#I’d say where’s my Frankenstein daily but I own that book

[thechainsawtango]

Ok you guys!!! I did it!!! I subscribed to Dracula Daily!!

[queenlists]

Yours

A/N: We’re at 70! I thank every single one of you whether you follow or not. It’s been brightening my days getting notifications of people following, liking, and/or sharing. I never thought I’d see 70 on this page. THANK YOU! This is a story involving post-death Kyle Spencer. WARNING: Mentions of death and abuse! Thank you so much, again. I hope you enjoy this ✌

Post Date: 12/15/2019

He seemed dangerous.

“Kyle, no! I can’t get him to stop! Help me, (Y/n)!” Zoe screamed to me, her face a ghostly pale and her eyes reddened with fear.

The kind of person you’d better steer clear of.

He couldn't speak - only grunt, groan, and yell.

He flung his arms around, knocking things over.

Kyle threw everything in his path at the wall. Pushing over dressers, throwing lamps, throwing books, ripping pillows apart, tearing blankets, etc. Anything that could be destroyed in any way was. The way he flung his arms around showed that he lacked motor skills, he couldn’t really control his arms as they flung around him lifelessly only causing him to scream, yell, and destroy some more.

He seemed inhuman, animalistic if you will.

He lacked self control.

He lacked control, period.

“I am so happy he’s calm now. I was getting so scared!” Madison fanned herself with her hand. Zoe stood there watching Kyle, shaking violently. “What the hell did you two do?” I hissed at the two who exchanged looks with one another. “Hello?! I need to know what happened! Why is Frankenstein’s son in the coven?”

Apparently, he wasn’t always this way.

From what Zoe told me, she met Kyle at a party. He was kind and sweet before Madison flipped the bus that he was in over, killing him in the crossfire.

They managed to resurrect him after treating his body like Mr. Potato Head, playing Build-A-Boyfriend.

“He’s not the same, Kyle. I don’t think I can do this,” Zoe sobbed. “Well, I’m not.” Madison scoffed. Taking a deep breath, I rolled my eyes “You two owe me big time.” Madison and Zoe celebrated amongst themselves as I got up to walk to Kyle. His big, dark eyes looked up at me and I couldn’t help, but to smile at him.

He didn’t come back the same sweet frat boy he once was.

That scared Zoe and Madison off.

Leaving me to deal with what they created.

At first, I minded. Now, not so much.

I can see it in his eyes that he means well.

After a day or two, I could not handle his outbursts any longer. Every day was a constant losing battle. I was up every hour on the hour consoling him back to sleep and calming his rage fits down. I was beyond exhausted. With little thought, Zoe, Madison, and I decided taking Kyle home to his mom was our best bet. When we got there, his mom was ecstatic. Him not so much. As the door closed between us, he stared at me with cold, sad eyes. A tension crept down my spine. "Okay, we learned our lesson with that. Never again!" Madison huffed. "Yeah, never again" Zoe agreed. As we walked away, I couldn't help but keep looking back. Something inside of me was screaming to turn back. Something was wrong. Something was going to be wrong.

A few days passed and I could not shake Kyle from my mind. Throwing on clothes, I rushed downstairs to go pay him a visit. Knocking did nothing. Nobody was answering which was all too odd. I felt a coldness in the air. A coldness that meant no good. I welcomed myself into the home, creeping around the house as I breathed in the still of the air. Then I saw it. I saw what I feared most. Kyle's mom dea, lying in a pool of her own blood. I covered my mouth as I backed out of the room. My heart thudding hard against my chest. My hands creating a pool of sweat. I backed up until I was stopped by a stiff body behind me, turning around shakily there he was. Kyle, bloodied. His eyes were red-rimmed and crazy. His lip quivering. "Kyle, what did you do?" Kyle stood there, just watching me. Something happened. He wasn't a monster. Something happened.

"Are you hungry? You must be hungry." I gave Kyle's cheek a gentle pat before navigating my way to the kitchen to prepare him something. He stayed put, frozen in his spot. I slowly put together a sandwich for him, gathering my thoughts. I carefully picked up the plate and brought it to Kyle "I want you to go eat, okay?" I sat the plate down on the nearby table. Kyle obediently went to the plate, giving me time to do what I needed to do. I walked back into the room and knelt down beside Kyle's mom's body. With a shaky hand, I pressed my hand gently against her back. I saw it all.

I saw how she hurt him. Touched him in ways she shouldn't have. Violated him. Forced herself onto him. Out of fear, he protected himself. My heart broke in ways it bever did before. I quickly raced to Kyle, tears falling down my face as he looked up to me. He grunted, pointing to himself, to me, and then to the door. "You want to come home with me, baby?" My voice squeaked out. The pain he endured because I chose an extra two hours of rest over his peace hurt me. It shook me to my core that this all could have been prevented if I had only kept him with me. Where I knew he was safe. Where he knew he was safe. He smiled, nodding to me. "Let's go home, Kyle."

----

It was hard. The tantrums. The teaching. I felt tired! 

"Kyle put it down now!" I screamed at the enraged man. Little things set him off. He was a ticking time bomb, but he never put his hands on me. Kyle threw the lamp against the wall, grunting loudly. "Kyle, you need to calm down right now!"

I felt lost.

Kyle screamed, tears flowing out of his dark eyes and down his rosy cheeks. He pushed over my bookcase along with my dresser.  "I can't do this!" I yelled, putting my face in my hands, sobbing. I didn't know I was about to cry, but the emotions of this were too much for me. The yelling, the destruction, the tantrums were day in and day out. My body shook violently as I loudly sobbed into my hands. Soon, I heard whimpering coming from Kyle. Looking up, he was right there in front of me. "Sorry..I..sorry," Kyle slowly spoke, wiping away my tears "Kyle..sorry. (Y/n), no leave." My heart broke at the fact that he thought he was disposable to me, that I could throw him away at any given moment. Like I had before. “I will never leave you again. I promise.”

--------

“No, no, no, no!” Kyle screamed repeatedly, banging his fists against the bedroom wall. “Kyle, it’s okay! You’re okay. You need to get into the bath,” I walked towards Kyle as he punched holes into the bedroom room. “Kyle, enough!” I yelled loud enough to get his attention “Come with me, baby,” I held my hand out for Kyle as his shoulders slumped and his arms fell loosely to his sides. Kyle stared at my hand as his eyes began to turn red, tears falling down his face. He whimpered "Mad?" Kyle didn't speak much, but he was learning! “No, I'm not mad. You’re okay, honey. Let’s get in the bath.”Kyle walked over to me and fell to his knees in sobs, holding onto my legs. I gently ran my fingers through his soft dirty blonde hair “It’s okay, Kyle. You’re alright.” I managed to get Kyle to stand up and follow me into the bathroom where I already had a bath drawn.

Kyle pointed at the bubbles and smiled, oohing at the sight. “You like bubbles, huh?” I laughed, helping Kyle get undressed. His motor skills were equivalent to a toddler’s. He needed assistance in daily living: dressing, bathing, feeding, etc. I had to watch my words and my temper with him. Some days were way better than others, but I kept my promise. I eased Kyle into the bath slowly and then sat down on the closed toilet once he was in, thrashing and splashing around excitedly. He was full of wonder and amazement with life. I felt complete with him. "Bath?" Kyle smiled, pointing at me. I shook my head, giggling "No, no bath for me!" Kyle poked his bottom lip out as his eyes widened, guilting me with that puppy dog face. I playfully rolled my eyes at him, shaking my head "You're gonna stop that! It won't always work," I warned, undressing.

Getting in the bath, we played together. Splashing, singing, blowing bubbles, etc. With him, life was brightly new. Yes, it was complicated but it was damn worth it.

-------

"I love you," Kyle straightened his tie before heading downstairs to play butler.  "I love you too, Kyle!" I smiled, kissing him on the cheek. He grabbed me, getting really close to my face "No, I love you." Words wouldn't come out of my mouth. I knew that things had changed for good when Fiona managed to "fix" him. He didn't rely on me as much, He could dress himself, bathe himself, feed himself, and could express himself. After awhile of it, our time together began to take a different turn, a turn lacking innocence. 

"Kyle I-" "I want you. Be mine?" Kyle interrupted, smiling at me with those big, dark irresistible eyes. "I’m yours!" I laughed out, gently kissing him. “Oh my, you two?” Misty gasped, clapping her hands over her smiling mouth. Grinning, I nodded my head “Yes!” “Finally! Stevie and I told you she’d say yes, Kyle. This is wonderful!” Misty wrapped Kyle and I into a tight, warm bear hug. 

It was a turn of events I never thought would happen, but through it all, I knew we were a match made forever.

[anditendshowyoudexpect]

There remains a stigma attached to the word ‘breakdown’, when actually it’s a very legitimate response to life in the early twenty-first century. We are not designed for the non-stop world we live in, the pressures put upon us, and those we bring upon ourselves. For young people, especially, those pressures are becoming ever more intense. Social media, the battle for jobs, the speed with which we judge – it’s a lot easier for kids now to be made to feel inadequate in so many different ways. I worry about what any child picks up in their subconscious just through their daily interaction with the world. Societal pressure has got worse for children, and I hope my own experiences will make me better able to help my children tread that difficult path.

*

Billie was magnificent as Rose. I knew she was good at the time but looking back now I can see her absolute brilliance. It reminds me how much we loved working together, which is palpably obvious on screen. Actors work at chemistry; it doesn’t just come with a snap of the fingers, but we were fortunate enough to have something there from the start. We were also professionals and knew how to achieve on-screen banter. What truly amazes me is I know how nervous Billie was at the start. She thought I was some big serious performer and she didn’t have the belief in herself as an actor. She proved herself, of course, to be way better than any of the rest of us. Her luminosity on screen comes from herself, not those around her, and instinctively she made Rose exactly the person she should be. When Doctor Who won a BAFTA for Best Drama, it was Billie for whom I was truly delighted. The reception she got when the show was screened made any lingering reservations on her part about her ability evaporate. It was admirable in her that she had zero arrogance that she could do it. The work she has done since has shown her to be worthy of every accolade that comes her way.

