#I wish I liked myself better so I can have more confidence in situations like this

[yujaemna]

So yesterday I went to a Kpop rave, my cousin has a fanmade merch virtual store and she was promoting the event, so we went with two of her friends, it was fun, I felt like a third wheel most of the time but I mostly gave myself a good time heh, they are bts fans and of course they mostly played bts and ateez, ateez is getting really really big internationally, at least around were I live 👀 about my faves they only played call me baby and Cherry bomb but they also put some second gen jams that I totally enjoyed, it’s actually the first time I attend an event like this and it was fun, I just wished I had better company to rave with heh my cousin is lovely but she already had things prepared with her friends so I felt like sore thump sometimes

[slut4nicholas]

𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙊𝙉𝘼𝙇 𝙏𝙍𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙀𝙍 | 𝙉𝙄𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙇𝘼𝙎 𝘼𝙇𝙀𝙓𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙀𝙕

a/n: I'm currently awake at 4 am and unable to sleep ive been having some thoughts that I needed to release, and writing this is helping me feel better. this is my first time writing something explicit, so I apologize if it's not the best. please forgive any grammar mistakes. i hope you enjoy reading it. <3

summary: you are searching for a personal trainer and come across an online ad. after calling the trainer, he arranges a session at his home gym. things start to take a spicy turn between the two of you.

warning: smut! 18+ oral (m receiving), spanking, getting manhandled, fingering, pet names like “doll, babygirl” squirting, praising, degrading, rough!!

˖⋆࿐໋

when you move to california to pursue your dream of becoming a model or influencer, you leave behind your family, job, and friends. unfortunately, the move also means leaving behind your favorite place: the gym.

many label me a gym rat, but I simply embrace my love for the discipline it brings and the amazing confidence it gives me in everything I wear.

in the evening, while browsing through tiktok , i suddenly felt a wave of boredom. i let out a sigh, turned off my phone, and began searching for an engaging activity. normally, in situations like this, i would change into my favorite workout attire and head to the gym. however, as i am not at home, i need to find a gym or a personal trainer of my own in this new location.

i opened my macbook and started searching for personal trainers in my new area. I came across a profile of a man who seems to have a lot of experience in the gym and is conveniently located nearby. i must admit, he looks delicious. i decided to message him to arrange a meeting and inquire about his session rates. he responded promptly with his pricing and availability, and it turns out he's available tomorrow morning. as we exchanged goodbyes over text, my mind couldn't help but focus on meeting him in person. if I'm already feeling this way based on some online pictures, i can only imagine how I'll feel when we meet face to face.

i wake up suddenly to the sound of my alarm. as i pick up my phone, i see that it's 5:30. the familiar feeling of nervousness churns in my stomach as i realize that I'm in a new city, about to meet someone new. i made sure to wake up extra early just to ensure that i look my best.

after my shower, i breeze through my skincare routine and add a touch of mascara and some lip balm. I'm just heading to the gym, so nothing too over-the-top, i tell myself. i apply a light moisturizing lotion and a spritz of my favorite perfume. i slip into my matching black bra and thong, then into my sleek all-black workout set with cute black leggings and a fitted black tee. i slide on my nike socks and lace up my new balance 574’s. i brush my hair and secure it with a stylish claw clip, still debating whether to leave it down or tie it up. I'll make up my mind in the uber.

i send him a text to inform him that I'm on my way to the location he had sent me. he reads the message but doesn't reply. oh well, I'm on my way already.

as we pull into his driveway, i can't help but notice how stunning his house is. i wonder what he does for work; being in california, he must be wealthy or famous. i tip my uber driver in cash, thanking him for the ride, and he wishes me luck. I'm definitely going to need it.

i grab my phone out but before i can send him a text i hear a whistle which caught my attention i looked up seeing him standing next to his front door i can’t help but check him out and oh my goodness he’s more attractive in person i can just rip his clothes off right here and there but i have to remain calm im not here for that.

he is wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, with a gold chain around his neck. his hair is lightly stuck to his forehead, indicating that he had a workout before I arrived.

“hey there” he smiles and waves signaling me to come in with his hand

i smile back and step into his house him standing behind me the whole time closing the door and walking towards me

"I'm nicholas, I'm your trainer. It's nice to meet you." oh my, his smile. his smile. his smile. I'm going to fold, i know I am, but I have to keep my calm. i don't even know him. i don't know if he's single or even married.

“hi, i’m y/n” i take his hand shaking it lightly

"come on, don't be shy," he takes us to his gym and confidently sits down on a bench, gesturing for me to sit next to him with a wave of his hand.

so demanding already.

“so tell me a little bit about yourself, i know you told me you just moved here but what’s the reason for the move and why are you looking for a trainer?” he asked curiously.

“well, i moved here to cali so it’ll be easier for me to achieve some of my goals, i have some experience in the gym but i really feel like ill learn a lot more with a trainer if that makes any sense” you smile shyly causing nicholas to chuckle a little.

“no need to be shy sweetie im here to help you you already look great im sure you’ll do a great job” i cross my legs just at the sound of his voice saying those loving praises, oh i need him so bad.

he notices but tries not to make it so obvious he grabs his water bottle taking a sip and putting down standing up tapping the side of my thigh gently “come on let’s get started”.

we begin with some easy stretches to warm up before the actual run. i couldn't help but notice that he mostly stood there, watching, instead of actively instructing and guiding me, which did bother me a bit.

“do an extended puppy pose for me” i look up at him and he just winks OH. he knows what he’s doing so i decide to play along as well.

as i get on all fours getting ready to get in the pose arching my back a little i can see nicholas from the side of my eye starting so hard i can’t help but silently giggle to myself.

“am i doing this good enough nicholas?? how’s my arch looking” he chuckles at my words a little.

“oh you’re doing so good y/n, you look amazing but i think you need a little help here” he comes down next to me getting on his knees right behind my ass and pushing my arch down so my stomach is hitting the floor beneath me.

“just like that?” I question.

“just like that, good girl” those words sent shivers down my spine i let out a soft sigh.

“what’s the matter sweetie?” he questioned.

i shake my head not responding to him “can we just do the next exercise?” i get on my knees so i can stand up but he comes in front of me putting one hand on my shoulder keeping me on my knees.

“let’s do some leg spreads i’ll help and guide you”.

i lay on the mat on my back and nicholas gets down on his knees again grabbing one of my legs bending it back a little.

“let’s start of slow sweetie i don’t want to hurt you”.

after doing a couple of reps nicholas stops and can’t help but notice something.

he chuckled “someone’s excited?”.

“what?” i ask not getting exactly what he’s talking about.

he spreads my leg a little further back.

“you’re so wet you’ve leaked through your panties it’s all on those leggings of yours”.

“i-im so sorry i-“ he cut me off.

“don’t worry about it doll, im having way more fun than you could possibly imagine” he bends down to kiss me and i went full in, tongue and everything.

after a few minutes of us making out he rips open my leggings with his bare hands which caused me to throw my head back and lightly groan, his eyes burning into my skull the whole time. never once taking those beautiful brown eyes off of me.

he pulls my panties to the side.

grabbing my mouth harshly “open and spit”.

i did as told, he sticks them in my mouth reaching the back of my throat causing to me gag.

he laughed and smiled “think you take all of my dick in there huh babygirl?”.

he pulled my panties to the side and started playing with me lightly flicking the clit and switching between fingering me and playing with my clit.

the groans escaping his mouth seemed a little animalistic like he hasn’t touched a woman in a very long time he’s eager and i can tell he wants to fuck me into the ground literally. 

“mmm you’re so fucking wet, you’ve been excited since you got here hm? or was it those photos i sent you last night that has you like this for me? horny and ready to get fucked by her trainer? it’s only day one babygirl and here you are legs spread open pussy juice dripping all over my fucking fingers, what am i going to do with you”.

i moan loudly his words. his actions. the sounds. everything just feels and sounds so fucking good i didn’t want him to stop.

“oh im gonna come” i felt the urge to release the feeling you get in your stomach when you know your going to cum and go crazy “please dont stop nicholas”.

“such a fucking good girl” he kept pumping his big thick fingers in and out of me which caused me to release all over his gym floor.

“oh shit baby, look at you fuck” he says rubbing my clit on a fast pace, i grabbed his hand trying to get him to stop since it feels way to good to handle.

“please” he grabs my face and kisses me harshly shoving his tongue all down my throat saliva dripping down in between the both of us.

“come on take this off” he removes my shirt and bra taking off what’s rest of the leggings throwing it somewhere in the gym.

he takes his shirt and sweats off leaving him completely exposed no boxers or anything on, he knew what he wanted to do.

“come on baby get on your knees let’s see if you can fit this dick all in that pretty mouth of yours, gagging on two fingers. that’s pathetic sweetheart you got to do better than that”.

i get on my knees and take his member into my hand lightly kissing and licking his desperate throbbing dick leaking pre cum everywhere, i quickly take my tongue and clean up the mess he made.

“now this is a great mouth exercise for you pretty you’ll love it” he laughs and i roll my eyes member still in my mouth looking up at him not breaking eye contact.

“oh come on” he pushes my head down taking his whole dick into my mouth repeatedly touching the back of my throat i tap and grab on his thighs signaling i needed to breath and catch my breath, he threw his head back in pleasure looking back down grabbing my hair and pulling me off of his dick.

“told you you couldn’t take it”

“mmm stop let me do it” i pout he reaches his hand and cups my cheek and caressing my hair rubbing circles on the top of my head.

i grab his dick taking him all in and taking him out grabbing it and lightly jerking him off, as i continue to jerk him off i suck off what’s left that i couldn’t fit in my mouth.

“mm fuck”

“just like that baby”

“such a good fucking girl for me”

i take him in once again feeling him twitch making sure he’s hitting the back of my throat so i can swallow all of his sweet juices.

he grabs my hair making it into a makeshift ponytail fucking my face at the perfect pace for him, he looks so good he can just take control and do what he wants at this point.

i feel him twitch again which means he’s super close this time he didn’t let me go he made sure he stayed in the back of my throat resting his cock in my mouth while he released all inside of my mouth.

“swallow that shit baby be a good fucking girl for me”

oh boy, this is just the first session i wonder what’s going to happen next time.

˖⋆࿐໋



[harunayuuka2060]

WHB Series #1 (Cont.)

Satan, Mammon, Leviathan, Beelzebub, Belphegor, and Lucifer: *are in a meeting to discuss the situation in heaven*

Leviathan: Over the past few weeks, we've been hearing cries from above, followed by silence, only for the sound to repeat again.

Leviathan: It appears the slaughter of angels is still ongoing.

Lucifer: Let’s not forget that young devils are being released and sent to the countries best suited to their abilities.

Lucifer: I've recently received ten young devils.

Mammon: Not bad. I've got 30 young devils.

Beelzebub: *chuckles* Well, it seems that Belphie and I are the only kings who haven’t been given young devils.

Belphegor: It's because the descendant of Solomon thinks we're irresponsible.

Belphegor: *smiles* Not that they're wrong though.

Satan: Have got any news on what MC is doing?

Leviathan: ...

Leviathan: I've tried going there myself, but it seems the security has been tightened, making it difficult for outsiders to enter.

Leviathan: However, I encountered two angels who willingly told me what the descendant of Solomon was up to.

Leviathan: And according to them, they-

Random Angel A: ...Fixing the system.

