#I’m also not the straightest person i could be so that’s a whole other thing

[almondcroissantsandink]

I’ll be back to the arcane sillies shortly but my government has been making me incredibly nervous and scared lately

[gay-dorito-dust]

Damian thinking he can cure depression and all of your negative mindsets by letting you cuddle and hug Bat-Cow.

He’d personally drag you all the way to the barn and then promptly point towards the half-awake cow lounging in the farthest corner and with the straightest face he says;

‘Hug the cow y/n.’

You’re confused, you’re depressed and have told him so in confidence, and here he was demanding that you cuddle up to the bovine, who was staring at you both with their dark eyes.

‘Why?’ You’d ask, eyes never leaving the cow and Damian sighs impatiently. ‘It’ll cure your current aliment of depression.’ He says with such certainty that you almost believed him for a minute…almost.

‘Damian this is stupid, even for you-‘ however before you could finish your sentence, Damian was already pushing you from behind towards Bat-Cow, who only watched as you were positioned into their warm side, silently chewing before becoming disinterested and went back to resting their head on the floor.

Bat-cow didn’t smell the greatest but then again…they were a fucking cow but they were warm and fluffy and comfortable, so much so that you ended up cuddling further into them found yourself falling asleep almost instantaneously with a small smile on your lips. ‘Good Bat-Cow…’ you murmur sleepily as the bovine only huffs out hot air, unfazed at you cuddling them as everyone from Damian to even Jason had come once in a while to cuddle up into their side.

Damian made a satisfied noise and was about to leave when he noticed that there was a space big enough for him to slot himself against Bat-Cow also. He shifts he gazed all across the entire barn, making sure he wasn’t being observed somehow, before cuddling himself into the side of the large animal.

Damian wouldn’t find out until way later that he was indeed being observed as he chased after Tim throughout the manor, sword in hand.

Jason who loves to cuddle you as though it’s been forever since you last saw each other.

(It had been five minutes max, you needed to piss.)

He’d even make it his personal mission to carry you in his arms anywhere and everywhere he went in the apartment. He will not hear the cliche ‘I’m too heavy’ bullshit excuse, let him carry you in his arms damn it! He wants to hold you! Do not reject him this golden opportunity!

He doesn’t care if anyone like Bruce, Dick or Roy are present because if anything it shows them that he had someone in his life that he loved and adored more than anything. Roy/Dick -mainly Dick- may tease him to high heavens about it but Jason only shrugs it off and says albeit childishly: ‘well at least I have someone to hold onto every night unlike you dickhead.’ Before casually carrying you into the kitchen with him to grab a drink.

(Remember that ‘Gator needs his gat, you punk ass bitch.’ tiktok Trend where ppl picks up their friend? Yh that’s what goes on in my head when writing this.)

Jason fears as though he’s not spending enough time with you. Which is bullshit because this man spends every waking moment with you being cute and loving and just the absolute best in general.

He’s not use to the whole relationship thing and he’s overthinking everything he’s doing and worries that it might be the breaking limit for you. So all you got to do is hold his face in your hands, rest your head against his own and reassure him that he was spending more than enough time with you. It’ll probably won’t get rid of the notion that he wasn’t doing enough for you out of Jason’s head, but at least it was something that he could be reminded of when he was getting too lost in his thoughts.

He’s a worrywart and a big one at that, but as long as you keep being his anchor, keep being the reason his head feels a lot clearer and so on, then Jason will gradually come to learn that he never needs to worry about anything when you’re more than happy to keep reminding him that it’s okay to worry, and that he wasn’t being suffocating or otherwise.

Jason maybe physically imposing and intimidating to look at for some people but to you, he was like those badly stereotyped big dogs that are the biggest sweethearts. Dogs such as:

Rottweilers

XL bully dogs

Pit bull

Doberman Pinscher and more.

He’s a sweetheart who just looks intimidating, nothing more nothing less…unless you happen to be a criminal then Jason is anything but the word sweet or adorable as they’re getting their asses beaten.💀

Dick always asks you if you still love him after every minor inconvenience.

It doesn’t matter what happens or how it happens, he always give you those puppy dog eyes of his and pouts his lips. ‘Do you still love me?’

‘Dick we’ve been through this before, of course I love you.’ You’d reply.

‘But you looked really annoyed right now and I just wanted to know if you still like me enough to date me.’ He then says as he rests his head on your shoulder, pressing himself against your back.

You sighed before looking over at him and pressing a tender kiss to his cheek. ‘Does that clear everything up for you?’ You asked rhetorically as Dick beamed brightly and stole a kiss from your lips, reinvigorated. ‘Yep.’ He’d respond before moving on with the rest of his day.

If you were to accidentally forget to kiss him good morning or before you were leaving for work, Dick would take full offence as he places himself in front of the door, arms crossed and lips formed into that pout you were more then familiar with at this point. ‘You hate me.’

‘Dick I’m in a hurry!’ You cry, looking at the time.

‘And you forgot my good morning kisses!’ He’d cry back at you and you would be several minutes late to work, all because you were making up for the misses kisses. You hate Dick sometimes but you knew you couldn’t be mad at him for long when he’d smother in kisses upon arriving him from work, so you guessed he could be given a pass…just this once.

[thanksjro]

Transformers Holiday Special (2015) — Wishing You and Yours a Delightfully Secular Wintertime, Containing Absolutely Zero References to the Birth of Christ

Despite what some might like to think, Christmas isn’t for everyone; even with all the commercialization, at its heart, it’s still about the Baby Jesus. You can tell that we haven’t shaken the Christian connection, because the cover for this special issue has the father, the son, and the holy spirit, which is hidden behind the company logo.

And if Rodimus doesn’t stop screwing around, his resurrection’s gonna have to happen a lot sooner than Easter.

Because this is a comic special, things are going to be a little different. Instead of one standard-size issue, we’re getting three mini-stories, each with their own writer (from each of the comic runs that were publishing at the time) and artist. Our stories are listed here:

Don’t worry about what Ultra Magnus is up to behind that text.

Now, you may ask, why on earth am I covering this issue, which is a specifically Christmassy one, now, when it’s not currently Christmas? Well, according to Roberts, the story “Silent Light” takes place after MTMTE #49, and #50 is when the crew manifest for the Lost Light gets shaved down some, so realistically, this is when “Silent Light” happens in continuity. So I want you to keep in mind that Getaway’s Christmas isn’t going so great.

I won’t be going back to catch up on the other runs’ plots, as the Christmas stories are stand-alone.

Getting into it, our first story is:

Penned by Mairghread Scott and drawn by Corin Howell. We open up on a cityscape featuring a happy sun and some eye-searing narration boxes.

I went to Howell’s Twitter to see what her deal was, and was greeted with a banner consisting of a sexy succubus lady with her boobies out, so I’m going to assume she simplified her style for this issue, since mecha are hella difficult to draw.

Also, I hope you like the structure of How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, because that’s what we’re getting for the next little while, complete with chunky, white text on painful-to-view red.

Our story opens with all the transformers from the colonies visiting Cybertron and making friends with each other. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts, which pisses off President-King Starscream to no end. Being the drama queen that he is, Starscream feels that everyone should be paying attention to him 24/7 and feed him grapes as he reclines on a sofa, because hasn’t he done enough for all these sorry sacks of shit? He hasn’t even caused a war, unlike the last guy who was in charge. Bumblebee (who is a ghost) tells him to just be fucking nice for once in his miserable life, but Starscream wouldn’t be Starscream if he could settle down like that.

Our god-king of the planet calls for his aide, Rattrap, who is going to be in his alt mode for the entirety of this story, to help him set up for a public broadcast addressing his need for attention and adoration.

He sends Rattrap off to deliver the tape to the news, which seems to consist of two very sleep-deprived individuals. Because they’re apparently the only two robots stupid enough to attempt to cover the nightmare hellscape that is Cybertronian current events, the last bit of Starscream’s tape is cut off when one of them falls asleep on the switchboard. This turns Starscream’s personal worship holiday into “For the Love of God Be Nice to Each Other” Day. Everyone takes to it beautifully, getting BFF tattoos, going on vacation with their husbands, hugging in the straightest gay way possible, holding parades, giving each other bombs, and getting absolutely shitfaced.

Starscream, distraught that nobody is giving him the emperor treatment like he had wanted, sulks in his twin bed, then moves to his dinky little throne as the night wears on, making the most miserable faces he can the whole time. Eventually, Chosen One Day ends, and he’s been completely ignored. Very sad.

Then, there’s a knock on his door, and Starscream creeps over to the peephole just in time to be smashed flat by Wheeljack slamming the door open. Last time we saw Wheeljack he was assumed dead by most, and floating in a tank at Starscream’s behest. He’s gotten better since then, clearly.

Wheeljack came with friends— the entirety of the main cast for Windblade/Til All Are One, to be exact— and they’re here to make sure that Starscream isn’t completely alone on this friendship holiday he accidentally invented. Everyone toasts to his good, totally intentional idea, and Starscream decides against killing all of them for at least the next 24 hours.

Now pay attention to this next story, because it’s actually canon-relevant, because of course Roberts would write a holiday special mini-comic that ties into his overarching plot. Fucking nerd.

Our artist for “Silent Light” is Kotteri (or Kotteri!, as it’s been written on some of their other publications) the pen name for Ikumi Fukuda. Kotteri is primarily a manga artist, having created their own works and well as working on other projects. I admittedly can’t find much on this person, not even their preferred pronouns, TFWiki itself using “they”, which I will default to. All of the info they’ve provided themself is, of course, written in Japanese, but even running things through a translator only proves that information to be purely professional. Their personal Twitter is protected, and my follow request was never answered, as far as I know. There’s a fan Twitter account for their art that claims “she”, but I have no way to verify, and I don’t want to assume anything based on art style, because that’s sort of shitty. Let it never be said that I didn’t do my due diligence here— I fucking hate using Twitter.

We open with Rodimus having just returned from Meteorfest, a festival where you surf on meteors and avoid your co-captain and SIC’s calls like the putz you are. He’s greeted by said co-captain and SIC decorating assembling a Christmas tree cloaking machine and finishing each other’s sentences like an old married couple. Rodimus tries to deny the existence of Minimegs, then we get our heavy-handed and lampshaded explanation for the crux of the issue. Megatron handles Minimus like a baby doll as the two of them explain that the Lost Light is about to hit Mauler territory.

Maulers are notorious for wanting the Cybertronians dead, but Megatron is too much of a macho man to pussy out and go around them. So instead, the crew will be hiding in special sleeping pods that will mask their spark signatures, and pray to their pantheon of gods that no one notices the ship the size of Manhattan. Brainstorm has like fifteen new inventions, despite being on house arrest from his lab. Megatron’s autobot badge is wearing a hat. Merry fucking Christmas.

Over at Swerve’s, it would appear that everyone’s favorite television junkie is closed for business, as it’s just him, Nautica, and Whirl, sitting on the floor getting absolutely shit-faced on subspace-filtered engex. This might’ve been an issue, as folks are supposed to be bedding down in their B.E.D.s for the next leg of the trip, but Swerve slipped Magnus some Bing Crosby earlier so they’re cool right now.

There’s a banging at the door, and Whirl decides to answer, even though it’s not his bar, because if it’s trouble come a-knocking, it was probably looking for Whirl anyhow.

When Whirl answers, however, it’s not Magnus having caught wind of Nautica disrespecting the Autobot code, but an entirely different flavor of problem.

Now, I know that thing Whirl’s holding looks like a fucked up Hitachi Wand, but it is, in fact, an entire-ass baby robot. It seems that when Cerebros (Fortress Maximus’s friend, if you’ll recall) sent the engex through the subspace, this infant Cybertronian (Luna One-ian?) got mixed in with the other supplies.

We learn a bit about how baby Cybertronians work before we remember, oh right, this kid is gonna get everyone killed if they catch wind of her spark, since there isn’t a B.E.D. for her. Yes, it’s a girl! Congrats to our three idiots on their Cybertronian gender non-conforming little princess.

They gang decides to shunt her back through the subspace hatch, so they head over to where it’s currently being housed— the office of Ultra Magnus. Nautica, using her wits and all the tools in her arsenal, smashes the window to the office and they break in. The empty Magnus Armor sits in the dark like a grim monument to being married to your job. Whirl informs Nautica how to comfort the baby that he super for-sure doesn’t care about, handing her off while he uses his titty glass to replace the window in the door. Swerve tries to bite through iron chains holding the subspace hatch hostage, only to be stopped by the sound of justice coming down the hall.

The gang, of course, looks suspicious as hell standing stock straight immediately in front of Magnus’s office, but Minimus rather likes the change of pace out of these goofy morons, and is maybe also trying to deflect his embarrassment at being caught performing his own personal karaoke. He sends them off to their B.E.D.s, and it looks like all’s well that ends well until Whirl asks where Sparky is.

Yes, he named the baby.

Don’t worry though, he’s totally not attached or whatever.

Nautica, in her panic to not be caught stealing/vandalizing/using equipment she doesn’t have the clearance for, stuffed Sparky in the Magnus Armor. And also put the helmet portion back on the body, for some reason. Anyway, it looks like our little princess is gonna be a load-bearer when she grows up, because Magnus is up and looking for hugs. Nautica, a paragon of level-headed thinking in times of crisis, handles this in the best way she can.

And that’s a wrap on Minimus Ambus! Let’s give him a hand, folks! And let’s also give a hand to the new Ultra Magnus, Miss Sparky Whirldòttir! Where did that little scamp get to, anyhow?

Swerve nominates himself to be the one to drag Minimus to a B.E.D. to sleep off his concussion, leaving Whirl and Nautica to track down the baby.

The scene changes to Megatron announcing a last call for beddy-bye time on the intercom, just as Ultra Sparky enters the room. She looms over Megatron, putting him in a very compromising position as he hits the intercom button with his arm. Rodimus, climbing into his own B.E.D., wishes that his co-captain and SIC would stop being gay for, like, five minutes, or at least wouldn’t do it where it can be broadcasted throughout the whole ship in audio format.

Whirl and Nautica come save Megatron from the onslaught of physical affection, stating that “Magnus” has had a bit too much to drink. Megatron orders them to bed from his fetal position on the countertop.

It’s bedtime, but we still haven’t figured out how to get the kid back to Luna 1 so the Maulers don’t super-murder the whole crew. Nautica leaves Whirl to figure it out, getting into B.E.D. and wondering who the fuck knocked on the door in the first place. Whirl tells her not to worry about it and to go to sleep, so he can be the one to deal with this mess.

Whirl, notorious for doing all the nastiest jobs— former Wrecker, intended bullet sponge for the time travel situation, attempting suicide via Megatron— is going to add another tally to the list labeled “Reasons My Peers Don’t Really Like Me All That Much”, by throwing an entire baby out the air lock.

However, Whirl is being written by Roberts, who would never allow the number of robot babies to go down, so Sparky’s adorable assimilation of Whirl’s signature physical features gets him right in the soft underbelly he swears doesn’t exist.

Wow, Roberts put a baby in that robot. Surely this is as overt as we’re going to get with this imagery, since we’re in a major publication and not some fan-fiction!

ANYWAY

Whirl wakes up in the Medibay, emptied of infant and freaked the hell out about it. Velocity— who I will remind you is basically the only medical doctor on the Lost Light, since everyone else is too busy getting railed by weeaboos and joining unethical polycules to do their actual jobs—informs him that his daughter is, in actuality, a massive colony of scraplets that combined to look like a newborn.

It turns out that Nautica is a bit of a snitch, having spilled the beans after she woke up. Whether or not she thought Whirl had thrown the baby out the air lock isn’t really addressed, but thank god he didn’t, because then we would have had to send everyone’s favorite gun-addled dipshit to jail for the rest of forever. Checking security footage revealed who the mystery knocker was— it was the scraplets, forming the shape of an arm.

When Nautica asks how the hell they all survived this, seeing as Whirl kept the murder baby, Whirl informs her that he cut off power to his own spark to allow everyone else to live, including his sweet baby princess, winning him a #1 Dad mug, and also several emails from Rung to please make an appointment with him.

Whirl’s miracle Christmas baby lied and stole with the intent to murder everyone on board, and that makes her the ultimate daddy’s girl.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed this canon-important holiday special story about Whirl becoming a father.

In our third and final story, it appears we’ve been transported to Whoville, by the talent of our MTMTE Season 1 colorist, Josh Burcham. Within Whoville resides Anna Log, a human woman who owns two turbofoxes and sleeps in full military body armor on her couch. The wall in her living room suddenly explodes, revealing a late-night visitor.