Watching our characters now reinforces what I concluded at the time: Russell enjoys writing more for women than he does for men. If so, I’m glad – there’s been a lot of writing for men. Rose arrives on screen fully formed, one of the strongest female characters of any show of any year, painting a solid line leading directly to Jodie Whittaker. If you think about it, the relaunch in 2005 was actually the chance to create the first female Doctor. Why not do it then? Perhaps, really, we should be looking back on Billie Piper not as Rose but as the Doctor.

*

The attitude exists that, in the relationship between producer, director and actor, they are the adults and we are the children. I agree, actors can behave like children, they can be spoilt – but not this one, and not a lot of others I know. A working relationship can’t operate on a basis of master and servant. If a director, or anyone else on set, comes in and has bad manners, then chances are they’ll hear from me.

This idea that actors can be manipulated and pushed around to suit the agendas of others irritates me. On Shallow Grave, prior to the shoot, myself, Ewan McGregor and Kerry Fox lived in a flat together for a week. We rehearsed, read scenes, and got to know each other. I considered it to be a budgetary and practical arrangement, but after the film came out Danny talked about it as being a social experiment, which I objected to because to me it was like the director playing God. If Danny wanted to conduct an experiment to gauge our reaction and interaction to one another, he should have told us. Had I known, I would doubtless have gained something from the situation. Danny, I expect, would argue otherwise, that the actors wouldn’t get it. Well, I’m more intelligent than that. As it turned out, Danny’s plan was counterproductive because all it did was give myself, Kerry and Ewan a week to realise we didn’t like each other very much and didn’t get on. We had entirely different backgrounds, approaches to acting, and sensibilities. All three of us were also very, very ambitious and insecure with it. Danny would probably argue that that tension then manifested itself on screen. I think that’s bollocks. This idea of pitting one actor against another is dangerous, manipulative and patronising. The film would have been better without all that nonsense.

I’m not alone in feeling dismayed at misplaced directorial interference. Anthony Hopkins once arranged for the cast of Frankenstein to go for a Chinese meal during rehearsals. Anthony received a message from Francis Ford Coppola: ‘Francis doesn’t want you to go for a Chinese meal,’ it read, ‘because he feels it would break the atmosphere.’

Anthony Hopkins’ reaction was simple – ‘Bollocks, we’re going for a Chinese meal.’

*

In a way, Let Him Have It was an example of the British film industry bowing to American values. I hate Forrest Gump. I would like to burn every single copy of that film for the way it treats both mental health issues and women. A sexually free female character who ends up with AIDS? That tells you everything. I wanted to make an angrier, more polemical, more complicated film about a young man who deserved more than just to have the label ‘simple’ pinned to his lapel.

*

That presence, that intensity, that some people, not just Peter, have identified again comes from growing up, like most working class children, with the institutional message, ‘You’re stupid’, as did my father, as did my brothers. If you’re working class in this country, you may be able to shovel shit or push a trolley, but, ‘You are thick. You do not emote.’ ‘You are thick. You are not worthy of a decent education.’ Those central messages of unworthiness become so ingrained that they are self-perpetuating. Come up with a big word and not only are you mocked – ‘Oh, where did that come from?’ – but you mock yourself. So yes, I am intense, and that’s because there’s a lot of fierce concentration on trying to be articulate, rather than that laid-back public-school attitude to intellect that some people seem to have.

*

My dad had definitely shared with me a very visible masculinity. His appearance and actions shouted standard maleness, but the way I viewed him was different. It seemed obvious to me that, at his core, causing his outward behaviour, was a great femininity and vulnerability. My view of maleness was formed from how tyrannical my dad could be and yet how gentle. Through him, I learned to accept that the two things could coexist. I too have a masculinity allied to an intensely female side. Perhaps the difference is I’m aware of it. Dad, I think, found his sensitivity a source of conflict. For many years, I was the same. I resented it. I resented the part of me that made me different. If you are a late-twentieth-century male, traditional working-class, you are not going to like that side of yourself. I wanted to be black and white. I didn’t understand that it is the sensitive side that offers true insight in life – intuition and empathy.

*

Similarly, there’d be no bunches of flowers from Dad – none of that – and he didn’t like dancing – he was too self-conscious, too embarrassed – so Mum would always dance with somebody else.

I once went into my mum and dad’s room and saw a book, The Sun is my Tormentor, a Mandingo-esque novel of love and adventure, by Mum’s side of the bed. Seeing my mother in middle age and her desire for romance moved me deeply. It made me cry. I felt for her emptiness and also because I knew there were greater romantic novels that, because of her conditioning as being unworthy of such literature, she perhaps felt she couldn’t venture into.

*

We wrapped the production on Friday, had a party, and then on Saturday morning I’d arranged to go to Old Trafford with my dad. I was really looking forward to it – and he turned up with the season tickets from two years before. I’m disgusted with myself thinking about it now, but I gave him a bollocking. I was pissed off because I couldn’t go to the game. More than that, though, I was pissed off because he had dementia. That is shameful on my part, but genuinely that is the case. Maybe that shame is something others in the same position will recognise, an occasional presence of a selfish internal voice, one that so desperately craves ‘normality’.

I put my anger at his illness down to coming straight off the back of Flesh and Blood, with its fictional narrative so unflinchingly similar to my own non-fiction life. Amid that emotion, present as he always was whenever me and my dad knocked heads, was that little boy who was frightened of him. I definitely harboured residual anger towards him, a straight reflection of the anger he’d exhibited towards me. Sounds harsh, but he was getting back the temper he taught me. I was in control now. I’m not proud of that, and I’m not saying it’s right, but that’s how I justified it to myself.

I looked into his eyes and could see him trying to process what was going on. He was staring at the season tickets, semi-computing that they were the ones from two years ago, while trying to work out what the situation meant, and what should happen next. For ten seconds, my peripheral vision was blacked out, blinkered. All I saw was this big, fierce bird-like face looking around lost in confusion. I put Dad on the bus home, the route being familiar to him, and walked away. I rang later and explained to my mum what had happened. And then I started crying. I cried for four hours. That night I had a date with my girlfriend. I told her about it and cried all over again. I broke my heart like I’ve never broken my heart since. That moment of seeing his confusion had left a mark – not a bruise, but a deep, lasting weal. Until that point, I’d understood intellectually that my dad had dementia because we’d been told. But emotionally I hadn’t understood it at all. And then there, in the street outside Old Trafford, I’d been given a window into somebody going mad. Becoming demented. That’s the truth of it – demented. It’s a shocking word. We used to talk about demented dogs, and we shot them. When we say dementia, there’s no hiding the truth. It means people are demented. We can dress that up however we want, but there’s no denying the naked reality beneath. That day I had been presented with the stark vision of a man floundering in a maze of his mind’s own making. Not knowing who and where he was. And I’d just been horrible to him. And he was my dad.

*

Esme asked me the other day, ‘Daddy, do you like Mummy?’

‘Well,’ I said, ‘when me and Mummy met, we fell in love and had you. Having two children very quickly is hard on parents in a relationship and then Mummy and Daddy started to not like each other. Now, Esme, as you’ve seen, we are trying to be friends.’

As a child, I would have liked that level of honesty and candidness with my parents, but it was no more part of Ronnie and Elsie than it had been their parents, and so on and so on before. I completely understand that the openness switch was neither at their fingertips nor was it socially reinforced. Emotion could hold a working-class child back, make them unready for what was to come – what they were for. I am thankful to have been given the opportunity to have a more grounded relationship with my children. Before Albert and Esme, playing football, wrestling, doing a crossword or mock-boxing with my own dad were the happiest things I could ever imagine in my life. They go right to the heart of me. Now, I have a new happiness with my own children. And it is a happiness born of honesty.

The blight on that happiness is that I don’t live with them. I know I’ve yet to come to terms with that fact. This book will help, the increasing distance from the hospitalisation will help, but it’s something that will always hurt inside. The legal system could certainly help deliver balance for parents and children involved in separation and divorce. Hopefully, we are in the dog days of the Victorian view of men and women and their role in their children’s lives, which has led to institutional and historic bias. In the twenty-first century, an authentic emotional relationship can come from a man as much as a woman.

*

I wanted to throw a spotlight on the generations, the millions and millions, for whom ‘success’, defined as anything other than the basic survival of themselves and their family, was a concept of which they were denied to the extent that they were chained, leg, wrist and neck, to an institutionally blessed mindset of zero expectation. To those in charge of those institutions, the working class is as it describes. A production line of workers, nothing more, nothing less. People? With character, hope, intelligence, ambition? Forget it. Get back in your box and shut up.

I was asked a few years ago to go on the BBC genealogy show Who Do You Think You Are? I agreed and they started looking into my family tree. It says everything that the project went nowhere. They tugged aside the leaves on those branches and concluded, ‘Nothing to see here.’ Generations of working-class people dismissed. Individuals with their own hopes, dreams and stories. Not army generals, industrialists, vaudeville singers, but factory workers, farm labourers, cleaners, nothing in any way ‘sexy’ enough for TV.

No doubt if someone like me had popped up in the dim and distant, all would have been good. But why? My father had all my abilities, linguistically, physically, and then some. So, no doubt, did generations before him. I get that my life has been far more fulfilled than my father’s and those before him, but for me that makes him the far more interesting story. What do I know of life? I’m not driving stacker trucks all day at Colgate-Palmolive and then going to Bulmers and driving stacker trucks there all night. I’m not cleaning floors in a launderette like Mum. And yet how often is the story of the working class ever told on TV? I don’t mean the dross that is soaps. I mean properly told? The answer is less and less. Working-class stories don’t fit in boxsets. They don’t make money. They don’t fit the business model of selling to global TV. And yet they are the lives that talk to me, define me. They are the lives I find endlessly fascinating.

