#I wish I had more thought out but these are some ideas
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-my grandfather was 8 when he and his family were rounded up on the Oregon coast, kept in a livestock pen for 3 very rainy days, then put into a cattle car to be carried out to the reservations in the east.
-my grandmother had two brothers and sister who were sent to mission school and never returned. They said they ran away. They lied.
-My mom remembers when Indians got enough citizenship to vote in Oregon. She describes her parents and their friends discussing if the should do it -vote -or if it was trick to register them.
-My friend took his grandmother out for her 100th birthday. He asked her what she thought were the most important things to happen during her lifetime. She told him: free wifi and the legal end of segregation.
-I remember those fucking nuns in mission school. I only went 1 year when the laws changed and we could go to other schools. We could live with our parents and ride a bus to school and back again and sleep that night in our own home. I remember that, you fuckers.
-I remember that my mom and two of her sisters gave birth in a hospital connected to the mission, and they didnt know for years that they'd gotten botched steralizations against their wishes and without their knowledge. I remember my parents desperatly trying to have more children. Theyd always wanted a bunch of kids. The house my dad built had many empty guestrooms. Eventually they sold it. I remember my mom having to have a hysterectomy 2 years ago because of all the health problems caused by the fucked up surgery. I remember sitting in a meeting and one of the nurses there having to put me through a fainting protocol because i got a text from my stepfather that during the hysterectomy they discovered one of mom's damned ovaries was just fucking gone. I wonder sometimes if some sick fuck retired doctor kept a genuine Indian ovary in a jar in his office. I wonder if his nazi kids and grandkids pull it out to show to guests as a conversation point. I think about how whites were paid piecework for Indian scalps amd seeing one dried out and leathery in an antique store in a small town in Idaho. There is evil in the Americas. The nazis were here long before they were ever in Europe.
- I remember my highschool history teacher showing us the number tattooed on his wrist. I remember him showing us all these recordings of ordinary German citizens talking about how they didn't see anything wrong happening. How there must have been some sort of perfecrly mundane reason for the endless smoke pouring from the ovens in the camp up in the hill. How it was all just politics. How they were reassured that all the people who were taken had just moved in the night, or were much happier wherever they'd gone to. "But you saw them all: the Jews, the other prisoners going into the camp. But you never saw them leave. Didn't you think that was odd?" "We just figured they'd moved from the camp in the night while we were sleeping." "Where?" "What do you mean?" "Where did you all think they went -in the middle of the night?" "Oh. We didn't know." "Didn't you wonder?" "Why would we?"
- I remember that same teacher explaining how the nazis had gotten a lot of their ideas from the US government's Native American policy. The death camps were modelled after our reservations. The dehumanizing and the stories of savages/gremlins that ate white babies and were less than human were based on the clever marketing campaign set up to not just enable the settler take over, but used to unite the fragmented people of newly forming colonial nation. He fucking showed us. There is publically available documentation of all of this.
-I remember getting put on the no fly list. I remember finding out about it because when we tried to buy tickets for the whole family to travel down to New Mexico for my granduncle's funeral the whole purchase was bounced. We were told why that might be the case so we tried seperate purchases for everyone. Me. It was me. Several years later my roommate's family friend -an old white guy with some pull, found out why. I was teaching K-3 and moonlighting as a computer programmer back then. And I'd printed some photos of holidays around the world to share with my students on the same computer I wrote code from. My own computer, in my own office, in my own home. He said it also didn't help that I wasn't white.
-I remember that fucker's first time in office: I remember seeing my coworker snatched from the elevator by ice agents and shoved into an unmarked van. He was a 3rd generation American.
-I remember having to warn the non-white, non-abled, non anything a nazi would want to gas you for residents of the dvsat shelter we worked with to not go out at night, not go out alone, not walk on these specific streets or go into these specific shops. I remember the time a native Hawaiian chick on my caseload didn't come back when expected and everyone was out of their mind with worry. She came back, tear-streaked and shaking, and told us about how she'd gotten lost (not in Hawaii any more, Dorothy) and ended up in one of the neighborhoods she was supposed to avoid, and being chased by some of the proud boys that patrolled our city streets in their ridiculous be-flagged pickups, and how some nearby restuarant diners had rushed her into the restuarant, and the staff there had hid her in the pantry, and all the diners lied and said they hadn't seen her. My teacher read Anne Frank to us in 6th grade. Do they still read that in schools?
-I think about that time I went into a DMV and the woman behind the counter told me to "sit over there," next to two men, and well away from the other patrons. Then a highway patrol officer came over and told us to go with him. In the parking lot he explained that he'd been called to take us to an immigration detention center. But instead he directed us to a "safe" DMV 40 miles away and walked away muttering about having had it up to here with those idiots in there. The two American Samoan men started laughing. Honestly, I didn't feel like laughing. I didn't feel like anything. I was thinking about the mission school and wondering if the detention center looked like it had.
-I've spent the last couple of weeks handing out flyers in different languages. I don't use an interpreter. I have no way of knowing if I can trust them. But somehow I manage to convey to the people I visit in field hand huts and steamy laundries that they are in a sanctuary state and what that means. That no one in our offices will turn them away or turn them in. At least I hope Im conveying that. Then I tell them, using paper language dictionaries if needed (librarians are superheros) how to get away, who to talk to, how to find the big dipper. I think a lot of my high school history teacher and those faded numbers on his wrist.
Oh I know they're coming for me first. Im your canary.
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#indigenous#we are still here#american politics#mission school#segregation#holocaust#shoah#indian#american indian#evil nuns
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Hold You Tight: Part 19
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Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 18 | Series Masterlist | Part 20
Chapter Word Count: Over 4.2k
Chapter Summary: Your day out with your friends isn't as relaxing as you want it to be.
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, drinking, suspected drugging, reference to stalking and violence, your friends are cheering you on, inner turmoil, stubborn reader, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight! Thank you again for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . â¤ď¸ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-in-darkness . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You wished you could say you breathed easier as the limo pulled away, but you didnât. You felt Buckyâs piercing eyes on you, watching until you were completely out of sight. He still wasnât âout of sight, out of mind.â He made sure youâd think about him, and Ray was following in his vehicle. Even glancing quickly at the limo partition you could see that it was cracked. Was the driver one of Buckyâs men?
âOkay, so your new boyfriend is stupidly hot and loaded,â Dana said, her eyes darting around the limo. âYou should be proud of yourself. Holy shit.â
âI should be proud of somehow snagging a hot and loaded guy?â you laughed a little. You always told yourself money wasnât a factor as long as the love was there.
âYes! Tell me heâs spoiling you the way heâs spoiling us today.â
You shrank back in your seat a bit. It wasnât that it was the first time you were the center of attention with your friends, but it overwhelmed you specifically since it concerned Bucky. âWell, he bought me this outfit. And he has bought me a ton of books since I love to read,â you answered. You werenât about to say that he transferred a ton of money into your account. âAnd on our first date he gave me a diamond necklace.â
The girls gasped. âClothes, books, and a diamond necklace?! Yeah, be proud and fucking flaunt it,â Dana encouraged. She had to be half teasing since she knew that wasnât your style. âGina, Addison, back me up here.â
âWe all know you arenât going to flaunt any gift he gets you, but you shouldâve seen the way he looked at you. He had hearts in his eyes,â Gina smiled. You tried to smile back. There were hearts alright, along with some darkness that they werenât aware of. âIâm surprised he even looked at us.â
âYeah, heâs⌠kind of intense like that,â you said. That was the word youâd go with.
âIntense isnât necessarily bad.â Addison scooted closer to you. âAnd youâre happy, right? He treats you well?â
If being treated like a doll, having you followed, and showering you with affection while messing with your head was meant to make you happy⌠âHe thinks weâre soulmates. That we were meant to find each other and be together. Itâs⌠a lot,â you said carefully. âI havenât had anyone who seems to need me the way he does, especially so quickly.â
âSoulmates? Wow,â Addison said. âI can see why youâd say itâs a lot.â
You couldâve hugged her. Maybe she saw through some of the charade. If she did, that could also put her in danger if she spoke out.
âOr maybe he just knows what he wants and heâs an all in kind of guy,â Dana commented. She had no idea. âWait! Have you two had sex?!â
âNo, we havenât had sex yet,â you answered. Just him jerking off over the phone and some heavy petting and jerking off again with you nearby. âBut he really wants to sleep with me and I did ride his thigh,â you mumbled.
It was still clear as day in your head, how he encouraged you to get off, his lips against yours. You didnât want to think about it, but Bucky got his way and invaded your thoughts. It was inevitable.
âAhh! You beautiful slut! Thigh riding is so hot!â If anyone ever needed a hype girl or enabler, Dana was the one to call. âAnd what are you waiting for?! Let him fuck you and eat your kitty. Do it for us.â
âHey. Thereâs nothing wrong with waiting,â Addison promised. Of all of your friends, sheâd snap if Bucky ever hurt you. âYou wait as long as you want.â
You were trying to wait, but it was only a matter of time before you had to sleep with him. âItâs justâŚâ
âAre you worried that his feelings will fade once you two have sex?â Gina asked.
âIâm not worried about his feelings diminishing,â you said with complete sincerity. His feelings wouldnât waver, even if his actions screamed love-bombing. âI just⌠I guess I never pictured myself dating someone who owns a nightclub. He just seems out of my league.â
And he was someone who had very dangerous ties.
âNo, we donât put ourselves down here. Every league is your league, and he should be honored to be your guy.â Dana clapped her hands together. âOoh! What if we do a big date night at his club? We bring our guys, and we can all hang out?â
Your eyes widened. âI⌠Maybe,â you replied. It would just be another chance for Bucky to charm them, and it felt like youâd be asking him for a favor by letting your friends in. Heâd probably love it.
âIâm texting my man and telling him you got a diamond necklace.â Dana quickly typed something on her phone. âHe needs to step up his game.â
You were on the verge of tears. They were happy for you, but didn't seem to notice your discomfort. You didnât blame them. Not at all. It was your fault for not being truthful about the true nature of your relationship. That wedge you imagined Bucky was trying to drive between you and your friends felt real and they didn't even know.
âAs fun as it is talking about Bucky, maybe we can talk about something else?â you smiled, nudging Addison. You didnât want this whole day to be about Bucky and your relationship. âYour big day is getting closer.â
âYes, it is,â she smiled.
You relaxed in the seat when the conversation shifted to the wedding and found yourself smiling and laughing through the rest of the ride. Bucky still lingered in your mind since heâd be at the wedding. The nice part was that since you were in the bridal party, he couldnât spend the entire day with you.
âWeâre here!â Addison smiled as the limo eventually came to a stop.
You were the last to get out and you took a deep breath. The winery was the perfect mix of relaxation, beauty, and good vibes. The lush vineyard stretched across the hills, and you wished for a moment you could run through them and disappear. The sun on your face brought you back to the present and made you smile, and you couldn't wait to sample some wine with the girls. You had a right to enjoy your time.
âYou coming?â Dana asked.
âYou two go ahead. Weâll be right in,â Addison said, linking her arm with yours and leading you away from the limo. You tensed up only for a moment when you saw Rayâs vehicle in the distance. It didnât look completely out of place though since there were other cars and people around. âOkay, whatâs up? You seem on edge.â
âI do?â you asked. You thought she didnât notice, and you shouldâve known better.
âYeah. Is it work? Or is it about Bucky?â You tensed up again. âDid you think we wouldnât like him?â
âNo, thatâs not it. Itâs just a lot really fast, thatâs all,â you said, leaning in to whisper, âI didnât want to say it in the limo, but he wants me to move in with him.â
She stopped walking. âWhoa. Okay, that is fast, but some couples do move quickly in whirlwind romances, so I wouldnât say itâs completely out of the ordinary. Brady and I knew right away that we wanted to be together,â she said. What she had with Brady was pure, and you couldâve possibly had that with Bucky in another life. âMaybe Danaâs right that he just knows what he wants and he wants to go all in.â
âHeâs very much all in,â you agreed.
âAre you considering moving in with him?â
âMaybe,â you said. Bucky was going to force his hand either way.
âWow. If youâre considering that itâs either because youâre going along with what he wants or you really care about him. I hope itâs the latter,â she said, her brows pinching in concern. âBut, listen, if you arenât ready for that, he has to understand you havenât dated in some time and you should go at the pace that makes you feel comfortable. Iâm sure heâll understand and it shouldnât change how he feels.â
Your words caught in your throat. The pace wasnât yours to control, even if Natasha said you had power. There was no choice in moving in and you wish you could blurt out every single thing that transpired, but the words refused to come out. Because all you could think about was what would happen to Addison, and she didnât deserve any kind of pain.
âAnd if I do care about him and want to move in?â you asked.
âYou know weâll support whatever you do, but think about it carefully because thatâs a big step. And if things go south, you tell us right away so we can help,â she said, giving you a small smile. âHe may be your boyfriend, but youâre still my best friend and I was here first. Iâll smack him with a frying pan if he messes up.â
You blinked tears away before you hugged her. You were lucky to have a friend like her. âA frying pan? What happened to a shovel?â you teased.
âFrying pan is more accessible,â she teased back, giving you a squeeze. âNow letâs go. We have some wine to try.â
Ray kept a respectable distance from your table and didnât make eye contact as he pretended to read while sipping his drink. You were glad for that since your friends didnât seem to take notice of him as you all ate and sampled various wines. Though you were having a great time, you hardly drank a drop. You wanted to stay on guard in case Bucky decided to crash the outing.
âOh, we need to take a bottle of this home,â Dana said, pointing at her empty glass. âAnd where the hell is your cousin?!â
âShe bailed.â Addison rolled her eyes. âThat's exactly why sheâs not in the wedding party. I canât rely on her.â
âThat and sheâs a bitch,â Dana said unapologetically while pointing at you. âWe know she wouldâve said something shitty about you and Bucky, and we donât need that bad energy.â
You scoffed. Addisonâs cousin was the type who always had to one-up someone or try to tear them down so she felt better about herself. You tried to see the best in others, but you were admittedly glad she wasnât there today. âIâm sure sheâll have something to say at the wedding.â
âIf she does say anything, donât listen to her,â Addison urged. âOr say something back to shut her down.â
âRub it in her face how hot and rich Bucky is,â Dana grinned, nudging you with her elbow. âHer head will explode.â
You inhaled. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. Everything went back to him, and you had to say something. âYou know what I should tell her?â You smiled as they listened expectantly. âI should tell her that even though Bucky is rich and handsome and could have anyone he wants, he stalked me and coerced me into being his girlfriend. You think her head will still explode, or will she just laugh?â
The table went silent as you sipped your wine before they burst out laughing. A few heads turned your way from the sound, and you didnât crack a smile when Ray made eye contact with you. Had he heard what you said?
Dana laughed so hard she wheezed. âYou donât understand. I need you to tell her that just to see the look on her face. Please. I beg of you.â
âAnd make sure Buckyâs in on the joke, too,â Gina giggled.
Your heart sank. Their safety came first, but the reaction was another reason you didnât say anything. Who would possibly believe you? He was a rich and powerful man and you were merely a florist. âMaybe I can say something thatâs not quite so dark,â you smiled.
Addison stared at you curiously before she shook her head. âYou and your sense of humor,â she teased, drinking the rest of her glass. âBut if you could shut her up, Iâll be thankful.â
Your phone dinged before you could respond, and you almost spit up the little wine you had when you saw a message from Bucky.
âCall me. Now.â
Direct. No sweet words. Oh, no.
âIs that your loverboy?â Dana wiggled her eyebrows.
âAs a matter of fact it is and heâs asking for me to call him. Do you mind ifâŚâ
âGo. Weâll be right here,â Addison smiled.
Your legs felt a bit rubbery as you walked outside and took a look around to make sure no one was nearby. What if he had a bug in your phone and he heard what you said? Oh, God. You were so stupid.
Pressing his name on your phone, you let out a shaky breath when he immediately picked up. âKotyonok, I need you to come back,â he replied, his tone stern. Upset.
You swallowed. God, he did hear you. You could convince him it was a joke, right? No one had to get hurt. âWhy, whatâs wrong?â you asked, your tone remarkably calm. âWe arenât done with our samples.â
âYou were followed to Addisonâs this morning by one of Zemoâs men. Ray and I both spotted him.â There were muffled noises in the background. âI just finished⌠talking to him.â
âI was followed?â you whispered, your heart sinking for a completely different reason now. The day you went out with your friends someone followed you? âWhat did he want?â
âI can explain more later, but he had a âlook, but donât touchâ order. I broke his fingers anyway.â You closed your eyes. He sounded proud of himself. âI have some business to attend to for the rest of the day and I have to go to the club after, which is why I need you back at home.â
Ray appearing behind you almost made you drop your phone. âJesus, Ray,â you gasped, your heart nearly beating out of your chest.
âIâm sorry,â he said, briefly resting a hand on your shoulder. âBoss messaged me to bring you home.â
âYeah, Iâm talking to him right now,â you said, narrowing your eyes. âAnd Iâm not going home right now. I'm not leaving.â
âWhat?â Bucky growled. He could be angry all he wanted. You didnât care. âThis isnât something to argue about or negotiate, I need you safe and-â
âSafe? You need me to be safe?â you asked, trying to stay calm amidst the storm inside you. âHas it occurred to you that the entire reason Iâm not safe is because of you? That the only reason Zemo even cares about following me is because Iâm your girl?â
âYou think I donât know that? You think I donât know I painted the very target on your back by falling for you? Iâm well aware of that fact, but Iâm also the one who can keep you safe.â He sounded almost as vulnerable as he did when he talked about his mom. âSo just⌠come home.â
You chewed the inside of your cheek. Home. âYou know, there are a lot of dangerous people out there who have families and loved ones. And Iâm sure some of them are blissfully unaware of what goes on behind the scenes, but not all of them are. Some are very well aware of what their partners do for a living because they were told what they were getting into.â
âKotyonok-â
âBut you didnât, Bucky. You didnât let me know what I was getting into. One look at me and you made the decision for me and sealed my fate,â you continued, looking sadly at Ray. âSo while Iâm thinking of you today like you wanted, I want you to think of me and that target you painted on my back and my loved ones. And think about if you really love me the way you say you do.â
âI do love you,â he breathed. It would be nice to believe that. âCome home, please, and weâll talk when I get back from the club.â
âIâm finishing the day with my friends. Ray will stay here with me. I also need to go to my place before I go to the penthouse,â you said. If he wanted you there so badly, he could bend a bit since you were in no direct danger at the moment. âAnd donât expect a happy conversation like we had this morning.â
One step forward, two steps back.
âIâll just be happy that youâre safe,â he said, which only infuriated you more. You couldnât make out what he ordered to someone else, but the muffled noises picked up again. âLeave in thirty minutes. The driver will drop your friends off and heâll take you to the apartment. Ray will take you home from there.â
âTwo hours,â you stated just to be stubborn.
âOne hour,â he countered. âOr Iâll drive there myself.â
You huffed, but didnât want to test him. âFine. Iâll leave in one hour.â The girls would understand if you made some excuse.
âThank you,â he exhaled. He really did sound relieved. âI love you. Iâll see you later this evening.â
You waited a beat. âThink about what I said.â Ray waited patiently as you hung up. âHave I told you that your boss is a pain in the ass?â
âHe certainly is, but he is correct that your safety is important,â he agreed, gently stopping you before you went back inside. âIf you arenât in the limo in one hour, he will come after you.â
âI know,â you sighed. Bucky would be dramatic like that. And protective. âSomeone was really following me?â you asked in a small voice. Bucky had no reason to lie unless he was trying to get you away from your friends.