Random Angel B: We may be assigned to the human world for our new duties.

The kings: ...

Satan: Ah, it reminds me of their military training.*laughs*

Mammon: Anything else?

Leviathan: ...

Leviathan: Foras will attempt to visit them next time.

Mammon: I see. Oh, I almost forgot.

Mammon: Are we going to call them 'god' the next time we meet?

Satan: No, don't do that.

Lucifer: I agree. I doubt the descendant of Solomon would like it.

Belphegor: Huh... But didn't you say so yourself that they're the reincarnation of god?

Lucifer: I did; however, for them, it was all an act to subdue the angels.

Beelzebub: That's true. Besides, I don't think 'love' is even in their vocabulary.

Satan: Hey! They can love!

Leviathan: Yes. Love for animals.

The kings: ...

MC: *with their head resting on Michael's lap as they look through the names of the remaining angels*

Michael: ...

Gabriel and Raphael: ...

Raphael: God, you could have used me as your pillow. I'd be more than willing.

MC: You and Gabriel won't stop fighting, so it's better this way.

Michael: 'Better this way'? Are you confident that I won't kill you?

MC: *looks at him with a bored expression*

MC: You've had many chances to kill me, including this one.

MC: It's not my fault you're incompetent.

Michael: ...

Raphael and Gabriel: ...

MC: *sigh* *gets up*

MC: Gabriel, Raphael, let's go.

MC: There are still rats lurking in the corners of heaven. *talking about the angels who escaped Raphael and Gabriel*

Foras: Is this what they're doing now?

MC: *watches as the lower-rank angels get killed*

Foras: ...

MC: What are you doing here, Foras? Did Leviathan send you?

Foras: !!!

Foras: ...

Foras: Yes.

MC: What for?

Foras: His Majesty has been curious about what you've been up to.

MC: You can see for yourself.

Foras: ...

MC: Raphael.

Raphael: *turns to look at them* *smiles* Yes, god?

MC: ...

MC: I noticed that some of them are good-looking ones. Who created them?

Raphael: They're angels under Michael's guidance.

MC: Ah. Save their heads. I'm going to recycle them.

Raphael: ...

Foras: *his eyes widened*

Raphael: ...

Raphael: As you wish, god.

Gabriel: ...

Gabriel: *begins crushing the heads of the dead angels beneath his feet*

MC: Gabriel, that's enough.

Gabriel: But—

MC: *gives him a stern look*

Gabriel: ... *blushes*

Foras: ...

Foras: It seems you have it under control.

MC: *proud smile* Right?

Raphael and Gabriel: *thinking that the smile is for them*

Raphael: *accidentally crushed the head he's holding*

Raphael: ...

Gabriel: Pft—

MC: ...

MC: What a shame. I liked that one.

Raphael: ...

Raphael: I'll be more careful next time.

Foras: ...

Leviathan, Barbatos, and Glasyalabolas: ...

Glasyalabolas: I wish I could've seen that myself.

Barbatos: Did they tell you what they would do with those?

Foras: No.

Leviathan: ...

Foras: Your Majesty?

Leviathan: ...

Leviathan: *chuckles* Let's wait to find out what it is.

[kittyhui]

exes to lovers! seungcheol x reader

!!MDNI!!

[seungcheol ended your five year long relationship seemingly out of nowhere, leaving you heartbroken. two years after your breakup, you release your solo album, song written about the heartbreak you felt. now, seungcheol is trying to get your love back]

cw: idol x idol, angst w/ comfort, semi public sex, not grammar checked well😭

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“I think we should break up” is all Seungcheol says to you, sad in his eyes.

He walks out of your apartment, not staying to listen to your cries and pleads, asking for an explanation on why he was so suddenly doing this. He was a completely different person from the last time you saw him; his love-filled eyes replaced with cold and sad ones.

You tried to contact him multiple times after that; calls and messages never answered, leaving you and your heart shattered, your members having to pick up the pieces. A five year old relationship gone in a flash, without a reason, without even a thought of why. Did i do something wrong? Did he grow tired? Was there.. someone else? The situation hurt you so badly, that even fans could tell something was wrong. Your relationship was a secret from fans and from your company, save from the members. Your performance during promotions were off and it took you almost a full year to get back on your game, taking a hiatus at one time because it was just so bad. but you were feeling better now. It’s now past your two year breakup anniversary, and though you think about the good times of your old relationship, you weren’t consumed with grief anymore. You felt much better, better than ever. Better enough to release your first solo album, songs written from that time.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[interviewer] So, What was the thought process behind this album?

[Y/N] All these songs are a part of a giant collection of songs while i was going through a lot of feelings haha. Most of these were my inner thoughts and feelings that I couldn't express to anyone else so I wrote them out. they’ve only now came out because I was finally confident in myself and these songs after years and my members helped build my courage to share them with you all.

[Interviewer] I’m happy that you were finally able to overcome your fears with your songs.

[Y/N] Thank you so much

[Interviewer] Do you think you could go more in depth about the song meanings?

[Y/n] Yea, of course. The first song on the album can be interpreted in multiple ways in my opinion. When I wrote this, I was thinking about someone I loved truly. I wrote this wishing that the way they ended it could’ve been that we just fell out of love. I wanted us to be tired of each other, to just want it to be over and so I wrote this point of view wishing this was the reality, even though I knew how much I still loved them. It’s very sad and kinda pathetic but yea haha.

For the second track, I wrote this because in this same relationship, the way we broke up was so rushed and I was not ready for it. I felt like they didn’t even feel anything towards me anymore and it broke me down so much. By the end of the song, I kinda accept it as the end and try to let them go.

Ah~ This third track was actually wrote when i was first in that relationship. We were both falling hard and fast and I had to let it out in a way. I can’t really explain more.

[Interviewer] And lastly, the fully english track?

[Y/N] This one really talks about how even if I’ll be in another relationship in the future, I’ll only think about and try to find them in the other person. I wrote this the latest out of all of them. I knew I was still in love with this person even though it’s been years since the breakup but I know I’ll always see them as my first and only love even if they don’t see me the same way.

[Interviewer] These are all truly beautiful songs

[Y/N] Thank you

[Interviewer] We just have a few more questions before we say goodbye today. Firstly, You said these songs were in a collection of other songs, will you release the rest of them as well?

[Y/N] Maybe, I’m surprised I got away making this album so hopefully I can push my companies limits a tad more.

[Interviewer] Next question, This relationship you sing about seemed really intense. Was it a long one?

[Y/N] Yea, It dont think I can go into too many details but it was a pretty serious relationship. When it ended, I took it very hard. I liked them for a long time before too so it was rough haha

[Interviewer] Last question, Because you produce and write songs for your group, Have you ever wrote about this relationship in those songs?

[Y/N] Honestly I couldn’t tell you. I try not to because I’m still not the best about this relationship I was in but it’s probably slipped in a few songs unfortunately haha

[Interviewer] Thank you so much for coming onto my show today!

[Y/N] I’m honored to be asked here for an interview, thank you. I’d also like to say thank you to my fans and anyone else who is listening in! Please enjoy my new album!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Needless to say, your interview was seen by alot of people. Neitzens have been picking it apart since it came out, speculating on the mystery person you were talking about. Your fans were both happy for you and angry for you; ready to fight the person who broke your heart. Though the publicity was great for your album sales and streams, the constant news was really tiring now, especially now that you were promoting at music shows. Music shows that your ex, S.Coups of Seventeen, was also promoting at with his group. Singing a song about your heartbreak in the same place of the person who hurt you so bad, was awkward to say the least. The waiting room of the music show was the worst. passing by him and his group makes your heart pound. His eyes follow you when you pass by each other. you try not to meet his eyes. Your heart just couldn’t handle it. Your still wanted him yet you hated him at the same time. You wanted to kiss him again but also wanted to hit him. The last conversation you both had together was him breaking up with you. He hurt you so badly yet you yearned for him.

So when he approached you before your performance, you felt conflicted.

“Y/n?” The familiar voice fills your ears and you look up at the man standing infront of your sitting figure.

“Seungcheol? What are you doing” You didn’t actually think he would speak to you again, but here he was.

“Can we- can we talk?” He pauses, licking his lips nervously “I know you probably never want to speak to me ever again but I just want a second of your time.”

“You really have horrible timing. I going on stage in a few minutes. Please don’t do this now. You had two years to talk about this,” You look away from his, glancing to the side “We can talk.. after the music show is over. Don’t expect too much, though” You stand and walk to the stairs of the stage and he sighs, agreeing to meet later on.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The music show ends entirely too quickly for your liking, leg bouncing nervously in your dressing room and when you hear a knock at the door you know it’s Seungcheol. You open the door, the man in front of you quickly walking in and closing the door again.

“Y/n..” He sighs

“Seungcheol,” You try to sound disinterested but inside you just want to hug him. “Please just say what you have to say”

“I just want to say I’m so sorry for the way I ended things. I know I hurt you beyond belief and it hurts that I hurt you. I watched your interview and.. god.. I care about you so much.. I never wanted to break up with you but I had to..” His eyes brim with tears and he lets out a haggard breath.

“Then why did you? Five years, Seungcheol. I loved you for five years, hell, I still love you after what you did, but, just why? I felt like I wasted all those years for nothing. I want to marry you… I wanted to have everything with you.. You were my first everything and you hurt me like I was nothing..” You were choking on your tears at this point, the salty liquid pooling in you lips “You were more than just a boyfriend to me, Seungcheol. You were the love of my life.”

“Y/n.. I.. I didn’t break up because I wanted to.. your company found out.. they threatened your career if I didn’t break up with you.. I tried to convince them to let us be, but they were persistent and my company was pressuring me as well.. I shouldve fought for you more.. I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you what was happening but… I was a coward. I never stopped loving you, y/n.. You’re the love of my life too. I had every intention of being with you until the day I died, and I want to fight for you now even though I didn’t before.”

The shock of what he said lingers in your mind. You look at him without saying anything. He sat down next to you, letting you process his words. After some time you finally spoke.

“I dont know what to say,” You start “I believe you even though that means my company did this too me but.. I dont know. I want to forgive you. I want you, Cheol. I want you to be in my life again. but it took me so long to recover from this. I dont know if we’ll ever be what we were before,” He looks down at his feet in defeat “But we can try..” He looks up at you again, eyes brightening.

He finally smiles, “You dont understand how badly I missed you…” He hugs you tightly before looking into your eyes and then looking down at your lips “can I..” You nod slowly, waiting for his lips to touch yours.

He kisses your lips with hunger, holding on to you for fear you might run away “Missed you.. Misses your touch.. ‘m so sorry, my love” He pushes you flat on the couch you were sitting on, kissing you face and neck with desire. He missed this so much. “I love you, baby. Please let me make you feel good.. Love you..” You whine at his words, hips grinding up at his.

“l-love you too, Cheolie.. Please.. Need you so bad” Your hands move up and down his clothed back. “Please..missed you too” He kisses you quickly, breaking away to remove the both of your clothes.

“Just a gorgeous as I remember,” He mutters under his breath. You can feel his hard member on your stomach, moaning at the anticipation of having him after so long. “Need to be inside you so bad, baby”

“mhm please, cheolie..“ You pull him closer, begging him to do anything.

“shhh, ill take care of you, baby.” he coos at you, finally pushing in, “shit- so tight.. you feel so good baby” he brushes the hairs out of your face, kissing your forehead gently. “So good for me, my love”

“Please move- Please I need it. Cheolie- Needed this so bad” You sob as he finally starts to roll his hips into yours, groans falling from his mouth.