Motherfucker, you are supposed to be on the ship right now.

Mega-Claus fusion-cannons Anna Log, and we cut to a film noir office where none other than Thundercracker has his feet up on the desk. The art grayscales for this section, as he narrates that he’s a detective. He’s wearing a fedora. It’s January 7th. He has a mysterious past and probably thinks that makes him very sexy.

The phone rings, cueing Buster, Thundercracker’s puggle, to put on her own fedora, and the two go to see the crime scene, where Thundercracker is the same size as a normal human man and wears a trench coat.

It turns out that Anna Log is the director of security for the entirety of planet Earth, which is sort of a big deal. When Thundercracker and the cops look at the security footage, they see who did it— Santa Claus, played by Megatron himself. Fucked up.

Sure, pal.

Thundercracker must now fly to the North Pole and kill Santa, because that’s how the law works. He transforms, flies by Club Penguin and a Coke commercial, reflects on his job, and then gets ready for a fight with Santa’s security measures, as Busters glowing nose warns him of incoming danger. She’s very talented, Buster.

Thundercracker makes quick work of the cybernetic security reindeer with his twin energy katanas and Buster’s jetpack. He kicks down Santa’s door to find the jolly elf himself standing in the dark, potentially rabid. The two start kung-fu beating the shit out of each other. It should be noted that this Santa isn’t the Megatron Santa, who shows up behind the two as they brawl, but rather original-flavor fat man Santa. How Thundercracker didn’t notice this isn’t addressed.

Thundercracker demands to know why Megatron dressed up as Santa Claus to commit a murder— the murder part made sense, Director Log and Megatron would be diametrically opposed— and Megatron reveals the greatest slight against himself he’s ever known.

Framing Santa for murder ain’t exactly gonna turn that coal into a diamond, Meggy baby.

Thundercracker clocks Megatron, he becomes besties with Santa Claus, and they ride a flying tank into the sunset. Thus ends Thundercracker’s most brilliant writing project yet, which he was reading to Marissa Faireborn this entire time.

Marissa isn’t terribly impressed, poking holes in all the little nonsense bits, while also not feeling thrilled about having been killed off in the first two pages of Thundercracker’s book. While the two argue, Buster and Ayana Jones make a Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown! reference together, and the issue closes out with a big ol’ Autobot symbol, even though Thundercracker was a Decepticon, Ayana and Marissa are humans, and Buster is a goddamned dog.

Thus ends the Holiday Special. Up next, more direct story progression!

[the-mxster]

Tensimm + Donna incorrect quotes (Pt 5)

Pt1 Pt4

Doctor: What are you up to?

Master: Boiling eggs

Donna: Those are ping pong balls

Master: Im not sure, it just feel like I’m living in the past.

Doctor: Awh :(

Donna: We literally traveled back in time

Master: *laying on the floor, covered in blood*

Donna: Omg what happened to them?

Doctor: They got run over by a car again

Donna: Why aren’t they in hosp-AGAIN?!?!?

Donna: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

Master: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.

Doctor: I’m worried about you.

Master: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.

Donna: Master, please!

Master: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

Master: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

Master on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Master on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

Master: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Master: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

Donna: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Master: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Donna: You don’t have to wear…

Master: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

Master: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can’t spend friendship on new clothes

Doctor: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-

Master: It was me...

Doctor: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Donna : I intend to stay pissed at you forever.

Donna : Even if I seem helpful.

Master: Then you're in luck.

Master: Because you don't.

Master: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Doctor: ...

Master: Oh, right. The lying.

Donna: You're violent.

Master: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

Donna: You know, people treat me like a god.

Doctor: How?

Donna: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

Donna: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

Donna: Can we go to a haunted house?

Doctor: What’s wrong with the one we live in?

Donna: Wh-what?

Doctor: Goodnight, Donna.

Master: Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again?

Donna: There isn't another one. You're crazy.

Doctor: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Master: Can't relate.

Donna : Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Doctor walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Master, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Master, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Master: Donna, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Donna: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.

Master: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask the Doctor.

Donna: Wait- Master, no-

Donna : Would you take a bullet for me?

Doctor: ...yes?

*Master angrily burst into the room*

Donna : *running away* Great, thanks!

Master: I want to be like a caterpillar.

Doctor: Explain.

Master: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.

Donna : You know they have a lifespan of a week, right?

Master:

Master: That's just another highlight!

Master: Thanks for not telling the Doctor what happened.

Donna , dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

Donna : But what about the Master?

Doctor: Don't worry about them.

Doctor: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

Donna: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

Doctor: Awwww-

Donna: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

Master: Oh.

Donna: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done?

Master: *sighs*

Master: I killed a man.

Doctor: It was difficult, so you’ve just given up. You might fail, so why bother trying?

Donna : Exactly.

Donna , to Master: I told you they’d understand.

Master: I can be your partner for the next race.

Donna : Sorry, Master. It's a sibling race.

Doctor: Maybe there's a contest for lonely children after this.

Donna : It's only children, Doctor. A lonely child is what you're gonna be when I sell you!

Master: I'm allergic to death.

Doctor: The ritual. To preform it requires a sacrifice.

Master: Sacrifice? I nominate Donna .

Donna : Wait, what?

Master: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.

Donna : I'm 5'5, it's like average height for women in most of the world!

Doctor: Its not that kind of of sacrifice guys!

Donna : Hey, Master, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Master: Yeah.

Donna : And you, Doctor?

Doctor: Umm... yes?

Donna : Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Doctor: Did they just-

Doctor: What’s sexting?

Donna: I'm not having this conversation with you.

Master: We have a problem.

Doctor: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Master: There's beer in the cooler.

Doctor: What about for the children?

Master: You can get water from that water fountain and use it to water down the beer.

Donna : Why don't we just give the kids water?

Master, angrily: I suppose you could do that!

Doctor: Guys, I have a question.

Donna : kys <3

Doctor: I love you too.

Master: Ah, yes. Siblings.

Master: Some people are like slinkies.

Donna : What?

Master: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Donna :

Donna : Please don't push the Doctor down the stairs.

Master, pushing Doctor down the stairs: Too late.

Donna : Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?

Doctor: I gotta give you credit, Master. You make it look easy.

Master: Years of practice.

Donna : Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.

Master: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.

Doctor: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.

Master: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Donna : There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Doctor way.

Master: Isn't that the wrong way?

Donna : Yes, but it's faster.

Doctor: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer.

Donna: Why are we so fucking awesome?

Doctor: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

Doctor: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that god is real.

Master: Why am I the bad guy?

Donna: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

Master: *sighs* I have no friends...

Donna:

Donna: *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

Donna : What is everyone for Halloween?

Doctor: I’m superman.

Master: A clown.

Donna : So I’m guessing we don’t need to get you a costume then?

Master: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Donna : Bet you I can!

Doctor: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

Master: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

Doctor: Life could be worse, Master.

Master: Life could be a lot better too!

Donna: That was a joke. Say ha.

Master: Ha.

Donna: Now do it again.

Master: Ha.

Donna: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.

Doctor: They say that the most valuable things cost nothing.

Master: They also say that being cheap is an annoying trait, so don’t overuse that excuse.

Donna : Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?

Master: Fake?

Donna : Thanks for pulling the fire alarm, you saved me from giving an oral report about The Scarlet Web.

Doctor: You were too lazy to read the book?!

Donna : I was too lazy to watch the movie.

Doctor, disappointingly, after security arrives to escort the Master and Donna out: So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out?

Master, in defeat: Let’s go.

Donna : Wait.

Master: What?

Donna : I’d kinda like to be carried out...

Donna : Hey, Master you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform.

Master: Have you ever been to a mortuary?

Donna : Yea, my grandma lives there.

Doctor: That is the worst response to that question.

Master: We’re about to do the taser challenge. You want in?

Donna : What's the taser challenge?

Doctor: We tase eachother, then drink.

Donna : How do you win?

Master: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

Master: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.

Doctor, blushing: Okay.

Donna : It's fucking summer.

Donna : Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults!

Master: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best?

Donna : Obviously. Now, Doctor, pass the shovel.

Donna : What's worse than a heartbreak?

Master: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

Donna : You really believe in the Master?

Doctor: Luckily, they believe in themself enough for the both of us.

Doctor: So when are we gonna tell them?

Donna : Just give them a minute.

Master: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

Donna: Do you ever think? Because I do not.

Donna: *cooking*

Master: *kicks down door*

Master: *grabs knife from Donna's hand*

Master: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR?

Donna:

Donna: What.

Doctor: They're trying to tell you they want to cook.

Donna (brainstorming ideas for pranking the Doctor): How much would a serial killer mask possibly cost?

Master: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful.

Donna: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that?

Master: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Donna.

Donna: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?

Doctor: *raises hand*

Master: *puts their hand down*

Master: Aww, what's your dog's name?

Doctor: K-9.

Master, yelling to Donna: TRY K-9!

Donna, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Doctor:

Master: What's your favourite number?

Doctor: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.

Doctor, gesturing to Master and Donna fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

Pt6

[dank-weedchester]

AITA but it’s beat sheet

transcribed under the cut

[screenshots show a reddit post on r/AmITheAsshole, which reads:

AITA if I sleep with the guy who’s best friend I’m scamming, if I’d also be helping him through his sexuality crisis (a necessary public service) AND he’s also a huge asshole to me

Okay, before anyone says anything, I know I’m definitely the asshole about some of the stuff in here. My question is SPECIFICALLY about my relationship with this guy, which I’ll get into in a second.

Long story short, my family isn’t very nice. They ask me to help them out a lot with business, and sometimes that involves people getting hurt. These are usually bad people, or they would be if we let them get any more powerful, but it’s still not great. Right now my target is this girl, let’s call her Chaz. She’s pretty nice, but I happen to know she’s into some shady shit that directly harms my family, so I don’t feel too bad for what I’m planning to do to her. It was through this girl that I met her best friend, this super fratty guy who is kind of a piece of work. Let’s call him Chad.

I’m gay, so I mostly steer clear of frat guys, but there was something about him that drew me in from the beginning. Well. He’s extremely attractive, but that’s not all. He acts like the straightest guy ever, but it’s almost … camp, in a way? Like he’s overcompensating. And when he’s drunk, I’m pretty sure I’ve caught him checking out dudes. Plus, he’s best friends with Chaz, who’s a lesbian, so there must be something she likes about him.

This might be my ego talking, but I’m pretty sure he’s been into me since we met. He acts like he hates me, but he doesn’t ignore me – in fact, he goes out of his way to let me know how much he hates me. There’s a bit of a homophobe vibe, true, but he didn’t even think I was gay at first (I ride a motorcycle) so I know it wasn’t about that at least to start. And then he acted super weird when he found out I was gay — again, could just be homophobia, but I know homophobia, and it didn’t really feel like that. Later, he asked me if I thought he was attractive. Straight guys do that sometimes, so I tried giving him a once-over to see how uncomfortable he would be, and he turned hilariously red, like he was into it but trying not to be. I’ve tried flirting with him, and at first he’s all like “no way man!” (excuse my imitation of his vernacular) but then two days later he’ll show up at some party I’m at totally wasted and flirt back. And then immediately leave to hook up with some girl, like the most overcompensatory no-homo ever, which is hilarious. It took me a little while to notice how weird his thing about women is — he sleeps with many, if he is to be believed, but he seems to enjoy bragging about it more(?) than the act itself, and I heard from a good source that he’s known for getting girls off and then not asking for anything in return. I don’t know if he’s bi or gay or what, but something is very weird about this man’s relationship to women.

A little while ago, we were at another party (I was stoned, he was drunk) and, I shit you not, he climbed into my lap and sat there for over an hour. I timed it. Later, when I walked him home, he tried to kiss me. I know I’m not wrong about that, I’ve thought about it from every angle.

So I really feel like I could seduce him if I tried. The problem is, I’m still planning on betraying Chaz, and right now it’s nothing personal, but if I sleep with her best friend it might become personal. Chaz will be hurt no matter what (this is where I know I’m the asshole, so don’t bother explaining it to me, although I suppose I can’t stop you), but Chad was never meant to get caught up in this, and if I sleep with him and become his gay awakening, he might end up with his feelings hurt later. On the other hand, he’s already been pretty rude to me, and I know he’s gonna make me do the staying-closeted thing if I go for it, which most other men would probably have a problem with. In fact, I might be the only one around who would put up with all his bullshit long enough to get there with him, and honestly, I think it would be doing him a favor. I can’t emphasize enough how 1. ridiculously fratty and 2. obviously into men this guy is. He’s got some problems and he needs to figure them out. I’d only be helping. Also – and please try to put yourselves in my shoes here – I must reiterate that he is extremely attractive (and, lest we forget, known to be generous). Honestly, I feel like the whole thing cancels out.

Tl;dr I know I’m the asshole for scamming Chaz, but would it be unfair to Chad to sleep with him?]

[haruhey]

opinions on other daryl ships? obviously #carylisendgame, but I’m wondering what your stances are on Donnie, Bathyl, Daryl x Leah, even Darsita (Rosita x Daryl)

hey anon!

ik you mean bethyl, but thinking of bath x daryl being a ship is kinda funny to me

anyways, onto your question !! i’ll keep it brief (i’m in my 8am rn) and i hope people won’t hate me for my stances lmao

DONNIE

very cute

i really enjoy their dynamic

i really really really love connie as a character

not really my thing though?? at least romantically

i just don’t really care for them romantically because the way i see daryl is that he needs time to develop romantic feelings (slowburn type of dude… like… super slowburn) and his relationship with connie doesn’t do that for me ig

though, i hate the narrative that connie’s contribution to the plot is to help caryl become canon because it diminishes connie’s character into that of like,, a singular love interest meant to be rejected or used as a stepping stone so this guy can go with his true love because she’s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT AND SHE IS ALSO MY GIRLFRIEND

idk i know there’s like a lot of animosity between donnie shippers and caryl shippers but like honestly it’s not that deep and when you’re hating on a character because they get in the way of your ship, i just think that’s so dumb

BETHYL

ik some people don’t care about the age gap/actually like the age gap, but i am not one of those people

i jokingly made a whole powerpoint about why i didn’t like bethyl and honestly it was pretty good

DALEAH

it’s a no from me im sorry

i just think they didn’t give her enough like,, substance?? as a character for me to like her? i thought she was cool until she kinda like,, she was lowkey kinda emotionally manipulative and i was off the leah train

and then season 11 happened and i was like lol okay i rlly don’t care for her

i’m actually more okay with the relationship now compared to when i first watched it in 10x18, and i think i’ve said before that i don’t necessarily think it was the most ooc thing daryl could have done during that timeskip

i still hope carol and leah meet tho

DARSITA

this has to be a crackship right

it’s fun. i like their moments

they’re also both hot. and i am not the straightest person on the sexuality spectrum, so sign me up

that scene in 11x14 where sebastian threatened their kids rlly got me

i also really like rosita as a character

if they somehow went canon idk what i would think

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Harry is pining. We also have a pining Louis fic rec list here and a mutual pining fic rec list here, if you’re interested. If you enjoy this rec list, please support it by giving it a like and a reblog to spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Could Be Kissing My Fruit Punch Lips | Explicit | 4554 words

Harry happens upon a porn site that specializes in live videos and sort of falls in love with the cute boy he only knows as Kitty.

And then he gets the surprise of his life when he finds out Kitty attends his university...

2) Put You On Repeat, Play You Everywhere I Go | Explicit | 8290 words

Harry is a college radio show host and Louis is a contemporary dancer attending said college. After a drunk hook-up, naturally a whole bunch of pining, dedicated love songs and make-out sessions on dance studio floors ensue.

3) Focal Point | Mature | 8935 words

By the time you read this, I’ll be gone, so don’t bother looking. Last night was lovely, Harry, I’m sure you agree. Sorry to run, but that’s just how life works sometimes, I’m sure you understand. Don’t forget about me. xx P.S. Thanks for the money.

4) Sit Next To Me | Mature | 12299 words

Harry Styles of One Direction always gets what he wants. Well, nearly always. What he can’t seem to figure out is why the very fit man who comes to assist Liam’s tattoo artist seems to have zero interest in him. Is Louis Tomlinson the straightest man alive? Or does Louis showing up for every show on tour mean something more is going on?  

5) Doesn't Have To Be A Real Thing | Explicit | 12532 words

In which Harry helps Louis get over his ex and it kind of becomes a regular thing. It’s totally casual – they have an understanding. But what happens to Harry when Nick reappears in Louis’ life?