Ray nodded solemnly. âIt couldâve been to report your movements back to Zemo, but Iâd have to ask the boss for more details since I didnât get to interrogate him myself.â
âI do appreciate you both spotting him,â you complimented, even if Bucky violently handled it. You shouldnât have expected anything less.
âOf course.â There was a ghost of a smile on his face. âYou were wrong, you know.â
Your brows pinched. âAbout what?â
âYour strength. You handled that well all things considered,â he answered.
âYouâre only saying that because you canât read my mind,â you said. It was a mess. But you hadnât broken down or cried, so that was a plus.
For a moment you thought heâd laugh, but he merely nodded to the building. âBetter go join your friends before they miss you.â
âThanks, Ray,â you whispered, putting a smile back on your face as you walked back inside and headed back to the table.
Addison held up two fingers. âYou missed two more rounds of samples.â
âI guess I'll have to catch up,â you teased. âAnd would anyone object to leaving in an hour? Buckyâs planning a romantic evening for the two of us, and I need to stop by my apartment before I head over to his place,â you said. It was partially true. âIf you all want to stay, Iâll get an uber and you can take the limo.â
âAn hourâs fine.â Dana blinked a few times. âAnyone else tired? Iâm a little tired.â
Gina covered her mouth when she yawned. âYeah, I am, too.â
âI feel fine,â you said, frowning when Addison yawned, too. âAre you okay?â
âYeah, but a nap sounds good right about now,â she said, pushing her now empty glass away and checking the time. âIt is kind of late. Itâll be night time when we get back.â
You stared at your own glass, dread filling your stomach. You felt perfectly fine, but they looked tired. Was it possible that someone slipped something in their drinks or food? Did Ray do something or did Bucky set something up in order to make you leave? Or were you just being paranoid?
âIs everyone okay?â you asked. It felt like too much of a coincidence that they all felt tired after you came back to the table. âShould we just leave right now?â
âIâm fine. I was just up really late last night,â Addison answered. Dana and Gina nodded in agreement.
âMaybe we should cut back on the samples and stick with water,â you suggested.
âYouâve always been the sensible one,â Dana said, resting her chin in her hand. âBut can we still buy some bottles?â
âYeah. As many as we want,â you promised. Bucky did say heâd spoil you, so why not?
Exactly one hour later, you were back in the limo with the girls and plenty of bottles. Unlike the ride over, the ride back was much quieter. You thought Addison would fall asleep on your shoulder at one point and Dana actually did fall asleep at one point for a few minutes. They somehow didnât stumble on the way to the limo, and it wouldâve impressed you if you werenât so worried.
âAre you sure you girls are okay? Should we go to the hospital?â you asked.
âWhy would we do that? We drank more at my bachelorette party than we did today. Weâre fine,â Addison assured you. âYou worry too much.â
You had good reason to worry. âThis sounds crazy, but did you drug my friends? I need to know if I should take them to the hospital.â you messaged Bucky. If he did something to themâŚ
He typed something back right away. âHow could I possibly drug your friends when I wasnât there? Is everyone okay?â
Did he actually care? âIâm fine, but theyâre very drowsy and Iâm worried.â
âRay kept me updated and he didnât see anything out of the ordinary. None of Zemoâs men were there. I didn't do anything either. Did any of them complain that they were dizzy? Nauseous? Did anyone pass out?â
âNo, but it could've been something like Benadryl to make them drowsy and get me to possibly leave faster.â Or punish you by mentioning the stalking thing, if he knew, and show you that his reach expanded beyond the city.
âThatâs a very creative method to get you to leave, but lots of wine can make anyone drowsy and I have no reason to do that to your friends. I think our conversation may have scared you a bit since Zemo had someone watching you and youâre understandably worried for your friends.â
You looked around at your friends. They did drink a lot more wine than you, and drugging people didnât seem to be Buckyâs style. Zemoâs men werenât there. Maybe you were being paranoid and the girls really were just tired. Being part of Buckyâs circle just made you question everything.
âOkay. Iâm trusting you.â You had to.
âThank you. Your worry aside, it sounds like you girls had fun though from what I heard. Maybe the next day out can be at my club. Could be fun.â
You gasped. Did he know what Dana suggested? No, no, no. You werenât falling down that rabbit hole, and didnât send any texts back for the rest of the drive.
Brady and the other guys were waiting on the curb when the limo stopped at Addisonâs. You were the only one who didnât get out, but you gave each of them hugs and helped hand out the wine to their significant others. They seemed a bit more awake, so maybe they were just fine. âLove you girls. And, guys, keep an eye on them. They had quite a few samples,â you said. Youâd have to text each of them later to check on them.
âLove you,â the girls echoed before the door shut.
The driver headed in the direction of your place after a minute. What were you going to say to Bucky when you saw him? Would you scream at him for putting you in danger, or would you just accept that this was your life? It was a continuous losing battle the more you fought.
The morning you had with Bucky, minus the groping, had been somewhat nice. Could it be like that all the time if you tried? Could it be better if he loosened the reins?
âThank you,â you said when the limo stopped and the partition rolled down a few inches. âHow much do I owe you?â
âMr. Barnes took care of that, miss, but if youâll allow me-â
âOh, no. Please donât get out. I got it,â you smiled, letting yourself out. You scanned the street for Rayâs car, but didnât see it. He was likely waiting for the limo to pull away.
Two steps into your building, your phone dinged. âWhat now?â you muttered when you opened a text from Bucky.
âRay got a flat tire. Stay in the limo.â
You read the message twice. A flat tire? You were about to type back to Bucky that you already left the limo when you heard a familiar voice by the elevator. âItâs about time you got back.â
You couldnât breathe when you found a pair of blue eyes staring at you. âClark⌠what are you doing here?â
Oh, I hope you lovelies are prepared for the next part. And what do we think of your friends? And were they just drowsy or did something happen? Love and thanks for reading! â¤ď¸
Masterlist â Bucky Barnes Masterlist â Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes#club owner!bucky barnes#club owner!bucky barnes x reader#soft!dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes au#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#the winter soldier#bucky fanfic#bucky imagine#x reader#hold you tight#hyt#turn it up au
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double double âđâËâšâĄ
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player 380 (se-mi) x fem reader AND guard 011 (kang no-eul) x fem reader ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ cw: no-eul and se-mi both have a g!p (girl penis), threesome, creampie, unprotected sex, blowjob, masturbation, sexting??, some fluff bc why not
iâm incredibly sorry for not posting a lot anymore. iâve just been really busy lately but iâll still take requests because yes, i need more ideas đđ.
you dip your fingers deep inside your vagina, your fingers trace around your wetness, the pink flesh inside your pussy. soft moans escape from your mouth as you struggle to reach over to grab your phone with your unoccupied hand to record yourself fingering and playing with your pussy and send it to the girl who youâve been crushing on since high school.
this love interest of yours has also had feelings for you but you two have never dated since your former classmates didnât like the idea of same-sex relationships.
but now that youâve graduated and you finally feel confident enough to do whatever the fuck you wanted, you finally found the chance to have contact with that girl again.
se-mi was her name, wasnât it?
you thought to yourself as you tapped on the record button on your phone and continued pumping your fingers in and out of your pussy. you made a few fake moans to make it seem more lewd than it already was. you found yourself spreading your folds with your fingers, playing around with your clit and teasing yourself until you eventually came.
what if she forgot about me and found someone else?
you thought again as you saved the video into your camera and tossed your phone aside as you made your way to the bathroom to clean yourself up.
she couldnât possibly⌠she basically promised that she would give me the world back then.
you went back to your room and picked up your phone, starring at the âwhoâs thisâ message from her. you let out a big sigh and started typing away, explaining who you were, hoping she hasnât forgotten about you.
âse-mi, you seriously donât remember me?â
read
your head falls back against the couchâs backrest, feeling your phone drop out of your hands. your eyes become teary realizing that se-mi didnât want anything to do with you anymore.
2 months later
it was the day before valentineâs day and you were in your room snacking on chocolate bars and scrolling through instagram, seeing all your friends post their partners. you felt happy for them but you were tired of being single and alone. suddenly, you see a notification and to your surprise, it was se-mi.
a smile grew on your face as you immediately opened her message.
âhey, letâs talkâ
seeing that message made you giggle, you finally thought the universe granted your wish and that you were finally going to be happy.
just as you were typing, an incoming call popped up on your screen.
it was her.
as you were calling with her, your brain flooded with memories that you shared with her back in high school. you felt like you were finally at peace for once. you felt like you finally have gotten what youâve wanted.
after the call, you both agreed to go on a date at a local restaurant the next day for valentineâs day.
âmy pretty girl, iâm sorry i havenât answered you for so long, nonetheless, iâm also sorry i never even tried getting in contact with you again after we graduated,â se-mi said as she held your hand tightly as the two of you walked out of the restaurant.
you stopped and watched her reach for something in her bag, she pulls out a letter along with a small gift box.
âit might not be much, but this sure is given to you by me with lots of love. happy valentineâs day,â se-mi said as she handed the gift and the letter.
you held the small box in your hands. curiously, you open the box carefully and find a small pink beaded bracelet. it was the bracelet she wanted to give you back in high school.
âse-mi, how did you manage to keep it for all these years? you really havenât forgotten about me havenât you?â you smiled.
âno. in fact, iâve always dreamed about the day we could finally start dating and perhaps start a future together soon,â se-mi said and pressed a kiss on your forehead.
you starred into her deep dark brown eyes, her gaze looking soft and full of love that made you want to pull her into a kiss.
you missed the feeling of her soft lips meeting yours, her tongue entering your mouth, her taste, her soft whines. but here you are, experiencing that all over again.
you found yourself under her, her body pressed against yours, on top of you on your bed. both of you felt hungry for each other and the fabric of your clothes began to feel uncomfortable as if you were urging to take them off to feel her bare skin against yours.
âbaby, before i take my clothes off,â she hesitated as she broke the hot make out session between the two of you, âi want to share a secret of mine to youâ. se-mi rolls off the bed and unbuckles her belt. you tilt your head, you curiously wonder what type of secret she was hiding from you.
just as you began unbuttoning your shirt, she unzips her pants and pulls them down, revealing her grey boxers.
âyou wearing boxers is your biggest secret?â you giggled but your smile eventually faded away as soon as you saw a bulge. your eyes widened as she pulled them down.
she has a dick..? it definitely looks real but it looks bigger than averageâŚ
you felt your pussy getting wet at the sight of her dick becoming hardened. so you immediately undress yourself, leaving yourself only wearing a pair of pink panties that will soon be torn apart by the hands of se-mi.
âse-miâŚâ you whined as her tip teased your clothed pussy. âyou know.. it wouldâve been funny if i told you about this back then so that way i could be pounding your pussy all day everyday in the school bathrooms,â se-mi giggled as she spread your thighs.
âoh baby..!â you moan out loudly as se-mi reaches over and rips open your panties, revealing your tight pussy covered in its own juices. you lick your lips at the feeling of her hard member about to enter your tight pussy.
se-mi rubs her tip around your slick, making you whine and feel frustrated since she kept edging you.
oh but how much she loves watching you whine and get all fuzzy when she teases youâŚ
just before you could stick it in yourself, you feel her push her dick inside you, causing you to scream. âoh fuck.. never knew it was that fucking huge!â you let out a loud moan as she started thrusting inside of your baby maker slowly, but hard.
you could see the satisfaction se-mi had on her face and she looked fucking proud having her new girlfriend act like a slut for her dick. she watched you crave for it, savour it, watched your pussy devour it whole.
âyou know,â she spoke up, her voice sounding quite raspy, âthere was this girl that went to the same school as us and she also had a dick like meâ. her thrusts accelerated but her main goal was to beat your cervix deep and hard, no matter the pace.
âher name?â you spoke in between moans. âkang.. hmm i donât rememberâŚâ se-mi answered, her thrusts creating wet slapping sounds that mixed perfectly with her moans and yours.
âwell for now.. it doesnât matter, doll,â se-miâs voice became gentle as she was about to cum. âoh fuck!â se-mi yelled out as she gave you a creampie, her hot cum filling up your womb.
you squirm around the bed feeling her hot load mixing around in your womb. âse-mi..â you moan, her body collapsing on top of yours. âher name was kang no-eul,â se-mi whispered into your ear.
2 months later, you and se-mi were constantly getting into arguments, meaning your relationship with her wasnât working out how you wanted it to. but what she doesnât know was that you recently started talking with no-eul.
yeah, youâre an asshole for thatâŚ
but are you really one? besides, se-mi wasnât fulfilling any of your needs, not even the bare minimum. so what does she expect? does she expect you to still stay with her even though your relationship with her is in the ruins?
you donât remember much about no-eul. all you remember from her is how she used to get in trouble at school a lot and how she constantly dated many girls at once. you never liked no-eul since you thought she was a jerk and an asshole. but you came to think about how she could probably have matured by now and how she could probably be better than se-mi.
the air felt warm, the flowers outside went from being small buds to beautiful colourful flowers with petals of all shapes and sizes. it was may and you recently have broken up with se-mi since you found no-eul now, and you realized how much better she is than se-mi.
you and no-eul werenât dating yet but today the two of you decided to go to the mall as a small date. no-eul had a thing for constantly touching your thighs, hugging you, caressing you, even in public. you never minded it though, in fact, you loved it.
as the day was ending, no-eul had to go home but you didnât have a lift so you went in her car. the ride home wasnât awkward at all since the two of you were listening to songs on the radio that the both of you enjoyed.
âdonât you want to stay at my house for the night instead?â no-eul suggested as she parked outside of your home. you shaked her head, rejecting her offer since you werenât comfortable enough yet. but as a way to build comfortability with her, you leaned in and gave her a peck on her cheek. âiâll see you later, i promise,â you said as you gave her another kiss on her cheek and then you got off the vehicle.
that night, your feelings for her began to grow and so they did as the week went by.
âfucking brat,â no-eul grunted as she pushed your head against the bathroom stall the two of you were having sex in. your back was arched and you were bent over, taking her dick inside you. she pumped her dick in and out of your pussy and asshole.
she was so fucking advanced at thisâŚ
anyone who entered the bathroom could hear the moans and fast slapping sounds coming from the stall the two of you were in.
âfucking tempting me all day with you wearing a skirt and you only wore a pair of panties with a hole in them underneath, fucking pervert,â no-eul said as she put her finger inside your mouth as she kept thrusting inside your pussy. âdonât pull out,â you spoke up, your saliva coating her fingers as she put another one in. âyou want me to breed you?â she asked using a sarcastic tone. you nodded. âyou seriously want my cum dripping out of your pussy in front of everyone? have fucking morals,â she asked again, thrusting in slowly but hard, clearly giving signs that she was about to bust a nut inside of you.
âoh but how could i ever want to pull out? your gummy cervix feels so stretchy and warm,â she giggled as small spurts of her seed spurted inside of you. she gave her last thrust and pushed her dick inside of you, as deep as possible as her cum filled your cunt. it didnât have much difference to se-miâs cum. but you could tell se-miâs was much more watery and no-eulâs was thick and sticky.
she pulled out, a string of her cum connected between her tip and your pussy. you turned around and adjusted your skirt and put your panties back on quick, not having enough time to wipe off her cum from your thighs and pussy.
âletâs go to my house at this point.. youâre going to feel uncomfortable all day if you walk around like this,â she said, giving you a kiss on your lips.
just as soon as you entered her home and she shut the door behind yâall, she unzipped her pants, bent you over, lifted your skirt, pulled down your panties and began fucking you relentlessly again. âtake off your clothes please, oh fuck, i want to see your tits and everything,â no-eul said, her voice reeking with lust.
she threw you onto a nearby couch, you quickly took off your skirt and unhooked your bra, and took off the rest of your clothes.
she threw herself onto you, her tits pressing against yours, she gave you sloppy wet kisses on your lips. her nipples became hardened and turned into a bright pink color as she entered you again. this time, it slipped inside of you perfectly since her dick was covered in her own pre-cum and your pussy had her left over cum still dripping out of you. âyouâre so hot, mommy,â you whimpered as she threw your leg over her shoulder and felt her jack hammering inside of you, beads of sweat coating her forehead. âmommy, eh?â she giggled, clearly feeling aroused by the pet name you gave her.
âcome on baby, i want you on your hands and knees now, and donât forget to arch that back,â she ordered as she randomly pulled out and saw you follow her order. instead, the upper part of your body laid on the couch making it better for you to arch your back as much as possible.
she slipped it in again, she gave your ass a sharp slap. her hands gripped onto your sides, thrusting in deep and fast.
âyour ex.. se-mi.. wants to see you again,â
later that evening
you were laying next to no-eul, cuddling with her until you heard your phone ringing. you reach over to pick it up and took a look at the phone number that was calling.
it was se-mi.
âno-eul, you were right!â
âpick it up then, letâs see what she has to say,â
you answer the phone, and hear se-miâs voice. you havenât heard her voice since the day you broke up with her.
âiâm outside of no-eulâs but you can tell me to leave,â
âno, no, itâs fineâiâll go unlock the door for you,â
âgreat, thanks,â
âbefore you hang up, whyâre you wanting to see me again?â
âweâll talk about it when you let me in,â
you hung up the call then turned to look at no-eul, who was listening to the entire conversation. âiâm not stopping you,â no-eul said. âbut sheâs my exâarenât you worried she might want to get back with me,â you added.
âand is that my problem? besides, you know whoâs better,â she said then reached over to caress your cheek. you sighed, âfineâ.
you opened the door and saw se-mi standing in the doorway. before you could at least say hi to her, she walked right past you and went directly towards no-eul.
could it be that no-eul asked se-mi to come over?
âslow down! fuck!â you yelled out as se-mi bounced you up and down onto no-eulâs dick.
here you are, having a fucking threesome with your ex and your current girlfriend.
âyour pussy really loosened up after getting with no-eul, didnât it?â se-mi giggled, her hands lifted your body up and down onto no-eul faster and faster until you couldnât take it anymore. âtoo bad you canât see how pretty she looks right now, bouncing up and down on you, no-eul,â she teased.
no-eul scoffed, rolled her eyes and said, âand too bad you couldnât be a good girlfriend for her so she had to run to me.â
se-mi furrowed her eyebrows and stopped what she was doing. you got off of no-eulâs lap then watched se-mi push you onto the bed. you laid on your stomach and felt se-mi grip onto your hips and pulled you towards her. âse-mi.. i missed you,â you uttered. se-mi, with a smirk on her face, began to fuck your pussy from behind relentlessly. she didnât care about starting off slow or gentle, she went fast and rough, her tip hitting the end of your cervix with each pound.
âno-eul, donât you want to join?â you asked. no-eul got in front of you, pulling your hair, making your head lift up to look at her. âof course i do,â she said. âopen your mouth, baby,â no-eul ordered as you opened your mouth slightly.
âgood girl,â
no-eul slipped her dick inside of your mouth while se-mi continued pounding you from behind.
this would make a great porno, wouldnât it? the title for it could be double double.
too bad no-eul was actually fucking other girls whilst the two of you were dating. she never matured.
se-mi was really the one for you. afterall, despite the ups and downs, she always stayed loyal and she knew your heart only belonged to her.
