgold’s legion is formed, gets a badass montage as they prep and lands in the Iron Vulture, utterly decimating the defenses in front of a horrified Louie. Gee Della it’s almost like you shoudl’ve stayed because the manor gets attacked every so often and even with Duckworth he might not be enough.. as evidenced by the fact Magica takes him out in seconds with a ghost banishing amulet. LIke I get she coudln’t of predicted a legion of doom, the whole point of one when done right is to catch your foe off guard and thus use suprise as part of your arsenal, throw them off ballance by suddenly being confronted with all their foes at once. But their foes attack the mansion on a daily basis clearly, and said mansion , while a fortress isn’t impreginible. There’s an entire sublevel of dangerous shit, and an entire garage. If Louie DID somehow beat dt87, which he would’ve had time to had this attack not happened, and unleash some horror duckworth couldn’t stop and he coudln’t think his way out of. .he’d be dead and it’d be your fault. I just.. gahhhh.

So Glomgold makes his grand decleration.. only for Louie to point out that no one else is home... which pisses off the rest of the Legion of Glom who quickly realize as usual Glomgold didn’t even have 12% of a plan. Which fair on Beaks, the Beagle Brothers and Don. The former four are as short sighted as Glomgold and the latter one is both that and hasn’t even met the guy before today. But Ma and Magica CLEARLY know him well, and thus have no excuse for not asking followup questions. Louie however, actually DOES have a plan he’s willing to share.. provided he’s let in.

So we get our climax. At the finale tally thing for the contest, everyone is waiting and Owlson can BARELY hold back her excitement at getting to work with an actual adult. I feel so effing bda for her knowing what’s coming and knowing that after a YEAR of putting up with a manchild, she’s about to have that hope yanked away. Like that poor fucking woman my dudes.

Anyway the Legion of Glom arrive and we get a cool parallel shot.. and of course Scrooge assuming this is Magica (Which Flinty gives the great reply to of “I’M STANDING IN FRONT!”). The enusing fight is awesome with both sides holding their own and naturally for this show a few great gags as Dewey runs from Don (”Is it my fault I stole the spotlight from you?”)

Beaks just taking a fetal position from Launchpad as “I was supposed to fight Gyro” and Magica and Flinty arguging over who gets to kill scrooge. This cool as hell fight that was promoted in the season 2b trailer for damn good reason (including a sneaky reedit of magica to be green to hide the twist from nightmare on kilmotor hill, tha’ts th ekind of trailer lying I can get behind), Louie descends.. and reveals he’s on the bad guys team. And again Della being there with him WOUDLN’T of stopped this, he coudl’ve just told her but again nope we got this instead.

Louie actually does the impossible and gets Glomgold the win, as he simply has al lthe villians pool their resources... which makes sense. Alone they all have PLENTY from blue collar crime, white collar crime, dark magic stuff, plundering and what have you, if not enough to compare to scrooge> Together.. they easily top him and win..... and just... Zan’s face when she realizes Glomgold somehow won...

That... poor woman needs ALL the therapy.

Naturally though it’s not THAT easy. Cue up your faviorite jojo, theme , last suprise whatever fits, because Louie pulls one hell of a gambit here that despite his actions I can’t help but bask in the brilliance of: Naturally this was all a long con and in an utterly awesome move I didn’t see coming when I first watched the episode the show actually uses the whole Duke Balloney reveal as a huge chekovs gun, thus making Louie’s presence there suddenly VITAL: Glomgold signed the papers making hi mand Louie buisnesss parnters with his current name. But being Glomgold he never LEGALLY changed it. Flintheart Glomgold is a fake name, making the documents invalid.. and thus making LOUIE the winner of the contest.

The vilians are rightfully pissed, not helped by the fact that seconds before Louie revealed his gambit, Glomgold naturally planned to take it all for himself. Instead he gets angrily chased into the seas as the Villians have now lost EVERYTHING, Louie is richest duck in the world and Glomgold is defeated and hated. For now.. but that’s for later.

To wrap things up we do get a touching, if unearned scene of Louie being vunerable with his mom, admitting he NEEDS to be able to scheme and gambit.. but he’ll try to be better about it and Della agreeing to catch him when he falls nad be there for him. There’s just one wrinkle though.... Louie needs to sign back the companies.. but he’ll do that right? Louie? Louie? Lou...

Final Thoughts:

This episode is a mixed bag. As i’ve gone into enough so I shan’t go into again, the Louie and Della plot blows raspberries. But the Legion of Glom stuf fis fun as hell, the final fight is great and the final reveal is utterly awesome, showing Louie HAS learned at least how to scheme better and providing him the perfect target for it: Louie wins against a person who like him has a tendency to go with the first draft o fa plan and not think.. by finally THINKING through his plan entirely. While I admit Louie’s growth a saa person is pretty non existant till the next episode, his growth as a maginficen tbastard is subtle.. but there the whole way. He starts out with a decent but finite scheme he squanders and being too lazy to work.. and then slowly grows over his next episode, outwitting his arch enemy and doing something good befor efinally cresncdoing here with Louie using his powers smartly, patiently and in a way that not only saves his family but makes him the richest duck in the world. I have my issues with this arc... but I can’t deny it has it’s moments. I’ll get more into the arc itself next time.

For now though, we’ve reached the end of Flinty’s arc. So how was it?

The Flintheart arc has some REALLY good stuff to it: Zan Owlson is the foil Flinty truly needed, Keith gets to ham it up to perfection, and the arc does show, outside of raiders, the Flinty is pretty competent if still held back by his stupidity. We get some of the best moments in the ENTIRE series from GlomTales, to All I Do is Win, to Glomgold’s backstory, to the big legion of doom brawl to “I’m going to dry off by the fire”. So it’s not bad or a waste of my time and I was happy to revisit it.

I’ts real problemn is that i’ts one of THREE arcs this season and as the most superflous it’s given the least improtance. Della’s arc is important because... duh, and Louie’s is because it’s his season in the limelight and does give him some depth. Glomgold’s.. is there entirely to fool the audience about who the big bad is till Lunaris gets there. That’s it. IT’s fun as hell, gives us a great new character and the further payoff in the finale IS great.. but overall the arc is just kind of there. There’s no real stakes because the only way Flinty ALMOST won was by a last minute scheme, the only way anyone thought he might possibly MAYBE win. Every episode in the arc, which is too short on top of all this, has him loose hard. I love the guy, he’s my faviorite character in the show closely tied with Huey... but he’s just not a credible threat. It’d be like if Captain Boomberang somehow turned out to be the big bad of suicide squad.. I mean he could I have’nt seen it at the time of this writing, and I do love me some Boomerbutt but Digger just isn’t compitent enough to pull that off and neither is glomgold. By the way Captain Boomerang was the flintheart glomgold of the dc unvierse and the 1980s. Point is the arc isn’t BAD but ti is dispaointing and despite hyping Glomgold up as a big threat.. he’s ultimately only the appitizer and I wish he could’ve been more.. even if I get why not.

Next Time: we’re almost done as Scrooge makes the mistake of letting Louie hold onto the fortune a while and nearly dooms earth and his nephew over it while Della faces some hard truths about her crush/roomate/best friend on an accidently hardhitting dewey dew night.

If you liked this review, consdier joining my patreon. As you could probably tell by the fact that like many I joine din the blackout fridayI’m not a fan of tumblr+ : I don’t like my audeince having to pay 5 bucks for exlusives and would STRONGLY prever add based monteization instead like they used to have so I can get paid like a reasonable person. But I would like to mak ea living doing this so Patreon is the compromise: exclusive reviews, polls once I get enough people to do that as I onl yhave two right now, and a FREE REVIEW on signup await you and it only costs a buck a month. That’s right not 5 or 10 or some such bullshit. Just one for everything. And if you DO want to pay 5 a month, your welcome to and get ONE GUARNATEED REVIEW , public to all and not put up behind any paywall, a month. Whatever you want.

And THAT’S NOT ALL. Right now I have a membership drive going with juicy exclusvie reviews that i’ll do if I hti certain goals. Right now JUST ONE PERSON joining will get me to review ALL OF QUACK PACK. All of it. Not episode by episode, but it will probably be a months long project broken up into four ten episode chunks or two 20 episode chunks. So if you want more duck content from me and wnat to see me truly baffled and uneasy, then this is yoru goal.

But this quack pack goal is ONLY THROUGH AUGUST 2021 so ACT NOW. You’ll also get full season reviews of Tuca and Bertie Seasons 1 and 2 and Amphibia. And the more people that join the more goals I hit and the more reviews I sign on for over the rest of the year and into the next: Two new patrons gets all this, the drive exclusive goal of a rise of the tmnt retrospective, a review of Brian Lee O’Malley’s other works before and after Scott Pilgrim, and a trio of Paramount+ based reviews for my animatoin people: Kamp Korral, Rugrats 2021, and the iCarly reboot. Finally if THREE of you join overall, you get ALL this and the drive exlusvie goal of Garfield and Peanuts special retrospectives, including all films for both, and most importantly A SEASON 1 REVIEW OF THE OWL HOUSE. So if you want all this juicy stuff sign up NOW. There’s only so much time left. If you can’t that’s fine just let people know. But if you can, HERE IS MY PATREON GET AFTER IT.

#ducktales #glomtales #flintheart glomgold #louie duck #magica despell #webby vanderquack #della duck #scrooge mcduck #zan owlson #don karnage #ma beagle #dewey duck #huey duck #bentina beakley #launchpad mcquack #mark beaks #the phantom blot

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nice-kill-tanaka · 3 years ago

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May I have a my hero and ohshc matchup plz

I'm a short girl around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. I have a very kind heart and sad stories or ones with very happy endings make my heart happy or hurt like crazy. But even though I'm kind that doesn't mean i am nice all the time. I am extremely grumpy and have a short temper especially on no sleep or if I just woke up. I also do have adhd and some anxiety I dont like being touched randomly unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. As for dreams I'm not sure I wanna be a voice actor but not too sure if its right for me as I don't know how to edit or even have the equipment. I want someone who can just listen to me as I ramble on about things I love. I want someone to understand that I think differently then normal people. I also want someone to be able to understand im not the most affectionate person but I can be if given time but I will help someone if they are touch starved like I am.

[🌄 @cutelittleriot requested one (1) regular My Hero Academia matchup. I have just the ingredients for that! Sit tight while I get to work.🌌]

YAYYY!! First bnha matchup!! I gotchu bud 👍 I’m thinking about trying something new for the bnha fandom in particular. So, I’ll try it out and see what you think! Also, I got a little carried away with this one, so if it doesn’t seem characteristically accurate to you, please tell me!! 😖

And, the lucky person is:

⛰Eijiro Kirishima⛰

Quirk: Dragon

Dragon is a mutation quirk. It manifests slowly over time, until the user becomes about 60% dragon-esque at around 15/16 years old.

Scales and tough skin appear on the arms, legs, and face. Sharp teeth and claws grow in. Horns protrude from the forehead. A tail grows from the spine. Finally, wings grow from the back.

Flesh becomes twice as tough in places where scales are.

Depending on the user’s body type, wing usage is limited. (Since you’re generally shorter than average, “flying” and gliding comes easier to you.)

When the user consumes pressurized carbon dioxide, their stomach converts it into flammable gasses. Which allows the user to breathe- er...burp...fire.

Fire must be carefully used however. The smoke produced can accidentally be breathed in, causing lung damage.

🌱Humble Beginnings🌱

I’ll start by saying this: Being bullied is never fun. Being bullied over something you can’t easily control or change? Rub salt in it, why don’tcha?

You weren’t sure what the select few kids in your grade thought was so hilarious about your quirk. But, they managed to find enough wrong with it to do their damage for most of your time in school

First, the patches of scales that showed up on your skin were “too weak”. Then, your awkward transition stage with growing horns, wings, and tail was suddenly “ugly”

By the time your quirk fully manifested, the jeers finally devolved to “freak-ish”

Like a river carving out the Grand Canyon, the work was slow and wore you down over time. But, the impact was a lot bigger than even you’d initially thought

While you managed to somewhat heal and learned to guard your emotions against such hurtful things, that’s all you learned to do: Guard yourself. You were a shield with no spear, since you never fought back

With the help of supportive parents and teachers, your self-esteem wasn’t so low, but you did often downplay or underestimate your abilities

Like, Bitch??? You can burp fire??? Know your power???