6) Love Is Like This; Not A Heartbeat, But A Moan | Explicit | 13150 words

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen.

Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

7) Wake Me Up With It | Mature | 13699 words

The one where Louis makes Harry tell him a kink he's never gotten to try out, and then he offers to do it with him, which leads to Harry's heart exploding afterwards when Louis seems to have meant it as a one time thing. Featuring a pining Harry, a scared Louis, and an excessive use of the word baby.

8) A Love Reaction | Mature | 15802 words

It's never been a thing. Not until now.

9) Dance Like Warriors On A Battlefield | Explicit | 20028 words

Down in the arena, the triumphant gladiator places his foot on the back of the loser, holding him there as he waits for instruction on his next move. Kill or let live. It’s barbaric, really, the bloodlust involved in this sport. Louis is pretty sure that if it wasn’t for his distaste for the killing there would be a lot more blood soaking that sand.

As it is, his father rarely gives the kill order anymore. He gives the order to let the loser live. Louis rolls his eyes, turning away. He doesn’t miss the way the gladiator’s eyes linger on him.

10) A Springtime's Wilt, An Autumn's Bloom | Explicit | 25953 words

Harry is Louis' personal chauffeur, and although he hides his feelings for his boss behind a wall of rigid professionalism, Louis still manages to squeeze through the cracks.

11) I Didn't Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) | Explicit | 20681 words

These days Louis tends to steer clear of dating alphas. He’s dated too many knotheads in his time, and he’s ready to just focus on school and his friends and his pet monitor lizard, of course. Too bad the alpha next door won’t take a hint and stop using the worst pick up lines of all time on him. He’s really got to stop laughing with him--and talking to him and walking to class with him and letting him bring him coffee and tea and gifts for his lizard and watching Netflix together and...

12) England Has My Bones | Explicit | 24087 words

The next time Harry thinks about calling, it’s 4.14 in the morning on a Parisian hotel balcony.

13) Indestructible | Explicit | 24243 words

“Hi,” Harry murmurs, and Louis hiccups out a sob.

“Hi,” he manages, still clutching onto Harry’s shoulders. Harry’s fingers drift across Louis’ cheeks, and there’s something off about Harry’s expression, but Louis can’t figure out what it is.

“I’m okay,” Harry says, and Louis is going to say something to that, even if he doesn’t know what, except Harry’s kissing him.

Louis freezes.

14) To Be Loved (And To Be In Love) | Mature | 30227 words

The one where Louis’s popular, Harry’s not and they bond by trying to get their friends together while accidentally matchmaking the entire school.

15) Not Quite | Explicit | 34163 words

Niall gives Harry an exasperated look, nodding slowly. “Okay...so do you want to explain why we’re hiring Louis? And do you want to explain it without making any mention of his soft hair or ample buttocks?”

16) And Touch Me Like You Never | Explicit | 35971 words

The one where Harry and Louis agree to be each other's New Year's kiss and it ends up being a lot more than they bargained for.

17) The Sweetest Incantation | Explicit | 40600 words

Harry is a witch who's still working on developing his powers and Louis is a werecat who falls into his life and turns it upside down.

18) Your Touch Shouldn't Make Me Feel Like This | Explicit | 48883 words

Uni AU in which Alpha Harry has been in love with his omega friend for the longest time and one motorbike trip to the countryside with Louis made him realize that he could no longer hold back his feelings.

19) Some Things Take Root | Explicit | 50269 words

AU. Louis’ ex doesn’t get jealous of anyone besides Harry. Harry helps Louis use that to his advantage.

20) Social Cues | Explicit | 55860 words

To Harry, Louis was becoming as tangible and essential as music in his life. He still was a mystery but at the same time, he was one of the most real things Harry had. He just hoped he could live up to the image Louis probably had in his mind of him.

He could play the part, after all, what was published of him wasn’t as detached from reality. He didn’t think of himself as a rockstar cliche, although he couldn't deny he did sleep around, partied a lot, and did some drugs. But then again, wasn’t that what the majority of his friends back in his hometown were doing at college?

Harry wanted to impress Louis, he didn’t want to disappoint or leave his expectations unfulfilled, so he’d give him the full rockstar experience.

It was a very simple plan, what could possibly go wrong?

21) Amazing Sin | Explicit | 56034 words

The story of Louis ‘Steal Your Man’ Tomlinson.

22) You're Supposed To Be Smart. | Explicit | 83318 words

Louis is an oblivious idiot who get's high scores in exam and will probably graduate with flying colors and Harry Styles is a right idiot who swore to always protect Louis but can't ask him out on a date.

23) Your Name is Tattooed on My Heart | Explicit | 86809 words

Louis is ready to find the love of his life, but first he has to stop falling for the punk rocker next door.

24) Falling Into You | Mature | 143112 words

In the grand scheme of adolescence and boyhood, Harry was still working himself out, so far with little luck. But four things he could say for certain: 1) he'd been at the top of his class all through primary and secondary school, 2) he was the shittiest alpha to ever walk the earth, 3) Liam Payne never let him forget it, and 4) he’d been in love with this boy, Louis Tomlinson, ever since he was fifteen years old.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[choco-mark]

One Day Closer (1)

pairings: soulmate!jaemin x soulmate!oc

genre: fluff | smut | a little angst if you squint

warnings: language, masturbation (fem. + m.), mentions of sex, mentions of underage drinking

summary: in a world where soulmates can hear each other’s thoughts, you slowly fall in love with your soulmate, though it takes you an eternity to realize who it really is.

words: 6.6k

parts: one | two

note: y/n and jaemin’s thoughts are written in italics

a part of the You Are Me series!!

7 April

Jaemin loved spring, he loved seeing the bare trees grow their leaves back and the fallen flowers rise up once more to resume their erect state. He loved the smell of the air, if it even had a smell, the way it was sweet and comforting to anyone passing through it. The sky was wide as always; it seemed clearer than any other season of the year, a crashing blue color that stained the world perfectly.

Y/N, however, loved winter. Jaemin knew it, he knew it from the way you praised the cold when soft snow fell outside of your window in the morning and the way your thoughts would giggle when you saw the puffs of white air coming from your mouth as you spoke. You loved everything about the freezing weather, and you were almost upset to see it gone as spring finally approached.

You were in school right now, staring at your teacher who was supposedly teaching chemistry, but your mind was hazy and filled with the thoughts of your soulmate. It was normal to hear your soulmate’s thoughts, just as everyone else in the world did, but he was always thinking. Constantly, even about the most irrelevant things.

Okay, but if I add x to this side, it just fucks up the whole equation. Wait, I’m supposed to add x over here too, right? That’s what she just said, dumbass, obviously.

You giggled to yourself out loud. I see you’re having pretty important thoughts right now, aren’t you? You do realize we share the same mind, right? I’m trying to learn some chemistry here.

Oh, that’s really funny, baby. His chuckle vibrated throughout your head as you sighed. You’ve been thinking about what you’re gonna have for lunch the entire time, which is far from anything chem related.

Hey, food is important! And I’m really hungry. I didn’t even eat breakfast before I got here. You pouted a little as you tried to stop your growling stomach from interrupting the class. Kinda regretting it now.

What did I say about skipping meals? His voice sounded stern, almost as if he was angry. You had successfully been hiding the fact that you didn’t eat in the morning because he often wasn’t awake, but now you were caught. Don’t do it, it’s not good for you. If you do it one more time, I’ll have to come force feed you, baby.

Baby. The little nickname that your nameless soulmate had called you by for years, since it was impossible to reveal your own name to them. It was funny, you would think sometimes, that you could share a hundred thousand thoughts with him but not the only thing that mattered. If only you knew his name…

I don’t need to know your name to find you. He answered in a softer voice, matching your thoughts. We’re meant for each other, baby, we’re soulmates for god’s sake! We just need to find each other when the time is right, and considering I haven’t seen anyone as beautiful as you, it’s not the right time.

As beautiful as me? You haven’t even seen me, how would you even…know that? Your eyes fell on the open notebook before you, the pages empty and without words.

I don’t need to see you to know that you’re beautiful. You could basically hear the smirk in his voice, and you internally scoffed. It’s true, baby! If your mind is this beautiful, you have to be gorgeous. I might even faint when I see you for the first time.

Yeah, right.

18 April

“I’m serious,” Jeno crossed his arms in front of you, looking you up and down before shaking his head. “You are absolutely miserable, Y/N. All you do is stay inside this goddamn room all day, and you barely even hang out with the me and the guys anymore! You’re coming with me whether you like it or not.”

You looked away from his piercing gaze, trying your best to suppress your feelings deep inside. As much as you knew you couldn’t be crying over such a stupid reason, you couldn’t help it.

Jeno had already found his soulmate, and it had been years since he had. He was happy with her, just like you ever wanted him to be, but the envy lying there for you to be him was constantly persisting. You wanted, more than anything in the world, to find your soulmate. But the last few days had been a battle between you and yourself, asking yourself over and over again whether you would really find him.

You had closed off your mind to your soulmate, not sharing your thoughts to him for the past week. It hurt, not being able to speak with him the way you always did, and you had broken the number one rule with him: to never close off your mind, no matter how hard it gets.

“Hey,” Jeno’s voice softened as he kneeled down to your position on your bed. “Wha-Why are you crying? What happened?”

You swiped at the tears falling continuously from your eyes, refusing to look at him. “You know, Jeno, it’s easy for you to preach all your happiness bullshit all the time: you’ve found your soulmate. You’ve always had her with you, so you don’t know what if feels like.”

“I’m never going to find him,” you whispered out the last words, closing your eyes tightly. “I’ll probably die before I do, and there’s no point. And you know what, I stopped talking to him a few days ago because I can’t do it anymore! I can’t sit and talk to someone mentally when it feels like they don’t even exist!”

There was only silence ringing through your room as Jeno watched you break down slowly, your sobs quiet but still there. He sighed, wrapping his arms around you to hold you still. “He does exist, Y/N. I promise you, he does exist.”

“And he’s waiting for you,” he continued, smoothing your hair down as your tears drenched his shirt. “He wants to find you as much as you do, so open it again. Talk to him. He’s waiting for you to come back.”

You closed your eyes tightly, knowing that Jeno was right. He was always right. But I need him back. Please come back. Please come back. I need to talk to him again.

He was there, you could feel it. You could hear his breathing, if that was even possible, the sound of his inhaling and exhaling that always calmed you down. He didn’t say anything, or rather think anything.

You felt the pain surging through you as you clutched Jeno’s shirt as if it were the only thing keeping your grounded to the universe. “He—”

Baby, why are you crying? Did you get hurt? Did something happen? What happened? You heard the concern relaxed through the voice you had missed for days. Please, baby, don’t cry. It hurts me too.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, and Jeno knew the words weren’t for him as your tears continued falling. “I’m sorry I closed off.”

It’s okay. He said in a soft rumble, along with the same chuckle. You felt it hurting, the pain becoming harder and harder to suppress until you realized, it wasn’t just your pain you were holding. It was his too. Please don’t do it again. I’m always here. I’m always here for you.

You heard his voice crack, a visible sound as you felt him cry too. “N-No, please don’t cry. I’m sorry.” But your words were lost in your self scolding, knowing that your selfishness had caused him pain. “I’m sorry.”

I’ll find you. We’ll find each other. I promise. We will, I know we will. That’s why we’re soulmates. We have to find each other, okay? Don’t give up.

I-I won’t.

Good. I missed your voice.

“I missed you too.”

24 May

It was midnight, well, possibly past midnight. And you were currently stuck inside Jeno’s not very large closet, alongside him and his friends.

Jeno’s friends were yours as well, meaning you were also friends with Donghyuck. He was a fun guy, one that always cheered you up but also joked around like it was his life. You really thought that he was going to die one day because of his love for pranking.

Then there was Mark and Renjun, who you weren’t as close with, but who were still good friends. Especially Mark, being all flustered and innocent all time, it really caught up on him when he’d be dared to ask a girl out. His excuse was always, “She’s not my soulmate!”

And then there was Jaemin and Jisung. They were the quieter bunch out of everyone else, but still fun to be around. Sometimes you thought that they were a little too secluded to themselves, and you tried to break them out of their boxes, but it was hard to.

Jaemin, especially, was the only other person in the group that had not found their soulmate. You two were common in that, and Jeno often offered for you to talk to him about it, but you weren’t sure if it was appropriate. You could tell, he was searching just as hard as you were, so much that he could barely even build a friendship with you. Likewise, a relationship.

“Okay! Spinning!” Donghyuck announced, taking the empty glass bottle and giving it a twist, and then leaning back against the wall. “Whoever it lands on has to confess something they’ve never done before.”

“What?” Mark asked confusedly, looking from him to you to Jeno. “I thought you were supposed to kiss whoever it landed on.”

“If you wanted me to kiss you, you could’ve just asked—”

The bottle stopped, the tip landing in front of Renjun. Everyone looked towards him. “Well?”

“Um, I’ve never kissed a guy.”

Before anyone could protest about his horribly heterosexual answer (because everyone knew he was the straightest guy there, after Mark of course), he took the chance to spin it the bottle.

It landed on Donghyuck, who rolled his eyes playfully, pointing to his lips drunkenly. “C’mon, baby, gimme me a kiss.”

You laughed out loud, clutching your stomach as Renjun started dodging the boy unsuccessfully. He didn’t stop until he got his kiss, making Mark look away all flustered as if he was the one kissed.

She’s pretty. Your heart almost stopped at the words pulsating through your mind from your soulmate, your smile falling instantly.

Who’s pretty? You were almost scared to ask, wondering if he had even meant to share that thought with you. But you could hear his chuckle, almost as if he was trying to cover up a mistake.

Jaemin shuffled uncomfortably in his seat, looking away on the gaze he had on you. His heart dropped, realizing what he had just done. My mom. She’s beautiful. I wish you could meet her.

He shook his head, glancing back at you before thinking to himself. Why’d she hear that? Jaemin’s eyes moved towards you again, seeing your demeanor as different than before. Maybe? But there’s no way, she already found her soulmate, right?

Who already found her soulmate? Jaemin could’ve spit out water if there was any in his mouth, but instead, he focused on Jeno’s laughing figure.

Huh? Oh, my friend. Sorry, baby, I keep bothering you with my weird thoughts. You thought he sounded a little odd, but you shook it off. He wouldn’t lie to you, that wasn’t like him.

Okay.

19 June

Today’s my last day of school. You tell your soulmate as you walked down your street, looking side to side before crossing the road. I can’t believe senior year’s over already. I feel like I was a freshman yesterday.

Hmm, really? Today’s my last day too. Are you sure we aren’t just the same person, baby? We’re so similar. He chuckled shortly after that, warming your heart a little. One day closer to seeing you.

That seemed to be your soulmate’s catch phrase lately, a little way of encouraging the both of you to get through the day: the promise of seeing each other. You giggled out loud, getting closer to the school.

You’re really optimistic, you know?

Only for you, baby. I can feel it, we’re gonna find each other soon. I’m finally gonna see how beautiful you really are.

You blushed at the words, grinning stupidly as you made it through the front door. Yeah? What if you’re more beautiful? What do we do then?

That’s not possible. His voice sounded so certain, as if he had already seen you a hundred times over and couldn’t get enough. You’re the most beautiful person I know.

Jaemin, who was sitting at his desk staring at his phone blankly, was also smiling widely. He felt the wave of pleasure and happiness wash over you, bathing him as well. The butterflies in his stomach were now in yours as well.

You’re so flirty. Your giggle was like heaven to him, making his insides turn over and over again as he wished to hear it again. I like it.

I like your voice. A lot. Does is sound the same in real life? Your laugh, it sounds so nice. Wait, can you sing?

Inside my head? I don’t know if I can think lyrics, though. I can’t really sing in reality, so I’m gonna assume that it sounds just as bad in your head—and mine.

Jaemin let out a breathless chuckle, shaking his head to himself. You’re voice is my favorite, it’s like music to me. I could hear you talk for hours and I’d still listen.

Oh? Is that why you don’t tell me to shut up when I have a rant in the common mind room? You like my—voice, or like, thought voice?

I love it. And I can’t believe you just called this the ‘common mind room.’ The proper term is ‘soulmate reading room.’

And who said so?

Me, baby.

15 July

Jaemin shot up from his bed, feeling hot and sticky from the heat. He wasn’t sure why his sleep had been so rudely interrupted, but he sure had an idea when he felt a wave of deep pleasure course through him, making blood flow straight to where it really mattered.

