#I’ll forever make art for myself and like four people on discord and that’s it

[wethepixies]

Welcome to part two of our interview series, pixies! Today, we’re presenting our interview with four of the flaptastic people who make this rewrite possible. They had a lot to say, so this post is rather long - keep reading to see the full interviews!

Our first two Game Creator interviews feature two of our beloved artists - Rachel and Ci.

How did you first find out about the WTP project, and what inspired you to start working as an artist?

Rachel: In a computer graphics class I took last semester, one of our projects reminded me and my friend of Pixie Hollow, so we were reminiscing about the game and I really wanted to see if there was a rewritten version of it. When I found WTP and saw they were accepting artist applications, I was super excited because I loved the game and was starting to get into animation at the time as well. I also just adore the process of game development in general, so I was thrilled to become a part of WTP.

Ci was introduced to the project by a friend who’s also a staff member!

What is your favorite part of your job as a WTP artist?

Rachel: My favorite part is being able to contribute my work to a bigger project. Seeing the art I worked on in the game is really exciting to me. Just knowing that the work you put in is helping to further the game is really cool. As for my favorite thing to work on, it’s really strange, but I enjoy creating the UI buttons and signs for different meadows or shops.They’re super small and no one really pays attention to them, but they’re also extremely necessary so I guess I just like to make them, haha. They don’t always take too long to make but I think they’re cute. Also, I’m especially excited for all the new meadows, as I really enjoy helping to restore the beautiful art for the meadows.

Check out this gorgeous sign that Rachel restored for one of our meadow teleporters!

Ci: My favorite piece of art that I’ve created for WTP was probably a background I restored for a general winter theme/season back when I first joined. It’s not being used right now, but it’s pretty and you’ll just have to take my word for it :’)

How long does it take for you to work on art for WTP, and how do you fit that in your schedule?

Rachel: The time it takes really depends on how much of the project we have completed already. Oftentimes we’ll be working collaboratively and finish what other people have started. So if we are working on something from scratch it can take quite a while, but sometimes it’s just a matter of adding finishing touches and compiling pieces together to create a finished product. And each task takes a different amount of time. For instance, resizing something small will take a few minutes, but creating an atlas for fairy clothing can take hours, especially when you need to restore an item from scratch. Either way, I think it’s still beneficial for us to take our time to create the best product we can. Personally, I don’t always get to work everyday, but when I do, I’ll spend hours because I like to finish tasks in one sitting if I can, although I can’t always haha.  I think that working in moderation is always a good idea as long as you’re getting your work done, and knowing we have so many fans really pushes me to get tasks done and do them well. As for fitting it into my schedule, because of quarantine, I definitely have a lot more time to work on WTP, but during the school semester I would have to plan out what I needed to get done and when I needed to do it in order make sure I could get all of my school projects and WTP work done on certain days in order to avoid as much stress as possible. 

Ci: I don’t have time to work on artwork daily, but I do try to stay on top of what other people are working on, so a small chunk of my day is dedicated to discord. Sometimes I’ll be busy for weeks and do a whole bunch of tasks afterwards in one go, and sometimes I try to take on smaller things (pre-corona I’d sometimes spend time between lectures because that’s often the only time I have!). Some tasks are 5 minute jobs, like UI, but others, like adding clothing, take a few hours. Backgrounds probably take me the longest. A couple hours for a few days, if I have time to work on them daily. They’re really fun when starting!! but after day 3 it’s quite the grind. I like to sleep on those, since there’s so much detail in the PH backgrounds that I’ll inevitably miss something.

Rachel, you mentioned atlases and spritesheets - can you explain what they are and how you use them?

Rachel: An atlas and spritesheet contains all of the different variations of a clothing item or anything you can change on the fairy. So for instance, the hair atlas has all of the different types of hair you can choose when creating your fairy packed into one single file. So in order to make one you have to create all the hair pieces, position them correctly on a fairy reference, export each hair image, and then combine them all onto the atlas file. Then a json file is also created to describe where each image is in the file in order to use it in the game. The spritesheet is similar and is basically a horizontal version of the atlas with all of the images that we use in CAF to scroll through whatever you’re changing.

Do you start the graphics by hand or via some digital web design program?

Rachel: I almost always use digital programs. Sometimes I’ll plan something out quickly on paper but most of the time I’ll use Photoshop. We also use DragonBones for animation.

Ci: All of the research we do is online, so it saves a couple of steps and retains image quality to just keep everything digital. I also don’t have a scanner :’)

And finally, what’s the most challenging piece of art that you’ve made for WTP?

Rachel: The most challenging piece that I’ve done for WTP was probably the hair atlas for when a player creates a fairy because it was the first project I was taking on. All the hair was made already, I just had to resize, reposition, and fix any pieces that were lower quality, and although it was daunting at first, once I started, I was able to get the hang of it (even if it took a few tries), and now I’m super happy I learned how to do it.

Ci: We were missing a whole area of the CAF background (the part that shows up when you’re picking a name) that got passed around for one or two months, and eventually I got to work on it. It was the closest to a custom piece of art that I’ve made for WTP; the middle was a giant blur when I got to it. My motivation to complete it was honestly just being able to get it off the to-do list forever, when I was done I posted a before and after to the staff chat (which I try not to do bc it’s not really productive) because I was so excited about it :’))

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We had so much fun learning more about our artists’ jobs! Next up, we decided to sit down with WTP game developer and administrator Teresa!

How did you first find out about the WTP project, and what inspired you to start working as a developer? 

Teresa: A friend I made in the Pixie Hollow community said that her favorite mini game was Bubble Bounce, so I decided to make it for her. I had started prototyping and showing it around, and someone from WTP saw my work and invited me to join the team.

As we know, WTP is a voluntary project. How do you fit working on WTP into your schedule?

Teresa: I’m actually quite good at time management, and I’ve decided to make WTP a priority. That means that I can’t always say ‘yes’ to other things I want to do, but that’s ok.

What are some of the main things you look for when adding staff members?

Teresa: You need to be able to take criticism well and communicate effectively. A certain level of quality needs to be maintained to build a good game, and criticism sheds light on any blind spots you may have. If you aren’t communicating clearly and frequently, then your value to the team is very low – everyone needs to be on the same page so that work doesn’t get redone and wasted, and to keep an accurate development schedule. Being willing to devote more than a couple of hours a week is also a major plus.

How do you decide which parts of the game you should work on first?

Teresa: There’s this concept called the Minimum Viable Product. Basically, you just strip the project down to what is necessary and work out the kinks. Then you can add new features that enhance the gameplay.

What’s the most challenging issue you’ve faced while creating the game?

Teresa: There was a problem with the animation plugin that I was hoping would be fixed by the maintainers before the demo release. It was a really big deal, the game would be entirely unplayable. At the last minute, I had to dig into the plugins source code and figure it out myself. In the end, it wasn’t actually so difficult – but boy was it stressful. Really I would say that the biggest problems have stemmed from not having enough artists on the team! There have been multiple times where we had to delay updates because we didn’t have all of the assets ready for me to use in the game.

How do you go about fixing a game bug?

Teresa: Gather all the info I can from users experiencing the bug, and try to reproduce it. Just observing the behavior is often enough to figure out the problem. When it’s not, check the logs or step through with the debugger.

Have you ever worked on or made a game before WTP?

Teresa: I’ve worked a bit on some 3D open source game projects, never worked on the multiplayer parts before, though. I also make mods for games.

Lastly, what are your favorite and most rewarding parts of being a game developer?

Teresa: Pushing the boundaries of my knowledge and comfort zone, definitely. As a developer, I’ve learned a lot of new technologies and some new domains specifically for WTP. I also find being able to fix things that I don’t like about games very rewarding. Being an administrator has benefitted me as well. As an admin, I’ve had to cultivate skills in team leadership and project management.

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Finally, we interviewed Lavender Merryheart, our sound designer.

First off, how did you first find out about the WTP project?

Lavender: I found WTP from a Youtube video, and played the demo. I was excited to be able to re-visit PH and when I saw the audio designer application, I wanted to help out however I could!

Are you remaking the music from scratch based on any remaining audio from sources like youtube?

Lavender: Both! We salvage what we can, and re-create what’s needed if. In the future, there will be some new, original music too! When we need a sound effect or music, we first check to see if there’s a good quality clip preserved of the original. It needs to be clear and without extra background sounds. If we can’t find any, then I will dissect the sound or song and try to figure out how it was made, then recreate it.

You mentioned that you make new sounds if needed, how do you go about making them?

Lavender: New sound effects are made by piecing different recordings together, such as the audio you hear when you click the talent orbs, which was re-made from the sounds of a heavy book shutting and wind chimes. If we need to remake a song, I make a new track by re-recording each instrument’s part on a midi keyboard. Then it will be edited it in Logic Pro X, using instruments and synths from the Kontakt audio library.

What’s the part of being an audio designer that you’re most excited about?

Lavender: I’m most excited about getting to write new music for the game! I can’t reveal to you what it’s going to be used for yet, but in the process for the last WTP track I wrote, I thought about how to represent the area it will be used for and what instruments and mood would suit it the best. It was a lot of fun to try to both express my style and also give it that Pixie-Hollow-sound!

Finally, how do you fit working on WTP into your schedule?

Lavender: I keep a to-do list and project notes to help organize what needs to be done, and work on WTP between class assignments. To refrain from burning out, I try to spread out my different tasks and work on a variety of things.

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After we learned about what goes on behind the scenes on WTP, we wanted to learn a little bit about some future plans and hopes the staff have for the game. 

Art wise, what sorts of things will be designed from scratch in the future?

Rachel: Although we still have a long way to go before creating our own work as we have to replicate what was in the original game first, I believe that new clothing and hair might be designed from scratch in the future.

Ci: Right now, we’re still committed to restoring the game in its original form–this means that we try not to design anything from scratch. We’ve discussed the possibility of custom content in the future (items + clothing, pets, meadows, maybe even minigames?), and when the time comes, all of that will be built from scratch. That said, pertaining to the look and feel of the original pixie hollow will be a priority for those updates too.

What game feature from Pixie Hollow are you most excited to have?

Teresa: Personally, I am excited for the skill system and wilderness! We have some new ideas to try out, but I don’t want to spoil anything.

Do you plan to have seasonal differences and events, as well as competitions and activities?

Teresa: Yep! Can’t wait! We are already featuring player’s outfits in the shop catalogue, so that’s sort of a mini fashion spotlight, but there’s definitely more exciting things to come. Fashion spotlight was one of the most beloved competitions/events in the original Pixie Hollow!

In the future, will the game be available for mobile and/or consoles?

Teresa: You can already play WTP on mobile! At some point we will have options that allow the game to run smoother on mobile devices. Console versions won’t be a thing, though.

Is there anything that was in the original Pixie Hollow that you’d like to change in WTP?

Lavender: I would change the whisper noise it made when you got a message, it got a bit annoying. And it would be really neat if you could choose from a few different songs to have played in your fairy’s home depending on your mood! I had the ice themed house and have heard the music a few too many times!

Teresa: There are things I want to tweak, and fully plan to! We have already added a couple of small new things, such as the second sitting pose and featuring real player’s outfits in the shop catalogue. I hope everyone enjoys them!

The last thing we wanted to talk about is the staff’s personal feelings about WTP and about their jobs, as well as ask them about their inspiration.

Is there anything new that working on WTP has teached you?

Rachel: As an artist here I am definitely learning new technical skills and developing as an artist in general. Some examples of art skills I’ve been able to develop include creating atlases and spritesheets for fairy clothing and hair, getting familiar with DragonBones as I’d never used it for animation, and just gaining more experience in Photoshop. And I basically just learned all these things by trying them out and asking questions if I needed help.

Lavender: Through WTP I’ve learned more about creating sound effects, because when remaking the old sounds for WTP, I really have to think about what each one is made out of (for example, the pouch sound was re-created using a paper bag rustling, leaves crunching, and a bell synth).

How do you feel about the community growing so much in a short amount of time?

Teresa: I really didn’t expect it, and it has been a bit stressful, but I hope we are handling it well. I would never have imagined that a TikTok would be the reason either! Having more eyes on us makes me feel restless. We had to adapt the discord server to keep it safe and make information more accessible to new members.

What do you remember about Pixie Hollow? And did it change your life in any way?

Lavender: I joined right at the beginning, and loved how it really felt like you were stepping into a different, magical world. My favorite thing to do was decorating and creating/collecting items for my house, as well as the minigames and item crafting/ baking, I’m most excited to see these features again! Also, a good memory from the game I have is going to the summer pool party in the ballroom, and playing games in the tearoom with friends! The music in Pixie Hollow was one of my earliest inspirations for pursuing a career in film/game scoring. Currently I am studying for a degree in film/game scoring! I’m obsessed with fantasy games, nature, fairy tales, magic, and mythology, and I write music to try and illustrate the stories and have the listener feel like they’re visiting the scene. You can hear some of my original music on Spotify under the name June Westfield!

Rachel: I was so young that I have trouble remembering everything. I do remember sometimes getting on the phone with my friends and talking as we played together and explored meadows, which was really fun. I also really enjoyed completing tasks and playing the minigames. I have no idea why that was so fun to me, but I just liked getting achievements and beating my scores.  

Do you feel like some people may have unrealistic expectations for WTP? And do you think it can ever be as big as Pixie Hollow was?

Teresa: Yes, but I can’t blame them. So far I am the only developer to have actually worked on this game, so it’s a lot of pressure, but of course the players can’t know that. For some reason the things that everyone thinks will be the easiest to code are always the more difficult ones, funnily enough. For example, a flying mechanic like the original game is sort of complex, whereas adding new meadows is extremely simple. Do I think WTP will ever be as big as PH? Definitely not. Pixie Hollow had millions of players, Disney advertised it, and it had a full development team behind it. A lot of the original players will have moved on. I’m actually surprised that so many people have found us already!

Are there any artists that you look up to or are inspired by?

Rachel: I don’t have anyone specific in mind who I look up to, but I do watch a lot of cartoons and really admire animation and all of the work that goes into it. I get really inspired seeing different animated works and am super impressed by the entire process of it.

Ci: I used to actively make art outside of WTP and definitely had a whole list of people whose styles I looked up to, but now that I’ve moved away from that I mostly remember individual pieces. I had to dig some up for this question! loish, gawki, and Hethe Srodawa, are a few.

Lavender: Some composers that inspire me are Enya, Faun, Loreena McKennitt, and Secret Garden. They are all fantasy/new age genre artists that create enchanting music!

The WTP community is a great place to make friends! Is there a person in the staff that you’ve formed a strong friendship with?

