#I’m actually so autistic about this au you have no clue

[laplaces-idiot]

Synthetic or not, a diamond must do what they are created to do.

@cherrifire put him in my head and I can’t get him out grrrr

[ace-race-ace]

Autistic traits reflected by Max Verstappen - Part 2/?

Part 1

DISCLAIMER: this is in no way ‘diagnosing’ Max as autistic. You should not in any way use this post as a reason to start claiming so on Tumblr or any other platform as it can be damaging in many aspects. These are just observations made by me, an autistic person mostly as a sense of comfort in some similar actions/behaviors. It’s fine to discuss and find more instances, but it’s not with an end goal to ‘prove’ anything

Sensory avoidance/seeking

Autistic people often have very specific preferences when it comes to sensory input. Often times there are textures or tastes that we simply can’t/don’t want to deal with. Neurotypical people might dislike something but can “get over it” either because it isn’t that big a deal or out of social norms (ex: pretending to like food given to you to not seem rude). However, autistic people have a much harder time masking our dislike for certain things. A lot of times it’s because it actually physically hurts us in a way, either by headaches, gagging, or pins and needles. It’s not something we can easily ignore and it’s a constant struggle.

On the flip side, there are also sensory things we really enjoy and will reach out for even if it isn’t ‘acceptable’ to (ex: grabbing someone’s shirt out of nowhere because it looks soft and not letting go)

Examples of sensory ‘problems’ with Max

All of these are moments that separately wouldn’t be necessarily considered autistic behavior but it’s the fact it pops up a lot compared to others

Singapore crab video - right from the start, Max is obviously uncomfortable with the crab. Daniel is quick to point out Max doesn’t like seafood. Despite Max being extremely competitive, he doesn’t even attempt to get over his dislike to win the ‘challenge’. He also walks around a lot, probably as a self soothing gesture. Daniel jokingly puts the crab near his face and he can’t stop gagging and completely refuses to be near it.

Singapore Durian video - Similar to above. What’s particularly interesting about this one though is seeing how different Daniel’s and Max’s reactions are. Durian is known to be a ‘stinky’ fruit that many people don’t enjoy the taste of. Daniel definitely expresses how he finds the smell displeasing and when he tastes it, he definitely doesn’t like it. But he stays pretty tame, simply just saying it tastes bad. Max is much more hesitant, not even touching it to taste it. When he does, he immediately starts violently gagging and walking around. This is reflects the inability to mask some reactions as an autistic person. Most people would try and have a more tame reaction like Dan because durian is quite an important cultural thing but Max not at all

English crisps video - Again a great comparison video since Checo is with him. Max straight away expresses his dislike of cheese and repeatedly brings it up. His facial expressions are so pronounced every time he tastes any of the crisps meanwhile Checo is just kinda there like meh, whatever. Max also over explaining his thoughts on the taste and deeply observing every snack before eating it. Checo looks quickly or might give a quick sniff but Max is like intensely inspecting every one of them.

Monaco pool video - More over explaining on Max’s part. He could have just said oh I don’t like the fact people are jumping in together which would be reasonable, especially with everyone being sweaty after the race. Yet his problem is extremely specific, the fluff of new socks?? Like I’m autistic myself and I have no clue what he is talking about. It’s this special attention to detail that most people don’t think about that really exemplifies the autistic aspect.

AUS GP 2024 sand - This is very blink and you’ll miss it and very personal to my own experience. Max complains about already having sand in his shoe. Again, everyone else is also running in the sand and probably has some too but they can easily ignore it and keep going with the video. Max however makes his discomfort obvious. As a kid, I absolutely HATED having sand stuck to me like this, I wouldn’t put my shoes on or leave the beach before every grain of sand was off of me so his reaction just really reminded me of that.

Examples of sensory seeking with Max

Bahrain 2024 microphone - Max intensely observing the mic he’s never seen before, turning it around. Then he starts petting it like a cat and continues to do so despite Checo talking. Checo even jokingly makes fun of him at the end for how much he seems to like the mic.

Full body hugs - Everyone has seen how all consuming Max’s hugs are (with the people he likes). Autistic people often enjoy deep pressure which can be achieved through these strong hugs. Yet it often seems he doesn’t initiate them himself as much, which could relate to how autistic people are often afraid to initiate such deep contact because other people may find it strange. So he waits to be pulled in before fully engulfing the other in a hug.

———————————————————————————

There are many more examples but these are a few I could think of off the top of my head :)

More parts to come!

[thermodynamiclawyer]

HAIII👋👋👋FELLOW PV ENJOYER I just wanna say I LOVE UR ART SM🥺🥺the way u draw pv is SOSOSOSOSO COOL N FUNKY I LOVE IT SMMM I usually don’t follow accounts that post purecacao not becauz i hate the ship it’s just not really my thing (also becauz my besties fav ancient is lily and we like making aus together a lot so it’s just easier 2 slam our faves together HSHSHD) but but BUT!! u are the EXEPCTION i just cannot resist ur pv art swagger. it is too pretty it is TOO MUCH OF. A LOT OF GOOD THINGS I DON’T WANNA MAKE A HUGE LIST RN BUTBUT ur gonna get spammed with notifs from me in a second becauz im going through ur pv tag and reblogging ur art of him. I actually saw ur art a lot earlier but. i didnt interact with it idk why I just didn’t feel like writing out a ton of tag compliment essays that day and then I just continued to put it off,, the wonders of having the disorder(s? I just recently got on meds for add but I’m not actually properly diagnosed yet) (also I’m autistic so disorders plural I think) I literallt have no other excuse for not interacting with ur art sooner other than. executive dysfunction sucks and also becauz I wasn’t sure if u were the type of real and TRUE!! purecacao shipper 2 still think lily is shippable or were one of the kinds of people to demonize lily insanely a lot. I had 2 unfollow some1 before becauz they made an extremely negative post about lily that made me kindof uncomfy but. seeing as u also ship hollylily(valid btw) I think it’s time I finally follow u becauz. I love ALL UR ART SM!!!! and I wanna eat it stuff it into my mouth like a chipmunk and run away with it forever it is so. ur style is soooososo unique but in such a visibly appealing way it boggles my MIND when people manage 2 make such unique art styles look SOSO GOOD especially since the only way I was able 2 make my art look okay was 2 make it look. less unique idk. no clue what spawned me 2 ramble on for this long idk I just. think ur art is cool okay. I see ur pv art and my eyes light up n go shiny like big sparkly anime eyes the way u draw is just so. sosososoososo. so. insert every compliment physically possible here I can’t possibly stress this enough just. art. pretty. and I’m envious that ur not even that much older than me I hope that. my improvement speeds up in the next 2-3 years it would b really cool if my art was just as cool as urs when I’m 19. idk. end of ask I’ve gone on for too long I’m sorry I hope u don’t mind. whatever this is ig

this means so much to me holy shit i’m so happy you like my art. and i’m very happy ur a lily enjoyer too!!! i totally agree with you, people demonize her way too much (probably because she “gets in the way” of ppls “gay ships” WHICH I HATE THAT EXCUSE). i still ship purelily, i like to imagine it as a relationship they had in the past. i’m not gonna ignore what they have in canon cuz it’s obvious they loved each other!!! (i’m not gonna freak out when i see other ships with the characters i like LOL). i still love lily and i want her to be happy, she has an incredible amount of depth to her character. she’s not heartless, but she’s not a shy damsel in distress like how other people depict her as well. she’s flawed and incredibly multidimensional, and i hope i have the opportunity to show that more often :D that makes me happy to hear you’re still open to other artists that ship different (normal) things, i hope you enjoy what i draw in the future as well!! i love the ancients a lot and i love other ancients-fans as well!!!

[asset35-maya]

Another ask if you feel like it, because I love the way you did the last.

Gavin helping Nines through either a Bad Texture Day, or a meltdown because one of his routines got disrupted.

Autistic and Human Au again please

<3 <3

Another bright morning. Another sunny day. Another painful struggle for Gavin Reed to drag himself out of bed. Luckily he knew he could always count on a warm breakfast waiting for him in the kitchen… along with a gentle kiss on the left cheek.

The very thought ought to make him smile, but this morning, he had a headache. A rather nasty one. Well actually, it was a hangover. And his own fault for thinking he could get away with downing that much red wine.

His new fiancé had warned him, but Gavin couldn’t be stopped from celebrating. Not after finally bucking up the courage to get down on one knee and having the proposal go spectacularly well.

Gavin had carefully researched how best to balance the element of surprise with giving Nines enough time to internalize and deliberate the request. He didn’t at all doubt Nines’ commitment to their relationship or willingness to marry him... but he knew that spur of the moment decision-making didn’t always blend well with autistic thought processes.

After asking around in online help forums and talking to their close friends, Gavin had figured it out. The proposal ended up being simple and domestic, yet a 100% charming.

Since Nines loved to cook and Gavin always brought home the groceries, he decided to create a long trail of clues using notes tacked to different items on different days. It was a slow build but when Nines finally retrieved the ring from within the box of Cheerios, the deal was a good as sealed.

They kissed over the brown paper bags and Nines whipped up a splendid meal with all the fresh ingredients. Gavin had brought home lamb shanks and the fanciest figs he could find from the Mediterranean aisle. He also broke out his birthday wine that he’d been saving for a special occasion.

Life wasn’t perfect for the two of them, but in that moment it sure felt like it.

Still blissed out despite the throbbing in his head, Gavin stumbled into the kitchen. He yawned as he noticed the mugs of tea steaming on the countertop. Nah, he’d need something way stronger to ward off his pounding headache.

Unthinkingly, he sidestepped Nines and flipped open a cupboard door. He reached for the jar of instant coffee and let the door slam shut. The second Nines flinched, Gavin’s actions caught up with him.

“Sorry babe, I’ll get out of your way.”

Nines nodded stiffly and turned his attention back to the bacon in his frying pan.

Gavin sheepishly poured hot water from the kettle into the spare mug. He tried to be as quiet as possible, but he couldn’t avoid the spoon tinkling as he stirred the coffee powder into the water.

Nines suddenly dropped his spatula and marched towards the side counter. He grabbed one of the mugs and dumped the tea down the sink. In the few seconds his back was turned, a burning smell came from the stove. Nines scrambled to turn it off and in his haste, dropped the beloved cat-shaped mug. It cracked in two, splitting diagonally across the cute little face.

Gavin knew what was going to happen before it did. A cruel reminder that despite the glorious night they’d shared, their life was indeed far from perfect.

Nines’ breathing turned shallow. He sunk to the floor, fighting the sobs that threatened to break free. He kept his eyes fixed on the broken fragments. A few moments passed, and then Nines lost all composure.

He cried like he’d lost everything. As if the roof had caved in… as if the sun would never shine again… as if the world had ended. Maybe none of that was even remotely true, but it sure felt like it.

Gavin knew. Gavin understood. And it hurt. Even if he knew it would pass, even if he knew Nines would eventually be okay. It hurt to see his lover in so much distress, especially if he was the cause, however inadvertently.

Silently, Gavin sat down on the floor in the same spot at the edge of the kitchen. He made no attempt to approach or coax or calm Nines. He just sat and watched him go through it for a moment.

“I- I- I’m s-s-sorry… Ga-Gav-in…”

“Shhh… don’t be. Don’t be sorry, Nines.”

“I ruined… I ruined breakfast. Like I ruin… everything.”

