#I woke up at 5am this morning! I will wake up at 5am tomorrow too!

[notbecauseofvictories]

Big mistake to go into a career that is 50% reading contracts, when sometimes, the very sight of a contract makes me physically ill.

[megan-loves-surveys]

#43.

According to your ex, are you a b-word? I don't know what they think of me and I don't care.

Are you easily amused? Definitely.

Do you miss someone? Kinda.

Who was your last received call from? Work.

Do you think you'll be married in five years? No.

When was the last time you cried? The other day.

What woke you up today? My alarm.

Have you done anything embarrassing lately? Probably lol.

Are you currently frustrated with a girl? No.

Who was the last person you took a picture with? My Mum.

Will you be up before seven AM tomorrow? I'm working tomorrow, but I don't need to get up THAT early lol. I'll get up around 7:30 or so.

Do you currently have a hickey? No.

Do you hate girls? I love them, I am one!

Did you date anyone last summer? Yep.

When was the last time you used a walkie talkie? I don't think I ever have lol.

Do you like to take walks? Sure.

What're the last three things you had to drink? Fruit juice, Starbucks frappe and water.

Have you ever dated the same person twice? No.

Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past three months? Yep.

If you could move somewhere else, would you? Maybe.

Are you dating the person that texted you last? No, we're BFFs haha.

Are you mutually best friends with anyone? Yes.

How many people have you had sex with in the past week? 1, my boyfriend.

What's your middle name? Sarah.

Would you rather spend a whole day with your mom or your dad? Both of them!

Where were you twelve hours ago? I was in the shower LOL xD

Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward? Depends.

Do you know what you're going to wear tomorrow? Yes - I'm working so I'll wear black pants, a blouse and my grey blazer with heels, then after work I'll change to yoga pants and a hoodie to go the gym.

Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming? No.

Have you ever passed out from drinking too much? No.

What're you doing tomorrow? Work and then the gym with Ngawari.

Have you ever been mooned? No.

What color are your socks? They're grey and pink winter fluffy socks xD

Do you shave? Yep.

What was the reason behind the last time you cried? My stomach hurt and woke me up in the middle of the night :/

Are you shy? I can be, but I'm not too bad.

When was the last time you shared a bed with someone? The other night.

Did your ex hurt you emotionally when you broke up? No.

Did you lose your virginity to someone you were in love with? No.

Have you ever loved someone without ever meeting them? No.

Where were you at eight AM this morning? Sleeping.

What's your favorite fruit? Banana.

How many times did you go see the Twilight movie? None.

What’s going on with you tomorrow night? Nothing in particular.

Do you get bad mood swings? No.

Do you wish you never dated someone you dated? Probably.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night? Not in the middle of the night, but that sore stomach I mentioned woke me up about 5am :(

Are you afraid of commitment? I guess so, considering I don't want to get married xD

Would you hug the last person you hugged again? Yes.

How did you get together with your last ex? We were set up by mutual friends.

Does your mom color her hair? Yep.

Do you know anyone who has road rage? Not seriously.

Has anyone ever told you they wanted to be with you forever? Yes.

Are you still with them? Yes.

Have you ever slept with the opposite sex and not had sex with them? Yes.

Do you think political correctness has gone too far? I think it has in some ways, especially when people try to cancel things from the past for not matching up to today's standards.

What is a recurring thought on your mind today? Hmm...

Have you had any confrontations with anyone lately? No.

What is the last charity you donated to? Make A Wish.

Do you feel all fuzzy and good when you do a good deed? Sure.

Don't ya just hate foot cramps? Yes.

Would you say you have an infectious laugh? Prob not.

Shouldn't you be doing something else right now? No lol.

Do you have anything planned for the summer? It's winter lol.

What is something you worry about often? My health.

Are there any mountains nearby where you live? Loads, the suburb I live in is named after one in fact lol.

Did you like to collect frogspawn as a kid? No idea what that is.

Do you walk fast or slow? In between.

Do you keep birthday cards or throw them out? Keep them.

Would you consider yourself healthy? Mostly, but like I said, I do worry about certain parts of it.

Do you play any team sports? If so, which position do you play? No.

What would you do if you found a small, lost child? Depends.

Have you ever watched the devil's rejects? Opinions? No.

Do you listen to Dimmu Borgir? No idea who that is.

Would you agree that the best music comes from North Europe? No, it comes from all over the world.

Have you pointed out any of my spelling or grammar mistakes so far? No.

Does sitting in waiting rooms drive you insane? Yes.

What form of public transport do you use most often? Bus, with train in second place.

Would you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie? Nah.

What catches your eye first when it comes to the opposite sex? Their face.

What moisturiser do you use? Nivea.

Do you ever go onto 'failblog'? No.

Do you ever put sticky notes around the place to remind yourself of things? No.

Would you eat a spider for $50? Hell no. You'd have to pay way more than that lol.

Would you rather be a kangaroo or a koala? Koala.

What is a common slang word from where you live? "Sweet as" lol.

If you had to go to a fancy dress party later, what would you dress as? Like a costume? A school girl or something haha.

Would you consider yourself a leader or a follower? Depends.

Do you keep your fingers on the home keys when you type? I type properly if that's what you mean.

Are you easy to talk to? I hope so.

Can you juggle with more than two items? No.

Do you own a pair of rollerskates? No.

Has anyone ever assumed you can't speak english? No.

Do you live in a rural or an urban area? Urban.

At airports do you ever worry your luggage won't arrive? Oh my god, yes lol. They always did, but it's a worry haha.

Do your parents ever call you 'pet' or 'sweetheart' etc? if so, does it annoy you? No.

Do you like jalapenos? Not the actual things, but jalapeno flavoured things are great.

Do you know any really tall Asian people? Yes, Lulu is Chinese and she's super tall.

Have you ever been knocked out? Yes.

What other windows have you currently got opened? iTunes, LibreOffice Writer and Discord.

What woke you up this morning? My alarm.

Who else is in the same building as you? In our house, my Mum. In the rest of the complex, any number of people lol.

What is your favourite childhood book? Hmm...

Would you like a penny farthing bicycle? No.

Will your day be a good one? It's almost over, and it was good.

What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes?: No idea.

What color ARE your lashes?: Black.

What font do you usually use?: Depends.

What about font colors?: Black usually.

Are you good at making graphics or designing layouts?: No.

Do you put gel or mousse in your hair?: No.

Blow dry your hair or naturally let it dry? Towel dry, maybe? Blow dry it, I hate how it goes when it dries naturally - it goes all flat and weird.

Ever seen the movie SLC Punk?: Never heard of it.

How about The Crow?: No.

Any Tim Burton movies?: Probably.

Have a favorite actor/actress?: Not really.

Current favorite song?: Angelina Mango - La Noia

A movie you’ll never get sick of?: None.

Do you write stories?: Yep.

How about poetry in general?: No.

Do you talk to yourself?: Yep. Everyone does xD

Ever used to have an imaginary friend?: Yep.

Believe in heaven/hell?: No.

Believe in God/Satan?: No.

What is a Juggalo?: A fan of that ICP group or whatever they're called.

Do you wear pajamas to bed?: Yes.

Sleep with just one pillow?: Yes. It used to be 2 but then I got a big thick heavy bamboo pillow so now I only need 1.

How often do you remember your dreams?: Sometimes.

Ever used a dreamcatcher? If so, did it work? No.

Ever woke up crying?: Probably.

Ever got inspired to do something different?: Dunno?

Ever took ballet, jazz, or tap dancing classes?: No.

Do you like big dogs or small dogs better?: Big, but they're all cute.

What’s your opinion on Britney Spears?: I adore her. Her discography is GOAT and I cheered when she got her freedom from her Dad and the conservatorship. She deserves nothing but happiness.

What about Christina Aguilera?: She's extremely talented and I love most of her music, but she seems a bit bitchy to me.

Avril Lavigne?: I used to hate her music, but I listened to her last couple of albums recently and they're actually pretty good, so I like her now. She also seems like a cool person.

Lindsay Lohan?: I'm glad she got back on track and is happy now, she deserves it, she had a hard time.

Hilary Duff?: She seems down to earth and was one of the only non problematic ex Disney stars, so good for her.

Good Charlotte?: Not my thing.

Simple Plan?: See above.

Tupac?: I don't really know anything about him and rap isn't my genre lol.

Ever heard of the band Zug Izland?: No.

Do you know what a Liger is?: No.

Whatever happened to Rice Krispie’s Treats cereal?: It had a cereal?

How many phones are in your home?: 2.

Are you going to graduate high school on time?: -

Going to a 4-Year college or just a 2-Year?: -

Are you even GOING to college?: I already did.

Gonna move out when you’re 18?: -

Drive away from home as soon as you get your own car?: -

Happy with your parents, or pissed?: I love my parents.

How many framed pictures are in your room?: A few.

Ever thought of enrolling in the Armed Forces? If so, what exactly? Hell no.

Do you take any pills daily?: No.

Know any pill poppers?: No.

Do people consider you random at times?: Probably.

On AIM, do you put up away messages or just go idle more often?: -

Been to the zoo lately?: Not for years.

Own any fuzzy pens or gel pens?: No.

Wear a specific necklace every day?: No.

Ever been grounded? If so, what’s the longest time you’ve been grounded and from what? Never lol.

Would you ever work at a movie theater? Sure.

Do you have a phone charger in your car? -

Do you live far from your parents? I live with my Mum, and my Dad lives on the other side of the city.

What was the last type of smoothie you drank? I think probably mango or something.

Do you think you have a wide vocabulary? Sure.

Describe your current position: Sitting on my office chair with my left leg over my right.

Have you used a microwave today? No.

What is your favorite mobile app? Facebook, Pokémon Sleep & Go and Discord.

Have you ever slept through an alarm? Probably.

Do you have lactose intolerance or know anyone who does? I have it mildly.

Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I can go alone, but it's good to have someone to wait with lol.

Which household chore do you hate the most? Anything to do with the bathroom.

Do you like pineapple on pizza? Yes.

Do you like to hold hands? Sure.

Will you sleep alone tonight? Yes.

How do you feel right now? I'm tired, but I'm in a good mood.

What are your plans for tonight? Nothing.

Do you want a tattoo? No.

Have you ever kissed the last person you text messaged? No.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? Dunno.

Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? No, I have green eyes, he has brown.

Have you smoked a cigarette in the past 24 hours? No.

Are you the youngest? Only child.

Do you often press the wrong keys on the keyboard? No.

What’s your favourite type of cake? Any.

Do you have any life changing plans within the next 6 months? No.

Do you think people over thirty should be able to have sex? What the fuck kinda question is this? LOL.

When’s the last time you played the board game Clue? Dunno.

[jodilin65]

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1987 Tonight’s New Year’s Eve. Another year has gone by.

I woke up early and straightened up a bit. I changed the pig’s cage. They’ll need more food and sawdust today. I think I’ll buy them cedarwood. It lasts longer and smells good. I’ll be gone 10 days so it has to last. Crystal will feed them and give them water while I’m gone.

Speaking of Crystal, she is one hell of a good roommate. I only wish she was a little neater.

Kevin is supposed to drive Crystal and I down to Salem to see Tammy, but Crystal never came home last night. She’s probably with her abusive boyfriend, Mike.

We have a lot of fun together, Crystal and me. Last night she said, “I feel like I’ve known you for years.” I feel that way too. I just hope to hell she shows up to go to Tammy’s. I have a feeling she’ll forget. Maybe I’ll just go with Kevin, although I really want Crystal to go, too.

I wonder if 1988 will be my lucky year. I know, however, that this is the year I am going to hear out of both ears.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25, 1987 Crystal has finally moved in. She just finished unpacking. We met at Dunkin’ Donuts and got to discussing my wanting a roommate.

Now she’s singing. Personally, I think Crystal has just about the worse voice I’ve ever heard.

I spoke to Jenny today. It’s her 23rd birthday. She told me of all the gifts she got from her family and friends.

I tried to get a hold of Mary and there was no answer. She’s just as hard to get a hold of as Emily is.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19, 1987 At about 3:00, I went and did my laundry at the X, then came home at 6:00 and called Dad. He took me out to dinner at 7:00, then when he brought me home he came up here for about half an hour or so. I played Love Me Tender on the keyboard for him and made him coffee.

He weighed himself on my scale and said that it was definitely accurate and that there was no way I could possibly weigh 121 pounds. Then when I stepped on it, it said I was 111.

The people here are so noisy. I think I hear a garbage disposal running now.

Took a bath tonight, never straightening my hair. It looks ridiculous. Very curly.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 16, 1987 I'm currently waiting to see the therapist. My dad picked me up earlier today to exchange some pants I received as a Hanukkah gift at the mall. I've noticed my weight has increased and I now weigh 121 pounds. Last night, I had a great time at Tammy's. She, Bill, and their daughters gifted me a sleep shirt for my upcoming Florida trip. Additionally, my parents gave me socks, underwear, a comfy sweatshirt dress, a purse, earrings, a watch, a bracelet, a miniskirt with a matching shirt, two pairs of pants, a coat, gloves, and a scarf.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 14, 1987 Looks like I'll be pulling another all-nighter. My body always seems to prefer sleeping during the day instead of at night. Fran and Kevin came over earlier, and we watched a movie that was just average. Nothing too exciting. Tomorrow, I have plans to meet Jenny at Springfield Municipal Hospital where she works at 3:30. She's helping me with my grocery shopping, and I'll be giving her around 30 paperback books that I no longer want.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13, 1987 Last night I fell asleep at sometime around 11:00. I woke up at 5:00 this morning. No noise woke me up. I just for some reason automatically woke up. Who knows why, but on weekdays when I have errands to do it seems I sleep all day, but on the weekend what do I do when there’s nothing to wake up for? Get up at 5am.

Hank from downstairs was up here twice today visiting. Once I asked him to come and look at the black and white TV. He says the transistors are gone.

Then he called up to me while I was dusting the bedroom from his bedroom asking me for aspirin.

Tomorrow or Monday I must get my Hanukkah cards and get my Christmas cards ready to go out in the mail. I also must mail Jo’s b-day card in a few days, too.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1987 Last night I didn’t get to sleep until about 6am. Today I slept till 1pm, got up, put up with the nervous bastard for a while then went to therapy. Next week is my last week with Trisha.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 8, 1987 I am currently at Dunkin Donuts and have had two cups of coffee, but nothing to eat. I have successfully lost three pounds. However, I have not consumed any food today, and I plan to continue this trend for the next three to five days.

On Tuesday at 4 pm, my parents and I will be heading to Tammy's for a Hanukkah gathering. I hope the experience will be more enjoyable than Thanksgiving, as I sometimes find my family's behavior to be frustrating.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1987 I had quite a long day today. I have been up since 5:15 this morning as the people upstairs on the 3rd floor were doing the 50-yard dash. I woke up to their footsteps.

At about 8:45 I left for the bus to go to the social security office. I also applied for food stamps.

At the federal building, I saw 3 deaf women signing and went up to join them. I also met a woman from Trinidad who has a deaf daughter. She wants me to teach her sign language. I gave her my number and she says she’ll call me.

As of right now, I am at Jenny’s keeping her company while she cuts carpet.

Jenny gave me a little scatter rug. She has some other carpet for me but she has to find out how much it costs before she sells it to me. I’d love some carpet for my bedroom and the hallway. I hope I can afford it though as I only get $474.49 a month between my two checks (Social Security and SSI). It’s so hard to afford to buy anything for myself other than just pay my rent and the bills because I get so little.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1987 Jenny and Jim were over tonight for a little while. Jenny got me this candle and potpourri that smells really nice.

Earlier today I went to the mall to do some Chanukah shopping. I got Dad Wynonna and Naomi’s tape, mittens for Rebecca, a coloring book for Lisa, a cosmetic organizer for Jenny, and placemats for Tammy and Bill’s table, and last, a bracelet for Kevin. I still need to get something for me and Emily. In case I haven’t already said so, Tammy is my older sister, but no one in the family has been in touch with our older brother, Larry. Bill is Tammy’s husband whom I never really cared for. Lisa is her daughter which she had with some Mexican guy when she lived in Texas. She currently lives in Connecticut. Bill and Tammy had Becky together and both are lousy parents.

Later…

I’ll probably be up most of the night since I slept so late this morning, but I have to get up early tomorrow so I can go to STCC and the federal building. I also have to have some blood work done tomorrow. Right now I am making some fish cakes but after they’re done and I eat I’m going to go over that form for financial aid.

On January 2nd I’ll be flying down to Florida to visit my folks.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4, 1987 It’s been a depressing birthday so far. I am now waiting for Mom and Dad to come pick me up for dinner. Jenny and Emily, an old friend, totally forgot it was my birthday today. Kevin told me over the phone he couldn’t afford to get me anything. I did, however, get a card from Tammy who I’m sure won’t even call me. I also got a card from Jo. Jo’s an old lady back at the old apartment complex I used to live at. Her husband’s crazy but that’s because he has Alzheimer’s disease.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 2, 1987 I am now at the doctor’s waiting to be seen. The nurse just weighed me at 118½ pounds.

Nellie paid me $20 today and was on her way over to visit when I was on my way out the door.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 1, 1987 I am now at Mom and Dad’s doing my laundry. As usual, Mom is in her bitchy mood.

