#I’m a bit disenchanted by it all

[27goldensun]

.

[lovedrruunk]

‘Don’t be the one to break my fall

In which Jinx shows up to your doorstep looking like shit… she’s had a long night.

*this was written wayy before season 2 and is supposed to take place after she got resurrected by Singed .·°՞(≧□≦)՞°·.

You shivered a little as your feet landed on the cold floor. Turning to look at your alarm clock you groaned in annoyance. ‘2:00 AM, seriously?…’

You had been sound asleep cuddled up with your pillows just a few seconds ago, but that was before you were woken up by the persistent knocking of your front door. You tried ignoring it the first time… and the second… and maybe the third, but to your despair whoever was at your door was clearly stubborn.

So now here you were, sighing as you dragged your feet across the floor of your small home, making your way towards the door.

Standing on your tip toes to look through the peephole, your brows furrowed as you saw a familiar shade of blue. Hurrying to unlock the door you couldn’t help but groan again wondering what trouble she’d gotten herself into this time. But even the little bit of anger you had felt vanished the second you laid eyes on her.

There outside your front door stood Jinx. It wasn’t atypical for her to drop by at odd hours of the day, looking rough and nagging you to patch her up and kiss all her wounds better, but this? This was different.

Scratches, bruises, dark veins, cuts that seemed to have magically healed overnight, and weirdest of all, her eyes were a bright violet.

She stood still with her arms wrapped around herself. Her braids being blown by the wind, eyes avoiding your gaze. You snapped out of it when you felt your body shiver from the cold.

“So are you gonna let me in or are you just gonna stand and stare?” She asked softly. “I’m freezing out here.”

She spoke with a happy tone, but you couldn’t shake off how defeated she sounded. How exhausted and drained she looked.

Stepping to the side allowing her in, your eyes still fixated on her as she walked past you to lazily flop down on your couch. Usually you'd scold her for it, knowing her tendency to leave cushions and sheets dirtier than she found them, but this time you figured the cushions were the last thing in need of your attention right now…

You watched her let out a shaky sigh, sinking into the couch. Making your way towards her, you sat down slowly not wanting to startle her. Her eyes were shut with her brows furrowed, looking deep in thought.

You sat there for what felt like hours until she broke the silence.

“Sorry… About the couch.”

“You’re all good. Don’t worry about it.” You said brushing her off.

It suddenly hit her that she had been apologizing to you more and more recently. Jinx, jinx, jinx, ever the disenchanting one. It’s not like she liked disappointing you, it just came easy with being who she was. Although she could never figure out why you stuck around, she was sure of one thing, that you deserved better than this.

You were better than this. Better than being her shoulder to cry on, the person she runs to, the one always patching her up, getting her back up on her feet, fixing her. But at the end of the day she was the most selfish person she knew. That’s why she always came back, why she was now dirtying your stupidly expensive couch, why she couldn’t just leave you alone.

You were a saint in her eyes, an angel sent from above specifically tasked with keeping her sane. Well that’s what she liked to think anyway, because deep down she knew the truth. That it wasn't fair to you. You weren’t the one meant to bear her burdens, and she was painfully aware of that every time she ended up at your doorstep. She was a mess of tangled thoughts and somehow you never turned her away.

That thought scared her more than she'd ever admit. She didn’t deserve someone like you. Someone steady and kind, someone who looked at her like she wasn’t broken beyond repair. And yet here she was again, barging into your home and tainting it with all her ‘brokenness’.

She glanced at you, her gaze softer than usual. “You know,” she murmured as her eyes flickered away, “one day you’re gonna get tired of this.”

“Tired of you? Impossible.” You said with a light chuckle hoping to lighten the mood, even if just a little bit.

Sadly it didn't seem to work. Instead, she looked back at you, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips in a slight pout. Her eyes studied yours, almost as if she was trying to read your mind. After what felt like forever she finally looked away. Letting out a disappointed sigh she turned her attention back to the black TV in front of her, sinking deeper into the couch.

“I let you stay because I want to. Not because I have to.” You said softly, deciding to break the silence once you realized she wasn’t going to respond. 

She let out a scoff before chuckling dryly. “You just don’t get it.” She swallowed as her smile disappeared, voice dropping even lower than before. “But it's okay. I don't expect you to.”

You frowned. You were really trying to understand, but she wasn’t making it easy. “Then explain it to me.”

She looked away, her fingers picking at a loose thread on her pants. “It’s not that simple. You’re… good. And me?” She let out a sigh. “I’m just…something else.”

She paused, as if debating how much to say, then looked back at you, her eyes dark and serious. “One day I’ll do something you can’t forgive. And it won’t just be a few bruises or blood on your couch.” She spoke slowly, looking at you cautiously as if she wasn’t allowed to.

The words felt cold. You tried to stay calm, but her tone was making your heart pound. You were beyond worried. Of course she just had to be cryptic when it mattered most. 

You wanted to ask her what the hell she was talking about, what had happened, and why she was suddenly so miserable, but you knew she wasn’t the type to give you details, let alone answer questions. In the end she’d only get defensive and push you away, so you resisted the urge to interrogate her, deciding to instead show her support. 

 “Whatever it is, I don’t mind.” You tried reassuring her, shaking your head in protest.

Her eyes softened for a second, but she quickly looked away again. “For now.” she said quietly. 

The last words hung in the air as the room got quiet again. She sat back lost in thought, and you could feel the walls going up again, shutting you out.

You swallowed down the worry gnawing at you and let out a small sigh, deciding that maybe words weren’t what she needed right now. Instead, you reached over and took her hand in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her eyes flickered down to your hand in surprise, and you felt her fingers tense up.

She looked up at you curiously, studying your face. She opened her mouth, maybe to argue, maybe to say something self-deprecating, but then she just… stopped. Instead, she let out a long tired sigh as her fingers relaxed.

After a pause she suddenly turned her body towards yours, quickly leaning in to wrap her arms around your shoulders, hugging you tightly. Her head resting against the crook of your neck as her breathing slowed, and her shoulders loosened.

“You’re an idiot for sticking around.” she mumbled softly as she leaned her head in closer, but there was no bite to her words. In fact, you could almost hear a faint hint of relief.

You chuckled softly, your grip on her tightening. “I’m fine with that... Now let's get you cleaned up.”

. . .

HI :3333 this was rlly fast paced but its been in my drafts for awhile now so bleugh whatever VI FIC COMING SOON i gotta stop writing abt her ong i dont even like that girl

[letorip]

kiss with a fist [ii]

"Blood sticks, sweat drips, break the lock if it don't fit, a kick in the teeth is good for some, a kiss with a fist is better than none"

===+++===

pairing: tara carpenter x reader

summary: you signed up to help tara with her stupid plan. not whatever the hell one would call this.

warnings: implied sex, use of alcohol, puking, arguing loudly and wrongly, curse words(?)

word count: 5.2k

A/N: sorry to make you wait so long, but here's the second part. there will probably be a third, so fear not, the story doesn't end here. i originally thought i would be able to just end it off right here, but it’s going kind of really well and i think a third or maybe even a fourth part is more reasonable

===+++===

===+++===

For almost the entire walk to the frat house, Tara didn't actually say much. It surprised you too, the way she just glanced around the city that passed as you walked and fiddled with her nails. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but you were so used to Tara having something to say that it made you speak instead.

"Wow, for once, you're speechless," you commented as you passed under a streetlight. Tara shot you a glare, shoving her hands into her jean pockets.

"Would it kill you to shut the hell up?"

“There we go, back to normal. Why are you being weird?”

“I’m not being weird,” she scoffed. “Mind your own business.”

"I'm just saying."

"Well don't say. Don't say."

===+++===

The party fucking sucked. It was quintessential college, with frat boys who attempted to yell over the loud music that rattled your eardrums. Coolers upon coolers of shitty, cheap beer sat against the far wall, and a crowd had gathered around them to pick off all the free alcohol they could. Maybe a year ago this would’ve been fun. Now you found yourself disenchanted with the ordeal.

Tara was off god knows where, doing god knows what, which you figured was the point of the arrangement anyway. You weren’t too concerned with tracking her down, especially if situation also presented itself as a pleasant bonus— not having to put up with her.

Chad had wandered out of the room when he saw you and Tara arrive together hand in hand, going deeper into the party without a word. He was usually the one you hung around with at these kinds of things, but he had been a sad little dog with his tail between his legs since you and Tara announced you were meant to be a few days before the party. It seemed some of your friends were still adjusting.

The immediate reaction after Tara said “soooo, we’re together,” was to laugh, like you two were doing a bit. It got less funny when they saw you both blankly staring back at them and then Tara grabbed your hand and held it up with a forced smile.

The whole group was going through a somewhat awkward seven stages of grief thing. Chad was avoiding you completely, Quinn was a bit annoyed you were off the market now after an egregious few months of hitting on you, and Ethan was the only one to be a bit normal, even though it was clear he too had a crush on Tara and was disappointed with the matter.

When Mindy had gotten over her disbelief, she dove right into an endless game of questions, only occasionally staved off by Anika. "So who confessed first?" had been one of the first ones, accompanied by a glint in her eye. Tara jumped in before you could even open your mouth, eager to answer.

"(Y/n) showed up on my porch, all sweaty and disgusting looking, just smelling so unbelievably bad it was overpowering-”

“I had been working out,” you rolled your eyes. “That’s why I was sweaty."

“Mhm, whatever. Anyways, apparently they were just being such an asshole because they were in love with me," Tara said, with a wide, shit-eating grin. "Right?"

You had to hide your glare behind your solo cup. "Mhm. I was just overflowing with it. I have so many things to say about you."

“All nice things,” Tara corrected.

“Yeah. That’s what I said.”

“Was it?”

“Uh huh.”

Mindy’s questions followed you everywhere she did. Who kissed who first? Who’s more cuddly? Have you guys slept together yet? They volleyed back and forth and you and Tara fought for the first word each time to pin it to the other with gleeful sadism. Of course, it was then flipped around once the next question came and you would huff in annoyance at the other for being an asshole.

