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smok3r7 · 11 months ago

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Latching On To You

Joel Miller x F!reader

Explicit, 18+

Chapter Four: Picking Up The Pieces

Series Masterlist & My Main Masterlist - My Ao3

Series summary: What happens when, after thirteen loving years of being with Joel, you start to feel like he’s slipping away from your grasp? How much of yourself will you lose because of the trauma your father put you through at such a young age? You could be wrong about Joel, but something is telling you otherwise - or are you just not healed enough to see past your own insecurities?

Chapter summary: That night in the hospital, you’re left to think about what happened to you and you blame yourself for it all. You then attach to Joel all over again, wishing you two never fought. You are allowed to go home where your nightmares become violent for a night and Joel is there for you. The truth comes out about Joel and Samantha, which leads the two of you to try to trust one another again.

Word count: 4.1k

Warnings: slight age difference (35/40), No use of y/n, no outbreak AU, no Sarah AU, angst, (TW)NIGHTMARES OF SA, reader in hospital (not whole time), Joel cheating accusation explained, rough unprotected P in V, oral (receiving), fingering, daddy kink

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You're all, I need

To get by, ah

You're all, I need

To get by, ah

Shorty I'm there for you anytime you need me

For real girl, it's me in your world,

believe me nothing make a man feel better than a woman

Queen with a crown that be down for whatever

There are few things that's forever, my lady

-I’ll Be There For You / You’re All I Need, by: Method Man & Mary J. Blige

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You’ve finally worked up the courage to tell Joel about how this all happened, you open your mouth to start, but your mom appears in the doorway. Your lips shut tightly, she doesn’t need to hear this right now, you don’t want her to be overwhelmed.

“Hi mama,” You coo, she hums and kisses your cheek while she sits on the chair next to you, “Maybe, you should go home and get some rest, I’m sure you’ve been here since early this morning.” You glanced at the clock on the wall and you couldn’t believe that it read “9:55PM”, you had been out since you were brought in.

“Babydoll, I can stay.” She quickly returns, you know she can, however she needs a real bed to sleep on - not the little couch-beds here. “Mama, I know you can but,” you muster out as sternly as you can and her glossy eyes stare at you, “Go home and sleep. I’m okay, I’m safe, Joel is here. I love you, I am sorry for doing this to you. But please, for me, can you go home?”

You two are holding each other's arms facing one another, your moms lips are trembling as she tries to hold it together. “I’m okay mom.” You whisper and pull her into you, she squeezes your body as she hesitates, “Okay baby, okay. But if anything changes, call me. I love you so much, we’ll get a chance to talk soon, I’ll be back first thing in the morning.”

You squeeze your mom once more, she kisses your cheek as she pulls away. “Watch over my little girl, she needs you honey.” She smiles at Joel, who smiles back, stands up, and walks around the bed, “I’ll walk you to your car, okay?”

You love how Joel treats your mom, you wish she would find someone in times like this, but she always tells you, “Why would I find a man for when I’m down? I got Joel and Tommy for that!” Which always made you laugh but you knew she meant that and those two boys were more than willing to help with anything she needed.

She makes sure you’re comfortable one more time before she leaves, Joel mouths “I’ll be right back love.” You smile and nod your head towards him, then he’s shutting the door behind him as he’s out in the hallway walking with your mom.

—

Now left to your own devices, you settle back in bed and finally start to process the events of last night. The start of it all obviously being the fight with Joel the previous night, that was the rock thrown into the glass house - everything shattering afterwards.

Your mind then automatically jumps to Veronica - the cause for last night's chaos. You never would have sprinted outside by yourself or been sexually and physically assaulted if she didn’t pull out the coke. Even though it was your decision to take it, she still had no right to not even ask you and she knew you were pretty much blackout drunk - which she was not.

“You fucking idiot.” You scoff at yourself and tilt your head up with your eyes closed, with your eyes not straining from the obnoxious hospital lights, a sudden feeling of relief rushes through your body - the throbbing and swelling have now become tolerable.

You can’t believe you almost got yourself killed, you’re lucky that Rita found you when she did. The sound of the door creaking catches you off-guard.

—

“Just me darlin’,” Joel’s southern voice carries as he comes in, “She’s on her way home now, said she’ll text when she gets there.”

“Good, good. Did she say anything else?” You ask him still with your eyes closed and head back, you feel like he’s holding back something. “Yeah but don’t worry about it, just asked how I was.” Joel shakes it off like his emotions don’t matter in this situation, which is bullshit, but you only hum in response - too weak to fire back.