Kevin is definitely going to get his ass kicked the next time I see him seeing that he threatened me this morning. He should definitely know better by now, but seeing that he doesn’t, maybe I’ll have to hurt him.

I hope to be going to STCC for part-time classes in the daytime starting in January. Also the interpreter training class at night. I’d still like to tutor sign and try doing calligraphy on the side to make extra money.

I hope I see Mary very soon. I want the clothes back she borrowed. If she doesn’t have them she’s dead, just like Nellie if I don’t get paid tomorrow.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1987 Well, today I slept very late again as usual. I was going to do my laundry tonight at 6:00 but Jenny called me at 5:00 and came over at 5:30 to get me and brought me to her new house. I helped her clean her bedroom floor.

I just went across the street to get Jenny and me some coffee.

Jenny’s new house, although it is a rental, is quite nice. It’s got 6 rooms and her bedroom is very big. It has marble floors and a sliding glass door with a porch. Lots of closets everywhere.

Right now she’s painting. She painted the walls purple and the woodwork white. So far she’s pissed because Warren, the guy she’s renting it with, hasn’t done anything yet as far as cleaning. I said, “That’s a male for you.” Males are slobs and hate to clean. They wouldn’t clean unless their lives depended on it but probably not even then. Males suck!

Yesterday I went to see Tammy. She gave me a lot of food and some money. Tomorrow Nellie is going to pay me or she has a broken neck.

I am listening to Jenny’s music. That is our only difference. She hates my music and I think her heavy metal sucks. The only thing we agree on is The Cars.

Last Friday was a bad day in therapy as Trisha came out and told me she was leaving. I balled my eyes out crying. She looked sad, too. She’s got a new job in Connecticut closer to her house where she’ll be working with teenagers. I’ll really miss her and I’m going to hate to have to start my whole life story over again with a new therapist. Don’t forget I’ve been seeing Trisha for a year and a half.

Mom and Dad called yesterday while I was in the tub. They’re coming home Wednesday to return to work. I can’t wait. I missed them.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1987 I just finished my last cigarette. I want to quit. Maybe tomorrow morning I won’t wheeze so badly because I’ve only had one since about 8:15.

Tomorrow I must go to State St. for that volunteer interview for signing. That’s at 10:30.

Also tomorrow, Trisha rescheduled me for 1:00.

I hope I get some extra money soon so I can do Chanukah and Christmas shopping. I want to buy my own cards and do them in calligraphy.

I also want to buy a rod for the curtains I want to put up over the bars in the bathroom window.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1987 I still have the flu and probably will for a few more days. Yesterday all I did was go apply for food stamps and then I felt sicker than hell. It seems I go crazy from sitting in here but then when I go out it creeps up on me.

I am still wide awake with side effects from my medication. I’m gonna tell the doctor that either she changes the medication or I don’t take it at all.

Later…

The bald eagle is here now and he helped me put up the hammock that Mary gave me.

I didn’t get to sleep till 5:00 this morning or possibly later. I got up at 9:00 for an hour, then fell back asleep at 10:00 and woke up at noon when Tammy called telling me about her nutty mother-in-law. This woman really sounds like a real psycho.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 1987 I did not go to sleep till 4:30 this morning and one hour later I woke at 5:30. I woke up nauseous then another hour later I woke up at 6:30 and puked. I guess I got the flu. I am going from hot to cold constantly.

I am now at Dunkin Donuts debating on whether or not to do my laundry. I really feel sick but I need to get the hell out.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 1987 I am now waiting for Shannon to call me. I hope she has some good news for me. I guess we are going to work out, too.

I hope I’ll have good news myself for Mom and Dad the next time they call.

Later…

Shannon and her sister Doreen just left. We had a really nice visit till the fucking male bastard walked in and gave his usual story of Hartford. When I told them about Kevin’s nervous disorder they laughed royally.

The prick male downstairs was in a huge fight with Mattie. I felt like going down and giving him a piece of my mind.

I don’t know if Shannon’s gonna move in. I hope so, though. She’d be a great roommate.

Tomorrow I’ve got to go to court for the stupid little baby pigs and watch them fall flat on their asses. Males! 90% of my problems in life are males. I gotta go call Mary and remind her. She better go with me tomorrow.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1987 I am at Friendly’s now. Kevin started off in his usual fucked up nervous mood, shaking and getting all argumentative. He totally trembles with nerves every other time I see him! I’ve never seen anything like it. Does this have to do with the concussion he was hospitalized with? You can really see the nervousness in his hands with the way his fingers curl and uncurl.

Soon, I’m going to Food Mart and maybe Brightwood in Longmeadow. I need to get guinea pig food, cedar chips and a few groceries.

Later…

Well, the fucking male just ran out of gas again for the 4th time. God, I’m sick of his shit! I wish they’d commit him to a fucking loony bin. He’s a sicko! I hope the little nervous bastard eats shit and dies. People wonder why I’m gay? Then again, even if all guys were sweethearts, I’m attracted to women. Period.

I called Tammy, my sister who lives in CT, thinking tomorrow was court when it’s really Thursday. I wonder if she’ll drive up and go with me? She did ask for my lawyer’s name and number, though. I guess she feels better being there and that I’ll say the wrong thing if she’s not. If she doesn’t go I’ll have Mary go, but not the little nervous bastard.

I’m still here in Friendly’s drinking coffee till the little nervous bastard gets back from his favorite pastime - running to get gas. The fucking prick! Maybe he’ll fall and break a leg. Someday someone’s gonna do it for him if it isn’t me. I’m so pissed off now. That little bastard’s lucky I didn’t fuck him up.

I need to change the pig’s cage quite badly and vacuum.

Later…

Shannon came over and I think maybe she’ll be my lucky break. I hope so. I sang for her and played my instruments and she said, “What are you doing sitting around here?”

She says she knows some people and that she’s going to talk to some people about my singing. She says she knows some musicians and knows a girl who was talking about being an agent. She also says I may be her lucky break with the signing. She knows a few girls who need to be tutored. She and her sister are going to post that I’d like to teach signing on the bulletins at STCC.

We are going to be going to work out together from now on. She goes in this direction. That would be great. That way I don’t have to go with the little nervous bastard and take the chance of either getting killed by his erratic driving or him running out of gas. She is to be calling me at around 2:00 or 2:30 tomorrow afternoon. I hope she has some good news. Around 4pm we’ll be going to work out.

Too bad she can’t move in here. She’d be the perfect roommate, but I guess she wants her own apartment.

I called the book club and they said I have some books coming from the Mystery Guild. The other two clubs show nothing.

Later…

Just got through speaking with Mary, Doug and Kevin. Doug said he’d never want to be in the same room with me for physical fear of me cutting his cock off, haha. Good for him.

Can’t wait till I hear from Shannon and to get my books.

Tomorrow morning I’d like to go to the bank and then go to welfare and see if I qualify for food stamps. They’d be nice to have.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1987 I am kind of in a bummed-out mood now. I feel a little tired and dizzy. I guess maybe it’s time to get my eyes checked. I know I definitely don’t want to wear glasses.

I think right now I’m going to take a bath and maybe listen to some music. I’m going to also watch the conclusion of that movie I said I saw last night.

Now for my good news. That Shannon C that I met at the gym called to tell me she knew 3 girls from STCC who are currently taking sign language classes and are very confused and need to be tutored. So I think I’ll be tutoring them here at home. Great! Extra money. I miss using my signing, too.

Shannon also said she wants to move out into her own apartment so I gave her Larry’s number. I wonder who will get my apartment and Nancy’s?

Tomorrow night at about 6:00 Shannon will be dropping by for a visit.

Tomorrow I hope Kevin gets his goddamn car fixed. I need to go grocery shopping and buy guinea pig food, and I’d love to skip the buses.

Later…

I just finished watching the movie. That was a hell of a good movie.

Jenny called today. She told me about her job as a nurse’s aide.

The day after tomorrow I must appear in court. I’ve been charged with making prank phone calls. I sure hope they dismiss it, but fat chance! Maybe I just won’t go.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1987 Today I woke up kind of bored so I called Mary and spent the day at her house. Her brother’s a real bastard, and the nervous bastard (Kevin) ran out of gas today at Mary’s. I’m not staying at Mary’s for the night because John and her bastard brother Doug are going to be there tonight. I’ll just go home and clean the apartment. And God knows it sure does need it, too. I’d like to catch up on my reading tonight and maybe study some Spanish. I’ve missed all my weekend shows, though.

Later…

I am home now and have cleaned up. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would. I remember how picky and perfectly neat I used to be and I wish I could be that way again.

Right now I am watching a movie about these millionaires who committed murder. I think it’s over in a few minutes. After the movie, I must take a bath, wash my hair, shave and brush my teeth. I may read later, too.

I wish to hell I didn’t have this driving phobia I’ve got and that I had my own car or could just move to Florida because I really can’t stand Kevin. It’s a bitch when the one you need around to use for transportation is a total asshole. No luck, I know, as far as him moving. Well, maybe his car will break down or get pulled from him with that rejection sticker he’s had since April and I won’t give in to my temptation to call for a ride.

I was expecting Ma to call tonight but I guess not. She did say this weekend, though. Maybe she’s busy.

Later…

Mary’s bastard brother tried to hit on me on the phone tonight. He said, “I have a heart in me and I know you have a heart too, and I know I can change your mind about men and make you happy.”

No male is gonna “change my mind.” I want a woman. It’s what I’m attracted to.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 1987 Yesterday when I was out, Mom called and Kevin said a Karen W was to call me after noon which is anytime now to tell me what they have to offer. For some strange reason, I doubt this will be heaven. I think she’s trying to get me in some supervised halfway house or something. The last thing in the world I’m going to do is be a kid again on a point system with rules and restrictions where there’s no way out. I sure hope there are no nuts in this place. Or males. If they say you can’t smoke in certain areas or eat at certain times or want to know wherever you go, then I’ll know it’s Valleyhead all over again, a private “school” I attended from ages 16-18 that was total hell. I will not give up any of my freedom. If my parents have me walk into a trap again then I’ll know I’m still not the perfect daughter they’re looking for yet. Or maybe I’ll just give in and let myself be fucked over yet again.

Yesterday I told Kevin to stay in my apartment while I took the car out by myself. I did fine except for the fact that I left the lights on and needed jumper cables. So a guy in the parking lot gave me a jump and sent me on my merry way.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1987 I haven’t written since Wednesday night when I slept over at Mary’s place. I am upset with her for not returning the $5 I lent her for dinner as she promised and have been broke all weekend. My checks were supposed to come yesterday, and they didn’t as usual, so I am going to talk to them tomorrow. They think they’re missing a digit in my account number, so the computer is rejecting it and the money’s delayed a day.

I still have to go to court. I didn’t because I have been too sick. I have a bad cold and now I know why last Thursday they said I had a high white blood cell count. I literally forced myself to work out today at about 4 PM and now I am sicker than a dog, but I needed to get the hell away. When I sit at home all day, I get very depressed. I will work out tomorrow, too.

Thursday, I was very depressed and was looking so forward to therapy, but Trisha was out sick. Debbie at the desk said she tried to call me, but I wasn’t home.

I invited Fran P, my old neighbor who used to live next to Kevin, over earlier but he was expecting company, so he’ll come over next weekend. I may invite Kevin over later but I’m a little sick of his company and I really can’t wait till I have my own car (if I can get over my driving phobia). No, I’m not intimate with either Kevin or Fran.

Later…

I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep well tonight since I slept late this morning. Oh well. I’ll probably read all night or write.

Tomorrow I’m going to go pay my rent and I want to call the bank and also go down there and see if they can figure out my checkbook. I fucked it up again with my shitty math.

I also have to pay Jean for those two singing lessons I took and I’m going to once again force myself to go work out. I need to get out and get the exercise, but I’ll probably feel worse after with this damn cold.

Tomorrow night mom’s going to be calling me to tell me about someplace in Florida she thinks I’d like living at. I hope it’s just what I need and want. She also says she thinks she can fly me down sooner than January.

I wonder how my birthday will go this year. It seems Dec. 3rd the day before my birthday always brings me good luck. In ‘85 I moved out on my own. In ‘86 I got my license. What will happen this year?

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 1987 I got up today at 8 AM, made coffee, and listened to music. At 9 AM I was fully dressed nicely and then Kevin and I went to Friendly’s for breakfast. We are now going to the Fairfield Mall in Chicopee so he can do some inventory, part of his job.

I just got back from buying new kitchen curtains from Bradlee’s. Surprisingly enough I ran into Mattie I, who lives next door to me, working as a cashier. She helped me as far as measurements. Thank God for her as I would’ve gotten the wrong size. Kevin is still in there counting ties and belts.

When I get home I’m going to hang up my new curtains, then eat, listen to music and lay down till my 3:30 appointment. I have asked Kevin if he will go with me. He said yes, but Dr. H, my shrink, may say no. I doubt she’ll say no, though.

I am at Mary C’s for the night. She’s another old neighbor/friend. We are watching Halloween.

I see Trisha, my therapist, at 2pm tomorrow, then after that, I have to go to the post office for a certified letter and stamps. After that, I need to go to court to drop charges since Nellie paid me for the radio/cassette player her boyfriend stole from my kitchen. She also gave me $40 earlier this evening.

I hope that the medication for my side effects helps and that I stay feeling good that my bad times get less and less and that I’ll always be able to cope.

I also hope tomorrow I start receiving some of the books I ordered. According to Nellie, she hasn’t received hers yet and I would think she’d receive hers before I got mine, as she is a new member.

I think I’m gonna hit the sack soon. The only bad thing about staying here at Mary’s is that it’s freezing in here and this place is so filthy and smelly it drives me nuts.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1987 Springfield, MA My Apartment on Oswego Street…

NOTE: I wrote journals by hand from 10/27/1987 till 6/1/98 when I went all-digital. I have typed up all the handwritten journals, which I no longer have today.

Jenny C, whom I’ve known since 4th grade, came over at about 9:30. I’m 21, she’s 22. I was very tired when I woke up and I still am. The medication I got last night really wipes me out. It’s funny how some medications just don’t agree with me. She made us coffee and some toast. Then after that, she took a shower and I listened to music and then laid down for a while. When I got up I went to the mall in Enfield with Jenny and bought this journal. She wants me to go work out but I am just too tired. So, here I am in this mall just wishing I had money to shop with. I could really go for some new clothes.

When I came home I fell asleep till the mailman woke me up with a certified letter from the bank. Nellie R, who lives two doors away, owes me a total of $175 for having me cash those checks she stole that I didn’t know were stolen. She’ll be paying me $40 every 15 days. It won’t be for almost 3 months till I’m reimbursed.

I am going to tell the doctor that I want off this medication and I’m sure she’ll suggest something else even though I seem to have side effects from everything I take.

I am now at Friendly’s with Kevin T, an old neighbor/friend.

Instead of lying down I took a bath, washed my hair and put it in a ponytail with my new pink ribbon. I am wearing my sweatshirt dress which I just found the other day hiding way in the back of my closet.

Kevin and I are now talking about his kids and just bullshitting about odds and ends. He’s divorced, 45 years old, and his ex is down in CT. He hasn’t seen her or his two boys in quite a while.

I am home now and Kevin and I are watching TV as I sip coffee and write. Before, I was in the process of doing a major clean-up. I finished vacuuming and after my coffee, I must finish cleaning the bathroom and then dust and mop. Housecleaning is very tedious and boring but if I put it off another day it’ll never get done.

Kevin is going to go with me tomorrow to the doctor's. I hope all goes well.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1987 Read First! I'm moving this to the front of my journal even though it's actually 2023 that I write this.

Welcome to my decades of journaling! While I've always emphasized that I primarily write for my own personal expression, I do hope that my words may offer help or inspiration to anyone who finds them valuable. Throughout the years, my journaling has chronicled a diverse range of experiences, including moments of joy, sorrow, adventure, and fear.

However, it's important to acknowledge that some of my writings are controversial and, yes, have been perceived as hateful and racist by some. I want to be upfront about this so there are no surprises. If such content is not in alignment with your preferences, I encourage you to feel free to leave. Nobody is obligated to read my writings, and if certain aspects trouble you, please don’t torture yourself by reading.

Many years ago, I was victimized by individuals of different racial backgrounds who used their connections to law enforcement to target me in the name of revenge. This unfortunate experience, understandably, led me to express sentiments that some might consider racist. Much like how a woman who has suffered abuse may develop distrust or prejudice against men, my writings during that time were driven more by their behavior than by race or color. At times, I may have used racially charged language as a form of venting and provocation, knowing that it would upset them. But really, it was never about race or color. It was about them. But like any human being, I occasionally said and wrote things in the heat of the moment that some may find offensive. I firmly believe that while we can't make people like or love us, we certainly can make people harbor animosity if we mistreat them.

I also acknowledge that the younger, more naive me may stated things as facts that I honestly believed at the time were facts, yet may not have been. Not just regarding the welfare bums but things in general.