It wasn’t as bad of an arrangement as you had dreaded. You only had to be couple-y when other people were watching you two interact, or when Sam would glare in suspicion. Hold hands a few times, smile, share a glance. Other than that, things stayed mostly the same. The group probably appreciated you both not acting head over heels for the other and you liked it because it meant you didn't have to pretend to like her.

Tara had a brazen way about her that made you roll your eyes. She never took no for an answer, had a teasing remark for anything, and always felt the need to be doing something. Other people seemed to find themselves charmed by it. Others, but not you. Never you.

The walk there had been about all she could take of your personality, and the moment after you two were seen together, she ditched you at the door and wandered off to the dance floor. After that you had lost track of her, and ended up splitting your time between the kitchen, the bathroom, and the front room, away from the crowd. Mindy found you there, tugging Anika along with her.

"Cut the bullshit," She said with an eye roll, sitting right down on the couch in front of you. Anika plopped down next to her. "There's no way in hell you got together with Tara."

You grinned, sipping your beer and partially using it to block your expression. "No, we're together. I really like her."

Mindy scoffed. "You're a terrible liar." Your cheeks warmed and you tilted your head to the side.

"We have to separate you two like warring chihuahuas every time we hang out together," Anika said. She leaned forward and narrowed her eyes in a study of your face. "You're not confessing your undying love."

"I did."

"You didn't!" Mindy said, and she threw up her arms.

"I did."

"You didn't," Anika snorted.

"I...," you looked at them both, "...are you guys going to snitch?"

"Snitch to who?" asked Mindy. Now they were both leaned in, like eager children around a campfire. You swallowed.

"Sam." Mindy blinked. Then she sat back.

"What the hell did Tara get you involved in?" she asked. As much as Sam was part of your group, it was known not to fuck with her, and that's exactly what Tara was making you do.

You frowned. If anyone was going to ruin the plan, it probably wouldn't be Mindy or Anika. "You can't tell Chad, but we're not actually together."

Anika raised her eyebrows and shot Mindy a glance. "That didn't take a lot of brain power to figure out." You shrugged.

"Well, we fooled Sam. Tara needs a fake partner so she can go to parties and see people and stuff. And, well, you know how Sam is about that stuff."

Mindy crossed her arms. "And you said sure?"

You shrugged. "I mean, I didn't really see why not. Plus, she was being super annoying about it. Showed up at my house. She was begging, almost."

"So, you what, took pity?" Anika asked, giving you a look. You rolled your eyes.

"Trust me, it's not because it's fun. She's way too annoying and she'd probably say the same thing about me."

Mindy frowned, looking out the doorway and into the booming party. "Chad wouldn't like it."

You sent her a worried look. "Please please please, don't tell Chad. I know he's upset by the whole thing, but Sam would literally kill me if she knew I was helping Tara run around town."

"I don't know...," she said. "I know Tara wants freedom, but this is kind of bullshit, (Y/n)."

"It won't be for long. She just wants to meet someone. When she does, it's over. Life goes back to normal."

"Do you guys have a target in mind, or something?" Anika asked, a bit amused.

"Not even a little a bit. It’s like, her second party ever,” you shrugged. “I don’t know if she’s really dead set on a person yet.”

“Well… she better figure it out soon.”

“Mhm.” You looked out the same glass door and into the booming party outside. Through the jumping crowd, you could see in the distance Tara, who was dancing with her eyes shut and a smile spread wide across her cheeks. She looked happy like that.

You took a swig of your beer.

===+++===

The boom of a fist on your door shook the thin walls of your apartment, and you jolted awake to hear three more hit the wood.

“OPEN UP (Y/N), NOW!”

Immediately, a headache washed over you and you groaned. You tried to smush your head into the pillow to make it go away but there were the banging fists again, and you sat up, letting your legs dangle off the edge.

“OPEN THE FUCK UP,” came the voice again, and you blinked. Oh shit. You knew that voice. You clambered to your feet and stumbled out your bedroom and down the hall in a dusty pair of shorts and shirt. “I’M NOT KIDDING! OPEN THE���”

You pulled the door open like a deer in headlights, seeing Sam seethe on the other side with her fist raised. Nostrils flared, forehead creased, eyes narrowed. She looked about ready to rip your head off.

“You,” she said, spitting the word. You flinched. “Where the fuck is Tara?!”

Shit shit shit shit shit. Had she not gone home the night before?? Things felt a little bit fuzzy still. You remembered grabbing another beer from Ethan and flopping down in an armchair, then another and another, and then maybe wandering home while the sun started to rise. Had you seriously lost track of the attempted murder victim on her first night out???

You blinked, already aware that your cheeks were a dusty pink. "I, uh... she, um..."

Her hands went to her hips, glaring at you expectantly. "Well?! Where the hell is my sister?!" When you were still staring like an idiot, she threw up her arms. "I fucking knew I shouldn't have trusted you with her! This is what I get"

You stared, feeling a lie (though probably a clunky one) come to your brain. "I think her phone must've died, but she just left."

Sam's eyebrows rose, but you weren't sure if it was in disbelief or even more rage. "What do you mean?"

"We, um," your eyes went to the floor, feeling her glare laser itself into you as you spoke. "We got super drunk last night at the party, and I brought her back here and we both fell asleep," you looked back up to see her giving your pyjamas a once over, nose wrinkled. You flushed. "No! No— we didn't do that. We just fell asleep."

Sam looked at you for a moment, then crossed her arms. "I waited all night for her, you know," she said.

You nodded. "I know. I'm so sorry, it won't happen again."

"It won't." Sam repeated. "When I don't hear from her for a whole night, you know what I assume happened, right? You know how that feels?"

You swallowed. "I do."

She sighed. "I'm really trying here. I know she doesn't want me worrying about her, and I know she wants freedom. So I'm trying, (Y/n). Don't make me regret it."

"I won't, Sam." It felt like a giant wedge in your throat, and you tried to smile at her but she continued to frown, and she turned around and walked off. The moment she was gone, you spun around and slammed the door. You dashed through your apartment, grabbing your phone off your nightstand and quickly pulling up her contact.

Little Shit (do not pick up). You pressed the button and put it up to your ear, wandering over to the nearby curtain and lifting it to look out onto the city. "Come on, come on," you pleaded aloud. "Fucking pick up, asshole."

After the third ring and a good prayer to god even though you weren't especially religious, it stopped ringing and you could hear her grumbling.

"Tara??" you rushed. "Tara, where are you?"

"Mmm," she groaned, "the hell do you want so early?"

You scoffed. "Tara it's almost noon." There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"What?"

"Uh huh," you grunted. "Your sister just almost ripped my door off it's fucking hinges because she doesn't know where you are. And you know what, neither do I!" There was some shuffling from her end, and then what sounded like running footsteps.

"I went home with this girl last night, I just woke up," she rushed. "Sam is going to kill me!"

"She almost killed me!" You almost yelled into the phone. Now that the worry had subsided you were left with anger. "She almost killed me because you wandered off and didn't go home."

"It's not like I meant to fall asleep," she argued back, and you could hear some talking in the background in faint voices. "I must've slept through my alarm— wait, what did you tell Sam?"

"That your phone died, and you were on your way home."

"WHAT?! (Y/n), this girl's apartment is at least fifteen to twenty minutes away," Tara said into the phone.

"Well it's not like I knew that, now is it?" you shot back, scratching your arm, "considering I didn't know if you were even alive until you picked up."

"God, not you too. I'm fine, drama queen."

"Drama queen?"

"Yeah, drama queen," Tara repeated, and more noises flooded in. It sounded as if she was in the city now, walking, "you sound just like Sam. I picked you because I thought you knew I didn't need a babysitter."

"That's not being babysat, Tara. That's making sure you're not dead," you rolled your eyes.

"Well, I'm not."

"Good."

"Great."

"Fine!" you shot back.

"Awesome."

You sighed into the speaker. "Pick up some flowers or something on your way back. Claim that's why you're late."

"Good idea, actually," Tara hummed.

"I know." And you hung up.

===+++===

You found yourself at an identical party the very next Friday night too, and the Friday after that, and after that too. The walls were just as stained. It smelled just as full of mold. This one didn't have a front room for you to barricade in, so you sat at the bar top instead, in the kitchen with your chin rested on the cool granite.

It had taken a whole night to get rid of the hangover from a few weeks before, and in doing so you had remembered why it was exactly that you didn't find these things too fun, anyways. You hadn't gotten anywhere near as drunk since. Mindy and Anika had decided on date night instead, and Chad and Ethan were off to watch a movie that originally you would've been invited to, had it not been for Tara.

It was painful, that Chad was ducking you. The irony wasn't lost, that the more time you spent with your fake girlfriend at parties and outings like a couple, the closer you got to actually repairing your relationship with him. You still would've rather gone to the movie, though.

You could actually see Tara, from where you sat. Through the bar window in the kitchen, she was on the dance floor, moving along with the rhythm of hard EDM as best she could. It was a giant mob of people, all clumped up and hopping around in excitement, and you didn't especially want to be out there.

As you watched, a guy came up behind Tara, tapping her on the shoulder and smiling down at her. You thought nothing of it, until you got a longer look at the guy's face. In the revolving, multicoloured lights that hung over the crowd, you recognised him in an instant, standing straight up and weaving your way through the party.

"You having fun, Carpenter?" He asked, with a douche-y smirk on his face as he said it. You rolled your eyes, coming up behind Tara and standing right behind her.

"I—" but you interrupted her.

"She is, Frankie," you shot, staring at him and crossing your arms. Tara whipped around to you with a glare.

"(Y/n), go away," she whispered loudly. But you stood your ground.

"Tara, literally anyone but him. I mean, anyone—"

"That's not your decision."

"Sam tased him in the balls last time. I mean, come on, you have to know he's a douche."

Frankie scoffed. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"(Y/n) is just a—"

"—We're dating," you interrupted again. "So fuck off."

"No, we aren't," Tara shook her head. "Not really."

"Yes, we are," you nodded at Frankie. "Please leave. She's not sleeping with you tonight." He frowned, but started to walk off.

