#I would do it myself if I can write and not braindead

[haunted-planes]

Milesapp AU of them being College Buddies.

Miles with no sense of orientation wants to be a professional actor. Zundapp wants to gain as much knowledge as possible, bc knowledge is power. They both share the same passion for world domination and hate being looked down at for being lemons. And they’re roommates (omg they’re roommates)

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3

[facefullofsadness]

Can I ask Dom!jealous!Kazuha, insult the reader because the reader hugs someone else?

content - jealous dom!kazuha x reader, smut (forceful aggressive sex, degradation, biting, fingering, sadistic themes), mentions of aespa winter, OVERLY POSSESSIVE KAZUHA, zuha's like actually mean and insults you :((, fluff at the end

wc - 1444

a/n - maybe too harsh? realizing after writing it's a little (pretty) aggressive... but it's fineeee, wk kazuha's a sweetheart!

it's not that kazuha DOESN'T trust you.

but it's moreso that she's just possessive! seeing you hangout with winter a lil more than usual these days rubs her the wrong way. it gradually boils her blood, knowing you were friends with minjeong before you even met zuha. she's just worried she might lose her precious gf!

it comes to a breaking point when you come home late one night. you panicked, you were supposed to be home an hour ago but couldn't tell ur gf because your phone died! and you were out late bc traffic at this hour was insane, so as best as minjeong tried to drop you off at home, it was hard to do so.

eventually, you both made it to your place. minjeong walked you to your door as you fumbled with your keys. it swung open before you could even put the right key into the door, a grumpy kazuha behind it. you and minjeong both sighing in relief to see that she was home already.

jeongie would excuse herself, but wouldn't be able to leave first without you pulling her into a tight hug, rubbing her back and thanking her repeatedly for her help. the sight made zuha's blood pressure skyrocket, the words you said processing in her mind maliciously. before you could even pull away completely from your best friend, ur gf calls for you to come in immediately, scowling at your short haired bestie.

you apologize and shrug, thanking minjeong again before entering your home, kazuha slamming the door behind you once you're inside.

"why the fuck were you late y/n?" her voice filled with authority.

her tone shocked you and you scoffed, "why do you sound like my mom? geez..."

this angered her already angry self, dragging you by the wrist and shoving you onto your couch. she climbed on top of your hips, straddling you and trapping your body under her.

"answer the fucking question. or are you too braindead to process it?"

kazuha didn't wanna be so mean to you, but she couldn't help herself. hearing the words leave her mouth, she knew it was wrong and she definitely was gonna apologize later. but right now, you were appalled by her behavior, it hurt you and you raised your voice back at her.

"what the fuck is wrong with you, zuha?! what are you ACTUALLY saying to me right now?"

"oh shit, are you deaf too? do your ears work? because apparently I didn't make myself clear."

you're gobsmacked. how could you not be? your usually sweet and gentle girlfriend was insulting you, being unnecessarily mean. you feel your mouth fall open at her words, in genuine shock as you prop yourself up on your elbows to face her. her jaw was clenching and you could see her temples throb, eyebrows furrowed as her hands gripped your shoulders.

"are you too much of a dumb whore not to process a simple question? just a bimbo, aren't you y/n?"

it wasn't funny, it was painful.

your hands shot up and clenched the material of her shirt's collar, "who are you right now, nakamura kazuha?"

you watch as her eyes darken and face changes, her pushing you to lay flat against the sofa, "the person that you belong to."

with that, she tears your hands off of her and rips your jacket and shirt off. she's quick, scurrying to remove your clothes. you feel your throat form a lump and your eyes water. you didn't like how she was treating you right now, kazuha wasn't herself, and you were gonna suffer because of it. she left you exposed in only your dark-colored lacy set lingerie, a bitter expression on her face.

"how badly do you wanna fuck kim minjeong, huh? why her and not me? why don't you love me anymore?"

her question confuses you and clashes in your mind, thoughts thrashing in your head of how much she was hurting you and how harshly she was treating you. her touches were aggressive, gripping and scratching at your body, her mouth biting all over you. you whimper out in pain and squirm under her, trying to push her away and get her to calm down.

"what do you mean zuha? of course I love you! who said I wanted to fuck minjeong?"

she ignores you, mouth nipping at your neck, down your chest, across your stomach, and through your thin underwear.

"you're mine y/n! no one else's! only mine!" she digs her nails into your hips before dragging your panties down to your ankles.

a pained expression crawls onto your face the more she proceeds. you feel her spit onto your entrance, her fingertips rolling to cover her digits in it. you bite your lip as kazuha forces the length of her fingers into your cunt, ramming them in and out of you at high speed, eliciting a scream to erupt from your choked throat.

"zuha please!" you sob, your hands gripping at the material of her clothes as she hovers above you.

she shoots her free hand to cup your cheek, using her thumb to pry your mouth open and putting her finger in, expecting you to suck on it. your gf coos when you do, sniffling as you swirl your tongue around her.

"is it that I have to force you into submission for you to listen? are you that much of a slut?"

you clamp your eyes shut, feeling tears roll down the sides of your face. despite all the emotional turmoil, you couldn't deny how well kazuha memorized your body, hitting spots inside of you that made your back arch and having her thumb in your mouth making your hands form fists.

her words hurt, but her fingers hurt better.

your eyes flutter open, vision blurry from your tears. the loud squelching of her digits ramming into you was all you heard. her intense gaze demanded your weak one, but you obliged, looking into her eyes, her stare wild. fire roared furiously in the kind and brown eyes you once fell for, but now you couldn't recognize who this was. she looked at you like a predator hunted prey, like you were food to fuel her, your eyebrows furrowed and tears running down your face. you looked perfect like this.

this is what I want. you to be ruined by only me. you to be only mine.

"fuck!" you moaned, back arching into her, feeling you get closer to the edge.

your hole clenched around her, zuha's fingers constantly hitting your g-spot repeatedly. your fists pulled your gf in closer and you popped her thumb out of your mouth, burying your face into her shoulder and screaming as you came. hips bucking wildly against kazuha's hand and sobs ripping from your mouth as pleasure overwhelmed you. her fingers stopped pummeling in you when your body relaxed onto the couch, pulling her hand away and cleaning it with her mouth.

kazuha blinked a few times and her sanity returned, immense guilt filling her body when she looked down at your limp figure, your arm covering your face as you silently cried. her heart dropped at the sight and chest tightened, bringing her hands gently up to caress your cheeks.

"m-my love, I... I don't know what came over me, I'm so sorry..."

you heard your girlfriend again, the version of your gf that you actually knew, her sweet voice apologizing to you. she pulled your arm from your face and you opened your eyes to meet the gentle brown ones you missed and you cried harder.

"kazuha, if you hate minjeong that much, just tell me! what's wrong with you?" your voice was weak and you felt broken.

she didn't like the way she acted and she knew you hated it even more.

"you're right, I'm so so so sorry y/n, I got too jealous and possessive because god, I'd rather die than lose you. you didn't deserve how I took it out on you," she whispers against your ear and plants kisses along your jaw.

she pulled you closely into her arms, holding you like you were the most prized possession in her world.

there was some work to do (like therapy goddamn), but you knew your girlfriend, she was better than this, and she was gonna prove it to you, so you accepted her apology.

sniffling your sobs into her shoulder, you laughed, "you owe me."

"I know I do, I promise you darling, I will."

you pull away from her and rest your forehead against her's, "you can start by getting me ice cream."

[luverz-exe]

Hey, I was wondering if maybe you could do yandere headcanons for The Riddler from arkahm city? I rarley see anything about the arkahm games. However, If not it's fine, have a nice day or night!

