#I wore the same pair of adiais sneakers I got secondhand from Salvation Army

[just-rogi]

Is there a word to describe the feeling of eldest children born in like 1998-2003 who’s childhoods are just marked by the housing crisis and the depression and always being broke and parents who were always struggling to get by, who never went on vacation and never got nice clothes or new toys or are out… who have siblings five or six years younger who don’t really remember any of that,

and now things aren’t as bad and they got all the toys you wanted and the vacations and the parents who were able to say yes to getting takeout or buying a comic book, not because they are the favorite but because life is different and things are better now?

Because I’m not mad at my parents, I’m not mad at my brother, and I’m glad things are better, but fuck I feel like I lost so much of my childhood to being really really broke, and things are ok now but I still want parts of my childhood back, i wish mom would buy me comic books and toys and yeah I’m in my 20’s and it’s ok I’ll live with never having any of that or I’ll buy it for myself, but watching my step brother pick out prom clothes that ARENT from Salvation Army for $20….

It’s just making me feel something I didn’t know I felt- I don’t hold it against him or my mom, but I want that too even though I’m grown I want to at least be offered that