#I’m fucking overheating jfc.

[ask-the-rabbit-totally-not-habit]

( art by @/evilnarc on here i believe. )

Pretty much how the FUCK i feel after going to the store for several hours only 2-3 hours AFTER waking up.

I’m in pain; For once in my several life.

I feel like an overheating RABBIT— I mean, i AM an overheating RABBIT. I severely need to cool off my ears tf

[audsthoughts]

OOOOO....this is gonna be fun!! For context, I've read all SJM books so my answers might contain spoilers...read at your own risk! I also have strong opinions that many of y’all may not like, I don’t care. It’s fandom, it’s fun, it’s my loves. So if my opinion makes you irate, we don’t need to be book friends anyways 👍🏻💕

1. This is hard...but I gotta go with Queen of Shadows. I fly through that mf every time I re read the series.

2. Throne of glass, it's ELITE

3. Lawd......okay. Aelin is #1 always! I love how badass she is, how much she goes through, grows, and changes, etc. Also even though her independence annoys her team, the way her brain works is mf WILD. Also SJM was scared of what she could do at MAX, GIVE HER HER POWERS BACK!

4. So many, but I got two quotes tattooed on my body so I'm gonna list those. "To whatever end." "Through love, all is possible."

5. Rowaelin and Nestaq (they are so underrated)

6. Gwynriel. Elriel truly makes me want to VOMIT PROFUSELY. I just can't deal with a ship that would be sooo boringly predictable; also those two are not compatible at all in the way other SJM mates/ships are, it would be a disservice to BOTH of them.

7. Kaltain and Emrys, Malakai, and the other dorky kid that are with Aelin in HoF

8. Danika, that bitch had too many secrets jfc. Also the Pack of Devils in general.

9. I don't like Elain right now, she annoys tf out of me, and pissed me off so much in ACOSF with how she treated Nesta; but I know once her book comes out I will be obsessed with her. I don’t mind her softness, I think SJM does such a good job with her soft & strong characters (Yrene, Elide, etc.) I just need that hoe to get a backbone and find herself, bc she is LOST. Not her fault, they had a traumatizing asf childhood, I’m just ready for her growth. I also don't really like Amren, she irks me. Mostly now after ACOWAR; she should've sacrificed herself and died in my opinion, it would've been more impactful. Tharion is also close, but he redeemed himself halfway through book 3, mans is just dumb as HELL.

10. Cassian

11. Dusk court or Night Court

12. I hate all of those mfs; but based on badassness and audacity? Maeve

13. JFC there's so much I would change, Aelin and Nesta should've kept their powers, Feyre didn't need to be pregnant yet, Aelin and Nox should've had a reunion, and I go on. But the main thing I want to change? Lehabah didn't need to die, BRING HER BACK YOU ASSHOLE

14. I don't follow any of the fandom theories bc y'all are wild and so off base most of the time, it's too much 😂😂 though I love the creativity. But I love the CC world that opens up how the universe's are connected, like Lidia and Aelin being related through Brannon and Mala

15. Nesta

16. Overhated? Nesta, y'all are fucking ridiculous about her jfc. You don’t have to like her, bc we all have characters we don’t like for whatever reason, but if you still hate her with your entire soul? you need to grow tf up and touch some grass I am sooo serious 🤣

17. Aelin all day every day

18. Aelin, Nesta, Ruhn

19. I'm not even going to attempt this one

20. @charincharge, @sydneymack, @acourtofheadcanonsandfanfic-blog, and many more that I can't list off the top of my head

21. I have so many saved on archive of our own: queenzoftherealm; on tumblr some of my favorite writers: @morganofthewildfire, @whimsicallyreading, @rhysismydaddy, @acciowests, @darling-cas, @wingsofanillyrian, @feysand-is-life, @thewraithsofmorhogg, & @charincharge again!

Anybody I tagged for awesome blogs/writing I'm passing on the challenge to you & anyone else that would like to do it! Also @unoriginalunethicalslut

Thanks for the tag!!!🥰🥰

SJM ask game

1) What’s your favourite SJM book?

2) Which is your favourite series (tog, acotar or cc)

3) Who is your favourite character? (And why?)

4) Do you have a favourite quote from one of the books?

5) Favourite ship?

6) Elriel or Gwynriel? Or neither?

7) Who’s the most underrated SJM character?

8) Which character do you wish to learn more about?

9) Are there any characters you don’t like?

10) Favourite bat boy?

11) Favourite court?/ Which one would you most like to live in?

12) Favourite SJM villain?

13) If you could change one thing in any of the books what would it be?

14) Favourite SJM theory?

15) Favourite Archeron sister?

16) A character you feel is over-hated/ underrated

17) Aelin, Bryce, or Feyre?

18) What’s your favourite character from each series?

19) If you wrote an acotar book what would you call it?

20) Who is your favourite acotar blogger?