During this period, I shared excerpts from my journal with the individuals involved, which they later termed as stalking, despite the fact that I was only documenting information as advised by the police for potential legal recourse in the future. Nonetheless, I sent them copies as a way of venting when we moved (they lived next to us). Well, instead of doing the grown-up thing by not reading what they didn't like, they used it against me and I was manipulated into pleading guilty for something I didn't know I was pleading guilty for. I thought I was being charged with sending the journals but instead, it was supposedly a threatening letter. I did send a less-than-kind letter to these sickos but that was many years prior which led me to believe that someone else they pissed off sent the letter and they assumed it was me. Either that or their cop friend wrote it up and thrust it into my hands during interrogation to get my fingerprints on it when showing me “evidence” that was clearly falsified.

The point is that I lost half a year of freedom and thousands of dollars due to these people's vindictiveness when all I did was express myself. It may not have been in the way they agreed with and wanted to hear but they harassed me for years and I reacted. It was that simple. I make no apologies for anything I ever said to these people be it with my voice or in print.

And yes, I sometimes, in a fit of anger, said something to the effect of wanting to strangle, throttle, beat, kick, slap, or punch various people here and there. Like one sometimes mutters these things under their breath when pissed at someone, I vented in print. However, none of these threats, if you could even call them threats, are meant to be taken literally. It's easy to say we'll do this, this, and that to someone who's crossed us but unless someone's literally trying to harm me, my husband, pets, or property, I'm as harmless as a butterfly. This is a journal. Not a manifesto.

Whether it's common or not, I've had moments in life where I contemplated suicide or at least had thoughts of it, and that too has been expressed in these journals at times and is also not meant to be taken seriously in any way.

My journal is free to anyone who wants to read it but is not open to debate. In other words, I'm not going to argue about some stupid thing I may have written 20 years ago or something I shouldn't have said or done 30 years ago. We all make mistakes, and it's part of my life story.

I also wish to address the unkind things I said about my husband, Tom, in the 90s when we were contemplating having a child. In retrospect, we are glad that we never had children, as it would have placed a tremendous burden on both of us, involving substantial expenses and considerable work while limiting our freedom. My perspective at the time, based on my limited knowledge, was that Tom might have been intentionally avoiding climaxing during our intimate moments to prevent pregnancy. Subsequently, I came to understand that he might have been dealing with low testosterone, but he felt too embarrassed and shy to admit it or seek help.

In hindsight, I'm glad we didn't have children but wish I hadn’t gone through the depression and frustration I experienced during our attempts at starting a family. My earlier belief that medication was the answer has also changed, as I now realize the complexities and potential side effects of hormonal treatments.

Lastly, I want to clear up the thing about God and “Robin.” I was a very emotional person in my younger days and things were a much bigger deal to me than they ever would be today if I was in similar situations. I don't know if there is a God or not but as you'll read, I spent many years rambling about how God hated me and insisted he was controlling and cursing me and my life, and hey, maybe he or something else was at times. I don't know for sure but I do feel a little embarrassed when I read back on those times, LOL, even though we all do and say silly things at times. I just wanted to believe so badly that there really was a God that would listen to me and that cared and that would grant me any reasonable rational prayer I made. But most of my prayers have gone unanswered and I don't know if it’s by design or happenstance. I don't think any of us can really ever know.

Robin was an entity I believed - or at least wanted to believe - was supposedly like a guardian angel, on my side, there to help, to inspire and encourage me, blah blah blah. I don't think I can go so far as to say that Robin was a figment of my imagination and wishful thinking but I don't know that I really ever had this protective spirit hovering over me, especially since quite often things didn't go my way.

I never use real last names unless it's someone famous or infamous. However, I realize that some people may happen to actually have some of the names I've randomly drawn. If this bothers you in any way, don't hesitate to reach out to me (nicely) and let me know. Any threats or ultimatums will be completely ignored.

In summary, my journal spans a wide range of experiences, emotions, and beliefs, and I offer this context to better understand the evolution of my thoughts and feelings over the years as well as what life was like for future generations that may read my life story.

[memo14g]

Clinic Setup and Training Refresher (7/6) || Calvin Ma (UCI)

The LUXURIOUS morning started out with a wake up time at a reasonable time of 5am. Charles had to do what had to be done and turned on the lights. The sudden flash made me see colors that I did not know existed and woke me up. We had a quick breakfast and had to load the bus with all our luggage and memo boxes to start the road trip to Soc Trang!

We started out loading the larger bus with the memo supply boxes and our luggage’s and once it was at full capacity we were met with a predicament that we still had a lot of luggage left. This resulted much of the leftover luggage having to be put in the smaller bus which I WAS IN. The small bus was at full capacity which was kinda funny since they wanted to fit some providers in here and some more luggage too haha…

Getting on the bus I sat with my 14g bullies of which who did not wanna be named. It didn’t take too long till they started their verbal onslaught but as the trooper I was, I fended them off like a monkey guarding its bananas. I took a nap until we made it to our break stop for a bathroom break. These bathroom were the first of which we saw the famous squat toilets and unfortunately some 14gers had no choice to use both boys and girls. The stop also had this really cool pond where where they had a very large fish called an arapaima and doing a quick little research they are fish that are actually native to South America, rarely attack humans unless to protect their eggs, and can be up to 400 pounds. After some selfies with the fishies, we resumed the journey.

After the two hour bus ride we arrived to a very scenic outdoor restaurant that had a lot of greenery. Food was aight and then we went to the clinic to prepare for the clinic days that lied ahead. When first walking in, the clinic was empty and gave old abandoned haunted house vibes due to how empty the building was. The clinic was also very hot as the AC was not turned on for us for some odd reason and only had this gigantic fan that everyone gravitated towards. Let’s just say it was a struggle but we pushed through! The building did have beds for dental lined with all the machines ready to use. We unloaded all the supply boxes and set up the clinic with tables and chairs for tomorrow. A Dental doctor also went over training that we needed to do for tomorrow going over things like cleaning the tools and what to do when contamination occurs.

After prepping the clinic we went to check in to our hotel. However, once we arrived we were hit with catastrophic storm with some crazy rain. It was literally flooding at the hotel as we were getting our bags out of the bus. Luckily everyone made it into their hotels. Being so tired I slept for the whole time until call time for dinner. There was one lightning that was so loud it woke me up, but I went back to sleep pretty easily. At dinner we ate at a restaurant with a slight ant problem as they invaded some of our drinks and served lotus soup. Bus 2 on the way back talked about some deep stuff to which all agreed to keep it in bus 2(Until Kat broke it the next day). We then debriefed the plan for the first clinic day and all went to bed. All and all it was a fun day :D

Above: MEMO’s check out of Saigon and preparing to go to Soc Trang

Above: MEMO lunch and performance

Above: MEMO and clinic heat struggles with big fan

Above: Calvin and his fish friends

Above: Flooding rain but MEMO survived!

[godofvillains-aa]

((Honestly may do just one store tomorrow, and go in early so I can get out early.. My bi weekly doesn’t fall this week, so I just gotta do three stores total this week. Maybe my back will be good for once and wake me up early for work.

[thequeendesi]

Boyfriend

Title: Boyfriend

Alt Title: Dada

Warnings: swearing, Nate jacobs, stalker themes, alluding to physical abuse

Disclaimer: I don’t own you or the euphoria franchise

Rating: MA-16

Word Count: 2.8K

A/N: Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!! l have had so many life changes!! I got a boyfriend, my first real boyfriend lol. I quit my old job and started a new one. I graduate in December and applied for a nursing program for Fall 2023! Life has been crazy

Tag List: @ellyskey , @minaxcarter , @leslienjazzy y , @write-from-the-heart , @local-bxbby y , @twdbaddie1090 , @multiharlot t , @lovesanimals0000

—-

You looked at your phone, a notification from Facebook popping up to let you know about you have memories to look back on. You sat back against your car’s seat as you pressed the memories tab. You smiled a little, your maternity photos being the first thing to pop up.

You remembered that day, Nate and you fought the night before which made your anxiety so severe you woke up in the middle of the night throwing up. You tried leaving his house, after waking to throw up, to Kat’s, but he convinced you to stay.

You were so miserable in your photos, but the act you laid on was thick. You took them alone, which helped your anxiety because Nate didn’t want to be a part of them.

The next day was your birthday, which also happened to be the day you had your bundle of joy. Flynn Sylas Jacobs.

You scrolled down the page of memories and saw a picture of you and Fez. You two were 13 in the picture, he had an arm around your shoulder and you were hugging his side. His grandmother, Marie, took the picture, and for 2 years it was your profile picture.

No matter which boy entered your life, left your life, hurt you or did whatever else to you, Fez was always the best constant.

You smiled a little, resharing the photo, tagging him in the post.

Your phone vibrated as ‘El <3’ texted you. “Morning hon” the text read.

“Mornin’. How’d you sleep?”

“Slept. Would’ve slept better if you were here.”

You laughed a little at his text. “I bet. Not to brag, but I can put babies to sleep pretty quick.”

You got out of your car, grabbing your purse. You had just gotten off from your 9PM-5AM and were picking up Flynn from your mother’s. You locked your car and turned to walk to the door.

“I’m sure. What’s the plan for today?”

You walked to the door, reading his text.

Humming to yourself, you used your key to open the door.

Opening the door, you responded to him. “Getting a cake for Flynn’s birthday party. Took off tomorrow and the rest of today off for him.” You walked into the house and locked the door behind yourself.

Your mom slept on the couch, Flynn in the pack and play in front of her, her hand draped in as he held his hand up to hold her finger.

You smiled at the scene.

“Isn’t it your birthday tomorrow too?“

You turned off your phone, then put it in your pocket, walking over to your mom. “Hi mom.” You said softly, rubbing her shoulder.

She rubbed her eyes and sat up. “Mmm… hi lovebug.” She said, looking at you.

“Work went well?” She asked.

You nodded. “It was work.” You sat next to her, resting your head on her shoulder.

She leaned her cheek on your forehead. “You wanna take a quick nap before taking Flynn back to your house?”

You nodded a little. She put an arm around your shoulder, letting you doze off.

***

You picked your head up, rubbing your eyes as the smell of coffee and breakfast hit you.

“Mornin’ sunshine.” Your dad said, sitting in his recliner. “It’s 10AM.” He commented. “I hope you slept well.” He nodded at you, Flynn sat on his lap, enjoying hitting the paper in his hands.

You smiled a little, nodding.

“I got the cutest picture of your father and Flynny.” Your mom gushed, showing you her phone.

Flynn’s hands were on your dad’s chin as both of them had a big laugh.

“He was telling him a story and he was very dramatic with his laughter.” Your mom explained.

You smiled a little, a little saddened you slept through it, but god knew you needed it. “I made some breakfast. Eat. I know you’re hungry.” Your mom patted your shoulder, plucking Flynn from your fathers arms.

You nodded, walking into the kitchen to fix yourself a plate and eat.

Your brother sat at the table, smiling a little at you. “Did mom tell you I got first place at the center’s science show? Went classic, volcano.” He explained. You always enjoyed his nerd side, you missed seeing him and his group in the halls of high school before you graduated early for Flynn.

“She did! I texted you congrats dork. You’d know if you learned to text back.” You swore he lived his life on DND.

“Oh. Yea.” He shrugged a little, eating his food.

“How’s school?” You asked.

“School. Everyone’s still making little comments about Lexi’s play.” He said back.

“Wow.” You said, eating your own plate.

“Hey, do you need help setting up for Flynn tomorrow?” He asked, finishing his plate. “A little. But it’s ok if you’re not able to.”

“(Name), I wouldn’t ask if I couldn’t. Just let me know what you need help with, and I got you.” He said, nudging your shin with his foot.

You smiled a little and nodded. “Thanks.” You finished your plate. “I’ll text you the plan when I get home. I gotta take Flynn with me to get his cake.” You stood up and took your plate to the sink.

“Gotcha.” He nodded and grabbed your plate and began his normal routine.

“Thanks mom.” You hugged her tight and picked up Flynn and slung his baby bag over your shoulder.

“See you tomorrow at the park.” You said, walking out of the house.

***

Nate tapped his finger on the wheel. His eyes trailing Elliot, who sported a deep bruise on his collar bone. “Fuck.” He grumbled, punching the wheel. He knew who it was from, you.

“Elliot!” He shouted out the window, stepping out of the truck.

Elliot stopped in his tracks.

“You got a hickey from her? I told you to leave her alone, didn’t I?” Nate asked, fists clenched as he made contact with Elliot’s face. Elliot’s feet slipped from under him as his ass made contact with the gravel.

A slew of swears escaped his slips as he stared up at Nate. His hand cupping his upper cheek where Nate hit.

“Fuck man.” Elliot stood up. “She made the choice to talk to me!” He shouted at him. “Leave me alone you fuckin psycho.”

“Shut your junkie ass up.” Nate said, grabbing his shirt collar pulling the shorter male to his feet.

“I’m not one anymore!” Elliot responded.

The two froze as Elliot’s phone rang. “Answer it, pretty boy.“

“So you admit I’m prettier than you?” Elliot smirked, taking Nate’s freeze as an opportunity to run, but he didn’t get far.

***

You buckled Flynn into his car seat, and tightened the straps to fit him snuggly but be mindful of his breathing. “Alright buddy.” You said. To your relief, Flynn never really minded his car seat. He didn’t love it, but he tolerated it at the very least. You closed his door after placing the bag in the seat next to him and your purse in the passenger seat.

You got into the driver's seat and buckled up. “Hey sweetheart, change of plans. You think you can pick me up early? It’s cool if you can’t, but my bike was broken.”

You bite your lip as you look in the mirror at the mirror that showed Flynn, who stared at the toy in his hands. You had planned to let Elliot meet Flynn tomorrow.

“Uh. Yea. But I was about to pick up Flynn’s cake. That ok? He’s with me.” You texted, waiting for his text.

“I don’t think that’s best right now. I don’t want him to see what his father did.”

Your heart sank, eyes swelling with tears. Your hand began to shake as you called him. “What did his father do?” You immediately asked him as he answered the phone. You knew exactly what he did, but you needed to know from him.

“He, uh… there’s no nice way to say this (Name). He kicked my ass.”

“Oh my god.” You muttered. “I… fuck. I don’t… I don’t know what to say other than I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll pay you back for the movie tickets I swear.” You stuttered out, you hated the way you were reacting. He was the one who got beat, and you were the one freaking out for him.

“What? Why’d you need to pay me back for the tickets? I got some licks in. I just don’t wanna be bloody for when I meet your kid.”

You paused, your breath caught in your throat. “You… you still want to meet Flynn?” You asked, eyebrows narrowing.

“Yea.” He answered, without hesitation.

“Elliot. Nate hurt you. He put someone in jail for Maddy after almost killing the guy.” You put your phone on Bluetooth and connected the phone to your car.

“So? I’ve been through worse. It is what it is. I still wanna be your boyfriend.” He said, your eyes widened a little as you began the drive to Walmart. “Boy friend? Mine?”

“Boyfriend. One word. Don’t put the space in between.” Elliot said, foot steps being heard in the phone call.

“Even though Flynn’s dad could’ve just killed you?” You asked him, watching everything as you drove as carefully as possible with Flynn calmly playing with his toy.

“I like you. You’re something I feel sure of. I need you more than any other vice. I wanna spend all my time with you, ma.” He said into the phone.

“El.” You sighed. “I’ll give it a try, if you wanna give it a try.”

“So you’d be my girl? As in girlfriend. The one without a space in between.” He teased you on the phone.

“And you know my son comes first.”

“I’d cut you off personally if you didn’t put him first.” Elliot said, with a serious undertone to his joking voice.

“You got someone who can pick you up to get you to a shower?” You asked, he was right about not letting Flynn see someone who was most likely drenched in blood.

“Yea.” He answered. “Hey, I’ll call you when I’m all clean and I’ll help you over at the park to pre-set up Flynn’s party.”

“Oh, alright.” You said, him hanging up the phone quickly.

***

“Stop, that’s (Y/N).” Nate said as Cal slowed to a stop at the stop sign. Cal nodded. “It is. So is Flynn.” He said, looking at the baby in his high chair as you got together some decorations.

“Flynn’s birthday is tomorrow. She’s setting up for it, what it looks like.” Cal observed. “I know it’s his birthday tomorrow. Christ dad. What kinda monster you take me for?“ Nate snapped, grabbing his phone.

“What’re you doing?” Cal asked, looking into his rear view mirror. “I think it’s best for Flynn if we continue home.” He said, emphasizing Flynn’s name. “Shouldn’t I help prepare for my son’s birthday? Help the mother of my child?” Nate scoffed.

“She’d ask if she needed any.” He said plainly. “She’s capable enough.” Cal said, driving forward making Nate watch you shrink in the distance.

Silence filled the vehicle as Nate stared out of the window. “Didn’t you begin dating someone new anyways? What was her name? Cassie?”

“We broke up.”

“For how long?”

Nate’s jaw clenched, his father’s continual questioning of him wasn’t necessary right now. He had a goal in his mind, to mend his family. After all, what they say about the first baby mama is true.

“If I wanted to be with Cassie, do you think I’d still be chasing after (Name)?” Nate asked, eyebrows narrowing as he turned his gaze to Cal’s.

“It’s you, son. I don’t think I need to answer further.” The father said simply.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Nate pressed. “I’m not engaging in this Nate. We’re almost home. What you do on your own time, is your business. But I’m not going to let you fuck with that girl on my watch.” Cal said, firmness in his voice.