Rachel: I’ve definitely become a lot closer with many of the staff members, whether it be looking up to certain people like our team leads, chatting with the other artists in DMs and helping each other out, or just having fun conversations with all the other staff members and sharing funny stories and pictures.

Teresa: Asteria is probably the best friend I’ve made at WTP, as we have talked the most. I have also met Kass in real life – she’s the sweetest! I love everyone on our team.

(Kass is one of our moderators - we’ll hear from her in the final interview post!)

And finally, What does working on a game that’s so loved by people mean to you?

Teresa:  It is so heartwarming to be a part of something that brings people joy and makes them nostalgic. Pixie Hollow’s fan base can make me a bit anxious at times. Sometimes a group of players will want one thing, and then another group wants the exact opposite and it can be hard to make a choice. There’s a lot of pressure in trying to stay true to the original game’s vision while also being fresh, but it drives me to deliver the best work I can. I put a lot of time into WTP, and have actually burnt out a few times already. Luckily, I love building things so much that it never lasts long.

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Next up in our interview series - our social media team and server moderators! Stay tuned to hear their answers to some of your questions.

[chaoskirin]

Freddie and I share something in common - we both went to school for fine art. I earned my bachelor's degree in 2005. At times, I wonder if he ever got tired of the formal education, too. I wonder if he also laughed when his film teacher told him that "after this class, you'll never watch a movie the same way again" and then realized later with horror that it was actually true. How color theory takes over your life even when you don't mean it to. How everything you see makes you wonder if you could draw that, and what technique you would have to employ.

I don't know. I was ten when he died and I'll never get to ask. Somehow he doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would want to talk about his own art, anyway. I mean, there's not much we know about Freddie's private life, but everyone says he was shy.

So when I sat down and thought about what to do for Freddie's birthday, I thought analyzing one of his greatest works of art would be a good place to start. I had to pick apart and appraise so much art in school, whether it be my own classmates' paintings or pieces in a museum, or even poetry. And what are all Freddie Mercury's songs but poetry? In any case, it felt like a good tribute to him to analyze "It's a Hard Life."

British "Promo videos" were the prototype for today's visual extravaganzas, and were really meant to provide a simple visual aid to the music. Michael Nesmith says in his book, Infinite Tuesday, that they weren't meant to have much thought or money poured into them. The name of the game was getting a band on stage and recording them, which would then, theoretically, promote more sales. But they evolved, as things tend to do.

Music videos seem absolutely mundane today. A hit single has a music video, and people watch it, and it kind of gets swept under the proverbial carpet and filed away in our collective mind. Sometimes, the really good ones stand out, but more often than not, it's just some thing that's expected. It almost feels ludicrous to think that music accompanied by video wasn't the industry norm.

But in the 1980s, music videos were just becoming valid as a means of expression, and many artists had no idea how to exploit them as an art form. Even Queen did a song supporting the idea that video was killing radio. There were a few who believed that music videos were the way of the future (See again: Michael Nesmith who started down a path that would one day lead to MTV) but to others, they were just a fad, or even something to be resisted.

But in reality, music and video accompanied each other in various forms for years. The first motion pictures themselves were set to music - usually live - because watching a film in silence would have been utterly boring! (Note - artist opinion. I can't cite that, but I stand by my assumption.) Then in the 1960s, the Monkees performed "romps" on their TV show that became the precursor for modern music video. Later, just before MTV came into existence, came "Video Killed the Radio Star."

Since that short foray into music video history is out of the way, it's time to discuss Freddie Mercury.

Of course, Queen did other music videos before "It's a Hard Life." Some were quite artistic, and even Bohemian Rhapsody - which was one of those aforementioned "Promo Videos" - had quite a lot of skill that went into its production. The point is, Freddie seemed to detest the mundane. He wanted something that would make a mark and stand out among everything around him.

In the audio commentary for "It's a Hard Life," Brian May said that the video was a "Freddie indulgence, and we indulged him." He wasn't seeing the endeavor as Freddie did, however. This project was more than an indulgence -- it was a beautiful song, with beautiful lyrics, and there was a real chance to make the video speak just as much as the lyrics themselves. Freddie could recognize the music video medium as a canvas upon which he could paint his ideas. With formal training in fine arts, he knew the importance of symbolism and color in both still art and film, and couldn't fathom why the same principles couldn't be applied to his songs.

The lyrics don't just outright tell the story, though. The song says one thing that the video interprets, but both aren't completely in sync. The visuals are up to interpretation just like any work of art. Freddie had two stories to tell here... Not only the story outlined by the words of the song, but also how he felt about those words. And that's where he managed to unite music and video into a wonderful little four-minute movie.

At the center is the main character. Freddie. His entire life is this room in two parts - an opulent staircase that contains all his life's desires. As the scene expands, his court and other revelers dance around him, enjoying life, while the other players - Brian, Roger, and John - stand off to one side in shadow, interacting with no one.

The room itself is interesting. One side is extremely busy, while there is almost nothing on the other side. The balance is striking and obvious; the stairs and everything within - revelers, a throne, gold banisters, lace curtains, balconies and columns, is meant to represent man's desire. This side of the room is warm and comfortable, populated and eye-catching. It could be heaven, or the Garden of Eden or Valhalla. The other side of the room has nothing except shadow, tile, a few stray revelers, and Death and his angels.

And there's Freddie. The commentary on the video does shed some light onto its meaning. A man who appears to have everything is devastated by the lack of love in his life, which would have made him whole. Ultimately, though, the video is about a man who is so crushed by the lack of love that he makes the decision to kill himself.

Red is used carefully but liberally to highlight passion and desire. Interestingly and importantly, red is also the color of blood - remember that for later - although at the beginning, it is very representative of desire. A red "carpet" leads up the stairs, for example, where brightness waits for anyone who enters. Freddie, as the subject of this metaphor, is also wearing red, and is also covered with eyes that are open and forever searching for what he craves. Passion, romance, deep love, and trust. One one arm, this red costume is starting to unravel as he realizes that what he wants is difficult to obtain. He's begun to believe that it's even impossible for him.

And so we reach our second important color. Blue. Often, the lighting abruptly shifts from red to blue, which is a color of sadness and longing, made even more obvious with the use of heavy shadow. It is weighty and unbearable. Crushing. It destroys everything except Freddie, who is alone when the blue light casts shadows upon everything in the room. There is no more red. No more passion. And only one way out.

He tries to make it work. A red, warm glow flashes onto the party again. But he's getting farther away from the party. He's delving into the emptiness.

Brian - as Death - brazenly walks past him on the stairs, but no one seems to notice save for a passing glance. People wearing slight hints of red rush past Freddie, engrossed in each other but ignoring their host.

Freddie is trying to save himself, but as the screen goes blue again, he knows it's over.

Roger - an angel of hell, and John - an angel of heaven, wander into frame behind Freddie. They are also important in this blue landscape of melancholy and loss. "I try and mend the broken pieces/I try to fight back the tears," Freddie says. "They say it's just a state of mind," he goes on to the sound of a discordant guitar sting, as the angels discuss him, perhaps arguing over his soul after the end has come.

This is the point where the video takes a gloriously subtle shift into darkness. It is a scene of cut time - a view of the past where Freddie was long-haired and in his prime, surrounded by the rich, extravagant life that so many people want. Even back then, his expression is devoid of what one would expect from someone with such a bountiful lifestyle, and the real tragedy is that no one seems to notice or care. They ignore his pain, but are suddenly amused and appreciative when he makes a show of himself. And these scenes are intercut with "present" Freddie, framed in blue and heavily shadowed, at his end.

The angels follow Freddie around as if deciding his fate. Though they are dressed as revelers, they always face away from the other people and interact with no one except each other. They go completely unnoticed by everyone, much like Death, although they have an important role to play. They know what's coming and when - they are even the first to climb the stairs as Death makes himself known.

And while the Garden - or Heaven - or Valhalla - is the goal of nearly everyone at this party, Freddie knows he can't find what he's looking for there. He has the ability to get there, but love is constantly eluding him, and he's come to the conclusion that it always will.

And then Death arrives for Freddie, who has finally given up and ended his own life. Suddenly, the red that appears before him isn't passion, but blood and death. Even so, the decision to commit suicide seems to be a cause for celebration - there is dancing, and the pages are throwing rice as if the day of a royal wedding has arrived. Freddie begins to climb the stairs to take a woman by the hand, only to be stung when she steps on his foot and leaves him in pain. It's not what he wanted. It's not what he hoped for.

And then he notices the angels.

The hall is empty, save for them and Freddie, and the looming visage of Death, who leads Freddie out of the Garden and into the empty hall. The angels take their place at the gates, their stare making it absolutely clear that Freddie has been denied any form of afterlife, and that they are in agreement that he will be alone. He can never go back.

But Freddie has no regrets.

"I'll look back on myself and say 'I did it for love,'" he says, as he offers the first and only smile in the entire video.

He did it for love.

[sweetpinkstylist]

Hello hello! I suppose I have made my active presence known so I should probably discuss the elephant in the room that you may or may not be aware of as I’ve been thinking about it for the past few days. I hope to not be too controversial about it. ^^;

For those of you who don’t know, a post was made on the Love Nikki Facebook that, put simply, has asked fans not to rip the game’s content. Of course, I absolutely respect their motivations for that, that they do not want their content to be stolen and sold and/or put into other games without their consent, and I do not want to be the person giving access to the assets to unscrupulous people.

However, I enjoy making my own fan content with the assets, which I get absolutely no money from, and I would never want to out of principle, so I would likely continue to rip things for my own art projects (I know I haven’t been posting many lately, but I promise they do exist, I just don’t finish many lol). I’ve thought about just quietly keeping any rips I make to myself, but I know other people also like to make art using rips and also do not make or want to make any money from them, and I want to help these people if they aren’t able to rip assets for any reason because, you know, I want to help other fans have fun making their own art.

And, perhaps more pertinently, if someone really wants to put stolen assets in their own game, what’s going to stop them from figuring out how to rip the assets themselves and continuing with only a small bump in the road? I rip things from LN with only four programs, including an image converter and an image editing program. If someone as dumb as me can do it, I’m sure the people with enough technological know-how to make a game of their own can figure it out. How can I sit back knowing literally anyone with the know-how can steal and make money off of LN assets while fans just wanting to make pictures for personal use are unable to?

So...... Now what?

Well, first of all, I will still be making rips, and I will still be posting them in the same Google Drive folder. You are still free to download anything from the folders Backgrounds, Character Sprites, Other Images, and Suits and Items folders and use them to create free fan content.

However, there will be some changes to this tumblr of mine here. I won’t be posting raw rips, and any posts I make announcing rip updates (such as when rips from a new chapter are up) will be toned down to just text posts and will not be tagged to the fandom. I’ll be honest, this is mostly to avoid drawing attention to myself for my, uh....uncondoned activities. ^^;

Secondly, though, I’m going to be more cautious about giving rips for more specific things like items, to decrease the chances I’m just handing over an item that someone will slip into a for-profit game or as a part of an commission or something. Anonymous asks in general are perfectly welcome, of course, but I won’t be replying to anonymous asks for specific rips. I’m a bit nervous about this (by that I mean my anxiety is screaming atm but I’m pushing through lol), but I’m going to have to ask for....well, a bit of vetting if you’d like specific items for something. I want this to be as easy as possible for people who may be anxious about asking for something (believe me, I understand XD), but I’m going to have to ask for a couple things: 1) you can contact me via ask or DM, but keep anonymous off (if you send an ask, I promise I’ll reply privately), 2) I'll be suspicious of tumblrs that are suspiciously empty, so if you’ve been active on tumblr for any time at any point, you’re fine, I just don’t want to give things to people who have just made a blank account for the sake of getting past the anon requirement, if your tumblr is void of content with all default theme and avatar and such, I’ll just have a couple extra questions, and 3) most importantly, please tell me what you’d like to do with the image you want, and, if possible, just show me something of a similar type you’ve done (doesn’t have to be specifically LN, just any not-for-profit art you’ve made using other assets) just so I have some evidence you’re not just saying you’re going to make something you’re not. If you haven’t made things like that before but you want to start with LN and want to ask me for a specific asset for your first project, you’re free to show me, say, a screenshot of what you’ve done so I can still get a bit of evidence that you are telling the truth. Same basic rules apply if you want to ask for something for a friend who isn’t on tumblr, that’s perfectly fine, just, again, let me know what they’d like it for and show me some evidence.

Phew, I hope that’s not too intimidating. ^^; This isn’t a huge problem or anything, but I just want to sort of quietly keep sharing rips for fans while restricting the possibility of someone using me to make a profit off LN assets.

Also, if you’d like to start ripping from LN yourself, I can do my best to help, but I won’t be posting instructions publicly (also, I can’t remember all the steps to set everything up in the first place ^^; ), so just shoot me a DM (you can send me a non-anon ask if you really want, but it’ll be much, much easier to talk it through in a DM, so if you send an ask, I’ll send you a DM lol) and I can do my best to help you out. You can also hmu for my Discord since I actually have it on my phone and rarely pop onto tumblr nowadays. That goes for anything, really lol, if you want to chat to me about anything for any reason on Discord, you can ask for it. I’ve thought about making a LN-centric server where I can announce rip updates/just talk about LN with friends and y’all, but that hasn’t come to fruition because I’m indecisive. Feel free to let me know if anyone would be interested in that because I’ll probably be too nervous to go through with it forever if no one would want that. ^^;

Last note: I’ll be deleting some existing things from my Items folder in the next little while. This is a rather arbitrary decision, but you can ask again for anything I’ve deleted. What I’m going to delete vs keep is also going to be somewhat arbitrary, but....y’know, I’m going to do it.

I’m open to criticism or questions for clarification on this btw. Just don’t be mean XD I am soft. This is probably going to end up being an ongoing work-in-progress because I want to respect the dev’s wishes, but I also want to continue to make fan content and help other fans do the same since the “no rips” rule won’t stop unscrupulous people in the first place. New suits will be incoming to the drive folder in the next few days or so (Miku suits are already there as I ripped them from the jpn server a while ago).

Anyway, I’ve talked enough here. ^^; Hope y’all are enjoying your winter holiday(s) of choice!