Yandere Arkham City! Riddler Headcanons

...Uh, hi. I'm back. sorry for the prolonged hiatus, I've just been...dealing with a lot at the moment. I'm glad to be back. I'm not gonna be making a full blown post for it, so imma just say my piece here. Don't worry Anon, I'm gonna get to your request soon- just wanna talk a little bit. Requests will be off for awhile, how long, I'm not sure. Going to finish the requests I can, I won't force myself to do them all- because if I can't write it, then I realize I'm not obligated to. A reason that I quit was because I was so overwhelmed with stuff. But that was any of your faults! I am absolutely astounded that I have so much support! Just that sometimes I need to realize that I can't do everything there is out there, because I'm still an amateur writer, there's a lot I can't do and even more that I have yet to get good at. Sorry for rambling, here's your request Anon!!

Slightly suggestive near the end, oopsie doopsie guys. Oh yeah, and he says some really mean words, guys- an absolute shocker 🤯

Here's the thing when it comes to Edward. He's an asshole- a smug, insensitive asshole. Of course, we all know this by now. But this snarky self-absorbed piece of shit is slowly starting to decay, inside out. His mental state fluctuates, and it really is straining on your "relationship". He believes in more practicality, you're here to be his assistant, and he's here to protect your primitive brain (though, less than your peers, just enough for him to take you under his wing and truly try and help you flourish) from combusting. He can make you smarter, you know. You have so much potential, enough to be second best...Just watch, and learn. It's not like you'll have a choice.

Yeah...The first few weeks-months will be tenuous- it's likely you didn't join this relationship of your own volition. And even if you somehow did, it's not going to be any better. He's making you go no contact with the outside world. While you call it a fucked up form of house arrest, he prefers to call it a more civilized form of rehabilitation. Sorry, not sorry- those idiotic, moronic, brain-dead louts would taint you again. No wonder you're so much dumber than him, all your life you've been surrounded by bad influences (so was he, but he's a prodigy, and you're just smarter than average- it's different). You have to stay away from them because any smarts he's been giving you might be sucked up by those braindead leeches!

Good news though- free range of his living space (if you can even call it that)! While he's still keeping his appearance semi-clean, his space hasn't, as he's slowly beginning his descent into the Arkham Knight version. But hey, how about you be a good helper and pick some stuff up- keep you occupied short-term. Because, you try and talk to him, it's going to be a lot longer- and you might want to take notes because he is going to test your knowledge on it later.

"Why are you bothering me? ..Cleaning? No, no, you stop that. If you're going to keep your mind occupied, then I recommend you grab the 11mm crowfoot wrench and get over here." When you didn't move, be it you didn't know where he stored those or a genuine lack of knowledge about wrenches, he peered up from his work. "..What, can't even do that?" He signed, furrowing his brow, but prevented himself from badmouthing further. It wasn't their fault for having an idiot society teach them about these things. "..Just- grab the flashlight, over there on the counter, I'll get it myself- and you better pay attention. This mistake will not be made more than once, I assure you of it."

Pity is a common occurrence, but his sympathy isn't. Oh, your poor pitiful shrunken brain, rotting away from all the bad people in your life. But you should've taken one quick look at him, realized he was your intellectual superior and asked for him to bring your brain to a normal size and to ditch everyone else in your life. That's your fault.

Now, it isn't all bad! Look on the bright side, learning is now your full time job- with him as your teacher (in a non-sexual way, because god-damnit if you think you can get out of learning about the proper ways to build one of his puzzles by giving him a handjob (you can, and probably should to avoid what would be considered a 5 hour lecture over the course of the day)). He enjoys teaching you all that he knows, and he expects you to share that enthusiasm, especially when he talks about batman. When he starts talking about the flying rat that plagues his life, you better listen. You're going to be his assistant someday with all of this 'killing Batman' thing, so you better hop on that train early.

While he does call you an idiot, he's just self-projecting his hatred of Batman (and himself) onto you. No, it's not your fault- it's 100% his own and he won't apologize or acknowledge it in a meaningful way. It slowly dissipates the more your 'nasty' attitude does, but even then it never fully disappears. Depends on the day. He'll never get better, though, not fully. And once you see how bad he becomes in Arkham Knight, you'll realize this isn't as low as he can go.

"You idiot! Can't you do something right? When I talk, you listen! Why do I even keep you around?! You're an absolute buffoon, you know that?...Of course you don't, you see? If you were with me sooner, you wouldn't be like this. We'll get you to the intelligence level you should be, don't you worry, but clearly we're going to need to change tactics if I'm going to get it through that thick skull of yours."

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hello! I was going to req some hc’s or like a drabble for the narrator/jack? Both SFW & NSFW if you can but if you can’t it’s fine ^^ (ur literally carrying the tag on ur back LMAO)

Jack/The Narrator x Medical Staff Male Reader

Drabble

I tried writing this from Jacks perspective.

I have to get used to calling him Jack again, since I had to call him Joe in my assignment, since that’s what hes called in the book. This is based off of the books ending, so maybe google it if you don’t know it?

I had the idea of the reader being medical staff a while ago, and id love to explore it more with both Jack and Tyler, both as the same person or as separate people. No smut, but I hope that’s still good :)

on the shorter side, but enjoy

Heaven was a slow and dull place. Cold white walls, cold white floors, cold white clothes, bland tasteless food and angels watching over you, making sure you ate every bite and checking that you took all the tasteless little tablets in tiny cups. Their eyes would bore into you as you swallowed down the little things, some even wanted to see under your tongue to make sure you had taken them all. Just follow orders, open your mouth please, life your tongue, to the right, to the left, thank you, you can close your mouth now.

The only angel that mattered in this place was… him. I could never remember his name, even though he wore a nametag like every other angel. The only thing I could remember with certainty was his eyes. Unlike the other angels and God who looked at me with badly hidden fear and disgust, he looked at me with patience and warmth, so warm. I don’t even think my mother ever looked at me with that much care.

He was the first angel I saw when I woke up, his hand holding mine, his thumb rubbing light circles over the scar on the back of my hand. Over Tylers scar. I couldn’t speak the first month or two I was here, almost blowing your face off would do that to you, but he was always patient to me, waiting between his questions like I somehow had the ability to answer.

Even when I felt so empty and hollowed out, he would show up, turn me over and wipe me down, because I had become so invalid, I couldn’t even wash myself. Even the space monkeys that wandered the halls as cleaners or whatever else seemed to like him. My angel. My guardian angel.

Hes poor you know, he does this because he loves us low lives. His dad offed himself in front of him when he was a kid, his mom overdosed in the bathtub when he was a teen. His aunt that took him in beat him. Hes just as lowly as us, but he’s so kind, even us space monkeys, he always takes care of us Sir, you’ll love him Sir.

Sir.

Sir.

Sir.

That’s all they call me, waiting with bated breath for him to return. For their messiah, for their God Tyler Durden to return. But all that was left was me, a loose-limbed scarecrow of a person, all jagged edges, and shadowed eyes. My angel always made sure I took the pills, I didn’t even care if he made me swallow cyanide, poison or some other drug that would leave me braindead. As long as he caressed my scarred cheek with those warm careful fingers afterwards, and spoke to me in that soft voice.

He must have noticed how I preened under his praise, because my angel kept praising me from then on. Soon thoughts of Project Mayhem and Space Monkeys and Marla meant nothing. As long as my angel was there to hold me when I wailed and seized through the different treatments, nothing mattered.

My angel made my insides twist and warm in ways neither Marla nor Tyler had ever made them twist. The medication God made me take made it so I couldn’t get hard, but I swear if I could, just thinking about my angel’s lips would have left me rock solid.

