#I wish we could cut off relatives the way you can get divorced and then legally adopt other people as your parents siblings grandparents

[ancientdreamkdj]

can't sleep. My mom woke me banging at my bedroom door at 3 am to curse at me, having an aggression burst. I'm triggered and in anxiety mode since then (its now almost 5 am). I have patients early in the morning to attend to, and a seminar. I feel so tired, yet can't rest. I feel unwell

[legless-fish-on-rollerskates]

Okay obviously any movie adaptation of a book is going to be trimmed down. I get why they didn't spend time on certain things like Nora and Alex's dating history and Ellen's PowerPoint. It makes sense with the way movie beats work to show them getting outed immediately after they reconcile instead of having the extra act of them writing more emails acknowledging their love and fake dating Nora and June to try and take some heat off and Henry coming out to Phillip. Some changes like Henry's surname being different and having a king instead of a queen I know were about not offending the irl royal family and while I'm not exactly a fan of the monarchy I don't really care that much. Pez just being "Percy"? Kinda sad but again, I don't really care. I even understand cutting things like Bea's struggles with addiction, Catherine's depression and detatchment from her children, and Richards being the one who outed them with Raphael Luna as the triple agent - they have value to the story and I wish we could have seen them, but from a filmmaking perspective I can see how they would take up a lot of time to properly include. There were a lot of things I loved about this movie, which I'm adding to the bottom of this post so as not to be a total downer. Overall I think it was a good movie and a relatively faithful adaptation. But also there are some changes I am less a fan of.

So, my biggest issues with the RWRB movie:

Amy being trans is never mentioned? It's literally one line in the book could it not be one line in the movie? (At least they didn't cast a cis actress, so presumably the character is still trans, but we could have said that. She could have at least worn a pin that would not have been hard)

Bea is younger than Henry 🤨 What even was the purpose of this change?

Look I'm not even gonna talk about June we've all talked about June plenty already

Alex already knows he's bi? His idiot crisis is a huge thing! It establishes so much about both his and Nora's characters! Was it really so important to reduce things by five minutes that we couldn't get a quick "wait I like guys???" "congrats you are literally the last to know"

Nora being bi is never mentioned?? I get that without June you'd have Pez focus his affections on Nora but having a thing with a guy doesn't make her straight! She could have at least said something when Alex came out to her! (Also without June you lose the poly undertones of Nora June and Pez which I at least thought was pretty important)

Just gonna reiterate, because the more I'm thinking about it now the more upset it's making me - They erased Nora's bisexuality and Amy's transgenderism and June doesn't exist? Congrats you've killed all the story's queer women

Ellen and Oscar are supposed to be DIVORCED that was IMPORTANT

No inspiring Alex speech to the crowd while they're waiting on Texas - this moment could have been so much more active than standing in the hall waiting and hoping

Alex gives his coming out speech BEFORE they get permission from the crown?? That doesn't even make sense! One, he never talked to Henry about it, and two, the white house would never have risked international relations by letting him do something like that without the king's permission

Getting permission from the crown was way too easy. In the book Catherine literally had to blackmail Queen Mary into letting them come out. You're telling me the king just went, "Are you SURE Henry are you REALLY SURE okay fine"? It way takes down the tension of the climax and also kind of invalidates all of Henry's fear that he's been struggling with the whole movie. It would be way more powerful for him to stand up for himself against a grandparent who was outright against him rather than one who just wasn't really thrilled about it

Why was Henry fully dressed jacket and all after their first time did Alex not reciprocate or what

That being said, things I loved about the RWRB movie:

"And I thought Alexander Gabriel Claremont Diaz was a mouthful" - "He is"

"History, huh?" in the V&A (I'm sad this wasn't in the emails because it means no wider HH movement from the public, but it was really sweet how they did it)

Visibly obvious red-rimmed eyes from both Henry and Alex (though Henry more) throughout most of the third act - just a little detail that I appreciated

Alex's conversation with Henry about being a person in politics who looks like him when his dad didn't have that growing up

Henry full on swimming away so fast when Alex tried to tell him he loved him, no mosquito excuse in sight. This was just really fucking funny I don't know why

Exchanging the necklace for the ring - works really well, great excuse for him not to add the ring to the necklace (for those who don't know, they tried this first but the lump was really obvious and it screwed up the costume so they had to figure out a different way to do it)

Henry continuously playing the piano throughout the movie

"She's not a republican, is she?"

Literally everything Zahra Bankston does and says she is perfect I love her

Mike Holleran is just as irrelevant in the movie as he is in the book. I continue to find this hilarious

Henry differentiating between the persona of HRH Prince Henry and the person he is to himself, specifically the fact that he defines his true self as Henry Fox

The equerry vs butler argument, purely because before we watched the movie I was giving a recap to my dad of the important characters and described Shaan as "basically Henry's personal butler" when he didn't know what I meant by equerry. I'm sorry Shaan I didn't mean it

[collecting-stories]

Cardigan - Rafe Cameron

Request: heyy for the ts anthology, can u do one for cardigan with rafe? love ur writing🤍 

TS Anthology Series | Outer Banks Masterlist

_ . ◦ ⭐︎:*.☾.*:⭐︎◦∙._

The summer you turned thirteen was the same summer your dad showed up again. Driving the same lemon of a car that he’d pulled out of the driveway in when you were six, he looked like he hadn’t aged. Or maybe you just didn’t remember him all that well because his face felt the same but you were different. When you missed your best friend’s birthday, a trip to the gymnastics gym on the mainland and a towering cake with fondant replicas of all her favorite things, she was rightly pissed.  

Thirteen felt monumental, like the movie the two of you had snuck onto your mom’s Verizon bill, and you had both made a pact that you would be there for each other no matter what. That promise included birthdays and, more seriously, dads who showed up after seven years of radio silence because they didn’t want to “miss anything else”. But you didn’t mention your dad because hers was so great and you felt a little like you were floating on an island and no one could understand you enough to reach it. But then you missed her birthday and she swore not to speak to you and that felt more crushing than the dad thing until her brother stepped in. Always the one playing referee in when you fought, Rafe was a few years older and, in your mind, a lot smarter.  

It felt pretty important that an older boy would make the time to talk to you, especially when he had to know that his sister was avoiding you at all costs. He’d just gotten his permit and, like any good brother, showed up in the car he wasn’t supposed to drive with a minor in the passenger seat, to take you around the island for the afternoon.  

“My mom said she thinks we’re gonna move.” You mentioned, less casually than you would’ve hoped. The windows in the truck were rolled down and you had your legs up, feet placed precariously on the window ledge. There was a particularly nasty bruise on your knee from falling off your skateboard three days ago and a few short hairs you’d missed shaving. You were relatively new to both shaving and skateboarding so there were bound to be mistakes, you just wished they were less visible.  

“Off the island?” Rafe asked, concern etched into his tone. You assumed the concern was for his sister, what would Sarah do if you moved? Who would put up with all her antics?

You shook your head, “to the cut.”

“Why?”

“She can’t afford the house on her own anymore and my dad has been lousy with child support.” You repeated back all the things she had said to you. Why she didn’t take him to court like the other kid in your grade with divorced parents was beyond you. Rose told her that it was the only way to ensure he paid what he was supposed to but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to hold him accountable.  

Can’t believe you’re gonna be a pogue.” He said it like it meant something worse than you moving to the mainland.

“It’s not forever. My grandma’s house is there, we’re gonna stay with her until we can get back up on our feet.” You shrugged, “at least my dad’ll stay away then.”

But you dad wasn’t the only one who kept their distance. It felt like the distinction over your mother’s life choices held a greater impact on your friends than they had let on. A year into pogue life and Rafe seemed to disappear almost completely. It had always been an odd kind of friendship in the first place but you’d thought that it could’ve withstood a change in address.  

Sarah kept in touch, unbothered by labels or mailing addresses. She’d been to your grandma’s a hundred times before you moved and she continued to go there to see you after. The two of you played in the backyard, doing tricks on the trampoline until gossiping about kids at school became more important than cartwheels. You’d lay there whispering as if someone might overhear, telling each other stories from the week that you were separated. Rafe always came to pick her up, staying in the car and honking the horn for her but never coming over to see you.  

It felt a little lonely even though you technically retained most of your friends.  

-

In tenth grade you got the role of Eponine in the teen camp production of Les Miserables that the local theatre was putting on. You were technically sharing the role with another girl your age but you couldn’t help being excited nonetheless. The boy playing Marius was in two of your classes, a senior who had lofty city dreams and a nice smile. He flirted almost constantly with you, brushing your hair back, telling you how pretty you were, inviting you out after practice. You told Sarah you were “pretty sure” you were on your way to having your first real boyfriend.  

But maybe the ominous casting of Eponine over your life should’ve been hint enough that things weren’t destined to work out that way. The boy who played Marius had an actual girlfriend, home from vacationing with her family in time to watch her boyfriend on stage, and you were supposed to accept that he was just “connecting to the character” when he was with you. Either way, your On My Own struck a different chord in you and after the show was over you didn’t join the other cast members in the lobby to greet people.  

“So when you get to New York...do I get to leak all those videos of you and Sarah doing your Genie in a Bottle routine?” Rafe asked, pulling a chair next to you at the makeup table. Yours was halfway off but you’d stopped scrubbing at your face to stare at yourself in the mirror. Self-pity was a powerful procrastinator.

“You’re supposed to be in the lobby.” You pointed out, ignoring his comment, “I look like a ghost raccoon that just climbed out of a dumpster.  

“Now there’s an analogy.” He laughed and picked up the cotton pads you had sitting on the counter, soaking one in micellar water and turning your head to face him.  

You bit your bottom lip as you tried to keep your composure. It’d been a while since you and Rafe had been alone and last time he was just your best friend’s cute older brother. Too old for you and way out of your league but you were fifteen now and seventeen didn’t feel so far away.  

But Sarah was your best friend and she would be mortified if she found out that you had even entertained the idea of her brother, let alone had serious thoughts about it.  

“I’m sorry,” you said as he swiped the cotton pad over your cheek.

“What for?”  

“I know we’re all supposed to go out tonight for dinner but I kinda just wanna go home.” You replied.  

“Sarah might’ve let it slip about-”

You groaned, “don’t even say his name.” You weren’t sure if it was embarrassment at having let yourself totally believe he liked you but hearing Rafe bring it up made you feel even worse.

“Hey, you’re so much better than that loser,” He insisted, “I’ll beat the crap outta him though, just say the word.”

-

It was that same year, just as school was ending, that you turned sixteen. A short stay in the cut at your grandma’s house had helped your mom get back on her feet. A new job, better than the one that let her go, afforded a moderately sized house back on Figure Eight and a birthday with all the friends that had left the two of you behind.  

Sixteen felt a little more important than thirteen had, especially because, for two whole weeks, time suspended and you were technically only a year younger than Rafe. You still hadn’t told Sarah that you liked her brother, though she did seem a little suspicious when the crush on your co-star dissipated almost overnight. The boys of the past had no hold over your growing infatuation with Rafe. Maybe it was foolish but you couldn’t help thinking that maybe it wasn’t.  

Especially not when he showed up at your house the same way he had when you were thirteen, though this time he had his actual license and not just a permit. He told you it was birthday drive around the island, that he was in charge of stalling you while Sarah set up a surprise party at your house.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to tell me that it’s a surprise.” You teased, sipping at the iced coffee that Rafe had brought you when he picked you up. You swished the ice around once before sipping again.  

“It’s a party either way.” Rafe replied, shrugging his shoulder.  

“So, we’re just driving around until she texts you?” You asked. Rafe turned into the Island Club, circling the parking lot once and then turning back around.  

“I’m yours until Sarah says otherwise.” He said, the words erupting butterflies in your stomach. You could practically feel yourself heat up thinking about what those words could mean if he wasn’t just your best friend’s brother.  

“Well...then do you wanna go to the beach?” You suggested, “Jaxon showed me this really cool spot on the south side that’s practically hidden.”

“Jaxon?” Rafe sounded judgmental when he said the other boy’s name, whether he meant to or not.  

“Yea, we’ve been on a couple dates. You know him, he took me to prom,” you supplied, thinking of the way Rafe had sulked on the staircase while you and Sarah had gotten your pictures taken on the front lawn of Tanney Hill. The last picture in the bunch, despite his sulkiness, was of you and Rafe. You’d asked and he had obliged, coming down onto the porch to take a picture with you before everyone left for the dance.  

It was your favorite picture, even more than the countless ones of you and Sarah or the few of you and Jaxon. He was just a place holder anyway, someone to take your mind off the thing you couldn’t have. Not that it was working, especially when you were driving around with Rafe at the moment.  

“I remember him.” Rafe replied, “so this special part of the beach?”

“It’s so pretty.” You confirmed, “Sarah and I went there a couple weeks ago but she only ever wants to sunbathe.”  

“Don’t say it like you’re surprised.” He said, pulling his car off to the side of the road when you told him to.  

You were out of the car first, letting the door fall shut behind you as you headed up the wooden ramp to the beach. The drop off at the top was a little steeper here than anywhere else, the beach mostly desolate. You stopped at the top of the walkway, turning back to wait for Rafe. He was standing at the bottom of the ramp staring up at you.  

“Are you coming up or what?” You called.  

“Yeah,” he nodded, walking up the path to you.  

“I know Sarah’s planning a big birthday for me, but I’d much rather have this...” you admitted, “just like, coming out to the beach with you...”  

“Oh yeah?” He asked, grinning down at you.  

“Don’t tell Sarah,” you joked, “she’ll be mad-”

“Why, cause I’m your favorite Cameron?”

Maybe it was being sixteen or maybe it was that you were feeling particularly bold, out here on the beach with just Rafe, no threat of prying eyes to interrupt you. Either way, you had been thinking about telling him for a while now and it felt like the time...even if getting rejected ran the risk of ruining your birthday.  

“I know I’m just Sarah’s best friend but...I really like you Rafe.” You said, “and I know it’s like a million to one that you like me back but I just felt like I would explode if I didn’t tell you.” You waited a beat for him to say something and when he didn’t you kept talking, “Sorry, I know this is so weird-”

“It’s not weird.” Rafe cut you off, “I’m just shocked that you seriously think I only see you as Sarah’s best friend.” His tone was teasing as he brushed a piece of hair behind your ear and cupped your cheek. “You’re so much more than that.”

-

It was Sarah who told you, days before your eighteenth birthday. She’d seen Rafe with someone else when her family took a weekend trip out to Chapel Hill to see a game. There was a girl there, hanging all over her brother. He swore she was just a friend, told Sarah not to tell you, but Sarah wasn’t dumb and she wouldn’t help her brother cover up an indiscretion. So she told you flat out that her brother was cheating on you.  

When Sarah first found out that you and Rafe were dating, she had been as mad as her thirteenth birthday. How could you go behind her back and date her brother? The anger dissipated slowly, over the course of the summer it became clear that were not going to leave her in the dust for Rafe. She wasn’t wholly supportive of the relationship but she was supportive of you and if Rafe was who you wanted to be with than she’d be happy for you.  

But if she had to choose, it would always be you over Rafe.  

“I didn’t want to tell you, I really thought about not saying anything but...you deserve to know.” It was the justification she used as your face fell, all the giddiness from planning your eighteenth birthday fading in the blink of an eye.  

“He cheated?” And it felt like a punch to the gut. “Are you sure?”

“He said she was just a friend but...I don’t hang on my friends like that.” Sarah remarked.  

You fiddled with the phone in your lap, Sarah’s comments turning over in your head. You could refute them, tell her that you’d just talked to him the night before and he told you how excited he was to see you, how much he loved you. He’d used the word love...that had to mean something right? You could call him, ask him straight away if he was actually cheating, but you suspected that he would only lie to you. And if he wasn’t cheating, if he did tell the truth, would you believe him? Sarah was your best friend and once she had planted the seeds of doubt in you, they seemed to flourish there.  

You didn’t say anything else about it to Sarah that night and when Rafe called to talk, like he always did, you pretended that everything was fine. But that could only last for so long. A week before your party, on the same special part of the beach that Rafe had first kissed you, things ended. Rafe had sworn to Sarah that the girl at school was just a friend but he couldn’t lie to you, and he didn’t try to either.  

“It was a mistake,” he insisted, as if it was the type of thing you could brush off.  

“But you still made it.” You replied.  

“I didn’t mean to.” Rafe didn’t have any good reasons for why he had cheated on, only that he had and that, since you now knew, he was apologetic. “I don’t even talk to that girl anymore. She meant nothing to me.”

“Obviously she meant more than we did.”  

Rafe had been it for you for a long time. He seemed so out of your league and you had thought a million times that you would’ve done anything for him. He was the ideal for everything that you wanted and for a while, when you had it, had him, it had felt like a dream. But now you were waking up to reality and it wasn’t a sunset on the beach.  

“I love you.” He said it like it was something you were neglecting to remember.  

“Not enough.”  

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey steph!! This might be a specific ask but could u like recommend me some fic thats like slow burn, unresolved sexual tension, and some bottomlock. And please please please let it be long so that it hits the sweet spot of satisfying your fic needs but also not stupidly long. Also I love your blog

Hi Lovely!!

