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thelittleinjenthatcould · 4 years ago

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Hi loves! My latest post is up #ontheblog Jen Finds Gems

New Post has been published on https://www.jenfindsgems.com/more-than-migraines/

Opening Up About my Health: More than Migraines

On October 11th the symptoms started. I went for a bike ride on a beautiful Sunday morning (feeling a little nauseous, but ready to power through it). It was pretty hot and I biked farther than usual so when I returned feeling more nauseous than before and a little “out of it”, I figured I was just dehydrated. I remember speaking to my sister and brother in law on the phone about an hour later and suddenly starting to feel a migraine come on. I figured if I just take it easy and drink some water with my usual migraine meds, it would pass quickly.

It didn’t.

On October 13th I visited my primary Doctor for my symptoms. My migraine was still present but I was feeling dizzy and nauseous. I knew something was wrong. I made the mistake of mentioning that I thought I had vertigo, and after doing a few manual tests (follow my finger, touch your nose, walk in a straight line, etc.) the Doctor said that’s what it sounds like so let’s treat it as vertigto. He preseribed me a anti-dizziness medication called Meclizine and told me that in order to recover and help with the dizziness, I should see a physical therapist.

What? A physical therapist? This won’t pass on it’s own? I have to see a physical therapist to help me walk “normal” again? How did this happen? How long am I going to feel this way? I had so many questions! I visited a physical therapist twice before I realized that there was a bigger problem that lied ahead. The therapist listened to my symptoms and concerns and ran a few tests on his own (the epley maneuver) and realized that this didn’t sound like vertigo at all. “I think we are dealing with something bigger here Jen,” he told me.

I kept that with me. Something bigger. Okay… but what? No one could give me answers.

I was a mess and everyday functions seemed difficult or damn near impossible. I couldn’t move too quickly. I couldn’t look around a room without getting pains. It had gotten to the point where just turning my head from one side to the other felt like the room was violently spinning and I was beginning to have double and blurred vision in my right eye. I couldn’t lay flat, sleep on my right side, or sleep in total darkness because that made the dizziness worse. I felt like I was free falling in the dark and of course that made me super nauseous.

Saturday morning I woke up ready to vomit and I almost fell to my feet. Walking was too difficult because I swayed from one side to the other and I had to run and grab a wall to hold. I fell to my knees and crawled to the bathroom, vomiting for hours. When my husband returned home (he went to drop the kids off at family’s house so he could take care of me) I was hugging the toilet, sweating and holding my head with my eyes closed. I didn’t know if I was having a stroke, a seizure, suffering from brain tumor, or an aneurysm. I was terrified.

That day Nick took me to the Emergency room. They drugged me up and ran countless tests from MRI’s, MRA’s, CT scans and heart evaluations. I was picked and prodded by nurses and Doctors and the on site Neurologist told me that my exams came back fine. He said there wasn’t any area of concern that he could find but he wanted me to follow up with ENT for a possible inner ear issue and then follow up with him for brain evaluations as this could have been linked to my migraines. He also prescribed a medication by the name of Topiramate which is an anti-seizure medication that is used to treat migraines.

After coming home from the hospital, covered in EKG tabs.

I have been suffering from migraines for over 20 years and they never presented themselves in this way. What was happening inside my body? Why now and why wasn’t anything showing up on the tests? I was confused and I was scared.

I was released from the hospital the next day, more confused and afraid than ever. I had no idea what was happening and what I was supposed to do from here. So this is it, I thought. This is how I’m going to feel forever.

As the days and weeks went on, I continued to do research, pray and research more. I made an appointment with an ENT Specialist that left me in tears because he said whether this is an inner ear issue or a migraine issue, it could take years to recover. Years? What the hell! I can barely walk without holding on to my husband or a wall, I can’t be in a bright room and too much noise or movement is over stimulation for me. Years?

That night I found two blogs that gave me relief- The Dizzy Cook and Jennifer of Migraine Strong. I read their stories and instantly felt closer to answers. They spoke about their experiences with vestibular migraines, dizziness and other symptoms, their road to recovery and their treatment plans. Every night I went back to their words. I studied their plans and their courses of action. I took notes of what they did and how it helped them. I looked up the books they recommended and the supplements they took and then… I found that Jen went to Dr. Danner in Tampa that specializes in migraines and neurology! He’s here in Tampa?! I HAVE TO SEE HIM!!

My first appointment with Dr. Danner was on November 4th. He listened to my concerns and helped me understand that what I was experiencing could have been an inner ear issue or be a migraine issue however regardless of which one it was, it would be treated in the same way. He encouraged me to follow a migraine elimination diet to help me find what my triggers are, start taking at least 500 mgs of a magnesium supplement everyday, keep taking my prevention medication, and follow up with him in a month.

I followed the elimination diet to a “T”. I fell in love with a book called “Heal Your Headache,” and I went down rabbit hole after rabbit hole of vestibular migraine research.

A few weeks went by my dizziness subsided but I started to notice that the migraine prevention medication that I was on was giving me adverse effects. I had crazy brain fog, to the point where I found it hard to hold conversations or keep a thought for longer than a few seconds. It made me crazy exhausted, depressed, and I lost about 20 lbs. It made my body feel cold (literally) and I felt frail and weak. The day before Thanksgiving I called Dr. Danner and asked if I should keep taking this medication or stop based on these symptoms and a numbness I started to feel in my right leg. After careful consideration, he recommended that I stop but continue the other migraine treatment plan and follow up with him at my next appointment (which was about a week and a half later).

When I had my follow up appointment, he asked me how I felt. By that time, the numbness in my right limbs had started to feel like a heaviness and my leg would sporadically “lock up”. My leg and arm would move (or not move) on their own and it started to worry me. Dr. Danner had his office staff call in an appointment for me with Dr. Sunil Reddy, an awesome Neurologist in Tampa that could take a deeper look to see if there were possibly any other neurological issues going on.

I have been going to my Neurologist and weekly physical therapy appointments since.

Today I experience less migraines and the spasms in my arms and legs are few and far between. These spasms are believed to be linked to Transverse Myelisits which is inflammation of the spinal cord. This was determined from a neck MRI that I had that showed some scarring on my spine. Sometimes Transverse Myelitis can progress to MS however sometimes it is a one time event that can heal on it’s own. After several brain MRI’s, my Neurologist does not see any lesions or scarring on my brain and does not see an area of concern there. My next order is to get an MRI of my spine and we will monitor and make an action plan based on the findings there.

I still have no idea what triggered all of this to occur and if they are linked in any way. Did my migraines progress into something more which caused these other symptoms and issues? Was something lying dormant and now decided to progress as I got older? How does your spinal cord even get inflammed? Is it something I did??

I’m still learning and I think that my greatest lesson is that I won’t always have the answers. But I know I’m not giving up, and all of this taught me that I’m more of a warrior than I realize!

I am writing this because I hope to help someone that may be going through something similar, just as Jen and “The Dizzy Cook” helped me. When all of this started to happen, all I could do was think of how much I wanted to write about my experiences for this reason. I wish that I could have given you a full synopsis of what I was experiencing in live time, but things progressed so quickly that I seldom had time to process them fully, or the energy or brain power to do so.

I’m sure I left out a lot of details. Like me crying every night wondering why this was happening. My husband having to physically hold me up to walk and take a shower because I was too dizzy to stand. The lack of confidence I had making eye contact with people, in fear that they would see my eyes darting from side to side or trying to focus. Wondering if people were whispering or thinking I was drunk when I stumbled to walk at my daughter’s Gymnastics class or my son’s Taekwondo class. Seeing more Doctor’s, nurses, emergency rooms and Specialists in the last 4 months that I have in the past 5 years. The time, money and MEDICAL BILLS I have racked up since this all started.

This journey has been humbling and frustrating, but I’m happy that I am stronger now than when I started.

I hope that this has helped you in some way and I look forward to sharing more of my journey with you here. If you haven’t already, please check out my blog post on my recommendations for dealing with migraines and follow me on IG for more health and wellness tips.

Stay encouraged and stay positive friends.

With love,

Jennifer.

#migraines

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butterflyinthewell · 5 years ago

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To autistic people who are starting to menstruate...

Okay I’m gonna go all auntie Cyndi on all my younger autistic followers who are new to having periods. I’ve been having my periods for over 20 years now, so I’m experienced in this.

First off, you may have your first period and not have another one for a few months. Your periods may start and happen like clockwork. Your periods may always be irregular.

It’s normal for your ovulation and menstruation to shift throughout the year just like the seasons shift the sun’s position in the sky.

On average, your period comes about two weeks after you ovulate. I’ve pinned mine down enough to know I bleed exactly 19 days after I ovulate, so I can look at a calendar and figure out within a four day margin of when to expect my period. Note that I said on average, some people may have a shorter or longer menstrual cycle.

You’ll know you’re ovulating when you produce a lot of mucus from your vagina that looks and feels like raw egg white. It’s clear, a little more viscous than your spit, it’s very slippery and it will drip out in long strings. I produce a lot, another person may not produce much. If you notice you’re really slimy down there when you’re wiping after you pee, and the toilet paper comes away with stringy slimy stuff on it, take note of the date you saw that and note the date again when get your period. Keep taking notes and a pattern may emerge. That’s your menstrual cycle.

NOTE: If you have unprotected sex during this time, you have a strong chance of getting pregnant. Sperm can swim a long way and survive a long time in the Fallopian tubes, waiting for an egg to come down. Always assume you can get pregnant between the time of finishing a period and starting the next one.

(And I hope this second one never happens to you, but...)

If you were raped during this time, and if they ejaculated inside you or on your vulva, you may get pregnant.

Always practice safe sex and use birth control if you want to avoid pregnancy, and if you were raped you need to assume they got you pregnant and get help to deal with it ASAP.

Now, lemme tell you a little about periods and autism going together.

PMS and your period can really mess with your sensory issues, your meltdown / shutdown threshold, your tolerance for socializing and your ability to control emotions.

You might have brain fog and just feel yucky and groggy.

You might find you want to sleep more or can’t sleep at all.

You might wake up with your armpits sweating heavily.

You may notice you start sweating with less exertion, or you walk into a warm room and swear you’re standing on the sun.

On the flipside, you may feel colder than usual, so walking into a cooler place will feel like walking into Antarctica.

