#I’ll maybe color these and post them on my art blog eventually

[phantom-peachie]

hhhh,,, skyward sword,,

screams incoherently

[thoradvice]

Hi! Is it okay if I can request a positivity post for people who struggle with ptsd? ;-; I keep having flashbacks and I am constantly dealing with multiple triggers 24/7 for the last few months now and I’m so scared that I’ll never get better. I only get a few hours of sleep every night because I’m so anxious and on “high alert” all the time, I’m jolting awake gasping and then I can’t fall back asleep. I’m shaking everyday because my brain is always like “look out for the danger!” And I’m unfortunately in a position where I am unable to avoid my multiple triggers (certain clothes, certain colors), and the person who gave me this ptsd is someone I accidentally see online at least once a week, even though I’ve blocked them, they are a very popular fandom blog and they frequently buy commissions of themself… like maybe 15 to 20 commissions per month from all different kinds of artists. So I’m always seeing my abuser’s commissions, visual images of them floating around everywhere I go :( I tried taking time off of tumblr for 8 months, but my ptsd didn’t improve, I just felt lonely and I really missed uploading my own artwork ;-; but now I’ve stopped drawing entirely because I don’t find joy in drawing anymore.

I am surrounded by these reminders of what happened to me, and my only hope is to someday reclaim the triggers and to see them as normal things again, but I don’t know if that’s possible when I feel so incredibly broken and I see my abuser so often. I’ve never had to deal with this kind of thing before. I wish someone would sit with me and tell me everything will be okay, even if it might not be true. I went through all of it completely alone for a full year, and now I feel so numb to anything around me. Going to movies, restaurants, concerts, all of it feels so empty to me. I’m sorry for the vent, you don’t have to reply to this if you don’t want to ;-;

hi there, sweetheart !! first off, i'm so sorry that you're struggling so hard right now, and that you can't seem to escape anything that's making life so much harder. i have never personally dealt with ptsd in that sense, but i do have an ample amount of trauma, and you have my every sympathy.

i'm going to split your ask up into a few parts, if that's okay. i completely understand the fear of never getting better. dealing with so much mental anguish for so long is a trauma in of itself, and i'm so sorry. please know that there is a "better" for everyone. everyone's looks different, and comparing yourself to others who recovered quicker, or more easily won't help - because your situations are always going to be different. but there /is/ a better for you, and anybody else reading this. it'll take time, and will happen slowly, but you'll get there. i also really struggle with sleep, because of intense anxiety / nightmares. there are a number of OTC medications that you can try, have you? i know it sounds silly, if you're struggling so much, but sometimes simple answers help the most. i'm not sure where you are, but if you're in europe, you can order melatonin from the us, and of course in the us it is OTC. there's also a number of medicated syrups (nytol / night nurse / etc). melatonin can occasionally create nightmares, so please be sure to start on a tiny dose. if you have already tried these, speaking to a doctor may really help. i completely understand not wanting to bring up your ptsd, but there are ways to build up to it - including merely mentioning sleep issues first, and building a rapport with the doctor over a few weeks / months. sleep is so key, and getting something that helps you get rest will be instrumental !!

i'm so sorry your abuser is so popular. that's such a uniquely awful pain that i cannot even begin to imagine. is it possible for you to blog them, and the people creating art of them? it'd probably take a while, and be a bit taxing at first, but eventually you may see that your dash has less and less of them. i understand losing joy in the things that you love. it'll take a while to find the joy again, but this is something i have also experienced, and things will make you happy again. i don't feel equipped to advise on managing triggers surrounding things you love. but it may be worth trying to sketch something small and unrelated to fandom. is there a pretty tree you can see from your window? a cool house down the street? a cat lounging around? perhaps taking art away from the online space and the person who hurt you may make it feel more "yours" again. i'm so sorry that you've been going at this alone. no one ever deserves that. i don't know you, but i'm sitting with you right now, telling you it's going to be okay. there is more to life than this pain you're feeling right now, and there always will be. you will find joy in the things you loved again. you will be able to exist without reminders from your abuser, or if they happen, you will be equipped to deal with that. you will build a network of people to lean on, and that love you, and will be there for you. you deserve more than the hand you were dealt, and i hope you get that someday. emotional numbness is perhaps one of the most taxing things to deal with, but please know that this grey won't last forever. colour will bloom into your life again. there is more than this, and you deserve more than this. i am here with you, and you'll get through this.

[destinylordoffreaks]

Here is batch 1 of my art of iris Hau’oli 

As mentioned in my re-blog of her doll, her original design comes from a unnecessarily edgy, alternate future just exactly the kind of things a 14 year old, who grew up on the 2003 ninja turtles and watch Transformers the movie on repeat has a kid would write you know 

So about the color choices I made with the original design they’re questionable right worst part is I remember making this design and thinking to myself, it’s a post apocalyptic future  clothing Options are going to be limited, and nothing is going to match and I took that concept to heart the second picture is also from that same unnecessarily, edgy future it’s actually part of a whole piece that I can only describe has being as some sort of movie poster, but I hated the rest of it so much that I cropped it out 

After that, we have the beach photo that was also pictured featured in Benjamins pictures because it’s a giant group photo. I think this is probably the first possibly the second design of her outside of the post apocalyptic feature. 

I’m gonna level with you I don’t know if the third or fourth picture came first one of them is her first design has a character in the normal timeline instead of the crazy  future. One big problem with both of them is that they were both were made using a drawing bases, and I had no idea how to appropriately draw characters to proportion, so Iris seems to tower over everyone else, despite the fact that Iris is the shortest member of the cast, thankfully I eventually figured that out

Next up, we have Chibi iris, I actually attempted to make chibi designs for all of my characters at that point, but I didn’t like the way most of them turned out. Iris I didn’t mind though, so here she is. 

Than we have a Disney princess like design, which had been inspired by a dress up game on a website called azaleas dolls if I remember correctly, it’s like heroin creator or something like I’ll have to see if I can find it. Unfortunately, this was back when l flash player was a thing, so it doesn’t work anymore unless you have a browser that can run flash might be on flashpoint though I haven’t looked, I run it through the browser that Azalea dolls recommended, which is called y8 browser or something that you downloaded your computer so I still played all the time. I actually have irises original design I made her on said doll creator, so if you guys want I can post that and maybe even an updated version but you guys will have to actually comment and tell me to do it

After that, we have a picture of featuring Iris‘s family her mom pua, her older brother kekoa, and her older sister Maylea  Iris is the baby  although he is it depicted in this picture I think because I hadn’t decided to stick him in the store yet I was also has a stepdad named Craig irises biological dad had been a Navy doctor, who retired from the Navy, and became a first responder who ultimately passed away when Iris was 11 and her mom remarried when she was 13 to Craig Craig is actually a really sweet guy. I was just dislikes him on the principle that he’s not her dad she does eventually come around though

And finally, we have a group photo of Iris and the rest of the Yuki’s friends. Remember that picture back in Benjamin stuff where him and his family are all dressed up nicely. Well this was supposed to be the other half of that picture, like it was supposed to be two parts but I hated it so much. I never colored it I just left it like this and moved on to something else  like I should apologize to Sorin, for whatever I did to his eyes, and to Pete, for not connecting his face to the rest of his body 

Now that I remembered that you can put blocks of text in between photos. I have to go back and edit all of my ones for Benjamin so that they flow better instead of just being a giant block of pictures followed by a giant block a text.

that’s all for now. 



[dourpeep]

IT WAS 2AM WHEN I SENT THAT SO I HELD BACK MY SIMPING FOR COLLEGE ALBEDO A LITTLE. tried not to send all my brainrot so I didn't just send a wall of text into your inbox LOL. Some others I thought of were:

- Mona giving astrology forecasts and compatibility readings in this au and Albedo may have asked her about the two of you

- Going to botanical gardens or museums with Albedo but for some reason it feels like a date even when it didn't intent to be. You tug on his sleeve now and then when you see something he might be interested in or even when it's something that excites you, and Albedo can't help but have a soft look in his eyes that he can share this moment with you! Somehow it results in the two of you holding hands - just so neither of you stray from each other of course - and eventually, intertwined fingers. You hear someone say that the two of you seem like a cute couple and you know Albedo heard it too, but neither of you say anything. You feel his hand squeeze yours a little tighter and respond in kind. The two of you are too embarrassed to look at each other but can't help the smiles on your faces.

- Lending Albedo some of your favourite books for pleasure reading and you've left tiny tabs on lines that you like. Perhaps this is before Albedo realizes his feelings so when he reads particularly romantic lines, he wonders if this is how he feels about you. Or did you mark these pages because you feel this way about someone? His stomach is in knots to the thought that you may be intrested in someone that isn't him and he settles for it just being prose.

WHAT YOU WROTE WAS SO CUTE AAA. THANK YOU FOR SIMPING FOR COLLEGE BEDO WITH ME!!

Tugging his hand and not letting go omg . . . you tend to just intertwine pinkies or play with his fingers absent-mindedly that Albedo becomes so accustomed to it so he starts to offer you his hands without a second thought.

WAIT. I gasped at Albedo being a cuddler. He's a little delirious when he first wakes up but you're so comfy that he hugs you a little tighter, asking if you've slept well. You try to reply while worrying about whether or not he can feel your heart thrumming in your chest.

What if Klee is staying with Albedo one night and the three of you fall asleep cuddled up together. Alice comes back early in the morning before any of you are awake and takes a picture. She sends it to Albedo later and he sets it as his phone's wallpaper.

Albedo staring at your lips winded me, thank you.

YES TO THE SWEATERS. I bet Albedo would have the softest and coziest sweaters too! Imagine it being a little cold out and you see Albedo across campus so you bound over to him and give him a hug. You nuzzle into him and mumble out a little 'hello' and say he's warm. You feel his laugh rumble through his chest while he greets you back, wrapping his arms around you

And I LOVE ALL YOUR HEADCANONS! I believe I found your blog around the time you posted Albedo's snort headcanon and it was too much for my heart!! I held tight to that headcanon and never let go lol. I also thought the science + college headcanons you had of him were really nice despite not being necessarily romantic!

Side note: I looked up that lobster fact and that's so cool!!

The Lobster Fact(tm) is my go-to ice breaker and it always fails. I'd imagine it's normally the same w/ Bedo OTL so sad...not many wish to know about potential lobster immortality.

I'm glad that you love the headcanons though!! I enjoy writing for Albedo so so much as you can tell ehe

That being said--if it makes you more comfy to send stuff in a few bursts of asks, I don't mind :DD I'll answer them as usual nodnod

OKIE DOKIE

-

"...Mona, yes?"

"Ah, I was expecting you to come around sooner or later, Kreideprinz."

Really, Albedo didn't mean to stumble upon the Astronomy major, but for some reason the thought of you has been on his mind and the campus' observatory just so happened to be on the way. With the meager hope that...maybe he'd find some sort of answer (in what, he wasn't really sure himself), there she was.

Luckily, she knew just what he was there for.

The moment that she twirls her hand with a wave, telling him that there isn't anything to worry about, the apprehension creeping within his chest at the thought of seeing you next-

disappeared.

It's not often that he turns to less orthodox methods, but he wouldn't lie. Knowing that--at least in Mona's opinion (which tended to be correct, anyway)--the two of you were undoubtly compatible? Something about how your constellations were intertwined...

In fact, Albedo turns a little theory around in his mind. Though based in old folktales, the idea that you gravitate towards those who are made of the very same stardust as yourself, suddenly made sense.

