#I won every time btw

[lucid9158]

I was taught how to play Texas Hold’em today and I think it may be the beginning of a serious gambling addiction

[mobius-m-mobius]

Lokius in Loki 2x03 - "1893"

[devilsrecreation]

The Hunger Games: Misunderstood Animals Edition

Welcome to The Hunger Games: The Misunderstood Animal Edition! In this rendition, the government (*cough*Professor Marmalade*cough*) has organized a competition consisting of animals deemed “misunderstood” by media from various cartoons. The Districts are as follows:

We got Sir Hiss and the Sheriff of Nottingham from Disney’s Robin Hood, The Bad (now Good) Guys + Diane, The Diabolical Order of Mayhem (districts 5 and 6) as well as The Chameleon and Bird Brain from TUFF Puppy, the main gang from Back to the Outback, and of course, some of the Outlanders from TLG

The good guys, bad guys, and bad guys turned good guys, have all fought well! So here are some highlights from all 3 rounds

(Some of this is OOC so brace yourselves)

Round 1:

Right off the bat, Janja kills Larry (oof)

Mr. Snake and the Sheriff of Nottingham fight for a bag but Snake gives up

Frank breaks Francisco’s nose for a basket of bread (idk how cuz Frank is a spider but damn-)

Jasiri steals from Zoe (rude)

Diane, Bird Brain, Snaptrap, and Francisco are all pricked by thorns while picking berries (I wonder if they all did it at the same time, that’d be funny)

Snaptrap spears the Sheriff in the abdomen

Diane falls on Bird Brain cuz she tried to climb a tree and they both die. Same with Mr. Snake and Ollie

Sir Hiss stabs Mr. Wolf to death with sais

Kiburi running away from Frank (he also does this in round 3 and it’s actually kinda funny)

Mr. Piranha, Janja, The Chameleon, and Zoe raid Maddie's camp while she is hunting

Miss Tarantula fends Reirei, Janja, and Jasiri away from her fire (I’m impressed!)

Sir Hiss tends to Frank's wounds.

Mr. Piranha crying himself to sleep cuz he and Shark are the only ones left now :( (Miss T fell into a pit)

Reirei sprains her ankle while running away from Nigel. Same with Snaptrap and Francisco

An arena event:

Honestly, I can see Kiburi doing that! No way in hell he’s dying without taking someone with him!

Also Snaptrap probably lives cuz he followed the survivors lol

Maddie convinces Nigel to snuggle with her cuz Zoe and Frank both died :(

During the feast: Snaptrap kills Mzingo, Nigel stabs Sir Hiss with sais, and Maddie fell into a frozen lake :(

Janja taints Snaptrap's food, killing him and then shoots an arrow into Nigel’s head

Janja wins Round 1

Round 2:

Bird Brain is unable to convince Maddie to not kill him (OKAY IN HER DEFENSE SHE PROBABLY DIDN’T REALIZE BIRD BRAIN WAS A TRIBUTE AND NOT FOOD)

The Chameleon rips a mace out of Francisco's hands (lmao he probably WAS the mace)

Mr. Wolf and Kiburi work together for the day…interesting combo

Snaptrap surprisingly keeping the Chameleon alive

Mr. Piranha convinces Frank to not kill him, only to kill him instead (lmao he would. Pretty easy since Frank is a spider)

Francisco defeats Ollie in a fight, but spares his life. (Ofc ya’ll are besties)

Zoe letting Mr. Piranha into her shelter (after he killed your friend?)

Jasiri and Mr. Snake bonding while Reirei bonds with reptiles (Maddie, The Chameleon, and Kiburi)

The Chameleon and Mr. Wolf fight Larry and Nigel. Larry and Nigel survive

Ollie attacks Mzingo, but Sheriff of Nottingham protects him, killing Ollie

Both of these happened in Night 2 btw

It says Maddie sprains her ankle while running (slithering) from Kiburi but she doesn’t have feet so….maybe she sprains her tail?

Larry, Zoe, Sir Hiss, and Mr. Snake track down and kill Diane

Mr. Shark's trap kills Francisco.

Zoe poisons Miss Tarantula's drink, but mistakes it for her own and dies.

Mzingo and Nigel track down and kill Reirei while everybody else is sleeping

Mr. Shark runs away from Sheriff of Nottingham

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE MY MONEY!!!”

Snaptrap attempts to climb a tree, but falls on Miss Tarantula, killing them both

Mr. Snake convinces Nigel to not kill him, only to kill him instead

Janja steals from Sir Hiss while he isn't looking

Kiburi tends to Maddie's wounds (aww) and Jasiri stabs Larry with a tree branch (oof)

Maddie catches Janja off guard and kills him

The Feast

JESUS CHRIST

How do you like that? A fish kills a snake and a snake kills a fish

Mr. Shark and Jasiri bond while Hiss and Maddie bond

While Maddie lets Hiss into her shelter, Jasiri kills Mr. Shark (Ya’ were friends a day ago what happened?!)

Day 10: Maddie dies from hypothermia, Hiss dies trying to escape, and Kiburi stabs Jasiri

Kiburi wins!

Round 3:

Mwoga throws a knife into Sir Hiss's chest.

Jasiri and Snaptrap are going fishing ig??

Francisco tends to Diane's wounds (sweet gator boy :3)

Mwoga, Francisco, and Mr. Snake unsuccessfully ambush Maddie, Sheriff of Nottingham, and Mr. Shark, who kill them instead (WHAT IS WITH SNAKE AND SHARK HAVING BEEF?!)

Frank bashes Diane's head in with a mace (HOW???)

Snaptrap overpowers The Chameleon, killing him (okay THAT I believe)

Instead of a volcano, it’s a tsunami this time!

Holy shit 😭

Kiburi throws a knife into Frank's chest.

Mr. Shark forces Sheriff of Nottingham to kill Mr. Piranha or Janja. He decides to kill Janja

Reirei overpowers Sheriff of Nottingham, killing him while Jasiri throws a knife into Mzingo’s head

Reirei sets an explosive off, killing Jasiri, Mr. Shark, and Mr. Piranha.

Reirei wins!

Congratulations to the Misfit Musketeers!

[elecman108]

If there is anything that makes me wanna say "I called it" on, it's the characterization of the Daycare Attendant (Sun specifically) in Help Wanted 2. My version of Sun's personality is almost exactly like the Sun in HW2, and I made him after playing Security Breach (the only difference being he cusses and that Moon is more chill).

I deadass looked at this cheerful weirdo we barely got to see in that game and went "he is both the only adult serving cunt and the most friendly guy to ONLY children out there". And now that's CANON. He is the exact opposite of that one meme image that has "fuck them kids" on it. Sun says "fuck them adults" lmao.

[lamortwrites]

Coworker and I keep going for our breaks at almost the same time and both of us like sitting down the same end of the tearoom and ofc it's weird to sit right next to each other when you're the only two people in the entire room and it's starting to feel a little like a competition

[skitskatdacat63]

The one might be the best one ive made yet 😭😭

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

luigi mangione, 12/04/24

diversity win! im bisexual and im going to kill you!