"That's not your decision, asshole!" Tara scowled and she reached out an arm to stop him. "Frankie, stay. You know what, I wasn't going to, but I will now."

"Frankie, leave. I mean it, you creep." You turned to her and glared. "Tara, listen to me, you—"

"No! Frankie, stay. Maybe I need the company," she shot back, narrowing her eyes. Frankie looked between you both, as did a few other people in the room who were starting to notice.

"They literally call him Date-Rape-Frankie, Tara. There's no way in hell you're sleeping with Date-Rape-Frankie. Frankie, leave."

"Frankie, no, stay. Well, what if I want to?"

"Then you're being stupid."

"Bold choice of words coming from you! You're not my mother."

"I'm not trying to be your mom, Tara. I'm using basic common sense. That guy is a creep and a perv," you pointed to him.

"Hey!" Frankie interjected, raising a hand to your shoulder.

"Fuck off!" you and Tara said in unison, dismissing him to glare right at each other.

"Well maybe I deserve the freedom to sleep with weirdos and whoever I want! I mean, who are you, the fucking sex-Nazi?"

"I don't have a problem with literally anyone else, Tara, but he's a weirdo!"

"Well then let me make that call! I'm not five. You don't need to baby me, I know he's a weirdo!" People were definitely staring now. You were both shouting, but a lot of it was drowned out by the EDM. It didn't stop others watching you point in each others faces and scowl.

"It's not babying you, Tara! It's basic caring! You have no clue about this shit, this is like your fourth party ever!"

"I've managed this far, haven't I?!"

"What, you want a cookie?!"

"Yeah, maybe I fucking do! I'm an adult, asshole! Let me do adult shit!"

"Wow, it's so adult and mature of you, to sleep with creeps and get hungover every Friday. How adult."

"Well, maybe it's not, but who gives a shit! I'm having fun for once! I'm being free without a fucking serial killer on my ass! I know you can't relate, but Christ, take the stick out from your ass!"

"Real nice," you shook your head. "This is what I get for helping you. Of fucking course." Before she could reply, you turned around and headed out the sliding glass door, into the fenced-in backyard. There was a pool back there, and you collapsed into a wrought iron pool chair, right near the edge.

People watched you warily, as you sat out there, but within minutes, the party was resumed. Even from outside, you could hear the thumping bass shake the windows gently as the glass moved in the panes.

There was a faint scent of petrichor from the small patch of grass out there, and the sky rumbled in the distance. It was peaceful out there, with small hanging fairy lights and the pool in front of you. You propped your legs up on the glass table and tried not to scream.

This was exactly what you should've expected, from Tara. Of course she would be selfish. Of course she would be brash. A part of you wasn't surprised. Disappointed, sure. But not surprised. You just sat there and tried to cool your breathing, watching the city lights in front of you.

You must've sat like that for an hour or two, just watching the city. It didn't feel like long enough. You might've even felt at peace, until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"Um...excuse me?" You craned your neck around, looking up in your chair to see a concerned guy looking down at you.

"Are you (Y/n)?" He asked, awkwardly scratching his neck. You nodded, confused.

"Uh, yeah? Do we know each other?"

"No! No, I was asked by Tara, I think was her name? She wanted me to get you. She's your girlfriend, right?"

The worry came back, and you stood up. "Why, what happened? Where is she?" Sam was really going to kill you.

"She's in the guest bathroom, I think she's sick."

===+++===

"Tara?"

"(Y/n)?" you heard a very uneasy voice on the other end.

"Can I come in?" you asked, and when there was no response, you let yourself inside. She was on the other end of the massive bathroom, leaned up against the bathtub with her head close to the toilet bowl.

Tara looked absolutely green, with her hair sweatily stuck to her forehead and eyes barely open. "Christ Tara, how much did you have to drink?" you asked in worry, coming to stand over her.

"Oh, just—" she gagged like she was about to puke and you bent down to grab her and tug her towards the toilet bowl. You spun back to the guy in the doorway, who stared at you both with wide eyes.

"Can you get me some crackers and Gatorade?" you asked him, sending a hopeful glance. He nodded and closed the door, and you turned back to Tara, who was bent over the toilet bowl.

You moved her gently and lifted the toilet seat up. "Are you okay?" you asked with a frown. You felt like an idiot the moment it left your mouth.

She raised her eyebrows. "Do I look okay?" Tara mumbled.

"Well, no."

"Thass' good," she slurred. "I had too many," she hiccupped. You nodded.

"I'd say so. How much did you have Tara?"

She giggled. "This many." She held up four fingers with a giant, toothy grin and slumped with her arms encircling the toilet bowl.

"Since when?" you blinked.

"Since you got allllllllll pissy!" You sighed, hands going to her hair and pulling it back. She wrinkled her nose at you. "Why are you touching my hairrrrr?!"

"So you don't vomit all on it, idiot," you replied, shaking your head. Tara huffed.

"I'mnuh gonnuh puke."

And then Tara puked. Everywhere.

===+++===

You both sat there, that way, for about ten minutes. Tara vomited three times, during that span, and when she was done, you handed her the crackers and Gatorade and told her to do her worst.

She downed them in another fifteen minutes, sitting in the bathtub and eating while you sat leaned up against the bathroom wall, across from her, just in silence. The sounds of the party seemed to have died a little bit as the night droned on, and by now people would be wandering home or to someone else’s place.

While you waited, you shot Sam a text, letting her know you’d bring Tara home and that she was okay. Sam didn’t reply but she saw the message, and you figured that was good enough. When you checked the weather app, Tara finally spoke, coming to her senses a bit with more food in her system.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, staring down at the package for the crackers in her hand. “Thanks.”

You shrugged, staring at the toilet in front of you. It probably reeked in there, but at this point you were nose blind. “For what?” You meant for that to be it, just a small little acknowledgment, but Tara shook her head.

“Thank you for that. For being here.”

She stared right at you when she said it, and you knew she meant it with conviction. You nodded. “I know we don’t always get along, but I had your back, back there.”

“You have my back?” she asked, smiling a little and grabbing her Gatorade from the edge of the tub.

“I agreed to help you, didn’t I?”

She paused for a moment, then nodded. “You did, yeah.” Tara looked over at you, then tilted her head to the side. “I still don’t get why, though.”

“You were honest, for once.” It came from a surprising place, and you said it before you entirely knew you were speaking. You didn’t completely know what it meant either, until after you said it, but the words passed between you almost like a new understanding.

A few moments of silence came and went, before she spoke again. “I walk silently places at night in case I hear I’m being followed. By Ghostface. Same thing as when I’m home alone. I don’t do it as much anymore, but I still do it sometimes. Don’t tell Sam, please please please. She’ll make me go to therapy.”

“Okay,” you said, nodding gently. You leaned your head back up against the wall, craning it up to look at the ceiling.

“Why are you being nice to me?” She asked. You laughed, tracing the popcorn pattern of the roof with your eyes.

“I’m not the devil, Tara.”

“…Neither am I.”

“I know,” you said, and you reached your arm out for a cracker. She gave you one and you crunched down on it, while an especially large bass hit came from the speakers outside. “God, this music fucking sucks,” you groaned.

Tara nodded. “It’s really hard to dance to.”

“Well,” you shrugged, “it didn’t seem like you were struggling earlier.”

Tara frowned, then tilted her head in curiosity. “What’s your favourite song?”

You raised your eyebrows in amusement. “Why?”

“Just wondering,” she said.

“Okay… you’re going to laugh, though.”

“Am I?” she grinned. You nodded.

“Do you know that one song, The Promise, by When In Rome? It’s from the 80s, it’s super cheesy?”

She stared off for a moment, in thought, then shook her head. “Don’t think so, how’s it go?”

You rolled your eyes, but began to quietly sing it in a tone that wavered in between spoken word and humming. It was terrible and you were tone deaf, but it was the song. “If you need a friend, don’t look to a straaanger. You know in the end,” your voice broke a little at the low note, and Tara giggled but you continued, “I’ll always be thereee.”

“Wow.”

“Mhm. And then it skips a little bit and the chorus goes, ‘I’m sorry but I’m just thinking of the right words to say, I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to beee.’”

She cut you off with her hand, laughing hysterically. You felt your cheeks flushed, and in any other time you would’ve been annoyed with her laughing at you. But this didn’t feel mean. You just smiled right back.

“That was good, actually,” she managed, between small laughs. “Why is it your favourite?”

“Um,” you shrugged, “my brother used to sing it to me, years ago when I was scared.”

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Tara said, leaning her head on the tile wall of the tub.

“I have six.”

She blinked, then sat up straight. “Since when?!”

“Always, Carpenter,” you shrugged. “Everyone knows.”

“Everyone who?”

“Chad, Mindy, Anika. Even Quinn.”

“I didn't know. How come you never talk about them?”

”I just don’t,” you frowned. Tonight was definitely not the night to get into that. Instead, you pivoted topics. “Why, what’s your favourite song? I showed you mine, now you’ve got to show me yours.”

“I’m ninety nine percent sure that’s not how that saying is used,” she laughed, “but fine. When I was crying as a baby, my mom sung me this song, called Baby, I Love You by The Ronettes.”

“Don’t think I’ve heard of it.”

Tara shook her head. “Probably not, but they’re the same group that does that one song Be My Baby?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Apparently my mom had Baby, I Love You playing in the hospital, when I was born and everything. It’s kind of comforting. When I miss her, I play it.”

“How often is that?”

She shrugged. “More than you’d think, considering she’s a giant asshole.”

"That's always how it is."

"Mhm... and just so you know, I know Frankie was a creep. I wasn't actually going to do anything with him. Just flirt. Have fun."

"I know. I wasn't trying to babysit you, I just wanted to warn you. That creep has so many stories."

"I know. I just don't like being told what to do, sometimes. It's a whole thing. I'm working on it, seriously."

You didn’t know what to say to that, so you didn’t say anything at all. You both sat in what you assumed was a prolonged silence, until you looked down finally to see Tara’s eyelids falling heavy.