“God- y-you’re too good, baby. Am I making you feel good, hm?” He fucks into you faster, rougher, breathlessly calling out your name into your ear.

“yes yes makin’ me feel so good- gonna cum soon” You hips rut into his, determined to make both of you cum.

“b-baby” He pushes your hips back into the couch, “Be good- i’ll let you cum, promise…” He breathes out hot breath, eyes blown wide as he pounds into you; your heat sucking him in dangerously. “Cum for me please, need you to cum, baby.”

Your desperation for each other was unmatched and you were sure that the people walking past your dressing room can hear the obscene noises coming from it, but you could care less. The pleads for more came out if your mouth like a ritual and Seungcheol knew you were close. One of his hands grip your own, telling you to cum, and what else can you do when his cock twitches inside of you so deliciously. You cry out his name once more before cumming hard. Feeling you pulse around him, he fills you up with spurts of his hot cum in you. “Fuck, did you so good, my love. I love you so much” He breathes out, pecking your lips once again.

You look into his eyes, dazed, and welling with tears again. His happy demeanor changes ones again. “Hey. Hey, Y/n. What’s wrong? Did i do something?” He looks you up and down, checking for injuries. Making sure he didn’t fuck this up again.

“No- i just- i just missed you so much, Cheolie,” you cry out. “Love you so much..” His arms are around you before you can even say another word. He murmurs I love you’s into your ears, kissing the tears rolling down your face.

“I love you too, baby. let’s go home hm?”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

a/n: these are the songs i used as reference for the solo album songs:

1. Can’t Love You Anymore - IU

2. Goodbye - OOHYO

3. Fallin’ - Yoon Hyun Sang

4. Glimpse of Us - Joji

this was so spur of the moment #loveit

[beneathashadytree]

A little bit of a heavy post… tw/ abuse

I’ve put up with my mom and her literal insanity for 12+ years. Prior to that, she’d been completely normal. I’m well aware that she’s depressed, and has NPD, but that’s not my cross to bear. I’m not supposed to tolerate intense abuse—verbal and physical—for over a decade and just let it slide.

The only reason why I did was because I literally have nowhere to go. I couldn’t confide in anyone or get help, because that would only make my situation worse. I’m too poor to make any drastic decisions, and I can’t even move out. So today, I decided to reach out to my father.

He’s a heart patient and can’t do much, I know that. She doesn’t even listen to him either, only tried to pay for medication sometimes and completely ignores his existence otherwise. But he’s the first person irl that I’ve opened my heart to. He’s a good man to his core. Flawed at times, but that’s only natural. He’s listened to me, and even treated me out to dessert despite our financial situation (I do feel bad about that, but a small part of me wishes to be like everyone else around me). He treated me with the affection I’ve been craving for ages. He was sorry that he couldn’t do more. I’m just glad I have him.

I know it’s unlikely for anything to change, especially considering that she doesn’t listen to anyone but herself—yes, not even her own husband. But I feel that at least having unburdened myself of the emotional pain I’ve carried since I was around 9 has made me feel a little better. Having someone who listens matters. I hope I can one day escape. I wish I didn’t have to go through this in the first place.

[ryuichirou]

Which twst characters do you and katsu relate to the most or which match your personalities the most?

Oh Anon, you have no idea how excited I am about your ask… Because I already had the pleasure of agonising over this question a year ago, but Katsu didn’t! Now it’s Katsu’s turn to be uncomfortable and vulnerable! So I am as pumped to read this post as you are to be honest lol

I’ll still give you a TL;DR about my situation first though, in case you don’t want to read my old post: I relate to a lot of characters in for a lot of reasons (I think all of us do), and I definitely named a lot of boys lol But those who I have the most kinship with are probably Kalim, Rook, Ortho, Sebek, Azul, Lilia. I mentioned a couple of other guys in my old post, but they either have one specific trait that I find very relatable, or wishful thinking lol

If I had to pick three that I feel second-hand embarrassment from because of recognising some of my traits in their bullshit, I’d say it’s Kalim, Azul and Sebek. What a combination, I know. But my reasoning from the linked post is still the same….

But also! You know what? There is one addition to the list I’d like to make. I think it’s time to admit that I also want to strangle Trey from time to time because of how similar his attitude feels. I don’t think that I  as much of a people-pleaser as I used to be when I was a teen, but there are still moments when I catch myself thinking “I don’t even want to bother with that, it’s easier to give them a non-answer and keep my actual opinion to myself”. This + a bunch of other corny and stupid shit argGghhhh wait do I hate Trey Clover? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Alright, I’m done lol Thank you for your question! Now for the Katsu’s part:

Katsu:

I’m about to make this post 100 times more awkward with my list lol There’s practically no difference in both of your description, so I’ll treat them interchangeably, Anon, as you probably intended.

I asked for Ryu’s assistance for these explanations because my mind went blank when I sat down to write them.

Also, I’m sorry I wrote so much 😱 I wanted to explain everyone to some extent and it seems I can’t shut up... I’m also very sorry if I sound very entitled. It’s surprisingly hard to write something like this, and I end up sounding like I’m constantly sucking my own dick with “look at how cool I am”. This is very embarrassing, please don’t read this post.

I’m a very generic bitch, so my most relatable/similar character is Idia, like he is for a lot of other people. He has it all: our takes on a lot of things is similar, including the nasty ones; apparently, we’re both good at reading other people’s character; he’s very cynical and has a negative outlook on life; the way we view certain things; our priority for quality time and spending it with those we care about; all the teasing and rude things that he does I actually do as well; our... ehh independence of our views?? idk how to say this better, just coming to conclusions on our own instead of taking the most popular option; Ryu thinks I’m smart (I’m not, and I’m especially not a tech genius and I’m actually bad at playing videogames), but I’d rather name it swings between “I’m a genius” and “I’m shit”, this constant desire to be as objective as possible even when referring to yourself while acknowledging subjective opinions when they’re unavoidable; our relationship with people is terrible in a similar way; the way he puts others down and then himself as well is sometimes word for word what I’ve said to Ryu for all those years we’ve known each other, so self-criticism; our love for art and anime in particular, though I don’t watch or read much anymore; his social... everything, his fear of interactions, his confidence in other people judging him all the time and thinking he’s cringe; his attempts to disappear and go unnoticed; the fact he gives up before even trying a lot of times. I can go on and on... It’s easier to tell where we’re different – I’m not that bold online, I just silently lurk; my internet slang is lackluster at best; I don’t play games that much and I’m not a huge fan of multiplayer games... which might seem nitpicky, but I consider it to be an important part of his personality. I feel like I’ve just tried to describe Idia instead of explaining anything lol Sorry

Jamil is also very relatable, he’s pretty similar to Idia personality wise (at least some of the qualities I mentioned), so I won’t repeat myself in terms of his personality. He’s also tired from everyone’s bullshit. Jamil’s desire for travelling and his love for calm times where everything around is quiet should be mentioned. He has to babysit Kalim, and sometimes I have to do something similar – nobody asks me to, but all this micromanagement that he does for Kalim like organising perfect conditions for him, making sure that everything’s right and being prepared to unpredictable events, although I’m not as consistent as Jamil in this regard. I’m the one to buy tickets, book places, come up with routes, make sure nothing’s forgotten, figure out at what time happens what, where to buy this and that thing, how to get to some place, and other things like that. It’s not like Ryu can’t do this stuff (except for getting somewhere, this bitch has no sense for directions), I just don’t allow it a lot of times lol We don’t want accidents. Ryu also sometimes gets praised for things that I do, that can be super annoying, that’s why I hate it when Ryu tries to brag about me.

Vil... gets a similar reaction from me as he does from Epel. I’d hate to know him irl, although a lot of points he makes are actually very true. He holds himself and others to a very high standard which is what I also do, but we do it in different areas. We both workout, although I’m nowhere near his routine or his diet, of course, but the discipline aspect of it is important. The most similar thing is our passion for True Art, the way we view it, the way we approach it, and the way we understand how audience works. Our love for cinema, I watch a lot of movies, but I’m not a nerd when it comes to them. I’m not a film bro- oh wait I actually am. The more you know. Also, all the movies Ryu watches usually come from me.

Ace – the entire first book, from the moment he got a cauldron dropped on him (before that I wanted to punch him). He’s somewhat chill, he doesn’t like anyone’s bs and he hates rules that don’t make sense. He’s relaxed to a certain degree (sometimes too much lol), and the things he appreciate in relationships (both friendly and romantic) are the same for me. Our love for fun stuff, to a certain degree for me though, but not the same level of irresponsibility, as I’m usually the one to chicken out and bail. Not always, though! Ace also gets a grasp of things quickly, but forgets them just as fast.

Floyd – the desire to tease/bully serious people is too strong 😔 Plus, extreme mood swings with losing interest, but these are not nearly as common as his. Sometimes you have tons of fun, and then a second later, in an instant, you lose the spark.

Malleus – we just like to wander somewhere... his love for ruins, but I’m yet to meet someone who doesn’t like them or their aesthetics lol His isolation, and Ryu says the way we say/ask/do things sometimes is similar. Also most based overblot reason ever (same for Idia and Vil though). I’d probably be able to point out his character traits better if we saw book 7, but that’s it for now.

Epel – he hates girly stuff lmao His toxic masculinity is relatable for my teen years, and the way his speech is impolite (in my case, I just swear a lot though). He’s somewhat of a slow learner and he cringes from doing cute and girly stuff.

Deuce – he is so adorable... ahem. The way he struggles with learning is relatable, and the feeling when you put yourself fully into something and still fail. I managed to get great/normal marks, but the amount of knowledge I actually have is laughable. Deuce is very earnest, me too, in some ways, but I’m not nearly as proactive as he is. I wouldn’t bother.

Leona – sometimes I get bored in the middle of the day and go to sleep lol Usually it happens when Ryu’s around and draws something, and we have only one desk, so there’s nothing for me to do. Leona’s also lazy. That’s the entire reason Leona is on this list.

[ariaste]

Hi! Regarding your recent post about how you taught your writing workshops, I was reading through it and was feeling very inspired (you sound amazing as a teacher), but I also really wish I had a community like that. Since I'm currently focusing on an original work, I was wondering how do you go about finding fellow writers/betas that you can trust with work and form a mutual writing relationship with? I've looked for and joined many communities like Nanowrimo and discord servers over the years, yet nothing seemed to click? So yeah sorry for the bother but I was wondering if you had any advice :D

Re: "you sound amazing as a teacher" -- aw thanks! I was an INCREDIBLE teacher. That might sound kind of vain to say with so much assurance, but it truly was the first time in my life where I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was doing a really, really fucking good job. (And that's WITH my anxiety, so like. Oof.) I just set out on purpose to be the kind of teacher I always longed to have when I was an apprentice writer, and that got me most of the way there. The rest was just spite for all the shitty creative writing classes I'd had before LOL. I'd already seen all the mistakes myself from the other side, so I just came up with better ways of doing things. And then day one of class, I had them all do a self-assessment of what they wanted to learn in the class, what fears they had, etc, and I was really struck by how universal the sense of insecurity and under-confidence was in all their replies. So that just confirmed what I already suspected, to wit: my ONE JOB (and again, this was a "writing and publishing scifi/fantasy" class) was just to hammer in the idea of, "Your ideas ARE cool, the things you think are cool ARE IN FACT COOL, you ARE allowed to write about queer dragons or whatever and that's an awesome thing to be doing and I'm HERE FOR IT." If the one thing a student takes from a creative writing class is more confidence in their writing and more trust in themself, then the goal has been achieved. If a teacher says anything else, we're verging on snobbery (Iowa Writer's Workshop can go get fucked btw)

ANYWAY.