AHHHH I’m glad you enjoy!! I try my best, LOL. 

AHH I’ve SO MANY slow burn fics, it’s ridiculous, and I do have separate lists for bottomlock, so I can direct you to those.... BUT I DON’T HAVE A LIST FOR MY U.S.T. FICS YES. So can I do that??? Please??? ANY EXCUSE TO START A NEW LIST :| Hee hee. Forgive me??? 

AND as per usual, all my fics are in word-count order, so you can start at the bottom and work your way up, hee hee. CHEERS!

As usual, add your own, friends!!

First, here’s the lists you asked for:

Love Confessions / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. (Fluff Version)

Falling In Love / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. || [MOBILE POST] (April 2019)

Platonics & Domestics Pt 2 / Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 3 / Tooth-Rotting Fluff Pt. 5 / Love Confessions, Slow Burn & Dev. Rel. Pt. 2 / Established Relationship Pt. 3

Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. / Falling in Love Pt. 3 (Nov. 2019) 

Slow Burn / Dev Rel. Pt. 4 (Apr 2020)

Bottomlock (April 2019)

Bottomlock Pt 2

And now, check out my UST/URT list :)

UNRESOLVED SEXUAL / ROMANTIC TENSION

The Other Shoe by thewaitwasworthitlove - (NR, 1,053 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Angst, URT, Post-TSo3) - Sherlock realizes how deep in love he has fallen for John. Only Sherlock Holmes would manage to be more shattered than crystal dropped on concrete.

Clarity by socomessnow (thoughtfulwishing) (NR, 1,283 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Tarmac Scene, Stream of Consciousness, URT, First Person Present Tense, Implied/Referenced Drug Use) - During-and-post-HLV piece tracking Sherlock’s thought process from his phone call with Mycroft to his return to the airfield. Part 1 of Rifts

Untouchable by greengrapegaze (T, 1,368 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-S3, UST/URT, Oblivious John, Lonely Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Emotional Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – “He never would. Petty, childish, immature-bitter. Jealous. She had all that he wanted. All he could never have.” Part 1 of Steps to a Bittersweet Symphony

Love Hurts by Grac3 (T, 2,215 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock, One-Sided Pining / URT, Sherlock / John Whump, Angst, Ambiguous Ending) – In a world where someone's physical injuries manifest themselves on the person who is in love with them, John didn't think that there would ever be anyone who was willing to risk falling in love with him - until he got shot on a case, and it didn't hurt. Unrequited Johnlock.

The Dance Lesson by bittergreens (G, 4,596 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Missing Scene, Dancing, Pining Sherlock, URT/UST, Romance, Angst, POV John) – Sherlock teaches John to dip. Part 1 of Goodnight, Vienna

There's Something Living in These Lines by teahigh (orphan_account) (M, 4,676 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, Love Letters, Angst, Mutual Pining, UST / URT, Dirty Talk) – Two men, complete opposites in almost every way, who speak only in letters and pages torn from books.

You Can't Always Get What You Want by hubblegleeflower (E, 4,804 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Sexual Tension, UST / RST, First Time) – John wants. He always has, but now that he's living with Sherlock again, it's all he can do to hold it back. And Sherlock isn't helping...

Wasted Hours by songlin (E, 4,973 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || O!John/A!Sherlock, Pining, UST, Angst & Porn) – John is respectful. John keeps his distance. He doesn’t look at Sherlock when Sherlock decides trousers are for dull people. He doesn’t breathe in and savor it when Sherlock flings himself onto the couch first thing in the morning, wafting alpha scent, dressing gown settling around him in a cloud of blue silk. He doesn’t linger when he’s piecing Sherlock back together after a fight, even though he’s half-dressed and beautiful and right there. He can ignore it. He can control it.

Captain John Watson, Genetics, and Other Crazy Things by cyerus (M, 5,581 w., 1 Ch. || Torchwood Crossover ||  Humour / Crack, Jealous Sherlock, Sexual Magnet John, Captain John, UST / RST, Three Continents Watson) – The explanation for John "Three Continents" Watson? Jack Harkness is his father. Sherlock doesn't know whether he's going to die from jealousy or sexual frustration first.

No Light, No Light (in your bright blue eyes) by orphan_account (G, 5,915 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Pining, Songfic, Mutual Unrequited Love, Unresolved Tension, UST/URT) – Relates to both Sherlock's and John's feelings for each other and highlights select moments of hurt and inner turmoil starting from right before the fall all the way to HLV.

Drawstring by May_Shepard (E, 7,412 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3/TAB, Friends to Lovers, UST/RST, Fluff and Smut, Post-TAB, John POV, Sherlock’s Pyjamas, Rimming, Wanking) – John is bothered by Sherlock’s slowly-falling jim-jams… as in hot and bothered and he is trying to deal with a sexy dishevelled Sherlock while also keeping his pining in check.

High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, 7,429 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, Miscommunications / Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time, BAMF John, Insecure Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, POV John, Embarrassed John, Adorable Sherlock, Junk Size, UST / RST) – John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you're coiled like a spring and ready to be ... sprung?” “If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.” “Like I said, you should do something about that.” “And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –” “I don't mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

Alone On the Water by Mad_Lori (G, 7,725 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, UST/URT, Angst, Euthanasia, Love Confessions) – Sherlock Holmes never expected to live a long life, but he never imagined that it would end like this.

All the Times Something ALMOST Happened by allonsys_girl (T, 9,049 w., 6 Ch. || POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Angst, Friendship/Love, UST) – John and Sherlock dancing around what they dance around in canon.

Someone I Love by hudders-and-hiddles (M, 10,002 w., 2 Ch. || Canon Compliant, HLV-Filler Fic, Pre-Slash, Jealous John, PIning Sherlock, Angst & Fluff, UST/URT, Dog Tags) – John gets married and Sherlock finds comfort in wearing John's identity tags around his wrist.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

Their Great Reward by BeautifulFiction (T, 10,095 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Fluff) – Boxing day, in John's opinions, is the worst day of the year. Christmas is over, the tree is wilting and stripped of gifts, and there's a week of dead-time until the clean slate of the new year. However the combination of a blizzard, a power-cut and Sherlock might just make it a day to remember.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim's hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by cypress_tree (E, 10,669 w., 1 Ch. || UST/RST, For an Experiment) – John helps Sherlock with an experiment: for an entire month, they are not allowed to touch each other and must remain at least one metre apart at all times.

I'm content as we are (but) by inqui (The_Circus) (E, 13,086 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, UST/RST, Pining, Victor Trevor, Minor Whump, First Kiss / Time, Misunderstandings) – In which John Watson sees something unusual, becomes jealous, and makes too much of a small thing as an old friend of Sherlock's shows up in the middle of a case.

Say For Me, Love by MirabileLectu (T, 13,147 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Drama, Pining John, Victor Trevor) – If you had asked John this morning what the result of his quiet afternoon at home would be, discovering a truth about Sherlock's past startling enough to shift the foundations of their friendship would not have been his first guess. So naturally, that was what was bound to happen.

Barricade by stitchy (M, 14,127 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fix It, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending, UST, Mary’s Not Nice, First Time, Pining Sherlock, Time Skip Filler, Drunkenness) – Sherlock has been struggling to keep his feelings at bay for everyone's sake. Part 1 of Barricade

Second Chance by SilentAuror (E, 15,816 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Post-Divorce, Friends to Lovers, UST, Romance) – Now that John's divorce has gone through and the dust is settling, Sherlock thinks that he would very much like to see if there is any possibility of moving their friendship in another direction. The only thing is, he has no idea how to go about doing that...

Anytime by SilentAuror (E, 17,995 w., 1 Ch. || UST, Porn With Feels, POV Sherlock, Romance, UST/URT, Happy Ending, Drunken Endeavours) – Sherlock blinks and attempts to focus. There is a little too much vodka in his veins at the moment and it’s having an unfortunate effect on his brain and retinas both. There are two Johns sitting across from him, and both of them are frowning at him. “You’re drunk,” the Johns tell him. Sherlock blinks some more. “Says the man with Mrs Hudson’s doily on his head.”

John Watson doesn't have a Boyfriend by naughtyspirit (E, 18,932 w., 7 Ch. || UST / URT, Fluff & Smut, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – John's date has gone very well. Sherlock requires tea. John wishes he hadn't resolved that their relationship was strictly hands off and isn't about to address it. Unless he has to. Smut, fluff and shower time for a naked John Watson.

For you, there's only me by shock_blanket (E, 19,557 w., 7 Ch. || Jealous Idiots, Virgin Sherlock, UST/RST, Pining, Miscommunication, First Kiss / Time, Insecure Sherlock, Masturbation) – Sherlock realizes he has fallen in love with John, but believes he is unlovable. Cue lots of pining and jealousy on Sherlock's part, followed by our favorite cuddly marksman making it all better. Because for Sherlock, there's only John.

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson’s urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w., 20 Ch. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Masturbation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (E, 35,353 w., 7 Ch. || Humour and Angst, Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, UST / RST, Friends to Lovers, Jealous John) – Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody's happy.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) –  Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w., 19 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate's charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim?

[carewyncromwell]

Hi guys! I thought I’d start this HPHM AU Ships Challenge, just for funsies! Feel free to steal and pass it along, if thou dost wish!

Tagging @dat-silvers-girl, @annabelle-tanaka-official, @angellazull, @lifeofkaze, @samshogwarts, @drinkyoursoupbitch, @kc-needs-coffee, @cursed-ice-spirits​, @thatravenpuffwitch​, @cursebreaker-lilith​, @cursebreakerfarrier​, and @cursebreakerelmswood​! 💖💛💙💚

What HPHM characters (or MCs) could you see your MC dating, in an AU? What would their relationship be like? Why did you ultimately decide not to go with that ship, or do you still hold a torch for it?

My answers for my girl Carewyn are under the cut!!

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist starting with a recycled doodle of my canon ship, the HMS Carion. 🥰)

Andre Egwu

Alright, right off the bat, we should discuss Carewyn’s canon ex, Andre. Carewyn and Andre attended the Celestial Ball and dated until their fifth year, breaking up right after the All-Wizard tournament. Fortunately despite their break-up, they’ve stayed on good terms and still greatly respect each other -- but truthfully, I never intended for them to be a long-term match in any universe. If you’d like to read more about why Carewyn/Andre didn’t work out, you can consult this analysis, but to put it very simply, Andre was someone Carewyn admired deeply, but couldn’t ever be completely herself around. And from a personal perspective, my parents are one of those rare couples who remained friends even after divorcing, and I’ve always found their relationship really fascinating, as no one can deny they do still sincerely love and admire each other, even if it’s no longer romantically. Carewyn and Andre know each other in a way no one else does, so it gives their friendship a depth that it didn’t have before -- so unlike with a lot of relationships, their bond actually strengthened after they broke up, rather than falling apart. 

Bill Weasley 

In Carewyn’s canon, Bill ends up becoming Carewyn’s best friend. Although at the start, their relationship had much more of a surrogate big brother/little sister dynamic, over time the two ended up on much more equal terms, both as Cursebreaker partners and as unofficial “parents” for the rest of their friend group. Bill is Carewyn’s right-hand man both while dealing with the Cursed Vaults and while leading the Circle of Khanna, and even though Carewyn wants nothing to do with Cursebreaking after dealing with the Vaults, she’ll still drop everything to help Bill with his work, should he need her. Bill is the one who came up with the nickname “Carey” for Carewyn, and he’s also arguably the friend who understands Carewyn best after the death of Rowan, given the similarities in their personalities and how long they’ve known each other. I actually did write out a post guessing what a romantic relationship between these two might’ve been like if they’d become a thing, but honestly, I’ve never really shipped these two. Carewyn may not be entirely based on me (she’s got elements of my mum too), but one aspect of the wish fulfilment for me early on was that my girl could have a ride-or-die best friend like Ron was for Harry in the original Potter books. In the end, that friend ended up being Bill, Ron’s eldest brother and a character I loved when I first read the books and only became fonder of through the game. And honestly, we could really use more sincerely loving, but completely platonic male-female friendships that never bump up against romance!!

Talbott Winger

Talbott and Carewyn are truly “birds of a feather,” though one would never know it based on their respective masks. Talbott is the sort to put a gruff facade on to hide his more sensitive feelings, while Carewyn is the sort to put on a pretty face to hide her angrier and sadder feelings. Underneath, though, they both are stubborn, intelligent, and distrustful people with a strong desire to fight evil and a creative spirit. After becoming an Animagus, Carewyn would frequently fly around the school grounds with Talbott in robin form, singing songs for both herself and Talbott, and even though Talbott teased her about it, he did sincerely enjoy it. Carewyn loves reading Talbott’s poetry, and Talbott is also one of the few people who can get Carewyn to laugh a lot, since their senses of humor line up really well. Last but not least, they become a lawyer and an Auror post-Hogwarts, so they end up working together A LOT, especially post-War. I did write a prompt once about what a Talbott/Carewyn romance would be like, and I admit, I could see them being a relatively good couple, particularly since I headcanon both of them as being on the ace spectrum. That being said, though, I ultimately didn’t go with Talbott for Carewyn for two reasons. One, I thought they’d be too similar in a lot of ways (most notably, they’re way too friggin’ serious -- give each of these two some sunshine, will you??) -- and two, on a much more superficial note, Talbott was so popular that I kind of hesitated before having Carewyn ask him out. (Plus come on, for that date, how much of a b*tch would you have to be to break Andre’s heart and then snatch up an outfit he made for you to wear on a date with his dormmate?! Just -- COME ON.)

Chiara Lobosca

When I first started playing HPHM, I strongly considered shipping my girl with Chiara, once she broke up with Andre. From the moment Chiara and Carewyn met, Carewyn just knew she had to know Chiara better, and that ended up being because -- thanks to her latent Legilimency potential -- she could subconsciously sense that Chiara and she were similar in a lot of ways. Most importantly, Chiara was very lonely and desperately longed for a friend, which reminded Carewyn of how lonely her pre-Hogwarts life was, especially after Jacob disappeared. Once Carewyn earned Chiara’s trust, Carewyn proved herself to be a very loyal friend, even learning how to become a robin Animagus so she could keep Chiara company and cheer her up with twittered songs during full moons. Both Carewyn and Chiara are sensitive “Healer” type personalities (though Chiara is a bit more literal of one) who fight against their own crippling self-loathing to try to nurture others. This, in the end, though, is why I hesitated on making them official and why I’m ultimately glad I didn’t. Like Talbott, Chiara in some ways is too similar to Carewyn, and I think in a romantic relationship, they wouldn’t grow as much as people through their interactions. I did come up with quite a few ideas about what their relationship might be like -- but ultimately I couldn’t help but feel that Carewyn’s happy ending couldn’t just be about peace, but about finding someone who could challenge and contrast her.

Diego Caplan

This  started off as a crack ship for me before actually gaining some legs and becoming Chiara/Carewyn’s main opponent, when it came to my debate with myself regarding Carewyn’s romantic future. In contrast to Chiara, Diego is pretty much Carewyn’s complete opposite. Carewyn is a planner. Diego is spontaneous. Carewyn is meticulous. Diego is flirtatious. Carewyn is serious. Diego is anything but. Carewyn is ace. Diego I headcanon as pan. And yet they both have their romantic and creative sides and are both seasoned fighters and loyal friends. Diego would definitely be able to bring some levity to Carewyn’s life, while Carewyn could bring some grounding to Diego’s. Diego even has a cute little nickname for Carewyn from their time in the Circle of Khanna: “general!” In short, these two would be perfect leads in a rom-com chick flick. But this, ultimately, ended up being why I hesitated on making them official and why I’m ultimately glad I didn’t. Diego/Carewyn is a ship that could really only bloom and blossom under fair conditions, and I had trouble seeing Diego being equipped to deal with Carewyn’s darker emotions or even her more intellectual bent. Just like with Chiara, I came up with plenty of ideas about how these two could be as a couple -- but I really felt as though Carewyn needed more than just “fun” as a happy ending. And ultimately, this conflict between peace VS fun ended up coming to an end when I discovered Carewyn/Orion, as Orion could provide Carewyn with both.

Jae Kim

Okay, honestly? When I first encountered Jae as a character, I didn’t think he and Carewyn would have anything in common, but in a weird way, they sort of subvert their respective house’s stereotype by exhibiting values from the other’s house! Gryffindors are seen as these rash, reckless, show-off hero types, but Jae showcases a lot of Slytherin-worthy cleverness, resourcefulness, and disregard for rules and what others think of him. Slytherins are seen as these cold, cruel, ambitious villain types, but Carewyn showcases a lot of Gryffindor-worthy courage, nobility, and selflessness. And so even though Jae is generally a rulebreaker and Carewyn is generally a rule-follower, when circumstances made it ideal for them to be on good business terms (namely, working in detention together and Carewyn needing an ally who knows Knockturn Alley and Jae needed an ally who was a Prefect), they soon found a lot of common ground. Add to that how much Carewyn encourages Jae’s cooking talent while respecting his privacy, and it’s little wonder that post-Hogwarts, when Jae opens up his own pub on the border of Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley, the two still meet up very frequently to swap news from their respective corners of the world. I admittedly don’t know how well Carewyn’s job as a magical lawyer would be conducive to her being anything other than friends with Jae, and I don’t think they’d ultimately have many interests in common, so I do much prefer them as friends, but their dynamic is full of fun contrasts! 