“Mmm… not everything. Breakfast yes, and that’s my fault, but not everything.”

“I ruined that mug forever.”

Nines pointed at the ceramic pieces on the ground. Tears streamed steadily down his face and his chest shook with the effort of trying to talk and breathe though it all. Gavin’s throat clenched with guilt. His own eyes felt rather warm and wet, but he blinked rapidly to clear them. It wasn’t about him. He now had to focus and help Nines move out of his current headspace. 

“Well babe, this mug is never going to be the same, that’s for sure… buuuut we can use it for something else, right? You’re always gushing about upcycling! Could we maybe glue the pieces together? Turn it into a pot for one of your plants? A cat with leaves growing out of its head sounds neat.”

Nines sniffed.

“A cat with a huge crack in its face.”

“Or… a scar on its nose. Just like me.”

Nines pointed to the other mug on the counter.

“What about that one?”

“We could stick plants in that one too.”

“But it’s not broken.”

“Yeah it’s perfect. Just like you. And nothing’s ever gonna split you and me up, so who the phck are we to keep these mugs apart? Both of them are going in the garden. You just tell me which herbs you want in them later, okay?”

Nines wiped his face with the back of his hand. His breathing was steadier. Gavin could see that providing a distraction had worked and Nines could now slowly collect himself. The only trouble with using rational paths like this one was the risk of making Nines feel silly.

“I’m a mess. I couldn’t let things be… normal… for like 24 hours. You went through all that trouble to propose and I just had a meltdown over a fucking mug. I don’t know why you even want to marry me.”

“Nines... There’s no such thing as normal. We both know that. So let’s not strive for the impossible, okay? Phck normal.”

Nines looked up and met his eye. That was a very promising sign. Gavin decided to push a little further with humor. If it worked, they were in the clear. If not, he’d try something else. Whatever the outcome, he wouldn’t give up. Never. Not when it came to Nines.

“And if you really need a list of reasons why I wanna marry you, just go back and read all the little grocery notes. Come on! I didn’t pour my heart out for the love of broccoli and canned beans.”

The corner of Nines’ lip twitched. He closed his eyes and leaned his head wearily against the cabinets. Exhausted. He held out a hand.

Gavin was beside him in a flash, gently placing his opposite hand into the outstretched palm and squeezing as much reassurance as he could into it. Nines reciprocated weakly and their matching rings clicked against each other.

A moment passed with Gavin resting on his haunches. Then Nines made a valiant attempt to stand. It wasn’t very successful... Patient as ever, Gavin waited until his hand was dropped.

He pressed a soft kiss to Nines’ forehead before wrapping one arm around his back and slipping the other beneath his knees. With practiced ease and balance, Gavin stood up… stepped over the broken halves of the mug… and carried Nines into the living room.

A plan had already formed in his mind.

He would give Nines his tea.

They would watch some Sunday morning cartoons.

They would get some hash browns and McGriddles delivered home (because it was still early enough).

Gavin would throw out the burnt bacon and carefully glue the broken cat mug back together.

Nines would pick out the herb cuttings to plant into the two matching mugs, though Gavin had a pretty good hunch it would be rosemary and thyme.

As difficult as it was, life would go on... and they would buy new mugs. Maybe a bigger set... because accidents happened and there was no need to dwell on them for too long.

There would be more bright and sunny mornings to spend together.

They would get married someday.

And maybe things would be okay. Or maybe they wouldn’t. Who knew. Who cared.

Their life wasn’t perfect… but it definitely was beautiful.

//

@rjhpandapaws

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

35 Q’s for Fanfic Writers

From this post

I’m having a shitty, rude alter-y, crap night so I’m just going to answer all of these to distract myself and focus and to not bother anybody just making my own post and putting it under the cut btw, notice to anyone not aware: since I’m moving I won’t likely be updating anything until I’m done doing so.

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing?  (No downplaying yourself!) 3/5? Could use more editing and description and can be weirdly paced.

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Because it’s better than focusing on pain 24/7. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I don’t seem to have a specific narrative voice that people recognize but I’m pretty proud of mostly organic dialogue. 

4. Are there any writers that inspire you? as a rule i never look up to anybody for inspiration but there’s some stuff in my ao3 bookmarks I fawn over.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? Right now, none of them. It changes normally, anyway. If get too proud then I’d get my ass kicked by RSD if someone didn’t like it so it’s safer this way

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? Dialogue. 

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Organic description, poetic language kind of stuff. I can paint a scene but I’m not so great with bring out out a feeling with description alone.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write? Janus and Virgil are probably tied. They both have things I struggle with but I don’t have to go back and do much adjusting of language and tone with them. Though admittedly my Virgil is signifigantly more foul-mouthed than canon and I tend to prefer pre-AA feral asshole Virgil.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write? Patton. I write him the least, so people can probably tell. I love Patton, I really do, but it’s so hard to keep away from fanon Patton. 

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for? Angst w/ H/C obviously. Or if you’re talking about regular book genres, Fantasy. I fucking love fantasy world building.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most? Trauma. I blame Daeram. As if Ayri isn’t a giant Angst Demon.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Slopes. I’m really into it. I’ve got three one shots running right now. Patrons can read the first part of the unnamed cat remus one, there’s also a coffeeshop au tropey nonsense one like eglantine & lycoris, but Slopes is addiction angst. Mmmmm. Virgil is addicted to coke and alcohol and will listening to his friends even be in time? Who knows, especially not me, but there’s already over 30k. 

13. First fandom you ever wrote for? InuYasha. Or was it Harry Potter? Or shit, The Blue Sword? Fuck, I’ve been writing for a long time, I really have no idea.

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for? Sanders Sides. The characters are the perfect dynamic for writing since they exist in balance of each other and the popular, easy to project on archetypes featured are incredibly fun to do basically any scenario with.

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for? Weird storywise? Kingdom Hearts? I can’t even follow the plot anymore. Weird Fandomwise? Sanders Sides. Its simultainiously the fluffiest and angstiest nonsense at the same time.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? Vampires. Gay ones. Gay Vampires. I also love calm tol and angy smol.

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for. Any tropes that normalize incredibly toxic behaviour or tropes that are inherantly ableist, but I can’t think of any.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written? Incorrigible continues to be complete nonsense.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between? AUs. I mean closest I even have is canon-divergence other than a single short.

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff? I like it when there is gay nonsense along with a plot that is treated as more important than the relationship the most. But I like both. There’s more shippy stuff in tss so i read more shipping action by default.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) Anxceit/Sleepxiety, but in general, give me darksides or give me death/j

22. Do you listen to anything while you write? Almost everything I write has a special playlist I listen to to help me write it, but otherwise I listen to my Nyan playlist, an alter is picking the tunes, or a voidfam playlist. I never have music off. When my internet is down I just listen to the songs I own or Anxiety’s theme on loop.

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I’m fine with all of them. I love working with prompts but I tend to deviate. And I’ve never done a challenge since I can’t do deadlines and bad things happen bingo never sent me a card and I applied three times.

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works? I am generally multi-chaptered stuff, but I’ve been working on a few one-shots lately that are much longer than most one shots.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! I was originally thinking of doing some little 13-year-old Dreaming!Roman (y’know, the one with a job) shorts but it turns out I just had an alter of that little bastard and that’s why I inexplicably know more about him then I ever even considered. I still might do them after Dreaming is done. But that’s paced so slowly who knows when that might happen. Otherwise I put stuff in my notes and just do shorts of it if I’m like “oh you know what’s cool???” but since I can’t daydream maybe this question doesn’t apply to me.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try? I want to do more autism stuff, and I’ve had it demanded a few times, but I’m scared of being that explict about it for some reason. Possibly because I might be, possibly because I’m scared of doing it wrong even though I’ve accidentally coded multiple characters autistic. I’m scared of explictly tagging them as such, too. 

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? That I can remember off the top of my head? I’m going with one from @a-genz-with-trauma-and-kins. It really helped me out and was just so kind and literally the best christmas gift I got in 2020. 

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing? I can handle it alright but Daeram is a little fucking pissbaby about it. Constructive criticism helps people get better, so I appreciate it. I can’t handle critism that is incomplete, though. “i just don’t get it” or “I don’t know I don’t like it” kind of things. If I can’t understand the why to fix it then things get out of control. And then I spiral and RSD for like four days minimum. If it came from an anon or a troll, too, It might not bother me for as long. Things that are just like “this is shit and you should feel bad” just make me laugh. Couldn’t even bother to read it long enough to insult me proper? I don’t care.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? I have a few times. Mostly in shorts and prompts, I think. I think they turned out okay. They’re not particularly inspired or anything.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst? Depends on my mood. Am I triggered? give me the fluff. Am I vibin? Angst. 

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! Fuck, fam, no, I can’t, I have so many. I have multiple original stories and some of them have very large casts and like holy fuck. Or do you mean in Sanders Sides fandom? Um, Morgan and Thorn in PD. The lesbian and her himbo dynamic. I love them. They’re dorks. Morgan is strong person with sharp tongue and soft romantic heart and Thorn is just so kind and so dumb and so exciteable he’s like a puppy. They were just filler characters and I got attached to them. Felton even gets redemption for being an ass later in PD, like oof i never intended to include so much OC content, especially for names I just picked randomly. 

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less. nope I’m doing all of them because these are fun plea for my new self: 2 gay vampires, 4 humans, 1 braincell dreaming while I wake: trauma child needs therapy and so do you break: big oof, oh dragons, oh why, go virgil go rebuild: virgil is so not okay there’s more virgil to deal painful death: gay teens drink themselves into a new religion stargazing: whoops we didn’t realize people actually cared whole castle: everyone will throw down for kid!patton, even you incorrigible: found family with a shot of psychological horror and crack dangerous instincts: wholesome crime syndacite action  slopes: addict gets mugged and thinks that’s just fine with him conflagration: logan avoids everything ever like a champ cat!remus: bored fae shifts gay pining from one person to another  caffeine cyptids: caffinated gay panic goes faster than regular gay panic eglantine & lycoris: more tropes than you can toss a shoe at storytime: overpowered virgil also overreacts literally always

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? an alter and I write together and I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen, what I’m writing about, or even what year it is. I often don’t even remember what I wrote. There’s no outline. I have an idea and I pick things at random for it. There’s just notes and an evil gleam in a demon’s eye. The only reason I know more than readers is because I take a long time to edit and some of these stories have fucking alters up in my head who can tell me things. Daeram tells me nothing. The writing demon supposedly has all this knowledge but I have absolutely no clue because he does not talk to me, he just fronts and slams out 9k in a few hours or we cofront to write and I’m like “oh no she didn’t” while typing 

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. i’m fond of the entire painful death series and I tried to find something I really liked without spoilers in stargazing and I couldn’t so here’s a random thing from incorrigble: “So, what do you do with your friends?” Patton continued on with a megawatt smile. “Grand larceny,” Virgil deadpanned and glared at Patton, who was taken aback. Remy and Andy just broke out laughing while Virgil tentatively sipped his still-too-hot-cocoa. 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!  slopes my dudes slopes i have learned so much about cocaine! like wow! I thought for a minute it was going to end with MCD around 30k but it swtiched from whump to hurt/comfort and I still don’t know if it’s going to be MCD but look at that funky little coke/alcohol addict go, it’s a medical wonder he’s alive! It’s not like there’s what seems to be a little talked about interaction between alcohol and cocaine that causes a toxic chemical to build up in the liver which can result in liver failure and sudden death at basically any moment! Which is part of why it may result in MCD but this time no ghosts! maybe it’ll be h/c with whump elements or maybe it’ll be whump with h/c elements we can’t know for sure

[anarkhebringer]

i like your version of a modern au too can i have some more info on felix

Am I in Heaven? Have I been blessed? Of course I will gladly do more infodumps about how our favorite tsundere boyo is going in all this.It’s pretty beefy in length so yeah.