Or, perhaps he was just being hopeful.

-

Little does he know that you most definitely asked Mona about the same thing earlier that day.

-

AHHHHH BUT OF COURSE-

Any of those kinds of places--Botanical Gardens, Art Museums, Aquariums, Zoos, Museums in general--Any place where you're able to utterly lose yourself in your surroundings and look around in awe, really, are your go-to date outing destination!

Usually, it's just the two of you, maybe with Sucrose or Timaeus if it's for a particular class, as well as the occasional Klee in tow whenever Alice is busy with work.

But in this case, fingers interlocked, it's just the two of you on a impromptu trip to the art museum downtown after seeing a promotional banner about a new exhibit. Once inside, you rush along, Albedo trailing close behind with a light squeeze of your hand. The large area used for temporary exhibits isn't far from the entrance, so it's not long until you skid to a stop.

All along the walls are incredibly detailed oil paintings, the thin layered strokes glistening in the light. Albedo takes a moment to whisper to you about how oil paint works.

Due to the thinness of the paint and it's transparency, light passes through every carefully placed stroke, allowing for a unique sort of depth that isn't achievable with other painting media. You smile, the artificial light of the art exhibit making your features glow and Albedo can't help but wonder if you are like those paintings.

So complex, so carefully created in an image perfected with time. Your eyes search his and you say his name and Albedo clears his throat when he realizes he's been staring.

"Do you like this one?"

Ah, you must've assumed he took a liking to this particular painting.

His eyes shift back to it, taking in the sight of the balance of color, the composition, then back to you. He only stares a second longer before nodding.

Whether or not you realize the view he likes is you is something that he dwells on as you both make your way to the next painting.

-

If you had a penny for every time that someone comments on the way you compliment each other, you'd probably be able to pay off your tuition for next semester.

Okay, perhaps not, but the idea still stands.

You're only just at the end of the art exhibit when the security guard wishes the two of you a lovely date. Something about how young love is something to be treasured, something about how the two of you already seem so natural and comfortable in each other's presence.

Before you can mumble out an explanation, Albedo just squeezes your hand, gentle as always, and smiles.

It's a compliment, right? For someone to see how close you are, even if you really are just friends, is a good thing.

Ignoring the warmth that spreads over your cheeks, you smile and turn your head away shyly. Squeezing his hand back, the thought of what it'd be like if you were together crosses your mind.

-

Just as you lend books to him, he lends books to you. Surprisingly, this time it just so happens to be a poetry book--something that you expressed interest in a week ago but ended up not getting.

Within, he's left colorful notes with his neat, slanted writing.

Short discussions (presumably questions to himself) of what the poet must've been thinking, different possible scenarios, are peppered throughout the book. But one just so happens to catch your eye. Rather than a question, it's a statement. Simple, short, and...sweet.

'You carry the aura of the stars.'

The little yellow sticky note pasted beneath a love poem to the night sky stands out. Suppressing a flutter in your chest, you continue reading through the poem book with a few giggles at Albedo's musings until you find a note with most of the words crossed out.

It's entirely unlike him, the way that the dark ink scribbled over the words, making them illegible.

But at the bottom was a continued attempt--one you presume he was satisfied with by the way it lay pristine on the colorful paper.

'You look. I fail to speak.

Your mind, so brilliant as it is I wish to see behind To further appreciate the one I love.

I can only hope one day you shall let me in, So for now I wait patiently by your side.'

Who could he have written this for? You can't help but stare at the poetic attempt, knowing full well that Albedo seldom does something without meaning.

The book closes and you tuck it back on the shelf to ask about later.

-

AAAAA YESYESYESYES I LOVE THAT CUDDLE PILE W/ ALBEDO AND KLEE

Even though Albedo's a grade A student and certified genius (he's adamant in his denial, shaking his head and mumbling about how he just studies hard), he's not entirely a stickler for rules.

Well, that is, Aunt Alice's suggestion that Klee goes to bed by 9.

Instead, the three of you settle in the common room of Albedo's place in a bundle of pillows and blankets at the demands of a pillow fort.

The tv blinks on accompanied by the near silent click of the remote.

"What should we watch?"

Klee always ends up picking the movie. This time, she wants Alice in Wonderland, commenting on how the bunny is like her best friend Dodoco and the blonde girl on screen is named after mommy. Albedo doesn't bother correcting her, even though he knows quite well that dear, sweet Dodoco is a chinchilla.

Between sips of juice and a few mouthfuls of popcorn, the three of you fall asleep, Klee curled up besides you and Albedo's arm draped over you both.

Even when the sun is up in the sky, you sleep peacefully.

So, naturally, Aunt Alice has a spare key just in case something like this happens.

Immediately she's met with the sweetest view--her two kids (she's practically adopted Albedo as her own at this point) and--

Hiding a cheeky smile behind her hand, Alice can't help but sneak a little closer when she spies the way that you and Albedo somehow gravitated closer, his face buried in your hair and yours resting against his collar. Wedged between you with tousled hair, Klee snoozes peacefully.

She snaps a picture, followed by another, and another, and a fourth for good measures before meandering into the kitchen to prep something for breakfast.

Might as well let her three favorite people enjoy the comfort of sleep for a little longer...

You wake up the moment that Klee wiggles her way out of the blankets, nuzzling against the warmth radiating under your cheek.

Nice and cozy. Smells nice...wait.

Eyes fluttering open, you're met with a familiar birthmark and the nearly gone scent of Albedo's cologne.

You nearly pull away until the arm, now wrapped around your waist, pulls you closer accompanied by a satisfied sigh. Ah. You shut your eyes tight when you realize that Albedo's going to be asleep for at least another thirty minutes, resigning to your fate gladly.

Of course, Alice takes the opportunity to snap a few more pictures when you've finally fallen back asleep.

-

YES ALSO ALSO

Speaking of Albedo and sweaters and warm and also the just mentioned cologne. A little fun tidbit--not only are you familiar with the scent of his cologne because he wears it often, but it (in this au) is actually one that you picked out some time back. You probably were at the store together smelling some of the perfumes when you came across one that you were pleasantly surprised by.

Specifically, something that's lightly floral, a little warm but sweet with a hint of earthiness.

The pros? It fits Albedo perfectly! It also kinda sticks well and his place faintly smells of it.

The cons?? Well...you're embarrassed to say that hugging Albedo tends to drag on a little longer than anticipated because it's just such a comforting scent-

Not because you associate it with Albedo or anything-

Ehe

Man I really went to town again, didn't I?? Well, I'm glad that you enjoy my headcanons :DDD Albedo just seems like such a sweet person??? Like endearing in a way that just is...him. If that makes sense.

Brain go brrrrrr

I'll admit that my favorite headcanons for Bedo are mundane and domestic ones though! Like these! Just the little moments where there's nothing really going on except for him and you and ahhhh yesyesyes

Okay that's all-

[partnersatfazbear]

Japan Package

Yeah, another off topic post... I don’t really have anywhere else to put this, though! Maybe you guys can learn more about me. =:3

I’ve always been a collector, especially of things from Japan... COVID has basically killed that for me with EMS taking almost 2 years to return and the skyrocketing prices of goods and shipping. So, with that said, this will be my last big collection post for a very, very long time [in regards to Japanese merch, I am still collecting FNAF!]

Anyone whose read my blog knows I’ve been hyped for Legend of Mana HD Remaster... and I nabbed a few things last minute when it was announced:

A large rabbite plush! This kinda goes with my collection of yellow bunnies, so I splurged since it served more than one interest for me.

Elazul and Pearl from the Square Millennium Collection.I already had these at one point but lost Pearl along the way, so I replaced them.

Some Legend of Mana trading cards (they’re sealed) and Pokemon Gold playing card deck. This will Segway me into my Gold/HeartGold stuff...

Moo-moo milks! The top one holds cold/hot drinks and the bottom one is a metal thermos.

Lyra and co. I waited so long to complete my set for Johto... she was a pretty penny unfortunately.

A bunch of various Gold related items. I don’t know much about them. A keychain, a small toy, and a postcard book. I should probably mention I got these items before the Pokemon Scalping Craze of 2021 took effect...

Pokemon Stadium 2 CIB, Pokemon Gold CIB, some kind of physical Pokemon Heartgold thing (I believe it’s just the download card. I know it isn’t the normal game.) and finally, one of my grails-- a lightly used Johto Gameboy Color w/a cartidge of Gold.

Pokemon Johto themed Pokeballs! This was a premium Bandai exclusive. I got it for the GS ball, NGL. While taking photos, my wife noticed that all of them open... except the GS ball of course! I did get this used so it was missing the dispenser parts and candy, but I didn’t care. I have the stands and belt attatchments--so looking forward to having these when I eventually cosplay Gold/Hibiki/Ethan.

Another grail. I already had the Gold Pokedex and Pokegear. I decided to get the HeartGold Pokedex/Gear. I haven’t tried it out yet!

Since Pokemon relates to Digimon, I’ll post the tiny amount of items I got. I no longer actively collect in this community outside a few unique items that I may want, so this is the end of my Digimon collection for the most part.

Not much to say regarding these. I had an atrocious time getting the shot glass the first time around, so I finally buckled and got it via a proper proxy. Weregarurumon, although a plush I don’t particularly like, was one of the last I needed to complete the line of plushes for the Gabumon line.

I’ve been after the Tsukuda Hobby Misato Vinyl figure for years. I finally snagged her. I’ve always loved this line, but sold most of it a long time ago. I don’t really have a huge collection for Misato, but she was always my favorite and I like this piece to represent her in my collectibles.

Jack from Radiata Stories. This was to complete my Star Ocean Trading Arts set. I also got the remainder of the Valkyrie Profile Trading Arts I was missing, but I didn’t picture them because they were thoroughly wrapped and I don’t want to lose pieces when I move.

My MAIN collection is Star Ocean: the Second Story (and all of it’s iterations). If I ever make an exception to my no major packages importing rule, this would be why. An Amanesis keychain, a calendar and a small pocket book.

Okay, maybe I lied... my MAIN collection is Aerith Gainsborough... I love and adore her; always have!

Aerith photo cards! I guess they were from Skytree? I don’t remember... Also some cards for Star Ocean EX, Pokemon Gold / Silver, and Ayumi Hamasaki.

More Skytree items! These are edible. One is a bottle with hard sugar candy and the others are various suckers w/edible flowers!

It took all I had not to cry when opening the music box... lol

Lastly... I was going through some bad times last October and I really rediscovered my love for Ayumi Hamasaki circa 1999-2001. I really wanted to embrace it and went a little nuts =:p If you haven’t heard her work, I highly recommend it. In fact I think A*BEST is probably my second favorite music album of all time. It’s in my top 3 for sure!

A photobook. Some CDs! Remember how much I love A*BEST? I got the anniversary edition. Included a book, CD/DVD/BluRay combo, a shirt, and a special collectors box. AyuMiX and M~ were replacements because mine are worse for wear nowadays. LoveAPPEARS and the blue CD are new. The blue CD is actually a release BEFORE Ayumi Hamasaki’s first single--it’s pretty rare! I’m excited to hear it!

A keychain, flipflops, and a stationary type set w/a binder, clear file, stickers, ect.

An uncommon Ayu-pan! She is proportional.. as opposed to the chibi design they normally have. And a mousepad! Sold at one of her early concerts!

Vinyl records of her singles: M~ and Endless Sorrow.

A CD single style keychain and a card for Endless Sorrow rounds out the lot.

It’s been an adventure... and I’m really sad to see it end until things settle down again, IF they do...