You hear him taking his denim jacket off and throwing it onto the dark brown couch to the right of you, “before you come over here, can you please dim the light baby?” You whine, he chuckles to himself and the light shining over you gets darker behind your eyelids.

“More?” He asks after dimming them about fifty percent, “No that’s good, thank you.” You reply as you open your eyes to look at him, “Now come lay with me.” Now feeling the pain almost disappear behind your eyes just from the dimmer lights, you scoot to your side to make room for him. “Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” he confesses as he kicks his cowboy boots off, gets under the thin covers, and holds you in his strong warm arms.

“My sweet girl. My only girl. My fighter. My resilient warrior. You, my dear, are incredible.” Joel affirms you with his low voice, causing his words to have a little drawl to them, and places random kisses to your forehead, instinctively you smile while feeling you’re at home again.

You inhale his scent to familiarize yourself with him again because it’s been days without him, you feel like you can’t remember his smell. Joel has this intoxicating smell of smoke, whiskey, sweat, and faded cologne - which you absolutely love and crave to be around.

A calm silence falls between the two of you, just your breathing along with the beeps from the machines connected to you and the busyness of the hospital outside your door, which has all happened to become white noise to you.

But your mind still starts to wander and you’re curious if he wants to talk about it now, but honestly, you don’t want to. You just want to enjoy his presence and touch - which you’ve missed immensely, like he was a ghost who happened to live again.

“We’ll talk when we’re home. Don’t worry about that right now darlin’.” Joel interrupts your mental worries with a sleepy tone, his southern twang thicker, which you always thought was sexy. “Okay.” You whisper and bury yourself closer into the dark blue flannel he was wearing, as a prideful smile washes over your face - Joel just read your mind.

—

The overbearing shadow behind your body has you imprisoned between the wall and itself, while it gropes your helpless body. The shadow's hand covers your mouth from any words or noises escaping, the stench of cigarettes and street garbage fills your nose - making you gag on its fingers that are strangling your face.

The sounds from the shadows mouth filling your ear with vile moans and grunts, your body is fighting to get away, but the weight of the dark figure is too overwhelming. Then the sudden sensation of pressure from behind makes every inch of you freeze in an instant, there was no way you could escape it.

—

“NO NO! HELP ME! ANYONE HELP!” Still somewhat asleep, you are screaming at the top of your lungs as you kick and punch whatever is around you. “Hey it’s okay it’s okay! You’re safe!” Joel repeats as he shoots up from next to you and pulls your flailing body into the space between his open legs and on his broad chest.

“No no no!” You whisper with your voice now raspy and body now stiff as a board, eyes staring off into oblivion. Joel’s rocking your body back and forth as you lay lifeless in his arms, “You’re home baby, Joel’s here with you. You’re home.” The deep country accent breaks your mind from the fake reality and brings you back to your actual reality.

Your vision now shifts around the bedroom you and Joel have shared for just over a decade, the walls a maple brown shade filled with pictures of memories you two share, the cream ceiling with the golden three bulb light fixture the both of you fell in love with, are the first things you notice.

As you look to your left you see the closet that you and Joel share, his flannels mixed with your clothes, you're relieved at the sight. The slight breeze you feel from your right catches your attention, you turn to see the light brown curtains flowing from the windows being cracked, the smell of the outside coming in reminds you that you are indeed home.

With your emotions now under control, you look up at Joel, who is staring down at you with terror in his eyes, you instinctively grab his face and kiss him. You know he needs this - honestly you do too. He breaks the kiss with hesitation, “Are you okay?” He asks as softly as he can.

“I am now.” You reply to him with your arms now wrapped around the back of his neck and his arms wrapped around your body, and you truly are okay but you still have this nagging thought in your head about Samantha. You two have been back home for two days and you’ve talked about the night at Devil’s River, but you have not talked about the fight between you two.

Again, Joel reads your mind as he tilts his head to the side and advises you, “Darlin’, if there’s something wrong…you gotta tell me, I’m not a damn mind reader.” You stare at his sun kissed eyes and laugh at him, a laugh that you haven’t felt in a week. One that makes you fold into his chest, “What’s so funny about that?” He asks with genuine confusion about why you’re laughing so hard.

“It’s just, you're talking about,” you start and then continue in a Joel voice with air quotes, “I’m not a damn mind reader..” - “I do not sound like that!” He interrupts your mockery of him with a chuckle. “Sure thing honey, but anyways, there is one thing I need to ask you about and now or never I guess.” You start out, scooting back just a little so you can look at him without having to touch him, in case you don’t get the answer you’re yearning for.

