#I’m WAITNG

[nousernameyet]

I’m gonna joyful when this get animated

[mxltifxnd0m]

mari. mari. MARI!!!

i can’t even begin to describe how obsessed and in love i am with this fic!!

i love love love there’s an empath reader or oc and the dynamics that come from it and you really outdone yourself when it came to this!

UGHH dont get me started on sam. i will never not love how you write sam like iajelakoakdnd im obsessed with how you write him it’s just so *chefs kiss*

oh and i loved the readers plan of how they escaped like yess manipulate the manipulators 🙌🙌

WE GOT SOFT MUSHY SAM! I REPEAT WE GOT SOFT MUSHY SAM!!!

ughh this fic made me feel warm and gushy on the inside and i will be forever obsessed with your fics on sammy, mari!!

but daddy i love him — sam winchester

cw : gn!empath!reader, light angst, fluff, some canon typical violence, demons, mentions of weapons, emotional manipulation/some emotional abuse in reader's past/presence, dean's kinda mean for a bit, kissing, food/drink mentions, poor editing, 11.3K words. listen to but daddy i love him by taylor swift. requested !

summary : you were raised sheltered from the world, but once you meet sam, you come to understand what freedom means. ౨ৎ . . . [ empath : has the ability to read and manipulate anyone's emotions. not the psychology kind lol ]

you’re not a demon, though you’re certainly no angel. in all technically, you suppose that you’re closer to a demon since they used to be human. not that you’d want to be put in the same box as any single demon, but you know that they feel some emotions. angels, you’re told, do not. to you, that’s quite a strange concept. someday, you’d like to meet one to see if it’s true.

and though you are not a demon, you’ve learned very well how to be like one, or at the very least how to feel like one. this is only helpful because your uncle, the demon who raised you (who is not your real uncle, nor related to you at all) wants you to be just like him. that implies being entirely uncaring and mostly unfeeling, with the exceptions for feelings being guiltless, hatred, annoyance, generally anything negative and parallel with aggression, and pleasure in the face of enacting pain or evil things upon somebody else.

having been surrounded by exactly that for as long as you can remember, you have no trouble pretending to be that way. in actuality, you find it totally impossible to embody it in truth. you, opposite to demons, are especially in tune with all aspects of your humanity. this does include the bad, but you’ve spent your life clinging to and longing for the good. plus, you don’t particularly enjoy experiencing the constant negativity that rolls off of most demons and right onto you. although your powers are geared towards other humans and you can’t read or manipulate demons’ emotions as easily, you learned to use your powers on them before anything else.

today, you accompany a crossroads demon, as per usual. your uncle has you trying a new tactic to aid in soul-collection. unfortunately for you, it's been working well and you have to pretend more often than not that your powers are failing you when they’re working just fine. you feel like a door-to-door salesman for guaranteed painful death and torture until one’s humanity is ripped away, all under the guise of pretty or petty dreams come true.

your accompanying demon, russell, is one of your least favorites. you don’t really like any of them, but unfortunately, russell is one of your uncle’s most trusted. you think it’s stupid, because you’re able to tell that he’s a coward and most likely not as trust-worthy as your uncle thinks. personally, you just find him annoying.

russell approaches the next house, knocking on the door as you lag behind. the man at the last house sold his soul in exchange to look ten years younger. not everyone exchanges their lives for such stupid reasons, but when they do, it makes you feel extra disgusted by the work you have to participate in. but for the sake of fooling your uncle, you pretend to enjoy it. someday, you might get away… you just don’t know what you’d do or how you’d survive.

the owner of the house opens the door, and the second she sees you and russell, dressed in suits and smiling all fake, her annoyance and skepticism immediately become apparent to you. your first order of business is to push that away and replace it with openness, curiosity, and a little bit of desire to get her to listen to you. since you “failed” at the first three houses and were successful at the last one, russell expects you to make this one work as well. it takes a bit of concentration to keep everything subtle and slow so that she doesn’t notice anything too strange.

when she greets you, she smiles a little and you know that you were successful. you let russell do all the talking as you continually feed the woman more desire and assuredness. little by little, you tug at her hesitation, pulling it away as russell gives her his pitch.

“anything you could ever dream of for the small price of your soul!” he lies about how small of a price it is and you mask your abundant discomfort. the more and better you do for your uncle, the more he lets you off of your figurative leash. the woman, mrs. hadley, as she introduced herself, is on the verge of saying yes. you’re seated in the living room as she goes on about how her one wish is for her young son to be treated well at school. you debate sabotaging the deal to save her, when the door bangs open and two men burst into the house, both sporting various weapons.

mrs. hadley screams and your concentration snaps. immediately, her fear and confusion wash over you, along with everything else that the two men and russell are feeling. suddenly quite overwhelmed, you squeeze your eyes shut for a moment before remembering you’re under threat. russell curses loudly, and when you snap your eyes open, he’s halfway across the room as he sprints full speed for the back door.

“sam!” shouts one of the men, nodding towards you and the frightened mrs. hadley as he takes off after russell. the other man, now dubbed sam, points his knife at you and begins rehearsing a latin exorcism.

“i’m not a demon, i swear,” you say, slowly standing and putting your hands up in surrender. his eyebrows furrow in confusion. you also sense his urgency and protectiveness, but you don’t sense as much aggression in him as you’d expected. the rush of that which you’d felt before must have been from the other man.

“then what are you?” he asks, voice gruff as he slowly approaches, trying to carefully manuever in between you and mrs. hadely.

“i’m human,” you answer, honest but withholding the full truth. “i promise,” you plead, trying to gauge his reaction without actually manipulating his feelings. when sam reaches mrs. hadley, he holds his arm in front of her protectively. there’s still fear and utter confusion rolling off of her.

“wh–what the hell is going on?” she asks, voice panicked.

“it’s alright,” sam reassures, trying to be as gentle as possible. “you just can’t make that deal. it’ll get you killed.”

“what? killed, i– but it seemed– it seemed fine?” you can feel doubt creep into mrs. hadley as well as she questions why she trusted you and russell so much without any real reason.

“trust me, whatever they promised you, it’s not worth it,” sam emphasizes. mrs. hadely goes to speak again, but sam returns his attention back to you. “what are you doing with a demon?”

“i… they have me trapped,” you say in a half-lie.

he clenches his jaw, but most of his distrust subsides because he feels more concerned for mrs. hadley than you. he tucks his knife somewhere accessible, and turns to the woman to comfort her. he tries to explain without too much detail that she should never sell her soul to anyone, but that it’s best if she tries to forget this all. but it’s clear to both you and him that she’s just panicking more and more. you easily read the way that sam wants to help her and it makes you want to do the same.

you mean to just send mrs. hadley a touch of calm and comfort, just so sam can get through to her. but you yourself are panicked and overwhelmed, never having been in such an out-of-control situation, and your strong desire to help her comes out unfiltered and unhindered by your usual careful control when you deal with humans. suddenly, mrs. hadley is grinning from joy, even laughing a little. for a moment, this seems fine to you. you fixed her fear, didn’t you?

but sam turns even more confused and worried. this, in turn, confuses you and breaks your concentration, and she falls back into an even stronger fear as she realizes starkly that she’s been experiencing emotions that aren’t her own.

she bursts into tears. “what– what was that?” she cries. you feel quite overwhelmed by her strong emotions.

you frown deeply. “i– i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to– i mean, i was just trying to help. i didn’t want want you to feel so afraid. i can help, though, i promise. i just– i was distracted and humans can be so sensitive.” you begin to approach with your hands still in the air, but you halt when her fear spikes even more and sam’s hesitance returns in full. they don’t want you near. you consider manipulating both of their emotions, just to get them to allow you closer, but you think better of it at the last second. they might grow even more wary if they notice the change in their own feelings.

“did you do that?” sam asks.

you deflate in guilt. “i’m sorry,” you say again, filling your voice with sincerity, “i didn’t mean to scare you,” you look at mrs. hadley, then proceed carefully, “but i can help, just a little, i won’t do anything crazy– i– i can’t do anything crazy, i promise. and i can make sure that no one ever bothers you again. you don’t have to let me close if you don’t want me to, but i really can help. just to… to calm things down a little and– and leave a little room for you to process. or, of course, i can just go and you’ll never see me or that guy again.” you look between sam and mrs. hadley, trying to calm yourself so you can get a proper read on both of their emotions without overloading yourself with all the information. mrs. hadley is just about as confused and scared as before, but you think that sam’s reassuring presence is helping her. you’re not so sure that your words have done anything to help. sam himself is still hesitant, but as some of his wariness slips away, you think he might be willing to hear you out or at least let you go unscathed.

“oh, you’re not going anywhere,” comes a gruff voice from behind you, along with the kiss of cold metal on the back of your neck. it’s a gun, you presume. you slowly lift your hands back up, having forgotten about the other man’s presence when he disappeared to take care of russell. you turn your attention to his feelings instead of the other two in case you need to use your powers to try and save yourself. he’s got aggression, calm anger, and a whole lot of protectiveness practically spilling out of him. he thinks you’re dangerous. he’s not necessarily wrong, but you really aren’t a danger to them, not unless you have to be.

“i’m telling the truth, i swear. please, just– just let me go.” you keep your voice steady, but pleading, trying not to let on just how scared you are but also appeal to their sympathy. you’re in danger, something that you’re completely unused to despite the way you grew up all around it.

“and let you get back to those demon bitches? not a chance. what even are you?” the man’s voice is unforgiving as he digs the gunpoint further into your skin, pressing for answers. you wince.

“dean, wait,” sam interrupts, “i don’t think they’re trying to hurt anyone,” he says, trying to reason before dean gets any more violent.

“sam, they’re clearly working with demons. i think that qualifies as trying to hurt people. we don’t even know if they’re human,” dean counters.

you’re about to speak again in your own defense when a familiar voice fills your ears.

“it’s always you boys, isn’t it? i should have known that the winchesters would crash my little soul-collecting party,” your uncle drawls.

“crowley,” sam growls, and you’re suddenly flooded with his anger.

your uncle completely ignores sam in favor of dean. “i kindly ask that you let my sweet pet go, squirrel.”

dean turns around, pulling you with him. “so they’re with you?” dean asks, voice accusatory.

“they are. and if you don’t hand them over, i will knock you out cold without a second thought. your choice, of course, darling,” crowley quips. you’re highly confused. the three clearly know each other, but your uncle has never mentioned anyone like the “winchesters” before. dean grows even more suspicious of you, sam confused and worried, and you know very well that crowley is only barely covering up his total anger. he’s anything but pleased to have found you in this situation.

“tell me why, and i’ll hand them over,” dean bargians, not realizing just how much he’s pissing crowley off. your uncle doesn’t even wait to answer before sending dean flying across the room and grabbing your wrist.

“let’s go,” he grumbles, tugging you along with him. you glance back at sam, who moves forward, trying to stop crowley until he too gets flung into the wall.

“uncle!” you shout in protest. “wait, i need to–”

“absolutely not,” he shouts back, “what the hell were you thinking? how’d you mess up a simple deal so horribly?”

“i’m sorry,” you apologize, suddenly remembering yourself. he’ll only grow more angry if you continue to protest.

“damn those winchesters,” he grumbles to himself. as he drags you home, he continually complains about them, cursing that you got mixed up with them and pounding into your head that you should never, ever get involved with the winchesters.