The people you were on good terms with seemed to see a potential that you either disregarded, or didn't know about all together

They saw the way you treated others with consideration and forethought. How, despite (or because of) your anxiety, you remained hyper-aware of the problems of others and how to accommodate. And while your anger did have its vices, people knew how hot your righteous rage could burn

It actually took a lot of convincing for you to even apply to U.A.

Outside of your other aspirations for the future, you didn’t particularly feel worthy for the job. Of anything you could be, you weren’t a fearless, upstanding, unshakable individual, not even giving a second thought to throwing yourself into danger for the good of others. You weren’t your alleged definition of a hero, and that was enough to deter you

But, whenever you recited your polite (well-rehearsed) decline, most gave you the same weirdly optimistic retort:

“Just try, maybe you’ll do better than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

So, here you were at an entrance exam full of people you hardly knew, wondering how you even rationalized to yourself that this would go just fine

The written exam went okay. As well as you could for literally guessing what to study to pass

All you had to do was do your best on the physical exam, and you’d be done for the day

But, your issue was in the people around you, not the exam itself

You were aware of the high amount of attention the moment you walked onto campus. The way other kids measured you up from a distance, studying everything about your not-so-human body. Watching your every move, especially the way your movements were strained from soreness (A short period of intense training tends to do that to you). You assumed they also wanted to see if your disposition was as powerful as your quirk suggested

((You specifically noticed a coltish, green-haired kid muttering to himself, questioning if your wings could actually support your body weight))

Even now, as the prospective heroes-in-training warmed up, you felt the stares burning into you

Half of you wanted to lift your eyes and rhetorically ask what the hell they were looking at, only feeling more annoyed as you snorted and returned to what you were doing. The other half wanted to fold into yourself until you disappeared (If only it were that easy)

But, you had enough (Roughly, one billion) worries on your mind to put confrontation on the list. Shaking off your anxious shivers as you lowered your head and continued with your “stretches” seemed so much easier

(A.k.a. Staring off into space as you held your limbs in awkward positions)

The time to begin the physical test was drawing near, and your self-doubt hadn’t eased up. Maybe this was a mistake. You didn’t belong here. Not when so many other students could fill the space you’re wasting so much better. Maybe if you slipped through the back now, you’d save yourself the disappointment of not living up to your own standards

“Hey, brown-haired girl! With the horns!”

You heard a gruff whisper from not to far behind you, from the left. You tensed for a moment, wondering what the voice could possibly want from you. But, the sight you saw was rather unexpected

The voice definitely matched the body, bulky and slightly rough looking, a little taller than you. Matched with a sweet face, sharp teeth, and bright, spiky, red hair. The smile he showed you instantly calmed your thoughts

“…Hm?”

You gave a short response, not wanting to jump to conclusions yet

“I saw you looking kinda psyched out over here, so I thought talking to you would make you less nervous!”

You felt a warm and fuzzy sensation in the pit of your stomach. As much encouragement as you got to achieve things, you didn’t see much of it to consider how you felt. How you could feel better. You liked it, which was surprising, considering the encouragement came from a perfect stranger

“Oh, uhh…thanks then. But, I’m fine, I promise! I’m no more nervous than you are.”

“Well, that’s also why I came to talk…I’m kinda freaking out too…”

This boy’s transparency was almost scary, but on the other hand, very comforting. You didn’t catch him trying to stare at your mutated parts once as you talked. Your eyes were the thing he seemed the most focused on, and while it made you embarrassed, it was the good kind (if that makes sense)

But, soon enough, the announcement for the beginning of the exam came over the loudspeaker, and you and your acquaintance had to look out for yourselves. But, before you parted ways, the redhead turned to you

“I’m Eijiro Kirishima, by the way! See you when I see you, Shortie!”

🌳Flourishing Love🌳

The beginning of Kirishima seeing you as a romantic option happened not too long after parting ways at the physical exam

He was almost completely cornered by one of the machines students could disarm for points. And just as that was happening, you had just turned the corner after shaking off another one

You saw Kirishima, but he definitely didn’t see you, trying hard to look tough, but struggling to stand his ground

It quickly dawned on you that Kirishima didn’t have a quirk that could easily deal with the hostile device. And if he did, he was too scared to use it

You vetoed the idea of charging in head on first. You didn’t feel like getting yourself or Kirishima hurt. Especially without a plan. You needed to be smart about getting your only acquaintance out of this situation

Your heart raced and your execution was all but clean, but you ended up using your fire breath to weld the robot’s wheels to the concrete

Before you let your inhibitions get the better of you, you climbed the machine and punched out the camera on the front. From atop the beast, you hung your tail over the edge low enough for Kirishima to grab. You didn’t dare look down at the ground

“Dammit Eijiro, grab on!!”

Once you felt a weight on your tail, you used your wings to propel you both forward. Obviously, away from the robot

You were too high on adrenaline and fear to notice, but Kirishima stared at you like you were the embodiment of Heaven on Earth. The stars in his eyes almost seemed inappropriate for the situation 😅

You looked just as—if not more—afraid than he was. But, you seemed so okay with the fact that you weren’t fearless, and acted like a true hero anyway. He admired, dare I say loved that about you

And he didn’t even know your name

As soon as you found out that you and Kirishima were in the same class, you felt instant relief. At least you were familiar with someone at U.A.

You guys’ friendship developed rather fast, like and extrovert adopting an introvert

Kirishima quickly noticed how fast you opened up once you got comfortable around him, and loved you all the more for how bright and vibrant the unfiltered you was

He found himself picking up on your sense of humor, telling dad jokes you whisper under your breath to the Bakusquad (Much to Bakugou’s dismay 😅)

Don’t worry, he always gives you the credit 😉

As time went on, Kirishima learned to appreciate how blunt you were. He realized that he needed someone to tell it like it is (“It isn’t manly to sugarcoat things! 😤” he says)

And while Kirishima prefers physical activities over video games, he loves to hype you up while you play before classes

It was only natural a mutual crush would form :D

Kirishima finally worked up the guts to ask you out after the U.S.J. Incident

You and him had gotten separated (You had gotten trapped with the cold son of Endeavor. And you both took out the villains with an awe-inspiring display of fire and ice)

Kirishima was faced with the reality that either of you could lose each other at any moment. And while both of you came out alright, he realized he couldn’t be wishy-washy about his feelings for you

He told you on your way to school the next morning:

“Look. What happened yesterday really scared me. Normally, I wouldn’t say that, but I think you deserve to know. Because…you mean a lot to me!! More than I can put into words. I love when we have fun together, and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I never got to tell you how I felt…”

“Basically…I like you!! Like…in the romantic way…”

Your early morning grumpiness dissipated almost instantly, replaced by momentary confusion and disbelief, then embarrassment and joy. Was this really happening…? The boy that took a chance on you since the beginning, confessed that he had feelings for you…? Even though you didn’t question your relationship, you always assumed the nice things Kirishima said, the way he looked at you, was all part of the pleasantries. You questioned if you were even worth all of that

‘But you are.’ The little voice Kirishima helped you develop said. ‘And he would say more if he didn’t look so embarrassed.’

And so, you accepted Kirishima’s confession. And he saw the sweetest smile you had ever given him since the first time he complimented your puns 😊❤️

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one matchup for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

#caravan commodities #special bindles #matchup #cutelittleriot.traveler #cutelittleriot.request #mha x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #mha matchup #bnha matchup #back on the grind #😊#my other choices would’ve been Mirio or Sero

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neverdoingmuch · 4 years ago

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a superhero au from this ask.

okay so in this au superheroes join different sects as disciples and go through a superhero training program and then if they pass they become official superheroes for the sect

for the most part things stay the same, your good guys go out and defeat evil and save the day but there’s also a bunch of extra stuff bc they’re in a sect

the extra stuff is mostly legal stuff like if you destroy a building in a fight, who pays for it and what happens if a superhero goes rogue, who stops them?

so the sects are good bc they give that security and also make sure things run smoothly, so you don’t end up with three superheroes in the one area

obviously you still have independent superheroes but they usually get picked up by a sect pretty quickly (or join the wens who are just the bad guys i guess but shh they’re hiding it,, badly)

for the most part though, new heroes realise they can’t cut it and quit

notice the most, because there are a few people who don’t, including people like the yiling patriarch

so, worldbuilding aside, let’s start with lwj

bc we still have sects, lwj and lxc both went through the training program together and even graduated a few years early, meaning they debuted pretty young

they were both way too powerful to actually be needed in the field most of the time so lxc ended up helping his uncle and lwj started teaching at the training program (and even when he is needed, it’s usually enough just to send lxc, so he hasn’t been active in like five years)

life is going pretty okay for lwj but then there’s a fight between some wens and yllz and a building ends up being destroyed - lwj’s apartment building

at first he’s like whatever i’ll just stay at a hotel till it gets fixed but then he gets told that there’s some issue with the building regulations so it’ll be more than a year

lwj goes apartment hunting and ends up finding the perfect apartment. it’s spacious and convenient and looks really nice and the only drawback is his neighbour (spoiler: it’s wwx)

now we have wwx

he used to be a disciple with the jiang sect and was on track to graduate their training program probably even younger than the twin jades but then he dropped out suddenly. no one knows why

what happened was that wwx had befriended wen ning at an intersect meeting thing where the training heroes could compete against each other

when wen ning found out the truth about the wens being evil, he begged wen qing to take their family and leave the wens to get to safety. wen qing refused bc who would they go to? who would risk everything they had to keep them safe?

wei wuxian would.

and he did!! when he found out what the wens had gone through, he immediately quit the jiang sect and spent the next four years helping them go in hiding, making fake identities etc.

the only people who refused to leave were wen qing and wen ning and a-yuan so wwx was like i’ve done my best now we gotta live and ends up buying an apartment for the four of them and gets a job

at night he goes out as yllz and tries to bring the wens down. it’s slow-going at first and he’s just busting minor crimes and not really gathering any useful information but he keeps going bc a-yuan and the others will never be safe for as long as the wens are able to keep hurting people

he works a full-time job during the day and spends his nights fighting crime and he’s always tired and sore but it’s fine because he needs to do this but then one day his new neighbour moves in next door

the first time he meets him, he’s come back from work and by the time he bakes a welcome cake it’s like 10:40 and he goes over and knocks on his neighbour’s door and the guy eventually answers and holy fuck he’s hot (also grumpy bc lwj does not appreciate being woken up)

lwj slams the door in his face without even taking it from him, so wwx just leaves it on his doorstep and goes back home to nap for a few hours before going on patrol

the next day when he gets home from work there’s a letter in front of his door and when he opens it it just says thanks for the cake it was very delicious if unnecessary

wwx writes on the back: it’s all fine! i’m glad you liked it. if you need any help settling in, i’d be more than happy to help. he adds his phone number and then he leaves the note on lwj’s door and that’s where it all starts

the next morning he wakes up to a text from lwj saying that he appreciates the offer & his name. it’s short and kind of rude but wwx is lying there going lan zhan, lan zhaaaan, his name is lan zhan

they run into each other in the morning a few times and take the elevator down together and wwx always chatters at him. lwj doesnt really respond but he doesn’t tell him to shut up either so that’s practically permission

and wwx is no idiot. he knows that hot neighbour + texting ability = potential romance so he makes sure to text lwj a lot

and by a lot, i mean a lot. lwj is sitting in a meeting with his brother and by the time he finishes he has fifty new messages

but that’s okay bc lwj kinda likes the attention he thinks? lwj’s neighbour is funny and cute

and after a while, lwj starts responding properly. it’s not like he’s sending 50 messages back but he’s engaging wwx in conversation and sometimes they call and once, when wwx was coming back from work, lwj had invited him in for tea

when lwj realises that wwx goes to work early and gets home late he starts inviting wwx over for dinner. wwx doesn’t mention that wen ning is more than able to cook dinner (if he ever mentioned that he was living with him at all) and they start having dinner not-dates and sometimes wwx falls asleep on lwj’s couch

the first few times wwx always felt really guilty bc lwj doesn’t want to put up with that and he’s letting down the wens but wen qing is like no, it’s good, you need to take some time for yourself and lwj is like it’s fine so whatever, wwx can sleep on lwj’s couch now

except it’s not just lwj’s couch bc wwx keeps waking up leaning on lwj and it’s very embarrassing bc he’s starting to find that he has difficulties sleeping without being able to hear lwj’s heartbeat

so wwx is falling in love. wen ning is supportive and wen qing is probably laughing at him but wwx is so conflicted

on one hand, wwx’s entire life revolves around the wens and trying to stop them or protect them, and here lwj is, a completely normal man, who has no expectations about wwx. he doesn’t need to be a guardian for lwj, he doesn’t need to be the terrifying yiling patriarch, he can just be wwx

on the other hand, lwj is a civilian and wwx doesn’t want to drag lwj down with him and risk him getting hurt or killed

so he decides to stay as friends. he won’t give lwj up but he won’t tell him he loves him (unless something happens to make wwx need to give lwj up, in which case he will)

around this time lwj gets a call from his uncle asking for help with the yllz

he’s never met him before but lwj does not like the yllz

like yes he’s taking down the wens which probably makes him good but he’s also taking what the wens had stolen for himself

so no one knows whether he’s a villain stealing from the wens or a hero who doesn’t trust the official means