You stood up with a sigh. “You should go home.” There was no reply, and you checked out the small window in the bathroom to still see it was pitch black out. It was definitely too late to send her home this sleepy, and after the incident a few weeks ago, there was no way Sam would let her stay at yours. “Tara,” you nudged her.

She groaned, rolling over in the tub and snuggling up. You rolled your eyes, then looked out the window one more time with an annoyed grumble.

===+++===

The longer you had to walk with her on your back, the more you regretted this. Her arms were wrapped around your neck, face pressed onto the back of your shoulder and knees held up by your hands. You couldn’t see her, but you knew her eyes were shut and she was super close to being actually asleep.

"We make a good team, you know," she mumbled into your shoulder. You knew she was being funny, but you were too tired to laugh as you trudged up the hill. Carrying a drunk girl home was not at all what you had anticipated of the night, and though it had been shitty at the beginning and shitty until almost the very end, you could definitely say it wasn't shitty right then.

When you arrived at her apartment complex, Tara was soundly asleep and Sam came out to meet you both, taking her sister from you and stumbling with her towards the door. In the distance, right over another hill, the sky was already beginning to lighten up a bit.

Right as both Carpenters reached the door, Tara stopped for a moment to turn back to you with a smile. "Thanks, babe," she said with a cheeky grin that was only half awake. You smiled back.

"You too, babe."

Sam rolled her eyes, pulling Tara through the door. It was a pleasant night, still with the same faint scent of rain oncoming. In your weird, newfound peace as you walked home yourself, you didn't see that Quinn was watching you from the upstairs window.

===+++===

so that was fun lmao. anyways there will be a part 3 but you and tara are kind of maybe friends now? now it's time for feelings 😈

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - All's Quiet on the BL Front

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 3 of 12 - I love how were getting a solid depiction of two queers just genuinely enjoying sex with each other. That’s actually rare in BL. In this case, it manages to also be weirdly adorable and cute.

Dee is such a tease. I guess Y likes a brat? 

LOOK at those bedroom eyes!

Linguistics corner: when these two are being serious, sweet, or flirty with each other they use rao/nai which is kind of old fashioned and charming and not common in BL. They move pretty seamlessly into gu/mueng and back depending on the style of convo, tho. It's FUN to hear them talk.

Let the fake relationship commence!

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 eps - I HAVE THOUGHTS. I'm really enjoying the sinister backbone of this show. I hope they have the courage of their convictions in that regard and lean into a kind of sexy evil revenge narrative. It was a pleasure to watch the break up and I do not want a redemption arc for Ming or a romance for us. Fuck 'em, let’s just ride a revenge train, okay Joe baby?

That’s said, I totally sniffled at the ending scene where Ming (for two years!) has been paying penance cooking for two and waiting alone. Excellent pathos. Now, I understand how they're gonna make this a full 12 eps. And I’m excited about it. Carry on!

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 7 of 16 - I wasn't a fan of Winny & Satang in My School President but I'm loving them in this. The thing with Q, Toey, and Chain had me hooting with laughter. I think I’m finally just easing into the relaxed absurdity of this show. The key is not to expect anything from it. Just them being tiny gay idiots.

Two Worlds (iQIYI) ep 10 fin - Someday I’d like to really enjoy a MaxNat show, but today was not that day. (I feel like ever since Between Us I’ve been generally disenchanted with established OG pairs and what they’re bringing to the table. Perhaps that’s a discussion for another day. Cherry Magic excepted, of course.) 

OK, so this final episode, they sure tried to fit a lot in. But that made the pacing better for me. So I kinda liked this weird cliff notes resolution to the story.

In conclusion:

MaxNat do a credible job with a messy script about parallel worlds, gangsters, and strange diseases cured by forest fruits. It sounds confusing because it is. The chemistry is excellent the side pair is entirely forgotten about, and one could drive a Tardis through the plot holes. Still, I found it modestly enjoyable if not at all rewatchable. 7/10 

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 6 of 12 - I do love how bold and brash Moo is. He’s truly a great character, such an utter outgoing sunshine puppy focused on his pursuit of his older boy. I'm charmed by his utter harmlessness. They gave us a sweet coming out scene, and an awesome supportive mom. Frankly GMMTV has a good track record with moms. (With a few noted exceptions, of course.)

That said, I do keep forgetting this is a GMMTV offering. It just doesn't FEEL GMMTV. Just me?

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 1 of 10 - Starts tomorrow, will report on sitch next week. LeeFrank are back - not unlike the undead. But how do we feel about it? Unsure given their track record.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - I like it. I like our sulky 2nd lead. He’s pouty, adorable, brash, and adding some much-needed tension to this narrative. The blurring lines between show within a show is a lot of fun. Probably the best I've seen done in BL so far.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like that we got backstory, but we also sort of already knew it. So this ep felt a bit like filler. They are wonderful when they’re on screen together but when they aren't it's a bit dull. I hope we just get them together for the next 4 eps. But this is Japan, so I doubt it.

Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - The image resolution on this show (via Iqiyi ) is terrible. Meanwhile, awkward crush. Jock nerd pairing. Dorky. Maybe a bit too much awkward/dorky for me? I'm not sold on this one.

Meanwhile the ordering then not eating or drinking of food continues. Very upsetting.

Boys Be Brave (Korea Viki) eps 5-8fin - This show was just never sure what it wanted to be. Slacker sunshine KiSub moves in with nerd JinWoo, mostly because he knows JinWoo likes him but won't confess and that's never happened to him before. It reminded me of some earlier KBLs like Behind Cut, yes is had bones but not much flesh, so it only just hung together and progressed through not very much plot in a jerking rattling fashion like an animated skeleton. All the story and chemistry was with the side couple and none of the screen time. That just annoyed me. What did this BL want to BE? Who tf knows. I, for one, don’t care, and resolve to think no more on it. 6/10 

Blue Boys (Korea Sat YouTube) - This ended at 4 eps on a cliffhanger. Since this is a very small studio I don’t have a lot of faith in there being a part two. But they have bundled both this BL, and the GL, bingable chunks on YT. So if you want to binge it, it’s there. Just be aware that it ends on a cliffhanger.

My thoughts?

Promising reunion romances full of class and coming out struggles but I grade with what we got, not on expectations, and you know I HATE a cliffhanger. So yeah, it HAD promise but as of now it gets a 4/10 - fatally flawed. I reserve the right to change my mind if they amend for damages.

It's airing but...

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

A Balloon's Landing (Taiwan movie) trailer - A frustrated Hong Kong writer, Tian Yu, meets a Taipei street gangster, Xiang (Fandy Fan from HIStory2: Crossing the Line), and the two of them embark on a journey to find the Bay of Vanishing Whales. Along the way, they discover unexpected twists and turns and close bonds, which brings out the message that "there is always someone like you in this world who is waiting for you. This released to cinemas in Taiwan, no word on international release.

In case you missed it

A really really thorough and fascinating article on 2 Moons 2 and what happened.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

May Releases

VBL (Taiwan) is releasing 4 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 shows every Friday this month on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu. Not sure on search terms or how to find these. (Or, frankly, if we need them.)

5/10 – You Are Mine

5/17 – VIP Only

5/24 – Stay By My Side

5/31 – Anti Reset

5/25 The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer - HoTae & DongHee are back but unfortunately not in a cinema near me. Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS.

5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer

5/30 Knock Knock Boys (Thai Thurs WeTV) - I'm hoping I can get it elsewhere since my WeTV account is inactive, but I do love Best and I'm interested in seeing him in a new pairing. That said, I'm not wild about Seng... so I won't be too cut up if I can't get hold of this. More here.

5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I'm a sucker for this king of casual claiming. (Only Boo)

It me! (Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @sunflower-positiiivity @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[strawbxttries]

so in seventh grade i used to listen to a lot of my chem songs but never looked too closely into the lyrics or the band itself, so i used to just pick up stray lyrics with no contexts and made up my own interpretations. and so i’ve decided why not, let’s write them down for tumblr to see. I’ve never checked the Genius pages of these songs, so I’m not sure how accurate I was with these

DISENCHANTED

“we watched our lives on the screen; i hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene” i interpreted it as the narrator commited suicide, hating their life in the end, but they enjoyed their childhood.

“About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay” I thought it was a critique of America’s shitty healthcare system

I’M NOT OKAY (I PROMISE)

“You sing the words, but don’t know what it means” in seventh grade, I was super insecure about being called a poser (i totally was), and spent hours tossing and turning over these lyrics because I thought gerard was getting mad about people who didn’t relate to these emotional songs singing along, because they didn’t really understand the meaning behind the song so they’re not allowed

TEENAGERS

“But if you’re troubled and hurt; what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did” I think I got this one right? I’m not sure—I haven’t checked the Genius page, but I think it’s referring to a gun, and killing all the bullies as revenge

BLOOD

“Well they encourage your complete cooperation; send you roses when they think you need to smile” I thought it was a bit of a metaphor about the military, or the government, who force soldiers to suck it up for their nation.

“So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff; Give them all that they can drink, and it will never be enough” thought it was about how these governments are so hungry for war that they’re blind to all the bloodshed and lives lost that had happened because of it.

“A celebrated man amongst the gurneys; they can fix me proper with a bit of luck” soldiers are celebrated men for their service, but because he’s dead, he’s celebrated amongst the gurneys.

THANK YOU FOR THE VENOM

“I wouldn’t front the scene if you paid me; I’m just the way that the doctors made me” I thought this was about how he thinks that the scene is a bit fake and superficial, and he does not want to be the face of it/in the spotlight. and the second line was about how he’s basically artificially crafted to be this way.

yea anyways those r js silly 12 y/o me’s thoughts! i might do songs from other bands l8er. if y’all have any of ur own interpretations, i wanna see em!!

[hyperpsychomaniac]

Things I wanna see second half of season 2 in Lego dreamzzz:

More Logan beast crafting. Like I didn’t even realise that was his power until this season he was so bad at it. But like… him learning to control it… which will probably involve him getting a handle on his emotions cause they are definitely tied.