I wanted to say I have almost all the non essentials packed for my move, so I may be able to post some actual FNAF content in a week or so! =:3 Thank you for checking out the fun with me!

[busymagpie]

Favourite works of 2020

Thank you @elesianne for tagging me! :)

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works! I absolutely have no sense of time, but after looking through my blog I think 2020 was the year I made most of the fanart on there? That’s gotta count for something, right? Especially ‘cause I graduated and made a graphic novel at the same time.

1 - Feanorian inventory series I’m kinda proud of myself for starting this and sticking with it. It also made me think about the characters more. Especially when I had seemingly all items down, but there were still gaps to fill, so I had to think some more and eventually came up with headcanons and new ideas for illustrations or comics (which I’ll be working on).

2 - This Maeglin piece I spent hours on that, drawing every tiny line traditionally on a too small light box. Also the fact that I streamed the lineart process and still managed to get somewhat straight lines even though I was nervous af is a win by itself.

3 - Sweet sweet Russingon Was a close call between that and the latest one. Honestly I can’t resist drawing them and whenever I draw them happy, I’m happy. Maybe I like this one so much because I drew a proper background for once?

4 - Uinen (or Maiar concept) I made this after discovering that new brush for myself and I really dig that soft look. I tried to be more “daring” in choosing the colors and the whole concept of what the Maiar have to look like.

5 - My first nsfw piece! I actually have a lot of nsfw sketches lying around, but I never dared to make more with them, so this was big thing for me. Anatomy is something I really really love and these kinds of illustrations are basically just that and I don’t have to come up with designs for garments. I also like the hashtag nastymagpie if I were to make more.

I’ll tag @tar-miki @mandhos @stormxpadme @kayemagistro , if you’d like to. I’m sorry if this post is a mess, because I never make text posts and apparently don’t know how tumblr works.

[purity-town]

Little late getting to these -- that's fully the fault of a class project I spent all of Monday/Tuesday and most of Wednesday working on -- but I finished my project and wrote up some long replies to these!

(Apologies for any funny formatting -- I'm trying out the beta for the new post editor!)

Absolutely not.

Nope! There are a few people who do know (other guides Andrew's met before, the Dryad, and I'd imagine the Witch Doctor knows something's up even if he doesn't know why), but none of them live in Purity Town proper, and the Dryad and Witch Doctor aren't the kind to participate in rumors or spread what isn't theirs to share. The old man is also aware just because he and Andrew have talked about their curses, but he's 1) not currently in town and 2) not going to share even if he were.

Most folks don't know much about Andrew in general; Becca probably knows the most out of the townsfolk, knowing a little bit about his family and where he's from (he has some pretty specific skills as a hunter that betray this, but he doesn't talk about his exact town of birth), but no specifics and certainly not time periods.

Andrew is good at keeping things quiet; he has to be.

I would actually appreciate if you didn't post to Pinterest -- usually I'm fine with people reposting with credit (several of the things I've posted to my DeviantArt have found their way to Instagram, for example) but Pinterest has something of a reputation for stolen art (things being reposted from another Pinterest post without credit this time, or credit being hard to view for users not logged in or just viewing through Google). So reposting elsewhere is fine (though if you repost to Reddit or Instagram, tag me at u/Ariibees or @Ariibees)! I'd just prefer my works stay off of Pinterest.

The terminology related to The Guide/Andrew/The Guardian/The World’s Core/The WoF is all confusing because on some level, they’re all the same being. Kind of like trying to talk about Jekyll and Hyde -- same guy, different looks/actions, haha.

For all intents and purposes, references to the WoF being the barrier/core/whatever behind or within which the spirits of light and dark are contained is equivalent to saying “these spirits are held trapped by the magic of the Guardian, who when summoned appears as the WoF.” I do break slightly from the official lore in how the WoF/Guardian/thing holding back these spirits works (mostly because I don’t really like the idea that the Hallow is a “temporary guardian” or whatever), but the basic concept of “these are trapped by [thing that makes up the WoF]” remains unchanged.

If “loony cultist” is a reference to something, I’m so sorry, but I’m lost on it. If you’re just talking about the lunatic cultist in a funny way, then yes, they’re in here as a very plot-significant character!

I had to google what meme you were talking about, but it did make me laugh.

Andrew’s most annoyed by the nickname because people do like to call him Guide, and for someone who’s dedicated his whole life to his role, it can get tiring. He doesn’t really *mind* being called Guide -- it’s fine, that’s what he is and as long as people are respectful of his job he’ll take what he can get -- but at the same time, he’d like for people to stop thinking “Aah! Monster!” or “Weird academic know-it-all” and just...treat him like a normal person sometimes. So he fights to be called Andrew. And...Malik comes along and gives him a nickname that he doesn’t like and doesn’t allow others to use, save for maybe a small group of people of which Malik is not a part. So, not cool, man!

People love to overcomplicate explaining shading/lighting, and if you wanted to you could certainly go on and on about reflections of light off the ground and shading colors and all sorts of things, but as I’m writing this at 1 AM I don’t really care to.

If you really want to get into shading, I see nice ones on DeviantArt or Tumblr from time to time, or you can always watch a YouTube video on it. Really, though, just keep at it, think about how the shadows should look and work, and you'll get better at it eventually and pick up new ideas on how it all works. (And this is coming from someone who is new to making comics and actually started as a painter.)

Purity Town’s shading comes down to this: simplicity. As much as I’d love to spend hours and hours redrawing the panels I don’t like and carefully shading every fold of fabric and painting detailed backgrounds, I’m a full-time college student and will be working full-time over the summer -- I don’t have the time. So, I cut corners: I reuse backgrounds or use brushes (see: bricks, trees, clouds) that make certain details easier, and I try not to obsess too much over panels I’m not fully happy with. Shadows go where they feel right, and light on the opposite side.

For shading, this comes down to making things quick and easy. For these last few pages, character shading/lighting has only been five layers. One hard light layer for the bluer soft shadows, one overlay layer for darker soft shadows, one linear burn layer for hard shadows, one soft light layer for soft lighting, and one overlay layer for hard lighting. I’ll often also make use of glow dodge layers for lighting, or change the color balance or add more hard/soft light layers if there’s a very heavy color filter on the scene (such as a celestial event, blood moon, or outdoors at night).

Using all the different layer types is essentially a cheat code to fancier lighting -- don’t want to use flat black? Boom, hard light or overlay or burn will give you colored shadows. Want to make your light brighter? Glow dodge will make it burn your retinas.

Sorry that this isn’t a very comprehensive guide, but in my mind, shading and lighting is really something that you pick up over time and it’s hard to sit down and write a guide for it without making it into a massive essay on art theory that I don't even know proper terminology for because I'm not an art student. Of course with some googling you’ll find *proper* guides for this sort of thing from art majors and the likes, and those can be super helpful and technical! But for Purity Town, I just sort of go with what feels right and what's easy to replicate.

Firstly, I’m happy to hear you’re liking the comic!

Secondly, those buttons are actually there due to the theme! (For those on mobile who can’t see it, I have the theme set to only display on desktop as I prefer the current mobile layout on phone.) I’m using the simple webcomic theme (a quick Google should tell you how to install it for yourself) -- except I’m not actually using it for the webcomic features; rather, it’s a case of “this is the most simple, nice-looking non-default theme I could find.”

The previous/next buttons are added by the theme with the intent that the blog is being used as a typical webcomic website, with nothing but comic pages being posted. However, I post asks and other art here too, and I do so with the intent that people looking at #Terraria or their dashboards in general will see it. So...I use html formatting to make the first/previous/next/last links, along with an index and chapter-by-chapter viewing (using /tagged/chapter##/chrono) so that no matter where you’re coming from, you can still navigate just the pages!

If you want to add just the previous/next buttons, I can’t really help you -- web development is not my area of study in the slightest. But you can check out the theme that they come from and if you want to install only them, you can surely find a tutorial on it somewhere!

(As a side note, the comments section is not from the theme, it’s from a site called Disqus. I don’t expect many people, if anyone, to leave comments, but since I link back to this site a lot and many folks don’t have Tumblr accounts, it’s an option I like to make available.)

Hiya! My hike was pretty nice; it was a short and easy one, but that was quite appreciated as the trail is unmaintained from November to April, and the trail was covered in fallen trees and quite rocky. Still had fun, though!

And for backgrounds, it depends! For indoors scenes (or outdoors scenes with buildings) I don’t tend to use references, outside of looking up things like “which side of a door is the handle on.” I will, however, integrate real-life textures (see: the quilt and rug in Guide’s house, the wood walls on the building in the background of this week’s page), and paint over paintings from the Terraria wiki.

For outdoors scenes, for simple backgrounds (such as foliage-heavy) ones, I typically don’t need references. I like the difference between detailed, lined indoor/man-made object scenes vs. painted, messy outdoor scenes. But for things like mountains, I do sometimes look up references to help with color choices and the likes.

The town’s layout is a bit strange in that depending on the scene, the background could be drastically different. One side of town faces more mountainside, one side faces the orchards/open hillside, and the other two sides face various degrees of open space and more mountainside/forest. References taken on top of mountains are helpful to get an idea of what degree of foliage I should include between the characters and the sky.

Though this is very specific to the town of Purity -- other towns/villages will have significantly different-looking backgrounds, even the foliage-heavy ones.

That said, what's even more helpful than looking at photos is looking at paintings. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron is really good for getting an idea of how to draw grasslands and distant mountains, plus Studio Ghibli movies in general!

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

♫ Surfing on a soundwave, Swinging through the stars, Take a left at your intestine, Take your second right past mars!

On the Magic School smelly space bus! ♫

SPOILERS for Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #2!

This is a comic where, the longer I sit with a particular issue, the more I’m like, ‘yeah. Yeah. YEAH.’

It’s dense in a way that invites the reader to go through it multiple times, and rewards additional readthroughs.

Also, it helps that the art is FREAKING AMAZING.

Seriously. Evely and Lopes should draw and color everything, forever, always.

(I will honestly be shocked if they don’t get an Eisner nom for this book.)

Anyways, all of this to say: Another issue that I enjoyed. It has one of the most genuinely sweet Supergirl moments I’ve seen in the comics in a good long while.

So, if you’re looking for a quick thumbs up/thumbs down rating, thumbs up!

If you’d like some SPECIFICS, though...

THE STORY

King is an evil genius because we don’t pick up where we left off--rather, we start in the midst of the Space Bus journey.

There is technically a Big Action Scene, but I was honestly surprised by how...casually? the story progressed.

Essentially: Kara and Ruthye are forced to travel by bus because 1.) Krem stole Kara’s rocket and 2.) this corner of the universe doesn’t have the right stars, so Kara’s still recovering from being under a red sun for an extended period of time.

The bus makes occasional stops; they encounter a space dragon; Kara takes some Red Kryptonite and saves the day; they eventually arrive on a planet with a yellow sun. 

And again, all of this occurs with a kind of...breezy ease that I was not expecting at all.

I assumed that the space dragon fight would make up the final moments of the issue, after having built up the problem to a point where Kara needed to intervene.

But, noooope. The space dragon happens somewhere in the middle, which helps sell the central idea that this is simply Kara’s life. She’s been there, done that. She’s a badass who takes it all in stride.

But! Important to note! Ruthye still marvels at the sight of Kara taking out the space dragon, as well she should, because:

OH MY GOD. THE aRT.

There’s only so many times I can say, ‘it’s phenomenal, it’s gorgeous, it’s stunning’ before sounding like a broken record.