The thing I mentioned in my Ashelix infodump about “many an incident costing him the ability to fight forever and also get even a small job” was basically one thing leading to another that got him thinking “hey, maybe I should uhhhhh see a psychiatrist for these anger issues” and his diagnosis he received in time got him legally deemed disabled. So out the window his dreams of pursuing a career of battle went. Or rather, they were ripped away from him, as it felt like to him. He fell into a depression after that, and he became even more isolated. Since Glenn and Rodrigue are both long gone in the AU, I have done the honors and created him an aunt to live with instead.  He likes her though, and his cousin (pretty much seen as a little brother to him at this point) has autism like he does, so he doesn’t feel so alone in this whole deal.

Though getting closer with Claude was already helping him get out of his depressive rut slowly but surely, since he felt less alone in this front too since Claude is autistic too, and he can easily relate to Felix in ways his cousin can’t because he isn’t along the more developed parts of the spectrum in communication, and isn’t as verbal as Felix is. But when Ashe came in even more overall, not just as a boyfriend, he started making even more positive strides, and he started coming out of his bedroom and fully out of his apartment way more often to at least take some walks around his apartment complex for some direct sunlight.

He has three cats, a black cat with a pretty pink nose and pink toe pads named Cherry, a tabby and Siamese mix named Aqua, and a Russian Blue named Lily, and he spoils all three of his fur daughters to death with love and affection. They’re still well behaved though despite that since he knows when to set boundaries.

Shortly after he graduated from the Officers Academy, he came to a realization after some deep thought about some personal things that he’s nonbinary. He’s only recently come out to Claude, who told the others in his stead since he asked Claude to do so, when he couldn’t make it to the meetup between the Blue Lions and Golden Deer on the day he planned to come out to them all. Everyone took it much better than he expected when he got back from what he needed to do and asked Claude about it. He felt the most comfortable doing it this way since he wasn’t exactly sure about much involving these sorts of things until asking Claude for help looking into it. Since Claude is trans, he felt it was best to go to the only other person who isn’t cis among the peers that he truly interacted with in any way that was more than greetings and occasional small talk, to get it out there and proceed from that point forward.

He’s started to let it show in his fashion sense too, and is willing to show his fondness of cute things to very specific people. He has a growing collection of wigs too, so he doesn’t have to mess with his actual hair to get the style he wants in various situations if h wants something that he can’t just style his actual hair for without any cutting or dying or anything (he has a HATRED of people touching his hair and the idea of cutting it in general). His favorite wig is a black and red ombre one that goes down to the middle of his back since it’s easiest to match to his outfits he chooses.

Since he’s starting to open up slowly but surely, he’s going with a message he remembers the base of, but not the exact wording, that if he loses his purpose in life, he’d just need to find a new purpose. He doesn’t realize it, but he’s remembering what Flayn had said to him in his past life. He has no recollection of anything from his past life, so he literally has no clue why he remembers this or where it came from. Thanks to just rolling with it, he went with it when Claude encouraged him, and he started drawing. He’s very good at it, but doesn’t show anyone but Claude. He doesn’t like the idea of others knowing, and it takes his relationship with Ashe being established to even mention it to someone other than Claude. Though once he mentioned it and showed some of his work to Ashe, and Ashe reacted with as much amazement as he did, he started drawing things to give Ashe as gifts.

He eventually opened up to the idea of Claude introducing him to a friend that Claude holds very very dear, who happens to be Lukas. They all basically bonded quickly over having others who understand what it’s like being autistic and having the usual difficulties with communication and social cues and such. Felix met Python and Forsyth too, but overall he’s just in this for Lukas when Claude invites him to join in with he and Dimitri to go visit them. Python is too lazy and like a more cynical Sylvain to him, and Forsyth is too laser-focused on his ambitions and high expectations for himself for Felix’s tastes. Despite this, he doesn’t dislike them, and can hold conversations with them when he gets a good flow going. He’s just on a more neutral view of them and wouldn’t be bothered if he didn’t ever get to know them better.

Despite being in a relationship with Ashe and being more than happy, he’d always had feelings for Sylvain too. He’d even contemplated asking Ashe how he feels about polyamorous relationships to see if they could fit Sylvain into the mix somehow for a while. Fortunately, luck was on his side and Ashe had already known Felix feels for Sylvain too, alongside supporting the idea, so eventually they managed to get Sylvain on his own with them to offer the opportunity to him. Now they’re all established. At first Ashe didn’t have any feelings for Sylvain himself, but he grew on Ashe pretty quickly since he turned out to be really loving and much more loyal than expected. He even cut down on flirting with girls, which threw Felix and Ashe both for a loop.

Alrighty, I think that’s a good amount for now. Thank you for the ask, and I’m happy others are enjoying my modern AU stuff so much! I’ll happily tell more if there’s anything else anyone would like to know about, so feel free to send an ask my way about whatever you’d like to know about the AU!

[youtuberswithalex]

It was only a matter of time before my autistic self combined my current Special Interest with my longest lasting Special Interest. May I introduce to yinz, the first half of my Sanders Sides Pokemon AU.

(Thank you again to all of yinz who popped by the stream! I plan on streaming again tomorrow, probably around the same time (4pm EST). I’m going to be working on Logan and Virgil then, so I hope to see you folks there!)

Kofi Commissions -- Twitch Channel

I plan to write fics about them all soon, but here’s what I have so far:

-The Sides all live in different regions -Decided to go to Hoenn for various reasons and all meet there -End up sticking together after they finish the journey there and go through many regions after that; just kind of,,, never split up?

Patton:

-From the Alola Region, Melemele Island specifically -Lives in the same house the protagonist lives in in Sun and Moon -Has an older brother named Sun who is currently off on a journey (don’t ask where because I,,, haven’t decided yet) -His best friend is named Moon, and she goes through the events of the game while Patton is in Hoenn -Starts with Popplio -Is the oldest of the group, but just by a couple of months. He turns 11 towards the end of their Hoenn Journey. They all visit Alola on his birthday and a few days after so that Patton can at least start his Island Challenge on time, and after they finish their Hoenn adventures, they go back and travel through Alola so Patton can complete it. -The reason he came to Hoenn is because he wanted to find a partner Pokemon that he could use a Z Move with. His Popplio doesn’t want to due to trauma from its last trainer. Patton is respectful of this and won’t make it fight if it doesn’t want to, but he still wants to go through his Island Challenge using Z Moves, so he came to Hoenn to see if he could find a second Pokemon Partner -Because he’s from Alola, where it’s really hot all the time, Patton is always freezing cold. The scarf that he wears is actually Roman’s. -Is very strict about himself keeping to Alolan traditions and rituals. Prays to Tapu Koko before and after all big events -Constantly amazed by the Pokemon that are Regional Variants in Alola, but often gets in trouble because of this. He once tried to use Logan’s Magnemite in a battle against a Vulpix, thinking all Vulpix were Ice Types and having absolutely no clue that most are Fire Types. -Finds an egg while going through their travels, near Dewford Town. It hatches into a Togepi. He bonds to it immediately and does not let it out of his sight.

Roman:

-From the Sinnoh Region, Snowpoint City -Close friends with the daughter of Snowpoint’s Nurse Joy -Starts with Chimchar -Roman is a Coordinator, and a very determined one at that; he won’t let any rival stand in his way of becoming the best of the best of the best. Losses hit him hard, though. When he didn’t even make it past the first round of his first contest, he cried for a solid two days. -Came to Hoenn so that he could have his Contest Debut in the same place where Pokemon Contests originated -Since he’s from Snowpoint City, where it’s literally winter all year round, he’s always just sweltering. Gave Patton his scarf because he felt like he was going to have a heat stroke wearing it. -Whenever/however he gets Jigglypuff, it becomes his top Pokemon, to the point where when avid Contest watchers see a Jigglypuff, they assume Roman is around somewhere

(Logan and Virgil)

[schwazombie]

I feel like I’m a really awful person again because yesterday I skyped with my mother and my sister

(which I get the feeling neither of them really wanted me to do, but my mother asked me to and it was one of those things where if I didn’t then she’d’ve complained so might as well just bite the bullet and get it over with) and my sister, out of nowhere, says, ‘Did I tell you I think your niece may be AU?”

I said, “What? AU? Alternate Universe?” Because I was just completely verblüfft and she said,

“Yeah A-U-T-I-S-T-I-C. I don’t want anyone to know.” Because there were kids there other than my niece so she spelled it, right and it just... made me so angry. I know that I can’t make that judgement because I don’t know the kid, but I do know that she’s been diagnosed with ADHD and has brain damage in such a way that would explain a lot of behaviour and ADHD and autism overlap, and the only reason I feel like my sister would ever even think of autism is because our cousin has a kid who recently got diagnosed with “level 2″ autism.

I guess the thing that’s just really making me angry is that I don’t have a diagnosis, but there is so much about me that would make sense if I were autistic, and I’ve done so much reading and so much research and I’ve gone my whole life being ignored by my family with no one seeing me and so I guess part of me is envious but another part of me is I know my family and I don’t want my niece to be autistic because my family isn’t supportive. I know what she would have to endure, I know what she would have to face, I know how unsupportive everyone is and I know my mother and my sister would turn into autism moms.

Like damn my sister had some random kid with her yesterday who she said was her ‘niece’ -- no fucking clue where she got this kid, or whose she is -- but she tells the kid to come over and say hi to me and I could fucking tell that this kid was not comfortable with it. She’d never met me before. I’m just some weird person on a phone screen. And my sister tells her to tell her Aunt Zombie hi and the kid just looks down and away and tries to stand behind my sister out of the full view of the camera and my sister moves it and I just wanted to yell at her like, hello? This kid is obviously uncomfortable? I am a fucking stranger to her, she doesn’t owe me a goddamned thing? She doesn’t have to say hi to me, she doesn’t have to talk to me, and she doesn’t have to be in view of the camera if she doesn’t want to be ffs????? But I didn’t say anything.

And all I could think afterwards was, if my sister was acting like that towards one kid, how the fuck would she act if my niece actually is autistic? Is she going to force the kid to do shit she isn’t comfortable with? Because that’s what my family does. I had to hug and kiss people I didn’t like, be in loud crowded rooms with relatives I only saw twice a year when I didn’t want to be, have my schedule upturned, be forced into chaos over and over without any sort of autonomy because children in my family aren’t seen as people but as possessions.

And it was so draining talking to them, just pretending to be there while they did Christmas stuff. Neither of them asked about my life, were interested in me or how my classes are or how work is. They told me all about how things are for them, how their jobs are, stuff with the kids. I made sure to ask about if my sister ever found her SAT scores which she’d been looking for, and to try to sympathize when she talked about how much it was going to cost to take this test and that. The only time either of them asked about me was right at the beginning of this 90 minute call when my mom asked what I’d done that day and I summarized: Did some research for my term paper, did some housework, sent Husband to get groceries, and bleached and dyed my hair. I mean she did ask what colour I’d dyed it (I wanted it to be bright silver for the holiday but it turned out way darker), and what we were going to have for supper. My sister asked towards the end of the time what we were doing for Xmas, which turned into me telling her where she could get a particular movie we always watched at Xmas when we were kids. And... that was it. The rest of the time was just them talking about themselves.

