#I wish I could sufficate myself to end my pain

[amarynthian-chronicles]

Equivalent Value

Sebastian Solace x Reader

(warning: suggestive themes)

"Come on, Seb, don't be like that. Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

He reached to place a clawed finger under your chin, tilting his head and grinning, narrowing his eyes.

"You are lovely when you beg. My answer remains negative."

"You are a jerk."

"A merchant's honour is very important, little light. As much as I enjoy your charming pleas, I cannot go against my own rules. You need to offer me something of equivalent or approximate value. And your sweet "pretty please" is not going to cut it."

He was taunting you, relishing the power that your despair offered. Perhaps your own pain was a soothing balm to calm his own wretchedness. It was more tolerable to listen to the shrieks of others than one's own, after all.

Still, you refused his answer. You frowned, crossing your arms over your chest.

"It is becoming insanely difficult to scavenge things and I am just trying to survive at this point. If you want to keep your favourite toy in a functional state, that will require some concessions on your end. Can you please make an exception this time? I am desperate here."

Sebastian could not deny the logic of your statement. You had never allowed yourself to be placed in such a position, and perhaps your claims of not having any research files to bargain with were truthful.

Magnificent. He could make you dance to his music.

He leaned closer, his lips brushing against yours, cruel words dripping like poisonous honey from them.

"How desperate are you, my wayward light?"

Mind games with monsters were a dangerous thing and you would normally do your best to win. However, this time you did not have any advantage and you simply wished to get the needed supplies. You sighed.

"What do you want?"

"The most precious thing you could offer to a starving man in this very moment."

You did not stop him when his strong arms snaked around your waist, engulfing and capturing you. You were his prize, the most valuable type of treasure he could acquire. His ally, his accomplice, sharing his secrets.

You were well aware that he wanted you, your mind, body, and soul. Whether you wished to admit it or not, you yourself were the most powerful card you had against him.

"I hereby offer myself. It is all I have. Will this suffice?"

To your surprise, he gently reached for your hand, kissing it in a gentlemanly manner.

"The payment is more than acceptable."

You blinked in confusion at the sudden change of demeanour. Yes, the feral desire was still there, but his actions were now coupled with a certain tenderness that bordered on worship.

Sebastian took his sweet time, placing many gentle kisses along your hand, then upon each finger. His teeth grazed slowly along your wrist. Your cheeks were burning.

"Oh, my."

"My blessing, my little light, sweet salvation. For years, I had remained here, condemned, left to rot in this oceanic prison. And yet, an angel has been sent to me, tormenting me, mocking me with their warmth, their hope. I shall feast, I shall drink that nectar."

"You send such mixed signals, you know?"

"To keep you guessing, of course."

"Bastard."

His lips claimed yours, eager, showing his claim. Your softness drove him mad, his long tongue reaching to explore the warm and welcoming cavern of your mouth. You made little muffled squeaks, surprised at the sudden surge of passion. Even more so at the length of his rather dexterous tongue that was exploring with pure abandon.

Sebastian decided to savour the moment, gliding his claws along your sides, grinning as he felt you shudder under his touch. Such softness. He had been deprived of the pleasures of simple touch and affection for so long.

Deciding that he should grant you the mercy of allowing you to breathe once more, he released you from the kiss. He nuzzled the soft silken skin under your neck, allowing your warmth to comfort him. Your pulse, your beating heart, a symphony only for him to enjoy.

Sebastian had to gather some control over himself, resisting the need to claim you in that very moment. No, he wished to slowly unwrap his present and enjoy each part of the payment that had been offered. Still, his three hands could not help themselves, fondling and scratching, teasing you all over. You were still gasping for breath, holding onto him.

"Seb..."

"I am busy, darling."

"Don't tear the fabric, I don't have a whole closet of clothing, you know."

"Worry not, I shan't disrobe you just yet. Your payment will be in several installments. This is merely the first one. As for the garments, I can procure you whatever you wish."

"Good thing you didn't print a receipt, while you are at it."

Strong hands kept massaging and squeezing your sides and hips, earning your sweet hums and moans as a reward. You relaxed in his hold, leaning your head on his chest, closing your eyes.

"A little to the right, upwards. My back has been killing me for days, this is wonderful. You should be a masseuse, Seb. Three arms work magic."

He laughed gently at your nonsense, resting his chin on your soft head.

"Of course, my dear light."

[jadeschambers]

CHAPTER 1: Trueform!Sukuna x Isekai!gn!reader

(reader has no gender but has f genitals.)

Parings: Ryomen Sukuna

Tags: Slow burn, eventual Smut, god/godess demigod reader, sukuna needs his own warnings, huge!size kink (that man is like 8 ft tall), mentioned cannibalism, noncon? (just beware, reader ❤️ him/ don’t read if it makes u uncomfy), cunnilingus, breast play. Some cursing n crack. original idea to this series on my page.

intro, II

In Teyvat, an old friend would persist that gods cannot be trusted. Is Sukuna the god that calls your knees to the floor and pulls the praise from your throat? Or is he a temptation of desires from a life you never knew you could have.

given by your enemies; wounds and gashes heavily mar your body. recent battles have not been kind, and sometimes you wonder if victory is worth winning. Sukunas estate was shrouded by an eery silence as the sun settled, and it was almost like it was only just you in the world. “Uraume. Give them a bath and bring them to me after.” Sukuna’s broad back met your gaze as he strode away, his white haired subordinate obeying with no hesitation. “thank you…”

the curse turned, an arrogant smile plastered on his face. “Sukuna, thats Lord Sukuna for you little dove.” it was almost like his arrogance transformed him.

the halls to the bathing chamber looked like it was intricately carved by the hands of a dragon sovereign, and it was admirably distracting. standing by your side as you entered the bathing chamber, uraume held out their hands. they wanted you to strip

“oh uhm— i can bathe myself-“ before you could even finish the robes on your tarnished body slipped off, and lukewarm water stung in the deep gashes decorating your body. “to keep lord Sukuna waiting will not suffice.” they grumbled, trying to scrub you as gently as possible. “h-hey! that hurts!” uraumes hands were not very gentle, but seeing as the dirt floated into the water their roughness was proven to benefit.

warm water was a luxury to commoners back in Teyvat, boiling water naturally was a pain in your ass. but as a well respected demigod, it was something you wouldn’t really have to usually worry about. soft towels were used to dry off your skin, and you were handed a beautiful silk robe.

it looked and felt heavy, and would most likely be hard to fight in, but if you weren’t to except the gifted robe would they see you as ungrateful. “oh.. this is very beautiful; but what if it gets ruined…?” the silk felt so soft rubbing against your hands.

“either way lord sukuna will end up ruining it. except the gift, he is not always this generous.” uraume replied, insisting to help you put it on. their words widened your eyes. what in the celestia were they babbling about? “took ya long enough.” sukunas voice was deep and sensual.

he carried an aura that was definitely unmatched to what i have seen. “thank you for the robe sukuna.. and thank you for letting me stay here.” you whispered, giving him your gratitude. “pull out your weapon.”his chin lifted slightly, and by god did he really look intimidating.

stepping back in hesitation, you began to double think. were you lured into a trap? “w-why? you aren’t going to fight me are you?” your body most definitely could not handle another fight right now, and it honestly felt like you were going to collapse. sukuna looked like a demon, and charging into a fight without knowing your enemies strength is a death wish.

suddenly you found yourself right in front of him, his huge frame towering over you. “w-wait! if we’re going to fight at least let me change robes!” you placed your hands on his chest in defense, and without realizing, Sukuna was sent flying backwards. Uraume stood with their eyes open wide before crouching by their master. it took a few moments to realize what you had done. “oh my archons! im so sorry!” you gasped, immediately running to his side.

Sukuna chuckled as he sat up, his large hands grasping yours. “a strong opponent, how interesting.” he suddenly pinned you beneath him— despite the huge hole in the wall from his body he seemed utterly fine. “just what are you exactly..?” sukuna tilted his head, absolutely infatuated with that innocent look in your eyes.

looking into his eyes felt like he was hypnotizing you, in defense you managed to wiggle out from his grasp. “im really sorry sukuna… you aren’t hurt are you..?” your eyes widened as you noticed the inky black tattoos stretching across his biceps. “non sense.” he shook his head, helping you up before leading you out into the hall. “you must be fatigued, little one.” sukuna smirk faltered as he turned. just what were you? no modern sorcerer in his time could even lay a finger on him, even those who lie in the Gojo and Zenin clan.

before you now were large dark oak double doors, and as sukuna pushed them open he lead you into the room. “rest here, let us resume in the morning.” he sat you down onto the plush bed. “thank you, i really didn’t-“ sukuna placed a hand on your head, preventing you from finishing. “it is nothing on your part. now sleep.”

“We shall turn to Oratrice Mecanique d’Analyse Cardinale to render the final verdict on the charges.” Neuvilettes voice reverberated off the opera houses walls, the audience below held in silence by the anticipation. “hm? this cannot be right..” the dragon muttered under his breathe. noticing the look on Monsieur Neuvilettes face, your mind pondered on what was about to happen. “The hydro archon, guilty.” the Chief of Justice paused, holding his breath. “To be punished via…the death sentence.”

with his words a wave of gasps erupt from the crowd below, and Navia stumbles beside you. “T-This cant be right!” someone shouts below. Furina sat in the opposite gallery, tears streaming down her cheeks. “The death sentence? Thats way too far!” they retort, many beginning to question the laws of justice.

A powerful earthquake suddenly struck the opera house, sending the audience to flee for the exits. “The waters are rising!” they screamed in horror, the stampede panicking for safety, praying to their archon for strength. Suddenly a gaping hole ripped through space in the middle of the opera house, and from the darkness a gargantuan whale leapt forward, weeping.

—

“So we’ve finally met it at last… I understand very well why it has chosen to make an appearance here.” The hole in space began to close as Neuvilette explained his plan. “thanks to childe none of you were eaten?” you asked, tilting your head in worry. “Indeed, but it still traverses in the Primordial Sea, it is not from here.”

Neuvilette placed a hand on your shoulder, a foreign glint in his eyes. “I am not a fully fledged dragon, which means i need your help defeating it.” now standing in front of you both of his hands gripped your shoulders. “b-but what about the oratrice..?! and Lady Furina?” you stuttered, eyes frantically searching the room. “We will worry about the trivial matters once we return.” Neuvilette assured, yet something felt off.

As you battled, many gashes were torn in your skin, making you wince. “Are you alright?!” Neuvilette yelled through the loud crashing waves, trying to reach you, only for the unknown entity to crash into the waters, its mouth wide open.

it was going to swallow you, and it was already too late. snapping its jaws shut, the sickening clench of the whales bones grinding together. the very last thing you saw before your vision turned black was the dragon sovereign running towards your limp body.

tumblr deleted the draft to this two fuckifn times but i honestly like mashing up different worlds like this c:

tags : @maskedpacific @kbirdieee2540

art credit to nachikusan, decay_int, woshihedawei all on X

[vxm1tcxre]

Lemme take a moment to deromanticize 3ds, if you don’t mind.

I have severe bul1m14. for years now, I have been trying to quit bping, only to get progressively worse as time has gone on- to the point where I get lucky if I make it through a single day without binging and pvrging once. On bad days, I will do so up to 5 times. Hell, I even have ever-so-slight bruising on my knees from spending so much time kneeling in front of bags and toilets, among countless other symptoms and places where my 3d has left it’s ugly mark.

Today was my birthday party. A celebration of my life. I had friends over. We visited a fun place in my city. They gave me gifts and we played games.

And did I get to enjoy it? Did I get to have fun with my friends and appreciate spending time with the people I love? Was it a good day? Will I remember it as such?

Of course not.

