#I wish i could think of more but it rly only comes to me when im watching the thing

[skitskatdacat63]

I forgot how good Mr Robot is aaaghhhh, also way more relatable to me now than I remember it being 😭😭

[stardust-thief]

look after you

an: this my first x reader fic LMAOO, i needed to write smth and this spencer was on my brain :// i am in the middle of a rly long donna fic but i cba this was much easier. also i absolutley have not proof read this sorry

synopsis: you get hurt while hunting down an unsub, after some reluctance (and kind words from papa rossi) you let spencer take care of you, 1.7k words

cw: descriptions of violence, panic attack, spencer swears and can drive (the most un-canon thing abt him) umm italians..., the rest is just fluffy, hurt/comfort, x reader but no y/n

masterlist

The unsub had his gun pointed at you, the cold press of the barrel against flesh. He was ranting and raving about needing to be seen and understood, having spent his childhood in emotional neglect. Teachers and parents failed him at every turn, it’s not his fault that this happened but he can fix it if he just drops the gun. Rossi tried to tell him this over and over, but he only got more angry, pushing the gun in harder and harder. 

If you were to open your eyes, you would’ve seen JJ and Luke there too, guns trained on the unsub. Their eyes glancing between you, the unsub, and the gun. But you didn’t. Not until the bang went off and you could breathe again. 

The flashing lights of the ambulance do nothing to dissuade the pressing headache you feel coming on, the movement of people helps even less. You watch as the EMT’s cart the unsub away on a gurney, sheet covering him. 

“You okay, kid?” Rossi asks from beside you, he had been hovering ever since the ambulance arrived. 

“I’m fine, just need a good night's rest. I’ll be good as new.” You hummed half-heartedly. 

David Rossi always knew when someone was lying to him, part of that talent comes from his job as a profiler, but it’s mostly because of some ancient Italian magic. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that to me. Look, Hotch is on his way with Reid and Emily. They’re gonna be taking some witness statements, but I imagine Boy Wonder will be a little distracted. I want you to let him take care of you, ok? You’ve been through hell tonight kid, let him worry.”

Italians never lie, although you wish they did. Spencer had very obviously caught feelings for you, everyone on the team could see it. Unfortunately, so could you. Spencer Reid was one of the kindest, most genuine people you had ever met, always putting other people's needs before his own. A voice in your head kept telling you that there is nothing you have done to deserve someone like him doting all over you? You had only brought trouble to the people who loved you. Eventually you learned that it was better to just keep everyone at a distance; if you don’t let them in, they can’t get hurt. Which worked well, up until Spencer.

He had such a wormy way of getting into your brain at the worst times; whether it was when you were alone in your kitchen, or at slightly dangerous, very inappropriate times on a case. You couldn’t stop thinking about him and his stupidly cute (and sometimes ill-timed) facts. Some part of you wanted to let him in, in the end the stubborn side always took over. 

Before long, you heard the worried cries of Spencer trying to find you in the chaos. Rossi called his name and gave you a pat on the shoulder, “Remember, you deserve to be looked after too.” and left to find Hotch.

“Oh my god, are you okay? We tried to get here as soon as we could, but they managed to take down the unsub right? What happened, did he hurt you? How did you get so close? Talk to me are-” Oh, how he rambles. 

“Spencer, I’m fine. I just need to… rest, you know. He didn’t hurt me that bad, just a sprained wrist, couple bruises. Could’ve been worse.”

He spluttered, “Could’ve- you know, that doesn’t make this any better, I was so worried about you. He had a fucking gun to your head, I was going insane thinking about what could’ve happened. What did the EMT say about your wrist?”

“Just to rest it, and use an ice pack if it starts to swell or hurt.” You couldn’t look him in the eye, he was so worried about you. It made butterflies dance in your belly, but there was a twinge of guilt there too. He was so busy, he worked so hard and then went home to look after his mom. He had too much on his plate, how could you add more to it? “Spence, I’m really sorry about worrying you. I should be fine to leave now, so I’ll just head home and sleep it off. Have a good night.” You pushed yourself off the ambulance, eyes focused downwards, restless fingers fidgeting with the already frayed bandage.

“No- wait what are you talking about? You’re gonna drive yourself home in this condition? I can’t let you do that, even thinking about it makes me feel sick.” He lowered his head to yours and spoke softer this time, “Please let me take you home. I don’t have to stay, I just want to make sure you’re ok, ok?”

Fuck that voice did things to you. Leaning from side to side, you thought about what Rossi had said earlier. Maybe, it was ok to let someone in? It would be cruel to let him suffer more, not knowing if you were ok or somehow got in a car crash with 5 other vehicles on your way home. Just this once, you think.

Looking up into his soft eyes, you give a small nod. His lips immediately turned up into a smile, his hand comes up to cup your head, fingers stroking your cheek. It felt… nice. His thumb was calloused but he still moisturised enough for it to feel smooth, and he smelled like lemongrass and ginger. His hand fell to the small of your back as he guided you to his car. Ever the gentlemen, he opened your door and softly placed his hand over your head as you got in. Manoeuvring himself into the driver's side, he pulled out his phone and typed something, then quickly stuffed it away into a pocket and turned on the engine.

The sky was dark when you woke up. The unsub had a gun to your head at dusk, and Spencer was walking into your apartment when the moon was out. He took off his shoes and the door, and walked into your living room.

“I’ve never been here before,” he mused. “I like it.”

He looked at ease wandering around your apartment, his shoulders had relaxed and he let out soft musings as he perused your photo collections.

“Oh Spencer, not that one, it’s embarrassing!” You tried (with not a lot of effort) to pull him away from the frame.

“No this is cute, was this when you were at University?” He asked, wrapping an arm around you.

Oh my god. “Yeah, um- those were some of my friends at the time. I try and keep in touch but, you know.”

He hummed, pulling you closer into him. Finally content, he looked down at you. “How’s your wrist?”

“It’s ok,” you shrugged, “just a little tender now.”

“Where’s your kitchen, I can get some ice.”

“Spence-” you wanted to tell him no, to go home and look after himself. But his body was so warm, having him so close to you melted your brain, leaving you unable to think of any good reason as to why he should leave. “It’s the first door on the right.”

His grip tightened for a moment before he swiftly navigated you to the sofa, and turned to leave for the kitchen. The cold of the apartment rushed to get you as soon as he unraveled his arms. You hadn’t been alone all day since the unsubs attack, it somehow felt more claustrophobic. His hand on your throat, squeezing the air from your lungs. The way he grabbed your arm, contorting it so he could throw you to the ground. The gun, pressed into your forehead. The knowledge that the only thing between you being alive, and you being in a ditch, was a madman's finger on the trigger. Reality faded as each memory pressed further and further into your mind. You weren’t in your apartment anymore, you could feel the cold concrete beneath your hands. The thick air in your lungs, Rossi and the unsub shouting.

A hand on your knee, a soft voice bringing you back. There was no unsub, no gun to your head. You were alive. You were alive and Spencer was in your apartment, wiping the tears that had fallen down your face.

“You with me?” His voice was so soft, you couldn’t recall ever hearing Spencer raise his voice in anger. He was so gentle when he touched you. 

The floodgates burst, choked sobs made their way past your lips. Your shoulder shook as you cried, pressing yourself into Spencer’s arms. “Oh honey,” He murmured, pressing his lips into your head, softly rocking you back and forth as you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. It was too much. You could have died today. Very nearly did. You weren’t ready to die, not yet at least.

As your cries softened into hiccups, you pushed yourself back from Spencer. “I’m sorry, that was so disgusting. It just all- I don’t know.”

 “Hey, you don’t ever have to apologise to me ok? What you went through was really scary, I’d honestly be more shocked if you didn’t cry.” His hand moved to draw soothing shapes along your back as you leaned back into him. “You want to watch something to calm down? I brought you some water and an ice pack for your wrist.”

He would be the death of you. You nod and push yourself back into the sofa, moving your wrist to rest in your lap. Spencer gently places the ice pack across your wrist and grips the tips of your fingers. He leans forward to push your cup of water towards you and grabs the TV remote, then turns and leans back so your side is pressed into his front. Truthfully, Spencer didn’t seem like the type to watch cable TV but he navigated the menu with somewhat ease. 

“Look at what’s on! It’s your favourite isn’t it, you want me to put it on.” He said as he nudged your shoulder.

He remembered your favourite film, of course he would remember it he has an eidetic memory. You hummed a yes as you relaxed your body further into his, finally content. Maybe Rossi was right, having Spencer close really wasn’t so bad after all.

[suguboos]

DOUBLE OR NOTHING

after countless empty promises spilled from his lips, you wanted to believe that he’d show up to your anniversary of all things.

FEATURING: toji fushiguro x wife! reader

CONTENTS: non canon compliant/au, marriage problems, talks of divorce, angst, smut, porn w/out plot rly, unprotected p in v, cunnilingus, fingering, spanking, doggy, missionary against a wall, pet names (ma, princess, etc.)

WORD COUNT: 4.9k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: repost bc i need this dilf in my bed rn 😞

"I'll make it home to you by six, mama. Take you out on a nice date, get you some flowers, all that stuff you like. Promise."

The clock was nearing eight o'clock with no signs of Toji coming through the door anytime soon, your own patience starting to run out with every tick. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. The sound echoed through your ears since you'd sat down on the leather couch nearly two hours ago, waiting for Toji to fulfill the promise. A promise that he'd made after flaking out on the date planned prior to that one.

And prior to that one. And prior. It'd been more missed dates than actual ones that he'd taken you out by now—you weren't exactly sure why you'd hoped for tonight to be different. Well, you knew exactly why. Today marked three years of being married to one another. You knew that he didn't prioritize date nights with you as much as he should, but you had held some sort of foolish hope that your anniversary would mean something—anything to him.

The divorce papers felt like a dead weight in your hand, much like how your relationship would be the second that you brought it up. It all just seemed so final, seeing the terms laid out that would end years of marriage. Just by the flick of a pen. But the idea was almost like a reprieve, like something that was worth looking forward to. You shook your head, getting up from the couch to set the stack of papers on the kitchen table where Toji wouldn't miss them.

Another half hour of eerie silence and Toji still hadn't come through the door. It was getting increasingly difficult to keep some semblance of hope that he'd even show up at all, much less for your date. You admitted defeat, slipping off your heels and pulling up a throw blanket over yourself. Succumbing to the sleep that was weighing down on your eyelids.

You weren't even sure how much time had passed when you heard the door swing open, the door hitting the wall from the force. The thud of his shoes hitting the tile followed, a grumble leaving Toji's lips. "Fuckin' bastards rigged that race. Robbed me of fifty bucks," he muttered to himself, slipping his coat off before placing it up on the coat rack.

"You're home late," you called out, watching as Toji turned to look at the couch before flicking on one of the living room lights. "Jesus woman, you scared me," he grumbled, a large hand resting by his chest as he looked over in your direction. Toji rubbed a hand over his face, exhaustion lingering on his face like a second skin. It was only then that he looked over at you, really looked at you, and what you were wearing.

Ah shit.

Almost as if he wanted to make the situation worse, he'd chosen to go with, "You got all dolled up just to fall asleep on the couch?" You could've sworn you felt your eye twitch at the question. He'd barely opened up his mouth and you were already wishing that he didn't even bother showing up for the night.

Toji knew he was in deep shit with each step he took into the living room, his mind already starting to work overdrive to figure out what he could do for what he'd missed. A date? No, you wouldn't have put on the very expensive pair of Louboutins for just any date. His mind was blanking on anything other than the numbers that he'd lost with earlier in the day. Come on, think.

"No, I got dolled up because I thought I'd be going out with my husband tonight," you retorted dryly, smudges of eyeshadow sticking to your hand when you went to rub at your eyes. You could see Toji's brows furrow, the wheels seeming to turn in his head for once, before a look of realization settled on his features.

"Look, I'm sorry. I got carried away at the casino," one of the many excuses you'd heard before coming back to bite you in the ass. The same excuse that he'd used last month when he forgot about a work party you'd mentioned to him. Which wouldn't have been too bad if it weren't for all the snide comments being whispered in your direction and all the unwarranted marriage advice.

Advice that you ended up forgetting about chugging down two glasses of tequila like water. "I'll make it up to you, I swear. You can pick the place and all that shit." There went another one. He'd really topped himself using the two of them in a row. You rubbed the bridge of your nose, looking over at him in disbelief. "Do you even know what today was? Why I'm so pissed off?"

"It's your birthday?" Toji spoke after a couple seconds, the answer clearly wrong just by the look on his face. You rubbed a hand over your face, standing up from your spot on the couch. "It's our wedding anniversary, Toji," you spoke up before he made another guess that would just piss you off even further, "And I have something I need to talk to you about. It's on the kitchen table."

Underneath the vase filled with wilted flowers—a collection more than anything that you kept around as a reminder that Toji used to care, was a stack of papers. He placed the vase down on the table with more force than necessary upon realizing what the documents were. "A divorce?" The words slipped out of him with such venom, such distaste, like the idea was unfathomable.

Toji slammed the papers down on the table, the salt and pepper shakers trembling before falling over. "Is that really what you want?" He stepped closer to you when you approached the table, his hands instinctively moving to hold your hips. Holding you close to his body. "No, I didn't get married with the intention of getting a divorce. But you've been neglecting this marriage for a couple months now."

"I'll make it up to you now," Toji spoke quickly, like he was afraid of losing you at any moment. Like you'd disappear if he didn't. And as much as you wanted to avoid looking over at him, the task had just become all that much difficult when you had nowhere else to look at. It only took one glance at his face to realize just what he meant by 'making it up to you.'