Finding a beta you click with is a lot like finding a friend or a romantic partner who you click with. That is: there's a lot of fish in the sea, but not all of them are going to be right for you, and sometimes it takes a while to find that special person. It sounds like you're doing all of the right things, though, so just keep at it.

That said, a couple lifehacks: do NOT talk about your work with the vibes of "hey, i'm looking for a beta, does anyone want to beta for me?" because (at least in my experience) those acquaintances often turn out to be sort of transactional and shallow -- think of people who walk into any situation like "hey will you be my girlfriend? i'm looking for a girlfriend. do you want to date me as my girlfriend??? will someone please be my girlfriend?" rather than trying to make genuine connections with people as *people* versus the role that the girlfriend-seeker wants to put them in. (Exception to this: Fandom-specific servers where you are looking for a beta for a fic. Then it's less weird to ask out loud for a beta, because you've already established a mutual shared interest/passion. It's not cold-calling in the same way, you get me??)

Instead, aim to project vibes of "I'm having so much fun playing in my sandbox :) I am having so much fun by myself, maybe too much fun in fact [psychically broadcasting that the fun is in such abundance around here that there would be enough to share if someone happened to wander past...]" Post about your work, talk about it in public, give people little excerpts or tidbits you're proud of. Look for people who express interest in the sort of fun you're having, and then start up conversations about it. Look for people who are having the sort of fun of their own that you're interested in, compliment them on it and ask questions, and build a relationship. (If they're writing the sort of thing you're into, chances are that you're writing the sort of thing they're into. Not always, but frequently!)

Sometimes it is possible to take an existing friend who is interested in your work (or at least supportive of it and loving of you) and kind of train them into being a great beta reader even if they themselves are not really a writer. It takes a lot of self-knowledge of what you're looking for and what you need in terms of feedback, it takes some patience and trust in your relationship with them, it takes the ability to negotiate boundaries and ask really good questions, and it takes a friend who is game to try and who likes the sort of things you like. (Personal recommendation: Don't try to get feedback from someone who isn't even interested in the genre that you're writing. A dedicated literary fiction fan is probably going to have a REAL hard time appreciating your gruesome scifi horror book for what it is, and if they're not familiar with the genre conventions, their suggestions are predisposed to be kind of Weird and Not Right For What You're Writing. Accept their love and support, but also accept that neither of you are going to have a good time if they try to beta for you.)

Trying to build relationships in an open community like a forum or a Discord server is a good way to cast a wide net, but all deep lasting relationships happen on a single line between you and the other person, so look for opportunities to talk to people one-on-one in DMs to build that kind of creative intimacy.

It takes time! But if you're open about the things that are bringing you joy and you're talking about them and setting them out in plain sight, the right people will eventually be drawn to your joy/fun like moths to a flame. Humans cannot resist that shit.

If you've been doing that and it's still not working, check in with yourself -- is your project actually bringing you joy, or are you going through the motions? Readjust, reorient yourself, try again. Lean into it. Go hard or go home. If you're really truly genuinely having fun by yourself, then your eventual readers will too.

If you're doing all THAT and it's STILL not working (that is, if people are expressing initial interest but you can't hold their attention and they wander off once they read your work), then that's a signal that you've got a tension problem.

GOOD LUCK. You will find your people eventually, just keep going! :)

[deadbydangit]

I found you recently 🌸

Can you do Pyramid Head, Ghost Face, and Legion (Frank) with an S/O virgin, no experience at all and quite nervous about it? 🫣

I'll show myself out 🫡😳

No worries at all, I'm going to add another killer to it if that's alright. Let's see what I can do. I really hope this is what you wanted. Please enjoy.

With a virgin reader NSFW

Ghostface, (Legion) Frank, Pyramid Head, Deathslinger

Ghostface

He's ready to get down and dirty.

But you've been so skittish about it the last few times he's stopped.

He thought you were nervous about being fucked by the great Ghostface that you couldn't handle it.

Once he figures out the truth, then he's a lot more understanding of the situation.

Danny might need some advice from some of the more friendly killers.

Sally and Evan might be the ones to offer advice.

He may be kind of an asshole.

But he isn't a monster.

Next time you go to see him, he puts up the most romantic setting he can manage in the realm.

Flowers, candles, the works.

"Don't worry baby. Deep breaths. I promise I'll go easy. Okay?"

He's obviously holding back.

And it's for you.

He's going to verbally walk you through every step.

"You're doing good."

He's going to play it up a bit.

"God, you're amazing. You feel so good."

He wants to boost your confidence in it.

He won't cum inside or on top of you.

He doesn't want to make things too stressful.

He might not be a pro at aftercare.

But for this special moment, he's really going to try.

Water, a warm bath, anything you'd like.

He's so proud of you for overcoming your fears.

He is going to cuddle you all night.

That part isn't an option.

But you can't say no to his cuddles.

Legion (Frank)

Why didn't you say so sooner?

Yeah, he's got a lot of experience.

But he remembers his first time.

He remembers the jitters and anxiety.

But he also remembers how his partner wasn't making it special or easy for him.

He is going to make it special for you.

As much as he'd love to fuck you in the snow or by the fire place or some other crazy location, he won't.

At least, not this time.

He'll take you to the bedroom.

And Frank will take extra measures and make sure the rest of the Legion members know what's going on.

They'll find somewhere else for the night.

They're understanding enough to give you and Frank privacy.

He'll start with some kisses.

Slowly trailing them down your body.

And he'll ask you before he does anything

"I'm going to take your shirt off, okay?"

He really is a gentleman about it.

And he will sing praise to you the whole time.

"God, you're beautiful. I mean just look at you."

He could tell you were finished, so he pulled out early.

He didn't get to finish, but that was okay with him, he can take care of that later.

Right now, it's all about you.

Ask him to get you whatever you want and it's going to be there.

He'll tuck you in and wait there till you fall asleep.

He just can't figure out how he ended up with someone as perfect as you.

Pyramid Head

Oh. Really?

He was so touched to hear of your purity.

His own special angel.

But he really wishes he wasn't your first.

Everyone is small compared to him.

Naturally, he's going to be big.

He also isn't too well versed in human needs.

He won't know what you need if anything should happen.

What if he hurt you?

He'd never forgive himself.

Just the idea of hurting his angel made him weak.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to.

And, if you'd rather try it some other way, he'd be happy to help.

And, maybe that would be a better start.

Let's start with just fingers?

That sounds safer.

At least till you've both gotten a better feel for it.

He'll ease in one finger and start moving.

Nice and easy.

You tell him if you want more or less.

He's here for you.

He is rock hard, but he can take care of that later.

He can tell when you're finished.

He's going to hold you to his chest in the sweetest hug.

He can't believe you'd give him your purity.

He might not have taken your flower, but that's something you both could ease into.

Until then, this was nice.

Deathslinger

Caleb can be a little rough at times.

But with how much his body can ache he's usually pretty soft.

But now he's going to go softer.

After all, you get this only once in your life.

His place isn't the most romantic, so going to at least try and make the room more comfortable.

Cleaner sheets, cover up that big open window with whatever he can find, provide some lighting.

And he's going to find you some flowers before hand.

You deserve it.

"Now Darlin', you tell me if anything hurts. You promise me that."

He's a bit strict about it. But he really just wants to make sure you're enjoying yourself.

And, more importantly, that you're safe.

He'd prefer to be on top, but if that scares you too much, he'll take the bottom.

He's going to guide you through it the best he can.

"You settled in. I'm going to start moving, okay?"

He'll keep praising and kissing you as he goes.

Anything to make you feel better.

He isn't going to drag this out.

He'll make sure you finish before he does.

And, as much as he would love to, he won't cum inside of you.

That might be too much the first time.

He'll sit you down next to him, make sure you're feeling okay.

Need anything? He's got you covered.

"Now lay down Darlin', you did real good."

And he's going to stay awake till you fall asleep.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi INFJ here. I have self-worth issues probably due to being small and petite. I'm shorter than most of my family members and many people on the street. This makes me feel insecure and unable to defend and protect myself or loved ones and look efficient and trustable. One reason is that I think it can make me an easier target to take advantage of, insult, boss, dominate, threaten, harm, punch, fight, not take seriously or disrespect.

I generally try to be peaceful and nice or at least neutral to people. But occasionally I face people or situations where I may be disrespected, insulted or provoked in some way. Or situation where I have to choose to stand my ground or be a pushover.

The problem is that I am not confident in my abilities to handle these kinds of situations correctly, and usually engage in avoidant strategies and then later ruminating and self-blaming.

In awkward situations like rude drivers or road rage, rude clerks or office workers, mean coworkers or etc, I try to convince myself that avoiding confrontation is the best and the safest. Cause I never know what these people could do. Also, having a confrontation or standing my ground may cause a terrible emotional reaction in me, which can stay in my mind as a traumatic memory forever, and it may also change people's impression of me which I may regret. Or the person may find me an easy target due to my small built and may start attacking and beating me.

I wish I were taller, stronger and more charismatic, so people wouldn't dare doing any of those things to me. I also wish I could be better at confrontation, awkward feelings, handling interpersonal issues, insults or mean people correctly.

My mind is often occupied with these kinds of thoughts and regrets. Seeing other people being used or disrespected, hearing their stories, or watching movie characters being bullied, abused, beaten or not being able to stand their ground triggers or aggravates these thinking patterns and makes me more anxious.

Even my family members want me to be more confrontational and assertive or even a bit aggressive.

So, I think my interpersonal skills are not enough for adult life. Here's why :

1_ I'm small-built and also shy and introvert, which probably makes people think of as an easier and weaker target. And I wouldn't be able to defend myself against a taller and stronger person.

2_ I'm afraid of my awkward emotional reaction towards people yelling at me or insulting me. But avoiding confrontations and not standing my ground can also make me blame myself.

3_ I tend to care about fairness, and lack of it within the society can make me furious. But society and people are not always fair.

4_ I care about what other people might think or say behind my back, and its impact on my reputation or future. So by people-pleasing or at least not bothering people, even if it means not defending or asserting myself, I try to stay under the radar.

5_ And I don't really know when I should just let it go and de-escalate or keep quiet, avoid, stand my ground, fight back, insult back, etc.

I have read books, watched youtube videos, but I still haven't been able to fix this problem or change myself. I sometimes think it means I might have mild autism and these deficits can never be fixed. Other times I relate it to high Fe and low Se (due to being an INFJ).

I really need your help. Where and how should I start?

----------------------

Do you know the story of The Ugly Duckling? I interpret the story as being about perception, specifically, how easy it is for perception to be wrong, as well as how quickly a minor flaw in perception can escalate into a majorly faulty belief system. It sounds like your perception has been distorted and now you hold faulty beliefs that need to be corrected. Since you lack self-confidence, you tend to catastrophize - your mind always jumps to the worst possibilities.