[dreamieparadise]

Me yapping when my flu riddled ass should be reworking the assignment...

[arolesbianism]

I have been playing beastieball and first of all very good game second of all smth smth Olivia Broussard

[lizardho]

I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.

By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.

At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.

I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).

I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.

I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).

I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)

I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.

I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.

A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.

After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.

I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.

On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.

Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕

[lewsedici]

next top wag | oscar piastri x fem! footballer! reader

summary; in the world of formula one where wag culture is a big thing, everyone can agree that oscar piastri is the best one

fc; mallory swanson ( my girllll )

warnings; none (?)

note; uswnt/woso x f1 is my niche anyways plz ignore the dates on the tweets LMAOOAMZLS

masterlist !

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; one last date night w this grand prix winner before the olympics 🙁🤍] [caption 2; bonjourrrrr, parisss]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

liked by oscarpiastri, trinity_rodman, and others !

yourusername: 3 for 3 in the group stages ! onto the quarterfinals!

oscarpiastri: wow

oscarpiastri: my gorgeous beautiful amazing talented goal scoring machine 😍

yourusername: osccccc🫶

username: OSCAR WAG!!!

username: all he does is drive n obsess over his talented football gf i love him😞

trinity_rodman: LETS GOO!! *liked by yourusername*

username: road to gold!!🙂‍↕️

username: these olympics have been so fun so far 😭🙏

username: Y/NNNNN!!!

sophsssmith: 3 for 3 meaning 3 goals in 3 matches 🤭

yourusername: what can i say😁

username: come to arsenal plz❤️

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

oscarpiastri uploaded to his story !

[caption 1; bonjour?] [caption 2; when bae is basically an olympic medalist already]

yourusername OSCAR JACK PIASTRIIIIII

yourusername I HATE U😭����😭😭

oscarpiastri uhmmm if u didn’t knock australia out of group stages we’d be having a different conversation 🥱

yourusername girl bye 😭

yourusername be proud of ur gf🙄🙄

oscarpiastri who says i’m not 🙄

oscarpiastri go back to training u have a gold medal to win tmrw

yourusername i’ll win it for u my wag😘😘

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

liked by oscarpiastri, sophsssmith, and others !

yourusername: a tough few weeks but it was all worth it to win gold with my girls 🥇

sophsssmith: girl YOUU won us gold 😫

oscarpiastri: she’s so talented right ☺️☺️

trinity_rodman: y/n come get your man 😭

oscarpiastri: yeah i’m her man😁

yourusername: guys i’m trying my best here but he already messages the every mclaren worker abt the gold medal😭

username: literally SCREAMED when y/n scored in the final😫

username: USA USA USA

username: STRUT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!!🐆

lavellerose: queen 👑 *liked by yourusername!*

username: yall see trinity’s comment abt oscar 😭😭

username: he’s such a simp i’m in tears 😭

landonorris: wow super cool y/n

yourusername: cooler than u

oscarpiastri: now that is a fact 😁

landonorris: ???????

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and others !

oscarpiastri: a few weeks ago, you were in hungary to witness for my first win and now, i’m in paris after witnessing you scoring in the final to win gold, so unbelievably proud of my best girl❤️ i love you, my gold medalist 🥇

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: OSCAR JACK PIASTRIIIII

yourusername: I LOVE U MY HUNGARIAN GP WINNER😭❤️‍🩹

oscarpiastri: she loves me guys omg

landonorris: i can hear him giggling from here

oscarpiastri: you’re just jealous🥱

yourusername: guys plz

georgerussell63: oscar is in his wag era 💅

yourusername: call him next top wag

oscarpiastri: i think me willingly wearing 2 american flags, a cowboy hat, your jersey, and paining red white and blue lines on my face makes me the best wag🥱🥱

landonorris: begging you y/n please tell me you have a picture 😭

yourusername: I GOT YALLLLL

charles_leclerc: congratulations, y/n!!!

yourusername: merciiiii!

username: if u listen closely u can hear me sobbing 😞

username: oscar is dating the most gorgeous girl omg

username: ME AND WHOOOOO💔

username: they are so cute 🙁

lewishamilton: congratulations y/n on gold!🥇

yourusername: thank u lewisss🫶

oscarpiastri: did i mention i was there

alex_albon: yes plenty of times in the groupchat ( btw congrats y/n too! )

maxverstappen1: yeah he threatened crashing into all of us if we didn’t congratulate you yourusername

yourusername: ????? oscarpiastri explain ??

oscarpiastri: no thank you

[lewisvinga]

get his ass ! | lando norris/the grid x fem! reader

summary: y/n was loved among the grid, quickly gaining the title of ‘the mother of the grid’ due to her motherly nature. but when a famous football player says he’d like to take her on a date in an interview, the boys are quick to defend her.

fc; maria isabel

warnings; kinda suggestive pics , curse words

notes; requested! this came later than expected lol, been super tired after a long road trip and was out all day w poor connection😩🥲 don’t mind my lil football reference 🤭🤭 also second pic of the interview was meant to say pretty at the end but it was called off lol😞

masterlist !

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 940,038 others!

yourusername: pov: single mother after a day full of chasing and taking care of her 5 grown children on the paddock

tagged; landonorris, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, logansargeant, georgerussell63

username: MOTHER IS BACK ON THE PADDOCK

username: i want u fr

landonorris: ‘single mother’ who am i then?😕

yourusername: a grown child who asks me to ‘pretty please’ wipe the grease off of his pizza😁

landonorris: it was disgustingly greasy…🤢

username: LMFAOOAOAO

username: a single mom who works 2 jobs who loves her kids

yourusername: they get on my nerves all the time but i love my grown children 💓

logansargeant: sorry mom

yourusername: you and osc are an exception

alex_albon: oh, wow!

oscarpiastri: 😁

georgerussell63: you trying to say something, y/n….

yourusername: yeah give me carmen

carmenmmundt: i agree!

georgerussell63: wait-

username: you need to open a youtube channel!

username: your fit on the paddock ate today 😩

username: the picture of alex and logan w the snake 😭😭😭😭

username: can always count on y/n for content

yourusername posted to their story!

[caption 1; baby’s nap time 😴] [caption 2; taking my sons out for lunch 🫶🫶] [caption 3; my new child, surprise! it’s a boy!💙]

Jude Bellingham answers your fan questions!

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,503,028 others!

landonorris: all mine.