"You think you're gonna fix months of pushing me aside with just sex?"

"Nah, I know it's gonna take more. But you've been so tired, isn't that right? So tired of tryin' to keep this marriage from falling apart and nobody taking care of you?" His words were like a siren's song when he whispered them in your ear, your traitorous body leaning back to meet the drag of your fingertips. It was almost laughable at how easily your resolve had melted. "Lemme take care of you mama. Promise I'll make you feel good."

"You wanna call me a dick, never wanna see me again? That's fine, just don't deny me one last taste. Please," And while Toji wasn't a man to beg for anything in his life, he found himself saying the words anyways. "Thought this was you making it up to me," and as much as you were willing yourself not to fold, you felt yourself spreading your legs almost instinctively when his finger dragged up your inner thigh.

"Can't it be both?" Toji's teeth nipped at your neck, licking a stripe up the junction of your neck. Practically salivating at the taste of you, of the expensive perfume you'd put on just a mere hours beforehand. "One could say that you're just being selfish," your words quickly died out when Toji started sucking on your pulse point, your own heartbeat betraying you. You'd expected Toji to sass you back, say something about how your body was just so needy against his touch.

But instead, he dropped down to his knees in front of you. The wooden floor underneath his knees almost made him feel bad for all the times he had you in a similar position. Almost. Toji looked up at you, "Selfish only when it comes to you."

Every slow drag of his fingertips across your smooth skin seemed almost reverent— like you were something to worship. You were, he just failed to realize that until now. Until you were almost out the door. "I'm sorry," the first real apology of the night slipped out of his mouth, his lips pressed against your shin. "I'm sorry," he moved up to your knee, repeating the action. Hushed whispers of I'm sorry's and featherlight kisses moving up your legs, stopping only when he gets to your clothed cunt.

"I'm sorry," Toji uttered his last apology against your cunt, his eyes locking onto yours as he applied an open mouthed kiss on your clothed clit. Barely darting his tongue out, swirling it against the nerves that were just begging for one ounce of stimulation. And he was practically reveling in how needy he made you in the span of seconds. Your back arched to rest against the seat behind you, one of your hands going to rest on his head.

Toji's fingers dragged slowly in between your folds, feeling the wet patch already starting to form through the thin lace material. You refused to make eye contact with him, knowing that if you did, he'd be able to see just how desperate you were in just a manner of seconds. Even if the bastard probably had a clue already. "You sure your pussy agrees with the divorce?" His voice came out to something akin to a purr, the drag of his fingers slowing down.

Getting you even more worked up than you were already. "Fucking hate you, can't even apologize right," you let out a hiss, your hand going down to his hair. Pulling his head even closer to you despite your previous claim. "Fine, I'll apologize correctly," Toji sounded like you were the one inconveniencing him—to which you were. He wanted to take his time with his meal, have you begging for him to touch you. And normally, he would've.

If he weren't desperate to have your cunt on his face again after weeks, months? of just having his fist to work with. His fist and a used pair of your panties up to his nose like a pervert, hips humping the air in desperation. Imagining that it was your tongue flicking across his leaking tip instead of his thumb, that it was your soft hands in exchange of his rough ones. And as easy as it was for him to get laid—he didn't want to be with anyone that wasn't you.

Toji hadn't tasted someone as sweet as you, heard someone so angelic before, but now he supposed that maybe he'd have to put that theory to the test if you left him after all. Just the idea was maddening. That someone else would be doing the same thing that he's doing to you now, that they'd give you the affection that he should've given.

"Especially sorry to you. Been neglecting you for too long," he hooked his fingers around the side of your panties, pulling them to the side just enough to reveal your slick folds to him. Toji swiped the tip of his finger along your entrance, your slick glistening against the harsh kitchen lighting before he stuck in his mouth. Swirling his tongue around it, licking away at it like the slut he was.

And like the deprived man that he'd been, Toji's hands went to the lace of your underwear and stretched it out until a loud rip echoed throughout the kitchen. "You always this wet for people you hate? Or is that just for me?" Toji taunted, pushing your tattered panties down to your ankles. Finally leaning in closer to where you were aching for him to touch you. To do something other than just tease you relentlessly.

Toji settled on his knees behind you, spreading your legs open like you were his favorite meal. His tongue swiped up on your dripping cunt, licking up your essence with sheer greed. "Mmph fuck, so good," his words came out muffled, his tongue swiping across your folds before darting inside of your cunt. Your grip on the table tightened, your hips working on their own accord to push back onto his face. Practically suffocating him in your pussy. Not that he minded. By any means.

Toji practically welcomed it, his hands pushing you down onto his face. Getting absorbed in your cunt completely. "A-Ah fuck, Toji!" You could already see the noise complaint hanging on your front door first thing in the morning. But how could you be expected to keep your voice down? Toji spread your folds apart with two fingers as if he were preparing for a feast, his tongue feverishly licking in between.

"Fuckin' soaked already, knew you loved me," The vibration of the low chuckle that followed his words shot currents up your spine, your ass jiggling all that much more in his face. With such a decadent taste coating his taste buds, dying by your pussy would be nothing short of a blissful way to go out. One of the fingers that he'd been using to spread your folds had been pushed inside of your cunt, your walls clenching around him.

Toji's tongue flicked against your clit, swirling the tip around the bud while his finger slowly pushed further inside of you. The loud squelch of your cunt was the only thing that filled the apartment, everything else completely silent. Your fingers dug deeper into his scalp, a low groan leaving his lips. "F-Fuck, Toji Toji," he pushed another thick finger inside, moving them in a scissoring motion to stretch you out.

"You think y're gonna find someone who can do this?" Toji looked up at you, his fingers curling up to hit that spongy spot inside of you almost perfectly. And if you didn't know any better, you'd almost say that he looked vulnerable while he made the question. Toji's lips wrapped around your clit, gently sucking on it as his fingers worked you closer and closer to your orgasm. You couldn't bring yourself to answer—didn't trust yourself to speak.

"Toji, Toji, gonna cum," you gave him a warning, your jaw falling slack and your lips parting in a o-shape. Soundless moans leaving your lips, feeling that coil in your lower tummy start to tighten up all the much more. With one final pump of his fingers, you were covering his lips with your release. His tongue swiped across his lips, across the scar that he hated, collecting every drop. Savoring what he imagined would be the last taste of you.

"Turn around," It was almost embarrassing how quickly you'd turned around per your soon-to-be ex husband's request.

Toji didn't take more than a couple seconds in unbuttoning his pants and taking them off, his cock hitting his stomach once it was released from its confines. Precum dribbled from his annoyingly almost pretty pink tip, dripping onto the floor. Drip. Drip. Drip. His cock slid through your folds like a slip n slide, your previous orgasm coating his tip with every lazy drag. "Toji," your voice bordered on a whine, pushing your hips to try to meet his movements.

"Tell me what you want," Toji clicked his tongue, one of his hands moving to hold your waist. Keeping you completely still until he got what he wanted. You figured there wasn't any harm in whining—you were already fucking the man after you brought up a divorce. There truly wasn't that much more to lose. "Why do I have to ask for it when you're the one apologizing?"

"Because you're the one pushing your hips back against me. All needy 'n shit. So.. beg."

"Want you inside me, Toji. Please."

"Want?"

You let out a huff before correcting yourself, "Need."

"Come on, doll. You can say it nicer than that, right?" Toji's pointer trailed up your torso, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

So goddamn annoying. You swallowed whatever pride you had left before looking back over at him, "Please, Toji. Need your cock in me. Please."

Toji clicked his tongue, one hand wrapping around his cock and giving himself a couple tentative pumps. "Think you can beg better than that. But since I'm feeling nice, I guess I'll let it slide." So much for feeling apologetic. Toji pushed his cock inside of you in one swift motion, a hiss leaving your lips at the stretch. Even with the fingers that'd been inside of you, nothing could've really prepared you.

"You okay?" Toji dropped his head to rest on your shoulder, whispering the words in your ear. Staying still while your walls tried to adjust to the overwhelming stretch. "You try taking your cock," you muttered dryly, giving him a nod to start moving. "Why would I do that when you take it so well?" Toji pushed the rest of his cock inside, his hands resting on your hips.

Toji wasn't particularly known for being gentle—the one hospital visit after he'd injured your cervix more than enough proof of that, but he started off slow. Slow, shallow thrusts. Fucking you in a way that he hasn't since your honeymoon. "Toji, you can speed up," you assured him, your words getting cut off with a smack to your ass. "What I'd say about tellin' me what to do?" Ah, there was the mean Toji that you recognized.

"Wouldn't need to tell you what to do if my vibrator wasn't looking more appealing right now."

Famous last words.

The change was almost immediate. Mascara dribbled down your cheeks, the sight of your once composed makeup all ruined making Toji's cock twitch inside of you. "Fucking pretty like this, y'know?" His teeth sunk down on the junction of your shoulder, his teeth grazing across the sensitive flesh. His hips snapped roughly into yours, your breathing growing erratic. "Fuck, Fuck, Toji!"

The coldness of his gold wedding band hit your skin as soon as he went to grip your hips, holding you against him like he needed to be close to you. The two of you had been distant for some time and he hadn't bothered to take off his wedding band once, not even on the rare occasion that he actually did happen to take a job. Toji would never admit it, of course—but he was starved for the feeling of your skin against his own.

To confirm that you were still here after all.

Your hands reached out to grab to whatever you could grab—anything, and of course, it just happened to be the divorce papers sitting on the middle of the table. Practically taunting you as your own signature glared back at you. "This good enough for you, princess?" Toji taunted in your ear, his blunt fingernails digging into your sides. "Mhm, j-just like that," your voice came out in a mewl, all bits of defiance completely out of your system.

"There you go. Nasty fucking girl," Toji all but purred in your ear the moment you started to jerk your hips back to meet his own, your ass bouncing with each one of his thrusts. "Just needed Toji to take care of ya," all you could was nod your head fervently, your grip on the divorce papers tightening. And Toji, of course, took notice. He took the papers from you with one hand, giving them a once-over before passing them back over.

"Come on, since ya wanted it so bad, read me those divorce papers," Toji handed you the stack of papers, pointing to where you'd signed your initials just a couple hours prior. Your hands shook as you held the papers, your vision blurry as you tried to make out the legal jargon in front of you. Even the simplest of words seemed all too complicated to try to make out.

"T-Toji, I can't," your voice cracked, your grip on the papers tightening when his cock reached all that much deeper inside of you. Toji clicked his tongue, peering over your shoulder to read the first sentence from the document. "That's not what it says ma, try again."

"Without all the stuttering too."

You took a deep breath, willing yourself to focus on the words in front of you instead of Toji's cock sinking further and further into you. "S-Says that the divorce agreement was made today between us," you clutched the sheets tighter, your eyes almost rolling back when Toji bottomed out inside of you. The tip of his cock dripping precum, your walls fluttering as you tried to get adjusted.

"Mm, yeah, keep goin'," Toji really couldn't care—his focus solely on the way that your cunt stretched out to fit his cock. Leaking around his shaft, loud squelches when he pulled out overplaying whatever shitty soap opera was playing. "And what'd I say about the s-stuttering?" Toji mocked your words, his own hips stuttering mere seconds later while he tried not to get absorbed in your cunt. Not that it was an easy task by any means.

It was hard, especially with the way that you claimed to be over this marriage despite your pussy claiming otherwise. When you opened your mouth to speak, the only thing that left you was a moan. "F-Fuck Toji, right there," your eyes shut tightly at the touch of his calloused hand making itself in between your legs, his thumb rubbing at your clit in a speed that felt like it combated his own running abilities.

"That's not what it says, c'mon," Toji grabbed your chin with his thumb and pointer, turning your head to face the overwhelmingly long divorce papers. You wouldn't finish tonight if he intended for you to read the whole thing, you knew that much. A harsh slap against your swollen clit made the pleasure coursing through your veins mix with pain, a shaky gasp leaving your kiss-swollen lips.

Drool leaked from the corner of your mouth, the black ink smearing with each drop that fell from your parted lips. Your walls enveloped every inch of his cock perfectly, your cunt holding his cock in a vice-like grip. "That I won't try to t-take your things," you managed to get out, hoping that it would be good enough. You knew the two of you wouldn't finish today if he made you read the never ending stack of papers. 

"Good enough," Toji sounded like he would've kept it going if he could, but you set them down as quickly as he spoke. It was almost like Toji was trying to remind you of why you'd fallen in love with him in the first place—the man reverent to your cunt and your cunt only. Every grip of your hips kept you closer and closer to his body, almost as a way for Toji to make sure you weren't slipping away.

"Wh—" Before you had the chance to complain about the loss of contact, Toji had already carried you without a smidge of struggle. His hands hooked underneath your plush thighs, hoisting you up against the wall. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his slutty waist, practically clinging onto him like a koala. "There we go, there's that pretty lil face," Toji placed his pointer underneath your chin, taking in the view in front of him.

The glazed over look in your eyes, the sweat beading up on your forehead, the makeup that he'd successfully ruined—everything about you was just so beautiful. How you tried to avoid looking in his direction for too long. "Don't leave me ma, need you in my life," the words were whispered into your ear, his cock pushing back inside of you in one swift motion. Toji's fingers went back to your throbbing clit, his pointer and middle rubbing against it at the perfect speed.

Not too fast, not too slow, and not too rough.