Christopher Eccleston, I Love the Bones of You

[thedeaditeslayer]

A conversation with cult movie favorite Bruce Campbell.

Here’s a very short and general interview with Bruce Campbell.

Playing the Frankenstein monster was the smartest professional decision film actor Boris Karloff ever made. The same can be said for Bela Lugosi, who agreed to portray Count Dracula first on stage and then in the movies. But Karloff was in his mid-forties when fortune smiled on him, and Lugosi had just turned 50. By contrast, Bruce Campbell was just 29 when he became associated with the horror film franchise that would change his life.

As a teenager growing up in Michigan, Campbell was already acting and making his own 8mm movies when he met kindred spirit Sam Raimi in high school. The two became friends over their shared love of film and were soon creating increasingly elaborate productions with Campbell in front of the camera and Raimi in the director's chair.

Their collaborations eventually yielded a 30-minute horror film called "Within the Woods." Campbell and Raimi thought the film could be made into a full-length film for theatrical release – if only they had the money to pull it off. They convinced family, friends and some Detroit businessmen to fund the project, eventually raising $350,000. The film, now called "Evil Dead," was completed in 1981.

The only problem was no theater wanted to show it.

Instead "Evil Dead" debuted in England on video where it rose to number one in 1983. After writer Stephen King pronounced it "the most ferociously original horror film of the year," New Line Cinema released it in the U.S. "Evil Dead" was so successful that it spawned a sequel, "Evil Dead II," in 1987 and another, called "Army of Darkness," in 1992.

In between those films, Campbell reveled in his newfound career, making appearances in Raimi-directed films such as "Crimewave," "Darkman" and "The Quick and the Dead" as well as films by the Coen brothers, John Carpenter and others. His hilarious bits in Raimi's three Spider-Man films with Tobey Maguire and his portrayal of Elvis Presley in the horror comedy "Bubba Ho-Tep" are further indications of why Campbell has such a huge B-movie fan following.

Campbell will be in Milwaukee on Saturday, Sept. 28 at The Pabst Theater in support of his new book, "Make Love! The Bruce Campbell Way." He'll tell stories from his career and take questions from the audience after a screening of "Evil Dead II." Prior to the show, though, Campbell shared some life experiences with OnMilwaukee.

OnMilwaukee: You began your career as an actor, but since then you've become a screenwriter, an author and a producer as well as doing voiceover work for animated films and video games. What's your professional title?

Bruce Campbell: It's easiest to just call myself an entertainer. It covers all that stuff you just mentioned.

I know you work very hard at being Bruce Campbell, but you make it all look effortless.

It's pretty simple. I love what I do. Yes, I work hard, but that's the only way to get where you want to go. Was I lucky? Sure, to a certain extent – but working at something is more effective than luck. People can talk themselves out of anything if they want to. "Oh, I'm not smart enough" or "I'm not good enough." Nobody's talented at first. I just figured it out.

Is that how you and Sam Raimi got to make the "Evil Dead" film?

I think we benefitted immensely from being together at that time. And we had a little group of friends that traded off working on each other's movies. Remember: We grew up in a time when a kid could be a kid. Those were the days when you'd leave the house in the morning and show up again around supper time. We were free-range kids. No programmed activities, no cell phones, no computers and, most importantly, no fear. We weren't afraid to fail. We were just motivated. Period.

You must have been motivated because the money you raised to make the film was a sizable figure at that time.

You bet. But we had a plan and we stuck to it. We chipped away at it slowly but surely. One of our friends had a lawyer in the family, and through that connection, we learned how to raise money the right way. We formed a legal entity with investment contracts, and we sold shares. No bullsh*t. This was all above board. For $5,000, you could buy a half share; for $10,000, a full share. $5,000 was the minimum buy-in. My mom bought in – and you know what, every year she gets a check for $11,000, and she's gotten one like that for the last 40 years. I'm proud to say that all the original investors in "Evil Dead" have made 35 times their money back as of today.

Your mom gets $11,000 every year?

That's right. I called her a few months ago and asked what she bought with the money this time. She was so excited because she bought new Anderson windows for her house!

As an actor, you've worked for A-list directors like Sam Raimi and John Carpenter. What's it like being on their set?

Well, Sam's a friend, of course, and I've worked with him a lot. But on the set, he's all business, a real tough guy. The first day of a shoot, he'll be yelling at everyone – including me – making sure that every little thing is in order. By the next day, he's calmed down, and it's more like we're pals again.

I only made one film with John Carpenter: "Escape from L.A." He was deadly serious on the set. He gave me one direction on how he wanted me to play my part and then walked away. I never spoke to him again.

Do you depend on relationships like those to get your next job?

To some extent, sure. But I've amassed a body of work in film and TV that speaks for itself. I used to go to all the parties in town, but I quickly realized that Hollywood is full of phonies, and they all go to those parties too. When I'm talking with someone, I want them to look me in the eye, not be constantly glancing around the room to see who just came in. I'll do a legitimate audition for anyone that's interested in casting me for a part, but I don't like playing the games. I moved to Oregon in 1998 so I didn't have to be in Hollywood on a daily basis.

At one time, you had a project called "Bruce vs. Frankenstein" in pre-production. Is that one still going to happen?

(Laughs) I'm not sure. "Bruce vs. Frankenstein" was conceived as a sequel to "My Name is Bruce," which was a spoof of the stuff I'd done to that point. I wanted to make this one like "The Expendables" of horror films and get as many stars as I could to be in it.

What can the audience expect at the Milwaukee show next week?

There's the screening of "Evil Dead II," which was the promoter's choice. That's consistent. But when I get on stage, it all depends on what the audience wants. Some of what I'll talk about will be extensions of things I've done at Comic-Con, but I don't ever want to be boring so I let the fans take the show and the discussion where they want it to go.

You have a new book about things that have happened since you wrote "If Chins Could Kill." Will you talk about that at the show?

Of course! "Make Love! The Bruce Campbell Way" is my first novel. I'll be signing copies for everyone. (Laughs) At the conventions, I sign quite a few boobs too! My hand used to shake when I did that, but over the years, I've gotten rather good at it. It's like eye surgery. I've only blown a few.

If you hadn't gotten the opportunities afforded you by the success of the "Evil Dead" franchise, what might you be doing for a living now?

I love the outdoors. I'd be a park ranger, yelling at kids to stop smoking dope in the forest!

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, KYLIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of NICK BOTTOM. Admin Julie: I was impressed with your app from the first word. Your voice for Nikolai is impeccable and incredibly succinct, as if I myself could hear him talking. Nik’s a tough one to pin down, given his lackadaisical view of the world and the war between the Montagues and Capulets, but you didn’t just pin him. You hit the nail on the head. I’m overjoyed and ecstatic, and simply cannot wait to see your Nikolai grace our dashboards!  Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Kylie

Age | 25

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | on a scale of 1-10 i would say i’m about a 6 or a 7!

Timezone | mst

IN CHARACTER

Character | Nick Bottom / Nikolai Borisov

What drew you to this character? |

What drew me to Nikolai initially was the sense of humor that I felt permeated his biography–I especially loved the line “Nikolai Borisov fell in with the wrong crowd with eyes wide open—waltzed right into hell and had the gall to call it toasty.” It told me that Nikolai posessed the ability to see the absurdity in the mob life–of pledging your life to a person who could give a damn wether you live or die, of taking yourself seriously enough to think that putting the lives of everyone in a city on the line for your own singular ambition is somehow in their best interests. I think humor is a large part of his character, but the longer I spent with him, trying to find his voice and being inside of his head, I came to realize that there was a dissonance between how he uses humor outwardly, and who he is internally. I think that the line that really sums it up for me is actually–”He is Frankenstein: a little mad, a little lonely, a man who dared to dream bigger than anyone else.” He wants to be around people, and he uses his humor to try and get people to like him, to decide that they want to be around him, but they have also never really understood him. I think he’s a lot like the fire he loves so much–a light in a city that thrives on darkness. But don’t be fooled, the light that he casts off is not divine in any sense of the world, its just as destructive as any good burn.

I also enjoyed the ways in which his particular form of intelligence set him apart from the others involved with the mobs—it takes real skill to be able to wire a bomb and place it in a location where it can do maximum damage, to be able to burn a building down to its foundations and avoid being caught, and Nikolai is good enough at what he does to be paid to do it by the most dangerous and important people in Verona. I was very interested in the ways that the chaos of his personality, of his habits, interact with his intelligence. It would be easy to underestimate him, to write him off as a little bit mad–but that would be a mistake, because there is always a method to his madness.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

LOOK WHO’S DIGGING THEIR OWN GRAVE

Nikolai doesn’t burn things out of anger—he does it because it brings him comfort, because in the cold where he was born you have to take warmth where you can get it, because fire is all he’s had throughout his entire life. I’d like to see him pushed, to see what exactly would cause him to think about why he does what he does—what would make him well and truly angry? Would that anger be enough to make him think twice about why he’s burning things? I’d like to see who or what he would allow to get that deep underneath his skin—would it be one of the Mobs? Would it be Pavel and his careless disregard for Nikolai’s hard work? Would it be damage to his reputation as a fireman?

ACTING OUT ALL THEIR FEARS

I’d love to dig more into Nikolai’s work with the mobs—what exactly are his parameters, what is he willing to do or not do? He’s chaotic and a little bit mad, but he’s not without pride—he thinks he’s the best fireman in the business and his work speaks to that. If he were given an opportunity to tie his allegiances to one side, would he take it? He values his independence and his ability to move around whenever he wants to highly, so whoever tried to buy his work on a more permanent basis would have to appeal to his vanity where his work is concerned. I’d also love to explore what exactly has kept him in Verona this long, when he would have normally probably moved on to a new place with new clientele.

