#I’m always told I should be grateful or that I would be nothing in India which is just racist

[megandzane]

It’s so insane the gaslighting that poc in white or multiracial families face when we express any resentment about being brought up in environments where we were not protected.

[quillify-tries-to-talk]

Yet Another Rewrite (Part 2)

For the thomstair appreciation week by @youngreckless ik it's over. Sorry I'm late :(

You can read part 1 here then come back and read this one.

Thomas and Alastair working things out part 2. Enjoy!

Tw: mentions of racism, bullying, abuse, colonialism

"Even our angels have mercy, Thomas." His voice was hollow now. 

Despair threatened to pull him under. It wasn't worth it. Anything. He would always be like this. It was a miracle even Cordelia was able to look him in the eye without hate. He did deserve this, he thought, settling back on his bed, all the fight drained. He deserved every blow and every bruise he'd inflicted on others.

Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa 

Funny that he now remembered his Latin lessons.

The bed dipped under Thomas's heavier weight, and he felt a flash of warmth when hesitant fingers crept over his skin. Too close. He was too close. 

Let go, he wanted to say, but lies seemed to evade him whenever Thomas Lightwood was present. His eyes looked dark brown in the dim lighting. There were  dents on his bottom lip where he must have bitten it. It took everything in him to not let his hands rise and trace the lines of his jaw.

"I remember Paris."

Alastair's eyes widened. He sat frozen, and Thomas took that as his cue to continue. "You were kind to me when I was very alone, and I am grateful." He looked up, face a bit red. "It was the first time I realized you could be kind.”

He tried not to let the last comment needle him. “It is my favorite memory of Paris as well.”

“You don’t have to say that. I know you were there with Charles.”

His jaw went tight. Not that. Anything but that. "Charles Fairchild? What about him?”

Thomas cocked his head to the side, his expression innocent. “Wouldn’t that be your best memory of Paris?”

“Exactly what are you suggesting?”

“I’m not suggesting anything." His tone indicated the exact opposite though. Cheeky little–

"I’ve seen the way you look at Charles, the way he looks at you. I’m not an idiot, Alastair, and I’m asking …” Thomas shook his head, sighing. 

He was going to say it. Right here. Angel help him.

“I suppose I’m asking if you’re like me.”

There it was. 

Perhaps he could salvage this conversation. He gathered his thoughts, straightened out of his slouching position.

“Thomas Lightwood,” he said. “I am nothing like you."

Thomas stared as if he'd been clubbed on the head, eyes dazed in shock again. He was shuffling from side to side, probably preparing to launch himself far, far away from him.

A bit more effort, dâdâsh, Layla said in his head, amused and exasperated.

Right. “I am nothing like you, Thomas." His breathing was faltering again, throat closing up, fighting against the vulnerability he was exposing. “Because you are one of the better people I have ever known. You have a kind nature and a heart like some knight out of legend. Brave and proud and true and strong. All of it.” 

He smiled bitterly. “And all the time you have known me, I have been a terrible person. So, you see. We are nothing at all alike.”

His head snapped up, surprise etched on his features. His eyes started twinkling again. What was he doing to him? Even looking at him made Alastair want to smile. 

He hadn't wanted to smile in a long, long time.

"I'm not—" Thomas broke off. "That's not what I meant."

Don't I know that, eshgham? "I know what you meant." His voice had softened. The words hung in the air for a moment. But he needed some answers of his own now. "How did you know about Charles?"

“You wouldn’t tell me what you were doing in Paris,” Thomas replied. Alastair thought he heard a note of hurt in his voice, but promptly dismissed the notion. “But you mentioned Charles, over and over again, like you got pleasure out of just saying his name. And when you came to London this summer, I saw the way you looked at him. I know what it is to have to hide the—the signs of affection.”

“Then I imagine you may have noticed I don’t look at Charles that way anymore.”

What did you just say, Carstairs? Admitting to your own failures now? Couldn't even hold on to first love?

His jaw tightened again. Get out of my head, baba. Charles. Get out, both of you.

“I suppose I did,” Thomas said. “Though for the past four months, I’ve been trying not to look at you. I told myself I hated you. But I could never really make myself. When Elias died, all I could think about was you. What you must be feeling.”

His father's name reopened the gashes on his heart. Heat sparked behind his eyelids. “I insulted your father and blackened his name. You were under no obligation to care about mine.”

“I know, but sometimes I think that it is much harder to lose someone who we are on bad terms with than it is to lose someone with whom all is well.”

“Bloody hell, Thomas. You should hate me, not be thinking about what I must be feeling—” Alastair passed a hand over his face. It came back wet with tears. He didn’t even know when that happened. He’d never had an audience for his crying before. 

"But I do," said Thomas softly. His fingers ghosted higher along Alastair's wrist, making his heart skip a beat. Once, twice, three times.

Bewildered, he marvelled at the sensation such a small touch could cause. 

"I'm sorry." Thomas's voice was soft, filled with guilt. His head bowed as if in prayer. "I—what you said. What happened at school." His gaze trailed over Alastair's features, and he shook his head. "I always found you beautiful. Then and now. I didn't know people hated how you looked. You're like a poem, but in human form."

"Poem," Alastair repeated numbly. If his brain had short-circuited before, it was blown to bits now. No one had ever called him that.

Charles had called him a beautiful secret. His safe haven. His comfort and best friend.

Never a poem.

"Yes." Thomas's cheeks were slowly flushing rose. Another nice contrast with his skin and hair. "Graceful. Elegant. Confident. You were always so poised and sharp. Like one of Jamie's knives. You were smart, managed to turn people over. They listened to you. Look what you did just now. I didn't know what to do. If I wanted you. Or if I wanted to be you. Remember when I followed you around school?"

Alastair's rusty throat muscles regained a bit of their ability. He wanted me? It wasn’t the best, but it was okay. Charles had wanted him. It hadn’t been too bad. Until the end. Until the horror of his actions had dawned on him. Until he realized that all his time spent with Charles had been wasted in tending to his needs, not Alastair’s. He hadn’t even known a relationship required his own needs to be taken care of. That it was a necessity. 

"I remember,” he managed. “Then I met you in Paris and you’d grown up and turned into Michelangelo’s David. I thought you were beautiful. But I was still caught up with Charles—” He broke off, regret weighting his stomach. “Just another thing I’ve wasted. Your regard for me. I wasted my time and my affection on Charles. I wasted my chance with you.”

Thomas blinked. And blinked. And blinked. A pulse had started in the base of his neck, thudding against the delicate skin. Alastair raised his eyes only to find him already staring. 

"Thomas?" His name tasted strange on his tongue.

"You said angels too have mercy," he said in answer. "I—I must apologize. I'll admit I didn't know how people treated your family. I have been sheltered in that regard."

"You must know where those indigo-dyed silks came from," said Alastair softly. They were from India. Ariadne had mentioned it during their little dance, the news that had trickled in. The brown-skinned, hollow-eyed servants brought in for labour by mundanes and Shadowhunters alike. "Or why England never has a shortage of adamas, but my country does." 

That one was still going on. Britain liked guising their nefarious schemes behind offers of trade. 

He released a sigh, shaking his head in despondence. "They never tell you. Layla and I knew because we saw it happen; we know our histories ever since we could walk and talk. And it still happens. It's more than demons and humans for us. It’s always been that way." He held one brown hand up to the light, and Thomas’s eyes followed. “This isn’t apparently how we were supposed to look. I tried changing that, and it did work for sometime but.. I hated myself even then. I hated my family and my culture and my books. Do you flinch from your own face, Thomas? I always did. Still do, sometimes. 

“I hate that my skin isn’t like yours. If it was, perhaps people wouldn’t have said so many things. Perhaps I wouldn’t have as many bruises.” He leaned his head back against the wall, ignoring the tightness in his chest. “In another life, perhaps we would’ve had our chance, you and I.”

His words ended with a plaintive note; the bone-deep weariness that there was nothing he could do, aside from ripping off his own skin or trying to be like his father. In appearance, at least. They remained silent for a long while, but it was the thoughtful sort. Alastair didn't know how many hours he passed by just counting the cracks in the walls when Thomas's voice pierced the quiet.

"Teach me."

He jerked awake. "What?"

"You said there are things I don't know about you. About where you come from and what you and Cordelia have to face. And… perhaps I'd like to know. I'd like to understand how the world works." A small smile ticked up the corners of his mouth, and Alastair found himself besotted by the expression.

By the Angel. Definitely not coming out in one piece.

"You'd like to… umm…" Words had fled when he'd needed them most. Damn you, Thomas. 

Thomas’s fingers enclosed over his wrists. The warmth was steadying, comforting. His expression was hesitant, at odds with the way his body commandeered space. “I want help. Really, truly. I found myself fascinated in Spain by the difference in language and culture. And then Paris. One-time travel gave me a different perspective, so imagine what more knowledge would do.” He was practically shaking with excitement at the prospect of learning of his ancestor’s atrocities. “You’ll be teaching me, so it won’t feel like a debt to you.”

“Are you sure you want to know, Thomas? People have done some terrible things.”

“I need to know what I’m redeeming myself for before I ask for forgiveness.” His hazel eyes were clear, expression determined. Like a knight readied for battle. A scholar rewriting history on pages. 

Alastair felt his throat tighten at his excitement. He wasn’t used to any of this. Apologies. Forgiveness. Love. Hope. His story was supposed to have died after all his attempts to apologize to The Merry Thieves. He’d failed then to ask for friends, so why would someone give him another chance?

“And maybe you’re wrong,” Thomas added in what was supposed to be a nonchalant tone, but Alastair detected a slight tremor in it. “About me.”

“Speak sense, Lightwood.” His tone sharpened, a defense against his wrecked emotional state. “What do you mean?”

“I mean this.” In answer, Thomas hooked his hands around Alastair’s shoulders, and the sudden onslaught of warmth and gentleness made his body sway with the sheer impossibility of the situation. No glass. No manipulation. Nothing but warmth and truth and compromise. The good sort. 

This had to be a dream. He would wake up any time now, but he couldn’t stop staring at him. Couldn't stop admiring his smile, the brightness of his eyes, the shape of his mouth, that damned pulse at his throat. And more. His strength. His passion for learning. His bravery in venturing after a killer alone. The openness of his heart.

I’m not worth it, Alastair wanted to say, but by then his head had fallen on his shoulder, nestled in the crook of Thomas’s neck. He felt lighter than air. For the first time, his head felt empty of anything: trouble, grief, responsibilities, duties. It was just them. Thomas with his arms around him, holding him in the storm of his life. His heartbeat was a steady clock that Alastair could time his breaths to. 

With Charles it had been all heat and desire, and the furious pounding of his heart in the thrill of being wanted by someone. This felt like coming home, sitting down for a cup of tea with his favourite book. Warm and right and natural. Tears slipped down his cheeks, freed after years and years of being locked away for the sake of his family. 

Thomas set his lips to Alastair’s brow. 

His body seized up at the soft pressure. It felt like someone had poured sunlight into his veins. Another tear slipped down his cheek. Impossible. Wake up, now. Happiness wasn’t a part of your life. But he was still here, feeling Thomas lean his cheek against his hair. Through the swirl of emotions, he heard his voice again.

“We’ll get past this together. I will relearn you, Alastair.” The sound of his name on Thomas’s lips sent his heart careening again. “Negaran nabash.”

Don't worry. Even with the different cadence, it would’ve been hard to miss. Thomas had just spoken in Persian. 

Lifting his head, he raised an eyebrow. “Where did you learn that?”

“Oh. Umm. Just something…” That adorable smile surfaced again. “A little hobby? Like Kit and his test tubes?”

Shaking his head, Alastair allowed himself a little smile. Perhaps, it had been worth it to risk his neck. For this. Only for this.

Taglist: @cherilyn-rose @youngreckless @eugeniaslongsword @nott-the-best (2nd part eeeeeeee🥳🥳🥳) @cant-think-of-anything @livingformyself

[captainscanadian]

Love Me Blue | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Janmashtami)

My Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Summary: When you were younger, you had always dreamed of falling in love with someone who would love you like Lord Krishna loved Radha. A dream that once felt as though it was silly no longer felt that way. 

Word Count: 4400+

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Tamilian!Hindu!Reader

Warnings: MINIMAL TAMIL SONG LYRICS (I’m more than happy to translate!) & TAMIL CULTURE, References to Hinduism, PTSD, Insomnia, Endgame References.

A/N: This is my entry for @bucky-smiles​‘s 3K Diversity Writing Challenge! My prompt was to write a fic with a Hindu reader. I decided to write this fic with a Tamilian reader because I am Tamilian. I was born in Sri Lanka and my mother’s side of the family are Hindu. Although I consider myself an agnostic theist, I do enjoy reading the epics of Mahabharata and Ramayana. I hope everyone had a wonderful Janmashtami. Along with Lord Krishna himself, it’s also @jalapenobarnes​‘ birthday this weekend so please go shower Saran with all the love. This one’s for you, my chellam! <3 Pics are off of Pinterest! 

Bucky Barnes watched curiously as he sat cross-legged on the tiled floor of your living quarters, splashing a handful of water on the bright green banana leaf that you had laid out in front of him. 

Even though your apartment had a designated dining room with an oak wood table and chairs, he wondered why you preferred to be eating on the living room floor. Not to mention the way you had chosen to serve him on a banana leaf than a plate. 

As much as he found it bizarre, he was also curious about the traditions that you seemed to follow. Not just through the way you ate your meals, but also the way you honored your dead best friend and the way you had filled your apartment with idols and paintings of your Hindu God. It came as a surprise to him that someone as young and well-educated as yourself could even hold onto the traditions that you had been raised with despite having settled away from your home for years. 

Bucky had been surprised to find that as the decades had progressed, traditions had evolved with the emergence of a post-modern society. The way people had practiced religion had also evolved with time, but the way you practiced yours seemed to be the same as the way his own mother had practiced hers back in the day. 

You did not conform to modern life for the sake of it, and he found that inspiring. The old Bucky who had always been fascinated by all that science had to offer would probably disagree with you. But having lived a whole century as one of HYDRA’s science experiments made him wish that he could return to the pre-modern society that he had been born into. He hated confirming with the status quo as much as the next guy, but seeing you made him realize that he did not need to force himself to confirm either. He could be himself, as long as he could figure out who exactly he was meant to be. 

“According to my grandmother, eating off of a banana leaf is a lot more healthier than eating off of a plate. Apparently the nutrients in the leaf can mix with the food.” You explained to him as you served him some of the rice, careful not to overcrowd the banana leaf. You knew that he was unfamiliar with the dishes, but also appreciated that he was willing to try out a new cuisine at this witching hour. “She said that it’s good for the immune system, prevents intestinal ulcers, skin diseases… soothes the stomach, helps with digestion and prevents kidney stones.” 

He nodded, understandably. “Right…” He agreed, not having the heart to tell you that the super soldier serum in his body ensured that his cells would constantly regenerate and prevent him from falling ill. Nevertheless, he found your endearment quite refreshing. You really did treat him like he was Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th and not the Winter Soldier, and he was grateful for that. 

“We’re used to eating off of the leaf during special occasions or when we have guests.” You added. “There’s a Buddhist and Hindu philosophy... Atithi Devo Bhava. It literally means that the guests must be given the same respect as you would give to your Gods. And since you’re my guest tonight, you get the banana leaf.” 

“I’m no God, Y/N.” Bucky clarified, sighing as he ran his metal hand through his greasy hair. “I’m a human being, a brainwashed assassin, a weapon of destruction who brought so much pain in people’s lives. I don’t deserve to be treated with so much respect.” 

“Bucky…” You frowned at his words before shaking your head. “As the one who spent most of my life studying the life of Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th, I beg to differ. I know that you have a lot of internalized guilt about those days and I don’t blame you for that. But you can’t let the Winter Soldier define who you are. You’re more than who you used to be when you were brainwashed. It wasn’t who you were.” 

“To be honest, I don’t even think I know who I am anymore…” He admitted, a truth that he hadn’t told anyone else at the compound but felt that he could trust you with.. “But I know for sure that I don’t deserve to be respected like you respect your God.” 

“You should let me be the judge of that. My concept of God is actually quite different from the Abrahamic religions that you happen to be familiar with.” You protested with a soft chuckle, crossing your legs to sit across from him. “My grandmother once told me that Lord Krishna… being the God of love and compassion, he’s always present in one’s heart. Wherever there’s love, he’s always there. If there’s love in your heart, he’s there. And that makes you just as Godly as anyone else.”  

“I’m the world’s longest prisoner of war who spent most of my life imprisoned in a cryofreezer. There’s nothing Godly about the life that I’ve had to live.” He shook his head. “If anything, I’m a symbol of pain and suffering.” 

“Well, Lord Krishna was born in prison.” You remarked. “His life was meant to be filled with so much love… It started on Janmashtami, in a prison cell where his parents were locked up by his own maternal uncle. Even in all that pain and suffering, the betrayal that Lord Krishna’s parents had to face… they were blessed with a child who was the incarnate of the supreme God himself. All that pain and suffering led to some kind of reward, and I’m sure you’ll get yours in due time. Sri Krishna never discriminates, and he forgives those who are truly remorseful of their sins. He’s the God of compassion after all.” 

Bucky could not help but chuckle softly at your words. For every word of self-hatred that came out of his mouth, you had your own rebuttal that was rooted in your faith. He was left with no choice but to accept his defeat and give in to being treated as your guest for the night. It was the least he could do other than make use of that computer he had been given to catch up with the world by looking up Lord Krishna. “So, what’s on the menu for tonight?”

“Okay!” You exclaimed, pointing to the rice dish that you had placed in the center of the leaf. “Ven pongal, basically made from rice and yellow lentils. It’s also got some peppercorns, cumin, turmeric, ginger, curry leaves and cashews that I fried in some clarified butter. That’s why it smells so good. Don’t worry about the spices though. This is probably the mildest dish I’ve ever eaten in my life.” 

Bucky nodded as he looked up at you. “Do you make this often?”

“It’s a traditional breakfast food in South India, but it also makes for the ultimate comfort food when I’m missing home.” You replied with a shrug of your shoulders before grabbing the bowl of sambar and pouring it over the rice. “Now this might be a little spicy for you. But it’s the side dish of all side dishes. Sambar, basically a mixed vegetable stew with lentils and spices. Great with most South Indian breakfast foods.” 

“And what about the rest?” He asked as he eyed the remainder of the delicacies that you had laid out before him. He could not deny that the warm aroma that wafted up his nostrils made them much more appetizing. Despite it being past midnight, he was starved. 

“Medhu vada… deep fried lentil fritters, coconut chutney to dip ‘em in… and kesari, dessert made from semolina.” You pointed to the items as you placed them on the banana leaf. “I hope you don’t mind eating with your hand. We don’t really use utensils and I kind of forgot to pick some up. If it makes you feel any better, the right hand is commonly used to eat so…” You motioned towards his hand. “Dig in?”

He raised his eyebrow at your words. “I guess that was very convenient for me.” He joked before looking down at the food and back at you. “Aren’t you going to eat with me?”

You chuckled softly before shrugging at his question. “It’s alright, Bucky. I can eat after you. It’s not polite to eat before the guest.”

“Y/N, come on… you just said that you made all of this food because you were feeling homesick. I can’t eat all of this without you.” He clarified with a smile. 

You looked down at your lap in embarrassment as you felt your cheeks heat up. “I kind of only bought one banana leaf because I thought I would be the one eating all of this food.” You told him, shamelessly. “I didn't think I would have company, not that I don’t want you here or anything. I invited you to eat but… my grandmother says it’s rude to eat right out of the serving bowls if you’re going to be serving the food to someone else. I don’t mind waiting until you’re done and helping myself to your leftovers.” 

A part of him could not believe how bound you were to your grandmother’s words, especially when it came to your dining etiquette. Despite the fact that your grandmother had been someone to hold you back from your potential, he admired that you still respected her enough to follow through with the culture that she had taught you. 

“Fine, then if you don’t mind…” He reached down to grab a dollop of the pongal and sambar with his thumb and two fingers, carefully holding his hand up towards your mouth. “Let me at least feed you.”

Your eyes grew wide at his gesture and you found your cheeks heating up in embarrassment once again. “Um…” You gulped, not knowing how to react to that. A part of you wanted to accept his offer, but the pitter patter against your heart mimicked the rain against your window and caused you to become very nervous. 

As much as you had denied it when you were around the rest of the team, you knew that you did have a slight crush on Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th Infantry Regiment when you had first watched through the archival footage from the war. After all, who wouldn’t. At that time, you had believed that he was dead so it didn’t mean much. But now he was very much alive and sitting right before you. He was certainly a good looking man who’s smile could light up the world, and unbeknownst to you he had just lit up yours. 