Either way it’s a bad look for lwj & co bc they either look incompetent for not knowing about this guy & not being able to stop him or untrustworthy and maybe even corrupt

but lqr wants lwj to either bring him in as a disciple or as a criminal. whichever is easier

the first time hanguang-jun shows up to a fight wwx is completely shocked bc he vaguely remembers seeing hanguang-jun fight at the practise matches and he was good, definitely on par with wwx so if hanguang-jun were to fight him he isn’t sure that he’d win.

wwx quickly finishes off the wens and then turns to lwj, refusing to let his guard down but hanguang-jun just asks what he’s doing

wwx is cagey at first but eventually reveals the truth (or as much as he can tell) and hanguang-jun is like i don’t like your methods but what you’re doing is just, so i’ll help you and so commences the most awkward team up ever

wwx had expected to have to carry most of the weight but hanguang-jun is there defending him and helping him fight the wens and he can’t help but start to trust hanguang-jun.

hanguang-jun blocks a hit meant for wwx and wwx spends like half an hour carefully cleaning the wound on his arm and bandaging it up and at the end he presses a kiss to it and he immediately goes bright red but it’s okay bc hgj’s ear are red too

wwx slips on a roof and hgj ends up catching him and damn he’s strong and the look of concern on his face is almost making wwx think hgj doesn’t hate him

hgj brings in some intel once and wwx automatically goes damn i could kiss you right now and then decides to just become one with the floor

not only that but wwx talks a lot. when he’s patrolling, when he’s fighting, when he’s waiting,, he never shuts up and hanguang-jun listens to him every time and, just as wwx fell for lwj, he starts falling for hanguang-jun

it’s even worse in this case bc hanguang-jun is all righteous and good and here wwx is using the superhero equivalent of demonic cultivation (has he perverted his own powers or did he always have necromancy powers? up to you)

so here wwx is falling in love with hanguang-jun and lwj and he feels terrible about it

there is definitely a case going on in the background but it’s basically just the sunshot campaign if only lwj and wwx were fighting it for the most part

eventually he complains to wq about his feelings and she’s like just try confessing! so the next time he and hanguang-jun team up he tells him that he loves him

lwj is 100% in love wwx and semi in love with yllz. for the most part, the things he loves about yllz all remind him of wwx so he doesn’t really see it as a crush as much as more yearning for wwx

but lwj is very awkward so he gives this kinda terrible rejection? he’s like im sorry, i don’t return your feelings maybe we should work apart for a while?

from his pov he’s giving yllz room to deal w/ his emotions alone and they’ll team up later but from wwx’s pov hanguang-jun is so disgusted he never wants to work with him again

so they go their separate ways and when wwx gets a tip-off about some weird shit about to go down at nightless city so he sneaks in by himself bc hanguang-jun definitely wouldn’t want to help him and ends up getting captured by wen ruohan

lwj, for his part, is freaking out bc wwx hasn’t responded to his texts in over a week and maybe he’s come on too strong and wwx has figured out his feelings and is letting him down gently? (by disappearing??)

but then wq comes banging on his door and asks to come in. he lets her in and she immediately tells him i know you’re hanguang-jun

lwj is defensive and ready to be blackmailed or something but she just explains that wwx has gone missing and he’d received a tip the day before he disappeared and when lwj sees the message wwx had got he’s just like why is wwx involved with the wens?

because he’s yllz, wen qing tells him and lwj is Buffering

reason 1: yllz wasn’t meant to be someone he liked and lwj had definitely been feeling guilty about the fact that he would need to be brought in bc he is morally dubious on main & he can’t reconcile that with the sweet and kind wwx

reason 2: holy shit does wwx like me?

bc lwj is a disaster he only ends up asking about the latter and wq stares at him, dead-eyed and exhausted, and tells him wwx is in love with lwj and hanguang-jun

commence lwj’s plan to get wwx back and confess to him and hopefully get married but he’ll be happy if they just kiss and/or hold hands

he starts off by explaining most of the stuff to his brother who ends up calling jyl (bc they have to be friends, i’ll cry if they’re not) who is like my brother?!! and decides to help. also probably nhs bc friends who share porn definitely save each other from wen ruohan

so they attack the wens. for most of the heroes it’s bc they finally have proof of wen ruohan being evil (helpfully collated in a colour-coordinated binder by wwx) but lwj is just there for wwx

he finds him in the dungeons or something and wwx is hurt kind of badly and lwj collapses beside him and presses down on the main wound, trying to stop the bleeding

and wwx goes hanguang-jun? what are you doing here? and lwj says nothing just pushing down harder bc he’s losing too much blood and wwx is like oh, do you hate me that much that you won’t even speak to me anymore?

lwj can’t bear it for another second and rips his mask off and wwx just gawks at him. lan zhan? you’re hanguang-jun? wwx stammers and lwj just nods and rips some fabric from his cape (would he have a cape?) and tries to bandage the wound

wwx asks him why he’s here, why he bothered to come for wwx when he doesn’t care for him but he passes out before lwj can actually say anything

he wakes up in hospital and lwj is sleeping in the chair beside him and the second wwx twitches he jolts up and stares at wwx with such relief that wwx wants to blush

i love you, lwj says, not waiting for another second. the reason i didnt accept your confession was because i loved you. i didnt know you were yllz

and wwx is like and i didnt know you were hanguang-jun!! and lwj is like yeah but wen qing did /:

and wwx is like yeah but she’s smart & they kinda fall quiet for a few moments before wwx is like did you know i think hanguang-jun is very handsome and lwj is like yes? and wwx is like good! lwj is also handsome!

and lwj is like yllz and wwx are attractive to me and they finally kiss and it’s not a complete disaster thankfully

after that lwj goes back to his semi-retirement bc he doesn’t need to catch yllz anymore and sometimes wwx comes in to help teach a class with him and they’ll go home to lwj’s apartment after and watch movies together and not once do they comment on the miscommunication between love interests

#i forgot to find a place to include this in the au but lwj's mum was definitely an unaffiliated superhero #and part of the reason lwj is suspicious of wwx #this ended up being very long sorry!#mdzs #modao zushi #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #cql #the untamed

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hozier-mp3 · 4 years ago

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Ooh challenging one word prompts you say. May I offer “incomprehensible?”

Thank you so much! I vastly enjoyed this one, it made me think for a second. (I’m serious, Love, show up in my inbox whenever you want)

Real quick explanation of my thought process: This made me think about Cas, in both a literal and figurative sense. Cas, first off, knows every language in existence. On this topic, one of the few things he had a hard time finding word for were emotion. So naturally, you got yourself some destiel!

So, for incomprehensible, here is your one shot:

Castiel never had a first language.

His first was simply… them all.

From the language created in the Garden of Eden to the last word spoken on Earth, and everything before, after, and beyond.

His first words were a strange mix between an old russian, english, and of course, a heavy dose of Enochian. From there, for the first few thousands of years, he spoke in a mixture of languages, but his favorite was always Enochian. The way it rolled off of his tongue… Well, not tongue, but the way it simply flowed out of him, it was as though it was completely and totally natural.

When he spoke to angels with charges, it was different. That was back in the early days, of course. But when angels had charges, the charge’s language was always the freshest in their mind, and hence the one most commonly spoken in heaven.

Castiel had always loved that.

Practicing all the different languages, learning the different tongues, dialects, accents, slang.

Well, he supposes that’s likely one of the roots of his fascination with humans.

But soon there was a recall. No angels were to leave heaven. Not until the proper time came, or an important mission was handed out.

Castiel, having The Most Righteous Man as his charge, was the first celestial being to walk the Earth in fifty years.

In hindsight? Heaven had made one of the dumbest decisions in its existence, assigning Dean to Castiel. But no one’s exactly complaining.

Over time, Castiel adjusted to English. Adjusted to the way it moved in his chest, in his throat, in his mouth, around his tongue.

The fact that Jimmy Novak spoke it certainly helped.

But Castiel missed his other languages. Enochian had a word for everything. Every last feeling, every last action, every last color, even the ones that sometimes escaped his eyes when his grace flickered low.

English had his charms, sure, but Enochian sounded, felt, even tasted like home.

As Castiel gained feeling, as Castiel became Cas, he began to recognize the feelings, the things explained in a word in his home but unable to put into an essay in english.

He tried, he really did.

“Profound bond” wasn’t right.

“Family” wasn’t right.

He finally found words, but they only covered half of the fire, the longing that pulsed deep inside him.

He said “I love you,” and it still wasn’t quite right.

He couldn’t help but feel misunderstood, even when he came back.

Even when Dean said “I love you too,” Cas didn’t feel like he had been honest. He didn’t feel heard.

He tries with actions, with fleeting, intentional touches. With passion and fire that Dean reciprocates with the same vigor.

He still cannot fully capture how he feels for Dean.

He feels as though Dean believes he’s understanding, but just doesn’t, and it leaves his mind buzzing.

One day, though, he and Dean sit across from each other, and Dean leans in, pressing a kiss very gently to Cas’ lips, and Cas closes his eyes, smiling. When they finally part, Cas mumbles a word. One, simple word in Enochian.

One that never had an equivalent in English.

One of devotion, of love and passion and one that very perfectly describes exactly how he feels for Dean.

Dean questions it at first, but when Cas grins, saying it again and again like a mantra, Dean stops, smiling.

Cas says it first thing when they wake up together.

He says it when he hands a grumpy Dean his coffee.

He says it into a relieved kiss after a particularly worrisome hunt.

The word gets whispered in large rooms, screamed at the top of his lungs in small ones.

Dean starts saying it back. He’ll say “I love you,” followed by a single Enochian word right afterwards.

Cas believes with all his heart that Dean fully understands him. Even though he may never know the full meaning, Cas is certain that Dean understands just how strong those words are.

He’s finally put it to words, and finally, finally, he’s understood.

Alright, I know, I know, I didn’t use the word itself, but I hope that nevertheless you enjoyed reading just as much as I did writing! <3 Thank you for the ask!

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pinkysfaultorbrainsfault · 4 years ago

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animaniacs - s1e60: the cranial crusader

sorry this one’s late! i went out tonight. it was nice. uvu

episode summary: after realising that the superhero they apparently live with has just one guy left to take down, the mice don capes and masks in the hope that getting there first will gain them noteriety.

the rundown:

we open on a shot of Mouse Car.

according to the narration it’s an opossum car, actually. never mind! rodents are of course interchangeable. opossum car is owned by the caped opossum, who seems to be doing some cool shit with it.

yeet.

thankfully, despite his track record with dangerous driving, the caped opossum makes it home safely, it seems.

good for him.

“chalk up another caped opossum law enforcement victory, alphonse.” obviously, yes, he’s supposed to be batman, but he’s less batman and more a man who’s been smoking 70 a day for longer than i have been alive.

good thing alphonse doesn’t seem to mind! if we’re going full batman here he probably raised the dude, so i can only assume his chainsmoking habits were encouraged.

“astounding, sir. remote?

“thanks.”

as the caped oppossum trundles off to “see if he’s made the eleven o clock news”-- oh? is that a grumpy boy we see in the background?

oh, that is an extra grumpy boy, today. something about superheroes must piss him off. either that, or AKOM got hold of this one.

brain pauses his seething temporarily to devote his attention to pinky, who is narfing quite happily to himself.

“what spectacular adventure awaits the caped opossum in his next issue?”

“grow up, pinky.”

the boys are fighting ):

brain’s in a bad mood today, apparently. as the two of them bicker over whether the opossum is a “crime fighting genius” (pinky) or “a self obsessed, nocturnal loon with a dreadful fashion sense” (brain) the aforementioned object of their discourse is watching the news.

it’s captivating enough for the mice to stop mid-callout post, anyway. i’m so sorry this is the only frame i could get of pinky. flashdance.