Is it really so much to ask to have family, to have friends, who are interested in me? My mother only cares about my degree in as much as she can claim my success for herself afterwards (I only did it because of her, because she raised me, because she is the reason I do well in classes -- people have literally congratulated her, not me, for my successes because she is the reason I’m successful, not me). She’s mad at me because my ambitions aren’t lofty enough. Apparently wanting to be an assistant prof (because I know myself and I know that a full professorship would be really hard on me, and I’ll make more than enough money as an AP) isn’t good enough. I’m taking too long to get my degree (nevermind that we’re in the middle of a fucking plague and it’s not fucking safe for me to be out and in B and I kind of don’t want to die and my professors understand this and told me to take as much time as I need and my mother dropped out of university because she had to work summers but expects me to hold a job as well as complete my MA faster than I have with a higher GPA than she could fucking dream of.). My sister doesn’t know... anything about my life. She knows I’m married, live here, and that I’m getting my MA. I don’t even know if she knows I work in a warehouse. Neither of them know I’m autistic, and trying to get a professional diagnosis. No one in my family does. My husband is the only person who knows I’m nonbinary and bisexual. They think my mental illnesses must not be too bad because I’m not being treated when the fact is I can barely get out of bed some days (I only got out of bed today because I thought not might make it worse), and on the days I do get out of bed sometimes I can’t do much more than mindlessly scroll on here. They don’t know I’ve build an entire fantasy world, that I’m writing a conlang -- and if they did, my mother would want me to monetize on it so she could claim that for herself, too (she tried when I was a kid, writing stories on the family computer for my own amusement; she printed out information for a publishing company and told me, ‘Well you’ll have to do something with that book when you’re done writing it’ and got really mad at me because of it  when I didn’t want to worry about it because I was a kid trying to just have fun -- is it any wonder that I stopped writing after that?).

I feel fucking invisible. No one sees me. I don’t think they care to.

[benevadeca]

Came up with some STUPID dn ocs after talking with a friend, in that they take the role of misa but not for misogynist reasons just bc actually misa deserves better than to have to deal with any of the plot of dn in the first place. The good timeline misa route is her never coming into contact with anything supernatural nor l*ght y*g*m* and she just gets therapy and a girlfriend and continues her successful modelling/acting/fashion/music career. ALSO it’s to just fuck w/ dn’s plotline bc like...it’s a fun story but all of the plot choices and characterizations are very heavyhanded in terms of “this is the trajectory we’ve got plotted out and we will do everything in our power to make it happen”. so like, death of the author.

anyway I ended up writing a short fic abt them that’s mostly about Rem, and i talked at left w/ a friend abt them so i’m posting that under the cut for the sake of continuing the habit of being On My Own Bullshit thank you everyone.

Also re: misa’s only relevance in the story being A - to Be A Woman(TM), and B - progress the story by making a ~mistake~ that endangers light. also the eyes or whatever. but tbh? She could’ve done everything else the same but as long as she hadn’t just killed that one guy and tipped L off to the eyes he’d have been DEAD like i know all his little leaps of logic from the minor clues light and misa give him are to give him a fighting chance in the supernatural BS plotline. but lol. This blog is a misa amane apologist only zone.

SO the general intent behind the OC’s at large is in that what if death note had characters with u kno... Real Morals and even kind of nuanced politics, even a little. Canon death note has what? Matsuda? Please people. Also what if it was character driven instead of plot driven / But A Vehicle For Logic Puzzles™ 

Making this AU I am here for the two-tiered self indulgence of “what if...the shinigamis just like, hung out. just chilling” what if DN was a black comedy. or at Least a slice of life. in my dreams it is.

These ocs being the vehicle for the viewers to look at the complete trainwreck of the DN plot and go “hm! Yikes! I literally respect none of you people!”

In addition is like. a general desire to call out L on being like...genuinely kind of a bad detective hhhh im sorry i LOVE the man but. so many of his deductions were entirely based on what was conveninet to the author for him to get right. autistic KING i love you but none of your rationale would hold up in a court of law

Thursday, 22, goes to local uni and is in the last year of their degree . Has a weekend night shift part-time job.

They volunteer at the public library and recently gave away presidency of the book club them and yuzu are in (yuzu was the previous president before she entered graduate student hell). Autistic king! Also congratulations in this plotline they have gained survivor’s guilt a la Rem telling them about how they’re literally living on borrowed time, and also their would-be murderer killing them. (*narrator voice* this will be plot relevant later) Also the would-be murderer character is a Relevant Character that while i’m still fleshing out is integral to their character arc. We long emotional rollercoasters and non-static characters in this bitch.

Yuzu, 23, graduate biomed student, busy and stressed

Vaguely based on 2 people I know who are both bio majors so at least there’s real world knowledge backing up the understanding of this character. Not about biomed specifically tho, oh absolutely not.

Thurs & Yuzu’s dynamic is basically the opposite of near and mello, or what my understanding of near and mello, in that Thurs is small and autistic and Feeling Openly, while Yuzu’s main feeling is Being Kind Of A Bitch, but with good intent, But Still A Bitch. She has a sensitive core under 14 layers of barbed wire, and gets a bit pedantic in her logic that she ends up sort of seeing the forest without caring for the trees. Chill.

Kol, 27, works as an art teacher at the community center and has friends who work in the children’s theatre department so he volunteers there sometimes too.

Kol is like “im here i guess, but do i need to be? Be no i’ll be here I just want to put on record i am Not qualified to be an authority figure in this kind of situation and would prefer if it was anyone else”, but also secretly he’s on all levels 1 bad week away from becoming just completely unhinged, but despite this he’s also the one who’s closest to achieving self-actualization and thus the most well-adjusted out of them all. Hence, a Real Adult.

And while he hates his role as the Responsible one he’s also tbh? Kind of jamming to the concept of shinigami, not in the murder department, but in the “Rem! If you’re willing we could make some really fun homebrew ghost footage Are You In?” he is but a man who enjoys DIY art. Also he has never read a book so jot that down. 

So they didn’t even have names originally i just mentally refered to them as X, Y, & Z / wrote them as such in my phone note rem POV fic, However i have the facts about them now.

Thursday’s character summed up is “i WILL cry and this IS a threat”, Yuzu’s is “what, you mean you Wouldn’t use the death note? Pussy”, and Kol is at all times resisting the urge of asking Thursday if they can borrow ownership of the DN and introduce Rem to his friends in the theatre department.The potential for shinigami special effects haunt his dreams.

Also when I did make there names there’s like....some EXTREME bullshit circular logic to them that I will not get into but I want everyone to know it exists nonetheless. Except Yuzu. Her’s is just bc it started with a Y. Yuzu stans only.

[felidfannibal]

This is a “All of the (hannigram) fic tabs i have open right now” fic rec because there is a Lot and I am PAINFULLY SLOW- also because @tiersein asked what I was readin the other day:

Transcendant Suffering by itsbeautiful/ @hallofmybeginnings Im on chapter 144/153 and there’s an entire massive sequel (which i actually read the first chapter of before deciding i had to To This Properly and go back lol) and i absolutely fucking adore this fic and have so many screenshots saved of scenes I may/may not draw eventually because the way they use visual language sometimes is disgustingly beautiful. Also my icon is from the sketch i did for it.  P: 

Overcoming by purefoysgirl (also the podfic by ghostgurlgamer) I’m either on chapter 16 or 17/23(/55), im not sure, sometimes i listen to it sometimes i read it so i occasionally loose track lol. I was kinda meh about the a/b/o dynamics in this at first ( i mean cmon hanni isnt exactly sellin it ;P) because i’m super picky abt them but ive gradually fallen in love with this Will. Im so proud of him. U go Will. Also at this point I just Need Some Damn Resolution between them goD these children. And. And. Anthony is in it. Which is like. Super mega bonus points i love him. 

The Blood Must Flow by harleygirl2648 I havent actually started this one at all but I tabbed it at one point cause its an American Gods AU and I am Intrigued

Vasodilation by Soundingonlyatnightasyousleep Again, barely started this one, but it was rec’d to me while I was looking for Autistic Will fics, and spoken highly of so !!! yas

A Mirror in the Dark by wormsin I havent touched this in awhile but apparently im on chapter 6/23 and if its the one I think it is im very fond of the visuals here as well. Again, I havent touched most of these in a long time because reading is hard so unless I sit down and read another chapter to remember why im reading it...lol. I assume its good if its been allowed to stay tabbed open tho P: 

Identically Different AU by Pragnificent/ @pragnificent Honestly I have no clue where I ACTUALLY am in this series right now because I’ve kept jumping around for references for commissions- but its REALLY GOOD!! I love how prag isnt afraid to dig into potential reasons for why they are the way they are, and play with changing their realities and lives to see how they respond. its one of my favourite aspects of fanfic so yea im super pumped about this au all the time lately. 

A Blackish Red Hue by Nalyra/ @nalyras I’m currently... just starting Transition  so.. yay!!! slowly... .slowly.. hah. My mind suddenly just blanked on what I was about to say abt this so far because I was thinkin abt the scene with Will ripping hannis back brand to shreds, and if that isnt intriguing enough in and of itself you are looking at the wrong person to rec you fics. 

So yea! thats what is currently Permanently Open on my phone, I also have a tab thats just set to the will/hanni tag (and i also have a tab permanently open to the tim drake tag but no one here cares abt that lol) and more often then not end up there before elsewhere which is sad bcause i WANNA GET THROUGH ALL THESE SOBS. maybe you’ll have more luck, if you havent read them all already P; 

[iamthestrangerinmoscow]

My assignment for @autisticfanworkexchange - a fanfic for  @kyrfiore

I’m sorry that I couldn’t write anything more specific, but we were matched by mods and I’m only familiar with Harry Potter. However I tried my best and I hope you will still appreciate it. Also sorry for my weird punctuation - twelve years of learning English, still can’t punctuate dialogues the English way.

“We’re Scully and Mulder”

fandom: Harry Potter 

rating: PG-13/T

AU (alternative to “Nighteen Years Later”), Luna/Hermione, detective, mystery, fluff, autistic!Luna, autistic!Hermione; ~5500 words long

content warnings for: death/murder (but there’s nothing too nasty or graphic)

“They got together; wave and stone,

Verse and prose, ice and flame…”

Alexander Pushkin, ‘Eugene Onegin’

 Today Hermione came back home even later than usual. Her fumbling with the door keys woke up the neighbors’ yappy dog, and she quietly cursed under her breath, as she continued to look for the keyhole in the darkness of the alleyway. The door seemed adamant about not wanting to be opened. Glancing over her shoulder to check for strangers, Hermione took out her wand and whispered ‘lumos’. A beam of white light shone from the wand, and finally she could locate the keyhole. She couldn’t just use ‘alahomora’ on this one – it was protected from unwanted entrance.

The door clicked, hissed and screeched – as if tiny gears were spinning and turning inside it. When, in the end, it opened, it revealed a small room lit by a soft, orange light. If someone was to enter it without a special key, all they would find in the house was dust and empty halls. But the muggles believed the house was abandoned years ago, so they rarely bothered to even pass by. Sometimes kids would come to explore the place, out of curiosity or for a dare, but they didn’t stay for long. For them, it wasn’t entertaining enough, simply because they never saw the truth.