Your skin may get more oily and that may mean greasier hair and more pimples. I know that feels unfair if you already have a lot of acne and problems with hygiene. If your hair length permits washing your hair in a sink, you can do that if a shower is too much. Try to wash your face gently with a wet washcloth when you wake up and before going to bed. Make sure to remove all your makeup before retiring to sleep if you wear any, because it will clog your pores even more if you don’t.

Your body odor may intensify, so keep baby wipes and deodorant / antiperspirant around if showering is hard. Hand sanitizer wiped on your pits can help in a situation where you realize you reek and can’t wash off, but only use that in emergencies.

You may experience some constipation and gas. That’s progesterone’s fault, sometimes it slows down your colon.

You may go from constipated to having huge, greasy poops or even some diarrhea. That’s your hormones shifting. Sometimes a period is a natural laxative because your intestines move a little faster thanks to the hormones that make your uterus contract (prostaglandins) to push out the endometrium. So if you have issues with fecal incontinence, you may have to deal with extra odors and messes when you change your incontinence protection.

Once your period starts, you’ll probably have to pee a lot more often. This is your body getting rid of the water it retained. If you deal with urinary incontinence, this might mean you need to change your incontinence protection more often to avoid infections, skin breakdown and odors.

Btw, you can dehydrate a little as your body sheds the excess water, so make sure to stay hydrated. I take three small sips or one big gulp from my water bottle after I use the bathroom during my period. It’s a helpful routine.

You may have food cravings and appetite changes. You may feel always hungry or not want to eat much or at all. Your desire to samefood might increase. (Mine is currently the cheese pizza flavored Cheez-Its.) Increased hunger is your body getting ready to lose nutrients through your menstrual flow. If you don’t feel your hunger signals, notice if you feel irritable or weak more often, it may mean you need to eat.

Your boobs may get a little bigger and get achy-feeling, so much that you can’t stand a bra or binder. You may get achy feelings in your joints or muscles. It’s likely water retention.

You may put on some weight. This is also water retention. You may find you always gain around the same about of weight each time you’re close to your period.

You may be really impulsive or take risks you wouldn’t usually take, sometimes to the point of recklessness.

You may feel restless like you want to climb out of your skin. Your frustration threshold might plummet to nothing, so everything is aggravating.

If you have self injurious meltdowns, you may have more SIB than usual. You might also notice an increased need to stim, and sometimes stimming doesn’t help you feel better or calm down.

If you’re physically able, try to do something that makes you exert yourself, like jogging, moving heavy things or some other kind of vigorous exercise. Even dance is good if that’s what you enjoy. Think of it as venting excess energy so it’s not stuck in your chest.

If you’re not physically able to exert yourself, try snuggling under a weighted blanket and pressure stimming. Think of it as drawing excess energy to where you’re putting pressure so it’s not stuck in your chest.

You may have mood swings and default to a certain mood so much that you feel stuck in it.

If you’re prone to migraines, you’re more likely to have one when you’re premenstrual.

All of this can be scary if you’re still new to having periods.

See a doctor if your bad feelings are so bad that you get super depressed and have suicidal thoughts two or more periods in a row, It could be PMDD, which is the nasty older sister of PMS.

PMDD is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or a very extreme version of PMS.

It’s kinda normal for PMS symptoms to vary in intensity from month to month, but if you find yourself consistently in a very bad mental state before your period, you may need extra help to handle it.

Once your flow starts, you might have bursts of feeling REALLY good or affectionate: that’s because of oxytocin and maybe some serotonin, enjoy it.

Your flow may be fairly light, get heavy and then lighten again. You may start with a lot of gushes and then it lightens up until it stops. If you normally have a light flow and suddenly it turns heavy with an increase in cramping, there may be a problem that needs a doctor to check out. If your heavy flow gets even heavier, to the point that you’re soaking through the thickest pads, there may be a problem. Don’t let them blow you off, be firm. “I don’t normally bleed this much or have this much cramping, something is up.”

Things like stress, weight gain or weight loss can affect your period. Being sick can sometimes throw it off. Periods are fickle, annoying and weird things. Keep track of them, take note of the color and amount of your flow and get to know it. Knowing your body at its baseline will help you recognize it later if something goes wrong. It may take your cycles time to find their “normal” as your body figures out how to handle having periods.

It never hurts to always have a pad, tampon, menstrual cup or whatever you use to catch your flow. Keep it in your backpack, purse, pocket, etc.. If you prefer pads, it’s always a good idea to put one in your underwear if you’re expecting your period and you go out somewhere. That way it won’t be a huge emergency if your flow starts. Putting one in when you go to sleep at the time you expect your period flow can also help you sleep easy and not worry about making a mess in your bed.

(I personally prefer thick pads, so it feels like I won’t leak, but I know that may be a sensory yuck for someone else. Try different things till you find what works.)

Those little gushes you feel occasionally are normal. Yeah, sometimes you will feel your period goop coming out. Some advice: when you’re using the toilet, push a bit and then do a kegel, which is squeezing the muscles in your vagina that stop your pee from flowing— you might push a lot of period stuff out. It’ll help you not have to change your pad as often.

I’m cis, so I can’t speak on how taking testosterone will affect periods. I will leave this open for an autistic person who is taking T to add to this if they want. 👍🏻

Now that I said all that, it’s possible you may have zero premenstrual issues and your period won’t cause you much trouble at all. Every uterus-owning body is different. People already dealing with depression or other mood disorders may have more trouble during their period, or their period may even boost their mood for a short time. As I said, everyone is different.

❤️ Take care! ❤️

#actuallyautistic #actually autistic #autism #asd #tw rape #tw pregnancy #tw menstruation #tw suicide mention #food mention

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theundercovermarvelfan · 5 years ago

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I’m still here! Apologies, I’ve had a nasty migraine the past couple days so now I’m way behind. I know the Whumptober Challenge for @whumptober2019 is technically over now that it’s November... but I’m still determined to finish! With the posting on this prompt, I’ve got six more prompts to go! Let’s do this!

(Also, sorry in advance for the vague ending, this idea ended up being more complicated than I had anticipated, haha)

Day Twenty-Five - Infection

“Barton? You still with me?” There was a long and painful silence. The body in the other cell didn’t move, not so much of a twitch. Was he still breathing? “Barton? Clint?!”

Clint gave a small, weak cough as he shifted uncomfortably. “Still here, Cap.”

Steve sighed heavily in relief. “Good. Let’s try to keep it that way, okay?”

“That’s the plan,” Clint confirmed with a strained smirk. He took in a rattling breath and the coughed weakly again.

Steve felt helpless as he watched Clint from where he sat on the floor of his own cell. They were being kept in a long hallway that was lined with jail cells, but since they had been brought here they had been the only two occupants. Steve occupied one cell about halfway down the hallway and Clint occupied the one directly across from him.

They had both been in pretty rough shape when they had been brought in. But the difference was that Steve had the super soldier serum flowing through his veins. A deep gash in his thigh and a stab wound in his shoulder that had practically crippled him days ago were already almost completely healed. In contrast, a decent bullet crease in Clint’s side -- a much more minor injury than Steve’s when they had been captured -- had led to an infection that was now wreaking havoc on his body.

Guilt weighed heavily on Steve as he watched a violent tremor run through Clint’s body.

Steve glared at the bars of the cell. Normally, it wouldn’t be enough to hold him, but they had figured out -- the hard way -- that the bars were electrified. They were very effectively contained, and Steve honestly didn’t see a way out of this. He knew the team must be looking for them, but there was no guarantee that they would find them in time.

Steve scrubbed a hand over his face. He had rarely felt so powerless. Well, at least since he had been gifted with the super soldier serum.

The door at the end of the hallway scraped open like nails on a chalkboard. Steve instantly launched himself to his feet, craning to see who was coming. Opposite him, Clint lifted his head from where it had been lulling listlessly against the wall he was leaning heavily against and blinked blearily. It said a lot about his deteriorating condition that he didn’t even try to get to his feet as one of their guards came down the corridor.

“Chow time,” the guard announced flatly.

He held a plastic tray in each try, each with a plastic cup of water and a fist-sized chunk of bread. He placed them down on the floor and used his foot to push one between the bars of Clint’s cell.

“I don’t want it,” Steve snapped as the man turned toward his tray. “Give it to him.” He jerked his chin toward Clint as if there were any other options.

The guard looked at him, sizing him up for a moment. “No can do. You’re the main event buddy.” He slid the tray into Steve cell.

Steve locked the man with a hard glare. “If I’m the main event, then I’m making the calls. I’m not touching this. So give it to him.”

The guard sighed. “Dude, I can’t make that call, it’s above my paygrade. Just eat the damn bread. Okay?”

Steve met the man’s gaze, holding it without blinking as he kicked over the cup of water and then stomped on the bread, which crunched loudly in the quiet room. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“That man is dying,” Steve hissed lowly. “I know your boss doesn’t care, because he thinks I’m the real prize here. But you’re going to go back to him and make him care. Even with the serum, I’m not immune to dehydration and starvation. In fact, with my high metabolism, it happens quicker than most people.” Steve took a step toward the bars, feeling the heat from the electricity. “Go tell him that my friend needs medical attention. And I won’t touch any food or water until he gets it.”

The guard sighed heavily as he turned and headed back down the hallway, muttering about how he doesn’t get paid enough for this bullshit.

“That metabolism thing… is that real?” Clint asked after they were alone again.

Steve smirked. “As far as they know.” He paused, eyeing the distance between the tray at the front of cell and where Clint sat at the back of the cell. “Can you make it to the tray? You really should eat and drink something.”

Clint eyed the tray himself and then sighed heavily, the action causing a wince. With an effort, Clint pushed himself away from the way, his features twisting in pain as he pushed himself across the cell. His left arm was pushed tightly up against his side as he moved, and Steve had to imagine that the wound was terribly painful at this point.

By the time he settled himself next to the tray, one knee bent up to his chest and his other leg curled underneath him, Clint was panting heavily and had to reach up to wipe sweat from the from his brow before reaching a trembling hand down to the cup of water. He was barely able to keep the cup steady enough to take a small sip. Steve’s stomach twisted as the watched, wishing that he could at least help with the menial task.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked, mostly just to break the painful silence.

Clint carefully placed the cup back on the tray and braced his hand on the floor, hunching over himself and grimacing.

“Not gonna lie,” Clint said with a hoarse, humorless laugh. “Not real great, Cap.”

“Yeah, I know,” Steve admitted. “You just need to hang in there a little longer. I’m sure the team is closing in.”

Clint sat back heavily. “Yeah. Hope so.”

Steve frowned when Clint didn’t reach toward the tray again. “Can you try and drink some more water and eat some of that bread?”