“tonight, the caped opossum’s calling card was found again, making a near perfect record for the masked marsupial.”

“except for!” oh god it’s this horrifying lady again. “arch fiend johnny badnote.”

(me: what would you do if i changed my name to johnny badnote? my boyfriend: scream.)

“that cursed johnny badnote! he’s the only thing standing between me and true superhero fame.”

and then he starts to cry and has to be taken away by alphonse.

to that, brain makes a funny face. i’m not sure why.

“are you pondering what i’m pondering?”

“i think so, brain, but i can’t memorise a whole opera in yiddish.”

okay.

as brain picks the lock on their cage-- actually, as brain does that i need to tell you that for some reason there are horrifying squelching noises at this part. i have no idea why. it’s like there’s a portal in there leading to a pasta bake. be thankful you can’t hear them from here. it’s incredibly visceral.

but anyway, no, as he squishes around in there, he explains to pinky that he shall “become a costumed, crime fighting hero, and thwart johnny badnote, overshadowing the caped opossum.” and then he’ll be so famous he’ll be elected, like, world president or something, immediately.

worked for batman. so anyway they go off and do that i guess.

TAADAAAAAA.

MOUSE IN SHORTS. MOUSE IN SHORTS. pinky actually looks sick as hell. i love it. i’m sure i went to class dressed like this once or twice. what an icon! hell yeah! the pink wonder is ready for action!!!

brain has put an awful lot of effort into padding out his muscles, and none at all into wearing any trousers.

hm.

undeterred by the possibility of Embarrassing Slip, the Cranial Crusader (which is his new name now) (better than the john, i guess) shows off his own calling card, which is basically just art theft.

not particularly original. still, they have shit to do, so they go off and steal mr opossum’s car.

which is a crime in itself, but they’re not going to let that stop them.

somehow, brain magically knows where johnny badnote’s hideout is. how? i can’t say. maybe he left his details at the Secret Club For People Named John B that they both go to.

“too bad we can’t use the power possum’s prehensile tail hook to lower ourselves down.” says pinky, who is in the middle of drawing The Caped Crusader Comic Book.

“why, who says we can’t?”

so they do.

good thing there’s no danger in dangling precariously over the edge of a cliff like that.

ah! wait, no, the train says you can’t. sorry, brain.

oof.

the mice are fine, don’t worry. pinky is immune to damage and brain had an albinistic edition of the yellow pages to break his fall.

look at his FEETS.

but that aside. the mice are undeterred, and pinky suggests they use the “power sniffer” to sniff out johnny badnote’s lair, and pushes a bunch of buttons to make that happen.

“you seem to know much of the crimefighter business, pinky.”

“i learnt everything from comic books.”

et voila! the power sniffer!

seems to be in working order. “egad!” yells pinky, “it must really smell something stinky!” before immediately crashing into the wall.

lol.

conclusion:

so it... doesn’t actually take them that long to identify that they’ve crashed right into johnny badnote’s lair.

regular bard, this dude. brain mentions that “thwarting the arch-twerp johnny badnote should be child’s play,”

before they get squoshed by a piano. hee hee.

“if that’s not a song cue,” says the adult progeny of the snow and heat misers, “my name isn’t johnny badnote!” and his name is johnny badnote, so you can tell it’s-- it’s the-- never mind.

he cradles the mice so gently in his palm, and tells them enthusiatically that he’s going to blow up the world.

OH I’M JOHNNY BADNOTE ARCHFIEND FELON SLIME

THE PUBLIC DIDN’T LIKE MY SONGS AND SO I TURNED TO CRIME

i love this bastard. he ties the mice to this giant egg.

“when my metronome yanks out your firing pin, my music box egg grenade will play lovely music for a few, precious, seconds, before kaboom! it gives me your last downbeat!”

“you call that a diabolical plan?” says brain, who is pictured near the bottom there. he’s the tiny white blob.

“oh, there’s more. when i hear that downbeat, i’ll play my missile launching pipe organ and blow up the wooooorld!”

man, i love this guy! why doesn’t he come back? i want him in every episode of the reboot.

“is that diabolical enough?”

“yes.”

but! as johnny badnote prepares himself to play the Johnny Bad Notes, he, uh.

he forgets they’re mice, and they can just... wriggle out.

with a triumphant “narf”, pinky rescues his beloved comic book,

and manages to yeet the grenade in the process.

oops.

still, never mind. nothing bad could come of that. brain leaves his Art Theft Calling Card.

“pinky, let’s get out of here.”

“hey, what’s keeping that downbeat?”

well, job done, i suppose. satisfied, the mice head back to the... possum cave? i guess?

but oh wait, what’s this?

you have got to be kidding me.

still, the imperceptively convenient inkblots do their job, and the mice get the bad news a little later, from the weird, weird looking woman from earlier.

“in other news tonight, johnny badnote was finally captured by a masterful crime fighter and great hero--”

“the caped oppossum.”

well.

that’s... that, i guess.

brain turns off the tv. his facial features seem to have shrunk in righteous rage.

brain: 3 ½ pinky: 5 ½ outside influence: 7

“minature crimefighters??? i’ve got to get out more.”

#patb #a!#pinky and the brain #animaniacs #for real #johnny badnote is the best oneshot character i've seen on this show so far #hulu: i beseech you to bring him back for the 2020

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shootwinterfest · 5 years ago

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WINTER MYSTERY - NEW STORY from ASLEEPINAWELL for Shoot Secret Santa!

Winter Mystery by @asleepinawell

also here on AO3!

"The snow is really coming down now," Reese said as he shut the door behind him.

Shaw inched slightly closer to the fireplace to escape the cold air that had invaded the room when Reese had opened the door. "At this rate we're going to be stuck here tomorrow."

"At least tomorrow," Root agreed as she swept into the room. She handed a mug down to Shaw before settling in front of the fire herself on the other side of Bear. "The Machine says the snow plows won't be able to get through up here until Tuesday."

Shaw took a cautious sip of her hot cocoa. Yep, definitely spiked, thank god. If she was going to spend the next few days crammed into a cabin in the middle of nowhere with the whole team, then she was going to need some alcohol.

"How're we supposed to help our number if we're stuck here?" Fusco asked from the chair in the corner. He'd tried to sit by the fire earlier, but Shaw had sent him away for hogging all the heat. Root only got fire privileges because she'd resorted to cocoa bribery.

"Well, the good news is that our number is snowed in as well," Root said. "It'll be hard for anyone to get to them with all the roads closed." She reached across Bear to try to steal Shaw's mug, but Shaw saw her coming and pulled it back out of reach with a warning glare.

"Good thing I packed some extra snacks," Shaw mused as she sipped her cocoa. "The freezer here is stocked full of nothing but microwavable mac and cheese. Gross."

"What'd you bring?" Reese asked, a little too innocently.

Shaw's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "None of your business and no, I'm not sharing. You should have thought of it yourself."

"You're not sharing?" Fusco asked, outraged. "We could all starve here, you know?"

"Way too much shitty mac and cheese for that to happen," Shaw assured him. She eyed the others, looking for any suspicious expressions. Maybe she should hide her food stash before she went to bed, just in case.

"Don't worry, sweetie," Root said, patting her on the knee. "There's only one snack I want in this house."

Shaw choked on her cocoa.

---------------------------------

It wasn't that Shaw hadn't trusted the Machine when she'd assured them (through Root) that the house was well-stocked with food in the event of them getting stuck, it was that she hadn't trusted the Machine's taste in food, a fear which had turned out to be correct. Thus the small pack full of supplies Shaw had brought for herself. None of it was too fancy: coffee, tea, and cocoa packets, trail mix, a couple types of jerky, a chocolate bar, some pop tarts, cookies, marshmallows (for the cocoa), and a bottle of whiskey. Certainly not fancy dining material, but still, it was stuff with more flavor and texture than frozen dinners and tap water.

"You know, if you hide that somewhere I won't be able to make you surprise spiked chocolate again," Root pointed out once they'd retired to the room they were sharing.

Shaw hesitated over the bag. Root had a point. But…. "That sounds like something someone would say if they were planning to steal my food."

Root paused in mid-stroke of brushing her hair to cast a disdainful look at Shaw. "Sweetie, I'm not interested in your pop tarts."

"That's just what you want me to think." She zipped the pack up and looked around the little bedroom. It was the largest bedroom in the place, but it was still tiny and there wasn't anywhere obvious to hide anything.

Root set aside her brush and sat down on top of the heavy wool blanket on the bed. "When you're done being paranoid about your snacks, come to bed and I'll show you what I'm actually interested in."

That was too good an offer to pass up and Shaw ended up shoving her pack under the bed. If someone wanted to steal it they'd have to get in here without waking her up and good fucking luck with that.

She did make one detour before joining Root, though, to twitch one of the curtains aside and look out at the snow falling.

"We're going to be lucky if we can even get the front door open tomorrow." She could barely see the trees through the heavy snowfall.

"Being stuck here for a few days doesn't have to be the worst thing ever," Root said as Shaw shut the curtains. "I can think of plenty of ways to pass the time."

"Be a lot better if we weren't sharing a tiny cabin with the boys," Shaw said. She walked back to the edge is the bed and, when Root tugged on her arm, let herself be pulled down into the warm blankets and a tangle of limbs. "Guess it's their own damn fault if they didn't bring earplugs though," she decided.

"They'll get over it," Root agreed.

They were both thoroughly exhausted by the time they finally fell asleep. Root, always the late sleeper, might have slept until noon if she hadn't been awoken by Shaw's outraged yell. When she rolled over to see what the fuss was, she found Shaw standing next to the bed looking grim.

"My pack is gone."

---------------

Root was tired, cold, and (because of the first two things) grumpy. She'd had a lovely evening with Shaw in their isolated snow-bound cabin, gotten to go to sleep in a very warm, soft bed, but then been rudely awoken and dragged downstairs to the living room with the boys and accused of petty thievery. The only upside to the whole thing was that Shaw was currently being unbearably adorable in her efforts to unmask the supposed criminal.

"The facts are these," Shaw stated as she paced in front of the fireplace. "Last night I put my own personal pack with my possessions in it under my bed."

"Our bed," Root corrected.

Shaw rolled her eyes. Her hair was still messy from sleeping but pulled back in a loose ponytail, strands escaping everywhere, and her whole face still looked soft from sleep despite her current level of focus. It contrasted nicely with her stern tone and Root couldn't help but smile fondly while she watched her even if it made Shaw look more annoyed.

"Fine, the bed Root and I both slept in."

There was a soft snicker from behind her in the room. John, probably. Neither he nor Fusco had been awake when Shaw had announced the mandatory team meeting.

"Despite the fact I didn't hear anyone come into the room all night, this morning, my pack had mysteriously vanished. Since we're currently snowed in at an isolated cabin, the only viable suspects are the people in this room."

"You seriously think one of us took your food?" Fusco asked. "Seems to me that the most likely suspect was the person already in the room with you then."

Shaw turned her suspicious stare on Root for half a second and then shook her head. "Everyone is a suspect right now. The door was open this morning when I woke up and it was definitely shut when I fell asleep."

"Oh, that part was definitely my fault," Root admitted. "Bear was scratching at the door and I let him in. I left the door cracked in case he wanted to leave."

"He was?" Shaw looked down at where Bear was snoozing near her feet. "I don't remember hearing him."

"Yes, well, you were pretty worn out," Root said, perhaps a bit smugly.

"If the door was already open, then anyone could easily have snuck in," Shaw said. "Or Root could have smuggled the pack out when she let Bear in."

"Or Bear could have stolen it," Root pointed out.

"Bear would never! You take that back!"

John cleared his throat. "It's six am. Can we go back to sleep and sort this out later? You can search the place while we're passed out so you know no one will be eating your stash."

"No one is sleeping until the thief comes forward and returns what they took." Shaw turned her full attention to John. "Where were you last night?"

John was sprawled on the couch wearing pajamas that looked like...a suit. "In my room with headphones on until I fell asleep. I only left it to use the bathroom once."

"And do you have any way to prove that?"

"How would I do that?"

Shaw looked back at Root. "I'd like to call the Machine as a witness."

It was Root's turn to roll her eyes. Shaw was being very cute with this whole righteous detective act, but she was really tired and would rather go back to bed and continue using Shaw as a heat source. "She's been having a hard time maintaining a clear signal with the storm, and also there's no cameras set up here so Her information would be limited."

