#I’m flagging down college students who are visiting the bars

[ri-afan]

I’m very much an ‘egg a person on’ to the grabbing of Halloween candy that a ‘we can stretch this in the office candy bowl after Halloween’ person wouldn’t appreciate.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Caesar Gattuso - Year One

Cassell College, Norton Hall

Norton Hall was not accustomed to this level of decadence. The stately hall had hosted its own manner of events that catered to lords and ladies in the fashion of high society, but this event had the formality of a massive rock concert-slash-frat party. Although the sun had set, it was still technically Freedom Day and Caesar Gattuso had made his presence known in his first year by winning the contest. Now it was time to cement his legacy. As soon as the announcement of the winner was read, trucks rushed to surround Norton Hall and opened their back doors to reveal equipment that had to have been ordered weeks in advance. Huge speakers, stage equipment, sound, lighting and confetti. By the time the guests arrived, the music was loud enough to shake the building. 

The blue and white Sikorsky helicopter, the mother of all helicopters, swooped over Norton Hall blowing the hair of the women and sending decorations flying. A rope was lowered down and Caesar Gattuso - year one - swung down recklessly, a vicious cold smile on his face, firing a gun in the air. There was a moment of gaiety and joy as the new students of the Student Union welcomed their President with cheers and raised glasses and thunderous applause.

Caesar landed cleanly in his Cassell Uniform, that old green, but he quickly tossed away that jacket to reveal his bare muscular chest. A huge crate landed on the ground next to him and he opened it and pulled out a huge gun that looked like a bazooka and fired it into the air. The rocket exploded into bright red fireworks and he laughed, like a joyous king on conquering the enemy capital. The jacket soared into the gathered crowd in the garden where the women in bathing suits pounced on it, tearing and yanking on it like packs of hyenas.  The day was hot and humid and the perfect time for a pool party. There should not have been any time to build a real pool but Caesar anticipated his win so far in advance that he ordered the sculpture garden revamped. The water was just ready enough as he made his entrance and all the guests dove into a new pool that stretched the length of the backyard.

Dancers surrounded the pool in sequined bathing suits waving feather fronds in their own individual spotlights. The walls of the outside of the building were covered in billboard-sized LED screens so people could watch themselves party. The sound and lighting alone had to cost a few hundred grand and the power demands were so great that generator trucks sat outside. But Caesar doesn’t care about time, money, or restrictions. That’s why he hires people. He just wanted it done and Caesar had over staffed. The attendance was bloated with waiters pouring champagne, valets taking clothes to lockers, cooks replenishing the buffet and cleaning up crew to cart away the bottles. He never wanted his guests to wait or wonder when the next plate of hors dourves would pass by. He wanted everyone to get roaring drunk. And they weren't drinking from some old well. They were drinking the finest, top-shelf liquor and spirits a Gattuso could afford.

And that meant all of them, open bar. 

Security detail especially was huge.  Caesar was accustomed to party crashers. Before you could even approach Norton Hall on this night you had to get through layers of checkpoints. If you weren’t on the list, you couldn’t even approach the street the building was on and had to watch and listen from a distance, knowing that you just weren’t good enough to make the cut for Student Union.

Nono was poolside, cooling her toes in the water. Her bikini accentuated the curves of her body and the length of her legs. If anything was worthy about Cassell it was her. Despite the rich and joyous smiles of everyone around, their eyes met easily over the fray and the noise. She was calm as though this was a nice day at the beach and that unruffled manner in a sea of revelry just made his heart beat faster. He made his way over to her and offered her her own glass of Champagne which she accepted with serene grace. 

“Enjoying the party?” He asked, sitting down next to her.

She sipped, her eyes taking in the scene in front of her.. “Hm. It’s certainly fun watching everyone have such a good time. But I’m more curious about what’s happening next door.”

He followed her gaze. The revamping of the backyard to accommodate the pool had left a gap in the shrubbery and they could both see the cars parked out in front of Amber Hall as a shield. “Those flags on the antennae of the cars don’t come from any coat of arms or country I’ve ever seen. What about you?”

“It does seem like a state visit. The student inside registered as His Royal Highness.” Caesar smirked a bit. “But results on his exam are still pending. We’ll see how much of a King he really is.”

“Are you planning to start a war?” Her eyes sparkled with intrigue, that unique shade of crimson that fascinated him the moment he saw it the first time.

“Well, they’ve drawn the battleline already haven’t they?” Caesar’s eyes glittered with malicious humor. “Kings are meant to be conquered.” He finished off his glass and a waiter was there to take it immediately. “But since you’re so interested. Shall we go spy on the neighbors?”

“You’re going to ditch your own party that you paid millions for?” Nono snorted.

“I will if you want to.” He said softly, so that only she could hear.

Nono suddenly felt a perverse rise in rebellion at this but, in fact, she was curious who those people were. She didn’t answer verbally. She just stood up and started walking. Caesar followed. 

The only way to see over the trucks was to rise to the second floor but this mystery family had even thought of that and installed black tarps over the garden where people could go outside if they wanted fresh air. These tarps extended from the second story windows of Amber Hall to the SUVs. The rest of the grounds were empty of people. Nono had her bare legs over Caesar’s bare shoulders on the open air balcony, using binoculars to peer in though a tiny gap between the tarps, watching people pass by a single window. Because they thought the tarps would hide it, they left that window uncovered.

“They look older. The people in attendance aren’t students. But they must all be hybrids. Some of them are armed. I saw one with a gun earlier.” Nono said. “They look antique though. Nothing modern.”

“Old men come to cosplay? Typical royal family. Turns out this isn’t as interesting as I thought it would be.” Caesar said.

As soon as those words left his mouth, a sound reached his ears, soft, but unmistakable. A gunshot. Caesar blinked in confusion, not sure if he had heard right. Then another and another! 

“Something’s happened, the crowd is scattering!” Nono said.

He lowered Nono from his shoulders.. “Get down!”

“Hey, put me back up!” 

But Caesar had already vaulted over the balcony and landed on his feet, dashing towards Amber Hall. Nono followed him, determined not to let him get to know what was going on before she did.

-------------

While Dominic was taking his royal vows, a pair of green eyes watched him from the upper floor of Amber Hall. Those Green eyes belonged to Tjark - silent T - Beninga. He was also in a Cassell Uniform but stayed in the shadows. He’d heard of Dominic from his family after he got accepted to Cassell, his parents had applied for him to go here as a ‘special assignment’. His family were underground merchants, mercenaries, and the rich people below needed someone to watch their favored son and with his high level blood, he was a shoe in for the job. It wasn’t until after his arrival did he understand that his job wasn’t to protect the little prince, but to keep him from escaping.

Apparently, he didn’t want to be a prince. Tough break. You can’t pick your parentage.

But he didn’t mind being on watch duty. Dominic was easy on the eyes. If he played his cards right, perhaps he could be promoted to his closest side rather than being a peripheral.

When Dominic fell to the floor, he sat up straight watching Sylke race to him with a feeling of jealousy. That is until his black sword nearly took off her head and the gun fired. Dominic was running up the stairs, firing the pistol, efficiently dropping people one by one and he felt his heart flutter with amazement, excitement, and admiration. He hadn’t really believed this guy was an escape artist. Now he could see it with his own eyes. His job was to stop him from getting away at any cost.

The man was racing right for him towards a second story window, but Tjark simply raised his foot to catch his shin. Dominic fell forward but twisted his body immediately to face him. His eyes were crazed and desperate. He was running for real.

Tjark was top of his class in Taekwondo, Karate and Judo and immediately as he saw that fiery bright light in Dominic’s eyes he felt it spark in him. He no longer had to hold back for sporting rules of competition. He wondered how many hits this guy could take as he lashed out with his fists against and again.

But each time he struck, Dominic continued to back away, ducking, keeping his distance and blocking with one arm. Until he reached the window. Tjark saw his plan and hurried to block him from jumping through. That glass wasn’t the safe kind that could break into little pebbles but the kind that would shatter into sharp blades.

Dominic raised the pistol and fired at Tjark’s head and Tjark ducked away.

Dominic recklessly leaped through it, crystal shards tearing into his suit as he rolled down the tarps to the vans with Tjark right behind him. “Are you insane?” He asked, laughing. 

Dominic didn’t answer, he just turned, fired the gun once, but his aim missed.  He leaped down from the SUV and took off towards where Caesar and Nono were approaching with stunned looks on their faces. He passed them with the full unnatural speed of a hybrid.

 “Nice ass, buddy!” Tjark hollered as he passed them. “Just let me handle this and go back to your party! I’ll see you later!”

Caesar sneered.

When Tjark turned back around, Dominic was on him like a tiger. As soon as he realized Tjark was distracted he turned right back around, ran back to him and destroyed his temple with a roundhouse kick that knocked him flat to the pavement. He pulled a pistol and shot him once before turning and running away.

Nono gasped and rushed to where Tjark was lying on the ground.

“He’s fine. That was an alchemy round. He’ll wake up in about thirty minutes.”  

At this time, people were pouring out of Amber Hall. “Find him! Don’t let him get away!”

Caesar’s eyes widened. This was way more fun than a frat party. A game of hide and seek, a scavenger hunt, a chase. He had to keep this in mind for the next Day of Liberty. He turned and ran back towards Norton Hall.

“Where are you going?” Nono asked.

 He shouted over his shoulder. The cold light in his eyes was replaced by a fiery challenge. “This is way more interesting. You’re right! I’m going to join in!”

[soulbutterlanguages]

See Chicago on the Budget of a Poor College Student !

Chicago is absolutely beautiful if you know where to go! And there’s plenty more to see than just The Bean. I moved here for school a year and a half ago, and I still have much more to explore in this amazing city.

I’ve written up a little guide for anyone interested in visiting Chicago on their next trip. This guide is also based off of ‘El’ (train) stops.

Totally free things both downtown and north.

   - Maggie Daley Park is just a two minute walk from the always mentioned Bean (which is actually meant to be a cloud) and as an adult, I’ve never felt like more of a kid again. It’s a fantastic date spot, or if you’re just feeling silly, take a stroll over the bridge and find yourself on a pirate ship.

  -Navy Pier disclaimer; Navy Pier is a tourist trap, but it is also beautiful. Totally free to just stroll across, but the attractions come at a heavy price. Worth seeing once. 

   - ChristkindlMarkt  no doubt you’ve already heard of this, but during the winter months, Chicago hosts three different German Christmas Markets scattered across the city that are rival only Europe’s Christmas Markets. 

   -Lincoln Park Zoo/Conservatory I ADORE the conservatory! They have a whole room of Orchids and more or less any plant you can imagine (including the Sensitive Plant that curls up when you touch it) it’s very cute and I love spending time there. Also pretty close if you want to get away from the crowds is a beautiful little Lily Park across the street. Really nice to sit and read by and the ducks are 11/10.