THIS IS HOW IT FEELS TO TAKE A FALL

Nikolai has spent his entire life in motion, running from his work before he can be caught. It’s a dangerous game of inches and seconds and I’d love to play more with that—how long will it be before he spends too long admiring his work? I’d love to see how he would react if he couldn’t run fast enough, or if the person chasing him was as familiar with the back alleys of Verona as he is. What lengths would he go to to save his own skin, or would he simply bow out, knowing that every good show has to come to an end at one point or another? After all, if old Billy Shakes had kept writing after his number had been called, who’s to say that the stuff he wrote would have still been decent?  

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | of course!

IN DEPTH

What is your favorite place in Verona?

“Everyone in this town is so concerned with history.” Nikolai rolls his eyes, which are currently focused on a brown paper bag, nearly transparent with grease stains. He comes up with a fry which he unceremoniously shoves into his mouth, using his free hand to gesture wildly, with no real concern with what exactly he’s pointing at. “Over there is the bridge that His Holiness Pope Who Cares commissioned in 1189 B.C.E, in that museum you can see the dick picks that Leonardo Da Vinci painted and sent to Michelangelo’s house at three in the morning with a note asking if he was still up, and over there is the cathedral where Mario and Luigi pretended to care about religion, so that their dad wouldn’t get mad at them later.”

He pops another fry into his mouth and shrugs his shoulders as he brushes the salt off onto his jeans–denim with grease stains that could probably match the ones on the paper bag. “Where I’m from, in Russia, is the furthest North you can be without hitting the Arctic. There is no history there–the snow and ice get everything before it has a chance to acquire any kind of meaning. A building is just a building–none of it matters because you’re so concerned with surviving.” He shakes his head, and if anyone had been looking for it they would have seen his expression falter–the kind of melancholy that gets tinged with nostalgia and harder to explain the further you move away from it, the more you transform from the person in the memory. He’s quick to grin again, a little too sharp around the edges–a little too hungry, his father had once called it, after Nikolai had laughed at him when he’d asked about the black marks on his son’s hands. Wolfish.

“Anyway, that’s not what you asked, is it? My favorite places in Verona are the ones that don’t really fit–the abandoned warehouse next to the ornate cathedral. The street art on the side of a museum full of treasures. The shitty looking diner run by someone’s grandmother next to the Michelin star restaurant. The places that are never gonna end up in someone’s history book.”

What does your typical day look like?

Nikolai scoffs before he starts to cackle, a loud sound that draws the attention of people passing by—but come on, what a stupid question. Does he really look like the kind of guy who has days that are typical? He’s eating fast food on a park bench during the hours when other people are hard at work, his legs folded up underneath him. “Anyone who does enough of the same shit to have their days be considered typical is sad.”

He shrugs his shoulders, drapes an arm over the back of the bench. “I’m not going to daily yoga classes or brunch if that’s what you’re after. I go wherever the spirit moves me, whenever it moves me, and I’m rarely ever bored. Unless I’m on a job–” His grin turns into a kind of smirk, and he chuckles. “Then I have a routine. But those specifics are only obtainable by cash–and unless you’re hiding a hell of a lot in places that are hard to see? You’re not gonna get them.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

He can remember every detail of that day with photographic clarity–the outfits of the people that had walked by on the street, the look on that smug bastard’s face and the shrieking of his laughter as he had hauled ass in the opposite direction, the way the ash had practically glittered in the sunlight. It would have been beautiful, had it not been three hours too early, had it not been everything he had built for himself that had gone up in gorgeous plumes of smoke and red-orange flames. It had been the first time he’d looked at a fire and felt something other than overwhelming sense of comfort, a sense of belonging in the world that could only come with leaving an irrevocable mark on the landscape. Instead he had looked at the smoldering remains of that particular building and felt fear–the fear that he would well and truly be on his own this time. That he would never feel warm again.

He blinks and tries to school his face into something unaffected, but he’s certain that he misses the mark–he’s never been good at judging where normal should be. “When you do what I do, you can’t really afford to make mistakes. One mistake and you’re a heap of ashes where a person used to be standing, y’know? But when I was starting out I made a lot of the typical rookie mistakes–I’d be surprised if I still had fingerprints.” He laughs again, and this time he feels it reach to the corners of his mouth.

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

Nikolai shakes his head and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket, his left hand immediately finding the lighter that’s nestled securely in the fabric. His fingers move over the familiar outlines, the places where the finish is worn off from repeated handling–difficult begins and ends with this familiar weight in the palm of his hand. Difficult rarely ever stands up to the all consuming power of a good burn. “The job isn’t difficult–not when you’re good at it. The hardest part has been staying in one place for so long–normally I’d have left this place for somewhere new a hell of a long time ago.” He exhales, and tilts his face up towards the sky so that he can feel the warmth of the sun. It’s the boredom that worries him most of all, that makes him wonder when it will be time to leave Verona and her criminal underworld behind for good–it might be better for him to get gone before the place can drain the creativity from him permanently.

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

“It pays the bills.” He shrugs and grins–a slow reveal of teeth, too many teeth to be considered friendly or casual. “What do I care if they tear each other apart in the same of some bullshit history between them? The minute it dries up I’m out of here and onto the next batch of maniacs just like them.”

EXTRAS

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Félicia Atkinson (Tiny Mix Tapes interview)

The multidisciplinary artist and Shelter Press proprietor talks polyphony, pregnancy, and pizza ahead of new album “The Flower and the Vessel”

I‘m no authority, but from what I’ve gathered, having a baby isn’t easy. That’s why I was quite impressed when I met up with Félicia Atkinson, Bartolomé Sanson, and their child (about half a year old, at the time) at a pizza place in Los Angeles. The exhausted couple had flown out from France, where they live and run Shelter Press together. They had lasted two days at the always-overcrowded, over-noisy, and overwhelming L.A. Art Book Fair; Atkinson had played a set in town for a large, captivated audience, and — wedged between the installation of a gallery show that would open only days later with Félicia reading her poetry — they made enough time and found enough energy to sit down with me for an hour or two.

Atkinson seemed to have no other mode of being than to speak with warmth, thought, and care. Talking points include her previous work, as well as her excellent new album (predominately produced during her own pregnancy) The Flower and The Vessel, out July 5 on Shelter Press.

First I want to talk a bit about Shelter Press and what you find meaningful about it. Why is it important to you to have your own press and label?

I think for many reasons. First, it’s teamwork. Bartolomé actually does the press more than myself; we make all the decisions together, but on a day-to-day basis, I’m not handling all the small things. It’s more Bartolomé that is working on it. But it’s very important for us to be independent and also for my music to be able to have my own home. I’m not pressured by any deadlines. We can talk about and think about the record very far ahead. And since we are also a couple, I find that we can talk about the record all day long. There is this thing where life and work is mixing, which, for me, is important because I don’t think I can make music from 9 to 5. Having your own label also allows you to — I think — be very exigent, because you can delay things and say, “Oh, I’m not ready to do this record yet. I need more time.” So that’s very important.

Also, in terms of format and in terms of sales, there is no pressure. I do not have this pressure of making something of a certain kind, because, also at Shelter Press, we don’t have a special kind of music we release. It’s more people we are into, and it’s more the personality of people that interests us rather than a style. Never considered ourselves even an ambient label at all. So this idea of being independent, building your own house, making things grow in there.

That’s interesting. I saw on the Shelter Press website that you say something about how it’s not an ambient label, but something… you use the word “abstract.” This reflected something I’d been feeling about your music as well. It fits less into ambient or experimental — even in terms of musique concrète or something — as we understand those as modes of working. It doesn’t quite fit into those, and it seems that this distinction really comes from the process itself. That you’re building it as you’re living life. It’s fully integrated.

Completely.

It sounds like even having your own press/label is part of that, built into the creative process.

Exactly. And these are layers — there is the art, the music, making books and records, writing — and all those layers make a whole puzzle and they are those pieces. So it is abstraction, but it is also something like… musique concrète means something material, something that is tangible, that is solid. And I like the idea that you can, at the same time, be abstract but signify things and use materials that are from the daily life. So, it’s a negotiation, because sometimes I also really like the idea of showing an image. I think my latest record shows, somehow, sometimes, images through the titles or words.

Do you mean Hand In Hand?

The Flower and The Vessel, the newest one. But even the one before. It’s always navigating between where I should go? Until everyone sees what I see? Or should I suggest before it at the threshold of the things and leave this kind of myopic vision where we’re not completely closed and then we are very much in between abstraction and configuration? Our eyes are a little bit too close.

Yeah, that’s really interesting. I’ve gotten to listen to The Flower and the Vessel a couple times, and it feels like there’s more things to latch onto throughout the record than a lot of your recent work. I would say it’s more compositionally driven and also more varied in sound textures. It moves a lot more. Uniformity was characteristic of Hand in Hand.

Completely. Yeah, because Hand in Hand was really inspired by the desert. This idea of something that is flat. I wanted the record to be a little bit like the moon. Whereas with The Flower and the Vessel, I was also inspired by this idea of polyphony. I’m reading this book called Polyphonic Minds, and it explains the history of polyphony in music and how using different voices is also a way to think politically, and the idea that, sometimes, unison can be interesting and mystical and whatever, but sometimes you need polyphony. You need the idea that there is not one voice, and that, actually, we can’t truly compete with everybody, and we should keep the chaos or the cacophony, the diversity of it. And then, OK, if you relate to that, you need to compose more; otherwise it’s a mess. So, in order to keep this polyphony instead of cacophony, to make it melodic or musical, it allows you to be more in the composition, because you need to find space for everything.

So do you feel that, because you’re approaching this polyphonic composition, you approached this record with more intent towards the end result than you have with previous records? Or do you think that’s not quite on the mark?