You say self-worth issues are "due to" being petite. This is a faulty belief. If being petite causes low self-worth, one would expect every petite person to have low self-worth. Is that the case? Not at all. A lot of people are below average height and live fine. In fact, you'd be surprised at how many well-known people are/were actually quite small in stature, just off the top of my head: Gandhi, Prince, Danny Devito, Sabrina Carpenter, Peter Dinklage, Judy Garland.

If being petite is not the actual cause of low self-worth, then what is? "Worth" relates to the method you use to make value judgments, so if you are always coming to unreasonably negative judgments about yourself, there is a problem with your value system. Do you believe that a below average sized person has less value than an average or above average sized person? You must believe it, otherwise, you wouldn't think that you are worth less than others, and you would not wish to be bigger and taller in order to be worth more.

Perhaps you don't personally believe that petite people have no value, so you claim that it is "society" which believes they have no value, and you are a victim of society. Is that true, though? Or is this another faulty belief? You said smaller people get bullied because they are easier targets, so, it's not because they are worthless - that's an important difference. Bullies chose you because they couldn't handle someone their own size or bigger. Therefore, the bullying did not have any relation to your self-worth; what it actually reflected was the bully's cowardice.

Why is it that many petite people don't get bullied? Some of it is down to luck; perhaps you've been unlucky in meeting lots of jerks throughout life. But some of it is down to your attitude. The impression that you leave on people plays a big role in how they approach you. For example, when you look down upon yourself, you teach others that it's okay to look down upon you too.

If you are always anxious and cowering in fear, treating every person as a potential threat, what does that communicate to people? Unfortunately, it communicates that you are an easy target. If you are always expecting to get dominated and bullied, you're more likely to attract bullies to your doorstep. Physical size isn't actually as important a factor as how you present yourself to people. When INFJs haven't developed Fe properly, they don't have a realistic view of how they come across to others.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't about blaming the victim. The people who bullied you were wrong. You don't deserve mistreatment. The problem is that bullying is a form of trauma, and trauma distorts the mind. It makes you hypersensitive to social threats, even seeing threats where there are none. And it also makes you hypersensitive to the things that you were bullied about, in this case, your physical size.

The other day, I had to hire someone to do household repairs. On the day of the repair, this tall dude arrives and could barely fit through the door. As he was walking down some stairs, he bumped his head on a lower part of the ceiling that he didn't notice because he was carrying a lot of tools. I felt so bad for him and I tried to monitor his head safety thereafter. Unfortunately, he's had lots of experience hitting his head on various things.

With your past experience, all you can see is how being petite is a "deficiency". As such, envy blinds you to the possibility that being larger can be a curse and being petite can actually be a gift. This repair guy was often admired for his stature, but he actually viewed his tallness as a "deficiency" all his life. From his perspective, smaller people have a great life because they don't always feel like they're in the way and can easily fit comfortably into any space.

Everyone has sore spots. Sore spots are things you feel insecure or hypersensitive about because of a perceived (psychological or physical) deficit. However, what you haven't understood is that what gets classified as a "deficit" is often a mere matter of perspective. The lesson of The Ugly Duckling story is that his perception of himself was wrong because he had been misled to believe that he was abnormal and deficient by others. This story teaches you that what one person experiences as a "deficiency", another person might experience as an "advantage".

Thus, the key to overcoming your hypersensitivity is to learn how to change your perspective, aka cognitive restructuring, which is something Ni+Fe can easily do. If you can't do it, then it indicates there's something awry with your function development (unhealthy Ni tunnel vision + Fe overindulgence). Your perspective seems very small and very rigid, so it's time to expand and adjust it.

Sure, people can be mean, and society can lead people to value the wrong things, and that's what you focus all your attention on. However, most people aren't mean, and society can't touch your personal values within. You always have a choice as to i) how you respond to mean people, if at all, and ii) whether you adopt the twisted values that society tries to inculcate in you. An important aspect of growing up into a full-fledged adult is learning how to think for yourself, which includes being able to challenge and change faulty beliefs/values and adjust your perspective as necessary to get closer to the truth.

Being bullied often keeps people trapped like a child, feeling helpless and powerless. "Power" doesn't come primarily from physical size, rather, it comes from the mental belief in yourself. Instead of getting lost in victim mentality, acknowledge that there are things within your power to change that would improve your situation. You said yourself that you lack interpersonal skills. Well, I have good news for you: skills can be improved through step-by-step learning, study, and practice. Start with whatever seems most pressing for you, perhaps enlist the help of a therapist. For example, I have discussed most of the following before in relation to developing healthy Fe in INFJs:

emotional intelligence: you could learn how to handle your feelings and emotions better, in order to communicate about them in a more reasonable and matter-of-fact way

optimism: you could learn to approach people in an empathetic and encouraging way, with positive expectations, in order to influence them to be positive to you in return

assertiveness: you could adjust your values to believe that you are equal to everyone else and that your existence is just as legitimate as anyone else's, which would help you stand up and advocate for your needs better

self-confidence: you could improve your communication and conflict resolution skills, which would help you feel more confident and exercise better judgment during social interactions

self-defense: although the majority of people aren't physically violent unless extremely provoked, it might help you feel more physically powerful and better prepared for confrontation by learning self-defense or martial arts

social support network: you could expand your network of friends and supporters so that you feel less alone and have people to rely on in times of stress or danger

self-work: you could use other successful petite people as inspirational role models; observe how they succeed in commanding respect and admiration and learn some lessons about how to show people the best of yourself, rather than only focusing on what you hate about yourself

It is a fact that you are petite, and facts should be met with acceptance. Trying to deny the facts will only get you lost in wishful thinking (unhealthy Ni), as well as the toxic shame of an inferiority complex (unhealthy Fe). Once you're able to accept the facts, then your mind can move forward into adopting adaptation strategies. No matter what your sore spots are, it is important to understand that they are not a curse and they are not meant to ruin your life. Confronting your sore spots and learning to live with them successfully is precisely how you grow as a person. However, you won't be able to benefit from your sore spots as long as you keep trying to reject them and wish them away. They are an important part of you. Improving self-worth means learning to accept and love yourself, which means ALL of yourself.

[icanseethefuture333]

My solar return chart for 2024 ✧˖.｡⋆୨୧˚

Chart ruler:

Capricorn Pluto in the 2nd house 29°

In 2024, my physical appearance could be viewed as more striking, alluring, and magnetic. My taste of style could have more of a gamine essence or I will prefer to wear a lot of sports wear, athleisure, baggy clothes, and sneakers (Mercury & Mars in the 1st house).

With my ascendant in Scorpio and at 26° (Taurus degree), it will most likely turn my focus towards transforming my finances and building a foundation for my career path. There is a need for discretion regarding my mental health and private posessions as well. I could feel the need to protect myself regarding my triggers and not wishing to speak my fears to others.

Capricorn sun in the 2nd house 4° (Cancer degree). I will want to establish a solid foundation regarding my home and finances. It is possible this year I will think a lot about generational wealth. My natal sun is also at 4°, so the nature of my sun's energy won't be any different, but my attention will be towards my career, home, and money this year. I also see this as being able to relax more and enjoy the pleasures of luxury.

Sun opposite Moon.

I could be pulled towards two different directions and will feel torn on which path to decide. This aspect can cause one to reflect on their soul and inner most personal thoughts. I may feel confused who I am beyond a surface level and will want to discover who I am meant to be. This aspect has to do with one's subconscious and should seek counseling, guidance, or therapy to resolve one's past trauma. This plays a part in one's character development. This could mean my perception of myself has been negatively affected due to my parents and caretakers from my childhood, so I will have to reshape my self concept to embody my true self.

Sun sextile Saturn.

Perfectionism is looked down upon with this placement. It is important that I realize that I shouldn't be too hard on myself for I am doing my best. I should be proud of my accomplishments so far. There is a sense of getting the hang of things and being self sufficient when it comes to tasks. My intrapersonal skills will develop and I will overall have better leadership skills. It is going to be easier for me to adapt to different situations.

Sun Trine Jupiter.

My mindset could be more optimistic and I will be generous towards others. There is a desire to share my good fortune and to make others happy. I could see myself wanting to do good deeds without needing anything in return. I could see myself taking a internship with this placement. I could learn a lot while traveling. I will also be bright and humorous! I could have a strike of good luck this year and I will attract a lot of opportunities.

Sun Square Neptune.

My ego and level of confidence could fluctuate depending on my mood. I could often experience highs and lows throughout the year. I may go from happy to sad or thoughts of enlightment to devastation easily. The juxtaposition of these two planets can cause frustration and confusion. People could drain my energy more by dumping their problems onto me, disclosing personal information without asking, and wishing to take advantage of my kindness. It is important that I set boundaries with others to avoid being treated like a doormat.

Gemini moon in the 7th house 26° (Taurus degree). There is a desire for me to experience social intimacy this year. I could socialize with people on a interpersonal level and wish to connect with someone more deeply. I see that my conversations will consist of telling people how much they "mean" to me and why I value and appreciate their presence in my life. I'd be much more affectionate and tender. There is a sincerity present here that is not usual of my character (my natal moon being in Taurus, when I would typically prefer keep my most personal thoughts to myself). I may have a duality when having conversations with others, my emotions may be considered unpredictable. For example, I could spontaneously cry out of nowhere or smile randomly. I see there is a desire to be closer to those I have romantic feelings for. It is likely I'll be more forward and direct with my communication. My speaking voice could be more tender and sweeter as well.

Moon opposite Mercury. Anxious thoughts could make it difficult for me to find comfort at this time. Sleepless nights or insomnia could be a common factor this year. Communicating with the women (especially my mother) in my life could be complicated this year. There is a difficulty of expressing my emotions and finding the words to say how I feel. I could prefer to be silent when faced with conflict or feel that arguing will be a waste of time since I won't be heard. There is a imbalance of being logical and emotional. Moon opposite Mars. There are triggers here with this placement that's being brought to the surface and could make me behave more aggressively as a reaction. My fight or flight senses could be triggered and it would be best to stay away from people who provoke this side of me. Tension or arguments with my mother may become a problem. My Inner child wounds will need healing and I would have to channel my anger in a healthy, productive way, it would be beneficial for my personal growth. This aspect is significant due to it being something that I struggled with the most. Moon trine Saturn. I could understand others on a psychological level, such as being able to interpret their body language, and analyzing a result that will benefit them mentally / emotionally. There is a preservation of stability present with my relationships. I could feel more secure within myself because this aspect. Moon square Neptune. My dreams could be melancholic more than usual and could reflect a part of my subconscious that needs love and healing. I could experience emotions that I can't explain and will feel invalidated by others regarding this. People could tell me to just brush it off and keep going but the feeling will still linger in the back of my mind. I also see this as dealing with depression and past trauma. I may not completely understand everything I feel or will experience. Meditation and mindfulness could be helpful during this time to release this emotions I am harboring deep inside.

Gemini Part of Fortune in the 7th house 4° (Cancer degree). I will find joy and success in forms of media. I could create great contacts with others in the workplace and see myself climbing up the social ladder so to speak. There is increase of a social presence and followers on social media presence. People will consider me friendly and approachable at this time. It is possible most of my romantic suitors will be on the internet or people will find themselves having a crush on me due to how they see my peesona online. I will be seen as feminine, nurturing, & caring. (I could definitely see myself attracting people with mommy issues too).