   -Chinatown! Blocks and blocks of asian culture!! There is hardly any English seen or even spoken it’s so cool to see (but you can certainly get by). If you’re a K-Pop fan, there are at least three stores dedicated to K-Pop merch to peruse. 

   -Boystown! Pride flags everywhere, drag shows, comedy shows, LGBTQ+ facts literally posted on street corners. It’s so much fun. You will pass sex shops that aren’t afraid to tell you what they’re all about if you’re traveling with children, just know that.

   -Bookstores (depending on who you ask) are free to look around in! We have some really amazing bookstores both new and used, so do your research if you’re interested. 

  -Little Vietnam! There’s a whole stretch of road where there is nearly no English a block or two away from the Red Line Argyle stop. Really amazing food and shops. There’s also a whole bunch of other cool things in this area too.

  -Big Ass Starbucks ! I’m not a fan of Starbucks, but this one is super cool. I highly recommend if you stumble across it, to take a look. There’s a bar on the top floor.

  -Red Line Roulette a great little game we like to play where we close our eyes and point to a random stop on the red line (usually north of Roosevelt) and get off there and see what we can find. This works with most lines, we just live on the red line and therefore use it the most.

Nearly free things

  -Museums! Most places have pretty nice student discounts, or even free student tickets. Some museums are pricier than others but totally worth it! You can see some of your favorite paintings at the Art Institute, or learn about your favorite American authors down the street at the lesser known American Writers Museum. There is a variety of science museums as well to check out. My favorite is the Chicago History Museum, where you can learn about gangsters and the packing industry and hundreds of fascinating other things.

  -Cultural Centers! As you can imagine, Chicago is incredibly diverse! Chicago is home to the National Museum of Mexican Art, as well as the DANK Haus, and even the Swedish American Museum. 

  -Jenni’s Ice Cream! I don’t want to set the bar too high on this one but once you try it, ice cream will never be the same.

  -Music Box Theater! Beautiful little theater, sort of off the beaten path, with all sorts of obscure movies playing at all times. 

  -DIY Music Scene!!!! This is truly amazing. One thing I’ve noticed in my time living here, is that apparently when people are moving out of their apartments, the tradition is to clear out all furniture and have local rock bands play. Some of the best nights of my life happened in a room of twenty people trying to dance in a kitchen. If you’re interested check out bands like Ex Okays, Spacebones, and Engine Summer. Usually they’ll charge something like $3-9 for a show, but you have to find them. 

  -Go on an architecture tour! Chicago history is really fascinating! Learn about it!

 Here’s a list of restaurants that are great

   Nutella cafe (worth going once if you like Nutella)

   Stan’s Donut’s 

   Anne Sather’s

   Here’s some more

      General tips ~

    -ditch the car. Even if you’re an amazing driver, it’ll only cause stress and you’ll find yourself spending more time getting to places than being there. Plus we have a really amazing public transport system!

    -similarly, don’t be afraid of the public transport system! You might occasionally stroll into a car that smells like pee or have someone come up and talk to you. Be polite and they’ll leave you alone. As a short woman who likes to be out late, I have never really felt unsafe in my time here. That being said, be cautious. If it’s after 10pm, have at least another person traveling on the bus or train with you.

  - you don’t need to lock your zippers or wear your bag on your front. In fact, you might even be targeted more. Once I accidentally rode three stops on the El with my back pack totally open, and I got to my destination and nothing was missing. On the other hand, I had a friend have his phone stolen on the CTA (the train) but only because the man said “please let me borrow your phone, I have to call my daughter.” so my friend stupidly handed it to him to which the man responded “this is mine now.” I shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t hand your stuff to people you don’t know.

  -for god’s sake check the weather before you come ! Weather here is really temporal. The joke is; if you don’t like the weather now, wait five minutes. 

  -Uber instead of taxi if you can’t take the El Taxi costs  a lot more money

  - Know when the El shuts down. I think only the Red Line runs 24/7 so have a plan. 

  -Have evening plans before the evening comes. Surprisingly, things close pretty early in the day, so know what you want to do

There you go! If you have any questions message me! Or feel free to add on. The list is really endless, this is just what I could think of off the top of my head. 

[killingmebtob]

Rose // Yook Sungjae

Author: @killingmebtob // Gen

Title: Rose

Characters: Sungjae and Reader

Summary: But I got you this rose, and I need to know, will you let it die or let it grow.

Author’s Note: Inspired by Shawn Mendes’ <Rose>, listen to it while reading this^^

---

Your name: submit What is this?

---

A rose for his heart, a token of his love

He practices his wish, his confession on his lips;

Standing before her, he asks shakily,

"A rose to represent my love,

Will you let it grow or will it fall?”

He stood in front of me at my doorstep. He was drenched from head to toe, a sign that he had ran in the rain. He did not meet my eyes. Shuffling on his feet, he hesitated before he offered a stalk of rose in his hands.

~*~

A few weeks ago

“Hey big bear!”

I heard the annoying voice calling out for me from behind. I groaned and rolled my eyes before turning around. There was only one person in this world that used that nickname on me; and it was the one and only brat in my life and the bane of my existence.

“What?” I hissed through my teeth, folding my arms in front of my chest as I eyed him running towards my direction.

“Shall we grab lunch together? You don’t have lectures until two hours later right?”

I nodded my head at his questions, agreeing to both as I was about to spend my lunch alone anyway.

“How’re your finals preparation? You looked like you hadn’t slept for years.” He nudged me by his elbow as I gave out a yawn, stretching my arms in the process.

“Geez, thanks for the honesty. I’ve been burning the midnight oil to cramp everything in my head,” I explained, waving a dismissive hand while the other rubbed my sleepy eyes.

“Are you killing yourself for the finals? You should get your sleep pattern right!” he nagged, earning an eye roll from me.

“What about you? You looked too refreshed for finals period.”

“I’m meeting a few of my friends to study after lecture later,” he explained.

“You study? That’s a first,” I mused teasingly.

“Hey, what do you -”

“Oppa!”

He was cut off by a high pitched voice.

A junior from Sungjae’s department ran towards us, immediately linking her arm around his. I eyed that connection, raising an eyebrow at him as he gave her a knowing smile.

“Oppa, there are a few questions I need to ask you for my assessment. You have no lectures now right?”

She tugged on his arm as he awkwardly laughed, scratching the back of his head while throwing me pitiful glances. She seemed to finally realized they were not alone, meeting my eyes for the first time ever since she interrupted us.

“Are you his girlfriend?” Sungjae’s shoulders flinched at the question, hurriedly pulling his arm out of hers as he stuttered his explanation.

“No, I’ll get going now.” I did a simple wave before turning around, leaving the both of them in their own world.

“Again,” I found myself muttering, recalling the other similar moments.

~*~

The glass slammed against the hard table, another gulp of alcohol sipped into the stomach. Just a while ago, I bumped into Hyunsik while on the way back. He informed that something was bothering him so he had invited me to a drinking session. Worried, I agreed. I held onto his hand to stop him from downing another glass.

“Are you ok?”

Concern laced my voice as I realized how red his cheeks were. He nodded groggily, trying to pull his hand out of my touch.

I met Hyunsik in my department’s orientation. He was a senior from my department and I was a lost little duckling before he approached me and offered help. Since then, he had been assisting me throughout my college years and I am never more grateful than now. But seeing him so troubled, it pains me to know what happened.

“Y/N, you’re soooo…… pretty…..” I heard him mutter as he tried to gulp another glass. I pulled the full glass out of his hand, called out for the bill and with his arm around my shoulder, I struggled to escort him out of the bar.

Finally flagging a cab down, I threw him onto the backseat before joining him at the side. He had already lost consciousness, muttering incoherent words throughout the journey back home. Grateful to the driver, he helped the heavy body of Hyunsik to the lift before leaving. I thanked him before continuing my struggle back to his apartment.

Throwing his body onto the bed, I took a seat at the edge, letting out a sigh of relief. He sure was heavy. Pulling his shoes out, I adjusted his body before exiting to dig for some hangover medicine. After placing the pills at his side table, I took a last glance before turning around to leave. But a hand reached out for my wrist, pulling me back. I turned to face him, realizing he was sitting up while his grip was firm on my hand. He pulled me closer to him as I eyed his every action. His arms wrapping around my waist as he buried his head into my stomach.

“I like you so much…. Why can’t you see….”

He mumbled against my clothes. I shook him at his shoulder but he did not respond. Trying to untangle him from my body, I unwrapped his arms before tucking him back to bed. I let out a breath I did not realize I was holding.

What was that….

~*~

“Gosh, my mom has been breathing down my neck,” Sungjae complained as soon as I saw him.

Shaking my head with a smile, I asked, “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything! All of a sudden, she started complaining about me not having a girlfriend like some friend’s son.” I stifled a laugh at the reason. He nudged me with his elbow, getting me to cut it out.

“Remember that once when she wanted us to actually date?” I reminisced that moment while laughing. He groaned in frustration, catching him rolling his eyes.

“Hey it was funny!” I exclaimed, wanting him to laugh with me.

“No it wasn’t.” “Yes it was.” “No it wasn’t.

“Yes it was!

“No it -”

“Y/N.” Another voice interrupted our childish argument. Our eyes darted towards the direction of the voice, realizing it was Hyunsik standing in front of us.

“Hyunsik,” I greeted, feeling the awkwardness thickening the air, especially how I started to avoid him after that night. If his confession was true, I did not want to hurt him.

“I want to thank you for helping me home that night, I hope I wasn’t a drunk mess.” He started, pushing his hand into his pocket as he spoke. I let out an awkward laugh, dismissing it off with a wave.

“No no, it was nothing. I hope you’re feeling better now.”

“I am, is it alright if I treat you to a meal? As my gratitude.”

“It’s fine, really. You don’t have to.”

“I insist. You have nothing on right now, right?”

“Well…” I trailed off, instinct got me to glance at Sungjae who was here throughout the whole push-and-pull conversation.

“She’s free, take her!” Sungjae pushed me lightly towards him before bidding us goodbye.

~*~

My hot bowl of ramen warmed my cold body in the winter. No one breathed a word as we carried on with our lunch, the tension in the air was so thick. The cafeteria was quieter now that lunch hour was over, most students were having their lectures right now. Gathering another spoon of noodles, I hummed while munching on it. Realizing there was a pair of eyes staring at me, I looked up at him and gave him a tight smile.

“I actually have something to say.” He started, a stern expression flashed cross his face.

“What is it?” I asked, scooping a spoonful of hot broth.

“I like you, Y/N. And I’m asking for a chance from you.”

My actions halt in the air as I processed the words he said. I felt my stomach flipped as he continued staring, not backing out as I did not respond to his sudden confession. I opened my mouth to reply but no words came out.

