#I wish I could steal penguins

[originalusername3000]

[FOX NEWS] BREAKING: LIBERAL SECRETS UNCOVERED!!

The woke mob doesn’t want you to know this, but you can walk into the zoo and take the penguins home with you. None of the staff will stop you. The police can’t do anything.

[angelyuji]

dear diary

bruce wayne x reader (kinktober week 4)

tw // stalking, kidnapping, voyeurism, masturbation, pattinson!bruce is silly and a cutiepie

18+! minors dni!

november 1 : riddler’s floor has left the city a mess. i can barely hold on, helping the people affected and trying to understand what’s going on with penguin. i can’t focus.

november 5: you’re pretty. you were getting mugged when i came. you looked pretty as you cried, arms wrapped around my neck. i asked if you wanted me to escort you home and you nodded so cutely. you’re apartment was as cute as you, every decoration was an extension of you. you’re so pretty, (y/n).

november 8: i broke into your home when you were at work. i wanted to be closer to you, i want to know things about you no one else does. your apartment smells like you, the shampoo, the detergent, your perfume. i felt myself get overwhelmed as blood rushed down there. it’s hard to keep myself contained. for now, i’ll keep an eye on you. just in case.

november 15: you leave your windows wide open; you always do. you drop your bag on the couch and start your routine. crossing the date off on your calendar with a purple sharpie, you turn on your oven for a store-bought pizza and head to your room. you slowly undress in your bedroom, standing in front of the mirror and checking your face. i can see every curve, every mark on your body. you’re so beautiful. a car horn surprised the both of us, bringing me back to patrol and you start to pull on pajamas. i wish i could touch you, show you how beautiful you are. i’ll come visit tomorrow, to make sure you’re safe.

november 20: the city was restless as thanksgiving neared. i guess even the darkness in the city would panic as the holiday approached. i watched you restlessly flit through the apartment, setting up couches and beds. one moment you were in the living room, setting up coaches, and the next you were in the kitchen, mixing things in pots. i wish i was there with you, helping you, meeting your family… i need to keep my focus on gotham.

november 28: i told myself to leave you alone, but i managed to end up in front of your apartment once again. i’m sure alfred will laugh at me. i watch you with your family, smiling and laughing. i need to feel you. fuck, i need to clear my head.

december 13: i caught myself watching old recordings of you. just one glance at your bare skin and i can feel my resolve crumbling. i wish i could bring you here, so i could just stop thinking of you all the time.

december 20: i dreamt about you. it felt so real. i could feel your soft arms wrapped tightly around my neck as i plow into you, desperate and aching. i woke up hearing your moans in my head and my thighs sticky with my own cum. i felt like i was 13 again, cleaning the sheets while alfred slept. look at what you’re doing to me, (y/n).

december 24: i got careless. i thought i saw you and i got careless, stabbed in the side by a scared kid stealing from an atm. in the haze of blood-loss, i hadn’t realized where i ended up until i saw your eyes peering down at me. “shit.” i heard myself talk without realizing. your warm hands helped me up, and i felt a laugh bubbling out of me as you shoved me through the open window into your apartment. every noise you make is so cute, i barely registered the pain. i felt myself hit the floor when it all went dark.

december 25: the first words you said when i opened my eyes: “merry christmas!” you smile sheepishly, i could feel your hands fixing my bandages. i felt the cowl on my head, untouched, but somehow you had taken off my suit. “sorry, google told me to change them every couple hours, so i bought a bunch of supplies while you were… asleep.” you look away. i try to sit up and you help me settle in.

“why did you help me?” my voice sounded rough and you bring a cup of water to my lips. i drink from the cup, water spills down my chin and you use a hand to wipe it away. i feel my heart skip a beat at the loving touch.

you shrug, “you saved my life before. how could i leave gotham’s knight dying at my fire escape?” i feel a smile pull at my lips. every glance, every involuntary movement, every word, everything about you made my heart swell.

i couldn’t trust my words, so i hum. night comes quickly and you put on a movie, feeding me slowly. it was nice, it was everything i had dreamt of. you are everything i imagined and more… you’re perfect.

december 26: you woke up, confused and scared, screaming at me. i’m sure it’ll be hard at first, but with time, you’ll get used to your new home. alfred had disapproved at first, but he knows how happy you make me, how much more careful i’ll be. i won’t have to worry about you anymore, knowing you’re home with me forever.

[penkura]

I'm back with more traffy brainrot.

So I LOVE avatar the last airbender. I was thinking.

What'd happen if law met someone like toph?

Reader is blind. But can see through her feet, the thing is, she's strong on any land but HATES getting on ships because the only thing she sees is the ships interior not the outside which is the ocean, she fears with a little push she MIGHT fall over. Also, when they first met, reader may or may not play the "I'm sorry I'm blind" card and steal a hefty amount from the crew and running away faster than any of them combined lol.

I just imagine reader being innocent until she isn't lmao

I loooove Avatar omg, I still need to sit with my dad and finish the live action Netflix series, but the original series has a special place in my heart. I really liked this prompt, I hope I did it justice for you!!

“I’m sorry, I’m blind.”

Law should’ve realized right away that it would be an excuse the moment he met you. He feels a little stupid now, having you strapped to a chair in front of him and his crew, the very people who tried to be helpful but that you stole from. Shachi questions if you actually are blind, waving his hand in front of your face though you don’t make any movements that you can see his hand moving. Penguin rolls his eyes and tells him to stop, as Law simply sighs over the situation.

You thought it was okay, you thought you’d get away with everything you’d grabbed, you didn’t know what the half of it was. You just snatched whatever seemed valuable and booked it, not caring that there was a feeling of guilt as you ran off that stupid submarine and back onto dry land, at least then you could see everything. You hated that you could only see the inside of that submarine, you didn’t even really want to be there but had flirted enough with one of the crewmembers (poor Hakugan) to get on board, knowing they must have some treasure after hearing they were a pirate crew, especially hearing it was Trafalgar Law’s crew. Even you kept up with the rumors and gossip, you knew he had a decent bounty on him, even at just twenty-one years old.

Your only mistake was staying aboard too late and grabbing his sword as something to sell, of course he’d notice that.

You thought you were fast but somehow he caught up to you, it must be a Devil Fruit you realize quickly. No one on this island could keep up with you even with your visual impairment, Law having powers is the only thing that makes sense.

“Captain, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Hakugan,” Law sighs again while his friend hangs his head with a small nod, “If she hadn’t grabbed Kikoku, we wouldn’t have known she’d stolen anything really.”

You tilted your head with your brow furrowed, confused on what he must mean. You had grabbed a ton of things, hadn’t you?

“Yeah,” Penguin laughs, shaking his head, “Grabbing all those medical supplies was a stupid move.”

“Guess it’s not that obvious that our ship has such a big medical ward, huh?”

You feel like an idiot now, embarrassment flooding over you as you listen to them list off what you’d grabbed, apart from Kikoku. Bandages, cough medicine, various medicinal drugs. You though ‘surgeon of death’ was just a moniker, not that Law really is a doctor.

You really wish you would wake up from this nightmare in your bed, you’d completely ignore the people talking about a pirate crew docking at your home island and go about your day. Part of you thinks you should have done that anyway, even when Law dismisses the rest of his crew to speak to you alone.

He's quiet for a bit, just as you are, until he crouches in front of you and sets a hand on your shoulder.

“You wanna explain?”

“…I really am blind.”

“I know that, I don’t doubt your disability,” he’s not like Shachi, questioning your reality or anything, he’s just wondering what your plan was, “I’m talking about stealing from us. If you had known it was mainly medical supplies—”

“I wouldn’t have touched any of it. I wouldn’t have bothered…”

“…so why did you?”

“…you would too to keep your home.”