Clint swallowed thickly. “Yeah,” he huffed on a heavy exhale. “Yeah… yeah, just needa… needa minute.”

Damnit. Clint was crashing fast. They were running out of time.

“Captain Rogers.” Steve’s eyes snapped back down the hallways as the door slammed open again. A guard of five men were stomping down the corridor. The man in front, obviously the man in charge, held a small, white box in one hand and a drawn sidearm in the other as he strode down the hallway between the cells. “As requested, we brought your friend some fresh bandages.” He stopped between the cells and carelessly tossed the box between the bars into Clint’s cell, sending it skidding. “Now will you cooperate?”

Steve glared. Clint needed a whole lot more than just fresh bandages. But Steve knew that he wasn’t going to make any headway trying to argue for antibiotics. So he focused on something that he might be able to get.

“He’s not going to be able to change those bandages himself in his condition,” Steve said. “Let me in his cell.”

The man rolled his eyes and cocked his sidearm. Steve tensed as the gun shifted toward Clint. “I’ll let you in to his cell, but one wrong move and I shoot him in the head.”

“Fine,” Steve spat.

“Weapons ready,” the man warned his companions, who all lifted their guns. Then she turned to the radio on his shoulder. “Control room. Release cell 14 and then 15.”

There was a whirring noise and four bars in the middle of the front of Steve’s cell retracted into the floor. A moment later, four bar in Clint’s cell did the same.

“Nice and easy now,” the man said, jerking his head toward Clint’s cell. “And keep your hands where I can see them.”

Steve took a steadying breath. He held his hands out at either side of him as he carefully stepped forward. As he stepped out of the cell, he watched the guards warily, not convinced that this wasn’t some kind of trick. He was very careful to not make any sudden movements and he crossed the hallway in the weighted silence. He didn’t relax even a fraction until he was standing in Clint’s cell and the bars were back in place.

“I’ll need a new tray,” Steve pointed out.

“I’ll alert room service,” the lead guard drawled before leading his posse back out of the hallway.

Steve let out a relieved sigh as they were left alone again and finally dropped his focus to Clint. He hadn’t moved much during the exchange, still sitting on the floor and hunched over his injured side. Steve crouched down next to him and reached out, placing a comforting hand lightly on Clint’s shoulder. Just with that small touch, Steve could feel the heat of the fever radiating off of Clint.

“Clint?”

His head was bowed and Steve couldn’t get a good look at his face. But Steve could hear him wheezing in shallow breaths, his muscles tense, so Steve was fairly certain that he was still at least semi-conscious even when he didn’t appear to acknowledge Steve’s presence.

“Okay, Clint, let me get a look at that wound,” Steve said lowly, gently pushing him back and helping him lay out flat on the floor of the cell. As he moved, Clint let out a low, shuddering groan. Steve winced in sympathy. “Sorry.”

He focused on Clint’s side. He had taken one of his socks and a strip from the bottom of his shirt to initially bind the wound in order to stem the bleeding. It hadn’t been ideal, but at the time it had been better than nothing. Steve gingerly probed the fabric and found that it was stiff with dried blood. Steve sighed. There wasn’t any way around it.

“Sorry, Clint,” Steve said. “This is going to hurt, but I gotta unwrap this.”

Clint’s eyes were half open, his gaze fogged and unfocused. He was fading fast.

Steve quickly got to work. The makeshift bandage was practically fused to Clint’s skin, and as Steve pulled at it, low moans and yelps crawled up Clint’s throat. Steve continued to apologize under his breath the entire time he worked. As he finally got a look at the wound, his stomach dropped as it looked even worse than he had expected. The entire area was an angry, painful red and the wound itself was wet with pus and exudate.

Steve ran a hand over his face. This was bad. This was so much worse than he had thought it was. And he had already thought it was pretty bad.

He took a deep breath. There wasn’t much he could do, but something was better than nothing. Steve rationed out the bandages and water, using a portion to clean out the wound as best he could. And then he packed the wound with the rest of the bandages, and tore a strip from his shirt in order to tie the bandages in place.

As he worked, another guard brought another tray. When he had finished doing what he could, he propped Clint up and coaxed him into drinking some water. Then he lay Clint back down on the ground in order to let him get some rest.

And as he watched Clint sleep fitfully, he knew that he couldn’t just sit here and wait for rescue. He had to do something, or Clint wasn’t going to make it.

The next day when the door scraped open, Steve was at the bars waiting. He lured the man with the trays closer to the bars and shot his hand through the bars, yanking the guard into the bars and setting off the electric shock in order to incapacitate him. He held him until the man lost consciousness. From there, he was able to carefully rifle through the man’s pockets and found a cell phone.

One phone call, and Steve was able to call in the team, who had thankfully been in the area searching desperately for them.

Even with all of that, Clint still almost didn’t make it. It was a close call, closer than anyone would be able to admit in the aftermath. The Avengers weren’t immortal. Sometimes they were just very, very lucky.

#whumptober2019 #fanfiction #fanfic #clint barton #hawkeye #Steve Rogers #captain america #Avengers #whump #altno.11

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dionysus-is-my-dude · 5 years ago

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i’m chronically ill...

fibromyalgia or multiple sclerosis? one is a documented autoimmune disease that eats away at the myelin sheath that covers your nerves, leading to nerve damage, vision loss, weakness in legs, even paralysis. the other is considered by SOME researchers ALSO an autoimmune disease that causes your brain to feel ALL THE PAIN, causing widespread pain and sleep problems.

thing is, they have so many overlapping symptoms that it wouldn’t surprise me if i had one or the other. i’ve already been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but what if it’s NOT? what if it’s MS and it’s gotten progressively worse over the last few years? which is why I feel worse and worse all the time? it feels like i’ve just been getting more and more exhausted, having to take naps and sleep for a long time to feel any kind of rested. i’m in pain a lot, but it sometimes just gets so much worse. i have a constant tension headache, but sometimes have migraines.

i haven’t seen a neurologist in a few years, and i envy the me back then who didn’t feel as crappy as i do now. i wish i wasn’t in so much pain. i wish i didn’t feel like i’ve been up for three days straight. i wish i didn’t have memory problems, or find it hard to concentrate on anything because i’m in so much discomfort.

i’m gonna try and contact a neurologist on monday to see if he’ll take me in. if it is just my fibromyalgia, then he can help me figure out what kind of diet, exercise, and therapy options there are for me. if he suspects it’s MS -he may just wanna rule it out-, he’ll send me to get an MRI and that’ll set me on the path to getting life changing help.

walking up stairs is hard. exhausting. i can sleep for ten hours WITH my cpap, and still feel like i stayed up all night. I get more and more tired as the day goes on, and find myself in more and more pain. i’m worried about if there’s damage being done to my body that no one knows about.

fibromyalgia is still having research done on symptoms, causes, and possible risks. as of right now, i haven’t found any research on it causing damage to my body or being fatal. but damn, it really is debilitating. the fatigue and pain and brain fog is just...terrible. i really wish i could just stay in bed where i’m more comfortable. or stay at home in the air conditioning, where i won’t overheat or have to lift heavy things and feel super weak.

i’m more active these days, and i’m even doing yoga. i don’t eat nearly as much fast food or junk food. i walk around the stand to even get SOME exercise -outside of lifting heavy crates, boxes, and watermelons. i get plenty of exercise at my other job, too. so why do i feel like my body is BREAKING DOWN? why do i feel worse than i did when i was pounds heavier? why do i feel like the simple process of cooking food is too hard for me? too mentally and physically exhausting to just cook something? why do i feel worse than i did just LAST YEAR? i just wanna feel normal.

#little rant #personal #chronic pain #chronic illness #fibromyalgia

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christinaroseandrews · 3 years ago

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If you want some valid reasons for people to refuse certain pain medications to use in your novel/story. I’ve got a buttload.

1. They are a recovering addict and the pain medication being offered is their addiction. At that point, they should be offered something else and be well supervised since for many recovering addicts standard OTC pain medication doesn’t work well.

2. The pain medication being offered is contraindicated due to either drug interactions or past medical history. I’m in this group. Some pain medications like Meloxicam and other long term pain management drugs cannot be taken with ANY other kind of Nsaid (Ibuprofen, Aleve, etc.) People who are on blood thinners cannot be given aspirin or Nsaids. While others, like myself, cannot be given Tylenol/Paracetamol/Acetaminophen due to liver response. Generally at this point the doctors find other methods or recommend knocking yourself out with things like Benadryl/prescription sleep aids.

3. The pain medication being offered doesn’t work. Some people, including myself, do not get the pain relief effect from Opioids. For some it has to do with receptors being turned off or “becoming tolerant.” For others, the place where the drug is processed is too efficient. (For me, it’s my liver. Any drugs that go through my liver are processed out super quickly. I also can’t get drunk.) So some people will refuse the drug because they’d rather not get the side effect without the benefit. Again if they are in a medical setting the doctor in question will generally try to find something else.

4. They have drug allergies. And some pain meds, particularly aspirin which is derived from the bark of the willow (which is a major allergen), have a high instance of allergy. Synthetics are generally less reactive but some people can be allergic to the fillers and not the drugs themselves. Again doctors will work with this and compounding pharmacies do exist.

5. They don’t know the provenance of the drug. Counterfeit/street made drugs are a real problem in the U.S. and in other countries. If they are in a situation where they don’t know if something is good or not, or if it’s like a post apocalyptic scenario and contamination is very real, sometimes that would be a valid reason to refuse the drug. Or if they’ve got allergies and they don’t know what’s in the drug and they’ve reacted before and they’re not able to read the ingredients. (I’ve done this last one.)

However, that said... if you are in a situation and a DOCTOR/Medical Professional is offering the drug it’s because the pain management is necessary for healing. Refusing the drug isn’t going to make you more competent, it’s going to delay healing and decent medical professionals will find ways to make sure you get the pain management you need.