Cal knew, no matter what he did or said, Nate was going to do what he pleased. The least Cal could do was prolong your tragic fate when Nate’s finally able to reach you. Cal remembered one of the last fights the two of you had. Marsha spent 30 minutes in the bathroom, sobbing silently to herself as she cleaned your drying blood and broken glass off the floor.

Driving in silence, Cal’s mind raced. His brain was always loud, but this time it was fast and loud. He can’t believe the son he raised, but he does. Nate was the explanation of surroundings. After all, Cal wasn’t even that much of a better person than his own son. Who he personally heard was called a monster.

Cal parked his car, Nate quickly getting out of the car. “Son. Please, leave her be. Your son will watch your moves.” Cal reminded him, using Flynn as a pawn in his example.

Nate snarled to himself, took a deep breath before a seemingly genuine smile putting itself on his face. “Fine. Dad. You’re right. I couldn’t let my son turn into a monster.”

****

You sat on your couch, Flynn stumbling around the room. He figured his legs out earlier that day, and since he’s been trying to walk everywhere. “Flynn.” You called out to him.

He looked up at you, a wide smile spreading across his face as you snapped a picture with your Polaroid. You mentally jumped for joy as you hoped the picture captured your son’s perfectness.

He stumbled out to you, arms outstretched in front of him as you swooped in to pick him up and kiss all over his face, making him squeal and hold your face.

You walked over to the kitchen and grabbed his bottle, knowing it was about that time to feed him “It’s only 2.” You noted to yourself, giving him the bottle.

He grabbed it with one hand and began drinking as he watched you try and make a decision of what you wanted to do. You ended up putting up almost all decorations alone in an hour and ended up wanting to go home. You plan on waiting until tomorrow before putting any of the specialized Flynn stuff up. You had no worry because you made sure to use your parents' community to have the party, older people.

Elliot wasn’t really due to come over for an hour or so, but you found yourself missing your… boyfriend.

“Mama has a boyfriend Flynn.” You said to him, knowing he was more interested in his bottle than your boyfriend. “Mama has a boyfriend that isn’t mean to her.” You said to yourself, joy rising in your body. “He likes to sing bubba.” You told him, walking over to the couch. “And playing the guitar. I wanna see if he’ll play the ukulele.” You smiled to yourself, sitting on the couch, Flynn on your lap. “I waited a few months before letting you meet him bub. Mama can get hundreds of boyfriends.”

You kissed his nose as he looked up at you, almost out of his bottle. “But mama only has one Flynn.” He shook his empty bottle at you. You laughed a little and placed the bottle on the table.

Flynn got off your lap and sat on the couch and pointed at the TV. Rubbing circles on his chest repeatedly. “Yes sir.” You laughed softly, you turned on his favorite show, paw patrol.

You checked your phone, missed call from ‘El <3’ 2 minutes ago.

You pressed the notification, placing your phone to your ear. “Hey princess.”

“Hey El. You ok?” You asked, leaning back against the couch, Flynn placing his head on your lap. “Yea. I’m chill.” He responded.

“I just… I just can’t be alone right now. Can I come over already? Something happened and it’s just… it’s not putting me in a good state and I just… I need you.” Elliot said into the phone.

“Yea. Sure of course.”

“Awesome, cause I’m in your doorway.” He said, a knock at your door following afterwards.

You hung up the phone and answered the door.

Your heart sank as you noticed the bruising on his face and knuckles.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him close. His arms wrapped themselves around your waist. “I’m so sorry El.” You nearly sobbed into his neck. “I’ll wear sunglasses tomorrow. It just looks like make up right now. Tomorrow it’ll look a little worse.” He tried to make you laugh a little.

“It’s okay baby girl. You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything.” He cupped your face. “You ain’t at fault.” He pecked your lips then looked at Flynn.

Flynn stared at Elliot. “Hi buddy.”

Flynn looked behind you and Elliot, his eyes meeting something’s. “Dada?”

You looked up from Elliot’s shoulder, eyes meeting Nate fucking Jacobs.

[chaeinedup]

Friends by chance, lovers by fate

pairing: Park Jongseong x reader

summary: Spring was way more than just the flower season, but like those all it takes is time.

content warning: None  i don’t think.

Every monday morning you woke up early to have a silent walk and bathe in the rising sunlight as you love taking time for yourself as much as possible. With so many duties at home and your job, it was rare when you did catch a break so waking at 5am it was. Normally these walks bring nothing more than personal enjoyment and 1 or 2 animals that crossed your path. But this specific day, not something, but someone walked the same trail as you. Sure there’s plenty people that wake up early but this was a more reserved area where only people that really knew the area would venture into it.

You walked closer, following the noises that were heard from behind all the trees, meaning the person was right at the edge of the lake. You hid behind one of the bigger trees, making sure you wouldn’t frighten the other person. They were throwing rocks and seeing if they bounced in the water, you thought it was wholesome and smiled to yourself. You wondered if you should say something but they were faster than you.

??: Are you gonna stay there forever?

They didn’t even turn to you, their back was facing you and so that got you wondering what betrayed you.

Y/N: Was I that loud?

??: No, just enough for me to hear the leafs crunch. What brings you here?

Y/N: Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?

You started walking torwards them, sitting in a bench. They finally looked back at you and your mind couldn’t believe your eyes. How did someone this beautiful exist? and how did you find them in a random stroll this early in the morning. If it wasn’t for the freezing wind you would second guess your vision and tell yourself you were dreaming. It was like the cat took your tongue and not a single vowel could leave your mouth.

??: Are you okay? Did you really just freeze on me?

Y/N: No I just....well to be completly honest I’m offended, you’re prettier than me.

You realised that came out a little too blunt when the coffee he was sipping came out rushing from his mouth.

??: Give me a warning next time, coffee isn’t cheap nowadays.

Y/N: I’m really sorry that just came out, but at least now I have an excuse to ask you out. Can I please buy you a more than deserved coffee?

??: How could I ever say no to such a good offer?! Except the fact that most coffe shops are still closed.

Y/N: Don’t worry that will give us plenty time to know each other.

And that’s exactly what happened, interests were shared, opinions were given but most of all, a frienship was blossoming, one so beautiful even the flowers all around were jealous. You liked that morning so much that you both promised to meet every monday, alternating every week on who would be in charge of bringing the coffee. That day and location became yours in the same instant you became each others.

With time you finally learned all about him, his name is Jay and he’s the same age as you. Safe to say you became best friends in a very short period of time, the more you hung out the more you missed each other when left with each others scent on one another, both of you realised where this was heading but you weren’t sure how to approach the other end.

But one day he thought that it was more than time to come clear about his feelings, and he tried his hardest to make it as special as possible, without you suspecting anything. So he texted you on a sunday night, “I know tomorrow is your turn of bringing the coffee but I got us covered, I have something new for us to try!”. Of course you didn’t think anything of it’s just coffee afterall, for you yes, but the poor guy can’t even sleep that night. It was such a calming night for you, you took a nice shower, pampered yourself with the best skin care, home cooked dinner and a very happy mind, knowing you were gonna see your so called other half. While his night was the complete opposite, he had been thinking about this days prior so he began preparing for this a while back, but that still didn’t make the panic decrease. He was determined that it had to go just how he pictured, the nicest picnic breakfast for the nicest person he knew, the one he cared the most and the one he would die for. Boy was he a hopeless romantic, but so were you. That’s the only thing stopping him from having a full on mental breakdown, he knows you’ll appreciate the effort and be moved by such a heartfelt confession.

The sun rose, and so did you. You looked outside and took a deep breath, damn did it feel good to be loved. It’s not what you thought but what your heart felt every time you thought about Jay. You got ready and texted him you were heading his way. He got the text while he was preparing his little gourmet breakfast, all the cookies he baked last night, perfectly plated on one corner with 2 beautiful boxes of macaroons while the other had the new coffee he promised and 2 glasses of orange juice. In the middle was a tiny vase with your favourite flowers and the ones that were blossoming when you first met, now fully coloured and standing proud. Just like him when you arrived.

Your first reaction was to stare at the view infront of you ad it took you back to when this all started, but you weren’t hiding behind a tree and he wasn’t facing the lake, he was facing you and with with the prettiest smile you’d ever seen. It never gets old. You walked to the little buffet on the ground.

Y/N: I thought it was new coffee, not hotel service.

Jay: Funny, that was a good one, but well there was no reason for me to not do this so lets take a seat and dig in, before some squirrel steals all my hard work away.

And so you sat, and of course you enjoyed eerything he made, even the heart shapped watermelon cut outs, deep down you had a feeling of why he did this and you did love it but you felt guilt that maybe you weren’t showing him the same effort he was showing you. With you in your head it was inevitable for him to get in his, he started thinking of how to say it and all the ways you would react and how he would respond to that. After a few seconds of silence you looked at him and slightly opened your mouth as a sinal that you were going to talk but he best you to it.

Jay: I like you. And not like a best friends, i mean that too but not just like that. So many sleepless nights thinking about you and your hand on mine. I promised myself i wouldn’t stop until I made you mine and I don’t care how selfish this sounds right now because I just truly want you to understand how much you mean to me, I want to take care of you and if that means i have to bake cookies every day I gadly will.

Your mouth was now closed, complete silence from you and the surroundings. You were trying to process his confession the best you could, it felt surreal that you were living that moment right now. 

Y/N: Damn you pretty boy, you can’t offer me cookies as persuasion you never I can never say nooo!

You said this to lighten up the mood and he was glas, that silence freaked him out a little bit and anxiety started crawling up his body.

Y/N: And as bad as I am talking about feelings, I can’t deny them any longer, I like you too.

Jay didn’t even realise he was holding his breath until your last words came out and so did his first breath. He layed down on the towel underneath you and closed his eyes laughing in relief. 

Jay: You scared me with that silence DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!

You rested your head on his chest and layed besides him.

Y/N: I told you I’m not good with expressing myself.

Jay: It’s okay it’s one of the things I love about you.

He caressed your back with his right hand and locked fingers with you with the left one. The sun was hitting you both in the face, you both felt so comforted and happy you didn’t know why but your souls knew, nothing ever happens by chance.

masterlist

[illumilu]

there’s only one bed” - illumi zoldyck x reader

a/n: a very stereotypical cliche for fanfics, but, yk what? cringe makes the world go round. so here, have my drabbling of what would happen if you were to spend an unwanted night in the same hotel bed as the adultrio. i feel like i may have made this way too long again, but who cares?? this time it’s with illumi! aka loml ...

summary: after a lengthy car trip, you arrive at the hotel with illumi, but to your horror (wink wink), there’s only one bed. including: you dreaming abt him when he’s literally right in front of you (embarrassing). this is part two of a three-part series, with the adultrio. hisoka is already written and chrollo will be coming soon!

warnings: no particular trigger warnings, lowercase intended, a lot of fluff! and cuddling! only on your part though, since illumi is basically awkwardness personified... no nsfw <3

illumi zoldyck:

- the trip to the hotel had taken 6 hours. 6 hours in which you had fallen asleep multiple times, cramped your legs, somehow made every sleeping position dangerously uncomfortable, cracked your neck��and twisted your back, possibly to the point of no return.

- for mr zoldyck, or rather, “illumi”, as he had instructed you to call him, the trip was no problem. his upbringing, which consisted of mainly torture, included staying awake for as long as a fortnight at a time. 6 hours may as well have been a few minutes. 

- “the silent son of the zoldycks” was his reputational nickname, or, rather, “lifeless koi fish”, as your friend, hisoka, enjoyed calling him. either way, illumi was not going to let a car ride tire him.

- when you had first met him, he had scared you. a lot. the entire “trained dangerous traumatised assassin” storyline was one that felt like a threat. you were undoubtedly taking a risk by working with him, but it was one you were willing to; it may have been twisted, but murder was your forte, and you were searching for a partner.

- over time, you had grown to be less intimidated by him.

- you were now colleagues with him, working on a new assassination.

- shockingly, planning murder took time, and who better to plan it with than the assassin himself? you had spent the past day on a “business trip”, paid for by illumi’s grandfather, where you sized up the area and familiarised yourself with yorknew.

- all for the big night.

- tonight was the day before the murder of the ten dons.

- illumi and kalluto would carry out the murder, while you made sure everything went smoothly, via a small mic attached to his clothes. the entire operation was based on trust, and would therefore be executed like clockwork.

- you had taken the necessary mental images and kept the targets in mind; all that was left was a night at a pre-booked hotel and then it would be go-time.

- you had assumed that the hotel would be high-class, with doormen, perhaps some marble flooring and pillars - it was the zoldycks who were paying, after all, and you knew they had money to spare. 

- “we’re here.” illumi stated blankly, face reflecting in the window. admittedly, he did look a little bit like a koi fish.

- you nudged past him to look out of the window, leaning over to get a good view.

- oh.

- it seemed you had made quite the overestimation. it was a simple, plain building with a few stories. no doormen or extravagance could be sighted.

- you supposed keeping a low profile was important, but the depressing accommodation was somehow making you wearier.

- the two of you didn’t exchange any conversation on the way up to your room, but you were used to that. 

- you and illumi had met around 5 months ago, and most of it had been comfortable silence. you hadn’t expected it to be like that - in all honesty, you had expected him to kill you - but illumi seemed... calm around you. 

- it was probably because you shared such an odd passion with him; the logistics of murder. you assumed it gave him a chance to loosen his harsh demeanour and enjoy himself. the both of you had worked on multiple murders together, focusing on theory and planning, but this was a huge assassination. nevertheless, you knew he could pull it off; illumi was smart, you had to give him that.

- finally, you arrived at your hotel room, sighing from the lengthy stairway winding up to your unnecessarily high room. you assumed it was for safety purposes, but for god’s sake; why did safety have to be so enervating?

- illumi pushed the door open, and you walked in with him. finally, you could catch some rest.

- except, you couldn’t. 

- a singular bed placed in the middle of the room.

- “why.” you thought to yourself tiredly. 

- you stood there silently, waiting for him to say something. 

- then, you remembered that he was illumi. he obviously wouldn’t see anything wrong with the situation. 

- the bastard.

- it didn’t help that he gave you no visible reaction when you stared at him with your face scrunched up expectantly, as if to ask what his plan was.

- “is there a problem, y/n?” illumi asked, his tone flat as usual.

- you took a deep, worn out breath, clearing your throat.

- after a bit, you shook your head. this was strictly professional. illumi wouldn’t do anything, because he was illumi. nothing would happen.this was an important night, where rest and a clear mind were essential. blame it on the fatigue, and nothing else. you were just exhausted. there was nothing else to it. nothing.

- “no. i’m just a little tired.” you dismissed.

- a silence skimmed past.

- “my grandfather... he often tends to be absentminded. occasionally, he forgets to do certain things, or plan them correctly, i suppose. you could say this is a prime example of such.”

- “zeno forgot another goddamn bed, hm?” you laughed nervously.

- illumi stared at you once again, blinking a few times, in a methodical manner, face neutral and robotic. you smiled awkwardly and remembered that he was not one to laugh at jokes. or anything, for that matter. 

- you wondered if he laughed at bloodshed. or maybe hisoka.

- “i’m going to... go to set up my stuff now.” 

- turning your back to illumi, you winced at the uncomfortable air. even after all your time with him, you never learnt to stop trying to lighten the mood. the mood was literally just always unnatural, in some way. that was another one of illumi’s specialties.

- after some time, in which you had finalized tomorrow's plan and each changed into comfortable clothes, you watched illumi tie his hair up from across the room. 

- his hair had always fascinated you. 

- you had always wanted to touch it. honestly, even when you had first met him, apart from his magnetic eyes, you had been drawn to his hair. you imagined it felt like silk sheets, caressing over one’s hands as smoothly as honey. you were glad he grew it out; in fact, upon seeing his teenage photos, you had laughed so hard you ended up getting a nosebleed from hitting your face. illumi had been left in confusion for a while.

- you realized how random you sounded. why were you reminiscing so much? 

- shaking yourself back to your senses, you admired as he artfully twisted his hair into a loose bun, strands of hair cupping his elegant, pale face.

- what a beautiful koi fish.

- most people couldn’t compute that illumi had true, human feelings. after all, it would be hard to believe a man like him felt anything. but, of course, he did, unhealthily so. he channeled all his trauma and hurt into his villainy, and received happiness from his villainy, anger from his villainy and occasionally fear from his villainy.  however, there was one emotion he could never grasp. he hated himself for it, but soon realised he could manipulate his hatred into villainy, too.

- illumi was a man who could manipulate anyone or anything he wished. 

- except himself.

- internally, he had always felt at a loss whenever he confronted his emotions. but, after he had met you, something had changed. as he caught you staring at his hair through the hotel mirror, he couldn’t help but feel something small stir inside of his stomach. not evil, not happiness, not hatred, not anger. perhaps, friendship?

- this tinge of new emotion inside of him initially made him feel uneasy, but that worry morphed into giddiness, a childish high buzzing somewhere in his core.

- eventually, he stood up to face you and suggested going to sleep. you checked the time on the wall clock. 8 in the evening. well, illumi had always been particular. you agreed that rest was essential for tomorrow.

- you hesitantly took the left side, and, upon seeing your choice, illumi followed to lie on the right.

