#I`m doing art contests again??? H

[ars-ceratinus]

Design work for a (redacted) I may or may not be entering because I`m (expunged)

[infrequent-creator]

Face Paint Fiasco

Summary: Leo is bored so he decides to challenge Mikey.

Word Count: 750

Tw: tickles

<3

Leo was so bored. Not just regular bored, but super ultra bored. He was so bored he decided to check and see if his brothers were doing.

He knew Donnie was doing his lame science stuff again, and he could hear Raph working out loudly in his room. So, he decided to check on his littlest brother.

“Angieeee, where are youuuu?” He called as he paced through the lair.

“Down here man!” He was on the skate ramp, surrounded by all his art supplies. Leo lept over the edge only to land right beside the small orange turtle. He was laying on his belly painting.

“What’re you up to, mi hermano?” He glanced around at the half used spray paints.

“Just practicing my sqwuills on the half pipe!” He was of course referring to his painting ‘sqwuills’.

“You know, I’m a bit of an artist myself.” Leo posed as if he was about to be stared at in awe.

“Stick figures don’t count bro..” Mikey giggled, causing his older brother to gasp in fake offense.

“MichaelAngelo! I will have you know I’m an amazing artist!”

“Yeah yeah, sure you are man. I know you’re good in your own way.” The little orange turtle beamed up at Leo, kicking his feet behind him.

Supreme in the sky— his brother was so sweet.

“Ok you know what, how about this. You, me, face painting contest. I paint you, you paint me. Whoever has the best face wins!” He challenged boldly like he always did.

“Oh, you’re on! What does the winner get?”

“Title of best brother, cause let’s be honest, we are the only ones in that race.”

“You’re so right, but that sounds good to me!” He beamed. Mikey dug through his box of supplies till he found his face paints and two brushes.

“Alright let’s do this!” Leo flopped down on the ramp, his legs open in a v shape. Mikey sits criss cross in between his brother’s legs as close as he could to have better reach.

“Alright. 5 minutes to paint something awesome. You ready bro?” The youngest handed his brother a brush.

“Born ready~”

“Aaaaand go!” Mikey grabbed the orange paint and started making little strokes on Leo’s forehead. Leo grabbed the pink and went to town, big strokes on Mikey’s cheeks.

“Hehe L-Leoho carefuhuhul~” the little turtle giggled softly, smiling big at the ticklish strokes

“Oh no, is little Angie ticklish on his face? How could I forget~” Nardo chuckled, manovering the around the edge of his face causing Mikey to scrunch up, but still making quick work of his painting.

“Shut uhuhup, don’t forgehehet you’re weak spot too!” Mikey took some black paint and started swirling the brush under the corner of his brother’s jaw.

“A-Ack! M-Mikehehey! N-Nohoho fair!” Leo scrunched hard, stopping his painting for a moment.

“Oh c’mon now, hold still bro, I gotta finish the bottom.” Mikey smirked, relishing in the fact that his strong big bro could be taken down with nothing but a paintbrush.

“Pleheheheease! H-Huhuhurry! This is cheheheheating!” He peeked an eye open to finish coloring the rest of Mikey’s face pink.

“Ok ok I’m done anyway, sit back up you big baby~”

“Oh, I’m the baby? Take that!” The blue turtle snatched the black from his brother only to make more big sloppy strokes all over his face and nose.

“Eehehehe Leohoho!” He did try to hold still but he couldn’t help but squirm under the tickly brush.

“Hold still bro, I gotta finish.” Nardo mocked in a Mikey-voice. After a moment, he put the brush down and smiled at his work.

“Perfect.” He sat back, eyeing the artwork.

“Let’s see!” Mikey grabbed a mirror, holding it up so they could both see. The orange turtle immediately burst out laughing.

“OHOHOMIGOHOSH! You painted me like Meat Sweats?!” It wasn’t a half bad replica if it wasn’t so messy.

“And you drew a .. sunset?”

“Hehe, not just a sunset, all four of us sitting on the beach!” He pointed at Leo’s left cheek, showing him the tiny drawings of him and his bros.

“Oh wow, that’s really impressive Mikey, but I think it’s clear who the winner is.” The blue turtle posed again, feeling victorious.

“Oh in your dreams, I’m gonna go use your mask to scare Raph & Don!” Mikey dashed down the hall. Leo paused for a moment and looked back at his face im the mirror.

“Really impressive, Mikey.” He smiled, getting up to chase after Mikey

THE END

[somerabbitholes]

Essays

Here’s a (non-exhaustive) list of essays I like/find interesting/are food for thought; I’ve tried to sort them as much as possible. The starred (*) ones are those I especially love

also quick note: some of these links, especially the ones that are from books/anthologies redirect you to libgen or scihub, and if that doesn’t work for you, do message me; I’d be happy to send them across!

Literature + Writing

Godot Comes to Sarajevo - Susan Sontag

The Strangeness of Grief - V. S. Naipaul*

Memories of V. S. Naipaul - Paul Theroux*

A Rainy Day with Ruskin Bond - Mayank Austen Soofi

How Albert Camus Faced History - Adam Gopnik

Listen, Bro - Jo Livingstone

Rachel Cusk Gut-Renovates the Novel - Judith Thurman

Lost in Translation: What the First Line of “The Stranger” Should Be - Ryan Bloom

The Duke in His Domain - Truman Capote*

The Cult of Donna Tartt: Themes and Strategies in The Secret History - Ana Rita Catalão Guedes

Never Do That to a Book - Anne Fadiman*

Affecting Anger: Ideologies of Community Mobilisation in Early Hindi Novel - Rohan Chauhan*

Why I Write - George Orwell*

Rimbaud and Patti Smith: Style as Social Deviance - Carrie Jaurès Noland*

Art + Photography (+ Aesthetics)

Looking at War - Susan Sontag*

Love, sex, art, and death - Nan Goldin, David Wojnarowicz

Lyons, Szarkowski, and the Perception of Photography - Anne Wilkes Tucker

The Feminist Critique of Art History - Thalia Gouma-Peterson, Patricia Mathews

In Plato's Cave - Susan Sontag*

On reproduction of art (Chapter 1, Ways of Seeing) - John Berger*

On nudity and women in art (Chapter 3, Ways of Seeing) - John Berger*

Kalighat Paintings  - Sharmishtha Chaudhuri

Daydreams and Fragments: On How We Retrieve Images From the Past -  Maël Renouard

Arthur Rimbaud: the Aesthetics of Intoxication - Enid Rhodes Peschel

Cities

Tragic Fable of Mumbai Mills - Gyan Prakash

Whose Bandra is it? - Dustin Silgardo*

Timur's Registan: noblest public square in the world? - Srinath Perur

The first Starbucks coffee shop, Seattle - Colin Marshall*

Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, Mumbai's iconic railway station - Srinath Perur

From London to Mumbai and Back Again: Gentrification and Public Policy in Comparative Perspective -  Andrew Harris

The Limits of "White Town" in Colonial Calcutta - Swati Chattopadhyay

The Metropolis and Mental Life - Georg Simmel

Colonial Policy and the Culture of Immigration: Citing the Social History of Varanasi - Vinod Kumar, Shiv Narayan

A Caribbean Creole Capital: Kingston, Jamaica - Coln G. Clarke (from Colonial Cities by Robert Ross, Gerard J. Telkamp

The Colonial City and the Post-Colonial World - G. A. de Bruijne

The Nowhere City - Amos Elon*

The Vertical Fl��neur: Narratorial Tradecraft in the Colonial Metropolis - Paul K. Saint-Amour

Philosophy

The trolley problem problem - James Wilson

A Brief History of Death - Nir Baram

Justice as Fairness: Political not Metaphysical - John Rawls*

Should Marxists be Interested in Exploitation? - John E. Roemer

The Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief - Scott Berinato*

The Pandemic and the Crisis of Faith - Makarand Paranjape

If God Is Dead, Your Time is Everything - James Wood

Giving Up on God - Ronald Inglehart

The Limits of Consensual Decision - Douglas Rae*

The Science of "Muddling Through" - Charles Lindblom*

History

The Gruesome History of Eating Corpses as Medicine - Maria Dolan

The History of Loneliness - Jill Lepore*

From Tuskegee to Togo: the Problem of Freedom in the Empire of Cotton - Sven Beckert*

Time, Work-Discipline, and Industrial Capitalism - E. P. Thompson*

All By Myself - Martha Bailey*

The Geographical Pivot of History - H. J. Mackinder

The sea/ocean

Rim of Life - Manu Pillai

Exploring the Indian Ocean as a rich archive of history – above and below the water line - Isabel Hofmeyr, Charne Lavery

‘Piracy’, connectivity and seaborne power in the Middle Ages - Nikolas Jaspert (from The Sea in History)*

The Vikings and their age - Nils Blomkvist (from The Sea in History)*

Mercantile Networks, Port Cities, and “Pirate” States - Roxani Eleni Margariti

Phantom Peril in the Arctic - Robert David English, Morgan Grant Gardner*

Assorted ones on India

A departure from history: Kashmiri Pandits, 1990-2001 - Alexander Evans *

Writing Post-Orientalist Histories of the Third World - Gyan Prakash

Empire: How Colonial India Made Modern Britain - Aditya Mukherjee

Feminism and Nationalism in India, 1917-1947 - Aparna Basu

The Epic Riddle of Dating Ramayana, Mahabharata - Sunaina Kumar*

Caste and Politics: Identity Over System - Dipankar Gupta

Our worldview is Delhi based*

Sports (you’ll have to excuse the fact that it’s only cricket but what can i say, i’m indian)

'Massa Day Done:' Cricket as a Catalyst for West Indian Independence: 1950-1962 - John Newman*

Playing for power? rugby, Afrikaner nationalism and masculinity in South Africa, c.1900–70 - Albert Grundlingh

When Cricket Was a Symbol, Not Just a Sport - Baz Dreisinger

Cricket, caste, community, colonialism: the politics of a great game - Ramachandra Guha*

Cricket and Politics in Colonial India - Ramchandra Guha

MS Dhoni: A quiet radical who did it his way*

Music

Brega: Music and Conflict in Urban Brazil - Samuel M. Araújo

Color, Music and Conflict: A Study of Aggression in Trinidad with Reference to the Role of Traditional Music - J. D. Elder

The 1975 - ‘Notes On a Conditional Form’ review - Dan Stubbs*

Life Without Live - Rob Sheffield*

How Britney Spears Changed Pop - Rob Sheffield

Concert for Bangladesh

From “Help!” to “Helping out a Friend”: Imagining South Asia through the Beatles and the Concert for Bangladesh - Samantha Christiansen 

Gender

Clothing Behaviour as Non-verbal Resistance - Diana Crane

The Normalisation of Queer Theory - David M. Halperin

Menstruation and the Holocaust - Jo-Ann Owusu*

Women’s Suffrage the Democratic Peace - Allan Dafoe

Pink and Blue: Coloring Inside the Lines of Gender - Catherine Zuckerman*

Women’s health concerns are dismissed more, studied less - Zoanne Clack

Food

How Food-Obsessed Millennials Shape the Future of Food - Rachel A. Becker (as a non-food obsessed somewhat-millennial, this was interesting)

Colonialism's effect on how and what we eat - Coral Lee

Tracing Europe's influence on India's culinary heritage - Ruth Dsouza Prabhu

Chicken Kiev: the world’s most contested ready-meal*

From Russia with mayo: the story of a Soviet super-salad*

The Politics of Pancakes - Taylor Aucoin*

How Doughnuts Fuelled the American Dream*

Pav from the Nau

A Short History of the Vada Pav - Saira Menezes

Fantasy (mostly just harry potter and lord of the rings)

Purebloods and Mudbloods: Race, Species, and Power (from The Politics of Harry Potter)

Azkaban: Discipline, Punishment, and Human Rights (from The Politics of Harry Potter)*

Good and Evil in J. R. R. Tolkien's Lengendarium - Jyrki Korpua

The Fairy Story: J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis - Colin Duriez (from Tree of Tales)*

Tolkien’s Augustinian Understanding of Good and Evil: Why The Lord of the Rings Is Not Manichean - Ralph Wood (from Tree of Tales)*

Travel

The Hidden Cost of Wildlife Tourism

Chronicles of a Writer’s 1950s Road Trip Across France - Kathleen Phelan

On the Early Women Pioneers of Trail Hiking - Gwenyth Loose

On the Mythologies of the Himalaya Mountains - Ed Douglas*

More random assorted ones

The cosmos from the wheelchair (The Economist obituaries)*

In El Salvador - Joan Didion

Scientists are unravelling the mystery of pain - Yudhijit Banerjee

Notes on Nationalism - George Orwell

Politics and the English Language - George Orwell*

What Do the Humanities Do in a Crisis? - Agnes Callard*

The Politics of Joker - Kyle Smith

Sushant Singh Rajput: The outsider - Uday Bhatia*

Credibility and Mystery - John Berger

happy reading :)

[hd-wireless]

🎶 HD Wireless 2021 Reveals! 🎶

TAKE A BOW, CREATORS!! 

The day has finally come, and we can’t wait for everyone to see who created all the wonderful Wireless works that we had the privilege to present to you this year!!

Before we do that, the results of our Guessing Game! The winner, with 43 correct guesses (which gave her 260 points - please don’t question our scoring system) was @sweet-s0rr0w!! Kudos to your super-sleuthing and powers of recognition!!

All the wonderful authors, artists and podficcers who took part this year can be found below the cut. As the mods, we want to extend our thanks to every single talented one of them. Please show them all your love and appreciation!!

🎶 H/D Wireless Animatic and Fic 🎶

📻 rather a lover than a fighter [T, 15k] ✒️ Author and Artist: @parkkate & aceveria / @aceveria-art

🎵 Summary: When Harry loses his voice and his magic, it’s up to Healer Draco to save the day.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶

📻 The Road to Somewhere [T] 🖌️ Artist: @rainsoakedhello 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: In the end, all roads lead home.

📻 Don't care what they say (I would be stupid to be not on it) [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: @digthewriter 🎵 Art medium: Digital. Photoshop.

🎵 Summary: Harry finally has a chance with Draco and he's not gonna let it go.

📻 Start Over Again [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: milkandhoney / @fictional 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: Do you feel like a chainstore? Or in which one is Graham Coxon and one is Damon Albarn.

📻 Down for What You Want [Teen] 🖌️ Artist: @sugareey 🎵 Art medium: Digital

🎵 Summary: After the war, finding refuge in the clubs of Muggle London is easier than dealing with the shambles of the wizarding world. When Harry and Draco keep running into each other at Apollo's every Saturday night though, they follow their gut instincts to get on the dance floor and discover something they both have been craving for a long time.

📻 What do I do? With a Love That Won’t Sit Still [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: @cambiodipolvere 🎵 Art medium: traditional (graphite)

🎵 Summary: Italian Greyhounds are small and fucked up, but Draco is a big fuck up and that requires scaling.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art and Fic 🎶

📻 A Halo of Fairy Orbs [E, 20.6k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: vivi1138 / @penguinanimagus & Fae_vorite / @faevorite-main-blog 🎵 Art medium: digital art

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy has been dead for fifteen years, but the Black Family tapestry doesn’t agree. Upon returning from long years abroad, Harry discovers that his old rival might still be alive, and his revived obsession leads him to Malfoy Manor. There’s a mystery to solve, and Harry is chasing a thrill he hasn’t felt since sixth year. He needs to know.

📻 Oh, Sinnerman [E, 40k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: @lou-isfake and @babooshkart 🎵 Art medium: digital

🎵 Summary: “I’m serious, Potter,” Malfoy said quietly. “That was some real bad luck you had, being there last night. They will come after you, and they will kill you—after torturing you for information on my whereabouts.” He pocketed Harry’s wand, but held on to his knife, twirling it between his fingers. Harry was distracted by its movement, the reflections of the bright, dawning sun on polished silver. “I’m not happy about it, either, but you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.” He watched Malfoy’s face for a long time, in a staring contest he wasn’t sure he’d signed up for. Stuck with Malfoy, for the foreseeable future, on the run from a massive crime syndicate that had infiltrated the Ministry and was out for their blood. It was all very familiar, except for the Malfoy part.  

📻 The Crane Lord of Gringotts [E, 31.1k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: @vukovich and @crazybutgood 🎵 Art medium: Origami, photography

🎵 Summary: Harry is fine. Being an Auror is fine. Living with Ginny is fine. It's all fine. But it used to be a lot better.

📻 The World Is A Violent Sky [E, 60k] 🖌️✒️ Author/Artist: writingsbydestiny / @starlitsilvereyes 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: Harry Potter wants to die; Draco Malfoy wants to live — a story of life and death, everything in between and beyond — in the form of scatters of love and hurt like freckles of stars forming into constellations. — Alternative Summary (And Significantly Less Poetic): Four years after the war, Harry remains grief-stricken. In an attempt to discover the parts of him that haven’t died in the Forbidden Forest, he drops off the face of Scotland to travel the world by himself. Along the way, he finds his old enemy, Draco Malfoy, in a Muggle country, looking positively dashing even with a slash of scar decorating his face. As always, Harry’s curiosity leads him to (un)fortunate places.

📻 The Stars Have Courage [M, 85k] 🖌️✒️ Author/Artist: @fantalf 🎵  Art medium: Digital painting

🎵 Summary: Draco can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t move. He can’t hear anything besides the buzzing in his ears. The walls are closing in. The world becomes smaller, narrowing itself to the pain in his chest, and it becomes the only thing that makes sense. He tries to cry. Maybe he is crying, but there are no tears anymore. Luna’s words echo endlessly in his brain. Harry doesn’t remember. Harry doesn’t love Draco. Repeating ceaselessly. Infinite, Harry used to say. No. No. No. Draco can’t lose him again. But he doesn’t know who you are now. He doesn’t love you. He hates you. You are no one. His world turns into an overwhelming pain. And that pain is all that he is. — Draco waited five long years to watch his husband wake up from a coma. He's not ready to meet a Harry with no memory of anything that happened after he died at The Battle of Hogwarts, twelve years ago.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic Collab 🎶

📻 'Til Your World Burns [E, 25.3k] ✒️ 🖋️Authors: @ladderofyears and @iero0

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy is raped and watches as his world falls apart. Harry Potter is the quiet, unassuming wizard who finally listens to him.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶

📻 Inside These Walls [M, 5.6k] 🖋️ Author: @jackvbriefs

🎵 Summary: The year before Draco moves to Los Angeles, Harry Potter disappears. Draco doesn't mean to find him. He's just doing his job.

📻 Drive a Little Slower [Gen, 1.6k] 🖋️ Author: bluefay / @thesleepiesthufflepuff

🎵 Summary: He silently willed Harry to drive a little slower. To let him pretend a little longer.

📻 Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon [T, 16k] 🖋️ Author: thestarryknight / @the-starryknight

🎵 Summary: The Ministry didn’t turn bad overnight. Harry didn’t suddenly turn rogue either. Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person. If there’s an art to fighting back, then they’ll find it hand in hand.

📻 Two Starts, One Finish [E, 5.5k] 🖋️ Author: @lqtraintracks

🎵 Summary: I feel him before I see him. Nobody stands this close to me while I’m playing, and I’m about to turn to tell him so when he says, “You’re a tough bloke to track down,” and then leans against my baby grand.

📻 Never Gonna Give You Up [E, 5k] 🖋️ Author: InnerLilith

🎵 Summary: Five times Harry rickrolls Draco, and one time Draco gets him back.

📻 Alone Together [T, 3k] 🖋️ Author: @iero0

🎵 Summary: He felt like a spectre, roaming the treeless grounds, the deserted streets of Hogsmeade. It was only the train station—of course it was, Harry thinks—that harboured another sleepless soul that night. They were found as though they had been looking for one another; freezing to the ground at the sight of an unmistakable silhouette in the distance, before wordlessly meeting on the platform. They stood there, side by side, faces to the sky.