[humansoulsarg]

Blast from the Past Garfield Comics Solve

On March 28, 2017 - Pangent dropped several modified Garfield comics on the tumblr. Frantic work happened by the team in the discord. You can go find it if you want to relive the chaos. For some reason, it appears this solve was never posted to the humansoulsarg.tumblr.com blog. Today, we aim to remedy that situation. Enjoy! Pangent comics: FEED ME: https://pangenttechnologies.tumblr.com/post/158944128617

Original:

Use a Vigenere cipher to decode the comic. Ciphertext is shown in the Pangent version, the Key is the Original text Panel 1: MR TQIAE MVP WWG ZKBKTQIRO ELE A TRXNOBTIQMA HIZ LBSC LB VP GZO MNLM QITQ EZNI. Hi, there… I’m Jon Arbuckle. I’m a cartoonist, and this is my cat, Garfield. Panel 2: OR TPHAFI MNI AHMNNMIUA CAXJ SDTM MBJ TMFK JU CO WWIATJ PPQOBQIA ERVG AAFQNL. Hi, there. I’m Garfield. I’m a cat, and this is my cartoonist, Jon. Panel 3: XDR QRUY XQQYPQC IB CO ERCHATFMW YSDO. NEJV EPU. Our only thought is to entertain you. Feed me.

Results: panel 1: FJ AJEJA EJG IJG IJHIJFEJC EJE J ADJAGJAIDJH AAH DJGE JB CJ GIJ EJAJ JAAJ AIJA panel 2: HJ AIDJBA AHI JCEJCJAIA AAEJ FAAF EJB BAHI JD JA IJAIAA BCJGIJEJ AJJA AJAIJA panel 3: JJA CEJA EJCEJJJ AJ JA AEJDJAFEJ AEJJ. JAGJ ABA A1-PF convert (set A=1, B=2, C=3, …, J=0, K=A, … P=F) and reverse, recombine into 3-character groups, decode as decimal ASCII: panel 1: 109 101 100 105 097 032 057 048 118 049 107 104 105 053 056 098 097 097 051 050 106 media 90v1khi58baa32j http://mediafire.com/?90v1khi58baa32j unlockering.zip panel 2: 109 101 100 105 097 032 119 109 104 098 122 056 116 051 119 103 053 098 112 049 108 media wmhbz8t3wg5bp1l https://mediafire.com/?wmhbz8t3wg5bp1l breathless.zip panel 3: 12 107 100 051 056 104 051 100 100 053 051 053 100 ?kd38h3dd535d Unsure what to do with this at the moment, let’s look at those ZIPs… unlockering.zip contains unlockering.wav A Kansas City Standard encoded audio file.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kansas_City_standard

Decoding yields a text file with some Vigenere text at the beginning and an ASCII art picture Vigenere with key ‘guineapix’:

The ginger one is called Daisy. She is a special needs pig. She has cataracts in both eyes and is blind. The little one with black nose ears and feet is called Lucy. The big ball of fluff is Annabel. Her breed is Swiss. The one with funky fur on the back end and ginger round the eyes is Boris. A neutered boar who lives with the girls.

breathless.zip contains breathless.wav A Kansas City Standard encoded audio file. Decoding yields a text file with some Vigenere text, decoded with key 'guineapix’:

Lottie, you’d like this. I was reading a book the other day. We’re in the information age, right? All of us, we’re just bombarded by too much information, all the time. Spam emails and social media. Doing really simple things becomes difficult, or complicated, or distracting. We’re all looking for a way to cut through all the noise. It’s easy to blend in and get ignored. It’s an atmosphere which rewards people who really stand out. You have to be bold and spicy and delicious. You’ve got to be a spirit. Can’t be a ghost. Dick Tracy’s on, I’m gonna shut the TV off. There are days when I think we could take over Pangent. The three of us. Take it over and make it right. Maybe that’s just a dream. Maybe that’s the thought that keeps me here. Our mutual friend Alex Schreyer has created a culture of secrecy and fear. He learned that from his dad. So we’re scared. Hiding behind layers of security. We don’t talk to each other. That’s not the way to make a scientific breakthrough. We need to share information. We need to talk to each other, brainstorm with each other. Care about one another. We could fix Pangent. Change everything about it. We could accomplish great things. But we’re scared. Scared of what we could actually do. Lottie, there’s something you wrote for the personality test. Technology. Information wants to be free. And progress belongs to the people. Companies will keep their secrets. They’ll copyright anything they can. But they’ll market it and sell it and blow it up all over the place. Well, information gets out, one way or another. Once you invent something, you can’t uninvent it. Sometimes you have to be real careful with what you put out into the world.

Pangent comic: Pipe https://pangenttechnologies.tumblr.com/post/158944279592

Original:

panel 2: NTA FJIAF EXATM QHPR YEBN NWFW Now Where could my pipe be? panel 3: MRFSAJPOJ!! Garfield panel 2: AFE JCEJB CJGIJ EJAJ JAAJ AIJA panel 3: GRONSFELD!! A1-PF on Panel 2, reverse, and group by 3’s: 109 101 100 105 097 032 053 056 1 media 58? Aha! Combine comic 2 panel 2 + comic 1 panel 3: 109 101 100 105 097 032 053 056 112 107 100 051 056 104 051 100 100 053 051 053 100 media 58pkd38h3dd535d https://mediafire.com/?58pkd38h3dd535d withourterrors.zip withourterrors.zip contains withouterrors.wav A Kansas City Standard encoded audio file. Decoding yields a text file with some Vigenere text, decoded with key 'argentinamayorsassenheim’: (ooh! a combination password)

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% C: Drinking Bird update. Thirteen months without any significant incident. Lucky. I’ll raise a glass to that. The Cube has stabilized to a degree I wouldn’t have thought possible when we began studying it at the beginning of 2017. Reluctant as I am to admit it, Leslie Walsh (aka MayorSassenheim) is responsible for most of that. She’s written code that keeps the Cube stable without real peaks and valleys, and it seems the Cube is capable of learning from that. If I trusted her, I’d leave her to her work and be done with it. I wish I could do that. The situation would be simpler. Officially, I left Project 555 a long time ago. L: you pinged me why did you ping me C: I didn’t. I was talking about you. It must have pinged you automatically L: “Drinking Bird update” jesus lottie C: What? L: you shouldn’t even be doing this who is that even an update for C: For myself. L: of course C: talking to myself thinking about myself it’s what I’m good at. L: i didn’t say that. turn your mic on i’m switching to voice. C: Over a year without any kind of disaster. Leave me alone, I’m celebrating. L: You’re lurking. In the shadows of a project you were fired from how long ago? C: I can do what I want. L: Yeah, I think that’s actually your job title at this point right? Like we don’t know what to do with Lottie and we don’t want any trouble, so I guess Lottie does what she wants. C: Leslie, I’ve been avoiding this conversation for awhile, and I’ve thought long and hard about what to say. So, here it is. Fuck off and die, Leslie, and also fuck you. L: How’s the kid? C: Beautiful. She’s the sun and the moon and the sky and the stars. She’s about six full time jobs, but Eric helps. He’s not bad at the whole father thing. L: Good. I’m glad. I’d like to see her. C: I don’t think that’s a good idea. L: I wish you’d let me be a part of your life again. C: Well, shit happens. L: What was I supposed to do? C: The four of you stole the project out from under me. L: Is that what you think happened? C: And now he’s in charge of all of it. L: Officially, he always was. None of that changed. C: You took control of my work. L: And nobody died. Nobody got hurt. Like you said, nothing happened for thirteen months. What should I have done? Leave it all to him? Dammit Lottie, I did this for you. I worked myself to death on this project, just to make sure it wouldn’t kill anybody. C: It wasn’t your responsibility. It wasn’t your burden to take on. It’s mine. L: Well, shit happens. C: This project, it drains you, it changes you. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that. It’s wrong what you did, and it’s wrong what it did to you. To both of us. L: Lottie, I did my best. Under the circumstances I tried to do what you would do. In my head it’s like I was you. C: That’s ridiculous. For one thing you’re smarter than me. L: No, I’m not. My god, I’m not. C: You are. L: This is a weird thing to say, but like … do you ever feel like you’re in the wrong timeline? Like you’re in a science fiction book about, what if the Nazis won World War II or something? Sometimes it feels like, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Like everything is wrong. C: Yes. I do feel that way sometimes. I think it’s called depression. L: Why do you hate me? C: I don’t hate you. I don’t want to hate you. We were friends and I love you. L: Lottie. C: But we can’t even be friends now and it’s bullshit. It’s him. Alex. And Liam. On their own they’d be almost harmless. The two of them together, they amplify each other’s worst qualities. L: Oh believe me, I know. Multiplying and dividing by a pair of zeroes. C: God, them and every other asshole I had to deal with and still stay halfway sane. L: Project Four. C: Project fuckin Four! Working at Pangent, it’s poison. It poisoned you and it poisoned me. Maybe I do hate you, Leslie. I hate what you did. I hate that you did it better than I could have. L: I miss you. C: Don’t be dramatic. We were only friends to get back at him. L: We were friends because we were friends. C: You know what he said to me, a couple weeks before he took control of 555? He said, I know that you and Leslie will always be friends. Didn’t sound great, coming from him. I think somewhere inside me, I made my mind up to prove him wrong. L: We could have talked this out. Dammit, we were friends. We were supposed to protect each other. C: Whatever that was, that was a moment in time, and times change. You’re stuck in a moment and you think that moment will last forever. But really a moment only comes once. L: I saw you, poking around in the code. Like the whole entire time. You weren’t super subtle about it. Were you trying to get my attention? C: Probably. Yes. L: Alex saw it too, I’m sure he did. C: I don’t care. L: I mean like I kept him from seeing the last build you did. Well, the second to last build. You should really have hidden that better. C: I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. L: He isn’t spying on this chatroom. C: You don’t know that. You fucked me over so many times. You let him in through every backdoor. L: I let him play. Like, I let the baby have his bottle. It was gonna be a fucked up situation either way. C: That doesn’t mean I can ever feel safe again. L: I get that. I’m sorry. C: You should be. I should be. There’s a lot of sorry to go around. L: You finished it, didn’t you? 555. That was supposed to be a final build. Then you erased it. C: I stopped it before it finished uploading. L: It was a finished build. C: Compiled without errors. L: I thought so. What would happen if we ran that code? C: I don’t know. It’s gone. Deleted. Forever. L: I have the partial upload. C: Of course you do. L: I saw you uploading. I mean I started downloading the minute the transfer started. And yeah, so it cuts off at a certain point. So I found the matching point in your previous build and put two and four together. C: See, this is why I can’t trust you. L: I mean I don’t know everything you changed in that build but like I figure it was all pretty top level stuff and bug fixes, whatever was left. My copy is spliced together, but do you think it’s identical to the build you deleted? C: I don’t know. L: It compiled without errors. C: Leslie, no. Oh, I can’t breathe. L: I’ll ask you again. What would happen if we ran that code? C: I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to know. It’s dangerous. L: Of course it is. I mean that’s been the whole problem from the start. C: Yes. L: You finished the code. All of it. And then you deleted it. C: Yes. L: Are you glad I kept the data? C: Yes. God, I’m actually shaking. I hope he’s not listening to this. L: So, what do we do from here? C: I don’t know. Leslie, I’m sorry for not talking to you like a human being for so long. I didn’t know what to say and after awhile, it was just … I put it off too long. L: Not too proud of any of this myself. For reals we’ve both got a lot to pologize for. C: There’s a lot of sorry to go around. L: Yeah but like, I’d like to see you. You, with Eric, and Rachel, and Sharon too. C: Who is Sharon? %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

WTF??!!?! Wowzers.

Comic 3: Odie Pangent Version: https://pangenttechnologies.tumblr.com/post/158944845847

Original:

Randomiser transcribed/vigenered/A1-PF’d comics 3 & 4, I don’t have copies of the intermediate steps, just the finales: 640114011114754011541010018015017823795018115018019723201111231019017901123101401611230115012301111141148231218923001101811411101511101411231594234111017019911167 Comic 4: Lasagna Pangent Version: https://pangenttechnologies.tumblr.com/post/158945180237

Original:

After Vigenering ciphertext with original text, and converting A1-PF: 645111118017970171111151148236456231115013014111115011723201111231019017901123101401611230115012322101110141111167230115018117917231218923001101811411101511101411232594234111017019911167 These final strings may not look like anything, but if you reverse them and manually space them, you get 76 111 99 107 101 114 32 49 51 32 114 101 115 101 114 118 101 100 32 98 121 32 84 114 111 110 32 105 110 32 116 104 101 32 110 97 109 101 32 111 102 32 79 108 105 118 105 97 32 87 105 108 100 101 45 110 45 74 111 104 110 46 76 111 99 107 101 114 32 49 52 32 114 101 115 101 114 118 101 100 32 98 121 32 71 97 118 105 110 32 76 111 114 101 110 122 32 105 110 32 116 104 101 32 110 97 109 101 32 111 102 32 71 105 111 114 103 105 111 32 65 46 32 84 115 111 117 107 97 108 111 115 46 which is of course decimal ASCII:

Locker 13 reserved by Tron in the name of Olivia Wilde-n-John.

Locker 14 reserved by Gavin Lorenz in the name of Giorgio A. Tsoukalos.

Comic 5: Alone Pangent: https://pangenttechnologies.tumblr.com/post/158946474637

Original: (with the 'rest of the story’ to trigger your existential crisis)

GU RAT HFR EBA LQI SUI NHE RK UJ RSM OAN LNG CP HCA TNE VRE ZK OU BCI ONT IK SMO MBN ZN NEL MK KNM BQO RET PD NCO RCI OW NH RR TW FRE AWY JXD GN PO EJM HT PP NHO UQA CEN RID EJH SWA LXN HYO VC TI OD SH LEL DKR XAT PM RES FI which becomes FD AJA ABA AJA JJA HJA AAA AG BC JAA AJA DAA GI HJA GJA EJA HG BC BJA AAA BC AJA IJA GI JAA BC AJA DJA FAA BC JAA EJA BC JE ID GI CJA AJA IJA IG BC ABA HI BC JJA AJA HAA DAA AJA EAA AJA DAA BC CE ID BC DAA AJA GJA II AAA FG 64 101 121 101 001 801 111 17 23 011 101 411 79 801 701 501 87 23 201 111 23 101 901 79 011 23 101 401 611 23 011 501 23 05 94 79 301 101 901 97 23 121 89 23 001 101 811 411 101 511 101 411 23 35 94 23 411 101 701 99 111 67

Locker 15 reserved by Omega12 in the name of Niklaren Goldeye.

—– So everyone’s favorite Orange cat gave us bigtime story drops, and three locker reservations. Nice to get those on the books.

