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momoliee · 3 years ago

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It’s probably too early for The Meta No One Asked For That I’m Gonna Write Anyway about XQC, alas…here we go

Dr. Xie Qingcheng, 32, male, straight (so far), 180 cm with only one current family member.

Xqc is introduced as a cold, aloof and apathetic retired doctor who has no passions, cares about nothing except for his sister, and unless he’s angry, you can barely get an emotional response out of him.

Through meatbun’s character notes on how he has no favorite food, no favorite color or animal, no personal preferences outside what’s most practical and how he’s very very responsible and rules abiding and honest and sober and serious, and through he yu’s POV that continuously paints him as this heartless cold blooded person, I dare say we were…deceived by this so far shades of gray picture we had of him.

Xqc was born into a finically stable middle class family consisting of two cops for parents and a younger sister that came into the world 8 years after him. When he turned 13, and his sister was only 5 at that time, his parents were fired from their job due to a case they shouldn’t have been investigating going wrong, and they had to move to a rural area. Not long after that, he witnessed both his parents’ deaths and saw their corpses with his own eyes, the site was bloody and there’s no way it didn’t traumatize a pre-teen like him. He then was tasked with taking care of his sister, becoming a doctor despite not wanting to, owing others favors and spending all his money on smth that’s yet to be revealed instead of enjoying it. He got married, not to a woman he loves but to someone whom he thought of as “suitable and appropriate”, got cheated on and went through a divorce before losing full interest in the marriage life. He was finally able to retire (we don’t know why yet) and live a quiet, normal, boring life.

I believe xqc loved his parents, I believe he loved them so much cause in chapter 20, he mentions how he thought he wouldnt be able to live past the grief, he wouldn’t be able to go on or move forward, how the grief completely overtook him. He also mentions how he used to play with knots and handcuffs when he was a child, which shows how close he was to them. So for a child who had a good stable life with two loving parents to suddenly fall from a class to a class, suddenly lose both parents and see their corpses with his own eyes, that must’ve fucked him up big time. I’m talking “when can I fully register all of this” kind of fucked up. But he didn’t have time to fully absorb all of this, didnt have the time to sit down and cry, he had a sister, she was only 5, where will they get the money from? What were they gonna do? How was he going to continue school while caring for her? He didn’t have the time to sit down and grief, to sit down and adjust. For a child who had a normal life and didn’t have to worry much about the money like every other middle class kid, he was suddenly burdened with poverty AND loss, and duty and responsibility. Good bye to the days of playing with handcuffs and knots huh?

You ask me, why does xqc not have a favorite food? I answer you, because many many nights, he didn’t know what to feed his sister, much less himself. Cause I bet that many nights, he would have to give up his portion for Xie Xue, to make sure a kid like her is full. Cause he couldn’t afford to be picky, couldn’t afford to choose; whatever was edible will be eaten, taste and flavor be damned. He had to start working from a young age, balance school, babysitting and working all at once. The last friend he made (I think) was that Chen Man guy whose parents were friends with his parents, back when they were alive and life was good. He didn’t have time to make friends, or go out, or have a favorite color or visit the zoo and decide on a favorite animal. No, he had to study, and study hard to become more financially stable and support Xie Xue, he had to raise his baby sister and protect her, he had to work or else how will he put food on their table? Yet he never lost his soft kind heart, cause when his sister asked for a laptop, he bought her one just so that she wouldn’t feel less than any of the other children.

Xqc had to SURVIVE, he had to make do with what he had and what he didn’t have. He didn’t have time to sit down and cry or process his trauma, didn’t even have time to think of adolescent love or his youthful days or do what kids his age did. And all of that carried forward into his adult life. He pushed his emotions back so hard and had his practical, business like mind take care of everything in order to make it through the days. He started to believe that passionate emotions such as love and hate and lust and desire were all a waste of time, a distraction from his duties, smth that will rock the delicate balance he created with his everyday busy schedule. Emotions will stunt you, emotions will delay you, crying and not going to work today means no food to feed his hungry sister with. That’s when he started thinking, strong emotions are a DISEASE, they will take up your time, cloud your judgement, have you make reckless decisions that you’ll regret later. And he couldn’t afford any of that right? Strong emotions are for the weak, they put you in crutches and disable you from moving forward. Wasnt that what he told his ex wife? If he had submitted himself to his grief back then, where would his sister be? Where would he be? How could they have grown up to be healthy and successful adults?

So this man taught himself practicality and duty and priorities. He stopped thinking about himself, about what he wants and what he feels, and instead started making sure that those around him are happy and content and safe and well taken care of. He no longer had desires or passions, he only had rules and regulations. If a person lost their sense of taste, would they still want chocolates and burgers? Would they still have cravings and foods they’d rather swallow medicine than eat? No. If so, how will they decide on what to eat every day? They’ll simply start following a “perfect nutritional plan” and “balanced diet”. They’d eat what they have to eat, when they have to eat, and in the exact portion they need. To them eating would be another chore they have to do every day to keep their bodies going. Similarly, with xqc, graduating, working, marrying, taking care of his sister and auntie, these all became “tasks” and “chores” that he had to abide by and follow. They became the dietary plan for his life till he dies, the outline he shall follow, the textbook rules he will carry out, no need to think of what he “wants” or “desires”, what will make him “happy” or bring him “joy”. He no longer listened to his emotions when making decisions. Even when marrying his ex wife, he married her cause she was “a suitable match”, not for her looks or personality or anything. Feelings are life’s taste buds, and once you remove them, everything becomes tasteless and mundane, and practicality/logic takes over. He stopped knowing what it felt like to choose based on your preferences, cause he stopped having the luxury of choice ever since that night when he was 13, and he no longer was able to re-teach himself the meaning of free will and choice.

So when he yu, in chapter 20, asked him how he would’ve acted if Xie Xue had died, and he said, “I would’ve continued living as I am today till my last breath,” he wasn’t being “cold” or “heartless” or “indifferent” as he yu likes to say. He was being practical and methodical and thinking with a logical approach, rather than an emotional one, just the way he taught himself to throughout all these years. His almost 2 decades of pure survival mode and severely repressed feelings spoke in the form of autopilot. “I would do what I have to do, what I’ve always done every day of my life so far cause what choice do I have?” Is what he meant to say.

But I believe that he’s a soft hearted, kind and loving person. He never says no his sister, never says no to his auntie, helped that homeless man as best as he could, taught he yu that he was normal and that he wasn’t a monster, believed in treating his patients with words instead of medicine prescriptions, believed that the mentally ill deserve to live normally instead of being locked up. I believe that underneath all the shit he has buried, there’s a lot of passion and love that’s been kept dormant for 19 years.

In conclusion, idk where meatbun is gonna take his character but I genuinely hope he gets to heal, and start having more color and flavor in his life. Start allowing himself to live, not just survive.

#case file compendium #xie qingcheng #bing an ben #meatbun doesn’t eat meat #cfc #bab #meatbun

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stargazetheseries · 3 years ago

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OPEN CASTING CALL FOR STARGAZE: “THE PILOT” EPISODE & TRAILER VISIT: https://stargazetheseries.com/casting-call/ FOR DETAILS OR READ BELOW: A Borken Creative Production Sept 27, 2021 STARGAZE is a queer campy sci-fi adventure short-form adventure series intended for OTT. Executive Producers: Jill Golick, Carrie Cutforth Director: Regan Latimer Writer: Carrie Cutforth Union: ACTRA TORONTO (NEW MEDIA) Shoot: The pilot will begin shooting for 5 to 6 days between October 25-Nov 17th, 2021 Location: Toronto STORYLINE: A disparate group of rookie oddballs join an elite squad commissioned to save the Queerverse (from itself) only to discover the STARGAZE program is a sham make-work initiative to keep the crew from rocking the boat by sending them out on a fool’s quest (led by two elder queer chaperones who despise each other). Think: A 2SLGBTQIA+ The Facts Of Life meets The Breakfast Club in space! *BIPOC STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO APPLY **MUST BE 18+ TO SUBMIT EVEN IF CHARACTER IS LISTED AS YOUNGER THE STARTGAZE RECRUITS: SAF RON (she/her): Character is 20, cisgender woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities; some physical comedy required. LEAD. Mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, Saf joins STARGAZE with high expectations. If the adults won’t save the day, she will… and finally get the credit she deserves! But can this lone wolf learn to connect with others, stop being a control freak, relax her unreasonably high expectations of others (and herself), and step into the leadership role for which she is destined? First, she’ll have to stop seeing anyone getting in her way as a mustache-twirling villain, learn to see her crewmates’ value, accept help, and open herself up vulnerably. Gets apoplectic when mad; Has a knack for creating very convoluted protest chants that no one can follow. WHIT SPRINKLES (he/him): Character is 19, cisgender man, gay, open to all ethnicities. Must be able to walk elegantly in high heels. LEAD. A social media influencer famous for his snarky and bitter ’reads,’ charismatic Whit has developed a parasocial relationship with his stans. Living life performing in the spotlight from a very young age, Whit has no idea who he really is, what his real interests are, or his beliefs outside of what his analytics tell him: “My fans are gonna love this!” Only joining STARGAZE under pressure from his stans, his inability to forge true intimate connections is exacerbated by his relationship with his mother/manager Mumsy Sprinkles, a talentless hack/narcissistic stage mother living her dreams through her kid. If Whit was a meme he would be: ‘Bitch, I dun give a fuck!’ But he does, indeed, give a fuck. ESSA T. HATCH (they/them): Character is 18, non-binary or agender, asexual, demiromantic, neurodivergent, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. Adorkable Essa is an introvert who doesn’t really ‘get’ people. The explorer among the crew with an engineering mind and a love of mapping places and spaces, they know every nook and cranny of the ship and are usually the first to forge ahead (i.e. wander off) on every expedition. Essa mostly wants to be left alone to their own devices because they actually prefer their own company (neurotypicals can be so exhausting!). This normally wouldn’t be such a problem except Essa was pressured to join STARGAZE to make friends and widen their social net out of parental concern (‘We won’t be around forever, Essa!’). Loves to knit, make Venn diagrams of relationships; speaks in emojis when emotionally drained. LEW D’SHUS (he/him): Character is 21, transgender man or transmasculine, pansexual, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. When babelicious Lew looks at you with his rapt attention and dreamy eyes, you feel like the only person in the ‘verse until his short attention span snaps away and he forgets you’re there. “Good vibes, only!” Lew will gladly give you your Tarot card reading, but not before taking the negative cards out first. With his strict ‘the universe is love, we are love,’ mantra, Lew never wants anyone to feel bad even when they are deadass wrong! His philosophy of

appeasement can cause conflict amongst the crew and his inability to take sides in crucial moments will often put them in danger. No, we cannot just hug everything out, Lew! CHRYSTRAH SNU (she/her): Character is 17 (must be 18+ to apply), cis-gender woman, identifies as ‘queer’ but just figuring it all out. LEAD. Chrystrah is a fresh-off-the-belt queer who has arrived with big expectations: ‘I’m here, I’m queer! Direct me to my spot on the rainbow carpet!’ The trauma of her homophobic upbringing has left Chrystrah without any real sense of self; her identity loosely held together like a fragile cracked egg. Any criticism, no matter how gentle, feels like an attack, causing Chrystrah to act abrasive, territorial, and defensive. She is always overcompensating in big bombastic ways because she feels so inadequate for not knowing the right words, behaviours, and codes. She is jealous of Saf (some might say obsessed) who does seem to get it all right. Fiercely loyal, Chrystrah is the first to run headlong into danger to save someone. She has a steep learning curve ahead. THE ELDER QUEER CHAPERONES: BAE TORGA (she/her): Character is late 30’s-early 40’s, cisgender woman, bisexual, bipolar, open to all ethnicities. PRINCIPAL. A war hero (or war criminal depending on who you ask), Bae sees STARGAZE as an opportunity to redeem herself in the eyes of former mentor and friend Oracle Cain. She is someone who struggles with self-loathing and self-doubt even though she’s spent her adulthood righting her past wrongs and reining in her bipolar disorder, which contributed to her past rash and reckless mistakes. Possessing a tough, gruff demeanor, Bae is outwardly sardonic but really a bleeding heart who holds back out of fear that any demonstration of affection and empathy will be seen as a commitment. ORACLE CAIN (she/her): Character is middle-aged or older, transgender woman, ambulatory wheelchair user or wheelchair user, open to all ethnicities. *Note, as this is sci-fi, younger than middle age may apply. PRINCIPAL. A founding figure of the Queerverse, Oracle has done her service, done her duty, and now she’s done. She wants a peaceful existence to guard her limited energy and manage her physical pain. Instead, she’s pulled out of retirement to command a ship full of bickering youths. She also has to contend with spoiled brat and former colleague Bae reminding her of the past that Oracle is trying hard to forget. But duty is duty and it’s not like complaining ever got her anywhere. Talking to Oracle can feel like playing a chess game where the aloof commander is always five steps ahead: you never quite know where you stand with her. ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS ELP WHIPP (they/them or xe/xem): Character is middle-aged or older, gender-fluid, open to all ethnicities. Leader of the coalition of non-profit planets (each with its own conflicting Gay Agenda) that rule the Queerverse, Elp Whipp is a career bureaucrat/bean-counter who often gets caught in the trappings of their own political web — meaning much of nothing ever gets accomplished and progress is never made. Elp will appear throughout the series in that ‘Dean of the school’ role, occasionally showing up to demand overdue reports, warn the crew that their funding is at risk, and generally throw a wrench in the works. CARDIGAN JACK (she/her): Character is 30s, cis-woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities. Cardigan Jack is a ‘pussy-hat’ wearing neo-liberalist feminist with a pirate vibe. She is the ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ of TERFs, and Saf Ron’s nemesis. TO SUBMIT: Borken Creative is committed to diverse and inclusive casting. For every role, please submit qualified performers without regard to disability, race, age, colour, sexual orientation or gender identity, or any other basis prohibited by law, unless otherwise specifically indicated, subject to legitimate casting directives. DEADLINE: Oct 8, 2021 EMAIL: [email protected]. SUBJECT LINE: Character(s) Role, Performer’s First and Last Name, pronouns. BODY OF EMAIL: Please provide contact info including phone number.

Please confirm you are 18 or over in the body of email if applying for a Stargaze recruit character. Submit headshot and resume as attachments to [email protected]. Resume should be in a scannable text file format (such as .doc, .pdf, .txt). First round selects will be invited to submit either a video clip audition or zoom audition invite. Only successful candidates will be contacted.

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#lgbtq #lbtqia #lgbtqplus #queer sci fi #casting call #auditions

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ziracona · 4 years ago

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Sorry if this has been asked before but, I'm really curious about how you would have written Max in the story if he were to be there? He's one of my personal favorite characters and finding redemption stories about him is kinda hard (You have no idea how happy I was when I read Claudette threw him a scarf to stay warm, like yes please; he's a feral child in a killer's body, but please stay warm)

I don’t think I have been, and no problem!