⟢⟢⟢

honeybee cafe is just about the only solace that you have. it’s away from your uncle and the other demons, the place you always come when you’re allowed out without supervision. on top of that, it’s small and quiet, and you never visit during crowded hours. technically, you’re required by crowley to stay somewhere with other people so you can practice your powers on them. you picked this cafe for it’s cozy, quiet atmosphere, and the general lack of patrons from one to three pm. that way, you’re never overwhelmed by too many emotions. it’s usually just you, another regular or two, and the few workers. maybe it’s a little odd, but you feel secretly close with the people whose emotions you tune into over and over again. and you certainly don’t manipulate their emotions as crowley likely wishes you would.

you always sit in the corner furthest from the door, facing the rest of the small shop so that you can keep an eye on anyone who comes in or chooses to stay inside. sitting with your favorite beverage and a book you picked up from the library beforehand, you relish the comfort and warmth of the sunlight coming in from the window behind you. your room at home has no windows, and that just about kills you. you love windows.

only the soft tinkle of the bell on the cafe door interrupts the focus you lend to the book in front of you, and you look up on instinct. your breath catches in your throat as you immediately recognize the man who walks in. he doesn’t notice you, but you watch him as he orders a coffee. as he waits off to the side, you turn slightly, and you’re too late to cast your eyes down before he catches your gaze. his face lights up in recognition and surprise. he takes a step towards you before he’s interrupted by the barista’s call of his name. quickly, he takes the cup from their hand and thanks them before turning back to you. you weren’t planning on speaking to him, not after your strange first encounter and crowley’s warnings against him, but you feel an odd sort of relief when it becomes clear that he wants to approach you, to talk to you. he had left an impression on you when you’d met. he’d just seemed so… good.

his eyes flicker around the cafe as he comes closer, likely looking for signs of demons.

“i’m alone,” you assure him, smiling carefully as he gets close enough. he nods, slowly sitting across from you when you nod at the seat. “though i have to be back by evening or someone will come looking for me,” you explain, mouth forming a small frown as you think about it. he’s confused and concerned as he looks at you, and it feels sort of nice to guess that he’s maybe worried about you.

he seems unsure of what to say, so he just jumps right into it. “i never caught your name. i’m sam winchester, though i’m sure you got that before. can i ask… are you an empath? i did some research since we last met.” he gives you a tense sort of smile, not because he’s nervous, but just because this second meeting feels very awkward.

you nod and give him your name before anything else. “and yes, i am an empath,” you confirm, unsure if you should explain further or not. he seems to understand well enough.

he’s a bit more hesitant the next time he speaks. “and can you explain your… situation? you said you were trapped, and crowley seemed very possessive of you… but i thought i heard you call him uncle? whatever it is, i can help you get away from him, my brother and i have dealt with crowley too many times to count.”

his immediate offer to help and instinct to suggest you just leave crowley are both sort of overwhelming to you, but a part of you likes his words.

“oh. i– well, it’s complicated. crowley, he’s– he’s sort of my only family.” sam’s eyebrows raise a little in questioning. “we’re not actually related, or anything, but he raised me. he’s– well, he’s taught me everything i know and… i can’t– i can’t really leave. besides, he’s really not all that bad,” you try to excuse, suddenly feeling oddly defensive in a way that you can’t really explain. “and i get days to myself like this, i– i have my freedom, i just… before, i didn’t want you to think i was trying to hurt people, or that i like to, but uncl– crowley doesn’t really know… that i don’t like the things that he… that he asks me to do for him.”

suddenly, this wave of sad understanding rolls over you from sam, and you’re not sure why. his face doesn’t change much as he listens, but to you it seems like he thinks you’ve said something so sad.

“but it’s alright,” you quickly try to amend, “he thinks i’m weaker than i really am. that way he doesn’t suspect when most demon deals i’m a part of fail. i have to… i have to get some to work so that he thinks i’m trying, but i promise i try to hurt the least amount of people possible. and.. and he still lets me have my days out when the deals fall through. i botched two yesterday, but i’m still here, aren’t i?” you attempt at sounding lighthearted, but sam’s sadness doesn’t go away much. instead, you just feel compassion blooming from him as well.

“i understand,” he says kindly, “i didn’t think you were trying to hurt people. i believe you.” he’s completely sincere and you realize that that’s not something you’re too used to from almost anybody you talk to.

“thank you,” you sigh in relief, smiling and trying to show him that you’re sincere too. “your brother? dean?” sam nods. “he didn’t believe me,” you state.

sam cringes a little. “he can be like that. he–” he purses his lips, looking for the right words, “he doesn’t trust very easily. he’s very suspicious of people he doesn’t know.”

“i don’t think he really thought i was a person,” you say, starkly honest in a way that surprises sam for a moment. you don’t quite understand what his surprise was for, but he quickly shoves it away before you can ask about it.

“he’s– he’s working on that. i’m sorry he made you feel that way,” sam says, truly feeling apologetic.

“well, i didn’t feel that way. just him. i know that i’m a person,” you smile, trying to reassure him and wishing he didn’t feel sorry.

sam smiles back a little. “right,” he nods, “well, i’m still sorry he thought that way about you. he’ll come around.”

“thank you, sam. but you don’t have to feel sorry, it’s not your fault he felt that way,” you assure, completely sincere and trying to work out why sam would feel sorry about something he didn’t cause, nor that he agrees with. he’s already proved himself to be kind and believing enough.

“sure,” he agrees, trying to figure out the right way to explain what he means as he begins to understand how truly sheltered from normal human interaction you’ve been. “but i know how it feels to have someone doubt how human you are and that it’s not a good feeling. so i’m just sorry and empathetic that you had to experience that.”

you nod in understanding. “ah, well, that’s kind of you… you’re right. it wasn’t the most pleasant thing to feel, but i understand that dean was feeling sort of afraid and definitely mistrustful. you didn’t really find me in the most trustworthy position. but if i meet him again, i hope you’re right that he’ll come around. i really am just a person, but i get that i’m, you know, not one hundred percent normal. really, empathy’s a very human thing, mine’s just… exaggerated, i guess.” you look at him, head cocked to the side in confusion. “but you, sam? why would someone doubt how human you are? you feel things just like a human.”

sam gives you a half smile. there’s a tinge of bitterness when he answers, but the way he talks and feels makes it seem as though time as softened most anger or sadness. yet, it also feels as though he’s never really talked about this much.

“i used to have psychic powers. i’d have visions, these premonitions before people died.” he explains it as something so casual, and he’s trying to feel that way about it, but he really seems to care. “in a way, i was barely different from you. of course, i’m still not. we’re both people.”

“really?” you ask, curious, “i didn’t know other people had that sort of thing. and your powers? they’re gone now?”

“it seems like it. i haven’t had a vision in a long time,” he answers.

“you seem relieved by that,” you note. sam picks up on the tinge of sad disappointment in your voice.

“i am,” he answers honestly, “but not because it’s bad to have those sort of powers. i just didn’t really enjoy getting visions of people dying violently.” he gives you a tight-lipped smile to show you he’s okay being lighthearted about it all.

you relax. “right, of course. that must have been hard,” you give him a small, kind smile, “i can feel that it was hard. i’m glad you don’t have to go through that anymore.” you’re all sincerity, and sam smiles right back.

“can i ask what it’s like for you? to have these powers?” he asks, careful and kind. he wonders if you get headaches or terribly tired of feeling other people’s emotions all the time, but he doesn’t want to make you talk about it if you’d rather not.

you’re slightly taken aback by the question, and not because you don’t want to talk about it. you just never really have at all before. you realize the simultaneous oddness and loveliness of this conversation. not once have you spoken about your powers with another human before, much less one who has some understanding about them.

“well… i guess i’ve never really thought about it much. just because i’ve never known anything else. i honestly don’t remember much from when i was young, but crowley’s been teaching me how to use them for as long as i remember. it’s both better and worse with practice, i guess. and the way i learned was kind of odd.” you pause, unsure if sam wants to really hear about it all. but he gives you an encouraging nod and you feel genuine interest coming from him, so you continue.

“i started learning with demons, but they feel a whole lot less than humans do. and i can’t feel or manipulate their emotions as easily or strongly since my powers are geared towards humans. but since that’s how i learned, it’s decently easy now, though it technically takes more effort than it does for humans. now i’m practicing on people, and it’s sort of too easy. it takes much more control because i’m used to exerting more power on demons. and humans feel things much more strongly, and are much more sensitive to change. i’ve gotten much better, but if i’m distracted or overwhelmed, my control slips. that’s what happened with mrs. hadley.” suddenly, you remember her. “is she okay?” i made things worse for her, didn’t i? you think.

“she’ll be alright,” sam says. “she was shaken up, but she was doing much better when i left. don’t worry too much about her.”

you almost want to ask again, if she’ll really be okay, but it seems that sam will most likely give you the same answer he just did. “okay,” you relent. then you realize you did more explaining about how your powers work than what it’s like for you. “to really answer your question; it’s my norm, and i’m not sure what it would be like without them. but sometimes i think it might be nice if i didn’t have them. i would’t have to help the demons, and it can be… overwhelming. i’m used to the demons; their emotions are easier to tune out. but with people? well, they just feel a lot. of course, i’m used to my own feelings, but to feel that, plus everything else around me, especially when someone could be feeling so much all at once is just… it can be a lot. i’m learning how to tune it out, but honestly, i’m still figuring it all out.”

sam thinks you look a little embarrassed when you finish, and he certainly doesn’t want you to feel that way. “that makes sense,” he reassures, “i barely had any control over my own powers. i can’t imagine how difficult it is to be in control of something so complicated and fickle as emotions. most people can barely deal with their own emotions. being able to feel everyone else’s too can’t be easy at all.

you nod in simple agreement. “it isn’t. but i’m also glad for it. sometimes, unc– crowley has me use it for his, you know, demon things, and i don’t like that. but i think my powers are part of the reason why i’m able to hate it. i’m so connected to humanity, the good and bad in everything that people feel, that no matter how i grew up, i’ll always have empathy in its rawest form. and though i don’t get too many chances, and i mess it up sometimes, i can help others when i’m away from the demons. last week, there was this girl in here,” you smile lightly at the memory as you begin to recount it to sam, “she was smiling and nice to everyone, but i could feel how just sad she was. i paid for her drink and told her she looked pretty, and the way that it made her feel… i didn’t even have to use my powers. she was just so grateful and happy that she teared up. and i barely did anything at all. that’s what keeps me going,” you say, completely honest, “knowing that i can help and that it’s my choice when i do it.” you feel like some huge weight has been lifted from your chest. you’ve never said this all aloud, and certainly not for someone else to hear. but something about sam and his sincerity and goodness makes you feel comfortable enough to say almost anything at all.

sam looks at you with a sort of admiration and total understanding, and that alone is almost enough to overwhelm you. it seems like, in all your experience in feeling, sam is showing you more, all by himself and without even trying. to be understood, so fully in so little time, is not something you’d ever felt for yourself before.

“i know what you mean,” he says, and you absolutely believe him. you want to know him, more than you’ve ever wanted to know anybody. you want to know all about what he feels and why and what he likes and how he knows what you mean without being able to read your feelings like you can his. and you know that he feels just about the same way you do. he wants to know you just as much as you want to know him.

and so you talk and talk and talk until you realize that the sun is dipping low in the sky because you begin telling him how much you love windows. then it’s a sort of frenzy; you’re worried you’ll be caught and try to leave right away, but sam catches your wrist, his calloused hand so gentle on your skin. he asks for your number, but you don’t have a phone, so you tell him to come back at the same time next week if he can. then you rush out and he watches you go.

the next week, sam appears in the cafe doorway at 1:24 pm, and he looks all soft when you smile at him wide. before you have to go again that day, he hands you a cheap phone with both his and dean’s contact already in place. he tells you it’ll make things easier because he might not be able to make it again next week. he doesn’t know when he’ll be on a hunt or not. then he tells you not to call dean unless it's a true emergency; dean still isn’t sure about you.

when you go, you forget to ask him how to use it. so, when he texts you on thursday to tell that he’s on a hunt, and might not make it to your meeting spot on sunday, you’re very unsure what you’re supposed to say. figuring out how to use the phone itself isn’t difficult, but you’re unaware that your simple response of “that’s okay.” is a bit bare-boned and dry in response to his kindly worded message. over time, you get used to how sam talks over text and learn how to emulate it.

and when sam calls you for the first time, you’re completely taken aback. you’d seen people talking over phone calls many times, but you’d never actually done it yourself. you accidentally hang up on him four rings in, but he calls you back a moment later. your surprise is delighted when you hear his voice through the speaker. then you discover it’s just like a demon call without all the blood involved. you also discover that, while you can pick up on emotions from his voice, you can’t really use your powers at all through the phone.

he regretfully interrupts your long spiel about the different pastries you’ve tried from honeybee cafe, telling you he has to go. you ask why, confused that you can’t just keep talking since you’re now able to through the phone. you love talking to him, and you think he enjoys it too. then he tells you that he was just calling to see if you could meet a different day this week, like he asked at the beginning of the call, and that dean expects him to be doing research for a case right now. you ask why he didn’t just text like normal, why he’d call if he didn’t want to keep talking.