Ben Copper

Hahaha, oh god. So. Obviously Ben in-game is still very polarizing, but in my canon, Ben and Carewyn’s relationship is really complex and honestly one of my absolute favorite friendships for my girl. Ben was one of Carewyn’s very first friends, so he -- like Rowan, Bill, and Penny -- knows Carewyn in a way few others do. He befriended her before she became known as the poised, perfect Slytherin “Mama Bear,” but unlike her other friends, he was a bit disappointed by her abrupt transformation between her third and fourth years. While those like Bill, Penny, and Andre saw it as Carewyn coming into her own, Ben noticed how much Carewyn put herself “over” the rest of her friends, becoming their protector more than their equal, and Ben lamented it, disliking how he felt like a responsibility to Carewyn more than her friend. But Ben kept those feelings inside, not knowing how to properly express them when he did still cherish Carewyn’s friendship. After the events in the Portrait Vault, Ben went through his own dramatic change, and Carewyn sure enough didn’t end up liking it any better than Ben had liked hers. But ultimately the two had a heart-to-heart and realized that they both had become very different people than the kids who’d befriended each other in first year. After Rowan’s death and the formation of the Circle of Khanna, the two reforged their friendship on more equal terms. I did actually write out an AU roleplay where Ben and Carewyn’s confrontation in Jacob’s room ended up hinting Ben/Carewyn, but I ultimately think that the people they ultimately become are way too different to be a great romantic match. It makes their friendship fascinating, as it makes you wonder how such a tall, suspicious, reckless Gryffindor ever befriended such a poised, methodical, lady-like Slytherin...but even if they do feel a lot of deep platonic love for each other and I personally headcanon Ben being on the ace spectrum like Carewyn, I ultimately think they’d have very different dreams in mind for their future and would each need something different in a romantic partner. 

Barnaby Lee

Barnababy!! 💚 Yeah, Barnaby Lee is my personal favorite HPHM character, and yet I have never really shipped him seriously with Carewyn, even though I love their relationship and could see potential chemistry. Barnaby and Carewyn are both amazingly sensitive, loyal, and modest Slytherins with a love of magical creatures and a strong sense of honor, but they also contrast each other in some fun ways too. Carewyn may put on a happy face a lot, but she’s actually rather pessimistic. Barnaby’s unblinkingly optimistic and he wouldn’t even dream of putting on a mask to hide his feelings. Then of course there’s the fact that Carey-Bear is this tiny and rather physically weak thing, while Barnaby is a perfectly dashing tank. 😂 Barnaby and Carewyn are both protective of each other, as seen by Barnaby throwing himself in front of Carewyn to shield her from an Imperiused Rowan’s spell and Carewyn verbally tearing into Ismelda when she learned she planned to use a Love Potion on him. Barnaby was the one who really taught Carewyn about how deceiving appearances can be, and Carewyn was the one who really taught Barnaby about how generous and selfless friendship could be, so they both respect each other a lot. For all that respect, though, there’s a significant slant to their relationship. Carewyn supports Barnaby emotionally infinitely more than she would ever let him support her, so their dynamic comes across as very “mother/son��-like rather than complete equals. Plus, honestly, I think Barnaby and Carewyn’s dreams for their respective futures -- namely, to be a magizoologist traveling the world and to be a magical lawyer for the Ministry of Magic -- don’t match up in the least bit. I could also see Barnaby wanting a large family, and Carewyn has no interest in bearing children herself and would prefer a quieter home life. 

[rosy-wooyoung]

He needs someone | Park Seonghwa

Words count: 3.3k whoops Pairing: kindergarten teacher! reader x police officer!, single dad! Seonghwa Genre: F L U F F and a squint of angst once A/N: I tried my best, it’s a concept I had in mind for a while and I’m glad I managed to write something :’) I’m sorry in advance if you notice mistakes, English isn’t my first language but at least I tried, right? The gif isn’t mine as usual, all the credits go to the talented creator :)

The first day of the week was coming to an end and you were happy. You loved your job, really, it was a real pleasure to get up in the morning and take care of adorable children your students. They were nice, polite, you had to raise your voice from time to time for the order to come back, but it was rare. However, the past few days were more of a chore than a pleasure, because you were worried about one student in particular. His name was Haneul. He was a 5-year old boy full of energy, kindness and the politest of all your students. Already at his age, he was altruistic, always ready to play with others or help you tidy up things that weren't necessarily his. Despite his good attitude and politeness, you noticed that he was missing something, but you couldn't put your finger on it. Until one afternoon, when you left school, it struck you.

He was one of the few students who didn't have two parents. Yes, some had two mothers or two dads, or their divorced parents came to pick them up each in turn, but for Haneul, everything seemed different. It was always his father who came to pick him up or his grandmother, but it was very rare. You were beginning to question yourself, wondering if Haneul had a mother or other relative that took care of him except for his father. Perhaps his mother was seriously ill, or even dead. You had noticed several times where Haneul was in a bad mood, especially when you asked your students what they had done during the weekend. It was a ritual that you did every Monday morning and many children were talking about their parents. Haneul was always silent during these kinds of moments. Unable to give special treatment, you also asked him questions, especially about the toy cars he loved to take to school, and you tried to get him to talk about his father most of the time. You didn't want to make him uncomfortable or cry in front of the other students, so you carefully avoided the mom's subject.

You were in the school playground, chatting with another teacher to look after the children who were waiting for their parents. It was rush hour, everyone was out of work and the traffic was very heavy, which caused most of the delays for parents. When you noticed Haneul’s father, you excused yourself to your colleague, took the boy’s little hand and walked towards the man. You couldn't lie, his father is a charismatic man. Whenever he entered the yard, single mothers - and sometimes even some married women, in the presence of their husbands - stared at him. He exuded a certain class and a form of serenity which reassured everyone. Maybe it was his uniform that provided that kind of emotion. Yes, his father was a policeman. You have seen him repeatedly patrolling the city or your neighbourhood, even sometimes waiting for his son in his car. At first glance, his life seemed to be devoted to bringing order within the city, but really, it revolved solely around his son. His serious and distant mask fell every time his son ran into his arms or showed him a craft he did in class. He was also one of the few parents who wrote you a kind note for Christmas to thank you for your hard work and it touched you.

When you reached Haneul's father with him, a veil of concern crossed the eyes of the man standing in front of you. He seemed worried and had walked much less assuredly than the other times that you had seen him. "Good evening ma'am. Thanks for calling me. Has Haneul not behaved well?" He questioned as his son, oblivious to the situation, jumped into his arms, kissing his dad’s cheek. "No, your son is a remarkable little boy, full of goodwill and very polite, but there is a delicate subject that concerns him which I would like to talk with you if you would like." The policeman looked at his son and put him on the ground before nodding. "Haneul," he said, crouching down next to his son, "will you play with your friends for a while? I need to speak with your teacher for a few minutes, it won't be long, okay?" Haneul nodded without hesitation and left to replay with his friends, running towards them. "I'm listening," his voice was hesitant, but he tried to keep a neutral expression. "First, I want to tell you that you don't have to answer or take into account what I'm going to tell you, and this is by no means a psychological diagnosis, just an observation me, his teacher." He nodded, a sign for you to continue. "Well, I have a tradition every Monday morning of asking certain students to tell us about their weekend, it's mainly to encourage them to speak in front of others, but the more this discussion advances in the morning, the more I see your child withdrawing into himself, sometimes he's even on the verge of tears when one of his classmates mentions their mother."

The policeman didn't seem shocked by your statement, but your words didn't leave him indifferent. He said nothing but looked behind you, carefully avoiding your gaze. "I don't want to interfere in your private life, but I have always wondered if Haneul had another parental figure beside you because he looks like he wants one…" He sighed as your voice trailed. "But aside from this little detail, Haneul is a golden child, he's always ready to stop arguments or help me tidy up, his education is remarkable, it's also something I wanted to tell you." You were trying to save yourself from embarrassment, given his lack of reaction, and his smile returned when you complimented his son, but it was not as warm as usual. You knew that you had touched a sensitive point and you had decided to cut short the discussion to not make it more uncomfortable. He already seemed pained enough like that, so you motioned for Haneul to come back to his father. "I'm sorry officer, but I have a few more things to do in class, I wish you a very good evening." You smiled at him and he greeted you with a brief whim and an almost inaudible "thank you".

By putting away the last chairs, you deeply regretted your words. It was none of your business, but Haneul's situation gave your heart a twinge. You were thinking of a softer way to approach the subject again, but you could not find any other solution. You didn't sleep much that night, bitterly regretting the discussion.

What did you have to pry in things that were none of your business?

The two days following this discussion were painful because the policeman did not come to pick up Haneul, it was his grandmother. You were almost ready to ask Haneul for his address to go and apologize to his father. Thursday afternoon was finally the day he decided to reappear. When you saw him again, you rushed inside, leaving your colleague alone in the school playground. You pretended to put the tables and chairs back in their place if he looked through the windows. Wanting to give him enough time to leave, you filled the kettle with water and heated it on its base. "Can I speak to you?" A throat clears which startled you, almost making you drop the kettle. You turned around and found the policeman in the doorway. He was not wearing his uniform, but his aura of authority and confidence was still there. "Yes, but I-" "No, don't apologize." "Please, let me. I wanted to apologize, I got involved in things that were none of my business. I was so mad at myself that I haven't slept well for the last few days." "Yes, Haneul told me you weren't as energetic as usual, but don't worry about me. Your words had the effect of a cold shower and I believe it was necessary." He said with a soft smile, scratching the back of his neck. You nodded, gesturing him to take your chair as you sat on one of the tables, keeping a reasonable distance. "I thought my mother and I would be enough for Haneul's education. His... well, his mother left us when he was two years old. When we learnt that we were expecting a baby, we made an agreement together. I promised to reduce my time at work to take care of her and Haneul. However, nothing went according to plan and I ended up working almost twice more. I was terrified that I would not have enough money to support them and because I didn't keep my promise to my girlfriend, she left. I thought she was going to get away with the situation because she was very independent, but it was only after she left me that I realized that she needed me." He paused, allowing you to let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. "After your statement, I said to myself that I should try to get her back, even if the two of us wasn't going to work, we could at least try for Haneul, but it's too late. I saw her in the store where I regularly grocery shop. She was with another man and she seemed much happier and more radiant than when she was with me. I simply greeted her, but I couldn't see myself begging her to come back in front of her new boyfriend. I know I fucked up and I regret it now, but I don't know what else I can do." You got up and turned off the kettle, pouring the hot liquid into two cups. You handed him one and leaned against your desk. "I understand that you are in a difficult situation, but now it's too late to get your ex back, that is clear. She moved on but it’s human, you also did it by busying yourself at work, according to what you're telling me. She is certainly mad at you and that is normal, I also understand her reaction, but you must start looking elsewhere, or even around you." "I talked to Haneul about it, and he admitted he missed having a mom. But you know, there aren't many people out there who want to go out with a policeman, so if he also has a child, it's complicated. And I assure you, I tried, I really tried, but they all left as soon as I mentioned my son. Selfishly, I prefer that Haneul does not have a mother rather than having one who does not love him. I need someone who loves me and him." "I understand, he is a part of you. You know, it was just a statement, I never ordered you to look for someone, you must not misunderstand my words. If you feel that you and your mother are enough for the education of your son, then you must follow your gut. But I remain in my position that your little one needs a maternal figure. Otherwise, growing up, he will no longer distinguish his mother from his grandmother, since it will be the same figure, you see?" The discussion was coming to an end, but the officer didn't seem to ready to leave. His gaze was lost into the void and he sipped on his tea. Suddenly, he regained his senses, gulped the remaining of his cup and put it in the sink. He smiled at you and held out his hand for you to squeeze. "My name is Park Seonghwa. Officer Park Seonghwa. And thank you for being so kind to my son, he loves you and it's nice not having to fight to get him out of bed." You blushed at his compliments and squeezed his hand, his grip not as hard as you thought it was going to be. It was firm but had nothing dominant or aggressive. "Y/L/N Y/N, I'm glad your son is having fun coming here, I'm trying to do everything for it. " "And... thank you for listening to me, because you really didn't have to. I think I needed to tell someone neutral. You know, parents are never very objective,” he said, not letting go of your hand. "I'm glad to have helped you, officer... And again, sorry for my mistake, I was just worried about Haneul." "This is a closed matter now, Y/N, don't worry about it anymore. Have a safe trip back home. Good night." You smiled at him and saw him leave with Haneul. Through the window, he greeted you with a wave which you answered with a slight smile.

The weekend had finally arrived, and you wanted to go for a walk in the park. The heat of May allowed you to go out only wearing a big sweater above your casual dress, a light scarf protecting your throat from the light wind. You sat on a bench and took out a book, adjusting your sunglasses and crossing your legs. Later, a group of eight adults with a child settled under the weeping willow, located a few meters from you, in the grass. Your vision wasn't the best, you squinted because you seemed to recognize Haneul. He also seemed to have recognized you because he pulled the sleeve of a man you immediately acknowledged: Seonghwa. He looked up and smiled at you, his son pulling him in your direction. You put your book down and watched, amused by the situation. The rest of the group was looking either at the father or you, which made you bright red. Seonghwa crouched and whispered something in his son's ear. A smile lit up his face and sprinted towards your bench.

"Hi Haneul, how are you?" "Hello, Teacher! I’m okay!! You are alone?" He asked, tilting his small head. "Yes, I'm enjoying the nice weather." "Daddy would like to know if you want to come and join us..." You smiled at the kid and looked up at Seonghwa. He had a tender smile on his face and Haneul pulled you from your seat by grabbing your hand. You laughed and gathered your things, Haneul running to his father.

Seonghwa greeted you and introduced you to the rest of the group, his colleagues. You weren't sure how to behave since they represented the law, but they were all lovely with you. Some asked you questions about your job and Haneul, including a man named Hongjoong, who you learnt was Haneul's godfather, who seemed fascinated by your work. Another colleague, Mingi, was very interested since his sister also worked as a teacher, but in their hometown. The rest of the day went by without problems, the group of police officers quickly put you at ease, abandoning the formalities. Clouds had formed and began to hide the sun, abruptly ending this wonderful day. When Wooyoung felt the first drops of water fall on his skin, you all hurried to pack up and take refuge in their cars. Haneul hadn't followed his father, he had run with Yunho in his car. You were soaking from head to toe, your sweater nowhere to be seen, your dress sticking to your body. You just hoped that your underwear was not showing through the wet material.

"You're beautiful." Seonghwa's deep voice rang out in the car and made you faced him. His hair fell in front of his face, droplets soaking his white t-shirt. Unlike his uniform, it gave you a good overview of his shoulders and his muscular torso. His eyes never left you, something had changed in them. You smiled, a bit embarrassed, watching the rain trickle down the windows, suddenly being very hot. A hand grabbed your chin and your face was now very close to Seonghwa's, his eyes lost in yours. Your heart was pounding, you were sure he could hear it, but you couldn't look beyond his beautiful eyes. Not when you had such a handsome officer in front of you. "May I?" He whispered, almost out of breath, his gaze moving back and forth between your eyes and your mouth. His expression was very intense, you could only accept. When his lips met yours, the tension in your shoulders disappeared and fireworks exploded in your stomach. You responded to the kiss immediately, surprising yourself, but it was too hard to resist. His lips were as soft as if you were kissing a chocolate coulis. The kiss was warm, intense, but filled with tenderness.

To your great disappointment, this tender exchange was shortened by someone knocking on Seonghwa's window. Yunho was there, an amused smile on his lips. You stopped the kiss, quickly pulling you away from Seonghwa's arms. You hadn't even realized in the kiss that he had embraced you, pressing you even more against him. You tried to catch your breath and Seonghwa lowered the window, embarrassed to have been surprised by his colleague. "Am I disturbing something?" Yunho said, refraining from laughing. "What do you want?" Seonghwa dryly replied, not amused by the situation at all. "I'm coming to bring your son back to you, I think he was in the wrong car. But to see what you were doing; I think I'll bring it back to me." "Shut up and bring him up to the back,” Seonghwa ordered. You had found back the police officer, strict and distant, as when he came to pick up his son.