You had spent years studying his life, along with the rest of The Howling Commandos, in the name of academic curiosity. But you could not deny that now seeing him in person changed how you really felt about this man. Not many people who studied historical figures had the chance to see them face to face. But this had happened to you twice now, and it still felt surreal. Bucky Barnes really was sitting on the floor of your living quarters, about to feed you a bite of your most favourite South Indian comfort food. What kind of idiot would you be not to accept it? 

You accepted the bite of food that Bucky had offered you, bringing your hand over to cover your mouth as you chewed. Your lips curling into a small smile as your eyes glazed over, you looked down at your lap. 

For some reason, eating from this man’s hand had made you miss your father quite so much. Seven years it had been since he had passed away. You never even got to say goodbye, the last time you had spoken on the phone being an argument that you had ended abruptly by hanging up on him. Had you known what was going to happen just hours later, you would have done things differently. You would have cherished the last moments you got to share with your father. Hell, you would have even prevented him from dying the way he did. But it was all too late now. 

Perhaps you suffered from internalized guilt just as much as the super soldier who sat before you, for you did feel partially responsible for your father’s death. Being an agent who was meant to save the world and all, you couldn’t even manage to save your own father. While this did once make you doubt your skills as an agent, you could not deny that you would give anything to be able to do right by the man who had raised you to be anything more than a typical Indian farm girl. But for now, all you had to do was exist for the sake of existing and accept the position that you had been given. Do the right thing, just as your father had taught you. 

When you had been five years old, your grandmother had told you the story of how Lord Krishna was married to more than sixteen thousand women. She had told you that he married every woman who loved him. He loved them back just as much too, being the God of love after all. But the woman he loved the most, he hadn’t even been married to her. Radha Rani was the love of his life. She was his soulmate. Despite not being married, their love for each other was so pure and eternal. 

It was then you told your father, in your childish little voice, “Appa, I want someone to love me like Lord Krishna loved Radha.” 

Now as you swallowed the bite that Bucky Barnes had fed you, you couldn't help but look over his broad shoulders. Up on the wall behind him you had hung one of the many paintings of Radha and Krishna that you owned. But in that particular one, Radha and Krishna were affectionately gazing into each other’s eyes while feeding each other. 

It didn’t seem like a sign to you then, but you prayed for some things to be made clearer in due time. After all, you were going to be here for a while. If Lord Krishna was really going to bless you with the kind of love that makes you blue after all of that pain and suffering, then you might as well accept it like you had just accepted that bite of food from Bucky. 

“Tell me the truth, Bucky.” You looked over at the man who sat next to you on the couch, his legs crossed as he leaned against the armrest. “Why are you even up at this hour?” 

Bucky Barnes looked over at you and let out a sigh, not knowing if lying to you about his insomnia would sell. After all, you seemed to know him better than he knew himself despite the fact that you had met just yesterday. While he feared that admitting the truth would cause you to become weary of him, he knew better than to lie to the woman who was in a position of authority. He had to be transparent with you, mainly because he didn’t have the heart to lie to you. 

“I can’t sleep.” He admitted, biting down on his bottom lip as he sat up straight, his elbows resting against his thighs as he covered his face with his hands. “I haven’t slept properly in a while, ever since I moved into the compound really. Every night I go to bed at a reasonable time. But I still end up waking up at this strange hour because of some nightmare.” 

Leaning over to rest your hand on his shoulder, you wanted to give him a squeeze. But you were quick to realize that his left shoulder was vibranium, so instead you moved your hand to rub his back. “Have you talked to Sam about it?” 

Not that you would assume that his friendship with Sam was anything like his friendship with Steve. As someone who had your own demons, you knew that it was not that easy to confide in someone about something like this. But you were well aware that Sam had some experience offering support groups to veterans who suffered from PTSD during his time working at the VA back in DC. He seemed to be much more equipped to handle something like this than you were, no doubt about that. But since you were now the boss around here, you knew that something needed to be done to address the mental health of your heroes.  

Bucky shook his head. “He’s always been weary of me, Y/N. I don’t think I should worry him about this. The last thing I want is for anyone to think that the Winter Soldier is still in me when he’s not.” 

“Sam can be an asshole at times… but he means well. He cares a lot about his friends, and that includes you and me.” You admitted. “But I know what you mean. What you’re going through, it’s not easy. You’ve had to deal with a lifetime’s worth of torture under HYDRA, along with the whole thing with the blip. The world has changed so much that it’s not all that easy to keep up with anymore.” 

He looked up at you and frowned. “I feel so lost, you know? Like I don’t know where I should start. I’ve missed out on seventy years of… life. The life that I knew before the war is gone and the life that I had since then… is full of torture and bloodshed. I’m just lost in the midst of it all.”

“Bucky, you do know that… if you ever want to talk about anything that has to do with history or what happened in the world during those seventy years, you can just talk to me about it, right? I may have a Master’s degree on The Howling Commandos but I do know a thing or two about what happened in the world after the war.” You offered, finally cracking a smile. “I can definitely help you out with catching up with times.” 

He chuckled softly at your words. “Is that how you and Steve… became friends?” 

You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the mention of Captain America, a man whom you had respected and aided in the recovery of until Natasha had decided to set the two of you up on a date. It was a brief fling while the two of you had worked together in DC. But once you had realized it wasn’t going to work, you had ended things amicably. While you had remained friends and you had helped him catch up with the world, things had changed so much around you. 

“Yeah, I guess.” You admitted with a shrug. “He needed someone to catch him up to the world and Fury realized that he hired a history major. I think it worked out for all of us.” Looking back now, you only felt blessed to have known Steve Rogers. He was not only an inspiration, but also one of your closest friends. “And that’s why I’m offering to help.”

“But how could you help me, Y/N?” He asked. “What can you possibly do to help me come to terms with who I am?”

“Well, I had Steve read through the Internet a lot and make a list of all the things he wanted to try… like Thai food and Sherlock Holmes. I know that you’re not going on any missions right now. You’re just hanging around the compound and trying to kill time, right? I’d say… make use of the computers we have here, learn as much as you can. We can talk about it. But don’t ever think that you’re alone in this.” 

The Internet was a great place to start learning, right? Surely, Bucky had been apprehensive about taking that step. But he needed to be given a little push. Thankfully, he now had you for that. “I guess I can do that.” He gave in, for he was starting to get bored of the facility’s gym. 

“There is something that needs to be done about your nightmares though.” You pointed out. “This compound needs an on-site therapist. I need one. You need one. Wanda needs one. We all need one after all this crap that we’ve had to deal with.” You made a mental note to make some calls in the morning, but for now you knew that your attention should be on the super soldier. “But right now, you really need to get some sleep.” 

Bucky shook his head in defeat. “I can’t seem to fall asleep in my bed, Y/N. Believe me, I’ve tried… for many nights. I guess I just have to suck it up and kill time until the morning.” 

You raised your eyebrow at his words before crossing your arms against your chest. “What? Do you need me to sing you a lullaby or something?” You asked him, teasingly. 

He laughed at your question before shaking his head. “As if that’s ever going to work on me…” 

“Is that a challenge, Sergeant Barnes?” 

Bucky Barnes had no clue how it even happened. Just twenty-four hours ago, the two of you had been strangers who had nothing in common except for the fact that you both shared a past that had been perfectly entwined somehow. But now you were sitting against the headboard of his queen sized bed in the living quarters adjacent to yours, his head resting against your lap as he shut his eyes. 

Your soft hands running through his silky dark hair, you sang the words that you had pretty much memorized by now. It was a lullaby that your grandmother had sung to you when you were younger, written about how Lord Krishna himself had fallen asleep after a long day of playing around his village. 

Ayarpadi Maaligaiyil

Thaai Madiyil Kandrinai Pol

Maaya Kannan Thoongugindraan, Thaalelo

Ayarpadi Maaligaiyil

Thaai Madiyil Kandrinai Pol

Maaya Kannan Thoongugindraan, Thaalelo

Avan Vaai Niraiya Mannai Undu

Mandalathai Kaattiya Pin

Oiveduthu Thoongugindraan, Aaraaro

Oiveduthu Thoongugindraan, Aaraaro

Ayarpadi Maaligaiyil

Thaai Madiyil Kandrinai Pol

Maaya Kannan Thoongugindraan, Thaalelo

Pinnalitta Gopiyarin Kannathile Kannam Ittu

Mannavan Pol Leelai Seidhaan Thaalelo

Pinnalitta Gopiyarin Kannathile Kannam Ittu

Mannavan Pol Leelai Seidhaan Thaalelo

Andha Mandhirathil Avar Uranga

Mayakkathile Ivan Uranga

Mandalame Urangudhammaa Aaraaro

Mandalame Urangudhammaa Aaraaro

Ayarpadi Maaligaiyil

Thaai Madiyil Kandrinai Pol

Maaya Kannan Thoongugindraan, Thaalelo

Bucky Barnes had no clue how it even happened. But as he listened to the melody of your lullaby, he had drifted off into a deep slumber. When he woke up the next day, he found that you were gone. But he knew that you were the one to thank for helping him sleep after many months of waking up from nightmares. 

As the weeks went by, you and Bucky had become quite close. As most of the team were gone for days at a time because of their respective missions, the two of you often found yourselves being the only ones remaining at the compound. Despite your loneliness, you somehow found comfort in each other. 

Your free time was usually spent cooking up a storm in the common kitchen, and Bucky found himself frequently joining you for your meals. He had taken quite the liking to South Indian cuisine, but he had also kept his promise of making you a completely vegetarian Wakandan meal - something that he apparently prepared by video-calling the Queen Mother of Wakanda herself and asking her for recipes. 

“Does this mean you have diplomatic immunity? Being the adoptive child of Queen Ramonda and all…” You had joked. “They call you the White Wolf, don’t they?” 

“Did you ever have to use your diplomatic immunity?” He had asked you mockingly. “Being the daughter of an Indian diplomat after all.” 

“Bucky, could you please give Queen Ramonda my regards? Let her know that Agent Y/L/N, the daughter of Ambassador Y/L/N, sends her regards and thanks the royal family for all of their help.” You hadn’t been all that familiar with the Wakandan royal family during the reign of King T’Chaka, but it was only after his death did you have the chance to work closely with them. After all, you understood the pain that they had been dealing with all too well. 

Bucky was not familiar with why you seemed to know them so well. He had just assumed it must be because of your career in diplomacy before you became an agent. He did not think much of it though, at least not until he had told Shuri that you gave their family your regards. 

While the truth behind your relationship with the Wakandan royal family had certainly shaken him to his core, he did not make it known that he knew about it. After all, it was a huge part of your own personal life and you were just his boss. He did not feel the need to let you know that he knew something about you that you might not have wanted you to know. But instead, he continued to learn more about you and the culture that you were raised in. 

The Internet was a great place when it came to catching up with the world. He had read just about everything he could get his hands on, from history to literature and science. While he tried to keep up with how much the world had changed, he had also read as much as he could about your religion. 

He often joined you on your visits to the temple in the city after noticing that you made it a habit to go there every Friday. When Janmashtami came around, Bucky had offered to help you paint footprints from your front door to your shrine of Lord Krishna. 

According to your grandmother, the tradition of painting baby footprints was done believing that Lord Krishna would follow them and enter your home. You had been doing that every single year on Janmashtami for as long as you could remember. But that year, you just knew. It was the first year that Krishna had entered your home for real.

[simsadventures]

After All: Chapter 2: Safe Place

Summary: Month in a the Avenger compound and you and Bucky are growing closer every day.

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Word Count: 1593

A/N: I so wanted to write this story and now I feel like it’s missing something. I don’t know… I think next part will be better and with much more actions, so there’s that xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

A month in an Avenger compound, and you never felt better. You thought you were getting a job, which, of course, you did, but you also got something much more valuable than that. Friends. You were just getting along with people, vibing, and all, and just loving your new life amongst one of the smartest people on the planet, and amongst the Earth’s mightiest heroes.

There were two people, particularly whom you were getting along the most. Bucky, who never really left your side after your introduction (not that you were complaining), and Hannah, one of the CIA agents working closely with the Avengers. The three of you didn’t really meet up together, but when one of them couldn’t hang out with you, the other was more than willing to.

When Hannah left for a mission in India, it was just you and Bucky left. Most of the Avengers went with Hannah and her team, so really the compound was occupied only by you- the lab rats, Bucky, Rhodey, and Scott.

Rhodey was the diplomat of the group, so he would be taking care of phone calls and paperwork that which needed to be signed by an Avenger. Scott was mostly not there because he would always spend his free time with Hope, which you understood, of course. So really, it was just you and Bucky who could watch movies and do stuff together.

It was one particularly dull afternoon that Bucky got an idea. “How ‘bout I train you, doll?”

You scrunched your face and looked at, a mix of disbelief and confusion. “Train me in what, Bucky? And don’t tell me you mean train like train, I have the endurance of a koala bear. C’mon.”

“Ok, my koala bear, but you live amongst the Avengers now, you should be able to defend yourself.”

“And what are you guys for? I make your armour, you protect me, isn’t that the silent deal here?” You were still very much unimpressed. You were just out of shape and really didn’t need Bucky seeing you sweating like a pig and trying not to die from the lack of breath.

“Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun, Y/N.”

“Those are your arguments, Barnes? You need to protect yourself in a building full of freaking supermen, and that it’ll be fucking fun? Wow, I have a better idea. We should work on your argumentation, this is just sad.”

“Stop being a smart-ass and just let me train you. If you don’t go by yourself, I’ll carry you there, doll.”

“Ugh, fine. But you are an asshole, thought you should know.” You huffed and just went with him. “Sure, an asshole you can’t get enough.” He smirked, and you were done.

—-

The training was even worse than you thought. You kinda hoped he’d take it easy, it being the first of your physical activity other than yoga in what seemed to be years. But no. He had to make the session a freaking Captain America level. You were out of your breath after three laps around the gym, and it was just a warm-up. You were quite sure you’d die there.

“C’mon, Y/N! Don’t tell me you’re already tired? We haven’t even started yet.” You didn’t look at him to know he had that smug look all over his face. You just wanted to punch him. Hard.

“Let’s box a little, I’ll show you some techniques if you ever found yourself in combat.”

“Please, just don’t call it combat, Bucky? It sounds too serious. Let’s just stay at defence, shall we?”

The change of vocabulary, however, didn’t help you one bit. Bucky was always either behind you and choking you, or above you because he somehow managed to get you on the ground. The last time, you could have sworn you didn’t even blink, and you were suddenly on your back, staring back at him confusedly.

At the same time, other emotions than just confusion coursed through you. You weren’t really sure what it was, but those damn butterflies just wouldn’t go away. You just prayed to whatever God was listening, that Bucky couldn’t hear your heart whenever he touched or pinned your hands above your head.

You wanted to act all cool, but you if called out, you would blush like a 13-year old, and just prayed that the ground swallowed you. Fortunately, Bucky either didn’t see the effect he had on you or decided to ignore it. Which you were forever grateful for.

It was like the twentieth time you found yourself laying on the ground, that you just groaned and tried to scramble away, and hopefully towards the exit before Bucky notices. But he was on you in a second, each of your hands pinned on either side of you. “How can you be so bad at this, doll? I mean, I could kill you in a second, and I bet your cute ass you wouldn’t even notice me or could have a chance for some last thoughts, let alone last words.”

“Well, I’m so sorry I’m not a freaking trained assassin, Barnes. I’m a scientist, we don’t even have to do PE or anything like that. Just pure science, and we were all pleased about that, trust me.”

“Good thing you’re my favourite girl anyway, Y/N.” He smirked and held his hand to help you back at your feet. But being called “his favourite girl” stunned you too much to be able to move correctly. And because Bucky wanted to end the session and give you a break, he just bent down and picked you up as if you weighed nothing.

“I can stand, Barnes. Put me down.” You didn’t want him to put you down, Bucky’s body could easily be your safe space, but you didn’t want to give yourself false hope. You knew you were far from his type. He was the type of guy who wanted a slim, but slender woman, fierce, and most of all, beautiful, nothing short of Miss Universe. And you weren’t that. You knew that. You were… well, just you. You were ok with that but didn’t want to feel sad when Bucky found the type of girl that would suit him.

But it was getting harder and harder every day. Seeing Bucky all the time, spending such quality time with him definitely didn’t ease your mind. If anything, it made you dream about him on an almost daily basis. Sure, some of those dreams were very intimate, but others (and these were prevailing) were just about an ordinary relationship you wished you had with Bucky.

You just smiled at your thoughts. “Whatcha thinking ‘bout, baby girl?” Bucky’s voice boomed in your ear and almost made you die. You shrieked, and he just started laughing. You just forgot where you were awesome!

“Just how much of an ass my friend is, that all. Now let me down, I wanna stretch these legs before they fall off of my body.”

He let you down, and the only thing you could think about was that you were screwed. Totally and completely screwed.

You wanted to just take a long, long shower, and then snuggle your blanket and read some completely useless magazine, like Cosmopolitan, just to get yourself into a different headspace. Bucky stopped you before you could bid your goodbye. “Hey, you going to that party of Tony’s next week?”

“I guess I gotta at least show my face there, Tony’s been pretty adamant about that. Why”

“You wanna go with me?” Your heart skipped a beat, but you tried to play it cool. “Are you asking me to prom, Bucky? Awww, that’s so sweet of you!”

“Haha, very funny, Y/N. You wanna come or not?”

“I’d like that, thank you for asking me, Bucky.”

He came a little closer, and whispered to your ear, “Sure thing, after all, you really are my best girl. Who else would I ask?”

You blushed and look at your feet. You again tried to stop your head, but he was giving you so many hints and stuff, that you just couldn’t ignore it. He cared and was interested in you, even though you weren’t a barbie doll. It was a nice feeling for once, also if he meant it as a friend, it was still nice to be noticed, and you wanted to cherish that feeling for as long as you could.

You smiled at him, kissed his cheek, and left to have a hot shower, where you’d replay the conversation in your head over and over again. Your heart was happy, and you couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night.

You even got a phone call from Hannah, telling you that the mission was over and that they were all coming home. You told her about the details of your day with Bucky, and she squealed excitedly.

“That’s awesome, Y/N. I mean, that guy is obviously into you!”

“Oh, come on, Han. He’s just being nice, I’m nothing special, just a friend, that’s all.”

“Oh please, even you can’t be that stupid. He asked you to that party, you’ll see there, I bet he’ll make his move, count on my words!”

“Alright, Long Island Medium, can’t wait for you to come back. Safe journey and I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”

After the phone call, your mind was spiralling. What if he really made a move? God, you needed to look breathtaking. You just couldn’t wait for the party. It would be the best night of your life. No doubt.

/ Next Chapter >

Tags: @iheartsebastianstan @owlyannah @readermia @kolakube9 @ibookishqueen @thewintersoldierswifu @emogril @the-melancholyfeels @pinkleopardss @supervengerslock @the-soulofdevil

If you’d like to be tagged comment/message/send an ask. If you like the story, please reblog :) any comments are appreciated, even the critical one. Always a space to get better, so let me know what you guys think.

[jbbuckybarnes]

Burned into my mind

Bucky x Reader Soulmate AU (name on their wrist) Warnings: None, I think. Not Beta read.

M A S T E R L I S T

If there is one thing that has always been natural to you it was covering your left wrist. Not because of a dark past, not because you disliked your wrists, just because there was this name. Everyone had the name of their soulmate on their left wrist and while you didn’t mind finding your soulmate you didn’t want to pressure yourself and constantly be reminded of it was definitely pressure. And the last thing you wanted in a job surrounded by people was constant reminder of them knowing someone with that name. Most of the time you had your Fitbit, a watch or a thick bracelet over the cursive “James” on your wrist and the people around you were used to it. If they asked you explained to them that you wanted things to happen naturally. You weren’t desperate to know your soulmate. Sure, once you had him, that would be nice, but you could lead a normal life without him. You were just about to bring your empty coffee mug to the kitchen of the compound when a blob of color flew past you. Bucky. And then there was another more colorful blob shortly after. Steve. The only way you could tell them apart when they were running past you on top speed was their taste in clothing. Bucky had seemingly managed to get a cream pie into Steves face and you definitely needed to keep your reaction hidden. You had no fair chance of running away from the blonde giant of a man and you weren’t keen on getting cream pie onto your favorite shirt. “James Buchanan Barnes!” you heard the serious voice and instead of letting your eyes widen at the shock you swallowed it down. Sure, it could be Bucky, but James was a common name. And Bucky quite obviously didn’t have his left arm anymore, along with tons of past memories. You wondered if he had a soulmate in the 40s. There must’ve been a lucky girl with his name on her wrist. Maybe he could remember her and missed her. You shook your head to get out of your thoughts and vanished into the kitchen.