"Don't ask me to do that," you almost sounded pained as you spoke—not from him filling you up, but for the implication of his words. You'd practically babble anything right now, anything for him to keep going. To forget about the reality that awaits the two of you. Toji's lips found yours in an instant, the exchange between the two of you almost depraved. His mouth was feverish in the way that it moved against yours, like he'd never get the chance again.

Your hand went to the back of his head, pushing him closer against you. Letting yourself forget for just a little while longer. A string of saliva connected your lips to his when you pulled away—only to catch air. "I’m close, Toji, so close," you whined against his lips, your release coating his shaft a mere moments later. Toji only used that as lubricant, his movements quicker against your cunt to chase his own release.

"There's no one else for me, I'll stop goin' to t-the casino, stop gettin' into trouble," Toji had been reduced to a babbling the first thing he pulled out of his ass, if only to get you to stay. His head rested against the junction of your neck, basking in the remnants of proximity that he could get. Shaky breaths left his lips with each thrust of his hips, feeling himself getting closer and closer. "You've been saying that since we've been married."

"I mean it this time, I promise," you'd never heard a lie sound so pretty slipping from someone's lips before until now.

He bit down on the side of your neck, hard. Not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to where you'd probably have to use a tube of concealer to even attempt to cover up the bruising mark. Causing you problems even now. But you'd be lying if the sudden act of possessiveness had your walls clenching against him even tighter, if that was even possible anymore.

His cock was barely moving against the tight grip you held around his shaft, his pace stuttering. "Fuck, fuck, so tight," Toji let out a loud groan, completely at the will of your pussy. He threw his head back, a light shade of pink dusting his cheeks in this lighting. Ropes and ropes of cum decorated your cunt, his softening length snug inside of you. Toji ended up pulling out a couple moments later, scooping the drops of cum that leaked down your thighs with his finger.

Toji was shameless in the way that he stuck the finger in his mouth, a low moan leaving his lips at the combined taste of him and you. Before your rationality came back, before you got the chance to even think about regretting this, you leaned in and crashed your lips against his own. Tasting yourself on his tongue. The kiss lingered between the two of you more than it needed to, it was less rushed than the prior ones you'd shared.

Like a last taste.

"So, you still want to get that divorce?" Toji knew you would've just babbled whatever for him to keep going, saving the question until now. His movements were almost reluctant as he pulled his pants over his legs once again, making little attempt to fix up his hair. If anything, his fingers only ended up messing the strands even more. Despite knowing the answer deep down, Toji still held out hope. That maybe you'd had some eye-opening moment while he was balls-deep.

You stood up properly, looking over at the ruined sheets on the table before looking back over at him. "I do," you spoke after a couple seconds, grabbing your tattered panties from the floor and smoothing over your dress. Trying to maintain whatever semblance of dignity you had left. Even if it was probably just as tattered up as your underwear at this point.

"Why? You know I love you. You know that you love me. So why should we get separated?" You did know that. But you also weren't sure that he'd ever loved you enough to consider changing. To consider the fact that you needed some sort of affection outside of sex.

"Because you think that somehow every problem between us can be resolved with sex. You say that you want to do better and yet, you never do. It doesn't even feel like you're my husband half of the time," all the bottled up feelings from the past couple months spilled out of you in a manner of seconds. All the bottled up thoughts that maybe you should've told your husband about earlier. Though, you weren't even sure if Toji would've paid it any mind.

And almost as if he'd read your train of thought, "Why didn't you tell me about all this before just hittin' me with divorce papers?"

"Because the few times that I did, you told me to stop bitching. That I shouldn't have anything to complain about with a roof over my head and a fridge full of food," you started off, almost waiting for him to deny what you were saying, "And while I'm not saying that I'm not thankful for those things, I also don't want to feel ungrateful for saying that I miss my husband."

Silence lingered between the two of you, each second that passed by only confirming what the two of you already knew by now. That a divorce wasn't such a far-fetched idea. Toji knew there wasn't left to even attempt fighting for, so he simply just told you, "I'll sign 'em when you get the new ones."

[cranberrv]

⪩⪨ dating johnny cade headcanons

a/n : i hate this, i’m so sorry this took me all of 15 minutes but i needed to post something !!!!! maybe ill make a better version sometime, stay tuned <3 requests open btw (not proofread not proofread ignore any mistakes lovely)

- you’re his saviour

- you know the saying, ‘when you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light?’

- you’re his light

- if he’s having a bad day or his parents have kicked him out again, guess who he’s going to?

- not even to talk about it, just to be surrounded by this warmth that makes him forget about all his problems

- unlike dallas, he loves hugs and cuddling all. the. time.

- well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. he hates cuddling in front of the gang. the gang will just tease him but his relationship with you is something he doesn’t wanna be teased about

- he doesn’t like big gestures

- he’s not the type to write you a poem (ponyboy cough cough) and he’s not the type to buy you cliche gifts like chocolate and flowers

- he does things that mean something, like a necklace with your favourite flower on it, a shirt of a band you two like listening to together

- one of his favourite pastimes is listening to music w you actually!

- i like to think johnny really likes music, like elvis and van morrison

- he’ll always buy new cassettes to listen to with you

- he wishes he could take you to concerts, but he’s too broke for that :(

- ugh i should probably move on but imagine spooning with johnny on your bed listening to music that’s adorable

- if he sees you laughing with a guy he doesn’t know or trust, he’ll feel a mix of jealous and insecure

- he doesn’t act on his jealousy, he just patiently waits until it’s his turn to talk to you

- if you bring up that he’s acting up, he’s not gonna talk about it, denying it

- “nah man idk what you mean, im fine”

- you guys argue occasionally, but only about things that really matter

- he doesn’t want you talking to socs, or you don’t want him to live with his parents anymore

- it’s a reasonable and patient conversation over an argument in his mind

- he has never made you cry and never will, or else he’ll cry

- sitting in the lot gazing up at the stars is his idea of a date. pointing out the moon and making a wish on the first star. smoking cigarettes and sitting back on the cheap fabric of some old thrown-out furniture

- him wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer to him, the two of you falling asleep under the stars

- sometimes you’ll catch him just staring at you. not in a creepy or weird way, just admiring.

- noticing his shoulders relax when he’s in a poor mood but then suddenly you come around is your favourite feeling

- he makes you feel so special, like you’re worth a million bucks

- he practically worships the ground you walk on (and vice versa!)

- puppy love

- you two like each other soooo much and it’s so obvious

- sometimes he gets a little insecure around the gang or socs, not being all mushy (not like he usually is anyway)

- he’s usually more reserved, saving the cuddling and gifts for alone time

- anyway you two are in love probably and it’s really cute

- sorry lovely this was rly rushed :( ill post a better version soon 💋

[grimmcheems]

🗣️Rize, they could never make me hate you🗣️😭🖤🎀

I actually love her so much. Rize did not deserve a lot of the things that happened to her😔 I haven’t completely finished the manga and don’t want to bc the ending is kinda meh and I do not want to see the nastiness that comes from Furuta towards Rize. Like bro is actually so crazy, I do not blame her for the way she turned out, she was rly going through it.

⚠️spoilers below⚠️

On another note, It’s interesting thinking back on Kaneki as a character after these past couple yrs and how his apathetic personality that came out later on in the series may have been how he actually thought and would’ve acted if he wasn’t always trying to put up appearances. I never thought about his personality evolution like that until I saw a theory about it and how it could have been a result of his abuse and it’s just so cool to think about. That mixed with his unresolved feelings toward Rize after the aogiri arc was fascinating.

As I made this I imagined an AU or universe in which Kaneki understood and fully accepted Rize for who she was after he met her again and finding out she was alive the whole time and being tortured. Idk. Something about that situation rly had an impact on me when I read it in the manga and I always wished the two had more time together and got to know each other. Rize has always been a part of Kaneki since the start of the series so it would’ve been interesting to actually see her as her own person and what she may have been like instead of only having an image of her throughout the experiences everyone else has had with her. I always hated that aspect of the manga, that we never really know who she is or ever find out her own personal desires and goals.

Whenever I think of those two specific versions of them I think they may have been like a found family in which they sort of adopt a sibling relationship. That would’ve been so interesting. Kaneki has always been alone for the most part so I like to think having Rize as an older sister would’ve helped him out a lot.

Other than that there was also another scenario I thought of in which Kaneki has had no contact with her until one of the final arcs with their dragon forms, he sort of then can understand why she is how she is after learning about her history throughout the story and tries to connect with her. Hence the angsty sketch in the corner. I’d like to think Kaneki would help her take out those who have wronged her and put her in her current position. Afterwards is when they’d form a closer relationship and maybe she’d be like an aunt or older sister figure to both Kaneki and Touka since they’re together and Touka never rly liked her that much at the start. I think that’d be funny.

[bsdawgz]

「 ✦ Cruel ✦ 」 Bungo Stray Dogs, Port Mafia: Dazai Osamu

a/n: follow-up from this fic, i hope i did ok! i really like writing pm dazai... also i wanna thank everyone who has followed me/liked/reblogged my posts. i really didn't expect to get any attention at all, so it means so much to me T_T and i will def get to writing ab the other characters soon~

genre: angst. so much of it. and the nasty.

content warning: f!reader. unrequited(-ish) feelings (but not rly). toxic ass relationship (like, RLY unhealthy), dependent relationship... i hope you don't find MC deplorable because personally i find her real af

MDNI! rough sex, choking, fingering, degradation both from dazai and self (bitch, slut), humiliation, trauma, bj (facefucking). dazai is rly rough with main character and not very communicative beforehand, but he checks up on character during. sex is consensual, but main character continues to force herself to do things she doesn't want to for the sake of wanting to please dazai (there is no pressure or coercion involved on dazai's part, to clear that up). if there's anything else you think i should add, please let me know.

summary: after failing to stop sleeping with the port mafia executive, dazai osamu, despite your unrequited feelings, you've come to terms with the fact that you can't bring yourself to leave him behind. but dazai's determined to show you there's nothing in him worth fighting for.

this place is all too familiar to you.

you’re bent over dazai’s desk and he’s towering over you from behind, pressed up against your body. there’s a haughty grin on his lips as he’s rucking up your skirt, grabbing your ass roughly and making you wonder when you began wearing short skirts all the time, if you’ve started doing it for the sake of easy access. after all, how many times in the past year that you’ve known this man has dazai actually taken the time to properly get you out of your clothes before fucking you, let alone gotten completely undressed for you himself? you could probably count it on one hand.

the thought makes you feel somewhat ashamed, knowing that you’re having routine sex with someone who won’t often do something as simple as strip naked for you. somehow the simple act of undressing feels all the more intimate, which makes you feel all the more distant from dazai, making him feel that much more removed in these fleeting moments you share. but of course, you don’t dare to mention it to him – not now, not ever. just let dazai’s hands roam where they wish, because more than anything, you want to please him. more than anything, you just want him to want you – whatever that might mean.

the last time you saw dazai, you had resolved to leave him for good, determining that your relationship was going nowhere. you were well-aware that dazai was only using you for sex, and that you were in the throes of an unrequited love with one of the most dangerous men in yokohama. but staving yourself off of a man like dazai, who could bring you in and out of heaven, was like trying to quit an addiction. you’ve never found yourself more attached to anyone in your life. it wasn’t long until you found yourself sleeping in his bed again. it was futile trying to fight it now.

“i said to look me in the eyes.” vicious words interrupt your thoughts, followed by an exasperated mutter of, “stupid bitch,” as you feel a few light slaps on your cheek. hands that once traveled up your skin so gently, caressing you and handling you like a fragile object, are now grabbing your neck and squeezing its sides, forcing you to meet his arrogant gaze. this is a different dazai than the one you know, a more cruel, more callous one. “ah, there’s my good girl,” he whispers coldly with a smirk, your jaw caught in his slender fingers as you now properly meet his gaze. “now, open your mouth for me… good. see how much prettier you are when you shut up and stop asking so many questions?”

he slips his thumb into your mouth, wetting it with your tongue before swiping your own saliva across your puckered lips.  “good… suck my fingers like the slut you are,” dazai murmurs erotically into your ear, his hot breath tickling your neck as he dips his fingers in and out of your mouth.  “this is what you want, right? what you keep coming back for.”

his words are mean tonight, like he’s punishing you for trying to get too close to him. vengeful, almost. although it’s quite typical of him to get impatient and even indifferent, dazai’s not the type to bring this kind of demeanor into the bedroom… at least, he’s never shown this side of himself before. but tonight he is more than determined to bare it all to you, to show you what he is really made of – and teach you to stay away from him, for good.

as he looks into your big, trusting eyes, which have never gazed at him with malice, he bitterly reflects on his decision. the vastness of those eyes of yours have never held anything but pure intentions and righteousness. they represent everything that he is not… and they hold the same values that got odasaku killed. you are a mere civilian who threw herself into the port mafia’s radar by sleeping with one of its infamous executives. at this point, your name has snaked its way into the mouth of dazai’s underlings; his enemies have readied themselves at your door. dazai was selfish to think he can keep you all to himself, his precious little treasure.

this was bound to happen, anyway. better that it ends now.

before you fool yourself into thinking a man like him can amount to anything more than a killer.

before your hands get soiled with blood.

before you’re shot dead…

… and before he’s convinced himself that he has a right to any of this. a right to see you, a right to hold you, a right to one day love you.

that’s why tonight, he’ll push you to your limits until you cry out in pain and pleasure; and when you’ve had enough of him and tell him to stop, he’ll leave wordlessly and never return, so you’re left only with the memory of his callousness and utter disregard for you.

gazing into the expectant eyes that are staring into his, dazai hikes his hands up your shirt to palm your breasts only to be surprised to feel nothing but bare skin. “no bra? you really are a slut, huh?” he shakes his head with a dry laugh as he tugs your shirt over your head, discarding the article of clothing on the floor. “always so desperate to be fucked.” nipples hardening at the brush of his hand, you bite back a sinful moan as he teases you with fleeting touches that send pulses to your core. the sight of you so vulnerable in his arms makes him hard; you feel his erection pressing into your back as he plays with your nipples. before you know it, those beautiful fingers of his are reaching for where you want him most – between your thighs, pushing aside your panties and sliding between your slickness.

he gasps mockingly as if he’s surprised you’re wet for him, an arrogant smirk forming on his lips. his hands know you well, his fingers finding the spot that makes you feel the best and rubbing in agonizingly slow circles. you can’t help but let his name roll off your tongue and let him know who you belong to, a quiet prayer on your tongue. succumbing to his touch so easily feels almost like a sin, but if it’s dazai, you’d do it in a heartbeat every time. even if it meant going to hell for it.

intoxicated by his cologne and blinded by his touch, when you feel his lips traversing your neck, you’re thinking to yourself like a fool: yes, this is how it should be. dazai’s awfully gentle now. this is how it should always be. you’re starved for him, begging for him to want you.

begging for him to love you.

but this man will never love you.

because this man is the devil.