21)What fics would you recommend to people who love the series?

Questions for writers

22) Easiest character to write for?

23) Hardest character to write for?

24) What’s a character you’d like to write for but haven’t yet?

25) What’s a court you’d like to write about more?

26) What’s a character you won’t write for and why?

27) If you could only write for one character ever again, who would you pick?

28) Whats your favourite trope to write about when it comes to Azriel?

29) What do you think is the best/favourite acotar fic you’ve written?

30) Who are your favourite friendships to write about?

31) For first time readers to your blog, which three fics would you recommend they read?

[lightspren]

so i can definitely tell I spent two hours outside yesterday ☠️

[cinnamonbunsenburner]

Love of a Billion Stars *Oikawa Tooru x reader Soulmate au*

- When you’ve heard of the concept of soulmates at school you were 8, you practically glowed with delight thinking that you probably have one of your own. Probably also thinking that it was ‘very easy’ to ‘feel’ if your soulmate was nearby.

- Lmao you believed that there was some sorta radar of something, or a bell that will go off if your soulmate moved

- *they’re not a dog y/n-chan wtf*

- But boy were you wrong 

- Then came your 16th birthday, the day you were supposed to have your mark that will give you a glimpse of what your soulmate likes in general. And on your 17th birthday, had you still not have found them, another mark will appear on your dominant hand

- You were imagining their symbol to be some sort of representation of who they are as a person, their inspirations in life, their dream career, and all that motivational shit

- To your surprise and demise, you were let down. Not really.. but the mark was very general and vague, and was NOT a symbol/ mark that will motivate you in moving through this life

- bread.

- fucking bread.

- what the fuck. 

- How in the world did you have to pair up your soul with someone who’s life inspiration was fucking bread

- What, did you need to go to France or shit to scavenge hunt your soulmate?

- ....

- no, y/n, you are not gonna think that that’s a good idea.

- no.

- Anyways

- Needless to say, you were quite irritated because how could you find someone that likes bread when literally everyone can like bread?! It’s very vague and looking for a person that has their life encompassed by a singular type of bread *milk bread to be exact* is very difficult considering that almost everyone likes that bread

- Fast forward to the time of your 17th birthday, you woke up with a dash of hope that maybe, JUST MAYBE, this soulmate of yours loves something else that’s more specific than a freaking piece of delicious milk bread.

- Alas you were surprised that this milk bread s/o of yours has their life revolved around volleyball!

- YEY they’re not completely as weird as you’d think they’d be lmao

- But, who were you to judge when you don’t even know what your mark was on them

- Maybe it was weirder than a piece of food

- Maybe it was a cow or dog or a fish 

- *very weird y/n, very weird indeed*

- The next day was a school day and you woke up bright and early, eager to hunt for your soulmate 

- You’re a third year at Seijoh and were quite popular because people thought your mark was  ‘intriguing’ *pfft* 

- anddddd because you’re gorgeous as heck ;]]

- Admirers flocked you, thinking that they might be your soulmate 

- They showed you their mark that was also some kind of pastry and that you guys paired ‘cause they also liked the pastry that was on the pack of your hand

- *you have like a line of milk bread bois at your disposal and it was kind of annoying so you give a different excuse every single time they try to confess to you. Such a player, y/n-chan*

- “l/n-san! I’ve heard that your mark was milk bread and I love that! Look, I have your *insert your favourite pastry* as my mark”

- *you were surprised because it was the first time that someone actually came up to you with your favourite pastry. But you were NOT feeling this dude. 

- C’mon, where’s the zing you were expecting and- and the slow motion eye contact-- thE ROMANCE?! Honestly, you were about to say yes ya’ll were soulmates BUT the gut feeling says that this was not it

- “Uh, sorry.. I’m lactose intolerant”

- *nice excuse y/n-chan, v v convincing*

- Then you just skrrt skrrt away ‘cause you may have a fan base but you were NOT gonna comfort that guy who’s borderline looking that he was gonna cry- nope; in the middle of the hallway, of all places. Gee, theatre boys are different

- In the back of your mind, you thought that the theatre dude was just acting that out in hopes of guilt tripping you. 

- trust issues, m8, trust issues are present because of these thoughts acCKK

- You sighed to yourself and went spy ninja sneak sneak towards the Aoba Johsai VBC, hoping that someone there might be your soulmate

- ‘cause you were v v tired of the self-proclaimed milk bread bois that was your fan club 

- But, you didn’t expect much once you were at the gym because there’s literally thousands of people in the vbc industry that might potentially like milk bread 

- You were thinking of maybe going out of town to hunt for your soulmate but you thought that you were probably gonna get strangled by your parents at how much money you were going to spend for finding a person

- *yes, you were getting desperate because you wanna FINALLY stop at being a third wheel when your friends were with their s/o*

- and maybe because you just want to hog someone else’s sweater and clothes and to do the premarital hand-holding oop

- ...