Ah that’s it, you’re trying to stay in your house. It must be rent or taxes, he’s not sure, but the way you hang your head makes Law start to think.

“No one wants to hire the blind orphan. I’m not worth—”

“I think Ikkaku would be glad to have a roommate. We’ll go get your stuff in the morning and—”

“What? What are you talking about?”

The way you lift and tilt your head, blinking while Law smiles to himself just a bit.

Kind of cute actually.

“You’ll come with us, as payment for trying to steal our supplies and my sword. In the morning, you’ll take us to where you live, we’ll pay what you owe, gather your stuff, and you’ll come with us.”

“Why would you…?”

Law pats your shoulder lightly, you’re not sure why but it gets to you so much you start to cry. He doesn’t even give you a reason, letting you get your feelings out, as you start to nod.

“O-Okay…okay…thank you…”

“You’re welcome.”

You’ll have to apologize to that Hakugan guy later for leading him on like that, but it seems you’ll have plenty of time for that.

[xxchaosjojoxx]

Hi :)

I have always loved law since his first appearance in the anime.

May I ask for a law x Reader but reader is an absolute GREAT at lying. Like they lie all the time and no one would know it was a lie due to specific things that aren't exactly related to the lie but was somehow a "proof" that it was believable. It even fooled Law himself.

Reader is always so happy, like always smiling and cheerful and everything. But with a really constructed lie, a smile isn't always real.

You get what I mean?

Most lies I was talking about was:

"I ate dinner" for example.

Reader didn't actually eat but can be proven to because 1, reader could have planned to "eat" later due to "work" when in reality, they just planned to go inside the lunch room for a few moments and made sure someone saw so they'd have an alibi.

So basically, it's based on alibis and statements that make said lie true.

A/N: Thanks so much for your request. I had an idea in my mind and suddenly it went dark/angst. I hope it is still to your liking and I’m not sure if I should do a second part to add some fluff like I had originally planned.

Lies

You were the sunshine on and inside the Polar Tang. With your bright smile, you could earn a lot of happy smiles and joyful words whenever you enter a room. No one would ever think that this was a facade. That all of this would be a lie. Even your captain would call anyone crazy who would think not of a bunch of sunshine whenever you are around.

Your skills as a thief back in the day are kinda handsy. You are quick and precise when it comes to battle. With your radiant presence and this bright smile paired with those big soft eyes it was easy to gain a lot of free supplies and goodies, whenever your duty was to go shopping. You joined the Heart pirates after stealing some things from Penguin and Shachi nearly 4 months ago. Sadly you couldn’t escape the blue orb nor the teleportation as this man, now your captain, Trafalgar Law was grabbing you with a smirk on his face. You had skill, this might come in handy for sure. That was his reason to let you join his crew. The fact that you would probably lose your head was not an option back there. He was intimidating but handsome. You would be a fool to not follow an attractive man.

The life you had back there was a life you wished to erase forever.

As a foster kid some adults used you for stealing. Kids are small, they can hide better, right?

Over the years you could perfect your stealing skills and one more skill. To lie. Whenever you trembled, whenever you where crying or doing not exactly what they told you, they would hurt you, torture you. You had to learn to lie, because you needed to survive. You had to lie to yourself, that all of this wouldn’t be your whole life. That you would find something better for sure someday. Then you met the heart pirates, they all welcomed you like a family. And even though you showed them your brightest smile, your happiest face, the loudest laugh, you were still aware of them. This is not real. They will use you when they get a chance. Don’t trust them. All of this was repeating in your head every now and then. No one knew what you were hiding because no one suspected anything.

The first time Law suspected something was not too long ago. He worked a lot today and went to the kitchen, to get a snack as he passed you. “You ok, y/n-ya? You look pale? Did you eat anything?”

You were looking at him, giving him a bright smile. “Hey Captain. Of course. I ate dinner already. I just ate too much, maybe that’s why.”

He looked at you with a stern look. “Ok don’t overwork yourself.”

“Aye aye Captain.” and with that you left him. Only after he entered the kitchen and saw the dish, he knew something was off.

Law saw Shachi and Penguin sitting at the table, talking and laughing. “Was Y/N in here?”

They looked at him. “Yeah, she just left with a plate in her hand. She has too much work to do, so she wanted to eat in her room.” The red haired said and Law tilted his head in confusion. “I just saw her, and she didn’t even have a plate in her hand.”

Bepo entered the kitchen from behind. “Oh she gave me the plate earlier. Said I should eat it. She had too much earlier and put way more on the plate for her to finish.”

“I see.” With this Law grabbed a snack and returned to his office with a bad feeling.

He was reading some paperwork as he took a bite from his snack. His mind was wandering back to you. It felt off. Did you really have dinner? The fact that you filled your plate with food and the fact why you didn’t have it when he met you earlier, it all was reasonable. But something was still weird. Would you lie to him? You had no reason for it. But remembering the food, he knew that Shachi was in charge of cooking today and he also knew that Shachi used some spices especially one you didn’t even like. There was no way you wouldn’t notice it and there was also no way that you would eat it to the point you would grab another plate. He hid his face in his hands and was remembering every situation with you in it since you joined. There was never an occasion that he would feel like this. Without even realizing he went towards the storage room, knowing you were on duty today, to write down what else you would need when you dock on the next island.

You stand there with a pencil and a little book in your hands, taking notes. As you felt his presence you turned around to see your captain and smiled at him. “Hey Captain. Can I help you with something?”

“Yeah, can you give me your hand for a second please? I need to confirm something.”

With a confused look you reached your right hand towards him, his warm hands were cupping your own and you could feel a light blush on your face.

“What exactly do you confirm?” You gulped and were looking at him.

“I thought I saw something earlier.” He had not enough time to think of anything clever.

“Do you feel better now? You know because of your second plate of food today.”

He had to concentrate on your heartbeat, on your pulse.

You were looking at him even more confused. “Yes, thank you.”

He squeezed your hand a little tighter. If people lie, their heartbeat, pulse and the breath would give them away, but everything was normal. Not even a slight change. But he knew that you didn’t have another plate. You gave it to Bepo. “Didn’t you give it to Bepo?”

He was staring at you. You felt a little shiver as he was staring at you with this cold look.

"Yeah, I did. I thought I could eat more, but then I felt sick so I gave it to Bepo instead.” Again you were smiling. You didn’t even have to think long enough or even stutter. Your answer was way too perfect. Even if you were telling him the truth, you wouldn’t answer as fast as possible.

“Did you ever lie to us?”

You shook your head and your eyes were wide. “What? No, why should I?”

“Tell me the truth.”

“I do. I never lied to you or anyone else on this ship.”

You were looking at him in determination and in this moment knew, he wouldn’t get the answer out of you.

He knew something was off but he couldn’t prove it. Just his gut feeling wouldn’t be enough.

He let go of your hand. “I’m sorry. I'll let you finish your work.” Law was about to leave the room as he turned his head towards you.

“You can trust us, you know? I know that your past was hard, but you are safe now. If you wanna talk with anyone about anything, do it please.”

Law could see a small nod coming from you. “Of course I do, captain. I already trust you. Thanks for checking on me.” You showed him a big grin and Law couldn’t help but feel this bad feeling inside him to blossom. Now that he felt off he couldn’t help but wonder, if those smiles of yours and your shining personalities are fake. What about you is real? What is a lie? He was determined to find the truth from this day on.

[iamumbra195]

Random One Piece incorrect quotes cause I'm bored

Some of these are modern au though

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

*Sanji's not there*

Usopp: HELP! I TOLD LUFFY I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Zoro, pouring alcohol directly into a cereal bowl:

Zoro: And you thought I could help?

...

Luffy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Nami : Wasn't Zoro with you?

Zoro: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised

...

Law: I trust Mugiwara-ya.

Penguin: You think he knows what he's doing?