When Yunho had fastened Haneul’s seatbelt and closed the car door, Seonghwa started the car and brought you home without saying a word, just a few glances exchanged on the way as well as apologetic smiles. When your resident building came into your range of vision, disappointment stung your heart. "Thanks for driving me back." You muttered, unsure how to behave with the little one in the back. "No problem." Seonghwa smiled, glancing into the rear-view mirror. Haneul was soundly sleeping and the policeman seized this chance to quickly connect your lips. "Ha! I knew it! Daddy loves Teacher Y/N!" Haneul's frail voice rang out in the car, scaring you both. You hurried out of the car and Seonghwa mouthed you to call him later. You entered the hall without turning around and you heard the car leave. "Daddy, do you like Teacher Y/N?" "Yes, kind of. " "Does that mean she's going to be my mom?" "Only if you want it." Seonghwa watched his son's reaction as the car came to a red light. The child had a neutral face, but he suddenly smiled with all his teeth and looked at his father in the rear-view mirror. "Yes!"

[radcalm]

If he didn't treat your mother right, he is not your father.

No matter he may repent and try to get on my side to team up.

Sometimes it hurts more from the defenders rather than the perpetrator of violence. You can't believe how many good people you trust would simply choose to ignore you in face of a "good man" who does bad things.

Bad husbands can not make good fathers. By showing disrespect for women in their lives they are also they don't respect their kids and harming them.

****************

Tw// domestic abuse

Long rambling- read at your own discretion

I've hurt more from seeing my mom hurt or be guilty or doubtfull of everything she done, even years after the aborted failed abusive marriage. I've also been beaten as an infant and a little kid but i've kept quiet to divert his attention from my mother. I was very young barely able to speak full sentences yet but i still remember dodging his blows and tantrums by hiding under furnitures while alone and thinking of how i tried my best to act normal and hide what he did around my mother because i knew it would break her. I knew people would look at my mother first with questioning looks. These thoughts formed before i could voice it out, and i was praised for being a quiet brooding infant- to a kid - to early teens - that i seemed so adultlike and pensive. It's an adult's world i should've never known at that age

Yet my existence itself was marred from the moment of birth since i was a female baby. He wanted abortion and i'm reminded of that fact seldom that i could've been killed in favour of a male baby and heir. What he is a failure no matter what i do because i'm female and will be the secondary variation of males that devalues the same achievements i do, the milestones i make. While he believes in housewives and servitude he gets onto his knees and begs for my forgiveness and that he loves me. I feel contempt at his "love" and cut him out from my life making me the stubborn heartless girl and kicking away my filial duties and virtues in a particular traditional east asian Confuscianist society. The world moves foward but male perception of women stays the same.

The father being praised and him bragging about what a good father he was. Because he was perfect from the outside, the perfect career, money and social circles, social justice work. My mother also had all of those things before was gaslit into giving all those things to provide for me. His showoff wealth actually belonged to my mother. But since women and wife, daughter is considered property to some regressive cultures, he could pass the property now as his own. The fact that a woman forshadowed him hurt his pride and he felt the need to compensate it on his masculinity. What better way than to subjugate the very women who made him feel lost and inferior?

Every now and then i'm seething with hot coal when i see my mother regretting or doubting, or feeling guilty about her divorce, and the people who judge her for not being strong enough to endure and stay. I'm proud and happy that she was strong and smart to confront the demons and made a choice to protect herself and her family. Of people who tell her there would've been warning signs, that it's her fault for not being able to fix him. Of a society that made her feel that she failed at making a feminine virtue, of making a family and maintaining it. Of the world that made the girl in pigtails cry in silent angry tears while my father was in court for an attempted murder of his little kid and that kid who vowed to become a judge to take revenge and make every sick man pay, instead of acquitting them like he was dimissed lightly. Of the murmers and words from adults who pitied but also blamed my mother and the rude kid turning against her own father. While people scrutinized us for being female or not being female enough, or not being strong enough that women dont fend for themselves, the focus was already off the actual man who did it. And they forgot. But that anger and fear as a little girl persisted and stays a part of me as a young adult.

Such first few short years of my life formed me and my anger and guilt and the things i experienced after only confirmed my female bias by people i trusted. I was terrified of all the anger i had in my heart, and i was afraid to be like my father. That we might be similar. But that's an another story for later...

*****************

Tldr; My father and relatives were upset i was born female and beat me up as infant to preschool and my rich&working mom and the father beat up myself and went to court for attempting my murder before divorce and got uncharged because he had good reputation, which traumatized and guilted my mom, and traumatized the angry kid, that man is now lovebombing and begging me(while trashing my mother) to forgive him and some people are angry i ignore him and blame my mom for getting divorce and not enduring 🤧

******************

Now I don't want revenge, i just want a happy life and live to the fullest while achieving my dreams

I sincerely wish women would have a choice other than to feel their life is incomplete because they didnt find the right man. I want women to know the risks and be emotionally and structurally independent from men. Young or old or any social status we have a common danger from this male centric society and that is what we can focus on.

[whencallstheheart]

We’ll find out tonight if our predictions are correct! 

Responses to the written questions are under the cut.

Where is Ned and what is he doing?

No idea

Business trip

Dealing with some financial issues.

Doing business in UC or Hamilton. Nothing major

He stayed behind next episode and will be back in the finale.

I think planning something for Florence, maybe expansion for the mercantile?

I don't know

I have no idea, wth!?!?

Yo i have no idea. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say he's trying to contact Florence's daughter who wasnt there for the wedding

Maybe he's visiting his daughter? Or expanding the Mercantile somehow

With Mike. Oil pipeline

Hiding

It sure

I have no clue honestly, maybe planning a surprise for Florence?

Perhaps...expanding his store? Or ordering something new to begin to be shipped to his.

something related to factory

Sussing out suppliers

Maybe something to do with the Wyman guy?

visiting his daughter

Buying a new house or a surprise for Florence

Visiting Abigail

Planning something special for Florence

He is doing something with his daughter

No clue

With his daughter

Planning to expand the mercantile to include deliveries (Hope Valley Amazon) lol

Not sure

I really dont know!

Made out a Will since he now is married to Florence

Business in Union City

Business, but he’ll be back

I don’t Know

I dont know. This one threw me!

Literally have no idea

maybe he will come back with his daughter who will come to live at HP

some sweet surprise/gift for Florence

He is involved im some growth in HV.

Taking care of business.

He's making a business deal somewhere

I have no idea. I think it was a weird to put in o.O

Making purchases for the store.

Business stuff somewhere

I don't know

i don't know

ned things

He just took the long way home...

Adopting Flo's son

Hiding

He is picking up a surprise order gift for Florence, and it’s taking longer than expected.

Fighting attempt to take over mercantile

Talking to a divorce lawyer. Or putting a pillow over Abigail's mom's face so she can bury her already and come back to Hope Valley for his buddy Henry's sake.

Honestly I’m not sure but interested to find out!

Idk honestly. Probably actually doing something sweet for Florence but she doesn't know it.

What's up with the Pinkertons?

Not sure

A storyline to bring a change of pace to the show.

I really Don’t know

Not sure, but I don’t think it will be resolved this season, maybe it’s the cliffhanger?

I don't know

They’re hired thugs like they were in S1, just there to show Walden is a bad guy despite appearances

Factory related

Up to no good! Don’t trust them.

Yo i dont even know. They look totally sketch but they are probably the good guys actually. I'm predicting they are after someone who's been wanted for a long time. I think it may be too easy to link them with the guy who took Jesse and Clara's money

Not sure yet

Working for Waldon

Railroad

Sneakily buying land

I couldn't care less about them

Perhaps something is in the cabin/someone they don't want found.

No idea

Something to do with the mine disaster (even though it's been ages).

we will see in season 9

Setting up a good storyline for season 9

Not sure maybe something to do with the new factory that might be built

Maybe it has to do with Henry

I have no idea, but I do not like them!

No good

Buying all the land

They have Jesse. Someone wants to reopen the mine and seek revenge on Elizabeth for his son going to jail (Spurlock).

Looking for some kind of hidden good

Shady dealings going on

Guarding the future factory site. But something extra at the cabin connected with Spurlock.

Trouble

?

An even bigger I dont know on this one. Like, what in the world???

Holding Jesse captive

I think they kidnapped Jesse because he found out what they were up to but I have no idea what that is

stumped on this one

That is difficult. He is apparently connected to S1 Spurlock. Is he there for revenge? Or, just a heavy hand like his relative?

Revenge? They want to take over Hope Valley.

Something sketchy, probably bigger than just whatever is going on with the cabin though.

Land grab

No clue but they'll be one of the big bads next season

They are probably the goons of the Industry dude

They are working for somebody bigger.

They want to take over the town

I don't know

i'm worried about Nathan

idk they are the bad daddys of the season

they can only be there to cover up a crime, or some valuable find

No clue

They’re wanting to uproot Hope Valley for better business by destroying the town.

Keeping identity of mastermind safe from townspeople.

Maybe looking for Ned, who alternatively is a serial killer and now on the run. Possibly for the murder of Abigail's mother?

I’m so confused lol

Creating a monopoly & doing some villain nonsense (as it would seem the show is hinting).

Any other thoughts going into the finale?

No

There will be at least one surprise- not sure what

There are too many loose ends to tie up in one episode and I just want Elizabeth and Nathan together (and perhaps quickly married in this episode!)

I’m honestly really nervous, I’m rooting for Nathan but I have a feeling she’ll go for Lucas, I really don’t mind Lucas as a character but like what storylines can they do with them as a couple? The manuscript is finished, they’ve gone on every sort of date at this stage and she’s been in his office. What else can they do? With Nathan they can do the being scared because of his job again but making it different, there’s children involved now, it’s not just Elizabeth. Jack won’t understand but Allie will 100% feel worried for him. Also Allie having a mother figure, especially at this stage in her life, how could you not want it! The blended family as the main family would be so nice for this show, I know it’s been done before but they will be fairly front and centre in the show. Sorry for the rant, I love your blog so much! I don’t have tumblr so I can’t leave comments or like your gifs but I thoroughly enjoy all your theories and opinions!!

Just ready for this stupid love triangle to be over!

I’d love to actually see Henry meet up with Abigail, but doubt it. I hope they have Clara do something heroic for Jesse, but also doubt it. Henry will definitely be putting Hickam in charge at least temporarily. I think Ned will return but we won’t get a full explanation yet. And the dramatic ending won’t be the triangle choice, it’ll be Elizabeth losing the school.

Allie’s adoption finalized and reaction to Elizabeth choosing Nathan is something we should see.

Glad the triangle will be DONE!!

I hope that Elizabeth follows her heart and not pick someone who is a safe option.

I wish Faith were leaving instead of Carson. Also, I think there will be lots of set up for problems with the school board and Elizabeth. Also, I want more little Jack scenes but i don't think we'll get much since child acting laws and covid combined make that difficult

Excited for Elizabeth to move on from her past and enter a new adventure with either of the two men and really just everything else (Rosie and Lee, Fiona, Henry.)

I hope Faith doesn’t end up with whoever doesn’t get chosen by Elizabeth.

hopefully the finale will clear up the drawn out love triangle

The triangle was waaaaay drawn out. Be done and choose.

Nathan and Faith......would be great......

No matter who Elizabeth chooses I'm SOOOO READY to get this over with!

Kindness matters - no matter who she chooses. Isn't that why most of us watch the show

I am so over the love triangle and just want to know who Elizabeth picks.

Worried about the fandom more than anything

Elizabeth please pick Nathan

It's just a TV show and no matter what , it's there for our entertainment. I do think they're setting things up for the return of Abigail in some way.

The must be a Season 9!!!

I hope Fiona does not get involved with Mike.

Hopefully things get back to normal for Elizabeth and Rosemary

Interested to see the other storylines. I want Elizabeth to choose Nathan but I think JT will throw us off. From the promo pic, it looks like they will try to put Faith with Nathan.

- I just want Elizabeth to chose so that this storyline can come to an end and we can finally get to see her marriage and functioning has a wife. - Wonder what will become of Lucas once her choice is made. - I would like Lucas to have a proper storyline that doesn't involve Elizabeth or the love triangle. - I would love to see Rosemary and Lee finally become parents however that may happen. I feel like the writer just left them in limbo about it and keep teasing but never delivering on anything.

Hopefully will end with Nathan but the very last minute. I would prefer more romance before the finale

Elizabeth will have to decide on what’s important with school.

Jack might make an appearance in a dream scene?

So excited! I hope I don't wake up my kids while watching.

I hope they don’t pick Lucas

CLARA DISCOVERS SHE IS PREGNANT

?

Just excited for this to be over. I know we needed it and I think overall it was handled decent enough, but I'm glad to finally move on.

Why is everyone so scared?

The whole season has been about getting over your fear. Elizabeth doesn’t have to deal with her emotions or real life with Lucas because school is out for the summer and she is working on her book. She needs to make up with Rosemary and get over the loss of Jack and fear to be with Nathan.

this season has been totally not what I expected...I thought the hug at end of season 7 was definitive and we'd get at least some Nathan courtship, not a complete U-turn to Lucas (with hopefully a turn to Nathan at the very end). I now think Season 9 will be what I expected season 8 to be, and I am very much looking forward to that.

Something sudden will allow Elizabeth to bring her feelings to light for everyone...Nathan. I think she will have decided by the time she takes of the rings, but will not have the opportunity to share with the man until later. Until she faces the prospect of him being in danger again? Full circle from the end of S7.

I need Elizabeth to really apologize to Rosemary. Rosemary has always been there for Elizabeth.

I’m so afraid :(

Hated the triangle

I am so ready to finally move on from this triangle!

They put waaaay too many storyline in the last 2 episodes, they will never manage to conclude them all and we'll have another weird random cliffhanger which will not tie in with the Christmas episode (If we're getting one ?)

I hope the guy who loses, has a good life in later seasons

The annoying love triangle will finally end. Elizabeth/Nathan are endgame, unless Jack suddenly comes back from the dead. But, I doubt it. I hope Lee/Rosemary are pregnant, or decide to adopt children. I just want Lee/Rosemary to have children. Can't wait to see how this season ends. Hopefully, it won't be a cliffhanger.

Nervous as hell

Elizabeth and Nathan get married

i kinda hope someone dies tbh it would make everything more interesting

Elizabeth was so tiresome this season, they could have told her story of overcoming grief in a much more relatable way. Why did they not just have her talking to Rosemary about how sad or exhausted or numb or angry she feels all the time? You know, something a widow would actually go through. At the very least she could have been stoic, instead she was just kinda bitchy.

Faith and Nathan will have some sparks; Elizabeth will choose Lucas and they will kiss twice one being at bridge one being at her home inside with baby jack present.Carson will leave; Jessie will be found; Ned will come back safely.

Lucas endgame, Nathan and faith have sparks, Rosemary paper, Jessie and Clara make up.

I think Henry will take his own advice and leave to find Abigail to see if there is still any hope for them. Though I like his character, I want him to finally be happy, and if that means staying with Abigail, then that’s what it means. I don’t think TPTB will bring back Lori soooo.... that means Henry would be the one possibly leaving. I also think some scare will happen with Nathan between him and the Pinkertons. Then it may come full circle at the end where Elizabeth runs to him like she did last season, but instead of hugging him, she’ll kiss him instead.

Hallmark execs dictated ending and will cut salaries to bring back Abigail, hence Paul leaving.

My condolences to whichever guy gets to look forward to being bored by Elizabeth for the rest of his life. Are we sure Jack's death wasn't a suicide?

Ready to see how it ends and already looking forward to next season!

I will be really disappointed if she chooses Lucas but I’m afraid that’s where it’s headed. Either way I don’t understand how they’ll end in “the healthy place” they’ve said it will be with so much left for one episode.

[cowardtranslation]

Making LND Depressing for Everyone Else

In the original Phantom, Raoul is the loyal, loving, non-murderous choice for Christine, a true himbo, at least depending on the portrayal. But that's the version most fans like best!! He has his stupid moments, but he also has his endearingly adoring and caring moments. His character in the show is designed to love and be lovable.

During the events of LND, Raoul is imported from the original show a complete shadow of his former self. The man characterized by the pureness of his love for Christine is now an alcoholic, deep in gambling and drinking debt. He's been cut off financially from his family back in France and nearing being cut off physically by his close family due to his addictions overwhelming his life. His relationship with Christine and Gustave is rife with miscommunication and lack of communication altogether.

Please note that I'm not a psychiatrist by any means and I have no qualifications to diagnose (even if these are fictional characters), but in LND, Raoul is showing multiple signs of depression.

He's irritable. He's seemingly lost interest in music despite becoming a patron of an opera house, and feels as if he doesn't or can't love Christine. He's pessimistic about their situation, and hopeless that their situation can improve. And of course, he's taken up alcohol abuse and high risk gambling behavior to the point that he is in massive debt. But he's still Raoul. He wasn't changed enough to completely negate his character, he's just become depressed. He still shows signs that he loves Christine and Gustave, but just feels completely unworthy, or uncaring, of their love in return. At some points it seems like he doesn't even think Gustave likes him at all.

It's been canon-adjacent that Raoul knew Gustave was the Phantom's son, not his, further causing him to feel as though his relationship with Christine is a failure.

All of it begins to culminate in Act 2. After intermission, we see Raoul drinking heavily in a bar that, in the West End version at least, was located at Suicide Hall, literally named for being the place people go to step off the pier. The bartender remarks that Raoul looks to be in "a bad state," "worse than most that wind up here." Raoul has an entire number about how he's undeserving of Christine's love, how he feels like he's only dragging her down, and that he wishes to "leave the hurt behind."