Confusion grows on Joel’s tired face but he calmly replies, “Shoot love.” You are no longer scared to ask this question, no anxiety about it, you just want to know the honest answer. “Was there anything between Samantha and you?” You ask with a tone of sincerity that you don’t think you’ve heard yourself ever have, your face having no giveaway of your heart beating, anticipating the worst.

“We kissed once,” your breath catches in your throat, you’re about to snap when he continues, “She initiated it, then I stopped it immediately and had her moved to a different department a week before our fight. I was oblivious to her feelings towards me the whole time she was working with me, not an excuse, I know. But I am sorry for how I let her control my life and how I happened to stray away from you and our home together.” Joel confesses to you while he’s holding your hands in between your bodies on the mattress.

Your chest tight from the blood fueled rage, finally relaxes and you swallow whatever evil thing you were holding in since he started to speak, almost immediately forgiving Joel, because it wasn’t what you thought had happened.

You jump into his arms causing him to fall back on the mattress and your body now covering his, and you leave random kisses over his face and neck. “I’m so sorry. Thank you for telling me. I love you so much.” Joel has his arms wrapped around your waist which is covered by one of Joel’s million Texas Football T-shirts, his hands travel up and down your back, then they travel lower to your ass which he grabs a handful of and says, “God you are insane, I love it.”

You instinctively sit up while Joel is still laying down, hands on his chest and you roll your hips onto his, you feel his cock start to grow under your panties that are soaked from your own arousal. His hands grab your hips to stop them for a second and he asks, “Are you sure darlin’?” You’re pleased he’s so considerate but right now, you just need to be fucked so you can’t think straight.

“Just fuck me until I’m seeing stars…daddy.” You reply with a smirk, after saying that, Joel smoothly flips positions with you. Suddenly you’re on your back while he’s kneeling between your legs, “Well, baby girl. You gotta lose the shirt, I need to see all of you.” He whispers as he leans over you and kisses your neck, you moan as a rebuttal. You break the heated kisses, as you slide the shirt over your head and throw it across the room.

“That’s better,” his voice smooth and deep as he stares at your tits, his mouth then immediately on your nipples, he licks and sucks on one as his fingers play with the other. The whimpers that come out of your mouth are pathetic, but honestly you don’t care, Joel was all over you and that’s all you need.

Even though you love Joel taking his time with you, you’re slowly growing impatient, your hands travel to his bed head curls and you tug them, making him look into your eyes, “If you don’t fuck me right now, I’m gonna lose it Joel.”

“How about this then baby?” Is all he asks then he leaves a trail of sloppy kisses, like he’s creating a map down your belly, to your mound, then down your inner thighs, but he retreats back and hovers right over your covered pussy.

You are a whimpering mess from the games he’s playing, but honestly you love when he does this, the anticipation makes this more exciting. His fingers then loop around the string of your panties and pulls them off of you slowly, discarding them on the floor.

Then, like a lightning strike, his hot mouth is on your aching clit, causing you to arch your back and a fuck, escapes your mouth. His tongue swipes between your throbbing clit and dripping hole that’s just waiting to be filled. Your eyes shut from the intense pleasure, your hands find his curls once again and you start to grind on his face.

Joel’s hands wrap around your thighs from underneath and opens you up more for him as he continues to devour your soaking cunt.

Your moans are becoming louder and messier, your hips begin to sputter, you feel that tightening coil in your abdomen begin and you open your eyes to see Joel staring up at you, he smirks at you. Suddenly your aching hole is filled by two of Joel’s fingers, your face contorts in pure pleasure. “That’s right, you love it when daddy fills you up with his fingers.” Joel snarls, then proceeds to suck your clit.

The sensation of being filled by his fingers, his beard scraping your thighs and mound, and his tongue swirling around you, has you moaning his name and sweet nothings. Your legs start to shake around his head causing the coil in your belly to snap, your back arching again and hands falling into his hair, as you come and your juices squirt onto Joel’s face, but he does not stop.

He’s still licking, sucking, and fingering like he just can’t get enough of you, almost like he’s starving and you are the first thing he’s tasted in years. The overstimulation causes you to try to crawl away but his grasp on your thighs keeps you in place, you cry from the intense pleasure from Joel’s mouth still licking up the last of your juices mixed with his saliva. “Joel, pleaseee.” You pant as sweat and goosebumps start to cover your skin, Joel does one last lick starting from your asshole, to your leaking cunt, then flicking your clit, causing your body to jolt.