"Reese and Fusco both have phones."

"True."

"Skynet spies on our phones?" Fusco asked in horror.

"There's a total of twenty three different organizations spying on the average phone at any given time. Trust me, She's not the one you need to worry about. She doesn't care about the websites you visit that you delete from your phone history." Root smirked at the terror on his face. "Private browsers tabs aren't really private, Lionel. How long have you been working with us now?"

John looked thoroughly amused by Fusco's discomfort, so Root added, "And John is no exception, though I'm disappointed in his taste." She didn't have any clue what either of them looked at since the Machine actually believed in privacy for some reason, but she must have hit a nerve because the smile fell off John's face.

"None of this matters," Shaw cut in. She pointed at Fusco. "What did you do last night?"

Fusco was bundled up in a threadbare purple bathrobe in an armchair in the corner. He looked even more tired than Root felt.

"Me? I tried to get my beauty sleep and regretted thinking Reese was kidding about the earplugs thing."

"And you didn't leave your room at all?" Shaw asked.

"No, I...wait, I did. Got up to use the bathroom some time in the night, no clue when. I did see someone else up and about but it was dark and they were at the far end of the hall so it could have been anyone."

"The far end of the hall, as in near the door to my room?" Shaw asked. "Did you see how tall they were?"

Fusco squinted at her. "Yeah, now that I think of it they were really short. Maybe about five foot three. Sound like anyone here?"

"Maybe you stole your own food in your sleep, Shaw," John said, amusement in his voice.

Shaw crossed her arms, her biceps flexing in a threatening way that caused both the boys to stop laughing and Root to have a sudden shift in reasons for wanting to go back to bed.

"This cabin isn't that big and there's nowhere to hide," Shaw said with way more icy intensity than Root thought was strictly necessary for the situation even if it was extremely hot. "It's only a matter of time before I find out who took it." She turned and headed back up the stairs, leaving the others in uneasy silence.

"Shorty really likes her pop tarts, huh?" Fusco asked.

"And how did you know she had pop tarts, Lionel?" Root asked with a smile that was mostly teeth.

"Because I saw when she bought them at the rest stop on the way here," Fusco said, trying to inch his chair away. "Why don't you go talk to her instead of threatening me? You know none of us did it."

"I know nothing of the sort." She stood up and brushed herself off. "I suggest that if either of you are responsible, that you make her pack reappear before she comes back downstairs."

"And how do we know you aren't the one who took it?" John asked.

"You don't."

--------------------

Shaw returned to her room after she finished her second sweep of Reese's room. Root had come upstairs while she was away and was fast asleep in bed again, curled up on her side under all the thick blankets with Bear next to her. The whole scene was kind of endearing despite Shaw's general state of annoyance.

It wasn't like a bunch of junk food even mattered that much; it was the principle of the thing. She doubted Root was the culprit, even if she would have had the easiest access. Though she wouldn't put it past Root to cook up some trouble to keep her entertained while they were stuck. She'd probably consider it some sort of cute gift or something.

There were several feet of snow on the ground outside now and the house was chilly as fuck and Shaw was tempted to crawl into bed next to Root and sleep in the warmth and forget about this whole thing, but.... But she really wanted some goddamn coffee and the almost-acceptable instant coffee she'd packed was worlds better than the shit in the kitchen.

She decided it was time to be practical about the whole thing. The next step any sane and logical human would take at this point would clearly be to draw a detailed diagram of the crime scene and map out all the possibilities.

Root knocked her map on the floor when she rolled over fifteen minutes later. Shaw cursed and reached down to retrieve it. It wasn't her fault that there'd been nowhere else to spread out her research.

"Sameen? What time is it?" Root still looked cranky and her eyes weren't quite open yet.

"It's nine."

"That's still too early," Root grumbled. She rolled over so her head butted up against Shaw's leg and cuddled grumpily against her.

"You tell me who took my food and we can nap all day." That was a lie, but Shaw felt entitled. She was the victim here.

"If I admit to it, can we go back to sleep? It was terrible of me, and you can spank me later."

Tempting for several reasons, but…. "Did you actually?"

"No." The one word was infused with infinite crankiness.

"Then no deal."

Root sighed and then opened her eyes. "Fine, let's get to the bottom of this then."

"That's what I've been saying--" Shaw trailed off at the look on Root's face.

Root flung back the covers and jammed her feet into her bunny slippers with murderous intensity. Shaw watched in fascination as she pulled her oversized fluffy robe (pink, with a hood that had bunny ears to match her slippers) around herself and tied the sash like she was preparing for war. She grabbed her taser from the nightstand and raised an eyebrow at Shaw.

"Well, are you coming or not?"

Shaw trailed after her, half-impressed, half-turned-on, as she hunted down both the boys and corralled them back into the living room.

"Let's start with the obvious suspect first," Root said, her voice full of that cheerful homicidal glee that did things to Shaw. "Lionel."

She rounded on Fusco, tapping her taser against one palm while grinning at him.

"Why am I the obvious suspect?" Fusco protested, looking around nervously.

"You're a police officer," Root said as if the answer was obvious. "Now, where did you put Shaw's pack?"

"I didn't--"

The taser crackled threateningly in Root's hand.

Fusco looked at Shaw desperately. "Hey, can you maybe keep your homicidal girlfriend from killing me?"

Shaw shrugged. "Root does what she wants. You should probably answer her question." She'd stop Root before she could do anything permanent.

"I told you, I didn't take it! Sure, I thought about it. You were so uptight about it who wouldn't have?" The taser buzzed violently again and Fusco leaned so far back in his chair he almost tilted over backwards. "I didn't touch it though! I'm not crazy enough to go into that room. Who knows what I would have walked in on?"

Root paused and tilted her head. "That's actually believable. He is pretty spineless."

"Hey!"

On a different day, Shaw might have defended Fusco from the insult, but he'd just admitted to thinking about stealing her pack to annoy her so he was on his own.

"That leaves you." Root turned on John with a bright smile. He failed to look concerned.

"Why would I take it? I actually like the microwave dinners."

"John, you're going to need a more believable excuse than that."

"No, that actually checks out," Shaw said. "He has the worst taste ever."

"Well, if none of us took it then where is it?" Root asked.

"Hey, why are you suddenly free from suspicion?" Fusco demanded.

Root raised her taser threateningly, but Shaw waved her down, suddenly concerned by something else.

"Where's Bear?"

A quick search of all their rooms turned up no Belgian Malinois.

"Did he get outside?" Shaw wondered. She hoped he was okay out there. His paws might get cold.

"Maybe he's in the basement," Reese suggested.

"There's a basement?" This was news to her.

"Yeah, it's kind of hidden away, but I had to go down there to fight the furnace last night."

"Show me."

The door to the stairs down was hard to spot in a tiny alcove off the kitchen and Shaw had overlooked it last night. The door was also open.

"I think the mystery is about to be solved," Reese said as he led the way down.

The basement was a small, dirty room with a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling and in the middle of the floor was Bear, chewing happily on a piece of Shaw's jerky. Her backpack was lying ripped open nearby, contents strewn about the floor. Bear wagged his tail nervously when they approached.

"Looks like someone was a very naughty a doggy," Root said.

"It's not his fault," Shaw protested ad she surveyed the damage. "He must have been hungry. Poor guy."

"So we get tasered, but the dog gets a pass?" Fusco grumbled.

"Let's go back upstairs," Reese said hurriedly before Shaw could react.

Shaw bent to see what was left. Fortunately Bear seemed to have ignored the chocolate and cookies and other things that might be bad for a dog's stomach, though there was drool all over everything.

"You're a smart boy, aren't you?" she said, scratching him behind the ears.

"Maybe we should bring everything out of the dirty basement," Root suggested. She had stayed behind when the other two left. "He can keep eating your food in the kitchen."

"Yeah, okay."

Twenty minutes later, Shaw was back upstairs and in bed with a mug of hot chocolate (the cocoa mix had been declared salvageable). Root was mostly asleep next to her again and Bear was at the foot of the bed snoring. Life was okay again.

Shaw felt content enough that she even allowed Root to snuggle up next to her without complaint.

"Sameen, I have a confession to make."

"Hmm?"

"I may have seen Bear take your pack last night."

"What? Why the hell didn't you say anything?"

"I was going to, but your little detective routine was adorable and then I got to threaten the boys and that's always fun."

Shaw was tempted to pour her chocolate on Root, but that would have been a waste.

"Well maybe you get to sleep on the couch the rest of the time we're here."

"Is that really what you want?" Root snuggled closer and brushed her lips across Shaw's neck with just the tiniest hint of teeth.

"Maybe," mumbled Shaw without much conviction.

"I'll make it up to you if you let me sleep for another hour."

"Fine. Better be a really good apology."

"Mmm." Root was already drifting back off, her head on Shaw's shoulder.

Shaw sipped her hot chocolate, listened to the soft sounds of Root breathing, and watched the snow fall outside the window. All things considered, it was a pretty nice day.

#shoot secret santa #root x shaw #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIFTING US WITH THIS WONDERFUL STORY!!!#person of interest #sameen shaw #root

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ain-t-bovvered · 5 years ago

Text

15X11 Commentary

I’M AN ASSHOLE THAT FORGOT I STILL HAD THIS EPISODE TO FINISH LOL.

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)

Nat: 3

Nat: 2

Nat: 1

Nat: go

Giulia: lol that tapping tho

Zee: The hissing again

Giulia: Didn t need the hiss

Nat: All good thing must come to an end

Nat: Ew

Giulia: This song tho

Nat: "Big Sam left Seattle"

Zee: He’s too mousy

Giulia: DADDY

Zee: Oh the snacc

Zee: Tf?

Nat: Ah

Giulia: AAAH JEEZ

Nat: Yum

Giulia: he had to have that deep voice. Damn

Nat: Who dat

Zee: Of course

Giulia: Yummy

Giulia: I hope the Winchester won’t kill him

Giulia: Wow

Zee: Ouch

Zee: Welcome

Giulia: MY BABY

Nat: Ah the other daddy

Giulia: LOVE HIM

Zee: When did his voice get so deep?

Nat: snorts, they really went right

Giulia: WHY DIDN T THEY USE THE PHONE

Zee: Silent mode

Nat: SILENT MODE IS ALWAYS AN OPTION. I AGREE

Giulia: what a dad

Zee: Old school bitches

Nat: That smolder

Giulia: Change your diet

Zee: Damn. Does he really sound that deep?

Giulia: Jensen doesn t

Nat: Jensen doesn't but he does have a loud voice

Giulia: Compensating for last time’s kick

Giulia: HEWWO

Giulia: Agent Watts

Nat: Working a Case in Alaska

Giulia: Lizzo

Nat: I'm too old for this shit

Zee: Jack

Giulia: AAAAAH BB

Nat: WHAT

Giulia: AWE BABE

Nat: BABY

Giulia: AWE

Giulia: DON T

Giulia: MY HEART

Giulia: THAT FUCKING UGH

Giulia: WOW

Nat: LOL

Zee: Stop shouting y’all

Nat: WE'RE ON A BUDGET

Giulia: wow

Nat: Two forks

Nat: awe

Zee: Awe poor babies

Giulia: Snort he’s lactose intolerant

Nat: I feel you Dean

Zee: Nuts is good

Giulia: Nuts is good

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: NUTS IS GOOD

Zee: He should shut his face

Giulia: Yeah you are

Giulia: THAT POUT

Nat: Sort of an accident. Yeah

Giulia: DEAN CONTROL YOUR FACE

Giulia: sounds like a job for them

Nat: OH NO

Giulia: OH UH

Zee: He’s so done

Giulia: aaah not ready for cas reaction

Nat: CAS IS DONE

Giulia: AAAAH

Zee: I mean you can stab him but not baby

Zee: Oh shit

Nat: WHAT

Giulia: AW JACK

Nat: NO

Giulia: I DON T UNDERSTAND

Nat: WHY

Giulia: oh ok

Zee: A heart?

Nat: NO

Nat: JACK BB

Giulia: Lol those bar are always the same tho

Zee: Tf is that coin ?