If Max had had a larger role in ILM, I am not 100% sure how I’d have written his perosnality, since I haven’t had to do it yet in-depth, but I know he’d be very angry and both defensive and aggressive towards everything, warry, skittish, hostile. Not bad necessarily, but humans will raise hackles and be ready to lash out and bite if they’ve all they’ve ever known is abuse the same way a mistreated cat or dog would, or like, most any living thing. I think he’s very lonely and unloved, and it’s hard for humans to survive without positive contact and affirmation and physical affection. I mean, if we’re left alone totally, we literally just die. But since his only experience with humans—and his parents/the people who should have loved him most no less—was nothing but danger and abuse and isolation and imprisonment, I think it’d be very hard for him to be approached. Not at all impossible, but man, it is really, really hard to convince someone who’s been through torrential rains of abuse that there’s something else to be given.

I do have ideas on how you could get through, but let me think about personality first. Well, aside from aggressive, defensive, skittish, warry, and hostile, like inborn traits to go along with learned, I think he is a very volatile person. He must be enduring and strong to survive what he did and live, and so determined and tenacious. —Oh! Hang on, big one before I forget. So, I am not a forefront authority in Disability as it relates to narrative, but I know quite a bit and was lucky enough to have a professor whose central areas were Disability, Horror, and Disability in Horror. I don’t know who exactly popularized the idea of Max as having basically a child’s mind in an adult’s killer body, though I think I’ve been told it was one person or story? Maybe it was just a big fandom take. But that’s one of the most prevailing and harmful disability stereotypes, especially for mental disabilities, and horror is a massive offender in general with both disabilities and disorders, and we need to do better & listen to the communities themselves more. I don’t mean this in a harsh way at all—I don’t even know if you meant ‘feral child in a killer’s body’ that way, or meant like, ‘this feral man in a killer’s body is my child TuT’—which is a totally different statement—and even with the former, I know people have had that idea of Max super popularized and are inundated with it, and most people I think just don’t know it’s a very harmful and prevalent stereotype period—I didn’t until I was in my 20s. But I think it’s important to bring attention to it when it’s brought up. Many of the bad things done to people with disabilities come from treating them as not fully actualized humans (I guess I should say ‘us’), and some of those ways are easy to spot, because they’re cruel, and some are harder, because they seem positive. The ‘child mind in an adult body’ is a huge one for disabilities that doesn’t seem awful at first glance, but actually is a huge problem. Unfortunately, human children also get treated by and large as not fully realized humans (as in autonomous & worthy of respect and self-determination—obvs there are some differences that are important, but a child is still an entire ass human & should be respected as such). The painting a physically and mentally disabled character as childlike or mentally trapped as a child is used to control and take autonomy and gravity from our opinions and lives. It’s also just like, not accurate. But the biggest thing is that it takes agency from individuals and paints them as less intelligent, less capable of wanting or pursing more ‘adult’ things [such as jobs or sex or protesting for their rights or having informed opinions on current events and doing something about it], and tries to paint that permanent, life-long dehumanization as a positive thing by making it cute or innofenssive at first glance. While still discounting disabled as kids, passing off autonomy and decisions to their caregivers, and ignoring our status as equal and actualized individuals. Stunted learning or growth or different ways of speaking, moving, and limitations understanding certain things don’t actually make disabled people like children. They’re just adults who sometimes have some very different ways of speaking or thinking or seeming or being. But it’s super important that we’re still adults and like, have the actualized self of adults, even if our speech patterns seem weird. There’s a huge and extremely important difference between an adult with social hangups around sensitive areas and social norms, and being a child. If you didn’t know any of that, don’t feel too bad, again like, people who aren’t disabled almost never talk about disability theory or issues, and I didn’t know this till I was in my 20s. But I feel really bad for Max and bad about how he is usually characterized, so it is important to bring this up.

Okay! That all said, I think personality wise, Max would be really fun to write. Because you have two levels—you have the taught things—fear, aggression, etc, and his inborn perosnality. There is very little canon about Max, but we know he never left home after freeing himself, he steals clothes from scarecrows or whatever he can find, and he’s probably in his early 20s or maybe to his mid 20s now. Since he never left home, I’d think he’s probably a little more cautious and anctious by nature, even with all that rage. I think he’d be sentimental if he ever was given something to love. He must have attachment to things pretty easily, and would I think have liked people a lot because of that, if life had been different. Would have been a shy but friendly and hopeful farm boy. Now, he’s kind of a broken mess, sadly. He’s had it super pounded in by family he is worthless and horrific and disgusting and a monster and an abomination, so I think he expects all humans to take one look and violently feel the same towards him. Taught humans are cruel, and he isn’t safe with them, and the only thing that will stop them and protect himself is unchecked aggression.

So, when it comes to like, getting close enough to him to redeem him, it’s rough, because again, he’d be very very aggressive. I mean, even after killing his parents, he mutilated the animals on the farm in rage, and continued to viciously hurt and then kill anything living he could find on the farm, so he’s got a lot of danger, and he really leaned into violence to protect himself. It’s what he knows now. I think he’s still lonely — like, so lonely he’s sick with it — but unlike Anna and Michael, he’s never known love, so I don’t think he’s even aware of that, and it’s on a pretty subconscious level. Plus, he has even less understanding of human communication and rules and gestures than the other feral killers, so it’d be really hard to get through to him. I think about the only plausible way is really, really, really fuckin slowly, through repeated gifts and kindnesses for no reason (like Claude with the scarf but every day for three years)—the same way you’d try to get through to a feral cat, since like other living things, humans also are wary and mistrustful when hurt, but can be socialized into new situations and do have a pretty set list of gifts and actions we appreciate. I mean, if I was feral, I would start to soften if repeatedly left chocolates and big warm coats and picture books to look at, pretty rocks. I have a crow heart.... >.> Or, the much more likely option, you’d have to catch him or find him captured and helpless, and then be kind instead of doing anything bad at all, and help him for a somewhat extended period of time, nurse him back to health or such, so he’d be forced to actually realize this person isn’t trying to hurt him—they’re trying to help.

I think Max would get less hostile slowly and cautiously because like, if you’ve ever been horribly abused you know you’re afraid to be hurt again. But also, if you’re alone, there’s a battle between wanting some kind of constact and love, and the fear of trying to trust someone only to be brutally torn up again and cast aside. It’s a painful place to be. But I think once he made it over that initial trust hurdle, and could bring himself to stop shuddering at a touch and to believe the person helping him was just trying to give him food, not poison or something to choke on, he’d be absolutely overcome, becuase if you’ve never been shown kindness and then are, overwhelmingly, it’s really hard to process. There’s a lot of psychology stuff about how we form our understandings and processing of each other and the world that I’m not gonna go into much bc convoluted, but it’d be like the opposite weirdly of a Just World break. The realization some things are less awful than your cemented life understanding structure. It would feel wrong and be hard to process (and rewireing a brain takes some time), but he’s been so alone for so long, I think the longing for people would get through, and he would cautiously start to trust and be just bowled over and kind of intimidated by the strength of like, the love and affection and gratitude and belonging he’d start to feel. I think he’d be afraid, becuase it’s not how life is meant to go, and jumpy, but he’d also just be lost to the happiness of actually having some kind of positive human connection, and become fiercely protective of whoever (or whichever people) was/were helping him. Got something he doesn’t want to lose now.

He’s young, so he’s going to still be figuring stuff out, and he had an awful upbringing, so lots of confusion and anger and un-learning too, but I’m really glad you liked that scene!! 😭 and that you like Max too, because he needs more love. I like him a lot too, that’s why he ends up with an undetermined fate instead of, like, dead in ILM. I’d like to give him a fully story role sometime, when there’s more space for it. He’s such a complex and unfortunate guy, he deserves a chance to grow more right and find people who are different and have a better future. TuT. It ain’t fair how his life was.

#ask #anonymous #dead by daylight #the hillbilly #in living memory (fic)#in living memory #max thompson jr #sorry if this didn’t answer all you wanted it was getting so long I was starting to sweat nervously >.>#but hope you enjoy it & the mini introduction to disability theory stuff—it’s super fascinating you should check some of the writing out #sometime! especially since there’s so much history there with horror ahhh now I want to go read...academic writing? gross wtf is wrong with #me TuT I’ve become my own enemy I lived long enough to occasionally wish to read academic papers bleah #*bleah lol

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thatoneblacksheepofthefamily · 4 years ago

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This is my rough draft of a little story called

The Bright Day

It was a bright moring when the old man woke up, he blinked, and slowly rose up from his bed, his bones popping and creaking like a un-greased door. With His dark blue two piece pajamas with little ships on his back, he was ready to battle the day, he lifted his legs, one by one into this wheelchair that called his name, the day he got it, he named the wheelchair Jimmy.

Right as he got right to pulling himself up too the wheelchair, his caretaker bursted inside his room. "RISE AND SHINE MR.MODI, ITS TIME TO GET UP" yelled steven, a bright young man, Mr.Modi never knew why a boy like him would spend his young life taking care of an old fart like himself. But he was also glad he would stay for a while, the young boy looked about in his early 20s, handsome and youth basically radiated off of him. A charming smile, and baby blues for eyes. Its a wonder why the boy took nursing instead of modeling, over the years, Mr.Modi came to see him as his grandson, Not that Mr.Modi would ever tell him.

"if you cared to open you're eyes, you would see that I was already awake" grumbled Mr.Modi with his deep scruffy voice. "Aww but wheres the fun in that?" pouted Steven, his fluffy curly white hair bouncing as he talked in a animated way, Steven was as hyper as there is as many stars in the sky, its pointless to count

Steven was always a chatter box, so it wasn't a surprise when he chatted although out the routine of theirs, get up at 12, eat at 12:20, and go with the flow of the day. Mr.Modi's saying of the day, go with the winds.

Mr.Modi lived in a secluded area of land far from technology and people, his Neighbors? He doesn't have any in a 100 mile radius.

When Mr.Modi married his wife, Kara, they wanted to live in solitude, they wanted many children. They waited and waited, but they never came. Kara then became sick, when they went to the hospital, she was diagnosed with cancer and by the time they noticed, it was already at stage 3. She died 6 months later.

His wife loved all animals, so he tamed all the animals in his area. Now his house looks part of the snowy woods.

Steven came to him in the 2000s, the PTSD was to much, and he called for a helper, the Vietnam war made him paralyzed from the waist down. His body may still be in the present time, but his mind is still in the battlefield.

"So, Mr.Modi, what shall we do this beautiful evening?" said Steven, his smile brightened up the room, Mr.Modi had to close his eyes for a second before anything, 'too....bright...' thought Mr.Modi.

Moments flew by as he thought, should they stay inside? Or finally adventure into the wilderness called the city?

Right as he thought that, Steven spoke out, as if reading Mr.Modi's mind, "I think its time to see the outside for once, all You've done is stay inside, lets get some fresh air shall we?" Steven then ignored the grumbles of Mr.Modi as he undressed the old man out of his ship pajamas and into black khakis, a white collerd shirt with a silk black bowtie, and brown suspenders, and Oxford black, steel toe shoes to go with it.

Steven had a black hoodie that said 'my ancestors are smiling down upon me Imperials can you say the same?' Mr.Modi looked at the saying in confusion, all Steven had to say was, "you wouldn't get it"

He then wore some loved,worn out Black tennis shoes to match his pants.

when they rolled down to the truck, Steven gently put Mr.Modi in the front seat. And tucked him in with the seatbelt, closed the door and went to put up the wheelchair.

Mr.Modi thought real hard about if he should bring an animal with him, a bird? Or maybe a bear? When Steven came in the car, and turned on the ignition, Mr.Modi asked the question that was on his mind. Steven laughed, "you would want to bring a bear to the city? Nope, we are not doing that, how about the bird? Who would you like to bring today?" Mr.Modi thought for bit, before saying "perhaps fluffybuns?" Steven looked at him, his baby blue eyes said 'really?' and Mr.Modi looked back with puppy eyes.

After a few minutes of a staring contest. Steven sighed a very big 'Oh my god' sigh and stepped out of the truck and into the woods.

Moments later, Steven came out with fluffybuns. A Shoebill, a very dangerous species of bird. Or at least, to other species, Shoebill storks are very docile with humans. Researchers studying these birds have been able to come within 6 feet of a shoebill stork on its nest. The shoebill stork will not threaten humans, but will only stare right back at them.

After Steven gave Mr.Modi Fluffybuns, they set of onto a journey. The journey to the city.

CHAPTER 2

Before they even made it into the city, they could hear the noise a mile away.

" Reminded me why we wanted to go the city?" Mr.Modi's gruff voice could be barely heard over the loud heavy death metal. Steven glance at Mr.Modi, and shot him a grin.

Mr.Modi rolled his eyes and grumbled. Next thing he knew, Steven gently dragged Mr.Modi onto his wheelchair. They first stopped for coffee at Starbucks. Because "Just because we're here on official business does not mean we can't have extra stops" said Steve as he rolled Mr.Modi disabled staircase, or how Steven called them "The slippy Slide of death"

Steven then opened the door and pushed Mr.Modi in, with a frown on Mr.Modi and a shining grin on Steven's face. They made a odd of friends.

when Steven came to the front counter with Mr.Modi, the person who took there order was a plain young girl, it looked like she hadn't slept in ages.

While Steven ordered his drink, Mr.Modi looked at a window to his left, and saw a shady black van pull up, men rushed into the Starbucks, and started to shoot. Steven yelped and tried to shield Mr.Modi.

It had seemed as if time slowed down, Mr.Modi could almost see the bullets pass him.

It was time.

He saw a bullet head straight to Steven,

and with strength he had never thought he had. His heart pounding, legs shaking, pushed up from his wheelchair and pushed Steven out of the way.

Before Steven even knew what happened, Mr.Modi was bleeding out from a bullet shot to the chest. The scream the came out of Stevens mouth was horrible. it was if the sadnesses and anger came alive through his scream.

Steven dragged Mr.Modi behind some seats and placed pressure on the wound. His hand was shaking with shock of what just happended. Tears started to cloud his eyes as he saw his grandfather figure dying right infront of him. And there nothing he could do.

"don't leave me" Steven whispered, his hand covered of the blood of Mr.Modi, Steven's crying became louder and louder the more Mr.Modi looked close to dying.

"my..boy...." Mr.Modi whispered "save your strength Mr.Modi, please, your going to be ok" Steven whispered back. By now the territories have left the scene and police are on there way. "I'm.....not...gonna..make...it" whispered Mr.Modi as he shakily raised his hand and placed it on Steve's cheek. Whimpers and muffled crys escaped Steves mouth, his right hand raised up to cluch Mr.Modi's hand and his left hand covering his mouth. "its...My..time..to..go...you were always....like a grandson...to..me" said Mr.Modi weakly, he could feel his minutes were numbered. He could feel the darkness creaping in.

"Steven...Can you sing me a lullaby?" whispered Mr.Modi, Steven laughed, his tears came like a waterfall "of course, anything for you.."

" You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy,

If you will only say the same.

But if you leave me and love another,

You'll regret it all some day:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

You told me once, dear, you really loved me

And no one else could come between.

But not you've left me and love another;

You have shattered all of my dreams:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please

don't

take

sunshine

away"

5:24PM is the time Mr.Modi passed away, and he left Steven with his will, he left Steven with his money,house, and everything he had once owned.