Hermione closed the door behind her, and tiptoed her way into the living room. It was quiet and dark, so she assumed Luna was already asleep. She wasn’t surprised – it was already past midnight when she left the Ministry. It must have been very late now. Or very early, depending on your point of view. She dropped her heavy bag on the couch, took off her coat and boots, and headed for the kitchen. There a big plate covered by a metal lid was waiting for her on the table. Hermione smiled, took of the lid and breathed in the smell of food. One time she asked Luna what kind of magic she used for cooking. To that she replied with one word: ‘spices’.

She heated up the cold chicken curry with a silent movement of her wand and sat in the kitchen eating. All around her on the walls were paintings, paintings of rare (and sometimes imaginary) creatures, beautiful landscapes, and friendly faces. Luna’s life centered on her art, it was everywhere you looked. In the morning, right after sunrise, she was already in their garden, painting another masterpiece. Often she would draw the same picture over and over again, perfecting the technique, focusing on every tiny detail that seemed important to her. Hermione was pretty sure that, by now, their every friend had at least a few of Luna’s paintings in their house. And still, there was never a shortage. She didn’t seem to ever run out of inspiration.

After finishing her late night dinner, Hermione put the dish in the sink and tiptoed up the stairs to the bedroom. As she has guessed, Luna was in the bed, wrapped in three heavy blankets and asleep. Not bothering to change into pajamas, Hermione took off everything apart from her underwear and quietly slipped under the blankets. Luna’s sleep remained undisturbed. With a sign of relief, Hermione turned on her side and pressed her face into the soft, cool pillow. She was so tired that sleep kidnapped her mind before her thoughts came back to today’s events, and luckily so. At least the disturbing images stayed out of her dreams.

***

She woke up because something heavy was sitting on her chest. Hermione rubbed her eyes and squinted. It was Vincent – their fluffy, slightly overfed cat. She stretched, making Vincent jump from her chest and walk away on his short legs, evidently not very pleased.

As she got up and started picking a new set of clothes, Luna entered the room.

-Good morning, buttercup. – She murmured, fiddling with a lock of her hair. – Breakfast is ready.

And immediately after she turned round to leave.

-You’re not gonna ask me about yesterday? – Hermione asked.

Luna shrugged. – I’m not gonna interrogate you before your first cup of coffee. Besides, I have flowers to water. – She pointed at the shirts that Hermione held in her hands. – That one. – She said. – It is softer, and looks much better on you. Now, gotta check on those tulips.

Hermione smiled. Luna and she couldn’t have been more different. Luna was quiet and gentle, moving like a flower petal on the wind, carefully avoiding every obstacle in her way. She spoke rarely, and even when she did, her words were sometimes puzzling, sometimes outright nonsensical, but Hermione could always understand her. And Hermione spoke a lot, maybe even too much – even when exhausted beyond the point of no return, she would still create long, sophisticated monologues filled with meaning. But she always envied Luna, her creative talents, the grace in her movements… Hermione couldn’t walk across her own house without bumping into something.

The differences didn’t stop there. Hermione was order, and Luna was chaos. Hermione took the same route on her way home, every day, for the last seven years. She read the same books she had as a child, and kept her interests and obsessions for decades. Luna collected obsessions like stamps – every few months, there was something new. She loved re-decorating the house, moving the furniture around in ever so subtle ways, which sometimes pissed Hermione off. Luna resided in randomness; it seemed her world was bigger than just the objects around her. There was a universe in her mind that she didn’t share with anyone.

 The golden rays of the sun were crawling slowly up the walls, highlighting every scratch and dusty surface. The air was thick and smelled of syrop and coffee beans. Hermione held her cup firmly in her hands, sipping the hot liquid. She loved her mornings: sitting near the window, eating breakfast and watching her beloved girlfriend take care of the flowers. Her house was a safe place. It was calm, quiet, and familiar – pleasantly devoid of surprises. Well, except for Luna’s eccentric decorating projects.

-Did you enjoy the waffles?

Hermione didn’t catch the moment Luna came back to the house. She was standing in front of the table, her blond hair messy and tangled, dirt under her fingernails.

-I did. – Hermione nodded, mixing her coffee absent-mindedly.

-What is bothering you? – Luna asked, and took a seat opposite her.

Once again, Hermione was surprised by Luna’s abilities to read her state of mind. Five years of living together, and she still relied on taking sneak-peaks at Luna’s mood stone. Despite sounding like a cheap fake, that trinket of her actually worked.

-The usual. – Hermione replied. – Rather nasty case in the ministry.

Hermione loved working in the Magical Law Enforcement, she truly did. But every time they sent her to be an expert on a ‘special case’, the memories would haunt her for weeks.

-Murder?

-Suspected. And nobody has any idea what might have killed him.

-Who was the victim?

-A man, Sebastian Abbey. He lived alone, no family, no friends, recently released from Azkaban after two years of service for various small crimes – not exactly a celebrated member of society. That’s probably why he was found a week after he died. No one checked on him. They aren’t sure if it has any connection with magic, they called us because he was a wizard.

-What do you think has happened? – Luna was twirling a ribbon in her hands, wrapping it around her index finger, then unwrapping, then doing it again.

-I have no idea. Couldn’t have been murder, or suicide, or natural cause. But it sure is creepy.

 They climbed down the wobbly staircase, and it felt like it could break under their feet at any minute. The cellar was dark, and the smell of rotting and decay was overwhelming. The wooden floor was covered by dirt, dry leafs and old, yellow scrolls. And there, in the middle of the room, was the reason they were here – a body of a young man.

Avior, Hermione’s trainee, stood in the corner, eyes fixated on one spot. He was easily frightened and didn’t deal very well with stress, but it didn’t stop him from choosing his current job. Hermione wanted to encourage him, but she didn’t feel well herself. She almost had to force her own hand to move and direct the source of light to the victim. The dead man laid on his back on the muddy floor, his eyes closed, his skin grey and slightly wrinkled. There were no signs of trauma or struggle. In fact, he looked as if he fell asleep and passed away for no reason at all. Hermione has seen things much worse, during the war and at her work. Nevertheless, the sight was bothering her immensely.

-This place looks deserted. Like no one has lived here for years. – Avior said, cautiously taking a step forward.

-He returned from prison a month ago. – Hermione explained. – His name is, was, Sebastian.

-Did the previous team come up with any explanations?

-They haven’t got a clue. – She was waving her wand over the body, checking for any used spell. – That’s why they called us.

-Doesn’t look like a human could have done it. Could it be an animal, or a magical creature? Like a dementor.

-Dementors don’t kill. – Hermione replied. – They are only interested in the soul.

-Maybe it was an accident. I saw a cauldron in the living room. Many potions prepared improperly can kill. – He forced an awkward smile. – I was good at potions at school.

-I’m very happy for you. – She told him, only then realizing how sarcastic her tone was. – I’m sorry, Ave. I like this no more than you do.

The other workers soon arrived to take the body to a facility. They had specialists who could identify tiny traces of any substance, or any spell. Yet they discovered nothing. When they came back to the ministry, Hermione turned to the best source of comfort and knowledge she knew – a library. Her own collection was so extensive, finding the right volume was already a challenge. She spent the rest of her day with her books. She was so absorbed by the confusing, contradicting statements that her perception of time just turned off. By the time she got up from her chair, it was already late evening.

What was the mysterious force that killed a man right there, in his house, leaving no traces and no clues? She didn’t know, and it was making her feel uneasy and rather anxious.

 -When lost, look for someone who is lost too. – Luna said, then got up and started picking up the dirty dishes. She hummed a tune under her breath as she guided the plates into the sink with an upward motion of her wand. – Nevil will love the asters. They are about to bloom.

Immediately, Hermione understood what Luna meant.

-You’re right. – She said. – I’ll ask Harry about it.

-Say hi to thestrals from me. – Luna added, kissing Hermione on the cheek.

And a minute later she was gone from the room.

***

The Floo network between the ministry and Hogwarts was due for a renewal decades ago, but the wizards and witches in charge of budget kept postponing it. ‘We already have the Hogwarts Express to pay for!’ they said. Hermione wondered what they would say if they had to use the system, at least once in a while. She cursed under her breath, then sneezed, and a small puff of Floo powder erupted from her nose. Trying desperately to brush it off her robe, she climbed out of the fireplace and stretched.

The Defense against the dark arts professor’s office was empty and looked rather lonely. Hermione has heard that Harry didn’t use it very often, and preferred to spend his free time in the Gryffindor common room. It made the students increasingly uncomfortable, but no one wanted to talk to him about it. Twenty years later, Harry still couldn’t take a hint.

She found him in one of the classrooms, cleaning up after some sort of magical accident. There were tiny pieces of shredded paper everywhere: some of them smoking, some already burning. Harry was leaping from one pile of paper shreds to another, distinguishing the fire with swift motions of his wand, completely absorbed by the task. Hermione giggled, but he didn’t notice. She took her own want out of her pocket, raised her arm in the air and said:

-Scourgify.

And the mess disappeared. Harry turned on the spot and looked at Hermione as if she just did something absolutely inexcusable.

-Thanks a lot. – He said, and sighed. – Now I’ll have to set it up again for the next class.

-You mean this was done on purpose?

-Of course! I am simulating a snow storm.

-You do know there is a spell that creates snow, right? – She pointed her wand upwards, and snowflakes started falling from the ceiling.

-Oh. – Harry scratched his head, rather embarrassed. – Well, paper still looks nicer.

 They sat near a window and drank tea while a bunch of first year students had their broomstick flying class outside. Hermione smiled as she remembered her first try, and Harry’s ultimate triumph on that day.

-Oliver Wood comes to give a masterclass or two every year. – Harry informed her. – I go to Hogsmeade when it happens. He always makes me do a demonstration, and I hate that.

-Sure, because you can’t stand being in the center of attention, the chosen one.

-I’d love it, if I could fly as well as I used to. – He replied. – No, I’d rather stick to my own subject.

Once they have discussed all the recent news and rumors, Hermione was going to get to the purpose of her visit, but was interrupted by a girl in Ravenclaw robes sneaking into the classroom without knocking.

-Professor Potter? – She called, her hands clasped awkwardly behind her back.

-What is it, Jamie? – Harry asked.

-There are pixies in the corridor near the Clock Tower.

-No there aren’t. I checked. Twice.

-But sir, Lin and I, we saw them!

-If there were any pixies there, I would have found them. – Harry insisted. – I have been an auror, you know.

The girl giggled. – For six months.

-Have you been an auror for six months, Jamie? – He asked, a kind expression on his face.

-No. – The girl replied. – But I might be, when I grow up.

-You shouldn’t miss your classes then. Don’t you have Herbology right now?

She nodded, and turned to leave.

-Kind of tired of those pixie rumors. – Harry told Hermione when the girl closed the door behind her. – To be honest, I did hear some noise in that corridor. Hope they won’t actually find any. That would be embarrassing.

Hermione laughed. – You know, I am still a little bit shocked by the fact McGonnagal even allowed you to teach, with no experience and no recommendation letter.

-They don’t exactly have people lining up for this position. – He shrugged. – Besides, at least I do my job better than, say, a man with Voldemort on his head, or worse – Umbridge.