- after a few minutes, you looked back at him, noticing illumi fell asleep abnormally quickly. you furrowed your brow quizzically at the rock-like manner he was in. frankly, he looked like a plank when he slept. you almost laughed, but held it in for his sake. 

- he had a very specific sleep schedule, as did the other zoldycks. he could go to sleep immediately at his own command, and stayed perfectly still as he did so. he woke up at 5 in the morning every single day, without fail, almost like he had some sort of alarm clock planted in his body. 

- looking at him lying there like a block, you smiled softly. illumi was quite the conundrum to you. you often speculated whether he ever got what he deserved; love, affection, anything really. you knew about his past from when he had told you nonchalantly, within a few weeks of your acquaintance. you always hoped he’d find someone to love him, but doubted whether people would bother looking beyond his bleak surface, and into his excellent mind. lost in thought, you found yourself getting drowsier. you also fell asleep generally quickly, limbs aching from the stupid car ride.

- the night passed.

- illumi was the first to wake up at 5am, stoic and in the same place he had fallen asleep in. no surprise there.

- but you. 

- that was the first thing he saw when his eyes opened.

- he did not expect you to be lying on him lazily, snuggling into his body, arm and leg comfortably wrapped around his side. you were breathing lightly, face burrowing onto the ridge of his chest.

- i suppose you didn’t expect to be there either, which he realized, but the point still remained.

- why were on you his chest.

- “y/n.”

- no answer.

- illumi could have pushed you away; in fact, he could have blown you 983 metres away (his personal record). 

- but he didn’t.

- it wasn’t the thought of disturbing your comfort that stopped illumi from hurling you into oblivion. it wasn’t the fact that he explicitly enjoyed it, either. he remembered that the mission was today; if he were to wake you, and you hadn’t slept enough, you wouldn’t be at your upmost performance.

- the murder of the ten dons was his priority, right? yes. it was. there was no doubt about it. that was the only and final reason he wouldn’t wake you. end of discussion. 

- so, illumi stayed there, waiting for you to wake up and get off of him. 30 minutes passed, and he watched you for every single one.

- hard as it was to admit, watching you rise and fall in sync with his chest made the spark of emotion in his core grow fervently. what had that foreign feeling been? yesterday, he had settled at friendship, but now he wasn’t so sure.

- you looked so peaceful while you slept. less confusing. he remembered the time you had accidentally complimented his hair when the two of you had first met. he had found that amusing. he remembered the time you got a nosebleed from hitting your face too hard - it was after laughing at his teenage pictures, which perplexed him greatly. he remembered the times you two had sat together, working and theorizing on missions, accidentally meeting eyes or brushing hands. one time, you had dipped one of his pins in ink and scratched his name on some paper “for fun”. you had handed it to him and, for some unknown reason, the scrap was still tucked safely in his wallet. your unrivaled intelligence, your idiotic sense of humour, your smile, your lack of common sense, your twinkling eyes that so ironically contrasted his, everything. everything crossed his mind while he lay there.

- illumi found it strange how people remembered the oddest things at the oddest times. 

- why did he think of that now, as you were sleeping? even worse, on the day of a meticulously planned assassination. why couldn’t he manipulate his emotions to stop fluctuating around you so much?

- it all frustrated him.

- why had he let you call him by “illumi” so quickly? mr zoldyck would have been fine. and why had he been so lenient with your antics? no one else got to touch his pins. why did he feel like keeping you on his chest forever, and keeping you safe? most importantly, why was he thinking about you so much?

- his contemplation came to a halt when he heard you stir a little in your sleep.

-  finally, you’d wake up and he could forget about this entire problem.

- he watched you, expecting you to get up soon.

- you began shuffling around, brushing against his chest, and soon your eyes fluttered open, hazy and glazed over. it almost seemed like you were still in a dream, in some sort of half-sleep.

- “huh?” you whispered quietly, still lying on illumi. you looked up lazily, meeting eyes with him.

- “oh... i get it...” you hummed quietly, falling back onto his chest.

- he furrowed his brows.

- “why are you here?” you hugged him from the side, softly laughing at your ridiculous dream. he tensed up at you embracing him, but soon relaxed after realizing what was going on.

- illumi looked at you, one eyebrow raised. did you... think you were dreaming?

- to be honest, he found it kind of entertaining, the way you were fawning over him. if he let you stay there, he could figure out a lot of things about his newly found emotion. it could be worth it. just not today.

- illumi came back to his senses fairly quickly; you were obviously awake now, so why couldn’t you get off of him already?

- “y/n.”

- “mmm? what? so serious��all the damn timeee, illum-” 

- “you aren’t dreaming. get off.”

- SHIT

- SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

- you jolted off him immediately, staring down at illumi zoldyck. 

- the real illumi zoldyck.

- oh my god what. what. what. what.

- every nerve in your body began to panic, and, in the stress of trying to find the correct words to say, you just ended up making some sort of incomputable “aaaahhh” noise and jumping off the bed.

-  illumi had finally gotten up and was now staring concernedly at you.

- an awkward pause.

- “let me just start by saying i did not-”

- “y/n. we have more pressing priorities for today. i don’t care.”

- illumi zoldyck had lied. even to himself. he did care. and so what if he ignored it until it festered so intensely inside of him he couldn’t do anything but tell you? he cared about you. and he knew it.

- “ok. you’re right. you’re right! illumi. one question. was i like that the whole night?”

- “i don’t know. i woke up at 5 and you were there.”

- you looked at the clock. it was 6am? what had he been doing for an hour? you opened your mouth to ask but closed it soon after. you recalled your thoughts about illumi growing up void of affection, or love, or appreciation. 

- some questions were best left unanswered.

- “how long was i... mumbling like that?”

- “a few minutes.”

- you gulped. there were a few things you had to come to terms with. shutting your eyes firmly, you apologised profusely, annoyed at yourself.

- “y/n. i don’t care.” he lied once again.

- “you’re right!” you rambled - “the ten dons are today! it doesn’t matter what i said... none of it matters, we can both just forget it!”

- you sounded like you were trying to convince yourself more than anyone.

- “so all we need to do is go over the plan one last time, get kalluto, and then we’ll carry it out, and soon enou-”

- “stop it. you’re wasting time. just go and get ready.”

- you sighed and smiled weakly. on the inside, you were sure your soul had died a little.

- while you left to change, overcome by embarrassment, illumi lingered by the bed for a few seconds. he tried to push down whatever he was currently feeling, but it was no use. the feeling in his core had risen up to his throat, a burst of something waiting to leave his lips. 

- for the first time in a while, illumi zoldyck smiled. not at murder, or at power, or fulfillment, or achievement, or even villainy.

- illumi zoldyck had smiled at the thought of you.

- let’s just say illumi had trouble focusing on his mission. 

i am honestly so fucking sorry you had to read that whole thing. the way i am literally in love with illumi zoldyck and ended up writing 2857 words bye bye bye i’m so sorry!!! PLZ what?? anyways,, i feel like i heavily underwrote hisoka now, since i did such a prologue thing for this! honestly i feel like this one came out a little boring, im sorry again AAAAA just agh; chrollo should b coming when i have time but i have exams rn so idkkkk hh

either way, likes or reblogs or whatever are super appreciated, but don’t feel forced to or anything! either way, i feel like no one’s gonna see this with my reach LMAOO but anyways thank you for reading, if you made it here! feedback and tips for writing on here are always helpful :)

[please-buckme]

The View From The Fire Escape. (1/3)

Bucky Barnes x gn!reader

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: alcohol? Kinda fluffy.

A/n: Inspo. Came from @buckysm3talarm and *wink wink* *nudge nudge* it’s her birthday! Love you girl! 💖 Also, depending on the feedback I may do a part 2!

Part 2 // Part 3

(Not my gif! I’m sorry @detectiveupton ! I tried to do it the proper way and I couldn’t find it!)

Working at a dinner in Brooklyn sucked. It really sucked. Especially when you work the late shift and don’t get home till just before the sun was about to rise. Luckily, tonight your boss decided to be nice and cut you a bit earlier- 3am instead of 5am; what a gem.

When you finally twist the key to your front door, feeling the air of your apartment on your skin, a loud sigh escapes you. There’s a high or maybe more of a rush you get when you first get home. It’s comparable to taking your socks off in bed; relaxing.

You shrug your jacket from your shoulders, kick your all-stars from your aching feet and change into something comfy. Once you’re dressed down and into more comfortable clothes, you go to the fridge. The feeling of opening your fridge was always underwhelming, since you were barely paying rent you hardly ever had a full fridge. Spotting one of the two beers you had left, you grab it and head to your fire escape.

This had become a nightly thing over the past few months. A rather attractive guy moved in directly across the street from you. He was always up, like you. You honestly started to think he was a vampire or something. There were lights always on, and if they weren’t on the tv was. You checked your watch, 4:30. You should be right on time tonight.

The guy, who you learned’s name is Bucky, woke up every morning from a dead sleep at 4:30am. Had to be nightmares. He was always a little psyched out when he’d wake up. You never asked why. You loved having company at this hour, so you didn’t want to scare him away by asking too personal of questions.

4:31am hit and you sigh, taking a swig from your beer in defeat. You were about to call it a night when he suddenly popped up.

His breathing was heavy, clearly panting. Of course you were curious as to why these nightmares happened so often, but at the same time you knew if he wanted to tell you he would.

Once he calmed down, repositioned himself on the floor, put his arms over his knees, and steadied his breathing, you called out to him.

It was the coolest thing, so you thought. You’d whistle as low as you possibly could, getting louder and louder until he’d hear you. You never go past the first pitch before he’d shoot his head up towards you.

He smirks, walking to his fridge for a beer and then heading to his fire escape as well.

“That never ceases to amaze me.” You laugh, taking another sip of your drink. “How the fuck do you do that.”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” He grins, “You’re home early.”

“Ah, you noticed.” You say, cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “Boss decided to be nice and cut me two hours earlier than usual.”

“Wow, what’d you do with those two whole hours?” He asked, smirking and leaning against the railing of his fire escape.

“Waited for you to wake up.” You admit, laughing into your bottle before taking another sip.

“I guess I’m sort of a creation of habit.” He chuckles. His body relaxes, now sitting in the chair behind him as he fiddles with his bottle.

A silence falls over the both of you, which is normal. Sitting out here in silence just knowing he’s there is more relaxing to you than going in and watching tv. It didn’t hurt that he was half naked either. He is yards away from you but you could still see his perfectly chiseled features. Of course you also noticed the metal arm, but never brought it up. You felt like the arm and the nightmares go into the ill-talk-about-it-when-I-want-to-about-it file, never to be mentioned.

“Why’d he cut you early?” Bucky asked, breaking the silence.

“Oh.. uh, it’s my birthday.” You say sort of nonchalantly. “Well, it was my birthday. I guess it’s technically over now.”

“Ah, someone who works on their birthday has a good work ethic. That’s sexy.” He grins. The deep rasp of his voice makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Happy Birthday, y/n.”

You giggle, a little caught off guard, to say the least.

“Or just shows you how broke I actually am. And thank you.” You both laugh now. It’s a little awkward now because- FUCK DID HE JUST CALL ME SEXY- is all your brain can process at the moment.

Bucky was a natural flirt, that was obvious. Sometimes you’d be able to spit something back at him, but tonight you were almost desperate for him to flirt with you. You’d never seen Bucky up close or anywhere but his fire escape, but you’d come to have a small crush on him.

The nights when he’d sleep in bed you wouldn’t see him. There was internal conflict there. You were glad he’d be sleeping in an actual bed, you assumed, rather than the floor, but he was the only thing that made your dreadful late night shifts worth working. Sometimes you hoped he’d come in to see you, but he never did.

You've been waiting so long for him to make a move that you’re now chomping at the bits. Fortunately, it’s your birthday and you were feeling ballsy. You drank that beer way too fast, meaning you were slightly tipsy and you craved meeting him. Craved knowing how good he probably smells after a morning shower. Craved feeling the cold metal of his fingers against your skin as he ran them along your side, Dirty Dancing style. So, you broke the silence this time,

“You know, I’m off tomorrow if you-“ you trailed off, losing your confidence towards the end.

“Oh, you don’t wanna waste your free time on me.” He sighs, smiling but it’s filled with conflict, pre usual. Such a pretty face to be hidden behind so much remorse.

“I’m here with you now, aren’t I?”

“I suppose.” He says bluntly.

“Nothing crazy, Buck. Just beer and football or ballet. Whatever you’re into.” You chuckle at yourself. You expected to see Bucky laughing with you but when you looked up, he wasnt. He’s up from his chair and leaning over the railing again, seeming almost freighted? You couldn’t tell.

“Buck?” He asks. “Oh shit, it just kinda slipped out. I’m so-“

“No, please,” he interrupted. “Please don’t apologize. I’ll be out front of your building around 11am. Sound good?” He seemed to be on the brink of tears but also happy.

You wanted to know everything about this man. The closer you got, though, the more you realized you’d probably know everything and nothing at all about him. He was those knotted up earphones that were a pain to unravel but worth untangling in the long run.

“11am sounds perfect.” you give him a half smile, not wanting to come off too eager. “I should probably get to bed then, huh?”

“Uh, yeah. Me too.”

You got up, stretched then turned towards your apartment, but not before whispering, “Goodnight, Buck.”

You didn’t know what the nickname held for him and he knew that. It just felt so good and sounded so sweet coming for your lips.

“Goodnight, y/n.” Bucky whispered.

//

Masterlist

A/n: I hope you enjoyed whatever this was lol depending on the feedback I may do a part 2!

Taglist: @haydens-moles @animefangirl425 @valkyrieofthehighfae @aurora-sweet @dinos-lavapit @hoeforcuteguyswithcharmingsmiles @sebbystanlover-vk @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @nebulastarr @meegggoooo @skylerrae-solo @alyssa-skywalker @blondekel77 @gogolucky13 @buckysm3talarm @heavenlyseb @writersbuck @badassbuchanan @buckyownsmylife @buckysdolls @notwithoutbarnes @cherryblossomskye @ladyfallonavenger

[kirishibaby]

Hi I just found your blog I love your writing!!! May I please request how bakugou would react to his S/O snapping and leaving after an argument and how he would make it up to her?

Bakugo making it up to you after a heated argument 

You watched him slam the door on his way out of your shared apartment. You sighed and sunk down into the sofa. His words stung but you knew that he was just tired from working.

Still... it didn't make it hurt any less.

You took your emotionally drained body and dragged yourself to bed. You didn’t know what time Katsuki would be back and frankly you didn’t care.

In the end, you knew it would all work out but right now you just needed to feel loved

So you stripped yourself of your work uniform and dug around in Bakugo’s laundry pile to find one of your favourite hoodies (of his)

It was baggy enough to just cover your underwear, perfect for sleeping.

Then you took yourself to the bathroom, washed your face and brushed your teeth so you wouldn’t feel like shit in the morning.

Then you spotted his cologne,

You sighed, grabbed it off the shelf and sprayed yourself down and the pillow next to you with it.

You tried to sleep, but the darkness and the silence was too overwhelming for your head, so you flicked on the TV for background noise.

It was 2AM, God only knows what kind of crazy shows were on at this hour, but it was enough to send you to sleep quite soon.

Though it wasn’t an easy sleep, you were tossing and turning all night, waking up every so often to the sound of the TV, thinking Bakugo had come home.

It had gotten to about 5AM and you felt the mattress dip beside.

You awoke in a panic, only to have two strong arms wrap around you and you were gently shushed.

“Jesus, Katsuki, you scared the shit out of me.”

Bakugo said nothing, he just held onto you tighter. He was spooning you from behind, so you couldn't see his face, you could only feel his heavy breathing on the back of your neck as he buried his nose in your hair.

“I’m sorry about all the shitty things I said earlier. I didn't mean any of them and I shouldn’t have put you through that. I love you and I promise that tomorrow I’ll make it up to you. I’m sorry.” 

You didn’t say anything, but you smiled to yourself and pushed yourself more into his embrace.

The next morning, you woke up to the smells of fresh coffee, and a vase of flowers next to you on the bedside table. There was a note next to the coffee,   ‘I’ve gone to pick up breakfast for us, if you’re awake before I get back. - Katsuki’

You grinned, clutching the note to your heart, he may be a dick, but he always knew how to make it up to you.

[lucy90712]

Dream- face reveal

wc- 1971 

Warnings: use of dreams real name

~ I have been friends with this guy on the internet Dream for about 5 years now, we talk all the time but we have never met in person and I have never seen his face. He doesn't show his face on the internet and I've never asked so it just never happened, he knows what I look like all too well because I like sending him stupid selfies and we FaceTime in the middle of the night all the time.

We have been trying to meet in person for years but things keep getting in the way and changing our plans first family issues, then a hurricane and then a whole pandemic. Despite all of this we have finally set a date to meet which is not going to change not for anything or anyone. It's going to be a big day or should I say month, as insane as it sounds I'm going to move in with Dream and Sapnap one of our other friends for a little while to really make this trip worth it even if it only lasts that long.

The process has been difficult because for me to get to Florida I need to get a plane which requires me to get tested before I fly and for my own piece of mind I have been strictly quarantining for the past two weeks but its finally here. I fly out tomorrow morning. I went and got tested yesterday and got my negative result today which I need to get on the plane.

