#I’m always doing this to myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chloesimaginationthings · 5 months ago

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There's doomed yuri... in my FNAF ruin?

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stuckinapril · 10 months ago

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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

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youre-dreaming-302 · 3 months ago

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More photos from my digital camera (7.2 megapixels)

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k1tty5 · 3 months ago

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pearlie based off a photo i saw on pinterest

the photo + version w/out the red moon. because. i can’t decide if it’s better with or without

#my art #pearlescentmoon fanart #double life fanart #trafficblr #these grayscale.things. have been very fun. but i am also realizing i very much should have had the reference up while drawing #instead of just. drawing from memory. because. why did i draw the mouth so small. do i always do that. what is happening #my perception of reality is crumbling #i’m TRYING to refrain from talking myself down but also. i just. kind of. hate. this. like i just. don’t. like it. something went wrong #plus i just know there are a bajillion mistakes that i didn’t care to fix #eughdhdgshlk.#i talk too much

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danandfuckingjonlmao · 11 months ago

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ok everybody block dnp on all socials they have eyes everywhere. they know way too much. those omniscient fuckers are always watching. no one is safe.

like what do you MEAN you know about those stupid “real voice” compilations and people absolutely clowning about jumpcuts and smudged whiskers and what do you MEAN you’re aware of those 2009 phan theories people still debate to this day? what happened to “i don’t check my indirects” “i don’t go on the tags”?? i bet you’re lurking RIGHT NOW reading this very post. all men do is lie. can’t trust anyone 😤😪

#/j #dnp #dan and phil #pinof #phan #gamingmas 2023 #yeet my deet #dan howell #daniel howell #amazingphil #phil lester #danisnotonfire #i didn’t participate in the phandom until they came out #i was an older phannie i started watching at age 16 #so i knew better #so this feels like i’m being punished for something i didn’t do #and having always been mortified and embarrassed by the shit yall would say back in the day #my only respite was “ok maybe dnp didn’t see this”#no they’ve seen EVERYTHING #you’re past is coming back to haunt you but your past is also coming back to haunt me lmao #to be clear i am part of the problem simply for consuming phan/phandom media at the time and therefore giving those videos views #but i was always terrified of the phandom #like i didn’t even consider myself part of the phandom for my first 4 years as a phannie #i was a closet demon phannie lol #i started participating after they came out and we were all actual adults about it and super respectful #i was like we’re all old and gay now i love this for us #yeet my deenp #bog

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ontheoutside-lookingin · 4 months ago

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“She’s so sweet she’s always going out of her way to help others” quick someone give that girl all the love and safe space she deserves before being “sweet” (pathological people pleasing as a trauma response) destroys her and leaves behind a bitter empty shell of a person

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fumifooms · 10 months ago

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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.

His grey hairs are so earned

#Chilchuck tims #dungeon meshi #analysis #HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY #You know what yeah understandable have a good day #Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm #I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s #how he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺#I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many #compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol #He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!!#I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers #He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help #Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’#is nice in his opinion #This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost…#OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level.#‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc #Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡#Laws are important to him bc he knows how bad punishment is if you break them and how they’re the key to getting better rights

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adhdandcomics · 2 months ago

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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:

does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies

#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked #has been just so. mean about it #not even intentionally #not always at least #but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things #that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person #ever had #this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame #idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it #see it as a personal choice to be late #and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t #you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general #and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices #it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for #bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing #and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves #and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else #there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month

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chrissy-kaos · 3 months ago

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Why.. why does this always happen to me 😭

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cyberpunk-deadboy · 6 months ago

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change is destruction, you know?

#art ☆#isat fanart #isat isabeau #isabeau isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #sorry i think about isa friendship quest always and forever #*cough* if you look you will notice the fact the kid has the same earrings that isa does *cough* in reference to the fact he says #that kid is still in there #*cough* isa is no longer that kid but that kid lives within him and stays with him and he’s grown around them *COUGH*#i will see myself out sorry #i’m planning on a part 2 to this btw. eventually. about the other half of his dialogue. here #i’m normal #also I DID LINEART FOR THIS #FUCKING BE PROUD OF ME I NEVER DO LINEART #okay tag ramble over sorryyyyy

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skinandscales-if · 6 months ago

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Skin & Scales: Chapter Two is NOW AVAILABLE

Thank you everyone again for your patience for this chapter’s release, I hope the content proves worth the wait! Please enjoy and a reminder that I follow the tag #S&S IF and you can always tag me personally if you have any thoughts to share!