📻 Nothing Left to Burn [E, 5,1] 🖋️ Author: skeptique / @skeptiquewrites​

🎵 Summary: Over ten years after their fling crashed and burned, Harry runs into Draco and finds embers still burning bright. Sometimes your ex-lover is (metaphorically) dead. And sometimes it's summertime in Montreal and the past won't let go.

📻 The Isle of Discussion [E, 21.6k] 🖋️ Author: @shealwaysreads

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco arrive at the shores of Loch Leven to record the magical history of the land. They’re friends now, but up there in the Highlands, amidst the trees and sky and that wild expanse of water their own past is more present than ever; a gap they still can’t bridge. Magic illuminates the truth, but it is Harry and Draco who have to speak it. Happily, it turns out that honesty is, in fact, the best policy.

📻 (You Should Have Been My) High School Lover [T, 3.9k] 🖋️ Authort: @aprofessionalprotagonist

🎵 Summary: After years of carefully avoiding running into Harry Potter, Pansy tricks Draco into attending a party at Grimmauld Place. How is he supposed to deal with a very attractive Potter trying to talk to him?

📻 Both Hands [E, 10.4] 🖋️ Author: @sweet-s0rr0w

🎵 Summary: It’s been over a decade since Draco packed up his belongings and left, and Harry’s doing just fine. Really, he is. So when he spots the For Sale sign outside their old flat, he doesn’t think twice about arranging a viewing. Curiosity is only natural, right? And what harm can come from a quick trip down memory lane?

📻 His favourite piece of art [E, 1.3k] 🖋️ Author: @gnarf

🎵 Summary: Six years after Malfoy had left, Harry suddenly spotted him on the dancefloor of a Muggle club in London. He couldn't let this opportunity slip…

📻 I'll Try to Keep the Walls From Falling Down [M, 14.9k] 🖋️ Author: @drarrelie

🎵 Summary: It’s OK. Love is only meant for some; Harry knows that. Besides, he wouldn’t want to risk this new, amazing friendship he has going on with Draco for anything in the world. Keeping his walls from falling down is the least he can do.

📻 Learn to Fly [T, 11k] 🖋️ Author: @janieohio

🎵 Summary: Harry’s suffocating under all the expectations of the wizarding world, but he’s fascinated at Malfoy’s sudden ability to flaunt his true self to whoever cares to watch. And Harry? He might like to do something more than watch if he can ever get up the nerve.

📻 Restless Dreams (Stay With Me) [T, 5.5k] 🖋️ Author: wanderingeyre

🎵 Summary: At first, Draco thinks the common room is empty, but then he sees Potter sitting on the floor, back to the wall on the far side of the fireplace. His head is thrown back, exposing the brown column of his throat. The curl of his hair looks soft in the firelight. Potter’s glasses are off and there are tracks where tears have wet his cheeks. He looks naked in a way that stabs at Draco, right between the ribs where everything is already bruised.

📻 Letters From Home [T, 1.1k] 🖋️ Author: @articcat621

 🎵 Summary: Writing to each other is all that's getting them through this war.

📻 so lie to me tonight [T, 5.3k] 🖋️ Author: M0stlyVoid / @bonesliketambourines

🎵 Summary: Ginny thought it would be different, after.

📻 Mortal Frame [M, 6.6k] 🖋️ Author: tackytiger / @tackytigerfic

🎵 Summary: Draco’s on a mission, and this time it's personal. But it's not easy to track down something that no one wants to talk about, especially when Harry Potter keeps popping up everywhere Draco goes. Though at least he’s on Draco’s side this time, and if he happens to be useful, and kind, and great in bed—well, Draco’s not exactly complaining. The story of three pubs, one Horcrux, four overpriced sandwiches, and two damaged men just trying to make sure that Bellatrix Lestrange stays dead.

📻 Prologue [T, 4.5k] 🖋️ Author: adavison / @aedwritesfic

🎵 Summary: Ten years after the war, Harry stumbles across Malfoy in a Muggle club. What could have been an awkward encounter might just be a new beginning.

📻 A Care To Fill The Vessel Of Your Heart [M, 2.5k] 🖋️ Author: @onbeinganangel

🎵 Summary: Draco doesn’t care for atonement. Why should he? Forgetting is easier than forgiving. Or it would be, if fate just left him to his own devices. Fate, as per usual, has its own plans.

📻 Like a Dream I Can Reach (but not quite hold) [M, 19.4k] 🖋️ Author: Cassiara / @cassiaratheslytherpuff

🎵 Summary: Harry spends his life waiting for something he isn’t entirely sure he wants, and looking for something he doesn’t know exists. Everything feels ill-fitting until Draco Malfoy enters his life and shows Harry he doesn’t have to want the expected things, and Harry learns happiness doesn't have to look a certain way.

📻 Sun and Rain [M, 4.7k]

🖋️ Author: @isamijoo 

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy thinks that being in a relationship with Harry Potter is anything but easy, but then again, what's the sun without the rain?

📻 In Pursuit of Lost Marbles [T, 22k] 🖋️ Author:  Theartfulldodger / @graymatters 

🎵 Summary: Every night after work, Healer Malfoy follows the same routine, beginning with a familiar flight of stairs that leads to the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's. With an air of professionalism, he introduces himself to Harry, his husband of seven years, when a memory curse makes Harry look at him like a stranger. He tries not to flinch when Harry calls him sir, but he smiles when bits of the old Harry emerge. Eventually, Draco leads Harry to the Pensieve where he shows him pieces of the life they've built together, what Harry will come home to, one day, when this is all over. Then, Draco waits. He waits, and he hopes.

📻 Requiem [T, 1.8k] 🖋️ Author: EvAEleanor / @evaeleanor

🎵 Summary: Requiem — A song of mourning composed or performed as a memorial to a dead person.

📻 Changes With The Moon [Gen, 1.6k] 🖋️ Author: @missdrarrydawn

🎵 Summary: Draco takes a stroll to try to settle his turbulent thoughts, plagued by who he was, who he is and who he could be. A friend offers him a whole new world and Draco struggles with the idea, for there is too much at stake, it isn't worth it. Or—is it?

📻 Chasing Dragons [E, 89.9k] 🖋️ Author: The_Sinking_Ship / @the-sinking-ship

🎵 Summary: Draco can think of only one way to outclass his pleat-front-khaki-wearing politician ex, and that’s by making headlines with an obvious upgrade. And who better to upstage the cheating bastard than the Saviour of the World, Harry Potter himself? Sure, Potter is a little rough around the edges in ripped jeans, a rumpled tartan shirt, and a permanent scowl. Draco reckons a haircut and a shave wouldn’t hurt, either. But Potter is also in need of a Healer willing to keep his secrets, and Draco is just the man for the job. It’s a perfectly reasonable exchange. They need only attend a couple parties arm-in-arm, smile nicely for the paparazzi, and tolerate each other long enough to convince everyone they’re smitten. In return, Draco will keep Potter alive and in one piece. But it isn’t long before Draco realises he might be in over his head, because Potter is ten tonnes of trouble packed into a leather jacket, and seems keen on hurtling himself towards death on the back of a flying motorbike. And that says nothing of Potter’s penchant for fire-breathing beasts and things that bite. Ah well, at least they’ll have some fun while it lasts. After all, Draco always did like a bit of danger.

📻 Drive, Draco [M, 2.4k] 🖋️ Author: Erebeus / @erebeus-roxy

🎵 Summary: got my driver’s license today, but you're not around to see. Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe

📻 Fire [E, 10k] 🖋️ Author: GallifreyisBurning / @gallifrey1sburning

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy has never had trouble getting boyfriends. The problem is getting one that doesn’t leave him feeling cold after the first few months. He’s looking for something specific: passion, excitement, someone to keep him on his toes. He just doesn’t know how to go about finding it. After kicking his latest boyfriend to the curb, Draco’s at a loss for what to do next, until it occurs to him that a relationship with his fiery (and hot) Gryffindor colleague might not burn out so quickly—if he can just convince Harry to try it.

📻 Into the Unknown [M, 4.5k] 🖋️ Author: @drarrelie

🎵 Summary: It’s been echoing within him for months, like an annoying song that gets stuck in your head and refuses to let go. A nagging feeling in his core, telling him to say something, to do something, to go somewhere. Last night it finally happened. He did it. And it felt good; right. “I can’t be sure.” Four words, easy as that. It had been almost impossible to smother the sudden burst of joy rushing through him as that deep-seated urge rejoiced his unexpected act of rebellion. You’d think the Dark Lord’s punishment would’ve taken the exhilaration out of him, but no. Here he is, countless Crucios later, beaten and bruised, and never has the voice sounded this clear. He’s said something. He’s done something. And now he just has to go somewhere. He has no idea where, but he’s certain it will come to him. All he has to do is get out of here, then trust magic to do the rest.

📻 Home is What We Make of It [M, 20.3k] 🖋️ Author: @monsieur-hadrien

🎵 Summary: "There was a blistering draft from the child’s bedroom on the opposite side of the hallway. The door’s handle was icy to the touch as she wrapped her hand around the metal. Unlike the rest of the house, the door gave her resistance in her effort to open it. Unlike the rest of the house, when she opened the door, she couldn’t imagine anyone ever living there. Unlike the rest of the house, there was neither love nor warmth nor any semblance of life that seeped from the rest of the house’s walls. It was cold and hard and chilled her to her bones. She shivered. However, her sense of dread was not just from the cold. Perhaps it was the gaping hole in the wall." Harry and Draco want to start a family, but time loves parallels.

📻 Move, move [M, 9k] 🖋️ Author: @maesterchill

🎵 Summary: She grabbed Harry’s hand, slipping something small into it and pressing his fingers around it. “Dilectio. It’ll cheer you up. Make you feel like dancing.” Harry gaped at her. Drugs. Ginny’s fucking giving me drugs? At Stasis nightclub Ginny does indeed give Harry drugs. But it's all good: Malfoy looks after Harry, and Harry grapples with newfound enlightenments, not to mention a newfound fascination with all things Malfoy—one which persists, even when he finds out what Malfoy's up to.

📻 Euphoria [E, 66k] 🖋️ Author: @iero0

🎵 Summary: Driven by trauma, Harry cuts ties with friends and family. From crowded nightclubs and enthralling live shows, Harry finds himself stumbling into a superficial world where he's lonelier than ever. When even the constant blithe of substance-induced highs can't prevent things from becoming what he ran away from, Draco Malfoy finds Harry. Draco, who’s wearing Muggle jeans and who’s listening to Muggle music and who suggests having a nice little chat on mephedrone. And whose nose crumples beautifully when he laughs. Or: A story about Harry trying to cope with the help of drugs until he finds a new addiction. Draco likes to mend things.

📻 Your House [E, 2.9k] 🖋️ Author: @tontonguetonks

🎵 Summary: Draco tries to serve Harry divorce papers, but Harry isn't home.

📻 Misery Loves Company [E, 22.9k] 🖋️ Author: vivi1138 / @penguinanimagus

🎵 Summary: Stuck in his own head, misunderstood and lonely, Harry would love nothing more than to stay hidden in Grimmauld Place until the end of time. Malfoy won’t let him, and that's just what Harry needs.

📻 You Sexy Thing [E, 10.6k] 🖋️ Author: shortie990

🎵 Summary: As Harry began to tap his foot along to the music, the lights flashed like lightning in the middle of a summer storm, and his eye went straight to the middle of the dance floor. His eyes zoomed in on Draco. The blond looked striking as he moved his slender hips to the soulful beat. Harry watched, captivated as he pressed himself up to Pansy and began to sing to the song.

📻 A Love Story of Less-Than-Epic Proportions [E, 39k] 🖋️ Author: InnerLilith

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco are just friends. Sure, they work together, and live together, and go to gigs together, and do pretty much everything else together—so what? That’s just what friends do. And Harry has no interest in messing with their friendship. He certainly doesn’t need everyone else constantly meddling, pestering them to just get on with it and get together already. He’s having a hard enough time as it is, trying to come to terms with the fact that he probably isn’t ever going to find love. But who needs love, anyways, when you’ve got a best friend?

📻 Cup of tea, Love? [E, 15.1k] 🖋️ Author: shushu_yaoi_lj / @orange-peony 

🎵 Summary: Things between them are easy, so much easier than Harry expected. The problem is the outside world, which grows increasingly and ridiculously difficult. “We could leave,” Draco suggests. Harry has always wanted to travel.

📻 holemate [E, 18.9k] 🖋️ Author:  @vukovich

🎵 Summary: 'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates So where do we begin? I can finally see you're as fucked up as me So how do we win?

📻 Home is Wherever I’m With You [Gen, 2.6k] 🖋️ Author: persephoneapple

🎵 Summary: Harry plans on proposing to Draco tonight, but it takes a Prophet article and a conversation between Draco and Pansy to realise how much Draco means to him.

📻 When the remembering is done [E, 24.8k] 🖋️ Author: Sassy3 / @sassy-sassy3

🎵 Summary: “–and we’ll make sure that you can stay at home as long as possible before it will be too hard to manage,” Potter finished. Draco could only blink, trying to make sense of the words he had heard before and after he zoned out. He cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m sorry, Potter. Why wouldn’t she be able to live at home?” Draco Malfoy leads a quiet life. Sure, he doesn’t really like his job, and he never imagined he’d have to move back in with his parents at the manor, but at least he has his lovely son Scorpius to dote on. The only problem is that it gets… a bit lonely. But when his mother starts behaving strange and forgetful, he finds himself in need of help from the one person he never reconciled with after the war.

📻 If you smile at me again, I may do something stupid [M, 6.9k] 🖋️ Author: @emilattes

🎵 Summary: Draco made his peace with Harry Potter and their failed relationship two years ago. He's happy with his new boyfriend, but when Harry becomes the man Draco needed him to be, he finds it's much harder to ignore their history.

📻 smoke break [E, 4.3k] 🖋️ Author: saltwatergarden / @talkingtravesties

🎵 Summary: The first few times, they hovered a bit; Draco offered wine and they sat there and sipped and made small talk, until finally Potter would snap and say, “this is stupid,” and reach out to pull Draco into a kiss. After a while, they fell into a rhythm. Sometimes Potter would be in a rush, and he’d just throw himself at Draco the second he was through the door. Other times, he seemed intent on torturing Draco with his slow and teasing kisses. Potter rarely stayed the night, typically Flooing home after they were done, and they never went out, or, for that matter, met at Potter’s place. Draco was very aware of what he was to Potter—a convenience—and despite his pride, he accepted it, because he knew it was the most he was ever going to get from Potter, and far more than he deserved.

📻 4th Day of the New Show [M, 6.2k] 🖋️ Author: @meandminniemcg

🎵 Summary: Lucius, freshly released from Azkaban, shows up at Draco's show. And Harry has been nervous all day. How does Draco handle the situation?

📻 I Want More? [E, 10.7k] 🖋️ Author: @drarryismymuse

🎵 Summary: Draco had successfully avoided British wizarding society for eight years, until necessity drove him to attend a swanky Ministry event. A chance encounter at that event sparks a passionate affair that just might change the course of Draco’s entire life.

📻 Until It All Comes Undone [E, 38.5k] 🖋️ Author: @mystickitten42 

🎵 Summary: Following his confrontation with Voldemort, Harry returns from King’s Cross Station completely changed. He wakes up at Privet Drive with no memory of his past, the war or magic. Petunia, widowed and suffering from empty nest syndrome, is only too happy to turn Harry into Dudley 2.0. But something’s not quite right. Plagued by recurring nightmares, Harry can’t help but feel something is missing. A bottle of his cousin’s LSD helps him to forget his worries… Magic may not be real, but the hallucinations and the hot blond he meets all feel pretty magical to Harry. Having turned his back on his family, Draco is determined to start over and do the right thing. But he’s never made good decisions when it comes to Harry Potter. When Potter—presumed dead, but very much alive—unexpectedly returns, Draco will do anything for a second chance. Even if it means pretending not to know who he is…

📻 When the Day Met the Night [M, 5.7k] 🖋️ Author: Albuss

🎵 Summary: When the day met the night, all was golden in the sky. In the middle of summer. The Battle of Hogwarts is through, and Harry, somehow, isn't. Draco isn't either. In rebellion against all they have endured, the two embark on a summer of adventure, seeking an ember of hope in the darkness. What they find is unforgettable.

📻 Born to Drown [M, 3.2k] 🖋️ Author: @floydig

🎵 Summary: Draco drives a Knight Bus in the slums of Paris. Sometimes his passengers remind him of Harry. But Harry left years ago. Now, Harry is married to Ginny, and Draco drives a bus. You laugh. “Sorry, I don't know why I’m laughing. It’s really not funny—your dad being dead and shrivelled.” “Fuck off.” I turn to face you. Your eyes are red, your pupils almost blown. Your skin is grey-tinged and sallow, and you're not the one who’s dead. “Merlin, Potter,” I say, hoarse. “How much bloody Dreamless did you shoot up this time?” “Enough for me to live.” You grin wide. “You want me to be alive, don’t you?” Your raw-bitten lips, your chipped teeth, your fucking mouth. I hate all of them, but really I don’t.

📻 Stop And Stare [T, 36.5k] 🖋️ Author: devilishcries

🎵 Summary: After surviving your everyday war-torn childhood, Harry had found a constant rhythm to his life. The thing is, he didn't quite like it. It was repetitive, dull, and he badly wanted to switch it up. So, when he stumbled upon Draco Malfoy on the verge of committing arson in a muggle library, he proposed a deal neither could refuse. (Well, Malfoy was desperately trying to refuse it. But that wasn't the point!) What he failed to factor in was how pretty Malfoy's hands were. One thing led to another, and suddenly, he was obsessed with the idea of holding them.

📻 Wicked Game [E, 20.9k] 🖋️ Author: @cassiopeiasshadow

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco fall into a spring that allows them to enter into each other’s dreams - but Harry doesn’t quite understand what’s happening, not at first. Why does he keep seeing Draco having kinky sex with a dream version of Harry? And furthermore, why does he like it? Morpheus’ tail twitched irritably. “I warned you away from the poppies. The blame lies with you.” “Me? Potter’s to blame for this, he’s the one who dragged me out to this miserable -” “You would do well not to insult the home of those whom you ask for help,” said Morpheus coolly, though Harry saw a bit of detached amusement in his expression. Malfoy had no self awareness. It’s adorable how stupid he is, Harry thought, and then caught himself thinking Malfoy was adorable and became deeply troubled. “I’m…” Malfoy closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “Sorry. Please - I need advice. I can’t keep him out of my dreams.”

📻 Dedication and Desperation [T, 6.1k] 🖋️ Author: meditationsinemergencies / @meditationswrites

🎵 Summary: Diagnosed with a rare and serious illness, Draco has mostly given up until Harry comes to visit.

📻 Famous [E, 23.9k] 🖋️ Author: fwooshy / @fw00shy

🎵 Summary: It's a couple of years after the war, and Harry's bored of models now, the same way he's bored of Ron's constant nagging, bored of his Weasley monogram knitwear, bored of the same fucking grin that greets him when he hands his fire-truck red Bugatti over to the valet every night. He wants to find—well, he isn't sure what he wants. Anything but models. Harry is in the mood for...messy. And Draco Malfoy's looking like a walking disaster in the making.

📻 stitched and sewn [E, 7.9k] 🖋️ Author: @wheezykat

🎵 Summary: Harry shudders, fingertips pulsing against Draco’s thighs. He can feel the sharp, metal edge of Harry’s wedding band digging into his flesh, knows he’ll have a bruise there in the morning, a small imperfection that only he’d be able to see. It’s one of the only marks he’ll vanish, not wanting to think about its implications; the rest he’ll keep for himself. Slowly, Harry relaxes, shoulders sinking, breaths changing their cadence to a new tempo. Resigned, surrendered to this dance they do.