He didn’t want to intrude on your thoughts, but he couldn’t help but stick his hands down his boxers and pull out his erect dick. It was throbbing, and the waves of pleasure being sent through him only made it worse.

Baby. You could barely think of any words to fill your head as you heard his voice deep in your mind, almost as if scolding you. You’re going to make me cum so fast, baby, slow down. God, it feels so good.

I’m sorry. Your voice sounded like it was pleading to him, asking for forgiveness immediately. But you couldn’t help but bring your fingers back down to your core, swiveling at the wetness that had developed. I think I had a dream about—something.

Jaemin wished he could imagine you, writhing underneath his grip as his tongue licked patiently down your gorgeous slit. Even the thought was so—sinful, and you heard each and every word of it, making it only more pleasurable to you.

Do you like it? Do you like it when you touch yourself, baby? How good does it feel, can you tell me? His words were filthy, and even though it was all in your head, it only heightened the arousal. Tell me how good you fuck yourself.

Your mind swerved at the thought, your fingers slowly entering your hole as you let out a small moan, trying not to make too much of a scene. Even though you were sure sounds like that couldn’t have been transmitted to your soulmate, it somehow did.

Fuck, you sound so pretty. He hummed, and it was more a sweet sound to your ear rather than your mind, making you buck your hips up and clench around your fingers. I wish I could see you right now. Fucking yourself so well.

You could fuck me better. You couldn’t help but have the thoughts pop up in your mind, swallowing a whine that he hears as well. As you felt the buildup of your orgasm, it increased quickly in less than a second, almost causing you to scream. Fuck, fuck, you’re gonna make me cum. Please.

I want you to cum, baby. Cum all over those pretty little fingers of yours. Think it’s me, it’s my hand, my fingers fucking you so good. C’mon baby, do it. I want to feel you.

Before he could say anymore, you had already come undone, your juices spilling down your thighs as you trembled. Thighs shaking, you muffled another whine with the sinking of your teeth into your sheets.

Just as you thought it was over, a second one can crashing down just as fast. You screamed into your pillow, color bursting into your eyes and your voice pleading over and over again for him, him, him. It was so good, so good that it felt wrong when your uncontrollable shaking slowly ceased.

Oh my god. I think I just ascended into the afterlife. That felt way too good. I can’t believe I felt it too, oh fuck.

Yeah, baby. It’s that good. I could cum over and over again just for you. Just to hear your voice in my mind whimpering like that, hmm, I’d do it everyday. Fuck, you’re making me so horny, baby, you’re so hot.

You couldn’t help but tiredly giggle at his statement, feeling a little proud of yourself for not only making yourself feel good, but your soulmate as well. I didn’t know that was something we could do.

You didn’t?

Wait, you did?!

I didn’t do it for so long because you never touched yourself like this before, baby. You’ve never orgasmed before. This was your first time.

You turned around in your bed, your legs feeling disgustingly sticky now. But you were far to lazy to clean up, and resorted to cuddling yourself in your blankets.

Wouldn’t it be your first time too?

There was a pause, and you wondered for a moment if he had fallen asleep. But he came back, his chuckle vibrating again.

Of course. I didn’t want to scare you before, so I didn’t try anything with myself. Hmm, but god I’m so glad you did. That was—hmm, so good.

We should do it again.

Oh fuck yes, baby, we’ll do it again. And I’ll, hmm, make you feel so good when I find you. So fucking good, I promise. Better than you felt just now.

But you didn’t hear those last thoughts, your mind drifting off into another land without your soulmate. Jaemin felt it, smiling to himself softly as he closed his own eyes, letting his sleep take him away.

I love you.

16 July

It was nine in the evening when your best friend decided to scare the living shit out of you by climbing through your bedroom window (it was a regular occurrence, but it didn’t make it any more normal) to drag you out of your house.

He was taking you camping, at least that’s what he mumbled as he ‘packed’ a bag for you, which you were looking through later in his car, realizing he had nicely packed useless shirts but not one pair of shorts.

“I’m gonna have to wear these shorts for next few days, you know!” You slapped his arm, but all he did was roll his eyes, continuing to drive to the camp ground. “And why didn’t you care to inform me of this earlier?”

“Well, you would’ve said no and I would’ve just climbed through your window anyway, so I thought I could save the whole ‘no’ part and just surprise you. So...surprise!”

It sure was a surprise indeed when you realized how many people were at the actual campsite. All of the guys were there, along with their respective soulmates. It made your heart drop a little as you saw Jeno walk off to his love, and even looking around, you couldn’t help but dull at the thought.

Jisung and his girlfriend were sitting at the edge by the river, talking softly amongst each other as they giggled. Even seeing the youngest boy so happy made you feel—pity for yourself, and you had to shake your head a few times to get rid of the envy.

“Y/N!” You turned around to Jeno’s girlfriend’s voice. She had a marshmallow and a stick in her hand, gesturing for you to come over to the bonfire that Mark somehow actually made without hurting himself.

As you reached her, you took a seat beside her, gasping a bit when she wrapped an arm around your shoulders, nuzzling her head against yours. “I missed you.”

“Me too.”

She was a good friend of yours, definitely not as close as you were with Jeno as she didn’t go to the same school as the two of you. But she as the sisterly figure that you always needed in your life, cheering you up and loving you to death.

Everyone eventually gathered around the fire, roasting their marshmallows and singing loudly to the trashy music blasting from Donghyuck’s speaker. Your eyes scanned through the circle, and your eyes fell on the only other single person in the crowd: Jaemin.

He was standing next to Renjun and his girlfriend, smiling alongside everyone else as they continued to have fun. As you let your eyes linger for a moment longer, he looked up, locking your gaze with his.

You offered him a small smile, feeling like it would be rude to just ignore him and he returned it, calming your nerves a little bit. God, why am I so nervous around him?

I don’t know, baby, try not to be.

You paused in the middle of your s’more, blinking a few times at the response from your soulmate. Wait, you heard that?

Um, not sure if you realized but we share a mind.

Looking away briefly, you watched as Chenle dramatically revealed the food that he had bought before arriving here. But I didn’t want you to hear that.

Ouch, that kinda hurt, baby.

You chuckled internally, smiling at his fake hurt voice, focusing back on eating your s’more. Just as you finished, you felt to hands on your back, pushing you towards the side.

Stumbling, you looked up to Jeno’s girlfriend, who had her arms crossed with a funny sort of stern look on her face. You looked over at Jisung, who gave you a apologetic look for his (reluctant) hard push.

“So I heard that you have memory issues? Memory issues that affect how much your eating, that’s what Jeno here tells me. Now, is it because you actually have a memory loss problem or do you just not eat?”

You glanced at Jeno, who was just looking at you with wide eyes. “Hey, I eat! I just—forget sometimes. I’m alone this whole summer, I suck at cooking, and I’m broke so...I just usually forget to eat.”

“Well, that excuse is not gonna work today!”

A plate of friend chicken was pushed into your hand by Chenle’s girlfriend, who gave you a sweet smile as you made your way back to your seat.

It was past midnight now, the darkness seemed to overtake everything else around the camp ground, making the river look colder. The chirping of the crickets was still there, their volume increasing as each hour passed.

Jaemin had watched the scene from farther away, and it confused him as he watched you eat. How does she forget something like that? Wouldn’t it...hurt?

I don’t know, baby, wouldn’t it?

Your voice was a mock of his sentence from earlier, and there was a brief silence. See, you didn’t want me to hear that, right?

I don’t know; that’s weird.

It was weird, usually when you didn’t want your soulmate to hear your personal thoughts, you could close it off to them. But lately, it seemed to do exactly the opposite. Maybe, it was a glitch in the system?

Or maybe we’re getting closer to finding each other. He sighed, the hopefulness that was usually in his voice gone without a trace. I don’t know anymore, baby.

Me neither.

“Okay, I love you all to death, but I need my sleep.” Jeno’s girlfriend announced, the music finally ceasing and allowing the quietness engulf the area. “There are seven tents, so claim yours. Me and Jeno have the blue one.”

Each of the couples went one after the other, claiming their tents quickly until you were left with, naturally—

“I guess we’re sharing, then?” Jaemin came up from behind you, handing over your bag that he probably picked up from the ground earlier. “If you want to? I can ask one of the guys—”

“No, no it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

He nodded, making his way to the tent that was left over for the other couple’s hoarding: the one closest to the river. It was a little eerie, especially when he opened up the tent to the light inside.

In a simple sense, it was small. The sleeping bags were much to close to each other for a couple of friends, but there wasn’t anything else to do as you glanced over at the boy.

“I’ll take the one over there,” you gestured to the one farthest from the entrance, but then added, “unless you want to?”

“Go for it, I don’t mind.” His voice rang from your answer earlier as you made your way inside, settling down on the sleeping bag you recognized as Jeno’s. This is gonna be awkward.

What’s gonna be awkward?

You pulled out a water bottle from your bag, taking a few sips. I’m just in a little bit of an awkward situation right now, that’s all.

Well, do you wanna have sex?

The water you had just put into your mouth came spitting out, wetting your clothes as the bottle titled. The shock of your soulmate’s random thought had hit you hard, and now your shorts were drenched with dirty water.

Jaemin looked over at you, seeing you suddenly look like you went swimming in the river with your clothes on. “Are you okay?”

“Um,” you stood up, examining yourself. “Y-Yeah, it just—went down the wrong pipe, I guess.” I’m soaked, fuck. At least the sheets aren’t wet though.

“Wait,” the boy ruffled through his bag, pulling out a small towel and handing it to you. “I can leave if you want to change?”

“Thanks,” you dabbed at your skin, trying to get the water off yourself as best as you could. “If you don’t mind...”

Nodding, he unzipped the tent, stepping outside to leave you in your own thoughts. What the fuck?!

What? Do you not want to?

I just said I’m in an awkward situation and you want to have sex?! What kind of logic is that? You pulled off your clothes, throwing over one of the over-sized shirts that Jeno had very nicely remembered to stuff in your bag.

It could ease the height of the situation!

You scoffed, wiping away the rest of the water on your body as you heard your soulmate’s familiar chuckle. There are other people here, I’m not doing anything.

As you made your way to the entrance of the tent, you felt an odd wave pass through your body, making your core pulsate involuntarily. I could make you cum in front of all those people, hmm? You would like that, wouldn’t you? Fucking yourself for me so good?

No.

I know you do, baby. You know how?

You walked to the end of the tent, pulling down the zipper to see Jaemin’s back to you. “Jaemin,” he perked up at the sound of your voice, finally seeing you. “You can come inside.”

Because I can feel you trembling.

The way Jaemin looked in your eyes right now was breathtaking, his hair askew as he stepped back into the small lighting of the tent. You lingered on him for a moment too long, feeling the heat growing in your core immediately.

I can tell you like it.

You laid down against the pillow, your heart pounding from the arousal coursing through you. Please don’t, there are other people here. You’re gonna embarrass the fuck out of me.

Turning your back to Jaemin, you felt your entire body shiver, but not from the cold this time. He was touching himself, and you could tell from the way that his internal breathing was hitched, making you grab on tightly to the end of your bag.

“Hey, I’m gonna turn the lights out,” you heard Jaemin’s voice in the background, and you could’ve sworn that they echoed through your head as well. “Y/N?”

“Y-Yeah, okay.”

In a moment it was pitch black, allowing yourself to curl up into yourself as you felt the buildup in your stomach growing. Please, please, please.

Please, what?

Now being in the dark, your senses seemed to heighten, the pleasurable and painful throbbing to your clit being too much to ignore. You let your fingers wander to your clit, finally pressing against it, rubbing slowly. Successfully staying quiet, you dipped your fingers past your folds, feeling the wetness collect on your fingertips. You’re gonna make me cum.

I know, baby, that’s kind of the point.

Just as you started massaging against your clit a little faster, you heard a shift from Jaemin beside you, making you stop your motions for a moment. Your heart was in your throat now, the risk of being caught being so, so high. Faster, please.

You couldn’t believe that you were begging for more, but your soulmate certainly loved it. I wish I could hear you right now, baby. Hmm, you’d sound so good.

Finally, you let your fingers slip into your hole, letting out a soft sigh. It wasn’t too loud, you hoped, but the sound was amplified in Jaemin’s mind, almost making him cum at it.

Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum to your sounds, baby. Don’t stop, keep fucking yourself for me.

The dominant tone in his voice as you quickened your pace took over your body, your panting increasing as you stifles them with your pillow. You just hoped that you wouldn’t make too much of a mess, this was Jeno’s sleeping bag after all.

Jaemin, on the other hand, didn’t really give a shit. Just hearing his soulmate whine because of him turned him on so fast, making it increase his pumping. He had assumed that you had fallen asleep, at least from the soft sounds that you were releasing, so he had all the time to himself.

But he wasn’t too loud, at least he tried not to be for the sake of you. You couldn’t hear anything, however, your mind only focusing on finding your release quickly. Please, please, I need to cum.

He didn’t respond to your plead, only continuing to build the both of you up in a tighten knot. Jaemin bit down on his lip, hoping that he wasn’t breathing too loudly to wake you up, but he didn’t seem to really care when his seed spurted from his cock.

At the same time his hand was being covered in his own milky liquid, your fingers slipped out of you with ease as you shuddered, his orgasm having a huge effect on you. With a quick movement, you buried your head against the pillow, calming your breaths as quickly as possible. Hmm, fuck.

It took you a while before you finally calmed down, the throbbing between your legs stopping as you heard your soulmate’s chuckle in your head. You liked it?

Humming, you nodded as if he could see you. Yes, I liked it. Thank you. You felt your lids growing heavy with your thoughts, and your eyes finally shut with the memory of his voice in your head.

Sweet dreams, my love.

17 July

You woke up with a small jolt from inside your body, the electricity coursing through your veins strong enough to make you open your eyes to the bright light flooding the tent. The first thing you noticed, however, were the fact that you were unable to move.

Looking at the position now, you had no clue how you had even gotten here: your body snuggled close to Jaemin’s, legs tangled and his head resting against your chest. Even as you shifted slightly, he stirred gently, his arms tightening around your waist. How did I even get here? It’s so...tight.

Good morning to you too, baby. You’re awake so early.

Oh, you’re awake. You looked down at the pink hair below you, making you want to lace your fingers through it. I’m in a bit of a sticky situation again.

Jaemin scrunched up his face, still facing away from you as his legs enclosed yours tighter. He should’ve pulled away, perhaps a while ago, but something deep inside of him was telling him not to let go. What’s wrong?

Huh? Nothing, it’s just another...awkward situation I got myself into. You struggled against his grip, trying at least to get your arms out, but they were trapped.

What happened? Jaemin could hear the sound of your racing heart, increasing with every move that either of you made. Baby?

Nothing, nothing’s wrong. I’m fine, I’m just in another awkward situation with someone and I don’t even think it’s their fault.

Jaemin’s eyes trailed down your clothed skin, landing on the exposed portion of your legs that were secured tightly under his. It was an intimate position, and he knew that he couldn’t keep you in it for too long...not unless.

He looked up slowly, his eyes meeting yours hesitantly before he stared deeply into yours. You didn’t say anything, your mind going blank as the boy in front of you stared back at you with an expression of awe on his face. He’s too close.

You’re right, I’m too close. Jaemin was hesitant with his thought, but you could hear his breathing going through your mind as he inched closer. His thought echoed in your mind, but it sounded more as if Jaemin had told you those words.

His face inched closer to yours: eyes fluttering from your eyes to lips with the parting of his mouth. Jaemin hesitated, his hands finding purchase to your back as he pressed them down, feeling the spark that ignited both of you.

You couldn’t help but feel that something was right for the first time in your life as his lips brushed past yours, almost setting them on fire from the pure ecstasy of the touch. Finally, with a single sigh leaving him, his lips pressed against yours, feeling you wholeheartedly.

And the moment it happened, you knew it. You knew that the feeling you had wasn’t just yours, not when his hand snaked up to your chin, titling it to allow him in deeper. Your tongue clashed with his, both of the wet muscles massaging each other with a slow pace as if you had waited your entire life for this moment.

You felt it, I know you felt it. Jaemin pulled at your waist, settling you under him as he planted his knees beside your hips. His hands found yours, intertwining your fingers with his. Tell me you felt it, baby.

If you aren’t kissing me right now, your thought came out cracked, your lips devouring Jaemin’s without a second thought, then I might cry.

Your soulmate chuckled, the sound vibrating in both of you and for the first time, it felt real. Everything, for once, felt like it was real. The burning touch of skin against each other, the clash of saliva; it all felt real. Well, baby, I don’t think you have to cry.