Like clockwork, I b1ng3d on the pizza and cupcakes my mom bought for me and my friends. I have consumed approximately 4800+ c4lories in a single day.

I have spent the last three hours after my friends went home locked in my room, trying to pvrge, but since I have abused my body so much, my gag reflex barely works. All I managed was to cough and choke up thick, viscous mucus and tiny chunks of pizza crust.

I am so full I can’t move without excruciating pain. I swear I can feel my bloated stomach pressing against my ribs, pushing them out. It feels like I’m about to explode. I want nothing more than to v0m1t- not only because I fear the weight gain, barely at this point. But because I am in such excruciating, unbearable pain and I just want this alien invader of carbs and sugar out of my damn body.

I have shoved an extension cord, the eraser end of a pencil, and the dirty toothbrush with bite marks on the handle from exclusively using it as my tool to pvrge because my fingers no longer suffice as far as they can possibly go down my throat to try and get some relief. Nothing.

I swallowed 3 heaping spoonfuls of baking soda and chugged seltzer water to try and give myself sodium poisoning.

I swallowed about 8 of my adhd pills and whatever antidepressants I had left, hoping they’d make me sick and push the food out of my stomach.

Nothing has worked. I am sitting in my bathroom, because I can’t lie down without acid flooding my esophagus, and praying that my stomach doesn’t burst open from the sheer volume of food I’ve shoved inside myself, begging the universe to not let me die.

I don’t want to die curled on the bathroom floor around my horrendously distended stomach, next to the scale I’m terrified to have to step on tomorrow morning. I don’t want my heartbroken parents to look through my things after I’m gone and find the bags of cold, rotten v0m1t hidden around my room.

Today was my fucking birthday party.

And instead of looking back fondly at this day, looking forward for things to come, I’m crying on my bathroom floor because I’m so fucking f4t and in so much pain I wish I could just sl1c3 my stomach open to remove a single ounce of the pressure against my insides.

But I can’t.

It will never stop.

I will never be able to enjoy days like these.

[mxnsterbabe]

Halsin/Female, Tiefling Tav SFW Wordcount: 638 Commissions | Ko-fi | Masterlist | Request for anonymous!

Even Tav, Cleric of Ilmater, sometimes needs a moment of reassurance.

There was only so much that Tav could do. Tav, Cleric of Ilmater, renouned Faerun healer, still couldn't perform miracles. That sort of thing was reserved solely for the Gods, and Tav was just a simple tiefling trying to make the world a little better.

Everyone in her party was, suffice to say, fucked up in their own unique way. Astarion, because of his master. Karlach, because of her heart. Wyll, because of his pact. Even Halsin, although he tried harder even than Astarion, perhaps, not to let anyone see it.

At the end of the day, even the best Healing Word couldn't save people from the everyday torment of just existing. 

With a groan, Tav dropped her head onto the tavern table, wishing, for once, that she actually drank.

"Is everything all right?" a gruff voice called from behind, over the din of the busy tavern. The voice sounded concerned, tinged with confusion, over her left shoulder.

"M'fine," she mumbled into the table, sucking in a deep breath. She had to be strong. For her party. Even if it was tearing her apart inside. Wasn't that the way of Ilamter? To suffer so that others didn't have to?

The voice hummed, unconvinced. Tav knew who it was behind her, would have recognised him anywhere, and she felt a stutter of guilt as he lowered himself into the seat beside her.

"Something is troubling you. Care to share?"

Tav shifted her head to glance up at Halsin with tired eyes. "I'm fine," she said again. More to convince herself than anyone else. "This is my burden to bear, and-"

"Bullshit."

Her eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

Halsin's expression was not unkind, but it was stern. "We are all friends here, and I like to think that we are... that we are more. If there is something on your mind, I hope that you would feel comfortable enough to tell me, so that I can help."

Tav's cheeks flushed, thankfully unnoticeable on her cherry-red skin. She scratched one curved horn, a nervous habit, and let her gaze flicker away.

Why did Halsin have to be so kind? There was guilt there, settled heavily into her gut, that he felt the need to help her.

"Lost in your head again, love? Come back to me."

Tav blinked, and it only served to make her cheeks warm further. Softly, hesitantly, she leaned her head against his broad shoulder.

"Our party are all dealing with a lot," she admitted softly, and her voice was so quiet that she wasn't even sure Halsin could hear her. Not above the chatter of the tavern, anyway. "It's my responsibility - no, my calling - to ease their pain. Sometimes I just wish... I just wish for a moment to myself. A moment to digest, and - and worry about myself, instead of everybody else."

"If you need to take a break, love, you should."

"I can't. Halsin, you don't understand. When I pledged myself to Ilmater, I promised to put others above myself. To sacrifice my happiness, my health, if I have to. To be so selfish is against my teachings, and-"

"And how do you expect to care for others, if you are in such a state you cannot care for yourself?"

Tav's lips parted to reply, only to snap closed again when she realised there was nothing to say. She sat with that for a moment, lips pursed. Debating. Considering.

Then, in a shuddering voice she murmured, "you make it sound as if I'm... important."

One of Halsin's thick arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, between the curve of her horns. 

When he spoke, he said something that made Tav's heart flutter, relief spreading through her chest.

"To me, you're the most important person in the whole world."

[cassie-lmao]

words that were left unsaid, but i wish were said out loud. an open letter for my ex. might be rough.

"b-but... but imagine the hurt i had to go through to hurt the person who i knew loved me the most, and that's you! i knew you loved me so much you would have given me everything i'd ever asked for. and i still had to hurt you. you can't compare your hurt to mine because i was forced to hurt you for you to stop loving me! I DONT DESERVE LOVE!!!! ESPECIALLY GOOD KIND!!! I DONT DESERVE TO BE CARED ABOUT!!!"

alright then, a simple no would have sufficed. a simple "look, i can't watch you do this to yourself. especially for me because i think i'm worthless. you can't change that and right now i'm not in a situation where i could either. but i want you to leave me alone or i'll block you for your own sake." and im gone. im fucking gone. out of your life. forever. BUT NOOOO instead of that you became straight up abusive over the course of MONTHS and drained and tore every fibre of my optimism, my happiness, my cheerfulness, my love, my care, my child-like playfulness i thought i lost a long time ago before you found it for me, my EVERYTHING, the entirety of my OWN SOUL out of me. you stripped me of what made me "me". i reached a point where i cant live with OR without you. you pushed me to the point where i was forced to make the choice to leave or end up either commiting or in the psych ward. you made me hate everything because everything reminds me of you. of how good we started then how terrible we became. my bed reminds me of all the nights i went to sleep with the biggest smile on my face, tearing up, because i was so happy to have you. then all the memories of me crying myself to sleep because you didn't treat me with love anymore. my favorite videogames remind me how i always recorded my favorite scenes for you to see, then how i played to distract me from the pain.. the social media platforms are all tainted with memories of us exchanging heartfelt conversations, then how i stared at your dry or passive aggressive responses.

your voice, your laugh, your smile, your beauty, they live in my head rent-free and they always show up in my dreams.

everything reminds me how i fell for you like i did for no other and you chose to became LITERALLY ABUSIVE instead of working on your inability to accept love or at the very least, send me off for good so i don't become this fucking miserable. how you gave me zero explanation. how i watched the love of my life slowly become more and more distant until we were like strangers. strangers, who were at each others throats almost every day because one always attacked so the other had to constantly be on edge preparing for the next fight.

AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, AFTER MONTHS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE, I AM GONE, FOREVER, the same fucking result you could have EASILY achieved with communication. like a fucking grown up.

but no, instead, you crippled me emotionally. and then, after everything you did, you get to say you are hUrTiNg MoRe???? almost as if i was the one abusing you because i couldn't let you go for a long long time. well fuck off you self centered selfish sociopathic piece of shit. i hope one day you pull your head out of your ass and face what you fucking did instead of running away like you always do.

and p.s: dont forget you told me how your ex treated you. how you traumabonded with them and how long you were struggling with it. and then you treated me in LITERALLY THE SAME FUCKING WAY, and would you look at that, I TRAUMABONDED TOO. one would think someone who experienced a traumabond first-hand would have more awareness and wouldn't do that to someone else but you absolutely did it to me instead of walking away. are you this fucking obliviously stupid or are you just this evil??

[multiversxwhore]

☾☾☾Hello! Hope you enjoy what you’re about to read, I would appreciate it if you like, and reblog my work here on tumblr. Please do not share my work anywhere else, and if you see it has been, or someone is claiming the work as their own please tell me. My master list is linked in my bio! My ao3 is pinned to my page ☽☽☽

Pairings: Adam Sackler x plus size–black!oc

Warnings: suggestive thoughts, drama.

Word count: 2k

Theme Song: Telepatía— Kali Uchis

Chapter 2

The worst thing about getting black out drunk, and partying all night, is the morning after.

“Fuck me.” I groaned, I turned over once, and off the bed I went. My body hit the floor with a loud thud; the way I fell yanked my breast at an awkward angle, causing the skin around my nipple to rub against the skin of my stomach.

“Shit.” I squealed in pain, the stinging sensation bringing tears to my eyes, I massaged my breast a little hoping it’ll help. I lay there for a moment, my body felt too heavy to be bothered at the moment. Last night was a blur, the only face that stood out was some tall, dark haired man. A permanent scowl on his face in each memory of him from that night.

At the thought of this mysterious stranger, a warm, tickling sensation stirs between my thighs. Flashes from me and Mr. Broody in the bathroom invades my mind; a phantom pain from my ankle reminded me of the way his large hands gripped me. I can still feel the way he pounded me damn near through the bathroom wall.

I reach my hand down between my thighs, the scene from last night replaying in my head on a loop, I shrugged my shoulders, “Mine as well rub one out while I’m down here, not like I’ll ever get that dick again.” I mumbled to myself, just as my fingers slipped over my naked shaved vagina, the short haired white woman, and blonde friend slipped into my head.

“Ugh, go away.” I squeezed my eyes tighter, trying my absolute damndest to go back to the tall fine man I met last night. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t go back.

“Stubborn cow.” I sucked my teeth, the aroused feeling that was once there, is now gone. I wanted to cry, it’s been way too long since I even wanted to masturbate, or touch myself in any kind of sexual manner. I knew for sure, I wouldn’t be getting that feeling back.

“Sigh, fuck it.” Carefully I get up off the floor so as to not tear the skin off my nipples a second time. Groggily I waddle into the kitchen, my hands automatically grabbing for the coffee pot, and mug.

“Eh, kinda stale, but it’ll do.” Just as I go in for a third sip my phone rings. Letting out a deep heavy sigh, I slowly make my way back into my bedroom, and over to the nightstand. Nyla, who I met at an event I planned for Maddison 2 years ago. She decided that a simple voicemail wouldn’t suffice since I didn’t answer the first three times.

Nyla: Answer the damn phone! Taylor told me about you being a whore last night!

Nyla: I need to know

Nyla: if you don’t call me, I’ll just show up.

I wished I could have rolled my eyes harder, of course Taylor told her, I’m not one to go into full detail about my sexual adventures. It just seemed inappropriate, and awkward somehow. I inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly, and decided to call back anyway. The second she answered the phone, I was swarmed with questions.

“Oh my god, how big was his dick? Was he Black— wait nah, knowing you he was white, it was a white guy wasn’t it? Come on out with the filth Angie.” Nyla jumped right to it, as usual, blunt, and I expected nothing less. It remained quiet on her end, politely waiting. I put the phone on speaker and I moved to the bathroom to get ready for my day. After the skin care routine, I went back to my messy closet, I sighed out loud.

I wasn’t in the mood to be dressed up, so I put together something casual instead.

“Ny aren’t you a Gynecologist? You hear about sex enough don’t you?” This didn’t satisfy her, the sound of Nyla smacking her lips from the other end made me chuckle.