Nat: Winchesters are broke

Zee: Two waters

Giulia: Waters

Nat: Two waters

Nat: PAX

Zee: Pax

Giulia: PAX

Nat: PAX THE SNAXX

Giulia: TO THE MAXX

Giulia: look at him

Nat: so deep

Zee: What she said

Giulia: He’s getting me distracted

Nat: touch it

Zee: Touch it

Giulia: TOUCH IT

Nat: i'd love to

Giulia: don t mind if I do

Giulia: Average

Zee: Control your fucking lips

Nat: lol of course "keep playing"

Zee: Is this the deep voice ep?

Nat: It's probably a criteria to be cast

Giulia: Can he stop with his hands

Nat: I know

Giulia: When he was 4

Nat: Swinging clubs before you were born snorts

Zee: Between naps and snacks

Giulia: The triangle right

Nat: you saw it too. THANK GOD

Giulia: of course.

My eyes went : ZOOOOOM

still me:

Nat: I swear it was on purpose

Giulia: He’s so strong

Giulia: Oh

Zee: I think I miss important

Nat: What

Nat: that fucking smolder

Nat: stop your lips

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: fuck off

Giulia: What she doesn’t say

Nat: oh oh

Giulia: I DON T LIKE IT

Zee: Lots of hands close-ups, I ain’t complaining

Giulia: ah

Giulia: Sam

Nat: Bundles of eggs?

Giulia: Witch hex bags

Giulia: IT’S REALLY NOT

Nat: ah

Zee: Does she really not know ?

Nat: OH, she knows

Giulia: Where is the snac

Zee: should have walked away

Zee: There’s one

Nat: What

Giulia: Ah

Giulia: MY OTHER BABY

Giulia: MURDER BABY

Nat: Wha does Jack want

Giulia: hearts

Zee: But why?

Nat: I'm on a roll

Zee: Sucks you in

Giulia: What he said

Nat: OnE mORe GamE

Giulia: I heard Daddy out of dean’s mouth and im not ok

Zee: I’m dying here

Giulia: NICE

Nat: He's so full of himself

Giulia: KICK MY ASS TOO

Giulia: SO COCKY

Zee: Smack is better

Giulia: NO KICK IT

Nat: oh no

Giulia: AWE

Zee: Rodeo

Giulia: are we spending this whole ep with jazz music and pool

Nat: Sam so proud

Zee: Hell of an ep

Giulia: Stop that tongue

Nat: Apparently not

Nat: OH shit

Nat: He ded

Zee: The crinkles

Zee: I’m dead

Giulia: Dean will be happy

Nat: Dean won't like this. He just involuntarily killed a man

Giulia: Yup

Zee: Great

Nat: shit

Giulia: Yup

Giulia: Awe Sam

Nat: Sam's always so righteous

Giulia: Well he actually doesn’t seem so bummed

Zee: Annoyingly so sometimes

Giulia: Baby treat me right

Giulia: AWE HE GOT IT RIGHT

Nat: No, because he's really set to beat Chuck

Giulia: yeah

Zee: Awe his face

Giulia: SNORT

Nat: Ah Cas showed his badge right?

Giulia: yeah

Nat: Did ya see?

Nat: He was holding it up the wrong way?

Giulia: .

Giulia: PAX

Nat: She's the one who played you, Dean!

Giulia: the fuck he is

Giulia: Dark castiel?

Zee: A what ?

Giulia: With that black trench coat

Zee: I want cas dressed like that

Giulia: He should have had the black trench. In the promo he was

Giulia: Ok but how is Jack alright now

Nat: Billy got work for him

Zee: Hello

Giulia: HEY SNACC

Nat: See. It's her

Giulia: AWE SO YUMMY

Nat: He's bulkier than Dean

Nat: I CAN ALWAYS MAKE MORE SONS

Giulia: Can I be in that sandwich tho

Nat: A beach read?

Zee: Beach read

Giulia: Beach read

Giulia: Wow

Nat: YES YOU ARE BABY

Giulia: AHAHAHAHAHAH

Nat: TOLSTOY

Giulia: TOLSTOY

Nat: Tell her

Giulia: don t touch sam

Giulia: OF COURSE SAM

Zee: Oh come on

Giulia: HEY STOP THAT

Zee: Thanks for the recap

Giulia: so tired of people hurting my innocent baby ok

Nat: Jack's not afraid because he knows that he's gonna come back

Giulia: Completely innocent

Giulia: U like children

Giulia: Yuck

Giulia: Kill him

Nat: YEAH you fucking pedo

Giulia: AAAAAH

Giulia: DAD

Nat: so billy sends Jack out to kill those

Giulia: NICE

Zee: Dad to the rescue

Giulia: I AM NOT PREPARED

Nat: That eyebrow

Zee: We could use some more light

Giulia: SOB

Nat: Sammy you got this

Giulia: He is so worried

Zee: So focused

Nat: Liver failure... and she looks at Dean lol

Giulia: Liver failure

Zee: THE god

Giulia: Little guy

Giulia: Squirrley as hell

Zee: Welcome to the club

Nat: When you apes climbed down from the trees... aw

Giulia: Thanks

Giulia: Oh this is actually interesting tho

Nat: Get her on board and then go against Chuck

Zee: She knows Chuck

Nat: I mean

Giulia: All the gods

Zee: And when you lose

Nat: Dean lol

Giulia: YAS SAM

Zee: Learnt from my brother

Giulia: No stop it

Nat: NO

Giulia: NO

Zee: There’s always a catch

Nat: DON'T

Giulia: STOP

Zee: They will say yes

Giulia: OF COURSE

Nat: WHY DID KNOW THAT SAM WOULD SAY YES

Giulia: AWE SAM

Giulia: not to the Winchesters

Zee: 15 years

Nat: Ok, but now beat her alright

Giulia: SUCH HEROES

Nat: But like, she fucking lives in a pool hall. What are the odds

Giulia: I ‘m sick of this music and pool tho

Nat: Hate it

Nat: NO

Giulia: Of course

Nat: Are they gonna die

Zee: Fuck

Zee: They can’t yet

Giulia: Thanks

Nat: Ah right, still 9 episodes to go

Nat: Our luck will do that on its own

Giulia: Awe

Nat: Wait what

Zee: She let them out

Giulia: Sob

Zee: Our kind

Nat: Awe

Nat: She helps them

Zee: Make him play yours

Giulia: Make him play yours

Zee: Mojo back

Giulia: Awe are they back to normal

Nat: Awe

Zee: Yes

Nat: Good

Giulia: Dean stuffing his mouth with cheese

Nat: Scratcher

Nat: lol

Zee: Porn

Giulia: Sob

Giulia: What was that high note lol

Nat: Back to back double cheese burgers

Nat: Oh oh

Zee: Wait for it

Nat: Oh oh

Giulia: can t wait for jack

Nat: Oh Oh

Nat: OOOHHHHH

Giulia: SOB

Giulia: HEWWO

Nat: AAAAHHHHHH

Zee: So much hurt

Giulia: AAAAAAAAAAAH

Giulia: SAAAAM

Nat: I didn't think I would cry

Giulia: SOB

Giulia: NO

Giulia: STOP DEANP

Giulia: HE LOOKS AT CAS

Zee: Our son is back

Giulia: SOB

Zee: And you let him?

Nat: every day I wanted to come HOME

Giulia: awe Jack bb

Giulia: Grandfather

Nat: He's afraid of me.

Giulia: YES HE IS

Nat: JACK WILL BECOME THE NEW GOD

Giulia: OF COURSE

Giulia: but they just said that there can’t be no god

Zee: So it won’t be the Winchesters?

Nat: It's plausible that Jack will take over.

Nat: He's not God-god. He's Jack-god.

Nat: Ok, so promo then I need to leave

Giulia: UGH

Giulia: if don’t come I’m dead

Giulia: ...same

Giulia: Snort

Giulia: I need Jesus

Nat: What I say

Zee: March 16!

Zee: Hate it

Nat: Sob

Zee: It’s been established

Giulia: I just wish they could change the finale date

Zee: I mean why do they have to drag it like that?

Giulia: There are festivities or some shit idk

Giulia: The superbowl?

Giulia: Whatever

Zee: Oh that shit is on?

Zee: We have a month and a half to find a solution

Nat: There. He showed it the wrong way first?

Zee: Yeah he did

Zee: Lovely dork

Giulia: Ah shit I was writing here and look after he turned it around

Zee: Me too

Nat: Yes hi hello, this is Pax the Snaxx

Zee: Yes hi hello

Giulia: Fuck

Zee: I didn’t ask for this

Nat: Apparently, I don't care

Zee: Apparently you’re a bitch

Nat: Apparently, he's not been always a snaxx

Nat: Because

Nat: snorts

Giulia: Aaaaand it’s gone

Giulia: I love beards, my god

Zee: So fucking vanilla

Giulia: I can’t taste anything

Giulia: This tho?

....the flavour is amazing

Giulia: Yum

Zee: I can’t complain about this flavor either

Zee: Nat started chaos and now she’s sitting somewhere laughing like the evil bitch she is

Nat: No, like I've seen other pics of him and I will spare it for you. But like in the ep he's a damn fucking main course

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20 @ravenhg @evvvissticante @emoryhemsworth @markofdean79 @janndishsstuff

#spn commentary 11 #Episode commentary #SUPERNATURAL COMMENTARY #spn commentary #supernatural 15x11 #spn 15x11 #15x11 the gamblers

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tysonrunningfox · 5 years ago

Text

Open Flames: Chapter 20

Also known as...the epilogue

Ao3

If I asked Fuse what her favorite part of our honeymonth was, I’d guess it was when I told my mom to ‘go away’ a little less than charitably because she thought she could interrupt our second day of wedded bliss to ask some question about some random thing that Acting Chief Hiccup could obviously handle. If Fuse asked me the same question, I’d probably say what happened immediately after I told my mom to ‘go away’, because that was a memorable way to accidentally knock the weapons rack off of the wall and then realize no one could yell at us because it is our wall.

If this hypothetical conversation happened in the first few days after the wedding, in that wave of the novelty of true, uninterruptible privacy that momentarily made Fuse do her best and mostly succeed to forget that she was pretty miserably pregnant, my answer would have garnered an enthusiastic response. Any other time in the last month she probably would have rolled her eyes and asked me to rub her feet.

Which I would have done. Happily. Without question.

As always, I’d do anything to make Fuse safer or better.

But this morning, when she assured me that burning Snoggletog breakfast didn’t make her sick while her hands curled into white-knuckled balls of pain at her side, there was nothing I could do. She told me to get the midwife with the same even voice she uses to guide shaky hands into building bombs, and I did it, moving mechanically like she always wants me to around explosives.

All day, for the first time, I haven’t been able to stop what’s hurting her. My axe hanging useless on the crooked weapons rack, fists clenched against the urge to try and take control of the uncontrollable.

“Does he need to wait outside?” The midwife asks, yanking me out of my panic, and Fuse – Fuse, who I put into this situation – has the gall to look worried about me for a mortifying second. “If he forgot how to move, I can get Arvid to drag him out by his toes.”

Not a good look for a Chief. Or a man.

Or a dad.

“Fuck,” I swear at the situation. At the house. At myself. At the obligation to compose my face, to be a Chief, to be there for Fuse even when I want to apologize over and over every time I see the contents of one of those medical buckets. “I’m good. I’m good.”

And then Fuse is breaking my hand and the midwife is encouraging her and then silence. The worst thing I’ve ever heard.

It stretches. Seconds. Years. Eons.

My useless axe couldn’t cut the tension.

My knees shake.

Then there’s a cry.

A baby’s cry.

A shrill, instantly recognizable cry that makes me want to get that axe and face outwards from the doorway, but I can’t, because the baby is wrapped in a blanket and shoved hastily in my arms while the midwife works.

“It’s a girl,” she says, offhand, like it’s not the most important thing she’ll ever say.

And the silence in my head is the loudest, longest, beat of my life, looking down at that red little face.

The baby’s furious. Beyond pissed.

I get it.

Hel, I just spent a month with nothing but Fuse and after being forced into the world I feel like sobbing. And I have distractions.

There’s something Fuse-like in the twist of the little girl’s anger. Something righteous and unhinged and the weight of my two Fuse’s slams into my chest like a battering ram.

I don’t remember sagging down against the wall, bundle in my arms. I don’t remember crying. I just know I have to wipe tears from my eyes when I hear the second cry, this one higher pitched as a wriggling, arching little thing is wrapped in another blanket.

“Another girl,” the midwife says, holding the screaming bundle in my direction.