[detectivesplotslies]

SPEAKING OF MUSICALS what’re some songs that fit some v3 ships or moments in the game? Atleast In your opinion

Oh boy. Some of these are gonna be dumb and biased as a warning. I don’t know how many will be ships but I definitely have some moments from the game/character thought ones. This is gonna be a long post cause I like throwing in lyrics SORRY! Anon I hope you don’t regret this lmaoThis is getting…. very long so I think I’m gonna put them under the cut! :’DThere’s some Wicked, Chicago, Avenue Q, Scarlet Pimpernel, Hamilton, Into the Woods, RENT, The Greatest Showman, Little Shop of Horrors, The Producers, Come From Away and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along BlogThere’s some Oumota, Saimatsu, Saiibo, and loose Saiouma in here, but also a few more general ones!

As most of you know, I have a Oumota Wicked AU, but there’s one song I’d like to point out that’s not for the ship that I quite like for the character in question, and that’s Wonderful, for Tsumugi. This one I found to be a great one for comparing what she does there in that au with some actual stuff in the game.Have some lyrics! I guess I just - wanted to give the citizens of Oz everything.

So you lied to them.

Elphaba, where I’m from, we believe all sorts ofthings that aren’t true. We call it“history.”A man’s called a traitor or liberatorA rich man’s a thief or philanthropistIs one a crusader or ruthless invader?It’s all in which labelIs able to persistThere are precious few at easeWith moral ambiguitiesSo we act as though they don’t exist 

—Another song, this one I discussed in a discord server with some awesome friends so not taking full credit for it, is We Both Reached For the Gun from Chicago for Kokichi and Gonta. The interview plays like the setup trial and while not exact is DEFINITELY an awesome play on the vibe and how it was done. Puppetry and motives running the entire show~! Also has some of the best choreography! And when the reporter starts agreeing that there is Shuichi proving it all.

Then describe it.He came toward me.With the pistol?From my bureau.Did you fight him?Like a tiger.He had strength and she had none.And yet we both reached for the gunOh yes, oh yes, oh yes we bothOh yes we bothOh yes, we both reached forThe gun, the gun, the gun, the gunOh yes, we both reached for the gunFor the gun.

—

The next one might be a weird one, and the dramatic delivery might not suit her as much, but I associate Falcon in the Dive from The Scarlet Pimpernel with Maki in chapter 5. It’s about a manhunt, hunting down an enemy, and how your own morals are already done and it’s up to you. There’s a bit of conflict in it about being bitter about it too and it fits some characterization I wish they had shown there there. It plays in with the memories they barely have as well. Have some lyrics!

There was a dream - a dying ember.There was a dream - I don’t remember …but I will resurrect that dream,though rivers stream and hills grow steeper.For here in hell, where life gets cheaper -oh, here in hell, the blood runs deeper.And when the final duel is near,I’ll lift my spear and fly.Piercing into the sky, and higher!And the strong will thrive!Yes, the weak will cower,while the fittest will survive!If we wait for the darkest hour‘til we spring alive,then with claws of fire,we devour like a falcon in the dive. —In a lighter tone, There is Life Outside Your Apartment from Avenue Q is a Kaito drags sidekicks to training song, I dare you to prove me otherwise.  When I say “everyone”, that includes you!There is life outside your apartmentI know it’s hard to conceive,but there’s life outside your apartment,and you’re only gonna see it if you leave.There is cool shit to do,but it can’t come to you.And who knows, dude,you might even score!There is life outside your apartment,but you’ve got to open the door!No, thanks, I’m staying in.Don’t tell me I gotta force you.Sorry!All right everyone! He’s resisting! —OKAY so if you follow me by now you know I really enjoy Kokichi. When I was looking for songs, @dykeenvy reminded me of this one and it fits Chapter 5 Kokichi so well, so shoutout to them! Last Midnight from Into the Woods for Kokichi. It’s the point where everyone’s arguments and blame (from the song Your Fault! which is ALSO a good V3 song, it’s like… every trial) turns to the witch and she’s done with them and it’s great, specifically this lyrical sequence! You’re so nice You’re not good You’re not bad You’re just nice I’m not good I’m not nice I’m just right I’m the witch You’re the world  I’m a hitch I’m what no one believes I’m the witch You’re all liars and thieves Like his father Like his son will be, too Oh, why bother? You’ll just do what you do

—

OKAY now onto some more dialogue heavy stuff! Non-Stop from Hamilton for Kokichi & Shuichi! Let me explain. Kokichi I find is very like Hamilton, making himself the center of it all, writing, not stopping, going at it all, making enemies but overall doing more and more ambitious. Meanwhile Shuichi is a lot more like Burr, says less, but knows what he’s doing, and bewildered by Hamilton’s methods. Keeps his cards close to his chest until he needs them. Kokichi writing like he’s running out of time is so very very in character. It just fits him SO WELL. It could even represent Kokichi’s attempt to partner with him in chapter 4 and being turned down. Some lyrics! Why do you always say what you believe?Why do you always say what you believe?Ev'ry proclamation guarantees free ammunition for your enemiesWhy do you write like it’sGoing out of style?Write day and night like it’sGoing out of style?Ev'ry day you fight like it’sGoing out of style—On a more somber note, I think The Story of Tonight from Hamilton has great post game VR AU feels for the survivors and maybe Rantaro too in the midst of causing Team Danganronpa some disastrous reactions to their forced ending. I love aus where they are getting legal repercussions and the cast is being held, the dead maybe even still under, until it’s worked out and I think this fits here

I may not live to see our glory! (I may not live to see our glory!)But I will gladly join the fight! (But I will gladly join the fight!)And when our children tell our story… (And when our children tell our story…)They’ll tell the story of tonightLet’s have another round tonight (Let’s have another round tonight)Let’s have another round tonightRaise a glass to freedomSomething they can never take awayNo matter what they tell youRaise a glass to the four of us Tomorrow there’ll be more of usTelling the story of tonightThey’ll tell the story of tonight —

Okay, another shoutout to @dykeenvy and the Yeehonk! server for this one since we chatted about it in there BUT - Take Me or Leave Me from Rent is an Oumota song. The energy, the stances, the stubborness. It is ALL THERE. A tiger in a cageCan never see the sunThis diva needs her stage, babyLets have funYou are the one I chooseFolks will kill to fill your shoesYou love the lime light to now babySo be mine but don’t waste my timeCryin’, “Oh, honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?”Take me for what I amWho I was meant to beAnd if you give a damnTake me baby or leave me —

I’d be remiss to not do another Tsumugi song, given who I am. So I’m bringing up Opening Night from The Producers for Tsumugi. For her ending disaster and the audience complaints during the PTA segment! I just… really like to think it was a all blamed on her sometimes hahah. Sorry mugi.He’s done it againHe’s done it againMax Bialystock has done it againWe can’t believe itYou can’t conceive itHow’d he achieve it?It’s the worst show in town!We sat there sighingGroaning and cryingThere’s no denyingIt’s the worst show in townOh, we wanted to stand up and hissWe’ve seen shit, but never like this

—

Okay for this one just… hear me out. The Other Side from The Greatest Showman for Oumota. A circus ringleader and a respectable patron of the arts walk into a bar, argue about their reputations a bit, make a deal and talk about living a little. Clowns are even mentioned. I mean come on! Don’t you know that I’m okay with this uptown part I get to play‘Cause I got what I need and I don’t want to take the rideI don’t need to see the other sideSo go and do like you doI’m good to do like meAin’t in a cage, so I don’t need to take the keyOh, damn! Can’t you see I’m doing fineI don’t need to see the other side

Now is this really how you like to spend your days?Whiskey and misery, and parties and plays

If I were mixed up with you, I’d be the talk of the townDisgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns

But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a littleJust let me give you the freedom to dream And it’ll wake you up and cure your achingTake your walls and start ‘em breakingNow that’s a deal that seems worth takingBut I guess I’ll leave that up to you —

Kokichi in ships is always a troublesome thing, as he’s got a lot of issues with himself too, so I think Leave from Once is very Kokichi. Oof. Sorry this one is mostly angst fodder. I can’t wait forever is all that you saidBefore you stood upAnd you won’t disappoint meI can do that myselfBut I’m glad that you’ve comeNow if you don’t mindLeave, leave,And free yourself at the same timeLeave, leave,I don’t understand, you’ve already goneAnd I hope you feel betterNow that it’s outWhat took you so longAnd the truth has a habitOf falling out of your mouthBut now that it’s comeIf you don’t mindLeave, leave,And please yourself at the same time

—

Now for something completely different! Meek Shall Inherit from Little Shop of Horrors for Shuichi! Moral dilemmas, biases and making terrible decisions for the sake of people liking him after his ‘success’ starts building. Oof. Sorry Shuichi, I know Seymour’s not the most moral character but the comparison is there a bit. My future’s startingI’ve got to let itStick with that plantAnd gee my bank account will thriveWhat am I saying?No way, forget itIt’s much too dangerous to keep that plant aliveI take these offersThat means more killingWho knew success would come with messy nasty strings?I sign these contractsThat means I’m willingTo keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things

—

Now for a different ship! My Freeze Ray from Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog for Saimtasu. I think it outlines Shuichi’s anxiety when trying to get close to Kaede pretty well, and also how little he knows about her at the start, but is still cute! With my freeze ray I will stop the worldWith my freeze ray I willFind the time to find the words to

Tell you howHow you makeMake me feelWhat’s the phrase?Like a foolKinda sickSpecial needsAnyways —

One more. This ship’s just one of my comfort ones and of course I’m giving it angst. Stop the World from Come From Away for Saiibo. Specifically at the end of trial 6, where they know everything;s coming down, shuichi and the survivors made their choice, and Kiibo’s going to self destruct, and everything;s going to end, but they all get one more goodbye. Agh Kiibo didn’t need to go then and it makes me sad.  Stop the worldSeize the momentBut the minute he goes you’re alone, and it’s through pinch yourselfTell yourself:“You’re just dreaming, that means he’ll forget about you”

But here we areWhere the continents once crashed togetherBefore they went their separate ways forever, so stop the world

—Sorry for rambling so very LONG anon. Hope you enjoy these, maybe you’ll find a new song today :’D

[licoriceblackaliceangel]

February 1st is the day I made this blog!

First making this blog, I’ve said it plenty of times when it was brought up, but I never intended to do much with it.

I made it for the purpose of not flooding my main blog with bat/im stuff, and having the idea of answering asks for Alice if any came by. I was RPing as Alice with someone on discord for at least four months prior to this blog, and soon this blog delved more into an RP blog more than an ask blog.

I’ve made plenty of friends, have so many memories and a lot of growth through this blog. And despite some of the hard times I faced and forces and situations where I almost deleted a few times.. I don’t regret a thing.

SO.

I decided to make a little follow forever under the cut! A few people (Going back. A lot of people did. Oops.) will get some special shoutouts solely because I have a lot of thoughts, but if I don’t write something for you, don’t think you mean any less to me! If I forget anyone, my DEEPEST APOLOGIES. I have the memory of a gold fish and trying to remember everyone is. Hard.

But just know if we are mutuals I LOVE AND CHERISH YOU.

This also got a lot longer than I expected OOPS

@inkdrenchedsmile: Tea, I tell you everyday and talk to you almost everyday. I love and cherish you so so so much. You’re the sweetest, cutest, most darling thing ever. You are the brightest little marshmallow peep~ And I have so grateful everyday to have met you and be able to write with you. I love your writing and stories and your ideas and art and YOU ARE SO TALENTED! You mean the world to me. I love you, honeybun <3

@kalamxs: GIO. BOY YOu know I told you plenty of times you’re one of the reasons I even went to making this blog. I followed you before I even had the thought in my mind (I don’t remember why, maybe from your AWESOME ART and your writing and rping made me stay) because YOU ARE SO FUCKING GOOD!! I remember laughing all the time and sharing with my friends in my discord even though they don’t exactly understand BUT-- Man I’m so happy I got to actually. Interact with you! And get to befriend you and man YOUR ART GIVES ME LIFE. I love seeing all your stuff and writing and I LOVE WRITING WITH YOU. Bendo and Alice are absolutely adorable as well; fucking dorks. I LOVE YOU BABEY!! NEVER GONNA STOP LOVIN AND SUPPORTIN YOU!!

@bendicethedaughterofthedevil: NICK. You know I been with you since the MERE START. And I told you watching your growth and Bendice’s story was. WOO. Man I sometimes see the old Baby Shower art thing I did for the twin’s baby shower like.. Gonna be almost a year with that too. And just. :(.. THINGS WERE SIMPLER THEN.. I love you Nick, you’re talented and sweet and so so ambitious and strong and I LOVE YOU BABEY!!

@devilswinging: Veemo, I am so glad to have been able to meet ya and interact with you. I love ya man and I love writing with you and your muses. I love the small chit chats we have and seeing you on my dash. I love Alice’s relationship with Bebe and Sammy and just. Man!! You know, no matter what, if you ever feel down and feel like no one likes your boys, know I !! Will always love and appreciate them. <3 And Alice does too.

@instrumentsofcyanide: STELLLAAAAAAA. I fucking love you Stella. You’re so funny and sweet and the little messages back and forth sometimes and you coming in my DMs like: WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOUR ANONS all the time is. So funny. All the damn fiascos Oreo manages to produce and just. Oreo in general. Always gets me laughing and smiling. I love you and your boy so much?? You’re so fun and creative and silly and just an OVERALL JOY TO TALK AND BE AROUND WITH!!! I’m so glad to be able to interact and talk with you <3 (Never forget the first time I think you actually said anyhting to me was about that one Alice Blog Foot Pics Fiasco and I’ll never forget being like; Man someone I look up to and I’s first interaction is over saying ‘wow fuck this girl’ over guilting me for foot pics-- DOFIHJGFD)

@inkwise: AVI I LOVE YOU SM. DFKGJ. You’re so sweet and creative and your muses are an absolute joy. I especially have so many feelings. For Henry. So much. I love this man so much and I thank you and him everyday for my life. He needs a break. I love getting to write with you and seeing you on my dash is?? A fucking delight. Thank you. <3

@lxgner: ALICE YOU CREATIVE SWEET PERSON. You have so many damn muses and I APPLAUD YOU. Your OCs are all pretty sweet imo? The ones I seen. And the ambition you have to write and work on all this?? I applaud. I love your Joey muses esp and they’re so interesting and I love the thought you put into them all you know?? It’s interesting and really brings life into them. Your writing is delicious and your humor is. Great. I love writing with you <3 Keep your head up darling.