- You peeked inside the gym doors and was startled when this guy’s serve slammed to their opponent’s court 

- You’ve watched a couple volleyball matches when the second mark appeared to learn your soulmate’s passion. Awee

- And you just know that that killer serve could knock you out

- It was as if the universe was playing some sort of joke to you that his next serve landed out of bounds and rebounded towards your direction

- You shrieked in a banshee-like manner and moved out of the way just in time

- ‘I just saw my life flash before my eyes holy shit. So that’s what it feels like huh’

- While you were lost in your thought for a moment, a tall *and beautiful as fuck* guy went out the door and approached your still shocked form

- “Oh! Didn’t see you there. Sorry about that, my bad”. the tall guy said, rubbing his nape sheepishly, his eyes naturally falling on the hand that you raised up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear

- “Uh.. no! It was on me. ‘cause I was spying- I mean sight seeing-- UH WATCHING you guys play hahaha” *real smooth y/n, v v smooth*

- He promptly reached down for the ball near his feet and you got a glimpse of his dominant hand

- His mark was a star constellation,,, your favourite star constellation and beside that was a symbol of your dream career

- “Hey, quick question... do you like bread?”

- The tall guy looked down at you and grinned his pretty boy grin *damn you is whipped.*

- *your gut feeling was going haywire holy shit*

- “Why of course beautiful stranger! Milk bread to be exact ‘cause my mom bakes it so deliciously”, tall guy said

- You’re heart flipped and skipped a beat-- scratch that, your heart skipped a whole nth of beats that you might as well be dead

- “We have a practice match going on right now, my lovely fan. If you have something to give me, you can still wait until later! Wouldn’t want to be punched by Iwa-chan again..”

- And with that, he turned away to go inside the gym once again

- “Cassiopeia..” you muttered loud enough for him to hear as he passed by you

- “Sorry?”, he stopped in his tracks and turned to you with a shocked look on his face

- “Cassiopeia” you repeated once more, with a shaky voice. “It’s the constellation on your hand, right?”

- Oikawa, with his popularity, had been approached by plenty of his admirers, often claiming that they love astronomy and that they knew what kind of constellation his mark bears

- But when he asked them with his usual flirty voice he perfected to please the people around him, that person stammers and just said a random planet of some sort

- ‘does this look like a planet to you-’ he thought and never had he faked a smile more than when admirers fake their interest in astronomy to get close to him

- While he does admire all the courage and effort they put in confessing to him, he also hates the fact that they give him this silver lining of hope that he finally has someone whom he can connect with emotionally as they both have a piece of each others’ soul

- So when you uttered the correct kind of constellation, he was frozen

- His mind ran miles per second, all of it consisting of ‘what ifs’ and ‘too good to be true’

- Both of you stared at each other, heart’s unknowingly beating as fast as the other

- “Oi Shittykawa, what’s taking you so long-”

- “Iwa-chan, take charge for me will you?”

- “What? Coach’ll get mad you know!”

- “Just sub someone in”

- Iwaizumi stalked closer to you guys and was prepared to beat Oikawa’s ass off but before he could assault his lame best friend,

- “Code star, iwa-chan.”

- The buff ace froze in his actions and promptly nodded silently and closed the gym doors

- The bestfriends talked before about what they’d do if they found their respective soulmates. Iwaizumi proclaimed that it was rather childish of Oikawa to have a ‘secret code’  just because his nerdy best friend believed that the aliens might take away his soulmate once they finally find them 

- Though oddly enough, the shorter male agreed to this *pfftt*

- Finally alone, never once had you both took your eyes away from each other.

- “Uh- are you- are we?” You gestured to the two of you

- “I- I think so??” Oikawa flushed, he was NOT used to being all blushy around people, esp since he has a large fanbase

- Ya’ll were awkward as shit lmao, its adorable

- “... You want some milk bread at the convenience store nearby?” 

- You yelled at yourself internally, ‘WTF BRAIN?! COULD”VE BEEN A COFFEE IN A COFFEE SHOP JFC I am overheating sm’

- He gave you one of the softest smiles he himself never thought he could unintentionally do

- “I’d love that!”

[cinnaminsvga]

body of mine preview | Seokjin (M)

→ summary: It’s the night before Seokjin’s birthday and you, his ever-reliable witch slash roommate, have accidentally forgotten to get him a gift. Good thing you know magic then, right? Ten wishes shouldn’t be too hard to handle...

{or alternatively: learning the importance of living a marie kondo lifestyle, but in hindsight}

→ genre: shifter!au, magic!au, humor/crack, smut → warnings: jin is your magical hamster familiar, jin is chaotic (ofc), aphrodisiac sex, penetrative sex, oral (f receiving), slightly rough sex, dom!jin if you squint, hair pulling, jin doesn’t wrap up his peepee (pls practice safe sex u guys), slight breeding kink?? → words: anticipated 15K → a/n: jfc... how the hell is it july already... this was supposed to be a bday gift for @jincherie​ but i suck balls and writing overheated my tiny chimp brain but i guess better late than never!! anyway... hope to get this out [insert date here] but uhhh til then... here is this!!