Law: I wouldn't go that far.

...

Sabo: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Ace, confused: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Sabo: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Luffy: edible

...

Nami: We need to get through this locked door. Usopp, give me your credit card.

Usopp: Here.

Nami, pocketing it: Thanks. Luffy, kick down the door.

...

Chopper: You know those things will kill you, right?

Zoro, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Sanji, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Luffy: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

...

Robin: Why is Luffy so sad?

Nami: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Robin: And...?

Nami: He got Buggy

*Zoro cackling in the background

...

Zoro: Self care is actually getting into fights with randos in dark alleys.

Nami: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Kin'emon, trying to be poetic: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Usopp: Lmao self care is taking Luffy's birthday meat cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Luffy: If you touch my meat cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Sanji, losing his mind: WHY IS THERE FROSTING ON MEAT?

...

Franky, about Jinbe: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Robin: Are we stealing them?

Brook: New or used?

Franky, cackling: Wonderful responses, both of you.

...

Smoker: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Sanji: Shit.

Usopp: Wait, three?

Smoker: Yeah?

Nami: OH MY GOD ZORO FELL OFF!!!

...

Kin'emon: Tonight, one of you has betrayed us.

Ashura: Is it me?

Kin'emon: No, it’s not you.

Denjiro: Is it me, Kin?

Kin'emon: It’s not you either.

Kanjuro: Is it me, Kin'emon?

Kin'emon, bleeding from several debilitating injuries:

Kin'emon, mockingly: Is IT mE kiN'eMOn?

...

Usopp: Can I be frank with you guys?

Luffy, confused: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Chopper: Can I still be Chopper?

Franky, snickering: Shh, let Frank speak.

...

Sabo: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Koala: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Sabo: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ROBIN-CHAN WITH ME

Hack, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

...

Law, walking into his submarine: Hello, people who do not belong here.

Zoro: Hey.

Sanji: Hi.

Robin: Hello.

Chopper: Hey!

Law: I gave you my vivre card for emergencies only!

Luffy, grinning: We were out of meat.

...

Sanji: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Luffy, drinking meat: Why do you say that?

...

Zoro: Do you take constructive criticism?

Nami: I only take cash or credit.

...

Koala: Why are you on the floor?

Sabo: I'm depressed.

Sabo: Also I was stabbed, can you get Ivankov, please.

...

Robin: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

*everyone looks ay Karasu

Karasu: What? How am I supposed to know?

Lindbergh: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Karasu: *sighs*

Karasu: You wouldn't be trapped

...

Vivi: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Nami: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Vivi: Yes!

Usopp: ... I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

...

Usopp: WHY. why did you give Luffy a KNIFE?!

Zoro, shrugging: He said he felt unsafe.

Usopp: Now I feel unsafe!

Zoro: ... would you like a knife?

...

Dragon: What did you do with the target's body?

Sabo : What didn’t I do with the body?

Dragon:

Sabo: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

...

Luffy, texting Ace: Ace! Help I’m being kidnapped

Ace: Where are you?

Luffy: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Ace: I’ll call Gramps.

Garp, answering their cell: Y’ello?

Ace: Where’s Luffy? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.

Garp: Luffy? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-

Garp, who shaved his head:

Garp: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

Garp: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Luffy: WHO ARE YOU?!

...

*Ace, Sabo and Luffy sitting in jail together*

Sabo: So who should we call?

Ace: I’d call Gramps, but I feel safer in jail

...

Roger: Garp, my old arch enemy.

Garp: ... I thought I was your only arch enemy?

Roger: I have a life outside of you, Garp

...

Zoro: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Luffy: The cow???

Zoro: What?

Sanji: *disgusted shudder* LUFFY, W H Y?

...

Usopp: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 billion berry?

Zoro: Nami can stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house and erase my debt

Luffy: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 billion.

Zoro: Good thinking.

...

Kin'emon: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Denjiro: You were flirting with O'Tsuru.

Kin'emon: So what? She's my wife.

Denjiro: You asked her if she were single.

Kin'emon:

Denjiro: And then you cried when she said she wasn't

...

Marco: What time is it?

Ace: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Ace: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Izou: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Ace, proudly: It’s 2 am

...

Luffy: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Law: You people already know too much about me.

Kidd: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

...

Sabo, an enabler: Tell Ace about the birds and the bees.

Luffy: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

...

Brook: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

...

Zoro: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

...

Law: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

Bepo: Captain, no.

...

Law: Nothing in life is free.

Chopper: Love is free!

Luffy: Adventure is free!

Robin: Knowledge is free.

Nami: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

...

Usopp: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Luffy will and will not eat.

Franky: Grass? Yes!

Usopp: Moss? Yes!!

Franky: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Usopp: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Franky: Worms? Sometimes!

Usopp: Rocks? Usually nah.

Franky: Twigs? Usually!

Usopp: Zoro's cooking? Inconclusive!

Chopper: How did you… test this?

Usopp: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.

Chopper: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Nami: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SHOELACES WENT?

Robin: What about humans? He tried to eat Crocodile once

Everyone: ...

Usopp: I think I might be too afraid to ask

(Someone pls draw this one XD)

...

Betty: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Koala: *turning to Sabo* How tall are you?

...

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

That's it, this took forever to write lol

[frogaroundandfindout]

Random highly specific dick grayson fanfics I’ve been craving

An exhausted 18/19 yr old Dick finding Jason trying to steal the wheels off of Nightbird (his car) and instead of reprimanding him he just launches into a really proud rant about his car and how much work he put into her and god kid you got a good eye for parts. I just replaced the tires with ones where the rubber self heals. And none of that commercial crap either, actual self healing rubber that could get a bullet shot through it and still close up a second later. Oh and did you notice the seats? Just polished the leather on em! Go on sit, sit! Comfy, huh? You wanna get a bite to eat? Cool. I think bat burger’s hero-meal comes with a bat-mobile toy. Not as cool as my lovely lady of course, but close enough. Jason is absolutely baffled. This is Nightwing? The one all those new gangs that moved from bludhaven decided facing was worse than fighting for territory in the narrows? Fleeing unsuccessfully might be add considering Nightwing’s presence in gotham. He was so…nice? In that weird slightly off putting way that most of the real good people he knows have.

Dick and Damian both longing for the days where it was just them: Batman and Robin. The best. Dick having a whole moment where he curls around nearly completed adoption papers and sobs because Damian was his. For a year Damian was his to protect, his to guide, his to love. But now they aren’t even in the same city and barely go on patrols together let alone have movie nights cuddled up on the couch (it’s only reasonable Richard. Penguins huddle to conserve body heat). And Damian in the manor staring blankly at his drawing of gotham that Bruce hung up in his office. He didn’t make it for him. He made it for Richard. But what was he supposed to do when Father saw a piece dedicated to “dad” while Damian was flipping through his sketchbook? Tell him it was actually for his oldest son instead of him? Tell him that sometimes Damian wishes bruce never came back so that Richard didn’t have step back from them?

Dick who cooks tons of different cultural dishes within the same meal (like rice and curry served at the same time as sushi and fried plantains) and when questioned about it he’s just like ???? That’s what my mom used to do??? We lived in so many different places it felt weird limiting our food to one culture per meal.

Dick being like Garfield Logan’s big brother long before Jason comes into the mix. Gar frequently turning into a baby elephant just because it makes dick coo over him more than any form. Even a kitten!