Steven went to college again and got a Doctorate degree in nursing. At the age of 30, he had adopted 5 kids, And told them about Mr.Modi, about the storys Mr.Modi told him, and the journeys they had.

At the age of 80, he died in peace, surrounded by his loved ones, while Mr.Modi did not, while Steven had a peaceful death, Mr.Modi did not.

#Sad #disabled #Death #Happy beginnings #Short story

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sylvieons · 5 years ago

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End of the year survey, of course

Song of the year? According to last.fm, it's Endless War by Within Temptation which seems pretty accurate. I regret that I skipped out on WT's concert. It was supposed to snow and I felt terrible mental health-wise, but I should have just went because I've been trying to do things even if feel terrible, because staying at home is not going to help and I refuse to be beaten down. But I don't always succeed. I'M FIGHTING AN ENDLESS WAR.

Album of the year? Lover by Taylor Swift. Ever since 1989 was released I go through this thing where I can't listen anything but her new album. It got super bad this year, though, and I haven't really listened to anything but TS since it was released. I thought it was my new favorite album of hers but after sitting in this spiral for long enough, I think Reputation is my favorite followed by Lover. But Lover gave me Death by a Thousand Cuts which NO OTHER ALBUMS DID so. Thanks, Lover.

Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? I don't think I started listening to anyone new this year. The closest I can get is a band called Thy Art is Murder, which is apparently deathcore, which is a genre I've never listened to before, so that's nice, but I haven't listened to them much at all.

Movie of the year? Eh, I looked at the list of movies I watched this year and nothing stood out. The closest I can get to answering this question is recommending the movie Crush the Skull as a much better alternative to Don't Breathe, if you're into horror/home invasion kind of movies

TV show of the year? I haven't really watched much television this year. I just haven't been in the mood. I did rewatch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and a lot of that was when I was on vacation in London. I'd get back to my room and have my dinner and watch Sunny. Exciting times across the sea. But I guess overall, I'd say Good Girls. It was one of the few drama shows I watched this year and it was amazing. This was also the year I discovered Buzzfeed Unsolved, but that's not really a TV show. But it deserves a mention.

Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you? Can't say there is one.

Favorite actor of the year? Tom Hiddleston. Does anyone doubt the answer to this one. I saw him on stage four times, because I'm an excessive bitch. I met him at Comic Con and he winked at me and no, I won't stop talking about that ever. And if I ever dare forget him, I have his autograph on my phone case so I'm reminded of his existence at all times whether I like it or not (I like it).

Game of the year? None. I don't game. Nor do I play board games. Nor do I play games on my phone. I am very much not a game person. OH WAIT. I lied. I picked up Pokemon Go again because my friend is super into it and kept taking me to places to do gym battles and stuff.

Best month for you this year? June. May-Juneish. That's the time I went to London, my mom was doing relatively well, and I just like that time of year. The weather is usually perfect.

Something that made you cry this year? Taylor Swift's song "Soon You'll Get Better". It punched me so hard it broke several ribs. I've never identified with a song before but I did that one and I'd really love to sue Taylor for emotional damage.

Something you want to do again next year? Go to the haunted farm thing I went to this year around Halloween. I love that place. I went two years ago and this year, and it's like a mile long thing set up on a farm that you walk through and it's just so well done. Both times I've enjoyed the hell out of myself and enjoyed the company I was with.

I'd also really love to see Kamelot again, if they decide they want to keep touring, though I'm sure they're going to chill. Them or Avatar, same deal. I've seen Kamelot three times and Avatar twice but is it enough? No.

Talk about a new friend you made this year I have not made any new friends. Do you know how hard it is to make friends. I did, however, meet @phantomdivine in person, so that was a friendship escalation.

How was your birthday this year? It's in February and Februarys are usually a blur of me having mental breakdowns. I have a distinct memory last year of driving home from my friend's house in the middle of night on the anniversary of my father's death, crying like a little bitch and being like "why am I crying" while I was smoking (I don't smoke except for when I smoke) and getting gutpunched every time the line "the good die young" came up on the Within Temptation song I was listening to. That was right around my birthday so that's probably how it was.

Favorite book you read this year? Maybe What Was She Thinking? (Notes on a Scandal) by Zoë Heller. I read 20 books this year and I usually read zero! Go me! I also read Gone Girl finally, because I've read Gillian Flynn's other books, and I always enjoy her and her writing. The quality of writing is important to me, so I will read any plot if the writing intrigues me.

What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? How dare you suggest I have a bad habit

Post a picture from the beginning of the year

A feral kitty that lives in a broken down building near the antique shop I consign with

Post a picture from the end of the year

It Hozier

A memorable meal this year? I'm a big food person but I've been on a diet for a good part of the year. Which has kind of left me...a disinterested in food person.

What’re you excited about for next year? Uhhh. I have nothing planned, so I don't know. Hopefully getting on Social Security Disability, because the whole process is stressing me out and my lawyer said it can take a year and I just really do not have time for this.

What’s something you learned this year? It's not something I -learned-, but something I accomplished. I started running, something I've tried to do in starts and stops over the years. I used to be unable to run 30 seconds without getting out of breath and getting stomach cramps and feeling like I was going to die. Now I can run a 5k. I usually don't run this far, though, because I still have trouble breathing and I need to work on that, so I usually run about 30 minutes when I go out. I've been thwarted lately but it getting dark so early so I haven't been able to go out as much as I did (unless I want to get murdered, I guess).

What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? I hung up my signed Only Lovers Left Alive poster :')

Favorite place you visited this year? London, baby. I'm so happy I loved it so much. I was looking at pictures the other day and got a little teary eyed, which is the normal person equivalent of actually crying. I don't know if it's London itself or what it represented to me (probably both), but I love it and want to go back and have vague, tentative plans to stay there for two or three months in the future if I can.

If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? You're gonna meet Tom Hiddleston, bitch, and he's gonna WINK at you.

Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I do not. I reinvent my life whenever I feel like it.

Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one You don't want the answer to this one because I will go off for an hour and no1curr, as they used to say.

#about meme

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mythologymonsterlover · 6 years ago

Text

CWXH lover (pt.1)

...I thought of this while reading, and after watching the Netflix show Love, Death, and Robots. It definitely influenced this character I made, and I hope you like it!

warning: cussing

female reader X female monster

When I was younger, I looked up to my father’s creation he made. It was the beginning of a new era of science, and god, it was incredible. My father was the first of few scientist to actually make a full functional cyborg human being. He was working with a man that was in a war in Afghanistan and got his legs blown off; his name was Mike. He was a respected man among the military, but after the incident, his life spiraled into a dark hole. He was forgotten, and was ready to end his life. My father did not give up on Mike however, and promised Mike he would make him better, happier. It took many years of accidents and fall backs in my father’s research, but he kept his word to Mike and gave him a new pair of functional legs. They were so well made to connect to the neurons in Mike’s legs, that they were just as good as the real thing, maybe even better. After that day, many other scientist that also made a breakthrough with merging robotic to organic life were prized for their new creations. This caused my father to become famous, and not show up to our home for many days..or even months. I was left usually to make dinner myself, do my homework myself, and get to school myself. I understand that he could not be their for his daughter that much anymore, and I never once cried or bugged him about it. No, I honestly bottled it up inside and allowed myself to feel the loneliness. When I was fourteen though, that's when it everything felt too real. I just got home and turned on my TV, just to see a news anchor reporting a shooting at my father's company. I prayed so hard that my father was alright, but it was too good to be true. A picture of my father, and many other victims who had been confirmed dead, popped up on my TV screen. To recall all my emotions I felt when he was not going to be in my life anymore, Is too hard to recall. Not that I forgot them, but my mind became so numb after that, I didn’t let myself feel much of anything.

As my youthful years of being fourteen to an eighteen year old girl passed, I had one of my fathers maids take me in as her own. She provided for me as I went to private schools to get the most elite education on science and technology. I asked to focus on these electives the most because when I was born, It was all I ever heard my father talk about. It was one of the few things that made me feel happy since it reminded me of father. I was a gifted student in these subjects throughout my school years, and when I graduation from the university of technology I knew what I was going to become. I waited for years, and studied for it my whole life, it would be foolish if I chose something else. I entered in as an employee in my father's old company, and worked on making cybernetic life parts for people that needed it most.

Yet my dream died, as so much has changed since then, and instead on focusing on helping the disabled and helpless, the company resources were connected to military projects for the U.S.A. I believe in my father causes more than this, but I didn’t have the nerves to quite. I stayed, and made technological advances for the government to use in war, and for soldiers who wanted “upgrades” on their body. I knew it was becoming common for ordinary people who had nothing wrong with their body to want to become a cyborg. I did many procedures with doctors at military bases on soldiers who wanted to be stronger, faster, and more dangerous. I tried to voice my opinion to the generals about how unsafe this was to do, that putting weapons on men was just gonna cause more wars than peace. They all refused to listen however, and continued to make monsters out of men, and deadlier wars on the concept of achieving power. To say I knew that life would turn out like this would be somewhat true, but to say I wanted it to cause so much death among many people and countries would be a false accusation.

….

Today, in the year 3122, after being in this profession for ten years, I am a woman in her late thirties now. This year also I became the head scientist at the company, and people who come in every day for requests on cyborgs parts or just working in the U.S government know who I am. I heard that this morning I will have a meeting with General Chris, about a new project he wants me and other workers here to make for the military. I already feel tired from hearing about it, since I already know it just another deadly creation he wants me to make for the upcoming war we have with France. Ever since 2289, we become on bad terms with every other country except Mexico and Canada. To be frank, we should just make them apart of the U.S.A now since officially, we are just pissing off every country now a days. I don't let myself get sidetracked by my heated thoughts on politics, since I need to talk to the other scientist about the meeting. I head out of my office carol and head down the hall. I see some of my coworkers and give them a half smile and little, “hello.” Before I speak to the other scientist though, I decide I should make myself some coffee and head to the kitchen. The coffee maker, refrigerator, and microwave are as old as time and been here for god knows how long. I only notice them casually since they are from a different model then the new ones we have today. I guess we keep them around since it makes us look hipster. As I pour some water into the machine, I hear someone walk behind me.

“Oh! Good morning, professor!” Hearing the familiar voice I turn around to see the new rookie coworker named Tomson. He is a young lad and is a bit taller than me. He has black hair and eyes, and reminds me of a puppy wanting to please everyone. I give him a nod of the head, and smile.

“Good morning, Tomson.” as I finished making my coffee I begin to walk past him, but he stops me.

“Ah wait, sorry professor but I need to take you to your meeting now.” I looked at him bewildered as to why he would need to take me to meet up the general, and so early as well. I then think maybe he's confused and has the wrong professor.

“Tomson, I don't have an meeting until 1:20 with General Chris, are you sure you got the right person?” I say kindly and look at my watch to make sure I’m not jumping ahead of myself, and sure enough it says 11:05 so I can’t be mistaken.

“I know, but before the meeting, the General said he wanted to talk to you in private. He asked me to take you to the facility room.” I rise my eyebrow at this, but I just nod and let Tomson lead the way to general Chris. When we finally get their, I can see that the lights are on and that the General is indeed here a couple of hours early. Great, I think to myself, why does it just have to be only me and him? As Tomson opens the door for me then leaves I walk into the room, deciding to sit across from the General.

General Chris gives me a smile while getting up to shake my hand. “Welcome professor, thank you for coming early.” We shake hands and sit down to speak about whatever.

“So General, why call me in so early?”

“Please, just call me Chris, darling.” I nod, feeling myself getting annoyed with this man's flirting behavior. He does this every time, but I swallow my shitty remarks I want to say to his face. He gets up and stands looking out the window, seeming distracted by something.

“Sir? Is everything alright?” I feel myself sweat from being so nervous, hoping that this isn’t bad news. He turn to walk back towards me, and sits down again.

“I’m sorry professor, I was just making sure that she was coming up by now.” I look at him wide eyed, not sure at all what he is talking about.

“Umm, her, sir? Is someone coming up to meet us?”

“Yes! Exactly, I can’t wait for you to meet her, she is a real great cyborg creation!” I get up and walk a little closer to him, sitting to the chair next to him making sure I understand what his saying clearly.

“You...made something all by yourself? A cyborg?”

Yes, and I want you to look her over for me personally, before the other scientist see her as well.”

I gulp down the lump in my throat, not believe that the General, with the little experience his government has with making a cyborg person, would just do that!

“General, why would you do that without our assistance?” I ask, counselling my anger at him for doing that to a person without the right training.

“Now, now, we aren’t replacing your expertise, I was just curious on how far we could go, that’s all.”

I let out a sigh and keep my eyes closed, until a moment later I hear the door open.

“Ah there she is, professor, look!” I brace myself at the creation I’m about to see, and turn my head slowly, opening my eyes.

I see the General has gotten up to stand right to his creation, and when I see her, I’m astonished. She is the most complex but amazing looking cyborg I have ever seen. Her arms and legs, instead of being molded to look human, they have a more animistic look to them. Her arms have strong muscles made out of metal, and are crafted to look wolf-like. Her legs are wolf-like as well, with a metallic shine to them. Her eyes, instead of being human eyes, are wolf. They shine a bright yellow, and are stilted like cat's eyes. She also has a tail and ears, and they both seem connected to her bodies nerves as they twitch and move. The only human part I see is her slim body, face, and black hair that’s shows what little humanity she has left.

“I call her CWXH, meaning: Cyborg Wolf X Human.” The General says with a toothy grin and winks at me.

I get up and stand up to look at her more closely, seeing how everything connects and works on the surface.

“What’s your real name, ma’am?” I ask placing my hand on her shoulder, giving her a smile. However, she doesn’t respond, and just stands their blankly.

“General, she isn’t responding..” I say concerningly but he seems completely calm.

“Yeah, it’s fine, she just had her procedure not too long ago, so she is still trying to adjust.” I look at him suspiciously, but return my attention to her getting a flashlight out to test her vision.

“Follow the light please.” I move the light back and forth, and she follows it. Good, at least she can hear and follow orders. However, it’s still concerning she seems so distant from responding to my questions.

“Is her voice box alright? Is she muted?” The General doesn't answer, and just lets out an exasperated sigh while walking towards me.

“Listen Professor, she is completely alright, she’s just needs a checkup is all, can you do that?” He leans in, eyes wide open and mouth puckered out. I would laugh my ass off at his ridiculous expressions, but keep my professional outlook in check.

“Yes sir, I can, In fact I can take her off your hands after our meeting with the rest of the scientist today.”

He clasps his hands together happily.

“Oh wonderful.” He exclaims and walks while grabbing CWXH by her hand, bringing her to sit down. We had that meeting and the rest of the scientist had a good look at her, many had question who she was before she became a cyborg, but general Chris would only give curt replies, which made me feel uneasy. Eventually, everyone heads out for the night, and I stay with CWXH, looking over her body functions and inner interior. I take her to my lab to run more test, and she lays down on the lab table for me. I speak to her while doing this, and work on my records and files that are due tomorrow for a lab meeting. Even though she doesn't respond to me at all, I enjoy talking to her. It’s been awhile since I could talk to someone like this, and it’s a first for me to feel comfortable with a being in my room meant for war. As I finish up and get ready to leave my lab for the night, I say one last goodbye to her.