He pulled away for a brief second, eyes darting around your entire face before tears welled up in his eyes, a shaky smile breaking out. Your fingers laced through his hair, bringing him closer to kiss him again, deeper than before. We did it, baby, we did it.

You felt him crying, the pain mixing with the happiness perfectly as hot tears poured from your own eyes as well. We finally did it, we found each other.

Jaemin.

He could’ve died, he thought as he pulled you over his lap, cupping your face in his hands as if you were the most important thing in the world to him. The only thought he could never share with you was the only one he wanted to hear from your voice inside of his head; the one that reached out to him from depths beyond the love you both had for each other. And he finally heard it.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he muttered softly, burying his face into your neck, leaving a trail of feathered kisses. His hands caressed your hair softly as he looked up at you with those big eyes, the ones so full of love and joy. “I love you so much.”

You didn’t trust yourself with words, but a grin broke out from you as you watched him breakdown before you. It was the most beautiful sight; the moment of a boy confessing his love to his one and only soulmate, and you could’ve wished to live in that moment forever. 

“You’re my soulmate,” your voice was more a whisper, but he heard it, he had always heard it. Fingers pressed into the skin of his neck as he leaned against your chest again, feeling the beat of your heart. “Jaemin...”

“Yeah, that’s me,” his laugh was broken, arms holding your body so tightly as if you were going to slip away from his grasp in less than a second. “I’ve found you, baby.”

“Can you say my name again, baby? In our mind, please? I want to hear your voice again.”

I could say it a million times. Your voice echoed through his mind, and his lips found your skin again, kissing and kissing and kissing. Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin. I love you, Jaemin.

I can’t believe you were right here this whole time. It took me so long to realize that it was you all along, it was you this whole time.

“I know,” you held his head against you, the comfort radiating from him never going away. “But I’m so glad, I’m so glad it’s you.”

Me too, baby. I couldn’t have wished for anyone better.

It felt like two people in love after years of being alone. And it felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other.

previous | next

[justcourttee]

Love, Right?

This was an ask from AO3, but I loved it so much and wanted to post it here too.

vasiliassuns asked: aaaaa!! i love all these one shots so much:)! would it be any trouble to ask for the waynes (minus alfred, he knows all) being in paris to research ladybug and accidentally see marinette transform before watching her whoop ass? (i know theres a lot of fics with this in the damianette tag, but aa!! such a good trope,,,and your writing is awesome.) its totally cool if not! i also wanna add that im super excited for the next chapter:) seriously tho your writing is awesome and i adore it

If you had told Damian Al Ghul Wayne that he would discover the love of his life in a shotty alleyway in Paris, France, he would’ve laughed in your face.

Yet there he was, his heart racing a million times a minute as he watched her swing into action sending the akumatized person sailing with a solid kick to their chest.

‘Flawless Execution, I couldn’t have done it better myself.’

Damian ignored the crowds pushing against him trying to take cover in the nearest shelter. He knew that by now his family would’ve seen his transmission from the camera contacts that Barbara had provided them before leaving Gotham. They would also be racing toward the battle hoping to catch a glimpse of how these victims communicated with the notorious Hawkmoth.

He turned the corner colliding into three other rushing bodies.

They all fell to the ground with a groan, each holding their own heads with equal scowls directed at the others. Damian was the first to find his feet as he crossed her arms, glaring down on his mess of brothers. Three voices filled the alleyway simultaneously, all as panicked at the other.

“Damian was that the coffee goddess-”

“Damian was that the flying angel from the acrobat gym-”

“Damian was that your girlfriend-”

Everyone silenced as their gazes shifted to where Jason stood. He only shrugged his shoulders in response, that familiar smirk pulling at his lips.

“She’s not my girlfriend Todd.” Damian tried to say it with the straightest face he could manage but he could do nothing to hide the red that had crept up his cheeks.

“Well, whatever she is doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the flying angel is Ladybug! That information would’ve been helpful earlier. We were already hanging out in civilian form, I mean, we could’ve been having our top-secret meetings without the masks!”

“Dick, some of us care about our secret identities unlike you.”

Dick pouted as Tim elbowed his side.

“All I’m saying is that if she can trust me to catch her 40 feet above the ground, then she should be able to trust me with her secret identity.”

“It’s not like she knows our identity’s Richard.” Damian narrowed his eyes at the older boy essentially silencing his continuous whining. “Besides, she probably didn’t want to harm us. If we showed care for her superheroine side, then Hawkmoth could try to attack us to get to her.”

Jason flailed his hand around mocking Damian’s speech behind his head earning a giggle from the others. Damian’s whole face flushed red as he tried to count backward from 10 to avoid killing Jason.

A blur of red landed in front of him, her slightly flushed face staring above them, as determined as ever.

“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”

Her eyes darted down to meet his, a slightly surprised look crossing her face.

“Gentlemen, please return to the shelter. It’s not safe right now.”

The boys stared at each other, calculating their best chances of regrouping if they split now. She swung off before she heard their answer shielding them from the oncoming blow. Damian wanted to rush to her side and help her back to her feet but it wasn’t the right moment.

As they made their way back toward the shelter, Damian’s mind was racing a million times a minute.

The quiet girl with a load of sass who helped him study French couldn’t be the bold superheroine who fought crime on a daily basis right? It seemed illogical.

Yet the more he thought about it, the more he could see it. The way she stood up in class to Chloe and Lila whenever they attacked him, the way she could maneuver around every situation within mere seconds of seeing how it would play out, the way those same blue eyes would shine with determination when she knew she was the smartest one in the room and was only being challenged to prove it.

“I’m so stupid.”

“Wait, can you say that again? I wanna make it my ringtone.”

Damian stuck his foot out as he skidded to a stop taking joy in seeing Todd tumble to the ground, a satisfying rip coming from his new leather jacket.

“Ah, c’mon man, it was just a joke!”

A small scream of terror caught their attention. A girl stood in the middle of the cobblestone, clinging to a stuffed bear, the Akuma looming over her as if ready to strike. Damian knew he couldn’t make it quick enough, but damn if he wasn’t going to try.

The Akuma's hand came down before he had even moved an inch, a sickening smack turning Damian’s stomach. As the dust cleared, Damian raced forward, intent on beheading any man who dared to lay hands on a child so small, but the Akuma was nowhere in sight.

The only thing that was left was a breathless Ladybug, dropped to her knees in front of the small girl, a white butterfly fluttering into the sky.

“Mar-Ladybug!”

Her head perked up at the sound of Damian’s voice as he fell beside her, checking her over for any injuries.

“I’m fine Damian, please, check on the girl.”

As if Damian needed any more confirmation that Ladybug was Marinette. Here she was not even denying that she knew him in that cute stammering manner she did. With a small nod, he turned to check over the girl, making sure the Akuma hadn’t bruised her.

Beside him, Ladybug stumbled to her feet throwing her Miraculous Cure into the air. Instantly, Damian noticed all the damage disappearing under the blinding lights as if the battle had never happened in the first place. He wanted to ask her how the magic behind it worked, but the sound of a shout cut him off.

“Oi! Get back here you little brat! I’m not done teaching you a lesson for eating my food!”

Instantly the girl in his arms became smaller. Ladybug noticed it as well as her eyes hardened, almost daring the man to take a step forward.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to stop right there. You were just a victim of Hawkmoth’s powers and need to be checked over by Chat Noir.”

The blonde hero nodded warily as if ready to attack from behind if things went south.

“I ain’t doing any of that. This child right here is mine and needs to be taught a lesson one way or another.”

Ladybug glanced behind her at the small girl’s silent tears as she clung to Damian’s arms as if they were her lifeline.

“You will be doing no such thing. In fact, by the end of today, she will no longer be your child. I suggest you leave now sir, I wouldn’t want things to get ugly.”

The man had the audacity to laugh. It fueled the rage inside Damian, but he refused to let go of the girl. He feared that if he did, she would run.

“What are you gonna do? You superheroes can’t touch me if I’m not akumatized.”

In a flash, he lunged forward. Ladybug wasn’t even fazed as she sidestepped him, pushing his head down into the cobblestone below. It was only one blow, but he was out cold, a small split on his forehead.

Damian couldn’t help the way his jaw hung.

“Medic, he’s going to need stitches. Sir,” Damian shook the shock from his face as he met her eyes. “This child seems to have taken a liking to you, would you mind taking her to the police station for me? Tell them I will be there soon to make my report and check on her.”

Damian nodded, unable to find his voice as those intimidating eyes stared down into his.

“And one more thing, I’ll be checking in with you later as well. It seems we have much to talk about little bird.”

Damian’s entire face flushed red as she swung off with her partner, his eyes never leaving her figure until she was out of sight. The sound of pounding feet on the pavement brought him back to reality as his brother’s skidded in front of him, their faces as impressed as his.

“Hey Damian, this is your fair warning. If you don’t date her, I might.”

“Ditto.”

“Me three.”

Damian stumbled over his denial as he watched his brother’s burst into laughter. Dick gathered the young girl from his arms, cooing at her until she was calm once more, allowing him to finally stand.

“You all are not worthy of her, only I am.”

Jason crossed his arms mocking Damian’s half pout as he and Tim shared another laugh at the murderous look in his eyes. He could care less what these imbeciles thought, the only thing that mattered was what she did.

And he couldn’t wait to find out.

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[dented-nado]

Well since you specifically asked: Twiddler

“Yah I like Eddie but he’s straight // BAD LUCK, HUH?”

“No he’s not”

“NO IM NOT??”

Shenanigans

I’m dying right now, the ol’ Harv(ey) stubbornly thinks that Edward fucking Nygma is s  t r a  I g ht love it.  Still one of my fave convos we’ve ever had.

==================

Eddie’s POV

 =====================

It had been about a year since he had joined the sort of halfway home that Bruce Wayne had opened up for Ex-Rogues. However Eddie was somewhat convinced the billionaire he now realized had been Batman the whole time (pfft, he totally could have figured that out… he just… hadn’t…) rather liked having he, Harley, and Harv(ey) as a sort of odd band of roommates. And well… a literal mansion wasn’t a bad place to stay in by any stretch of the imagination.

He certainly had expected (and been quietly and not so quietly jealous) that because Harv(ey) and Bruce had apparently been close as far back as when they were children, Wayne would certainly be ecstatic to have Two-Face hanging around. He still was a little bit taken a back that well… anyone would want him around.

But he really was trying to reform. Maybe part of it was because the routine had gotten boring and he’d started finding more quiet and less destructive games and puzzles more entertaining these days. Besides, he realized he could have more fun with such things when he wasn’t being hauled back to Arkham because he’d taken things a little too far so often.

That being said, he had a new focus, a new goal.

And that was the previously mentioned Harv(ey) Dent. The giant, the absolute unit that towered over him.

Two souls for the price of one. Harvey was quietly intelligent (though sometimes a little bit delightfully oblivious), kind, and soft. Then Harv, he was bold, had a wonderfully fun fashion sense, and had a gravelly voice that admittedly caused Eddie’s mind to pull a blank at times.

They were a man that could have half their face burned to a crisp with acid and still be the only man that had been in Arkham (in Edward’s opinion) that could really get it.

He still remembered the first time “two-face” had been escorted into Arkham, the sight of them had knocked the wind right out of him, completely stopped his plotting for his next attempt to outsmart Batman.

Sure, perhaps he had heard and sort of seen images of Harvey Dent, the famous distract attorney that had been nicknamed Gotham’s “white knight” on the tiny, crappy TV they were occasionally allowed to watch when they were let out of their cells. But that never did him justice.

Seeing him here? Up close?

What a man. A handsome man, carved by angels and blessed by the devil

Now if only he could get Harv(ey) Dent to notice him.

Since that day he’d tried time and time again under the hope that maybe just maybe… this giant of a man would consider a relationship of sorts.

He tried to impress them with his vast intellect, sitting close to him and going off about any fact or subject he happened to know. He then tried to drill Harvey about his knowledge as a lawyer (which he thought also might just be interesting to know). They were certainly a good listener… and Harvey warmed up to talking about legal jargon and the pains of law school with Eddie eventually.

He was able to talk to Harv about their mutual love of fun patterns and bright colors and agreed that anyone who dissed it just didn’t understand fashion. He also realized soon that Harv loved to talk when he was acknowledged, and Eddie was more than happy to encourage him to and lightly swoon at that voice.

However, they were still only on a ‘good pals’ basis.

Which maybe Eddie could have accepted, except he caught Harvey staring at him at times, smiling slightly whenever Eddie would talk about what interested him. And Harv, he had gotten Harv to laugh a few times.

There was something there, he knew it, but for some reason he couldn’t puzzle out, Dent wasn’t acting on it.

It continued to this day. Harley had suggested to Edward he simply outright tell Harv(ey) Dent he was interested in them. But that wasn’t fun or interesting, and certainly not as romantic as Eddie would like.

So, after years of frustration now, he decided he’d go to the one person who had known Harv(ey) Dent their whole life for advice.

 ============

Bruce’s POV

============

“So, that’s my dilemma.”  Edward finished, pushing up his glasses in a very matter-of-fact way.

Bruce sighed. The only person who had ever rivaled his own stubbornness and… stupidity when it came to others having an romantic interest in them, was in fact Harv(ey) Dent. This would no doubt be difficult.

He wasn’t even sure how he managed to get into a relationship with Clark and Diana, so he wasn’t sure how much of a help he’d be trying to get Harv(ey) and Eddie to pair up.

“I’m decently sure he’s interested in you.” He replied.

“I’m quite sure too, however nothing I do seems to get them to do anything.” Eddie expressed, looking completely exasperated.

“hrrn....” Bruce grumbled thoughtfully. “What have you tried so far?”

“Well… I’ve given them gifts, flowers seemed like a sure-fire method- yet he seemed to somehow take them as a platonic gift.”

Bruce stared at Eddie for a long moment. “Who gives flowers platonically?”

Eddie shrugged.

Bruce sighed. “Dammit Harvey… Harv…” He mumbled under his breath. “I could try talking to them, get some better idea of what’s going on their head, could be Harvey and Harv keep arguing on how they want to respond.” He suggested.

Eddie nodded thoughtfully. “That may be the case, that is a possibility I had not considered… thank you for your assistance batma….. ah… Bruce…” He corrected with a slight grin.

Bruce half smiled back.

Batman was on the case.

====

“So… Harv…. Harvey…” Bruce began wandering over to where they were sitting.

They were seemingly switching between drinking a hot coffee and a Frappuccino.

Harvey had complained more than once that because of their disagreements Harv ended up making them consume way too much sugar. Too much caffeine in this case it seemed.

Their eyes flicked over to him.

“Hi Bruce.”

“What’s up Pretty Boy?”

Bruce sat down across from them. “Eddie seems to be interested in you.”

Never hurt to be blunt with a lawyer.

Harvey snorted. “That’d be nice… he is really cute but…”

“I’m sure Eddie is straight, just our luck, right?”

Bruce had never been so shocked in all his life.

Straight?

Eddie…

Straight?! E d  d I  e.

Str a I ght, Edward Nygma E Nygam s t ra ight

The two concepts being put together caused a complete error in Bruce’s mind that was slowly beginning to fry.

Who could possibly conclude that Edward was s t r aight?

The riddler…. The riddler who for a while greeted Batman like he was lowkey interested in a literal love-hate relationship

Edward

Str a I ght.

“Are you… fucking kidding me?” Bruce ended up stammering before he even realized it. “He’s not… at all!”

Harvey blinked at him a few times in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

Bruce gaped at them. They couldn’t be serious.

“Harvey… I… Harv… he… he’s not exactly subtle about it. In fact he’s very open, very much out and proud, flaming even. I’m sure he’d agree.”

Harvey looked at Bruce through squinted eyes. “Are you sure Bruce?”

“Sure, maybe he’s a bit more flashy than your average guy, but that doesn’t mean gay.” Harv added with a shrug.

“He calls you handsome at least 3 times a day.” Bruce said still staring at Harv(ey) like they were absolutely insane.

“Lots of people do.”

“Have you ever seen him even flirt with any women??” Bruce asked in disbelief.

“No but… well there’s always been more men in Arkham, and when do you even have time for that?”

Bruce was somewhere in-between wanting to laugh at them and slap them.

“He’s given you flowers.”

“Pretty sure he’s just being friendly.”

“Friendly…” Bruce wheezed.

This conversation was taking years off his life at this point. He shook his head and texted Edward.