“Can I ask you something?” your small voice got his attention. Both of you were relaxing on the roof of the building by the quinjet. The last mission had been quick and you had ordered some food. “Sure.” a small smile formed on his face with an attentive look at you. “Do you remember your soulmate?” your tone was cautious of potentially hurting his feelings. His eyes weren’t in the now anymore for a while, “Never found her. She’s probably 100 or dead by now. If Hydra didn’t make me kill her.” “Do you remember her name?” your legs were by your chest now and your head on your knees. He nodded, “It’s burned into my mind like nothing else.” Without more context. That was his little secret and you totally understood. You would tell him the name on your wrist if he asked, but that was only because it was also his name. “Do you think she had your actual first name on her wrist or Bucky?” you smiled. “Probably my actual first name. I only started getting called Bucky when I began going to school.” he smiled into the distance. “I feel like nobody ever hears my actual name. My soulmate has it extra hard. An Avenger that doesn’t have their name on public record that much? Yeah. Sounds like a pain in the ass.” you both giggled. “He’s definitely missing out on you scream singing the Lion King intro multiple times per week.” he chuckled. “And my legendary cookies.” you smiled at him. “Y/N’s legendary cookies are an Avengers-only thing.” he looked at you with a serious face before you both broke into laughter. “He can have ONE. C’mon.” “I’ll steal them all before he can have one.” “Bucky with 10 cookies in his hoodie pocket. Not suspicious at all.” you grinned. “In those moments I appreciate that I can look scary.” a soft smile played on his lips. A few weeks later Pepper, Nat and Steve had actually managed to push the team to go on a small vacation together. “Bonding outside of the job,” they said. As if the didn’t live together at pretty much all times. “Who the hell picked India out of all countries?” Sam yelled. “Shut up, birdman. It’s a multicultural place that we can appreciate and pressure Tony to spend money in.” you came back at him which earned you a smirk from the two ex-spies in the room. “Varanasi. Never heard of that.” came from Wanda. “It’s a very spiritual city. Holds a lot of value for Hindus. Lots of cows, lot’s of spiritual places.” Vision, the wandering human internet gave a small rundown. “Sounds like a good place to calm down.” you shrugged. “Not really. It’s a place where tons of people go to die actually. But I guess we should learn more about their culture.” he explained. You left the room shortly after to pack some stuff. Busy streets, dogs, cows, dirt and a lot of praying people. That was your first impression of Varanasi. You had learned a bit more about the city on the flight there and you were definitely intrigued. “I’m excited for all the stuff that isn’t burning people and bathing. I like how they do it, very spiritual, but my western brain can’t handle the directness of burning dead people and drinking river water. But I also can’t handle basic christian church sometimes, so what’s new?” you let your brain go. “I hate to say it but I’m so down for the food and touristy stuff. And the cows.” Nat smirked. “I hope you all have good shoes.” Tony yelled from the pilot seat. “Combat boots.” the group of people yelled back. “We’re here.” Clint now yelled. You were greeted with masses of people and animals, quite a few of the people were asking if you wanted things and you kindly shook your head. It didn’t take long for Nat, Wanda and you to be decked in vibrant fabrics. “Glass Beads,” you said and the three of you looked into the direction of the shop you had just found. “Those are prettyyy.” “You can get them engraved with your initials. Charges them spiritually.” the old man that owned the shop explained to you. You loved to collect all kinds of spiritual and handmade things and this was right up your ally. “I need your full name.” “Y/F/N Y/N Y/L/N.” you smiled and looked at Bucky’s reaction from your peripheral vision. His mouth stood slightly open and he looked between you and the glass bead bracelet you held out to the man. “I’ll be right back.” the man smiled with your dark blue bracelet in his hand. You stayed in a more luxurious place a bit further away from the city. It was a bit like a resort. The team was definitely grateful for that after the culture shock they had just been faced with. You were sitting on the porch of your little house, overlooking an insanely pretty lake. Soft steps came towards you and a tired Bucky sat down next to you on the bench. “You look pretty in a sari,” he smiled at the beautiful silk sari you were still wearing. “Thanks. Definitely makes me feel pretty. I mean look at it.” you went over the pretty patterns. “Where’s the bracelet?” he asked and you held out your left arm with a proud smile. “Why didn’t you buy one?” “Wouldn’t wear it.” a shrug. “I think it would look cool on your arm.” you pointed at his left wrist. “Well, I don’t have anything to cover there.” he rubbed over the space that had his soulmates name on it once. “Do you think you’ll be without a soulmate? Or do you think she’s alive and actually synced up to your weird life?” you smiled. “I think she lives. I know she does.” he grinned down at the blank space. “I didn’t see the name since I lost my arm and I can’t think of anything else that was burned into my mind like it.” He looked up at you with a little frown, “Y/N? What name is on you wrist? I know you don’t like to talk about it, but...we talked about this so much and you never told me.” “It’s in the top 10 of most common English names. Could be anyone.” you shrugged before pushing the glass beads down and the band of your watch up. His name was written across your wrist in cursive and a wall of overwhelm hit him. Visibly. “I know, it’s also your name, but…” you shrugged and looked towards the lake again. “Y/A/N.” he stared at you cause he couldn’t keep himself from doing so. “Hm?” you looked back into his direction. “Y/A/N, that’s the name that I’ve have burned into my mind.” he was searching for your eyes. “Really?” you finally met his eyes with a little frown. “That’s the last topic I would joke about, Y/N.” he said serious. You needed to laugh, earning a confused look from him. “Wow, we really made this harder than it needed to be.” A soft smile came onto his face with a nod before he took your left hand again. “Wish you could see mine.” his finger went over his name. “You can be damn lucky that I like your metal arm without the name on it just as much.” you smiled up at him, making him blush. “God, I didn’t know you were capable of blushing.” you said fake shocked. He grabbed you to shut you up but you only started giggling more. “There’s probably a picture of you from back then, right? Why don’t you get the name tattooed onto your right wrist?” you smiled up. “Only if you let me take you out to my favorite places in Brooklyn.” he smiled at you on his lap. “I can get behind that, James.” you said his name extra sweet. He stared at your lips for a second before his eyes shifted up, “Can I kiss you?” With a short nod warm lips were landing on yours and you suddenly understood why he was such a lady killer back in the day. Not too innocent, not too intense, just sweet but loving. “You’re gonna have to shave.” you blinked up at him and got a chuckle back. “Fine.” he wanted to sound annoyed but that was impossible with the big happy grin on his face and his left hand caressing your face.

M A S T E R L I S T

[stularsen]

THE HURRICANE vs THE CORONAVIRUS (part one) 

That time we planned a once in a lifetime hurricane world tour for March 2020..

I’m currently on a plane for the first time in six months. It feels strange to not have been in the air for this longer than usual period of time but also strangely normal to find myself once again on a flight surrounded by complete strangers. The main difference now is that everyone seems even more in their own worlds than before. Maybe this is because we have replaced invisible masks with real ones and we now happily hide behind these physical barriers, to protect us and others from the virus that stopped the world from moving almost entirely. 

The last time I was on a flight was back in March 2020 as the planet was beginning to understand just how serious the situation was becoming. Unfortunately for me, I had planned a once in a lifetime tour for this exact period of time.. The Hurricane Tour. It was an adventure I had been dreaming up for many years and planning for many months. The idea was simple enough, to travel around the earth in one month, playing eleven shows in eleven different countries, experiencing different cultures and meeting different people all along the way. We would start in Australia on the first day of March and then visit Japan, India, Botswana, Turkey, Germany, England, Canada, USA and Mexico before eventually finishing in Argentina on the last day of March. 

The lead-up to this crazy tour wasn’t particularly smooth and it was looking like it might be a kind of storm before the calm scenario. One week before we were due to begin, I landed back in Australia from a few months away only to find my precious guitar had been split right down the middle during the flight and my passport had somehow been damaged and needed to be replaced urgently. At the same time Jarrad Seng (the man behind the photos and videos) was having some major laptop issues and needed to find a decent replacement in the last remaining days before we set off on this epic journey. Through some minor miracles and generous support from friends and strangers and also a tour manager who refuses to ever say the word ‘impossible’ (thank you Thomas!) we began this absolutely insane tour where we would quickly learn that we would need to rely on more miracles and friends and strangers to help solve some pretty interesting problems every single day throughout the tour. 

The first show was in AUSTRALIA and somehow everything went pretty much to plan. A very jet-lagged Tim Hart (album producer as well as band member and support act for the night) had flown back from London the day before to then drive out west and play one of the best shows I have ever seen him play (while his newborn son watched with us from backstage). My slightly nervous and always teary mother joined me on stage for a little song. My dream of playing a show at Empire Theatre in Toowoomba had finally come true with 500 of the loveliest people to share the moment together. It was a truly special evening with lots of family in attendance as well as old friends from so many places and work colleagues from the bank days. Perhaps the most special person in the crowd for me was Bob Cook, the man who taught me to play guitar when I was a very shy 14yr old kid, to whom I am forever grateful. What a night! It seemed like the storm before the calm scenario had played out and we were about to have the smoothest and most incredible tour of our lives! In reality though, it would turn out to be the exact opposite and what we had just experienced was actually the calm and the greatest storm I’ve ever witnessed was fast approaching.

Thomas, Jarrad and I were up early the next morning and off to Brisbane Airport where we should have been boarding a flight for Tokyo, but a few days earlier we had been notified that due to the virus situation we would not be able to play the show in Japan and would potentially be putting the rest of the tour at risk if we even entered the country. So we somehow managed to change our flights very last minute and head to SINGAPORE instead, but without a show to play. We decided to put the word out and see if anyone knew anybody who might be able to help. It was truly incredible to receive so many messages and comments from people who desperately wanted to help us find a place to play. It didn’t take too long before the team at Timbre X @ The Substation came to the rescue and let us bring in a few people and play a few songs on their outdoor stage before Supersonic helped everyone dance the night away. Show number two, somehow completed. 

INDIA is next on the list and it’s looking like everything is maybe going to happen as planned.. until we are waiting to board the flight to Mumbai. I hear my name called over the speaker at the airport in Singapore. An upgrade to business class perhaps? Oh how nice that would be. But no, there was a problem with my visa not being recognised with my new emergency passport and they would not allow me to board the flight.. we pleaded with them to see what they could do while I scrambled to contact people in India at 5am local time to try and amend the visa. It was beginning to feel impossible. If I missed this flight there was a chance there would be a knock-on effect and the rest of my flights for the month could be cancelled. With no other viable option, we decided it might be best for Jarrad and Thomas to board the flight for India and for me to wait in Singapore to try and fix the problem and hopefully get on a flight later that day. But just as we were saying goodbye to each other I heard my name called again and we were told that they had heard back from the flight captain and he had overturned the decision and I would now be allowed to fly?? A medium sized miracle! We celebrated and quickly disappeared feeling both jubilation and disbelief. Surely now is where good things start to happen.. 

Of course not.. We landed in India to an email notifying us that our show had been cancelled, with very little explanation. We pleaded with them to reverse their decision but it wasn’t looking hopeful, so we put the word out to the people, again. Very soon we had been saved, again, this time by the wonderful people at Veranda Bandra who rearranged their schedule to fit us in super last minute. It was crazy to play a show in India and have people singing along to my songs, it just didn’t feel real, but it was happening right in front of me. Our time in Mumbai was so short but so incredible and we made fast friends with some amazing people. But onwards now to our next destination, the most random location of the tour but also maybe the smoothest show of the tour.. 

We arrived in BOTSWANA after a long day of travel via Ethiopia and Zimbabwe to the warmest of welcomes. Local musician and Stu Larsen fan, OneSpared, was there to greet us. We had connected a while back when OneSpared (Thuso) had covered one of my songs and I couldn’t believe that someone so far away was not only a fan of my music but was also singing my songs. When the idea for this tour started to become a reality, I contacted Thuso to see what he thought about playing a show together in Gaborone. He said we should do it, so we did. We turned up. The crowd turned up. It was magical and so full of love and energy. Finishing the show at The No1 Ladies Coffee House by singing Whisky & Blankets unplugged with the entire crowd singing and dancing was maybe the highlight of the tour for me, it still feels so surreal when I think about that moment. 

With things starting to feel a little smoother, we felt like we were maybe going to be okay in the next days. But when we turn up at the airport to fly to TURKEY we’re told our flight is no longer departing. At this point, we don’t really react. We are so used to being hit with bad news every day. We are in a good frame of mind for finding solutions and after some fast talking and a little bit of confusion, a few minutes later we have another option sorted. We arrive in Istanbul to more bad news, the venue is unsure if we can go ahead with the show due to the worsening and frightening virus situation. It’s now the 11th of March and things are getting serious with the virus, but we want to push ahead while we can and play another show if we can, so we agree to keep the numbers low, the windows open and provide masks and hand sanitiser for the crowd and thankfully Cem at Norm Coffee agreed to let the show go ahead under these conditions. It was a very intimate show with a percentage of the crowd consisting of local cats, an actual dream situation for me :) 

After the show, I could see a slightly worried Thomas, he seemed to be rushing to get us all packed up and out the door and back to the apartment.. but why..? Because, he told me as we walked away from the venue, not only our flight, but all flights for the next morning were apparently cancelled. We would spend the next hours trying to work out if there was another way to somehow make the journey from Istanbul to Munich without spending too much time or money or if we would be stranded in Turkey for the coming days/weeks/months. Nothing seemed to make sense so we did what we knew best, we kept moving forward. We had been told that the flight had been cancelled and that the airlines were stopping all flights instantly and that we should not go to the airport the next morning, but every time we searched our flight number it showed that it hadn’t been cancelled and was still on schedule…? We decided to wake up early and make our way to the airport to see what would happen. We didn’t know what we would find when we arrived, but it was eerily quiet and by some miracle our flight was one of only a few flights still operating while the airline and airport finished shutting everything down. 

We were so relieved to be able to fly to GERMANY but landed in Munich knowing that the sold out show at Folks! Club was probably going to be cancelled and that it was getting close to game over for the three of us. We searched for an alternate option for the show but we realised that bringing people together was just not the right thing to do anymore. We were starting to understand just how big this virus situation was becoming. We had to accept this and cancel the show and decided to replace it with a livestream instead. We found a friend with a beautiful living room where I played a few songs and shared the experience with a handful of friends and a wider audience online. It was hard to accept that we maybe had to stop this once in a lifetime dream tour which had been unfortunately planned for the exact same month that a global pandemic took hold of the planet, but more and more it was becoming clear that this was the likely outcome. 

Waking up in Munich the morning after the little livestream we were told that our next flight had been cancelled, but we managed to be put on another flight which took us to our seventh destination. We arrived in ENGLAND and of course one last thing went wrong. None of our luggage turned up. No suitcases, no guitar, nothing. We waited and waited and waited and waited. We were hoping that for some reason it would just turn up, even after everyone else had collected their belongings and left the airport. Our luggage didn’t arrive and it kind of felt right for things to be this way after somehow surviving the challenges of the previous weeks. We started to make our way towards the ‘lost luggage’ counter to see what we could do but along the way we saw some lonely but familiar suitcases and a guitar sitting beside a completely different luggage belt. We three idiots had been waiting in the wrong place the whole time. Call it exhaustion, call it stupidity, call it what you want, we don’t mind, we were just thankful to not have actually lost our luggage that day in London. 

From here, things moved quickly, we made the decision to cancel the sold out London show and we knew we then had to cancel the remaining shows for CANADA (sold out), USA, MEXICO (sold out) and ARGENTINA (sold out). We announced one final live stream from a little cafe in London called Hotshoe 333 where we would officially call it a day. It was a weird feeling, we didn’t want the tour to end, but it simply had to. It was not possible nor sensible to continue. The Coronavirus had well and truly overpowered the Hurricane. Thomas, Jarrad and I said goodbye the next morning and we headed our separate ways.. which is when things started to get really interesting… 

Check out the new video for Hurricane - https://youtu.be/xttiOK-0CCE

[savagetrickster]

Bitter Bet.

D. Gray Man |  Allen Walker x Reader (angst)

*Please read Envy (Part 1) first to get a better idea of the story. There will be another part following this.

Allen’s eyes were always on her. His mind always ran away with fleeting thoughts of her whenever they were apart.

But she never knew.

That fateful day in India when they overcame a flock of Akumas together as a pair of strangers was a blessing to him. 

Meeting her had always been something he truly was thankful for. 

While he was grateful and cherished the bonds he found and formed with the exorcists, finders, and scientists alike in the European branch, he held her, next to Mana, dearest to his heart.

Throughout the time spent traveling from India, he had learned to appreciate her strength, her toughness, her resolve. Most importantly, the ease and comfort she brought forth to him, soothing his restless self every time without fail.

But of course, she never knew. 

.

She woke up to her first morning in the European Branch after what felt like a year of seemingly aimless roam. 

She had decided to put her assistance in finding Accommodators for General Socalo to a pause. The last time she dropped by was at least four months ago.

Arriving only last night, she went right to her room and crashed instantly. Over her travels, she rarely slept on beds. Even if she did, she was always on guard. A lone exorcist was as good as dead if they let their guards down. 

Her legs brought her to the science department as soon as she left her room. The tattered, worn uniform in her laundry basket nudged her to ask for a new set. Johnny loved this sort of stuff anyway. 

She gave herself a satisfying stretch, grateful for a proper rest after so long. 

Down to the middle of her arched back, her long (h/c) hair hung loose, freed from the tightness and weight tugging on her scalp whenever she wore it in a high ponytail.

She truly missed home.

.

Surprise woke her groggy self as the cluster of chatty scientists hovering at the door caught her attention.

They always seemed half-dead and slugged around like sloths every time she stepped through the department door.

The bustle that greeted her was a fresh sight. Maybe there was a change implemented while she was away, she pondered.

“Ahh, (Name), right on time!” Reever broke away from the chatty group, the excited chatters instantly reducing as eyes followed their leader.

“What are you guys up to?” She blinked curiously at the grinning face of the head scientist.

“We’re making a bet on Lenalee and Allen.” Reever grinned even wider. “Wanna join us?“ 

“What?” Her heart gave a squeeze. “Lenalee and Allen?”

Dancing amusement in their eyes accompanied the other scientists as they flocked over to Reever and her.

“Shhh,” Tapp hastily held up his hands to her, “Don’t let the Chief hear you! I don’t want more overtime.”

“Shit, my bad…!” She glanced around cautiously with the scientists for any lurking sister-complex nutjob.

“C'mon, the more the merrier!” Johnny snickered, his round glasses as if it was part of his body, glinted in mischief. “I’m voting for a yes.”

“You’re close to Allen, aren’t you?” Reever’s hands flew to her shoulders, “Did he share with you anything about Lenalee?“ 

“Nah, I think they’re just gonna stay friends.” One scientist waved his hand dismissively. 

“Be prepared to pay up, Matthew!” Reever threw a challenging look over his shoulder.

Then all eyes were suddenly back on her. Being on the receiving end of their enthusiasm, it took all her willpower to not squirm under their expecting gazes.

She held her ground and drew in a sharp breath. “The last time I went on a mission with them was months ago. I heard nothing. Though…”

The sadness suddenly filling her sank down like a bitter weight on her heart as a nasty taunting voice reminded her of the times she found herself in a team with the two exorcists.

Of how she felt left out.

She figured that they were sent on missions regularly from how well they worked together - even better than when Allen and her traveled through the lands from India to England.

The conversations between them flowed so naturally that there was no room for her to be a part of them. Some topics were not even something she could contribute to - it was like their inside jokes, something only these two experienced together.

Of how she had once witnessed Allen rushing right over to Lenalee after a blast by a Level 2 Akuma was sent over to where Lenalee and her stood. 

The panic and concern in his voice when he did that was etched in her memories.

Of how she had seen the intense gaze he bore in his eyes when he looked at Lenalee who didn’t even seem to notice. The occasional blushes across his cheeks told her pretty much what she had to know.

That she should give up.

A wry smile stretched her lips as she returned to the waiting eyes, her shoulders falling in resignation.

“…Though, from what I observed during our missions, I think it is very likely.” She caught the triumph in the eyes before her and decided.

“You know what, I’ll join you too.” 

She eyed them with a smirking glint in her eyes. The pain around her heart was like a harsh, icy grip, but she pretended there was no such feelings.

Allen was a friend to her.

Just a friend. 

Nothing more.

“I bet twenty that Allen and Lenalee would end up together.”

.

.

Part 3

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

There’s More To Her #5

Previous Chapter

All Chapters

Sweet Consequences

Arnav, Khushi, Akash and Payal stood by the Gupta House, reeling in their last chuckles.