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: lando norris…. i thought you’d post this on your jpg account…

landonorris: nope😁

yourusername: could’ve been worse thank u

yourusername: all yours. forever. 🫶

landonorris: always.

username: so y’all saw jude’s interview too…

username: caption was 100% aimed a jude

alex_albon: can i tag him pls

yourusername: no.

landonorris: yes!

yourusername: no or i won’t take you to get kbbq tmrw

alex_albon: sorry lando

username: alex’s comment😭

username: oh wow

username: the 2nd, 4th, n last pic🥴🥴🥴🥴

username: their relationship isn’t a want it’s a NEED

logansargeant: oh!

yourusername: look away pls😞😔

landonorris: no keep looking so you and every other athlete knows she’s mine 😁

username: jealous lando omg 😵‍💫😵‍💫

maxverstappen1: take that tap in merchant!

carlossainz55: yeah and he won against you guys! put some respect on his name 🙄

yourusername: my football rivalry sons…

landonorris: no i agree w max

username: not the culers and merengues of f1 fighting 😭😭

georgerussell63: my eyes!😰😰😰😰

georgerussell63: but that serves him right! y/n is a taken lady!

username: red is HER color, no one can wear read

username: the fit is everything 😍😍

username: need someone to recreate the last pic w 😖😖😣😣

oscarpiastri: i really had to stop lando from posting more exposing pictures, you’re welcome btw mother

landonorris: i had plenty of other ones to choose from…

yourusername: thank u osc😭

[kingkonoha]

♡ — SUMMARY: gojo wants to secretly hook up with you although you’re his rival, as well as a teacher and sorcerer from the sister-school in kyoto.

♡ — CONTENT: 18+ only || mdni — smut, outdoor, fingering, stroking, bickering, oral m! receiving, & fluff.

♡ — WC: 2.3K

♡ — A/N: I would let this man rob me btw (:

“If we’re going to fuck, we better do it now.”

“Hush, Satoru! That’s not appropriate.”

“And why not?” 

Satoru’s lips were pressed against your ear as he spoke. Those large hands of his — which were previously in his pocket — snaked around your body, and he grabbed your ass with little care regarding who might have seen him.

“I know you want to. Don’t we always fuck before the exchange event? Why so shy this year?”

Slowly, the white-haired man trailed his lips down your neck, leaving soft, gentle kisses.

“Because,” you mumbled. “I think it’s bad luck. My school’s competing against yours. Our students are gonna fight each other, and yet, their teachers have the nerve to fuck in secret? It’s disgraceful.”

A smile spread across Satoru’s gorgeous face, and he simply ignored your words.

After all, you said the same thing every year; you would go on and on about how much trouble you both could get into with the higher-ups for engaging in sexual activities with one another. 

You were both honorable teachers, both from different schools — you worked at the sister-school in Kyoto, whereas Satoru worked for the school in Tokyo. 

Not only that, but you were both in an unofficial competition with each other. Not only were you both hoping for your students to win each year, but you wanted to outdo each other as well. 

Strength meant nothing in the hands of someone irresponsible and lazy — that was your belief, at least. 

And Satoru believed that being too responsible and overworked was no way to live.

So, all year long, you’d keep track of how well your students were doing, how many curses you both exercised, and who attended the most meetings — and who showed up on time. 

But, eventually, competing against your natural-born rival started to become a bore. 

That was when the fucking started.

Whenever the exchange event rolled around annually, you and Satoru would find a secluded place on campus to be together before the event officially started. 

You only saw each other once a year, too. No more, no less.

Just one little hookup in a random storage closet — or bathroom, or empty classroom — and never again until next year.

And, like clockwork, pitiful whines and groans would fall from your lips as you’d ramble about how wrong it was, and yet, an hour later, you’d be the one riding his dick and begging for more.

“Hush, and let’s go already. We only get to do this once a year, so quit wasting time,” Satoru pressed a kiss against your jaw. “Are you being so whiny because my students won last year? Is that it? And you think it’s because you let me cum inside of-”

“Satoru!” Your eyes widened a bit as you interrupted his filthy words. “Someone’s gonna hear you, and then we’ll both-”

Suddenly, Satoru covered your mouth with his hand.

“Shut up,” he said playfully. 

Once again, Satoru’s lips returned to the sweet skin on your neck, and he started to softly suck, moaning as he did so. 

His tongue graced a sensitive spot right below your jaw. When he focused his attention right there, sucking in one spot instead of trailing his mouth up and down the length of your neck, you couldn’t help but moan. 

It was muffled thanks to his hand, of course, but even so, feeling your warm breath against his hand made him suck even harder until a hickey formed — one you’d complain about trying to hide later on. 

Satoru’s other hand started to play with the button on your pants. He didn’t care if you were both outside, standing underneath a tree, risking your careers and reputations.

First, he played with the top of your underwear, refusing to lower his hand to the spot where you really needed him. 

You groaned in frustration.

With a cocky smile, Satoru removed his hand from your mouth and said, “Something wrong?”

“We don’t have time for you to tease me like this. If you’re going to do something, get on with it already.” 

“Really? Now you wanna rush me?” He started to dip his fingers into your underwear. “I don’t think a needy brat like you has the right to order me around. I’ll listen to you when your curse kill count is as high as mine. Until then, I’m gonna do whatever I want with you whenever I want to.”

You wanted to snap at him, toss out some sort of witty remark, but as soon as Satoru spoke those aggravating words, his long fingers suddenly — or, rather, finally —  made their way to your awaiting clit.

He held your pussy lips open with his fingers, and slowly, he drew circles around your sensitive button. 

Moaning softly, you gripped his arm. He couldn’t help but smash his lips against yours. You were just too cute. 

He increased the speed at which he rubbed your clit. Your moans grew louder even though they were muffled by Satoru’s tongue swirling around yours.

The white-haired man pulled away with a soft moan falling from between his buttery lips.

“Tell me,” he paused. “Do you think you’ll be exiled from the jujutsu sorcerer society if they catch us?”

“Of course, I will,” you frowned. “And you will too.”

“Probably, but that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” Satoru gripped your hair and pressed his lips against your ear. “I can take care of you, sweetheart. I doubt the higher-ups will miss having a weak sorcerer like you around anyway.”

“Go to hell.”

Satoru laughed a bit. He softly licked your ear, and the little noise that erupted from your throat made his heart skip a beat.

He was well aware that he was falling in love with you; there was nothing he could do about it.

“I’m just messing around, calm down,” he said.

“You’re being rude,” your frown deepened, and Satoru kissed your cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he dragged his fingers from your clit to your hole. “Let me make it up to you, okay?”

Slowly, he pushed two fingers in. The loud, unholy moan he elicited from you made you cover your mouth with your own hand and glance around in search of any prying eyes.

“Relax. No one’s around, I promise.” Satoru tried to sound calm and collected, but truth be told, your juices were soaking his fingers as he pumped them in and out of you.

Your uncontrollable moans made his dick harden against the fabric of his pants.

You were driving him crazy.

He pressed his clothed cock against your body, needing to feel something — anything — and he started to grind against your side.

It was funny. How desperate he was to fuck you. Touch your body in any sort of way.

And yet, he also wanted more.

Not in terms of you riding his cock or letting him lick at your clit — all of which he enjoyed, of course — but he also desired other things as well.

Some nights, after stroking his cock underneath his bedsheets as he thought about your annual hookup, he’d roll over onto his side, lay his head against his pillow, and daydream about what it would be like to go on a little date with you to a local coffee shop, and sip on lattes and cappuccinos while complaining about the stale pastries and getting to know each other.

Or, as he drifted off to sleep, he’d think about going to watch that brand new movie hitting the theaters that weekend with you. Two sodas. One bucket of popcorn to be shared. He’d let you hold it and cover it with as much salty butter as you wanted.  