Then the Phantom shows up. Erik brings up Raoul's inability to care for his family, no doubt only exacerbating his mental health. Then they get into the drunken bet. Raoul is heavily intoxicated and unstable. Despite his feelings of worthlessness, Raoul insists that Christine still loves him enough to trust him to get them out of this child kidnapper's grasp. And he still loves her, so much so that both he and the Phantom sing that Raoul is playing "for his life."

When the time comes for Raoul to attempt winning Christine over in her dressing room, he admits that he's been a terrible person due to his problems. He straight up says that he's been denying his family what they need, that there's something wrong with him. He says that his family needs the man he once was. That if he can get help, he can try to be that man again. If the Phantom removed the unbearable burden of debt, he might've actually been able to afford medical help to fulfill that promise(if any was available in the period). Of course there's the whole "why didn't he just tell her about the bet" thing but I blame biased writing for that.

She sings, and Raoul has lost her. It's an ultimate rejection and Christine doesn't even know it.

Back in the dressing room, Christine reads Raoul's note with legitimate concern. In the note, Raoul begs her forgiveness. He still refers to her as his wife, but never mentions divorce in the note, despite the fact that he "must go" away. It almost reads like a suicide note.

Raoul is not there when Christine is shot, but was apparently close enough to the pier that Gustave could retrieve him relatively quickly. Raoul was not there when she died, and just like that, he's lost her twice. The Phantom is implied to take Gustave, and if ALW gets his way, Raoul is likely left alone with Christine's body, his son not needing him, his family hating him, severe debts he cannot pay, and likely, terrible thoughts in his head. Remember that cuddly guy whose character was designed to love and be loved?

Raoul's character during LND is implied to be a drunken, snobby aristocrat. He's depressed. Webber tries to paint him as abusive. He writes him as depressed. The Phantom, who literally threatened to kidnap/kill her child, is now the good choice because Raoul can't get his shit together. He's depressed. And no one will just COMMUNICATE

This is a shitty ending, Webber. Fuck you

thanks for coming to my ted talk

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #458

“i was unprepared for fame, then everybody knew my name”

What does your doormat say? I... actually am not sure. I don't pay any attention. What do you order from most sit down restaurants? Chicken tenders are my go-to safe option, ha ha. Or shrimp. Who was the last person you talked about love/relationships with? Sara. I wanted her advice. Where was the last place you thought about having sex, other than your bed? This was way too long ago, dude. Do you remember the last time you went against someone’s advice? Very recently. :x What day would you consider the best day of your life? Why? Idk, really. Would you say you’re too experienced or too unexperienced for your age? I am embarrassingly unexperienced. What is your favorite neon color? Ever buy nail polish that color? Hot pink. I don't care for nail polish. Has anyone ever mistaken you to be a member of the opposite sex? No. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? Uhhhh... What was the last charity/cause you donated to? Children With Hair Loss, when I cut a shitload of my hair off for the style I have now. Getting that certificate that my hair was used is to this day one of the warmest feelings I've ever experienced. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara. What is something you know very little about? Economics. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. I lost Jason. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, three of my siblings (all have since gotten remarried and are very happy<3), and I'm sure more distant relatives, too. Does your family go ‘all out’ during the holidays? No. How often in a year do you go to the mall to get new clothes? Pretty much never. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? What was your reaction? Someone on Facebook when I updated my profile pic, probably. I was very flattered, of course. As someone with a SHIT self-image, it means a lot to me. Do you ever get paranoid about who your significant other hangs out with? I'm single, but hypothetically, nope. Did you ever call any teachers by their first name? Who? Some, but only because they preferred it. I don't remember all of them, other than it was common in college. Do you blow-dry, towel-dry or air-dry your hair? Towel-dry and best I can first, then let it air-dry. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? ... One of the reasons I chose to go to actual school instead of homeschooling when I started HS was because I liked the thought of making actual friends and maybe being a guitarist if any wanted to start bands lmao. What is your favorite flavor of gum? Watermelon, probs. Are you a good leader? lol no Would you ever go bear hunting? I'm strictly opposed to hunting for sport, but even if I wasn't, I would NOT be going after bears. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else’s garden without asking? Wow, no. Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle? No. Who is your favorite philosopher? I don't have one. What restaurant would you choose to go to for breakfast? I'm a v basic bitch and love me some Waffle House lmfao. How much money do you think you cost your parents? I. Don't. Want. To. Know. With so much medical stuff... holy shit. Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving? I eat spiral ham, because I don't like turkey in that form. Does your cat give you kitty kisses? Yes. :') Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Close, no. My mom was a close call, though... Her cancer was very, very close to being stage 4. Have you ever been to a waterpark? Yeah, as a kiddo. Describe the person you like/love in one word: Hilarious. Do you enjoy creative writing? Hell yeah man. If so, what things do you like writing about the most? Meerkats in a fantasy setting. Do you own any windchimes? Yes. Mom has one, I believe. Have you ever been known for something extremely negative? No. Would you say you’ve made a lot of people proud? Hell no. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone for over a year? Twice. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? I think I've made that abundantly obvious in the past few surveys lmao. Does your birth name mean anything in another language or sense? It just means "of Britain." I wish my name had better meaning, lol. What is your favorite desert? THE KALAHARI because MEERKATS!!!!!!!!!!! :') Have you ever been called a good kisser? Well not directly, but no one's ever complained? Have you ever stepped on a bee? No. Who is your newest friend? Hmmm... I haven't made a new friend in a very long time. Tell me something about yourself that you don’t normally tell people. I'm an RPer. The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? That I wish I was NEARLY as hot as her lmao. What do you like about your birthday? We go out to eat wherever I want, yum. The person you’re thinking about - what are you thinking about them? That he needs to mESSAGE ME BACK Are you currently sick at all? No. Has anyone ever asked for your autograph? Er, no. What’s one subject that makes you feel uncomfortable? Sex. Who did you last send a friend request to? Idk. What candy makes your face pucker? None that I've tried. I handle sour treats very well. Do you believe that the number 13 is unlucky? No. Do you know any marines? Jason's dad was one. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. :') Do you know anyone who does a lot of pills? I guess me, but they're prescription pills, and I don't abuse them. Mom has a lot, too. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this rapper? Eminem. Either "Love the Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? No. Have you ever had the cops called on you? For what? Nope. What race do you see the most in your neighborhood? African American. Have you ever walked in on someone accidentally while they were nude? No, I don't think so. Have you ever wanted to get your monroe pierced? Nah, it'd look weird on me. Do you own anything that involves Betty Boop? Nope. Can you remember the last song you listened to? Yeah; I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of Linkin Park's "Bleed It Out" right now. What is your favourite flavour of Skittles? The sour ones!! Red was always my favorite. Who taught you how to ride a bike? My dad. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Girt. Jason is a very close second, but Girt... he saw me at rock fucking bottom. He just showed up at the hospital unannounced after my suicide attempt (he knew because yay for writing a stupid fucking suicide note on Facebook) to help comfort me. He saw me dead to the fucking world and just done with everything. When’s the last time you were on the phone after 2 AM? Wow... probably not since a few days before the aforementioned suicide attempt and I called Jason's landline, desperate to talk to him. His mom picked up and talked to me for like two whole fucking hours. I'm tearing up pretty bad just remembering it, seeing as she's dead now... She cared for me so much. I miss her so, so much. Enough of this question, I'm about to start sobbing. :x What would you do if your best friend got an abortion? Honestly? Be relieved. I really don't think her body could handle pregnancy. What would you do if your father left your mother? That happened, and I hated him for years. What would you do if your bf/gf’s face became mutilated in an accident? Love them all the same. I don't care about appearances. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen in your life? *shrug* Have you ever dated two different people with the same name? No. That would be so weird. What are you deathly afraid of? Pregnancy. Internal parasites. Which unborn babies technically are. Do you know anyone who’s addicted to drugs and, if so, are you friends with them? I know many potheads, and one I'm pretty close with. Have you ever owned a golf cart before and, if so, what color was it? No. Do you have a sibling who’s a complete deadbeat and, if so, which sibling is it? Definitely not. All my siblings are hard workers that have dreams and aspirations they're either working towards or have achieved. Do you own the new Guitar Hero and, if so, what’s your favorite song on it? I have no clue what the newest one is. My favorite song to play in any of the games though is The Eagles' "Hotel California." It just feels good to play, and the ending solo fuckin' slams. Have you ever done anything dangerous enough to have risked your life? An overdose on cold medicine. What was the most length you’ve ever cut off your hair and why did you cut it? 8+ inches because I no longer wanted long hair. Have you ever overcome a disease that was life-threatening and, if so, which one? No.

[k-writer1998]

Who Said Love Was Easy? (11/12)

      There are many different kinds of people who come and go from your life. Some will stay constant and sturdy like a river, growing alongside you, others will come like a whirlwind who wreaks havoc and leaves just as quickly, then there is everything in between. In this twisted maze of connections, that is where our story begins. A steadfast boy, a girl with a past, a little bit of alcohol, mistakes, and some love. Where can you go wrong with that?

angsty fluff

w.c: 1.7k

tw: mentions/ allusion to abuse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeongin's POV

      What just… my mind was reeling at everything going on as I stared down at the folder in my hand. When did I get it back? How- No, shake it off I have to attend a meeting when I get back. But y/n, she- Stop, gotta get back now…

      Safe to say everything blurred by after that. I didn’t even really realize I was home until I heard the door slam behind me before I was greeted with silence yet again. I collapsed on the couch with a sigh as I covered my eyes. Although I was tired and just wished to sleep, instead my mind played back today’s incident. This wasn’t the first time we’ve argued but this was different, it was the full force of our frustrations and anger. Then there was the fear… the flinch playing back in my mind on an endless loop. After seeing her brother do that then everything at the dinner, I should’ve known but I never thought- don’t make excuses for yourself… What am I even doing right now, arguing with myself?

      A couple days passed and it felt like I was woken from a haze. There were certain aspects of this job I liked but a lot was just something I didn’t want to do. I knew this from the beginning but why has it been so much more prominent in my mind now? Then there was the topic of Gahyeon. For as long as I’ve had my feelings for her, she equaled my happiness. I’ve always wanted to have that smile so filled with love turned to me but when I started to notice it faced someone else, I started to panic. Was it because I was losing her or was it because I was losing what I considered to be my happiness? My head was a mess but thankfully Seungmin invited me over for dinner today and maybe it could take a break before my brain fried itself. Seungmin noticed my worries as I was pulled from my thoughts by him knocking on the table. 

“If you keep staring at the fire like that it’ll end up eating you. What’s on your mind?”

“Hyung…” I explained the whole argument, leaving out the part involving buying the building, to Seungmin who silently nodded along. A few beats of silence passed when I finished before he spoke. 

“This was probably inevitable considering both of you are stubborn but it did escalate further than needed. After having a few days to think about it, do you have some regrets?”

“I mean yeah but the more I think about it the more confused I get. Maybe hearing an outside view would help? I don’t know. I mean my brain can’t burn out more than it already has right?”

“It’s okay using your brain was never your strong suit.”

“Yah hyung!”

“But anyways,” he ignored, “since you’ve been at the company have you been happy? In general or with yourself?”

“Not really…”

“Well when was the last time you were?”

“When I was working at the pub.”

“Why?”

“Everyone treated me as an equal.”

“And?”

“And everyone one was really nice.”

“And?”

“And what else?! Seungmin-hyung, get to the point.”

“Really not your strong point,” He sighs as he continued, “you were happy there because they treated you like family. Something you haven’t felt since the divorce I may add.”

“Ouch…” That one stung. 

“Hey, don’t make me look like the bad guy. We’ve gone over the whole “family” issue enough through our friendship that I can at least say that much. Now the subject of Gahyeon, as your best friend I think whatever thing you had for Gahyeon died.”

      I wanted to argue but I can’t wholeheartedly deny that fact. I’ve felt the doubt in regards to my feelings swimming in my mind since before the argument but I’ve lived like that for so long I didn’t know how to stop myself. I groaned. 

“Am I an idiot?”

“In this situation and in general… yeah. I’m sure you didn’t notice but when I asked why the pub made you happy, you didn’t mention Gahyeon.”

      At the realization I ruffled my hair in frustration. He’s right yet again. Why did I think talking with Seungmin would make me feel better? Our friendship was built off tough love. Now the only thing he hasn’t jabbed at me for was y/n… All I ever do is accuse her whenever we disagree, like a child throwing a tantrum. I’ve only been thinking about myself this whole time and ignored her feelings, like an ass. Before my brain could spiral down to the flinch once again, Seungmin snapped me out of it once again.

“So are we gonna talk about the biggest fault or are you gonna pretend you don’t see that too?”

“I know I shouldn’t have accused her like that… or entered her space so suddenly. I was selfish and hated the thought of losing the argument.”

“At least you know why you were wrong, one less lecture on my part.”

“Wow, whose best friend are you?” I rolled my eyes.

“Yours, that’s why I’ll call you out when you need to be. Y/n never took advantage of your weak moments when something happened with Gahyeon and I’ll tell you this, whenever we talk about you it’s because she’s worried.”

“Thanks… you’re really helping me feel better.”

“Tone down the sarcasm and maybe I’ll help you fix things.”

      We continued to talk over the grilled meat and by the time I came home, I knew what I had to do. The first being to find out explicitly what happened in y/n’s past while I try to fix the biggest mistake. After a few days I met Jaehyung in a café, might as well start where I first heard it right? We caught up a bit with him complaining I needed to come by more often before I brought it up.

“Hyung I don’t mean to be nosey but what happened last year that made you so worried about y/n on her birthday?”

“Ah! Did something happen when you went to dinner with her?!” 

“Nothing like last time,” I quickly reassured before clarifying, “they were just very… condescending to say the least.”

“Sorry, I worry about y/n cause she’ll never say anything if something happens,” he apologized as the tension that shot to his shoulders left just as quickly.

“Yeah she does, that’s why I ended up coming to you.”

“She wouldn’t like me talking about it but it’s because you guys are so close and you practically know already that I’ll tell you.”

      Although he said that as a compliment I felt it jab at me. No, we’ve been over this. Hating yourself won’t fix anything and we have a plan so let’s just stick to it. 

“Thanks hyung.”

“Other than the incident from last year, a lot of it is speculation on my part. I was only given the bare minimum because I saw it happen so I don’t have much.”

      Y/n has been a bit skittish lately for some reason. I know it’s around her birthday but she never acted like this, although it wasn’t really her favorite day either. She has been ignoring someone it seems though. There are times at the pub where her phone rings and her nose scrunches in distaste before she rejects the call or deletes the text. I’ve heard hushed arguments pass through our relatively thin walls but I can never really catch what was going on. That girl really worries me, she doesn’t let anyone in and hides behind snarky comments and sarcasm. I grabbed her some cake on the way home, hopefully she’ll feel a bit better. Exiting the elevator, groceries in hand, I was surprised to spot unfamiliar people leaving y/n’s apartment since she only has a small circle of friends that hasn’t changed much since I’ve known her. Judging by the older woman and two others who look like her, were they y/n’s family? Before I could call out to y/n, my voice caught in my throat at what happened at that moment and my body froze. The older woman grabbed a fist full of y/n’s hair, forcing her to face her, and that was when I noticed the other marks along her face and arms. In that instance our eyes connected and her eyes widened in fear as she shook her head ever so slightly. The woman noticed the motion and cocked her head. Y/n didn’t want me seen so before the woman turned to look I turned the corner and pressed myself against the wall. As I heard their footsteps approach me I quickly pushed the elevator button to make it seem like I just got off. I breezed by them with my head down and practically threw my groceries in my house before ringing y/n’s bell. Silence. With a sigh I entered her code and stormed in. There she was, sitting on the floor of her living room. It was the first time she ever looked so weak, even flinching as the door closed.

“You know how she is. Y/n doesn’t like to show her weakness to others and rarely does she cry in front of someone. That day she cried her eyes out and stopped putting up her act for once.”

“So they really…”

“Mhmm. Can’t say for how long but it was enough. Probably had it worse too, seeming as though the cut on her lip, nail marks on her arms, and the bruises didn’t phase her all that much.”

“Sorry hyung, it must be unpleasant to bring it up again but thank you for telling me.”

      There was a lot to process with that and a lot of things were starting to connect clearly now. God, I suck. I can’t ask her to forgive me but maybe at least with what I have planned she can hate me a little less? I’m not sure what I’m trying to accomplish with this but I do know I don’t want to lose y/n as a friend.

[teddy-stonehill]

The Warmonger Duchess and Her Female Husband

I feel like that rushed explanation and brief snippet I posted didn’t really do this concept justice, so here’s a better organized explanation of all the development I’ve done on the idea. 

This is a story in the style of women’s fantasy romance webtoons. Current popular tropes in that space include things like reincarnation and contract marriages. Most of the stories being told in this style are straight romances, so I wanted to come up with a concept for a gay version of one of these stories that fully utilized all the fun tropes.