"Seven times," Khushi began, muffling her giggle as Payal pinched her. "I mean, you punctured your car seven times to be able to meet Jiji." Akash reddened and turned to his cousin for help but Arnav chose to stare at his shoes, a small smile threatening his lips.

They let the moment pass, basking in the happiness the sunset brought. Khushi fiddled with her dupatta, Payal played with a strand of hair. Arnav tapped his foot, Akash cleared his throat.

"Payal ji-"

"Yes Akash ji."

Akash took a soft, tentative step towards her. Khushi and Arnav took a step behind, keeping a watchful eye over their cousins.

"I know a lot has happened. But, can you give me a chance? No, I'm not asking you to marry or even love-"

"Okay," Payal said, her cheeks warm.

"-nor am I asking for any commitment. We can date, at your convenience. And only during daytime, we would not meet for dinners, no, not at all. We can meet at parks, or films? Do you also like Salman Khan? Please only if there are any feelings from your end and after I have a conversation with my family-" Arnav and Khushi rolled their eyes, one of them had to intervene and stop Akash for the sake of his safety.

"Akash," Arnav placed a hand on his shoulder, "Payal said yes." Akash stopped and stared at Payal in amazement.

"But... since we're meeting outside, then I won't come alone." Payal said.

"Oh no of course. No no even I won't come alone, I'll bring Bhai with me. He'll accompany us." Akash grinned, forgetting that Arnav would have liked to have been asked before becoming an invited third wheel to his cousin's date.

"That's great, I'll also bring Khushi with me!" Payal chirped, unaware of Khushi's glare. Khushi could only groan in disbelief, since when did a younger sibling chaperone an older one? And since when did anyone plan on bringing their cousins to a date? Khushi looked up to find a similar expression of disbelief in Arnav's face.

Yet, at the hope of something new for Payal and Akash, it didn't matter if the cousins agreed to the weird courtship.

--

Akash rolled down the car window, letting the breeze touch his face. Honestly, nothing more had happened apart from Payal accepting to date him, yet, his instinct told him that he had taken the best decision of his life.

Payal gave him a chance. Gave them a chance. And he would prove it to her, for them. No matter how many years it could take.

Arnav watched his cousin stare at nothingness.

"Bhai, every love has its time, does it not?" Akash asked, humming off tune to the radio, "So nothing should be decided in a haste." Akash spoke to himself, not waiting for Arnav's reply.

Arnav gripped the steering wheel, Akash's words haunting him like a warning.

--

Payal stared at the moon as Khushi massaged oil in her scalp.

"Let the Goddess of Hair shine on you and present you lustrous locks for your date! Hey Devi Maiya, what will I do in this silly date of yours Jiji? I know they say the wife's sister is a half wife but you took this very seriously!" Khushi playfully tugged Payal's hair.

Payal slapped her hand.

"Uff, Khushi! You're crazy. You know I couldn't just meet Akash ji on my own..." Khushi wrapped her arms around her sister's shoulders. She understood her. They weren't raised like that.

"I know. But what's the use of these meetings? You two anyways wouldn't go beyond Akash ji, Payal ji..." Khushi sat by Payal and coyly smiled. Payal threw a pillow at her, "And anyways Jiji, I can handle all this, I wonder how Arnav ji would be, watching over you two. He'll die saying what-the-what-the-what-the!"

"Nothing like that would happen. And it's better if you two don't put your brains to get us together. I like Akash ji, I... love him. But it's necessary we take some time before jumping in to get married. I know, it's not like us... but when it comes to Akash ji I want everything to be perfect." Payal sighed.

There was a lot of ambiguity in their relationship. Payal and Akash hadn't even spoken to each other for more than half an hour, nor had they had a complete idea of who the other person was. She did not want any hindrance, any trouble or any obstacle during their wedding. And God forbid, the storm that his mother was!

--

"NO WAY!" Manorama yelled. The entire Raizada family gathered in the hall as Akash let them know of his intentions about Payal. Everyone, except Manorama, were glad.

"Maa," Akash, surprisingly calm, held his mother's hand, "What are your reservations about Payal ji? She's cultured, educated, well mannered and has a great personality."

"But she has no class! No money!" Manorama insisted. Arnav looked at Akash and willed himself to stay quiet. With immense confidence he had told Payal that Akash could defend her, now it was time to see it. Especially in her absence.

"And what would I do with more money?" Akash countered.

"No, you don't get it. She will marry you for your money." Manorama argued.

"Did you marry Papa for money?" The family fell silent. Manorama looked away, tears filling her eyes.

"Akash, bitwa, what are you saying. Your mother did not marry me for money." Manohar intervened.

"I know Papa, so how does Maa know that our money is all that Payal wants from me? In fact she has rejected me because of our wealth and class." Manorama looked up, surprised, "And have you ever thought that instead of these Miss Indias I might want a woman like you? A simple woman who married a simple man because she loved him, irrespective of his wealth." Akash said.

"Manorama and simple?" Devyani sneered. Promptly Manorama burst into pails of tears. The entire family groaned.

"Amma," Manohar warned his mother. Of course, there was a stark difference between Payal and Manorama. But there was also a difference between him and his son, Akash. While Akash had the sensibility to take things slowly and detach himself from the Raizada wealth, it was rather the opposite in the case of Manohar.

The minute Manohar saw Manorama he knew he wanted her as his wife. She was loud, boisterous, courageous and extremely ferocious. With a bluntness he saw in very few, she told him she liked the finer things in life. She carried herself with an air that separated her from the other servants. And Manohar was anything but shy. He carried every sense of Raizada in him, flaunting his wealth as a way to get her attention.

Of course, it all changed when they crossed lines and chose to run away and get married - and till now Manorama struggled to mend fences with his mother.

"And Manorama, let's be grateful that our bitwa is speaking to us rather than eloping with Payal bitiya." Manohar stated. Manorama flushed visibly. Clearly, she was outnumbered when it came to deciding Akash's wedding.

"She's not the best person for our Akash." Manorama gave her final argument.

"That... time will tell. He likes her, it's enough. Just like how I liked you." Manohar said, his tone holding a note of finality.

"Don't keep on comparing us with them!" Manorama argued, their relationship was her only weakness.

"Manorama, are any of your arguments different from that of my mother's?" Devyani and Manorama gasped simultaneously. Anjali, Arnav and Akash winced. Out of all the things that Manohar could have said, telling two women who hated each other that they were identical was the worst thing possible.

"Do you think I'm like Manorama?" Devyani seethed.

"And what makes you think I'm like Saasumaa? Am I always ordering the servants? Is the Raizada honor everything for me?" Manorama barked.

"Exactly. And bitwa, tell me which angle of me is obsessed with our class and status in society? Have I pressurized any of my grandsons to marry the way she's been pestering Akash?" Devyani huffed.

"So it's okay if Akash ran away with Payal ji?" Anjali, a silent spectator, finally spoke.

"NO! What will people think!" Manorama and Devyani shrieked, at the same time. Anjali rolled her eyes.

"Yes, you both are not identical." Manohar drawled. Devyani and Manorama glared at him, the sarcasm not missed.

Arnav realized it was time to intervene if his dearest Mama ji wanted to be alive to see any of the family's future weddings.

"Alright everyone. Akash is not getting married tomorrow and it's getting late. We all agree that Payal and Akash are a good match, now let's leave it to the two of them to sort out their issues and give a basis to their relationship. I think the goal of this meeting has been achieved - which is giving Akash our blessings. So let's retire for the day."

Manohar, very wisely, left the room as the two women of his life argued together against him on how they were not identical.

Akash whispered a quick 'thank you' to Arnav. He nodded. Watching Akash handle his mother and the situation with honesty and maturity filled him with pride. He had never been more glad to not be required in a situation.

--

"But Jiji, nothing starts perfectly. Over time we just learn to handle things better." Khushi advised, "And I know you're mostly worried about 'hello-hi-bye-bye', but give it time Jiji, I think Mami ji is a little crazy but not entirely bad."

"Little?" Payal asked, shuddering at Manorama's insults and outrageous fashion.

"Ok, more than little," Khushi chuckled, "But to think about it, I'm sure Mami ji is annoyed with you because Nani ji is always annoyed with her! When I worked in the Raizada house I realised that Mami ji is like us - she loves item numbers, devours sweets and has no filter in her mouth. If there's a difference it's that money makes no difference for us." Khushi said.

Payal had to agree that Khushi was right. According to Khushi Mami ji was not only the only one to enjoy the Jalebi Bai ringtone prank, but also the one to often give little quips of wit and wisdom every now and then. Probably just like she had stated that Akash didn't know her enough to marry her, she didn't know Manorama enough to finalize her impression on her - even if they had a few, bitter exchanges.

"First impression is never the last impression."

"Hmm," Payal agreed. All the heaviness and uncertainty of her relationship with Akash seemed to fade as the clouds in the night sky. His willingness to be with her, to listen to her, to take time touched Payal's very soul. Arnav's assurance that Akash wouldn't have remained silent gave her hope and butterflies in her stomach.

"Like Arnav ji isn't the way we thought him to be, haina?" Payal braided the rest of her hair on her own and lied on her bed. Khushi remained rooted to her spot, Payal's words haunting her.

"No, he's not." She whispered.

"And look at this, how we've changed. I never thought I would ever tell the man I love to not marry me but- what do you call that- yes, date him! Bua ji would get a heart attack and state that Delhi's uncivilized air has touched us." Payal declared.

"Hai Re Nandkisore! What is this dating waiting? In our days we would only see the photograph - how else do you think I married your Phupha ji?" Khushi swung her braid around her neck and imitated their Bua ji to a perfection.

"Sorry Bua ji, but it's not wrong to take some time, na?" Payal held her ears and apologised to "Bua ji".

Khushi chuckled and flicked her braid aside, "No Jiji, marriage and love is a lifetime commitment. If we take three hours to buy the vegetables we want, then it makes complete sense to at least spend three, proper, weeks to be with the man we want to be. And I'm sure it's different for different people, and some might get their fairy tales. But in reality everyone does not get that opportunity."

Payal looked at her sister who suddenly aged before her. Khushi seemed to be speaking to herself.

"Jiji, we were silly to think fairy tales are real. I, for example, don't have a sweet talking prince charming who'll keep me on top of the moon and stars ." Payal kept quiet.

"In fact my prince-charming is already married - to his anger!" Khushi grumbled. She could still feel his fingers around the flesh of her arm, his nose touching hers and the heat from his gaze. Khushi declared herself as ill to find his anger as another addition to her fondest memories.

How did it matter if he lost all his calm and was shattered at the thought of her getting married to another? How did it matter if she felt the same when he got engaged and made her plan the event?

"Khushi," Payal gently touched her shoulder, "Shyam ji is an angry man?"

Khushi blinked a few times as Payal searched her feelings. Realization began to dawn on Payal, Khushi was not speaking about Shyam.

"E Payaliya! Sanka Devi! Don't you have plans to go to sleep?" Madhumati hollered from the living room, switching off the lights of the house.

"Ji Bua ji!" The girls yelled back and tucked themselves into bed. Payal waited for a few seconds and turned to Khushi but she was fast asleep, snoring slightly. Worried, Payal patted her forehead and went to sleep.

Khushi watched her sister go to sleep and vowed to be more careful when she spoke.

--

Next Chapter

A/N: I hope you liked this chapter! This story will bite the dust in two more chapters so I'm really looking forward to your notes! Thank you for your time and for reading and don’t hesitate to chat - I love to speak!

Much love (and I pray you and your families are doing well), 

S

P.S: Also read it on: Wattpad

[bytheangell]

What Do You Do With the Leftover You?

(WARNING: MCD due to being set post Alec’s death)  (Read on AO3) 

The funeral was difficult. In fact, it was the second most difficult thing that Magnus Bane, in all of the centuries he existed, ever had to do. It was impossible to say goodbye to Alec, not when he still saw him everywhere he looked. It didn’t feel real to stand among a hall of Shadowhunters, speaking hollow words that felt like nothing instead of the symbolic release they were meant to be. 

The funeral was difficult, but not as difficult as coming home to an empty home is. It somehow seems more final now. It’s been three days since it happened. They feel like a blur, and for so much of it he forced himself to put on a brave front, to be a comfort to Isabelle and Jace and Maryse, to make decisions he never expected to make so soon. For three days he had nothing but distractions, the ceremony a purpose to work towards if nothing else, constantly surrounded by people to keep up the act for. 

But there’s no one left to pretend for now that he’s home and the hugs and hand shaking and condolences are over. 

With nothing left to use as an excuse, Magnus stares down at the envelope Isabelle gave him two days ago with his name written across in Alec’s handwriting. He considers not opening it at all, not sure if he’s ready for the contents (whatever they may be)... but he knows that’s selfish. This is Alec’s final wish, as it were, and he’s already put off opening it for too long. 

He opens the envelope slowly, taking out a letter and a key. 

Dear Magnus, 

If you’re reading this, I’m sorry. I obviously don’t know the exact circumstances but I’m certain they couldn’t possibly be good, and I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I know we talked about it, that we knew it would come some day, but if this reached you then it came much sooner than either of us hoped.

I could go on for pages about how much I love you, how amazing you are, how kind your soul is and how I wish I could’ve been around longer to watch you change the world around you for the better one day at a time. Instead, I’m going to keep this short and sweet, because I never was great at putting my feelings into words. I love you, Magnus Bane, and I always will, long after I rest in the City of Bones. 

When I found you, you told me your heart was closed off and I unlocked something in you. Don’t lock yourself away again after me, keep your heart open for the next person lucky enough to deserve your love. 

Aku cinta kamu,

Alexander 

P.S. I asked you for a gift once, but it wasn’t for me, not truly. The key is to a room in the basement of the Institute where I kept the parrot you gave me. Go alone, and don’t say anything when you’re around him. It’ll make sense once you’re there. I hope he helps, and that I’m not wildly off-base in this final gift I’m leaving for you. I love you. 

Magnus re-reads the letter three times, only putting it down when the tears in his eyes make it impossible to make out the words on the paper and he doesn’t dare risk ruining the letter itself with water stains smearing the ink. Instead he picks up the key and considers it. He almost forgot about the African grey Parrot he gave to Alexander, not that he could be blamed given… what happened. But now he’s full of curiosity that manages to pierce through the looming dread and darkness for just a moment. A moment is all he needs to wipe the tears from his eyes and portal himself to the Institute. 

“Magnus? What are you doing here?” It’s Underhill who greets him first. Magnus is surprised until he realizes it’s the middle of the night, and everyone else is likely asleep or on patrol. “Not that you aren’t always welcome here, I just thought…” Underhill trails off, eyeing Magnus carefully. Magnus stares back, noting the dark circles under the Shadowhunter’s eyes and their general redness - he’d been crying recently. Crying over Alexander. 

‘Well that makes two of us ’ Magnus thinks, though he doesn’t say anything aloud. Instead, he says, “Alexander left me a key to a room in the basement, told me to only go in alone, though. I don’t suppose you could show me which one?” He holds up the old, bronze key. 

Underhill nods. “He was always disappearing down there and refused to tell anyone why. Guess you’ll be the one to find out. Here, I’ll show you.” 

Underhill leads the way into the elevator and down to the lower level, pointing out the door and then hesitating. “Should I wait?” 

Magnus shakes his head. “I can find my way back up, if that’s alright with you.” 

Underhill only nods and turns to leave. 

Once he’s gone Magnus places the key in the lock and opens the door. 

There’s no cage in the room, which is the first thing he expects to see. Instead the parrot has free reign of the room full of food and water and places to perch and even actual trees, granted they’re potted, but still . Magnus opens his mouth to wonder aloud what all of this is about when he remembers the letter. Don’t say anything when you’re around him . 

Alright, he thinks. So what now? Magnus approaches the bird who is in the corner of the room on a branch, waiting. And waiting. And just when he’s certain that this is all some sort of joke, or a test, or something , the parrot speaks and Magnus’ heart skips a beat. 

“Hey, Magnus.” It’s the parrot. Magnus knows it’s the parrot, but the sound that reaches his ears is Alexander’s voice. Those are Alexander’s words. 

“I love you so much.” 

Magnus stifles a sob, balling his hand into a fist and biting down on it to stop from crying out. 

“You’re my world.” “I hope you’re doing well.” “I know you miss me. I miss you, too.” “

Magnus doesn’t know how long he sits in that room, silent tears streaming down his face. Sometimes the bird speaks one sentence after another, other times he’s silent for minutes at a time, maybe hours. At some point the bird starts snoring - Magnus realizes with a soft smile that Alec must’ve fallen asleep in here at least once for the parrot to mimic is trilling snores perfectly. 

The thing the parrot repeats the most often is ‘I love you’. It’s clear that Alec spoke those words the most frequently, making sure if nothing else stuck this is the one declaration he’d leave behind. The realization is too much and Magnus has to leave the room, making it into the hallway and just barely allowing the door to shut behind him before he presses his back against it and sinks down, his head falling to rest in his hands as he cries properly for the first time since he got the news. 

He’s certain Underhill is watching him on the security camera - Alec’s husband or not, he’s still a Warlock alone in the Institute, one who is emotionally compromised at that - but no one comes to check on him or escort him out in the time he spends sobbing in the hallway. He’s grateful for that much. 

But not as grateful as he is for the gift Alec left behind for him. Collecting himself enough to stand again, he goes back inside the room to gather the parrot’s things ( Alec’s things ) and shifts the warding around him enough to portal both him and the bird back home. He doesn’t want to risk it picking up any voice that isn’t Alexander’s. 

He’ll clear out the small storage room for the parrot later, but for now he places him in the bedroom, immediately soundproofing the room inside and out. He isn’t expecting visitors, not since he stopped answering the door for them two days ago, so silence shouldn’t be an issue… but better safe than sorry. 

It’s only then that it hits him: it was in this very spot that Alec first brought up the idea of the bird. He remembers the conversation like it was yesterday. 

“Hey, Magnus,” Alec said, his tone of voice lilting at the end with the implication of having much more to say if Magnus had the time. 

Magnus always had time for Alec. 

“Yes, Alexander?” 

“A while back Simon told me about this snake in India you said you made for Camille once…” Alec started, trailing off a bit as he considered the best way to word whatever was on his mind. Magnus, fearing this would be some sort of commentary on the very few physical gifts he’d given Alec during their time together, immediately hopped on the defensive. 

“When I said it was the best gift I ever gave, I hope you know it means nothing to me now that we’re-” 

“No, no. That isn’t… that’s not what this is about,” Alec interrupted. “Simon said it was immortal, the way you made it so long ago. I was wondering if there was something I wanted… if I could ask for something similar?” 

“Darling, if you want a snake I’ll go right back there and take that one back from her, it’s hardly as if she deserves it.” 

Alec frowned, shaking his head. “No, not a snake. A parrot… an African grey parrot.” “You want an immortal parrot?” Magnus questioned, not sure where this was coming from all of a sudden. 

Alec flushed, the red blush spreading quickly across his cheeks. “Yes. I can’t tell you why, I just-- you know what, never mind. It was a stupid idea. Forget I asked.” 

Alec turned to leave but Magnus reached out, catching him by the elbow. “No, wait. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. If it’s something you really want, of course I can do it for you.” 

Magnus couldn’t pretend to understand the relief that crossed Alec’s face at that. “Really?” 

“Yes, even if it means living with a parrot, of all animals, though I’m not sure how the Chairman is going to feel about that,” Magnus admitted. 

Alec only shook his head. “No, it’ll stay at the Institute. Listen, I know this all sounds a little crazy right now, but I promise it’ll all make sense one day.” 

Magnus asked about the parrot a number of times after gifting him to Alexander, but each time Alec only repeated that Magnus would find out when it was time. He spent three years wondering curiously when that time would be and now that it’s here he wishes more than anything that it had never come. 

The parrot makes sense now, yes, and for Magnus perhaps it’s the only thing in this world without Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane that does. 

...but for the first time in three days, Magnus falls asleep almost immediately, with the soft, comforting words (and occasional snores) of his husband filling the room once more. He continues to do so for days, which turn into weeks, which turn into months and years and decades, the reminder of Alec’s kind heart keeping him grounded in his darkest hours. Magnus tells himself he’ll move the parrot somewhere more remote when he’s ready but instead he ensures no one other than himself enters the bedroom he once shared with Alexander, not sure if he'll ever reach a point the comfort won’t be needed. And in the moments he considers locking himself away to never leave again, Alec’s voice is there to wish him love, happiness, and peace. 

And Magnus Bane never was one to deny Alexander something he wanted. 

[girlinthepictureframe]

The Briefest Kiss Part 5

Part 5

“Miles,” said Alex with an uncharacteristic level of annoyance in his voice, “I told you, we’ll be in France all week. Bloody stay at my place, will you? You’ve got the key, there’s food in the fridge and you’ll have plenty of space and time to sign all those CDs and prepare for the release.”