[notmorbid]

this is not your city.

dialogue prompts from this is not your city: stories by caitlin horrocks.

we're too old for these games.

do you remember me?

why should i care what makes you sad?

my problems are mine. no one else's.

you'll be alright. even if it doesn't seem so, sometimes.

you're not built to sink. you'll swim in this life, if you want to.

i like to see you happy.

just stop by some evening. any evening you want. i'm there on all of them.

that sounds like a country song.

your life will be large with joy.

you are a motherfucking ignoramus.

i dreamed i love you, and you didn't love me back.

like i said, we all know each other around here.

you should watch out.

i didn't know it would be like this.

if you don't know, i don't know how to tell you.

honey, why did you wait so long?

i'm sorry i didn't know what was happening.

you have been holding out on me.

where'd you learn to make ____?

did your mother sew? did she teach you?

i dreamed good dreams, but i don't remember what they were.

if you steal, take something worth taking.

i never could protect you, not ever.

whatever's good about your life now is in spite of me.

i don't wish for things to be much different than they're likely to be.

love and squalor, but mostly love.

the heart hates who it hates.

reincarnation is a lesson in socioeconomics.

people from dry places lack a certain respect for the sea.

if i could have told anyone, it would have been you.

revenge is about satisfaction, but it's also about restoring balance.

i've never expected justice.

the body is an animal thing. it doesn't know how to surrender.

aren't lawyers quick on their feet?

you know why lions eat raw meat? because they don't know how to cook.

it'd be pretty great to be a penguin, wouldn't it?

i am not old, but i am far too old for this.

i've kissed a lot of men and found no princes. all frogs.

you're much cooler than my parents.

what? enjoying the view?

are you ready to go home now?

this is not your city anymore.

how do you still know nothing?

speak. just speak. please.

no one's mad. you're safe.

no one will hate you.

it's not a crime, not being able to save someone.

it's a good story. it's almost true.

the silence will swallow us, and it will save us whole.

i'm staying in bed today.

i thought i might start a resistance with the neighbors.

so it's over? just like that?

[myriadparacosm]

Sitcom AU - 1. The one with the bride

wolfstar; jegulus; dorlene; panryly; rosekiller

"What I mean is that it's not right."

"Isn't that kind of homophobic?"

Marlene scowls at Pandora, who quickly pinches her lips together with a coy look, making Remus chuckles in his cup of tea.

"No, no, hear her out," Sirius cuts.

"Two male penguins?!"

"Still can't believe you didn't hear about that before," Peter mentions, stirring his new cup of coffee.

"They got an egg too?! When they have been trying to steal one but they get a reward instead?!"

"That was one solution to stop that behaviour," Remus sagely comments.

"If I did that, I wouldn't be given a child!"

"You don't want one, Marl'."

"Thank God for that too— ouch! Fuck! I'm on your side!"

"Just accept that penguins have more rizz than you," Mary says before ducking at the pillow. "Hey!"

The waitress clears her throat from behind the couch and Marlene smiles toothily at her to lose it as quickly when facing them again.

"As if you have any."

"Shouldn't we be happy that gay penguins are accepted and loved? Especially if they raised a little baby!"

"I believe, their chick was also a lesbian," Remus comments

"Their child too?!" Marlene exclaims in shock. "What is going on in this world?!"

"I could present you someone if you are that desperate," Pandora gently offers. "I have this co-"

"I don't need help!"

Sirius grimaces with a nod. "You do."

"Like you are any better, slag."

"I'm on your side!" He argues with a waving hand that she slaps away. "Cunt!"

"On her side against— queer penguins?" Peter wonders.

"I just can't bloody believe it."

"Sometimes, I wish I was a penguin," Remus mutters and pauses at all the eyes jumping on him. "Erm."

"And you call me desperate."

"You literally have a feud with penguins now?" Mary points out.

Sirius laughs before looking up just in time for James to walk in Hogwarts. Marlene sighs, not bothering to glance since these two always predict whenever their other half is around.

"Hi James!" Pandora greets.

"Hey," he grins even if it's a tad sadder than usual while he puts his wet umbrella against the rack already full. "Whatcha talking about?" He asks, sitting down next to Sirius who scooted over and immediately puts his arm on his shoulders.

"Marlene discovered animals can be queer," Peter explains. "And wants to fight a couple of penguins."

James laughs, turning to her. "But that's so cute!"

She scowls at him. "They have it so easy while we have to bloody pay taxes and they got a marriage and child for free, how is that right?!"

Mary leans toward James. "She got a bad date last night and-" she shrieks at the kick in her back, getting her face smashed in the couch's bottom. Marlene cackles evily just as Mary rounds on her. "You better not have used your shoes on my new shirt!"

The waitress pays them no mind, used to their antics, as she nods at James' order before walking behind the counter.

"Knee."

"You're such a cunt. Don't come whine to me about pain from your trainings because I'm never massaging you again."

"You alright, Prongs?" Peter asks. "Where is Lily?"

He shrugs. "I'm alright. She had work to do so," he says and smiles at Sirius who squeezes him with his arm. "I'm really fine. Just a bit bummed out."

Remus offers a supportive smile, leaning out of his armchair to pat his knee. "You're still friends."

James sighs and takes the cuppa from the waitress' hands with a polite smile. "I know… It's just that I kind of hoped her- us, to be it."

"It's her loss, mate," Sirius says with a startle at Remus' slap on his arm. "What?! It's the truth!"

"Lily is our friend too," he retorts with a pointed look but Sirius only rolls his eyes.

"At least it ended well."

"It might be awkward for some time but everything will be fine," Pandora promises. "You just can't picture her naked anymore."

James blushes. "I wasn't going to! And I know that, I'm just disappointed that it ended up— like that."

"You two dated quite quickly," Mary points out. "It's not that uncommon to realise that despite your attraction, you were both better off as friends."

"And that she is a lesbian."

James scowls at Marlene. "First off, she was almost never attracted to anyone before. Second, she is attracted to me. Third, she is trying to figure it out so don't push her around, Marl'."

Pandora nods. "Yes, I want Lily to stay our friend too. She is lovely."

"Why do you assume I'm going to bully her? I'm just sharing facts!"

"Because you are one," Mary sniffs and flips her off when she sticks her tongue out.

James watches them with an amused grin and meets Sirius' eyes with his own unsure gaze. "She would like that too but she is worried. I told her that it doesn't change anything but…"

Sirius pats his cheek before petting his hair. "Don't worry. I'm sure it will be fine."

"She might only need some time," Remus agrees.

"Breakups, as nice as it went for you two, is still hard," Mary adds with a sorry look. "You were both— intense."

Peter shares the sentiment with a nod as they watch James drinks his cuppa and Sirius brushes his wet hair to cheer him up. He smiles at them, lips wordless for several tries before rolling his shoulders.

"I still love Lily, maybe not as much as a lover like I wanted but at least we are. She offered me a chance to try and… If I'm honest, I felt it for a while."

"Oh, Prongs."

"No, it's fine," he promises with a quick comforting smile at Sirius. "I was happy. Think she was too but you know, no sparks or anything. Comfy but more like friends with benefits rather than lovers."

"Shouldn't it be like that?" Marlene wonders, putting down her cup on the coffee table. "Maybe you only got through the honeymoon part."

"We can't really judge on that," Peter slowly says. "No one has been in a serious relationship more than you. Even Re-"

"Let's not talk about him," Remus interrupts.

Sirius glances at him before settling back on James. "I'm sure there is someone out there that will give you all the sparks you want."

James sighs. "It's stupid but I had everything planned. Now I have to plan another wedding, with someone else, in God knows when but I want to find my soulmate-"

"Lobster-"

"To build our lives together and get married," he finishes with a fond but torn expression.

The doors of Hogwarts slam open and the rain furiously takes advantage of that small gap before it closes after a figure stumbles through on heels. The cafe falls silent, everyone doing a double-take at the long white wedding dress, beautiful despite its soggy state.

"And I want a pony!" Pandora blurts out with eager eyes at the apparition.

The disheveled black hair clashes with the long veil scrunched up in it while the bride frantically looks around with wide bloodshot eyes, which almost pops out of her skull when landing on a gaping Sirius.

