#I would rather die at 50

[dalishthunder]

When you're naturally starting to lose weight at a natural pace because of hormones finally balancing out due to medication and the doc wants you to go on a restrictive diet to lose weight faster by cutting out ripe bananas. Sorry doc, I'll follow some of this, but nah. I'd rather die at 60 happy and eating my daily banana than live to 80 by following a restrictive diet that will cause me to yo-yo weight and develop eating disorders that I'm prone to anyway and be miserable

[wszczebrzyszynie]

Do you take commissions? O-O

I might open like 3 test slots when i turn 18 (10th may this year) but im not sure. As of right now, no

[kazz-brekker]

me reading a romantasy that is mean to mostly be a exciting and sexy read: don't overanalyze the politics and world-building don't overanalyze the politics and world-building don't overanalyze–

[baking-cha05]

Why is it that whenever I see a kfp 2 fanfiction all I see is people shipping Shen with their ocs

[theodore-sallis]

“Nobody Dies Forever!” Man-Thing (Vol. 1/1974), #10.

Writers: Mike Ploog and Steve Gerber; Penciler: Mike Ploog; Inker: Frank Chiaramonte; Colorist: Linda Lessman; Letterer: Dave Hunt

[beetlejuicesgraveyardrevue]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha i would like to die

[hirokiyuu]

really what it comes down to is that bc exocolonist is so small im posting more stuff i wouldnt normally post on ao3 the way i would if it had more content. cal+sol would Not have made the cut in bigger fandoms and beskfic would probably have remained a tumblr exclusive or at least gone in the ficlet collection. however, due to fandom size, i Must feed you people

[chuchuscoolhat]

/ An important piece of meta about my muses here;

Little spoon: P.oe, C.huuya, O.guri, F.yodor, R.anpo, D.azai, A.ngo

big spoon: T.ecchou, f.ukuzawa

[soulsolid-a]

forever normal ab how normal brook is ab putting his everything into being a strawhat and how little self worth/care he has in grand scheme of things--

[gorefetishizer]

first art post on tumblr since idfk how long ago: ocs ive never talked about anywhere before

[mistayss]

with yuki gone who’s gonna beat piper’s ass now??

[ranger-crisis]

I really wish tiefling age rates were more clear, because I want Joyce to be a few years younger than Gale. But I don’t know the tiefling equivalent to ~40 would be. Like if I actually make him ~40 then he’s probably too young, but idk how much bigger it would have to be.

[sturnsmadl]

dealer!chris headcannons!

dealer!chris who always discounts way too much for you.

"its on me."

"what? this is like 50 bucks worth.."

dealer!chris who makes sex jokes to you all the time.

"what? keep arguing and i'll put that mouth to better use."

"i'll bend you over that table if u don't shutup."

dealer!chris who refuses to give you any hard drugs.

"u got coke?"

"u got a brain? not happening."

dealer!chris who always comes over after deals.

dealer!chris who is possessive but unloyal.

"your mine. don't let anyone think different."

"you fucked another girl last night."

dealer!chris who your arguing with 24/7.

"and you just act like im nothing after your done!"

"when did i say you were nothing to me?!"

"you dont need to fucking say it!"

dealer!chris who expects you to stay single and wait for him.

dealer!chris who is clingy when he's drunk or high.

"hi baby! i missed you!!"

"chris move you stink."

dealer!chris who goes for any guy who tries to get you.

"you tryna hit on my girl?!"

"i-"

"chris leave him alone.."

dealer!chris who hurts anyone who hurts you.

dealer!chris who doesn't let you work.

"and i've got an interview-"

"cancel it."

dealer!chris who comes over late at night to fuck.

"you up?"

"i am now you were hitting my window."

dealer!chris who is always rough.

"take it. good girl. so tight for me."

"chris! too much- too much!"

dealer!chris who never uses protection.

"gonna fill you with my babies huh? go on let go."

dealer!chris who has dissapeared when u wake up the morning after.

dealer!chris who would rather die then bring you to a deal.

"ill drop u home first."

"just take me with u.."

"your funny sweetie."

dealer!chris who doesn't let you go overboard with your orders.

"can i have a few grams of-"

"a gram per day for you unfortunately princess."

"what? since when?"

dealer!chris who watches you like a hawk at party's.

dealer!chris who looks after you while your drunk.

"yep..good girl just- get it out of you.."

dealer!chris who ends up staying loyal just for you.

"what? i blocked them all."

"shutup..ur serious..?"

dealer!chris who finds out your pregnant before you do.

"look at your cute bump."

"what? im not pregnant.."

"morning sickness? cravings? tiredness?"

"oh shit.."

dealer!chris who does all his research for you.

"it says..you've got an hour to live."

"what??"