I wanted him to stay with me, but apparently that wasn’t advisable. He had other souls to check on, others to shine his light upon. But I never wanted him to go. He always caressed my hair before leaving, telling me to be good before he returned, and so I was. The time without him blurred together into a mess with no meaning.

Simply waiting for my angel to return again.

[fuck-customers]

I accidentally slightly fucked myself, but it can easily be unfucked. It just gave me insight into just how stupid upper management is and how much they focus on the wrong things in favor of nitpicking shit that does not matter at all.

So I've been snatching unwanted receipts that customers leave behind in order to fill out the receipt surveys that I know my manager reads. The reason for this was because I wanted upper management to fix some shit that would make the store better. Namely, putting fucking prices on the products that are being sold in a store. What an idea.

Do they listen to this part? Or any of the other valid complaints? No. What did they do? They focus on the small handful of reviews that had "no" selected for "did a team member greet you when you entered?"

Which. Is SO beyond the point of any of the reviews. I listen to the real customers that come in complaining and I parrot their complaints to the online reviews and almost everyone hates that there's no scanners and they can't price check items before they get to the register and that the products do not have price tags on them. They hate that the online inventory is fucked up and wildly inaccurate for how many of certain items we actually have in stock. They hate the crappy "music" that is played on the radio. They hate that there's never anyone on the floor to answer questions or assist them.

So obviously, we should focus on yelling hello at the customers "so you can be heard from the back of the store" (honestly how my braindead managers wanted me to "greet" customers...I will not be doing that. I'll greet in a normal voice)

So anyway. Now I have to write some more reviews that say "yes I was greeted when I walked in" Trial and error is actually kind of fun because I get to see just how big of a train wreck this company is.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[astolfofo]

bruh i wrote this on a whim. but it needs to be said.

tw: manipulation, yandere. Nothing too much. It’s pretty mild, but it’s dazai so idk what to say. 

bruh if this flops im gonna actually cry tho. I actually used my brain to write this. even tho I used causual language and this ain’t that formal ughsdfhlkdsj. but also sorry if it’s really bad. I didn’t even proofread this I just copy and pasted it into tumblr. Also, if the ending’s kinda messy or if there’s like grammar mistakes... pls tell me I literally am so braindead rn i can’t read

would also tag people this was inspired by but this is actually half shitpost and that would be hella rude of me to do that so. lmfao. (translate: i don’t have the balls)

===

I see so many people thinking that Dazai would fall for someone cheerful, and bubbly, who would approach him first.

Honestly, I disagree.

I think the opposite. Maybe it’s because I see part of myself in Dazai (and Yozo from the No Longer Human), or maybe because it’s simply because I’m not a bubbly, happy, person in general (but i wanna be with him jkjk unless… ) but. I personally disagree with that headcannon, I don’t really see it happening. Obviously, there are cases of characters liking an innocent, sweet, bubbly darling (cough. Nikolai. Chuuya. Akutagawa. Atsushi.) But, for Dazai… I feel like that would be too boring for him. Not as in he wouldn’t like it that way… but it would be too easy for him, ya know? Like there’s no challenge, there’s no… interest in doing that. Why would Dazai want someone so open, so innocent, so bubbly and kind, who would listen to anything he said? That’s not even genuine, that’s fake. Everyone has their own secrets, their lies, and they create a fake mask for everyone else to see. They wouldn’t want to show their true self… because it’d make them not only look bad… but also we’d all be extremely vulnerable. And violent.

Dazai knows this better than anyone else. I’d like to think, anyways. And innocent people like that, whether genuine or not, usually would deter him because they’re… too easy to pursue. Despite being a good liar himself, I don’t think he’d want someone who would fake the niceness, because it would be obvious from the start. Dazai doesn’t strike me as someone who would enjoy breaking his darling down (that’s Fyodor’s thing bro would definitely like someone who is fake). He has some morality, he doesn’t like using mind break. After all, that goes against what Oda told him to do. However, he’d definitely enjoy mind games, he’d like to pick you apart to get to know you better. Better than you know yourself. And once he does, he can leverage you however he likes to be his ideal woman. Even that manga q and a (I’lll find the link later) said that Dazai likes all women because he can make them into what he wants. Someone who’s outright innocent and kind wouldn’t be able to achieve that effect for him. It doesn’t offer him the challenge, it doesn’t offer him any kind of challenge in just manipulating someone innocent who barely hides anything. That would be a bad thing, and even his skwered sense of whatever morals he has would disagree with it. He wouldn’t even be able to fall for someone like that. Simple-minded people, just aren’t for him.

So, in prose, I’d like to offer an alternate idea: Dazai would like a darling that’s, obviously to a similar intelligence as him (otherwise they’d be… too easy), but very distant. Not as in a “they have a mask on”, kind of way. But in a. They’re apathetic, cold, and aren’t great at communicating kind of way. I think it’s an interesting dynamic. The first time when Dazai sees them, he may not even think much of them. Neutral cold face doesn’t say many sentences and wants him to leave. Maybe a slight fear of him, that he approached them. However, as time passes by, Dazai realizes he likes them. He genuinely craves their presence. He notices the way you don’t exactly know what his motives are, he enjoys the way you flinch when he touches your hands, or blush and do not know how to respond to his comments.

He sees all of it. And he wants to see who you really are. Behind your true mask. Maybe you’re a narcissist. Maybe you’re just a kind innocent person. Or maybe… you’re just as empty and lonely as he is. Whatever you are, he’ll eventually turn you into what he wants. It’s just a matter of time.

It’s like he’s looking at a Christmas present, and trying to guess the contents inside. The curiosity kills him. He wants to look at what it is now, but he can’t. He can’t. Until it’s Christmas day. So in the meantime, he’ll do everything except pull down the thin wrapping paper, and the apathetic, cold face you put on for everyone around you. It’s rather difficult actually, you do a pretty good job at covering your true self. You’re a skilled liar, you can control any physical reactions you have towards his questions.

But that just makes it all the more addictive.

The second you slip up, even just for a tiny. Little. Bit. Dazai is able to pinpoint a lot about you. It’s almost like he tore off a corner of the wrapping paper on his present, and he’s knows a lot about what it is. It’s more than he expected. It was just one facial expression. A face of shock, to anger, and then you calm yourself to the best of your abilities again. It’s barely noticeable to the average person. But that’s the thing. Dazai isn’t average. 

He’s the smartest man you’ll ever know.

It makes you feel conflicted. And you’re aware this is probably where Dazai wants you to be. And it is. Dazai finally was able to make a dent on the thin walls inside your mind. The walls that separated your true self, from others. And he’d pick and tear down these walls continuously until he was able to see inside.

But for Dazai... it’s his Christmas day. Dazai felt like his efforts... his waiting, his long awaited efforts were finally rewarded. All it took was one little slip on your behalf, one tiny little tear, for the wrapping paper to completely fall off. And as it lays discarded on the floor, Dazai admires the gift. He admires you. Your mind is such a vulnerable place. Yet in its own way, it’s beautiful and fragile. He feels like he physically cannot tarnish it. Yet... you’re so much more different than he thought. 

You’re niether a kind person, nor a violent one. You’re not broken, you’re not depressed nor anxious nor scared. You’re not nearly what he idealizes so much, and you’re not some insane slave to your ideals. No... what was inside that box and wrapping paper all this time was similar to a piece of piece of glass. Plainly boring in its own way... yet beautiful if shaped in the right hands. 

You’re a blank slate. Sure, you have your own trauma, your own struggles, desires, and wishes but... he’ll still do as he wants to you. 

And you won’t have a single say in it. 

You’re a blank slate. A canvas waiting to be drawn on. And draw on you he will. 

He’ll admire you, he’ll protect you, he’ll... do anything and everything to make you love him. You’ll.... you’ll learn to love him.