“Angelica…did he stab you in your cervix or not?” A flashback of last night popped into my head, I could still feel the way he stretched me out as if he was still inside of me.

“Girl, I don’t even remember his name, by the way, I’m about to go to the grocery store, want anything?” Quickly, I changed the subject. I'd rather talk about anything but getting buss wide open in a public bathroom while intoxicated.

“Stay put, I’ll come get you so we can shop together, and you can tell me all about your hoe-adventure.” Her tone is stern, but motherly. I usually take the train everywhere, Nyla hates it, she’s scolded me more than once about riding the subway. I don’t mind it though, people don’t bother me, a few men stare, or gawk.

“Fine, let me know when you’re outside.”

“Kay, byeee.” Nyla hung up on her end, I breathed out dramatically, and stared at my tired face in the mirror. My whole body felt heavy, I don’t even know how I got out of bed this morning.

My phone buzzed, Nyla’s name flashed across my screen, I sighed picking it up.

Nyla: I’m out side hooker

I looked out over my balcony to see Nyla is indeed outside, her chocolate colored skin glistening in the morning sun, the Prada shades on her face sit on the lower half of her nose. She laid on the car horn for what felt like three minutes. Her music blasting out of her car so loud, the air carried it up into my open window on the third floor.

“Get in loser we’re going shopping.” She shouted out the window, before I stepped off the sidewalk, I lowered my own shades so the sun wouldn’t burn my retinas.

“In a great mood this morning?” I fastened myself in, Nyla is a typically safe driver, but I couldn’t help but fiddle with the coins in the passenger side door.

“What can I say, ten inches of dick really solves world hunger.” A grin spread across her face, I looked at her horrified by that unexpected information. Involuntarily I let out a chuckle, I’m too bashful for my own good, but Nyla is open about her sexuality.

“That’s why you didn’t go out with us? Because of a dick appointment?” I pulled out a tissue to dab away at the fake tears that rolled down my cheeks, she snorted, turning back to the road.

“Yes, because what’s more important than getting beat down by a 6ft Hispanic man?” That was actually a good point. Nowadays, life is such shit, the least you could get out of it is sex.

“Sigh, I wish life was that easy.” I didn’t mean to say it outloud, a part of me wishes I hadn’t.

“Still worried about that first draft? I thought you were done with it already?” The lines on Nyla’s forehead creased as a worried expression settled in. That is why I didn’t want to say anything, I didn’t like when people worried about me, or offered help. Even if I needed the help, I try my best to refuse, and figure things out on my own.

“I’m not worried about it…I mean it’s fine honestly. Just a few tweaks here, and there. It’s cool.” I rushed out, though I tried my best to convince her, I didn’t even believe myself.

“Angela—

“It’s fine I promise.” I wanted to cry, I felt bad for cutting her off, but I just couldn’t deal with the tone of her voice at the moment. I'm not in the mood to censor myself, Nyla doesn’t deserve that attitude.

“Okay, fine.” Nyla replied sharply, that stung me a bit, and I’m not sure if I actually hurt her feelings. I could ask, though that may result in digging myself a deeper hole, so I let it be. The rest of the car ride felt rigid to me, the music playing quietly from the radio was the only thing filling the space in the car.

Unknowingly my fingers fiddled with the coins even more, just then my phone buzzed in the pocket. Who the hell is this? I stare at the phone for a while without blinking, I hoped that the answer would just come to me, but nothing.

“Uhhh, Are you gonna answer that?” My heart jumps as I’m pulled back into my current reality, I turn to Nyla and shrug my shoulders.

“I don’t know who this is.” Eventually the phone stopped ringing, letting out a puff of air, I unbuckle myself, and hop out.

The great thing about shopping with Nyla, is that I don’t have to talk. We just slowly took our time walking through the aisles, this is how I liked things to be all the time. Chill, quiet, and easy going.

“Um excuse me, miss.” I heard someone call from behind me, before I turned to see who it was, I instantly felt annoyed. The last thing I want while I’m enjoying my day is to be bothered by anyone other than my companion.

“Can I help you?” I could have delivered that better, usually my tone is kind, and soft to strangers. The short haired woman seemed just as annoyed as I was, but I don’t think it’s for the same reason.

“You don’t remember me?” She sounded offended that I didn’t remember her face, though in my eyes she looked like the last five women I passed by.

“If I did I’d say so.” One hand placed on my hip, and the other gripping the end of Nyla, and I grocery basket. She was off to the side staring at cabbage, I knew she was listening, but she didn’t say anything.

“From the bar last night? You literally fucked my boy— ex boyfriend. I saw you leave the bathroom with him.” She accused, her voice whiny, and her face screwed up. I looked at her plainly, to be fair, I really did try to think hard from that night.

“You’re that girl with that bitch of a friend! She’s a liar by the way, you don’t need friends like that.” I folded my arms, I remembered how her friend was practically screeching at me, and Hazel.

“Oh my god, Jessa is not a bitch, she was being a great friend. That’s what real friends are supposed to do.” She folded her arms over her chest like a child, I rolled my eyes at her antics. This is not how I wanted to spend my day.

“Let me ask you something lady, were you and him together that night? Like were you actively dating?” I held her gaze, I was already assuming their relationship was on the rails beforehand.

“It doesn’t matter! If a woman is telling you that’s her boyfriend then—

“Whatever sis, you can have him back, I don’t even remember his name.” I cut her off, honestly I didn’t care what her answer was, I had already unplugged from this whole interaction.

“Yea well, I don’t even want Adam back, I broke up with him!” She shouted, her face turning red, I stared back at her. Neither one of us were convinced by her words, I respect her for standing firmly in the delusion though.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, the same number from earlier came across the screen. Clearly this person isn’t going to leave me alone, little Ms. Entitled has to wait.

“Excuse me.” I turned my back to her, she scoffed as if she couldn’t believe I had the audacity to not pay attention to her.

“Who is this?”

“Are you going to be this mean every time we talk?” The voice on the other end sounded familiar, his name right on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t push it out.

“Listen, I don’t know who this is—

“It’s me, from last night…we fucked in the bathroom. Which was great honestly—

“Adam?” I could feel a Grinch-like smile creep its way onto my face, I should feel bad right?

“Oh my god you’re talking to him right now aren’t you!” The woman behind me shouted, her sudden outburst made my heart jump. I forgot she was standing there.

“Wait a minute, are you with Hanna?” Adam’s voice fell flat at the sound of Hanna’s voice, I envisioned his facial expression in my head. A tiny giggle passed my lips, I just wanted to kiss that grumpy face.

“Listen whatever white people crazy ness you, and your girlfriend got going on I don’t wanna be a part of it.” As cute as Adam is, and as great as his dick game is, it’s not worth the headache.

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

Hanna, and Adam rushed out at the same time, I looked over to Nyla to make sure she was getting all this. She’s exactly where I left here, she was already looking in my direction. Her dark brown eyes sparkled with merriment, of course she was enjoying this.

“I don’t have time for this, hopefully you work your shit out. Goodbye Adam.” He began to argue on his end, but I had already ended the call.

“Goodbye to you as well, New York is a big place so I hope to never see your face again.” I turned swiftly on my heels, I tossed my long curly weave over my shoulder.

“You too.” Hanna mocked in a childish voice.

“That was lackluster, I expected more from the little white lady.” Nyla sighed, she came looking for a fight, but all she got was a tousle.

I tried my best to continue my shopping without thinking of either of them. Forgetting Adam would be harder than I thought.

a/n: tags— Nyla: @minishimi

[kenjii-in-paris]

It’s hard trying to keep myself alive. I wonder if people realize how tough it is to live a normal life and living like a dead animal. When I think of my future I see myself in a land of unfamiliarness but centered around the most beautiful part of the world. With myself or with a lover to hold and kiss would feel like a miracle or maybe a dream. But sometimes I ditch such miracles and find myself dreaming of the dark where my constant pain I’m in sufficed. This raging battle of 7 years has yet to descend. Now i understand the wars that go beyond just 10 years must be a tough one knowing you lose so many men on the field while pieces of myself loses its passion. It just wants to end the battle and live on with embarkment. To joyfulness and fulfillment. But only in death will I become relieved but I want to sing and dance with the idols in South Korea. To it’s west where Japan is with all the lights in tokyo. I want to learn their language and live my life with another culture other than my own. To see the world through their eyes and find myself a man or woman by my side where I could reside peacefully. But I want to put something to my head and hear the click of the trigger before feeling it through my brain until my body slumps and I no longer wish to join into the world’s fun and enjoyment. Just let this pain stop

[sangosongo]

The Devil That is Silence - Original Short Story

Disclaimer: There is depiction and imagery of blood, gore, and death (animal & human) within the story. If you are sensitive to these subjects, please read with caution and/or end your reading. 

______________________________________________________________

I love the silence. 

It is the touch of a sweet memory one could spend hours crying to, or the embrace of someone who loves everything you encapsulate. But lately that silence has been disturbed. I can feel the gears rusting from each little knick and knack that knocks on my eardrum. A feeling that I haven’t forgotten; the urge to decimate it into atoms with nothing remaining. It’s been a few days, but I have yet to discover where it’s coming from. This house is far from the normal bounds of society. I’ve made sure of that a plethora of times. More than I can count, but I know, when I built this house that my calculations were perfect. Perfect I say. 

Yet, I can hear it constantly looming over me. Within the stale floorboards that creak with each slight contact, screeching more than steel on a chalkboard. Sometimes I catch its shadow dash under the floorboards, inside the ceiling and into the worn cabinets. They shake in eagerness, ready to pounce but only waiting for you to make your misstep. Soon, the foul stench of rot and gunk infiltrate your nose that makes every single cell of your body revolt. If you don’t act right then, you will catch that fickle spark that once represented hope. As shadowy threads wrap around your legs, you want to run towards the light –the eye of the beast– but you know that you will be decimated into something… a husk? A spirit portrayed through blood? Or maybe a singular eyeball hanging from the ceiling that swings between the gateway of heaven and hell. 

I can see it… 

Taunting…

Scoffing…!

Maniacally scraping its claws on every single surface of this house but not leaving a single mark… 

Ha… Haha…!

This house is my oasis. I will not let the monsters of my house take my soul. They are fighting in my territory. Away from the common folks, tucked deep within the forest where nothing but time exists. The wooden walls of the house hug me,with their imperfect marks and unpolished edges, the dim lamps caress me back into bliss, and every piece of furniture reassures my comfort.

That’s why I need to hunt. I need to stop it. Before my memories come back to haunt me. Before I plunge back into hell. 

I need to put a safeguard. 

Before the hunt one must do a prayer to form a safeguard. It will protect this oasis from any wandering souls scavenging for negative energy. That’s what I remember being told growing up… the only thing that can bare its fangs deep into your flesh is your own self. Mangled and thrashed before your very eyes, rotting as a pile of seething maggots. You must not let the devil sway you from the glory of God. A valuable lesson, one I regret not learning soon enough.

The price to pay for this safeguard has to be something that cannot be remade; a piece of your soul, body and mind. Your humanity. The monsters in hell prey on your anxiety even in your split second of comfort, they will rush towards the trail of fear. It’s marked in the air, shepherded by an invisible chain. 

This blood encapsulates my humanity- thus, it will protect me. I must surround myself in a veil of my own humanity, distancing me and those damned spirits. I can feel that passion in all layers of my skin; trembling, rushing towards the tips of my fingers. Perhaps a fingertip would not suffice, but a palm.

That must be enough. 

That’s certainly true. 

Would the gods not be satisfied with that humanity?

If not they would be mocking me… I would wish the most painful death to those gods! A closed circle must be formed around my oasis. With the palm of my humanity separating what is evil and holy!

Now! 