“Get in here (the living room downstairs) It’s important”

Edward slid in and sat peppily down on the couch with Bruce within a few minutes, causing Harv(ey) to look between Eddie and Bruce in confusion.

“You rang Mr. Wayne~?” Eddie asked with a cheeky grin as he leaned his head against his hand.

“You know what these men just said to me?” Bruce began folding his hands together.

“Bruce nooo…” Harvey pleaded.

“No no, I think he should know.” Bruce insisted.

Eddie raised his eyebrows comically high. “Well don’t keep me waiting, what’s the tea?”

Bruce cleared his throat. “They said… they’re sure you’re straight.”

Eddie stared at Bruce for a minute, eyes widening.

“Me?” He asked completely baffled.

Bruce nodded.

Eddie threw back his head and laughed until his face turned red and he had trouble breathing.

Harv(ey) looked on stiffly, feeling as if they had made a mistake somewhere as the dawning realization slapped them in the face.

 ============

Harv(ey)’s POV

===================

It was bad enough they had put themselves in denial so far they had missed out starting something with the small bean-pole riddle-man much earlier…

But now because they had convinced themselves Eddie was straight and therefore could have no interest in them… Eddie and Bruce were refusing to let them live it down.

And Bruce seemed to have gotten literally everyone in on the joke. Anyone Bruce hadn’t told between his partners and his massive family, Eddie had told.

Harley had begun kissing Ivy in front of them while they both traded off saying “no homo tho” between kisses until Harv(ey) groaned and left the room in a huff, leaving them both laughing maniacally.

Eddie had begun dramatically entering a room with a flourish announcing “Ladies and Gentlemen, Guys, Gals, and Non-binary pals, the straightest man alive has arrived, you may all start the party.”

Even when they first slept together, Edward had started quietly laughing and mumbling about “how straight, and very much not gay at all this occurrence was.”

Bruce hadn’t been able to look at them in weeks without breaking out into a full on belly laugh at his expense, mumbling something along the lines of “The Riddler, st r a I ght, good lord...”

On one hand they were happy Bruce was laughing more but god dammit…

They felt a bit dumb about it to say the least.

“How did we ever think Eddie was straight?” Harvey thought to himself.

“I don’t fucking know. I really… really… don’t.”                                                                                          

Well… maybe giving everyone a little levity while still being able to date a cute red-head that seemed to know the strangest facts about almost everything that they could enjoy listening to him babble about for hours happily…. Was all worth it. Even if they were embarrassed by their comically stupid brand of denile.

[begrudginglytumbling]

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

Part Five!

Now with gifs!...since I’ve learnt the most basic of basic gifmaking and it was actually quicker than trying to pause at just the right moment, which has been enough of an issue previously to make me swear through gritted teeth.

Time for Love O2O - that’s both the film and the series since the little overachiever just had to get cast in both.

Ready?

Bai Yu plays a character called Cao Guang in both the film and drama. In the film he seems to be a smushed together version of what in the drama are two separate people.

Now then do you see this slightly bewildered expression while looking at a computer screen? Because this was basically me watching Love O2O, both film and drama.

Why the bewilderment?

Well, I’ve come to expect a certain level of odd sitting and leaning from Bai Yu. I almost expect all his characters to be some form of Bi Disaster now. But Cao Guang? So far I’ve never seen Bai Yu sit so straight. It’s slightly unnerving, in a similar way to if someone went into your house and moved things just slightly to the left. There’s not enough of a difference to cause major problems, but there’s enough for your mind to feel uncomfortable and twitchy because something is just off.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, he still does his Bai Yu thing, but it’s almost muted, I suppose is the best word to use for it.

We’ll start with the film version, which also has the alternate title of One Smile is Very Alluring apparently.

Before this moment, he’s actually sitting properly at the desk. Both feet were on the floor and everything which was just weird. But then he stood and transitioned into a lean, that made it a little less weird.

This is, technically, also further evidence that if something is at Bai Yu butt height, he will lean/sit on it. I think I’m going to have to start capitalising it since Bai Yu Butt Height now seems to be a Thing.

(I could not get this paused at just the right moment, so here, have a gif)

And look here! He’s sitting kinda properly and only vaguely uncomfortable looking, but that has more to do with the situation than the sitting.

Seriously, so weird.

If we stick with just the general premise of ‘does he sit or doesn’t he’ then being on a horse counts...even though watching the game scenes hurt me in a major secondhand embarrassment way. Just...the outfits, people, and the hair...I just...I can’t.

At one point he gets his arse handed to him multiple times, which leads to quite a bit of time on the floor.

Even the set refuses to let Bai Yu get up and support his own body weight apparently. The weirdness of him standing under his own power is obviously just too much.

Too odd.

Too strange.

He must be returned to his natural state of being.

The car magnet he’s got implanted in his backside did manage to do its job though...even if it was in the background and barely lasted a couple of seconds at most.

Now then, the drama. Admittedly I only got to episode 11 then I started skipping because I got a bit bored with the main pairing and general story. But the bits I skipped to? Yeah...I may have gone a little over fixated on the whole way of sitting thing since I found myself analysing the degree of leg bend when his feet weren’t in shot to gauge whether or not both feet were planted on the ground or if one was on top of the other and...yeah, let’s just say it was a good thing when I got to the end of this drama. For what remains of my sanity if nothing else.

Look, most of the time, if he’s not standing and walking, he’s like this.

Sitting properly, feet on the floor. And yeah, it counts as not supporting his own weight. But what happened to the floor is lava? How hard was it for him not to cross his legs, or put one foot on top of the other, or rest his feet on something else?

He does cross this legs sometimes, and you can even see it fully a couple of times.

Like here, this is what I’ve come to expect. This is a normal seated look for this man.

He sits.

He flicks one leg over the other.

He’s happy.

Simple.

But most of the time, he doesn’t have his legs crossed in this drama. Which led me to leaning forward and squinting at the screen when moments like this came along.

Because those legs are crossed. I’m sure of it.

Cao Guang, as a character, is not the kind of person to sit like this often. Bai Yu, as a person, can’t seem to stop himself fully though.

And look at this.

When it comes to this desk, this is the weirdest he sits. Which isn’t weird at all! It’s still kinda sitting properly!

And then this. This is one of those moments where I spent way too long staring at his legs trying to determined if he had one foot on top of the other.

From the angle, and the shadows, and the different heights of his knees, I have decided that yes, he does had one foot on top of the other. He is playing the floor is lava when the camera can’t see his feet.

(...don’t judge me for diving off the deepend on this one. I’m already judging myself hard enough)

Cao Guang might not be much of a weird sitter, but he is still a slight leaner if the opportunity presents itself.

Especially in Bai Yu Butt Height circumstances.

But in general, he’s less of a full body lean, and more of a light, quick lean. And it always seems to be on things he himself has placed there.

Like a moped,

or a camera.

He does sit on the floor in a sweaty mess after having his arse handed to him in a 1 on 1 basketball game.

Seriously, if you want a sweat physically dripping off of him Bai Yu, then this is the scene for you.

Further sittingwise you have some general sitting in what I think it meant to be a foreign country(?).

And the delightful lift-and-turn he’s got going on here.

(and I’ve only just realised that ErXi has her hand up as though if she can’t see the teacher, then the teacher can’t see her. I adore this woman, she’s just so cute)

Hospitals.

Every character of Bai Yu’s I’ve encountered so far has a different way of sititng in hospitals.

Zhao Yunlan looks like he’s barely seconds away from either sliding to the floor or giving himself back problems, Xie Nanxiang is partial to a lean or a cross legged sit. Cao Guang? I would describe it as he sits like a bloke - legs spread, elbows resting on his knees. This might honestly be the straightest Bai Yu character I’ve ever encountered.

Of course he also has an in-game character in this. The wig is less cringe worthy than in the film, but there is something about his eyes in this that freaks me the fuck out so you won’t be getting on the floor pictures or looking in the direction of the camera pictures because looking at it too much seems to trigger a mild fight, flight, or freeze response in me. And I’m in no mood to deal with such ridiculousness.

So, in game character. He does spend time on the floor, only a little though. Most of his time is actually spent walking. But then they get in a boat and Bai Yu gets to indulge in his favoured elbow hook seated position generally reserved for benches and breakfast bar surface things when he’s on a stool.

Ok, last but not least, the moped!

This is a moped that birthed a headcanon for me.

It would seem that regardless of character, if something is a form of transport with wheels, then Bai Yu will find some way to sit or lean on it.

And y’know what? He is fully capable of looking damned good while doing so.

So that’s it? I think the conclusion I can draw from this one is that Bai Yu’s sitting, leaning, and lounging habits are things he can either turn up or tone down depending on the character. It’s just that more often than not the characters he plays allow him to turn it up. But Gao Guang was one of the more subdued ones, more straight blokey vibes, than Bi Disaster ones.

Both film and drama are available on Netflix (at least here in the UK they are).

They’re also on YouTube - film - drama - with subtiles and pretty good quality.

And both are on DramaCool - film - drama

The drama is on Viki too.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

[inmyarmswrappedin]

The good: 

Skam España set up Amira’s crush on Dani (and Dani’s crush on Amira) in s2 and, regardless of how it ends, they are following through with that storyline, instead of dropping it like a hot potato.

The bad: 

Okay, so first off I have to say I’ve never vibed with Lucas Nabor (Dani)’s acting. And by never I truly do mean never, as in the first day of Cris’ season, I found the way Lucas N played Dani in the confrontation with Cris after they get home extremely cringy. This was way before I could’ve ever dreamed that Skam España would whitewash Yousef’s character and turn him into a white character. 

So, for me, it’s not just an issue of whitewashing (which is already bad enough on a show with no meaningful male characters of color), but eskam pairing one of my favorite Skams character ever with the character I like the least for acting reasons.

But I figured eskam wouldn’t really have the audacity to whitewash a love interest and not give us a Yousef of color in another form. Just like the way we got that 5-second glimpse of Lucas Rubio hooking up with a boy named Iván in the s2 finale, so people could see the male Isak had also found an Even, or the way we got a full season of Miquel being the abusive boyfriend that Spanish viewers saw William as, but for Noorhelm fans, Alejandro still got to be Nora’s endgame. 

And so, when Sofian in the trailer was blatantly posited as a love interest, juxtaposed with shots of Dani with the same expression and filmed from the same angle, I thought, “Okay, so Amira will have an additional love interest who is actually Moroccan, and he’ll probably be around much less (like Iván in s2 and Alejandro in s3), but he’ll be the endgame.” 

Like... Never in my wildest nightmares would I have thought that Skam España would take... idefk... Lito from Skam and turn him into a full fledged character who’d play the fuck out of Amira and attempt to talk her into bearding. 

When Kasim was introduced and people immediately noticed the look between Lucas and Kasim, I thought, “no fucking way Skam España would pull an Elite.” WHEN, when has Skam España looked towards Elite for inspiration before? Not even just to “fix” Elite storylines and turn them into good storylines. Elite and Skam España have never existed in the same sphere or tried to do the same things or impacted each other.

When the spoilers came out, I thought back to the time in s3 when the same hackers said that Alejandro would hit Miquel with a bottle. At the time, I heard of the Alejandro spoilers and wondered to myself, “is this something Skam España would ever do?” And I thought nah, no way, Skam España has never been concerned with toxic masculinity or romanticized it. And I was right! 

So I did the same thing with these spoilers, and I was SO SURE that I had understood the show, that I had understood what Skam España had been trying to do all these three seasons, that Skam España was so disinterested in men as a whole that they’d never try something so complex with either Dani (a conversion storyline) or Kasim (a closeted storyline). Both of those storylines are storylines Skam España gives to GIRLS. Because men in eskam have always been more about what they symbolize for the girls, than their own entities. And I liked that! So, on that level I feel betrayed, because Skam España had been telling it was one thing for three seasons, until in s4 they decided Amira didn’t deserve the same treatment as all the other mains, where she doesn’t get to be by far the most complex character in her own season. (I’m not saying Amira isn’t complex - she is. She is the most complex Sana and the most nuanced.) 

There are a couple things that gave me a bad vibe about this season from the start: one was the fact that Kasim wasn’t introduced in episode 1. Skam España always introduces the characters that are significant for the main in episode 1, so for Kasim to not show up in episode 1, that was a sign. The other one was that Skam España gave the bonus clips to Alejandro. This is a show that refused to give Lucas bonus clips in s2, because his experience as a gay boy just wasn’t relevant to Cris. Not in the same Viri’s experience was relevant to Nora. And suddenly, Alejandro (and not Nora) gets the bonus clips in a season about Amira? Like, it was just fucking weird. It is weird as shit that a show that has always gleefully centered the female experience to the detriment of the male experience, would decide in their Muslim woc season, that it was time for the whitest, straightest, cisgenderedest, richest character on the show to be the first one to get some focus.

Because Sana seasons across the board have underperformed compared to the seasons that came before them (because of racism and islamophobia in Europe), I thought that maybe Movistar had decided to lean on the romance a bit more heavily this season, in order to make it seem more appealing. Kinda makes sense, no? We’re tired of seeing straight white girl seasons, so making Nora’s season lean a bit more on the educational side of Skam isn’t a risk. People will still tune in. But a Sana season is a bit of a harder sell, so we have to sweeten the deal with romcom tropes and all the other couples in the show making out and about to have sex, to make up for Amira not getting those scenes. I thought I could live with that.

But like, there’s adding some background fanservice from established couples and then there’s this monstrosity that leans into EVERY islamophobic Muslim trope ever (because it’s super commercial and high stakes drama and excitingggggg). Like, in Western media, Muslim men are either oppressors (abusive, strict husbands who beat their wives and are terrorists or thugs or thieves) or oppressed (closeted gay boys who resort to extreme means, such as bearding or dealing drugs, in order to stay under the radar). They never get to be the leading love interest. I have never seen a Muslim man of color on Spanish TV be the male love interest, and especially not the love interest to a Muslim woman. And Skam España will be no different.

I also hope people understand the way it undermines literally every other thing they’re trying to do with the show. Amira already explained at length both her own stance towards gay people and Islam’s stance towards gay people, in s2 and her bonus video with Lucas. if you want to be a Muslim in good standing, you can be gay as long as you don’t act on it. But you can also be a Muslim who eats pork, or a Muslim who doesn’t fast in Ramadan, or a Muslim who doesn’t pray five times a day, because ultimately it’s about every individual’s relationship with Allah. To go back on this for a homophobic Muslims storyline undoes everything they did in s2. 

It also undermines Dounia as a character. Here’s a practicing Muslim who longs for a safe space, who doesn’t want to answer questions from non Muslims, who thinks it’s better not to even open the door to a relationship with a white non Muslim, and who’s really confident in all those decisions. And if you think the show isn’t setting her up to be confronted with the fact her brother doesn’t feel safe among Muslims, who prefers questions from non Muslims over telling the truth to Muslims, who has happily opened the door to a relationship with a white non Muslim, who thinks that Dounia is a homophobe in short, and that she will be made to reexamine all her beliefs because of her brother... I just don’t know what to say to you tbh.

And also, this clip made it seem like Amira’s Muslim world wouldn’t accept her crush on Dani, undoing everything the show has done until now. Dounia didn’t disapprove when Amira told her she had a crush on a white non Muslim. She understood and shared her experience. Amira’s mother knew about her crush on Dani and never tried to stop it, nor did she discourage it when Amira told her about it. Why is Skam España suddenly acting like Amira can’t tell anyone about her budding relationship with Dani, when every anon on tumblr dot com will tell you that relationships between Muslim women and Christian men happen all the time?

And finally, it just makes me reexamine previous Skam España seasons and wonder... Did they make Amira only start wearing hijab in the first day of s1 because they knew a character like Sana wouldn’t contemplate a relationship with a white character who makes islamophobic jokes, drinks and makes out with the Sana’s friends in front of her after specifically inviting her to a party? Did they make Amira the show’s Isak’s best friend just so they could whitewash Yousef? Was the whole purpose and trajectory of Amira on the show, everything they did with her, a justification for whitewashing one of the few positive men of color on Western TV? For refusing to show a Muslim girl in a happy relationship with a Muslim boy? To only portray and devote time to Muslim poc/white atheists relationships? (Amira’s parents not withstanding.) As if the most positive outcome for a Muslim person living in Europe is to marry a white atheist. That is what Skam España did to Sana’s season, to Sana, to the balloon squad. 

[l8rhader]

You Can Change Right Next To Me Universe Meta that might eventually become an in universe oneshot collection.

Bev was ALL of the Losers’ first kiss.

All of them.