"im messing with u."

dealer!chris who is trying to get out of dealing for you and the baby.

dealer!chris who doesn't let you do too much.

"nuh uh. pass me that, its heavy."

dealer!chris who refuses to let the doctors stress you out at birth.

dealer!chris who only ever cried infront of you when you gave birth to his baby.

"oh my god..im so proud of you. she's beautiful."

"are you okay..?"

"yeah..the onions from the cafeteria.."

"sure buddy.."

"wow..im a dad.."

dealer!chris who will not let anything happen to his family.

a/n: not sure how i feel abt this but i need to start writing my new series :)

taglist! @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chriss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @sturniolo-fann @ncm9696

[curryshesus]

bts fics that give me life in a drought

(aka my favorite fics of all time) pt. 2

didn't expect to make a part 2 so soon but seeing how much recognition the first one got, here we are! some of these contain a hearty amount of angst, and oh they're just simply divine :( once again, please make sure to show your love and support to these lovely authors if you enjoyed any of these reads as much as i did!

➺ knife’s edge - by @readyplayerhobi

| jungkook x reader, jimin x reader | 141.8k

mafia au, fluff, angst, smut, violence, series

>> summary: "the jeon clan is family, built on blood and loyalty. it’s been an unspoken fact that one day you will marry the heir to the clan, jeon jungkook. you would be a fool to deny that you love him, but what happens when you meet a blue haired man who offers you a chance at normality?"

this fic absolutely BROKE ME. i was so conflicted all throughout and deadass went through all the 50 stages of grief. the angst was unparalleled. the fluff had me giggling like a madman cuz jk is an absolute sweetheart :( jimin is too :(( y/n is dumb and so is her situation :((( i cherish this fic sm

➺ novocaine - by @kinktae

| jimin x reader |

1990s au, exes au, angst, eventual smut, series

>> summary: "going home was hard – painful even. but falling back in love with jimin, the boy you left behind? downright gut-wrenching."

➺ ghostin him- by @adonis-koo

| namjoon x reader (taehyung x reader) | 26k

angst, angst, as well as angst. comfort too dw, one-shot

>> summary: "life is nothing more than dull colors for you, your world shattered and laying in the shards of what once was rather than focusing on what is. that is until you meet kim namjoon, who is immediately taken by you without realizing you’re a girl with a whole lot of baggage, through tears and many sleepless nights you’re faced with a choice of hanging on with bleeding hands, or accepting what is, and letting go."

ohmygod the writing hello? the amount of soul, depth, and sheer utter beauty in missy's words are beyond me. had me sobbing every other line and my heart aching all throughout and boy was it worth it.

➺ take five - by @jiminrings

| yoongi x reader | 10k

angst, fluff, unrequited love, pinning

summary: "dr. min yoongi's a board-certified dermatologist; skilled, renowned, and in-demand - oh and also, he's divorced."

➺ page turner - by @gukslut

| taehyung x reader | 13.6k

teacher!tae/ librarian!reader, fluff, smut, minor angst

summary: "corny romance and a zillion cheesy Romeo and Juliet quotes and references."

my tainted hopeless romantic heart ugh. they're so cute.

➺ bloom- by @hobidreams

| namjoon x reader | 20.7k

assassin!reader x florist!namjoon, smut, angst, action, sprinkles of fluff

>> summary: "family is who you kill for. who you die for. in this society, you and your kin are shadows, clinging to the darkness to obey orders absolute. but when such orders command you to abandon what little honor remains for wealth and notoriety, you find yourself lost in lonely uncertainty about the only vocation you’ve ever known. that is, until you meet a man with gentle hands, a poet’s heart, and a love for coaxing the world into bloom."

➺ counterfeit culture - by @ggukcangetit

| seokjin x reader | 29k

modern day au loosely based on jane austen’s pride & prejudice, e2l, fluff, smut, comedy

>>summary: “for as long as you can remember, you’ve always known right from wrong, good from bad, and woke from entitled/ignorant. but when you continue to cross paths with Kim Seokjin - the apparent antithesis of everything you believe in - certain walls begin to crumble. and over time, you come to realise that the world isn’t black and white, first impressions can be misleading, and that you are just as guilty as each person you’ve judged so harshly. realisation brings acceptance, and maybe, just maybe, acceptance can bring something more.”

➺ if i told you - by @gukyi

| jungkook x reader | 22k

friends to lovers!au, college!au, fluff, comedy, angst

>> summary: "in order to pay for university, jeon jungkook decides to market his most valuable asset to the wealthy socialites of campus: himself. donning a suit and tie, tousled hair, and glasses (to look smarter), he becomes every rich daughter’s dream: the perfect boyfriend to bring to balls, dinners, and business gatherings. all while you watch from the sidelines, only able to dream of having that much money to buy yourself what you really want: him."