“I’m not asking for a reply right now, I’ll wait.” He flashed a toothy grin before resuming his meal.

~*~

I opened another can of beer as another gust of wind blew past us. It really was cold by the river at night but I had enough layers on me to protect myself from the winter breeze. Sungjae continued sipping on the opened can he had in his hand as I downed my next can.

“This finals is killing me,” I muttered before filling my mouth with the alcohol.

“Definitely, my body clock is so screwed up.” Sungjae agreed, causing me to laugh. “How was the meal with your senior?” he continued.

“It’s alright.” I shrugged, missing out the important detail of the meal.

“I didn’t know you two are close.”

“Well, it’s not like I have to tell you everything, do I?” I shot back, waiting for his defence but nothing came.

“I was kidding,” I pushed him slightly on his arm with a smile. His shoulder dropped in relief, realizing I was just teasing him.

“Did he do anything while drunk?”

I gulped another mouth of beer before wiping the leaked liquid from the side of my lips using my sleeve. I felt myself blush as that moment of confession flashed past.

“Did he?” He nudged me with his elbow. I didn’t reply, so he continued teasing.

“He confessed.”

And no reply came after.

~*~

“Coming.” I shouted as the insistent ringing on my doorbell continued. Opening the door, Sungjae was standing outside my apartment.

“Hi!” He waved happily at me as I wondered his purpose of visit.

“What is it?”

“Are you going out now?” He studied my outfit; a simple dark blue dress that stopped mid-thigh, my shoulders bare. I left my door open as I headed back into my room to slide a bracelet to go along with the dress.

“There’s a dinner with my department people. Hyunsik invited me” I explained, touching up my lipstick the last time before I leave.

“With him?” He invited himself in the apartment, now leaning against my room’s door frame. “I don’t like it.” “What?” “I don’t like you meeting him.”

I rolled my eyes at his childish sentence before heading towards my bed to pick up my bag.

“Why not?”

“It feels like he has some other ulterior motives.”

I sighed, standing in front of him.

“Don’t insult him like that, you don’t even know him. Look, I don’t get why you are acting up. Even if I really end up with him, I would appreciate you to just be happy for me. Why are you acting like this?” I felt my voice increasing as our argument was heating up.

“Like what?”

“Like, this! Demanding and controlling!”

“I’m just worried!” “There’s nothing to be worried about! I don’t know why you’re here today but I have no mood to continue talking to you so get out.”

He threw me a last glance before turning around, heading towards the main door of my apartment.

~*~ His hair dripped wet, covering his face as he could not meet my eyes. It had been a week or two since the argument, and we had not been talking since. I treasured him as a friend, but not when he was acting that way.

“Sungjae, what -”

“Y/N, please listen to me.” He cut me off, startling me with his serious voice. “I’m sorry I acted that way, I shouldn’t have and I didn’t had the right to. But -”

“Y/N? Who is it at the door?” Hyunsik shouted from behind before joining us at the door. Sungjae’s face fell when he realized I was not alone.

“It’s just Sungjae.” I explained, glancing up to give him a smile as he greeted Sungjae.

“I didn’t know you had company…” Sungjae continued after Hyunsik left us to grab a cup of water.

“We’re waiting for the rain to subside before heading to a farewell for the graduating seniors. Do you want to come in and get yourself dried?” I offered, worried that he might catch a cold.

“It’s.. It’s ok. I’ll get going. This is for you. Have fun.” He ended, handing me the rose hurriedly with a whisper. Slowly, he headed towards the lift lobby, leaving a puddle of water in front of my doorstep and a confused expression on my face.

And I never knew what were the words he had intended to say.

Rose in his hand, she waves him off

For he is a step too late, a breath too slow;

For she has closed his door to her heart,

And without hearing the words from his lips,

She chooses to let the rose wither and fall

[loudlytransparenttrash]

What do you think about free college in the US? My sister says she’s all for it but I’ve never been on board.

The only way it should ever be considered is if we scrap the extensive bogus courses being offered and restore colleges as a place we go to learn the skills, trades and knowledge required to join the workforce and contribute to society and the economy. Our colleges are churning out the most unskilled, unstable and unqualified people in the country as they have increasingly become less about education and more about creating a holiday resort where their every woe and feeling is pandered to and soothed, and where they can pass their classes by burning the flag or writing ‘black lives matter’ with period blood. I’m not sure that’s something taxpayers will get on board with funding any time soon.

If we offered free tuition to students in the current state our colleges are in, it’s safe to say things wouldn’t be as burden-free and peachy as Bernie sells it. Our schools are already overcrowded, especially in community colleges where they are turning students away so try to imagine how they’d cope with the influx when everyone starts cashing in on their free ride. Massive wait lists would have to be created and further expanded and budgets would instantly become strained. Considering the shitshow of our colleges today, what’s more likely to be cut to cover these overwhelming costs, safe spaces for black queers and stress-relieving puppy visits or whatever respect would be left in higher education? 

The problem with everyone being offered free college is the same problem we would have if the government printed more money and gave everyone a billion dollars. If everyone has it, then its value becomes worthless. If everyone is going to college and getting the same watered-down, worthless education with a participation award at the end, then your qualifications no longer make you qualified and I’m not sure if employers can lower the bar any further than they already have for affirmative action and gender quotas.  

To realistically manage the masses, there would still have to be some kind of sorting model, which means the “discrimination” they want to rid us from is inevitable. If tuition costs and hard work are no longer factors in managing numbers and sorting people, the only other option is a merit-based system, much like our immigration system should be. This is exactly the sorting mechanism the free tuition nations use, they don’t discriminate on affordability but they sure as hell discriminate on intelligence and academic achievement. 

These countries require high school students to know the field they will pursue in college and then have to pass exhaustive tests in order to get in. For instance, Germany is infamous for tracking students into or out of higher education by a test called the Abitur. In France, high school principals decide whether a student gets to be on a college track and the weeklong baccalaureate exam determines if they can go to a college. Finland force children at age 16 to choose a track and many students don’t even get a whiff of college once they fail the academic requirement. So if America follows in the steps of these countries socialists are always pointing to, then how long will it take before it’s branded racist by those same leftists when certain patterns inevitably begin to develop in these academic tests… I have a feeling affirmative action will become very necessary. 

Clearly I’m only speaking against those who already ridicule education by flocking to the overgrowing new radicalized and left-wing agenda-driving courses. If we could find a way to make it cheaper for those willing to take real classes and take their education seriously, knowing they will eventually become our doctors, scientists and educators, then I’d probably get on board. Even more, if anywhere needs more support and cheap tuition to incentivize education, it’s vocational and trade schools. Our country is suffering from a great shortage in skilled workers, trades are dying out and it’s making it easier to be replaced by machines. Call me crazy but I think we may need more welders, plumbers and electricians than we need intersectional feminist theorists.

Thanks for the message :) xx 

[dispatchesfrom2020]

2020

Week 11: March 8-14

8: Canada records its first COVID-19 death. Italy, having announced a limited shut-down in northern provinces the day prior, declares a national quarantine. They are the first country to implement a country-wide quarantine. While restaurants and bars were initially allowed to continue with limited capacity, measures quickly tighten. Within days, only stores selling essential goods are allowed to remain open - but cases and deaths continue to soar throughout the month, filling hospitals and extending the lockdown into early April.

9: Ireland cancels St. Patrick’s Day parades. I continue to be very annoying at work, probably. I meet Cheese, the Corgi, in one of my last visits with friends before lockdowns begin in earnest.

Italy, amidst the lockdown, is virtually empty. The usually busy Forum is a deserted, March 10

10: Coachella is postponed - and nothing of merit is lost. Harvard announces that the University will be switching to online classes, giving students five days to pack their dorms and move home - many other colleges will be issuing similar plans in coming days and weeks. The Grand Princess sails under the Golden Gate bridge to land in Oakland, California - during the ship’s cruise from Hawaii to California, nearly two dozen staff and crew have fallen ill with coronavirus. Too many countries to count begin experiencing spiking cases - they close schools, shut down flights, ask returning travellers to self-isolate and declare states of emergency. Putin backs a measure that might enable him to become lifetime president of Russia and the Democratic primaries continue in the United States with Biden cinching Idaho, Mississippi, Missouri and Michigan and leading in the mail-in Washington vote. Bernie takes North Dakota. Canada caps the day by introducing a measure to ban conversion therapy. Hey, it ain’t all bad news.

11: More countries - more first cases (Honduras), more first deaths (Sweden, Ireland, Belgium, and  Indonesia). The WHO officially declares COVID a pandemic. Tom Hanks announces, from Australia, he has coronavirus and suddenly I’m not the crazy germaphobe at work anymore - everyone is starting to freak out. Harvey Weinstein is sentenced to 23 years in jail - he will later contract the coronavirus as an inmate at Wende Correction Facility in upstate New York. A new, teensy-weensy dinosaur is discovered in China: Oculudentavis khaungraae.

Stores - like this Manhattan Costco - experience long lines and product shortages as people stock up as the coronavirus worsens.

12: Two extremely, extremely rare white giraffes are killed by poaches in Kenya. Countries across Europe continue to close universities and schools - as well as museums, theatres and cinemas. Broadway goes dark as New York’s governor Andrew Cuomo, brother of CNN-news-hottie-I-had-no-idea-existed-before-2020 Chris Cuomo, closes theatres and television live-tapings. The city of New Rochelle, NY, is a coronavirus hub - the governor introduces a containment zone around the town’s synagogue, the suspected transmission cite for many of the town’s recent cases. Panic-buying across the country leaves toilet paper aisles full and the rest of us contemplating whether or not we should invest in bidet manufacturers. Trump enacts widespread travel restrictions - but in a vague way that has Americans studying abroad in Europe scampering for pricy, last-minute flights home. They stream out of bars and clubs and race home to dormitories to pack as their frantic parents try and book them extremely pricy last-minute tickets home, fearing their children will be trapped in Europe by border closures and quarantine regulations. The administration later clarifies that Americans are free to return anytime - providing they can find a flight. 

13: This is the day the world really stops. President Trump declares a state of emergency. Countries like Poland, Czechia and Andorra announce lockdowns, except essential retail businesses. Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie are self-isolating, as she falls ill with flu-like symptoms and tests conclude she has contracted the illness. The virus is spreading to even small territories - like Guadeloupe (France). And in Louisville Kentucky, a young black ER technician named Breonna Taylor, was killed by plainclothes officers conducting a no-knock raid on her house, searching for her ex-boyfriend - a man who’d already been picked up by police hours earlier. Her boyfriend, Kenneth Walker, fearing intruders were breaking into their home, fired a warning shot from his legally owned firearm - police retaliated with a barrage of bullets, firing blindly into the home. They killed Breonna Taylor. Her death becomes an focal point of the racial justice movements over the summer of 2020 - alongside Ahmaud Arbery, Elijah McClain, and George Floyd.

