#I wish you could smell it
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Today I have all my weeded-plucked-washed-washed-washed volunteer applemint going in the dehydrator, and the house smells amazing. This will be steeped for tisanes for the rest of the year, probably mixed with chamomile most of the time (maybe some juhua, when that comes in in the autumn).
The MFH makes a lot of fond jokes about having a druid wife, and I laugh at them, but also here I am practically living outdoors, planting extensive amounts of herbs, trying to cozen frogs and snakes to live in my garden...
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diversity win your spam emails are queer
#deltarune#spamton#swatch#art#doodles#pansexual#lgbt#bigshot spamton#stupid joke ive had sitting in my head for months whjbfghbjdfg. artist brain override gay brain (me too). good for him though!!#me refilling my printer ink tanks: omg my printer is pan... soooo coool....#and dont forget that he owned the mettaton dress of transgenderism either. arguably this has the trans flag colors too#wait theres a car joke here also. TransAm? more like TransPan. haha nice#+ his glasses fit the theme so Bonus Spam + i changed my 90s swat a little again#they're just gonna be different every time i draw them. for funsies. and thats fine. i havent even posted 90s queen yet SMFH !!!!!#there's something to be said about metaphors in their 90s fashion choices. something something more colorful design back then#something something not hiding their eyes yet something something Learned A Lesson....#you could read that a certain way. or perhaps not#obligatory 'my swatch uses they them' tag#obligatory 'fine to tag as ship if you want idc' tag#obligatory 'oh god i swear im trying so hard to draw and post more' tag#i saw a tag on a post from like 2019 that said 'man i only posted 9 times last month!' and im like. god. i wish i could post 9 times a#month Now???? honey you had a big storm comin#i just keep starting things i dont have the energy to finish. except for a silly gay color profile joke apparently#im sure the Smoke Smell goes reeeal good with the Dumpster Smell btw.
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hi dreamer trilogy pynch enjoyers i am ACTUALLY begging you to listen to get to you by the honeysticks
#I CAN SMELL YOU?? ON MY COCA-COLA SHIRT????#i fucking love fhsi song#literal pynch anthem im telling u#ronan lynch#adam parrish#pynch#the dreamer trilogy#tdt#the raven cycle#trc#!!!#ricky montgomery#the honeysticks#i wish i could talk to you!!! (about ricky montgomery)
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Re: your bizarre anon, Louis is so hot BECAUSE he is not tall or huge and yet has such intense charisma!!! That's EXACTLY why I am dying and my ovaries are exploding every time I see him around taller and bigger men!!!!!
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!! Some of us LIKE THAT ACTUALLY some of us DO NOT FIND BIG GYM DUDES HOT TBH
#my secret UO like its his body and I'll find him hot no matter what bc I love him but#I kind of wish he would STOP bulking up even as much as he is tbh😂 I miss my beloved tummy#anyway antis be reaching out there#they also sent me a message saying Harry is gross because he looks like he doesn't shower which first of all obviously isn't true#that man visibly smells like soap and cologne I can tell even in pictures#and also equating unshavenness/ hair with dirtiness is actually just unexamined racism so YUCK#PASS#but more to the point BABE you could not be more lost if you think that's gonna turn me off gimme that dirtbag realness#I should have kept it so I could be like oh yeah? maybe I should become a harrie after all 😏
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i wish smell-o-vision was real cuz i think i know exactly how eddy's "man stink" cologne would smell
#i order samples of cologne off ebay instead of big bottles cuz i get sick of scents very quickly#and among the fancy stuff they threw in this absolutely atrocious deadstock men's body spray#“british sterling H.I.M. (private stock)”#it smells like a downtrodden man i had the displeasure of walking past in approximately 2004#and colored pencil shavings#the second i smelled it i was like oh this is SO bro and thereby SO 12 year old eddy lmao#smells are weirdly powerful to my brain lol i make very weird associations with smell#which is why i get sick of them so quickly#anyway it makes me wish i could send everyone a sample so you could get the vision
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What's that word?
I finally finished my first playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3, and boy am I feeling things. I think I did a good job! I feel bad for a couple things I failed at, but everyone got a decent happy ending imo
That said, I'm feeling it. That feeling. I forget the word; you've just finished a stormy a wonderful story. It was so good, the characters were amazing, and I finished the final page, closed the book and...
It's sad, like a goodbye, but frantic. It can't be over?! Not yet! It's too soon! It was a beautiful story, I want to stay just a little longer! It's the drop, after the high of experiencing such an amazing story, and I can't remember the word for it! Not melancholy, or withdrawals, but close to it? Surely there's a word for it? I want to stay just a little longer, with these friends you've made, even if they aren't real. They feel close to it. I want to stay.
And I can, of course. Another playthrough or two. I can get to know the characters even better, personalized their happy endings, find my ultimate happy ending, write it on my own if need be!
But... One day, you put the book down, and never open it again. That scares me. I'm glad I've learned, over the years, that when a story touches you this way, you carry it with you, long after the book turns to dust. But that feeling, as the credits roll, and you aren't quite satisfied, even though you can feel that the ending was right...