But it is. It truly is. This is the prettiest monthly book on the stands right now.

(Realizing I’ve been spelling Ruthye wrong this entire time, maybe? IDK. Apologies if I have.)

It’s in the final moments of the book that we learn what transpired after Krem shot Kara and Krypto and fled: Kara managed to get Krypto and Ruthye to a healer, and then passed out for a week. 

Ruthye and Kara recovered, buuuuut...

Krypto is still very near death because the arrow was poisoned.

The healer can’t treat him until he has a sample of the poison.

Which Krem has.

(See where this is going?)

So! Kara regains her powers! Ruthye has a super on her side! KRYPTO’S LIFE HANGS IN THE BALANCE!

Gimme. Issue. 3. STAT.

THE CHARACTERS

Very much enjoyed Ruthye in this issue!

There’s a really tricky balancing act you gotta pull off when writing child characters; you don’t want to just write them as tiny adults, but you also don’t want to be obnoxious or cloying in trying to write ‘true-to-age.’

King gives himself a bit of a cheat, by setting her up as a rock farmer from a...what would you call it. An old-fashioned planet? And thus the kind of character who had to ‘grow up fast’ and behaves more maturely than your typical pre-teen might.

BUT! IMPORTANTLY! This is tempered by placing Ruthye in situations where her (understandable) ignorance is challenged/put to the test. Like, yes, she is mature, and well-spoken, and utterly tenacious, but she’s also out of her depth, and still in need of help and guidance.

(Which is how we get to The Best Scene which I’ll get to in just a sec.)

TL;DR - this issue has really sold me on Ruthye as our POV character and I am officially Invested in the relationship between her and Kara.

Speaking of...

It’s KARA-CTERIZATION TIME!

So, okay. There’s some ‘eh’ stuff in this one, but, BUT!

We got the goods again.

And by ‘goods’ I mean this:

Whatever other nitpicks I have (and I do! Have one! Which I’ll get to!) THIS. This right here! This is Supergirl. This is Kara.

And what a beautiful line to introduce this moment:

“And it began--as most things begin when you’re dealing with Supergirl--with a moment of kindness.”

It’s the same gentle concern we saw in the previous issue, where Kara knelt down to address Ruthye eye-to-eye. 

Here, Kara’s facial expression, and the way she takes Ruthye’s hands and shows her what to do...

It’s just. SO SWEET.

Ahhhhh it’s so good. :D

So good! In fact! That the above scene offsets my one complaint, which is that Kara came off as harsh, IMO, when addressing the bus passengers, looking for Red K. 

Other good stuff from this particular portion of the book: we get Kryptonese (maybe? I think?) And a mention of Kara’s mother being strict about certain things, which is in keeping with the 2000s series version of Alura.

Ruthye also asks if Kara ever tried to avenge the death of her family/culture and she says no; Ruthye says that she heard a lifetime of regret in Kara’s response, which I suppose could be read one of two ways:

1.) That she regrets her choice not to avenge them, or 2.) that she regrets not having the option to avenge them, as there was no one person to punch, no single action that could rectify the destruction of the entire planet.

I personally prefer the second reading.

Which I suppose contradicts the recent-ish “Killers of Krypton” arc, but who knows what is and isn’t canon anymore, honestly. XD

As for the rest of the issue! I found myself thinking of a Grant Morrison interview, actually.

Morrison apparently met a Superman cosplayer at a con and that’s when the character clicked for them: “[The superman cosplayer] was so in the character, but what really got me was the way he was sitting. It was this absolutely relaxed pose with one knee up and the arm bent over, and that’s what broke Superman for me. Suddenly I realized that Superman wouldn’t be a poser, he wouldn’t be a Muscle Beach steroid guy; he’d actually be completely relaxed because nothing could hurt him. He could be so open and friendly to everyone because no one can punch him or hurt him. He can’t get a cold, or be damaged by anything you’re carrying or wearing. For me that was the power of that, whether you want to frame it as magical or not, it actually informed the stories I wanted to write. I felt I understood him in a way I hadn’t until that moment.”

That’s always stuck with me, the idea that Clark would be the most at-ease, chill guy you'd ever talk to.

And THAT, I think, is what we’re seeing here with Kara. That at-ease-ness.

But in a way that is distinct from Clark! In the above quote, it’s clear that Morrison thinks it’s Clark’s powers that are the reason he can be so relaxed and at ease.

But Kara is de-powered here. So why is she so chill?

Because Kara is an alien.

Kara’s in her element, here. She’s used to space travel, she knows the ins-and-outs, she’s not shocked by any of the weird stuff they encounter on their journey. 

Love it. LOVE. IT.

I am SO GLAD that King decided to go with Kara being the wizened mentor, as opposed to the naïve kid learning to be tough. It’s a much more interesting angle, IMO.

Also NO MENTION OF RIVALRY BETWEEN KARA AND CLARK. WOO. LET’S KEEP THIS ROLLIN’.

Alright, last, but certainly not least:

THE GOOD BOY! KRYPTO!

When I tell you I stress-read this entire comic first thing in the morning...XD

And I am STILL stressed. And a little sad that Krypto doesn’t get to go on another space adventure but! This is MIGHTY PREFERABLE to what I *thought* was going to happen, which is that Krypto would die from his injuries, and Kara would likewise be out for revenge. 

Fortunately, that is not the case! 

So like, the stakes?!?! Suddenly sky high. Find that dirtbag Krem and GET THAT POISON BACK TO THE HEALER!!

ART and MISC. STUFF THAT I LOVE

I generally don’t like to post entire pages of a comic, or panels without context, but the...reach? of this blog is extremely limited so. I think we’ll be okay. XD

So, alright! Some moments that I particularly enjoyed!

One of the panels that Mat Lopes shared early on! 

I want this lettered version on a mug.

(Also she looks very ’Grace Kelly-ish’ here.)

Love Kara’s facial expression and her line about space travel being more fun when you can fly.

From the same portion of the book--such a neat detail that Kara keeps her cash in her sleeve!

Another set of panels that I think Tom King shared a few months back.

Love Kara’s little smirk, and the, “I’m wearing a big yellow S on my chest, and a very fashionable red skirt.”

It IS fashionable. WE SUPPORT THE SKIRT, IN THIS HOUSE.

Also the slrrrrrrp. XD

It’s good.

Okay, 1.) VERY COOL SCI-FI DESIGN and 2.) that line is great. “Can you feel it, Ruthye? We’re getting closer. The stars are changing.”

Mmmm, them good cosmic Kara vibes.

Kara’s attitude about the Red K here is fun, like, ‘WELP, sometimes you turn into a monster, sometimes you don’t!’ but again, the line is what gets me.

“Did my hair move?”

“I do not believe so.”

XD

Honestly? I could post the whole comic here. Evely’s vision of ‘public transit, but space’ is just so immediately...not ‘real’, necessarily, because there’s such a fantastical element to it all, but it is fully realized. I think I used the phrase ‘lived-in’ and that’s it--this world feels like it has always existed; every grimy nook and cranny, every rando space bus traveler.

And Mat Lopes’ colors!

There are like, five distinct color palettes at work in this issue, and Lopes handles them all masterfully.

I think my favorite is the...I’ll call it ‘ethereal space aquarium’ lighting in the bus as they view the space dragon.

The glow and the shadows and the blues and pinks...

GGGGGGGGAAAHHHHHHHHHH so goooooooood

So, yeah. :D

I am very much enjoying this weird, wild ride with small, precocious Ruthye and wizened, crusty Kara. XD There’s some stuff that I don’t *love* but my goodness, it could be a lot worse!

Let us end on the beautiful title page:

[dragonheart-swtor]

5 Works Meme

RULES: It’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought  into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want  (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

I was tagged by @sleepswithvillains; thank you!! I’ll tag: @elaphaemourra, @sith-shenanigans, @opalxempress, @sunsetofdoom, @swtorpadawan, and anyone else who wants to do this!

In no particular order:

Scars

This one I actually liked enough to make my avatar - it’ll probably eventually get replaced, but for now I still really like it. The lighting came out well, I got practice with back muscles and butts which are both things I’m bad at, I still really like her expression, and I got to learn a new technique for doing scars. 

Leave It Up To Me

And this one ended up as my blog header. I’m sensing a theme here. I’m super proud of this art; I’m terrible at backgrounds and I don’t usually bother with them, so doing a background-focused piece was a real challenge for me. And then I did it mostly lineless, for some reason, because I thought trying to do all the details in linework would kill me. I’m not sure if that choice made it easier or harder, but it sure did turn out well considering. And then the rim lighting/backlighting on Garen turned out super well too, and just... the whole feeling of the piece came through, I think. (And then it got zero notes, because I had no followers when I posted it and there was an external link so it didn’t show up in the tags. Sigh.) Fun fact about this one: usually there’s one overlay layer with a gradient on it to help pull my digital pieces together color-wise, but on this one there’s three - one for the background only, one over Garen only, and one over the whole thing.

Duserra in a suit

I spent too much damn time on this for it not to be on this list. The gold filigree detailing. The texturing on the tailcoat. The vest pattern. The colors I struggled with, and I went through I think five or six different test palettes before I found one I really liked, but I think I pulled it together well. My one regret is that I forgot to give her tie the same texturing as her tailcoat.

Of Blood And Ghosts

A one-shot that ended up almost twice as long as most of my others. Honestly, it might not be my best writing ever, but I’m proud of myself just for finishing it - usually I write/draw something in one or two sittings or I never finish it. This piece took me weeks of work because I kept getting stuck. I’m proud of myself for pushing through and finishing it. ...and then it got almost no attention on AO3, probably because of the awkward length and the sort-of-self-harm content. Sigh. Oh well. I really enjoyed getting to explore what Force rituals might look like (and feel like), as well as looking at the Force from two different characters’ perspectives and getting to throw my poor Zabrak sisters at each other again.

And my crowning pride and joy,

The Sith Lullaby

(Click the link if you haven’t heard it yet. Do it. /e)

I almost never write music because it’s time-intensive, labor-intensive, and a skill I haven’t spent that much time honing. Making up music isn’t difficult for me. Making it good, and putting it on paper, is difficult. Or tedious, at least, and my dumb ADHD brain doesn’t do well with tedious tasks. But something possessed me to write this, based on one off-handed comment I made about a scene idea for a fic I don’t even talk about here. I spent three days pretty much doing nothing besides writing English lyrics, translating them into Sith, writing the melody, making the Sith lyrics fit the melody, and then finally putting it all together on paper. And I have zero regrets. The result is my pride and joy of the last year of Star Wars content, my crowning achievement thus far in this fandom: a lullaby written by me and then played and sung by me in the Sith language, an absolute bastard of a conlang that’s just filled-out enough to be difficult without being complete enough to not force me to make up probably 90% of the words in that song.

And who knows? Maybe I’ll do it again someday...

[livewireprojects]

I feel bad for @naegamimonth​ right now because I’ve been doing nothing but a shit ton of Naegami Month posts on my art blog. At least this is the last post for day 16... jfc I made so much for this day...

This is just fashion AU, it was inspired by that non-despair AU were the DR2 cast are scene kids(along with maybe Junko & Mukuro), Izuru is punk goth & DR1 cast are pastel goths in the early 2000s. Like I said(because I don’t know how to say shit) this is inspired by it but instead of the 2 casts being scene kids & pastel goths they have their own styles.