➺ to hold a dragon's heart - by @softlyjiminie

| taehyung x reader | 19.1k

dragon prince!kim taehyung x warrior princess!reader, smut, angst, fluff, forbidden romance, dragon shifter!au, royalty!au, enemies to lovers!au

>> summary: "two kingdoms, two hearts and the world between them. your whole life has been a challenge, never an easy moment on your road to becoming queen but will one decision, one encounter with the man you were destined to hate, change the fate of your worlds, forever?"

[kaijutegu]

So. Now that she's home and safe and gonna be ok, I can talk about this.

I almost lost Kaiju. Christmas Day. I was woken up by a phone call from Allison, who will be referred to a LOT in this story. Allison runs the pet store where I board Kaiju. She called to tell me that Kaiju had lost a LOT of blood. (As it turns out, half her blood volume. Humans die when we lose 40%, just so you know. She lost 50%.)

There were no visible injuries, and she had passed a bloody stool. Or rather, a blood clot with some poop in it. She continued to pass only blood when they put her in the bathtub to clean her up. If I'd taken her anywhere else, that... would have been it, probably.

But Allison is an actual miracle worker and knew an emergency vet who was open- on Christmas Day- and could see reptiles. As soon as she called me, she took her to the e vet, where they gave her fluids and oxygen and got her stable. They did some x rays and found... nothing.

In fact, the e vet actually complimented me on her bone density and how nice her toe joints look. Whatever this mysterious haemorrhage was, it was in the soft tissue.

The immediate thoughts were:

Impaction

Cancer invading an artery

Aneurism

Reproductive issues

However, the emergency vet couldn't figure it out, and my vet was out of the country. The e vet consulted with a lot of vets and it was decided she'd go into Chicago Exotics for care the next day- they were willing to see her on immediate notice. Allison drove her over and they did an ultrasound... and couldn't differentiate the mass they found.

So, exploratory surgery it was.

But... she didn't have enough blood for that. She wouldn't have survived... if Allison hadn't found blood for her. Tegu donors were found, the transfusion happened, and was completely successful.

And what the surgery found was completely unexpected. No cancer. No repro issues. No typical impaction.

Instead? Weird white things in her muscles and a partial impaction that seems to be related to a reduction in her ability to properly digest. There are two possible diagnoses at this point. One is visceral gout. This is very strange because in reptiles, articular gout basically always happens first, and her kidneys are fine.

The other option? Weird, potentially cross species parasite she picked up when she was in the Everglades. Something she's likely had all her life, something that was dormant until recently.

I'll know when the pathology report comes back in a week or so.

Anyways! She is doing very well. She is alert and interested in things. She has an incredible appetite, even though she can't have solid food yet. She's on three meds, including one I have to inject. At her three week recheck, we will add a fourth- either the correct anti-parasitic or a medication to improve kidney function, depending on the diagnosis. Currently she's in a hospital cage and she hates it- she can't have any substrate because of the stitches.

The vet says it should take about three months until she makes her full blood volume. Her pack cell count should be at 35%. It was at 7% on the 26th. But by the 28th, it was at 10%. She's gonna be ok. She's tough. My little girl is a fighter, always has been. You have to be scrappy to survive in the wild.

And throughout this entire experience, everybody has told me how lovely her personality is. Through the injections and cloacal probing and everything, she never bit or even tried to. The vet didn't think she even wanted to bite. Like it wasn't a question of wanting to bite and not being strong enough- it's just not something in her behavioural repertoire. She doesn't bite because she doesn't want to. Because even at her most scared, at her most painful, she's still Kaiju, the best tegu to ever live. Love is stored in the tegu, and it continues to be stored in the tegu. We have a long road ahead of us, but she's out of the woods and is going to be ok. We both are.

Also, consider this a MAJOR plug for Curious Creatures in Chicago. I'm never going to board my animals anywhere else.

[threemouthedcanine]

HEY! My friend's in need of mutual aid (more detailed post above) and I'm opening +25 dollar commissions for it. Donate 25 dollars or more to:

C: $voidhex

V: ccheung333

KO-FI.COM/THEGASH

and dm me with proof of donation to get one (or more, depending on amount, 50$ will get you two pieces, 100$ will get you 4, etc.) piece of artwork from me.

I specialize in people and monsters, I can only do simple backgrounds. I would prefer to draw ocs rather than fanart. (+will draw nsfw illustrations for +30$ donations)

Examples of my art below:

Even if you're personally uninterested in my art please share and boost this post and the one linked above, my friends are amazing wonderful people going through intense hardship right now and even a few small donations help make a difference.

If you cannot dm me @threemouthedcanine for whatever reason you can dm my sideblog, @twelvemouthed and get your art there.