As a side note, you want to know what also clouds your judgement? Pain. Your brain and body cannot think or function in pain. Pain is not fear leaving the body. Pain is the body telling you to stop doing the thing because it is causing damage. If you are in pain to the point where you’re being offered something more powerful than Acetaminophen, Nsaids, or other OTC drugs then there is a damned good reason. Pain relief can actually cause your brain to be able to function more effectively. You do not have the fuzziness or haze of being in constant pain clouding your ability to think. Being in pain slows reaction times much like sleep deprivation or alcohol impairment does. There is a reason that people with chronic pain often talk about their brains being in a fog and constantly being fatigued. That’s because it is exhausting to function while living in continual pain. This is why treating things like Migraine, Fibromyalgia, and other chronic pain conditions with effective drug pain care can cause people to be able to suddenly do things that they couldn’t before.

it’s not ableist to refuse pain medication for a valid reason. “It’s going to cloud my mind” is just not a valid reason. it’s also interesting that most of the characters who refuse pain medication tend to be AMAB heroes. Which leads into a whole buttload of toxic masculinity. Being in pain isn’t sexy. Being in pain actually makes it difficult to have sex. It’s distracting. Being in pain can make it difficult to get an erection for those penis-having heroes. For those vagina-having heroes, pain can lead to dryness and also distract from the pleasure. Even those who get off on pain with their pleasure have limits on what kind of pain is okay. Just something else I’m tossing out there. Note: I am a disabled, chronically ill, in chronic pain, currently going through cancer treatments, and facing/recovering from multiple surgeries (currently on surgery 3 of 4). I know my shit, and I’ve been talking with health care professionals about this a fuckload recently.

-taps mic- the whole MC going "no pain medication, I don't want to cloud my mind" trope is both ableist and shockingly popular for how plainly ableist it is

(protip: if you're at the point where you're being advised to take pain medication by people who don't want to give you pain medication then your mind is most certainly already clouded by pain)

#writing #on writing #discussion of ableism #discussion of tropes #writing characters #toxic masculinity #long post #cancer mention

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tinkeringwithcannabis · 6 years ago

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The First 90 Minutes Episode 12

Strain: Silver Kush (70/30S)

CBD: 2.95%. / THC: 21.47% / TAC: 24.42%

Dispensary: Liberty Cannabis / Holistic Industries

Dispensary Agent: David

Hello to all my cannabis loving and cannabis-curious friends, and welcome back to another episode of The First 90 Minutes! Today we are going to dive into another kick ass strain, Silver Kush. I purchased this strain from the Vitality collection at Liberty Cannabis in Somerville, Ma. According to Leafly.com and Allbud.com, this Sativa dominant hybrid is best suited for those battling depression, stress, fatigue, pain, nausea, chronic pain, eye pressure, inflammation, migraines, PTSD, PMS, and seizures. It is not a surprise that patients find an relief from an array of ailments with reported effects of happiness, the giggles, relaxation, euphoria, uplifted mood, increased focus, and bursts of creativity. Potential negatives to keep in mind with this strain are dry mouth, dry eyes, headache, dizziness, and paranoia.

Let’s kick this session off with the smell test. This bud packed a serious punch to my sinuses! Super strong earthy scent, followed by hints of citrus. Taking the bud taste test, the flavor of earthiness continues to overpower the hints of wood and citrus within this strain. I am going to be medicating today via Ooze glass blunt. I chose to medicate via glass blunt for this strain due to the very sticky, moist buds. Grinding up one bud, I can easily get about 2 to 3 small to medium sized bowls. Now it’s time to lite this bowl, sit back, and relax as we toke and talk about the first 90 minutes!

Starting this session off at 3:50 p.m. with two hits of the glass blunt, the effects seem to be coming on almost immediately. My muscles are relaxing, my stress is fading away, and my mind seems to be slightly fogging up. By 3:55 p.m. I am experiencing a strong head high with a very pleasant body high that feels like it’s working it’s way into every muscle in my body. I can feel my mood elevating, as is my energy level. I’m feeling chatty, and a little bit goofy as the cerebral buzz continues to increase.

At 4:05 p.m. the body relaxation has seeped into every muscle, but I feel so energetic and clear headed at the same time. With the increased energy, I also am experiencing a creative cerebral buzz. I’m feeling a case of the giggles coming on, and the chattiness has continued to increase. This seems like a very social strain thus far! I do not feel any anxiety or stress, and I’m encompassed by feelings of euphoria and happiness.

At 4:25 p.m. everything seems funny, even down to the dumbest jokes. My body has a really nice mellow buzz leaving me feeling calm and relaxed, yet without the couchlock. The body relaxation combined with the creative and energetic boosts have me in a mindset where working on pleasurable hobbies or hanging out with friends and family are excellent activities to participate in while using this strain. I feel very happy, very sociable, but my mind also feels pretty floaty. I will say that the focus on this strain is not exactly what I usually experience with an Sativa-dominant hybrid. In most cases the energy bursts and focused mindset leave me anxious when not putting this energy into a project. This is not the case with this product. Instead, it’s a cloudy, dream-like focus, but it adds to the level of fun this strain brings while in a social setting. I feel goofy, but not in an obnoxious way.

At 4:55 p.m. the giggly, happy, relaxed, and energetic buzz is still going strong. What is really nice about this strain is that it does not seem to cause me any anxiety. In most cases, high Sativa products make me a little anxious, especially if I don’t find a specific outlet, but not this this strain. My thoughts are slowed down to a peaceful level, and that dreamy mental state still persists. I am finding myself getting lost in the activities I engage in.

Conversations seem more fun, movies and TV seem to be drawing me in to a point where I find myself getting lost in the storyline. The one downside so far is that this level of focus is not something that would benefit me while working on important tasks. The mindset is too flighty to completely focus on anything that requires strong attention to detail. One effect I am loving is that despite the floaty/dreamy mindset, the high itself is very balanced. My head doesn’t seem overpowered by the body effects, or vice versa.

Hitting our 90 minute mark at 5:25 p.m., the happiness continues as the high begins to mellow out. As the strong, dreamy mindset seems to have decreased, my mind and body feel less stressed and very calm and relaxed. The chattiness has decreased, but I still feel social and anxiety free. With my mindset clearing up, my body feels like I took a muscle relaxer, leaving my body tension-free and my mood is still very uplifted.

Time for my final thoughts. I really enjoyed this strain. I found myself to feel happier, more social, and stress free. This is one Sativa-hybrid that I can honestly say would be great for fun, creative, and social situations, but that you could easily hunker down and take a nap on. I did not experience any anxiety, paranoia, headache, dizziness, or dry-eye. I did, however, experience some dry-mouth. That one negative aside, I definitely can understand how this strain would help with bodily pain and mental health struggles, such as depression.

Overall, I would say this strain exceeded my expectations in every area, with the exception of my level of focus. In most cases, I would feel motivated and driven on a 70/30 Sativa strain. This was not the case with this product, but I also did not feel I couldn’t get up if I needed to. Due to the lack of focus, this strain falls just short of the five stars it would have otherwise received. I would rate this strain at 4.8 stars, and it is something I would definitely keep on hand for day where I have plans to participate in social situations!

Well my friends, we have reached the end of this review. Thank you for joining me, and stay tuned for our next session as we toke and talk about a whole new strain and it’s effects over the first 90 minutes!

Disclaimer

*****Please remember, this blog is an account of my personal experience with this strain. Not everyone has the same experience with every strain, and that’s okay. I always recommend taking one to two hits at the most, and waiting at least forty-five minutes to see how the product effects you. Go low and slow, you can always take more if needed. ******

#cannabis #cannabislife #medical cannabis #medical marijuana #weed #weed smokers #marijuana photography #pot smokers #smoke a joint #smokeweeedeveryday #marijuana dispensary #veterans marijuana #marijuana strains #medical marijuana photography #cannabis patient #medical cannabis patient

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consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis · 6 years ago

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5 Things to Know About Dating Someone With Fibromyalgia

New blog post! Even though fibromyalgia is an invisible illness, it has some very visible effects on relationships and dating. So what should you expect when dating someone with fibromyalgia - or what realities should you expect to explain if you’re dating and you have fibromyalgia?

Considering that I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia at age 11, I’ve certainly learned from experience that I’m not a “normal” date - and that, sometimes, I need a little extra TLC in relationships. So today, I’m getting real about romance while chronically ill and talking about five things people should know about dating someone with fibromyalgia.

1. We have to cancel plans. Regularly.

I get it. No one likes it when someone constantly cancels plans. When you’re dating someone with fibromyalgia, though, expect that changes in plans will happen. We can go from feeling great to having a migraine that feels like our head will explode in just an hour, and sometimes that means we can’t do what we said we would.

So if you can be flexible and understanding with your plans, your date with fibromyalgia will seriously appreciate it. If you want, you can still offer to come over and do something more low-key than originally planned (like getting takeout and watching Netflix instead of eating out at a fancy restaurant). Just don’t be offended if we say no. In my experience, sometimes having company makes fibromyalgia flare ups a lot more bearable. Other times, I just want (and need) to be alone.

But the offer to help with our fibromyalgia pain any way you can is always appreciated. Just as much as we appreciate people taking our canceled plans in stride and knowing we canceled because of our chronic illness, not because we’re “flaky” or “anti-social” or want to avoid you.

2. We're always super excited for a massage.

Obviously, some people are more comfortable with being touched than others, so always ask before you decide to channel your inner masseuse! However, at least in my experience, people with fibromyalgia rarely turn down a back rub, foot massage or anything in between.

After all, even though we may not (want to) talk about it, we are in pain. All. The. Time. So when someone cares enough about me to ask how they can help and offer to rub my tight shoulders, that’s a big win in my book.

(Source)

If you’re looking for a way to show your chronically ill partner a little extra love, check out my article, 7 Random Acts of Kindness for Loved Ones with a Chronic Illness

3. We may need to avoid certain foods to feel our best.

Everyone with fibromyalgia is different, and so are people’s treatments for fibromyalgia. However, more and more research is connecting gluten and FODMAPs to fibromyalgia pain. I also know from personal experience that people with fibromyalgia can have certain edible “triggers” that increase fibromyalgia pain, like large amounts of corn for me. As a result, when you’re dating someone with fibromyalgia, you might also be dating someone with dietary restrictions. And that can be, well, frustrating when you want to eat at a certain restaurant but it’s not safe for your date or when you want to get your date an edible present but never know what he or she can actually eat.

But if you accept that we need to eat a certain way to feel our best, ask about our diet and help us eat deliciously with those restrictions, and make us feel like we’re not a “burden” for our dietary limitations...well, you will be GREATLY appreciated.

4. What we "can do" changes every day...and it can hurt to watch us hurting.

One of the hardest parts about living with fibromyalgia is how quickly our symptoms can change. Some days, we feel awesome...and then we overexert ourselves or eat something that doesn’t agree with us or just get unlucky, and we are stuck in bed or turned into a “fibro fog” zombie for days.