Future History Now organized and painted this mural of Breonna Taylor in Annapolis, Maryland.

14: A French Canadian woman, Édith Blais, kidnapped with her Italian boyfriend in Burkina Faso in 2018, escapes in Mali. The pair flag down a civilian who drives them to a UN Checkpoint. I go grocery shopping in anticipation that we, too, will be locked down, sending pictures of my not-panic-buying-but-close-to-panic-buying haul.

photos: (1) Antonio Masiello / Getty Images | (2) Gabriela Bhaskar / New York Times| (3) Patrick Smith / Getty Images

[flyingangelofblueislands]

Lately

UP10TION Wei (Lee Sungjun) X Kogyeol (Go Minsoo)

Bias X Reader

Genre: Fluff and contemplation, lol

PART 1 (maybe)

You had been anticipating this school trip for months. It was your first overnight-trip, or any kind of trip really, without your family. Just you and your friends. Well, and the rest of your classmates and the supervising faculty staff as well. It was your class’ turn to take a historical tour that all the students enrolled in that history course took, at some point during their semester, to visit and learn more about the various historical spots in the country as per usual of the course. It would be a five hour drive to the location, so the buses had to leave at 6:00am. You would get to the location and then spend the night and return in the afternoon the next day. So that was also exciting, but stressful at the same time. There was nothing in your closet that you wanted to be seen in. Luckily, you already discussed this with your friends and you were going shopping with the money from your part-time job on the weekends to buy a new outfit at least for the first day. The second day didn’t seem to matter as much. It would be a short day and you would just riding a bus for the bulk of it. You met your friends at the indoor mall on the other side of town. After conceding to your friend Ailee’s requests to get some food first, you all took your trays of food and sat at the high chairs in the mall’s food court. Your eyes caught sight of a familiar group of guys first. You nudged your best friend’s side urgently.   “Jiji, look! Look!”  Jiji turned and looked in your direction. “Sungjun is here. Is this fate or what…” You mused, fantastically whimsical. Jiji smirked and took a long sip of her bubble tea before answering you.

“Or what. This is the closest mall to school. Everybody comes here.” “Whatever. Just come with me.” You responded flippantly while dragging her off her bar stool and coming down off of yours simultaneously. Jiji’s eyes bugged. “You’re going to confess to him here?” “I have to. If I don’t tell him soon I think I’ll explode.” You both started to make your way over to where he was. Jiji halted you in both of your tracks. “What about, Minsoo?” She asked you, almost frantically. It made you stop moving. More out of confusion than anything else. “What about him?” Jiji bit her lip and shot a look over towards Ailee and the other girls. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you….” “Tell me what? Hurry up, Sungjun is about to leave—“ “Three weeks ago Ailee told me that Minsoo told her in strict confidence that he was going to ask you out on this trip, they’ve been planning something—but I don’t know what they’re planning exactly so don’t get mad at me okay? And I know you said you gave up on him last semester-but love doesn’t disappear that fast right? It was all just bad timing and I’m just the messenger who was never supposed to be the messenger!” Jiji’s words tumbled out of her mouth faster than she could even keep up with and spun in circles around your head twice as fast. All you could get out was, “What?” You felt, both, glued to the floor and as if you were swimming in thick water. You and Minsoo had grown up together. You met him when you transferred to a different school when you were 13. You had a crush on Minsoo immediately and you, being the type of person you were, even confessed to him within the first month of meeting him. He told you he didn’t even know you and you should just be friends. You compiled. Hoping that once he got to know you better, you’d date. So settled for that. Keeping hope close to your heart for all these years. It paid off. During the summer break of your last year (of high school), he confessed to you. Stating that he would’ve done it sooner but he had thought you had given up on him a long time ago. You assured him you had not. It was almost a happy ending. Until you were waitlisted at your university of choice. The same University as Minsoo. You refused to go to any other school. So you opted to enroll in an online school to take some University courses come spring, so you wouldn’t fall behind, and reapply the next year. Minsoo, on the other hand, had been accepted and was leaving come fall. So after only a few months of blissful meeting, you told him with a heavy heart that he should go and experience college life without burden. He tried to convince you that nothing would change between you if you dated and he would still come down and see you every day. You couldn’t accept introducing that kind of stress on him while he was studying. So you told him that it was just over. He took it pretty hard. It led to him distancing himself from you after a while. Which you took as what it was. When you finally got accepted into his University a year later after reapplying, he actually approached you first. However, neither of you could find the right time or moment to bring up the idea of the two of you. You wanted to confess again, but didn’t want it to seem like you were just following him around like a sad puppy. You were already at the same University as him when during the last year, with your good grades, you could’ve applied literally anywhere else…You started to think to yourself. Why didn’t you? Then you wouldn’t be in this mess now. “Earth to Y/N.” Jiji gently flicked your forehead to snap you back to reality. Your focus rearranged and you spotted Sungjun and his friends leaving the food court and exiting out the side doors of the mall. You exhaled heavily. “What are you doing?” “Exploding.”

The next day came amid much excitement. Your dorm mates stayed up all night with you, helping you not over pack and trying to calm you down. You didn’t know why you were still so excited. It was going to be a sh*t show. Minsoo and Sungjun were both going to be on the trip. They didn’t know each other, but you knew both of them. Ailee was Minsoo’s good friend since they came to this University at the same time and met in new student orientation for first-year University students. You met Sungjun the same way, except, in orientation for transfer students. Jiji, you met through Ailee, who Minsoo had introduced you to, in efforts to help you make new friends when you first came to this school. By simple scheduling necessity, you all took the same History course, just at different times. You sighed again. Was Minsoo really going to confess? You made your way to the meeting place. Where all the students and faculty were gathered around. Everyone was milling about hugging their coats to their mouths and trying to shuffle away the cold. You tried peeking around for faces you recognized. When you couldn’t see anyone past the masses of student bodies, you pulled out your phone to call Jiji. The Head of the History Department called out for everyone’s attention and told everyone to listen for their professor’s name and line up in front of the bus number he would assign to the teacher’s name. Your heart jumped. You had a feeling the bus assignments would be by Professor. That meant you would be riding with Jiji and Sungjun. Ailee on a different bus and Minsoo on another. You breathed a sigh of relief. At least you wouldn’t have to think of anything for the next five hours. You heard the Head of Department call out your Professor and her assigned bus number and made your way through the bustle of students towards your bus. When you arrived, you checked in with your Professor and moved forward to put your overnight bag under the bus. As you backed up, you bumped into a warm body. You turned around surprised, “Oh! Sorry!—“You recognized Minsoo’s smiling face, “Minsoo!” “Why are you surprised? You know I have this class too.” “I know, but I thought they called your professor’s name already. You should be on your bus…” “I came off for a minute to give you something.” He pulled one of his hands from behind his back. It was holding a small plush backpack in the shape of Rilakkuma. “Rilakkuma!” You beamed at the backpack. “I remember you used to collect things like these.” He looked at you slightly nervous. “Do you still like them?” You nodded immediately. He smiled, relieved. The Department Head announced the bus numbers and professor’s name as a last call. Minsoo continued, “There’s things you like inside. Open it when you feel a craving.” You smiled up at him, touched. “Thanks, Minsoo.” “Anytime.” Minsoo lingered, his hand suddenly reaching up and holding yours. “You think if I ride your bus instead, I’ll get in trouble?.” He joked. You laughed a tiny bit, “They’ll probably call roll on the bus to make sure people aren’t skipping. You could get marked absent.” “You’re worth it.” Minsoo remarked without missing a beat. You got a bit shy and looked away, “What’s with you today…” You said softly trying not to smile. Minsoo shrugged while never taking his eyes off of you. “Just making up for lost time, I guess.” You wanted to ask him if it was for lost time to come on the bus ride or lost time that already passed. You heard a knocking on the bus window and looked up, Jiji’s face was warning you to get on the bus already. “I should go.” “Oh? I forgot Jiji was in your class.” He motioned for her to open the window. She obliged, “What do you want, Minsoo—It’s cold!” Minsoo pulled a face at her before answering, “Just make sure you take care of Y/N. I don’t want anything happening to her.” Jiji rolled her eyes at the sentiment. “Oh please! We’re riding a bus down there, not a horse! Y/N come on! They’re pulling off!” Minsoo played with your fingers, “Go. I should go, too. I’ll see you down there.” “Bye.” You called out after him as he squeezed his way past some of the late-arriving students scrambling to find their Professor’s bus. You watched him disappear into the crowd before pushing your way onto the bus. Jiji stood up and flagged you down to where she was sitting. You made your way to her, clutching your purse and new Rilakkuma bag. Her eyes flitted to the plush bag and she couldn’t help but snicker. “Did Minsoo give you that?” You plopped down next to her, and pretended to be nonchalant. “Maybe he did.” “Did he say…anything?…” She probed quietly. You shook your head, knowing what she meant. “Not exactly, no.” “What do you mean ‘not exactly’?” Jiji asked folding her arms and leaning sideways in her seat to face you. You sat catty corner in your seat to face her as well. “I mean, he said things, but didn’t really say anything.” Jiji let out a high pitched sigh of annoyance. “I feel like I’m getting stressed just trying to keep up with you two.” You fixed your mouth to agree with her but got interrupted but a male voice. “Keep up with who? Me and Y/N?” Sungjun’s joking voice filtered into the conversation. You both greeted him happily. “You’re late!” You stated playfully. “I know! I didn’t even hear my alarm clock go off!” “Hm. It’s lucky you didn’t get left behind.” You commented. He smirked, “Lucky for who? Me or you?” He raised an eyebrow. You reached out to hit him and he backed just out of reach, before reaching out and grabbing your hand. “Sit with me.” “I’m already sitting with Jiji.” “Don’t use me as an excuse.” Jiji interjected. You whipped your head around at her and gave her a glare. She just smiled at you. Living for the torment in your eyes. “Be a big girl and make your own decisions.” You heard her loaded statement despite her light tone. “Fine.” You turned to Sungjun, “I’ll sit with you.” Sungjun beamed and picked your bags from you and guided you to an empty pair of seats that happened to be two seats behind Jiji. You scooted in towards the window at his offering and settled in. After putting both of your bags and his own in the overhead above your seats, Sungjun settled down next to you as well. “You wanna know something funny?” “What?” “I’ve been thinking all week how to ask you to sit with me on this bus ride.” “What?” You partially laughed as he held his own semi-embarrassed smile, “Really?” Sungjun nodded his head and let out a grunt while covering his smiling face momentarily. After looking at you for a quick moment, he exhaled and licked his lips due to them being a bit dry, and then looked straight ahead as he spoke. “Don’t ask me why. I just know it’s all I thought about.” “Well here we are.” You tossed in to ease his weird nerves. You felt another opening to tell him your feelings in this moment for some reason. “I saw you in the mall yesterday.” He turned his head towards you in surprise, “You did? Why didn’t you say anything?” “I was going to, but then you left before I could get over to you-it was in the food court and you were eating a hamburger…” You trailed off, not sure why you felt you had to add that last part. Sungjun just laughed at your observation. “You could’ve still come over, if that’s what stopped you. Me eating?” “That wasn’t it.” “Then what was it? And you know it was funny? I was actually talking about you with my friends then.” You felt your confession bubbling at the back of your throat. It was like a compulsion. Everytime you got around him, lately, you wanted to spill your guts. You looked down into your lap and in untimely but pure coincidence, you got a two messages from Minsoo back to back.

let’s eat lunch together today.