Due to your magical abilities, you had sensed that this little hamster had magic in his veins and you guessed that he must have either been a shifter or an intellectually augmented animal. You guessed that he’s the former, much like how Yoongi is a cat shifter as well. Ever since Namjoon had befriended Yoongi and the two became partners, you admit that you’ve always been a little jealous of their natural camaraderie. You had long since yearned for someone who could assist you in your magical apothecary, but more importantly, someone you could share your time with.

You were optimistic; perhaps when the little hamster learned to shift into its human form, then you could truly begin your journey towards friendship. You’re sure that the man behind the hamster must be just as cute and lovely.

Speaking of learning to shift–

“What? You mean me?” Yoongi asked, craning his head over Namjoon’s shoulder, his curiosity getting the better of him but still remaining a safe distance away from you and the hamster. “What about learning to shift?”

“Did you just learn one day? I want to get Mr. Hamster over here to turn into a human so I can speak to him,” you explained, but the cat shifter narrows his eyes distrustfully.

“I don’t want that vermin to gain the ability to speak. I can just tell no one is going to enjoy what he has to say,” he sniffed. He growled lowly, the sound so deep and feral that you are momentarily disarmed by his hostility. Namjoon had to rub the back of his ears for a second, forcing Yoongi to calm down until his growl softened into a purr.

“Well, Yoongi over here can’t control his shifting abilities quite yet. I have to… forcibly change him, if you will,” Namjoon explained, watching Yoongi with loving eyes as he gently nuzzled into the witch’s hand. He beckoned you closer and you took a tentative step forward, keeping the hamster behind your back just to be safe. “Watch,” he said simply, as his hand trails lower and lower until it reached the back of Yoongi’s neck and he–

Poof! Namjoon simply tickled the back of Yoongi’s neck and a puff of purple smoke revealed a munchkin cat in its wake. His soft gray and white fur bristled in surprise, his teeth bared at Namjoon as he meowed in contempt. Namjoon ignored all of this, gently picking up the tiny cat and cradling him in his arms like a baby. Immediately, the shifter relaxed, eyes closing contentedly as he nuzzles deeper into Namjoon’s chest.

“Woah,” you said, for lack of better words. You shook your head, gazing at the two in wonder. “I didn’t know Yoongi has a fucking eject button.”

“Yep. I sure hope you don’t abuse this knowledge, by the way,” Namjoon warned, but the mischievous gleam in his eyes told you that he probably wouldn’t mind if you did. Knowing you, there was no question that you’d take any and every opportunity to annoy the cat shifter. “If this hamster is the same, then surely it has a similar tick. Since it’s small too, I’m sure it’ll be easy to find its spot.”

“Speaking of,” you piped up, staring curiously at him. “How… did you find out where Yoongi’s spot was? Didn’t you meet him as a human?”

Namjoon shrugged, but there’s a soft pink tint coloring the tops of his ears. “Umm… Coincidence?”

You squinted at him. “Sure,” you agreed, not really wanting to know why he seemed so embarrassed. You turned back to the furry matter at hand, lips pursing as you gazed upon the hamster. Surely, there should be an easy way to figure this out…

You began to roll the small hamster in your hand like a pancake, twisting and pulling the lil guy until it was squeaking in protest. You made sure not to handle it too roughly, so you were a bit surprised at how dramatically the hamster was screaming. “Just another moment, baby…” you murmured. At the sound of the pet name, the hamster paused in its squirming, staring wide-eyed at you with its tiny mouth ridiculously agape. You arched a brow, amused at the aghast expression on its face.

“Well, that settles it. You’re definitely human, by the looks of it,” you commented, poking it lightly on the nose. The hamster scrunched up its face just as a soft pink smoke started to envelop its tiny body. You coughed harshly, your sinuses tickled by the strong scent of caramel and mint. “W-well, I think I found its spot,” you pointed out helplessly, eyes watering as you tried to keep them open.

The hamster’s body was growing ridiculously hot, forcing you to drop it on your kitchen counter. You hissed, sucking on your burned appendages as you wait for the smoke to subside. Beside you, Namjoon had Yoongi held tightly in his arms, his back turned away to keep the smoke away from their faces. “Y/N, get some clothes quickly. He’s going to be cold when he finishes transforming,” was all he said, his free hand covering his nose. “This is probably going to be its first shift!”

You’re still completely flabbergasted, frozen in place. “What?” you replied dumbly, standing stock still as you waited for the smoke to dissipate. As more and more of it cleared, you noticed two pairs of long legs where there originally had been none. You waved your hand a bit, fanning the remaining fumes away from your face, allowing you to gaze upon a very naked and very tall man sitting primly on your kitchen counter.