He thought about all the other things too. Not your curse kill count or the rankings of your students, but what your favorite color might have been, or if you liked to shower at night or in the morning. If you enjoyed the rain. What career path you would have taken if curses didn’t exist. 

He wanted to know it all, but he couldn’t. 

Because those details were only shared between lovers, not rivals with benefits.

“Wait,” you suddenly said. 

Sliding your hand in between your bodies, you cupped Gojo’s dick through his pants, and slowly, you rubbed your fingers and palm over his bulge.

“Shit,” he groaned softly.

Satoru increased his fingering speed, curling those long fingers of his just right. 

You put your hand down his pants.

Feeling your soft fingertips against his actual dick made Satoru gasp in pleasure, and when you started to stroke him — god, was he ready to cum into his own pants.

“We’re having a little competition right now, huh? See who cums first?” Satoru said breathlessly.

“Not . . . fair,” you paused, as his fingering technique was starting to take away your ability to think properly enough to form coherent sentences. You could only think about cumming all over his fingers. “You had a head start.”

“Speaking of head,” Satoru paused — he could hardly catch his breath. “If I win and I make you cum first, how about you get on your knees for me and suck my cock?”

Naturally, if you won, he’d eat you out until his mouth and tongue would never forget the taste of you, but truth be told, you were both winning either way.

At this point, you could barely focus on what the man was saying. No words fell from between your lips, only soft moans.

The rhythm in which you stroked Satoru’s cock had started to grow sloppy, while your thighs had begun to shake.

“Damn it, I’m-” you were interrupted by Satoru kissing you once again.

He couldn’t explain it, but he loved having his tongue down your throat whenever you’d cum, giving himself the privilege of swallowing every single beautiful noise you made.

Satoru fingered you roughly and deliciously as you moaned into his mouth. As you came all over his hand, he sucked on your tongue before pulling away.

Pulling his fingers out of you, Satoru raised his soaked hand to his mouth and licked them off.

“That’s nasty,” you glanced away shyly. 

“You just don’t know how good you taste,” he started to pull down his pants. “I’m kinda sad that I won because your pussy is just fucking delicious. Now get on your knees.”

You lowered yourself onto the grass. As Satoru gripped your head and started to thrust in and out of your warm mouth, he tossed his head back, moaning.

He wanted to fuck your throat for hours and hours, cum into your mouth repeatedly until his body was incapable of producing anymore. Then, he would eat your pussy for as long as he could before fucking you in every position he could think of. 

That’s what he wanted. 

But he couldn’t.

You were both already running late. Everyone else must have been waiting in the spectating room for you both to arrive. 

With that knowledge, he bucked his hips wildly, chasing his own release as soon as possible.

“I’m gonna cum, baby,” He moaned. “Swallow all of it for me . . . every last drop.”

His heavy load sprayed down your throat as if it belonged there, and the sound of Satoru’s lovely moans eased any difficulty you might have had with swallowing it all. To hear him make those noises, even if he was your rival, made you also wish that you could stay on your knees and suck his cock for hours.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and he pulled his dick out of your mouth and helped you onto your feet.

“I’m afraid that’s all the time we have this year,” you said, wiping off your lips with the back of your hand. “It’s been fun.”

You gave him a pleasant smile, signaling your goodbye, and turned away, getting ready to head to the spectating room and watch the exchange event.

Satoru would surely join you in a few minutes — arriving separately would ease any suspicions — and afterward, you’d both pretend that your relationship amounted to nothing except professional, friendly competition.

Satoru suddenly wrapped his hand around your wrist, halting your footsteps.

“Wait,” he said. His tone was rather serious.

You turned around, looking into his eyes, and staring back at you was a look of complete nervousness; it was an expression that you had never seen grace Satoru’s face.

“What’s wrong?” You questioned. “We’re going to be late.”

“I was just thinking . . .” His eyes flicked down to his feet, then back up at you. His cheeks were turning pink. 

At that moment, you realized that despite his outrageously big ego, handsome appearance, incredible power, and sinful dirty talk, Satoru Gojo was shy. 

“There’s no reason why we should only see each other once a year.”

“Hm?” You raised your eyebrows. “You wanna hook up more often than that? Won’t that raise the risk of getting caught?”

“Yes-well, no . . . I mean, I don’t really care what we do, I just wanna see you.” Satoru paused. “There’s no written rule that says two teachers from the sister schools can’t date or hook up. Maybe we’d get in trouble for doing it during the exchange event, but if we went to the cafe down the street together around noon this Saturday, I think it’ll be fine.”

“You want to go out with me?” You gave him a look of surprise, but then, the corners of your lips fell into a frown as you furrowed your brows. “This isn’t a prank, is it?”

“No, not a prank. I’m being serious.”

You slowly started to smile. At the sight of your pretty grin, Satoru smiled as well.

“I’d love to,” you said.

Satoru’s heart skipped a beat. His grin widened as he cleared his throat, attempting to keep his cool and failing miserably.

“Okay . . . okay, great. Well . . . you better start heading back. I’ll come in after you.”

With a nod, you walked off. 

Satoru fell back against the nearby tree, pressing his hand to his head as his heart pounded and fluttered. 

Nothing could wipe that grin off of his face, nor wash away that rose pink color decorating his cheeks.

[classjezter]

Y'know, everyone's talking to Baby OP and giving him illicit treats, but how's everyone else managing? We saw all the initial reactions, and know about their dynamics with sparkling Optimus, but how are they holding up? Optimus becoming a baby during wartime is probably rough for having to shift responsibilities on top of hiding and taking care of a tiny child. They could probably all use some goodies too

Hi! I like you videos btw :) as to your question:

The Autobots are stretched thin. They were already in a full-scale war before and now they have a troublemaking sparkling to take care of. To manage both their duties and taking care of baby Optimus, they take shifts watching him (takes a village to raise a child put literally). There’s always at least one Autobot on ‘Optimus duty’ while the rest keep up with patrols, defenses, and battle strategy.

More about every specific bot below cut cause this got a bit long

Elita was a strong leader even before the war, but now she’s been forced to take on Optimus' responsibilities while also keeping him safe. She’s stressed, constantly dealing with managing the Autobot faction, and Decepticon attacks (all while making sure nobody outside their small circle discovers the secret). Still, she loves Optimus no matter what, and seeing him like this makes her fiercely protective over him

Outwardly, Wheeljack acts like his usual self, making jokes, keeping up with his work, taking sparkling duty like a champ and definitely not acknowledging the guilt eating at him (This mess is partially his fault, not intentionally of course, but that doesn’t make the weight on his spark any lighter) But when he’s alone, it gnaws at him. Every time he sees Optimus being adorable, being so vulnerable, it’s just another painful reminder. He’s overcompensating by throwing himself into work, trying to fix the problem while also building safety measures for their tiny leader

Jazz is really good with Baby Optimus. His easy-going nature and energy make him a great playmate for the kid (although he sometimes struggles with the actual taking care of him part, but he tries). That doesn’t mean Jazz isn’t aware of how much trouble this is. He knows they’re barely holding it together. The Decepticons will notice eventually, and when they do? They’ll probably be in serious trouble. But until then, Jazz just focuses on keeping the kid happy, and keeping morale up for the team