Here we go:

Pictured: Lady Tamsin Gwedric and Duchess Alesia Jordaine, designed using this Picrew.

The Warmonger Duchess’s Female Husband

In the Kingdom of Ferim, powerful and largely self-sufficient duchies often go to war with each other, frequently changing hands from one generation to the next. As long as the attacking duchy has a legally acceptable excuse to delcare war, the king himself rarely interferes.

Lady Tamsin was born as the only daughter of the Gwedric Duchy, an increasingly small and weak duchy ripe to be conquered by one of its powerful neighbors.

Luckily, Tamsin’s parents found a way to save their people from the devastation of war: An arranged marriage between Tamsin’s older rother, Roger, and Duchess Alesia Jordaine, which would unite their duchies without bloodshed.

Unluckily, Roger died in a horse riding accident mere weeks before the wedding.

In a political marriage, when one partner dies before the wedding, that partner’s family is required to produce an acceptable replacement, usually a younger brother. But the Gwedric family had no younger brothers, and the closer male relative of the right age was a third cousin, an unacceptably distant substitute. 

Even with no other options available to them, the broken engagement was still legally the fault of the Gwedric family. And as such, the ambitious and ruthless Duchess Jordaine had just the excuse she needed to declare war.

A year later, Lady Tamsin, her home overrun by enemy forces, faced death on the sword of Duchess Jordain herself.

Bracing for the final blow, Lady Tamsin cursed her bad luck, her own timidity, and her family’s willingness to just give up to their fate. If only she could go back in time, she wouldn’t just sit back and let things happen again. She would struggle and fight and find a way to save them all.

Unexpectedly, just as she felt the blade pierce her heart, Lady Tamsin woke up in bed.

It was the day after her brother’s death.

This time things would be different.

Immediately throwing herself into every book on marriage law she could get her hands on, Lady Tamsin finally came across a solution in the form of a technicality with an unexpected precedent:

In the case of an unexpected death before a wedding, the substitute for the fiance legally takes on the identity of the original fiance. In this way, a same-sex marriage was possible because the actual identity of the substitute doesn’t matter--the only thing that matters is how closely blood related the substitute is to the original.

So Lady Tamsin cut her hair and donned her dead brother’s clothes and set off for the Jordaine Duchy with a pile of papers to act as her proof.

To save herself and her people, Lady Tamsin was determined to become the legal husband of the Duchess.

After a long discussion, the Duchess agrees to the marriage with these conditions:

They must stay married for 3 years, the amount of time legally required for Duchess Jordaine to fully assume control of the Gwedric Duchy

After 3 years, they will amicably divorce, and Duchess Jordaine will see to it that Lady Tamsin and her family can live comfortably for the rest of their lives.

During the duration of their marriage, they must strictly follow all of the rules and social conventions for spouses amongst the high nobility so that no one can question the validity of their marriage: Including sharing a bed at least once a week.

During the course of their marriage, Duchess Jordaine, who’s always been a tough loner who everyone is scared of, begins to take a genuine interest in her new husband. Lady Tamsin, for her part, has taken a genuine interest in the law and continues to study it further, eventually just straight-up taking the Ferim Kingdom’s bar exam and becoming a lawyer.

Lady Tamsin also uses her new knowledge of the law to discover legal loopholes that will allow her wife Duchess Jordaine to take over even more territory without bloodshed.

Sample scene:

Tamsin timidly poked her head into the room, clutching the stack of papers to her chest.

The mood around the council table was obviously tense. Sir Marigold, the war minister, pounded his fist on the table.

“Count Ziven is growing bolder by the day!” he shouted. “If we don’t move soon, he’s likely to invade us before we get the chance to do the same to him.”

“We’ve already been too aggressive in recent years,” said Baron Griffin, the steward. “Unless we have a strong legal case for invasion, I fear King Vrowen won’t just stand by and watch.”

The Duchess was watching the proceedings with an air of boredom, slouched down in her chair with her head resting on her hand.

When she made eye contact with Tamsin, who was watching her, she actually perked up slightly. The corners of her mouth even twitched up in a smile, although it was gone as soon as it arrived.

The Duchess held her hand out to beckon Tamsin further into the room.

“It seems my husband has arrived, perhaps with the very legal excuse we need,” she said. “Well, Tammy, have you found a valid reason for us to invade the Count’s lands?”

As Tamsin walked past the table she could feel the glares of the council on her back, but she cleared her throat and steeled her nerve. “I found something even better,” she said, handing the Duchess as tack of worn papers.

While the Duchess looked over the papers, Tamsin explained. “Several generations ago, your great great grandfather gave rather a large loan to the Count’s great grandfather. There’s no record of it ever having been paid back, and in fact it seems it was forgotten altogether. And look at what the collateral on the loan was.” Tamsin leaned down to point at a line on the bottom of the paper.

The Duchess whistled. 

Baron Griffin clearly picked up on what was going on. “Couldn’t the Count merely pay back the original amount of the loan?”

“I made some calculations,” said Tamsin. “Given the interest rate, the amount of time that has passed, and fees for missed payments, not even the King himself could afford to pay off this loan.”

“My husband is very intelligent,” said the Duchess. “With this, we’ll be able to seize the Count’s lands without bothering with an invasion.”

Tamsin blushed. “I wish you would stop referring to me that way,” she said quietly, glancing at the council.

“Why should I?” asked the Duchess. “It’s what you are, and who wouldn’t be proud of having such a brilliant spouse?”

“Of the two of you, you seem more like the husband type, Duchess,” said Sir Marigold, laughing.

Everyone else at the table stared at him in horror, wondering if he had a death wish.

The Duchess slipped one arm around Tamsin’s waist and pulled her closer. “I’ll admit I never particularly liked the idea of being a wife, but I accepted it as a necessary evil I would have to put up with.” The Duchess looked up at Tamsin, a wry smile on her face. “But I have to admit I’ve grown to quite enjoy being Tammy’s wife.”

Normally Tamsin had to look up at the Duchess, but with the Duchess sitting down like that and her standing, Tamsin was actually looking down at her for once. The look in the Duchess’s eyes made Tamsin blush even more furiously and break out of the Duchess’s hold.

“Well, look over the documents at your leisure. If you need me further I’ll be in the library.”

Tamsin rushed out.

The Duchess was still staring after  her, even after she’d disappeared from view. “My husband is very cute,” she said.

Baron Griffin cleared his throat. “As you say, your grace.”

 Out in the hallway, Tamsin was trying to catch her breath.

Three years was starting to feel like it would be a very long time indeed. She wasn’t sure her heart would be able to take it. 

[notquitecanon]

Christmas Vacation // Spencer Reid x Reader

a little blurb about the reality of big family Christmas that was heavily inspired by National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. 

TW: drug mention

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

____________

You pressed your back against the bedroom door, closing your eyes and taking a calming breath as you prayed to anything out there that your mother would give it a rest. Leaning against the door, you savored the few moments of relative quiet (you could still hear the loud political discussion your uncles were having- both extreme conservatives with all their facts from facebook, your mother and siblings in the kitchen gossiping, and your younger cousins loudly playing edgy music to cover up the Christmas music from downstairs.) You were really beginning to regret coming home for “big, old fashioned, family Christmas”.

“You’re hiding to you?” You heard a familiar voice ask, startling you. Yelping a bit, your eyes shot open to find your boyfriend, Dr. Spencer Reid lurking in your childhood bedroom by your bookcase. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

You smiled, crossing the room and collapsing on your old twin sized mattress that you two were sharing for the weekend. The good doctor copied you, flopping down beside you as you sighed, “Yep. My grandmother is convinced that I’m pregnant, and won’t stop giving me advice on a shotgun wedding.”

“W-wait... are..?” Spencer stuttered, leaning upon his elbow to gape at you. Chuckling, you shook your head no, watching his sigh of relief. You were certain you wanted to spend your life with him- but children weren’t on the schedule just yet. 

“Why are you hiding?” You asked, lacing your fingers through his. He squeezed your hand. 

“The Christmas sweater your great-aunt knitted was giving me a heat rash. And your uncle was asking me how much information the FBI had on him- and was asking me to delete it.” He admitted, smiling as he watched you laugh. 

“And a very Merry Christmas from the (Y/L/N) family.” You joked, sitting up. “I’m sorry I dragged you out here for this.”

Spencer followed your movements, “No! I wanted to come. This is your family, this is you! Besides, I very excited for your Aunt’s banana pineapple surprise that seemed to be defying gravity.”

“We’re going to need a vacation from this vacation.” You complained, ignoring his joke about the disgusting casserole waiting downstairs, leaning in so your head tucked onto his shoulder. He chuckled, kissing the top of your head. 

“Besides, tomorrow we fly out to see my mom. So we’ll have a little more alone time.” He promised, rubbing your back. You smiled, pulling back so Spencer could see the mischevious glint in your eyes before getting up and locking the door. 

“Alone time sounds perfect right now.” You winked, crawling back onto the twin bed, it was so small that it didn’t take much effort to be on top of him. He was nodding, already a blushing mess as you leaned down to kiss him. Just as your lips brushed his, something beat against your window. 

“You two better not be making grandkids in there! I’m too young to be a grandfather!” 

In horror, you looked up to see your dad perched on a ladder, a string of Christmas lights in hand. Now your cheeks matched Spence’s (who looked like he wanted to wither away in embarrassment), as you stumbled off your boyfriend. 

“Dad! I’m a grown woman! Besides what are you doing out there!” You hissed, Spencer quickly getting off your bed as well to fix his clothes, and slip the sweltering Christmas sweater on- effectively killing any mood that hadn’t already been killed by your father. 

“Dave across the road put up those reindeer. I will not be outdone by a man who doesn’t even own a leaf blower.” He vowed, shimmying down the latter the angrily staple Christmas lights. You shook your head and threw another hopeless look at your boyfriend, who was already sweating in his knitted apparel. With a forced smile, you tried to be optimistic.

“Well, we haven’t set anything on fire yet, so this is still a success.” 

Later that night, after the tree had been completely put out (it had been a rather unfortunate situation involving hairspray and a cigarette), at Christmas dinner, it was you who wanted to crawl into a hole and die. 

Your father has just cut into a turkey that looked drier than the Sahara, your aunt was a bottle of wine in and scooping a generous helping of Banana Pineapple Surprise onto Spencer’s plate, your mother was quietly scolding you about the neckline of your shirt, and your uncles were complaining about the players that had kneeled at the Superbowl. You had a tight hold on Spencer’s hand under the table, hoping that he would be your lifeline to sanity as your cousin’s rambled in. 

The group of teenagers smelled heavily of pot as they slumped into their chair, all chuckling about something. You decided to ignore this, as you felt you needed some sort of drink or drug to get through the night as well. When your great aunt blessed the food with a startling rendition of God Save the Queen, you thought that would be the worst of it. 

You were wrong. 

So much was happening at once. Your uncles had moved onto to “the gender crisis” and “the war on Christmas”. Your mother was complaining about you not spending Christmas day with them. The weed-ridden cousins were laughing at a video on one of their phones while your drunk aunt loudly announced the latest in her divorce lawsuit. It was when your grandmother asked Spencer about his virility that you decided to put an end to it. 

“Alright, that’s enough!” You began loudly, drawing everyone’s attention, “Uncle Mike, Uncle Hank- stop talking politics until you actually start watching the news. Aunt Tanya, your husband was cheating on you- get a better lawyer. Mom, we already have plane tickets and we’re going to go see Spencer’s mother tomorrow, end of discussion. Grandma, I love you, but I’m not pregnant and don’t plan to be a long time.” You paused before pointing to the teenagers who were wide-eyed at your display (one of them was holding up a camera and you swore if you saw your mental breakdown on tik tok you’d kill one of them), “And you three! Are you serious? Could you not wait for the ACTUAL FBI AGENT to leave before you went out and rolled a blunt? For the love of God and Christmas, can we act like we’ve got some sense in this household? I’d rather my family not scare off my boyfriend.” 

You paused to take a breath and a sip of the wine by your plate, “Hallelujah, Holy Shit!” 

Already leaving your place at the table, you pinched the bridge of your nose, “Where’s the Tylenol?” 

As you left the dining room you could hear their murmurs, and you already felt guilty for unloading all of that- but also fairly relieved. After a quick breather in your bathroom (and two Tylenol swallowed), you decided it was time to rejoin your family. Knowing them, they’ll probably act like nothing even happened. You thought as you shook your head, Poor Spence, I left him down there to fend for himself. 

To your surprise, Spencer was just outside the bathroom door hand held up like he was just about to knock and your glass of wine in the other, “Hey, sweetheart, you ok?”

You suppressed a laugh, he only called you pet names when he thought you were really upset. You leaned up and kissed his cheek, “I’m fine. Really. It’s not Christmas if at least one family member has a come apart at the table.”

He sighed in relief, “It was pretty awkward for a second. Then your cousins all gave me ridiculous excuses about the pot smell. And then it was back to normal.”

“Sounds about right, but we still haven’t had to call an emergency service yet, so I’m still counting it as a win. My crazy family hasn’t scared you off yet, has it?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his waist after gratefully taking the red wine out of his hand. Feeling his head shake as his arms wrapped around you, you listened to his words as they vibrated his chest. 

“I spent Christmas with Derek and his family one year, and in the same year spent New Years with Garcia. Your family doesn’t even top my list.” Spencer assured you, “Also did you know that emergency calls spike by 47% in the period between December 23 and Jan 2- within that 47%, 1/2 are alcohol-related, 1/4 are house fires caused by holiday decorations, and 1/4 are domestic disputes between family members.”

You laughed aloud that time, it’s not a Spencer Reid Christmas without some random inane fact. You thought as you looked up to him. “Maybe we won’t be in that 47% this ye-”

You were interrupted by a sharp scream, a lot of yelling, and the easily identified voice of your aunt screaming, “Quick, someone call 911!”

“And nevermind.” You sighed, already moving to run downstairs, but pausing at the doorway, “Hey, Spence...”

He was right behind you, staring at you quizzically as the noise of chaos floated up from downstairs. Your family was hectic, but you wouldn’t have it any other way- and Spencer was in the middle of it all, taking it in stride. 

“Merry Christmas, I love you.”

__________________

This is bad but honestly, this is how 90% of my holiday goes. I wish Spencer was around to witness the chaos. 

[purplesurveys]

1165

survey by xxbieberburnham

A - Accidents

Have you ever been in a car accident? Very minor ones that only caused small dents, and nothing that wrecked either car or put someone in the hospital entirely.

Do you have a lot of scars? I have some, not a lot.

Have you been in a fist fight with someone? Nope.

Have you ever seriously hurt someone by accident? I remember striking my ex in the face accidentally while we were horsing around. She was wearing glasses at the time so she ended up getting a cut in the area in between her eyes.

Have you ever had stitches? No and like I always say, I hope I’ll never need to get them.

B - Beauty

Would consider yourself beautiful? Not beautiful, but I will feel pretty on some days. Not always, though.

Are you self consicous of how you look? These days not so much, because I don’t even get to go out in the first place and there’s been little need to fix myself up most days unless I’ll get on a video call for work. I don’t get self-conscious around my family either.

Do you wear a lot of make up? I never wear makeup.

Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Nope. I considered having my breasts done when I was a teenager, but the thought literally never crosses my mind anymore.

What do you think makes a person beautiful? Physically, I think it differs per person. More than that, it’s the things they do when no one is looking.

C - Consequences

What is the longest you've been grounded for? Maybe around a year? Due to issues at home and, honestly, poor parental skills on my mom’s end, I ended up being a rebellious problem child and wasn’t the easiest to temper or raise.

What would you do if you became pregnant? Keep it and try to seek support from family and friends.

Do you ever think about how your actions affect people? Always a people pleaser, y’all. Of course I do.

What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? I guess anything that involves taking away basic essentials, like cutting off access to food and water.

What is one thing you wish you didn't do because it wasn't worth it? Stayed in a relationship that I knew was going to end at some point. She always made it clear she’d end it one day and I was just too afraid of confrontation to face it sooner (and too stubborn to handle the truth).

D - Dealing

When you're mad at someone how do you show it? Cold shoulder.

Name a time when you had to be strong. The week of my grandfather’s death, wake, and cremation was on the same week of my entrance examinations for several universities, including the two toughest ones. I had already been in the headspace to just focus on the exams and shut out everything else for the meantime then the death happened, so my life turned into a rollercoaster of emotions quickly. I ended up entertaining relatives and fervently going through my review modules at the wake.  

Have you ever dealt with divorce? Well I’ve never been married and I also live in a country where divorce is illegal, so no.

When people don't accept you, how do you react? It will definitely affect my self-esteem to an extent. I imagine being bothered by it.

Have you ever lost someone to death? Yes. Just yesterday I found out one of grand uncles did from Covid. We are very close with that side of the family, so I am still in shock and have yet to process it.

F - Family

Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to? I barely talk to one of my uncles and only do so when we greet each other at family gatherings. Still, I haven’t looked him in the eye for years now.

If you had to choose: friends or family? Probably my friends.

Do you have any siblings? Yes.