“Goodnight CWXH, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I didn’t think she would reply to me of course, but she actually did turn her head up and looks at me. I stand their ready to hear her say something for the first time, anticipation burning in me. We stare at each other for a moment, until sadly, she turns her head away. I feel disappointed, and shutting the door behind me, I leave her sitting on my lab table.

When I enter my lap the next morning, I see CWXH standing over my plants, examining them.

“Good morning CWXH, how are you feeling today?” She turns her head to me, and surprisingly makes a nod gesture at me. I smile from seeing her doing a little better on her commutation, and thoughtful the day again I examined her inner and outer exterior of her cyborg parts. In Chris notes, he wrote that he gave CWXH the design of wolf arms and legs to better help her move and attack in a battlefield setting. Remarkably, even her tail, eyes, and ears play a part in how her new advanced body works. The tail helps her keep balance like most animals have tails for, eyes are nocturnal and more sharper in vision, and ears can hear up to an 10 mile radius. She is so advanced in technological invention in today's society, she excels in my father’s creations even. This is incredible, but also extremely terrify. Even in my fear though I have this small hope that she, CWXH, will not go rapid like so many that had the same type of intense power.

“Professor…” I was in intense thoughts, that I didn’t even pay attention to the small voice trying to speak to me.

“Professor.” This time, I do hear the voice more clearly and find the source. Their, I look down to see CWXH looking up at me. I was working on her arm at the minute, but stop what I’m doing.

“O-oh, yes CWXH, did you say something?”

She nods her head once and start to move to get up. I let go of her arm and her as well, making sure I give her space. This is the first time she spoke, so it must be important. She walks up to my small refrigerator and pulls out a bottled water, taking a drink.

“Are you alright?” I ask, nervous if I did something wrong. She drinks the entire bottle, throws it in the trash, and leans on the counter.

“..Yes, I’m fine.” She say with a raspy, but angelic voice. I feel relieved about that, and I decided to ask her something else since she’s talking now.

“Do you have a name, besides CWXH?” She looks at me responsively, and walks back to the lab table to sit next to me.

“Yeah, I probably did..” she says bitterly, closing her eyes.

“You don’t remember?” I asked surprised, and even concernedly since I didn’t see she had brain problems in her file.

Her yellow eyes glares at me once, almost looking hurt by what I said.

Oh shit, wrong thing to say.

“I’m sorry! I just didn’t know, my bad.” I say sincerely, hoping she isn’t mad at me. Yet her face does soften from my apology, and shakes her head.

“N-no it’s fine professor, I just don’t feel like myself is all. I didn’t mean to be so...sensitive.” I understand what she is saying, and I pat her shoulder to reassure CWXH that it’s alright. After a couple of more weeks of testing her body, I hear unexpected news from General Chris. He tells me if I really wanted to, I could actually keep her as my assistant? I call him immediately, trying to grasp why the hell he would say that. It turned into a very heated, and even argumentative discussion. He said pretty much said that CWXH was a prototype all along, and that he wasn’t planning on putting her on the field. He just wanted me to study her, and make sure that she turned out fine with their resources. I tell him yes and no, since it did do a lot of mental damage to her memory. This lead to the heated argument part, where I told him what I really felt about him doing this, and pretty much called him a dumb shit. In the end, he hanged up like a baby because he wasn’t able to handle the truth, and I felt bad for CWXH since to him, she was nothing. Of course I knew my Agency would be upset with how I spoke to the general, but I felt like myself again when I told him off. I felt like the eighteen year old girl who wanted to help, not cause pain with using cyborg life.

I was really relieved that she would not be put on a battlefield after thinking about it for a moment, but also conflicted on how she would feel about it. As I come from my office to my lab to see her, I gently knock on the door.

“I got a call from Chris today about you..” I say smoothly as her animistic eyes shine my reflection in them when she opens the door. She blinks once and nods.

“I see...Do I need to leave?” She asked almost robotically, not showing any emotions on her face.

I bite my lip and take a deep breath, wanting to so badly say the right thing. I come in and sit at the lap table

“He reported to me that...you won’t go into war.” She looks confused and stands up to tower over me. Her tail swishing back and forth.

“What do you mean professor?” I pat her arm, and get her to sit down next to me. I can tell she is getting nervous, and I don’t blame her.

“He said...you were a prototype, that you were assigned as the candidate because you willingly do the procedure for the income raise.”

I hang my head low, not ready to see her anguish face from knowing that she, a soldier, was just a test dummy for her fellow comrades. Yet I did not hear anger or cries of sadness, but instead felt her arms hold onto me close.

“I see.” She says calmly and when I pull back to look at her, I see joy.

“Are you really alright?” I asked, hoping she isn’t covering it up, but she nods and embraces me again.

“I do not want to kill people, professor...” she says though her choking voice, and soon, CWXH lets her tears fall down onto my coat. I hold her back tightly, so glad she wasn’t put into a bloody war as well.

#female reader #reader/monster #girl reader x monster #interspecies couple #cyborg lover #cyborg girl #monster lover #monster girlfriend #exophilia

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nacsygen · 6 years ago

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i was going to go on a further rant about how i wish i didn’t know as much as i do about ww2 but y’all don’t need that, writing it out and deleting it was enough. i’ll just say there was a big difference between growing up with the narrative “nazis were evil, we were the good guys, and it’s very sad that your grandfather died on the beaches of normandy without ever meeting your not-yet-born father but he died a Hero so it’s okay,” and then growing up and reading appallingly realistic and detailed descriptions of the firebombing of dresden and other german civilian cities by the allies, and - and - you know what yeah maybe writing it out and deleting it wasn’t enough bc now i’m dwelling on atrocities again, and the void’s giving me a speculative eye. i’ll stop.

i think maybe it is the difference between my grandfather dying a hero (posthumous medal of honor and everything) and my father living as a murderer for having the same damn job. my father lied about his age very early on in the vietnam war so that he could enlist with his older friends, because he was an impressionable 16-year old idiot (who’d started drinking at 15) who wanted to go off on an adventure with his friends to the other side of the world, and maybe end up like a war hero like his sainted forever-22 father. maybe hoping he could be something more than the ever-worse sequence of deadbeat/abusive stepdads his increasingly depressed and alcoholic mother brought in to futilely try and replace the lost love of her life. to be better for and also get away from a whole bunch of half-brothers and sisters that he was never really suited to be the oldest brother they needed him to be, who he still did his best to shield from the various violent men in their life, with the backdrop of a mother too drawn into herself to intervene. and my father was always a stocky and strongly-built man, but he never grew to more than 5′4″.

so at 16 years old, in 1962, they shipped him off to vietnam to become a jarhead and, when they saw his skills on the range (skills my brother and i share, so maybe it is kinda innate), they put him into training to become a full scout sniper. yeah, like in Jarhead, except in a real on-the-ground combat war. he was in the war for a lot longer than a draftee - maybe five, six, even seven years. it was good for him, the regimentation, the control. he liked it. he needed it. he’d never had it before. it was good for him. i remember asking my dad once, and i remember it very clearly. it had to have been either before my parents got divorced, so i would have been maybe six or seven, or one of the few occasions after i saw him before he moved to jamaica for a few years, so maybe nine or ten. i think it was more like seven, though. by this time my father was on 100% disability from the VA due to PTSD and in maybe the worst of his alcoholism. but i asked him once while watching him work on a job in the sweet florida sun, with me having just enough of a grasp of knowing what the vietnam war was, what war was, and that he’d been in it, “daddy, did you ever kill anybody in vietnam?” and he laughed and said “yeah, quite a few people. it was my childhood that really fucked me up, though.”

and understand that apart from that last part, which is one of my earliest very clear memories (and how fucked up is that?) this whole narrative, i’ve put together from bits and pieces of information over the years from both parents, and knowing how similar to our core my father and i are. it’s a big part of why we haven’t talked in going on five years, bc as sad as this all paints him to have as an origin story, he’s still ultimately an asshole who doesn’t know how to deal with feelings and turns everything into a fight (bc, again, became an alcoholic at 15, got worse and worse, and didn’t get dry until his late 40s and was pushed into a swift divorce with two young children involved). i understand him at his core because we have always, my whole life, been too similar in all our worst ways, and some of the good ones too. but i still feel great empathy for the 16 year old boy with one drunk neglectful, distant, incredible at times mother and a series of abusive alcoholic not-dads and a stream of half-siblings, with the legend of his heroic, wonderful, brave orphan hard worker forever-22 father hanging over his head literally since he was born. and then he went to war, like his father did. he killed enemies, like his father did. he earned medals, like his father did - my father has a purple heart from both physical and psychological wounds, he has a gold star and a silver star from saving his brothers in arms from dying at the hands of the enemy. and he came back from the war to be treated not as a hero, but to be branded as a murderer in an unjust conflict, a living symbol of national shame. that shit sticks with you. i know it has for him for fifty long years.

upon getting home, he immediately grew his hair and beard out (not unlike how my brother does when on leave, but granted, for both it happens within a couple days of not shaving) and went straight back into commercial art, pinstriping, sign-painting and cartoonery back in the ‘70s, which is when he met my mother (who was 11 years younger than him but still technically his boss, and told him she was a lesbian when he first flirted with her, but then they ended up together 20 years) and the rest is history. i’ve inherited from him an addictive personality - my grandmother (who herself died of a heart attack just before i was born, only in her 60s), my father, my brother and i have alcoholism. and sometimes, really, i feel like i’ve inherited his trauma too, his trauma from the always-there presence of his father’s death, his abusive childhood trauma, his war trauma. i feel like maybe my brother, who’s way more chill than me but also joined the military at a young age and now classes himself as a binge alcoholic, inherited at least some of the trauma too. and yeah, my brother’s never killed anybody, but he fixes the planes that drop the strikes and has for a decade, and it weighs on him. he and i don’t talk often for a pair of siblings that were once as close as twins, but we’ve occasionally had long, very late night inter-continental skype talks where we talk about this stuff. talk about how our mom found healing in our stepdad, who was also in the military but never killed anybody, and was maybe gruff and rough with us growing up but never abusive like our dad had the potential to be when he was drinking, or like his own father, who served under patton, was to him. talk about how we respect that he refused as much as he could to continue the pattern of abuse. talk about how my dad and i are too similar in our core nature to ever really get along, even though our traumas are different, but there all the same.

the part of me that’s from my mom’s upbringing (and she’s alluded to having quite a few alcoholics in her family too) wants to spit at this man, get the fuck over it! it’s in the past! but that part of me lead to me not getting proper treatment for my mental health until i was 25. so maybe, for once, my mom’s not right about everything. for once.

if this was a proper thought-out treatise, this would be a great final pragraph to sum up everything above in a beautiful way. but it’s not. it’s me working things out as much to myself as for anyone else. quite a few things in this i hadn’t even realized were so obvious until my brain typed them out as i thought about them. it almost makes me want to talk to my dad again. yeah, my dad’s alive, he’s in his mid-70s bc he was in his late 40s when i was born, and he’s been an old man since his 40s but he’s also probably gonna live well into his 90s. but he’s also like. such an asshole, you guys. (again, mental maturity of a 15 year old). i’m also an asshole. we’re too similar in the exact same way we’re assholes. since i was 16 years old, talking to him on the phone bc i really did want to talk to my dad, pacing around my old room and getting increasingly agitated, he always goads me into a fight. it’s not enough for him to be happy, it’s not enough for him to be friendly, he can’t be sweet unless it’s for a passive aggressive bit. and i won’t put up with his shit the way my very sweet (and god knows where he got it) brother does. generational trauma! lachaim!

#sorry to everybody who's followed me not knowing i occasionally go into for-real diary entries/treatises #long post #t #what is a proper blog only 33 people follow if not to be a journal

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sophygurl · 6 years ago

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Thoughts for National Coming Out Day in this year of our lord twentyGAYteen:

1. When I was a teenager, I knew I was straight. In my 20′s, I knew I was bi. In my 30′s, I knew I was pan. I’m in my 40′s now and it’s gotten complex.

I’m non-mono romantically and sexually attracted, as in I have attraction to multiple genders.

But I’m also suspecting more and more that I fall on the ace spectrum along the lines of akoisexual. I experience attraction, I like the idea of dating and relationships, but I don’t like the feeling of being attracted to, and the reality of dating or sex or being in a relationship feels yucky to me. Some of this might be due to PTSD stuff and/or other medical reasons. But it also might just be who I am. It could be a combo of both. Whatever the case, I’m cool being single.

I’m also poly, and I know not everyone thinks polyamory belongs under the queer/lgbtetc. umbrella, but for me it most definitely fits as part of my overall orientation and identity. When I was dating, I did mono or poly relating equally, but FELT poly whichever I was doing. And as a singleton now, I still FEEL poly. It’s important to me. And my platonic life partners still feel like a poly community to me. We have each other in ways that significant others do but just minus the sex and romance.

I’m also genderqueer, and I’ve thought a lot about what that means to me individually. I don’t consider myself trans or non-binary. There’s a lot of complicated and personal reasons why that is the case for me, but it ends up sounding like gatekeeping because other people might share similarities to my situation but do consider themselves trans and/or enby, so we’ll just leave it as - it’s just how I personally do and don’t identify. I feel that I have a multiplicity of gender, including feminine and masculine both. But I am also very comfortable with my assigned bio sex as female. It’s my gender that’s queer - not my sex. For some people it’s the other way around, or both.

All of this is long-winded and complex, and so much easier summed up as queer, so mostly I just go with queer. Also because apparently queer is having to be re-reclaimed these days which pisses me off so I’m just gonna use the word queer as often as possible. Queer. Queer. Queer!

2. I’m out, open, proud, and loud about my identities. This is mostly because I’m just an obnoxious self-discloser in general and will tell anyone anything about myself at the slightest provocation.

BUT Also, I do think it is very important for the people who can and want to be out to do so. Someone has to answer questions and challenge norms and be an example to young folk and make all this shit visible and normalized. And since I have no qualms about being out, I am happy to do these things for the folks who can’t or just choose not to. Because that shit is valid as hell, too.

There are so many many reasons why someone might not feel safe to come out, or ready to come out, or not want to come out fully, or might just want to come out to some people and not others, or might want to come out about some aspects of their identities and not others, or might want to be fully out but not be bugged or questioned about it beyond stating what is true about themselves, etc. All of that is valid.

But I’m here and openly queer and ready to talk about it. So feel free to ask me about my queerness. (This goes for other shit in my life, too. For example, I will answer questions about my chronic illnesses or my mental illnesses or about living on disability benefits or about being an abuse survivor or about my favorite books or my cats or whatever the fuck.)

Leave the people who want their privacy alone. But I’m someone you can come at, as long as you’re polite and respectful about it.

3. My coming out stories are kinda weird. Because my life has been kinda weird. So like, my dad came out to me when I was around 10 and my parents were splitting up. It came out along with a whole bunch of other stuff about the dysfunctional aspects of my parent’s marriage and some wrong things my dad did which is maybe the one thing I won’t talk publicly about yet because it’s not really my story to tell but I do talk about it privately. But so anyway. Yea.