I was thinking we could talk…i’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately…

Sungjun’s eyes flitted to your phone. You clicked the screen off immediately but not hurriedly and looked out the window. You heard him ask you innocently, “You okay? Who was that?” “A Senior I know. He wants to have lunch together when we arrive…” You spoke absent-mindedly before remembering the conversation that had been cut off before you saw your text messages, “You said you were talking about me with your friends?” “Mhm.” Sungjun nodded and stood up to get his bag from the overhead. He sat back down and began to rummage through it. “What about me were you talking about?” Instead of answering you, Sungjun handed you a small envelope with your name on it. “Wait! Don’t read it now.” He lips carried a nervous smile as he hurriedly put his hand over yours as you tried to open the envelope. “Read it after the day is over. In your room. Let’s just spend the day happily. Learn new things. Create memories.” You felt your stomach leap forward and twist.

**************************************************************************** 2.6k for Honey10s and this amazing Japanese comeback that just happened + the soon arriving Korean comeback! p.s. This is Wei’s era and we are blessed to be living in it. loll  I would’ve done this sooner but I was honestly so caught up in life. But I’ve missed writing fics. This one is a bit rough I feel like I fell off my horse, but forgive me as I get back in the swing of things everyone. I left it open to a part 2, but I prooooobably won’t continue it. lol I have so many mini series going on it makes no sense. next up is the other two series i started and left you cliff hanging for three months… this is me leaving and getting to work! see you soon I promise!

love, peace, and quick fluff reads!

~Admin Fluffintine

[femnet]

Summer is the season for travel. If you’ve been considering coming down (or up) to the Lone Star State, here are the best cities to visit in Texas based on the experiences of a Texan™!

Travel Reminders and Fun Texan Facts

Texas is very hot in the summer! It can get up to 110 degrees F depending on where you are. Make sure to bring plenty of sunscreen, shorts, tank tops, and sandals.

If you’re visiting in the winter, STILL PACK SHORTS! Our weather changes constantly and can’t make up its mind. One day it will be in the 30s and the next it will be in the 80s. In Texas, you’re never safe from the heat.

Texas used to be its own country! We were called The Republic of Texas and this lasted for about ten years. (But it still counts!)

Our flag can be flown at the same height as the U.S. flag because of this AND we have our own pledge of allegiance.

Pretty much all of Texas is a historic site.

We’re known for our Southern hospitality and friendliness, but if you’re LGBTQ+ be careful in small towns.

We have a lot of rednecks and cowboys. You will see a lot of trucks, camouflage, Stetson hats, cowboy boots, button up shirts, jeans, horses, cows, beer, etc.

Remember the Alamo.

Bluebonnet season is the best time to visit, but DON’T PICK THEM, IT’S ILLEGAL!

Finally, you HAVE to try some Southern country cooking, Tex-Mex, and of course, Whataburger. I suggest Babe’s, Texas Roadhouse, and Cracker Barrel.

1. San Antonio

San Antonio is known as “The River City.” Winding through the city is the San Antonio River, which has a lovely river walk that goes all throughout downtown. There are many incredible restaurants, bars, gift shops, stores, theaters, a mall, and more right on the river.

For history buffs, the city of San Antonio is built on the grounds of the Battle of the Alamo, which occurred in 1836. In Texas, we have a special saying, “Remember the Alamo!”, which is taught to Texas students as early as first grade. If you’re going to Texas, this is a necessary trip. The Alamo chapel that was fortified in this battle still stands today as a historical landmark dedicated to the hundreds of men who perished on those grounds. You may expect for this to be located outside of the city, however, downtown San Antonio was built AROUND the remains of the Alamo. As soon as you step out of Alamo Plaza, you’re back among the tourist traps, gift shops, and skyscrapers. Alternatively, don’t be surprised to see a 200-year-old chapel in the middle of the city as you drive through. The Alamo is one of several missions located in the area, so if you find this era interesting, you may want to check out the others!

For those who love a good scare, there are several haunted hotels and other locations around town. If you would like a ghost tour of the city, visit Sisters Grimm Tours and Gift Shop at Rivercenter Mall. Of note, the Menger Hotel is known as the most haunted hotel in Texas. The Menger opened its doors in 1859, 23 years after the Battle of the Alamo, and sits right next door to the old chapel. 32 ghosts have been confirmed at the Menger, most notably the ghost of Sallie White, a housekeeper who was murdered by her husband. The Emily Morgan hotel was previously a psych ward and is also known for being quite haunted. No one is allowed on the top floor because, as a tour guide once described to me, people have been “thrown off” by ghosts. You should also be prepared to watch your coats, as it is common for them to be thrown off of racks. Of course, since hundreds perished at the Alamo, you can expect your ghost tour guide to make a stop there.

2. Dallas/Fort Worth/Arlington

Even on road signs, Dallas and Fort Worth grouped together as “DFW.” Fort Worth is pretty much a smaller version of Dallas and is very close to its sister city. Arlington is nearby as well with unique attractions of its own, such as the original Six Flags and many shopping malls.

In all three cities, you’ll find great shopping centers and malls when you need some retail therapy. There are also several museums, from the incredible Perot Science Museum to the Dallas Holocaust Museum, to the Dallas Museum of Art.

In Dallas, I highly suggest checking out the food trucks in Klyde Warren Park. There are many delicious options that change throughout the year and there are many family-friendly activities to be found. Even if you just stop by for a quick lunch, this area is always pleasant. I also suggest stopping by La Madeleine at breakfast time for authentic French cuisine and Wild Salsa for authentic Mexican food. Besides restaurants, my best recommendations for Dallas are Dallas Summer Musicals and the Texas State Fair in the fall. They are in basically the same location and while they can be expensive at times, they’re definitely worth it.

In Fort Worth, make sure to check out the Water Gardens, the Kimbell Art Museum, and the Fort Worth Zoo. I’ve visited these attractions on many occasions with my school and they are all very enjoyable. In the spring, there is an amazing art festival called the Main Street Arts Festival. Booths are set up all along Main Street showing off works from both upcoming and world-renowned artists. The restaurants on Main are incredible, but so are the food booths at the end of the Festival grounds.

Arlington is the birthplace of the original Six Flags, Six Flags Over Texas. Six Flags gets its name from the fact that Texas has been under the rule of six different flags throughout its history, including Spain, France, Mexico, the Republic of Texas, the Confederacy, and of course, the United States. Six Flags Over Texas is a thrilling amusement park with breathtaking rides such as the famous Texas Giant, the Titan, Runaway Mountain, Mr. Freeze: Reverse Blast, Batman the Ride, and Superman Tower of Power.

For sports fans, Arlington is home to the AT&T stadium where the Cowboys play, Globe Life Park where the Rangers play, and more. I highly suggest taking tours or going to a game if you can.

3. Austin (Texan Home Base)

Austin is the capital of Texas and was the capital of the Republic of Texas as well. Fair warning: the traffic is horrendous. However, Austin has many great attractions and historical sites that make it worth the trouble. (Plus, I was born here so it’s obviously great!)

One of the things Austin is known for that you may not have heard about is bats. Under and around Congress Bridge, there are over one MILLION bats waiting for the night. People flock to Austin to watch as they wake from their slumber and fly off into the night.

The Capital Building of Texas is open for touring and is a great place to learn about Texas history and government. Around that area, there are several other government buildings and historical landmarks as well, even from when Texas was its own country.

Nearby you can find the San Marcos and Guadalupe Rivers, which are well known and loved for being an incredible tubing spot. You can bring some friends or family and relax as you float gently down the rivers along with many other locals and tourists.

The University of Texas is one of the most prestigious universities in the U.S. For those that are checking out possible universities or those that love the atmosphere of a college campus, this is a wonderful place to be. UT is well known for sports as well, just in case you know any Longhorn fans.

Other unique attractions around Austin are Lake Travis Waterloo Adventures, Lady Bird Lake, Lake Travis Zip Lines, Austin Wine Tours, The Escape Game, and more. Austin’s motto is “Stay Weird,” so you’ll be able to find many quirky places to visit and enjoy.

4. Houston

Houston is the largest city in Texas and has many attractions to share with tourists. If you’re a fan of space or you’re one of those people that wear NASA shirts, Houston is where they train astronauts. You can tour Space Center Houston and the Johnson Space Center. While I’ve never been there myself, I’ve heard many great things.

If you love nature and science, check out the Houston Zoo, the Houston Museum of Natural Science, the Downtown Aquarium, the Houston Arboretum and Nature Center, and the rest of the Museum District.

In Houston’s many parks and theaters, you can find endless live music and shows to entertain you during your visit. The theater district has a lot to offer and is a wonderful place to take family and friends. There are SEVERAL different art museums for those who appreciate it.

For history buffs, there are also many historic sites such as the Battleship Texas, the San Jacinto Museum of History, The Menil Collection, the Lone Star Flight Museum, Holocaust Museum Houston, and last and possibly the strangest, the National Museum of Funeral History.

5. Denton (AKA Mini Austin)

I will admit that I am biased towards Denton because I’m a Mean Green fan. However, Denton is genuinely a fun, lively, quirky place that deserves to be mentioned. There are two sides of Denton: the older part where The Square is, and the newer part with all the shopping centers and the mall

The Square is filled with locally owned shops, restaurants, and attractions. In the center, you can enjoy a beautiful view of the Denton County courthouse. My favorite places are Recycled Books, which is in an old opera house, LSA Burgers, and Atomic Candy. It is also near the University of North Texas (#GoMeanGreen), Texas Women’s University, which has a gorgeous campus, and Fry Street, where you can find several karaoke bars and delicious hole-in-the-wall restaurants.

Because UNT is a well-known music school, Denton has an incredible music scene. At many places on The Square and even on campus, you can find live bands playing all the time. Also on the Square or in the park near TWU, there are several music and arts festivals for creative minds.

On the other side of Denton, you’ll find many different shopping centers and an indoor mall. Whatever you need or want, Denton will have it and at a better than bigger shopping cities like Frisco. Because many shops in Denton are locally owned, you can support local artists, cooks, and vendors by buying things that you love.