And in return, you’ll be the only one who will see and understand his true self.

[jorisjurgen]

World of Twelve dashboard simulator #2

👁️ katarynadance follow

Freaks may say i want to fuck antonio sadisski from the bontarian boufbowl Love Arrow team. I'm freaks. I mean im freaks. I mean im freaks.

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wouldn't go that far, but NGL, I don't know how one might not develop an affinity for him... Very charming man! He might be the second greatest player after Khan.

Then again, my opinion on who the second greatest player is changes all the time, haha.

🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow

Ehh khan's been dead for centuries....! Let it go. I think he's cool, but thinking nobody will ever be better is crazy...

🌌 somethingquietplace

He developed most of the techniques still used to this day, just so you know. Visit a museum perhaps. It might be helpful?

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

average khan fan showing how much criticism of his favourite misogynyst he can withstand.

🌌 somethingquietplace

And you're an average 16 year old child with Very Important Opinions trying to educate me nicely.

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

Seeing somethingquietplace and sadidaskickshoe on the same post is kind of terrifying.

#worlds most toxic crossover? #20 callout posts gang real?

(1,582 notes)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

Guys they both blocked me ASFHFKDKGJSJ

Do i get a boufbowl fandom badge of honor now????? Did i make it in life?????

🦠 gorebludsac follow

I don't think it's a nice way to post, considering one of them is like neurodivergent and a minor, and the other is tumblr user somethingquietplace (diagnosis self explanatory)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

I'm sorry yeah i forgot that they're both diagnosed.

#ngl i feel bad kinda for both of them

(34 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

I hate adventuring with other people. Just being there and knowing I'll never be their friend. I want to say something, be in the conversation, but I never know what to say, and everyone already knows each other and

Well even when they don't yet know each other, obviously they'll prefer anyone else over me. They'll give up on trying to talk to me.

It's so weird... I hate everyone. Everyone has stupid interests and tastes. Just braindead things. Romance and fucking and fashion. And all of them have normal lives and normal families and once in a while they ask something about mine and I don't know what to say at all. And I want to be liked. Even if I have zero respect for anyone I want to like me. Is it weird?

I guess I'm just sad because I don't have that innate talent to pretend like I care about other people. Or maybe I wish someone actually liked me besides my family.

#delete later #...I really like this ''forbid others from reblogging a post'' function they added recently #When my dad dies I think I will finally kill myself I guess. #not osu #Honestly I can't tolerate anyone at my work. I hate them all and want them dead. #And I can't tolerate anyone close to my age. #They all insult me. Constantly. You know. #So the only people who like me are my family. #Its neverending. I can't take it anymore. #I think me only liking my family might be a self fulfilling prophecy but i don't care. #or so I think.

(2 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow

people who post about their family issues on here are weird.... My brother isn't here but just the idea of him seeing anything on my phone makes me so scared to write anything!! 😵‍💫

#temp

(1 note)

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wish people would refrain from obvious vagueblogging about my deleted posts.

#delete later #not osu

(284 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

people who stalk other peoples blogs are so weird!! I think it's easier to follow one another. Because this is getting embarrassing for us both XD

🌌 somethingquietplace

Ok.

#Mostly I am following you because you said you liked Khan Karkass. #Even if you don't have good opinions (ones I agree with) on him.

(1243 notes)

🦠 gorebludsac follow

A second mad xelor explosive machine has hit the tumblr boufbowl fandom

#those.two.... are mutuals now. #i canrt stop laughing there are tears rolling down my face #remember when kickshoe told me in explicit detail how she wanted me to kill myself #or how quiet typed out whole 40 paragraphs of threats #and ended that post with ''youre wasting my time away from work'' as if hes not termianlly online too #this is historical for me and nobody else

(46 notes)

🪰 maldemal follow

She throw dice on my tabletop til i eacflipcity

🕳️ eviltreeman follow

Collect my Thirsty Branches

(459 notes)

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bruh someone tried to kill the prince again and missed. How the fuck does a fifth assassin in a row fail at killing the prince of brakmar!!!! I can't live in this stupid country anymore

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Even if things suck i dont think killing royals is the answer..... 😰

(109 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

Was in a store recently. The prices were disgusting, and the worst of all, the Ministry of Moral Purity wants to propose a tax for being negative about the government... Are we in Brakmar now? Is this Brakmar we're in?

I have something very taxable to say but shall refrain.

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bontarians when something bontarian happens bontarianly in bonta: is this fucking brakmar

unlike you, I have the free speech to wish death on our royalty. I can say freely that I hope the prince of brakmar kills himself.

🌌 somethingquietplace

It's literally so easy to hate you even besides the holier than thou attitude... Your city has lava. Would a good place to live with good people have lava. Would a good place with good people have invented something called "the Brakmarian burial"?

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

You can't be saying that white-blue boy

#WHERE DID A RANDOM BONTARIAN LEARN A 500 YEAR OLD GANG TERM FOR BODY DISPOSAL?? #WHAT???

(24295 notes)

🪄 pantypervert69 follow

CALLOUT POST:

@/xellymelly has been selling re-bought goods from The Mad Xelor. Do NOT buy from her. Not only are they dangerous, they are also wildly past their expiration date. DO NOT USE ANYTHING YOU BOUGHT FROM HER. IT WILL KILL YOU.

🌌 somethingquietplace

If you have items made by The Mad Xelor, Kerubim Crepin from Bonta's Aux Tresors de Kerubim shop has a recycling program for all victims of this scam. He even gives out rewards for all the items you bring in.

I implore you to consider taking the things you bought to him, and making the world a safer place. (And "★bring some magic to your life★")

#not osu #I can personally vouch for this store's quality. It's very well known among some circles around here.

(4838 notes)

🚬 pigpigeazer follow

Everyone always jokes about the bad parts of classes but nobody ever talks about how generous the pandawa are, how honest iops are, how lively ecaflips are, and how empathetic sacriers are

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

literally im always saying that!

🤖 athefogenesis follow

Except it always comes at the expense of mentioning that their religion makes them ignorant, addicts, or drives them to self harm?? We need to bully people who are hardcore about class tenets harder. You're destroying yourself for some all powerful reality-warping creature that doesnt give a shit about you

🤹 lancerclown420 follow

People like you give us atheist classes such a bad name. Everyone and everything in the world has a purpose, both those who follow a deity, and those who follow a primciple and

Actually they're a sufokian supremacist so nvmmmm

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

THE NOTES ARE A FREE BLOCKLIST 💀

(637 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

#not osu #delete later #the thing is that. I never stopped hating him for ruining my life. #But the amount of hatred i feel ebbs and flows. Does it make sense? #This is stupid. So stupid... Like #oh nooo papycha... you neglected me as a child to the point of incurable mental diseases... #They would be better off if I was dead honestly #i need me and my dad to die. #I need everyone to die actually

(2 notes)

🦞 foggerfish follow

Apparently there's a big thing going on in demigod history community because Goultard (you know, the 4847372882843 or whatever year old son of Iop) undied again and was spotted somewhere around Astrubian border.

👽 cvt3-r41nb0w follow

MY WEDDING IS BACK ON NOBODY WILL HOLD ME BACK. He already married witches i can be the fourth

🗣️ thedarkwitchfromthatbook-is-gay follow

Isn't he gay

😈 osawhip666 follow

isn't he a mass murderer

🌌 somethingquietplace

Finally a reason to kill myself?

#I have to work with demigods a lot so... #Wish me luck in avoiding him like plague? #I had horrible experiences with him in the past #but talking about it would definitely lead someone to finding out who I am so... #I hope he kills himself and it sticks for once.