-Can’t argue with that. – Hermione smiled.

-So, might I ask you why you are here? – He asked. – Apart from insulting my teaching abilities.

-Oh, you should be pleased.  –She replied. – I am here for your wisdom and expertise.

He listened to her speak, and not a muscle moved on his face. Harry wasn’t easily disturbed. Maybe he developed an immunity, or maybe he just learned not to show it. Once she had nothing more to say, he shook his head.

-I’m sorry, but I have no idea. My only original guess was Basilisk, or something of the kind. There is magic that leaves no trace, but I am not familiar enough with that. I can list a dozen or so of potential spells, but I don’t think it will help you.

-Right. – Hermione frowned. – I guess we’ll have to postpone the case, until more evidence resurfaces. It’s a shame though. Maybe he wasn’t a very nice guy, but he deserves justice too.

Suddenly someone burst through the door.

-Professor Potter! – It was a tall, skinny boy with a Slytherin scarf around his neck. – Pixies! Near the Clock Tower!

-How many times…

-No, they caught them now. They really did!

Harry rubbed his eyes, thinking.

-Do I have to deal with it?

-It was your son who set them free though, sir. Headmistress wants to see you.

-I’ll be there in a minute. Now go, Augustus, go.

The boy nodded and left the room.

Hermione got up. – I guess I’ll be going. James is in trouble, probably.

-Three weeks at Hogwarts, already two detentions.

-You aren’t proud?

-He caused them all by accident.

Hermione smiled, but covered her mouth. – Like father, like son.

Harry didn’t react.

-Okay then, I’m gonna go see Neville. Luna gave me some aster seeds for him.

***

There were many things Hermione disliked: cruelty, hypocrisy, itchy sweaters, lukewarm tea… the list went on. However one thing never failed to ruin her emotional stability – uncertainty. Ambiguity. Mystery. When asked a question, she would spend her every waking moment thinking about it, until the answer was clear to her. People thought of her as an obnoxious know-it-all, but the truth was, absence of knowledge simply made her incredibly uncomfortable, so she strived to fill that vacuum. The problem began when a question existed, but nobody knew the answer. That’s when her need for certainty would get on her nerves.

She was biting her nails again, curled up in an armchair, and Luna noticed how tense and uncomfortable she looked. A minute later she was there with a warm blanket and a tin of sweets.

-Take one. – She said, opening the tin.

-My parents would be furious if they knew you are feeding their beloved daughter pure sugar.

-But they aren’t here. – Luna replied, and took one to demonstrate. – They taste like mint and lemon.

Hesitating for a second, Hermione took a sweet as well. Maybe it’s not very good for her teeth, but at least she isn’t biting her nails anymore. She wrapped herself in the blanket that Luna brought and made room for her in the big armchair.

-You look stormy. – Luna said. – Like a cloud when it’s about to rain. What’s on your mind?

-Oh, you know. The case. It’s bothering me so much! I just need to know what it was.

-Maybe it was tacita interfectorem. – She suggested. – It’s a wild spirit, lives under the ground, hides in there at night: in mole tunnels and in between the roots of trees. It doesn’t usually attack people, but when it does, they die instantly, and there is no trace. Blink of an eye, and that’s it.

-I appreciate your effort, but I doubt it was an imaginary creature.

-They are as imaginary as nargles. – Luna told her, slightly offended.

-Exactly my point. – Hermione nodded.

For a moment, they were silent.

-I wonder if the flavor of the quarks is a nice flavor or not. – Luna said, suddenly changing the subject. – I think their colors are pretty.

-What are you talking about? – Hermione asked.

-The quarks. The tiny things that electrons and protons and photons are made of.

One of the muggle sciences, quantum physics, was Luna’s latest obsession. She would go on for hours about the properties of Higg’s bosons and particle-wave duality of light, and to Hermione it sounded indistinguishable from her usual tales and fantasies. She found it hard to believe that those unfamiliar with magic could take these peculiar ideas and call them science, but then she saw Luna write a rather complex equation right on the living room table, and it changed her mind. She wasn’t surprised that out of all people Luna took interest in the area, and managed to make sense of it. She was a true Ravenclaw after all.

-Quarks have a spin, a color, a flavor and strangeness. And some other properties, too. I’ve told you about it a week ago, when we were outside in the garden.

-Yes, I remember. – Hermione told her. – And I still don’t understand it.

-Want to know a secret? – She asked, then leaned closer and whispered in her ear: - Nobody does. And if they say they do, they are lying.

Then Luna laughed, and her laughter was clear and melodic, like tiny bells ringing. It made Hermione feel warm and fuzzy.

-What did Harry say? Did he help you? – Luna asked, returning back to point.

-Not really. But I’m glad I talked to him. And being at Hogwarts was nice. Things are really changing there, in terms of equality. He said that back in April Slytherin students had to stay in other dorms because there was a stink problem at the dungeons again, and barely anyone protested.

-Was it Peeves that ruined their dorms?

-I think it’s just a natural thing. Maybe one day they will have to rebuild the whole building. Wouldn’t be a bad idea. The sewers definitely need a renewal – there’s a skeleton of a huge deadly snake somewhere in there.

-Are you gonna keep investigating?

Hermione sighed. – I don’t know. I think we will have to leave it unsolved.

-Okay. – Luna said. – Do you want to listen to the radio?

-With pleasure.

 They sat in the armchair together, wrapped in one blanket, with Vincent on Luna’s lap, and listened to Lee Jordan go on about the crisis in the broomstick industry – and in that moment, no evil existed in the world, or at least not in their home.

***

Sometimes Luna’s mind would play tricks on her. Sometimes her wild imagination kept her awake at night. She had a tendency to be haunted by the ghosts of the pasts. She found it hard to let go of old fears and heartbreaks. To this day every time she saw someone laughing, her first thought would be ‘they are laughing at me’. Hermione couldn’t relate. For her anxieties of the future were more common, and much more bothersome. But she always tried to support her the best way she could.

Luna woke up mere minutes before the first rays of sunrise touched the windows. She tossed and turned trying to fall asleep again, but it only made her feel worse. With a sigh she gently poked Hermione’s arm, and she immediately woke up, and looked at her, her eyebrows frowned.

-What is it? – Hermione asked.

Luna made a high-pitched, distressed noise. Words were difficult for her to process when she was worried.

-Dreams. Bad dreams. – Luna said, finally.

Hermione rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clocks. Six fifty three in the morning. There was no point in going back to sleep now.

-Dreams about what?

-Things that never was, never have been. – Luna told her, squeezing Hermione’s hand. – Parallel universes.

-Parallel universes?

-Yes. Other worlds, worlds that don’t look like ours. Foreign, and cursed. Not all of them, just the ones I saw.

-How can parallel worlds exist?

Luna blinked, gathering her thoughts. – They keep separating, with every decision that we make. Sometimes they are kind, and beautiful. Sometimes they are wrong. I saw a world where we never met, where you, and Ron, and Harry, and Neville haven’t been my friends. It was lonely. I don’t like lonely.

-Well, you aren’t alone now. – Hermione assured her, and they embraced.

-We’re Scully and Mulder, and we need each other. – Luna said.

Hermione smiled. – Sure, if you want to believe.

And together they watched the world drown in pallid pink shades of the young dawn.

***

Hermione looked to her right, then to her left, then to her right again. On one side of the table laid an enormous stack of parchment, her neat handwriting all over it. On the other was a second, even bigger stack, of blank parchment. It didn’t seem to diminish no matter how much time she spent working on it. And it was nearly lunch break.

Suddenly her decision to help everyone in the department seemed not very wise. She was trying to be nice, get people to like her, but now she just had a headache from all the paperwork. Perhaps she should turn people down, tell them to do their part themselves, but then they would dislike her even more. She stretched, and got up from the table. She will feel better after a break.

Before she had time to return to her self-appointed duties, there was a knock on the door. ‘Weird’, Hermione thought. Usually she didn’t have any visitors in the middle of the day, unless something bad has happened. And she definitely didn’t need any more bad in her life right now. Cautiously, she opened the door leading to her office.

Behind it was a short woman, casually dressed, with very long hair and dark circles under her eyes. She hid her hands in her pockets and coughed.

-Excuse me? – Hermione wasn’t sure about what to say. – Are you looking for something, or someone?

-Mmmm, yes. – The woman replied. – Can I come in?

Hermione shrugged. – I guess.

-Thank you. – She stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind her. – I’m Ruby, Ruby Whittaker. I’m here to collect the personal possessions of Sebastian Abbey.

-Oh. – Suddenly Hermione felt weak and pale, as if she alone was responsible for the man’s murder. – Are you his family member?

-Friend, or at least we used to be friends. We weren’t that close. – She quickly added.

-I’m sorry for your loss. – Hermione told her, as the only socially acceptable thing she knew for this situation. – Want a cup of tea?

-Sure. – Ruby said, taking a free seat near Hermione’s table.

 ‘Drinking tea is such a British thing’, Hermione thought to herself, mixing the brown liquid in her cup. ‘In case of emergency, put the kettle on’. She liked it though. There was something calming about the whole ritual, from boiling the water to adding milk and sugar. It brought confidence.

-I do not have the possessions here. – Hermione said. – We’ll have to descend two levels down for that. But I can talk to you about… it, answer any questions you might have.

Ruby was rather occupied by the photos on Hermione’s table: one with Ron and Parvati, one with Neville and Hannah, and the one where Harry and Ginny stood with all three of their kids, waving at the camera together.

-Are you Hermione Granger? – She asked, scratching her nose.

-Yes, yes I am. – She nodded.

-I have read that book about you all. I didn’t believe most of it, but I must say – your contribution to winning the war will never be forgotten.

Hermione felt awkward. It has been a lot of time since it happened, and less and less people would bring it up. This has been the first time in months.

-I was a second year student when it happened. I wanted to stay and fight but we were all evacuated. Sat it out safely while so many people died. It is sad. I just want you to know that people remember and people are grateful.

-Thank you. – Hermione finally made herself say something. She sipped her tea, hoping that part of the conversation was now over. – So, do you have any questions about the investigation?

-Not really. – Ruby replied. – I don’t have illusions about Seb. He was never a lawful citizen. It’s a shame though. He was a great student, brilliant at transfiguration. But he used his talents in the wrong way. He would sell transfigured stuff at the Diagon Alley for a lot of money, and as soon as the “happy customer” would come back home, the trinkets would turn back into a piece of rusty metal or something like that. He made a fortune on that. Too bad they took it all away when he went to Azkaban.

-Not all people have enough good in them. – Hermione said. – Doesn’t mean they deserve to die.

-Oh no, I’m not saying he deserved death. But I am not surprised he ended up like that. I really tried to help him, but he didn’t want my help. He just wanted more gold. – Ruby sighed. – I missed being his friend. I remember our time in the Hufflepuff dorm rooms, sharing secrets, exchanging chocolate frog cards. Good times.

Ruby looked up and saw a big Hogwarts banned hanging on the wall.

-I see you are nostalgic too. – She smiled.

-A little bit. – Hermione agreed.

-Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandes. – Ruby read. – Funny thing, I still don’t know what that means.

-It means ‘don’t tickle a sleeping dragon’. – Hermione explained. – It’s Latin.

-Latin?

-Yes, like ‘veni vidi vici’, or ‘homo homini lupus est’, or… - Suddenly she felt as though a light bulb lit up in her mind. – Or ‘tacita interfectorem’. – She murmured.