I open a portal to the heavens with this blade through the palm of my own hand, revealing all that is true and human onto all of the land! It will absorb, seep into the ceilings of hell itself and satisfy the devil that dares to keep haunting me with its ghastly roars. The succulent aroma will satisfy their hunger, flowing down their throats like a stream in the desert. The blade must engrave symbols of heaven into the outside walls of the house. I will do this until you can no longer see a flat plane of wood… no matter how long it takes or at what time of day. Persistence is key and the devil never waits.

…

The sounds… the sounds don’t stop though. After I poured so much of my humanity into that safeguard, almost sacrificing the nerves in my hand to the devil! I scream and wail, lashing and slashing the monster that leaps through the cracks without a care, feeding on the splinters of wood that rain before me. The flickers of the light fade with each little moment almost disintegrating when my knees collapse. Does he want my other hand?!? My head?!? 

Why? 

Why? 

WhywhywhywhywhywhywhyWHYWHYWHY?!?!

Is he playing a game with me…?! IS THAT IT?! Like I'm some sort of mechanical puppet– A helpless sunken doll; swept away into the merciless water and persecuted to drown for all of eternity?!

Perhaps it’s a test. This only started recently. Yes. I just need to get rid of the irregularity before all this happened. Perhaps… 

… 

I sink the handle of the red axe into my lap, awaiting for the irregularity to show. I know it’s you– the irregularity that’s been happening ever since the sounds started. You must be a messenger of the devil, reporting my habits back to your majesty, cackling at how foolish I look from those dark, musty eyes. But I've analyzed your patterns, I am not just a puppet with no thoughts. I am your opponent, enemy, an obstacle that you will now fear. Back when you sent over that messenger in the form of a human and slaughtered my family when I was a meek child. Naive I was, unknown of the lessons in the human world to survive in a relentless world controlled by the devil. But I’ve learned and adapted to stick in-between a world without such jurisdictions. 

Clink! 

Before I could think, I felt the crisp yet bitter winter wind through my hair. The branches crunch under my feet as the moonlight shines down, blessing me with their power. There is nothing but the feeling of determination, adrenaline contorting my spirit like a weak spring. Before I knew it, my cheeks were sore from my own smile, A grip so strong that I could carve my nails into the wooden handle of the axe. The endless darkness of the forest couldn’t lay a hand on me, I was a cougar on the hunt: powerful, relentless and unmerciful. 

I peer down at the trap now clenched onto the leg of a helpless deer that pants on its side, staring up at nothing but the hopeless stars. The blood of the devil… soothing out beautifully, I can tell just by looking into its eye. Tough, uncut, disfigured like mashed up ground beef, moving around sporadically like the parasite it is. Flashing from a crimson red to a pitch black in milliseconds, the moonlight accentuating its disfigurements further. Its ears flicked with each of my blinks, as if we were synchronized as one. I felt disgusted at that thought. The forest was silent and the wind paid no mind to acting on its own, brushing my ear at an attempt to bring me back into reality. The spotlight was now on me. As my nightgown swayed quietly, the feeling of bliss and anticipation weighed in the darkened forest. Amongst the fog I could feel the gaze of a million different animals waiting… watching… for my hand to deliver judgment. Joy flows throughout my entire body; pure bliss as my fingertips tingle, ready to leap, compelling my entire body to decimate.

This has to be the devil…  

What if…

No.

Now is not the time for what-ifs. 

The axe became the moon itself– chosen as its relic.

Now…!

…

…Ha…

…Ahaha…

AHAHAHAHAHA!!

The devil no longer has a host! Bleed! Pool before me! Painting my shoes as a portrait of God himself! The deer chokes on itself, but I pay no mind to its suffering. The eye of the devil… It's twitching at a pace I cannot comprehend. I see… They’re still taunting me… 

“It’s not over… yet…” 

“NO!” I yell in fear, covering my delicate ears as the axe drops into the ribs of the deer, spewing droplets of blood onto my clothes and cheeks. The devil is still here! Hidden in the woods, mocking, teasing my brain into thinking it was over. He’s in that tree… No! That bush- my oasis?! Anticipating my every move?! Damn he…! Damn that horrid spirit that continues to spew delusions and ruin my oasis! 

Damn he… Damn it! DAMN IT! 

“DAMN IT ALL!!!!” 

The deer is nothing more than a pile of guts, rotting away with each second. My axe dirtied with sin on all, seeping into the palms of my hand and into my heart. 

I must return to my oasis before the devil consumes it all. Before I turn into a husk of my former self; nothing but trauma and all that encapsulates fear, anxiety… despair. But I can never forget my family crying in agony, the slashes of flesh that flew over the walls before me. The anger I saw seething from the killer holding a machete as I hid in the dark, waiting for the sounds to dissipate. Sirens blaring in the background, flashes of red scanning through the dusty window blinds that reveal the sullen eyes of the monster. One who thrives off of those shares its morals. Their tilted head, locking eyes with me as if they were bonding our souls together. I couldn’t look away, I was just a weak fish lured by bait while the police shouted from outside the window. The shine of the machete shared the same color of his eyes: merciless, unforgiving, spiraling into an endless abyss, distracting me from the bodies that lay behind him.

His face soon inches away from mine while I trembled, his gaze entranced by something far behind me… my conscience. An emotionless expression on his face yet I could see a hellish canvas of agony behind those pupils. An invitation into their soul… a veil of suffering overtop a faint cry for help. 

A single gunshot emerged from the chaos, his body flew back, the glass window shattered behind me. An explosion of sounds… my brain then shut off. That’s when I experienced the joy of silence where no other sounds mattered. Not the screams of the neighbors, nor the commands of the police, or the sounds of my weighted breaths…

Just me. Staring at the machete. And I think, If I hadn’t opened the knock at the door that night, what would've happened? 

For a split second, I felt a sense of relief upon seeing the lantern that hung on my porch. The moths that huddled around the sphere of light, welcoming me back to safety. But the sense of unease lurked with my soul. My blood started to flare once again, the hairs on my arm standing up and the muscles of my leg tense up. 

Something is here. I'm convinced- no. I know it. I will end this hunt. 

I must not be spotted, or else the devil will send reinforcements. As such I must hide in the bushes that surround my oasis before taking action. 

What waited was a lone man. A backpack and a water bottle hanging from the strings while his entire attire was unkempt. A backpacker? A traveler? Was he lost? I could see a lone compass in his hand, and his gaze aimed at the door. He spoke, saying he was lost to the door. I had not noticed such changes in the weather, it was unbearably cold. 

He knocked on the door. It sounded like a heartbeat, repeating and forceful. I could feel it from where I was standing, as if it came from the earths core. I was shocked, my anxiety burgeoning inside now. I begged him to not knock on that door again, but my own voice soon rendered by paranoia. Was I going crazy…? Or were his knocks synchronized with my heart?

A knock. A heartbeat.

Two knocks. Two… heartbeats

Three knocks. Three… individual… heartbeats.

My chest started to collapse on itself, suffocating, blurring my vision with each passing second. The sight of the blood on my shoes transformed into the waves of the ocean, dancing around my peripherals. Darkness engulfed the night sky, the moon stolen by the devil itself. I thought I was being cursed, but no it was a blessing…

As the man turned around, his true form emerged. 

Covered in blood from head to toe, submerged under the veils of wrath and stenched in foul. The pool beneath their feet boiled up like lava fresh from the core of a volcano. His twisted claws shifted and attacked on their own, penetrating everything around it without making a single dent. They shrieked, creating a foul symphony of suffering and torture. A looming shadow distorting his entire upper body, yet I can see that eye… Piercing light itself. 

This was him… The devil. That gaze had the same feeling as that night, I could see the machete slowly form in his hand…

“End it.”

“You know you want to.”

”¡¡sɹɐǝʎ ǝsǝɥʇ llɐ ɹoɟ ƃuᴉɹnpuǝ uǝǝq ǝʌ’noʎ ʎuoƃɐ puɐ uᴉɐd ǝɥʇ puƎ“

All doubts must be damned! No longer will I be a victim to the sounds of the outside world! No longer will I be subject to harrow by the subjects of hell itself. 

“NO LONGER WILL THE PAST HAUNT ME!!!” 

“You’re not strong enough… NƎΛƎɹ”

My axe smashes down onto the devil, exploding in an array of fireworks arranged from the seven deadly sins. Threads of immorality tangle around the axe, bounding it to its prey. I can see its smirk, licking his lips with satisfaction, but I repent its smirk and use all my might to release the axe. I strike again with my soul! I could taste the luscious flavor of blood on the palate of my tongue, my iris dilating with each centimeter of skin I cut through. His claws enlarge greater than life and shadow enveloping into a shield. He is weak. A weak, stupid beast who only taunts its predator with nothing to protect itself! Claws made of folly and the face of a clown!

“DOWN YOU HORRID SPIRIT IN MY OASIS.” 

A devilish laugh emerges from the monster. I seeth in rage. My nails dig into the palm of my skin while my teeth carve markings into my lips. Strength bounds through all of my arms and strikes down like a true general of justice. 

“DAMNED BEAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The sound of cracking bones is a symphony to my ears. Tears of the lost escaping the lids of the devil's eye before it collapses onto the ground, unmoving… unassuming... I can see the inside of its neck, the melody of blood and bones revealed to heaven, spewing like a magnificent fountain. That’s the spirit of the devil spewing out, intoxicating the air with its hellish ideologies. I must rid this world of that feeling. There must be complete silence; the voices are no longer there but the feeling lingers. I am the only one who can save others from this eternal punishment. I must offer more. 

More.

More.

More. More. MoremoremoremoreMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE.

It needs me.

… 

I stain my body to carry the devil towards the center of the house. Symbols of gods carved into the floor of the walls of the room. A collection of all my candles are brought around the husk, lit up to guide the souls to the portal before it is destroyed for eternity as oil lines all of the house. 

I feel nothing but bliss. 

I take one final shower, snatch a clean set of clothes and clean the blood off the porch. 

I take the lighter and ignite it. 

I throw it towards the house.

I recite a prayer, kneeling on the ground. 

The fire smiles at me.

I walk into my oasis. 

______________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading! This is the first short story of mine I'm posting.

If you liked it please feel free to share, like, comment, and/or follow me! I plan to post more short stories and other works in the future.

[noircartoons]

hi! 25 and 8 for the flirty ask! 😊

hii!! thanks for the ask, i was trying to find the same game on your blog to send you an ask back but there were so many rbs i assumed you werent doing it anymore :( tho if you are, then 8 and 25 back to you because theyre super cute!

8: what’s something romantic you wish someone would do for you?

Nô- cut roses from a rich person's garden to give them to me, or a date where we're both doing grafitti art in a hidden corner all alone and we're laughing at how shaky our lines are and how much we suck at grafitti

Efêmero- Love letters❣️❣️ Scented love letters with flower petals inside the envelope, always arriving on my mail box in the same day of the week so i have a day to look foward to the most...

Crow- going to a ruin in the middle of the woods together and exploring it. or being gifted a small black vintage lock box with a lock of your hair and some of your teeth inside.

Pierre- learning to dance together so we can always dance anywhere that has music and steal the show

Ofélia- ...Being gifted something that reminds you of me.