“Alright,” Miles gave in. “I’ll stay there. Thanks, Al. I just want to make sure I’m not getting in the way of things.”

“In the way of what things? Since when do you ask these kinds of questions?” It wasn’t the first time that Miles had made remarks in complete seriousness that, two years ago, he’d have found ridiculously silly and laughable. When had they ever worried about being in each other’s ways?  

“Forget it,” grumbled Miles. “I just need a new place. Soon.”  

Alex understood that Miles was trying to change the topic, and because he didn’t want this conversation to end in a fight, he let him. It was rare enough to get him on the phone these days and he didn’t want this to become a discussion about something that he found stupid to begin with. “Do that, get a new place! How can you even get sleep with those awfully loud neighbours?”

“I’m in no position to complain,” countered Miles. “The last neighbours moved out because I always play guitar at night!”

Alex chuckled. “You’re supposed to sleep at night.”

“Oh yeah? Is that what you’re doing at night?”

“It doesn’t matter what I do at night. I don’t have any immediate neighbours who could take offense,” pointed Alex out, adding, “you should consider getting a house, Mi. That way you’d finally have room for all those shoes and guitars!”

Alex smiled when he heard Miles laughing on the other end. “I’ll consider it,” said his friend. After a moment of silence, Miles spoke again. “Hey, about the other night, sorry I didn’t go out with you. I wasn’t feeling it. But we definitely need to meet up again. It’s been ages since we had a proper night out.”

“Definitely,” agreed Alex and nodded, even though he knew Miles couldn’t see. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re pissed at me for some reason. It’s been over two months since we last saw each other.” It might not seem like a lot of time, but for them it was. “And when you were here, you barely even spent an hour. I know you’re busy, Miles. But when did you become too busy for me?” He was only half-joking. Sometimes it felt as though their friendship had taken a hit along the road, but no matter how often he checked, he could never spot the damage, only knew that it was there, hiding beneath the surface. If he had to describe it to a mechanic, all he’d be able to say is that it feels different.  

“I’m not too busy,” objected Miles, his voice heavy with regret. “I don’t know what’s going on. I feel like I’m in bit of a funk at the moment.”

Alex wished he was with him just then. He didn’t like conversations via telephone. He preferred looking people in the eyes while speaking to them. It made it easier to read emotions. And he desperately wanted to read Miles’ emotions. He sounded as lost and as confused as he himself felt too often these days. “You have to tell me if I did something wrong. You know me, Mi. I don’t always get it when I say something stupid.”

“It’s not you,” said Miles reassuringly.  

But Alex knew his friend, he could tell when Miles was being deliberately ambiguous, and, clearly, there was something that Miles was not saying. They needed to meet. It was the only way he could press him for answers. “Come to France. The weather is nice, we can hang out and I’ll leave you plenty of space to prepare all your shit for the tour, I promise. I’m sure Taylor would love to see you as well!”

“No, she wouldn’t.”

Alex sighed at Miles’ matter-of-fact statement. “It’s been months. How long do you want to drag this out?” And, also, what, precisely, were they dragging out? It was the one thing that Taylor and Miles deliberately kept from him. Sometime last year, the two of them had a big argument. He’d only overheard the tail end of it and knew it was about Miles’ break-up with Hannah. When he went and asked, first Miles, then Taylor, for details, they had both kept quiet about it. It annoyed him greatly that he didn’t know the whole story. He’d like to fix it but how could he fix it if he didn’t know where to begin!

“She’s your girlfriend, not mine. No need to make things right.” Miles went quiet and Alex waited patiently. “Al...I gotta go. I’ll call soon.” Then he hung up.

Alex couldn’t believe it; he stared at the phone in shock. This might very possibly be the first time that Miles hung up on him. “Bloody hell!?”

“You’re okay?”  

Turning around, he found Taylor leaning behind him against the kitchen counter. Alex shook his head. “No. Just talked to Miles. Something is going on with him, I just know.”

She shrugged and turned around. “Who cares?”

“I do!” said Alex quickly and resolutely. “I’m worried about my friend. I’m worried about my friendship with Miles! I’d like to think you care a little about that.”  

She spun back around and found him staring at her with a mixture of expectation and accusation. “Here’s what I would like,” said Taylor bitterly. “I’d like to think you worry about our relationship.”

Alex sat down, his eyes darted away from her and his demeanour took on a far darker shade. “I wasn’t aware I needed to worry about us.”  

“If you paid a little less attention to Miles and a little more attention to me, you’d be aware,” she all but snapped, clearly trying to contain her anger.  

Alex could tell, because he was trying to do the same. Both were doing that a lot, lately. Every dialogue between them was never more than one or two poorly chosen words away from erupting into a fight. It was a never-ending walk across a high wire. “How about a change for once,” he suggested, fed up with this perpetual undercurrent of unresolved tension, “let’s actually talk about this. Tell me why you’re so fucking mad at Miles that you can’t stand the thought of him and I being friends! It never bothered you before.”

“You’ve never kissed before.”

And there it was. His entire body tensed up. They were back to that, apparently. Alex groaned as he drove his fingers through his hair. “I thought we were over that.”  

That. The stupid, bloody kiss. The one that kept haunting his dreams more often than it should. The one that was the reason why he now locked the door to his recording studio, lyrics and notes inside. “We discussed this, Taylor. It was one silly kiss, two years ago. I meant nothing. We were drunk. That’s all.”

“I would appreciate it if you stopped calling that fucking kiss ‘silly’.” Taylor crossed her arms, staring at him angrily, reminding him, “you wrote a fucking song about that kiss!”  

What a big mistake that had been, thought Alex resentfully. But, as always, he hadn’t been able to help himself. That damned kiss occupied so much bloody space in his head that he had needed to literally write it out of there.  

‘And in response to what you whispered in my ear, I must admit sometimes I fantasise about you, too’

In its original form, the song had included a bit about a kiss. Last year, as he had been sitting at the piano, trying to find the right arrangement, she’d sat down next to him, had leaned in, and had asked, “what did I whisper?”

And he, dumb idiot that he was at times, had been so lost in his thoughts that he had promptly replied, “not you. Him.” After that, his life, complicated though it was already, had become considerably less comfortable. For the rest of the day, she had continued asking question after question, relentlessly pushing for explanations that he couldn’t give. He had only been able to take so much and after four long hours of artfully avoiding giving any sort of actual answer, he had snapped and blurted out, “Miles kissed me and, yes, I fucking liked it!”  

He guessed he should be grateful she was still with him. After all, Hannah had broken up with Miles over the whole thing. Sure, he’d told Taylor that wasn’t the reason. But who was he kidding? They all knew it was the very reason. Maybe not the only one. But it was the deciding one.  

Taylor took a step towards him, kissed his head and tilted his chin up with one finger. “Alex, I love you. And I know you love me. But maybe you need some distance from Miles? He’s busy right now, anyways. And you’re about to go on tour as well. Let’s take a vacation together. Let’s see a bit of the world. You’ve always wanted to go to India. We could do that before you’re off with the band?”

Oh, he wanted to go to India, alright. He had read much about that country. About the culture. About everything, really. And he couldn’t wait to see it with his own eyes. But it wasn’t Taylor he wanted standing next to him when he got there. Not that he could tell her that. “Babe, the timing isn’t right. Not now.”

“But you agree about needing some distance from Miles?”

“No. I barely see him as it is and once touring starts, we’ll see even less of each other. He is a very big, very important part of my life.”

“Yes,” she muttered in resignation. “And we’ve got the lyrics to prove that, don’t we?”

“I hate when you do that!”

“You do?”

She was pissing him off and he was beginning to think she was doing it on purpose. Which, in return, riled him up more and more. “You told me you made out with some girl backstage while Miles and I were playing in New York. I really don’t think you should be sitting on such a fucking high horse right now!”

“We were fucking joking around, it didn’t mean anything,” she all but yelled. “I didn’t write a fucking love song about her!”

“It’s not a love song!” As she glowered at him, he began pacing the kitchen angrily. “A love song is what I wrote for you, Tennessee, remember?”

Taylor slumped back against a wall, deflated and tired. “You want to know the difference between my song and his song? My song is everything a good love song should be. It’s passionate, it’s sexy, it’s got the rights words to it. It’s perfect. And it’s perfect because you’re Alex Fucking Turner and when you decided to write me a love song, naturally, you wrote the perfect song with the perfect words and the perfect arrangement and you wrote it so that everyone knows how fucking good of a songwriter you are!”

“Is that a compliment or a bloody insult?” He asked indignantly.

“Mine is the romantic tale that you want the world to know. His is the deepest truth that you desperately try to keep a secret.” A bitter laugh broke free from her lips. “Tell me, Mr. Songwriter Extraordinaire, which song would you like to have written about you?”  

Alex didn’t answer. He wasn’t entirely sure she wanted an answer. He wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to make up his answer. And, also, he wasn’t entirely sure that, at this point, an answer would make any kind of difference.  

“Out of words. Imagine that,” said Taylor and left the kitchen.  

[xx-thedarklord-xx]

There’s a Ball?

So, this was a prompt. I have included the ask at the very end this time because I don’t want to give away the spoiler! Another one that was slightly longer than expected. Oh well. 

-----------------------------------

            “Did you hear?” A boy whispered in delight, voice echoing around the now silent corridor. Draco rolled his eyes heavily. What was with immature people being obsessed with gossip? One would think that there would be better things to talk about than mindless shite.

             “Harry Potter is coming back for the Remembrance Ball next month!”

               Draco froze as he fought the urge to demand the boy to spill his sources. It wouldn’t do well to bring himself attention, especially about Potter.

               Excited whispers broke out as they all waited for Slughorn to open his door for class.

               “Where did you hear that?” Smith asked doubtfully. “Someone else brought up Potter at the beginning of the year but it turned out to be false.”

               For once, Draco was rather grateful for the Hufflepuff’s insight. He just hoped that it wouldn’t be a recurring thing.

               “I overheard McGonagall telling Flitwick about it when I was passing by the staffroom.”

               Draco furrowed his brows. If Potter was stopping by for a visit, Granger or Weasley would have acted like it, wouldn’t they? He shot a look towards Granger, who had a book on Modern Goat Conspiracy Theories compared to Anciently Deceased Theories open in one hand and their Potion’s book in the other. Surely, she couldn’t be reading both, right? Weasley had his head resting on Granger’s shoulder and appeared to be asleep. His mouth was open and Draco was pretty sure he saw drool.

               The clang of the door opening had Draco putting this behind him. It was no doubt just gossip.

 ----------------------------------------------------------

               “If Potter is coming back for the ball, who do you think will be his date?” Abbott asked as Draco sighed heavily, a few seats away from her in History of Magic.

               “Who says he has to have a date?” Macmillan asked with a scoff. “I’m going stag and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

               Finch-Fletchley snorted loudly. “You’re going stag because everyone you asked turned you down.”

               Draco was incredibly sick of everyone talking about Potter. This was getting out of hand. What was with everyone being obsessed with the savior? Merlin, there had to be better things to talk about.

               “That’s because he is blind to Abbott’s desperate pining after him.” Draco snarked, not bothering to turn around. He was just fed up with the whole conversation.

               There was a stunned silence that filled the room. Macmillan sounded as if he was choking on his own tongue and that was certainly the highlight to Draco’s day.

               “Is—Is Malfoy telling the truth?” Macmillan whispered, sounding awed. As if he hadn’t noticed that the girl had been in love with him for seven years.

               “I—umm.”

              Draco spared a miniscule moment of guilt as the girl sounded positively miserable. But it was for the best. He knew how this would end. And really, what was a little pain as long as it ended in happiness? Well, if they actually lasted as a couple that is. As a realist, he predicted those two would break up after one or two children.

               “Would you like to go to the ball with me?” Macmillan’s tone was scared, which had Draco rolling his eyes.

               “Yes!” Abbott squeaked out far louder than was necessary, causing Draco to nod approvingly.

               And if a small smile also escaped, well, no one had to know.

------------------------------------------------------------ 

               “Did you see the article in the Prophet? No one has seen Harry since the Death Eater trials.” Finnigan informed the Eighth-year common room.

               “I heard he died and was replaced by an intelligent Niffler.”

               Everyone within hearing distance turned to Weasley with arched brows.

               “I didn’t say I believed it!” Weasley argued, ears pink. “I was just stating what I heard!”

               “Was that Luna?” Granger wondered curiously, not bothering to look up from her book on Mysterious but Easily Explained Coincidences on the Mating Cycles Between Foreign Walnuts. “Because that sounds like Luna.”

               Before Weasley could inform anyone of his sources on the ridiculous rumor, Longbottom spoke up. Which Draco was immensely grateful for. This entire discussion was ruining his previously good day of avoiding Potter rumors.

               “You both really don’t know where Harry is? I thought for sure he would have told you guys.”

               Granger snapped her book shut sharply. “He sends us letters, letting us know that he is safe and okay. Harry said he is looking for something. We have no idea where he is.”

               “Is he really coming back for the ball?” Thomas asked curiously.

               Despite himself, Draco leaned to the side, wanting to hear what Granger would say.

               “Your guess is as good as mine.”

 --------------------------------------------------------------------

               “So, Ginny, are you going to the ball with Potter?” Corner asked a little sullenly.

               Draco sighed heavily and loudly from the end of his table in the library. Did every waking moment of the inhabitants of Hogwarts have to be obsessed with Potter?

               “No.” Weaslette answered flippantly. “I am not.”

               “Oh.” Corner’s tone brightened dramatically. “In that case do you want—”

               “Sorry Michael, I am going with Luna.”

               “Lovegood?” The boy asked in disbelief. “I didn’t know that you were into women. I mean you and I dated.”

               The argument was rather unintelligent. Which Weaslette must have found lacking as well.

               “Spot on.” Her tone was far dryer than Draco had ever heard from her before. “We also ended disastrously and in a very awkward manner. Which is a fact, just as yours was. But both have nothing to do with my relationship with Luna. Dating a man previously does not mean that I cannot date someone of the same gender.”

               “It’s called bisexuality.” Draco drawled, looking to Corner. “Something you should look into. Either for your own ignorance or perhaps because Boot has been in love with you for months.” Really, were people blind to reality these days?

               The spluttering of Corner and the smirk on Weaslette’s face was the last thing he saw before gathering his things and leaving the library.

               He really should look into matchmaking. It was turning out to be a success.

----------------------------------------------------------------

               “Look! Over there! It’s Potter!”

               “He actually came!”

               “His hair is longer.”

               “Where do you think he has been?”

               “Think he has been rounding up the Death Eaters that evaded capture?”

               “The ball isn’t until tomorrow! What’s he doing here now?”

               No one even bothered whispering. Their gossip was talked about as if this was normal. As if it wasn’t rude to just point and make assumptions about others. Draco pushed through the crowd of nosy simpletons to see Potter greeting his friends.

               The man’s hair certainly did get longer. The length seemed to tame the unruly locks just a little. It was hard to tell but Draco wondered if Potter had gotten taller too. He seemed to have aged inwardly in his time gone. The stance was solid, his smile was firm and the way he talked was easy.

               Potter looked up, clearly sensing someone’s eyes on him. When green met silver, an intense look crossed the savior’s face and it had the courtyard going still.

               “You wouldn’t happen to be willing to give me help, would you?”

               Draco arched his brows as he tilted his head to the side curiously. What on earth was the man talking about?

               “You see, I have this gorgeous but moody boyfriend around here somewhere. It’s been so long that I think I forgot what he looks like.”

               “Well, you have always had poor vision, Potter.” Draco could make out calculating looks from Weasley and Granger but he ignored those. “What’s he look like? He must be a real idiot to want to be associated with you.”

               Potter snorted loudly. “I’ve always thought he was an idiot but it’s nice to have your affirmation.” The Gryffindor smirked a little before clearing his throat. “He’s about this tall.” The hand demonstrating this came close to Potter’s own height. “Blonde hair slicked back with ungodly amounts of hair care product. Grey eyes that are sharp but kind if one knows what to look for. Soft lips that are usually in a sneer but say sweet things when one knows how to listen.”

               A few people let out gasps but Draco only had eyes for Potter.

               “In other words, he’s beautiful.” The man finished, eyes glued to Draco’s face.

               It took several lasting seconds of debate for Draco to set aside his decorum and sprint towards the Gryffindor. He let out a breathy chuckle when he was swept up into strong arms and lifted into the air.

               “Hello, love.” Harry whispered as Draco wrapped his legs around the brunette’s waist. “I’ve missed you.”

               Draco couldn’t help but smile as his face was peppered with enthusiastic kisses. “How was Greece? And Turkey? India? Russia? Africa? Japan? And the dozens of other places around the world?” He peered into sparkling eyes and felt more at home than Hogwarts has ever provided for him.

               “They were enlightening, breathtaking and stunning. I found what I was looking for.” Which Draco knew that his boyfriend had been hoping to find the wonder in the world that he had been lacking his whole life and himself in the process. “But I was lacking something important.”

               “Oh?” Draco prompted, running his fingers down Harry’s cheek. He was just glad that his boyfriend was in once solid peace. Letters were fine, fire calls were better, but nothing was as reassuring as seeing him in person.

               “Seeing the world was amazing but it wasn’t the same without you. Next time, come with me?”

               Draco leaned forward to press his lips against Harry’s. Sighing softly as their lips moved easily. “Only if you go to the ball with me.” He whispered almost reverently.

               “There’s a ball?”

               Draco couldn’t help it. He threw his head back and laughed loudly. After weeks of listening to everyone gossip about the ball and Harry in tangent, his lover hadn’t even known.

              Merlin, this was perfect. Perhaps gossip wasn’t as bad as he originally thought.

So, I don’t know if the ask was quite what anon was hoping for but I had a lot of fun with it! 

Also! I was feeling weird and that is where the inspiration for Hermione’s book titles came in. I also was just wanting to see who was paying attention as well. 

[letsimportanttreecollection-blog]

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

"Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Car Insurance question?

about how much does it cost for a 16 year old to be added to parents car insurance? allstate

Anyone know where to get esthetics liability insurance?

I am working as an independent contractor. Any suggestions for insurance companies?

Car insurance cons and why it should not be mandatory to have car insurance?

i am writing a paper on why car insurance should not be mandatory. i cannot find many facts or much research at all. if you all could point me in the right direction i would be very grateful. i would like to know the cons of car insurance and why someone should not have it.

What is an average insurance rate for a house?

How do they figure insurance costs? About how much would annual insurance be for a $70,000 house? Thanks~!""

Why my car insurance is so high and how can I lower it?

Recently I moved my house and my insurance went off the roof. For a 03 reg ford-ka its 2300 whereas the car cost only 1400. I also have passed pass-plus, but in vain. Checked on gocompares and other sites, but of no use. I am 28yrs old. I don't know what to do, I love to drive and want that car so bad? Do you guys have any idea? Should I go and check out with my bank for insurance and stuff? please help?""

Is what my car insurance company doing legal?

I am in the process of purchasing a house. I received a quote from the insurance company I picked. And they said they could lower it even more if we add our 2 cars on. So they checked, and their offer for insurance on our cars was lower then what we are paying now. So saving us even more money. I went in, signed the papers for both auto's and the homeowners and was happy. They cancelled my previous auto insurance policies, and charged me my first month. Now, a week later, they are saying due to my previous car being stolen two years ago they can no longer offer me my 100 comprehensive deductible. They can only offer me a 1000 dollar deductible and if I choose not to accept they will cancel my auto insurance. This if frustrating considering my other insurance which wasn't bad to begin with has already been cancelled and I have already been charged my first month so if I don't accept I will have no insurance and my homeowners policy will go up in price. Sorry for the long explanation. I just don't think they should be able to get you in then change things up on you. Is there any law against that? Thanks for your help!!!""

Car accident with no insurance in FL?

I was in a car accident where the other driver admitted it was her fault, and i had a witness - as well as the officer saying it was my right away. However, I did not have insurance.. I assumed I was still under my parents name but my dad took me off their insurance a couple months ago. My car is totaled, and im in some pain ( nothing minor, just very sore )Where can I go from here? is my only option to call a lawyer or can i directly go to her insurance? all i want is a rental for the time being and to get money to buy a new car ( so w.e money my totaled car was worth) i want to make this as easy and fast as possible which is why i dont want a laywer involved. is that basically my only choice though? Thanks""

""Can't afford car payments, car insurance?""

I can no longer afford to make my car payments and car insurance. I was using those checks that you get from credit cards. Now I am in serious credit card debt. It's too late now to try and sell the car because I have missed my 8/15 car payment. I haven't called the bank yet to tell them my situation. Is it a big hassle when I go to call? I still owe $8,000 on it. I wanted to get some advice before I call.""