Even more frustrating than these changing fibromyalgia symptoms, though, is the powerlessness that you may feel as a significant other. Sometimes, nothing - no massages, special meals, ice packs, heat packs, etc. - helps with the pain. Sometimes, we cry because we’re hurting and it’s not fair and we just want to be “normal” for once! And seeing us hurting without being able to “fix” our pain can be, well, freaking hard.

I don’t have any magical coping mechanisms to share for seeing your date in pain. It’s a struggle I’ve witnessed in my parents (my mother has fibromyalgia), as well as in relationships of friends with fibromyalgia. And, of course, I’ve experienced it personally as well.

My biggest piece of advice is to know that this my-date’s-pain-hurts-me-too situation will happen if you love someone with fibromyalgia. It’s an inevitable result of loving someone in chronic pain. But you can control how you react to these feelings (i.e., by getting angry and blaming your date, or by acknowledging the cruddy situation and trying to still act out of love instead). And even if you can’t take away our pain, just knowing that you’re there for us - to watch Netflix, to cuddle in bed for hours, to just say, “This stinks but know I still care about you.” - when we’re at our lowest can make a big difference.

5. Having someone believe in us - and the realness of our invisible pain - is priceless.

Speaking of support...many people with fibromyalgia are used to not being believed when it comes to their chronic pain. We’re told that we “look normal” or we’re just “not trying hard enough to feel better” or our pain “can’t be that bad.”

So if you believe us when we say that we have an invisible illness that causes us to hurt almost every hour of every day? That’s pretty dang special.

As mentioned earlier, everyone with fibromyalgia is different and they may react differently to being asked for more details about what living with fibromyalgia is like. Personally, though, I’m grateful when people care enough to ask what a “regular” day of life with fibromyalgia feels like for me, what they can do to help me during a fibromyalgia flare, and more details about what fibromyalgia is in the first place.

For better or for worse, fibromyalgia is who we are. So if you love someone with fibromyalgia or are just dating a fibromyalgia warrior, knowing a little more about what this chronic illness is like can also help you understand us better as well. And if you love us on our good days and bad days, when we’re pain-free and when we’re taking painkillers like vitamins...we’ll love you for it.

Dating (Someone) With Fibromyalgia: The Bottom Line

The truth is, whether you’re the person with fibromyalgia or the person dating someone who has it, dating can be a little more complicated. A healthy, happy relationship can require a little extra flexibility, lots of honest conversations about how your chronic illness impacts your life, date night restaurants that can accommodate a special diet, and much more.

I firmly believe, however, that people do not have to be 100% healthy to be 100% worthy of love. Just like I believe that dating someone with fibromyalgia can have some hilariously accurate benefits (like the nine I list here).

Like this post? Tweet me some love by clicking here: "What should you know about dating someone with #fibromyalgia or dating while you have a #chronicillness? Read 5 things I want everyone to know about #fibro and #relationships here --> http://bit.ly/2LOf5AC #invisibleillness"

So if you’re dating someone with fibromyalgia and don’t know where to begin, just know this: we do need a few special accommodations because of our chronic illness but, at the end of the day, we’re just people. People looking for love...and excited to find someone worthy of giving ours to.

What else should people know about dating someone with fibromyalgia - or another chronic illness? How do you navigate dating with chronic illness? Tell me in the comments!

via Blogger https://ift.tt/2oEydYO

#Blogger #college #celiac #gluten free #coeliac #celiacs #paleo #primal #foodporn #foodart

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thelionshoarde · 7 years ago

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untitled; obiyuki fic

for obiyukimadness, accidental soulbond

if i don’t stop now i won’t ever stop and i have work to do today, so here, have a couple of scenes from a fic that i may never finish and which, if i do finish, will probably either be scrapped or changed beyond recognition, since the rest of what i’ve written more recently for this stupid thing is pretty different already

what you need to know: harry potter au, seventh year, obi super-sneaky cast a spell to bind zen and shirayuki together without their consent and, wonder of wonders, fucked it up, so now he and shirayuki are all tangled together and shirayuki NEEDS TO STUDY FOR N.E.W.T.S, OKAY?? also there are elements of non-con throughout because of obi’s stupid, stupid choices. (o shit yeah also: i gave ‘em last names)

A clap of thunder woke her from a dead, dreary sleep, and Shirayuki -- without opening her eyes and with a groan of instinctual dismay, heart hammering and wide-awake with a sickening lurch -- slapped her palm desperately at her headboard and her wand in its bolted holster above her pillows.

Merlin, but she wished there was a gentler way to wake herself up.

The silencing charm on her bed curtains, at least, ensured that none of her year mates would strangle her in her sleep. And Prickle was the type of kneazle who could sleep through the entire castle falling down around their ears, so the heavy, warm weight stayed content across Shirayuki’s ankles, attempting to lure her back to slumber with indecent amounts of purring.

Shirayuki, alone, suffered the horrendous alarm spell.

A shift of agitation -- muzzy and sleep-addled, like the buzz of distant wasps -- looped about her sternum, tugging.

“Well,” she told Prickle, rubbing at her eyes and shifting up onto her elbows. “If he didn’t want to be a morning person he should have thought for a moment and realized that casting a highly illegal, highly temperamental soulbond spell on two students who had not given their consent would backfire on him in epic proportions. He can deal.”

After all, the whole thing was his stupid fault.

The agitation mounted, tugging more firmly, and Shirayuki scowled beneath her palm. A headache throbbed at her temples, and she felt sick, shaky, weak. Not dissimilar to how she often felt woken so suddenly, on little sleep, still exhausted and worn from the mountainous work assigned her, but much, much worse and with a significantly more frustrating cause.

Reaching unsteadily for her wand, she forced her wrist to move into a smooth clockwise circle, and then cast, “Tempus,” on the sudden uptick. A clock face wavered into perfect existence atop her wand point, hour hand at four, minute hand at ten.

Nearly ten hours since she had last seen him, and considering the distance -- Hufflepuff Basement versus Ravenclaw Tower, could this possibly have been a worse combination -- between them, it --

Was getting worse.

Last week hadn’t been nearly so bad. But each day the spell pulled on them tighter and tight, cinching them inward, pushing them hard until they were plummeting deeper inside each other, until struggling out, away, apart, became an excruciating exercise.

How bad, she wondered, would this have to get before they fixed it? How many hours would they have before the side effects became unbearable? Exactly how close would they need to be, for how long?

Ugh, it was too early to dwell on it.

A wave of her wand dismissed the spell into a dissipating, pearlescent fog, and she gripped the length of applewood in her fist as though for comfort, rubbing at her chest where she could feel him curled tightly in annoyance, woken by her own slap-dash heartbeat and sudden startlement.

Probably, she should say sorry; should go back to sleep and head into the Great Hall at a later hour, let the ache and nausea and exhaustion abate with his presence; should, no doubt, not have skipped out on performing the second-half of the ritual to end this on the last new moon.

But she wouldn’t, because N.E.W.T.s waited for no witch, and it was all his own fault.

So instead Shirayuki was going to get up, escape from the comforting weight of Prickle, and the soft glide of her warm duvet, and she was going to get dressed, and make certain that her robes were not on inside-out this time, and then Shirayuki was going to get some studying done, and to hell with Obi Karasu and this stupid, stupid soulbond.

If the agitation prickling along the barrier of her ribs eased, soothed, turned rueful and fond in response to whatever involuntary feelings of apology and guilt Shirayuki may or may not have felt at waking him up at 4:50 in the morning, then she just sniffed, annoyed, and ignored it, because she wasn’t going to say she was sorry, and if he knew that she was then that was cheating and did not count.

“This sucks,” Shirayuki told Prickle, who opened one glittering green eye and yawned, teeth gleaming, plumed tail twitching, and entirely without sympathy.

Quidditch.

Stupid, stupid quidditch.

Slumped in an armchair in the library hours later, Shirayuki glared blearily at the quill clenched between her fingers. The ink on the nib had long since dried, and Yuzuri, at this point, had both elbows on the table, chin cradled between her palms, watching her with interest.

“You know...”

“I do, actually, know a lot of things,” Shirayuki interrupted desperately. “What I do not know is how I’m going to get any work done if he insists on flying about every morning.”

Yuzuri snorted. “It is quidditch season, you know. And he is their best player.”

“He’s just a beater,” Shirayuki complained, glum. “Maybe if he was a chaser then I’d understand. Or seeker, even! But he just -- hits things --”

“Mm, yes,” Yuzuri grinned. “And he does it very well.”

Groaning, Shirayuki finally released her quill and allowed herself to slump forward onto the parchment that was meant to be twenty-three inches of Potions essay, and was, instead, mostly just staggered blotches and emptiness. Merlin, but her head ached. There wasn’t much, she thought, that she wouldn’t do for the kind of migraine that could be cured by just going to the infirmary.

But no. It could only be cured in one way.

And just -- what the hell was wrong with him?

Didn’t he know how stupid it was to be on a team during Seventh Year? He should have been focusing only on N.E.W.T.s, he should have been studying, not hundreds and hundreds of feet up in the air, dizzying heights, far above her and out of reach, their bond pulling and tugging, straining worse than it did with the entire distance of the castle between them.

What an idiot.

“I think I hate him,” she wailed, voice muffled by the crook of her elbow as she buried her face in her arms. “I am so tired.”

Yuzuri patted her head gently, hesitated, and then plucked at Shirayuki’s hair. “You should really put this up in a ponytail,” she tutted. “You’ve got a bad case of bed head, Shirayuki. I meant to tell you. You can’t go see him looking like this.”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Shirayuki whimpered.

“Then do so elsewhere, please. I’ll watch your stuff, so just go. You know it won’t get any better until you do.”

Unfortunately, that was true. Because of the stupid bond Shirayuki had to give up valuable studying time to hunt down Karasu by the Hufflepuff dorms so she could snag him after quidditich practice. When he was all sweaty, and flushed, and encased in leather padding, and...

Ugh. This was the worst.

“Well, now you just look down-right flustered,” Yuzuri commented when Shirayuki finally leveraged herself back upright, waving her wand at Shirayuki pointedly. “You look like you could use --”

“A hug,” Shirayuki said, voice flat, and refusing to acknowledge the flush that wanted to burn her cheeks.

“Sure,” Yuzuri winked. “If you wanna call it that.”

Ten minutes later Shirayuki was stumbling past the portrait that led to the kitchens towards the cluster of barrels that disguised the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room. She was practically one with the wall by the time she got there, and let herself slump into a defeated lump on the floor to wait.