(447 notes)

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Heyyy

I wish people would stop rb'ing quiet's boufbowl gifsets considering the fact hes racist, misogynist, a freak, a bonta apologist (goes with the racism), has a fucking Maid, and likes some really weird things.

At least kickshoe has the excuse of being like a teen but this fucking guy is just something else.

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

whatd he do? 🥺

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Says weird things about brakmar (x, x, x, x, x, x, x, and mooooore), is a freak (x, x), and a misogynist (x, x, x) (STOP STANNING KHAN KARKASS) also he's weird about huppermages and self described his class as an antihuppermage and even though it was like 200 years ago hes a wholeass immortal man and also is Still a weirdo about ecaflips.

(385 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

RE: the newest cancellation

I don't care about your feelings and I have nothing to apologize for.

#not osu

(1842 notes)

🦴 skellythievin follow

Not me honoring sram by stealing bones from the graveyard 😭

🦴 ougigou-woof-woof follow

LEGENDARY POST

#WHY DO I HAVE THE SAME PFP AS THE BONE STEALING SRAM

(59227 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Yaaa antonio sadisski won as always!! They should put sadidas like him in the hall of heroes for our country ᕙ⁠ ⁠(⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠)

👯 mirarynnnw follow

He sucks

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Hi kill yourself :) /gen

#i was banned from using my phone but ill risk it all again to say that nobody will miss you!

(12 notes)

[monstermoviedean]

it's honestly beyond wild how easily dean lets cas off for some pretty irredeemable, unforgiveable stuff with no understanding or even acknowledgement on cas' part of the kind of incredible actual-no-strings gift he's been given (and thrown away, rinse, repeat). i can appreciate the take that it just goes to show how deeply braindead in love dean is (and i might still be able to find the romance in it if there was ever any kind of equal or at least comparable weight on cas' end) but he can do (and has done) (and deserves) so much better! rip!! on a list of all dean's boyfriends ranked in order of how well they treated him cas would come in dead last.. can't even rate him over the ones that tried to kill dean because uh cas has not only done that too but also done that more than most (without even factoring in the mind control) lol wanky maybe but that doesn't make it untrue womp womp

anyway the trap effectively killed many of my charitable feelings for cas and despair took care of much of the rest. i know you're not there yet and still manage some warmth for cas besides (plus my post s15 cas/destiel opinions probably trend significantly more harshly than even the rare and wonderful few who have been openly critical of both that aren't br*nly/c*sties, i can acknowledge that lol) but after the trap and knowing what's still to come, it's very difficult for me to see cas-as-dean's-endgame being a positive thing for dean. that may be what he wants but like please for the love @ him: want better!!! i mean, s6 was tough but also so crunchy and opened the door for a world of (tragically unrealized) possibilities. the shadow that s15 and everything leading up to it casts over all of that is just.. so so long. there's been so many opportunities for cas to be better and he just. wastes them.

i'm so interested to see what your takeaway from despair is because it left me feeling kind of hollow on destiel and deeply skeptical of cas when stacked up against everything else. cas may be in love with his idea of dean but he's proven over and over again that he's either incapable of or unwilling to be and see dean as an equal, loving partner. idk if it's a fault in the writing (feels like a cop out to pin things on that though, especially when cas is actually written fairly consistently compared to most other characters) or just that mc isn't as dynamic/effective an actor as jackles but i find myself less and less convinced of cas' sincerity as time goes on. he's wildly selfish. i think it's far easier to make the argument in canon that everything he's done, including that confession, has been far more selfishly motivated than motivated by any genuine love or care for dean (or jack for that matter). maybe an uncharitable assessment, but not an unfounded one.

what dean says about angel's caring and cas playing sorry in 7x21 and cas insisting he's "a lot like people" to rowena's (very apt) assessment of him in 10x22 are always top of my mind when i try to make sense of cas in the aftermath. he's not sorry, he's playing sorry. he's not people, he's performing people. angels don't have souls and i'm not sure i really buy grace as a substitute but, even if i did, cas' has been waning for a very long time (which i wish had been explored more considering all of the weight the canon puts on having a soul). cas isn't that far removed from donatello who, in his soullessness, turned to mr rogers for behavioral cues. cas holds dean in that role, he's just not especially good at emulating him. or maybe just doesn't understand what it is he should be emulating. all of that to say that i really, truly believe cas wants to feel people feelings (feelings is dean as people is dean as humanity is dean etc etc etc), i'm just not sure if i buy that it's ever more than performance for him.

like fanfic is great, i love fanfic! post s15 fix-its moving further and further away from the "dean pulls his head out of his ass" model is such a gift!! but in actual canon?? ough. cas' very long, very well established patterns make canon destiel a super hard sell for me in a post s15 world. there's no reason to believe that things would ever change because, to the bitter end(?), they never did.

anyway anyway, i'm sorry for using your inbox as a rantbox and i fully understand if you ignore this, i know parts of it might be kind of a powder keg lol it's hard to not be cynical and frustrated by so much squandered potential i suppose, especially when so much of the fandom popular opinions on these things have been just so. bad and wrong. for so long. it's been a relief to see some of those tides turning as more people revisit the source material, though! please just know that i really have enjoyed following along on your rewatch and appreciate how much thought and care you put into understanding this show and these characters. i'm looking forward to seeing where what's left of the journey takes you!

there are some points here i agree with and some i don't, but i can entirely see where you're coming from. i just want to extend some love to you because yeah, sometimes this story is really incredibly frustratingly sad and bleak. also no need to apologize, i love inbox rants <3

i'm publishing this because i think there are a lot of interesting points of discussion about cas and his relationship with dean. blanket statement for anyone who might read it: i am not interested in cas-bashing or anon-bashing. don't do that here. or anywhere, frankly.

to start off: it IS beyond wild that dean lets cas off for some things. breaking sam's wall is the first example that comes to mind. i mean wow, good for dean for being the bigger person and forgiving there, but holy shit.

i'm gonna politely disagree with you on cas treating dean badly. i do see where you're coming from! this is something i've talked about before re: cas actually - that sometimes the way dean treats cas is viewed as poor treatment, but in actuality cas doesn't receive it that way at all. so cas' tendency to put the mission first, for example, is something that dean GETS. dean doesn't feel like cas is neglecting him by doing this. i think there are also circumstances in which cas' actions are understandable, even if i don't like them. and a lot of the "constant apocalypse" problems lead to responses that don't have a real-world equivalent. all that being said, i think one thing cas could fix/address is answering his phone when dean calls him.

on dean doing better - i think people in dean's life could and should treat him better. i also think he loves and cares about those people and would not trade them out, and i respect that.

on cas being better - mixed feelings on this. i totally understand where you're coming from and don't want to invalidate you here or at any point! i think cas is trying to be better. i think he's locked into a pattern where he only sees one option for being better - fixing things / getting wins / sacrificing himself / otherwise protecting dean and sparing dean harm. i feel for him there, i really do. smarter people than me have pointed to heaven brainwashing/upbringing as the reason this pattern exists. so i don't expect him to break out of that pattern, but i do think it's reasonable to wish he had come to recognize that this DOES harm dean. i think cas often believes he knows how dean feels. sometimes he's right, sometimes he's wrong. and in this case while dean can understand why cas is doing what he's doing and respect his decisions enough to not put up a fight about them, it does hurt dean to watch cas walk away into certain danger over and over. it especially hurts when dean has no power in the situation and is left with nothing to do but to hope cas comes back.

so i have actually seen 15x18 and have some feelings about it but i don't want to comment until i see it again. i know i missed a ton of context the first time i watched it (november 6 2020 after not having watched the show in a few years), and i'm interested to see how my interpretation changes!