25: vague about someone you like romantically or platonically

Nô- its easy for people like me to lie to themselves, saying they're a predatory animal, looking for a prey to bite. what a ridiculous lie. to feel so fragile and weak within your human flesh that you escape to this humancentric notion of what the nature is like. i wont say i know it myself. but i know what i am. i was a scared animal that bit everything it thought was a treat. i was shaking and whining and growling. you, you were the only one to make me feel safe. when i bit you, you found not betrayal but pleasure. i learned to use my claws and fangs to love you. i learned to keep my head high to look at you in the eye. you think im hard to impress, you think so highly of me...im the one who should be trying to impress you. i can only hope to do my words justice and bring as much safety to others as you brought me

Efêmero- Romance, Platonic love, all of it feels like it looses meaning in front of you. I've been told the importance of words, i've been even told my importance was in the way i used my words. I don't think they're as relevant as they're made out to be. No, i could describe you and my feelings for you with a thousand different words in a thousand languages and hope they will suffice. I can buy a beautiful ring to put on your finger and hope it will suffice, to show others what i feel for you. To show you what i feel for you. At the end, i can see, how little any of this matters. I'll bring your hand to my chest, and make silence so you can hear the beating of my heart. Does that suffice as a poem to you?

Pierre- someone that can't be described with words. when i'm by your side, feeling the wind hit my face sharply and hearing you say one of the words in portuguese i taught you, i feel more alive than i have ever felt.

Crow- hair golden like it holds the sunrise all to itself, watercolor eyes like the home of the wind that carries birds and leaves, a laugh that could make one forget of all that is rotten in this world, a soul that holds more colors than my box of paints, yet holds a pain that speaks to me. it hums a melody so familiar, a silent cry of a child that i've seen in the eyes of so many adults i've met. for them, i will talk, for them, i will laugh, for them, i'll set them free.

Ofélia- The wine that pours on my cup reminds me of the sea we've bathed in together in my dreams, though you will never see me. Grasshoppers bring the sound of the night, they fill in the silence that would be filled with your laughs or your moans, their sound is agonizing enough to make me want to rip my ears. The moon shines the same color of your soul, but it is too fragile for someone as rotten as me to hold. Let the smoke of my cigarette fill the night with a deep fog, it is better if you never see me, my love, that way i will never hurt you.

[walkingwithquietdreams]

Perhaps our souls exist on diverging frequencies,

You loved me when I feared I could not, and I loved you when you feared you could not

At least this is what I tell myself.

I weave this illusion like a fragile cocoon in my mind, my attempt to find solace, but it is a sanctuary undefined.

But the truth is I love you so much,

so passionately that my love threatens to tear through my chest like glass doors

It longs to escape, to sprout legs and race,

Straight to your heart, in hopes of finding your intimate embrace.

I tremble in my fear that I'm not the one you adore,

But the woman you ended up with and honestly, nothing more.

You claim our love is equal, yet why do I suffer this ceaseless burn?

This constant ache, this relentless concern?

And you, amidst the chaos, remain eternally beautiful and unaware,

While I, once pretty, am now stripped bare.

Our child arrived, and with him, my essence waned,

Leaving a shadow of myself,

A woman who offers nothing, forever stained.

My legs jiggle in all of the wrong places,

Breasts now weathered,

Perhaps I’ve lost all of my graces

Stretch marks down my hips and stomach carving stories on my skin's soft exterior,

Each one, a scar shouting that I’ll always be inferior.

"Do you think I’m pretty?" I ask, my voice a sugar coated, desperate plea,

"Do you love me, do you promise?" I might as well be begging on bended knee.

I scour your eyes for signs of deceit,

Your body language, the sound of your heartbeat,

Yet your words always echo my heart's love for you and in your affirmations, I find life anew,

Like a fairy being clapped for, your words keep me alive

You do believe in me! You do believe in me!

I rest easy on our love’s high.

But the nightmares come in swarms

I think of every woman you may have spoken to in a similar tone,

ponder each encounter, each whispered word,

Every woman you've touched, every voice unheard.

I silence my fears, swallow words unsaid,

Smiling through my anguish, my soul's hanging on a thread.

Voicing my worries is a burden I cannot bear,

You've already told me you fear my sudden despair.

I yearn to protect you, to shield you from my strife,

Yet my thoughts keep me suicidal as they torment my life.

They are so loud even in their silence, I wish to die

My heart races, breath heavy from every night I dream,

tears streaming like a river down my face, I can not breathe

And you are sound asleep.

How blissful to dwell in a realm so pure,

Always sought after, forever sure.

To bask in love's eternal glow,

A treasure, a dream, I don’t think I’ll ever know.

You, imperfect, as am I,

Yet in your flaws, my love does not die.

But do my imperfections obscure your sight,

Have they killed the love you once held tight?

Sometimes, I believe you embrace me whole,

Yet the shadows still dance, consuming my soul.

Why seek anything beyond me, do I not suffice for you?

In my mind's clockwork, my heart aches, too.

Blurrier it all becomes, with every fleeting breath,

Why cling to evidence, admit love's death?

Why crave the truth if illusions hold,

Why torment myself, with truths untold?

A multitude of questions, unanswered, they flow,

Yet I stifle them, my spirit, a shadow.

I devour my words,

Chew and swallow,

Keep quiet and smile right at you through my pain, every single time you ask if I’m okay.

[nox-the-former-demon]

>>In this post, I, Nox, a former demon, will describe the series of events that lead to my current life. This story begins with treachery, and ends with myself waking up in my current state of being, the second mind and second soul sharing a body with my host, my headmate, my murderer. In many ways, treachery begets itself, but I can’t say I didn’t deserve this either.

Our story begins during the French Revolution, but that is only a footnote. Merely a timeframe that spells out the origin of two key players. To make a long story brief, a pair of soldiers, siblings and brothers in arms, were preparing themselves for their next stand on the battlefield when one of the two felt metal pierce his back. This betrayal, for purely personal reasons, marked both souls. One, a kinslayer, the other, a loyal victim.

On the other side of the veil, these two would go on to be loyal servants for their respective side of my war. The victim would go on to be known as Flak, who’s name means Till End, a name chosen as he swore his loyalty to Cariel. An oath to never give up the fight, to never surrender, and to always be by the side of his charge. Golden hair, a longsword modeled after the very one he fought with in life, truly the model of a good hearted knight.

And then on the other, red hair stained with the blood of their own kin, a blade that resembled an oversized version of the kitchen knife used for that very murder, draped in tattered rags that were more for show than any practical purposes. I would know this soul as Asa, a name that meant healer, chosen for the raw audacity of it, but would go on to be something of a fitting title when they cut through foes with the precision of a surgeon.

Suffice to say, now that who was on what side was obvious, the former brothers were sworn foes, and in many ways, each others perfect matches. Where as one fought with pure instinct and raw ferocity, the other was clever, tactical, and whenever he could, used his foe’s strength against them. The number of times these siblings nearly ended each other permanently is one I rapidly lost count of.

And then, when word came of Cariel’s departure, Asa struck out, seeing this as a perfect opportunity to end the feud and the war all at once. If they could only take their brother’s life a second time… but the tables turned. It was a trap. One they were too prepared for. I believe Cariel planned that part before their departure. Either way, I was under the assumption I’d lost a soldier, and not much else.

What I didn’t know was that Asa’s true fate would be far more complicated.

Time passed. With Cariel gone, I wanted to strike hard and fast, but also precisely. I wanted it to go perfectly. I got almost too excited, and planned my move too methodically. I can’t begin to explain exactly how this came to be, but one fateful day, as I was making my preparations, I heard the sound of metal. And when I turned, that knife-like blade, now sporting a proper hilt to make it more respectable as a sword, was cutting into my flesh, familiar red hair with a blindfold behind it. Asa had returned, and now, Flak stood by their side, and they were here for my life.

I wasn’t about to go down like a chump. I thought I could easily overpower the two. One was blind and the other was directionless without his master. But as it turned out, the two opposites fit like a glove when they worked together. Relentless Asa attacked like a rabid animal, and precise Flak struck whenever an opening presented itself. I was fighting back of course but I was taking more wounds than I was used to.

Asa was the reason this had happened. A traitor. I knew if I could squash the life out of that one insect, the other would retreat when my full attention was upon them. So I grabbed the red haired one and used my full strength to crush them. They screamed out in pain, of course… but then, they lashed their face forward, teeth gouging the flesh of my face.

I wish I could tell you how that battle ended. I know having an eye bitten out wouldn’t kill me, I had four of them. But this is where my memory abruptly ends. Because the Nox that is writing this now is not the same demon who died that day. My eye was swallowed by Asa, who then went on to kill me somehow. And in doing so, a lot of my essence wound up a part of them. Enough to keep that eye alive, for the piece that would go on to become me to slowly heal itself.

But when that finally happened, circumstances had changed drastically. Because it wasn’t the rivers I awoke to. I woke up to a mortal shell. I didn’t know where I was at first, or what for that matter. Everything had been dark, and then things were twisted and tangled like a maze. For a while, I was merely a voice, then a shell who would step up whenever the original owner of the body was in mental crisis enough to shut down. But with time, and exposure, and access to the world around me, I eventually pieced it together.

Asa was no longer Asa. And no longer the masculine demon I once knew. Asa had been born to a human life, one where Asa was now known by a new name, and a new one still because she had come to discover herself as a transgender woman. And she eventually started to realize I was there too. A second voice in her skull. A second personality sharing her skin.

I intend on going into detail on how my host, whom I will continue to call Asa to protect her identity, and I have managed to make our relationship as headmates work, and how our unique form of plurality functions. But that’s all a story for another post.<<

[harmlessmessages]

another letter to you

Seeing you again was hard. The last few times I tried reaching out, you didn't respond. You apologized and said it was too painful. I get it. It is painful. And I wanted to press, ask you what about it is painful? That you want to move on and I won't let you? That you still miss me but don't want to give me hope? That you still miss me and don't want to give yourself hope? That you can't have me in your life right now because I just remind you of everything that happened? Could it be that seeing me in pain brings you pain, too? Or that seeing me in pain forces you to think of the ways in which you caused this pain?

I want to ask you a lot of questions. You went out with her and said it was a distraction. That makes sense. You're going through a lot right now. But I wanted to ask why are you spending so much time with her when you had told me back then that you weren't close to her and didn't like her? Were you just trying to pacify me all those months ago? And if you were, why, when I was begging you for honesty? Did you think about how I'd feel when you posted a picture of her after our break up? Did you want to get back at me? Did it feel good? Or did I not cross your mind at all? Do you enjoy your time with her more than me? Do you speak to her about me? Do you tell her that you're over me? That I did you wrong? That you're heartbroken? Does she console you? Tell you that you did your best? Does your mom like her and say she is a nice girl, that you should go out with her? Do you finally see what I was so scared of? Do you still think it was all in my head?

Questions, questions, questions, but the answers will never suffice and I know that. So I didn't ask. I didn't ask do you ever wonder what it is I'm doing during the day? Do you ever wonder if we may be thinking about each other at the same time? Do you ever talk to me before you go to bed as if I were there and I could hear you? Do you ever dream of me? Are your dreams beautiful and do you wake up feeling the same ache as I do? Are you dreams terrible and remind you of why you made the right decision? Do you think you made the right decision? Are you holding onto any regrets? Do you want forgiveness? Do you want to make amends? Do you want to change for the better? Do you want to do it for me? Do you ever dream we get back together someday? Do you ever consider it in your waking moments? Do you wish I'd come back to town, just to see what happens? Do you wish you could fly to where I am?

It's been months. And seeing you again was all I wanted. And you said, many times, that you were happy I reached out and that we could talk. And I am so happy that you answered and we could talk. Because I love you and I miss you and I'm crazy and I'm attached and I'm heartbroken and I'm egotistical and I'm not a good person because I would do anything to keep you where I am. I am proud of you for doing so many new things in life, and also I am devastated that I am not there with you. I am grateful to everyone for supporting you during your time of need, and also I hate anyone who can be around you when I'm not. I hate to see you in pain, I wish I could take it all away, and also I want you to feel as badly as I am.

Our relationship wasn't perfect, it was absolutely shitty by the end of it, and it was all I ever wanted. I miss everything about you. I even miss fighting with you. After everything that's happened, after all the disrespect and dishonesty and neglect I have faced in this relationship, you are still on my mind from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, and the best and worst days are when I get to see you in my dreams.