@one-eyed-twin: LADY V I LOVE YA SWEETHEART. Your muses are a delight and I love the little threads we’ve had, either it with Phiona, Clyde or Vlad (here and on my other blog) I love peaking at your threads and seeing your writing. You’re an absolute delight and I love?? Your creativity and your ART!! You truly are a person with impeccable tastes ~ Love seeing you on the dash, love <3

@inkyencounters: Glowbun you. Are really a sweetheart. So creative and funny, you really are kind and try to look out for everyone and it’s Very nice. I’m very appreciative of how kind ya are and the creativity you have with your muses and just. It’s very refreshing. Thank you for everything.

@sillymuses: Where do I begin. I love writing with you either with Charlie or on this blog, both here and my OC blog of course. You really have such a creative spin in your writing and really? Feel your characters and paint them so!! Amazingly. I love the back and forth between you and you’re honestly. Adorable. I love seeing you and your creativity hun <3

@inkmachine: GLOOMY I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE THINGS ARE/WILL GET BETTER SOON LOVIE. God it’s always a treat when you’re online and on the dash it’s. Always hilarious. I love seeing what Bendy fucking gets up to this time and he’s so?? Awesome. I love him a lot. The little bastard PFF. He’s absolute adorable and cute and I love the dark shit with him honestly. And him and Alice’s lil Candi adventures are always. Tooth rottingly sweet. I love ya hun. <3

@taakos-troupe-of-threads: I hope you know the phrase “Snap would fight Chalk Jesus for Alice’s honor” is a thing that will NEVER leave my mind and tends to cross it once a day. PFF. I love writing with you and seeing you on the dash as well! Snap is a fucking DOLL and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. (As does Alice, ofc) They’re absolutely adorable and poor girl is such a worrier PFF. Our DMs are always something funny as well, I think. I always know I’m in for something good when I see that fucking. Orange Danny Devito icon in my dms-- KSKJF

@dappcrdust: GLITTER!! Man. I remember first writing with you with your Bendy muse and honestly? Ever interaction from him to now has ALWAYS been a fun treat. I love your writing and love seeing you on and getting into whatever shenanigans that seem to pop up. Mostly with Angel it seems pfff.. Sweet Angel. I love what you have all done and cooked for him and his character he’s so?? three dimensional i love it. Him and Alice’s BFFship is honestly. Great and I love them SO MUCH. You’re creative and fun and just. A sweetheart. Love ya hun <3

@gamblxrhxsk: tbh I didn’t know what blog to @ YOU FUCKING MANIAC. Jk. I love you Echo. PFFF It’s funny to me that I feel I got closer with you via fucking. shit with CEO-Entity. LMAO. Echo where do I start. You are SO DAMN FUNNY. Like my GOD how many times have I laughed out loud to myself over some shit ya wrote and done?? Hell, even with your stuff with phil swift and entity and all that stuff got my SQUAD TO COME TO ME LAUGHING OVER IT!! I love also all your muses and the fact you got this whole arsenal and can?? Keep up with it for what it seems like. PROPS!! I love fucking around with you here and there and even though we don’t really write together too much (which, I would love to but I’m myself and even still lowkey anxious OIGJG) I just love putzing around and seeing you do your thing on the dash; from jokes to serious business. It’s always a treat. <3

@nctherchpter: Pai, I’m still lowkey so flattered you ever followed me back (and now mutuals with me on our mains like. WHAAA--) Your art is always. Bellissimo. Asriel was always a joy to see and honestly just. Stole my heart. I love him so much. Your writing is always a joy and man you just. Are skilled in The Arts(TM) Your self insert blog is also?? Awesome. I love the concept and idea and going through with a thing like? Honestly. Inspiration. All your self insert stuff really is just. Big big inspo. I’m so glad you seem to have? So much fun. Also I did say it in Nick’s stream many moons ago when they were going through BATIM again. Your voice is v cute <3

@clair-de-luna: WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH YOU!!! Man I remember following your main back for that SWEET MUFFETON ART. My cherished Muffeton mutual. And now here we both are with THIS. YOUR ART JUST CONTINUES TO INSPIRE AND GROW AND I LOVE!! SEEING IT!! And LUNA MELTS ALICE AND I’S HEART ALL THE TIME. God does she ADORE HER LITTLE STAR!! Ugh. I cry real tears. Always a delight to see you both here and your main. <3 I love ya DC!!

@lilithmagne: AC you. Are truly an artistic marvel. Your art is INCREDIBLE, your writing is BEAUTIFUL. And I love seeing you on my dashboard. You are so sweet and kind?? It’s so nice. I LOVE the love and work you put into Lilith and her story and your research and dedication? It’s amazing. Lilith is an absolute BEAUTY and God I LOVE HER. You do her SUCH A BEAUTIFUL JUSTICE!! So honored to be mutuals with you honestly. <3 Keep being amazing you beautiful person.

@lucifermagne: MARZI YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL. Working on all those HH icons for other rpers, working on your other RP blogs and pumping out that SWEET CONTENT. You are honestly a treasure. You are absolute sweet and a joy to see online. I love peaking at your threads and LOVE seeing your posts either for HCs or just IC shenanigans with Lucifer. You put so much through and care into your interpretation of him and I LOVE IT. He’s such a fun goof ball but at the same time presents himself as. THE KING OF HELL. Obviously. He’s an absolute Joy and just!! It’s amazing. We haven’t threaded together yet but even despite that?? I just love seeing you and him (and Alastor and Marx and the gang ofc) on the dash. Always a damn delight. <3

@thatscwewywabbit: we only just started interacting like. a week or so ago but AMANDA Man I have told you before how much I adore seeing you write for Bugs and how it’s ALWAYS SO FUN to see him and your posts for him on the dash. THE AMOUNT OF RESEARCH, CARE, LOVE, THOUGHT ALL PUT INTO HIM AND YOUR WRITING FOR HIM. It’s just so good. So refreshing. Ugh. MY CHILDHOOD!! It makes me so happy all the time. You really are. An inspiration. Writing with you and him is a DELIGHT and love peeking at your other threads just. It’s so nice. It’s almost uncanny how well you play him. My goodness! Keep being awesome lovely <3

@viennaxmuses​: Fuck you bitch. Yeah. You’re getting put here. Bitch. Fuck you. I LOVE YOU. BItch. You fucking fuck. You sweet cute funny fuck. You adorable loving supportive bitch. Ya uplifting comforting creative artistic thot. Fuck you.

Okay this went WAY LONGER THAN I INTENDED but sorry everyone else I didn’t write a lil blurb for. I wrote a lot and I STILL WANNA GIVE SHOUTOUTS CUS I LOVE!! ALL OF YOU!! Even non-mutuals like. I just wanna share all the love and appreciation I have here.

@hxllodolly @cvangclii @snxkeyes @ofinkdxmonsandxngels @brxkeninstrument / @butcherbrains @stupidcoffeeboy @strawberry-lemonade-muses @hazbinmuses @bornloscrs @black-jack-the-cat​ @bluescarfvivi @a-framed-rabbit​ @angelusvoce​ @ask-slender-and-gray​ @wrenchand-abone

[girlafraidinacoma]

In the Lap of the Gods: Chapter Four - We’re Doing Alright, How About You?

Summary: What do you get when you mix a tight-knit art community, young, hot-blooded twenty-something university students and good old-fashioned British Rock & Roll? Probably the next best hope for art and music that generation has to offer. With her friends’ band skyrocketing to fame, what exactly does a girl do when she suddenly finds herself sitting in the lap of the gods? The answer: do the only thing she can do, rise to the occasion of course!

Pairing: Gwilym Lee!Brian May x Original Female Character 

Words: 3.8k+

Author’s Note: Yeesh, I really do take forever to update, and yes I will be calling myself out. 

Kind of AU, contains both elements from real life and the Bo Rhap universe, so imagine whoever you prefer whether they be the real thing or the Bo Rhap Boys–be free.

[ Link to the Ao3 fic! ]

Chapter Playlist:

1. Doing All Right...Revisited - Smile 2. Earth - Smile 3. Doing Alright - Queen

Chapter Four - We’re Doing Alright, How About You?

Ealing, November 1969.

They were playing the Ealing College bar tonight, one of their more favoured spots to play if only because everyone knew their names and the beer was free for the rostered band. The place was packed; the room permeated with the heat of bodies and cigarette smoke.

For November, it had been an uncharacteristically mild night. Mild enough for Roger to sport a pair of red gym shorts paired oddly with a dark t-shirt and an open denim button down. The drummer thought that they were doing swimmingly so far; he got at least two or three catcalls before they had started their set, a fact that had him grinning all the while. Brian on the other hand, ever the perfectionist that he was, couldn’t help but pinpoint the rare discordant chord he fumbled during one of the harder bits of a song. He couldn’t tell if either of the boys have noticed, but the displeasure was keen on his face as he shook his head of curls and sucked in a breath.

It also didn’t help that he could tell something was off about Tim tonight. Their bassist/lead-singer had been performing the same as he usually did, his stage presence too hadn’t varied, and had Brian not known him as well as he did he probably would not have noticed anything awry. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that Tim was holding back on something. This, of course, sent Brian more on edge and he almost missed their transition from ‘April Lady’ to ‘Earth’.

I might be at a table And suddenly I'll catch A fleeting vision of her crystal seas

In an attempt to rid himself of those nagging thoughts, Brian’s eyes scanned the crowd, hoping that at least they were enjoying themselves. He concluded that they were doing moderately well if he was being generous. Many were nodding along to the beat, some even mouthed the words or gave a whoop of appreciation, but it didn’t feel enough for the guitarist. He felt like they could be doing something more, as to what, he couldn’t put his finger on it just yet. Though the truth was that there wasn’t really much more that the crowd hadn’t already seen from them. Their novelty had worn off months prior; moreover,m they had only written a few songs and the band already agreed that they would stop doing covers. Among the sea of drunken expressions was a set of familiar eyes gazing back at him.

They belonged to her: the mystery artist he offended back at Fred and Roger’s flat that very week. He should have known she would be here he supposed, but it didn’t stop his surprise. She was the one that made the fliers for their show and she looked to have been a good friend of Freddie and Roger’s. Brian only hoped he would have a chance to speak to her later and apologize for his behaviour. He hadn’t even gotten her name.

At the moment she was positioned close to the bar, slowly swaying to the music, her pendant earrings swinging lightly as she moved. Feeling the intensity of his stare, her eyes flickered downwards, her cheeks glowing pink. Someone called her attention and she walked away from her spot, Brian’s eyes tried not to lose her in the throng of people. It was Freddie who had called her to him, he had been waiting for her with drinks he managed to procure from the bartender. Brian saw her laughing at something Freddie had said in her ear and he felt a strange churning in the pit of his stomach, he averted his eyes, not wanting to appear even more of a creep than he already probably was. He shifted his focus to his guitar, pouring his concentration into finishing the set as flawlessly as he could.

When they had concluded, Tim took it upon himself to address the crowd, “Cheers, everyone. Hope you enjoyed our show and as always…”

“Don’t forget to Smile!” The group shouted happily in response, with several raising their glasses.

“You’re bloody right!” Roger called from behind his kit, laughing.

They were packing away all their equipment into Roger’s van when Tim had said that he wouldn’t be rejoining them for drinks inside.

“What’s this about Tim?” It was actually Roger who broke the awkwardness first. For such a mild night, Roger was steadily growing heated.

“I’m leaving Smile.” Tim said rather abruptly. Nope. Brian definitely did not see this coming, and the shock was clear on his face.

“What?!” The drummer half-yelled.

“Smile. I’m movin’ on, guys.”

“And what exactly are you moving on towards?” Asked a very agitated Roger.

“Humpy Bong.”

Brian, who had been quiet for a while now, did a double-take. “Humpy Bong?”

“Humpy Bong.” Tim affirmed, “They’re going places. They’re gonna be big.”

“Humpy Bong?” Roger repeated, incredulous. “Are you joking?”

“Don’t do it, Tim.” Urged Brian quietly.

“I’m sorry guys but we’re not going anywhere with this.” The frontman explained. “What, college gigs? Pubs? I’ve got to give it a go.” He said, picking up his guitar case, resolved to leave the two without looking back.

“Well that was…” Brian fell quiet once more, his body still as a statue as he became lost in thought. So that was it then? After years of collaboration, that was the end of Smile?

“A prick move.” Roger finished for him. “Could have at least given us a warning. Shit.”

“‘Unexpected’ was what I was going for, but yeah I would have to agree with you.”

“Jesus, I need a drink.” Rog said as he turned round and tramped back inside. A beleaguered Brian followed him wordlessly, deciding that the situation called for getting sloshed with his bandmate.

Minutes later, Brian and Roger had found a corner booth back inside the bar and were talking amongst themselves. Roger had only worked himself up til now, “I can’t believe it. I’ve never even heard of them until just now! I mean what kind of name is Humpy Bong?” It took a bit of effort, but Brian had luckily talked his friend down into a more manageable simmer. The drummer sighed, visibly upset, “I think he’s right. The show was a load of bollocks.” The words were bitter in his mouth.

“There was room for improvement, yeah.” Brian conceded, not really wanting to put Roger in a worse mood.

“I’ve got better things to do with my Saturday nights,” The drummer said when he got to thinking, “I could give you their names.” He tapped the excess ash off the end of his cigarette in the ashtray, smirking to himself. Brian only pulled a long frown, clearly unimpressed with his bandmate's overcompensating facade.

It wasn't long before a familiar face came over to greet them. “Bri, Roggie. Good show.” Freddie said, strolling up to their table with a good-natured bravado. The pair could always count on him to lift their spirits, Freddie just had an innate talent to make people feel good even with just a few words and his toothy smile. What he did not count on however was to see the figure that stood just over Fred's shoulder. It appears that he brought a girl with him. THE girl. Freddie and Roger's artist friend.

Perhaps, now was Brian's chance to talk to her.

At such a close distance he could see her quite clearly now, his view unobscured by a mass of bodies. She had a square-ish face framed by a full fringe which curled to the apples of her cheeks. She looked sweet, almost child-like with her large open eyes, thick lashes and cute button nose. Tonight she was wearing a crocheted lace top without sleeves and a short denim skirt, her figure made taller by the shiny black gogos on her feet. She was beautiful, of course she was, he had known it since he first saw her, but what was now abundantly clear to him was that consequent viewings would not lessen his admiration of her.

She, meanwhile, dutifully ignored the guitarist.

“Thanks, man.” Brian said half-heartedly, tearing his gaze away from her to acknowledge Freddie.

“Thanks, Fred.” Roger was smiling at his roommate. “And you, Sweet? What did you think?” he looked over Freddie’s shoulder, eyes wide and a little hungry for approval. Brian knew the feeling, unconsciously he held his breath, waiting for her response.