B-127 adores Baby Optimus. He’s always been close to Prime, and now that Prime is small, Bee has kind of become his big brother. They play together, and he loves carrying OP around, but sometimes he misses the real Optimus. The one who led them, who reassured them, who always had a plan. This tiny version of Prime is sweet and fun, but it’s just not his Optimus. He never says this aloud, though. Instead, he focuses on keeping Optimus safe and happy, hoping that one day, they’ll get him back to normal

Ratchet, as not only a medic but the Autobots' chief medic, has seen a lot in this war, but this? This is a whole new kind of problem. Ratchet spends half his time while on sparkling duty running scans on Optimus, making sure the transformation into a sparkling didn’t do any permanent damage. Despite his grumpiness and wariness, Baby Optimus has got him wrapped around his tiny finger, he loves the kid and constantly gives him treats. But deep down? Ratchet worries not just about Optimus, but about all of them. If the Decepticons ever find out, they’ll be completely vulnerable

Prowl is all about strategy, discipline, and efficiency. So, at first, Prowl treats Baby Optimus like a tactical problem. Keeping up a war effort and hiding a baby Prime? Nearly impossible. And it doesn’t help that Optimus refuses to stay out of trouble. He didn’t want to get attached, just solve this situation as soon as possible, but of course Optimus eventually won him over. Despite everything, Prowl is doing his best to keep things running smoothly. He knows they can’t afford to fall apart, if they do, the Autobots are doomed. He’s keeping them together through sheer force of will. But Primus helps him, if he catches Optimus stealing another one of his datapads, he’s may lose it

No one expected Ironhide to be good with sparklings. Even as one of the oldest miners he never really had much interaction with sparklings, at least not ones this young, but somehow things just clicked for him. At first, he wasn’t sure how to handle this. Optimus is his leader. His commander. The best Prime Cybertron has ever had probably. And seeing him as a helpless little sparkling messed with him. Despite this (after some light research) he becomes a great caretaker, he knows how to take care of a sparkling: He instinctively rocks Optimus when he’s fussy, he knows how to hold him properly (unlike others, Jazz knows what he did), he keeps track of feeding cycles, etc. And if anyone even thinks about hurting Optimus, they’re getting the biggest cannon in Ironhide’s arsenal to the face. No one messes with his little charge

In summary, they’re all struggling a bit lol, they need energon goodies too sometimes

[raina-at]

I don't know if anyone knows what's going on in Austria right now except for the, like, three Austrians here, but a) it's objectively hilarious and b) can maybe serve as a lesson to our German neighbouring conservatives how NOT to go about this.

So. We had parliamentary elections on September 29th, 2024. The FPÖ, the far right party led by a guy named Kickl, won with about 28% of the vote. The conservatives had about 26%, and came in second.

What usually happens then is that the Austrian president then nominates someone to form a gouvernment. By law, he can name ANYONE he chooses. He could name some rando from the streets. He could name ME. Traditionally, however, and because gouvernment should have a majority in parliament to be effective, he names the leader of the party that just won a majority in the election. But since nobody has over 50% of the vote, they need to form a coalition to have a majority in parliament.

The thing is, Kickl is a very divisive figure, even for a far-right party leader. His followers love him. But not only does the president despise Kickl, but the entire 72% of the Austrian population who didn't vote for him hate his guts with a fiery passion. This includes most other politicians and definitely the then chancellor and conservative party leader, Nehammer. They all think he's an unreliable, arrogant asshole.

So the president basically says to Kickl, "Look, prove to me that anyone will even consider forming a coalition gouvernment with you, and I'll nominate you to form a gouvernment."

Kickl fails at this because, have I mentioned this, everyone hates his guts. He spent the last five years insulting and degrading everyone and now nobody wants to work with him, surprise Pikachu face.

So the conservatives, who for parliamentary math reasons know they HAVE to be in the next gouvernment, are like, "Yay, now we're up." So they start talks with the socialists and the liberals. Talks drag on. It's Christmas by this time, and they're all, Yeah, we love each other, it's gonna be FINE.

Shortly after the new year, news breaks that they can't agree and negotiaions are off, mostly because the business lobby part of the conservatives were all, "You know what, the FPÖ's economic programm is more to our liking, we should deal with them."

The chancellor, Nehammer, who's also leader of the ÖVP (the conservatives), nopes out at this point, because he hates Kickl's guts and he actually seems to have a conscience (gasp!). So the ÖVP elects a new leader and starts negotiations with the FPÖ.

At this point, Kickl does a victory lap, talks about how he WON (he got 1,5% more votes than the ÖVP, and the vast majority of Austrians, like I said, HATE him), and how he was first and therefore he has a MANDATE and the ÖVP needs to recognise that they're second place and how they should basically bow down, kiss his feet and thank him for the mercy of exisiting.

That's the point where we make popcorn and see how far the ÖVP is wiling to humiliate itself to stay in power (which, btw, they are GUARANTEED to do because, you know, parliamentary math). In the beginning, everything seems rosy. There's harmony because both hate women, the queers, foreigners and poor people, so there's a lot of common ground here. Meanwhile, we all slightly panic because the things that are leaking out are BAD. Like, BAD. Like, 'ignore the European Court of Human Rights' bad. Like, 'Vote against Russian sanctions' bad.

So some people in the ÖVP are like, You know what, this isn't FUN for us. Last time you guys were much nicer, seems Nehammer was right, you guys ARE dicks. And some of the things you want are, yanno, kinda nuts. So dial it back a bit, ok?

FPÖ is like, nope, our way or the highway. ÖVP are like, ok, so let's be serious here, guys. We need an absolute minimum of guarantees that you won't turn completely nuts.

So Kickl does what every seasoned party leader with the unique and once in a lifetime chance to become Austria's first far right chancellor (barf) would do. He takes his ball and goes home.

So now, guess what's happening?

We're back to talks between the ÖVP, the socialists and the liberals.

And this time it seems the ÖVP is actually taking it seriously because they realised that hey, the crazy Nazis are actually, you know, crazy, and, you know, Nazis.

So we might actually have a gouvernment before Easter.

And now our ÖVP probably future chancellor is in the news being all, "So shocking that the far right won big in Germany, but they're all unreliable jerks who can't govern constructively anyway." Which. Like. Surprised nobody. Except him.

I hope for our German siblings that your politicians will spare you this comedy of errors and won't discover the hard way that the far right are *checks notes* bad. Also Nazis, which are also *checks notes* bad.

[leodette]

"In Sickness And In Health..." | LN4

(part of "In Sickness And In Health" series)

fandom: Formula 1

pairing: Lando Norris x OC

names/faceclaims: -

type: Instagram SMAU

summary: The Papaya Prince surprises the world with his marital status...

warning: timing doesn't make sense, please ignore that fact xD

**********

liked by thebride, mclaren, oscarpiastri and 3,001,457 others landonorris did a little thing 💍 (tagged thebride)

↪︎ user u kiddin right? i mean, april fools day was in, well, april

↪︎ user what is this?