“i do want to keep talking,” he reassures, “it’s just that i don’t have the time right now, but i thought calling might be a little easier than texting this time around. but i can call you again later tonight?”

“okay,” you respond, happy enough with that solution. after that, you call him any time you have something to say. he laughs to himself, completely endeared when you call him to tell him that you saw a very cute cat, then hang up seconds later before he can even respond.

eventually, you come to learn that he can’t actually pick up most of the time, but he tries to as much as possible, and that calling is nicer when you both have the time to actually sit down and talk. as you get to know sam, you learn many, many things along with all the questions he answers about himself. 

most amazingly, you learn what it feels like to fall in love with someone fast, and what its like for them to fall right in love with you too. whatever connection that you and sam felt the first few times meeting each other very easily and naturally turns into love. there’s this tug between the two of you, pulling you closer to each other every time you meet. his hand brushes over yours and you smile at him brightly, and you constantly think about each other when you’re apart.

sam tries to take things slow, feeling a little bit like he’s taking advantage of you and your sheltered past. but you know what you want, what you feel, and what he feels too. he wants you just as much as you want him, and you see no reason not to give each other just that.

and it’s so glorious, because you don’t have to read his emotions to know that he loves you back. he makes it so abundantly clear with the way that he acts around you, the way that he looks at you, and the way that he kisses you. you’ve learned that you’d do just about anything for him. you’ve learned how to feel this wild joy that you didn’t know how to feel before.

and it’s true that you’ve learned other, less pleasant things. you hate aiding demon deals even more than you thought. you’ve begun to think that, maybe, almost everything crowley’s raised you to view as the facts of the world, aren’t nearly as true as you thought. you’ve learned that maybe you don’t really owe him so much for raising you or teaching you to use your powers, and you’ve thought the scary thought that he might’ve done it all just to use you. you’ve learned that you should be able to do anything you’d like without having to fear the king of hell’s wrath. that you want to, probably should, get away from crowley, and that feeling like you don’t have a choice isn’t healthy or good for you at all. you’ve learned that you’re still too scared, but you’d rather be with sam, and that every day you spend with him, you become braver.

you’ve also found out that loving in secret can be hard, and that you want to see sam all the time, not just the times when both of you can sneak away. apparently, dean’s still having trouble “coming around” to the idea of you. he doesn’t know that sam’s yours and you’re his. he’s worried that you’re manipulating sam in caring about you, but sam’s reassured you that his love for you is the realest thing that he feels. you couldn’t be more grateful for the fact that he trusts you so much. 

he trusts you so much that every weekend possible, he meets you in the cafe or the nearest motel and you spend hours just talking or laying in comfortable silence together.

he always books the room with the best view from the window and opens the curtains before you get there so that the sunlight bathes the room in warmth and light. today, the late afternoon light is especially pretty, tinted orange and casting a bright hue over yours and sam’s skin as you lounge in the bed together.

his arm is wrapped around your shoulders, both of you propped against the wall with several pillows. you hold his other hand, playing with his fingers and relishing in the feeling of his pretty nose against your cheekbone. because he can’t resist you, he likes to keep his face as close to yours as possible so that it’s very easy to kiss you. his lips will brush against your cheek constantly, and other times he lifts his hand from your upper arm to gently nudge your face closer to his so that he can seal his lips over yours.

you’ve already talked about lots of things today; the best toppings on salad, sam’s most recent case, the symbolism of rhododendron flowers in the book you finished three days ago, and surely more. but the last hour has been quiet, filled with more rustling of blankets, soft sighs, and occasional whispers more than anything else. you’re content, and sam is too, for the most part. often, you try not to be reading sam’s emotions, but spending so much time with him and being so close to him has put you almost irrevocably in tune with his feelings, and you can feel that something’s nagging at him. it’s both good and making him nervous at the same time, but you don’t say a word. you wait for him, until he’s ready to say whatever it is.

it’s when he presses another kiss to your temple that he speaks, voice a more steady volume rather than a whisper this time. “honey?” he says like a question, signaling to you that he’s got something to say, maybe something important that he wants to ask.

“yes, love?” you respond, trying to sound receptive to whatever it is he wants to talk about.

“i, uh, i asked dean if he’d try and meet you, and i managed to convince him. he– he doesn’t know that we’re together, love, but i told him i ran into you again. i think… i think he probably suspects that there’s more to it than that, but he hasn’t said anything about it and i’m taking that as a good sign. would you be okay trying to meet up with him?” he asks, careful and tentative. you can tell that he’s scared to interrupt the balance of things, but that he really wants this. you know how much he hates hiding this all from dean.

“of course,” you assure him quickly. you want the same as him. you don’t want to have to stay furtive and distant from sam so much. but you also have a question. “are we… going to pretend? you know, not to be together?”

sam’s face falls a little at that thought, and at the hint of sadness in your voice when you ask. “i don’t want to,” he starts.

“but you’re nervous,” you gently interrupt.

“a little,” he admits, giving you a small smile, “but i was going to say that it’s up to you. dean could… i don’t know, freak out and i don’t want you to have to worry about that if you don’t want to.” you nod at his words, feeling a bit embarrassed at your interruption. while you try not to let your ability to discern his feelings dictate exactly how you interact with him, you’re still learning that sometimes what someone feels doesn’t always let you predict what they want to say. and of course, he’s sincere about his concern for you, as always.

“well,” you consider his words seriously, “maybe we don’t have to tell him out right, but if he asks? we don’t have to lie?”

“of course, honey,” he nods, “i’d never lie about being with you if he asked directly,” he promises, sealing it with a chaste kiss to your lips. if there’s one thing you know, it’s that sam is proud of loving you, and one of his least favorite things it’s having to hide it. he wants dean to know, he just doesn’t want him to say something scathing to you or try to keep him away from you.

“okay,” you smile. you understand his hatred for hiding it and his nervousness well. you’d be more nervous than he is now about crowley discovering what you’re doing and who you’re meeting with when you’re out on your own. “but you don’t have to worry, sammy. we’ll try to keep him from asking unless he’s reacting well. if he’s still too suspicious, i’ll know and make sure we won’t act in a way that will make him ask. we have time,” you assure.

now sam feels conflicted, because he’s both relieved by your reassurance and sorry you’d have to hide that he’s yours and you’re his. then he’s suddenly hit by this desire to hide anything at all. he doesn’t want to hide from dean or let the way that dean feels get in the way of him seeing and loving you whenever he wants. he wants to show dean just how good you are and how good you are for him.

“thank you,” he says sweetly, “but i don’t want to keep hiding it from him, not for any longer. you’re too important to me for that.”

you want to melt right into him. “you’re important to me too, sam. really, really important. we’ll do this on your time, yeah? whatever you want.”

“yeah,” he smiles, “and we’ll do other things on your time, and others on ours,” he says assuredly. 

you give him a nod as he reminds you that he’s by your side as you build up the courage to get away from crowley. sam has always been cautious about the topic, never saying too much until it was you who brought it up. the first time you told him you’d been thinking about escaping crowley, about realizing you don’t owe him your service or that he doesn’t treat you well, you had felt this surge of pride rush off of sam and onto you. outwardly, he was gentle and quietly encouraging, and he’s been just that since. he reminds you that you should do things at your own pace, but he’s there to do everything he can to help you. the more time you spend with him, the readier you are to stay with him, and just him. unlearning the things that you’ve had beaten into your head for as long as you can remember is nowhere near easy, but it’s undeniably better with sam by your side.

and less than a week later, you’re nervous and wishing for that exact comfort as you wait for him and dean to meet you in the cafe. you sip on your usual order, glad for its familiarity. after ten long minutes, your head shoots up at the sound of the door’s little bell ringing, signaling the arrival of sam and dean. dean walks in first, eyes scanning the small coffee shop until he sees you. you try not to look too nervous as you stand and send him an amicable smile.

you glance at san as he comes up from behind dean, giving you a reassuring smile. the sight of him relaxes you a bit, though you’re so in tune with his emotions by now that his own nervousness immediately washes over you. as dean approaches you try to get a read on his emotions as well. he’s less hostile than you expected, moreso careful, defensive, and begrudging. there’s also a hint of willingness along with it all, and you cling to that. there’s even some trust thrown into the mix, though you assume that it’s reserved only for sam.

“hi,” sam says kindly as he and dean take the seats across from you. you sit along with them.

“hi, sam,” you answer, reciprocating his friendly smile. “hi, dean,” you then say, turning your head to look him in the eye.

“hi,” he echoes, voice gruff. he settles his elbows onto the table top, trying to look casual and at ease, like he’s the one in control of the situation. “let’s, uh, skip the pleasantries. sammy here tells me that we should be protecting you from crowley. i don’t trust you and i’m not convinced you even need protection at all, given that you were helping him with his little demon deals. i’m also not convinced that you’re not using your freaky powers to make him trust you.”

“dean,” sam hisses. you feel a spike of anger from him when dean uses the word ‘freaky.’

“it’s okay,” you say, smiling a little at sam. you honestly appreciate dean’s frankness. “i understand that. i know we didn’t meet in ideal circumstances. i might not trust me either if i were you. and i’m honestly not sure exactly how i can convince you to, but i’d be grateful if you’d let me give it a shot.” dean looks completely skeptical. “without my powers, of course,” you rush to assure him.

“and i’ll know that how? you can literally change the way that i feel. it’s not really a good look for you,” he points out, earning a glare from sam that he completely ignores.

“you’re not entirely wrong,” you acknowledge, “but that’s a lot easier said than done. first of all, the effects of my powers are only temporary. i can only use my powers on you when i’m around you and focused enough. aside from that, you’d most likely be able to tell if i did use them.” dean raises his eyebrows in suspicion, so you go one to explain further. “you’re aware of what i can do, and you’re rightfully wary about it. that means you’ll most likely pick up on even minute changes in your emotions that i make. when you’re aware like that, you can overpower me. my abilities are strong, but frankly, authentic human emotions are stronger. long story short, i can’t do much at all to you. and while sam’s less wary than you to begin with, he’s still aware enough that the same applies to him. either of you would know and be able to overpower my hold on your emotions if i tried anything. the most i can do is get a read on what you’re actually feeling.”

dean still looks skeptical, but you sense a bit of his unease being to slowly slip away. “how do i know you’re telling the truth?” he demands.

without a word, you send just a small wave of trust and comfort through him. for a moment, he relaxes, but just as quickly, his scowl deepens and his own distrust replaces your influence. your affect on his emotions is easily pushed away.

“that’s what it would feel like if i were trying to get you to trust me with my powers. that was about as subtle as i can be with emotional manipulation, and you still noticed. all i can do is tell you that you’re still skeptical, but a little less than when you walked in here. and i can hope that means that you’d be willing to hear me out. i really, honestly could use the help.” you add as much sincerity to your voice as you can, relying on almost all logic to convince him.

dean scowls even more when you mention his feelings and read them accurately, but he does seem to realize that you read a whole lot more than what you actually said aloud. he also can’t say that he thinks you’re lying. it was easy for him to pick up on your influence. almost immediately. “fine,” he grumbles. “no promises, though.”

you nod, relaxing a bit despite his words being less than kind. “that’s fine,” you accept. “thank you.” you glance at sam, suddenly feeling unsure. he gives you a sweet nod and smile and you take a deep breath before forging on. “i don’t know how much sam told you about my… situation. but… for a long time i just didn’t really know i had any other option than to stay with and help crowley. and you don’t have to believe me, but, for the record, i really don’t enjoy helping him. but i think that he’d freak out if i left. and maybe send an army of demons after me, which i do realize would be highly inconvenient for you…,” you trail off, feeling more and more nervous. you take a deep breath to recollect yourself and give your full explanation as to why dean should be compelled to help you. 