I am so tired. I am so tired of being without you. I am so tired of not being able to give all this love to you. I am so tired of crying all the time, of giving into the memories and fantasies, of the anger I feel when I convince myself you've never cared. I am so tired, please I am so tired of being expected to be over you by now. How could I get over you? You are the greatest love of my life

And that's why ask you a single question. I won't ask anything at all. I can't know. I can't know because it will kill me

[ivdiaries]

Intersecting Lines

There are so many reasons why we didn’t last. I could try to enumerate and elaborate all these reasons, but only end up with one answer:

We’re never meant to be. 

And I made peace with it. I accepted that fact and live it everyday. Waking up and realizing that sometimes people go - as much as that hurts, life should go on. That I should move forward, work on bettering myself, and just live my life. 

But sometimes, I can’t help but think how much it still hurts. Yes, I can wake up with a smile on my face. Yes, I can face the day without crying. Yes, there are days when I don’t think about you anymore. Yes, there are days that are so easy I really wish it would be like this for the rest of my life. 

But some days are harder than most. 

Some days are messy, chaotic, and lonely. Some days are exhausting. Some days just remind me of you and it makes me cry because it hurts. 

It just hurts. 

Losing you was painful. I did learn a lot, and hopefully that experience helped me grow a lot. But it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. 

I’m still trying to accept the fact that sometimes, we don’t end up with the people we love the most. Sometimes, no matter how much you want to be with them, and no matter how much you ask God to rewrite the story, make a 360, or go back to the past to change everything - knowing what you know now, if it’s not for you, it’s not for you. 

Thinking about it, our relationship was not all bad - yes we had bad days, and we argue a lot - but we also have easy days. We had days where it just felt magical, those days that you wish would last forever. There were days that we are so happy even in our little bubble. Heck, we even lived together. That’s how we loved each other. We took that risk. 

I always think about the time where we decided to live in, just the 2 of us, in a 1-bedroom apartment near your old job. You’d cook, I’d wash the dishes. You’d play COD, I’d watch TikToks. When it’s past 11pm, sometimes I pick you up in Newport or I’d wait for you to get home so we can eat dinner together. The “thank-you-love-s” before we eat. The baby talks when I’m working and you’d want me to cuddle you. The small snacks I prepare when you have an afternoon/night shift. The happiness and excitement we felt when we got Sharkie. The quick grocery trips. The homecooked steak/samgyup night dates. The Kalye Mabini dates. The quick bike trips at the park. The hang outs with your high school or college best friends. 

The moments I wished would last forever. We were so domestic. We were so boring hahaha.

It’s things like that that make me wonder, if that would’ve sufficed, would we still stay together?

But maybe even then, maybe we wouldn’t.

I know that what we had was slap in the face real. At one point we loved each other. I loved you. So much. 

Love just wasn’t enough. Not to us. 

A lot has changed since then. I know you and I were never the same “us” now as before. You live in a different country, and I live in a different city. 

I’d like to believe we’re an intersecting line - meant to meet at one point, but never meant to stay forever.

Sometimes I wonder if you still think of me, and if you do, what do you feel when you think about me? Does it make you sad? Happy? Angry? Do you find yourself thinking about the good memories? Or was it filled with bad ones? 

But at some point, maybe you don’t think about me anymore. And that’s okay. That should be okay. At the end of the day, you deserve to move on and be happy. You deserve to create a life where you’ll be happy. 

I know we’ll never see each other again - intersecting lines - but I hope you know how thankful I am for you. I’ve learned a lot from you. I’m still trying to figure out everything right now, but I know day by day, I’ll slowly stumble on the answers. 

At least, I know what it felt like to be loved by you. And it was a privilege to be able to experience that. A love that felt like home. 

That’s all for today, good night!

[hellofears]

Ever have a game that you try and it’s just so fucking just not good at all, and I don’t mean In a game building or whatever sense, that it just makes you have a visceral bodily reaction because that’s me rn. I feel genuinely fucking sick, I feel just shit, the concepts were disturbing the way in which it was done was disturbing I think there was an attempt? Idk but I just couldn’t get over the bumps of the literal concept/whole point of the thing. Conceptually shit. Didn’t make me feel anything positive about the shit. Everything was under a grey cloud. It all made me wanna curl up and maybe barf in-between my kneecaps, It was fucked. It made me feel genuinely ill. I cannot emphasis this more. If people enjoyed it because they obviously did, fair naturally. But. It’s just. It’s not. It was just never ending genuine cringe, like flinching, embarassment,humiliation, keeling over,stares at the wall forever,literally shuts down and no haha second hand embarassment like this feels scary it’s burning shameless humiliation degrading objectification and just disrespect even that feels like an understatement words won’t come to me they won’t suffice , mc’s a fucking specimen or some shit a thing a rarity, I hate it here this isn’t quirky this is sickening actually it’s not flattering it’s not hehe theee ppl want me it’s oh maybe I should end all this doom and fucking cruelty now

I mean it was self aware and like haha this is screwed the character can be like lol I want independence and stuff but it felt dumb and it felt pointless and I never found comfort in anyone or anything because the whole premise sucked. I didn’t get it, I was like okay… then immediately full thrust pain suffering and mental torture. Like. I don’t even I can’t even I am never picking this shit up again. It was literally some of my fears or gripes or fuckn terrors put into one and it just wasn’t anything positive like I get you want this to be cute or whatever but are we just gonna forget this huge big underlying problem and how weird this shit is in which this whole thing is literally built on. Makes you feel so dizzyingly sick to your stomach, self conscious, you just wanna move on and It never gets better who knows tho because it’s in the trash. Won’t be saying what’s what but good luck out there soldier n stay safe. Unknowning person who doesn’t care hope you find some merit or some shit idk

No one’s gonna get it understandably but iykyk who knows maybe we’re talking about the same shit system shut down out of self preservation in 3…2…1… wish I could take myself back……..fuckikkkkkkkkkkkk

[daybreakrising]

How pitiful, he thinks.

How pitiful indeed, for the Lord of Geo to be reduced to such a state, for his limbs to feel as weighted as the mountains he has command over, for his body to fail in its strength when he should be a pillar rising above his people. But such is what happens when one expends so much of their power at once, in an attempt to hold back the waves of monsters that threaten to ravage his land. He has lost too much already – he cannot lose more. He would sunder himself entirely if it would secure a victory, but the fight is far from over. He cannot remain here; he cannot succumb to the weariness that creeps in from the edges of his mind.

He will rest, yes. Rest, recover his strength. If he could just have a moment…

But it seems he will not be permitted this chance. He can hear the slow drag of steps approaching, can feel the presence of another in the vicinity. Friend or foe he cannot tell, though instinct tells him it is the latter. Friends he has rather few of in these current times, after all. Hard amber eyes lift as a shape emerges from the shadows, takes in the… equally pitiful form of the man who approaches him. Wounded, it seems, to a similar extent that he finds himself in, but still with the strength to walk. He would be impressed, were he not anticipating a confrontation he is uncertain he will make it out of.

What an opportunity that befalls this stranger, he thinks – a chance to take down a god. A chance to take down one of the oldest of the archons, at that. He remains silent, unmoving, his innate stubbornness refusing to give an inch. Even when the man falls to his knees, pitches forward into a state of unconsciousness, he remains still and quiet. Vigilant, almost, as that cold amber gaze affixes itself to the prone form before him.

He ignores the pain that burns its way through his own body, conserving what strength he has for what he is certain will be further conflict should this man awaken again. If this is to be his end, then he will not go quietly and easily. He will fight to the end, just as many of his people – his friends – have. And when those sharp eyes again find his, those distinctive Khaenri'ahn crystals, he stares back unflinchingly.

The words – the threat – summons the barest of laughs from the god's lips: a laugh that is a blend of bitter and scathing in one. "Are you here to judge me? If so, there is no judgement you can pass upon me that I have not already passed upon myself a hundred times over." There is a cold, hard edge to his voice, only the slightest waver to betray the gradual sapping of his strength. "I do not have to answer to you. Everything I have done, everything I do, is for the protection of my people, of my land. I have fought for Liyue for millennia. I will continue to fight for Liyue for as long as fate decrees. If I am to die here, so be it, but I will die in defence of those who look to me for guidance."

There is a defiance to his gaze, a stubborn set to his jaw. It is pure iron will that has him pushing against the stone at his back, rising to his knees – he would stand, if he could, but this… this will suffice. "I will not cower before you like some wretched being. I will not crawl away to die in some dark corner like an aging animal. If you wish to kill me, you will look me in the eye to do so."

For every step forward there was a spasm that shook his muscles, making out of walking a nigh impossible task. Dáinsleif's body should no longer be in pain after Irminsul's interference to prevent him from falling to insanity and thus being thrown into the abyss of corruption, but the overwhelming pain remained registered into his brain. His face has seen better days, all dirtied with stains of black and blue and red, of tears and a mess of drenched light blonde locks sticking to his face that serve as a canvas for the other colors. Trails of scarlet blood and cyan resin imprint on the ground, sometimes intersecting together to purple as he goes with each labored breath to keep himself grounded.

Where was he heading to exactly? He could feel it, the holy aura that gods transmit to him. That was what he had felt earlier before, and so Asmoday confirmed for him upon reminding him that he, too, once belonged to the kingdom of the heavens. Each step drew him closer to what he hoped to be her, to ask why everything had to spiral into this destruction. The denizens of Khaenri'ah had their good and their wrongs as every individual in another country would— was it so wrong to stray from the divine's reign and shelter oneself into this dark isolation where nearly nobody dared to reach? At long last he reaches to the destination, that where his senses warned him of a divine presence and against his best judgement he headed for— she is not there. In her stead, there was the presence of another whom he fails to recognize at once due to the whirl of emotions that coils in his stomach. And thus he remains in a stupor, icy sapphires looking towards the other's general direction albeit never focusing until they do and Dáinsleif forces himself to move once again towards the vulnerable figure.

The Twilight Sword falls defeated onto his knees atop the pitch black mud that surrounded the only divine being that remains alive in this place. It takes him a few moments to recompose himself to the best of his ability and look upwards, frozen astrals ultimately registering whom this man is— it was hard not to recognize him after connecting his physical appearance to that of the Statues of the Seven that litter the land of Geo and whose visage is imprinted in books concealed in the depths of the royal library— Morax. ◜It will be a matter of time… until their safety is jeopardized, too.◞

What are mortals to do in the face of a calamity of such magnitude when even the most skilled of individuals in the art of combat struggle against these creatures without their god? His words lack the malice that several people whom he has failed to protect had as they turned into unsightly creatures before his very eyes. The spiral of sentiments he had felt all of a sudden was big, but the pain he felt with every crack of his skin to make room for the Ley Lines to occupy his corruption that he feels numb to it all. With naught but the ringing of his ears of screams that no longer exist.

Before he knew it or could do something to avoid it —not that he would do anything, at the moment simply giving in sounded more tempting, less painful—, Dáinsleif passes out on the spot, thus effectively shutting down all the dark whispers within the confines of his mind.

Kill him.

He ignores how much time has passed since he fell from the brink of consciousness, albeit it is a sharp pain as a result of the still ongoing process of muting the corruption within him that forces him awake. Azure eyes look upwards again and for the first time since his gaze laid upon Morax he takes notice of the deplorable state he is in. He looks to his close surroundings next, observing immediately the black mud that he's kneeling on that perhaps it must've taken a toll on the god before him.