#wlw#wlw community#wlw post#wlw blog#wlw love#fanfic#squid game#player 380#kang no eul#no eul x reader#se mi x reader#se mi squid game#guard 011
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Your Private Dancer
A/N: Everybody say thank you Tina Turner; man I really am just a mixture of everything Iâve seen and heard.Â
CW: Dancing for money, sex work/ prostitution mentioned, using money as manipulation, Reader wears makeup n' heels lmao
Synopsis: You work at the downtown peep show dancing for quarters, trying to get out of the rough patch youâve fallen into. Seemingly, a man out of your usual customer regulars has business with you.
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Tonight, a habitual fear bobbed its way inside your head, just as it had the night before. The idea of your bossâs beige, neatly ironed trousers becoming ever-so visible from under the slowly rising black curtains was making an appearance, his aged face slick with sweat, with desire behind the see-through plastic shield.
Again, the same scene but with a distant friend on the other side of the decaying plastic that separated you from your⌠clients. Theyâd be popping in the coins you worked for-- mere quarters, often giving you barely enough to buy a drink for the night.
This line of work could be greedy, could sap all energy and self-worth you had-- but for some, it had led to better lives; ones where they could purchase groceries for their kids or nice handbags if they decided to skimp out on dinner that week.Â
Never you, though. How long has it been since you started working at the peep show, two months? You barely made enough to cover rent, and that was primarily paid for by your office job handling phones and directing clients to your bulging bossâs office.Â
Taking a swig of some bottom shelf vodka you so sneakily hid into a mug, you drank the thoughts away, waiting patiently for the electric blue lights to come on. If you had any less self respect, youâd dare to sit on the yellow tile beneath your studded heels, legs aching from standing ten tilâ two waiting for some man or another off the street to feed your coin box something of substance. You prayed for whoever came next-- if anyone-- they wouldnât try to shove another piece of gum or arcade coin in as a cheap ploy. You thought they did it more to fuck with you and get a free show than a true lack of being able to pay for their lust.Â
On the brink of lighting an unused cigarette left next to your mug, the lights of your five-by-five room soon became illuminated by the cobalt blue lights of the client room across from you. Velvet curtains rose to show a pair of black slacks, left knee impatiently bouncing. The blue never bathed the entirety of your small room; it was just an illusion for the paying customer, making everything in front of them turn an electric shade that used to burn your eyes; now, you wished you were doused in that blue, instead of witnessing the yellow stains on the walls beside the see-through window, the dirty circles formed on the green walls from put-out cigarette butts.Â
The curtains rose to his neck, and you knew it was time to start dancing. You were by no means a professional-- hell, you never moved this much unless it was in this room. But you were pretty good at making yourself consumable, as if the men on the other side could have you-- could taste the way your hips gyrated and how you grabbed at your chest, stroking and fondling yourself in a desperate attempt to keep the money coming. For some of those who worked the peep show, it was liberating; no man could touch them, and they could rake in all the money theyâd need. For you-- it was just a step above demeaning yourself to being touched.
You started slow-- sensual. He was looking at you, of course-- but he hadnât even gotten his pants down yet. You rarely get these kinds of men, the ones who just liked to stare, maybe smoke a cigarette and put the rest of their quarters in their pockets to leave with a frown of boredom.
You let your hands rise from your hips, gracefully dancing up your stomach, to your chest. You circle around your shapes of hard and soft, letting each curve flow beneath your fingers as if it were his hands touching you.Â
You hadnât gotten a good look at the man, watching him from the corner of your blurry eyes as he brought a hand to his mouth. He stroked his jaw before bringing the cigarette between his fingers to his lips. He scrutinized, a small line creasing under his eye as his gaze traveled the intimate way you swayed your hips.Â
He occasionally took a drink from an engraved scotch glass saved for VIP members, those who made monthly payments in cash that the owner hoarded in his liquor cabinet. Not many paid such a hefty price unless they routinely took clients or coworkers here-- and even then, the existence of powerful businessmen in such a grimy part of the city like this, with a less than clean business-- was so rare you were suspicious.Â
But your suspicions were buried as soon as he left your dancing cell, your mind quick to focus on electric bills and the next few nights of eating dry pasta and watching bad reality TV, slaving away at the office and more early mornings at the peep show. It almost didnât surprise you to see him at your dance room again a few days later-- until he started showing up multiple times a week. Like clockwork at 11:02, he was sitting across from you with a cigarette or an indulgent glass. Sometimes, heâd merely watch. You had a few regulars, but none like him⌠not âthisâ regular.
Even with keeping your eyes glued on your own reflection, youâd catch the dark blacks of his own trained on you, his face bathed in blue and zoned in on your expression. He never unbuttoned his pants, never lingered his eyes on one area for too long, even if he scanned you up and down with a sultriness.
You couldnât deny that you felt like you needed to impress him, to make him react or find a reason to keep seeing you; he was allowing you to afford paying rent, putting coins in to last for a 30-minute session before heâd disappear into the night. But you never spoke to him, never had any kind of interaction besides that unspoken ritual.Â
Another month at the peep show passed, and you found yourself fixing up your makeup in the vanity, trying desperately to get a thick layer of eyeliner right. A thick knock rapped against the dressing room door, a foreign sound; none of the workers knocked, finding no reason to. Your boss stuck his head through the gap, his receding hairline shiny and his thin silver chain looking dull from the overhead light. For such a sleaze, he was kinder than most when it came to treating his employees fairly. Maybe because he was keen on avoiding complaints and federal eyes.Â
âGot a visitor for ya.â He chewed a thick wad of gum, talking in a voice lower than you had ever heard him speak in. âThis oneâs a big fish, alright? Donât do anything to piss him off-- heâs the reason youâre getting such a good payout tonight.â
Payout? You didnât get paid in anything other than quarters once the night ended, unless someone was looking for further services of which you were not interested in providing.Â
Your boss leaves the door open a crack, his mumbles traveling in as he spoke to someone outside. The door was knocked on again, but no one came in.
âItâs open.â You say, a little thrown off by the way your voice cracks a pitch higher.Â
The door opens fully, closing behind the stranger as he moves forward. You look in the mirror to see him, but are forced to turn around to believe your eyes.Â
âItâs you.âÂ
You look at him-- nice suit, pressed and finely tailored, with even a small handkerchief in its breast pocket.
His hair isn't dark like you had imagined under the blue light, but rather a gold brown, deep and cool-toned. For being so young, he had deep creases below his eyes, as if he had been worried since birth.
âIâve paid for your shift tonight. â He stares at you, direct but with some underlying, concerned thought. âYour manager says thereâs a room upstairs, where we can be alone-- privately.â
Youâre disgusted by the mention of anything above the underground cells youâve danced in, recalling the thin walls of faked moans and foul dialogue youâd tried to avoid.Â
âIâm not a prostitute,â You say brusquely, watching the stoicism on his expression falter. âYou can have your money back, I donât want it if thatâs what youâre expecting.â
âIâm not.â He says, sounding a bit off guard and adjusting his tie almost habitually. âI want.. To talk, If you can believe that,â His hard gaze shifts to minute worry, as if this wasnât how he expected it to go. âThis isnât⌠I want to help.â
Youâre more so puzzled than offended now, staring at the pool of his ink-like eyes, no traceable ounce of debauchery behind them. If you said no, it almost seems like he wouldnât care less, besides for another crease layered under his eye.Â
âWhat for?â You question, guarded and fiddling with your absurdly short low-rise shorts; the discomfort was part of the appeal, supposedly.Â
âI have a proposition for you-- a deal. You donât have to accept it, of course. Just listen to what I have to say.âÂ
He lifts his eyebrows, trying to gauge your reaction, your potential interest. You continue to squint at him, realizing now you were near past the start of your shift; You were losing money as you sat here.Â
âMaybe this will convince you; I already let your manager know not to bother us.â
 Like a true businessman, he rummages through the inner pockets of his suit in an attempt to find something hidden. Finally reaching into the left side he pulls out a thin, blank envelope.Â
With two hands, he brings the envelope towards you with unnecessary formality, and you waste no time taking it. Besides overdue bills and unpaid bank statements, you rarely opened any other kind of unmarked envelope.
It wasnât even closed when you tried to open it, the top un-licked and sticky. You looked inside, not needing to take out the content to understand what was in it. Several fifties were lined against each other, scarce in their numbers but large in what they equaled together.Â
âWhat⌠is this for?â The shock you gave with your agape mouth almost made him grin a bit, fascinated. He rarely felt pleasure in the wide-eyed stare his clients would give him at the same sight, but you werenât them. Oh no, you were far from them.Â
âJust a talk. I can pay you more afterwards.â
Your gut senses danger-- perhaps he took pleasure in luring unsuspecting victims from low places with money, killing them for sport. But, he looked too clean-- too unmotivated.
You should say no, should turn away and finish putting on your makeup and tell him you arenât looking for a pimp.Â
You pocket the money, crumpling the envelope and putting it on your vanity.Â
âI donât do anything under the clothes; I can give you a lap dance at most and thatâs it.â
You lead the man out of the dressing room, not bothering to close the door.Â
He leads the way upstairs, watching the grimy pictures decorating the walls with feigned interest, some in black and white, others grainy and full of half-naked women. You kind of wish you had led the way now; atleast then you wouldnât feel like youâre following an omen to your doom, farther deep into the velvet hallway.
âMy name is Dakota.â He utters, quiet and firm.Â
You brush past him, getting in front to open the door at the beginning of the hall. âWhat, no last name?â
 You still wonder if you should turn back, even if it means losing your job. But you persevere, holding a dramatic hand towards the now opened room as if you were a doorman.
âI imagine you arenât interested in my last name,â He stops to take a short view of the client room before settling his eyes back on you. âAnd regardless, Iâd much rather know yours.â
You open your mouth to speak, but are quick to be cut off as he walks past you into the creaky, red-pink room.
âI know you wonât tell me, a part of the show-room code, or so Iâm told. but it doesnât matter; I already know.âÂ
He reads your mind again as you barely get a moment to protest.
âIâm accustomed to going through unnatural ways to find the information that I need, but donât bother asking for why or how, I wonât tell you.â
Your body tenses as you shut the door behind you, the red lowlights of the bedroom making your heart pound just a little louder.
âYou canât just say something like that and not expect me to want to know-- it's my privacy damn it,â Youâve forfeited any sexy walking as you come closer. âIf youâre some kind of creepy stalker--â
âI guess I could be labeled as that.â Dakota slumps to sit on the edge of the bed, sinking into the dipping mattress. He almost relaxes, shoulders drooping along with his eyes, uncharacteristically so.
âIâve come here to offer you a chance for safety,â He loosens his tie, watching as you stand there, tensing your back and one step directed toward the door.Â
Dakota wasnât blind to your hesitation, your unease. But you were wrong to think heâd let you go just because of a little fear; you had a lot to learn about him.
You watch him look at you, waiting expectantly for him to go on. But he doesnât and you realize heâs waiting for you to start-- to do something of which he paid copious amounts of cash for. So, you do what you do best, and what you feel safest doing, where no man can touch or stroke you.
Itâs not as extravagant of a dance as when youâre in the coin-operated cell, but it's intimate enough.Â
You keep your eyes to the floor, only looking up at Dakota to egg him on, letting your feet drift you in a rhythm. He looks entranced for a moment, offering a stare that was far from innocent-- but not as hungrily disturbing as you had expected.Â
âYour co-workers wonât be given the same option, this is an opportunity directed at and intended only for you.â You come closer, small struts as Dakota completely unties his tie. âIâve got a variety of apartments across the city, most of which are rented out or used as a small place to come back to when I've got business farther out. And no-- I wonât tell you what kind of business I do.âÂ
You almost grunt in frustration, keeping your eyes on him.Â
Youâre nearly toe to toe with him now, watching from above as he puts his hands back on the bed.Â
âOne of these apartments is not too far from here,â He squints his eyes, deliberating. âA few blocks away, I'd say.âÂ
Your hands slow as you drop them to the front of your hips, Dakotaâs eyes following them.Â
âIt can be yours. If youâd like.âÂ
âWhat?â
You stop, dropping your arms and watching the pink glow from under the bed cast a shadow up to Dakotaâs cheeks.
âSome people call this kind of an arrangement âsugar babyingâ but thatâs a bit too crude for my tastes.â His eyes are still traveling from your wrist to your forearm. âYouâll be on an allowance, of course. But it means you wonât have to work here anymore.â
The way he said âhereâ, it was clear what he thought of it.
âYou can quit that desk job too; or keep it, if you want. But I canât imagine it being much fun. Either way, you wonât be working here anymore. Not with the kind of men who are looking at you while Iâm away.â Â
Dakotaâs gaze finally met your own, his tired hand coming up to stroke his curved jaw.Â
âYouâre not actually being serious, are you? This is some kind of sick joke?â You let out a short laugh, lacking in humor.Â
Even with him dressed to the nines in a suit that no creature who stepped foot in this place could afford, you wouldnât allow yourself to believe it. You shake your head in ridiculousness, taking a step back.
âSorry, I have other customers to attend to; I canât be dealing with this shit right now.âÂ
You turn to walk away, feeling less safe than you ever had; if he was delusional, or some kind of sick sadist who thought he could buy your life-- he had another thing coming.
âHold on,â Dakota grabs at your fingers, almost desperate in his grasp. His eyes were void of anything other than concern. âIâve booked you for the whole night, I donât recall asking for you to leave.â
Booked? You were under the impression you just received a little extra bonus from this stranger. Just how much were your managerâs morals worth? Did he care AT ALL what he mightâve âsoldâ you for?
Dakota held on, even with you hesitantly shuffling back to where you stood.Â
âYou donât have to accept what Iâm offering-- just consider it,â He stays seated, bringing your hand palm-up towards him. âThough, Iâve been told I'm quite persuasive.â
âLook man, whatever youâre selling, I'm not buying. Iâll have you know Iâm perfectly content with my job, and Iâm not looking for some kind of âsaviorâ if thatâs what youâre trying to be.â
You could feel your own lie cutting deep into you, and by the looks of it Dakota didnât believe it either. He looked at you, a kind of benign glare leaving from his oaky eyes.Â
âCall me by my name.â He says, barely above a whisper.
â...Huh?âÂ
âIâm not just some âmanâ. Call me by my name.â
Dakota ran his thumb down your palm to your middle finger, keeping your hand hostage between both of his own. He looked to you, then back down to his grasped treasure. He looked like he didnât really know what to do with it, but that it was something intimate he didnât want to let go of.Â
âWha--okay fine. Dakota. This isnât some kind of game,â The name felt weird coming out of your mouth, but watching who it belonged toâs reaction was even stranger.Â
He shivered. Physically shivered at the guttural hearing of his name, of the consonants and vowels sliding off your tongue.Â
Dakota looked down, avoiding your gaze as he memorized each line and indent in your fingers. You wanted to pull your hand away, to recoil in disgust and fling him off like some kind of bug. But in a way, he looked small sitting there, head down and entranced at the details of your fingers, the ridges of your palms, the shaking pulling at his shoulders as he asked you to say his name again.Â
âDakota.â You mutter, wondering if this was some kind of kink.
With the way he stopped a groan midway from slipping, you were sure you werenât too far off. But whatever he was into, now was not the time for discovery.
âThis is, just ridiculous. Were you listening to me, at all?â You tilt your head, trying to catch his eyes to see if you could see what the hell he was so captivated by.
His thumb pressed hard against your palm, short nail digging just slightly to leave a crescent shape.Â
Without the response, you were starting to get fed up. You pulled your hand away, sliding smoothly out of his warm, dry grasp.Â
At this, his head shot up, watching you with a kind of look as if he had come from out of a panicked daze.
âIâve wondered what my name would sound like from your mouth-- I could never hear anything from the other side of the glass.âÂ
â...Right.â You arenât sure if you should still be worried, but his fascination with you made you feel a little concerned.Â
Dakota propped himself up again, seemingly realizing his recent lack of finesse.Â
âTake my business card.â He seemed to say all of a sudden, searching blindly in his inner-jacket pockets like he did to give you your payment for the night. He seemed a little scattered, padding up and down to look for his cards before finding one in his breast pocket. âHere.â
You grab it, finally getting an inkling of answers to who he was besides the money and his name.Â
Unfortunately for you, the card didnât offer much else from what you already knew. There was his name in ink-black font, âDAKOTA--VERIDIAN FIRMSâ and a small phone number, barely readable beneath.Â
âThatâs my personal number. Day or night, donât hesitate to call. Iâll answer.â He looks at you with an inappropriate level of intensity.
âOkay.âÂ
âNow that thatâs squared away--â He sighs, relaxing backwards again, watching you hold the business card. âWe can return to business as usual;â He keeps his eyes on yours, displaying a kind of tension and expectation. âI believe you were dancing, and I was enjoying your company.âÂ
You canât imagine spending the rest of your shift solely dancing for one man, in this dreary far-too cold room that had seen too much. You donât move, not ready for the rest of tonight to continue.
Dakota brings out another small envelope, this time with ease. Looking at it expectantly, he then looks back to you.Â
You began to move your shoulders to the rhythm of the thumping music from downstairs, using it as a way to distract your thoughts. Dakota puts the envelope on the bed, letting out a sigh as he voyeured in novelty, watching you gaze at the heart-shaped headboard behind him.Â
You tried to keep your thoughts empty, but it was near impossible. How much could you be bought for, and how much more would it take for you to agree to be his?Â
#son of a buscuit I did the pacing thing again#Its like we GET IT get to the sexy part now...#yandere male#yandere writing#yanderecore#male yandere#yandere aesthetic#yandere boy#yandere boyfriend#yandere imagines#yandere oc x reader#yandere#yandere scenarios#yandere smut#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere x reader#yandere sugar daddy#sugar daddy yandere#yandere sugar daddy x reader#sugar baby reader
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Personally, when I created the writeup I have on my blog giving a brief rundown of my blog in the description it was less of a "don't interact because I don't know how/refuse to use a block button" in the sense described here and more intended as what I originally thought a DNI was supposed to be:
"I don't tolerate actual bigoted behaviour so don't waste your time coming in here thinking we'll be friends only to spring some bigoted bullcrap on me later thinking that was a normal thing to believe/say/do. Don't waste your time and don't waste mine. Here's where I stand on these real life actual problem things so you can just bail if you're not ready to accept that. If you can't critically consume fictional media and don't have anything substantial to say in your critical consumption, I don't have time for you so save your breath and mine and go back to your purity cult. Also if you're under 18 this blog is not for you. I am an adult and don't wish to have minors running around pretending like we're all chill with having kids on a blog with adult-only content actually when I don't kmow you exist or haven't been told in some way that you shouldn't be here despite how clear I've made it that this is an adult-only space. Leave.
And if I find out you're any of these types of people I WILL be curating my internet experience by blocking you."
You know? There are different ways to use DNIs that aren't "fuck you no you put all the effort in to not expose me to you" and are instead intended more like "Hey look interact if you want but I'm warning you that you're wasting your time long term if you think you can be shitty to real life people right in front of my salad, so to save us both the hassle I'm leaving it up to you specifically because I have no idea you exist and can't block you until I do so feel free to take that first step since you know we won't gel and you know I exist while I have not yet had the displeasure."
That said, people definitely shouldn't put real life issues next to fandom preferences and gripes. It defangs serious real world issues by trying to take the fangs off them and slap them directly onto the fictional things to lend credence to them because the person doing it doesn't know how to express their discomfort well enough to feel heard about it/expect people to dismiss anything they say out of hand so they grab whatever closest thing from real world issues already considered serious which could kind of fit if you do a handstand and squint through a cloud of steam. Which has the opposite effect, because now people are (rightfully) angry at them for trivialising real world issues to make people treat their perspective on fictional media seriously.