How often do you spend quality time with your family? Pretty regularly now with Covid still on the loose. We have dinner together every night, then after that we usually hang out in the living room doing our own thing. Also breakfast on weekends.

G - Growing

How tall are you? Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I’m around 5′1″. I’m fine with this height.

Do you think you've grown up in the past year? So much. I think my surveys show that too.

Do you think you're mature for your age or still childish? I want to say I’ve matured in some ways, but I don’t think I’m fully there yet. For one, I’m still scared to learn how to cook lol and I can’t even light up a match.

Are you scared to think that one day you'll turn 30, then 40 & 50? Sometimes I’ll get in those moods because it makes me realize how fast life is and how quickly people turn old. But I hate getting stressed and mulling over things I can’t control, so I also immediately return to the present and just enjoy where I am now.

Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? I’m barely in my mid-20s, so I know that for a fact.

H - Hope

Love - real or not? I want to say it’s still real. Some people just get lucky early, I guess.

Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Realist.

Do you believe in fate or that everything happens for a reason? I believe whatever things that happen are consequences of, or are at least linked to, what’s happened in the past – wherever that falls under.

Do you believe that after we die, your spirit is still alive? I don’t believe in spirits, so no.

What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? My next paycheck. Hahahaha

I - Idols

Who is your idol? I don’t have any.

What makes this person an idol to you?

Has this person done anything good to help other people?

Does this person have good style?

What does this person do for a living?

J - Jokes

Tell me an inside joke between you and your friends. “Packs a punch” is one of mine and Angela’s long-standing inside jokes. I think I’ve shared this story before, but basically in one lunch break in high school I was tasting this juice that one of our friends brought; I remarked that it “packs a punch” which no 16 year old Filipino student uses in a casual setting, so it quickly became a hit in our circle and now Angela brings it back semi-regularly to tease me.

Are you usually the person to make people laugh or the other way around? It’s mostly the other way around but occasionally I’ll be able to blurt out a joke that ends up working well.

Do you cry when you laugh hard? Haha yes. That’s the best kind of laugh.

Do you get in trouble for laughing or talking in class? Almost never. I hated causing trouble, and if I was ever called out in class it was always a classmate talking to me that I was just too shy to ask to keep quiet.

Are you good at making jokes? Depends on the person. I hold back if necessary.

K - Knowledge

The prupose of school: learn, hang with friends or cause trouble? Learn and gain new experiences, then gain friends.

Do people refer to you as dumb, smart or average? I dunno, you’ll have to ask them.

What kind of grades do you usually get? I mostly bummed around in high school just because I didn’t think grades from that early on in life wouldn’t matter in the long run, but I still did well enough to pass all my classes. I exerted a lot more effort in college since that’s when educational backgrounds start to matter, and got even better results from there.

What is your favorite subject to learn or talk about? History.

L - Love

Are you currently in love? Nope.

Do people around you show a lot of love? The people in my life who’ve chosen to stay, yes.

Is love worth it? Not always, but yes, mostly.

Do you hate it when people say "I love you" & they've been dating for a day? It might confuse me a bit since I personally don’t take that phrase lightly; but I wouldn’t be one to judge.

Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone or is it just a word? Like I said, it takes a lot for me to be able to say it. The two times I dated my ex she was always the one who ended up saying it first.

M - Money

Do you believe money makes the world go round? Yes, and that it can buy happiness.

How much money do you have on you now? I’ve been using paper money less and less frequently now, actually. I’m all cashless these days, so my wallet is literally all out of bills and the coins there are probably just piled-up centavos I’ll never use.

Are you saving up for anything? My birthday treat. I already somewhat failed lolol - I got BTS coffees, Ivy Park shoes, and four boxes of wings just this week, but I told myself I am no longer touching my bank account until it’s time to pre-order food for my birthday.

Would you rather win 1 million dollars or find true love? Give me the million dollars. 50 million pesos would last me like ten lifetimes.

On a scale 1-10, how important is money to you? 10.

N - Nothing to lose

Would you ever go on a game show? If it’s a game show I enjoy watching, like Jeopardy or Family Feud. I might not be interested  if it’s anything else I’m not too familiar with.

Do you play the lottery? Never.

Ever been to Las Vegas? Nope.

Have you ever made a bet and then lost? Nah, I don’t really make real bets; I just use the saying with my friends but we never follow through with real money.

Do you give your all in a relationship? To a fault.

O - Openess

How long does it take you to open up with someone? It depends on how long it takes for me to be comfortable with them...some people can seem standoffish, so I’d be wary about opening up about my life to them out of shyness and uncertainty if they’d be down for such a conversation. Then others can be rays of sunshine who are very easy to talk to.

What does it take for you to fully trust someone? If they’ve proven to be reliable in crises. I’ve always said I’m more of a follower than a leader, so if I see that someone’s capable of handling any sort of issue that I can’t find a way out of, I will find it a lot easier to start trusting them.

Do you trust people too easily? Probably.

Are you comfortable with everyone? Definitely not. I like keeping my circle small.

Do you tell your parents and friends everything? Just my friends.

P - Positive

Is your outlook on life positive or negative? I like to keep it positive but still grounded to reality at the end of the day. I don’t wanna drag myself down with my mindset, but I also don’t want to give myself exuberantly high expectations.

Have you ever had a moment with someone & it didn't end positively? I’ve had very few negative one-off experiences with some strangers, but yes, they’ve happened.

Do you agree with: best to have loved than never loved at all? As negative as my experience turned out to be, I still think it’s better to experience love. I grew up in a lot of ways and also learned new things about myself because I loved.

Do you see most things as negative or positive? Idk, depends on how they realistically look like.

Has anything bad happened but something good came from it? Yes.

Q - Questions

When faced with a problem, do you solve it on your own or ask for help? Ask for help.

Do you like to take quizzes? Maybe not quizzes but surveys.

If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? When he plans to stop being a disgusting misogynist pig. And also if he has an actual Covid response action plan because I am not seeing anything fucking moving in the last year.

When someone does something wrong do you ask them about it or let it go? Depends on how close I am with them, or how attached I am to the issue.

Do you own plaid shorts? Not shorts but skirt, since I had to wear a school uniform in my old school and our school skirt was plaid.

R - Respect

How do you show respect for someone? I talk nicely about them, even (and especially) behind their backs. I also refuse to act or talk like a superior around them.

What can someone do to lose respect for them? If their stances on politics and certain advocacies are questionable; if I see them treating any employee under any industry shittily; and if they excessively badmouth people behind their backs.

Do you respect your parents, teachers or authority? Yeah. I’m afraid of getting into trouble and being reprimanded, and I always like looking good in superiors’ eyes so I’ve always been a bit of a goody two shoes.

If you're disrespectful to your parents, whats your punishment? I’m 23, have a full-time job, and give them a portion of my salary twice a month so they know they can’t really do anything about it anymore lmao. I’ve definitely noticed they’ve cut back on sermons directed to me. The most that can happen these days is that I would get a mild scolding, but that’s it.

If someone is mean to you, are you mean back? Of course, but I do it very passive-aggressively. I want to make sure I get the last laugh.

S - School

If you're still in school, what grade will you be going into? Not in school anymore and no plans to apply for a postgraduate course any time soon.

When will you graduate high school/college? I graduated high school in 2016, college in 2020.

After high school, what do you plan on doing? I went straight to college, as is the common practice here.

Do you like or hate school? I honestly enjoyed it for the most part; the only thing I really had a problem with was the demanding schedule and workload – back in college, I frequently had classes at 7 or 8:30 AM (which required me to start driving by 5 or 6 AM) and then I had extracurricular activities that would end at 10 PM at the very latest; meaning I was usually in my university for 17 hours every weekday. 

The upside to all of this is that I got to attend my dream school and was surrounded with my close friends, so despite the taxing schedule I have little to no complaints about my college experience, even in retrospect.

Have you ever been expelled or suspended? Never.

T - Temptation

Have you ever done something wrong but inside it was okay? Sure, I’ve definitely had my sneaky moments. Some of them I felt guilty doing and decided I’d never repeat, like cheating on a test; some of them I felt like needed to be a part of my youth years to enjoy life a little bit more and so I was ok doing them, like skipping classes to go see my girlfriend at the time or hang out at a bar with friends.

Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? I never like using the word pressured because my friends were nothing but. They did invite me to try out drinking and smoking, but they never forced me to do anything I was uncomfortable with. My decisions were always mine to make at the end of the day.

Did you ever cheat on someone? Never.

Do you give into temptation easily or are you independent? I think I’m a good balance of it? like I will say I’m influenced easily, but I still have the self-restraint to refuse things I’m adamant about avoiding.

U - Unique

Do you do a lot of things because your friends are? That’s the case sometimes, but not for all.

Do you follow trends or do whatever you want? Again, I can be both. It’s nice to like things that can be my own thing, and it can also feel cool to follow trends because it’s easier to relate to others who are into the same things.

Do you give in easily to peer pressure? No.

What makes you different from people your age? I dunno if there is anything that sets me apart. You’d have to ask other people.

V - Value

What's the most expensive thing in your room? Right now, probably the laptop I was given by my employer for work. I never use it though because my laptop works just fine, and I’m already used to how my own laptop works like and feels like; I have little time to get accustomed to a new laptop, given how hectic my work schedule is. It’s also an older MacBook Pro model, so I don’t want to use it even more than it’s already been used by past employees. I had to sign some contract that basically tells me I have to pay for it if I ever do some damage to it, and the current value is a little above P50,000.

What's more valuable: your life or the ones around you? Others’. But I’m also slowly learning to value my own as well.

What's something you value? Not because it’s expensive but it means a lot? Handwritten letters and notes from friends. Ever since I got a corkboard for Christmas last year I’ve been saving up the ones I’ve received and putting them up on the board; I hope to one day fill it up.

If there was a fire in your house/apartment what would you grab? Kimi. Someone else in the family is in charge of Cooper.

Do you think the past or future is more valuable? I think the present is, actually.

W - Wishes

If you had three wishes, what would they be? A sushi platter, a box of macarons, and my bank account replenished hahaha.

Would you rather wish yourself to be happy or others? Again, others’.

Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe? Sure, but you also have to do something about them if you really want them to come true. Things won’t always come your way.

Have you ever had a wish come true? Yes.

Do you find wishing on things to be a waste of time? Not really; it makes me feel hopeful and gives me a reason to keep doing the things I’m doing.

Y - You

Are you more independent or social? Social. I love being around people. But I also like recharging by myself.

What's something that makes you mad when you see it? Animal abuse, more than anything.

Do you have potential to do anything you want? I hope so.

Do you believe people are born a certain way? No.

What color are your eyes? Dark brown.

Z - Zest

Are you currently happy with your life? I could be doing more if the pandemic wasn’t around, to be honest. But given how much has happened and what I’ve been through, I’m still happy with what I have for now.

When change occurs, do you get scared? Yeah, I’m very resistant to change and I try to avoid or outright deny it as much as possible. I know it’s a problem point of mine that I have to fix.

Do you like to try new things or meet new people? Try new things, yes always. Meet new people, not all the time.

What is the most motivational thing on earth? Money.

Do you have a motto? Nope.

Last questions

Do you hate how the letters on the keyboard aren't in ABC order? No, I’ve long been used to the QWERTY order and never found myself complaining about it either at any point.

Do you drink water? ...What?

What did you have for breakfast? I skipped it today, but this morning I did have a box of these chocolate Korean snacks that was part of the ~care package~ she had sent over to my house last Thursday.

Do you like convertibles? They’re cool. I don’t need to have one of them, but they look nice.

Do you like the American or British way of spelling words? I don’t have a preference in the sense that I dislike one of these, but I tend to follow American spelling.

What colors are on your country's flag? Blue, red, white, and yellow.

Can you skateboard? Nope, I haven’t even tried getting on one.

Do you like long hair? Sure, but not too long.

Do you like Fiber One bars? I’ve never tried them but judging from the name I doubt they would be favorites of mine.

What does your sleeping bag look like? I never need to use a sleeping bag, so I don’t have one.

Do you like to save your results after a survey? Yep, which is why I opened a Tumblr for it.

Do you like Sour Patch Kids? Just some flavors. I leave the other ones because I find them too sour for my liking.

If you could have your own show, what would it be about? Fooooooooooood triiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.

Ever rode on a jet? Not yet.

[cicici03]

Chapter 8- Just Listen

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock

It has been five hours since the incident.

The immediate family of Tre and Cierra was in the waiting room. All you heard was the clock ticking back and forth. With Cierra being in surgery for four hours, everybody was on edge. The person who was most on edge was Tre.

He sat over in corner and have not move from it since they been here. Looking out the window, Tre saw as a bunch of paparazzi sat outside. Even though Tre was a little bit more private about his life, Cierra was not.

He saw when The ShadeRoom post about Cierra’s accident. Also, with information of their being a riff in their marriage due to neighbors telling. He just sat their and just thought about his marriage since they took Cierra back.

Knowing that a divorce was the best due to arguing and anger that the kids felt toward both of their parents. That it was starting to riff the kids on choosing sides. However, he wanted his marriage to stay. Not because he wanted to be married, but Cierra was the woman of his dreams and love of his life. They were happy. He made mistakes and she made mistakes. Mistakes that could not be turn back, but that had to be dealt with now.

As he thought about his marriage, Mia, Jakob, and Amya sat on the other corner thinking too. Mia was angry with both of her parents. With her dad bringing the Target lady to the house to Mia not knowing who the lady truly was. To her mom talking to Mike and being hostile to her during these four months. Mia never have saw her mother so hurt and angry than these past four months.

Mia looked at her dad, and saw a tear fall down her dad’s eye. All of sudden her vision start clouding up. Mia quickly look down at her lap seeing her skirt had little tear drops on them. Mia was the child Cierra and Tre did not look much at. Mia always have been independent and want to things for herself instead of her parents. However, Mia still had feelings just like everybody else.

Amaya looked up from her iPad and looked at the tears on Mia’s skirt. Amya realize not to ask, or it was going to start a lot of commotion. Amya looked back on her iPad and look in the photos. She scrolled up to the one where she took of her parents in secret. They were laying on the couch, Cierra in between Tre’s leg, with Tre looking down at her with a smile while Cierra looked at the TV.

Even though, Amaya is young, she knew her parents were happy. Amaya held in the tears and look at Jakob. Jakob was looking at his dad, with the evilest glare, and just shook his head. Jakob was just angry with his dad so much. He was mad at his mom, but his dad hurt her so bad. From cheating on her when she was pregnant, to going with the lady who he cheats with to New York on their anniversary, to telling her that it was her fought she had a miscarriage. Jakob did not which he was supposed to be angrier at.

He looked at his dad, the person who taught him not to hurt the person that you love most, when you are going through trying times. To him hurting the person who he loves the most. As Jakob was thinking all this, Amaya kept looking at Jakob and saw the tears coming from his eyes.

“Ja Ja” Amaya quietly spoken to her brother, trying not to get much attention their way. Jakob looked at Amaya with tears coming down his eyes. He saw Amaya with the same tears, with her iPad facing up with the picture of their parents. To Mia, his twin, with her head down and tears falling down her face onto her skirt. He even got angrier with his dad and that was the fuse that took him off.

Jakob got up from the chair quickly, and ran over  to his dad with a bottle of water. Out of the corner of Tre’s eye he saw Jakob. He saw the anger and he saw him unscrew that top off the water bottle.

“ You fucking liar.” Jakob screamed at his dad, with the tears pouring down his face more than ever. All the family looked at Jakob, shock by his choice of words to his dad and the sadness in his eyes.

“ You lied. You told me to never hurt the person you love the most when you are having a hard time.” Jakob yelled even louder, that made Marcus come over their to his grandson. Tre looked at Marcus, giving the look to tell him everything is all good, and looked back at his son to see what he will say next.

“Guess what you did, your hurt momma! Your hurt dad! She hurt you! You both hurt each other!” Jakob exclaimed with each sentence. Ever word he said he sink more and more into the ground. After he was done, Jakob just laid on the ground crying.

With tears in Tre’s eyes he looked at his son on the floor. He got up and pick up and Jakob. He sat back down in his chair and hug him. Tre looked over at the girls looking at him and crying and holding each other.

“ My My and Mia.” Tre said with each word his voice crack. The girls look at their dad and ran over to him. Amaya sat on the arm of Tre’s chair and Mia sat on the chair right besides Tre. The family, sat their and cried together.

“ Daddy even though I said I wanted you and momma to get a divorce, I don’t! I want y’all to be happy again!” Mia said into her dad’s shirt. As Tre heard those words, the flood gate of tears that he had been holding in has burst. He realize that his kids saw everything. They saw the belittling of both of their parents. To the arguments that happen in the house.

Tre was a bunch of emotions.

Both Cierra and Tre hurt their children, which both didn’t want to do. They wanted each other to hurt for the hurt they have been going through. With that, Tre is stuck.

Divorce.

Or.

Work it out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7:00 a.m.

Sunday

It has been more than 12 hours since the accident and there have still not been any word of Cierra’s condition. The kids were sleeping on some of the long couches in waiting room. With Cierra parents and aunt, Angelo, Logan, and Tre’s mom went to go get breakfast due to Tre not wanting to leave.