“I want a nap,” she told the empty corridor sadly.

It was all well and good that Yuzuri could joke about Shirayuki getting some, but the truth of the matter was that the side effects of that stupid spell Obi had performed were awful. The migraine was a pulsing agony, her vision slick and blurred, white lights and nausea to the point of vomiting. If she could have convinced her sluggish body to go any faster she would have, but she couldn’t.

The real kicker, though, was how sluggish her brain felt. Mental exhaustion was the worst of the side effects in Shirayuki’s opinion. She had N.E.W.T.s to conquer. A mental hiatus for any length of time was too long.

Despite the truly impressive amount of work she’d gotten done last new moon, Shirayuki did, indeed, deeply regret not finishing the ritual needed to break the soulbond spell. She just hadn’t realized how pervasive this spell would become. How incredibly, absolutely consuming, and impossible to ignore.

Next time, she promised. Next time I will not forget!

But in the meantime, she supposed it wasn’t such a bad thing if she just closed her eyes. Just for a moment. Karasu wasn’t going to show up any sooner just because she kept her eyes open, after all, so there was no point in bothering. She’d just...rest. A little.

And if she fell asleep listening to the fast-paced beat of another heart echoing inside her chest, well, no one had to know.

Shirayuki woke up when another body slumped down to the floor beside hers, almost close enough to touch.

“Mornin’,” Obi grinned, looking weary. There were bruises beneath his eyes, and his skin looked pale, soured. Even his eyes were glassy, too-yellow when usually they were a bewildering blend of darkened topaz and rich honey and pale gold. A bead of sweat lingered on his brow. “You look like shit, Akagi.”

“Touch me,” she said.

“Holy -- shhh, jesus fuck, Akagi!” Nervous, Obi darted his gaze around the hallway, but he must have waited to wake her until the rest of his teammates had gone inside, and there was no one in the hallway to have heard.

Honestly, Shirayuki wasn’t certain she would have cared if there had been.

“Touch me,” she ordered, voice slurred with sleep and pain, and lifted up her arm to offer her hand. It trembled, slightly.

Grumbling, Obi pulled off his quidditch glove and, after only a small hesitation, laid his palm against hers. Instantly, relief swelled through Shirayuki. It doubled as she caught the ricochet from Obi, the two of them overlapping, mingling, pressing into each other too intimately. “Ohhh,” Obi groaned, leaning the back of his head against the stone wall and rocking it there, eyes closed, an expression of agonized bliss on his face.

Shirayuki bit her lip, trying not to think of Yuzuri’s suggestion. Trying not to think about anything other than how much she needed to get back to the library as soon as touching Obi stopped being as necessary as breathing.

“It’s like a fucking drug,” Obi complained. “Complete with body-wrecking withdrawals. I almost fell off my broom today, Akagi.”

Shirayuki frowned.

“Don’t,” Obi said, scrunching up his nose and refusing to open his eyes to look at her. “Ugh, I can feel your worry, all right, and your disdain for our practice sessions, stop it, that’s enough. What do you have against quidditch, anyway?”

“Nothing. It’s just -- distracting.”

Distracting, like the low-burn of arousal she felt from Obi every time the pain went away, a knee-jerk reaction. Like the horniness he carried with him every day, all the time, because he was seventeen and hungry and it was ruining Shirayuki’s life, because before this she had had control of her hormones, she had been better than this, damn it.

“You are so weird, Akagi, I don’t even know where to start." Obi sighed, lashes fluttering as he forced his eyes to open and remain so. “C’mon, we gotta go before any one comes by and sees us. Do you -- No, wait. I’m starving, actually. Have you eaten?”

Shirayuki admitted, “No. I didn’t want to loose it when the side effects set in. And I need coffee. Lots of coffee.”

Laughing, Obi went to his feet. Their fingers were linked, locked, never letting go. Shirayuki was tugged up with him, helpless to do anything but follow him down the sort distance to the entrance to the kitchens, basking in the way their momentary contentedness layered, sweet and soft.

No stranger to the kitchens -- late night study sessions in Ravenclaw common room necessitated copious amounts of snack food, after all, and Shirayuki had done her due diligence in retrieving it at three in the morning -- Shirayuki tickled the appropriate pear, grasped the resulting door knob giggling against her palm, and led them inside.

“Oh! Obi Karasu, sir! You has come again!”

Shirayuki’s forward march to a cleared space at one of the long, rough hewn tables bisecting the massive, high-ceiling room was brought to an abrupt halt. For a moment, Shirayuki thought about twisting her hand out of Obi’s grip. Most of the side effects of the spell had eased, though relief still shivered beneath her skin at the prolonged contact. But it was enough to get by; she could have easily escaped.

Sighing, she turned toward the house-elf quivering before them, and summoned up a smile, made all the more easier for the throb of fond affection Obi felt, suffusing her with an indulgence she might otherwise not have found without coffee.

“Now, Bonky,” Obi started, voice warm and curled through with amusement, “You know I couldn’t possibly stay away from you. How’s it been going?”

“Oh, Master Obi! We is just fine, just fine!” The house-elf, knee-high, with large, gleaming eyes and a neat, pale-yellow shawl wrapped about his little body, grinned fit to split his face. “Master Obi is too kind to ask after such as us, sir.”

“Is that so?” Obi asked, sounding convincingly surprised; but Shirayuki felt the frission of helplessness and frustration course through him, there then gone, and turned to look at him. Obi glanced back, eyes all honey-glaze and secrets. He looked back at the house-elf, but Shirayuki lost the thread of the conversation, thinking: he always did have a lot to say about house-elf rights in History, didn’t he?

Shuffling closer, Shirayuki took a deep breath in, let it out, and leaned against Obi’s side, arm to arm. He shifted beneath her weight, and she felt the sharp, bright note of his surprise before Bonky pulled him back into conversation.

Eventually, Bonky released them to be fed.

A veritable army of house-elves saw the two of them seated at a table near the massive fire, and a small spread of the breakfast mirrored above in the Great Hall had been set out for them. The crush of sound was almost comforting. The clang of copper pots and the thwock of knives, ladles ringing, dishes being washed eased the heightened, too-aware silence between them as they muddled through the indignity of eating one handed.

Shirayuki thought about being embarrassed. Thought about being horrified that handsome, clever, popular Obi Karasu was watching her get cream on her cheeks and nose, golden flaky bits of pastry all over her robes and sweater. Thought Yuzuri, at least, would be mortified at the way she shoved food into her mouth, heedless, reckless, without grace or poise or manners.

She had seen him far worse, after all, and that when they had been little more than acquaintances; when he had been Zen’s friend, an irritation on her peripheral that was too loud, too bright, too boisterous, glittering gold and shifting shadow, secret darkness too deep and treacherous to ever risk the venture.

And then Obi had wrenched that choice away.

So she stuffed herself full, uncaring, her fingers shifting, sliding, catching against his, their knuckles grazing the rough wood of the bench, pulling and tugging and readjusting, and never, ever letting each other slip.

Obi Karasu could deal with her, all of her, every single improper part of her.

He had no one but himself to blame, after all.

Later, after they’d each eaten their fill, Shirayuki said, voice low: “They’re quite fond of you.”

“Hm?”

“The house-elves,” Shirayuki clarified with a faint smile, watching him steadily.

Obi grimaced, free hand cupped around a chilled goblet of pumpkin juice while he straddled the wide bench, his thighs -- still strapped into all-too-enticing, corrugated leather protective gear -- flexing as he shifted forward. Shirayuki sipped from her own hefty mug of sweetened coffee in a helpless bid to moisten her suddenly dry mouth.

Quidditch uniforms were the worst.

“House-elves have always been pretty fond of Hufflepuffs,” Obi dismissed. “And I mean. I’m not a part of S.P.E.W. or anything, which I think they appreciate. It’s not like I do anything in particular, I’m just, you know, naturally charming and awesome.”

“You treat them with respect,” said Shirayuki, and she opened her mouth to say more -- that he treated them better than most humans, like sentient beings deserving of affection and equality, like friends, and that it was all the more important for being a conscious choice -- but she felt the twist of his agitation and discomfort sharp in her gut, and let it go.

“I’ve never been to the Hufflepuff common room.”

“The Basement?” Obi asked, surprised. “No? Huh, that’s right. You Ravenclaws don’t really party much.” He grinned, a bright gleam of white teeth against dark skin. “Pity, we’ve got some good party favors. I would totally get you high, Akagi, you’d love it.”

If Shirayuki was very, very lucky, Obi took the hot, vibrant burst of arousal in her gut at his stupid, perfect grin as anger. She muttered into her coffee, “That is a waste of valuable studying time. Really, Obi, we’re in our Seventh Year.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Obi said, rolling his eyes. Between them, their clasped hands shifted, awkward, uncertain. “Anyway, wanna come with? I can show you.”

“I should really get back to the library.”

“Oh, my god,” Obi groaned, tipping his head back. Shirayuki stared at his throat, frustrated. In her chest her heart beat fast, hard, and she saw the moment it echoed in Obi’s because he started, chin coming back down with his brows raised up in question.

He decided, “Yeah, no, you need a break, Akagi. If you spend any more time in that library you’re going to actually become a fixture there, permanently, and then you won’t ever get to do anything with all that knowledge you’re hoarding.”

“No,” she said, and watched the way Karasu moved beneath the surge of her emotion, the roiling morass of half-thought, visceral reaction; the sting of irritation, the hot buzz of anger, the helpless drip of desire and how much Shirayuki hated feeling that way.

“I need,” she tried, again, swallowing hard, “to go back and study. Yuzuri is waiting for me. But --”

Obi wasn’t looking at her. He was looking down at their joined hands, and she could see the shift of his jaw as he clenched his teeth, the furrow between his brows; could feel him in her veins, a black tide -- regret, shame, acceptance -- that threatened to drown before pulling back.

“We do need to talk about this,” Shirayuki admitted. With a sigh, she slipped her hand free from his. “We -- the new moon isn’t for another two weeks, and we can’t go on like this, right? Pretending like nothing is happening and then almost -- almost falling off of brooms, really. So we... We’re going to set up a plan, a -- a schedule, or something. So I’ll see you later, Karasu.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, slipping from the bench and standing, stretching, as if he hadn’t a single care, as if this was nothing at all. When Obi’s voice got sharp and flat, like a smooth sheet of tin, Shirayuki could hear the emotion strike off it like raindrops on a roof. He thought he was subtle. He was not subtle.