If you know how to criticise media and/or make sure you know the difference between actually potentially harmful handling of a theme within fictional media vs something made you uncomfortable and you want to express it and feel heard as part of processing it but don't know how, then you probably won't feel as strong of - if any - need to play up what you have a problem with. Because a) you know how to express your position to get people to listen to you, b) don't need strangers on the internet to validate you to know you're right because you're versed in identifying and talking about how to fix this problem in media causing potential harm to a marginalised group or otherwise teaching potentially harmful perspectives and here's why... and c) you know when something is just bothering you personally and probably have some healthier copes for it, like ranting into the void on your own post without using any main fandom tags and/or ranting to your friends and/or writing fix-it fic and or- you get the gist.
The day we start doing more of that is the day this whole 'anti-shipper' and responding 'pro-shipper' thing will probably calm down a little bit.
i don't respect DNIs not in the sense i go out of my way to break them but in the sense that i don't respect DNIs as a concept and consider them to be something of a red flag in general.
i'm not sure how to explain it but it's the combination of usually putting very serious issues on the same level as fandom stuff, the fact that half the time people don't even know what they're against beyond 'the bad stuff' therefore even further watering these issues down, and the idea that other people are expected to manage your online existence for you.
there's a passiveness to it that i think is actually a problem and it does not surprise me in the slightest that people with DNIs tend to view what media they consume as activism. do you get what i'm saying.
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A Dance with The Dragon Prince: An OB!Malleus Thought
There's some book 7 mentions so you've been warned!
Enjoy the little thought piece! đ
From what I can remember, they say that one shouldn't accept a dance with a fae because it could bring about your demise or entrap you in its spell.
Imagine inviting OB!Malleus for a dance but he could see the amount of anger, sadness, and sheer disappointment in your eyes. This should remind you both of all of the happy memories but that fear of never waking up again has tainted your view of him.
Was the man you playfully called Hornton/Tsunotarou a lie? Was everything about him just a ruse? You wished he could be set free but not like this! Not when he could potentially make everyone on Sage's Island die of starvation or thirst or at worst, make them endure 1000 years of never seeing their family and friends again except in a false reality.
You want to wake him up but you're so consumed by your anger towards him that by the time you lead the dance, he knows.
The one friend he's made throughout his school life is disappointed in him. Lilia was one of the people he ABSOLUTELY couldn't lose but same could go with a lot of people here including yourself. Although, Silver's tears was the straw that broke the camel's back, your idea of finding a way to stop the ache of departure was what sparked it! WHY DO YOU WANT TO DESTROY IT?! WHY DO YOU WANT TO BETRAY HIM JUST LIKE SILVER AND SEBEK?!
As Rook would describe it if he were to witness it,
"Such agony, such sweet pain and heartache! The sheer amount of passion they hold! Betrayal has never looked so sweet and heart-wrenching! Quelle beautĂŠ!"
Now personally because I think this dance suits this sort of tension, I would imagine a tango would suit this encounter. You both are trying to study each other's faces, what thoughts are racing through your heads, but the fact that your anger, your disgust, never left your face even as you dance with him, his beloved child of man, his dearest friend has left him at the table, storming out...
Not you... OH GREAT SEVEN NOT YOU TOO! LILIA ABANDONING HIM WAS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH BUT HE CAN'T LOSE YOU TOO! SMILE AT HIM AGAIN LIKE WHAT YOU USED TO! PLEASE SMILE! WHY WON'T YOU SMILE AT HIM?!
By the time the dance ends, you're both heaving but no... You're not smiling at him! This was done not just to protect Lilia but also you and all of the companions you hold so dear! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! WHY WON'T YOU SMILE AT HIM?!
But even then, one thing you had to admit is that he always was enchanting on the dancefloor. Even though he's committing such a selfish act out of pain, your heart aches the more you look at this pitiful prince.
#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst#twst thoughts#diasomnia#malleus draconia#malleus x oc#malleus x reader
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HEAR ME OUT
This request that i have is so cheesy but sounds so good in my mind, forgive me đđŤ
Junho and reader doing like a private first impression thing like u know where the bride and groom are standing back to back and then they turn around. And like Junho is mesmerised has tears is his eyes
Like i literally only have the most cheesy and romantic ideas in my mind i CANNOT help it
Btw love your works đđđđâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸
I did my best, Anon, your message truly made my day. ⼠:D I hope I didn't overdo it, then again, cheese is my livelihood. Sorry for any oddities or spelling mistakes, I'm a bit in the trenches today. :c
It's a bit longer with some wedding dress backstory and getting ready, but I think the good part is there. :3 I hope you enjoy! âĽâĽâĽ
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The Moment I Saw You
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Pairing: Jun-ho x almostwife!fem!reader Summary: And you thought the dress shopping would be hard. The first impression you wished to give your husband-to-be went differently than expected, and you are swimming in a sea of love and bliss. Warnings: Remember that one modded Skyrim playthrough where the player accidentally glitched the cheese-wheel summoning spell and drowned the whole town in cheese? Well, that's what's happening here, but worse. Fluff! Fluff! More fluff! Word count: 2.7k
Everything should have been perfect.
You were picking the dress, and it was taking long. You were standing in the bridal shop, unable to choose, tired, wanting to go home. The person looking back at you in the mirror didnât look like a bride to you. Even though everything was in place, it feltâŚwrong. Fake, somehow. Ill-fitting. The shop assistant was very kind, you thought her patient â but even she could see you were not exactly the glowing bride-to-be she was used to. Nor anything like the shiny photographs littered across the front desk. Â
Your close friend was there with you, trying her best, you could hear her rummaging through the dresses again, muttering â âpuffy sleeves, prom dress, no, no, no, form fittingâŚâ She had the fervour of a very hungry owl searching for that one mouse that got away. âDumbâŚlongâŚshortâŚdear god do people actually wear thisâŚoooh, shinyâŚnoâŚhmmmâŚâ She was already buckling under the weight of all the new ones she picked out for you.
âHey, Y/N, are you sure you donât like this one?â She held up a gorgeous gown, white as snow, silk, smooth, reflecting light with a soft plunge of a neckline, and a revealed back. The skirt fell in a mermaid style, you could look like a gorgeous datura flower at the bottom.
âNo, no, Iâm not sureâŚnotâŚâ You think of yourself in the dress and frown. Your husband to beâŚYour Jun-hoâŚshould he see you like this? He should see the most beautiful version of you on such a day â and yet you felt more like he was going to run away the moment he laid eyes you.
âPlease? How about this one?â Your friend holds up her second choice. The dress is half lace, intricately woven with flowers and soft curling patterns, with off-the-shoulder milky sleeves, a lovely bodice and a small ribbon on the back. The veil would hide more of you, you think. But still. You eye the skirt, its velvety material falling almost straight down. You know youâd be leaving nothing to the imagination and wonder, what if this is all a mistake? What if he made a gigantic mistake, from the very first moment he met you? The first date? The first touch? What if youâve been unknowingly deceiving him, and now heâll see you for what you are, what you look like, inside and out? You canât hide in white.
Your friend walks up to you and gently takes your hand to help you off the platform. She guides you away from the mirrors. As she walks you to the changing room, she is slowly stroking your hand, noticing you are beginning to resemble a vibrating ball of nerves.
âY/N, if you keep frowning like that, Iâm pretty sure youâll have to pay for extra retouching of all the new wrinkles.â She tried to joke but immediately noticed that it was neither the time nor place and changed her demeanour. You sit, feeling the small bench weigh down with you as she does too, and gently hold your stomach as you speak. Youâre unsure which one of you will get the hint first, but youâre pushing it out into the back of your mind as far as you can.
âI justâŚâ You try to speak but the words come out all wrong. âI donât think heâllâŚheâll be so disappointed.â You sigh and trace both hands down your face to calm down and wipe the stress away, but it clings to every molecule of your skin. âJun-ho isnât the type toâŚâ No, all wrong. âItâs not the dresses, itâs me.â Gosh darn it, the tears begin to form. âItâs just me.â
âHey, heyâŚdarlingâŚâ your friend begins stroking the back of your hand as she holds your palm. She is warm and reassuring, but you struggle to believe her.
âItâs ok. Itâs ok to be nervous. But youâre beautiful, no matter the dress. To be honest,â she looks around with added drama, as if feigning trying not to be heard, âI donât think any of the dresses could do you justice and you should just walk out there stark naked if you want them to see how gorgeous you are,â she laughs and squeezes your hand, you look up and let yourself rest with her reassuring, peaceful smile that reaches her lowered eyes now directly resting on you. Although youâre not hugging, you feel held.
Her eyes move to your hand resting on your stomach and you could swear you saw a glint sparkle in their corner and her lashes seem to fall far slower as she blinks, but says nothing. She is so very thoughtful, you think.
âLook, if I know anything about Jun-ho, which isnât muchâ she continues, âthat man is head over heels for you and the moment you said âyesâ I donât think heâs heard any other words of any language since.â
You let out a small chuckle through another tear. She continues, knowing sheâs on a the right path, knuckle punching every guard on the proverbial way.
âI know youâve walked past this shop year after year, before any of this, and I know you loved the dresses for their beauty, their, elegance, their promise. Y/N, you told me yourself, what was itâŚwinterâŚâ
âWinter dresses,â you chime in quietly. Barely a whisper. Breathing in, you try to remember those cold walks.
âI walked past, and I tried to look at the winter dresses when I knew the shop was closed. The ones with those gorgeous, long skirts, heavy velvety fabric where they met the skin, forming an A shape towards the waist.â You didnât tell her that you liked both their protectiveness and the fact that if you decided to dramatically fall into a dark body of water, their puffiness and beauty would truly make the moment worth it. You continued after another less shaky but still reserved breath: âHugged it and up there, the white enveloping the chest â perhaps with lace across the collarbones, but skin hidden, just a touch awayâŚâ you let yourself sink into the memory, far before you met Jun-ho, your husband to be. âWith that veil that resembled a winter cape from a Russian fairytale.â
âThereâs my little Vasilisa,â your friend laughed and stood up. âIâll be right back, no eloping!â
You sat there, hand still resting on your belly, worried, excited, feeling as if youâre living someone elseâs life. Thinking of what Jun-ho must be doing and feeling. Feeling worse and worse, as if you donât deserve this life.
You quickly pull out your phone to check the time and melt. You have no idea how Jun-ho's timing is always so perfect, but only a minute or two ago, the words:
"Hey, sweet [diminutive version of Y/N], are you ok? Sorry, just wanted to check on you. I hope the dresses are treating you well! Tell [friend] to look after my wife!â light up your screen.
Another message lit up immediately after: â*wife-to-be, I just canât stop saying it, sorry! I love you, Y/N.â
The smile that spreads from the corner of your mouth and butterflies that saunter from your stomach almost pushed all the anxiety off a cliff. But it still clung to the edge.
Your friend waltzed in and to your utter disbelief, she held up the perfect dress.
︜âšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸ś
The click of your pearl-white heels was the only thing to be heard across the grass. You focused on their soft step and keeping your balance. Your heart was fluttering out of its chest, your stomach was doing its best to leave the building in excitement, in fear, in anticipation â the train of your dress followed you with a soft sliding murmur and the skirt gently touched each flower on the way. You were so glad he chose to do it this way, away from others. Flowers, a shield of wise oak trees. Bird chatter, a gentle breeze on your flushed cheeks, thatâs all you truly needed. That, and him.
âI want to be the only one to see you, Y/N. The only one to witness the first sight of my wife.â
The sweetheart neckline clung to your collarbones, the off-the-shoulder fabric neatly stacked in on itself was cuddling your back and shoulders, light and nearly translucent. It rested on your skin as a light loverâs touch. The beautiful, laced veil, floating with you as well as behind you was hiding, yet still accentuating your shining hair with small white flowers nestled between locks. It fell periodically across your back and your shoulders, resting on your collarbones with each step. The heavy fabric of the dress which clung to your waist and fell once more felt cool and warm at the same time, giving you an air of ethereal slow motion. You looked like you belonged in a winter forest. A vision of indescribable, untouchable beauty. The wind gently played with your hair, as if longing to caress you as much as the man in front of you.
As you walked, the form of your husband-to-be materialised in front of you, facing the other way. Although there were many other features around, each quite beautiful, you had no eyes for them. Slowly, meticulously, as if not to scare him, you walked up the small hill towards him and lingered behind him. He hasnât seen you, but he knows youâre there â his back is giving away the quickness of his breathing and his attempts to steady it down. Please breathe, my loveâŚâ Your thoughts leave their nerves at bay and soften into nothing but care and love for him. Finally, as lightly as a feather, you rest your back against his, feeling his breath quicken once more and his entire form tense and release, as if wishing to melt into you.
Jun-ho almost hesitates, but slowly, in what is trying to be a level manner, speaks.
âOn the count of three, Y/N?â
You breathe out a tiny chuckle. Ever the pragmatic yet meticulous man.
âOneâŚâ you say almost in unison.
Your breath quickens, your heart is racing ten miles a minute, the dress seems to be tighter and tighter and the birds louder and louder yet so far away.
âTwoâŚâ he says alone and you whisper with him, mind turning to mushy cotton but enveloped in such a warm feeling of bliss.
Jun-ho takes in a last, heavy breath and as he lets it outâŚ
âThree.â
︜âšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸ś
You turn around in unison and both stand frozen in the moment.
Your eyes meet.
Jun-ho stands utterly transfixed, trying to take you in, all of you, in your entirety at once. But his eyes cannot contain you, so he keeps glitching, his hands that he wished to extend to you the moment you turned, are shivering and tense.
His soft gaze tries to dart and look at you from a different side, angle, but he cannot. YouâreâŚyouâre a vision that he cannot and will not disentangle from.
As his eyes are trying to take in every inch of you and warming his heart with every molecule he manages to snatch from the photons reflecting your form, his heart is firmly on its way out of his chest.
You hear nothing but your breath now, youâre looking up into his eyes, inches away from his face, which is frozen and beginning to tear at itself. As if a mask was cracking in nothing but a barrage of indescribable beauty and feeling.
Jun-ho slowly lifts a shivering hand to his mouth and rests it across his face, fingers almost up to his eyes, as if shielding both you and him from the raw, sheer affection that has swept him off his feet â and you, you are both the waves heâs drowning in and the only lifeboat on the sea.
âY/NâŚâ he barely chokes out in a whisper.
âY/NâŚyouâŚyou look...â his hand is joined by his other, slowly laying each palm and finger against themselves under his lips. Jun-ho doesnât know why he cannot control his expression, a wide smile is fighting to be seen, his eyes and heart are tearing at him in springs of bliss and absolute adoration as he wishes to scoop you up to him and melt into you, squeeze you so tight you wonât know where you stop and he begins.
But you areâŚuntouchable as this vision before him. As he steadies himself, he tries to breathe, getting a breath caught in his throat. He finally looks away and you worry, worry your worst fears came true. Worry that the girl sitting in the bridal shop holding her stomach was correct.
But on second look, he isâŚoh goshâŚâ The mixture of worry and unexpected relief, bundled up in nothing but affection and deep care threaten to drive you to both laugh and tear up.
âJun-hoâŚ!â A hushed whisper from your tender lips brings him back to you, turning his head slowly back. He meets your gaze with reserved fear, one eye â look away â second eye â look away â both â remain with you. You see now, with warmth growing in your chest and flutters dancing across your skin, why he was shielding his mouth, then face, then needing to look away entirely. You take both his hands into yours, caressing each finger lovingly as you lower them down to your waist. You envelop his hands, still caressing each knuckle with the ball of your thumb.
âJun-ho, my loveâŚâ you say slowly, levelly, in a low whisper. âMy sweet loveâŚitâs alright.â
Jun-ho cannot help it, the sides of his eyes are fully sparkling now. Your eyes are fully transfixed on his own and guide his gaze into you, and he smiles that wide smile you have grown to love so dearly. Jun-hoâs eyes are now fully glistening like still lakes under a full moon.
âI cannot believe youâre here. I---I---cannot believeâŚitâsâŚyouâŚwith meâŚMyâŚMyâŚâ
Jun-ho cannot speak further but you feel the hands in your tender embrace reciprocate a grip far more secure and loving than you could ever wish for. As protective as it was reassuring. Jun-ho always held you as if you could slip away at any moment, but so tenderly that should you do so, youâd be protected and enveloped in loving warmth to the very end.
âYour wife. My darling. My husband.â Your face softened as you let the words slide across your lips and into the chasm between you, creating the gentlest of bridges.
âMy---wifeâŚâ Jun-ho lets out an untangled breath of relief, the full smile finally taking over his face. Sparkles turning to tears fall at the same moment, as if a weight both descended from and knocked the air out of him in a single moment.
âYouâreâŚyouâre so beautiful. My love. My everything. You areâŚyou are everything.â Heâs still smiling as the small specks run down his cheeks. âI love you, Y/N. I love you. Iâm so glad. So glad. So happy. I donât know how to---can IâŚcan I touch you?â
As the lightly shivering voice in contrast to his imposing, beautiful form reached your ears, you lightly caressed his cheek, and he leaned into your palm immediately.
âOf course, Jun-ho.â
Without a second to spare, he lovingly, gently, as lightly as he could in his given disposition, cupped your face and gave you the longest, most tender of kisses. Slowly his hands trailed to your waist, brushing, as if making sure you werenât going to disappear or turn into a beautiful dream.
Finally, Jun-ho everso carefully took you in fully. Without warning but still tenderly, Jun-ho lifted you up to him, as if you and your dress were as light as the breeze playing with your hair. In one movement he twirled around with you, letting your dress get caught in the moment and carried by motion, his gorgeous wife, his Y/N, nought but his â giggling in his arms, a vision of angelic beauty in his embrace â and he caught himself laughing with you, in nothing but pure bliss. As he let you down just as gently, his touch lingered â he didnât want to let you go for one second.
Squeezing his hand, you nudged your face closer to his, beckoning without words; he covered the remaining distance.
You felt his lips brush against your own â top, then bottom, then both â before resting on yours fully. Tenderly. Reservedly. Lovingly. You placed a soft kiss where they lingered and Jun-ho finally let himself melt into you fully, kissing you as if you harboured the last bastion of oxygen in the depths of the ocean, as if you were the only thing on this Earth that he wanted, needed, yearned and lived for. Â Â Â
︜âšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸ś
#my writing#squid game fanfic#squid game x reader#hwang jun ho x reader#hwang jun ho#hwang junho#jun-ho x reader#jun-ho#fanfiction#fluff#f!reader#squid game x y/n#squid game fluff#jun ho x reader#squid game fic#jun ho#squid game jun ho#hwang jun ho x you#hwang junho x you#junho x reader
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Hiii i love your hyunju headcanons so much!! if possible can you do more of the mommy ones, or more focused on her boobs? Like maybe how she found out she liked it and how it started and stuff like that?
Headcanons: she likes to be your mommyđŤŚ
Featuring: Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f)
Warnings: NSFW, dirty talk, porn mentions, mommy kink.
A/N: More mommy Hun Ju, more!! Thank you for such a wonderful order!!
đŤŚđŤŚđŤŚ
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đŤŚIt all started after she had surgery on her breasts and did it so big that many girls could envy her size.
When Ju began to wear lace bras or tight dresses with shirts (in which she will definitely unbutton a couple of top buttons), you begin to stare at her huge breasts and give compliments.
- I would bury my face into your tits and never come out again. - At first this comment discouraged her, and then she wanted to hear similar phrases from you more and more.