"Oh my God," he gasps out, hand frozen in a tangle of James' hair as he straightens up in his seat.

With blank and tears brewing eyes, the bride stumbles to the couch, completely missing the step of the entry but she saves herself with a thunderous look and nails digging into the couch.

"Sirius! Oh my God, there you are," she gasps out.

"Holy crap," Marlene blurts out.

Sirius stares at the bride before jumping out of his seat. "What are you doing here?!"

The bride scowls, angrily pulling at her skirt before throwing it to point out the obvious. "I went by your apartment but then I only found your landlord who told me you might be here-- which you are and I finally found you..," her voice cracks the more it goes as her already ashen face blanches.

Sirius is quite close to follow her by the weak step he takes but stops himself. James is as flabbergasted as him but by his frown he might have recognized her. Remus glances between them before almost inching over the edge of his seat, ready to stand up.

"Pads?"

"Hum, would you like a cuppa?" The waitress asks with a worried frown.

The bride almost glares at her, ramming her dress in one hand, before turning back to Sirius.

"I need your help-"

"How the hell are you even here?! Found me?"

"Sirius can't actually be secretly married, is he?" Peter whispers but Remus is at lost of words.

"I know all your whereabouts."

"Can someone explain to me what's happening?!" Mary exclaims with a barely hushed tone, leaning against Pandora's shoulders to stare at them closer.

Sirius jerks, glancing frantically at them until he lands back on the bride who started to breath heavily.

"Oh my God, breathe!" James says, standing up with a gesture at the couch. "Sit down, catch your breathe."

She ignores him. "I need your help, Sirius-"

"Did you just run out of a wedding?!" He exclaims.

"Yes, mine! You— ne fais pas l'idiot !" She argues with big gasps of air, chest bobbing not by much despite the speed under her corset. "I ran off because I couldn't do it, not anymore. I… I just can't. I had to crawl through a window but I had no idea where to go except to you," she gasps out with a fever splattered on her cheeks, "I think I broke my ankle because of these stupid heels."

Sirius takes a deep breath, leaning onto the couch to look at her legs, before looking up. "What's your shoe size? 13, right?"

"What? No, I'm not a child anymore, Sirius! 5," She says, exasperated.

Every patron are still watching when Sirius jumps over the coffee table to get to Mary. She can barely make a noise before her shoes are grabbed and she shrieks when Sirius only tugs harder.

"Sirius! Stop!" She shrieks, clawing at the rug when she is dragged, before throwing a disbelieving look at them. "Wha- can anyone help me?!" She gasps when one of her shoes finally gives up and Sirius almost falls on Pandora before he does the same for the second shoe.

No one moves and even the bride seems stunned by Sirius, who walks up to him to hand him over Mary's shoes. James gapes at them.

"Padfoot?"

"My shoes?!"

"Free heels."

Sirius throws blindly the pair of sparkly heels on the couch, helping the bride stay upright as she tries to put Mary's shoes on with one hand while the other shakily holds on the dress. Mary, baffled, glances at the heels before taking them with a shrug.

"Sirius?" Remus cautiously calls.

"Don't come in the apartment for like, an hour at least!" He calls as he leads the bride outside, helping her as keeps tripping despite the new shoes.

They watch them through the windows, along with everyone else, while Sirius hastily tries to untangle the veil from her long black hair before throwing it out on the street as they disappear around the corner. Pandora turns to gape at them in excitement.

"What just happened?!"

Remus slightly shakes his head and turns to James. "Prongs?"

He jerks to face them, still standing in front of the couch, and his mouth finally shuts with a loud noise. "Huh?"

"Have an idea who that was?"

"She looked a lot like Sirius," Peter comments.

James nods, clearly in his thoughts, before sitting down with a last look at the windows. "It's Regulus."

"Who?"

"Sirius' brother."

"Sirius has a brother?" Peter asks in disbelief. "Since when?!"

Mary frowns. "Hum, then explain why his brother was wearing heels and wearing a wedding dress? Stealing my shoes?"

"You are wearing the heels," Pandora points out.

"Because he stole them and they are clearly expensive— even if they don't fit with my current jeans."

"He is trans," Remus says. "That's the brother who didn't want to run away with him when they were younger?"

James nods, glancing at the windows again. "Regulus."

"You knew?! How come didn't I know?" Peter asks.

"Wait, is he a trans man or a trans woman because I'm lost," Pandora interjects.

"Trans man," James explains. "He— well, their parents aren't quite accepting that part but he still stayed with them. That's why he looks so… not."

"God, was that a forced marriage and forcing him to stay a woman?" Mary asks in horror. "Wait, is it Regulus as a man or? Strange name."

"That's the name he picked for himself."

"You knew him from your private fancy school?" Peter wonders and looks at Remus. "But you weren't there, so how did you know?"

"Erm, Sirius might have mentioned it to me," he admits. "Barely…"

"Oh my God, their parents must be going crazy. They are just insane-"

"Holy crap, Sirius with tits is hot." James stares in disbelief at Marlene, finally coming back to earth by the looks of it with a slight scoff. "What?! I never thought that would happen! And they look terrifyingly similar!"

"I thought his family was in France," Remus mentions, confused. "How did Regulus find Sirius like that?"

"Should we go check on them maybe?" Pandora asks, straightening up on her knees. "He said to not come to the apartment but maybe we can bring some warm food and drinks for them. Make Regulus feel welcome."

James gasps. "Do you think he is going to stay?"

Marlene frowns at him. "Wait… Didn't you have this huge crush on Regulus?! I remember something about Sirius' sibling!"

Mary cackles at James' vivid blush. He makes a rude gesture at her while Pandora smiles fondly at him, joining him on the couch to rub his shoulder. Remus smiles with a sorry on his lips, remembering James' infatuation on his best friend's brother back when they met during university where Sirius only showed up sometimes to visit with no mention of any sibling except for James.

[imagines-to-quench-thirst]

Joker Masterlist

Disclaimer: stories are fictitious and should not be taken literally, the behavior is entirely imaginative and the content may be inappropriate

Updated & repaired: 16/07/2023 (if a story won't load or something else, please message me and let me know)

MAIN MASTERLIST

Fluff🌺  Angst 🌩️ Smut❤️‍🔥

MY HEADCANONS W/ OTHER CHARACTERS:

Speak In Flowers 🌺 Flowers speak their own words and show their actions. And your man loves to speak it out loud.

Visiting Your Hometown 🌺 how would your boy act when you drag him along to your hometown

Helping You To Accept Your Stretch Marks 🌺your boy helps you accept your beautiful stretch marks as they are...pure perfection

Explaining To Your Man Kdramas🌺I (V) wrote small drabbles that paired my favorite men and dramas that I absolutely love

Dating A Tattoo Artist 🌺 being a tattoo artist and your boyfriend being part of it

When Tough Times Occur 🌺Life itself can be a pain and with its obstacles, it can seem impossible to overcome it but that’s what makes us stronger as people.

Someone Rubs You The Wrong Way With... 🌺 how would your man protect you when someone doesn’t mind your business

Having A Shower ❤️‍🔥having a shower with your man sounds like heaven right?!

One Thing He Loves About You (Physically Or Mentally)🌺 the title spoils the ending a bit

No Nut November ❤️‍🔥in the glory of No Nut November, you make a bet with your liver saying if they fail you cuff them and use them to your liking but if you lose they get to fulfil one of their fantasies. And you are keen on it to make them lose, by any means.

ASKS

Taking Off Their S/O's Makeup 🌺(Could you do Duncan Vizla,the Joker and whoever else you’d like.)taking off their s/o makeup after they come from a nightout because they are too drunk to do it themselves 💛

Stress Test 🌺can i request Duncan Vizla, the Joker, Victor Creed and what would they do if they see their s/o down because they're stressed due exams?