Byakuya is a hipster that loves to take selfies with his boyfriend & later their babies when the twins eventually come in. Makoto is a pastel goth still but looks kind of different from the version from the scenekids/pastel goths AU. Because this isn’t in color I couldn’t show that he has a galaxy textured hoodie jacket on.(Then again I can’t make galaxy textures very well anyway) He also has a bunny on his choker because for some reason I keep giving him Usami imagery sometimes. His sneakers are pastel green with eye balls on them... I use this to much on character designs that are pastel goths.

Honestly wasn’t sure how to dress Byakuya & this probably wasn’t what I was thinking of when I did fashion AU RPs. I dunno how to make hipster designs so I was Googling shit & searching on DA. Why did I give him a hat?

Finally at the end! I am sorry!

This comes from my favorite game series Harvest Moon(the official games are now Story of Seasons since the creators left the people with the rights to call it Harvest Moon), Makoto is dressed in the default clothes for the girl in my favorite game of the HM series Animal Parade. It’s a really nice game & I’m also a little obsessed with the wizard in this game... The only thing missing is a port/remake for the Switch... But enough with my rambling that I had to delete because it’s off topic.(It’s just rambling about my love for HMAP & why the remake of Friends of Mineral Town while good scares me on if AP got a remake because I worry they’ll edit things they shouldn’t in that game too)

So anyway Makoto is doing farm work when Usami comes over with a letter from Makoto’s boyfriend. Usami is taking Finn’s(the Harvest Sprite meant to be your guide in the game) role in this which given she’s meant to be both a magic girl bunny & a teacher is adorably perfect.as she can give advice to Makoto & enjoy their adventures around Harmonica Town & so on.

Interestingly Gill reminds me some of Byakuya but he technically is more friendly than Byakuya. Both kind of had to grow up earl as kids but for Gill it’s because the death of his mom hit his family pretty bad while Byakuya’s is from whatever shit his terrible dad did to his family. Both are also blond with blue eyes, weirdly enough Gill when he’s dressed in his sweater vest instead of his white suit vest looks a little like how I use to dress Len.

Another random thing is that this is the only HM/SoS game I know of were once you get married(to the main candidates not the special ones sadly) you get a free ticket to the island you unlock at some point. Using the ticket while with your now spouse will lead to getting a Honey Moon cutscene.(I haven’t gotten to the marriage yet & the only LP I’ve seen of this game had the guy marry Witch so I dunno how the cutscene for the honeymoon looks.(I saw the cutscene once but due to my weird memory I remember very little)

What I’m failing to get at is Byakuya & Makoto enjoying their honeymoon on the island. Cuddling together as the sea comes up the sand & touches their feet as they sit near the water. Makoto likely has a seashell from the trip on a shelf.

I kind of made Usami a human/Harvest Sprite form for this. I gave her Chiaki’s haircut because often times Chiaki is shown with her.(Even shown holding her in the final(I think) episode of DR3 were Hinata is likely imagining her while on his way back to the island with everyone)

I’m not as interested in DR2 as I am in DR1 but Usami/Monomi is probably my favorite character. I also keep showing an edited(because her design’s details kill me, they’re to much to draw) version of her as a plushie my kind of OC Asumi has a security blanket.(I’ll explain Asumi one day)

[rrrawrf-writes]

lordy lordy loo it’s been a hot minute since i’ve made an original post, i forgot where the button was

so. some of you may have seen the stuff running around about violetvineyard and mvcreates, some of you may not have. i’m just gonna lay out my experiences here, now that other people are talking about it and now that the server has been deleted. i’m gonna try to present a fair and nuanced version; i’m not gonna include screenshots (right now) bc i’m lazy, mostly.

there are several other people who are putting up way better breakdowns than i am. i just figured i might as well toss mine onto the pile bc why not? but if you’re hoping to hear from me a story about how i’ve been wronged, per se, you won’t find much of one, because i played mainly a spectator role, and never had much trouble there. i will have a vague, lukewarm defense of some of the people involved that other people may not agree with, but again, this is all just the whole VV deal from my point of view.

@nuwuhorizons (i haven’t said how dang much i lOVE your url) and @sapiencenotes have very good receipts and breakdowns. if you want a more in-depth (and dramatic, forgive me for using the word, i’m not trying to downplay this), check them out. @time-to-write-and-suffer also has some great stuff on their blog about all of this.

all righty. so. i joined VV not right at the beginning, but soon after it was started. there was an application process, i got accepted, i was looking for a community to help me start writing more. (it didn’t help, but that’s not their fault, that’s mine.) the person who owned the server was called mina, and on tumblr, mina’s url was mvcreates. mina is a nonbinary Muslim woman of color, a professional who i believe works at harvad and deals a lot with things like infectious diseases, iirc. she was doing a whole lot of work when the pandemic came around, and so the past few months wasn’t quite as active as she had been at the start, both on the server and tumblr. 

the very first time mina came on my radar, before i joined vv, was because she had corrected someone’s typo on a post, and it stirred up a minor drama about “don’t give unsolicited criticism” and “is pointing out minor errors like that okay” and blahblahblah. i ran across that on a friend’s dash, and also ran across the promo for vv from that friend’s dash, as well, and joined bc y not.

everything was p cool for a while. it was nice to meet some new people and some of my mutuals on there. mina seemed like a fun person. she was about a year, year and a half, maybe, older than i am. the first things that kind of started rubbing me wrong at the start was how she would kind of dismiss suggestions for the server than i and a friend had, and how she kept bringing up her age - she would often say things like “well i wouldn’t do that but i’m an Old(TM) so maybe i just don’t get it” and i can’t really explain why that bothered me. i think it felt dismissive, like Younger Folks Don’t Know How Things Should Work. also, like. she kept bringing it up. as if it meant something, as if plenty of us on that server weren’t actually around her age. there was a convo on vaccinations where i wanted to make the point that a lot of anti-vaxxers should be educated instead of ridiculed and shamed, but i never really got to making that point bc she jumped in very sharply and explained that anti-vaxxers all come from a class of people who are generally educated. i didn’t bother saying anything else. 

at the start, it was tiny little things like that. i chalked it up to her personality and mine just not quite matching up. i sat down a lot and examined my own internal biases, bc i knew something was bugging me, but i couldn’t tell if it was legitimate, or if i was jealous and petty, or if i was being discriminatory towards her identity. i still wonder that a lot; i want to be careful that i’m examining her actions here, and not the person who made those actions.

because the other thing that bothered me was that she was perfect at pretty much everything. she was a decent, if not good, writer, from what i read. i thought her “art”/edits were neat, even if sometimes i looked at them going “that just looks like an edit, not your own art, but u kno, edits are art too, so i’m not gonna say anything.” she had a lot of motivation, a lot of ambition. soon, this kind of transferred over into me feeling like she acted like she had to be perfect at everything. i think this is probably one of the more “lisa is just being petty” things, rather than a judgement on her character, but she seemed to flaunt her own skills and accomplishments a lot. not that no one is allowed to brag sometimes! but it was just another layer of “this bothers me.”

then there was the hero worship.

people in the server loved mina. i liked her. i had no problems with her, even if there were a few things i was a little “ehhhh” about. vv got pretty big, pretty quickly, and i assume there was a decent amount of turnover and people who just joined to lurk or sometimes share things in the promos channel or elsewhere. but the most active folks just. they adored mina with every fiber of their being. mina could do no wrong. no one ever called her out on anything; everything she did was hailed as fantastic and wonderful. and honestly, for the most part, it wasn’t like she was doing crappy stuff. some of the praise was well-deserved, imo, but it just bordered on embarrassing for some of these people, how much they just worshipped the ground she walked on.

and she didn’t really like, discourage it. like, at the start, i think i remember her being more modest, but in general, she just let it go, and so did i, bc like. i aint that kinda jerk.

the stated purpose of violetvineyard was to have a community that valued reciprocity. reciprocity was mina’s biggest thing. there was a channel for people to post their stuff on, so the rest of us could browse and read and reblog. i, admittedly, didn’t do as much of that as i wish i did, but part of it was because i do have a life outside of the internet, a memory and attention span the size of a gnat, and because like. 90% of the stuff that people put in the promos channel were things like edits, writeblr intros, wip intros, etc etc, when all i wanted was to just read some actual writing. but that’s neither here nor there. what got hilarious to me, though, was whenever mina’s fervent admirers would talk about how mina was, quote, a pillar of the community. how vv was doing something No Other Writeblr Group Had Done Before. how Important and Special this server was.

folks. i’ve been on here for several years now. we don’t have a community. we have a bunch of little cliques who reblog from their friends and complain about people not reblogging them. noah fence, but come on. vv got pretty dang big, but it was still a small corner of a small section of tumblr. like. sorry, all y’all, but them’s the breaks.

also, this was hilarious to me bc there are several big writeblrs who have been running around long before mina and vv showed up. yet, according to these people in the server, mina had Single-handedly Brought Hope To This Desolate Wasteland.

in the end, vv became just another little clique whose members reblogged from their friends. i don’t want to devalue the good that did come out of vv. a lot of the picture being painted rn was that the majority of the server were scary dog-piling people. the majority of the server were just writeblrs looking to promo their stuff and talk about their writing. unfortunately, few bad apples, bad rep, negatives outshine positives, etc etc. but i think it did do some good re: exposure for a few folks, even tho it didn’t turn into what it could have been. 

another one of the things that was a minor irritant to me was that they eventually started archiving the vent channel, which was probably the most-used channel. that didn’t sit right to me, but as always, i was a coward had nothing to say about it, so i didn’t. the reason given was that there were often things in the vent channel that people might regret being there, so it was periodically archived and a fresh channel started.

so i’m rambling a lot about stuff that’s probably boring and inconsequential. that’s 90% of this whole vv thing, tho, you need to understand that. 

the biggest thing that bothered me about mina, i think, came about from the constant hero worship from her adoring fans. and i know there’s a whole argument to be said about expecting labor from people with marginalized identities, which is an argument i agree with - don’t expect someone of a minority group to educate you or to face trauma or to shut down bigots, etc etc. but by now, mina had a lot of followers in general, and in specific, she had quite a few people who would defend her at every single perceived slight.

she made a lot of those fun writeblr reblog games, like “send me a fruit that says this about my writing.” those were cool, i’ll admit that. but she was super into “you have to send an ask to the person you reblog from, RECIPROCITY!!!!!!!!!!!” and seemed to struggle with the fact that sometimes, people don’t follow her established rules on her posts for these games. she’d complain about it every single time that happened in the vent channel, which, again, that’s fine? that’s what vents are for, it’s annoying to not get cool fun asks when you do these games, but also, that’s life for you. she could depend on her fans to send her plenty of asks, whereas the much smaller blogs who reblogged these games would probably get f-all, half the time. if you’ve gone through nuwuhorizons or one of the other blogs i mentioned earlier, you’ll have run across the incident where mina’s friends harrassed an 11 year old for not doing her ask game right.

an eleven year old. 

and this is my biggest grief with mina. she only stopped her friends from dogpiling people... once? maybe twice? that i remember. and not only that, but there were SEVERAL occasions where she would get on the vent channel, complain about someone who had said something wrong on one of her posts (and sometimes, again, these were legitimate!), and then ask if someone in the server wanted to reply to them. reasons for such ranged from “i’m too busy rn” to “they would probably listen more to a white person than me.”