“get on your knees, pretty girl.” there are those sweet words of his – ‘pretty girl.’ that term of endearment that he’s whispered affectionately against against your neck when his arms are wrapped around your waist at night, when it’s too dark to head home and you find yourself tangled under the sheets until daytime – those words that have confused you, that have left your brain a muddled mess, that offered you a glimpse into the gentleness that could be. tonight, there’s not a trace of kindness in his unyielding voice – nothing to confuse for kindness. his hands are rough, reckless. tossing you over, he faces you with a look that’s condescending and rotten. “get on your knees, and remind me why i keep you around in the first place.”

you’ll take it.

you’ll take it all –

– even if he’s hitting the back of your throat and gripping your hair so tightly that you can barely breathe, that tears are welling in your eyes, that you’re choking on him. you can hardly keep up with his pace, hands clawing at the floor in a desperate attempt to steady yourself. you’re a distraught mess, lips swollen from his shoving himself into you, saliva dribbling down your chin, an undignified whore. but you’ll take it. you’ll take it all, if that’s what it takes to keep him even for a moment more. you’ll squash the feeling that this is so, so wrong, the awareness that he’s fucking you like an object, the knowledge that you’re nothing but a piece of meat to him.

if that’s what it takes to keep him, even if just for a little longer –

– you’ll take it all.

but when he sees those tear-stained eyes of yours, he just can’t bring himself to do it anymore. he pulls out of your mouth completely, leaving you coughing uncontrollably and desperately gasping for breath. a wave of guilt washes over him, knowing that he put you in this condition in the first place. “come here,” he says harshly, trying to keep up his façade as his fingers dig deep into the flesh of your hips. he tosses you onto the bed, the spring mattress squeaking under your weight, then you feel his body against yours from behind as he covers your eyes with one large hand until you see nothing but black. “don’t tell me you still like this?” he asks in a serious tone. he’s so close to you that you can hear his soft pants against your neck, feel the heat radiating from his skin; he must still be worn out from before.

but you say nothing, nothing at all, your lips sealed in a tight line.

he scoffs at your silence, his grip on your body loosening. “use your words. aren’t you going to tell me to stop?”

you turn to look at him, and your gaze finally meets his once more. your eyes are clouded with tears, your cheeks flushed, your lips trembling. but your eyes are unwavering. that grotesque look that he just can’t stand – those big eyes, still full of devotion, unconditional resolve. eyes that are full of nothing but righteousness. he’s the source of your pain, and yet you look at him with nothing but kindness. you look at him as though he can offer you some sort of salvation —

but this man can’t even save you from himself.

“i’m… i’m not.” your voice is meek, a sob escaping you.

you find your body shaking frantically, suddenly hyper-aware of your nakedness and the fact that dazai’s practically completely clothed.

he takes a seat next to you on the bed and wraps a blanket around you, deep brown irises staring into your eyes dubiously, as though he can’t believe a word that you’re saying. then, reaching out to cradle your face gently in his hand, he strokes your cheek with his thumb. his tender caress makes you sick to your stomach and you feel bile rising in your throat – you wish he would go back to fucking you senselessly and calling you names, if only just to make this cruel fantasy go away.

“don’t touch me like that anymore!” you suddenly blurt out of spite, shoving dazai away angrily. “don’t you know how confusing you’re being right now?” you cover your face in your hands like a child just to keep him from seeing you break down, as if you could possibly hide your stifled cries and the tears streaming down your stained cheeks.

“i see,” he says in a quiet voice, hesitating as he retracts his hand. there’s a grimace on his face as he withholds his words, resisting the urge to say something, anything, to ease the pain. but he knows there’s nothing he could say to take back all that’s been done. a tension hangs in the air, disrupted only by the sound of your shaky breath as you heave into the palms of your hands, pressed firmly over your mouth to silence your heartbroken cries. bending over in pain, there’s an empty pit in your chest as you crawl into his lap like a kicked-down dog. dazai makes no movement to get up, just lets you fall against him and hums softly to comfort you, stroking the tendrils of your hair like a wandering ghost.

when your tears finally subside, leaving nothing but your shattered memories, you glance up at him only to find he’s been gazing at you the whole time. on his face, there was a pained expression. something like regret for the past, or maybe even the future.

he looked as though he had been crying, too.

(c) BSDAWGZ Don't steal or plaigarize cos that's mean... and if you enjoyed the fic, please share! Remember, likes don't share my work, reblogs do! ^^~ Beautiful dividers by @ v6que~!

[ritsufeet]

stay with me.

longing [ ft. m. kaiser ]

i don’t want u to leave… in which kaiser longs for you more than he thought he would.

k by cigarettes after sex heavily recommend to listen to while reading!!

all works from luvmouche & ritsufeet on tumblr.

𒁷 sfw, (forced to) made for ivelle (@n6gi)

𒁷 cw// hurt comfort(?), kaiser is too busy for u (dickhead), but it gets better i think, mutual longing, kissing smooch smooch, umm idk what else, kaiser tw🤓, “m” is his nickname given by the reader, rly short fic btw, slightly ooc kaiser but yk what idc!

i made this for ivelle this is literally yhe only bllk fic ill ever make (maybe) also i dont even like kaiser (kurona bwtter) i originally made this in my notes app i had to decide whether or not i eveb wanted to post this on tumblrHelp

synopsis: michael kaiser is a cruel, busy man—yet he finds himself pining for your warmth more than he expected.

not proofread!!!

kaiser, michael

your boyfriend, michael kaiser, who’s a famous, up and coming athlete, never has any time for you.

“i’m leaving, i have a meeting today.” he says, hurriedly pushing his shoes on with heavy sighs. you look at him and frown, “again? m, you never have any time for me anymore…”

“i know, but i’ll make it up to you, i promise. just not today, i’m busy.” he huffs, frowning right back at you, his blonde hair sways messily in front of his face and his fingers coming up to brush them up and out of the way again. you frown deepens and you sigh.

he looks up at you, his eyebrows furrowed. “what? what’s wrong with you?” his question only makes you sadder.

“can’t you stay?”

“no, i can’t. you know this. i said i’d make it up to you, didn’t i? trust my word.” you know this, you already know… but you can’t help but already begin to miss him.

he’s often gone for long hours, sometimes it’s more than just hours. it’s hard loving him when he’s absent majority of the time, and when he’s not gone, he’s doing something else that doesn’t involve spending time with you. what could be so important, anyway? of course, you love him, you love his career and support him with everything you can, but he could at least love you a little back.

you slowly walk over to him when he’s finished putting on his shoes. he looks at you with soft eyes, a face that he doesn’t show often. vulnerability that doesn’t come easily to him, something he only shows to you. “i’m sorry,” he says, his hand cupping your cheek. you relish in his touch, leaning into his palm. “i really wish i could stay too. you know that as well as i do.” he caresses your cheek, sliding his thumb over your skin.

“i get it… you should go, you don’t want to be late, right?” you look at him giving a reassuring smile. “i’ll be here, like i always am.” his heart aches as those words leave you, and the urge washes over him. he brings himself to your lips and kisses you—sweet, quick, and loving. he lets himself linger there for as long as he needs to. he doesn’t want to be late, yet he finds himself not wanting to move a single inch away from you. he wants to stay, wants to be here with you and the comfort of your kisses.

you pull away instead, you put your hand right above his—the one caressing your cheek so gently and longingly that you fear that it’d break his heart if he tore it away—and squeeze it. his face is solemn, his gaze wavering. he’s staring at you, but he looks away, as if hesitant to say anything. then, he looks at you again, and purses his lips. “..i love you.” your reassuring smile turns into a genuine one. “i love you too, m.”

he pulls you into a hug, holding you longer than just a few seconds, and he can hear himself the moment he decided to just go ‘ah, fuck it.’ a barely audible chuckle comes from his voice leaving you wondering what’s so funny.

“on second thought, i don’t think they’ll mind if i miss a day or two.” he says, smiling.

a/n: i hope ur happy ivelle. k bye im tired fuckkk

[yamsgarden]

looong Tales of Symphonia and Tales of Vesperia rambling incoming:

I was chatting with my buddy about Tales of Vesperia and Tales of Symphonia and idk by what miracle this could ever happen, but I truly wish someday Bandai Namco could make a TRUE remake of Tales of Symphonia but with Tales of Vesperia's cel shade graphics

Because so far, all "remakes" are just more or less good ports from what I read/ saw? And TOV still holds up to this day, even 20+ years after even if the animation is a liiiittle stiff it' still works, but yeah TOS could really have a fantstic revamp

I want her so bad to experiement this journey too, but I totally get it that the graphics are a turn off... Which is also so sad because to me they still feel cute and I grew up with them OTL

idk... I understand TOS isn't necessarily the most insane RPG out there, same with Baten Kaitos but they have their own identity and amazing writting and complex stories and charming characters aaa even 20+ years later and I still hold these games in my heart and still listen to their OST, it really feels like magic

It's not like today where you have to constantly play daily for grinding or worry about being tempted to buy micro items in the shop with real money, it was a one time payment and one shot story and had an end... And that's what made it great too imo... if that makes sense, idk what I'm saying anymore, I guess I just miss so much how things used to be haha

Where games had more soul and personnality and passion behind it and ofc you still have that today but i feel it's... Rarer and back then I feel it was still experimental but that's what made it so great, now there are so many copy cats and it feels like a race to which one can be the next lottery... and I know they're all companies BUT LIKE at least I could feel my money was well spent you know?!

Now it's feels like, "we have your money AND you have shitty rushed half-baked product, you're welcome"

If only Llyod could have made it into Super Smash Bros Melee at the time, I feel it could have helped the Tales of popularity even more OTL I remember reading somewhere he was considered to be added to the roaster but maybe it was rumors too... But the thought of it is so cool. I rly don't think it's for nothing TOV and TOS keep getting so high in popularity polls when it comes to general Tales Of games, those two are really memroable and beautiful.

TOS almost feels like the blueprint for TOV to me, so they are very similar but different enough as well. I must have played TOS on my gamecube at least 10 times in my whole life and everytime my gameplay reaches 60h-80h+hours, it's just so much fun everytime

aaa but yeah.. all that to say I just wish it could get the remake of a lifetime so more poeple could experiment it too OTL I don't think it'll ever happen but yeah.... If only if only if only...

and lowkey so i would have more poeple to talk and gush about it.

[x-birdsong-x]

could you please tell me more about Adams and her parents? is that headcanons or is there stuff in the show i missed? since she and the show are adamant (ha) that her parents were Good and Normal i never rly thought about it, but your reading is much more compelling

The show is adamant that Adams' parents are terrible. Runaways' existence tells us her parents are terrible. Parents' ending tells us her parents are terrible. In a more overanalyzing way, Risky Business' ending tells us her parents are terrible. Adams is convinced her parents were not the problem and the show is adamant that's not right.

Starting with the ending of Parents:

I don't care what way this is twisted, "the only evidence you have is proof of something else" / "it took my parents years to get over it" / this entire situation is so massively fucked up. She was sixteen. She was the child. I don't care if she HAD just been acting out (which Runaways confirms was not the case). Sixteen-year-old Adams running away and getting into a worse situation that is confusing and traumatic all on its own only to be driven to choosing the lesser of two evils and going back home is fucked up. Her parents spending the rest of her life telling her she did a bad thing and needs to make up for/earn forgiveness for this when they are the ones that made her finally snap is fucked up.

House's tone at "you envied their dysfunction?" is closer to "you're really going with that?" than it is "lol that's weird." That whole half of that explanation comes across as parents who didn't give a shit making more sense to a kid hearing about that from the outside than parents who switch from hot to cold/don't listen to a word she says and consistently claim to care and listen while constantly making her feel and doing the opposite.

When House starts off poking her with a stick about this before he eventually backs off, there's this at the start:

When House asks her to stay behind in his office before he brings up what he's found out, Adams braces herself to snap back at whatever he's going to say after a moment of "oh shit what did I do wrong" . I wish I could gif.

House backs off with Adams in a way he usually doesn't. He realizes his usual approach isn't working and stops and waits for her to come to him - after the one time she near-successfully lies to him or Chase is when she's lying about her family.