You and the man stared each other down, neither of you blinking or backing down. After a few moments, the man smiled brightly at you, his cheeks bunching up much like how he had appeared in his hamster form. “Hello, human,” he greeted, extending a hand towards you. You took it dazedly, still staring wide-eyed at him. “My name is Seokjin. I suppose this means I’m going to be your familiar from now on.”

Your gaze travelled downwards, your hands still clasped together with his. “You’re naked,” you said plainly.

He followed your gaze. “I suppose I am,” he mused, shrugging his shoulders. He was incredibly wide; it almost made no sense that he was a hamster just a few seconds ago. What did he do, bench press sunflower seeds all day? “I am also incredibly beautiful, but we can continue stating the obvious another day.” He released your hands, clasping them together with a beatific smile. “C’mon, human! Bring me your finest garments for my handsomely sculpted testicles are starting to shrivel up from the cold.”

Behind you, you could hear Yoongi hissing loudly in response.

And from that day forward, your adventures of living with the biggest nuisance in the world had begun.

[callsignbaphomet]

My aunt drove me to the appointment and I was hesitant at first because she is...a stress factor in my life. I know for sure she doesn't mean to be and I'm sure she doesn't even realize she's doing it but it ain't easy talking to her. I feel like my entire family is prone to playing the victim.

Example. A few years ago my aunt planned out a vacation for all of us to go on. The majority of us didn't want to go. It started disastrously bad when my idiot brother wanted to take the long way which here in PR it means going through the middle of the island which meant taking roads that were curves over curves over curves. I get car/motion sickness. I said this aloud. My aunt and my mom have witnessed this first hand. Solution? I gotta drive to avoid throwing up. I didn't want to drive because I didn't know the directions, even then we got super lost, and I was on some medication that forced my p****d out and I didn't wanna go on this vacation but was forced to go (this is me as an adult btw 😐).

So what happened? We had to pull over so I could throw up on the side of the road. I was beyond pissed. The rest of the week went from bad to worse. My sister and her husband insisted that all they wanted to do was go to the beach. I don't like going to the beach, I don't like swimming, I don't like pools, I don't like getting wet. First time at the beach I was on the shore overheating and heavily bleeding and I looked miserable but yeah I'm soooo glad that bitch and her bitch husband had soooo much fun.

Following day they (sister and her husband) wanted to go to another beach. My mom spoke up and said I wouldn't be able to go into the water and didn't think it was fun to just sit at the shore all day. Someone finally remembered me 🙄

So C, who had had enough of the trip since the start had been super quiet and I got a little angry at him for not speaking up either. Turns out he was on the phone searching for interesting things to do in the area aside from going to the fucking beach. So he asked my aunt if he and I could borrow her car. She said okay and during the entire stay all they did was follow my idiot sister from one beach to another, that's ALL they did. Beach hopping.

Meanwhile C and I went to see some weird salt flats, we saw a fuck old lighthouse and befriended some cats, we went to a really old church with an amazingly beautiful garden full of flowers. On the third day we went out to a park and had ice cream. Loooots of ice cream. So all in all C managed to make that disaster better. When he and I got back to the apartment my sister was putting on a show about how C and I didn't wanna spend time with the family.

Dude, I went from 0 to 1 trillion in 1 second and I swear I was gonna lunge at her but C grabbed me basically by the scruff of the neck and held me back and quietly said, "If that's what you think that's a you problem." and we went to take a shower. Which btw only had two temperatures: third degree burn and lava coming out of Satan's butthole. You can imagine how great that felt in the middle of summer in the south side of PR.

Fourth day was an all out disaster cuz my idiot brother, who btw, first day there kicked me and C out cuz he wanted our room cuz it was the only one with ac and he needed it because his crack whore ass was detoxing from some meds. Was yelling and screaming about going to kill himself (read: he wanted something and no one was indulging him so he used the excuse to kill himself to manipulate my mom and aunt to get him what he wanted).

That day was a mess of people pointing fingers and mostly my sister shoving blame everywhere and basically calling out my aunt for making us all go on this vacation when no one else wanted to go.

Drive back was awkward as fuck all with my aunt crying and feeling bad and me and C on damage control. She was super mad that all they did was go to the beach and asked me and C about all we did so we did and tried to make her feel better because my sister told her she has a lot of flaws she needs to work on and now she all boo hoo. Sure, my sister coulda worded it better but I'm glad it happened.

My aunt is one of those "my way or the highway" type of people. She gets set on one thing and noooooothing will change her mind. She constantly hounds me about doing something "productive" with my art. I often just shrug and ignore her but this is constant. I don't sketch in front of her anymore because it's every single time. She also doesn't take social clues, she outright ignores them on purpose. If a subject makes someone uncomfortable she'll keep prying because in her eyes you're probably not working hard enough or doing your best.