📻 Watch the Castles Burn [E, 21.3k] 🖋️ Author: @moonflower-rose

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy knows better than to get involved with Harry Potter. If only someone would have reminded him of that six months sooner, then maybe he wouldn't be in quite such a large mess.

🎶 H/D Wireless Podfic 🎶

📻 Modern Love [E, 61k, 5h29m] 🎙️ Podficcer: @lastontheboat 🖋️ Author: tackytiger

🎵 tackytiger’s original summary: Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is. And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what’s he doing right, that Harry isn’t? Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years. And that’s what starts it all.

📻 [Podfic] How Can I Live Without You? [Gen, 2.2k, 15min 29sec] 🎙️ Podficcer: Static_Whisper 🖋️ Author: ununquadius

🎵 ununquadius’ original summary: After Draco's death, Harry wonders how can he live without the one he loves when he's so far away.

📻 [Podfic] Keep Holding On [M, 33.3k, 3hrs 37min] 🎙️ Podficcer: @thunder-of-dragons 🖋️ Author: gnarf

🎵 gnarf’s original summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget. Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on the request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state. Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry's newest grand idea to make everything worse. Making new allies, and losing old ones along the way, will hopefully be worth it in the end.

📻 [Podfic] Kill, Fuck, Marry [E, 12.7k, 1:27:55] 🎙️ Podficcer: @timothysboxers  🖋️ Author: lettersbyelise 

🎵 lettersbyelise’s original summary: Malfoy leans toward him with a baleful look. “I do believe Pansy Parkinson, my best friend, paid you to spend the evening with me. It’s my birthday, Potter. So you’re going to get off your Gryffindor arse, and you’re going to dance with me. I want to dance. I want to win. I want that bloody trophy on my shelf before the end of the night.” Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter.

📻 [Podfic] You Still Look Like a Movie / You Still Sound Like a Song [T, 3.2k, 19:43 min] 🎙️ Podficcer: bluedreaming / @blue--dreaming 🖋️ Author: shilo1364

🎵 shilo1364’s original summary: Harry Potter doesn't want to attend his ten-year Hogwarts Reunion Ball. He doesn't want to dance. And he *definitely* doesn't want to remember his former lover, Draco Malfoy. Of course, his life has never really been dictated by what he wants.

[morgwensolsticefest]

Morgwen Solstice Winter 2020 Masterpost

Thank you everyone for a lovely fest and for participating in the first Morgwen Solstice fest! Authors have been revealed and the full list of fics can be found below or in the Ao3 Collection! :)

Title: every word I say is kindling by lordvoldemortsnipple​

Recipient:  Sable_Nakahara (@sable-nakahara)

Rating: G | Warnings: No archive warnings apply | Medium: Fanart

Summary:

A knight, a princess, and a sword laid to rest.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28718958

⚔️

Title: all of my truths by greenforsnow

Recipient: Trojie ( @trojieface)

Rating: T | Warnings: No archive warnings apply | Word Count: 4,227

Summary:

Morgana and Gwen encounter the unicorn from The Labyrinth of Gedref

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30006903

⚔️

Title: Happiness Is a Butterfly by SlantedKnitting

Recipient: Polomonkey ( @thepolomonkey)

Rating: Explicit | Warnings: none | Word Count: 17,245

Summary:

It’s time for Camelot’s hottest nightclub to host its annual couples contest. This year, Morgana and Gwen are competing, and Morgana is determined to win—and beat last year’s champions—at any cost.

Notes: Thank you to Polomonkey for the incredible prompt, and thanks to the mods for running this fest!

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29997894

⚔️

Title: when the hairpins start to drop by Trojie

Recipient: Morgwen Solstice Community

Rating: M | Warnings: None | Word Count: 1,729

Summary:

There are the unwritten rules of society, and then there are the things Morgana does. Gwen tries her best to skirt the edges of the inherent problem, but her mistress is never one to let things just be.

Notes: title from Lorde's 'White Teeth Teens'. Beta-read by the incomparable kickflaw.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29907441

⚔️

Title: my hardest goodbye by TheDragon

Recipient: Morgwen Solstice Community

Rating: E | Warnings: n/a | Word Count: 3,127

Summary:

"Morgana?" Gwen asks, bringing one hand to her mouth, eyes wide with shock. She's even more beautiful now than she was when they were both back at school. "H—how…?" "Gwen," Morgana replies, struggling to keep her voice steady. The feelings she'd tried so hard to rid herself of all those years ago rise to the fore, refusing to be held back any longer. "I can't believe my eyes," Gwen breathes.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30068049

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Title: With Eyes Wide Open (A Tragedy in Three Acts) by queerofthedagger

Recipient: Atlanta_Black ( @atlantablack)

Rating: Mature | Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Word Count: 18,200

Summary:

Everyone has a breaking point, and Morgana has always known all too well how to find each and every one of Gwen's. The enchantment Morgana tries to weave in the dark tower does not work as intended, not entirely. It's in the aftermath, though, that Gwen has to make a row of hard choices; where she has to decide for herself what she wants and what she needs. It's not easy, and they might not end up being the right decisions, but for once they are all hers and maybe that's all that matters. A story of grief, rage, (the absence of) forgiveness, and loving someone who is still alive but does not exist anymore. Of maybe taking a wrong turn that leads to the right destination.

Notes: Please mind the tags!

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30100563/chapters/74138448

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Title: You Cheer Me Up by Sable_Nakahara

Recipient: TheDragon ( @lair-of-the-dragon)

Rating: Not Rated | Warnings: no archive warnings apply | Word Count: 1,896

Summary:

Gwen’s been enamored with Morgana for about as long as she can remember. Today, she’s decided, is the day she will tell her. But will she have the nerve? And how do you court a royal lady anyhow? Or in other words: Gwen brings Morgana flowers and feelings are revealed.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30033372

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Title: Let My Hope Grow Cold by elissastillstands

Recipient: queerofthedagger ( @queerofthedagger)

Rating: G | Warnings: N/A | Medium: Art

Summary:

Come, my dear, and be a part of my home / Missing stitch and flowers on a headstone. Gwen and Morgana, the past they shared, and the present they chose. Lyrics from "October" by The Crane Wives.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768025

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Title: this graveyard of forgotten love by Atlanta_Black

Recipient: elissastillstands ( @elissastillstands)

Rating: Mature | Warnings: Creator Chose to Not Use Archive Warnings | Word Count: 10,840

Summary:

"Gently, she leads you out into the darkness / and makes you drink rain." -Patricia Smith, from "Prologue --And Then She Owns You,"

☀︎

Gwen has never fully managed to shake her love for the lady who had once sworn to keep her safe. Now locked in a tower by that same lady, she must face a truth she's long kept buried (even from herself).

An exploration of grief, anger, and the inability to let go of someone you once loved (even when you should).

Notes: This is for the lovely elissastillstands and I dearly hope you enjoy it! I hope I crafted a Gwen that's similar to the way you envision her!

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30107856

⚔️

Title: Flirting With Disaster by Polomonkey

Recipient: TheLastLonelyWriter ( @thelastlonelywriter)

Rating: Teen | Warnings: None | Word Count: 2,055

Summary:

No matter what anyone said, Gwen was not a gay disaster. A movie night at Morgana's might prove her wrong.

Notes: TheLastLonelyWriter, thank you so much for your lovely prompts, I really hope you like it <3 Somehow Morgana ended up very eccentric in this, I hope that's okay!

Impossibly huge thanks to the mods for their patience while I was being a disaster all of my own, and thank you so much for running this wonderful fest!

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30193737

⚔️

Title: Letting Go (I Want You Closer) by queerofthedagger

Recipient: @lordvoldemortsnipple

Rating: Teen and Up | Warnings: None | Word Count: 2,400

Summary:

Morgana swallows. Tells herself that the sudden shortness of air is nothing but the exertion after a long winter and tries to find the right words. Tries to find the sentences to relieve Gwen of her worry without interfering, without letting her own damned feelings get in the way of Gwen’s happiness. 

 “Morgana,” Gwen says, soft and pleading, even as her blow is strong enough to reverberate up Morgana’s arm. 

--- 

Gwen has been spending more time with Arthur, and it's fine. Really, it is. Morgana stays silent, and gives Gwen space, and tells herself that seeing Gwen happy is more than enough. Gwen's not ready to let her go so easily though, and a sparring match might bring more than one secret to light.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30228252#main

⚔️

Title: Did My Heart Love Till Now? (I Never Saw True Beauty Till This Night) by TheLastLonelyWriter 

Recipient: SlantedKnitting

Rating: General Audiences | Warnings: None Apply | Word Count: 22,622

Summary:

Gwen thought maybe the best day of her life was finding out that she had gotten the job working for the Camelot Ballet. Or maybe when she found out that Morgana Pendragon-De Bois was dancing there. As it turned out, the best day of Gwen's life would be the day that Morgana finally kissed her.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30030675/chapters/73946865

⚔️

Title: a cage of their own making by Atlanta_Black

Recipient: greenforsnow

Rating: Gen | Warnings: no archive warnings apply | Word Count: 1,519

Summary:

Gwen supposes, in retrospect, she should have guessed that Morgana also remembered (remembered it all, the castles, the betrayals, the beginning, the end, everything in between).

But she had not and now they're here, Morgana once again turning her back on her Gwen.

☀︎

Gwen won't give her up as easily this time.

Notes: This is for the lovely greenforsnow <3 This is my first time writing a modern setting or reincarnation setting for this fandom, but I really did enjoy writing this! I hope you enjoy it <3

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30245478

⚔️

Title: Giants of Albion by lordvoldemortsnipple 

Recipient: Trojie ( @trojieface)

Rating: G | Warnings: None | Medium: Fanart

Summary:

Giant of Albion's third album 'Avalon on the Horizon' was a hit, and the band prepares for another show.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797210

[waywardodysseys]

Bow Tie - Oneshot

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x female reader

Warnings: SMUT, oral receiving (m & f), unprotected sex (wrap it up), bow tie kink, cussing

Requested?: Yes from this ask - pedro and the Oscars Anon here, ok he was there and in a Bow tie my body is not better, OMFG that man in a Bow tie does things to me that it not meant to do lol, ....... HE SO HANDSOME..THANK YOU....When he in that bow tie everything NSFW lol

Author’s note: enjoy!

~   ~   ~

The town car Pedro rides in stops outside of your sister’s house on the outskirts of L.A. Pedro gets out and makes his way up the short walk to the front door. He hears the doorbell chime inside the house and the scurry of feet within.

Pedro laughs to himself as the door opens and is greeted by a young teenager.

“Aunt Y/N! Pedro’s here!” He yells towards the rest of the house.

“For heaven’s sake, let him in!” Comes the voice of the boy’s mother who is walking towards the door.

Your sister smiles at Pedro, “you look dashing Pedro.”

“Thank you!” Pedro smiles kindly. “Still wished we could’ve gotten ready together.”

You sister smiles, “Y/N wanted this to be an official date night Pedro.”

“I know.” Pedro sighs.

When you had told him you wanted to get ready at your sister’s he looked at you with sad eyes and a pout. He remembered you laughing and kissing his cheek.

“Don’t worry Pedro. You will be bringing me back to our house.” You had told him with a sly smile.

“I better be mi amor,” he had growled against your lips before kissing you.

He had then watched you leave in your sister’s car and began counting down the minutes till he would see you again.

A clearing of the throat brings Pedro back to the present. His eyes land on your five-year-old niece who’s standing at the top of the stairs.

“I present,” she begins as she descends the stairs, “Miss Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

Pedro watches as you place your hand on the bannister and begin walking down the stairs to him. His heart quickens inside of his chest.

You’ve always been beautiful to him. Tonight, you look elegant and exquisite.

His eyes take in your Y/H/C hair which is in a loose chignon at the base of your neck. His eyes travel further down and take in the one shoulder mulberry colored, floor sweeping simple and elegant gown you are wearing.

Pedro knows you aren’t one for big, frothy gowns. You prefer simple yet elegant.

He takes a step towards the stairs and holds out his hand. His eyes on you as you reach out and grab it.

Pedro pulls you into his arms, “Mi amor. Hermosa.”

You smile and press your mouth against his.

“Eww,” your niece says.

“Hey now!” your sister remarks.

Your niece giggles and runs away.

“Alright, you two,” you sister says, “go have fun!”

Pedro grabs your hand, pulling you towards the door.

You look back at your sister and mouth “thank you.”

She smiles and nods back at you.

Pedro escorts you down to the town car. Pedro opens the back door for you and slides in after you settle into the backseat.

He pulls you into his arms and kisses your temple. “Ready for date night to begin?”

You smile, “yes but most importantly I can’t wait for it to end.”

“Why?”

“So I can get you home and out of this tux. Even though I don’t mind you in it.” Your hands reach up and touch the bowtie. “I might want to use this later.”

Pedro raises an eyebrow. “Naughty.”

“Your fault. You know what bowties do to me.”

Pedro laughs, “I do.”

-------

The car you and Pedro are riding in pulls up outside of the Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts in Beverly Hills. The backdoor is opened on the passenger side.

Pedro climbs out of the car and holds his hand towards you. You grab it and once you are out you smooth out your dress. Cameras begin flashing as Pedro walks you down the carpet, towards the entrance of the building.

You two hold on tightly to one another as someone directs you to the circular disk where your official photo for the event will be taken.

“Okay,” the photographer remarks, “just a couple of pictures Mister Pascal and Miss Y/L/N.”

Pedro pulls you up against him. His hand on your hip, grasping it tightly.

You have your one arm around him. Your hand rests on his shoulder and as you smile for the photographer you move your hand down towards his lower back.

“Last one,” the photographer says.

You have a sly smile on your face as you rest your hand on Pedro’s ass.

Pedro squeezes your hip.

“Thank you both,” the photographer says with a smile.

“Minx,” Pedro whispers in your ear as he pulls you into the building.

“Just for you,” you smile as you kiss his lips lightly.

Pedro grins as he lets you pull him into the full swing of the party.

-------

Near the party’s end Pedro is pulling you out of the Wallis Annenberg Center towards the waiting town car.

You giggle as you climb in. “Onward to home driver!”

Pedro shakes his head as he climbs in next to you. “I shouldn’t have let you do the drinking contest.”

You glare at him playfully. “Blame Sarah and Amanda.”

Pedro pulls you up against him. “I’m glad I finally get to take you home.”

You reach up and press a button, making the partition close between the front and the back of the car. Once it’s closed you straddle Pedro’s lap.

Pedro moans as you run your hands up his chest. “Mi amor.”

“Pedro,” you whisper.

Pedro tastes the alcohol on your lips as you kiss him hungrily. He runs his hands up and down you back. His fingers find the zipper and he lowers it slowly. He smiles against your lips as he hears you moan.

Your own hand runs down his chest and stomach. You find the waistband of his pants. You unbutton and unzip them; you reach in and find his semi-hard cock.

“Fuck,” Pedro hisses at your touch.

“I can’t wait to have this inside me,” you whisper as you stroke his cock teasingly.

“Tell me where baby,” Pedro moans as his fingers move up and down the skin of your back.

“Inside my mouth,” you whisper as you kiss down his neck, “inside my pussy.”

“Fuck, yes,” Pedro hisses as he thinks of his cock inside of your warm mouth and tight pussy.

You remove yourself from Pedro’s lap. You use your free hand to push aside his clothing and reveal his cock to your eyes. You moan as you dip your head down.

Pedro sucks in a breath as your tongue swirls around the tip then moves down and up his cock slowly.

“Y/N,” Pedro moans as your tongue moves over his length.

You take his cock slowly into your mouth as you keep a hand at the base. You feel Pedro place a hand on top of your head.

“Yes, baby,” Pedro moans.

You lather his cock with your salvia as Pedro keeps one hand on your head and he moves the other one up and down your back. You moan as you think of what you want Pedro to do to you when you get home.

Minutes later the car stops.

Pedro zips the back of your dress back up as you release him from your mouth. He pushes his now hard cock into his pants and zips them up quickly as the driver walks to the back of the car and opens the door.

“You two have a lovely evening,” the driver states.

You smile as you get out. “Thanks, you too.”

Once Pedro is out of the car, he grabs your hand and pulls you towards your shared home in L.A. He fumbles with the keys as you wrap your arms around him, moving your hands up and down his chest over the tux.

“Y/N,” Pedro pants.

“Pedro,” you whisper.

“Damn it,” Pedro hisses.

He finally gets the right key and opens the door. He pulls you in with him and closes the door behind him. Pedro pushes you back against the door as his mouth fuses with yours.

His fingers are at the zipper of your dress again. He yanks it down then pushes the dress off your body.

You step out of it as you walk him back towards the living room. Kicking off your shoes as you walk. Your hands fumble with his pants again.

“Y/N,” Pedro sucks in a breath as your hand finds his cock.

“Pedro,” you say lightly as you kiss down his neck.

Pedro unhooks your strapless bra and throws it to the floor. His fingers find your panties and he palms your core.

“Already wet for me?” Pedro moans as he slips in a finger.

“I’m always wet for you Pedro,” you hiss as he glides a finger over your clit.

Pedro pulls you up against him then turns you, so your legs are against the couch. “Sit for me baby.”

You sit and look up at him. You watch as he unbuttons his jacket, throws it aside. He then unbuttons his vest and throws it off as well. You look up at him as he reaches for the bowtie.

“I want that.” You moan.

He raises an eyebrow as he takes it off. He places it in your outstretched hand.

You continue to watch as he strips down to his birthday suit in front of you. His hard cock stands proud.

You bite your lip and open your legs. You motion a finger for him to lean down.

Pedro presses his mouth against yours then pulls faintly back. “What are you doing mi amor?”

You reach up and hook the bowtie around his naked neck. “I told you what bowties do to me Pedro. Indulge me.”

Pedro moans, “always baby.”

You watch as Pedro stands back up. You grin. He’s naked expect for the bowtie around his neck.

You moan as you roam your own hand down your body. “God, Pedro. Fuck me.”

Pedro kneels between your open legs and dips his head. He licks up your folds and opens them with his fingers. He finds your clit and begins circling it with his tongue.

You moan and bite your lip as you weave your fingers through his hair.

Your orgasm begins building inside of you. You’ve been turned on by Pedro all evening – the tux, the bowtie, even catching him wearing his eyeglasses. This man was a walking pleasure machine and you’re glad he’s yours.

“Pedro,” you moan lowly as his tongue begins to circle your clit faster.

Your fingers clutch against his head as you feel your orgasm rushing to the edge.

“Fu—mmm—yes,” you moan loudly as your orgasm bursts inside of you.

Pedro slowly withdraws his tongue. He kisses each inner thigh as he pulls his back.

You hiss as you feel his mustache and fuzzy hair graze your sensitive thighs. You look up at him through hooded eyelashes.

Pedro’s looking down at you and grins. Your body is beautiful and your naked in front of him. “Hermosa mi amor.”

You blush as you reach and run your hands up his stomach and chest. “You’re not so bad yourself mister.”

Pedro’s skin is warm and soft under your fingers.

You travel your hands back down and run a fingertip along his hard cock.

“Y/N,” Pedro sucks in a breath.

You grin, “you know I’m ready. You are too.”

“I know baby,” Pedro moans. “I love taking in your body especially after I’m the one who gave it pleasure.”

“You always give me pleasure.” You say lightly.

Pedro sits on the couch and pulls your body over to his.

You straddle his lap as you reach down and find his cock, holding it steady as you sink slowly onto it.

You moan loudly and arch your back, “always giving me pleasure.”