-What does that mean?

-Silent killer. It means silent killer. – Hermione got up. – Sorry, I need to go now. Knock on someone else’s door, they can lead you to the right place.

And without a reply, she stormed off. As she ran across the corridors, thoughts swarmed once again in her head, pieces of a puzzle assembling into one picture. Everything made sense now: the pale grey skin, the horrible smell, even Luna’s comment. She practically forced her way into Avior’s office, and he nearly chocked on a slice of pie.

-Lunch is over. – She told him. – We’re going to the crime scene.

 Apparition didn’t go that well for Avior – a patch of his hair was removed in the process. Now, while Hermione examined every corner of the building, he stood in front of a dirty mirror and scratched the back of his head.

-You’re okay? – Hermione asked, passing by with a wand in her hand.

-Sure. – He didn’t sound very convincing. – I wanted to get a haircut anyway.

-I think we need to go down there again.

He nodded, wrapping himself in his coat for comfort. ‘Should have taken that job in an ice cream shop’ he said to himself as they climbed down the same wobbly staircase.

-It should be here somewhere. – Hermione seemed to be sniffing the air in the room, very focused on her task.

-What?

-Silent killer! Ugh, I should have known from the beginning. It’s obvious!

-Not to me.

She turned around and looked him in the eyes. – H2S, hydrogen sulfide. It’s a colorless, poisonous gas. It can kill in a minute, and it leaves no trace. Except for the smell.

-The smell?

-The smell of rotting eggs. It must be somewhere in here, that’s where we found him. – One more minute of searching, and finaly success. – Aha! – She exclaimed. – Here. – And she beckoned Avior with her finger.

He came closer and cautiously sniffed the air, then immediately made a step back.

-It’s disgusting.

-We better move away. – Hermione added, stepping back as well.

-How can you breathe that in for a whole minute?!

-Your nervous cell start to die – after ten seconds, you don’t even smell it anymore.

-Huh. – He scratched his head, which reminded him of the bold patch. – So he must ‘ave been trying to fix something in there, breathed in too much, and died.

-This thing leads straight to a container filled to the brim with garbage. Perfect conditions for the gas to be produced.

-So there is no murdered then?

-No. It was an accident.

They paused. The whole event still seemed rather tragic.

 -It’s not pointless. – Avior said, when they were back upstairs. – This house was already bought. If you didn’t solve this mystery, the next owners could have died as well, or people who came to clean that thing. You saved their lives.

-Thanks. – Hermione replied. – But it wasn’t me who solved it.

-No?

-It was my girlfriend.

***

The evening was pitch black and unusually warm. Outside dozens of moths flew in circles around a lamp, pushing and fighting for a better spot, looking for god knows what. The kitchen smelled of cinnamon and ginger – Luna was making an apple pie. She hummed a tune under her nose, hoping from one spot to another. Hermione sat opposite her, knitting a hat, or maybe a sock. She wasn’t sure yet. It didn’t really matter anyway, she just liked the sensation of having the soft material in her hands, and the motion of the fingers.

-I wanna go feed squirrels tomorrow. – Luna said, adding some last pinches of spices into the dough.

-No problem. – Hermione told her.

-If we feed them tomorrow, October will be sunny and not too dull.

-What about the birds?

-The birds can feed themselves. They are wizards and witches too.

-Really? – Hermione couldn’t help but smile.

-Not all of them. Robins are, and so are magpies and crows. But not sparrows. No, that’s silly.

The pie was in the oven, and Luna joined Hermione in her seat. Every now and then they would share a kiss, or laugh at a silly joke, or simply look at each other, and see sparks in each other’s eyes. Hermione was never good at feelings, but she knew one thing – this is where she belonged. With another person, in her own house, where it was safe to be who she is.

-What kind of baby names do you like? – Luna asked, completely out of the blue.

-You want kids?

-One day. I like flowery names, like Lilly. Could we name our kid Lilly?

-That’s what Harry’s daughter is called.

-Right. – Luna frowned. – Okay then, what about Poppy?

-That’s our old school nurse, Madam Pomfrey.

-Hmmm. – Luna paused, then smiled. – I know! Rose.

-Rose?

-Yeah, Rose. It’s a lovely name, isn’t it?

-Sure it is. – Hermione agreed. – We will call our daughter Rose then.

-Uh-hu. – Luna confirmed. – We can come up with more names later.

Hermione nodded, and continued to knit.

The world could be a nasty place sometimes, but it had nice things too, and it was hers – or, rather, theirs. And their world was bright, complicated, exciting and absolutely, mind-blowingly beautiful.

[oranges8hands]

It's Morphin Time! (Power Rangers review)

spoilers for Power Rangers (2017)

side note: I only watched a few episodes as a kid so I’m not going to pick up on inside jokes/won’t be pointing out comparisons. // I’m white and not autistic so when taking about representation keep that in mind  // cw (lite): rape culture, suicide

much more enjoyable than the original breakfast club.

property damage

that was... a lot

and I’m not even referring to the big battle at the end; arguably they could have played it differently (and I mean that on both a watsonian and a doylist perspective) but Big Boss Battle, I give those passes, (superhero) movies tend to think they need them. (and are only so-so wrong.) But before that (and superpowers in general) we have: a damaged school/cow, a car chase at the school, a car accident, a mine blasting, a car chase at the mine, and a car-meets-train accident.

and while we see, yanno, happy survivors at the end, I’m wondering if they are going to address the major damage done to the town.

good thing they have masks. and knew to ditch out of there while still in celebration mode.

this was small town america, dependent on mining and fishing. (which - interesting choice of location because it made the movie very compacted, and it also stressed a lot of the push-pull of teenagers and their struggles. this should definitely become a theme as the franchise goes on - the desire to leave with the duty to stay and protect)  

I know! use all that fucking spent gold Rita left behind!

I mean the jewelry store can at least provide receipts but what’s the mine gonna say? “yeah, that chunk of arm definitely came from Shaft 37″

speaking of - they are so damn reckless!

so reckless!

and I mean it’s kind of great because a) how fitting for teenagers in general, like this movie is 95% of the time going “they are teenagers!” (with all the middle finger to mortality and boneheadedness and earnestness and finding your place/friends/family that comes with it), and b) because it comes in various forms to fit the specific characters well, and c) its great tactic for skipping over the whole “wtf superpower freakout”

but also - thank bob they got some magic healing stones cause they all almost die a few times before the whole superhero gig even kicks in. that car chase at the mine (both the recklessness and the loyalty of helping each other) is an excellent establishing intro to them cause wtf power rangers

like arguably the least reckless is Billy, who is introduced as bribing a kid to drive him over so he can blow up a mine in the growing dark that almost kills another kid (how did Trini survive that fall with barely a bruise? magic). and he’s the LEAST reckless. 

the real question - did he just happen to learn how to disable the tracker before this, has he actually done this before, or did he learn how before Jason came over that night?

but I say least reckless because the majority of his recklessness comes from love/loyalty - the mine visits originally for his dad, everything else for his friends

but we have Zack - taking care of a terminal ill parent and so his things are about pushing limits, that more, more, more (or out, out, out) feeling, being wild, flirting with that “death wish” - because that’s a way to act out his fear, that’s a way to be out of control in a controlled way (he can’t control that, but he can control this), that’s a way to say fuck you to death, that’s just part of his personality of ‘I’m gonna touch it’

100% he is the person who presses the red button that says ‘do not press’

also its funny that he just hangs around the mine; full assumption on my part but it fits if his mom got sick from the mine, and he - to avoid finding out if she dies during the night, if the last of his family is gone - visits the root of it

Jason: I think there’s arguably a few ways of looking at it:

the growing pressure of familial/town obligations of being the golden boy are too much, and he‘s acting out to blow off steam

how he touches his knee made me wonder if he was getting an injury, and (sub)consciously wanted to get out of playing more football, either because he’s afraid of damaging it more or because he thinks it’s better to get kicked off on purpose than have it fail him/have to leave for something he can’t control

small town football stars are the weirdest mix of celebrity/adoration* and teenager, and some people don’t handle that well and turn to other means to get that attention, and adrenaline

* adoration that is temporary and/or dependent on their skills

some combo of the above

but anyway he’s “dumb stunts” reckless, and brings other people (and cows) into it, and his arc as leader means figuring out a balance for that, bringing them to necessary danger but not getting them killed

Trini is “outsider” - and the movie supplemented that with actual queerness (more on that below); like she runs from the group, she questions whats really bringing them together (are we friends?), Rita pinpoints that as her weakness, her character arc/turning point is when she immediately tells the others. and her recklessness is towards the self, esp her body - like she trespasses into the mine to practice stretches/meditation, the train run (IIRC she’s the one whose like “eh, hope we make it”), she uses her powers to get away (did she know she could make that jump before she did it because her powers became apparent in less the ‘destructive of an item’ way and more like Zack’s in which it was pushing physics?)

I think its arguable she’s had issues with drugs. like the movie stresses three years for her (her growing distance/quiet coming with her sexuality questioning), and her mom just happens to have a pee cup on standby? that’s a long time period to keep testing a kid who never shows up as positive. I mean maybe her mom’s just reacting in more and more extreme measures and this is the latest version... also the way her dad intercedes with her mom’s questions, I wonder if that’s his natural role in the family or if that came out of therapy.

I really don’t think she’s presented as suicidal in the film, but I think there’s an underlining implication that can be read where AU this superpower thing didn’t happen she goes in that direction (she is isolated by her “other” status within her family, by being the new kid at school, and so on)

Kimberly is self-destructive; its thoughtlessness and impulsiveness (and meanness) coming out to swallow her and take who she can with her. cutting her hair, diving at night at the quarry, her “revenge porn” (and way more on that below), even breaking into Jason’s room to tell him about why she was in detention  

there’s no “is it superpowers??????” which I immensely appreciate; it’s “something weird is happening and we need to figure out what.” 

they killed Billy. and yeah, happy they bought him back, but they still killed him.

and since I hadn’t actually watched the trailer all the way through, and I feel like a Power Ranger died in the original series (no clue if that’s accurate), and Billy’s Black and on the spectrum, yeah, I thought it was going to last. 

his death was used for Zordon, Jason, and Kim’s character arc

I understand it was so each of the other four could carry him together, but the Jesus pose is still in way too many superhero and/or teenage protagonist movies

yeah yeah he was the heart of the team I get it; still could have done it without his death. or frankly Jason works, since he’s the leader (and its interesting that the heart of the group and the leader of the group are two different people) and everyone pulls together for the leader. but again, no death works

it made no sense that she killed him and left the other four alive. also I’m assuming she was powering the ropes to keep them in place but did it completely drain them of power? cause as we saw earlier, they can breathe underwater

David Christopher Bell pointed out that since The Dark Knight, villains need to a) not just kill the heroes but break their spirits and b) get caught as part of the master plan. and while the latter is the “reason” behind the scene - she needs to find the location, she somehow knows Billy knows (like she somehow knew Trini felt like an outsider) - the former ended up feeling like the motive for the scene. 

actually she hits a couple more on the list - we don’t actually know her motive for turning (beyond “feeling like an outsider”) and the narrative treats her like she’s “unhinged” for no reason.  

weirdly Zordon is not part of her motive? like him being “alive” is barely a sidenote to her

representation

well done Black Autistic Hero! like Billy uses the actual term (which is already more than a lot of characters do), he exhibits behaviors of it (speech patterns, special interests, joke recognition, touching, stimming, etc), and he’s a friggin hero (and no one questions his capability to be one)

so Jason is the main; he has more screen time, his emotional arc is devoted the most space, he & his are the the inciting incident - a. his introduction into detention is the opening change that starts the story and b. his dad brings Rita out of the water (though maybe she could only be brought out after the gems are found?) - and he’s the leader of the team. however, Billy serves as the heart of the team, and the movie (usually through Jason, non-negatively) points out several times that he is behind finding the gems, and he’s the one who brings Jason to the mine. so Jason is the main but if they had tweaked the script a little Billy would have been.