More Logan and Astrid.

Mr Oz getting increasingly frustrated with being trapped in a dome (every time you go to sleep you are trapped in a small area with everyone from work I find this terrifying)

Night Hunter dealing with being in an enclosed space with literally all his enemies. Something like ‘well I’m a man with nothing to lose EVERYBODY FIGHT ME’. Royce or Mr Oz or someone in charge being ‘no this is not a good idea’.

Mr Oz and Beau getting in a shouting match/argument over all the water under the bridge. Bonus if it ends up being (legitimately) angry disappointed boomer vs. angry disenchanted millennial flavoured.

Mateo pointing out they literally have no choice but to let the Brooklyn branch deal with things now ( the fact the show set this up so that after Royce was so dismissive they now have no choice but to depend on and support the Brooklyn kids is pure gold)

More detail on what went down when Beau betrayed them. Because I realise that bit of the story was told by Mr Oz but he wasn’t actually there for it he woke to help Hannah. Did Beau just straight up give the Nightmare King the sword and swear his allegiance??? Did he try to fight him with the sword and he failed and have to improvise? Did he make a deal with him in exchange for the sword???

[slavghoul]

Slav, do you ever just get the feeling that Ghost is getting turned into everything it shouldn’t be? I have always frowned on gatekeeping things and exposure is good for a band’s success etc but it’s putting me in the mind of all of the various things in the world that were ruined by too many tourists. Like national parks getting trampled or famous statues being discolored after everyone needed to touch it. You know? To be fair I’m a chronic overthinker but I can’t help but feel like I’m witnessing it (the fan side, not the music itself) being twisted into exactly what Tobias would hate.

This response came out VERY lengthy, I apologize in advance.

To answer your question shortly: yes, I do feel that way sometimes. However, I would be hesitant to involve TF in this discussion because I don't know him on a level that would allow me to gauge his true feelings on any particular matter. If I were to say "I hate it when Ghost fans [blah blah blah], because he would hate that!" it would only be an attempt to justify my own opinion about something, not a genuine concern for his feelings. Implicitly, I would also be shaming other fans and making them think that they are enjoying the band "the wrong way" when in reality, they simply enjoy it differently than me. That's unfair because I have no right to dictate how others should perceive Ghost. Everyone's experience with the band is unique and personal to them, and I have no authority to infringe upon that.

I think the sort of disillusionment that you describe is a common experience when you're a fan of virtually anything and it evolves. There's no solution for it. It just is what it is. The question is, to what extent is it a result of the band "being turned into something it shouldn't be" and how much of it is simply due to our own personal sense of nostalgia?

If you became a fan of the band several years ago, you'll likely always look back on those times through rose-tinted glasses. No other experience will ever compare to the emotions you felt back then, because they were formative and unique to that time in your life. You may continue to enjoy the band, but it's unlikely that anything will be able to replicate the same level of excitement and anticipation you felt when you were first introduced to them.

Of course, it's true the band has evolved and there's no denying that the community has undergone a significant shift over time. If you had seen them in concert a decade ago, the majority of the audience were people in their 20s and 30s. You had an odd kid here and there and the occasional, let's say, 'senior citizen' headbanging, but majority were young adults. It made for a very different dynamic which was also reflected in online spaces in terms of what was being discussed, how it was being discussed, and what the focus was on. These days, Ghost attracts a much wider age range with a significant portion of their current fans being on the younger side, pre-teens and teenagers. That's fantastic actually, I am very happy that is the case and I welcome them all. However, being 30-ish myself, I simply don't enjoy things in the same way they do and I don't focus on the same things they do.

It's very easy to become jaded when that's the case because you start to feel like you're no longer part of the target audience, and that can be disheartening. I make a conscious effort to prevent that from becoming an issue for me because I love Ghost dearly. At its core, it is still the same band I fell in love with. TF is doing exactly the same thing he has always done, but now on a larger scale, obviously. It's not being transformed into anything it hasn't been before. It's a bit more commercialized, sure, but that's not a crime.

Basically, it's up to us to decide how we want to engage with what is being offered. You need to find a way of consuming Ghost in a way that is comfortable to you or else you may get disenchanted very fast.

At the risk of sounding like a giant dick, I will admit that I intentionally stay away from the fandom and don't follow anyone because.. man, it's actually impossible to say this without sounding like a dick.. because I don't see eye to eye with majority of other fans and it taints my experience if I see too much of what others are saying or doing. To reiterate the point I made earlier, it doesn't mean that others are doing anything wrong and I'm doing it right; no, we are simply doing it differently. I made peace with the fact that I can't control how others act and that's completely fine. I live in my own little Ghost bubble, which, although solitary, is a tranquil place. I decide what I want to see and what I want to share, and who I want to talk to and about what. That's my way of remaining levelheaded and keeping the thoughts you describe at bay.

Apologies for crafting a whole ass high school essay on this fine Friday evening.. if you know me you know that I think and talk a fucking lot, hehe. I don't even know if anything of what I said makes sense, probably not. If you're still reading, thank you and sorry!

[dakotawritesif]

Hello, dear readers! Small update once again. Plans were set back because I had a rather large cyst rupture and cause an infection in my left ovary. Things were a bit dicey for awhile, but I’m on the road to feeling better luckily ❤️

I plan on posting the things I was catching up on throughout the day tomorrow, including some RO themed stories and prior commissions. The RO POVs will be posted the following day, most likely, along with the spicy side story.

The large Fallen Lights update is coming this Saturday! I had wanted to get it out sooner but unfortunately my health really got in the way.

Disenchanted is also creeping up, so be on the lookout for that ;)

As of tomorrow, Patreon will be back up and running and I’ll post polls for the month of November within the next few days.

Thank you all for your patience and well wishes, they mean the world!

[meatclown69]

Currently working on a weirdo little Dale x Reader fic that’s also a bit of a character piece of the protagonist and an exploration into repression, depravity, and acceptance (of yourself and by others). Feeling disenchanted and out of place, constructing a mask to feel normal around other people! All that good stuff.

This may just be a weird roundabout way of working through some of my deep seated issues but that’s what art is for!!!

It’s a bit graphically violent in its language sometimes but so far nothing physical has actually happened yet!! Working on a spicier chapter as we speak, I’m very happy with the Dale characterization in it :3

Give it a read if you cheese :3

[anjaelle]

Nectarine

Pairing: Tangerine x Black!OFC (Unnamed)

Warnings: Unprotected P in V, Smut, Filth, Drugs, Alcohol, Almost attempted murder.

Word Count: 1.8K

A/N: In my mind, this is the first time something like this has ever happened to him and he can't deal. He'll have to simply kill two people instead of one now.

Smoke on your skin to get those pretty eyes rolling

My thighs are apart for when you’re ready to breathe in

Suck me up I’m healing for the shit you’re dealing

High, motherfucker, get your mouth open, you know you are mine

-x-

He felt absolutely wired.

He placed the tab on his tongue, and tipped his glass between his lips. It took a while for it to kick in. He was sure it was because of his high tolerance.

"Well shit." He mumbled, fully aware that he was going down that route again. He quickly pushed the concern to the back of his mind, choosing to focus on the warmth in his chest from the vodka and the bass vibrating through his body.

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Tangerine loved to dance. The last time he had a target in a place like this, he made the mistake of doing a few lines of blow and losing about 2-4 hours on a crowded floor.

Tangerine had a semi-clear head tonight. He had about an hour and change to find his mark and meet Lemon back at the hotel. He checked his phone again to scroll through his messages and find the original request. Some old fart put a hit out on his girlfriend that he suspected was stealing from him and cheating. The reaction was unwarranted. Overdramatic and low stakes, even. But it was good money and he wasn't being paid to judge.

All he had to do was slip something in her drink and leave. It was one of the less messy tasks, and he was just happy he would be able to finish in time to get some sleep. Slipping the phone back into his pocket, Tangerine scanned the crowd again looking for the middle-aged blonde from the photos when his eyes distractedly landed on someone else.

He saw her in the middle of the floor, dancing with a guy who could barely keep up. He had his hands on her hips and she grinded into his pelvis with the slow sensuality of someone who barely registered that he was there. Her eyes were closed, and her lower lip was latched between her teeth, as she rode the rhythm of the song. She was the only one in the vicinity wearing jeans and sneakers and he wondered how she got into a club with such a strict dress code. He suddenly felt self conscious in his suit, which was an extraordinary fucking feat in most circumstances.

The only way she could get in was if she had an in. Who was she here with?

When the song changed, she turned to her dance partner and leaned up on her tiptoes to whisper something in his ear before walking away. In his direction. Even though his heartbeat was thudding in his ears—maybe it was the drugs...or maybe it was the music—he coolly regarded her as she leaned against the bar, resting her elbows against the counter. The top she wore rode up a bit as she stretched, exposing a belly button ring and part of an intricate tattoo along her side. He took in her confident stature, and the way she seemed completely disenchanted with the crowd around her. He caught himself watching the way she pursed her lips and her wide brown eyes scanned the area looking for...something. The girl absentmindedly twirled a braid around her index finger before turning her back to address the bartender.

He inwardly groaned at the way her jeans hugged her hips and thighs, and the curve of her ass. As if reading his thoughts she turned to look at him over her shoulder, brushing her braids over her back. She looked him up and down before they locked eyes.

He wasn’t sure if it was the molly, the bouncing lights, or the liquor swimming through his veins...but he noticed something wild and fiery about her gaze.

Then she smirked at him.

-x-

She groaned, latching her leg around his hips as he pressed rough kisses down her neck.

Bracing her against the wall, he rolled his hips against the front of her jeans, growing increasingly frustrated with the fabric between them. She pushed his jacket from his shoulders onto the floor, and pulled at the back of his shirt, scratching his back in the process. His dick jumped in response, and she sucked air between her teeth as he sucked on the sensitive skin of her collarbone.

“You know,” she said breathlessly, reaching up to tug sharply at his hair, “you caught me in a good mood. I don't usually do this.”