↪︎ thebride love you Mr Norris ❤️🧡 liked by the author ↪︎ landonorris ❤️ U ➡️ 🌝 & 🔙 ↪︎ user okay this is super cute

↪︎ mclaren congratulations to the happy couple! (pr management asks for a little heads up next time) liked by the author ↪︎ thebride no need, there'll be no next time ↪︎ landonorris there better not be

↪︎ user Lando Norris, THE Lando Norris, is married? ↪︎ user they were even engaged?! ↪︎ landonorris yes, we got hitched, and no, we weren't engaged ↪︎ user u wanna tell us this was a split-of-a-second decision?! ↪︎ thebride more like split of an afternoon. needed my girls to get ready after all ❤️

↪︎ maxverstappen1 one would say simply lovely liked by the author ↪︎ landonorris we had g&t as well, i mean... ↪︎ maxverstappen1 and fight daniel over marriage certificate? no thank you ↪︎ danielricciardo HEY! ↪︎ maxverstappen1 but anyway, congratulations you two, get ready for the ride ↪︎ thebride thank you, Mr 4WC 💙 ↪︎ landonorris that heart is supposed to be papaya, my love ↪︎ thebride but he deserves it! he won! 🥺 ↪︎ maxverstappen1 that's okay, but thank you

↪︎ angryginge13 crazy little thing called love huh ❤️ liked by the author ↪︎ landonorris u have no idea mate

↪︎ danielricciardo still can't believe i had to do rock paper scissors with Piastri and Fewtrell about who's going to sign the marriage licence as your witness liked by the author ↪︎ oscarpiastri kinda want to say u cheated ↪︎ danielricciardo me? cheated? never! ↪︎ maxfewtrell agree with oscar here, it was supposed to go on shoot not on three ↪︎ landonorris does it matter? it is signed! ↪︎ thebride also, it was kinda amusing for the bride ↪︎ oscarpiastri if it amused the bride, than it was the job well done

↪︎ georgerussell63 U DID WHAT?! WHY WAS I NOT THERE?! liked by the author ↪︎ landonorris u were too busy getting drunk after p1. congrats btw! ↪︎ georgerussell63 man what do you mean that i got drunk while you got married?! ↪︎ landonorris that i got married while you got drunk? ↪︎ thebride that makes me wonder... carmenmmundt? ↪︎ carmenmmundt georgerussell63 👀 ↪︎ georgerussell63 George Russell left the chat

↪︎ adam-norris_pure_electric ❤️❤️❤️ liked by the author ↪︎ user dad approves! ↪︎ user of course he does, he and thebride are a staple duo of the mclaren garage!

↪︎ flonorris1 my sis-in-law is prettier than yours! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride hah, MY sister-in-law is prettier than yours! ↪︎ flonorris1 😘 ↪︎ thebride 🥰 ↪︎ landonorris is this how it feels to have your new wife stolen from u by ur own flesh and blood? ↪︎ ciscanorris1 took u long enough

↪︎ user just out of interest, how drunk were u? ↪︎ maxfewtrell he wasn't. crazy, right? ↪︎ landonorris wanted to remember every single second okay?

liked by landonorris, pietra.pilao, keeganpalmer and 846,268 others thebride we do. we did. we eloped. (tagged landonorris)

↪︎ landonorris love u mrs norris ❤️‍🔥 liked by the author ↪︎ thebride 🤭

↪︎ user didn't have that on my bingo card

↪︎ bridessister U REALLY DID IT! mom will kill you! ↪︎ thebride no she'll not cause she already knew! 😂 ↪︎ bridessister 🤯😠🤬

↪︎ maxfewtrell good luck girl, he's your responsibility now liked by the author

↪︎ lilyzneimer 🥰💐 liked by the author ↪︎ thebride my sweet girl 💖

↪︎ bridesbff when u said to me that u r going to marry this guy, i didn't expect u to do it literally a week later! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride oopsie daisy, guilty as charged ↪︎ thebride although not sorry at all

↪︎ f12wags mkay but everything aside, u both look gorg!

liked by heidiberger_, pierregasly, thebride and 1.267.534 others danielricciardo someone please bleach my eyes. jokes aside, it was a great honor to be one of the chosen few to watch this wedding happen. proud of you landonorris for growing up from that little kiddo to the man you are now. and thebride good luck with him, don't forget that people who love you both are just a phonecall away if you need help. congratulations! (tagged landonorris, thebride)

↪︎ thebride thank you for all this Danny, we love you and are very happy for you to be there with us ❤️ liked by the author ↪︎ danielricciardo it was my pleasure! ↪︎ thebride btw you just made lando cried, that's why he's not answering the phone ↪︎ danielricciardo SIMP he is!

↪︎ heidiberger_ the best evening! ↪︎ thebride it was! can't wait for yours! ↪︎ danielricciardo ehmmm hello? ↪︎ heidiberger_ 😇

↪︎ user okay but the cake?!

↪︎ user pizza in bed. if there was an epitome of LN wedding it would be this

↪︎ maxfewtrell and i still think u cheated with that rock paper scissors

liked by landonorris, pietra.pilao, thebride and 193.258 others maxfewtrell when Bob got hitched at Vegas (tagged thebride, landonorris)

↪︎ landonorris u make it shound like a title of some bad romance novel u muppet ↪︎ maxfewtrell oh I WISH it was that ↪︎ landonorris 🖕

↪︎ thebride what a lovely photo Max, thank you! liked by the author ↪︎ maxfewtrell my pleasure ma'am ↪︎ landonorris stop flirtin w/ my wife ↪︎ maxfewtrell then get out of my comments

liked by mclaren, logansargeant, landonorris and 1.298.953 others oscarpiastri that paper is a) Lando's contract extension or b) a menu he stole from a restaurant that didn't have any fish on it or c) a marriage licence (tagged landonorris, thebride)

↪︎ landonorris there was no need to call me out like that mate ↪︎ oscarpiastri says who? ↪︎ landonorris ...me? ↪︎ oscarpiastri wrong answer, please try again ↪︎ user i love how unserious they're

↪︎ user the fact that there wasn't carlos or max v but oscar and daniel speaks of itself ↪︎ oscarpiastri i just tagged with lily tbh she was the one invited

liked by maxfewtrell, heidiberger_, thebride and 35.311 others pietra.pilao the girl of the hour and her gang 🔥👰‍♀️ (tagged thebride, lilyzneimer, heidiberger_, bridessister)

↪︎ thebride couldn't wish for a better bridal party! love you my maid of honor!

↪︎ lilyzneimer 🥰👰‍♀️

↪︎ heidiberger_ that was fun! who's next?

↪︎ bridessister and here i thought that skipping vegas race wouldn't do much harm

↪︎ maxfewtrell now i get why that room was off limits... too much female energy!