“but crowley’s also bound to find out that i’m holding my powers back and purposely sabotaging his demon deals. and let’s just say that nobody wants that. he wants my powers and i don’t know what lengths he’ll go to to get them. so… if you help me, you’ll be keeping my powers out of the hands of the king of hell, which means slowing down his demon deals and making sure i’m not doing whatever evil demon-y things you think that i might.”

you can see dean contemplating, sense his feelings shifting. he intertwines his fingers and looks at sam with a raised eyebrow. sam nods, his expression completely serious. dean turns back to you.

“alright,” he says, “this is nowhere near the worst deal we’ve ever made. we’ll take you with us, keep crowley and his demons at a distance, and you can get out of our hair and onto your own life once things settle down. sound good?” he asks the question like he’s already made the final decision.

“thank you,” you sigh, shoulders sagging in relief. it’s not perfect since he still doesn’t know that you’re totally in love with sam and he’s totally in love with you, but it’s a better start than just about anything else. then it suddenly hits you that you’ll really be walking away from crowley, and that scares you. sam manages to catch your gaze. he looks at you with a hint of concern, but also relief as well. you can see him asking with his eyes, should we tell him? it’s you that gives him an encouraging nod this time. if you want, you’re saying.

he gives you a smile, and you know it means that he’s going to tell dean, right here, right now. you’re about to smile right back, but your gaze catches on movement behind him. your face drops, and you feel the blood drain from it. you don’t catch sam’s worried look that he gives you before he twists in his seat to see what you’re looking at. everyone reacts just a little too late, and crowley slides into the seat beside you.

“well, hello boys! darling,” he looks at you pointedly before turning back to the brothers. “not quite the trio i expected to find today! or ever, considering the fact that i expressly ordered you to stay away from the winchesters, isn’t that right, darling?” he doesn’t even look at you, but you cringe away from him slightly. a wave of protectiveness rolls off of sam as he clenches his jaw, resisting the urge to pull you right away from crowley.

you avoid crowley’s question entirely. “what are you doing here, crowley?”

“crowley? what happened to uncle? you’re breaking my heart, darling,” he drawls, faking a dramatic offense. “just because it’s one of your free days doesn’t mean i can’t visit you, does it? especially not when i get a report that the winchesters are headed inside your favorite cafe. as your caretaker, i was very alarmed. these two are quite dangerous, you should know.”

sam looks at you carefully, wanting to speak up for you, but not wanting to say what’s yours to say or decide what’s yours to decide.

“i’m leaving with them,” you say to crowley, blunt and too scared to force out any words that aren’t simple. “i don’t want to keep helping you collect souls.” pride and relief wash over sam. it feels good to sense.

but crowley’s anger is the opposite. he’s red-hot mad. “after everything i’ve done for you, you’re going to try and leave with the bloody winchesters?”

“i never asked you to do anything for me. it’s not like any of it was ‘for me’ anyway. it was all for your own gain. sam’s done more for me than you ever did.” you let that last sentence slip out without trying, but you find yourself too angry to be in complete control of the things you say. angry, and afraid.

both dean’s and crowley’s eyebrows shoot up. “sounds like you’ve been spending time with dear sam now, have you?”

you swallow, biting the inside of your cheek before speaking. “i– i have. and i’ve learned much more important things from him than i have ever did from you. so you can just give this up and make things easy. i’m not going back with you.”

“i raised you,” crowley growls. “do you know how much i hate children? but i still raised you, taught you to use your powers and made you stronger than you ever would’ve been without me. what the hell could this giant twat have done for you that’s better and more important than that? and don’t dare say something horrible like love. have you never considered the power that you’d have by my side? clearly you learned nothing of loyalty! you’re completely thankless and a complete dimwit if you thought i was going to just let you go. i’m taking you back, whether you like it or not, and you’ll stay in your room until i’m positive you won’t set foot near dearest dean or your stupid, freakishly tall boyfriend. is that understood?”

“no,” you choke out, reaching for sam’s hand across the table. crowley looks like he’s about to explode. dean quickly puts his hand out to interrupt.

“we’re getting stares,” he says, “we can take this outside.”

“no,” sam counters, standing and pulling you up with him, guiding you to stand by his side. “we’re gonna go. and you’re not following, crowley, unless you want my demon blade shoved up your ass.”

“do i look like i care about stares?” crowley seethes, standing and grabbing your other wrist. you yank at his hold to no avail, and sam moves to break his hold as on you he continues to speak. “i will toss both of you winchesters and everyone else in this godforsaken place across the room until you’re all knocked out cold, if that’s what it takes.”

“let me go,” you insist, voice almost a snarl, right as sam tells him to get his hands off of you.

crowley ignores you, even as you struggle against his iron grip. “you first, moose,” he says through gritted teeth.

the second that dean steps closer to the three of you to intervene, crowley flicks his free hand and sends dean crashing into the farthest wall. a few disjointed screams ring through the cafe and spikes of fear wash over you from all the innocent civilians. sam’s anger grows by tenfold and all of it has you squeezing your eyes shut for a moment. you know that crowley wasn’t bluffing when he threatened everyone in the cafe, so you untangle your hand from sam’s and stretch your arm out in front of him before he can lunge at crowley.

“it’s okay, sam,” you say, voice surprisingly calm. you stop struggling and sam looks at you with such desperation and pleading that you almost want to let him fight. but you don’t want him or anyone else hurt. “i’ll be okay. and i’ll be back.”

“no, don’t do this,” sam starts. crowley doesn’t wait for you to answer as he begins dragging you away. you stumble more than once, looking over your shoulder to see sam start after you. “you don’t have to do this.”

“don’t, sam,” you beg. “it’s okay, i promise.” your voice raises to a shout to make sure he can hear you as crowley pulls you through the door and away from sam.

⟢⟢⟢

you know without a doubt that sam’s looking for you. that he’s pouring every minute into finding you, that he’s probably skipping meals and losing sleep because of it. but you also know that you won’t be easy to find. either way, you’re getting out. out of this godforsaken room with no windows and drab walls and out of this life, away from this fear. and you’re going to do it yourself.

it’s not easy, per se, but it’s not difficult either. just tedious and time consuming. it’s fortunate for you that crowley’s narcissism can blind him to certain things, like the fact that you’re much more adept at using your powers than he thinks you are, or that the demon guarding your door, hazel, hates him for giving her such a boring job. he doesn’t even think that you’re capable of manipulating his emotions, given his extra power as king of hell, and that’s exactly why it works when you do.

your escape plan is simple, though not foolproof. but it seems to be working so far. each time that crowley checks on you, you boost all of the hatred and annoyance in both your guard and him. this makes crowley snap at your guard constantly, berating her and blaming her for things she didn’t do. in turn, this makes her hate crowley even more, to the point that her rage no longer needs to be manufactured. hazel hates him more than enough on her own.

even more subtly, you’ve done your best to appeal to her, mostly by complaining about crowley through your shut door and lessening her annoyance as you speak. at first, she’d tell you to shut up, but now, she listens if you don’t talk for too long, sometimes even complaining back. 

but today, when she began complaining about crowley to you, unprompted, you decided you’d throw all of your effort into escaping. she’s particularly spiteful, all on her own, and all day, you boost that feeling, complaining along with her and building up the sense of comradery she’s starting to feel with you.

crowley stops by, and you can feel her anger acutely. you do as you’ve done every day, making him annoyed so he says something scathing. with the strength of her hatred, you’re impressed that she doesn’t say something back, something that would likely get her killed by his hands.

instead, she waits until he’s gone, and begins to mutter to herself how she’d love to cut that haughty smirk from his face. you lean against the door, making noise so she knows you’re there.

after a few moments, you speak. “you could just leave,” you suggest casually. she scoffs, trying to sound annoyed at you. truly, you can tell just how much she’d like to do exactly that.

“and risk getting hunted down by his minions? not a chance,” she growls.

“i hate him just as much as you do,” you remind her strategically. “if he’s not in charge, you wouldn’t have to worry about his minions, right? whether it’s now or later, i’m getting out and i’m making him pay. he doesn’t know that i have the power to turn every single one of  his demons against him. he thinks i’m weak, but i can topple his kingdom, and i will.” you infuse your words with venom and conviction, just how any demon would like. then you fill her with conviction too, making her believe your words easily. “all i need is to get out of this goddamn room.” to you, her silence is loud, but her feelings are louder. hazel grapples with her hatred and her fear and her utter spite. 

“i know you have the key,” you remind her. crowley would never bother to be the one to unlock it each time you need food. “we can both disappear, right now. crowley will get what he has coming for him, i’ll make sure of that.” you send her a wave of boldness and reassurance, confidence that this would be a good decision. it’s easy to feel when you tip her over the edge. a split second later, you hear the door unlock and come face to face with her determined expression.

“this isn’t a favor to you. it’s for me,” she says, voice low and harsh. “i’ll be waiting to see what you do to him.”

easily, you act just how you know she’d want, eyes and voice ruthless like how you learned to be growing up trying to convince crowley you were like him. “trust me. i’ll rip his kingdom apart brick by brick,” you snarl. she nods, and you brush past her, feet light and quiet as you make it out of the building without incident.

once outside, you break into a run, unable to stay calm enough to walk. clutching the small bag of belongings you took, you make for the road. it’s a bit of a ways away, but you reach the highway, panting and desperately looking out for a car that’ll pick you up and take you to the next town over. all you need is to get on the train and head for kansas. you have the way to sam’s bunker memorized.

too afraid not to keep moving, you walk along the side of the road, listening intently for any car or truck. the area is quiet, frustratingly slow, and the few cars that pass you by choose to ignore the thumb that you stick up in the air.

it’s practically torture, walking and walking and waiting. waiting for something to go wrong, for crowley and his demons to find you within mere hours of your escape. your anxiety builds as your hunger and thirst do, and you want to sit down in the grass when you pass an exit sign signaling another five miles to the town with the train station.

but you don’t think you can stop, even with your parched throat, heavy feet, and anxious heart. it’s a strange feeling; elation mixed with nerves so strong you think you could throw up.

you perk up at the sound of a rumbling car engine, but deflate in disappointment before it even comes into sight from around the corner. it’s headed in the wrong direction, straight back towards the place you want to get away from. for a moment, you wonder if you should try and hitch a ride anyway, in case they can drop you off in a different town with a train station. then the car comes into sight, its sleek black body reflecting back the mild sun of the afternoon. you gasp, an impossible hope entering your body.

it had taken you a moment to recognize it; sam’s never driven the impala to see you before, but he’s shown you pictures of his brother’s beloved car. praying it could really be him, you wave your arms in the air, heart beating wildly.

the car slows and breaks a little ways away from you, and before it even comes to a full stop, the passenger side door swings open, and sam comes running out. he looks nowhere but you as he runs across the wide road.

“sam,” you gasp, voice barely loud enough for him to hear. you match his pace, running to meet him. he practically crashes into you, enveloping you in his arms and sighing out your name. you hug him back just as tightly, pressing your face into his neck.