On the way to the doctor she brought up art again. I outright told her I wasn't going to do it. I wanted to say not everything has to be about making money but I held on to that one. I told her it was hard to establish a network, that I would be competing with thousands and thousands of people and that it was hard.

All she got outta that was that everything is hard and I'd have to work hard to get out there and establish myself.

Bruh...I was stunned.

So I outright told her no. I don't want to. My art is for peace of mind and she dropped it but I just know she'll bring it up again.

Look. As a hobbyist my art is okay but me charging people for that??? Who the fuck would??? Pay for that???? Jfc.

So we moved on to yet another uncomfortable subject and she said I may have ptsd. Dude...no offense but ya ain't a doctor (thank fuck). So she told me I should check to see a psychologist because then I'd have the tools to handle things better. Fair. I have been thinking about that to see if maybe I can finally get an answer to several things or if maybe I'm making all this dumb shit up in my head. But that was about all the logical shit she said.

She even thinks people are actually not working because they wanna live off unemployment and don't wanna work.

My face went blank. I tried explaining to her that people are protesting unsafe work environments, slave labor/wages, shitty bosses and she heard all of that (granted maybe I could explained it better) and all she said was, "You gotta start somewhere and from there go up".

Then it struck me that of course she'd never understand. This woman NEVER had to work during her entire years of college or even her master's. She has NEVER worked a minimum wage job ever in her entire life. I wanna find articles on what is going on with that and send them to her. She's all of what I said and more but she can sooooometimes see reason. To be honest I'm angry and disappointed in her. She always seemed to adhere to more open minded concepts in terms of society, how differences in generations was good for all of us in general, who's taken to learning what she can about mental illnesses and trauma and so on. She still has much to learn about those last two, she still can't comprehand how me making phone calls scares the fuck outta me, but it's a start? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idk I just needed to let all of that out. I love her, she's done a lot for me but she's also been a source of stress for me and I can't openly talk to her about anything because she's not easy to talk to. Sorry for the length.

[33max]

OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM DEAD, I’ve literally overheated and fucking died this was so so GOOD and so so so HOT jfc

I’m writing this from the grave

Chaste | A Din Djarin x Reader Fic

Pairing: Din Djarin/ The Mandalorian x Reader (fem; no y/n)

Word Count: 2.1k

Rating: E | Warnings: NSFW - explicit sexual content, heavy petting, mutual masturbation, creampie, dity talk featuring Din’s bedroom voice. 18+ only.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who voted in my little poll yesterday! And thank you to @huliabitch​ for encouraging me to write this. This is just something I wrote in between final papers. I don’t want to try to fit it into the current timeline so let’s just say this is sometime in the future well after Din decides to keep the kid. No spoilers for season two. No backstory, no plot; just smut. We might need that to cope depending on how the season finale goes tomorrow…

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My Masterlist

… . …

Chaste

Unsurprisingly, Din woke up hard. Again.

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[perspectiveartist]

I’d say the only good thing about nearly fainting and having a panic attack is that once you start to feel better, it’s like a weight off your body. I mean I can’t speak for everyone, but when I feel really faint, my head feels like it’s made of lead, I get dry mouth, my heart’s racing, my limbs are jelly, etc. And part of that is what leads me into having a panic attack, because my body just cannot handle the overload of whatever I might have on my mind + those symptoms.

And for anyone that’s ever abruptly passed out from low blood sugar or low blood pressure or overheating or whatever, you probably know what I mean. Cuz it tends to leave you feeling fucked up for several hours, if not the rest of the day.

So when you finally realize “Hey I don’t feel like my organs are vibrating inside me! My fingers are still shaky but hey we can work on that. My heart’s not pounding, it’s actually pretty chill. I can sit up, my head’s okay, I don’t feel dizzy anymore. HELL YEAH.”

and gobless Anne cuz we were at McDonald’s and there was a fuckass long line because they were short-staffed it seems and some lady asking about gift cards was apparently being a huge cunt?? (I missed this cuz I was in the car). But while we were in line, I realized that it felt heavy to raise my eyes to look at the menu. First instinct was “Ugh I really do need my eyes tested again because this is getting ridiculous.” Text isn’t illegible but it’s still doing some mild overlapping that can really strain me when I already can’t read the fucking thin letters on your fancy electronic menu.

So anyway yeah I quietly told Anne I needed to sit down, and after a bit she reconfirmed with me what I wanted because I was obviously off in space somewhere and I affirmed it. And as I sat there waiting on a bench, I bounced my leg around, tried to take deep breaths, etc. But then another girl sat next to me that I don’t know and I think the social anxiety aspect came in of “Oh god what if I pass out in fucking McDonald’s? I don’t want to have to give Mom a call for a ride or help or something jfc. And that poor staff did not need that stress. So I asked Anne if I could go wait in the car and she said “Yeah sure, you can turn on the air too if you want.” So I felt like I was walking on pillows (not a great sign) and by the time I sat in the car and started it up so I could blast the air in my face to cool off, I had been on the verge of “I’m gonna vom”. But I calmed down mostly.