one opinion i have that i don't think will change: i believe cas' pattern of keeping secrets to protect dean, then having those secrets blow up, causing dean pain and/or causing cas to leave, is not disrupted. i believe 15x18 reinforces this pattern, in fact. and i do not like that. i do appreciate that cas did it for love and he was backed into a horrible corner, and at the same time, from dean's perspective, it's another example of cas leaving.

on cas not seeing dean as an equal partner. hoooo boy, this one gave me pause. i am very conflicted about this, to be honest. i think cas THINKS he sees dean as an equal partner, but i'm not sure he actually does. i'm also not sure he treats him like one. consistently, at least. i think they're equals when they're dealing with "ordinary" problems (monsters, people), but when the problems are angel-level or higher, i think cas thinks he has more ability to solve those problems than dean does. sometimes he's right (cas should be the one talking to michael in 15x08, for example). but not always. and i could see that coming across as patronizing. i want to think more about this one!

on cas' selfishness. this is tough because i think cas is trying to be selfless in a way that comes across as selfish. he wants to be the hero. he believes he can be the hero. he wants to spare others from being the hero. and while that's usually well-intentioned (taking on burdens so others don't have to), it can read as "no one else is capable of this but me." and i think the major problem is that cas looks at things from a 30,000-foot level. he is often less concerned with the ground-level impacts. so when he's, idk, saying yes to lucifer, he's thinking "someone has to and it may as well be me" but he's not thinking "oh shit dean is going to have to watch lucifer parade me around and then kill me." while i understand his reasoning in these high-stakes no-win situations and i'm not mad about it, i do wish he would consider the impacts of his small decisions on others more often. sorry to bring up the phone thing again but it's the best example i've got - it would be nice if cas made it more of a priority to answer his phone when dean calls because it's important to dean, even if it isn't important to cas. it will help dean feel more secure and they will have a nice conversation because they enjoy talking to each other. we have hints of this kind of thing happening but i would like to see it more clearly and consistently. or like. icing sam out during the rupture was pretty shitty. he could have at least texted back. (yes he was in a bad spot, no he doesn't have to respond to sam all the time, but a little 'i'm not dead' text would have made a big difference)

i think "uncharitable but not unfounded" is very understandable. i, personally, believe cas loves and cares about dean. i also could come up with some examples of cas' actions that, regardless of intent, communicate to dean that this is not true. i think if you want to make a case that cas doesn't care, you can. i wouldn't agree with it, and i think there's a better case that cas does care, but i do recognize that the show itself leaves that door open. and it does bother me. i would feel better if cas showed more consistent and obvious care for dean TO dean.

i think cas does confuse/equate feeling guilty with feeling sorry. i think he does both, but sometimes he is playing sorry. i think his defense of jack at the end of s14 contradicts his claims of being sorry, for example. but i'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he is actually sorry most of the other times.

on cas' feelings - i see where you're coming from, and i disagree here. i think cas does have feelings, even if he doesn't always know what they are or how to process them. someone (i think ilarual?) made a cool post about cas growing a soul that i thought was a neat idea. but i can certainly sympathize with wanting the show to do more with angels, grace, angel feelings, etc.

i do believe cas is sincere in his care and in wanting to do better, and that's one reason i have faith in dean and cas being able to work it out and be good for each other! i think that's a major difference between our perspectives. and i don't have an answer here, because again, i see where you're coming from. if you're open to it, i might suggest considering cas' actions from a perspective that he's 100% sincere 100% of the time. it might be interesting to try, even if it doesn't change your opinions at all (and you definitely don't have to try it or change your opinions).

one million billion trillion percent agree on squandered potential. there are so many problems we've discussed here that i think could be fixed with attention and goodwill. but will they be fixed? sigh. i don't know. i like to believe so, but cynicism is also a fair response. i think a lot of my feelings come down to this question: if the show had continued, would 15x18 have been a turning point? would it have finally allowed dean and cas to change their relationship? or would it have set it in stone, never to be changed again? i think it's a matter of interpretation. i tend toward the former - that 15x18 would have changed everything and allowed them space to finally get it right - but i can also see why the latter works, especially because the show ending DID set it in stone that way.

it HAS been a relief to see shifts in conversation, and i hope they continue. and thank you so so much for your very kind words! they are not necessary but they are appreciated :) i often feel like i'm just fumbling around in the dark compared to a lot of others, and it's nice to hear i haven't completely mucked it up. also i really enjoyed answering this, so thanks for giving me so much to chew on!

[danthediamondminecart]

RBBTober Day 1/2 - Roleswap

Hey, it’s day one of that prompt list! Let’s go!

The writing drabble for today is under the cut, and will also be posted on my writing socials (you know the ones)!

What I’m also going to do, is where relevant, I’ll put images of the AU that never got posted here on Tumblr. So I'm not drawing like 3 drawings at once, the drawings made specifically for the prompts will be labelled as such, lol. The Swap AU supplementals are also under the cut, as well as some further discussion on the au!

“Do you truly hate Tanqr?”

Kreek lays back against the chair the interviewer so helpfully provided for him (though it's very uncomfortable). He adjusts his glasses and takes a second to think of a good response.

“Nah. I don’t see why I would. Sure, he's annoying, a little bit of a man child, incredibly braindead at times, loud and overconfident, a little bit too bloodthirsty for me, but I don't hate him, not really. We play it up for the cameras, yknow? He's the only person I think I would've been happy with beating me in RB Battles, even if he likes to boast about it way too much and uses it to get on my nerves half the time. I try to win everything I can, and when I don’t I get annoyed with myself and others, but after he won, I didn’t feel that way. I never have. He's a nice guy, even if he has trouble showing it sometimes, I respect him and I respect his drive to win, his competitiveness, his determination. We're similar in that way.”

“I...see.”

~~~

“Do you truly hate Kreek?”

“Of course not!” That was an instant response. Even with only one visible (the other being covered by an eyepatch), the surprise in Tanqr’s eyes is obvious. “How dare you!”

At the interviewer's mild discomfort, Tanqr settles down and laughs it off.

“I'm just pulling your leg. I'd call us...best buds who like to torment each other a little bit too much. He's so smug about everything and thinks he's better than everyone, he's super smart and charismatic and he knows it, he's aloof and loves to take the mick outta me, but...I can't hate him despite it all. He sucks, but in a way that it's not hard to be his friend once you get over the initial hurdle. Plus...I like the fact he didn't get too upset that I beat him. Any other person and they would've hated me. The fans already hated me, I don’t know if I could have handled anyone else. But not Kreek. I appreciate him for that. What can I say, tryhards stick together!”

"...Got it."

~~~

So, as you can tell, Swap!Kreek & Tanqr are...very different from C!Kreek & Tanqr, because they're actually friends. This actually isn't really a roleswap AU - it's closer to a personality swap AU, but the roles stay the same. Because of that personality swap, Kreek took losing Season 1 a lot better, meaning that his and Tanqr's rivalry never got worse than something friendly and now they're best friends who beat each other up on occasion. But it's very "I'm the only person who can tease him, thanks very much!"

[locking-the-tomb]

Third Read Notes & Soundtrack

I wallowed for about 14 hours after finishing my Nona reread and decided to start over again and write myself some summaries during The Wait.

Gideon the Ninth Chapter 1

In which we learn Gideon is a goob but we love her.

Gideon is escaping. She stole a security cuff key but left the cuff on until the morning of. She's taking her sword, her "shoes" - later called steel toed boots- , and her smut mags. Her clothes are all synthetics. She has enough hair to brush. She knows about chocolates and fancy hotels, somehow ... from mags? From Wake/mom's niche is 22 flights of stairs up to the landing field, which is still at the bottom of a deep tunnel. There are lamps on but they're low. She's kicking apart lumps of "rubble" but that's not further described. She eats porridge from a plastic bag then throws the bag over a rail somewhere. There's a balcony area. Skeletons with red eyes go to pick snow leeks.