“I liked it, Rog. Groovy.” She said.

Brian only just now remembers to breathe. That’s a good sign, right?

“Hah.” Roger barked, certainly less despondent now. Brian didn’t miss the unsubtle way the drummer’s eyes roved up and down her sparsely covered legs, “Killer boots.” Roger said with a knowing grin, taking a slow drag from his cigarette.

The girl bit down on her lip to prevent a forming smile. “Thanks, they came highly recommended.”

“Well, whoever recommended them must have impeccable taste.” The drummer stated with an exhale of smoke. Although Brian was at a loss as to where the conversation headed, Freddie just chuckled at the pair, clearly in on whatever joke was being shared and began to light his own cigarette.

“He has his moments.” She rolled her eyes, conceding.

“He better.” Roger quipped, before remembering that they were not alone. “Oh Sweet, have I introduced you to Brian yet? Brian, this is our friend, Wyn. That’s Wyn with one ‘n’ and no ‘e’.”

“And who’s reminded us that she’s not Welsh,” Fred cut in.

“Though it is a Welsh sounding name...” Roger added.

“Correct.” Freddie said, nodding.

“Right.” Roger chimed. “Not-Welsh-Wyn, Brian.”

“And that’s ‘Brian’ spelt the regular, boring way.” Fred bantered.

Wyn . Wyn, that was her name, and now that he had it, Brian felt that he could now begin to try and make amends.

But the girl only eyed Brian narrowly, before humming sweetly in affirmative. “Mhmm…” Her eyes travelled to him briefly before diverting her attention to Fred beside her, “Get you another drink?”

“I would love another, darling.” Fred said sliding into the booth next to Roger and engaging him in a chat. If Brian thought he had been deprived of oxygen earlier, her perfunctory dismissal of him left the man with a feeling akin to a gut punch. Wyn’s hair fanned behind her, bouncing a little with each step as she made her way to the bar with renewed purpose.

“I should --” There was a beat until Brian stood up rather quickly, his leg jostling the table and nearly toppling their half-finished beers over in the process “Er, sorry . I should probably go-- sorry…” he said, tripping over his own foot, not quite finishing his thought as he ran after the girl.

Wyn had already called the bartender’s attention, motioning for another two pints with her fingers. There was a small tap on her right and she could only guess as to whose it was. “Excuse me?” It said.

She was debating on whether she would continue to ignore him, her pride still hurt with the petty grievance. But then the voice that came at her shoulder was so tiny, her heart could not deny she lend an ear to it. She would hear him out after all.

“Sorry, I’m Brian. Brian May?” Brian internally berated himself for sounding unsure of even his own name. “You knew that already… I just -- I wanted to apologize for the other day?” There was an imploring look on the guitarist’s face.

“It’s fine.” The girl shrugged her bare shoulders, watching the bartender come back with two lagers, he placed the drinks in front of her and picked up the bill Wyn slid him in payment.

Brian’s large hand was pleasant weight on her shoulder as he vied for her attention. “No, no it’s not. Wyn, I was an arse to you, and I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you with what I said, I wasn’t thinking...Can you forgive me?” She considered him a moment, his beautiful mess of curls, the droop of his mouth, his sad puppy dog eyes full of concern. He reminded her of a poodle. She had always loved dogs...

“You’re right. You were being an arsehole.” Wyn said, deadpan. It was then that she faced body fully towards him and offered an earnest smile, “Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment. But I’m sure buying the next round could expedite the process?” She asked coyly. Wyn wouldn't admit to it, but she’d already forgiven him the second he had asked for it. She couldn’t refuse him, not with the way he had looked so distraught at her earlier rebuffing, and certainly not with those sad blue eyes.

Brian chuckled, obliging. “Happy to.” And he was, to tell the truth flagging down the bartender again and ordering four more, cheerful even as he handed his money over. They shared a smile, and both tried to check the other out without the other person noticing. “I er, I also really wanted to tell you that I liked your stuff. I found a few of the drawings you’ve left at the flat, they're good , and I’ve kind of kept one. Although I should have probably asked you first.”

“That’s lovely of you to say, Brian.” She said sounding very happy, genuinely touched by the compliment. “And I don’t mind, There’s plenty more at home. Which one did you end up keeping?”

“The Jimi Hendrix?”

“Oh, yeah! I did like how that one turned out, I’ve got a few more of him in my sketchbook. I like drawing musicians, actually, you're always in action, unbelievably dynamic. It’s so much fun trying to condense all that energy into a still frame. I always have a bit of difficulty picking which angle and the particular moment to draw them in, photographs are a great help but there’s so much choice!” She revealed excitedly.There was an unhidden passion in the way she spoke and her face lit up. “I could definitely give you more if you’d like?”

"What?" Wyn asked when she met his eyes, Brian looked at her with something she couldn’t quite describe, though he tried to contain his smile. “What are you thinking now, May?”

Absently, Brian tried to come up with an equation to map the poised upward curve of her mouth, but instead of telling her of his plans he merely shook his head saying, “I’m just thinking that I prefer you like this over being angry with me. I felt horrible these past days. I crossed some poor girl I didn’t even know.”

“Well next time don’t be so rude!” She chided, bumping his shoulder.

“And I’ll apologise as many times as you want. I’ll grovel if I have to, I felt that bad.”

“That move must be so popular with the ladies, driving a man to his knees…” Wyn giggled at his stunned expression, also not quite believing the blatant way she flirted with the man. Wyn cleared her throat, “C’mon. I know our boys will be thirsty.”

As they were going back to the table, Brian’s blue gaze widened when he found another person he recognised sitting in their booth. “Hullo, Mary. You alright?” He said, placing their tray of drinks onto the table.

The blonde in question was sitting next to Freddie, leaning into him until she saw Brian approach. Her face was still as pretty as he remembered, and Mary looked at him with a bright grin, “Fine thanks, Brian. I was just stopping by to tell you guys you played well tonight.”

“Thanks, Mary. That’s lovely to hear.” When he saw her get up and grab her coat he grew a little alarmed. “You didn’t want to stay and have a drink with us?”

“Oh um, I’ll be heading off actually. I’ve got an early start tomorrow.” She reminded him kindly. “It was nice to meet you, Freddie.”

“I like your coat,” Freddie said as she slipped it on, but his stare lingered more on the person who was wearing it rather than the actual garment itself, though the coat was very nice.

“It’s from Biba.” she informed him with a blush.

Roger liked Biba, there were lots of girls to see there, not bad looking either. “You’re still working there?” He asked with a knowing grin.

Unbeknownst to Brian, Roger’s eyes bounced between Freddie and Mary, witnessing a mutual spark of attraction. When one’s been at the game for as long as he has, seeing these things become something like second nature.

“Er, yeah. Staff discount and all that.”

“That’s good. I might have a look at your coats some other day.” Fred said with a grin of his own.

Roger stopped himself from snarkily commenting where he would get the money to shop at Biba, when their Kensington stall was slow as ever. Freddie could look as much as he pleased, looking was free, carrying on with Mary was another matter entirely (especially with her and a certain someone's history).

Mary didn’t dare look at Freddie, afraid of giving herself away more. “Well, goodbye.” she said, giving them all a friendly wave. Freddie’s eyes followed her all the way to the exit.

“Bye, Mare.” Brian said warmly. Wyn in the meantime had slipped her body into the booth, flanking Roger’s right side as Freddie did the other, busying herself with her tall lager, happy to fly under the radar. Brian climbed in right next to her.

Roger raised his half-finished drink, “How's about we all get shit-faced now?”

About an hour and a half into their drinking session, Wyn found herself gasping for air as Brian told her one cheesy physics joke, they were terrible and she loved every one of them. Okay, so maybe she shouldn’t have tried to match Roger drink for drink earlier. Freddie and Roger meanwhile had taken to the dance-floor, the drummer again on the prowl.

“So where’s you’re lead singer anyway? I haven't seen him anywhere after the set.” Wyn asked the guitarist when she finally calmed down, wiping at the tears from her eyes. There were many equally drunken conversations being held all around them, yet she doubted anyone was having as good of a time as she was. She found his dry wit and soft-spoken ways quickly smoothing out the wrinkles of her first impressions of him. Maybe she had been too defensive, too quick to anger when he wrongly assumed her relationship with Roger.

“Tim?" Brian asked with raised brows, "He’s the reason for this binge! He just quit. Without even a warning.”

This was new information to her, politeness be damned. “What? That’s pretty shitty of him.”

Brian had already lost count of how many pints he had, an unusual move on his behalf, it was probably the last thing on his mind now that Smile was on the verge of breaking up and the girl in front of him actually seemed to enjoy his conversation. His lanky form swayed a little in his seat. “He left us -- left us for HUMPY BONG . What even is that?”

“A crap name for a children’s show.” She shot back, taking a swig from her glass, before cracking up at her own joke. The two were sitting so close together that Brian’s knee had been knocking hers underneath the table.

“It’s not funny,” Brian said, giggling. “Okay, it’s a lot funny.” Brian told himself that he only felt the need to get closer to her as to hear the girl better, yep, that was definitely the only reason, and not because she was incredibly attractive and had laughed at his jokes (even the shite ones).

“Well then you’ll need someone new, don’t you?”

“We're open to ideas, why, do you have any?” Wyn almost whacked him across the face with the speed at which she pointed at the dance-floor. his eyes followed the direction of her finger. “Roger? I suppose he could sing, people might have a bit of trouble spotting him from the back, though I'm sure Rog will manage, and we'll still need a bass player…”

“No! Not Roger,” Wyn replied with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “ Freddie . Freddie can do it.”

“...I don’t know, Wyn.” he said scratching the back of his head.

“Freddie can do it!” The girl asserted with a vigorous nod of her head. “I know he can, he’s spectacular. You should hear him sing! What's that thing he said about the incisors?”

"I have no clue, Rog is the dentistry student, not me!"

"Something about more teeth, a big mouth and a larger range? You need that mouth! You need his voice!" Brian laughed a little, not at what she was saying per se, but seeing her so eagerly defending their friend only made him more fond of her. Wyn gripped his arm, her hands feeling quite warm on his already heated skin. Waiting after another bout of laughter to pass her, she attempted a sense of sobriety, “Look, I acknowledge the fact that I am hilariously plastered right now, but I know what I’m talking about. YOU. NEED. FREDDIE.”

“You called, darling?” Freddie had appeared right behind her, having returned to their booth when he finished dancing. When he sat down next to her, he undid the next button on his shirt in an effort to cool off. He smiled at Wyn's antics, apparently, volume control went out the window with sobriety.

“Fred!” Wyn said joyously. “Go do your thing.” She urged.

“And what’s that, darling?”

“What’s this about?” Roger said, finally joining them, sweaty and out of breath. He now bore a large smirk, dirty blonde hair mussed as if someone's hands had been pulling at it.

"And you said you were only going to the bathroom," Freddie teased, mouth quirking at the rim of lipstick smudging the perimeter of Roger's lips.

"And so we did." Roger winked, not saying anything else as he skulled his beer thirstily.

Wyn hastily waved him off, “We don't need to know what Roger gets up to in the bathroom, this is about you, Fred! Sing something, go on! Do a Smile one.” She encouraged excitedly.

“Tim, quit on us.” Roger blonde added, following Wyn's track of thought. “We could use a new lead.”

“Oh and this is supposed to be my grand audition, is it? Fine by me.” Fred shrugged and then he began to sing.

“Yesterday my life was in ruin, Now today I know what I'm doing, Gotta feeling I should be doing alright, Doing alright.”

As soon as Freddie opened his mouth, all eyes went to him, and soon two other voices joined his in refrain. The harmony of Freddie, Roger and Brian’s voices were enthralling; they complemented each other so well that they sounded effortlessly easy, big, vital. Wyn couldn’t get enough. She clapped at their impromptu performance and pulled Freddie into a tight hug. Roger and Brian shared a contented look.

“So what do you think?” Freddie had asked, in that moment he looked impossibly younger than his twenty-three years, with his voice uncertain, and face lit with hope. Wyn held Freddie tightly in her arms and his hands gripped at her waist, both afraid to let go of one another.

Brian grinned as he clapped him in the back, “Welcome to Smile, Freddie."

[zoolingual-blog]

RULES.

DISCLAIMER  :  i am not in any way affiliated with any of the fcs i use. thank you. however, i did create danny and her world and i would appreciate it if no one stole anything

ONE      •    THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE.     that means no hate, no bigotry, no jackassness allowed. if i see it on my dash, you will be blocked.  i will reblog callout posts, but only for serious stuff. if i see a callout posts for someone ’ not writing their character right ’ or ’ not being original enough ’ or something like that, it will be ignored. that’s dumb and you need to get over yourself. i myself am a white, lgbt female. i am not perfect, and if i do some shitty things, i expect people to come talk to me about it because in no way do i want to be make people uncomfortable or be ignorant. but i do prefer you come talk to me first, don’t just blast hate about me without trying to work with me first. i am not a hard ass, im actually quite the pushover. and i swear im pretty nice.

TWO     •     I DO NOT FOLLOW DUPLICATES.     this should not be an issue, as danny is an oc and there really should be no duplicates

THREE     •     WE NEED TO DISCUSS FACECALIMS.     there are a certain bunch of fcs i refuse to interact with, mostly because the actor themselves gives me a bad taste in my mouth. if you have a character with one of these fcs, i will not follow. if you wish to change the fc and don’t know who to change it to, come talk to me and i can help you out ! i will gladly point you to alternate fcs. if any of my fcs are / become problematic as well, feel free to tell me so i can change them !! the fcs i will not interact with are RDJ, MARTIAN FREEMAN, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, SCARJO, ELLE FANNING, EDDIE REMAYNE, HAILYEY ATWELL, & JOHNNY DEPP.

FOUR     •     I AM HIGHLY SELECTIVE & MUTUAL ONLY.     basically what this means is that i only follow some people back on my dash, and i will only interact with you if we are mutuals. if we are not mutuals, do not like or reblog anything. i just like to have a clean dash, and if we are not mutuals it makes me very anxious to have to answer questions or make you a starter. just don’t, or i will block you.  i may take a while to follow back though, so if it’s been a few days and i haven’t followed back, don’t worry ! i might be getting to it ! but also don’t ask me about following you back. i have a hard time saying no to people, and then i just feel trash about myself because i didn’t want to follow and i made myself. so please just, don’t ask. but no matter if we are mutuals or not, if you want to come to my ims to talk about something, feel free !

