#I’ll be starting tomorrow probably so
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I think I also own pillars of eternity…
#tumblr polls#I’ll be starting tomorrow probably so#1 day limit lol#pillars of eternity#pathfinder#warhammer 40k#okay clearly poe 1 is necessary to 2 lmao#I know some games are not Direct Sequels so fjdkdj#maybe I should play Baldur’s gate tonight since I don’t wanna sit at my desk today#also I’m gonna buy all of these regardless of which wins#I’ll just go down a list or something
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I fucking HATE them.
Click for Quality!
#they make me want to kill things with my teeth and hands#also more of my human bill design you will see more of him#I’m probably gonna get the book of bill tomorrow so I’ll soon start being abnormal about its contents too#aria draws#digital art#digital drawing#fanart#gravity falls#bill cipher#stanford pines#human bill cipher#billford#bill x ford#I love toxic (soon to be old man) yaoi#I need to eat drywall I need to slam my head into a wall#nest time I’m at work I’m crawling into that trash compactor just to relieve myself of the illness#they’re in my fucking head I need to kill them both#toxic yaoi#yayyyyy
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Twelfth Doctor lighting study I did this afternoon
#I was watching the girl who died and I literally had to pause and screenshot this scene#it’s just so beautifully lit I immediately had to draw it#I’ve also started a matching Clara from the same scene but I’ll probably post that tomorrow#(if I remember to finish it)#(which I probably will because I’m embarrassingly hyper fixated on her rn)#doctor who#the doctor#12th doctor#twelfth doctor#twelfth doctor fanart#doctor who fanart#12th doctor fanart#doctor who season 9#the girl who died#am I missing anything?#my art
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*getting extremely lightheaded at random intervals of the day* this is so alec hardy coded
#asclexeposting#ugh on the s1 finale but gonna watch it tomorrow. to like. make if suspenseful or whatever#i would i say ‘omg he’s literally me’ but i am much too fruity and honestly ellie coded#i jusy get the ‘hes literally me’ feeling at any dt character at this point.#ive convinced myself to watch like. most of his filmography for fun so i’ll probably start blackpool like after broadchurch#ughh i love this show and i would say its fun but it’s honestly not fun but it is intriguing#broadchurch#alec hardy
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SHOOT
It’s December First
Ive got to get back on that Voltron grind
#i was busy the other day#we had plans and stuff#so either later later today or tomorrow I will het back up on that#I want to see what happens next#because i don’t really remember anything past the last season#and keep in mind I watched it for the first time in the seventh grade and I have just started college#and my memory is famously bad#but i’ll probably remember bits and pieces the more I watch#so we’ll get there#voltron legendary defender#voltron#vld
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Some more Side-side characters for my HTTYD crossover that I’ve been cooking up in the background. A few of these guys are antagonists, while others are filling up space in other areas. I’m not entirely happy with how some of them turned out, but I am way too tired to deal with it, so I’ll tweak design aspects and colors in future drawings
I’m planning to talk about a few of these character at a later date, revealing who exactly they are and what not
#i’m definitely not sure about how elowyn came out. specifically color wise#but she’s also got four seperate outfits including this one. so#I’ll deal with her later#I’ll probably look at these later and either go ‘they’re fine’ or ‘they’re horrendous’#the DESIGNS themselves im happy with#(except bjornhilde there’s just something that doesn’t quite feel right to me and i don’t know what yet)#but some of the colors are just…idk#*gestures vaguely*#idk. I’ve been feeling weird these last few days and probably should have waited until i was feeling not weird before starting these#some of these characters skin or hair colors are also throwing me off#York and groobaloo specifically#bognut/knor/boris/and berry are the only ones i am 100 percent okay with#elowyn feels too…bright? she’s meant to be flashy#but there’s something about the colors that just doesn’t sit with me#idk I’ll talk to her person tomorrow at work. see what she thinks#eghhhh why didn’t i wait on this?#httyd/the deep crossover#httyd#httyd oc
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I’m going to get nothing done this week except arts and crafts just you wait and see
#petals talks#my final is literally due on Sunday and I have not even started it lmao#at work I’m covering for a million people so I’m just entertaining myself really#I should just write it tomorrow and get it over with#but I know me and I’ll probably end up doing laundry and finishing Christmas gifts#also I should be asleep rn but a headache is keeping me awake#maybe I’ll drug myself with melatonin