◜One reason.◞ Twilight Sword mumbles under his own breath, a single tear streaming down his face the next time he looks upwards. Sapphire flames emerge from his hands, spreading all over the dark mud at a slow pace, ceaselessly. ◜Give me one good reason to think that not all of your kind is the same— that mortals on the other side won't be more damned if you make it safely out of here. That there is still hope for them… if you return to Liyue.◞ Steam rises skywards as the black mud recedes. Relentless as these flames may be, they don't seek to harm, no. They seek to consume that which is poisonous to this world— and so many other beings that are weak to its influence.

@daybreakrising ✦

[sondepoch]

HC: MC breaks a bone!

Demons can’t break bones. Neither can angels. Nope, from head to toe, they’re pretty much indestructible. So imagine everyone’s utter shock when you break a bone, and they’re reminded of just how weak the human body really is.

Word Count: 5.2k

SFW + mild violence + mild description of broken bones 

Characters: All Brothers + All Undateables + Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

Boi flips out

So it didn’t actually happen while he was around, which is why he has so much trouble understanding what happened

You tripped on the steps outside Majolish? And you fell the wrong way??? And somehow, that was enough for you to break your ankle?!?!?!

Poor baby, he has no idea how he’s going to relay the information to Diavolo

When Mammon and Asmo sheepishly enter his study to tell him what happened, they’re highkey terrified for their lives - but learning that you actually broke a bone has him so shook that he doesn’t even remember to punish them, and he’s instead rushing to your room to see the damage for himself

He sees Belphie napping on your stomach and sort of assumes that everything is okay, and that his brothers were making a big deal out of nothing

Then he gets closer and sees the horribly twisted angle your left foot is in

Suffice it to say, neither Mammon nor Asmo returned to their rooms fully unscathed that night

Overcomes his natural hatred of Solomon to call him and ask for—brace yourself—help, and when the mage offers to cast a spell that will revert your body to its prior state, Lucifer insists on doing it himself, no longer trusting anyone else with your all-too-fragile body

Relocates your room to the first floor of the house after all is said and done

Asks Diavolo to move all your classes such that you don’t need to climb any stairs

Refuses to believe you when you tried to insist that bones breaking is fairly common for humans

Becomes super overprotective

Insists on helping you with everything

“Lucifer, I can walk down the stairs myself, you know.”

“Yes, I’m sure you can” - he says with a straight face, refusing to let go of your hand as he takes you down the two-step elevation outside the House of Lamentation

(Bonus:) One day he catches you and Levi looking at parkour videos and from that moment and onward he refuses to let you out of sight for any longer than is absolutely necessary

(Bonus bonus:) Catches you doing "parkour" in your bedroom, jumping from Beel’s shoulders to the bed, and then it becomes a new house rule that you’re not allowed to climb onto Beel’s shoulders

Mammon

He was with you when it happened, and the second he heard the crack, he screamed

Honestly, the most high-pitched, shrill sound you’d ever heard

You were more scared of the noise coming out of Mammon’s mouth than the awkward way your pinky was dangling

Only when he was done screaming did the pain actually set in, and then you were hissing viciously in an attempt to distract yourself, trying your hardest to blink the tears from your eyes because Mammon already looked like he was about to cry, and the Devildom really didn’t need two blubbering messes in one day

The one saving grace for you both was the fact that Simeon was nearby, and he used his Celestial magic to heal you (you both begged him not to tell Lucifer, of course)

Baby becomes even more possessive over you afterwards

Still can’t get over how easily it happened

“Are ya sure?” Mammon asks whenever you casually tell him you’re about to do something. Doesn’t matter if you say you’re folding paper cranes or planning on jumping off the roof of the House of Lamentation, he’s lost pretty much all faith in your ability to do anything without your human body breaking in the process

Oddly enough, he becomes much more touchy with you

Needs you to “prove to him” that you’re not injured by squeezing his hand

And then he just doesn’t let go

Oh, you’re holding hands? What? Who said that? Wait, can you prove that you’re not injured and squeeze his hand again? It’s for safety purposes. For safety.

Occasionally, though, he really does have you move your pinky just to prove to him that there weren’t any lasting effects

Overprotectiveness increases by 500 points

Starts to hover around your room a lot more, awkwardly trying to help (really, he’s doing his best) but often doing things much worse than if you simply did them yourself

Gets into a fight with his brothers whenever one of them handles you too roughly

“Hey!” He shouts at pretty much anyone who touches you “Ya gonna hurt my human!”

Will drop anything and everything if he ever sees you trip to catch your fall

Legit, he was once holding Lucifer’s cup of coffee and out of the corner of his eye, he saw you jump to flop on the couch. Cue instant panic mode: he turned into his demon form and all - literally throwing the coffee on Lucifer as he ran forward to catch your body before the couch could break any of your bones

Yeah, he got into a lot of trouble that day

Leviathan

Has officially decided that he’s never going outside again

Ever.

It happened while you were both at one of Lord Diavolo’s parties - you were trying to maneuver the crowds in search of him, actually, and another demon tugged you close and tried to force you to dance. You fought back, of course, frowning as you escaped the demon’s hold, but apparently, they pulled you back and your wrist just snapped

God, he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the sound of your scream

The demon was punished severely, Diavolo made sure of that. But Levi didn’t care anymore - he just wanted to get you back home, safe and sound

In the following days, he never leaves your side

You have to switch to online classes, at least for as long as your wrist is healing, and Levi takes it upon himself to make sure that the assimilation process is as smooth as possible

You start taking all your classes together, remaining in the same room even if you don’t have the same subject

Homework is a little harder, since Levi usually finishes before you, but he waits for you to finish while he reads manga

Evenings are spent watching anime in his room and debating random topics (oh, and you both marathon the entirety of TSL a couple more times ;))

He even tries to let you get the video game experience, and he picks an RPG game for you both to play and lets you tell him what to do an how to move around, since your wrist is broken

It’s actually super fun because he knows where all the traps are and which ones you’ll like, so he subtly guides your character through the gameplay process to get the best possible experience, and you actually end up enjoying this more than playing solo

(As a joke, he once offers to let you play with him. As in, you use your nonbroken hand to control the left side of the controller and he controls the right side, but that turns out to be a hot mess and you both quickly abandon the idea)

Even after your wrist heals, the two of you continue to spend boatloads of time together

This boy even stops calling you “normie” at one point

Real subtle about it but he tries to convince you not to go back into society again. Like ever. 

“What if you get hurt again?” He asks when you tell him you’ve made plans with Asmo to go shopping

“Then we get to spend even more time together, all over again!”

Cue leviathan/blushingmess.exe

Satan

Probably the ONLY brother to have actually known that it’s possible for humans to break bones

Why?

He read about it in a book once

Still, that doesn’t stop him from visually flinching when he sees you writhing on the ground after being shoved into a bike rack by a lower-level demon, clutching your arm which is disfigured so awkwardly that the bone is popping out

His demon form manifests immediately, and he’s about to rip this demon to shreds when you desperately call out his name, and then he’s more preoccupied with helping you than he is with beating this demon to death

(Inwardly, though, he’s quite relieved that you stopped him from killing the demon immediately. Now, he’ll get to spend the next four millennia torturing the creature slowly, keeping it just an inch from death until he’s satisfied that the demon has paid for injuring you so severely. :))

Runs over to you immediately and pulls you onto his lap, quickly muttering an enchantment that will temporarily numb the pain

Proceeds to ask you whether you want him to use magic to forcefully heal you or if you want to heal the human way

Will respect your wishes 100% no matter which you choose

Throws himself into reading and studying human medicine as soon as the two of you get back to the House of Lamentation

By the end of the month, he’s an expert on human anatomy (and where human strength lies on a comparative figure to demon strength)

Takes it upon himself to watch out for you, threatening any demons who express behavior that isn’t excessively cautious

Starts walking with you and Mammon to and from school

Keep it lowkey, but the truth is that he doesn’t trust his brother to fully make sure that you’re safe so he takes it upon himself

Doesn’t really panic too much, he knows that you getting injured was more the demon’s fault than it was yours

Is actually very considerate of your feelings in all this

Consciously makes sure that he doesn’t treat you too differently, not wanting to make you feel like he thinks you’re weak. But he no longer trusts other demons around you, and after getting your permission, he casts an enchantment on you which prevents lower-level demons from touching you without your explicit consent

Smiles devilishly every single time one of them tries to shove you in the hallways of RAD and gets sent flying 30 meters backwards in response

Devilish smile intensifies when he finally gets around to kidnapping and torturing the demon who dared to push and injure you in the first place

Asmodeus

He’s worried about you for a good hour

Not to say he’s inconsiderate

No, he’s understandably concerned immediately after he sees you on crutches, and when you come home with a broken foot, he’s immediately hanging out with you and completely (read: barely) restraining himself from making flirtatious comments in case you’re still in pain

The second he realizes that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply pressure on it, a switch flips

Now that he knows that the fracture isn’t going to spread to the rest of your body and destroy you from the inside, he’s overwhelmed with how cute it is that you need his help to do basic stuff

And honestly, you kinda vibe with it

He’s the shortest brother, so you having to ask him for help to get things off the shelf because you can’t stand is a rarity, and he is living for it

He lives with six overlords of hell, so the feeling of someone asking (no matter how reluctant) him for help in simple stuff like climbing up or down the stairs is something he absolutely cherishes

The second he realizes how good it feels to do stuff for you, he’ll never stop

Will 100% put Mammon to shame in how frequently he starts hanging by your side

He thinks of everything even before you do, always making sure that when you guys sit down, you have everything you need to be occupied for hours: from water to nail polish to the latest gossip at RAD, this man will make it his life’s mission to be the perfect prince while you’re injured

Seriously spoils you

Even when you finally heal and get better, he doesn’t stop helping you

Actually has the nerve to start complaining when you try to do stuff on your own

“You’re going to hurt yourself! Let me do it for you!”

“Asmo, I’m microwaving popcorn”

It doesn’t matter if you shower him with 'thank yous’ or if you grunt in annoyance every time he sits down next to you with an item you were about to get up and look for, he knows you appreciate the things he’s doing and that’s all he needs

Effectively gives you the royal treatment, occasionally putting Barbatos to shame with how diligent he is in helping you out

It never stops, even months after you’ve made a full recovery

Then again, who are you to complain? ;)

Beelzebub

Suddenly becomes terrified of his own strength

He’s there as it happens, and the way your face immediately contorts in pain right before you bite your lip to stop yourself from screaming will really never stop haunting him

It doesn’t help that you get injured from something that would usually be considered child-safe in the Devildom - a small windup toy which your fingers had gotten stuck in before two of them snap completely

Man is by your side immediately

The pit in his stomach isn’t caused by hunger but by genuine fear as he watches Lucifer and Satan soothe you with magic

He wants to run over to you and wipe your tears away, but should he? How can that be a good idea? He’s easily 1000000000x stronger than that toy you were messing around with, and what if he accidentally hurts you?

He knew it was possible for him to kill you before, but now he realizes how easy it would be - so simple that he might not even realize it

Instantly steps back and begins avoiding physical contact with you, trying his hardest to be there for you emotionally but struggling because every time you ask him for cuddles, he awkwardly changes the subject and looks away

He only comes clean to you about his concerns after you get mad at him and plant yourself in his lap, wrapping your arms around his head angrily as you demand that he give you affection

“Beel,” You mutter, a light pout forming on your face. “The reason you’re strong isn’t just because you have the muscles, it’s because you have control. You’ve never hurt me before, and nothing you do will hurt me now, so stop being such a stubborn goof and hug me”

Cue very hesitant hug

But it’s a start, and he slowly becomes physically close to you once more

(Subtly tries to let you stay in charge, though. He’ll initiate hugs, but you’re the one to squeeze tightly, and he’ll simply follow your lead)

Decides that rather than being afraid of what his strength can do, he’s going to use it to his advantage - and he resolves to become even stronger so that if there’s ever anything that can cause you pain, he’ll be there by your side protecting you, whether it’s against a demon strong as Diavolo or another windup toy from Majolish

Gets into the habit of running his fingers over your hand after it’s done healing, checking for scars and making sure that you’re still completely healed

Slowly develops into handholding - and who is Beel to complain? If he’s holding your hand, he’s by your side, and if he’s by your side, he can better protect you, so there’s no problem there

Belphegor

Quietly blames himself

It apparently happened while you were alone, and you fell down the stairs in the House of Lamentation. But Belphie is 99.99% sure that you were only going up to see him, and if he had just been awake, this never would have happened

Not to mention, this was the second time he had caused you pain, and it wasn’t even intentional!