And she does go to him, at the end. Only when she has the chance to tell him He's Wrong, it was All Her Fault.

This always comes back around to the fact she was a child. She was sixteen. It doesn't matter HOW irrational it might've been, her parents treating her the way they did/do after is disgusting. Whether Adams would've said anything about where she went or not, you'd think if your daughter went missing for two months and suddenly returned, you'd just be happy that she's alive. Being the reason she throws herself into work as soon as she's back at school to keep you semi-happier when she left because of something you did and just spent two fucking months in a situation even worse and equally suddenly ran away from that to escape it is fucked up.

Words of @greghatecrimes -

And now rambling about the entirety of Runaways... my beloved mess. I'm gonna skip every bit of rabid whining I can do about the irrelevant subplots in Someone Else's Episode and the fucked day/night cycle and the seemingly cut/skipped over scenes being genuinely important and the OOC issues for everyone else and just talk about my girls.

Callie's one of the two most developed patients in the season. Adams and Callie are one of the most thoroughly fitting patient-protag matchups in the entire show. Each of our protags can to varying levels be held up to Callie like paint swatches.

Callie at sixteen reached a breaking point with her family and ran away, got into (for her personally) a better situation, and then runs away again to get out of the hospital when the chance of being sent back home comes with it. // Adams at sixteen reached a breaking point with her family and ran away, got into an even worse situation, and then ran away from that to get out of it when going back home became the clear better(safer) option.

Runaways opens with Callie in the clinic. House reads her like a book within minutes and he gathered this exact theory about her before he said it out loud (including immediately knowing that the older man she's here with is not her parent and getting rid of him, not a thing can convince me Callie didn't make House think of Adams):

VS his first interactions with Adams in ep 1, especially this one - He's had this info for months now, he knows he's right:

Callie is stubborn, avoidant, short-tempered. She hates feeling like she's not being listened to. Callie latches onto Adams as her safe person very quickly after that first scene. She tells Adams more than she's ever told anyone else, looks for Adams' opinion specifically regardless of who else is in the room, trusts Adams more than she trusts anyone else despite some of the things she says. //// Adams is stubborn, avoidant, as reactive as a cornered feral cat. She can't stand feeling like she's not being listened to. She gets attached to House in ep 1 within a couple barely three-minute interactions. She's 100x more confident around him than she is with anyone else, listens to him better than she listens to her actual boss. She gets a note smuggled in after she was fired to tell him he was right. She comes to PPTH in ep3 believing he just wanted to talk and get a coffee and she stays. Will ramble about ep 4 later.

Callie puts on a bit of a show in her second scene to get Adams (& Taub) to back off, but more importantly:

A) Adams goes to talk here before Callie cuts her off, using her own experience as a "this is why it's not a good idea," but she's sugarcoating it completely compared to what she says at the end of Parents despite that. Adams knows the situation she was in when she ran away was a bad one, she's just convinced she put herself in it.

B) They assume the same thing about each other:

When Callie leaves at the end, knowing Adams never stayed away when she left home and instead went back to her family, they both see the other as a doomed version of themself.

There's some guilt sinking into Callie as the ep goes on once Ellen shows up. The scene she snaps at her and Ellen says she needs to think and Callie is struggling not to start crying is the vibe of both feeling like your parent isn't listening to you, being angry/hurt over that, and the guilt that comes with upsetting your mom. Adams in Parents hears the things House says about her family and doesn't agree with him. Callie hears the things Adams says about her family and doesn't agree with her (rightfully so).

It's a running thing with Adams that dialogue is meant to be turned back onto her - mostly in Runaways, but it starts in ep 1:

// "That's when you started to excel. You were making it up to them." This is the one time she reads House even mostly correctly.

// Your mom knows she did something bad/your mom knows she hurt you and made you leave. She swears she's not going to do it again. (Mom will do that thing again when you "make it too hard for her")

// You could at least let her in your room because she's worried about you. For the first time she is actually acting like she cares about you. (It's too late, she doesn't deserve the chance)

// Your daughter SHOULD hate you. You always seem to be the worst thing for her.

// She sees everything through guilt-colored glasses. Everything that happened is her fault. This one's less direct, in-context Ellen absolutely should be the one feeling guilty, but this is the sharpest House ever gets when confronting Adams about anything personal. He stops after that line, she stops as well, and after a beat he walks away to tell Ellen that she should leave, Callie is right to hate her.

// Adams only listens and turns back to hear her out when Ellen directly says she was a bad mother. This is also similar (the scene is even shot a similar way) to Rowan's scene with Chase in Cursed. Ellen calls herself a bad parent, but this is still a very "loving her keeps being about you" moment. And when we find out about that trip they took, Callie asks if she'd been using when they were there, so they took that trip after Callie's dad had died. Callie being dragged on a trip with a parent she doesn't really get along with when she's missing her dad is not very nice for the kid being forced on that trip.

Runaways says that Adams' parents did something to make her snap and run away. She was not just acting out. She shouldn't feel guilty the way she does, she doesn't owe them forgiveness for what they did, she should hate them.

// This is more Chase's scene for obvious reasons, but Adams wonders aloud if this patient who is in a place/behaves in a way it is fully expected he doesn't, ("I went through a rebellious phase"), understands he is troubling his family and intentionally tried running away because he has "become a burden to the people who love him."

The end of Risky Business does more for her relationship with her family than it does surface-level.

Adams has not spoken to anyone about this for a year. She freezes completely when House asks her if she's still angry and stays frozen until she takes the bat from him and even then it's not until he sits down that we see her moving in the reflection. It's Odette's expressions that drive me crazy here, but Adams spends this whole scene waiting for House to turn around and drop that he's not serious. She doesn't trust that he's really telling her to show any unfiltered emotion ("I went through a rebellious phase"), and pairing that with the fact she's so reactive and gets destructive when she's angry enough and hasn't talked about this for a year, she doesn't speak to her family. She avoids her family because she's always been Too Much or Not Enough.

Oh, and Adams' guilt is rooted in her mother. It's semi-reaching to say she hates her dad's guts, but Runaways is centered on her mother and given Callie's dad is dead (though she's said to have been closer to him) it removes that from Runaways' picture, but in ep 4 there's the moment the patient tells Adams she sounds like his daughter, and Adams hates this man.

I do have an insane amount of hyperdetailed/hyper-projecting headcanons for Adams. She's my little fidget toy to project on. But her parents are canonically awful. She carries so much guilt and desperation for absolution and is so convinced she was the problem and a burden to her family that she spends the entirety of a case where she sees a version of herself and goes this is how it has to be, this is what you need to do next. The only thing Adams owes her family is a fucking saw trap.

[narwhalandchill]

spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol

like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?

like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao

like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀

like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk

like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable

like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao

like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀

Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you

AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .

(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)

like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.

but then theres teucer.

And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All

Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????

yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....

like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.

like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up

hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭

A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap

[ganondoodle]

i kinda want to read books again, i havent read any in .. more years than i know to remember but idk how to find anything i like, especially these days (i dont read fanfiction either .. , i tried a few times but it never really caught me q-q)

even when i was young i was somewhat picky (though there are plenty books im sure i finished but just .. dont remember) the last series i think i read was skullduggery pleasant (as i said, its been many years) but dropped it after it got a little 'weird' (in like .. i guess the shonen powerscaling problem, at least thats how it felt back then) and the annoying love interest boy that was seemingly only introduced so protag girl could do what normal girls do tm (i know theres many more books in the series so idk if hes actually more than that but eugh)

funnily enough i only seem to remember the books i loved so much i kept rereading them (the bartimäus trio, though i loved the forth prequel more than the others .. still sad i lost my copy of it in school) or the ones i stopped reading bc something completely threw me out of it-

there was one i literally only remember it was a protagonist (teen?) girl (is that a general common thing for the fantasy genre?) and she was travelling via a ship in that scene, idk if it was a flying one but something was different magical tm i think; and left it or ran away or so and sought shelter from the rain at some point and annoying boy caught up to her and they uuh .. started making out of nowhere?? (im sorry i literally only remember i felt rly uncomfortable and awkward, didnt like the boy, thought they had zero chemistry/felt forced AND i did NOT see it coming, like at all, maybe its my aro/ace/autism .. ness (that i wasnt aware of except being def different for most of my life, haha fun.) but i rememebr feeling like i got flashbanged by what i read, the only actual sentence i (think i) remember was "she felt the weight of his hips shifting onto hers" bc it weirded me out so much and i might just have stopped reading it at that point and never looked back lmao)

another one was one with a setting of having dragons and they were used like horses, also feathered! (though the cover picture, i think, was a big dragon eye surrounded by scales, pretty sure it annoyed me constantly but i might missremember, again its been so long and i went through things my brain wishes it could unlive) and the protagonist worked at a stable or soemthing (also girl? idk), last thing i remember was that all dragons started to go mad and kill themselves .. idk if i read any further

(honorable mention to uuh .. dämonenzeit (demon time), was a demon protagonist and it was a little brutal for my taste but when do you get a demon as the main guy, apparently there were two entries and i only read the first one, also lost that copy- Xarors (an OC of mine) first designs were based on the cover of that book and the thing the band 'disturbed' tended to use (the hooded guy with red glowing eyes) i was very original)

maybe all those were super well known ones and i just never knew (grew up without/extremely limited internet and tech in general after all.... the only one i knew was popular and also read all of it and had all parts .. was a certain bad wizard series that should not still be so popular *watches in horror as my niece gets into it and wants nothing but merch for it*) or really bad peepoo baby books, im possibly confusing or mixing some things bc i read quite a few ones with dragons and similar themes, but thats just what i remember/remember feeling like

(maybe i should see if i still have them somewhere and see how much is true of any of this .... though a part of me also doesnt want to)

[suohenki]

on my second playthrough of veilguard (for some reason). this is the insane person's ramblings about lore/writing unlike my last post

this is the first time i've been so utterly bored of a second playthrough. never has an rpg given me this feeling.

like there are no quests i look forward to tbh, every main quest is a long combat sequence. even inquisition had the orlesian ball that you had to resolve with some actual noncombat solutions. (get behind me inquisition i will defend you from the fandom)

made a qunari this time to see if it affects anything, no, really doesn't. there's barely any qunari dialogue options.

picked the crows origin, it is truly astonishing the way they treat them in this game. they seem completely shy about the crows being contract killers? it's not even that they don't talk about the things Zevran talks about, but they fully try to ignore the murder part. Mfrs are freedom fighters now apparently.

and the "twist" villains in the crows storyline are so comically obvious i hoped they were both red herrings. the butcher is so underdeveloped too. the way the illario/blood magic twist is written is confusing, rook sees it all with his damn eyes and then never says a word about it. Yes i think illario is the bad guy here, Rook, i know you heard the "amatus". What. (swear to god the dark brotherhood is more deep than this. i never thought i'd say TES has better writing than DA.)

By the end they never address the fucked up things the crows do, outside of Rook's one throwaway line of "yeah my training was hell lmao." Is it just Aranai that's fucked or what kind of hellish training are we talking about? Rook also mentions having been an orphan... so the crows are as usual but we just won't talk about it. The lore and characters have never been this confusing and woobified. The positivity of Rook rly feels off when they are a trained assassin... no one reacts negatively to it, everyone even goes "Omg lucanis is a killer. Oh, not you Rook, you're better :)" no i don't think he is? Both killers.

Similarly they are so scared of the (elven) slavery in Tevinter. If you hadn't played the previous games you'd be forgiven for thinking Tevinter had no slavery because you missed the 3 sentences that mention it. We are in the slavery capital of Thedas and we are being shy about it. I guess Dorian's and Fenris's stories are too "problematic"... It's frankly gross how they brush it off after how serious it was in previous games. Also crazy how religion never comes up. In the country of the "black divine", you'd think Harding would have something to say at least. It really only now hit me how hard they avoided bringing up non-elven religion when it's been such a big part of the lore...

Neve's storyline just begs to be about the actual known issues of Tevinter instead of whatever it was about, all of it went from one ear, out the other. To me, her and Lucanis are the weakest companions on replay. Neve's voice acting is so strange and flat it's really difficult for me to be endeared by her. (this is coming from a cassandra pentaghast enjoyer)

Even if I think Harding's scenes could be better at least i get what she is about. Tho all the titan stuff feels like it's not treated with the gravity it should be. I do like Taash and Bellara, i just wish Taash wasn't written so immaturely. i never found Sera immature in this way, she's abrasive and yes, "immature" with the pranks etc., but Taash is written like a stereotypical teen, Sera just felt like a weirdo adult. And you can tell Alistair to suck it up lmao, it's really not even comparable. And the Isabela scene with the push-ups.... talk about making it all about yourself. Taash should have just been nonbinary from the start if they were going to make the representation this awkward.

I wish Bellara's quest had more drama. You don't get to save her brother but you also have no scene where, for example, Bellara endangers Rook or lets Anaris escape because she is actually conflicted about her brother... Rook and her just kinda let them go. Bellara is okay with killing her brother with barely any convincing lol.

Emmrich and Davrin are still my favorites, I think Davrin just works, and i like that we get to see more of his background. He's not terribly ~deep~ but he doesn't have to be, saving the griffons is an understandable goal, one that would be devastating to fail. Just a charismatic man that has things he cares about with conviction.

Emmrich is an interesting portrayal of necromancy which is something i'm always receptive to, i'd play a DA game set entirely in Nevarra. His quest has wild tonal shifts but at least the set dressing kept me interested. I do wish we didn't decide for him if he became a lich tho.