Maybe. Maybe a little bit in the way that I think I wanted more, different rooms in the architecture of the record. Hand in Hand was less, less — more monolithic in the project, in the concept of it, I wanted to do something that was a solid rock. The Flower and the Vessel is very inspired by flower arrangement — ikebana, meaning this art of life, of picking things and making different arrangements every day. So, there was this idea of something that changes that has different colors and then the different tracks can go very dark, and you have to have highs. Something way more happy and dreamy and then very melancholic. I wanted different moods. I wanted it to be more about the sensation and a different kind of climate. Something very humid, almost tropical. Cold tropical, like tropics in the winter.

It also seems that you’re using voice a lot more… Or, not a lot more, but more clearly. More upfront. The record begins with you speaking, and so that was something I noticed immediately. But also I just read your essay for the Spectres book, in which you talk about using language and using English specifically, because it’s secondary to you.

Absolutely.

And then, for me, as someone who only speaks English, I’ve already engaged with your music from a level of voice-as-texture, or as a melodic element when you’re speaking french. So I guess I wondered your thoughts on when you use speech — like the clarity of the voice.

I think it’s this idea of… There are many layers — the idea of reciprocity. When I speak French and you don’t understand, there is a kind of exchange there. Almost like a trade, where, [thereafter], I’m going to speak in English and be in the position of the one that is not “not understanding” but taking the meaning of it aside, because I’m going to use one a different way. But also it’s more, and that’s when the thing that was really interesting making this album is this idea of inside-outside, the flower and the vessel, how to hold, how voices go in and out. I was pregnant, so it was also like, how, while I’m recording, someone is listening from the inside. And, myself, I am in between. I am porous. I’m inside and I’m outside. The record hints at this, and the voices go and go out, and we are in flux. And we are just energies that are traveling.

I think music, the beauty of music, is that it travels. It goes through the walls. Voice, then, is like a metaphor of that for me also. Because, I mean, we die, and the voice stays when it’s recorded, and it’s so incredible. This idea of this thing that is a bit like Frankenstein; you extract the voice of someone and then [what’s] there is not the voice, but the recording of the voice. There is an illusion. But then it’s like a character somehow.

Yeah, I wonder if you’ve had any developing feelings about recording your voice and about using music as this sort of mode of communication with the outside world as you’ve moved forward in your career as well. Like, if that’s changed for you at all. I know you ended your project Je Suis Le Petit Chevalier. That was specifically a project that was…

With no voice.

Yeah. And ultra-productive, in a DIY mode.

Completely. It was on purpose; it was really like drawing notebooks. And I really wanted that, because I feel that was a good time, this moment where there were so many blogs and the scene was completely flourishing and there was this possibility of trying things every day, and sharing — it’s like thinking out loud, basically. Opening your studio: “Hey, I’m making music — oh, I made a song today.” I really enjoyed it, and I really needed it, and it was a beautiful experience. And now, I don’t know if it’s because I am older, because maybe in 10 years I am going to have this wish of coming back to that. I don’t know if you can tell this is a young project and this will be old, but now I needed something that is more carved, more structured. But it doesn’t mean that maybe later I will be more into experimentation again. I think there are phases. And at some moment, you need to put yourself at risk again and say, “I’m going to share this draft because I am bored with finished products.”

Yeah, sure.

But for now, my ambition was to change the scale and then the voice appeared. And voice is complicated. When I was younger, I stopped using my voice for a while, because also it was a different time, being a girl, playing in a band. There was always this expectation of “Oh, you’re a girl. You’re a singer.” And this is why I was using the name Je Suis Le Petit Chevalier. It was neutral; it means, “I am a little knight.” It’s even more masculine than feminine in that sentence. I wanted this gender transparency where there is no gender. I’m a little knight, whoever, and I’m not using my voice, I’m not giving this to the audience […], I want to disappear on stage. I want to do a music that is erasing any projection, which is fantasy, because it’s impossible to disappear, right? I needed that. Something very abstract. Naive also, because you want to be abstract but you will never, because whatever you do, you show yourself. But I wanted to be hidden somehow.

After a while I didn’t find this desire anymore. Now I want to go back to my name, and I feel confident enough to acknowledge I’m a woman, and I think I can use my voice again, because I think it’s my choice, and it’s not an expectation anymore. But it wasn’t easy. It’s not something that came right away, and in general, I think my way of working is very slow. I need to try things and experiment — this is why it’s experimental — it’s not theory. First, I need to experiment with it, and then I understand what I’m doing.

Well, related to what you’re saying about how you were feeling about gender and voice: I was wondering about the new record being, as the liner notes say, “a record not about being pregnant but a record made with pregnancy.” This fact that it puts voice up front, it seems that the voice is speaking directly. Is that related to the fact that it was written during pregnancy or…?

It was. ItI find it very interesting the fact that, as I said before, all of us, the way you use your body to use your voice is felt completely differently, because you’re speaking with someone inside you, growing, and it’s very weird. [Laughs]

I’m sure.

And wonderful. And I felt, well, I was a bit curious and… I don’t know, it might have happened before, for sure, women recording pregnant and I have no clue. They never mention it. And I find it a bit sad. Then I thought, well, actually, it interests me to know that it’s not a taboo, you know? So, first it was like curiosity: just what it is to — in general — make things grow, you know? And carrying something. And I was carrying the project of the record. At the same time, I was carrying the project of having a baby, and you have to be so cautious in everything and at the same time you move mountains almost. But it’s never been about it. It was just — moving the mountains with what I had with me.

I also wanted to ask about your interest in ASMR. I don’t know how extensive that is or…

F: It’s very strange. First, I never knew about ASMR.

Bartolomé: The first review you had, for The Readymade Ceremony, it was your album before Hand in Hand. It was a lot of talk about ASMR, and we were like, “What is it about?” At first, we were just not paying attention. And you get Pitchfork, and it was really the beginning of you getting critical praise about your music, and it was the headline of the article. Pitchfork was like, “She’s doing this new music blending experimental music with ASMR.” We were like, “OK, maybe we should google it.” And then we discovered this thing, and yeah.

F: It was very surprising.

It’s actually interesting, because I read it elsewhere more than I saw it coming from you. And when I think about it, I don’t feel like your music does the same thing.

Bartolomé: And you never watched it. I told you about it, because I checked, but you never saw a proper ASMR video on YouTube — like, a girl whispering in front of their cam. You have no idea what it is.

F: But for me also, it’s not at all. It can’t be video, because it’s about whispering for me — the interest of whispering. Because it’s not about ASMR; it’s about whispering and field recording. Like when I listen to Luc Ferrari: the reference was Luc Ferrari, it was not ASMR. It’s more French musique concrète, and it’s very erotic, because he’s listening to the sea and a woman speaking and… So there is this, an embodiment; I think they are related to ASMR, but doing more also. It’s like a novel. There is something from literature in it, audiobook.

Bartolomé: Maybe it also has to do with the way you record.

Oh, yeah.

Bartolomé: You really come from a DIY background, and it’s not like “I need to record a voice and I will pay a fancy studio.” It’s just like, “I will record my voice with my laptop or even the built-in mic in your computer.”

F: Yeah. I take my blanket and I record myself under it. [Their baby cries] I can hold him a bit.

Bartolomé: No, it’s okay.

F: And that’s, for me, important. That, for this record, I recorded in studio and, again, in a hotel room and at home. And I like both. I like the proximity of the iPhone or whatever phone it is.

Yeah.

Because it’s great. You can do it everywhere. And also sometimes it’s nice to have a good mic because you can really pronounce the words with something like ASMR.

Yeah, that was actually my question about ASMR. It feels like so much of the functional side of ASMR, which is to produce tingles…

That was never my goal.

Right. And the fact that you manipulate your whispering — you add delay or you layer elements — almost eliminates the possibility of that.

Completely, because it’s never linear. It’s more — I like when there are breaks. Also, I never have a clear purpose of efficiency. That would be the opposite of my way of working. Because I believe in freedom of the listener also. And I hate being told what I have to do, so I’m not at all expecting the listener to do something particular. It would be a bit vulgar to say, “I want you to have pleasure listening.” No. Let’s, together — the listener and the musician — build a shaped form and question it.

That’s interesting. So I actually first encountered your music with Hand in Hand. I think when I first heard it, I was a little bit confused and maybe frustrated with how I should listen to it.

Ah, good! [Laughs]

Yeah, which sounds like it is ideal. Because I couldn’t tell if it was to be listened in an ambient context, like as I was saying earlier. Or if it should be focused listening, and I think it really does lead to a sort of wandering listening.

Good, I love this, this term: “wandering listening” — it’s nice. Because it means that you’re oscillating from one point to another. We just installed my exhibition today for a show I have tomorrow, and it’s about that. It’s fabric connecting parts, and the viewer is in the middle, always trying to find where he is. And I think a listener is sort of the same. Like, there is not one point to listen to; there is more like a walk or something to wander through and find.

You know, actually, I was looking at some of your installation documentation, and there was one that stood out to me. I should have written the title down, but it was with the wanderer’s sack.

Ah, yeah. The Only Luggage of the Lonely Wanderer. It’s the metaphor of the work. There is this bundle, and you don’t know what’s inside, which for me was very important, because you never completely know things, and you don’t want to know. Not because it’s agony, but just because it’s good not to know everything — magical, mystery.

Yeah, it’s very nice. In a couple places I was reading, I’ve seen that you have sort of a troubled relationship with the fact that many of your literary influences are men.

Ah, yeah, I said that some time.