“i’m so sorry,” he breathes out, “crowley was hard to find and–”

“shut up, sam,” you grinned against his skin, the affection clear in your voice. “don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault. it was my choice and i knew i’d be able to find a way out. and i knew even better that you’d look for me.”

he barely parts from you, just so he can gently place his hands on the sides of your face and really look at you. “you’re amazing. i–” he stops himself from saying sorry again. “i know that wasn’t easy for you, none of it. but you did it. you did it, all by yourself. i’m so proud of you.” 

your heart lurches at his words. they feel too good to hear, too sweet, too full of relief. tears spring into your eyes as you really realize just how difficult it all was, as you’re hit with exhaustion from the walk and the fear and the uncertainty of it all.

“thank you, sam,” you whisper. it’s true that you did it all for yourself, but it may never have happened without him. “you helped me. so much, sam. and i missed you a lot, and– and–” you decide that if you keep talking, you’ll cry. so instead of that, instead of trying to come up with something to bring justice to the way that you feel, you kiss him. you remember that sam knows how you feel because that’s how he feels too. and though you can’t quite show him that in the way you experience his own feelings, you can show him by kissing him, and kissing him hard.

he melts into you, his hands impossibly soft, yet steady and so sure on your face. he kisses you back with the same ferver, right there on the side of an empty highway with his brother likely watching. he doesn’t care, not about any of it.

when you finally part, breathless, dean clears his throat loudly, and you grin at sam a little bashfully. he grins back. you peek around his shoulder to see dean leaning against the car’s hood, trying and failing to hide his smile.

“while i hate to break up the lovefest, i’m not sure how long we’ve got until crowley sends that army of demons you mentioned. let’s hit the road, kids,” he calls out to the two of you. 

in the car, it seems clear that dean’s attitude towards you has improved significantly since your last meeting. maybe it was seeing the way crowley treated you, watching you give yourself up in defense of sam and the others in the cafe, or seeing sam this past week and a half and coming to understand how much he really cares about you. whatever it is, you completely welcome the hesitant sort of affection that begins to permeate dean’s wariness of you.

then, there’s sam, sitting all content in the passenger's side and unable to stay still. he keeps turning to look at you, as if he has to be sure that you’re really there, sitting pretty in the backseat of the impala like he’s imagined a million times before. the only thing keeping him from sitting next to you is the fact that he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands and lips off of you, and that would be a bit too much with dean in the car. so instead, he smiles at you all soft and listens intently when you explain how you got out. he tries not to talk too much to avoid bothering dean, but you can tell that dean doesn’t mind one bit hearing the happy tone in sam’s voice as he talks to you.

and for you, to be flying down the highway and looking at your sam, your revelry, your wild joy, you finally understand what freedom really feels like. what it feels like when it’s yours.

[etherealjellyfishgirl]

Maverick screaming at the top of her lungs at vylad when he tells her he’s different and a shadow night “I WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN I DONT CARE HOW WHERE WHEN NO MATTER HOW LONG ITS BEEN YOURE MINE DONT TELL ME YOURE NOT THE SAME PERSON YOUR ALWAYS MY LOVE AND IVE BEEN WAITNG”

Ahem so I’m going crazy :)

[spooky-salesman]

THE SILENA POST THE WORLD HAS BEEN WAITNG FOR !!

(VERYYY LONG LORE DUMP UNDER IMG CUT)

Silena is a semi main character and if she was in an official comic run, she would be the main character for a good stack of volumes.

At the start of her story, Silena is 14. A sophomore in Highschool and has a decent group of friends including Gwen, MJ, (Melis Jane) , Percy (Percy Parker), and Hazel Osborne .

She gets her mysterio powers while on a history class field trip where both her and Percy get their powers, Percy is blessed by a spider god while Silena basically has a whole magic necklace (later revealed to be a fragment of a reality stone) (this is also canon btw it’s canon every verse has its own set of stones)

Silena being the over imaginative , artsy,

fantasy and magical girl obsessed nerd she is , decides to use her powers for good and becomes “Mysteria”

It’s rather rocky at first , navigating how to use the stone, not getting flattened by villains, etc. her and Percy reveal their identities to another and grow closer as friends.

Percy has a few things happen to him as well such as MJ (his gf) being completely replaced by a chameleon from another universe .

While Percy is busy, he ignores a mugging (which happens to be Silenas dad , Quentin Beck) thinking the police can deal with it.

Silena finds her dad and thinks he’s dead. (dw he is not)

Silena , being immature and this being a “with great power comes great responsibility “ moment for Percy and Silena, Both see it in different ways .

Silena sees it as a way of revenge

Percy sees it as a way to do better.

A fight breaks out between the two (and by fight I mean fist fight.) and the two reconcile . Which is shortly interrupted by Swarm. (Also no. He is not a Nazi. I’m Jew/Romani. Why tf would I make that apart of his character) and Percy gets the “NO NOT THE BEES” treatment. (Sorry Perc, at least you and MJ can chill together in the after life)

Silena now alone , SMITES SWARM. Or tries to but it flees . Later he is defeated. This catches the eye of silvermane who “takes silena under her wing” aka. Straight up

manipulates her and makes her life straight up hell.

Brief interlude of Villains like Shocker, Rhino, Chamelon (the real one not the other universe one Dr strange killed that one) Black cat, and Wolfmann

Also a breif romance between Molten girl (liz Allen) but it ends up in a Peter and Gwen situation.

Also around this time there’s a romance between Silena and her Electra.

Between basically being under silvermanes thumb and getting magical help from Dr Stange , Silenas Life is very busy. Silena also gets other friends like Marcos (hydro man) , Lottie (White rabbit), and some minor villains like Lizard (Kris Connors ) , and Morbius (Dr.Maeve Morbius)

Silverman gets defeated via suit technicality . (Water + technology isn’t good.) also big reveal, Silenas dad is in one piece , Silvermane basically used him as a bargaining chip

Short clone saga arc + Jackal being the worst human being possible. (Dmitri, Both Scopions , and Willow the wisp respectfully experience the horrors )

2 clones introduced

Bianca Riley (Ben Riley with Kaines personality)

And Krystal Riley (Kaine with Ben Riley’s personality.)

Silena gets along great with the two at first but it is quickly shown that Bianca is the evil evil twin. Aka. No morals Spider-Man who is feral. She’s also just cruel to everyone .meanwhile Quentin tries to be a hero like Silena (and gets utterly embarrassed but it’s ok. Can you blame him?? He is just a normal guy?)

And Bianca is the first to get the venom symbiote and genuinely has to be put down after mutating into a spider creature . Honestly very cathartic for Silena and Krystal. (Bianca is a toxic friend.)

———

Personality wise ; Silenas personality is very fluctuating. In video game terms she would have a changling soul from fear and hunger. In normal terms she has a little bit of an identity crisis , and depending on the person her personality changes. She can either be very optimistic or very pessimistic. Very caring or very crude. Etc etc . But she is very imaginative and a problem solver. Starting out very anxious and having her small handful of friends she grows as a character and branches out more and is more confident. That’s not to say though what she’s experienced hasn’t had an affect on her. She is still a major people pleaser most of the time because of the constant beratment from Silvermane and Bianca . And even then , as a sort of defense mechanism , she’s used the stone to seal away memories she never wants to remember again. Ever. While also being a people pleaser she can be chaotic. Often poking fun (out of endearment) at her friends or others. Though that’s not to say she’s very receptive to sarcasm or cruel jokes.she’s a very fluctuating character personality wise like I said . There is no TRUE way to describe her. She bullies and is also the bullied if that makes sense.

Also another key part is she down plays her trauma. She will always believe that what happened or happens to her is no big deal. That it’s fine and that you shouldn’t worry and that no, the glove on her arm is just for decoration and style! And no you shouldn’t tell her dad because he has so much on his shoulder’s already! Why stress him out with something that he shouldn’t worry about!

Also my voice claim for her !

https://youtu.be/k8hRbh3-zAQ?si=T410KSlMk4vuS2zJ

(konata <the Blue haired one is my vc for her btw!!)

[protect-daniel-james]

David Moyes I’m begging you...the sexy Italian bastard of a striker is right there on your bench.... Paquetá is waitng for him....pls....

[enha-stars]

✧ permanently yours, only yours (18+)

pairing: enhypen hyung line x fem!reader (18+)

summary: out of pure whim, you decide to get a tattoo in honour of your lover, except they don’t know, not until they see it

warnings: kissing, grinding, swearing, NO p in v, suggestive, idk anything about tattoos so yeah :)

✧ heeseung:

a tattoo of his signature above your hip bone written in purple ink, with a heart beside it

“i’ve gotta mark you up, pretty. let everyone know you’re mine just as i’m yours. and here, this spot right here, it’s my favourite. only i get to see this part of your skin. so pretty and it’s all for me.”

honestly, heeseung should have learned to manage his time better. if he had told you he'd be home in the evening, you could have showered in the morning. but no, he has no concept of time and is being punished accordingly.

here he is, back from a boys trip and you're not with him. you're not smothering him with kisses or letting him smother you with kisses. no, here he is, sitting on the sofa, alone, waiting for you to finish your shower. if you cared for him even a little, you'd cut your performance in half.

sighing, he leaned back into the sofa, letting his head fall back. when he yelled his arrival, he hoped you would have hopped out of the shower immediately but he was severely disappoints. maybe you didn't miss him as much as he missed you?

at the sound of the door opening, heeseung lifted his head and his eyes widened at the sight before him. there you stood, in his grey sweatpants hanging low on your hips and a sports bra, drying your hair with his towel. all he could do was stare as his desire for you turned animalistic. he spread his thighs, hoping you'd get the message.

lifting your head, you smiled at heeseung and tossed the towel to the side. you walked over to him and glanced down at him, biting your lip. he looked so beautiful, sitting there waitng for you with glassy eyes and eager hands. settling your legs on either side of him, you straddled his lap with a grin.

"hi, hee. welcome back." you placed a small kiss on his cheek and his hands found their place on your waist.

"hi, baby, fuck. i want to be greeted by this sight every time i come home." his eyes trailed your body and he grinned. "never stop wearing my clothes."

you grinned at him and wrapped your arms around his neck. at the movement, his sweatpants shifted. heeseung's thumb rubbed your exposed stomach until he felt small ridges in your skin and looked down.

you followed his gaze and found his thumb rubbing your new tattoo. eyes wide, you bit your lip in anticipation. you had gotten this tattoo done the day he had left for his boys trip as a surprise, knowing how much he liked leaving marks on you, especially on your hips. so why not make that part of your skin permanently his?

all heeseung could do was stare. what was he looking at? a tattoo? shifting you further back on his knees, he leaned down and his eyes widened. it was his signature written in purple. there was a small heart beside it. lifting his head, he met your nervous gaze and he had never felt more turned on.

"baby," he started, "what the fuck is that?"

you smiled at him. "you like it? i wanted to get a tattoo."

heeseung blinked, his hands tightening their hold on your hips and you could feel how much he liked it. if his raging boner against your inner thigh was any indication.

"so you got my signature tattooed on you? on my favourite spot?" his eyes were blown wide with lust and his words came out rushed, like he had better things to go with his breath.

before you could answer, he was smashing his lips against yours, slipping his tongue so easily into your mouth. he moved your hips to match the pace of his own. pulling away, his lips trailed down your neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin. when you push down on his lap, he groans, his hands rushing up to cup your cheeks again as he looks into your eyes. 

"i'm gonna fuck you senseless. fuck, can't believe you got my name tattooed on you. you're mine, aren't you, pretty? all mine."