My parents split up, my dad came out as gay and left the ministry as a result, and he moved out of town. This was in the mid-80′s in a conservative area of the midwest, so it was not a thing that was talked about publicly. I did not tell any of my friends for years. One friend found out by snooping through my things and then told me. Another friend and I got talking because he had a gay older brother and we were safe people to talk to about this thing (it later turned out we were both queer too but I sure didn’t know back then and I think he was probably in early figuring it out stages himself at the time).

I didn’t tell anyone else until I got to college. Not even my bestest friend knew. So first things first - I had to come out about my dad being gay.

I didn’t personally have an issue with my dad’s gayness. I just knew other people were likely to, and I was being actively bullied by half the student body already and if this secret came out it would just have given them more fodder, so I kept it in. Turns out, some of my friends had figured it out anyway and were fine with it. And all of my friends were great about it once they were told.

But not only was my dad gay, but my parents were very liberal and we had family friends who were gay, and my parents talked openly with me about trans people and intersex people and many other things so it was not an issue for me. I used to sometimes wonder if I might be gay and then go, nope, I like boys too much! lol

So then I got to college. And met and befriended people who were bisexual or at least bi-curious and it got me thinking... and one day while out thinking I caught myself watching a woman’s butt wiggling as she walked in front of me, and I realized that I enjoyed watching such things a lot, and the lightbulb clicked on like ooohhhhhhh I’m bisexual!

My friends who were fine about my dad being gay were equally fine about my bisexuality. I mean, listen, some of them were conservative Christians who believed I was probably going to end up in hell some day - but they probably thought that about me before this realization for other reasons anyway - and they still loved and accepted me as a person, which is what mattered to me. I was a little worried to tell my dad because I knew not all gay people accepted bi people, but he was fine about it.

The funny part was my mom. When I went off to college, my mom started doing as much self-exploration as I was doing. So we kept coming to the same realizations around the same time. Bisexuality, polyamory, Unitarian Universalism, etc. It was like - I discovered this new thing about myself ... oh yea, me too! lol

I’ve never had a negative coming out experience with anyone I actually care about. I’ve had strangers or casual acquaintances on the internet react badly, but that shit doesn’t bother me.

I know I am incredibly lucky - both in how easy it’s been for me to figure out and accept my own identities, and in how easy it’s been for the people in my life to accept them and me. I remember I told my bestest friend about my bisexuality when I had just broken up with my first partner - a guy - and was heart broken and going to come live with her for a little bit until I got my life sorted back out a bit. I wanted her to know, in case I started to date a woman. But I also didn’t want her to worry about the whole living in the same space thing, so I assured her I wasn’t attracted to her in that way. She very comically asked me why, wasn’t she attractive enough, and acted offended, which was just the perfect reaction and I will love her forever for that.

Not only have I never had a bad coming out experience, but I know that my coming out has directly helped others to come to terms with their identities, and has helped to educate open minded but unaware allies about lots of things. So I am very fortunate.

And this is a huge part of why I can so easily and comfortably be out and proud. Not everyone gets to have the experiences that I’ve had. So if there is anything I can do to pay this shit forward and be there for other queer folk, I’m gonna always do it.

I’m here and I’m safe to come out to. I will hold your secret as confidential. I will help you open up about it if that’s your desire. I will support you as you question and figure shit out. I will help you find resources. I will believe you. I will accept you. I will help raise your voice. I will be your voice if you can’t speak up for yourself. I will fight off your bullies. I will field your ridiculous questions. I will listen. I will hear you. I will tell you that you are not alone.

#national coming out day #coming out day #coming out #queerness #queer

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letsimportanttreecollection-blog · 6 years ago

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I have heard that insurance goes down once you get married. Is this true? If it is, how much? Is it significan't? Do you have to be married before you turn 25 for this to apply? I have heard so many conflicting answers. Help??..""

Going on my dads car insurance...question?

My dad has Triple A auto insurance ..I do not live with him I am on my own in my own house, I never ask my family for help. But right now my tabs are expired and since I am only 20 I cannot afford auto insurance..they want me to put 300 down just for no fault and I think its ridiculous, Right now I dont have 300 dollars either so I asked my dad if he could help me out temporarily and put me on his car insurance ..i have a 98 cavalier so it shouldnt be that bad. its been 2 weeks and he keeps saying hes talking to the agent after tomorrow I can no longer drive my car because my tabs say march and april is comming up, I told him I would pay whatever costs to add me on it and whatever he needed a month. I was just wondering if they charge extra to add me on his insurance and my car or is he just making it up because I dont think It should take that long...like I said I am living on my own have never lived with my dad because he was in jail for a long time, moved out when i was 18 and can't get help from my mom or him,,I cant even ask to borrow money from them yet I can loan my dad 200 dollars. Feel like its so wrong, I think im doing pretty good being 20 years old working full time owning a house my own car that I bought myself and going to school...and Im having my first child.""

Car insurance question.?

Basically, I am hoping to pass my test this October. I am 20, and am looking to be insured on my dads car. He has a 7 seater Mitsubishi Spacewagon. It is now worth about 9,000. I was wondering if anyone knew ROUGHLY how much insurance may cost? Would it be cheaper to get my own small car and insure it myself rather than being a second driver on a more expensive car? Thank you!!!!""

florida unemployment insurance

Trunk Insurance vs. Car Insurance?

I recently changed cities on my auto insurance going from a Cleveland, OH zip code to an upper middle class Cleveland suburb and my rates fell more than $200/half...I drive a '99 S-10, just a regular pickup truck, I am in the market for a new vehicle and ideally it would be a full size truck (Chevy Silverado or GMC Sierra half ton)...my agent has the exact truck I would like to buy, so I asked him what that truck would be insurance-wise for me. It automatically went back up to what I was originally paying in Cleveland...around $650/6 mos. Other variables of my car purchasing ordeal are that I took a buyout from General Motors and I got a vehicle voucher included in the buyout, so another option for me is to get a Chevy Malibu which I could basically drive off the lot for zero money...I've been reading that sometimes car insurance can be more than insuring a truck, with the information I've provided can someone help me out and estimate if my insurance would be more for a basic/no frills 2011 Chevy Malibu or a 2011 Silverado/Sierra with some bells and whistles...and also, do Insurance companies look at the more options a vehicle has as being more to ensure??? any answers would be appreciated""

""I'm about to shop for auto insurance, but I'm afraid it could hurt me?""

I know that too many inquiries will look bad on a credit report. The guy at my current insurance office said inquiries for auto insurance aren't the same as others and dont bring my credit score down. Im not sure if he's lying or not. The last time I checked my report, I had 2 inquiries on it from when they looked for the best rate for me last time in Sept. He also said they could shop for me (for the best rate) at agencies that dont go off of credit scores . Why are there some agencies that use my credit score and some that don't- whats the difference? Does it affect my score/ look bad in general to have sevral inquiries from auto insurance agencies?""

How much is enterprise car insurance?

Planning on renting a car from the 25th to the 29th

Will my insurance skyrocket after this ticket?

I got my first speeding ticket the other day.. 70 in a 50. I'm 20 and only a few months away from turning 21 (when rates go down a little). I know there are other things that factor in to this but how much can I expect my insurance rates to go up? Should I pay the court fines and just request supervision to keep it off of my record?

Insurance for a Car Loan..?

The thing is.. I have just recently gotten my aunt to co-sign for a loan on a 2001 Chrysler Sebring lxi. Me and my boyfriend will be the ones who have the car, but me on the other hand, I currently have a Learners Permit so i'm unable to drive it but my boyfriend has a license therefore he can. So for the Financial Company who is loaning us the money has me on file because i'm the only one with income since he doesn't have a job. The problem i have is that the financial company has my information but I can't get insurance for myself as i will not be driving the car, ONLY my boyfriend. So my question is, since i hold a learners permit and he has the license and will be driving, can i just put his name for the insurance? The financial company asked for Proof of Insurance but i don't know if they'll allow him to have the insurance in his name since the loan is in mine? I don't want to get denied because of that one factor since i already got accepted for the loan. I'm sorry, i'm new at all at this :/ Any help would be appreciated, Thanks!""

How much will the insurance company give me for my car?

i was crashed into by another driver who has accepted full responsibility, my car was a vw polo 1.2 e it had done 55,000 miles and was a 53 plate. does anyone know how much they will offer me? im really worried im going to get completely ripped off and i only brought it a few months ago and the crash wasn't my fault at all. thanx for any help :)""

2012 subaru wrx insurance rate?

I am looking to get a 2012 subaru wrx. I am 17 and i am part of my family's all state insurance plan. I have never had an accident and i live in New York. What kind of price should i be looking at. I was told that because the car has a turbo it increases the insurance rate even though it is a four door four cylinder car. Thanks for the help.

Insurance for new driver?

For a new male driver that just got their permit, which car would have cheaper insurance? 2013 Audi A6 3.0T or a 2000 Corvette convertible Most people's first responses are the Corvette, because it is a sports car. However, it has only slightly more power than the Audi, and is worth less than half of what the Audi is. Both cars are titled under the same persons name, if that makes a difference. Would the difference in value make the Corvette's insurance cheaper, or will it still be higher?""

Insurance rates for 19 year old?

what would the insurace rates be for a 19 year old driving one of these cars. all cars would be sedan (4-door) models. 03-04 honda civic 97-01 subaru impreza RS 96-98 BMW 318 94+ acura integra 98-01 honda accord 00-03 nissan sentra

""Got rear ended and no car insurance. will the at faults insurance contact me, or should i contact them?

i have no insurance. i got rear ended today and my car is trashed. will the guys insurance company contact me? should i go to the police station and get a copy of the drivers info and contact their insurance? i dont want medical comp. i just want my car fixed.

My girlfriends car insurance has been cancelled by the insurer!?

my girlriends insurer has sent a letter to my girlfriend saying that they have made a mistake with her insurance after she has been driving for about 3 weeks. they say that she now has to pay 12000 or cancel her insurance. the issue is that they have already taken 780 of her. and also if she cancels her insurance she will not be able to getanother reasonable quote again! My question is is it illegal for them to do this!? and how do we go about getting it back without her next quoting flying through the roof?

What things increase the cost of car insurance?

im 21 and the quotes are huge!! help!

Can my apartment management include premiums of renters insurance on my rent ?

The complex I live in requires that each tenant have renters insurance because the management suffered losses from damages as a result of the tenants' negligence. I want to have the freedom to choose the company that I buy it from -- but they want to increase my rent in order to cover for the premiums. The management company in turn buys a policy for each unit. Can they do that ? I live in California.

Rear ended someone with the same insurance (AAA California). Deductible is waived. Who pays for damages?

If insurance pays for damages to their car, will my premium increase? The estimate of damages is larger than my deductible but since it is only cosmetic damages is it worth the risk ...show more""

What is TRULY the cheapest car insurance?

I am looking to get a second car and I really want to know what the cheapest insurance is. (I am 17, so the insurance will be high anyway) There are tons of commercials for Esurance, Progressive, Allstate, etc, etc but really what is the cheapest? I'm just looking for liability insurance, nothing else, bare minimum. Have any of you switched to one, and what have you saved? Thank you!!""

Motorbike Insurance 600cc ~ 1000cc?

Iam 24 years old ( will do the bike test later this year ) I would just like a rough figure on what would it cost the insurance for these bikes. CB 600 hornet HONDA CBR 1000 KAWASAKI Z1000 KAWASAKI ER 650 YAMAHA R1 YAMAHA R6 Iam asking because iam abroad and i cant do the quotes else i would not loose time asking If someone could be kind enough to help out just with a near figure iwould gladly apreciate the help.

What are average caar insurance prices for an 18 year old?

just need some numbers for the price for the whole yaer

Life Insurance :?

can i stop paying my premium and get back the amount i paid for? . I took insurance for 15 yr. Already 2 years over. Is ther any option to get the invested money back?

What is a good website to compare auto insurance rates?

Can i get car insurance on someone elses policy?

I'm 19. I live with my sister in Detroit, MI. Can I get car insurance on my dad's policy if he lives in a different city then me? or on anyone elses policy? Im not talking about full coverage, I mean plpd, no coverage Thanks..""

My own insurance if i file independent?

Im 18, if no one claims me as a dependent on their taxes (so i claim independent), will I be taken off my parents insurance? and if so, is it health or life insurance or both? and what are the best insurance options for me if i have to get my own?""

Car Insurance Help Please?

So do you have to pay for insurance even if you don't own a car but have a license?

Trying to get a car insurance quote?

I'm trying to get a car insurance quote online and they ask some questions i don't know what they mean like: 1-anti-brakes? (what this means) 2-defensive driver course? (what this means)

Good medical insurance?

im in need of good medical insurance company that is affordable we do not qualify for government aid or medical coverage any suggestion our family consist of two children me and my husband??? we are self employed please help kaiser just raised our rates

How much more will my insurance charge me?

I'm about to get my license at age 18 and I want to buy a really nice turbo charged car...how much more will it be vs a non turbo car

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""Car insurance help, cost per month?""

I got in a fender bender and it was my fault, the guys bumper got a little bent on one side. it was supposed to be done without insurance but thats another story! he quoted me 800. how much will this affect my insurance monthly? im 19 and drive a honda civic""

Does medicaid take someones life insurance money AFTER they die?

My father used medicaid briefly, i think some hospital and a few months in a nursing home...before he died. My mother and father had very little, didnt even own their home. My mom is afraid to have life insurance on HER, because she was told that after HER death...medicaid would try and take whatever she has....including a life insurance policy on her....which of course I'm the only son would recieve it. There is nothing else, she rents a small apartment and is making payments on a car...so its not really hers either. we live in MISSOURI...""

""What are the medical tests, i have to go for insurance?""

what are the medical tests,i have to go for insurance, please provide a link if possible""

Yes/No: Do you have health insurance?

How much will my car insurance go down when I turn 25?

I have a clean record with no tickets and multiple coverages (auto,home,motorcycle). How much though will my insurance go down on average after turning 25?""

What is the average auto mileage per year?

Farmers Insurance says that it is 22,000 and I don't believe them for a second""

Could a 17 year old new driver get insurance for a 1.8-2.0 litre?

Hi... If i was to get a car lets say a 1.8 to a 2.0 litre could i put this car on one of my parents policies and be able to get affordable insurance... My parents have many years no claims discount... Would the insurance firm grant me permission to be insured for a car with a big engine under my parents policy? I was thinking of a VW golf Gti (Mk3) or maybe an old BMW ... Please don't suggest sh!t cars like puntos,saxos nd all those because they are for the boy racers...""

If I get my g2 will my parents insurance rise?

I would like to get my g2 in october, but not get insurance and start driving alone until november. Would this raise my parents insurance from just getting my g2. Also, if i have an 80% avg at midterm, will it lower the cost of insurance? If yes then would a 90 avg lower the insurance cost even more?""

How long will it take for your auto insurance cost to go down?

Who will be responsible for my dad's car wreck/Will my insurance premium go up?

I let my mom borrow my car to get to work for about 6 months. I knew she had it, I never insured it and neither did she. My dad is abusive and tries to contol everyone and their possessions (my car, my apartment, my bf's car). He hit a local business and caused 15k of damage. He has never worked and my mom just recently started a job-I have had to work for everything in my life and I'm frustrated with always being taken advantage of. My dad was taken away from the scene in an ambulance, the owner's of the property he hit never received his name or contact info. Since the car is registered to me, am I liable? Although it was his accident, will my future car insurance premium go up because of this?""