Scorpio Venus in the 12th house 25° (Aries degree) conjuct Ascendant. With Aries ruling the head, there could be a overall increase of harmony and balance within my facial features. My aura could feel more vampire-like to people who find me attractive as well. The energy is intimidating, but it is also cheeky and friendly (I.E: My Babysitter's A Vampire or Alice Cullen from Twilight). I see this as being popular with those who identify as a man or have masculine energy.

Venus square Saturn. My expectations regarding my relationships could be high and I could be overly critical towards those who wish to be in a romantic relationship with me. If they do not meet my expectations, I could be disappointed and lose interest easily, but I could also not give them a fair chance due to having such strict standards 😅. I could have difficulties with my public image and could feel insecure. Work could be put before my own needs and I will have to learn how to balance my personal life with my career. Despite being cold towards people I am dating, I will remain caring and loyal to friends and family members. With my Venus being in Scorpio, this aspect could make me even more intense towards my romantic suitors, they are likely to feel intimidated by me or feel unworthy to be with me. I see this as attracting people who are very stubborn as well and can't take a hint that I don't want to be with them. They could be determined to prove themselves and will be persistent in trying to win me over. Venus opposite Uranus. I could fear the loss of my independence if I were to be in a relationship. Intimacy with others could make me feel uncomfortable and I will have to learn how to embrace others being affectionate towards me. My attachment style could be disorganized this year. I could want to be left alone, but also wish to receive romantic attention. I will be attracted to people who are unique, nerdy, geeky, and intelligent. I could wish to make friends more than dating. I also see this as desiring a more convential relationship but will end up being in a more non conventional relationship (I.E: long distance relationship, etc). Venus trine Neptune. This could cultivate my ability to form spiritual connections with others. The relationships that I will have in 2024 will be deeper on a sentimental level. I could potentially be in a secret love affair with someone, I will have a secret admirer, or I will hide my feelings for someone I have a crush on. I could be more compassionate and empathetic towards others as well. I am more likely to daydream and visualize my projects into reality more efficiently with this aspect. Venus square Saturn brings feelings of rejection, shyness, and insecurity to the surface. There may be someone who I will have romantic feelings for, but I will be afraid to confess this to them (I am reminded of Violet from The Incredibles. She had a crush on Tony but she was the wallflower of her school, while he was popular. It took for Violet to build courage and go through character development in order for her to go out with Tony, who actually approached her and asked her out to the movies after noticing her new found confidence!). I see this aspect as a challenge to bring me out of my shell in general and to understand that I deserve to be the one on the pedestal. Venus square Pluto. Past lessons of love that I have experienced could be tested this year. I may come across people who are similar to past love interests or people who will reflect parts of my psyche. Mirroring is a common theme for this aspect. I also see this as a transformation of my love life in general. I truly believe that I will date this year or I could come into contact with people who will have romantic feelings for me, due to me being single for the majority of my life. There is a pressure from others to make sacrifices but the issue is that it won't ever be reciprocated, at least not with this aspect. I will have to demand that I be treated fairly otherwise it is best I no longer stay connected to that specific person (whether it is a family member, friend, or lover).

Sagittarius Mercury in the 1st house 25° (Aries degree) and Sagittarius Mars in the 1st house 23° (Aquarius degree). Again, Aries rules the head and my ascendant is in Scorpio (ruler planet being Mars & Pluto), the Mercurian influence could create an inquisitive mind. I will be very communicative and eager to strike up a conversation with others. Sagittarius Mercury is philosophical and insightful. While the Mars energy feels almost childlike and impulsive. Children typically asks questions such as "Why is the sky blue?" And for parents who don't know the answer to everything, it leaves them puzzled everytime. My curiosity could have this similar effect on others. My intelligence, desire to learn, and peppy attitude would be admirable, but there could be a lack of awareness regarding conversational cues or not "reading the room" in certain moments. Which could cause me to be bit of a pest, especially for educators (my apologies in advance to my professors lol💀).

Mercury conjuct Mars. I will be sharp and enthusiastic when it comes to work/school. Mercury Trine Jupiter. the conversations that I will have will be mentally stimulating and enriching, I also interpert this as my education being very abundant this year. Mercury square Neptune. I could be prone to being disillusioned, my perception of things may not be as how it seems, and feeling confused or worried about others true intentions. I may be considered mentally naive to others as well. Mars square Neptune. Another pattern of things not appearing as they seem. I could be worried others are being deceitful and my lack of ability to trust others could cause me to react aggressively. It would be best to avoid creating scenarios in my head because it will make me jealous, paranoid, and vindictive. It could also mean people will gossip about me or spread rumors about me. It will be best during this time that I keep a cool temper and not let others get the best of me.

Aries Chiron in the 5th house 15° (Gemini degree). This is a complex aspect to have. There is a lack of assertiveness when it comes to standing my ground. This a lesson regarding inner child wounds and having to protect myself in competitive or aggressive environments, this reminds me of petty bullying from my childhood. People could see a side of me they never expected if they provoke me too much, it's giving"fuck around and find out".

Chiron trine Mars.

I see this as being more confident when it comes to debates, battles, and arguments. It will be easier for my to stand my ground and stop letting people push me around. This a placement that takes actions when it comes to healing, self defense, and "standing on business" in general.

Taurus Uranus in the 6th house 19° (Libra degree) opposite Ascendant could cause me to be stubborn when it comes to receiving help from others, especially from romantic interests. This also materializes how I spend my day to day routine and it could be considered foreign and eccentric to others, but innovative to myself. My behavior might be also seen as unpredictable and this will cause me to become unrecognizable to others because I am forming a routine that is "unusual" for my behavior. I also see this as wanting to be single and not wanting to think about my love life at the moment. My creative expression will be very important to me and this could display in some aspects of my fashion choices. This placement is interesting considering Taurus prefers to be comfortable and doesn't like to be put of their comfort zone, while Uranus is all about breaking barriers and being rebellious. I might find myself lazy when it comes to going out of my comfort zone and will want to do things my way (or the highway). This aspect could also change how I feel about materialism and feel the need to reduce the promotion of consumerism. I am reminded of the song XS by Rina Sawayama, which is about mocking capitalism and how material items are used as a distraction from things such as global climate or other global catastrophes. It is possible I will become an social media influencer this year and I could talk about these topics in the content I post.

Uranus sextile Neptune.

This is a powerful aspect when it comes to intuition and foresight. I feel like this is something I have been already experiencing. My judgments during this time will be trustworthy, as long as I think wisely. This is all about raising your mind to a higher level of consciousness and reevaluating one's beliefs. "What's real? What's not?". I also see this as being able to see past what the common eye could see, whether that is regarding creative expression or breaking from the everyday simulation. This would be good for doing research on the metaphysical and applying scientific theory. I could be interested in books that combines pseudoscience with more traditional forms of science. I could experience situations that are peculiar and out of the ordinary. As in - "Guess what? I saw a UFO today!" or even "Deja Vu" type of strange. There is a knowing for things that can't be explained or I might never even heard about. I believe my audience would be interested in what I have to say, especially for tarot readings or advice that is more technical. I also see this as coming up with ideas that are unique and abstract. It's a perfect blend of Piscean and Aquarian energy.

Uranus trine Pluto.

I view this aspect as reconstructing my character. There will be opportunities for change and development to actualize more of my authenticity. This is the shedding of a snake's skin. "I am." Is a affirmation that is stated clearly and boldly without confusion, self consciousness, and insecurity. There will be a clear knowing and understanding of who I am to my core. I interpert this as a generational aspect. I could see a common theme amongst my peers and feel more hopeful about my current circumstances. This line is cheesy to me but it's giving the attitude of "Fuck it, we ball". Why sit and cry about how hard life is when you could laugh about it instead? It's healing my perspective on the stressful situations of my life and allowing me to be at peace and move on from it.

Pisces Neptune in the 4th house 25° (Aries degree) trine Ascendant. My beauty could appear ethereal and dreamy. People will be more drawn to me than usual. My family could compare me to my mother or the women in my family, I could resemble certain traits of them. I also see this as having an intuitive connection with my female ancestors and I could receive premonitions from them in my dreams.

Pisces Saturn in the 3rd house 2° (Taurus degree) square Ascendant. The attention I will receive will bring me out of my comfort zone and could cause me to feel anxious. This will be one of the important lessons I will have to face, it is necessary for me to learn how to communicate my truth and accept feedback from others regarding this aspect (praise or constructive criticism). I may feel self conscious and worry that I need to filter myself more than usual. It is necessary that I learn how to articulate myself in a way that is true to myself and also shows my intellectual potential. It is required that I practice mindfulness and take a lot of breaks from studies or work, or else I will experience a lot of mental stress. This stress could affect my physical body negatively, so it is important that my self care is prioritized and that I do not over exert myself mentally and physically.

Taurus Jupiter in the 5th house 5° (Leo degree). This a commonly known degree for beauty, fame, and sexual attraction. I see this placement as the most positive and joyful! The energy is light hearted and abundant. I see this as wishing to live a lifestyle that's more lavish (Glamorous by Fergie vibes). I could focus on having more fun and enjoying the little things in life by flirting with crushes, going to parties, and spending time with friends. Interestingly enough, I also have a Taurus descendant in my Solar Return Chart... it's giving "Now who wanna suck my p🤨ssy? 💥" This placement would give me a keen sense on all things beauty and fashion, such as being able to determine what fabric is of a high quality. There is the gratification of physical touch, to be able to feel something that provides comfort, like a security blanket. "Sheets of Egyptian Cotton" anyone ♡? I could see myself having silk sheets, beautiful decorations, or any materials that are more plush in my house. Upgraded wardrobe is a possibility or details to elevate my look. "Better bitches, better money, my clothes better, my shoes better, I work harder!" I will also experience luck in my finances and will feel accomplished in my endeavors.

Jupiter sextile Saturn.

I could be dependable and reliable to others. My enthusiasm would lift other people's spirits if they're down and I'd be able to read people's emotions more affectively with this placements. I will gain valuable life lessons this year, one's that could even be shared with my children in the future. I could bond easily with children as well and will be able to balance being caring and being an authoritive figure.

Jupiter square Pluto.

There is a intense desire to succeed that it can even be obsessive. I may feel pressured to be more accomplished and have a prestigious status that it will cause nothing but stress and mental fatigue for me. The negative of this is that I will wish to prove myself to others instead of wishing to accomplish my dream goals. I could feel I'm falling behind in comparison to my peers. I could experience setbacks more than usual and it is necessary that I am patient with myself and look on the brighter side of things.

Jupiter trine Lilith.

Empowerment in freedom, knowledge, and being able to engage in different cultures.

Cancer Vertex in the 8th house 10° (Capricorn degree). Enhancement in psychic abilities and sensuality. Epiphanies could be a common theme this year. I could have frequent realizations of what I am to do in this lifetime and could come across different opportunities to discover what path to take. I see this as healing my inner child wounds and fulfilling my dreams. "The divine" could test my faith and see if I am willing to believe in the unknown. 10° is skeptical and a non believer. I believe I will go through spiritual transformations or come encountered with situations that will change my thoughts about faith.

Virgo Lilith in the 9th house 9° (Sagittarius degree).