Pedro sucks in a breath at finally feeling your tightness around his cock. His hands grasp your hips as you sink fully onto it and begin rolling your hips.

You look down at Pedro. You brush his lips lightly with yours as you finger the bowtie around his neck.

Pedro begins thrusting up into your pussy, meeting the rolling of your hips. He leans down and kisses you at the base of your neck then moves down your chest and kisses the valley between your breasts.

He palms one breast while his tongue flicks the nipple of the other breast. He repeats this a few times until he hears the low moan in your throat. He knows he’s giving you multiple pleasures at once.

“Pedro,” you moan as your fingers find their way through his hair again.

“Y/N,” Pedro pants as his orgasm begins rising inside of him.

You begin rolling your hips faster as your second orgasm rises inside of you at a rapid rate.

“Yes,” you hiss holding onto the last syllable of the word.

“I’m there too baby,” Pedro moans as his hands tighten on your hips.

Pedro looks up at you. Your hair still up in a chignon, you mouth agape as you moan loudly. He feels your pussy clench his cock, knowing you are orgasming.

Pedro thrusts up into you once and explodes, emptying himself inside of you.

“Pedro,” you moan as you wrap your arms around his neck and rest your body against his.

“Y/N,” Pedro moans lightly. He pulls you up against his body, letting the aftershocks of his orgasm course through him.

Both of you catch your breaths then fell sideways onto the couch. Pedro pulls you up against him and finds a cover from the back of the couch to cover you both.

Your eyes land on the bowtie, you giggle.

“What?” Pedro asks.

“Please tell me we get to keep the suit.”

“You just want the bowtie.”

You shrug as you nip as his skin around the black piece of fabric. “You should wear one more often. Just the bowtie, nothing else.”

Pedro strokes your cheek. “I indulge you too much mi amor.”

“You’re an indulgence yourself mister Pascal,” you sigh contently. “Always will be.”

Tags; @pascalisthepunkest, @kaelyn-lobrutto24, @mandadl0rian, @knight-of-heart44​, @caitlincat-95, @random066, @longitud-de-onda, @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead, @earl-01, @bonkybaaarnes, @cosmo-bear​, @jokersdoll​

[papermoonloveslucy]

ROBERT ALDA

February 26, 1914

Robert Alda was born Alfonso Giuseppe Giovanni Roberto D'Abruzzo in New York City to Italian-American immigrants. He began his performing career as a singer and dancer in vaudeville after winning a talent contest, and moved on to burlesque. His professional surname derives from the first two letters of each of his first name and his surname at birth: ALphonso D’Abruzzo.

“I learned my trade in the best of schools - burlesque.” ~ Robert Alda

In 1950 he won a Tony Award for his Broadway debut as Sky Masterson in Guys and Dolls, although he was passed over for the film in favor of Marlon Brando. Over the next two decades he appeared in four more Broadway shows. 

Five years earlier he had made his screen debut playing George Gershwin in Rhapsody in Blue (1945).  The film also featured future Lucy cast members Jay Novello, Hans Moebus, Will Wright, Jack Chefe, Oliver Blake, Paul Cristo, and Bess Flowers.  It wouldn’t take more than twenty years, but Alda would also be added to this list. 

He made his TV acting debut on the 1949 anthology series “Your Show Time” episode “The Substitute”.  The program was repeated in 1951 on “Your Story Theatre”.  He also appeared as himself in “The Teen Club” in September 1949. 

In 1955 he hosted “The Robert Alda Show” although not much is known about the program. At the same time he played his first leading role on television in “Secret File USA” doing 8 out of the 22 episodes of the series. 

His first appearance with Lucille Ball (and with Desilu) came on January 13, 1964 in “Lucy Goes To Art Class” (TLS S2;E15).  Alda played Danfield’s most eligible bachelor - and both Lucy and Viv set their sights on him at the same time when he signs up for an art class.   

Six years later, Alda played himself as the emcee of the Secretary Beautiful Pageant when “Lucy Competes with Carol Burnett” (HL S2;E24) in March 1970. The role was originally written for Don Ameche, then re-cast with Ross Martin, before Alda was finally contacted for the part.  He got to use his musical theatre skills singing the pageant’s theme.  Coincidentally, his first wife Joan Browne (mother of actor Alan Alda), was a beauty contest winner. They  divorced in 1946 after 14 years of marriage. 

It wasn’t long before Alda was back, doing what was familiar, playing musical comedy in a revival of Harry’s 1928 college show. Alda played the Dean of Bullwinkle U in “Lucy, the Co-Ed” (HL S3;E6) in October 1970. 

Oddly, Robert Alda has a principal role in the musical-within-the-show but has no corresponding 'real life’ character as the others do. Perhaps the character was cut from the opening scenes for time?  It is possible that Alda was playing himself again.

His final series appearance came a year later in the two-parter “Lucy Goes Hawaiian” (HL S3;E23 & E24) first aired February 15 & 22, 1971.  In both parts he played Captain MacClay, of the Hawaii-bound cruise ship USS Lurline.  

Again, Lucy and Viv compete for the handsome Alda’s attentions - until they find out that there is a Mrs. MacClay and she’s on the ship, too!  The surname MacClay is a tribute to Lucille Ball’s long-time publicist Howard McClay, who also loaned his name to characters on “The Lucy Show.”  The end credits, however, spell 'McClay’ as 'MacClay.’  Although Part Two ends with a musical revue, Tony-winning singer Alda is relegated to introductions and does not get a solo feature. 

Alda’s final collaboration with Lucille Ball was in 1980′s “Lucy Moves To NBC” special. Alda plays Mickey Ludin, Lucille Ball’s attorney, advising her about signing a contract with the peacock network. He shared his scene with Ruta Lee and Gary Imhoff as Fred Silverman. Coincidentally, Lucy gets a telephone call from Howard McClay, who was the real-life Executive Producer and was also the name of Alda’s character in “Lucy Goes Hawaiian”. 

Alda continued acting, notably making two appearances (1975 and 1980) on “M*A*S*H”, the series that starred his real-life sons Alan. In one episode his other son Anthony made it a family affair. Anthony’s mother was Alda’s second wife, Italian actress Flora Marino. 

His final screen appearance was on an episode of the Bea Arthur sitcom “Amanda’s Place” (a “Fawlty Towers” inspired failure) in 1983. Alda died on May 3, 1986, aged 72, after a long illness following a stroke.

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

M*A*S*H: Genre and Themes

Considering the fact that M*A*S*H is a show set during the Korean War, about a mobile army surgical hospital a few miles from the front line, it seems impossible that it could be anything but a war show, albeit a dramedy centered on Armed Farces, much like the shows Hogan’s Heroes or McHale’s Navy.  

And indeed, as it turns out, M*A*S*H is a war dramedy.  No more, no less.  This isn’t one of those times where I try to convince you otherwise.  

But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth a look anyway.  

In many previous ‘genre’ articles, I’ve mentioned the basic fact that there are very few pieces of media, whether movies, shows, or books, that can be placed in only one category of genre.  As I’ve pointed out, even the most apparently one-dimensional works of art contain aspects common to other genres, which makes sense.  No show is created to fit in one single category, and the best examples fit into several.  Although most shows are able to be categorized into one main genre, the fact is, a film or show tends to naturally carry more characteristics of one specific genre than others.

In the case of M*A*S*H, though, the melding point between the genres can be a little tricky to spot.  In a show like this, picking out the ‘dominant’ genre is harder than one might think.  It’s a sitcom that refused to stick to format (or a laugh track), a war show that lasted three times longer than the war it was about, and a drama that was more than capable of laughing through the tears and heartache inherent to the tragedy of the situation around them.

In other words, each individual genre of M*A*S*H ‘mashes’ together, to the point where they’re inseparable from one another.

So, naturally, we’re going to see how that works.  Today, we’re going to be analyzing M*A*S*H in order to dissect its use of genre, be it comedy, war, or drama, and how these all fit together to create the most iconic war sitcom of all time.

Let’s take a look, starting with the opening credits.

The opening credits of a show can say a lot about it. The theme of a television show is there for a reason, and not just so that people have time to get their snacks and sit down before the story starts, and it’s not just to list the cast and crew.  No, the opening credits for any show set the stage for the show, the ‘setup’, giving the audience members a taste of what’s to come.  The music choice and the decision in what clips are used is instrumental in setting up the audience’s expectations, as done in sitcoms like Growing Pains, with shots of the main family over upbeat music, or Star Trek, with an instrumental exciting theme over the Enterprise soaring through space.

With that said, how does M*A*S*H open?

Well…not in a particularly funny way, I’ll say that much.

The music used for the opening credits for M*A*S*H is an instrumental variation of the theme used for the film: titled ‘Suicide is Painless’.  While losing an edge of ‘grimness’ thanks to the lack of lyrics, the visuals accompanying it are anything but uplifting.

The sequence shown over the opening of each M*A*S*H episode is the same: helicopters arriving from the front with wounded.  Hawkeye Pierce and (depending on the season) either Trapper McIntyre or B.J. Hunnicut approach the choppers, examining the patients, and delivering orders, taking them back down to the camp.

It’s not funny, it’s not uplifting…it’s war.

And that’s the point.

Each M*A*S*H episode opening is the demonstration of the central tone of the entire series: no matter what hijinks are going on in this episode, be they Radar learning to DJ or Klinger going for the pole-sitting record, in the end, they are in a war, and people are getting hurt, and killed, and that’s why these people are here: to stop it as best they can.  The opening of each episode is the reminder of that: that these men are doctors, and for all of their insanity, in the end, they care about the patients.  No jokes, no smiles, just business.

So, how does that reflect the show it belongs to?

To be honest, the opening can seem a bit incongruous with the show itself, at times.  Especially in the early years.  

M*A*S*H is often remembered as a war sitcom, which, in all fairness, it was.  It was funny.  Episodes like “Adam’s Ribs”, “Yankee Doodle Doctor”, and “Captain Tuttle” are just a few in a large selection of episodes focused around making the audience (and characters) laugh.  Watching B.J. and Hawkeye play a game with no rules is really entertaining, and so is watching Henry Blake’s desk get flown off in a trade for medical supplies.  But what’s important to remember is, M*A*S*H was no Hogan’s Heroes.  

At the end of the day, the situation, as funny as it might have been, was not ‘okay’.  There was no sense of overall ‘security’ like there was in other war sitcoms: in M*A*S*H, the war took center stage.

The best example of M*A*S*H’s use of genre may be in the early episode, “Yankee Doodle Doctor”.  The episode itself is pretty simple: A documentary is being made about the 4077th, which, as the staff soon discovers, is essentially war propaganda.  Hawkeye and Trapper destroy the footage in existence, in order to create their own ‘film’.  The movie they make is a Marx Brothers pastiche, intentionally over-the-top humorous…until the end of the episode.

The final shot of the 4077th’s film is not a closing joke from the Groucho-esque Hawkeye Pierce.  Rather, it is a monologue, delivered by Hawkeye from Post-Op:

“Three hours ago, this man was in a battle. Two hours ago, we operated on him. He’s got a 50-50 chance. We win some, we lose some. That’s what it’s all about. No promises. No guaranteed survival. No saints in surgical garb. Our willingness, our experience, our technique are not enough. Guns, and bombs, and anti-personnel mines have more power to take life than we have to preserve it. Not a very happy ending for a movie. But then, no war is a movie.”

He’s right.  This isn’t a happy ending, and it’s not a funny one, either.  And that is what M*A*S*H is all about.

M*A*S*H was a sitcom in that it was full of characters being funny, often accompanied by the laugh-track that was part of the package of a comedy show of the time.  On the other hand, the show was also a war show, constantly tackling ideas like coping with death.

Both of these are huge parts of its identity as a show, but in the end, that’s not what M*A*S*H was really about.  It was about the people.

M*A*S*H may have started out as a show about a bunch of off-the-wall doctors engaging in wacky hijinks and antics, but it ended as a family struggling together to hold onto sanity in the middle of a war.  As with most television shows, the characters and individual plots for M*A*S*H are directly influencing the genre it’s placed in, and as a result, it’s a little hard to pin down.

Like I said, the show is centered around the personnel in a M*A*S*H unit, and their struggle to maintain control of their lives in an uncontrollable situation.  And while these episodes aren’t always realistic, or even remotely plausible, the characters feel realistic and plausible, flexible enough to fit into multiple genres and scenarios without changing.

There are funny episodes, and tragic episodes, but honestly, most were bittersweet.  Life, and war, are messy, and episodes like “Good-Bye, Radar”, “The Interview”, “Old Soldiers”, or even “Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen” were reminders of that.  M*A*S*H couldn’t shy away from what it was, to do so would be dishonest.

To quote Hawkeye himself:

“If jokes seem sacrilegious in an operating room, I promise you they’re a necessary defense against what we get down here at this end of the draft board.”

In the end, that’s what the show was all about.

Characters were exaggerated, sure.  Scenarios were somewhat removed from reality.  But at the end of the day, M*A*S*H understood that life, and war, don’t have a genre.  There is drama, and there is comedy, and the two are intermixed, underscored by the occasional laugh-track, used sparingly as the show went on.

It’s important to note that the drama in the show wasn’t always big drama.  It wasn’t always steady streams of patients into the O.R., or Hawkeye’s mental breakdowns.  Sometimes it was Radar’s mom trying dating again, or Margaret getting married.  And just the same, the comedy on the show wasn’t always big-laugh moments like the Mulcahy sound-alike contest.  Typically, the comedy in M*A*S*H was rooted in something else: interactions between characters.

The humor in M*A*S*H was less reliant on ‘wacky hijinks’ and more grounded in Radar’s sneaky side-insults, Frank Burns putting his foot in his mouth, B.J. and Hawkeye laughing at one another’s jokes, or Mulcahy’s willful ignorance of some of the camp’s activities.  The audience laughs with these characters, rather than at them.  The characters feel like developed people, with lives and goals, and as a result, the humor and the drama work well together, rather than feeling juxtaposed.  

In other words, M*A*S*H was a war show, full of good dramatic stories, with funny, memorable characters.

Thirty years after the most-watched television finale in America, that’s what people remember about M*A*S*H.  We may forget the specifics of “The Longjohn Flap”, but the audience remembers what happens to these people, and the experiences they had.  Those characters, and the situation, still holds up, and even today, viewers can still relate to those characters and their experiences.  The laughs, the tears, and all the spots in-between, still speak to an audience, nearly a hundred years after the war the show was about.

Join us next time as we take a look at the personnel of the 4077th, and figure out what made them one of the most memorable casts in television history.  Thanks so much for reading, and I hope to see you in the next article.

[marvelgbt-posts]

Forever

{Peter Parker x Male Reader}

Warnings: none… angst…? slight self hate ig but idk you’ll see…

Summary: a peter parker x male reader where peter gets insecure about mj and readers friendship since he sees how good they look together and knew MJ had a slight crush on reader. Reader fixes the problem by cuddling him, giving him slight kisses on his neck and just some fluffy shit. also cute bby boy peter being all flushed and cute

I really hate giving MJ this role, but ok :/ and also, what do you us think about MJ and Peter in FFH? Personally, i dont like it. I’ll make it it’s own post, it’s mostly a personal preference though.

(not edited)

“OMG, [M/N]. You’re too funny,” MJ said, a slightly happier tone to her voice than usual. You smiled, taking the small smack to your arm with a soft laugh as well. Peter watched across the lunch table while Ned was too occupied with the game on his phone. He pouted; you seemed to be having way more fun with MJ than with him. Lunch was almost over- oh no, wait, that was the bell…

You stood up from your seat as Peter gathered his stuff. He waited for you to walk him to his next class, as you usually did so. MJ also stood up, looking at Peter, “Hey, loser,” Peter had found himself being called ‘loser’ a lot by MJ- probably more than he found himself being called that by Flash- but he knew she was joking, “Aren’t you and I together for History?” Peter nodded, “Oh yeah, I forgot,” he usually had Math right after Lunch, but today was Thursday. Thursday schedule was always weird for him. You began dragging yourself behind and in between them. Ned had already disappeared; his next class was all the way across the hall from where their classes were, so he had to hurry. You spoke up, “I have Biology next anyway. It’s right down the hall from there.”

“Neeerd!” MJ laughed, yelling into your ear. You tried to move away from the noise, a smile playing to your lips, “Oi, idiot, that hurt!” MJ smirked, “Good.” Peter fumed- he felt like he was the third wheel when it was supposed to be MJ. He was dating you, not her. Though, to be fair, not that many people knew. Just the two of you, Ned, Aunt May, Mr. Stark, Happy, and the rest of the Avengers. MJ didn’t, and Peter felt like he should tell her- if not for it being for the reason of ‘she should know because she’s my friend’, then at least for ‘omg stop touching him he’s my boyfriend’. And there she goes, touching you again. Though, this time she used her own shoulder to bump into yours instead.

Peter heard a small murmur, “Doesn’t MJ look really cute next to [M/N]?”

“Yeah, she’s definitely happier around him.”

“She smiled a lot when with him.”

“Their both into the arts; she likes reading and drawing, he likes music and (insert an artistic talent/interest).”

Soon, Peter began hearing things other than just small murmurs and chattering around him. It felt as if he could hear everything everyone was saying. Wasn’t that a side effect of his spider-like abilities? Perhaps it was, Peter couldn’t remember at the moment.

“Yeah, they’re practically made for each other.”

“They make a good couple.”

“Did you hear that MJ and [M/N] got a full score on their project for Art?”

“Oh yeah, they were parters, right?”

“Yeah, MJ made the layout of the sketch and [M/N] finished it up. He did his own thing as well, and they ended up getting their art submitted into the contest happening at the art museum.”

Then, Peter felt as if he couldn’t breathe.

“So cute.”

“Wow, they make a good couple.”

“Peter looks like such a third wheel.”

His own thoughts mixed with the other small talk around him, and it surrounded him in a pit of black.

“He looks like such a loser.”

“Wow, no one would be interested in him anyway.”

“No one likes a nerd.”

“Peter is a loser.”

“Peter is a nerd”

“Peter is lame.”

“No one likes Peter.”

“Peter-“

“Peter!” You shouted in his ear, and Peter jolted up. “O-Oh, yeah?”

“Isn’t this our class?” MJ asked, pointing to the door. Peter nodded sheepishly, looking over at you. You smiled, “Have fun learning about a bunch of dead guys. I’m off to math!” You pumped your fist up in mock excitement. MJ laughed and Peter gave a small chuckle, “H-Have fun.” You nodded, “Sure wont.”

***

3rd person P.o.V.

[M/N] met up with Ned, MJ, and Peter after school. “Hey guys!” He greeted, wrapping an arm around Peter’s shoulders. Peter resisted the urge to lay his head on the other male and just looked at him and smiled instead. [M/N] smiled back, but Peter felt like their was this other feeling in the other male’s eyes he couldn’t quite read. “Uh, hey,” [M/N] started, “Parker, you feeling up to a study session today?” Peter pretended to think, nodding soon after, “Sure, dont have any plans today anyway. Lemme text Aunt May, though, first.”

‘Study session’ was a code name for ‘miniature date at my house’. Peter had grown to love the words very much because then it was just them two, and it was normally [M/N] showering Peter in love and affection for the whole night- if he didn’t have Spidey-duty that day, that is. Peter pulled his phone out from his back pocket, pulling up Aunt May’s number. “Can I come too?” MJ asked, “Or is it just one of your gay things?” MJ huffed in amusement at her own joke, not realizing the irony of it. She tried sounding nonchalant about it, but not wanting to break her heart, [M/N] let her off easy, “Uhh, my house is really messy. I feel like Peter can handle it, but I dont wanna make you run off because you’re scared of my pigsty of a home.” He laughed. MJ chuckled, “Wow, gender equality, dude. Whatever happened to that?” [M/N] shook your head, “maybe next time. You don’t have anything and Peter usually spends the night, so it’d be weird, wouldn’t it?” MJ nodded, seemingly disappointed, “yeah, whatever. It’s cool.”