That's the good thing about books, I guess. You can always read it again. Every ending is a new beginning, no?
This game is definitely a work of art. I'm so thankful for the team that brought it to us! I think my life is better for it!
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#book withdrawals#closing thoughts#I'm not done yet#now#for at least one playthrough dedicated specifically to each companion#I didn't romance anyone this playthrough#but talking with Halsin at the reunion party has me feeling some type of way#yes#I ran off with Karlach as platonic besties#why she turn blue when I hugged her?#also Astarion wouldn't give me a hug because I smelled bad and it hurt my feelings#so I hugged Halsin twice#and Shadowheart#so many hugs#I loved it#*spins in happy and sad*#I wish I could hug them in real life#just once#it was an amazing time guys!#I hope we get to do it again some day!#thank you for coming with me!#i need to play dnd with my group again
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This is funny as hell and also here’s your weekly reminder than Dean Forrester is an oozing infected scab
#wish I was still on Twitter so I could give her kudos#funniest shit ive seen all week#anti dean Forrester#gilmore girls#New Jersyan#shit’s just as bad here too#Dean Forrester is a noxious pollution cloud#that leather jacket smells bad#you are terrible and should feel bad#Dean Forrester lives on Sores and Boils Alley
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There is something very fragile and sad about the fact that Eddie is chasing after the ghost of Shannon. The delusion of it all. The wistfulness. The cry for help.
For all intents and purposes he is “healed,” his spirit is lighter and he seems to be enjoying life a lot more this season. And yet, there’s this big question mark there. What if, what if, what if. What if he’d allowed Shannon to reconnect with Chris earlier. What if he hadn’t enlisted. What if he and Chris left with Shannon. What if she said yes to his proposal? What would their life look like? And he’s chasing after those feelings. He’s chasing after what could’ve been instead of embracing what could be because he still hasn’t dealt with her death or her place in his life. She rejected his proposal and then she died. Like, I can’t imagine what that’s like.
& this is why I don’t think this will be a case of a brain tumor or hallucinations because they’re memories (and I’m prepared to be wrong). Grief isn’t linear and you find triggers in the wildest places. He sees a chance to relive a feeling and create a future he thought he was supposed to have. It’s just so SAD.
#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#911 abc#I was sitting here thinking about how after a funeral I had to leave the house because his brother had the same exact voice as him#and humor!#and how now 3 years later I wish I could savor that because the sound is starting to fade#what I wouldn’t give to have that time back. to truly indulge in the sound and the smell and the feeling of those last few times I saw him#and Eddie is chasing that. he sees this as that chance and it’s delusional as hell and even a little funny but it’s also so damn sad#Eddie love we gone get you help
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feel like a fake fan of books because screens are more comfortable to read on than paper
#it's so much easier to focus when the lines are shorter and the surface is smooth and the pixels move when you touch them#i literally make books for a living and i'm learning bookbinding#and i would still rather read on my phone#i wish i could teleport the unread books on my shelf into my phone so i could use them#and you want to know my worst crime?#i hate the smell and feel of old books. smells like death feels like nails on a chalkboard#i always have#i just didn't have another option until e readers came along#anyway sorry to burst anyone's bubble#i am just a person with a texture issues and adhd
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Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family
#fucking hell#it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister#who was equally dreading the day#my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt#then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high#weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence#i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum#who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf#but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed#they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes#finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously#(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room#and made things appear that should not be there#I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go#you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear#I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well#she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer#maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important
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feel like I need to add a little intrigue, a little spice, a little danger to my life. I need to pick a vice.
#what are my options... alcohol cigarettes reckless sex weed acid ecstasy#alcoholism runs in my family but playing with fire is fun and sexy right?#cigarettes are sexy but I am concerned about the smell. it gives me headaches#reckless sex I wish. it would require me to figure out how to be sexy and to flirt but I feel like so many people do it#I could probably get there eventually. and if I am willing to sleep with straight men probably not a high barrier to entry#weed gives me the jitters but maybe I could find the elusive middle ground between no reaction and extreme full body shakes#acid and ecstacy. I could be a raver. I love concerts and the anime con raves like a LOT. not sure how I would react but I could try lol#i feel like cocaine is not my vibe. also tried snorting pixie stick once and couldn't figure out how it worked. blew it all over my friend#idk what other drugs are there that aren't meth heroin or something similar#these are all ones I hear people talking about doing recreationally#oh Shrooms. and maybe K? shrooms seem cool but also I think I would probably get overwhelmed and vomit#I know literally nothing about K#you guys should give me suggestions. I want to feel cool and sexy and dangerous and preferably not completely ruin my life
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this probably sounds exceptionally vain and exceptionally silly but one of my deepest silly fears is that I come across as an unclean person
#like I swear I’m not I’m incredibly passionate about cleanliness#And I don’t hold any hate for people who don’t have access to the right utilities and things#this is purely personal about me#but I think it’s because all small little things might look it#my hair is incredibly difficult to style without it looking frazzled and greasy when I haven’t worn it out greasy in years#or I don’t have very good skin even though I wash every day and I treat blemishes and things#and I’m always like “what if I smell really bad?!”#and the thing is is that I might#but also I shower every single day and I wear good antiperspirant and I use perfume and I am CLEAN#this feels like such a dumb post but I got tumblr to make random posts about things I didn’t talk to irl people about so here I am#like also teeth!! I clean and floss twice a day very well#my dentist is always impressed like? 😭😭😭#but I’m still 100% convinced I am smelly unclean sewer rat#like I wish I could be someone else for a day just to hang around me and really find out#At this point I’m just rambling and will definitely delete this#I just keep thinking of things#like I pretty much wear the same outfit in terms of looks every day#Like it’s the same base with different jackets#and so what if that makes me seem unclean#But it’s not actually the exact same base it’s a different shirt that looks the same every day#And different jeans#And different jackets#All of which are washed frequently#I don’t think there’s anything I could do to become MORE clean but it’s like a deeply ingrained fear#anyway I pray no one has read to this point I just wanted to ramble#But hi if you have 👋👋👋
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goooood mornie!! ( ˊᵕˋ*) the skies are a lil dreary & grey where im at :< but that doesn’t mean my day has to be the same!! ٩(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )و heres to gettin more stuff done!! have the v best weds my loves!!