There are white castle doors at the bottom, "three bodies wide and six bodies tall". She talks about the figures carved into the area above the doors and remembers screaming as a kid about them creeping her out. I wonder what they are, maybe related to the killed generation? How much trauma from a two year old survivor of all the kids dying?

Muster call (20 Bells) calls back the skeletons.

That's when the Marshall/Crux stomps in to accuse her. Gideon says, "say my shuttle exploded, I died and it was such a shame". 😳 (Crux thinks great idea, will do) Introduces Frontline Titties of the Fifth. He calls her chattel. He wears a big knife over a shoulder.

He gives an impressive number of threats. Gideon wasn't bothered by Crux's threats. But then he invoked Harrow and her "palms prickled". He leaves and Aiglamene enters. Gideon says she's tried to enlist 33 times. Aiglamene has a badly repaired missing leg and a scarred face.

Gideon lists what's happened when she's tried to leave before: jammed in lift, turned off heat frostbite in three toes, poisoned. She clarifies that she's indentured not a slave and claims she's not of fiscal use there. She says she will "you can quote me 'do my duty to the ninth' ". Gideon goes on a rant about "your lady" with a host of great insults, then gets slapped.

"Nobody had ever loved her in the ninth". Aiglamene was the reason she got to have a sword and training. "I'm naturally demeaning". Aiglamene walks away and Gideon falters a bit but sticks.

"Nav was a Niner name". Mentions the prison as a bubble halfway up in the atmosphere. At the end of the chapter we get the limited story of day-old Gideon being in a bio container plugged into the suit of a braindead woman who had fallen in a suit down the shaft 18 years ago. None of the Ninth necromancers could get her ghost to do more than scream Gideon three times then she fled.

"They chipped her, surnamed her, and put her in the nursery". I don't think they mention the chips again, interesting. She was kid #201. Where did the kids come from? Had they been harvesting gametes and growing them? Because the "old" people going into the doors were heavily outnumbered by skeletons. Then two years later it was just her, Harrow (who still hasn't been directly introduced as other then Lady), and Ortus. By 10 she "knew too much and that she could never be allowed to go". Of course. Because that's when Harrow had opened the tomb and her parents had died. She had started trying to escape when she was 4.

Thoughts. What's up with all the plastic? Isn't plastic from petroleum? How would Pluto have petroleum?

[chishigure]

IDK why, but my motivation for writing has just been absolutely low???? Not sure if it's because I've become overwhelmed with writing, or maybe I'm just having a burn out irl and now my anxiety has been all over the place, and depression has started to build up for me again.

Like I want to write again, but everytime I try to work on some drafts, nothing comes out. I'm just braindead, and I don't want to force myself to write because that won't make anything fun for me, plus that would also just make me not want to write anymore if it's just forced.

If I'm writing then it's just dash commentaries or small shenanigans, but overall... I'm not even sure if I'll ever have motivation to write again because I'm just burned out and everything is just so mentally draining for me now, even when I try do to the things that I use to like doing.

Now these days if I'm not at work I'm just playing a simple MMO that I can just vibe in, or I'm laying down and watching TV.

[bratprincesskitten]

The dumb braindead girl slut is asking for r4pe threats in her asks huh?

I wonder if you’re more of a “God I shouldn’t be doing this to you” as I hold you down and force myself into you dry.

My voice cracks as I I open my mouth and say “Yo… you know I care you right?… you can’t tell any of our friends about this okay?” My hand caressing your cheek as you feel the whole length of me slide in and out, your body finally starting to lubricate itself. The friction still slightly burning as you sob wondering why I would do this to you…

Or are you more of a “Fucking take it you dumb bitch! You can fight back but it will only make it worse…” I say as I tear your yoga pants open, not at all how you thought your four block walk home would go…

You feel me turn you around as your body freezes up, your mind racing as you try and process this and press you against the wall, one hand pulling down my pants quickly while the other shoves your face into the rough and cold brick.

Soon I wrap my arm around your neck and choke you as you feel me violate your body, shoving it in as hard as I can “You’re so fucking pathetic… you’re really that turned on??? Or is your body betraying you…”

Hope you like them, been SUPER rusty in writing

-💞

oh my, all of the above and more. rape me in every way possible…

the guilty apologetic way

the “i just can’t help myself around you” way

the malicious intent way

the slow grooming, gaslighting molestation way

the sweet and gentle way that quickly turns very rough

anyway you could think of. violate my body please, while you humiliate me and make me feel embarrassed about how much i’m enjoying it.

make me cum and overstimulate me until i cry. make me moan and beg for more, then beg for you to stop.

all of that… just to blame it all on me after.

[tenmillionpoundsofsludge]

my thought on this current music discourse is that like if youve ever listened to that handsome devil or even fucking cake or why? or talking heads or any ska punk band or even the fucking beatles you’re ready to listen to rap and jazz and other black-founded genres and you can probably start from those musicians’ influences and musicians connected to them if you genuinely dk where to start. you’re ready to try new things like goddamn i don’t listen to a lot of rap (tho I’ve been meaning to listen to more bc i usually like what i hear - i just get hung up on certain genres and flush myself down their hyper-specific toilets for months on end) but its just downright cowardly to refuse to listen to a new song or new music in general and then make up a bunch of excuses for why when people question you about it and you should be wondering what the hell you’re so damn worried about. Sorry i just got off work and i’m like a glass of wine deep so this is probably incomprehensible but regardless i’m flinging myself thru a brick wall bc refusing to try something new or different is how you end up the old codger who calls the cops on teenagers for walking past your house and for tumblr to be full of people claiming to be against that kind of thing youd think they’d be open to trying something different. like i aint all that smart so i can’t do much more than nod when i hear something i agree with but i know what i agree with and it’s not with people who shit on rap (or country for that matter bc bobbie gentry fuckin slaps and a lot of country music hate is based in classism in a similar way to nascar hate) ok i’m done now tldr if you write off a whole genre of music bc of your preconceived notions you’re a coward

I LITERALLY AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU'RE SAYING. As a big music fan I think you are actively hurting yourself by not broadening your horizons and like not listening to the stuff that inspired what you already like to listen to!!!! I started listening really heavily to jazz because black midi credited a lot of jazz as musical influences and I was like shit! I need to listen to some of this! And there are so many guides online for getting into music and how to navigate genres and even if it's not for "your personal tastes" you can still...idk, respect it? Acknowledge it's importance?

One thing I always tell goths who want to expand their horizons and listen to more goth music is to listen to screamin' jay Hawkins because without him we wouldn't have goth as a genre, and even if you don't like it you can appreciate the history and the art and his fucking SHOWMANSHIP. Which I think is a bigger issue is even if you don't like a genre of music which is braindead in of itself, you can still appreciate it for what it is and how it influences a lot of the stuff you enjoy! So many genres of music would literally be NOTHING without the black pioneers who founded and refined the genres and they deserve the respect of recognition at the very least

Sorry this is also very ramble-y I am very passionate about music lol

[lillambiespasture]

hi this is some fanfic I was writing for myself and never planned to post ever but in the dead of night I rewrote the entire first part so you guys get to have it!! it also makes no sense btw bcz it was meant for only my eyes B)

The City of Townsville. Even squeaky clean utopias like itself have grimey underbellies. Kept out of the good citizens' way. Confined to one small point in the giant metropolis. Just big enough that people know to steer clear. Even villains like the Gangreen Gang stayed away, unless they were chasing trouble.

So seeing the wimpiest Gangreen dragging his raggedy converse through the unkempt streets all alone was strange to say the least. If you asked Snake however? He wasn’t Gangreen at that moment— just another no one who wanted to be alone. And alone he was, the rest of the gang was who knows where while he was here.