✧ jay:

a tattoo of his guitar with his initials on it on your shoulder

“i make music for you, baby. it’s all for you. the melody in my heart is inspired by you, conducted by you. it’s all yours. i’m all yours.”

you knocked on the black door of jay's studio. you had texted him that you were here but he hadn't seen it, busy messing with certain guitar strings. at the sound of your knock, he quickly stood and opened the door, greeting you with a wide grin and wide eyes.

you laughed as he immediately grabbed the food out of your hands before placing a kiss on your forehead. he moved aside, letting you into his small, yet comfortable studio.

shutting the door, jay put the food on the table next to the sofa before turning around and capturing you in his arms. he wrapped his arms around you and rested his cheek on your head. you wrapped your arms tightly around his back. "i missed you today, jay."

jay tightened his hold on you before one of his hands tilted your chin upwards. "i missed you so much, sweetheart." he kissed you. "thank you for coming and bringing me food."

you smiled at him before kissing his adam's apple. he would never get tired of it. "of course, have to make sure my baby eats." you pat his cheek before stepping away. you turn away from him, taking the containers out of the shopper.

jay sits back in his chair and watches you. he's been at the studio for a few days now, trying to finish his recording and hadn't had time for you. so when you texted him about coming over, he immediately agreed. he loved seeing you in his studio. something about it was so domestic, so surreal.

he watched as you shrugged off your cardigan, leaving you in a tank top. his eyes roam the entirety of your back before he looks back at your shoulder and stands up, eyes wide and hands already reaching for you.

at the sudden movement, you turn your head but jay grabs both of your shoulders, keeping you faced away from him. he steps closer and dips his head, trying to understand what was on your shoulder.

"sweetheart," he mumbles. "what am i looking at right now?"

"huh?" you wince when his fingers gently graze your inked skin. "oh!" you turn your head and he glances at the edge of your upturned lips. "i wanted to get a tattoo for you. do you like it? i couldn't decide between a guitar or a chefs hat but the guitar felt more fitting."

at your words, jay's lips parted and he stared at the guitar on your shoulder. it looked exactly like the one beside his chair and when he looked closer, he could see his initials on the soundboard. his thumb brushed over the tattoo a few times, refusing to believe it was real. were you even real?

slowly, jay turned you around and at your nervous smile, his eyes darkened and he's pulling you into him, capturing your lips in a messy kiss. his hands are all over you before they slip under your top and he's hands are flat on your back, pushing you closer to him until he can feel your boobs pressed against him. he groans when you suck on his tongue. pulling away, he pants into your mouth, mesmerized by the string of saliva that connects you both.

"fuck, sweetheart. sit on my dick, yeah? wanna stare at this tattoo as i fuck you. you're gonna feel so good, i promise."

✧ jake:

7 stars that are placed in the same sequence as the australian flag on your ankle

“don’t tell me to go home, sweetheart. i am home. my home is wherever you are. whether it be here or a random street, you are my home.”

"yeah, i'll check later tonight. i will. okay. goodnight, mom." jake sighs as he hangs up the phone, throwing it across the bed. he rubs his temple, wishing he had kept his big mouth quiet. he had mentioned to his mother that he missed australia once, and every day since then, she had told him to book a flight home.

getting up, jake decides he's just going to keep pushing it off until his mother forgets. just because he misses australia doesn't mean he wants to go back. his home was here, with you.

jake ventures into the living room, smiling when he sees you laying on the couch, doing some work. the furrow in his eyebrows disappears and his chest feels light. he walks over to you and lifts your legs, despite your yelp, and sits down, placing your legs in his lap. he throws his head back and shuts his eyes.

despite staying quiet, you stare at jake. you frown when you notice his tense shoulders and his downturned lips. for the past couple of months, jake's family back in austriala had been telling him to come back now that he was done with masters. he, however, had no plan to go back. not when he had built a life with you here.

"jake," you sigh. you wished you could do something. you had told him that he should go back, and he immediately told you no. when you had told him that you were okay with going back with him, he kissed you and asked you to never bring it up again. that's why, when he was at the gym a few days ago, you went and got a tattoo in thought of him. it was purely spontaneous. needing to put all the love you had for him somewhere. where better than on yourself?

"yes, darling?" he turned his head and opened his eyes. he could feel his mood lifting as he stared at you, looking at him with so much concern and love, wearing nothing but his short and some shorts.

you pursed your lips, wanting to so badly talk to him about this but you knew it wasn't a conversation he wanted to have. instead of fuelling the fire, you decided to put it out.

"can you take off my socks? i'm getting warm."

jake chuckles as he pulls off your socks and disregards them on the floor. he begins rubbing your legs, needing to touch you like this. you only watch him as he rubs up and down your legs. you can tell he has so much on his mind but he wants none of it. so, like the good girlfriend you are, you place your laptop on the floor and shift your legs closer on his lap, until your ankle brushes over the bulge in his pants.

jake grins at the feeling and lets you have your fun teasing him. you use your ankle and toes to rub him through his sweatpants until the bulge has become more prominent. jake takes it because he needs it. he needs a release to unscramble the mess in his mind.

"fuck, darling," he mumbles. when it gets to be too much, he grabs your ankles and stops your movements. he opens his eyes and grins at you, a twinkle in his eyes. you squeeze your thighs close, wanting this to be about him. his thumb rubs small circles on your ankles until he feels tape. glancing down, jake lifts your leg and stares at the inside of your ankle.

"damn, baby. a tattoo? when'd you get this done?"

you watch him as he leans closer to your ankle, trying to figure out what he's looking at. he rubs the piece of tape again before his jaw goes slack and realization settles in his muscles. his grip on your ankle tightens and you can feel his breath on your skin.

"stars? darling, are these..."

you nod. "yeah. placed the way they're placed on the flag. i wanted to show you that i loved you. whether it be here or there."

jake stares at the tattoo before he slowly turns his head. his hot gaze burns into you and you wince. "is it too much?"

instead of answering, he pulls at your ankles and pulls you closer to him. on your back, he spreads your legs and angles himself between you, one leg in between yours and the other off the couch. he looks down at you before he begins to attack your neck with open mouth kisses. he kisses up your neck until his lips press against yours and you're whining into his mouth. angling his body to yours, his boner rubs against your thighs and you're both gasping.

"you're so good to me, baby. fuck, i can't wait to taste you. i don't care where go as long as i get to bury my face in your cunt. you and your pussy are all i need. let me show you how much i love you, baby."

✧ sunghoon:

a figure skate that leaves musical notes in its wake on your wrist

“you’ve been with me since the beginning. you’ve been by my side since i was on the ice and now on stage. i don’t love anyone the way i love you. let me show you how much your support means to me.”

some people, you decided, were simply more talented than others. your boyfriend, for example, was the prime of example of this. you had watched him as he once took the ice rink by storm. figure staking came naturally to him, as if the ice was a part of him.

later, when he decided to pursue a life of a musician, an artist, it came naturally to him. the music spoke to him and the dances where at his whim. he was simply good at everything he tried. he believed it too, knowing he was talented. he had you, of course he'd be talented.

sometimes, though, when his old life and current life intertwined, sunghoon's confidence plummeted a bit. it was hard to focus on performing when people kept complimenting his skating skills and it was hard to skate when people kept complimenting his singing skills. he'd been asked by his agency to open the next award show. however, they wanted him to combine his talents and perform while skating.

it was killing him a bit, he could admit. while he was good at both things individually, to put them together and demand the best was a bit... irrational. but he would do it. he would. he just needed to stop worrying.

sunghoon was too busy skating, trying to sync the moves on the ice with the music that blasted through the speakers. it's why he didn't hear you come in, or yell his name.

you stood at the egde of the rink, staring at sunghoon's lonely figure on the ice. you watched him spin in circles, going up and down the rink in anger. you could feel the tension roll off of him and all you wanted to do was wrap him in a blanket and kiss his worries away. but he had a job to do, and you would do your best to support him.

through everything, you were sunghoon's biggest supporter. having been friends since you were kids, you had been with him as he grew up. and then, as his girlfriend, you saw him turn into a man.

you unconsciously rubbed your bandaged wrist. sunghoon had been spending all his free time the past few weeks either at the rink or practice room. when he got like this, it was hard for him to see his support system. although he knew he had you, sometimes he couldn't believe that he did. you wanted him to lean on you, to use you as a shoulder to cry on.

it's why, when you randomly passed a tattoo parlour the other day, you wandered in. you didn't mean to get a tattoo, but you started thinking about sunghoon and how talented he was and how proud of him you were and you knew. the only way to show sunghoon he wasn't alone in his worries was to prove it.

as sunghoon spun in circles, he saw your figure standing at the edge of the rink, watching him. warmth immediately washed over him at the sight of you. he knew he had been neglecting you, but here you were, still choosing to spend your free time with him. gosh, he loved you so much.

stopping, sunghoon skated towards you. at your wide smile and shiny eyes, sunghoon couldn't help but grin back at you. he stopped right in front of you, almost cooing at your slightly shivering figure.

"hi, love."

"hi, hoon. you look amazing out there. i was mesmerized."

although you always said this, sunghoon felt his cheeks warm at your words. it didn't matter what others told him, it never truly reached him. but you, he heard you. he would always listen to you, even if he didn't always believe it.

"thanks, love. what are you doing here? it's cold." sunghoon didn't mind the cold, but he didn't want you to get sick.

you shrugged. "i wanted to see you. have you eaten?" at his nod, you continued. "i promise i won't bother you. i just want to be here with you." you smiled at him, hoping your joined hands and pursed lips were enough to convince him.

they were.

rolling his eyes, he pats your cheek and tries to skate off but you grabbed his hand and pulled him towards you. you slammed your lips against his, holding him in place. needing this as much as you did, he wrapped an arm around you and cupped your cheek, deepening the kiss.

you pulled away, breathless. even though you were cold, you could feel a different kind of heat spread throughout your body. a little neglect would do that, you had learned. this time, you patted his cheek. "go," you tell him. "i'll be here."

in a daze, sunghoon nodded and skated backwards, his eyes on you. as the music played, he lost himself to the music. he repeated the routine until he was dripping in sweat, until he was sure his muscles were sore.

you watched him with a heated gaze. there was something so majestic about sunghoon on the ice. he truly did look like an ice prince.

through his spins and elegant movements, sunghoon caught you rubbing your wrist. the first time he saw, he assumed it was nothing. but then every time he looked over, you were rubbing your wrist. concerned, he skated to you.

when you saw sunghoon making his way to you, you raised an eyebrow at him. you stood from the bench and leaned against the ledge. before you could ask him, he gently grabbed your wrist and inspected the bandage on it. his eyes narrowed and he frowned.

"what happened? did you hurt yourself?" sunghoon bit his lip. had he truly neglected you so badly? you were hurt and he didn't even know. "does it hurt, love?"

at his concern, you shook your head and laughed. he truly was too cute. shyly, you removed the bandage as sunghoon kept his dark gaze on your wrist. his eyes widened and you stood in silence as he stared at the markings on your wrist.

with a feather-like touch, his thumb grazed the figure skate and music notes that graced your wrist. you watched as he brought your wrist closer to his face and smiled when he kissed the skin right beside the tattoo.

"you..." he looked up at you with dark, blown out eyes. this was for him. a figure skate and musical notes because you knew him. you knew who he was and his talents and his doubts and you loved him all the same. "you did this for me?"

you nodded. "i wanted to prove to you that you have me. that i know what you're capable of. i'm with you." you held up your wrist and waved it in front of him. "for life."

sunghoon could only stare at you before he mumbled a quiet "fuck it" and skated to the exit. he stepped off the ice and with all the grace only he could have, he kicked off his skates and gloves and walked to you, eyes ablaze.

you could only watch him with wide eyes, heat spreading all throughout your body at his look alone. you needed him, so badly. and by the looks of it, he needed you just as badly.

without any hesitation, sunghoon cupped your cheeks and slammed his lips against yours, harshly. you were pressed against the ledge as he pushed into you. you wrapped your arms around his neck as he fit in between your legs. he slipped his tongue into your mouth before moving to your neck, biting and sucking.

you bit your lips, trying to stay quiet. sunghoon bit your collarbone before leaving open mouth kisses back up to your mouth. "let all your noises out, doll. just us here." he kissed your lips before he patted your thighs. "jump."

wrapping your legs around his waist, sunghoon carried you to the locker room, his lips interchanging between your neck and lips. you pressed down on him and he squeezed your hips.

"i'm sorry for neglecting you, doll. i'll never ever forget that i have you. you truly have been there for me through everything. now let me fuck you silly to prove that i'll always be here for you."