I've been packing all day today because to be there for a month I need a bunch of my set up and cameras so that my content doesn't just stop but then I also need clothes and I can't seem to get both things to fit quite right.

At one point my phone started ringing but there was a mountain of stuff everywhere so I had to dig around to find it and when I did I saw that it was a FaceTime call from Dream, I picked up and immediately put my phone down to get on with my 5th attempt at packing.

"Yo hows it going?" Dream asked

"I'd say pretty average right now I'm super excited for tomorrow but my bag is giving me a hell of a fight" I replied

"Prop your phone up and I'll try and help" he said

I did as I was told and got my small tripod to rest my phone in where you could see what I was looking at. Honestly it was a mess and I was kind of embarrassed but Dream didn't need to know that and besides my face wasn't in frame so he couldn't see how embarrassed I was. I attempted putting everything in a slightly different way to last time which seemed to work until it came to fitting in my tripod and my wash bag of which there was no room for.

"Fuck sake I thought I had it then" I raged slightly

"Ok take out the webcam and forget about the tripod because I have ones that you can use and then try because I think that should give you enough room" he said

"Hell yeah thanks dream" I said after zipping up the suitcase

I flopped back on the floor tired from the minimal amounts of effort I had put in today which just shows how incredibly unfit I am. I recovered before getting up and moving my phone to my desk where I sat to talk to Dream.

We talked for a while until Sapnap came in and I talked to him for a little while, he's been living with Dream for a few months so he warned me about a few things like you don't wake Dream up which I took note of and he told me that Dream will just come and sit in your stream. Eventually they had to leave so I was left on my own to just kind of chill until it was an acceptable time to go to sleep.

Skip to the morning

I woke up at 5am when my alarm went off, I have a love hate relationship with my alarm because I only ever use it when I have something going on which is exciting but the sound makes me want to throw my phone out the window. Despite my annoyance I got up and went straight to the bathroom to shower and get dressed, I thought about wearing something nice but then I realised I had a 5 hour flight and I couldn't bare the thought of being sat down for that long not in comfy clothes. My comfy outfit consisted of leggings and one of my ex boyfriends hoodies because I never gave it back and I'm over it enough to just wear the hoodie whenever I want.

At just before 6 I got in my Uber to head to the airport seeing as my flight was at around 8 it would be wise to get there early. I wasn't sure how busy the airport would be seeing as you aren't meant to travel but I don't think I've ever seen an airport that wasn't busy.

I made it to the airport and as I assumed it wasn't heaving but there was still a fair amount of people around. I made my way through the crowds and checked in for my flight before heading through security and then making it to the main part of the airport. That part was less busy as there is more space for people to spread out into which made me much less anxious about people being too close. I had a little while to wait for my flight so I went and got some food because I haven't eaten today, and I don't want to end up with a headache.

When it was time for my flight to board I went to the gate and got straight into my seat watching as more people boarded but not as many as I expected, it was clear that all of the people on the flight had a good reason to be going to Florida and not just going on holiday and no one was sat together so all rules were being adhered to.

My flight landed 5 hours later and everyone filed off the plane going there own way leaving me kind of lost in a place that I wasn't used to and with the anxiety of going to meet Dream for the first time. I had a bit longer to wait because I had to get an Uber to the house even though dream offered to come and pick me up I told him not to because the less people at the airport the better and just incase people recognised me I didn't want him to accidentally face reveal.

I collected my suitcase and went straight out to the car park to get in my uber who was waiting just outside the doors in the designated area for taxis. As soon as I got in the car I text Dream letting him know I was on my way and sharing my location just in case things went south.

My uber stopped outside this one house and I got out walking up the drive taking in the house number to make sure I was at the right place which I was. Thats when the nerves really kicked in, I was about to meet one of my best friends in person for the first time. This is so insane to think that after all there years we get to do all the stupid things friends do.

I got to the door and rang the doorbell waiting the few excruciating seconds before I heard movement behind it indicating that there was someone there. It opened slowly and the first person I saw was sapnap who of course I was excited to see but we have talked properly on FaceTime before so I already know what he looks like.

Next another person popped up behind pushing sapnap out the way and giving me a hug straight away I knew it had to be dream but he ran over so quick that I didn't get to take in anything other than the fact he was hugging me. He pulled away and I got to look at his face, he looked pretty much exactly how I thought he would from the descriptions I have heard. As much as wavy length doesn't sound like a thing it somehow fit his hair and his eyes were also super green, he was definitely taller than I expected though this man towered over me like it was nothing and could definitely push me to the ground in a second but he looked kind just how you want a friend to be.

After a few minutes of freaking out that this was actually happening they let me inside and gave me a tour of the house showing me my room and the set up they had put together for me with a webcam and tripod just like dream said. They finished off the tour before I was made to sit and play whatever game they wanted with them.

We played an assortment of games for hours on end before we ordered food for dinner which we ate all chilling on the sofa. I almost forgot that my followers didn't know I was here but when I remembered I stole patches from dream and got him to take a picture of me with her to post on twitter and Instagram because people would get it without me having to explain. Not much of a grand reveal considering Sapnap did the same when he got here but I didn't really have any other ideas I mean its not like I can just do dream's face reveal for him with a picture on my twitter can I. The response to my tweet was insane within minutes people had got it trending and they were freaking out with all sorts of theories of if I'd officially moved in or if I was just visiting although both were kind of right.

Having spent a few hours here now I feel very at home they boys are really welcoming making sure I'm all good and not too tired after my flight which of course I am but sleep is for the weak so I'll wait. I have been told to call the two of them by their real names unless its on stream which feels kind of odd because I'm use to calling them what their know by despite knowing their real names the whole time. They have given me a nickname which I now go by to make it fair.

It was sad when the day came to an end when we all decided it was best to get some sleep even though I think their going to stay up and they said it for my own sake because I've been yawning non stop for the past 2 hours but either way I'm going to go to sleep and this day (one of the best days of my life) will become that of a memory.

Although I don't think this day could have gone any better its consisted of everything I've ever wanted to have in a friend but none of my friends back home if you can call them friends are into the same things as me so it never works out. Now I have two friends who share the same interests and have the same god awful sleep schedule so we can stay up messing around together if we want to which is what life as a 20 year old should be like. Fun.

[x0401x]

Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #15

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Richard-sensei’s Cooking Classroom

On a bright morning in Kandy, a provincial town from Sri Lanka, a man was standing still in his kitchen. Leaning against the wall was a Japanese book titled “Breakfast for People Who Live Alone”. There were three items on the menu. Just an omelet with ketchup on top, boiled sausages and fruit salad yogurt.

Regardless, the kitchen where the man was standing was an explosion of colors, as if it were the atelier of some Dadaist painter. Perhaps he was wrong in trying to make an omelet, the blond man thought, tilting his head despondently. Loved by the god of beauty, his blond hair swayed smoothly, and on the wall behind him, the exploded omelet was scattered in all directions, giving off an artistic atmosphere. It was obvious that in order to cook an omelet on a frying pan, it was necessary to shake up said pan, but the specific method of how hard one should shake it had not even once made an appearance in his life, much like fairies and unicorns from fictional stories. As a result of him jerking the pan with moderate adjustment, the omelet had flown off, hitting the wall and dripping down under the influence of gravity.

The beautiful man cast his eyes at the opposite side of the kitchen with a melancholic look as well. His golden eyelashes reflected a rainbow-colored prism and shone like an emerald-green sea under the morning sun. In a corner, where a microwave and water heater sat on top of the kitchen table, something orange had burst all over the place from within the microwave. Just why did food blow up so often, the man wondered, silently ashamed of his ignorance for trying to reduce just two rules of thumb to common sense. When he put three vacuum-packed blood sausages in the microwave and warmed them up, the sausages lost their original shape with a faint explosive sound. Obeying the instructions that said, “Bain-marie or microwave”, the man had chosen the microwave, which seemed less difficult, but probably due to some process being neglected or the heating time being incorrect, the sausages had undergone a magical transformation, looking like some sort of eerie monster.

Moving his feet so as not to make a sound, the man headed to the dining room, lightly placing a hand on the large table and elegantly gazing at the tabletop. Fragments of yellow and green were floating on a sea of white.

“Fruits yogurt,” the man whispered, as if it were a magic spell, heaving a spring breeze-like sigh.

It was just chopped fruits floating on yogurt. Taking into account the possibility that he could not cut the fruits too meticulously, the man was out of luck to have a slicer with him, and by the moment he realized that this one was apparently not supposed to be used for fruits but rather for slicing things such as cabbages and carrots into thin pieces, the fruits that he had failed to chop had gone flying over the table, surrounding the bowl of yogurt and instantaneously creating a Genesis-like scene on the tabletop. It was chaos.

On 360 degrees, no matter where he looked, it was a foodstuff hell. After looking around one more time at the artistic misery he had created and sighing coarsely, he started anew and began doing a quick cleaning.

   “Morning, Richard. You slept well, I see.”

“Good morning, Seigi. So you wake up early even in Sri Lanka. Short sleepers have shorter lives. Didn’t you go to bed yesterday when it was already past midnight?”

“That’s fine for today. I have a guest here, after all. I’ll catch up with my sleep tomorrow.”

“I have not done so much to be called a ‘guest’.”

“There, there; let’s leave that for after we eat.”

His face looking like he was checking on something, the man whose appearance was impeccable even first-thing in the morning, as usual, glanced at the kitchen and dining room of my Sri Lankan house, and then let out a tiny sigh, stopping by a place close to the garden.

“Hey, could it be you woke up early this morning? Like, around 5AM...”

“Why?”

“I wonder if it was my imagination.”

In this three-story house, the first floor was a shared space for the dining room and bathroom, while the second and third floors had bedrooms. The room that I used as my main one was on the second floor, and the room on the third floor was used when Richard came over to be my overseer, but only the first floor had a bathroom. Whenever someone was going down to the first floor, one could tell by the sound of them stepping on the stairs. That was no big deal when I was alone, but this was the kind of house that would disturb other people’s sleep if I didn’t walk quietly whenever I needed to use the toilet in the middle of the night.

At around five o’clock, probably because I was drowsy, I had the feeling that someone had gone downstairs. I went back to sleep thinking that maybe Richard, who was looking after me despite having a jetlag, felt like having a late-night snack or something, but it was apparently a wrong guess.

Said man, dressed in a soft-looking shirt and the beige pants that he usually wore when he was relaxed, was standing still with eyes wide-open. It seemed he had noticed what was on the table. I was happy with the reaction.

“I’ve got breakfast for us. Hope it suits your taste.”

“Why? You said yesterday that your breakfast was just cereal and fruits.”

“I indeed said this yesterday, but I wanted to show it’s really not like that every single day. I also didn’t want you to worry for no reason.”

Plain omelets, sausages and fruit salad. For some reason, this house had many pottery dishes from European brands instead of Sri Lankan ones, but they were working out well for today. The paintings of green and pink pedicels over a white background were apparently from a German brand. It was actually my first time making a breakfast like this, which looked like it could show up in a commercial for some newly built apartment building and wasn’t as filling as its appearance suggested, but it had been surprisingly fun.

“I saw the recipe book in the kitchen. It’s a present for me, right? Thank you. I was happy to read a book in Japanese after so long, so I decided to make the part that showed up when I opened it into our menu. Now, now, please have a seat and eat up.”

For about solid ten seconds, Richard stared at the one-plate breakfast, his gaze looking like he was seeing a stone that he had never set his eyes on before, but then, after giving a start as if just remembering that I existed, he sat down with his same-old graceful demeanor.

“Well then, shall we?”

And so, Richard ate breakfast next to me. At times like these, this man would become extremely well-mannered, taking notice of and praising the details, such as the fineness of the omelet’s texture and the beauty of the fruit cuts in the yogurt, as if he were evaluating a five-million-yen jewelry or something. Even while being in Sri Lanka, I sometimes thought that if there were teachers like him in middle or high school around Japan, it would save many children.

“Thanks; that makes me happy. I’m benefiting from it too. Getting so many compliments for just boiling sausages.”

I didn’t know very well how to describe Richard’s face when I said that. His expression seemed like it could be the theme of a masterpiece painting, as if the exceptionally beautiful man had suddenly been reminded of an indescribable pain in the depths of his chest, but was struggling not to expose it in his facial expression. When I asked what was up, the reply was a gentle smile. His usual face was already back.

“I believe I have already said this several times, but you are extremely smart. You decipher the texts, assemble the methods in your head and put them to practice. There are more hardships in this process than you can imagine. Nevertheless, you specialize at it. This is clearly a talent of yours. Be sure to cherish it.”

“I will. But, well, I think doing my best because someone else’s gonna eat it also counts.”

For security reasons, I wasn’t allowed to invite guests to this house. I was sometimes called over to the house of a local friend I had made, and then I’d cook a simple dish there, but guests that make several meticulous dishes on the spot were probably not very welcome. So whenever there were days like these, when “guests” officially recognized by the house’s owner, Saul-san, occasionally came over, it was a great opportunity for me have a change of pace.

While thanking Richard for washing the dishes, I cleaned up the dining room and before moving on to stone study, which was my daily routine in the morning (at any rate, I had to examine stones thoroughly, guess their prices and drill the right and wrong ones into my head; pretty simple), I asked him about lunch. Richard-sensei was very busy. No time for leisure.

“You’ll be off again in the evening flight, right? What we gonna do about lunch? If you’re leaving at three o’clock, then you’ll still be in Kandy at noon, right? Can we go to a restaurant I like?”

“What a good thing it is that you found a ‘restaurant you like’ in this country. Allow me to accompany you.”

While smiling, Richard was about to let out a yawn, yet he hastily bit it down. He was like a prideful cat. As I thought, he seemed a little sleepy. When I suggested him to go to bed again, he said that he didn’t mind it, since he was going to sleep in the night flight either way. And yet he was calling me a short sleeper.

I glanced at the dining room and the kitchen. They were neatly organized. From their tidy and orderly state, I could tell with just a look that I obviously hadn’t cleaned them to this point last night. There wasn’t a single speck of dust on the floor. Despite the difference between the inside and outside of the house being so vague. There was no evidence left, but it was clear that something had happened here. Not a murder, but a more peaceful and heartwarming incident. The suspect showed no signs of confessing. So I wouldn’t say anything either. No particular comments on the multiple rags and some food remains at the bottom of the organic waste bag. I only had one thing that I wanted to say no matter what, so I hoped he’d just let me say it.

After finishing the meal, I waited for the beautiful man to stand up, and then I went behind Richard, clutching his shoulders. I was going to say it before he turned around, asking what I was doing. It was best if I didn’t see his face. There was no telling what I could say when I was staring at him in fascination.

“I myself don’t know very well what I’m talking about, so I want you to forget it in two seconds, but I was reeeally happy for this morning. Really happy. To a shocking extent.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I said I didn’t know either, right? I don’t get it, but anyway, I was happy. That’s all! Aight, study time.”

Without looking at Richard’s face until the very end, I started knocking a thousand gemstones in my workspace on the first floor. I had to look over them while it was morning. This was my current job. Richard didn’t say anything else, but his back looked calm under his shirt, so I was a bit relieved as well. Thinking back on it now, I had taken the wrong path at that time. I should have told him “not to overdo it” more clearly.

Two weeks later, Richard came back, but this time, I heard a small explosion at 6AM. Three times in a row. What did it take for things to turn out this way? The current time was already 7AM. Between getting up right now or not, which one would be less of a hassle later on? I didn’t even want to think about what had been made of the dining room. There was no one other than the two of us in this house and this wasn’t a matter that I had to go as far as asking the landlord, Saul-san, for advice on, so I knew I was the one who had to deal with it anyway. I wanted someone to decide in my stead. What should I do?

[dameronology]

a good jedi {obi-wan x reader}

summary: obi-wan kenobi always knows what to say, and he's always right - most the time, it's pretty annoying, but when you need advice? you're in luck. (this is platonic obi-wan x padawan! reader btw! for @raeshin -- i hope you enjoy!)

warnings: it probably has language in it somewhere? at this point i don't even know when i do and don't swear.

enjoy!! if you'd like to read more about commissioning a fic, the faqs are here :)

- jazz xx

The Jedi Temple had been scary at first.

With it's high walls and long, tangled history, you felt the pressure of being a warrior weigh on your shoulders almost the minute you set foot in the grand corridors. You'd been just a kid at the time - wide eyed and filled with some kind of weird, naive hope - but in your few, short years in the galaxy, you had heard more than enough about the Jedi. Who they were, and what they stood for; the adventures they went on and the way they brought balance to the Galaxy. The connection you felt to them had never seemed to be anything more than a youthful obsession with a world you wanted to be a part of.

Then, not long after your sixth birthday, things began to make sense. A mysterious man in a cloak paid your home planet a visit -- for you. Your interest in the Jedi hadn't been coincidental. Not in the slightest. Your connection to the Force was almost overwhelming, and it was something that Obi-Wan Kenobi could sense the minute he met you for the first time. For a young kid who had been torn away from their family and had the trajectory of their life changed entirely, your upbeat approach to the change of circumstance was pleasantly...surprising. It was clear from the get-go that you had a thirst for adventure, and a strong sense to do the right thing. Two things that, arguably, would have made you the perfect Jedi.