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vent in tags sorry
cw: mention of loss
#adding a long note to the beginning so no one sees the actual vent in the case that they don’t want to which is absolutely okay#okay that’s probably good#i feel like a failure today.#my car wouldn’t start on friday and i haven’t had a moment to actually call a mechanic until today#called early in the morning and he said he’d call me back with a time#i’ve reached out multiple times since then and have heard NOTHING#if i don’t get it fixed today i’ll have to take my partners car instead#and when i asked them if that would possibly be okay#they started off on a rant about how they were planning to do all this shit tomorrow morning and now can’t if they don’t have their car#but genuinely. how tf was i supposed to know about their plans?? why did they have to say it all like this is completely my fault???#i’m sorry that i’m still in a not so good mental place right now and might forget to do things in a more timely manner#i’ve had two grandparents pass away in the span of a few WEEKS. give me a little grace.#i give them the same understanding every day when they’re having a rough time#so why can’t they offer me the same thing?#i know they’re just stressed and tired and busy but FUCK SO AM I#i’m just. over it. i want to go to sleep.#and by sleep i mean literal sleep i’m not insinuating anything darker i promise#i may be in a rough spot mentally but it is not that kind of rough <3 i’m safe#just. very tired. and in need of support.#i feel like i’m always giving and rarely getting support in this relationship.#and now i’m just feeling like a burden and an inconvenience for even needing the extra support in the first place#the urge to run away and start my life over is strong holy shit
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It’s been awhile but I’m finally getting into the groove of editing once again!! :D
#lowkey very proud of myself#so I’ll probably post a couple edits a day#and I’ll start posting some pc wallpapers tomorrow if I’m not too sleepy
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i categorically should NOT take a nap when i get home in 20 minutes but i absolutely am going to take a nap when i get home in 20 minutes
#it would be better to just push through because i have an early start tomorrow that i’ll need sleep for#and i probably need gas and definitely need groceries#but also if i happen to sleep all the way through to tomorrow morning then so be it
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i can’t believe it ….. i’m free ………….. (spreads my wings and immediately flies into a brick wall)
#just drew my last artfight attack. GOODBYE BITCH!#jesus christ man this was such a wild artfight for me. 31 (the most i’ve ever done!!!) finished pieces all in different artstyles#i need an oscar. a grammy. anything#oh my god i cant believe i can actually draw other stuff now#realistically i’ll probably never draw again for like 2 years after all that#crammerposting#ouhhhh auehghhh#probably gonna start posting my attacks tomorrow#i SO didnt draw everyone i wanted to draw. but it’s ok <3 we ball
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ok. will scrap whatever i’ve written for “premonition of love” and start anew 🙂↕️
#it’s NAWT hitting#once again i go from fic to fic like a bunny hopping from carrot to carrot#BUT FOR REAL……… hmmmmm maybe i just need to pivot completely#i can’t think of a good intro for the LIFE of me#like . UGHFHFBHFHFHFJFJFJ#and i love these two characters Specfically so much so i wanna do my devoted losers in love justice 😭#hmmmmmm . will create a new giggle doc#*GOOGLE DOC THIS IS THE SECOND TIME TODAY IT AUTOCORRECTED TO GIGGLE DOCS 😭😭😭#ANYWAYS . am sleeping and i probably won’t be on tomorrow but hopefully in the evening i can start writing for this#i’m both not making headway and also making some headway on cult geto but i wanna pivot and write smthn more fluffy :3#woohoo :> hopefully i can think of something 😪#maybe i’ll just stream of conscious write even if it’s somewhere in the middle of the fic and see where it goes#not writing linearly is kinda dumb of me but fuck it . We Ball#also by scrap i don’t mean delete the stuff bc i have learned NOT to do that 😭#anyways i need to finish at least one fic omg gotta christen my blog w a google doc fic EVENTUALLY#personal
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i think the only thing that will fix me is to make a list right now
#i was doing soooo well#for a day#but like i was on the top of the world!!!!#okay 1- clean 2- make a list#then i’ll either start trying to make plans with people or do some school work#either is good probably#i have one friend i could see tomorrow but i always see her when i’m in the depths of hell and it doesn’t help#we meet up once every three months and it’s always me going ‘so i haven’t left my house in a month!!’#i’m not down that deep like not even close#but i was doing Well and i’m not#so we’ll just turn things around