FIVE     •     ALL GRAPHICS ARE MINE.    i save the screencaps and i made the psd from scratch and everything edited is mine. please do not take that from me, it’s incredibly disrespectful and i will block and report you. that being said, if something i use is art and if the art is your art and you want credit / want to have it removed, let me know ! i will gladly add the credit or remove it ! most of the time i just google search shit and random stuff pops up and i don’t know where it’s from, so just let me know ! occasionally i will make gifsets / edits of my muses : please don’t reblog these unless i give permission. i’ll usually put something like that in the tags or something.

SIX     •     I HAVE MY OWN SYSTEM AND WRITING STYLE.     i do memes a certain way and i write my drafts a certain way as well. the only thing you really need to know is that once i reblog a meme, it’s open forever. you could send it to me the day i reblog it or three weeks later - i don’t really care. if i don’t want to answer a meme anymore, i’ll delete it, so anything in the meme tag is fair game. other basic rules apply : if you want to continue an ask meme to a thread, move it to a new thread because if it is on an ask i won’t reblog it. i do prefer small text and icons, but i won’t not interact if you don’t use these.

SEVEN     •     I KINDA ADORE SHIPPING.     this includes platonic, frenemies, romantic partners - if it’s a pairing of any kind im a sucker for it. as for romantic things, danny doesn’t quite know her sexual orientation yet, she kind of just dates who shes wants to date. in regards to shipping, i ship chemistry above all else. i do not write smut, as i am just entirely uncomfortable with it. i may mention some things here and there, but that is it. if you see our muses being together all romantic like, let me know ! cause i may ship it too, and we could have some fun. oh, and i am ship exclusive ( meaning i will only ship with one of a particular character )

EIGHT     •     IF YOU WANNA BE MAINS, ASK ME !     i like having mains, like really like it, so if you want to be mains just let me know ! exclusives are a bit different, as i don’t like to say im exclusive with anyone. it really has to take a strong bond of me to your character portrayal for me to be exclusives. also, if i say you are my main / exclusive, do not feel pressured to add me back ! i do it for my own comfort via the relationships ive built, and it just makes me comfortable. do not feel obligated to do the same in return, you def don’t have to.

NINE     •     I TAG TRIGGERS AS TRIGGER TW.     if you want a trigger tag, tell me so i can tag it ! i try to tag the basics, but sometimes i forget, so if i forget just remind me ! i ask that you tag any vague posts you might post. i have a habit of thinking they are about me no matter what they are about. simply tag anything about it being vague or simply put ’ not about my mutuals ’ if it’s about something else ! spoilers for tv shows / games / etc will be along the same lines tagging wise.

TEN     •     MY ACTIVITY IS SPOTTY AS HELL.     currently, i work a part time job at 30 hours a week, take 18 credit hours of class, and also try to have a social life and sleep on top of all of that. there are some nights where i do not get on tumblr at all. my activity still is all over the place. if this bothers you, please do not follow. i can’t control it, and tumblr doesn’t pay me to rp, so this isn’t my number one item of things i have to keep up with. also, my main blog is @ unastute, not this one. danny is mostly plot based if i’m being honest. drafts are rarely in queue, so if i post a draft, you know i’m on, if even for a moment. i am always on discord & you can reach me in ims at almost any time as well ! if we are mutuals, hmu for my discord !

ELEVEN     •     HI I’M SYD.     i am a white female living in the usa. i am 20. im not entirely sure wtf my sexual orientation is, but if you ask me irl my first answer is usually bi. i have high anxiety, bpd, avpd, and i fluctuate between periods of high empathy and periods of low empathy. i am a sophomore in college, studying marketing and minoring in event management. really though, i’m just a smol child tryin to make it through life in one piece. ask me about my puppo and i will show you the 60 pictures i take each day of him. i also have a youtube channel, but i rarely post videos so if i’m on there i’ll shout it into the void. thanks for reading this long thing, it means a lot. i’m sure i’ll add more as i find more things, but for now, have fun and explore ! remember i love you and you’re amazing !

[unastute]

                   RULES.

DISCLAIMER  :  i do not own new girl or jessica day. i am not in any way affiliated with any of the fcs i use. thank you.

ONE      •    THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE.     that means no hate, no bigotry, no jackassness allowed. if i see it on my dash, you will be blocked.  i will reblog callout posts, but only for serious stuff. if i see a callout posts for someone ’ not writing their character right ’ or ’ not being original enough ’ or something like that, it will be ignored. that’s dumb and you need to get over yourself. i myself am a white, lgbt female. i am not perfect, and if i do some shitty things, i expect people to come talk to me about it because in no way do i want to be make people uncomfortable or be ignorant. but i do prefer you come talk to me first, don’t just blast hate about me without trying to work with me first. i am not a hard ass, im actually quite the pushover. and i swear im pretty nice.

TWO     •     I DO NOT FOLLOW DUPLICATES.     i always feel bad about this rule, but it gives me such high anxiety i don’t know what to do. i love anyone who makes a new girl blog, and we can still be friends if you rp jess too ! just shoot me a message and i’ll give you my discord. but in no way will i be following your blog, for my own mental health.

THREE     •     WE NEED TO DISCUSS FACECALIMS.     there are a certain bunch of fcs i refuse to interact with, mostly because the actor themselves gives me a bad taste in my mouth. if you have a character with one of these fcs, i will not follow. if you wish to change the fc and don’t know who to change it to, come talk to me and i can help you out ! i will gladly point you to alternate fcs. if any of my fcs are / become problematic as well, feel free to tell me so i can change them !! the fcs i will not interact with are RDJ, MARTIAN FREEMAN, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, SCARJO, ELLE FANNING, EDDIE REMAYNE, HAILYEY ATWELL, & JOHNNY DEPP.

FOUR     •     I AM HIGHLY SELECTIVE & MUTUAL ONLY.     basically what this means is that i only follow some people back on my dash, and i will only interact with you if we are mutuals. if we are not mutuals, do not like or reblog anything. i just like to have a clean dash, and if we are not mutuals it makes me very anxious to have to answer questions or make you a starter. just don’t, or i will block you.  i may take a while to follow back though, so if it’s been a few days and i haven’t followed back, don’t worry ! i might be getting to it ! but also don’t ask me about following you back. i have a hard time saying no to people, and then i just feel trash about myself because i didn’t want to follow and i made myself. so please just, don’t ask. but no matter if we are mutuals or not, if you want to come to my ims to talk about something, feel free !

FIVE     •     ALL GRAPHICS ARE MINE.     i save the screencaps and i made the psd from scratch and everything edited is mine. please do not take that from me, it’s incredibly disrespectful and i will block and report you. that being said, if something i use is art and if the art is your art and you want credit / want to have it removed, let me know ! i will gladly add the credit or remove it ! most of the time i just google search shit and random stuff pops up and i don’t know where it’s from, so just let me know ! occasionally i will make gifsets / edits of my muses : please don’t reblog these unless i give permission. i’ll usually put something like that in the tags or something.

SIX     •     I HAVE MY OWN SYSTEM AND WRITING STYLE.     i do memes a certain way and i write my drafts a certain way as well. the only thing you really need to know is that once i reblog a meme, it’s open forever. you could send it to me the day i reblog it or three weeks later - i don’t really care. if i don’t want to answer a meme anymore, i’ll delete it, so anything in the meme tag is fair game. other basic rules apply : if you want to continue an ask meme to a thread, move it to a new thread because if it is on an ask i won’t reblog it. i do prefer small text and icons, but i won’t not interact if you don’t use these.

SEVEN     •     I KINDA ADORE SHIPPING.     this includes platonic, frenemies, romantic partners - if it’s a pairing of any kind im a sucker for it. as for romantic things, i strongly ship nick and jess, and their relationship means a lot to me. but only in a few verses will i have them post season 7, just to keep options open. in regards to shipping, i ship chemistry above all else. i do not write smut, as i am just entirely uncomfortable with it. i may mention some things here and there, but that is it. if you see our muses being together all romantic like, let me know ! cause i may ship it too, and we could have some fun. oh, and i am ship exclusive ( meaning i will only ship with one of a particular character )

EIGHT     •     IF YOU WANNA BE MAINS, ASK ME !     i like having mains, like really like it, so if you want to be mains just let me know ! exclusives are a bit different, as i don’t like to say im exclusive with anyone. it really has to take a strong bond of me to your character portrayal for me to be exclusives. also, if i say you are my main / exclusive, do not feel pressured to add me back ! i do it for my own comfort via the relationships ive built, and it just makes me comfortable. do not feel obligated to do the same in return, you def don’t have to.

NINE     •     I TAG TRIGGERS AS TRIGGER TW.     if you want a trigger tag, tell me so i can tag it ! i try to tag the basics, but sometimes i forget, so if i forget just remind me ! i ask that you tag any vague posts you might post. i have a habit of thinking they are about me no matter what they are about. simply tag anything about it being vague or simply put ’ not about my mutuals ’ if it’s about something else ! spoilers for tv shows / games / etc will be along the same lines tagging wise.

TEN     •     MY ACTIVITY IS SPOTTY AS HELL.     currently, i work a part time job at 30 hours a week, take 18 credit hours of class, and also try to have a social life and sleep on top of all of that. there are some nights where i do not get on tumblr at all. my activity still is all over the place. if this bothers you, please do not follow. i can’t control it, and tumblr doesn’t pay me to rp, so this isn’t my number one item of things i have to keep up with. my drafts are rarely in queue, so if i post a draft, you know i’m on, if even for a moment. i am always on discord & you can reach me in ims at almost any time as well ! if we are mutuals, hmu for my discord !

ELEVEN     •     HI I’M SYD.     i am a white female living in the usa. i am 20. im not entirely sure wtf my sexual orientation is, but if you ask me irl my first answer is usually bi. i have high anxiety, bpd, avpd, and i fluctuate between periods of high empathy and periods of low empathy. i am a sophomore in college, studying marketing and minoring in event management. really though, i’m just a smol child tryin to make it through life in one piece. ask me about my puppo and i will show you the 60 pictures i take each day of him. i also have a youtube channel, but i rarely post videos so if i’m on there i’ll shout it into the void. thanks for reading this long thing, it means a lot. i’m sure i’ll add more as i find more things, but for now, have fun and explore ! remember i love you and you’re amazing !

[thehuggamugcafe]

The ABCs Of Wammy’s House: Prologue.

OOC: Well. Here it is, my dear customers. One of my old writings, just one of the few, very few, that I thought didn’t suck enough. Or one that I thought wouldn’t embarrass the heck out of me, wishing a black hole would suck me into oblivion.

Ahem. As you no doubt noticed, for those who are familiar with this particular anime, yes. For a time, I was hooked on Death Note, and I still find myself watching it occasionally sometimes.

This is merely a collection of OC’s that I thought up, OC’s who live at Wammy’s House, an institution that houses and raises geniuses who are to be “the next L.”

Um, yeah... Please enjoy this blast from the past, I guess? Here’s to you all! Cheers, my dears! ☕

Throughout my childhood and into my teenage years, I had always viewed Wammy’s House as an unknown island, smack-dab in the middle of nowhere somewhere in the raging ocean. Waves lapped at its beach-coloured sandy shore and seagulls cried over the horizon, but it was always whispered in folklore, local gossip, and wives’ tales. A thing of myth, of legend. It existed. It didn’t exist. Unseen and unknown say for those who have walked these halls, for those who will walk the corridors, shimmy up the apple trees in the orchid, teach and tend to the young geniuses, scrap their hands and knees on the playground equipment long after those of my generation are gone.

Or perhaps it was better to think of it as a prison, for that is how the new arrivals surely thought of it as being. I myself viewed it from that perspective the day I arrived. Barely past the age of four, and yet I knew... I knew there was something different, something... special about this institution. I remember grasping the towering bars of the gate on that hot summer day, feeling the sun-burnt metal scalding my hands as I pressed my face against the tiny intervals, watching as children laughed, yelled, ran, and played.

Isolation. Incarceration. Solitary confinement. Come one come all. Come join the secret freak show. That’s how I viewed it as being, and I still do see it as such, to an extent. Metal and cement and concrete and wood and glass. All constructed to resemble an orphanage as close as possible without passing off as intimidating, frightening.

The thought of attending this maddening carnival full of children like myself chilled my blood. A freak surrounded by other freaks, normal and abnormal. It made me wonder who the ring-leader of this grand, obscure-looking building was. At the time, I had wondered what sort of mind a person would have to possess in order to gather intelligent orphans from around the world, from all walks of life, and to put them all together in one largely confined space.

It has to be a mad man. I had thought to myself, my small hands still grasping and pulling at the resilient gate. A delusional genius meant to experiment on all of us, perform inhumane tests, and discard the failed subjects.

I know better now, of course. A child’s mind runs rampant and wild, as everyone knows full well. Through a child’s eyes, the world is full of wonders and an abundant of never-ending curiosity; the child wants to explore, to uncover mysteries, but they are always confronted, scolded, and punished by his or her parents.

Through a child’s eyes, the world is also dark and scary. When twilight’s last light flickers out and the encroaching darkness creeps upon them, they huddle in their room, under the blankets and surrounded by pillows, maybe a few stuffed keepsakes. Most children even cry for their parents at the slightest movement in the claustrophobic blackness of their small, shaded sanctuary, their minds tricking them into believing there’s a monster under the bed, that the boogeyman lurks in the closet, waiting to drag them inside.

Their parents come in and soothe them with soft words dabbled in affection, cradling them and hugging them, stroking their hair and telling them that there’s nothing to be afraid of. To a child, the world is curious and scary. Full of dangerous wonders. Black and white. A neutral grey at times.

For most of us, if not for all of us, our perspective of the world turns a murky grey before it finally shifts to an abysmal black at the loss of loved ones. Someone’s parents die in a car accident, another may lose their family in a fire. Catastrophe. Natural. Unnatural. Murder. Suicide. Accident. My own family... I have no honest recollection of them. No memories of sisters or brothers, aunts or uncles. No birthday parties or holiday festivities.

I have been told that I was born a bastard child, my mother unmarried, living only long enough to give me a name that I no longer remember having. My father raised me until I was two years old, until he could no longer deal with the responsibility of looking after his own flesh and blood, putting a loaded pistol to his mouth one stormy evening as I watched from my crib.

Hardly any of us have any parents, siblings, former friends or relatives anymore. Most of my friends, rivals, and acquaintances lost all those precious, irreplaceable people days before they were plucked from the child welfare nests and placed here. At Wammy’s House. Despite all the mishaps and rare triumphs, the Wammy’s institution was meant to be a place of security, of contemplation, and of acceptance.

