originalusername3000

[originalusername3000]

my boss accidentally added a wrong number to our group chat 😭

[originalusername3000]

This wasn’t meant to be funny, it was a warning. War is upon us.

the year is 2025

scientists are still scrambling to figure out what “zigazig ahh” is so that they can give the spice girls what they really really want

the spice girls are getting impatient

war is upon us

[originalusername3000]

[originalusername3000]

if a werewolf dies but they were an organ donor does someone get a new kidney that turns into a wolf kidney once a month

[originalusername3000]

My wishes came true, and ten fold.

This is really sad to look at.

In Ohio.

In December.

It should be colder.

We SHOULD BE IN THE TEENS RIGHT NOW.

[originalusername3000]

[originalusername3000]

“HAIII :3” should be used only for close friends, who you are truly exited to speak to.

[originalusername3000]

pukicho distortion studies

Keep going. we're on the cusp of something massive

[originalusername3000]

Fag (insult) is very different from fag (complement) and I use both from time to time.

[originalusername3000]

Once again, reality won't let The Onion remain as satire.

[originalusername3000]

“available with premium subscription” “will be removed on the 31st” “available free with ads” “rent 4.99 buy 20.00″ “not available in your country” “not available on this device” what if every streaming service fucking killed itself and films ran around their fields free and organic in their natural state

[originalusername3000]

its so sweet to me whenever a reconstruction of a neanderthal's face shows up on social media and people are like "oh they would have loved minecraft" "they would have loved weed brownies" it's so sweet. i hope that continues on to the next stage of human evolution. i want whoever comes next to dig me up, reconstruct my face, and for the girlbloggers of this far-flung civilization to go "duuuude she would have loved churfing back a freefing zarbee"

[originalusername3000]

Why are streaming services these days all named shit like Fubi and Hehu and lala

[originalusername3000]

training your brain to default to gender neutral language is actually so fun & sexy & will challenge so many dumbass assumptions you didn't even realize u had about the world

[originalusername3000]

Day 1 of the orb: dude I got this orb.

Day 10 of the orb:

[originalusername3000]

Man, I almost drank myself to death yesterday, I can't even remember my name, if only there was someone that could help me.

The the trustworthy and saint-like lieutenant:

[originalusername3000]