For those who love a good ghost story, Old Alton Bridge is on the border between Denton and Argyle. It was featured in an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved and attracts many visitors at night. It is supposedly a favorite spot of Satanic cults and you will find many Satanic symbols on the bridge and in the surrounding forest. Many people claim to have seen a demonic Goatman, which is why the bridge is also called Goatman’s Bridge. Or, if you’re a Buzzfeed Unsolved fan, Shane’s Bridge. If you want to know whether or not the legends from locals are true, you’ll have to come out at night and find out yourself.

If you’re a sports fan, I highly suggest coming to see a UNT game at Apogee Stadium. UNT’s football team currently features Mason Fine who is rated as the 3rd best quarterback in the nation. He’s also up for the Heisman Trophy this year, and I’m very excited to see if he’ll win.

Honorable Mentions (In No Particular Order)

Glen Rose

Frisco

Corpus Christi

Galveston

El Paso

Waco

Conroe

New Braunfels

and More!

[twsupernaturalimagine]

More Than Just a Dream Pt. 1

Title: More Than Just a Dream Part 1

Author: toboldlygointothedogpark

Word Count: 1,381

Warnings: self-harm, depression, anxiety, unwanted sexual advances, alcohol, abandonment

Summary: The reader unexpectedly falls under a Djinn’s spell and doesn’t realize it until Sam and Dean come to rescue them their dream.

A/N: “Can you do one where the reader goes on a djinn hunt with cas and the boys and they have to go in her dream world to get her out and it’s exactly like the life she lives now (hunting with them, living at the bunker, etc.) but she doesn’t want to leave. And they get her out and she’s shaken up for the next few days and they finally make her talk and it turns out in there she wasn’t depressed and she didn’t have anxiety and she didn’t self harm and they comfort her and it’s fluffy”- This was the anonymous request I got a few months back! Enjoy :)

Fic:

The bar was hazy and dark. It was Friday, the regulars were there along with lanky college students trying to forget the bags under their eyes. You sighed and took another drink of your Old Fashioned. You knew that Sam, Dean, and Cas were somewhere in the background, waiting for whatever to come out of the woodwork.

You had been in Missoula for about two weeks, tracking a bunch of disappearances. You four had narrowed it down to a few culprits, but there wasn’t enough evidence to determine who or what was hunting college kids.

You readjusted your blouse and rearranged your legs, trying to be as alluring as possible. You stifled a yawn. Hunts never meant sleeping. You were tired and couldn’t stop thinking about your bed. With its nice fluffy comforter and pillows. You wanted to slip off these heels and crawl under until the comforter reached your nose. You took another sip and felt a slight touch on your arm. You turned to see an average looking guy, maybe around 23? 24? He looked like he was another one of the students looking forward to getting wasted that night. He was wearing a long sleeve black shirt and jeans. His hair was a ruffled dark brown.

“Hey. I’m Matt. Can I get you anything?” he nodded at my drink, over half gone already. Damn. The week had been hard.

You weren’t sure if this guy was the creature you were looking for, but why the hell not. Play the part, Dean always said.

“Sure,” you replied with a smile.

Matt sat down on the empty barstool next to you. He flagged the bartender down.

“Another for her and a whiskey for me. Neat.”

Matthew turned to you, obviously trying to turn the charm on you.

“So, you a student here?”

You shook your head. “No, I’m in town visiting my brother. He’s a grad student here.”

“Oh really? I’m a grad student too. What’s his name?” Matthew nodded at the bartender who plunked down two glasses on paper napkins.

“He’s uh.. Ya know you probably don’t know him. He usually sticks to himself.” You hoped that he couldn’t tell that you were pulling words out of your ass.

“What subject?”

“Ah uh.. History? I think?” If anything that might have been true if Dean went to college, much less go as far as to be a grad student.

“Ah okay! I’m a chemistry grad myself. Though history is pretty interesting. I probably know him though, there aren’t a lot of us, you get to know each other after a while. But enough about him, I’m more interested in you though.”

He scooted closer to you and rested his hand on the bare patch of skin between your boots and skirt. He started to slide his hand up your thigh. You looked up in alarm. His hand was surprisingly cold despite the packed bar and long sleeve shirt.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

His eyes held yours. Alarm swept into them for a second, then a grin set upon his small mouth.

“Okay sorry. Look you’re hot. To be honest I wanted to see if you wanted to come back with me to my place. But I suppose not. I’ll leave you alone. You’re welcome for the drink.”

He picked up his glass with more force than needed and left in a huff. You collected your thoughts and readjusted your shirt.

What a creep you thought. Men. What pigs. You didn’t want your drink anymore. You slipped off the bar stool and walked outside of the bar. It was cool, and the city lights sparkled ahead. You took in a deep breath, trying to shake the feel of Matthew’s hands.

“Hey,” a gruff voice said behind you.

You turned around to see Dean coming up from behind the bushes that lined the bar.

“What the hell was that?”

“Sorry Dean. Send Sammy in. I don’t mind being prey for bloodthirsty whatevers, but regular guys? Hell no.”

You were obviously shaken up. Cas and the boys didn’t know, but after your father walked out on you and your mother, you vowed to never let a man touch you again without your permission. All those nights he had come home drunk, with a temper fierce enough to make you wince when he slammed the taxi door. No more you vowed. No more men thinking they have a right to abuse, that’s it’s their job to put women in their place. You learned how to fight, how to protect your mother, who had never fully recovered from her marriage. The boys knew you had a rough life and didn’t ask about it. The most they knew was when Dean found you out in Bobby’s car lot, on top of a broken down pickup with a beer in hand and bottles littered around you.

Dean took a good look at you, eyes scrutinizing your outfit and overall shaken demeanor.

“Okay,” he said quietly, “I’ll send Sammy in. Besides, he’s got experience with these kinds of things.”

Dean took a final look on you and gestured for you to follow him back to his hiding spot.

As you walked back Dean’s original spot, he flipped open his phone, pressing a button. Dean held it up to his ear. He looked back at you, the light from the neon mixed with the outside lamps dappled his face through the bushes.

“Sammy? You’re on.”

~

The evening proved uneventful. Nobody seemed out of the ordinary, and besides the encounter with Matthew, there was nothing to report. The four of you rode back to the hotel in quiet. You were exhausted. You said good night to Dean and Sam and went to the room you shared with Cas. Though the angel never slept, there was a couch for him to sit on during the night if he wished.

“See you guys tomorrow morning. Bright and early. We’re hitting the streets.” Dean said, fatigue lacing his voice.

“Uh. I know that it’s a lot to ask, but can I have tomorrow morning off?”

Dean stopped and turned to look at you, the words already forming on his lips.

Sammy cut him off, “She’s worked hard Dean. Come on. You know she wouldn’t ask if she didn’t really need it.” He turned to you.

“Yeah. Be ready by 2:00 for an appointment with the Dean of Students.”

You ducked your head in a grateful nod, “See you then.”

You turned to Cas, “Coming in?”

He shook his head, “No. There are things I have to see to.” He nodded at Sam and Dean and disappeared.

“Looks like I’ll have the room to myself.” You spun triumphantly to your room.  “Good night boys.”

“2’oclock!” Dean called after.      

“Yup!” you replied as you turned the knob.

You stepped into a cold, dark, room. You flipped on the light, illuminating the room in a gold glow.

Shower. You needed a shower. In these walls, Dean and Sam couldn’t see your shaking. God you had tried to harden yourself to the world. But it had been a long time since anything like this had happened. Sure, when you had first met the boys Dean tried to make a few passes and even Sam had asked you for a drink, but no. Not at the time. Not when everything was so fresh.

But time had passed, and wounds started to heal. You started to harden your edges, started to be…better.

You stepped into the shower. Soon steam started to cloud the room and you inhaled the scents of your shampoo and soap. Your muscles started to relax. You looked down at your thighs. The scars that were so angry, so malicious were faded into purples and whites. It was odd, usually when you looked at them, you felt a black ball in your stomach, rolling full of regret and self-hatred. But now? Just..

Acceptance.

There was no itch to open fresh wounds again, no itch in your fingers to paint your legs red..

It was just acceptance.

You wrote it off as the fatigue. It was late, you were tired. Maybe you’d feel normal in the morning. Well, your version of normal. As normal as normal could be.

To be continued

[talkinganddrumsolos]

I Went To New Orleans And All You Got Is This Lousy T-Shirt

Among the glib and oversimplified beliefs I find utility in repeating to others is this recommendation: all Americans ought to visit New Orleans. I mean something more specific, of course, something like: all Americans ought to visit New Orleans but only partly for bon-temps decadence and also to see the most eccentric but perfectly logical extension of what your country's economic system and institutional racism and general human ingenuity hath wrought. To see a place where the the problems of Everytown, USA are humidified into a crucible but also where young black men regularly earn social and financial capital from playing the tuba. To see a place that is doomed in the short-to-medium term to repeat its own mistakes and doomed in the long term to Poseidon, yet "still I rise" until the sea level counters again.

This also requires having a particular point of view — some desire to witness regional cultural experience, and some empathic consciousness toward the underprivileged whose communities often are the originators of said cultural experiences. These things manifest in basic questions that should occur to any witness, as in "why is there an elaborate parade today for no particular reason?“ or “who had the idea to immerse seafood in butter?“ or “how does this elegant baroque richesse coexist with such stark inequality and tropical decay?” Apparently even this half-woke perspective is harder to come by in America c. 2017 than it it ought to be, but when presented with such marvels it isn’t really a big ask. It doesn't really matter exactly what type of privilege or cultural experience you're curious about; in New Orleans, chase any thread far enough and the intersections of oppressions and creative pursuits both should get you to some form of the experience I have in mind.

OK wait. That all scans way too grim and medicinal, especially since my personal experiences in New Orleans have been, on the whole, really fucking fun. As a wee lad my immigrant parents convened a family vacation to Louisiana basically as an excuse to escape winter and imbibe seasoned crawdads; I was old enough to remember specific things being entertaining and delicious but not old enough to find any of it particularly enlightening. About six years ago I sent myself to the Jazz and Heritage Festival for work with a colleague who happened to be a New Orleans native, and Josh basically gave me the weeklong crash course in Crescent City Conspicuous Consumption 101. The pump had been primed by jazz music mythologies and some vague inference that the city in the news and other mass-cultural phenomena all the time was indeed exceptional living history, but that was the start of the love affair really.