And then, in an interview, 15 Questions was the site, you said, “Also, as a woman I feel it’s important to reinterpret, rephrase things or sounds that were said by men and perform a sex change operation on them.” Which I like, and I kind of want to hear more about that thought…

Well, it’s changing now, because for this record, I was very inspired by Joan Didion, by Marguerite Duras who is a French writer, a woman writer. But when I was writing that, I was reading Henry Miller and Jack Kerouac, and then I was thinking, “Damn, it would be so nice to go back to the beat generation, only through a more open point of view, a more gender-open point of view than those dudes drinking and being horrible most of the time.” And even if I was enjoying their books, I didn’t know if I would be friends with those guys, you know? That’s why I really needed an idea to… there’s an exhibition also about redoing some artworks, revisiting that and also because in the history of music, now we discover so many women who made electro-acoustic [music] and [other] things. The history is getting better now, and it’s not only about females in general. How we discover all kinds of minorities that are composers and that they were composers; it was a totally different story. And fortunately now, there are new historians trying to make it more equal. But yeah, narration, being able to, for example, how can I say, invent yourself differently through music. That’s very important.

Yeah, it’s so funny with the beat stuff. Maggie Nelson, who wrote the “cruelty” book that I mentioned earlier, she calls Allen Ginsberg one of the “many-gendered mothers of [her] heart.” So she kind of does a similar thing.

Ah, voila! Exactly! Oh, we have to meet! But it’s easier now I think, because I really feel like when I started music, I was so impressed and I really thought it was difficult as a woman to make music, and that, in 10 years, 15 years, everything has changed and… even to do a soundcheck, it’s way easier now. I wouldn’t say that it’s always easy, but it’s way easier.

Just like, the vibe you get from the sound guy?

Yeah. Things are moving.

I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about the cover of Hand in Hand. I think the yoga pose has a nice relationship to what your music does. So I was wondering if you could tell me a bit more about where it came from or why you used it.

F: So I did this score for “A Dance A House A Poem,” which is one track of Hand in Hand.

Bartolomé: It’s the first track of Side C.

F: C1. Anyway, which was about the letter A. I published it as a poetry zine, and on the first page was a map of an A-frame house. And I performed it with a friend who’s a dancer. And we just really used the A. And, actually, this score was performed by a CalArts student last year for the Allison Knowles anniversary project. It was really nice to see the student do it. And so, talking these ideas we were looking at postures with the letter A, and we thought about downward dog in yoga, which is really like an A frame and… I loved it, because it was so simple. It’s a letter, it’s a note, it’s a body. So it’s many things [at] the same time; it’s almost magical. Just this perfect symbol. And it’s rotating, the image, the way I did the collage, so there is also this idea of the phase of something, like a clock almost. Changing, like the moon phase. So, since I’m interested in many different arts, it’s true that it was like a kind of metaphor [for] the way I work. Like, I’m going to take a topic and try in several mediums to understand this art, to question it.

Yeah. Part of what I was interested in was also the context it suggested for your music. Where the music, you have an interest in mindfulness via deep listening. But it wouldn’t be quite functional “yoga music.”

No, because there is trouble inside. And, for me, that’s always important, to keep the trouble — in this way, because I think deep listening is about that. If you read Cage or Oliveros, they talk about the noise of the street, and it’s not to act like there is no noise; it’s just to embrace the noise we hear.

Right.

So it’s not just “let’s be quiet” and… it’s more like, “OK, we live in a noisy world, and let’s take the noise with us and try to listen to it” but in the same way the arrangement of flowers on the new record plays with this ambiguity, because it can just look like, “Oh it’s just flowers in a pot.” But it’s also this act of making a bouquet, whether it’s ikebana, and it’s really a philosophy of life, which is, we can think ikebana every day and how to arrange things in a vase and find everywhere this ikebana logic and combine things to make something that is harmonious in the cares of the world. So actually, the two covers tell the same thing.

Which is so interesting, because like what you were saying about mindfulness and meditation, about listening and embracing the noise, is actually probably more at heart with the philosophy of meditation. But when we think about meditation music in the West, it’s like a bastardization of that.

Totally. This is why I like these recordings, because I don’t see them as… I use a lot of words in my latest record, and it’s not to make it nice. It’s maybe to say, “Oh a bird can always pass through the sun.” We’re gonna raise it. We’re gonna take it with us and there is this change, this thing that we don’t control everything and that I bring in joy when I am recording. Surprising sounds.

And then, also I was listening to your very first records, La La La and Roman Angles, and they kind of use songs as the primary source. Do you have any interest in songs still?

Oh, I do. I listen to a lot of pop music and indie rock music, and I enjoy, for example, the latest Low album, because I’ve always loved Low and I feel that they are tremendous at always making songs, but at the same time being so adventurous in the way they treated that. But I think, in that regard, the latest album is the most melodic record I ever made. And maybe one day I’ll make songs, but also I don’t know. I am not a singer at all. And at the beginning, I was trying to make songs that, if we come back to this idea of ikebana, it would be “I have a pot, let’s find the flowers.” And now I’m like “let’s find the flowers, and then let’s find the pot.” I reverse the way.

And I prefer that. So, maybe my songs will never look like songs, but there is this conflict between: should I do “serious” music or should I do “songs?” And, am I a composer or am I just a — not pop in the sense popular, but a… less-educated musician? And DIY vs. education. And I think this kind of social complex or ambiguity between where I am standing interests me. And I’m OK to be in between. And then, if I think of Joan La Barbara or Yoko Ono or even Laurie Anderson, they were always in between. They were not, like, “I’m the composer,” and they were not completely pop musicians either; they were in this kind of tension of the world. And I think this hesitation is for me interesting.

Yeah as you’re saying that, I’m thinking about how it’s been a realm that seemed to open, especially with like — god, I’m just thinking of this Spotify playlist that I keep seeing […] called “Women of Experimental.”

I mean, it’s good in the sense that now people can’t say that they don’t know that there are women in experimental music; it’s a handbook. Like, “Hey, it exists. You should book them.” You can’t say, “I don’t have ideas; this is why I’m not booking them.”

Totally.

But it’s nothing else than a handbook.

And it’s still like a Spotify playlist putting together a “category.” But, that said, I do think about the people who might end up in that playlist and how they are negotiating the fact that they’re expected to be the singer. Julia Holter is coming to mind, how she’s kind of negotiating the fact that she’s expected to sing songs, and she put out Tragedy, which is…

Which is such a great record.

So great. And just refuses that sort of thing for her.

And it’s so nice to call it — the fact that she called her album Tragedy is great. It says what it is, like, “Dude, we were expecting something and you turned it into something else.”

Yeah.

That’s… the real drama.

In that regard, I was just wondering if you feel like that had some of the same impulse, like you’re turned away from songs as your lack of use of voice in your other project at all.

It’s also, I don’t think I always… let’s reverse it. It’s more about desire than disgust. So it’s more, “Oh, I remember that how I listen to, because my dad — he’s still listening to a lot of contemporary music. And so this is what shaped me as a kid. I was, on one hand, as a teenager listening to Nirvana and, I don’t know, Sonic Youth, and then on the other hand listening to Robert Ashley when I was 12. Okay, well let’s… Depending on the time, sometimes I think a desire to acknowledge a part of it and not another and play with it. But this is why I like Robert Ashley also. He made an opera for television. So he was embracing the two worlds: the world of university and the world of domestic manners as TV. And I think it’s nice to navigate between both. I made music for a supermarket last year. I just asked the supermarket, “Can I play the music in your supermarket?” And at first, they were a bit like, “Are you sure? Maybe it’s not good for our staff, because it’s very quiet?”

Whoa.

And I said, “Yes, but let’s try it one day.” I think it’s nice to be in the real world, because this is where we are, but it’s nice to make serious music but also nice to make music for pizza, because this is the way we are made.

That’s great. That’s all I have.

Oh! It’s a good conclusion!

~

By Leah B. Levinson · July 1, 2019

[hxnryjekyll]

Every. Other. Question. (Love you 😘)

I love you sweetheart but I’m gonna suffer answering all of these, I know it sdhfjbdhfbdj 2. Is your room messy or clean? It’s messy by most standards, but clean in the sense that I know where everything is and organized in its own way 4. Do you like your name? Why? I do!! My full name is a culmination of names picked out with my boyfriend and my first name, Henry, from a favorite book character ;P 6. Describe your personality in 3 words or lesssoft, musical, peachy 8. What kind of car do you drive? Color? I don’t drive one cause I’m not having that mess 10. How would you describe your style? either entirely comfort clothes or vaguely threatening with everything in between 12. What size bed do you have? I have a full size bed!! 14. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why? Anywhere with my boyfriend is lovely~ 16. Favorite makeup brands? Whatever I like and doesn’t destroy my face :^D18. Favorite tv show? oh gosh uhhh I guess like Gordon Ramsay shows and B9920. How tall are you? I think last I checked I am a little over 5′4″

22. Do you go to the gym? Noooooooo24. How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? I dunno cause my boyfriend has my wallet currently eifbjdhg26. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two, I use one though and the other stays on my bed for my boyfriend/as a cuddle thing for when I miss him 28. How many friends do you have? I guess a solid 2, which includes my bf 30. What’s your favorite candle scent?Mmmm probably lavender and vanilla and warm, cinnamon kinds 32. 3 favorite girl names? Lucy, Kaye, and Clara 34. Favorite actress? AAAA too many to choose from, probably Grace McLean as a safe choice who performs/acts as Marya in TGCo181236. Favorite movie? Oooo~~ Baby Driver, The Prince of Egypt, The Addams Family, Victor Frankenstein, Rocky Horror Picture Show,,, and a lot more 38. Money or brains? Brains, I’d prefer to love someone, myself or another, and be content with their abilities and personality as a person rather than monetary gain 40. How many times have you been to the hospital? A few times, a couple for me, but mostly for others 42. Do you take any medications daily? I used to take birth control, but that made me feel sick all the time so I stopped 44. What is your biggest fear? Oh gosh,,, probably losing the love of my life, being alone and forgotten, and heights 46. What’s your go to hair style? Uhhhh whatever the heck it wants to do 48. Who is your role model? Ummm probably one of my teachers and my boyfriend tbh 50. What was the last text you sent? “JSVSJHSBSHSHD BABY BLEASE” 52. What is your dream car? Don’t have one really cause I don’t like driving54. Do you go to college? Hopefully I will be soon 56. Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? More rural areas I suppose, like a little out of a small town/village would be cool58. Do you have freckles? Yes!! Around my body in some places60. How many pictures do you have on your phone? 3,444,,,62. Do you still watch cartoons? Oh hell yeah!!!!64. Favorite dipping sauce? K e t c h u p