đŤŚLooking at Hyun Ju, you might think she's a pretty shy girl, but she has too depraved scenes with you in her head. She literally became addicted to your words about her tits, as soon as she hears a compliment from you, her dick immediately hardens. She wants to hear more. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. She wants it. She deliberately dresses up for you openly, as long as you look and say what she wants so much.
đŤŚThe last blow for her was when you gave her a blowjob. You trivially wanted to tease her, without thinking about the consequences at all.
- Does mommy like the way I suck her fat dick?
At first, Hyun Ju didn't pay much attention to your nickname out of excitement, but after she scrolled this phrase in her head several more times, she was literally ready to explode. Mommy. Your mommy. She wants to be her.
- God, I'm too dirty a pervert. - she said to herself, after every thought about how you call her mommy.
đŤŚSecretly from you, she started watching lesbian porn, where there were a lot of role-playing games, where the younger girl obeys the older one.
Ju picked up a few wishes for herself from these videos and planned to discuss with you and offer to do the same.
- Baby, I want to confess. I watched porn to gradually learn how to do lesbian sex with you. And I took some ideas from there. I've recently become addicted to your comments about my tits, and when you called me mommy... I'm ready to cum just because of this. - she was very embarrassed that she even stopped saying her opinion.
- No need to be shy, I'm pleased that I give you such emotions. Tell me what you want?
- Call me mommy and during sex..please.. play with my tits. I want you to suck them as my little child. - but after the last sentence, she was even more embarrassed that she was in a hurry to explain herself, thinking that you misunderstood. - I'm sorry that I'm such a pervert!! I just...
- Everything is fine, mommy. I will do anything to give you pleasure.
đŤŚAfter your conversation, you really began to call Ju mommy, almost everywhere and always, except for crowded places, after all, your girlfriend was still shy of such words in public, but at home, in correspondence, you had fun to the fullest.
During sex, you always suck Ju's tit. They are really very soft and amazing, and your bites and drool look very good on it. If your girlfriend could release milk from her breast, you would gladly drink only from her tits.
Now your mommy Ju gets orgasms much faster.
đŤŚđŤŚđŤŚ
#cho hyun ju x reader#cho hyunju#hyun ju squid game#hyunju x reader#hyun ju#player 120 x reader#player 120#squid game#squid game headcanons#squid games x reader#squid game 2#wlw ns/fw#wlw#wlw post
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I Got You
GIF Credit: @fockers-archive
Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: weâre about two months into the new year and they have been the most challenging for me. I wrote this as a way to help make myself feel better and it really did. I hope you all enjoy! And no I didnât proof read.
Warning: mild angst, mental health challenges, but mainly an amazing boyfriend whoâs there for you when you need them most.
Life stresses were the main cause to your emotional turmoil lately. Work had become more stressful, family issues were flaring up, and slowly your mental health was deteriorating. When you were able to be alone, thatâs when you broke down completely. Because breaking down in front of others never felt acceptable.
Today was no different, after coming home from yet another stressor of the day, you found yourself trying to start dinner. The task at hand was suddenly more difficult than usual. While you tried to prepare everything, your mind would not shut off. Thoughts from different aspects of your life clouded your mind causing you to feel overwhelmed.
You accidentally forgot to turn down the heat and the water from the pot overflowed. Cursing at yourself you turned off the stove, but heard a loud clatter from behind. Apparently Alpine thought it was a good idea to jump on the counter and swat everything to the floor.
âAlpine!â You didnât yell at the white fluff ball, but were getting more frustrated by the minute.
As you tried to pick everything up, your phone rang and it was your mother. Acting on impulse you answered and it was a huge mistake. What your mother would classify as âsimple chit chat with your daughterâ was in reality her dumping all her issues onto you.
âMom I know you are going through some stuff but itâs been a really tough day and I need to finish dinnerâ.
You were gentle, but she wasnât. It was another 10 minutes of her back lashing you before you could hang up. There was that tightness in your throat again and that pressure behind your eyes. Even though you were alone, you didnât allow yourself to feel anything. You just couldnât, you needed to be strong.
After taking a deep breath you decided to get a glass of water.
Which turned into the breaking point for you.
After pouring yourself a glass, you were reaching over to grab something when the glass tips over and spills onto the counter.
That was it. Afterwards the tears slowly but gradually began flowing and you sunk to the floor.
You felt as if you could never catch a break and something always has to happen. You felt as if you were suffocating and there was no end to this rut you found yourself in.
With you head in your knees, you felt the touch of cool metal on your arm. Looking up through blurry vision you found a pair of blue eyes staring back at you.
Those eyes that you can stare into for hours. Eyes that make everything else around disappear. And that was the mission of their owners.
Bucky didnât need to say much in the moment. He was concerned as to why his best girl was balling her eyes out on the kitchen floor, but understood at the same time. He admired your self resilience as it was one of the reasons why he fell in love with you. He was aware of the way you kept your head up when things got tough. He loved that you were a natural go-getter and powered through situations all on your own.
But at the same time, he wished you would let him help. Your independence tended to get the best of you at times, and as much as heâs expressed that he was there to help. You were stubborn. Another reason why he loves you.
You didn��t need to explain what happened, he knows. Bucky flashed you a small smile, while he creased your cheek and wiping away the tears that managed to escape. No words were exchanged as he slowly helped you up, and there was no need. For a small moment you looked up to him, those eyes again silently asked what you needed.
You closed the small gap between you and wrapped your arms around his frame. He engulfed you securing you into his embrace. Your head rested perfectly on his broad, solid chest where you could hear the rhythm of his heart. There you two stood for how ever long it took, and you let the tears flow once again.
Bucky never judged you, and thatâs something you loved most about the man who was currently holding you. Because with him you didnât need to be strong all the time. You didnât need to be perfect or put up a force of strength. No, when you are with Bucky you can be vulnerable and feel safe to do so. Because with him you feel all the burdens you face just wash away like the sea retreating from its shore.
Bucky was your sea, his hugs and gestures were the calm, soothing waves bringing you back down to touch the sand. And thatâs something you appreciate more than anything else.
Not too long has passed and you found yourself grounded. He doesnât say anything while he carries you to your shared bedroom where he gently lays you on the cool sheets.
By this time your body and mind are exhausted, but at the same time you find yourself much more relaxed. With a kiss to your forehead and nose, he drapes a blanket over you. And you are whisked away into a deep slumber.
Bucky watches you as he retreats from the room. You were finally resting, and now it was his responsibility to ease your worries as best as he could.
He managed to clean up the kitchen and make your favorite meal. He organized the apartment, feed Alpine, did the laundry and prepared lunch for you to take tomorrow.
When you woke up from that must needed nap and saw all the things Bucky had done, you felt like your heart was going to burst. It was those small acts of service that meant the world to you. And for Bucky, he would do anything to help alleviate your worries, because thatâs what you do when you love someone. Just as he loves you.
After dinner, you found yourself back in Buckyâs arms and him holding you. There were a million things you wanted to say to him, but didnât know where to start.
When you faced each other once again, your mind suddenly slowed down. Leaning in, you allowed your lips to touch his. Bucky didnât hesitate returning the favor, and made sure to tell you all he felt in that moment.
When you two broke away, you found yourself staring once again.
âThank youâ a small whispered escaped from your lips.
He smiled.
âI got youâ.
And you knew he always would.
#sebastian stan#bucky barnes#the winter solider#sebastian stan edit#sebastian stan fanfiction#bucky imagine#bucky fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x reader#bucky fanfic#james bucky buchanan barnes
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injury prompt 16 and 22 for reid perhaps... :D Love your writing btw <3
make my heart beat again / spencer reid
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summary. spencer was sad. spencer was miserable. he thought he could handle it until he couldn't anymore. he thought he could deal with it alone until he couldn't.
words count. 2 249
prompt. âWhy wonât you let me help you?â ââŚbecause I donât deserve it.â / âYou deserve to be helped, Iâwho told you this?â from here
what to expect. very angsty, spencer is so sad i want to hug him, i chose the mentally injured more than physically, mention of murder very quickly
a/n. ok first thank you so much for requesting it sweetie!! and i'm sorry, i wish i posted it sooner but i started it again to make it shorter and...it's not shorter, but it's here and i hope you will love it (and now i can work on your other request) đŤś
F1 masterlist | general masterlist | request
You werenât quite sure how everything started again with Spencer.
One day he was a memory of the past, one of your biggest regrets. The next time he was back in your place, like he always belonged there.
You went on a couple of dates a few years ago, and it would be a lie to say your heart didnât fall for that boy. Sweet, gentle, the nicest man youâve ever met. And so beautiful with his always so messy hair, his gorgeous brown eyes that always seemed to look at you like you were one of the seven wonders of the world, and that perfectly shaped mouth that you loved to kiss.
You were sure things could have worked out with Spencer if a) his work didnât take him that much timeâand more. b) You didnât have other issues in your life you had to deal with before thinking about love.
So you ended your relationship, or whatever it was at that time, before it could be more serious. And you spent way too many nights missing Spencer Reid.Â
The way he would start every date with a fact that could either last a minute or ten and how you could notice the change in his eyes when he noticed you were truly interested in what he was saying. How he was blushing at any physical contact you were initiating, even in bed after he made love to you. Or even how you never said you loved each other, yet the way his lips would stay longer on your shoulder when you were falling asleep was speaking for your feelings.
You never thought Spencer would miss you just as much.
But he spent months contemplating the idea of seeing you again and trying to convince you this could be good. That he could be good for you. But months turned into a year. And when he celebrated his whole single year on the other side of the country, Spencer read into it that maybe he had glorified love. In all its aspects.
And this conclusion haunted him for years.
To the point Spencer stopped meeting new people and was barely trying to stay in touch with those in his life. He wasnât seeing his mom much; his colleagues noticed the distance he was building between them, and Spencer couldnât remember the last time he saw his âfriends.â
Because at some point, the fear of losing people turned into a feeling of not being good enough to peopleâs lives and made him a loner. A sad loner.
That was something you immediately noticed the first time you saw Spencer in years.
Your life has barely changed from your last date. Still the same job, but at a higher place. Still the same apartment, but with a different setting. Still the same person, but more mature.
It wasnât hard for Spencer to find you. And if he spent a whole year contemplating going back to your place before putting that thought away, the day he truly needed it, it took him a minute to decide it was time.
You didnât question his presence here when you opened the door. Maybe he should have. But when Spencer grabbed your face after you simply said his name with confusion, nothing seemed to matter.Â
Not his hair longer than before, not him looking more shaped yet more fragile, not the circle under his eyes being way darker than the last time you saw him. Not that he was eagerly kissing you, something he never did.
You remember Spencer being gentle, taking his time to appreciate every second with you.
No, he was hungry, like each second could be the last with you. For him.
âWhat are you doing here, Spence?â you finally asked him. You were both lying on the rug in your living room. His eyes were locked on the roof, like he was disconnecting from reality. His arm around your back, holding you against him, was brushing your skin slowly, but he seemed to do that mindlessly.Â
And Spencer didnât turn his head to look at you when you, you couldnât stop looking at him. âI needed that.â Not you. You put away the pain hearing that and tried to see the good in this, that you were the one he went to.Â
But still, something was different with Spencer.
It would take you a few nights to realize he wasnât blushing anymore when you touched him. Or that he didnât seem to have a lot to talk about.
Actually, Spencer wasnât talking much anymore.Â
For weeks, Spencer would come to your place at night. Either after a day at the office or when he came back from a case. Usually, when it was the latter, he would even stay the following day to fully decompress from what happened.
You tried to question him once or twice. But Spencer always had the same answer: going down on you to keep you quiet with your question.
It was a win-win situation.Â
He was giving you pleasure and making you think about something else.
He was concentrating on something else, and your moans were filling his head with other thoughts.
Until one night, the sex wasnât enough to put his problem away.
You didnât expect Spencer to come. Two days ago, he told you he had to leave for a case and it would probably last a week. Nothing out of the ordinary. But it gave you the time to think about him and where this was going.
Yet, your bell rang at 10 p.m. Letâs say that dating an FBI agent taught you to not open your door to anybody. You almost played dead and ignored it. But your gut told you to look at who it might be.Â
You didnât expect to see Spencer through your spyhole.
You certainly didnât expect to see him cry on the other side of your door.
âSpencer, whatâs going on?â you said, opening your door and immediately bringing him inside. The saddest part was that he let you do it. He didnât stop you when you took him in your arms. Neither when you brought him to the sofa and sat him on it while you kneeled in front of him.
He was shaking; his face looked red from the tears and the scratching he did with his fingers, trying to take the pain away. But it didnât work. And hurt him even more.
You grabbed one of his hands to take it away from his face. You tried to ease his joints with a soft caress. You even tried to make eye contact, but it was a lost cause with the way he was closing his eyes hardly, probably hurting himself like that. âTalk to me, Spence,â you whispered, putting your chin on his knee. âOpen to me.â
You hated how he pinched his lips together before talking, like he was trying so hard to not break down. âI canât,â he sobbed. He repeated that multiple times, sounding more angry with himself each time.
But the fact he wasnât letting go of your hand made you believe that maybe a part of him, maybe just a very little one, wanted to have you. He still came to you tonight, right?
âWhy wonât you let me help you?âÂ
This was a genuine question. One that grew over the last weeks. Sometimes, you would wake up in the middle of the night wondering which signs you might have missed when he was here. What did he try to hide from you with kisses and attention that you werenât asking for? And if maybe you werenât an accomplice of his troubles by accepting all his treats, knowing it was an excuse to keep everything from himself.
And during these moments, you imagined what Spencer might have answered. That he didnât want his burden to impact your relationship, that he didnât want to talk to you specifically.Â
But you never considered what was coming as an answer.
ââŚbecause I donât deserve it.âÂ
The world went silent.Â
Except for your heart that just fell on the floor and broke into a million pieces.
Except for Spencerâs sorrow being louder than ever in your small living room.
It was obvious that Spencer wasnât doing ok. But you couldnât imagine how broken he really was.
You couldnât force him to look at you and make him see he wasnât alone at all. So you put your forehead against his, his sweaty hair sticking against your skin. Your arms wrapped against Spencer so you could hold him against him. You couldnât believe that this grown-up man, in his thirty, could be a broken kid inside. You tried to hold back the tears.
You stayed like that for minutes; you donât even know how long. This could last an hour or two if he needed to. You probably could have stayed all night if it meant calming Spencer down.
Little by little, you felt his shaking stop and even one of his hands land on your arm. The pressure of his fingers on your skin wasnât harder, almost like he didnât have any strength anymore. It was more like a delicate touch. One that reminded you of the old days, when Spencer was too shy to touch you.
Once you felt he was ready to hear this, maybe not listen yet but at least be able to understand what you were saying, you stopped hugging him so you could grab his face in your hands. âYou deserve to be helped. Iâwho told you this?â
You met the saddest eyes youâve ever seen at this moment. Couple with his sad smile. Oh, how you wished you could just kiss the pain away for once.
âI justâŚâ he started, with a grazed, hoarse voice. âEvery person in my life ends up sad or hurt or dead. Iâm a problem. Iâm a burden. I donât deserve someone to take the time to help me, be there for me. I canât risk someone, you, taking the time to make me feel better if it means losing you at some point. I canât, I canât do that again.â You heard the sob in his voice at the end.Â
You opened your mouth to speak, but Spencer gave you the look, one he strangely never gave to you but that you understood immediately, meaning that he still had a lot to say. And deep down, you were happy to shut it if it meant he was finally opening up.
âI was taking care of a kid these days. We knew he might be in danger, so I was supposed to make sure he would be fine while working the case.â Spencer took a moment to continue, but you could only focus on the tear running down his cheek. âHe got killed. Because I couldnât protect him. Everyone around me has something bad happening to them. Even in my job. How can I be such a bad person?âÂ
You started brushing away the tears with your thumb, but Spencer cuddled against your hand. There was something even sadder with this man feeling like he didnât deserve to have someone yet still craving every attention he could get.
âYouâre not a burden, Spencer,â you whispered, and he closed his eyes again. âI canât imagine how hard it must be for you to go through all these moments by yourself. I canât imagine how hurt you must be from living such difficult times over and over again. But that doesnât mean you donât deserve to have someone by your side.â
He didnât answer. You werenât sure this was the best decision, but you sat on his knees, trying to be closer to him so you could make him feel less alone.Â
You thought that if he didnât want that, he would push you away. But the way Spencer's hands ended up on your back so quickly made you think that maybe he needed that too.
âI canât and wonât force myself into your life, Spencer, never,â you said, brushing his hair away from his face. âBut if youâre ready to try, I can be by your side and help you consider that you deserve to be a supporter. Not only by me but by all the people that love you.â
Again, your words working on him, Spencer opened his eyes slowly. This time, even if the sorrow was still present, there was the smallest and almost slightest light in them. âBecause people love you, Spencer Reid.â
As an answer, the only one he could give you, Spencer brought you against him and hugged you as hard as he could. It wasnât the tightest hug he ever gave, but it was the best he could do. And it was enough. Enough to know that you opened a door in his mind.Â
You offered your bed to Spencer that night, but he insisted on you staying by your side. He refused to let you know it was due to the fear of the nightmares he had for months now. Nightmares that always had different stories but ended the same way: with him losing someone and being alone.
All he needed was you, and you were willing to give yourself entirely to help him get better.
You didnât know if you imagined it, but you were sure that when he was falling asleep, holding you against him like an antistress comforter, Spencer thanked you.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid angst#Matthew Gray Gubler#Matthew gray gubler imagine#matthew gray gubler x reader#Matthew gray gubler x you#Matthew gray gubler x fem!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds story#msg#mgg x reader#my writing
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ă ⌠BOYFRIEND OF YOURS? ⌠ă
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summary: chris keeps his promise to your dad and visits the office, and chris notices the little nerd who is utterly in love with you.
cw: name calling(?), jealousy
word count: 2.7k
masterlist | WFYL masterlist | more WFYL | join my taglist
PART TWO
it was 10:29am and you stood in front of the high ceiling windows of your office and just watched the city and everyone going about their day. you saw a mom and her two kids enter the indoor play place that wasn't too far from the office building, a few random teenagers skipping school, something you wish you would've done, many people walking their dogs. it was funny just how many dogs ran into each other and stared at one another, or just barked.
you were having a bit of trouble trying to understand the plot to the a new movie that was in the talks. you had many jobs here, you went to meetings to discuss new movie and show ideas, you helped with editing, you even went to a few shootings to supervise, and the most important of them all was having the final say in approving a movie or show.
the guy, peter ray, who pitched the idea sure that the movie would be a number one hit in theaters and across the nation, but you just didn't understand it. he wanted the movie to end on a cliffhanger and not have an actual ending. but you didn't like the idea of that.
not at all.
why make a movie and leave it on a cliffhanger with no part two to it? you knew that it would get bad reviews and not do well due to the word that will be surfacing around social media. it's a no. either he comes up with a good ending, or it's a no.
you turned around from the window and made your way to your desk. picking up the phone you rang your assistant. âhello ms. y/n. everything okay?â you hated when people called you ms.celestine, you preferred your name. âhi, franny. everything is fine. is there anyway you can contact mr.ray and have him come down here? a meeting is needed.â
you heard some shuffling in the background and the sound of a printer beeping. âyeah, of course. i'll get to it right away.â she chirped, franny was always in a good mood even if it was a shit day and you had lost your patience and accidentally lashed at her. but you always apologized right away.