again. this, on occasion, is not necessarily a bad thing. we cannot expect labor and response from minorities. my issue was that she kept doing this. and sometimes it was fine, just someone who would drop a note on the post or send a polite anon. but this, to me, the whole asking someone else to fight your battles for you? that really bothered me. mina is a grown adult. either ignore it, like the rest of us chumps, or deal with it yourself. having friends support you is not a bad thing - if i was attacked on tumblr and my friends jumped in to defend me, i’m cool with that. but i wouldn’t ask them to, and then not do anything myself.

to me, this attitude just encourages dogpiling. this felt like she was taking advantage of the people admiring her so whole-heartedly, and using them to deal with minor grievances. (again, i don’t want to downplay some of the actual racism and xenophobia she experienced on this website, because there was some pretty sketchy stuff that did need someone else stepping in to object to. but then there was “ugh this person asked me what program i use to make my music and i don’t want to answer them bc that’s rude,” and stuff of that caliber. like, mina, you built yourself a pretty big following here on tumblr, you don’t get to complain when people are trying to ask you questions and engage with you when you set yourself up as a knowledgeable person on a subject.)

i’m going to mention @gingerly-writing because she already made a post on the subject, but there was an instance where we were in the vent channel and watched a lot of mina’s friends send anons and reblogs of a hurtful nature to one person. eventually, ginger stepped in to say “hey, i don’t think we need to keep doing this, they are a minor,” and after she did so, i also jumped in, saying something along the lines of, “yeah, i’ve seen this kind of stuff blow up in another server and end in a really regrettable situation where no one was happy, can we stop.” both ginger and i received a private message from the mods (individually) saying that we shouldn’t police the chat, etc etc. not during that message, but on the vent channel, another mod jumped in to say that the people dogpiling the blogger were also minors. as if that makes it okay, and isn’t actually extremely worrying in its own right.

after that, i pretty much took a stance of “all right then i just won’t say anything at all.” i stuck around vv because i hated myself actually really liked a few of the others in the server, including a couple of the mods who are actually really cool people, not all the vv mods are sketch, and because honestly? i lowkey knew that vv was going to crash and burn sometime, and i wanted to be there to watch what happened. due to the pandemic, and her line of work, mina became less active, and the whole server died down a bit. 

then someone reblogged one of mina’s ‘art’ posts and accused her of tracing. mina’s admirers immediately jumped into action. nuwuhorizons has it pretty well documented on their blog. there was nothing in the server about it, except one of the others said “oh man i saw that and it pissed me off,” there was some minor chat, and then i woke up and wanted to know what had happened, and was told “don’t worry about it.”

so, naturally, bc the only thing i thirst for is water and Drama(TM), i went looking for it.

found it on some of mina’s friend’s blogs, where i found who had reblogged and said mina was tracing, and followed those reblog chains, where several of mina’s followers attacked the accuser and made fun of their name and age and defended mina, pulling out progress videos and stuff of mina’s work. the accuser was trans and still a teenager, even if technically an adult, so that made things a lot worse. mina eventually posted something explaining that she was pencil tracing and had a very cheery, false-positive tone to the whole thing.

things sorta ended at that, but then maybe the same day, or the day after, user hyba made that big ol post about the Big Scary Tumblr Mirror Website Copying All Your Good, Hard Work. mina and her friends jumped on this. they threw it in the server and talked about things like intellectual property rights and “i don’t like how this makes me feel :(” and from there, went in to how tumblr was a terrible garbage site and then mina and most of the mod team decided that it was time to pack up VV and leave tumblr completely. 

pretty much everyone i know were mina’s besties have vanished off tumblr. mina made an announcement that VV was “migrating” off tumblr and discord(???) and dropped another application to join the great vv migration. i did not apply bc i just have too freaking much going on in my life and needed to get out of this for the sake of my own mental health. it was tempting as hell, tho, i will say that. 

a couple things about this - at the time, mina is also having some pretty bad things going on in her family. she was very vague on the details, but i think that really contributed to wanting to leave; on top of the pandemic and everything else, she was probably heckin stressed. but also like. she never called out her followers for attacking her accuser. she never made any sort of post talking about it. she never told her friends on the server “hey don’t do that.” she never took accountability for it, or, honestly, for anything else she or her friends have done that didn’t feel too good. the mirror sites aren’t really a big deal. 

after the server was archived, it was left up a couple days so everyone could grab contact info, etc. during this time, i was checking the ‘violetvineyard’ tag and saw someone post “what happened to mvcreates they haven’t answered my application to vv,’ and i responded with “oh, the server closed down bc of the copy cat sites.”

the same day, i got a tumblr DM from one of the former mods asking me not to give away any details about vv leaving tumblr. it was very politely worded and everything, but it was still just like

okay? vv is over? why are you asking me not to say anything. and it wasn’t like i was even spilling any hot goss, i was just repeating the excuse (and i do mean excuse) mina gave us. 

anyway, that mod is off tumblr, too, as far as i know, or else they stealthin. which is fine, u do u, buddy.

uhh conclusion time, i guess? i have a few scattered screenshots of things, but i’m not posting em bc i’m lazy and also running late for a thing. but really, for me, i didn’t have a whole lot of beef with mina or pretty much any of the other folks on vv. i thought that mina and her friends were a bit too eager for blood, and that really bothered me. i’m annoyed they shut down vv completely, because it could actually have been something great. if mina wanted off writeblr, i wish she had given the whole network over to people interested in running it; instead, what was a good thing for a lot of people is now completely gone, with no existing framework for people to build on. sure, anyone can go make their own network/family for writeblr, but now it’s just going to splinter into a bunch of different, smaller groups, and we’re all back to square one.

but whatever. i didn’t get to see the server go down in flames, instead it just ended with a hasty retreat and a few whimpers, and quite honestly i wished my staying in had paid off.

i do want to reiterate - there were quite a few people in vv who i think are great, and this does include some of the mods themselves.

i’ve also gotten a couple messages from a few other folks who had been in vv who have their own real, real sketch stories, which are making me rethink how i feel about mina and her friends, and all the good credit i gave them. i just wanted to present this bc it’s my blog and i do what i want, fight me.

and if anyone wants to chat about vv, hit me up. i keep things as private as you want them to be, and i love love love talking about this nonsense. Give Me The Deets.

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Juliet

Writing Blog URL(s): @wonderlustlucas

Nationality: American

Languages: English, beginner level French, teeny tiny bit of Korean

Star Sign: Virgo

MBTI: ISFJ-T

Favorite color: Pastel yellow

Favorite food: My mom’s Sunday gravy

Favorite movie: Howl’s Moving Castle (The Lion King is a close second though)

Favorite ice cream flavor: Specifically Turkey Hill’s Double Dunker (get it— it’s so good)

Favorite animal: Humpback whale

Go-to karaoke song: She’s Kinda Hot by 5 Seconds of Summer

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Neurosurgeon! Or a Twitch streamer HAHA

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?  Ahhh probably coffee, I love tea but I need my coffee </3

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Shapeshifting! Clearly the superior superpower I don’t take constructive criticism.

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? This is weirdly specific, but I would love to be in Scotland during the 1700’s. Alternatively, the 1980’s.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? 100%. I know everything happens for a reason but getting a redo and being able to fix all the big mistakes I made would be pretty nice.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? One horse-sized chicken! 100 tiny horses would be crazy tiring.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? I would probably be the gay side character that gives good emotional advice but is hella lonely LMAO

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Yes, both!

What are some small things that make your day better? Driving with the windows down and music blasting, picking up coffee, playing video games, & talking to my internet friends on Discord.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? I discovered my love for writing through Warrior Cats roleplay😭

What fandom(s) do you write for? Right now, only Kpop, but I wouldn’t mind writing for 5SOS or some of my other fandoms!

When did you post your first piece? On WattPad, December 2015. On Tumblr, April 2018 :)

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I write everything! Fluff/smut/crack is my favorite and slight angst (usually just slow burn though cus I’m soft).

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? Again, I write anything and everything! Currently, second or third person reader inserts are my main style, but I also do ships and would love to write more OCs.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? Before Tumblr, I was on WattPad for different fandoms but eventually fell off. Then, when I got into Kpop in 2017, I found that urge to write again and decided to move to Tumblr since WattPad was becoming… weird. Plus Tumblr was a better fit for me!

What inspires you to write? To be completely honest, it’s the little things throughout the day that inspire me. For example, “Honey” was inspired by me not being able to open my locker in high school. “I Hemoglobin You” was based off my friend giving me a head rub while I was donating blood. Kpop idols just so happen to be my muses that I like to put into random moments of inspiration!

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? High school or college AUs are my favorite, along with some good ol’ friends to lovers slow burn. Angst isn’t my forte so I usually just stick to fluff, smut, and some crack. I haven’t written any but fantasy AUs are some of my favorites too! (RIP to my League of Legends AU that I started and haven’t touched in months.)

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? Just like other fanfiction authors inspire me, I hope some of my work inspires others. Considering fanfiction is free, there is so much out there to read and when I find a good story that inspires ME to write better, I’d love for my writing to do the same.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? 3 options: 1) Skip that scene and jump ahead to one I’m excited to write; 2) Erase what part I’m on and completely redo it; or 3) Drop it. The majority of my works usually take a few months to write as I will completely stop working on it until I find the right inspiration again. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? “Four” is definitely my favorite work. It’s one of my longer pieces and there was a lot of raw emotion in there on my end. I love the relationship between Hyunjin and the reader and especially love the ending. “Greatest Gift” for Chanyeol is my most successful, and one of my other favorites!

Who is your favorite person to write about? Easily Hwang Hyunjin. It’s so easy to place him in any of my works, and sometimes it’s a struggle to NOT write him. It sounds stupid but sometimes I really feel like I “know” him so being able to describe him physically and mentally is easy for me.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? Yes and no. Yes, because most of the time, fanfiction is totally original as well and requires just as much thought as a 400,000 word novel. No, because fanfiction uses a specific person as a muse.

What do you think makes a good story? Detail and realistic dialogue! Of course, everyone has their own style of writing, but detail is especially important to me. Sure, you can have a great plot, but having concise, detailed writing to get immersed into makes a story so much better. I also find realistic dialogue to be a big deal— I hate when teenage characters are speaking in deep analogies because, if we’re being honest, my daily language is 95% just “Bruh.” If you’re like me, I’d actually prefer realistic dialogue over anything else.

What is your writing process like? Process… yikes. Sometimes… I have a random thought and then I’m like… hell yeah let’s write that. I actually have no process. I don’t outline, I just start writing and keep writing until I’m finished. Then I’ll read it all over to make edits, then I’ll use the Read Aloud feature to catch any mistakes I missed, then I’ll run it through Grammarly before posting!

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? Hm, maybe? In the future, possibly, but as of right now I wouldn’t use any of my fics to do so.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? Oh, gosh, tropes. Gotta love them. Friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, stuck together (AKA forced to share a bed), and fake relationships are my favorites. They may be corny, but I also love truth or dare or 7 minutes in heaven games in fics cus… they’re just classics. Also love fics with a popular x shy pairing. I can’t say I dislike many tropes, but I definitely have a love/hate relationship with vampire and werewolf tropes because of how romanticized they are.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? Hm, to be completely honest, only a little bit? I mainly write for myself, it’s like a guilty pleasure to just get all my thoughts and desires out, and then I just so happen to make it public on Tumblr. Nevertheless, receiving comments and asks actually make my day, and sometimes I still struggle to wrap my mind around people enjoying my writing! So, thank you to everyone who has ever left me a kind message, I truly appreciate it ♥

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? Getting involved! I think one of the best ways to grow is to join networks, which not only gives you the opportunity to share your work on a greater scale, but also allows you to make connections. Like real life, making connections and making friendships with other writers can play a huge role in growing as a writer and growing your account.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? Yes :( As someone who’s involved with other fandoms, I’ve heard the way some people think of fanfiction and it’s really sad. People do not know how much goes into writing and just see it as cringey and disgusting when it’s just… not.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? Yes! In all its forms, art is something a creator can use to influence their audience (in a good way, hopefully).