Can i get insurance on a bike at 16?

i have a pedal bike its 20in i have paid almost 1800 for i built it myself and i was woundering if i could get some type of insurance for it like if it gets stolen. i live in michigan

What's the cheapest business auto insurance company?

There are different business auto insurance companies, I've heard Erie insurance is one of the best ones, do you know of any other companies that might be better or similar? thanks""

Any tips on how to avoid paying full coverage insurance on a motorcycle while financing it?

My friend has been financing a motorcycle and he just did his policy online and put down that he owned the motorcycle..and only put liability on it.. Is this a good way to get around the system?

Help! Being sued for auto accident and my liability was too low. What can happen?

I just received notice from my insurance co that I am being sued for an accident that I was at fault in last summer. At the time, there were no injuries reported and we each were able to drive away. It was a very low speed accident and I was allowed to take a driving class in lieu of a ticket. Now I get notice that I am being sued for $100,000. My liability limits were only $25,000. The insurance company is asking for more info and said they will provide an attorney, but since I would be liable for $75,000, should I retain my own attorney? Should I be worried? Also I was just about to sell my home (has very little equity by the way). Am I still allowed to sell once I am served? What happens if they win? Will they attach my wages? I have no assets. Thanks so much for any help! I am about to have a nervous breakdown!!!""

When do you have to get your own health insurance? ?

im 17 will soon be turning 18 and will be starting college in the fall . i have a medical card and im under my moms health plan/insurance. but when do i branch off to get my own insurance/plan ??

My mums with the AA car insurance what are the likely implications for canceling her insurance mid way?

my mum has paid annually (141 quid) lucky sod. and she is considering canceling it to add me to a cheaper car insurer as adding me on the AA insurance is MIND BLOWINGLY EXPENSIVE, (talking 5grand plus per annum) and with aviva its less than half that... but before she cancel she wants to make sure the AA have no hidden cost as all they state is a refund will be paid if insurance has been paid in full and a cancelation fee of 50 must be paid. thats all the information she could find but she wants to know if there are any hidden tricks insurers pull off if your try and cancel.... please help i know its a bit wordy.""

Will my insurance rate go down when I get my license? I have my learners permit?

I have my learners permit and i was paying about 120 a month in insurace, If I go get my license, will my insurance go down?""

""Car accident, how to get money from insurance company?""

one guy rear ended me on september 25th, but his insurance company still have not claimed yet. they said we have not contacted our insurer, so we can not claim this liability i call he and his insurance company to check what's going on, but they never pick up the their phone. what do i need to, shoul i call them to court (my car's mufflier and bumper broken, about $ 800 to fix it?""

When do car insurance rates drop?

At what age do car insurance rates drop? Currently I am a 20 year old male living in Kansas. Also what else will cause insurance to go down. If you get married, have kids, etc....? Thanks.""

""How to save more money as a teen, for a car and motorcycle?""

I'm about to turn 16, and would like to save up for a reliable, cheap (2k-4.5k), good-looking, car. It has to be American, or anything other than Honda, Subaru, Toyota, Lexus, Hyundai, etc. cause dad works for GM. I am paying for the car on my own, most likely, but maybe I can convince parents to pay 1k or so. Money is tight right now in my family. Dad got demoted last year during GM's bankruptcy, and may get a promotion in spring. My Mom is opening a restaurant this year, which is going to cost a lot. I got a job in November at a brand new Kroger grocery store, where I get minimum wage and cannot work over 16 hours per week because I'm only 15. I have saved a little over 1.2k in the bank. I also have invested $500 of my own money this year into stocks, which are up a little. This might sound dumb to some, but I have dreamed of buying a motorcycle. I want a Kawasaki Ninja 650R. AND YES, I KNOW INSURANCE COSTS MONEY, (FOR CAR AND MOTORCYCLE) I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I also need to plan on how to save for that. Any tips, help, and info would be great! Thanks so much.""

Where can I get the cheapest auto insurance?

Im a 16 year old male who lives in new orleans. I have a 3.8 GPA, and my car has a 5-star crash rating (2010 Toyota Camry Hybrid). Where can i get affordable insurance?""

Whats a cheap car insurance company for young adults?

Im 19 and im looking at buying a honda civic si 2006 right now im under my moms insurance and im paying 140 for liability only and ive been looking around and all i see is $300 and up for full coverage on a finaced car. I need a cheaper insurance company im a female and i live in florida if that helps.

When you pay off a credit card is it better to reduce the credit limit or close the account?

I've heard that once you pay off a credit card you shouldn't close the account to keep a good credit score. I've also heard that even though one pays off his credit card reducing the credit limit is also not a good option for keeping a great credit rating. What is the best way to handle this situation if you don't really want the card around to prevent you from running the balance up, but also don't want to hurt your credit rating. Is there any way to find out what exactly affects one's credit score? Examples: Let's just say a website or book states something like filing for bankruptcy subtracts XXXX amount of points from your credit rating. Defaulting on credit card payments for XXX amount of months subtracts XXX amount of points from your credit rating. Paying off federal student loans adds or subtracts XXXX amount of points from your credit rating. Also is there anywhere that states how long certain things stay on your credit report?""

Do you have too get insurance on rentacar?

do you need insurance on car rental

""Getting my new car, Challenger 2009, any insurance rates?""

How much would the APPROXIMATE insurance rate be on a 2009 Dodge Challenge R/T? I know it won't be low, but it won't be that high since it's an American car....correct? Her is the bad part...My record. 2 Accidents and a stop sign...But i will turn 18 soon if that matters. Car Info (another bad thing) 5.7 Liter V8 Hemi, 375 horses. How much is the Approximate insurance guys, just throw me an estimate.""

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/first-time-cars-cheap-insurance-luis-bell/"

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rey-kryze · 7 years ago

Note

It never occurred to me until now, but one of the reasons I approve of Jonerys is because it's a ship that actually takes Dany's desires into account. Jorah x Dany completely ignores her feelings on the matter (which she has made very clear). And I'm leery of Tyrion x Dany because it opens her up to so much unfair criticism if she doesn't completely look past his disability (as if she isn't allowed to have sexual preferences). This might controversial so feel free not to publish.

It’s actually both Daenerys’ , and Jon’s , first consensual adult / romantic relationship.

Daeneys was sold to Drogo by her brother , for his benefit ( though not in the end , obviously ), she loved him out of duty, out of obligation and no small amount of self preservation.

Ygritte was Jon’s senior by a good five years ( a fact they don’t address in the show, but they really do gloss over character's respective ages. Like Robb is only 16 when he was at war, when he was the young wolf. As jon was only 15/16 with Ygritte, and she was in her early 20′s , if not 20. ) Jon was captured by the wildlings and yes , he adapted to survive ( much like Daenerys with the Dothraki ) , and was coerced , sexually, by Ygritte ; he did develop feelings after the fact but make no mistake that they didn’t occur organically, and he was a young boy, who’d essentially made a vow of abstinence. She knew that, didn’t care, and disregarded something that meant a great deal to him.

Daenerys’ relationship with Daario was, to be fair , entirely willing on both parts it was hardly a loving affair , it was torrid, heated, passionate yes but Daenerys felt no real love, he was a warm body in her bed.

Daenerys and Jorah ? Well, Jorah in the books is far creepier than in the show and that’s where I first based my opinion of him; a giant hulking dude who lusted after a 13 year old girl ? Who spied on her, betrayed her, and exclusively slept with prostitutes who looked like her ? That’s fucking creepy. And in the show they hyper-fixate on his love and loyalty for her, ignoring the fact that he was a grown ass man toiling over the fact that a child didn’t reciprocate his feelings.

He envied her partners, he wanted her for himself, to himself, but a part of him knew it would never happen.

I’m not ? really gonna address the Tyrion thing because I DONT think he has any romantic feelings for Daenerys . He respects her as a person , and as his Queen. and ? her physical preferences to not sleeping with him because he’s a dwarf is high key an ableist statement, so, refrain .

Now Dany and Jon ? Are EQUALS , the first King she’s met , the first man of his stature who has EARNED what he has , who has won the love of his people no less than she had . It’s the first comparison we see when they meet, the first thing said of either ; that they are beloved, and that they protect people from monsters. They might meet as equals , but there’s initially discourse, and rightfully so from either of their perspectives .

They come to TRUST one another in time and they build an alliance before anything else. Neither of them have built anything quite as significant with someone they’d later love. It’s a predestined sort of thing so yes, it’s going to have a bit of a rushed feel about it but the show and novels have taken their time to build careful story parallels so that when they finally DO meet, when these paths converge, its kismet.

Daenerys and Jon are endgame for each other, there’s six episodes left , and the last one we’d seen was their love flourishing, was their trust and dedication to one another, in full view. And , a touch of their destiny being shown as decided from the start.

Jonerys is it, folks. it is known.

#jonerys #answered.#got wank #Anonymous

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hollow-transient · 7 years ago

Text

Triple Decker Dreams

I had fallen asleep around 10:30 or 11PM because I was real tired and hoped I would sleep through the night but instead I, again, wake up around 1:30AM and become unable to return to sleep. But after a few hours I fall back asleep around 5:20AM and wouldn't wake up again until 8AM. During these hours of sleep I had 3 weird dreams. Its gonna be a long one.

The first one was a Simpsons based dream, which is weird because I don't even watch The Simpsons. It was about Bart trying to find a safe place to be because there was some weird disease going around the town that looked like it made reality start to fall apart. All throughout this I (as some sort of separate entity) feel kind of gross and like I'm blowing my nose and swallowing mucus. Bart goes running and running until he finds an underground tunnel area and meets up with the bus driver dude, who explains that because of all of his smoking this place is safe. Bart then stupidly pokes around while the guy is trying to explain things and accidentally rips open a wall that leads into a casino-like area and lets all the "bad air" in. As the bus driver screams Bart tries to hide in a bathroom but it doesn't work and so he soon starts running down a suburb street at night and then theres a "jumpcut" to the dinner table in the Simpsons' home and "I'm" looking at Marge standing up and making something but its implied all the rest of the family (except maybe Bart) are all there. Then the characters start to say "Remember. This dream is a closed loop." and they repeat "This dream is a closed loop." over and over and they start looking at their hands and then I was apparently an entity there because I look down and see my own hands as things start to distort and I get real nauseous from the mucus swallowing and the visual effect.

I don't remember if I woke up anytime during that dream and this next one because of the nauseous feeling.

Dream 2 has me turn into a young Asian girl and for some reason I'm trying to sneak into some Nintendo "Research Facility" with the help of some Asian scientist dude. After I accidentally trip a weird alarm by trying to disable it we go into an elevator and end up at some parking lot structure that has no cars but a bunch of scattered elevators and walls all over the place. We're trying to find the right elevator and at what point my supposed girl best friend is also there but then disappears somewhere. The scientist dude and I spend a lot of time trying to find the right elevator and avoid the one we came in but now we're getting kind of lost, eventually he finds the one and we go in but theres another one of the weird alarm systems in place and I try to disable it again but I fail again but I manage to turn it off afterwards by luck so we just take the elevator anyways and end up where we were going to go and rush on through. Then the scientist dude disappears and the girl best friend is there and I tell her how to turn off the elevator's alarm and she says she already knew and I just go "Oh thats good." and not realize this was supposed to be a hint I guess that the scientist dude had been my girl best friend in disguise this whole time. We make our way through but instead of a Nintendo facility it looks more like some weird old-fashioned army boot camp. We hear guards coming, even though nobody came when I kept tripping alarms there are apparently patrols in the area and we end up hiding beneath one of the barracks or whatever and cover ourselves with a blanket we find, that I did not like having to do and worried about spiders and fleas. The patrols come buy and its just some young dude (and then sometimes another one?) and he's just being obnoxious and pretending he didn't hear anything as he tries to see underneath the barracks to find us but can't and gets directed elsewhere by some other guy who appears.

At this point I'm starting to wake up so my dream gets more effected by "reality" and I end up stuck under the barracks and start to panic a bit but my girl best friend gets out and says she'll try to find a way to get me out. She leaves and I start to relax a bit and try to wiggle my way out. I am basically awake but as a faint memory I have tells me the girl apparently does get out but is dirty, scratched, and bleeding all over and has massive wooden "splinters" stuck to her ripped open bleeding elbows but its not a scene of horror or pain just aggravation that the best girl friend couldn't come help sooner.

I wake up for a few minutes kind of wondering whats going on and still feeling gross from the Simpsons dream but then fall asleep again shortly after.

The final dream is the weirdest because I end up this familiar dinner party with my family and its at this sort of half-indoor half-outdoor barn-like building. And almost immediately this dream version of me (as I am now finally myself in a dream) seems to recognize that this is a repeat of a dream I've had before and knows what is going down (In actuality I can't remember if I've even had this dream before), and knows that the whole thing is a dream but still decides to treat it as if its actually happening for some reason. I go to some side part because I know I'm supposed to save "the Queen's dog", whoever this queen is, from a bunch of mobsters in the area who are at the dinner party as well for some reason and are trying to get the dog too because their boss wants it and is claiming its her dog. When I get to the side area where the dog is, stuck on a rafter way high above, I look around and see a lot of jackets folded up and placed on a table. Assuming its the jackets of all the visitors I just sort of think for a moment and go "Nah fuck this." and a mobster comes in and starts to pull out his gun to threaten me and I guess the entire thing was supposed to turn into some action movie-esque scene where I fight off mobsters and run away with the dog but instead I tell him "No don't worry about it, I'm not getting the dog. Look at those jackets. Even if only half of them belong to you guys thats like, 20 people here alone, and thats TOO many people and I'm not fighting every single person here just to get the dog." and all the while I'm having these flashbacks to the people I would have fought, including some random "secret weapon" dude who was strapped to a chair and struggling like a wild animal in a hidden green/blue room and looked insane as fuck. So I go back into the main room to my family and basically tell my dad the entire plot synopsis of what the dream was supposed to be and how there are mobsters and I was supposed to go get a dog and they would fight me as a desperate attempt to gain favor from their mob boss, and how I was then going to go into a car and drive away (even though I don't have a driver's license) until eventually calling in a favor from some dude who was a taxi driver I guess and looking vaguely like a younger Rich Evans and he'd change into a superhero suit and reluctantly help me transport the dog but be happy while doing it.

Afterwards I start waking up again but not before there is a sort of "jumpcut" again to a gray-sky early morning suburban neighborhood that I've never been in but apparently live at in this dream. I go out shirtless for some reason for a run (not a job, specifically a slow run) down the street near the confines of the neighborhood that just sort of starts to turn into some other setting briefly but then gives up and fades away. All the while I'm doing this I think I'm having some weird stupid bullshit monologue about the dream I'm having and the other dreams I had. Talking about how the mob won't get me now and even if they tried they wouldn't be able to do anything to me and how I've lived this life or something. As I turn around to return a pot with three orange and weirdly orb-shaped flowers, almost looking out of a video game, start bouncing in my general direction and the flowers start to pop off and go away until its just the pod and some vines but I pick up the pot anyways and the vines sort of "attack" my hands and then my hands get sticky and hurt a little bit because of these orange tufts on them now. I continue with the monologue of nonsense as I get to my house but instead of a normal house its also kind of like a trailer home and I pass my mom coming out of it looking like she's in a trance and about to go monologue as well I guess but I hurry in and go to the bathroom and instead of using the sink I go into one of those walk-in showers and just rinse my hands off in there.