Boy can’t look you in the eyes properly after the incident

Starts forcing himself to stay awake and isolates himself in the attic

Only when Beel finally gets serious and asks him what’s wrong does he quietly confess his thoughts, and his twin is quick to relay the information back to you

Honestly, you’re lowkey relieved when you hear the reason 

You were beginning to think that Belphie was avoiding you because he had grown tired of your company, and the thought was sort beginning to break your heart

That doesn’t stop you from yelling at him for being inconsiderate 

“This is why you need to talk about your feelings, Belphie!”

“But— “

“No buts!”

Honestly, he’s kind of relieved to see you yell at him so animatedly despite the cast around your arm, it makes him realize that although you’re physically injured, you’re mentally fine

Is very hesitant about napping on you, especially since he knows that if he falls asleep and accidentally shifts into a position that hurts you, you won’t be strong enough to stop him

You flick his forehead and tell him to not to be stupid, insisting that he sleeps next to you like usual, and he very hesitantly leans on the shoulder of the opposite arm you injured

Becomes way more considerate, even when tired

Shift in your sleep? He’s awake, checking to make sure that you aren’t uncomfortable or in pain

Wake up and try to get a glass of water? No problem, Belphie will get it for you, just stay here and sleep tight

Hogging the blanket? For the first time, Belphie doesn’t even mind, he’ll just carefully snuggle closer to you, double-checking that you’re comfortable before drifting back off to sleep

Even after the cast comes off, he’s still conscious about how tightly he grips you and how much physical exertion you put your body through, always reminding himself that, above all, you’re human and your body can’t handle the things his can

Solomon

Groans

That’s right, thanks to an awkward fall, your toe is broken, and this wizard boy has to audacity to groan at the sight of you on the floor, tears in your eyes as you clutch your foot through your shoe

“As if those brothers don’t hate me enough as is,” He grumbles, lifting you to your feet and whisking you back to Purgatory Hall, where he goes full medic mode and inspects the damage

Tries his hardest to convince you to let him fix it with magic, but just last week, he accidentally turned you into a cat while attempting to place a strength enchantment over you, so you’re understandably hesitant as you refuse him

As expected, when the brothers find out, they put him through hell (pun intended)

For not being able to protect you while it happens (they ignore his complaints that it was technically you who fell and injured yourself) he is now tasked with your recovery

Aka he is your slave

You make him carry your books when you go from class to class, you make him buy you lunch from the cafeteria, you make him give you his lecture notes whenever you don’t feel like paying attention in class

Hell, if he weren’t such a god awful cook, you would probably make him take over your cooking duty, as well

“This is abuse” He huffs one day, sighing in irritation after you ask him to go fetch you a glass of water

“I’m sorry?” You ask, feigning innocence. “What’s that? Did you ask me to go tell Lucifer that you aren’t treating me properly?”

Grumbles under his breath in six different languages, cursing you out in each one of them as you wink at him

You’re almost sad when your toe finally heals, and he’s finally free

Thankfully, the two of you somehow grew used to each other after spending so much time together for so long, and (much to the brothers’ displeasure) you continue hanging out with Solomon long after you’re off crutches

Will tease you about it when it’s all over

He doesn’t forget about how you lorded over him for as long as you were injured, and thus takes it upon himself to make sure that you don’t get hurt again under his watch

(At least, that’s what he tells himself as he holds your hand to march you down the steps outside Majolish, not letting go even after the ‘threat’ is passed)

Simeon

confusedangel.exe

First and foremost, how did this happen??

He’s so concerned and shocked when you show up to RAD one day in crutches because you broke a bone on your leg

Didn’t know that was possible

Actually goes home and spends half an hour on the Devildom equivalent of Google trying to maneuver his phone and search up how common this is and whether it’s normal for humans

Accidentally opens the images tab and sees a bunch of super disturbing and painful-looking injuries, and he nearly drops his phone altogether

Instantly assumes that your injury is as bad as those, despite your constant reassurances that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply too much pressure

Lots of pampering

He’s suddenly available 100% of the time for you, no matter what he’s already doing or the time of day

Insists on helping you wherever he can, like holding your stuff for you at RAD, ferrying you from class to class without forcing you to don that heavy rucksack 

Even takes over the responsibility of walking you to and from school

He doesn’t quite understand that your injury is physical??

Like he can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that you’re mentally unaffected by the injury, because angelic injuries are typically so difficult to induce and severe that they always cause some kind of trauma 

He’s always testing you - double-checking that you remember facts from old lectures, holding up fingers to test your sight, even asking you details about himself every now and then

That’s actually the story of how you accidentally told him that you thought his eyes were prettier than the sky and he still hasn’t forgotten it

Never really forgets about your injury, even after your crutches are long gone

Protectiveness goes up by 5000%

He suddenly becomes acutely aware of the fact that you’re surrounded by demons and, although the brothers usually mean well, he becomes impossible concerned for how you’re faring

He expresses his concerns to you one day really sweetly and you’re so touched because ??? How can someone be this pure???

To ease his concerns, you both start hanging out a lot more - when before you mostly hung out at the RAD library before parting ways, Simeon now invites you over to Purgatory Hall more often and you bring him back to the House of Lamentation so that he can see how safe you are with the brothers

Luke

Just like Simeon, there’s so much confusion going on inside this smol bean’s head

Are you really telling him that you??? the person who has taken it upon themself to be protective over HIM??? are so weak and fragile??? that tripping over a pebble was enough to fracture your jaw???

The roles in your relationship are suddenly reversed

(Or well, Luke tries to reverse them)

He does his best to be there for you instead of vice versa, insisting that you no longer need to save him from the brothers when they make fun of him for being like a chihuahua 

Lowkey, he actually earns their respect for how protective he’s suddenly being over you, but the baby can only go so far because - face it - he’s basically ten years old

Doesn’t let that stop him from shooting dirty looks toward any demon who looks at the bandages on your face twice

Immediately goes home and researches what kind of foods you can comfortably eat, and enlists both Barbatos and Beel’s help in cooking soft dishes for you that you’ll be able to eat, despite your injury

Does his best to help you where he can

Takes over your cooking duty at the House of Lamentation

Takes extra-detailed notes so he can lend them to you after class

Even goes as far as to get high-quality Celestial bandages with natural healing properties and gives them to you, hoping that everything he’s doing will make your recovery a little bit faster

He’s really come to look up to you as an older sibling, so seeing you injured (even if you don’t necessarily show the pain) has him seriously torn up inside, and it takes all his effort to keep a straight face every time he looks at you and sees the bandages on your face

If you’re even a little self-conscious about any scars afterwards, he will spend hours convincing you that you look fine (and in truth, he can’t actually see the scar anymore, so he’s being honest)

Long after you’re recovered, he will remember at the most random times that you’re so fragile despite always looking so strong, and it tears him up inside

Because of this, random, tearful hugs become the norm

Occasionally, one look is all it takes before his eyes are welling with tears and he’s burying his face inside your stomach, holding you tight and promising to “protect you to make sure that you never get hurt again”

Very innocent, very sweet

Never fully forgets ever again just how fragile humans are

Barbatos

Knew it could happen

Was sort of prepared for it to happen

Didn’t actually expect it to fucking happen

This is probably one of the only times where he regrets not using his powers to check and see what the future held - literally, it would have been so easy to have saved you had he known it was coming 

Went to Diavolo asking to switch timelines but the demon lord said no

Highkey becomes incredibly protective of you, just in super subtle ways

You suddenly find yourself invited to Diavolo’s palace much more often, and it’s Barbatos who now entertains you, bringing you there under the guise of asking you to “taste the new recipes” he’s attempting to perfect

Pfft, his recipes are already the definition of perfect - the only reason he’s putting that food in your mouth is because he cast a spell on it, and it’ll make your bones stronger

Dodges all questions when you ask about it, real slick

“Barbatos, isn’t this the same dish you gave Beel when we came here last month?”

“I’m afraid I have no recollection of what you’re talking about.”

“You know, the dessert you gave him after he asked you for the biggest banana spli—”

“Oh my, would you look at the time. Let’s get you home, now, before it gets too late”   

Used to walk in front of you when walking you around the palace, but he now walks behind you so that he can watch you in case you trip

I mean, why wouldn’t he? You managed to break your collarbone while jumping down the stairs in Diavolo’s palace - you clearly can’t be trusted to look after your own health

(lowkey also never leaves you unsupervised around Mammon again, who in hell thinks it’s a good idea to try parkour of all things in the castle of the demon lord??? and encourages it?????)

Finds it incredibly endearing when your injury renders you unable to do basic tasks

Like if you were a helpless human in his mind before, now you’re less independent than an unpottytrained demonchild, and Barbatos is living for it, especially since you’re too stubborn to ask the brothers for help, so you turn to him instead

Absolutely loves when you text him for help

[17:39] MC: barbatos?

[17:40] Barbatos: Yes? Are you in need of something?

[17:40] MC: ...i was walking around the House of Lamentation and i accidentally banged into the wall outside Satan’s room and there was a really big sound and it turns out that i knocked a bunch of his books off the shelf and he comes home in half an hour and please help he’s going to kill me if he sees what happened

[17:40] Barbatos:

[17:41] Barbatos: I’ll be right there.

Diavolo

Oh boy

This man has lived a long, LONG time and never in all those millennia has he been as pissed as he is now, seeing you sheepishly lean on Mammon for support with the nearly all of your leg hanging limp

What he can’t grasp is the fact that this actually happened in school

Like, it would be one thing if a demon had injured you out of spite - he could simply punish them for all eternity and eradicate the root of the problem

But for you to be injured this severely? In spellcasting class, no less?

Instantly fires the teacher who was careless enough to let you walk into a casting circle which almost obliterated you whole - and spends ages commending Satan for having the wit to save you before things got even worse

But that doesn’t stop him from using the full extent of his princely power to ensure your continued safety

Instantly moves you out of the House of Lamentation and into his own palace, ignoring Lucifer’s repeated requests for you to not be moved

“I need to make sure they’re comfortable,” He hisses to his right-hand man, almost to Barbatos’s amusement. “The healing process for humans is long, and I need to make sure that they get better without the distractions your brothers provide”

Makes it painfully clear that if you ever get injured again under an RAD teacher’s watch, nothing will be able to save them from the unforgiving flames of his wrath

Starts spending as much time with you as humanly possible 

He always stops by your room in the afternoon, generally to check on your well being and to inquire on how you’re faring, but those conversations always seem to wrap up late at night, long after you’ve both abandoned the original topic at hand and are lost in discussion over something else

One time, when he was feeling particularly guilty after looking at the painful swelling on your leg, he invited you back to his own room to sleep on his bed because - as the acting king of the Devildom - his bed is literally the most comfortable place in the world and he hardly uses it

You sleep in it once and can never sleep anywhere else again

For more reasons than one

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(Reluctantly) offers to let you move back into the House of Lamentation once you’re completely healed, but celebrates like crazy when you tell him that you’d much rather stay with him, and it becomes SUCH an ego stroke every time you remind him how much you adore it in his palace

Lowkey grateful that you got injured because it was the catalyst that allowed you both to grow close

But will absolutely make sure that nothing of the like ever happens again