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? Like I said in #40, I mainly write for myself. Even when I’m writing a request, chances are if I like the request enough I’m going to create a story out of it that fits my personal desires the most.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?  No! However, I’d still consider myself a small account and do not have TOO many works posted. But so far, I don’t think I’ve faced this problem :)

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? Only a few! My best friend Maggie is on Tumblr with me and only 2 of my other pals know I write fanfiction.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? How much I love each and every one of them for supporting me and sticking around even when I won’t post for months🥺❤️

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? Don’t psych yourself out! In the time I’ve spent on Tumblr, I’ve never received any substantial hate. My main advice is don’t write fanfiction to get popular on the app, write fanfiction because you love to write and love your muses!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? No, as much as Tumblr can be annoying at times, I love the people I’ve met and the content I’ve found and wouldn’t have wanted to use any other platform.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? @pinktea99 — Mo, you’ve been around since the beginning honestly, and without you I wouldn’t have been able to come out of my shell! Thank you for all your love & support & for being my SF9 buddy❤️

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

“Like mate, stop procrastinating.” — 3RACHA

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL 

[cynicaldesire]

On the Cycle of Rejection

I’ve been pretty positive re: my mood lately, able to bounce back or ignore negative things that happen to me.

TL;DR: I posted fanfic in a discord and got no response but I’m not mad.

I was in a discord yesterday actively talking and engaging with people. But it was like noon where I am in Japan and midnight or so where they were. While talking, one of them mentioned a bunch of video games. I pointed out one of the games as it seemed unlike all the others due to body horror and gore and difficulty. But they explained it was a spin off from another series. (One I have a WIP of that I might as well just rework into something original.)

I went through several joking comments in my head before I settled on explaining why I pointed it out and then felt inclined to share my fanfic.

At which point everybody went to bed while I was digging through my blog.

So I was actively talking to a couple people, turned around to rummage through my storage box, and came back with mussed hair and my paper mache project only to find an empty room.

I left it there, hoping that someone might find it later when they started to get up and return to the server. I left it there, smiling proudly at this little mess of a thing that I wrote several years ago in response to a piece of art my husband made. The colors are beautiful and the detail work fills me with happiness. I left it sitting there and returned to my day, my tasks, my life.

I checked every so often, because the server is muted because there are lots of people in it and I hate notifications. Nothing was said in the discord or on my tumblr notifs. I just smiled and thought “Maybe they haven’t seen it yet”.

Eventually my husband called on his way home from work and I told him about how I posted that short little fanfic and no one said anything probably because they all went to bed. He did that thing where he blazed through a bunch of thoughts and then asked me this:

What happens when you finish your book and nobody reads it? Nobody in that discord, none of our friends in our discord? ...Like, my mom duys it but doesn’t read it.

And something about the way he said it, something about the way that this has been happening to me for... ever hit me. Like, I’ve written fanfic and I get notifications from it from strangers reading it on AO3 or FF.net or whatever, but I haven’t made anything lately and my original stuff is so nebulous and trapped in my head and I’m so protective of it that I don’t share enough of it and like... Nobody cares.

But lately my husband, the one whomst started the idea for Zodiac, has been reading it and he drew my character for DnD and all this other stuff, I’ve been trying to eat better, I’m not super bothered by it. I have tempered my expectations of nobody reading it, of paying for it without reading it because a sale is still supportive, but it still hurts. Like, my expectations are low, but there’s always that flicker of hope that people will give a shit and will put in the effort. Because it matters to me. And I matter to them. And I’ve worked so hard for recognition these last few years by shifting my focus from fanfic to original works.

So I made joking cry noises and my husband reassured me like 4 times that he was kidding and he’s sorry if he hurt my feelings and he doesn’t want me to internalize those comments and get discouraged from finishing anything. I assured him I was okay, for now, and there’s a very real possibility my mood will drop some day and I’ll be discouraged. But for now, I’m okay. Because he’s reading it and he’s the only one that really matters.

I then told the discord with our friends about it in one of the channels I made for me to talk about writing with a couple other people on the server who have muted our server but never check it. The next morning the friend that I’ve gotten into fights with about his writing and my critique of it showed up to say he has 20 rejections for HIS finished novel so he knows my pain.

I was offended because I’ve read his books. He has a huge swath of friends whomst have read his books. He’s written clickbait articles on a website owned by a friend. I read his game system and and campaign settings all the fucking time.

I didn’t mean it maliciously, just to say that our experiences are not the same. There’s a difference between a literary agent reading your query and being disinterested and rejecting you and my personal experience of holding out my papers to all the people in my life and them either saying “I hate reading” or taking it from my hand and putting it directly into the trash. They never read it.

But I also know he’s fragile and I have a reputation and he can’t read my mind and know that I don’t have any malicious intent, so I followed that up with, To be fair, my sample size is small.

I also checked the other discord and still no responses or notes on my post, just some wee bab talking about their OCs and such.

[teachercrushprince]

December tc challenge UwU

I copied this from @nightowl-luna UwU

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

It’s dirty blonde, nothing special XD

2) is your tc married?

He isn’t married but has a boyfriend.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

Even if he wasn’t in a relationship I wouldn’t do anything because I wouldn’t want to put him in a position where he’d be uncomfortable and could lose his job, I care to much about him.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

Probably anytime I have gotten angry and yelled at him and stormed out of class he never seemed to think of me any different though because I always came back to class and apologised, I usually was really upset when stuff like that happened.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

I actually have quite alot of great memories with him but probably without saying too much about myself or him it was when I was working on one of my main pieces to pass my class.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

Only a really close friend at the time knew, but It’s kind of obvious that I liked him now that I think hopefully him and no one else could tell or knew I liked him.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

Nope and I kind of hope he won’t ever find out, the only way he’d find out is if he somehow found this blog.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

No he probably thinks of me as another student, and he probably would never feel the same since I’m way younger then him.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I can’t since I no longer see him (I’m in college now)

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

I probably have attempted to in the past but I’m really bad at flirting.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

Well it started around 2017-2018 I think, I initially denied it and just brushed it off as a silly little crush that would eventually fade, unsurprisingly It didn’t fade at all so I made this blog in hopes it would help me vent out my feeling from him and they’d fade in time but the feeling I have for him haven’t faded at all for me, honestly I don’t know what began it all maybe it was because he is and this is awkward to say but he is my type, also he kind of remined me of this actor I really like (same mannerisms and stuff), he was really sweet towards me too.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

Seeing as its been a year since I last had his class I don’t think I ever will get to spend time with him again as a student, I have seen him outside of a school setting earlier this year and we caught up and talked for about 10-15ish minutes or so but that was by coincidence that we were in the same shop.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

I got pretty good grades in his class, mainly since I listened the most during his classes and payed attention and due to the fact he taught my favourite subject.

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

I honestly don’t know what to write here since I just adored alot of the tiny thing he did.

15) are you their favorite student?

In all honesty I think I defiantly was one of his favourites, I usually made sure to make an effort of talk to him outside of classes and stuff.

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

We both liked musicals, I got him into my favourite genre of shows/movies (not naming it since I don’t want to share much info about myself on here), we both liked similar tv shows and movies, we even gave each other tv and movie recommendations.

17) is your teacher religious?

Nope.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Why is this a question this is too personal for anyone too share.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

No unfortunately.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

I don’t really but I listen to songs that make me think about him and I recently found out that the song Line without a hook by Ricky Montgomery makes me think about him alot.

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

Nothing really stands out to me since most of my favourite things he’s said to me and favourite memories are small and feel to special and personal for me to share on here.

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I do have his email but I’ve felt too awkward to ever send him one, maybe I’ll follow him on instagram at some point when I get the courage too.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

I go to college now and don’t see him anymore so I just tend to deal with it and live my life and try to remind myself that it’s just a crush and nothing more.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Well yeah he’s openly LGBT

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

He was my art teacher and tutor at one point, we had him for most of the week except one day out of the whole week for art, but when he was tutor I saw him every day

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

It’s multiple times in one lesson before it doesn’t help that I get distracted easily.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

I did find his instagram and didn’t find out much except he posts quite alot on there.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

It happened once this year and I got kind of anxious since I wasn’t expecting to see him while I was out with my friend, especially since I had been talking about him to my friend earlier that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

Nope.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

I regret telling one of my friends because she is now able to tease me about the time we ran into him and how I reacted.

This took way longer then I expected but I’ve managed to complete it XD

Happy hoildays everyone

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Back to my Safari bookmarks! If you’re wondering why I’d make hundreds and hundreds of bookmarks from tumblr, it’s because I had anxiety and didn’t have a blog yet. Took me a while and eventually I just impulsively made it one night.

- awww ancient Stucky fanart

- several etsy articles that are no longer available

- “Oops! Website deactivated”

- many, many, many links to nothing, but also an array of super random tumblr posts, and when I say random I mean random

- this was when CATWS was fresh and people were like :O

- a list of recipes to replicate fast food from some American chains at home... ew why would I want to eat any of these things ew ew

- past me, please explain, why would you bookmark all this stuff. why so many bookmarks of possible iphone cases to buy. you did buy some eventually. why keep these b--

- horizontally cutting an apple and putting peanut butter inside it DOES NOT make it a sandwich, American person who wrote this article about sandwich ideas. Wait, “Apple and Gruyere Waffle Sandwich”? That’s even worse.

- you again?? No, using a tomato instead of hamburger buns DOES NOT make a hamburger. How am I supposed to bite into the sk... nevermind.

- awww a bunch of etsy links about products for babies! This is from when my nephew was born ^-^

- a 2004 essay about Dumbledore

- that manga about Jesus and Buddha in modern Japan

- pictures of blooming tea... I have purchased some from a Chinese reseller through Amazon a very long time ago, but the package is “in transit but late” :(

- Roberto Ferri’s paintings (those beautiful ones you saw years ago all over tumblr)

- pictures from the 1930s/40s in color

- super cute pet videos

- nothing says “Etsy” like kintsugi kits where you’re sent a broken object to repair (I didn’t want one, but the link showed me those)

- sure, pick a theme for your blog where microscopic text is written in beige over white background, I’m sure that’s a good idea

- do you think John Winchester apologists who get really intense when someone brings up literal canon still exist on this site or. Actually no I don’t want to know.

- I miss the Carver era meta guys

- an essay that reads the Iron Man trilogy through the lens of “cyborg feminism” but somehow the Iron Man trilogy seems to be a fever dream. That’s what happens when you make other 9472 terrible movies with Tony Stark in it when he’s always written terribly.

- Oh boi remember fanmail. I miss fanmail. They should being back fanmail.

- random stuff, broken links, random stuff, I’m deading, even Safari is suffering I had to close it and open it again asdfghjkl

- Writing Exercises (I’m not checking if it’s actually useful rn tho)

- this smol 2014 article about the Captain America fandom will make you cry now because we had such a good thing and they chose to punish us for it

- https://musicroamer.com and http://www.liveplasma.com

- oh man an essay on why it would be so important for many people if Johnlock became canon. I feel so sorry for the TJLC people, they deserved better

- damn!! Look at this Etsy store!! Look at this stuff!! I want!!