âthank you.â you said before cutting the call. you sighed, leaning against the backrest of your office chair. your phone that was set faced down on your desk buzzed
franny
mr.ray has agreed to come to the office. your meeting is at 11:30. anyone else's rather than mr.ray and his team i should contact ghat should attend the meeting?
you
no, no one else. thank you franny!
your father was tucked away in his office on the top floor, the very top floor. the last you heard from him was that he was doing some last minute deals and arrangements to set you up in the near future when you become ceo. even with the many, many times you told him you could handle it when the time came, he wouldn't budge.
deep into thought, there was a soft knock on your door. who could it be? you thought. âcome in.â you mumbled, straightening your posture. as the door opened, you were met with oliver, an intern who was only two years younger than you, he had a shy smile on his face and gently closed the door behind him, pushing his glasses up his nose.
âsorry if i interrupted anything.â he blushed, he always did when he talked to you, or even looked at you. there was this one incident where you were trying to pass by and placed your hand on his bicep, the poor boy nearly creamed his pants. âyou didn't, glad you took me out of my thoughts, though.â you chuckled, clearing your throat right after.
âwhat is it that yâneed?â you asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before signing a form. âi was wondering if you'd-â a knock interrupted his sentence. âsorry, just a minute.â you told him. âcome in!â you said out loud to the person who knocked.
franny walked in. âhey, i just came to drop these off. i-â she put a stack of papers on the corner of your desk, she then saw oliver and cut her sentence short. âoliver, is it okay if you step out for a minute? i have to talk to ms.y/n alone.â she gave him a lip tight smile.
oliver frowned and blushed. âoh- yeah, sure. i'll just talk to you l- later.â he scurried out.
âmay i?â franny pointed to the chair in front of your desk. âgo ahead.â you nodded. âso, mr.ray just called me back and he was kinda⌠mad. he really wants you to approve his idea, but i'm with you. a movie ending on a cliffhanger with no second part is kind of pointlessâto me, that is.â
you sighed, you knew he'd have a hard time accepting the fact that you were on the verge on rejecting his idea. âi knew he'd be pissed. and yeah, a movie with no ending is fucking pointless. it's either he comes up with an actual ending to the movie or i'm going to have to say no. and he's grateful that i'm still giving him a chance. if it were my father, he'd shut the idea right down the minute he knew the idea for the end.â
franny nodded as you spoke. you and her had a great relationship. on days she wasn't needed in the office or random weekends, you two would go out for brunch or a coffee run and talk like friends. just like you and your dad, you separated your outside friendship and work relationship. in all honesty, she was like the sister you never had.
âi'm ready for this week to be over. want to hang out at my place saturday night? i could really use a gossip night.â you cracked a smile. âim there. i'll bring our favorite.â there was this one pizza place near your condo and if you could, you would eat it everyday for the rest of your life. âdeal, i'll get the wine.â
you two chatted for a while more until franny had to go and take care of something. âgood luck with peter, y/n.â she said before she left your office.
it had been a few weeks since he had last seen you. him and your father have exchanged a couple of emails here and there and eventually set up a date to where chris would visit the office.
and that was today.
he stood in his bedroom, fixing the collar that stool out from beneath his prada sweater. chris was excited to see you again even if he tried to avoid the thought of you for several reasons.
the night after the party, he thought about you in that dress all night. a little too much. you were definitely something.
he got into his car and began to drive to the office.
when chris arrived at the parking garage entrance, the garage door opened automatically and was met with a parking garage he had never seen before. the wall were a bright white, the floor wasn't the usual concrete floor, it was a sleek black one that the light reflected off of.
there was a booth up the makeshift hill with a man in a black suit. chris stopped the car and rolled his window down, lowing the music. âgood morning, sir. you must beââ he took a look at a paper that was stuck to his laptop. â- chris sturniolo.â chris nodded. âthat would be me, yes.â
âgood, there's been a parking spot reserved for you. number three. it's just straight ahead near the elevators, and two cars that are hard to miss.â his arm directed into the direction of the spot. âthank you.â chris responded, slowly driving away.
it was true, the two cars parked in spots one and two were hard to miss. parked in spot one was an all black rolls royce, and parked next to chris, in spot two, was a white range rover. he turned into spot one, the only spot left. chrisâ guess was that spot one and two were reserved specifically for you and your dad, but that was just a guess.
locking his car, he headed to the all glass elevator and pressed the up arrow. waiting a couple of seconds, the elevator dinged and the doors opened. inside, the small space was filled with classical music and shiny numbered buttons.
he pressed one.
as the doors opened back up again, he was met with a beautiful lobby. it was filled with natural light and beautiful structures. âgood morning.â the lady at the front desk said. âhello, i'm here to meet with mr.celestine. i'm chris sturniolo.â he rested an elbow on the counter. âahh, yes. i'll be right with you, mr.sturniolo.â she smiled, picking up the phone near her desk.
as she waited for her call to be answered, chris looked around the lobby and noticed that the tvs were playing their newest movie, violet, a thriller movie. he had watched it and thought it was an incredible movie. the actors, some of which also worked with his company for pr, were incredible.
âhey, it's pam from the front desk. mr.sturniolo has just arrived at the lobby. could you please take him to mr.celestines office?... thank you.â she returned the phone to its original spot. âalright, i have someone coming down to take you up to mr.celestines office. feel free to take a seat or have something from the snack bar.â she pointed over to a small room across the desk.
âthank you.â chris nodded, making a beeline towards the room. the room was quite big, almost like a mini kitchen. there were various vending machinesâfree vending machines, a see through fridge with various foods and snacks, and a table with even more snacks.
chris grabbed a bottle of water and scoped out the table of snack, he picked up a pack of skittles and put them in his back pocket. walking out of the room, he smiled at the lady sitting at the desk and made his way to one of the couches.
he waited a couple of minutes, finishing his water and candy. someone finally came to get him. âmr.sturniolo?â chris hears someone call out for him and he turns around.
âthat's me.â he gets up. âgreat, i'm oliver. iâll be taking you to mr.celestines office. follow me.â chris nods and follows behind him. in the elevator, chris speaks up. âso, how long have you been working here?â he looks over at the boy pushing his glasses up his nose.
âoh, i'm an intern. i've been here for almost a month.â the elevator door opens back up. âright this way.â oliver steps out first and points his arm to the right down the hall.
as they walk through the hallway, chris notices the many movie posters along the walls and various news headlines about celestine studios. movie of the year, #1 high grossing movie, celestine studios makes history winning all 6 nominations in one night, highest ranked movie, celestine studios has the most perfect scores on rotten tomatoes, and there were many more.
âimpressive.â chris mumbles to himself, continuing to follow oliver. âhere we are.â oliver announces as they stop in front of. door at the end of the hall. plastered on the wall is a golden sign that says âMR. CELESTINE: CEOâ.
oliver picks his fist up and knocks on the door. they wait a few seconds before a voice is heard from behind the door. âcome on in.â oliver opens the door and lets chris walk in first. âmr. celestine, mr. sturniolo is here.â your dad looks up from his laptop and claps his hands. âwonderful! thanks you, oliver. you're dismissed. chris- have a seat.â
oliver closes the door behind him and leaves. chris walks up to your dads desk and shakes his hand. âmr.celestine, it's nice to see you again.â he sits. ânice to see you too. so, what do you think of my building so far?â
âit's wonderful, really.â chris nods.
the two talk for a while, asking each other questions. âlet's go visit my daughter, shall we.â you dad say, starting to get up from his chair. âsure.â chris hides his excitement at the mention of you. the two make their way down to the floor you're on.
âgood afternoon, mr.celestine.â franny spots your dad and chris. âgood afternoon, franny. this is mr. chris sturniolo.â your dad points to chris standing next to him. the two greet each other with a smile. âwhere is my daughter, we'd like to talk with her.â
âoh, she's in the fifth conference room. but, she's currently in a meeting with mr.ra-â he cuts her off. âthank you, franny.â they two walk away. as they approached conference room five, mr.celestine doesn't bother to knock and barges right in.
ââi'm sorry peter, i've given you options but you're not cooperating with me.â you look up and spot both your dad and chris. chris had never seen this side of you, obviously, in a business setting. âdad? excuse me for one second.â you excuse yourself, standing up to walk up towards the both of them.
chris looks over at the man sitting at the other end of the table who looks frustrated. âwhat's up⌠im kind of in a meeting.â chris could tell that you were frustrated as well. âhon, chris is here. remember at the party the other night? âsaid he was going to stop by.â you didn't remember. âoh- yeah. how could i forget.â
âjust finish this up and meet us for lunch.â your dad patted your shoulder before turning around. âcâmon chris, let me show you some set mock ups.â
you went back to your meeting. âso, are you going to consider my options?â
finishing up the meeting that went well for you and not so well for peter ray, you were making your way to your office to wind down for a bit after that meeting. as you stepped out of the conference room, oliver spotted you. making his way over to you, chris got to you first .
âhey, doll.â he smirked. âhi, chris. nice to see you again.â oliver stopped a few feet behind the two of you, and chris spotted him, looking back into your eyes. âmeeting went well?â he crossed his arms. âso-so.â you nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
âhow's lunch sound- just me ând you? your dad had a last minute meeting. told me to hang with you, said you fun to be around.â oliver, just a few feet away from you two, was red in the face with fists by his side and storms off. âboyfriend of yours?â he nods at oliver who stomps to his mini office. âwho?â
âglasses over there. looked like he wanted to kill me for talking tâyou.â he chuckles. âoliver? no, not my boyfriend. he's a sweet kid though.â you had noticed here and there the lingering looks he gave you as you walked by him, or the fact that he did anything you told him to. you could ask him to step on a million thumbtacks and he'd do it.
âmm.â he nods, rolling his lips inside. âso, lunch?â he asked again. âuh- yeah. sure, let me just put this in my office.â you refer to your laptop and notebook in your arms. âof course. i'll come with.â he followed behind you. as the two of you walked by oliver, he sent him a petty wink.
âso, this is your office?â he says as you two enter the room. âyup, like it?â you ask smiling as you place down the items on your desk. you round the corner to grab your phone from the drawer. âyeah, sânice.â he nods looking around before putting his eyes back on you and noticing that you're reaching for your wallet. âah- ah. lunch is on me. leave that here.â
âyou sure?â you look at him, opening the drawer to put your wallet in there. âi'm sure.â he confirms. âcâmon, i made reservations ahead of time. you like sushi?â chris asks, his hand hovering over the small of your back as you two walked out of your office. âlove it.â you giggle.
chris turned his head and saw oliver glaring at him once more. chris only shrugged at him and waved to him.
he's going to be seeing chris a lot from now on.
âď¸ . . . ⢠ËËË authors note ŕżŕž
boring chapter :/ i promise we're getting closer to the juicinessđ
#ŕ¨âŻ wait for your love âŻŕ§#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#chris x y/n#chris x reader#christopher sturniolo series#christopher sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo fluff#christopher sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo blurb#chris sturniolo headcanon#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt x y/n#matt x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo blurb#matt sturniolo fanfic
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kiss it off me - jameson hawthorne x reader
a/n: hold me.. console me.. then ill leave without a trace... woah i haven't posted a fic in a hot minute!!! this idea has been brewing in my mind since like october... may become a series, who knows!! anyway, i hope you enjoy đ wc: 5k synopsis: you and your long time best friend, jameson, meet up on a stranded beach to escape for a little while. who cares about anything else when the person you love looks hurt? warnings: tobias is alive in this, best friends who r inlove, what else is new?
Your leg bounced up and down in front of you as you waited, sitting on a bench overlooking the beach.
You came early so youâd have some alone time, time to think, but you quickly realised that was the worst idea ever, because you didnât want to think.
You wanted to shut your mind off, you wanted to just be, and most of all, you just wanted to see Jameson.
So, there you sat, an hour earlier than the time you had agreed on with Jameson, wishing you had something to do other than sit and wonder and rattle your brain with thoughts.Â
Youâd been doing more than enough overthinking this winter.
The beach was a pretty sight, the sun starting to set, painting the sky shades of orange and pink, clouds looking like oversized strings of cotton candy in the sky.Â
You let out a frustrated sigh of boredom, got up from the bench, and walked over to the sand. You looked around on the isolated beachâyou were the only one here.Â
Your family owned this strip of the beach, so you werenât surprised that it was empty.
It had quickly become one of you and Jamesonâs favourite hideout places. Not that you were particularly hiding from anything; it was more so just an escape from everything and everyone else.Â
On that beach, nothing existed but you and Jameson, with the sand, the sky, and the sea.
You walked over to the blanket you always kept on the beach, folded and placed underneath a rock about twice the size of your fist to keep it from blowing away.Â
You unfolded it, sat down, and entertained yourself by putting some breathing exercises into practice. Your therapist had given them to you months ago, but if you were being quite honest, you didnât think of using them a single time after you left that room.
You werenât even anxious; you were simply bored. You wished you had your headphones with you, or something to keep you company.Â
The sun was setting even further; you stared out onto the beach in front of you and wished Jameson was seeing the sunset with you. Your favourites were the ones that had hints of pink and purples in them, while he liked the ones that âwere golden and painted everything else golden too.â
He would love this one.
You then looked at your watch, which was a huge mistake. Whenever you thought about the time or checked it, it only seemed to pass infinitely slower.
Only 10 minutes had passed since you last checked. Another deep breath, and you exhaled it all as you held your head in your hands.
You brought your knees up to your chest and then hugged your arms around them. Your hoodie kept you warm, and so did the layers you had on underneath, but you still felt a weird shiver in your bones. You made a conscious effort to not check the time, then looked up.Â
You turned your head left, seeing nothing but the beach, then right, and saw a figure far away, walking in your direction.Â
The walk, the clothes, and the way this person began jogging once they spotted youâit all told you it was Jameson.Â
You couldnât help the smile that stretched on your face. You brought your arm up, waving wildly at him. He was closer now, and you could see the own grin on his face as he sent you a chin nod and waved back.Â
You looked back at your legs as he finally approached the blanket you sat on. âHey, you.ââ He breathed out, standing over you for a second and grinning, only a little out of breath after running 100 metres or so, just to get to you.
With a smile, you brought your gaze up to him, ââHey there yourself,ââ you laughed through your sentence at the stupidity of the greeting.
âPretty sunset, isnât it?â He said
Just like how you had expected. âYeah,â you nodded in appreciation of the sky, âItâs pretty.â
He suddenly tilted his head slightly. âYouâre early,â he pointed out, and then with a furrow of his brow, he said, âHow long have you been here?â
You ignored the last part of his question. You glanced at your watch before answering, âTechnically, youâre also early. ââ
âTechnically, I donât care.âÂ
âOkay, still. Why are you early?â You insisted. If you were being honest, you were insanely thankful that he was here right now, and didnât arrive an hour later like youâd originally planned.
You had absolutely no clue what youâd do for an hour, which seemed to stretch on forever when you were alone.
He was silent for a moment, then sighed as he finally sat down, leaning back with his legs outstretched, looking at you. ââI know you; I know youâd be early.ââ
You quirked a brow up, despite the way your stomach erupted with butterflies. I know you.Â
ââOkayâŚ?ââ You forced a chuckle, tearing your gaze away from Jameson and telling those butterflies in your stomach to respectfully leave and never come back. ââWhat does that have to do with you being early?ââ
Jameson shrugged like it was obvious, looking at the sea when you finally looked at him again. ââI just wanted to spend more time with you.ââ
The butterflies did not leave and never come back.Â
You wished they wouldâve, because Jameson was your friend. Your best friend, though you felt that friend wasnât even a good enough term to describe what you were.Â
Youâd known each other since you were kids, been there for each other when your family wasnât, and seen each other through just about every embarrassing phase there is. You often times felt as if you knew each other better than you knew yourselves.Â
Friend didnât cover it.Â
But whatever he was, whatever your friendship wasâit didnât include romantic feelings.Â
Again, you wished those millions of butterflies to go find someone else to torment.
âThe real reason?â You prodded, raising a brow at him.Â
ââThat is the real reason.ââ He protested, gasping in mock offence. ââAlthough, I wouldnât be lying if I said that one of Xanderâs started making a weird buzzing noise⌠And, well⌠Getting out of the house was the safest option."
You felt a little twang of disappointment, then you felt annoyed that you were feeling disappointed. âSince when did you care about safety?â
Jameson shot you a look. âSince I donât want my eyebrows burnt off.â He deadpanned.
âOkay, fair.â You rolled your eyes with a slight laugh. "Well. Iâm glad youâre here.ââ You said a little quieter. âWith both of your eyebrows intact.â
âIâm glad Iâm here too.â His eyes glinted with a smile, âWith⌠both of my eyebrows intact.â
You were both silent for a second, holding back laughs as you looked at each other, until Jameson let out a snortâ and you both started laughing.
You covered your face with your hands, shaking your head as you tried to control your giggles.Â
God, could you get any more awkward? This was why you hated the idea of having feelings for him, because then you started to act different and make things awkward by saying things like Iâm glad youâre here with both of your eyebrows intact.
You were a goner.
Your laughter died out, then you started talking about your respective daysâthe things that set you off, the things you waited to tell each other in person, overall, about nothing and everything.
After a moment of silence, you looked over at him, noticing a strange look on his face as he stared out at the horizon. There was a deep crease in his dark brows, his expression almost grim. You scooted a little closer to him.
âWhatâs up with you?â You nudged his shoulder gently. âYou have that weird⌠furrow in your brow.âÂ
âNothing's up with me.â He turned to look at you, offering one of those dangerously distracting Jameson Winchester Hawthorne grins for a moment.
But it didnât work. It looked off and strained. âWhatâs up with you?â
âDeflecting and a weird look?â You raised your brow incredulously. â We hang out too much for that lie to work on me.âÂ
He sighed dramatically, looking forward. The sky was shades of dark pink and orange now, the sun bouncing off the clouds and colouring them.Â
Jameson looked at you once again, his green eyes looked extra inviting with the pink sky around him, like a dangerous sea you could get lost in, possibly never find your way out of, but one you almost wanted to get lost in nonetheless.
His eyes flickered over you, and you got the feeling he was trying to read your expression. âItâs times like these I wish you didnât care about me." He said so casually, "Then I wouldnât have to face my emotions.âÂ
The way he said itâwithout realising, he made it sound like there were other emotions, not just whichever ones he was dealing with right now.Â
âOh, donât worry.â You responded jokingly, rolling your eyes the slightest bit. âI donât care about you. Not in the slightest.âÂ
Jamesonâs smile seemed a little less strained at that. âWonderful.â
âTruly.â
âAgreed.âÂ
You let the silence stretch for a moment, seeing if heâd say anything else.
He didnât.
If this were anyone else, youâd stay quiet.
But this was Jameson; your friendship meant more to you than the fear of being seen as annoying or pushy. Besides, you quickly learnt that Jameson wouldnât talk unless he had that push, even if he did really want to.
âOkay, enough of these one-word answers.â You sighed, trying to mask the pure concern you felt with a light chuckle. âWhat the hell is wrong?âÂ
Jameson chuckled humourlessly, propping himself back up on his hands again. âYou know how it is,â he said, âthe usual.âÂ
âThe usual as in the old man?â You deadpanned, âOr the usual as in you did something reckless to shut your brain off?â There was no point in beating around the bush, especially when you both knew each other more than anyone else in your life.Â
Jameson didnât meet your eyes. He shrugged casually, âThe usual as in both.âÂ
Your heart tore a little at his words. You wondered if he was lying about one of Xanderâs machines exploding. Then you thought about it; you knew Xander, and knew he often resorted to his robotics room when he felt hurt.
It was highly probable that Jameson wasn't lying. He just wasn't telling the full truth.