He grinned, and spun her around, pushing her front against the bathroom stall door. He thrust his hips against her ass, and she dropped her head to the side in a blissful sigh.

“There’s a first for everything, love,” he whispered in her ear. He tugged on her lobe with his teeth, inching his hands around her hips to unbutton her jeans. “What do they call you?”

She chuckled and he felt the vibration throughout his body as she pressed herself closer and arched her back.

“I'm Nobody, to you.”

“You wanna be a smartass?” his hand slipped down the front of her jeans, teasing the waistband of her panties. She reached her arm back to gently scratch the back of his neck, earning her a shudder. He dipped his hand lower between her thighs, before pressing two fingers firmly against her slick nub.

“God,” she breathed. He could smell a mixture of cranberry and mint on her breath. He leaned forward to suck her lower lip between his teeth, while his other hand snaked around her neck and gently squeezed.

“Oh fuck, oh please,” she whimpered, reaching behind her to press her hand to the front of his pants. He rocked his hips against her, and slipped his hand lower to slip two fingers into her. She cried out in response, pressing her ass harder against his dick.

“Please what?” he demanded, kissing down the back of her neck, “Use your big girl words.”

He could feel her body shaking as her breathing quickened. He pressed his palm her clit, rubbing in small quick circles and a brief cry escaped her lips.

“I-" He watched her scratch the paint off the door of the bathroom stall as a deep shudder raked her frame.

“Say it,” he whispered to her, slowing the pace of his hand.

“I need it,” she whined, rolling her hips against the front of his pants. She pulled his hand from her jeans and sucked his thick fingers between her lips, tasting herself. 

It took everything in him not to blackout when he spun her around and pulled her into a deep kiss to taste her on her tongue. Her jeans slipped over her hips, and he slipped his hands under her panties and over her ass. He almost didn't notice her hands expertly undoing the button and zipper of his pants. His mind momentarily went blank when we felt her warm hand wrap around him, and his breath caught in his throat. 

“Fuck,” he whispered hoarsely. She bit her lip as she ran her thumb along the head of his dick, and then pushed his pants to the floor. The look in her eyes alone made him ravenous with a hunger he hadn’t felt in ages. He wrapped her thighs around his hips and kissed her deeper, tasting more of her on his tongue while his hand palmed her ass. She gripped his hair in her fist, and tilted his head to the side, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck. They both gasped sharply when he brushed against her clit.

“God, right there,” she moaned, teasing his earring with the tip of her tongue. 

He slowly eased into her, and she tossed her head back with a satisfied smile on her lips. She fit perfectly around him. His heart pounded in his ears when his hips thrust against her and she pulled him closer.

“Fuck!” She arched her back in ecstasy and rolled her hips against him, forcing a gasp from his lips. 

“You feel so fucking good,” he groaned, sucking on the skin just above her bra cup. He pulled it down and wrapped his lips around her hardened left nipple, tugging it with his teeth and earning him a shrill cry when he teased the right with his fingers.She bucked against his every thrust, letting out short, loud grunts.

She let out a deep, hoarse cry.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he cooed to her, "Let go."

He pulled his hand away from her breast and slipped it between them, rubbing her clit with his thumb and sending her into a frenzy. He felt her tighten around him, causing him to swallow hard. 

“Ohmygod, ohmygod,” she whimpered resting her forehead on his shoulder. 

“Look at me,” he whispered. Tangerine picked up the speed of his thrusts when he felt himself getting closer, and he spun her around to push her against the opposite wall for support, “I said look at me.” 

She squeezed her thighs around him tighter, and when her dark brown eyes met his, they both shuddered and she dug her nails into his arm as she climaxed. At the same time, she tightened around him and bounced faster against his hips, riding the wave of pleasure for as long as she could. He felt his resolve slipping. He clutched her tighter against his body with one arm, while the other gripped her thigh tightly as he fucked her against the wall. 

“Fuck!” He cried as he felt the familiar warmth flood his stomach. He gave one final thrust deep into her as he groaned hoarsely against her shoulder and tried to catch his breath. He felt her fingers gently play with the hair at the nape of his neck, and he almost felt his legs give out. 

She left small kisses along his skin, and he hissed as she slid off of him. He was sure that he zoned out for a moment as she cleaned herself and pulled her clothes back on. He followed suit, pulling his pants back around his hips with uncharacteristic clumsiness. This was fucked. Deep down, he wasn't used to being disarmed like this.

“Well that was nice,” she said, breaking the silence with a smirk. She pulled him down for another deep kiss and tenderly cupped his cheek with her hand. For a moment he forgot where he was, returning the kiss with equal, if not greater enthusiasm. She pulled away from him and pat his cheek. 

“I think your mark is definitely gone by now, by the way. You kinda fucked up, huh?” She sighed. Something crossed her features, and Tangerine nearly questioned her about it before he registered what she said. 

“Wait what?” He asked. Post-nut clarity seeped into his brain and his eyes widened in surprise as he pulled his phone out to check the time. He'd lost over an hour.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell if you won’t.” The smirk returned to her features and she pushed the stall door open. “By the way, you might need to cover up those hickeys, Tangerine. Someone might have questions.”

[rookofthekingom]

Hi, I’m Rook :)

& first of all I’d like to apologize, as if you are reading this, then you have somehow stumbled across my blog. im incredibly sorry. (you are, however, more than welcome to stay☺️)

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

Christian : she/they : queer : i play the violin : music is my passion : i think a lot : it kinda sucks ngl : uhhh : I’m learning Italian! : and whatever part of my personality isn’t lost to music is lost to that : i’m also learning Spanish but i’ve been learning italian longer so im a lot more passionate about it : i love love books : Pisces : infp : borderline intp tho : i love all forms of art : i sometimes write songs :

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

~Music~

My favorite artists: [My Chemical Romance] [Queen] [Green Day] [Marco Mengoni] [Mahmood] [Billy Joel] [Fall Out Boy] [Måneskin] [Palaye Royale] [Irama] [Michele Bravi] [David Bowie] [The Beatles] [Mötley Crüe] [Eagles] [NEEDTOBREATHE] [Phil Wickham]

My favorite composers: [Shostakovich] [Bach] [Dvorák] [Rachmaninoff] [Tchaikovsky] [Vivaldi] [Grieg] [Holst] [Borodin] [Rimsky-Korsakov]

My current favorite songs: [Famous Last Words-MCR] [Mama-MCR] [Disenchanted-MCR] [Welcome to the Black Parade-MCR] [Jesus of Suburbia-Green Day] [Planetary (GO!)-MCR] [Homecoming-Green Day] [Fourth of July-FOB] [Holiday-Green Day] [The Sharpest Lives-MCR] [I Miss You-Blink-182] [The Ghost of You-MCR] [The Gadfly Suite-Shostakovich] [Thnks fr th Mmrs-FOB]

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

~Literature~

I love books so so much-

‣ Im currently trying to expand my reading taste a bit more—up until now I’ve mostly read fantasy and romance but I’m gaining interest in classics & philosophy :)

‣ as for right now I’m kinda obsessed with Dostoevsky 🫣

‣ uhh idrk what else to put here bc if I were to list any books fandoms/books I like it would take forever

‣ so ig if you’re curious just ask?? very open to talk to ppl!

‣ and that goes for everything, not just books ofc :)

Just finished: [What If It’s Us by Adam Silvera & Becky Albertalli]

Currently reading: [The Secret History by Donna Tartt]

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

~Fandoms~

Marauders—I ship Wolfstar, Dorlene, Jily, and Rosekiller (and Jegulus & Pandalily if I’m in the right mood lol) & imma be honest this is really the only one I’m at all active in :)

Young Royals—I’m currently rewatching it and I AM SUFFERING

Heartstopper—because I deserve to be happy sometimes 😃

Percy Jackson—uhh idrk what else to say; ig I’m a daughter of Apollo?

Umm probably more, again just ask—chances are I’m not very active in them tho 👀

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

“We are unusual and tragic and alive” -Dave Eggers

𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔 ˖ 𖥔

[somewillwin]

I dont know if this has been asked before but what are your all time favorite IF’s? I’m looking for some recommendations. Also I love your blog and your artwork ❤️❤️ It’s so beautiful 😊

ok its time! i hope i dont forget any

FIRST!

Favorite finished IFs

Fallen hero rebirth series (@fallenhero-rebirth)

The Wayhaven Chronicles Series (@seraphinitegames)

The Passenger (@the-passenger-if)

The Fog Knows Your Name (Choice of Games)

The Superlatives Series (Choice of Games)

Werewolves: Heaven Rising (Choice of Games)

The Hero Rise Series (Choice of Games) (this one is a little iffy, i mean its good! it just play in some stereotypes that are a bit offensive,this series is here more of a sentimental value cause it was the first IF i played and it made me cry)

The Fernweh Saga (@lacunafiction)

Paradigm City (Hosted Games)

WIP IFs

Mirror Mine (@if-mirrormine)

Greenwarden (@fiddles-ifs)

Blood Legacies (@bloodlegacies)

Project Hadea (@nyehilismwriting)

A World Without You (@jaunefleurwrites)

Fox of Sunholt (@foxofsunholt)

Remember You Will Die (@vapolis)

Queenstown Detective (@queenstowndetective-if)

Dead Weight (@deadweight-if)

Vendetta (@vendetta-if)

Disenchanted (@disenchantedif)

Absentia (@absentia-if)

Hollowed Minds (@shai-manahan)

Witches of Ferngrove (@witchesofferngrove)

The Exile (@exilethegame)

Swallow the Dark (@swallowthedark)

When Twilight Strickes (@evertidings)

Golden (@milaswriting)

A Tale of Crowns (@ataleofcrowns)

The Northern Passage (@northern-passage)

Morning Star and Joint Venture (@nacregames)

Speaker (@speakergame)

Whisper in the Dark (@whisper-game)

Mind Blind (@mindblindbard)

Visual Novels

Cardinal Cross and Oathbreaker (@larkylabs)

Butterfly Soup

----

I hope I'm not forgetting anyone, I was gonna put (❤) on my absolute favorites but i was just marking everything ahdgfhd so what was the point. As you can see I enjoy more mature stories, superpowers and modern fantasy dajkshfkajd

What can I say I like tortured MCs

[owmylasagna-blog]

So, what's the real appeal in Ed/May? I see that this popular, but over all the show I see aproximately zero positive moments/development between them, including in the finale. Nothing positive, I can't think of anything that wasn't one-sided or outright negative. And I think Ed deserves faaar better than her; I don't see him just forgeting all she made and sudenly falling in love with her (fanfics where they're just dating out of nowhere specially irks me) without any explanation or development.