DRABBLES FROM MY🧠

Leaving Legacy 🌩️the Joker is captured by Batman. Leaving Y/n, his girlfriend to hold up his legacy but what happens when a woman nudges herself between the criminal and the good girl turned mafia leader?

You Just Wrote Your Death Wish 🌺Y/n is taken by the Penguin and Joker is ready to collect

Lipstick Kisses🌺

Living On The Edge 🌺Dating the Joker had its ups and downs, some would say more downs...

Waves 🌩️ J doesn't like waves

Surrounded In Gold🌩️🌺

The Queen Of Gotham🌺

Purple Coat🌺

PICTURE IMAGINE

Joker stealing the world’s rarest and most expensive diamonds as a surprise for you🌺

Joker Looking At You🌺

[andradrawsstuff]

An in-depth character analysis of Skipper: pt 1

This version of Skipper is probably the simplest since he was comic relief at first, but a bit of a hot take, might actually be my favourite (I prefer the show version of the other three tho). Going back to the movies after years of watching the show, I realised that this version of Skipper is surprisingly… chill? I guess I’ve been so used to his tv personality that my brain just decided to override his movie personality with tv Skipper.

Buckle your seatbelts, this is going to be a long one ☝️🤓

Movie Skipper is quite a nonchalant, carefree and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but calm character. He’s kinda just minding his own business doing his missions. He’s pretty serious when he’s leading his team and planning his missions, eg. the boat hijacking scene, but generally you’ll see him with a smile on his face. He’s always been a suave and charming little guy with a lot of sarcasm and sass, which he wouldn’t be Skipper without.

Generally he takes no bs, is straight to the point, and is pretty blunt, usually to Alex and his bunch. But this is also where his sass and sarcasm starts to show more. It’s funny. I think that Madagascar 2 really shows his charm and sass more out of the three main movies bc of all the chaos.

It’s pretty safe to say that the penguins are chaotic neutrals (apart from Private maybe) but they do it in such a way that makes it really funny. Not only do they trick the tourists and steal their car (ya know, grand theft auto) but also run over the grandma after seeing she’s still alive (ya know, attempted vehicular homicide). I could name every single crime they commit istg and it’s a long list 💀 But anyway, Skipper does all this with such a chill and carefree attitude and simply doesn’t give a shit. It’s what makes him so funny. It’s a big reason why I love this version of him, bc he doesn’t take everything too seriously and just goes about his day like nothing ever happened.

Obviously, he’s not evil and does still care about others, for example when they rescue Alex and his bunch in Madagascar 2 and 3, as well as stopping Dave in their spinoff. But I do think that he has something against humans (which is understandable) bc he seems to have a general disregard for them which is kinda funny.

In Madagascar 3, you start to see a bit of a shift in his personality and he becomes a little more aggressive. I’m guessing it’s because Tom was used to voicing Skipper more aggressively for the tv series and they also probably adopted a bit of tv Skipper into movie Skipper. But he is still generally pretty nonchalant nonetheless. He isn’t as suave as the other two movies either, but he does activate Kowalski’s nuclear reactor just for the funnies so I’ll give him that. The best thing about them here is their interactions with Dubois, the sheer trail of carnage they leave behind wherever they go, and the funny little quips here and there. Can’t forget bababooey.

The penguins spinoff movie brings back a little of Skipper’s charm and swagger, mostly with the “I do things my own way” attitude and him just being an asshole to Classified bc he doesn’t like him. This movie also makes Skipper more tame than the other movies which I don’t mind that much, but I wish he was a little more chaotic neutral rather than so hellbent on being heroic.

But the thing that really solidified Skipper as a complex character was his character development. This is the first time you get to see his vulnerable side and even from the start of the movie you see that he’s actually pretty sweet underneath all that chaos. When they “lose” Private is when you really start seeing Skipper’s full character, going from carefreeness to pure desperation trying to get his little brother back after he gets kidnapped, which I think was a great way to go because it shows how much he loves his family.

Later on he kinda “gives up” and follows the North Wind’s plan, which is one of the only moments you see him completely vulnerable and unmasked - no clever quip, no opposition, just acceptance. A perfect contrast to his usual “never give up, never back down” attitude. I think it adds a lot more realism to his character and shows that the one thing that can break him is losing one of his brothers. This is something that you don’t really see in the show (other than for a short period of time eg. Skorka) which I think would have been a great way to develop his character more.

When they get Private back at the end of the movie, you get to see Skipper’s sweet side again and his character development comes full circle - he learns to stop undermining Private. He realises he was wrong and tries to make it right. In a way, I guess he takes accountability. Which you don’t see all that often in the show, only episodes like Needle Point coming to mind when thinking about it.

I think that this is another big reason why I prefer movie Skipper over tv Skipper - yeah, he’s a bit flawed and a little simpler than tv Skip, but he makes an effort to change in the end which tv Skipper doesn’t do as much. Movie Skipper is nonchalant, sassy, suave and by the end, pretty sweet. I guess you could say he’s pretty well written and honestly I wish we got to see more of his softer side and less paranoid attitude at the end of the show.

That’s not to say I hate tv Skipper tho, when i was a kid I LOVED him a lot more than movie Skip and I still find him rlly funny, I mean Skipper is Skipper haha. I guess my opinion just changed bc I grew up and I started seeing characters differently and started valuing character development a lot more, but who knows, maybe in a year it’ll change again lmao.

I am so sorry this got so out of hand and turned into a mf essay 💀 I promise the other analysis will be shorter 🙏

[rokishimizu4]

Bruce tries to adopt another child

(This comes right after Damian’s post, and I hope that everyone who reads my BatFam Headcannons enjoys it! I’ll be starting my BatFam & Symbiotic! Reader soon over on my AO3 (SCP_66666) Enjoy)

Bruce half expects Damian to be calling for backup, aka he decided that the zoo wasn’t taking enough care of a certain animal and wanted to take it back to the manor to take care of it.

But, he did follow after Harley without a complaint as Batman, with a hidden tranquility gun and shot as a just in case that Damian wasn’t calling in for a new friend.

”Do you think Robin’s calling in to tell us that Bud and Lou got their girlfriends pregnant? Oh I hope so!” Harley coos in the Batcar and wiggles around like an excited soon-to-be grandma. But Bruce’s sharp eyes tells him that she’s nervous for a different reason.

”Damian would just be calling you for that news. Though I hope he wasn’t calling to convince me to bring home another ‘friend’ for him.” Bruce rolls his eyes behind his mask, praying that Damian was calling faith good news, and not because Penguin was trying to steal another batch of penguins for a scheme.

As he almost let Damian have his way when the last batch of penguins got blown up, though he is pretty sure that Jason and Dick did something to Oswald for that stunt.

When Batman and Harley finally make it to the Gotham City Zoo, he makes sure to park in the back, which is closer to where the more ‘dangerous’ animals are located, and rushes towards the hyenas enclosure.

Once they both get there, with Harley rushing ahead due to fearing for her babies and her favorite nephew, Batman is surprised to see that all four hyenas are just playing with a being made entirely of black and purple goop/oil/slime something.

”Oh thank god! Dr. Harley, please tell Bud and Lou that we mean no harm to the child. We only wish to check on them and make sure that they are not harmed.” A staff member begs Harley, after breaking away from the small group of caretakers and walking towards her and Batman. “We have no idea how the child got in there, but they refuse to leave and June and Jolene refuse to allow us inside their territory.”

”Mr. Batman, Dr. Harleen, I think that they may have adopted the child as their own.” Damian, who was the only one allowed to lean against the enclosure (the closest he could get without June and Jolene freaking out), mentioned as he closes the book on hyenas that he was reading.

“Well, well. I haven’t seen Bud and Lou this happy since they met June and Jolene.”

