#I’ll do the other characters in other parts bc uh. yeah.

[sstvar]

!!volume warning for some of beast’s audio!!

introductions and voice claims for some of the characters of my batim au “Crimson Rites”! all of these guys are available for questions (along with the others i’ve posted before hehe) and I’m more than happy to take some (pspspspspspsps gimmegimmegimme-)

here’s the pics of the character refs from the video for some easier reading

ps. now i’m ACTUALLY off my break I just kinda extended it a little without announcing it sorry lol

reblogs are appreciated as always :)

[pure-smut]

daddy.

featuring: Toji Fushiguro x f!reader

contains: sneaky s*x, doggy, creampie, rough s*x, use of 'daddy' (ofc), unprotected s*x

word count: 1k

note: all characters are aged up to 21+!

MDNI | 18+ content

masterlist

a/n: yay ty for this request! i'll do a separate one for 'mommy' bc that has yuji written all over it lmao enjoy daddy toji!!

@shinysp4rk

You’re at a dinner with your parents in their house with your boyfriend, Toji Fushiguro, so you know you shouldn’t act up. But when Toji’s sitting right next to you and he’s wearing that tight black shirt…

You really can’t help yourself.

You’ve been reaching under the table to squeeze his thigh throughout the starter, reaching slowly up higher and higher until it’s the main course and your hand is practically over his dick.

Toji’s been shooting you warning glances all night, trying hard to make small talk with your parents – not an easy feat for him at the best of times – but you’re relentless. When you reach up a little higher and palm his bulge through his jeans, Toji nearly jumps out of his seat.

He coughs a little too loudly, rising to his feet suddenly and strategically holding his napkin in front of his crotch.

“Uh, excuse me for sec,” Toji says, nodding apologetically to your parents before shooting you an angry look and walking out.

You hear him stomp upstairs to the bathroom.

“Sorry, he’s had a hard day at work,” you say with a shrug. “I’ll go check on him.”

Your parents exchange a look but nod agreeably as you follow Toji upstairs. He’s just coming out of the bathroom when you bump into him, a scowl on his face. Your eyes slide down to the obvious bulge in his jeans, a grin crawling across your lips.

“You didn’t manage to get rid of it?” you tease.

“It’s a process,” Toji growls back. “It’s going down and so help me god if you do anything to bring it back up-”

“I’m sorry,” you interrupt sweetly, sidling up to him to smooth your hand over his large chest. “Have I been bad, daddy?”

Toji’s not a man who’s easily caught off guard – in fact, he’s always one step ahead of you, always knows what you’re about to do before you do it.

But not this time.

Toji’s lips part and you feel him freeze under your touch.

“What did you just call me?” he chokes out.

“Hmm?” You play innocent, running your hand from his chest down his hard stomach, lifting yourself onto your tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Daddy?”

Toji moves like lightning, snatching your wrist and dragging you down the hall. You barely have time to protest before he’s pushing you face first against the wall, his hand curled around the back of your neck to pin you in place. Toji’s other hand makes quick work of your panties, reaching under your dress to pull them roughly down.

He runs his fingers across your folds, testing how wet you are. You squeak in surprise at the feeling and his hand tightens around your neck.

“Stay fucking quiet,” Toji says lowly against the shell of your ear. You can hear the smile in his voice. “Your parents are downstairs, remember?”

You swallow thickly, hearing the muffled conversation between them in the dining room below your feet.

“You that desperate for daddy’s cock, hmm?” Toji continues, keeping his voice just above a deep whisper. “Actin’ up, teasin’ me, like such a needy little slut.”

You nod as much as you can, trapped between Toji’s large hand and the wall.

“Y-Yes, daddy,” you whisper back. “W-Want your cock.”

“Yeah, I can tell, fuck.” Toji smears your slick against your lips, in awe of how wet you are. “We need to be quick, princess, but I’ll give you a nice, long fuck tonight, hmm?”

“Yes, daddy, please.” You push your hips back, seeking him. “Please.”

“That’s a good girl.”

You feel Toji push his thick tip past your lips and brace yourself. He doesn’t usually let you take all of him without some prep first but you don’t have time for it right now. Still, when he pushes himself in, you have to bite your lip hard to keep from squealing out loud.

You stretch to accommodate him quickly, his girth pushing against all the nerves inside you as he fills you with his cock. Toji can feel you tense up so he reaches around under you to start playing with your puffy clit.

“Relax, baby,” he breathes against your ear. “Let me in.”

You exhale a shaky breath and try to force yourself to relax around him, the feel of his deft fingers on your clit making it easier.

Toji starts pump slowly, only going halfway so you don’t make any noise from skin slapping against skin. Even his shallow thrusts are enough for your breathing to turn ragged, his cock dragging along the nerves at your entrance combined with the tight circles he’s making on your clit.

Below you, you can hear the sounds of cutlery clanging against plates and footsteps as someone walks into the kitchen.

“Fuck, princess, daddy’s gotta be quick,” Toji groans in your ear, picking up speed.

You’re squeezing him so tight, your needy little hole massaging his cock in a way that’s making it hard for him to think. He wants to make you cum, wants to hear the desperate little noises you make as he draws orgasm after orgasm out of you, but that’ll need to be for later.

Right now, he’s painfully hard and on the brink of his own euphoria.

“You want daddy’s cum?” Toji’s cock throbs at his own words.

He doesn’t wait for you to respond before he unleashes himself inside you, cock twitching as he spurts thick ropes of cum deep in your dripping pussy. You both stay there for a moment, stifling your heavy breathing, as Toji presses kisses against your shoulder.

“Clean yourself up quickly before your parents notice,” he instructs, before kissing your neck. “And definitely call me that again tonight.”

masterlist

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[earthtooz]

in which: rin feels obligated to buy you gifts on his birthday,

warnings: FLUFF, suggestive at some parts so 16+, reader's gender isn't specified but reader wears dresses, rin's pockets are LOADED, rin and reader are adults, i pray he is in character.

a/n: happy birthday to the man i've dedicated my heart to. no matter how far i stray from you, it seems like it will never forget the beat of your drum. there might be another rin fic coming soon because this one was whipped up so quickly, if term permits, there shall be two rin birfday fics coming out bc he is special 2 me.

“rin, what is all this?” 

sitting atop rin’s coffee table are a variety of gifts, laden with designer names that come in all kinds of packaging- boxes, bags, you name it, they were there. slipping out of your sneakers whilst rin places down your slippers, you’re speechless as you eye the pile of products, deducing that everything on that table combined was probably worth more than you.

turning your attention back to him, you somehow manner to stutter out a ‘happy birthday’ before embracing him tightly. he returns the favour, hugging you closer into his cashmere turtleneck where his subtle cologne fills your senses. in rin’s arm is where you feel most loved, so you cling to his warmth.

“how was your day?” you ask.

“fine, i was just waiting for you to get here.”

“i’m so sorry, hope i didn’t keep you waiting.” 

“no need to apologise,” he shrugs, “i don’t mind.”

stepping out of his embrace, you gesture to all of the designer items atop the table. “so, are those your birthday gifts or something? you got quite a lot of them.”

“uh no,” coughs the dark-haired as he bashfully looks away. “they’re for you.”

you look back at him like he’s grown three heads, eyes wide and mouth agape at his confession. “for- for me? me?”

“because i wanted to get something for you.”

“rin- no, i can’t possibly accept this, it’s your birthday! not mine!” you protest. “i’m supposed to get you something, not the other way around-”

the soccer player squeezes your hips gently as his eyes glisten with self doubt and insecurity; a sight you see often. you saw it on your first date with him, you see it in moments when he tells you he has to postpone a date, and you see it whenever his bedsheets pool around the two of you, hearts and bodies laid bare for the other. these are just few of the many moments you’d see it, but the dulling of his teal orbs as a slight frown pulls at his lips never fails to make your heart clench.

you're certain you know what he’s thinking, and this time he’s questioning whether or not what he’s gifted you is good enough. a preposterous thought for anyone that isn’t itoshi rin, because no matter what, there will always be strings of doubt pulling at his mind, fragile only at your mercy and ready to snap at any second to release a downpour. 

so, you put aside your guilt and grab his hands with yours. “thank you, rin,” you tell him, sincerely and wholeheartedly, “i was just shocked, but it really means a lot that you thought of me.”

“yeah?” light returns to his eyes.

“of course. i love everything about you, always treating me so well.”

he scoffs quietly, taking the cake box and bag from your hands to hide the flush on his face, the excuse of putting your things away for you a mere coverup. after all this time together, it seems like your words still have a spell over him. 

“take a seat on the couch, i’ll be back,” murmurs rin, disappearing into the kitchen. you abide by his command, tiptoeing around the coffee table with a suspicious glance before settling in the comfortable cushions. the athlete returns quickly, this time with two cups of water that he places down on separate tables that isn’t the coffee table.

instinctively, he grabs your legs and perches them atop his lap and you relax right into the way his thumb draws circles on your skin. 

“do- do you expect me to open all of them now?” you ask, slightly hypnotised by- well, everything. the gifts, your boyfriend, his touch on your leg.

“you don’t need to. i realise that there’s a lot,” he says, before reaching over for a certain bag. you momentarily glance at the name, brushing it aside as one you recognise before opening it and delicately pulling out what you discover is a dress. unfolding it, you cannot hold back a gasp over how beautiful it is. it’s in your favourite colour and a design you know to be quite flattering on you, and you're awfully comforted by just how well he knows your tastes.

“it’s so pretty!” you hug it against you, the fabric heavenly soft against your skin. “rin, i love it. so much”

a small smile appears on his lips. “i’m glad. there’s more i want you to open, though.”

he picks out a few more boxes, he scanning the variety before choosing the specific one he wanted. the following gifts consist of shoes and jewellery, and you realise that rin’s practically given you a full outfit. “you should wear this to dinner later,” he suggests innocently, as if this wasn’t all planned. 

although you’re weak to his wish, you continue to pick on him a little more. “you think so? it is quite nice, but i already brought a change of clothes. what a shame, i picked your favourite too.”

“y/n,” rin warns, voice lowering.

“i’m merely joking. anything for you, my love. would you like me to try it on?”

he nods eagerly and you laugh, bright and genuine before reaching forwards to seal a lingering kiss against his lips. you try not to melt into the way his fingers curl desperately around your waist, because from his unforgiving grip alone, you can already predict where the night is going. however, you faux ignorance before dancing away and leaving your boyfriend to sit in anticipation. 

you don’t want to keep him waiting too long, though, lest he barge into the room himself and ruin his own gift.

© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[kxmisato]

♡ AUTUMN — DAN HENG

↳ characters : exbf!dan heng x gn!reader

↳ genre : fluff, like a pinch of angst

↳ synopsis : after receiving a text from your ex-boyfriend’s little sister asking to hang out and accepting, you go over to their house. there’s no way you’d see him again, right?

↳ note : opera house by cigarettes after sex (he is so bf, so autumn time bf, so fall time.)

bailu ♡ (dan heng sis): 

y/n are you busy

i miss you a lot

can we hang out

you:

hi bai

bailu ♡ (dan heng sis):

hi

you:

i miss you too and no i’m not busy, i’m on fall break

idk if we should hang out though,

i don’t want to make dan heng uncomfortable

bailu ♡ (dan heng sis):

who cares about him !!

i’m talking about you and me

not him

he STINKS

you:

LOL

ur so cute bailu

but you shouldn’t say that about ur brother

he cares about you a lot

bailu ♡ (dan heng sis):

ya but

i’m mad at him

bc you guys broke up

you:

we both agreed to break up bailu

we just got busy with midterms

bailu ♡ (dan heng sis):

do you still love him?

you:

dang

right into the deep questions, huh bai?

bailu ♡ (dan heng sis):

IM SORRY Y/N

you:

LMAO

it’s okay dw

yeah i still do love him

bailu ♡ (dan heng sis):

then will you get back together?

pls get back together

i miss you

you:

i would like to get back together but i don’t know if he wants to

i miss you too

bailu ♡ (dan heng sis):

can we please hang out

we can do it when he’s not home

i will text you when he leaves the house

i think he’s going to the library today

okay?

you:

okay bai

but i think you should tell him before i come over

bailu ♡ (dan heng sis):

fine

i will see you soon !!

i’m sooo excoted !!!!

excited* !!!!

you:

me too!!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

though bailu said that she would tell her older brother, she in fact did not. about half an hour after she had sent ‘he’s gone !!! come over FAST !!!’ and made your way over, you heard the front door to the house unlock. 

internally you were hoping it was their mom coming home from work, but a sliver of you also hoped it was dan heng. 

even though your break up was a mutual one, it still stung, bad. the two of you agreed to try and avoid each other on campus, thinking it would make things easier for you but instead it made you feel emptier.

someone who you had talked to everyday for 2 years had become a stranger in the matter of seconds, he was a part of your routine and you were a part of his, the sudden removal of each other made it hard to accept.

which is why you were hoping it was him walking through that door. then when it was, that pinch of excitement you had quickly faded into anxiety as your stomach dropped when his face came into view.

it was the first time you had seen him in 7 months, he looked the same. same blue eyes, same beauty mark on his neck, same brown hair, but a bit shorter, did he get a haircut?

“oh.” is the first thing he said when he seen you. 

oh? really? ‘oh’ is all you’re going to say?

“bailu, you said that you told him that i was coming over?” you turned to the girl.

“o-oh… i did? i must’ve forgotten to ask…” she stumbles out, pink flush creeping it’s way up the back of her neck to her cheeks. “i was going to ask him but he was already in his car when i was going to…”

you sigh, “it’s okay bai, i’m not mad at you. i think i might just leave though.”

“what?! no! please don’t leave, i’ve missed you so much, y/n.” there’s a tremble in bailu’s voice. “please.”

“you can stay,” dan heng interrupts. “i don’t mind.”

“you’re not uncomfortable?” you ask, looking up hesitantly. though you’re exes, you still care and respect him.

“yeah, it’s okay.” he gives you a quick smile. “i’ll just be in my room.”

“oh, uh, okay, thank you.” you sputter, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

“no problem.” he says, and as you turn back around to look at bailu, you hear his feet pad heavily down the hall.

“you can’t do that again bailu, okay? i’ve missed you too, but it’s not fair to dan heng to have me be here without him knowing.”

“okay… i promise i won’t do it again. i just really missed you.” she mumbles.

“i’ve missed you too,” you sigh lightly and then change the subject. “so what movie did you want to watch? i think you’d like the princess diaries.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

during the first half of the movie, bailu was enthralled by it. but once you had been watching for half an hour, bailu let out her first yawn. then five minutes later, she let out another one, and then ten minutes later, she was passed out on her end of the couch.

you looked over and smiled at her sleeping form, then got up and covered her with the throw blanket you were occupying.

you stretched lightly, feeling the need to straighten out after lounging in the same position for a while, then picked up your empty cup of tea on the coffee table and made your way to the kitchen.

everything in the house was the exact same, considering how long you and dan heng have been broken up for, regardless if it’s felt like longer than it has been.

family photos litter the walls, photos of bailu and dan heng when they were babies, wedding photos, and dan heng’s graduation photo. you were in that photo, wearing a matching cap and gown with him and cheesy smiles.

making your way into the kitchen, you rinse your empty cup with water and think about why that picture was still up. 

why didn’t they change it out?

too lost in your thoughts, you didn’t hear dan heng’s footsteps head towards the kitchen until you heard his voice.

“oh. sorry, i’ll just come back later.” he says, and goes to turn around.

“no! sorry, no it’s, um, it’s okay. i was just putting my cup in the sink. besides it’s your house, i’m just a guest in it.” you rush out.

“ah, okay,” he replies, making his way past you and grabs a glass out of one of the upper cabinets. “you know you’re not just a guest, right?”

“what do you mean?” you turn and ask, wanting to look at his eyes but breaking eye contact as soon as his eyes met yours.

“my mom and bailu love you, you’re basically family to them.”

“oh, but aren’t you uncomfortable?” you ask, though you wanted to also know what you were to him. were you family to him too? does he still love you?

“no. i’m not.” he says matter-of-factly.

“really?”

“really.”

“...”

“...”

the silence between the two of you was deafening but oddly, it wasn’t uncomfortable. it almost felt like the two of you had never broken up. like you were just talking in the kitchen during winter break as you had before, and it not being 7 months since the last time you talked.

“...i–” you start.

“can we talk about something?” he interrupts.

“yeah, what is it?” you ask.

dan heng gets up from where he was leaning against the counter, making his way over to the sliding glass doors to the backyard. “do you mind if we talk out here?”

“no, not at all.” you say.

dan heng motions for you to head out first, and you mumble a quick ‘thank you’ as you step out of the doors, with him following close behind you. 

as you walk out, you’re met with the crisp autumn air. the coolness brushes against your cheeks as your eyes settle on the falling leaves of trees in his backyard.

he closes the doors as you sit down in one of the lounge chairs on the deck, then he makes his way over to sit in the one across from yours.

“so…” you play with the hem of your sweater, “what did you want to talk about?” 

does he want to talk about us?

“i.. uh…” he starts. “how have you been?”

how have i been? that’s what he wants to ask?

“i’ve been fine, i guess? what about you?”

“i’ve been,” he clears his throat. “fine too. how were your midterms?”

“they went okay…?” 

this is weird, you think.

“that’s good. i’m glad they went well.”

then the same silence from before is back, but this one is awkward, deafening. it takes up the air of the conversation and feels suffocating.

“so, what did you want to ask me, dan heng? or did you just want to catch up?” you question.

instead of answering your question, dan heng remains silent, his eyes meeting yours and then immediately looking away.

you let out a sigh as you stand up from where you were seated. that slightest bit of hope you held onto for the conversation about your relationship quickly dissipated.

“i think i’m just going to go, it’s getting late anyways and bailu has school tomorrow, right?” you say and walk to the sliding doors. “could you let her know that i paused the movie when she fell asleep? i don’t want her to wake up and get upset thinking that she missed the rest of i–”

“i’ve missed you.” he finally says.

you turn to look at him again, his back is facing towards you and his head is hanging low.

“what…?” you mumble quietly.

“i’ve missed you, and i think that we should try again.”

“really?” you say in disbelief. he had seemed so unbothered when he seen you for the first time earlier today. you had thought that you were the only one affected by seeing each other for the first time in months.

“i’ve been thinking about you non-stop since we broke up. and not being able to talk to you, see you, touch you, was horrible.” he breathes out. “i tried to stop thinking about you, but wherever i go, i get reminded of you.”

you walk back over and stand in front of him. 

“i’ve missed you too. so much.” you admit.

“i’ve wanted to call you so many times, i’ve wanted to see you so badly. see your mom, bailu, you. i missed you so much, dan heng.” you croak out, feeling the sting of tears in your eyes as you try to hold them back.

dan heng stands up, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulls you closer. he rests his head in the crook of your neck, refamiliarizing himself with the smell of your perfume. 

vanilla and cashmere, like always for the fall time he thinks.

when his arms crept around your waist, yours wrapped around his neck and you melted into his warmth again, it contrasting to the cool air of fall.

your hands play with the bottom locks of his hair as he pulls you impossibly tighter against him, afraid that if he lets you go, you’ll never come back.

when you pull back, you study his face again. the same blue eyes, same pouty lips, same beauty mark on his neck. the same dan heng. 

“i like your haircut by the way” you giggle and a light smile spreads across his lips.

“yeah?” he says. 

“yeah, it suits you.”

[callmearcturus]

Mission Impossible: a Crazed Ramble by tentacledwizard

Re my mission impossible ask: gonna share my thoughts bc I just finished watching the series (sans 2 and 3) and boy do I have Thoughts. I think I’ll cover the ones I’m most interested in (Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation, and Fallout) though I might ramble at u about 1 and 7 later lmao. So okay here we go

Ghost Protocol. I REALLY liked this one. This is 2nd on my ranking of MI movies.

This movie has the best team vibes. Might be my favorite iteration of The Team, even if Luther isn’t really there. I just got really emotionally attached to these guys and their interactions lmao..

I liked Brandt. Jeremy Renner didn’t have to do some heavy-duty acting for this role, and he didn’t. His role was to be small and cute and tormented, and it worked. So well that I mumbled “where is my wife” when I watched Fallout, and my brother looked at me strangely. 

Jane Carter holy moly. Dude you were NOT kidding about Jane Carter. I love her so much. I love how she’s not even slightly the love interest, how her and Ethan’s interactions have this respect and camaraderie, and even when they kiss it’s not romantic. It’s great. Loved how she got the dudely “gotta avenge my dead wife” backstory with her boyfriend getting killed, and how that propels her most ruthless actions. I guess I’m pretty much agreeing with everything you’ve said about Jane lmao. SHE’S GREAT. Also loved it when she fought Léa Seydoux, it was pretty cathartic. Let female characters be driven and reckless and (eyes Rose Lalonde pfp) yeah

Benji Dunn the man that you are. Okay I’d say that Benji is at his best in the next movie, but this is a damn good introduction. He’s newly promoted, a little bit out of his depth, and I’m a sucker for funny nerdy sidekicks okay. Gonna talk about him some more when I get to Rogue Nation probably.