“Done!” Peter chirped, and MJ began walking off. Ned had also run off somewhere. “Good!” [M/N] smiled, “I have you all to myself for the rest of the evening!”

2nd person P.o.V.

Once the two of you made it home, Peter put his stuff down onto the floor in your room while you prepared some food. Since it was Thursday, you guys weren’t assigned that much homework, so you and Peter would probably finish it in the small intervals before classes. You prepared some snacks like popcorn and candy while Peter changed his clothes. He also took the time to pick out clothes for you- a loose white T-shirt with black basket ball shorts. He wore a white shirt- of course, a nerdy one with a scientific pun on it (the two atoms; one asking if the other is positive it lost a electron)- with one of your boxers. He walked out, socks protecting his feet from the cold floor. He scrunched his nose at the smell, smiling.

“You wanna pick out the movie?” Peter asked, wrapping his arms around your waist. You turned around, wrapping your arms around him as well. They made their way around both his arms, one hand holding the other to trap the smaller boy in an embrace. “No, you can pick,” you smiled, tilting your head to kiss Peters lips quickly, “so long as it isn’t Star Wars or Lord of the Rings again. Please. I can’t go through another marathon again.” Peter whined playfully, “But [M/N]!” You stuck your tongue out, “Too bad.”

Peter reciprocated the action, and you both let out a sigh of giggles. “Anyway,” you continued, “You want anything specific to eat?” Peter shook his head and you nodded. You let him go and he went over to the couch. He flipped though the many channels on the TV before settling on a Disney movie. “Is that Disney?” You asked, walking in with a bowl of popcorn, two sodas, and a plate of cookies. Peter watched in awe as you balanced everything. “Yeah,” he answered, “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

“Aw, sweet!” You fist-bumped the air, “love that movie.” Peter nodded, leaning to rest his head on your shoulder, he had been deprived of physical touch for a while. He just wanted to spend time with you, was what he thought as he wrapped his arms around you. Your arm wrapped around his waist while the other ate from the supported the bowl of popcorn on your lap. Peter stole some as well, and you watched as the movie began with its intro of the parents trying to save their defaced child from the protagonist.

“It’s kinda inappropriate, dont you think?” You asked Peter after a while, and Peter looked at you confused, eyes squinted Ashe seemingly judged you. “How? It’s a Disney movie?”

“Well, I mean, it talks about gypsies. Aren’t they visualized as prostitutes? And that seen where Esmeralda dances for that old dude, you can see he’s clearly turned on.” You shook your head, “never mind…”

When the movie was over, you cleaned up the remaining food and placed it down to be cleaned later. You carried a very, very tired Peter Parker up to your room. You laid him on the bed and dimmed the lights. He gripped onto you desperately, “Dont move, dont go anywhere…” he said, “Can we stay like this forever…?” He asked tiredly, and you laughed softly, “No, we have school tomorrow.” Peter whined childishly, “forget school. I can make us enough money by being Spider-Man, we dont need education.”

“Peter, my parents would kill me if they found out i dropped out of high school to piggy back on my superhero boyfriend for money.” Peter let out a huff, and the two of you let out quiet, breathy chuckles. He leaned close to you, noses touching. He then frowned, “Do you like MJ?” The question was sudden and it caught you off guard. “Well, i mean… yeah, we’re friends…”

“No, i mean… like like her…?”

You let out an ‘ohhh’, suddenly realizing Peter’s behavior earlier (the cause of your strange glint Peter noted earlier). “No, baby,” you smiled, “I’m not romantically interested in her, if that’s what you’re thinking.” “But,” he began, a slight pout on his lips. God, he was really tired, “she was all over you today, shamelessly flirting with you. You didn’t seem to mind it though…”

“Peter,” you began, stroking his hair a bit, “I dont like MJ. I like you. No, I love you. A lot. So dont think that.” You moved to lay Peter on top of you, taking his hands and intertwining them with yours as he made himself comfortable on your chest. “I know,” Peter started, playing with your fingers a bit, “its just… everybody says you two look good together. I guess i just didnt like the feeling of you with another person, even if it’s just the public appeal and not reality. Sorry…” You shook your head, “dont apologize, baby. It’s normal to feel jealous…”

Peter was quick to defend, lifting his head up to glare at you accusingly, “I wasn’t jealous!” You laughed, “yeah, and I’m not dating Spider-Man.” Peter sighed, resting in his previous position. He mumbled another, ‘I wasn’t jealous…’ and you just nodded. You began running your hands through his hair, to which he quickly responded by sighing and relaxing even further into your chest.

A few minutes of running your hands through his hair later, Peter got bored and slightly irritated of the position. He moved to sleep next to you, with you spooning him. You wrapped your arms around him and gently played it his stomach, felling up and down his abs. He whimpered lightly, curling a bit at the ticklish feeling. His body began to heat up; you could feel it. “Are you still upset?” You asked softly, and Peter nodded. You sighed, placing soft kisses to Peter’s neck. He leaned back, face flushed red as you continued up his neck to his jaw. He turned his head to face you, and gave you a soft kiss. You to didnt move, instead you stayed there and took in the presence of each other.

When you two pulled away, Peter had the brightest blush on his face. He huffed, eyes falling closed, “I wasn’t jealous.”

“Of course you weren’t,” you smiled, “who said you were?”

You turned off the light once Peter finally fell asleep. The two of you stayed like that for the rest of the night- and, to be honest, if you could, you would stay like that forever if you could.

Panicked gay moment; had no clue what to write for MJ, sry sry sry anon (._.”)

[dementeris]

Peter Parker [bursting into the living room] : I’ve found a new game !

Clint Barton [rising an eyebrow] : Cool, how do you play it, Spidey ? Tactics to confuse your challengers?

Thor [countering] : Strength to make them kneel ?

[Loki’s silent thoughts: Why do I feel irony right now?]

Tony Stark: Incredible ingeniousness to let them see how awesome you are?

Peter Parker [scratching his neck nervously]: Hum, not really… it’s more about vocabulary and speed…

 ~ The three men exit the room, all of them suddenly pretending to remember some kind of urgent affair ~

 Shuri [taking him in a supportive embrace]: Aw, don’t be sad, Pete : I’m interested ! So let’s play together, yeah?

Loki [closing his book]: Your friend is right, Spiderchild. Forget about those brutes, they wouldn’t have achieved anything but destroying this place at the first argue anyway…

Peter Parker [quite overwhelmed by the sudden affection]: T-Thank you, you two. But it will be better if there are one or two more players.

Stephen Strange [making a surprisingly human and non-supernatural entry]: Then, may I offer my participation?

Loki [hissing slightly]: Tss, nobody cares, Doctor I-want-to-be-a-sorcerer.

Peter Parker [on a begging child’s tone]: Mister Loki, please!

Shuri [giving Loki a vigorous tap against his back]: Come on, big guy, it will be fun!

Stephen Strange [sitting in the nearest armchair]: Don’t ruin the mood, Thirty-minutes-falling God. And after all, since it shouldn’t break our universe’s balance, I can do what I want for once, can’t I?

[Loki’s silent thoughts – second take: Is it a quotes’ contest or something?!]

Peter Parker: Okay, So let’s begin with the rules!

 ~ Le Petit Bac : a french game in which your goal is to be the first to complete a succession of words, each one belonging to a specific category and beginning by a same letter. These ones are defined by the players before the party starts. For the first player who finishes his list, there’s one bonus point. Then, every player compare their words, so if two or more of them have found the same one, 0 point counted. On the contrary, if you manage to propose a unique word, take 1 point. Continue the same process by taking new letters. At the end, the player with the higher score win ! ~

 Peter Parker [wearing a beaming smile] : Understood ? At worst, the first round is always here to do some practice.

Shuri : Right, so we need different classes to start. Any suggestions?

 ~ Few minutes later ~

 Peter Parker [counting on his fingers] : So we have : domestic pets, colours, …

Shuri : Advanced technologies…

Stephen Strange : Mystical artefacts…

Loki : And fantastic creatures…

Peter Parker [shrugging] : Well, it’s a bit original, although not unexpected. Next step : Mister Loki, can you read alphabet in your mind and give me a letter when I tell you to stop ?

Loki : Sure, child, but which alphabet do you want me to use ? Asgardian’s or Midgardian’s? In the second case : latin, hebraic, manda- ?

Shuri [throwing a tired glance towards the Asgardian] : Don’t mind it, I will do it!

Peter Parker : Huh, thanks Shu ! So………….. Stop!

Shuri : T !

Stephen Strange [brows furrowing] : Hum, well, it promises to be entertaining.

Loki [smirking devilishly] : Already admitting your defeat, Strange ?

Stephen Strange [completely ignoring the tease] : You may have had the privilege to accumulate a monstrous amount of knowledges through your life, immortal, but don’t underestimate me and the Sorcerer Supreme’s teaching.

Peter Parker : L-Let’s started !

 ~ Not even two minutes later ~

 Loki [making his pen click dramatically] : And… Finish !

Peter and Shuri [in unison] : What ?!

Stephen Strange [mumbling to himself] : Tss, I had just one left…

Peter Parker : B-But how- ?! Hum, no problem, you got one point there, let’s just… Check your words, ‘kay ?

   ~ And so goes the Scores’ debrief and commentaries ~

·       A fantastic creature

Peter Parker : Thunderbird  (Hey, Have you seen the Fantastic Beasts, Doctor Strange ? / Depends of which ones you’re talking about, Peter…)

Shuri : -

Stephen Strange : Tokoloshe (I’m surprised you didn’t find this one, Miss Shuri : it normally comes from South-Africa / I’m an engineer, not a wizard…)

Loki : Triton

 ·       A mystical artefact

Peter Parker : -

Shuri : Talisman (That’s also a category, Shu… / I said : I’m not a wizard !)

Stephen Strange : Time Stone (This one was easy…)

Loki : Tesseract (For once, I agree with you / Aw man, how can have I let pass these ones ?!)

 ·       An advanced technology

Peter Parker : Tracer

Shuri : Trans-dimensional Teleportation device (That’s my domain…)

Stephen Strange : Tracer (I’m not a big technologies’ user myself / Well, think it’s 0 point for us, Doctor…)

Loki : Television (Man, really ? / Should I remember you that I come from a Realm where Magic is our best technology ?)

 ·       A colour

Peter Parker : Taupe (Miss Pepper-Potts knows a lot of things when it comes to space design !)

Shuri : -

Stephen Strange : Topaz

Loki : Terra Cotta (Hey, isn’t that one a dessert ?! / Peter, you’re again mistaking it for “Panna Cotta”…)

 ·       A domestic pet

Peter Parker : Tarantula (I assure you they’re really nice !)

Shuri : Tiger (Come to Wakanda for the next holidays, Pete, and I will show you how to ride one !)

Stephen Strange : -

Loki : …

  Shuri [astonished] : “Thor” ?! How’s that, “Thor”?! I’ve let pass the television-thing, but this one?!

Loki [perfectly calm] : I don’t see where is the problem with that one : the rules don’t say that proper nouns are forbidden.

Peter Parker [trying to sound sympathetic to the both of them] : I’m sorry, Mister Loki, but I have to agree with Shu on this point…

Stephen Strange [maybe a bit concerned] : I know your relations with your brother weren’t the most… amicable. But still, Loki, you can’t consider him as an anim- !

Loki [shrugging] : Then give me a definition of what is a “domestic pet” according to your standards…

Peter Parker : Hum, well, to start that’s a living being with whom you have created a special and profound bond. It’s a proof of affection, even if it can be overwhelming sometimes…

Shuri : As a life partner, he never object to help you and make you feel better when you need him…

Stephen Strange : And, for some of them, when the danger arises, he won’t hesitate to protect you.

Loki : So you gave me the terms, I now feel obliged to give you the facts in return.

 ~ At the same moment, loud laugh and stomping steps echo through the corridor ~

 Loki [sighing with a grin] : Speaking of the dog…

Peter Parker : Huh, the correct expression is “the dev-“…

Thor [almost running towards the group] : Brother ! We and the Captain have returned victorious from our mission! Oh, hello again, Spiderchild ! And nice to see you too Shuri, Sister of the Black Warrior, and Strange, Master of the Magic Cape!

Stephen Strange [massaging his temples] : For the umpteenth time, it’s a Cloak, not a ca- !

Loki [an ounce of worry in the voice] : Thor, you oaf, what’s that red mark on your armour ? Have you let yourself be hurt? Again?!

Thor : Oh! This? Don’t worry for that little scratch, Loki : it takes more than that to kill me ! [gently ruffling his hair and taking him in a warm strong suffocating embrace] And what about you? How have your day been so far?

 ~ Proof of overwhelming affection : checked ~

 Loki [gasping for air] : Good, good : I h-have been playing with the m-mortals. But l-let me breathe n-now!! And can you go take me s-some water, p-please?

Thor [finally releasing Loki] : Of course I can !!

 ~ He then goes straight to the kitchen, bringing back a large glass of fresh water with even some snacks which have been neglectfully left on the counter. Next time, Clint would have to let a warning note for his lunch’s sake ~

 Thor [beaming radiantly] : Here ! I must say that I’m glad to see that you’ve finally found some friends to spent time with!

 ~ Proof of selfless carefulness : checked ~

 Loki [now sounding nervous] : Yeah, you’re… right, brother…

Thor [brows furrowing] : Loki ? Is something wrong? You don’t seem convinced.

Loki [waving his hand slightly] : Oh no, I… That’s really nothing’s big anyw- …

Thor [taking his hand in a comforting manner] : Nonsense! So, what is it brother?

Loki [avoiding Thor’s gaze] : It’s really nothing, it’s just that he…

Thor [now panicked] : Come on, lillebror, tell me!

Loki [nearly crying and pointing an accusing finger towards a perplex Doctor Strange] : H-He called me a m-monster!

Thor [roaring] : He what!?!

Stephen Strange [too but incredulous] : I what!?!

Loki [now almost crying] : A-And he menaced me with his fa-falling portals too!

Thor [fulminating] : Strange, how dare you?!

Stephen [holding his hand in surrender] : Thor, please, let me explain ! I’ve used those words, but it was not in this con- !

Thor [battle’s death mode : on] : Your magic won’t save you from the wrath of a god! Mine!!

 ~ If one of the other Avengers would have entered the room right now, he would have surely wondered why on Earth an ancient blond god was chasing after a mystic Art’s sorcerer with a hammer and all lightning’s effects, screaming “Get back here and face your fate, wizard!!” ~

 Loki [rising an eyebrow in expectation] : So… Does it mean I won?

Peter Parker [eyes glued to the scene] : Protect when the danger arises : checked.

Shuri : I still maintain that he putted the danger above the Doctor’s head…

Loki [grinning maniacally] : Double-win for me then.

[aftermathdb]

DEATH BATTLE review: All Might vs. Might Guy

First Atlantis^2, then Widow^2, then Marvel^2, then ONE^2, and now Might^2.

(Holy Hell! I have exactly 100 screenshots for this episode!)

All Might′s Preview.

We open on a world where superpowers are common.

A world where schools are everywhere so that people can harness their powers.

These “Quirks” are varied, and some are… not that great.

But one aspiring hero would rise up to be the greatest hero around. Toshinori Yagi, who was given the greatest Quirk of all: One for All.

The hosts go over how badass this Quirk is. But more specifically how it’s the Quirk that can be passed down to other users.

Toshinori got his from Nana Shimura, and he became the ever-smiling All Might.

All Might keeps that smile on his face to ensure that everyone around him feels safe.

Thanks to All Might’s Quirk, he’s got everything from Super Strength, speed, stamina, and durability.

Aside from Boomstick’s apparent ability to manifest seafood, the hosts go over All Might‘s main powerset.

Interestingly enough, All Might’s tendency to name his moves after the US is kinda accurate.

For example, the Texas Smash and Oklahoma Smash both create forms of tornadoes. And guess what states are smack-dab in the way of those things?

But All Might can combine those States together in one extremely powerful attack: The United States of Smash. PLUS ULTRA!

The power of the USoS is actually quantifiable. Given the size of the storm compared to the buildings around it, the force would be over 11,000 tons of TNT.

All Might can also move at speed around Mach 29.

Now, here’s the thing: All Might’s doing a lot of this with a handicap. So these moves are still impressive. Since DEATH BATTLE takes a look at these characters in their prime, those are the stats that would be used. In his hayday, All Might would be 60 times more powerful.

He’s on par with many a fighter, like Nomu, whom he had punched 300 times in ten seconds.

Even when crippled, All Might’s proven exactly why he’s been the number one hero for years.

Might Guy′s Preview.

a

In the world of Naruto, there exists schools that train the best Ninjas around. These schools would essentially teach Ninjutsu and Genjutsu, or in Boomstick’s terms, Ninja Magic.

But one ninja doesn’t really have that. Rock Lee was never really that good at the whole “Ninja Magic” thing, so when he found a mentor, it was a good thing for him.

Enter: Might Guy.

Despite not having that great of skill when compared to the other guys, Might Guy and his dad opted to focus on one thing and become the undisputed master of it:

Punching people (Thanks for the description there, Boomstick).

Strong Fist is a subset of Taijutsu, or hand-to-hand combat. A hard martial art that is focused on breaking the bones of the opponent.

Only the toughest people can really use Strong Fist according to the hosts, and it comes with it’s own set of skills.

But it’s a really big double-edged sword.

And we get more into that double-edged sword by an animated segment.

Regardless, the technique Guy and Duy developed was the Eight Gates.

With these Gates, they can unlock a whole slew of crazy abilities by way of removing limits on the body. From mental inhibitions, to physical limitations.

Some of these Gates are safe to use. Numbers 1-3 are good to go, but once you go past that, you’re in trouble.

At Gate numero six, Guy moves so fast that his fists ignite the air around him and can be used as projectiles.

In order to ignite the Hydrogen in the air, Guy’s swinging at speeds at 40000 km/h.

For reference, that’s nearly five times as fast as the X-15 Rocket Jet, the fastest man-made jet that has been made so far.

Gate Seven is still relatively safe for Guy, according to the hosts, but the final Gate is a fatal attack.

That’s not some sort of “Battle Aura” you’re seeing around Guy, that’s his blood burning. With this, he can use… “Night Guy.”

Yeah, I’m a little unimpressed too.

This form was able to decimate Madara. You should know that guy by now. He’s the deadly villain that could take on Naruto and easily defeat him in base mode.

Naruto’s super modes are definately better that Guy’s best mode, but it’s also way better than Jiraya’s best move.

Guy is also a match for Kakashi, who could catch lightning.

Kakashi’s speed clocks in at around 763000 m/s, so Guy is definitely in that ballpark.

And with all the feats he has, he’s proven to be a badass through and through. It takes a lot to bring down this Mighty Guy.

… Yeah, the end quote doesn’t exactly inspire greatness, but eh, it’s probably iconic (Really sorry, not a Naruto fan).

The Battle Itself.

Torrian is back to head this project, All Might will be voiced by Kaiji Tang, while All Might was voiced by a guy named “Dick Splitter” (No, I’m not making that up). "Mighty” by both Brandon Yates and Therewolf sprite artist (If there are any), and audio lead by Chris Kokkinos.

Our fight starts with Guy sitting in a park, reading a bit of Manga. For those eagle-eyed viewers, you’ll notiice that he’s reading a My Hero Academia book. I’ve circled it for you.

Anyways, All Might drops in and does his dramatic enterance. After geeking out, Guy challenges him to…

An ARM WRESTLING CONTEST!

Which All Might readily accepts.