The appeal seems just ''pair the dumb/goofy ones'' (why not Ed/Nazz? Or Ed/Rolf? Or even Ed/Jonny?)

Honestly, I'm under the impression people only ship it as a Beta Couple for Edd/Eddy, and nothing else more. Your reasoning?

Wow I’m actually pretty glad I got this question because I’ve had a half baked post on this very subject that’s been sitting in my drafts for weeks. Now I have a reason to actually share it.

And from the jump, no I don’t ship Ed and May solely because I’m an eddeddy shipper. I actually see some interesting potential here! I also ship Ed wildly because he’s just a lover boi in my mind. Perhaps even most wildly out of the entire cast of the show: I have the receipts for dabbling in edrolf and ednazz but I can really only imagine those pairings as little flings.

So what is it about edmay that works?

Of the three Kanker sisters, May actually seems to be the only one to genuinely have a crush on her preferred Ed. It goes beyond the typical taunting and harassing her sisters subject the other Eds to. The intro to Hanky Panky Hullabaloo is a prime example of this: May makes a mushy valentine and Marie and Lee make fun of her for it. Afterwards the two talk about May behind her back: “Now we know who got mom’s genes.” “Hormones”. I think it's an interesting summary of how the sisters have differing perspectives on relationships and how they think about boys/men. While Marie and Lee are more disenchanted by romance, they see May as more naive and prone to getting emotionally attached in the same way their mom probably falls for one disappointing man after another. Anyway, the point is that I think May cares whether Ed reciprocates those feelings while Marie and Lee don��t with Eddy or Edd.

CUTE!

Now we have Ed’s reactions to May. In the earlier seasons, he doesn’t seem as averse to the Kanker harassment. Honestly sometimes he’s sort of enjoying it or just not bothered at all. I don’t think Ed generally would show his interests or feelings in a very typical way. Actually the most damning evidence that he might actually be attracted at all to May or just girls period are the moments where he is acting the most repulsed by them. We are talking about a 12 year old after all, probably a bit panicked by some new hormones and feelings about “icky girls”: to me, it reads as the early stages of immature boyish attraction.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t include at least one reference to the Ed-cyclopedia that is Kevin Lordi (as per usual), who got the scoop that the writers toyed with the idea of making Ed and May canon in the earlier seasons, even scraped S2 episode where they are caught kissing in the bushes being the basis for HPH (Lordi 2017, 2018).

So what is in this ship for them? I really like exploring this ship because of many of the parallels I see in their characters. I think it’s safe to say that Ed and May are respective outliers in their trios: May being the younger punching bag to her older sisters, Ed sort of being off on his own planet or plane of existence from Edd and Eddy most of the time. I could see both naturally branching out on their own while the remaining two are prone to buddying up. Other similarities, as you mention, also make them a cute pair: they are goofy, a bit ditzy, naturally kind hearted, a bit off beat, a tad (or a lot) gross. Nothing wrong with that!

Both come from pretty bleak home lives, lacking in support or parental nurturing. For this reason, you see them often compensating by being the nurturing types themselves: Ed being the protective big brother to Sarah and his two best pals, May often playing out a maternal fantasy (more than once she plays mommy and baby in the show; coddling Jimmy in BPS). Now just think of a relationship where these two get together!!! Having an outlet for compassion AND on the receiving end of it. I think they have the potential to have a very sweet relationship ripe for healing and personal growth.

I see them coming to appreciate each other with a bit of time and maturity, maybe striking up a friendship first before actually dating later in their teens or early adulthood. Oddly enough I make lots of parallels between Edd and May as well and could easily imagine some aspects of Edd and Ed’s friendship manifesting in edmay. The biggest factor being what I said about May having this maternal care-taker drive. Seeing as the Kanker sisters just about raised themselves and had to grow up really fast, you end up with a very “parentified” child. And if Edd isn’t the poster child for being a parentified kid I don’t know what… Anyway, in the same way that Edd acts as a stand-in parental figure to Ed I think May would quickly take on a similar role. I’m NOT endorsing this dynamic as 100% positive!!! I think it would be complicated! But it’s an interesting ship dynamic nonetheless and I’m trying to explore that in my aged up AU now.

[mr-gallows]

Leon Kennedy headcanons: Emotion & Personality

note: These are all based on Leon as he is in the RE4 remake.

This man is incredibly patient and level-headed. Definitely patient with service workers. There’s nothing to be mad about if he doesn’t have monsters or people trying to kill him. If someone obviously doesn’t care, however, it’s going to irritate him.

Leon is not aggressive with people (typically), but since RE2 he has developed a more aggressive music taste as a form of catharsis.

Anyone getting disenchanted Pisces vibes? Idealistic kind of guy, empathetic, but by the time of RE4 he’s definitely guarding that side of himself. He also might be a little numb. I might do an ‘astrology reading’ for him later, who knows.

Leon is totally fucked up over the fact that he was motivated to protect people because of what happened to his family, and then having those ideals totally obliterated by everyone on the force dying, getting manipulated by someone he trusted, and a corrupt system that has blackmailed him. In some way, his dreams and aspirations feel hollow. All he can do is keep surviving and working to protect Sherry and everyone he can; but being chained to corruption eats away at him.

He rarely cries because he’s afraid he won’t be able to stop. He’s got  a dam built up, and if it cracks, everything comes pouring out at  once.

After the events of RE4 when he gets back to his home, he’s just kind of going through the motions, until he suddenly breaks down and cries because all the stress, fear, and sadness for the people lost just hits him like a brick wall. Just randomly in the middle of making coffee or something.

He would really enjoy having someone around who could make him laugh. Hard to do, but boy will he warm up to someone so much more if they can get him to do that. Leon was motivated to protect Ashley from the get-go, but getting him to chuckle and joking with him made him develop a warmer feeling toward her.

I know Leon is hot and all but whenever I see this man’s eyes I feel like his dating life is just...kinda sad? Sure, he’s smooth and witty, but he fears if they look long enough, they’ll just see the depression oozing from his pores. He’s emotionally constipated at the moment, and he knows that’s not great for developing connections with people. One-night stands it is. He’s hot enough to land them when he needs to, and that’s about it.

RE4 remake Leon is markedly different from original RE4 Leon (read: water is wet), and while I see OG Leon making quips and trying to seduce his way into bed with someone, I don’t see Remake Leon laying it on as thick. I feel like he’s more quiet and prefers good atmosphere. Always picks a shadowy corner table. He’s a good listener, which makes his dates feel good and does him a favor in terms of getting them into his bed. He does want to get to know the person he’s going to fuck at least a little bit, so he does ask questions about them, only for it to be forgotten the morning after.

Doesn’t have a fuckbuddy. First, he doesn’t want to feel like he’s just using someone for sex, and second, he’s afraid of forming a connection. He can’t afford to do that in his line of work.

Considering that he’s pretty cold to Ada in the remake, I think it shows he knows how to set/maintain and respect BOUNDARIES, BABY! We love to see it. I’ll see myself out. If there are canon inconsistencies I apologize, I’m from the Silent Hill fandom and have fairly scant knowledge of RE in comparison lol.

[disenchantedif]

Countdown to Disenchanted, an excerpt of the aftermath of finding a body.

Theodore’s Route.

“Okay then,” Theo stands in the middle of the living room, his gaze searching your face carefully, “You should get some sleep, sunshine.”

[[You hesitate as he begins to turn, “Could you stay with me?”]]

He freezes in place before facing you once more, an easy smile sliding into place, “You wanna stay up for a bit? I have a Netflix account if you wanna binge some TV. Guess we have no classes tomorrow, anyway.”

[[…You had meant something different, but you suppose this will work too.]]

He must see the look on you face because he tilts his head ever so slightly in confusion. The his gaze darts between you and your bedroom door and his eyes widen in realization.

“Oh.” He mutters quietly, “I mean I’m okay with that, too. Want me to fight off the nightmares for you?”

His grin turns mischievous and you already regret your decision.

“It’ll be like that time when we were twelve and all tried to fit in Vik’s bed.” He laughs, trailing after you as you move swiftly toward your room, “Good times.”

“You ended up accidentally kicking Viktor off the bed,” You remind him, “He fractured his tailbone.”

“Well, everything before that was good times.” His tail flickers behind him as you open the door and he promptly sits himself of the edge of your bed, watching you every move like an overeager puppy.

[north-blue-hearts]

Famous Last Words

CisFem Reader x Trafalgar Law

CW: Violence, swearing, mature themes, erotic romance, angst, creative use of devil fruits, this story is still in progress, I will add content warnings as needed.

Chapter 5: Disenchanted

You watched the concert on the security cameras with Zoro. Rosinante left the room, leaving the two of you alone for long stretches.

“Soul mates, huh?” Zoro questions between songs at one point.

“Seems so.” You admit.

“… Was Nami right then?”

You laugh a little, taking a drink to think about your answer for a moment. “Yes. She was, but she kind of under sold it, I think.”

“Oh? Oh. Oh, wait, that’s why you needed to leave?”

You nod a little noncommittally. “It’s a powerful emotion.”

“Worried about the stalker?” He prompts, and you nod.

“Hard to keep a low profile, if your soul mate is the lead singer of Your Synthetic Enchantment.” You say a little roughly. “And… well, there’s more to it. I never talked about it.”

“Yeah.”

You tilt your head. “Yeah?”