Ethan Hunt has the best haircut in this film. Idk man that’s my Ethan Hunt commentary. Oh wait it was also funny when he wore the mustache

I GOT ALL FLUSTERED WHEN LÉA SEYDOUX WAS ON SCREEN. I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS. HOW PECULIAR

Didn’t watch 2 and 3, so the brief glimpse of Julia was very intriguing and bittersweet. Then of course in Fallout she Julias all over the place!

OKAY NOW I CAN TALK ABOUT THE BURJ KHALIFA

I’ve actually seen the Burj Khalifa irl and it is SO TALL (I know, very surprising) so I cannot wrap my head around the fact that this scene was shot on location (??) I need to look into that more.

I am a dork and I do not know much about how stunts and action scenes are calibrated, hence the sheer delight I derived from the way the camera moves in the Burj Khalifa scenes. Also my hands got really sweaty during the first half. (The “blue is glue, red is dead” part reminded me of “hasta lasagna don’t get any on ya” IDK MAN)

I spent the wall-climbing section gazing at the TV rapturously and occasionally mumbling “uh oh,” “Ethan Hunt: Human Gecko” or “the climberrrr” alternately. I literally was not hearing myself because I was watching so intently. My breath was BATED lmao.

And like I’d seen the gif sets, I knew he was gonna jump but I didn’t know when. So when Ethan does jump, it’s so sudden that you can’t help but go :O !! And it works. Anddd that’s my favorite stunt in the film (i am an easily impressed nerd with no technical knowledge but i AM dying on this hill. The Burj jump would impress ANYONE and for good reason)

I am replaying this scene in my head over and over. It’s just. It’s so good. My reaction to it reminded me of when I watched [S] Descend and it just Worked and I was amazed. To say nothing of Cascade lmao. Actually yeah this kind of is Cascade in a sense

I'm sure none of this commentary  is really original, but I really love it when Tom Cruise does a big jump heh. I am a simple man

So yeah this film is easily my 2nd favorite. It’s character-driven, there’s comedy elements, the way the team interacts and collides and argues with each other is wonderful. And I believe in Jane Carter supremacy.  

Oh yeah, Bogdan was funny too. So many good + funny moments here :D

Wait how could I forget the best character (the Russian man who has an enemies-to-friends arc with Ethan)? Love that guy.

OKAY this is too long so Im gonna separate this into 2 parts.

they sent three asks and then I responded, we're gonna use a cut here, LONG POST!!!!!

@tentacledwizard PART 2.

Rogue Nation. This one’s my favorite! I like how it begins not with Ethan but with the Team, because their interactions are good. And of course Ethan’s trying to jump on a plane. Just another Saturday.

I am not very good at talking about plot so let’s talk about Benji Dunn

ok wait first I gotta say that I like how they played with the usual IMF message. The “we ARE the syndicate” got me. Really good moment, and I bet if I rewatched it I’d catch all the little details that made me suspicious of whoever was talking. 

Anyway Benji Dunn.. the man that you are…

Like I said, Benji is at his best in this movie. There’s so many little moments that cement his greatness. He’s gaming on company time! He lies about not being Ethan’s friend on a daily basis :( also the sincere dorky smile he does on his way to the opera is so wonderful. 

I really like how sincere Benji is. He’s genuinely looking forward to the opera, and he’s eager to wear a mask someday, and he cares about Ethan so much. Yeah he’s a funny little British man but he’s also v sweet and you can see why Ethan goes crazy and kidnaps the prime minister to get him back. 

speaking of, I really think that Benji and Ethan’s relationship is… if not the core of the movie, it’s definitely a major part of that core. Does that make sense? Like, I tried to take a picture of the screen every time Ethan and Benji glanced at each other knowingly, and I ended up with a lot of pictures. Even with the 6-month separation (Ethan with a beard is something I never thought I’d see), they know each other. Ethan knows Benji wants to see the opera, and Benji will yell at Ethan when Ethan needs to be yelled at. Ethan compliments Benji’s tuxedo (as he should).

Also ffffuck whenever these guys worry about each other… like when Benji tells Ethan he’s probably going to take it too far one of these days.. Man. The scene where Ethan washes out of the giant torus with Ilsa and Benji goes to talk to him is so good.

oh and yeah Ethan did kidnap the prime minister. For benji. HE DID THAT!!!

Also the scene where Benji is forced to speak for Solomon was honestly incredible, it was like Ethan and Benji were having their own separate conversation with eye contact. When Ethan briefly put his hand on Benji’s shoulder, maybe to reassure him without having to talk, and Benji glances up at him… that’s good stuff right there. When Benji was finally able to talk it was cathartic. God I love these two

Plus the opera fight scene is so fun oh my god.

ok let’s talk about my queen Ilsa Faust

Ilsa Faust is great, and I really like how this series does female characters. Because she has her own shit going on, there’s a bit of romance between her and Ethan but they’re both agents with missions, and she’s never sexualized. I love that. Her signature move is filmed the way a male character would be filmed if he were fighting. That’s awesome.

I really loved Rebecca Ferguson’s performance here, the conflict between saving others and saving herself was neat. It’s also interesting how she has way less reservations about killing people, which plays off Ethan’s… everything. And she never makes it easy for Ethan, which I’d honestly do too if I was involved in the shit she has to deal with. 

But of course there are moments that show she does care about him (asking him to run away, the scene where she saves him in the underwater whirly spinner). The hug was pretty sweet.

Also, Ilsa is when I started really paying attention to the outfits in MI, because all of her looks were great. The yellow dress is iconic, and I REALLY liked the pleated coat she wears when talking to Solomon Lane. Plus the suit she wears in Fallout is Good.

Solomon Lane is a good villain. Jim is the MI villain I think of when I think of MI villains, but Solomon is very distinctive. I mean that voice, man. The VOICE. Lmao. He kind of reminded me of a parasitic worm made human, which is a 100% good thing.

So who has the more distinctive and weird voice? Solomon or Claire? That is the question. (I think it’s Claire tbh. Four am, four in the morning, four o clock)

So this is my favorite MI film. It’s fun, it has a good villain. We see Ethan’s personality start to shine through, too- he’s emotionally driven, as evidenced by when he fucking DOES ALL THAT TO SAVE BENJI GOD I LOVE THESE TWO. So yeah, this is the Ethan and Benji movie to me. It’s also a stellar debut for Ilsa Faust… wait what do you mean she gets fridged in the 7th movie. What do you mean

OH Jeremy Renner is still here! And more Luther! Hell yeah.

really want to rewatch this one so I can take more notes on the stunts and stuff, too

Ok time to make a part 3 because this is ridiculously long

PART 3

Fallout. Oh man. This one messed me up. 

So from the start, Fallout is a darker, queasier watch than the previous two. The more I watched, the more I realized that this movie Is Ethan Hunt’s Nightmare.

Like there’s the straightforward nightmare at the beginning, and then the film just Doesn’t Stop. It keeps messing with our minds again and again. 

This is the Ethan Hunt movie. This is our deep dive into Ethan Hunt’s mind, and at some points it kind of feels like a test of how well we know him- because he wouldn’t kill all those people, so this must be another nightmare, right? 

I am used to vivid nightmares, and this film perfectly captures the sheer horror of having one. And I was constantly doubting my own perception, bouncing between bad dream and reality along with Ethan. Man.

Like Mission Impossible has always kind of had that element, what with the masks and everything, but this film dials it up to eleven. I recognized the horror of Ethan’s situation here, and it was a feeling that stayed with me the entire time.

I mean at some points, it gets surreal. The line about Ethan literally being his own worst enemy (it’s true!), his wife showing up in little glimpses until she finally appears, Lane pinpointing Ethan’s fears, etc. When Ethan looks around at the church and says he’s terribly sorry, it’s such a small moment but it’s still kind of a gut punch. Ethan Hunt is trapped in his brain and so are we.

Even the title sequence shows everything burning around Ethan. The full theme song sounds like it’s going to end, but then it keeps going. This movie feels way more apocalyptic than any of the others.

Even Max is dead. I mean come on.

And we see how this screws up Ethan’s judgment, how his priorities are a little fucked in the grand scheme of things. He puts a few people over millions, for better or for worse.

Ethan Hunt running is an iconic part of the franchise, but what happens when all the messed-up stuff he went through catches up with him? What about the fallout?

So when the ending rolls around, it feels like Ethan is waking up, and that lends it a certain catharsis. But the uneasiness of most of the movie still stuck with me for a long time afterward.

Okay let’s talk about the new characters.

Alanna was neat, and I liked her outfits too. Though every time she flirted with Ethan, I had this vivid mental image of Ethan driving up and yelling “I fucked your mom, shit lips!” Probably something he’d say to Zola instead though.

Walker was such an asshole and that was kind of great actually. Not a single redeeming quality to be found. Have fun falling off that cliff, johnny boy.

Oh yeah and he got to say the only “fuck” in the entire series I believe. (It should have been Ethan. Well I can always hope.)

That conversation Ethan and Benji have about how Ethan won’t let anything happen to him, but then later Ethan does something that seems to put Benji in danger (making him be Solomon Lane)? Chef’s kiss. Also Benji FINALLY got to wear the mask, and he’s damn good at it.

More of Ilsa and Ethan’s relationship and man is it complicated haha. I like the scene where they’re walking through a symmetrical landscape, just paralleling each other, until finally they’re face to face. That’s good stuff right there. Also the scene where he’s in the hospital bed was sweet.

My wife [Brandt] is not here but luckily we get a lot of Luther. Luther is the constant in this series- he’s stuck with Ethan from the beginning, for better or for worse. (Better, because he’s a good character). So Luther really cares about Ethan, evidenced by his conversation with Ilsa. He probably knows Ethan better than anyone, except maybe Julia but then again she and Ethan have been apart for a while. 

Julia was great. The scenes with her and Ethan were v bittersweet. They still care about each other (just look at Ethan’s constant guilt over not protecting her), but she’s living her own life now. The conversation they had near the end was the culmination of all this, the moment we were waiting for. Plus I enjoyed her friendship with Luther, like I enjoyed Ilsa and Benji’s friendship. The scene where they’re cutting the wires/talking about Ethan was cute.

as for the stunts, hmm… I didn't really get the level of physicality I got from, say, MI1 or Ghost Protocol. Idk man maybe I’m just biased against helicopters?

ALSO I really like Face/Off and Hit Man so the John Lark thing was p cool to me. Ofc John was the asshole CIA agent though.