*

time jump

liked by thebride, ciscanorris1, hellomag and 24.846 others wedding-planner Today landonorris and thebride celebrated their Las Vegas elopement with their families and friends in a laid-back garden party at Somerset. The buffet included multiple summer barbeque party staples like marinated ribs, steaks and burgers, together with an assortment of sweets and refreshments. Evening arrived with a self-served pizza and ramen noodle bar. Guests were entertained by live dj as well as pre-prepared playlists, and could enjoy many classic party games, including bouncing castle.

(comments have been limited)

↪︎ thebride the best wedding party we could ask for! thank you so much! liked by the author

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, f1 and 756.498 others mclaren Celebratory champagne pop, officially not only for the podiums. Congratulations to Mr & Mrs Norris! (tagged landonorris, thebride)

↪︎ redbullracing sending congratulations to the happy couple! waiting to see more of you in the paddock soon!

↪︎ scuderiaferrari Congratulazioni!

↪︎ mercedesamgf1 the biggest congratulations to our fellow driver and his new wife! We wish you many happy moments together!

↪︎ haasf1team Congratulations to the newlyweds!

↪︎ williamsracing heard that papaya fits quite nicely with Williams blue... anyway, the best wishes to both landonorris and thebride!

↪︎ astonmartinf1 Nothing brings the grid together like babies and weddings! Congrats to the bride and groom on their earlier nuptials as well as the after-wedding celebration!

↪︎ stakef1team Admin is trying very hard not to get emotional, so let's just say: We as a team wish the newlyweds the best! See you soon!

↪︎ alpinef1team 🩷🧡

↪︎ visacashapprb Congratulations!

↪︎ landonorris thank you papaya team 🧡

liked by thebride, ruthbuscombe, danielricciardo and 2.125.872 others landonorris hello mrs norris ❤️ (tagged thebride)

↪︎ thebride hello mr norris 🧡 liked by the author

↪︎ riabish this is the sweetest thing we'll see this week ↪︎ landonorris not used to see the sweet side of me or what? ↪︎ riabish oh you're plenty of sweet, but your WIFE makes it even sweeter! ↪︎ thebride that's my girl! love you babe! ↪︎ landonorris oh thatnk you darling! ↪︎ thebride I meant Ria ↪︎ riabish HA! ↪︎ landonorris attacked in my own comments. when does it end?

↪︎ user who would've thought that Lando had it in him

↪︎ bridesbff she's a catch ↪︎ landonorris that she is!

↪︎ user when little Landor Norris bagged the best woman in a very wide radius

↪︎ fifakill_ Lando Norris, husband. that sounds weird ↪︎ landonorris i'll give you weird! ↪︎ fifakill_ for now! i meant for now it sounds weird! i'm sure soon it'll be absolutely normal thing!

liked by revolve, landonorris, lilyzneimer and 35.068 others thebride the dream come true to celebrate a change of a surname with the full family-friends gang. thank you revolve for the perfect dress to party in all night. off to the end of our lives and beyond, hubby landonorris ❤️

↪︎ landonorris 🤩😍🥵 liked by the author

↪︎ landonorris THAT'S MY HOT WIFEY EVERYBODY! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride oh shush you muppet, not on main! 🤭 ↪︎ landonorris yes on main! not ashamed of the fact that my woman is so hot!

↪︎ user okay but can we please talk about how perfect this dress is? not too casual so she wouldn't get lost in between her guests, still makes her stand out as the bride, but isn't too ostentations or lavish to forbid her from enjoying her own celebration! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride can confirm that this was EXACTLY the reason why I chose it! appreciate your thought about it! nothing beats practicality while still making it feel special! ↪︎ user OMG HELLO BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOKED ABSOLUTELY STUNNING! ↪︎ thebride hehe hello 🥰 and thank you!

↪︎ lilyzneimer 🥰👗💃 liked by the author ↪︎ thebride will never forget us dancing until the sunrise ❤️ ↪︎ oscarpiastri so that's where she was all night! ↪︎ thebride yes, because your woman likes to dance! ↪︎ oscarpiastri touché! ↪︎ lilyzneimer 🤭 ↪︎ thebride don't worry Lily darlin', we'll go dancing soon enough! and no oscarpiastri and landonorris you're not invited, that is a girls night! ↪︎ landonorris u had to open that big mouth of urs right? oscarpiastri ↪︎ oscarpiastri sorry? we can always play some video games while these two're getting sloshed somewhere? ↪︎ landonorris u got urself a deal

↪︎ revolve It was our pleasure to provide this beautiful dress for the beautiful bride! Congratulations from the whole Revolve team! liked by the author

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, _aarava and 55.553 others keeganpalmer how to turn bunch of grown ups into children again? give them a bouncing castle! (tagged landonorris, thebride, bridessister, olivernorris1, lilymhe, lilyzneimer)

↪︎ landonorris wow what an observation!

↪︎ maxfewtrell at least you took off your shoes ↪︎ keeganpalmer had to otherwise they wouldn't let me on! ↪︎ thebride well if the bride and groom had to take their shoes off as well...? ↪︎ keeganpalmer no longer complaining! did anyone hear anything? ↪︎ maxfewtrell how did you do that? ↪︎ thebride did what? ↪︎ maxfewtrell shut keegan up! ↪︎ thebride ...

↪︎ user not Keegan tagging both Lilys' there!

↪︎ bridessister showoff ↪︎ keeganpalmer will happily accept that one! especially from you 😉 ↪︎ thebride hands off palmer! ↪︎ bridessister ignore her. you were sayin? ↪︎ thebride THE NERVE ↪︎ bridessister did you watch too much of rocketpoweredmohawk? ↪︎ thebride who? ↪︎ landonorris u don't wanna know, trust me

liked by bridesmom, thebride, riabish and 3.912 others bridessister side by side or miles apart, sisters will always be connected by the heart. until one of them falls from a chair during her own wedding celebration. (tagged thebride)

↪︎ thebride except i didn't fall down? ↪︎ bridessister almost. it's the effort that counts! ↪︎ thebride doesn't matter. love ya sis ↪︎ bridessister love u right back ❤️

↪︎ keeganpalmer ❤️‍🔥 ↪︎ thebride no ↪︎ keeganpalmer 🥲 ↪︎ bridessister LEAVE HIM BE

↪︎ bridesmom my two girls ❤️ ↪︎ bridessister 🥰 ↪︎ thebride 🥰

liked by georgerussell63, logansargeant, lilymhe and 549.853 others alex_albon CORNHOLE!! much love to Lando and thebride for their Vegas nuptials, and thanks for including me and Lily in your celebration! (tagged landonorris, thebride)

↪︎ landonorris thanks mate for ur presence and for the great gift ↪︎ user okay now we need to know what that gift was ↪︎ landonorris no u don't it's a secret

↪︎ georgerussell63 should I mention that I absolutely destroyed you in that round? ↪︎ alex_albon oh and should we mention that there is one person whose job is to put a bag (or a ball) into a hole? NO DOUBLE MEANING I MEAN lilymhe ↪︎ lilymhe 🤔 ↪︎ georgerussell63 oh this is great fun ↪︎ carmenmmundt popcorn? 🍿 ↪︎ georgerussell63 please! ↪︎ alex_albon THAT STILL DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT LILY DESTORYED ALL OF US?!

liked by kellypiquet, pierregasly, landonorris and 1.219.673 others maxverstappen1 he won in Miami, he won at Zaandvort, he won in Singapore, he won in Abu Dhabi, he won in life. congrats landonorris and thebride for this huge step, and thank you for allowing me to be a part of this special celebration.