It was a Saturday. What could the old man have said that managed to ruin his grandsons like this?
You hated how Tobias could reduce your best friend to a mess of feelings and emotionsâto a boy who felt like he wasnât good enough and would never beâwith just a few disapproving words.
Nobody should have that amount of power. Ever.Â
You pressed your lips together for a moment. âI donât like your grandpa. Not one bit.â
âThat's funny.â That dry, sad chuckle of Jamesonâs was killing you. He ran a hand through his hair. Roughly. âHe rather likes you. Says youâre a bright girl, a good influence for me.â
âI told you, Jameson,â your voice came out softer than you intended, âI donât care about anything he has to say.âÂ
He called Jameson ordinary.Â
Jameson felt like he was betraying Tobias for simply telling you what he said.
That was the moment you lost respect for the man.
âEverything he says is bullshit. If you donât want to talk about it, I get that.â You paused for a second, watching his expression and waiting for him to meet your eyes.Â
The second he did, you almost wished he didnât, because the look of sheer hurt in his eyes almost made you lose your breath.Â
âBut JamieâŚâ You couldnât hide the worry on your face anymore. âPlease know whatever he says isnât worth anything. If youâre going to trust me on one thing, let it be that.â
Jameson was silent for a moment, looking down at the sand. His voice came out hoarse, then he finally met your eyes. âI trust you with everything.âÂ
You managed a little smile because you had a feeling that if you didnât, you wouldâve probably teared up instead. âYou still wishing I didnât care about you?â
Jameson shut his eyes for a moment, chuckling. âGod, no.â He admitted. âI donât even know what Iâd do without you.â
He said the last part so simply, so matter-of-factly, you almost didnât catch it until you realised what he said.
âIf itâs any consolation,â you started, a slow smile dragging on your lips, âI trust you with everything, too.â
Jameson went still for a moment, something shifting in his expression.
He masked it so quick you mightâve missed it if you werenât watching him so closely.
Then his grin slowly returned. âSome would say thatâs a dangerous choice.â His voice was playful, but his eyes told a different story.
âI donât mind dangerous.â You shrugged.
Now his eyes turned teasing. âYou probably should.â
You rolled your eyes at the irony, but you still couldnât even manage a small laugh because of the moments prior. âLook whoâs talking, Jamie.â
âHey, I do mind it sometimes,â He raised his hands up in mock surrender. âYes, I like playing dangerous; Iâm simply saying... I donât like playing it dangerous when it comes to us.â
Us. He said that like it was something important to him.
âYeah.â You tried not to overthink what he just said. He didnât want to play it dangerous, as in he cared about your friendship so much? Or was he trying to say he didnât want to take it any further than friends? And let you down slowly? Or was he saying the opposite, that he was scared to?
Your eyes flickered over his face as your thoughts ran, finally focusing on his eyes. âGood. Weâre keeping us safe.â
He ran a hand through his hair, smiling at you. âGood.â He echoed.
After that, neither of you said anything else for a minute, which you didnât mind. You fell into a comfortable silence as you so often did. It was never awkward with him, there was never a need to fill the silence. You could just be there with each other and exist.
That was what you loved. In both of your lives, there was always way too much pressure on who you had to be, the way you had to act.
But there was no pressure when it was just you two.
You stared out at the beach in front of you, quickly entranced at the way the waves met the shore, the way nature seemed like the only constant when everything else was hectic in your life.
Well, nature, and you and Jameson.
ââItâs freezing, câmere.ââ His voice shook you out of your trance-like state. He didnât have a grin on his face like youâd expected when you looked over at him, but more so a look of concern.
He opened his arms out for you, and you let out a little laugh as you scooted closer, leaning into his chest.
Your arms wrapped around his torso, head on his chest. âIt is freezing.â You paused, âOh God, I feel my teeth clattering.ââ
âYeah? I can hear it.â Jameson laughed, slowly lowered the both of you down onto the blanket, then his arm began running up and down your arm, the other bringing you even closer in attempts to make you feel less cold.
You lay in each otherâs arms, your head on his chest as you looked up at the sky above you.Â
You stayed like that for a while, simply talking.
Every time he laughed, you felt his laughter, and you thought, surely thereâs no other better feeling, his laughter vibrating through your body.
Feeling it warm your heart like it was your own happiness doing the job.
The sun quickly set, and the stars were on full display. You specifically loved this beach, because it was so far away from all the city lights that put those stars to death. You could see everything when it finally got dark.
You lay in his arms while you spotted constellations, and laughed while arguing with Jameson over which one was which.Â
âIâm telling you, thatâs the Big Dipper. Iâm sure of it.ââ He said, unwrapping one arm from around you and pointing to a bundle of stars.Â
ââNo, Jameson,ââ You guided his arm over to the left with your hand, ââThatâs the Big Dipper.ââ
You turned over in his arms to face him, one of his arms wrapped under your waist as you lay on your side.Â
Your head was propped up with your other hand, so you watched his expression as he lay on the blanket, and he hummed in thought with his eyebrows furrowed.Â
He opened his mouth to argue but then fell flat. ââOh.ââ
He pointed back at the stars he was pointing at earlier, your hand still on his arm. "So⌠whatâs that then?â
You paused, looking at them for a good minute, trying to decipher which constellation it was. You came up blank.Â
âMy knowledge might be limited, butâŚââ you mumbled, your hand returning back to your side, and then you looked down at him again. âI donât think that even is a constellation. Theyâre just some stars.â
Jameson was silent for a moment before putting his arm back down in defeat. He hummed, âThatâs oddly sad.â
You adjusted the way you sat, scooting back into his arms and laying your head on his chest as both arms wrapped around you. You hadnât realised how cold you were just a minute earlier until you felt warm.
Your hand drew patterns on Jamesonâs arm. âBut it doesnât have to be.ââ You muttered, hesitating slightly. "I mean, they can still be important without being a constellation. They can just be stars.â
âThey can just be stars,â Jameson repeated, and you were suddenly hyperaware of the fact that you could hear his heartbeat, your ear on his chest. âI like that.â
âListen,â he started again, âThis defeats the whole purpose of what you just said, but⌠Why donât we just make it our own constellation?â
You laughed a little, shaking your head. âJust let them be stars, Jamie, for Godsake.â You huffed a laugh, tilting your head up to look at him.Â
âJust tell me what you see. After we leave this beach, theyâll go back to being stars. But when weâre here, itâs our little constellation.â
âOkay, fine.â You rolled your lips inwards, âOur constellationâŚâ You trailed off, trying to find something that fit those clusters of stars.
âI canât see anything.â You admitted after a long second.Â
You were almost saddened by the fact that you had a chance to make some special moment between the two of you, something for those butterfliesâthat insisted on never going awayâto actually have something to be happy about.Â
Instead of saying all that, you just stared at the stared at the stars and saw nothing extraordinary. Hiding that weird sense of melancholy, you asked Jameson, âWell, what do you see?ââ
âI seeâŚâ he chuckled, âGod, what do I see? I think⌠I see a bench⌠With two people on it.â
âA bench?â You questioned.
âYes, a bench,ââ he craned his neck down to shoot you a look, then leaned his head back on the blanket. ââThose ones at the bottom, those are the legs; then that part is the bench; then those are the heads of the people.â He said, pointing at each part as he went along. âSee?â
You squinted as you tried to imagine the picture Jameson was trying to paint. You tried, you really did, but you had no idea what he was on about. "Oh, actually, yeah!ââ You said, nodding. âYeah, I see it.â
A silence followed⌠Then Jameson suddenly started laughing.
You felt him chuckling against you, so you lifted your head. The sight of his smile was enough to make the biting cold disappear for a moment. ââWhat?â You said through a smile, unable to stop yourself from laughing too.
âYou are by far,ââ Jameson managed through a series of low laughs, one arm slung over his face as he continued laughing. ââThe worldâs worst liar.â
Your jaw fell open, accompanied by uncontrollable laughter on your end too. âWhat! Iâm not lyingâI do see it!âÂ
Jameson kept laughing, so you fully sat up, pushing yourself off of him and crossing your legs. He propped himself up on his elbows as he watched you.Â
âLook! I see it!â You wouldnât believe yourself if you were him, because you couldnât even speak without laughing through every sentence.Â
âThat's the bench, and those are the legs, and uhm⌠Those are the heads. Itâs our constellation!â You pointed up at the sky, vaguely in the direction of the stars you were looking at.
âI beg of you,â Jamesonâs laughter was dying out, but he still had that smile on his face, ââNever attempt to lie again. That was the saddest thing Iâve ever seen.â
âIâm not lying.â You said through a stifled giggle, putting your most serious face on.
âSay that again without that look in your eyes, and then Iâll believe you.â Jameson said.
Your smile faltered a little, and everything else in that moment seemed to slow down for a moment as you stayed looking at him, âWhat look in my eyes?â
Jamesonâs endless green eyes never left yours. He pressed his lips together for a moment, then let out a low chuckle, which more so sounded like a sigh. He didnât answer your question. âNothing. Lay with me for a while, will you?â
A part of you was disappointed he changed the subject; what did he mean by âlook in your eyesâ?
Then you criticised yourself for being disappointed. He probably just meant a teasing glint in your eye, like the one he has before heâs about to say something stupid in hopes of making you laugh.
You shook yourself out of your stupor, looking at the sky for a second before you looked back at Jameson.
With a roll of your eyes, you uncrossed your legs and shifted towards Jameson. âWhat a stupid question.â You remarked. âOf course I will.â
Jamesonâs expression turned amused with a raise of his brows. âInsulting and sweet, all in one go.â Jameson said, almost in appreciation. He lay on his back, and you on your side. âYou are an enigma.â
âDonât push your luck,â You muttered back, resting your hand underneath your face as you looked at him. âNext time, Iâll be just insulting.â
He turned to look at you, his hands resting behind his head casually with his elbows wide and relaxed. âI wonât mind.â He said simply.
You managed a dirty look, which only resulted in the both of you laughing. Your voice was hushed, âYou are very strange.â
âDonât pretend like you donât love strange.â He responded, a low chuckle escaping as he spoke.
You swore his eyes literally shoneâ glinted, sparkled, any word in the dictionary to describe something shiny couldâve been used to describe his eyes in that moment, but it still didnât feel true enough.
You were a little obsessed with the way they always seemed to be a little smiley when it was just you around.
You managed a bored, frustrated sigh as you puffed out your lips. âAnd what gave you that impression?â
âQuite a few things, actually.â Jamesonâs voice was low and gravely. He grinned at you, his eyes lidded slightly.
Your brows furrowed at that statement. Why was he saying things like that today? What on earth did that mean too? You were too tired to worry about it.
You felt a shiver pass through you as you looked away, then Jameson rose a brow and took that as a sign to open his arms out for you.
Wordlessly, you accepted the invite as you shuffled forward into his open arms. His arms wrapped around you tight, like they had a million times before. And you curled up against him, your arms around his middle.
You just then realised how late it had gotten. Youâd been here since sunset, and the sky was completely dark now. Yes, it was dark this whole time you were stargazing, but you didnât really let the fact sink in.Â
How long had passed? 3 hours? 4?
You noticed that Jamesonâs breath steadied, his hold on you the tiniest bit looser. Your own eyes were feeling extremely heavy.
You tried to stay awake, to dwell in the moment a little longer and memorise the feel of Jamesonâs arms around you, the faint smell of his cologneâfaint cedar and whiskeyâand the comforting chill of the breeze.
You couldnât help closing your eyes for just a few seconds.
Your eyes fluttered open, and you found yourself lying in a completely different position than you slept in, Jamesonâs front against your back with both his arms around you. You and Jameson mustâve fallen asleep still holding each other because of the cold gust of winds.
You carefully unravelled Jameson's arms around you. The pins and needles in your arm told you: you definitely did not just close your eyes for a few seconds. It mustâve been way past midnight by now.
Still slightly numb, your pushed yourself up so you were sitting up slightly.
Your attention went back to Jameson when you heard him groan slightly, his arms patting the blanket for a second, then he shifted to lay on his back.
You looked at the way stars shone in the distance, the sun long, long gone, and replaced by the moon. You then looked down at Jameson, who was still lying down, and his eyes were fluttering open slowly.
Thank goodness for the moonlight, and the faint beach house lights far away that illuminated his features in the prettiest way.
His eyes then opened fully, and you locked eyes for a moment.
A small smile played on his lips as he furrowed his brows slightly, as if asking you, What are you looking at?
You smiled back, despite your heart beating faster in your chest and feeling like you got caught in the act.
A part of you wondered how you could feel so warm inside when it was the middle of winter.
Jameson simply opened his arms out once again from below you, beckoning you in.
You didnât move, only letting out a sleepy laugh as you tried to engrain this image in your mindâthe slight messiness of his hair, messier than usual, the way the green in his eyes was no longer visible because of the dark, but they still gleamed and glittered all the same.
You suddenly wished you had thought of the time more, so that it wouldâve passed slower.
âCome here,â he grumbled, feigning annoyance with that stupid smile on his face, his voice tinged with sleepiness.
âOnly âcause you asked so nicely,â you mumbled back, as if you spoke any louder, the moment would shatter.
Your voices didnât need to carry much volume in this moment, because you didnât really need them. He could understand you just with a single look. You understood each other.
You fell back into his arms, and his arms wrapped around you a little tighter this time.
One hand was doing the same thing as last time, running up and down your arm, while the other was wrapped around your waist and pulling you close, like if he held you any looser you would slip between his fingersâsomeone trying to pick up sand, or hold water in their hands.
Your legs tangled in each other's, Jameson's soothing hand began to slow down, but you selfishly didnât want to fall asleep quite yet.
âJameson?â You mumbled against his chest.
He hummed, and you felt the vibrations coming from his chest. âYes?â
âWhat ifâŚâ You started, âWhat if this was every day? What if we just ran away from everything for a while?â
You were rambling nonsense, of course you werenât going to run away. You couldnât lie and say you never thought of it, but, it was simply reckless.
You could afford the consequences of running away, not with who your parents were and the image youâd paint.
ââI think⌠I wouldnât mind my days being full of you.ââ He confessed quietly, ââI mean, having fun with you. Making memories, living life to the fullest, and all that jazz." He continued, his hand resuming going up and down your arm. He exhaled, and you felt his neck move, looking down at you. ââYou got any more âwhat ifâsâ for me?ââ
You hummed in thoughtâyou had a lot. âYeah, actually.â You laughed slightly, âWhat if we get hypothermia out here? And, like, die before we get the chance to even run away?ââ
You felt him let out a low, sleepy chuckle against you. You bit back your smile even though he couldnât see you, out of sheer habit.
You wanted to lift your head and see his face, see his smile, but you felt way too comfortable on his chest to move a single inch, and you had that nagging feeling that if you did get up, you wouldnât be able to find the same comfortable way you were laying when you went back down.
âNever mind.ââ He decided, his voice breaking your thoughts. âNo more what ifâs for you.â
If only that could silence the what ifâs that lingered in your mind.
âHey!â you defended yourself, laughing slightly. âItâs a valid question.â
His hand that was previously on your back lifted up, and you suddenly felt cold again, until he began toying with the ends of your hair, then ran his hands through it, sending shivers that had nothing to do with the cold down your spine.
âOne that I donât have the answer to. Weâll see when we wake up.â
You managed a laugh despite your tiredness, and also managed another sarcastic remark. âButâŚÂ will we?â
You heard him gasp incredulously, though it was quiet. âYou,ââ he tapped your shoulder as if to emphasise your point, ââAre one dark, twisted person. If you donât have hopes for us surviving one night, how do you have hopes for anythingelse?â
âIâm not dark and twisted! I have hope, I swear.â You felt yourself getting sleepier, eyes getting heavier, and you couldnât help the light chuckles passing by your lips. âIâm just tired. Anything feels possible when youâre awake.â You stifled a yawn, ââEspecially with youâlike, having someone with you to keep you going. You know?â
âYeah, I know.â Jameson said. âIâll still know youâre there, though. Even if Iâm sleeping. Or tired. Youâre in my arms. Anything still feels possible.â He continued lowly, âSo, I will survive hypothermia.â
Jamesonâs voice could almost bring you to sleep. A giggle slipped your lips, âYouâre going to survive hypothermia by sheer willpower? Subconciously?â
âThats the goal, yes.â
Shaking your head, you let out a long sigh. âYou and your Hawthorne overachiever goals.ââ
You felt Jameson laugh tiredly against you, then you realised he was trying to keep himself awake, like you were, for the sole purpose of staying in the moment together for longer.
ââDonât act like you didnât know what you were getting into when we first met. You knew me.â
You let out a sigh, picturing the little middle-school version of you both ditching an event held by your parents, and accidentally meeting each other by the staircase to the cellar. Your spot.
You remembered your frustration when he asked you what you were doing there, when he was in your house.
Then you remembered thinking his green eyes were quite pretty, and after you got to talking, thinking he wasnât all that bad.
âI pretty much did, yeah.â You agreed with a light laugh.
Though, a part of that wasnât true. Sure, you picked up on his dangerous, devastating smile, that he was a risk taker, and that he did things according to his will. You knew he was a Hawthorne, and that Hawthorneâs werenât easy or simple.
But you wouldâve never known upon seeing him that first time, that you would develop a friendship with him that made you believe in fate.
âThen you should know,â He said, âhypothermia is not standing a chance against us.â
That word again. Us.
âIf we survive the night,â You jokingly started, hearing Jameson hold back a laugh and mask it with a cough, âLetâs do something crazy tomorrow to honour it.â
âCrazy,â he hummed, âcrazy, as in?â He prodded on.
âCrazy as in we run away for a day.â You blurted, without really thinking. âI dare us to do it.â
He let out an amused chuckle. âWell, you know Iâm one for crazy.â Jameson said, and you could hear the grin in his voice as you pulled yourself closer to him the tiniest bit more, adjusting your head on his chest. âAnd you know Iâm not one to back down from a dare. But are you being one hundred percent serious?
His hand ran over your hair, sending tingles down your spine. âYes, I am. Iâm not fully insane; we arenât really running away, I guess. Itâs just like a little road trip if you think about it,â you said.
âA road trip with no destination and not telling anyone where we are off to.â He contemplated, âSounds like a recipe for disaster. I like it.â
âAnd, where are we running off to?â He then said, continuing. âYou know, if we do survive this horrible, tempestuousnight.â
You let out a little laugh at his dramatics. You felt so at peace in this moment, looking at the pitch black sky with stars dotting it alight, hearing the faint sound of the waves crashing against the shore.
Your gazed fixed on those special cluster of stars, and you could almost start to see what Jameson was saying earlier.
The bench, the two people. Our constellation, you thought giddily.
âI donât know,â You admitted, âanywhere but here. Just for a few days. Iâm kind of growing sick of it all.â
âThen weâll go anywhere.â Jameson concluded. âJust for a few days.â His hand slowed, then stopped in your hair, then it moved to the middle of your back, and his hand lay flat.
Your eyes were heavy, and you attempted to stifle a yawn but failed.
You wrapped your arms tighter around Jameson, and felt his hand grasp the fabric of your hoodie. You wondered how long it would take your parents to notice your absence. Then you thought about all the things you could do, places you could go with Jameson.
âIâll make a plan tomorrow morning.â You mumbled in your half-awake state, because it didnât hurt to just be a littleorganised, especially when your ârunaway partnerâ was someone who liked to live on the edge 24/7.
You could hear Jamesonâs tiredness in his voice, along with that intoxicating smile. âI knew youâd say something like that.â
A little chuckle fell past your lips as you felt Jamesonâs chin rest atop your head. You curled a little closer into his chest, finally letting your eyes shut.