Anyway good movie, might take some time before I can rewatch it but it’s a masterful delve into Ethan Hunt’s mind. Not my favorite but also really really good and I wrote the most about it.

Conclusion. Wow that’s a lot of thoughts. Probably too many to put in one ask. Uh I kind of also want to talk about MI1 and Dead Reckoning as an echo of MI1 but this was a lot so idk if you’d want me to do that lmao. Anyway I have to thank you for convincing me to watch Mission Impossible all those months ago, because it is one of my obsessions now. (If you read all this I am sorry lmao, hope it wasn’t boring tho) 

And now I can finally read your Benthan fic! 8D hell yeah.

okay now it is my turn to reply

I frankly adore Brandt. I've joked to Brandt that I don't really ship Benthan, I just use it as a vehicle to write William Brandt and have him tell jokes. I adore his angry little bureaucratic ass. I am actually a fan of Renner when the material gives him actual shit he can do. Like, he was fucking WASTED in the MCU and the "Hawkeye" miniseries proves he could have been having fun this entire fucking time but they never GAVE him anything. And even if his role in MI is simple, McQuarrie is so damn good at writing characters that Brandt feels vibrant. In GP he goes from sad sweater boy to lowkey the weakest link of the team but everyone is there to help him. And in RN there's a THOUSAND lil moments I love with him. I always point to Benji's interrogation scene, there's a VERY VERY PRECISE bit of editing where Benji is going off on a tirade about how the CIA sucks, and the camera lingers on Brandt LITERALLY JUST LONG ENOUGH for Renner's mouth to make this tiny microexpression, like TWO FRAMES of Brandt indulging in admiring Benji's lie-craft.

Also the argument in the bigass car with Luther was Renner improvising according to McQ. Love it. Brandt's my angry little pencil-pushing angel. Any time he shows up in the PT AU, I'm 😍😍😍

GP lives and dies on the team dynamic tbh, which I find hilarious bc imo MI3 was pronounced dead on arrival bc the team dynamic is non-existent and like, why am I even here???? the chemistry is truly batshit.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE ALL THE TRULY MIND-BOGGLING FACTS BEHIND THE BURJ CLIMB AND HOW TERRIFYINGLY PRACTICAL IT WAS check out this post

Also Ethan's gorgeous LEAP at the end of the sequence is my second-fave Physicality Moment in that movie. The first is of course Ethan's silent vault over the railing after he leaves his prison cell. I'm a slut.

and I bet if I rewatched it I’d catch all the little details that made me suspicious of whoever was talking.

oh you want a fun one? in the record shop, there are two listening booths. ethan goes into the one on the left.

Solomon Lane is sitting in the one on the right.

re: Benji in Rogue Nation, I mean McQuarrie himself has said Simon Pegg as Benji Dunn is the beating heart and soul of the Mission franchise. so don't worry, we ALL stan.

ILSA FUCKING FAUST. /fans face. Yeah, the way MI handles women is like… I don't know how to go back to, like, James Bond films. I keep remembering Skyfall (which I remember as a good movie) and how one of the ~bond girls~ is casually executed and the whole point is how unfazed everyone is, how DISPOSABLE she is, how James Bond as a franchise wants backpats for pointing out "man it sure sucks how disposable women are in these spy flicks huh"

smash cut to Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation, Fallout, and ESPECIALLY Dead Reckoning.

I keep saying this but MI manages to pull off the Metal Gear thing in that the Male Gaze of the camera is thoroughly bisexual. Long before we see Ilsa's amazing leg shot at the opera, we get a long lingering shot of Ethan's tiddies, and the way he's held captive is very female-coded, the position, the way he tries to wile his way out of it, the barefoot thing, all of it. There's such intense intentionality with how MI frames bodies.

Hell, I've been flicking between MI and the X-Men AU movies and comparing Ilsa to Mystique is super interesting because both of them fight with their legs-first. But the choreography of Mystique always has this "heh heh heh naked legg" feeling, while with Ilsa, her fighting style is so consistent, it feels like a natural result of her build and how she utilizes momentum. I remember there's a fast moment in Fallout where she very casually assists Ethan by taking out a guard as he extracts Alanna, and she does her leg flip thing. It feels Correct for her, rather than the MCU "make sure you fight pretty" bullshit.

Anyway I love Ilsa but Benji is actually the Love Interest in RN and we all know it.

"wait what do you mean she gets fridged in the 7th movie" SHE DOES NOT GET FRIDGED i am gonna die on this fucking hill, that Ilsa's death was good and actually meant something

Anyway I cosign all your thoughts on Fallout. I think it's the best movie and frankly I think it's a cinematic masterpiece. The claustrophobia of it, the nightmare of being Ethan Hunt, the repeated use of dreamlike imagery to convey that we're falling further into that nightmare with him, AND THE ENDING. I find the ending so bittersweet because yes, Ethan and the team pull it off, they push at the edges of possibility and reason until the universe yields and gives them the win

but then Julia says "I know you'll always be there" and its like watching a door slam in Ethan's face. He's always going to be in this dream/nightmare, a world that exists one layer removed from reality, and he can't get out. It's amazing. I want to kiss McQ on the mouth.

That Ilsa-Ethan scene was not in the original script and TC suggested it day-of and they just did it and its one of the most beautiful shots of the movie, with the green trees melding with the slight green tones of Ilsa's outfit and with Ethan's eyes. The fact they have an entire conversation between Ethan and Ilsa's eyebrows. I love them.

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Paranormal Investigator

Mike Schmidt x Reader

hey y’all I’m kinda nervy wervy about this bc I haven’t written since 2018, but I just love mikes character soooo much in the movie, n josh hutcherson got be barking like a dog. after watching the movie I had this thought that I just had to get out of my brain. so give me grace on any oddities or mistakes and lemme know what to improve kiss kiss hope you enjoy

Summary: you get caught breaking into Freddy’s by the night guard as he cleans up the mess from the last break in, you both come up with a deal where you can get spooky footage of Freddy’s, while Mike monitors and attempts to contact Garrett.

Warnings: no Vanessa (love her but can’t fit er in), movie spoilers, female reader, doesn’t follow movie plot, written on mobile yikes, and also I have no idea where to go with it could be a one/two part thing or more. Possible illusions to sex, and mature themes.

———

———

“So you’re telling me, you expected to be breaking in with people who are tryna get me fired? Uh- I’m sorry, how am I supposed to believe you?” The security said absentmindedly sweeping shattered glass. Yes, you had misunderstood the instructions you overheard at Sparkys. You thought the group would break in at night, before the security’s shift, not the morning after the security shift.

“Uh, well the glass on the floor would be a good indication I’m telling the truth.” The security gave you a tired look pausing his sweeping. “I meant about my aunt… uh, anyways, look I have my sister here, I’ve got work to do, you can’t be running around like a crazy person.”

“Oh. Your sister’s your coworker?”

“No, uh, just, I’ve got a lot on my plate for tonight, I won’t contact the cops if you just get out.” He stuttered, words fumbling out of his mouth quickly. The guard found himself battling between confidence and embarrassment, he couldn’t get a clear glimpse of you yet in the dim light but he already knew from what he could see of you that he’d surely be head over heels and make himself look a fool.

“Please? Just let me take a look around, I’ll help you clean this mess, and after you can go off back to work while I do a quick scan of the place. I promise I’ll be out of your hair. I just want some footage.” You begged snapping him out of his thoughts, your eyes bright, glossy and blinking hopefully at him.

Sighing, he rubbed his free hand down his face, eyes panning around the room. Glass still shattered everywhere, things scattered, tables turned, if he wanted to get back to his dream he’d need to be quick with cleaning. “Fine, you’ll help me clean then you’ll do your thing and leave, yeah?” With a single confident nod from you it was decided.

The main area was cleaned fairly quickly, small talk here and there, learning his name was Mike and Abby, his little sister, had to come with him because his babysitter never got back to him. Now in the kitchen Mike looked over to you as you picked up empty scattered pizza boxes. “What exactly are you recording for?”

Standing with empty boxes in hand you looked at Mike and for a minute or so you both simply looked at each other. “Well, I’m kinda into the ghostly stuff, and y’know about the murders.” Mike's brow perked curiously at that, muttering the word ‘murders’ back to himself. “What happened?”

You shrugged, leaning against the metal kitchen counter watching as Mikes eyes followed your every move intensely. “Kids disappeared, cops never found them and it was ruled as a homicide, soon after there were complaints about a rotting smell coming from the animatronics. Public opinion, or rather, the rumour is the kids' corpses are in the suits, and they haunt the joint now.”

Mike opened his mouth to respond but before he could a child’s shriek rang through the pizzaria echoing off the walls. He quickly perked up, fear evident on his face, and within seconds he was shouting his sister's name while sprinting off.

You pulled yourself away from the counter as fast as you could and followed Mike in a panic. You caught up to Mike in the main area stopping your footing just a few steps behind him. The two of you stared astonished for a moment at the animatronics surrounding Abby. Freddy stepped away first, walking menacingly towards the two adults. Thinking fast Mike grabbed a chair in defence, while Freddy’s figure shadowing over both Mike and yourself. Thankfully Abby giggled and skipping her way over to Freddy, Mike and you. “They where tickling me so much, I could barely breathe! Mike this is Freddy, my friend! Freddy this is my brother, Mike!”

Mike looked amazed at his sister, the eased demeanour, the smile on her face, she hadn’t looked like this at home in years but in front of seven foot sentient animatronics, she is? Freddy sized up Mike who still held the chair in front of him, you huddled safely behind him..

“What the hells happening?” You asked wide eyed looking around Mike’s shoulder at his face Mike's mouth pulled tightly and released; a mouth shrug in response. Turning slightly to each side he put down the chair and shouted: “This better be a prank, right, there being controlled somewhere in the back? Okay! You got us, you can come out now!” After moments of silence, it was evident nobody was coming. “Okay, Abby let’s go we’re leaving.” Mike rushed, waving Abby forward towards him, and away from the machines.

The animatronics all just stood there, watching as Abby whined to stay, explaining what they liked, as well as how fun they were. To show the two how much they like drawings she scribbled up a heart picture for Bonnie, watching as the bunny took it passively. Neither Mike, nor YN we’re having anything to do with the animatronics though, and luckily it took no longer. Abby waved, and said her goodbye as Mike grabbed both her hand and yours and dragged the two of you off to the exit.

Once outside, you and Abby stood at his car while he ran back in to grab Abby’s things. “What’s your name again?” Abby questioned out of the blue, rocking back and forth on her heels and toes. “YN, I was here for a recording when I met Mike.” YN explained, half there half rethinking what happened. “Like a movie?”