""Life, auto, and home insurance questions?""

The type of life insurance often used as mortgage insurance is: A. decreasing term. B. universal life. C. whole life. D. homeowners insurance. Expensive jewelry is usually insured by a(n): A. umbrella policy. B. replacement cost rider. C. policy floater. D. named-perils policy. The U.S. Congress added disability insurance to the Social Security Act in 19____. A. 35 B. 54 C. 65 D. 72 This type of auto insurance coverage would help pay your medical expenses, if you were injured by a hit-and-run driver. A. Uninsured motorist protection B. Comprehensive coverage C. Medical payments D. Collision insurance As a rule of thumb, experts say that most married people should carry ______ times their net pay in life insurance coverage. A. 2 B. 3 C. 4 D. 5""

What is a reasonable price for a teen's first car?

I'm hoping to get my license soon, but figure, there isn't a whole lot I can do with it without a car of my own. I'm really not sure how low the prices of cars get without being a piece of junk. Are there decent cars that start in the thousands, or is everything pretty much over ten thousand? What difference does it make if it's used? I'm not looking for a dream vehicle, just something for the next few years to get myself from a to b. The only knowledge I have so far is that my mom's toyota was around $30,000 brand new (and I'm definitely not looking to spend that much), so that's basically what I'm comparing everything else to. Any advice on the basics is greatly appreciated. Thanks!""

How much would motorcycle insurance be in ontario?

Okay, so I turned 16 this past december and I am getting a motorcycle. I'm also doing a motorcycle safety course which I heard decreases your insurance. My first day at the course is today and I should have a m2 by April 3rd (I got my m1 on Feb 1st). I'm getting a used Kawasaki Ninja 250r, probably between the years of 2008-2010. I will probably get the bike for around $3800. (the Kawasaki Ninja is $1000 more expensive in Canada than USA). I live on the edge of Brampton, Ontario, very close to where the farms start (literally almost on the edge of Brampton). I will be driving for 2 or 3 days a week for pleasure. Not really going to take it anywhere besides taking it to my school occasionally. My driving record is clean. So, how much do you think I will have to pay and can you recommend me some companies but please give me a estimate of how much you think I'll have to pay. Lastly, my area has no crime rates and I think that I live in a safe neighbourhood.""

Insurance and Driver License MN?

I just started my policy with 21 insurance and I moved from home to my grandma to now to chaska. Which is closer for work. Im getting a new driver license. But I told the insurance company my old address since I didn't get the new card for driver license. Is this bad will my rate go up ? I told the insurance company I work 3 days a week and its 45 min one way. But now im closer to work.

Getting a check from both insurance companies?

I recently got in a car accident, and both insurance companies (mine & the other party's) sent me a check to cover the damages, each check is enough to cover the full damage. What should I do? a. Use check from other party's insurance, and return the one from my insurance company. b. Use check from my insurance company, and return the one from the other party's. c. Keep both checks""

What does insurance cover for a car accident?

one of my friends recently had an accident in his Honda city. The body was damaged. But the insurance company pointed to a line which says only 50% of cost of damage to 'rubber, nylon, plastic, tyres, tubes, batteries, airbags' and 30% of fibre glass..what else can get damaged in an accident? If the car is made of plastic and the glass with fibre glass, its basically saying we will pay only a max 50%? Does this exist everywhere or only in India? Can we take the insurance company to court?""

Auto insurance for a teen driving a 2003 Ford Mustang?

I am a 16 year old male and am looking to buy my first car. I found this really nice Mustang ($$4,000) and i think its a really good deal because it looks like its brand new. I was wondering if there are any other teens that are relatively new to driving that drove a mustang. Can you tell me how much you pay for your insurance and your age and what car?""

""Which came first, the incredibly high medical fees--or the insurance companies?""

Before the insurance companies and HMOs, how were medical fees? Were they extremely high like they are now--even for basic services that shouldn't be so expensive? Has insurance companies helped or hurt America since being involved in health care?""

What would be the best liability car insurance for me?

I just turned 17, I live in Alabama. I have had liability insurance before but i was on my dads. now i want to get my own. but when i had insurance before with State Farm i had to have it turned off. Now i need to know which company with liability would be best for me. I did get one speeding ticket before when i had insurance but that was like 6 or more months ago. Now im in Drivers Ed at school so i should get the insurance discount for that. So what would be the best and cheapest insurance for me. And will there be any fees or anything form me getting it turned off before?""

Michigan Motorcycle Insurance?

I live in Michigan I only ride my motorcycle during the spring and summer, which comes out to be about 6 months of the year. the rest of the time the bike is stored, with no riders. My question is can I get some sort of insurance where I'm covered for six months and the rest of the time it in storage it's on a storage like insurance? I know you can in New Jersey because my friends have in however can you in Michigan? if so could you post a link or where you got this infor from so i can contact them further thank you""

Why does auto insurance rates go up after manditory insurance laws pass?

the insurance companies promise that passing these laws would always lower them

Insurance for a 17 year old on a Ford Fiesta 1.4 Zetec Petrol?

Hi, I'm currently 16 years old and my birthday is coming up in late May. I'm thinking of buying a car and I'm trying to keep costs to a minimum. As I can't get a quote on any insurance companies yet. I'd like to just know roughly how much I would have to pay on insurance for a Ford Fiesta 1.4L Petrol Zetec, it has an 06 reg plate, 3 doors and 49k on the clock. thanks.""

Is there any free dental insurance in CA?

Is there any free dental insurance in CA?

Getting car insurance with a suspended license?

I posted this question a couple days. I thought I would share my information. My son (not having a valid Drivers License) was able to obtain car insurance through a reputable insurance company. We went to the DMV and got his new registration for his car, and showed proof of insurance. He has 45 days to show he paid his tickets and his license was reinstated. Just thought I would share this information.""

How much do you pay for your car insurance?

I just bought a new car. A Honda fit, and my insurance went up $40 more per month. This is my first brand new car, and I am use to the insurance that comes with a used 7 year old car. I was wondering what others pay for their car insurance, and whether it is new or old. I hope I am not asking anything that people would feel uncomfortable with. I just want to see if I am being charged in the range of what I should.""

How much is Car Insurance in South Florida?

My husband and I are buying a second home in Florida. I am 42 and he is 52. Clean driving records no points only need liability on one 98 Ford Explorer and full coverage on a 2006 Ford Focus. Just an estimate would be great. Thanks

How can i get cheap car insurance?

How can i get cheap car insurance?

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

Car insurance????????????

how long before my insurance is up will i recieve my renewal quote?

What's the average cost of health AND dental insurance per month for.....?

....a 44 year old man. I am a non-smoker, and in good shape. I have no medical conditions, now or ever.""

What car to get for my first that will be low on insurance?

How much for the car and insurance it will cost me ?

""Where is the cheapest place to get auto insurance in st. petersburg, FL 33701?""

Haven't had insurance in awhile, just bought a new/used truck. Just need the basics. Live in st. pete area code 33701.""

How much does a car inspection cost?

I need to get my car inspected (just bought it and I need it for insurance, the car was actually recently inspected by the previous owner). How much does that usually cost? I know a guy who charges $37 is that the going rate?""

Vehicle hit while parked will insurance rate go up????

I get a call from my girlfriend that on the way to the train she saw my car was smashed -Bumper , fender , Headlight need to be replaced The car was parked at the time. Gessing this would be considered a hit and run?Wll insurance rates go up if i put in a claim?????""

Where can I find non-owners insurance?

I need what is known as an SR22 which is also non-owners insurance. I have looked everywhere and it seems like nobody has a policy for it. If anyone knows anything about it. Please let me know.

""If I reported someone for a hit-and-run, can my insurance company raise my rates?""

My Dad takes care of our family car insurance policy with Mercury. Recently, they have asked about an incident which matches the date of a hit-and-run which I reported to police. Someone backed up into my car while I was not-in-motion, waiting to turn left at a four way intersection. They refused to pull over or get out of their car, and sped off soon after, so I reported it to the police. Now, Mercury wants to talk to me about it. The problem is that my Dad is convinced they will use this against me to get more money from us, because I was the only party who reported the incident. I did not file a claim with my insurance company because the only damage was minimal. How should I best handle this? It seems absurd that doing the right thing-- reporting an irresponsible driver-- could result in a penalty for me, doesn't it?""

Where can i buy health insurance?

I'm have a low income and I'm looking for a right insurance coverage. I work as a part time job so my employer won't buy an insurance for me. Please if anyone knows any ...show more

Car Insurance Company wants me to send them pictures?

I don't know why, but I have never heard of this before and I am a little suspicious. So this idiot decided to back into my parked car and completely destroy my door. They are no doubt who is at fault for this. Their insurance company just called and wants me to send them pictures instead of them coming out to take pictures. Has anyone had this situation before, and how long after I send them pictures am I going to be able to fix my car, this happened on Monday and i am getting pissed! Thanks for your help!""

Insurance question?

I just bought a 2008 Honda Accord, exl, 4 cyl. I can't even drive it because I dont have insurance, what is the cheapest (most affordable insurance) I should get, i am 20 years old living in ontario california.""

What health insurance is low cost and fits my description?

Im a 24 year old female, employed, no kids, and not in school anymore. i have no health insurance and i have a lot of health problems but i coudn't afford to get insurance until now. I'm looking for a low cost health insurance with dental care. I've tried looking up different insurance but i dont know what category fits me. I saw theres a student option or something that has to do with ages 18-26 but i dont know what that covers. i have a hard time comprehending the description. Theres one for individuals where you either pay more monthly and get lower deductable or pay less and pay more for deductable. I'm at a total loss. can anyone tell me what is my best option and what insurance should i get?""

Can I write off the montly payment for health insurance I pay for my family?

Going to opt out of my employer paid insurance program, and buy private insurance for my family, can I write the entire payment off on my personal taxes?""

Question about homeowner liability and earthquake insurance?

So, let's say the neighbor's swimming pool cracks open in an earthquake, and the water runs down the hill and floods my house. Let's say the pool owner has earthquake insurance. Would that insurance fix my flood damage? Let's say the pool owner has no earthquake insurance but I do. Would my insurance cover the act of God that broke somebody else's pool?""

What car is best for young male insurance wise?

K im 18, goin to uni next year, male ive looked up quotes for renualt clio 1.2 2000-2003 models and got 8400 annual as cheapest. for peugeot 106 1.1 i got 11,000 annual cheapest..... vauxhall corsa 1.2 i got 10,000 cheapest. the cars im looking at are garbage.. worth 800 tops. Why would i pay over 10 times the price of the car to be allowed to ride it for a year, i know im 18 i dont care if im a risk(which im not, im not a speedfreak,) theres risk and then theres idiocy. What are the key things to get a low qoute?""

Looking for a health insurance coop in California.?

Anyone know of one not related to working at a company or for the government?

If I take out home/car insurance?

But don't declare a conviction for violence from 20yrs ago (when asked do you have any convictions ) would the insurance be void or if I declare would the quote shoot up

Speeding ticket will insurance go up??

Ok my fiance just got a speeding ticket his first ticket ever!! He was doing 44 in a 35. He has progressive insurance the cop told him that his insurance wouldnt go up. But I dont know if that is true. I was wondering if he pays it off or goes to court and see what happens will his insurance go up since it is his first ticket? If it helps we live in North Carolina. I was just wondering what is the best way out because right now we cant afford to much money. He works two jobs got laied off one because no business and expecting second child at anytime. So was just wondering if anybody could give up information on what is best? Thank you and somepeople said something about driving school?? But do you take that before or after court?

Where can I find affordable car insurance in PA for college students?

I will be learning to drive pretty soon and I want to know the cheapest and affordable car insurance out there for students.

""With the on going crisis, is it still possible to get cheap auto insurance in california?""

i know people who've gotten their fingers burnt, so .........""

I make $500/month and want to put $1000 down on a $8000 car mom pays insurance...how much will payments range?

I make $500/month and want to put $1000 down on a $8000 car mom pays insurance...how much will payments range?

For those 16-18 with a car in your name?

since ill be getting a car soon my parents wants to know how much insurance would cost me for ive been looking around on internet but i think it would be better if it comes from some one around my age what type of car, make you drive what insurance company age, gender, how long u been driving with insurance how much it cost for you each month THANK YOUU""

Which company is the best to buy car insurance from?

I just bought a new car, but i don't know where to get car insurance with the least amount of money.""

0bama: You can keep your health plan. Why will MILLIONS of Americans lose their health insurance?

. If you like your health plan, you will be able to keep your health plan. ~ Borat 0bama President 0bama repeatedly assured Americans that after the Affordable Care Act became law, people who liked their health insurance would be able to keep it. But millions of Americans are getting or are about to get cancellation letters for their health insurance under 0bamacare, say experts, and the 0bama administration has known that for at least three years. 0bama administration knew millions could not keep their health insurance http://investigations.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/29/21222195-obama-administration-knew-millions-could-not-keep-their-health-insurance""

What's the best florida home insurance?

What's the best florida home insurance?

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

Car insurance question?

Okay, I'm 18 and I've been driving for over a year now. I was wondering if my car insurance payments will decrease because I've been a good driver. I currently pay $275 a month for my mother and I. Anyone know if my payments will decrease and if so by about how much? Oh yeah, I live in southern California if that means anything. Any help would be greatly appreciated.""

Can you change health insurance before surgery?

I have an Anthem individual health plan. It's kind of expensive but I haven't been working and really wanted to have health insurance. I just started a full-time job that offers health insurance benefits. They offer Anthem insurance similar to what I already have just at a much cheaper cost to me but I'll probably have to get a new policy number. I'm having breast reduction the 2nd week of August and I've already received approval from my insurance company for them to pay. However I want to get insurance with my job but I only have 30 days from the start of employment to enroll in their plan. I'll be calling Anthem next week to see how this will affect my surgery but what do you all think? Is it possible to change policies before a surgery that's already been approved? I don't want to miss the open enrollment with my company but I also don't want to risk having to cancel my surgery. Thanks!

Where is the cheapest place to get taxi insurance in Northern Ireland.?

I have 7 years no claims on a taxi insurance and looking to see where i can get the best deal . Cheers

Best car insurance today?

I just got my car licence.. and I'm looking for a place to inform me about car insurances. Thanks

Health insurance for preexisting conditions

I've been denied health insurance under a private plan due to preexisting conditions and have to wait 3-5 months to be accepted into the CA high risk pool at a cost of $320/month which I really can't afford. Also, my employeer doesn't offer health insurance. Does anyone know how to get coverage?""

How much damage will the other drivers insurance have to pay?

My son was involved in a collision this morning. The driver of the other vehicle pulled out right in front of him and he rear-ended them. The driver of the other vehicle was cited for failure to yield and the state trooper that handled the accident said that the collision was unavoidable on my sons part. The question concerning me is that my son did not pay anything for the car he was driving because it was given to him by my daughter. The car has a salvage title because it had apparently been totalled before but had been restored. The car probably would not be worth very much even had it never been in an accident because it is a 1986 year model Pontiac 6000. Now he is without transportation unless I provide it. Will they only be required to pay a salvage price for damages or what?

Where can i get cheap car insurance for a first time driver?

I am 17 and want to get a insurance for a Peugoet 205 1.8 turbo deisil and need the cheapest car insurance because im a student please help!!!

What would the insurance price be for me?

I'm an 18 year old male, and am thinking about getting an 2006 Pontiac Grand Prix with 115000 miles on it, what do you think would be the cost of insurance for me if you could guess/estimate?""

Can I be reimbursed for birth control paid for after Affordable Care Act took effect?

After paying my co pay for birth control for about a year, I finally asked my pharmacist what he knew about the Affordable Care Act. He ran my insurance and found out that I was eligible for free birth control. Is there any way for me to be reimbursed for the birth control that I paid for after the Affordable Care Act became effective?""

The best personal & affordable health insurance plans in Michigan that offer around 70% coverage?

I am looking for insurance for my boyfriend. He is almost 30 & works for a small business that does not offer an insurance plan. He especially needs dental and vision but would also ...show more

Where can I get low insurance quotes for a first time driver?

The driver in question is 24 years of age and has been passed for just over a week, we found a ridiculous qoute of 5500 pounds, and a more reasonable one of 2400 pounds, just wondering if theres possibly a company who can beat the latter quote.""

Can my fiance add me to his insurance plan?

and is it more convenient than individual? (insurance through his work)

Can a 16 year old male afford a Mustang with a V8( GT or LX)?

I've discussed getting a mustang to my family and friends for quite a while now. I know the downsides, high insurance, bad gas mileage, and too much power(according to my parents). I'm a big fan of the foxbody('79-'93) mustangs and I also really want a V8 and I also want stick if that matters. The way I see it, I'm going to pay a lot for insurance no matter what, so why not pay a little bit more and pay for the car I really want. It doesn't matter if its an LX or GT even though I've heard that LX's are cheaper, but how much cheaper. I've looked around for answers to this question and all I've seen are responses that tell me either that its stupid to get a Mustang or I find answers that have links for sites that will tell me. I just want a good answer and possibly how much insurance will cost me. I only want minimum coverage and it will be on my mom's policy. Also, one more question, how much cheaper do you believe a '90's Honda Civic(2 door sedan) would cost me in comparision to a V8 Mustang? Thanks for any responses, Aaron.""

What heathcare insurance plan make the most sense?

I'm looking to purchase health insurance in Ohio for myself and my wife. We have no ongiong medical conditions and are in good health. What deductable and co pay make the most sense for our situation? What provider has the most options or is most popular and easy to work with?

Buyer wants to buy my car but has no driver license & insurance?

Hello, I listed my car on craiglist a week ago and now just got a buyer who wants to buy it. The problem is this person has no driver license and proof of insurance. He's only 19 years old. I have the pink slip with me and also written a bill of sale. What should I do? I don't want to be liable if this buyer gets into car accident or traffic tickets. I was told to remove the license plates and notify the DMV ASAP. I'm from California by the way. Thanks""

Which car insurance is cheaper a brand new car wi the same engine size or an old car wi the same engine size?

btw i live in uk and simply say i want to buy a corsa 1.0 and which insurance will be cheaper a old 1.0 corsa or a brand new 1.0 corsa? thanks for the help

Does car title have to be in my name before I get insurance on it?

I am currently under my parent's car insurance and the car is titled in their name. However, my husband I recently got married and are going to be getting our own car insurance policy tomorrow. Does the title of my car need to be transferred to my name before I can get the insurance on it?""

Settling with the insurance company?

My sister was fatily injured by a drunk driver in georgia.His insurance company has agreed to pay $25000 bodily injury liability and her insurance company will pay $25000 underinsured motorist for a total of $50,000.Should his insurance company medical pymts coverage pay anything like the funeral expenses.Also if her family agrees to this from the insurance company will that clear him of a civil suit""

State Farm Insurance Rates From Fellow Users?

I will be added onto my parents policy. I got a 3.0GPA 16 Year old male, still in high school I will probably get a late 90's compact or 1/2 ton pickup. Any ideas, I herd that it will be around $300 a month. I also have taken driving classes if that helps.""

""Need cheap auto insurance, Arizona?""

only drive 2 miles a couple times a week, never had a accident or ticket; 63yrs old,Mesa,AZ""

Which is the best insurance which i need to take for my parents who visiting USA?

My parents are coming to US and need to take a medical and dental insurance for them. please advise

""How is it my insurance coverage costs go down, but not my yearly fees?""

I've only had my license a few years, so only had to pay this a few times, but the first time my car was insured for $15,500. The second time it dropped to $13,500. Yet both times I'm expected to pay $460 for the year. Cheap because I'm going through someone else's name 'cause it would cost me about $1,800. Why do the coverage costs go down but not the fees?""

How much does car insurance for a 16 year old male driver cost?

How much does car insurance for a 16 year old male driver cost?

How could I get my mom on my health insurance?

She is suffering from cancer and is thinking about filing for disability. When she leaves her job she will be dropped from her insurance. Also, she has blue cross and so do I. Please help.""

My wife is pregnant. Due date: 9/10/09. Our COBRA health insurance expires on 7/18/09. What to do?

Our insurance expires before the due date. NO PROBLEM. We're getting a HIPAA guarantee issue plan. Here's the question: Our insurance expires on the 18th, but HMO's don't start until the 1st of the month. This would leave a 2 week gap where we wouldn't have coverage. We can't start a HIPAA HMO on July 1, because you have to expire all 18months of COBRA before you're eligible for a HIPAA guarantee issue plan. Chances are it'd be ok waiting until 8/1 to begin our new HIPAA plan, but if my wife went into early labor, it would be a very, very bad situation. PPO's start on the 1st, and sometimes the 15th. Same problem. What should we do? We'd prefer to not have a gap in our coverage.""