Harley walks up to the enclosure and sits down on her legs to be face to face with Bud and Lou. “Babies~, can Momma come in and check over your little pup? Momma just wants to make sure that they’re safe and healthy.”

Bud and Lou looks from their momma and then to their girlfriends and then to the child, and back again. They back away from the entrance of their enclosure and start to wag their tails.

“Thank you my sweet boys!!” Harley coos as one of the Caregivers unlocks the enclosure door and lets her go in first, mainly due to Harley’s bond.

”Thank you babies. Hi June-bug and Jolene, you keeping this little goopy sweetie safe?” She stops a few feet away as the child curls closer to Jolene, who gives a low growl/laugh in warning. Which Harley quickly listens and simply sits down in her spot and waits.

”Dr. Harley, are you sure?” One of the Caregivers ask, out of concern, but Batman simply keeps his attention on both Damian and the goop child, as he trusted Harley to keep herself safe.

”Doesn’t that child look like the supposed ‘Sleep Demon’ all the rouges are freaking out about? My sister was talking about it over the phone, and how one of the rouges were freaking about it when he almost got a kid hurt by robbing a bank in Central City.”

Cue both Batman and Damian taking a closer look at the supposed ‘child’ and realizing that it was the ‘Sleep Demon’.

Cue him also realizing that this is the child that both Jason and Dick were arguing about and trying to adopt, as being a dad or as a big brother.

Batman turns to Damian and bends down to look into his eyes, and asks in a low voice so that no one else could hear them, “Would you mind if I adopted this kid and gave you a new sibling?” “If you don’t, I will tell both Dick and Jason where we are, and I will have a new sibling either way.”

”Hey Bats, the kid is coming towards you!!” Harley yells as the child, who suddenly became a lot bigger and more buff, full sprints towards the Caregivers, Batman, and Damian but only to jump over the enclosure walls and onto the Batmobile.

”Do not harm our host! Scary Bat person!” The creature yells, in a mix of voices, at Batman, before getting off of the Batmobile and preparing to take another leap to escape.

”Wait, please. I mean no harm to you or your ‘host. I simply wish to talk, nothing more.”

”We shall allow it, but it will be a place that we deem worthy, Bat of Man.” The creature finishes, before leaping high into the air, and breathing out a smoke from which the creature disappears entirely.

”Soooo, you gonna adopt them, or am I?” Harley pops up behind Bruce and Damian, keeping her voice down so no one else can hear her.

[mjrtaurus]

I like to think Urpi’s always a really artistic, creative soul, but with nowhere to put all the energy cause there is just nooo way she’d do it when she was still up in Skypiea! Not when there is so much work to do, she wouldn’t let herself get distracted by some wayward desire to doodle!

(Still, when the nights were still and quiet she’d spent some of her precious few sleeping hours doing that same exact thing. She had no real answer as to why, the weight of everything just felt a little lighter when she did. She’s never share this with anyone naturally and would deny it to her last breath if/when Nina caught her.)

When she found herself at the mercy of those horrible pirates so many thoughts consumed her, all raging in her head like a swarm of locusts but strangely drawing still came back to her mind. She wished she hadn’t been so cowardly about something she liked, she wished she would have done it more. Maybe her people would more to remember by than just sure to fade memories.

A couple of months after her rescue she ended making a single request to the ever accommodating Vice Admiral: a pencil and some paper. She’d lock herself in her room and draw the curtains tight before delving into that notepad. She drew everything about home, every person she knew, every familiar curve of cloud she could recall. She refused to forget, she’d draw until the pencil snapped again and again. There was no point in drawing anything else anyway.

Until, she began noticing. And once she started she couldn’t stop. The Blue Sea, the islands that inhabit it…they were all quite beautiful.

So she slowly began to draw those too. Just a little at first, a nondescript piece of ocean, the sandy duned deserts of Alabasta, the glorious architecture of Water 7, had this world always been this way? How had she never truly seen it before?

The more she bonded with the crew of that Marine ship the more she began to draw them too. She usually (carefully) ripped them out and handed it over to whoever her muse was and my how they would fawn over their drawn selves, she always thought they were being a little exaggerative but the praise and encouragement was…nice. The Vice Admiral had even gifted a couple sketchbooks and some charcoals which even she had to admit was pretty sweet of him to do.

One of those sketchbooks and most of that charcoal get used for..something, she never clarifies it to anyone.

(It’s drawings of Garp. The crush, her very first one mind you, hit her ass hard and she needed an outlet. What are the contents of those sketches you ask? Well that’s between her, Nika and the lighter she definitely didn’t steal.)

Those… questionable drawings are somewhere locked up tighter than the gates of Mary Geoise. Possibly under a loose floorboard, or a false backing in a bookshelf. Garp accidentally happened upon them once and didn’t say anything about it. He was tickled pink for days on end, but he didn’t say anything about it.

Urpi knew.

There is a sketch right in the middle of one of her earlier sketchbooks that is unfinished. Elbaf, as seen from the deck of an approaching ship. It was some of her finest work, and yet… it felt like it should remain unfinished.

Later that day, Garp proposed to her.

Over the years they were together, she filled many other sketchbooks. Drawings of the inside of their home, the streets of Goa and the high walls, the uncomfortable magnetism of Gray Terminal, the cozy cottage they eventually moved to after Dragon was born (the boy needed room to grow, she and Garp had readily agreed), the garden outside, the jungles of Dawn and the distant peak of My. Colubo…

And Dragon. Dragon, Dragon, Dragon. Her darling boy. His little wings that both made her so proud and so worried. And then Dadan. And then Kuzan. And then all three together. Garp and the kids. Self portraits with the help of a looking glass. The snails Dragon would bring home to show everyone. The penguin that just appeared out of nowhere and had been with Kuzan ever since. The ragtag group of boys that Dadan bossed around. The kids throughout their lives. Dragon- newly appointed Admiral at the time- in his dress uniform, looking adorably uncomfortable, Kuzan snoozing during an award ceremony, Dadan sitting front and center with Garp before the newly built hideout…

And then she had to run.

None of her sketchbooks came with her.

The cottage had been ransacked.

She never had the heart to draw again.

Not until she saw a face she hadn’t seen in a good thirty years. Same nose, same eyes, same mouth as her own, but his shaggy hair and the sharp cut of his jaw were all his father’s. And that tattoo. The same patterning she always knitted into the scarves she used to wrap around his neck when he was just a boy ready to go out and play in the snow.

[lavenderfeminist]

Yes

I think homosexuality has been passed down to no reproduce because its literally stopping you for reproducing

Even in animals this is shown, like why gay penguins steal babies or adopt orphans if they can reproduce? Why in some specie of duck/bird a gay pairs with a bisexual and then said bisexual has the kids for both of them, why wouldnt both of them? Why gays never fuck with the opposite sex even if they are in heat? And obviously being in heat or horny is because It comes down to reproduction despite of social animals that have sex to Bond so

And yes a straight couple even if they are infertil they can want babies but the difference is that is their bodies being sick stopping that

For a gay wanting bio kids no, its the mind therefore its a mental illness because you are wanting something that goes against your own nature

Does it upset you to see a lesbian say she wishes she could finger a baby into her wife

[pastamansta]

🔥 Tim Burton (him as a person or his aesthetic, your choice!)

"Beetlejuice" (1988) reminds me a lot of another film I watched recently; "Tombstone" (1993). Sold by an aesthetic and a FANTASTIC performance from a side character, audiences were conned into loving a mediocre film. I'm not Lindsey Ellis, so don't expect me to talk about the cartoon.

"Batman" (1989) and its sequel is proof that Burton will not be giving up his aesthetic for God or money. Gotham is heavily disconnected from both the film and its source material, with little reason other than its director. There's a reason no one calls these "Keaton's Batmans," they call them "Burton's Batmans." Jack Nicholson is great as The Joker, but that's no hot take. The hot take is that Devito is too horny as The Penguin, and it makes me uncomfortable for a film that's already so sexual.