Zoro goes over to the mini-fridge, grabbing a bottle of water as another song starts up. “Everyone knows you’re holding back, and it’s okay.” He adds quickly, putting a hand on the back of his neck and furrowing his brow a little. “I’m kind of crap with all the talkin’ stuff, but… I mean, everyone has things they don’t want to talk about.

“It doesn’t mean you don’t like us, or don’t trust us or whatever, so it doesn’t matter.” He admits, taking another drink. “But we know.” He motions toward you with his hand a little. “You get that worried look on your face, like you want to say more.”

“I do want to say more.” You admit, and it feels like a massive relief just to say that much.

Zoro grins. “That’s enough. Knowing that.” He assures you, turning back to the monitor and watching the feed.

After a few lines from the current song he turns to you. “Is this really a song about them being afraid of teenagers?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “No, it’s about authority being afraid of teenagers. I can see how you’d think that though.”

A few songs later the band share their thanks and love for the fans, pretending to pack up a little before they came out and did an encore song. The drums gave the song away before the first notes left the guitar and bass.

“Well, I know a thing about contrition, because I got enough to spare.” Law sang into the mic, but it was obvious his heart wasn’t in it at this point. He was ready to be done.

Near the end of the song Rosinante comes back into the room. “Alright, are you ready Miss?” He prompts. “Your friends went backstage before the encore, and the band should be getting there shortly. I doubt my boy’s going to say farewell properly, but he hardly does most nights anyway.”

You smile at Rosi. He was going to be your best friend in all of this, you were certain. Everyone already knew that Law’s parents, and younger sister, passed away some years ago. The tragedy of Flevance was one of the most well-known blunders of the World Government, and Law’s debut had been the action that had drawn attention to it.

His manager was different back then, and there’d been a huge hullabaloo as tons of information had come out about how Amber Lead Disease wasn’t a disease and wasn’t contagious. The real kicker to everything had been about how it wasn’t untreatable either, as Law was a survivor.

That was almost six years ago, and about a year after the story broke there was a big scuffle between Law and his first manager that shook up the tabloids for a little bit. After the dust settled on that, Rosinante became his manager. You’d seen pictures of him before, but seeing him in person had been an experience.

“I am, thank you Ro- er, Cora-san.” You say as you stand up and head out of the room. Jean’s in front, with you and Rosinante in the middle and Zoro at the rear. It felt like overkill to you, within the safety of the back halls, but you weren’t a bodyguard, and there wasn’t any reason to argue.

Besides, you were fully distracted.

Every step down the hall was a step closer. You could barely hear Rosinante talking as you walked, over the sound of your own heart. You could barely believe you were walking closer to him, and not further away.

The whole night had been surreal.

The further down the hall you walked, the more sounds you could hear. The muffled voices of people were echoing down the hall, just slightly louder than the distant muffled rush of the concert goers, still screaming on the high of the show as they delayed their inevitable departure. Some will have left before the encore to avoid the slow lines leaving the parking lot.

Some, like Franky and Robin, will be grilling food and commiserating with other fans idly in the lot, letting time pass by before they even consider leaving.

You turned the corner in time to see a door close down the hall, and it seemed to be your destination as Jean walked straight toward it. People in uniforms were further down the hall, using boards and arms, to block access and viewing down the hall as they kept any unauthorized people away.

You could hear Nami’s voice as the door opened.

“You really found your soul mate? That’s fantastic Traffy!” She beams and you can hear Luffy laugh.

“You should’ve told us ahead of time!” He’s almost pouting, you can hear it in his voice.

“Sorry, Mugiwara-ya, I didn’t want word to get out be… fore.” Law’s words die on his lips as he turns toward the door. His eyes go wide as he sees you, and a smile pulls at your lips as you look back at him.

You’re not really sure what to say with those golden eyes locked on yours. You almost want to look away, but you don’t. You can’t. A part of you is nearly afraid to blink, as though the action itself would pull you from the dream you must be having right now.

You’re barely aware of everyone else. You’re certain you heard Nami and Vivi gasp, but the room had fallen into a hush.

“… Are they gonna stay like that?” Someone asks, and there’s a smack followed by a grumble. You can hear it all, and you know everyone else is there, it just doesn’t matter.

“Cora-san, is there another room?” Vivi asks, and you’re vaguely aware of people shuffling around. Law steps back from the doorway, and you follow him, just a couple of steps. Enough space for everyone to leave.

The soft click of the door barely seemed enough of a signal, but once the door locked, he lifted his hands up. Holding them up by his waist and giving you a shy smile as you reached out and put your fingers against the palms of his hands.

The touch was almost like electricity, enough to pull your gaze away from his eyes, but the brief zing of pleasure gave way to warmth. A nervous laugh pushes past your lips at the relief of being able to touch his hands. He threads his fingers through yours, holding onto your hands and nearly sighing.

“(Y/N).” He says it softly, barely a whisper, as though he’s almost afraid to say it too loud, but he’s too desperate to not say it at all.

Emotions well up inside of you, and his fingers slip away from yours in a moment of panic as tears fill your eyes. You hadn’t heard your own name in years, and the first person to say it to you was your soul mate.

A muffled thank you falls from your lips as you bury your face in his chest, hugging him close. One warm hand is atop your head after a moment, the other around your back, returning the embrace.

“I can’t believe,” you manage, sniffling and almost laughing at the same time. “You dreamed about me.”

Law’s hands flex. “You dreamed about me.” He insists. “… I couldn’t reach you.”

“You could hear me.”

“Yeah.”

“Law.” You say his name once your voice clears a little, wiping your eyes before you step back slightly. His hands don’t quite let you go, one still at your waist, the other on your shoulder. You leaned into the hand against your face, hand holding his against your cheek. “Trafalgar Law.”

His fingers flex against your face. “Traffy.” He says, but the word is already distasteful to him, you can tell. “Call me… Traffy.”

You look up at him quizzically. “Why?”

“I can’t say your name, when we leave here, right?” His brows are knit, he looks irritated. “I have to call you… that name, until they find that guy.”

You nod. “Anywhere that someone could hear, yes.” You admit.

He pulls you closer, gently, as though he wants you to be able to pull away if you want. His eyes aren’t irritated anymore, but they’re on you, looking from your eyes to your lips.

“It’s only fair then,” He says, his voice almost a whisper. “There’s so much I want to tell you.”

“It seems like you want to kiss me,” you murmur softly, eyes moving up from his lips to his eyes as you smile. “More than you want to talk.”

The flicker of light in his eyes, the crooked grin that slips along his lips for a moment, are enough to send a sweet shiver up your back. “Seems so.” He answers quietly, pulling you a little closer.

There’s a soft breath between you both, one last glance at one another that can’t last as long as you wish it could, and the first tentative brush of your lips against his sends little shivers through you both. You feel him suck in a breath along with you, and then the small space between you both disappears as you nearly crash your lips into his.

The rush through your chest pulls your lips apart, leaving you desperate for air as your heart’s pulling in every scrap it can find against the flood of oxytocin in your system. Law’s hands hook your thighs as he lifts you up, bracing you against his chest as you lean down from your new vantage and kiss him again, legs wrapping around his waist.

Moans bubble up in his chest, shuddering against you as soft sounds fall from your lips in return. Heavy breaths and desperate kisses are all you know for a moment before he sits down on his knees. His hands shift, and he leans you back, resting your back against the floor as he cradles the back of your head in his hand.

His arm is beside you as your hands disappear into his hair. It’s damp from the concert still, but you don’t care. The scent of makeup cleaner still hasn’t reached you, and the heavy scent of exertion isn’t your concern as hot breath crashes over you before he kisses you again. His knees are pressing into your thighs, and your body is hot with need and desire, your hips shift, sliding your thighs up his legs as another kiss threatens to steal sense and breath from you.

Your fingers are fumbling with the buttons on his shirt when there’s a knock at the door. You both freeze, and after a second you hear Nami’s voice.

“Just making sure you’re having your first time together where, and when, you really want to.” She says with a knowing lilt to her voice. “We’re heading to the General, Dia, text me if you’re going home a different way.”

You can feel the heat rushing up to your face, and you can see that Law’s face is flushed.

“Thanks, Nami.” You reply as evenly as you can manage, and hear her walk away. You look around and start to realize you’re on the floor of a backstage room. Not that it would’ve been something you would’ve regretted, but maybe dinner and a soft bed was a slightly better prelude if you could choose it.

Law puts his head down on your chest for a second, seeming to gather himself.

“That -.” He starts, and you start to laugh – a little from nerves, but also because it was more of a rush than you had expected.

“They really undersell the whole ‘you’ll know’, bit, don’t they?” You ask, and he starts to laugh softly. His laugh fuels yours and yours his, and he sits up, resting on his heels as he finally just lets himself laugh completely.

You could listen to that sound for years.

The two of you are nearly in tears by the time you get yourselves under control.

“Yeah,” he admits, chuckling again as he stands up and offers you a hand up. “Intoxicating seems like a cop out.”

You’re certain your face is a beacon of red as you stand up. “Yeah… little bit.”

There’s a moment of almost awkward silence between you. You’re not sure what to say, but you know that you don’t want to leave. Long, tattooed fingers, reach out and curl around your hand, and Law runs the bottom of his lip along his teeth, trying to think of something to say.

“I… have a submarine.” He offers. “I mean, just… you don’t have to go… home. Um, you could stay.”

“… I want to stay.” You admit quietly.

“For tonight. Tomorrow.” He corrects, bringing your fingers up to his mouth and kissing your knuckles softly. “We don’t leave for the next island for a few days. We have some time.”

“Time to talk?” You prompt.

He smirks. “Among other things, but yes.”

“We have a lot to talk about.” You insist.

Law looks over at the wall, glancing at the clock. “There’s 104 hours between now and when we have to set sail.” He begins with a devious grin. “Assuming proper rest, that 64 hours awake.” He pulls you close and nearly purrs the next words into your ear.

“I’m sure we can spare a few hours in there for words, at some point.”

You start to say something when the air shifts around you. You aren’t sure what it is exactly, just a sense that there’s something in the air that wasn’t there before.

“Shambles.” Law says, and your whole world shifts.