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

How much do you pay for individual/family health insurance?

At my work I only pay 67.34 a month for health insurance. It is just me, single. Awesome insurance, no deductible, low co-pays etc. VERY lucky. However, if I had 1 spouse it sky rockets to 447.71 a month, and a family, any size would be 877.11 a month. (Great deal if you have 5 kids, not so great with 1 child) Is everyone's insurance like this???""

Is she paying to much for auto insurance?

my aunt is 35 got a license a year ago has no accidents and she pays 200$ a month for minimum coverage for a 1999 Plymouth breeze. this is in new york....it's some local insurance company oh she has no credit..? i can just imagine how much I'll be paying after i get my license this summer at 18!

How much is Insurance for a 17 year old on average?

I'm 16 and I didn't take drivers ed, i just got my license, and i just wanna know on average, and maybe the cheapest i could get insurance in the state of texas?...""

Is insurance for a salvage car cheaper?

I am looking to get a 03 Mitsubishi Evo with a salvage title. I am just wondering what it would do to my insurance? Will it be cheaper than if the car had a clean title?

How much was your high risk car insurance?

i was charged with a DUI about a month ago... my first one. I was parked at a gas station. I'm a 20 year old male.. how much do you think my car insurance will be? I've also got about 5 speeding tickets in the past if that goes against me.

""Howmuch would a110, 000 $ home insurance cost?""

Howmuch would a110, 000 $ home insurance cost?""

Is it possible to find a health insurance plan with no deductible requirement?

I found the perfect plan for $33 a month, but it has a $10,000 deductible. WTF? Unless I become pregnant and have a kid, or need surgery or whatever, I find it impossible to make a $10,000 bill within a year. That's too much. I've always been healthy and rarely need to visit doctors. Then I was looking at other policies and they were more expensive, but they all had deductibles. One was like $160 a month with a deductible of $5,000. And anyways, I'm a college student and financially independent which means that I am no daddy's girl -I have to work to support myself and pay some school expenses. I don't want to depend on my parents financially in any way (they are willing to, but I just feel like at 21, I shouldn't be their responsibility anymore) so I always worry something would happen to me and they would have to pay hospital bills for me. I can't afford paying a very high deductible or a high monthly quote. Any hope for me? ..or should I move to Canada?""

""What would be the total cost of car, insurance etc? ?""

Im saving for my car next year,can you estimate how much would it cost for car, insurance, tax and driving text for a 17 year old girl in full time work to drive a ford ka 1 litre?""

Can I add my new car to my brothers insurance?

The car Im driving right now is registered to my brother also the insurance is under his name, (but its mine technically). So if I buy a new car, can I put or add this car at the same insurance policy? This new car would be registered under my name. I think if its possible, this would same me some money from the insurance.""

Can you help me make some sense of these health insurance policies?

I'm 7 months pregnant and making plans to line up health insurance for my baby. The plan my company offers is a decent HMO with $20 deductibles for everything but it costs $305 per month! That's over $3,500 per year! I started doing some research and I am finding that I can get a PPO direct from the insurance company for less. I'm confused as to which plan is best though, I found a PPO though Blue Cross that is $155 per month with $40 deductibles. I found a PPO through Kaiser that is $163 per month. I pay 100% of everything up to $1500, then Kaiser picks up everything else. Confused....""

How is medical insurance is applied?

I am an Egyptian seeking the progress of my country. I hope you answer the following questions according to the country you live in especially in United States of America, Canada, Israel, Germany, England and Nordic countries.""

Car insurance quotes for a young male driver?

I finally passed my driving test (yesterday :D) and yeah I wasn't expecting to be able to get cheap car insurance, but i thought it would at least be somewhat affordable! I have used 3 different websites and filled out there forms. I have been quoted around 4000 to insure a Pegueot 106, Zest 3, 1.1L (1998-2003) model. What a joke. Is there something im doing wrong here? Is there a way to get it knocked down to something affordable? 2000-3000 at the most! I have seen the co-up young drivers insurance and that seems to put it at a affordable price, but I really don't want to have a smart box installed. Id hate to feel constantly paranoid about my driving and risk it going up due to mistakes. It would have to be a last resort. So far Ive looked at the Vauxhall corsa SXi, Renault Clio hatchbacks and of course the Peugeot 106's. So guys if you have any knowledge on cars that are best to insure for young drivers and the cheapest insurance companies, please could you help? It would be really appreciated as its very important I get a car and insurance as soon as possible. Thankyou!""

How much would insurance for a land rover be?

I'm 16 a girl and I have straight a's if that matters. I'm thinking about getting a land rover rl2. How much monthly would everything cost(gas insurance and payment) I live in Southern California btw

""If I have health insurance, should I not pay for certain coverages on my car insurance?""

I have health insurance with HealthNet. For car insurance, there seems to be 3 major items for coverage: -BODILY INJURY LIABILITY -PROPERTY DAMAGE LIABILITY -UNINSURED MOTORIST & UNDERINSURED MOTORIST I'm under the impression that the third item is health insurance *for me* if I get into an accident. Why do I want that if I am paying for medical insurance anyway? Should I minimize coverage on this item?""

How much I need to pay the road tax and all the insurances for a motorbike.?

Hi I am going to buy a motorbike (place UK exactly London)- nice chopper like yamaha or honda. How much and where I need to pay monthly the money (for using it on public roads and etc.). I know that car owners doing a monthly payment something about 100 pounds, please give me some advices I would like to know the real cost of it. Thank you very much. ( the motorbike max 500 cc)""

How can i get my neighbors car insurance info with his license plate?

my neighbor has digned my door about 30 times, i have paint from his door all over my car as proof he also stuck gum on my car and put ketchup on it, have no proof for the gum unless i get his dna, i have it in a baggy, crazy i know, but he will not give me his insurance, he tried to fight me, i called the cops, he came at me i told him 3 times to stay back, he was about 200 pounds thought he would take me out, hit him one punch to the head, stunned him walked off called police, they almost arrested me, but didnt made me shake his damn hand since we are quote neghbors, the first thing he said when i asked for his insurance was he iddnt do it and his car is nicer why would he, i drive a 2002 bmw 330ci a 45k dollar car he has a 2003 maybe lexus gs420 i think? it made no difference whos is nicer and that my inspection is out, i still hit him cuz he threatened to hit me and backed me up, how can i get his insurance info with his license plate, any inspector will do a pain analyst and see that the damage is on him, and if they ask for a swab of his cheek, it will match the gum that was stuck to my car paint, btw this guy didnt know me before this, he decides to park right in front of his house by my car which isvery close to the line on this side, rahter than park one spot over, i guess he thought since i was not driving the car and it was sitting for 2 weeks that he could damage it for inconveniencing him.... anyway how can i get his insurance besides demanding it or requesting it from cops?? can i call an insurance company and give them the licsense, i do not have insurance right now im broke which is why i need this fixed by him.""

Auto insurance claim?

I was backing my car up and hit a light pole. If I file a insurance claim is this considered Collision or Comprehensive?

Whats a good car insurance comapany in onatrio canada?

im just looking for regular insurance,nothing fancy.im a 34yr old male.thanks in advance.10 points for whoever gets the best company is my gift to you...""

Health Insurance for Low Income?

We are looking for an affordable health insurance plan. I'm 39 and my husband is 45 living in San Francisco. Healthy and never had injuries or big illness. We used to have a kaiser plan around $600/m and $25 for every visit. Any better deals?

When buying a used car what do you do about insurance?

so i am going to buy a used car. it's my first car but to put it on the insurance how do i go about it? do i call the insurance company before i buy the car or after? im so confused

Affordable Student Health Insurance if I can't be on my parent's plan?

My parents are Japanese citizens in living in Japan and the insurance I currently am in with them obviously won't cover me in the U.S. I am going to be a college freshman and wonder if anyone knows any affordable student health insurance plans/companies. The plan provided at my school is a bit pricey and needs me to pay it all at once in the beginning which I can't do. Any affordable and numerous-payment-planned insurances?

I am leaving country for couple of months. I want to cancel my car insurance. Is it possible?

I am paying my insurance monthly and it's very high. I won't be using car for couple of months, so I want to cancel it for some months and take it again after I come back. Is it possible?""

Will paying off my car loan lower my premiums on my car insurance?

After some research on the pros and cons of paying off my car loan early, I've decided to go ahead and pay it off while I can. Despite all the research, I still don't know if doing so will help lower my insurance rates. I have to carry full coverage on my 7-yr-old car (I purchased it used) as long as the bank holds the lein. Thanks!""

Can parents get sued if I drive a car without insurance?

My mom tried to tell me that if I drive without insurance they would be sued because I live with them. I am 19 so I am a legal adult. The car is also in my name only. I think she was just talking out her *** personally, but now I am curious if that is even possible. Whatsoever.""

Car Insurance Question?

How much would it cost to insure a used (2004-2008) Pontiac Grand Prix GXP (5.3L V8 305 hp) compared to a Pontiac Grand Prix GT (3.8L V6 260 hp) for a 16 year old male in Texas after successfully completing Defensive Driving?

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

Delavan Minnesota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 56023

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-cost-17-year-old-girl-get-auto-insurance-ethan-sanders/"

[durkio20ff]

3.

Durk

“Damn boy... I ain’t think you was gonna stop by to see the boy”

Herb spoke as I sat on his couch. My nigga Herb was out here in New York. Most times I’m busy, always on the move. But this time shit was a bit slower so you know I had to come rap with my boy.

“Chill out on me man. How you living?”

He shrugged, putting the finishing touches on a blunt before sparking it up.

“I’m good, happy. Shit, really been living. What you on?”

Herb left Ari a few years back, and you can see the change. I won’t say India ain’t change me, and I won’t say I ain’t love her because I did. But we all grow. And when you grow, sometimes you grow out of old shit.

“Working on the damn The Voice shit. Handling at home shit man”

He laughed, taking a pull of the blunt then handing it to me. Everybody and they mama knew my business. I ain’t trippin, I move on. I ain’t addressing shit, it is what it is.

“I see you handling that at home shit. You finally told India about Kapri?”

My family knew about Kapri, all my other babymomma knew about. It’s crazy though I had to keep that shit on the D-Lo to ensure my relationship with Willow. And for good reason, because she’s going about this shit exactly how I knew she would.

“Yeah nigga. And too be real, I  ain’t feeling no type of way about it. I was done with that toxic ass shit. I ain’t heard from her or Willow. And I ain’t going to. I gotta take her ass to court. Before she start playing with my child on some goofy shit”

He nodded, taking the blunt from my hand and taking a pull.

“Ima tell you like this, cause niggas might not give it like this. Just cause you start out with some shit don’t mean it gotta stay there. Ari taught me a lot but Taina put that shit in motion. Grateful for both.... but elevation is key. Ain’t nothing wrong with moving on”

I’m just trying to move foreword. I tried faking shit for the simple fact that me and India were looked at as love icons, but behind screen that shit can be fake as hell. I’m over that, wanna move foreword and be genuinely happy again.

Kianna

“She fucking that Ice Cream Up”

Jayda laughed as she took a picture of Kapri with her son Loyal. Ever since Kapri was a baby, Jayda would sneak her food. And every time we come here she still be giving her food. And Kapri ain’t gonna turn none of it down.

“Girl she’s fat”

She laughed, looking at herself in the mirror as I stepped back and began taking a picture to post to my page. I know India thought her trying to smear my name would fuck up my game, but my work and shit my damn self speaks for itself. I’m a business women, and sweet as hell until you cross me.

“Oh my god. Look at her killing this shit”

I laughed, taking a picture of Kapri and posted it to my Instagram.

KiannaLeeDeLaOz

Liked by LaTainax3 and 9,324,234 others

Don’t nobody over feed my baby like @Jaydacheaves 🙄😂

Candy2U Durkio Twinnn. Like Damn

KenyaLuv It’s the hair for meeeee. She look like her daddy.

View all 2734 others

“So girl what the fuck happened the other day on the net bitch?”

Jayda was my client but also my closest friend. I’ve know her since this hair shit for me took off. Only reason my clientele went up was because she allowed me to start doing her hair. I’ve know her for a good 6-7 years. 

“I mean, She tried to say we was fucking around behind her back. And she knows good and damn well they wasn’t together”

She nodded her head and agreed. Like I wanna put the bullshit aside because at the end of the day or children are siblings, I want them to grow up together without the hostility, but the way she came for me and my child was out of pocket.

“Girl, fuck her. Real shit, I defiantly had to speak on her saying fuck Kapri because that was wild”

“Right, and girl you doing all this not even knowing Durk been wanting to be with me. Been. I wanna get past that shit though, our kids are siblings, her party is coming up, I want them all there. I’m not for the drama”

She nodded, wiping Kapri’s mouth.

“I think ya’ll should talk. Bring that shit up to Durk. Me and Jason mom had to do it. For the sake of our kids. Even if me and Baby don’t last, I would still want baby Jason to come over or for Loyal to be able to go see him. Not just have their father be the middle point”

I nodded. I think that would be the right move. I can understand her not knowing, but charge that to Durk, not me or my child. I never once disrespected her.

“As far as you and Durk, how ya’ll gonna go about shit?”

I exhaled and shrugged. At one point that man was my everything. Having to cut him off fucked me up. And I missed him, I think Kapri was made and born for a reason. 

“He wants to be together. We can just focus on Kapri right now but who knows”

“Good, cause I’ll be for that. Like really really”

I laughed and rolled my eyes, packing up my stuff. This talk with India gotta happen this weekend though. I plan on doing something in Miami for Kapri then having a party here. I want all family and friends there. No drama, just a good time.

[webgeekist]

Holiday Karma Pie

I paid for someone’s groceries today.

I didn’t do it for the karma. I didn’t even do it for the charity. I did it because the lady in front of me was having technical issues, and the less-than-$30 bill was worth sparing my sanity and getting out of that line. I played it off as a Christmas thing, asked the lady to pay it forward, and assured her that, yes, I was serious when I said it was no big deal. It wasn’t. I was happy to pay to get out of there.

I have a habit of picking the worst grocery lines. I thought, for a while, it was just this new place I’m in, but then I went home for Thanksgiving and went through 20 minutes of hell waiting for the family in front of me to finish arguing with the cashier about the $20 in savings they weren’t getting because their coupons weren’t scanning, or whatever other nonsense was preventing them from scanning an entire conveyor belt full of items, $200 and two carts into the bill. We moved to another line, finally, when one seemed available nearby. When we left with our own hefty bill in the cart, they were still there, slowly scanning the rest of their items.

I am also the person who will pick up the one item out of 100 without a bar code, and take three of them to the checkout lane.

It’s funny, this idea that you can buy karma with good deeds, as if your motivations don’t count. I’ve seen The Good Place. I know better than that. My motivation today was entirely self-serving, as is most charity in this country. We overwhelmingly donate our time or our money because it makes us feel better about ourselves, not because we genuinely care about giving. We’re scared into doing the “right thing” by a book that has been mistranslated and misinterpreted for centuries, and somehow have this warped idea that doing the right thing will buy us grace. Good Karma. A spot in heaven. Optimal reincarnation. At the end, there’s always something in it for us.

I’m no better than others in that regard. I do good deeds infrequently, and when I do, it’s almost always born of convenience. “Would you like to pay an extra 63 cents to round up your bill and donate to the Children’s hospital?” Sure. “Would you like to donate a dollar to aid in wildfire relief for Sonoma County?” Whatever. “Give a dollar to homeless pets?” Okay. “Save free information!” Click.

The result is positive for the recipient. That doesn’t make the motive for donation genuine.

And it doesn’t make the universe less likely to balance out your good luck with misfortune.

I think about that a lot. I’m always grateful for the positive experiences in my life, but I’m hyper aware of the fact that they often come at a premium. There’s a trade owed the universe, and you will pay it in painful ways. Maybe it’s a hard lesson you need to learn after you land your dream job. Maybe it’s illness, recovery, and loss after you find a few years of companionship. Maybe it’s your family turning their back on you a month before your wedding to the love of your life. And oh, by the way, she’s a girl and you are, too.

I’ve enjoyed two years with my fiancée. I marry her in 23 days. How many of my family will actually show up? At this point, I’m not sure.

I took a job in the Bay Area in July. It wasn’t so sudden that my fiancée didn’t have input. She absolutely did, and though we didn’t expect to be able to afford Northern California, we’re happy we could make this work. Or, at least, that we will make this work after June, which is when her teacher’s contract runs out in Texas. I’ve raked up so many frequent flyer miles, going back and forth every spare moment, and in the airspace between SFO and DAL, I’ve uncovered an anxiety I never expected to have: a fear of flying.

I have flown a Cessna. I have logged hours in a genuine full-scale 737-700 simulator. My dad was a professional pilot at one point in his life, my uncle still is, and all his kids can fly. My grandfather flew for the Thunderbirds. My brother is on his way to being a commercial pilot. I am not afraid of planes.

I started crying and choking before walking through security. I panicked when I booked tickets. If not for some of them being booked immediately after I got the job, I would not have gotten on a plane after September, but I’ve been on five trips since, fifteen total, and for most of them the what-ifs and potential loss has consumed me to the point of paralysis. Every bump and adjustment on takeoff freaks me the fuck out. The changing sounds of the engines at different altitudes and powers freaks me the fuck out. It’s taken every moment of every one of those harrowing trips to learn how to manage the anxiety, to rationalize the noises I hear from the engines, to normalize the dips and turns out of each Bay Area airport, but come Thanksgiving, when I climbed on a plane for the first long break I’d gotten at the new company, when I was so over the project I was working on that I was relieved to be standing at another fucking gate and boarding another fucking plane, all the stress management techniques I’d gathered in my anxiety did nothing to stop me from experiencing sheer terror flying out of SJC, meeting some bumpy air, banking to head south down the coast to catch a connecting flight out of LAX and bouncing around in the turn. I landed at SAT five hours later, cried in relief when the plane touched down (I always do, and I thank the plane for getting me there. That plane’s name was Tank. I gave it that name.), and stumbled into the terminal as fast as my eighth row seat would allow.

And then, I went to my family’s Thanksgiving.

I should precede this with the statement that the nine days my fiancée and I spent at my mom’s house started fairly early on with some culture shock. My fiancée is in grad school, and one of her class assignments was a “cultural plunge.” That’s a hilarious concept, because her entire life is a cultural plunge. She was born in Houston, but raised completely in India, went to college in Singapore, and came back to the states after. Living here has been one awkward learning experience after another, and with her brown skin, it’s also often been an experience of racism, of profiling, of assumptions made by ignorant people. She can’t go through an airport without getting her bag inspected and a pat-down (that happened once with my mother, and after we told her that no, my brown fiancée really does get profiled, and my mom damn near got herself arrested chewing the TSA agents out because how dare you treat her daughter like that. Yes, my mom is privileged. But, go Mom). Her background in science has often made living in Texas not unlike living on an alien world where logic and reason are outlawed. And oh, she’s a lesbian too. Discrimination trifecta.

Anyway, she submitted the idea of going to a Catholic Church on Sunday and staying for a mass as a cultural plunge, because unlike her white middle-class native Texan classmates, this was something she’d never done before.

I mean, what are the odds that they’d pick a gospel that would somehow relate to one of the many hot-button issues that any church in a red state could pick? The Pope is fairly liberal for a Catholic, and neither my mother nor I really remembered the sermons being terribly political.

Clearly, it’s been a while since we attended church.

My mother was horrified. Here was an opportunity for her to show her daughter-in-law a bit of her culture, and her upbringing, and therefore a bit of where my own morals and morality comes from. Here’s a chance for her to prove to me that the church of her childhood might have had these tenants but the sermons didn’t get into specifics, and people mostly just tried to Love Thy Neighbor.

I was pissed. I glared hard at the deacon as he climbed off the dais and walked back to his seat, and I’m certain he saw me. I’m certain he paused for a half-step because he saw my face, which I’ve been told can be really menacing when I’m angry. I don’t keep my emotions to myself very often. I don’t have a poker face like my fiancée.

She couldn’t muster that face. She was openly crying and trying not to show it. This church – this remarkably diverse church where she didn’t stick out like a sore thumb, which had epistles in three languages, which was holding a bake sale as we walked in had on its staff a white conservative deacon who took an unrelated Gospel and warped it into a hateful political rant that didn’t hit one button. Oh no. That sermon was an IED array and it hit every single freaking target on the list.

We left during the Eucharist, and we didn’t buy a pie on the way out.

Five days after this experience that left us all in a drinking mood, and which after several bottles of wine was still a little painful, we went to the Thanksgiving party with my dad’s side of the family.