Honestly, it was endearing and stupid. He was endearing and stupid.

Shirayuki didn’t fight the surge of affection that got stuck in her throat, and huffed a sigh at the way his eyebrow twitched, feeling it. “You’re a menace,” she complained. “And I need to study. Don’t you need to study?”

“Eh,” said Obi, rocking back on his heels. He was waffling, now, confused by the swift change of her emotion, of the back-and-forth. She was exhausted, confused, furious.

None of this was fair. She hadn’t asked for this. For Obi in his stupid, sexy quidditch uniform, stretched lean and long and rippling before her, still sweat-damp and beautiful, and --

Eventually, Shirayuki realized she was staring because Obi was staring back, jaw dropped a little with surprise.

It was the surprise, really, that jerked Shirayuki away from her hormones. Irritation welled up in her, warring with the need to lick the sweat off Obi’s collar bones and neck until he was shaking beneath her, gasping, and --

A blush suffused his skin, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Did he have to look so surprised that she found him attractive? Really? What was she, a rock?

“You need to leave,” Shirayuki huffed, shoving at her fringe. “I mean it. I don’t have time for --” she waved her hand at him, fluttering it in the air in disgust, “-- this.”

His heart flipped in her chest -- lub-da-lub -- and --

“Right,” Obi babbled, edging toward the door out of the kitchen, sounding wildly confused by what he was reading off of Shirayuki’s emotions. “I’m gonna -- study, too, I guess, if just so you’ll stop nagging me? And shower. Cause I must stink. Rank, right? I left practice as soon as we hit ground to find you and so -- I, uh, sweat. Stink. Shower!”

“Go,” Shirayuki managed, before her stupid sex drive could quite finish latching onto Obi showering.

this thing wants to be some weird mash-up of angst and comedy or some weird shit and also apparently i really want to spend too much time talking about how badly shirayuki hates her father because i really think teenage shirayuki in an environment like this would not be quite so cool with daddy being awol, and there is just, a lot of things that are cropping up that i’m tripping along behind too slowly to keep up with, so yeah, we’ll see if anything else ever comes of this, HOPE YOU HAD SOME FUN THOUGH, i figured the least i could do was save the silly pervy-esque bit for you guys /thumbs up??

#obiyukimadness #accidental soul bond #obiyuki #the other hp au #my fic #ans

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nerdymedzebra · 5 years ago

Photo

@CCI Group

I just realized that I never posted my images in here! I'm going to an Eagles Syndrome ENT on Monday bc i noticed on my CT scans that my jugulars seem compressed, so I'm looking at my images again. I got all this imaging done for CCI through my GP but haven't actually had anyone look at them yet besides me.

Few of my symptoms seem severe compared with others, but added all together I'm a mess, but I don't know what's from what. You can skip (or skim, i bolded the important points!) it unless you think they'd be relevant:

(Some) Symptoms:

Dysautonomia (I can't be on my feet long at all, esp. if i'm standing still, + countless other dys. symptoms (including tachycardia but not POTS). A PT last year did manual work on my very painful and felt-crooked-and-smooshed-down neck & my presyncope SIGNIFICANTLY lessened, but now worsening again. All these images except the supine MRI were done after that.

brain fog/brain "shutting down" & exacerbation of my existant ADHD. My cognitive issues are my worst part, bc they don't calm down when I sit.

My neck at the CCJ hurts a lot, frequently, and, if relevant at all, my thoracic spine is always in pain, tho sometimes worse than others. I have "abnormal curvature of the spine", but not outright scoliosis.

I sometimes get pressure headaches that seem to happen the same days my vision goes blurry. Often the pain will stab through the back of my left eye. Sometimes I get SUPER sensitive to any sensory input and I have suspected "silent migraines" for a while. Tinnitus like WHOA. Especially the wooshy kind.

All my muscles are always constantly SUPER tight and achy. Sometimes i've felt myself lifting out of the passenger seat in a car because my leg/butt muscles are so tight. Everyday is a constant struggle to try to consciously force them to relax and even then it's so hard. In fact my neck muscles are so tight they've been causing significant, awful, crushing feeling against my trachea lately.

My top vertebrae feel like they slide forward too much. & When I flip up side down from the waist and let my thoracic vertebrae go THUNK THUNK THUNK back into place (idk whats up with that either) one of my cervical vertebrae punches me in the throat! & I also have vocal cord dysfunction, throat/sinus swelling

My right ear gets really warm/liquidy and it/the area of my neck below it gets super pressurey feeling.

I can't lift my arms above my shoulders for even a few seconds without angering the nerves & the blood feeling like it immediately drains.

Sleep apnea (effort related OSA, + 8 central apnea events -- then MANY unknown reasons) & insomnia

I'm sure there are other ones too but I usually group a lot of stuff in with dysautonomia, and also I forget a lot.

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chronicallyjude · 4 years ago

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Sorry to bother you, I've been following you for a few months and I've noticed you always say you're in pain. What are you experiencing exactly? Is it something mental that leads to physical pain (because same here) or it's just unlocalized pain? Both? If this question bothers you, you can absolutely not answer and I apologize. Hopefully some doc will be able to help you.

Oh boy you're going to be sorry you asked.

I do have anxiety and depression that causes me some very down days but my problem is mostly physical.

I get wicked migraines that take me out for a while ( currently I'm on day 2 of a very bad one) which we think is caused by a mild chiari melformation and stress but we don't know what to do about it.

I also get terrible stomach pains when I eat pretty much anything. I had my gallbladder removed and a colonoscopy but we don't know why it hurts so much I could just be allergic to a lot of things and it's super expensive to buy food that doesn't have anything "bad" in it.

My biggest problem is that I have really bad muscle and joint pain like everyday it hurts to walk and to sit. my knees pop, my wrists and hands are always kind of numb and painful I also have ribs that like to slip out all the freaking time. My face hurts and I get brain fog all the freaking time.

I was diagnosed as fibromyalgia about a year ago and low B12 about a month ago. Now I'm expected to call it a day but since I've gotten so much worse and diagnosed with several other issues I just keep getting tested and going to doctor's where the tell me they just don't know what's going on.

Tldr: I have a shitty body and a shitty mind that no one can figure out but it's getting worse, I'm really tired of doctors and life at this point.

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clowncartardis · 5 years ago

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Lol I did start this blog to talk about Health Issues so here goes

Stayed awake for 36 hours and then crashed. Missed class. Feel like myself now but it's midnight so idk when I'm gonna sleep. Took that mood stabilizer which makes me sleepy but also crave pastries. Psychiatrist is on Friday, so we'll see what he says. I'm still feeling very energetic but unfocused and miserable. Not energetic and able to do my homework.

Saw the dietician, which was a mixed bag. She's familiar with a lot that I have going on. She wanted to address Just The Health Issues in our first session and to touch the emotional stuff next time but all of her Health Suggestions are REALLY FREAKING ME OUT so that's irresponsible of her. She did validate that I have low b12 and that if I'm on metformin I should be supplementing—and that it was negligent of my endo to not check my b12 when prescribing a medication KNOWN to cause this issue to someone with pre-existing fatigue/depression/insomnia/pain. B12 supplement arrives on Saturday, which I'm so excited about. She also complimented me on already taking a D supplement, since no one does that, lol. I'm her first patient to have good levels of vitamin D.

But then her dietary suggestions were ehhh. I told her I want to do either the FODMAP or low histamine diet for the issues I'm having (constant migraines, constant stomach issues, constant pain and fatigue, mind fog, post nasal drip, mood issues). But that I can't do anything drastic until after my allergy tests and endoscopy/colonoscopy are done. She sort of accepted that, but wants me to:

Eat around 100 grams of carbs a day and to go gluten and dairy free (assuming the endoscopy/colonoscopy is not happening, since obviously I need to be reacting).

But like. I had a colonoscopy/endoscopy when I was 15. I JUST had scratch allergy tests for food and wheat didn't show up. I don't have celiac. I probably don't have celiac? It's super unlikely I have celiac. I've reduced dairy bc of lactose intolerance but I was gluten free for FIVE YEARS and it made me miserable and food-anxious and I don't want to do it again if there's no medically necessary reason!! I guess I need to clarify with her if it's part of an elimination diet or if she just thinks Gluten Is Bad, For Some Reason.

And then 100 grams of carbs is so little!! I'm not diabetic. I don't want to be low-carb? I don't want to eat less than 2000 calories a day! I have a history of disordered eating and keeping track of my carbs seems like a BAD IDEA versus just what I'm eating/how I feel for medical elimination diet purposes. I don't want to feel guilty when I eat chocolate or if I have a cookie or if I eat pasta or have a pb&j because I feel sick and tired and need to eat SOMETHING! This is very scary to me! 100 grams of carbs is really low. I looked it up and it's low! 150 is more normal for a low calorie diet, and even then that's still considered low calorie. So like. Yeah. I can cut out some amount of carb—I don't think more animal protein and vegetable is bad for me—but also I don't think super low carb is necessarily good for me because I eat and then I'm still hungry? I had burgers with sautéed onions and apple tonight but I think I need to go eat some rice because my stomach is growling, I feel dizzy, and I only ate 2 hours ago. She didn't tell me what to eat really, besides like... More peanut butter? The Mediterranean diet? Antioxidants? Ferments? A lot of antioxidant rich foods are SUPER HIGH in histamine and are also migraine triggers. So are ferments.

I did ridiculous diets from the age of 12-19 because my family joined the Weston A. Price Foundation and then I did the GAPS diet at 16 and then some other weird cleansy thing and then was gluten free but I couldn't eat processed gluten free things and then I said fuck it once I was in college for a semester and I have been trying to intuitively eat since then. The plus side is that I know how to cook really well. The down side is I have a lot of food anxiety (I don't want to label it as either ED-NOS or orthorexia, but either one might apply).

Anyway I get to be preoccupied with food and that's fun.

#Food tw #Eating disorder tw #Diet tw #Chronic health tag #Uhhhh

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cristinajourdanqp · 7 years ago

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I Went From Having an Invisible Illness, Being Overweight, Depressed and Tired To Enjoying Robust Health!

It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. I’ll continue to publish these each Friday as long as they keep coming in. Thank you for reading!

Looking back, I have always had thyroid issues though I had no idea what that meant in my teens and twenties. It apparently runs in my family, though with rural Alaska medical care in the 70s, you were lucky to have a doctor available, let alone a dentist. Even as I grew older and moved to the city and then to college in Arizona and life in many other places, I was always just not well. Though I managed to live and work and play fairly normally, I would occasionally have days that I could not get out bed, so I attributed it to depression or other more readily identifiable causes like depression.