Bill (the play... but also between Eddie and Richie when they start “dating” because they’re 13.  it’s not unlike the movies tbh) then Eddie, (she’s probably been spending too much time with richie because eddie is really fucking cute and she can’t? help? it?) then Richie (fall after what would be the summer of IT if any of the clown shit happened they’re sitting behind the ice cream shop talking) then Ben (he does something super sweet one day and she just can’t not) then Mike (truth or dare), then Stan (he’s not not jealous and they’re not not stoned and it’s not not the hottest thing that Bill and Richie have ever seen ever until that moment and it’s definitely not not the moment they both realize that bisexual can definitely be a thing because they’re both so fucking jealous of both of them both in that particular moment.)

BUT HERE’S THE THING.

Stan was all of the boys (except Ben’s) first kiss with a boy and they’re literally all 16 here.  This is ALL in the year before YCCRNTM

Richie (he saw the way that Richie was watching him and Bev earlier that night and didn’t want his best friend feeling left out so, when Richie pulled into his driveway to drop him off, he kissed him to thank him for the ride home and Richie thought he might actually die and that also may have been A Thing for both of them for a hot minute because kiss is a really loose term here because they were ) then Mike (the only one of the Losers to actually come out to anyone else in like a speech type situation and Mike’s just like “BUT I’M GONNA DIE ALONE BECAUSE DERRY” and Stan kneels up and plants one one him, assuring him that if someone else doesn’t see that he’s a fucking catch by the time they graduate, they’ll make a go of it.  Mike laughs it off but doesn’t realize that Stan is 100% serious) then Eddie (they’d actually been fighting.  Stan had already figured out that Richie was in love with Eddie and Eddie made some snippy comment about some joke Richie had made and Stan had to stand up for him and it became a kind of weird back and forth that wound up with Eddie saying “It’d make more sense for me to kiss you” so Stan just... does.  Eddie melts.  Actually like melts.  Then Stan looks at him and goes, “imagine how much better that would’ve been if i’d been him” and stomps off leaving Eddie.exe to malfunction) then Bill (bill didn’t know about Stan kissing Richie until waaaaaaaaaay after and he only finds out because he walks into gym one day to find Richie and Bev talking about their best kisses and Bev says, because she’s incapable of being anything other than candid, that it’s Stan.  She likes kissing Ben, but the way Stan had just grabbed her and kissed her that night Did Things and she definitely had to go home that night and Take Care of Business.  Richie had laughed really hard because SAME BEV HOLY SHIT so next period is Lunch and he’s like yo stan we’re going to burger king because it’s pre-you-have-to-stay-on-campus-all-day-because-people-are-crazy-it’s-lunch-if-you-wanna-go-home-go-home and he’s like “you’ve kissed bev and richie wtf” and stan’s like “yep.  and also almost everyone else.  what about it?  you’re literally the straightest guy i’ve ever met so it never even entered my mind” to which Bill makes an audible “?!!???!!!” and Stan’s like “Okay.  So.  Can we get lunch now or did you just bring me out here to be a pain in my ass?”  and he deliberately Does Not Kiss Bill that day.  or for like a week.  Bill hasn’t exactly forgotten so much as given up when Stan pulls up in The Cardinal to pick Bill up from the library and he is standing there with his arms and legs crossed, leaning against the car and Bill makes a face that screams “?!!???!!!” more than the noise did and Stan, honest to god, smirks.  Bill is practically vibrating the whole way home and Stan.  Doesn’t.  Kiss.  Him.  Just drops him off at home.  Bill stands in the garage for like 10 minutes all flustered and huffy.  He grabs silver and rides like the fucking wind over to Stan’s, finding him sitting in his garage.  “Took you long enough.” and Bill just fucking mauls him.  

Ben’s first kiss with a boy was Richie.  They were paired up for a scene in As You Like It   They played rock paper scissors for who’d be who.  Richie won for Rosalind and stuck his tongue out mercilessly.  Ben was still pining over Bev here not actually with her yet and Richie knew that the line with the “You will not die” would need absolutely no reaction from Ben at all because he had literally said the same words to him over the summer.  not literally but like pretty much they were talking about how, when friends have this kind of conversation (because he may or may not have made bev be eddie once or twice except she didn’t know she was being eddie just a hypothetical person that richie had a crush on that Sounded An Awful Lot Like Eddie) they end up kissing there and there and there.  Ben was like (shocked pikachu face) and richie’s like... so we should kiss there and there and there.  So Ben’s like. um. no. i’ll kiss my hand and high five you?  and Richie was like “Or you could kiss me and not be a pussy?”  and ben gets all grumbly and goes mnotapussyijustdonwanna and richie’s like dude it’s fine i just thought that the point of this assignment was to modernize it and give it more reality and he’s like look put yourself in her shoes here.  she’s pretending to be a guy and then falls in love with a guy and he’s in love with who she is as a woman but she can’t let him know that she’s falling for him because what if he realizes that she’s him.  SO aren’t you, in rosalind’s shoes, going to take any opportunity you can get to kiss bev until you can figure out how to make it work?  and ben’s got this mentally constipated look, then it sinks in.  then, grasping at straws goes “i’ve only ever been kissed by one person.” and richie just leaned in and kissed him.  “now it’s two” Ben looks at him for a second, then kisses him.  so Richie’s like “look we run through it once with then once without and see which works better.”  fun fact- richie was right.  it worked better.  they got extra credit for the insightful commentary.

Bev, on the other hand, has never kissed a girl and she thinks that is a TRAVESTY and they really need more girl friends.

[formless-monkeys]

What is your favorite relationship(s) in the show (romantically or platonically, doesn’t matter!)

Anon you will regret opening pandora’s box. Or not. In any case, this post is going to be very long because I’m full of love. Also, anything marked romantic does not need to be romantic for me to lose my shit over them. In no particular order, either. Just in the order I thought of them.

1. The Black-eyed trio

Characters: Otto, Sparx, and Gibson.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These three are grouped together by virtue of not being obscenely powerful and serving more practical uses on the team. Also, their eyes are all the same color. Besides the poetic connections of the colors of their design, they were alone in the robot together while the other three monkeys were out training.

Sparx and Gibson’s interactions give me life, going from playful jabs to genuine fighting right back to ride-or-die is amazing. The beginning of Night Of Fear, the battles in Brothers In Arms, and a bunch of small moments throughout the series are wonderful for this.

I could write an essay about Otto and Gibson, and someone else already has, but I’ll summarize it as ADHD autism solidarity with a side of Shut The Fuck Up Gibson. They care about each other and learn to respect each other in a way that’s better for both of them. I know a real-life Gibson to my Otto and learning that she’s just pretentious and doesn’t really hate anyone, and figuring out that we’re both equally brilliant and incredibly similar has made life a million times better.

Otto and Sparx don’t have as much development as Gibson with both of them, but their jokes together and general trust is amazing. Sparx is the dumb monkey and Otto supports him in his himbo endeavors. 

These three together make an unstoppable technical team, and the only reason they probably couldn’t be a superhero team on their own is because of the raw power and fun dynamics brought by the other half of the team. 

Romantically, these three would make the DUMBEST polycule ever. There is no true mediator here. It’s three dumbasses figuring out how they could possibly share a twin-sized bed when they have the ability to just make a bigger bed. Gibson calculates the most efficient 3 monkey makeout and none of them follow the statistics. They all give Chiro equally useless and conflicting advice on homework. Trying to give them a mediator in the polycule just makes me go back to shipping polymonkeys because I literally can’t decide if Antauri or Nova go better with them.

2. Quiet trust and encouragement

Characters: Otto, Antauri

Type: Platonic, Romantic

Explanation: When Otto is being dismissed by the other monkeys, or by the show itself, Antauri is usually the first to say “that’s bullshit, Otto is wonderful”. Circus Of Ooze is a notable example, but there are little moments in other seasons as well. 

I just love the idea of the historically MOST SERIOUS and strongest monkey, sometimes even elevated to god-like status by some fanworks... paired with the monkey that has been infantilized and disrespected to no end. I personally like making Antauri have to lean on Otto, just to subvert that even further. 

Beyond spite, I ship this simply because I like their dynamic. Antauri needs someone to ground him with more tactile physical things, and Otto needs someone to share his more nebulous thoughts I can’t imagine the others listening to. I love them.

Also, I want Antauri to unlock his true dumbass potential. He has the abilities, but not the will. Be silly with Otto. I want to hear him snort-laugh.

I literally forgot all the silver monkey stuff but I got three fics about that you know I go nuts over mechanic x robot shit.

3. The monkeys and their human son.

Characters: Chiro, Antauri, Nova, Sparx, Gibson, Otto

Type: Familial

Explanation: This family gives me joy. They were forced together through astronomical means and they made the best of it. 

Everyone living in the robot is absolutely fucked up. They help each other in the darkest of times. They lift each other up when it’s light. They are a perfect team and nobody can be missing without it feeling wrong. But they can add people!

“Girl Trouble” as a concept is AMAZING to me but my secondhand embarrassment is so strong that I hate the episode. But never once is any of the monkeys resentful of Chiro. Not even Mandarin is like “wow I wish he didn’t take my place” no he’s also struck with the urge to nurture this kid to his fullest potential. Whether you see the team as a bunch of older siblings or 4 dads and a mom doesn’t really matter, they’re a family.

I mean, this also has a sprinkling of shipping all the monkeys in a really domestic way because I like seeing my optimal future in characters I like, but like literally all of these, it doesn’t need to be romantic for me to go nuts. I just think it would be fun to throw just a big monkey wedding or whatever. And funnier for Antauri to go “Chiro I’m having a baby. The baby is you” and holding up adoption papers because on the principle of Toby “Radiation” Fox I love that joke, especially when made much less weird than the original context.

I have a set of characters who is just 5 people in a polycule raising kids and living life because I really love this concept as a family.

4. Evil Coworkers

Characters: Mandarin, Sakko

Type: Romantic, Platonic,

Explanation: Why the hell are these two, in particular, working together? SK could’ve put Mandarin with literally anybody else and he chose what on the surface appears to be the LEAST compatible person on the account that they’re both monkeys. Some bitter asshole who now looks like the epitome of toxic masculinity and this tiny pink pet who used his femininity both as an advantage and a style. They’re different but it ends up working really well for both of them because they’re different in ways that cover each other’s bases. It’s wonderful. Pink and Orange go well together. Green and Purple go well together. Mandarin and Sakko go well together. Also, they clearly trust each other. During almost the entirety of “Hidden Fortress” Sakko was presumably just chilling inside of Mandarin’s armor. Mandarin trusted him enough to have Sakko in a place where he’s able to mess with his cybernetics, and Sakko trusted Mandarin enough to go into the battlefield with him and probably get tossed around.

If they were both human and in a more modern media, then they would definitely be shipped in the straightest way you can get without actually being straight. The Straightest Gay Ship. 

5. A Witch and her Accidental Evil Coworker

Characters: Skelemandarin, Valeena.

Type: Platonic, Romantic, 

Explanation: These two have been through some shit. Skelemandy was made to serve Skeleton King only to have that purpose yanked away from him. Valeena was groomed to idolize and serve Skeleton King for nearly her entire life. They were forced together by SHEER CHANCE and they both hated it. Arguably they both died at some point. 

They both have absolutely NOBODY they can trust so let’s make them trust each other. All hilarity and sweetness comes from that. 

Their dynamic is so good that I have them on a blog for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FANDOM and people love them with no context. 

This is the only cross-species ship I have (besides chinmay and the antauri ships but that doesn’t count), but the fact that Skelemandy isn’t actually a monkey and needs no cybernetic assistance to be human-level sentient makes it a lot less weird. Just put them on equal ground power-wise (like by nerfing Valeena’s magic) and you have the ingredients for bonding. 

They have like, no cute moments in canon, but that’s why we have fics and art. They have potential. I want them to help each other figure out who they are without their purpose. I want them to survive this horrible life together. I want them to figure out how to trust again. I want a lot but Valeena is fucking dead.

But she doesn’t have to be.

(Also Valeena is REALLY HOT and Skelemandarin is just me as a monkey)

6. Gay Dads

Characters: The Alchemist, Captain Shuggazoom

Type: Romantic, Platonic

Explanation: Oh my stars. Oh null. Oh me oh my hhougfhfakjghf. These two have the angst of Mantauri but on crack. 

They only appeared in about two episodes each and all three episodes are top tier. They call each other “Friend” multiple times in their shared episode. THEY’RE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! The face Al makes when he realizes that Cap is visiting makes me really happy. The fact that Cap had this whole Batman Double Life thing and he shows the Alchemist BOTH OF THEM is amazing. The alchemist is a hermit living in the woods and he lets Cap into that life. 

There isn’t a lot shown, much less than everything else here. But that makes every single fanfic so much richer since they’re almost completely based on headcanons. Friends who have a mutual crush on each other but are No Homo about it? Secret boyfriends? Husbands with 6 monkey kids? An Old man and a grumpy Skeleton making it work? Literally just platonic friends? Dude, you can do whatever you want. 

The tragedy of these two losing each other to one big horrible event crushes me. It influences my every move in my creative work. I have an entire character dedicated to reuniting these two in the most astronomical and ridiculous way possible because the alchemist angered the gods but she thinks he needs some company in his eternal punishment.

I want Clayton to unlock Al’s less serious, more fun side. I want them to work together. I want them to hold hands. GHGHGHDFBG UTTHTYE CNAZSNT EBCV ASUA ER

7. The girl power duo

Characters: Nova, Jinmay

Type: Familial

Explanation: These two were my only comfort during the uncomfortable nightmare that is “The Hills Have Five”

Nova was the one who trained Jinmay, and it seems like they hang out a lot offscreen in season 4. They fulfill the early 2000′s cartoon archetypes of girl and Girl, so they’re supposed to get along. If they didn’t I probably wouldn’t like Jinmay.

Nova is a really good big sister/parental figure to Jinmay, who never had any family to speak of. 

Anyway, this entry has to be shorter because most of their bonding is in “The Hills Have Five” which is either #1 or #2 in my least favorite episode list. Not because it’s bad, but because it makes me viscerally uncomfortable. I really wish literally any other character than Jinmay was in her role in that episode. Or that the “taken to an offscreen area by an adult man while she screams” just wasn’t there. SHE’S 13!!! Nova did literally all she could to help. 

I really like that scene in questionable where Valeena kills almost the entire gang. It’s what they deserve.

Look I just really like Jinmay and I always have. She deserves a good Mom.

8. "My Second In Command”

Characters: Antauri, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: The fandom has really made this ship go from “literally nothing to stand on” to “integral plot point in a lot of fics”. Seriously. I have TWO screenshots that vaguely imply these two ever stood next to each other on the battlefield. This was entirely title-based and fan-made until ProjectAfectivity interviewed Ciro. Yeah he knows Antauri but only as well as the rest of the team. Anyway. Wow. This ship.

This is by far the worst breakup in history. These two, despite what Antauri says, were on equal ground at some point. According to Ciro (and fan speculation), they trained together. This (and other Mandy ship) changes wildly depending on if you think Mandarin was corrupted by the portal or not. Maybe Mandarin was once a kind leader who just crossed the wrong boundaries and paid for it. He could’ve held Antauri gently before battle. He could’ve been the monkey Antauri went to when he needed someone to talk to. He could’ve hyped the team up like Chiro does.

Or maybe, they were constantly fighting against each other in small ways. An incredibly unhealthy relationship, yes, but an interesting story. I like stories where Antauri isn’t this all-knowing pillar of stability. He’s got weaknesses. One of them may have been Mandarin.

Now that’s a good nickname from one to the other.

Imagine Antauri, in a moment of complete trust, declaring Mandarin his weakness. A sweet sentiment. They both know the other is incredibly strong, and trust that the other would never take advantage of that connection. They love each other. Until...

9. "My Closest Ally”

Characters: Otto, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: Okay I'm looking at the screenshot I put for this entry while also having watched Evil Ages recently. My brain is making uncomfortable connections. Combine that with the fandom and the show’s general treatment of Otto and I’m about to slam my head into a wall. I really do not like that, but I feel like there’s somebody out there who does. 

Anyway, this is Gibotto and Ottauri but with all the spice that shipping Mandarin with one of the other monkeys brings. When done well, it’s all the respecting Otto that comes with Ottauri and all the intimate partnership of Gibotto. And the Angst of Mantauri, but a lot more grounded. 

It paints a lot of stories. A story of a single point of comfort in a world Mandarin thinks is out to get him. A story of powerful validation from the one authority in Otto’s life. Of letting your guard down. Of trust, then breaking that trust.