It’s just that even after you get PAST the actual incident, the physical symptoms can linger. I was still way spaced out and talking even weakly made my heart race more and I feel so terrible because Anne really could have used some kind of comfort or a conversation maybe but my brain was too muddy to think of anything helpful.

I’m mostly feeling better now after chugging water, klonopin, and eating my food. But ugh. It is a nice feeling whenever you realize you start to feel better. And I’m so glad Anne understands dizziness and feeling faint from her own incidences like with migraines and anxiety.

Anyway sorry for long post, I’m tired now cuz the klonopin is kicking in some but I feel more at peace again and might get back to knitting in a little while.

[little-forget-me-not]

So I took refuge at Bea's place today since my father is executing his plan of painting the whole house...including my room despite my plea of mercy (which he ignored as usual lol)...which I know will be a huge mess. It was way too stressful to be there. I'm not feeling very well today. Very giddy and fatigued and overheated. I'm still drenched in sweat and my stomach is cramping painfully. Not fun haha. So I've returned. The first thing my dad said when I returned was to yell at me to vacuum the room. My room, my home is a mess. Everything is messed up and filthy. My skin burns at the contact of debris because it's a sensitive fricker. Everything is out of place and they've dumped every filthy thing on my bed. My freaking bed. I have no place to sleep tonight. The paint they used hurts my head and nose because of the fumes gdi. My sense of smell is stupid strong. My bed is a mess. They torn down the filthy decade-old curtains before the girlfriend even moved in that I've never touched because a giant bed cage was in way and well apart from being inaccessible it was just.......dirty af. My cage bed is not pushed in properly so there's a gaping hole where it usually presses against the wall. Why. It's too heavy for me to move obviously... it's a metal cage jfc. Every dirty thing is on my bed. Everything is a mess. Everything is dirty and I'm looking at it all and my body is unwell and I think....I'm too tired to deal with this today. I've got work tomorrow. I can't vacuum, mop, wipe, wash the bedsheets and blankets and pillows and all that in one night and still manage to bathe, dry everything and go to bed and wake up early for work. I didn't even get enough sleep cuz my dad rudely woke me up. I'm just one person. Meanwhile everyone has their stuff cleaned obviously because the kids have their mum and my dad to help them......great. My dad started to chastise me, going on about how I wasn't here to help and supervise and I told him that I already said I didn't want my room touched, that it was his decision and now he's created a huge mess that I have to clean up and he's made my life a living hell. I told him I have no bed to sleep on tonight and he patronisingly and rudely snapped "Just pack lah!" Just pack? What is there to fucking pack? Just fucking pack when every surface of my bed has been contaminated? Every corner of my room is messed up? All my stuff is scattered and I'll need to relocate them? That garbage has been dumped on my bed and I have no clean place to sleep even if I packed the room? What the fuck. Not to mention I have an injured arm and that I'm feeling sick? This is like the last time when he renovated the entire house when I was a teen and used my room as a literal storeroom to dump his shit in, where it was so filthy and dusty I developed instant rashes. I'm not gonna chance this again when my body is already so sensitive and I'm not properly prepared...... He got rid of my bed then and I had no place to sleep in. He replaced my bed with this metal bed frame, the freaking cage and I didn't have a mattress to sleep on. I asked him for one and he gave me one that was so thin I felt every bar on my back. In the end I remember going to the trash to retrieve my old mattress lol.(ended up giving me body aches for years that I finally saved up and spent money on a proper mattress and now my body aches are gone! Please invest in a good mattress it will seriously benefit you) What a shit show. I'm older now. More capable, extremely jaded but aware of my limits. And my body is saying we can't deal with this today. Still being unfortunately mistreated though..........almost feels like a failure if not for the fact that I shouldn't feel responsible for my dad's bullying. Anyway............yeah.......this............is very unpleasant. But hey I'm a lot calmer and handling it better than it could've been considering how my home is a wreck now. I am so glad I saved Shotamaru, my security blanket and sheep.......imagine if they were filthy now......................

[platonicsironic]

Journal: 25 January 2017

So, I’ve had about a hundred different things I’ve wanted to post about, so I’m just going to try to start keeping up a regular journal.

School

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve taken some pretty neat classes in school. In Astronomy we made little paper devices to help track the movement of the sun, in Music Appreciation we got to fiddle with a violin (no pun intended) and I went to see an orchestra for one of my grades.

I also have a few programming classes. I honestly only really care about the HTML class, but I guess the others are neat, too.

I’m honestly kind of surprised at the people in my Astronomy class. I think I may be the only one who’s actually unironically enjoying that class. Idk, I think all that space stuff is neat, even if the teacher reaaaaly likes to enforce how much of a fakey fake psudoscience some unscientific things are.