#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!#i am!! freshly showered!! i am shaved!! i am!!! SO SMOOTH & SMELL SO GOOD!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১#its a lil cloudy here & chilly & its feelin v fall!! i just wish maybe the sun was out for a lil :/ but hey!! who knows! it could show up!!#i have another busy day of inventory stuff but im hoping it won’t take me as long as yesterdays did ૮꒰ྀི ∩៸៸៸∩ ꒱ྀིა#im gonna make me a lil cup of joe w some vanilla almond milk creamer!! so yummy!! ᐠ( ᐢ ᵕ ᐢ )ᐟ dw! i’m makin you all a cup too!!#im pullin some chairs up for us as we sit w our drinks & read the mornie paper :3 or do the mornie crossword!!!#gonna answer my askies after i get to wrk!! :3 hehee!! have a great daayyyy (⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)
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its me and my inability to compromise against the world
#i hate it when plans are changed i fucking hate it so much#i desperately need to rant about this im having an awful time ..Augh#my dad lost his job and is selling his house. we have at MOST 3 weeks to get out of here#so wrre moving to the house next to my moms. my grandpa owned b4 he died. HOWEVER#i hate that house its dirty as hell. i cant live with my mom theres barely 2 rooms there and i currently sleep on a couch in the living roo#there are 3(?) bedrooms where my dad is moving and they are SIGNIFICANTLY smaller than. literally everything#so well have. not a lot of space. not to mention that all the rooms are shaped so fucking weird. shitty old house bonus#literally everything has the fucking landlord special cause my mom used to rent it except all of the tennants were jerks#so the house has A Vibe. /neg. and its a weird combo of dustu and sticky#Im getting off topic.#i was allowed to choose my room a while back and we all agreed on everything and made plans and thought everything was set in stone#the room i was supposed to get is small asf and has slanted walls. (attic room ig) but it was fine#but my mom was like noo! actually! your older brother is getting that room! we never agreed on anything!!#whicj is AWFUL#i HATE CHANGE#AND. i wish you could see the room im supposed to have now but im at My dad's rn#its so fucking small. the water heater is in there. there's a low hanging fucking duct pipe or whatever right by the door#its pink#it smells like shit#ots right next to the washer and dryer.#there is no light. i hate it so much#ITS SMALL. AND JUST FUCKING SUCKS#i might sound like a dick but everything is so stressful rn i dont want to move school starts in 2 weeks i dont know my schedule i don't#have anyone to talk to. we're all fucking broke as hell and my mom refuses to help my dad because. i dont even know why#sorry. btw#i need someone to talk to so bad#they won't get me a therapist because 1 its not covered by insurance and 2 my dad lost his job and said insurance#i can't get a job because i can't drive and am so mentally fucked up and its so hard for me to do literally anything#i cry at the most insignificant situations and im always on the verge of tears#i get overstimulated so easy i can't fucking do this
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#tw: vent#you know sometimes I think I wasted my childhood away#I think about old memories sometimes and they're so clear it's like they were from a dream I had last night#I can remember how the sun felt I can remember that girls voice I can remember the smell of sandal wood#I can feel the crisping paint on the porch under my feet#and I really really wish I could go back#because I know I spent all that time acting older than I was and making myself a 'big girl' who could handle everything#but I can't#I really really can't and I wish I was twelve again being picked up by my parents after a long day out#and there is laughter in the other room and I sleep without an issue#because I know I say 'oh wherever the wind takes me!' and I tend to act nonchalant about It All but I'm worried man#I'm constantly worried#I don't know#I really don't know
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Idk if anyone wants to see how we decorated Spinkle's space in the camp but... here it is... Please enjoy Spinkle's meat bed, teddy bear circle and Gortash shrine....
#i know this room is the worst smelling thing you could come across#i just knew i wanted to collect every gortash portrait you can find and made that my missikn#wish i wasnt on console so i could take better piccys but whatever#@spinkle#atbd#this did crash the game tho so rip....#it was fun tho#bg3
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