PLAY HERE

In this chapter:

- Meet the last 2 ROs!

- Continue your investigation

- Take to the sky!

- Play a round of basketball

- Disassociate at a sandwich shop

- And more!

Content Warnings for this chapter:

- Depictions of violence

- Depictions of anxiety

- Depictions of panic attacks

- Kidnapping

- Talks and displays of prejudice and dehumanization

Wordcount: 73k

#S&S: update #hiiiiiii :)#S&S IF #S&S #sns #skin and scales #skin and scales game #interactive fiction #IF #IF update #my art #S&S: art #ty to my wonderful beta team I’m hugging all of you #and everyone else who’s excited! yahoo!#as always shoot me any errors you come across and I’ll do my best to patch them asap #but enjoy in the meantime!#i can feel myself getting SICK ugh #so apologies if responses aren't as quick

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stuckinapril · 8 months ago

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The whole “be responsible not for other people’s feelings but to them” distinction is so so true… at some point you need to realize that other people’s insecurities really are their responsibility & dimming or contorting yourself to make them feel better helps neither you nor them. Firstly, bc they need to realize what they’re doing and grow up. And secondly, bc you’re not just compromising on a one-time thing. You’re comprising on who you are as a person. I don’t want to look back when I’m older and stay stuck wishing I held my ground despite people’s projections or asserted my presence more or didn’t apologize so much for who I am. I really just want to own everything (the good and bad) & continue doing what makes me happy

#This is something to bring up to the therapist for sure bc im not perfect on this yet #and i think that’s also another thing im learning to be less hard on myself for — just realizing im 21 and that having insecurities or weak #Spots still is literally okay. Making mistakes is okay. I beat myself up for this too much #I am not a horrible person for being young & learning how to live & no one will make me feel otherwise #This goes in the other direction too in the sense that I need to stop being apologetic of my accomplishments for fear of #Triggering other people’s insecurities. That is not and nor will it ever be my responsibility #I’m always going to be graceful w other people’s emotions but I’m no longer going to overcompensate bc it helps no one #And is not a marker of love for me to do so

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camtot · 8 months ago

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The feeling of buying yourself a little treat

#boba is always what I buy myself when I’m running errands I don’t wanna do #pottery #ceramics #my art #plate

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littlecrow4 · 20 days ago

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How we feeling about this??? Good? Bad?

Part of a fic I’m writing

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literallyjusttoa · 2 months ago

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Realized I've barely talked about like, any characters in the riordanverse other than Apollo and Meg, so here's a list of my top ten riordanverse characters in order.

Apollo

Meg

Jason

Annabeth

Leo

Grover

Thalia

Commodus

Hazel

Octavian

I am very biased in some regards lol. If y'all want some general hot takes send me an ask I feel like being kooky and crazy today lmao

#trials of apollo #heroes of olympus #pjo #sunny speaks #Apollo is always number one no matter what #I feel like Percy and Nico not being on this list is gonna get me burned at the stake lmao #it's funny bc when I first read pjo as like an 8 year old Percy was my fav #and then when I reread it when I was like 16 Grover was my fav #and I just reread it like a week ago and now Annabeth is my fav #Me to myself: Inconsistent king <3 #I’m not tagging all these characters but I guess like #toa apollo #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #jason grace #annabeth chase #leo valdez #I’ll do the top five lol

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cockroachesunite · 2 months ago

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Look how they cannibalized my boy

#in light of recent events #i felt a mighty need to redraw this scene #can’t believe the terror got another thing right #james fitzjames #og james fitzjames #the franklin expedition #historical james fitzjames #franklin expedition #james fitzjames fanart #polar exploration #my drawings #the terror fanart #amc the terror #the terror #the terror adjacent #og jfj #i can’t believe they ate my baby #insane #still reeling tbh #started drawing this immediately upon hearing the news #because i’m sick in the head #i think i had convinced myself that he was the Washington bay aglooka #and i told myself that if he had lived that long maybe he had lived a lot longer #maybe he was one of the few that nearly made it back #one could always hope #until now that is #i have very mixed emotions about this #i am both glad we know (finally!!!) and i also kind of wish we didn’t #really i wish that he had made it #but there’s nothing i can do about that

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