Throughout this last trip I just completed, well-meaning people kept asking me why I was visiting, which struck me as superfluous. I just assumed they would just assume I was there for the same reason that any other out-of-place-looking dude was suddenly in the area code: tourism. Well, that and the convergence of a few boring personal motivations: trying to make the most of forcible unemployment; trying to be warm during an East Coast winter, trying to ride a bicycle somewhere warm during an East Coast winter, trying to use some frequent flyer miles (I paid $11.20 for the flight), trying to see what attracted some good friends from college to land there and stay there, trying to take a vacation from my own simmering existential crises. But also I went to try to better understand why the music and food I’d developed a taste for existed and perpetuated itself not just by reading about it, but by consuming more of it. Basically, tourism.

If I had to pick a centerpiece event of the week I was there, it was probably the 21-hour period in which I attended the first parade of the Mardi Gras/Carnival season — the profoundly politically-incorrect Krewe du Vieux, followed by the more broadly satirical krewedelusion — and the following day’s second line parade of the CTC Steppers (nothing to do with Mardi Gras), which crossed an industrial canal into the Lower Ninth Ward led by 6-7 floats blaring bounce and modern R&B ahead of the brass band. The mere regular existence of these traditions, where ordinary people build ornate floats to slowly walk around the city in costumes for no discernible purpose other than merriment, is an manmade wonder of the world in itself. They also form a handy contrast: the white-encoded Krewe du Vieux vs. a social aid and pleasure club thoroughly suffused in blackness, skewering others vs. prideful celebration of self, depictions of Donald Trump suffering sex acts vs. a fair amount of twerking, the most economically successful areas of the city vs. a poor area still very much recovering from post-Katrina flood damage, anarchy as aesthetic vs. actual barely reined-in anarchy. In some figurative respects, and a literal one, it was night and day.

(krewedelusion, a younger, more diverse and more female set of sub-krewes, took on some sharper and generally more clever targets. Among the many were anti-AirBnB protests, Guy Fawkes masks, an all-women sub-krewe, the Krewe du Jieux [say it out loud], and a group named after James Brown: the Krewe of King James Super Bad Sex Machine Strollers. Their “security” staff was members of New Orleans Ladies Arm Wrestling. It, like much of New Orleans, doesn’t quite fit as neatly into the duality I’m setting up.)

I didn’t quite eat as much shellfish or see as much live music as I had intended, though it was still quite a bit. I did do my fair share of “chill,” as did apparently most of the city. On aimless strolls or bike rides through neighborhoods, an awful lot of folks seemed to be porch-sitting or biding their time in coffee shops or otherwise not really up to much in the middle of the day. Obviously there are plenty of people invisibly doing the building and harvesting and oil drilling and construction and shrimp-boating and cooking, and plenty of tourists to skew the visible numbers, but it seems like an awful lot of folks are marginally employed, or self-employed, or underemployed, or employed in weird service-industry hours, or just not employed. Coming from DC, a place where work-life balance is both bad and boujee, a place where people have more time than money was welcomed if a bit confusing.

Maybe this, and many of my experiences this time around, were filtered through the truly fine folks I stayed with. My friend lives with her girlfriend and another gay couple and most of that household is students and freelancers. One dude also plays in a moderately well-known rock band. Counting their central social circles, the whole thing was a bit like the Dykes To Watch Out For anthology like the one on their bathroom shelf. Basically my whole experience of this Mardi Gras parade in the presence of queer folks and at a gay bar, which, it turns out, was a pretty awesome vantage point for the freak flags of Carnival time anyhow. New Orleans has always struck me as a sort of place where people can build their scenes with relative ease, and as a general statement I’m glad all my peoples down there have found their peoples.

You see things from one subaltern position and you begin to see them all, and not coincidentally my gracious hosts are involved with several social justice communities. One night we went to a panel discussion called “Black Liberation in the Time of Trump” (it was hosted by a white anti-racism group called European Dissent) which seemed apropos. Chalk it up to my artistic interests maybe, but I’ve always observed the predominant power dynamic around New Orleans to be why black communities define so much of its cultural life yet hold so little of its wealth, and are many times legally restricted unduly in the development of that culture.

(Sometimes this discussion too easily excludes underprivileged populations that don’t fit on it. A friend of a friend, an black EMT, is often asked to list the “race” of patients, and reports that there are only two categories on the form — white and black — which is curious given the large Vietnamese and growing Hispanic communities in the city. Again, shades of grey here.)

I guess some well-meaning white folk see New Orleans as defined by its European cultural history, as in French Quarter architecture or Cajun or Italian food or erstwhile Catholicism, and there’s certainly a lot of that to go around. Here and elsewhere though, the United States of America’s popular cultural history has generally been defined by black people repurposing things for themselves, which is how you get to the neighborhoods where people actually live, and black Creole cooking, and Mardi Gras Indians, and Congo Square and jazz and R&B and traditional brass bands and modern brass bands and bounce and Cash Money Records, and a black majority population after white flight and Robert Moses freeway projects, and gentrification and/or tourism co-opting these things to sell back to moneyed mostly-white people. You can’t really enjoy yourself down there without noticing this.

One wonders whether many of the other relative post-Katrina newcomer folks participate in this cultural life of the city in any meaningful way — if it’s just another dangerous city with economic opportunity and terrible infrastructure (my God the roads), or whether the city’s exceptionalism is worthy of their deeper understanding and time investment as well. The city’s longer-term residents, I suspect, alternately welcome and revile these newcomers, depending in part on these newcomers’ engagement with local concerns. Turfing and perceived ownership in the cultural arena is a tricky topic; having “covered” transplanted white jazzmen based there and elsewhere, there are few clear rules. Yet sometimes even the best intentions for allyship or even active complicity needn’t qualify you for a hood pass, and it’s best to shut up and listen.

As is my unfortunate wont, I’ve made this whole reflection overlong and not particularly coherent. Maybe an incident from my last night in town would illuminate my general point insofar as I was trying to make one. I found myself at a wine and cheese and tapas joint with a huge outdoor patio and a monochromatically pale audience, whatevs, to see a cellist named Helen Gillet. She does a looping and improv thing across idiom, singing French chanson and American rock songs and original compositions and generally getting rad, somewhere between Andrew Bird and Tune-Yards and Yo-Yo Ma. Her last tune, fittingly, severed the hair on her bow. It was all a reminder that the New Orleans music tradition isn’t necessarily about tresillo patterns and trombones, but more generally about good and creative music.

Anyway, throughout the performance, we were frequently interrupted by two blacked-out military helicopters conducting drills above an adjacent abandoned Naval building. They would hover alarmingly low, as if to pick up a nonexistent passenger from a rooftop, then elevate away, occasionally leaving an enormous and unidentified explosion in their wakes. To put it lightly, it was very disruptive. But Helen kept at it despite the deafening roar of rotors, occasionally joking that they were listening. What else was she to do, right?

That creativity and revelry and uniquely resourceful art is valued in such quantity in New Orleans that it can support many musicians with a significant supplementary or working-to-middle-class income is, I think, no small wonder. But those military helicopters were a stark symbolic reminder that cellos are not actually ordnance; that these cultural pursuits are circumscribed by colonial and police-statist and capitalist and white supremacist systems that are more powerful, more insidious, more invisibly baked into the fabric of everyday life than we can at once describe. (This, too, was on the day we woke up and learned that Beyonce’s Southern-, Louisiana- and black-centric critically-lauded album had “lost” a Grammy award to a contrite Adele, which as many commentators pointed out, is a prime example of what systemic racism looks like in the music biz itself.) This oppression both gives rise to and then limns many of the things I love about New Orleans, and yet those things still happen, at least so far.

To a privileged observer it’s all beautiful and all damned and rarely quite so simple as one or the other. To a local, it must be hard to get on with your day unless you somewhat accept that it just is.

[northernstories]

Meet Cassidy Downing, a biology-ecology major from Almont, Mich. We asked Cassidy a few questions about her NMU experience so far: 

Why did you decide to come to NMU?   

Cassidy: I chose NMU because I remembered all the times visiting my brother at Michigan Tech when I was in high school and knew I wanted to live in the U.P. at some point in my life, but I liked the lifestyle of Marquette a bit more and had heard of the success of the Biology Department here.

What's an example of a cool, interesting or helpful thing that you have done as a part of your major?     

Cassidy: What to name first? I have branched out further socially and with my concentration than I ever thought I would here. I travelled the Monongahela National Forest last summer with the Evolutionary Biology Lab doing small mammal trapping that led to my trapping of a rare rat in the area that we are currently publishing a paper on. To have my name on a scientific publication would be a huge achievement for me, and it would be my first one. I also formed and am carrying out a study on Alaskan marten endoparasites (worms in the guts), and plan on publishing a paper on my findings as well.

What are you involved in within the university as well as outside of campus? 

Cassidy: I am a volunteer coder with the Conservation Data Lab through The Nature Conservancy, and am working on learning better coding skills to give usable data to projects that can help us look out for invasive plant species and wildfires in some areas out west. I also work in the Biology Department main office as a secretary, so come say hi! (with a mask on, please)

I also take advantage of my free time to take part in social changes on campus, and hope to make the most positive impacts possible- I believe it is up to everyone to leave their mark in a positive way and to be outspoken for those who can’t be, if possible.

Outside of school, what do you enjoy? 

Cassidy: I am a pretty avid runner and climber, with high hopes for both sports. I love the short drives to some pretty decent climbing areas around Marquette, as well as the access to beautiful spots to go trail running. Both sports give me lots of time to think and some quiet between work and classes. On the side I also do some illustrations (look out for my coloring book!) and enjoy yoga to stretch out sore muscles from climbing. I’m a huge fan of the local breweries and the food trucks that hang out near them, too.

What does “be Northern” mean to you?

Cassidy: I would say that the spirit of the student body at NMU is original, organic, and chill. There are big events that highlight green flags, sports stars and Wildcat Willy, but I don’t think that’s where the student body finds its pride. I think that the nights spent camping on national forest land, the social change that is currently challenging the foundations of old institutions, the grit of NMU students for making it through one of the school’s most difficult semesters, and the originality and quirkiness of students and staff make this place what it is. It is why Marquette is a tourist destination- there is originality, space, inventiveness, and natural beauty that makes Marquette, and NMU, truly wonderful. None of these things you can find in the bookstore with a logo on it.

What are your plans after graduation? 

Cassidy: My plans after graduating are to move to Wyoming to work with any environmental institution that will have me. I would love to (and have applied) to work as a horse packer, field technician for endangered species, or as a bum climber until options A or B become available.

Advice for current students?

Cassidy: It sounds dumb because you’ve heard it a million times, but follow your heart. It’s harder for some than others because of your financial or social dilemmas, but at any cost you should always do what makes you the happiest, even if you have to give up a lot or work really hard for it. It would be ignorant to claim that anything I’ve accomplished was in spite of my privilege, but those with privilege should always be seeking to lift those who do not up, and only together will we all be our best selves. I want to give words of wisdom to every NMU student, but for many I cannot because I do not have their life experiences. To anyone who would gain from hearing this though: your own happiness and self-worth should always come first, and the only expectations that dictate your life should be your own.