I wish with all the companions the way it worked was they decide based on previous dialogues. If you keep encouraging emmrich to pursue lichdom and face his fear then he does, if not, the opposite happens. i'm just not a fan of the "here's the moment where rook decides another person's fate!!!" like why am i deciding. it's their life.

i romanced Lucanis this time to try to see why people like him so much but man, i just think his whole story is a mess. they love to imply all the trauma Lucanis has but don't truly convey any of it. you don't even talk about being a crow with Lucanis like you talk about being a watcher with Emmrich. I guess it's my bad for expecting an assassin that has been tortured and forced into an abomination to be more of an interesting character.

i'm gonna need to know more about a companion than he has trauma, he likes coffee and he cooks, to be invested. The coffee thing feels like flanderization before i even know the man, put the damn cup down. First time i felt this disconnected with a romance.

i felt like they really squandered Spite too. You'd think a demon possessing a companion would cause more trouble than 1 escape attempt. Lucanis missing the first stab attempt barely registers as Spite's fault. Spite doesn't get any sort of pay off or drama.

I could forgive a lot more if the writing was better but the bad writing stands out so much more on a second playthrough. The basic dialogue, the spoon-feeding of info, the marvel-quips, the uninteresting side quests. Can't believe that i had to find out from fucking tumblr that the time Rook spent in the fade was WEEKS, you'd think that would be an impactful detail. Legit thought they got him out in a day lmao. Explains the dagger coming out of nowhere.

They try so hard to make the team cute and wholesome, it cemented my dislike of the found family trope. It comes across as so unearned. The game is like half competent writing, half DA fanfiction. Everything to do with Solas is okay. But everything else is so off. At least they managed to make Solas a love-to-hate type character for those like me who did not care about him in DA:I. The reason i'm not talking too much about the overall plot is it was okay, i just don't care that much about the evanuris. weird choice to try to blame it all on the elves tho. Like i love you but stfu Bellara, you do not have to take on the sins of the father. Have the elves not been through enough?

[neiptune]

hi miss v!! 🥺 i hope you're having a wonderful day/night <3 this event is rly cute 🥺..,, could i request "you could be the one that i keep" and sanemi? thank you.,, giving u a little smooch.., <3333

sanemi shinazugawa x you could be the one that I keep

“I honestly can’t believe you” Obanai is not put off by your scowl in the slightest, if anything he’s fighting back a smile.

“I remember mentioning the night out”

“You never mentioned drinks being on Tengen” you hiss and this time he does smirk.

“Not our fault your man can’t hold his liquor”

His words light a fire in your stomach and you feel blood rushing all the way to your cheeks.

“He’s not—”

“Yeah, yeah, not yet because both of you are goddamn idiots” his gaze suddenly shifts from your eyes to something behind you.

“Hey” the greeting is soft, he’s always softer when he’s drunk “finally decided to join us?” you know he only has a hand on your shoulder to balance himself and you’re certain his lips feel too close to the shell of your ear only because he’s doing a terrible job at not tripping over his own feet.

“I’m here to drive you home” well, it’s not like you’re being any better at playing off your self-consciousness as annoyance.

You expect protests, outrage, a little tantrum even, but all Sanemi does is huff through his nose and glare at Obanai.

“I told you I’m fine” he slightly sways and the grip on your shoulder tightens.

“Sure you are” his best friend clicks his tongue and flashes him a smile “we’re gonna leave too in a bit and there’s only so much space in Kyojuro’s car”

The lie is so blatant is offensive, really. Sober Sanemi would’ve kicked his ass.

“Fine” drunk him sleepily mumbles instead, before he puts his entire arm around your shoulders “take me home, then”

Such simple words have your insides churning. Glaring one final time at Obanai, you walk past him and towards the exit.

As you navigate the crowded bar, Sanemi barely registers the hollering coming from the table he was sitting at until you showed up, his friends yelling for you to join them. He stumbles slightly against you, far too distracted by the fruity scent of your hair and the arm you have secured around his waist.

The breeze outside is cool. He actually knows he’s long gone from the way he can feel the thumping of the music from the bar right inside his stomach, from how breathing suddenly takes more effort. Must be why he stumbles forward until he’s leaning up against your car as soon as he spots the familiar honda civic, a soft laugh escaping his lips when he opens his eyes and sees the way you’re looking at him.

“M’okay” he assures, flushed cheeks and pale eyes “I apologize for being a nuisance”

It’s just that I feel I could swim through the sidewalk right now so I need a moment, he mentally adds.

You giggle and Sanemi forces his eyes to focus because he doesn’t want blurry vision to keep him from witnessing the beautiful way your eyes crinkle.

“What?” he asks, mirroring your smile by muscle memory.

“Nothing” you shrug and the oversized coat you’re wearing almost swallows you whole “I like it when you’re drunk and talk like that”

“Like what?”

“All formal and solemn” you giddily grin underneath the streetlights and Sanemi rolls his eyes. It’s a mistake, because his stomach contracts from a pang of nausea right away. He feels dizzy and hates the fact that you’re there just as his designated driver, he hates that the alcohol currently buzzing through his veins has him already reaching the stage where he’s about to throw up. He wishes you would’ve showed up when he was still two drinks in, the thinking about you enough to just fucking kiss you if you were here stage.

“Come on, let’s go” he’s having a hard time standing without swaying so you inch forward to open the passenger side door and help him climb onto your leather seat. You feel the warmth radiating from his body as you buckle him in and Sanemi has to dig his nails into his palms to keep his hands from grabbing you by the waist.

It’s a quick drive to his apartment, he rents a place close to downtown. He’s spent the entire ride in silence, just looking at you and being quick to turn his attention to the dash whenever you’d glance at him to make sure he was still awake. Right as you park before his apartment complex, Sanemi rolls down his window and just rests his head against the seat, eyes closed.

“We’re here” your fingers lightly drum on the steering wheel. He knows it’s the middle of the night and you’re probably aching to go back to bed already, but he wants this moment to last just a bit longer. Your perfume smells too nice and your voice is too gentle for him to simply get out of the car and crawl back to his empty flat.

“Nemi?”

“Yeah. I won’t fall asleep, don’t worry. Can we just stay like this for a second?” he doesn’t need to open his eyes to know that you’re getting comfortable in your own seat. His heart swells with relief at your little sure.

“Wanna tell me how much you had to drink?” your tone is playful but he scoffs nonetheless, opening his eyes once more. To avoid looking at you, he pulls the latch of your glove box to the left to open it. Vehicle paperwork, receipts, $10 in quarters, a lipstick and…

“Can’t believe you kept this” he mumbles to himself as he takes the little keychain he’s bought for you at a fair so many years before, when you still barely knew each other and he already knew how big of a problem you were going to become.

“M’not like you, I keep everything” you smile.

Sanemi scoffs.

“I could keep you” he thinks to himself “you could be the one that I keep”

Thank god he wouldn’t dare speak those words out loud.

Or would he?

You let out a suffocated gasp.

[pianostarinwonderland]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AZUL

i have nothing prepared for you except my wet soppy thoughts

maybe i might rush write something bc i do have a few ideas on what to write

fucking breathes

the best. fucking. groovy. ever.

like everyone go home right now.

I have tried to think of every way they could make him look good but it ends up being how they could fuck it up because I’m gonna be honest, a lot of Azul’s recent cards are either decent or not hitting that well 🤡🤡

but this. THIS.

HOLLLLYYYYYYYY FUCK IT’S EVERYTHING

THE LIGHTING . THE THE FUCKING FUCK.

TEH ? VMS LISTEN. HE'S THE CHARACTER FOR EVIL SMIRKS, SO OFC THIS SERIES OF EVIL GROOVIES WAS GONNA BE PERFECT FOR HIM BUT BU T BU T

THIS IS SOOOOOO GOOOD. LIKE??????? DEADASS THE BEST ???? SMIRK??????? HE'S EVER MADE?????????? AND HE LOOKS SOOOO MUCH LIKE HIMSELF

THIS IS ALSO THE BEST ANGLE WE'VE EVER GOTTEN THAT SHOWS HIS 'BALD' SIDE AND THAT'S S OGUFKCKNGJ GOOD

AND AND

🧍‍♀️

h

he hey sir.

your hand looks cold.

m mm mind if i h hh hh hhhh hhol— gunshots are fired

ADN CAN I JUST

CRY ABOUT

PART OF YOUR WORLD BEING THE PAINTING LIKE LEI EK JLGSLKGNLSKDNGOADSNGOAINSAONGOAISNGI0AOHGIOAHGSDHIFGHSDOIGFHNSDINGIDSNJGKVDS

FUCKKKKK THIS WAS WHAT I'VE WANTED FOR THE PAST FWE MONTHS

THE PART OF YOUR WORLD SEGMETJKNJENJKSNGFNDKSJNGKSDKGNSDKLNGLSDGNDSLGS

FUCKGN ISN FCYRING

LISTEN LISTEN.

LISTEN.

I WILL DROP A HOT TAKE RIGHT NOW

THE LITTLE MERMAID SONG THAT DEFINES AZUL IS NOT POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS BUT IT'S PART OF YOUR WORLD

AZUL'S SCHEMING AND CUNNING IS DEFINITELY FROM URSULA AND IS REFLECTED SOOOO MUCH IN POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS

BUT HIS DREAMS

HIS GOALS

HIS AMBITIONS AND DETERMINATION TO MAKE HIS WISHES COME TRUE

PART OF YOUR WORLD REFLECTS THAT.

AZUL WOULD NOT BE AZUL IF IT WASNT FOR PART OF YOUR WORLD

AND THE SPECIFIC PART THEY SHOW OF PART OF YOUR WORLD. IT'S THE PART WHERE ARIEL WAS DETERMINED TO GET TO THE SURFACE

THAT'S LITERALLY AZUL

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

OUGOSHGHSODGHSUGUDSOHGODSGHOSDGDSGOSDHGISDOSDNGDGDSNGNSDOIGNIONAONGNAONSGIOSOGA

ok and can i just

scream about his story

BECAUSE. GOD FUCK THAT STORY LEFT ME DEAD.

loike like AZUL TALKED ABOUT HIS GRANDMA?????

THE SECOND BDAY STORY IN A ROW THAT HE TALKS ABOUT HOW HIS GRANDMA RAISED HIM AND AND HOW SHE'S BEEN SUCH A BIG INFLUENCE IN HIS LIFE

he's a grandma's boy ouhghfohfgf he loves his grandma sm he respects her and cherishes her goddddddddd

i love how he's aware that true compassion comes from not just spoiling someone but also disciplining them and whatnot

it adds to the balanced theme that he has going on

i also just rly love in general that azul loves and respects the maternal figures in his life not only because it makes him more respectable but also because it ties in with the feminism theme that you find in the little mermaid (whether animated or live action)

then then THE WHOLE LIKE,,, PART WHERE AZUL TELLS JAMIL THAT HE WAS SO SURPRISED AT ALL THE NEW SCENTS ON LAND THAT HE WAS SNIFFING AROUND LITERALLY

i first saw that part in an out of context screenshot, where jamil's like "lol haha you were just sniffing around everywhere omg" and i was like HUH?????

@/doom on twt also pointed out that it might be why Azul's into colognes and i think i shuold just be defenestrated at this point from how insane i've been goign

THE BARBEQUE PART THO

IT'S SO CUTE

AZUL, FLOYD, AND JADE DOING A BARBECUE....... WHEN THEY BARELY KNEW ABOUT LAND CULTURE AND PHYSICS................

AND THEY BURNT EVERYTHING LMAOOOO AND THE TWEELS BLEW SMOKE INTO HIS FACE THAT WAS JUST SO CUTE HONESTLY

jamil's like wow that sounds funny haha and honestly same jamil same

AND THEN THE PART WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT THE PR FOR NRC

god typical azul for doing it so that he can boost himself before graduatign

but i also got a lil emotional on that part not gonna lie bc he's Still grabbing opportunities to achieve his goals and he's working hard for them and god honestly that's one of the main reasons why i fell for him and i still love him for it

i also like

fucking died over his voiced line s

wtf

wtf are those lines

azul actually talking about love and crushes in his groovy....... but it's just him saying it's great cause he can exploit it lmaoooo

babe you're gonna be a disaster when you actually like someone i know it

jamil's already bordering on it, but if you actually end up liking Liking someone it's so over

personally what really fucking sent me though was Azul going "I take art as one of my courses so I can explain to you any painting you're interested in" LIKE

CMON.

CMONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

lore on NRC courses???

but also the way that's phrased sounds like art is an elective you can opt to take ? ?

and he CHOSE to take art? //? /

hELL O

AHAHFAHSHFOIAHSIOFHIOASHFIAS THE ARTIST IN ME IS GOING AWAOHOAHGOAH

ofc Azul looks at art in a business sense, but i love that he's so wiling to branch out and rly appreciate it

cause how many ppl out there put down art :')) employers in particular are really iffy about this

Azul's also designed mostro lounge so you know he has his own style

also wtf Azul, you have your tentacles in business, in science and maths (science would be chemistry ish because of alchemy and arithmetic is Literally listed as his talent), and now in the arts

just.

just

man

happy birthday ashengrotto. take my tears and my insanity for now until i can writey ou smth better

[tryskomys]

Wet Sand

Stone Gossard x OC

Chapter 14 - Doing All Right

Summary: that’s a part of the nda you wanted.

masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

notes: tadaaa, we got to the aftermath™. this one rly depends on your pov - schrödinger’s tryskomys chapter, if you will. it might be fluffy, might be angsty, might be bittersweet - or maybe a plethora of all of these. you’ll only find out once you come inside - unlike stone, because he values safe sex. okay, that one was a bit uncalled for, i’ll stop now.

tws: i mean, i don’t think there are any today. maybe fresh injuries. and talking about sex, but we’re all human beings here - when are we *not* talking about it?

oh, and some easter eggs pointing to the fact that stone is a convicted freak. to those who have seen the infamous shoe incident and the lollapalooza spanking: yeah, i can’t believe that footage exists, either. and to those who haven’t: do not look it up, please. or do, i don’t know, i’m not your mom. but if i was, i’d tell you not to look it up. you might learn something earth-shattering about yourself.

song:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

When Keeva woke up, she immediately felt like she’d just stuck her head into a running washing machine. The sunlight that peeked through the window was way too bright for April - but maybe her brain was just making it appear like a summer blaze to spite her.

Or it could’ve been the stitches in her forehead.

Yeah, that’s probably it.

When Keeva shuffled with an uncomfortable groan, the bed loudly creaked under her - much more than her own back home. Then she realized that she was, in fact, not in her bed.

She blinked a few times and looked around the lousy room to make sure that she didn’t dream this place up. But it was real.

The same ragged armchair, the same ugly carpet, the same mattress that was about as comfortable as sleeping on a slab of concrete.

Although, it was a bit lighter than when Keeva fell asleep. She knew why within a split second, but she still turned her head next to her as slowly and cautiously as she could, fearing that she would be right.

Empty.

Just one or two fallen-out brown hair on the pillow to reassure her that she did not dream him up, either. Keeva shivered when the bed sheets tickled her naked body - they weren’t even nearly as soft as his skin. She had to fight tears when the implication hit her.

He’s not here. He didn’t stay. He woke up and saw me and left.

She was trying very hard to stay determined. She wanted this. This was what she planned, wrecked her brain over it a million times and then willingly decided to do - and when the moment came, she initiated it.

So why does it hurt so bad?

Keeva’s whole body was on fire. She assumed that it would be even if she didn’t get beat up and didn’t spend six hours sitting on the dirty emergency room floor.

Somehow, though, the pain felt good. It made her feel more alive than she’d ever felt before.

When she looked around the room again to check if Stone wasn’t hiding somewhere to jump out at her, her eyes fell on a little folded note propped up on the chipped bedside table.

It was just a simple piece of paper with the hotel logo in the corner, but it nearly made her heart jump out of her ribcage. She snatched it with wide eyes, immediately recognizing the handwriting.

Went downstairs for a blunt & coffee. That’s an invite, by the way.

- beanpole

The B and E in the signature had a strange shape, thicker than the other letters. It almost looked like it used to be an L and an O.

But then again, Keeva’s state of mind was so compromised that she had no idea what was real and what was wishful thinking.

A wave of yesterday’s memories washed over her as she rested her head on the pillow again and clutched the note to her chest.

She didn’t even try to fight the burning blush that flooded her cheeks when she rolled over and buried her face in the fabric.

She took a deep breath of the warm scent it still carried.

Let’s pretend like he’s still here. Just a few more minutes.

For some reason, the bathroom didn’t have a mirror, so she couldn’t even check how colourful the wounds on her face were. It hurt like hell, though, now that the brain fog was slowly dissolving.

Keeva’s first instinct was to hop into the tiny shower, but then she remembered that she already did.

They did.

“Wait, no! No tickling, stop it!”

“You’re naked, what else am I supposed to do? You’re waving a red blanket in front of my face and that blanket is your ass. Which is really nice, by the way. Really nice. What a shame that you - hold still or you’ll fall! - that you hide it under those fucking dungarees all the time.”

“Stop tickling me, Romeo, and keep your hands off my ass! Eeeek, back off!”

“It’s just staring right at me, I gotta put my energy somewhere. It’s tickling or spanking, choose your poison!”

“Don’t you dare, y- OW! Nooooo-OW! Stop it, Stoney! Fuck, stop - ow! Don’t sp- OW! Stop or I’ll spank your ass like it’s never been spanked before!”

“Tough shit, I might like it. Maybe I’m into some weird shit and you have no idea. I would lick the soles of your boots if you begged hard enough -”

“Fucking hell, eugh, you disgus-OW! No - more - spanking!”

“Alright, tickling it is then!”

They laughed. They laughed so hard they couldn’t breathe. They laughed so hard they had to sit down so they wouldn’t slip.

So why does this hurt so bad?

Stone’s duffle bag was gone - he must’ve already packed up and taken it with him. They only had a few hours to get to DC, so she tried to pack as quickly as she could.

She didn’t even have time to unpack in the first place, so she was ready in a few minutes.

Keeva would’ve loved to just sit in the holey armchair and stay locked in the room forever, but she had to go down at some point. So she picked out some clean laundry, threw it on and decided to brave through the inevitable.

Her clothes from yesterday were scattered all around the room.

Stone was as gentle, sweet and attentive of a lover as one could ever be. But she’d noticed that a couple of times throughout the night, he had a sudden burst of raw brashness that was a lot more in tune with his usual sly personality.

As if he was trying to hold himself back, cracked for a moment and then went back to being cool and reserved.

Undressing her like a starved animal and mindlessly throwing the clothes away in all directions was one of those façade cracks.

Even though she had no other comparison, she knew that Stone had already shown her the best time she could ever have, thanks to his head-spinning finesse - that no one would ever come close to him.

But she’d be lying to herself if she wasn’t interested in finding out what else he can do when he really lets himself go. In fact, just the simple thought of it made her legs turn into jello.

Too bad this is never gonna happen again. He couldn’t even look at you in the morning, that’s why he left.

He changed his mind and it took him just one night with you.

Keeva grabbed her t-shirt from yesterday and just stared at it for a few minutes, a sad frown twisting her face. It was the one Stone made for her, stained with blood all over - she doubted that it would ever be possible to wash off.

With a frustrated sigh, she threw it in a spare plastic bag and stuffed it into her big backpack, next to the panties and socks.

Lastly, she grabbed Stone’s note, put it in the chest pocket of her fleece argyle shirt and left the room without turning back.

There was a lone dirty mirror in the hallway - and she looked terrible.

Shit. This looks even more painful than it is.

The sliced forehead had a bruise along the stitches, as did Keeva’s cheek and her slightly torn lip. However, her dark circles somehow looked less deep today.

With a big sigh, she tried to put on a few varying types of smiles - none of them looked even mildly genuine, so she shook her head and gave her reflection a middle finger.

The crisp breeze felt like a punch to the face in contrast with the stale air of the hotel room. It tickled her wounds and that wasn’t very comfortable. There was a little coffee shop right next to the hotel, so Keeva guessed that he would be there.

She lightly slapped her cheeks a few times before walking in.

And there he was - wearing the bright yellow sweatshirt that she loved to borrow from him, his worn-out leather jacket on top and the jeans that were getting progressively more ripped every time he wore them.

The half ponytail was slowly becoming Stone’s signature hairstyle, now that his hair grew out into long brown waves. Lately, he started wearing it more and more often and she found it irresistibly smug and charming.

On top of it looking remarkably hot, he always made her day better with his bizarre choices of colours and textures of the ties. Today, he neatly secured it with the thin turquoise hair tie he stole from her.

He must’ve grabbed it from the bedside table on his way out of the room - just where he put it after he gently untied her curls loose to play with them in agonizingly slow caresses.

Keeva wondered if this was supposed to be some kind of a gesture - maybe a hint at her stupid joke from a year ago. She highly doubted that that was his train of thought because he had the memory of a goldfish. But she definitely remembered.

‘Thou shalt belongest to the wench whose scrunchie thou wearest on thy wrist.’

Stone was casually sipping on a cup of coffee as if he had no care in the world. Even the intimidatingly big purple bruise on his cheekbone looked less poignant thanks to the careless aura around him, as did the large scab on the bridge of his nose.

He looked up from his cup right when he heard the bell ring as she walked in. As soon as their eyes met, he broke into a small reserved smile.

Before Keeva could take another step towards him, though, she felt an arm around her shoulder that appeared out of nowhere. She’d never been so disappointed to see Greg. He had a coffee in his hand, face twisted in a worried frown.

“Morning, Keeks,” he said, affectionately tickling her cheek with his thumb. “How are you feeling?”

“Hey, princess,” she chuckled and softly pushed the back of his neck down while stepping on her tiptoes to see the big bump on the top of his head. “Been worse, how about you?”

Keeva deliberately ignored Stone’s cough.

“Been worse,” Greg shrugged and nodded towards Stone. “Turns out I should’ve been a boxer, unlike this scrawny sack of bones.”

She subconsciously followed Greg’s movement - Stone darted away before she could see his eyes, choosing to stare into the table instead.

For a second, he seemed a bit sheepish, but then he tucked a stray strand of hair back into his ponytail and got back to his cool attitude.

“What can I say. I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

On any other day, that would’ve made Keeva giggle. Not at that moment, though. Greg, on the other hand, found it so amusing that he loudly laughed.

“Yeah, we can both clearly see that, baby boy.”

“What’s cracking, friends?” Andy cheeped when he walked in, rubbing his palms together as he turned to the girl behind the counter. “Morning, miss. Can I have a coffee on the road, please? Milkless.”

The waitress looked a bit worried - he was the third beaten-up person to walk into her coffee shop in a span of about thirty minutes. She was clearly an experienced Bronx resident, though, so she wordlessly nodded and poured him a small to-go cup without further questions.

Greg headed to sit next to Stone, which erased any hope of Keeva’s to talk to him alone.

Meanwhile, Andy slapped some coins on the counter and thanked the waitress before making his way to his short friend with a growing frown.

“Pooky?” he said as they both walked to the table side by side. He put the coffee down and took her head in his palms, turning her from left to right. “Pooks, let me take a look at you.”

“Why?” Keeva chuckled. Her eyes once again failed her and darted in Stone’s direction, who was staring at her too, clearly ignoring Greg’s rambling about the driving schedule.

He snapped away as soon as he’d noticed her, though.

“Hmm, you seem…different,” Andy mumbled, squinting when he inched a bit closer as if she had small letters written on her forehead and he was struggling to read them.

She raised an eyebrow and pushed down a dry swallow.

“Uh, I got punched in the face, Andy. That might be it,” she said, trying to sound resolute, but Andy frowned even deeper.

“No, no, no,” he vehemently shook his head. “Not look different. Seem different.”

This time she managed to keep her eyes on Andy, but she could see in her peripheral that Stone was the one to take a peek at them this time.

And with the way he shuffled in his seat and ran his hand through his hair, he was clearly uncomfortable at the notion of Andy suspecting anything.

“I - uh…again, I got punched in the face, sorry if I’m a bit cranky,” she forced herself to roll her eyes and put on a bothered face. Andy’s eyebrows knitted again and he put his hands on her shoulders to turn her around.

“Hm. What are ya up to, greenie?” he questioned when Keeva did a 360. She cleared her throat to get rid of the strain in her voice and then tried to be nonchalant by leaning against the table.

She didn’t calculate her move very well, though, and put her hand too close to Stone - the tips of their pinkies touched and a small static shock snapped upon the impact.

She suspected it was because of her woollen sweater. It always caused her hair to stand up and crackle. But it might as well have been just the tempest that was surging through her thanks to feeling his skin again.

He was wearing his trusty fingerless gloves - he’d had them ever since they’d met. Probably long before her, too, considering all the clumps of wool and threads sticking out of them.

But his calloused skin was still cold as ice.

Stone’s arm twitched - she couldn’t tell if it was because of the sudden contact or the static, but he didn’t move away. Neither did she - she didn’t want to be any more obvious.

“Pft,” she tried to focus on Andy again. “Let’s see…I wanted to get coffee instead of tea for breakfast, could be that. You’ve arrived just in time for a historical event, sleepyhead.”

Andy hummed - he was clearly having none of it.

“You slept good?” he squinted at her and folded his arms.

Ever since Keeva woke up, she felt like she had no control over her body - her eyes quickly snapped to Stone once again. Thankfully, he was fixated on his coffee.

“I did,” she simply said and hoped that her blush wasn’t too bright.

“You did?!” Andy gasped and made Greg and Stone turn their heads.

“First time?” Greg cheerfully asked and put his arm around her waist, dragging her down to sit with them.

Keeva’s eyes popped open. Stone was just taking a sip from his cup when he snorted into the coffee, making it splash on his chin and far up his nose.

“Wh- no?!” she yelped as Stone wiped his mouth with a snicker. He clearly tried to play it off as laughing at her outraged tone, so she tried to follow his suit and quickly compose herself. “I mean, I guess. Probably, yeah. I think I haven’t slept this long since second grade.”

Stone’s smile grew even wider and he tilted his head down to hide it, the tips of his ponytail falling in front of his eyes like a curtain. His hair looked so wavy today - it drove her mad.

“Well, eureka!” Andy clapped and sat down, too. “New York is good for you. I’m very honoured to be a part of this monumental affair.”

“What monumental affair?” Jeff’s voice appeared at the door.

Keeva could properly see his black eye for the first time - it wasn’t too bad, though. He was built like a brick wall and clearly experienced in dodging punches. She figured that he probably had a couple of notches on his street fight belt, considering he grew up in the middle of nowhere.

“Pooky’s had a good night’s sleep,” Andy explained and rested his head on the windowsill behind him.