Zack is not stereotypical/usual. (first off he’s played by an actual Asian actor, ba dum tss). but he’s poor, small family, while he wasn’t given a romance he didn’t come across as desexualized, he exchanged just pure slugging it out punches with Jason (instead of the “all (East) Asian (men) know martial arts” trope), he’s not nerdy or an airhead (the two extremes for school tropes), he loves his mom and outside of caretaking we also see them enjoy each other (high five over their chess game), he’s super f-ing reckless (let me just jump on this speeding car wtf Zack you didn’t know you had powers at that point), when established they speak Chinese together they don’t suddenly switch to (accented) English because that’s too many subtitles for an American audience

Trini: queer Mexican girl. like, I’ve seen the arguments for both sides of this - on the one end: she’s questioning (and feels so alone in it) so it fits she doesn’t have a label for herself, and on the other there’s been a growing trend of movies getting points for the tiniest overt queerness. because this is an introduction into a franchise and she’s a main character and the crew/cast are vocal about it and while she didn’t have a label it was connected to her arc (outsider status/isolation -> group friendship), I felt more on the ok end of it, though I would have definitely liked at least a little more vocalization. And this is definitely dependent on how they deal with it going forward, and I also agree with people who think it was not enough, especially since they chose to have her character in the early stages of questioning her identity and while that’s a legitimate storyline it’s not the only one. 

a really good solution would have been to have Zack say he’s pan or bi.

more queer rep always

like, did you watch him? (flirting mode towards everyone: activated)

it means we see someone with a labeled identity and someone questioning, and it enriches the scene between them, and it gives more weight/overtness to her sexuality (aka the movie itself isn’t shying away from labels, this specific character is cause she’s still figuring it out) 

the start of queering them all. all of them.

Kim is played by a biracial (Indian & white) actress. I can’t really speak to how that fits into the romance trope - she’s not white (the “Girlfriend Role” works differently for WOC), but Asian women are hypersexualized (the gratuitous bra shot, with Jason looking on without her knowledge)... basically I’m not familiar with how Indian women specifically fit into this conversation and it’s really not my place to say. I personally felt they erred too much on the romance for her, because the scenes with her and Jason together felt much more tied to Jason‘s arc* than hers or both of theirs, and she felt sexualized in the movie in a way the rest of them didn’t, so overall I wish they kept it a little more subtle than they did. but again not my judgement to make in terms of representation.

* the hallway walk, the quarry scenes... those feel like the Manic Pixie Girl/Girlfriend Role (”let’s run, right now”) and since her arc was a little less clear than the others it feels like the problem with that stems from the romance, even if it didn’t necessarily.

However let’s talk about her backstory, the biggest twist in a movie I’ve seen in years.

raise your hand if you thought she was getting the ‘sexually assaulted and fought him off and former friends/mean girls attack her for being a slut’ story. *raises hand* and instead she leaked her friend’s nude to a dude with a sex-shaming comment (who spread it to the whole school and/or besides to the dude Kim sent it to the school). PLOT TWIST.

except lemme say - this is a huge violation. HUGE. leaking nudes is not just a mistake or a bad choice, its a violation and it affects the leaked person for the rest of their life and its a well deserved criminal offense. (at least Jason’s ankle monitor suggests there’s some kind of police punishment that came with the huge amounts of damage he did - though talk about a light sentence good thing you’re a football player/white dude - but her punishment is just detention?) and I definitely need a lot more on the redemption arc beyond ‘stops being a mean girl who doesn’t recognize her actions for as damaging as they are until the consequences are shoved into her face’, esp because she’s only partly sorry. She’s sorry about what she did, yes, I believe that, but there’s also several instances (like when their cafeteria dishes melt, or the car gets smashed) where she smirks when they get in trouble. (That she’s the victim in this situation.) And with that, the narrative smirks at them too, because they’re mean girls and they cut her out; except she’s in the wrong! she completely violated Elizabeth! they’re allowed to be petty/mean back to her! It’s implied she basically leaked the nude because ‘why not,’ she deserves to get some shitty treatment back at her!

one of the main rules was “don’t use your powers for personal gain.” IDK if this is going to come up in the franchise, but if it does I’m assuming - if it’s not the whole group -  it’s going to be either her or Zack. Zack because of his sick mom (external force), her because of her personality (internal force).

eta: in a convo with clari-clyde she pointed out that Jason tells her she’s not a bad person when yeah, she was a bad person. ("i would‘ve liked it better if jason said, you chose to be a bad person, but you can also choose to be a good person. you can make poor bad choices, building on that bad choice. or you can start making good choices, and start transforming yourself.”) and I agree.   Kim didn’t do a mean thing, she is a mean person (the photos just being the latest and a REALLY BIG DEAL), and the narrative both understands that weight (her self-hatred/angst is about it) while treating it as less damaging than it is (how it somewhat tries to victimize her, and by virtue of getting the stone/superpowers.) once we learn Kim’s backstory her power walk (after cutting her hair) back into detention takes on new meaning, and not in a good way; she’s apologetic in the scene with Jason, but we don’t really see evidence of that in her treatment of her actual victims. (its the common redemption arc of tv white dudes - the idea that feeling bad is enough to redeem them, as opposed to them actually doing something to redeem themselves.) and one of the reasons her arc fell a little flat to me is because her backstory (leaked nude) and her end result (being a power ranger) are really not connected, both in context and through the group. everyone else’s arc was interwoven into them becoming a group, while her arc was interwoven with Jason only.

and in addition to that, Jason “forgiving her” gets tied back into their romantic undertones (removed kiss or not), so that it comes across more as “I like you, therefore you are not a bad person,” instead of acknowledging she was actually a bad person, but she can make actual steps into changing that.    

Zordon & Alpha 5 downloaded the English matrix and can converse fine but “teenagers” is the one word to throw them off. which a) suggests Zordon and his group/people don’t distinguish that grouping - which makes sense, the term is only like a 100yrs old, but more importantly b) is beautiful shot at Marvel. I mean, I don’t know if that’s why they did it, but after that Civil War nonsense I’m reading it as one anyway. feel free to join me. 

music - a little uneven. like for the majority of the film it was unobtrusive, with “HandClap” during the training montage brought into the narrative with Billy and Alpha 5 clapping, and then at the end there was the tv theme song (fair enough) but it cut off quick, as did the other (loud) song during those scenes too, and the one after the other nature of it was abrupt sounding.

I liked the training montage.

ok, so Jason can fight, we see that (dodge the bully’s fist), plus he’s an athlete. and Kim is an ex-cheerleader (and apparently recreational diver), aka an athlete. (athletes in football and cheerleading tend to have: body strength, quick pattern recognition, inclined towards multitasking & teamwork, can take a damn hit, etc.) we see Trini doing a stretch routine and taking out Zack in the pit and both she and Zack are suggested to have some parkouring. Billy is probably the least experienced, esp when it comes to fighting (and notable he’s the one that gets the basic boxing/punching routine), but he runs around a mine and like the others seems to be a good swimmer. so it comes across as less unbelievable that they can pick this up, esp because for the most part their fighting strategy is to hit the dirt monsters until they fall apart and we see them practicing (over and over again) the specific move that took Rita down. (also I was literally thinking ‘what, they can suddenly move as one with no training’ and then the final evolution of their robot trips. I’ll give the movie some leeway on how they can control the dino bots so well - plus handwavy they’re plugged in and figured it out - because of that trip.)   

they also show injuries.

ok except for Kim and Jason’s shirtless scene, the camera (and clothing department) treated them like teenagers, like they shouldn’t be needlessly sexualized for (adult) audiences. it’s fucked up that this is special enough to note, but its definitely special enough to note. (and they still did the ‘guy looks at half-naked woman without her permission’ thing, which is not ok, yes not even to the same girl who leaked the nudes.) there was Rita - she shows more skin the “prettier” she gets, her outfit at the jewelry store was esp “where did she get this?” - but at least she wasn’t playing a teenager. (and I don’t remember her actions towards them being sexualized, but I may just not be remembering it. eta: she definitely does have the sexualized vibe going with her adult victims though.

it was a fair job with the product placement and shoutouts (like Bumblebee and Ironman/Spiderman - those are franchises it can be assumed their audiences know).

like Jason, you fucked over your football scholarship/college options, your family probably has to pay for the school damages, you have a police (though possibly just juvenile) record... they’re allowed to question your decisions. and your dad still ends up giving you a chance to have a car again. (after you smashed two in less than a month.)

this was a mix of parental awareness and not. like Billy’s mom* is there greeting (and noticing the school social group differences) at the door, but not that the missing (smashed up) van may be his fault. Trini’s parents are aware if ineffectual/ridiculous. we just get a glimpse of Jason’s mom and sister but we spend time on his relationship with his dad (whose paying attention to his kid and tries to rescue him), but he still sneaks out of his house (with ankle bracelet) and is gone past his curfew at least twice, if not every day of training. Zack’s mom is trying to keep track (checking if he’s going to school) but (assumed) doesn’t know he sometimes spends nights away from home (assumed after giving her her pills.) unless I’m totally blanking, we don’t know about Kim’s family, though she goes swimming at the quarry at night and cuts her hair etc without recognition. and they all spend at least one night (though is bonfire night and them meeting at the bleachers the same night?) away from home. and they all spend almost two weeks coming home with bruises/etc. 

* ok I thought he said both parents died in the car accident when he first tells Jason but then later he just talks about his dead dad so was that his mom or his guardian? (I’m trying to remember if he shouted ‘her name’s Trini’ with a relationship term at the end.)

they had some really great moments but: Trini and Kim fighting over the last bite. Jason slapping the bully (that was so fucking cutting.) Billy on the spaceship. Zack and his mom hanging out over chess. Trini with her brothers. etc etc.

so the time jumps - the gems keep them alive and put them to bed, but they don’t do things like fix the van.

I’m so glad Trini immediately tells the group about Rita’s deal, and the narrative doesn’t even try to have some possible betrayal shit, and Jason’s speech (we suck, but we should do this anyways) was a good choice

all the death and injuries are close up, within the group. even with big battle the ‘helpless citizen’ was shown through Jason’s dad. the group itself receives extensive (if sometimes recklessly self-inflicted) damage.

boob armor. (Trini’s brothers could have guessed Yellow was a girl considering that.)  

the actors did a good job, esp Billy’s

??? I always forget obvious stuff when I do these.

overall, I liked the movie more than I thought I would (ok not saying too much), and it had some great moments, but Billy’s death esp was cheap, there was some incongruent scenes that affected the rest/tone of the film, and the final fighting battles - esp in the dino bots (though let’s be real: I want one) - was a little ridiculous. but the movie did a good introduction, and it felt like it recognized teenagers in all their stupidity and grace, and I’ll definitely give the next one in the franchise a try.