66. Have you ever won a spelling bee? Not that I know of, no

68. Can you draw? Yeah!! Pretty well I think 70. What was the last concert you saw? I haven’t been to one truthfully, I have been in some though ;0 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Considering I go to DD every other day I’m going to have to say them 74. What is your crush’s first and last initials? RC~~ aka my bf’s initials ;P

76. What color looks best on you? Oh goodness I don’t know,,, I lean towards dark blues and reds a lot though 78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed 80. What is your biggest pet peeve? Bigoted people,,, annoying/obnoxious people, there’s more, but I can’t really think of them82. Favorite ice cream flavor? Hmmm mint chocolate chip or cookies n’ creme84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow!!!!86. What is your phone background? My boyfriend and I cuddling with my cat 88. Do you like it when people play with you hair? Yes, but only when it’s my bf doing it really 90. Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning? I usually just put a mix of witch hazel and tea tree oil on it when I need it 92. Have you ever been drunk? No, I have drank before though ;P94. Favorite lyrics right now? You didn't have to look my wayYour eyes still haunt me to this dayBut you did. Yes, you didFrom Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffes96. Day or night? Night~ Cause I can be a sleepy boy and cuddle and snuggle 98. Favorite month? Hmmm Tied between October and November~100. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My bf @spiritoflondonatnight cause I am a big ol weepy boy and so is he Thank you so much anon~ ;0

[pomp-adourable]

Pomp Recommends: LibriVox Audiobooks

[LibriVox] is a website that offers free audiobook recordings of classic literature in the public domain! So what does that mean, exactly?

Books that are in the public domain means that they are “in a state of belonging to, or being available to the public as a whole, and is not subject to copyright.”  Pretty much means the books are so old that nobody owns the copyright to them, so anybody can use them or read them for free! It ALSO means that many of these books do not have audiobook recordings.

So the LibriVox Objective is “to make all books in the public domain available, for free, in audio format on the internet”!  Their fundamental principals are that LibriVox is non-commercial, non-profit, ad free, and powered by volunteers.

So any book, story, poem, or play that you can think of, that’s in the public domain, probably has an audio recording on LibriVox!  There are 3 types of readings you can find. Solo readings, where the entire book is read by one person. Collaborative readings, where each chapter of the book is read by a different person. And Dramatic readings, where each character in the book is read by a different person. Dramatic readings are my absolute favorite!

I have about a 40 minute commute to work each day, both ways.  That’s an hour and 20 minutes that I used to spend listening to music that I’ve heard over and over. I decided I wanted to better utilize that time for learning, so I downloaded a bunch of Audiobooks from LibriVox and have been listening to them on my daily drives for a few months now! I’m going to recommend the ones I’ve listened to so far!  I’d like to say though, that LibriVox is powered entirely by volunteers.  Audio quality may vary from recording to recording.

[Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll]

This was the first book I ever listened to from LibriVox, and I really adored it. The narrator and Alice were both so charming, and were excellent readers.  There were a few characters whose recordings were... a little LOUDER than everyone else *coughWhiteRabbitCough* and every time they’d speak it would be a little startling. But ultimately, still a fantastic listen. And there are also several Solo and Collaborative recordings of this book, if the dramatic reading isn’t your style.

[Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley]

My favorite reading from Librivox, by far. The reader for Frankenstein, and for the Creature, were absolutely outstanding. I liked the reader for Frankenstein so much, that I went to his profile to see what else he’s read,and downloaded three of his solo projects because I liked him so much!

[Dracula by Bram Stoker]

While Frankenstein was my favorite reading, Dracula was my favorite story. I just wish it had been narrated a little differently.  Dracula is written entirely through a series of journals, diaries and letters, so each character read their own personal journals and letters. It felt more like a collaborative reading than a dramatic one. I wish instead they had given different voices to each individual character, but alas. We can’t have everything! Despite all that, this was STILL a very dramatic, intense and chilling listen, and I highly recommend it!

There are several more books I’ve downloaded, but haven’t gotten to listen to yet.  They include [The Phantom of the Opera], [The Turn of the Screw], an assortment of [stories by H.P. Lovecraft], [A Christmas Carol], [The Legend of Sleepy Hollow] and [The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde].

If you like classic literature in the public domain, I highly recommend you check out LibriVox and download some of their excellent audiobooks for free uwu!

[paperbackharlot-blog]

For the last couple of years I have been trying to refine the way I keep myself organised. These have come in various guises over the years and each year I try to improve the efficiency of my system. This is the first year though that I am truly trying to embrace the bullet journal as a repository for all my comings and goings (and often brain vomit too).

Now, I know a lot of people like to hand draw their bujo’s and fill them with what can only be described as calligraphic pornography, but that way just isn’t going to work for me. For one thing, my creativity has always been best utilised through digital means. I’ve never been much of one for drawing but also, realistically, I know I just don’t have the time to lay out all those beautiful and intricate pages by hand. Even with the best will in the world and much as I would like to, I know that I suck at sticking to things if they don’t fit comfortably within my already established routines. That’s why I’ve never managed to stick to long hand journaling for more than a few weeks before and why my previous attempts at bullet journal’s haven’t ever been quite as helpful and efficient as I need them to be.

So I took everything I’ve learned from my past experiences and put them together into my new, improved, proper bujo for 2017.

Here’s the format I decided on:

Firstly, it’s A5. I learnt last year that anything bigger than this that won’t fit easily into most of my handbags isn’t going to get filled in. It’s just not convenient and if I can’t carry it with me, it’s not getting filled in.

Secondly, it’s spiral bound. I settled on this so I could easily pull it apart and thread it together again and without too much hassle can choose to add in extra pages at a later date if I so wish. The book itself is actually designed to be a sketchbook. It’s just a cheap one so I wouldn’t actually recommend the paper weight as being high enough for watercolours, say, but it is thick enough that my pens are going to have a hard time bleeding through on the other side.

After I decided on the format I started designing the pages in Photoshop. I made them all black and white with the intention of decorating and colouring them as I filled them out. I did a fair bit of research on Pinterest (where else?) first and from this inspiration I brought together all my ideas into one great Frankenstein of a layout plan that would suit my needs.

2017 at a glance

Movies record

TBR shelf

The contents are as follows:

2017 at a glance

3 page year planner (for birthdays and key dates)

Monthly spread including:

a habit/mood tracker

a diary of events

a to do list

a blank page for brain vomit

Weight tracker

Savings tracker

Self care advice

Movies archive

Books read and to be read archive

I know many people like weekly or even daily breakdowns but again, this is too much detail and pressure for me to stay on top of. I’d spend more time recording things than actually doing them, which doesn’t make for being very productive.

Monthly layout

Prior to this year my bullet journals were really just diaries to help me manage my month but with added lists stuck in here and there but this time I tried to really concentrate on things I wanted to track in advance.

One thing I want to focus on this year is self care and my own mental wellbeing so that was the driving force behind the habit and mood tracker. The idea being that it will help me form new (healthy) habits as well as provide clear evidence of what happens to my mood when I either do or don’t keep up with them, hopefully motivating me to stick with it if I can see real gains.

Habit and mood tracker

We shall see how the format goes. A couple of weeks in and I’m already seeing the benefit of the mood and habit tracker and I love having a colourful and creative space to record my books and movie choices. A few people at work have seen it over my shoulder in the office and I’ve had some lovely compliments about the layout and design which is a nice boost too. One thing I feel like I am missing as a result of not having a weekly spread is a place to meal plan and/or record a shopping list, something which I find really useful when I’m a. on a diet and b.trying to save money. So this might be something I choose to incorporate next year.

I’m a great believer that to lead a fulfilling, creative and productive life takes a certain amount of discipline. I’m a huge advocate of The Action Method as set out by Scott Belsky in his book ‘Making Ideas Happen‘ and my bujo fits into that mentality well.

Here’s to an exciting, happy and productive 2017.

My 2017 bullet journal For the last couple of years I have been trying to refine the way I keep myself organised.

[insidethehourglass]

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Yes

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? No. I mean, I talked to someone I used to date, but I wouldn’t really say she’s my ex.

3. Have you taken someones virginity? Yes

4. Is trust a big issue for you? uhhhhh I don’t know. I feel like it’s not something I think about a lot, but I don’t really trust anybody.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? I saw my boyfriend yesterday if that counts

6. What are you excited for? Nothing

7. What happened tonight? I saw an old friend and actually left my house

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? No

9. Is confidence cute? I guess. Anything can be cute. I don’t look for confidence, though. I’m not a very confident person.

10. What is the last beverage you had? A chocolate almond-milk milkshake

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? I don’t fully trust anybody

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Yes

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Who knows?

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Food, probably. Like groceries. Or gas.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yes

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I have a pretty unstable identity and personality, so probably

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? I don’t know. I feel like I keep certain things from each person in my life.

18. The last time you felt broken? Every day

19. Have you had sex today? Nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything? I.. don’t. know..

21. Are you in a good mood? Uh. I think I’m starting to dissociate. I’m not really understanding my emotions right now

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Not really

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? No

24. What do you want right this second? Nothing? I don’t know.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I’d ask if he still wanted to be with me. I’d also ask if maybe we should explore an open relationship. Monogamy really isn’t that big of a deal to me. I think I might be poly-amorous? But if he’d prefer to be with somebody else, and he’d be happier, then that’s what he should do.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Nope

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Lol what is laughter? I actually don���t think I’ve laughed today.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? I don’t know.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? No probably not

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Nope

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yes

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Kind of. I drink soda once in awhile, like when I go to the movies. But that’s pretty much it.