Obi-Wan was a good example of one; he was calm under pressure, patient as a mentor and things were never boring. It didn't take long for him to become like an older brother to you, and for that, you were grateful. There were other Padawans who hadn't been as lucky -- their mentors were either obsessed with the rules, or they were more preoccupied by their outstanding missions and meetings with the Council. Obi-Wan had always made you his main priority, focusing on your training and making sure that you didn't make the same mistakes as him (but let's face it -- were there many?).

Perhaps, it was that idolisation that had lead you to become scared of opening up to him about your own fears. Of course, he would never judge you, but the irrational, anxiety-induced voice in your head didn't know any better. You were terrified of letting him down, and even more fearful that he might lose faith in you for having doubts. Doubts in yourself, doubts in the Jedi, doubts in everything they stood for. What kind of warrior questioned their dedication and the morals of the order to which they were seemingly destined to be a part of? A bad one - or so you told yourself.

It had been easy to push them down at first; to brush aside your worries and tell yourself you were being silly. But, what had started as a little voice in the back of your head soon became a loud, all-consuming bellow. It was hard to ignore, especially now that Obi-Wan had thrown around the idea of beginning practice for your trials. You were no longer a child anymore, but a young adult. It was time for you to start moving up in the world, and in the Jedi Order, and that would mean reaffirming your commitment to them. You'd near enough dedicated two decades of your life to the cause, but it was only now that the doubt was truly starting to plague you.

It was becoming harder to hide it from Obi-Wan. Not only was he extremely intuitive and pragmatic in himself, but the Force connection that your Jedi-mentor relationship had provided you with made it even harder to kick your emotions under the fridge like ice and pretend they weren't there. Even when you gave him your best fake smile and promised you were excited for what was to come, he saw right through it. Your thinly-veiled emotions were no match for a man who could read you like a book.

"We have to report the council." Obi-Wan said. He stepped aside, allowing you to exit the ship with him in tow. "It might be useful for you to deliver the mission report. Good practice for when you're out there on your own-"

"- master, we haven't even got a date for when I'll be doing the trials." You cut him off. The Temple wasn't too far of a walk, but it took you through the gardens. "I'd rather not get ahead of myself."

"It's always better to be a few steps ahead then a few steps behind." He shot back.

"Yeah, I suppose." You muttered. "I think I'm where I need to be right now. Not ahead, nor behind."

He thinned his eyes at you. "If you're sure."

"Very." You forced a smile. "Besides, I'm tired out. It's been a long few days."

"I find myself doubting the sincerity of your statement given that you threatened Anakin over a game of holochess just mere seconds ago-"

"- he was cheating!" You exclaimed. "But really, master, I am shattered. I'd be grateful if you'd let me retire for the night, unless you're really that desperate for my presence in front of the council."

"Very well." Obi-Wan nodded. "Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning for training?"

You stopped in your tracks, just in front of the corridor that lead to your chambers. Normally, you were pretty good at coming up with excuses - now, your ability had failed you entirely. It wasn't that you didn't want to wake up early and train, but rather that you were so caught up in your own concerns and doubts that it would affect your ability to fight at all. And, with all due respect to Obi-Wan, the last thing you needed was to be thrown half-way across the room at 5AM on a Saturday morning during combat training.

"I'm not sure," you nervously shuffled from one foot to another. "I might skip training tomorrow and focus on my readings."

Obi-Wan folded his arms across his chest. "Something is going on with you."

"There isn't." You tried to sound confident in your words. "I'm just-"

"- tired?" He raised an eyebrow. "Have you been getting enough sleep lately?"

"Of course." You replied quickly- perhaps a bit too quickly.

"Hmm." Obi-Wan clearly wasn't taking your bullshit. "You know that you've been my Padawan for the better part of twenty years, don't you?"

"Right."

"I can tell when you're lying." He continued. "We'll finish it here tonight but I'm not done with this conversation."

"There's nothing to talk about." You coldly said. "Good night, Master."

Obi-Wan sighed, blue eyes flittering to the floor. "Good night."

--

True to your word, you slept through training the next day. You didn't even bother setting an alarm, instead choosing to snooze right through til late morning. It was a much-needed lie in -- between your missions, your late-night stressing sessions and constantly running away from the subject of your trials, you were shattered. The sleep had been good, but it didn't much when it was your soul that was tired.

You found yourself in the Temple gardens not long after you woke up. They were the most peaceful place in the entire building -- fields of fresh, green grass, and tangles of unkempt plants that stretched out as far as you could see. The late-morning sun was hanging high in the sky, casting a golden glow on your skin as you slowly wandered down the path. There were a few other people sat on the lawns, either meditating or reading a book. Instead of doing either, you simply meandered. It was hard to remember the last time you weren't doing something...Jedi-ish.

"That isn't reading."

You froze at the sound of your Master's voice -- he was sat on one of the benches, lunch laid out beside him. Knowing Obi-Wan, he'd probably risen at 4AM and done ten times as much in his waking hours than everyone else in the Temple had done in a week. He was always on the go, always dedicating himself to something. Sometimes, he took you along for the ride.

"I was taking a walk." You shot back.

"I can see that." Obi-Wan said. He tossed his sandwich into the bin and stood up, dusting off his trousers. "Let's walk and talk."

"Master, I'm going to be honest with you, I really wanted this time for myself." You explained. "And with all due respect, most of the Padawans out here are alone, and not with their masters-"

"- so you're too cool to be seen in public with me now?" He raised an eyebrow. "I can sense your anxiety and I think it would be good for us to get to the bottom of it."

You sighed to yourself -- the gig was up. But, to give credit where credit was due, you had been able to hide your woes from him for the better part of six months. You could feel your heart-rate picking up in your chest at the thought of coming clean. What if he was disappointed in you? Or worst, insulted that you were worrying about the Order he had sworn his life to?

Obi-Wan placed his hand on the small of your back, forcing you to start walking beside him, through the gardens and towards the temple. So much for a peaceful morning.

"Talk to me." He said. "What's troubling you?"

"I..." you let your eyes fall to the floor. "Look, if I tell you, can you promise me one thing?"

"Of course."

"That you won't be disappointed in me?"

"I could never be disappointed in you." Obi-Wan replied. "If you've made a mistake, it's fine. How else are we supposed to learn?"

"It's not so much a mistake, so much it is a feeling." You began. "I've dedicated most of my life to this Order, and the things it stands for, and by the looks of it, the rest of my life will be too. That was amazing when I was a kid, and not entirely capable of thinking for myself. Now I can, and I find myself full of...doubt."

"Right," He pondered on your words for a moment. "Doubt about what, exactly?"

"The Order." You replied. "There are so many rules to follow, and so many codes. It's been okay up until now but what if one day, I find myself wanting to make a decision that goes against it? Or making a choice that I think to be correct, but the Council see as wrong?"

Obi-Wan was quiet for a moment. He felt your words in his core -- he'd had his moments like that too. Many, many moments of doubt, sprinkled throughout the last three decades. But, just a few was plenty enough for him to remember - the hesitation, the worry, the endless thoughts of leaving and breaking free plaguing in his mind. There had been so much loss; so much grief and hurt that had pushed him to the edge. Qui-Gonn, Satine, members of the 501st who had fallen victim to the ongoing Clone Wars. There were days where he came closer and closer to his breaking point - in the same way there were days that it felt like it was inching further away. Like the day that the two of you went to Corellia, and he saw you hold your own in battle for the first time, or the day that he managed to get himself kidnapped, and you and Anakin came to rescue him and make a joke out of it. It was the days like that which he'd clung onto so tightly.

You never would have known, not from his outward appearance. From where you were standing, Obi-Wan Kenobi was calm and collected. He always stood his ground and did the right thing, and aside from a few grey hairs that had cropped up in his otherwise-strawberry-blonde hair, you never would have known the losses he had faced. The sacrifices he had made.

And it broke his heart that you feeling that same misgivings and apprehensions that he had.

"Master, you've been quiet for a really long time." You murmured. "Maybe I should just forget it, pretend I didn't say anything-"

"- Not every decision that I've made has been in line with what a good Jedi is." Obi-Wan cut you off. "But you don't need to worry, I can assure you of that much."

You peered up at him. "What do you mean?"

"You might not always be a good Jedi, but you'll always do the right thing." He explained.

"You think so?"

"I know so." He replied. "I see it in you. Whatever way you interpret the Jedi Code, you needn't worry, because you can't be a good Jedi until when, stripped back to the very core of your humanity, you're a good person. And you are, undoubtedly so."

You smiled. "Thank you."

"There are going to be times when you doubt everything you stand for, and everything you dedicate your life to." Obi-Wan continued. "And when I find myself doing that, I look at it from a different angle. The be-all-and-end-all of what we do is to help and protect others, whether that's under the guise of the Jedi, or as a civilian. That's what matters."

"That makes sense." You nodded. "Thank you for listening. I was worried you were going to be disappointed in me."

"I've been disappointed with the Jedi Order itself hundreds of more times than I've been disappointed with you." He said. "Your ability to question authority when necessary is going to get you far. It's better to be overly cautious than overly naive."

"Does that apply to your authority too?" You grinned.

"If need be - but I like to think I'm a pretty relaxed master." Obi-Wan replied. "I could be a lot harder on you. Especially on mornings when you lie to me and sleep in."

You groaned. "It won't happen again. I can assure you that your current methods of teaching are more than sufficient."

"Sufficient enough that you're ready for the trials?"

"Maybe." You cautiously said. "I suppose we could at least talk to the council about it."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan grinned. "Then you can finally get rid of me."

"I could never." You shot back.

[angelthebedsheet]

Can you do a modern zuko x male reader where they vlog their day or they go on vacation. It’s okay if you can’t

a/n: ahhhh thanksies anonnie! i’ll try my best. zuko and m/n are camera transitions kings, i also have no idea on how airports work bc i’ve never been to one 💀💀, for their hotel room think of it was one of the waikiki resort hotel rooms w/ a balcony, i had fun with this!! lemme know if yall want a part 2!

lets get it yall!

“Hello, Zuko here. Welcome back to our channel. So tomorrow we’re going to Hawaii and we’re gonna take you guys with us.” Zuko said as he shot finger guns to the camera. “Right now, M/N is in the bathroom packing the last bit of his things. He’s a procrastinator.” Zuko commented. “YOU ACT LIKE YOU DIDN’T WAKE UP AT 5AM TO EVEN START PACKING.” M/N’s voice yelled from the bathroom. “He’s a liar don’t listen to him. He’s hangry.” Zuko said as he smiled.

“I’m hangry?” M/N walked to him. “Hey hey wait.” Zuko said as he turned the camera to record him. “C’mere. Imma teach you a lesson, boy.” M/N said as he rolled up his sleeves. “No wait you don’t haVE TO.” Zuko squealed as M/N threw him over his shoulder. “PUT ME DOWN!” Zuko yelled as he banged his fists on his back. “Nah you can’t talk mess like that and expect me to not attack you.” M/N teased as he walked out of frame. Zuko yelped as M/N dropped him in a chair. He started tickling him. Zuko busted out laughing. “B-Babe no!” Zuko exclaimed as he rolled the chair back. He slid back into frame with M/N tickling his sides. “Shut up and feel my wrath, pretty boy.” M/N cackled as Zuko squirmed around.

“I’m gonna piss my PANTS STOP.” Zuko cried out between laughs. M/N stopped and pressed a kiss to his lips. Zuko hummed with a soft smile. “We’re gonna edit that out?” Zuko asked. “Keep it in. They deserve to see how cute you look when you laugh.” M/N said. Zuko scoffed and slapped his arm. “Shut up. My image will be ruined.” Zuko said dramatically. “What image? You realize our fans have edits of you smiling and laughing?” M/N said as Zuko looked at him. “They do?” He whispered. M/N snorted. “Yeah they do. You’re on Twitter everyday, Zu. What do you think those profile pictures are?” M/N whispered back, amused. M/N watched as Zuko furrowed his eyebrows. He started laughing when Zuko’s face dropped. “Cut the camera, deadass. I’m an idiot, hold on.” Zuko whined as he ran a hand down his face. M/N kneeled down laughing. “It wasn’t that funny stop itttt.” Zuko said as he used his hand to cover his face. He gently kicked M/N’s side, causing him to wheeze.

“I’m turning off the camera. See you guys tomorrow, I’m tired of getting clowned.” Zuko mumbled with a small smile. “It’s just that you looked so fucking confused, I couldn’t handle it.” M/N cried. “Bye.” Zuko said as M/N raised his hand to wave. He covered the camera with his hand.

—————————-

M/N uncovered the camera with his hand. “And we’re back at the asscrack of dawn. It’s M/N here. Our plane is at 6am and we’re up at 3am. I already hate life.” He said as he wiped his eye. “Same here. Also why are you still wearing that bandana you can put on your durag. Isn’t that better for you?” Zuko commented as he looked at the f/c bandana. “Nigga why you still wearing that shirt you can put on your hoodie. Isn’t that better for you?” M/N said as he looked at Zuko. Zuko scrunched his nose and pushed M/N’s face away. “This is why we don’t speak early in the morning. His mouth is so rude.” Zuko whined. “You fell in love with me because of this mouth, sir.” M/N said. “Shush.” Zuko said as he covered M/N’s mouth. “Kinky.” His muffled voice said. Zuko groaned and wiped his hand off on M/N’s hoodie.

“I hate you.”

“Stop lying to yourself. You love me.”

“Yeah.... Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?? Guess I’ll just run away then.”

“Have fun.”

“You’re an asshole.” M/N chuckled. Zuko hummed with a smile. “But please change that bandana you look goofy with it.” Zuko said. “Garsh.” M/N commented as he set the camera down. He ducked out of frame and went to grab his durag. Zuko fixed his messy bun and threw on a hoodie. “Is that mine?” M/N asked from out of frame. “Yeah. Cry about it.” Zuko said, earning a pillow to the face. “Bitch.”

“Hoe.”

“Slut.”

“Cougar.”

“Whore.”

“Dumbass.”

“Clown.”

“Oh we’re talking about ourselves now?” M/N said with a false sense of surpise. “Low blow you lil shit.” Zuko grumbled. “I’m leaving you and asking Sokka to come with me instead.” He said. “Tah. You think Sokka’s gonna wake up at 3:30 in the morning on a Saturday? He’d skin you alive.” M/N commented. “Somewhere in the distant he woke up sneezing.” Zuko said dramatically. M/N chuckled. He picked up the camera and adjusted his backpack strap. “Autobots roll out.” He said, making Zuko rolled his eyes. “See yall in the airport, teehee.” M/N said as he held his hand up. “Did you have to say teehee like that.” Zuko said. “Stop shitting on my parade before I fart on your pillow.” M/N said. “You’re disgusting, why do I date you?” Zuko grimaced. “Because you’re stupidly in love with me and you’re whipped for my stupid ass.” M/N sang.

“N. e. ways. Before I was so rudely interrupted by this big baby—”

“I’m NOT a baby.”

“Uh I’m not finished—”

“I’m a grown MAN.”

“Oh my god, can you let me do what I need to do.”

“Go on.”

“Okay damn. As I was sayin—”

“I just think—”

“I’m gonna beat you with a tiki torch, Zuko. Shut UP. Let me do the fucking transition, fireboy.”

Zuko bit his lip to hide his smile. M/N huffed before smiling at the camera. Zuko waved. “See y’all in a few!” M/N said before covering the camera with his hand.

——————————

Zuko uncovered the camera. “Well hello there again. We’re in the airport now. It’s too bright in here.” He said quietly. “This tastes like shit. Like it makes me depressed even drinking it but caffeine.” M/N said as he grimaced at the taste. “I told you to not buy that brand. You don’t listen.” Zuko commented as he balanced the camera ontop of his suitcase. “It’s not even brand coffee.” He mumbled. “What is it then?” Zuko asked as he fixed his bun. “You wanna try?” He asked as he handed him the cup. Zuko took a sip and gagged. “That’s gonna give you some type of heart disease what the fuck is that? It tastes horrible!” Zuko exclaimed as he pushed the cup away. “Just a shit ton of caffeine shots and 5 hour energy.” M/N said.

“Jesus fucking christ. How do you drink that crap? Give that to me. I’m getting you actual coffee so you don’t die of high blood pressure before the age of 50.” Zuko said, snatching the cup away. “Zukooooo.” M/N whined. Zuko stood up. “This is basically gasoline. As a matter of fact, no more coffee for you. I’m supposed to be the coffee addict but this here is death in a cup. I’m getting you go gurt or some shit.” He said as he left. “He’s a hater he just took my gasoline.” M/N whined. He sucked his teeth and grimaced. “It was pure fuel. Can you get high off of caffeine? I mean it is an adrenaline.” He said as he fixed his durag.

Soon Zuko came back with a water bottle and a smoothie. He sat down. “Drink some water to wash that god awful mix out.” Zuko said, tossing it to him. “You couldn’t hand it to me?” M/N mumbled as he opened it and drank some, swishing it around his mouth before drinking it. “What flavour’s the smoothie?” He asked. “Piña colada.” Zuko said as he gave it to him. “But aren’t we gonna have that in Hawaii?” He asked again. “Stop complaining before I take it.” Zuko groaned. M/N shook his head before drinking the smoothie. “See you guys soon.” Zuko said, covering the camera.