[pulledpurplecurtains]

AND I CAN SEE YOUU WAITNG DOWN THE HALL FOR ME AND I CAN SEE YOUUU UP AGAINST THE WALL WITH ME

i’m never gonna forget the way my jaw hit the floor when i heard these lyrics for the first time

[rpsense]

just a little add on about campelysium bc lol i remember they were around as the same damned rp but were promoting as a twitter rp. but it flopped BIG TIME. then a year or a two later came back to promote as a discord rp and acting like they're brand new 😭 many times i tried to app on that rp but just can't put myself into cause there's always so icky about them (can that first elysium anon come back im waitng for the tea)

i think i sorta remember what you’re talking about. the twitter rpc will never appreciate something with that level of worldbuilding. glad i’m not the only one who had bad vibes about it lol - x

[badasserywomen]

Ok so, I’ve got an idea on how we lure Shal back into her prison, (optionally, of course. I’m perfectly fine with her roaming free, stealing wives and doing her hot badassery)

We just pile in a bunch of naked volunteers in there, and then put up a big ass neon sign that says “Take us”. It’s fool proof.

Seeing as to how I am suggesting this potential solution, I volunteer to be the first on the list. Who’s with me?

Sadly shal's onto these lure tactics and knows a trap when she sees it, especially if there is a large gathering of naked ladies waitng for her. One lure shal is prone to fall for is dangerous women who threaten her….and milfs are a bonus.

[tennessoui]

“You don’t want me.”

For the 4 word prompts!

we're slowly working through these!!! thank you for your patience <3 this is set in the same universe as use my body to break your fall, probably a few months after they kill the chancellor and escape from coruscant.

(from this prompt list)

(975 words)

Anakin can’t help himself. He reaches out, across the few inches of mattress, and strokes down his master’s face reverently. In sleep, the hard lines around his eyes and forehead have relaxed. He looks so young like this.

His fingers have barely left the bristles of Obi-Wan’s beard when the older man opens his eyes. They’re golden in the predawn light. They’d be gold in any sort of light, really. But like this, the yellow of them like this takes Anakin’s breath away. He knows he should be disgusted by them. He knows what they mean.

But they’re warm, looking at him now. Twinkling and heated and so soft. Molten gold. 

“You’re not sleeping,” Obi-Wan points out, shifting himself so that he’s leaning up on his elbow to look down at Anakin. Between them, the bond tenses and pulls tight as Obi-Wan wraps it around first his Force signature and then Anakin’s as well. It’s less of a morning ritual and more of an unconscious habit at this point, but it’s one that Anakin can’t help but relish in.

Over the years he spent as a Companion, plenty of people shared his bed, had his time. None had ever touched him the way Obi-Wan could so easily. None had ever made him feel like he would never have to be alone ever again.

“Yeah,” Anakin admits. “Sorry.”

“Nightmares?” Obi-Wan asks, tone a step away from concerned.

“What do I have to have nightmares about?” Anakin asks him. It’s a non-answer, and Obi-Wan knows it the same way Anakin does. He tries to bluff it away anyway. “Yesterday I spent two hours in the garden.”

Obi-Wan hums, amused despite himself. “You make it sound as if you worked labrously in the garden, darling. When the truth is, you sunned yourself for several hours while I toiled away planting the tomatoes you wanted to see grow.”

“You didn’t want me to touch them anyway and you know it,” Anakin mutters back, twisting closer to lie on his side and look at his lover. “I went over to you for a minute, and you banished me back to the grass.”

“I didn’t want you trampling all over my plants, I would have been fine with you helping—”

Anakin makes a point of turning his nose up and away. “You love how much sun I get,” he says teasingly. “You wouldn’t love me half as much if I were as pasty as you. My tan is the only thing left from when I was a Companion; don’t even try to pretend that you don’t appreciate it.”

He looks back at Obi-Wan with a smile only to find the man looking at him consideringly. Guardedly. “Is that what you dream about, darling?” he asks. “Being a Companion. Do you miss it?” 

Anakin blinks at him. Obi-Wan stares back. It’s the sort of stare that Anakin does have nightmares about. It’s the look he wears right before he’s about to do something that they’ll both hate, but that he thinks will save him. He’d worn it the nights before he’d left him. Anakin knows that look. 

“I do dream about it,” he says carefully. He can feel the way Obi-Wan tenses in the Force, the way he draws back. “All the time. I’m back in my quarters, and wearing one of the heaviest headpieces, a veil, and a gown. I’m waitng for someone. I want it to be you every time Threepio announces a client, but it’s not. It’s never you.” Anakin follows his lover across the bed, carding his hand through the man’s chest hair and hold tightly to it.

“Anakin, darling,” Obi-Wan starts to say, but Anakin cuts him off, speaking louder.

“Most of the time, they never take the veil off. It’s like it’s a part of me. Sometimes, between clients, I go to the mirror and take it off myself—but I have no face. There’s…nothing to me. Nothing more. And—and sometimes you do come. You come in and take off my veil and look at me and then you just—you keep going, and everything comes off and we’re in bed, and I’m bare and you—you don’t want me. You look at me, and then—then you just leave. And I think I’m going to die from the pain of you leaving, but I just—I’m frozen, on the bed. And then Threepio tells me that there’s another client waiting, and it just…it never stops.”

Obi-Wan is silent.

“I do dream about being a Companion,” Anakin admits in a whisper. “But they’re nightmares. Because I’ve lost you. And—that’s not what I want. That’s never what I want. I made my choice, and if you ever try to make me remake it, I swear to the Force I’ll never forgive you. I’ll—I’ll kill you.” His fingers tighten into claws on Obi-Wan’s chest, and the man hisses.

“Darling,” Obi-Wan says roughly. “Fuck, darling.” With a touch of effort, he rolls them over so that he’s looking down at Anakin worshipfully. His eyes are bright golden-yellow, all molten heat, and when he presses their bodies together, Anakin can feel a familiar hardness.

“No,” Anakin yelps with a gasp, “I was threatening you, Obi-Wan! You’re not allowed to get off on that!”

“Mm,” Obi-Wan agrees, bending to press kisses against Anakin’s jaw and neck. He tilts his head upwards. Of course he does. He’s desperate for Obi-Wan. He always has been. “Well noted, precious. Why don’t you try again? I’ll pay attention this time, I swear it.”

The bond curls possessively around Anakin’s Force signature, squeezing terribly hard. Anakin, even though he knows he probably shouldn’t encourage this kind of behavior, can’t help but relax into the hold. As much as Anakin will always be a Companion, his lover—his master—may always be at least a little bit of a Sith.

It’s alright. They’re alright.

[running-with-kn1ves]

Can a pt 2 of yandere orc x reader. Can we name him buck? Where this is like 8 months after she was sold out by her high ups and now she’s 7-8 months prominently pregnant with the buck’s half orc baby. now that she pregnant they had to give buck his own cell which is bigger and wider with a bigger bed for the 2 of them, that comes with a another big but smaller bed because they are expecting twins and y/n has a waitng nurse on her beck and call. but I can image her not doing too much work since buck wants to be the one to take care of her and be the one dishing out all y/n demands and desires. I can imagine buck pronouncing her pregamt self around the other inmates to show off his obvious claim of her that’s literally growing in her womb. Have her sit on his lap while he eats. even pregnant she still defiant, but not upright violent like from before and has completely give up on the “I’m your high up” and just accepts her situation. and all she does is refuse his romantic and sexual advances and finds every way to complain about her situation because he got her pregnant and now he has to deal with the consequences of it. after Claiming her buck is overwhelm with the deep urge to do everything in his power to keep his mate happy and comfortable, so instead of being annoyed with her complaints he takes them as a challenge. she complains her clothes not fitting her and having no maternity clothes, he takes his clothes rips them to fit her size Boom theres your maternity clothes (also his clothes are reeked with his scent so just another layer of his claim on her. Talk about killing 2 birds with 1 stone). says she bored? boom threatened the high ups now they have a radio, tv, board games and books (and children books too.Buck likes to read to the little ones for bed right before he completely tear ups their mom’s pussy). Says the cell is small, dingy, ugly and suffocating, the bed is disgusting and small and they barely have any privacy (the open toilet), alright boom new and bigger cell with provided materials for her to decorate the cell to her liking (Buck: women like to decorate things right? Make it pretty honey) bigger and newer mattress, the cell is built with thick concrete walls and is away from the other inmates (privacy for s3x cuz y/n gets embarrassed on how’s she moans but buck finds them adorable 🥰 plus she is for him only so he also likes the privacy as well) and a small bathroom and a tub for y/n and the arriving babies. y/n doesn’t like prison food, boom new brought in food made especially for her. She bored, give him a list of hobbies you want to pursue and he’ll make it happen (sewing, writing stories 😉, basketball, etc). you guys take daily walks together. At first you use to walk a way from him to get farthest from him, but now he takes long strides just for you to waddle quickly behind him while demanding for him “to slow down” and “let’s hold hands”. I like to think y/n as a tsundere, like “I’m only asking if you’re okay, because your my only source of that provides me things, not that I actually care, hmmp“ “i only want to cuddle because I’m cold”. because she’s a tsundere she gets embarrassed real easily. like when she gives him affection (like a quick peck on the cheek) she backs off quick while looking at the other direction with a red face . “Hey brute bow down, I said bow down!“Smooch “hey don’t say shit that was for earlier, not because i wanted to”. Buck is has muscles but he does have a bit of chub too, so he’s really beefy. he has a flat and hard undefined stomached with really thick and beefy arms, biceps and thighs, so when y/n touches his biceps they feel like he’s flexing his arm when he’s not. When he goes to work out he purposely tries to lift heavy weights to impress her, he even takes he shirt off (she notices and gets really hot and bothered by it). He does everything within him to impress her, whether it’s petty as beating another inmate up for slightly or roughly talking to her, to act like a complete fool like winning lifting weights contests to just have her look his way. He

likes to play it off for his minions that she is the lost puppy that seeks his attention and affection when in reality it’s really him (he likes to act tough and cool, the only person who gets to see him all soft and nice is her). I have so much more. Like his childhood, how he got into prison, his family, how him and y/n met, the kids, etc.

Legit love this-- I theorized a little bit about the possible future and past of him but I'm interested in your version! And sure why not-- Buck is such a masculine and cocky name that it fits. I never really came up with a name for him because I couldn't find one I liked.

I think if his darling stays with him in prison, it'd have to be partly because the staff is afraid of him/are trying to keep him on good behavior. The prison isn't well known for its "security" per se considering the amount of riots and breakouts they've had, so it'd be real easy for Buck to cause a ruckus and issues in the facility. Especially if his darling was taken away from him after the short-lived protest from earlier. Orcs are big, far bigger than most creatures so the amount of damage he could do just for one measly guard wasn't worth it. They'd hand over his darling to him in a heartbeat.

Considering developing pregnancies aren't common in prison, it would take a while for his darling to find out that she was pregnant. The arrangement of her and Buck wasn't as official until it was found that she was carrying his baby. Of course the personnel would immediately want to dispose of it but there's no way Buck would let that happen.

He'd definitely prance around, showing off his darling to the other inmates and purposefully shoving it in the guards faces. He's the only one who gets to have such a privilege there, and he's intent on letting everyone know it. The place is already corrupt so there isn't much pushback; he has more than enough means to pay off anyone who wants to oppose.

With time, his darling will slowly accept defeat. It's clear no ones going to help her and there's no easy way out. The best thing to do is to put up with it for the time being, and try to avoid Buck as much as possible. But, the defiance never gets very far. She'd still be stubborn and occasionally yell unrealistic threats but that just makes it all the more enjoyable for the orc.

He has a natural instinct to protect and to make his spouse comfortable, but that doesn't mean he'll let her go off without a set of rules. Buck won't leave her alone with other inmates, and will enforce meals and self care. He uses embarrassment as a way to get back at his darling if she misbehaves, and as a way to tease. Whether it's forcing her to shower with him in the public baths or making sure everyone can hear as he pins her to the bed.