You nodded but couldn’t elaborate as Mike interrupted, stepping beside the two of you. “Okay Abs it’s best if we get home and get you tucked in, YN, will you be, uh, okay?” Mike looked around nervously, he seemed suddenly embarrassed again, this time you could tell.

Scanning the parking lot Mike took note of his car being the only one in the parking lot. “Do you drive?” He asked, now it was your turn to be embarrassed and you shrunk slightly at the question, making Abby to giggle. Mike quickly hushed her and asked her to put her stuff in the trunk and buckle herself in while the two spoke. “No, I take the bus with my bike, then I bike it the rest of the way.” Mike nodded biting the inside of his cheek, he was prone to stupidity at times making quick decisions but this was probably gonna take the cake.

“Listen, if you watch Abby tonight, babysit, i-I’ll give you free range in the pizzaria for a few hours. To record. Of course. And drive you there and back…” YN’s eyebrows shot up, suddenly thinking of every possible outcome being able to catch these animatronics walking without technical reasoning could really kick start something for her. Meanwhile Mike was anxious to get back as fast as possible to dream again, although he felt slightly selfish for leaving his sister with a stranger. Mike eyed the woman again, watching as she processing things in her own mind. She seemed too pretty, to be criminal, maybe Mike had finally lost it.

“You got yourself a deal, boss.” You smirked, voice scaring Mike out of his mind. He quickly nodded, smiling slightly eyes darting back and forth between the concrete and you. The two hopped into the car after attaching your bike to the back. “Abby, YN is gonna watch you tonight, at home. Okay? I gotta get back to work.” Abby awed, whined, and crossed her arms, pulling the biggest most childish scowl she could muster. You just smiled at her antics while Mike pulled out of the parking lot, and down the road.

[beepsparks]

Day something of being full of joy and whimsy and creativity until THE EMBARRASSMENT hits me like a truck

(uh idk this is a little ventish?? Is that the right word?? It’s just me ranting about not wanting to come off as weird but I do kinda want someone to confirm to me I’m not weird 😭)

So like lately I’ve really only had interp ideas for the Lie Swatter host (already done), Dandelion (actively in the works), Master Mentalist (also actively in the works) and sort of Toby (but I need good ideas) and the thing is that they’re all hosts of games I don’t really care for but I think I know WHY I am keen on making interps of them and I am like 90% sure it’s because I really like Phil Ridarelli’s voicework so I’m really inspired to make interps for hosts he voices but also I FEEL EMBARRASSED BECAUSE OF IT

This is probably not the first time I’ve felt like I was weird or embarrassed because I find someone who helps make something I like cool and inspiring but it KEEPS HAPPENING and it’s starting to annoy me the amount of times I’ll just be appreciating a character or something and then I’ll feel weird because part of the reason is literally just because they’re voiced/created/written by someone I find inspiration for art in (or I just think they’re cool)

idk WHY it’s even a problem anymore because im half-sure this is literally a normal thing, like you see ALL THE TIME people watch movies just because an actor they like is in it, tbh I think I might feel weird or embarrassed because people I find inspiring aren’t like. Celebrities and shit and instead just people that help work on things I like/make music I like, so they aren’t well known to people. I dunno if even THATS the reason

Also I think a major thing playing into me feeling embarrassed or like I’m weird with this specifically is the fact Schmitty makes me sleepy, like the second I remember he’s voiced by an actual person I don’t know irl I feel insanely embarrassed and weird even if it’s Schmitty’s CHARACTER that probably makes me comforted and sleepy. Wah

Oh and normally people make interps for hosts they LIKE because of their actual character, instead I’m currently making a Dandelion interp fully aware it’s like 90% because I think his voice actor is cool and somehow inspires me to make art, like. I don’t care for Dandelion’s actual character much if not at all and SAME GOES FOR TOBY (The Lie Swatter host I made bc I thought the idea of an anthropomorphic fly was cool so he doesn’t count)

idk man. I’m probably just way too paranoid of being seen as a “weird fan” of a real person when really all I’m doing is just making art and designs for characters Phil voices because I’m inspired to do so (and on occasion looking at clips of shows he appears in because I guess I just think he’s cool or something WAH idk man. I like his work, he’s so talented and that’s cool but I don’t even think I can say any praise without feeling embarrassed and weird and I wanna STOP feeling embarrassed and like I’m weird, like I literally just felt embarrassed NOW typing that. Good lord. Can someone just confirm for me or something if I’m weird or not?? If I am being a “weird fan” of some kind you can tell me, be honest, please. Anyway I’m gonna watch a movie I find comforting right now to get my mind off this but yeah it’s been bugging me for awhile and I kinda wanna say it so I can get others opinions, idk.)

[bastillia]

Need your thoughts on the Mando finale! The biggest plot twist for me honestly was Mando’s first name….apparently not being Din? Other than that the lack of a Boba cameo and face reveal broke my heart.

Yeah, I’d say that was probably the biggest plot twist for me too, mostly because there uh. wasn’t much else in the way of twists 😭 I guess “Din” is more like a title? Something that designates him as a foundling? Anyways yeah definitely a surprise there!

I’ll start with what I liked: the directing. Super visually interesting finale despite the lack of narrative substance, Rick Famuyiwa is goated. The aerial battle between the mandos and the troopers was by far my favorite part.

Everything else about the episode was mid at best and flat out bad at worst in my opinion. The dialogue felt stiff and unnatural as usual. My least favorite part was that Moff Gideon got completely shafted. Total fucking waste of a character. I mean HOW do you go from season 1 Gideon to THAT. Looney tunes ass villain. Combined with the lack of stakes throughout the season there was just no shot at me taking him seriously any more. He even had beskar power armor on and I was not afraid of his corny ass at all. This is no discredit to Giancarlo Esposito’s acting btw. It’s 100% the fault of lazy writing.

I honestly don’t have much to say about the rest of the episode. It was like the narrative equivalent of pushing rope. I guess I wasn’t necessarily disappointed per se by the lack of payoff at the end, bc there wasn’t much of anything to pay off. The villain made a villain speech and then “died” villainously. The heroes said hero things and then survived heroically. Little tension beats set up throughout the season never came back to haunt us. We got a feel good moment with Mando and Groguito at the end. There was a Dave Filoni cameo. We did it. We won the Star War. All is well

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 15

In which Mary Shelley makes a snide commentary on the popular literature in Europe at her time. Reading is morally corrupting, yo!

“my beloved cottagers” – Stalker’s greetings!

“learned to admire their virtues” – what, like zero respect of other cultures than their own, doing good only in expectancy of a reward, and throwing away not only the own family’s life and social standing, but that of an oh-so-beloved fiancée, too? Values, amirite?

Ok, Paradise Lost may be apt reading material for the situation, but adding in Werther sure explains why the creature is just as prone to self-pitying whininess as his dad, despite not having been raised by him.

Unrelated, someone should tell the Creature that, in many regards, Plutarch was a goddamn hack.

“I thought Werter [sic] himself a more divine being than I had ever beheld or imagined” – uh, Werther was a whiny, self-absorbed emo. Can you guys stop glorifying this character type already? Even Goethe didn’t like him in the long run!

Props to Shelley though for reflecting on how literature influences someone who has zero context or additional info for what is presented to them. Like Victor with his “ancient science”, the Creature just takes this stuff at face value, and mistakes literacy craftsmanship for objective superiority.

Would have been nice to ever learn how on earth the Creature began to read in the first place. Was that part of Felix’ lessons for Safie?

…how was he carrying around Victor’s make-an-abomination journal for months and only discovered it now? How fucking convenient that he didn’t use it as fire kindler in the meantime.

The Creature describing himself as “more horrid even from the very resemblance” to humans is an interesting early description of the Uncanny Valley: The problem isn’t that he’s so very obviously not human, it’s that it’s obvious he was supposed to be human, and Victor didn’t hit the sweet spot.

“Satan had his companions, fellow-devils, to admire and encourage him” – what, like the daughter he impregnated? Come on, Paradise Lost makes it pretty obvious that guy is full of shit. Can we not set up literal Satan as a role model?

o.O Where did the new servants come from? I mean, Safie brought money and jewelry, but like, can they not use it up for fucking servants so they don’t have to use their own poor hands? Dumbasses.

“the poor that stopped at their door were never driven away” – How does this family function, financially? I’ll chalk it up to some DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 11

Just bc these people have no sense for scale, and it irks me.

“no Eve soothed my sorrows” – there’s a subplot tapping at my chamber door…

And there’s the clusterfuck of the Creature introducing himself to De Lacey senior. Oh, boy, this entire situation is so creepy. “Yeah, I know everything about you guys :)) Uh, I mean, these friends guys of mine. Whom I love dearly, but have never spoken to.” Fun times!

“Are you French?” …huh. Isn’t Victor Swiss/Italian? Well, anyway, they are fancy people, they probably speak three languages at once. Except German; that’s for barbarians.

Ok, seriously, what did he think how this was gonna turn out? *siiiigh* Yeah, I know, zero social graces. But going in there to hang out with the single most helpless member of the family when the rest of them are absent? Kid…

[roseandgold137]

For the fandom meme:

F, G, I, N, O, P, Q, R

👀👀👀👀👀👀

F- (edit bc I accidentally deleted this at some point and didn’t notice) Percy Jackson was probably my longest fandom bc I got into it young and I still engage with it pretty regularly. I’m definitely going to buy the sun and the star and I’ve read all the spin off series as well so I’m pretty confident saying that’s my longest fandom. My fav spin off was Magnus Chase

G- okay so as a kid I had like a lot of casual ships but first OTP was probably Percabeth. I submitted a fanfiction of them for a school assignment when I was nine. I think that’s all we really need to hear to know that they’re the answer.

I- I don’t think so? Like. I’ll come back to this if I remember any but I’m pretty sure we’re good on this one

N- okay fandom: dc

I know that in my circle of dc fan logs there’s a lot of Timber content but the wider community seems to still be mostly hung up on TimKon. And I get it, they’d be really cute and all but Timber

More Teen Titans (fab five) bc I think mostly when people talk about the teen titans they’re usually talking abt the cartoon series

put some respect on the names of female characters! And the queer characters! And the poc characters! So many problems in my life could be solved if people weren’t so fixated on the straight white males of the franchise

O- Song is Bubble Pop Electric by Gwen Stefani, it is very Birdflash or really any speedster ship to me, very nice bouncy beat reminds me of Bart also

P- AU: Canary Tim - I’ll elaborate on this bc it is one of my aus and is kind of the reason that some of my second gen bat ocs exist so it’s kind of relevant.