I want to go on record and say that this initial explosion is in essence, them just starting.

And can I also point out the absurdity in the ground being cratered before the table? Like what is that table made of?- Adamantium?

Well, my accusation is unlikely. The table breaks, and then the two duke it out. Not out of jealousy or because one of them accused the other of sabotaging the contest, but because they’re just that hammy.

So with the fight underway, these two go at it. It’s readily clear that All Might has the edge up in strength over Base Guy, but Guy is certainly faster  given how often he dodges the attacks that All Might dishes out.

He even gets a perfect 10 on his dodging!

I want it to be known that Might Guy actually dodged this attack. He clearly has the speed advantage.

And these two just keep complimenting each other! Like, come on! Who am I supposed to root for here?

Anyways, Guy opens his Sixth Gate, which gives him an edge up over All Might.

And you want to know what’s better than a beam struggle?- A Barrage attack struggle.

What’s better than that?

When the barrages are fire vs wind!

They make an explosion that brings Guy to the ground, and he opens the Seventh Gate.

He unleashes his Daytime Tiger, and actually puts All Might on the defensive.

Here’s my question: How is it that all that power is being condensed in that one park? Those buildings should have destableized by now!

Anyways, Finishing Blow in

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Might Guy gets impaled! Well, it was a good run, and he certainly put up quite the fight…

And he’s also not done yet. We still have one more Gate.

REAL finishing blow iin

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

You gotta wonder what the report by the  authorities and news is going to be like.

Verdict + Explanation.

So, right off the bat, this fight actually is close. Guy’s Gates were really the big thing that was letting him keep up with All Might and his  speed was certainly nothing to sneeze at.

Now, As for All Might, since DEATH BATTLE was looking at him in his prime, they had to scale accordingly.

All Might himself claimed that a fight he finished in 300 punches could have been done in 5. So that means that the All Might that is being used is 60 times stronger.

Take this feat for example, All Might’s foe Gigantomachia, once blew a hole through the mountain. Adding in the X60 multiplier, and All Might’s batting in the 154.8 Gigaton range.

However, Guy is still way faster, add in his better training and more versatile arsenal, Might Guy just needed to hit All Might harder than All Might could hit him.

All Might’s feat of changing the weather clocks in at about 1462 Gigatons of TNT.

Now, that’s impressive and all, but Guy hasn’t really shown his full power.

So we have to compare him to another person that we’ve seen all too many times before: Naruto.

Now remember: Base Naruto < Madara, and Night Guy > Madara.

As we’ve seen all too many times before, Naruto’s Base Chakra was enough to blow a hole through the moon.

How much force is that?

About 480 Petatons of TNT.

How much is a Petaton?

A million Gigatons. Simply put All Might > Might Guy, but Night Guy > All Might. Sure, Guy goes down not too long after using the attack, but he wins in the moment, and that’s what matters.

The winner is Might Guy.

Overall impression.

I came into this thinking “This feels more like season premiere material.” Something to hype up the crowd for the upcoming season. And I was right in the absolute most wrong sense of the word. The fight is spectacular, and it makes me want to read up on MHA. In all honesty, if this were a season premiere,  everything after it would feel boring in comparison.

Now, admittedly, this was basically just a fistfight. A battle of who could punch harder than the other guy. Which isn’t very exciting on it’s own, but is still interesting given the characters.

Plus, given that no sane parent would ever give their kid the name “Richard” if their  last name was “Splitter”  I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say that this is the official VA for Guy.

I’m not going to link to his twitter, I’d rather he not get in trouble, but it’s still pretty cool.

Then again, my dad knew a guy named “Richard Head” so I guess the name “Dick Splitter” isn’t that farfetched. Who knows, maybe this is a real name.

Tangent aside, this battle was epic in all sense of the word. I’m sure there are a lot of references that I missed because of my lack of knowledge on these two, but it was a joy to see, and the music is awesome. Definitely looking forward to downloading it.

9.6/10.

Next Time…

I’m calling…

… Well shit. I don’t know what to call. But I recognize Miles Morales, Beerus,  and Danny Phantom, so who knows?

Though the end colors for the start of Season 7 makes me think of… Harley Quinn.

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

A DEATH BATTLE.

[donaldresslerfanfic]

Botched Plans

Rating: M

Warnings: Strong Language, Sexual Content.

Word Count: 3033

Donald Ressler X OC Maggie Waters.

Chapter: Fifty-Five

Chapter Index

Story on Wattpad

Ressler

Undercover missions bored me, specially if I had to be the one left out of it, it could be a very long process just to get the information we needed, not to mention the logistical effort we had to go through to make contact and avoid blowing the cover, putting the person who was undercover, in this case Liz, in danger of being hurt.

We tried to monitor her every move, but for the most part, we had to wait for her to request a debriefing meeting with her handler, in this case me.

I'd been at home for almost the entire day, and by the looks of it I wasn't going to be called today, Mags of course had to go to work, the aftermath of our wedding had been settled finally and things were going back to normal. I don't understand how people can get divorced and then do the whole wedding thing all over again. It was fun, sure, but it had been so physically and mentally exhausting I was glad everything was over.

I'd poured myself a cup of coffee and was settling in the living room with the remote in hand when the front door opened, and I could her the characteristics noises of Mags arriving to the house. I turned the TV on which made her question out loud if I was here.

"I'm in the living room" I sat in the sofa and took a sip of my coffee while I head her make her way to the living room, she stood next to me with a frown, her purse still hung heavily from her shoulder.

"You didn't go to work today?" She asked while lifting her feet to her hand and taking her heels off

"Not today" she sighed annoyed and took off her other shoe

"We need to talk" she said leaving her things over the coffee table.

"Oh oh" I said taking another sip

"Yes, oh oh is right" she walked to the kitchen quickly to get herself a cup of coffee and in a minute she was sitting next to me, legs laying on top of mine "I'm going to show you something that I'm not really supposed to, but I'm confident you'll shut up about it" she said taking a thick binder from her purse

"Top secret confidential stuff?" I teased, she gave me a little look and then smiled

"We also have confidential stuff okay? It's not exclusive to you people" she opened the binder and let me look through it "remember two weeks ago I was kinda freaking out, reading a lot and talking on the phone too much? It was because of this. This is a new project for some rich Chinese investors" she passed through a few pages until there was a sketch art of a sign.

"A casino?"

"Yeah, so these people came and kind of made a contest between the different architectural agencies to present projects for their casino. Now, I don't want to say we won because of me, but we kinda won because of me."

She told the binder back and threw it on top of her purse.

"We did the structural design and also the vault and the other metric security system for the same investment price and they loved it, we basically did a 2 for 1 deal. So we have this huge project on our hands, I wouldn't be surprised if it's like in the news or something, a luxury hotel and casino being built here is kind of a big deal."

"But...." I said implying there was a problem, because so far this sounded great for her.

"I..." She sighed and left her cup on the table "I feel like my plans have been botched, like, this is going to take me a year, between building and then overseeing the other sides of the project not only the ones that regard my side of the project. And maybe all the other side work..." She covered her eyes and sighed again "I'm pissed because..." She stopped and let her hand heavily fall on her thigh. "I wanted to get pregnant" she said looking at me, searching for some kind of reaction on my eyes. I didn't give her any, because I knew what she wanted the whole time, I was surprised she wasn't off her pills.

"And...?" I beckoned.

She gave me a complaining whine and pulled her legs to her chest

"You're not helping" she complained..

"Fine, how do you want me to help?" I said turning my body to fully engaged her.

"I want you to be my voice of reason, like "no baby, we can't have a baby yet we've been married for barely a month". Something like that, because if you don't want it then I can wait until you're ready"

"Well, I'm not going to say that" I said with a little chuckle that I was sure was going to make her mad "and I'm also on my late 30's, I think I'm ready, I've known you would want to get pregnant as soon as you could. It's all the matter of your own priorities baby"

"This is my priority" she said motioning between us "you, us, our family"

"Then there's nothing to discuss here" I simply stated, however she wasn't done complaining.

"My God" she said rubbing her eyes and hiding her face between her legs "he's gonna fire my ass"

"If you're going to get pregnant might as well just stop working altogether, to fully dedicate yourself to what you want. I've got you" I said rubbing her arm. She looked up at me and pouted dramatically.

"Why are you so nice?" She complained again, leaning to me and unfolding her legs, I accepted her embrace and pulled her to me, cradling her chest to mine whilst her legs staid at my side. I smiled when I felt her breath on my neck, and even more when she turned to kiss my lips.

With the hand that was previously on her waist, I pulled her closed by the neck and finally felt her smile a little over my lips.

"If you want I can make you a baby right now" I joked

"Stop, this is serious" she complained again.

"I am being serious Maggie. Why-" I stopped to sigh a little annoyed "why do we make such a big deal about the 'right time' to do things. Like you can't get married until you've dated at least two years, you can't have a baby until blah blah blah. Stop thinking about anything or anyone. Stop taking the pills, stop taking them"

Mags pouted and hugged herself to my chest, I did so too, kissing her forehead.

"Thank you" she said against my neck.

"Don't thank me for anything. Everything is just a matter of priorities baby, if your boss can't understand that this is your priority then..." I shrugged "his loss"

Maggie.

I set my toothbrush down and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

It was all or nothing today, I was going to tell my boss that I had other priorities, and in case there were some changes about how we were going to handle this huge project, I wasn't going to be working on it.

It was a scary thing to know that this time I might not get away with it, that I was going to be dropping on him some heavy news, because I knew he thought I was going to be dealing with a lot of it and he would just smile to the cameras of the press that showed up to cover the press conference that was set up to announce the investment and the project to the public.

Then, there was the other thing. Last night Don had told me to 'stop taking the pills'. That was such a scary though, it mad it all real, this was happening. Next time we had sex something could come out of it.

I'd been standing in front of the bathroom mirror for a while, thinking about everything. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail, then opened the cabinet to look for my birth control pills. I'd had all of the required medical examinations to check if I was in conditions to get pregnant and I was, taking the pills would effectively increase my chances. I waved the plastic in my hands while the pills rattled inside of the container.

I debated myself for only a second to maybe hold the baby thing for a while, but I quickly threw the pills inside the bathroom bin and stopped myself from trying to back out of this one.

I walked downstairs, expecting to be alone, but Don was standing in the kitchen, watching the waffle machine.

"I thought you were gone" I motioned at him, he was dressed casual today which made my suspicious "you're not going to work?"

"Mm" he shrugged "I haven't been called, and Keen's out of the country so, we'll resume when she makes contact. Made you breakfast" he pointed at the waffle machine while taking the lid and opening it.

"Thanks" I said walking around the counted and sitting in the high stool "I'm-" I caught his attention "you know..." He was scrapping some peanut butter off the jar and gave me a fast look "I stopped taking the pills today"

"Good" he shot me a smile "is that instant or?"

"Yeah, it's instant. So just so you know" he set the plate in front of me turned to the fridge to take out some syrup. "Something might happen"

"Hopefully" he replied. He then took his cup from the counter mad gave it a sip, I hadn't realized there was a cup of tea also waiting in front of me.

"Do you want to be a dad?" I asked him, I saw him smirk over the cup, then he set it down.

"Why would I not want to?" I looked down at the plate and took the fork and knife.

"Because, you know, I feel like most men don't really want to have kids they just have them and they're like 'well, let's deal with this'"

He pulled the other stool and sat next to me.

"That's not how I feel" he shook his head "I feel like I want to slowly start moving along with other things in life, I'm just sick of everything being about my job. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and I'm proud of my job it's just..." He gave me a look and a smile "I see you, you know, with your nephews and stuff and it warms my heart, and that's only for a while. Children certainly complicate things a bit but.... I don't know, I like the idea of it, of this little thing that's a bit of you and a bit of me who's also waiting for you when you get home, who sees you as their personal hero... I want to quit" he gave me another look while he ran his finger over the rim of the mug "and I think that this would be the final push to make me realize that there's somewhere or something else I'd rather be doing than what I'm currently doing in the task force"

He finished, then leaned back to leave the mug on the sink, he then turned around and held my jaw with his hand, leaning in to kiss my lips, then my temple.

"Finish up here and I'll drive you to work"

"Okay" I said quietly, he smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

In the car ride to my work office, I was a little fidgety, playing with the straps of my purse. I felt Don's hand slip into mine to take it, he parked along the front door and I turned to him.

"Well, let's see how this goes" I took of my seatbelt and felt a kiss on the back of my hand.

"Call me, either to pick you back up or to have lunch later, I'm free all day" I nodded, then leaned in to give him a long kiss.

"I love you" I said over his lips, he kissed me again and patted my thigh encouragingly.

"I love you too baby. Good luck"

I crossed my fingers in front of my face as I opened the door and exited the car.

Inside, the ambiance was definitely a little hectic, I could see the accountants running around, people walk from office to office with handfuls of blueprints.

I stopped at Oscar's office and knocked, I received the come in and opened the door.

"Maggie, just the person I wanted to see, close the door" he motioned at the door and opened a blueprint over an adjacent desk he had on the side of office.

"Yeah, I need to talk to you, it's important"

"Okay, but make it quick, we need to start evaluating this and head to the site to oversee the terrain we'll be building on."

"Okay, quick. I'm not going to be working on this project"

I saw his shoulders square up and he turned at me with a little confused and angry frown.

"What do you mean? This is a lifetime opportunity Mags, your next promotion for sure, Vice-Presidency is what we're talking about here"

Oh wow, I didn't know he was planning to make me vice-president after this project.

"I understand, but Don and I had other personal plans and we both agreed that this would set us back a lot, so... If your have to fire me I un-"

"No no no, nobody is getting fired. What are we talking about here? Kids?"

"Yeah, we're already looking"

"Well" he ran his eyes over his desk, then placed his hand on his hip thoughtfully "we can do this. We will start working on this normally, when you can't go to the site anymore because you know" he motioned at me "you're showing, you will resume your work here, and try to lead everything from here, hopefully we can get your side of the project done on 5 or 6 months" he looked at me to confirm the timeline.

"3 months if we throw everything we've got at it"

"That would be amazing. And then when you near the final months, work from home, cellphone availability during work hours, and weekly meetings here with me and the rest of the team. Does that sound good?"

"I..." I stutter "that sounds amazing. And I'm sorry if I'm completely rude or you feel like I'm prying on an special deal but-"

"Maggie, I appreciate you were bold about this from the beginning rather than show up halfway through this project telling me you're quitting because you're pregnant. Everything is fixable. Now" he extended his hand which I gladly took in a firm handshake "that deal aside, let's continue with this one" he motioned at the papers again.

I had a stupid smile all day I couldn't believe things had gone as good as they had. Either Oscar was going to regret this deal he made me later on, or I was that important to him.

I spent the rest of the day at the terrain we were going to be building on, we couldn't have asked for a better location, the access to it was mainly deserted, which was a huge advantage because we could really turn up this side of town, have an avenue come right this way and we could set up the entrance to the casino and the eventual guests if the hotel however we wanted it. The excavation process was going to take up to a month, between that and levelling the terrain, we had to dig down approximately half a mile, it had to be massive to accommodate both sides of the business.

I hadn't realized it was nearing down on lunch break until I got paged on the walkie, telling me Don was waiting for me at the security gate.

I had to walk a few feet until I saw the guard and motioned at him to let Don go through with the car, and while he parked on the far side away from all the trucks, I walked the long distance towards the car.

"You're still here" he said as soon as I got into the car. I gave him a smile and nodded, pulling the seat a little behind so I could stretch my legs more comfortably.

"I am. I can't believe what happened today" he handed me a plastic container with a plastic fork.

"And what was that?" He also took his own food to eat it.

"Mm" I hummed while I swallowed to continue the conversation "he basically said I could do it, and when I get too big we would have to adjust working hours and the likes, I could work from home if I needed to. He was planning on giving me the Vice-Presidency after this, now I'm not to sure"

"I'm sure he will" he assured "man, it's been a while since I've eaten fast food behind the wheel"

"You did that a lot?"

"Yeah" he said with a tired sigh "not since the task force, but before, in the other special force it was a daily occurrence. At least now I have some good company" he said moving his hand to touch my thigh up and down. I smiled back and him, then looked down at the almost empty container.

We continued talking after that for the remaining 20 minutes of my lunch break about everything and nothing. He said he didn't know if tomorrow he would have to go to the blacksite, but he wanted us to go out on a nice dinner after I finished my work.

I felt nervous just thinking about it, I felt like a virgin all over again thinking too much about the next time I had sex.

We said our goodbyes, then he was off again.

Hopefully the nerves at the pit of my stomach I was feeling now would go away tomorrow.

[jahaanofmenaphos]

Art by the awesome @tommieglenn!

Of Gods and Men Summary:

When the gods returned to Gielinor, their minds were only on one thing: the Stone of Jas, a powerful elder artefact in the hands of Sliske, a devious Mahjarrat who stole it for his own ends and entertainment. He claims to want to incite another god wars, but are his ulterior motives more sinister than that? And can the World Guardian, Jahaan, escape from under Sliske’s shadow?

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QUEST 09: OUR SPIRITS, KINDRED

QUEST SUMMARY:

When Ariane is kidnapped and the signs point to Sliske, Jahaan is forced to confront the Mahjarrat once again. But this time, things take a turn for the twisted, and Jahaan uncovers the truth behind Sliske’s obsession with him. Can Jahaan survive Sliske’s games? After all, broken bones heal faster than a broken mind…

CHAPTER 3: METHOD OF MADNESS

Leaving the wight-turned-dragonkin staring blankly into the distance behind him, Jahaan walked through into the next chamber. There, it wasn’t just Ozan and Ariane who he saw. No, alongside the huddled up couple were Major Mary Rancour, Sir Tendeth, and Idria - one of the Guardians of Armadyl.

“Sliske got you all too, huh?” Jahaan drawled, exchanging a small nod of greeting to the Major, who looked just as worldweary as Jahaan sounded. “Is everyone alright?”

Nodding, Idria assured, “Yes, the Brothers have been guarding us, but we’re okay. Do you know what this is about?”

“I can shed some light on that,” Sliske faded into view, looming over the gathered group.

Mary Rancour snapped around, heatedly demanding, “Sliske! Release us all at once!”

“No! I will release you gradually!”

The Major blinked. “...what?”

“While you’re trying to figure that one out, this is how this is going to go,” Sliske started wringing his hands, his voice developing a wicked overtone. “As you may have realised, we are no longer in Daemonheim. I welcome you all to my new humble abode, after the Zamorakians made a mess of my last one. Jahaan here is our guest of honour, and you’re all going to help him through these little trials of mine. You’ll find out the details as we go, but I’ve put a lot of thought into them, so I do hope you have fun!”

Utterly baffled, Jahaan shook his head and replied, “Why do you think I'll do this, Sliske? This is madness! Worse, this is nonsense! What is the point of all this? Just to get me to jump through hoops?”

“In reverse order: not exactly, it's a secret, no it isn't, it kind of is… and because I'll kill more of the hostages if you don't.”

Jahaan faltered. “M-More of...?”

Sliske raised an arm; the cowering Sir Tendeth screamed as he was lifted into the air, surrounded by a purple aura. After a couple of seconds of being held up, he dropped dead.

“By the gods!” Mary Racour gasped, stumbling backwards. Even Idria, normally courageous to the point of being foolhardy, had to reconsider intervention. She was powerless without her rune stones, after all.

Jahaan watched the corpse fall to the ground with a dull thump, and a thick lump rose in his throat. "Sliske..." 

Unphased by the horror he’d just inflicted, Sliske continued, “You see, there is a reason for all this, Jahaan. Two, in fact. The one you'll get now is that I'll present the Staff of Armadyl to you when you are done.”

Idria’s head shot up, fully alert. “You’ll what?!”