I eventually married and went through two pregnancies in my early 30s, fairly normal and with healthy babies. After my second child, my mental and physical health really started going downhill, though it wasn’t really visible other than weight gain and some fairly severe post-partum depression. With the benefit of hindsight and research, what was probably mild Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis in my youth turned into full-blown Hashimoto’s after the stress of pregnancy, childbirth, nursing and raising two small children.

I was officially diagnosed in 2006 with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis after a therapist I was seeing for depression thought to order some tests. My levels weren’t that high, and I don’t even remember what the endocrinologist said to do about it, just that I had it and it had to do with my thyroid, and that someday my thyroid would fail and I’d be put on medication. He advised eating better and exercising, but with no specific plan. Ok. I just went about my life in the usual way, raising two small kids and easing my way back into the working world while doing all of the usual life things of home maintenance, the kids’ sports and school schedules, marriage, work and other family obligations. The Internet wasn’t that prevalent then, and I just accepted my diagnosis and prognosis and went about my life the best I could.

The years went by and I gained more and more weight. I would “diet” occasionally, have a little bit of success, then fall right off the wagon. I’d tried all of the fad diets, Weight Watchers, etc., and even went sugar-free and even gluten-free a few times in the past with great results, but again, fell off the diet wagon every time. I had been active most of my life with running, college intramural sports, tennis, hiking, long-distance biking, canoeing, camping—nothing ever really stopped me from being active, even being overweight or tired through most of it. I even put myself through almost three P-90X workouts in a row (shoutout to Mark Sisson for his episode – little did I know he’d be so instrumental to my life later….). My weight didn’t budge, though I got some nice muscle under my chub. I thought I was eating fairly well at that time, too, low fat, whole grains—the usual “good diet.” At the beginning of the third cycle of hard-core exercise, plus moving some furniture, I herniated a disc in my back and that put an end to P90X and extreme exercise.

In the meantime, I was getting sicker and I didn’t understand why. I was 50 pounds heavier than my normal pre-pregnancy weight. I was depressed, moody, lethargic, overweight, exhausted, and I always felt like I should just try harder to find the right medication to take care of it, or cut out the fats, or just exercise more. It seemed like each day was a monumental effort to get through, and I know I missed out on a lot of activities with my kids when they were little.

By 2013 my diagnoses were:

Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. This is an auto-immune disorder where your immune system attacks the thyroid, which untreated can lead to multiple issues and eventual thyroid gland failure.

Bipolar disorder and depression/anxiety. The manic-depression was actually the hypothyroidism/hyperthyroidism that characterizes

Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, but I didn’t know that at the time so I went on multiple and many medications over the years, thinking that nothing was working for me and this is how it was and would be for me forever.

Migraines and headaches. This entailed emergency room visits and even a brain MRI. I went to a neurologist and was put on a migraine medication that ultimately gave me kidney stones, two of which had to be surgically removed. The medication didn’t help at all so I eventually gave up on it and since then, no more kidney stones! An expensive experiment. Now, if I have a gluten exposure—instant migraine and the root cause of them.

GERD, bile disorder and esophagitis. I was put on a medication and at my first out-of-pocket charge of $400 for the med, I decided I’d go with the heartburn instead. I’d had bloating and discomfort for years, and did the usual OTC meds for that. An EGD thankfully showed no celiac disease but did show chronic inflammation.

Asthma and chronic bronchitis requiring an inhaler

Chronic fatigue

Restless leg syndrome

Hyperlipidemia

Osteoarthritis, joint pain and stiffness

Chronic tendinitis in wrists

Adult acne

Early menopause at age 40

Brain fog

Around this time I had also lost half of my hair—thankfully I have thick hair so it still looked ok even though it was falling out in clumps.

For seven long years I went to the endocrinologist, got my thyroid (TSH) level tested and was always told it was “normal.”

In August 2013, after my last visit to the endocrinologist who had “managed” my Hashimoto’s for seven years, I finally hit the wall with my frustration over not being able to control my own body. I had had my first full-blown panic attack around this time as well. My medical record states the doctor actually thought it “was unlikely patient has significant thyroid disorder.” My TPOAb (Hashimoto’s marker) was 629.5 IU/ml (normal is to just eat right and exercise more and wait until my thyroid failed and then be put on medication. I even begged to be put on Armour NDT or something to just try it, even though my TSH was normal. He refused. I fired him and, at the end of my rope, finally got on the internet where I found the book I felt saved my life, “Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis: Lifestyle Interventions for Finding and Treating the The Root Cause” by Dr. Izabella Wentz, which had just been published. Finally, someone who had suffered like me!

I jumped right in to the Hashimoto’s protocol—which is basically Primal, and though it was a super hard transition off the SAD and meds, I lost 20 pounds in the first 21 days and over the next three months, lost 25 more, and never looked back. I gave up gluten, grains, started eating way more fat and vegetables, minimal fruits, got off all of my medications and resolved almost all of my health problems, in particular the depression—it’s amazing to live without it! Without reading The Primal Blueprint (until a bit later), my diet and lifestyle had evolved to fit the model of ancestral health naturally.

During the initial transition, I had gathered all of my medical records, made a summary of them chronologically, made a spreadsheet of my labs and discovered by myself that while I have always had “normal” TSH levels, I don’t convert T4 into the more usable T3, and my symptoms fit that profile. I found a holistic leaning CNP that agreed with my diagnosis and was willing to prescribe the proper NDT medication to address this and literally 20 minutes after taking the first dose, my anxiety, which had reached panic attack levels, disappeared. I now know that when my anxiety creeps up, it’s time for a thyroid medication adjustment.

I eventually read Elle Russ’ Paleo Thyroid Solution, which is a great resource for thyroid sufferers and explained a lot of what I was going through. I do still have the occasional Hashimoto’s flare days, when I simply cannot get out of bed, but it’s down to 1-2 times a year—and usually after I’ve let non-Primal foods into my diet. A far cry from being how I lived my life on a daily basis. It took ten years from diagnosis and many endocrinologists, naturopaths, nurses and internists later, but I finally have found an integrative medical doctor who helps me with the right medical care for Hashimoto’s. I was gratified at our first intake appointment that she did not change one thing about my diet which was already Primal! She commented on my robust health and I was never more proud of myself for getting myself from my sickest days to the point of actual robust health!

Today, after my all time high of 213 lbs, I keep my body at a comfortable 165 lbs (I’m 5’5” and age 49). My Hashimoto’s is stable and after initially cutting my levels in half by eating primally, I go a bit up and down and now rely on my physical and mental states to determine how well I’m controlling it through my food plan. I don’t have a CrossFit-type body, but I do have a body that takes me through my days without pain or suffering, as long as I stick to the Primal way. I no longer have depression, anxiety, GERD, acne, my hair grew back, I sleep like a champ and my brain fog is better but not all gone—hey, I’ll be 50 this year, what can I say! My weight, despite four back surgeries for disc herniations, a labral tear repair in my hip, a broken ankle and a shoulder surgery (the osteoarthritis still rears its ugly head), has remained stable at 165 lbs since 2013. Even when I am unable to exercise, I maintain my weight, mood and general good health simply by eating and living Primally. Today, I enjoy riding my bike, walking my dogs, working out at my property mowing grass, hauling logs and brush and doing simple Primal workouts in my basement. I have a goal of someday being super muscle-y but since I feel so much better than I did before, I’m ok with my body now. My clothes always fit and I can live and do what I want to physically, and that’s more than enough for me.

My children are now 19 and 16, growing up and moving on with their lives, and with extra time on my hands I started looking into being a health coach. I’d followed many “diets” related to primally eating—mostly the Hashimoto’s Protocol, the Bulletproof Diet, the Whole30 plan, the Auto Immune Protocol plan and Paleo among others—but truly, the lifestyle I developed and live dovetails totally with the Primal Blueprint—I was living it before I really even knew about it! My heritage is Inuit/Alaskan Eskimo so it makes complete sense now that I live best on fats, meats and vegetables and berries! I know this lifestyle works for me and am excited to share it with others like me, who have suffered needlessly with auto-immune disorders that aren’t treated properly. I know you can take your health into your own hands and live the way nature intended – PRIMALLY! I recently became certified as Primal Health Coach and am living proof that good health can be had with minimal effort and suffering and I’m excited to begin my journey of helping others to robust health!

Want to make fat loss easier? Try the Definitive Guide for Troubleshooting Weight Loss for free here.

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milenasanchezmk · 7 years ago

Text

I Went From Having an Invisible Illness, Being Overweight, Depressed and Tired To Enjoying Robust Health!

By 2013 my diagnoses were:

Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. This is an auto-immune disorder where your immune system attacks the thyroid, which untreated can lead to multiple issues and eventual thyroid gland failure.

Bipolar disorder and depression/anxiety. The manic-depression was actually the hypothyroidism/hyperthyroidism that characterizes

Asthma and chronic bronchitis requiring an inhaler

Chronic fatigue

Restless leg syndrome

Hyperlipidemia

Osteoarthritis, joint pain and stiffness

Chronic tendinitis in wrists

Adult acne

Early menopause at age 40

Brain fog

Around this time I had also lost half of my hair—thankfully I have thick hair so it still looked ok even though it was falling out in clumps.

For seven long years I went to the endocrinologist, got my thyroid (TSH) level tested and was always told it was “normal.”

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watsonrodriquezie · 7 years ago

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I Went From Having an Invisible Illness, Being Overweight, Depressed and Tired To Enjoying Robust Health!

By 2013 my diagnoses were:

Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. This is an auto-immune disorder where your immune system attacks the thyroid, which untreated can lead to multiple issues and eventual thyroid gland failure.

Bipolar disorder and depression/anxiety. The manic-depression was actually the hypothyroidism/hyperthyroidism that characterizes

Asthma and chronic bronchitis requiring an inhaler

Chronic fatigue

Restless leg syndrome

Hyperlipidemia

Osteoarthritis, joint pain and stiffness

Chronic tendinitis in wrists

Adult acne

Early menopause at age 40

Brain fog

Around this time I had also lost half of my hair—thankfully I have thick hair so it still looked ok even though it was falling out in clumps.

For seven long years I went to the endocrinologist, got my thyroid (TSH) level tested and was always told it was “normal.”

Want to make fat loss easier? Try the Definitive Guide for Troubleshooting Weight Loss for free here.

0 notes