First Black Canary - Dinah Drake. Married Larry Lance, daughter was Dinah Lance, who became the next Black Canary. Do you see where I’m going with this. Tim Drake. Dinah Drake. There’s a very weak connection there technically so I just made Dinah his aunt. Based off of Dinah Drake and Dinah Lance, we can assume the canary meta gene is hereditary, ergo we’ll just send it Tim’s way as well.

He won’t have his activated until his late teens though bc I want him to have atrocious voice control for a good while so he gets shipped off to train with Black Canary until he won’t accidentally deafen everyone around him.

From there, he’ll graduate Robin to become some kind of Songbird. It was originally going to be Galah (bc pink) but I changed it to Blackbird so his kids could call him B and it would be very emotional for Bruce to watch history repeat itself with the nickname and whatnot. Also this way tim gets to keep his red black and gold colour scheme.

that’s the au part but the part where my oc Jasper couldn’t really exist outside of this au is bc he’s a meta with a voice ability, that’s similar to the Canary meta gene but he’s not related to any of them. He’s Australian so he travels to America to look for Black Canary. He can’t find her, he keeps on missing her by like a handful of minutes or hours, but he does find Tim, and at this point he’s fed up of looking for Dinah and settles for the 19-year-old Blackbird in front of him. Tim, who only really got control of his powers around two weeks ago, chooses not to mention his inexperience and accepts that he’s a dad now

okay wow I didn’t expect to ramble that much but yeah that’s basically the au

Q- hate to say it but I don’t really ship stephCass. I used to, but I hc Cass as older by a bit too much for me to comfortable shipping them in my own au yknow? I wouldn’t say I’ve abandoned them completely though, but the only other ships I really could have put here were ones where I saw art of them, thought it looked sort of cute and then found out they were pro ship, so uh

anyways I think they are cute and would absolutely celebrate if they were made canon but it’s not really for me is all

R- hmmmm. Well I’ll start off with one that I think very few people ship. Steph and Bailey, who has one appearance in the Robin/Spoiler Annual. And I know I’m not the only one bc I’m pretty sure it was @aliteralchicken’s blog where I saw them for the first time, if not whoops

I also have a lot of Janet Drake ships bc I love her and given that most people do not love her I think it’s safe to say that Janet x Selina, Janet x Talia and Janet x Dana aren’t exactly popular ships

I’m trying to think of an m/m ship bc sapphic ships are hard to come by anyways, I’m thinking Bart x Preston but that’s mostly bc I haven’t really been looking for content of them so that would make them seem like a rare pair

oh also Darla Aquista/Laura Fell and Ariana Dzerchenko. Idk I think they’d be cute, and Ariana could really only upgrade from Tim let’s be honest

[guidingthulite]

Lemme preface my uh… preface? With the fact that I had to put my response to your response in a Google Doc because I wrote Too Damn Much for the ask box LMAO. And I wish I could provide such delightfully long comments and commentary for what’s to come, but I don’t know how often I’ll have the time or energy to do so, so I hope that this is enough for the future moments when I’m unable to :,D I was struggling w/ adding the link, so I hope you can copy and paste all of this, but remove the gap between the https and the rest :D https:// docs.google.com/document/d/1wx9Cp3cMcMTcxa3XuWqkjTv-_olb5fTmCl6E9kMJCB4/edit?usp=sharing And oh! Thank you for your discretion :D!! I appreciate it. I probably should have specified that I would have been chill w/ it, but that’s on me XD. You’re welcome to publish this too, btw!!! I don’t mind. Your followers would probably have zero context, so it’s coolio B)

awww, it's okay! i am just so darn glad you did decide to react to my stuff <3 made me so happy! hehe

LINKS ON TUMBLR ASKBOXES ARE HELL UGH I UNDERSTAND YOU

and do not worry bud! my followers seeing this like. alma what are you talking about. what's this from jregbre

"I've been rereading your response HASHDKJASHD. It makes me ecstatic and kick my feet from happiness!!"

I LOVE HOW TWO-WAY THIS IS LIKE. i am happy you like my stuff, and you're happy that i'm happy you like my stuff-

"I don't know how I'd survive my family seeing a future partner and going, "Yeah, I can see how similar he is to [Insert A Character That I Like Here]," BAHAHAHA"

that is a fear i also share... my brother specially since he's the first one to ever know about characters i like. he's usually annoyed bc i ramble a lot but when i get a partner it's gonna be like

(pictured: us when he finds out i went out to date a person similar to the characters i ship w/ the charas i relate to)

"The way you write Saki makes it easy for me to resonate with her :D!! We're like kindred spirits in this fic XD"

we could say she's... resonating with you? eh? eh? okay, i'll see myself out... i think not many people exploit saki's potential bastardness... the ones that comes with being a little sibling. i have not met a single little sibling who isn't at least A BIT of a bastard

"He WOULD be so unchivalrous if he were to let his pre-pre-engagement partner be undignified in front of his future in-law!!"

meanwhile he's almost eating his cereal face into the bowl but saki thinks it's funny so it's all wins!

"Yes!!! I couldn't help but giggle extensively from this fic because it's too damn cute!! You really do put the FLUFF into fluff."

D'AWWW... THANK YOU!!! i try to make things that bring out good feelings. you know, like laughter and... fluff responses? i think? i genuinely can't write hurt/no comfort. there's gotta be comfort. i make tsukasa trip and akito spawns in his room to give him a kiss on the forehead

"Ayo..? This isn't a part of my response, but I'm listening to my audio as I read your live blog to respond, and Nene's in... the library..? Where Touya works 👀??"

toyan*ne might not be popular but it's popular in my heart. i have to put on the work when no one else will HFHFRHJGHR

"And Touya was busy on the day of their double date 👀👀👀???"

i did not think of what toya was doing that night but now he was on a videocall with nene playing competitive puyo puyo (they kept ending in a tie. rui was awake at like 5 am because he's rui and saw her room still had the lights on. he's gonna tease nene SO HARD about it next time they see each other)

"I'm honored to know that you think I make an amazing An and Kohane!! I'm so grateful that some of the coolest and cutest characters sound like me so that I can do them justice ;-;"

your kohane impression was so sweet! and your energy matches an super well! i can't help but keep telling you ✨✨✨

"Being let in on the club about That One Line That Made Me Smack My Mic is so cool!! And dude, whoever made That Line deserves a bit of a medal because it's so perfectly dramatic. I love that shit!"

hehe. i don't like talking about the source (... more like the creator's other works) because they're very, really, honestly super special to me but they're also... um... really something. and one of the games needs a warning for like, every trigger ever, and i'm like. ok. this is not everybody's tea and it has some moments that make even me cringe as well. but if you do not like it i will cry-

"I've always wanted to say a line like, “WHY DON’T WE STOP TALKING FOR A WHILE.” for so long, Blueberry!! Thank you so much for writing it!! This line always makes me laugh so much... especially since it reminds me of Reigen from Mob Psycho 100 HAHAHA"

BECAUSE REIGEN IS ICONIC HONESTLY no wonder he keeps winning tournaments!!! i have not finished mp100, but i really like him bc my sister told me he's like mob and i'm his reigen and i'm like oughhhhhhh oughhhh you're so sweeeeeet

"*Nods* You're so right. You're so right! Akito has been dying a slow death this entire double date (I love that for him) and Tsukasa Is Just Like That."

i think someone described my fic as "making akito suffer in the sweetest way possible" and yeah. yeah i think that tracks

"BAHDHAHAHA I'm happy that you enjoyed my little Akikasa tangent there!! And thank you so much for the refresher, omg. I can't believe I forgot that moment.... it make me go WILD when I read it BAHAHHAHAHAHA. Akito was so romantic there... like, even I was flustered!! Damn, dude!!! You went hard there!!!!!"

because it was so nice!!! and sweet!!! it made me go like AUGHGHGHGH akik ASAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and don't worry, i keep forgetting about those kind of things too... but i like that in a sense, y'know? you get to experience it all over again!

but i'm glad you liked it!!! i aim to be sappy in the most best (? way possible!

"Akito's so gay that Mizuki can feel it through a screen, MILES away? Damn... yeah....... he really DID do all that. Bravo Akito 👏"

akito recieves a DM from mizuki in the middle of the night that says "hey can you stop being gay for a sec? i can't sleep" and akito doesn't even deny he just goes "FUCK YOU AKIYAMA" and turns his phone off

"When I started clapping, I had finally figured out that I could get my Cute Aggression (← which is a real thing) out in a way that didn’t involve decreasing the durability of my desk B)!!!"

OHHHH, SO THAT'S WHAT THAT WAS! yup, i know about cuteness aggression, when i read about it i was like "oh yeah. that makes sense huh." my fic keeps being a hazard for both humans and inanimate objects (your desk)...

"Ah, you caught me! I often ship two characters that I relate to!! I call it self love B)"

that's very sweet! i don't usually do that- i relate to both minori and tsukasa and when he encouraged her in the anniversary event i felt like.

but if you do that honestly? better for you, you get to enjoy more ships! AND you feel appreciated x2!

":O tHERE’S MORE?? YAHOO!! THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I’VE GOTTEN ALL DAY!!!"

yup, and a mafu-kasa fic that's finished... in spanish. i still have to translate it but i keep getting sidetracked and translating random comics i find on pixiv to practice my japanese... sob

"I RESPECT THAT TOUYANENE GRIND 💪! I don’t know much about either of them, but I do appreciate gamers being in love B)"

ah at first it was because i didn't ship their most popular (respective) ships, and i was like. oh they interacted a bit maybe i can ship them- but then i was like YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ACTUALLY VERY GOOD WOAH

"You are!! I’d give you a medal for being entertainingly violent if I had one >:D"

aw, i'm content with you considering me for the position hehe!

As I’ve said earlier, your enjoyment for what I’ve done makes me so damn giddy :>!! I’m honored that I could make you smile so much

OF COURSE??? seeing someone enjoy my works so much makes me explode out of happiness! i want you to know how much all of this meant to me!!! i was like this the whole time

(the bunny stickers representing exactly how i feel once again)

YET AGAIN thank you so, so much! i this made me super happy!!! thank you for doing this!!!