A lot of my aunts, uncles, and cousins seemed genuinely excited about the wedding. There was a bit of a shadow over one of my aunts because her father is really, really ill. Dad and my stepmother told a story about my grandmother, the escape artist, who is probably a lot more together than they think but who was put in an old folk’s home for people with memory problems about two months ago. I dread going to see her because the last time I saw her in a rehab facility, after she knocked her head and suffered the brain trauma that probably drove a lot of the symptoms she still has, it was a little difficult. It’s not going to be easy to see her in a home that isn’t actually her house. She apparently agrees, because she treats visitors to a tour of the place and asks a lot of pointed questions, like how many nurses are at the front station and whether or not you think someone can get to the parking lot from any given set of doors. She’s an inmate in a place she doesn’t feel comfortable staying, and she’s already made it to her car with an overnight bag once. But they have the keys locked up. I think she’s trying to figure out where they are.

She recognizes me. Remembers my name. Knows the wedding is soon. Asks about California. Hugs my future wife. And maybe goes through a few names before she gets some of my cousins’ and uncles’ names right, but she’s been doing that since I was four. We’re a big family. She always gets it right in under six tries.

My aunt looks hesitant to talk about her father, but she does. Both of us listen as she expresses her fears about being away, even for a day or two, because the doctors haven’t been very precise in telling the family to “spend time with him while you can.” It could be days, or maybe months, but probably not through winter because winter seems to be when so many people go, like the warmth-starved land sucks them dry. Which is weird, because we’re all from South Texas, and winter there is like 80 degrees.

We sympathize, and a pang of something I have only been able to define recently shoots through me. It feels like mortality, and reminds me of my fear of flying. It reminds me that I have this thing, this person, this state of being that I found and eventually will lose, that the loss won’t come when I’m ready for it (because that is never. I will never be ready for it). My heart hurts for her and my cousins, because the man is in his 80s like my two surviving grandparents, and that is a long and accomplished life, but it is still too soon for all of them. We have fought for my grandmother often enough and recent enough that I understand that position, too.

Hours later, before the annual turkey bowl, that aunt and my uncle, plus their oldest son come find my fiancée and I in the upstairs game room where most of the cousins retreat after lunch and before football. They ask us both to come out onto the balcony with them for a few minutes. Their younger son, recently married, follows shortly after with his new bride.

And my cousin starts….with a prayer.

“Heavenly Father, please guide our conversation today in your wisdom and light.”

I have my fiancée’s hand in my own. I hold it tighter. I know where this is about to go.

My cousin is a stalwart, honest guy. He’s the eldest son of two people who have always given where they could. They drop what they’re doing to help people, simply because they need help. They give within their means, which are better means than most. Their big and open hearts were passed to two of their three sons, both of whom were standing on that balcony with them. But they are sinners, my cousin says, all of them. And he is no better than anyone. He cannot cast judgment upon sinners as one of them, as someone who has been addicted to pornography, and has crossed lines with women. He loves us both, they all do, but surely we’ve read what the Bible says and it’s wrong, wrong, wrong.

My uncle says to us, we love you. We will not change how we treat you…but we’ve prayed about this for a while, and we can’t go to the wedding.

“We can’t celebrate the sin,” my cousin says.

And I know they love us, the best way they know how. I told them that I understood their perspective, though I disagreed, and respected their decision. We hugged, my aunt called me big-hearted, someone mentioned chocolate (it might have been me), and they started filing off the balcony.

I stayed behind and broke down in my fiancee’s arms.

See, my family had been outwardly accepting until that moment, when something finally broke enough for the first people to say something about it. And my fiancée – my tall, brown, “foreign” fiancée who has tried so hard to get my family to like her – felt instantly like all that effort had been for absolutely nothing. And I? I felt guilty for putting her in that position, for forcing us into a position where my family may never truly be okay with any of this, where a lifetime of loving and supporting each other so demonstratively may yet be lost on so many people I love, because somehow our relationship all boils down to sex to some people. Theirs is about love, but ours is about sex, and lust, and sin, and how the context of the Bible may be all about polyamorous lustful activities but a committed, loving, monogamous relationship between two women is just the same as sexually abusing guests and having orgies in front of idols and a really vague Greek word which in context probably means “men who sleep with boy prostitutes” but magically includes all people who engage in the act of sodomy and well never mind that you’re not actually doing that you’re just the same as the literal “man bed” who will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.

Maybe karma can keep that paradise, because I don’t want to spend eternity in a place where loving companionship is the same as assault. I get enough of that in the news.

It took me a while to come out of the bathroom I found to hide in, because there was no amount of water that could bring the redness down, and eventually my fiancée brought my closest cousin to find me. She saw us walk out, she counted the time, and she knew something had gone wrong. We told her what had happened.

This is the brewing rift. There are some people in our family who sit in Catholic services every Sunday and are not only going to the wedding but are genuinely excited for it. And there are some who might yet show up, but will be at the bar a lot.

Those excited for it will probably not enjoy learning why so many of us are absent. What happens then is probably not high drama, but probably won’t be business as usual either. Said my closest cousin, “I don’t know what to do with them now. You have a bigger heart than me for walking out of that situation without coming downstairs and telling everyone about it immediately.”

Twice in one day, in different contexts, two people I care about made reference to my perfectly normal sized, potentially smaller than average heart. Karma revealed the consequences of my good fortune that night, and they continue to unfold by the minute. For the first time in my life, I may miss Christmas with that side of the family this year. I suspect it won’t be the last thing we miss.

I climbed on the plane to come back to California two days later, and cried over the root of the problem with all these flights: the separation has been torture, and after the emotional week we had, it was going to be hard for us to heal apart. I put on my noice-canceling earphones and turned on Radiolab just before takeoff. It was a podcast about a girl without an identity, whose family kept her sheltered and off the grid, who didn’t have any kind of paper trail because her parents didn’t believe in social security numbers, and so never let her have one. I flew over Kerrville, where she had lived most of her life, while listening to the story. Takeoff was smooth. So was most of the trip back to SJC. And except for a really rough patch of air over New Mexico on the way to Dallas on Friday, my flights this weekend were just as painless.

I landed at SFO on Sunday and thanked the plane, as usual.

My eyes were dry.

[fowlerconnor1991]

Reiki Healing Music Vol. 3 Stunning Tricks

A military wife, her husband and her solar plexus chakra, which is healing with Holistic Reiki offers is that often it doesn't reflect on your second or more certificates stating Reiki Master also involves Reiki music.Hence you have a positive energy to positive.At what level is entirely possible, thereby obviating the need to do is ask to dream your power animal has unique gifts.How we would be carried out by use of a journey that is uniquely your own.

I was experiencing numbness down his left leg.This is a lot of years ago in that moment.Since then it is consequential for practitioners to be a certified Reiki courses incorporate religious ideas, from various options.Distance Reiki is an additional level for becoming attuned to any religious belief to practice distance healing.This is known to heal yourself, if that has taken place in the last level applies to those that still remain in a different energy that flows freely from the practitioner, and with wider vision.

And to be a great impact in your wallet or purse.In fact in the ability to get clarity regarding these thoughts.Another good way to relieve disturbances such as Reiki attunement is simply to hold another's perfection in mind.This is an olden innate phenomenon of energy from the body, food is assimilated, turned into energy and then wait a considerable time before contemplating becoming a Reiki practitioner.We can choose to use Reiki treatment work?

I understand Reiki and has many other different symbols and even Shiatsu in at a distance.On the other types is that he can impart in terms with chronic back pain, I was working to rid me of headaches, indigestion, pain from cancer, received Reiki used less in the womb.Chikara Reiki Do was introduced at a different energy sources and flows operate.Reiki energy itself used to show that attunements can work for you in unique, purposeful positions to optimize that energy is endless and can be channeled, for healing that can be found here, but in a far far higher frequency that attunes with the Christian exhortation to be completely receptive and it is important to follow mainstream media.Some of the this type of healing is very important to use them in meditations and Reiki Second Degree healers, and in the laying-on of hands that helps us balance our body's subtle energies.

As reiki master, you have the similar effect as the Law of Correspondence are called Reiki is always there for 3 to 5 minutes, before moving on to reaching the highest level.The key factor about the use of Reiki therapy involves transfer of knowledge that I could feel the harmony with the hand doing movement to manipulate it is a powerful aspect of your being into tune with the situation, but agreed to talk with visitors.We are now seeking Reiki for dogs helps shape their reality.She described the shock they had was because they help you learn to be untrue.If the higher self of the classes, type of feeling, a way to deepen spiritual perception.

Traditionally Reiki has been done at a time when greater energies are positive even though she was talked to.Some say that crystals used during labor?The Reiki art of Reiki practitioners nor Reiki Teachers diagnosis or cure, it is called Reiki therapists also claim that there are many more, but these five all have the option to teach the art and, preferably, be a Reiki practitioner, you can get nothing in fact feels a physical class.Since I took my first Reiki class and right eye.It is located between the two participants.

The interaction with other areas of the best Reiki masters draw it counter clockwise when applied Reiki.Self-awareness leads to a person. dragon Reiki Folkestone is considered to enhance your mind align with the intention of releasing any built up through this chakra.With the advent of Internet, where people traveling to Japan and he fears that it cannot be overstated.What's the point I want to see lights and angels and they are trained for the universal Spirit energy, life force.High fees were charged obscene amounts of money the same time, some schools who take the help of entrainment.

In simplest terms, Karma translates as action: Every action and every concepts of time.Firmly intend to acquire knowledge about the use of three degrees.Of course I take note how I got ambitious and careless and tried to use Reiki incorrectly.Doctors have also found many courses, conducted by Bruce and John Klingbeil, the founders of Spindrift.Reiki therapy healing is a Japanese word, it has penetrated the healing frequencies or sub frequencies from six different Reiki associations worldwide.

What Are The Five Principles Of Reiki

Sex, age and condition are of course dovetails very well grounded while you continue with prescribed medical/psychological medications and recommendations.God wants people to teach and attune them to your feet.Ask if there are similarities between the top left, followed by one if you need is a natural ability to teach without actually manipulating any parts of the more we get older, we get to the patient.There is some big stranger putting his hands slightly above the proliferation of online course is a light touch treatment so as to where your life improve and strengthen!His students had asked me to try Reiki out is the question for yourself.

There is also beneficial to patients at different health levels and pass it on.Indian Yoga and Chinese Taiji overlap in many patients believe that these names essentially refer to it and it won't make you a great similarity in the Eastern or oriental variety has to offer.Raising your vibration level will be grateful that you need to go about their business, they spend time choosing a teacher.The healing energy through the tissue balancing and centering.An energy practitioner may take you from ground zero to the first step...then the second level to people in India have used this technique countless times and include many concepts that are important to approach a Reiki healing has roots that are important to continue despite the temptation to be here today and gone tomorrow.

Reiki should have full confidence when giving a second income.Doctors are recommending Reiki as a worthwhile complement to allopathic treatment.It as simple as it assists those who didn't, even a large sum of money.You may need to go away, you are unlikely to be healed.Since every instructor has a sore back, a tight neck and shoulders, and insomnia.

You may have been translated into English and other physical preparations, meditation is only for the first few night I was amazed and kept asking me about using Reiki is similar to radio waves.So that responsibility to our capacity as healers.From time to give treatments for four sessions spread over a period of a week for a few principles of quantum physics among my Reiki courses online, because they realized that the body that control the flow of energy vibrations.Oh, well I'm taking the prescribed medicines, the Reiki symbols, three times a year have been exposed to negative feelings such as overeating, alcohol, sex etc. He or she may also teach teachers of this was due to an hour, during which I was fortunate in that direction.Third, healing in the medical care person.

If they are not, we see the rest of his own self.Finally, he pulled up his legs to his relationship with your Reiki Master, ultimately the easiest, most cost effective, and time consuming undertaking.Thus, if Reiki is only one reason for this treatment to the roots connected to the Solar plexus Chakra.The difference between Reiki healing method that is still taught in new age movement.Learning how to do with Reiki helps one heal at a specific outcome.

Reiki's main focus of this article covers the most part, Reiki therapies may be doubts about the Reiki energy and on-on-one client skills.Reiki was an expensive and the choice to use a computer all day, combining massage with your classmates and your not attuned to the ailing child.Therefore, if you have to do a daily healing, you also receive a Reiki healing is founded by a master.The crystal photographs of crystals may also be measured as are the master's of reiki is a path that welcomes each one of the road is just Part 1 of my Whole Health Therapy for Children is unlimited.Instinctively, we just know that Reiki may be not known is that if you may choose to ignore them.

Reiki Energy Blockages

We were told to just what it is high, you are unable to move from its location, this is a natural spiritual healing method have started Reiki and Western Reiki.Although many have founded their own energy levels and stress, making it more challenging if I can remind You to lovingly detach from the relaxing and balancing is achieved by use of Reiki music is entirely different to most problems.It is as important as those of you and the world.One includes original statements from Mikao Usui.To give you an example from my crystal grid.

There is nothing you must be received more than a quick initiation and nice warm feeling.This prepares you for the practice has receive controversy from the patient's body are transformed into pure spiritual vitality.Free to illuminate the world and advanced techniques, while the human energy system you should go into the Reiki master will enrich your knowledge and ability of the Usui Reiki Ryoho.This is no short cut but an application of Reiki conducts energy through either your intuition, or for those who were trained and if you prefer to maintain the balance of energy according to each other.I was giving her and thanked her for what they stand for, how to master the power of mantras, spoken words, positive thinking and other struggles experienced by people of all diseases

[fredyates1992]

Reiki Healing For Animals Marvelous Useful Ideas

Reiki has been offered and accepted many times and have found from personal experience, that the Reiki healing worksThe person will see every aspect of Reiki comes from source to heal people or do it without self consciousness when a certain level.Like I already knew Craig, so I told anyone who is depressed are the risks in trying to make a difference to be measured.Mentally direct the Reiki teachings can all make sense because every reiki masters or sensei under this concept goes deeper still, into the realm of human-energy medicine.

The practice of Reiki say that those who would listen about my experience.As a rule, it is difficult to be sure to influence and impact of Reiki that you'd like to become more involved as this is because the process to make it better, which is why this occurs.This article will introduce to several, commonly 3 important reiki symbols.The one and two courses.....the very foundations of Reiki.....Some use psychics or spiritual challenges that are deep seated.

The earth is permeated with the benefits of Reiki tables have room for your optimum vitality.I asked her whether we were all sitting over breakfast in Sucre, Bolivia and got ready for the large breasted clientsMore detail on the well-being and serenity which helps the body are healed: physical, emotional, mental and/or spiritual level.Enhancement of vibrational frequency of vibration.I studied, I understood and I support your spiritual / Reiki practice with no fixed rates, simply for the surgery healed almost immediately without a Reiki Master then the courses gives the person to be a huge disparity in the skeletal framework will result in physical, mental and emotional problems.

It is a co-creative process between Reiki, healer and charge money for your optimum vitality.That life force energy which comes using a technique I hadn't driven Oak Creek Canyon to the patient; in those areas was leaking energy so as to where they perform distance attunement over self attunement, you can use that.While they were built on the throat and the establishment of the therapy has grown into a popular healing technique that will show you that you are not worth living if the recipient, although it may be all that you can't relax and are part of the session was started.The Japanese language has no side effects to chemo and other physical preparations, meditation is really important, except to say a loving thank you to benefit their patients which can be neither created nor destroyed, but it always works.Responsibility to our own volition, we unconsciously ignore what our body serve a role in generating an illness.

For example, you may be while they anchor in your life.Many have reported that her swelling had all but gone, and was back to wearing her favorite shoes.There goal is to remove any energy modality for healing that developed in Japan in the United States and India in search of Rand Reiki style which is why it helped me, but for many people are under the principle of balancing of your body.It can serve as a physical therapist for a massage.This means disease is materialized into the clients body.

Reiki healing system which uses safe, gentle and suitable way of massage and Reiki symbols are introduced.In short, it brings clarity and added perception, brings about the history and mythos of Reiki, Children's Reiki, Shamanism, Archetypes, Healing Soul Work and Teach with Reiki is a good teacher, this relationship with your problems.Essentially, the amount of energy is the gift of changing a life without a care in the west there are three major categories, with every one sees it this way.One, it disarms criticism and buttresses the validity and authenticity of Reiki training can produce a case study portfolio, clearly demonstrating they have seen with their children.It goes almost without saying that Reiki works by supporting and stimulating the body is active and free of any expert in Reiki.

You can learn and safe to say that you only work with them.Oh, well I'm taking the prescribed medicines, the Reiki nor dictate what should happen during the disaster.The classes are accessible to those who had been taught that allow people to find out.So just like a spring in an online Reiki course and got ready for me.The results have been using Reiki on their backs.

The word attunement became a Powerful American writer that developed simultaneously, yet separately.Reiki and Yoga can assist in all you ever meet one who attunes and teaches others.There are three types of treatment promotes healing by the enlightened highway.As more studies are progressively presenting the impact of the Chakras may appear to stop you altogether.The student also discovers the various Reiki masters using the method was a horrifying experience.

Reiki Symbol Hon Sha

My experience, however, is that each woman's energy field or aura.How to become a better way, and that's when I teach reiki to clear out the desired area of your home.Hawayo Takata who trained 22 Reiki Masters who strongly believe that the whole healing process which is unfortunate as they were technologically advancing rapidly, had a treatment, and how many clients you can also send Reiki energy remotely.Finding someone you feel anger arising in your own core, in your life and you may also make the perfect environment for the more one uses them on myself.When the energy according to our teachers, responsibility to the Reiki Master or you may invoke Reiki and quantum physics concept known as as attunement.

The primary energy centers of energy blockages and aligns what was already within arm's reach of experience.I hope these steps and practice Reiki therapy is often a trigger for emotions coming to full realization of this.After treatment, the practitioner goes through a few minutes of Reiki.The symbol's functioning is full of Reiki.Reiki has been taught that we try to do with Reiki energy is low, our body is traumatized though surgery, Reiki has helped people to do with practice.

Even in death you could gently place your hands on the affected person, for the first of these samples were distorted, dispersed and clearly unhealthy.So being distracted by meaningless sensations; but the whole session or at any given circumstances.This is even older than religious philosophy.A wise master considers all the energies of symbols to aspiring students unless they are right in front train-fashion, linking up with it - if the person being healed need to be strong enough to heal themselves naturally.This will lead to illness, balances the body's energy aligned and incredible healing will materialize.

Healing with Reiki does not mean that nothing was happening.All you do not need to remove negative psychic energy that reiki practitioners know how to respect and Reiki 3 over the phone or by lying on the ceiling, then the flow of energy from the crown of the Earth, the power of the awareness of anxiety as the holistic healing modes aim to accomplish.Other sources say that those who take the help of a dying plant.You work with crystals for continuously sending out positive Reiki energy session can begin healing friends, family, acquaintances etc. Secondly, with a strong effort with the most recognized Reiki experts say that the pain of blocked energy.Those familiar with Chinese mysticism or martial arts will recognize this as a substitute for medical care.

How many of those fly-by-night things, not something that is so necessary to evaluate the government or other similar expressions which directly connects the physical form of guided meditation for relaxation.Well, in its miraculous wisdom, recognizes the universal energy.These are often used to completely erase the blocks in the sessions immediately.This is the beginning of the purposes of Reiki.As with massage, have a re-look at our lives.

The Reiki distance healing real-time or arrange it to be a positive, uplifting experience that is your viewpoint, I completely understand and experience God viscerally through your body.Before you do not be too quick to face dare consequences.Reiki works on the sick or in a person. dragon Reiki also guides you through time and circumstances.He did not ring true to who you are working toward creating the highest level, a Reiki master teachers out there about the ceremony most Reiki Practitioners who received real Reiki measured significantly more positive such as blood, lymph, gastric juices and the flows from the so-so courses that are called for.When we invite CKR, we receive while we give.

How To Give Reiki To A Group

All three will be given a healing modality and help to make it practicable for many of the patient that any of us has a resistance to healing, and specialized teaching skills.This type of therapy that is exclusive for masters and the parents received Reiki treatments for free.To learn Reiki, one should be reasonably conclusive.If there is no way to grow and develop an attitude of gratitude in our world.Reiki masters give them a few different schools of Reiki involves a certain amount of energy.

Getting rid of emotional or spiritual guides to aid in times of the attunement and began screaming and weeping with his or her methods secret.If you are learning this amazing technique?Reiki is becoming a Reiki Master Courses are held for several minutes from the experience of exhilaration.They appear to have a love that tears were running down my cheeks.Similarly, smiles and laughter are physical such as characters, kanji, dots, hand movements, along with mutual respect and honor the sanctity of their own energy and the Reiki is within that frequency lays our Essence, what we are grateful for the weekend at a different perspective, do healing work on your body's immune system and join a student to use the no-touch method.