“I’ll give him the Staff of Armadyl,” Sliske reiterated, smiling innocently at Jahaan. “You see, soon the Staff of Armadyl would have outlived its usefulness for me. So, here’s the deal: play along with my games, and it’s yours, to go all stabby-stabby on the gods if you so wish. You might liven up this dull period of my contest, after all. Plus, your little friends can go free, as an added bonus. What do you say?”

Jahaan’s eyes examined all the hostages carefully, apprehensively awaiting his response. He didn’t trust Sliske to be true to his word on this, naturally. He didn’t trust him as far as he could throw him. However, he also realised that there was no choice but to play along for now in the hopes that an escape opportunity would arise later down the line.

Sighing, Jahaan answered, “I have no choice. I'll play your stupid game.”

“My game isn't stupid, Jahaan. You'll see that very quickly. Now, there’s the door, so let's get moving!”

Sliske teleported away. After he did, Ozan rushed up to Jahaan and, in a hushed tone, asked, “Are you sure about this, Jahaan?”

“Not even slightly,” Jahaan gravely responded. “But we don't have much of a choice right now.”

To the group, he ushered them to come closer before he quietly said, “Everyone, keep your eyes out for a way to escape as we progress. The sooner we can get out of here, the better.”

When the group entered the large expanse Sliske had directed them to, they saw what looked like an arena. A fighting pit, more like. Desolate and unmaintained from centuries of abandonment.

Where the fuck are we? Jahaan wondered to himself, gazing at the ancient architecture. However, his curiosity was cut short like a bullet to the chest when he saw the other residents Sliske had summoned down in the pit.

They were six figures he recognised all too well, faces that were etched into his mind like carvings on a tree, determined to stand the test of time, to outlive him and all his other memories.

The ragged and torn clothing, along with the tangled mess of brunette hair that covered his blue eyes. He was exactly how Jahaan had found him that day in the cave. Cyrius.

Short and with an expression of perpetual annoyance, the grey haired gnome stood with his chest out and proud, defiant to the end. Hazelmere.

Covered in grey robes, he looked empty without the cocoon of steel armour protecting him, but his stoic expression was stronger than any shield. Turael.

Sporting a pompously flamboyant green hat that only someone like him could pull off, coupled with a perfectly trimmed moustache. Harrallak.

Dark red skin protruded from the slashes in his shirt, exposing the scaly flesh below. He looked completely unphased by the unfamiliar surroundings, ready to take on the world all over again. Mazchna.

Her beige robes covered her from head to toe, strands of ginger hair poking out from the sides of the hood, a fringe covering one of her steely green eyes. Lassyai.

Yes, Jahaan recognised them instantly, but they were all paler than normal, and they looked slightly… hollow.

“Lassyai!” Idria cried out, beginning to rush towards her fellow Guardian of Armadyl, until the blade of Dharok’s greataxe barred her journey.

Like he’d seen a ghost, Jahaan stumbled backwards, knocking into Ozan, who sported a similar expression of confused horror. “H-How are you all here?!”

“I can answer that,” Sliske’s self-satisfied voice echoed around them. “You see, I ‘borrowed’ these souls for today’s proceedings. Iccy’s going to be FURIOUS - I wish I could see the look on his face!”

“Jahaan!” Cyrius called out, a heart-melting smile on his battered-looking face. “Ozan! I’m so glad you’re both still alive.”

Jahaan felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. “Cyrius… all of you… I thought I’d never see you again...”

“Death is a great uniter,” Harrallack commented, dryly. “Then again, it seems ‘undeath’ is as well…”

Always straight to the point, Mazchna asked, “Do you know why we are here? Or how?”

“Yes, I was rather enjoying the afterlife,” Hazelmere cut in, irritably. “Then in a blink, I’m here. And it’s cold.”

“Oh don’t worry, you’ll be back in the afterlife before you know it,” Sliske assured, a darkness in the edges of his voice. “How you get there, however, will be up to Jahaan. Which brings me to why I brought you all here. You see, Jahaan, you always blamed yourself for the death of these fine warriors. It was never your fault, you know. Well, until now, that is.”

Jahaan gulped. “What do you mean?”

“It’s simple, really,” Sliske continued, a wicked grin slashed onto his face. “These lovely men and women want to return to the afterlife. You’re going to help them get there. To do that, all you have to do is put them back to rest…”

Fear crept into Jahaan’s tone. “What do you mean by ‘put them back to rest’?”

Sighing, Sliske rolled his eyes. “Honestly, do I have to spell everything out to you? You’re going to have to kill them, Janny. One by one.”

Jahaan’s face was a picture of disgust. “I’m not doing that!”

“Oh I think you will, for if you don’t kill them, the Brothers will. Trust me, they’ll make it much more painful than you ever would. Whether they get a quick and merciful re-death is entirely up to you."

The shock subsided once Sliske’s words sunk in, replaced instead by something much more tangible, much more familiar: anger.

Rounding to where Sliske was perched, Jahaan gripped his fists into tight balls, teeth clenched so tightly they felt like they could shatter at any moment. “SLISKE!” he roared, saliva spitting uncontrollably, like venom from a rabid animal. “RELEASE THEM BACK TO THE AFTERLIFE NOW!”

Sliske’s response was deadly, bone-chillingly calm. “I already told you how to return them to the afterlife. There’s no need to yell.”

Before Sliske could even get the last syllable out, Jahaan had already began storming towards the stand inhabited by the Mahjarrat, fully intending to scale the brick work with his bare hands if he had to. However, the sudden shriek from behind him stopped him dead. Spinning around, Jahaan saw Guthan had the razor-edge of his spear tight against Ariane’s jugular, who flinched away in terror. In a flash, the six warriors had charged forwards, but a conjuring of shadow binds kept them in their places.

“Leave her alone!” Ozan cried, charging towards Guthan, but Torag knocked him to the ground, shattering his left ankle with one of his hammers.

The sickening crunch of the bone and Ozan’s subsequent scream made Jahaan quiver. Holding his hands up slightly, Jahaan tried to ease his shaking as he turned back to Sliske and stuttered, “O-Okay… okay I-I’m calm. P-Please don’t hurt him again.”

Smugly, Sliske replied, “I thought you would have figured this out by now: whoever gets hurt is entirely up to you. Understand?”

Nodding feverously, Jahaan agreed. “Yes, yes I understand. Please, don’t hurt them anymore. Please.”

Satisfied, Sliske nodded his head towards Guthan. The Brother released Ariane, and she immediately rushed to Ozan’s side.

Fighting his restraints, Tureal roared, “Sorcerer! Release us or pay the price!”

With a grin slashed into his face like it was carved by a crude blade, Sliske retorted, “I don’t think you’re in any position to make threats, Tureal. After all, you couldn’t even stop poor little Lucien, and I’m rather certain I’ve far surpassed his power by now.”

Huffing, Hazelmere loudly grumbled, “Can someone PLEASE tell me what is going on here?”

Lassyai blew a stray clump of ginger hair out from her eyes. “Isn’t it obvious? He,” she jerked her head towards Sliske’s perch. “Is one of those Mahjarrat bastards, like Lucien. Sadistic, all of them. And he’s stolen the Staff of Armadyl!”

“But why?!” Hazelmere persisted, “What is going on?!”

“ENOUGH!” Sliske fiercely cut in, hushing the room to silence. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he rounded on the six warriors. “By the gods, I’m surprised you didn’t bicker Lucien to death. And here you were supposed to be Gielinor’s best and brightest. But the World Guardian knows what’s going on, don’t you, Janny?”

Through it all, however, Cyrius’ eyes had never left Jahaan. The World Guardian had been staring numbly into space until a broken murmur from Cyrius broke him out of his stupor. “Jahaan…?”

Gulping, Jahaan’s voice was fractured as he quietly explained. “This is Sliske. He wants to hurt me by getting me to hurt you. I don’t know why.”

Betrayed… the notion danced around in Jahaan’s mind, conjuring nausea in his stomach and bile in his throat. He wasn’t angry now - he was too tired for that. Instead, he was more… heartbroken.

Seeing his old friends. Seeing Ozan hurt and scared. Knowing what he had to do. Not knowing what else was to come. Not being in control of a damn thing.

And, above all, not knowing why.

“Just do it Jahaan,” Mary Rancour urged, anger biting into her frustration. “They’re already dead - it’s not like you’re actually killing them or anything. The sooner this is over, the sooner we can leave.”

“Yes, do it, World Guardian,” Sliske malevolently echoed, waving away the restraints of the warriors as he did so. He motioned to Verac and Karil; the former handed Jahaan a blade, thin like a kitchen knife, while the latter aimed his crossbow at Idria. “Or do you need further encouragement?”

Weighing up the blade in his hand, he turned towards the warriors, all regarding him with a cocktail of confusion and apprehension.

Unsurprisingly, Hazelmere was the first to speak. “Well, get on with it then! What do I care if you kill me again? I just want to go back to the peace and quiet.”

Sniffing a laugh, Turael turned a challenging glance to Sliske as he added, “Yeah, means nothing to me. Have at it, Jahaan.”

The others cut in with similar resistant barbs, focused on either trying to rattle Sliske, calm Jahaan’s nerves, or perhaps both.

Jahaan knew they didn’t fully comprehend what was going on, or why, or even how. But he recognised the main thing, and that was they were doing in death what they always did in life - they were supporting their comrade.

Despite everything, he forced a weak, defiant smile. “Your plan backfired, Sliske. You’ve given me the chance to do something I’ve wanted to do for years. You’ve allowed me to say goodbye.”

But as the blade bit down on Hazelmere’s thin skin and he looked deep into those blue eyes, the fear and nerves and sickness all came flooding back. Defiance had crumbled, but that was internally. Externally, he tried his damn best to keep his resolve steady. Then again, the hesitation no doubt gave it away.

He didn’t want to give Sliske the satisfaction of watching him break.

“Hurry up,” Hazelmere grumbled; Jahaan knew it was for his sake, not out of genuine annoyance. This was the only way Hazelmere knew how to be supportive. “My feet are aching, and I had tea brewing.”

Sniffing a faint chuckle, Jahaan whispered, “Goodbye, Hazelmere.”

In one swift motion, the first deed was done. There wasn’t much in the way of blood, but the way his body crumpled to the ground, a dull and lifeless thud, brought back the painful vision of the first time he saw Hazelmere fall.

Mustn’t give Sliske the satisfaction, Jahaan reminded himself, swallowing hard and blinking back the salty tears threatening the edges of his eyes as he moved onto Turael, then Harrallak, then Mazchna, then Lassyai.

The last was Cyrius.

He looks just as beautiful as he always did, Jahaan found himself ruminating, gazing into his warm blue eyes through blurred vision. Blinking himself back into clarity, a few stray tears escaped down his cheek, and he didn’t have the will to brush them away. Cyrius didn’t give him a look of pity, though. His serene smile encapsulated his contentment as he said, “Do you remember that trip we took to Baxtorian Falls? We camped out there for days, watching the leaping salmon and trout dancing through the air.”

This thought broke Jahaan; he choked back a sob, trying to mask it inside a laugh. “How could I forget? You burnt everything we caught.”

Cyrius chuckled now, a full-bodied chuckle filled with warmth and comfort. “Do you remember how we got back down the waterfall?”

Jahaan felt like his heart momentarily stopped. “I-I do…” he stammered out, swallowing down the large lump in his throat.

Cyrius looked on the brink of tears now. “I was so scared of jumping in that whirlpool. You told me people did it all the time and lived to tell the tale, but still. Remember how you took my hand, and you led me to the bridge,” Cyrius reached out and lightly took Jahaan’s hand in his, the one with the knife. “If you hadn’t held onto me I swear I would have chickened out. Tell me, honestly, were you sure we were going to make it?”

Biting the inside of his cheek, Jahaan confessed, “Honestly? I guess not.”

“Me neither,” Cyrius replied. Jahaan could see his own reflection through the water in Cyrius’ eyes. “But you know what? I didn’t care. If we hadn’t made it out, I wouldn’t have cared, because right there and then, everything was perfect.”

Cyrius wrapped Jahaan’s fingers around his own. “Because you are perfect.”

Suddenly, Cyrius leant forward and planted a deep kiss on Jahaan’s lips. But before Jahaan could even register what was happening, Cyrius pulled away, and he had taken the dagger with him.

Jahaan barely opened his mouth before Cyrius slit his own throat with the blade.

When Jahaan climbed the ramp out of the pit, Sliske was there to greet him, clapping slowly. “Good show, Janny. Good show indeed!”

Jahaan didn’t stop, he just stormed right past Sliske and towards the entrance to the next chamber.

The doors creaked open slowly, allowing Jahaan to enter. When they closed behind him again, he leant back against the door and tried to steady his breathing. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking, so he clenched them into balled fists, squeezing so hard his fingers started to turn purple. Chattering teeth thrummed in time with his rapid heartbeat, while waves of nausea threatened to overwhelm him.

Calm down, Jahaan hissed internally, There’s no time for this now. You have to focus. Pull yourself together

Trying to swallow his feelings like bile in his throat, Jahaan prepared to embrace Sliske’s latest torture chamber. In front of him he saw two incredibly large god statues - one of Saradomin and one of Zamorak - with an eerily familiar looking gentleman attached to them. Blue and red chains held him taut in a crucifix position. Upon closer inspection, it appeared as if they were actually pulling him in both directions, agonisingly stretching his limbs. Above him towered a tall statue of a very sadistic looking Mahjarrat.

Hurrying over, Jahaan could only look on in abject horror as the man’s body shook against the tension, quivering in pain. But when he got close enough to see his face, Jahaan felt like throwing up. “You!”

Blonde hair, parted at the side, but messy, like a comb-over had gone wrong. Dark eyes, empty and lifeless. The man was an animated corpse.

And a long, thin scar across his throat.

“Sir Tenly,” Jahaan could actually feel the bile forming in his throat as he uttered the name. The former White Knight’s eyes fell on Jahaan, a flash of panic, desperation and anger all in one nanosecond.

“You! You’re the- ARGG!” the pain of the chains cut him off, but he was determined to finish, teeth gritted as he spat, “you’re the bastard that murdered me!”

Jahaan flinched backwards, eyes wide and bloodshot. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by another scream of pain from Sir Tenly.

Desperately, with a face creased and a brow strained, Sir Tenly hissed, “You have to help me - these things are tearing me apart!”

“Yes, they are, aren’t they, Sir Tenly?” Sliske taunted, his disembodied voice echoing around them. “Jahaan, this one is very simple: Sir Tenly is being torn between two gods, Saradomin and Zamorak. You have to figure out which one doesn't have a claim on his soul and make them let go.”

Sir Tenly’s arms struggled against the chains. “Saradomin is my lord and light! Aaaargh!”

“Then that's simple, isn't it? All you need is a key to Zamorak's chains. There is a machine for making them over in the other room where your friends are. They just need to put a hand into that little box to power the machine.”

Already feeling like he knew the answer, Jahaan warily inquired, “And what happens when they do?”

The Mahjarrat replied, “Ah. Well, if I told you, that’d ruin the surprise now, wouldn’t it?”

Jahaan could practically feel Sliske’s smirk.

“Hurry! Do it! Free me!” Sir Tenly beseeched, “My vitals feel like they are being sliced apart!”

“Well, that might be because I hid the Saradomin key in there…”

Jahaan choked on the lump in his throat. “What?!”

“If you think maybe Saradomin has less of a claim on Sir Tenly than he declares, all you have to do is dig it out. I’ll let the two of you have a nice reunion. Have fun!”

Hesitantly, Jahaan edged closer to Sir Tenly, his eyes stinging with tears in them. The man whose life he cut short, all over a stupid insult.

Jahaan gulped. Now he’s here, suffering again, thanks to me...

He didn’t know what to do; his mouth hung open like a dumbstruck animal, his feet nailed to the floor. It wasn’t until another cry of pain from Sir Tenly snapped him out of his trance.

“Why is this happening to me?!” Sir Tenly wailed, face contorted with agony. “I was a good Saradominist! Who is this- ARG! This MONSTER?!”

Gulping, Jahaan tried to straighten his thoughts out enough to tentatively reply. “It’s not you. He’s… he’s doing this to get to me. It’s one of his sick games.”

"You're putting an unfair amount of the blame on me, don’t you think, Janny?” Sliske cackled, menacingly. “After all, you were the one who sent this man to an early grave. How can you call me ‘sick’ or ‘twisted’ or evil’ when you’re nothing but a cold-blooded murderer yourself, hm?”

Sliske’s words cut through Jahaan like a knife through raw chicken, chilling his very core. It was Sir Tenly who pulled him out of his own mind.

“Who even is this monster?!” Sir Tenly exclaimed, but after another sharp hiss of pain, he corrected, “Nevermind, I don’t care - just get the Zamorak key and get me out of here!”

The Zamorak keys can only be forged from pain, while the ‘light’ of Saradomin tears Sir Tenly up inside, Jahaan darkly realised, watching the corpse in front of him writhe in pain. His head was still reeling from Sliske’s previous truth. What poetic irony, Sliske.

“What are you still standing there for?!” Sir Tenly strained against his chains. “Get the key, NOW!”

Exhaling a shuddering breath, Jahaan declared, “O-Okay, I’ll get the Zamorak key.”

“Hurry! I don’t know how much more I can take!”

Resolving himself, Jahaan rushed over to the doorway separating himself from his comrades, who had been ushered into a small box-like room that extended into his chamber. He knew exactly what he was about to ask of his friends, but there was little choice in the matter. Pressing up against the door, he shouted through, “I need a Zamorak key.”

“A what key?” a puzzled Ozan called back.

“Long story short, Sir Tenly is strung between two statues,” Jahaan hurried to explain. "I need to unlock the statue of the god who does not have a claim on his soul. So, I need a Zamorak key.”

“Who’s Sir Tenly?” Major Mary Rancour inquired.

“Not important,” Ozan cut in, sparing Jahaan from having to explain himself, for which Jahaan was incredibly grateful. Small mercies, after all.

Back on track, Ariane asked, “How do we give you that key?”

Jahaan hesitated, the guilt setting in. “Is… is there a machine in there with you?”

Idria confirmed that there was.

“One of you needs to put your hand inside it. It’s… it’s going to hurt, but Sliske said that’s the only way to get the key.”

Hands on her hips, Idria protested, “Why do we need to get hurt over this Sir Tenly’s sake?”

“Because Sliske will hurt us all if you don’t.”

Idria countered, “But how do we know he won’t just hurt us anyway?”

Echoing around them, Sliske cheerily conceded, “She has a good point. I am a terrible person.”

Idria waved her hands to the sky, satisfied at being proven right yet again.

“The thing is, my dear, if you don’t play along, well…” Sliske warned, “Remember dear old Sir Tendeth? Lived up to his name, didn’t he…”

Biting his lip, Jahaan said, “I’m sorry guys. I need that key.”

Exhaling deeply, Ozan was the first to declare, “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Ariane gave his hand a light, reassuring tug before he limped over to the machine. There was a little box that opened as he approached. A metal grill was on the bottom inside it.

Wincing, Ozan cautiously edged his hand inside, and the box clamped down to secure him there. 

The scream was earth-shattering as blue fire rose from the grill and engulfed Ozan’s hand.

When he was released, he fell to the ground clutching his scorched palm.

The sound made Jahaan feel sick, but he steeled himself through the waves of nausea. “Ozan, I’m so sorry…” he mumbled, but he doubted anyone could hear.

The next thing he knew, a key was placed through the letterbox-sized flap to his right.

The sounds of Sir Tenly’s wailing snapped Jahaan back into focus; scrabbling to grab the key, he hurried over to the Zamorak statue and tried to unlock it.

Tragically, the key broke in the lock.