However, Tre was to only person who have not been able to sleep. He could not sleep due to not knowing what the condition of his wife was. Still sitting in the same chair, he looks outside and saw more than double the paparazzi than yesterday.

He shook his head.

He sometimes wishes he never done Moonlight, but with that much power behind the film he could not pass up telling the story. The kids started to wake up, just in the nick of time when everybody was coming back with breakfast.

“ We got eggs, sausage, grits, cheese grits, biscuits, and much more.” one of Tre’s aunt walked in with everybody that left. Tre looked away from the window and saw many more of his relatives and Cierra’s coming through the tiny, private waiting room door.

This warm his heart. No matter what he knows that his family and Cierra’s will be right behind. As the thoughts cleared out of his head, he saw a doctor walk in through the door. The short, black, doctor with her pixie cut and black scrubs walk around trying to find someone. Tre shot up and ran right to her.

“Excuse me, are you Cierra Rhodes doctor?” Tre speedily question the doctor. The doctor smile and shook her head showing Tre to a seat. As Tre sat down, the doctor sat down right beside him. Everybody started to take notice and started to quiet down to hear what the doctor was about to say.

“ Well, I have good news and bad news.” the doctor said while skimming the across the waiting rooms looking at the faces. As she turns back to Tre, she saw Amaya on his lap with Jakob and Mia behind him.

“ Well I am going to start off with the good news. She is perfectly fine.” ,when the doctor said that you could hear the relief in the room, “ We fix her broken knee and stop the internal bleeding in her stomach. However, she is going to have a lot of physical therapy. With me saying that, it is going be a long road.” the doctor finish with looking at Tre.

“ The only thing that matters is that she is alive.” Lisa exclaimed at the doctor. Even though her and Cierra was on the best of terms for most of her life. Lisa started to see that she was wrong and that had to happen when her daughter look like her time on Earth was about to end.

“ Can we at least go see her.” Angelo looked at the doctor while finally calming down from crying. The doctor look a little hesitant. With her talking to Cierra before she came out here, she told her to invite in a person that was hated by her entire family.

“ Well, there is one person she wants to talk to first,” the doctor gulped down “ Is their a Mike… or Michael in here?” the doctor said with many pauses in between. All of the sudden, the tension was more than thick.

It was suffocating.

“ That’s me.” Mike quietly said out loud with roses in his hand. With that people started to move out the way for him, which made him a path to the doctor and Tre. Mike carefully walked by without looking anyone in the face, but the doctor. He looked at Tre, who had Amaya in lap, and both was mean mugging me.

The doctor realize that the hate was real and walk Mike towards the back. Everybody looked at Tre and trying to read him.

They could not.

Tre was at a lost for words that his wife would choose Mike to come before the kids and him. Angry was not even the answer, more like disgust.

In Cierra’s hospital room, she looked outside the window seeing the same paparazzi, which have now triple, that Tre saw from the window in the waiting room. As she heard the knock on the door, she knew what she had to do.

As Mike walk in, he smiled at Cierra, which she did not return the favor. Mike sat on the end of her bed and looked at her: tired.

“ Well how have you been beautiful?” Mike grinned while looking at Cierra. Cierra saw the roses and was not shock he brought them.

“ Didn’t I tell you not to come that Monday night?” Cierra muttered still looking out the window. Mike knew what she talk about, the night the fight between Tre and Mike happen. As Mike was getting closer to Cierra’s house, he told her that he wanted to drop by. With Cierra repleying with a definite no.

“ Cierra,” before he could finish, Cierra continue speaking “ I told you that for a reason. With you coming that night, it have led to this event. The event of me being in the hospital, thinking about life, my life.” Cierra snapped while turning her towards him at the end.

“ I happy you came that night and sad. I am sad that you came that night because you showed me that my marriage was absolute shit. That I have been mad at my husband ever since he cheated on me. For almost thirteen years, and I let that stay in and didn’t open it back up.” Cierra sobbed turning her head back at the window.

“ However, I am happy you came that night. You made me realize that my feelings where kept in so long that I did not know how to communicate with people about my feelings. You made me realize that even through my marriage at the wit ends. Even through his mistakes and mines, I still love Trevante Nemour Rhodes,” Cierra pause while looking back at Mike, “ I know he still loves me too. With me saying that, I have cut the parasite that is ruining me.” Cierra boldly stated to Mike.

“ I am my parasite. I did not talk to my husband, and just listen to him when he needed me the most. I was too busy with Ebonixs and you. A man that gave me something that I needed. Somebody who have been through a divorce and still is hurt by his divorce,” Cierra stated still looking at Mike, whom was about to get strip down to his bones, “ A man, who need a woman, who was feeling pain and hurt by her spouse. A man, who still need approve from a woman to be himself. Lastly, a man who don’t know his damn worth in society.” Cierra said with authority.

Mike start bawling out of nowhere. Mike didn’t cry, and he definitely didn’t cry in public.

“ However, this man can change. A man whom loves his daughter dearly and is an fantastic creative brain. A man that knows what he want and will go after. Lastly, a man that knows that he can do better.” As Cierra said those words, Mike looked at her and shaked his head.

He understood that Cierra wanted her husband. Even though he kept saying he did not want Cierra to her, she knew he wanted her. Mike got up and hug Cierra. He left the roses on the counter, and went out the door with tears coming down his eyes.

Cierra’s doctor saw him and realize that her patient took her advice. Cierra’s doctor looked at Mike and he looked at her. She took him out the door not wanting him to get jump. As they walked out the door, everybody eyes cut back at Mike.

Mike looked around at the last everybody. Welp, I know that I can’t go to the cookout next year. Mike finally looked at the man. The man’s wife that he wanted to take for his own: Tre.

As Mike and Tre had a showed down, Mike finally spoke up.

“ Excuse me everybody, “Mike spoke loudly to the family in the private waiting room. Everybody looked at him with disgust, and Angelo spoke up too.

“ What the hell you want Red Power Ranger! You know I wish I could cut you. If I weren’t on probation, your ass would be cut up!” Angelo berated at Mike. Aunty Christy and Logan had to calm Angelo down.

“ Well, I need to say a few things to Tre and his family. Tre, I am deeply sorry for hurting you. By talking to your wife, to trying to end your marriage, and telling your business to your family which was not mind.” Mike declared to everybody still looking at Tre.

“ I will like to apologize to your kids, Amaya, Mia, and Jakob. I am sorry that I hurt your dad by physical and emotional means.” while looking at the kids, which Amaya was the only one looking to forgive.

“ With that, Tre, you have a good woman back there. Even though she made mistakes and you did too. Fight for it. Plus, your wife you and the kids to go in the back” Mike said putting emphasizes on the end of the last sentence. When he finishes, he follow the same path out, not knowing where life is going to take him.

When Mike left, Cierra’s doctor usher the kids and Tre back to her room. As they got to her room, Amaya bust to through the door to her momma.

“ Momma! I miss you!” Amya got on the bed, missing the cast on Cierra’s leg by an inch. As Amaya hug her, Cierra burst out in tears. Both Mia and Jakob ran to their mom and hug her too. They all were crying. Cierra looked up and didn’t see Tre at the door. As the kids let go, he appeared at the door.

They both look at each other. This time they both didn’t see sadness or tired eyes. They saw happiness. Tre walk over to her and look at her again.

All sudden, he busted out crying.

He bent down and grab his wife face and kiss her like he never kissed her before. It was tender, and gentle, but rough and nasty. After a while of kissing each other, Amaya said something.

“ Ummm daddy, I want mommy’s lips to still be on her face.” Amaya disgustedly look at her dad when he came up for air. Everybody laughed at her and the family was united again.

“ Hey kids, I know y’all want to talk to mommy, but we need to have a talk.” Trevante interrupted the laughter between the family. As the kids left to go the waiting room, Tre and Cierra looked at each other.

“ Cierra. I want to fight for us and I want us to be better. However, we put the kids through a lot and we both have wounds that need healing.” Tre muttered with tears coming down. Cierra shook her head while stating:

“ Well what do you think best?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, what is best?

counseling or divorce?

go to doctor stacey who is equivalent to iyanla

or

say goodbye to it?

tag list:

@l-auteuse @ljstraightnochaser @munteanhore @twistedcharismaaa @19jammmy

[gerec]

The Master of Charlton Park

Chapter 8 - Part 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

This is a double update, and the end of chapter 8! Only the epilogue to go now in Charles’ POV, before we can put this regency au to bed!!! 

-----

“Yes,” Raven added, and Erik could hear her laughing still as she tossed a parting remark over her shoulder. “Take as much time as you need to get reacquainted! We shall keep the children occupied until dinner.” And then they were gone, leaving Erik with Charles alone in the drawing room, together for the first time since Charles’ wedding day all those years ago. Neither of them spoke for long moments, with Erik trying to calm his fraying nerves while Charles hid his expression behind his teacup. The quiet was tension filled, with words unspoken permeating the air, as conspicuous as the lines that remained unwritten in the many letters they’d shared. “So when did you—” “Well, I really can’t—” They both stopped mid-sentence and laughed, and some of the stiffness in Charles’ frame all but melted away. In turn the anxiety that had built up in Erik’s gut promptly disappeared, and his tongue did not feel quite so heavy as he searched for the right thing to say. There were a million things he wanted to ask and a million he wanted to say, though there was one in particular that needed to be addressed. “I confess I did not expect to see you back in England,” Erik began, keeping his eyes glued to Charles’ face. “After the Captain…I thought you might come back then, to be with Raven and the rest of your family. But then you wrote and said that you would be staying in America…” It was plain to see the lasting effect Rogers’ passing had on Charles, for he remained clad in mourning attire still, though the incident had occurred almost a year and half ago. Even now the pain of his loss was palpable, and Charles had to take a deep breath and compose himself before he could answer. “There was so much work to do, after the fire,” he said, his hands shaking just a little as he set his cup aside. “Finding temporary homes for the children, raising funds to rebuild…I couldn’t abandon them when they needed me the most.” He remembered clearly the shock he felt, and the sorrow for Charles and the Captain both when Raven had shared with him the contents of her brother’s letter. An accidental fire, sweeping through the small orphanage that the couple ran in New York City. The bravery of Rogers as he ran in again and again to rescue those trapped inside, until all the children were safely accounted for. How he had succumbed to too much smoke in his lungs from that courageous feat, and died the same way he’d lived – as a hero, honorable and beloved. “Charles, I’m so, so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you,” Charles said, and though his voice wobbled just a little, he did not lose his composure. “For your letters, and for your condolences. I will not deny that it was very difficult, losing Steve, though I was lucky to have James and Natasha’s support.”

Erik nodded. “You mentioned them in your letters; a Mr. Barnes and his wife. I believe he’s the Captain’s friend and former shipmate?” “Indeed Steve and James had been friends since they were children,” Charles agreed, and smiled when Erik refilled his cup with fresh tea from the pot. “And he and Natasha both have become great friends to me. I could not have made the decision to come home if not for the two of them, you know. I would not have left the orphanage if I did not know they would take excellent care of the children in our stead.”   He had thought himself beyond petty jealousy, having long accepted Charles’ marriage to Rogers, and yet he still felt a twinge at the way his ex-lover said ‘our’ when he spoke of his late husband. There was so much affection, admiration and love, and a shared passion in their work together with the lost children they fostered. They’d had a life together, even if it had been tragically cut short, with a son that they could love wholly and without any societal constraints.           It was the life he’d wanted – still wanted – with Charles, though he had no idea if it was even possible, after all this time apart. “Then I am grateful to them as well, and so very thankful to have you back in our lives again.” Charles smiled, and squeezed his hand. “I am glad to be back too, Erik. I have missed you and Edie, so very much.” --- They went to see Mrs. Fergus next, who, as expected was thrilled to see Charles again, and embraced him heartily as a long lost son. After promising more of Charles’ favorite dishes for tonight’s dinner, and securing from him a promise to return often to visit, she shooed them from the kitchen and set to work. Charles was visibly moved by the warmth of her welcome, and seemed surprised at the fondness he’d inspired, from his relatively short time living at Charlton Park. But it was the same with everyone they visited; with Azazel and Janos and the rest of Erik’s staff, who were all full of smiles and well wishes for one they saw as their own. Charles was still smiling when Erik led him outside for a walk on the grounds. They had taken this path together many times, following the exterior of the house to the gardens, and then onwards towards one of the small streams that criss-crossed the property. It was a companionable silence, and one that Erik cherished greatly, basking in the simple joy of Charles’ presence at this side again. Though he still had great hopes – for Charles to love him again, and be with him once more – it would be enough if simple friendship was all that existed between them, now and in the future. Their feet took them to a familiar spot under a canopy of trees; one of their favorite places on the grounds to visit while Charles was pregnant with Edie. It was the crest of a small hill, overlooking the surrounding area, close enough to see the house in the distance but far enough for privacy. They had stolen many a kiss here, entwined in each other’s arms, blissfully happy as they awaited the birth of their baby. Ignorant of the separation that would come to pass, with a bright future still before them… It had truly been the most magical time of his life. “You know, I never had the chance to thank you, for what you did,” Charles said, his voice drawing Erik back from the memories of that far off time. He shook his head and smiled. “I am always at your service, Charles, though I’m not sure what you mean.” “I mean—” And here Charles turned to face Erik, his eyes brimming with emotion, and reached to grip tightly at his hands. “I know why you were there that day, at my wedding. I know you came to stop it, and I know why you didn’t, once you realized that Steve and I had already exchanged our vows.” “Oh.” It was entirely unexpected, that Charles should bring up that painful memory, and he did not know what to say in reply. “I—” He sighed, and squeezed Charles’ hands in return. “You were married, Charles. I could not bear to ruin your special day.” “I know,” Charles said, and the smile on his face was tinged with sadness – for Erik, or for them both he could not say. “I realized only months later, when Raven wrote me about your divorce from Emma. You gave me my happiness, at the expense of your own, Erik, and I shall always be grateful to you. More than I can say.” Erik swallowed, and steeled himself for what he knew was coming. “Your happiness is all I’ve ever wanted.” “I told myself that things between us might have changed,” Charles continued, and Erik was almost glad that his heart couldn’t be broken again, since it had never fully mended in the first place. “I did not come here expecting anything, or to pretend that things did not happen as they did. Only I wanted - needed to tell you that I—” “Please, Charles,” Erik said, because he did not actually think he could bear any pity, or worse, for Charles to feel a sense of obligation to be with him. “You don’t have to explain. I would gladly remain your friend, and be greatly honored for it, for the rest of our days.” He did not know what expression he wore, but Charles gasped and cupped his hands gently on either side of Erik’s face. “Oh, I’ve made a terrible mess of this, haven’t I? No, darling, no you misunderstand me. I only meant to say that I love you, still, always and forever, and was hoping, perhaps…that you might still love me too?” Stunned, Erik could only stare at Charles with wide, disbelieving eyes. “You…you love me?” “Yes,” Charles said, “though I wouldn’t presume that you might feel the same way.” “You wouldn’t…” He paused then, as laughter bubbled in his chest, his heart suddenly filled with joy overflowing. “How could you even think that I might not still love you, Charles, with everything that I am? That I could ever stop loving you, always and forever until the day I died?” At last his remaining self-restraint fell to the wayside, and he swept a grinning Charles into his arms, spinning them both until they were giddy and breathless with laughter. And he kissed him then, as he’s dreamed of doing for so long, relishing the taste of Charles’ mouth, and the way he moaned against Erik’s lips. They clutched each other desperately, as though afraid the other might disappear, so lost in euphoria that he did not know where Erik Lehnsherr ended and Charles Xavier began. He did not know how long they stayed on that hill, or who was the first to pull the other onto the grass; Erik only knew happiness, and a contentment he did not believe he would ever feel again. Of course they could not do much more than share lazy kisses, given their location, and the fact that the children were waiting; Erik knew that they’d already left his guests to their own devices for much longer than was polite or proper. “You will marry me, won’t you?” he asked, as they brushed the grass from their trousers and fixed their jackets and cravats. Charles did not seem surprised to hear his abrupt proposal, and he pulled Erik into another kiss before he led them down the hill and back towards the stables. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you,” Charles said, “though not this minute, and not for a while yet. “We must think of Edie and James after all, and ease them into the idea of our relationship.” He knew that Edie would be over the moon when she found out about Charles and Erik, though he could not say the same for young James who had lost his father not so long ago. For his sake, and for Charles’, he would wait as long as it was needed. “Will you accept my courtship then? In the meantime?” Erik asked, as he brushed a soft kiss on Charles’ hand. “Will you let me lavish you with gifts, and call upon you at your home, until such time that we both deem it suitable to wed?” Once, he thought he knew true happiness, in his lover’s arms, or looking together upon the sweet face of their newborn daughter. And yet, it was only now that the path before them was truly clear of any obstacles; that they were each finally free to choose a life together without sacrifice and pain. “Yes,” Charles said, and Erik could only smile as they made their way home.