“No way!” Jeff gasped, breaking into a toothy grin as he rushed to their table. Keeva theatrically flipped her hair - a move that, for a reason unknown to her, made Stone raise his head again and shift in his seat.

“Yep! I swept in and asked if she slept well and she said: ‘I did.’” Andy said, deepening his voice while doing a bad parody of her accent.

Now she could finally examine everyone up close. All the guys looked like they got into a fight, except for Stone. He looked like there was no fight at all - more like someone just simply beat the absolute shit out of him.

When she was only half-conscious, he seemed to be doing pretty well. Thinking back, that was probably just her wishful thinking. He was surely brave enough that it tricked her, though.

Blood was literally streaming out of Stone’s nose and mouth, but he still found the energy to scream insults - some of which she barely knew existed - left and right.

Also, she could swear she saw him straight up headbutt someone in the face with full strength. That was probably the moment he broke his nose.

The fact that she found the scene so incredibly hot was a concept so shameful to her that she prayed it was just her mild concussion speaking - for both her sake and his.

“Bruce started the van, we should dip,” Jeff tore her out of her thoughts when he slapped the table. “If you’re all packed up, I’ll go and do the checkout - could you grab me a coffee to go, Keeks?”

Keeva managed to quickly shake off her lapse of attention and rested her chin on her palm with a dreamy sigh.

“Anything for the angel walking among us. We’re not worthy,” she pouted.

“Yeah, yeah, you can thank me on the way, smart-ass,” Jeff scoffed and ruffled her hair before jogging to the exit. “We gotta stop for fuel, too, so move your butts. Chop-chop.”

● ● ● ● ● ●

“Ugh, I would kill for a Coke right now,” Keeva groaned when they parked next to the gas tank. She stuck her head out of the window and pointed at the gas station building a few feet away. “And I don’t wanna kill any of you, so I’ll be right back.”

Multiple orders of chips, candy and cans of whatever echoed through the van as she hopped out, along with Jeff’s ever-so-responsible: “You’ve got exactly five minutes, greenie, then we’re leaving without you!”

“At least you’d finally learn how to tune your own bass, babes!” she called after him and headed for the building.

She could hear Jeff’s mocking laugh over the crunching gravel under her feet, along with Stone’s still extra nasally voice when he got out of the van as well.

“I would kill for sour gummies. I’ll be right back.”

Keeva rolled her eyes as a jolt of nervous nausea stabbed her stomach.

Jesus, talk about subtle.

She heard Jeff’s muttered ‘now it’s only four minutes’ before his voice got lost in Stone’s slapping footsteps as he jogged up to her.

When he caught up, he immediately took her around the shoulders, nonchalant as always. This time, the crackling she felt discernably wasn’t from static clothing.

Keeva thought that maybe - after yesterday - all the time she wasted fantasizing about him would be erased and this intense heartburn she felt every time he touched her would finally stop.

But she had to curse her own naivité - it got much worse.

What was an even bigger gut punch, though - Stone didn’t seem to flinch at all. Careless as ever, he just affectionately squeezed her shoulder like he always did as they walked side by side.

She couldn’t decide if she was glad that he didn’t change his attitude towards her or if it hurt her ego so bad she wanted to cry.

“Morning,” he simply said - she heard a smile in his voice, but didn’t dare to look up at him. The tips of Stone’s long waves tickled her forehead, still carrying the irresistible scent he left behind on the pillow.

“Morning,” Keeva mumbled and took the opportunity to lean closer to him when she stumbled on one bigger piece of rubble - her legs felt wobbly in his presence, now more than ever.

“Slept well?” he asked and shook his hair out of his face, making the locks tickle her again. Stone’s tone was sly enough to sound like flirting.

Combined with his soapy cologne and the strawberry scent he always emanated, it made a small surge of confidence rush through her.

“Never better, actually,” Keeva smirked and raised her head - he was already looking down at her, breaking into an even bigger smile than he had before.

“Good girl,” Stone chuckled and scratched the crown of her head a few times.

He spoke the words in such a strikingly lighter tone than just a couple of hours ago, when he addressed her that way many times. They sounded so aloof now, so friendly - almost as if they were pronounced in a completely separate language.

Not to her, though. And she’d never believe that Stone had no idea that it would immediately send a buzzing shiver down her spine.

He had many faults, but stupidity wasn’t one of them.

“I’m glad,” he added.

“Glad?” Keeva scoffed, folding her arms. “You should, uh - you should be flattered instead.”

Stone might’ve been casual about it, but she could still feel some sense of excitement from him. Pride, even. She couldn’t discern if he was being cocky or genuinely thrilled, though.

“So you enjoyed yourself?” he asked, squeezing Keeva closer again.

“I did,” she shrugged, trying to emulate his coolness, but Stone’s joyful tone made her crack a wide smile.

“You did?!”

“Yeah!” Keeva nodded and the tense knot in her stomach slowly began to unwind. She nudged him with her elbow. “Did you?”

To her dismay, Stone paused. Just for a few seconds, though, as if he was trying to find the right words. He followed the silence with an even brighter smile that made up for it.

“It was amazing.”

Keeva couldn’t hold in a sigh. Stone seemed so bright and weightless that it hurt her senses, like staring into the sun for too long.

For one, she deduced that it wasn’t tormenting him as much as her and that had its own disappointing implications. And for two, she truly couldn’t fathom the possibility that he was telling the truth.

She had to hide her face before she reacted, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I’m sorry that I was so -” she started, but Stone immediately shook his head and interrupted her.

“No, believe me, you did so good. So good. Really.”

Stone sounded so genuine he almost had her convinced. And when she turned to him again, he looked genuine, too.

Fuck. His eyes are like a fancy sparkling kaleidoscope. All-green glitter. All shades twinkling at once.

Oh no, my head is spinning. Dammit.

Jesus, is this what being on acid feels like?

The overwhelming beauty made Keeva lose her ability to think before speaking, so she couldn’t stop herself from babbling. She regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth.

“You know, uh, now I - I technically owe you for taking pity on me and therefore should repay you sometimes, so…”

To her surprise, Stone nodded without taking a second to think. That slightly fueled her ego - it seemed like there wasn’t much thinking involved in either of their heads.

“Sounds fair, count me in,” he said and she noticed a little giddy tremble in his voice.

Might be just the trashed nose - his voice is even more annoying now and everything he says sounds giddy and shaky. Or…

“Sounds fair, right?” she quickly retorted and squeezed her folded arms closer to her chest to stop them from shaking.

By now, she knew Stone was unmistakably happy. It was those cursed eyes of his. He reached out and poked her side with his finger.

“So we could, you know, repeat it?” Stone asked confidently, still keeping his aloof attitude. “If you’d be interested? Sometime?”

Once again, Keeva couldn’t stop herself from responding right away as the swarm of resting butterflies in her abdomen awakened and began to flutter around in circles.

“Very interested,” she said with a big smile, nodding. Stone mirrored her movement and hugged her closer.

“Great. Deal,” he chuckled and playfully ruffled her hair again as if he really wanted to drive the point home - she was still just his munchkin little shit of a roommate.

Thankfully, the conversation had to be cut there, because they reached the gas station. Meaning Keeva was naturally freed from the awkwardness that would definitely follow.

He opened the door for her, a never-fading smile still plastered on his face.

When they bought what they came for and paid for the gas, they headed back to the van and silence fell between them. And just as Keeva had expected, it was a long and incredibly awkward one.

Both of their arms were full of snacks and drinks, so Stone’s casual hug couldn’t save them this time. She side-eyed him discreetly enough so he wouldn’t notice - he was staring at his feet, studying the peeling suede leather on the tips of his Docs.

Shit. Why can’t I just read his fucking mind? Or maybe not.

Yeah, I think it’s better not to know.

Even after such a long pause, they both managed to take a breath at the same time to try and say something. They awkwardly chuckled in sync.

“Oh, you go on,” Keeva said, an uncomfortable burn settling in her cheeks. Stone shook his head, trying to whip away the few strands of his ponytail that got stuck in his mouth.

“No, you, come on,” he mumbled, waving his huge hand around.

She had to take a pause to formulate her thoughts, but there was no way to make her words sound any less dumb.

Keeva would stay silent if she didn’t know him as well as she did. But sometimes, like at this very moment, she could read his mind.

And she liked - loved Stone too much to throw the burden of having to say it out loud on him. The weight of that responsibility made her stutter even harder.

“Um, I mean - maybe let’s not, uh - let’s keep it as our little inside joke. Right? And not tell anyone. ‘Cause, you know, it’s not like we’re together or anything.”

Even though she knew how terribly hypocritical it was of her, she still couldn’t do anything but cry inside - the butterflies in her stomach stopped moving and aimlessly floated down, dead and slowly dissolving into bitter dust.

Because Stone didn’t even skip a beat with his answer.

“I love inside jokes,” he said, raising his eyebrows. Going back to the usual pattern, she couldn’t get a read on his real feelings at all. “I was about to say the same thing.”

Great.

“Great!”

“Jesus, can you imagine the outburst if they found out?” he continued with a scoff, popping his huge eyes open when he looked at her. “No way. That’s a part of the NDA you wanted.”

Now he was the one to spin into rambling.

“Plus it’s different than if we were, like, dating or something, right? Like, then I’d have no problem telling them, but we’re just having fun, aren’t we? And we can do that whenever, wherever and however we want because we’re fucking grown-ups and we’re authorized to make any decision without their dumb stupid comments, right? If we decide to fuck against a dusty vodka shelf in the corner of a room at a house party, we will fucking do it and we will take no shit from anyone. I mean, we trust each other enough to have a friendship that’s so strong that it can occasionally be sprinkled with amazing sex and it works fine because we’re both smart enough to fucking leave out stupid encumbering shit like ‘being in love’ or whatever. Basically, roundabout way of saying that our sex lives are none of their business.”

If Keeva didn’t know better, she’d think that he sounded like he was vehemently trying to convince himself, not her.

She didn’t need any convincing, though. She’d take anything that even slightly resembled his attention.

She could barely remember how her brain got to that point, but it was an insatiable feeling.

Pathetic.

As she watched Stone stumble his way through the incoherent explanation, he flapped his hands around to help himself formulate his thoughts. They were so comically big that he managed to hold four packs of chips in one of them and still wave left and right.

Even though Keeva was pretty sure that she would regret her decision sooner than later, it was once again his eyes that startled any common sense out of her.

They were still glowing - just like holding two peridot marbles to the flaming sun - and completely focused on her face.

As the butterflies slowly rose from the ashes in sync with his suspiciously oversaturated monologue, she felt a minuscule nagging feeling tingle at the back of her neck.

Something told her that he wasn’t being entirely honest - and in this single second in time, she couldn’t have wished for more if she tried.

“Right on.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

[grimmcheems]

Yakuza Hinami AU🌸

This has been brewing in my head as an idea for like years lmao😭. Idk but I always thought it’d be kinda cool if Hinami’s father was also an important figure in the underground of ghoul society aside from being a doctor bc Jason fr tore him up and Mado was on his ass too. That mixed with the fact that Hinami does become involved with ghoul society later on in canon made me love her even more.

They have her father’s kagune up on display as decor, she obtained it at some point and Akira is pissed about it(though she does not know it is being used this way), newer members don’t know why it’s there and think better than to ask directly, so the older members just got used to referring it as “Daddy”😬

I rly need to start providing the initial context to my ideas bc there’s so much that goes on in my head for my AU lores before I draw a particular setting of it and which characters I choose to include. Hinami is basically a selective mute in the beginning of this after her father is killed by Mado and her and her mother form a close relationship with a ghoul investigator (Nakajima, but before they figure out that Ryouko is one of heir suspects but after his partner is killed by Touka) Later on Hinami is on the run and living in disguise with Touka until her parents followers find her and try to raise her to be the next leader of the group.

The yakuza group is named “The Winds , which is sort of a play on how her parents were inspired by it when naming her, and sort of used as a one liner by elite group members and those who manage to escape the hands of the Doves by saying “it must’ve been the wind”(or something similar to that phrase, it it also how the Doves speak about them in public settings as to not cause alarm and used to brush off any inconveniences they experience from the group itself).

Uta is the spokesperson of The Clowns and they often butt heads with Hinami over territorial disputes and whatnot, so his visits are frequent and he is rather surprised when he sees her for the first time again when she’s older and sees just how far and high up she managed to climb in ghoul society. He mostly teases her and Yomo does not appreciate it. Yomo joined her group at some point because he wanted to maintain ties with Ayato, and he does reveal himself to be his and Touka’s uncle and last living relative (it always bothered me that he never said anything to either of them about that in canon but at least he treasures his niece)

I also gave Uta a lot of color, he was gonna be paler but I thought more color to his face would suit him. He also has a soft expression bc his eyes are closed.

Banjou sort of takes care of the more visual side of things when it comes to Hinami(he does her hair but who does her nails?!?), I love how they have a bond in canon but in this he’s mainly like a big brother and he is always concerned with the way she is presented to others because she’s their leader.

She practically becomes like a legend and spoken of like a myth by the CCG and has a SS(-) rating. They’ve never seen her in combat and only have her combat with Mado on her file record so they base it off that, and she never really has to step in because other people take care of things for her. However being the head of the group they gave her a high rating as well as factoring in her chimera type kagune she’s sure to deal a lot of damage to anyone who’d cross her path. A lot of the wierdo investigators dream of having parts of her like a trophy someday, hence the dialogue of an investigator wishing he could see her kagune up close and in action someday.