“That’s my good girl. Love when you shake for daddy.” His voice low and heavy, looking through your heavy lids, you see Joel crawling back up your body and he now hovers over your face.

Without hesitation, you grab his slick-covered face and pull him into a steamy, messy kiss that is filled with your tongues exploring each other and teeth clashing together. The taste of your arousal and his saliva fills your mouth and you moan in his mouth, your hands move down to his boxers and with the best of your ability you try to pull them down, but with him being bigger than you, it’s too difficult. “Joel, please?”

You pull away from his mouth and make a pouty face, “use your words sweet girl, I know you can.” He responds with a sly smile as he sits back on his knees and heels between your spread legs.

Your mind is racing, yet buzzing from the orgasm he just pulled from you. You just want him to lead, but you know he loves to see you plead and beg for him. Then lowering your eyes, the sight of his cock straining in his black boxers and a circle of wetness of precum near the top of his cock, makes you wet immediately.

An idea pops into your head, your lips curl into a smile, “Okay daddy,” you start as you sit up on your elbows and roll over onto all fours, sticking your ass in the air, arching your back, and your face down in the plush safe green pillows, “I want you to fuck me…please” you seduce him with your low voice and the wave like motion of your ass. His eyes are fixated on your sudden confidence and he growls, “If that’s what my pretty girl wants, my pretty girl will get it.”

His hands are on your ass and spreads your cheeks to expose your pulsating pussy, a drop of your arousal rolls down your inner thigh but is stopped by Joel’s cock. Leaking precum and throbbing, he drags himself up to your leaking hole and he slowly inserts his cock.

You moan into the pillows from the sudden intrusion. “God you just suck me in baby, like I’m meant to be in you.” Joel’s southern charm and the feeling every inch of him slide into your tight cunt, makes your stomach flip with excitement.

He bottoms out in you, his balls settle on your clit as he waits for your walls to adjust to him. “Move daddy,” you plead with him, as you try to push your ass into him, “hold on baby girl,” he grunts as he grips your hips to stabilize himself, “you’re just so tight, don’t want it to end.” You moan and bring your hands, that were by your head, behind you to try to touch whatever you could of Joel, but before you could reach him, his hands leave your hips and snatches your hands and crosses them behind your back as he starts to pound into your pulsating pussy.

The moan that leaves your throat is guttural and broken, this is what you needed, to be used. “Yes yes yes-“ you repeat into the pillows as your body moves to Joel’s rhythm. His cock is hitting your cervix in a way that is painful but pleasurable at the same time, you feel full from Joel’s cock. “Look at your little pussy, swallowing my cock like a big girl.” He growls through his teeth, then he pulls your shoulders up so your back is aligned with his chest, his hand wraps around the front of your neck and squeezes the sides as he continues to ram himself into you.

“I’m all yours daddy, I belong to you.” You cried out when he released the tightness around your throat before he tightened his large hand again. His other hand lowers and collects the mix of his and your arousal, then slowly circles your clit, this is what breaks you for the second time.

A string of curses leave your lips as you turn your head to look at Joel, his chocolate eyes heavy as he gazes at yours as you coo, “Cum in me daddy, please.”

“Whatever you want, sweet girl.” Joel whispers in your ear, leaving bites where his mouth is. His fingers on your clit bringing your second orgasm to life, this one has your body frozen in his grasp as you release everything in you. Your mouth is gaped open as broken whimpers and moans leave it, Joel then picks up his pace for a second, then you feel his body halt to a stop as a feeling of his warm seed shoots into you. Fuckkk, drawls out of his mouth that rests on the back of your shoulder.

You two stay like that for a minute, both catching your breath, Joel’s just holding you as you lean back into his warm, sweaty touch. “Holy shit,” Joel is the first to speak, you laugh as you reply, “Holy shit is right.” He releases you from his grasp, the feeling of him slowly slips out of your cunt and you both wince at the loss of each other.

The feeling of his spend mixed with yours streams out and down your thighs, Joel gets your attention by grabbing your chin and pulls you in to kiss again, this time is a caring and tender kiss.

You pull yourself away from his sweet lips and you strut towards the bathroom, you reach the doorway that connects the two rooms and you lean your body on it as you turn around to look at Joel and ask, “You coming to shower or what?” He growls at your request and jumps up to follow and join you in the shower, to start the life you two have shared over again

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