- that time Sergei Polunin danced to Take Me To Church

- the Supernatural soundtrack, episode by episode

- a twitter account that got suspended?? (But also ewwwww twitter shows me what’s trending in my country and ewwwww)

- Centuries Before Memes, There Were The LOLCats Of Japanese Woodprints

- there’s a broken link to a page inside the site “thetoast” and their broken link page says “Oh, bother.” and a picture of a burnt toast

- http://lexicity.com (The first and only comprehensive index for ancient language resources on the internet.)

- NASA Goddard Youtube channel

- omg this is so funny. An article about “awesome recycling ideas”. The objects to recycle? Include? A grand piano; a sea mine; an old boat; another grand piano; A BOEING 747 JUMBO JET ENGINE; another boat; sliced cars; multiple more pianos... thank you I really needed an idea on what to do with that stuff in my garage

- one of my first tumblr posts............. you really want to see it? do you? okay. But you need to be familiar with that famous Nietzsche passage about the announcement of the death of God. Yeah, I know. I can’t fathom how I got thousands of people to follow me.

- an amigurumi project I actually tried, with an acquaintance’s help and all, but I just couldn’t

- a folder of random stuff lebeled “bau” (“woof” in Italian, you know, what the dog says)

- more resources for my thesis I never used

- the map of the central building of my university (I always get lost in it)

- once upon a time, the most used word on the internet was “codependency”

- thanks, past me, for grouping all these links from tumblr blogs that changed their url all together so I can just delete everything with a single click.

- a folder “sherlock meta”. Blogs that deleted. (*touches the ground*...)

- discussions on the dismissal of the queer reading of Sherlock :’) I’m sorry guys

- it’s a good thing I didn’t have a blog back then. If I’d reblogged all the posts I’ve saved it would have been a mess.

- TEEN WOLF META asdfghjkl I routinely forget that Teen Wolf is a show I actually watched. Sure, I abandoned it at some point. Like everyone else did, I think.

- guys, we’re at posts from the first few days of 2014. We’re about to enter 2013. I don’t know what we’ll find.

- Destiel posts. These are all Destiel posts.

- a link to the Naruto manga on a manga reader site.

The Safari bookmarks end here, I think because for Christmas 2013, if I remember correctly, I got a new laptop. But there’s a folder with some bookmarks I imported from the old one... 

- some resources on disability representation, random tumblr posts, and the family free of the Julio-Claudian dynasty

- super random tumblr blogs?? including the demo.tumblr.com??? idek

- oh boi. A super mega amount of tumblr blogs. How am I supposed to open these?? If I open all the tabs I’ll make my laptop crash... I’m not opening them. Most are unfamiliar, probably fandom blogs that changed their url twice a month, but I can spot a few I still follow :) Congrats, I “followed” you long before I had a blog myself.

Well, this was anticlimatic. Apparently, past me already got rid of all the wild stuff. There’s not even a SINGLE Glee thing? Not one? From 2014? Wait, what was airing in 2014? Season 5? Yeah, maybe that’s a reason. Still.

NEVERMIND I FOUND THEM, they’re no longer saved in a browser, I had changed laptops or sth and I had copied my bookmarks in a email I sent to myself so I could find the links again (which obviously says I made a selection, who knows how many bookmarks were lost. I don’t want to know lmao). I obviously have no reason, time or will to open them, but I can tell you I had divided them in categories:

- uni courses; Japan/Japanese; manga; philosophy and academical stuff; recipes; mixed [oh boi there’s some weird stuff here]; very useful sites; quotes & lyrics [what for?]; videos; Glee stuff; Glee art from DeviantArt; Glee tumblr blogs; Klaine-specific tumblr blogs; Supernatural stuff; Destiel-specific; my most used sites; Deviant Art - fanart [not specified, so I’m betting this is manga fanart - correction from some urls I can tell this is yaoi fanart, yep]; Deviant Art - non-fanart; watercolor images; Deviant Art - food; Deviant Art - pictures of Japan; something very embarrassing I’m not admitting it [no it’s not porn, that would be less embarrassing]; assorted tumblr posts; Supernatural meta; other tumblr posts.

So yeah that was my 2013, how was yours?

[nihilnovisubsole]

My fashion queen, incredibly important question: How would one go about figuring out fashion *style* for characters? I've noticed your OCs always have a Look(TM), and I've gathered from your blog (and fics) that you've got an eye for aestethics - please, could you give me advice at least where to *start*. I'm completely unaware of fashion and, frankly, completely overwhelmed at the prospect of just starting..

Ah! Previous Anon again - forgot to add a more specific question about fashion (I’m squeezing in 2 quesiton in one xD). Do you have fashion advice for sleek/distant female character’s clothing that doesn’t hinge on formal dresses? (as is discernable, I have literally NO idea what a Grown Ass, Self Respecting Woman would wear)

wow. that’s high praise. when i got this yesterday morning, i knew i wanted to give it the answer it deserved. this is over 1500 words long, so apologies to anyone on mobile, but i wasn’t letting go until i’d really sunk my teeth into it.

unfortunately, since you’re anon, i don’t know enough about your character to suggest anything specific. instead, i want to take a step back and see if we can solve the root of the problem - “where do i start?”

when i was a teenager, an english teacher told me this: “the biggest constraint in writing is no constraint at all.” when you have the whole spectrum of something - in this case, clothes - to pick from, it is overwhelming. the natural human instinct is to freeze up. so while it may sound strange, if you’re just starting out, you might feel better if you have some constraints to work within.

with that in mind, you can treat finding a ‘signature look’ for your character like solving a murder mystery. you eliminate all the suspects that don’t fit until you know enough to narrow it down to the one that does. that’s going to involve something else you’ll recognize from murder mysteries: you’re going to have to interrogate the character. open them up and get to know them - their background, their likes and dislikes, their quirks, the role they play in the world around them. every answer will give you clues and weed other things out, and eventually, you’ll get a box small enough that you feel comfortable working in it.

now, i love fashion, and i love using clothes to send messages about a character’s personality. so as someone who’s had that interest for my whole life, i work from the other end. the constraints happen, in large part, without me thinking about them. i tend to zoom right to a certain aesthetic or item of clothing, say, “okay, what outfit can i build with this,” and go from there. but since you’ve said you’re “unaware” of fashion and it’s intimidating to you, i’ll try to ease you in through a different route and see whether that helps.

so, if we’re going to pick your character apart, let’s think about some practical questions first:

what setting does your character live in?

if you’ve narrowed your setting down to a historical decade, you’ll find most of the style questions already - firmly! - answered for you. for example, a victorian woman would, by default, wear skirts. if the character is contemporary, you’ve got a lot more wiggle room. if you want to mess with historical fashion rules for symbolic or story purposes, awesome, but i think that’s probably more advanced than you’re looking for right now.

if the setting is fantasy or sci-fi, what’s its dominant aesthetic? is it cyberpunk? sleek ~apple~ sci-fi? or is it more like star wars? is it medieval fantasy? woodsy faerie fantasy? JRPG-style fantasy? you get the idea.

what does your character do?

speaks for itself. what’s their job?

what is your character like, just in general?

this is where everything you know about their personality goes. if they’re a fussy courtier who’s worried about their reputation and appearance, they’re probably not going to be comfortable in plain, casual clothes.

what can your character afford to wear?

again, speaks for itself. do they buy designer brands? are they trying their best with what they have? or are they super strapped for cash and just have to get the job done?

does their social scene have an easily-identifiable aesthetic that you could work with?

does your character wear urban/street fashion or preppy rich-kid clothes? are they part of a subculture that dresses in a certain way, like teddy boys? do they have the desire or freedom to go all-in with that style, or do they have to play it down, like being corporate goth?

do they need to wear something they could travel, do hard work, or fight in?

goes with the job question above. do they need some kind of outerwear or accessory where they can hide weapons? do they always need to be ready, or is it situational?

basically, where does the character’s aesthetic need to sit on a chart of form vs. function?

what do other characters who are similar to your character wear?

look at your favorite movies, games, and TV shows and see what professional designers are doing with characters like yours. what colors and cuts are they using? what other elements do they choose? do you like them? if you don’t like them, what would you change? sometimes you can learn more from what you hate than what you love.

hopefully, you’ve already culled a huge swath of fashion ideas that you Know You’re Not Going To Do. you may still not know what you do want to do, either! that’s fine. let’s move onto some more artsy questions:

are there any colors your character would prefer or avoid?

it sounds silly. it’s not. a limited color palette will go a long way toward making a character’s outfits look unified and purposeful. obviously, in real life, most people don’t restrict themselves as much as fictional characters do. but if you were a costume designer, you’d want to have some guideposts to work with.

are there any motifs you associate with your character?

animals, elements, religious or cultural symbols, plants - you can sneak all these into their clothes’ details. maybe their dress has beading in the shape of a peacock, or rose earrings, or icy sparkles, or a bear pelt for a cloak.

have fun with meanings! moon motifs for mysteriousness, poisonous flowers, etc. let your inner lit major out.

do you want your character to have a certain silhouette?

this may seem odd if you’re just going to be writing your character and not drawing them, but think about it anyway. do you want to emphasize that your character is tall? is everything they wear skintight? do they have a large, unique hat?

a great example of this is maleficent. not only does she have a horn-shaped headdress, her huge, flowing robe tells us there’s a much bigger power in her than her body would suggest.

is there a certain ethos you want their clothes to project? what, in their world, would do that? what in our world would do that?

let’s say you want your character to look very powerful, to the point where people would find their looks alone intimidating. should they wear sharp, simple, severe clothes, maybe in dark colors? or should they wear very embellished clothes, like royalty? what are your setting’s ideas about beauty? modesty? does your character play by the rules, or do you want them to stand out?

what colors, shapes, and styles appeal to you personally?

for all the time i’ve spent talking about restrictions and guidelines, it’s important not to lose the fun of it, either. use your favorite color! give them clothes you’d want to wear in real life! character style is a playground where you can let wish fulfillment run wild.

at any time, feel free to turn to google or wikipedia if you’re not sure how to answer one of these questions. if you see an interesting idea, pick it up and follow it - what you’re doing here is training your eye, and that’s how you’ll learn. that said, if you’re already intimidated, i wouldn’t dive too deep into couture/aesthetic blogs until i had a more solid grip on how i wanted the character to look. it comes back to what i said earlier - there is such a thing as too much to choose from, especially when you’re not sure what you should be looking for yet.

there’s one other thing i want to mention that can help bring a character’s wardrobe together: repetition. if you’re planning several outfits for a character instead of just one, echo some of the motifs, shapes, or colors from one to the next. they don’t all have to be identical takes on the same thing, but if they have certain traits in common, they’ll feel less like separate outfits and more like a matched set. they could all be in members of the same color family or have similar patterns on them. maybe your character has a certain accessory that they wear with everything. you get the idea.

while i may not be able to plan your character’s wardrobe outright, i hope this makes the whole process seem more straightforward. or that it gives you some ideas to work with, or any other kind of help you might take away from it. this post is getting unfathomably long, so i’ll wrap it up, but i’d be happy to put any of my own characters through a “question test” like this one if you’d like to see how it works in practice.

finally, if you can find an interview with an artist or costume designer who worked on something you like, those things are worth their weight in gold. i read an interview with colleen atwood when i was in middle school, and it revolutionized the way i thought about fashion and storytelling. and when i say “revolutionized,” i mean “i owe basically everything i just told you to that article.” dig into them and see how they think and talk about their art! they’re more qualified to teach you than i ever will be.