Highlights my flaws and will be prone to self criticism. Interesting how last year I had a Virgo ascendant and now it's my Lilith sign. I see this as feeling critical towards the shadow aspects of myself. There will be feelings of shame and embarrassment when it comes to topics that are considered provocative. This will potentially hold me back when it comes to starting projects because of the fear of not being good enough or being deemed as likeable. I also see this pertaining to "virginity" and could mean being intimate with a partner for the first time. I could be very responsible by taking care of my hygiene and health when it comes sex (which I mean... duh). I could see myself participating in LGBTQ spaces as in Pride or going to Gay clubs. This feels like "exploring the ropes" and see what I feel most comfortable when it comes to my romantic and sexual preferences. I see this as being skilled in foreign languages, sports, horseback riding, and human services. This would make a great aspect for pursuing a modeling career as well.

Lilith conjuct Midheaven. Being seen as pretty and stereotypically feminine. Could be considered controversial or be in the center of gossip. I see this as being influential and having power in social dynamics. This placement is seen as positive representation for those who are considered outcasts (I.E: people who like alternative music or dress alt).

Virgo Midheaven 10° (Capricorn degree). My appearance could be seen as innocent and delicate during this time. The typical "good girl" image. My superiors could believe I am diligent when it comes to my work and academics. I would work more efficiently at this time and could receive a lot of praise, good grades, and promotions during this time. To my peers, I could be known for being picky, organized, and having good hygiene. My ambition and determination will be admired.

Aries North Node in the 5th house 22° (Capricorn degree). This reminds me of Mariah Carey's "Emancipation of Mimi" era. It's about claiming your own independence and taking control of your life and freedom. I will be exploring my passions this year and could be considered a trailblazer when it comes to my career. This is known as the "kill or be killed" degree. I could be seen as "selfish" and "distant" for priotizing work over other people's needs.

There is a big emphasis on "legs" and my body could look very "leggy". I might go through a growth spurt or I will be visibly taller to other people. I could also show off my thighs more or they could get bigger in size (Sagittarius). I see my body being more toned as well or I will have the desire to exercise more (Aries / Mars). This is odd to say, but my face could be considered otherwordly to others. People could find me illusive and mysterious, which will lead for others to project whatever fantasy or assumptions they have onto me. (Pisces, Taurus, Scorpio, & Mercury). My chart ruler being Pluto 29° (Leo degree) and in the sign of Capricorn calls for me to reflect on my personal values. There will be deep healing for my subconscious mind and could bring taboo things to the surface. There will be a heavy focus on growth and change, internally, and externally. 29° is a karmic degree that also signifies fame. With Pluto sextile to my ascendant, there is an increase of sexual attraction, financial opportunities, and having the power to positively influence others.

Attributes:

Voice, music, fashion, passion, the arts, intuition, dreams, technology, science, social media, communication, generational wealth, home, love, sports, dance, money, values, & transformation

[cawthorntales]

Grayson: So are you excited for our date?

Glenn: I'm very excited!

Grayson: I'm glad to hear it. I'm looking forward to get to know you a bit more.

Glenn: I'm an open book. Fire away!

Grayson: Any secret talent I should know about?

Glenn: I can tell what color a flower will be before it emerges from its bud. I mean I know what color everything in my garden is but if I'm like out at a park and there are trees or shrubs yet to bloom I can see in my mind what color they'll be. Spellcaster blood I guess. Not the best secret talent, I can't show it off at parties, but I enjoy it.

Grayson: That's an amazing talent! Don't sell yourself short. I can't even grow a weed. So being able to tell what a bud will even be is awesome.

Glenn: Thank you Grayson.

Grayson: You're welcome. So far am I what you expected or thought I'd be? Or have I surprised you?

Glenn: The camera does not do you justice, you're way cuter in person. Not to say the entry photo looked bad, just you look really good. You also check in on us everyday which is just the sweetest. I thought we'd have to come seek you out and have battles for who could speak to you for the day. Like one conversation winner and the rest of us stuck in a walk in freezer or something. But you check in with all of us, it's good. Plus, seeing abs in person is always nice. I have been sad not to meet Olive yet though, do you have any pictures on your phone?

*Grayson blushes*

Grayson: Thank you! What is your biggest dream?

Glenn: To find my person. I know that's probably the annoying stereotypical answer but it's true. I'd like to live in a world where it's okay to be different, where differences are celebrated you know. I want to find someone who can say with a real smile on their face, that's my guy and he works some magic. I'm not ambitious for fame or fortune, my garden generates enough income. But I'd like to find someone I can share life with. To be at my side through the ups downs and diagonally's. Is that a word? It sounds like it should be. I'd like to grow my garden more sure, but I'd rather have someone to sit in my garden with you know?

Grayson: Not annoying or stereotypical at all. I'm after the same thing. I think you kind of have to be to make yourself so vulnerable on a tv show.

Glenn: Very true. It's an interesting experience for sure.

Grayson: What do you like most about yourself?

Glenn: This is going to sound so conceited! My confidence. My grandfather has always been big on being proud of where we come from. He taught me lots from a young age about spells and gardening and the like, but he also taught me to trust myself. That everything we do, bar breathing and such, is a learned skill. We always have the capacity to grow, be better, do better. I have a toolbox of physical and mental skills. Put me in a tricky situation and I will find a way to thrive, like the saplings that burst through the pavement. There's stuff I would not have made it through if I didn't start out with the belief that I could succeed. So yeah, I like that I'm self assured. I also really like my birthmarks. I used to hate them because kids would tease me about having a dirty face or a dirty arm all the time. But… they make me me. I wouldn't know the guy looking back at me from the mirror without them, I love that they make me unique.

Grayson: Doesn't sound conceited to me at all. Nothing wrong with believing in yourself. I wish I was able to do it more myself. Your grandfather sounds like a pretty awesome guy. For what it is worth I think your birthmarks are adorable.

*Glenn winks*

Grayson: What do you love most about the outdoors?

Glenn: Getting to see the beauty that exists in nature, it takes your breath away. Like in Belgium there's this forest that annually will have all these bluebells spring up amongst the trees making it look like a fairytale. Or the waterfalls in Yosemite park make lunar rainbows called moonbows which look stunning. But I mean you don't have to go to the big famous places to see it. You might see a tree in the park that's been there one hundred years and you just think about all that the world has been through in that time and that tree has just been there and kept standing. Or the wildflowers that grow out in the fields year after year.

Grayson: I love how excited you sound. Nature is very beautiful. But I think I like the view in front of me just a bit more.

*Glenn blushes*

~

Week two is solo dates. Each guy is taken to the same date venue(I lack options lol) Grayson will give one interaction a get to know. It is up to your contestant then to engage on the date. Glenn did the following: flirt, compliment appearance, i love your smile and flatter. He then left Grayson to talk to this old guy as well as other people at the venue the rest of the date. @changingplumbob

[cardboardheartss]

LE SSERAFIM CARDBOARDHEARTSS NEWSS INTERVIEW

⚠️DISCLAIMER! TAROT CARDS ARE NOT 100% ACCURATE! TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT! IF MY INTERPRETATIONS ARE INCORRECT FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME!⚠️

Q : How are you all feeling today? (9oW, Hierophant rx, KNoC, 6oW)

A : Well… we for sure are really tired. We all have been praying/hoping there would be a better change for all of us, and we genuinely hope that will come for us soon.

Q : How are you all dealing with the backlash you’ve been receiving? (2oW, 4oC rx, Tower, Judgement, Magician)

A : We are crushed… the backlash is getting too much now. We all feel as if we went from being loved to being thrown out like stray dogs. People on social media always find ways to create unnecessary drama and we are tired!

Q : How do you all feel about the HYBE situation? (10oW, KoP, 5oC, PoC rx, Emperor rx)

A : BSH is working so hard on destroying everything. We trusted him, and now he has tainted our image even more and now we’re forced to deal with more of the backlash because of him.

Q : Yunjin what are your thoughts? (KNoS rx)

A : Everything is genuinely out of control… I wish I could speak on it but I might not watch what I say and it’s going to cause more problems.

Q: Eunchae what are your thoughts? (QoC rx)

A : I am done, all do this makes me feel so bad for everyone because at the end of the day, we’re the ones who are going to be in trouble, and continue dealing with the backlash. I don’t want to work anymore, my passion for my job has ended because what the point?

Q : Kahzua what are your thoughts? (9oP rx)

A : 😐 Now I’m going to be forced to fake it, til I make it once more. Now we’re going to be forced to work even more for the sake of the public approval. I’ve lost so much confidence, thanks to the ballet dance comments along with the backlash with the vocals too…

Q: Chaewon what are your thoughts? (8oP, 7oW)

A : I never thought this would actually happen… now I have to rebuild my image again, and the only way I can do that is by speaking up for myself but I can’t because people will twist words and cause havoc again. I wanna fight but I just can’t 😔

Q : Sakura what are your thoughts? (10oW, PoW)

A : 疲れていてイライラしている (tsukarete ite iraira shite iru) I’m tired and annoyed, I have completely given up, I feel defeated and lately I have been doing my hobbies just to keep calm but I am genuinely unhappy. My late night walks are keeping my sane right now, because I just feels so embarrassed, I don’t want to be seen in public anymore.

Q : What do you think will be the outcome of this situation? (KoC, Temperance, Hanged Man rx, 5oP rx)

A : Well… BSH will deal with this issue, all we’ll have to do is just sit back and watch.🤷🏻‍♀️

Q : Do you have anything to say to Ill’It? (4oS rx, 5oS rx, 3oS rx, 2oC, 4oW rx, 4oP rx)

A : Firstly we want to just apologize for all the backlash you’ve been receiving lately, you all truly don’t deserve any of this. Please make sure that you all rest and avoid the negative comments. It’s unfortunate that this war will never end, I mean, we even are in the same shoes as you all right now and we have no choice but to stand together. We your unnuies will stand by you!🫂

Q : Do you have anything to say to NEWJEANS? (Moon rx, 6oP, KNoP, KNoW rx)

A : Well… this is going to be an awkward time between all of us, it’s like we’re going to be walking on eggshells around you, not us only, like the rest of the groups too. We have to do this for the sake of our career so… yea

Q : Any words to the general public? (3oP, PoP rx, 3oW, 7oP, 3oC)

A : We would like to apologize, we know it’s going to take some time to get your love again. It is going to take us some time to work on our performance flaws, but once we woke on it and show you all our improvements, may we please leave the past behind us and rejoice once more… together.