[euphoricfilter]

OMG WTF "FAIRYTALE DREAMS" WAS SO GOOD! (idk i feel like your writing got better or something in this fic? it feels different in terms of pacing, wording, and smut idk. or is it bc i love the concept hm idk) I love both of the characters and their relationship dynamic. Shy, spoiled mc. (ipad baby tho lol. im a lil like that with my phone tho so yeah hm) Simp Namjoon who takes care of her so much and never wants her to be sad omg TT I love the intro section and the usage of fairy tales. "That sickly feeling you get...the main cast of the story, fall in love and find their god-awful happiness that you can only dream of." This paragraph hit hard. Mood while watching kdramas and good fics omg TT His thought process and obsession feel realistic. The cafe section was really good. Patient Namjoon and the sleeve holding. so cute TT "Namjoon feels his cock twitch in his pants as you bend over the table slightly," I love this part bc it seems like he doesn't even take his eyes off her omg. (right?) such a simp aww. and the casual hair pulling omg. SIZE AND BULGE KINK OMG! The dirty talk is so good. The fleshlight line got me so flustered omg. (i love it) The murder part was interesting. He waited for a long time wow. Why? Him writing his fantasies was good omg. How did he kill him? And he goes to Jin's home bc he doesn't want to risk her seeing the blood? Does Jin know about the murder or not? Namjoon also said he lied to her in the beginning? I wonder if he had a bad past or job. My first thought was he was in a gang with Jin. What's his current job?

-🖤

NDJSJSNWJE THANK YOU

this one probably is different, i think this is closer to my actual writing style. i seriously find writing requests and drabbles kinda hard and idk why it’s like i need to see ever individual paragraph split up otherwise everything feels jumbled and i’m constantly second guessing myself

i think for this, i had a clear idea of what i wanted and how i wanted to write it, so it was less, always second guessing what i was doing throughout the whole thing. i think this also took me 3 days 🥲 when usually i can get a request done over like an afternoon and then edit everything at night

honestly i think i was projecting because super simp namjoon just 😋 it’s what i need in my life and maybe this is why i have yet to date because this is what i expect from a relationship

the cafe scene made me giggle or whatever and i had a very clear idea of how i wanted it to be and think i did okay in explaining it 🥲

oh yeah if the m/c is in the room then namjoon’s eyes are on her no matter what, this man does not care

idk where the fleshlight line came from, that wasn’t me i swear something just consumed my body and then uh oh my fingers were typing it out

ah yes the murder scene, he waited because if he’d gone after jimin right from the bookshop then it would have been kinda obvious he had been the killer and he’s not trying to get arrested, luckily he has the patience of a saint so he didn’t mind waiting a little while before he did what he needed to do

i think i’ll write a second part at some point to fill in the gaps that weren’t touched on in this because jin plays a significant role in namjoon’s murders and how he always seems to get away with it that’s why he wasn’t all that fazed when he showed up at his house after dealing with jimin

yeeah i think the foundation of their relationship was probably based off lies, though i doubt it would have taken much convincing on namjoon’s part to woo the m/c, because no matter what he was going to be a good boyfriend to her

nope no gang in this one

namjoon works in an office, among other things 😋

[sweet-little-dude]

hi hi taku my love!! <3 this is the k polycule ask plus i remembered that i’ve been writing a bajiharu fic and i also wanna talk about that hehe. actually i’ll talk abt that first bc the k polycule is all happy and the bajiharu fic.... not so much. and you deserve healing :)

btw btw beware this is long. really long. i copied this message into a wordcounter and it’s 1.5k without the paragraph you’re reading rn... whoopsies. i insaned a little on my ramble. do tell me if i should shorten it bc it’s too long, and take all the time you need to reply afhjfdgjjgdfh

so okay the bajiharu (baji x sanzu just in case that’s not clear for some reason) wip is currently sitting at 15k and. wtf man 15k ?? i wrote that ?? damn. anyways idk how many of my posts abt it you’ve read but it’s p much a giant character/relationship study of the two. basically bajiharu across the years and timelines. canon compliant too, which sadly means that baji is dead most of the time but oh well. it is VERY angsty (i mean baji is dead that’s where the angst is starting already... and i mean sanzu’s canon life) and uh. i keep describing sanzu dying in nearly every future timeline but i’m having a ton of fun :D also it’s gonna be angst with a happy ending when i’m finished and probably around 30k words. a 30k one-shot. i don’t think i can even chapter it.... welp. accidents happen. yk this was supposed to be a maximum of 5k of bajiharu in the og shin timeline (the one in which he lives and mikey has the accident and ends up dying and stuff) and the final timeline but. uhh. uhm. yeah honestly idk what i did but my brain wouldn’t let go of them so here we are lol

i would summarise the plot of the fic but there hardly is one ?? like it’s just random excerpts from their lives. i mean some of them are like 3k long too and def have plots in and of itself but there’s no greater plot to be summarised 😭

tho what i can say is that they actually are somewhat together in the og timeline and they are.. happily together. they are NOT happy in fact they are miserable but they love each other in a tender way yk. but but they WILL be happy in the final timeline. and happily together too!! i just need them to be happy pls okay thanks. in between baji is dead so not many feelings on his part (😭😭) but sanzu is a miserable wet cat. also i have the most tragic death planned for him in the bonten timeline bc i am a ‘‘weird on-off-ish romance-ish but they don't wanna admit it's that even though it very obviously is and there is so much emotional (and sexual) tension and my god how can they live like this’’ bonten rinzu truther. wowie. and wouldn’t it be really fun if rindou accidentally shot sanzu on a mission gone heavily wrong that ends in sanzu dying in his arms? yeah <3

also!! akashi siblings!! i very much plan on writing abt them too in some timelines. specifically i think i’ll have sanzu move in with senju in the manila timeline before mikey kills him off (i am so excited to write this you don’t know istg) and i’ll have him move back in with takeomi in that one timeline in which izana takes over and naoto & takemichi end up dying in the future bc i hc that senju was shot dead in the past and sanzu has nowhere else to go after mikey’s death (bc he’s actually dead in that future...) so yeah. akashi siblings <3

also in case you wonder what my current 15k cover so far (i’m forcing myself to write chronologically for once bc i really wanna finish this and i’ve got a lot of scenes i’m excited to write i can use to push through the others), it’s the og timeline, the timeline in which draken gets killed by kiyomasa, one of the two following timelines in which draken survives and ends up on death row (i decided to cut one of them bc imo they’re too similar to write abt again), and some past stuff happening before that. which. is not a lot. just now realising how unmuch that is actually wtf it feels like sm more- okay anyways i plan on writing about the bad toman timeline with takemichi as executive, the manila future, bonten future, the future timeline after that with izana, and naoto & takemichi dying, possibly some tenjiku timeskip stuff, and then ofc the final timeline. (i. i gotta say i hope those 30k aren’t lowballing it by like 10k bc if you consider that i’ve written for three timelines plus some inbetween bits and i’m planning for another five whole timelines with inbetween stuff-- ayayay bajiharu is gonna be the death of me)

uhm this is already mUCH longer than planned help buuuut some k polycule stuff bc i love them and they love each other and they are happy. okay so ik you read my posts abt them so i’ll just start with them in their mid/late thirties, finally settled down somewhere they feel safe and they actually like :3 cough cough switzerland mayhaps ? cough cough. yk it can’t be japan anyways... and switzerland is far away...... and i know it well....

okay. they adopt a cat. or maybe two. probably two actually. two cats for them bc they’d like some company other than themselves and kazutora loves cats anyways. i believe that koko is actually more of a dog person bc inupi, but he’s the type of guy to go ‘‘ofc YOU GUYS can get a cat. it’s gonna be YOUR cat. YOU will have to take care of it. i won’t (unless absolutely neccessary.)’’ and then a month or smth after they get a cat kazutora & kakucho are away for a weekend for.. work or smth idk and when they get home koko & the cat are sleeping on the couch while he’s hugging the cat close to his chest, and there’s cat toys all over the floor bc he spent hours playing with the cat. he will still refuse to admit how much he loves the cat but he continues to play and snuggle with it whenever his bfs (husbands? i feel like they’d wear matching wedding rings and call each other husbands even if they legally aren’t bc poly marriage is forbidden) aren’t there to see. also this is really random but kakucho is the small spoon, kokonoi the middle spoon, and kazutora the big spoon. or two of them just sleep hugging the third person.

kazutora would work at a pet shop again i think. maybe he’d even study medicine to become a vet assistant? tbh i’ve always seen him doing that more than chifuyu or baji (tho i love vet student baji too <3). struggling with giving the other two jobs bc after bonten i don’t think kakucho would still want to work with kids (tho i def see him doing some kind of charity work in his free time) and kokonoi... he can’t sponsor anyone like this nor could he do finances for anyone, and he would never ever work at a bank. he’d still like a high paying job/smth at least loosly related to money tho. maybe like some sort of secretary for someone in finances? idk. very open to ideas for these two bc well i am stuck lol.

i think they’d mostly just try to take it slow and enjoy their more peaceful lives now (well kazutora’s life was pretty peaceful before too.. but kokonoi & kakucho) without having to worry about illegal and dangerous and whatnot else stuff. they deserve it okay they all had to go through too many things 😭

also more random stuff about them. kokonoi is banned from the kitchen not because he’s a safety hazard or because he burned down the kitchen once or smth but because he keeps wanting to cook overly expensive gourmet foods, and while they do taste good they are way too expensive and take way too much. plus he HATES having other people in the kitchen with him (he straight up locks them out) and refuses to leave the kitchen while he’s cooking even if he has to wait two hours for something to slowly simmer on low heat so essentially he AND the kitchen are gone for half a day if he wants to make dinner. he doesn’t really mind the kitchen ban though so it works. i think kakucho enjoys cooking the most, but he and kazutora both cook a lot. and sometimes kokonoi forces himself to wake up extra early on weekends (like. 6am. and then he’s done at 7am. and the other two wake up at 9am when early, more like 10am to 11am bc weekend and kokonoi has to wait with his beautifully prepared breakfast for hours) to make pancakes for them all <3

uhh that’s everything in my brain rn i think. i hope. and this is already a fucking essay so whoopsies. anyways that was it, i very much hope you enjoyed my long ass rambles <3 fr fr i missed writing these rambles for you,, but aa i can do that again!! :D

hello elys my love <333 but allg!! i actually read this whole thing a few days after u sent it initially but ive been rlly drained these past like 3 weeks so i hadnt been able to get to it :(( apologies again my love

no cuz fr 15k crazy!!!!! good job!!! no cuz like that lil description of ur rinzu is actually so real.... (this is making me miss my tokyorev hyperfixation so bad ngl) but ur bajiharu fic sounds so good!! the idea and concept of it is so well thought of i applaud u so muchhh

NO CUZ FR WRITING ABT THINGS UR FAMILIAR WITH >> its like u know it so fuckin well which means u can go into rlly good amounts of detail like !!!!!!!!!! ok so first paragraph is so :333 koko being a softie for the cat is so sweettttt omg

i think the jobs u chose for them are good !! suits them all very well but yes agreed they most definitely deserve it <33

ofc its kokonoi doing that, but u cant blame him fr hez just being a good husband </3333

it was fun having this in my inbox again !!! i miss doing these too and i hope the late reply doesnt discourage u <333

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

First of all, congrats on 3000 followers! You're one of the best writers I have ever seen, the way you capture the characters personalities and quirks so well it's honestly astonishing. You deserve all the recognition in the world! Now, I have been waiting for your requests to be open for a while now bc I could not stop thinking about nathan + texting the wrong number. I don't think this in the prompt lists you shared, so feel free to just ignore. Either way, thank you so much for all the stories you give us!