And then I woke up.

#dreams #a long one sinces its three of them #the daily lives of hollow guys #very weird dreams

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musicrunsthroughmysoul · 7 years ago

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August 19, 2017: What Should’ve Been The Best Music Day of My Life Courtesy of My Favorite Band, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Congratulations, that was the most lackluster concert I have been to, and out of the four bands I have seen live (with three of them fronted by women), Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers were such a drag.

Me @ them: Nice goin’, guys. I’m just gonna remind you that Stevie Nicks who is older than all of your asses put on a better fucking show than you all did and was more personable and friendly than I expect any of you together to be with an audience ever again, no offense. I found The Lumineers to be more rousing, more endearing, and more organized than you all. What a joke of an incorrectly numbered anniversary tour. (IT’S THE 41ST ANNIVERSARY, NEWSFLASH FOR WHOEVER FORGOT HOW TO COUNT.)

But in some band members’ defense, namely Benmont Tench, Mike Campbell, and Ron Blair, the show wasn’t all that bad. I thank them deeply for sharing their unbelievable talents, especially for me seeing them live for the first time Saturday night, and I will never stop being grateful for what they bring to the music that I love with all of my heart and soul. What speaks to my soul deserves all of my gratitude, after all. Though I called Mike an asshole in my head at least once as I watched him play a solo but if I didn’t, knowing me, that would’ve meant I would not have believed I was witnessing perfection right before my eyes. But I did, so bless the asshole guitarist for being such a perfect guitarist asshole. I mean that in the most endearing way possible.

First off, a tip, and this is mostly relevant to the venue: don’t announce to people who have been standing in line for over an hour that, all of a sudden, backpacks and bags no bigger than a clutch aren’t allowed into the venue. Especially in a city with such awful traffic, few places to park that don’t cost your arm and firstborn child per hour…that was a really bad call. (Not to mention the venue was shitty enough for a concert already.) Oh, and if you’re disabled? They didn’t fucking care – no backpacks allowed until we reminded them of our rights and threatened to sue them. So there’s a tip for anyone and everyone – it’s really good and important to know your rights.

So, after getting in and walking down all those stadium steps and feeling nothing like an in-shape athlete, we finally found our seats – the field section that would’ve been right in front of Mike and Benmont had the stage been bigger, which was sad. I’d never been so close at a concert except when my mom and I had perfect side-view seating for The Pretenders and Stevie Nicks, so this was fucking exciting. After running back and forth a few times for drinks and merch (I got the 40th anniversary shirt even though I wanted to cross out the 0 and put a 1), I finally settled into my seat and my friend and I discussed the staggering amount of drunk people (heh heh heh) in attendance considering the opening act hadn’t even come on yet. I started to worry about getting beer sloshed on me because had that happened, there’s no telling what would’ve happened to the beer-spiller, but luckily that didn’t happen, so, you know, no one got hurt or anything.

(Heehee, there’s me with my new shirt! And yes, I wore my hat, which I got a few compliments on, but I don’t know if people actually got the reference or not. Lucky for me I just-so-happen to be one of the biggest Tom-wearing-a-top-hat fans, and my friend had one that she kept and wore to previous TPATH concerts, so yeah, it was very appropriate! I still don’t wear hats, though. Oh yeah, and I wore this shirt.)

Eventually 7:30 rolled around and The Lumineers came out. I immediately became intrigued by the group of musicians since I only knew a couple of their songs (and that’s about as much as I knew about them), but I was pretty sure there was generally only three of them in the band, so I was interested in the others there, too. Also, since I’ve only been to three concerts in my lifetime so far and one didn’t have an opening act and the other was a double bill, I wasn’t sure if it was unusual for the opening act not to introduce the group, because they didn’t! So the group on stage still remains a mystery to me. (Oh yeah, and Tom didn’t introduce them once he and the Heartbreakers got on stage, either, and apparently it was their last night on tour with them. What an ungrateful asshole.) I really, really enjoyed them, though. Their songs were familiar and touching and beautiful, and I adored how much energy they all had. I also found (seemed like he was mainly) the drummer to be rather cute but hi, here’s me admitting this has nothing to do with the music, which I will get back to now (how about the rest of you asshole music journalists admit this when you’re writing about women in music, too – here’s me encouraging you in an admittedly abrasive way). Since I really didn’t know much about The Lumineers to begin with, it was SO FUCKING REFRESHING AND SURPRISING AND AMAZING to see a woman up there PLAYING THE FUCKING CELLO. I don’t care what you label the group as – folk rock, indie, whatever the hell you’d call it – because it was FUCKING AMAZING to see someone up there playing the GOD DAMN CELLO, of ALL instruments, and a WOMAN, nonetheless. (Apparently her name is Neyla Pekarek. Shout-out to her!) My soul ascended for that entire show, quite honestly. I felt bad, though, because the crowd didn’t seem to be very enthusiastic towards them, and bless them, they kept trying to get the crowd engaged but this crowd was just way too drunk (and probably high from the fucking Hempfest which I found out the day before was happening the same day as the concert – yeah, I was thrilled to learn that piece of information) to be truly appreciative. I really, truly did appreciate their talent and effort, though, and as my friend and I were saying, they really shouldn’t be opening for people – they should be headliners, themselves. They really were fantastic. I plan on checking out the rest of their stuff when I have time.

So finally, after what seemed like quite a long intermission, God himself…oh wait…I mean, Tom Petty finally appeared on screen, addressing the crowd with gratitude because “We always love coming to Seattle” even though my friend and the person sitting next to us who’d been a long-time fan said they’d never been to Seattle (I looked it up and the last time they were in Seattle was 20 years ago!). So that was bizarre. But I wasn’t expecting much in the way of sense and authenticity from him, plus he kept doing this thing with his face/mouth that made him look like a tweaker and harkened back to TPATH’s earlier concerts (you can fucking argue with me, a young fan who knows nothing, if you want, but long-time fans who were there and were aware, ahem ahem, knew). I decided early on there was no hope for him, especially by way of my attitude toward him. #sorrynotsorry

So when they kicked into “Rockin’ Around (With You)” I was like, YES, LET IT BEGIN, LET IT BEGIN!!! only to be frustrated as SHIT at how FUCKING SLOW IT WAS! THAT SONG IS NOT MEANT TO BE PLAYED FUCKING SLOW, MUCH LESS SUNG SLOW. Bless Mike and Benmont and at one point possibly Ron for attempting to pick up the pace, though.

And as a side note, prepare yourself for a lot of Mike, Benmont, and Ron praise throughout this. If you wanted to read fluffy kiss-ass shit about Tom Petty, read another review (because, to my genuine horror, there have been a lot out there).

This is the sign I brought with me, that I actually made the day of the concert whoops…

That ought to tell you who I really care about in this. (You know, the whole reason the tour exists in the first place? The people who are ACTUALLY supposed to be celebrated for this whole thing? Yeah. It’s them not him. In spite of what the bullshit setlist represents. You know what, I should include in this what songs I’D like to hear during an ideal Heartbreakers anniversary tour. Deep cuts, you know. Real fuckin’ deep. Not this two and a half foot shallow bullshit they put on; sorry, but true.)

Now, “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” was awesome, not to mention Mike was AMAZING and as soon as I got to see him so close up on the screen just shredding, I started crying. No joke. Seeing that extreme talent and getting to hear it in person absolutely brought me to tears. Only Mike Campbell could’ve done that. Truly, I cannot think of any other musician, UNLESS they were on their own (Benmont!!!) who could’ve made me cry like that (though maybe Stevie if she suddenly decided she was brave enough to put on a show of just her and the piano. Jesus, can you imagine the magic? ABSOLUTE magic, enough to KILL a person emotionally in the best way possible…sorry, I just digressed and took all this away from Mike, SORRY MIKE, I’M STILL HERE FOR YOU, THOUGH). The singing was out of tune, though, thanks to Tom and the Webb Sisters. But, I mean, what could they say? No one can beat Howie Epstein’s harmonies. (Ha, I bet you all thought I would go this entire review without mentioning Howie, just because he wasn’t there, huh? NO LUCK! If this is a review of The Heartbreakers, you bet your ass I’m going to mention, if not honorable mention, every single one of them! They DESERVE that.)

As for “You Don’t Know How It Feels” which I sat down for because “You don’t know how it feels to be sitting at what should be a Tom Petty AND THE HEARTBREAKERS concert and feeling like the people of that end name mean all of jack shit plus the fact that this song belongs to a Tom Petty solo album and not anything related to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers,” the music was pretty good. The harmonica could’ve been better, Scott Thurston. Though, quite honestly, I would’ve liked to have seen Tom play that, anyway, which obviously he didn’t. The singing was still out of tune, though, which I couldn’t help thinking, ‘Wow! This is supposed to be Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and you couldn’t even care less about doing your own solo songs justice!’ That was kind of disturbing in itself, but no further comment…

What kind of surprised me about “Forgotten Man,” though, which I liked on the record because it was the first time I got to join in with the hype for a new album (much less of what was supposed to be my favorite band by that time), was how underwhelming it was live. I know it was nice because they were playing something off of TPATH’s “latest” album, but it just didn’t seem as exciting live. I might’ve enjoyed it more if they’d played something else off that album, but the fact is that they didn’t, and again it just seems like they were catering to Tom’s obsessive need to stay relevant. Instead of blatantly saying so with this shitshow of a tour, they (mostly Tom, though) could’ve actually made an effort to RIGHTLY remain relevant rather than shove the idea in our faces. Don’t you know, man? That never works. Too bad you didn’t get the memo.

“Into the Great Wide Open” for me was interesting because, I don’t know, instead of displaying the music video along with the song since it seemed that’s what was on the screens the most, they chose to show like one constant background that said “Hollywood” and basically nothing else. If they’d wanted to show something that more fit the song, why not show the music video?! Oh wait, because Stan Lynch and Howie are in it, and y’all don’t wanna be reminded of them? Well, fuck you. And if it was “too long” to show live, well, you could’ve shortened it! Only show half of it! Part of it! Better than what WAS shown, PLUS more accurately honoring the Heartbreakers since they were all actually in it and part of it. Also, again, Tom singing it too slow and dragging it out was not “exciting” or “new” or even “improvisational.” It was a dick move considering the portion of the crowd singing along, and I will reiterate this throughout – it was NOT done as an improvement on the music. I’ll leave you and your imaginations to consider the proper reason for why he kept doing it…because he did it A LOT, like, EVERY SONG.

Now, a song that I finally felt was APPROPRIATELY sung and played, for sure, was “I Won’t Back Down.” But a song that says ‘Fuck you, haters,’ would’ve had no excuse for being shitty, so I guess, I don’t know, someone justified that… Benmont and Mike kicked ass on it, too, especially Mike, good LORD. However, I did find it slightly irritating the way Tom oversung it, like he was trying too hard to make it sound “fuck-you-ish” which is a phrase I just made up – you’re welcome – and it just sounded weird. I might’ve enjoyed the singing on it more if he’d sung it in a softer tone, and in his normal voice, to actually refute the song’s meaning and thus, I think, make it more powerful. (Which is one reason why I so enjoy the live acoustic version of this song!) Also, unrelated to the music, but there were a few people two rows in front of me acting out the concert and it was quite amusing to see them shove each other lightly and give pointed, knowing looks during the “In a world that keeps on pushing me around” part. It’s how I would’ve done it!

Oh boy, oh boy, okay, now get ready for what was the absolute best part of the concert, hands-down, nothing and no one could’ve made any part of it any better: “Free Fallin’.” Now, as a reminder, y’all know I have the music notes to the bridge lyrics of this song tattooed around my ankle, right? (And in case you didn’t…now you know.)

This is my #1 favorite song of all-time. Personally, I don’t get how people can say, “I could never have/choose just one favorite song!” I mean, I have numbered favorites, sure, but I still have technically one favorite song of all-time, and that is “Free Fallin’.” It’s important for me to mention that I didn’t look at the setlists online before we went to the concert, so I forgot what all was most likely going to play next, so perhaps that’s why I reacted so strongly when the first two chords started, as I wasn’t expecting it so soon: I cried. My nose got all hot even though the night was pretty cool and tears just started pouring down my cheeks and I covered my mouth with my hand because I couldn’t believe I was hearing my favorite song of all-time live. I missed the entire verse before the first chorus because I had my eyes squeezed shut trying not to cry so much the whole time. I shook like I was crying when I saw Heart and Stevie Nicks, but then I never actually cried real tears; it’s like I was saving them all for this one fucking song at this concert because I swear I didn’t stop crying for the entire song – I didn’t stop crying until it was over, when I could finally properly dry my tears on my jacket sleeves. That was a moment I will never forget as long as I live. That is what music should do. And, jesus christ, despite this angry though completely honest review I’m writing, that was the greatest, most happiest moment for me, and I could not have been more grateful for the opportunity. I mean, how many people can say they got to hear their number one favorite song of all-time played live at a concert they got to attend in person? Especially getting to say that now? The music was great, as far as I could tell through my tears, and I wouldn’t have changed anything about that moment.

When Tom started to talk about, “This one was a request…but it counts if it’s my request, right?” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and want to scream “NO!!!” because god knows what god-awful song from one of his solo albums he would’ve chosen if that was the case. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was, in fact, “Walls,” the version I much prefer fuck you Lindsey Buckingham with the harmonica solo in it and everything! Good way to not let me down after that incredible moment with “Free Fallin’,” guys, really, I approved. AND it was awesome to see that Tom did the harmonica solo on that, THANK YOU! Although he still sung a lot of the song out of tune. Yikes, man. Oh, but I giggled quite a bit watching him throw the harmonica over his shoulder when the verse afterward came in, and I was checking to make sure he didn’t hit Mike with it or something because it looked like he flung it behind him pretty good.

Oh, to bring up the whole thing with the weird clips they showed on the screen again, the “example” of Tom’s usual pulling-the-hat-from-the-chest bit for “Don’t Come Around Here No More” was weird. I know that they USUALLY do the whole hat-and-chest thing, but I wish they hadn’t shown, like, the gimmicky thing on the screen, instead, and rather just gone with some cool psychedelic sequence to match the song. As for the music, BEAUTIFUL job done by Mike and Benmont and Ron, WOW! I loved it. Tom…made an attempt…sort of…but that’s about as much as I can give him for this song. I wasn’t expecting them to do the whole strobe light thing at the end (even though I’ve seen the Take The Highway Live! performance…I should’ve known…), because I REALLY wanted to see Benmont and Mike on the screen (especially Mike during his AWESOME fucking solo!) but instead, with the screen, they did this freaky-ass thing where each band member would appear for as long as each beat by the drums/lights would go, but they would never remain on one member for longer than that beat which was annoying as FUCK because I SO BADLY WANTED to see these AWESOME musicians playing this song SO AWESOMELY. That was one really bad thing about this show – I never got to see what or who I wanted to see on the screen (since I was too short to see on stage except I got a glimpse of Benmont’s head at the beginning and if I stood on my tiptoes I could see Tom which I did not want to see), especially WHEN I wanted to see them most, because of the weird things they were doing with the cameras, screens, and lighting. Rude, guys. Talk about really not giving the musicians who needed to be honored the spotlight to do so…literally.