Getting supplies or necessary materials for his darling isn't difficult either; there are plenty of low rank punks he can steal from to get what he doesn't have and higher ups will sneak in anything for the right price. He'd try to sneak in a whole store if it was for his darling.

I can definitely see his darling as an almost "tsundere" type as well lol, she has too much pride to let Buck in on any vulnerabilities. She'd be very subtle on affections if she ever were to give them, and is passive-aggressive when she needs something. With time Buck learns how to distinguish her body language and needs.

Of course he has the typical orc appearance: muscle beefcake body and all. In the first start of the relationship he'd focus more on physically trying to impress his darling, picking her up and getting into more brawls just to show his strength. Not to mention, he has to make sure no one thinks he's going soft just because he acquired new "property." So dirty talking in public and out in the yard is a must. He has no qualms with shoving his darling against the fence, trailing dangerously low with every touch. He's very in tune with his primal urges and expectations as that's how he's been raised. But as it becomes clear his darling is pregnant, he turns to working more on emotional support and attention.

He's definitely the type to brag so he'd tell a completely different story about his darling to other prisoners, boasting about how she's obsessed with his attention, and won't leave him alone. About how she begged him to have his baby. When in reality, she is forced to go everywhere with him else a tantrum ensues, and the baby wasn't planned-- although desired by buck.

I love the idea of a full life for buck! I think his personality is my favorite to write and read about. He's got so many himbo qualities. Unfortunately I don't have the time to write a full out story or one-shot for him again but I enjoy the idea-- I could definitely see him and his darling's relationship being really fun to write especially because it takes place in such a restricted environment.

[frostluvrs]

the hate jules gets is honestly so ridiculous i’m so serious when i say some euphoria stans (especially the ones on tiktok and twitter) need euphoria taken away from them and i cannot wait until this season is done especially after last episode.

the fact that anyone watched that scene of rue speaking to her and PRAISED rue for it is absolutely insane especially bc i promise you that is not what sam levinson wanted you to come out of it thinking that rue was correct. i promise you he does not want you to think for example rue was correct in going off on jules about leaving in s1. jules is NOT RESPONSIBILE for rue’s sobriety and being depended on by her when she shouldn’t have been and rue relapsing is not her fault. she needed to do what was right for her and she literally explained it all in her special episode.

idk how does anyone watched that entire scene in general and wasn’t just incredibly upset and uncomfortable the entire time you were at some point rooting for rue is that scene ? praising her? wtf is wrong with ppl 😭😭

and ppl saying “jules has the audacity to say she loves her after cheating” “she showed up in elliot’s clothes” “she thinks she can snitch on rue after what she did” like you cannot be serious

her cheating does not mean she wants rue to DIE and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her either and WHO GAF ABOUT CLOTHES SHE WAS WEARING it was not the time to care about that. like you can’t be serious ????

and ppl shitting on her for telling her mom. what else was she supposed to do? talking to rue about it first would have been a disaster. she did the right thing she’s a literal teenage girl like what else is she suppose to do? let rue overdose? not say anything? what so the same ppl shitting on her for saying something can shit on her for not saying something and blames her for rue overdosing ? bc we all know they would. jules cant win with this fandom. she didn’t want rue to DIE no one cares about cheating or clothing or whether her saying she loves her is truthful or not.

also the fact ppl were hating her for it bc the suitcase could get rue in trouble? SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE SUITCASE DO YOU WATCH THE SHOW AT ALL

ppl have now been using jules cheating as an excuse to bash her and comment on every (correct) defense of her with “yea she still cheated though” like i promsie you cheating is not the worst thing someone did on this show and most of y’all’s favs on this show have done just the same amount of bullshit and bad things.

like ppl have BEEN WAITNG for a reason to jump on her and now that it’s finally here they’ll milk it forever. the fact jules haters are always like "we're not transphobic we just hate her/she's annoying" since s1 when they had no reason to hate her as much as they did and now that she cheated so many of them are like “i can finally hate her now publicly” like they’re all so transparent and so many ppl can keep claiming every week they aren’t transphobic and ppl are making a problem where it isn’t but your reactions to her vs every other character that has done just as much bullshit (and more actually) is very telling. especially when so many of them are like “i always hated jules for some reason” or “she’s always annoyed me” like oh i think i can tell you the reason you felt that way but you won’t like hearing it.

the sudden cal sympathizers and stans after his episode? like oh you can understand him but you can’t understand the reasons jules does what does like oh okay! and oh you hate jules but like cal now and think he’s funny bc of that stupid terribly written speech to his family in episode 4? you cant be serious.

it’s just ridiculous and she’s held to such high standards compared to every other character and this one fuck up is going to follow her forever on the show. and ppl are LYING when they say other characters get just as much criticism as her like no they do not especially when jules gets the most unwarranted hate out of every character since s1.

it’s not even just jules either it’s other characters in this show ppl have terrible takes on like rue and rue when it comes to her addiction and addiction in general like a lot of you need to be banned from watching this show.

[droseraceaes-prophecy]

You just think….omg plants…eat buggies…THROUGH THEIR OWN MOUTHS? AND WITHOUT WAITNG FOR IT TO DECOMPOSE OVER A MONTH?!? Wow i’m so happy to be alive

[ignorancebound]

​Nick smiled to himself as he heard the end product of his recent recording. It looks like his recent efforts weren’t wasted. He finally managed to get out the sound he had been envisioned. He was finally done with his commission work. He was running out of time, so he would have to do the mixing later. Making sure to save everything, he packed his stuff up. 

Once he pressed the button for the door to open for him, he jumped once he saw someone directly behind it. His mind immediately thinks the worse, like always. He does his best to ask a more reasonable question instead. “I-I’m s-sorry were you w-waitng for mmm..... me t-to finish u-up?” 

@theaterofmisfits​

[wenxingjun]

一百 (hundred) translation

this is a song by ling chao from idol producer !! it’s really. Wow. because it IS about idol producer and honestly it’s really emotional and i love the language use in this. long post so click on.

* ip references are highlighted! mostly song names from the nine percent members

我漫步星河大海

i roam across sky and sea

再穿过山脉呐喊

climb mountains and scream

步履蹒跚只为想看那一朵花盛开

stumbling along, just to see that flower bloom

从2018直到现在依旧死心不改

from 2018 till now, ever determined till i die

我曾也来自一百

i was once part of a hundred

也曾有那般精彩

and i once had that spark of brilliance 

我时常会碰壁

often, my path is blocked 

也时常会 犯病

often, this old sickness returns

遇到多少人

no matter who i meet 

也终将会离开我注定

in the end they leave, destined

在昏昏沉沉的世界里看不见光明

in this daze of a world i can’t see the light

在每个安静的夜晚

every quiet night

总是莫名的被吵醒

i’ll be woken, indescribable 

我发现我不再那么天真

i’ve discovered i won’t be that innocent again

要适者生存不会再为情所困

survivors won’t lose themselves to their hearts

涂鸦在每个街道和每个清晨

graffitiing every street and every morning

想要留下什么证明自己苟存

just to leave behind something to prove that i lived

我想要回到那一年的城市里找自己

i want to go back to the city then, find myself

再道一句晚安致你

bid one more goodnight 

我越努力就会越幸运

the harder i work, the luckier i’ll be

逐渐熟悉努力改变自己

slowly getting familiar with working to change myself

我磕磕碰碰了好几年还没有放弃

i’ve been challenged so many years but i haven’t given up

因为背后站一百个兄弟

because a hundred brothers stand behind me

我想看那片晴空再覆盖万里

i want to see that vast, clear sky stretch on

我想听他们大喊自己的悲喜

i want to hear them scream their pains and joys

我想与他们分享这些年的喜怒哀乐

i want to share everything about these years with them

聊聊这几年我人生如戏

tell them how my life has been colourful as a play

肩上的压力

the weight on our shoulders

我们放不下也大旗扛得起

can’t be put down, but we can still raise our flag

尽管链子脏了

though our chains are dirty / worn

有些fake 妄想要占领

there are more fake delusions to be conquered

我看不惯

i won’t tolerate

网络上那些键盘敲击用力

the internet’s angry punches of the keyboard

也听不得

and won’t hear

我们这辈子不能rap 不能演戏

we can never rap or act in our lifetime

尽管消费诋毁我的是非

despite the cost, the slander of my rights and wrongs

我不理会你的愚昧

i don’t care about your ignorance 

我们这一代名字

our generation of names

永远都会刻在里程碑

will forever be carved in history’s stone

就算荆棘遍地阻挡

it doesn’t matter if thorns block our every way

我们依然实至名归

our talent will still bring us to fame

I feel like I’m losing

I feel like I’m solving

I feel like I’m rolling

This burning remains

I feel like I’m losing

Searching for memories

I feel like I’m solving

Kingdom forever lives

I feel like I’m rolling

Though it was too late

你听没听过

have you heard of

忘不掉的情人

the lover you can’t forget

记忆中的女孩

the girl of your memories

陪伴你那年青春

accompanying you through the years of your youth

我们的未来

our future

就像那首不服输的

sounds like refusing defeat

Can’t slow down

如果迷茫

if you’re lost

不如回到家听飘向北方

better to go home and listen to stranger in the north

那个18岁的少年郎在舞台中央

that 18-year-old youth in the centre of the stage

等待对手背上行囊早不会慌张

waitng for a match, picking up his bag, never worried

看着博物馆的达芬奇

look at the museum’s Da Vinci

把难过通通flip

flip this sadness on its head

幻想陪伴你的意中人

imagine your true love by your side

再慢慢入睡

and slowly fall asleep

在未来站上音乐节

in the future, performing at music festivals

面对这世界默默演���着失眠夜

face the world and sing of these sleepless nights

理性悄悄告诉我

reason secretly telling me

Come back to me

别害怕

don’t be scared

前路让坚定治愈你的难题

the road ahead will let determination cure all your difficulties 

No no现在我表示不会低头

no no now i show i won’t bow my head 

Ei ei 让世界听到我们宇宙

ei ei let the world hear our universe

谁又能够决定这场游戏成王败寇

who can decide, in this game winners shine and losers fall

谁能听懂如果你能感同我的身受

who can understand, if you can feel what i feel

I feel like I’m losing

I feel like I’m solving

I feel like I’m rolling

This burning remains

桀骜不驯

stubborn and unyielding

上天无法控制我想要的命运

heaven can’t control the destiny i want

我不放弃

i won’t give up

征服这个世界只要我还剩一口气

conquer this world, as long as there’s still breath in me

谁听到他们在说他们的痛

who hears them talking about their pain

尽管他们的梦没人会懂

even though no one will understand their dreams

在濒临灭绝的瞬间

in the split second on the brink of losing it all

正义再次涅槃重生

justice, we are pure again, reborn

我名为free soul

i’m (called) a free soul

困兽里争斗

fighting among the beasts

不会再依赖糖果的我放肆地怒吼

not relying on my candy-sweet self, roaring unbridled

ONER fighting with world

不管是木子洋还是岳明辉

no matter if it’s mu ziyang or yue minghui

谁都不可能认怂

no one will admit to fear

[录音 spoken]

其实更多的是恐惧

actually, more of it is fear

不知道你们能不能理解

i don’t know if you can understand

因为这些恐惧呢 

because this fear—

有的人会迷失方向

some people will lose their way

甚至放弃

they’ll give up—

星星发亮

stars shine

是为了让每一个人

so that every single person

都可以找到属于自己的星星

can find a star that belongs to them

大家好

hello everyone

我是来自坤音娱乐

i’m kunyin entertainment’s

编号BC221星球上的小王子

little prince of planet BC221

[spacequokka]

i finished!

okay so i’m tipsy but! i can do a basic edit and ppost then do a full one later that way those of you waitng still get the content with a few(?) errors gimme like 15 min