“You mean,” I jump upright as carefully as I can, still supporting myself on the wall, scared to take even a hand off of the bundle in my arms, “both? I—”

“You’re going to have to get used to having your hands full,” she adjusts my arms with brusque, bloody hands and sets the second baby in them.

In theory, she pats my shoulder in a matronly way. I theoretically feel it and nod like her words made some kind of sense. In practice, I float, lost in two tiny, indignant faces I almost recognize.

Here they are.

After all that, here they are.

“Hand me the older one,” the midwife prompts and I reflexively shake my head, holding both bundles closer to my chest. Her eyes are irritated but kind as she raises an eyebrow, “she needs to eat. Unless you were intending to feed her.”

“I’ll feed her,” I insist mindlessly. “How—I mean, how do I feed her?”

“By handing her to your wife, Chief.” The midwife says the title like a mild admonishment, and I flush.

“Right. I knew that. I know that.” I reluctantly allow her to take the older twin, clutching the younger one to my chest as I appear by the bed, my feet insubstantial against the floor as I allow myself to take in the scene.

Fuse. Obviously exhausted, pink hair stuck to her face, head back against a pile of pillows. A baby in her arms, expression placid and overwhelmed as she listens to the midwife and tries to position the squirming bundle against her chest.

I clear my throat. She glances at me and there’s all that understanding, all that coping, all that resilience that’s always left behind after the blast. It’s all familiar, all such a relief that I can barely breathe as I sit on the edge of the bed before my quaking knees dump me on my ass.

The older twin goes to sleep after she eats, a squishy little bundle with red-brown hair tucked under Fuse’s arm as I reluctantly hand over the younger girl, her hair just starting to show blonde where it’s brushed clean on the blanket. I was hoping for pink, but she has Fuse’s nose and I don’t remember the last time I was this lost for words.

Probably when I was our babies’ age and didn’t know any words.

Gods, they don’t know any words. I have to teach them everything and keep them safe and I cradle my head in my hands, trying not to dwell on how easy it’s going to be to mess up.

“I’m going to let you two get settled while I go tell your families,” the midwife starts picking up her supplies and I sit upright.

“You’re leaving?” I fumble for the words, “does that—what if—it’s over?” I look at Fuse, all three of my Fuses, impossibly safe and tired and terrifying, because of how much they need me. Because all that’s left in me is how much I need them.

“Unless you think there’s a third.” The midwife raises that eyebrow at me, and I get the feeling she’s thinking about moving to some other island with a chief who makes sense. “I’ll be back.”

“You’re alright.” I let myself say it once the heavy front door is shut and we’re alone, let the relief bleed around it, let my hand shake now that I can’t drop anything.

“That’s one word for it,” Fuse mutters under her breath, but my expression makes her pause and she sighs, shifting a bit uncomfortably, “I will be. Just…a long day.”

“Why?” I snort even though I don’t think it’s explicitly a joke, scooting a little closer and barely biting back a sigh of relief when she lifts her head for me to slip my arm behind it, like she doesn’t hate me even after what I just put her through. “Been busy?”

“A little bit.” She glares at me, eyes blue fire, and that’s the same too, like I really managed not to lose any of her in the multiplication.

“I’ll trade you for the next one,” I glance between the two babies, still more than a little in awe of how persistently they’re existing here, “I can do the hard part while you freak out and the midwife makes fun of you.”

“Next one?” She huffs, intact eyebrow raised.

“I was operating under the impression that the grumpiness was supposed to end when you weren’t pregnant anymore,” I joke, kissing her forehead, happy pang in my stomach when that little blonde head nestles against my chest.

“To be fair, I said I’d be grumpy as long as I couldn’t see my toes,” she leans back against my arm a little harder, circles under her eyes prominent as the other baby fusses, less furious than before, little hand fisting in the blanket.

I glance at Fuse’s foot peeking out from the blankets and laugh, “and you haven’t looked yet?”

“I don’t intend to.” She almost laughs, breathy and exhausted as she leans a little harder into my side. The older twin fusses again, bordering on a cry. “Can you take her?” She asks, a little unsure of herself, holding the little blonde bundle like some rare and exciting mineral she hasn’t worked with before, but believes will combust especially impressively.

“Sure. Yeah.” I nod, apologizing at least a dozen times under my breath throughout the clumsy shuffle as Fuse adjusts the blankets and picks up the older baby, steady hand gentle against the back of her neck.

My hands feel too big, too rough, ill-equipped and shaky as my thumb brushes a blonde curl away from a tiny furrowed eyebrow. Fuse’s eyebrow as if it had never been burned, focused on something no one else can see.

“Gods, she looks like you,” Fuse mumbles, looking down at the older twin in her arms, temple on my chest.

“Are you kidding me?” I kiss the top of her head, “did you hear her screaming? All you.”

“This is your morning face,” she insists, “exactly.”

I look down at the babies, the older one’s grumpy face and the younger one’s blonde curls, seeing Fuse in every twitch of tiny fingers.

“We have to name them,” I say a bit slowly, awkwardly, trying not to show how nervous I’ve been for this part. It’s obvious that Fuse picks up on it anyway because she kisses my shirt and sighs, settling in for a conversation she’s obviously too tired to want to have. “I can’t keep referring to them as ‘older’ and ‘younger’ in my head.”

“One and two?” She offers and I shake my head.

“Of course, when I have my first opportunity to mess a kid up for life, I double down.” I can’t imagine shoving some of my own generational baggage down onto either of the nameless girls’ beautiful, wrinkled faces. I’m not going to lie, I feel like I’ve gotten off the hook a little bit because Eret IV, Hiccup IV, and Stoick III are all out of the running just due to gender.

“Sounds like you,” Fuse wakes up enough to mull the problem over properly, “they don’t look like Nuts to me.”

“Do twins names have to go together? Like a set?” I love how our house feels like an extension of my mind, like anything I think, I can say out loud and it’ll find purchase, not judgement. “Thunder and Drum. Or rhyme? Inga and Helga.” Nothing sounds right, and Fuse agrees from the way she shifts, silence heavy, shoulder digging into my ribs. “Purchase,” I gesture to the baby in her arms, “and Free Gift The Merchant Threw In For A Loyal Customer.”

“That’s a little wordy.”

“Maybe we should work off your name?” I don’t bring up mine and she doesn’t either and I love her so much I don’t know where to put it all. I’m glad for the girls to collect the love that feels like it’s spilling over. “Fuse, Grenade, and Aftershock. Casing and Powder. Blast and Shrapnel.”

She snorts half a tired laugh before sitting up a little straighter, “wait, Shrapnel.”

“I was kidding.”

“I’m not,” she tickles a chubby foot that has escaped the blanket bundle on my lap, “she is the second wave of destruction after the explosion.”

“Fuse and Shrapnel.” I mull it over and nod, “I like it. Halfway done.”

“The easy half,” she bounces the little girl in her arms.

“Just because Shrapnel is a side effect of an explosion doesn’t mean she’s not destructive,” I chide gently, that heavy bond in my chest deepening when I look at the baby on my lap and tie a name to her.

“No, I—whatever we choose has to sound good with Chief in front of it.”

“Oh.” I swallow, “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“The future Chief of Berk,” Fuse says quietly, messing with chubby fingers until the baby girl’s face furrows.

I want to deflect. To say something stupid about how Shrapnel could stage a coup at any time. I want to tell Fuse that she doesn’t have to worry about that now, just how I want to tell her that she doesn’t have to worry about the mantle of Chief’s wife.

But she’s right. And as much as I hate needing it, especially now, her support makes the hazy future feel possible.

How much can I really mess up this dad thing if Fuse is helping me?

“So, it’s got to be easy to pronounce,” I swallow hard, “you know how Christians have problems with Viking names.”

“And it has to be strong. If she looks like you this much already, of course she’s going to be strong.”

I don’t see any of my scrawny, freckled mess in the baby’s perfect little face, but it’s not the time to argue.

“I hope she’s smarter than me,” I rest my cheek on Fuse’s head, “a little quicker on the uptake, maybe. Some of your common sense couldn’t hurt.”

“So, something with some strength, some wisdom.” A smile leaks into her voice, the kind of sly smile that usually only follows billowing smoke and destruction, “something that looks good in an Edda claiming victory over an enemy.”

“There are a few Sigrids in my family tree,” I offer, “victorious, wise, easy for Christians to pronounce as they run away screaming.”

“Sigrid Haddock, Heir to the throne of Berk,” Fuse whispers like she’s scared to say it louder, like I’m not the only one who feels like I’m going to wake up to some other, worse reality. “How do we make it official?”

“I think I just tell Rolf to write it down,” I kiss her ear, the top of her head, trying to communicate how amazing she is and knowing I’ll never quite get there, “one of the perks of being Chief.”

Fuse hums in agreement, half asleep, and I’m settling in for a shift as her dedicated pillow when the front door swings open and the midwife steps inside, asking how Fuse is doing and leading a small group of people along with her.

Tuffnut is first, holding a stuffed Zippleback toy half his size with a white knuckled grip and a worried expression that I recognize as similar to my own before I realized that Fuse was ok. My mom is white faced but excited, eyes widening when she sees the baby on my lap. My dad is with her, also searching for the babies, counting really, like he also doesn’t trust the good news until he catalogs everyone.

Hiccup trails behind a little bit, as unsure if he’s invited as his name is in my head, and I kiss the top of Fuse’s head as I wiggle my arm out from behind her, standing slowly, carefully, Shrapnel’s tiny body more precious and fragile than anything I’ve ever held.

“Can you shut the door?” I ask when the Snoggletog wind whips through the room, trying not to panic when the gust of cold makes Shrapnel’s face screw up as she lets out a single, indignant cry. “It’s ok,” I bounce her like I’ve seen Rolf do, but it doesn’t seem to cheer her up any, “your grandpa is shutting the door.”

“On it,” he says too quickly, and if I weren’t so busy trying to prevent my baby from crying, I’d comment on how Hiccup sounds like he’s about to join in.

“Two healthy baby girls,” the midwife assures as the door clicks shut and my dad tosses a log on the fire without me having to ask, “one healthy mom.”

Mom.

Fuse is a mom.

It’s the first time I’ve heard it and I look up at her, again searching for some sort of change, something that’s getting away from me. But she’s still Fuse, thanking her dad for the Zippleback and rolling her eyes when he ruffles her hair.

“One overwhelmed new dad,” Hiccup jokes and I nod, willingly admitting to that much.

Dad.

I’m a dad. It’s different when people say it out loud.

“Do you want to hold her?” I ask, glancing at Fuse to double check that it’s ok, but she’s already handed off Sigrid to her dad, who’s cooing enthusiastically over her and saying something about the chaos she’ll cause.

“Y—Absolutely,” Hiccup nods and I carefully rest my daughter—I have a daughter. I have two daughters—in his arms.

“Hold her head.”

“Of course,” he says, humoring me, even as Mom steps up beside him and gives me a fond, exasperated smile.

“He has held a baby before.”

“You haven’t been a dad before,” he tells her gently, voice low as he rocks Shrapnel, “he’s got to be protective, he can’t help it.”

“She’s beautiful.” When Mom looks between her husband and me, there’s a ghost of that old ‘what if’ I used to hate on his face, but now it just makes me think about what it would have felt like not to be able to hold my baby the second they came into the world. “Older or younger?”

“Younger,” I nod, “by all of a few minutes, so I don’t know how much it matters but…��

“It’ll matter to them,” my dad points out, very carefully taking Sigrid from Tuffnut and smiling at her.

“Ruffnut never forgave me for beating her on the way out,” Tuffnut shakes his head, “you’ve got a long life of guilt trips ahead of you, little miss.” He frowns, “assuming this one is the girl twin.”

“They’re both girls,” I correct him, risking the few steps of distance from my parents to stand next to Fuse, hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah, but which one’s the boy?” He asks and Fuse sighs, exhausted.

“Dad, there’s no boy.”

“But they’re twins.” Tuffnut looks around the room confused and for the first time today, the midwife is looking at someone other than me like they’re the dumbest person on Midgard.

“Twins who are both girls,” Hiccup cradles the head, like I asked, as he hands Shrapnel carefully to my mom.

“Yeah, but which one’s the boy?”

“Neither,” I say, the room feeling a little smaller than it did a few minutes ago. A little more cramped. “Because they’re both girls.”

“No, really,” he laughs, “which one’s the boy?”

I look down at Fuse, her pale face barely sustaining her irritated expression, and sometimes, the Chief mantle isn’t as heavy as I feared it would be.