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god I am acting bleak on main tonight
#🥞🧇#I do maintain that any thought you have after 8pm is not real#but also I have been having a rough go of it lately and no one to really talk to abt that <///3#except like . my therapist#I don’t rlly want to get into it but I’m unhappy with my life and to make matters worse I’m dealing with everything alone#I went from having a support system a matter of months ago to having nothing#due to distance or people not being as invested or some secret third thing I can’t figure out bc texting is stupid and no one calls anymore#belgh it’s just allllll been coming out when I get even a little bit tired#I’m rlly sick and tired of feeling like this and I need to figure out what has to change so I don’t fucking feel like this anymore#I’m working on applying for jobs (still. the search has been horrible) so hopefully once I get hired I’ll start making friends???#idk.#i don’t want to think abt any of that rn#going to just get off my phone read a little and then go to bed probably#and wake up tomorrow and continue on my escapism hobbies that allow me to not feel <3#ok yeah I’m done goodnight#del later probably
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how unfortunate that i have two hyperfixations, several side interests, and a load of homework all clamoring at the same time for priority in my brain
#it’s so frustrating rn because yeah i do have to get some online coursework done so I don’t fail this class#but i ALSO want to relax before to go to bed#so what do i do?#(after i finish another module)#i could start heartstopper season 2 or i could make progress on the book i started today or i could watch a mission impossible movie#or i could watch a greta gerwig movie or i could start that tv show starring rebecca ferguson#there’s no WRONG choice but i want to do it all#& at the same time therefore this feeling that i have to watch things at the ‘right’ time in order to achieve maximum enjoyment#so like. that’s setting me back too because i want to reach maximum enjoyment for all these things#my gut feeling is to just start watching silo since i’m already obsessed with rebecca anyway#and if i watch mission i’d have to start from the first movie which she’s not in (until the fifth movie)#and i’ve been consuming so much alice oseman content lately i feel like i need to take a small break before i watch heartstopper s2#and my book… well i am in a rush to finish it because i have to get through all my library books before i move#but it could probably wait until tomorrow#idk maybe i’ll watch an episode of silo and then read a few chapters if i’m still awake enough#wow this is such a rambly post i’m so sorry#belle speaks
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i don’t understand ppl who leave their packing, until the last minute. i am already packing and i don’t go anywhere for over a week, imao
#*walter white voice* jesse we need to pack#imao i’m watching brba and thinking about packing at 2am#i actually haven’t started packing but i’m gonna pack all my clothes and just leave everything else until the day before#bc a lot of stuff i still need in the meantime#i also need to put pins on my jacket but that’s a separate thing that i keep forgetting to do#bc i think a lot of my best pins would be better on my jacket#i actually need to work out which clothes i’m wearing#like which ones to pack and which ones i’m wearing on the drive#i’m planning on probably just wearing sweats and a regular ass shirt#and i’ll dress up when i’m actually there#and i gotta make sure i have my meds all sorted#and i need to make sure i don’t forget anything and that i keep everything safe#this post is kinda just me talking to myself imao#but honestly they usually are#okay but like someone tell me to not to pack at 2am bc i can literally do it tomorrow during the day but my brain is like ‘pack now!!’#bc i have it stuck in my head#imao i’m also only going for three days but travelling is a whole thing with me#leaving the house in general is a whole thing with me#what may seem like nothing to some people is a huge deal to me#like wow you’re going on vacation for three days? so what?#but this is only the second time i’ve done this#and the longest i’ll have been away from home aside from when i was in the hospital#so yeah it’s a big deal#the worst part is the travel tho#when i’m actually there i’ll have a fun time bc i did last time#well kinda i also got homesick and was in the middle of a depressive episode but i digress#but this time i’m not! so go me!#gwen actually leaves the house and feels good about it for once!#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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