↪︎ thebride the pleasure was all ours Max! thank you for being here for both of us! liked by the author ↪︎ maxverstappen1 any time (or as long as it stays off track!) ↪︎ landonorris no promises! 😂

↪︎ kellypiquet such a lovely celebration! congratulations to landonorris and thebride and wishing you only happiness and health in the future! ↪︎ thebride thank you so much Kelly! it was extremely special to enjoy the time with you and Max and P! ↪︎ landonorris thank you Kelly!

↪︎ landonorris here, we can calm the internet speculations that we're enemies! trust me, would never invite an enemy to my wedding party! ↪︎ maxverstappen1 not sure how to feel about that one, but thank you!

↪︎ user not the whole grid throwing Lando in the air like he just won the championship ↪︎ landonorris they're practicing for the real deal 😉 ↪︎ maxverstappen1 let's calm down a bit, shall we?

liked by landonorris, scuderiaferrari, maxverstappen1 and 1.351.185 others carlosainz55 Lando Nowins no more, Lando Norizz no more. Te amo amigo. Felicidades!

↪︎ scuderiaferrari one big F1 family, right mclaren? ↪︎ mclaren wouldn't be the proper celebration without a bit of red 😉 ↪︎ danielricciardo we talking about wine? i can offer some red! ↪︎ mclaren well played Mr Ricciardo, well played 🤠

↪︎ landonorris gracias amigo for being the best surrogate big brother i could ask for! ur turn next! ↪︎ iamrebeccad something i should know about! ↪︎ carlossainz55 you see what you caused?! iamrebeccad let's talk about it first, okay? ↪︎ iamrebeccad call. now. ↪︎ charles_leclerc someone is in trouble! ↪︎ landonorris 'm so sorry! it was just an innocent question! ↪︎ carlossainz55 there was nothing innocent about it you ass!

↪︎ maxverstappen1 who'd have thought that little Lando Norris would be the first of this generation to tie the knot ↪︎ charles_leclerc definitely not me ↪︎ pierregasly nor me ↪︎ oscarpiastri safe to say no one thought that

↪︎ user Carlando will always be real and in the front liked by the author ↪︎ carlossainz55 couldn't be more true!

liked by thebride, savnorris, bridesmom and 5.298 others bridesbff ma b*tch got hitched! now i have to change your contact info, do u know how weird that is?! (tagged thebride, landonorris)

↪︎ thebride not weirder than changing my passport. the new signature is a weird thing to perform liked by the author ↪︎ bridesbff has a nice ring to it thought, right? ↪︎ thebride 🤭

↪︎ savnorris the best of the best! liked by the author

↪︎ bridesmom Should I find that photo of you two from your first day at nursery? ↪︎ thebride MOM ↪︎ bridesbff I'd say some things are better to stay hidden ↪︎ landonorris I WANNA SEE IT! ↪︎ bridesmom Don't worry Lando, it will be ready next time you two come for a visit! ↪︎ thebride bridesbff you need to destroy it!

liked by thebride, landonorris, bridessister and 1.206 others bridesmom my little girl is a married woman! landonorris it's your turn to take care of her now (tagged thebride)

↪︎ thebride awww mama i'll always be your little girl! liked by the author ↪︎ bridesmom ❤️

↪︎ landonorris i promise ma'am 🫡 liked by the author

↪︎ bridessister who would've thought that the family general has a soft side! ↪︎ thebride oh c'mon sis don't be mean ↪︎ bridessister sorry mama bear, you're the best in the whole world and we love you so much ❤️

↪︎ momsfriend1 where is the little girl who was chasing animals around the fields and jumping in puddles? why do they grow up so fast? liked by the author

↪︎ momsfriend2 the prettiest girl 😍💐 liked by the author

liked by flonorris1, savnorris, natalie_pinkham and 34.137 others adam_norris_pure_electric Congratulations landonorris and thebride

↪︎ user adam and cisca beat every single "evil in-laws" stereotype ever

↪︎ olivernorris1 I'm not cleaning that pool, just so we're clear. They jumped in it, they can clean it. ↪︎ landonorris boooo no fun with u ↪︎ olivernorris1 do you consider jumping in a pool while wearing your wedding attire a fun?! ↪︎ flonorris1 don't pretend like you didn't jump straight behind him! ↪︎ adam_norris_pure_electric you all are cleaning that pool ↪︎ thebride even me? 🥺 ↪︎ adam_norris_pure_electric not you, my dear, but if you could help cisca and sav with lunch? ↪︎ thebride absolutely! ↪︎ landonorris okay i get who's the favorite now ↪︎ olivernorris1 ^^ ↪︎ ciscanorris1 ^^ ↪︎ flonorris1 ^^

↪︎ user jumping into a pool at the end of the wedding party - nothing screams Norris more than that

liked by riabish, thebride, mattyp1 and 74.295 others quadrant when boss gets married, it means one thing. IT'S NEW MERCH TIME! 'Happily Ever After' is set to drop this Friday at 10.00am GMT, don't forget to put your alarm clocks on! (tagged landonorris, thebride)

↪︎ user the speed i put my alarm on

↪︎ user like i'd ever miss quadrant merch

↪︎ user getting married in two months, guess what will be a late-night party attire?!

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton, parishilton and 447.259 others thebride sorry it's not that new headset you wanted. hope this wedding gift works as well. welcome home, Fergus Bobby Norris (tagged landonorris)

↪︎ landonorris don't u dare to compare Fergie to a headset! he's the best gift i could ever receive. thank you for him, my love 🧡 liked by the author ↪︎ maxfewtrell jesus calm down man, it's a dog not a baby ↪︎ landonorris he is our baby! for now 😏 ↪︎ thebride 👀 ↪︎ maxfewtrell TMI! TMI!

↪︎ mclaren welcome to the family little guy! we'll make sure the factory is puppy-proofed before you come back from your honeymoon! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride 🧡🧡🧡

↪︎ oscarpiastri does that officially make me a dog uncle? liked by the author ↪︎ thebride of course! ↪︎ landonorris i guess so ↪︎ charles_leclerc but, but, what about leo?! ↪︎ oscarpiastri leo is my brother, not my nephew ↪︎ alex_albon this family tree's starting to be a bit complicated ↪︎ georgerussell63 no shit sherlock!

↪︎ alexandrasaintmleux playdate when? francisca.cgomes roscoelovescoco liked by the author ↪︎ thebride does AD work? ↪︎ francisca.cgomes works for me ↪︎ roscoelovescoco can't wait's for all the fun's!

↪︎ user OMG WE'LL GET A WHOLE PADDOCK DOG GANG TOGETHER! ↪︎ thebride shhh don't scream please, Fergie's sleeping 🤫 ↪︎ user ups, sorry my queen 🫡