"Edward Scissorhands" (1990) is a bitter, bitter film where artist finally meets muse. Not, like, in the plot, but in the production. Depp and Burton were made for eachother... or at least that's what I'm supposed to think. This movie's just too messy, however, and can't decide where its focal point lies and leaves me wishing I had just watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (2000) instead.

"Sleepy Hollow" (1999) leaves me, a fan of the original text, I know that's probably a weird thing to say, miffed, even if understanding. Outside of some pacing issues, it's a bold reimagining that feels like Burton attempting to get out of his comfort zone... but I just didn't need this story to be turned into an homage to B-horror. Go watch that Disney short, eh?

"Big Fish" (2003) is his best film. I am hardly qualified to speak on it, and even if I did, I would cry. So, you know, just go watch that shit.

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (2005) is destined to be compared to "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" (1971), and why wouldn't it? In thirty-four years since the making of the original, not a single person worth listening to said "i need this done right," including Burton himself, which is why he tries to add so much, but no amount of additions changes the fact that he casted his muse instead of someone who could, you know, act like Wonka? So, you know, destined for failure and to be loved by everyone who won't watch movies made before 1987.

"Corpse Bride" (2005) is one of only two claymation films that Burton would actually direct, and he uses this time to steal a Jewish story and make it less Jewish. I don't like the ending or the songs and it feels like it could be cut in half and achieve the same effect.

"Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (2007) literally doesn't have the iconic opening number from the stage play??? Overall, there's rarely a pairing of source material and director that works as well as this one... If only I enjoyed the source material, eh? So dark, so bitter, so edgy, so... nothing. I never think about this movie. When I do, I think of Mrs. Lovett's dream sequence and remember the good old days of "Big Fish" (2003) when Burton liked to use color.

"Alice in Wonderland" (2010) is one of my guiltiest pleasures in all of film. It is the reason why every time Disney announces a live-action remake, my ears perk up. If all of them were as wild, unhinged, original, creative, and inspired as this one... Well, I think Disney might not be fucking bleeding money right now. No one ever even mentions that it's a sequel to the original animated film. A SEQUEL, not a remake. Sometime movie-goers surprise me with how little they think.

"Frankenweenie" (2012) blows. I don't care how unique it is, I do not like it.

"Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children" (2016) is one of the funniest remnants of the teen dystopia genre. Like, it hardly applies, but is trying SO HARD that it's unbelievable. Also, props to Mr. "Black People Aren't My Aesthetic" for casting Samuel L. Jackson as a dude who eats white babies. (I do not mean that.) Seriously, this is proof that Burton, as a modern director, should no longer be taken seriously.

"Dumbo" (2019) is AAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHA I FUCKING HATE THIS DUDE HOLY SHIT

If I didn't mention, I haven't seen it. Yes, I know I skipped some big ones. I may watch them one day, but I am in no rush.

[yeyinde]

lev… if you’ve seen it I have to know your thoughts on the penguin finale because… 😵‍💫 I’ve been thinking about it nearly nonstop for the past three days

heartbreaking, actually.

i kinda understand why it had to happen, but ultimately, i just wish they did something else. i rambled so much because i was so excited for what it could have been, so spoilers under the cut.

it's hard, too, when you put a villain in a leading role because at a certain point, the audience forgets they're suppose to be evil. that Oz is, essentially, a Big Bad for Batman when he comes back. but having him as the star, you root for him. especially when it's presented like this.

in the comics, he's ruthless. and there are a lot of parallels between him and Batman (which obviously is a bit underplayed in the television series), but Oz's greed and lack of a moral compass is what really sets them apart. there's a fundamental disconnect there that disallows them to be two sides of the same coin.

but this series was different. a different take on the Penguin. i kinda understand why they made the choices they made. people need to see Oz as a villain. i can understand that, but.

i kinda wish they didn't. i wish that instead of drawing such a brutal and blunt line of utter psychopath in Oz's character, they let it stay grey so we always have that note of sympathy for this man when he's facing off against Batman because it's so much more engaging when the villain is sympathetic and/or relatable. it makes a great dissonance between Tragic Rich Guy makes himself the moral authority and Tragic Poor/Bad Guy who circumvents this idea.

now, any argument Oz tries to make is going to be overshadowed by this choice. we, as the audience, cannot trust him. it almost negates the sympathy we felt.

it was also setting itself up as an interesting dynamic. Oz and Vic are, essentially, cut from the cloth but where Oz cheats, lies, steals, manipulates, and kills to his own way, Vic doesn't. it could have been a nice antithesis to Oz's character, and it could have also given us a different perspective;

how far would you go for loyalty or to survive?

ahhh. i just feel like. Vic would have been such an interesting character to play off of Batman and Oz. technically, he's condoning bad things but he's not inherently evil. he's a good guy in a bad situation. i think, with Batman being in his infancy, this could have set up so much of the groundwork for the strict rules he follows.

and even on his own, Vic, as a character, had so much potential.

the reason i understand why they did it is because there's no coming back from this. Oz made his choice. it's a heavy blow to the audience because it reminds them of why he's evil but i wish there was more buildup to it. i wish it wasn't over something so flimsy. like maybe he felt himself wavering or maybe Vic reminded him too much of what he could have been that he can't stomach what he does when he looks at Vic. the jealousy-sorrow angle would have been more understandable.

i want to get deeper into Oedipus Oz's head than what we got in the sparse moments following the end.

and Sophia. i loved her to pieces but what more can she do? team up with Selina? become more of the Hangman than what we sorta saw?

i just think, and it might be a little controversial, that it would have been way more interesting if Vic had to kill Sophia to protect Oz. or something like that.

loved the show, though!!! i will def be doing a rewatch for hidden things i missed in the first run-through.

[review-anon]

(A army of living coconuts Kidnaps Makoto, Hajime, Shuichi, Yuki, Sora, Ayumu, Kazuki and Teruko and are planning to sacrifice for their weird Coconut gods!)

I know I said I didn't have a lot of action but this isn't what I had in mind.

This is why you should be careful what you wish for, as then you get situations like this.

How does this even happen? Two of us have Divine Luck for crying out loud, we shouldn't be captured by some C tier Moana villains!

Well it could be worse...we could be captured by a singing giant crab or by actual gods.

That doesn't make the situation any better Hinata!

Sorry guys...this is all because I'm here, my bad luck must be able to neutralise two Divine Luck Nexus holders.

Kazumi: Actually with you, me and Teruko that should have steered us into the negative luck wise.

Did Tsumugi steal your sprites Kazumi as you don't have any?

Kazumi: No its because my sprites haven't been ported to the internet and Review Anon cannot find them. Its not like Tsumugi where she has sprites, its just that RA choses not to use them.

Hate to break up this charming discussion but I don't like the ritual going on over there as I think we are gonna be sacrified.

That isn't happening as those coconuts are quite stupid as they tied us up but they didn't take away my knife.

Really? Then hurry up and let us out Tawaki!

Hmmm...should I or shouldn't I? Its no benefit to me if I don't manage to get away and you lot all get sacrified instead.

This is NO time for jokes Tawaki! Get us out right now!

Orr...I wonder how Matthews and Jeung will think if you left us all to die here...

....

I hate it when you do blackmail like that Sora. FINE you can all get out.

*Teruko uses her knife to realise all the other protagonists from their bonds.

The coconut people, did not like this and went on the attack*

Kazumi: Alright! Thank you Tawaki now its time for some payback!

Hey...if we smash these guys...do they count as dead bodies?

Unless the penguins like coconut juice...which I doubt, I say we go all out.

Then lets crack some coconuts! Whoever smashes the least has to wear a chicken costume!

Oh its so on Hinata, I am not losing this.