“Ok, everybody out,” I clap my hands together before reaching out towards my dad, “baby please.”

“I’m just asking—”

“Tuffnut,” I nudge my chin towards the door as I accept Sigrid, “get out of my house.”

“Mom needs her rest,” the midwife is finally my ally, helping me herd the extra family towards the door.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” My mom asks, hesitant to hand Shrapnel over.

“I’m good,” I insist, feeling overwhelmed but symmetrical when she sets the baby in my free arm.

“Come on,” Hiccup takes her hand and tugs, and I don’t know what to do with how easy it is for him to be on my side right now, but I’m glad for it, “let’s get back to the feast, I have a lot to brag about.”

“If you’re sure—”

“He’s sure,” Dad helps move her towards the door and then we’re alone again. The four of us.

My family within the family.

Fuse yawns, scooting down in bed a bit with a wince that makes my chest hurt.

“Get some rest,” I look down at the babies in my arms, both of their eyes closed, their barely there weight soothing. “I’ve got this for a while.”

“You could put them down and come rest with me,” she offers, already comfortable in the center of the bed and I smile.

“Maybe later,” I shrug, barely, my always moving hands finally forced still like Fuse is always trying to do. “I’ve got a lot to tell these girls, might as well get started.”

“They need to sleep too,” she says like she feels like she has to, but she’s looking at me with a soft, hazy expression I can’t possibly deserve before she yawns again.

“I’m not stopping them.” I adjust my grip and Sigrid’s little hand escapes the blanket, fingers curling reflexively against my shirt. “They like my voice, remember?”

“I love you,” she says, quiet and sleepy, tugging the blankets further around her shoulders.

“Love you too.” I’m not sure if she hears me, because her light snores start almost immediately, chest rising and falling evenly under the covers.

I walk to the small front window, mostly to check on the snow, but the torchlight in the village catches my eye. My village.

I look down at my daughters. Our village.

“This is Berk,” I whisper, swallowing hard and watching the fluffy snow drift towards the ground, casting shadows across my babies’ faces when it passes in front of the moon. “Our home for eight—well, nine generations. It snows so much that the only way you can really tell that it’s winter is when you haven’t seen the sun for the better part of a month. The food is…mostly mutton, I’m not going to lie to you. Lots of mutton now that we have fewer dragons than ever, but that’s alright, the ones sticking around are family.”

I’m unsure what to do with the feeling that this day, this conversation, this moment is the first of many, not part of a countdown, but I’m glad for the change.

#eret iii #festerverse #that's all folks #open flames #sigrid and shrapnel haddock #are my life

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xmasqoo-haineke · 4 years ago

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Article Author: Fr. Dwight Longenecker (Priest, Author, and Speaker): “Why should he be a curmudgeon? Because by the time he has reached a certain age he should also have attained a certain level of wisdom and knowledge which will cause him to understand with increasing clarity how stupid, vain, shallow, lustful, greedy and idiotic most of this world and the people in it actually are.

For those of you who are Bible lovers, go to the venerable Book of Ecclesiastes for your proof text:

Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. 3 What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? 4 A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. 5 The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. 6 The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. 7 All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. 8 All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.

And so the curmudgeon greets the world, and at this time of year he may be accused of being a Scrooge.

Long live Scrooge, saith the preacher, and spare me the saccharine sentimentality of Tiny Tim with his ukulele.

“Ah, but Scrooge was converted!” but what was he converted to? A gospel that consists of bringing an extra goose to the table?

Doing good is not the same thing as being good, and the Catholic curmudgeon might well say about Scrooge’s jumping ship and going over to the do gooders, “Bah Humbug!”

“Oh Fahhhther!” I can hear the prissy self righteous exclaim, “Why are you against the corporal works of mercy!??!”

I’m not you silly sentimentalist. I’m all for them, but one of the problems these days is that too many nice Christians mistake the corporal works of mercy for mercy itself.

The works of mercy are the result of having received mercy first. In other words, I bring a goose to the table of Bob Cratchit because I’ve realized what a goose I’ve become, repented and been converted inside out. I’ve had all the stuffing knocked out of me. That’s why its in the goose.”

That may well have happened, and I can’t tell the state of anyone else’s heart so I will say “Well done”. If they do good with a goose, then good for them. Who am I to judge?

I can still grumble because that’s what curmudgeons do.

But this was about how to be a joyful curmudgeon. The fact of the matter is, when you scratch most curmudgeons you find a joyful person underneath. Its just that they’re not prone to pasting on a smile and doing the small talk.

The Christian and the Christmas curmudgeon is joyful but it’s way down deep–as joy should be. Joy does not consist of an artificial smile. That’s plastic Barbie and Ken stuff.

Joy is the water at the bottom of a deep well.

To be sure there are cynical curmudgeons who have no joy…only despair.

But the Christian curmudgeon is a joyful curmudgeon because beneath the grumpy exterior is faith, hope and love…and usually a few good jokes.

After all, he’s only being grumpy because he really believes the world ought to be a better place and that people should be better than they are.

He’s disappointed with the shabby, scabby, shoddy behavior and expects better. That’s hope. He thinks this sad, tired, vain and silly world should (and will be) redeemed, and that’s faith. He actually wants what is best for the other person–and that’s love.

And if he’s disappointed with the way things are, there’s one person who disappoints him more than any other:

Himself.

December 20th, 2017|Categories:

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Frederick Snyder December 20, 2017 at 3:27 pmLog in to Reply

“And if he’s disappointed with the way things are, there’s one person who disappoints him more than any other: Himself.”

We’ve never met, but you know me well, Father.

Knowing what is right is much easier than doing right daily. Explaining the need to learn and do right in ways others will accept seems harder yet.

Many old folks, I’m 73, complain about the way things are and yet know secretly we ourselves could do better with each day. Logs are more attractive to us than splinters. But splinters irritate my eye. _________ Don’t know where to post this:

MERRY CHRISTMAS, FATHER ! THANK YOU FOR THE CONSTANT GIFT OF INSIGHT. MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU, YOUR FAMILY, AND THOSE CLOSE TO YOU.

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icannotreadcursive · 5 years ago

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Avengers PSAs: On the COVID-19 Pandemic 3: Don’t Panic

Natasha and Bucky stood side by side in front of neatly organized shelves, him with one arm around her, his other sleeve empty, both of them dressed in athleasure clothes.

“Hey, I'm Natasha Romanoff—”

“—and I'm James Buchanan Barnes—”

“—and we're coming to you from the Avengers's pantry,” Natasha continued, gesturing behind them, “to talk to you about panic buying and resource hoarding. First though, since people are bound to ask—Buck, where's your arm?”

“In an autoclave,” Bucky said flatly, “being sterilized.”

Natasha wagged an admonishing finger at the camera. “No excuses for not practicing good hand hygiene.”

“No excuses,” Bucky agreed. “You know what else there's no excuse for?”

“Panic buying and hoarding?” Natasha guessed with a knowing half smirk.

“Yup.”

She nodded slowly and took a half step away from him. “You don't think that's a little harsh? People aren't being malicious, they're just scared.”

“Nope.” Bucky crossed his arm over his chest, gabbing onto the opposite shoulder for lack of an elbow to tuck his hand into. “I'm playing the grumpy old man card here—I lived through World War Two and all the rationing that went along with it. I don't take kindly to people taking more than their fair share. And compared to Steve, I'm being extremely reasonable and calm about this.”

“That's true, actually.” Natasha glanced at the camera. “Steve wanted to do this PSA, but he's not very good at keeping his righteous anger over unfairness in check. So you get us.” She put a hand to her chin cutely.

“Mhm.”

“So let's talk about what panic buying is,” Natasha continued.

“As the name suggests,” Bucky said, “it's people buying things out of panic or fear—especially buying in bulk.”

“Despite Bucky and Steve's lack of patience with it,” Natasha said with a sidelong glance at her partner, “this is a natural and understandable reaction to certain kinds of crises, and it's quite common. The classic example, which at this point is also a joke, is Southerners buying all the bread and milk they can find anytime snow is predicted below the Mason Dixon Line.”

Bucky picked up the thread. “People usually panic buy in response to things like snow storms or hurricanes—major events that you can see coming long enough to know to prepare, and that you know are going to limit your ability to go out and get supplies.”

“The basic impulse is good,” Natasha conceded. “Stock up beforehand to make sure you have enough of the things you need in order to weather the storm—or, in this case, to weather the pandemic and its associated shutdowns.”

“The problem,” Bucky continued, “is that too many people are buying more than they actually need, and they're buying the wrong things. Most obviously, toilet paper.”

“When people panic buy, they leave the shelves empty,” Natasha explained. “This then creates a sense of scarcity that scares other people into panic buying the same items, causing actual scarcity, preventing people from being able to access the reasonable amounts of basic supplies that they do need.”

“We don't know how long we'll have to practice social distancing,” Bucky said. “In areas with stay at home orders, we don't know how long those may last, and we don't know for sure where new stay at home orders are going to be implemented, but that one, at least, we can predict pretty well.”

“If your city or town has known cases of COVID-19, especially if you're a college town….” Natasha shrugged.

“Expect to be holed up at home for a while,” Bucky concluded. “And it's important to prepare for that.”

“You're not doomsday prepping, though,” Natasha admonished. “You don't need a year or five's worth of anything.”

Bucky nodded. “Take it a month at a time. Think about how many people are in your household and how much you actually consume of various supplies in a month. We have an entire shelf full of pasta here.” He gestured at the shelf behind him, which housed easily two dozen boxes of noodles. “There's roughly twenty people living here. We always use more than a household of three or four. A household of three or four use more than somebody living alone. Buy a little bit more than you otherwise might for the same amount of time, but not much. Remember there are people besides you in your community and leave some for your neighbors. Also think about what you already have at home. Have you had the same bottle of dish soap sitting next to your sink for the better part of a year? Then you probably aren't going to need more. If it's almost empty, go ahead and get one bottle to replace it.”

“Some things, it is reasonable and necessary to buy extra of right now,” Natasha allowed. “A lot of people are having to cook at home a lot more than you usually do, and you're having to do your grocery shopping for a whole month, maybe longer, instead of just for the next week, so you do have to buy more food. Clint's going to do a video on buying, storing, and preparing food smartly during the pandemic, so we're not going to go into that now.”

“You might actually need more of things like toilet paper,” Bucky said, “because you're at home, instead of at work or school using the toilet paper there. That's still not going to be a huge increase in usage. COVID-19 is a respiratory ailment, not dysentery.”

Natasha bit back a laugh.

Bucky continued. “Other things, you might use less of. If you're anything like us here at the compound, you're probably hanging out in the same loungewear or pajamas for a couple days at a time, maybe showering less than you do when you actually leave the house most days, which means you're using fewer towels. In that case, you're doing less laundry, so you're using less detergent.”

Natasha clapped her hands together. “Now, if you, or your friend Karen the Facebook mom, or your mom did freak out and went and bought twenty jumbo bottles of Germ-X or more toilet paper than your household is liable to use by Christmas, that's okay. You, your mom, and Karen aren't horrible people. Keep enough to realistically get you through a couple months—for toilet paper in particular, that's roughly one role per person per week for most people—then return the excess to the store if you can. Otherwise donate it, give it to your friends and neighbors who don't have enough, or if you're really worried about recouping some of what you spent panic buying, resell it. But expect to resell it at a loss.”

“Don't even try to make more than you spent,” Bucky warned. “Price gouging is illegal, and punishments increase during emergencies. Some areas have laws against private individuals making money off of selling emergency supplies, so look into your local laws before trying that at all. If you're not sure, just donate. If you decide to be a greedy jerk, well, Steve's been threatening to throw on a hazmat suit and go deal with some price gougers himself, and I'm inclined to help him, even if leaving the compound means losing my arm to the autoclave for an hour again.”

“Take a breath. Take a step back,” Natasha commanded gently. “Take stock of what you need and what you have. Be realistic and be smart. Stock up and be prepared, but don't panic and don't hoard.”

“We're all facing this together,” Bucky said. “We can all get what we need, but only if we all take only as much as we need.”

“Stand by for Clint's advice on what food to stock up on and how to use it,” Natasha said brightly. “Thank you and goodbye.”

She waved. Bucky stepped forward to cover the camera with his hand—the video went black.

#Avengers #PSA #Marvel #covid19 #covid-19 #covid_19 #natasha romanoff #Black Widow #Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #Winter Soldier #panic buying #public health #stay calm

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