———————————

There was a montage of Zuko and M/N, going through baggage claim and boarding the plane before Zuko turned the camera to face them. They waved at the camera. Zuko covered it again.

———————————

M/N uncovered the camera. “Hey girl hey, I’m in a plane.” He said. “That was awful.” Zuko grumbled as he adjusted his seatbelt. “When will you brighten up? Is it because you’re pastey?” M/N asked. “Pastey? I’m not pastey.” Zuko said. “You need some vitamin D? The sun? That good ol melanin? Cuz your panties are in a twist.” M/N teased. Zuko only rolled his eyes.

———————————

M/N recorded the plane taking lift off. There was a monatage of the plane getting higher and higher off the ground till clouds started to show. He turned the camera to show him and Zuko. Zuko rubbed his eye and waved. M/N only smiled and pressed a kiss to Zuko’s cheek. Zuko closed his eyes and smiled. He covered the camera.

———————————

He uncovered the camera to show Zuko hugging his arm while sleeping. He cooed. “See how cute he is when he sleeps? Lil chubby ass cheeks. Lookin like a dumpling. I can’t even turn on my laptop because he’s hugging my arm. He’s just so....” M/N trailed off to fondly smile at him. He pressed a kiss ontop of Zuko’s head. “Since I’m editing this video before it comes out y’all gonna see some real mushy shit because we are simply two stupid guys in love. I know some of y’all just gon eat this shit up. See y’all in Hawaii.” He said softly before covering the camera.

————————————

Zuko uncovered the camera. “We’re in a car and M/N’s out like a light.” He said as he showed M/N’s head on his shoulder. “I like him when he’s quiet sometimes. S’nice. Forgot to mention we’re in Hawaii now.” He said as he showed the scenery that passed them by as they sat in the cab. “I can practically feel the jet lag so we’ll probably stop filming after we show you our hotel room and continue tomorrow.” Zuko said, leaning his cheek ontop of M/N’s head. “We’ll be back.” He said before swiping his hand down the camera.

———————————

Zuko’s hand swiped down the camera revealing their shoes walking down the sidewalk. There was a montage of them walking into the hotel, checking in, going up the elevator and walking to their room.

——————————-

“Time for the big reveal.” M/N said as he held the keycard. Zuko hummed as he swiped the keycard and opened the door. They gasped as they looked at how cute the room was. “Bro... this is...” M/N said as he held the door open for Zuko. He walked inside showing the camera the whole room. “Cute.” Zuko mumbled. “Better than our room.” M/N said as he closed the door. M/N placed his luggage in the corner of the room and plopped down on the bed belly first. “Holy shit, Zu baby come HERE.” His muffled voice said. “Why what happened?” Zuko asked as he went to sit on the bed. “Oh my god.” He said.

“I know. Yeah no we’re gonna sleep and cuddle the rest of the day cut the camera.” M/N said as he turned to lay on his back. He kicked his shoes off and pulled Zuko down. Zuko squealed before he moved his head to lay ontop of M/N’s. He kicked his shoes off. “Welp. We’re gonna knock out. Bye.” Zuko said with a smile. M/N waved and covered the camera.

[fi-chanwrites]

:o omg could i get some hcs of todoroki and kaminari and maybe aizawa with a s/o who's sleep schedule's gone all kinds of weird bc of quarantine? thank u!

AHHHH MY FIRST BNHA IM EXCITED.

Quarantine = No Sleep

Todoroki Shoto

Lets be real, this boy would keep the most regular sleep schedule

he is in bed for 11pm every night and awake for 6 am every morning

he would wake up and text you every morning to check if you were asleep. You never are.

You phone him as soon as he’s awake so you can talk to him before you sleep the day.

always fall asleep on the phone and h/e finds it absolutely adorable.

“are you not getting enough (y/n)-chan? That’s bad for you, you need to get regular sleep to function properly.”

“But shooooo, I don’t need to function properly... its quarantine”

“(y/n) it is 6 in the morning, please get some sleep darling”

“WE WILL NEVER SLEEP, COS SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK” Todoroki sighed down the phone, making you let out a giggle before yawning,

“plus I wanna talk to you more Sho, I’ve missed you” the little pout that adorned your lips made Todoroki weak, he couldn’t help but smile at you.

He saw your eyelids starting to close and heard your breathing even out, you were finally going to sleep. The cycle continued for days, you would call him when he first woke up and he had to convince you to sleep but it would be a bold faced lie if he said he didn’t love seeing your sleepy face every morning.

Kaminari Denki

We all know this boy is in the exact same boat as you.

Like he’s the one who’s been keeping you up til like 2 am on video calls

“don’t go to bed yet, I’ll miss you” complete with a pouty face and everything, like who can say no to that.

If you’re not talking on the phone then you’re texting eachother, texting “Good morning” even if its 5pm for you...

Both of you are vibing with bags under your eyes, living your best/worst lives

“are you falling asleep? its only 5am, thats weak”

“shut up Denki I’m tired lemme sleep for once”

You two would fall asleep on ft almost every night, like you’ll fall asleep and he just won’t hang up. He finds your breathing calming and it lulls him to sleep himself

“How long have we been on call now baby?” you asked him, yawning which just drove your point forward.

“ummm it says eight hours bumble bee” he smirked, already knowing that you were about to fall asleep again.

About five minutes later you were out like a light, Denki laid the phone near his pillow on his bed. All he could hear were the soft rises and falls of your chest as you breathed heavily. It was five in the morning on a Monday, normally the twoof you would have to be up in only an hour but of course quarantine ruined that.

He missed seeing you in person everyday, being able to hold you close and kiss you, but he would have to deal with seeing you through a screen for a little while longer.

He fell asleep, content with the idea that he would be able to speak to you again tomorrow, listening to your calm breath as his lullaby

Aizawa Shouta

Living with this man, he is so done with your shit, like he can hear you crying over anime at 3am and he’s just like “wtf am I dating?”

Will stay up with over weekends when he has marking to do.

Honestly relies on your ditzy, sleep deprived state to keep him entertained while he’s working.

You’re legit sleeping the day away while he’s busy working because you’ve been let off work completely for the time being.

He’d just be spooning with you, unable to sleep because you’re still on fuckin tiktok

man is ready to throw your phone across the room, he just wants to cuddle his girlfriend dammit

Aizawa turned over to cuddle into your back only to be greeted by the glow of your phone screen, and your shoulders shaking from your silent giggles.

“You should be asleep by now kitten” he mumbled into your shoulder, kissing the exposed skin slightly, his lips tickling you with each movement.

“Just one more... I promise” 

“(y/n) you said that an hour ago too, and you will continue saying it until its morning, then you’ll just sleep all day and I won’t have anyone to keep me company”

You sighed rolling over to face him, burying your head into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Fine I’ll go to sleep... I love you” 

“ I love you too idiot”

Tagging: @gulfwanq @happynoodle

[definitelyseven]

deal | seven

summary: when your step-mom unexpectedly offers you a deal you can’t resist, you decide to give her a taste of her own medicine by seducing her potential suitor, Im Jaebum.

one (m) | two | three (m) | four (m) | five | six (m) | seven | eight (m) | nine | ten | eleven | twelve (m) | thirteen | fourteen | fifteen | sixteen | seventeen - final |

You woke up to a feeling of gentle pecks on your shoulder. It was still dark outside, but Jaebum was already awake. “What time is it?” you mumbled, still half asleep. 

“5am,” he whispered in your ear as he pulled your naked body closer to his.

“So early,” you complained, snuggling closer to him. You reached for his arms pulling them close to your breast. He gentle strokes your nipples with his thumb as he kisses the back of your neck. Waking up in his arms was too comfortable, you could get use to this. 

“I have to get home before Minguk wakes up for breakfast,” he revealed before climbing on top of you. Jaebum climbs in between your legs, scooping your body up to meet his so he can pull you in for a tender kiss. “You going to be okay getting home yourself?” he asked, pulling slightly away from you.

You nodded, “I’ll catch a taxi.” Jaebum smiles down at you while brushing your baby hair out of your face. 

“Don’t forget you start work today,” he reminded as he gave your nose a peck before getting up out of the bed. You fall back into the bed, hugging the comforter close to your naked body. A while later, Jaebum comes back into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist, his body and hair still wet from the shower. He looked so good. 

“Mmmm daddy,” you purred, making him smirk. He quickly climbs on top of you, water dripping from his hair.

"You know what that does to me,” he growled, leaning down to attack your neck with wet kisses. You giggled, pushing him slightly away. 

“You’re not going to make it for breakfast,” you reminded him. He lets out a small sigh, giving you one last kiss before getting up to get changed. 

“See you at home,” he smiles at you before leaving. The room instantly became quiet and lonely without him. You tired going back to sleep, but couldn’t. The bed wasn’t as comfortable without him. You decided it was probably a good idea to head home, and get ready for your first day of work. 

You tried to be as quiet as you could while sneaking into the house, but was quickly caught by an energetic Minguk and a grumpy Eunbi.

“Look at you. Staying out all night,” Eunbi looks at you in disgust as Minguk runs to you. You smiled down at him, quickly picking him up in your arms. 

“Good morning cutie,” you smiled at Minguk who instantly wrapped his arms around your neck.

“It’s time for breakfast,” Minguk reveals. You set him down on the floor and watched him run to the dining table where Jaebum was already seated.

“I’m watching you ,” Eunbi glares before bumping into you. You followed her inside to where Jaebum was. 

“Can I get a ride to work?” you asked him as if you didn’t just spend the night with him. You did your best to act normal between you two, and you could tell he was trying too.

“What you’re starting today? I thought you were kidding about it,” Eunbi asked in disbelief. 

“Sure, I’m leaving in 30 minutes,” Jaebum said casually. You nodded and quickly went upstairs to get changed. You picked out a nice top and a skirt with some heels - this should be good enough for work. 

“How do I look?” you asked Jaebum in the car. He turns to take a quick glance at you. He smiles reaching over to touch your thigh. 

“Beautiful,” he compliments, giving your thigh a light squeeze. He brings your hand up to his lips to give you a kiss. You smile at his simple gesture. “When we get to the office, I’m your boss and that’s the only relationship we have there,” he reminded.

“I know Mr. Im,” you teased, removing his hand from your thigh. “We’ll be professional during work hours. I understand.”

Jaebum introduced you to the receptionist and his assistant, Anna, who was in charge of your work. “What can I help you with?” you asked politely. She looked up from her computer, annoyed.

“You can start by taking everyone’s coffee order,” she smirked. “I’ll have an iced americano.”

“O-okay. Should I ask Mr. Im what he wants?” 

“No, I’ll take care of Mr. Im. Remember to ask the entire floor, okay?” she teased. You nodded and went around the entire floor to ask everyone what they wanted to drink. Everyone wanted something different - not one drink was repeated. The delivery man called you to let you know he was downstairs and that he was not delivering it upstairs to the 15th floor. You begged and even offered to pay him more to bring them upstairs, but he refused too. So you bitterly went downstairs and picked up all 23 drinks yourself. You were struggling to carry all the drinks, and to just your luck the elevator stopped working.

“You have to be kidding me,” you complained to the security guard. You didn’t want to walk up 15 flights of stairs. “It was just working a second ago.”

“Sorry ma’am. Take the stairs,” he pointed in the opposite direction. You groaned and slowly made your way upstairs. Your feet started to hurt and you could feel your calves ache in pain. 

By the time you reached the 15th floor, your legs were weak and wobbly and your hands were red from carrying all the drinks. You wanted so badly to take a seat, but Anna already had another task for you. You set down the drinks and followed her into the conference room where Jaebum and every department head was seated. To your surprise, Eunbi was there too. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked her. “How did you get upstairs?”

“The elevator,” she smirked. Now you understood - she somehow got the security guard to shut down the elevators so you couldn’t take it. This fucking bitch.

“Ask if they want anything to drink,” Anna whispered before taking a seat next to Jaebum. You glanced over at him, but he paid no attention to you. 

Eunbi cleared her throat, trying to get your attention, “My throat is dry. Can you get me something to drink?” 

“Yes, what can I get you?” you asked her with a fake smile, ignoring the fact that your feet was already blistering. 

“Jae will have an iced americano, and I’ll have a sparkling water,” Eunbi smirked. Once you served everyone their drinks, you thought you’d finally have a break, but you thought wrong. 

“Can you translate this for me?” one of the staff asked you while handing you a folder.

“It’s in French. I don’t know French,” you confessed. 

“You know how to use Google Translate, right?” she asked rhetorically. “I need this by 5pm.” 

You tried to be efficient, but this was hard. You didn’t know French and you didn’t know whether the words you were translating were correct. It was like everyone was purposely giving you a hard time. 

It was already 4pm and you were barely half-way through the document. “I’m so sorry, I only got through half the document,” you tell her.

She snickered, “That’s alright. I already translated everything.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were taking too long. If I waited for you, the client would have to wait till midnight,” she complained. “But don’t think you can stop translating that document. It better be completed and on my desk first thing in the morning,” she demanded before grabbing her purse and leaving. You sighed, peaking over at Jaebum’s office. No movement. He must’ve been busy all day. The only time you saw him was in the conference room this afternoon. 

“I’m leaving now. Mr. Im’s dinner should be arriving soon. Bring it to him when it gets here,” Anna tells you before leaving. Now that she mentioned dinner, you realized you haven’t had anything to eat all day and everyone had left the office already. You were starving. 

The security guard called Anna’s desk phone to let you know that Jaebum’s dinner had arrived. You were thankful that you were able to take the elevator this time. 

You knocked on Jaebum’s door, “Come in,” he said before you entered. “Where’s Anna?” he asked, flipping through his paperwork. 

“She left and told me to bring you your dinner,” you revealed as you walked towards his desk with a small limp. You made a mental note to yourself to wear different shoes tomorrow. 

“Unpack everything and set it on the coffee table by the couch.” He didn’t even bother to take a second look at you. He was so absorbed in his work. You quietly laid his food out on table - salad, sushi, stew and rice. 

“It’s ready,” you tell him as you turned around to find him standing close behind. You stumbled backwards almost losing your balance if it wasn’t for Jaebum catching you. 

“Careful,” he warns, helping you stand up straight. You let out a sigh of relief as he motions you to sit down next to him. “Take your shoes off.”

“What?”

Jaebum lifts your legs onto his lap and takes off your heels. “I heard you had to walk up 15 flights of stairs today. Your feet must be killing you.” So he did notice you today. You smiled as he massages your calves for you. “Eat,” he tells you.

“This is for me?” 

He nods, “You haven’t eaten anything all day. I saw you working out there.”

You smiled again. The whole day you thought he was busy with his work; not paying any attention to you, but he was. You leaned over to reach for his face to kiss him. Your lips connect with his, feeling all the pain in your legs go away. Jaebum quickly slips his tongue in your mouth, pulling you onto his lap. Your skirt rose to the side of your hips as you straddled him. His hands quickly found his way around your waist and down your ass. He massages your ass, pulling your lower body closer to his hardened member as you gently rolled your hips against it. You let out a small moan when his cock pokes at your already wet cunt. Jaebum pulls away from the kiss to work on your neck. He brushes your hair to one side before sucking the nape of your neck. You let out another moan, grinding your hips deeper into him. He lets out a moan as his lips travel down to your collar bone and down your cleavage. He stops once he hears your stomach growl.

You giggle, “Oops, I’m hungry.”

Jaebum smiles at you before removing you off his lap. He fixes your skirt and brings your legs back onto his lap. “Eat,” he tells you again as he continues to massage your legs. 

He sets your feet down once you finish eating. “Let’s go home.”

“But I’m not done with work,” you pouted.

“We both know that’s not important work,” he teased before cleaning up the empty containers. “I’ll be right back,” he said walking away with the empty dishes. 

Twenty minutes passed and he still wasn’t back. You got up from the couch and went to look for him. You find him sitting at your desk, helping you finish the document. You walked over to him quietly and watched him easily complete the rest of the document. “You have to leave a couple of errors to make it believable,” you joked from behind him. 

He chuckles, “Don’t worry, there’s plenty of mistakes in here.” You made your way over to him, hugging him from behind. 

“Thank you,” you whispered in his ears before pecking his cheek. 

The drive home wasn’t long, but you managed to fall asleep. “Y/N,” he called. “We’re home.” You groaned not wanting to be bothered. You feel him lift you up from your seat to carry you inside. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Shhh...she’s sleeping,” Jaebum explains to her. 

“She’s not a child! She can walk,” Eunbi complains once he steps inside the house. Her annoying ass voice wakes you up so you motion Jaebum to set you down before she complains some more. You walked past her and up to your room. 

“Why are you acting like this? Did you forget she’s your step-daughter?” Jaebum questioned. 

“She’s going to get the wrong idea.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he quickly argued. 

“Jae, it’s not that I’m jealous of her. She’ll be your step-daughter too. You have to set boundaries or else people will talk. What will people say when they see you carrying her?” Eunbi explained. 

“Don’t worry. Didn’t you just say she was a child?” he reminded. 

You rolled your eyes at what he said. He didn’t think you were just a child when he was fucking you last night. 

You were going to show him you were more than a just a child.

a little note from jennie: felt like writing some fluff before we get into the real dealllll ;)