“What’s happening?!” Sir Tenly demanded.

Jahaan heavy-heartedly called back, “The key broke!”

“Useless sandboy!” Sir Tenly hissed. “Do it right this time!”

The hairs on the back of Jahaan’s neck stood up and he froze, utterly, clenching the broken end of the key tightly into his fist. He couldn’t quite tell if it was in his imagination or not, but he swore he heard Sliske laughing.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, he ignored Sir Tenly and went back over to the large door, shouting through, “Guys, the key broke in the lock. I’m so sorry, but I need another.”

Sighing, Mary Rancour volunteered, “Fine, I’ll do it.”

Despite telling herself she didn’t want to give Sliske the satisfaction of hearing her scream, her shriek was incredibly high pitched.

Taking the key, Jahaan went to unlock the Zamorak statue again. Alas…

“It broke again!” Jahaan exclaimed, his shoulders sagging.

“Are you kidding me?!” Sir Tenly replied. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

“I’m not!” Jahaan snapped back, indignantly. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but out of anyone, he was glad it was someone like Sir Tenly up there and not one of his friends.

He walked significantly slower this time over to the door. “Hey guys, I need another key…”

Idria did not look impressed. “Of course you do.”

Shaking his head, Jahaan said, “I don’t know what to tell you.”

Grumbling, Idria replied, “I guess I’ll do it then.”

A hand, a box, a flame, a scream, a key.

And again, it broke in the lock.

Sliske’s voice floated tauntingly around them. “Hmm it broke again… I wonder why that is, Sir Tenly…”

The realisation Jahaan had been fighting back since the second key broke crawled across Jahaan’s skin. Walking up the steps to Sir Tenly, he somberly announced, “I need the Saradomin key, Sir Tenly. There’s no other way.”

“What are you talking about?” Sir Tenly gruffly protested. “The Saradomin key won't unlock the chains. All you'd be doing is symbolically removing my love for him, just like that monster wants!”

“I’m sorry… I have to…”

“NO!” Sir Tenly bellowed. “I am a White Knight of Saradomin! Get a Zamorak key and release me!”

Gulping, Jahaan stepped closer. “I’m sorry.”

“No! I follow my lord willingly!” Sir Tenly desperately resisted, his fearful eyes quivering.

Having to force his hand closer to Sir Tenly’s soft, undead stomach, Jahaan whispered, “I’m so sorry…”

With a sickening squelch, Jahaan’s fingers stabbed into Sir Tenly’s belly. As the knight writhed in torment, he felt his fingertips knock against something metallic.

“Mercy! Please, stop this torture!” Sir Tenly desperately begged, his head shooting around in all directions as his body convulsed with agony.

Jahaan was shaking, his heart breaking at the pained sobs of a proud knight, no matter how ignorant or rude that knight could be. Reaching in further, he felt his hand brush against dusty organs. The sensation made Jahaan gag.

“Please stop! You’re tearing me in half! ARRRRGGGG!”

Finally, Jahaan managed to hook two fingers onto the teeth of the key, but it didn’t budge easily. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he woefully declared, “Sir Tenly, I have to pull harder. I’m sorry.”

As he began to pull, Sir Tenly unleashed a blood-curdling scream. “ARRRRGGGG! Please stop the pain! My god, why are you letting this happen?!”

Jahaan felt the key catch on Sir Tenly’s ghostly insides as he pulled harder.

“Will the truth make it end?!“ Sir Tenly was in tears at this point, head hung low as he cried out, “ALRIGHT! I'm a Zamorakian! Now please, LET THIS END!” 

Finally, the key came free with a ‘slurp’, covered in whatever juices were left of Sir Tenly’s insides.

Refusing to give into his nausea at this second, Jahaan raced towards the Saradomin statue. Unsurprisingly, the key fit perfectly, unlocking Sir Tenly’s chains. As Sir Tenly swung loosely towards the Zamorak statue, the Saradomin statue toppled over backwards at the loss of contact, knocking a large hole in the wall behind it.

Satisfied that Sir Tenly was free, Jahaan realised nothing was holding him back now, and thus he threw up. A lot.

Once that was out of his system, and most of the goo had been wiped off his hand, Jahaan staggered back over to Sir Tenly, who had become free from all his chains now. “Are you alright?”

Clutching his stomach, Sir Tenly shot him a deadly glare. “You ripped a key from my chest and revealed my true Zamorakian faith, proving I’m a heretic. Why wouldn’t I be alright?”

Jahaan forced a hollow smile. “Sarcasm - that means you’re good to go.”

As quickly as he could, he rushed back over to his friends and hissed through the door, “Guys, are you alright? Can you hear me?”

“Yes, we’re holding up,” Ozan assured, but the shivering laced in his voice betrayed him. “What about you?”

“Sir Tenly’s free,” Jahaan dodged the question. “The fallen statue knocked out a part of the wall. I’m going to see if it leads to a way out. Can you guys keep Sliske busy while I do that?”

“We’ll try,” Idria replied, biting her lip. “Don’t be long though. If you get outside, bring reinforcements back with you. I don’t trust Sliske to keep his word about the Staff, but as long as we can corner him here, we have a chance of getting it back.”

Mary Rancour concurred, “Indeed. We have to use this situation to our advantage. Good luck out there, Jahaan.”

“Same to you, everyone,” Jahaan replied, but he hesitated before leaving. He wanted to say something else, something reassuring and confident to try and keep everyone’s head above water. But knowing he’d no doubt sound as scared as he felt, he held back.

With that, Jahaan hurried over to the hole in the wall, slipping behind cover wherever he could, and entered the caved in tunnel. From the lack of protest on Sliske’s part, he seemed to get away with it.

DISCLAIMER:

As Of Gods and Men is a reimagining, retelling and reworking of the Sixth Age, a LOT of dialogue/characters/plotlines/etc. are pulled right from the game itself, and this belongs to Jagex.

Previous chapter / Next chapter

[camdenfringe]

CHANGES TO THE PRINTED PROGRAMME

Since we printed the glossy A5 brochure for the Camden Fringe there have been a number of additions to the line-up and a couple of cancellations. Here is a list of forthcoming changes. Always check our website for the most up to date line-up information

**ALTERATIONS**

The times for this show are different to those printed in the brochure You Have Absolutely No Sense Of Time The Black Box Theatre 2, 9-11 August at 4.30pm, 3-4 August at 6pm, Hen and Chickens https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2453

Isabelle Farah: Ellipsis Now on 7.45pm on 21 August at the Albany (moved from 4 August) https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2505

Dannie Grufferty: How Brexit sent us all slightly mad 9pm 5-7 August + 9pm 18 August at The Albany (4 August cancelled) https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2421

**EXTRA SHOWS**

Remember Tonight Vortex Collision Arts Company 9.30pm 2-3 August at London Irish Centre A young man brings home a stranger who was beaten up on the street. His desperate attempt to help the person in need leads him to discover wounds he wasn’t meant to deal with. Soon, they will be unexpectedly engulfed in a loop where there will be nothing that could not happen.

Joseph Parsons: Baggy Point 5.30pm 4 August The Bill Murray Joseph Parsons (as seen on Channel 4) presents his uplifting, sell-out stand up comedy show, Baggy Point. With his lovable and electric energy on stage, Joseph tells the story of discovering his sexuality as he clumsily navigates his way through social gatherings, love and living in a different country. Joseph also looks at how the perceptions of sexuality in smaller towns and homophobia in football affect younger people growing up. All proceeds to this show will go to Football v Homophobia. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2708

Sea Changes Marina Jenkyns Productions 12.30pm 5-9 August Etcetera Theatre Sharon; `You know what? He was jealous. Never been outside Shepherd's Bush. Imagine fucking a man who's never flown!'Mair: `Soft on my face. Her skin, her tears. Must go on. Mustn't stop. Must do it'.Maeve: `Sally and I lay down, sun on our faces, just touching, like our hands.Understanding the past in order to create the future. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2719

The Feminazis Curious Dispute 4.30pm 5-7 August Etcetera Theatre The Feminazis' juxtaposes a classical duo comedy format with explicit imagery, presenting the question 'how far is too far'? Frustrated with the lack of progression in modern day society regarding gender equality, Sal and Libby decide to take matters into their own hands by creating a terrorist organisation. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2716

The Party Pilgrim Productions 9pm 5-9 August The Cockpit In September 2018, the president's nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court, was accused by a woman of sexual assault 36 years earlier. This revelation, broadcast worldwide at a Senate committee hearing, has since become a major cause celebre. 'The Party' by Sam J. Stewart is a 2-act play which re-lives and examines this drama. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2688

Jet Set Go! Pump House CYT 7.30pm 9 – 10 August Theatro Technis A delightful, inventive and witty new musical about 24 hours in the ordinary working life of a transatlantic airline cabin crew; sex, romance, optimism and jaded cynicism are thrown together into a bitchy, campy but essentially tender-hearted cocktail. "A production that’s warm, funny and wonderfully scored” **** The Scotsman. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2720

Love Is... Spitball Theatre Company 9.30pm 9-10 August at London Irish Centre Two women and one non-binary person delve into love, in all its many forms. We all remember our first love, don’t we? Have you tried to block out that painful memory? Does that fleeting eye contact still play on your mind? Featuring movement, music and true stories we take you through loves lost and won. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2698

Fraser Gibson: Self-ish 3.45pm 10-August The Bill Murray Fraser Gibson's debut show is a wrestle with the Self-ish pursuit of being a stand-up comedian. Explained through tall tales, uncanny impressions and a good ol' song or two... A hilarious session of self-therapy! https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2711

Matt Blair – Mattinée 3pm 11 August The Bill Murray An hour of musical comedy, jokes and references from the mind of a movie fanatic. Join Matt on his journey to find out why we love movies so much. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2556

Ordinary Days Pump Priming Productions 7.30pm 11 August Theatro Technis A romance on the rocks, an artist's vision stalled, and a graduates thesis in peril lead four young New Yorkers through a series of humorous and touching musical, intersecting vignettes, as they search for fulfilment, happiness, love and cabs.This melodious one act musical, performed by an award winning cast, is a hidden gem. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2721

Si Deaves - Si's Matters 8pm 11 August Camden Comedy Club Nuclear annihilation!! Brexit?! Rabies?? There are so many issues in the world today, yet Si Deaves still finds time to worry about the little things, in his own unique way. Join Si‚Äôs world as he tackles "inspiration", fears of inadequacy, *that* drunk guy at the pub and much more in his official debut stand-up hour, Si’s Matters. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2722

G(L)ORY Ocular Seven Productions 9pm 11-13 August The Hen and Chickens True crime, murder mystery, serial killer docs, you name it Bobby's binged it. Just like everyone else in the office, so what makes him so different? Through Bobby, we explore the public and media fascination and glorification of violence. Why do we keep watching? https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2712

Be More Bee 12.30pm 13-14 August Etcetera Theatre Feeling broken or lost in a scary world? Looking for a Marie Kondo type, but more Home Counties? Well Bea has got just the ticket to cheer you up. It’s the bees! They’ve got the secret to happiness! Let her guide you through the honey-soaked life-hacks of the British Bee. Preposterous new comedy by Jenni Mackenzie-Jones. With a tombola. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2717

Together For Seven BearFoot 2.30pm 13 – 15 August Etcetera Theatre This is the last place you would expect to find yourself; a police station. You cast your mind back to the good, the bad and the ugly. Teetering on the edge of disaster, wondering whether forgiveness will find you, do you favour the truth or favour yourself? What risks would you take to protect your family when the odds are stacked against you? https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2706

Dougie Dixon: Proper Belter 8pm 13-14 August Camden Comedy Club Meet Dougie Dixon. He's the reality TV star you didn't know you knew. Original TOWIE cast member. As seen on Tipping Point Lucky Stars, Celebs On The Farm (reserve contestant) & Embarrassing Celebrity Bodies. Series winner of The Celebrity Etch-A-Sketch Challenge. Come join Dougie as he launches his first ever debut autobiography; Proper Belter! https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2723

Sam Mitchell: Wham Bam Thank You Sam 9.30pm 13 August The Bill Murray 45 mins of stand up comedy from one of the greats* about growing up**, committing*** and M+M World. * if you ask him ** trying to *** see above. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2707

Faye Treacy is a Work in Progress 8pm 15-17 August Camden Comedy Club As seen on BBC Three and heard on Radio Four, Faye Treacy is back with a new work in progress show. "One of the most unique performances you'll see at the Fringe this year... simultaneously childish, genius and inescapably memorable." **** (1/2) (ShortCom) https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2715

Dan Horrigan's Riot to Heaven Sky or the Bird 8.30pm 16-20 August at Aces and Eights High octane stories from men who would steal the eyes of ya and you wouldn't know until you went to read the paper. Laugh, weep and laugh again as we break into heaven. Raconteuring, storytelling, and theatre of the highest calibre. Second chances are rarer than rocking horse manure so get your ticket before we're off to rob another town. Cheers. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2549

Fatiha El-Ghorri & Katherine Atkinson: Mocking Birds Fat Kat Comedy 4.15pm 18 August at The Bill Murray Join Fatiha El-Ghorri and Katherine Atkinson (both 2017 Funny Women Awards Regional Finalists) for an hour of stand up as Fatiha smashes Muslim stereotypes and challenges you to re-think what you think you know about Islam and Muslims, and Katherine offers up an acerbic, sideways view of motherhood, if she can be bothered. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2728

Dane Baptiste: Work in progress 9.30pm 18 August at The Bill Murray Star of Live at the Apollo (BBC Two), Tonight at the London Palladium (ITV1) and 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (Channel 4) - Join Baptiste as he workshops brand new material for his next tour show. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2727

Red Richardson: Red Notice 8.15pm 21-22, 9pm 23-24 August The Taproom In 2017 Red Richardson left a building in Central London to see thousands of people running down the street screaming, for the next 35 minutes the whole of the country (Thanks to Pop star Ollie Murs tweeting from a basement in H and M) believed it was a terrorist attack. It wasn't. This is an hour of stand up about the human condition in crisis. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2390

Leave this World Alive 9.30pm 21 August at Water Rats 'I hope the exit is joyful' - wrote Frida Kahlo, only days before she died. When was the last time YOU thought about your end? And how does it make you feel? Powerless? Awake? Does it help you appreciate the moment you live in? We will reach out for a topic which brings all these questions on the table: assisted dying - determining our own end. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2731

Nico. No Regrets. 8.30pm 23 August The Chapel Playhouse A show by and with Margherita Remotti in association with Actors East London. Directed by Alberto Barbi. Text by Fernando Coratelli and Margherita Remotti. In this one woman show, we explore the life of Nico, better known as Andy Warhol's superstar, muse and rockstar singer of the Velvet Underground. But you will discover this was only the surface. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2729

The Golden Child William Desmond 5pm 24-25 August The Chapel Playhouse William Desmond has always considered himself the Golden Child. Today, people need to standout in a crowd of hundreds of faces. Will is a twin, and during this 60 minute show he explores what it is like to be in constant competition with his brother. With musical parody and silliness, Will explains being good at everything isn't always the answer. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2718

Ross Drummond & Harry Monaghan: The Orb 5.30pm 25 August The Bill Murray Have you touched The Orb? Want to meet two that have? A mainstay of science, wonder and amazement since its inception in the late 80s, The Orb is science’s greatest invention. What’s its purpose? We’re not sure. Perhaps it merely exists to inspire us. Anything is possible with The Orb. https://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=2709

**CANCELLED**

Darius Tabai: Schrodinger's Mum Comic Quartets Lloyd Langford: New Things (A Work in Progress) Steve McNeil: Video Games

[cardboardedison]

Cardboard Edison’s Favorite Tips & Resources of 2018

Our huge annual roundup of great board game design links and quotes is here!

featured:

The Process: Beta Colony by Matt Riddle and Ben Pinchback

Meaningful Decisions: J. Alex Kevern on Design Choices in World’s Fair 1893

Meaningful Decisions: Benoit Turpin on Design Choices in Welcome To...

Meaningful Decisions: Bruno Cathala on Design Choices in Kingdomino

theory:

A board game critic’s view of what makes a game memorable (video)

A discussion of “soft” and “hard” incentives in game design (audio)

A discussion about the assumptions we make about games—and how to design games that challenge them (audio): Part 1, Part 2

Board game design sessions from GDC 2018 (video)

“What is the goal of your game? It’s impossible to make decisions in the void, but if you know your audience, your game’s weight, the focus of the decisions, and the tone of your game (your goals), you can use that to hem in your decision.” - Grant Rodiek

process:

Ideas aren't worthless: the important role they play in making a game

A thread offering ways to foster ideas and innovation in your designs

Tips for researching games that might be similar to your design (audio)

“Who are you designing your game for? You? Go wild with weird mechanics. Friends? Listen & tune the game to suit them. A publisher? Learn to pitch a product to a business - you’re B2B. The world? It’s a product in the market that you will need to sell.” - Emma Larkins

“The more I create, the more I develop the skill of persistence. I see people ‘give up’ so easily, convinced that a problem is unsolvable, resigning themselves to a flaw in their work that they see as unavoidable. With very rare exceptions, there’s ALWAYS a solution. Find it.” - Peter C. Hayward

rules:

9 tips for writing better rules

10 ways of making your rulebook clearer

Rulebooks that nail it—a BoardGameGeek designers forum discussion

“Don’t blame the reader for misreading the rule book. Ask how you can improve the rule book.” - Dr. Wictz

prototyping:

Free art assets for independent board game designers

Graphic design references for tabletop game cards

Free library of icons for board game prototypes

playtesting:

Ways to get people to playtest your prototype: from designer groups to print-and-plays to conventions and more (audio)

licensing:

The essential elements of pitching your design to a publisher (audio)

Questions you should ask yourself before submitting a game to a contest or publisher

Charlie Hoopes on the design process, finding a publisher, recovering from disappointment, replayability, playtesting early and often, and more

“If I ask ‘What makes your game different from other games of the same theme and weight?’ and you can’t answer me? don’t make the game.” - Avonelle Wing

publishing:

Board game fulfillment logistics, and companies that do the work

A Kickstarter "launch sequence": the steps to take immediately after launching a project

How to make a budget for a Kickstarter board game project (video)

A crash course in board game manufacturing (video)

contests:

How to win a game design competition (audio)

Lots of pointers for making a pitch video

industry:

Tips and tricks for networking in the board game industry (audio)

Industry veterans offer advice to designers at Dice Tower Con 2018 (video)

On dealing with criticism as a board game designer

Cardboard Edison is supported by our patrons on Patreon.

ADVISERS: Rob Greanias, Peter C. Hayward

SENIOR INVENTORS: Steven Cole (Escape Velocity Games), John du Bois, Chris and Kathy Keane (The Drs. Keane), Joshua J. Mills, Marcel Perro, Behrooz "Bez" Shahriari, Shoot Again Games

JUNIOR INVENTORS: Ryan Abrams, Joshua Buergel, Luis Lara, Neil Roberts, Jay Treat

ASSOCIATES: Dark Forest Project, Stephen B. Davies, Marcus Howell, Thiago Jabuonski, Doug Levandowski, Nathan Miller, Mike Sette, Matt Wolfe

[ygreczed]

*takes a deep breath*

ARA I FINISHED IT !!!

So this is my participation to @theokunoagenda ‘s art contest ! I know you love cute boys in a very cute style but-    I   W A N T E D   T O   S E E   O K U N O   W I T H   A   M O R E ... B O Y I S H   S T Y L E   ???

Still didn’t see him like a 16 y-o boy so heh- IM TRYIN TO BE ORIGINAL

Hope you like him like this ! First I wanted to do something with a watercolour look but I can master it argh. So I’m back to traditional cel-shading, but I guess it’s not bad ?

Thank you again for the art competition ♥♥♥