I’d LOVE to see some things with Mandottotauri because that’s epic and cool and poggers. Don’t see a lot, though.

10.The Hets, I guess.

Characters: Jinmay, Chiro. 

Type: Romantic. Platonic. Canon.

Explanation: Look two entries on this list are polyamorous and four of them are mandarin so I have to say SOMETHING for the heteroes following me. Picked this ship over Spova because when I was a young child still suffering from comphet, I never watched the last episode of the show. I only saw up to season 3 at the most. This was the only canon ship for me. And out of all the ships, it’s the most relatable. I’m currently a teenager with black hair who looks really good in eyeliner dating a girl with pink hair who can pick me up and is unbelievably sweet. Except we’re gay and polyam. Wait a second I totally had a crush on Jinmay as a kid and now my gf is the Jinmay in this situation. Oh my god I was going to make this comparison if I did Spova too and I liked Nova.

ANYWAY

These are two LONELY kids. Chiro had bullies during school, and now he doesn’t even go to school. Jinmay hasn’t really had friends at all. Two kids with places in their universe that they aren’t too sure about, and just need someone to lean on. Their date was cute. They instantly bonded over their love of monkeys and I love that. 

The super robot is sometimes an analog for Chiro, in the first two season at least, and the way the super robot held Jinmay’s hands to keep her steady on the COB while her head flew in was SO SWEET. Chiro’s instant recognition and reaction to Jinmay’s head being thrown at the team, as well. He really loves her.

I think it’d be interesting if she didn’t love him back, though. I might take a stab at writing that.

[writing-gifts]

holding on

(platonic bruno x gn!reader)

A/N: This was supposed to be a sugar daddy fic but went the complete opposite direction and now its just the struggle of making friends with a mafioso without realizing he’s a mafioso

the best way i can summarize this is: bruno: i can have a civilian friend….as a treat reader: i am lonely and oblivious

-------

Bruno had come into your life by chance.

You had been rushing to class. And as you hastened your steps, you struggled to shove your almost forgotten notes into your bag.

You were so nervous and shaken from waking up late that your fingers trembled and your papers went scattering across the sidewalk. You immediately knelt down to grab your papers, snatching them up before they got blown away by the wind.

You were so focused on your task that you didn’t notice that you were being helped until a neatly collected stack of papers appeared in front of your face in Bruno's hand--however at the time he was just a stranger to you.

You stood up and quickly thanked the man in a flustered state, babbling about who knows what. In a hurry, you grabbed the papers and placed them in a folder then into your bag.

He probably asked you something but you were barely paying attention, distracted by the time on your watch. The last thing you said to him was a hurried ‘yea bye!’ before quickly continuing on your way.

The next time you met him was at a random park. You had decided to take a different route back home from university for a change of scenery and ended up in a park.

While sitting down and watching the various people passing by, you immediately recognized him. The man who helped you that day.

Without thinking you called out to him, referring to him as sir since you didn't know his name. Thankfully, he didn't seem annoyed by this.

You used this chance to thank him properly since you barely did before. And for some reason he wanted to stay and moved to sit down next to you on the bench.

You properly introduced yourselves and made small talk about random things. He also asked you a decent amount of questions about yourself, which kind of surprised you, but then you remembered this was how people socialized.

You wind up telling him about how you recently moved away from home to go to college here, what you were studying, and how you worked part time at a cafe.

You tried to ask him some things too but he was pretty vague, not giving enough information for you to piece together much.

From then on you ran into Bruno more and more often. It made you wonder if you had passed by him unknowingly before you actually met him.

Soon the two of you become friends. You found yourself spending a good chunk of the time you spent outside your home with him.

Bruno fed you a lot. When he took you out for the first time and tried to pay the whole bill, you practically had to beg him to let you pay half, but every other time after was a lost cause.

Bruno didn't seem to have any issues paying every bill and seemed well off from whatever work he did.

However, when he had tried to randomly help you with some of your school expenses you had to put your foot down. You only knew him for a couple months by then so you just couldn't accept it. Anyways you were doing okay...kind of.

You assured him that you were fine.

When he wasn't fretting over you, you really enjoyed spending time with him. And as you got closer you realized that Bruno was kind of weird, but it was endearing though.

He had a terrible sense of personal space, a strange sense of humor, and a ridiculous amount of knowledge on fish.

He would also say strange things with the straightest face. You really couldn't help playfully teasing him sometimes because of it.

Something else not as fun that you realized about Bruno was that even though he didn't really show it on his face, he could be quite paranoid at times. He wouldn't let you walk home alone when it was too late, which was fair. Naples wasn't exactly the safest place.

But one time he made you stay overnight even though it wasn't dark outside yet. You went along with it because a sleepover sounded fun but then he tried to have you stay again. You had declined but offered to have him stay over at your home one day, but he reacted strangely and said no.

And sometimes you'd catch him looking at nothing in particular with a stern conflicted expression, at least that's what you thought it was.

Other than those moments, Bruno gave off the calm and collected aura of someone who had his shit together. He seemed responsible and reliable. So of course it was no surprise that he'd usually returned a missed call or text right away, but some days he wouldn't reply for days at a time and it made you nervous. You'd overthink and wonder if he was upset with you.

One time he didn't respond to any of your messages for two weeks straight. Text after text unread and every call sent straight to voicemail. And when you finally mustered up the courage to visit his home no one answered.

As you were mulling over getting the police involved, he suddenly appeared at your doorstep, with your favorite dessert, as if nothing happened.

And even though you cried and lost sleep over the temporary disappearance of your first and only friend in Naples, you decided not to pry then. You were just really happy to see him again.

But abnormal things like this constantly happening made you suspicious of what he was up to.

Eventually you couldn't stop yourself and tried to find out anything, but whenever you asked he would simply tell you that you didn't need to worry about it.

It made you sad when he did that.

If he was in trouble you wanted to help. He was always there for you so you wanted him to let you support him too.

When you finally admitted this to Bruno, he looked the most vulnerable you'd ever seen him but it was so faint and momentary you would have messed it if you blinked.

Hiding behind that stoic expression you were starting to get frustrated with, he told you that he appreciated your concerns but they were apparently unnecessary. So you decided it was best to go home to calm down and try to move past it.

After that, sometimes when you both were alone together, he would look at you much more intensely than he usually did. But whenever you asked what was wrong, he'd just shake his head like he changed his mind. And as infuriating as it became you didn’t push.

But fortunately for you, the truth came out anyways.

It was only a matter of time anyways so why'd he keep something like this from you for so long? Logically, it didn’t make sense and you were realizing that your friend might be more reckless than you thought.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" you ask.

It had been a week since you last talked and you decided it was time to confront him.

"I didn't want you involved at all in that part of my life," he pauses, "and I didn't want you to hate me."

You frowned, you should have come here sooner. "I don't hate you, I was just trying to process. I mean...seeing your friend beat the crap out of someone in an alleyway, and then finding out he's involved in the mafia right after is shocking! But not knowing was probably more dangerous..."

Bruno avoids your eyes. "I know."

You sigh and grab his hand. "I'm not going anywhere though."

You begin to squeeze his hand between the two of yours, trying to find something to keep your own hands busy.

"I was mad, I’m still mad, but I understand why you wouldn't want me to know…." you trail off and silence settles between the two of you.

You begin to play with Bruno's fingers unsure of what to say next.

"I wanted to tell you eventually, I just couldn't figure out how," Bruno finally says.

That did make you feel a little better. "This is really dangerous...but I still want to be friends with you.” You laugh a little, “If I told my past self that they’d willingly stay friends with a mafia member...they’d be so pissed.”

Bruno fingers slightly twitch in your grip. You quickly change the subject, internally sighing from your poor joke.

“No more crazy secrets okay?"

Bruno finally looks at you, and you see a bit of conflict in his blue eyes but he nods. "Okay..."

You hold your arms open, and Bruno leans forward and presses his body against yours. You wrap your arms around his neck and push your cheek against his.

The two of you stay like that for a while.

Bruno breaks the silence again. "You smell nice, cara."

You snort. "Thanks Bruno."

[poisonivy7]

Kyalin #1: Izumi’s Genius Plan

Here’s a prompt I got from @/anonymous: Izumi being frustrated with her besties not confessing their love with each other so she basically locks them up in a closet until they talk about their feelings.

I know it’s a bit long, but I really enjoyed writing it and I hope you guys like it! Feel free to comment some more kyalin fanfic prompts (or any other ships from my previous post).

----------

24-year-old Kya and 29-year-old Izumi were sitting by the pond, eating lunch together while watching the turtle ducks swim around. They met every Sunday to catch up — it was their tradition going three years strong. Lately, Izumi noticed that Kya would not shut up about her big fat crush on Lin. She was all Kya would talk about. 

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Izumi finally asked her best friend. 

“Are you crazy? Lin is dating my younger brother, and she is probably the straightest person I’ve ever met. And anyway, I don’t want to ruin our friendship just because I caught feelings,” Kya responded, chuckling. Just the thought of asking Lin Beifong out on a date was ridiculous. 

Izumi sighed disappointedly. Little did Kya know, Lin had confessed her feelings for the older water bender drunkenly a few days ago at the bar. It was the last place anyone would expect to find the Fire Nation princess, but it was Lin’s birthday, and having a break from the regular servants serving upper-class food in the palace was refreshing. 

Izumi could remember that night at the bar with Lin with relative ease (considering Izumi was a bit drunk herself):

“You know what it feels like to be in love with someone you’re not supposed to?…Hurts like a bitch.” Lin winced as she downed the rest of the whiskey in her glass. She motioned to the bartender to get her fifth refill of the night.

“I thought Tenzin’s parents and your mom approve of your guys’ relationship,” Izumi asked, confused.

Lin chuckled drunkenly. “I can’t believe I tried to convince myself that I loved Tenzin when his sister was there the whole time.” Izumi just got even more perplexed.

Seeing the look of confusion on her friend’s face, Lin clarified, “I have a little crush on Kya, but there’s no way she likes me back. I mean, yes, she’s gorgeous, and whenever she’s water bending or laughing or breathing, it’s the hottest thing ever. But she’s also totally out of my league, and she probably picks up so many girls everywhere she goes. Anyway, it’s nothing I can’t get over. So it’s not even a big deal, right?” she rambled as she drank her whiskey, pain searing down her throat. Lin was surprisingly transparent when she was drunk.

The idea of playing matchmaker to her two best friends was so exciting to Izumi. It was a nice break from her regular princess duties. So as she was walking through the halls of the palace for a late-night snack, she came up with the perfect idea. 

Izumi’s birthday party was a week later. She invited her childhood friends every year — Bumi, Kya, Tenzin, Lin, and Su. This year was no exception, even if she was turning the big 3-0. Izumi noticed how Lin would steal small looks at Kya when she wasn’t paying attention. Kya tried getting closer to Lin whenever she could, but it made the situation more awkward, especially because Tenzin was sitting next to Lin. Izumi just wanted to see her friends happy, and witnessing the interactions between them, or lack thereof, was just depressing.

After eating dinner, everyone made their way to the big theatre room to watch a movie. After Bumi and Tenzin managed to stop arguing over what movie they should watch, everyone settled down in the comfortable chairs as the film began playing. Izumi was sitting in between Lin and Kya, but Lin had left to use the bathroom. This was Izumi’s chance to get her best friends to finally confess their feelings for each other.

The Fire Nation princess turned to Kya. “Hey, can you go down to the basement with me to get some blankets? It’s a bit cold here.” 

Kya sighed. She never understood how people got cold so easily. “Yeah, sure thing,” she said.

Izumi led Kya out of the movie theatre room. Once they arrived at the basement door, Izumi noticed that Lin had just left the bathroom that was a few doors down. The timing could not have been any more perfect.

As Kya was going down the stairs, Izumi ran down the hall and found Lin making her way back to the movie theatre. “Hey, Lin! Can you help me get some blankets from the basement?” The metal bender nodded in response and followed Izumi. 

As soon as Lin went down the stairs and saw Kya, Izumi shut the door and locked it. Both Kya and Lin ran back up the stairs, frantically. “Izumi! I don’t know what prank you’re pulling, but this isn’t funny! Unlock the door now!” they demanded.

Izumi laughed. “Not until you guys figure things out!”

Lin tried metal bending the door to unlock it, but it failed since the doorknob was made of platinum. Kya tried freezing the doorknob off, but there was barely any water in the basement to use. “Spirits, I’m going to kill Izumi,” Lin groaned. The last thing she wanted to do was be stuck in a room with Kya. Lin had wondered how Izumi knew that she liked Kya, but she would not have been surprised if she let it slip drunkenly some night. This is why she preferred drinking alone.

They eventually gave up trying to open the door and sat across from each other on the carpeted floor. After a few awkward minutes of silence, Kya started, “So…How are you and Tenzin?”

“Fine,” Lin replied curtly. She hated this so much. She was dating Tenzin, and she did not need their relationship to get messed up just because of a little crush on her boyfriend’s sister.

“You know…if we’re going to have to be stuck in a room together until Izumi lets us out, we might as well make the best of it,” Kya said slyly, sliding herself closer to Lin. The metal bender was sitting rigidly and cross-legged, her arms folded tightly in front of her. She was determined not to give in to her no matter what.

But the moment Kya got close enough to Lin to touch her knee, she almost immediately loosened up, but she caught herself before she could show it. She remained stubbornly rigid sitting against the wall, but inside, all Lin wanted was to feel more of Kya’s touch.

“Is this okay?” Kya asked softly as her delicate hands stayed on the metal bender’s knee, rubbing the scar that had formed there. She looked at Lin innocently, waiting for a response. 

Lin didn’t say a word — she was conflicted. On one hand, she had been with Tenzin for years, and both his parents and her mom were all too happy that they had gotten together. And although her boyfriend was getting uncomfortably close to that air acolyte, Pema, Lin was not going to mess their relationship up.

But on the other hand, there was Kya. Though she hated to admit it, Lin liked everything about her childhood friend. She loved Kya’s goofy, bold personality and her laugh that could light up the whole room in an instant. She loved how soft and caring she was and how badass and powerful she was as a water bender. She loved her long brown hair and bright blue eyes. Spirits, Lin loved every little part of Kya.

So Lin remained seated, back against the wall, conflicted. Kya made her love living, even if it just meant being in the same room as her and sneaking looks every now and then. 

But her relationship with Tenzin was decades in the making, and their parents could not be any happier that they were together. Being with Kya was most definitely scandalous, and the press would eat them alive. Lin could already imagine it: “Lin Beifong, daughter of the Chief of Police, caught kissing Kya, daughter of the Avatar.” The last thing Lin wanted was to be on the front cover of the daily news and to drag Kya, her mom, and the Avatar into it.

Lin had been thinking so much that she barely noticed Kya had moved her hand up to Lin’s face and the scars on her cheek. The older water bender was being unusually bold tonight, but she had been crushing on Lin since they were teenagers, and she could not hold back at this point. 

Lin never let anyone touch her newly-acquired scars, but she felt safe with Kya, and she felt like she could finally let her guard down. Lin’s face was burning red under Kya’s soft touch, and the water bender smirked at how flustered the stubborn metal bender was getting.

“Hmm?” Kya asked softly, still waiting on Lin’s answer to her previous question. She continued gently rubbing Lin’s cheek and making circles with her thumb on Lin’s scars.

“I-“ Lin managed to say, her face getting increasingly warm. Kya smiled and slowly kissed Lin, who, surprisingly, did not immediately push back. 

As Kya was pulling back, Lin pulled Kya’s face closer with her calloused right hand and kissed the water bender again, this time deepening this kiss, smiling as Kya moaned softly. After kissing for a few minutes, Kya straddled around Lin’s legs, the two of them pulled back, breathless. “Damn Beifong, now I really understand why Tenzin likes you so much,” Kya said, smirking. Lin rolled her eyes in response. 

It was then that Lin realized that being with Kya was worth it. She was worth breaking up with Tenzin for and disappointing Lin’s mom and Kya’s parents. She was worth being deemed “deviant” and “scandalous” on the front cover of the daily news for. She was worth risking her position in the police academy for. Kya was worth all the pain and hurt in the world.

“So um…I kinda like you,” Kya said, blushing.

Lin chuckled. “Yeah, I could tell, you dork.” She smiled and added, “I kinda like you too.” She moved forward to kiss Kya again, her muscular arms wrapped around the water bender’s waist. Leave it to Izumi to play matchmaker and concoct such a genius plan.