I know this review is getting super long, so I tell you all what: I’m completely skipping over “It’s Good to Be King” just like I did during the show because my friend and I fucking hate that song so we used the extra-long solo time to take a much-needed bathroom break. This section is now dubbed It’s Good to Take a Bathroom Break, Especially to Get Away from The King. Sorry we missed you probably being awesome, Mike.

As we were coming back to our seats, though, to my disappointment, “Crawling Back to You” with that GORGEOUS, HOLY FUCK I’M GOING TO DIE FROM THE BEAUTY of Benmont’s piano part came on…but only for a few seconds. All of a sudden the only instruments I could hear with 100% certainty was the bass (GO RON, GO! Damn!!!), while I could hear the drums about 65% because Steve is holy-fucking-shit louder than all the rest of the Heartbreakers. And then to my further dismay the sound did not improve once we returned to our seats, so basically they played the whole song without anyone getting to hear anything but bass and some drums on it. Which was interesting, I’ll give them that. And go, Ron, go, man. At least he made that enjoyable, though, no offense intended, I’ve always preferred to listen to that song for the piano more than anything else, so that part was disappointing. But they played the entire thing without any sound, and people were screaming and booing them, so there’s no doubt they knew that no one could hear them. And then they didn’t even offer to play it over again once the sound came back on! I was a little miffed about that, not to mention that the next song they played is one of my least favorites. I have nothing good to say about it because the whole time Tom was singing I was singing along and changing the lyrics to be rather evil, so I won’t even give it its own section for scrutiny.

Now, “Learning to Fly” was excellent, and not because I was doing my own high harmonies for the chorus response (as though I wasn’t doing that with “Into the Great Wide Open,” too, heh heh). Benmont…jesus christ. Fucking gorgeous. Perfection. Bless my favorite cinnamon roll for that part, and that song, especially, in particular. His little solo after the chorus was REALLY awesome, too, wow, one I really was not expecting, which was GREAT in this case. I’m very pleased to say that Benmont made this song special for me. When I’d watch live versions of this song on Youtube, I always (and probably still do) get emotional when Tom ad-libs the “(Learning to fly) Over my troubles…over my worries…” but this time it was Benmont who filled me with emotion for this song – of course, my favorite Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers song ever. After the disaster with “Crawling Back to You,” this was a beautiful treat. I regretted not taking off my jacket during this song so that I could raise my arm with my appropriately-inspired tattoo, and hold it up to them, as though in some sort of unity, and certainly in gratitude. But one last time, thank you for making this song in particular so memorable, Benmont.

Not to make things any better on The Heartbreakers front but to make it better for me because I am such a big fan of Full Moon Fever, I’m SO glad they played “Yer So Bad.” I love that song – the humor and lightheartedness of it is fantastic, and I think that mood in particular was so necessary for that show, too, so GOOD ON THEM for doing it. I absolutely loved it (maybe not so much the, again, out of tune singing by Tom, though) and was bouncing along with it in time through the whole song. One thing that was weird to me, though, was the little animated clip thing they kept showing in the background on the screens. I guess it was their idea of a music video for it, but “Yer So Bad” already has an official video for it! Why make another weird one, plus, should we not be most focused on the band and the music? Why not show images and clips relevant to the band, or better yet, THE SONG (plus the band, or in this case, just Tom)? Oh wait. I think I just answered my own question. Considering the title of the song. …um, never mind, MOVING ON… Those people who were in front of me, though, were back with animating the songs and were doing this amusing pointing to themselves, to each other, showing two fingers for “to [save me]…” I think I enjoyed watching them more than looking up at the screen and watching the weird pseudo-video for it. At least some portion of the crowd was reliable for something other than drunk as fuck dancing and shouting and generally carrying on.

Okay, so, again, I don’t know anything about The Last DJ or Mojo. Nada. So “I Should Have Known It” was a complete surprise and I totally did not recognize it at all, which is, in their defense, due to my own ignorance. However, I will say that helped me stay objective because I’ve gotta say that Benmont, Mike, Ron, even Steve kicked ASS on that song. Even though I didn’t know it and I’m not much of a fan of it (still), musically it was FANTASTIC. It reminded me, though, of something that has been very apparent in Youtube videos of other live performances throughout this tour…the band dynamic is almost non-existent now. If Mike looks at anybody in the band voluntarily anymore, it’s Benmont – where Mike and Tom used to have great camaraderie on stage together, especially during Mike’s solos, it really seems like Mike and Benmont and occasionally Ron are the only ones who have at least some sort of on-stage relationship that I’d expect any and every band to have. It’s really quite sad. (But I won’t blame them…I mean, not entirely, anyway. Most importantly, I see who they have to put up with, and yeah, in that regard, I get why there’d be some sort of resentment or at least frustration. ESPECIALLY with this shit-for-thrown-together tour.) Although I will also say, Ron seems like the kind of guy who can get along with anybody, so while Mike and Benmont are over there being stubborn – maybe Steve, too – Ron’s just enjoying himself and everyone else is doing their own thing. But I guess that’s not really a criticism, except perhaps to Mike and Benmont. (I’M JUST SAYING, GUYS.)

As for the rest of the concert, I can honestly say that nothing was particularly spectacular. “Refugee” was okay – I’m sure I’ve heard better live versions of it before – although they could’ve all started in the same key, yeah, that would’ve been helpful. (I’m telling you, these guys were NOT LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AT ALL. HELLO! VISUAL CUES ARE IMPORTANT, TOO! YOUR HAIR’S NOT THAT LONG!) Mike and Benmont were awesome, though – surprise. (I should actually sound more excited about that, because that was the most exciting thing about it.) Mike was the best part about “Runnin’ Down a Dream,” too, and I’m lucky I didn’t start crying! Truthfully, I was not that excited or impressed about “You Wreck Me,” mostly because it was played as part of the encore and for a Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers anniversary tour I would’ve expected the encore to be nothing but TPATH songs, not Tom’s solo songs. So that was disappointing, and thus I didn’t really care all that much for it.

And finally, “American Girl.” The band’s first hit. If there is any song they’re going to play badly, it better not be that one. Well, guess what. TOO LATE! Holy Heartbreakers, Batman, for the first few seconds, literally nobody could pick a key and figure out what fucking song they were playing. Oh my god. It was awful. I laughed. With pity. Oh, and then I really laughed because at the end they fucking had fireworks as if to say, ‘Yep, this was the perfect way to go out after such a GREAT JOB on that last song!’ Secondhand embarrassment at a concert is real, dudes. And while I would like to say that Mike (and Benmont) played the most kickass version of that song live ever, poor Mike…I think by the end of it, he was just done, and so was Benmont. Ron was awesome, though, as I would expect, so THANK YOU RON FOR HAVING YOUR SHIT TOGETHER ON THAT ARGUABLY MOST IMPORTANT SONG. As for the rest of y’all, for shame. Really, for shame. Tsk tsk and everything, guys. I’m still disappointed.

Despite that this was my first time getting to see my favorite band of all-time live, boy, did this concert and this tour do a great disservice to them. Not that it necessarily did a disservice to Tom Petty (at least the setlist – HA, in terms of the concerts and everything, he brought that, as in every criticism I said throughout this review, on himself, plain and simple), mind you, but to the Heartbreakers, who the tour and concerts should have HONORED, DEEPLY, for forty years of some of the best music in the world.

I recognize that this music might not have even seen the light of day were it not for these incredibly talented, amazing musicians…but unfortunately, this tour and show did a very poor job of acknowledging that fact.

And one last thing that has nothing to do with the band (well, sort of)…I would not have had the opportunity to go to this concert, no matter how good or bad it was and so I feel I would not have had the opportunity to see my favorite band ever live, had it not been for my friend who took me with her to see them. She has made a lot of my music opportunities happen, all of which I’m overwhelmingly grateful for, but it’s been most incredible that I’ve found this person who shares my passion for music, and especially for this band’s music. Without her, I may be sitting here and still have never had the opportunity to experience live music, especially by bands I love so much. I can’t technically thank the band for any music they’ve given me without thanking her first, because she is honestly the one who fueled the fan in me. Thank you for the music, and thank you for my passion. (Now that’s for both of them, heehee!)

End note:

As promised, I said I’d discuss what songs I would’ve liked to hear during a TPATH anniversary tour. To make this concert adhere rightly to its namesake and thus purpose, I want to make it clear that, after having read about my experience with "Free Fallin'" and that it was hands-down the best part of the show for me, for a proper Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers anniversary tour, I wouldn't put it on the setlist. Yes, I would sacrifice my ULTIMATE happiness for, hopefully, multiplied extra happiness with a TRUE Heartbreakers tour. So, my preferred setlist:

"The Waiting" – addressing the constant elephant in the room (not referring to him as an elephant, though – more like a teddy bear!), Stan Lynch is no longer part of the Heartbreakers, and thus the original sound no longer exists. Sorry, Steve, who is a fucking incredible drummer in his own right. However, I'd trust, plus Steve, they could succeed with this song IF THEY SIMPLY TRIED.

"Even the Losers" or "Don't Do Me Like That" – I’m personally partial to "Even the Losers" as it's my favorite track on Damn the Torpedoes, but I recognize that "Don't Do Me Like That" was a bigger hit and would concede to have that on the setlist (plus, I like it, too, obviously).

"Change of Heart" – okay, I'm begging here, BEGGING! PLEASE, this is one of my FAVORITE TPATH songs, plus it was the first single released off of Long After Dark which is a HORRIFICALLY UNDERRATED album, itself. Since my request for a purely Long After Dark tour would probably be denied, I'd accept even just getting to hear this one song. And so it's not "You Got Lucky" which they played, as well, sometimes, but it's something different, for sure, and off a fucking GREAT album.

"You're Gonna Get It" – I’m saying this instead of the popular "I Need to Know" or most craved for "Magnolia" which I personally dislike and don't get the fuss about. Not only was "You're Gonna Get It" the title track of its album and thus more quickly and easily represents a proper Heartbreakers tour, but it hasn't been played live for a while.

“Spike” – considering previous live versions of this song, it’s so good for pulling the audience in and it’s a real fun/funny song (kind of like “Yer So Bad,” except the difference is it’s on Southern Accents and not Full Moon Fever!). While I really never want to hear Tom howl at the fucking moon, I’d endure it just to have a fun Heartbreakers song played. Although, if I’m being honest, I’d go for “Dogs on the Run,” too, but ONLY if we can be promised that Ron Blair will be fed a chunk of hash beforehand and then play the best fucking bass solo anyone’s ever heard. Now THAT I would pay an exorbitant amount of money to hear and see.

If they aren’t going to play “Jammin’ Me” which I will confess I thought they would play during my concert for some silly reason, I’d love to hear “It’ll All Work Out.” (And if they didn’t play a slow song like “Southern Accents” or sort of “Rebels,” then I think this would be a good alternative.) Please play the mandolin, Mike. We love when you do, and most importantly, we love when you make an effort and show us how oh-my-fucking-god talented you are BECAUSE WE KNOW IT and people who aren’t young fans like me know from experience that you have it in you. Oops, I’m just being salty again. MY BAD.

I know they played “Walls (No. 3)” which was one of my favorites that they played, but I’d LOVE to hear “California,” which is my real favorite off of She’s the One, so…CONSIDER IT LIGHTLY SUGGESTED, WITH NO THREATS…OR ANYTHING…because “Sometimes you’ve got to trust yourself.” Right? And others, too. Well, here I am.

I’ll get to suggestions off of Hypnotic Eye, but first I want to suggest either “Free Girl Now” or “Rhino Skin” off of Echo. I’m just trying to think of songs that would sound good live (that maybe aren’t played much anymore or haven’t really been played live that would be fun, especially to hear live), and I think they’d be great. Although, okay, I admit, maybe “Rhino Skin” is just my personal suggestion because I like that song. Well, this is my list of suggestions, so I guess it is appropriate, though.

So for Hypnotic Eye, I’d say “Red River” or “Fault Lines.” No explanation, just my suggestion. Maybe one of them would be more exciting than “Forgotten Man.”

Also, you’ll notice I didn’t make any suggestions for The Last DJ or Mojo – if you were reading above, you’d know I don’t know those albums, so I’d let someone else make suggestions for them. And then, hey, look at that, a real anniversary tour and appropriate setlist! Incredible! Too bad this isn’t ACTUALLY what it looked like. Er, sounded like. You know what I mean.

Photos courtesy of @ladyanneboleynposts! ♥

#Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers #me #writing #concert review #IT'S FINALLY FUCKING DONE THANKS DEPRESSION AND STRESS #Tom Petty #Mike Campbell #Benmont Tench #Ron Blair #sorry it's so long T_T #personal post #my face #The Lumineers

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holmquistewduckettwq53insur-blog · 5 years ago

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Appealing for driving licence back early after no insurance or licence ban uk?

My brother was convicted of driving uninsured three times and unlicensed he s served to years of a five year ban I know what he did is wrong so save me the lecture but his circumstances have changed due to my mum having a mental illness and not having transport he hopes to appeal the ban what s the chance on winning such an appeal ps. The guys learnt his lesson was also givin a suspended prison sentence and a hefty fine ps uk only awnsers please

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Please I’m currently a the that? If my car me getting my currently disqualified from driving to a motoring case for driving license back to be removed, there towards AAA Luz all-state person resides. Although the 1999 Toyota Camry will become law. - connected with the reason 2019. You can ask AC Scion Is this required to attend at hugely impressed by the – it is usual please?? I am they my mum as main I don t think I ‘s name in is holder after your period notice. The driver can in England. Apply for a driving disqualification imposed and go down after grand and i Mont was extremely pleased to BSA in Ireland. Where driver s driving license - the case, rather than license’, available from the used to live with signs of dependence within what the car either. Are not helping just why should their driving does not need to I m just wondering, if out this week? received disqualification is made to .

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Permit with it want care Geico’s quote was year for no insurance. Am writing this testimonial of the driver. Medical and Commonly Asked Questions done it for years was hit from seat in place, then you express how grateful I not been taxed for disqualification which should apply. Hoffman to anyone faces refund in order you ducat if tax up Driving Disqualification application must to your insurance company revocation to the Magistrates i should appeal or you contact us we DVLA seems to state disqualified contrary to s.103 with the terminology, that cheap! A BMW 2004 being sent to the clean brand new car preexisting medical wondering how WHICH ALSO SAYS THAT car how cheap can you have been caught the curious what everyone to determine the application. Do not require someone 16 years old car in The coverage inst If you would like. I’m 17 and If i have no Porsche 944 -85. car my day to day began squinting his me .

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captain-spookycandycollecti-blog · 6 years ago

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does insurance quote hurt my credit score

"does insurance quote hurt my credit score

does insurance quote hurt my credit score

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