Here. Snake wasn’t that braindead, he knew walking around this part of Townsville was just begging for something bad. He learned that the hard way. But if he kept his head down and weaved around anyone bold enough to be here he’d be fine. That's exactly what he did. The brown ash-stained hoodie he had on kept his face from view. His long greasy curtain of hair definitely helped him stay hidden. Although the occasional catcalls he got were annoying.

Why was he even here? Why was it that times like this, when he found himself so alone his feet always seemed to carry him through here? Maybe it was because he fit in so well with the other rejects. Sirens somewhere in the distance caught his attention. Or maybe it was ‘cause cops wouldn’t see him smoking. Not that he really cared. But he’d be damned if he lost another pack of smokes.

He took a deep drag of his cancer stick. It was almost to the filter. A distant memory of how his first time smoking went tugged itself to the front of his mind. Snake smiled at the bitter memory. He sighed, it was getting dark. The lanky gangreen decided to start his walk back to the dump. It was a long walk from Townsville to its local dump and just so much longer from the bad side of Townsville to the dump. By the time Snake walked through the open barbed wire gates the moon was high in the sky.

‘Wonder if I’ll be the last one there’ He lit his third cigarette, convincing himself it was needed. ‘Or if that powerpuke is even gone yet’

Snakes feet dragged as if they were weighing him down. Showing up while the girl was still at their hideout would make Ace so mad. Not to mention the little girl herself. He shuddered in disgust but kept walking.

It wasn’t long before he saw The Gangreen Gangs shack— it was all lit up inside. He saw the silhouette of a small figure with short hair immediately.

“Damnit.” Snake couldn’t go in there. If not for the ass kicking he’d surely get then for the fact he’d lose his lunch.

There wasn’t really anyplace else for him to go. Back into the city seemed overkill. Further into the dump seemed like a bad idea.

Snake took in his surroundings— the piles of trash near the shack. Nearby was a car half buried under other junk he found a few days ago. That's where he’d wait. Skillfully he navigated around all the crap surrounding him. Truly the rusty blue car wasn’t far from the shack at all. Its door swung open with a creak as he climbed into the somewhat comfortable front seat.

His thin hands rested atop the cars’ steering wheel, all he had to do was wait.

‘Maybess I can hotwire thiss hunk of junk..’ He felt like it would be relatively easy— then again what did he need a car for?

The gangster tipped his head back. His eyes fell onto the scenery outside. Or more specifically the sky, it was a clear night and a few stars even dotted the inky blackness. It was pretty for a cities nighttime skyscape. His eyes fell down to his hands. He flicked the filter of his cancer stick away. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew the smell was all over him. Cold night air blew in from the window. Chilling the boy even through his hoodie. He rubbed his hands together in hopes of getting even slightly warmer. Maybe a beating would be better than freezing his ass off.

Just as he thought of leaving he saw a trail of green shoot through the air, fading quick as it came. The girl was gone. Snake however lingered in his spot. Knowing he would in fact be the first one back was daunting.

The walk back was shorter. Time warped and forced him right onto the sagging wooden porch.

Smoke Break (chapt 2)

Nope. Being alone with Ace? The guy beats him to a pulp when people are around. When they’re alone? It’s been a long time since it happened last, Snake vaguely remembers a lot of drinking. And his lips holding a purplish hue when he wiped the lipstick away.

He lit another cigarette, keeping the flame lit longer than he needed, watching light dance across his hands until it was too hot and he flicked it off. The gangster found himself leaning against wobbling wooden rails. It was still cold as balls and it looked like rain. If it snowed he was royally screwed. What to do? There wasn’t a right answer. Not when both choices would end up with him riddled with regret.

[airlock]

so I found myself thinking about Byleth

I should make myself clear: Byleth is not a character that I find interesting or compelling. thing is, though? the more I think about it, the more I realize that there's a point of view from which to argue... that making Byleth a boring character was a feat. an accomplishment in shitty writing that defies the sheer potential of the premise.

I'll start rambling under the cut

let's get one thing out of the way promptly: I am not, whatsoever, referring to the way that Byleth's Mute Protagonist Syndrome is diegetic and woven into, even justified by, the plot. this is not a new thing that Three Houses did. it is, in fact, an observable and increasingly common tendency in games these days, because audiences still generally like their silent protagonists, but not if they don't have some spark of actual character somewhere to distinguish them from the myriad other silent protagonists that the medium is peppered to the gills with. this is even, in fact, one of the things that draws comparisons to/accusations of bandwagonry of Persona 5, whose Joker is as silent his two predecessors in the series, but absolutely oozes personality through motion alone -- and is, multiple times in the story, described by others as quiet, but determined.

but if this isn't the part of Byleth's character that I'm referring to, then, well... what's left? but again: what I'm increasingly finding mystifying is the empty space that ended up where something more substantial would very easily have been. and it starts with this: Byleth is a teacher.

we never thought much of this idea, did we? the premise of Three Houses is that this is Fire Emblem, but (partially) in a school setting. obviously, if you're going to be inserted into that story in the role of strategical leader, a la Robin; if you're going to have mechanics that turn this school setting into the ultimate unit customization gameplay -- then making the player insert character a teacher is such an obvious idea, it borders on braindead, right.

well... is it actually that obvious?

there's an endlessly immense amount of media that takes place in a school setting -- but very little of that media is about school. which makes sense. school is, famously, not interesting. school is something that the primary target audience for media with school setting is actually looking for an escape from. school settings are relatable, but relatability without adventure is, what -- a sitcom? not even that. even mundane, slice-of-life stories draw their adventure from somewhere -- but studying for midterms is not an adventure that can trivially be rendered exciting to watch.

(in fact, even if we once again look at FE16's ostensible inspiration in Persona 5, we're not really looking at a school story. the first arc of Persona 5 is about school; after that, though, the plot's scope expands, and school becomes a small appendage of the game. Joker stops attending school altogether in the final arc (as he goes into hiding), and the only difference it makes is the removal of three minuscule and intermittent mechanics -- of which one is the commute.)

all of this is to say -- despite all of the school settings, how many modern stories do you know, where the main character is a teacher?

I'm not saying there are none, but I'm just saying, I can only think of three off the top of my head, and I never actually watched the other two.

makes sense, after all -- teachers are almost invariably satellite characters. if the story is absolutely only using school as set dressing, it will make the teachers uncomplicated and competent, the sort of person you can imagine putting in charge of children without scratching your head, barring maybe one funny quirky to prevent them from being completely boring. if the story does want to dig its fingers into the school life somewhat, then the natural move is to take a look into when relations between students and teachers are tense, whether it be because the teacher is in fact a cartoon villain, or because the teacher is not readily well-liked but has hidden depths. in every piece of this equation, though, the teacher is an Adult as seen from afar, and not the Human who must embody this Adult in spite of all the adversity.

Byleth, of all people, is put in the unique position of embodying that struggle. and that's not a peculiar reading of the text or a fanonical backfill; it's something that the game actually tries to pitch as a conflict, for a brief lull.

say we forget for a moment that Byleth is Byleth, and picture this: a story about a young manwomanthing, given work as a teacher because of the, let's call her that for simplicity, headmaster's ulterior motives. work that our womanmanthing keeps being told they can do just fine, because they have a relevant skill that they've honed and could instruct the students in -- but they're sheltered and inexperienced in much outside of that one skill, so being a guide to others is not something they ever imagined themself doing. as the days go by, though, they take to the role with a natural affinity, finding it even to be something of a true calling; indeed, the longer they put in the work, the more alive they feel. by teaching others, they become enlightened.

how did intsys manage to make that story suck?