We lived in our own time in a sense, for if something occurred on the outside of our quaint prison, it didn’t affect us in any way. It was as though we lived in a different dimension entirely cut off from the world outside, unaffected. Time seemed set at a stand-still. Nothing changed. One daily routine after another, with perhaps some surprises thrown in to make things more bearable, if only for a while.

Adults would call it a childish expression of selfishness to think of it in such a manner, probably. For now I currently have no desire whatsoever to leave the prison I’ve been in since I was three. No desire to go out into the world and see the monsters, the wide-eyed spectators who judge inadequate things, the true terrors that are only known to previous students who have returned with real horror stories.

I have my own toe-curling tall-tales to speak of. Wammy’s has had and still has its own gaggle of monsters and ghouls, of freaks and cruel pranksters. Those who lead and follow, those who judge and watch, and those who plot and scheme. Thieves. Liars. Cheaters. Scapegoats and users. Hardly different from the real world itself, I suppose, but on a smaller scale.  

For an orphanage consisting of geniuses, it was packed full. Each one of us lead ourselves to believe that we were special, chosen, picked out from the rest of our divided pack, and that we alone were liable to achieve our main goal: to surpass our unknown idol, L. I suppose if any of us took the time to look at ourselves internally, we–and everyone else on the planet–have a talent that we’re viewed most excellent at performing. As for myself, I was best at displaying what my best friend, M, deemed as being “inconspicuous behaviour,” almost to the point of being anti-social. Weird, seeing as I have lots of friends and rivals, and twice as many peers and enemies.  

I have been called a ghost. It seems as if I’ve been here forever, ever since the very first orphans stepped through the wide mahogany, brass-handled doors of Wammy’s. Never changing. Like I said: I have no desire at all to leave here. Not now. Maybe I’ll never leave. Leave like the majority of the students do, trot down these halls, out the ever-looming mahogany entrance and out into the world, so bold and confident.

Make a place for themselves. Get a career. Find a love interest. Get married. Have children. Die young or old in their bed with their family and friends at their side.

We’ve all left our marks here, you know. So future generations can see for themselves the blatant messages we leave for them. “We were here. We were like you. We came before you.” Nostalgic nonsense at its finest, but our nonsense can be found everywhere. In the foot marks in the apple trees, in the cracks of water pipes from tinkering with them so a bathroom or two will flood, in the miscellaneous paintings that decorate the art rooms.

Everyone here has their own story. Heck, everyone in the whole wide world has their own beginning, middle, and end. Everyone everywhere has their own purpose too, of course. With constant and consistent sources of knowledge and mentors helping to nurture their talents, they become artists, private investigators, entrepreneurs, culinary experts, dancers, freelance writers. A small fraction of us become the psychotic monsters that make up a slice of the discordant, two-faced kingdom known as society.

Perhaps that is why I do not wish to leave yet. I do not know how I will turn out. If I never leave this place, then I will not be a threat to myself or anyone else. I’m better off fading into obscurity here than shining brightly out in that spacious, beautiful, dark and judgmental world.

But I digress. As I have said before we all have a tale to tell, and we each have our own purpose. My purpose seems to be story-telling to... to whom? Who is my audience? Whoever is reading these notes that I have collected and written over the course of my years spent here, watching and observing... Never speculating openly...

You are my audience. You and whoever else may be with you now. What you do with these notes is of your own choice. Shred them up or burn them–it will not matter to me in the slightest. I imagine you will be one of the many students a generation or two after my own.

Let me start at the beginning... The very first letter each child is taught... A.

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. i decided to stop and read for a while. i finished my drawing goal for the day, but i won’t have the scene ready for tomorrow evening. 

i’m about out of posts for the comic.

maybe i’ll try to finish one more panel before bed... i dunno.

umm anyway i got up this morning kinda late, like 9:30, even though i was awake for a long time beforehand. i was doing something on the computer... i don’t remember what it was. my tumblr activity feed is broken again which is really aggravating, since i can’t see if people liked my comic posts recently unless i check the actual posts. makes it feel more quiet. that’s what i need right now. definitely. silence. a flat “0 notes” line.

i considered putting my halloween story into the writing club’s google drive to see if i could get feedback on it, but raul basically said that the only person who leaves comments on others’ work is me.

i tried talking to one of my acquaintances about his story when he said something about it in a discord channel. he was cagey about it, which is fine of course. he left without asking about my project or progress or anything. i got up and brushed my teeth. i realized it was 11 already so i made an early lunch.

lunch made me super ill and exhausted so i went back to bed for an hour. i putted around on the internet for an hour watching a video while refreshing my tumblr and deviantart pages. nothing came up to comment on. i felt bored and irritated so i started doing homework just to have something to, like, interact with and pass the time. i got caught up on my class notes, which is a relief. i would have done some grading but i saw my comic scene sitting on my desk and realized i couldn’t neglect it for yet another day. i made an oven dinner and watched another video in the meantime and ate miserably trying to get my thoughts in order, and then wrote that other post and then got to work. mbmbam cheered me up a little bit. i finished four panels. six and a half left. i could finish that loose half a panel if i gave it another 10 minutes... 

eventually i started feeling bland and gunky so i put the sketchbook to the side and read a fanfiction for a while. but it feels like... i’m reading it to complete it, you know? like i just want it off my bookmarks bar / to-do checklist. normally i’d be all over the fandom and topic but it’s hard to feel engaged right now. it was like that with my drawing, too. i’m really happy with the paper quality and the way the panels are coming out- something about the pencil work just looks really, really good in a way my other, ancient sketchbook hadn’t been able to hold. i wish i could feel happier about that. or, more consistently happy? i wish the happiness would last longer than the exact amount of time i’m looking at the page? yeah, that.

and the scene itself is even not upsetting, for once. i’m happy while i’m drawing it, but i dunno. something seems to wear off after the first 30 minutes and it’s hard to stick with it. it’s not really artist’s block... i know exactly what i want to be drawing and how to do it. it’s just that i can’t enjoy anything right now and it all feels mushy and gray. 

(kind of like the actual art of the comic, dohohoho)

i did feel less lonely though, getting to work and listening to a podcast and putting together all the trappings of productivity. reading distracted me for a while, even if feeling like this was also distracting me from the reading. 

tomorrow i’ve got an extra em lecture to attend, as review before the midterm. i’m not gonna skip it, but i am just... exhausted. i gotta finish an entire assignment for my other class before wednesday, and the midterm is also on wednesday, and... gaahhhhhhd. i’ve got three missing em assignments, and each of those takes like 6-8 hours. (i’ve got sooz’s help, so it will take less, but the learning still has to get done...) grading has to happen somewhere in there, and finishing the scene, and trying to move this entire comic delay trainwreck back on schedule with my bare hands. 

i don’t even want to talk to anyone anymore at this point. harrison is actively exhausting, i just haven’t really felt a connection with tia or harith or any of the new students... everyone else seems just too hard to reach out to. it’s hard to want to talk to closer friends because i get so caught up in “is this conversation balanced? did i ask about their day? i need to catch up with them first. oh they have something to talk about. it’s way easier to listen to their story about their trip and look at pictures. oh now the conversation’s over i guess.” (or whatever. i’m not talking about anyone specific. i’m not mad or upset or anything. i’m just so tired.)

i’m choking up 200 dollars at my therapist appointment on tuesday, to cover my deductible... at least i’ve got my budget fairly balanced now. i gotta get snoopy to the vet in two weeks which will put a hole in my pocket. and i also need to start actively complaining to my mother’s insurance company about the reimbursement they never gave me despite the doctor’s office filing the paperwork for me. that’ll cover snoopy’s bills. 

everyone at the office seems to think i’m, like, super nice or work hard or whatever. i’m so tired all the time. i did, at least, today, keep my screaming entirely internal. i think the most noise i accidentally made was a strangled groan when i had to get up after sitting in the comfortable chair to too long transcribing class notes. 

but! sitting curled up in the chair like that hurts an entirely different part of my back than sitting at the desk, so it gives my shoulders a chance to rest. 

what i mean is, i didn’t go off at anyone. i got kind of curt with harrison and i said something unnecessarily gloomy to asher but i kept it... restrained, more than usual. i think. just wait for it to go away. no one can help anyway. no one would help. no one would know to help, that i need help, or how to help.

i’m so tired! i’m too tired to do all my stretches every single day! i’m too tired to reframe every bad thought as it comes up! i’m too tired to challenge every single bit of the endless tsunami of negative self talk all day every day! i’m too tired to do the dishes after every meal! or even every day! i’m too tired to go to bed on time every single night and do the breathing exercises and try to force myself asleep. i’m too tired to get up and comfort myself after the scalding nightmares until i can sleep again. 

i’m too tired to do any of the things that would make me have enough energy to do them. and i’m too injured to go for a bike ride and enjoy the cold front that blew through town and lowered the temperature by like 15 degrees. the best i can do is keep my window open and try to ignore the downtown noises. 

maybe i could go stand in the public pool. if i can get myself up early enough. that cheers me up a little bit, sometimes, not always. 

i wish i had someone with me to do those things. but i don’t. and no one’s gonna do them but me. so i gotta also devote energy to being my own cheerleader while i don’t even have the energy to not be my own worst enemy. 

“nothing better to do.” that’s all the motivation i’ve ever had. sometimes it’s enough. but not always. sometimes i’m too tired. gotta lay on the floor and make whiny noises and stare off into space for five hours.

then i gotta pick myself up and get moving again. no one’s gonna pick me up. can’t lay there forever. i don’t like laying there doing nothing. 

[gosatsuvns]

Weekly Update #229 - A Fresh Start Into A New Year

So here we are with the first weekly blog post of 2019! Hopefully, all of you had a great start into the new year and find yourselves brimming with the energy and determination needed to turn it into a very productive and successful one! I for one am certainly feeling motivated as heck to make this a year I can fondly look back on!

Last week, I talked a bit about 2018 and the things we have worked on and accomplished (or not). Today, I want to take a look ahead at 2019 and tell you a little about our plans for the upcoming months. So without further ado, let's jump right into it!

As mentioned before, our main focus for now remains on the completion of the extended GENBA no Kizuna demo.

It's hard to say when exactly we will be able to finish it. There is quite a bit of work left to be done and you have to keep in mind that we're still just two people working on this project. I mean, sure, we have a composer and a proofreader, but literally everything else (writing, coding, GUI, sprites, backgrounds, CGs, etc.) needs to be done by Natsu and me. So it can take a while, especially when you're working a part-time job as well (which is the main reason my VN dev time was significantly reduced throughout December, but I'll get into that a little more further down below).

In any case, since I cannot give you a release date yet, I'm going to give you a list of all the things that still need to be worked on instead. So, what exactly is still missing in terms of assets in order to fully code the second half of the extended demo's content?

Various sprites and sprite variations (Himatsu, Amber, Ryuunosuke, Shiku, Terano)

1 background artwork

2 CGs

Various little art pieces to be used in the DPA

Everything has already been worked on to some degree. The background has been sketched, for instance, and I have started outlining it. One CG is about 40% done. Himatsu already got her base sprite as well as a couple of variations, but will require a few more poses/expressions. The sprites for the suspect characters actually pose the biggest workload. I've started working on those as well, but it's four characters that all need a handful of sprite variations, so it's going to take a while until all of them are done.

Hopefully, we will be able to finish the demo within the first two or three months of the year. Of course, patrons will once again be able to check it out first and help us prepare everything for the subsequent public release. So if you're interested in this project and want to support us, or even help out with bug-testing or by making suggestions, please consider checking out our Patreon!

Not only will you get early access to the first half of the extended demo right away, you can also download the full versions of the BGMs, check out script excerpts or even read special blog posts, the most recent of which is giving you an early peek at the location where SHINRAI's sequel, Withering Without Hope (WWH) is set!

Really, even if it's just the 1$ tier or only for a month, every little bit of support is greatly appreciated! It's only thanks to our current patrons that we were even able to hire a composer and proofreader for GENBA. So seriously, to everyone who's supported us financially in the past or even continues to do so to this day, thank you so much!

But yeah, that's the current situation and the plan for at least the next couple of months. Although, there are actually a few more things outside of the demo itself, which we want to tackle as well. Along with its public release, we are planning to open up a Discord server and launch a Steam page after we've already launched one on itch.io a while ago. Furthermore, I'm planning to make some updates to the website and Patreon as well. All of these may sound like minor things, but will require some preparation time as well.

The good thing is that, once the extended demo is done, development for the rest of the game should go a lot faster and smoother. Because at that point, all the major characters will finally have their sprites with a good amount of variation. And there is a big difference between having to create sprites for 5 different characters from scratch for a single scene... versus just one or two new variations every now and then.

Anyway, that's more or less everything in regards to GENBA. Now for those of you wondering about WWH...

As I have mentioned before, it's not dead and hasn't entirely been put on the back burner, but GENBA's completion certainly takes priority for now. Also, I've been thinking about WWH's development a lot in general. At the current rate and pace, releasing a project of that size with only two people is just taking way too long. So once GENBA is completed, I really want to expand and get more people involved in our projects. Otherwise, it's going to take forever to release all the stories I still have in the back of my mind!

Whether it's going to be self-funded or through the help of Patreon or even Kickstarter, we will see. But in order to get faster at releasing projects and increasing the level of quality as well, there is no other way (even though I really enjoy doing all these things (mostly) by myself, haha).

So yeah, I'm not even sure if there's a point in working on any assets for WWH when I'm likely going to hire someone else to take care of it in the future. So instead, I'll just focus on its writing. This year, I want to focus on writing a lot in general. Once the extended demo is done, I'm going to finish writing the remaining chapters for GENBA no Kizuna. Even if the game itself might not be completed this year, I'm dead set on at least turning all those notes into a fully written story.

I have a lot of personal goals regarding my private life as well, so it's definitely going to be a work-intensive year. One that will require saving up a lot of money, too. It was nice being a full-time dev for so long, and I hope I can go back to that ASAP. But as I mentioned in the beginning, I was working a part-time job last month and I need to continue doing so from here on out. Not just for my private goals, but also for my future projects. Again, as of right now, Patreon allows us to pay our composer and our proofreader, but in order to actually get more people on board in the future, we need to save up even more funds. But I guess I'm not going to get too far ahead of myself just yet. For now, the goals for the immediate future are clear and I'm going to work hard on accomplishing them.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you will stick with us for another year and be a witness to not only GENBA's development, but even our personal growth. Now please enjoy the rest of your weekend and, until next Saturday, take care! :3