Youâd give up the sun, the moon, the stars, and everything in between if it meant everything could stay like this forever.
Well⌠Maybe not the stars. You wouldnât want to give up your new favourite constellation.
taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @littlemissmentallyunstable @anintellectualintellectual @lovethornes @maybxlle @sheisntyou @emelia07 @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @charsoamerican @hxress23 @imaseabear @clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @thelov3lybookworm @graysw1fe @lanterns-and-daydreams @hermesenthusiast @elysianwayy77 @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @apollosmusee @hijabi-desi-bookworm @goldi-1-graysons-version @saigonharrington @peppapigsposts @thoughtdaughter3 @apollospoem @jjsblueberry @yayyy-insecurities
#jameson hawthorne#jameson hawthorne x reader#jameson hawthorne headcanons#the inheritance games#the grandest game#grayson hawthorne#xander hawthorne#nash hawthorne#avery kylie grambs#tgg#games untold#tig#tig headcanons#jameson winchester hawthorne#jameson hawthorne fluff#the hawthorne legacy#⌠jude writes
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Off the Pitch (pt.3) // F.W x potter! Reader
Summary: your date in the three broomsticks is heating up
Word Count: 800
Authors Note: SHORT. Little little little plot I just wanted to write and post something today! I liked the silly little idea of a date. More imagine style I suppose
[masterlist]
Much Love, Saige
âââ
The walk through Hogsmeade was undeniably peaceful. Students and townspeople alike shared the streets, rejoicing at the sunny weather we all shared.
As you got closer to the three broomsticks, your heart leapt at the opportunity of some shade. You couldnât fight off the sweat that began to dimple your nose and cheeks.
The commotion on the streets was quickly replaced by the commotion in the pub, happy students and professors had all made their way to celebrate the end of the quidditch season. Shared drinks and laughs filled your senses and the sight was beautiful.
Fred continued to hold your hand as he ushered you through the dense crowd. You followed in close suit behind, holding his palm tightly, afraid to get caught up in whatever conversation was being had around you. You couldnât make out much, but you swore you heard your name and Weasley thrown around several times before you both settled in an open set of bar stools.
Madam Rosemerta made her way behind the bar smoothly, her ability to stay calm in such a hectic environment was quite memorable. She smiled at you both before Fred held up two fingers and did his best to exaggerate his lips to ask for Butterbeer. She nodded and turned, leaving you both alone to catch your breath.
You sat quietly, taking in the moment and admiring the feeling of the students all together, it wasnât until your attention was forcibly diverted out of your own tranquility.
âOy! If it isn't the new talk of the town!â Lee Jordan roared, slapping his hand down on Fred's shoulder while placing his other softy against yours. Lee smirked happily, his eyes darting between you two. âEven though I'm down 7 galleons, I'm still happy for you both.â Lee leaned over, covering his mouth mockingly from Fredâs gaze before whispering at a comically loud level.
âYou shouldâve heard what this boy was saying about you after games i mean seriouslyââ Lee laughed loudly as he confessed. âThe way he would be spinning in circles about how wicked your goalkeeping was. Letâs be honest, he had a different goal in mind-â he doubled over in pain, the air in his lungs getting forcibly removed as Fred jolted his elbow into Leeâs torso, making the boy bend over and heave.
âHeâs just telling stories.â Fred laughed bashfully, his cheeks becoming redder than his own hair. You smiled and sucked your teeth, laughing at them both. You couldnât help your own cheeks become red at the thought of Fred talking about you at all. It was all still very surreal that your day had gotten you here, in the three broomsticks, on a date.
âWell, Iâll always thank my admirersâ You joked, patting Fredâs back lightly. Madam Rosmerta set down two large bottles and awaited her payment. Before you could blink your eyes, Fred passed over a pile of coins. Madam Rosmerta happily slid the coins across the bar and inter her arpron pocket, wishing away to another customers needs. She was gone before you could protest, turning to Fred, aghast how fast he was able to pay for the drinks.
â I wouldâve liked to get those for us!â You protested, slowly pulling the drink towards you. Fred shook his head, pleased with himself and how silly it made you feel.
âYou snooze, you lose darling.â Taking a swig from his butterbeer, he held it just inches away from his lips. âYouâll get the next one, donât worry.â He took a gulp of the sweet beverage, winking at you quickly, his confidence coming back slowly after Lee Jordan's little escapade.
You sat and smiled, the wet condensation of the beer soothing your warm body. The amount of people in the bar only mimicked the heat outside. With little windows, no way for comfortable airflow or a breeze alleviated the thick air around you.
âWell.. thank you.â You leaned over, speaking it directly into his ear. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, the feeling of your breath overcoming his senses drawing his mind blank.
Clearing his throat, Fred smiled at you, trying to mask the head rush you just gave him. His mind wandered back to the quidditch pitch when you last kissed.
You watched Fred for a moment, his mind noticeably elsewhere. His hands fidgeted with his drink, a curious smile twitching on his lips. You couldnât tell what he was thinking or feeling, but you knew he was all you could focus on.
#harry potter#harry potter imagines#harry potter x reader#harry potter headcanon#harrypotter#harry potter fanfiction#hogwarts#fred weasley#fred weasely x y/n#fred weasley imagine#Fred#fred weasley x y/n#fred weasley x slytherin#fred weasley x you#fred weasley drabble#fred weasly x reader#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley headcanons#fred wealsey fic#harry potter headcannons
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Good Omens season 3/finale thought of the day:
So todayâs thought is to discuss a potential confirmed filming location. Due to the nature of this as a possible spoiler (because understandably there are some out there who wish to remain completely unspoilt until the finale airs) I shall place all my thoughts under the cut!
Weâve seen a couple of filming locations pop up on the socials but the one I wanted to focus on is Tills bookshop and cafe in Edinburgh (photo credit taken from a Google search).
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First things first, this is a super cute bookshop and goddamn I wish I was in the UK just so I could pop over and visit it regardless of the fact that itâs a possible filming location for Good Omens. I love me a cute bookshop especially if itâs also a cafe.
Now thatâs out of the way OMG WHY IS THERE ANOTHER SUPER CUTE BOOKSHOP?! WHY HAS THE FANDOM NOT BEEN GOING OUT OF THEIR GOD DAMN MINDS ABOUT THIS YET?! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!
Speculation time! What is the significance of this bookshop? I have thoughts and theories below each more outlandish than the next!:
- Aziraphale has opened another bookshop that no one, not even Heaven or Crowley is aware of.
- Crowley opened his own bookshop to feel close to his angel (thatâs where he was driving off to at the conclusion of the final 15).
- Aziraphale falls, has his memory wiped, and ends up working in this bookshop, thinking heâs human and Crowley finds him here! (Cue this thought of the day).
- it belongs to another angel and is also an embassy for Heaven. Turns out a bunch of angels started opening up embassies and modelled them after Aziraphaleâs because thatâs what they thought they should be. Aziraphale had no idea this was happening.
- it will have something to do with the book of life. Perhaps Aziraphale hides it in this bookshop. Or Aziraphale/Crowley/Muriel needs to go find it because itâs missing and thereâs a rumour it might be here (or any bookshop and this is one of the ones they visit).
- thereâs no real significance to it. Characters happen to be in Edinburgh (or perhaps anywhere) and they happen upon this shop and just go in for mundane reasons. Crowley might even give a bored quip about another bookshop.
- the fact that it also doubles as a coffee shop is interesting. Could it be somewhere the Metatron like to hang out?
- does something happen to Aziraphaleâs bookshop? Do they cast a miracle to change it, perhaps disguise it maybe, and this is what it now looks like?
- perhaps itâs an alternate universe? (I know Iâm starting to reach here)
- maybe Aziraphale and Crowley really do become humans in the end with no memories of their past and Aziraphale works in this bookshop and Crowley finds him here (HAHA! I choose violence!)
So what are your thoughts? Please let me know your theories and headcanons. Iâd love to speculate more!
#good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens thought of the day#good omens season 3#good omens theories#good omens discussions#good omens fandom#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#good omens finale
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hey there! itâs âlulu feels too hardâ anon back with another mini rant (not really a rant, more like an observation haha)
Itâs in the same vein of him feeling emotions hard, but i think one thing that needs to be emphasized in this dynamic is how much heâs tried to subdue his emotions â and i donât just mean recently. in many clips from his prep school days, like when heâs getting an award for example, you can see him smiling like a bit, but then cutting back to this neutral expression. Funny enough, itâs his eyebrows that always give him away loool. Itâs similar to how he acts in the court hearing, full of expression, but then immediately goes back to a stoic, neutral expression. Thereâs even moments like this in some of the clips from Hawaii.
I guess my point is, how much was he taught to mask his emotions, and put up a front. It seems to me that he was brought up in a collective environment where the saying goes âalways put your best foot forward, regardless of the circumstanceâ. I can understand this, coming from a family with similar values of âyou represent the family name, your success is our success.â
i think though, that this seems to be what makes lulu resonate with so many of us: heâs empathetic, despite trying to be stoic. Thereâs a duality about him â the confident Ivy League scholar and the vulnerable, empathetic people pleasing boy who seeks affirmation one way or another.
but I think under this guise of putting your best foot forward, combined with a sense of always showing your masculinity that many guys of that age are pressured to do (and letâs not forget that for most of his schooling he attended an all boys school so there is that sort of âour boysâ culture thatâs pervasive in these realms), he had to hide the other part of him which felt so deeply, so hard.
it reminds me of one of his Reddit posts talking about his issues with Brain Fog, and how he initially never thought to talk about it with his friends, and instead masked it under this idea of âoh well, marks donât matter for computer science majorsâ even though he was hurting and feeling so disappointed in himself to the point of contemplating dropping out. But the part that sticks out to me the most is what he said after in the post about even if you do end up telling them, if you wait too long, itâs almost like they wonât believe you (or something along those lines). And idk, thatâs just such a heartbreaking way to think and it makes me sad for him. He internalized so much it seems. And truthfully, Iâm not blaming anyone in his circle (family/friends) because I think part of it was also lulu never wanting to seem weak, which unfortunately clouded his vision of seeing that there were people who probably may have wanted to help. Itâs just an all around sad circumstance :(
Sorry for the long write up, donât feel like you need to provide a long response too! (haha i guess in some ways, i relate to lulu too :)
No, no, please donât apologize for writing this, you captured this so well! 𼺠I wish I had more to add on, but you literally took all the words out of mine and emphasized on this beautifully.
I also think thereâs that duality of having an internal vs. external struggle, where he could easily show and offer empathy towards others like it was nothing, but when it came to himself, it was a completely different story to extend grace. I know he had to internalize a lot, and the physical exertion of carrying all that weight on him had to have shown. I remember somebody mentioning how when heâs in deep thought in some photos, you see all the lines on his foreheadâand thereâs a lot of them, and once you notice them all crinkled, youâll never not look at them in other photos. So, he literally has/had so much on his mind.
Reading that part of about his brain fog, about the irony of opening up too soon to your friends, fucked me up, to be truthful. I similarity dealt with this about two years ago, when I experienced two close familial deaths within a month before I started my senior year of college, and I was grieving hard. So many people that I know looked at me and considering my bereavement with the âstrong Black womanâ trope because I do have a strong personality, and Iâve experienced a lot of hardship in my life, so some felt like that I was gonna be alright, regardless, and kind of brushed off my grief like, âOh, sheâll be alright, youâve always managed to go through thingsâ but no, lol. Itâs the reality that I think, that many of the âstrongestâ friends in the group more often than not, face, surprisingly, contrary to beliefâit happens all the time. When youâre commended to be a strong, resilient person, people donât consider you to be weak, as in, you canât persevere through struggles, but if you do, youâll be fine, and the suffering wonât take much of an effect on you. But, like anyone else in this world, it still hurts, and itâs still acceptable to just give yourself the space to say that it sucks, and it hurts to be hurting. Itâs sort of like, you have that universal perception of what it means to be hurt, but you canât express that youâre hurt in the same breath.
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hiii! could you make an imagine about maki getting jelous and confessing please? thank you so much âĽ
MOMENTS OF SILENCE
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8806b4801ba70cc6b559b31ac2f39db7/47d66299481ea66c-79/s540x810/7227e9774d20ef471065ff3cb6a3a6c5bea8f404.jpg)
maki &team jealousy confession
pairing jealousmaki!&team x reader
warnings smooching and like two swear words towards the end
notes wow my first imagine guys iâm growing up so fastđĽšđĽšall jokes aside tho im actually really nervous to publish this so if it sucks i am so sorry
︜âšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śâšď¸śď¸śŕ¨ŕ§ď¸śď¸śâšď¸ś
growing up next door to maki, you guys were known as the duo. you both were inseparableâyou did everything together.
when maki decided he wanted to become an idol, you were the most supportive out of everyone. you stuck by his side through the whole process, and it only made your friendship grow even more.
when he was officially in &team and they had their debut, you were always the first to know everything that was going on â even the things that werenât supposed to be out to the public yet.
now, a few years after their debut, you not only became friends with his members, but they see you as family as well.
your friendship with maki has also grown, but so have your feelings for him. you canât help but notice how well maki has been aging. his features are striking â everything about him is attractive.
also, after you stopped getting taller and settled on a height, he just seems to keep growing. he towers over you, which you canât help but find it undeniably hot when he has to look/lean down to talk to you.
on the other hand, you had a massive glow up too. learning how to take care of your skin, hair, and upping your style, maki canât deny finding you to be the most beautiful girl heâs seen.
you donât know that though. both of your feelings for each other has always gone unspoken for. the lingering touches and the admiring glances between you two had always been brushed off, neither of you wanting to confess.
you had always been touchy with each other, never making it weird. thatâs why, as youâre sitting abnormally close to maki â practically laying on him â none of his members find it unusual. he has one arm wrapped casually around your waist, trapping you in his hold. you scroll through your phone, watching tiktoks until harua makes his way towards you guys.
you look up, giving him a smile. you feel maki tighten his hold around you as harua places himself next to you on the couch.
âhey y/n, i found some new ideas for our handshake,â harua says. âsince we canât seem to settle on a good one.â
maki tenses up at the mention of a handshake. thats always been your guysâ thing. and as much as he hates to admit it, the thought of you having a handshake with someone else made him incredibly jealous.
âalright, show me what you came up with,â you smile. you try to shift to the side to get a better view, but makiâs tight grip around you makes you unable to move. âmaki, could you loosen up a bit? i canât move.â
âsorry,â he mutters, not tearing his eyes away from the phone in his hand. he lets go of you ever so slightly, just barely allowing you to turn your body.
you furrow your brows, confused as to why he seems annoyed. you just decide to brush it off, and refocus on harua.
harua shows you his ideas, some of them more complex than the others. after a few minutes of trying to master the complex ones, you eventually decide to settle on the easier movements.
maki watches you both out of the corner of his eye, wishing that it was him making you laugh like harua is.
and not to mention the way your hands are all over each other (peep the hand in handshake), he doesnât want anyone else touching you other than himself.
he loves but hates the way that his members care for you so much. he misses the times when it was a little awkward between everyone, so he had your full attention all the time.
now, he only gets to talk to you a minimal amount when youâre in the studio with him because his members are always wanting to hang out with you.
your loud laugh snaps him out of his trance, and he sees you grab haruaâs arm from laughing so hard.
he looks away, not wanting to get more annoyed. he notices that his jealousy level has been unusually high today, making him quieter than normal.
you also caught onto his quietness earlier in the day, and you just assumed he was having a rough morning.
you had no idea that he was pissed because you were giving other people more attention.
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after messing around with harua for another hour or so, everyone completed their daily duties, and decided to head out.
you wait for maki patiently by the door as you bundle up in your coat, preparing yourself to walk home in the cold weather.
after a minute, maki finds you by the door and he holds it open for you, allowing you to walk outside. youâre both silent, as makiâs jealously level hasnât fallen since the handshake incident.
the tension in the air is too noticeable, and you glance at him as you both make your way down the snowy sidewalk.
âare you okay?â you finally speak up, clouds of smoke coming out of your mouth from how cold the air is.
he only nods.
you stay quiet for a minute, not knowing what to say.
ââŚdid i do something?â you ask, your voice quiet.
âdo you like harua?â he blurts out after a moment of silence.
âof course i like harua,â you respond, your voice laced with confusion. âwhy wouldnât i?â
âno, not like that,â he shakes his head, keeping his gaze ahead of him. âi mean, do you like-like him.â
âoh- oh. no, maki,â you laugh, but immediately stop when you see that he doesnât find this amusing. âi love harua, only as a friend. why are you asking?â
another moment of silence.
âyou guys just seem.. close. thatâs all,â he says, glancing at you for the first time since you left the studio. the glance is piercing, his eyes dark and features slightly tightened. his jaw is clenched, and he keeps his hands in his pockets.
reverting his eyes back to the gloomy and misty sidewalk in front of him, you shiver.
but not from the cold.
âare you jealous or something?â you slightly smile, still wondering why he would be questioning this.
when he doesnât respond, you start laughing.
âoh my gosh, you are jealous!â you teasingly laugh. âmaki, youâre literally my closest friend out of everyone i know. i donât know why you think that i like harua more than youââ
âthatâs not why iâm jealous,â he cuts you off, stopping in his tracks. you stop too, and you both turn to face each other.
âthen why are you?â
he lets out a huff, looking everywhere but at you.
âbecause i like you, okay?â
silence overcomes the two of you again, for the hundredth time today.
âoh.â youâre not sure what to say.
âgosh, iâve justââ he pauses, looking around and running a stressed hand through his hair. âi began to like you ever since i told you i wanted to become an idol. you were so supportive of me, i just felt like you were the only person who truly cared for me.â
you reach your hand up in the middle of his speech, and run your fingers through his hair to brush the snowflakes out of it.
âiâve been too scared to tell you, but seeing you all close with the other members just made me realize that i like having your attention maybe a little too much, andâ can you stop that?â he swats at your hand thatâs still brushing the snowflakes out.
you pull your hand away, âsorry. continue.â
but instead of continuing, he just stares at you.
silently.
the silence kills him.
âfuck it.â
he grabs the back of your neck and pulls you into him, crashing your lips together. your eyes widen in shock for a moment before they flutter shut as you melt into his touch.
maki lets go of your neck and moves his hands to wrap around your waist, not once breaking the kiss. you place a hand on his chest, and you let the other gently grab his jaw.
you can feel your heart pounding against your chest as the kiss deepens. his lips feel unbelievably soft, and the unusual warmth between the two of you â given that itâs barely even 20° â makes you never want to let go of each other.
you eventually have to though.
as you slowly pull apart, you rest your forehead against his, still holding onto his jaw. maki lets out a sigh of relief that he didnât know he was holding.
âsoâŚâ you pull your head away from him, reluctantly letting go of his jaw.
âdonât even say anything,â he says, and as you pull away, you get a clear view of how flustered he is.
âalright, i wonât,â you shrug, feeling how red your cheeks are too.
you grab his hand, and resume your walk back home in a comfortable silence.
#&team#&team maki#&team imagines#&team x reader#&team reactions#&team oneshots#&team angst#&team soft thoughts#&team soft hours#&team scenarios#&team smut#&team deer hunter#&team drabbles#&team fanfic#&team fluff#&team headcanons#&team hard thoughts#&team hard hours#&team masterlist#&team jo#&team ej#&team harua#&team k#&team nicholas#&team taki#&team fuma#&team yuma#&team euijoo
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