Part of Youvebeenlivingfictional's 3K Follower Celebration

Notes: Thank you so much anon omg 🥺🥺🥺

Texts like this are from Nathan Texts like this are from you. A new line indicates a new text.

Warnings: Drunkenness, cursing, sexual innuendo, implied sex, implied phone sex

hey. hey hey hey hey I sent you the scummatics.

???

the

fucking the design things. Been drinking can’t spell right nnw

You also can’t text the right number, apparently.

Fuck you this is the right numver

Wow, drunk AND polite.

fuck you and quit fucking around i need that shit in productin yestrday

Well, looks like you’re not going to get it until tomorrow, along with a raging hangover

I pay ur goddamn celery, Randall

Randall must be one lucky man. I’m guessing he’s also underpaid if his compensation is celery.

randall i’m fucking over this just get your shit done do ur fuckgnin job

[Today Incoming Video Call]

[3 minutes long]

……ur much hotter than randall.

Drink some water and go to bed, dude.

--

Hi.

Still not Randall.

No, I know.

And you’re typing with the correct words, so I’m guessing you’re more sober than you were last night?

Correct.

I just wanted to apologize for that. I entered my assistant’s number wrong on my phone.

Don’t worry about it.

Right.

I need to ask you something.

Is it how to spell ‘schematics’?

…No.

Can I call you? Are you busy?

Sure, call.

--

Seeing Nathan Bateman’s face on the other end of your phone last night had been shocking. The last time you saw him—Well. You'd rather not think about that. You're not sure if the man straight-up didn't recognize or remember you, or if he was just too drunk for it to register last night. You’re not sure which would be better. But the fact that he’s contacting you again, and wants to call? It's even more stunning. When his number flashes across your screen under the name ‘That Drunk Guy’, you hesitate. You did tell him to call, but now you’re regretting it. You should’ve waited, asked what he wanted. But you take in a deep breath, and stab the green button, and lift the phone to your ear. “Yeah?” You ask.

“Why aren’t you using a Blue Book phone?”

“Is this seriously why you fucking called me?”

“I mean, no, I’m just curious.” You roll your eyes, eyeing your screen.

“You’re calling my work phone. They don't exactly let you choose what make and model you get—especially when you’re working for the company that makes them.”

“You work for fucking Apple?”

You can’t tell if he’s disgusted or amused. Nonetheless, you answer: “Uh huh.”

“Huh.”

“Right. So if that’s all—”

“It isn’t.”

“Okay?”

“I just uh…Yeah, I read those texts over and holy shit, I was...Kind of an asshole.”

“Yeah.”

“And I don’t need that getting to the press.” You snort. “The press already thinks you’re an asshole, Bateman.”

“Right. Nonetheless—”

“I won’t say shit about shit. Just send whatever fucking NDA you’re going to try and pitch me, I’ll get it back to you by the end of the day.”

“You can’t send it back in, like, five minutes?”

“I need my lawyer to go over it, make sure you’re not going to put my tits in a vice. I don’t sign anything without my lawyer looking at it.”

“Okay. I respect that.”

“No you don’t. You just want me to sign it and get it over with. Send it.” You pull your phone away from your ear without another word, hanging up. Your heart is pounding in your throat; your hand is shaking minutely. Nathan fucking Bateman. You’d been stunned last night, but if anyone knew—if anyone heard, this could get you in some hot water. Tech is a small world, and there’s nothing in your contract with Apple that prohibits speaking to any other companies, but Blue Book is Apple’s biggest competitor. You don’t want to rock the boat.

--

NDA is signed and sent.

You’re a merciful angel.

You can stop trying to butter me up, I sent the damn document already.

There’s no butter here.

Okay.

I mean, literally, none. My trainer has me abstaining from dairy.

You poor thing.

I’ll live. I miss cheese more than butter.

I bet.

You don’t wanna talk to me, do you.

I just have no idea why you’re still talking to me.

You know, when you vid called me, you looked familiar, but I couldn’t place you.

So I looked up your number.

Really putting that search engine to good use.

Did we fuck?

Last night? How drunk were you?

AI Tech summit, Geneva, like, two years ago.

…Yeah.

I FUCKING KNEW IT

Okay. Good talk.

For the record, I would never put your tits in a vice. From what I remember, you’re not into that kinda thing.

Friendly reminder that that NDA was only inclusive of the texts that you sent me last night.

…Right.

You had no clause for future or further communications.

Right right right.

Holding my own NDA over my head. That’s hot

Wow, you’re still going with this.

Call me again

For what?

call me

…Are you seriously jerking it over a power trip?

please call me

[Today Incoming Video Call]

[28 minutes long]

--

hey

Yep, just send the new NDA over.

[Attachment received]

??????

…This is a fucking plane ticket.

We had fun in Geneva, and I think we both had fun last night.

You think? You didn’t bother to ask before buying me a fucking ticket?

Come see me.

For a bang trip?

What else?

...Send the NDA that’ll go with the trip. I’m not getting out there and signing it. Send it now.

[Attachment received]

So fucking bossy.

It gets you hard.

It really does.

So you’re coming?

NDA pending.

Okay. --

You glance over at Nathan as he rolls off of you, brow furrowing. He’s sated, sweating, and…Giggling. “What?” You ask, stomach flooding with nerves and butterflies. Was the sex that bad? But Nathan shakes his head, reaching down and curling an arm around your middle, a dopey smile tipping up his lips as he says, “Remind me to send Randall a fucking fruit basket.”

[moemammon]

When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...

Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?

And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent

You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment

(Mario jumping sound effect)

Lucifer

He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.

Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?

"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"

You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.

I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-

The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,

You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.

So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.

Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.

Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-

Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.

Mammon

GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW

He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!

But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!

But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.

"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"

When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.

If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder

And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?

You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"

Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.

Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!

Levi

You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!

Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!

According to Levi.

You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...

Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.

Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.

You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.

Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"

He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??

Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,

Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦

Satan

Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.

That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.

You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.

So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.

"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."

Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.

His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...

Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.

You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.

Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.

Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...

Asmo

How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?

He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.

Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.

"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"

You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-

Actually no you wouldn't.

You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.

"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"

You would do no such thing.

You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.

"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"

Beel

He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?

But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!

Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."

Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-

Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...

Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.

"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.

You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-

You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.

You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?

He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...

Belphie

You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.

But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.

But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.

He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.

But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??

You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.

"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."

You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!

Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!

Jump out of the window, baby

Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????

He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....

[blueeyedheizer]

1.6k celebration - blurb event

rules

you can send up to two prompts

the list is kind of long because I will only use each prompts once. this is the main difference with my previous blurb events! first come first serve kinda :)

please do not mass request <3 and finally please please pleeeease bear with me and my slowness. i'm still struggling to write rn so like. uh. yeah. be patient 😭

characters:

-matt, matthew connellly

-michael gray, j cody

-seb jacobs, frank mccullen, four

-cassie howard, pippa

-eddie munson, chrissy cunningham (no smut)

(i'll be privileging requests for sydney and stranger things bc I wanna write more for them — but feel free to request for whoever you want from the list :))

prompts:

#1 "Just shut up! I'm not as fragile as you think I am, I don't need protecting!"

#2 "This is a one time thing”

#3 “bend over the desk”

#4 “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself then”

#5 "you shouldn’t be alone right now.  i’ll take the couch,  it’ll be fine."

#6 "well, i can think of some ways to wear you out. 

#7 "i didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

#8 "i'll never forget you."

#9 "Don't go [on that date/mission/business trip/ to *destination*...]." "Why?" "You know why."

#10 “i want to taste you”

#11 “my mom/dad adores you.”

#12 "babe, you can barely keep your eyes open...let's go."

#13 “touch me and you lose”

#14 “When we get home I’m cuffing you to the bed and going down on you all night until my jaw is sore.”

#15 "man, fuck that guy. go show her what she’s missing. “

#17 “tell me that there was some truth to it.” “...come on. i don’t want to do this.” “tell me it wasn’t all in my fucking head, [name].”

#18 “stop— stop talking!” “why? you can’t even face your own mistake?”

#19 "I don’t want you to be alone tonight and honestly, I don’t really want to be alone either.”

#20 "I'm really not in the mood." "You never are."

#21 "I love you."

#22 “y'know, i was hoping to make a sandwich but seeing as you're here already, wearing that, i'd rather have something else to eat.”

#23 "I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy." "don't ever say that...you made me so happy."

#24 "that’s the sixth time you’ve complimented me today.”

#25 "I'd hold onto something if I were you."

#26 "You don’t love me anymore, do you?”

#27 “I wonder what your girlfriend/boyfriend would do if they knew what you were doing right now.”

#28 “You're so beautiful.”

#29 "It’s really hard seeing you/him/her with him/her everyday.”

#30 “There will always be a part of you that wishes you could be with him/her."

#31 "she’s everything i ever wanted, but i don’t want to risk losing her as a friend."

#32 "look, i don't know if i’m the kind of person you need or even want right now. but i’m looking around and i’m the only one who’s here.

#33 "If I never see you again, just know that I love you so, so much.”

#34 "We've been by each other's sides for years, you think I'm gonna leave now?"

#35 "did you fake it?"

#36 "i heard what you said...no one's ever talked about me that way before.."

#37 "i asked if you were having a party. i didn’t tell you to have a party.

#38 "If you die, I’m going to kill you"

#39 "You’ve got thirty seconds to explain to me what you’re doing here."

#40 "It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

#41 "What do you got?” "Uh...A headache.”

#42 ”Are you alright?” “I will be.”

#43 ''you only call me when you want to hook-up.'' '' that was part of the agreement, wasn't it? ''

#44 "We're in public you know." “I really don’t care, you look hot and I’m trying not to fuck you senseless right now”

#45 “I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice”

#46 Think anyone will notice if I start fingering you right now?”

#47 "you're an idiot" / "but i'm your idiot"

#48 "Look...I know we broke up, but you know that you aren't any less important to me now, right?"

#49 "Spread your legs."

#50 "You're perfect... everything about you is perfect"

#51 "One more word out of you and I’ll bend you over the table and fuck you in front of everyone”

#O you can also suggest a prompt from my previous prompt lists :)