34. Listening to? nothing right now

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Yes

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Mhmm

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? I don’t know. I fell for my current boyfriend pretty much right away

38. Who did you last call? Shit. I don’t know.

39. Who was the last person you danced with? Fuck dancing. Gross.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Oh boy.. I don’t know.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Probably

44. Do you tan in the nude? I don’t tan, but if I did, probably not.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? No

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Kind of. I texted him goodnight right before I fell asleep

47. Who was the last person to call you? A collection’s agency.. for unpaid medical bills

48. Do you sing in the shower? Usually

49. Do you dance in the car? No

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Fuck this question. December.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? No, I love musicals

53. Is Christmas stressful? I think it’s overrated

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Blueberry. Or apple.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Artist, singer, author, doctor

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes

59. Take a vitamin daily? No

60. Wear slippers? nope

61. Wear a bath robe? nope

62. What do you wear to bed? I usually sleep naked. Or just topless, or just bottomless

63. First concert? Kelly Clarkson

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target

65. Nike or Adidas? Neither

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos are vegan!

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? All Too Well

69. Ever take dance lessons? yes

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Not really

71. Can you curl your tongue? No

72. Ever won a spelling bee? No, but I got close

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Maybe once, but I don’t think so

74. What is your favorite book? Wintergirls. Or Frankenstein

75. Do you study better with or without music? Depends

76. Regularly burn incense? Yes

77. Ever been in love? yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Evanescence, Paramore again, Tonight Alive..

79. What was the last concert you saw? Was it really Paramore? 4 years ago? It actually might have been.

WAIT. No, I saw some concert with a date back in like September. I don’t remember who it was.

80. Hot tea or cold tea? What kind of monster would make me choose?

81. Tea or coffee? Tea

82. Favorite type of cookie? just chocolate chip

83. Can you swim well? I guess

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes

85. Are you patient? Lol no

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? A band, I think. Yeah, a band

87. Ever won a contest? Yes

88. Ever have plastic surgery? no

89. Which are better black or green olives? black

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? I think it’s stupid to marry someone you didn’t have sex with. Some people just aren’t compatible sexually. That’s not something I’d want to find out after I got married.

91. Best room for a fireplace? No opinion

92. Do you want to get married? yeah. I mean I think so

[char27martin]

Collecting Poems into a Book: 5 Poets Share Their Method

I’ve been enjoying going through previous poet interviews to see how poets have shared common experiences–often in unique ways. So here’s one more directed around the concept of collecting poems into a book.

*****

Order the New Poet’s Market!

The 2017 Poet’s Market, edited by Robert Lee Brewer, includes hundreds of poetry markets, including listings for poetry publications, publishers, contests, and more! With names, contact information, and submission tips, poets can find the right markets for their poetry and achieve more publication success than ever before.

Order your copy today!

In addition to the listings, there are articles on the craft, business, and promotion of poetry–so that poets can learn the ins and outs of writing poetry and seeking publication. Plus, it includes a one-year subscription to the poetry-related information on WritersMarket.com. All in all, it’s the best resource for poets looking to secure publication.

Click to continue.

*****

Ha Ha Ha Thump, by Amorak Huey

Amorak Huey for Ha Ha Ha Thump

“I had written an earlier manuscript of poems about blues music and blues musicians that for a long time I truly thought would be my first book. I sent that out repeatedly—55 times over two years—and it came close several times, but never found a home. That’s probably for the best, as such things usually are in hindsight.

“Anyway, while I was sending that out, I was also writing new poems, and eventually, I had a lot of them, and I put together a manuscript and started sending out that one, too. It didn’t land, either, but I kept writing poems, and eventually had so many that I split that manuscript in two, and one of those was Ha Ha Ha Thump. It went through a number of revisions along the way, and eventually Sundress took it.”

(Read complete Amorak Huey interview.)

Megan Volpert on assembling poems for collections

“Yes, I’ve basically stopped thinking about each piece in isolation. They each have to stand alone, of course, but more and more often I am beginning with the big idea then drilling down to determine its component parts. I know what sort of machines I’m after, so I really proceed more from what the total function of the book will be and then write bits and pieces as I stumble across applications of the project’s main functions in my daily life.

Only Ride, by Megan Volpert

“Only Ride, in particular, is based on a series of constraints. It’s all prose poems between 95 and 110 words, with titles that are complete sentences. My previous collection was the Warhol thing, which was so sprawling and research heavy that I really wanted to work on something more compact and minimal next. I typed most of them on my phone, on the train during my morning commute. I’d let a batch sit in my notepad for a month or so, then revise the whole pile over a couple hours on a weekend. I knew my subjects, so when I reached my target of 66 pieces, I laid them all out on the floor and organized first based on chronological order of the events in the poems then for the right emotional arch within each subject or time period.

“Other stuff can present itself for more obvious arrangement, for example, the 1976 book will report historical events in a straightforward chronological order, one month per chapter. I do prefer organic methods like that. My first two collections still feel well organized, but I agonized over those little piecemeal frankensteins, which in hindsight seems unnecessary.”

(Read entire Megan Volpert interview.)

Todd Davis on assembling poems for collections

“I’m very much a daily writer and thinker. My mind tends to gravitate toward certain subjects based upon my experiences—in the woods, on the rivers, with the books I’m reading.

“For example, yesterday I was deep in on a small stream in the 41,000 acres of game lands above the village where I live. My son and I were taking a long hike and fishing for native brook trout. I came across an amazing caterpillar on the walk—it was lime green with what looked like small spines or quills covering its body. At the end of these spines where bright, vivid colors—red and yellow and blue. I hadn’t seen this caterpillar before, and when I returned home, with the help of the photos I took, I was able to spend time looking through my field guides, discovering that this was the caterpillar that would later turn into a cecropia moth (Hyalophora cecropia), the largest native moth in North America.

“Several years ago at the top of the mountain above our village, I was hiking on an extremely foggy morning. Mornings like this many flying creatures settle to earth because nature’s “ground traffic control” has cancelled their flights. I’ve come across a kettle of kestrel and other beautiful raptors on mornings like this. That particular morning, however, it wasn’t raptors that I found but a cecropia moth clinging to a long blade of grass in a meadow. I spent more than 30 minutes photographing it, studying it, trying to express how enamored I was by its beauty. (Yes, I tend to talk to the natural world!)

“I tell you this story because, like William Stafford whose example means a great deal to me, I go daily into the world simply to be with the miraculous range of human and nonhuman creatures, to observe what is unfolding, to attend to what is too often ignored. Out of this act of paying attention, I write my poems, trying to spend a few hours at my desk each day.

“After a few years I begin to see the patterns of what the act of paying attention has afforded me. Once I feel the body of a book beginning to take shape, I place poems on the floor of my office and start to see what happens when a poem makes neighbors with another poem. It’s a bit like chemical reactions. Just as individual images or sounds in a poem, when juxtaposed with other images or sounds in the same poem, cause a reaction between them, so do individual poems in a collection. It’s fun to see how a poem will be transformed when it finds a particular place in a collection.”

(Read whole Todd Davis interview.)

Hive, by Christina Stoddard

Christina Stoddard on assembling Hive

“I’m not sure the process was at all typical. Most of the poems in Hive are written in the voice of a teenage girl who’s coping with a lot of violence, which in turn leads her to push against the confines of who her family wants her to be and the existence of the God she’s been raised to believe in. But that girl is a persona I discovered halfway into writing the book, not something I was consciously trying to create when I started.

“The truth is that I had actually written two other poetry manuscripts before Hive. I tried sending those manuscripts out to book contests and never got anywhere, so in 2011 I sat down to interrogate and overhaul them after getting some good advice from a mentor. As I did that, I realized there were a few recurring themes and decided to concentrate on those. This adolescent girl kept showing up, too, a voice who would eventually become the speaker in Hive. It’s amazing what you can learn about your writerly obsessions by reading hundreds of pages of your own work in one sitting.

“So when I put together the collection, I did it by choosing poems from my entire body of work over the past ten years. In a way, you could say that the earliest versions of Hive were curated rather than written, but it didn’t stay that way for long. Although I cannibalized my other manuscripts to get material for Hive, as things evolved and I figured out what Hive wanted to be, I ended up throwing out most of those older poems and writing new ones. Only five of the 40 poems in Hive’s table of contents were written prior to 2011, and all of them have been reworked considerably.

“If you’re wondering what happened to the first two manuscripts I wrote, they are moldering away in my file cabinet where they’ll probably never see the light of day again. But I’m okay with that. Even though it can feel impossible to let go of something that isn’t working, especially when you’ve put so much effort into it, sometimes letting go is the best choice. In economics, that phenomenon is called the sunk cost fallacy; people are extremely reluctant to give up on anything they’ve already invested in or purchased, even when it’s unwise or unhealthy not to.

“Hive is a significantly better book than the others. I couldn’t have written it without having first done those practice runs, even if I didn’t realize at the time that they were only practice.”

(Read full Christina Stoddard interview.)

Traci Brimhall on assembling Our Lady of the Ruins

“I feel like the poems cohered as I chose a final ordering for the book, though I didn’t write the poems with a certain structure or overarching narrative in mind. I knew all my poems were about a mid-apocalyptic wandering, but the nature of the poems ranged really widely as I wrote. I cut over a couple dozen poems from the final draft because they didn’t fit with the narrative that emerged through ordering.”

(Read complete Traci Brimhall interview.)

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Robert Lee Brewer is the editor of Poet’s Market and author of Solving the World’s Problems. Follow him on Twitter @robertleebrewer.

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Bryan Borland: Poet Interview.

Wednesday Poetry Prompts: 373.

20 Best Tips for Poets.

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