((THOSE THINGS ARE CALLED “BELIEFS”. THEY’RE NOT BACKED BY SCIENCE, THEY’RE BACKED BY WHAT PEOPLE, YKNOW, BELIEVE.))

Idk, just the general anti-psychic/astrology/occult stuff. Idk just the fact that he’s like, this stuff is all FAKEY FAKE and it’s fake because SCIENCE FAKE FAKE and I’m just over here like. Yo. Chill. Leave my fun fairytale stuff alone and go back to talking about space, yo.

But other than that, I really like the class. Like I’m learning all about technically useless information that’s just NEAT. And realizing certain things that are just?? MINDBLOWING???

Like omfg it never occurred to me. Mars. The people who are moving to Mars. They’re going to need ENTIRELY NEW constellations. Will they have their own horoscope??? Like idk if they’d even bother with it, but OMGGGGG I HOPE THEY HAVE THEIR OWN HOROSCOPE AND JUST.

Hold on, lemmie save my Mars geeking out for another post LMAO

Art Comics

As for artistic endeavors, I’ve played around with a few different story ideas for comics. Problem is, I’m not sure I have much of an interest in it. It’s something that I’m good at, and I do still want to play with these stories, but whenever I really get into it, I feel like I start overcomplicating everything, and it just sort of sucks all the fun out of it.

Another issue is that I have no idea if I even own my old characters? I know I had talked about putting them all into the Public Domain, mostly just out of sheer frustration and fear because people would readily shove their useless precautions at me instead of. Oh. I don’t know. ACTUALLY SHOWING AN INTEREST IN MY DIN DAMN PROJECT.

Like, okay, I get it, someone could steal my idea, AS LONG AS I’M STILL ALLOWED TO DO IT, I DON’T CARE, GOD.

Except, I worked very briefly with a small group right before school started. They wanted me to try a more toony artstyle, and so, as I am like to do, I drew some random doodles of Arble in a toony way. Also doodled a new character and sent them to the not-exactly “main guy” of the group.

Instead of saying “yeah, this is a good artstyle, we’ll get back to you on the story-line and ideas”, he IMMEDIATELY tried to implement them into the project.

I had to put his exiting rambles to a grinding halt and make sure he was paying 150% attention to me before I could seem to make it clear that I wasn’t giving him Arble.

That was kinda scary. I’m not even sure why, because it was just something for a kid’s game, but I just really wasn’t comfortable with them trying to use my kitty.

Which, technically they still could… IF Arble is in the Public Domain. But I don’t even know if he is or not.

I know I had TALKED about putting my characters in, but I think Marcus the Magical Magician was the only one I made any headway on documenting.

But then there’s also the confusion as to whether Arble’s original version being in the Public Domain makes the Revamped Arble be in the Public Domain. Because a lot of the original versions of Disney Princesses are in the Public Domain (being that they’re old folk tales or whatever), but the DISNEY SPECIFIC versions of those characters are NOT Public Domain.

And then there’s even MORE confusion as to whether that’s even anything or not because??? If I understand correctly, Characters aren’t “copyrighted”, they’re “trademarked”.

And just???

Fuck, I need to talk to a professional.

Actually General Art or Something

So, I’m officially mentally swamped on the comics department. For the time being, I’m thinking I may do character designs and little simple things. Maybe just write my stories for once. Maybe make some visual novels.

Actually, the visual novel thing would work pretty well with school stuff, since I’m learning HTML5 and all. It would make for a good way to build up a little portfolio, I think.

But yeah, I’m mostly thinking of making things to build up a portfolio, showing off my coloring/inking/spriting/animating/whatever skills to get some side-gigs.

I’m also probably going to avoid doing digital art for a while, at least until I can get a new charger for my SP3. I miss working directly on its surface, but the overheating was maddening. I want to save up for a computer I can use to draw directly on the screen without it threatening to catch on fire or whatever. I’ve thought about switching to the iPad Pro, but I can’t use Manga Studio on it, so that’s kind of disappointing.

But regardless, I actually got some dorky spy glasses in recently, and while I literally only bought them because I loved that dumb stuff as a kid, it occurred to me that’d make doing traditional speed paints WAYYY easier, because I tried it before and the camera got knocked over SOOOO much omg.

Okay, so Recap or TL;DR or Something

Okay so basically I’m learning a lot of cool stuff, school is fun, idk if I own my characters??? I’m going to build my portfolio and start doing speed paints probably.

And yeah these are basic summaries of journals I’ve been trying to write since school started JFC AFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFlsjflsjfj so. YES. FINALLY GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY.

Man idk these should probably be separated as individual posts, but whatevs.

//Also in other news, I know that I’ve read that adding images to kind of break up the walls of text is like... good procedure or whatever, but it kinda started to feel a little dumb so idk maybe I just shouldn’t write walls of text or something LMAO