Why do you wear a mask?

Cassidy: I wear a mask because I understand that I am not the only one effected by the transmission of this virus and if I am not careful I could kill someone’s grandma. Or son. Or sibling. My own personal frustrations with wearing masks or the social issues caused by this crisis will not be solved by taking it out on others or their safety.

How have you been practicing social distancing?

Cassidy: I live with three other roommates, and we have had a “plus one” policy since March that we hold each other accountable for. That means at most, we would have eight people at our home, but to my knowledge we have not yet been good enough at planning to even make that happen. We each picked a close friend to be able to have over, and have not changed our “people” since the beginning of the pandemic. We also have tried mostly getting take-out rather than dining in, and are not going out to the bars or to parties.

How has COVID-19 changed your perspective or your lifestyle?

Cassidy: The lifestyle the pandemic forced on all of us was not easy to adjust to, but a little while into it I realized that I could live much healthier without indulging in what I used to. I do not think, even after things return to “normal” that I would spend much time at bars or drinking, and I learned to cook a lot more healthy meals at home where I would normally just be microwaving macaroni and cheese. I started running a lot more and doing yoga to work through anxiety, and now these things are just habits that I am using as a tool to better myself. I learned to appreciate a small group more, and not to feel bad if I’m not constantly hanging out with people. I think overall my worldview grew, while my personal life got simpler, which I think is a very good thing.

Tell me your story.

Cassidy: Is the “grew up in a small Michigan town” thing overused? I grew up in a small town outside Detroit, and I think it was meant to be that as a little kid I thoroughly enjoyed being coated in mud and playing with creepy crawlies because there just happened to be an abundance of such right outside my home, 24/7. I grew up obsessed with horses, and was working in horse barns cleaning stalls in trade for lessons by the time I was in high school. 

After getting a two year degree from a local community college near Detroit, I followed a path down becoming a professional horseback rider and groom. I travelled the world doing this for several years and at times was homeless, and other times was very comfortable. I worked on teams that did nothing but muck stalls in Arizona heat all day to riding with Olympic hopefuls in Germany. I worked unbelievably hard days in harsh conditions with people of all walks of life, and learned to appreciate those whose struggles are different from my own. 

I carried my pride of growing up low-income from Detroit all the way with me and used it as a tool of strength, especially on days that I was too tired to go home and slept on a hay bale in my riding clothes. After working in this career for several years I recognized that I would never feel fulfilled if I did not use my life to leave the world better than how I found it, and decided I would want to go back to school to get a degree that would help me help the environment. 

Now, about to graduate I am setting my sights on getting a field position to work for a while before looking into graduate schools. I’m a runner, climber, and social justice advocate but most importantly I am a very proud Michigan native and am extremely excited to use what I have learned at NMU to leave the world better than how I found it, in any way that I can. I hope to use any platform I am given in my life to spread awareness for peace, tolerance, and every individual’s ability to use their privilege to help others- I see this as the number one way to help save our planet, which I believe is the responsibility of all.

[water-cygnus-blog]

the inner life of a footnote, part I

you’re not what they see and hear, and neither am i. Infinite Jest, which has been with me since 2011 and with the world since 1996, helps remind me that no one is.

in the novel, David Foster Wallace visits humans across all ages, classes, genders, and (sort of) races, and then transcribes, with keen interest and empathy, the conditions of their interiority. in his 2005 commencement address to graduates of Kenyon college, Wallace explained that “the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about.” like maybe the fact that other people are actually people.

George Eliot said in Middlemarch:

[W]e do not expect people to be deeply moved by what is not unusual. That element of tragedy which lies in the very fact of frequency, has not yet wrought itself into the coarse emotion of mankind; and perhaps our frames could hardly bear much of it. If we had a keen vision and feeling of all ordinary human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow and the squirrel’s heart beat, and we should die of that roar which lies on the other side of silence. As it is, the quickest of us walk about well wadded with stupidity.

the fact that other people have lives and interests and concerns and fears and worries is obvious and not unusual, but it’s also not something that u feel in your body - you just feel yourself in there. 

...

one time as kids, my cousin Laura and i painted pennies w nail polish. this is my first memory of painting - maybe of ever making art. i remember thinking that we were defacing government property. i remember we painted the American flag and a five-petaled flower. when Laura got sick, i had been living in Massachusetts for a year. my intuition said to go home to California, where our family was. it was a clear call, and i wanted to go, but i didn’t.

here are 2 separate entries in my journal from the year i first read Infinite Jest, one dated 5/16/11 and one undated; both appear on the same page:

I had to stop reading Infinite Jest because it made me feel ashamed and addicted...

I think maybe it isn’t FAITH that’s necessary for prayer, but instead the need to communicate, the exigency of being heard and understood. Bc I was taught that He knew everything, so it followed that [God] got me on all levels, w/o that assumption now, I don’t know what I’m left w… please make her better, and don’t let her lose hope. I know, she believes in you, so please don’t let her down.

...

something that’s only recently dawned on me: i’ve conflated my desire to make art w a desire to succeed at EVERYTHING, all at once. i was inspired by artists. i listened and read interviews abt ppl passionate abt their PATHS and how creating gave their life meaning. i would think: i love making stuff, too. i want to make things, too. but i don’t want to make art, i just want to be a lawyer who’s passionate abt lawyering.

On 12/22/12, i wrote in my journal: “I wonder what will come of splitting my focus bw learning how to write & trying to be a better law student & trying to get a job. Part of me is terrified knows that writing will have to go, & I’ll just limp along studying, unfulfilled. But there’s this stupid hope that maybe what happens is I start forging some crazy neural connections & everything works out. Or maybe I figure out I was a born writer (another twinge here). Or maybe I just add writing to my life (heart beat faster, excitement) - like how diet & exercise is part of my life.”

to me, “forging some crazy neural connections & everything works out” = being a lawyer AND an artist, w love and passion for both things EQUALLY.

quick aside on that last line in that journal entry: in 2012, i had lost 15-20 lbs after starting to exercise and eating healthier. i gained it all back and then some when faced w the reality of studying for the bar exam and job hunting after law school. i’ve recently gone from 138 to 110 lbs. i take joy and comfort in cooking, and i move my body around. i keep my apartment tidy and inviting. this is NOT how i am all the time. when i tried to give everything i had to the legal profession, my home would be littered in ash and pizza boxes, with the dishes crusted and piled. one time i found a rotted piece of raw salmon on the floor. i wheezed on staircases. i don’t want to tell u all this, but i’m trying to be honest here.

...

i appreciate that Wallace opens the discussion of addiction w people who have problems w weed (Ken Erdedy, Kate Gompert), which is p benign as far as drugs go. it’s a brilliant rhetorical strategy. it makes it easier to accept one of his premises in IJ: that it doesn’t matter what the thing is; if you’re addicted to it, it’s bad and soul shrinking. C.G. Jung said “[e]very form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism,” and that addiction is “the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness.”

me? i’m addicted to STABILITY and maybe an idealized image of what i could or SHOULD be. here’s me in my last year of law school (4/27/14):

Where am I? Place of flux - many moments of deep, true happiness, but @ least the most confused and directionless I’ve ever felt. Unmoored and (unintelligible) and in a fog w/r/t what I do (identity & purpose)

Although the q of who I am is less vexing than it ever has been, in terms of values, if I’m a piece of shit, it’s mostly bc I don’t have a job.

throughout this journal (2013-2014), I tried to exhort myself to take heart, to CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. i found comfort in jotting down lists of potential writing assignments and stories, but nothing ever comes to fruition. i drew and wrote notes, and the art was bad and discouraging. i gave up. i stopped exercising and eating well. i drank to dull pain and find oblivion. at the same time, i focused on work. the job was going v well. but i struggled to snuff out my desire to balance work w art in order to make a life in New York, or rather a living. i know that time isn’t separate from flesh, but i didn’t know it in my body until my phone rang, and it was my dad, and i knew and i ran to the hall and i put on my shoes but there was nowhere to go and i fell to the floor, and across the country Laura was gone.

...

maybe i’m reading Infinite Jest now, six years later, bc when i started reading it, i was in a moment before things became irrevocable. there was a moment when my intuition, my body - was tugging in the direction of love, family, truth. but my desire for a well-defined career path and stability tugged harder. i was motivated by fear. i thought that i was being crazy to change my plans and go home. i needed to go to law school before it was too late, before i ruined any chance of building a stable life, before the money ran out, before time ran out. i’d tend to everything else later. i just needed to focus on getting my life together first. 

time ran out anyway. i guess this all begs the question: why am i not just re-reading the thing, but trying to write about it? maybe i want to write because i’m done bullshitting myself. maybe i just want to learn how to start telling the truth. all i want is a noble skull, like Yorick’s. i want to be an artist, but i’m out of practice. and so i’m going back in time. back to the site of the damage, putting my shoes on, no matter how futile that was and is now.

part II

[followlauren]

Day 313 

Friday December 30, 2016:

Today is day 1 of Ashkan not being here in Shanghai.  Granted its only day 1, but it is going well so far.  We were able to video chat and I got to see a bit of Rotterdam and of Ashkan’s life there.  We also had a pretty good time playing around with the Fb filters….

Later on in the evening I met Issac, who is also going home soon, and we got these nice meat wraps next to the Zhen Ping Lu metro station.  We also of course, had some hong jiu and coke (Isaac’s signature drink) to go with it.  Turns out Isobel, a girl we knew from last semester, was visiting with her family so we went over to her hotel to hang out for a bit and catch up.  We stayed there for a few hours drinking and catching up before heading back to Donghua to meet Yvonne and some of her friends at Maia’s.  Isaac found some weird orange/lemon thing lying on the ground in the street and insisted we bring it with us to the bar.  To our horror and amusement, one of the girls at our table started to peel it and was handing out pieces of it for people to eat.  When she offered some to us we politely declined…

Originally the plan was just to hang out at Maia’s, however, Yvonne and some of her friends decided to go to Revolution.  Although not dressed for clubbing at all (I was wearing Ashkan’s t-shirt), Isaac and I went along with them.  As we were waiting for a taxi we met Kim who was returning to the dorms.  We asked him to join us, and although he wasn’t in the mood, his friend, who we never met before, wanted to come with us.  The three of us finally flagged down a taxi and during the ride over to Revolution I found out that he knows Ashkan.  It was quite weird though how we ended up on that topic.  We were all introducing ourselves and when I mentioned I’m from the US he asked me if I had a boyfriend and if he was from the Netherlands…

Turns out Revolution is a pretty cool club.  It’s not very big, but inside is quite nice and not super packed with people like Fusion is.  Also the majority of people there were foreigners, but a bit older than the college students you would find at other clubs.  It’s a nice place for when you want to party, but not paaaartyy.