[saintobio]

Omg ok ok hello! I had this huge rant in my head about sy and sn so pls feel free to ignore it, but I love your writing so much and it gives me some STRONG FEELINGS. First of all it surprised me that I like the way you write y/n cuz she doesn't become a "bitch" after the whole deal with Gojo and have some elaborate revenge plan, but she is also not a goody two shoes (even if she stayed with Gojo earlier but she had a lot of external pressure to stay in the marriage). Not that those tropes are necessarily bad but it's just more realistic this way. She's just a person who has been deeply hurt and is trying to do right by others. Even if she has made big mistakes, she still wants to make up for them cuz she's not completely in the right either. Also getting bashed by everyone for trying to make amends/ not following their advice regarding you own life; while very triggering for me (lol) is also just such a natural reaction. Not right, just natural. When things get out of people's hands and they want to blame someone for it, they often go for the one who is actually trying and won't retaliate if for nothing than to just keep the peace. Also wanting people to understand your side of the situation yet feeling undeserving of it at the same time because of your mistakes is UGHHH I feel like you do that so well! It's amazing but genuinely heartbreaking to see how far Satoru has come as a person too. Also when he thinks about how he wants to be a better person for Akemi IT MADE ME WANT TO PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL... cuz WHY COULDN'T HE BE LIKE THAT FOR US!!! At the same time we have moved on without him, so if we are allowed that luxury then why isn't he? It's just so ANGSTY AND SO SO GOOD! Because we love Satoru we always will but he had a chance and he fricked it over terribly! So it would be idiotic to go back to him but at the same time the heart yearns for him. This is a side tangent but whenever any character says "this is not like you", "you have changed, this isn't how you'd act" makes me so MAD lol (maybe bc I am triggered?) But these guys WATCHED MY GIRL GO THROUGH SOME HORRIFIC SHIT AND STILL EXPECT HER TO NOT BE PERMANANTLY AND IRREVERSIBLY CHANGED???!! ;-;; IDK what they want from her oof >.< I do think Akemi is a shitty friend but I can't bring myself to hate her completely. Seeing them together is so ANGER INDUCING AAAAA (and her wanting a family with him is fine BUT THIS EARLY?!JUST AFTER ADMITTING YOU FEEL "SORRY" FOR BETRAYING US?! IT MAKES ME WANNA HURL HER TRHOUGH CONCRETE) but at the same time Satoru and Akemi both deserve someone who can love them. It feels hypocritical to be angry when we ourselves told him to move on and find someone who can love him the way he deserves. It's just very very shitty it had to be them. Sera is also such an interesting character. She has a lot of traits that I admire a lot. Her resourcefulness and complete and utter pride/confidence and being unashamed to ask for things/ stand up for herself (even when she is wrong) is something I wish I had sometimes. Still wanna stick her head through a toilet tho and yet when a person who slept with a married man can see the bloody violation of girls' code that is sleeping with your bff's EX HUSBAND oh BOY you should KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. I have no strong feelings for Toji (cuz I don't like him much anyways but that's just personal bias XD )but I do think his anger and frustration is well founded especially since he runs over whenever the reader needs him. He's so supportive and invested and honestly he deserves someone who can give that back to him. It's kinda sad but then again I don't like him much to begin with lol.

OH AND THE ENDING OF THE LAST CHAPTER IS SOOOOO PAINFUL. To always be the second choice even for YOUR SON OHHH MAN I'D RATHER YOU PUT A KNIFE THROUGH MY HEART ;-;

All in all I hate how much I love this series and love to hate these characters and take out my repressed anger on them cuz I can't do that irl. This series is my Roman Empire lol. It's so painful, yet so beautiful and it makes you FEEL so many things and yet hold out hope for things to become better. I love this, love you and your writing- ok mwah bye bye (and thank you if you read this rant put together by my post nap, barely coherent brain) I have so much more that I want to say. I can write essays about this series and how it uses so many technically "cliche" tropes but it is anything but cliche . Truly some of the best angst I have read like ever!

oh wow !! i don’t even know what to say, this feels like such a comprehensive review of the sy series sdksks but i think many readers could definitely relate with some of ur points here :D this is such a nice perspective to read, thank you so much for sharing and tysm for reading sn/sy aaaaa i’m happy u enjoy the angst as much as i do <3

[mr2swap]

-Jackson But what the fuck are you doing, young man? You've lost your mind? Go straight to your room and no internet or video games - I can't believe how irresponsible my son is, he and I switched bodies just a couple of days ago, and he's already breaking the rules, he knew that "wish" his grandfather gave him for his birthday. He'd get us in trouble. I never thought he'd want to trade places.

-Listen, dad, It's very hot, and I had a very heavy day at work, Of course, you don't know what that is now, So you better shut your mouth before I shut you because I'm not in the mood to your sermons- I was speechless listening to my little 8-year-old son with such rude vocabulary I approached him a little and to my surprise, he stank of beer, I looked up looking at my ancient and hairy body of almost 2 meters, The smell of beer was unmistakable. But besides that smell Jackson was stinking up, the smell of a working man fills my little nostrils, making me wince a little.

-JACKSON SMITH, ARE YOU DRUNK?! - For a moment Jackson stopped drinking his beer and looked down at me, frowned and put on a serious and somewhat annoyed face, then continued drinking the beer bottle until it was completely empty. He left it on the kitchen table, making a noise that made me jump in fright.

- yes "dad" Do you have a problem with that?, before returning home I went with my new friends to the bar that is near the construction company, and you know what? I'm going out with the boys again on the weekend, So I'm going to leave you with “your” mother So that you ask her stupid questions and not me-

-But what's wrong with you? Young man, I order you to open your wish right now if you don't want me to… - before I could finish the sentence, Jackson used his long legs to stand in front of me, put his hands on his hips, and smile at me.

-What are you going to do? Punish me? Take away my Nintendo? Or leave me without dinner? I think you still don't understand Who the boss is But don't worry "son" I'm going to solve it right now-Without giving myself a second to run I grab my armpits and in one movement I get up and walk towards his room while I screamed, and I hit his chest to try to get him to put me down it was so humiliating to be carried like a toy or a child….

He opened the door to his own room and laid me on the small bed Decorated with the Superman logo that to me was now huge. -Listen well son because I'm only going to repeat this once, Now I'm the father, so you have to obey me Like a good son, Or you'll know what it feels like to be grounded for the rest of your young life-

I was trembling with fear for the first time in my life his voice was serious, and he had more than enough self-confidence, and on the other hand, I almost peed in my shorts knowing that I had lost all control of my son and my own house, I nodded silently trying to avoid his penetrating and intimidating gaze that seemed to enjoy every minute of this.

-very good! Now that we clear this up Finish your homework and if you're good the rest of the day we'll order Pizza for dinner- He put his huge, heavy and calloused hand on my head and caressed my hair and messed it up at the same time, he turned around and walked out of the room closing it before leaving.

I just hope that this situation is reversed before my son becomes a complete monster, now I better finish my math homework I don't want my new "dad" to be upset that he's drunk.

----

Hey! You can support me to continue creating stories, see similar stories on my patreon, you can also join my discord if you are interested in role-playing about bodyswap, possession and transformation, m2m!

[bloggingboutburgers]

Today you answered a lot of questions, so if you want this to just sit in your inbox it's okay

Not tryna burden you or anything, just wanted to wish you a good day, and tell you that I admire you and how confident you are with your identity. It's truly heartwarming for me from my little confused bicurious/bisexual demisexual genderfluid place (Ik, it's a lot), because I get confused and sometimes awkward when I doubt on whether what I am or what I'm not. Mostly because it discourages me a bit when I'm talking about my identity and the same friend jumps in and says "but weren't you *this* a few months ago?". She's very insensitive most of the time and questions me about my choices because she thinks I strictly have to have 'had a crush' on someone to be sure. Idk man, I just realized just now that when I was a kid I found Elsa from Frozen prettier than I did with other characters, shut up. I just know, but after being fed with that if I found them attractive (or rather, sexually appealing) then I had a crush on someone, realizing if I liked someone or not was a huge fucking struggle.

Whatever, I'm just ranting by now. Just wanted to thank you because thanks to you I felt like someone understood my situation because I had been wondering why I never had liked someone my whole life. Then I realized, I can, it's just that it takes a bit more than just finding them appealing to the eye for me. You gave me a safe space, where I could laugh and relate (or not, it depends on the context but I still nod and chuckle) to being ace.

Also, I could be asking on my main but I feel embarrassed to say this since we're mutuals and you probably know who I am, but I'm still shy :P

Have a good night :D

IIIIII have totally let this sit in my asks for quite a while because the stress of the visa process got to me... TwT Sorry it took me so long to respond! (...Tbh I haven't guessed who you are either TwT I'm so sorry, I hope that isn't too hurtful, I'm kinda stupid in that way...)

I feel you though. I'm lucky I myself have such a strong and stubborn sense of self that I can still be like "no I AM this because I know and naysayers can f off" even in times where there's ground for doubt, because it IS genuinely so hard to figure oneself out. First off, people impose on you, from your very childhood, the common denominator that everyone's heterosexual and heteroromantic. Next, and even stronger than that, people impose on you that everyone feels sexual and romantic attraction, and that if anyone likes anything at all, if any person interacts positively with any other at all, if any character shares screentime with any other at all, then it must mean they're romantically/sexually attracted, because that's all it ever can mean. No wonder it's a struggle!

It's an honestly unfair situation to always have to be surrounded by "yeah but"s from people who don't experience your experience yet somehow think they know better. It makes it so that sometimes, all you have to trust is your gut, and that's a tough pill to swallow in a world that tends to erase or disvalue your experience, and in a society where it's encouraged not to be too self-centered and seek other opinions for guidance, for valid reasons. But it's sometimes so tough to find support, that trusting oneself really IS what one needs.

Either way... I consider myself really fortunate in that sense, but I know it's definitely a tough one, and I sincerely wish you the best T^T I'm really glad if I can help, even a little! And please don't let external forces make you lose too much confidence in yourself, as honestly hard as it is at times TwT You're all good as you are and you have every right to be who you are! It sounds so obvious put that way but... Yeah TwT

[championofsanghelios]

Message...

SPOILERS FOR TOTK -- YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED My Dearest Friend, I do hope that when this letter finally reaches you, wherever you are out there in the world, that you are safe and well. I'll admit that things have been fairly uneventful around here since you left us. Which isn't a bad thing in the grand scheme of things. It's nice to not have an existential, people threatening crisis to worry about. But they have been quiet nonetheless. Normally I wouldn't dare to burden you further whilst you are focused on far more important things. However...the purpose of this letter is to address something that I should have done a long time ago. Something that my darling Yona has been saying I should have done since you came back to us. She made me aware of several conversations that you had with her, and with others here at the Domain during your time with us. Conversations about matter, which If I hadn't been as occupied as I was with the situation at hand, I may have been more sensitive too when we first spoke. There were days, some years ago, when the world was a much darker and smaller place, a shadow of corruption and chaos looming over everything we both knew and loved. During those dark times you and I formed a close friendship, one that I cherish and hold close to this very day, and one that I hope you at least still hold given what I know now. During that time we sought comfort in one another, we confided in each other about our darkest secrets, or greatest pains and desires for a world without death hovering over our heads. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you for those times, and how proud I was when you rid this land of the darkness and set us all free. To have been a part of your journey, to have known you during it. There's a reason why people say I don't ever stop talking about you, or what you have done to save my people and Hyrule in general. Well...that's the reason they give for it, anyway. There is another, though. One that has taken me the better of 5 and a half years to realise. One that if I had been more sensitive to you when you came back, I might have had the courage to admit too...at least to myself. I dare not say it to you in this letter to you because written words only go so far. I would rather say them to you in person... Therefore, at the request of my darling fiancee and of course myself. I ask that you come back to the Domain when your quest is complete, so that I may finally have the opportunity to say what really matters, to be what I should have been to you all along... You have a great burden upon you, one that I'm sure you wouldn't wish upon your worst enemy. (And believe me, I have some things I'd like to say to the Demon King when you finally face him, be sure to activate my sage form when you do...) But regardless of this challenge, I know that you have it in you rise up and face it. You are one of the most incredible, strong and inspiring people I have ever met, and stopping short of saying what I should have said all those years ago...and just a short time ago when you were here with us...I will finish with this. Go forth, find Zelda and make Ganon regret ever showing his face in Hyrule again. You were born to save us all...and we will be behind you all the way. You can do this, Link. I know it. I believe in you... Sidon. . . .